IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 3, 2005
Location: Pepsi Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

We’re about a month away from Wrestlemania and things are starting to come into shape. The big story coming out of Monday affects Smackdown as well as Kurt Angle agreed to face Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania and left him a bloody mess. Tonight is going to be more about John Cena vs. JBL and that’s what matters more than anything else around here. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a recap of JBL’s celebration last week with Big Show John Cena breaking it up and wrecking a bunch of stuff.

Here’s Cena for a chat and he gets straight to the point: he’s sick of everything being about JBL. Who throws a party for themselves? JBL was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and has always had stocks, but a few years ago, Cena was spending his money to sit right out there with the fans. He’s spent all day making a sign to hold up and then spent his money to buy a foam finger or an old school ice cream bars with Doink the Clown on the front.

Last week Cena broke up JBL’s party because he wants to fight and since real recognizes real, these people don’t care about what JBL can buy. They want to see a fight but JBL doesn’t want one. This week, the fighting champion is fighting Orlando Jordan. The sheer apathy from the crowd is jarring. Then JBL can throw another party for himself and get an award for being the biggest b**** in the WWE. It doesn’t matter how long JBL has held the title because it’s all about how many days he has left with the title. At Wrestlemania, Cena is getting the title and that’s that. Fired up promo here, as is often the case with Cena.

Tag Team Titles: Mark Jindrak/Luther Reigns vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

Reigns and Jindrak, who got in a brawl last week, are challenging here. Reigns starts and slaps Jindrak’s hand, which isn’t a tag for no logical reason. Some left hands in the corner have Eddie in trouble so it’s off to Jindrak vs. Rey in a hurry. Jindrak and Reigns take turns choking Mysterio on the ropes, followed by Jindrak cranking on both of Rey’s arms at once. Rey gets in the sitout bulldog but Reigns is right there to elbow Rey in the back.

A dropkick to the knee gets Rey a breather but Jindrak gets in a knee from the apron for the save. As tends to be the case, the tag goes through a few seconds later and Eddie gets to clean house. The champs’ ten punches in the corner are broken up so Rey hurricanranas Jindrak over the top. Two Amigos hit Reigns and Rey adds the springboard seated senton. The frog splash retains the titles.

Rating: C-. Perfectly acceptable for a quick opener but that’s all it was going to be. There was no reason to believe that Jindrak and Reigns were going to win the titles here, due to a combination of their issues last week and even WWE isn’t desperate enough to make Jindrak and Reigns champions. Rey and Eddie are good champions and can hold the titles until a better option comes around.

This week, Jindrak drops Reigns with one punch. To be fair, that was a great left hand, even if Cole thinks a straight punch and a hook are the same thing.

The announcers talk about Angle vs. Michaels.

The women talk about Angle attacking Shawn on Raw. Dawn Marie comes up to yell at them and gets a mixed tag with Michelle McCool for later. Dawn: “You’re going to learn who runs this locker room.” I can appreciate the idea of giving them stories, but this is going to be a disaster.

Carlito comes in to see Theodore Long, who hands him a shovel for his first job. Carlito can shovel snow outside to make sure the parking lot is safe. Keep in mind that Carlito has an arm in a sling. Carlito: “That’s not cool!” Long: “You’re right. That’s COLD!”

Video on Steve Austin in Piper’s Pit at Wrestlemania.

Booker T. vs. Heidenreich

No Way Out rematch because WWE wants to run off its audience. Booker jumps him at the bell as it’s time for some revenge (remember that Heidenreich hit him with a chair at No Way Out). Heidenreich gets stomped and chopped in the corner, followed by the hook kick to the shoulder. A boot to the face keeps Heidenreich in trouble and it’s time to go to the floor for a change.

Booker gets posted and you can feel the energy going away as Heidenreich takes over. And we were supposed to buy him as a threat to Undertaker for how long? The arm goes around the post and we hit an armbar as Heidenreich goes psychological. Booker fights up and hits some kicks for the comeback but gets turned inside out with a clothesline. Heidenreich tries the chair again so Booker kicks it into his face. A DDT onto the chair disqualifies Booker.

Rating: D-. It wasn’t good, it wasn’t entertaining, it wasn’t interesting and it wasn’t anything positive. These two are terrible together as Heidenreich is somehow getting worse, to the point where someone as good as Booker can’t even do anything with him. Terrible waste of time here and there’s probably going to be a third.

A Few Good Men Wrestlemania trailer. Still one of the best of the bunch, if not the very best.

Here’s Angle to address the end of Raw. Angle is rather pleased with what he did and we see the rather bloody footage of him attacking Michaels. I mean, it’s in black and white which doesn’t exactly hide what happened, but it is kind of censored. Back in the arena, Angle can’t stop smiling. He thought it would be a fair fight at Wrestlemania but look at how beaten up Shawn is.

Angle was going to break Shawn’s ankle at the Rumble but security stopped him. Then Angle came to Raw and bloodied Shawn on his home turf. At Wrestlemania, it’s going to be an even worse beating when Angle proves that he is the best ever. As for tonight, let’s have a Kurt Angle Invitational. Someone comes out in a hoodie with his head covered but Angle doesn’t buy it. The hood comes off to reveal…..not Shawn. Angle: “I knew you weren’t Shawn Michaels!” The cameraman with the fake mustache though? That’s Shawn. The fight is on with Shawn beating up security until even more of them come out to break things up.

During the break, a calm Long had security escort Shawn out of the building, but there are no hard feelings.

Michelle McCool/Big Show vs. Dawn Marie/Rene Dupree

My goodness they managed to make it worse. Rene has a terribly black eye coming in. He’ll probably have it going out but he has it coming in too. The women start things off with Dawn shoving her down and then getting in a slap. Some standing on the hair ensues but just fires Michelle up for a crossbody. Michelle threatens her with the least intimidating right hand ever and gets kicked in the ribs. Dupree comes in for the French Tickler but a Show distraction lets Michelle get in a low blow. That means Show can come in for his own dance and it’s the chokeslam for the easy pin. This is a thing that happened.

Carlito pokes at the snow until a car splashes him with water. Cole: “HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A JACKET ON!”

Hulk Hogan Hall of Fame announcement.

Here’s a ticked off JBL for a chat. He wants to know why he deserved to have his celebration ruined last week. The common people around here need a hero like him and have no choice: he is their WWE Champion and they need to listen. They must respect him, especially John Cena, who has made a mockery of the US Title and himself. On the grandest stage of them all, JBL has to step into the ring with a piece of garbage like Cena. He goes on a rant about how his family can have the finest things in the world because they don’t have to be like Cena.

The people here have mamas who drink too much because their fathers leave. Now the people want to be like Cena and rhyme or put a ball in a hoop. They want him to provide them with a job but he can only have so many drivers, doormen and gardeners. The people are too stupid to recognize greatness and chant his name so he demands their respect. If he doesn’t receive the respect he deserves, he will walk out of this place right now. JBL does in fact leave and goes to the back, where he tells Orlando Jordan to win the title or be sent back to the hood.

This was an outstanding promo with JBL continuing to be a great talker throughout the last few months. He’s awesome at the comedy stuff but the serious promos were some outstanding ones as well. These things really did come off like he thought he was better than everyone else and that these people who supported Cena were beneath him. I wanted to see someone come out and shut him up, which is a pretty hard thing to pull off.

Chavo Guerrero comes in to see Rey and says that Eddie is waiting to turn on Rey. That seems to get inside Rey’s head.

Big Show and Joy Giovanni are in the back when Funaki comes up. He’s VERY excited because Akebono has challenged Big Show for Wrestlemania. Big Show doesn’t care what kind of a match it is because he’s in.

Raw Rebound.

Wrestlemania Recall: Jake Roberts and Alice Cooper at Wrestlemania III.

US Title: John Cena vs. Orlando Jordan

Cena is defending. A quick rollup gives Cena two but Jordan actually gets in a headlock takeover. Cena isn’t having that and plants Jordan for the Shuffle as we take a break. Back with Jordan fighting out of a chinlock but getting knocked right back down into the corner. Cena: “I HAVE UNTIL FIVE!” The chinlock goes on again but Jordan pokes him in the eye and gets two with his feet on the ropes. You don’t do that to Cena, who pounds down right hands in the corner (without using his left hand to make for a weird visual).

Jordan drops him face first onto the buckle for the break and some near falls. An elbow to the face gets two and Jordan grabs his own chinlock. This one is broken up with a belly to back suplex and they’re both down. The referee checks on Cena so Jordan grabs the chain, which is knocked out of his hands just as fast. Cena initiates the finishing sequence and hits the FU, but here are the Bashams, who left with JBL earlier. JBL is here as well as Cena beats up the Bashams and it’s a belt shot to give Jordan the pin and the title.

Rating: D. Jordan has absolutely nothing but that’s what makes him the right choice to take the title from Cena. There is no one on the roster who can realistically hang with Cena so having a loser steal the title from him was a good way to go. Jordan isn’t going to feel like a real champion so having him be the lame version of the Honky Tonk Man works as well as anything else. Throw in JBL stealing the title from Cena and it’s even better.

Cole is FURIOUS to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Wow that was bad. JBL’s promo and the Angle/Shawn segment were both good but they were never going to be able to overcome everything else. They kept hyping up that we’re a month from Wrestlemania and we’re watching Booker T. vs. Heidenreich and Michelle McCool’s debut match? They’re teasing Rey vs. Eddie but I need something more than Big Show vs. Akebono. I know they have a few more weeks, but they’re taking their sweet time with adding some of the big stuff. We’re officially at four matches and while there is still time, there isn’t that much time. Pick it up a lot.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: CHIKARA Pro

Once Upon A Beginning
Date: April 5, 2019
Location: White Eagle Hall, Jersey City, New Jersey
Commentator: Mike Quackenbush

This is from Chikara and if you haven’t seen or heard of them….I’m not sure what to tell you. Imagine a comic book come to life as a wrestling promotion with the most ridiculous, over the top stories (mind control, cavemen, a colony of various ants and I don’t know where else to keep going) in the history of wrestling. I don’t follow the promotion enough to know what’s going on here so let’s get to it.

Cornelius Crummels/Sonny Defarge vs. CCK

CCK (Chris Brookes/Kid Lykos) are rather big in Europe. Defarge and Crummels look like they belong around 1915 and are former Tag Team Champions. Lykos (under a mask) and Defarge start things off with Lykos calling for a brainbuster less than thirty seconds in. That’s broken up but Defarge misses a big boot, allowing Lykos to snap off a hurricanrana. Crummels tags himself in and blocks a hiptoss attempt and it’s off to Brookes for the first time.

A basement dropkick gives Brookes one but a slobber covered finger won’t go into Crummels’ mouth. Crummels puts it in Brookes’ mouth instead and it’s Defarge coming in for some cheating. That’s fine with Brookes who sends Crummels over Defarge for a sunset flip, setting up a catapult to make Crummels hit Defarge low. Lykos comes back in and gets chop blocked, sending him face first into Crummels’ knees.

A dropkick puts Lykos down for two and a running version in the corner gets the same. Lykos finally rolls away from Crummels and it’s back to Brookes as the pace picks up. Everything breaks down and Brookes is pulled outside so Lykos hits his own dive. Back in and Lykos’ Diamond Dust gets two on Crummels but Defarge sends Lykos outside. One heck of a clothesline gets two on Brookes but Lykos comes back in for a distraction.

Brookes nails a slingshot cutter with Crummels making the save. Back up and Brookes charges at Defarge but gets caught in a hanging piledriver to drop him again. Defarge powerbombs Brookes onto Crummels’ knees with Lykos making a save this time. Lykos goes up top so Crummels uses Defarge as a launchpad for a super monkey flip for the pin at 10:15.

Rating: D+. Not great here with the action getting a little messy at times. It doesn’t help that Crummels and Defarge look enough alike that it was hard to keep them apart. The other problem is this didn’t feel like a Chikara match and could have been on just about any show over the weekend. Not terrible, but run of the mill at best.

Missile Assault Man vs. Boomer Hatfield

Assault Man is rather serious while Boomer (I’m assuming Dash’s brother/cousin/mystic spirit dragon given where we are) wears a baseball mask. Assault starts fast and throws him around, setting up a heck of a clothesline. It’s time to start stomping on Hatfield’s leg but the Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work.

Instead it’s a northern lights suplex into an elbow as Assault isn’t wasting time here. Boomer armdrags his way out of a fireman’s carry and a headscissors sends Assault outside. Back in and Boomer’s high crossbody is countered into a reverse Razor’s Edge to send him face first into the buckle (looked rather awesome, though it could go badly at the same time) for the pin at 4:02.

Rating: C-. Pretty much a squash here but I can see why Assault is considered a monster. It helps when Hatfield isn’t that big and can get beaten up so easily. They mentioned that he was a rookie as well so it was a rather simple formula. Sometimes you need a squash like this one to make someone look good and it worked well for Assault here.

The win gives Assault three points, meaning he can challenge for the World Title.

Cam Zigani/Arik Cannon/Hallowicked/Hermit Crab vs. Jigsaw/Razerhawk/Stokely Hathaway/Thunderfrog

Everyone here has held the Young Lions Cup before and this is going to be a match where I’m trying to tell who is who. Hathaway is Chuck Taylor, which must be a joke that they’re not going to explain. Zigani and Razerhawk start things off with Razerhawk hand walking into a headscissors, followed by a springboard armdrag (required around here). That’s enough to send Zigani over for a tag to Cannon, who gets to face Hathaway.

A wristlock nearly has Arik tapping until he reverses into one of his own, which has the fans chanting PLEASE DON’T TAP. The short form technical wrestling sets up a double tag to Jigsaw and Hallowicked, who have a long history together. They go to the mat to start with Hallowicked getting the better of the grappling but not being able to do anything against his bridge on the mat.

A pinfall reversal sequence gives us a standoff and the fans politely applaud. Jigsaw hits a middle rope hurricanrana into a double stomp for two and it’s off to Crab vs. Thunderfrog, complete with Thor style hammer. Crab goes with a nerve hold but gets caught in an airplane spin, plus one in the other direction ala Tyler Bate. Thunderfrog’s Cannonball (WAY too common of a move in so many promotions these days) looks to set up a Vader Bomb but everything breaks down for the big brawl instead.

That means Thunderfrog’s team hitting ten punches in every corner until quadruple atomic drops break it up. We settle down to Cam neckbreakering Thunderfrog and Jigsaw getting the two. Cannon’s snapmare gets two as the Thunderfrog beating continues in the corner. Crab gets two more off a suplex but Hallowicked walks into a Blue Thunder Bomb. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Jigsaw so things can pick up a bit.

Stokely comes in to take over but he has to beat up Cannon and Hallowicked at the same time. The Falcon Arrow gets two as the fans chant for Hathaway. Soul Food connects but a Sky High gives Hallowicked two. Cannon hits a brainbuster for two on Jigsaw but Thunderfrog sends him to the floor for a big flip dive.

Back in and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers, with Razerhawk handspring elbowing Hallowicked and Hermit Crab. Things slow down a bit as we seem to be getting ready for the big spot. Cannon tells the referee something and the ring mostly clears out. Zigani can’t superplex Razerhawk so Thunderfrog grabs his big hammer and strikes the mat to knock everyone down. Razerhawk hits a Swanton to finish Zigani at 17:48.

Rating: C. I’m going to be as nice as I can here and say that this was messy. There were eight people there with a lot of stories and characters that aren’t explained, which makes this feel like a joke we’re not in on. This is one of those shows that should be designed to draw in some fans and it seemed that we were supposed to know everything that was going on coming in, including that Stokely/Taylor deal. It was a fun spot fest, but it could have been a lot better with a little less time and more explanation.

Hold on though as Thunderfrog forgets his hammer and since no one can lift it, we have to wait for him to come back and get the thing.

Air Wolf vs. A-Kid

This could be good and these two were very familiar faces over the weekend. They hit the mat to start with Wolf working on an armbar to limited avail due to a twisting escape. A-Kid goes with a headscissors on the mat before switching off to a headlock. Some quick flips let A-Kid hit a dropkick and we take a breather until Wolf can pull himself out of the corner. Wolf is fine enough to hit a kick to the chest and a snap suplex gets two.

The Rings of Saturn have A-Kid in more trouble and Wolf twists the wrist around to make it even worse. That’s broken up so Wolf hits a spinning gutbuster for two. Wolf tries some kicks to the chest but A-Kid blocks one and strikes away to take over. The triangle choke is broken up in a hurry and they hit stereo bicycle kicks for a double knockdown. Back up and A-Kid gets two off a northern lights suplex but Wolf kicks him into the ropes.

That means a 619 between the bottom ropes to send A-Kid outside. You know that means the big old dive to the floor and Wolf hits a somewhat messy dive back inside for two. Some attempts at a double underhook something don’t work as A-Kid is right back up with a sliding German suplex. A missile dropkick gives A-Kid two and the fans aren’t sure who to cheer for here.

The slugout goes to Wolf but A-Kid pulls him down into another triangle choke. Wolf powers him up but A-Kid jumps forward with a Canadian Destroyer in a sweet counter. A-Kid puts him on top, where Wolf hits a swinging butterfly superplex for another double knockdown. They head up top again but this time A-Kid catches him with a super Spanish Fly for the pin at 11:44.

Rating: B. Yeah this was a blast with both guys working as hard as they could and having a competitive match without going too nuts with the high flying. Sometimes a match like this is one high spot after another but they were trading spots here instead of going as crazy as they could. That was a very nice change of pace and I had a much better time with this one than I was expecting to.

Post match, respect is shown.

Here’s Juan Francisco de Coronado for a chat, though he breaks with his tradition of coming to the ring slower than Undertaker. He says his name is NOT Juan Francisco de Coronado and he has fallen on some hard times as of late. Fans: “YOU DESERVE IT!” He’s been having some personal and financial issues, including losing his Ecuadorian citizenship and has had to use his body to pay off debts. It has made him do some soul searching and there has been one constant in his brain: maybe he isn’t good enough. Maybe he would be better off if he just quit.

The fans are split on that one but one other thing has been on his mind: on this weekend, no one has come here to see him. Maybe it’s time for him to make a change. He is no longer Juan Francisco de Coronado. Now he is John Francis of Coronado. And that’s it. Given that it’s Chikara, I would expect this story to go on for the next three years.

Young Lions Cup: Still Life With Apricots and Pears vs. Carlos Romo

Still Life is defending and is basically an art project come to life, complete with being identified as “they” instead of he or she. The Cup is full of flowers to keep things a little off. Still Life pulls him in by the arm off a handshake offer and it’s an early start on Romo’s leg. Romo is right back up with a leg lariat for two as the announcers try to figure out where the bullseye is on Still Life considering all the other paint. It’s right back to Romo’s leg with some cranking on the mat.

Back up and Still Life kicks him in the ribs but Romo hits a chop in the corner, which just seems to hurt his own hand. Still Life dropkicks him in the leg for two but a spinning toehold is countered into a small package for two. A running knee to the head drops Still Life and it’s time to strike away at the champ. Romo hits a springboard spinning cutter (cool) but misses a moonsault that would have gone too far, even if Still Life hadn’t moved. Something close to a reverse/inverted Figure Four (a modified Venus Flytrap called Venus de Milo) retains the Cup at 5:53.

Rating: D+. This is the kind of stuff that I like to see from Chikara as you could never get away with something like Still Life elsewhere. That’s what makes it more interesting: it might not work elsewhere, but it works here. That takes some serious world building and Chikara has done it for a very long time now. Let that go somewhere and they’ll turn him into a star, because that’s what they know how to do around here.

Princess Kimber Lee vs. The Whisper

They’re the reigning Tag Team Champions who don’t get along and are fighting each other here. It worked for Mysterio and Guerrero. Whisper is the Innovator of Silence and Lee is from the Suplex Kingdom. Lee doesn’t wait for the bell and starts throwing the German suplexes as we have an unlikely Brock Lesnar inspired character. She is on about her twelfth German suplex in a row and Whisper is done.

Another is broken up but Whisper can’t hit his own German suplex. Instead Lee elbows him in the face and starts rolling more German suplexes. Whisper finally gets in his own German suplex….and Lee no sells it. A kick to the head sets up a bridging German suplex to give Lee the pin at 3:20.

Rating: D+. It’s another storyline match, though this one was a little more charming than most of what you would get out of a Lesnar match. Whisper is similar to Still Life in that he is his own thing who is probably a lot more interesting around here, though he wouldn’t work all that well anywhere else. Lee is someone who fits a lot better around here than she did in NXT, which is perfectly fine for a lot of people. Not a good match, but it seemed to advance their story.

FIST vs. The Colony

That would be Tony Deppen/Icarus/Travis Huckabee (Friends in Similar Tights, a stable which has been around for a LONG time with a bunch of different members) vs. Fire Ant/Green Ant/Thief Ant (same thing, but they’re humanoid bugs). The brawl is on in a hurry as these teams apparently have a deep history (that’s downright terrifying around here) until it’s Icarus driving Green into the corner as the proper match starts.

Huckabee misses a knee drop and it’s time to start in on some kind of arm hold with Deppen making the save. Thief comes in and starts slowly punching away in the corner but Deppen sends him outside for a nasty looking suicide dive. Green hits his own corkscrew dive onto Deppen and Huckabee, leaving Icarus vs. Fire Ant, with the announcers talking about the long history between the two of them.

Fire sends him outside to set up the launched dive (the Antapult), leaving Deppen to get superkicked for two. Green and Deppen chop it out with FIST hitting a triple running kick in the corner for another two. Thief and Fire break up a second attempt and it’s a triple dropkick in the corner for two on Huckabee. A rollup is reversed into a Brock Lock on Fire but Thief makes the save and puts on one of his own (with commentary explaining that he can steal moves but not do them as well, which is pretty clever).

The Wings of Icarus (Pedigree) gets two on Icarus but Deppen is back up with a jumping knee to Thief’s face. Green gets the Chikara Special (pull on an arm and leg at the same time in a specific way) but Icarus makes the save with the Blu Ray (it’s a Death Valley Driver, but more dangerous than a DVD) for two.

Something close to Bandido’s 21 Plex drops Fire, who no sells the whole thing and kicks Icarus in the face for two. Huckabee takes Fire up top but Green breaks up what looked to be a butterfly superplex. Fire is right back up with a super hurricanrana into a double suicide dive. That leaves Green to try the Chikara Special, which Travis reverses into a Brock Lock with a bodyscissors for the tap at 9:47.

Rating: B-. This is a match where it seems the history would make this better but what we got here was a rather entertaining match. Chikara knows its trios matches and even with commentary talking about FIST getting a Tag Team Title shot soon, I wasn’t sure who was winning. The Colony is a very fun act and FIST is a good counterpart to them so I had a good time.

Director of Fun Bryce Remsburg thanks the fans for coming out (Which he does every time you come to a show, including person to person. I’ve talked to him a few times and he’s an incredibly nice guy.) but doesn’t think he’s right for the job anymore. Therefore, we have a new Director of Fun (GM): Sydney Bakabella.

This doesn’t sit well with Bryce, who leaves after a forced hug. Bakabella (WHERE DO THEY GET THESE NAMES???) talks about calling some of the great wrestling presidents, including Jack Tunny, Stanley Blackburn and Jim Barnett, who told him to take the job. He’ll be here to have fun and you can take the to the pay window. Fans: “YOU’RE NOT FUN!”

We recap the main event, complete with a graphic of Kimber Lee vs. Whisper. Mark Angelosetti was Grand Champion but got hurt, meaning he was allowed to choose an interim champion. That would be Dasher Hatfield, his former partner. Hatfield got a lot more confident by winning over and over again, but now Angelosetti is healthy again. Hatfield hit him with the title to go heelish, meaning it’s time for the title match between the former friends.

Grand Championship: Dasher Hatfield vs. Mark Angelosetti

Angelosetti is challenging, even though he should still be the official champion and it’s a ladder match. Hatfield wears a baseball themed mask and his theme music starts like the SportsCenter jingle. Angelosetti is Mr. Touchdown and somehow doesn’t come out to anything resembling the Monday Night Football theme. He does however have a song that seems to be called Welcome To Touchdown City, saying he is “better than Favre in a pair of jeans.”

They go straight to the slugout to start as Bryce bails to the floor at the bell in a smart move. They’re on the floor with Dasher getting the better of his step cousin in-law (given wrestling relations, I’m fine with it). A chop off goes to Angelosetti and he forearms Dasher in the face. They fight near the ladder with Dasher sending him back inside and the ladder following. Angelosetti goes for the first climb but is smart enough to drop down when Dasher gets back in. Why do so few people figure that out?

Angelosetti whips him back first into the ladder and hits some splashes in the vein of football up downs. Instead of a big one though, Angelosetti puts the ladder onto Dasher and then hits the splash to put in some pain. That’s enough to get a hand on the ladder but Dasher tips it over, sending Angelosetti onto the buckles, with Angelosetti sticking the landing. Again, in a way of keeping things simple, Dasher shoves him out to the floor instead of doing something dumb.

Dasher slams him legs first onto the apron and kicks at the leg for a bonus. A backdrop on the floor gets Angelosetti out of trouble and it’s time for the big ladder (required really). Instead of climbing up, Angelosetti hits a Cannonball in the corner as we hear about the history of ladder matches around here. All two of them. Dasher gets whipped into the regular ladder in the corner, which Dasher throws at the big one.

They go up the big ladder at the same time with Angelosetti belly to back suplexing him down for the next big crash. Angelosetti is down as well so Dasher gets in a shot to the leg. A shinbreaker onto the ladder in the corner has Angelosetti in real trouble for the first time. Like a good heel, Dasher ties him in the Tree of Woe for more kicks to the leg, followed by a baseball slide to send a ladder into Angelosetti’s face.

Dasher goes up but takes too long (of course), allowing Angelosetti to hit him with the other ladder. They go up a ladder each and the fans request that they don’t die. That means a double crash and they both bounce off the ropes for the knockdowns. Dasher is up first and gets creative by tying the big ladder vertically in the ropes, allowing him to whip Angelosetti into it for a cool visual.

Angelosetti sets up the smaller ladder up across from the big one, with Dasher letting him do just that. The ladders are both standing up so they shove each other into them for a cool yet rather contrived spot. Angelosetti gets the better of it here and unhooks the regular ladder, which is knocked into his face for taking too long. Dasher grabs Boomer Hatfield (apparently his son and watching from ringside) and demands help, which Boomer doesn’t want to offer. With that not working, Dasher shoves him down and…that seems to be it for Boomer.

It’s time to bring in some chairs but Angelosetti manages a spinebuster onto them, leaving a line on Dasher’s back for a painful visual. The big ladder is set up in the middle of the ring but Angelosetti takes too long (the plague of ladder matches), allowing Dasher to wrap the leg around the ladder. In a creative spot, Dasher Pillmanizes the leg while Angelosetti is still standing on the ladder. Dasher grabs an elbow pad which apparently he used to cheat in a big tournament back in Season 15.

Instead of going for the belt, Dasher loads up a big elbow from the ladder, allowing Angelosetti to get up for a superplex off the ladder and the next big crash. The Flea Flicker (belly to back suplex into a pair of knees to the chest) knocks Dasher down again but hurts Angelosetti’s knee even more. Angelosetti climbs up the big ladder with the small one wedged in between to help with some bracing. Since that’s just dumb in a ladder match, Dasher Batista Bombs him through the regular ladder to kill Angelosetti for good. Dasher pulls down the title for the win at 24:35.

Rating: B+. This went a bit longer than it needed to and some of the spots took too long to set up, but the carnage and anger were both there. That’s what they were going for as these two seem to have been rather close before the title got between them. It’s worthy of a main event and it’s nice to have something of note happen on the show. What matters most here is how brutal this was and I had a good time watching it, though trimming five minutes would have helped a lot.

Overall Rating: B-. It took some time to get going but the big matches delivered and there was more than enough good stuff throughout to make the show work. Chikara is one of, if not the most, unique promotions out there and it’s really cool to see some of their ideas in action. The main event feels bigger than anything else as the rest of the show came off as more like a showcase than a major show. To be fair though, that’s kind of what Wrestlemania weekend is all about for the indies, and this show would make me keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 14,178
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Tonight’s show focuses on one idea: the Nexus Invasion. Back in February of 2010 ECW was replaced by a new competition show called NXT. Eight rookies tried to become the next WWE Superstar with Wade Barrett winning the competition. One night in June, these eight men invaded Raw and took over the arena to end the show. Over the next three months, these men, now called Nexus, terrorized the company and John Cena in particular. Tonight it’s Team WWE vs. Nexus in a Survivor Series elimination tag match. We also have Kane vs. Mysterio and Orton vs. Sheamus in the title matches. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about how change can affect so many things, such as Nexus destroying everything in sight.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

Dolph is defending and has Vickie with him. These two have fought a ridiculous number of times, even trumping Edge vs. Cena. Ziggler took the title nine days ago with Vickie’s assistance. Vickie’s EXCUSE ME is finally cut off by Kofi’s music. Kingston quickly takes him down and stomps away before clotheslining Dolph to the outside. A suicide dive totally misses though and Ziggler gets a breather.

Back in and the champion pounds away before getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit an early chinlock but Kofi is out of it in a few seconds. Instead Dolph sends him face first into the buckle for two before hitting a Hennig neck snap for two. Off to a reverse chinlock for a few moments until the jumping elbow drop gets two for Dolph.

We hit chinlock #4 but Kofi gets bored and goes off on the champion before hitting the Boom Drop. The middle rope cross body is rolled through, getting a two for Dolph as things speed up. A Fameasser puts Kofi down for two more but he pops up and clotheslines Dolph back down. The champion avoids Trouble in Paradise and hooks his sleeper but the Nexus runs in for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of having far better matches if they don’t have to kill time until the run-in ending. Far too much of the match was spent in the chinlockery and it’s a rare bad opening match for Summerslam. Kofi continues his career path as Ziggler is about to start his climb to almost the top of the company.

Ziggler bails and Nexus destroys Kingston. Barrett talks about how Team WWE only has six men but the seventh doesn’t matter because Nexus is going to destroy them. This felt like the opening of Raw.

Jericho begs Mr. MITB and the US Champion the Miz to be on Team WWE. Edge is on the Miz’s other side eating a Slim Jim because Edge is awesome. Jericho says Miz doing this in LA could be bigger than Titanic or Avatar Miz doesn’t seem intersted.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Alicia is champion and the flavor of the month of the division. Melina has on a headdress that makes her look like a peacock. She looks….stupid. Melina takes forever taking off her furry boots before we’re finally ready to go. After they stare at each other for a good while Melina shoves her into the corner and then they stare at each other some more. The champion takes it to the mat with a headlock before Melina comes up with forearms. Off to a kind of Indian Deathlock with a curb stomp to Fox followed by a pair of knees to Fox’s ribs.

Some more forearms have Fox in trouble but Melina lands on her bad knee which cost her eight months off. The knee is good enough for Melina to superkick Fox, only to be sent shoulder first into the post. Back in and Fox goes after the arm because she’s not that bright. Melina realizes how stupid this is and makes her comeback with a kick to the ribs. A LOUD scream sets up a kick to the back and kind of a Diamond Cutter faceplant for the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. Both girls looked great but my dear merciful goodness Fox was embarrassing out there. When Jerry Lawler is making fun of you for having a lack of psychology, it’s a bad sign for your match. The Divas division hit a black hole after Trish and Lita left and this was a great example of how bad it was getting.

Post match Josh Matthews goes in to talk to Melina but here’s Laycool to interrupt. They’re the co-women’s champions here after literally tearing the belt in two. They try to take a picture with Melina but she kicks them both in the ribs. Layla trips Melina up though, allowing Michelle to clearly not make contact on a big boot. Fox tries to join in but gets beaten down as well. The titles would be unified next month.

Trace Adkins, Marlon Wayans and Michael Clarke Duncan are here.

We recap Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society. Mysterio had won a match against Punk, forcing him to shave his head. Punk wore a mask to hide it but Big Show ripped it off to humiliate him. Punk’s Society (Luke Gallows, Joey Mercury and Serena) got together and broke Big Show’s hand in a segment much funnier than it should have been due to Big Show’s face while being choked out.

Big Show vs. Straight Edge Society

Three on one handicap match. Punk has already grown his hair to a bit shorter than it is in 2013. We continue the awesome that is CM Punk as he wears a shirt saying “I Broke Big Show’s Hand”, which is a reference to Greg Valentine’s “I Broke Wahoo’s Leg” shirt from about thirty years ago. Show takes off his cast to reveal that the hand is fully healed and to freak Punk out a bit.

Mercury charges right into a chop and Gallows gets the same. The Society has to tag in and out here so Punk calls a conference on the apron. Gallows and Mercury jump Big Show and apparently tagging isn’t required here. Show easily throws away the lackeys and palms Mercury by the head, throwing him over the top and onto Gallows. Punk is the only one left now and a few shots to the back easily put him down. Show misses a chop and hits the steps, giving the Society an opening to go after the hand.

The Society pounds away with really basic stuff as we’re just waiting on the comeback. Punk charges into a back elbow and Show cleans house for a bit until Punk hits a high kick to slow him down. Some running knees in the corner stagger the giant before a double DDT from Punk and Mercury gets two. Punk goes nuts on the hand but Show picks him up on his shoulders. After dropping Punk over the top, the lackeys are destroyed again and Show chokeslams Mercury onto Gallows for a double pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as Big Show never once felt like he was in any kind of danger at all. That was the problem with this whole feud: Show treated Punk like an annoyance rather than an opponent. This would lead up to the destruction of Punk in a one on one match next month because Big Show needed that push right?

Kane is standing by Undertaker’s casket and talks about getting revenge on Rey Mysterio for attacking Undertaker. Raw World Champion Sheamus comes in and proposes an alliance but Kane wants no part of it. Kane says Sheamus has guts and they’ll be on the floor if he interrupts Kane again. Sheamus is still a heel here and is actually pretty awesome.

Speaking of awesome, here’s Miz to answer Jericho and Edge’s offer from earlier. Miz doesn’t care if the fans want him on the team or not because he’s the missing link in the WWE chain. Earlier today Cena admitted he was wrong about Miz and brags about Bret Hart begging him to be on the team on Raw.

Jericho gave Miz a Fozzy CD but Miz threw it away. Miz’s former partner John Morrison admitted Miz was the HBK of the team, Edge gave him Slim Jims and Truth wrote him a rap. Miz is the future and brags about how much bigger he is than everything else. He actually agrees to be on the team tonight but the fans aren’t allowed to do his catchphrase with him. Cole loses his mind over Miz’s announcement.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus. There isn’t much to say here as Orton won a three way over Edge and Jericho on Raw to earn the shot. Sheamus won the title at Fatal Fourway with the unintentional assistance of Nexus. Sheamus has been hurting a lot of people lately and he claims Orton is the next victim.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is challenging if that somehow wasn’t clear. This is during Orton’s bare arms phase which was always a strange look. Cole lets us know that if anyone interferes on Sheamus’ behalf, they’re suspended. If Orton loses, he gets no rematch. Sheamus shoves him into the corner and shouts in his face. It works so well that he does it again, earning him right hands to the face. Orton stomps Sheamus down into the corner and hits a hard clothesline to put him down again.

Orton drops him with another clothesline and a third to send the champion to the floor. The fourth straight clothesline sends Sheamus into the crowd but Orton has to go back inside before the ten count. Back in and Orton hits the circle stomp for two and a catapult into the bottom rope sends Sheamus outside again. The champion FINALLY gets a breather by sending Orton shoulder first into the steps. They’re doing the methodical build here which implies they have a lot of time.

Sheamus takes over with the power brawling via a knee to the ribs and a reverse chinlock. Back up and Orton counters a suplex but the Elevated DDT is countered into a backdrop to the floor. Sheamus rams Orton’s back into the barricade and the look on Orton’s face is great. Back in and a hard ax handle to the head gets two. This is surprisingly good stuff so far which leaves me with little to talk about.

Sheamus grabs something resembling a cross face chicken wing as is the case with most guys who come out of FCW. That’s one of the problems with one training area: you get a lot of the same spots from guys. Orton comes back with kicks to the ribs but another ax handle to the face takes him down. Back to the chicken wing and Sheamus channels his inner Jericho, telling the referee to ask him. Back up and Orton suplexes Sheamus down but can’t follow up.

They slug it out with Orton taking over. The fans are WAY into Randy here. A bad powerslam puts Sheamus down which Cole calls “A malignant growth of momentum.” Lay off the JR metaphors dude. A superplex gets two for Randy but he walks into the Irish Curse (note that at this point, the High Cross (Razor’s Edge) was called the Irish Curse. I’m using the more well known move: the Rock Bottom backbreaker) for two.

The Brogue Kick misses and Sheamus falls to the floor, only to be caught in the Elevated DDT as he comes back inside. The RKO is shoved off for two but Orton escapes the Irish Curse. Brogue Kick is only good for two which is a very rare sight to see. What isn’t a rare sight tonight is a bad finish, much like here as Sheamus gets himself disqualified for a chair shot.

Rating: B-. Bad finish to a good match here. Sheamus is getting better and better which makes you wonder why they book him so badly in present times. The guy is clearly talented but he hasn’t had to really work hard to beat a guy in months. This was a good match though and they clearly have chemistry together.

Post match Orton snaps and kicks Sheamus low before RKOing him onto the announce table. The fans want Miz but get a trailer for John Cena’s new movie instead.

We recap Kane vs. Mysterio. Kane won MITB and cashed in the same night to win the Smackdown Title over Rey. This was at the same time that someone had attacked Undertaker and left him in a “vegetative state” because we can’t say coma in WWE. Kane swore to find who did it but Mysterio accused Kane of doing it himself. Tonight is the rematch and somehow a way for Kane to prove his innocence.

Smackdown World Title: Kane vs. Rey Mysterio

Kane brings out a casket and I think you know where this is going. Kane hits a quick slam to start but Rey avoids an elbow drop. Rey tries to fire off some offense but Kane easily throws him around. The 619 is easily countered and Rey is sent to the floor. He slides back in and hits a quick baseball slide to get an advantage. Back in and Kane punches him off the top rope before ramming Rey back first into the post over and over.

Kane drops him ribs first over the top rope and slaps on a bearhug to keep things slow. Rey forearms out and dropkicks Kane in the chest, only to have Kane clothesline him down on a 619 attempt. Mysterio is sent chest first to the floor and kicked off a springboard to the floor. Kane follows him out but gets caught in a drop toehold into the barricade. Back in and a springboard headbutt to the chest gets two on Kane but he backbreakers Rey down again.

There’s a nice story going here of Rey speeding things up but Kane easily stopping him with power stuff. Power vs. speed is going to work almost every time and it helps that both guys are very talented. Kane bends Rey’s back over his knee before getting two off a side slam. Mysterio manages to break up the top rope clothesline but a rana attempt is easily blocked.

Now the clothesline misses and Mysterio counters another backbreaker into a tilt-a-whirl reverse DDT (here’s a good example of why Matt Striker is annoying. He calls it a Slop Drop, which is another name for a reverse DDT, but come on: does ANYONE think of the Godwinns when they see that move? Is there some Godwinn fan base out there that he’s trying to appeal to? It comes off like him trying to sound smart without adding anything at all). The seated senton puts Kane down and a spinning DDT gets two more.

A hard kick to the face gets the same but Mysterio dives into an uppercut. Kane opens up the casket to show that it’s empty but Rey sends Kane into the ropes. The 619 is caught and Rey is thrown into the casket but he kicks out of danger. Now the 619 connects but Kane gets the feet up on the springboard splash. Rey stops in mid jump though and gets two off a rollup, only to be chokeslammed to death for the pin.

Rating: C. This was about as good as this match could be. At the end of the day, it’s almost impossible to buy Mysterio as a physical threat to a guy the size of Kane. Yeah something like the 619 could stun him but it’s hard to believe anything but that or a rollup is going to get more than a one count. That’s not to say either guy is bad, but it’s the problem with a guy Mysterio’s size.

Post match Kane wants to make Rey pay for what he did to Undertaker. He promises to make Mysterio hurt for eternity and lays him out with two chokeslams and a tombstone. Kane goes to the casket and yep Undertaker is inside. HOW DID HE DO THAT I ASK YOU!!! Taker asks the half dead Rey what happened but Rey says no. The brothers go at it and Kane beats Taker down, I guess turning heel again and shocking no one. The idea is that Taker is still banged up and doesn’t have his full powers back yet.

Video on Axxess.

We recap Nexus vs. Team WWE. I think I’ve covered this well enough but it’s the first season of NXT coming to the main roster to try to take over the company. Over the last few months they’ve attacked various people and tonight it’s about revenge. Great Khali was originally on the team but was taken out by Nexus, leaving Team WWE with just six guys. Team WWE (also called Cena’s Army) is having a lot of problems with Jericho and Edge quitting over Cena’s leadership, only to come back later.

Nexus vs. Team WWE

Nexus: Wade Barrett, Justin Gabriel, Heath Slater, Michael Tarver, David Otunga, Justin Gabriel, Skip Sheffield

Team WWE: John Cena, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Edge, R-Truth, John Morrison, ???

You should know most of the Nexus, though Sheffield later changed his name to Ryback. As for Team WWE, Miz isn’t the last man. He comes out but Cena stops him, because it needed to be someone who made his decision earlier. Instead it’s……DANIEL BRYAN! This requires a backstory. The night Nexus debuted, Bryan was a member of the team. However he got fired for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a necktie as it wasn’t PG. Tonight is Bryan’s return and he wasn’t a surprise at all. See, WWE.com actually spoiled the return by mistake, ruining it for anyone who saw the website before the match.

It’s a huge brawl to start and Cole RIPS into Bryan for the sake of Miz. Bryan starts with Young and a quick LeBell (YES) Lock makes it 7-6 in less than 45 seconds. Justin Gabriel is in next and gets to fight Chris Jericho for his troubles. Some kicks to the ribs allow for the tag to Truth as things speed up. A suplex into a Stunner is good for two but Gabriel comes back with a spin kick to the face. Off to Tarver who was about as worthless as you could ask for a man to be.

Tarver charges into a boot in the corner and it’s off to Morrison to clean house with some dropkicks. The Fying Chuck (Disaster Kick) sets up Starship Pain (split legged twisting moonsault) for the second elimination. The remaining five members of Nexus hit the floor for a meeting before everything falls apart. Sheffield gets the nod and easily throws Morrison around. A big powerslam puts Morrison down and some snap suplexes work on his back even more. Morrison tries a comeback but Gabriel kicks him in the back of the head, allowing Sheffield to hit a big clothesline for the elimination.

Truth comes in and another clothesline ties the match up maybe twenty seconds later. Jericho comes in but gets sent into the buckle, allowing for the tag off to Barrett. Otunga is in a few seconds later, before he got good in the ring. Now let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway back to Barrett to crank on his NXT mentor’s arms but Jericho gets a boot up in the corner. A clothesline puts both guys down and it’s a double tag to Slater and Hart.

Old Man Bret pounds away on Heath for a few moments and doesn’t look half bad doing it. It doesn’t have the same snap that it used to but Bret’s offense still looks good. He puts on the Sharpshooter but Wade slides in a chair. Bret lets go of the hold and cracks Sheffield over the back in self defense, drawing a DQ. There really wasn’t another way to get rid of him due to an inability to take bumps. Sheffield staggers to his feet and walks into a Codebreaker from Jericho followed by a spear from Edge to tie us up.

To recap it’s Cena, Jericho, Edge and Bryan vs. Gabriel, Barrett, Otunga, Slater. On paper, this should be pure domination. Gabriel is in to face Edge but after scoring some kicks to the chest, Justin walks into an Edge-O-Matic for two. A big spin kick puts Edge down and it’s off to Slater, whose shorter hair makes him look like an even bigger tool than he does today. Slater pulls Edge into the corner for the tag off to Barrett who hooks the chinlock. Edge quickly fights up and scores with a spinwheel kick but gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker.

Back to Otunga who is almost booed out of the building. A standing spinebuster is easily countered into Edge’s Impaler and there’s the tag off to Jericho. Has Cena even been in yet? The running bulldog sets up the Lionsault and the Walls are good for the submission from Otunga. Jericho immediately knocks Slater off the apron and into the announce table to take him down. Back in and the top rope back elbow has Heath reeling but Jericho almost runs into Cena, allowing Slater to hit his running sleeper drop to pin Chris.

Edge comes in to yell at Cena but Slater rams him into John for a rollup pin thirty seconds later. Edge lays out Cena and Jericho adds a few kicks to the ribs of his own. So we have Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Gabriel/Barrett with Cena getting caught in the Nexus corner. Barrett comes in to pepper Cena with rights and lefts before it’s off to Justin to crank on the arm. Cena tries to fight back but walks into a side slam from Barrett for no cover. John comes back with a quick fisherman’s suplex but Slater breaks up the hot tag attempt.

Cena hits a hard clothesline to put Slater down and dives for the hot tag to Bryan. Daniel comes in with a quick German suplex on Slater as Striker calls for Cattle Mutilation, which means absolutely nothing to most WWE fans. Bryan backflips over Slater in the corner and hits the running clothesline before sending him to the floor for the FLYING HAIRLESS ANIMAL! Back in and Bryan hits the missile dropkick and counters a rollup into the LeBell Lock to get us down to two on two.

Bryan looks at Nexus but here’s Miz to blast him in the back with the MITB case, giving Barrett an easy pin. Gabriel hits a hard right hand in the corner to put Cena down but Cena comes back with his finishing sequence to take Gabriel down. He loads up the AA but Barrett makes a blind tag and breaks it up with a shot to the head.

Nexus stomps away on Cena in the corner and a big boot from Wade sends him to the floor. Gabriel and Barrett peel back the mats at ringside and a DDT on the concrete knocks Cena out cold. Back in and Gabriel misses the 450, allowing Cena to score a quick pin. Barrett comes in and gets caught in the STF out of nowhere for the final elimination 20 seconds later.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining and never dragged, but the ending doesn’t hold up when you take it out of the moment. Now one thing that does need to be kept in mind is Cena wasn’t in the match until over twenty minutes after the start so he was hardly banged up until the very end. That DDT on the concrete is a bit too much to take though, as Cena goes from out cold to fine in less than a minute. I can’t quite buy that.

This also brings up to the problem with Nexus: they never really won anything. At the end of the day, Barrett was the only one to have any success for a long time and to this day he’s one of two of the seven here to do much of anything. You have Ryback doing pretty well, but the rest are all midcard to lower card guys who haven’t accomplished much. As of August 2013, Tarver is gone, Otunga and Young are lucky to have jobs, Slater is a comedy jobber and Gabriel is a Superstars mainstay. That’s what killed Nexus: at the end of the day, they were a bunch of jobbers who swarmed big names and nothing more.

Overall Rating: D. This is a pretty terrible show with only two matches being decent at all. The main event is pretty good but it’s absolutely nothing worth going out of your way to see. Nexus fizzled out so badly that their existence is really just a big footnote anymore. Bryan wound up being the big star out of all of them and he was literally on the team for one night only. Nexus would go on to do nothing but annoy fans over the next few months, even with new members and Punk as a leader. The show isn’t worth seeing and thankfully things would pick up next year.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Melina vs. Alicia Fox

Original: D

Redo: D-

Straight Edge Society vs. Big Show

Original: D+

Redo: D

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Original: D+

Redo: B-

Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Original: C-

Redo: C

Team WWE vs. Nexus

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D

My goodness what was I thinking?

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/13/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2010-a-one-match-show-almost-literally/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2010
Date: August 15, 2010
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

Well we’re back again for the *insert Summerfest joke here* show. This is the epitome of a one match show as EVERYTHING has been about the Nexus invasion. The theory is that Cena turns tonight but I’m not sold on it. Nexus more or less has to win tonight or the angle is worthless. I’m not sold on this card very well at all, but it’s starting now so let’s get to it.

The opening is of course all about Nexus, which makes sense. The arena and set look great as this really is a huge show.

Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Kofi Kingston

Pretty clear that Dolph retains here. Vickie does her usual whining and catchphrase here just to be annoying. Nice pop for Kofi but nothing great. We’re in MALTA BABY! Kofi misses a dive to start and is in trouble early on. Apparently the tag titles either aren’t major titles or his win is forgotten into the Rocker Tag Title Book of History. King makes a joke about liking 11s or 12s. On a 1-10 scale you freaking perverts.

Dolph is mostly dominant here as he hooks a chinlock. Kofi can’t get the “controlled frenzy” going according to Cole. Does everything have to have a name now? Dolph gets two on a roll thru of a cross body. We get a Fameasser reference from Striker as it makes Kofi famous. Even Lawler chuckles at it. He’s more energetic tonight for some reason. Trouble in Paradise misses, which might be because OF THE MASSIVE CHANTING OF BOOM BOOM BOOM by Kofi.

Sleeper goes on….AND HERE THEY COME? Yes, Nexus hits the ring and beats them up before circling Kofi. The big beatdown follows as I have a bad feeling about where this show is going. Barrett says this is a preview of later tonight. Expect a Kofi run-in later. Nexus is united apparently.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match for what they had, but the ending is very strange. This wasn’t bad, but with no ending like this it really hurt things. I really do expect the Cena turn now for some reason, which is why it likely won’t happen. Anyway, this needed a finish to be good but even still it’s decent.

Jericho wants Miz on the team tonight and so does Edge. Edge eating a Slim Jim is epic for no reason at all. They say he could be a huge star but doesn’t say yes.

Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Well at least this should be short. Melina has a freaking headdress on and she looks like a freaking idiot. Fox is attractive with straight hair. Shame that’s not the case here. Melina is in the skin colored tights which are always weird looking. Melina is the hometown girl so she’s all awesome and such apparently. Yep this is boring. It’s not bad, but seriously does ANYONE care about this match?

Still waiting on something to happen here. Melina might have hurt her knee on a move from the ropes. Alicia of course does nothing about it. Nice superkick by Melina. This is just boring me to death but Melina’s gyrations are helping a bit. That girl could make a KILLING as a stripper. After FAR too long, Melina wins with more or less a weird snapmare. Apparently it’s called the Mind Trip. Ok then.

After the win, cue Laycool to annoy Melina. They say this is awesome and want to take a picture with “two champions” in it so hopefully this will lead to a unification thing soon. Brawl ensues and the worst kick every by Michelle misses by at least 8 inches. Laycool’s music continues to be awesome. Michelle does a knee into the tables to put down Melina for a good while.

Rating: D. This was pretty bad. The ending came out of nowhere but thankfully it ended a bad match. I’m very glad to see that there might be a unification soon, but will anyone care even after that? It’s definitely the right move but with people like Fox chasing it then the whole thing is in trouble. Not a good match.

After a quick recap of the SES vs. Show, we go to this.

Straightedge Society vs. Big Show

How appropriate to have this after that video package. It’s Mercury, Punk and Gallows. Show dominates Mercury and Gallows in about a minute to get us to Punk, who gets face cheers. Oh and Show’s hand is fine. Gallows and Mercury get back up and the 3-1 beatdown begins.

Show comes back of course as it occurs to me that Punk has the most hair of anyone out there. Punk goes for the springboard clothesline and gets caught by the throat. He kicks Show in the head which was cool looking. Cole calls a bulldog a DDT because he’s a stupid man. Punk does a bunch of strikes to the hand and it just ticks Show off. Punk gets knocked to the floor and leaves. Mercury gets chokeslammed and pinned while on top of Gallows. Here lies the SES.

Rating: D+. Pretty weak here as more or less we knew it was just going to be Show winning in the end due to his huge size advantage. This was an ok match and the ending advances the story, but dang man why do they have to crush the SES again? For once could they actually let something go on for more than a month without crippling it?

Kane talks to the casket and Sheamus of all people comes up, saying he’d like to borrow the casket to put Orton in. Kane says no. Sheamus says stay out of his way and Kane yells at him. Odd moment but cool potential.

And here’s Miz. The Raw title match is next so he has a reason to be here. He wants to know if he should be on the team. The fans cheer but he doesn’t care what they think. Allegedly Hart and Cena begged for him to be on the team. He talks about every person on the team and how they’ve all done things to get him on the team. Awesome promo but he wants the fans to admit it. After a HUGE delay, he says yes he’ll be on the team. Cole orgasms loudly.

We recap Orton vs. Sheamus, which isn’t much at all. Orton won a match and now he’s the number one contender. The hype for this has more or less not existed.

Raw World Title: Sheamus vs. Randy Orton

Orton is in purple and Sheamus is in green, making this just freaking weird looking. Sheamus powers him back to start which is odd since he’s kind of quietly powerful. Slow start here which should be a good sign but I’m not sure here. They tease a countout and Orton is dominating which is a weird formula for a match.

This is just boring as they’re going WAY too slow. Orton’s arm gets worked on and the elevated DDT is reversed into a backdrop. Sheamus is in control and not much is going on. He hits basic moves and covers. This is apparently the main event and it started about 5 minutes after 9. He gets technical with a drop toehold to put Orton down.

Sheamus likes to use a double axehandle which is kind of a cool move for him to use. More people should use it. When I say more I mean like one total. Sheamus at least works on the arm which is the right idea if nothing else. Orton gets the backbreaker as this is just DRAGGING. The boo/yay cheers start up for punching. Orton does his usual array of clotheslines as I fight off sleep due to this.

Middle rope suplex gets two for the guy with non-mayonnaise colored skin. Sheamus hits his backbreaker for two which of course Cole is surprised by when the kickout happens. Brogue Kick misses though and Sheamus hits the floor. There’s the DDT but the RKO is countered which surprised me. He shoved him off and it legit looks like he hit it from both angles. Clearly countered though which was cool.

High Cross and RKO are both countered but Orton walks into the Brogue Kick for two as the fans are into this now. That’s the issue with WWE Title matches: you don’t have to get into them for a long time and everyone knows it so for the first ten minutes no one cares. Sheamus gets a chair and shoves the referee out for the CHEAP DQ.

Rating: D+. Oh this was bad. The ending crippled the actually solid last 5 minutes or so as the rest of this was just flat out boring. The slow style of both guys crippled each other and the ending had me shaking my head at how freaking dumb it was. I don’t get this at all as if nothing else have Sheamus get the chair shot and win that way but dang man, this was freaking stupid.

Post match Orton snaps and hits the RKO on the table. Good for him. Table didn’t break so at least it looked good. Sheamus is announced as still champion which should make us wait for either HHH or Miz’s theme music. Naturally we get the Legendary trailer.

We recap the way overdone Rey vs. Kane issue, which comes down to one thing: how would Rey know who did it? This took almost five minutes.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Kane

Kane brings the casket with him. Striker even throws out a quick summary of the Taker/Kane childhood which you NEVER hear anymore. Kane goes right for him and gets kicked in the knee. They talk about the keys to victory and King says that Rey’s potential innocence should help him win. Uh, what? Striker thinks this is speed vs. power. You can’t buy commentary like this people!

Kane takes over and we slow it down again. He gets a baseball slide which is cool looking. Can you imagine Kane playing baseball? That’s just funny for some reason. 619 is blocked and Kane takes his head off with a clothesline. We’re clearly just filling in time until the finish. It’s been mostly Kane here and as soon as I say that Kane goes into the post. Rey hits a flying battering ram move but Kane takes over AGAIN with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, a cool move.

Cole likes to talk about people being in the box. Kane wants the referee to ASK HIM. He’s been chilling with Jericho I guess. Top rope rana is blocked and Rey’s knee might be hurt. Wait wasn’t his ankle hurt on Smackdown? Springboard Splash misses so Rey just kicks Kane in the head. Well that works if nothing else. After more uneventful stuff, the 619 is blocked and Rey gets thrown into the casket.

The casket is closed and you know Taker will be in it soon. Chokeslam is blocked and 619 hits. Rey gets two off a counter to a counter to the springboard splash as the end is clearly near. Chokeslam hits to retain THANK GOODNESS!

Rating: C-. Better than the last match as at least this had an ending. It was still boring but Kane winning clean is a nice perk. You know it’ll wind up being Kane vs. Taker but Kane getting a clean win like this is good for him because he flat out needs them for some credibility. Not horrible but I’ve seen worse.

Post match Kane says he’s going to put Rey in the casket and opens it, showing that it’s empty. Two chokeslams and a tombstone (sick one too) and of course Taker is in the casket. He goes for Rey and asks if he’s heard of an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth? Taker asks him why he did it but Rey insists it wasn’t him. Hand around throat and the throat slit sign but he turns to Kane. Kane breaks Taker’s grip and tombstones him, leaving him laying. These guys are on and off more than all the high school relationships in history. Yep Kane is the heel again.

Ad for Smackdown on Sci-Fi.

Clips of Summerslam Axxess which looks awesome.

Recap of Nexus vs. Cena’s Army. If you don’t know this by now, go read the Raw recaps since I’m sick of this story.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Miz/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

Remember that this is elimination. This should go for a LONG time. New shirt for Cena. Miz comes out last and Cena has something to say. Cena has a replacement, and it’s DANIEL BRYAN. The really weird thing here is that there was an article up on WWE.com where it spoiled this half an hour before it happened. That’s very freaky and I can’t imagine the speech he got because of it.

Nexus vs. R-Truth/Edge/Chris Jericho/Daniel Bryan/John Cena/Bret Hart/John Morrison

BIG brawl to start as Cole runs down Bryan every second because he has to. The official starters are Bryan and Young. This should be quick. Hey I’m right as Bryan gets a crossface and Young is out in like 30 seconds. That evens things out since Hart is more or less worthless. Gabriel and Jericho are in now and don’t expect every tag to be mentioned since it’s going to be very fast paced.

Tarver comes in and throws a lot of punches. Morrison gets a nice pop as the hometown boy. Flash Kick and Starship Pain put Tarver down to make it 7-5. He landed on his back this time so we’ll call that a success. Barrett wants a huddle. Sheffield comes in and boxes with Morrison kind of as Nexus takes over. The fans want Bret as it’s all Sheffield. Morrison makes a comeback but walks into a kick by Gabriel and the clothesline from Sheffield to make it 6-5.

Sheffield hits Truth in like 30 seconds to tie it up. Jericho comes in and gets beaten down. Why do they keep calling them Team WWE? Nexus is in WWE officially right? Jericho vs. Barrett is an interesting match actually. Bret and Slater come in as Cena hasn’t been in yet, which is rather interesting. Bret does basic stuff and gets the Sharpshooter but there’s a chair in. Sheffield gets the tag and Bret pops him with the chair for reasons of basic stupidity. That’s the best way to get rid of him since he can’t take a power move due to his health so there isn’t another way to do it really.

As a recap it’s Cena/Edge/Jericho/Bryan vs. Sheffield/Barrett/Slater/Otunga/Gabriel. Sheffield gets up and walks into the Codebreaker. Spear ties us up at 4. Gabriel gets a SICK spin kick on Edge. The kick itself was just ok but the impact looked great. Barrett and Edge slow us down a bit. Edge gets a spinwheel kick which is one of his old moves. I haven’t seen him use that in forever.

Otunga comes in and is booed out of the building. Edge hits the Edgecution and gets a face pop for it. Not sure whether it’s for Edge or against Otunga but whatever. Edge gets the tag but STILL no Cena. This is certainly compelling. Lionsault hits and Striker says HE HIT IT! Jericho loses the Walls for a bit but Otunga eventually taps to get us to 4-3 Team Cena. Jericho is wrestling like Lionheart here and a BIG Y2J chant starts. I still want a Jericho face title run.

And he runs into Cena, resulting in Slater hitting his Zig Zag for the tie. Cena and Edge both want in and Edge yells while Bryan plays peacemaker. Slater runs Edge into Cena and rolls him up to get Jericho and Edge in less than a minute. Edge and Jericho beat up Cena before leaving. Jericho: YOU’RE A STUPID MAN! Cena/Bryan vs. Slater/Barrett/Gabriel. Cena is finally in now and gets his head kicked in.

Very good match so far as Nexus has looked STRONG. Cena can’t get anything going and Cole will not shut up about Bryan. Gabriel gets a DDT on Cena that looked good. Everyone beats on Cena and as I say that we get a double clothesline. Bryan comes in and cleans house, using a freaking big boot. Striker wants Cattle Mutilation. Where’s PETA when you need them?

Cena is down on the floor which makes me wonder where this is going. Cena as heel vs. Bryan as face? After a lot of GOOD stuff from Bryan he gets Slater to tap. And cue Miz with the briefcase to blast Bryan and make it 2-1 with Barrett/Gabriel vs. Cena. Cena is more or less dead though despite not being beaten down past anything overly special. He goes into the ending sequence though after a missed Gabriel splash in the corner.

FU doesn’t work as Gabriel makes the tag and Nexus takes over again. It’s a massive beatdown here as Cena has NOTHING. The two guys pull the mats on the floor back and Barrett hits a DDT on the exposed concrete. Gabriel gets tagged in and the 450 MISSES! Cena rolls up Gabriel and instantly gets the STFU on Barrett for the TAP AND THE WIN!

Rating: B+. This was very good. They booked it perfectly, including the ending. As I said in the LD, Cena moved, covered, did a drop toehold, laid on Barrett’s back and pulled. THAT’S IT. That’s how he beat them both. He wasn’t doing an FU to both guys after escaping their finishers and hitting 4 shoulder blocks each. He outmoved them and it worked fine. Nexus looked solid out there and the whole thing looked fine. This was a good match and well done. It certainly wasn’t bad and is nowhere near what people are making it out to be. I loved this and it made the show for the most part.

Overall Rating: B. This was a good show, but it’s a kind that would need a footnote. This is the definition of a one match show. I don’t mean one match is great and the rest suck. I mean this was built around one single match and nothing else on the card mattered at all. Other than the 7 on 7 match, what else was hyped at all?

Luckily, that match was very good and hit on all cylinders. The rest of the card is ok, but it could have been better. The Orton/Sheamus ending was just bad. Kane overpowering Taker is interesting as it actually gives us some intrigue. This was a good show overall, powered mainly by the main event’s success. Not worth seeing much other than the main, but that’s expected with a show like this.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

205 Live
Date: July 30, 2019
Location: FedExForum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Aiden English, Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

It’s an interesting change of pace this week with General Manager Drake Maverick fighting Mike Kanellis for the sake of his wife’s honor. The fact that Mike’s wife is the only champion in the whole thing is just confusing. Other than that, we’re still in need of a #1 contender and I’m not sure if they have time to set up anything worthwhile. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of Maverick vs. Kanellis, which has been going on since the spring. Mike’s wife Maria is demanding that he be a man and tonight, Mike is fighting to appease her as well. Why are the wives the most interesting part of this whole thing when they’re not even wrestlers? Anyway Mike finally pushed him too far and Drake is standing up for himself and his wife.

Brian Kendrick/Akira Tozawa vs. Singh Brothers

This is over a stolen Bollywood trophy, which is now awarded to the commentary team. Sunil starts fast and stomps Tozawa down in the corner but he strikes away and smiles, with the mouthpiece offering a nice bonus visual. Kendrick comes in for two off of Tozawa’s backsplash and it’s off to the armbar. A running enziguri/Downward Spiral combination gets two on Sunil but Samir breaks up a suicide headbutt attempt.

The dancing begins and now let’s talk about Charlotte vs. Trish Stratus because the match is that uninteresting. Tozawa fights out of a chinlock but gets hit in the ribs to put him right back down. The chinlock goes on again, only to have Tozawa fight up again. This time it’s an enziguri to Samir and the hot tag brings in Kendrick. A dropkick gives Kendrick two so it’s time to grab the award. Sunil hits Samir by mistake though and it’s Sliced Bread #2 into the top rope backsplash to give Tozawa the pin at 5:49.

Rating: D+. The Singh Brothers continue to be a one note act who overstay their welcome in a hurry. They’re fine in the ring but the dancing has been old for a long time now and they’re not likely to win a major match anytime soon. Hopefully they go away for a bit, or at least until they have someone else to face.

We get the last part of the Humberto Carrillo interview, this time talking about wanting to win the Cruiserweight Title and how awesome the 205 Live roster really is.

Lucha House Party is split on Carrillo, with Lince Dorado thinking a real luchador should wear a mask. Imagine Nigel and Vic’s response should that be the case.

Lince Dorado vs. Ariya Daivari

They trade wristlocks to start with Daivari mocking the LUCHA chants early on. Some early near fall attempts go nowhere but Daivari bails to the floor to avoid the Golden Rewind. That means a delayed dive from Dorado, followed by a springboard splash for two back inside. A running hurricanrana into a dropkick gives Dorado two but Daivari sends him outside in a big crash. The chinlock doesn’t last long back inside and Dorado makes it worse by blocking the Iconoclasm.

Daivari settles for a rather nice snap DDT for two but since he’s a bit of a cocky heel, he spends too much time mocking the Jerry Lawler middle rope punch. Dorado gets a boot up and Daivari heads outside, meaning it’s a slingshot dive. Back in and Dorado tries a very far dive, which is superkicked out of the air for two. The Billion Real Dream (eh good for a chuckle) is countered into a victory roll for two so Daivari hits a Rock Bottom for two of his own. Dorado is right back up and kicks Daivari in the head, setting up a spinning rollup into a jackknife pin at 9:47.

Rating: C+. This was a spotfest match and that made it one of the more entertaining things that they could have done. Then again I’ll always take Daivari’s boringness going away for another week so the upset was a good little bonus. It’s not like pushing Dorado as a singles guy is the worst idea so just see what they can do here.

Drew Gulak wants a challenger at Summerslam and if Mike Kanellis wins tonight, maybe he gets the title shot. Otherwise, Drew is back where he started and that doesn’t work. Whoever faces him at Summerslam is in for pain and punishment.

Drake Maverick vs. Mike Kanellis

Unsanctioned. Drake comes out to the 205 Live theme instead of his own song. Mike jumps him from behind during the entrances and Drake gets sent into the set. More whips send Drake into the barricade and Mike puts a sign in his face for a bonus. Since the bell hasn’t rung yet, Mike thinks that’s enough for a forfeit. Drake gets in and says ring the bell so Mike kicks him into the corner.

Mike shouts about following Drake’s rules for too long before sending him outside again. Another whip into the barricade takes Maverick down again and Mike does it a few more times for good measure. Drake gets sent face first onto the announcers’ table as Mike shouts about 205 being his brand. For a bonus, Drake gets put into a chair and superkicked out of it so Mike can be alone in the ring. A single right hand drops Maverick back inside and a huge clothesline….gets no cover as Kanellis takes Maverick’s belt off.

The whipping is on, followed by a sleeper to bring Maverick back to life (that hold has the worst success rate) and he sends a charging Kanellis to the floor. Another charge lets Kanellis catch Maverick though and it’s a swing into the barricade. Mike still won’t finish it though as he would rather go over and grab the Maria wanted posters off the announcers’ table. One of those goes into Maverick’s mouth but that fires Maverick up again. Maverick slugs and stomps away, setting up a running basement dropkick in the corner.

Now it’s Maverick whipping him with the belt and the suicide dive connects. A DDT onto the announcers’ table drops Kanellis again but the elbow drop from the barricade only hits table. Back in and Mike loads up his swinging neckbreaker but puts Drake on top instead. The super Razor’s Edge is countered into a super hurricanrana, setting up a Dudley Dog for the pin at 12:49.

Rating: C+. I wasn’t sure what to think of this one but the more I think about it, the more I like it. They weren’t hiding what was going to happen in the end but it was entertaining on the way there. Maverick shouldn’t be wrestling all the time because he’s small even by 205 Live standards, but using him sparingly is fine as he has a ton of charisma and can go well in the ring. It told a nice story, as Kanellis’ career continues to die more and more.

Overall Rating: C. This was a storyline heavy show but it didn’t have the Cruiserweight Title stuff, which is on a much bigger time crunch. I’d assume that we’re going to get Oney Lorcan winning a big multi man match next week, but it would have been nice to set that up earlier. Either way, the show wasn’t that bad, but they need to set up the title match already, even if it isn’t likely to mean anything.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Major League Wrestling

Fusion #68
Date: July 27, 2019
Location: Cicero Stadium, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Rich Bocchini, Jim Cornette

We’re getting closer to the end of the summer and that means things are getting a little better around here. Things have been that much more interesting over the last few months and the shows have been getting better as a result. This week’s main event is Contra vs. the Von Erichs in an unsanctioned match, which could go several different ways. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Salina de la Renta to rant about Mance Warner being annoying, though he did get rid of Sami Callihan for her. Tonight though she has someone from the firey pits to deal with Warner.

Bestia 666 vs. Mance Warner

Death match. Bestia isn’t waiting around and suicide dives onto Mance to get things going before the bell. Warner pelts a chair at him and rips at Bestia’s face before fishooking his mouth with a turnbuckle. As in the hook from a buckle, which just happened to be at ringside. Bestia is back with a whip into a barricade and grabs the kendo stick to blast Warner over the back.

Warner headbutts his way out again and tries a chop, which hits the post at full force to make me cringe again. The hand is fine enough for a DDT onto the apron, which is the closest they’ve gotten to being in the ring. Warner pulls out some weapons, including some chairs, a board and of course thumb tacks. The tacks go onto the chair but Bestia sends Warner face first into them instead. They FINALLY get in the ring with Bestia putting a trashcan over Warner and blasting him with a chair. A trashcan to the head gets two with Cornette saying it shouldn’t count because it’s under a rope. Dude, come on now.

Warner is back with a spear through the board in the corner for two and it’s time to slap it out. A pop up headbutt rocks Bestia and it’s a piece of board to the head for a delayed two. Warner’s running knee gets two but Salina slips Bestia a red bag. Bestia gets tied into a chair but Warner spends too much time yelling at Salina, allowing Bestia to throw powder into his face. A MuscleBuster through a chair finish Warner at about 10:00 (I didn’t hear an opening bell).

Rating: C. This is one where your individual taste is going to vary as I’m not big on hardcore for the sake of hardcore. It didn’t go too far that it’s ridiculous, but Warner losing again isn’t the best idea if he’s going to be the one to go after Salina and company. I know it’s his signature thing, but they do these brawls a little too often and I’m getting numb to them.

Salina has the Golden Ticket back.

Opening sequence.

We see Georgia Hart and Alexander Hammerstone seeming to get rather close in an elevator. Oh dear.

The Dynasty dodges questions about Georgia and brags about how awesome they are.

MLW is going to have a working relationship with Pro Wrestling Noah. Fine enough.

Contra doesn’t want the fans throwing things at them again or they’ll hurt the Von Erichs even more.

Ricky Martinez vs. Low Ki

Salina is here with Ricky and has changed her clothes in the five minutes she has been gone. Konnan is on commentary. Martinez throws a jacket in Ki’s face and dropkicks his knee out to start things off in a hurry. An elbow in the corner keeps Martinez in control as Konnan talks about what he’s found in Salina’s phone.

Ki hits a palm strike for a breather and the Liger Kick knocks Martinez out of the air for a cool visual. Martinez manages to send him into the buckle and a middle rope Codebreaker gets two. Hold on though as Salina goes after her phone with the distraction letting Ki grab the dragon sleeper for the knockout win at 4:13.

Rating: C-. This was very hard hitting while it lasted but I’m having some trouble caring about Konnan vs. Salina as it has been going on for months now. The phone deal is at least something fresh instead of having the same stuff over and over again. Ki has surprised me as well as he has gone from someone I never cared for to someone solid in his role.

Post match Salina seems to offer Ki a spot back on the team but he walks away.

The Von Erichs are ready to bring Contra to justice, Texas style. Oh good grief.

Kotto Brazil is tired of all the interference around here, just like Myron Reed and Jordan Oliver. They say JUSTICE over and over.

Tom Lawlor’s life has been a nightmare lately but he loves the fighting. He wants his World Title back though and is getting his rematch at Never Say Never. That’s not enough though as he and the Von Erichs are coming for Contra in the War Chamber (seems to be WarGames).

We recap the Georgia Smith/Alexander Hammerstone deal.

The Hart Foundation sees the video for the first time and aren’t happy.

Contra Unit vs. Von Erichs

It’s Samael and Gotch for Contra here. The Von Erichs waste no time and go straight for the Claws but get thrown off in a hurry. Gotch dragon screw leg whips Ross as Marshall sends Samael into the barricade. Ross’ knee is fine enough to be sent into the ropes so Gotch can knee him in the ribs. What looks like a crossface chickenwing keeps Ross in trouble and it’s Samael and Marshall getting back inside.

Ross fights back to save his brother from the double teaming but gets sent outside again. That means Marshall gets to make the Texas comeback this time and it’s a double dropkick to Gotch. Marshall hits a moonsault for two with Gotch making a save. Samael and Marshall clothesline each other as Ross has a chair. As luck would have it, Samael busts out the fireball but Ross uses the chair to block it. A chair to the head gives Marshall the pin on Samael at 6:24.

Rating: C+. The action was better here and the wild brawl felt more appropriate here, mainly because it was different from the way the opener went. The Von Erichs are a nice addition to the roster and while they have a long way to go, they’re getting the ring time that they need here. Nice match too.

Post match Contra goes after the Von Erichs again and the riot squad comes out to break things up. The Von Erichs want to keep fighting and we cut to the back where Jacob Fatu is beating up the squad. Tom Lawlor comes in for the fight for a hot ending to the show.

Overall Rating: C. This show got better after the main event but it wasn’t their best effort overall. The problem here was having too much brawling on one show, which tends to be a problem around here. What did work though was the storytelling, as they’re coming up with some creative enough ways to keep things moving without feeling tired. That helps so much and it did so here. Just keep it up and give us the big payoffs, which they tend to do well enough. This wasn’t their best show, but it’s still an easy hour to watch.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

Not a lot has changed in the last year other than some names have risen up the card. Jeff Hardy is the Smackdown Champion and is defending tonight against the on fire CM Punk who is now a heel, bragging about how great he is due to being straightedge. We also have Orton vs. Cena #875 although only their second match here at Summerslam. It’s a decent looking card on paper so let’s get to it.

The opening video is set up like a movie theater, but DX takes it over by making shadow puppets on the screen. Shawn wins by putting up Abraham Lincoln. They finally break the projector but Shawn says he can fix it. He turns it into a DX highlight video but breaks the camera one more time.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

Rey is defending after a long but awesome feud with Jericho. Ziggler pounds him down into the corner before getting two off a powerslam. Dolph throws him over his shoulders to the top but Rey bounces off with a moonsault press for two. Out to the floor and a cameraman is taken out via I think a hurricanrana. Back in and Ziggler catches (kind of) a rana off the top in a buckle bomb for two to take over.

We hit the chinlock before Dolph gets two off a side slam. The jumping elbow gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Rey drop toeholds him into the corner before, only to have his head taken off by a clothesline for another near fall. A fireman’s carry gutbuster gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Rey fights up again and hits a hard kick to the head for a near fall of his own. Dolph comes back with a dropkick to take down a flying Mysterio for two more as these covers are getting very hot.

Back up and Rey tries to roll up Ziggler’s body into a sunset flip but Ziggler falls onto him for two. A wicked clothesline gets two more for the challenger but Rey kicks him into 619 position, only to have Ziggler drop to the floor. Back in and the Fameasser gets two for Dolph but Rey gets the same off a sunset flip.

Rey hits a kind of tornado DDT for two more and an armdrag sets up the 619 but Ziggler avoids the springboard splash. Ziggler gets a quick near fall off the miss and the fans are split on who to cheer for. A kick to Rey’s head sends him to the apron so Ziggler loads up a top rope gutbuster, only to have Rey counter into a hurricanrana in mid air to retain the title.

Rating: B+. Excellent opener here with Ziggler being able to go move for move with one of the best high fliers of all time. It was clear that Dolph was going to be a big deal and this was a great example of why. Rey was on fire at this point but he would be derailed by a Wellness violation a few weeks later, forcing him to drop the title to John Morrison.

Jack Swagger and MVP are in the back. Swagger says his match with MVP tonight is a culture clash between the All American American and an ex-con. MVP is nothing but a stepping stone but MVP says he made some bad decisions. Tonight he’s teaching Swagger a lesson and the teacher is an MVP.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

MVP jumps over Swagger in the corner and hits a quick clothesline for two to start. Swagger rolls to the floor to avoid the Ballin Elbow, only to be caught by a suicide dive. Back in and Swagger gets in some shots to the ribs to take over followed by a forearm to the back. MVP counters another shot with an elbow to the face, only to get caught in an abdominal stretch.

A hard clothesline puts MVP down for two and it’s off to a camel clutch. MVP stands up and breaks the hold with an electric chair for two. This is really basic stuff and the fans aren’t all that thrilled. Back up and MVP pops him in the jaw with a right hand, setting up the Ballin Elbow for two. A big boot in the corner sets up the Playmaker for the pin on Swagger.

Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it was very dull. Neither guy did anything special out there and it was about six minutes of boring, yet acceptable, wrestling. Swagger would go on to a world title the following year for reasons no one can quite fathom while MVP would do nothing of note for the rest of his WWE run.

Luke Perry is here.

Video on celebrities guest hosting Raw. Did we really have to relive this stupid idea?

Nancy O’Dell from Access Hollywood is here to talk about her ALS charity. No one cares. At all. She interviews Freddy Prinze Jr., one of the recent guest hosts. O’Dell sounds like any other celebrity who has never watched a wrestling show before.

Tag Titles: Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Jericho and Show (I can’t stand those combined names) are defending and the belts are unified at this point, meaning the champions have two belts apiece. Jericho says he and Show are the real celebrities here tonight and that’s about it. JTG (how is he still employed in 2013? Seriously, I want an answer to that) starts against Jericho and a nice flip neckbreaker gets two on Chris. A quick Walls attempt is countered and JTG hits a middle rope leg lariat for two.

Todd Grisham: “They bring the right kind of flava eh JR?” JR: “Flava? Like barbecue or cheddar?” Off to Big Show who knocks JTG into the corner and puts on a hard headlock. JTG gets up a pair of boots in the corner before bringing in the much bigger Shad Gaspard. Jericho charges in but gets caught in a gorilla press. The distraction is enough to let Show run Shad over to take control again. A hard chop in the corner puts Shad down and it’s back to the Canadian.

Shad gets in a jawbreaker but Jericho is smart enough to knock JTG to the floor before there’s a hot tag. Show puts on a full nelson but throws Gaspard down to bring Jericho back in. We hit the chinlock before Shad fights up and hits a powerslam to put both guys down. The hot tag brings in JTG but the fans don’t care at all. Everything breaks down and a clothesline sends Shad and Show to the floor. JTG is put in the Walls but makes the rope, only to be knocked out by Big Show to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I don’t think anyone believed the titles were in jeopardy. Cryme Tyme was a fun team (on occasion) but most of the time they were jobbers to the stars. Jericho and Big Show at least gave the tag titles some fresh life for a few months so I can’t complain about them all that much. The match was standard stuff though.

Punk has a screenplay called the Jeff Hardy Story. In the movie, Jeff survives and beats Punk tonight in the TLC match. That’s as phony as everyone here in LA, where the only real person is Punk himself. Punk goes on a rant against America’s obsession with cool pop culture and says no one makes movies about him because he doesn’t support the Hollywood lifestyle. Punk is FEELING IT here.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Here’s a Wrestlemania rematch that no one was asking for. Kane is the heel here and has attacked Khali’s brother a few times before this. Khali shoves him into the corner to start and throws Kane out to the floor. Back in and Khali clotheslines him down but misses a legdrop, allowing Kane to hit a low dropkick for two. Both guys break up chokeslams and Khali takes over again.

He pounds Kane on the mat for two and hits a hard chop in the corner. Khali charges (and I use that word loosely) into a boot in the corner, allowing Kane to hit the top rope clothesline for two. We hit the chinlock before Khali makes a slow motion comeback and chops Kane down for two. Kane pulls Runjin Singh (Khali’s brother) in and the distraction lets Kane dropkick Khali’s knee. A bad looking DDT is enough for Kane to get the pin.

Rating: D-. Erg why do they keep doing these battles of the giants when they know they’re going to suck? Khali was getting so slow at this point and it was easy to see where the insults about his abilities were coming from. Kane would float around for most of the next year until he saved Undertaker and won the world title as a result.

Slash, Robert Patrick and Maria Menunos are here.

We recap DX vs. Legacy. Rhodes and DiBiase had been destroying HHH for months so he made a call to Shawn. HHH then had to get Shawn out of his job as a short order cook (don’t ask) and tonight is the big reunion match against Legacy.

Legacy vs. D-Generation X

DX comes in on a tank, trailing behind a bunch of soldiers on an Army jeep. Ok points for an AWESOME entrance. HHH starts with DiBiase as Ted fires off right hands in the corner. They have even less effect than you would expect so HHH suplexes him down and drops a knee for two. Off to Cody who walks into the high knee to the face from the Game and slaps Shawn as a result. Shawn gets the tag to a big pop but gets slapped again after running the ropes a bit.

Fed up, Shawn tackles Cody down but gets pounded in the face a few more times. Shawn comes back with a Thesz Press and right hands to another big reaction. The Band is tuned up but Cody bails to the floor and comes back in to a headlock. A belly to back suplex puts Shawn down and it’s off to DiBiase to keep up the punching motif. Ted slams him down to stay on Shawn’s back but Michaels gets a quick neckbreaker for a breather.

The hot tag brings in HHH to clean part of the house but Cody breaks up a Pedigree attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH backdrops Michaels over the top and onto Cody. Ted gets in a cheap shot on HHH to take over, meaning we’re in for a long one here. Legacy takes over o the Game in the corner and the double teaming begins. DiBiase hooks a long chinlock, but HHH keeps fighting to get to Shawn. See how easily that can be done? Instead of just laying on the mat until it was time for the comeback, HHH is constantly moving and trying to keep the fans alive. That’s such a lost art and it’s rather sad.

Anyway HHH suplexes out of the hold but Cody comes in with a DDT to stop the tag to Michaels. Off to a front facelock and of course this time HHH lays on the mat after I praised him for one of the few times after the year 2000. HHH powers out of the hold but DiBiase breaks up another hot tag. You know HHH isn’t going to stand for that for very long so he launches Ted over the top and out to the floor and finally makes the tag to Shawn.

House is really cleaned now with Shawn picking Rhodes apart. The atomic drop sets up the flying forearm but DiBiase breaks up the nipup attempt. Everything breaks down and HHH sends DiBiase into the stands as Cody goes up, only to miss a top rope elbow. Shawn loads up his own elbow but gets crotched down onto the buckle. He can still block a superplex though and now the elbow launches, only to hit Cody’s knee. Shouldn’t that hurt the leg a lot more than Shawn?

There’s no DiBiase to tag so Shawn gets up and puts on a Figure Four, only to have DiBiase make the save. HHH can’t hit a Pedigree as Cody takes him down and actually hits Cross Rhodes on Shawn for two. Now a Pedigree connects on Cody but DiBiase hits Dream Street (cobra clutch slam) on Shaw. HHH and Ted fight on the floor as both guys are down in the ring. Both guys get up at the same time and it’s Sweet Chin Music to knock Cody senseless for the collapsing pin from Shawn.

Rating: B+. Another excellent match here with all four guys working the tag team formula to perfection. Shawn continues to be able to time a comeback like no one ever could and HHH was clicking tonight. Legacy looked great and would actually beat DX in the next month’s match. I was surprised by how well the rookies looked here and DX actually had to sweat a bit here. I wouldn’t say they were in jeopardy but it wasn’t an easy win by any stretch.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Christian is defending. Remember Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry going 32 seconds last week? This is a quarter of that as Christian grabs the Killswitch as Regal is taking his robe off for the pin to retain.

Post match Regal’s heavies Vladimir Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson lay out Christian so Regal can put on the Regal Stretch.

Video on the Summerslam festivities in Los Angeles.

We recap Orton vs. Cena. Orton has dominated the year and Cena is the latest guy to try to take the title. Not much here but do these two really need a backstory?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Orton is defending. Cena takes him down with a front facelock but Orton counters into a hammerlock. Randy takes him into the corner and kicks at the ribs a bit, cuing a Cena comeback with rights and lefts. Orton comes back with an elbow to the face and his VERY slow stomping. This is the main criticism of Orton around this time: he wrestled in slow motion and it makes for very dull matches. The big knee drop to the chest gets two.

Cena comes back with some right hands but walks into the backbreaker for two. We hit the chinlock and the dueling chants begin. Cena finally powers up and initiates his finishing sequence. The Shuffle connects but Orton escapes the FU into the powerslam (NOT A SCOOP SLAM COLE, YOU STUPID STUPID MAN!) for two. Orton misses a knee drop but Cena’s shoulder block only hits air, sending him out to the floor. The Elevated DDT is good for two as Orton keeps things slow.

Cena gets in another shot and pops up top for the Fameasser, good for two. Orton grabs the ropes to block the FU and a double clothesline puts them both down. They slug it out with Cena taking over and speeding things up, but Orton shoves the referee for the LAME DQ. To be fair though it was the first fast paced thing he did all match.

Lillian, Rhodes Scholar that she is, calls Cena the new champion before saying Vince gave her word that the match restarts and if Orton gets DQ’d again he loses the title. This would be an entirely pointless bit that stopped the match cold. Back in and Orton takes over before whipping Cena into the steps. Orton slams him down and goes to get the title and walk out. We get the same announcement and the match continues again.

Back in and the STF, RKO and FU are all countered and Orton grabs a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin. As you might expect, we’re STILL not done as a second referee comes out and tells the first what happened. So on the third restart Cena puts on the STF but a “fan” runs in for a distraction, stopping things cold again. Cena walks around with his hands on his hips but Orton comes in and hits an RKO to retain the title. For real this time.

Rating: D. On top of the INSANE overbooking, the match was really boring with Orton being his usual slow self. These two would feud forever and trade the title back and forth. The matches would get better but people were sick of seeing them fight at the end. This match was a great example of how overthinking can screw up a match. Brett DiBiase was the fan but that was never acknowledged on TV and I don’t think it was ever addressed again.

We recap the main event. This is a pure culture clash with Jeff Hardy being the free spirit and Punk being the serious straightedge guy who lives a very strict life. Punk cashed in MITB against Hardy at Extreme Rules but Jeff won the title back two months later. This gets the music video treatment with a song featuring lyrics of “I don’t want to be like you.” Nice touch.

Smackdown World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk

TLC match here. They fight over a lockup to start until Punk takes him into the corner for some knees to the chest. He stomps Hardy down and throws him to the floor before grabbing the first chair. A shot to the ribs and back allows Punk to go up but Hardy makes a quick save. Hardy stomps him down in the corner and hits the slingshot dropkick before going up. This time it’s Punk making the save but Hardy sends him into the ladder to put both guys down.

Back up and Hardy loads up Poetry in Motion but Punk drops him onto the open chair to take over. A series of ladder shots to the back have Hardy in big trouble. Punk sends him to the floor and hits a suicide dive but misses a chair shot. Hardy sends him into the post and gets in a chair shot to the elbow to take over. This is a slower paced match so far which is usually the best way to go about TLC matches. Now Poetry In Motion hits against the barricade and Punk is in trouble.

Hardy puts him on a table but Punk moves before Hardy can splash him through it, sending Hardy down in a big crash. We get another ladder in the ring as JR calls this a carcinogenic match. Punk goes up but Jeff literally jumps over him to go after it himself, only to get caught in an electric chair, only to counter that into a sunset bomb to put both guys down. The champion goes up first but Punk shoves him onto the corner in a SCARY landing with Jeff’s leg hitting the rope.

Punk says on him with a superplex onto the ladder in another cringe inducing landing. Somehow Jeff snaps off a quick Twist of Fate but the Swanton hits knees. Punk hits the running knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered by Hardy throwing Punk over the top and through a table. Jeff starts to climb but Punk is back up to dropkick Hardy off the ladder. They head outside with Punk’s knees being sent into the steps, allowing Hardy to go NUTS on Punk with a chair.

Hardy loads up a table next to the ring and this Punk in the head with part of the announce table and a monitor. A chair shot puts Punk down again as Hardy is in full control. Jeff sets up the big ladder and hits an INSANE Swanton Bomb through Punk through the announce table. That looked NUTS but the crash was great. Both guys are checked on as the stretcher is brought out. Hardy is taken out but Punk is crawling towards the ladder. Jeff gets off the stretcher and goes after Punk, only to be kicked off the ladder in another big crash, giving Punk the title.

Rating: A-. This was an excellent war with a great story being told: Punk played it safe while Hardy lived for the moment and lost the title as a result. The Swanton spot looked amazing and it was the last straw for Hardy as he just couldn’t keep getting up from all these crashes. Awesome match here and a great bit of storytelling.

Punk stands over Hardy with the title in the air and the lights go off. A gong strikes and the lights come up with Undertaker in Hardy’s place. He hits a huge chokeslam on Punk and poses on the stage to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. There’s some bad stuff on here but the good stuff far outweighs it. Its biggest problem is the Orton vs. Cena match which was slow and dull leading up to the STUPID ending. The other big matches delivered though and the opener is excellent. The show is worth watching, but pop in the Cena vs. Orton match from Breaking Point instead. Good show here that could have been a classic with a better Raw Title match.

Ratings Comparison

Dolph Ziggler vs. Rey Mysterio

Original: A-

Redo: B+

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

Original: C

Redo: D

Chris Jericho/Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Kane vs. Great Khali

Original: D+

Redo: D-

D-Generation X vs. Legacy

Original: A

Redo: B+

William Regal vs. Christian

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B-

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: A

Redo: A-

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: B

The Cena vs. Orton match carries or sinks this show depending on how you look at it.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/12/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2009-punk-in-another-main-event-3/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2009
Date: August 23, 2009
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 17,129
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker, Josh Matthews

With another year under our belts since the previous Summerslam, our main feuds are Cena and Orton and Punk (woo!) and Hardy. As many of you may likely know, this very well could be Hardy’s last match with the company. Our other big deal is the return (again) of DX, this time facing Legacy.

While a lot of people have criticized this, the segment that they had on Raw was excellent in my eyes. Shawn is a guy that can just come from nowhere and have a great match. The card actually looks pretty freaking sweet tonight. That doesn’t mean it’ll be good, but let’s get to this.

I liked the Summerslam logo this year. It looked a bit old school. The intro is hijacked by DX doing shadow puppets, but they freeze it on Legacy. Apparently this was the kiss cam and Cody loves Ted. Ted says ditto. So he loves himself I guess?

Anyway, they have some shenanigans going on which are kind of funny. I like the DX comedy sometimes. It’s not going to be the 90s version, so why compare it to that? It was fairly funny, involving DX breaking the feed of the intro and Shawn trying to fix it. It’s better than it sounds.

JR does the opening alone. That’s just odd. I like Aerosmith though so I’m not complaining about the music. As has become the custom, no buildup for the first match.

Intercontinental Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler

I’m quite surprised this is opening. This is a rematch from NOC as well, which allegedly was brought on by Rey simply whining about not having a long enough reign yet. Based on that, I think the title change is coming here but odder things have happened before. They had a great match last month so I’m assuming this will be good too. Ziggler is growing on me, but I have a hard time getting on Kerwin White.

Rey comes out first. Why? He’s the champion. Now we get Grisham to talk so that’s an improvement I guess. I like the purple and gold on him. It’s almost reminiscent of his WCW days but not quite. I miss the big semi-circle video screen that they used to have for Summerslam. Ross forgot Ziggler’s first name. How dare he forget the real name of Ivan Drago? Ziggler’s music is awesome. How did Kerwin White actually keep a job this long?

Just goes to show you that you can’t make fun of wrestlers when they have horrible gimmicks. Other than Santino of course. He will always suck. The graphic of the belt looks very cool for some reason. Wow the IC belt is actually opening the show. That’s an odd thing to think of. Ziggler is freaking ripped. I’m getting close, dangerously close actually, to liking this guy.

Love that quick powerslam that’s done coming off of the ropes. It just looks awesome. Ok, that moonsault was SWEET. Rey doesn’t do his old style often, but when he does it’s freaking amazing. Ziggler has leopard print gloves. That’s either really stupid or really awesome. That was a pretty weak corner powerbomb. I guess Rey’s size makes up for it. This has been pretty hard hitting so far. What more can you ask for?

Apparently Rey makes a habit out of getting people in the corner and drop toe holding them. Yeah I’ve never seen him do that in the corner either. Thank you JR. Dolph just kills him with a clothesline afterwards. That looked awesome. He used a Stinger Splash. He has to be cool. Sick looking head bump on the post from it too. Rey goes for a springboard reverse crossbody but Dolph hits a perfect dropkick to the ribs. That was sweet.

This is a very good match. And there it is. We have our stupid way to get into position for the 619. My only criticism of Dolph is his offense is a bit basic. If he upgrades that he’ll be very good. He’s rocking the bad Mr. Perfect haircut though, so I’m not wild about that either. I kind of like the white ropes, but I’m not sure.

Ziggler finally avoids the springboard splash in the most basic way of all: he sits up. Why is that so complicated for some people? The fans are chanting for Ziggler here, which is surprising but also good I guess. Rey gets a hurricanrana from the top to win and keep the title in a very good match.

Rating: A-. This was a GREAT opener. It was fast paced, it was solid, and the face won. I’m hyped for the rest of the show and it’s 330 in the morning. That’s exactly what an opening match is supposed to be. See how effective the IC belt can be when it’s not being used in bad comedy angles? Ziggler looks awesome here which is all you can ask for. See what they do on Smackdown? They have the veterans make the young guys look good. That’s how you keep the future going people.

Josh is in the back with Swagger and MVP who say that tonight there’s a culture clash. Both are solid on the mic here, but Swagger impresses me a lot more. He’s got the heel character down to a T and the cockiness is perfect. MVP is good, but not as good. Also, he talks about how Swagger has this great background and was a rich kid. Ok, that’s fine, but he still won with athleticism in the NCAA. Swagger won this promo war with ease and he’s making the DDP two time two time thing better.

King and Lawler say nothing of importance.

Jack Swagger vs. MVP

My goodness…could it be? I mean, it’s impossible isn’t it? This couldn’t be…a regular non-title midcard match? I…I think it is! Now, can you find anyone that actually thinks MVP has a chance? His face turn has been a complete disaster as he’s just cut out to be the cocky heel. Go back to it already. After those promos, I’m looking forward to this. The opening 25 minutes to this has been pretty sweet so far.

MVP goes for the Ballin Elbow about 19 seconds into this, but because it takes longer than that to set it up, it doesn’t work. I don’t get why these two are having this match anyway, since Swagger pinned him clean already on Raw. This is a very slow paced match and the fans aren’t liking it that much. They’re way behind the face though as he’s in the Monsoon Special, which I’m sure Gorilla would find something wrong with.

Looking at it, it is pretty sloppy. Sick clothesline stops MVP’s comeback though. Into a half camel clutch which wouldn’t actually hurt but now it’s full. At least Swagger knows how to hurt people. Ok, Swagger gets knocked down and MVP sets up for the Ballin Elbow. I timed him on this: SIXTEEN SECONDS from the time that he got in position to the time it connected. That’s over 5 pins. Seriously, could you not just cover the guy in that amount of time?

They fight a bit more…and MVP wins clean with the playmaker? What the heck? MVP actually won this thing and he did it clean. How in the world did that happen? I’m genuinely surprised by that, and I don’t think it’s in a good way. AGAIN they mention the chick from The View. WE GET IT!

Rating: C. This was fine, but short and surprising. It certainly wasn’t bad, but at just 6 and a half minutes they didn’t have the time to get anything going. There were some bad spots in there too where it was just flat out boring, but luckily they were quick. Again, not bad, but it’s really nothing special. It felt like a Raw match.

Don’t try this at home. Good advice actually.

Luke Perry is here. I don’t care.

We get a recap of the guest hosting thing, which I think has gone well. ZZ Top was awful but other than that, I think it’s gone well. I still want to murder Dr. Ken though. It’s worked for one simple reason in my eyes: for the most part, they’ve gotten people that either have a ton of charisma or seem like legit WWE fans. That’s all you can ask for really.

Nancy O’Dell reads off a script about her charity. Yeah that’s fine. It’s for ALS, aka Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She talks to people like Freddie Prinze Jr…and that’s it. She’s apparently going to host Raw in the future. I’ll be reading something that night. She’s very annoying.

Tag Titles: Big Show/Jericho vs. Cryme Tyme

Speaking of annoying, I don’t like the champion’s new music. This has actually been built up pretty well I’d think, with Show being the partner to replace Edge when he got hurt. It seemed to me that was a last second decision, but whatever. Cryme Tyme is one of the oddest teams I can ever remember. They’ve never actually done anything, so maybe they will here. I’m not holding my breath though.

Actually, this match has gotten the third most build, which isn’t what I expected. However, I’m certainly glad to see a tag title match getting this kind of TV time. It’s what the belts really need. Again the champions come out first. Jericho runs down celebrities in general. Isn’t he a celebrity as well? Oh apparently he’s a superstar, which isn’t a celebrity. That…doesn’t make a lot of sense.

For the second time in 2 minutes we hear that they have over 40 titles between them. Show looks like he’s losing a bit of weight. That’s a good thing. Cryme Tyme interrupts Show’s promo. Remember what I said about the show being good so far? They just ruined it. They’re just freaking annoying to say the least. What have they ever actually accomplished? Oh yeah they got fired for being annoying.

JR makes another reference that no one gets. There’s no way that the faces are winning here, due to reasons of suck, but maybe at least we can get a decent match out of it. Yeah that’s not going to happen I don’t think. Jericho goes for the walls but instead goes for a slingshot. JTG just kind of jumps on him, which looks sloppy and stupid as usual. Grisham says that they’re trying to turn Hollywood into Holly-hood. Take me now.

JTG has to stay in there longer than he should simply because Shad sucks. He’s a beast as far as his look goes though, and he’s able to stand up to Show in the size department. Yeah he’s a lot better on defense. Show is freaking scary to say the least. Jericho whispers a spot to Shad which looks really bad. It’s never good when it’s on a major PPV and a veteran has to carry a team that’s been around as long as Cryme Tyme has been.

I think that’s my real issue with them: they’ve been around for a good few years and they just never get any better. The full nelson is applied, and of course we have the eternal question: WHO WAS NELSON? Maybe Babyface Nelson? Anybody? Anybody? I’ll be here all night. Jericho puts another hold on him, which makes sense because it’s really all Shad can do: get put in holds and sit there. It’s a scary thing when JTG is the bright spot of the team. Yeah this team is awful.

Jericho gets him in the Walls, and amazingly, he doesn’t tap. Seriously, can they bury this move any more than they already have? It’s just stupid how it doesn’t work on anyone at all anymore. When’s the last time someone tapped to it? Anyway, Show hits the punch for the knockout and Jericho gets the glory.

I’m really starting to like this team dynamic as Jericho does all the talking but Show wins the matches for them. At the very end of the segment, Ross mentions Big Show is undefeated at Summerslam. See, that is an interesting stat, and it would have been a lot more interesting at the beginning of the match.

Rating: D+. Yeah this was boring. Shad is just flat out awful, and JTG is just ok. The only reason they get over is their gimmick and nothing more. That’s just flat out boring in all aspects and nothing good comes of it. I can’t stand them and there was just nothing they could do here to make this interesting at all.

Ad for Breaking Point. Interesting concept, but I’m not sold on it. The main events only thing makes me feel better though.

Josh is with Punk who says a movie script he found called the Jeff Hardy story. He runs down LA and the lifestyle there and elsewhere, which yet again, rings amazingly true on so many levels. Every single thing that Punk has said in his promos has been true, and it’s amazing to say the least.

Kane vs. Great Khali

Again, no transition at all. I like Kane’s music here. Once Kane is in the ring, we actually get a long recap, which could have gone…I don’t know, before his entrance so it’s not him just standing there in the ring? This is an intriguing match to me as they’ve had a fairly long build with no official match. That’s a nice plus for a change as it gives this a bit more of a build. Now, if they manage to have a passable match, then we have proof that HBK/God vs. the McMahons was indeed a tag team match.

The reveal of Singh as Khali’s brother was pretty boring but it gives it a bit of a reason for being around Khali so much. Hopefully, this will be short and painless, but I’m not betting on that. JR mentions that Kane is on a four match winning streak at Summerslam. See? That’s another interesting stat and it makes you wonder if he can extend it here tonight. It’s small, but it adds a tiny bit more to the match and might get people more interested in it.

That’s what a commentator is supposed to do: offer insight. When you watch a DVD and listen to a special commentary, you’re listening for insights, maybe some numbers or stories that you wouldn’t know otherwise. That’s what wrestling commentators are supposed to do, but it so rarely happens which is a shame. JR says it’s a bowling shoe match, meaning we’re sorry that this is going to suck so badly.

A lot of this is just Khali showing off how strong he is, which is fine I guess, but I’d like more action. Khali misses a bad looking legdrop and then just sits there. He doesn’t sell anything or anything like that, but just sits there for the low dropkick. Kane apparently sees evil and likes it. I guess that’s why See No Evil sucked: Kane just wasn’t motivated. They fight over their respective chokeslams but that goes nowhere. Oh this is bad. It’s just so freaking sloppy.

To be fair though, what do you expect from two monsters like these? Khali with a sick sounding chop. The top rope clothesline puts Khali down and gets two. He doesn’t really kick out but it’s implied his shoulder was up. JR brings up an interesting point: if Khali quit in his language, would the referee understand it? Amazingly, the Khali chop isn’t enough for a pin. Geez Khali’s hands are freaking massive.

Kane hits a running dropkick to the knee and a running DDT for the win. That finish was kind of awesome actually. I love that Kane didn’t use a bad chokeslam to win it. That’s what I want to see more of in the WWE today: wrestlers winning with moves other than their finishers. It’s not really that hard to do and it works very well I think. Do it more often.

Rating: D+. Oy this was bad indeed. It was very sloppy, but the ending made it a lot better. Also, it was less than 6 minutes. See, that’s intelligent booking. You know these two aren’t going to have a great match, so keep it short. That makes a lot of sense and it made things a lot better than they could have been.

Some hot woman from a talk show is here. Slash is here too, so it’s closer to making me care. Robert Patrick is here.

We hit the recap button on DX vs. Legacy. This one is pretty short. HHH kept getting his head kicked in by them so he said he’d make one phone call. It wound up being about three but he eventually found Shawn as a cook in a diner in San Antonio, in what I thought was a very funny segment. This was followed up by Legacy actually beating them down in a run in on Raw a few days prior to this which at least made this look possible.

Oddly, the stuff about him being a cook is completely omitted from the recap video. What we do get though is a bunch of clips from some of their old exploits which have absolutely nothing to do with this feud or match. For some reason people were hoping that X-Pac or someone like that would return. People, the old DX is dead. All you’re going to get is these two buffoons, so be happy with it and let go of the past already.

Also, this really isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. They’re going to have decent matches and it’s going to help Legacy look legit if they win a single match, which is a good thing. DX can do whatever they like out there and they’re going to get cheered. What else can you ask for out of them really? It’s HHH against someone not named Orton. Be happy.

DX vs. Legacy

Now this is for some reason considered one of the main events. Why? What makes this one of the big matches? Yes, Shawn is back, but when HHH returned against Booker in 2007 it was a midcard match and that was fine. I get that it’s the third biggest match by default, but that doesn’t mean it should be. I’d put the tag titles above this as they’ve had far more build, but whatever. Anyway, let’s get to this.

Ok, I’ve heard great things about the DX intro, and I’ll admit, it was awesome. Basically, it’s an army theme with a bunch of troops coming out in a jeep and firing off guns. Then the stage splits apart and DX comes out on a tank, launching of a bunch of fireworks. The fans are WAY into it and it’s cool. Everything is loud and big here and the crowd is screaming. That’s what you’re looking for here. The fans are the most important thing at the end of the day and they’re loving this.

Screw the people that think the return of DX was stupid. It’s cool and it’s working. The glow sticks are a cool idea too and I’m surprised it took this long for them to be invented. It takes about 5 minutes, but so what? The reaction was awesome, so rock on. Legacy is the evil opponent here, but they have some sweet music. It’s not as great as their 39th song, but it’s better than theme 341B. The announcers point out that this is a huge chance for Legacy and they’re absolutely right.

DX is a team of two hall of fame members, and Legacy are young guys. This is their chance, so hopefully they don’t get crushed. Naturally, HHH starts going strong which makes sense as he’s the face, so why wouldn’t he be in control at first? Oh apparently the right knee of HHH is his vintage knee. That’s good to know. Shawn gets tagged in to a big pop. Apparently the fans think something of this guy.

He does a cool spot where he fakes Cody out when Cody goes for a leapfrog but Shawn gets slapped. That was stupid don’t you think? There’s the return slap that you knew was coming. Legacy is controlling the match. That’s a lot more than I expected them to do actually. HHH is in now and not dominating. This is being worked slowly towards a big ending. That’s a truly lost art in tag team wrestling today.

I’m liking this: DX gets momentum and Legacy keeps stopping them. See, this is how you build a tag team: you let them look good. That’s what veterans are supposed to do: make young guys look good. DiBiase uses a chin lock. Good to see those Orton lessons paying off. It amuses me that as a tag team, Legacy is light years more successful than DX has been. Legacy is I think 3 time tag champions?

DX has definitely never won a tag title. What does that tell you? Lawler says this isn’t what DX had in mind. Yeah they were looking for some Chinese Checkers. Legacy is doing a great job here of keeping HHH in the ring. That’s very old school and it’s working quite well here. We get the boo yay punching sequence which I always kind of hate. Shawn gets the tag in. Cody goes for the Shawn elbow, which apparently is him stealing the move.

I love how they make no issue of Shawn stealing it from Savage who was winning world titles with it before Shawn debuted in the WWF. DX is actually in trouble here and the announcers are putting them over huge, which is all you can ask for. The crowd starts wooing as Shawn puts on a figure four. Cody hits Crossroads on Shawn, which is actually a pretty good name for his finishing move I guess. Rhodes takes a Pedigree as Shawn takes Dream Street.

Dang I actually couldn’t tell Legacy apart there. That’s not a good sign at all. In one of the fastest endings I’ve ever seen, Shawn hits Sweet at least 4 inches from Cody’s Chin Music for the pin. Yeah that wasn’t even close. Literally they were both just standing up and leaning on each other then Shawn took a step back and kicked. Yeah he missed but maybe the air knocked Cody down?

Rating: A. This was a great tag team match for many reasons, but the big one was that Legacy was made to look legit. This wasn’t like when DX dismantled the Spirit Squad week in and week out. Legacy had me believing that the upset was indeed possible. DX made them look good here in a very good 20 minute match. DX should have won, but they won the right way here. That was by far Legacy’s biggest and best match ever, and they brought their best. I’m impressed with both teams.

Ad for the WM 25 special on Saturday which is going to bomb.

ECW Title: Christian vs. William Regal

Not a ton of backstory here. One night on the Abraham Washington Show, a talk show segment on ECW, Regal was simply announced as the #1 contender. 5 days prior to this, he hooked up with Kozlov and Ezekiel Jackson to form a trio with the only real thing in common being that they’re heels. This should be ok I guess. I still have no clue what the massive appeal of Christian is, although he’s had some decent matches lately.

I feel so sorry for the ECW announcers. Literally, we haven’t heard their voices until now, an hour and 40 minutes into the show. Also, yet again the champion comes out first. That’s just odd. Regal comes out with his two big henchmen.

Jackson’s heel turn was just odd as he was a face for all of two weeks and he was never an actual face at that. All that being said, it’s a 10 second match. Regal gets hit with the Killswitch and is out. Jackson and Kozlov are you beaters tonight. I prefer the Weasleys, but that’s just me. They half kill him here as the name Regal’s Roundtable is used. I like that…kind of.

Rating: N/A. Regal doesn’t belong on a major show like this, so I have no issues here at all. I’ve heard a lot of people complaining about how this was a disgrace and what not like that. Bull, this was great. Number one, the exact same thing happened last year as the ECW Title match got 33 seconds. Number two, this got the people’s attention and it made them believe that a match could end at any time.

That’s one of the major evils in WWE right now: there’s no point to watch the first 10-15 minutes of a world title match as it’s always going to go longer than that. Here you have a match where if you turn around to pet your cat the match is over. That’s brilliant. Number three, there was no build at all here. This gives you something to further the angle so you can have a rematch next month. Number four, people are talking about this now.

Isn’t that the point of any match? Number five, EVERYONE knew Christian was retaining here. How awesome does this make him look as champion? He beat an established veteran that fast with one move. This was a stroke of genius, not a disgrace.

They air some video about some F list celebrities and a charity event the roster was at. I won’t make fun of charity events, ever.

Let’s thank Aerosmith for our pointless theme song.

We get something resembling a recap of last Monday where they were tag partners. Cole says that Orton showed his true colors by attacking Orton after the match. EXCUSE ME? HE IS A FREAKING HEEL! HE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN THE TEAM IN THE FIRST PLACE! How is he showing his true colors by doing what he’s done the whole time? My goodness Cole does it cost you money to think or something?

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Well, at least it’s not HHH again. Basically, it’s pretty simple. Cena won the beat the clock thing to get here, and no one is surprised at all. In a rematch from two years ago, let’s do this. Cena runs to the ring which is kind of odd indeed. He gives his hat to his Marine co-star. Great way to get over with the kids there Johnny Boy. Orton comes out to a chorus of mostly boos. Why does the title graphic spin when the belt itself doesn’t?

My goodness I love the big fight introductions. They just work on all levels. After those, we get our recaps. Yeah that’s actually a bit better. It doesn’t waste as much time. They start off on the mat which actually goes pretty well. That’s something you rarely see from these two and while they’re hardly Kurt Angle, that was pretty good. Orton puts Cena down for awhile and when Cena is trying to get back up, it really looks like he’s trying to give Orton head through the tights.

I know that’s said a lot, but this is the closest it’s ever gotten. Orton takes FOREVER to drop a knee which looks like he’s going for a splash. It’s a new move, so of course it’s vintage. I have no problem when it’s actually a vintage move: HBK’s forearm, the facebuster by HHH, Old School etc. However, a move by Orton that he’s bene using for a few months at most? Give me a break. It’s a misuse of the word and insulting to my intelligence.

Cena hits You Can’t See Me, even though I can see him the entire time. This match is FLYING by. It feels like there was no intro or build and we’re already in the middle of it. That’s not good. FU doesn’t go and Orton hits a powerslam, called a scoop slam by Cole, to get back in control. They flat out say the WWE Title is the more valuable title. At least they admit it. Orton goes for the same knee and this time Cena gets out of the way. At least he’s intelligent.

I really don’t like this referee. He has that hitch in his count and it’s just aggravating. Orton hits that elevated DDT which I love as it’s a move that the ropes actually make better. Orton’s eyes really are great when he’s setting for the RKO. Facial expressions can make or break a match. Edge, Orton and Punk are some of the best there are at it. Punt misses and Cena hits the throwback. He hits the top rope legdrop about as well as he ever has, which is to say he actually connected with it.

Apparently Cena throwing his hands up and jumping up and down means FU now. It’s double clothesline time to make this a bit boring. Why is it only on a double clothesline that they’re devastating moves and not something that the guy pops up from? The fans seem confused as to who to cheer for. Orton shoves the referee, rolls to the floor and grabs his belt and leaves.

I say that as Lillian is on screen making me think I should rephrase that, but at the same time maybe I shouldn’t. Within seconds, she’s received word from Vince…but she trails off. She then announces Orton as the new champion, when she was supposed to say still champion. That’s a major mistake and I think it’s because they blew the spot and tried to do too much at once.

Cole tries to cover as fast as he can, and NOW we get the orders right as Vince has said that if Orton gets disqualified Cena wins the belt. More on that later. So the match is restarted and Cena is dominating. Orton goes to the floor and asks for the belt, which is dropped at first, and then he walks to the back saying that he’s done.

Ok, now we’re restarting it AGAIN, and now if he gets counted out we have a new champion. Ok, how in the HECK did she get word that fast? Both finishers are teased but Orton gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes to steal it.

OR DOES HE?

Another referee comes out and says that Orton has his feet on the ropes, so the original referee says this doesn’t count. Ok wait, back up. What about all the times when it’s said that the referee’s decision is final? If that’s the case, then one of two things should happen. #1, no match can end until the referee has had a chance to go back and rewatch the match, or #2, no decision is ever final since if the referee’s decision is final, then he could in theory go back and reverse it at anytime.

In other words, if the referee can reverse his own final decision, then couldn’t a referee go back and reverse something from years ago? If he has final say I don’t see why not. Guess what? It’s another restart. Best sign of the year: This is Why I Watch Smackdown. Preach it brother. STFU is put on and we get the rapidly becoming infamous moment as a “fan” (it’s Ted DiBiase’s brother Brett but that’s not revealed until tomorrow night) jumps into the ring.

Ok, reasons why this is clearly fake. #1, everything stops. In a real situation like this they just keep going. #2, they put the camera on the guy. That makes it fake as whenever this happens, the cameras go off and you can see the fans all watching the guy. #3, they talk about it. That NEVER happens.

#4, and most important of all, given the fact that the match has been restarted 3 times now, do you really expect this to be real? That was my biggest reason. It’s too unrealistic (and that’s saying a lot given this match) for it to have not been planned. Orton hits a quick RKO for the pin.

Rating: B-. For this rating, I’m factoring out all the insanity and I’ll explain why in just a second. Without all that stuff, this was a bad match. It was boring, it was very rushed, and it just wasn’t entertaining. However, I blame a lot of that on the booking, which is what killed this for me. The rating is fairly up there because a lot of the rhythm was taken away by stupid booking. Lillian messed up her lines, and that’s fine.

She had three freaking sets of them. This match suffered horribly from being overbooked. Why do you need the three restarts if you’re going to do the fan thing? Do one or the other, not four things. It’s too confusing, it takes too long, and it’s just stupid by the end. The fan run in thing would have been fine and actually pretty creative if not for the other three restarts.

Why do you need to have so much stuff in the world title match? It makes things look silly to me and it just makes thing far more complicated than they need to be. The match was bad, but the grade will be high because I think a lot of what was bad was based on the booking of the match and not what the wrestlers were doing. In essence, they had to remember four finishes. That’s asking too much of any wrestler and I think it had a lot to do with them not being that on here.

We recap the Punk/Hardy feud, which has been AWESOME.

Smackdown World Title: CM Punk vs. Jeff Hardy

This has been one of the best feuds in recent memory for a few reasons. One, it’s Punk at his best. Two, the clash is so natural that it’s great. Three, the matches have been great. It’s possible Hardy is done after this, so I’d expect a new champion. Punk lost the title to Hardy at Night of Champions in what I would call an odd choice after Punk delivered one of the best promos I’ve ever heard that had me cheering in my room.

Anyway, this is a TLC match, which actually plays into the two time MITB winner’s hands I’d think. Thankfully this has gone on last. Other than some lines from Ross about how Hardy is addicted to adrenaline, it’s a standard hard hitting spotfest that you’ve grown to know and accept in these places. Hardy has some mixed reactions here as I think it’s gotten out that he’s gone. Do announcers not pay attention?

Why are all ladders the biggest they’ve ever seen? Did you know Jeff is like smoke being poured through a keyhole? I’m not sure if you caught it the first 10,000 times Ross has said it. Yep and there it is the major spot, as Hardy, for about the fourth time in his career, goes to the huge ladder and hits the super swanton. Yeah it looks cool, but dang we’ve seen it way too many times. Why didn’t Punk move either?

He wasn’t tied down and it took Hardy longer than it takes him to smoke a bowl to get up there. More commentary problems as this is going on too. Hey, in case you didn’t see it, here’s 15 replays. Hardy is being taken out on a stretcher. I guess that’s how they’re ending him? Yeah that’s…different I guess. While this is happening, Punk starts climbing. Hardy pops up to go after him though.

I love the powers of recuperation that wrestlers have. Punk is hopping up the ladder and it’s just hysterical looking. He looks like a rabbit. Hardy takes a straight fall down off the ladder as Punk takes the belt to end the show. Sweetness indeed. The announcers of course try to make this out to be completely epic. JR sounds like he’s ordering dinner. Way to show emotion there buddy. No wonder you’re in the Hall of Fame.

Before we go though, the gong rings. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams Punk, who is somehow STILL not being respected as champion. Yeah I don’t like this. Match was good though. Post match, a gong strikes. Taker pops up from under the ring and chokeslams the new champion to end the show.

Rating: A. This was a great match and a great way to end the show. It wasn’t complicated like the last show and to me shows why Smackdown is way ahead of Raw right now. This wasn’t all drama and over the top stuff. Sure it was a gimmick match, but it was about the match and not some big screwjob.

At the end of the day, the best way to get over and have a good match/feud is to have good action, not good stories. The last two matches are a classic example of that, and Smackdown did it right while Raw failed.

Overall Rating: A-. This was a VERY good show. It’s not great, but it’s close. The worst match of the night is Kane/Khali, but it’s at least watchable. They kept it short which was smart. The tag title wasn’t much but they kept JTG in there for the majority of the time which is certainly the right thing to do.

Other than that and the STUPID booking for the Raw title match, I really liked this show for one reason: it was about the in ring stuff. That’s the solution to any wrestling company’s problem. At the end of the day, have good matches and the fans will be happy. The matches were good and I’m very pleased with this show and it gets a big recommendation.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

For the first time in a few years, it feels like we’ve got a big card tonight. It’s a double main event with Undertaker vs. Edge inside the Cell and Cena vs. Batista for the first time ever. I remember being very fired up for this show when it first aired so hopefully it lives up to the hype after some very lackluster entries the last few years. Let’s get to it.

The theme this year is that this is the ultimate summer blockbuster. I’ve heard worse. This shifts into your standard opening video.

It’s another good song here with Ready to Roll by Jet Black Stare.

We run down the card because you might have ordered the show blind or something?

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Jeff is in the middle of the biggest story of his life, as he’s been chasing the world title all year. This resulted in one of the highest number of buys ever for the Rumble, yet he’s opening the show here in a midcard match. Makes sense in WWE world I guess. There isn’t much of a story here other than MVP has been messing with Jeff lately. Hardy starts with two right hands to send MVP to the floor and there’s a whip into the barricade. Back in and a slingshot legdrop gets two for Jeff and we hit the armbar.

MVP makes the ropes and the referee has to keep pulling Jeff out of the corner. Jeff eventually gets free and charges right into a snap belly to belly for two. MVP kicks him in the back and puts on something like a crucifix hold before rolling over into a camel clutch. Off to something like a side leg bar but MVP eventually lets it go. Jeff goes tot he apron but MVP knocks him out of the air to break up a springboard, getting two.

Jeff is put in the Tree of Woe so MVP picks him up and slams the top of his head into the mat. That’s a new one. MVP loads up something like a Gory Bomb but Jeff slips down the back and neckbreakers his way to freedom. The slingshot dropkick in the corner is countered by two feet to Hardy’s chest but Jeff avoids the Drive By kick in the corner. A sunset flip gets two for Jeff and the Whisper in the Wind puts MVP down again. Cue US Champion Shelton Benjamin to distract Hardy from the Swanton, allowing MVP to move. The Drive By kick is good for the pin on Jeff.

Rating: B-. Summerslam almost always has good openers and this is a good example. I never got into MVP like a lot of people did but this was a solid performance from him. Shelton had been involved with this feud as an accessory on Smackdown but it’s not exactly enough of a connection for the run-in here to work. Good match though.

Glamarella (Santino and Beth) is ready for their mixed tag winner take all match with Kofi and Mickie. Santino talks about the unibrow and how the tabloids love the new name for the two of them. Maria, Santino’s ex, is doing the interview so we get a stare down between the girls.

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston

Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.

Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.

Santino gets on Beth’s shoulders to celebrate.

Video on Shawn Michaels’ eye injury. He may not be able to continue wrestling due to the eye and for the first time he’s listening to his doctors. If they tell him it’s too bad, he’s walking away.

Here’s Shawn with his wife for the announcement. Shawn talks about how his doctors have re-evaluated his eye and it looks like he’s going to have to walk away. He remembers his first Summerslam and since then the fans have let him become the Heart Break Kid and Mr. Wrestlemania. He’s also the guy who screwed Bret Hart (wasn’t that Hebner?), the man who formed DX, the man who lost his smile and the man who retired Ric Flair. Now though he can be a full time husband and a full time father…..and here’s Jericho, the man who injured Shawn’s eye.

Jericho, currently an awesome heel rocking a suit, says that he’s not accepting this. Shawn isn’t leaving due to an eye injury on his own terms. He wants Shawn to admit that he’s walking away because of what Jericho did to him and nothing else. Shawn gets serious and says to get out of the ring but Jericho wants to hear that Shawn is leaving because of him. Shawn needs to admit it to his wife, his children, himself and to Jericho. All of Shawn’s accomplishments don’t matter because the epitaph of his career will be that he was forced to walk away because of Chris Jericho.

Shawn says he’ll admit it and tell his wife and kids what Jericho wants to hear on one condition: if Jericho goes home to his wife and kids and tells them that he never could be Shawn Michaels. BURN! Shawn goes to walk away but Jericho swings, only to hit Shawn’s wife, knocking her out cold. What a man that Shawn is, ducking when his wife was behind him. You know it’s on at Unforgiven now and the fans are eating this stuff up. This was the feud of the year in 2008 and there’s no arguing that.

ECW Title: Mark Henry vs. Matt Hardy

Matt earned the title by doing something not important enough to explain to us. These two teamed up on ECW with Mark attacking his partner, injuring his ribs. Mark hits a quick forearm to the back but misses a charge, allowing Matt to hit the Twist of Fate, drawing in Henry’s manager Tony Atlas for the DQ 30 seconds in.

Jeff Hardy comes out to make the save and the Hardys suplex Henry.

We recap CM Punk vs. JBL. Punk cashed in the MITB case a few weeks ago on Raw to bring the World Heavyweight Championship to Raw. JBL bullied Punk and called him a footnote in wrestling. It’s a basic story but sometimes that’s the best idea, which is the case here.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Punk was basically a glorified midcarder at this point but his time would come. JBL shoves Punk into the corner to start and a hard shoulder puts the champion down. Punk comes back with a flying forearm to send him to the outside and a suicide dive fires the fans up even more. Back in and a high cross body gets a one count for Punk but another shoulder block puts him down. Punk tries to go up, only to be taken down by a middle rope fall away slam for two.

JBL goes after the back and we hit the bearhug. This is a basic big guy vs. little guy formula so far but again there’s nothing wrong with that at all. Punk fights out of it as the fans are rather rowdy. We stay on the back as JBL continues his basic power offense. Back to a side grip on Punk’s ribs on the mat before we go old school with an abdominal stretch. Punk fights out and hits the knee in the corner/bulldog combo but the ribs give out on the GTS attempt. JBL takes him back down and drops some elbows for two.

The clothesline misses and Punk starts firing off his strikes, hitting a high kick to the head for two. A springboard clothesline is countered into a powerslam for two and JBL yells at the referee a lot. Another clothesline attempt from JBL is countered with a leg lariat to put both guys down. They hit heads as JBL fell and Punk is busted open from the back of his head. Layfield blocks another knee/bulldog combo by putting Punk on the buckle for a belly to back superplex. There much be something really wrong because Punk pops up and hits a quick GTS to retain. Oh yeah there’s a BIG blood spot from where Punk was laying on the mat.

Rating: C+. This needed a few more minutes but with a legit cut that bad you have to go home in a hurry. Obviously Punk was going to win the entire time so it’s not like the ending was changed that badly. What we did get was good stuff with a basic story that is going to work time after time and did so here.

We recap HHH vs. Great Khali. Again not much to say here: HHH won the Smackdown Title and dominated for a few months until Khali was one of the few challengers he had left. Again it’s your basic hero vs. monster but the question coming in is can HHH Pedigree Khali. He tries for weeks leading up but never could pull it off.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.

HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.

Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten.

We recap Cena vs. Batista. Cena accidentally punched Batista in a tag match on Raw, triggering a brawl between the two. It became exactly what it should have been: a showdown between the two guys who had carried the company for the last three years. This was one of the few dream matches they had built up for years and belonged as a PPV main event. Cena said he had been wanting this match for six years because he just didn’t know if he could beat Batista.

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.

Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?

The Cell is lowered.

We recap Edge vs. Undertaker. They fought for the world title at Wrestlemania with Taker winning the title (duh) before Edge’s wife Vickie Guerrero stripped him of the title for using the Hell’s Gate, which was declared illegal. Edge won the title in a TLC match and Taker left for a bit, but Edge got caught cheating with his wedding planner (Alicia Fox). Vickie reinstated Taker and set up the Cell match here tonight. Edge got Mick Foley to try to find out how to beat Undertaker in the Cell (even though Foley lost) and was told to bring back the Rated R Superstar inside of him. Edge beat up Foley and was back.

Edge vs. Undertaker

It takes two minutes and forty five seconds from Taker’s gong to him slamming the Cell door closed. Edge fires off right hands in the corner but walks into a big boot. We head outside the ring so Edge can be rammed into the steel. A series of headbutts puts Edge down and Taker whips him hard into the steps. Vickie and company (La Familia) is watching in the back.

Back inside now but with steps involved as well. The Snake Eyes drop Edge on the steps but he blocks the big boot and sends Taker into the steps instead. Edge hits a spear to a seated dead man but doesn’t go for a cover. Instead he grabs a table but stops to knock Taker out with the steps to the head. Edge gets another table but doesn’t slide either of them into the ring. The table is set up on the floor instead but Edge has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt instead of sending Taker through it.

Now it’s chair time with Edge dropping Taker again. Here’s a third table but the first one actually brought into the ring. Edge pulls out a ladder as TLCHIAC continues. Another chair shot puts Taker down as we have a ladder, a table and steps in the ring. Three of the four things are used as Edge puts Taker on the table and picks up the chair before climbing the ladder. He drives the dead man through the table in the same spot he used on Foley a few weeks ago. Nice touch.

It’s only good for two though so it’s time for a Conchairto, only to have Taker grab Edge by the throat. Edge breaks free but gets caught in a big right hand to put him back down. A bit boot sends Edge into the cage and Taker crushes his head with the steps for good measure. Edge posts Taker to get a breather and uses the steps as a launching pad to knock Taker through the Cell. Taker’s arm is bleeding a bit.

They fight at the announce table before Edge is sent into the barricade to put him down again. Taker misses a monitor shot to the head, allowing Edge to crack him in the head with it instead. In the big spot of the match, Edge runs the announce tables for a big spear to Undertaker, putting both guys down. Edge can’t follow up so Taker wins a slug out and they head back inside, drawing some moderate booing. Back in and a ladder to the face gives Edge control again and a chair shot gets two.

Taker counters the spear into a chokeslam for a close two and Taker is getting frustrated. The Last Ride is countered by a low blow and an Impaler gets two. Back up and Taker loads up the Last Ride again but wants it through the tables on the floor. Edge slips over the top and hits the spear for a very close two. Now the Last Ride connects but Edge gets out at two.

Taker loads up a tombstone off the steps but Edge counters into an Edge-O-Matic onto the steps for two. Now Edge loads up Old School but Taker crotches him down and chokeslams him through the tables on the floor. Back in and Undertaker spears Edge down and breaks a camera over his head. A Conchairto crushes Edge’s skull and the tombstone finally ends this.

Rating: A. THIS is how you blow off a feud. Edge was completely destroyed at the end here with Undertaker hitting every big move he had and Edge not kicking out of them at all. These two had some great action all year long and the Cell is the best way to blow the whole thing off. Having it as a TLC match inside the Cell was fine and it made for a great main event.

Taker leaves but Edge very slowly gets up. The big man goes back inside and sets up the ladder before lifting Edge onto it. Taker throws in another ladder and climbs up next to Edge so he can throw the Canadian down through the mat. He raises his arms up and lights the hole on fire to end the show in a corny moment.

Overall Rating: A-. This was pretty awesome all around. The opener was good, one match didn’t count, the title matches were both decent to good and the main events both rocked. You could say the tag match wasn’t very good but it’s less than six minutes long and Santino makes it entertaining enough. This is one of the better shows they’ve had in the series and it’s well worth checking out.

Ratings Comparison

MVP vs. Jeff Hardy

Original: B

Redo: B-

Kofi Kingston/Mickie James vs. Glamarella

Original: D

Redo: D+

Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Original: N/A

Redo: N/A

CM Punk vs. John Bradshaw Layfield

Original: B-

Redo: C+

Great Khali vs. HHH

Original: B+

Redo: C+

Batista vs. John Cena

Original: A

Redo: A-

Edge vs. Undertaker

Original: A-

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: A-

Redo: A-

Yep, it’s still great.

Here’s the original idea if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/11/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2008-punk-as-champion-thatll-never-happen-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Summerslam 2008
Date: August 17, 2008
Location: Conseco Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Attendance: 15,997
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Todd Grisham, Matt Striker

Another year and here we are at the final Summerslam before this year’s installment. The main guys are still the main guys, except CM Punk is now the World Heavyweight Champion. The belts have switched again by the way. The real main event here is Batista vs. Cena but the match going on last is Taker vs. Edge in the Cell to finally blow off this feud.

They tried to make this show more of a dream card and I think to an extent it worked. HHH vs. Great Khali is the other title match and it’s gotten a lot of criticism, but I’ve always liked it. Since it’s been such a short time since this show, there’s only so much I can rant on here, but let’s get to it.

The theme of this show is the biggest blockbuster of the summer. This led to some creative ideas of various wrestlers in movie roles, with the best one being Jericho as Indiana Jones. The voiceover guy says there’s never been a box office bust. He never saw Summerslam 1995 did he? They play up Taker and Edge as the main event which is fine as it’s likely the bigger match. I’ll get to that later as it deserves a real tribute for one of the promos that was done about it.

Jeff Hardy vs. MVP

Jeff would be launched into the world title scene shortly after this, eventually getting the title in December. Needless to say, he’s ridiculously over. Ross says that Hardy gets a Michael Phelps like reaction. That’s just funny knowing what we know now about Phelps. MVP is still full heel here as he should be every time he’s in the ring. The set looks cool too as it looks like a movie marquee with the match that’s going on at the moment on it. I like that.

MVP is dominating this. Hardy has had next to no offense the entire match as it’s been all MVP since he hit a belly to belly suplex very early on which messed up Jeff’s neck and back. Since then, that’s all MVP has worked on. What a great concept. Someone hurts something and you go after it. Who would have thought of something like that?

There’s so much back and neck work here that it’s like I’m watching an Angle match. Hardy gets to the apron and tries a springboard move but MVP just punches him in the face. I freaking LOVE that. When all else fails, just hit him in the face.

MVP gets him down in the corner and sets up for the Drive By, but apparently his slapping the mat, posing and yelling allows Jeff to hear him coming and he avoids it. Jeff makes his comeback but as he’s going for the Bomb, Shelton runs out and Jeff dives on him. He misses the Swanton this time and MVP kicks him in the head for the pin. I don’t remember Jeff and Shelton doing anything.

Rating: B. This was a good match. The psychology was right there and MVP got the win which he needed far more than Hardy. Hardy just got beaten up in this match and he got beaten up badly, so that’s a perk. Either way, this was a good match with both guys looking solid. Why they never pulled the trigger on MVP I’m not sure.

Maria is an interviewer tonight I guess and is with Santino and Beth. This was when Santino was I guess at his peak and so of course the company decided to shove him down our throats. Beth looks ungodly hot here.

We have a poll about will Edge and Vickie divorce? Yes they would about 6 months later.

IC/Women’s Title: Mickie/Kofi vs. Beth/Santino

There’s a very simple concept here as Adamle was out of room on the card for both matches so he put them together and the winners leave with both titles. I love Kofi as the IC Champion. He was young, good, popular and in need of the push. What more can you ask for from the IC Champion? Mickie needs to wear white more often. The men can fight the women here. Beth beats up Mickie but she beats up Santino as spellcheck hates this match.

Kofi beats up the Italian so this is getting better all the time. Kofi is one of the few guys that can pull off the all yellow look. This is a lot of stalling until Kofi can kick it into high gear. Santino is pure comedy here, or at least an attempt at it. Mickie beats him up even more, but Beth catches Mickie with the Implant Buster or whatever it’s called to win it. Cole calls Beth he I think by mistake. Beth carries Santino out on her shoulders.

Rating: D. Not only was it boring but the booking was stupid. Oh yeah let’s take the belt off of a great choice in Kofi for the sake of comedy! Yeah the belt will be just fine. This was the beginning of the killing of the IC belt that it took Rey to save. I hated this, but Kofi and Mickie’s figure brings us back to a passing grade.

Buy the Hardy Boys DVD.

We hear about Shawn’s eye injury from the Great American Bash. More or less, he’s going to announce if he’s retiring or not here tonight. Jericho wants him gone. He was wrestling at house shows in between the PPVs, so obviously he wasn’t’ that hurt. Shawn comes out with his very hot wife named ReBECCA for this big announcement. She’s taller than he is. That’s just funny. This is going to be a long segment.

Shawn surprisingly says that he’s going to retire. Shawn thanks the fans and goes through all of his career highlights, including the screwjob and beginning DX. Geez his hair is falling out fast. As he’s thanking everyone, Jericho’s music kicks on. You know for someone that’s gotten rid of everything old, he’s sticking to that music like processed horse. Jericho says that he wants Shawn to admit that he’s quitting because of Jericho and not the eye injury.

Shawn says he’ll sit his kids and his wife down and admit that but Jericho has to sit his wife and kids down and tell them that he’ll never be Shawn Michaels. The crowd pops like crazy over that as this is one of the best segments I’ve ever seen. To up this even further, Shawn turns to leave but Jericho throws a punch that hits Shawn’s wife. Jericho leaves as Shawn is panicking. Everyone runs out to help her as Jericho leaves. The fans are eating this up with a spoon.

She sold it perfectly too so that’s helping a lot. This would lead to Shawn nearly killing Jericho at Unforgiven where Jericho would actually win the title, leading to the ladder match at No Mercy to finally end this feud.

Some movie is sponsoring this show.

ECW Title: Matt Hardy vs. Mark Henry

Henry is champion here. He came over to ECW and just tore the place up, leading to this match. This is what I guess you could call the Michael Hayes Special. It was around this time that Hayes had used some racial slurs in the back and Henry complained about it. Soon therafter, Kofi won the IC Title, Shelton got the US Title and Henry the ECW Title. You might call it a coincidence, but it’s a bit too much for me to believe.

Henry even got the new belt because it didn’t fit around his overly large gut. He also has Tony Atlas with him here for no apparent reason. I think it was because Henry is horrible as a talker. We get the big fight introductions which never cease being cool. Bell rings and we’re off. Striker tells us who is who and what colors they’re wearing since we couldn’t tell that ourselves. Matt pops him with some punches but Henry just powers him to the corner.

Wait, Matt hits the Twist and goes for the cover? What the heck? Atlas pulls him out…and it’s a DQ in 30 seconds. Um, WHAT THE HECK? I know the Shawn segment was long but DUDE, you couldn’t fit in a three minute match before we do this? Oh that’s right. We had to have Santino celebrate instead.

Atlas beats on Matt but Jeff runs out and helps fight the two muscle guys off. Striker says the Hardys might be the best tag team in the last twenty years. Yeah, I’m not going near that one as it’s too easy to make fun of.

Rating: N/A. Really, what was the point of this? Matt would get the title the next month.

Ad for the Summerslam Anthology.

Same poll question is asked.

We get a recap of JBL vs. Punk. Punk won the title back in June in an epic moment, stealing the belt from Edge with the MITB contract. The problem was Punk was treated badly as champion, just as he was in his second reign. Think about it. This past reign he lost clean to Morrison twice. In the first reign, Batista won or barely lost at least once. Why can they not just give him a clean win? Maybe they will here, but over a weak opponent.

Raw World Title: JBL vs. CM Punk

Punk’s line of “some people like to refer to me as a fluke. I like to refer to myself as world heavyweight champion.” is just great. Punk gets a solid reaction during the intros. It’s not huge but it’s good. They talk about how this is a culture clash and they’re exactly right. I really like that actually as it’s definitely old school vs. new school as they say it is. For once they’re absolutely right. I love that suicide dive that Punk throws out a lot of the time.

They actually call JBL Bradshaw which I haven’t heard him referred to in forever. JBL tries a bearhug but it turns into a reverse waistlock. JBL is pretty bad at this point as his injuries were just getting to be too much for him. The main thing here is Punk’s ribs being worked on, which while a bit generic is something that works just about every time. Bradshaw’s style works well there so it’s not like he is doing something out of the ordinary.

A few submissions follow but surprisingly enough Punk wins a slug out. He hits a leg lariat but in an unplanned spot, JBL’s head slams into Punk’s which busts him open without cutting him. That was just painful looking. They hammer on each other a bit more, but Punk avoids a big power move to hit the GTS for a clean pin. I know that was short, but it wasn’t designed to be an epic match.

It was about 11 minutes and it made Punk look good as it was supposed to. He needed a clean win with the GTS to make himself look at least respectable. Lawler and Cole don’t do him any favors as they still talk about how he’s a fluke champion and a Cinderella story. Why do they need to do that? We get it, but the point of that match was to build him up a bit harder. Why mention what they were trying to overcome here?

Rating: B-. It was pretty generic at times, but it was certainly solid. JBL was doing what he was best at: slow methodical offense that made Punk look good when he came back from it. This was what Punk needed to make his reign a lot more credible: a clean pinfall victory over a big name. He would lose the title without being in the match next month due to the Scramble while JBL would move on to HBK after he got done with Jericho.

Khali is warming up in the back. That leads us to this recap. There wasn’t much of a story here other than Khali wanting a shot. The basic idea of this feud is simple: HHH can’t get the Pedigree on Khali.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The fans pop huge for HHH. Khali’s size is flat out scary. I’ve seen him at house shows and he’s just absolutely massive. We get a cool stat that the WWE Title has been defended 17 times out of 20 Summerslams but it’s only changed 3 times. That’s very impressive actually. One more time we get the big match introductions. Khali is booed pretty loudly. HHH is only 255 here so he’s slimmed down a bit. HHH is the faster guy here which isn’t something you see that often.

He goes for the Pedigree within 30 seconds which doesn’t hit. Less than a minute in Khali hits the double handed chokeslam and the vice. HHH becomes the first guy to escape that hold but it’s not him hogging the spotlight. He’s smart enough to kick the knees out, which plays to his being the Cerebral Assassin. That makes sense, so shut up HHH haters. Ok, we’ve been in this two minutes and Khali has used his three signature moves. That makes sense. MASSIVE you can’t wrestle chant.

Khali busts out a leg drop, so obviously he can wrestle, since that guy was an in ring general. The crowd isn’t convinced though as the chant starts again. It might be the neck grip that he’s using that doesn’t really cause a lot of pain I wouldn’t think. HHH gets the facebuster to lock Khali in the ropes.

Nothing comes of it though as he’s out very fast. Pedigree try #2 doesn’t work either. HHH is smart again as he goes for the knees. That’s the best thing to do against a guy this massive. He uses the vice again as this is very back and forth. The Game forces the hands off but they’re right back on again, and it’s knee time. The third time on the Pedigree works and HHH wins.

Rating: B+. Now a lot of people are going to say this match sucks, but I disagree. This is probably Khali’s best match ever, and I think a lot of the credit for that should go to HHH. The idea here was that HHH just had to survive until he could hit his one big home run move.

Once he got that the match was going to be over and that’s exactly what happened. That makes perfect sense. The whole match was about him trying to hit the Pedigree and when he did it won the match. What more can you ask for out of something like this? There’s only so much you can do with Khali, so they did the best they could, and it worked out very well to me.

We get the recap of Cena vs. Batista, which the more I think about it, the more I like the short buildup. This match was based on two titans clashing and that’s all there needed to be. Cena’s One Day promo is something I really like.

More or less what he says is that despite all the years of him being the supposed biggest thing in the company, Batista got all the accolades and that one day, they would have their showdown. When you hear Cena talk, you have to give him this: he admits he has faults, unlike someone like Hogan who just screams about how great he is. It’s nice to hear both sides of it for a change.

John Cena vs. Batista

Big staredown before the bell and it’s on. This definitely has the big fight atmosphere and it’s working perfectly. You may no like either guy but you can’t argue that this is the biggest match the company had for a long time. Seeing this as one of the main events at Wrestlemania is still just awesome looking. Batista Bomb is avoided early as it’s kind of a long feeling out process to start.

Release fisherman’s suplex gets two for Cena as I have a feeling a strong style is coming. Side slam by Batista gets two. FU is blocked and Big Dave goes for the knee. Batista gets a figure four as the fans all go WOO as you would think two people just kissed on a sitcom. After a rope is grabbed Cena hits the FU on Batista but it’s over the top rope so we kind of hit a break.

Here come the shoulders and the Protoplex sets up the 5 Knuckle Shuffle. Since it’s a freaking punch though Big Dave pops up and kicks Cena’s head off so that both guys are down. Big spinebuster by Batista but the Batista Bomb is countered into the STFU that has ZERO pressure on the neck or upper body at first. The fans boo the heck out of this.

The positioning of the knee in this hold is always freaky looking to me and looks horrendous every time. A rope is almost grabbed but Cena pulls them back to the center. He’s been in it nearly a full minute now but FINALLY the rope is grabbed. FU is blocked again into a rear naked choke of all things by the Animal. The good thing here is you get a closeup of the arm and it’s not fully on so there is a legit reason for Cena not dying.

After elbows get Cena out of the hold a BIG OLD SPEAR puts him down. Sometimes there’s nothing better than a big old tackle. Batista goes for a powerslam but Cena counters like people counter Tombstones into a BIG FU for a long two. Fans are WAY into this too.

Cena goes up top but Batista goes up too and we slug it out on the buckle. Nice place for the boo/yay spot. Cena shoves him off but goes for the leg drop into the powerbomb which more or less snapped his neck after it was already hurt and put him out for three months until the biggest shock in like ever as he was #30 in the Rumble. Somehow it gets two so Batista hits one of the biggest Batista Bombs ever ends this clean.

Rating: A. This was the super match that everyone wanted to see and it was a great one. Both guys were spot on to say the least. Batista gets an unfair reputation as being bad, but when it’s a big match, he brings it. The ending of this match was excellent, with neither guy being able to do it. I don’t like the strong style like that being used that often, but when it’s done right, it’s a thing of beauty.

The ending with Batista just losing it and beating Cena down until there was no way he was getting up was great as it plays up to the Animal theory. This was a showdown that lived up to the hype and left the door open for the Mania rematch that we know is coming one day. This loss does something else: it keeps Cena human.

He’s dominated everyone, but there’s one man that he just can’t beat: Batista. It gives him something to shoot for. He lost the Rumble to him in 2005 and he lost here as well. That’s a great touch indeed.

The poll results say that Vickie and Edge will divorce.

The Cell is lowered and the fans pop huge. This is the newer model of the cell which is less wide but taller, making it look more like a cell than a cage. We get the recap for the feud. It started with Taker going after the title and beating Edge at Mania. Edge cheated on his wife later on, resulting in her punishing him with the Cell match upon Taker’s return from suspension.

The title aspect of the feud was long over by this point, so this was a bit weird for a choice. Before the show though, Edge and Foley cut an in ring promo where Foley said that Edge wasn’t the same guy he used to be and that Edge would get killed if he didn’t change. It was probably the best promo of the year and was absolutely great to say the least.

Hell in a Cell: Undertaker vs. Edge

Both guys are well received, but of course Taker gets the mega pop as he’s beyond legendary status at this point. We start with a fistfight and of course Taker dominates. He hits a SWEET kick to the face to get a real advantage. Taker always gets insane out there and it’s great every time. His most famous moment has to be throwing Foley, so if nothing else consider that for his stuff in here.

They’re already on the floor and have spent more time there than they did in the ring. Stairs are brought into the ring so we’re going hardcore already. Taker hits Snake Eyes onto the stairs but Edge blocks it I guess as he really isn’t hurt by it. Spear is hit into the steps, (granted Taker is sitting up against them so it’s more like a running shoulder block) so they’re saying screw the thought process I guess.

Oh look it’s a table, so I guess this is the hardcore cell now? Another table is leaned against the cage. We have a double stack of tables on the floor. I’m curious to see how that’s going to work as there’s far less room between the cage and the ring than there used to be. Edge gets a chair so we’re up to three different weapons in less than ten minutes. At least they’re staying true to the original concept. I hate changes to a match like this.

You can hear the fans chanting Edge so even back then he had a lot of fans. It’ll be good for him to come back as a face. He’s a great heel, but it’s not going to kill him to change a bit. Sick chair shot to Taker as Edge is completely in control here, which I think I expected him to be. This isn’t your standard HIAC match yet though as it’s been more of a hardcore match in a cage, which I don’t think I like that much. And now we have a ladder.

They had a TLC match already, so I guess they need one in a cage too? We get a ton of weapons shots but it ends with Edge trying a conchairto that Taker just sits up and chokes him to escape and take back over. Back on the outside, Taker just kills Edge with the steps. The sound on this was just great. Edge of course is back on offense in about 8 seconds and he spears Taker through a section of the Cell which crashes down onto the table.

It wasn’t as cool as when Lashley did it to Umaga, but it certainly wasn’t bad. Now they’re on the floor in front of the cage. You know, I don’t remember if there’s ever been a Cell match that stayed in the cage. It’s almost a running joke. Again, there’s only so much I can make fun of here as it’s been an intense, well fought match. Edge runs across some tables and spears him through the ECW table which has replaced the Spanish Announcer Table as the destroyed furniture of choice.

Taker pops up of course and is now dominating. The no selling is getting to be very annoying now. They’re back in the cell now with Edge beating on him with the ladder as the Home Depot main event continues. We see Vickie and the remnants of La Familia, the worst stable in recent history, looking on. The commentators try to figure out if they’re happy or not. Well they’re not clapping their hands, so if they’re happy they don’t know it. Edge brings in a camera so maybe it’s a Staples match.

Taker avoids the spear and chokeslams Edge for a long two. Jim Ross must be the Chris Berman of wrestling with all of these annoying nicknames for people. Also, why does he have to keep referring to the cell like it has thoughts of its own? Is this a wrestling match or a Stephen King story? Edgecution which is called the Impaler, which needs to come back. It’s such a better move than the spear which a lot of people use and he’s not that good at it either.

Taker sets for the Last Ride through the double stack of tables on the outside but takes a spear instead. They say that Taker has had more issues dealing with Edge than anyone else. I think Kane and Foley would disagree. Also the fact that he never beat Bret Hart could be a factor in there. Last Ride gets two. Ross gets the great line of Last Ride means Last Rites. If you thought I was being legit there, you need help.

Edge is pretty much dead at this point but he comes back long enough to hit an Edge-a-Matic on the stairs to make ANOTHER comeback out of the Tombstone. Ross points out that Taker isn’t standing. That’s another line that I don’t even need to make fun of. Edge tries Old School. Now, let’s count how many ways this is going to not work. Well, Taker chokeslamming him through the two tables outside would be the best way I guess, and that’s what he does.

Tazz says that Edge looks like he fell off of a building. Actually I’d say he looks like he got chokeslammed off of the top rope through two tables inside a Hell in a Cell cage by the Undertaker at Summerslam 2008, but keep in mind I’m not a professional. How many buildings do you know of that have tables stacked up on the ground outside of them? Back in the ring, Edge gets speared as Taker shows how you steal a move.

It was B+A while in special mode on No Mercy for those of you interested. He follows this up with a SICK camera shot to Edge’s head. Dang this is more of a slaughter than he should have gotten in the WZ Tournament this year. Conchairto is next, as Edge never should be able to wrestle again. The tombstones finishes this absolute massacre. La Familia is applauding. Taker walks up the aisle but turns around and comes back.

Ok, I’m not huge on Edge, but dang it let the man live. He gets the ladder which isn’t much taller than Taker is actually. He stands Edge up on it so it’s like he was climbing and fell asleep. Taker gets another ladder next to it as I’m not sure what he’s setting for. He chokeslams Edge through the ring to FINALLY end the show.

OR DOES HE???

Taker gets on his knees and raises his arms, as fire stars shooting out of the hole. JR says where Taker sent Edge. Oh man it why did they have to go there? Yeah, that hurt things a LOT.

Rating: A-. I’m not wild on the weapons in there. The idea of the Cell is to have it be enough to hurt people. More or less you had a TLC match in the cage, which both worked and didn’t work at the same time. On one hand, you had an incredibly violent match with a definitive winner of the feud in Taker, but you also had a lot of clutter in there.

I think the weapons could work but they just used FAR too many of them. The fire at the end was just stupid. So wait, Edge is there now? If so, then why was he back on TV a few months later completely fine? See why it makes NO FREAKING SENSE???

Overall Rating: A-. A very solid show here, as there’s just one bad match and one headscratcher in the double title match. Other than that, this is a very good show. Your two non title matches are both great, the world title matches are solid, and you have a solid segment.

The only thing I think that’s missing would be the match with Hardy and Henry. Why not have like 3 minutes worth instead of 30 seconds? Were they running so close to the time limit that they couldn’t spare two minutes or so? Either way, this was a great show and one of the better ones I’ve seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of KB’s History Of In Your House (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2019/05/31/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-in-your-house/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6