IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 22, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s time to find out what happened last week in Feast or Fired. Tonight is the opening of the briefcases and that means three people are getting title shots while a fourth is getting fired. The firing isn’t the biggest surprise in the world but there’s still some interest elsewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The case holders (Eli Drake, Moose, Petey Williams and Ethan Carter III) arrive as Josh recaps last week’s match.

Recap of Feast of Fired, in case the spoken version didn’t do it for you.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto El Patron to say he can fight even if he’s in a suit. He’s ready to fight a real champion in Austin Aries, but Aries doesn’t know who really is the greatest man that ever lived. Cue Aries to talk about how they’re no so different. They’re willing to punch people in the face and they love professional wrestling.

Aries is the truth though and the title match is on for Redemption. Alberto says they both have something to prove so the title match is on. Did we really need to establish that twice? Aries says he’s short but the chip he’ll stand on makes him bigger. El Patron goes to leave as Austin’s music plays, but Aries says to play Alberto’s, because his won’t be playing to end Redemption.

The hosts are in the studio to preview the show with Josh thankfully not holding the Grand Championship.

Trevor Lee vs. Fallah Bahh

Lee makes the mistake of shoving Bahh and falls to the power of the belly. Bahh steps over his back but a Caleb Konley distraction lets Lee knock him to the floor. Back in and we hit a very quick neck crank for two (yes off a neck crank) before Lee thinks it’s a good idea to try a sunset flip. That earns him the sitdown splash so Konley tries to come in. Bahh rolls over both of them in a row but takes too long going up, allowing Lee to roll him up from the middle rope for the pin at 5:28.

Rating: D. Bahh is rapidly falling into the trap of wrestlers his size: he does the same stuff over and over again and the impact goes away. We get it: he’s big, he shouts a lot and he rolls over people. That’s only going to get you so far and Bahh is already there. I’ve never gotten the appeal and while he’s not terrible, if you’ve seen one of his matches, you’ve seen all of them.

OVE is stalking Alisha Edwards (Eddie’s wife) in her hotel. Eddie sees it and runs off as OVE gets to her door.

Petey Williams is ready to open his briefcase and become X-Division Champion again once and for all.

X-Division Title: Rohit Raju vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal is defending and has Josh Matthews in his corner, meaning Sonjay is alone on commentary. Matt takes him into the corner but lets him out with a peace sign. An armbar allows them to turn up the pace a bit until Sydal charges into an elbow. That’s about it for Raju at the moment as Matt takes him down into a Muta Lock.

As usual it’s not enough for a submission so Raju comes back with a neckbreaker as we take a break. Back with Sydal getting two off a standing moonsault but Raju hits a running knee to the head. A German suplex cuts Raju off and the shooting star connects to retain Sydal’s title at 11:24.

Rating: C. Raju is another example of Impact not knowing how to introduce new characters. He just showed up a few weeks ago and the company acts like we know who he is. I’m assuming he had some videos put up on YouTube or their website, but TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT HIM! If he’s good enough to get a title shot and be in Feast or Fired, he’s worthy of an explanation.

Moose is ready to become World Champion and is glad he gambled on Feast or Fired.

Eli Drake is ready to get his World Title back. They can strike him down but he’ll be back even stronger. He’s the Obi-Wan Kenobi of Impact Wrestling.

Knockouts Title: Allie vs. Sienna

Allie is defending and Sienna jumps her before the bell. A crossbody is pulled out of the air and Sienna gets two off a slam. Forearms work a bit better for Allie and a Codebreaker (actually called that) gets two. Sienna gets the same off a discus lariat but Allie slips out of the AK47 and superkicks her down to retain at 3:55.

Rating: D+. What happened to Sienna? She used to be the most dangerous woman in the division and now she’s losing clean in about four minutes. On the other hand, Allie is on a roll and even though it’s a year late, it’s nice to see her getting to showcase her skills. There’s a ton of value in Allie and it’s about time Impact is giving her a chance.

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to try and reconcile with Allie, only to call her Laurel by mistake. Allie’s sideways glare is great. Sutter proposes and Allie doesn’t seem impressed, but the debuting Su Yung comes in from behind and beats her down. A twisting Samoan Driver leaves Allie laying, much to Sutter’s delight.

Ethan Carter III says he’s going to get the World Title shot but a bunch of people walk by, saying he’ll be fired.

Classic Clip: Abyss vs. Mick Foley in Monster’s Ball from Bound For Glory 2009.

Eddie arrives at the hotel (of course with cameras waiting on him), runs into the room and finds….his wife safe in bed. Then HE LEAVES, only to bump into Sami Callihan (dressed as a maid) so the brawl can break out. Sami gets the better of it and Alisha comes out to check on Eddie, earning herself the thumbs down from Callihan. I’m still trying to get over Eddie LEAVING HIS WIFE IN A HOTEL ROOM WHEN A GROUP OF CRAZY PEOPLE ARE STALKING HER.

The announcers preview the rest of the show.

We recap Jimmy Jacobs/Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park, who has become Abyss again. Tonight it’s Monster’s Ball.

Abyss vs. Kongo Kong

Anything goes and Abyss has James Mitchell in his corner. Abyss wins an early slugout but Kong runs him over and pounds away. A trashcan to the head puts Kong on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Kong getting slammed off the top and Abyss grabbing the bag of tacks.

Rating: D. If this is their big idea to make Kong into the next big thing, they need to go back to the drawing board. By that I mean they need to get rid of Kong and find anyone else because he’s not going to work no matter what they try. Next up likely means a World Title chase because that’s what would annoy me the most.

It’s time to open the briefcases so Williams, Moose, Drake and Carter are in the ring.

First up is Eli who gets….a Tag Team Title shot. Drake: “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Next up is Williams who gets….an X-Division Title shot. He seems happy.

Before we open the final two cases, Moose says he’s winning. Carter says see you never Moose because he’s about to be fired. It’s Moose getting the World Title shot and Carter has reality set in very quickly. He’s frozen in place and can’t open the case, eventually saying that’s not his case. It’s Ishimori’s case but JB opens it instead.

Carter thinks it’s a joke and calls this whole thing a dumb idea. Is King of the Mountain next? He’s held this company on his perfectly symmetrical back for years now. Carter goes into a crazed rant about all of his accomplishments, including being Dixie Carter’s nephew. He finally calms down….and then beats JB up with the briefcase. Brian Cage comes in for the save and it’s a Drill Claw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The two main focal points of this show were the Feast or Fired reveals and Monster’s Ball. That would come down to a major result that was spoiled nearly two months ago and a match with one of the most low rent acts I’ve ever seen in this or any other company. What exactly were they expecting to work about this show? Yung’s debut was good and the opening segment worked well, but other than that, this was a pretty lame show.

Results

Trevor Lee b. Fallah Bahh – Rollup

Matt Sydal b. Rohit Raju – Shooting star press

Allie b. Sienna – Superkick

Kongo Kong b. Abyss – Top rope splash

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Once every so often, a personality steps between the ropes of the squared circle and transcends the wrestling business.

Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, John Cena and Dave Batista; every era and generation has a select few who became notable to the wider world for more than just lacing up a pair of boots.

They are living legends – WWE Hall of Famers or sure-fire bets to one day take their place among the pantheon of wrestling greats. It is easy to quantify their in-ring legacies through championships amassed, Royal Rumble wins or other accomplishments and pay-per-views headlined. Consider this though; there wouldn’t be a WWE Hall of Fame without Andre the Giant.

Just a Gimmick?

Nicknamed “The Eighth Wonder of the World” and billed from Grenoble in the French Alps, he was actually born and raised in Coulommiers – a commune 60 kilometers east of Paris. A postwar farm boy and school dropout who suffered from gigantism from an early age became one of the most popular wrestlers on the planet. Andre the Giant notably competed in Europe and Africa, the Far East and Down Under, and throughout the Americas.

For all that globetrotting, Andre’s actual accolades in wrestling are modest by modern standards. He was no 16-time world champion like Flair or Cena, winning the old WWF title once before quickly surrendering it to Ted DiBiase. Andre’s was a gimmick – the gargantuan monster – that didn’t need a run with the belt to enhance it. The only other notable example like him in this respect is The Undertaker.

Andre enjoyed greater success in terms of championships in tag team wrestling, holding a couple of belts in the NWA with “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. He also earned notoriety in Japan when partnering Giant Baba and won the WWF tag titles with Haku, who, in his own way, was a trailblazer for current wrestling stars with Pacific Island heritage like The Usos and Roman Reigns.

And the critics? It seems Andre the Giant divided opinion or at least drew different responses at various stages of his career. He won awards for most popular (1977 and 1982), hated (1988) and embarrassing (1989) wrestler of the year.  Twice involved in Pro Wrestling Illustrated’s match of the year (1981 and 1988), Andre also received the less desirable honor of the Wrestling Observer Newsletter’s worst worked bouts (1987 and 1989). They also named him worst wrestler of the year on three occasions.

A Giant Legacy

The 25th anniversary of Andre’s death came in January – coincidentally, one day before this year’s Royal Rumble event – and that milestone is reason enough to ask what his legacy is.

First, who can forget the “Andre the Giant has a posse” stickers designed by renowned street artist Shepard Fairey? He also starred as Fezzik (a giant, no less) in the cult 1987 film The Princess Bride. There is now possibly a biopic and definitely a documentary in development too, as WWE and HBO team up to tell the story of his life.

Andre has also been immortalized in more than a dozen WWE computer games as a playable character. The wrestler routinely appears in the annual WWE 2K series of games and has a starring role in the much older WWE All Stars for the PSP. A variety of online game types feature Andre as the running theme, and he’s listed as “The Irresistible Force” in the Android and iOS app WWE Champions, a title that melds signature grappling moves with modern match-three gameplay.

And the tangible things just keep on coming. There are countless action figures in his image and the annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal that has featured on the WrestleMania undercard for the last four years. Wrestlers not otherwise engaged in a program at “The Showcase of the Immortals” compete for an eponymous trophy of Andre in his signature arms folded pose.

The Big Show is a previous winner of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal and that is where his legacy starts to enter the ether. Paul Wight resembles Andre in size and stature, even suffering from gigantism during his youth too. When debuting in WCW more than two years after Andre’s death, Wight played his kayfabe son and was simply called The Giant.

In WWE’s main rival creating this character and putting Show straight into a feud with his storyline father’s old nemesis Hulk Hogan, Andre was the basis upon which an entire storyline was founded. That shows not only how respected he was, but how much he was missed as a monster attraction and crowd draw.

That Body Slam

If you haven’t seen that iconic wrestling moment with The Hulkster taking Andre off his feet with the body slam from WrestleMania III, then watch it and you’ll realize that spot is a gift that keeps on giving. Cesaro directly invoked the spirit of it and paid homage to Andre when doing the very same move to Big Show in the inaugural Memorial Battle Royal at WrestleMania XXX.

There had been big wrestlers before Andre the Giant. Big wrestlers who had got over too. Without him, though, would there have ever been a Big Show? The storyline son angle is something WWE is still using today too, with Monday Night RAW general manager Kurt Angle and Jason Jordan.

Another comparison besides Paul Wight, and arguably a better one in other ways, is The Great Khali – a foreign wrestler coming to the USA from abroad as Andre did and making it big by winning a world title. India is a market the WWE has belatedly tried to cultivate properly through Jinder Mahal’s near six-month WWE Championship reign in 2017 and an end-of-year tour of the Subcontinent.

Whether Andre the Giant really was a trailblazer for massive athletes becoming wrestlers or just one of many that paved the way, so that today we have “The Monster Among Men” Braun Strowman on a seemingly never-ending push doesn’t matter. The similarities are there and the debate is one for internet forums. Strowman’s own in-ring performance is nothing flashy, his moveset limited, but it’s believable his basic offense – just like Andre’s before him – hurts opponents.

It seems apt to end this in-depth look at Andre the Giant and his legacy with where it began; the WWE Hall of Fame. He was so beloved that it was created for him as the initial inductee. Over 100 wrestlers have followed Andre into it since, including former tag partner Hillbilly Jim for the class of 2018.

Now, it is very easy to downplay this. Popular sports in America all have a hall of fame. It’s easy to say Andre’s death was just a convenient time for the then WWF to establish theirs, but that doesn’t change the fact his passing was the catalyst for recognizing wrestlers – living or otherwise. Nothing else highlights the Giant’s legacy quite like it.

Geez, you’re ready to talk about Ring of Honor and then this happens.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-oh-yes/

IMG Credit: WWE

NXT
Date: March 21, 2018
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Nigel McGuinness, Percy Watson

We’re in the home stretch towards Takeover: New Orleans and you can guess most of the card. NXT knows how to set up things down the last few weeks and I have no doubt that they’ll pull it off again. We also have more from the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic, which could be a lot of fun by the end. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Tommaso Ciampa, still without music, to open the show. The fans have their Johnny Gargano signs to annoy him even more, which are a great touch. Ciampa has a mic and again the fans won’t let him get a word out. After being cut off over and over, Ciampa finally shouts that HE’S GONE. Gargano isn’t walking down the aisle because he’s gone.

Ciampa drops the mic and heads to the floor to glare at the fans, eventually ripping up the Johnny signs. He pulls away one from a fan….and it’s Johnny Gargano. The fight is on until security pulls him away as Ciampa looks like he’s seen a ghost. Johnny is carried out into the parking lot as the fans want to see them fight. Another great segment here and a moment that needed to happen.

Charly Caruso recaps the first round of the Dusty Classic. There is a change to announce as well: Tyler Bate has injured his knee so Moustache Mountain has to be replaced. A surprise team will replace them tonight. Roderick Strong will be one member, but his partner will be revealed later.

The Undisputed Era laughs off the idea of Strong winning anything in NXT. Adam Cole is so confident that he’d like Kyle O’Reilly and Bobby Fish to stay in the back for his match tonight. In other words, Fish is injured.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic First Round: Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch vs. Roderick Strong/???

Ok so it’s later and the partner is…..Pete Dunne. Well that works. Strong and Lorcan hit the mat to start with Roderick grabbing something like an STF to keep the pace slow. Burch comes in and gets dragged over to the corner with Dunne coming in to crank on the arm. The twisting only gets Dunne so far as Burch takes the leg out and tries a kneebar, drawing in both partners as we go to a break.

Back with Dunne still working on the arm, followed by a shot to the face to send Burch into the corner. Stereo chops get two on Danny but he comes right back with a middle rope dropkick. Lorcan comes back in for a running boot to the face and a running European uppercut gets two on Strong.

The running Blockbuster gets the same as the pace stays white hot. Everything breaks down again and Strong dives into another uppercut. Burch throws Strong with a release German suplex and Lorcan suplexes Strong onto him in a big crash. Dunne gets caught in a Crossface but Strong kicks Lorcan onto Danny to break up the hold. A blind tag brings Strong back in and End of Heartache finishes Burch at 10:15.

Rating: B-. Dunne didn’t get to shine as much as usual here but it was still a heck of a hard hitting match with all four looking good. Strong and Dunne could make for a solid team built on respect, though I’m not sure how far they’ll go outside of the tournament. We got in a good match here, but it makes me want to see Dunne on his own more than anything else.

Ember Moon vs. Aliyah

Non-title. Aliyah’s headscissors on the mat doesn’t get her very far so she pulls Ember out of the corner and onto the mat for some more success. Cue Shayna Baszler to do commentary, with her feet on the table of course. Aliyah grabs a chinlock for a bit before Moon counters a crossbody into a Samoan drop. A flip clothesline in the corner sets up the Eclipse for the pin at 2:57. Nothing match and little more than a way to have the women on screen together.

Raul Mendoza comes out for a match but gets jumped by Andrade Cien Almas. Andrade and Zelina Vega get in the ring with the former ranting in Spanish about how great of a champion he is. Almas wants Aleister Black to face him next week and to show him some respect.

Lars Sullivan is back next week, along with Aleister Black and Almas going face to face.

William Regal promises an announcement next week to change the landscape of NXT forever.

Adam Cole vs. Kassius Ohno

Ohno grabs an arm to start but gets run over by a shoulder. A big boot to the chest breaks up a leapfrog and there’s a heck of a backsplash to crush Cole in a painful looking landing. Cole gets sent outside and comes up limping but of course it’s just goldbricking, meaning a jumping enziguri rocks Ohno again.

Back with Cole kicking him down for two and getting the same off a neckbreaker. We hit the chinlock for a bit before a Backstabber gets another two. Cole tries a charge and runs right into a punch to the jaw to get us right back to even. Ohno’s big boot into a slam into a legdrop (well he is wearing yellow) give him two of his own and Cole’s head gets knocked off by the cyclone kick.

They forearm the heck out of each other until the Last Shot gives Cole two more. Cole’s Shining Wizard is reversed and the High Tension Elbow knocks him out onto the ramp. Back in and three straight superkicks set up the Last Shot and the running knee to the back of the head (called the Last Shot here) end Ohno at 13:00.

Rating: C+. Ohno is at his best here when he’s putting someone over and making them look awesome. That’s what we got here and the match was a lot of fun with Cole talking trash and hanging in a fight at the end. This gives Cole the little bit of momentum back that he’s been lacking as of late so hopefully this leads somewhere else for him.

Overall Rating: B. They’re getting closer to New Orleans and most of the card is already set. I’m liking the idea of the NXT Title match more and more every week as it’s starting to get out of the shadow of Gargano vs. Ciampa. Having Gargano show up again made for a better show as well, as it was a necessary step to take. Good show here, as they’re starting to make the fans’ mouths water again.

Results

Roderick Strong/Pete Dunne b. Oney Lorcan/Danny Burch – End of Heartache to Burch

Ember Moon b. Aliyah – Eclipse

Adam Cole b. Kassius Ohno – Last Shot

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: October 20, 2003
Location: Casey Plaza, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s still all about Goldberg and the bounty but this time he has a slightly better opponent with Shawn Michaels getting his shot. We’re also getting ready for Survivor Series in a few weeks, meaning things should be picking up in short order. Then again, that’s never stopped WWE before. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

In Memory of Hawk.

We recap the bounty angle, which hopefully picks up speed tonight.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Steve Austin to get things going. Austin came here earlier today and found a note. Someone wants him in the ring at nine o’clock, which means there’s someone back there who wants to physically provoke him. This brings out Test, on crutches, with Stacy Keibler in toe. Test yells at her for taking too long to hold the door open and says he sent the note. He’d love to beat Austin up right now but can’t because of the broken foot. He wants an apology for the injury and another one for what happened to Stacy last week.

Austin gives both of them a middle finger instead and hopes Stacy learned a lesson: what Austin offers you a beer, you either decline with a smile or drink until you pass out. Stacy is about to respond but Test tells her not to speak unless he tells her to. Austin would love to beat up any kind of a man, including a crippled man. A fight is teased but Test won’t provoke him. Instead, Stacy shoves Test into Austin and you know what that means.

Before beer can be consumed, Eric Bischoff comes up on screen to mock Austin for not being able to hit anyone. Austin agrees, so Bischoff suggests they assemble teams for Survivor Series with that rule being gone vs. Austin being gone. The Board of Directors has already approved of this and Bischoff already has Chris Jericho and Scott Steiner signed up for his team. Jericho asks Austin if he’s in and of course the match is on. Stacy intercepts the beer and drinks it herself to Lawler’s delight.

Shane McMahon is waiting for Kane. Egads get us to Survivor Series already so this thing can be done.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. La Resistance

The Dudleys are defending and have dedicated the match to Hawk. D-Von and Conway start things off but a blind tag allows Dupree to come in with a dropkick to take over. The flying shoulder is mistimed and turns into a flying forearm instead but it still manages to send Dupree outside. Conway forearms D-Von down though and Dupree adds a Hennig necksnap. He throws in the dance too and of course Bubba is ready to kill him as a result. Bubba is likely more of a Saturday Night Fever fan.

It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until D-Von hits an enziguri (what an odd visual) to escape for the hot tag. That means a Flip Flop and Fly but D-Von gets crotched on top so the French guys can take over again. The double spinebuster gets two and there’s the USA chant. For some reason that doesn’t fire Conway up as he’s taken down with a reverse implant DDT. The Doomsday Device retains the titles.

Rating: D. The ending was a nice moment as you can imagine how big of an influence the Legion of Doom was on the Dudleys. La Resistance is better with Conway in the lineup but it’s still not like the team is anything more than a middle of the pack act at best. Thankfully they didn’t do another title change here and the Doomsday Device gave me a bit of a smile.

Bischoff gives Jericho and Steiner a pep talk before their tag match tonight. An argument breaks out over who is the leader. That’s the last thing Bischoff wants but Jericho says it’ll be fine.

Evolution promises that the bounty will be collected tonight. Booker T. comes in and says he’s ready to make a statement because the path to the Intercontinental Title begins right now. Randy Orton doesn’t buy it but Booker wants to fight right now.

Booker T. vs. Randy Orton

Joined in progress with Booker chopping Orton, in street clothes, up against the ropes. A hot shot and the backbreaker give Orton two and we hit the double arm crank. Booker is right back with a spinning kick to the face and the side kick but Orton takes the countout.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match though I could go for seeing more of these two together. Booker being back is a nice addition to the show but it’s not going to matter if he doesn’t have anyone to fight. That being said, he’d be a good choice for the Survivor Series team which is a fine way to get him back to speed.

Post match, Booker volunteers to be on Austin’s team. Makes perfect sense.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. And never mind as Mark Henry jumps Goldberg during his big entrance. No match.

Post break, Austin finds out what happened (because I guess he was petting his dog) and is ready to go throw Henry out of the building. The match is uncertain.

Chris Jericho/Scott Steiner vs. Rob Van Dam/Lance Storm

Steiner and Van Dam start things off with Scott saying Rob’s arms “don’t have diddly squat”. Those are fighting words so Rob kicks away, followed by a crossbody for an early two. The cartwheel moonsault gets two more and it’s off to Storm for a leg lariat. Jericho comes in and the silence when Storm is on offense is very noticeable. Storm escapes a wristlock by standing on the ropes and backflipping out, meaning it’s time for some posing.

A Steiner distraction lets Jericho knock Storm into the barricade though, followed by a loud whip into the steps. We hit the chinlock as Steiner is already running out of offense. The announcers recap the show as Storm makes his comeback, only to get suplexed right back down. As usual it’s a good looking suplex from Steiner and far more effective when he only uses one. Jericho comes in and does some pushups, followed by the loud chops in the corner.

That’s fine with Storm, who jumps from the mat to the top rope for a back elbow to the jaw. That kind of thing never stops impressing me. Van Dam comes in for the kicks and a northern lights suplex for two on Jericho. The bouncing kick is left short so Jericho grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for two of his own. Everything breaks down with Storm diving onto Steiner and Van Dam flipping out of a Walls attempt. Steiner gets in a chair to Van Dam’s back though and the Lionsault is good for the pin.

Rating: C. I’m still a big fan of Storm (that athleticism is very impressive) but having a gimmick of “I’m not boring anymore” isn’t going to work. He’s just not charismatic (which he himself will admit) and I’m not sure how to turn him into a star that fans want to see. I’m not sure how good of a fit he would be on the Survivor Series team, though that’s definitely where the story seems to be going.

The trainer tells Bischoff that Goldberg might not be able to defend the title. Bischoff thinks it’s an act but Goldberg says it’s on.

JR and King pay tribute to Hawk and Stu Hart.

Video on Stu, with Vince narrating.

Flair is on the phone with someone (presumably Teddy Long) and says no money because Goldberg is still up. There’s a backup option though.

Jericho comes up to Trish Stratus in the back and says there’s no need to thank him for last week. Trish says he doesn’t have to be Chris Jericho here and sincerely thanks him for what he did. Last week wasn’t about Austin though, because Jericho really respects her. Things get a little awkward and they leave. I’m really glad we’re finally to this story as it’s always been a personal favorite.

Mark Jindrak and Garrison Cade come in to see Orton about collecting the bounty. They had another idea in mind: beating Orton down and stealing the money. A left hand staggers Orton and the briefcase is stolen.

Post break Orton is panicking when he runs into Flair. Orton doesn’t tell him the truth and says he’ll hang in the back instead of going out there with Flair. Ric wants Orton to show Shawn the money one more time before the title match.

Trish Stratus/Lita vs. Molly Holly/Victoria

Lawler is now referring to Molly as “Molly Hottie”, ignoring those times where he thought she was fat and rather unattractive. Good to see that he found some strong glasses. Trish and Victoria start things off but Molly comes in after just a few seconds. Apparently Trish isn’t a fan of fast tags as she chops Molly in the corner but a Stevie Richards distraction lets the villains take over.

The always cool looking spinning side slam gets two and it’s back to Molly for the same off a swinging neckbreaker. The Molly Go Round misses and that’s enough to bring Lita in. Everything breaks down and Molly gets hiptossed but Stevie sneaks in with a powerbomb to give Victoria the cheap pin on Trish.

Rating: D+. The matches aren’t terrible but it would be nice if someone actually remembered that there’s a title to fight over in this division. I can’t remember the last time Molly defended the thing and I can’t remember the last time she wasn’t considered one of the lower level names in the division, which defeats the point of being a champion. At least there’s a story though, and that’s a lot better than what the division has seen in a long time.

Post match the beatdown stays on with Victoria putting the Women’s Title over Lita’s face. The slingshot legdrop is loaded up but Christian runs in for the save. And the plot thickens.

We look back at Henry attacking Goldberg.

Maven vs. Ric Flair

Maven isn’t waiting for the WOOing and decks Flair in the jaw to start us off. A backdrop on the floor keeps Flair in trouble but the referee grabs Maven’s punch. You know, which is done so consistently. Flair gets in a cheap shot to take over and it’s time to rip the skin off of Maven’s chest in the corner. We hit the chinlock as JR says Cade and Jindrak took advantage of an opportunity. There’s the knee drop but Maven pops up and wins a slugout to near silence. Flair is of course one step ahead though and grabs a rollup with trunks for the fast pin.

Rating: D. Now can we drop the Maven experiment please? There’s no upside to Maven here and he’s nothing more than a jobber to the stars with big eyebrows. The wrestling isn’t any good and losing to Flair in about four minutes isn’t going to make the fans care about his lame offense and low level charisma.

In the back, Orton finally tells Flair what happened but they know they can figure it out before HHH kills them. Cops come running up and we follow them to Kane.

Here’s a cut up Kane in the arena with the cops guarding the entrance. This whole thing with Shane started with Linda, who thought she could stop the monster. Everyone has thought they can control her but Linda found out differently. Linda was squirming for her very life and screaming no, but Kane learned a long time ago that no means yes. Kane likes hurting people and it felt so good.

Now Shane thinks he can stop Kane, but throwing him into a burning dumpster didn’t stop him, just like crashing a limo didn’t do it either. Kane will do anything he wants to Shane and there is no line that he won’t cross. Shane is done at Survivor Series but his pain has just begun.

Post break, HHH comes in to yell at Flair and Orton but Ric blames it all on Orton in a funny bit. HHH actually hands Orton the briefcase again and says don’t let it happen again. They’ll be watching the match in the back and HHH guarantees that the bounty is collected tonight.

Raw World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Goldberg

Shawn is challenging. Goldberg shoves him down with ease to start so Shawn starts sticking and moving. Some kicks to the knees and a dropkick to the side of the head have Goldberg in trouble but he’s right back with a gorilla press. Shawn takes a breather on the floor and he manages to shove Goldberg over the top in a surprising bit of power. Back in and Goldberg launches him into the corner but gets forearmed down. The power vs. speed stuff is working so far.

A powerslam cuts Shawn off but Goldberg is too banged up from the Henry attack. Goldberg scores with a military press but the spear hit the referee because of course it does. The superkick connects (see my previous because of course it does) to put everyone down. We get a replacement referee for the double count, despite Shawn only having been slammed a few times. Cue the returning Batista to send Shawn into the steps as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and that’s a shame as Shawn would seem to be someone capable of getting the best out of Goldberg. Batista returning is a great thing though as the three man Evolution really wasn’t working. Hopefully he’s gotten better in his time away, as the look is only going to take him so far.

The Batista Bomb plants Goldberg and Batista Pillmanizes Goldberg’s ankle. Evolution comes out and hands Batista the money to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Much better show than in recent weeks, though that’s not the hardest goal to achieve. The big thing here was they moved things forward towards Survivor Series with Batista returning to injure Goldberg and the announcement of the big elimination match. The wrestling was really pretty lame here but the storytelling was good, which is what matters a lot more in this case. Not a good show, but a step in the right direction.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Smackdown
Date: March 20, 2018
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

And then, Daniel Bryan was cleared to medically return to the ring. I’m really not sure what else there is to say here as now we wait to see what this means for Bryan at Wrestlemania. There’s a good chance that he gets the spot in a tag match with Shane McMahon against Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn but maybe it’s something else. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a look at Daniel Bryan’s retirement in February 2016 in an emotional moment. Then news broke today that Bryan was cleared to return to the ring after FINALLY being medically cleared. I think we have a theme for tonight.

Here’s Bryan to open things up. He needs to address the actions of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens from last week….but they’re not here yet so we need to talk about something else. Bryan talks about being grateful for everything he has, which was the theme of his retirement speech. He has the greatest fans in the world and an amazing, beautiful wife who stood by him the entire way. It was her who told him to keep going to see specialist after specialist to get him back in the ring. Fans: “THANK YOU BRIE!”

Then when he got depressed, he decided to fight and it was Brie who told him to fight for his dreams. Eventually he was told he was cleared and those dreams became a reality. Next, Bryan needs to thank all of the doctors who kept giving him clearances until the WWE doctors finally did the same. Bryan isn’t sure when he’ll be back in the ring so here’s a WRESTLEMANIA chant to give him an idea. No announcement is made but the fans (including myself) are thrilled.

Bryan is looking for Sami and Owens but finds Ziggler, who is rather condescending about the return. Ziggler can’t wait to beat him and Bryan wishes him luck trying.

Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Rusev

AJ Styles is on commentary. They waste no time in trading the hard kicks with Rusev throwing him into the corner and unloading. A spinwheel kick drops Nakamura for two and we take a break. Back with Nakamura firing off kicks, including one to the side of a kneeling Rusev’s head. Rusev gets in a kick to the head of his own for two so Nakamura goes for a cross armbreaker. That’s rolled through but Nakamura grabs the leg for the rollup pin at 7:50.

Rating: C. It’s nice to have Nakamura get a pin but they haven’t exactly put their foot on the gas to get him to Wrestlemania. That and having him win in less than eight minutes with nearly half of that being in a commercial isn’t your traditional build. At least Nakamura is in the ring though and that helps a lot.

Post match Rusev and Aiden English beat Nakamura down and AJ takes his time getting up. Nakamura saves himself and stares down at AJ.

Video on Asuka.

Charlotte is in the back when Natalya comes in to say she knows how scared Charlotte is. A match is set up for later. I know I mention this a lot but Natalya is one of the weakest talkers in the company today. It’s like a bad high school play.

Styles and Nakamura run into each other with AJ mocking him for saying he’ll win. Nakamura says he’ll win with a knee to the face.

Baron Corbin vs. Tye Dillinger

Both are in the Andre battle royal. Dillinger chops away but gets knocked down with one hard shot. Graves buries Dillinger on commentary, asking about why he wastes every opportunity he receives. Corbin slides under the ropes but gets caught with a kick to the face. Back up and Corbin can’t hit End of Days (as in couldn’t pick Dillinger up for it in a nasty looking botch). Instead he sends Dillinger outside and then tries again a few seconds later, this time connecting for the pin at 2:31.

Charlotte vs. Natalya

Non-title. Charlotte gets two off an early suplex and a bridging rollup gets the same. The Figure Four necklock rolling flips keep Natalya in trouble and a kick to the chest puts her on the floor. Back from a break with Charlotte fighting out of an abdominal stretch and throwing her over with a t-bone suplex. A big boot looks to set up the Figure Eight but Natalya crawls into the corner.

That earns her a Downward Spiral into the buckle, only to have Natalya come back with a Batista Bomb out of the corner for a close two. The Sharpshooter is broken up in a hurry so it’s the discus lariat for two on Charlotte instead. They head outside where the spear connects and Charlotte slaps on the Figure Four back inside.

That’s rolled over though and Charlotte lands in the ropes but bends backwards over the apron to really crank on the leg. It’s fine enough to superplex Charlotte down for a big crash….and here’s Carmella! Charlotte is up with a boot to Carmella though, allowing Natalya to roll her up for the pin at 13:09. The cash-in was never official.

Rating: B. These two were beating the heck out of each other and then that stupid briefcase brought me right back down. I’m so sick of the thing hanging over everything because Heaven forbid we don’t do it every single year. Anyway, Charlotte losing doesn’t make sense here as it’s NATALYA of all people. She’s lost to Charlotte time after time but needs to get a pin here? Really?

Jimmy Uso vs. Harper

Rating: D+. This was the right call again as the Usos continue to get closer but still can’t beat the Brothers. Harper and Rowan look like the most awesome monsters in years, but they need to actually announce the match already. We’re two weeks away and the title match still isn’t set. What are they waiting on anymore?

Here are Jinder Mahal and Sunil Singh to talk about Mahal being added to…..ok I give up. As I type this, Mahal is bragging about being added to the match and OH DEAR GOODNESS I DO NOT CARE! It’s the same horrible promo he’s cut every single week about how rich and awesome he is and how he deserves this and I cannot even pretend to care anymore. Roode and Orton come out, they talk a lot, a brawl nearly breaks out but they all stare at each other.

Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan vs. Naomi/Becky Lynch

All four are in the battle royal. Becky gets double teamed in the corner to start and Logan adds a running knee to the face for two. It’s off to a cobra clutch for a bit before a spinebuster has Lynch in more trouble. She’s fine enough to throw Logan over the top but Ruby Riott tosses her back inside. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Logan tap at 2:35 as Naomi cuts Morgan off.

Bryan is told that Zayn and Owens are here so he’ll meet them in the ring.

Back from a break and Bryan is in the ring to see Owens and Zayn. Owens talks about taking their time getting here but Shane McMahon wasn’t going to be here so it wasn’t a big deal. Then they heard what happened and got over here as soon as they could. They had to get out of a speeding ticket but it was easy because everyone is dumber in Texas. Sami is happy with the news because Bryan has always been their biggest fan.

It’s a classic case of good things happening to good people and any show with the three of them on it is the dream show. It sounds like a dream team, but that’s not why Bryan wanted them out here. Bryan shows a clip of the two of them attacking Shane to end last week’s show, which they find funny. That’s not cool with Bryan but Sami says Shane deserved it. Bryan thinks they don’t get it.

Shane was right: Bryan was living vicariously through the two of them, but last week was more than getting a little carried away. The thing is Sami and Kevin won because Shane agreed that he had gone too far. They had a match set up for Wrestlemania, which was all they had ever wanted. Imagine the three of them being told that at an armory in front of 300 people ten years ago.

They would have had Bryan in his corner to run the show but they still assaulted Shane. Bryan doesn’t get it but he’s been fired from this company twice and grown from it each time. The two of them are fired and are so shocked that they can’t speak. Owens goes to leave but decks Bryan, followed by some screaming that Bryan did this.

Bryan fights back with kicks in the corner and a snap German suplex to Sami, followed by the running corner dropkicks. Referees come out as Owens takes the YES Kicks but Sami gets back up for the save. Bryan eats a Helluva Kick and the apron powerbomb makes things even worse to end the show.

Well that worked. This gives you a logical path to the tag match (Sami and Kevin have changed from the men Bryan knew years ago and the attack on Shane was unnecessary) and gives Sami and Kevin a ton of heat at the same time. It’s a good angle, but more than that it’s bizarre to see Bryan taking bumps after two years of just talking. Good segment though and I’m excited for the match.

Overall Rating: C+. This show did what it needed to do as it advanced a bunch of stories towards Wrestlemania. As mentioned though, there’s a lot of stuff you can pencil in but it’s high time to bust out the ink. Bryan being back is a huge deal, but there’s other stuff that needs to be done and WWE is dragging its feet like crazy right now. I don’t get it, but they need to get on with it already.

Results

Shinsuke Nakamura b. Rusev – Rollup

Baron Corbin b. Tye Dillinger – End of Days

Natalya b. Charlotte – Rollup

Harper b. Jimmy Uso – Discus Lariat

Naomi/Becky Lynch b. Sarah Logan/Liv Morgan – Disarm-Her to Morgan

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

https://wrestlingrumors.net/breaking-news-daniel-bryan-medically-cleared-ring-competition/

Well that’s a game changer.  This is one of those things that I never thought I would see.  I don’t know when he’ll be back but if they can get him on Wrestlemania, they would be crazy not to.  Either that or as the big Raw surprise.

IMG Credit: Ring of Honor Wrestling

16^th Anniversary Show
Date: March 9, 2018
Location: Sam’s Town Hotel and Gambling Hall, Sunrise Manor, Nevada
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, Colt Cabana

It’s time for another Ring of Honor pay per view and that can mean a mixed bag of results. The main event this time around is World Champion Dalton Castle defending against Jay Lethal in what should be a good match. Other than that we have the Briscoes defeating the Motor City Machine Guns for the Tag Team Titles. I would say challenging but it’s about as obvious as you can get. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home show if you need a recap.

Pre Show: Women of Honor Title Tournament First Round: Sumie Sakai vs. Hana Kimura

Deonna Purrazzo is on commentary. Kimura is from Stardom in Japan and one half of their Tag Team Champions with her partner Kagetsu, at ringside. Sumie’s offer of a handshake is ignored and Hana pounds her down to start. A whip sends Sakai outside and Kagetsu chokes away like a villain should.

Back in and Hana pounds away, followed by a surfboard with a few presses up and down. A half crab stays on Sakai’s back but she’s still able to counter a suplex into a DDT. Sakai gets two off a bridging belly to back, only to have Kagetsu grab her leg on top. Hana’s brainbuster is good for two but it’s time for some heel miscommunication. The team is sent into each other and Sakai dives onto both of them in a good visual. Back in and Hana hits a Helluva Kick for two but Sakai grabs something like Cross Rhodes for the pin at 7:59.

Rating: C. I’m not wild on a match like this as you’re basically expected to watch the YouTube matches and Stardom to know who these people are. Sakai has been around Ring of Honor for a long time now and other than the fact that she’s a wrestler and from Japan, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about her. That’s the case with most of the women’s division and that’s not good. Work on that and the division will get better in short order.

Post match Sakai gets beaten down by both villains.

Pre Show: Women of Honor Title Tournament Quarterfinals: Brandi Rhodes vs. Tenille Dashwood

That would be Emma if you’ve already forgotten and Mandy Leon is on commentary. Tenille easily takes the rookie Brandi down for some early near falls but gets taken down by a shoulder. Brandi points to her head….and gets tripped down with Tenille not even getting off the mat. Point to Dashwood.

Back up and Brandi runs the ropes for a crisscross but Tenille just stops, leaving her to run on her own. Brandi slaps her in the face and that means the beating is on, including a double leg takedown and some right hands. A chase goes a bit better for Brandi and an awkward back elbow to the face staggers Tenille. Brandi goes with a short armscissors followed by a Sling Blade for two.

Rating: D. This really wasn’t good as it was clear Brandi had no business being in the ring with someone like Dashwood. I get why Brandi is getting a push (gorgeous smile, married to Cody, has a ton of potential) but she’s REALLY not there yet and it’s showing badly. They did play up the idea that she was in over her head but that’s not exactly how you want to be presenting a title tournament match.

Post match Brandi won’t shake hands and leaves with Leon.

The opening video is presented like a short documentary with wrestlers talking about their favorite memories over the last sixteen years. It switches up to a standard opening video for a very nice setup.

Bully Ray is in the ring and welcomes us to the show, promising a great night. He’s very good in the role of a hype man.

The announcers run down the card that we’ve already paid to see.

Hiromu Takahashi vs. Flip Gordon

They fight over a wristlock to start, which really needs to stop being the opening to every match in so many promotions. Gordon does his nip ups to avoid everything but Takahashi just dances instead of wasting his time. Smart man there. A shoulder drops Takahashi and there’s a hand walk into a headscissors out to the floor.

Flip hits a non-flipping suicide dive but gets the bad end of a chase with Takahashi dropkicking him off the apron. Back in and Takahashi starts in on the arm but now it’s time to start with his stuffed doll, which is totally a thing in ultra serious Japan. Thankfully that goes nowhere and we hit a figure four necklock to keep Flip in trouble. Back up and Flip hits some forearms, followed by the running shooting star for two. That move is so overused anymore. A low superkick into the Falcon Arrow gets two more and it’s time to head up.

The 450 misses and Takahashi snaps off a Canadian Destroyer, only to get superkicked before Flip goes down. Gordon wins a slugout with another superkick and the Star Spangled Stunner for two. Another 450 misses and Takahashi Death Valley Drives him into the corner, followed by a German suplex for a near fall of his own. A superkick sets up the Time Bomb to end Gordon at 12:22.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here as the company clearly sees something in Gordon but can’t put him over a pretty big name like Takahashi. You can tell Gordon is going to be a big deal in the near future and thankfully he has some more things going for him than just high flying offense. He needs more polish, but what he has so far is working well enough.

Quick recap of Punishment Martinez vs. Marty Scurll. Marty wanted to be #1 contender and tried to talk Martinez into giving him a title shot if he won the title. Martinez gave him a chokeslam so tonight we’re having a #1 contenders match.

Marty Scurll vs. Punishment Martinez

Scurll jumps him before the bell and tries the Ghostbuster but Martinez throws it off with ease. The big flip dive to the floor rocks Marty and a curb stomp gets two. It’s too early for the chokeslam so Marty chases the referee to the floor instead. Marty kicks him in the leg and hits a tornado DDT but has to escape a Last Ride attempt. The chickenwing is shrugged off and a full nelson faceplant drops Marty again. They’re burning the mat up so far (at least by their standards) and I’m rather pleasantly surprised.

Back up and Marty breaks up a springboard by kicking the ropes out, banging up Martinez’s knee again in the process. A running knee to the knee (not the smartest idea in the world) allows Marty to go outside and grab a bag, which is quickly taken away. Martinez hits a HUGE dive over the top to take Marty and security down and a curb stomp onto the apron….doesn’t seem to do much damage. Well to be fair it is Ring of Honor.

It’s table time but the springboard flip dive only hits table as Marty is somehow alive after a curb stomp onto the apron. Back in and Marty gets two off a piledriver and it’s more superkicks, followed some hard stomps to the head. Martinez pops up again (to be fair, that’s what a monster should be doing) so Marty loads up the powder, only to settle for a low blow and the rollup pin at 10:32.

Rating: C+. That’s more like it and you can pencil in Marty for the title shot at Supercard of Honor. I really could go for him winning the title, if nothing else for the sake of adding another issue tot he Bullet Club as Marty would be the only one holding a major singles title. Martinez is going to be fine as he can pop back up with the monster stuff and chokeslam people in have to recharge.

We recap the TV Title match. Silas Young cheated to steal the title at Final Battle but Kenny King won it back on TV. Tonight is the rubber match in a pretty decent feud.

TV Title: Kenny King vs. Silas Young

King, the hometown boy with his daughter in the front row, is defending while Young has the Beer City Bruiser in his corner. Young slaps away a handshake offer and flips out of a snapmare. A dropkick puts King down and Silas takes a lap despite being in control. Back in and Young shoulders him down again but King grabs a trip into a Last Chancery. As usual it doesn’t last long so King is up with a hiptoss and a slam. Those are kind of a downgrade after a hold like a Last Chancery.

The announcers talk about Bob Holly as Silas gets forearmed in the face but still manages to break up a springboard. A chinlock doesn’t last long so King gets thrown through the ropes and into a cameraman for a different kind of crash. Back in and King reverses a suplex into one that goes over the top, putting both guys on the floor in a heap. Just like their previous match, they’re not exactly following a standard pattern here and I’m not sure how well it’s working.

A spinning kick to the face knocks Young outside again and now the dive hits him instead of the hardworking crew. Back in and a high crossbody gives the champ two but Young gets the same off a spinebuster. Neither guy can hit the finisher so Young settles for the springboard moonsault for two instead. The ref gets bumped and OF COURSE Silas hits Misery a few seconds later, giving him a delayed two. I’m really, really over that trope. As expected, King hits a quick Royal Flush to retain.

Rating: C. I still don’t like these two together but it’s nice to get this done once and for all. King is turning into a nice midcard act and someone who could be moved up the card with a big feud. He has the natural charisma and the athleticism can go along with it. Young needed to hold the title a little longer, but at least he got to win something.

Post match AUSTIN ARIES comes out with his belt collection, saying he’s never won the ROH TV Title. That’s a challenge, and odds are it’s going down in New Orleans.

Long recap of So Cal Uncensored vs. Bullet Club. So Cal Uncensored seems sick of dealing with the Club on top of the promotion (preach it brother) and had the Six Man Tag Team Titles won via cheating, only to have new enforcer Bully Ray restart the match. Tonight it’s a street fight for the titles.

Six Man Tag Team Titles: So Cal Uncensored vs. Young Bucks/Adam Page

The Bucks and Page are defending. The champs dive onto So Cal to start and it’s already time for an assisted dropkick to stagger Daniels. A buckle bomb into stereo kicks to the head have Daniels in more trouble and a chair is brought inside. Page drops Sky onto the chair and scores with a dropsault for good measure. Sky’s misfortune continues with Page toss powerbombing him onto the ramp.

Thankfully Sky is back in with a kendo stick to save Kazarian from a belt whipping but the beating continues, including a shooting star off the apron onto Daniels. Kazarian is busted open as the Bucks pull a table out. Daniels is up to shove Matt through said table though and So Cal pops up to triple team Nick. A slingshot hurricanrana to the floor drops Page and Nick gets crotches with the kendo stick.

Sky sticks Daniels by mistake but Matt gets pulled into a cutter to keep him down. Stereo dragon sleepers have the Bucks in trouble but it’s Page coming in with a trashcan lid for the save. Page’s belt with nails sticking out is whipped onto Kazarian’s back and somehow doesn’t horribly main him. A backbreaker through the chair keeps Matt in trouble and it’s time to set up some pieces of the barricade on the floor. Nick is back up to save his brother and we hit stereo Sharpshooters.

This time it’s Kazarian making the save so Daniels chokeslams Page and hits the BME for two. Daniels gets thrown through the barricade pieces though and everyone is down again. With Kazarian on the table, it’s time for a ladder. Sky makes a save with a cutter onto the apron but here’s Matt with an elbow off the ladder through Kazarian.

Back in and a 450 onto a trashcan onto Sky gives Nick two with Shane Taylor coming in for the save. Nick can’t slam him (thank goodness) but Page can give Shane the Rite of Passage. It’s Daniels up with some zip ties to tie Page to the post though and Sky hits Matt in the bad back. A Boston crab/dragon sleeper combo is enough to end Matt for the titles at 19:03.

Rating: A-. This was a lot of fun as they didn’t bother trying to waste time with the wrestling. The story called for a wild brawl and that’s what we got. If nothing else it’s fun to see the Bucks lose and having them be in tremendous pain makes things even better. So Cal Uncensored winning makes for a more interesting story as they’re trying to stick around after their contracts expire at the end of the year. Obviously we have a bunch of stuff to get through first, but this was a great start. Very solid match.

Post match the Kingdom comes in to beat the Bucks down until Ray makes the save.

We recap the pre-show matches. Any excuse for more Dashwood is a good thing.

We recap Matt Taven vs. Cody. They both want to be in the World Title hunt so Taven stole Cody’s ring (of honor). Cody turned face as a result, which is actually a better fit for him, at least in the short term.

Cody vs. Matt Taven

There’s no Kingdom with Taven but Cody brings out Brandi and the All-In Bear. Taven bails to the floor to start before coming back inside to exchange standing switches. The threat of Cross Rhodes sends Taven outside again but Cody follows, only to rub his nose against the bear’s. Back in and the American Deathlock has Taven in trouble but a rope is grabbed in short order.

Taven hot shots him to take over and stomps away but heads outside and yells at Brandi and the bear. A dive misses and Cody stays in trouble, this time with a reverse chinlock. Cody’s uppercut gives him a breather but Taven is right back with a Boston crab to stay on the back. Taven tries a Lionsault but hits knees, meaning it’s time for a slugout. Cody’s snap powerslam with a lack of snap gets two and an Alabama Slam gets the same. With nothing else working, the Bear tells Brandi to grab a chair but the referee takes it away.

The distraction lets Taven score with a kendo stick shot, followed by Cross Rhodes for a pretty good near fall. Cody’s Beautiful Disaster is kicked out of the air but the second attempt works just fine. Taven is right back up with the Climax (1%er) for two more and there’s the required ref bump, followed by a double knockdown. Cue the Kingdom to help with a low blow but Cody has a cup. Bully chases the Kingdom away and Cross Rhodes ends Taven at 14:08.

Rating: B-. This was a little more overbooked than it needed to be, though at least the right person won. Cody is actually clicking as a heel but the Kenny Omega match is going to be a huge deal for him. He needs that kind of character development and this is a big step for him going forward.

Post match Cody gets the ring back but the Bear knocks him down. It’s Kenny Omega, who knocks Cody out with a V Trigger. Brandi makes the save and kisses Omega, saying to tell Kota Ibushi that he liked it. You think the fans went a little nuts over that one?

We recap the Tag Team Title match. The Briscoes are all serious again and want their titles back. That means crushing the Motor City Machine Guns in by far the biggest layup on the card.

Tag Team Titles: Briscoes vs. Motor City Machine Guns

The Guns are defending and the fans are very solidly behind the Briscoes. Mark suplexes Sabin for an early two and it’s already time for an early exchange of stomping. Sabin gets over for the tag to Shelley so house can be cleaned in a hurry as everything breaks down. Double superkicks from the apron have Mark in trouble as the announcers go over various former Tag Team Champions.

Mark is right back up with the Blockbuster from the apron but Jay takes a hanging swinging neckbreaker to keep the champs rolling. With Mark busted open, Shelley rakes away at the cut and rubs the blood on the referee’s shirt. Dude at least pay for the laundry. How much do you think these guys make? That’s enough for Jay as he comes back in and kicks the champs in the head.

Shelley is taken outside and manages to dodge a dropkick through the ropes, sending Mark into Jay instead. A hot tag brings in Sabin and the rapid fire double teaming begins. An assisted Sliced Bread #2 sets up the Cradle Shock with Jay making the save. There’s the Dream Sequence but Sabin dropkicks Mark by mistake for a double knockdown. The Froggy Bow gets two on Sabin but the Doomsday Device is countered into a rollup for the same. Jay gets two off the Jay Driller and I’m rather surprised on the kickout. Instead, the Doomsday Device connects to give the Briscoes the titles back.

Rating: B-. This was an obvious ending but at least the Guns were game here. The Briscoes are just on another level right now and there’s no reason to not have the titles back on them. I’m not sure who could take the titles from them anytime soon and if that means more awesome, surly Briscoes, I’m very pleased.

We get the same promo from Castle that we’ve seen twice on TV as of late, with him saying he can feel it in his belly.

Jay Lethal is ready to get his title back and isn’t leaving Las Vegas without it. At least this was something new.

Ring of Honor World Title: Jay Lethal vs. Dalton Castle

Castle is defending and of course we get Big Match Intros. Lethal’s leg trip attempts don’t get him anywhere and Castle is laughing. Castle shoulders him down and an early Bang-a-Rang attempt sends Jay outside. Back in and we hit the peacock pose before Castle forearms him in the corner. Castle blocks some suplex attempts and grabs one of his own to put Lethal in the most trouble yet.

Jay is right back with a trip to take it outside but Castle snaps off a hurricanrana of all things. That might mean a knee injury though and Castle is backpedaling in a hurry. Well as much of a hurry as you can have with a limp. Back in and an enziguri knocks Dalton off the apron for two suicide dives. The third is blocked though and Castle muscles him over for a German suplex on the floor.

Castle can’t follow up so the Boys fan the knee. How can you not chuckle at that? A chop hits the post though and Castle has another injury in short order. A ram into the bell has Castle in even more trouble but he posts Lethal for a breather. Back in and Lethal kicks one Boy off the apron but ring announce Bobby Cruise makes the catch. That earns Bobby a suicide dive so Cabana goes over to check on him.

Castle waistlocks Jay, apparently having recovered while Lethal wasted so much time. The Lethal Combination gives Jay two so it’s off to a torture rack. For a unique change of pace, Lethal flips forward (think a Regal Roll) and gets two more to keep Castle’s ribs banged up. Castle grabs a bridging German suplex for two, making sure to lift his leg to relieve the pressure.

A quick cutter drops the champ and it’s right back to the knee to keep Castle down. Jay’s Figure Four keeps him in control and the Lethal Injection scores….for two on a heck of a kickout. They head to the apron and a kick to the knee takes Castle down again. Lethal can’t hit a cutter on the apron and it’s Castle German suplexing him from the apron to the floor in a SCARY crash. Back in and they slowly slug it out with Castle barely able to stand. Another Lethal Injection is countered and the Bang a Rang retains at 25:57.

Rating: A-. This is the win that Castle needed. It’s long been established that he can hang at this level but beating Lethal, probably the best big match performer Ring of Honor has at this point, is a requirement. This sets him on a roll going forward, likely with Scurll as the next challenge. The match itself was the back and forth fight that ROH does very well, especially without the standard WWE formula. Throw in a clean pin and no shenanigans and this was all you could have wanted.

Post match Lethal shakes his hand but Marty Scurll comes out for the challenge to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. Heck of a show here as Ring of Honor continues to know how to knock the big shows out of the park. I’m looking forward to Supercard of Honor and I wouldn’t have bet on that being the case just a few months ago. Right now everything is clicking and it’s become a very easy show to watch. Even the Young Bucks aren’t as annoying lately, which I didn’t think was possible. Very good show here though and worth checking out if you have the time.

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Monday Night Raw
Date: March 19, 2018
Location: American Airlines Center, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Jonathan Coachman

We’re down to three weeks left before Wrestlemania and there’s a lot left to do. One such thing is Ultimate Deletion, which takes place tonight instead of at Wrestlemania in a smart move. The problem is that’s going to be a lot of TV time that could be used for something bigger, though I’m curious to see how this translates to WWE TV. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Here’s Kurt Angle to open things up and he has some bad news: Roman Reigns will not be here tonight due to his suspension and Brock Lesnar isn’t here yet. Angle goes to talk about the tag team battle royal but here’s Roman Reigns through the crowd. Kurt warns him that security is waiting but Roman doesn’t care. Someone has to be here to represent the main event of Wrestlemania since Brock isn’t showing up.

They yell at each other with Reigns saying he’s not going anywhere and getting a chair. Angle waves it off and leaves so here are the US Marshals, one of which pulls out a card and gives him the Miranda rights. Reigns is handcuffed but they make the mistake of grabbing his arms and the beating is on. Reigns stands tall and CUE LESNAR!

The beatdown is on in a hurry with Brock throwing German suplexes and beating the heck out of him with the chair. An F5 leaves Reigns laying and here’s a stretcher to come get Roman. He’s strapped on but Brock comes back again and shoves the stretcher over. Reigns is left laying after a very strong segment that this match needed.

We recap last week’s issues between Alexa Bliss and Nia Jax. Bliss didn’t realize a camera was on and ran her mouth, calling Nia huge and stupid. Nia was crushed and tried to take out Bliss and Mickie James but they bailed in time.

Here are Alexa and Mickie to call what was said last week girl talk. Alexa got carried away and said some things that she shouldn’t have. She apologizes….that she didn’t speak the truth sooner. Bliss didn’t lose an ounce of sleep or lose an ounce of remorse because she never liked Nia. It feels like she’s lost 300lbs of loser and now it’s time to end the streak.

Alexa Bliss vs. Asuka

Non-title. Joined in progress with Bliss bending the neck around the ropes and pounding Bliss down. Asuka tries a legsweep but gets dropkicked down for two instead. Bliss avoids a charge against the ropes and the running hip attack….looks a bit awkward with Bliss bouncing to the side instead of backwards. A sliding knee looks better and drops Bliss for two but Mickie offers a distraction.

Bliss knees her to the floor so Mickie can get in a cheap shot. Back from a break with Bliss getting two off a sunset bomb. Bliss misses her standing moonsault and gets kneed down for two. An ankle lock has Bliss in trouble until she crawls out to the floor. Bliss takes a walk and it’s a countout at 11:56.

Rating: C-. This was rather sloppy at times and the ending wasn’t the best in the world. You can only get so far with one of them walking out for a countout but that’s the best course of action with both of them in major matches at Wrestlemania. Bliss is definitely getting better in the ring, though some of her selling here was hit and miss.

Post match, with Bliss still in the aisle, here’s Nia Jax to chase Bliss down. Alexa scurries away but can’t get into the crowd. Mickie’s save earns her a whip into the apron and Bliss escapes. Nia chases her down again and they run to the back.

Post break Bliss asks Angle to have Nia arrested. That’s a big negative so the title match is on for Wrestlemania.

Here’s Braun Strowman to address winning the battle royal. He’s been told that he has to have a partner to challenge for the titles, even though he thinks he can win them on his own. Cue the Bar to mock the idea of Strowman winning, but Braun says he has a partner to challenge for the titles. As for now though, Strowman gets to face one of them. Both of them get on the apron but Sheamus does a head fake and only Cesaro gets in.

Cesaro vs. Braun Strowman

Cesaro gets thrown into the corner for some right hands (these hands I believe) and we take a break. Back with Cesaro getting in a right hand to the face but having a suplex reversed into a new powerslam. That’s broken up though and Strowman is low bridged to the floor. A dropkick through the ropes staggers Strowman and he misses a charge into the post. Cesaro’s springboard spinning uppercut has Strowman in trouble bu the second attempt is knocked out of the air. Sheamus offers a distraction and gets run over, followed by the running powerslam to end Cesaro at 8:40.

Rating: C. Better match here as Cesaro got in some offense, as he should have. Strowman getting a pin clean like that is a nice move for him, though winning the titles needs to be a must. You can only have him slip on a banana peel so many times before it stops working and Strowman is running out of chances.

We go to the Hardy Compound where Rebecca, with Wolfgang on her back, is playing the piano. Senor Benjamin is told to prepare for annihilation.

Revival vs. Titus Worldwide

Neither team gets an entrance. Clash of the Titus is broken up with a dropkick and Wilder drops Dawson into a legdrop on O’Neil for two. The hot tag brings in Apollo to clean house, including the jumping clothesline into a standing moonsault for two. A small package gets two on Dawson but Wilder pulls Titus to the floor. That means a dive from Apollo but Dawson sneaks in a blind tag, setting up the Shatter Machine for the pin at 3:10.

Rating: C-. Nice while it lasted but I’m not sure what there is to win at this point. I like seeing Revival win, though what exactly do they have to get ready for right now? The battle royal maybe? It’s nice to see the Revival win though and that’s more than they’ve been able to say in recent weeks.

Post match the Revival is asked what they’re doing next. They’re the best team to challenge for the titles but now they’re entering Strowman’s world by entering the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal.

Mark Henry Hall of Fame video.

Here’s Bayley for a match but hang on a second as here’s Sasha to explain her actions over the last few months. She was trying to win the title, not betray Bayley. Last week, Bayley wasn’t trying to win a match when she walked away. Banks is willing to forgive her though and extends a hand but Bayley grabs a mic instead. Yeah she walked away last week because she can’t get over what Sasha did at Elimination Chamber. Sasha was smiling when she knocked Bayley down like it meant nothing. Cue Absolution to interrupt though and the match is on.

Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Sonya Deville/Mandy Rose

Banks gets in a slap but is thrown outside with Bayley joining her as we take a break. Back with Bayley sending Rose face first into the buckle over and over before hitting the running elbow to the back. Sasha tags herself in to count two though and gets stomped down in the corner for her efforts.

Mandy gets two off a sliding knee and the stomping continues. A charge misses and Sasha crawls over to Bayley, whose arm isn’t stretched out. Instead Banks gets knocked into the corner and Bayley tags herself in to start cleaning house. A middle rope elbow gets two as everything breaks down. Bayley’s backslide gets a delayed two on Sonya as the referee is trying to get rid of Banks. Deville sends them into each other though and kicks Bayley down for the pin at 10:00.

Rating: D+. Storyline advancement instead of a match here and that’s fine. It seems that we’re heading for Bayley and Sasha in the battle royal instead of having a singles match and I think I’m ok with that. It’s either have a short Wrestlemania match or be on the pre-show otherwise so let them do the showdown later, maybe even at the next pay per view or the Raw after Wrestlemania. Still though, the story works.

Here’s John Cena to find out what Undertaker is going to do at Wrestlemania. Cena issued a challenge last week and now it’s time to find out what he has to say. He can’t believe that Undertaker doesn’t know he still has a place here because if there’s still a WWE, the name Undertaker still has meaning. There’s even a man in the crowd dressed like the Undertaker right now. Well hang on because the response to the challenge is….nothing.

There hasn’t been a yes or a no and that’s the biggest mistake Undertaker has ever made. Cena calls it disrespectful to everyone in this arena who gets up and cheers when they head about the Undertaker. It’s disrespectful to everyone who took an oversized mortician and turned him into a god. Without the people, there’s no Streak and there’s no Undertaker. After these people have given Undertaker everything they have, he can’t give them a yes or a no?

If you’re retired then say you’re retired but if you’re in then say you’re in. The man that Undertaker has become is a coward. Just do something, even if it’s “some of that stupid stuff you do.” Roll a casket out here or light something on fire but DO SOMETHING! Fans: “DO SOMETHING!” Cue Kane, with new music, to chokeslam Cena without saying a word. I know the match is almost a guarantee, but they’re cutting it ridiculously close with this build.

We recap the opening segment. Reigns has been taken to a medical facility.

Back to the Hardy Compound with Matt asking George Washington (a giraffe) for advice.

Here’s the Miztourage for a match against Balor Club but beforehand, Miz complains about his lack of respect. His face isn’t even on the Wrestlemania magazine because there’s no respect. Miz can’t even get a singles match for the title and wants to know if he’s the bad guy. If you buy the Finn Balor and Seth Rollins action figures, it doesn’t make them superstars. Last week Miz showed how much they wanted to hurt each other. At Wrestlemania, Miz will show “Tyler Black and Prince Nevitt” how things work around here so they can go back to the bingo halls and Too Sweet all the indy fans.

Miztourage vs. Anderson and Gallows/Finn Balor

Hang on though as here’s Rollins to do commentary and we take a break before the opening bell. Joined in progress with Gallows hammering on Axel before it’s off to Balor to armbar Dallas. Miz comes in and knees Balor in the ribs, followed by the left hands to the head. A basement dropkick cuts Axel down but Miz keeps Balor in trouble.

That allows Miz to do Balor’s pose and that’s just too much. Balor gets over to corner for a tag to Anderson so house can be cleaned. A high crossbody gets two on Axel and we take a break with Miz and company in trouble. Back with Balor clotheslining him to the floor, setting up a HUGE flip dive. The Coup de Grace is broken up but the Skull Crushing Finale is turned into a rollup for two. Instead Miz is kicked into Dallas for the pin at 10:07.

Rating: C-. Another match designed to advance the stories here and that’s all well and good. The triple threat should be fun and you can pencil in the other four for spots in the battle royal. I’d bet on Miz retaining but there’s a real chance for either of them to pull it off, which is all you could ask for.

Post match the beatdown is on but Rollins comes down for the save. Miz takes the curb stomp and Balor isn’t sure what to do.

Matt laid in Skarsgard (the boat) earlier today.

Long video on Ronda Rousey’s path to Wrestlemania.

Bray Wyatt has arrived at the gates of the Hardy Compound, which open without a touch. Vanguard I greets him and says it’s time for music. A piano is heard and Bray follows the sound to a ring where Matt is waiting. Matt knew Bray would come and we take a break

Colo apologizes for what we’re about to see.

Matt Hardy vs. Bray Wyatt

They do some wrestling to start with Matt getting two off a neckbreaker and promising to DELETE Bray. An early Sister Abigail attempt is broken up so Bray hits his hard clothesline. He grabs a chair from underneath the ring (Why would Bray know that was there???) but Matt tells Vanguard I to initiate. That means it’s time for fireworks (how I’ve missed them) and Bray is freaked out, allowing Matt to chair him down.

They fight to a wooden building and Bray drops to his knees with a smile on his face. We see glimpses of Bray’s own compound but he takes a kendo stick away from Matt and rams him into the wall. Another vision of his own compound burning scares Bray so Matt escapes to a group of his symbols planted in the ground like tombstones. A branch to the back gets two on Matt and Bray throws him into a metal door.

The door pops open to reveal a large area, including a ring, a piano and a riding mower. Matt escapes a Rock Bottom through the piano and beats on Bray with a ladder. With Bray down, Matt talks to an old wheel chair (chair of wheels) and the mower of lawns before getting on the latter. With Ode to Joy playing, Bray spiders up and smiles at him. Bray sends Matt into the apron and gets punched in the head a lot.

Wyatt says this is his ultimate deletion and drags Matt outside towards the Lake of Reincarnation. Vanguard comes at Bray but he grabs the handles and throws it away. Matt is gone so Bray throws Skarsgard over, only to find Senor Benjamin with a globe. That’s thrown to Bray, who now has the whole world in his hands. Cue Jeff Hardy for a distraction though and a Twist of Fate pins Bray at 13:23.

Rating: N/A. There’s no way to rate this as a match but for what it was, it worked very well. It felt like one of the TNA matches (of course with a bigger budget) and that’s not a bad thing for once. Bray losing again was pretty clear as you don’t want to waste the compound’s debut. I could have gone for more insanity but what we got worked very well. Now where do they go from here?

Post match Bray gets up and says it’s not over. Matt shoves him into the lake and then calls Benjamin over to get him out. There’s no Bray though, which Matt declares delightful because Great War is over. Bray Wyatt has been deleted. Matt celebrates to end the show as I wonder if Bray is dead.

Overall Rating: C+. The more I think about it, the more I’m liking the build to Wrestlemania….outside of Undertaker vs. Cena that is. They’ve got some interesting matches built up and I’m not sure who wins some of them, which is a nice feeling to have going into the pay per view. Tonight’s show set up some more stuff with a very good opening and a good closing, though I’m not sure where some of the pieces are going to fall into place. They need to finalize things soon and I’m not sure they have time to get everywhere they need to go in time. Still though, tonight was a good step.

Results

Asuka b. Alexa Bliss via countout

Braun Strowman b. Cesaro – Running powerslam

Revival b. Titus Worldwide – Shatter Machine to Apollo

Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville b. Bayley/Sasha Banks – Kick to the head to Bayley

Finn Balor/Anderson and Gallows b. Miztourage – Rollup to Miz

Matt Hardy b. Bray Wyatt – Twist of Fate

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

No Mercy 2003
Date: October 19, 2003
Location: 1^st Mariner Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the Stephanie vs. Vince Show as the McMahons are battling in the real main event. The last few months have been building up to the I Quit match with both of their jobs on the line. Other than that we have Brock Lesnar defending the World Title against the Undertaker in a Biker Chain match, meaning chain on a pole. Let’s get to it.

Here’s the go home episode of Smackdown if you need a recap.

The opening video, narrated by Vince and Stephanie’s arguing, looks over a little girl’s things, including a tiara, shoes and a teddy bear. We hear Vince demanding that she quit and Stephanie refusing but also begging to not have the match. Thankfully Brock and Undertaker get some time as well.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Rey Mysterio

Tajiri is defending and is admonished to not use the mist of any color. They fight over a lockup to start and fall to the floor with no one getting an advantage. Back in and Rey gets smart by going after the leg with a quick leglock. That’s broken up with some shots to the head but the handspring elbow is dropkicked away to put Tajiri on the floor.

That’s enough of this wrestling stuff so Rey hits a dive to give the fans more of what they’re expecting. Mysterio tries to get a bit too fancy though and has a springboard broken up with his arm landing on the top rope. You wouldn’t exactly expect these two to go with limb work but it’s actually working. A springboard armdrag gets Rey out of an armbar but hurts his arm even more, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the head. Slow Rey down with the arm to set up the best offensive move. Good stuff.

Rey grabs a tornado DDT for a delayed two before using his legs to pull the champ out to the floor. Back in and Tajiri tries to throw him to the floor again but gets a 619 to the ribs. The West Coast Pop is countered with a powerbomb but Rey is right back with a moonsault press. Tajiri goes right back to the arm, only to have the knee give out on the Tarantula attempt. Now the 619 connects and Rey grabs the West Coast Pop but a “fan” runs in for a distraction. Tajiri hits the Buzzsaw Kick to retain.

Rating: B-. Good opener with a bad ending. You can imagine Tajiri getting a lackey out of this and that’s not exactly a thrilling way to wrap up the match. If nothing else, there wasn’t any mist either after Tajiri has spent over a week building it up. I liked the majority of the match though and that’s a good way to open the show.

Replays shows security holding a second “fan” back as well so yeah we’re probably looking at a mini stable. The division needs more bodies so that’s not the worst idea in the world.

Vince yells at Josh Matthews (good) for asking how he’s feeling. This is somehow both personal and business with some people on the roster being on Stephanie’s side. That’s fine with Vince, because if they try to help her, he’ll just fire them.

A-Train vs. Chris Benoit

A-Train is annoyed because he can’t beat Benoit. Tazz: “They love pierced nipples in Denmark.” A hard shoulder puts Benoit on the floor and we’re starting at a slower pace. Back in and Benoit can’t get either a German suplex or the Crossface. Instead he just slugs away with chops and some forearms for little avail. A-Train goes with the power as a slam and splash get two.

The clubbing forearms keep Benoit in trouble and A-Train catapults him throat first into the middle rope. More time wasting allows Benoit to slug away until a Polish Hammer (with the Putski references) drops him again. A DDT gives Benoit a breather but A-Train grabs a German suplex of his own. With the wrestling not working, A-Train brings in a chair but gets it knocked away.

A-Train tries a gorilla press instead but drops Benoit HEAD FIRST (didn’t seem to be on purpose) onto the chair in a scary looking landing. Benoit is of course fine and starts rolling the German suplexes. The Swan Dive is broken up so A-Train teases going up as well. Thankfully, for the sake of not breaking the ring, he comes down and hits the Derailer for two instead. With the chair wedged in the corner, A-Train kicks it by mistake, setting up the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: C. Considering who Benoit was in there against, this could have been a lot worse (if nothing else just for dropping Benoit on the chair). A-Train was fine as a dragon for Benoit to slay but that’s all he was going to be. The hairy look and only somewhat above average power offense held him back a lot but at least the story here made sense.

Heidenreich yells at Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore about throwing away his highlight tape but Matt talks his way out of trouble.

Members of the military are here.

Zach Gowen vs. Matt Hardy

Shannon Moore is with Matt Hardy, who cannot be grossed out and has survived five car wrecks. They trade slaps to start before Gowen hits a leg lariat to take over. A middle rope bulldog gets two but Moore breaks up a springboard. Cole: “How much longer is this going to go on? It’s been week after week after week.” Agreed, but they’ll give up on pushing Gowen eventually.

Snake Eyes and a running clothesline put Gowen on the floor, followed by a double arm crank as Cole talks about believing in Gowen. Matt misses the moonsault though and gets knocked outside, allowing Zach to springboard (pulls himself up, puts his shin on the top rope and flips forward) onto him for two. Still shaken from the missed moonsault, Matt takes him to the top but has a belly to back superplex broken up. Gowen’s moonsault is good for the pin.

Rating: D. If they have to give Gowen a win, I’m kind of glad that it’s a clean one. Having to hear about Gowen winning the match with someone handing it to him would have been too much, but as usual everyone has to slow down to let him keep up. The moonsault had good form but it’s really hard to buy that anything from Gowen is going to be enough for a pin.

Linda McMahon tries to talk Vince out of the match but Vince says no. He’ll make a concession though: Stephanie can win by pinfall as well as submission, but Vince makes it no holds barred to keep it even. They’re throwing everything they can at this match to make it interesting and it’s not working.

APA vs. Basham Brothers

This was set up on Sunday Night Heat. Again no Shaniqua, thank goodness. Bradshaw pounds Doug in the corner to start before running him over with a shoulder. Faarooq comes in for a powerslam but is smart enough to know that Danny tagged himself in. That means a knockdown to Danny as well because Faarooq pays attention. A double spinebuster gets two on Danny and Doug gets kicked in the face for daring to interrupt.

Cole and Tazz argue over sexual fetishes and journalistic integrity as the Bashams take over with a quick double team. A double suplex gets two and we hit the chinlock. That actually draws a loud APA chant, which I think may be a first time event. With the first chinlock working so well, Danny grabs another one to keep Faarooq down.

Since Faarooq is tired of being stuck in a chinlock, he fights up and hits a spinebuster, setting up the hot tag to Bradshaw. A powerbomb and Last Call drop Doug and it’s a super Last Call for Danny. The referee gets bumped so here’s Shaniqua to knock Bradshaw out with a club, giving Danny the pin.

Rating: D. Well we were free of her for a few weeks. The Bashams winning was the right call as the APA doesn’t have anything to gain, but Shaniqua and the dominatrix stuff isn’t helping anyone. The division isn’t deep enough that they can’t get to the top very fast, but get rid of the ball and chain as soon as possible.

Post match Shaniqua talks about the Clothesline making her chest swell, which has the Bashams freaking out at a level that Jerry Lawler would find disturbing. They’re going to be rewarded though so she’ll whip it good. And that’s it for whatever good the Bashams got out of the win.

Tazz has keys to victory in the Biker Chain match.

Very long recap of Stephanie vs. Vince. Stephanie won’t quit her job as GM despite what Vince wants so we’re having this match to make her do it. Vince is also sleeping with Sable so Linda is in her corner. This story has dominated Smackdown in recent months and has been turned into the most melodramatic feuds in wrestling history. Thrown in Stephanie’s acting “abilities” and you know how well that’s going to go.

Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon

Sable and Linda are the seconds. Vince has to make her say I Quit while Stephanie can win by pinfall or submission. Vince jumps her from behind so Stephanie jumps on her back and screeches a lot. Just in case this wasn’t going to feel long enough already. That’s enough offense from Stephanie, who gets thrown down by the hair with Vince saying she could have quit. Some shoulders in the corner have Stephanie acting like she was shot.

Sable gets in a slap, triggering a chase from Linda which is begging for the Benny Hill theme. Vince gets in Linda’s way and then clotheslines Stephanie again, which is treated as the biggest, most brutal thing ever. We hit the half crab and Stephanie screams like she’s in labor. Stephanie bites her way out of a double arm crank so Sable grabs a pipe, triggering the “catfight” with Linda. A low blow into a rollup (Cole: “WE’VE GOT HIM!”) gives Stephanie two but she can’t hit him with the pipe.

She finally does and Cole lets out a “COME ON GIRL!” but Vince gets his foot on the rope. Another low blow into another rollup gets two and it’s time for the announcers to play cheerleaders. Vince chokes her down and gets in a pipe shot to the ribs, prompting Cole to say Vince outweighs her by 200lbs. So is Stephanie 63lbs or is Vince over 300? Vince chokes with the pipe but Stephanie won’t quit (well duh) so Linda throws in the towel to save her daughter. I’m kind of stunned that this was so short (just shy of ten minutes) as I easily could have seen that being doubled.

Rating: F. Just read any part of this and you’ll get why this was a failure. This was one of the dumbest storylines WWE has ever put together (and consider the competition on that list) and somehow managed to be all about making Stephanie look awesome. These four need to go far, far away for a long time and never speak of anything here again. I never need to hear about Stephanie again and I’m kind of glad the family is destroyed FOREVER (yes FOREVER you see) so they won’t bother trying to get back together again.

Vince shoves Linda down and leaves with Sable. Stephanie gets the big sendoff because of all that hard work she’s done. Like kissing Eric Bischoff, signing Mr. America without knowing who he was, treating Zach Gowen like the world’s biggest charity case and being CLOTHESLINED BY HER FATHER!

The announcers act like they saw an orphanage burn to the ground and puppies used as crash dummies.

We recap Kurt Angle vs. John Cena. John wants to make a name for himself so he rapped about Angle a lot. Kurt did his own few raps and promised to teach him a wrestling lesson.

Kurt Angle vs. John Cena

Cena does his usual gay joke rap before the match. With that out of the way (and the chain laid in the corner), Angle headlocks him to the mat to start. Cena reverses into one of his own and we hit the dueling chants, allowing Cole to talk about Cena’s street cred. Back up and Angle flips him off, earning a hard clothesline to take him down again. A hard running shoulder in the corner rocks Cena again though as this is back and forth so far.

Another shoulder hits post though and Cena gets all fired up, including a running clothesline in the corner. We hit a double chickenwing on the mat and then a front facelock as the pace slows considerably. Back up and a spinebuster (way too common of a move on this show) allows Cena to go up, only to have Angle dropkick him in the shin on the way down. An ankle lock attempt sends Cena scurrying for the ropes so Angle adds a baseball slide.

Kurt does his insane tease of a German suplex off the apron but Cena, fearing a bad case of death, DDT’s him onto the apron to escape. Back in and the Throwback gives Cena two but he gets rolled with the German suplexes. It’s Cena’s turn to pop back up, this time with knees to the head and a buckle bomb of all things for two. The FU and Angle Slam get two each and it’s chain time. The referee actually pays attention for once and takes it away, leaving Cena to hit him with the gold medals for two instead. Back up and another FU is countered into the ankle lock for the tap.

Rating: B. I liked this one quite a bit with some nice work, though Cena going over was the logical play here. The “he earned respect” argument only works for so long and Cena is getting to the point where he really needs a big win. The match was entertaining though and Cena looked good, though Angle kicking out of the FU didn’t do him much good. Not bad, but Cena needs to do something soon.

We recap Big Show vs. Eddie Guerrero. I’ll spare you the details and go with burritos, sewage and a destroyed low rider. Sounds serious, right?

US Title: Big Show vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie, with a taped up back after Thursday, is defending and Show wastes no time sending him hard into the corner. The champ is right back with a neck snap over the top rope but Show sends him back first into the corner again. Eddie gets creative by throwing in a chair before switching over to some kicks to the knee.

The bad back is sent into the post though and Show launches him over the top to take it back inside. They’re doing a good job of making Show look like the dominant monster but I have a bad feeling of where this is going. We hit the trash talk with Show slowly dragging Eddie around the ring. Eddie manages to send him into an exposed turnbuckle though and a frog splash crossbody gets two.

That’s enough for a ref bump (well duh) so Eddie pulls out some brass knuckles for a knockout shot and two. A title shot to the head knocks Show even sillier and the frog splash….gets two. Show gets the same off a spinebuster (ok enough already) so Eddie kicks him low and grabs a DDT. He can’t follow up though and it’s a chokeslam to give Show the title as the arena deflates.

Rating: D. Eddie was trying as hard as he could but when a brass knuckles shot, a belt shot and the frog splash can’t put Show away, there’s not much more Eddie can do. Show isn’t someone I ever need to see get a push like this or of any kind really, and I certainly hope that Eddie gets the momentum back because he’s been so entertaining as of late.

Post match Chavo comes in to yell at Eddie for losing.

Big Show says no one can beat him because he is, in fact, a giant.

We recap Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker. Vince turned Brock evil and Undertaker wants to set things right. Then he decided he loved chains for some reason so we’re getting a chain on a pole match.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Brock is defending and the chain is on a pole in the corner. Undertaker misses a right hand in the corner to start and Lesnar seems to be running early on. Another miss lets Brock unload in the corner and Old School is blocked. A shoulder goes into the post though and Undertaker hits a big boot and legdrop for two. So the chain can be completely ignored? Now Old School connects and Undertaker grabs la majistral of all things for two more. They head outside with Brock kneeing him in the ribs a few times, followed by a whip into the steps.

Back in and Undertaker strikes away but misses a running boot in the corner. The chain hasn’t been a factor yet, save for some clanking noises here and there. Undertaker gets knocked off the apron and into the barricade so the beating can continue. Back inside again with Undertaker winning a slugout, including a jumping clothesline for two. It’s finally time to go for the chain but the lights go out.

They come back on with nothing changed though Lesnar uses the distraction to grab an electric chair. The steps are thrown in and Undertaker gets sent face first. That’s not enough yet either as Undertaker takes it back outside for a piledriver on the other steps. Rather than go for the win, Undertaker goes for the chain but comes back down with a triangle choke over the ropes instead. A low blow and steps to the head give Lesnar two and it’s time for another slugout as this just keeps going.

Undertaker gets the better of it but his chokeslam is countered into a spinebuster for two. A short armscissors is reversed with a powerbomb so Undertaker switches to the Dragon Sleeper. That’s reversed into the F5 for two so Brock goes up. This time it’s a chokeslam off the top for a HUGE crash but the freaking FBI runs in for the save before Undertaker can go for the chain.

The Last Ride (nearly into the corner so Undertaker has to pull it back a bit) drops Lesnar and it’s a Taker Dive onto the FBI. Nunzio gets knocked away from the chain and Undertaker FINALLY gets the chain. Cue Vince to crotch Undertaker on the top, allowing Lesnar to chain Undertaker in the head. The F5 FINALLY retains the title.

Rating: D+. It was a half decent power match that was crippled by both the length and all the shenanigans. You really could have made this into a regular match or a street fight as the chain wasn’t a factor until the last two minutes. The problem here though is the time as it ran nearly twenty five minutes, or at least eight minutes longer than it needed. With no drama on the chain until the end, there wasn’t much to see other than slow brawling. Not terrible, but not the way this should have gone.

Vince runs away to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. There’s good stuff in here to keep it from being a disaster or a horrible show but the two main events are a combination of terrible and way too long, which is too much to overcome. Hopefully this is the end of this era as they really need to change a lot of stuff up around here. Find something fresh to work with because the McMahons are so horribly played out and Brock needs a new challenger. Maybe Survivor Series can help because this show was pretty bad.

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