This is a big one.

Well yeah, of course it’s a big one, because the actual wrestling is a big part of the wrestling business. One of the most common debates is what was the best match and that’s what we’re looking at here. Some of these might not be your cup of milk (tea was never my cup of tea) but there’s some outstanding stuff to pick from this year.

Note that there’s a chance I left a nominee off because I just didn’t see it, which is going to be the case with some New Japan matches.

We’ll start at the beginning of the year with a match that is certainly going to be discussed somewhere in here with Kenny Omega vs. Kazuchika Okada from Wrestle Kingdom XI. This was the very early clubhouse leader and the subject of some of the most discussion of the ridiculous star rating from Meltzer. The match itself is very good, though it could have been shortened a bit as it does drag. Still though, it’s more than worthy of a mention.

Another noteworthy match is WarGames from Takeover: WarGames. I know a lot of fans were worried about this one and while the match wasn’t what WCW used to put on, it was still as brutal and violent of a match as WWE was going to offer these days. It was a lot of fun with everyone beating the heck out of each other, including some brutal spots and even some blood. I had a blast with it and it was an incredible spectacle.

At the same show is a match that I underrated pretty badly, despite saying it was quite good. Velveteen Dream shocked the heck out of a lot of people by having an awesome match with Aleister Black after an even better build up. The story was really entertaining and seeing Black kick Dream’s head off and then FINALLY give Dream what he wanted by saying his name was the best thing that could have happened. Both guys looked awesome and Dream got a huge elevation. What more can you ask for?

Well how about a big gimmick match? That was the case in the blowoff for the Usos and the New Day inside the Cell. These guys beat the heck out of each other and it was quite the spectacle. This was the match that made the Usos the undisputed top team in WWE in a move a long time in the making. It’s very cool to see them get a major match like this and they stole the show in the process.

Speaking of four men in a match, we have the main event from Summerslam with Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe. There’s no other way to put this: these guys beat the heck out of each other and showed why they come off like bigger stars than almost anyone else in the process at the same time. This was about hitting each other really, really hard until only one person was left standing and it was exactly what people wanted to see.

Next up we have the other clubhouse leader from January with AJ Styles vs. John Cena. I watched this back a few weeks ago and not only does it hold up, but it has some outstanding drama and a huge moment with Cena tying Flair’s record. It’s great stuff, but there’s other stuff that surpassed it later in the year.

That leaves us with the winner and it was the year of the British. Tyler Bate and Pete Dunne had one of the best trilogies in WWE history (easily) and their second match was the best of them all. Taking place at Takeover: Chicago, the match with Dunne taking the title from Bate was one of the most exciting matches I’ve seen in years with the two young guys leaving everything in the ring with an absolutely crazy Chicago crowd. It was the match of the year and nothing else was really in its world for me.

Smackdown
Date: January 9, 2018
Location: Legacy Arena, Birmingham, Alabama
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton

Things are getting a little dicey around here as the battle of the bosses continues. The big story is Daniel Bryan making a handicap match for the Royal Rumble where AJ Styles will defend the Smackdown World Title against the combined forces of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. This seems to hint at a Bryan heel turn, which would seem to hint at WWE being really stupid. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with Bryan making the handicap match. Again: if they’re trying to make Bryan a heel as we go into Philadelphia and ultimately New Orleans, they’re dumber than I thought they were.

Renee Young brings out Styles for an interview. AJ kind of regrets saying make it a handicap match but he’ll live with the consequences. He’s looking forward to the Rumble where he can hit them so hard and so fast that he’ll walk out as champion. AJ knows what he’s up against because they can tag in and out but this is the house that he built.

Cue Sami and Kevin with Owens getting right to the point: AJ has no chance of walking out with the title. Sami: “YEP!” Kevin promises to walk out as the first co-WWE Champions. This brings out Shane McMahon to say he’s confused about Bryan’s decision but he’ll support it. As for tonight though, we’ll have another handicap match with Owens and Zayn facing Styles, Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura. You can see the screwy finish coming but it’s a nice idea and makes sense with this story.

Shane and Bryan shake hands in the back.

Becky Lynch vs. Ruby Riott

Becky takes Ruby down to start but Morgan offers a leg trip. That just gets Riott knocked to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Riott holding a bodyscissors and driving knees into the ribs. Becky comes back with some forearms but Ruby kicks her in the ribs again. Not that it matters as the Disarm-Her makes Ruby tap at 8:10.

Rating: C-. Just a nice win for Becky to get back in the swing of things. That makes sense, but why in the world did they have Riott lose here? Like, you have Liv Morgan and Sarah Logan RIGHT THERE and you pick the leader and the most important member of the team to take the loss? That’s the short sighted/lack of thinking that gets on fans’ nerves and seems like something that could be solved by simple common sense.

Earlier today, Sami Zayn surprised Becky Lynch when she was signing autographs to be her Mixed Match Challenge partner.

Bludgeon Brothers vs. Ascension

Breezango isn’t here due to having a match later against Rusev Day. An assisted sitout powerbomb ends Viktor at 34 seconds. I think they’re ready for the Usos already.

US Title Tournament First Round: Zack Ryder vs. Mojo Rawley

The winner faces Bobby Roode, at ringside, in the second round. Rawley charges straight into a pair of knees in the corner but easily takes Ryder down to ram his face into the mat. Zack is right back up for some right hands in the corner, only to eat the running punch in the corner to give Mojo the win at 3:34

Rating: D-. This wasn’t the biggest shock and amazingly enough, the battle of the former Hype Bros isn’t very interesting. Rawley winning was the only logical conclusion here as Ryder continues his descent down the WWE ladder. There’s some potential for Rawley, though there’s no reason to believe he’s getting by Roode in the next round. Nothing match, as expected.

Jinder Mahal is ready to win the United States Champion to get 2018 off to a good start. Xavier Woods better know how to play Taps on his trombone.

Classic Raw clip: Austin and the zamboni.

Earlier today, Natalya was showcasing her selfie taking skills when Shinsuke Nakamura popped up. They’ll be Mixed Match Challenge partners.

Here are Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable to demand justice for not winning the Tag Team Titles last week. Chad asks the fans if they know what it takes to be a winner. They’ve given up everything to succeed but no one here in Birmingham would understand that. Shelton brings up the University of Alabama winning the National Championship last night but the people here had nothing to do with it. The University of Georgia was robbed because of a bad referee call, just like they were last week.

After the required ROLL TIDE chant, Shelton talks about the referee interfering last week when it wasn’t even his match. The other referee came in due to jealousy because he doesn’t know what it takes to be a champion. Chad says they lost to instant referee last week. Chad: “So generic referee #2, get out here right now.” Instead they get Daniel Bryan who says no, because the referee’s decision is final. AS IN THE RULING THAT WAS OVERTURNED???

Benjamin calls him out on that but Bryan just says they didn’t win because they pinned the wrong Uso. Chad asks if this is Dr. Phil and thinks Bryan is taking out his Shane frustrations on them. The ranting continues until Chad asks if they have to beat the Usos twice in one night. Bryan: “THAT’S IT!” There’s going to be a 2/3 falls match for the titles at the Rumble. Is the Rumble going to be another six hour show? There are two Rumbles (that’s two hours) and five more matches, one of which is 2/3 falls. That’s quite the lengthy night.

AJ and Orton talk strategy with Orton saying he wants the title. Nakamura comes in and gives the belt a Too Sweet. Nakamura: “Good talk.”

Rusev Day vs. Breezango

English and Rusev are both in the Rumble (the Rusev Rumble on Rusev Day that is). Fandango suplexes Aiden to start and brings in Breeze for a double kick to the head. We take an early break and come back with Breeze getting superkicked in the ribs but avoiding a Swanton. The hot tag brings in Fandango for some chops but Rusev comes in for the kicks to the chest. A spinwheel kick puts Fandango down and a kick to the head drops Breeze. The distraction lets Fandango roll Rusev up for the pin at 5:20. Not enough shown to rate but do we need more proof of the “get over when we tell you to” theory?

Shane tells Bryan that his matchmaking of late has been off the way and unfair. He asks if Bryan is ok but Bryan points out that Shane is one to talk about being crazy with his decisions, especially given his family history. Shane leaves without arguing that much. They’re really going to try to turn Bryan aren’t they?

Pay per view rundown. That’s looking like a long show.

AJ Styles/Shinsuke Nakamura/Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens/Sami Zayn

The threat of an RKO sends Owens bailing to the floor before coming back in for some right hands. It’s off to Sami vs. Nakamura as the announcers talk about the Freebird Rule for the potential of co-WWE Champions. A kick to the face sends Sami outside and an attempt at the Styles Clash sends the villains walking up the ramp.

Cue Shane, because we haven’t seen him enough tonight. The match is restarted (it never stopped) with no countouts. Back from a break with AJ fighting Owens off and hitting the fireman’s carry backbreaker. The hot tag brings in Orton for the snap powerslam on Zayn, followed by the hanging DDT. Orton loads up the RKO but Owens chairs him in the ribs for the DQ at….oh of course Shane comes out to say restart it with No DQ.

AJ knocks Owens up the ramp and into the back with a chair, leaving Sami trapped. The chase is on but Sami can’t quite make it over the barricade. Orton loads up the steps and then drops Sami back first onto the announcers’ table. Kinshasa drops Zayn and the RKO is good for the pin at 14:54.

Rating: D+. What do you want me to say here? The good guys had a big advantage and used that advantage to win, including a pair of restarts in the process. This was everything you would have guessed the match would be and really didn’t deviate from that premise. There’s not much these guys can do when EVERYTHING in this story has been about Shane vs. Bryan, which at the moment can’t be an actual match. I’m still begging for the big swerve where it’s Shane as the heel, but that’s getting more and more unlikely with each passing week for reasons I don’t want to understand.

Overall Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I saw a show that had so much illogical booking or instances of just going completely against whatever fans seemed to want. The big focus was on the Shane vs. Bryan feud, Ruby lost clean, Rusev took the pin in the tag match and Bryan’s “referee’s decisions are final, even when they’re overturned decisions” line actually brought pain to my head.

I have no idea what’s been up with the writing lately but between this and “Asuka can’t speak English”, I’m having a really hard time accepting that there’s any kind of quality control is going on in WWE as of late. It’s like they’re going out of their way to say stupid stuff and go completely against the logical stories they could be telling, especially with Shane vs. Bryan. If WWE really thinks that pushing Shane as the top face AGAIN is the right call, especially over Bryan, good for them on officially losing their minds.

This show felt like several cases of one dumb idea after another with very little that actually made me want to watch another week. It’s a rare instance of Raw being flat out better than Smackdown, which says a lot when Raw wasn’t all that good this week. The booking is going in a very questionable direction and the little things they’re choosing to do and say go in the face of anyone who has watched for more than a few weeks. Hopefully this is just a funk and they snap out of it, because this was really tough to sit through at times.

Results

Becky Lynch b. Ruby Riott – Disarm-Her

Bludgeon Brothers b. Ascension – Assisted sitout powerbomb to Viktor

Mojo Rawley b. Zack Ryder – Running punch

Breezango b. Rusev Day – Rollup to Rusev

AJ Styles/Randy Orton/Shinsuke Nakamura b. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens – Kinshasa to Zayn

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1999
Date: January 24, 1999
Location: Arrowhead Pond, Anaheim, California
Attendance: 14,816
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole

Road Dogg vs. Big Boss Man

Intercontinental Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Shane McMahon tries to fire up his dad for tonight.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Sable is defending and this is a strap match. Luna bails to the floor to start but gets pulled face first into the post. Back in and Sable chokes away as Shane calls Luna hot. Sable can only get two buckles though until Luna pulls her down. That earns Sable a whipping and some kicks in the corner, only to have Luna hit a quick backbreaker.

The Corporation debates over who gets to eliminate Austin and win the $100,000 bounty Vince has put on his head tonight.

WWF World Title: The Rock vs. Mankind

Royal Rumble

As we wait, allow me to point out that save for the first two, the first eighteen entrants have all been eliminated, making nearly two thirds of the match completely worthless. Billy Gunn comes in at #20, wearing one boot. Heaven forbid we get anything going through as Shamrock takes him down with a kick to the bad ankle. Gunn throws him into the corner for a break but Ken goes after the ankle again.

Ratings Comparison

Big Boss Man vs. Road Dogg

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2016 Redo: D

Ken Shamrock vs. Billy Gunn

Original: D+

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: D+

X-Pac vs. Gangrel

Original: B-

2013 Redo: C+

2016 Redo: C-

Sable vs. Luna Vachon

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

The Rock vs. Mankind

Original: B

2013 Redo: B

2016 Redo: B-

Royal Rumble

Original: F

2013 Redo: F

2016 Redo: F

Overall Rating

Original: D-

2013 Redo: D

2016 Redo: F+

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1999-please-make-it-stop/

And the original redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1999-disturbing-to-watch-for-multiple-reasons/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 8, 2018
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

The big story this week is the return of the Miz, but at the same time we need to have someone to challenge Roman Reigns for the Intercontinental Title now that Samoa Joe has been vanquished. I think you might be getting where I’m hinting: Finn Balor with the Club challenges Reigns for the title. I’ve heard of less interesting ideas. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks back at Reigns defeating Samoa Joe last week. I’m still not sure if that’s the right call.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Reigns for the opening chat. Reigns is surprised that Joe came in so unprepared last week because Roman was fighting for his brother Dean Ambrose. If you mess with one member of the Shield, you mess with all of them. Cue Jason Jordan of all people to say that he feels like something special. After ignoring the YOU BOTH SUCK chants, Jordan implies that he’s part of the Shield now and even does the fist.

This brings out Seth Rollins to say Jordan’s timing is horrible. It’s made clear that he’s not part of the Shield but Jordan says they can fight anyone. Jordan thinks they’re pretty good despite not being the Shield, but Reigns and Rollins aren’t convinced. Neither are Finn Balor and the Club, who interrupt next. They talk about their history together, which started way before Jordan even knew who his daddy was.

Then they came here and did their own thing, all with success. The thing is, they all knew they would come together to take over. They get in the ring with Balor saying this is the year of Balor Club. Jordan laughs them off and says he’d rather be in the Champions’ Club. Gallows calls him a NERD so Jordan goes after him, only to quickly be calmed down. Kurt Angle comes out to make the six man main event. Jordan as the misfit works very well here, but I’m not sure where it goes. Balor vs. Reigns could be some good stuff too, especially if it makes me look smart.

Little Mix is doing the Royal Rumble theme song. That would be an all girl band that my fifteen year old cousin loves. Are they that out of band ideas?

Bayley/Sasha Banks vs. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville

Mickie James, now official for the Rumble, and Paige are at ringside. Bayley and Mandy get things going with Mandy pulling her down by the hair. Back up and Bayley shoves her out to the floor as the announcers talk about the Rumble (fair enough in this case). We take a break and come back with Sasha hitting the running double knees for two on Mandy.

Sonya offers a distraction though and a good looking jumping knee drops Banks. A comeback is cut off by some hard, rapid right hands to the ribs in one of the first instances of Sonya looking like an MMA fighter for a change. A double clothesline gives Sasha a breather but Mandy breaks up another hot tag attempt. Everything breaks down and the Bank Statement makes Mandy tap at 10:57.

Rating: C-. Pretty standard women’s match here and that’s all it needed to be. They’re keeping Paige looking strong, which is the most important thing they can do at the moment. Mandy and Sonya are just going to be cannon fodder in the Rumble anyway so having Bayley and Sasha get a win over them helps people who need the help and doesn’t harm people who wouldn’t be hurt anyway.

We look back at the ending of last week’s show with Brock Lesnar and Kane brawling.

We look at Cedric Alexander and Goldust teaming up last week.

Goldust is dressed like Mickey from Rocky and gives Cedric one of Mickey’s speeches. Cedric says he has it because he’s fired up enough to win the title tonight. Goldust says the one thing standing in Cedric’s way is Cedric himself. The voice makes Goldust cough before he says tonight is all about Cedric.

Earlier today, Goldust was doing a time lapse video of putting on his makeup when he found out that Alicia Fox will be his partner for the Mixed Match Challenge.

Matt Hardy vs. Curt Hawkins

Before the match, Matt officially enters the Rumble. Matt has his full on Broken entrance, complete with a theme song talking about being Broken. Hawkins tries an armbar but Matt bites his way to freedom. A snap German suplex into the corner has Hawkins in trouble and a missed middle rope crossbody makes things even worse for him. The Side Effect into the Twist of Fate is enough to end Hawkins at 1:55. Matt looked different enough to make the character feel different, which is a good sign for his future.

Post match Bray Wyatt appears behind Matt and a laugh off ensues. Nothing physical goes down.

Here’s Elias with something to sing. The fans boo his guitar playing but Elias says it was good. He’s got a song about Memphis and Elvis but the fans don’t seem too thrilled with him. Elias: “What’s wrong with Elvis???”. He doesn’t care about Elvis though because there’s a star on the way who is taking over the entertainment biz. Elias: “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Miz.” Nice rhyme there.

The Miz, with the Miztourage, is back and ready to brag about his recent accomplishment. The fans welcome him back (along with his much taller hair) but Miz wants to thank the Miztourage for holding things up while he was gone. Dallas says Miz makes every day Mizmas and Dallas thinks having him back feels like winning the Mizzies every single day. Bo even has a present for Miz: a framed photo of Miz himself. Dallas: “It’s going to be hard to get to sleep without that tonight.” Miz: “….what?”

Axel has his own present: the suit jacket that he’s wearing! Dallas offers his watch and Axel tries his shoes but Miz tells them both to sit down. Miz brags about his 2017 and promises to make it even bigger this year. We see a clip of Shield TripleBombing Miz through a table to put him on the shelf two months ago, which of course requires revenge.

Miz says the champion makes the title and daddy is home. In 2018, he’s celebrating the birth of his daughter and become the greatest Intercontinental Champion of all time. He’s back for the title and you can believe that. This was the most serious Miz has been on the main roster in a long time and it feels like he’s been elevated a bit, which is long overdue.

Balor Club tries to talk strategy for tonight but Anderson and Gallows would rather make Japan references. They agree to make 2018 the year of Balor Club.

Cruiserweight Title: Enzo Amore vs. Cedric Alexander

Enzo is defending. Before the match, Enzo talks about missing last week’s show but being taken care of by Nia Jax. Last week he was in the hospital and watched the show, which included the Zo Train facing Cedric and Goldust. Then Enzo got it: they were teaming so Cedric can get close to gold, because he’s not winning the title.

Cedric drops him with a single right hand, followed by a kick to the head to really drop Enzo. We see Nia Jax watching in the back as Enzo is pulled away from the ropes to keep Enzo in trouble. Enzo knocks him off the top in a heap though and Cedric is holding his back as we take a break.

Back with Enzo grabbing a chinlock but getting dropkicked out of the air for his efforts. Cedric fights back with some clotheslines followed by the Neuralizer. Another kick sets up a big flip dive but Enzo comes up screaming about his ankle. He’s busted open too as the trainer comes over to check on him but that’s a countout at 8:50.

Rating: D+. He better have a broken ankle at this point as it would get the title off of him. It’s good to have the title match over and Cedric is likely to get a rematch, but they desperately need something fresh in this division. There’s only so much you can do with waiting on another title match for so long but at the same time you can’t have Enzo actually wrestle that often because there’s nothing he can do in the ring.

Post break Enzo is in the trainer’s room when Nia comes to check on him.

Angle is on the phone with some legendary female wrestler about a spot in the Rumble but has to go when the Bar comes in. They want their rematch for the titles and aren’t happy with the six man tag main event. Sheamus claims favoritism but Angle makes the title match at the Rumble. That’s cool with them and Angle gives them a match against some surprise competition tonight. The two of them leave and Miz comes in to brag about his upcoming reality series along with Maryse. Miz wants his rematch for the Intercontinental Title at the 25^th anniversary of Raw. Angle thinks it’s a good idea and the match is set.

Earlier today, Miz found out that Asuka will be his partner for the Mixed Match Challenge.

Alexa Bliss comes in to see Asuka and threatens her with Nia Jax. It’s as short as it sounds.

The Bar vs. Titus Worldwide

Sheamus knocks Titus around to start before it’s off to Crews for a dropkick on Cesaro. The standing moonsault gets two but Apollo is sent outside, seeming to bang up his knee in the process. Back in and Sheamus grabs a wristlock as Dana Brooke plays cheerleader. Crews gets over for the tag and the beatdown continues as everything breaks down. Apollo dodges a Brogue Kick by moonsaulting onto Cesaro, allowing Titus to roll Sheamus up for the pin at 5:30.

Rating: D. Uh, sure? I’m glad to see Crews getting a win for once but this feels like a way to have Sheamus and Cesaro come back and crush them in a rematch as we get closer to the Rumble. The match was nothing to see as it was all about the surprise, which certainly worked, though I’m not exactly ready to put Titus Worldwide in the title hunt.

Here are Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar to talk about old school. The thing is, this is a progressive industry where you need fresh ways to present the ideas to the audience and the general public. They’ve gotten away from the old school way of promoting a Universal Title match (oh come on), which was all about finding a challenger who could possibly pin or tap out a champion.

Now the Universal Title is marketed as how could Brock survive this time. Even Lesnar thinks it sucks. At the Rumble, it’s Brock vs. monster #1 and monster #2 but the only cliffhanger is who Lesnar will pin. Heyman knows no one can beat this man and that’s all that matters. Lesnar goes up the ramp but here’s Kane for the fight.

They fight into the back where Braun Strowman shows up and runs them both over. Brock is thrown into a wall where a big case falls on him. Strowman throws another case onto Kane (that is some scary power) before pulling out….a grappling hook? He attaches it to a big old piece of the set and pulls it down onto both guys for a huge crash, sending Heyman and everyone else behind him into fits of screams. That was quite the set piece and my goodness it should have killed them both. Worry not though, as I’m sure Lesnar will be just fine to lose to Reigns in New Orleans.

I know that’s harped on but it’s the problem with the entire Universal Title picture. Why should I even possibly buy that Strowman, who Lesnar has already beaten, or Kane (because HA) is going to take the title at the Rumble? Even if they do, there’s no way they’re defending it at Wrestlemania because that’s Reigns’ spot and everyone knows it. I know it sounds lame but that’s what goes through my head every time I see anything related to the title.

Post break, Brock was taken out on a stretcher while Kane was allowed to walk away on his own. Well limp away but you get the idea. Lesnar didn’t want to go to the hospital but went anyway.

Samoa Joe vs. Rhyno

Joe starts fast with an enziguri in the corner and a headbutt cuts off Rhyno’s comeback. More right hands give Rhyno a breather until an STO cuts him off. A running big boot into the backsplash gives Joe two, followed by the Koquina Clutch to make Rhyno tap at 2:44. Short and to the point with Joe looking dominant, as he should.

Post match Joe says he’s taken years off of Reigns’ career and the cracks are starting to show. When everything comes crashing down, he’ll be there to pick up the pieces. As for now though, he’s entering the Royal Rumble. Joe is ready for everyone, including John Cena, which is a name that he’ll never forget.

Alexa sucks up to Nia again, this time saying that Enzo might be holding her back. Nia says Enzo motivates her to be a champion so she’s entering the Royal Rumble. She’s Alexa’s favorite to win but thinks Nia should take Asuka out first. Nia doesn’t buy it but Alexa stays on the “Asuka is talking about you” train. Nia: “CAN IT BLISS!”

Alexa whispers something that Asuka said in Nia’s ear and Nia can’t believe Asuka said that….because Asuka doesn’t speak English and Bliss doesn’t speak Japanese. If you ignore the times that Asuka has spoken English, there’s nothing wrong with this segment. Like, EARLIER TONIGHT WHEN SHE TALKED TO MIZ ABOUT THE MIXED MATCH CHALLENGE FOR EXAMPLE!!!

Announced for the 25^th anniversary show: Steve Austin! Ric Flair! The Undertaker! Shawn Michaels! THE BELLA TWINS!

Asuka comes out for a match but Nia shows up and lays her out.

Royal Rumble card rundown.

Asuka vs. Nia is set for next week.

Balor Club vs. Roman Reigns/Seth Rollins/Jason Jordan

Balor and Rollins start things off with Balor scoring off an early double stomp. It’s off to Anderson in a hurry but Reigns tags himself in so house can be cleaned in a hurry, including a double shoulder to Balor. Back from a break with Reigns working over Balor until a Sling Blade cuts him off. Gallows and Anderson take over in the corner with Luke grabbing a chinlock. Anderson drops a knee and puts on a chinlock of his own.

Back up and Reigns gets in a clothesline to drop Anderson but Gallows won’t give up the hot tag. The third chinlock goes on but Reigns no sells a big boot and scores with a Superman Punch. The hot tag brings in Rollins for the Blockbuster, followed by a Sling Blade on Anderson. Gallows breaks up the Wind-Up knee and Anderson’s spinebuster gets two.

Rollins makes the tag to Reigns but Jordan distracts the referee by mistake so Rollins stays legal. A Magic Killer plants Rollins so Reigns goes outside to fight two on one. Jordan tries to help Rollins up, allowing Balor to hit the shotgun dropkick. The Coup de Grace gives Balor the pin at 15:28.

Rating: C-. The chinlockery hurt this a lot but I’m not sure anyone was expecting this to be any more than another wedge between Jordan and company, which is all it needed to be. That team isn’t going to hold together that much longer and it makes sense to have them split up just in time for the Rumble.

Post match Miz and the Miztourage come in to attack Rollins, Jordan and Reigns. Roman takes a Skull Crushing Finale and the TripleBomb to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was a storytelling show and, aside from the part where they couldn’t remember the clip they aired earlier in the night where Asuka spoke English, they accomplished that goal. They’re getting stuff set up for both the big anniversary show (which could be a blast) and the Rumble (which should be a blast). The wrestling tonight wasn’t the point but that’s often the case around this time of year. Not a great show but one that did its job, which is often more important.

Results

Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Mandy Rose/Sonya Deville – Bank Statement to Rose

Matt Hardy b. Curt Hawkins – Twist of Fate

Cedric Alexander b. Enzo Amore via countout

Titus Worldwide b. The Bar – Rollup to Sheamus

Samoa Joe b. Rhyno – Koquina Clutch

Balor Club b. Roman Reigns/Jason Jordan/Seth Rollins – Coup de Grace to Rollins

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s the Rated RK-No Special.

This is one of the awards that often shows you how bad things can get. There’s a fine line between a match that isn’t very good and one of the worst of the year. That’s the case this time around as well, meaning I won’t be including matches that aren’t very good because I’m looking for something far worse than that. These are the worst of the worst for one reason or another.

Before we get into the regular nominees, I’m intentionally leaving out Goldberg vs. Kevin Owens from Fastlane. It was 20 seconds long and it’s kind of hard to make a match really be that bad in so short a time. The match was stupid booking instead of a bad match, which are two very different things.

We’ll start with the ladies as Alexa Bliss and Bayley which had one of the most career destroying fallouts that you’ll ever see. Bayley still hasn’t recovered from this and there’s a good chance that she never will. The whole story was about Bayley channeling her inner extreme and then she just got the heck beaten out of her in the actual match. Terrible idea and a really bad match, which is quite the horrible concept.

Next up is House of Horrors from Payback, which wasn’t even the worse Orton vs. Bray Wyatt match of the year. This was basically a segment in a house (which wasn’t horrory), an hour off, and then a brawl in the ring with interference giving Bray the win. Wyatt gets nothing out of winning because it’s non-title and then the Brand Split screwed everything up anyway. Easily a horrible match, but it would get worse for these two.

Let’s spread the venom a little more with the men’s Survivor Series match. I don’t remember the last time I saw a match and wondered what the heck they were thinking more than this. It was COMPLETELY overbooked, the big stars they brought in didn’t mean much, and it wound up being about HHH vs. Kurt Angle. Oh and that whole Braun Strowman attacks HHH thing? Still waiting on a followup. This was a straight up disaster and one of the biggest missed opportunities in a long time.

It’s time to get to Battleground and one of its two horrible matches of the night. First up is the flag match between John Cena and Rusev, which was as much pandering to the show’s name as I had seen on anything other than the Royal Rumble. This was long, it was never in doubt, and it was flat out terrible, along with having a rather heavy handed set up in the first place. Cena is better than this, but he seems to have forgotten how to do so.

And now, in a rarity, I present you with a tie for the worst match of the year. In no particular order, we have Randy Orton vs. Bray Wyatt at Wrestlemania XXXIII and Randy Orton vs. Jinder Mahal in the Punjabi Prison match at Battleground. Both of these are horrible for reasons that I can’t quite differentiate, meaning I can’t put one beneath the other.

We’ll start at Wrestlemania, which not only felt like a nothing title change but also featured Bray’s main event run (which was long overdue in the first place) having its legs cut out from under him (and he’s showing no signs of recovering), title reign for Orton that is as transitional as you can get, and A BUNCH OF FREAKING BUGS BEING DISPLAYED ON THE MAT FOR NO APPARENT REASON! I get the idea of Wyatt trying to get in Orton’s head, but it didn’t even work. Orton just shrugged it off, hit the RKO, and won the title. What was the point of this?

Speaking of that, what in the world was the point in having the Punjabi Prison match go that long? It felt like they could have chopped a good fifteen minutes (it was less than thirty altogether) from the thing and told the same story: Orton dominates, the Singh Brothers interfere, Mahal gets beaten up some more, the Brothers interfere, Great Khali makes a one off appearance and Mahal retains. It was long, it was terrible, and Mahal retained the title.

But was it as bad as Orton vs. Wyatt in Orlando? Well…

I don’t know, because I’m not thinking about these things again and you shouldn’t either. Go watch some old Divas matches which were at least so bad they were funny. These were so bad that they belong in a woodchipper somewhere. The bad stuff was REALLY bad this year and I can’t imagine things actually being worse this year.

Royal Rumble 1998
Date: January 18, 1998
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 18,542
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Mike Tyson is in a skybox.

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Back in and Luna trips Vader up, finally allowing Goldie to get in a clothesline. Another clothesline puts him down and Goldust works on the leg a bit. Goldie drops a middle rope elbow to the ribs and we head back to the floor. Vader is sent into the steps so Luna can choke him a bit before we head back in. Goldust pounds away again but stops to kiss Vader. I may not be a pro wrestler, but I know better than to kiss a guy called the Rocky Mountain Monster.

Vader kills him with a clothesline and suplexes Goldust down before getting two off a splash. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but a low blow stops him cold. Another clothesline puts Goldie down again and Vader sits on his chest. He loads up the Bomb again and despite Luna jumping in his back, Vader drops it anyway and crushes Goldust for the pin.

Austin gets here and tells Cole to park his truck. Southern Justice (the heel Godwinns) follow him, presumably to jump him.

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

The Nation goes to attack Austin but only find an Austin foam finger.

We recap Shamrock vs. Rock. Shamrock has charged through the Nation to get this shot at the unofficial leader of the team. Mark Henry joined the Nation to save Rock from Shamrock less than a week ago.

The Nation argues over which of them will win the Rumble. Rock says the fans of course want to know what he thinks of Clinton and Paula Jones, so he tells the President not to lie down with dogs or you might get fleas. This joke would be done way better over the next few weeks.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Rock is defending of course. Feeling out process to start with Rocky trying to get a cheap shot in the corner. Both guys shove the other into the corner and Shamrock blocks a shot to the face before hitting one of his own. They run the ropes a bit until Shamrock kicks him in the chest and knocks the champion out to the floor. Back in and Rock pounds away a bit before hitting a corner clothesline. Ken comes back with some clotheslines of his own but the standing clothesline is countered into a hot shot for two.

Post match the referee finds the knuckles and reverses the decision. The referee is beaten up very badly for his efforts.

A Coliseum Video Exclusive from “moments later” show a clean and dry Shamrock in jeans attacking the Rock.

Los Boricuas attack someone that they think is Austin but find one of the Disciples of Apocalypse. Brawling ensues.

We recap the LOD vs. the Outlaws, which is old school vs. new with the Outlaws defending the titles. The Outlaws put a big old beating on the LOD and tonight is their return.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Legion of Doom

The Outlaws destroy Animal until Hawk snaps the handcuffs to make the save.

Some fan wins the Austin truck.

We recap the build up to the Rumble. Basically, everyone knows Austin is going to win and EVERYONE else in the Rumble is trying to stop him but not one has been able to slow him down at all. The only difference here: the fans were eating this stuff up with a spoon.

Royal Rumble

Mosh and Funk pair off as do the other two guys. Funk (the announcers are calling him that too) tries a moonsault but it winds up being more of a headbutt than a splash. Phineas Godwinn is #6 and helps Rock beat up Mosh. Not much happens for a bit until 8-Ball of the DOA is #7. Jack misses a charge and Funk backdrops him out to empty the ring out a bit. Apparently someone who might have been Ken Shamrock has attacked Austin.

The Nation members are thrown together and Rock gets hit by Sweet Shin Music and the double arm DDT. Austin hits Dude low and Faarooq throws Love out. Rock puts out Faarooq to give us Austin vs. Rock. They slug it out and Rock is thrown to the apron. Austin is fine with Stunning him and throwing him out to go on to Wrestlemania where he would claim his destiny.

Tyson celebrates “Cole Stone” Steve Austin winning the Rumble.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels

The forearm from Shawn sets up the nipup which sets up the top rope elbow. He must be either high as a kite on painkillers or on a huge adrenaline rush to be able to have a match like this at this point. The superkick knocks Taker out cold but Shawn is Shawn and stops for a crotch chop. Taker grabs him by the balls and we head back inside for the beating Shawn deserves. Another Flair Flip sets up the big boot, but Taker misses a clothesline and lands in the casket.

Post match Kane nails the casket shut and hacks at it with an ax. He pours gasoline inside and LIGHTS IT ON FIRE to end the show. Taker of course would disappear from the casket once it was opened up.

Ratings Comparison

Vader vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust

Original: B-

Redo: D

Max Mini/Mosaic/Nova vs. Battalion/El Torito/Tarantula

Original: B-

Redo: C

The Rock vs. Ken Shamrock

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Legion of Doom vs. New Age Outlaws

Original: D+

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker

Original: B

Redo: B

Overall Rating

Original: C-

Redo: D

….what in the world was I on back then?

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/18/royal-rumble-count-up-1998-austin-isnt-a-lock-to-win-please-believe-us/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1997
Date: January 19, 1997
Location: Alamodome, San Antonio, Texas
Attendance: 60,235
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The announcers preview the show and Lawler is VERY excited about the main event.

Intercontinental Title: Goldust vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

HHH actually comes off the top with an ax handle but a running knee hits the barricade. As JR asks about a DQ again, Goldust starts in on the knee like a good challenger should. We hit a Figure Four as this is already dragging horribly. The knee goes into the steps again as the announcers are wondering why the referee is letting so much go. Back in and Goldust misses a crossbody (called a high risk by JR) to send him outside as HHH takes over again.

Bret Hart is used to being the marked man in a match so the Royal Rumble will be no different.

Faarooq vs. Ahmed Johnson

A shot to the kidneys slows Johnson down and Faarooq calls for a belt, earning himself a clothesline in the process though. The brawl heads outside for a bit with neither being able to keep control all that long as you would expect in a brawl like this. A chair to the back keeps Ahmed in trouble and Faarooq opts to just kick him in the kidneys for good measure.

Post match the Nation bails for some reason, leaving Ahmed to Pearl River Plunge one of them through a table.

Vader vs. Undertaker

Vader leaves with Bearer and Undertaker beats up a referee.

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Fuerza Guerrera/Heavy Metal

Attendance announcement.

Royal Rumble

Flash Funk is in at #27 and Lawler wants the Funkettes. Bret piledrives the heck out of Austin and Flash dives off the top to take out Diesel and Terry. Vader is in at #28 as I start to miss people wrestling earlier in the show and still being in the Royal Rumble. For some reason Flash makes the mistake of going after him, only to get pummeled down in a hurry. Henry Godwinn is in at #29 to bring the talent WAY down in a hurry.

The still unknown brothers have a bit of a fight as Vince calls Undertaker the favorite. Vader throws Flash out and we have Henry vs. Undertaker for a rather off brawl. Rocky almost has Bret out until Vader makes the save for no apparent reason. Austin and Funk chop each other half to death and probably have a blast doing so.

Bret has another tirade and while he has a point, he handles it like a baby.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Sid

Sid is defending of course. Shawn stares him down to start and is quickly shoved across the ring without too much effort. A kick to the chest puts Sid on the floor but he comes right back in and grabs a camel clutch. That goes nowhere (other than around for a long time) so Sid tries a chinlock, followed by one heck of a clothesline.

The forearm into the flying elbow connects but Sid goes outside to yell at Jose and his son. We get a ref bump so the chokeslam only gets two as a second ref comes in. Sid knocks the second referee down so Shawn hits him with the camera for two. The superkick gives Shawn the title back.

A ridiculously long celebration ends the show.

Ratings Comparison

HHH vs. Goldust

Original: C-

2013 Redo: C-

2017 Redo: F+

Ahmed Johnson vs. Faarooq

Original: D+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: D

Vader vs. Undertaker

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D+

2017 Redo: C-

Hector Garza/Perro Aguayo/El Canek vs. Jerry Estrada/Heavy Metal/Fuerza Guerrera

Original: F

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: C+

2013 Redo: B-

2017 Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Sycho Sid

Original: C+

2013 Redo: C+

2017 Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: C+

2013 Redo: D

2017 Redo: D

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/17/royal-rumble-count-up-1997-bret-hart-uh-make-that-austin/

And the 2013 redo:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-2013-redo-1997-why-austin-was-a-near-perfect-character/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1996
Date: January 21, 1996
Location: Selland Arena, Fresno, California
Attendance: 9,600
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Mr. Perfect

We open with Sunny in a bathtub, saying this show is graphic and view discretion is advised.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Ahmed Johnson

Rating: C-. I was always an Ahmed fan so this was an easy pass for me. The image of the Swanton looked great if nothing else, which is more than enough to give this a pass. Jarrett was such a mess at this point and never went anywhere in the WWF. The ending completely sucked though and it really brought things down.

BUY OUR STUFF!

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Prichard with a BIG haircut). They have Sunny with them and my goodness is she smoking (no pun intended) here. The Guns are defending. Skip and Billy start things off with Skip taking over with a headscissors. Just like Ahmed earlier, Billy misses a charge against the ropes and crashes to the outside. Both Gunns get double teamed until Bart ducks out of the way, allowing a charging Billy to dive onto both Donnas on the floor.

Intercontinental Title: Razor Ramon vs. Goldust

The yet to be named Marlena debuts with Goldie here. Razor is defending as is his custom. Feeling out process to start with Goldust playing his usual mind games, which means rubbing himself. Razor cranks on the arm before grabbing a headlock which goes nowhere. Goldust goes behind Razor and molests him a bit to psych Razor out even more. They head to the corner with Razor having his head rubbed a bit, ticking him off even more.

Razor goes for the arm so Goldust slaps him in the face. Perfect keeps making sex jokes as Razor slaps Goldust right back in the face. He spanks Goldie once as well, but the painted dude likes it. We head to the floor where Goldust hides behind Marlena as the stalling continues. Back in and Razor tries three straight headscissors before punching Goldust to the floor with a single shot.

We get more stalling which is called playing mind games before Ramon clotheslines him right back to the outside. Razor has to move Marlena out of the way, allowing Goldust to FINALLY do something, taking over with a shot to the ribs. Back in and Goldust focuses on the ribs, but not too much because that might mean we have some speed to this match. A bulldog gets two for Goldust as does a slingshot belly to back suplex.

Rating: D-. Sweet freaking goodness this was dull. It went on WAY too long and had a bad ending on top of that, plus the stupid “psychology” from Goldust which wound up being more unpleasant than interesting or intelligent. Goldust would get WAY better when he became more of a comedy/parody character rather than this freaky dude that he was to start his WWF run. The matches got a lot better as a result too.

Wrestlemania 12 is coming.

Vince and Perfect talk about the Rumble a bit.

Royal Rumble

Vader debuts at #13 and lumbers around while not doing much. He picks Bob Holly of all people to beat on first as Vega eliminates Dory. Vader pulls Savio back in from the apron for no apparent reason other than he wants to beat on him some more. Doug Gilbert from Memphis is #14 and HHH goes right after him for no apparent reason. Vader and Yoko slug it out to a big reaction but Vader has to stop to clothesline Roberts out.

Shawn does his usual overblown self safe as Holly and Austin fight. FINALLY Holly goes out after nearly forty minutes. HHH vs. Austin happens about three years before it would mean anything. Barry Horowitz (with the AWESOME rock version of Hava Nagila) is #25 and he goes after Diesel. Well no one ever accused him of being brilliant. Shawn nips up to knock Owen to the apron, but Hart skins the cat back in. Cool little sequence there.

Smith and Michaels fight to the floor and Owen jumps Shawn for good measure. Shawn shrugs it off and goes in to dropkick Yankem out. Kama and Diesel put out Droese to get us down to four. Shawn clotheslines Smith out before skinning the cat back in. Diesel dumps Kama and Shawn superkicks the tall one (in the shoulder) out to win for the second year in a row.

Diesel is ticked off about the ending and goes back in as Shawn is stripping. They do their old Wolfpack thing in the middle of the ring (a high five where Shawn has to jump) and all is cool. Shawn poses for a long time post match.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

Rating: D+. This started VERY slow but got better for the last ten minutes or so, but the ending brings it right back down again. If this had been a fifteen minute match or so it would have been WAY better, but they only had so many other matches on the card, meaning this had to be longer. Diesel would face Taker at Mania of course.

Gorilla Monsoon makes Diesel vs. Bret for the title at the next PPV.

Shawn says the 90s will be his time.

Cornette says Vader cannot be ignored. He pretty much was until Summerslam.

Ratings Comparison

Ahmed Johnson vs. Jeff Jarrett

Original: D+

Redo: C-

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

Original: D

Redo: C-

Goldust vs. Razor Ramon

Original: D

Redo: D-

Royal Rumble

Original: D

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Undertaker

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Overall Rating

Original: D-

Redo: D

Amazingly enough I liked it a bit better this time.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/15/royal-rumble-count-up-1996-shawns-texas-two-step/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

You have to restock the shelves somehow.

Over time, wrestling fans are going to get bored with the current crop of talent. Seeing them every single week is going to cause you to stop caring about them at some point, which means that enough is enough and it’s time for a change (thanks Owen). Therefore, today we’re looking at the best rookies and newcomers of the year.

Just to clarify, this isn’t someone we haven’t seen before but rather someone who made their debut on a new roster. You can barely ever find a true rookie and it would give you quite a shallow talent pool to pick from.

We’ll start in developmental with one of the latest names to become a big deal off of Tough Enough. Patrick Clark is now named the Velveteen Dream and while that sounds like a stupid name and gimmick on paper, Dream has turned it into one of the most entertaining things around NXT. On top of that he had one of the best matches of the year against Aleister Black and there’s a very high place on this list for him.

If there’s one thing WWE knows how to do, it’s book the heck out of a monster. That’s what they have with Lars Sullivan and he’s one of the best I’ve seen in years about running through people with reckless abandon. Just don’t let him talk and he could be one of the best monsters NXT has had since Bray Wyatt.

We’ll stick with NXT (shocking I know) and look at Aleister Black. While he might not talk very much, Black lets his fighting do the talking, including that awesome Black Mass kick. Couple that with his amazing presentation and the sweet entrance and there’s no way Black won’t look awesome. He can kick your head off and look awesome doing it. If he’s not NXT Champion by the end of the year, I’ll be rather surprised.

This was actually a really hard pick and it took me a long time to make up my mind between this one and the winner. Pete Dunne is one of the best young stars I’ve seen in a very long time. He has an incredible look and has some great matches to go with it, all in his early 20s. My only criticism of him is we don’t see enough of him, which is the case with almost all of the British guys. He’s outstanding and there are a lot of people I’d love to see him against on the NXT roster. Give us more.

You really can’t say Dunne without going with Tyler Bate as well. Those two have beaten the heck out of each other in three straight up classics (even Jim Cornette loved them) and you can’t have a great match without a great opponent. Bate is just 20 years old and that alone makes him an amazing newcomer.

As great as all of those people have been, the big one for me is still Samoa Joe. Not only did he debut and start a pretty dominant feud against Seth Rollins, but he moved on to become a big time Roman Reigns antagonist, plus there was that whole main eventing a pay per view against Brock Lesnar and then being in the main event of Summerslam. Joe should have been in WWE about ten years ago but better late than never, especially when you have such a high level of awesome.

Monday Night Raw
Date: February 14, 2000
Location: San Jose Arena, San Jose, California
Attendance: 13,300
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

This is on my request list and I’m actually making an effort to clear the thing out a little bit. We’re coming up on No Way Out 2000, meaning HHH is still trying to fend off Cactus Jack, who wants to fight him inside the Cell. I’m really not sure why this show was requested but it’s a good time for the company with the Radicalz freshly on the roster. Let’s get to it.

If you’re not familiar with this time, I’ve already done the February 7 show, which you can check out here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/08/17/monday-night-raw-february-7-2000-this-show-is-so-excellent-i-dont-have-a-catchy-title-for-it/

Also of note: this aired at 11pm due to the Westminster Dog Show. It still flattened Nitro.

Opening sequence.

I miss that pyro. But hey, we need to cut every cost ever right?

Here are the freshly heel Radicalz (with Eddie’s wrecked arm in a sling) for a chat but they’re cut off by fellow heels DX. Stephanie, far before she had the confidence to back up her voice, tells us to listen up and then shut up. We see a clip from Smackdown of Kane attacking his ex-girlfriend Tori.

Stephanie blames the fans for egging Kane on because it was their reactions that made him tombstone her. If it’s suffering the people want, it’s suffering they’ll get tonight. HHH is tired of people accusing them of being too light on their adversaries so tonight, the real punishment begins. They’ll start with Too Cool, including Grandmaster Sexay vs. Road Dogg and Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Billy Gunn. That brings him to Dean Malenko and Perry Saturn, who will go 2-1 against Rikishi. The only one left is Rock, who gets to face Chris Benoit.

With everyone else out of the way, HHH thinks Kane needs to learn about respect for women. Kane needs to learn that women are his equal and he can’t chokeslam them, even if he doesn’t quite have the X Factor to please a woman like Tori. Therefore, to teach him a lesson, it’s going to be Kane vs. X-Pac in a no holds barred match at No Way Out. X-Pac isn’t happy but HHH has a stipulation: to get X-Pac, Kane has to beat HHH and a mystery partner in a No DQ match tonight. Cue all the good guys mentioned here to clean house.

Edge vs. D-Von Dudley vs. Jeff Hardy

The winner’s team gets a Tag Team Title shot at No Way Out. Edge and Jeff get together for some Poetry in Motion on D-Von as Bubba yells at JR about putting BB (a woman who wasn’t around very long) through a table. D-Von fights back and drops an elbow on Jeff for two, only to have Edge missile dropkick both of them down.

The partners try to get involved but it’s Bubba getting suplexed on the floor for his efforts. The announcers get Jeff and Matt confused (I did the same for years) as Jeff hits a Twist of Fate into the Swanton for two on D-Von. Edge spears Jeff down but gets caught in the reverse implant DDT to give D-Von the fast pin.

Rating: D+. This was just a means to an end but it’s still kind of weird to see D-Von in a singles match. The Dudleys were still pretty new around this point but it was time for them to move up the ranks in a hurry. The tag division was about to take off and this was one of the first major steps to get us there.

Mark Henry and Mae Young get a hotel suite for Valentine’s Day and make it the honeymoon suite, much to the desk clerk’s shock and awe.

Road Dogg vs. Grandmaster Sexay

Dogg breaks up the rather lengthy dancing but gets caught in what would become known as the Skull Crushing Finale for his efforts. Back in and Dogg gets to do some dancing, only to charge into a boot in the corner. A bulldog is broken up though as Sexay is crotched in the corner, followed by a running kick to the head for good measure. Sexay is right back up and crotches Dogg on the top to even things out a bit. The Hip Hop Drop misses though and Dogg’s pumphandle slam is good for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but what are you expecting from these two in a singles match? There’s a reason that they were put into teams more often than not and that was rather evident here. Dogg was a great talker but once he had to be in the ring, a lot of his talents were exposed in a hurry.

Mark carries Mae over the threshold and we get a Do Not Disturb tag on the door.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Al Snow/Steve Blackman

Godfather does his full entrance and it’s kind of amazing to think this airs on the same show that we see today. In the back, Snow is trying to hypnotize Blackman into having an interesting personality. Godfather offers Blackman the ladies but gets turned down, setting off a HEAD CHEESE chant. Snow and Godfather get things going with Al avoiding a running elbow. A kick to the back cuts Godfather off as Lawler oogles the ladies. Blackman comes in and kicks Brown down but stops to yell at Snow for carousing with the women. The distraction lets Brown get a sunset flip for the pin, giving Snow and Blackman their first loss.

Mark and Mae get romantic with talks of getting into something more comfortable.

Here’s European Champion (and still relative newcomer) Kurt Angle to talk about how much better Europe is since he won the title. The economy is up, suicide rates are down and tourism is up 16.4%. Whereas in America, the stock market has collapsed and towns like San Jose continue to fall into a deeper depression.

Those falls coincide with Chris Jericho becoming Intercontinental Champion so Angle needs to intervene. Therefore, Angle wants a title shot at No Way Out so he can save America. Angle wants Jericho to come out now but when there’s no Chris, Kurt goes into a rant about Chyna being on the Tonight Show in a rather low cut outfit. He was on the Tonight Show after the Olympics but didn’t embarrass himself because of a little thing called the 3 I’s.

Before he can list them off though, here’s Jericho (who has only been around about six months himself) to interrupt. Jericho heard Angle talking about America falling into a depression but all Angle is doing is make America fall asleep. The brawl is on with Jericho getting the better of it until referees break it up. Cue Chyna to DDT Angle on the floor and celebrate with Jericho. Really strong segment here as you could feel the fire from these two young, hungry and talented guys. Once they threw Benoit in, the combinations just never stopped working.

Mark is in bed and Mae comes out in some lingerie. Shall we say, snuggling ensues and Lawler is almost sick in his crown.

Chris Benoit vs. The Rock

Eddie is in Benoit’s corner. They slug it out to start with Benoit hammering away in the corner but getting punched down for his efforts. A swinging neckbreaker gets two but Eddie grabs the foot to give Benoit an opening. Rock’s arm goes into the post and there’s a chair to the back to keep him in trouble. They’re keeping this one pretty simple so far and that’s the right idea with a TV match. It’s certainly better than throwing a pay per view level match for free on Raw with all of a few hours’ build.

Back in and we hit a cross armbreaker on Rock but Benoit lets it go in short order. A belly to back suplex gets two but Rock grabs a DDT. Eddie is up on the apron in short order though and there’s no count. There is a right hand to Eddie’s jaw however, allowing Benoit to slap on the Crossface. JR swears there’s no way out of the hold, naturally just a few seconds before Rock makes the rope.

The Samoan drop puts Benoit down again as Rock continues to just use basic punches and power moves while Benoit comes up with 28 ways to torture you per match. They fight to the floor where Big Show sneaks in (somehow) and knocks Rock into a German suplex for the pin.

Rating: B-. It’s nice to have some good wrestling, even if it has to be interrupted by Big Show. Rock and Benoit always had nice chemistry together and that made for some solid stuff until we got to the storyline ending. Rock is the kind of guy who can wrestle any kind of opponent and make his offense work. Couple that with a submission master and Rock’s good selling and there’s almost no way this could go bad.

Rock gets laid out post match.

Show, still looking muscular, says there’s no way out for Rock at No Way Out. He’s going to Wrestlemania, hallelujah.

Mark and Mae are in bed and it’s time to exchange gifts. Mae gets chocolates and Mark gets….oh good grief I remember this….edible underwear. Thankfully the camera stays up as she puts them on. The lights go off and…..Mark: “TUTTI-FRUITY!” I….yeah move on. TO ANYTHING ELSE!

Billy Gunn vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

Gunn, with the appropriate lips on his gear, punches Scotty down in the corner to start. The running bulldog sets up the Worm but since it’s just a chop, Billy is right back up with a Jackhammer. Dogg distracts the referee for no apparent reason though, allowing Grandmaster to get in a right hand to give Scotty the fluke pin.

The Outlaws’ music plays for some reason. Was Too Cool’s not fun enough or something?

Light Heavyweight Title: Crash Holly vs. Essa Rios

Rios is defending here, having won the title last night on Sunday Night Heat in his debut. Also of note, 12 year old KB loved Rios but thought Lita was holding him back. Hardcore sits in on commentary and says this is the start of a move away from being super heavyweights. They trade bouncing armdrags to start until Essa gets two off a tornado DDT. Crash sends him throat first into the ropes and pounds away before missing a charge in the corner. Lita even grabs a hurricanrana on the floor to quite the reaction. Yeah no future for her whatsoever. Back in and the moonsault retains the title.

Lita adds her own moonsault with Rios counting the pin. Ok so I might have been wrong on this one.

Post break the Hollys are still in the ring with Hardcore saying he’s going to show Crash how it’s done.

Hardcore Holly vs. Tazz

Tazz only debuted less than a month ago. Holly jumps him during the entrance and raises a boot in the corner to stop a charge. A powerslam gives Holly two as the announcers talk about gimmicks. Barbecue sauce is NOT a gimmick by the way, but it might not be able to make Mae’s gift delicious. Holly’s dropkick lets him pose but Tazz grabs a suplex. The Tazmission goes on but Crash comes in for the DQ.

Crash gets beaten up for the third time tonight.

Rikishi Phatu vs. Perry Saturn/Dean Malenko

The villains jump him at the same time to start and quickly eat a double clothesline. A one man 3D drops Malenko and Saturn takes a Samoan drop. That means a double Stinkface but Saturn is back up with a superkick to take over. Rikishi reverses a double suplex but nearly drops both of them on his own attempt. That really didn’t look good, though Rikishi was never quite known for his power. The Rikishi Driver (a sitout Tombstone instead of over the shoulder but still great looking) knocks Malenko silly and a belly to belly drops Saturn. Rikishi loads up the Banzai Drop but Eddie comes in with a pipe to the leg for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was actually better than I was expecting (botched double suplex aside) with serious Rikishi still being somewhat awesome at times. That Rikishi Driver still looked great and some of the power stuff Rikishi could do worked well enough. I could have gone with the Radicalz not basically being squashed so soon after debuting though and that’s not a great sign for their futures.

The Radicalz work on the leg even more until Too Cool makes the save.

Kane vs. HHH/???

No DQ and if Kane wins, he gets X-Pac at No Way Out. The mystery partner is….not X-Pac, who comes out just before the real partner: Big Show. Kane has to slug away at everyone to start and Show breaks up an early chokeslam attempt. We settle down to the big men starting things off with Kane shrugging off some right hands.

JR talks about Show “shocking the world” earlier tonight when he cost Rock a match earlier. I don’t know if he even shocked half of the arena Jim. The fans are logically chanting for Rock as HHH stomps Kane down in the corner. The facebuster and jumping knee put Kane down as we’re just waiting for Rock here. Kane slugs away until a DDT pulls him down for two. Show comes back in for the elbows in the corner as the announcers debate whether or not Kane should have Tombstoned Tori.

Kane fights back on HHH with a big boot, followed by a jumping clothesline to Big Show. A low blow cuts HHH down and X-Pac throws in a chair but here’s Rock….who is immediately chokeslammed. X-Pac comes in to help with the beatdown but Cactus Jack comes in for the real save (running Tori over in the process). Rock chairs Show into a chokeslam for the pin. JR: “BIG SHOW WINS IT! BIG SHOW FACES X-PAC AT NO WAY OUT!” Lawler: “NO! KANE WON!” JR: “KANE WON!” Geez dude.

Rating: D+. Screwy commentary at the end aside, this was perfectly fine with everything you would expect it to have been. When the fans have figured out what’s coming for the ending it’s probably not the best idea in the world, but at least it’s only a few minutes long. There’s no need to stretch this out for longer than it needed to go and they didn’t do that here. Not a bad match but really just there to serve a single purpose.

The good guys clean house to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a good example of how building to a pay per view used to work. Look at how many stories (some better than others) were advanced here. A lot of them were set up in the first segment but as the show went on, the whole thing tied together. However, they managed to do that with a bunch of short matches, which made me wonder where the wrestling was, and why that’s not the best way of thinking.

That’s where the modern fan in me is coming out and shows you how different things are. Today you get the long matches and the big storyline developments in chunks. This is much more about moving things slowly and that works much better week to week, which is how this was supposed to go. It makes for a slower pace because things don’t all happen at once, instead going week to week. You know, for a reason to come back. Now why can’t today’s Raw get that vibe?

They do it to an extent but the modern philosophy seems to be “air big match, air big match again, air same big match on pay per view”. Back in the day, you would actually have to PAY to see the big matches in a rather novel concept. It’s almost like the TV isn’t the be all end all of stuff and fans wanted to see the bigger matches down the line. I’m sure there’s no connection to wrestling’s popularity and this concept.

It also doesn’t help when you have commentary treating only a handful of things as important. How many times today do you see commentary either ignoring a match or basically calling half the wrestlers worthless or stupid? It feels like more than half the time, which makes so much stuff seem like a waste of time. When a lot of the matches are a waste of time, it makes for a weak show.

Overall though, this was a fun show with a lot of things happening but the show never feeling like it was dragging. There’s no match where you look at your watch to see how much longer it could possibly go and nothing feels repetitive. Why is that so hard to get to today? The lack of a second hour helped, but things were on such a roll at this point that it didn’t seem to matter.

Oh and then we had the Mae Young stuff. Today’s Raw doesn’t have that, therefore making it better almost by definition.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6