Impact Wrestling
Date: January 4, 2018
Location: Aberdeen Pavilion, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re back to the regular shows after two weeks of Best of 2017 episodes drew higher audiences than the standard ones. This is a big week as well with multiple title matches, including Eli Drake defending the World Title against Alberto El Patron in a match which might be taped from a WrestlePro event. Let’s get to it.

Dan Lambert tells the American Top Team guys that he has this tonight.

We preview tonight’s big tag match and four title matches. This is a stacked show but it really, really needs to draw.

Opening sequence.

X-Division Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. Trevor Lee

Lee is defending and has Caleb Konley in his corner. They fight over arm control to start because that’s the kind of exciting stuff this division is built on. Giving this match the level of attention it has earned, the announcers talk about every other big match taking place tonight. Ishimori dropkicks him out to the floor and moonsaults into a pose. Konley trips him up though and the champ takes over with a running kick on the apron.

Back with Ishimori scoring off a handspring kick to the face but missing the 450. Like a finisher is going to hit on the first attempt. Lee backslides him down but picks Ishimori up into a sitout powerbomb for two instead. Destino (Tetsuya Naito’s finisher) gives Ishimori two and the 450 is enough to get the title off of Lee at 13:16.

Rating: C+. There’s no secret that Ishimori is the best in the division but that’s not exactly saying much. The division barely means anything around here anymore and Ishimori isn’t going to be able to do anything on his own. It also doesn’t help that there’s not much setting the division apart. Ishimori has a good looking 450 but most of the division isn’t exactly known for flying around the ring. Give us something that makes them stand out aside from the label of being in the X-Division.

Alberto and Eli are ready to fight at WrestlePro. I know they need more content but this always feels like it’s cheap.

Dezmond Xavier wants a shot at Ishimori’s title. Makes sense after the Super X Cup and it’s better than nothing else.

LAX isn’t happy.

James Storm says tonight is a little different because he’s standing up for Impact Wrestling. I’m a big Storm fan but his “I’ve been here since the beginning” promo is getting old.

Grand Championship: Ethan Carter III vs. Fallah Bahh vs. Matt Sydal

Carter is defending and this is under the same round and scoring system as a standard one on one match. Yes they’re finding new ways to make this title stupid. Everyone brawls to start until Bahh clotheslines both of them down and slams Matt onto Eli. Bahh rolls onto both of them to break up a cover and chops the heck out of Carter in the corner. Carter gets run over again but he rolls away before a Banzai Drop. The first round ends and of course goes to Bahh.

Round two starts after a break with Bahh getting double teamed and knocked out to the floor. Sydal kicks Carter down for two but Eli gorilla presses him onto Bahh. Josh thinks Carter should try to win the match. Keep it up Josh and you’ll get up to Byron Saxton territory in no time. Carter throws Drake into the corner to end the round.

As you might expect, Carter wins the second round but Bahh runs them both over to start round three. Bahh sits on Carter’s chest for two with Sydal having to make a save. The TK3 plants Sydal and Carter breaks up another Bonzai Drop attempt. Bahh is back up and slows down the shooting star press, which Sydal hits just as time expires at 9:00. Carter wins round three and retains the title.

Rating: B-. As usual, the more fun I have with this match, the less interest I have in the whole concept. You could do the exact same thing with a ten minute time limit, which at least makes more sense than a nine minute time limit. I know I harp on these same issues over and over but sweet goodness they just do not learn with this thing. I’m not sure what they see in the whole concept but I don’t think anyone would be complaining if it was just dropped already.

Video on Johnny Impact. He really needs a fresh feud after all this stuff with Alberto, who hasn’t done much for Johnny’s status around here.

KM arrived and jumped Moose. Somehow, this has been quite the upgrade for him as of late.

Allie can’t believe she’s here but Gail Kim (take a freaking shot) told her she’d be here. Crazy Laurel Van Ness attacks her from behind.

Dan Lambert vs. James Storm

Loser leaves town and no holds barred. Lambert talks a lot of trash and here are the American Top Team guys for the beatdown. Lashley’s spinebuster gets two but Storm manages to Last Call everyone down. He hadn’t taken much damage but sweet goodness that’s quite the comeback. KM comes in with a beer bottle to Storm’s head for two. Lashley holds Lambert back, allowing a double beer bottle shot to put Storm away at 3:36.

Rating: F. And that’s it for Storm, who has been one of the longest standing stars of Impact for years now. It does kind of seem appropriate that he goes out putting someone else over, which is always the case for Storm. I could go for him putting over WRESTLERS on his way out but this American Top Team thing is out of hand at this point. It really would have been nice for Storm to get in any kind of important offense but this is how Impact is going to let someone go, because that’s what matters to them.

Post break, Storm gets an ovation from the locker room. Storm calls his family to say he’s coming home and you can barely hear him over the LAX chants while the other match is being taped at the same time. So he gets squashed and beaten down by non-wrestlers and then you can’t even hear his goodbye speech. As mentioned: such is life in Impact.

Video on the debut of Joseph Park, who started off looking for his brother Abyss. I was actually surprised that he was Abyss as I never would have recognized him. The fact that he looks like Penn Jillette made things more complicated.

We see the last few minutes of Joseph Park vs. Bully Ray from Slammiversary 2012.

Chandler Park vs. Jon Bolen

Park is indy mainstay Ethan Page. Bolen drops Park to start and runs him over with a shoulder for two. Josh plugs the upcoming Orlando tapings which will feature a miniature golf tournament. Well it’s better than a match from 2012. Joseph manages to get some cheers going and Bolen misses a charge in the corner. Chandler celebrates a bit too long though and gets the ropes kicked between his legs. For some reason Jon decides to insult Joseph’s Grandma Jenny and gets knocked into a rollup for the pin at 2:39. Park has a good look but this slip on a banana peel winning isn’t going to work for very long.

So to recap: they aired a video package which showed that they’re basically repeating the same idea with one of the participants being the same just five years later. Am I missing something here?

Sydal wants Carter one on one and says tonight’s defeat felt like a victory. He has a radical idea: a REGULAR MATCH for the title. I could certainly go for that idea, which is why I think they’ll manage to botch the thing.

Video on Alberto vs. Eli. Alberto is still mad about being abandoned by the company and makes threats in Spanish. Drake is a paper champion of course but says that the only paper involved with his title is all the paper money he makes. As usual, Eli is the best promo in this company.

From Rahway, New Jersey this past Saturday at a WrestlePro event.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Eli Drake vs. Alberto El Patron

Eli is defending and it’s a brawl before the bell. Jeremy tries to explain the low attendance on the horrible snowstorm over the weekend, even though this was taped nearly a month ago. Alberto gets an early two off a dropkick to the back and sends him into the barricade a few times. Drake is rammed into the buckles over and over but we’re clipped (on a show with a MATCH FROM NEARLY SIX YEARS AGO) to Drake choking on the ramp.

They take turns sending each other into the barricade with Drake getting the better of it for two inside. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Alberto gets the cross armbreaker over the ropes. Clipped again to the Gravy Train giving Drake two. Drake misses a belt shot and gets faceplanted onto the title for two more. The ref gets bumped though and a belt shot retains the title at 6:19.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness no. In addition to the lack of the time (six minutes for a World Title match is almost inexcusable in the first place), the clipping of the match (maybe they could only air so much of it) and the REALLY lame ending, there’s the fact that it wasn’t even held under their own brand. If the match being under the WrestlePro banner necessitated the clipping, maybe don’t have the thing under another banner and tape the match at your own tapings. Why is this stuff so freaking complicated for just this company? I’ve seen indy promotions that run once every month that are put together WAY better than this.

Here’s a clip from a Team Canada match in case you had gotten enough of this modern stuff.

Drake brags about his win and says the belt shot was a receipt for the DDT onto the title belt a few weeks back.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. OVE

OVE is defending and this is titles vs. careers. The champs jump LAX during the entrances and the weapons beatdown is on. If this is anything goes, there was no announcement saying such in the arena. The lights finally come up and we get an opening bell with Santana getting superkicked down for two.

We settle down to Dave choking Santana in the corner before it’s off to Jake to choke on the ropes. Santana fights back up but has no partner, meaning Jake can kick him back down for two. The stomping and choking based offense continues with Santana’s right hands having little effect as we take a break. Back with Santana still on his own but managing a cutter on Dave. Ortiz finally manages to get back to the ring, only to be knocked down to the floor again.

Santana has to slap his way to freedom as Ortiz is up on the apron. A DDT finally gets Santana over to the corner for the hot tag so Ortiz can Death Valley Drive Jake into Dave in the corner. Ortiz heads up top for a superplex but Dave reverses it into the Street Sweeper (stealing the finisher) for two more. Santana breaks up the All Seeing Eye and looks for something off the top onto Dave, only to dive into a cutter from Jake in a sweet looking visual. Jake and Ortiz are left to slug it out with Ortiz getting the better of it, setting up the Street Sweeper for the pin and the titles at 14:42.

Rating: B. The story was solid here as you have LAX winning when all the interference goes away despite OVE getting an early advantage. They did this the way they needed to but hokey smoke it’s time for some fresh challengers. I know there aren’t a lot of teams to go around this company but these four can’t feud together much longer, just for the sake of people getting burned out on the match.

Overall Rating: C+. This one depends on how you look at it. The good wrestling outweighed the bad wrestling but egads why can’t this company get the most basic stuff down? I know I mentioned it multiple times but they aired part of a match from 2012 and clipped the World Title match (which aired in another promotion). This is their big return show with FOUR title matches on one show and a gimmick match and it felt like they stumbled to the ground and then crawled over the finish line.

This company doesn’t seem to understand the basics and those major issues are making it very difficult to make any real progress. They built up Alberto vs. Drake and for whatever reason it’s taking place in a small arena in front of a lot of empty bleachers and we don’t even get to see the whole thing. That makes this company seem low level and makes the casual viewers go to another promotion. You need to knock something out of the park once in awhile but I don’t remember the last time they even hit a stand up triple. This was a watchable show but it should have been so much more, which is the case way too often.

Results

Taiji Ishimori b. Trevor Lee – 450 splash

Ethan Carter III b. Matt Sydal and Fallah Bahh via judges’ decision

Dan Lambert b. James Storm – Double beer bottle to the head

Chandler Park b. Jon Bolen – Rollup

Eli Drake b. Alberto El Patron – Title shot to the head

LAX b. OVE – Street Sweeper to Jake

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

I bet you didn’t see this one coming.

As you might have guessed, I’ve watched quite a bit of wrestling in my day. Over the years, you eventually get a pretty good idea of what to expect from a lot of wrestling shows. I mean, there’s only so much that can be done to surprise you when you’ve been around for a long time, which is what makes this such a hard category to pull off. There were actually a lot of options though and that’s always a lot of fun.

In no order, as usual.

We’ll start with one of the options that is going to get the most attention and for good reason: Tommaso Ciampa turns on Johnny Gargano. This one worked far better than I would have expected and I’d be shocked if their match doesn’t headline at least one Takeover in the coming year. My only issue is they kind of telegraphed it by having the match go on last and leaving the camera on the team for so long. It felt like they were teasing the going away segment but it went the other way. In other words it felt like they were going somewhere, which takes away a bit of the impact.

Given that this is being written as Wrestle Kingdom is taking place, it seems appropriate to put in Chris Jericho appearing in New Japan to challenge Kenny Omega. I know it might not be the best in-ring match but my goodness people: it’s CHRIS JERICHO in New Japan. There were rumors of a surprise at the show but I thought it was going to be a full show in America over Wrestlemania weekend or something. This was a heck of a deal and my eyebrows went up when I saw the announcement.

Everybody needs a Clarence P. Oddbody ASC (Look it up you heathens.) and Kevin Owens got one in the form of Sami Zayn. While Shane McMahon was on top of the Cell (again) for an elbow drop that missed (again), Zayn came out and saved his longtime rival and sometimes best friend in a heck of a heel turn. It might not have been the biggest surprise, but I’m not sure how many people actually thought they would go this way. It was quite the success though and that’s what matters most.

In another moment where I was actually in the house, we have the Hardys return. Now, I really don’t know how much doubt there was that the Hardys would wind up back in the company someday and that’s normal. Almost everyone winds up back in WWE at some point and the Hardys were on fire. The thing is, even with all that, as soon as New Day came out and said there was another team, I stood up and said out loud “They wouldn’t. There’s no way.” Then I couldn’t hear myself anymore because the fans were going so cookaloo. This was a great moment and I could easily see this getting the vote.

Back in May, Jinder Mahal won the WWE World Title. It was shocking, it was something people never saw coming, and it was Jinder Mahal winning the WWE World Title. This deserves no awards so we’ll move on to the winner.

Like I said, it takes a lot to surprise me. There’s very little that hasn’t been done in wrestling but in this case, WWE actually pulled it off. Back in February, Chris Jericho promised to show his best friend Kevin Owens what he really meant to him. Jericho set up the most over the top display of friendship in wrestling history, though it didn’t quite go as well as he had hoped. At the end, Owens, looking a bit annoyed, said he had a present for Jericho. Chris opened the box and found a new list! With his name on it! Jericho dropped the box and the back of the list said “The List Of KO”. A huge beatdown ensued and the team was done.

They got me with this one and that’s quite the feat. Jericho sold the heck out of the thing and it was the absolute perfect way to split the team up. The List of Jericho had been one of the coolest ideas I had seen in a long time and tying the split all back into that concept was the perfect way to do this whole thing. It’s hard to get this right but I bought into it all the way so well done indeed.

Kind of a perfect way to get started no?

It’s that time of year again and this time around, I’m going to make sure to get these up in a much, much more realistic amount of time. Hopefully it’s going to be one a day for twenty one days but I’ll throw in a bonus this time around (which might be more often if I can remember to do them. There are a few new categories this year and we’re starting with one of those today.

Entrances really are one of the more important things in wrestling. Whether it’s Hulk Hogan firing the crowd up or Undertaker just being creepy and chilling, you need someone to come out looking awesome to really sell what’s going on. That’s what we’re looking at today, though in this case it’s going to be looking at individual entrances instead of general ones.

These are in no order.

First up is one I was there for in person for: Aleister Black rising from the shadows at Takeover: Orlando. Keep in mind that this was his debut and tell me how it could have been any cooler. The guy literally rises from the blackness and is instantly ready to go. You knew it was something cool and you knew it was something that was in the vein of the Undertaker, which is as awesome as it gets.

Next up is something a little more glorious with Bobby Roode at Takeover: San Antonio. This was straight out of the Ric Rude playbook as Roode made his full entrance but came out with eight good looking women because he’s just that big of a star. Roode was great at making himself look bigger than anyone else on the roster and that’s what this entrance did. You really could pick any of Roode’s entrances from the year and the song alone is more than enough to carry him as high as he needed to go.

Speaking of that song, we’ll move on to the person it was originally intended for. It was no secret that Shinsuke Nakamura was getting the call up to the main roster after Wrestlemania, but the question was where would he go from there. That question was answered on the April 4 Smackdown when he made his main roster debut by interrupting Miz and Maryse as John Cena and Nikki Bella. I mean, counting Maryse as Nikki (just….dang that look worked for her) and then cutting to the violinist to play Nakamura’s theme and this was completely awesome.

I’m going to break my own rule a bit here and pick a more general entrance (kind of). Sami Zayn turned heel earlier this year and that opened up a bunch of questions. Was he going to be able to pull off a heel character? Would the fans cheer him anyway? Where can I get one of those snappy hats? It turns out that he can rock the heel run and that was never more evident than his dancing around Kevin Owens during the entrances, looking like the biggest jerk of a heel in years. I’m digging the heel character and the dancing entrance is probably the top reason.

That leaves us with the winner, which is one I never would have guessed. I’m going with Naomi at Wrestlemania XXXIII just for the pure spectacle of it all. I’m not a big Naomi fan (and her winning the title still isn’t a big deal, just like her winning the title back in her hometown) but that entrance is something else. Putting it in a massive stadium in front of 75,000 people was one of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had at a wrestling show and it more than does the trick. I wasn’t expecting to pick this but the more I thought about it, the more blown away I really was.

Royal Rumble 1993
Date: January 24, 1993
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

Historical note: this is 13 days after the debut of Monday Night Raw.

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Scott avoids an elbow drop but Blake breaks up the hot tag again. The crowd is silent when the Beverlies are on offense. Scott comes back with a butterfly powerbomb to put Blake down and Scott actually dives through the ropes and tags at the same time. Rick cleans house and there are Steiner Lines for both Beverlies. Scott pounds on Blake in the corner and counters a Doomsday Device with a victory roll for two. The Frankensteiner to Beau gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here as the Steiners were clearly going to dominate the entire time. The Beverlies never got above lower midcard status and their biggest feud was against the Bushwhackers. What were you going to expect them to do against the freaking STEINER BROTHERS? Nothing here but a squash.

Intercontinental Title: Marty Jannetty vs. Shawn Michaels

Jannetty controls to start, sending Shawn to the floor twice with a knee lift and a clothesline. Marty punches Shawn down on the floor and poses in the ring. He tries a punch off the top but gets caught in the ribs on the way down. Shawn loads Marty up on his shoulder and in one of the only times I can ever remember it working, rams Marty shoulder first into the post.

Sherri finally does something by slapping Shawn, who gets belly to back suplexed into the ring. Shawn gets launched to the floor again as the pace picks up a bit. A powerslam puts the champ down but Shawn avoids the top rope punch. Marty stops himself before crashing and gets two off a DDT. Shawn misses a superkick and gets caught by one of his own for two. The crowd is getting into this.

Marty slingshots Shawn so he gets to do his big bump onto the post. There goes the referee via an elbow to the face and Sherri comes in. She swings her shoe but hits Marty by mistake of course. Shawn yells at her a lot and then superkicks Marty in the chest for the pin to retain.

In the back, Gene yells at Sherri to calm down. Marty comes to the back for some more brawling.

Heenan and Gorilla argue a bit.

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

We get a clip from WWF Mania (Saturday morning show) of Razor beating up Owen to hype the world title match.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Here are Caesar and Cleopatra to hype up Wrestlemania. They read a proclamation about it and this is really stupid.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

Ratings Comparison

Steiner Brothers vs. Beverly Brothers

Original: C-

Redo: D+

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Original: C

Redo: C+

Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Big Boss Man

Original: D+

Redo: D

Bret Hart vs. Razor Ramon

Original: B

Redo: B

Royal Rumble

Original: D+

Redo: D

Overall Rating

Original: D

Redo: D+

Not much change here.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/12/royal-rumble-count-up-1993/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Royal Rumble 1992
Date: January 19, 1992
Location: Knickerbocker Arena, Albany, New York
Attendance: 17,000
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Bobby Heenan

We start with the usual listing of most of the people in the Rumble, all of whom are #1 contenders I suppose.

Orient Express vs. New Foundation

We get a clip from the house show where Mountie won the IC Title from Bret. Post match he kept beating on Bret but Roddy Piper came out for the save.

Jimmy and Mountie brag about winning the title. Mountie is ready for Piper tonight.

Piper is ready for Mountie and tells Mountie to just try to take his manhood.

Intercontinental Title: Roddy Piper vs. The Mountie

Piper slowly removes his kilt and Mountie cracks jokes. When the champ turns his head, Piper shoves the kilt in his face and takes over quickly. We head to the floor with Mountie quickly reeling. Back in the ring and Mountie chokes a bit before getting punched in the face. A very delayed bulldog puts Mountie down and Piper easily wins a slugout. He misses a dropkick though and Mountie puts on a half nelson. A jumping back elbow gets two for Mountie as does a sunset flip for Piper. Piper atomic drops him to the apron but Mountie skins the cat. He also collides with Jimmy Hart and the sleeper gives Piper the title.

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

This is more about the managers (Genius and Jamison respectively) more than the teams. Jamison chews on his tie as the Whackers do their arm thing to the audience. The Whackers lick each other and Jamison pulls out a roll for a snack. One of the Beverlies slaps Butch in the head so the Beverlies get chased to the floor. We FINALLY get started with Blake vs. Luke with the blonde (the Beverlies) in control.

Jamison kicks Genius in the shin post match in another moment that gets no reaction.

Tag Titles: Legion of Doom vs. Natural Disasters

The Disasters and Hart yell in the back a lot.

Roddy Piper is all fired up about winning the title and dedicates the win to his son Colt. He wants the world title now.

We get a clip from the Barber Shop incident where Shawn turned heel, igniting his singles push in the greatest team split ever.

Time for the interviews from people in the Rumble: Savage, Sid, Repo Man, Bulldog, Roberts, Flair (with Perfect talking with him too. You know, because Flair needs someone to talk for him), Undertaker (Bearer talks for him a bit too) and Hogan.

Royal Rumble

The Boss Man is #13 and he punches everyone in sight. Valentine is out and Shawn starts his goofy selling. Boss Man throws out Repo Man, giving us a current grouping of Von Erich, Michaels, Boss Man, Haku, Santana, Smith and Flair. Flair backdrops Smith out and does the same to Von Erich in just a few seconds. Hercules is #14 as Santana and Shawn eliminate each other.

Savage dumps Mustafa and gets chokes by Taker for his efforts. Hogan is #26 (does he EVER get a bad number?) and he goes right for Taker and Flair. Heenan starts bargaining with God as Martel is sent through the ropes to the floor. Hogan clotheslines Taker out and dumps Berzerker as well. Duggan and Virgil put each other out as the ring clears up a lot. Skinner is #27, giving us Skinner, Hogan, Flair, Piper, Savage, Martel and IRS.

Hogan puts Flair on the apron as Heenan wants another drink. A clothesline puts Flair down again and Sgt. Slaughter is #28. Someone dumps Skinner as Flair officially gets the Rumble record. Sure why not. Sid Justice is #29 and he goes for IRS. Flair pounds on Hogan before shifting over to Sid. Flair pulls Sid to the mat but Sid nips up and clotheslines him down. Warlord is #30, giving us a final grouping of Martel, Piper, Hogan, Flair, Savage, Sid, Slaughter, IRS and Warlord.

Sid and Hogan have a shoving match post match, setting up their match at Wrestlemania.

Ratings Comparison

New Foundation vs. Orient Express

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Roddy Piper vs. Mountie

Original: B

Redo: D

Beverly Brothers vs. Bushwhackers

Original: F-

Redo: T (For The Worst Match In Rumble History)

Natural Disasters vs. Legion of Doom

Original: D

Redo: D

Royal Rumble

Original: A+

Redo: A

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: B

Other than Piper, this is almost the same set of ratings.

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/01/11/royal-rumble-count-up-1992/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Also known as Squire Dave Taylor Needed A Hype Man.

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-tea-crumpets-bagels-baked-commentary-goods/

Monday Night Raw
Date: August 4, 2003
Location: PNE Coliseum, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Commentators: Jonathan Coachman, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on Summerslam and as luck would have it, there’s a fresh McMahon to dominate the show! Last week Shane made his big return to stand up for his mother after Kane attacked her the previous week. This was of course the only logical choice instead of Kane’s former partner Rob Van Dam, who was already attacked by Kane a few weeks back. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Kane’s rampage last week, which was capped off by Shane’s return.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Shane to open things up. Shane is here to finish what he started with Kane because he wants to know how big and bad Kane is. As long as he’s able to walk, he’s going to be wherever Kane goes. Cue Eric Bischoff to say he’s appalled by what happened to Linda two weeks ago. Bischoff hates Kane as much as Shane does and he’d love to see Shane get some revenge. He teases Shane vs. Kane tonight and Shane is more than ready but Eric says not so fast.

That’s not what Vince wants though. Instead he wants Kane vs. Rob Van Dam at Summerslam. Shane can’t wait to see Van Dam give Kane a beating at Summerslam but he wants Kane tonight. On the other hand, Shane has to leave right now. Shane rips into Bischoff and says he won’t be leaving tonight, unless Eric wants to make him.

This brings out Austin who tells Shane to get out of the ring because Bischoff is a black belt. Austin brings up Bischoff saying he loved Linda McMahon and makes Bischoff vs. Shane in a no holds barred match for tonight. Bischoff says no way because he can’t face a WWE Superstar. Shane points out that he doesn’t have a contract though and the match is on. Eric panics but smiles and brings up the no holds barred part. Lawler: “THIS IS LIKE A DREAM MATCH!”

On what planet is this a dream match? And on what show should making Shane vs. Bischoff take SEVENTEEN MINUTES? I know this show doesn’t like to actually have wrestling on it a lot of the time but egads just do this in like five minutes or even in a backstage segment. Or better yet, HAVE ACTUAL WRESTLERS IN YOUR MATCH INSTEAD OF THESE TWO!

Rene Dupree vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Lawler is still raving about how awesome Shane vs. Bischoff is going to be. I know Vince vs. Bischoff would be a dream match but have Shane and Eric ever even spoken on TV before? Dupree dances to start so Bubba sends him into the corner for the loud overhead chop. D-Von gets on the apron for some reason, allowing a quick double team behind the stupid referee’s back.

A neckbreaker gets Bubba out of trouble and a running clothesline gets two. Bubba even goes aerial for a middle rope crossbody but walks into a spinebuster for two more. Rene brings in the French flag but Sylvan comes in, only to clothesline his partner by mistake. That’s not a DQ either, so D-Von hits Rene in the head with the flag pole. The Bubba Bomb is good for the pin on a busted open Dupree. Not long enough to rate but my goodness how much overbooking do you need in a two and a half minute match? How much is there going to be in an actually important (work with me here) Tag Team Title match?

Evolution is in the back and HHH has a badly pulled groin. A panicked Bischoff comes in and has a proposition for HHH.

Video on the Australia tour. Seems to have been some good crowds, which isn’t the most surprising thing in the world.

Scott Steiner vs. Randy Orton

This really isn’t a good idea for a rookie like Orton (or a veteran like HHH actually). Stacy’s outfit is a bit of a better idea but that kind of goes without saying. No Flair with Orton as he has to worry about Goldberg. Before the match, Orton says he can feel the tension in this arena tonight. Orton, and I quote: “It seems that more people came to see Randy Orton’s nipples than Stacy Keibler’s.” Steiner will have none of that besmirchment (such a great word) and stomps away in the corner. He’s so mad that he lets Orton clothesline him twice before a dropkick takes him down. So he’s strong against shoulders but weak against feet.

The fans chant for Stacy as Steiner grabs a spinning belly to belly to put Orton on the floor. An accidental Stacy distraction lets Orton hammer away, only to charge into something like a powerslam for two. Some double ax handles to the chest (more people should use that) set up the push up elbow as Steiner goes through his regular routine. Cue Test for the most obvious finish ever, setting up the RKO to give Orton the pin.

Rating: D. Steiner is still a name and this is the best thing that he can do at this point. I mean, the Test feud is killing him but a clean pin for Orton helps him out well enough. What does it say that though that he was nearly unstoppable back in January and now he’s losing in about four minutes while feuding with Test? That’s some all time levels of falling down the card and yet it’s still not all that surprising.

HHH tells a nervous Bischoff that they have a deal, much to Eric’s relief.

Rosey, in street clothes, tells Hurricane that he’s ready to be a superhero. Christian comes in to brag about taking Booker out in Australia and promises to beat Hurricane tonight. Rosey pulls out a box labeled S.H.I.T. Hurricane: “HOLY S***!” Apparently Rosey made it himself.

Bischoff has recruited Rodney Mack of all people to help him with Shane but Austin comes up. Mack leaves so Bischoff can brag about having Evolution in his corner (What difference does it make if it’s anything goes?) in exchange for Goldberg vs. HHH at Summerslam being No DQ. Austin: “I think it sucks.” So Steve Austin thinks the main event of Summerslam sucks. Good to know.

Hurricane vs. Christian

The fans are behind their countryman, even as Hurricane elbows him down. A trip to the floor has Christian in more trouble and the high crossbody gets two. Christian slips out of the chokeslam though and a rollup with a handful of tights is good for the pin. Just there for the sake of setting up something after the match.

Post match Christian keeps up the beating until Rosey, now in the Superhero in Training garb makes the save. You can imagine the chant. Rosey poses in front of Hurricane, who taps him on the shoulder so they can change places. Not quite Shawn and Diesel but it works.

Kane arrives in the police van. As questionable as this is, having Kane in the role is probably better than anyone else as he can at least look intimidating.

Ric Flair vs. Goldberg

HHH is on commentary again. Goldberg shoves shoves Flair around to start and drops him with a shoulder….as we go over to a shot of HHH talking about his groin. Goldberg’s press slam is loudly booed (as Goldberg wasn’t exactly popular in Canada ever, which was made even worse when he kicked Bret Hart’s head off) and an awkward looking toss (with almost no height) doesn’t make things any better.

A shot to the knee slows Goldberg down as HHH asks Coach if he’ll massage the bad groin. HHH: “It’s the best offer you’ve ever had”. Back up and Flair’s shot to the face have no effect so Goldberg hits a good looking backdrops. Flair pokes him in the eye but gets slammed off the top, only to have Orton come in with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: D. This was basically a Goldberg squash until the ending and the ending is fine. It makes sense for Evolution to take as much out of Goldberg as they could before Summerslam. Goldberg in the ring in Canada just wasn’t a good idea, though to be fair I’m not sure how much time they would have to know that just yet. Storyline advancement here though and I can go with Orton getting to put Goldberg down with the chair shot.

Post match the beatdown is on but Shawn, then Jericho, then Nash come in for the respective saves. Cue Austin to make the Summerslam main event into an Elimination Chamber between HHH, Goldberg, Jericho, Nash, Shawn and Orton. Everyone is stunned and Goldberg spears Flair down. If Austin doesn’t think it, I certainly will: that sounds like it’s going to suck, mainly because HHH is hurt, Nash is Nash and Orton is WAY too young to be in this spot.

Post break everyone is still in the ring as Terri interviews Slamball (I remember that being awesome, though I was a stupid teenager) founder Pat Croche about the season two premiere. Jericho and Nash get in a fight with Nash easily getting the better of it.

HHH wants everything changed but Bischoff says that technically, this is out of his hands. Then technically, Bischoff is on his own tonight. Why not go get Rodney Mack back? Or just buy some other heel? Or find the person Shane is feuding with to advance their story? Would that be against Vince’s will either?

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending and starts fast with a snap suplex for two. A northern lights suplex (back bridge, according to Coach) gets the same as the fans want puppies. Odds are they mean the Canadian puppies, because Heaven forbid anyone find Molly attractive (even though she’s rather pretty at this point with the short brown hair). A headscissors out of the corner gets Trish out of trouble and the Matrish sends Molly flying out to the floor. Trish hammers away on the floor but here’s Victoria for the quick DQ. Yeah make sure to beat down those Canadians.

Gail Kim runs in for the save but turns on Trish anyway. Then the point for the save was…..? Writers trying to be smarter than they really are perhaps?

Shane attacks the police van because he has no respect for government property.

Lance Storm needs help being boring and asks Goldust for help. This is not going to end well, but hopefully it ends soon.

Bischoff sends the cops off after Austin but uses the distraction to unlock the van.

Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho

Rob starts fast with a dropkick and monkey flip, only to miss a dive off the top, sending him into the barricade. Back in and Jericho drops some elbows as the announcers talk about the Elimination Chamber. A knee to the ribs cuts Rob down for two more and Jericho elbows him in the head. This isn’t exactly thrilling stuff and the announcers talking about ANYTHING else isn’t helping things.

Rob manages to suplex him over the ropes onto the floor but can’t follow up. Back in and a dropkick drops Van Dam, only to have him come back with a springboard kick to the face. A jumping enziguri continues the battle of kicks to the head and gives Jericho two more. Rob’s stepover kick to the face looks to set up Rolling Thunder but Jericho rolls away just in time.

The Lionsault misses as well but Rob misses a Five Star splash (there was nothing froggy about it). They botch a hurricanrana with Jericho trying a quick Walls, only to have Rob next to the ropes. He’s right back up with another kick to the face and the split legged moonsault to put Jericho away.

Rating: D. Where do you even start? The botches? The REALLY dull first half? The announcers not caring? Giving Van Dam a pin over a World Title contender before he gets squashed by Kane at the pay per view? They had an interesting idea here with both guys mirroring each others’ moves (the kicks, the missed flip attacks) but the execution was much, much worse than you would have expected from these two.

Post match Jericho says there’s a conspiracy against him so he wants Nash in a hair vs. hair match. This would have made a lot more sense after the earlier segment between the two and without the clean loss to Van Dam in between but this show has far bigger problems to get around.

Bischoff is smiling.

Kane is out of his van. Coach: “Is this why Bischoff is smiling???” And people think JR misses the obvious sometimes?

Eric Bischoff vs. Shane McMahon

Anything goes and Bischoff comes out carrying a kick pad for a karate demonstration. After that waste of time, we’re ready to go with both guys in street clothes. Actually hang on again because Shane has to dance. Bischoff kicks him down three times in a row without much effort but gets speared down for the famous Shane punches. Cue Kane for the brawl in the aisle with Shane getting the better of it because he’s a better fighter than Rob Van Dam or STEVE AUSTIN you see. Kane fights back and kicks Shane in the face, followed by a Tombstone on the steps to give Bischoff the pin.

Rating: F. Somehow this was an official match and somehow it was long enough to rate because of course it was. I’m really not sure why we’re not getting Shane vs. Kane at the pay per view because that’s clearly what makes sense here. I mean, I know you can’t just have Kane take Van Dam out again or something (or just have Van Dam not come back yet) because that’s just too complicated. Not a match of course but that’s best for everyone.

Lawler acts like Bischoff just won the World Title because this was a dream match remember. Bischoff celebrates forever (including getting two more three counts) to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. This was awful with nothing really good all night long. Between putting WAY too much emphasis on Shane vs. Eric, the completely illogical mess of the Van Dam/Kane/Shane stuff and the rather dumb changes to the main event (I know HHH was injured but I’m thinking he was healthy enough to take a spear and Jackhammer, then have the real match when he’s back to full strength), I have no idea what they think they accomplished here. Absolutely awful and one of the worst they’ve done in several months.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: January 3, 2018
Hosts: Kayla Braxton, Mike Rome

It’s the first show of the year but as a special, we’re looking at the Best Of 2017 in a double length episode. These are always fun to look at as there’s nearly a guarantee that you’ve forgotten at least something that you’ll see tonight. There’s been a lot of good throughout the year for NXT so let’s get to it.

As usual, even if the versions presented on the broadcast are clipped, I’ll be posting the full review of each match.

Opening sequence.

We look at Bobby Roode defeating Shinsuke Nakamura for the NXT Title in January.

We look at the rematch from Takeover: Orlando with the full entrances, albeit with some different camera angles during the entrances. Roode retained and Nakamura got the big sendoff.

Video on Shinsuke Nakamura’s NXT career from William Regal announcing his debut all the way to his farewell in April.

Video on Drew McIntyre coming to NXT.

From Takeover: San Antonio.

Tag Team Titles: DIY vs. Authors of Pain

We look at Drew McIntyre winning the NXT Title at Takeover: Brooklyn. Again it’s just a few minutes of highlights from a long match. Post match, the yet to be named Undisputed Era ran in and attacked McIntyre.

Video on the Undisputed Era, focusing on Adam Cole.

We look at the Undisputed Era stealing the Tag Team Titles two weeks ago.

Here are some of the tag teams to watch in 2018: the Undisputed Era, the Street Profits, Tino Sabbatelli and Riddick Moss, Heavy Machinery and TM61 (returning from injury in two weeks).

Video on Aleister Black vs. Velveteen Dream. I underrated the heck out of that match.

From Takeover: WarGames.

Aleister Black vs. Velveteen Dream

Black does his still awesome rising up entrance. Dream debuts some custom made tights with himself on one leg and Black on the other ala Rick Rude back in the day. The fans are rather pleased with Dream, even as he slaps Black in the face. They hit the mat to start with Black working on an armbar before grabbing something like an Octopus hold. Dream slips out and actually tries to turn it into a striking match, earning himself a trip to the floor.

That allows Black to backflip into his sitting pose, right in front of Dream. A hip swivel doesn’t seem to get on Black’s nerves, but he does look away a bit. Dream sits down as well as the fans chant SAY HIS NAME. Black crawls forward like Dream did a few weeks back, freaking Dream out for a change. Dream actually snaps his throat across the ropes to send Black outside, meaning it’s time for more posing.

Back in and Dream gets two off a good looking superkick before we hit a reverse chinlock (Dream: “SAY IT! SAY IT!”). Black gets tied up in the ropes as the fans really want him to say it. Dream slaps him though and that’s just not a good idea. Black speeds things up with some strikes and a springboard moonsault press for two (SWEET, according to the annoying fans).

A quick Death Valley Driver gives Dream two so he tries a super version, only to get kicked down. Black knees him in the face for a close two, only to get caught in a Sister Abigail into a DDT for a delayed two. The Purple Rainmaker lands on a raised boot though, sending Dream into the ropes. Black kicks him in the face but walks into a superkick. That’s enough for Black though and it’s Black Mass for the pin at 14:41.

Rating: B+. Who knew Dream had that in him? This was all about the mind games at first but at the end of the day, you (mostly) knew it was going to be Black Mass wrapping this up. Black seems ready to become a huge deal around here and Dream….I’m not sure where he goes from here actually. Really good match though.

Post match Black takes the mic and says “enjoy infamy….Velveteen Dream.” I’m not sure what to make of that. Sign of respect maybe?

Video on the build to Andrade Cien Almas vs. Drew McIntyre.

From November 17, the night before Takeover: WarGames.

NXT Title: Drew McIntyre vs. Adam Cole

Date: November 17, 2017

Location: Aztec Theater, San Antonio, Texas

Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Percy Watson, Nigel McGuinness

Drew is defending, Cole has Bobby Fish and Kyle O’Reilly with him and Shawn Michaels is guest referee. McIntyre takes him down with almost no effort and Cole seems to need a fresh plan. Cole gets tossed off a headlock and bails to the floor as the stalling begins. Back in and a jawbreaker staggers Drew, allowing Fish to grab his foot. Fish and O’Reilly get on the apron so Shawn ejects them both.

That earns a SWEET CHIN MUSIC chant as reality sets in for Cole. One heck of a backdrop puts Cole down (well up and then down) and a poke to the eye has no effect on Drew. Shawn calls Drew off of Cole in the corner and McIntyre isn’t exactly happy. Cole takes the knee out though and it’s time for a break. Back with Cole getting powerbombed down and a super Celtic Cross getting two.

Cole is right back by kicking the knee out and hitting a Shining Wizard for two of his own. Sweet Chin Music (well you knew that was coming) is loaded up but Drew drops Cole with the Futureshock. Back up and Cole superkicks Shawn by mistake, meaning the Claymore gets a very delayed two. Cue Fish and O’Reilly to stomp Drew down for a bit but the comeback bumps Shawn again. Shawn is up fast enough to superkick O’Reilly and it’s a swinging Futureshock (cool) into the Claymore to retain the title at 15:12.

Rating: B. This was almost more about Shawn than anything else and that’s just fine. Shawn was a special attraction in this one and really, he’s more interesting than a house show title match. I’m sure Cole is going to be back in the title hunt eventually (around Brooklyn against Gargano would be a nice choice) and Drew should be on the main roster once he gets back from injury. There’s nothing left for him to do in NXT and his size is way too much for the rest of the roster.

Quick look at Almas winning the title the next night, during which Drew suffered a bad arm injury.

Almas is ready to face Johnny Gargano, who he insulted after Gargano won the title shot last week.

We look back at Asuka’s NXT career from her debut to vacating the title.

Package on the women’s division, including looks at the Iconic Duo, Lacey Evans, Kairi Sane, Bianca Belair, Vanessa Bourne, Shayna Baszler and Nikki Cross.

Last week, Sane made it clear that she wants the title but got choked out by Baszler.

Baszler debuts next week.

Video on WarGames, which really was the carnage that it should have been. I know it wasn’t quite the match that a lot of people were expecting but it was still a heck of a performance with some rather memorable spots. Let the WWE have its own version rather than a watered down version of the WCW style, which wouldn’t work today anyway.

We look back at the injured Tommaso Ciampa explaining why he turned on Gargano at Takeover: Chicago. DIY was supposed to have a moment but Ciampa hurt his knee during a match. Fans started talking about Johnny wrestling on his own and that’s not what Ciampa wanted, hence the betrayal. However, during the ladder match, Ciampa tore his ACL in the match and would be out for the rest of the year.

Video on last week’s fatal four way with Gargano becoming #1 contender, earning a shot at Takeover: Philadelphia.

Also set for Philadelphia: Adam Cole vs. Aleister Black. I’m not sure Black wins that one and that makes things more interesting.

Gargano talks about his rough 2017, which started at such a high but then came crashing down around him, including the DIY split and all the losses that followed. He always knew he could do it though and 2018 is going to be the best year of his life. It makes sense to give Gargano this kind of focus as there’s no doubt that he’s going to be one of the top stars in NXT in 2018, likely holding the title at some point. He had a rocky 2017 but the performances were always there.

Here are the categories for NXT’s End of the Year Awards

Takeover of the Year

Match of the Year

Tag Team of the Year

Breakout Star of the Year

Male Competitor of the Year

Female Competitor of the Year

Future Star of NXT

Rivalry of the Year

Overall Competitor of the Year

We get a long profile on Ember Moon, which started with her growing up in Texas watching wrestling with her grandfather. She went to train with Booker T. but got shot down in her first WWE tryout. WWE told her she didn’t have the Diva look (read as: she’s not a blonde model more than likely) but Norman Smiley say something in her. She stuck with Booker’s Reality of Wrestling promotion and developed a following, eventually earning herself a job after a second tryout.

Moon debuted with her crazy entrance and the Eclipse and was off to the races. Eventually she lost to Asuka though and it crippled some of her confidence, only to win the vacant title a few months later. Moon talks about knowing she can do it and being ready for anything to end the show. I remember watching an episode of the Reality of Wrestling show and thinking she was the standout star of the show. It turned out that she had already been signed by the time I saw it so maybe I have an eye for talent.

Overall Rating: B-. Normally I never know what to do for a Best Of show but this actually had some effort put in, which is a nice touch. They covered a lot here and I can appreciate the extra time being spent on something like this instead of just throwing a bunch of matches out there to fill in time. They even managed to add in extra stuff for next week and hype the Takeover because that’s what NXT knows how to do.

The exclusive match was fun and made the show feel special, but I really liked the profile on Moon. We really don’t know much about her and if there’s one thing WWE knows how to nail, it’s introducing you to a character and making them feel important. That’s what I got out of Moon and that’s what WWE needed to do more than anything else with her. Good show here, and the new year should be off to a hot start.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: January 2, 2018
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips

It’s a new year on the blue show and that means it’s time to get ready for the Royal Rumble. There are a handful of names already announced and there’s a good chance that we’re going to get more of those set up tonight. At the same time, AJ Styles needs an opponent and will be having his second non-title match tonight, this week against Sami Zayn. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s ending with Zayn costing Styles a win over Kevin Owens.

Opening sequence.

Here’s AJ to get things going by wishing us a happy new year. AJ talks about how it’s a new year and a lot of people are making new year’s resolutions, including people wanting to win the Royal Rumble. He has his own resolutions though, like taking this title to Wrestlemania and walking out as champion. His other resolution is to beat Sami Zayn tonight, but AJ wants to know if Kevin will be in Sami’s corner tonight.

This brings out Daniel Bryan but Shane McMahon is out before anything can be said. Shane and Bryan both get some nice chants from the crowd before Shane says there are people accusing him of taking sides in these stories. It seems to Shane though that Bryan is the one with a genuine kinship with both Sami and Kevin. Shane is going to be at ringside and if that’s the case, Bryan thinks Kevin should be out here as well. If those two are going to be out here, Bryan might as well be too!

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

Benjamin and Gable are defending. Before the match, the Usos say they’ve got this place on lock because Benjamin and Gable are in the Uso Penitentiary. Jimmy has to fight out of the corner early but Shelton runs the corner to superplex him down. Gable immediately follows with a moonsault for two and we take an early break.

Back with Jimmy enziguring Gable (clearly didn’t make contact) and a double tag bringing in Jey and Benjamin. Everything breaks down and we hit the dives, only to have Jey get taken back inside for the powerbomb/top rope clothesline for the pin and the titles at 5:33. Hang on a second actually as the other Uso pleads his case, saying Gable pinned the wrong one. Another referee comes out to confirm things and a replay (which confirms that the legal Uso had wrist tape but the one pinned didn’t have tape) means we get a restart.

Back with the Usos starting a brawl before the bell, followed by a Samoan drop to Shelton. The running Umaga Attack misses though and the second powerbomb is loaded up. This time Jey ducks and Chad dives into a superkick. Shelton takes one as well, followed by the Superfly Splash to retain the titles at 13:30 (from opening bell to closing bell).

Rating: C. Kind of a mess with the middle but at least they did get the call right and had some proof in the form of the wrist tape. That being said, it’s never really mattered a lot of the time and suddenly it does here because the script calls for it, which is one of the biggest crutches WWE has to use these days. The Usos are on the roll of a lifetime at this point and outside of the Bludgeon Brothers, I have no idea who is supposed to take the titles from them. It’s not like they have any real competition at this point and I don’t see that changing in the near future.

Renee Young asks Owens and Zayn if tonight is going to be different. Owens talks about having a different breakfast yesterday and being in a different city this week. Tonight though, the outcome is the same: AJ loses. They talk about this being the Sami and Kevin Show (which Sami calls the Seven Show by mistake, though it’s not a bad name) before saying tonight, they prove its their show. These two are still great and you can pretty much guess what’s coming for the Rumble but at least we’re getting some outstandingly heelish promos from these two. Sami adding YEP after anything Owens says is great too.

Bludgeon Brothers vs. Breezango

Rematch from last week where Breezango got destroyed until Ascension came in for the save. Breezango gets jumped before the bell and the beating is on in a hurry. Ascension comes out as well and takes a beating of their own. Again, the lesson learned here: stop putting effort into angles and segments because WWE is going to grind you into dust no matter what you do. No match.

A blindfolded Xavier Woods is swinging a kendo stick in the back when Kofi and Big E. come in. They have a surprise for him, which he can’t guess at first….until he guesses perfectly. Big E: “You can see through that mask can’t you?”. Woods: “I did have Lasik a few years back.”. Woods goes to blow out the candles but Aiden English and Rusev cut him off. English wishes that every single day was RUSEV DAY.

Mojo Rawley is going to beat Zack Ryder in their tournament match next week. Probably so, though Mojo is no Rusev.

US Title Tournament First Round: Xavier Woods vs. Aiden English

Before the match, Rusev sings about how great of a champion English is going to be. English jumps him from behind but gets sent to the floor for a superkick. Back in and English hits him with an elbow, followed by a singing chinlock. Woods fights up and hits something like a torture rack into a Lumbar Check. English takes him up and tries what looks like a super piledriver, only to get backdropped down. The top rope elbow sends Woods on at 5:49.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here but Woods winning is an interesting choice. Unfortunately it looks like he’s going to lose to Jinder Mahal in the second round, which isn’t the biggest surprise. Also, Rusev isn’t going anywhere in the tournament at all because, much like the Fashion Files, WWE doesn’t seem interested in someone who gets over against their schedule.

Post match Kofi throws a pancake and apparently hits one of the commentators in the head.

The Welcoming Committee (which apparently is still a thing that you’re supposed to remember) is ready to take care of the Riott Squad tonight.

Karl Malone (former WCW main eventer) is here. No mention is made of his wrestling career.

Natalya/Carmella/Tamina vs. Riott Squad

Morgan nips out of Natalya’s headlock to start and has to bail from the threat of a Sharpshooter. Back from a break with Carmella fighting out of Logan’s chinlock and bringing Tamina in for a hard clothesline. Riott breaks up the Superfly Splash though and Logan cartwheels into a knee to the back of the head for the pin at 5:29. Not enough shown to rate but this was just a quick win for the Squad. I can appreciate them trying to build the team up before the Rumble but it’s not like any of these three have a chance at winning.

Post match Riott says everyone here believes in magic (local basketball team name) but everyone here is really miserable. Logan and Morgan are officially in the Rumble. Cue Charlotte to say there’s a woman who wants to teach the Squad a lesson. This brings out Naomi, followed by the returning Becky Lynch to clean house.

We run down the Rumble card.

Baron Corbin says he’s entering the Rumble and going to Wrestlemania. He’s right. It’s just probably going to be in the battle royal.

AJ Styles vs. Sami Zayn

Non-title. Shane, Owens and Bryan are at ringside. Sami takes AJ down early to start and gets two off a backdrop. A dropkick gets two more and we take an early break. Back with Sami holding a chinlock to keep AJ grounded. AJ fights back up, only to get his throat snapped across the top rope. Sami gets caught on top but punches his way to freedom, followed by the Blue Thunder Bomb for the same near fall that the move always gets.

Styles is right back up and grabs the Calf Crusher, only to have Sami make it to the ropes in fairly long order. The Phenomenal Forearm doesn’t work but the referee gets knocked to the floor. As expected, AJ grabs a rollup for two as the referee dives in after being held up by Owens. Shane shoves Kevin down and Owens is ejected, followed by Bryan saying Shane should go with him. The distraction lets Sami hit the Helluva Kick for the pin at 13:44.

Rating: C+. I don’t think the ending was any kind of a surprise and that’s all well and good. What worries me is the battle of the bosses, as I could easily see this turning into some kind of a mess where the wrestlers are overshadowed for the sake of a story that a lot of people aren’t interested in seeing. The wrestlers are talented so just let them do their thing. We don’t need to see Shane get this kind of focus and it’s been going on for MONTHS now.

Post match AJ tells Owens and Zayn to stop acting like children. He’s tired of everyone else getting involved so let’s just make it a handicap match for the title at the Rumble. A smiling Bryan makes the match to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. I let out a heavy sign on that ending. Unless that Bryan stuff is a red herring (and I have a feeling it is), they’re actually pushing the idea of Bryan as the heel in this whole mess. I don’t need the focus on Bryan vs. Shane when there is so much talent in the title scene at the moment already. Why we need to sit through those two getting all the attention is beyond me, but it does make me wonder how much WWE cares about the effort those wrestlers are putting in.

As for the rest of the show….eh. Like really, just eh. It’s a show that existed with some watchable matches but everything is kind of on hold while we wait on the big pay per view. The lack of Orton and Nakamura (Where were they anyway?) was odd tonight and left us with more time to focus on the younger guys, which doesn’t always mean the best results. Like I said, what is the point in people like Rusev and Breezango getting over if they’re just going to be used as either cannon fodder or background noise?

Results

Usos b. Chad Gable/Shelton Benjamin – Superfly Splash to Benjamin

Xavier Woods b. Aiden English – Top rope elbow

Riott Squad b. Natalya/Carmella/Tamina – Cartwheel knee to Tamina’s head

Sami Zayn b. AJ Styles – Helluva Kick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 2018
Location: American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Booker T.

It’s a new year (yes it is) and that probably doesn’t mean much. We’ll be getting ready for the Royal Rumble in less than a month and tonight that includes an appearance by Brock Lesnar. Other than that we have Roman Reigns defending the Intercontinental Title against Samoa Joe and Cedric Alexander challenging Enzo Amore for the Cruiserweight Title. Let’s get to it.

Alexa Bliss goes to see Kurt Angle in the back because she’s not happy with having to face Asuka tonight. Angle basically says get over it.

Here’s Angle for a chat. Angle talks about how great 2017 was and promises 2018 will be even better. In a few weeks we’ll be having the 25^th Anniversary of Raw and then the Royal Rumble. John Cena entered the men’s Royal Rumble earlier today and that brings us to the women’s Royal Rumble. The same rules will apply for the men: thirty entrants with the winner getting a title shot at Wrestlemania.

Cue the Bar to complain about Angle giving Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins a title shot last week and then celebrating with the new champions after the show. They won’t stand for this favoritism. The Bar wants their rematch tonight but Angle says it’s when he chooses. Cue Jordan to say he and Seth earned the titles last week but Cesaro isn’t convinced. Angle makes a match for right now but here’s Rollins to interrupt as well. Rollins thinks Jordan is going a bit too fast but Seth will be in his corner….to watch Jason lose.

I know this was supposed to be Rollins and Ambrose again but Rollins and Jordan aren’t working so far. They’re a very forced together team and Rollins acting like Jordan has no idea how to be a tag wrestler is quite the stretch. Jordan going full heel would help, but it seems that they’ve shifted gears into him just proving himself as a talent, which he doesn’t need to do.

Jason Jordan vs. Cesaro

Joined in progress with Cesaro in control and grabbing a chinlock. Back up and Cesaro’s dive is pulled out of the air, allowing Jordan to drive him into the corner over and over. Sheamus offers a distraction though and Cesaro takes the knee out. Cesaro cranks on the knee in a variety of ways before Jordan manages to send him outside. That just earns him another shot to the knee, followed by a knee crusher onto the apron.

We take a break and come back with Cesaro baseball sliding Jordan out to the floor again. Cesaro grabs a half crab (that’s a back hold but whatever) but Jordan fights up and grabs some suplexes. Both guys are down again and Sheamus knocks Jordan into a rollup, followed by another half crab. Seth goes after Sheamus though, allowing Jordan to grab the wheelbarrow neckbreaker for the pin at 15:13.

Rating: C. A lot of that made my head hurt as Jordan’s leg was worked over for the majority of the match, including two holds (again, didn’t work on the leg but they were trying) but then he’s throwing suplexes and the wheelbarrow neckbreaker. What’s the point in doing something like that if Jordan just does his stuff anyway? It’s a common problem and again, it seems that they’re postponing the heel turn for the moment, which isn’t good for anyone.

Roman Reigns promises to stay in the rules tonight because if he gets disqualified he loses the title. If that had actually lead to a title change via DQ more than maybe twice ever, that declaration might actually mean something.

Sasha Banks says she’ll win the Royal Rumble.

Bray Wyatt vs. Apollo Crews

Bray takes him into the corner without much effort but has to punch his way out of a headlock. An enziguri into a slingshot hilo doesn’t do Crews much good as Bray runs him over with a headbutt to the chest. Crews kicks him down again but gets crotched on top. Bray glares down at Dana Brooke and we take a break.

Back with Bray holding a chinlock until Crews fights up for a running kick to the face. Crews looks for the Toss Powerbomb but gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline. Dana gets on the apron and gets scared off onto Titus, allowing Crews to hit the jumping enziguri. The Toss Powerbomb is easily reversed into Sister Abigail though and Crews is done at 10:23.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? Like seriously, what was that? Crews is someone who should be losing in about two minutes, not stretching it through a commercial. This is a good example of why Bray is in the place he’s in: despite being presented as a monster, he doesn’t wrestle like a monster. Instead he comes off like someone who is dealt with by speaking to him with a firm voice. I like Crews a lot but he should have been flattened here.

Post match Matt Hardy pops up on screen to say he’s all around Bray and intends to delete him. The screen turns into hundreds of small screens featuring Matt’s face and Bray looks disturbed. I would be too if it took me that long to beat Apollo Crews.

Nia Jax is trying to leave because Enzo Amore is in the hospital with the flu. Alexa cuts her off and says she needs her at ringside. Bliss says it’s Enzo or her and Nia leaves. Sweet goodness you mean Enzo is STILL going to be champion next week? Well of course, because there’s no way they’ll put the title match on 205 Live.

Ad for the Mixed Match Challenge, which I believe is the first time it’s been mentioned on the main show. That being said, HAHAHAHAHA if they actually think people are staying until 11:30 for the end of 205 Live after that show is over.

Alexa Bliss vs. Asuka

Non-title. This was set up last week when Asuka kicked Bliss in the head. An early spinning backfist misses so Asuka goes with a front facelock instead. Bliss has to bail from a kneebar but the hip attack puts her on the floor. Back in and Bliss gets kicked down as this is one sided so far. Bliss bails to the floor again and we take a break.

Back with Bliss holding Asuka in a bodyscissors, only to be reversed into an ankle lock. Bliss makes a rope and kicks her in the ribs again, followed by some forearms to the back. A backbreaker lets Bliss hammer away with right hands and it’s back to the bodyscissors. That’s switched into a guillotine choke before Bliss stomps away in the corner.

A running slap just ticks Asuka off though (Well what were you expecting?) and it’s some dropkicks to put Bliss in trouble again. There’s a running hip attack and a hard knee to the face but Bliss comes out of the corner with a sunset flip. Asuka counters that into a cradle for two, followed by the cross armbreaker to make Bliss tap at 14:35.

Rating: B. Bliss hung in there but this wasn’t exactly a shocking result. Asuka is going to win the title one day and they’re going to treat it as a big moment. Normally this would set up a title match at the Rumble but we can’t do that when Asuka is already in the Rumble itself. There are some options here and that’s what you want going into a major match like that.

We look back at Roman Reigns attacking Samoa Joe last week and causing a DQ in their title match.

Joe is ready for Reigns because he’s already broken up the Shield. It’s because of Joe that Dean Ambrose is a stay at home husband living off his wife’s (who happens to be doing this interview) paycheck. Renee’s face off that line was great and as usual, Joe comes off as the most serious person not named Brock Lesnar in this company.

Bayley enters the Rumble.

Braun Strowman vs. Rhyno

The announcer introduces Slater as the opponent. Well they do both have meaty thighs. Strowman drops him with an early shoulder and goes outside to grab a mic. Braun tells Strowman to either stay on the floor and be quiet or take a beating. Slater comes in and the double teaming actually works for a good five seconds. The running powerslam ends Rhyno at 2:31.

Post match, multiple powerslams ensue. Yeah he’s great. Now have him be the odd man out when Lesnar pins Kane so we can move on.

Rollins comes up to Reigns in the back and Roman says he’s keeping his cool. Jordan comes in and says they’ll take the Bar out tonight. Jordan: “Believe that.” Seth and Roman share a funny look. Ok point for a good scene.

Strowman runs into Kane, who just wants to talk about Lesnar. Kane says they’re the alpha monsters and since NO ONE HAS EVER TALKED LIKE THIS IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, Kane wants to team up, Strowman says no. Can no one in this company speak like a human?

Finn Balor comes in to Angle’s office and enters the Royal Rumble. Angle is pleased but wants to know who Balor has for partners tonight in a six man tag. Cue Anderson and Gallows with Balor asking who else it would be.

Intercontinental Title: Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns

Reigns is defending and loses the title if he’s disqualified. Joe pops him with the right hands to start but Reigns comes back with some forearms to the back. The referee breaks up some shots to the face in the corner because the rules say he needs to be all serious here when no referee would ever do something like this otherwise. A suplex puts Reigns on the floor and we take a break.

Back with Joe running him over with an elbow for two. Reigns grabs a suplex though, only to miss a charge and go shoulder first into the post. Joe works on the arm but Roman is back up with a clothesline. That just earns him a charge to take him down again as the pace stays slow (in a good way). A hard whip sends Reigns into the corner and Joe takes him down to the mat to crank on the arm some more.

Reigns fights up again and hits a running clothesline, followed by the standing clotheslines in the corner. The running apron dropkick gives Reigns two but hang on a second as the referee has to warn for a DQ. Joe sends him outside though and there’s the suicide elbow for a double knockdown.

They’re both back in at nine and we take a second break. Back again with Reigns getting headbutted down but yelling at Joe to hit him harder. Reigns gets two off a Samoan drop and Joe bails to the floor. Roman dives into a shot to the chest and gets sent into the steps but thankfully Joe rolls back inside to break the count. A whip into the steps is reversed but of course that’s not enough for the DQ.

Joe gets in a shot to the face, only to eat a Superman punch off the steps. Back in and another Superman punch gets two with the kickout stunning Reigns. The spear is blocked and Joe sends Reigns into the referee, who of course is talked out of the DQ. Another Superman punch is countered into the spinning Rock Bottom for two more and now Joe is yelling at the referee. The Clutch goes on but Reigns spins out of it and hits the spear to retain at 24:53.

Rating: B+. The DQ stuff was kind of annoying but they were beating the heck out of each other for a LONG time here and it made for a good match. I mean, you knew the most likely ending was spear into Reigns winning but at least Joe got in a very solid match before losing via clean pin. It’s going to be almost all Reigns until we get to the Superdome because THIS TIME FOR SURE but that’s how WWE works anymore.

Paul Heyman comes in to see Angle and basically says Lesnar is awesome. Thanks for coming in for that one Paulie.

Absolution is entering the Rumble. These entrances aren’t exactly surprising when there are all of twenty or so women on the main roster.

Drew Gulak and Ariya Daivari are in the ring with Drew reading Enzo’s promo off a letter Enzo wrote for them. Enzo isn’t defending the title tonight due to the flu and would love to face Cedric, who interrupts in short order. The villains are willing to have a tag match but Cedric doesn’t have a partner. Cue Goldust of all people to ask if Cedric wants to be friends. Goldust: “Cedric, want to be friends?”. See that’s what he said.

Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari vs. Cedric Alexander/Goldust

Daivari takes Cedric down into a chinlock to start but gets elbowed in the face for his efforts. That’s enough for a pretty early double tag to Goldust and Gulak as the pace quickens. They botch Goldust’s running bulldog (Gulak seemed to trip and Goldust made a quick save by punching him in the head so it was nothing too bad) but the second attempt works just fine. Goldust actually goes up top and hits a pretty good looking twisting crossbody. Cedric’s springboard double clothesline takes both guys down and it’s the Lumbar Check to end Gulak at 3:26.

Finn Balor/Anderson and Gallows vs. Elias/Miztourage

Before the match, Elias has the Miztourage come out of the shadows with a cowbell (Bo) and some bells (Axel). Miz is back next week so they dedicate a little Auld Lang Syne to his honor. This goes as well as you would expect and even Elias cuts them off. Joined in progress after a break with Axel getting two on Balor before it’s off to Elias for some boots in the corner. Balor gets over to the corner for a hot tag to Gallows though and house is cleaned in the form of some kicks to the head. A splash crushes Dallas and the Magic Killer into the Coup de Grace puts him away at 3:24.

Rating: D. Just a squash here but I’m thinking the Miztourage should just stick with Elias. They have some chemistry there and it’s not like it matters who their boss is. Miz doesn’t really need lackeys (though they don’t hurt him) and it would give Elias a nice little rub, which he could use with his current status.

Video on Miz’s return next week.

Here are Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman to close things out. Paul thinks the company’s New Year’s Resolution is to stack the deck against Lesnar by throwing multiple challengers at the same time. It used to be challenger and now it’s CHALLENGERS because there’s no other way to stop Brock. That makes things more complicated because Brock can lose the title without getting pinned, which is the only way it could happen.

Heyman mocks the announcers talking about the odds but says Brock is always 100%. If it’s one on one, no one is beating Brock. You could even throw all thirty Royal Rumble entrants against him and it would be the same slaughter. They go to leave but here’s Kane (with Brock pausing due to a delay in Kane’s music hitting) to chokeslam Brock but Lesnar sits up like Undertaker. A Cactus Clothesline puts them on the floor but some of the locker room comes out for the break up. No Braun as Brock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The Intercontinental Title match is more than enough to carry the show but the rest felt like it was being extended to fill in time. Unless Enzo was getting something like twenty minutes (I’d be STUNNED), then it felt like they were trying to punt because of the college football but didn’t know how to do it. The show was more good than bad as the focus is firmly on the Rumble and that’s good for everyone. Now build up some potential winners for both matches and we should be fine.

Results

Jason Jordan b. Cesaro – Wheelbarrow neckbreaker

Bray Wyatt b. Apollo Crews – Sister Abigail

Asuka b. Alexa Bliss – Cross armbreaker

Braun Strowman b. Rhyno – Running powerslam

Roman Reigns b. Samoa Joe – Spear

Cedric Alexander/Goldust b. Drew Gulak/Ariya Daivari – Lumbar Check to Gulak

Finn Balor/Anderson and Gallows b. Elias/Miztourage – Coup de Grace to Dallas

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume VI: July – December 1999 in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/11/22/new-book-kbs-monday-nitro-and-thunder-reviews-volume-vi/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6