Hell in a Cell 2017
Date: October 8, 2017
Location: Little Caesars Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

It’s time for the Shane McMahon Does Something Stupid Show. The main event tonight is Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens inside the show’s namesake structure as Shane fights to defend his family’s honor. Other than that we have the Usos challenging the New Day for the Tag Team Titles inside the Cell too. Let’s get to it.

On the Kickoff Show, Tye Dillinger mentions to Daniel Bryan that he beat Baron Corbin on Smackdown but Corbin is getting a US Title shot tonight. Therefore, Tye should be added to the match. Bryan agrees and we get a YES/TEN exchange with both guys doing the other’s thing.

Kickoff Show: Hype Bros vs. Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable

Shelton works on Mojo’s arm to start before it’s off to Gable, who eats a crossbody. Ryder and Benjamin come in with Shelton scoring with a spinebuster and the Bros heading to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ryder still in trouble as Benjamin and Gable take turns suplexing him. Shelton’s superplex is broken up and it’s a missile dropkick to Benjamin. The hot tag brings in Mojo for shoulders and a tilt-a-whirl slam to Gable. A clothesline takes Mojo down and Gable has to try a moonsault, only to land on his feet when Mojo moves.

Instead he belly to bellys Rawley and hits the second attempt at a moonsault for two. Ryder gets knocked off the apron as Mojo starts….uh….hyping up. The Hype Ryder is broken up (which Ryder seems to blame on Mojo) and Paydirt gives Shelton two on Ryder with Mojo making the save. The powerbomb/top rope clothesline combination puts Ryder away at 10:22.

Rating: C. Just a tag match here that you could have seen on any given Smackdown. That’s the kind of Kickoff match you want though as the fans were into the Hype Bros, even if it seems that they’re splitting. You know, because this division is so deep that they can split teams up right now.

The opening video looks at the power and devastation of the Cell itself before looking at most of the matches tonight. Standard but it still works.

Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Usos

The Usos are challenging inside the Cell. Before the Usos come out, New Day talks about how it’s going to be a prison break tonight when they break the Usos apart. It’s Kofi as the odd man out and they don’t even bother waiting around before finding the weapons. Two kendo sticks (rainbow colored for Xavier), a chair and a chain are brought in with New Day getting the better of it and Big E. dropping Woods (and the chain) onto Jimmy’s face for an early two.

Big E. is sent into the Cell though and Jey dives over the top to take Woods down. Back up though and Big E. spears Jey into the Cell for a heck of a crash. Woods breaks Francesca II over Jey’s back but Big E. pulls out Francesca III for the same result. And now, a cowbell is brought in with Woods hitting Jey in the ribs. If that’s not enough music for your taste, it’s time for a gong (Mortal Kombat reference) but Jimmy throws a chair at Woods’ head. Big E. gets superkicked down and it’s time for the kendo stick beating.

The running Umaga Attack drives Woods up against the Cell but Big E. is back up with a Rock Bottom off the apron into a Backstabber from Woods on the floor. Woods grabs about six kendo sticks and pins Jey up in the corner, sliding the sticks through the Cell like prison bars. It doesn’t last long but it’s a heck of a creative spot. Jimmy throws Big E. onto his shoulders for a spear through the ropes from Jey, driving Big E. into the Cell again.

Back in and the double Superfly Splashes get two and the Usos are frustrated. They bust out some handcuffs and cuff Woods around the post for some stick shots to the ribs ala Orton vs. Cena at Breaking Point back in 2009. They unload on Woods with about twenty shots in a row before letting him off the corner. That’s rather dumb no?

Big E. is back up though and cleans house, including driving Jimmy into the Cell so hard that the whole thing moves. He does it again, driving Jimmy into Jey this time around. The Big Ending gets two on Jey but Jimmy is back in with a pair of superkicks. A double superkick sets up the double Superfly Splash but Woods somehow dives in for the save. The still handcuffed Woods gets all fired up and shrugs off the kendo stick shots but they finally beat him down. With a chair put over Woods, the double Superfly Splash at 21:56.

Rating: A. The referee saying “three” when Woods was being destroyed on the post and the match ending three minutes later aside, this was a GREAT match for two main reasons. First of all, the stuff they did felt fresh. There were a ton of fun spots in here that you haven’t seen before and that’s much better than the repetitive stuff that happens so often in these matches.

Second, and more important, it felt like they wanted to hurt each other. So often the Cell matches are just big matches that don’t have anything resembling violence or carnage, which makes for some bad performances. This was a heck of a brawl and one of the better Cell matches ever. If they just have to keep feuding though, give us a few weeks/months off. Let Breezango get another shot or Benjamin/Gable or someone. Just give us a breather.

AJ Styles isn’t worried about the match being made a triple threat (with Tye Dillinger being added) and quotes a little Tom Petty in a nice touch.

Quick recap of Rusev vs. Randy Orton, which is their third match after the first two didn’t combine to last thirty seconds. Orton attacked Rusev when he was being given the key to his hometown to set up a third match.

Rusev vs. Randy Orton

An early RKO attempt sends Rusev bailing to the floor but he comes back in and fires off shoulders in the corner. Orton stomps away though and tries the hanging DDT but they head outside again. Rusev drives him into the barricade and grabs a chinlock back inside. A spinwheel kick gives Rusev two but he seems to be favoring his back.

Some big elbows are good for two but a missed charge sends Rusev face first into the post (CHECK HIS TEETH!). An RKO attempt doesn’t work so Orton settles for the snap powerslam for two instead. A fall away slam gives Rusev two more but the Accolade attempt sends Orton bailing to the floor. Back in and the hanging DDT connects but Rusev kicks him down again. The Accolade doesn’t work again though and it’s an RKO to put Rusev away at 11:43.

Rating: C+. Is there a point of having Rusev around? It’s clear that WWE isn’t going to give him anything resembling a push anytime soon (or for years to come probably) and I have no idea why they keep putting him in these spots. Oh but at the same time, we get Jinder Mahal being unfunny and uninteresting because of an India tour in December. Another eye roll inducing ending as Orton is the same with a win or a loss while Rusev takes a big hit.

US Title: Tye Dillinger vs. Baron Corbin vs. AJ Styles

Styles is defending and Dillinger was added to the match earlier tonight. Dillinger had tried to answer the US Open Challenge but Baron attacked him, setting up a mini feud between the two. Corbin was scheduled to be the challenger but Tye beat him on Smackdown, earning a spot in this match too. AJ and Tye stare Corbin out to the floor and look to go at each other, only to stomp Corbin down when he tries to sneak back in.

They send Corbin outside again and AJ rolls Tye up for two before scoring with with the drop down dropkick. Corbin punches Tye to the floor and avoids AJ’s dropkick to take over for the first time. A hard whip sends AJ ribs first into the post so Corbin chokes Dillinger in the corner. They head outside with Corbin whipping Tye into the barricade and then slugging him down.

Back in and AJ wins a slugout with Corbin (bit of a surprise) before scoring with the Phenomenal Blitz. Tye comes back in with a hot shot and backdrop to AJ, followed by that one knee Codebreaker for two. Back up and AJ slaps on the Calf Crusher but Corbin pulls Tye to the ropes for the break.

AJ dives over the top with a slingshot forearm but his second springboard is countered into a chokebreaker for a rather near fall. Tye comes back in and kicks both guys in the face until AJ Peles him onto Corbin for a heck of a false finish. The springboard 450 connects with Corbin but Tye makes the save. That just earns Tye a Phenomenal Forearm, only to have Corbin throw AJ out and steal the pin and the title at 19:30.

Rating: B-. Good match here though it went it a little longer than is needed to. Hopefully this sets up AJ in the World Title picture again (if Mahal retains tonight) as it’s the logical way to get us to that point. Tye being added was a good idea as it kept this from feeling like a dull title defense. It also opens the door for some challengers to the title, including one Sami Zayn somewhere in there.

We recap Charlotte vs. Natalya, which thankfully isn’t another Bret vs. Ric feud. Natalya is champion and Charlotte won a multi-woman match to get the shot.

Women’s Title: Natalya vs. Charlotte

Natalya is defending and this match gives her the record for most pay per view matches in women’s history. They trade early leg hold attempts but Natalya settles for some kicks to the leg to really take over. Charlotte uses the good leg to kick her away but still gets caught in a leglock.

That’s broken without too much effort and Charlotte uses the good leg for a big boot to the jaw. A powerbomb doesn’t work as the leg is too banged up so Charlotte tries a backslide for two instead. She’s still able to strut on one leg but tries a moonsault for some reason, allowing Natalya to hit her in the knee a few times. Natalya gets two off a sitout powerbomb but eats another big boot.

This time it’s with the bad knee though and Charlotte goes down, even needing to head outside. The leg is knocked into the steps and Charlotte is in big trouble. Back in and Natalya loads up the Sharpshooter, only to have Charlotte flip her into the buckles for the break. Natalya heads outside again so Charlotte moonsaults down onto her, banging up the knee again. Not that it matters as Natalya grabs a chair to hit Charlotte’s knee for the DQ at 12:18.

Rating: C. Good from a technical standpoint but I’m rather sick of seeing these two fight. Charlotte has beaten Natalya time after time and now we’re probably looking at a submission match next month where Charlotte finally wins the title. The matches are good but sweet goodness the promos to set them up are nightmares and we’re going to be sitting through them for weeks.

It’s Fashion Files time! Their bulletin board includes Cesaro as Tooth Fairy 3 and Raven as That’s So Raven. They’ve solved the 2B case and tease a flashback but wind up in the same place. Ascension, in bad disguises, come in with a delivery. It’s a tube, which Breeze thinks means 2B.

Inside the case is an Ascension poster with the message “we want 2B your friends”. Breeze says there’s no way it’s Ascension because they’re idiots. Ascension takes off the disguises and leave looking very sad. Breeze: “Those disguises were incredible!” There’s another knock at the door but it’s just a black briefcase. They open it up and the contents are glowing ala Pulp Fiction. It’s a new case, meaning Pulp Fashion begins on Tuesday.

We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal for the Smackdown World Title. Basically Mahal is overconfident and thinks Nakamura is funny looking so he made some semi-racist jokes at Nakamura’s expense. Nakamura also has to deal with the Singh Brothers to make things even worse.

Smackdown World Title: Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Jinder Mahal

Mahal is defending and grabs a wristlock to start. Nakamura takes him down without too much effort but can’t get a cross armbreaker. Back up and Nakamura says COME ON before the threat of the Kinshasa sends Mahal bailing to the floor. The champ sends him back first into the post and we hit a camel clutch back inside. A hard whip into the corner has Nakamura in more trouble and it’s off to a chinlock.

Nakamura fights up with a spinning kick to the head for a breather, followed by kicks to the chest. The running knee in the corner gets two and Nakamura adds a knee drop from the apron, only to bang up his own knee again. Back in and the Khallas is broken up, followed by a middle rope knee to Mahal’s chest.

Cue the Singh Brothers for a distraction but Nakamura grabs a rollup for two anyway. The referee finally ejects the Brothers and there’s Kinshasa to Mahal but he grabs the rope at two. Another Kinshasa hits knee though and it’s the Khallas to keep the title on Mahal (again) at 12:05.

Rating: C-. And yes, it continues. Ignoring how they had back to back matches focused on working the knee, this was your standard dull Mahal match with no heat and the fans rolling their eyes when he retains the title again. They’re more than willing to have Smackdown continue to sink for the sake of those India shows in December and if we don’t like it, get over it because nothing is changing. Boring match, but that’s all you can expect from Mahal.

Kevin Owens doesn’t want to hear about what he did to the McMahon Family because Shane has caused Owens’ family harm for the sake of feeding his bottomless ego. Tonight, Shane has to pay.

Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

It’s a battle over entrances. Ziggler cuts off his own entrance and comes out to silence and no video. A headlock slows Roode down to start until Roode snaps him throat first across the top to really take over. Some chops in the corner have Ziggler even further in control and we hit a chinlock to keep Roode down.

It’s off to a sleeper for a good while as this is one of the worst ways they could go about having Roode’s pay per view debut. Roode fights up and sends Ziggler shoulder first into the post for his first major offense. A swinging Rock Bottom gives Roode two but Ziggler’s jumping DDT is good for the same.

Just in case you thought this match could get interesting, Ziggler grabs the sleeper AGAIN. A bulldog (called a Fameasser) gets two on Roode but the superkick is countered into a spinebuster. The Glorious DDT is countered into a rollup to give Ziggler two and they trade rollups for a bunch of near falls until Roode grabs the tights (which Ziggler was doing every time) for the pin at 11:35.

Rating: F. Nope. Not the match quality but this was the definition of a failure. Roode looked like he got lucky to steal a cheating win and Ziggler dominated 90% of the match while killing the crowd in the process. This was as bad as it could have been and every single problem they had with Nakamura’s debut against Ziggler. Terrible match and it’s entirely on the layout and booking.

Ziggler immediately hits the Zig Zag on Roode to set up a rematch.

Long recap of Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens. Kevin claimed a conspiracy against him for months and attacked Vince after securing a match with Shane inside the Cell. Shane is fighting for his family and is basically holding up a big sign saying “I’m going to do something stupid.”

Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon

Inside the Cell and with falls count anywhere for reasons of Shane needs to do something outside. Owens steps into the Cell so the bell rings and Shane baseball slides him through the door. That means the bad punches make an early appearance and Shane follows up with a clothesline off the barricade.

Owens heads into the cage for safety so Shane kicks the door into his face. Back in and Shane gets knocked off the apron and into the Cell wall, allowing Owens to rub his face against the cage, right in front of Shane’s kids. Owens grabs the steps but gets kicked in the chest. That’s it for Shane’s offense at the moment though as Owens drops a backsplash for two. There’s the Cannonball for two as the crowd is just waiting for Shane to start doing something so they can care.

The Swanton Bomb hits Shane’s knees though and his legs are too banged up to do anything. Why is that something no one else can understand? Back up and Shane peppers him with some more punches, only to miss the shooting star press. Owens’ frog splash gets two but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a pretty messy looking triangle choke.

A powerbomb onto the steps gets Owens out of trouble and it’s table time. The table is leaned up against the table but Owens’ Cannonball off the apron misses Shane and sends him through the table for a crash. Shane hits him with a piece of the broken table and tosses a trashcan into the ring. Coast to Coast connects on Owens but his foot is on the rope, which completely defeats the point of falls count anywhere.

Shane cuts the door open with bolt cutters, allowing Owens to DDT Shane on the ramp with a thud. Owens puts him on the announcers’ table and climbs onto the barricade….before looking up at the Cell. He goes up, looks down at Shane….and can’t bring himself to do it. Instead Shane gets up and climbs to the top as well and it’s time for a slugout on the roof. Shane grabs a Russian legsweep and bangs his own head before slamming Owens on the steel.

There’s a suplex on the Cell to keep teasing the big spot. Owens takes him down for a change and drops a backsplash. The powerbomb is reversed into a backdrop but Owens gets the Pop Up Powerbomb, which still doesn’t break the Cell. Owens teases throwing him off the top but Shane punches his way out of dying.

Thankfully Owens starts climbing down and Shane follows him for some kicks to the back, followed by a ram to the cage to send Owens through the table. EMT’s come down to check on Owens but Shane picks him up and puts him on the second announcers’ table. Shane goes up but dives through the table as Sami Zayn popped up to pull Owens off the table. Sami throws the EMT’s away and puts Owens on top for the pin at 38:18.

Rating: C. I’m going with right in the middle as I got the drama here but I HATED the stunt show stuff. I’m scared of heights in the first place and I can’t stand this kind of stuff in place of having an actual match. Sami turning at the end is a good thing as he doesn’t have anything going for him at the moment and being Owens’ right hand man is the best thing he could do. We knew it was going to be the big stunt at the end and I’m glad Owens won, but sweet goodness it took too long to get there. I get the drama and all that but I really didn’t care for this for the most part, as is typically the case in the WAY too long Shane matches.

Overall Rating: B-. This is a hard one to grade as I loved the opener, couldn’t stand the Ziggler match and wanted to turn off the show during the main event for reasons that have little to do with the actual match. The show was better than I was expecting but the biggest problem was it showed how little star power Smackdown has. They need to boost some people and hopefully the main event starts us down that road. AJ vs. Mahal is the likely title program though Owens/Sami will be the top heel act going forward. This show leaves me cautiously optimistic, but I’ve been in that place before.

Results

Usos b. New Day – Double Superfly Splash to Woods

Randy Orton b. Rusev – RKO

Baron Corbin b. AJ Styles and Tye Dillinger – Phenomenal Forearm to Dillinger

Charlotte b. Natalya via DQ when Natalya used a chair

Jinder Mahal b. Shinsuke Nakamura – Khallas

Bobby Roode b. Dolph Ziggler – Rollup with a handful of tights

Kevin Owens b. Shane McMahon – Pin after Shane fell through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

It’s currently Saturday night and we’re about twenty four hours away from the start of “Hell in a Cell 2017”. I’ve known that I need to start getting this together but the more I think about doing it the less interested I am in the show. All week long and especially while I watched the last two episodes of “Smackdown Live”, my interest level in the show has gone downhill faster and faster. It’s entirely and completely a one match show and that one match hasn’t grabbed my attention. I’m not thrilled with this show but let’s get to it.

Kickoff Show: Shelton Benjamin/Chad Gable vs. Hype Bros

This is a match that was teased a few weeks ago on the YouTube channel and for once I’m fine with that being all the build the match receives. It’s not like this is a match that means anything but it’s a good choice for an opener. All four guys will get a solid reaction and it should be a perfectly acceptable ten minute match.

I’ll take Benjamin and Gable to win here as the Bros have been going through some issues as of late. You know, because the “Smackdown Live” tag team division is so deep that it can break up teams at the moment. Benjamin and Gable might not seem like an option with the longest lifespan but WWE might as well see what they have with them. Benjamin and Gable win without much trouble.

Women’s Title: Natalya(c) vs. Charlotte

How many times have we seen this match now? Be it down in NXT or up here on the main roster, it feels like a match that we’ve covered so many times now. At last they haven’t dragged Ric Flair and Bret Hart into it again, but that’s not exactly the highest level of praise. Natalya is doing fine but that doesn’t make her interesting as champion.

I’ll take Charlotte to win here as they need to get the title on either her or Becky Lynch as soon as possible. They’re the only two women on the show with the combination of charisma and in-ring abilities to make it work (though Naomi has come an incredibly long way towards that combination this year). It’s the right call and about as close to being overdue as you can get.

Randy Orton vs. Rusev

What does it mean when the big selling point of a match is they might go longer than five minutes this time around? These two have trades wins in a pair of matches that didn’t combine to go thirty seconds. Rusev needs the win a lot more than Orton but WWE has a really bad track record of just giving Orton wins that he doesn’t need, especially at the expense of someone who needs the support.

I’ll give WWE some hope and take Rusev for the win here, as he’s owed this one after being screwed over twice this year. Allegedly he was in line for the Jinder Mahal push (no word on if he would have won the title) and then he had to lose the match at “Summerslam 2017” for the sake of giving Orton another win to make up for the Mahal feud. Rusev needs this win and there’s no need for Orton to get another victory that won’t mean anything in the long run. Now if only WWE can realize how much sense that makes.

Bobby Roode vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is another one that should be a layup and this time around it feels like WWE knows what it’s doing. Ziggler has been mocking entrances for weeks now in a story that still isn’t clicking, though it’s been entertaining at times. Roode of course is known for his entrance and the match makes perfect sense as a result.

I’ll take Roode to win, though there’s something more important than the end result. Flash back with me to “Backlash 2017” where Ziggler faced Shinsuke Nakamura in Nakamura’s in-ring debut. Ziggler went even with him and Nakamura really didn’t blow anything away. While Roode is nowhere near as dominant as Nakamura, I’m worried about this being more of a showcase for Ziggler than Roode, who needs the push to get somewhere. Ziggler is little more than a gatekeeper to the big time and there’s no need to give him a majority of the offense. Both guys get stuff in but Roode wins in what should be dominant fashion.

Tag Team Titles: New Day(c) vs. Usos

Now this is the most interesting match on the card. These teams have been feuding for months now and barring a rather stupid move, this should be the final match of the whole thing. There’s no logical reason to have them go on no matter who wins, save for the eternally annoying contractually obligated rematch clause. Just let them end it in a huge match for a change and be done with it.

I’m going with New Day to retain here, though I don’t have a ton of confidence in the pick. WWE seems obsessed with trading the titles ass often as they can for the sake of building up the title reigns for the sake of building up the title reigns and giving the Usos their fifth reign is probably tempting. New Day doesn’t have a ton of options for opponents though, which gives me some caution. I’ll still say they keep the belts, though I’m probably going to be wrong.

Smackdown World Title: Jinder Mahal(c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Here’s the thing: Mahal has shocked the heck out of me as champion. He’s looking more and more like a main eventer every single week and as average as he seems most of the time, he’s so much better now than he was when he won the title and that’s quite the accomplishment. The problem though is very simple: no one cares. Like at all. Mahal is one of the least interesting characters you’ll ever see and people aren’t buying him as a top star.

Nakamura wins the title here, partially due to pure necessity. Mahal’s title reign has crippled the live crowds at “Smackdown Live” and there’s just nothing interesting about what he’s doing. They need to find someone at least more interesting (Nakamura might not be more interesting but he’s far less dull) in a hurry as the show can’t take Mahal on top for much longer.

US Title: AJ Styles(c) vs. Baron Corbin

First off, I’m not entirely convinced that Tye Dillinger won’t be added to this at the last minute to make it a three way dance. Assuming that doesn’t happen though, I don’t see much doubt in this one. Styles has been trying to do the whole US Open Challenge deal but he’s had all of two matches in the thing, which kind of defeats the purpose. Hopefully he can get back on track with it later.

As you might be able to tell, I’m taking Styles to retain here, even though Corbin needs the win more. The only way I could see Styles losing is to set him up as the next challenger for Mahal, though I have a feeling they would rather let Styles get back to the main event scene later. Styles is the better option here and even though Corbin needs to win something, Styles is a great US Champion and should hold the title a bit longer.

Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon

And now, the reason I care so little about this show. Make no mistake about it (and I don’t know how you could): this is the ONLY match WWE cares about on this show. The whole thing is built around “what is Shane going to do to Owens”, meaning the match is building to one or two spots. If Owens has to slow WAY down to let McMahon hang with him, so be it because this is all about McMahon doing something stupid. I need more than that to interest me in a show, but WWE doesn’t quite seem to agree.

In the pick that really, really needs to be right, I’m going with Owens to win. There’s just no need to have McMahon ever win a match again, despite him being one of the top faces on the show. McMahon can lose here and then come back in another few weeks without continuing the feud. Owens on the other hand can move up, challenge Nakamura for the title, defeat Sami Zayn at “Royal Rumble 2017” (assuming Zayn doesn’t cost McMahon the match, which has been hinted at for a few weeks now) and then face HHH at “Wrestlemania XXXIV” when HHH has to kill his own creation to defend the company and his family.

Overall Thoughts

On paper, only the two Cell matches need to be on pay per view. Other than that, everything on here feels like it could be on almost any given episode of “Smackdown Live”. Actually a lot of them have been on free TV in recent months and would Roode vs. Ziggler airing on TV be that much of a stretch? This show just doesn’t feel special and I don’t think there’s any real way around that problem. The wrestling might be just fine, though I don’t think it’s going to be anything I need to see.

Oh and as for Breezango: I think they find out who is behind it all (my guess is still the Authors of Pain) and they wrap it up in a bonus match on the pay per view.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: May 8, 2003
Location: Metro Centre, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada
Commentators: Tazz, Michael Cole

With the pay per view right around the corner, it might be nice if they set up a few more matches. There’s only a few things set up already and unfortunately we’re likely in for more of the Mr. America story dominating the show. Last week’s segment was fine, but I have a feeling it’s going to overstay its welcome in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the Mr. America story, which somehow seems to focus on Stephanie. Vince has vowed to take the mask off of America and prove it’s really Hogan.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Vince to get things going. He’s had a change of heart so tonight Hogan is going to be here tonight….via satellite from Tampa, Florida. That means Mr. America won’t be here because they’re clearly the same person. Even Canadians could figure something like this out. The YOU SCREWED Bret chants start up with Cole saying that means Bret Hart. Thanks Mikey. Vince: “You’re right I did and I’ll screw every one of you if you just give me the chance!”

This brings out Stephanie with Vince demanding to know why she signed Mr. America. She did it for the fans because she had heard about how big a star he was and all his experience. Vince wants to know why she did this, which Stephanie says was to counter Bischoff’s attempts to sign Mr. America, which is why he got the iron clad deal. The only way to break the contract is to prove that Mr. America is Hogan. That’s cool with Vince and he has Stephanie leave so he can interview Hogan from Tampa.

We go live via satellite to Hogan’s office, featuring a prominently displayed copy of his new book on the shelf, what appears to be a Divas swimsuit magazine on the table and…..a really big Home Depot catalog/book? Hogan says he wants to be back in front of the crowd because it’s killing him to not be out there.

He’d love to team up with Mr. America one day, even if there are some physical similarities between the two. Of course Hogan’s Pythons are bigger and he’s much better looking. Vince laughs it off and says we should see Mr. America right here in Nova Scotia. Hogan looks upset but quotes George Washington by saying he cannot tell a lie. There’s a chance that Mr. America will show up tonight, which is an idea that Vince loves.

I have SO many questions. Who in the world was telling Stephanie all this stuff about Mr. America without mentioning THAT IT WAS HULK HOGAN??? Who would have seen Mr. America wrestle in person and called Stephanie to tell her about him? Are we supposed to buy that Hogan was just off working independent promotions throughout his career under a mask?

Stephanie said she was told he had a lot of experience, which would suggest he’s been doing this for awhile. So some people who she apparently trusts called her and told her to sign this guy who Eric Bischoff was interested in as well but apparently either didn’t realize that it was Hogan or didn’t know/care about Vince banning Hogan from wrestling? Was Bischoff just going to sign Mr. America and hope Vince didn’t notice? Or did he have the same stupid sources too?

In theory this would have been a long term plan from Hogan but he was sent home on April 3 and the first vignette played on April 17. That would suggest that Mr. America was signed during that two week period as Stephanie couldn’t advertise him until he was signed. So he and Bischoff heard about Mr. American, got obsessed with signing him sight unseen, got into a bidding war to sign him, and then signed him in less than two weeks?

Back to the sources who hyped up Mr. America, did they sound like a San Francisco barber, a mouth from the south and a nasty sensation by any chance? Or did Hogan start doing this months ago on the off chance he lost at Wrestlemania? Oh and did Hogan sign the other contract “Mr. America”? And is he now getting two checks? There are so many questions I kind of need answered about this whole shindig. Unless this whole thing is Stephanie and Hogan being in cahoots with each other, this story really doesn’t make much sense.

Post break, Vince is told that Mr. America is here. So wait: did Mr. America pay off the production staff to lie and say they weren’t in Florida? Was the tape a fake? Did Hogan convince them all to fly back to Canada, set up a room to look like his office and then show up later? Why am I thinking about this more than I did in any class in college?

Matt Hardy vs. Eddie Guerrero

Back to back Side Effects set up a Ricochet for two on Eddie. The middle rope legdrop is broken up though and Eddie rolls some suplexes. Matt avoids the frog splash but can’t get the Twist of Fate. Instead it’s a middle rope legdrop to the back of the head for two. Matt tries another Side Effect, only to get rolled up (sweet) for the fast pin.

Rating: C. Matt was trying here, though I’m not sure what the point is in having a champion lose over and over. There are other heels you could have in this spot to protect the title but it’s not like there’s anyone around to challenge him for it at the moment. They could develop some more talent for the division but it’s not likely anytime soon.

Team Angle runs out and steals the gold medals back from Los Guerreros.

Big Show is with the FBI for some reason when some production guys carry a piece of equipment. As they walk by, a good sized guy in a blue mask can be seen.

Brian Kendrick vs. Jamie Noble

Brian is now officially Brian “Spanky” Kendrick. Before the match, Kendrick gets a CENA SUCKS chant going in honor of last week. Kendrick flips out of a wristlock to start and nips up into a kick to the chest. Sliced Bread #2 is broken up though and Kendrick is tossed outside where Nidia gets in a few kicks to the ribs.

Back in and a cravate doesn’t keep Kendrick in trouble for very long but a half crab has some more success. Kendrick fights up for a bit, only to get tossed into the corner for his efforts. An enziguri gives Kendrick two but he has to bail out of a moonsault. That’s fine as he lands on his feet and grabs Sliced Bread #2 for the pin.

Rating: C+. This didn’t have much time but they packed in some good stuff. As usual, these guys could be tearing the house down for the Cruiserweight Title but for some reason Matt is stuck as a midcard jobber. Let some of these guys have ten minutes somewhere and see what they can do, perhaps in a pay per view title match. Really, what could it hurt?

Cena is watching in the back when Mr. America comes up. John doesn’t believe his eyes.

We see the whole Big Show attacking Rey Mysterio scene from Backlash. Mysterio will be back next week.

Brock Lesnar is ready to team with Chris Benoit against A-Train and Big Show. As for the title match with Big Show, let’s make it a stretcher match. Do you know what that means? At Judgment Day, Big Show is leaving on a stretcher.

Vince is getting coffee when Funaki comes up to say Mr. America is here. The boss insists that he’s an impostor and makes Funaki make the coffee.

Here’s Mr. America as the first fifteen minutes of the show just wasn’t enough time. Vince and Stephanie are watching from a small office with what looks like the same furniture from Austin and Bischoff’s office last night. Even the plant is the same. Anyway, Vince insists that this is an impostor.

America finally starts talking and we cut to Vince’s panicked face. Back in the arena, America insists that he’s not Hulk Hogan. No, he’s actually a former 165lb accountant from Hoboken, New Jersey who bought Wrestlemania to see Hogan. There was something about Hogan that made him want to get in the gym and now he’s the physical specimen he is now. So he was 6’6 and 165lbs? That’s quite the odd visual.

Anyway here comes Vince to say that mask is coming off and Stephanie is going to come out here and make it happen. A quick distraction lets Vince get in a low blow but he can’t get the mask off. America shoves him away and right into Stephanie, who is knocked cold. The boss gets knocked to the floor and America carries Stephanie to the back. I’m guessing you can now add Stephanie to the list of people this story shouldn’t be about but will be anyway.

During the break, Stephanie was getting medical attention when Vince stormed in. She blames him for the injuries, of course. Vince freaks out and yells about Hogan.

Dawn Marie vs. Torrie Wilson

Sable is out to watch. They do a catfight for a bit until Torrie gets a sunset flip for the pin in less than a minute.

Post match Sable challenges Torrie to a bikini contest at the pay per view. Torrie unzips her gear to reveal a bra, which seems to be a yes. Considering Torrie is currently in Playboy and her entrance video is mainly her in bikinis, I’m not sure why someone is going to pay to see her in another swimsuit. The same is pretty much true of Sable but WWE doesn’t like to use common sense all the time.

Video on Kurt Angle.

Team Angle vs. Rikishi/Tajiri

Non-title. Rikishi knocks Charlie to the floor to start and sits on his chest for trying a sunset flip. He’s no Torrie Wilson. Tajiri comes in for a spinwheel kick to Shelton but Charlie offers a cheap shot to take over. A hard superkick drops Charlie though and the hot tag brings in Rikishi. Cole actually tries to convince us that Rikishi only weighs 350lbs, which might be the case if you cut off his upper half. Everything breaks down and Rikishi superkicks Haas and Tajiri adds the Tarantula. Shelton pulls Rikishi out though and it’s the superkick into the jackknife cover to put Tajiri away.

Rating: D+. The time issue strikes again as there’s only so much you can do with less than five minutes. Well that and with Rikishi in the match as he’s getting bigger and bigger every single week. I’m still not sure why Tajiri isn’t used in a more prominent role as he’s solid in the ring but stuck in jobbing roles like this one.

Los Guerreros run out and steal the picture of Angle and the gold medals.

John Cena vs. Rhyno

Kendrick is on commentary. Before the match, Cena promises to rip the nose off the rhinoceros and make him need a gynecologist. Rhyno hammers on him to start and kicks Cena in the side of the head to send Cena outside. Back in and Cena scores with a suplex before cranking on Rhyno’s arms. Rhyno slugs away but gets caught by the Throwback for two. Cena is back up in a hurry but walks into the spinebuster. Rhyno is down though so Cena goes for the chain. It’s Kendrick making the save though, allowing Rhyno to grab a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad little power match here and it advances the entertaining Kendrick vs. Cena feud. Rhyno was playing it mostly even with Cena so it didn’t even feel like the last second fluke win. Cena needs a good win to keep his momentum though as he lost to Lesnar and is in a much lower level feud with Kendrick. I’m sure he’ll be fine though.

Cena goes after Kendrick and avoids a Gore from Rhyno, who hits the steps instead.

The FBI is planning something.

Judgment Day rundown.

Lesnar is on his way to the ring when he runs into Nunzio, who wants more respect. Nunzio hits him and gets Brock to run into a room, which the FBI barricades with a forklift. So he’s kind of dumb too? Big Show and A-Train are rather pleased and Show says he’s going to face Benoit on his own. Is there a reason Lesnar isn’t banging on the door to try to get out?

Chris Benoit vs. Big Show

Show has a stretcher with Mysterio, Benoit and Lesnar’s names on it. Benoit gets right in his face and is promptly chopped back down. Some shots to Show’s leg and head are shrugged off and it’s a big side slam to put him down. There’s a delayed suplex as Cole says Andre the Giant vs. Killer Khan was in 1986 (1981 really). Benoit fights out of a bearhug and dropkicks the knee, setting up the Swan Dive. The Crossface is broken up as A-Train distracts Benoit with the stretcher. That’s enough to set up the chokeslam and give Show the pin.

Rating: D. This was just a step above a squash though at least they kept it quick. Show beating Benoit with some help is an acceptable enough of a way to build him up for Lesnar, though the stretcher thing is another lame gimmick that feels very tacked on. They’d be better with something like Last Man Standing or a street fight or something but we get this lame idea instead. Also was there really a need to announce the tag match for an hour and a half and then switch it to a singles match at the last minute?

Benoit gets beaten down until Lesnar makes the save, only to take a beating of his own to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The wrestling in the first half of the show saves it from being a failure but the overkill of Mr. America is already getting to be a lot. Aside from the litany of holes in the story’s logic, you can only assume that we’re heading towards America vs. Piper or McMahon (like O’Haire would get that spot). It’s probably going to be Piper and the thought of that makes my skin crawl. The story is fine for something simple that gets a few minutes a week but this was close to a quarter of the show. That’s too much for almost any story, especially one that doesn’t have a lot of depth like this one.

The rest of the show is up and down with some good matches that very little but not much in the storytelling department. Los Guerreros vs. Team Angle over Eddie and Chavo stealing stuff isn’t all that interesting and Sable vs. Torrie is what it is. That leaves you with Lesnar vs. Show, which isn’t doing much for the champ at all. Lesnar really needs a top opponent and Big Show just isn’t that person. Angle and Undertaker coming back will help things out but Lesnar has already beaten both of them. It might be, gulp, time to elevate someone for more than a month at a time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Main Event
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

We’re back to the point where you can pretty much guess what’s coming for a show like this. Odds are we’ll be seeing Dash Wilder losing again to go with a cruiserweight match, which isn’t the most interesting stuff in the world. As usual, it all comes down to which clips we get from Monday. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Dash Wilder vs. Heath Slater

Is this some kind of a joke that I’m not getting? Wilder has now faced Rhyno, then Slater, then Rhyno, then Slater again in four straight weeks. Dash throws a shirt at Slater to start but misses a charge out to the floor as we might be in for a bit of comedy here. Back in and Slater runs him over for two before grabbing a front facelock.

A belly to back suplex gets Dash out of trouble and he tosses Heath outside for a breather. Heath comes back in and eats a hard clothesline for his efforts before we hit the chinlock. Something like Wasteland into a backbreaker (cool) gets two on Slater but Dash charges into a rollup out of the corner for the pin at 5:33.

Rating: D+. The more I watch these matches, the more I think they’re just setting up the idea that Wilder isn’t much on his own but can be part of a really good tag team. Either that or they haven’t put a bit of thought into this and keep throwing Wilder out there because they have nothing better to do on this show and it doesn’t matter in the slightest anyway.

From Raw.

We look at Amore getting destroyed last week.

Here’s Enzo Amore to talk about the beating he took last week. He’s now put the cruiserweight division in the main event two weeks in a row and you’re absolutely right that he deserves it. Enzo talks about all the money he makes and all of his star power, but carrying the division has made his back hurt. He brings up the No Contact clause from last week and says there’s a new one tonight: if anyone attacks him, they’re fired. Now he’s on top of the throne but he doesn’t have any opponents.

Cue the cruiserweight division to surround Amore but he insults every single one of them in turn. This brings out Angle to say that none of the cruiserweights at ringside can lay a hand on him. HOWEVER, there’s a new member of the Cruiserweight division: Kalisto. The fight is on in a hurry with Kalisto easily beating the heck out of Enzo.

Also from Raw.

Seth Rollins vs. Braun Strowman

Rollins kicks at the ribs to start but has to slip out of a running powerslam attempt. For some reason Seth slaps him in the face, setting off a chase. A kick to Braun’s head connects but Braun launches him into the air for a big crash. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Seth fights up and sends him outside. A suicide dive is knocked out of the air though and we take a break.

Back with Rollins getting tossed via a fall away slam but sidestepping a charge. Now the suicide dives connect, only to have the springboard knee to the face get two. A great looking superkick drops Braun but the wind up knee is countered with a clothesline. The running powerslam ends Rollins at 10:27.

Rating: C. Not a bad little match here but there was no question about Strowman winning. Rollins is great for something like this though as he’s legitimate competition for Strowman and makes him look great even in defeat. It was a fun match and a good way to open the show, which is all you can ask for.

Strowman gives him another powerslam for fun. He goes back for more but Dean Ambrose runs out for a save attempt, only to get chokeslammed for his efforts. Another running powerslam leaves both champions laying. Strowman leaves and here are Sheamus and Cesaro to pick the bones.

Lince Dorado/Rich Swann vs. Tony Nese/Noam Dar

Dorado and Dar start things off with Noam begging off in the corner early on. He goes outside to fix his hair though and quickly tags off to Nese in what is probably a smart move. It’s already time to work on Tony’s arm with Lince and Rich taking turns. Stereo dropkicks drop Nese but Dar trips Lince to take over.

Back from a break with Dorado grabbing a sunset flip but there’s no referee to count. The handspring Stunner gets Dorado out of trouble though and the hot tag brings in Swann. A bunch of kicks have the villains in trouble and the spinning kick to the head sets up the Phoenix splash to end Dar at 8:15.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere when nearly half of it was spent in a break. The perk of the cruiserweights is you can throw them all out there in virtually any combination and have a watchable match. That’s very valuable and something WWE knows how to exploit. That being said, what has happened to Dar? He’s gone from a featured player in the division to nothing in just a few months.

And finally from Raw again.

Intercontinental Title: Roman Reigns vs. The Miz

Miz is defending and comes out ala the Shield with the Miztourage. Reigns wastes no time in bailing to the floor and beating the heck out of the Miztourage to make things even. Axel staggers through the crowd so Reigns follows him up for a chair to the back. Dallas gets one as well before Reigns just unloads on both of them with multiple chair shots. The bell rings after a break with Reigns headbutting the champ on the floor. Miz avoids a charge though and Reigns winds up in the crowd. That’s only good for a nine count but Miz catches him in a short DDT for two.

We hit the chinlock for a bit before Miz switches to just choking on the ropes. Back from a break with Miz hitting the YES Kicks but getting caught in a sitout powerbomb for a very near fall. The Superman Punch is countered into the Skull Crushing Finale for the same and Miz is stunned. The second Superman Punch connects for an even closer two and it’s Reigns’ turn to be shocked. Reigns loads up the spear but Sheamus and Cesaro pull him out for the DQ at 10:47.

Rating: B-. This was good while it lasted but the ending hurt it a lot. They’re not hiding what they’re going for in the post match stuff and while there’s nothing wrong with that, I could go for it not being so heavy handed. There were some awesome near falls in this one and it was really entertaining at times, but the time factor and the storyline stuff isn’t great.

Reigns gets destroyed post match. The fans chant for the Shield as Reigns takes a TripleBomb. Miz, Sheamus and Cesaro do the Shield pose. That would be a heck of a lot better than Miz and the Miztourage.

Later in the show.

A banged up Reigns is in the back when Ambrose comes in. They stare at each other a bit until Rollins comes in as well. Ambrose leaves with Rollins going the opposite way. Reigns thinks things over to end the show. No one ever said or did anything more than look at the others.

Overall Rating: C. They packed in all the big stuff from Raw here and that’s a nice feeling. The original content here is really getting repetitive though and they need to change things up a bit, just for the sake of not being so dull. It’s ok to not have Wilder lose for a single week or just throw in a tag match. Not a bad show here but skip the original stuff.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

The idea of a wrestling dynasty is one deeply ingrained into the WWE’s most ardent fans. Undeniably, dynasties such as the Hart Foundation, and the generations of Guerreros, Flairs and Anoa’is, have made professional wrestling the sports entertainment phenomenon it is today.

Admittedly, the likes of Kurt Angle and Dolph Ziggler are living evidence of the sort of advantage that only a pre-WWE wrestling background can provide. However, a lot of WWE legends past and present did not have the luxury of a wrestling origin. While many fans are already aware of the history behind such wrestlers, the way they have utilized their skills to improve the profile of the WWE.

The Undertaker – Basketball

A WWE Hall of Fame entrant, Mark William Callaway always wanted to be a basketball player growing up. A man of learning, the giant who would eventually become known as The Undertaker studied sports management at Texas Wesleyan University in Fort Worth, and represented the college Basketball side in the 1985/86 season. Save for an attire-based gimmick, there is nothing particularly concrete that can translate from the basketball court to the ring. Nonetheless, it is clear that The Undertaker, who played as a towering center for the Rams, had the taste for (appropriately) being the center of attention whenever possible.

The impact on WWE: His gloomy, death-themed, yet no less dramatic entrances were a great foil to the rowdier ones of his Golden Era counterparts, such as Hulk Hogan. In time, his differential persona would prove crucial to the WWE’s success.

Mark Henry – Weightlifting

WWE’s ‘World’s Strongest Man’, Mark Henry was an established name in powerlifting/weightlifting before he joined WWE. He was placed tenth overall in the super-heavyweight division at the 1992 Olympics. He then went on to win gold, silver and bronze in the 1995 Pan-Am Games. Despite being beset by injuries at various points in his career, Henry has had a 20-plus-year tenure with the WWE, having initially been signed on a $10 million ten-year deal. Despite now nearing the end of his days in active competition, the Texan stands among the favorites at +15000 to win the 2018 Royal Rumble, and could prove a prudent selection for a risk-free bet.

The impact on WWE: Although a character built on brute power and strength was always going to be his obvious WWE persona, his prowess within the federation undoubtedly inspired others that were all power at the cost of acrobatic athleticism.

Batista – Pro bodybuilding

Batista is well-known as one of the youngest superstars to rise to stardom in the WWE. However, before he became a successful WWE superstar, Batista had a difficult life. He was born in a relatively poor family and raised in poverty. To make ends meet, he initially worked as a bouncer before switching to a career in bodybuilding. He is notable for once stating that bodybuilding changed his life for the better, and to say it paid dividends would be an extreme understatement. A winner of WWE silverware, his debut came during the early days of the Raw Aggression era, and (as the name of the era suggests) Batista was able to translate his real-world experiences into the squared circle.

The impact on WWE: Though the expansion of the roster and allocations to Raw and Smackdown were always inevitable events, Batista’s arrival illustrated the importance of ensuring that both brands had a fair share of fiery all-rounders that could evolve the good work of the Attitude Era in a constructive way.

Ring of Honor
Date: October 4, 2017
Location: Center Stage, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Ian Riccaboni, BJ Whitmer

It’s World Title week here as Frankie Kazarian is getting a shot at Cody after winning last week’s Honor Rumble. That’s quite the turnaround but you can’t expect them to give him the shot on a pay per view as a spot like that is reserved for people from real promotions like New Japan. Let’s get to it.

We recap last week’s Honor Rumble with the Addiction cheating to give Kazarian the win.

War Machine vs. Coast to Coast vs. Tempura Boyz

One fall to a finish and War Machine’s IWGP Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line. There are no tags either so this is going to be a heck of a mess. War Machine cleans house to start and Rowe throws both Boyz at the same time just because he can. Hanson throws Rowe at LSG and it’s pure dominance to start.

Coast to Coast gets their faces punched in on the floor but the Boyz are up with double dives to the floor as we take a break. Back with War Machine down for a bit, only to come back in with Rowe slamming Sho onto Yo. The monsters are sent outside though and it’s Yo hitting a cutter on LSG. Rowe is back in though and a knee to the head sends Yo outside. Most of the participants wind up on the floor so LSG hits a flip dive, only to have Hanson hit a flip dive onto EVERYONE, leaving Sho to take a clothesline/German suplex combination.

Ali dives in for the save and it’s Yo getting put into the Tree of Woe but War Machine breaks up the Coast to Coast. The Boyz grab a spike piledriver for two on Rowe, who pops up and powerbombs both Boyz at the same time. A pop up powerslam plants Yo and a series of backbreakers sets up a top rope splash from Hanson for the pin at 11:24.

Rating: B. Everyone was working here and my general indifference to the Boyz was made up for by the awesomeness that is War Machine. They’re just big monsters who can do cool moves and that’s really all you need most of the time. Really solid match here as Coast to Coast continues to impress as well.

Post match, War Machine complains about Ring of Honor treating them badly and not giving them a title shot in over a year. They were supposed to have a shot at the Young Bucks but another team was added to the match to keep War Machine from getting a fair shot. They’re tired of playing nice and you won’t like this version. This didn’t sound like a heel turn but more like them just being aggressive.

Video on Flip Gordon.

Corey Hollis vs. Flip Gordon

Flip, uh, flips out of a wristlock to start and nips up off a shoulder block. The handstand walk gets Flip out of trouble and a dive to the floor takes Hollis out. A flip dive misses though and Gordon gets dropped ribs first onto the top. Back from a break with Hollis working on an armbar. Gordon fights up and hits a flip Sling Blade followed by a running shooting star press for two more. Hollis catches him in the corner again but Flip is right back up with a springboard kick to the face. A springboard 450 (with the knees landing on Hollis’ chest) gives Flip the pin at 9:30.

Rating: D. Gordon is a one note character and there’s really nothing wrong with that. He’s not hiding what he’s doing out there and that’s kind of refreshing. Unfortunately he’s also really sloppy with that ending looking terrible. Reign him in a bit and have him do things a bit more slowly and accurately instead of throwing in everything he can and he’ll look a lot better in a hurry.

Kazarian says he wants to win the title to tick off the fans and ROH.

Long video recapping the Women of Honor. I’m going to put this as politely as I can: no one cares. Like really, no one cares. There are great women’s divisions around the world but Ring of Honor’s is just not on that list. It never gets any kind of attention and the handful of specials they’ve had aren’t enough to make me care about a four or five woman division. If ROH cared about them like they said they did, these people would be on the regular shows and not stuck on YouTube.

Kelly Klein says she’s ready to beat anyone put in front of her.

ROH World Title: Frankie Kazarian vs. Cody

Cody is defending and wins the early feeling out process. A release gordbuster drops Kazarian and it’s back to the standoff. Cody trips him down again and we hit the Figure Four but Kazarian is right next to the ropes. They’re certainly not wasting time early on. A dragon screw legwhip over the middle rope looks to set up a dive to the floor but Kazarian is back up with a slingshot hurricanrana.

Back in and Cody gets backdropped to the apron, setting up a kick to the head to drop him again. Kazarian scores with a spinning springboard Fameasser and we take a break. Back with Cody armdragging him off the top for a heck of a crash to put both guys down. The Beautiful Disaster connects but Kazarian grabs the slingshot cutter for another near fall. Cody is right back with a snap powerslam (well to be fair Goldust and Randy Orton both use it) and a YES Lock of all things. I’m not sold on Bryan coming back to ROH but they’re teasing the heck out of it.

Cue Daniels for a distraction but Marty Scurll comes out to even things up. Not that it matters as Scurll gets posted, allowing Kazarian to miss a belt shot. Now it’s a ref bump because ROH loves to overbook. Daniels gets in the belt shot to set up the Unprettier for a VERY close two.

Marty is back up to shove Kazarian off the top though and Daniels is thrown inside. Somehow the now conscious referee doesn’t think any of this is a DQ, including Daniels taking Cody down. Scurll superkicks Daniels to take him out, leaving Cody to grab Cross Rhodes to retain at 11:43.

Rating: C-. This match wasn’t even twelve minutes and had two people interfering, a belt shot and a ref bump. There’s no reason whatsoever that a match should do so much nonsense, nor should it need to. They were having a perfectly good match until the screwiness started up and then it was a completely different everything. If you just have to do something like that, do ONE THING and nothing more. Why is that so hard to understand?

Overall Rating: C. I’ve seen worse shows but it felt like they were cramming in as much stuff as they could into a single show. I believe this is the last episode of the taping cycle, meaning there’s almost no way of knowing what we’ll be seeing next week. Maybe we can even talk about the pay per view for a change. It would be nice to actually be caught up for once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: October 4, 2017
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

It’s night number two of Ultima Lucha Tres and they have a big bar to live up to after last week’s main event. The good thing is we’re likely about to move up the card a bit and see some of the bigger stories played out, which is exactly the point of a show like this. Hopefully we get some more of the big story tonight too. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at last week’s show and previews tonight’s three matches.

Ivelisse and Jeremiah Crane get in an argument over him having feelings for Catrina. She doesn’t need a man so after she beats up Catrina, she’ll beat him up too. A hard kick to the chest sends Crane into a locker.

Battle Royal

Joey Ryan, PJ Black, Ricky Mundo, Vinnie Massaro, Mascarita Sagrada, Argenis, Mala Surete, Saltador, Paul London, Cortez Castro, Son of Madness, The Mack, Pimpinela Escarlata

For a unique opportunity, which could mean anything. Massaro gets superkicked out to start and the Rabbit Tribe dances around Madness as they are known to do. It actually works as they get together and toss him out, followed by Sagrada knocking Castro and Ryan off the apron for a double elimination. Yep it’s going to be one of those battle royals.

London thrusts his crotch at Escarlata so he bites said crotch and dumps Paul. Suerte and Saltador are out in a hurry, followed by Escarlata kissing Argenis and eliminating him, only to fall out as well. Black kicks Sagrada low (kind of difficult to do) and throws him out. Mack dumps Mundo and a Stunner gets rid of Black to give Mack the win at 3:32.

Rating: D-. I’m really not sure what to think of these battle royals where everyone is thrown out in the span of a few minutes. Most of the people were just there for the sake of being there and it’s not like Mack getting the win was a surprise, though the match was pretty much over before I had a chance to start caring about anything. I get that it’s the point but sweet goodness give it a few more minutes or have less dead weight.

Dario Cueto comes out to announce the unique opportunity: a Trios Titles match next week, but with Dante Fox and Killshot as his partners, assuming they’re still alive.

Catrina vs. Ivelisse

This was set up at the start of the season and we’re just supposed to remember why they hate each other (Catrina cost her her first two Ultima Lucha matches). Ivelisse sprints to the ring and the fight is on in a hurry. Catrina shows some fire though and slugs away into a standoff. Vampiro cheers for a wardrobe malfunction (they’re basically wrestling in swimsuits, which is far from a complaint) as Catrina runs into Dario’s office in a way to fill in some time.

Ivelisse follows her in and gets blasted with a bottle to draw some serious blood. Dario looks out as she carries Ivelisse up the steps and shuts the door in a good visual. A kick to the head knocks Catrina back down the steps and they get inside for a change of pace. Catrina scores with a spear and a double arm DDT before grabbing the stone. That earns her a spinebuster before Ivelisse takes the stone away and knocks her silly. A DDT ends Catrina at 6:17.

Rating: D+. This was far less of a match than it was a spectacle and there’s nothing wrong with that. Catrina has some in-ring experience but that was a long time ago so there’s no point in trying to do more than this. Ivelisse beating her was all that matters and it felt like a big fight, though I could have gone with a lot more. It’s a shame that Ivelisse was injured for so much of Lucha Underground as I would have loved to see what else she could have done.

Post match Crane runs in and hits Ivelisse’s ankle with a hammer, allowing Catrina to steal the stone again.

We run down the remaining card.

Fenix vs. Marty Martinez

Mask vs. Hair. They slug it out to start until Mariposa grabs Fenix’s leg. The distraction lets Marty grab a belly to belly superplex and send Fenix outside. They switch places in a hurry though and Fenix tries a dive, only to have Marty pull Mariposa into the way instead. That’s it for Mariposa and she’s out, with a double middle finger to Marty. Back in and Fenix kicks her in the head, only to get taken down again.

Marty rips half of the mask off but settles for a powerbomb instead. Fenix is dropped face first onto an exposed buckle and the blood is flowing again. A TKO gets two on Fenix but he’s right back with a rolling cutter onto the apron. The mask is pretty much worthless now as you can see half of his face, making it a glorified eye patch. There’s a Lethal Injection to drop Marty but he’s right back up with a running clothesline to put both guys down.

Marty goes up top for some reason, allowing Fenix to pull him back down with a Spanish Fly to knock both of them silly. They slug it out from their knees until Marty hits a running curb stomp for two more. That sends him over to a lunchbox to find some scissors. That’s enough to get Melissa onto the apron for a low blow, allowing Fenix to hit something like a Kinshasa to the back of the head. A springboard 450 with Melissa climbing on top as well ends Marty at 12:22.

Rating: B-. I can go for a match based on emotion and that’s what we had here. These two beat the heck out of each other than that’s all it needed to be. Fenix is one of the unsung heroes of this show and that’s a very valuable thing to have. The fans buy into him and want to see him win, especially with the Melissa stuff. Fun match here but the ending is what matters most.

Marty tries to bail but Mariposa blasts him in the head with something made of metal. She even handcuffs him to the railings and the big haircut ends the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This didn’t have the big match of last week but it was a better show top to bottom. We’re starting to get into the bigger stuff now and the second and third matches were more than enough to make this work. It’s a fun show, but you could cut out something like the battle royal and make it even better. The big time stuff starts next week though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live
Date: October 3, 2017
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Vic Joseph, Nigel McGuinness

Things are rapidly changing around here as we have a new member of the roster with Kurt Angle, who apparently is in charge of 205 Live as well, signing Kalisto. That probably means we’ll be seeing Kalisto as Amore’s first failed title challenger and that’s not the worst idea in the world. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the end of last night’s show with Kalisto debuting. Thankfully most of Enzo’s insults to the members of the division are included because that’s about all he’s good for.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kalisto with something to say. He’s here to take over the cruiserweight division and he can’t wait to become the new Cruiserweight Champion. Cue Enzo with the fans still doing his entrance along with him. Enzo says Kalisto is the lucky luchador leprechaun to be on the Zo Show but he should be scared to donate his outfit to the Salvation Army. Until tonight though, you couldn’t give away a Kalisto mask but now sales are going to shoot up because Kalisto is talking to Enzo.

Kalisto says Enzo talks too much (expect to hear that line a lot in the coming months) and we see a clip of Enzo kicking Neville low to win the title. Enzo doesn’t care because he won the match and calls Kalisto centimeter. Sure Kalisto went toe to toe with Braun Strowman but he wound up in a trashcan. Kalisto used to be the US Champion but he’s been a huge letdown ever since he lost the title. Enzo talks about being a big star who signs autographs at airports. Tonight though, we’ll be seeing the first loss for Kalisto on 205 Live against the biggest Persian thing since the Kardashians.

Kalisto vs. Ariya Daivari

Daivari wastes no time in slugging away in the corner but a nice headscissors takes him down. Kalisto’s modified springboard (he intentionally lands shins first on the top rope) flip dive to the floor drops Daivari on the floor. Back in and Daivari slams the rope into Kalisto’s head (that’s different) to take over.

A big boot in the corner drops Kalisto again and we hit the chinlock. Kalisto fights up and hits the corkscrew headbutt, followed by the hurricanrana driver for two of his own. Daivari grabs a spinebuster though, followed by the frog splash for two, which pretty much seals his fate. He takes too long getting up and the Salida Del Sol gives Daivari the pin at 4:46.

Rating: D+. Daivari got in WAY too much offense here and it hurt the match a lot. Kalisto should have been a lot more dominant in his debut and it looked more like he won off a fluke than anything else. The Salida Del Sol is a great finisher but he needs to do more than sell all match and then hit one move to win.

Enzo isn’t impressed.

Recap of Jack Gallagher and Brian Kendrick joining forces to torment Cedric Alexander.

Here’s Drew Gulak to talk about how he’s wanted to change 205 Live long before anyone else did. Therefore, tonight we’ll be seeing slides 8-277 of his POWERPOINT PRESENTATION! Proposal #8: No Flipping! If you’re constantly flipping up and down, how will you know your left from your right or your right from your wrong? Unfortunately the words of wisdom are cut off by an interruption and it’s time for a match.

Drew Gulak vs. Mustafa Ali

In addition to Ali, here’s Akira Tozawa to have a seat on the stage. Drew takes Ali down by the wrist but stops to look up at Tozawa. It’s bad enough that Drew heads outside, starting up the Tozawa war chant. Of course Gulak grabs his NO CHANTS sign and marches around the ring, allowing Ali to flip him over. A sloppy hurricanrana takes Gulak down again and a high crossbody gets two.

Gulak reverses a tornado DDT and gets in a knee to the chest to take over again. We hit a chinlock and then a cross arm choke with Tozawa’s war chant having no effect on Gulak this time. Ali fights up and scores with a dropkick followed by a neckbreaker fir two, Gulak reverses a whip though and suplexes Ali into the corner but the war chant makes Gulak miss a charge (which we almost miss because of the FREAKING CROWD REACTION SHOTS). The 054 ends Gulak at 6:44.

Rating: C-. That crowd reaction shot actually got on my nerves as Drew was running, then we went to the crowd, then we came back for him hitting the crowd. Is the director that jittery that he can’t even sit still long enough for someone to run across the ring? As usual, Gulak needs to actually win a match or the blowoff isn’t going to mean anything. Then again, I said the same thing about Kendrick and he did fine.

Tozawa gets in and does the war chant.

Kendrick feels responsible for what happened to Enzo. He fell victim to the mob mentality and stands with Daivari at the champion’s side. Brian can’t stand next to Cedric Alexander though because his generation is too soft. Tonight, Gallagher is going to drink Cedric’s milkshake. Cue Cedric to attack Kendrick and take out his ankle.

Jack Gallagher vs. Cedric Alexander

Gallagher is wrestling in a suit. Cedric sends him hard into the corner to start and scores with a dropkick, only to get tossed outside. Back in and Jack stomps on his head before grabbing a facelock. Gallagher fires off some hard kicks in the corner and cranks on the ankle. A double knee stomp gives Gallagher two with Cedric screaming in pain.

Gallagher gets two more off a dropkick (with some hard shoes) but it just seems to fire Cedric up. They head outside with Cedric hitting a hard suicide dive and unloading on Gallagher with right hands. Jack is sent hard into the barricade so he hides underneath the ring, allowing him to get in a cheap shot. It’s William III time but Cedric takes it away and BLASTS Gallagher over the back with it for the DQ at 6:35.

Rating: C+. I can always give someone credit for wrestling in a suit. Gallagher needed the change in appearance as there’s only so much you can look with that much pale skin showing. Alexander was his usual self here, but again he’s not going to be near the title for several months to come. Nice, hard hitting match though.

They keep brawling post match with Cedric getting the better of it and adding a springboard kick to the chest. Kendrick limps out to stand over Jack to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. As usual, there’s just not much to say when it’s not about Enzo. I know he’s annoying but he’s right when he says almost nothing else matters but him. The show was fine enough, but you really can feel the lack of star power. Then again that might be because these feuds are all just personal and Kalisto is getting the title shot, likely at the next pay per view. I’m not sure how they’re going to handle none of the regular roster getting a shot but it’s really not doing their statuses any favors.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 5, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Josh Matthews

We’re closing in on Bound For Glory and fresh off another show that ended in chaos with the American Top Team guys cleaning house. World Champion Eli Drake actually got to do something though as he and Chris Adonis got to beat down Johnny Impact and Garza Jr., who is now involved in the main event scene for some reason. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of Lance Russell.

We get a Pray For Vegas graphic.

We open with a recap of Johnny Impact vs. Eli Drake last week with Impact getting cheated out of the title. Johnny wants a fair rematch.

Opening sequence.

Here are Drake and Adonis to open things up. Drake talks about driving down Victory Road last week and pulling straight into Slam Town. He turned the ghetto into a parking lot and built Eli’s Cakes on top. Eli: “YUMMY! YEAH!” Johnny isn’t here tonight and there’s a good chance he won’t get back after that Gravy Train he took last week.

Drake turns his sights to Jim Cornette, whose golden boy couldn’t get the job done. Cornette has brought up every challenger he can and next week he’s sending the champ to Japan. Since he has to go halfway around the world next week, he’s getting the night off tonight. As for Adonis though, he wants to fight so let’s get an opponent out here right now.

Chris Adonis vs. Garza Jr.

Adonis is in street clothes and Drake joins commentary. Garza scores with a series of kicks for two but Adonis takes over on the arm. Back up and a hurricanrana takes Adonis out to the floor but he drops Garza onto the barricade as we take a break. We come back with Garza fighting out of a chinlock but getting caught in a butterfly suplex.

Adonis cranks on both arms as this match just keeps going. Seriously it’s Chris Masters vs. the local luchador. Why is this getting ten minutes? A spinebuster plants Garza but we cut to the back where Johnny Impact arrives. The Adonis Lock doesn’t work as Garza sends him into the corner. Drake bails to feed the parking meter and THERE GO GARZA’S PANTS!!! The Lionsault misses and Impact runs in for the DQ at 12:00.

Rating: D-. We just sat through Chris Masters vs. the luchador whose big spot is taking his pants off for twelve minutes with a run-in DQ. That’s the best thing they have to open the show? Horrible stuff here as Adonis really isn’t interesting and hasn’t changed a bit since he was in WWE. Find something more interesting than this.

Post match Impact beats up Adonis but gets in a fight with Garza. Cue Jim Cornette to make Impact vs. Garza Jr. for next week (yay). He throws in a bonus: the winner will be facing Drake for the title at Bound For Glory. So Garza goes from a midcard tag guy to possibly #1 contender for the World Title in the main event of the biggest show of the year in a few weeks? Even Jinder Mahal would think that’s extreme. Garza and Impact brawl some more. By the way, the total time between Cornette coming up and the music playing after his announcement: 87 seconds.

Recap of Moose vs. Bobby Lashley, which of course features the American Top Team guys. Good grief why do they think we care?

Moose is in a parked car looking for Lashley. He’s heading for the American Top Team headquarters.

Wrestlers are ready for Bound For Glory.

We look at OVE winning the Tag Team Titles last week.

Konnan yells at LAX for losing so Santana gets in his face. The card table is turned over.

OVE vs. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill

Non-title. Jake starts with Bolen but gets waistlocked for his efforts. A high crossbody and neckbreaker drop Bolen and McGill is sent outside as well. Jake drops both of them with a double suicide dive, followed by Dave’s Asai moonsault. Back in and OVE kicks McGill in the head a few times and let’s plug those Pop TV sitcoms. A High/Low puts Bolen away at 3:38.

Rating: D+. Just a quick win here to further establish OVE as stars. It would be nice if they established some other teams though as I’m not sure who OVE is supposed to feud with after they presumably defeat LAX in the rematch at the pay per view. The tag division is one of the company’s weakest points and that’s really covering a lot of ground.

We recap James Storm/Ethan Carter III vs. the AAA guys, who completely hate this company because the script tells them to.

Here are KM and Sienna with the latter complaining about not having a match on Bound For Glory. No one has a match on the show yet you nitwit. She says she’s going into the Hall of Fame this year so here’s Gail Kim to interrupt. Gail wants her show at the Knockouts Championship Title (still such an odd way to word it) at Bound For Glory.

Cue Taryn Terrell to say she was the longest reigning Knockouts Champion in history and wants a chance to get the title back. Now it’s Allie coming out with Josh seemingly liking her look this week. The other three might be former Knockouts Champions but she’s Allie and deserves another chance to become champion. Cue Karen Jarrett to say Sienna isn’t going into the Hall of Fame. Yes, they actually felt that we needed that explained to us. It’s also a four way for the title at Bound For Glory.

Joseph Park has a meet and greet scheduled for Grado but Grado thinks the prices are a little high. Park says you can charge these marks anything. He pays Grado what seems to be a small amount of money but Grado again seems happy with it.

Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee vs. Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams/Matt Sydal

Remember like three weeks ago when Sydal was getting a World Title shot? Or remember like fourteen years ago when people cared about Petey Williams? I mean you should, as it’s the only reason he’s in this spot at the moment. Everything breaks down just a few seconds in with the villains taking over early on, only to be sent into each other. A triple dropkick sends them outside, followed by an apron moonsault and a double suicide dive.

Back from a break with Dutt and Sydal legsweeping Lee and Konley to set up stereo standing moonsaults. Dutt gets kneed in the back and kicked in the face as the beating begins. Konley works on the arm as the announcers talk about the villains’ unity for wearing all black gear. Or they want to make sure no one recognizes them on this show.

Dutt grabs a tornado DDT while dropkicking everyone else, setting up the hot tag to Petey so house can be cleaned in a hurry. Everything breaks down and Sydal’s top rope double knees takes Lee down. Matt throws Lee into Everett on the top, followed by the shooting star to end Everett at 14:31.

Rating: C. I’m not even going to bother with the sarcasm here. It was a completely watchable cruiserweight match that means a grand total of nothing because they’re going to be thrown into an Ultimate X match for the title where no one gets to showcase any individuality and the whole thing is about crazy spots that we’ve seen before and we hear about how important the X-Division is despite it never getting any focus. We’ve heard the same thing for the better part of ten years now and I’m tired of pretending it’s going to change.

Dutt wants the title shot at Bound For Glory and the winners get in an argument over who should have the chance. Just announce Ultimate X already so it can be over hyped.

Here’s this week’s Global Forged.

Laurel Van Ness is back in the audience looking a husband.

Moose arrives at the gym and shoves Dan Lambert away. He gets in a cage but a fighter punches him in the face so the beatdown can be on. They throw Moose out of the building.

Ethan Carter III/James Storm vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/Texano Jr.

In what is becoming a trend, this is getting nearly half an hour. Storm takes Texano down to start as JB hypes this as main eventers vs. main eventers. Carter and Storm get in an argument over a tag though and it’s Fantasma sneaking in for a cheap shot to take over. Storm slips over and makes the tag to Carter for a flapjack on Texano.

The TK3 gets two but Fantasma gets the same off a dropkick. Carter is taken into the heel corner for some stomping, followed by a hard kick to the chest for two. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit until Carter fights up, only to have Pagano come strolling down. Back from a break with Carter still in trouble via some more choking on the ropes.

Texano adds in a jawbreaker and shouts in Spanish for Fantasma to go up. That means a missed splash though and a cutter allows the hot tag to Storm. Everything breaks down again and Storm starts to clean house. It must not be a very big house though as Fantasma superkicks him down, only to get crotched on top. He hasn’t had much luck up there.

The Tower of Doom takes everyone down and thing slow a bit. Carter is thrown outside and then into the post by Pagano as Eddie Edwards not being here to even things out is likely going to be a plot point. Storm loads up a suplex, only to have Pagano trip him up and hold the leg so Fantasma can get the pin at 19:50.

Rating: D+. This one boils down to whether this story interests you or not. It doesn’t in my case as I still have no reason to care about any of the AAA guys, nor do any of them have any motivation to be heels other than they’re from another company. That’s not enough of a story for my taste and I really didn’t need to see a completely average at best tag match going on for twenty minutes.

We go back to the LAX club house where Konnan has a big idea: a street fight at Bound For Glory. Everyone leaves to party and Low Ki is shaking his head.

Overall Rating: D. The show still feels completely flat as almost nothing interesting happened all night long. A big part of that is the roster being filled by so many outsiders, be they from MMA or AAA. It’s one thing if the matches are tearing the house down or something (like the lucha libre in ECW where they were a bunch of outsiders but stealing the show in a way no one had seen in America before) but that’s not what we’re getting here.

Instead it’s a bunch of average matches with very weak stories that aren’t drawing in any special interest. Odds are the MMA guys get in the ring at Bound For Glory, which hasn’t been interesting before and won’t be this time either. Either way, I’m sure we’ll be told that it’s the most thrilling thing we’ve ever seen and how the company is changing wrestling.

What GFW doesn’t seem to get is that changing wrestling isn’t always a good thing and just being different for the sake of being different doesn’t work. They need a focus and I really haven’t seen that in a long time. Figure out what you want to be and go with it, but just bringing in a bunch of people from another promotion whose entire characters are “this person is from this promotion and they’re awesome” isn’t enough. The show wasn’t terrible by any stretch but it also was one of the least interesting ones they’ve done in a good while, which is the case way too often around here.

Results

Chris Adonis b. Garza Jr. via DQ when Johnny Impact interfered

OVE b. Jon Bolen/Trey McGill – High/Low to Bolen

Matt Sydal/Sonjay Dutt/Petey Williams b. Trevor Lee/Caleb Konley/Andrew Everett – Shooting star press to Everett

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

So we have this Shield reunion.  How can this be used to benefit Roman Reigns?

https://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-still-eerily-like-diesel/