Monday Night Raw
Date: February 20, 2017
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

It’s a big show this week with a ton of things to get to. First of all, Brock Lesnar is scheduled to be in the house and that’s huge in general. Second, Bayley has been told to either give her title back to Charlotte or else, which could mean multiple things. Oh and Rock might be in town. Let’s get to it.

In Memory of George Steele. Not Ivan Koloff for some reason.

We open with a long recap of the Festival of Friendship and Kevin Owens turning on Chris Jericho. Sweet popcorn baked into a pie that was an amazing segment.

Owens is sitting in the ring in the dark in a chair to get things going. When he was growing up, if anyone had told him he would be defending the World Title against Goldberg in the main event of a pay per view, he would have thought you were crazy. Of course he’d be in the main event of a pay per view, but against Goldberg? The Goldberg chants start up and Owens thinks that’s exactly what he wanted to hear.

That’s the chant that makes Goldberg think he’s invincible as they head into their match at Fastlane. At the pay per view, all Owens has to do is outlast and outsmart Goldberg because the longer a Goldberg match goes, the weaker and weaker he gets. Owens is the master of outsmarting opponents and no one knows how to play the game like him.

Goldberg can say Owens is next all he wants but as far as Owens is concerned, Goldberg is nothing. As for what happened last week with Jericho….Owens drops the mic and walks out. This is the Owens that we’ve been waiting to see on the main roster for a long time and that’s nothing but good as we head into the final stretch to Wrestlemania. Owens was great here and that’s awesome to see.

Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

The winners get a title shot at Fastlane. Cass slugs it out with Cesaro to start before it’s off to Enzo, who is launched at Sheamus in the corner. Back from an early break with Enzo in trouble but backdropping Cesaro out to the floor. Sheamus gives chase though and Cesaro just blasts Amore with an uppercut to break up the hot tag attempt (Cue crowd reaction shot!). Cass comes in a few seconds later and everything breaks down. The corkscrew uppercut drops Cass but Enzo breaks up the swing. The East River Crossing ends Cesaro at 9:17.

Rating: C-. Can we please wrap up the Cesaro and Sheamus experiment already? They weren’t an interesting team in the first place and for some reason we’re still watching them do their thing. Then again, the tag division is pretty much four teams (if you count New Day) so it’s not like there’s any better option.

Post match Enzo runs his mouth and gets Brogue Kicked. That doesn’t feel exactly like a heel turn.

Owens is leaving when Mick Foley comes in to say he has a match with Sami Zayn tonight. Kevin chuckles and says he thought Foley liked Sami.

Video on Braun Strowman.

Video on Bayley winning the Women’s Title and fulfilling her lifelong dream. This sounds like the setup for a cruiserweight match.

Roman Reigns interrupts Foley and wants to fight Strowman tonight. Foley says that can’t happen but here are Anderson and Gallows to interrupt. They want to fight Reigns again tonight and Foley agrees if Roman can find a partner.

Brian Kendrick vs. Akira Tozawa

I would have expected a bit longer build to this one. Tozawa won’t shake hands so Kendrick hits him before the bell, including sending him neck/ear first into the turnbuckle hook. The Captain’s Hook knocks Tozawa out and there’s no match.

In the back, Kendrick says he won’t be disrespected like that.

Roman Reigns/??? vs. Anderson and Gallows

Non-title and Reigns’ partner is……not here as this is just going to be a handicap match. Anderson starts for the team but Roman drops them both to control early on. Gallows kicks him in the face though and it’s already off to the chinlock. The Boot of Doom is broken up and it turns into a double beating on the floor. A chair is brought in but Reigns takes it away and beats the champs down for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: D+. Another short match that makes me wonder what the point is in having the Tag Team Champions get treated like this. Is there NO ONE ELSE that can do the mini feud with Reigns? Like, no two big guys you could throw out there? It’s almost like having the divisions this divided has ruined a lot of things and gives us moments like this.

Post match Reigns Superman Punches Gallows and spears Anderson out of the air, sending the champs crawling away.

Video on New Day being announced as the hosts of Wrestlemania.

New Day vs. Rusev/Jinder Mahal

Reigns couldn’t have beaten up Rusev and Mahal? Before the match, New Day says they’re working on a bunch of things right now, including being the hosts of Wrestlemania and trying to become the voices of the hyenas in the new Lion King movie (Kofi: “That’s not a joke.”).

On top of that, they’ve got the ice cream machine plans back and THEY’VE DIGITIZED THEM! Lana holds up a tablet and says she has the plans….which seem to be authentic. Apparently they include a flux capacitor, three unicorn hairs and New Day starts panicking. Woods: “HOW DID SHE GET THE PLANS?” Big E.: “You know she’s Russian right?”

The match is joined in progress with Rusev grabbing a bearhug on Kofi. It’s quickly off to Jinder, who can’t do a thing due to high levels of being Jinder Mahal. Big E. comes in and cleans house, including putting Rusev on the floor for a big dive. This lets Woods take the tablet back and completely destroy it for a big pop. The Midnight Hour puts Jinder away at 3:42.

Rating: D+. What in the world happened to Rusev? Like really, the guy should have been a big deal or at least feuded with Big Cass but now he’s jobbing in a nothing tag team? This really is a waste of someone who could have been something special and of course he still could be fine, but at the moment it’s a big waste of time. New Day is fine in this role as it’s not like they have anything else to do right now so let them have fun at Wrestlemania.

Video on George Steele.

Austin Aries is in the ring for the contract signing between Neville and Jack Gallagher. Since Gallagher is present, there are already cookies and tea prepared. Gallagher quickly signs before Neville can even come out. Neville does the same and immediately goes to leave, only to be stopped by Gallagher.

Neville mocks all of the British stereotypes and calls Gallagher a caricature. The real streets of England look like Neville but Gallagher is what the WWE Universe wanted Neville to be. Gallagher assures him that he is NOT a joke because this is the real thing. The table, including the tea is turned over and the fight is on with the headbutt sending Neville outside. Gallagher is one of my favorites at the moment but if they don’t do Neville vs. Aries for the title at Wrestlemania, they’ve lost their minds.

Nia Jax b. Sara Pierce

Splash and Samoan drop finish Pierce at 34 seconds.

Post match Nia says she’s putting Bayley and the title on notice.

Black History Month video on Barack Obama.

Here’s Bayley for her first appearance as Women’s Champion. She grew up here in California and had a dream of being a champion and getting to point at a Wrestlemania sign. When she was a kid, her dad brought her to the events and bought her all the shirts and toys. Last week, the first thing she did was call her dad and it’s a call she’ll never forget. Bayley’s dad is here tonight and the fans are making her look cool in front of her dad.

Cue Stephanie McMahon to ask if Bayley’s dream included everyone wondering if she could have done it without Sasha Banks. Stephanie’s daughters look up to her and she wants to know if Bayley is going to throw everything away for the sake of a championship that she didn’t earn. Bayley is about to hand it over when Sasha Banks comes out to say don’t do it. She thinks about it but says no way is she handing the title over. Bayley won the title because of the WWE Universe. The title belongs to all of them and she’ll defend it any time any place.

Cue Charlotte to say she’s cashing in her rematch at Fastlane. Sasha cuts her off and says Bayley will keep the title at the pay per view. As for tonight though, Sasha’s knee is feeling fine so let’s have a trip down memory lane. Stephanie makes the match right now because of course she gets to have the last word.

Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte

Bayley is on commentary. Joined in progress again with Sasha grabbing a headscissors but getting her face driven into the match. Charlotte does the Figure Four faceplants and grabs a necklock. Sasha is sent outside and we take a break. Back with Charlotte grabbing a dragon sleeper. Sasha fights out and makes her comeback, including a dropkick in the corner. Cue Dana Brooke for a distraction but Bayley cuts her off, allowing the Banks Statement to make Charlotte tap at 10:03.

Rating: C-. This didn’t have time to go anywhere with the long break in the middle but you can pretty much pencil in the four way at Wrestlemania from here. Sasha is going to make a great heel when she turns, even if you can see it coming a mile away. Oh and can we please drop the “renewal of a rivalry” when they last fought about two months ago? That’s rather pitiful.

Diamond Dallas Page Hall of Fame video. This is LONG overdue.

Sami Zayn knew Owens would do this kind of thing and he told us all it would happen. He sees a lot of similarities between Owens and Samoa Joe (insert your own Scott Steiner “HE’S FAT” joke here), including both of them doing all kinds of horrible things for the sake of some demented loyalty to someone else. Tonight, Sami is kicking Owens’ teeth down his throat.

Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn

Non-title. Before the match, cue Samoa Joe to massacre Sam. For some reason he agrees to the match anyway and it’s a Cannonball to crush Zayn even worse. The referee pulls him off so it’s a second Cannonball and the Pop Up Powerbomb to give Owens the pin at 1:11.

At 10:48pm, this show is dedicated to the memory of Ivan Koloff.

The bosses are in the back and Stephanie ribs on Foley for not coming out there during either the women’s segment or Samoa Joe beating Sami down. Foley FINALLY stands up for himself and blames Stephanie for Seth Rollins being injured. He was telling HHH and Stephanie how great Samoa Joe was twelve years ago and yells about how he’s not letting Stephanie’s greed get in the way of this show. Stephanie threatens him with an “accident” and Foley leaves.

Cole is in the back for a sitdown interview with Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. We get straight to the point with Goldberg but Heyman cuts Cole off and says Lesnar isn’t interested in questions like this one. Heyman says Lesnar isn’t interested in hearing about Goldberg winning the title so Lesnar scares Cole away and stares straight into the camera.

Paul talks about Owens attacking Jericho last week because Lesnar disagrees with Owens being the most violent champion in years. Lesnar isn’t interested in hearing about Owens but Heyman talks about Kevin’s greatness anyway. A lot of people want to see Owens pull it off but Lesnar disagrees because if Owens loses, it’s Goldberg vs. Lesnar for the title. That’s just one more thing for Lesnar to conquer at Wrestlemania and that’s what he wants to do.

The ring is reenforced for the main event.

Braun Strowman vs. Big Show

And yes, this really is the main event. Show grabs a wristlock to start but Braun rolls around and nips up to escape. Now that’s going to get him noticed. Show shoves him down but gets punched in the jaw and dropped for his efforts. Strowman charges into a choke but easily reverses into a DDT for two. A clothesline drops Show for two and it’s all Strowman so far.

Show reverses a suplex into one of his own and grabs the chokeslam for two. The powerslam doesn’t work so Show puts him on top for the superplex. Strowman escapes that but dives into the KO Punch for two. Show loads up the Vader Bomb, only to have Strowman get up for the powerslam (doesn’t look great) for two of his own. Not that it matters as Braun hits another powerslam for the pin at 12:10.

Rating: C. Right here is a great example of a match that doesn’t need to be good to get the point across. Much like last week, this was about Strowman showing that he’s the new star instead of the old guard like Show or Mark Henry. It’s a very simple idea but they’re telling the right story, which is all you can ask for.

Post match Reigns comes out and gets in a few Superman Punches but Strowman hits the powerslam to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was an odd show as they advanced a lot of stories and set up a bunch of stuff for Fastlane but there’s nothing going on here that is worth going out of your way to see. Above all else though they’ve hit the switch and it’s clearly time to get ready for Wrestlemania. They’re taking things more seriously and you can see where a lot of the stories are going. I can’t believe I’m saying it but for once, I actually care about the Raw stories more than Smackdown. The show has been good lately and it’s at the perfect time.

Results

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Cesaro/Sheamus – East River Crossing to Cesaro

Anderson and Gallows b. Roman Reigns via DQ when Reigns used a chair

New Day b. Rusev/Jinder Mahal – Midnight Hour to Mahal

Nia Jax b. Sara Pierce – Samoan drop

Sasha Banks b. Charlotte – Bank Statement

Kevin Owens b. Sami Zayn – Pop Up Powerbomb

Braun Strowman b. Big Show – Powerslam

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

https://wrestlingrumors.net/breaking-another-hall-of-famer-has-been-officially-named-today/

Now can we get him considered for sainthood as well?

Just in case THE MOST AMAZING THINGS EVER weren’t enough in the first place.

That would be Donatello as the Ultimate Warrior, Raphael as Finn Balor, Michelangelo as Roddy Piper and Raphael as the Rock.  I’m not sure if some of those make sense but do you really think it matters here?

Main Event
Date: February 16, 2017
Location: T-Mobile Arena, Las Vegas, Nevada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, R-Truth, Byron Saxton

I think it’s safe to say that Main Event is on the biggest roll that it’s been on since I’ve been watching it. So much of that is due to the usage of some bigger stars around here, including New Day and Rusev in recent weeks. It instantly makes you feel like the show means a little more instead of being the same boring show that it’s been for so long. Hopefully that continues here so let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Sin Cara vs. Jinder Mahal

Jinder wants to be called Hard Body Mahal. Like Hard Body Harrison? That’s your role model? Mahal runs him over a few times to start but Cara unloads on him with right hands in the corner. That earns him a middle rope elbow to the head though and Mahal grabs a chinlock. Cara fights right back with his normal flips, only to get sent face first into the buckle. A Regal Cutter gives Jinder the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D. And so much for that false hope. Mahal is one of the staples of this show and that’s not a good thing. I know he’s been hooking up with Rusev lately but that doesn’t make him an interesting character. This was much more back to normal for Main Event and it sucked away the limited interested I had in watching the show.

To Raw for the first time.

Mark Henry vs. Braun Strowman

They do the big power lockup to start and neither goes anywhere. The referee backs Henry up so Strowman gets in a cheap shot to take over. Strowman drops a leg and grabs a chinlock to keep thing slow. The forearm to the chest is broken up but Henry can’t hit the World’s Strongest Slam. Braun actually hits a dropkick followed by the powerslam for the pin at 3:53.

Rating: C. You know, I didn’t mind this. It’s a good example of consider what they were going for here. The idea was to showcase Strowman as the new strongman and while that’s been done over and over, they did everything exactly as they should have here and I got the idea exactly. Well done here, which I never would have expected to say.

Post match Reigns comes out for the fight and knocks Strowman down with two Superman Punches. The spear is countered into the powerslam though and Reigns is laid out.

More from Raw.

Jericho introduces the Festival of Friendship and that means a bunch of showgirls coming out to welcome him to the ring. Jericho is in a shiny hat and jacket but Owens looks downright confused. There’s a bunch of covered stuff set up in the ring and Jericho promises a bunch of gifts.

First up: a sculpture of what looks like two people intertwined. Owens: “What is it?” Apparently it cost $7,000 and while Owens wants to call it stupid, he calls it a steal. Next is a painting of Jericho and Owens’ fingers touching ala the Michelangelo painting. Jericho thinks it belongs over Owens’ mantle. Owens: “Chris I have two kids and you’re not wearing pants!” Jericho: “It’s art! You don’t need pants!”

Finally, Jericho has a magician named Friendship who does some basic tricks (I’m a sucker for magic so this is the highlight so far). Owens says he has a nine year old son with a magic kit and he can do the same trick. Jericho agrees on the bad performance so Friendship the Magician JUST MADE THE LIST! After admitting that he found the magician on Craigslist, Jericho says this is just the beginning.

The real present is calling out Goldberg, who is going to get……we go to and come back from a commercial break……IT! We get the music but it’s Gillberg, who Owens promptly destroys. He’s not happy though and wants to know what Jericho is thinking. Jericho says he did this for his best friend and promises that Owens will retain the title at Fastlane.

Owens smiles and says he has a gift for Jericho too. It’s a NEW LIST….but Jericho’s name is on it! Jericho pulls it out of the box and it’s the LIST OF KO! Owens jumps Jericho and destroys him with the apron powerbomb. Jericho is sent into a big sign in the ring, leaving Owens to be showered in boos.

Mustafa Ali/Cedric Alexander vs. Drew Gulak/Tony Nese

At least Nese is back from his injury. Gulak and Ali hit the mat to start with Mustafa taking over off a headlock. Cedric comes in and dropkicks Gulak down but gets knocked outside as we take a break. Back with Drew running Cedric over and bending his arm backwards for some painful visuals. Nese gets sent into the corner though and it’s Mustafa coming in off the hot tag. A neckbreaker gets two on Nese and the inverted 450 puts him away at 10:06.

Rating: D+. Just a standard cruiserweight tag here and that’s not the most interesting thing in the world. As usual the problem here is a lack of star power as none of these four are really interesting enough to carry a match. Also what happened to Nese’s mini push? I know he was hurt but you can’t have Gulak take this fall? That’s all he exists for.

We’ll wrap it with the main event.

Women’s Title: Bayley vs. Charlotte

Charlotte is defending and they start slowly here with the champ working on the arm. Bayley does the same with some armdrags but Charlotte slaps her in the face. That just earns her an even harder slap to put Charlotte outside as we take a break. Back with Bayley Hulking Up until Charlotte whipping the back of Bayley’s head into the bottom rope.

A jawbreaker gets Bayley out of trouble but the neckbreaker into a choke has her right back in said trouble. The Ric Flair kneedrop sets up a dragon sleeper but Bayley climbs the corner to flip out. Another big boot stomps Bayley though and the pace slows right back down. A moonsault off the barricade makes Bayley’s neck even worse as Charlotte is beating the heck out of her.

Back inside and it’s time for another comeback with some hard chops and the middle rope elbow for two. Bayley goes one step higher with a top rope elbow for two more, followed by a top rope hurricanrana for the same. The fans are WAY into this and it’s not hard to see why. Bayley grabs a modified Figure Four but here’s Dana Brooke to rake the eyes for the save. Charlotte grabs the Figure Eight but here’s Sasha to hit Dana with the crutch. Charlotte takes a shot of her own to break it up and the Bayley to Belly gives Bayley the title at 18:03.

Rating: B+. The good storytelling continues here as they set up the underdog story so well. You can even forgive the interference as Sasha was only evening things up. I wouldn’t have changed the title here but after that Festival of Friendship, the fans needed something to bring them back to life and this is about as good as it’s going to get. Of course none of this matters if Charlotte walks out of Wrestlemania (yes Wrestlemania) as champion again but it’s a nice moment here. I’m sure I’ll have more on this one later but the match was much stronger than I was expecting.

Overall Rating: C. This show only worked because the stuff from Raw was all great. That was one of the better Raw’s in a long time and this could have been an outstanding episode of Main Event but unfortunately all of the original stuff was just there and really not very good. The lack of star power brings it right back down again because that’s how things work around here.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Unforgiven 2002
Date: September 22, 2002
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 16,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross, Tazz, Jerry Lawler

This isn’t exactly the most thrilling show in the world as the main events are Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar for the Smackdown World Title, HHH vs. Rob Van Dam for the Raw World Title and Billy and Chuck vs. 3 Minute Warning in the battle of the general managers. Yeah it’s not a good sign that we’re already doing interpromotional matches this soon on nothing pay per views. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at how we have TWO World Title matches tonight and calls the World Heavyweight Title (which it again tries to call the same thing as the WCW World Title) a “symbol of defiance”. So aside from the fact that IT’S NOT THE WCW TITLE, we’re supposed to buy that it’s defiant as it’s held by the most old school guy on the roster? To be fair, the sleeper is indeed pretty defiant.

If nothing else we get to hear Adrenaline all night long. Maybe this show won’t be that bad.

Un-Americans vs. Goldust/Bubba Ray Dudley/Kane/Booker T.

JR calls them the Unforgivens, which is a better sounding name for a stable (not this stable but a stable) actually. Goldust clotheslines Storm and Christian to start and it’s off to Bubba for the Flip Flop and Fly (Bubba with each pelvic thrust: “U! S! A!”) Bubba’s flapjack gets two as the fans are all over Regal, who I guess is officially a member of the team.

It’s off to Booker vs. Regal with the former playing D-Von on What’s Up (not touching that one), meaning it’s table time. The referee is actually smart enough to cut off the table, allowing it to be dropkicked into Booker’s face. That means we’re stuck with the WE WANT TABLES chant as Regal forearms Booker in the face a few times.

Christian comes in and eats a spinebuster, allowing the hot tag to Kane. Everything breaks down as house is cleaned, leaving Test to miss the pumphandle slam. Booker gets in the Spinarooni but gets decked by Christian. We hit the parade of secondary finishers until Kane chokeslams Storm for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match but it was a perfect choice for the opener. The whole “let’s fight for AMERICA” is always going to work and the flag being waved post match (you know it’s going to be) is all that needs to happen here. It’s a good example of something simple that did exactly what it was supposed to and that’s perfectly fine.

The flag is indeed waved.

Noted tag team specialist Stephanie McMahon gives Billy and Chuck a pep talk. Stephanie: “This is about pride. This is about respect. This is about…” Billy: “Making sure you don’t have to French kiss a lesbian tonight?” It’s a funny line so Stephanie cuts the laughter because THIS IS SERIOUS.

Intercontinental Title: Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair

Jericho is defending after losing to Flair last month and wanting to get some revenge. Flair is in black trunks and purple boots tonight for a really odd combination. Some chops look to set up the Figure Four in the first minute of the match so Jericho kicks him outside without too much effort.

Jericho’s missile dropkick gets two and it’s off to the abdominal stretch. That’s enough for Flair to start his comeback (rather soon for that) with chops and a whip into the post. The bulldog takes Flair back down but Jericho tweaks his knee on the Lionsault. Flair ACTUALLY BACKS OFF from the injury and Jericho goldbricks his way into the Walls to retain the title.

Rating: C-. Ok where’s the real ending for this one? I’m not a huge Flair fan but there is no way he’s going to do something like this. The idea is that Flair is losing his touch but I have a major issue believing that Flair would EVER fall for something like this. On top of that the match was barely six minutes long on a pay per view. What else could they have more important than a title match?

Eric Bischoff gives 3 Minute Warning the same speech. Ah yes: the build to the Eric vs. Stephanie feud would indeed be more important than a title match. Bischoff has brought in Rico to manage the team tonight.

Edge vs. Eddie Guerrero

Eddie is jealous of Edge being a pretty boy. Edge is all fired up to start so Eddie gets him into a chase around the ring. Back in and Edge takes over in the corner until a tornado DDT puts him right back down. The announcers bring up the concussion from Thursday so it makes sense to go after Edge’s head. At least he’s not likely to no sell a head injury on his finisher.

Eddie wraps his legs around Edge’s shoulders (picture a victory roll position but with Edge on his back) and cranks on the head for a pretty unique looking hold. We hit the more traditional front facelock for a bit until Edge gets in a hard right hand to put both guys down. They slug it out from their knees with the Canadian getting the better of it and the faceplant connecting for two.

Eddie’s hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb for an even closer near fall. The Edgecution is only broken up with a foot on the bottom rope and Edge is getting frustrated. That means a dropkick to give Eddie an opening and he takes a buckle pad off. Edge goes up top but gets knocked into the steel, setting up a sunset bomb to give Guerrero the pin.

Rating: B+. Edge is looking more and more comfortable in the ring every single time and that’s quite the thing to see. He’s turned into a near main eventer in front of our eyes and Eddie Guerrero is the perfect choice to make that work. This was the best thing on the show so far and I can’t imagine much giving it a run for its money.

HHH goes in to see Rob Van Dam and rips on him for not having enough heart. Flair is sitting next to them and HHH says Ric used to have the heart that he’s talking about. Van Dam would rather hang with Flair than HHH and that’s about it.

Long recap of 3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck because we haven’t seen the wedding video in days at this point. We see the women’s protest too as we need to make it clear that Stephanie outsmarted Bischoff and got the last laugh.

3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck

Rico gets in a kick to Chuck’s head to start so the Samoans can take over, leaving Cole to explain the stipulations AGAIN because it’s the most brilliant idea ever and you’re too stupid to get it through your head. Chuck can’t get out of the corner as Jamal kicks him in the face for two.

A chinlock keeps Chuck in trouble as this isn’t exactly lighting the world on fire so far. The very slow and rather uninteresting beating continues because no one in this match knows how to properly take over. Rosey misses a moonsault and the hot tag brings in Billy to clean house.

Naturally he’s dumb enough to ram the Samoans’ heads together and so much for Billy and Chuck being on offense. Chuck breaks up Jamal’s top rope splash and gets in a superkick, only to take one from Jamal. Billy makes the mistake of going after Rico and a double Samoan drop finishes him off, turning 3 Minute Warning into huge faces as the HLA chants begin.

Rating: D. And that’s it for the match, until Stephanie and Eric get to come out and do the real stuff later. The problem here is there’s no particular reason for these guys to hate each other as it’s all about the bosses. Bischoff pays the Samoans and Billy and Chuck are now on Stephanie’s side because they’re all from Smackdown. That’s far from enough of a reason to care but WWE doesn’t get that because apparently Eric and Stephanie are just such fascinating characters.

Bischoff has his lesbians ready to go

We recap HHH vs. Van Dam. HHH was handed the Raw World Title and Van Dam won a four way to get the shot. Since the match was set, HHH has cost Van Dam the Intercontinental Title which should mean a new champion but of course that’s just not going to happen.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is challenging. They start slowly and there’s a good chance this is going to be a long match. Rob slips away from a hammerlock and slaps HHH in the face to get the frustration going. We hit the headlock on the mat to keep HHH in trouble so he bails outside. Back in and Rob takes some water to mock the spitting pose. With the mat soaked, let’s go back to that headlock.

They trade some rollups into a bridging backslide spot but instead of doing that, let’s hit the headlock AGAIN. Rob finally hits a kick to put HHH on the floor and that means a big flip dive but the champ gets out of the way. Back in and a catapult sends Van Dam’s throat into the bottom rope, setting up a neckbreaker for two. The jumping knee gets the same and it’s time for that freaking sleeper.

Rob escapes (because it’s just a sleeper) and comes back with his usual, including a slingshot dive to graze HHH. Some kicks set up the ref bump and the Pedigree is countered into a slingshot. Rob scores with the Five Star but there’s no ref, allowing HHH to get the sledgehammer. Van Dam kicks it into his face, drawing out Flair for the SHOCKING heel turn, including a sledgehammer shot to keep the title on HHH.

Rating: D+. This was your standard HHH match of the time: long, dull and with a pretty obvious ending. I mean, I know all of the signs pointed to Van Dam winning the title here but that might mean HHH isn’t the most important wrestler in the world. You know, with his manly sleeper and all that. The Flair stuff was obvious too as you don’t have someone come out for anything but a heel turn. Nothing to see here but that’s what you have to expect in this era.

D’Lo Brown and Kidman talk about what just happened when an actor from the Young and the Restless comes up for a completely worthless cameo. Dawn Marie comes up to take him away. It really is as random as it sounds.

Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly

Molly is defending and they trade wristlocks to start. Trish stops a charge in the corner as Lawler wants to take Molly’s virginity. They head outside for nothing interesting and it’s time for some choking back inside. As expected, Lawler moves right back to HLA because he hasn’t talked about it in all of five minutes. Trish gets in her first major offense with the bulldog followed by the Chuck Kick for two. Molly comes right back by putting Trish in the Tree of Woe for a handspring crash, only to get caught in another bulldog to give Trish the title in a very sudden ending.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this aside from filling in some time? It was a short match and didn’t go anywhere because the Women’s Title hasn’t meant anything in a LONG time. Trish was definitely one of the best in the division at this point but when you have Torrie and Nidia getting so much TV time, this doesn’t exactly mean anything.

The lesbians celebrate with 3 Minute Warning and Rico. Bischoff will pay for their night out. Why would the LESBIANS be interested in this? Actually never mind as Eric holds two of them back for later.

We recap Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle which is basically an argument over who is the better submission wrestler. Does Benoit vs. Angle need a story?

Kurt Angle vs. Chris Benoit

It’s an intense lockup to start with both guys falling out to the floor. Back in and they hit the mat for some technical stuff that no pairing could do better. With that going nowhere, it’s off to a long pinfall reversal sequence and you can tell the fans are respectfully silent instead of bored silent.

Angle slips out of a Crossface and bails to the floor as the fans give them a round of applause. Well deserved indeed. It’s off to a waitlock on Benoit for a bit before he sends Angle shoulder first into the post twice in a row. That’s enough defense for Kurt so he pops him over with a belly to belly.

Kurt can’t follow up though and it’s time to roll some German suplexes, only to have Angle reverse into a series of his own. Benoit starts snapping off even more of his own and Angle reverses AGAIN into his second series. Chris slips out of the Angle Slam and gets in one more with Angle getting flipped over onto his face.

Angle doesn’t stay down long though as he pops to his feet and runs the ropes for the super belly to belly. The ankle lock is reversed into a tombstone shoulder breaker of all things and Benoit hits the Swan Dive for a delayed two. The Crossface goes on but Kurt grabs the ankle lock while still in the hold for the break. How smart is this guy?

Angle gets the regular ankle lock before switching over to a Crossface on Benoit. Ever the villain, Kurt puts the rope away with his boot and gets yelled at by the referee, allowing Benoit to break the hold. One more rollup with Benoit’s feet going on the ropes for the surprise pin.

Rating: A-. Awesome stuff here and a nice callback to Wrestlemania XVII with Angle using the tights to pin Benoit after a submission battle. Benoit cheating to win makes sense as he’s doing the same thing Angle was doing earlier so it’s not exactly the dirtiest move in the world. It’s not like these two having a great match is any surprise but it’s one of their better efforts.

Lesnar isn’t worried about Undertaker.

It’s HLA time with Bischoff bringing out the lesbians. He’s scoured the country to find the best choice and introduces the ladies as Peaches and Cream. The girls give us a preview but Bischoff cuts them off before they can kiss. Bischoff brings Stephanie out and Lawler of course points out how hot she is (to be fair, he’s not wrong).

The girls take their tops off and remove Stephanie’s jacket for her as Lawler is on the verge of losing it. They rub Stephanie’s back but Eric has had it with the foreplay and tells them to get this going. Actually never mind as Bischoff has changed his mind and sends the lesbians away. He’s found a special lesbian for Stephanie and it’s……Rikishi in drag, which Bischoff somehow doesn’t see.

Bischoff calls “her” Hildegard and says she’s done prison time. Stephanie gets into the kissing and of course it’s Rikishi, which is actually treated as a surprise. A superkick puts Eric into the corner and for some reason Rikishi is wearing a bra. Bischoff gets the Stinkface as I try to figure something out: in theory, Stephanie put Rikishi up to this (or Rikishi is a cross dresser) so how complicated was this plan (and why were the original lesbians there in the first place other than tormenting the crowd) and how blind is Bischoff?

Like, did Stephanie figure out that Bischoff had this whole thing set up and then get Rikishi to do this as a backup plan? And Bischoff just saw the massive Samoan “woman” and had NO QUESTIONS ABOUT THIS??? Anyway Rikishi and Stephanie dance as Cole says “Stephanie rocks!” and Tazz says this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen.

The other major problem here: even though Stephanie’s team lost, she gets her revenge in all of an hour and a half. This is after she had the wedding go bad and got revenge for that four days later on the next show. If WWE wants her to be this major hero who stands up for the people, it might help if she was in distress for more than a week at one point or another. She’s always got the answer to everything, making it feel more like a sitcom than a show I’m supposed to believe is real.

We recap Undertaker vs. Lesnar with the music video treatment. Basically Undertaker has been around forever but has never faced anything like this. Lesnar is undefeated but never gotten beaten up before.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Undertaker

Lesnar is defending. We start with the big power lockup with Undertaker shoving Lesnar all the way out to the floor. It happens again so Lesnar kicks the steps while Heyman does some coaching. Back in and Brock starts kicking him into the corner, only to get caught with Old School.

Heyman gets kicked off the apron but the distraction lets Lesnar drive Undertaker into the corner to take over. A hard powerslam stays on Undertaker’s ribs and it’s off to a waistlock to keep up the focused attack. Undertaker sends him outside but Heyman is right there with the distraction so Lesnar can get in a belt shot to take over again, drawing some blood in the process. Back in and Undertaker boots him in the face twice in a row for two straight near falls.

We get a ref bump and OF COURSE Undertaker hits the chokeslam a second later for no count. Cue Matt Hardy to take a quick Last Ride but Brock scores with the spinebuster for two. The ref gets bumped a second time (now that’s just excessive) so Heyman throws in a chair which is kicked straight into Lesnar’s face. Two big chair shots to the head put Lesnar on the floor as Brock is busted too. Back in and both finishers are countered so they brawl into the corner, giving us a third ref bump (same ref too) for the REALLY lame double DQ.

Rating: D. There was a good power brawl buried underneath the ref bumps, the chair and the pretty worthless Matt Hardy cameo. Then there’s the ending, which doesn’t do anyone any favors and is clearly only there because Undertaker didn’t want to do the job. Just too much stuff messing up what should have been an F5 for the pin but that’s not how Undertaker rolls around here.

Undertaker throws him through the set to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. There’s good and bad stuff on here but unfortunately the bad stuff is also the important stuff and that’s not something you can get around. The two World Title matches were both big misses and that’s too much for a great Benoit vs. Angle match and a strong Eddie vs. Edge match to overcome, especially when you add in the whole Stephanie vs. Eric thing.

Like it or not, that’s the biggest story in the company right now: the battling general managers. They’re supposed to be fighting over brand supremacy but no one has given us a reason to care about either brand in particular. Then again that never stopped anyone from running with an idea before and it seems that we’re going to be stuck with this one for a good while to come. It’s all about the big angle and if people don’t like it, that’s just too bad. There’s enough strong stuff on here but it really needs some major editing and re-writes to make it a good show.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Smackdown
Date: September 19, 2002
Location: World Arena, Colorado Springs, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Unforgiven and that means we’ll be getting some more of Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. At the same time though, you can really see the Smackdown Six being built up before our eyes and that’s nothing but good. If we can get a few ten minute matches with some outstanding action here and there in between the Eric Bischoff vs. Stephanie McMahon nonsense, everything should be fine. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap of the wedding because that’s the top story at the moment since it involves the feuding bosses.

Opening sequence.

Rey Mysterio/Torrie Wilson vs. Nidia/Jamie Noble

Torrie looks outstanding here, as in even moreso than usual. Nidia slaps her in the face to start and gets caught in a neckbreaker (normally Torrie’s finisher) for two. It’s off to Jamie to take Torrie to the mat but she brings Rey in almost immediately. Rey gets planted on his face but gets in the sitout bulldog for two. Nidia keeps validating her employment by distracting Rey so Noble can get in a hard clothesline. Everything breaks down and Torrie gives Nidia a Bronco Buster for the pop of the match. Noble offers to take one of his own so of course it’s Rey doing it instead. The 619 into a Code Red puts Noble away.

Rating: C. I know the women weren’t exactly the best in the world at this point but the ending accomplished its goal and the Bronco Buster spot was all it needed to be. I’ll gladly take this over the champion getting pinned all over again. To be fair though I had almost forgotten that Noble was champion in the first place. Also, Mysterio goes from a classic opener against Kurt Angle at Summerslam and can’t even get on Unforgiven?

D-Von yells at Stephanie about Batista so Stephanie collects his balls. Paul Heyman comes in and says he’s brought in some off duty police officers to guard Lesnar. They might not be necessary though as Undertaker had to take his wife Sara to the hospital for false labor. He’s on his way here though and Heyman is distraught. Lesnar seems pleased though.

Here’s Stephanie in the arena because we haven’t seen her recently enough. You don’t screw with McMahons because they always get even in the end. That means a clip of the women’s protest on Monday and another to set up 3 Minute Warning vs. Billy and Chuck on Sunday. As for the stipulations, she’ll address those when she and Bischoff have a face to face video chat later tonight (OF COURSE there’s a big segment for that story later) but for now, here are Billy and Chuck.

Billy says it’s time to set the record straight….so to speak. Maybe he could keep teaming with Chuck or maybe he could work on a singles career. Chuck: “So you’re saying you go both ways?” Cue Kurt Angle of all people to say this sounds like a bad episode of Three’s Company.

Angle made some publicity of his own back in 1996 and he didn’t do it by making out with Carl Lewis. Kurt insists that he’s not gay and he has no problem with anyone who is because gays love him. Angle: “I’m freaking adorable!” A tag match is made for later and Stephanie gives Angle Chris Benoit as a partner. Angle is so freaked out that he keeps making unintentional gay jokes, such as that being a hard one to swallow. More greatness from Angle.

Security won’t come out to the ring with Lesnar because they weren’t hired to work in the arena.

Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena

Non-title and something that would be a bit different today. Like Cena would be wearing jean shorts while Lesnar squashed him. Lesnar forearms him in the back of the head to start and hits the first overhead belly to belly. Brock starts pounding him in the back and gets two off a delayed vertical suplex. A waistlock has Cena in even more trouble as the very slow pace continues. Brock stays on the ribs for a bit longer, shrugs off the comeback, and finishes with the F5.

Rating: D. What the heck happened to Cena? He was the hottest rookie around for a long time (possibly even hotter than Brock, or at least showing more fire) and now I can’t even remember the last time he won a match. It doesn’t help that he never really had a character so there wasn’t exactly anywhere for him to go. Lesnar vs. Undertaker still isn’t looking interesting but at least they’re doing something with the feud to try and get it somewhere.

Video on Rikishi, who was shot back in 1986. Ok then.

Video on Undertaker, who really doesn’t need a video package. At least it’s set to Adrenaline by Gavin Rossdale, which I’ve always liked.

Eddie Guerrero wants revenge on Edge for the Stinkface. If that means more Edge vs. Eddie, I guess I can live with it.

Eddie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero vs. Edge/Rikishi

Chavo slaps Rikishi to start in what is apparently a show of disrespect, because Rikishi is someone to be respected all of a sudden. Edge comes in to take over without much effort but gets sent to the floor where he has to avoid a chair shot from Eddie. The cousins start in on the back and of course we get some classic cheating because that’s what Guerreros do.

Edge gets in a powerslam but Eddie cheap shots Rikishi to prevent the hot tag. I love how so many of those spots have been used for the better part of twenty years and simply do not get old. A tornado DDT is broken up and the hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house. We get the double crush in the corner but only Chavo takes the Stinkface. Eddie bails to the floor so Chavo hits Rikishi with a TV camera for the pin.

Rating: C-. Rikishi is fine for the hot tag stuff but I still don’t see why he’s in this spot and the story about him being shot really didn’t do much to get him to another level. Eddie vs. Edge is still good and the idea of Eddie not liking him due to Edge being considered a pretty boy is more than fine.

Post match Eddie chairs Edge in the face to cut him open.

It’s time for the Stephanie vs. Bischoff sitdown interview with Stephanie getting to be all smug over kicking Eric low on Monday. Bischoff laughs it off and loves the idea of Stephanie having to perform HLA if Billy and Chuck lose on Sunday. Stephanie accepts and says she’s not even worried about Billy and Chuck losing (What confidence!) because she might just enjoy HLA. In other words, no matter what happens, Stephanie doesn’t lose. Well of course she doesn’t.

Matt Hardy vs. The Hurricane

Hurricane is just in tights here with no sleeveless shirt on. Matt has something to say before the match but a WE WANT JEFF chant cuts him off. A quick rollup gives Matt two and the Jeff chants throw him off again. Hurricane grabs a victory roll for his own two and does his pose, earning himself a right hand to the jaw. The announcers try to figure out what Matt Hardy Version I means as Hurricane can’t hit the chokeslam.

A Ricochet gets two on Hurricane as the fans switch over to wanting Lita. Hurricane’s neckbreaker drops Matt and now the announcers want Undertaker to shot up and pummel Hardy. The Shining Wizard gets two on Matt as this is WAY better than I was expecting. Matt grabs a quick Side Effect and sneaks in a low blow to set up the Twist of Fate for the pin.

Rating: B-. It’s amazing what happens when you let these North Carolina guys get together. This was a really fun match with both guys trading good looking moves until Matt cheated to win. It made for some entertaining stuff and while the announcers got annoying (as expected), that’s what you can expect from Smackdown.

Heyman thinks Undertaker is waiting on Lesnar so they’re not leaving.

We run down Sunday’s card and it’s still not very interesting.

Billy and Chuck vs. Kurt Angle/Chris Benoit

Angle and Benoit don’t get along. Billy and Benoit start things off but Chris chops Angle for a tag. The team that actually gets along takes over on Kurt and Benoit finds this very amusing. Billy’s tilt-a-whirl slam gets two but Billy poses a bit too much, allowing Benoit to get in a cheap shot. It’s off to Benoit for the rolling German suplexes as this really isn’t the way you want to treat your new top face tag team.

Billy finally avoids a charge from Benoit and gives Kurt the One and Only, setting up the hot tag. Chuck cleans as much house as Chuck Palumbo is going to be able to do before getting caught in the ankle lock. That’s not cool with Benoit who throws Angle away so he can put Chuck in the Crossface. Billy makes the save, meaning Chuck should have gotten beaten twice. Chuck gets in a superkick on Benoit for the pin.

Rating: D+. What the heck was that? I mean, Billy and Chuck are going into the semi-main event at Unforgiven (it’s gotten WAY more hype than anything other than the two World Title matches and you could easily argue it’s beaten both of those) and this is the best you can do for them? They couldn’t beat up some thrown together team for their big face debut? Speaking of them being faces, why is that the case? Their big moment was admitting they were lying to the fans and then they stand up for Stephanie or whatever and now they’re fan favorites? That’s really not impressive.

Benoit and Angle trade submissions post match, making Billy and Chuck look even more worthless.

Undertaker arrives with ten minutes left in the show.

Here’s Undertaker to the ring for the last minute hard sell. He calls Lesnar out and gets his wish in a hurry with Heyman not being able to hold him back. Undertaker starts slugging away as Heyman calls out the troops. That means Matt Hardy, who takes the beating on Lesnar’s behalf. Undertaker chases after Lesnar, who has been arrested and put into protective custody. What a lame ending.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a good show on its own but a pretty horrible go home show. To be fair though that’s because Unforgiven is a miserable pay per view and really doesn’t need to exist at this point. Lesnar vs. Undertaker isn’t going to be worth seeing and the build is showing it more every week. There was enough good wrestling tonight to make the show work but the pay per view just isn’t interesting and there’s no way around it.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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What is that, four in ten days or so?  Koloff is most famous for taking the WWWF World Title away from Bruno Sammartino, ending the legendary seven year reign.  He went on to wrestle around the world, including some time down in the Crockett promotion.

Of course it’s rather sad but he’s been in bad health for years so this isn’t the biggest shock.  That green tongue still freaks me out.

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 16, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The big story coming out of last week is the full on split of the Wolves as Davey Richards cost Eddie Edwards his last shot at the TNA World Title. While you can probably guess the reason behind the split, it should be interesting to hear the actual explanation. Other than that we also have the saga of Braxton Sutter and company which seems to be setting up a wedding. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Expedition of Gold, which will take the Hardys to Tijuana, Mexico this week.

Video on Davey turning on Eddie.

Moose/Brandi Rhodes vs. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary

I know I say it every time she’s out but Brandi is a very beautiful woman. Moose is wrestling in a shirt for some reason here. The guys get things going with Steve bouncing off Moose multiple times. Rosemary offers a distraction so Steve can take over, which must last for a good fifteen seconds. Abyss’ interference does a bit better and everything breaks down with Decay taking over.

Moose will have none of that and LAUNCHES Steve onto Abyss at ringside. Rosemary jumps onto Moose’s back and it’s time for Brandi’s still awkward chops (yeah they’re still awkward but she’s only had a few months of ring time and she’s clearly trying as hard as she can). A middle rope missile dropkick puts Rosemary down as Pope still tries to get Mini-Moose over as a nickname. The matching pump punches have Decay in trouble and stereo Game Changers are enough for the double pin at 5:43.

Rating: C-. For someone who hasn’t even been in the ring for a year, Brandi already looks more comfortable than a lot of the Diva era wrestlers. Like, she’s already miles better than Torrie Wilson or the Kat or anyone like that, which may not sound like much but it suggests that she has a bright future if she wants to stay in the ring. I’m sure we’ll get to the “where’s Cody” stuff later on and that’s where we get the feud out of this.

Eddie Edwards isn’t here to talk because he wants to hurt Davey.

Moose tells Brandi he’s there for her whenever she needs. There was no hint of anything romantic in the way he said it.

We look back at the end of last week’s show.

Eddie calls out Davey but he gets Angelina Love instead, saying there’s no Davey until she says so. Basically Eddie abandoned Davey while he was recovering from knee surgery and forgot about his “brother”. Love says Eddie can have Davey now and introduces the American Wolf (new nickname) but Eddie cuts her off and says to let go of her husband’s balls.

Davey grabs the mic and goes on a rant about how he created the team and the Wolves’ Nation. Richards offers him a chance to leave but Eddie goes straight up the aisle to start the brawl. Security breaks it up so Eddie says this isn’t over as Davey tries to crawl in the ring. We get a challenge for a street fight later tonight and Davey seems more than game.

Ok….that was great. I was really, REALLY worried about this feud when I first heard about it because their ROH feud was such a disaster but this already fixed the major problem of the ROH version: there’s a reason for them to hate each other. The previous one was a bunch of “I respect you but I want Dan Severn to train me because this is suddenly an MMA promotion” and I have no idea why that’s supposed to entertain me. This felt like two guys who wanted to kill each other and they got to the point immediately. I can easily go for something like that.

Mike Bennett has a bachelor party for Braxton Sutter, who is miserable. It’s basically a frat party with people all around thirty years old and Sutter wants to leave.

It’s off to Tijuana where the Hardys are challenging for the Mexican Tag Team Championships of the World. Matt and Jeff demand to speak to the promoter and yell in Spanish at a luchador who speaks English. Konnan, the promotion’s owner, wants to make money off their appearance.

Now we have Laurel Van Ness’ bachelorette party with Allie having st up a very sweet room with streamers, balloons and confetti everywhere. Maria yells at her for making it look like a children’s party. Allie is devastated when she hears about how it’s for Laurel and Braxton’s wedding.

Kingston vs. Jesse Godderz

Kingston chops away to start and shrugs off a dropkick by raking the eyes. We hit the choking on the middle rope before Jesse makes his comeback with clotheslines and a Blockbuster for two. An STO puts Jesse down for the same but he nails a quick enziguri. Godderz hits a springboard….I guess we’ll say forearm for the pin at 4:11.

Rating: D+. Nothing special here and again I don’t get the idea of having the DCC losing so often. This was a completely clean pinfall loss to Jesse Godderz of all people and that’s a really bad sign. I can’t even think of a signature win for them at this point and that’s horrible after they debuted so strong.

The DCC comes out post match but Jesse is smart enough to bail.

The bachelor party continues to be horrible with an overweight man crushing the drug dealer.

Allie tries to liven the party up with noisemakers but Maria yells at her again. Sienna just wants to drink.

Tyrus has taken over Fact of Life and brings out someone who was never his friend: Eli Drake, whose arm is in a sling. Drake can’t sit at the desk so the sling comes off in a hurry. Eli yells at Tyrus for making decisions that he didn’t approve of and not watching his back like Tyrus is supposed to do. No one owns Tyrus and a match is made for next week.

Back in Tijuana (this show has more scene cuts than a Total Divas episode), Konnan says he can’t pay the Hardys but his messenger says they don’t want money. The Hardys come in to see Konnan and agree to wrestle for the titles for no pay. Matt: “Money is for marks.” The Hardys leave and Konnan tells the staff to start making and selling as much bootleg Hardy merchandise as they can.

Maria yells at Allie for the amount of pink at the party. Allie can be a ring bearer next week and gets frosting thrown in her face. The ladies take the gifts (including lingerie) and leave.

We get the match from Tijuana with the Hardys challenging Super Crazy and Psicosis for the Crash Tag Team Titles. While the match is going on, the promotion’s women hit on Vanguard I because the women of this promotion aren’t all that smart. We only see clips of the match with the Hardys hitting all their signature stuff to win with a Swanton to Crazy. Of note: the referee was blurred out because he works for Lucha Underground, who threatened legal action against TNA if they showed one of their contracted workers.

After the match, the Hardys teleport back to North Carolina before Konnan and company can stop them. Konnan: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY DISAPPEARED???” Back in North Carolina, the Hardys literally throw the belts into a bag and go off to win the Mid-Atlantic Tag Team Titles next week. Hint: you might not want to show us the celebration after winning the belts.

Video on Brooke returning to TNA and being targeted by the Lady Squad.

Sienna vs. Brooke

Maria offers an early distraction to start and Sienna takes over with forearms and a spinebuster. Brooke gets in some forearms of her own as Madison Rayne explains why Maria is the most amazing Knockout ever. Another Maria distraction lets Sienna get in a running clothesline as Josh talks about how you can get a Louisville Slugger baseball bat signed by Jeff Hardy. Maria chokes on the rope and offers a distraction so Sienna can choke as well. As Maria talks about how the Knockouts show their midsections, Brooke fights off the double teaming and rolls Sienna up for the pin at 5:55.

Rating: D+. The wrestling was fine but WOW Madison Rayne is one of the most annoying commentators I’ve ever heard. She doesn’t really have a character and isn’t a heel or a face but rather just a woman talking a lot. I’m not sure how that’s supposed to add anything to the match but I’m sure it’s completely necessary.

One of Bennett’s friends wants to put in an adult DVD but Bennett says it’s time for something special. That would be a stripper who sounds like she’s smoked five packs a day. Bennett slams the door in her face and asks where the DVD went.

Eli Drake commandeers a camera and promises to give Tyrus a beating next week. As usual, this is one of the best things on the show.

Here’s Lashley for a chat. Lashley says it doesn’t matter if it’s wrestling or MMA because no one can hang with him. This brings out UFC fighter (currently facing a potential suspension for steroids) and professional wrestler Josh Barnett to give him a lecture about respecting the title. Lashley says this is his ring but has to escape an armbar. A challenge is issued but Barnett wants the title on the line. Bobby says he’ll fight anywhere anytime and the challenge is accepted for some point in the future. I get the idea they’re going for here but Barnett was really, really awkward on the mic.

Everyone has passed out at the bachelor party but Braxton is sitting there twirling his thumbs. He slowly gets up and puts the stripper on Mike’s lap for a quick picture. He then calls Maria and leaves the phone on the two of them before leaving.

Eddie Edwards vs. Davey Richards

Street fight with a full hour and a half of build. Angelina does Davey’s entrance, allowing him to jump Eddie from behind. There are weapons ready at ringside and Davey keeps beating him down as we take an early break. Back with Davey crushing Eddie’s hand with a chair but Edwards fights back anyway. Eddie and Angelina both have chairs but the distraction lets Davey swing a chair into Eddie’s for a knockdown.

Cue Eddie’s wife Alisha…who gets dropped with a single forearm. Angelina handcuffs her to the ropes but Eddie covers her up and takes the chair shots for her. Davey unloads on him with the chair while Angelina makes Alisha watch. There’s no referee as Eddie gets a Conchairto so Angelina counts the pin for a no contest at around 13:30.

Rating: B-. This was a good brawl while it lasted and I’m VERY glad they didn’t have a definitive winner. The ending was the important part and will keep this going for a long time as the women add another dynamic to the whole thing. I had a lot more fun with this than I was expecting and that’s the best possible outcome.

A promo for next week’s Expedition of Gold wraps us up.

Overall Rating: C. That might be the oddest episode of Impact I’ve ever seen. There wasn’t a big focus on wrestling here but rather a lot of vignettes from the two parties, plus all the Mexico stuff. Outside of the main event, the wrestling we did see ranged from mostly boring to forgettable, but Davey vs. Eddie looks like it has serious potential.

Above all else, I appreciated the idea of TNA trying to do something. The wedding story could be good (assuming Sutter gets to win some matches later on) and Lashley FINALLY has some fresh blood, even if Barnett is hardly a household name and his promo was just a step above a disaster. They’re doing something though and that’s what matters more than anything after a long stretch of very dull and boring shows. This kept my attention, but I need more stuff actually between the bells rather than all the stuff setting up future matches and stories. Still though, it’s a step up.

Results

Brandi/Moose b. Crazzy Steve/Rosemary – Double Game Changers

Jesse Godderz b. Kingston – STO

Brooke b. Sienna – Rollup

Davey Richards vs. Eddie Edwards went to a no contest

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

205 Live
Date: February 14, 2017
Location: Honda Center, Anaheim, California
Commentators: Austin Aries, Corey Graves, Mauro Ranallo

With Fastlane starting to get close, we have a Cruiserweight Title match set for the pay per view. It’s going to be a battle of England with champion Neville defending against Gentleman Jack Gallagher, who probably won’t be much of a threat to the title but at least the match should be fun. Let’s get to it.

We recap last week’s Fatal Five Way where Gallagher became the new #1 contender.

Opening sequence.

The announcers preview tonight’s show.

Noam Dar vs. Rich Swann

Before the match, Swann says it’s an important night because he’s back on the show and because it’s Valentine’s Day. Since it’s a special night, he’s dedicating this one to Alicia Fooooooox, but she can’t handle this. Dar takes him down by the arm to start until Rich uses his flips to speed things up. A dropkick puts Noam on the floor for some treatment from Fox so Rich does some dancing.

The treatment seems to work just fine as Dar kicks away to take over, earning some loud cheering from Fox. One heck of a kick to the jaw drops Dar but he ducks an enziguri into an ankle lock. Swann has been watching his Kurt Angle Collection on the WWE Network though and flips Dar outside for the escape. Dar gets in a Northern Lariat (with Mauro referring to it as such), only to get caught in a hurricanrana. The Phoenix Splash gives Swann the pin at 7:55.

Rating: C. These two have developed incredibly well in a short time and that’s due to very different reasons. Swann’s athleticism and in ring work have gotten so much better in a hurry and the dancing has taken a backseat, which is the best thing that could have happened to him. On the other hand, Dar is a great example of someone being enhanced by having a great looking valet. They’re a good pairing and that’s what Dar needed.

We get a sitdown interview between Neville and TJ Perkins. Neville gives the closest thing to praise that he’s going to offer by talking about TJ’s win in the Cruiserweight Classic. TJ says he put the cruiserweight division on the mat but Neville wants to know what happened to Perkins when Neville showed up. Perkins wants to know what happened to Neville between NXT and WWE because he seemed to disappear. That’s too much for Neville and threats are made for later.

Video on Gran Metalik losing in the finals of the Cruiserweight Classic. He lost to the better man and is back to prove his worth.

Gran Metalik vs. Drew Gulak

Gulak shakes hands but hits a dropkick at the bell and watches Metalik botch some kind of a springboard. A Sami Zayn chop to the chest into a wristdrag off the top sends Gulak outside and thankfully there’s no botched dive to follow it up. Instead Drew slows it down with an armbar before Metalik mostly misses a double springboard…..something. Drew grabs a Gory Special and spins Metalik into a neckbreaker. Since there’s no lucha libre word for selling, Metalik pops back up and enziguris him to the floor for a springboard dive. Back in and the Metalik Driver ends Gulak at 5:26.

Rating: D+. The botches were strong with this one and it really hurt Metalik’s debut. Sometimes people try to go a little too fast for their own good and that seems to be what happened here. Of course there’s more than enough time for Metalik to fix things up as Kofi Kingston had one of the worst debuts I’ve ever seen and turned out just fine.

Brian Kendrick comes in to see Akira Tozawa and offers to be his mentor again. Kendrick talks to him like an idiot because Tozawa can’t speak English….until he says he knows what Brian is saying and doesn’t like him.

TJ Perkins vs. Neville

Non-title. Feeling out process to start with TJ taking over off a twist of the arm. Neville can’t get anywhere with the arm work so he kicks TJ in the face to escape. Perkins gets two off a springboard crossbody but gets sent outside so Neville can do some high quality sneering. A rather loud missile dropkick puts TJ down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Neville gets caught in a jumping neckbreaker, followed by a springboard DDT of all things for two.

The fans chant for Austin Aries as TJ starts in on the arm, only to have his armbar countered into a sitout powerbomb for an emphatic break. Back up and they forearm the heck out of each other until Neville has to escape the Detonation Kick. TJ escapes the superplex and one ups himself by countering the Rings of Saturn into a rollup. Neville will have none of that though and kicks him in the arm to set up the Rings of Saturn for the submission at 12:31.

Rating: B-. This was actually a bit disappointing from what you would expect these two to put together. Perkins is still one of the best performers in the division and Neville is on fire right now. For some reason though the match was just kind of there, which isn’t the performance you would expect out of these guys.

Post match Jack Gallagher comes out for the brawl and, after Neville sends William III to the floor, Gallagher headbutts him down and poses with the title to end the show. Kind of a non-gentlemanly action there, no?

Overall Rating: C-. Not the best show this week as I actually couldn’t remember most of the card aside from the main event just a little while after watching it. The Metalik match was sloppy and the opener was totally forgettable. Gallagher vs. Neville comes off like a filler feud, albeit an entertaining one. That’s not enough for a full show though and it showed badly here.

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