They’re doing a combo deal next year so I could get tickets for both shows in one shot. Also, Orlando has gone WAY better than Dallas so far as I paid 150 for a nosebleed seat at Wrestlemania XXXII and now I’ve got upper deck for XXXIII, Raw and Smackdown for 193. Indy shows/Axxess tickets upcoming.
As usual, thank you all for letting me be able to do this. You’re basically paying for this stuff (well, along with the wife needing to find something for Christmas/my birthday) and it’s the most fun I can have as a wrestling fan.
KB
Monday Night Raw – November 29, 1999: The Wedding
Monday Night Raw Date: November 29, 1999
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 13,222
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This was a special request for one specific reason: Test and Stephanie McMahon are getting married. Oh how I remember this and how I remember how you could feel the Russo effect, even though he’s already left the promotion. Test was one of Russo’s big projects and this is pretty much the high point of his career, which should tell you everything you need to know about him. Let’s get to it.
Big Show/Kane vs. Viscera/Big Boss Man
This is during Big Show’s original WWF World Title reign and it’s still odd to see this version of him with the title. Kane has Tori in his corner. Big Show and Boss Man immediately fight to the floor so we’re down to Kane vs. Viscera inside. The masked man takes over but here’s X-Pac to hit Kane in the back with a chair. An X-Factor onto the chair sets up a Viscera splash for the pin in less than two minutes.
X-Pac spits at Tori and kicks her in the head.
We recap Test proposing to Stephanie and Vince making Test’s life a nightmare as a result. This includes Stephanie taking a bump on the head and getting amnesia. She’s marrying Test anyway.
Here’s D-Generation X (heels here) for a chat. After some random music cuts off, HHH wants to talk to Vince. It’s Vince’s fault that this has escalated so much, leaving DX no choice but to get a temporary order of protection (I’m really not a fan of that idea but it keeps coming up in wrestling). We see a clip of Vince ramming DX’s limo with his own car and HHH says there will be NO wedding here tonight.
Cue Vince to laugh at the idea that DX needs protection from him. As for tonight, Vince is giving Test a special wedding present: a one on one match with HHH. The rest of DX gets a six man tag against Rock/Mankind/a partner of their choosing just because the boss is feeling generous. Finally, if anyone interferes in the wedding tonight, they’ll be fired.
Al Snow talks to Head, guaranteeing that he’ll be Rock and Mankind’s mystery partner in the six man.
Edge vs. Matt Hardy
Matt has Terri in his corner. Edge charges into an elbow in the corner to start and a bad looking tornado DDT puts the Canadian down. Since this match is going to be lucky to get two and a half minutes, Edge picks up the pace by grabbing an atomic drop. A German suplex gets two on Matt but he comes right back with a superplex for the same. The cameraman gets decked and the partners get involved, leading to a spear ending Matt.
Rating: C. These guys always have chemistry together but, as usual, you need more time than just a few minutes to get anywhere. The interference didn’t need to exist but you can see another big match coming because that’s all these guys were allowed to be. Things would get a bit better once Lita would replace Terri as well.
We go to Stephanie’s bachelorette party last night, complete with Fabulous Moolah, Mae Young and Truth or Dare. This goes nowhere, yet.
Here’s Intercontinental Champion Chyna with her bad thumb for a chat. Her thumb has been feeling better since hitting Chris Jericho in the head with a hammer (this is WAY too causal of a line) so he needs to get out here so she can finish the job. Cue Jericho to show us a clip of the hammer shot(s), which COMPLETELY ruined his Thanksgiving. He’ll be ready for their match at the pay per view but here’s Miss Kitty (Chyna’s semi-lesbian servant) to blast him with a fire extinguisher.
Back to the party where more drinking ensues.
Godfather vs. Steve Blackman
They trade kicks to start and Godfather’s spinning legdrop gets two. A bicycle kick ends Godfather in a minute.
The Acolytes and the freshly debuted Dudley Boyz play cards and insults are exchanged.
Dance time at the party.
Snow tries to get Mankind to accept him as his partner, even though Al hates Rock.
Too Cool vs. Hollys
Before the match, Hardcore makes unoriginal fat jokes about Rikishi. Crash starts, gets caught with the Worm and is finished by the Trash Compactor in less than a minute.
Rikishi gives Hardcore a Banzai Drop, followed by the required dancing.
It’s striptease time!
HHH vs. Test
Someone in a Vince McMahon mask comes out to referee. Ok then. Anyway Test slugs away to start as the announcers immediately start talking about the angle instead of the match because that’s what matters around here. The Stooges are in the back, shouting to Vince that he needs to see this. HHH comes back with right hands and his kneedrop for no cover.
Instead HHH starts pounding in right hands to the face before choking away. A sleeper slow things down even more but the referee pulls HHH off. That always good looking gutwrench powerbomb plants HHH but he escapes the pumphandle powerslam. The referee won’t count a cover off a facebuster so HHH goes for the mask. Cue Shane McMahon with a chair to HHH’s head, setting up Test’s top rope elbow for the pin.
Rating: D. I was waiting on Vince to come out and reveal Shane as the referee so well done on not going with the obvious. This is the high point of Test’s in ring career and it means a grand total of nothing because it’s a match in 1999. As usual it was all about the angle, which is only going to have something resembling a payoff because there’s so much other stuff to cover.
Someone sends Stephanie a shot, which she downs like a pro.
HHH orders the cops to arrest Vince.
We look at last week’s gravy bowl match with Miss Kitty needing the Heimlick Manuever to remove a mushroom from her throat. The EMT who saved her was attacked by Ivory and Michael Cole (looking even more like a goon than he does today) brings her out for a chat. The EMT, named B.B., was humiliated by Ivory ripping her shirt off….and wants an evening gown match. Ivory comes out with some insults before clothing is removed. This was some of the most awkward exchanges I’ve ever seen, even by WWF standards.
Patterson and Briscoe say Vince was with them the entire time.
Val Venis vs. Kurt Angle
After Val does his regular schtick (something about scoring like Shaq), Angle rips on this town for having no values. Venis jumps him from behind but is sent outside to turn this into a bit of a brawl. Back in and Angle’s sleeper is countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for two (of course). Cue the British Bulldog (feuding with Val) to break up the Money Shot, allowing Angle to get two of his own off a superplex. Bulldog hits Val in the back with a chair to set up the Olympic Slam for the pin.
Rating: D. More of the same problems here as we’re actually setting up British Bulldog vs. Val Venis for reasons that aren’t important enough to explain. At the same time, KURT ANGLE, who debuted less than a month ago, can’t even get any attention because we’re setting up some low level midcard match? Really? That’s the best they can do?
Snow is STILL trying to get on the team and keeps insulting Rock. Cue Rock of course, who can’t believe he’s talking about someone named Al. Rock’s advice is for Snow to dress up like a Los Angeles King and do a certain something with the hockey stick. Rock leaves but Snow and Foley are still on for Disneyland tomorrow. The fans were eating Rock up here.
D-Generation X vs. The Rock/Mankind/???
The mystery partner is…..Kane. Makes sense. Kane and Gunn start things off with Billy’s arm being twisted around. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Foley taking a beating while the announcers rip on literary critics for not reading his book. Back in and Gunn spits at Rock so the triple teaming can continue. Someone needs to teach DX how to do the Unicorn Stampede. A low blow gets Mankind out of trouble and everything breaks down off the hot tag to Rock. The Rock Bottom looks to finish Gunn but it’s Snow running in with a Head shot to Dogg, drawing the DQ.
Rating: D+. Slightly better here due to the charisma involved but the lack of time or really anything all that interesting brings it right back down. The Rock N Sock Connection was a funny team but they were another good example of the titles being turned into a prop instead of being used as something important.
Rock beats Snow up.
Back to the poker game where the Acolytes cheat. Bubba: “You sure ain’t the Public Enemy.”
Linda sees Stephanie in the wedding dress and nearly loses it.
Test is nervous.
Bubba bets all of his money because he has six aces in five card draw. The fight is on with the Dudleyz getting the better of things until it’s broken up.
DX is very happy about something.
It’s time for the wedding with the bridesmaids and groomsmen (various wrestlers). After Shane escorts Linda out, here’s Test to his theme music. Eh I like the song so it’s cool. Stupid but cool. Thankfully Stephanie doesn’t have music yet so she comes out to Here Comes the Bride. It’s better than that stupid rap song she has now. The minister says a blessing and two people sing a song.
The main issue here is Stephanie’s face as she doesn’t know how to convey more than about two emotions. Therefore, while it’s supposed to be the happiest day of her life, she looks like she’s about to slap everyone in the ring. We get to the all important “speak now or forever hold their peace”…..and here’s HHH.
Test puts on his mad face as HHH shows us a video. With the camera in the backseat, HHH drives his car into the Little White Chapel and of course picks the cheapest option. HHH talks to….I guess the minister and reveals the unconscious Stephanie in the front seat (Audience: “GASP!”).
HHH does a falsetto voice because THIS WEDDING PERSON IS A FREAKING MORON WHO DOESN’T REALIZE STEPHANIE IS OUT COLD and somehow they’re married. The guy who brought Stephanie the shot earlier is revealed as the cameraman as the couple drives away. Back in the arena, HHH says he’s now a member of the immediate family. That leaves one question for DAD: “How many times did we consummate the marriage?” The McMahons are in tears to end the show.
DANG. I haven’t seen this in full in a long time but my goodness this was amazing. Everyone knew HHH was going to do something big but I don’t think anyone had any idea that it could actually be this big. This is the moment that turned HHH from a top heel to THE heel and Stephanie turning on her dad the next month would make it even better. Couple that with the Rock rising up the card to fight HHH and there’s no wonder why the next year would be some of the best stuff the company has ever done.
It should also be noted that this was NOT Russo’s story. This was one of the first big stories of a guy named Chris Kreski, who had this boneheaded idea of planning stories out and slowly building towards the big payoffs instead of the tried and true method of making this nonsense up as he went with 34 different twists in a two hour show. Clearly that’s how wrestling works and not this “storytelling” thing.
Overall Rating: D. The transition between Russo and sanity wasn’t kind as there were still all the bad matches with no time (two matches lasted less than Goldberg vs. Lesnar II) and the angles all over the place didn’t help things. However, as bad as those were, the star power on the show was more than enough to carry a lot of the dead weight and that’s why 2000 was so great.
With Rock as the undisputed #1 face in the world, Mankind as the perfect comedy buffoon sidekick and HHH as the biggest heel since Vince, the sky was the limit going into the new year. Unfortunately we weren’t there yet and needed a Radical change in the midcard to really make things work. It’s still a work in progress but also the start of a great lesson of what you can do when the effort is put in. Check out the wedding in full if you’ve never seen it though as it’s some of HHH’s best work ever.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Superstars – November 25, 2016: Is It So Much To Ask?
Superstars Date: November 25, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
We’re past Survivor Series and that could mean some changes for WWE and Superstars in particular. You never know what you’re going to get on here, and by that I mean you never know what you’re going to get to go with Jinder Mahal vs. Darren Young. Those two are destined to fight for all eternity it seems so let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Sin Cara vs. Jinder Mahal
The fans seem confused as to why Mahal is here and I can’t say I disagree. Feeling out process to start with Cara’s backdrop drawing a smattering of applause. Mahal gets in a shot of his own and does that stupid peace pose. A kneedrop sets up the required chinlock and there’s that peace pose again because that’s Mahal’s entire character, if you can call it that. Mahal gets dropkicked out of the air and Cara’s Swanton Bomb is enough for the pin at 5:02.
Rating: D-. I know I’ve made this comparison time after time but it’s really annoying to see the difference between Superstars and Main Event. Every week it feels like Superstars is just having a match because they have to while Main Event comes off like they’re at least trying. It helps so much and can actually be entertaining. Why be boring when you don’t have to be?
Video on Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar.
From Monday.
Here’s Goldberg getting the full entrance to open things up. Goldberg thanks the fans for letting him be Goldberg again. He also thanks his wife and son for putting up with him and he got to be a star again one more time. Last night he ran into Stephanie McMahon who said he did have one more spear and Jackhammer in him (three spears and two Jackhammers if you’re counting) but the question is does he have one more title run left in him. The fans go NUTS over that prospect and Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble.
And from Monday again.
Raw Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Sheamus/Cesaro
New Day is defending and talk about breaking Demolition’s record for longest Tag Team Title reign in just 23 days. A powerslam gives Cesaro two on Big E. to start but Kofi escapes an early Swing attempt. Instead Cesaro sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kofi dropkicking Sheamus out of the air but getting Irish Cursed for two.
Sheamus won’t tag out though and we get some heel (I think?) miscommunication with Cesaro being knocked off the apron. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house as everything breaks down. The Warrior Splash gets two on Sheamus but he rakes Big E.’s eyes to set up White Noise for the same.
It’s back to Cesaro vs. Kofi with the Uppercut Train taking off, only to have an SOS get two. Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Cesaro Swing which goes into the Sharpshooter. The Brogue Kick puts Big E. down but Woods gets on the apron for the distraction as Kofi taps. Ever the moron, Cesaro lets the hold go and gets small packaged for the pin at 12:18.
Rating: C+. So they seem to be turning New Day heel. I think I can actually go with that as I’d much rather go there than have Cesaro and Sheamus stop them just before the record. Obviously they haven’t gotten there yet and there’s always the possibility that they’ll switch the titles with two days to go, but at least they didn’t do it here.
Bo Dallas vs. Curtis Axel
We actually get a video showing their breakup from last month. Dallas goes after the knee to start and we hit an early cravate. Back up and a few clotheslines set up a Hennig necksnap on Bo as we go to a break. We come back with the Axehole getting two on Bo as this just keeps going. Dallas blocks a suplex to the floor and hits an elevated Final Cut of all things for two. The PerfectPlex gives Curtis the same but he can’t grab a super PerfectPlex. Axel settles for a neckbreaker out of the corner, only to walk into the Roll of the Dice for the pin at 11:54.
Rating: D. This just KEPT GOING with Axel hitting and trying everything he had and getting shut down every time. I really don’t know why Dallas is getting such a strong push but it’s getting annoying to see Axel lose every single time. This show really didn’t do much for Superstars’ reputation though as it was boring to start and never got any better.
We’ll wrap it up with Raw’s main event.
Raw World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
Owens is defending and there are no disqualifications with Jericho and Reigns barred from ringside. Kevin tries to bail to the floor and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. The springboard knee to the head gets two inside thirty seconds so it’s already table time. Owens grabs the package piledriver slam and we take an early break.
Back with Owens in full control and hammering Seth in the head. A Sling Blade and suicide dive take Owens out, leading to another commercial. Back again with an exchange of strikes to the face putting both guys down. The frog splash misses Owens and it’s a Cannonball into a chair onto Rollins for a close two. Owens sets up a pair of chairs for a powerbomb and you can see the backdrop counter coming before it happens.
Another table is set up in the corner and the Buckle Bomb drives Owens through it for a very close two. They fight into the crowd with Rollins getting the better of it by throwing a trashcan at the champ. Owens tries the powerbomb but Seth grabs the balcony wall and pulls himself up for a big dive. They make it back to ringside but a masked man shoves Rollins off the barricade. Of course it’s Jericho and of course he gets a Pedigree on the floor. The Apron Powerbomb wipes Rollins out though and Owens throws him back in to retain at 23:07.
Rating: B+. Really good stuff here as it felt like a full on pay per view main event with high spots and near falls. The Jericho interference was a stretch and I’m kind of hoping it isn’t used to set up another rematch at Roadblock as I’m pretty much over Rollins vs. Owens after this one. Really good main event though and I bought Rollins as a title threat.
Overall Rating: D. Sweet goodness this show doesn’t make it easy. Well ok so I’d never call this difficult to sit through but they make no secret about the fact that the original matches are just there for the sake of requiring original matches. They don’t seem to even be trying out there and it gets really annoying to sit through week after week. Mix up the lineup or put in some kind of effort. That’s not too much to ask.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – June 27, 2002: And Now, Wrestling History
Smackdown Date: June 27, 2002
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
We’re in the big city tonight and it’s time for a new challenger to face Undertaker. I know Jeff Hardy is getting a title shot on Raw next week but it’s fairly clear that we’re getting some combination of Rock/HHH/Undertaker for the title at Vengeance. Why Smackdown is getting back to back pay per view title shots isn’t immediately clear. Let’s get to it.
Vince is in the ring and brings out Kurt Angle before leaving. Thanks for showing up boss. At least it was short though. Angle says he might as well be the poster boy for ruthless aggression and goes into his big victory speech for making Hogan tap. The wig is finally removed for good and Angle issues an open challenge to anyone he’s never faced before.
And now, wrestling history. Cole: “Tazz I know this kid. That’s John Cena.” Angle asks why Cena thinks he can come out here and face him like this. Cena says ruthless aggression and slaps the taste out of Angle’s match to start things off in a hurry. You can feel the intensity in him though of course no one knew how big he was based off those ten seconds.
Kurt Angle vs. John Cena
Cena takes him outside and keeps hammering away before a running splash gets two. Kurt picks the ankle and snaps off the first German suplex to put both guys down. A rollup gets two for Cena but Angle blasts him down with a clothesline. They’re certainly going hard out there and it’s working so far.
Cena throws him off to break a front facelock and gets two off a good looking spinebuster. The Angle Slam is countered into a DDT for some near falls (Taz: “RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! THERE IT IS!” Is that what it is? Multiple pinfall attempts?) and a powerslam gets the same. Kurt finally has enough and grabs a double chickenwing rollup for the pin.
Rating: B. For a rookie making his debut against a top star, this was a heck of a match as, save for that front facelock, they were going at top speed for the entire match. You can see something in Cena but it takes more than a five minute match to make a career. The presence is there though and that’s something you either have or you don’t.
Cena offers a handshake but Angle walks away. Kurt teases coming back for more but decides it’s not worth it. One important point here: Angle gives a big sigh of relief when he knows Cena can’t see him anymore. Little things like that sell moments like this so much more.
Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi are congratulating Cena when Undertaker comes up. The champ asks his name and extends his hand for a good job. I know I said they need to make new stars but Angle and Undertaker in less than half an hour? That’s a rub that you don’t see very often, if ever.
Tag Team Titles: Hardcore Holly/Big Valbowski vs. Billy and Chuck
Hard Val is challenging, apparently after wanting to team up for years. Why they didn’t do so isn’t explained, nor is the fact that they’re making their debut and are apparently the second best tag team on Smackdown on arrival. Chuck charges into a right hand to start but Val does the same, suggesting that he isn’t the best student in the world.
Holly gets beaten down in the corner as Cole praises Billy and Chuck for being surprisingly good. They’re two time Tag Team Champions at this point and you’re still surprised that they’re a good team? That’s slow even for Cole. A belly to back suplex is enough for the hot tag to Val but Rico offers a distraction, setting up the Fameasser to retain.
Rating: C-. Here’s the thing: Venis and Holly are fine for a veteran team and could be perfectly fine as eventual challengers if you give them some promos and a few wins over jobbers. However, since there’s no tag division to speak of, they’re thrown out there against the champs and already lose. Where are they supposed to go from here? Take the time and build a division as you have a bunch of people sitting around (Kidman, Faarooq and Rikishi come to mind) doing nothing. Make something up and give them a reason to team. The rest can take care of itself.
Here’s Torrie Wilson to preview the Divas Undressed special. She takes off her robe, walks around in lingerie and that’s it. No angle, no talking, nothing at all. At least it was short.
Tajiri likes looking at Nidia so Jamie Noble offers her to him if they win their tag match later.
HHH has been fighting through an elbow injury and is all tough but had to have it fixed in the operating room. After this deadly operation he’ll be out……FOR TWO TO THREE WEEKS!!! Taz teases he’ll be back next week actually. This got way too much time for something like that, especially when you could just say he was banged up after the pay per view or something.
Mark Henry vs. Lance Storm
Storm is here to prove how unfair American referees really are. We’re not ready yet though as we need to look at Mark Henry lifting some 100+ year old 172lb dumbbell. Henry throws him around to start but a rake of the eyes breaks up a press slam. Storm gets tossed outside and then thrown back in because Henry is really strong. Another eye rake gets Storm out of a bearhug and Henry misses a Vader Bomb, setting up the superkick to give Lance the pin. Again: Henry is STRONG. We get it already.
Here’s Undertaker for a chat. He recaps the pay per view main event and takes credit for HHH undergoing elbow surgery. Cole: “HHH is actually OUT of the hospital now!” Undertaker wants to know where Rock thinks he fits into that match and here’s a clip of Sunday’s fighting. Rock will be back here on July 11 (the FULL TIME Rock of course because he doesn’t do this part time nonsense) and Undertaker will make him pay for King of the Ring.
This brings out Kurt Angle of all people, who wants a title shot next week, assuming Undertaker gets by Jeff Hardy on Raw. Undertaker eventually agrees, even though Angle had trouble getting by a rookie tonight. That’s cool with Kurt, but he asks to touch the title. The champ actually lets him do it (moron) and is in the ankle lock almost immediately. You don’t see Undertaker acting that stupid very often and, along with that handshake earlier, suggests a face/tweener turn.
Torrie models more lingerie. Yeah she looks amazing but this is the kind of thing that makes people criticize wrestling.
Test vs. Rikishi
They take turns beating on each other in the corner but the referee won’t let Test throw a punch. Rikishi hits a superkick but gets slowed down by a low blow. The Test Drive is broken up and the ref is bumped, earning Test a DQ loss even though Rikishi shoved him into the ref. I don’t know why wrestling can never learn that no one cares about referee stories.
Test gets a Stinkface before Christian and Storm can come out for the late save.
Vince calls Hogan into his office and the boss is really, really happy about Hogan tapping out on Sunday. Hogan implies that they’ll fight one day and Vince is aghast.
Test rants about how much America sucks.
Billy Kidman/Hurricane vs. Tajiri/Jamie Noble
The bad guys take over to start and Noble has to bail from the threat of a chokeslam. That’s fine with Hurricane as he tries a double chokeslam, only to shove them both down instead. Kidman hiptosses his partner onto Noble but walks into the Tajiri elbow. The Tarantula makes things even worse but a tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb. Now the chokeslam works for Hurricane and the shooting star puts Tajiri away.
Rating: C+. They’re getting close to having something with this division as it’s slowly building after being nothing interesting for weeks on end. Add a few more names to the thing, perhaps one being the King of Mystery, and they really could have something special. Imagine that: a division works when you have distinct characters instead of people who look, act and work the same.
Torrie and Stacy Keibler are catty to each other because that’s what women in wrestling do. While wearing lingerie of course.
Torrie, now billed as appetizing, wears a third outfit. Stacy comes out in a schoolgirl outfit and gets a far bigger pop. We’re not done yet as Dawn Marie comes out as well and the blondes get in a catfight. This is so beyond a waste of time.
Chris Jericho isn’t sure what he’ll use to beat Hogan tonight but he’d love to make him tap.
Rey Mysterio is coming.
Reverend D-Von/Deacon Batista vs. Faarooq/Randy Orton
This is Batista’s in ring debut and the first time he’s been seen without a shirt. Orton does his rookie offense on D-Von to start until a dropkick of all things puts Randy down. A superplex is broken up and Orton scores with a middle rope bulldog. Faarooq comes in to clean house but the Dominator is countered with a DDT. It’s already back to Orton for a high crossbody, only to have Batista come in off the blind tag. That wicked clothesline blasts Orton and a spinebuster (with multiple camera cuts, suggesting a botch or an edit) finishes Randy in a hurry.
Rating: C-. They were smart to have Batista only come in at the end for the big power display, making this an effective debut. The thing is you have two teams right here plus the champs and Venis/Holly. These are three teams thrown together in the span of a few weeks and you’re getting close to a division. Simple ideas (gimmick/enforcer, two veterans, veteran/rookie) are fine and can grow into something else until the next big team can be put together. Why is that so complicated?
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Hulk Hogan vs. Chris Jericho
The fans are WAY into Hogan here (hardly shocking in a town like Chicago) as Jericho is backdropped to start. It’s too early for the big elbow though (always seems weird to be anything but a big leg or boot) and Jericho gets in a low blow to take over. The fans are all over Jericho so he does the hand to the ear before going way old school with the abdominal stretch.
Just in case the words ABDOMINAL STRETCH aren’t clear enough, Cole points out that it hurts your gut. Hogan’s comeback is countered as Jericho slides under the big boot (that’s what happens when you stop fighting giants) and hits the bulldog into the Lionsault for two. Jericho has had enough of the Hulking Up and hits Hogan with a chair for the DQ.
Rating: D+. Not the worst match in the world here with Jericho doing the work and letting Hogan do all of his spots. This isn’t a case of Hogan showing anyone up and the match was actually fine, all things considered. There’s value in Hogan giving people rubs like this, but he can only do it for so long before it stops mattering.
Jericho loads up a Conchairto the arm but his own countdown comes up. Cue the returning Edge (who Cole can’t recognize from behind despite him having a pretty easy shape to recognize) for the save and beatdown. Posing ends the show.
Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was up and down here but this was ALL about the new talent. That might not always mean new people but it did a lot of good for setting things up for the future. There are skeletons of tag and cruiserweight divisions though that’s not what matters the most.
Tonight we saw a focus on John Cena, Batista and Randy Orton with Rey Mysterio debuting soon. While none of them are stars yet, those four are fresh ideas who could mean something to the company, which isn’t what you get around here. They’re actually setting something up and that’s what matters more than anything else. I liked the show a lot and there’s stuff I want to see instead of all the nonsense that keeps going on around here for so long. Good show here (with the least Vince in a LONG time) and a lot of hope for the future.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Lucha Underground – November 23, 2016: They’re Better Than This
Lucha Underground Date: November 23, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
We’re in a new stretch for Lucha Underground as Sexy Star dethroned the Monster Matanza last week and became the new Lucha Underground Champion. However there’s no rest for the new champ as Johnny Mundo is cashing in his Gift of the Gods Title to get a shot at Star tonight. Let’s get to it.
Of course we open with a recap of Aztec Warfare. Also covered is the Black Lotus Tribe vs. Pentagon Dark and the Gift of the Gods Title being cashed in.
The White Rabbit Tribe is here.
Trios Titles: Rabbit Tribe vs. Fenix/Drago/Aerostar
The Rabbit Tribe is Paul London, Mala Suerte (Bad Luck) and Saltador (guy in a checker suit). Basically they’re all tripped out on drugs and acting weird. They’re also challenging because they’re making their debut here and are neither fabulous nor kangaroos. It’s a brawl to start as Striker says London’s reputation got the team this early title shot. London does a big backwards dive onto the champs as Vampiro suggests getting Striker high for a trip down the rabbit hole.
Back in and Suerte tells his partners to back Fenix up before hopping off the top and running across the ring for a dropkick. Fenix kicks Suerte in the head but crawls over to the wrong corner as the Rabbits changed places. The champs finally get tired of these antics and hit stereo kicks to the Rabbits’ heads. They unleash the dives as we see Kobra Moon watching from the top of Dario’s office. Back in and Fenix rolls Saltador up to retain at 5:43.
Rating: C-. Just in case the 1938 different references from the announcers didn’t make it clear, the Rabbits are all on drugs and tripping out. I can go for some characters with simple concepts but I can’t handle these characters where they beat you over the head with their gimmick time after time. At least they didn’t get the titles in their debut.
Moon says she’ll make Drago bow.
The Mack congratulates Sexy Star on her win but she politely declines his offer to help against the Worldwide Underground. See, she’s all independent and has to prove that she’s awesome because of bullying or something.
Dante Fox vs. Killshot
I would have expected this to come a lot later. They talk a lot of trash to start with Killshot not wanting to do this. He’s willing to defend himself though and it’s a dropkick to put Dante down. A springboard dropkick sends Killshot to the floor and that means a suicide dive. Fox shows off his skills with a shooting star off the apron, only to have Killshot grab a neckbreaker from the apron to the floor.
Back in and the slug it out, which seems to freak Fox out. Fox tries another roll but flips right into a cutter to freak the crowd out. A cross armbreaker is countered and Fox puts him on the top, only to get caught in a Death Valley Driver onto the apron for a sick crash. Selling really isn’t a thing around here though as Killshot comes back with something like an inverted fisherman’s buster for the pin at 8:15.
Rating: C+. One guy hits the other really hard and then reverse it. Fox is a fun guy and should fit right in around here, much like so many other people who debut with a backstory and just happen to be a fully trained wrestler. Killshot is still one of the better performers in Lucha Underground and this was no exception. He’ll be fine after a loss like this.
Johnny Mundo comes in to see Dario and tells him that Angelico has been barred from the building via a restraining order.
After a break, Dario comes back into his office and runs into Black Lotus. She wants Pentagon Dark and gets her wish…..in a gauntlet match, including the rest of the women who attacked Dark last week.
Lucha Underground Title: Sexy Star vs. Johnny Mundo
Star is defending as Johnny is cashing in the Gift of the Gods Title, meaning it’s officially vacant. Johnny takes her down into a chinlock to start and kicks away for two. A rollup gets two for the champ but she gets caught in something like a YES Lock. Mundo really doesn’t seem to be trying here as Star is way beneath him.
Johnny hammers away and puts her in the Tree of Woe for a bit to keep up the destruction. The comeback is knocked away with ease but Star hits a few dropkicks for two. A neckbreaker cuts Star off again though and we hit the chinlock. Star finally gets in a Backstabber for two but a Russian legsweep puts Johnny in control again.
The same comeback and cutoff kills off another minute or so as this is getting boring in a hurry. Johnny misses a baseball slide and gets kicked into the barricade for more false hope. Star stomps away until Johnny steals a fan’s crutch. The champ goes over to check on the fan and gets laid out with a brass knuckles shot. Back in and the End of the World changes the title at 11:12.
Rating: D. What a boring match. Star is the most transitional champion in the history of transitional champions and that whole standing up to the bullies idea went less than nowhere. Mundo is a better choice as champion but sweet goodness could they have made this any less interesting? Star never had a chance and they didn’t even try to hide it. Really disappointing here but that was the case when Star won the title in the first place.
The fan was Taya of course and the Worldwide Underground celebrates to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. I know it doesn’t sound right to say this but putting the title on Star, even for a week, was a big setback. It was a great last few minutes of Aztec Warfare but egads that was the end of the line for her usefulness on top of the promotion. I stopped caring about her as soon as the title match was announced and the main event made that very clear. Fox vs. Killshot is good but it’s the lone bright spot here. Maybe this was just a necessary evil but I really didn’t care about anything on here as the energy was just gone.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Main Event – November 22, 2016: Please Let It Be Here To Stay
Main Event Date: November 22, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga
I’m hoping that being past Survivor Series isn’t going to change this show’s rather entertaining run. A lot of acts weren’t on Smackdown this week so it should be interesting to see what we get for original content. The tag teams almost all performed on the big show, which doesn’t leave me with the best options. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We open with….Cathy Kelly in the studios. This isn’t going to be the normal Main Event is it?
We see the last few minutes of Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens on Monday.
Charlotte is thankful for all her peasants.
With the Gobbledy Gooker walking behind Kelly, she throws us to a clip from the Thanksgiving Smackdown from November 23, 2000 with William Regal ripping on Thanksgiving for being everything wrong with America. Cue the Rock, who is back home here in Fort Lauderdale. Rock sees nothing wrong with unbuttoning your pants after eating Thanksgiving dinner and thinks Regal is something censored. After telling Regal that it doesn’t matter if he’s being besmirched, Rock offers to stick a drumstick in a certain place to wrap this up. This was basically “I’m the Rock and I’m awesome.”
Package on Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg.
Here’s Goldberg’s opening speech from Monday.
Here’s Goldberg getting the full entrance to open things up. Goldberg thanks the fans for letting him be Goldberg again. He also thanks his wife and son for putting up with him and he got to be a star again one more time. Last night he ran into Stephanie McMahon who said he did have one more spear and Jackhammer in him (three spears and two Jackhammers if you’re counting) but the question is does he have one more title run left in him. The fans go NUTS over that prospect and Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble.
Bayley is thankful for the hugs, her best friend Sasha Banks, being on Raw, her New Day sweater and all the fans. She’s just so freaking adorable.
Back to Prime Time Wrestling for Thanksgiving 1986 with Gorilla Monsoon on his own….and here’s Bobby Heenan as a pilgrim. Heenan, with a graphic listing him as John Smith, talks about planning a Thanksgiving party but Gorilla brings in a turkey named Tommy. Bobby (er…John) is quickly chased off.
Video on the debut of the Gobbledy Gooker, which I believe first aired on an episode of Countdown. After the video, Cathy keeps talking about the Gooker and you can still see him in the control room behind her.
Video on various Thanksgiving feasts over the years and their associated food fights.
Alexa Bliss vs. Naomi
Bliss gets in her face to start and can’t believe Naomi would shove her down. That earns her another takedown and Naomi grabs a front facelock. Bliss gets knocked to the floor and kicked in the face, only to have a trip take Naomi down as we take a break. Back with Bliss standing on the yellow/green hair before stomping away for a bit.
The moonsault double knees get two and we get Alexa’s crazy eyes. Alexa runs into some boots in the corner and we get the high speed comeback. Those dancing kicks set up a high crossbody for two on Bliss but she sends Naomi very hard into the buckle. A DDT sets up Twisted Bliss for the pin at 12:05.
Rating: C-. The crowd wasn’t all that interested but this was actually taped after Smackdown went off the air so there’s a good chance that a lot of the fans were leaving. I’d be curious to see if that’s the case going forward with the impending debut of 205 Live. Bliss is great at being a villain and has a ton of charisma but there’s only so much you can do in front of an uninterested crowd.
Overall Rating: B. I really, really hope this is how Main Event starts going as I had a great time with the old school segments. WWE has such an amazing video vault and it’s really annoying when they roll out the same handful of clips over and over without changing a thing.
You can do more than the same Gobbledy Gooker and various Survivor Series clips and that’s what they actually did here. Have some fun instead of just taking the easy way out over and over again. Hopefully this is how things keep going in the future because it was a lot of fun.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
What Culture Pro Wrestling Loaded Episode 5: I’m Impressed
WCPW Loaded Episode 5 Date: August 8, 2016
Location: 02 Academy, Newcastle Upon Tyne, England
Commentators: Alex Shane, Dave Bradshaw
This is What Culture Pro Wrestling, which is a promotion created by Whatculture.com, a pop culture site with a bunch of top ten lists and such. For some reason they started a wrestling promotion in the UK and it’s been getting some solid reviews. Solid enough that someone asked me to take a look at them so let’s get to it.
As is almost often the case with indy companies, I have no idea what to expect coming into this and know nothing about the promotion.
We open with a graphic saying these wrestlers aren’t accurate portrayals of their real lives. “Our ring is actually a young single father. Sometimes his mind wanders when he lies awake at night. What happens when he gets too old to do this? Who will provide for Little Timmy then?” Oh this is going to be FUN.
A guy (presumably a boss) is on the phone with Roman (oh yeah I’m going to like this) and says he can’t hire Roman until he’s clean. Apparently his name is Adam Pechitti and he’s the GM. I love it when promotions that love to poke fun at WWE always goes with the exact terminology WWE uses. Anyway, WCPW Champion Big Damo has injured someone named Rampage so we need a new #1 contender. Therefore tonight, it’s Douglas Williams vs. Aaron Stevens (Damien Sandow). The announcement is done in less than two minutes (counting the earlier graphic) so they’re already on a roll.
The set is simple with a ramp and three screens, the middle one featuring the company logo. Works for me.
Noam Dar vs. Will Ospreay vs. El Ligero
Dar has a Star Wars theme (DAR WARS!) so hopefully he impresses me a bit more than he did in the Cruiserweight Classic. As the announcers talk about Dar nearly beating Jay Lethal to take the ROH World Title, we get some dancing with the ring announcer. Ligero is a bull themed luchador. Ospreay was in that really well received match with Riccochet a few months back and then had the match against Vader as a result.
Dar dances around a bit at the bell and I can’t understand British chants. An EL LIGERO chant starts up but it’s quickly off to ALL THESE GUYS. The only contact in the first minute and half is a few handshakes. Being so polite is quite British of them. They finally get things going and everything misses until it’s a standoff for a round of applause. Ospreay starts firing off some strikes as the announcers talk about Will feeling the pressure of being considered one of the best in the world.
Ligero is sent outside but Dar can’t get anywhere on Ospreay’s knee. The announcers debate what the fans might be chanting with one of the commentators saying he speaks fluent What Culture fan. Ligero kicks Ospreay in the face as they’re doing the two men in, one on the floor formula. Dar comes back in and catches Ligero in a kneebar (I’m really not wild on this move towards submission cruiserweight wrestling). The save doesn’t work for Ospreay as he gets caught in a kneebar at the same time.
Dar and Ligero exchange strikes until Ospreay moonsaults into a double kick to the head to put all three down. Ospreay starts picking up the pace and sends Dar outside so he can kick Ligero in the corner. That sets up a big running flip dive over the corner to take Dar out again, assuming you ignore most of the dive missing him completely. Something like a Phenomenal Forearm drops Ligero but he ducks a Rainmaker as New Japan’s influence hits another promotion (it’s still just a freaking clothesline).
Dar comes back in and dropkicks Ligero out of the air but Will makes the save. A rollup into a faceplant drops Ospreay but it’s Ospreay making a save of his own at two. All three are down for the FIGHT FOREVER chant and it’s time for the strike off. Ospreay does one of those WAY too complicated flips into a kick to the head (which didn’t appear to connect) before the Oscutter (springboard into a cutter) is good for the pin on Dar.
Rating: B. That was the only possible option for the ending as Ospreay was definitely stealing the show here and being treated like the top star. The announcers hyped this up a lot more than it deserved but that’s what you’re going to get for a long indy triple threat. This was a lot of fun though and Ospreay looked like a star, which was the entire point. If you’re a fan of this style, you’ll LOVE this match.
A heel stable called the Prospect talks about how bright their future is. Whoever the leader (his name might be James R. Kennedy) is who welcomes a new member named Drake.
Joseph Conners comes up to a guy named Joe Hendry (seems faceish) and they seem to be a team having issues. It seems that they’re arguing over who gets the most spotlight during their entrance and Conners is getting sick of this whole thing. He leaves Hendry on his own and Joe looks frustrated.
Joe Hendry vs. Alex Gracie
Gracie has Prospect with him. Hendry seems very popular and his entrance video is him singing a wrestling themed version of AC/DC’s TNT (“Cause I’m Joe Hendry, I’m dynamite, Joe Hendry, I’m always right, Joe Hendry, my first name is Joe!” Oh I think I’ve got a new favorite indy promotion.).
Joe takes him straight to the mat to start and it’s time for a Prospect meeting on the floor. Back in and they seem to botch something so Hendry goes with a hard clothesline to drop Gracie for two. Sometimes you just need to hit someone really really hard. As the announcers make jokes about being attracted to each other (it fits in context), another Prospect member sneaks in for an Eat Defeat/Russian legsweep combo to take over on Hendry.
We hit the chinlock for a bit before Prospect is right back on Hendry. Back in and they chop it out with Hendry making a comeback but getting distracted by Prospect. Eat Defeat looks to set up something from the top but Joe grabs a fall away slam for the quick pin. Seriously, a fall away slam?
Rating: D+. It’s pretty clear that Hendry is much more of a character than a wrestler and there’s nothing wrong with that. The in ring part wasn’t great but at least the pre-match was really entertaining and made me want to see more of Hendry. Prospect seems to have potential as well but a clean loss doesn’t help them.
Post match Prospect beats on Hendry until Conners makes the save. Both guys get interview time but Hendry says this is Conners’ chance to talk. Conners thinks there are problems but it’s Prospect behind those problems. They have each others’ backs though and that’s all that matters. Hands are shook and things seem to be fine.
Grado runs into someone not important enough to name and they both take off their shirts. Insults are exchanged but they quickly apologize. The announcers say the other guy’s name is Martin Kirby. Good enough.
Here’s General Manager Adam Pacitti with something to say. He gets right to the point: there’s going to be a women’s division and it starts RIGHT NOW.
Bea Priestly vs. Nixon Newell
Bea is the heel here and both women are rather good looking. Feeling out process to start as they work on wristlocks with no one getting the upper hand. A chop and strut out of the corner make Newell even more popular and Bea rolls outside for a breather. Bea sends her into the post and licks Nixon’s face to freak the announcers out.
Back in and things slow down a lot, as you might expect when a heel takes over. A really weak looking kick to the back gets two for Bea but a better looking kick to the face gets the same. To crank up the gross factor, Bea takes the gum out of her mouth (Who chews gum while wrestling?) and puts it in Nixon’s mouth.
Possibly due to the high levels of WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, Nixon gets a near fall of her own off a Shining Wizard. Bea gets the better of an exchange of kicks to the face and drives a knee to the face for two. Nixon gets all aggressive again and headbutts her down, setting up a really sloppy looking Canadian Destroyer for the pin.
Rating: D+. This was better than a lot of women’s matches you’ll see outside of WWE but there was a lot of room for improvement. Then again, this was just the debut for the division so it’s not like they have anywhere to go but up. Both women looked passable out there and seem to mainly be needing polish, which will come over time.
Liam Slater and Johnny Moss, a new team, are getting ready for their match when James R. Kennedy comes in to recruit Slater to Prospect. Moss basically throws him out because he wants to fight Prospect tonight.
Prospect vs. Liam Slater/Johnny Moss
It’s Drake/Lucas Archer for the team here. The announcer compares Prospect to New Day or the Freebirds as they regularly change members. I actually like that as everyone knows who those teams are and there’s no reason to act like this is anything new or to act like they don’t exist. Also, and perhaps above all else, they don’t pretend like WWE is some horrible promotion. It comes off like WWE exists, they’re good, but check out this new promotion as well because it can entertain you as well. That’s really refreshing and it’s nice for a change. Slater isn’t very big and looks to be the speed guy while Moss is built like a tank.
Moss headlocks Drake to start and it’s off to the very skinny Archer, who loses some chest skin in the corner. Slater comes in and the announcers bill him as Moss’ protege. That makes a bit more sense as Moss really doesn’t look like he needs much help. Some technical stuff puts Drake down but he knees Liam down to take over.
It’s back to Moss a few seconds later so the announcers can keep sucking up to him. Slater gets kicked in the head though and it’s time for the double teaming to begin. That goes nowhere though as it’s off to Moss who cleans house with a double suplex. A jumping tombstone plants Archer and Drake gets pulled out of the air, setting up an avalanche headbutt from Liam for the pin on Archer.
Rating: C. This was ALL about Moss who looked really impressive. He’s basically Ryback with the great look and in ring abilities to make it work even better. I had a lot of fun watching him while the other three were just kind of there. Prospect is a group that looks good on paper but haven’t actually been the most impressive in the ring.
Some guy who calls himself a Prince leaves a hotel and insists that some guy who he refers to as his servant carry him to the arena. The servant reluctantly agrees.
Douglas Williams is offended that Aron Stevens is called a fellow wrestling legend. I’d be offended by that as well. Williams goes on a short rant about British wrestlers going overseas and turning their backs on wrestling. “Let’s make ourselves great again.”
Douglas Williams vs. Aron Stevens
Stevens is of course Damien Sandow/Aron Rex. The winner gets a WCPW Title match at some point in the future. Before we get going, Stevens uses his towel to wipe down the top rope for far longer than is necessary. A wristlock sends Williams out to the floor and I think the fans call him boring. To keep the fans entertained, Stevens does a cartwheel. Back in and Aron sends him into the corner a few times before going back to the wristlock. I’m so thrilled that Stevens is bringing that cutting edge generic offense to the UK.
Stevens is sent outside as the announcers bicker over Youtube subscribers. We hit a figure four necklock as the USA chants begin. The fans want Aron to do some very horrible things to Williams but settle for a suplex. I think you can guess the chant for that one. Williams goes up and tries something like a Swanton but lands SQUARE ON HIS HEAD.
Thankfully he’s not dead and Stevens can hit a few clotheslines, followed by a running flip neckbreaker for two. Williams tries a running knee but his leg gives out (the leg injury might explain the crash) so Stevens sits down on a sunset flip for the pin and the title shot. The count might have been a bit fast too as Williams looked badly hurt.
Rating: D+. Aron Stevens is just not very interesting. He got over with the whole stunt double thing and the solution now is to take away everything that made him popular in the first place? The match was messed up by the injury and Williams not being able to continue but everything before then didn’t work well either. It doesn’t help that I haven’t seen Stevens do anything great since he left do WWE and this didn’t change that trend.
Post match Adam Blampied comes out with the WCPW Title and talks long enough until Big Damo can come out and hit Stevens low. Trash talking ends the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I had a lot of fun with this one. Like, a lot of fun with it. I’m actually looking into going to see this promotion when I’m in Orlando for Wrestlemania weekend and they’re making their American debut. They’re far from perfect but they come out with a confidence that you don’t see a lot of promotions have. Their in ring work could use some polish but the fans care and they clearly have some money to spend on imported talent. This was a lot of fun though and you get a bunch of stuff on a single episode. Good show here and a promotion I liked WAY more than I was expecting to.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Impact Wrestling – November 24, 2016: No Thank You
Impact Wrestling Date: November 24, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
It’s a holiday show and that means a lot of things could happen. In this case we’re also going to bear witness to Matt Hardy’s Ice Cream Social because this show is whatever the Hardys come up with to be all zany. As far as wrestling goes, we’ve got Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake with title shot vs. Drake being allowed to talk on the line. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the DCC attacking and defeating Eddie Edwards and Jeff Hardy last week.
Here’s Jeff to open things up in the arena. Jeff says today is all about family and while he’s not at home, the Creatures are still his family. As much as Jeff wants to jog Matt’s memory, he needs to deal with the DCC right now. Cue the DCC on screen to say they’re many, and can destroy the obsolete later tonight in a No DQ match. The unmasked men come to the ring but Jeff gets in a few shots and bails like a wise man.
At the Hardy Compound, Senor Benjamin is reading an adult magazine and Vanguard I is drinking lemonade. Matt goes off to set up for the Ice Cream Social and Vanguard I is worried that Matt will never get his memories back.
Andrew Everett/Trevor Lee/Marshe Rockett vs. Go For Broke vs. Rockstar Spud/Decay
Elimination rules meaning all three have to be eliminated (And NO, this isn’t TNA using a WWE idea. I need to stop being a WWE fanboy and shut up and enjoy this amazing concept!) and non-title since there isn’t a title for this Team X Gold thing. Mandrews, Steve and Lee start things off with the Brit cleaning house.
Spud comes in and gets slammed by six different people without an ejection because the rules are only enforced when it’s convenient. Abyss even gets in a slam on Spud because well why not. A missile dropkick puts Abyss down but Mandrews’ followup doesn’t work quite so well as he crashes to the floor. Abyss hits him with a chair and that’s a DQ. Oh wait it’s an EJECTION instead of a DQ. Ignore the whole rules being broken because apparently DQ’s have been replaced by ejections.
Mandrews taps out to a crossface chickenwing a few seconds later and Josh goes on a limb suggesting that the team with three members is in control at the moment. Everett moonsaults onto Steve for an elimination, only to get caught in the DJZ for an elimination almost immediately thereafter. So it’s DJZ/Sutter vs. Lee/Rockett vs. Spud. Sutter’s Flatliner gets rid of Lee but Spud and Rockett get in an argument over who gets to beat up DJZ. Unfortunately Spud realizes he has no partners left so it’s a kick to Spud’s face and a Rock Bottom for the elimination. Another Flatliner gives Sutter the final pin at 8:07.
Rating: D+. This is one of the dumbest concepts TNA has ever had and that’s saying a lot. There’s no structure, the rules make little sense (Hitting someone with a chair in front of the referee is a DQ. Stop trying to make this more complicated than it is.) and one team has completely dominated the whole thing. I really don’t get what they’re going for here but it’s falling really, really flat.
Allie is playing with dolls and talking about Thanksgiving when Maria and Laurel Van Ness come in. They rip on Allie for being stupid and Maria says Allie will be serving them dinner on their double date. Are we just supposed to forget Allie standing up to Maria a few weeks ago?
Matt says his food will make Robert Irvine’s cooking obsolete, sending Vanguard I a shot of hope. The first guest, a referee, comes up and has some tapes to show Matt.
It’s time for Thanksgiving dinner with Allie dressed as a Pilgrim. She doesn’t want Braxton Sutter to see her like this so guess who Laurel’s date is (Braxton has apparently taken the fastest shower in wrestling history as he looks fine here). Laurel and Mike Bennett say what they’re thankful for and Maria yells at Allie for trying to speak. Van Ness hits on Braxton and Allie finally snaps, calling Laurel a big meanie (Is there any wonder why she’s the most over person on the roster?). Maria gets pied and that’s about it. There was a chance for a followup there but since it’s TNA, we just go to the next segment.
Carter and Drake are ready for their main event tonight.
Matt looks at clips of becoming World Champion and can’t believe he was that violent. Reby doesn’t know what to do now.
Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake
Title shot vs. being able to speak for the rest of the year. They start brawling on the floor for a bit until Carter hits a dropkick inside to take over. Drake slowly pounds away but gets clotheslined right back to the floor as we take a break. Back with Drake being sent into the steps but he snaps Ethan’s throat over the top. We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by a powerslam for two on Ethan.
With nothing else to do, Drake grabs a microphone and talks trash while stomping away. He slaps Carter in the face a few times but gets caught in the TK3. The 1%er is countered into a torture rack neckbreaker but Carter comes right back with a frog splash for the same. Blunt Force Trauma gets two for Eli and the 1%er gets the same. The rear naked choke makes Drake tap at 16:04.
Rating: B-. Not bad here as Drake continues to look good, though I have no idea where this rear naked choke came from. Carter just started using it a few weeks ago and now it’s some devastating finisher. Drake not being able to talk could be rather entertaining but I could go for him winning a big match for a change.
The Hardys hypnotize Matt to fix him. Well that’s underwhelming. Another snap of the hypnotist’s fingers turns Matt back into his one true self, meaning the one who doesn’t like wrestling.
Al Snow/Mahabali Shera vs. Tribunal
Snow and Baraka start things off with Basile yelling about the old man. The trapping headbutts have Snow in control and it’s off to Shera for the dancing. Thankfully that doesn’t last long and it’s back to Snow, who gets caught in the wrong corner. That only lasts a little while as well before it’s off to Shera for the Sky High and another near fall. Everything breaks down and the Snow Plow is broken up, leaving Baraka to hit Snow with a foreign object for the DQ at 6:34.
Rating: D-. THIS FEUD IS SO BORING! I can only imagine this feud is to appease the Sony Six audience as Shera is little more than a goon while Snow is a role that could be played by anyone else. It doesn’t help that this story has been going on and off for the better part of six months now with almost no advancement.
Grado and Robbie E. are put in a turkey suit match to bring back a tradition.
Grado vs. Robbie E.
They slug it out to start with Grado getting the better of it off the snap jabs. A double clothesline puts both guys down as this is a little less funny than I was expecting. Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:39.
Aiden O’Shea comes out to make Grado put on the suit and dancing ensues. Total waste of time here but at least it wasn’t Al Snow and the Tribunal.
Rosemary is ready for her cage match next week.
Jeff Hardy vs. Bram
Anything goes. Jeff knocks him to the floor to start and hits a dive, only to have to back off from the DCC. Back with Bram charging into boots in the corner but Storm comes in, which makes perfect sense. Well save for him waiting five minutes to interfere that is. Jeff makes another comeback but has to deal with Storm while Bram goes outside for a chair. The Whisper in the Wind gets rid of Storm and the Twisting Stunner gets two on Bram. A quick Last Call knocks Jeff into the Brighter Side of Suffering for the pin at 11:56.
Rating: C-. Well that happened. This was much more storytelling than a match as Jeff needs backup to help him fight off the odds (Where was Eddie Edwards tonight?), preferably in the form of his brother. There wasn’t much to this one and that’s fine enough, especially when it’s a story instead of a big match.
The DCC poses with the titles.
Reby is at her wits’ end with Matt but he just can’t remember what’s going on. Matt storms out of the house freaking out and asks the seven deities to send him a sign. He is then hit by a bolt of lightning, which turns him back into Broke Matt.
Overall Rating: D. Same problems as usual for TNA here: too much Hardy (though his normal self was making me chuckle) and a horrible lower card dragging down the good things this promotion does. Team X Gold gets more annoying every single time as there’s almost no consistency, let alone a point, to the whole thing. It also doesn’t help that TNA doesn’t really have anything to build towards since they only have Impact at the moment. I’ve seen worse episodes, but this wasn’t very good.
Results
Go For Broke b. Decay/Rockstar Spud and Marshe Rockett/Trevor Lee/Andrew Everett – Flatliner to Rockett
Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – Rear naked choke
Al Snow/Mahabali Shera b. Tribunal when Baraka used a foreign object
Robbie E. b. Grado – Rollup
Bram b. Jeff Hardy – Brighter Side of Suffering
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Ring of Honor TV – November 23, 2016: Two Unknowns Are Better Than Three
Ring of Honor Date: November 23, 2016
Location: William J. Myers Pavilion, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 600
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Steve Corino
We’ve only got two shows left until Final Battle and that means we won’t be hearing most of the matches for a few more weeks because ROH can’t figure out a schedule to save their lives. Next up is going to be the remainder of the Six Man Tag Team Title tournament as we need opponents for ACH and company. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Silas Young vs. Kyle O’Reilly
Feeling out process to start with Kyle grabbing a full nelson to no avail. A kneebar works a bit better but Silas throws him outside, leaving a nice sweat puddle on the floor. That’s much more in Silas’ wheelhouse and he sends Kyle hard into the barricade as we take a break. Back with Adam Cole on commentary and Kyle using another kneebar to get out of trouble. A cross armbreaker makes Silas’ night even worse and the brainbuster puts Young away at 12:37.
Rating: C-. If they want Silas to become a bigger deal, I’m really not sure how they’re going about it. After the break, this was all Kyle beating the heck out of Young, who barely had any offense in the second half of the match. ROH needs some fresh talent at the top of the card and if they want to push Young then they need to push him instead of jobbing him out in such dominant fashion.
Post match Young criticizes a Jushin Thunder Liger fan for dressing up in a costume. Silas is out here every week facing the music but Liger is a coward. There’s a Final Battle match.
Jay Lethal is ready for his Final Battle match with Cody Rhodes. I’m assuming that was announced on ROH’s website because it wasn’t announced on TV. That’s one of the things they really need to work on. I know a lot of their stuff is online but you can’t throw up a fifteen second graphic and have Kelly mention it?
The Motor City Machine Guns talk about how brutal the Ladder War was before going into a rant about how Adam Page turned on them earlier this year. This turns into the Guns talking about how much they love the ROH roster and it sounds like they’re going after the Bullet Club. I’m not entirely sure what they were going for here as it was a bit all over the place.
The Addiction wants their titles back but more importantly, to prove they’re the best. They get the Briscoes next week. As has been the case recently, this was great fire.
Dalton Castle is still missing the Boys (Where did they go anyway?) so Colt Cabana offers him some replacements.
Colt Cabana/Dalton Castle vs. Preston Quinn/Ken Dixon
Castle and Dixon start things off and it’s time for the chest thrust. The Bang A Rang finishes Ken in 55 seconds. You don’t see squashes like that around here too often.
Post match Castle says he knew he could make Colt smile. Cabana says he saw a lot of himself in Castle but maybe it’s better if they go their separate ways. Colt goes to leave but Castle says not so fast. He’d like a goodbye hug but Cabana knees him low. Well that was rather uncalled for, especially considering he was willing to leave in peace thirty seconds ago. Cabana as a heel could actually be interesting as I’ve never seen it before. Colt beats up the Boys and stabs Castle with a feather.
Six Man Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: The Kingdom vs. Team CMLL
Yay for people we don’t know and the announcers won’t explain! O’Ryan and Hecheiro start things off but it’s quickly off to Taven, who gets rolled up for some near falls. Vinny and Ultimo Guerrero, the latter of whom Corino praises because EVERYONE knows who Ultimo Guerrero is. A triple team beatdown has Vinny in trouble as we take a break. Back with Okimura not being able to sunset flip Taven thanks to some old fashioned cheating. Everything breaks down and Guerrero gets triple teamed, only to pop back up and clean house.
Corino: “I LOVE THIS GUY!” Good for you Steve, because we can barely remember his name as he’s been in an ROH ring all of twenty minutes and has never even gotten an introduction. Hecheiro grabs a leg lock on Taven with T.K. making a save as we go to a second break. Back the Kingdom taking over via a dive to the floor, followed by a modified triple bomb for the pin on Hecheiro for the pin at 11:04.
Rating: C+. The match was entertaining though I’m still not sure if the faces or heels won. I mean, I know the Kingdom are heels but was I supposed to cheer for Team CMLL? Why? Just because they’re from Mexico and are here as visitors? I was having a hard enough time keeping track of who was who, let alone wondering if I should be happy with the winners. At least Taven is someone ROH fans is familiar with and it’s a much clearer face vs. heel picture in the finals.
The Briscoes are ready for their tuneup next week because the Addiction are just a step on the way towards Final Battle, where they’ll get the titles back.
Overall Rating: C. I liked this show a lot more than the recent episodes as they advanced several stories and fleshed out a lot of the Final Battle card. That’s been lacking in recent weeks and they nailed it this week. The wrestling was fine enough and hopefully they can give us the big go home show next week, though ROH tends to lack in that area a lot of the time.
New Column: Happy (and Sad) Holidays
Since everyone has already talked about Goldberg vs. Lesnar (which I’ll get to when I can wrap my head around the thing), here’s something a little lighter this week.