NXT Date: November 23, 2016
Location: Air Canada Center, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
This is a special episode as we’re past Takeover: Toronto and since there hasn’t been time for a full taping, this show was filmed before Saturday’s show, meaning this is again in a huge arena. Things changed a lot in Toronto as two titles changed hands, including the NXT Title. Let’s get to it.
We open with the long recap of Saturday’s show.
Opening sequence.
Rich Swann vs. Kona Reeves
My goodness Swann gets an amazing reaction, easily stronger than anything the cruiserweights have gotten on Raw so far. Kona is aggressive to start and gets two off a pop up Samoan drop. Swann gets whipped hard into the corner and Reeves stops for a big, evil grin. He’s certainly got the facials down. The offense doesn’t last long though as Rich comes right back with a running kick to the face and the standing 450….but here’s Sanity for the no contest at 4:30, nearly a minute and a half of which was the team’s entrance.
Rating: D+. The match doesn’t matter because this is all about Swann’s entrance. You really can see how much better the cruiserweights are received at a show like this where they might be treated as a featured attraction instead of some people who happen to appear on the show. It gives me some hope for 205 Live, but if they do the show after Smackdown is taped, the show is dead in the water.
Swann fights back but gets taken down by the numbers as a big EY chant breaks out. Eric Young says this generation is going to be remembered because Sanity is going to take. It’s amazing how much easier it is to deal with Young when he doesn’t talk much.
Post break, No Way Jose is out to check on his partner and calls out Young for a fight right now. The rest of the team surrounds the ring and the brawl is on with no referee or bell. A right hand has Young in trouble and the rest of Sanity comes in for the beatdown.
Video on the finals of the Dusty Classic.
The Authors of Pain are ready for Chapter Three, which will be explained in time.
Peyton Royce and Billie Kay recruit Daria Berenato for the six woman tag. They’re ready to make the world prettier when Daria rearranges some faces.
Video on Bobby Roode vs. Tye Dillinger.
Tye says he might have taken a step back with the loss but the people still supported him so he’ll be back.
Long video on DIY vs. Revival. Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura was the clubhouse leader for match of the year but it’s going to be a very, very close race. I’m not sure which is in the lead at the moment but it’s a tossup at worst.
DIY says this win is an answer to every time they’ve been told no.
Video on Asuka vs. Mickie James.
Mickie is in tears over how amazing that was and calls Asuka incredible.
Video on Samoa Joe vs. Shinsuke Nakamura.
Nakamura wants a rematch as soon as possible.
Liv Morgan/Aliyah/Ember Moon vs. Peyton Royce/Billie Kay/Daria Berenato
Aliyah is the hometown girl and Berenato is the tough boxer/fighter. Billie and Liv start things off and an early headscissors takes Kay down. Aliyah comes in and Corey wants to know what’s up with people listing their area code. I’m with Graves for a change. Daria comes in and takes Aliyah down as we take an early break. Back with Aliyah still in trouble until an enziguri gets her out of trouble. Moon comes in off the hot tag and cleans house as everything breaks down. Billie kicks Moon in the face but the Aussies tell Daria to take care of the rest. As soon as Daria turns around, the Eclipse wraps things up at 8:41.
Rating: C-. This was fine and it’s very clear that Morgan is just a way to get the Aussies and Moon over as bigger deals, which is really all you can expect from her. The match was fine enough and that Eclipse is going to be the big weapon to give Asuka a run for her money. This was fine for a filler show main event and that’s all it was.
BREAKING NEWS: Nakamura vs. Joe for the title in two weeks from Osaka, Japan.
Overall Rating: D+. These are always hard to grade as nothing on here mattered but it wasn’t disguised as anything important. This was just a filler show until we get to the next tapings and that’s perfectly fine. I had a good enough time with it and the show flew by with all the recap videos. Joe vs. Nakamura III should be a blast and even if Nakamura doesn’t get the title back there, you can almost guarantee one more match in San Antonio. That’s enough to be thankful for so Happy Thanksgiving everyone.
Results
Rich Swann vs. Kona Reeves went to a no contest when Sanity interfered
Liv Morgan/Aliyah/Ember Moon b. Peyton Royce/Billie Kay/Daria Berenato – Eclipse to Berenato
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – June 24, 2002: The Lesnar Problem
Monday Night Raw Date: June 24, 2002
Location: Gund Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
Thank goodness we’re past the miserable King of the Ring and that means it’s time to get read for Vengeance. Brock Lesnar is the new King and that means he’ll be challenging for the title at Summerslam, but that’s still a long way away. On top of that we’ve got the NWO running around doing…..something that isn’t entirely clear. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
The midcard is around the ring and here’s Vince for the opening speech. Vince is often asked what makes him such a success and without a doubt it’s RUTHLESS AGGRESSION. We hear about how he beat WCW and the federal government before Vince asks which of them has the ruthless aggression he’s looking for. For some reason he keeps getting in Bradshaw’s face during this speech. Well that would fit the idea of pushing mostly older names who aren’t getting over anytime soon.
Vince starts praising Brock for winning last night while getting in Rob Van Dam’s face. A few matches are set up for later and Vince goes on a big rant about how important it is to be ruthless. This brings out the NWO with Shawn Michaels offering the team’s services to clear out some of the weaklings. Nash says if anyone has issue with that, go headline a few Wrestlemanias and then give them a shot.
Booker and Goldust are ready to fight the NWO because there’s no one tighter than the two of them. I mean, they’re buddies! Homies! They’re practically married! Thank goodness they’re not on the same show as Billy and Chuck. Vince makes Booker/Goldust vs. X-Pac/Big Show and threatens to fire Nash, just like he did to Scott Hall. Booker can dig that, sucka.
Bradshaw/Spike Dudley vs. William Regal/Christopher Nowinski
Lawler is too busy looking at the Harvard yearbook as Bradshaw throws Spike onto the two pompous jerks. Nowinski gets beaten up to start but Spike gets pulled out to the floor so Regal can start the beating. A very quick hot tag brings in Bradshaw for the house cleaning, including the Clothesline to Regal, only to have Chris grab a rollup and trunks for the pin.
Vince has a few names he wants fired, starting with Tommy Dreamer and Raven. They’ll have a match tonight and the loser is banished from Raw. The boss heads into a locker room and gets to see Jackie Gayda in her lingerie. That’s part of the build for the Divas Undressed special you see. Undertaker comes in but Vince tells him to not worry about Jeff Hardy because Jeff is a pushover. This was another version of beating you over the head with exposition.
Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Eddie Guerrero
Before the match, Eddie says there’s no way he’s going through a table. Bubba goes right after him with the high powered offense before trying an early Bubba Bomb….which is reversed into a rollup to give Eddie the pin in less than a minute. Huh?
Post match Eddie gets powerbombed through a table. Chris Benoit runs out to put Bubba in the Crossface. Again I say: huh? This whole thing, including Eddie’s long pre-match promo, took less than five minutes.
Rey Mysterio is coming. Now THAT is a way to fire up a show.
Goldust is now the Crocodile Hunter to check out the NWO locker room. Big Show is sound asleep and doesn’t hear Goldust loudly talking just a few feet away. X-Pac chases him off and Big Show talks about cheeseburgers. He was awake like half an hour ago and he’s already talking in his sleep?
The Hardys need to become singles stars because they don’t have any Tag Team Titles to win.
X-Pac chases Goldust but runs into a trashcan lid shot from Booker. This has turned into a bad comedy chase movie.
GET THE F OUT!
Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer
Dreamer doesn’t even get an entrance. Raven starts fast and uses a middle rope knee to drive Tommy head first into the mat. As you might expect, Lawler is all over the history of ECW, saying the loser here could get a job in fast food if they’re lucky. Dreamer goes shoulder first into the post but grabs a DDT for two. A Death Valley Driver gets rid of Raven in a short match.
Paul Heyman is ready to crown Brock as King.
Raven leaves without even getting to change. Matt Hardy jumps him to make up for last week.
It’s time for the coronation with Heyman taking credit for everything. On top of that though, it was his idea that the winner of the tournament get the title shot at Summerslam, which must have been the idea that he mentioned to Vince a few weeks back. That’s not exactly an earth shattering revelation or anything but I’ll give them points for at least addressing it. Brock comes out so Heyman can talk about how awesome he is but Van Dam runs in for the attack.
Post break, Heyman begs for and is granted a match tonight between Lesnar and Van Dam. Vince even makes it for the title, sending Heyman through the roof with elation.
Video of Undertaker destroying Jeff Hardy in recent weeks.
Jeff Hardy vs. Undertaker
Non-title. Jeff is thrown shoulder first into the post and a powerslam gets two with Undertaker pulling him up. The apron legdrop misses and Jeff gets in a dive, only to be chokeslammed on the floor. The Last Ride completes the destruction.
Undertaker rides away but Jeff says not so fast. He may have been beaten down time and time again but Jeff wants one more match: A LADDER MATCH for the title.
By the way: we’re over an hour and fifteen minutes into this show and no matches have broken three minutes yet.
Trish Stratus/Linda Miles vs. Molly Holly/Jackie Gayda
So….weren’t the Tough Enough girls on Smackdown recently? Like, in theory EXCLUSIVELY on Smackdown? Before the match, Molly says she earned the title but Trish brings up the whole cheating thing. Thankfully Trish and Molly get things going and, not so thankfully, the fat jokes are rolling early.
For some reason it’s off to both rookies at the same time, even though it would make sense to have them work with a veteran who can keep things under control. Trish and Linda take turns on Jackie’s arm until Molly starts choking on the top rope. The hot tag brings Trish back in and a Chick Kick gets two on Molly. Everything breaks down and Stratusfaction gives Trish the clean pin on the champ.
Rating: D. I get the idea of Linda and Jackie getting ring time but things might actually be able to go somewhere once we get passed Divas Undressed, which is suddenly the most amazing thing ever. It’s being treated as more important than the Women’s Title right now and that’s getting old in a hurry. But hey, that’s all the women are good for right?
We look back at Van Dam attacking Lesnar.
Van Dam and Lesnar are ready for each other.
Nash fires up the NWO.
NWO vs. Booker T./Goldust
Show powers Booker into the corner to start and the chops are enough to bring in X-Pac. Goldust comes in as well and hits his own Bronco Buster but the slow beatdown begins as the NWO takes over. Riveting stuff you see. Of course it’s time for a chinlock for a bit but a good looking spinwheel kick gets two on Goldust.
Show’s Final Cut gets two and it’s time for more kicks, only to have the Bronco Buster miss. Some heel miscommunication allows Booker to hit his trio of kicks on Big Show. Everything breaks down and Booker kicks X-Pac outside, leaving Goldust to load up Shattered Dreams on Big Show. This of course takes WAY too long and it’s the chokeslam to put Goldust away.
Rating: C+. Not bad here as they were smart enough to put Show on the apron for most of the match. He’s fine when they just let him beat people up and doesn’t do much otherwise, which is the best idea when you have three people this talented out there. Also at least they had Goldust take the fall instead of Booker and now Nash can be happy.
Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Brock Lesnar
Lesnar is challenging and runs Rob over in the corner to start. The fans get distracted by something in the corner of the arena but a jumping kick to Brock’s face brings their attention back. The beating begins though with Lesnar taking Brock down and ignoring the GOLDBERG chants. We hit the suplex for another near fall, followed by the backbreakers into a bearhug which gives me time to think about the Lesnar problem.
Brock is in such a weird place as he looks great and has all the physical tools but he feels like someone who is just doing the things a great heel can do instead of actually doing them. Instead of someone who is the top star, he comes off like the ultimate dragon for the real top star to slay. Van Dam breaks out and starts the comeback with the usual, including the top rope kick to the face. Heyman offers a distraction to break up the Five Star and then comes in to break up the cover off a split legged moonsault.
Rating: C. You could hear the crowd go silent on the finish and I can’t say I blame them. It’s pretty clear there’s going to be a rematch at Vengeance but that doesn’t make this much better. Like I said, Brock really isn’t the most interesting heel in the world. We really haven’t heard anything actually from him as it’s all Heyman saying “this guy is a monster”, which we could see without Heyman around.
Heyman gets the Five Star but Brock powerbombs Rob through the announcers’ table to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Until the aftermath of Jeff vs. Undertaker, this could have been on an episode of Heat. Yeah Vince addressed the locker room and that seems to mean a grand total of nothing. Really what it came down to was “now you all work extra hard” and then it was just another episode of Raw with a first hour that meant nothing. How can you go through a show and have so little happen until nearly the last third?
Above all else though, I’m not sure what the biggest story was on this show. In theory it’s the Ruthless Aggression part but what does that even mean? Vince said it like a new buzz word but the big thing I saw was the NWO leadership treating their two active wrestlers like rookies and teasing a Vince vs. NWO feud while Lesnar destroyed Van Dam to crickets. They need to fix something in a hurry because this show was really bad with the last half hour barely keeping it afloat.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown – November 22, 2016: I Thought Raw Was The Red Show
Smackdown Date: November 22, 2016
Location: Canadian Tire Centre, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, David Otunga, Tom Phillips
It’s two days after Survivor Series and less than two weeks to Tables, Ladders and Chairs, meaning it’s time to make up a card. Thankfully Smackdown is ready for that and has already announced a tag team turmoil match to determine who will challenge Rhyno and Heath Slater. Let’s get to it.
We open with a quick recap of Smackdown winning the men’s tag match.
Here’s a banged up Shane McMahon to open things up. After a YOU STILL GOT IT chant, Shane praises Team Raw for bringing it as hard as they did. That being said, he’s not happy with AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose, who couldn’t keep it together for a single night. Shane is as close to serious as he can get but Dean keeps chuckling and brings out James Ellsworth, who took out Braun Strowman.
Apparently there’s a surprise for Ellsworth but Dean jumps the gun by saying James is getting a contract. So he was working freelance until then? And he had a World Title shot? Didn’t Shane learn anything from the Monday Night Wars? Dean has been given the night off and Shane wants him out of the building.
This brings out AJ Styles, who wants Dean’s title shot revoked. After that goes nowhere, AJ goes to Ellsworth, who is being handed his contract. Since TLC is in two weeks, AJ needs a warmup. How about we put that contract above the ring and have a ladder match? Ellsworth actually agrees but if he wins, he wants a future title shot.
Daniel Bryan interrupts Miz and Maryse’s photo shoot and Miz is ready for Mizgiving. That’s not what Daniel has in mind though as he’s going to give Miz an Intercontinental Title defense against Kalisto, who was screwed out of the Cruiserweight Title on Sunday.
After a break, Shane makes sure Dean leaves the arena.
Intercontinental Title: Kalisto vs. Miz
Miz is defending. Kalisto goes behind to start and backflips under a clothesline. A suicide dive sends Miz down to the floor and us to a break. Back with Kalisto still in control and hitting his springboard corkscrew crossbody for two. A slingshot sitout powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two more on the champ as Miz is reeling so far. Cue Baron Corbin for a distraction though and a Skull Crushing Finale retains the title at 7:15. Not enough to rate but Miz was getting squashed until the ending.
Corbin lays Kalisto out and Dolph Ziggler superkicks Miz to make up for last week. Good grief can we PLEASE go somewhere with Corbin vs. Kalisto but more importantly, MOVE ON FROM MIZ VS. ZIGGLER???
Alexa Bliss comes in to see the bosses but Bryan bails to go deal with what happened. Becky Lynch walks in (“I knocked.”) and says the rematch is at TLC. Cue Natalya with the whistle and talks her way into a match with Becky. Natalya leaves so here’s Dean with a pizza, much to Shane’s annoyance. Becky: “I’ll see you later….after I take out a PIZZA Nattie’s arm!”
Video on the Wrestlemania ticket sale party.
Bryan gives Corbin a match with Kane.
Tag Team Turmoil
This is a gauntlet match with the last team standing getting the Tag Team Title shot at TLC. Ascension and the Hype Bros start things off with the Bros getting jumped from behind and beaten down on the floor. Things settle down with Ryder getting beaten down and chopped a lot. A double neckbreaker gets Ryder out of trouble though and it’s a Hype Ryder for the first pin.
Breezango is in next and we take a quick break. Back with Breezango in control and avoiding a Broski Boot. A slingshot elbow puts Ryder away and it’s American Alpha in fourth. Fandango is right on top of Gable as he comes in and Chad is in early trouble. That goes nowhere as Gable rolls Breeze up for a quick elimination. It’s the Vaudevillains in at #5 and they’re out in less than thirty seconds off a German suplex. That leaves the Usos vs. Alpha for the title shot but the twins aren’t thrilled with getting in immediately.
We take an early break and come back with Jordan in trouble. A belly to back suplex gives Jey two and we hit the chinlock for a bit, only to have Jason pop up and make the hot tag. Gable comes in and cleans house with a snap German suplex getting two on Jey. With Jordan still down, Chad gets caught in a backbreaker/top rope knee combo for a near fall. Jason makes a blind tag and the Steiner Bulldog gets two with Jimmy making a save. Jey scores with a superkick but the Superfly Splash hits knees, setting up a small package for two. Grand Amplitude ends Jey at 21:02.
Rating: B-. The first half of this wasn’t much to see but Alpha and the Usos tore the house down. It’s a good idea to give Alpha the title shot as you can only keep them away from the belts for so long. They’re just so far ahead of almost everyone else and only the Usos can really keep up with them. Check out the final fall but the rest is pretty skippable.
The Wyatts pop up on screen to say they’re the final team but won’t face Alpha until next week.
Ellsworth knows he’s in over his head but wants to fight anyway because any man with two feet can climb a ladder. This brings in Ambrose…..who is dressed as a Mountie (not THE Mountie of course). Shane comes back in and freaks out, telling Ambrose to leave again. Dean: “Don’t you want to know why I’m dressed as a Mountie?” Shane leaves before he does something he’ll regret. Bryan actually asks why he’s dressed like that, which Dean says is because he always gets his man. JBL: “A lunatic Rougeau Brother?”
Becky Lynch vs. Natalya
Alexa is on commentary. They hit the mat to start with Natalya getting the better of it as we take an early break. Back with Natalya in control with an abdominal stretch. It’s almost time for the Sharpshooter but Becky reverses into the Disarm-Her for the tap out at 7:12. Again not enough to rate but it did its job just fine.
Bliss jumps Becky post match.
The Hype Bros shill merchandise.
Miz wants Dolph Ziggler to be suspended but gets a title match against Ziggler at TLC in a ladder match. This is their LAST match.
Nikki Bella accuses Carmella of attacking her at Survivor Series. Carmella suggests that it was Charlotte or Dana Brooke. See, Nikki has made a lot of enemies because she’s not exactly Mother Theresa. There’s going to be an anything goes match at TLC.
Kane vs. Baron Corbin
The masked one goes after him to start but walks into one heck of a right hand to stagger him into the corner. Corbin does his slide underneath the ropes but here’s Kalisto to go after Baron for the DQ at 1:05.
Kane chokeslams Corbin for good measure. Kalisto grabs a chair but Corbin bails before anything can happen. For some reason Corbin charges back in and takes a Van Daminator.
AJ Styles vs. James Ellsworth
Non-title ladder match and if AJ wins, Ellsworth is gone for good. If Ellsworth wins, he gets the contract and a future title shot. What Ellsworth, in a neck brace, doesn’t get is an entrance though as AJ comes out after a break. Ellsworth is knocked out to the floor and a kick to the face makes it even worse.
A backbreaker further damages James’ bad back and AJ puts the ladder on top of him. As AJ goes up for the climb, here’s Ambrose in a hockey jersey and helmet to take AJ down. The Phenomenal Forearm drops Dean but Ellsworth shoves the ladder over, sending Styles down to the floor. No Chin Music knocks AJ into the ropes and his boot is tied up in the ropes, allowing Jams to get the contract at 6:00.
Rating: D. This was about the story instead of the match but I’m getting tired of seeing AJ lose to Ellsworth. I know there’s interference and it doesn’t really matter but this is the third time we’ve done this same story and this time the big final shot was Ellsworth on his own. Not a good match of course but this was more of an angle than a match.
JBL does a trademark freak out to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. I really wasn’t feeling this one as it felt like an episode of Raw. The matches were mostly short and featured a ton of interference, though they did set up a bunch of stuff for the pay per view. The good thing is they had most of their stuff set up in advance so this wasn’t the hardest card to throw together. Not a bad show but it didn’t have the Smackdown feel.
Results
Miz b. Kalisto – Skull Crushing Finale
American Alpha won Tag Team Turmoil – Grand Amplitude to Jey
Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her
Baron Corbin b. Kane via DQ when Kalisto interfered
James Ellsworth b. AJ Styles – Ellsworth pulled down the contract
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – November 21, 2016: There Is Logic In What They Do
Monday Night Raw Date: November 21, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
We’re still in Toronto as the big pay per view weekends are starting to feel like an old Raw TV cycle. The big story last night is Brock Lesnar’s complete destruction at the hands of Goldberg, who beat him in a mind blowing 87 seconds. Tonight we get started towards Roadblock in about four weeks so let’s get to it.
We open with stills of Lesnar vs. Goldberg because a match running less than a minute and a half needs to be clipped.
Here’s Goldberg getting the full entrance to open things up. Goldberg thanks the fans for letting him be Goldberg again. He also thanks his wife and son for putting up with him and he got to be a star again one more time. Last night he ran into Stephanie McMahon who said he did have one more spear and Jackhammer in him (three spears and two Jackhammers if you’re counting) but the question is does he have one more title run left in him. The fans go NUTS over that prospect and Goldberg says he’s in the Royal Rumble.
Raw Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Sheamus/Cesaro
New Day is defending and talk about breaking Demolition’s record for longest Tag Team Title reign in just 23 days. A powerslam gives Cesaro two on Big E. to start but Kofi escapes an early Swing attempt. Instead Cesaro sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Kofi dropkicking Sheamus out of the air but getting Irish Cursed for two.
Sheamus won’t tag out though and we get some heel (I think?) miscommunication with Cesaro being knocked off the apron. The hot tag brings in Big E. to clean house as everything breaks down. The Warrior Splash gets two on Sheamus but he rakes Big E.’s eyes to set up White Noise for the same.
It’s back to Cesaro vs. Kofi with the Uppercut Train taking off, only to have an SOS get two. Trouble in Paradise is countered into a Cesaro Swing which goes into the Sharpshooter. The Brogue Kick puts Big E. down but Woods gets on the apron for the distraction as Kofi taps. Ever the moron, Cesaro lets the hold go and gets small packaged for the pin at 12:18.
Rating: C+. So they seem to be turning New Day heel. I think I can actually go with that as I’d much rather go there than have Cesaro and Sheamus stop them just before the record. Obviously they haven’t gotten there yet and there’s always the possibility that they’ll switch the titles with two days to go, but at least they didn’t do it here.
Chris Jericho is distraught that the List of Jericho was destroyed last night. Tonight, he’s going to say who’s to blame for this travesty.
Enzo Amore is stuck outside his locker room…..and he’s missing his clothes. After running into the Shining Stars and Titus O’Neil with the expected results. Enzo runs into Lana and, of course, asks how she’s doing. Rusev comes in to yell and Cass comes to Enzo’s defense. There’s no offer of a shirt for Enzo or anything but a match is set up for later.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon do their standard “we’re awesome” segment and talk about needing to punish the Raw stars who lost last night. Sami Zayn comes in and gets a match against Braun Strowman. So Foley is a heel too.
Ariya Daivari vs. Cedric Alexander
Before the match, Daivari says Canadians are just as bad as Americans and rants in some foreign language. Alexander armbars him before the bell but Daivari takes over as the match gets started. Cedric’s springboard is broken up into a big crash but he nails a handspring into a kick to the face. Another springboard into a clothesline sets up the Lumbar Check for the pin on Daivari at 3:10.
Rating: C+. The match was fine, even entertaining at times, but as usual I have no reason to care. I’m not sure if the 205 Live show is the solution but maybe they can get the focus back and find some of that spark that made Cruiserweight Classic so entertaining. This was better than the usual stuff at least.
It’s time for the Highlight Reel with a serious Jericho wanting to find out what happened with the List of Jericho. Kevin Owens cuts him off and asks when Chris upgraded to the Jeritron 6500. Jericho isn’t happy with Owens for not realizing he was there when Jericho upgraded.
We see Owens saving Jericho from the Styles Clash with the List of Jericho, sending Jericho into a rant about everything that could have been seen. Owens: “Who cares???” That seems to be a breaking point for Jericho, because he cares. Owens yells at Jericho for screwing up by walking into an RKO a few seconds after he sacrificed himself. If that’s how Owens feels, maybe they don’t have much of a friendship.
Owens is never there when Jericho needs him and Chris is done with him. Kevin spins him around and they both blame Roman Reigns, setting up a big hug. The ranting goes on about Reigns and Rollins (who are hair conditioner brothers) until Seth comes out, demanding his title shot tonight. The brawl is on and here’s Reigns, slowly walking to the ring for the save. Cue Foley to make the title match tonight, No DQ, with Jericho and Reigns banned from ringside.
We recap the opening segment.
Enzo Amore vs. Rusev
Before the match, Enzo says if Lana wanted to see him sans clothes, she just had to hack his phone. The Accolade finishes Enzo in 58 seconds.
Anderson and Gallows vs. Golden Truth
Winners get a shot at New Day next week. Anderson and Gallows take Truth into the corner for an early beating, including a bunch of stomping and a Gallows big boot for two. A kick to the face allows the hot tag to Goldust, who tries to go up top. That just earns him a crotching, followed by the Magic Killer for the pin at 6:02.
Rating: D. This was a bit more academic than it should have been and there’s nothing wrong with that. It seems that New Day is going to have to run a gauntlet to get to the record, which is kind of a cool idea as long as they don’t switch the belts with two days left for a slip on a banana peel moment.
Video on the Wrestlemania tickets going on sale. This includes someone making a fourteen hour drive from Houston because Houston has never heard of an online sale.
Braun Strowman vs. Sami Zayn
Strowman jumps him before the bell and Sami is in big trouble to start. A running splash crushes Sami again and the match is almost stopped. Some hard clotheslines make things even worse. Strowman ties Sami in the Tree of Woe and Mick Foley comes out to stop the match at 4:00.
Rating: D. You really can’t rate this match fairly but it did exactly what it needed to do. Sami can sell as well as almost anyone I’ve ever seen and that’s what he did here to almost perfection. I’m really curious to see where this goes and I didn’t expect that to be the case for this kind of story.
Emmalina video.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke with something to say. She looks at some stills of the postmatch beatdown on Bayley before calling herself the Wayne Gretzky of WWE. Charlotte is so happy she doesn’t have to deal with the Team Raw peasants but here’s Sasha Banks to interrupt.
Sasha wants her rematch tonight and Charlotte agrees with one condition: it’s in her hometown next week so she can beat Sasha again. Cue Nia Jax to say she dominated the Smackdown women, unlike Sasha, the short, purple headed Barbie. Dana finds this hilarious so Sasha decks her, only to get sent into the corner for the running splash. Bayley comes out for the save, meaning Sasha is thrown out to her.
Sasha Banks/Bayley vs. Charlotte/Nia Jax
Joined in progress with Nia throwing Bayley around and bringing in Charlotte for a chinlock. A failed monkey flip allows for the hot tag to Banks, who helps out with a double suplex to Nia. The Bank Statement makes Charlotte tap at 4:37.
Rating: D+. This did exactly what it needed to do and protected Nia at the same time. Jax is going to devour someone for that title eventually and whoever gets to take it off of her is going to be a star. As long as this leads to a big match with (hopefully all of) the Four Horsewomen at Wrestlemania, everything will be fine.
We look at the opening segment for the third time.
Seth Rollins is ready for his match with Owens.
Noam Dar vs. Rich Swann vs. TJ Perkins
The winner gets Brian Kendrick, on commentary here, for the title on the debut of 205 Live. Kendrick says the new show was created for him as Dar dropkicks Perkins out to the floor, only to have Swann do the same to Noam. Perkins kicks Rich’s knee out and we take a break. Back with Perkins kicking Dar in the face but getting caught in an ankle lock. Swann makes a save, followed by Dar breaking up TJ’s kneebar. Another kneebar is broken up by a splash and Swann kicks Perkins in the head for the pin at 7:50.
Rating: C. Not bad here and Swann winning makes the most sense, which is a common theme tonight. Swann has already beaten Kendrick twice and it would be a big waste to not have him go anywhere with the title shot. It also helps that Rich has more charisma than most of the division combined so the fans can get behind him for a change.
Owens brags about beating AJ Styles and knows he’s ready to beat Rollins, who failed him last night.
Enzo and Cass shill merchandise.
Raw World Title: Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
Owens is defending and there are no disqualifications with Jericho and Reigns barred from ringside. Kevin tries to bail to the floor and gets kicked in the face for his efforts. The springboard knee to the head gets two inside thirty seconds so it’s already table time. Owens grabs the package piledriver slam and we take an early break.
Back with Owens in full control and hammering Seth in the head. A Sling Blade and suicide dive take Owens out, leading to another commercial. Back again with an exchange of strikes to the face putting both guys down. The frog splash misses Owens and it’s a Cannonball into a chair onto Rollins for a close two. Owens sets up a pair of chairs for a powerbomb and you can see the backdrop counter coming before it happens.
Another table is set up in the corner and the Buckle Bomb drives Owens through it for a very close two. They fight into the crowd with Rollins getting the better of it by throwing a trashcan at the champ. Owens tries the powerbomb but Seth grabs the balcony wall and pulls himself up for a big dive. They make it back to ringside but a masked man shoves Rollins off the barricade. Of course it’s Jericho and of course he gets a Pedigree on the floor. The Apron Powerbomb wipes Rollins out though and Owens throws him back in to retain at 23:07.
Rating: B+. Really good stuff here as it felt like a full on pay per view main event with high spots and near falls. The Jericho interference was a stretch and I’m kind of hoping it isn’t used to set up another rematch at Roadblock as I’m pretty much over Rollins vs. Owens after this one. Really good main event though and I bought Rollins as a title threat.
Overall Rating: B. I liked this show a lot more than I was expecting to and it’s mainly because of the logical booking throughout (most of) the night. You can see where they’re going with so much stuff and they set up three title matches in a single show while also having two titles defended. This felt like a completely different kind of Raw and while I don’t believe it’s going to last, this was a lot of fun and a welcome change of pace.
Results
New Day b. Cesaro/Sheamus – Small package to Cesaro
Cedric Alexander b. Ariya Daivari – Lumbar Check
Rusev b. Enzo Amore – Accolade
Anderson and Gallows b. Golden Truth – Magic Killer to Goldust
Braun Strowman b. Sami Zayn via stoppage
Bayley/Sasha Banks b. Nia Jax/Charlotte – Bank Statement to Charlotte
Rich Swann b. Noam Dar and TJ Perkins – Kick to Perkins’ head
Kevin Owens b. Seth Rollins – Apron powerbomb
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series 2016 Date: November 20, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, David Otunga
For the first time ever, Survivor Series is a four hour show with a two hour pre-show. Now some might think this is too….oh wait I’m not a real fan if I complain about shows being too long unless it’s Raw when it’s unquestionably too long. Pay per views can be as long as they want you see. Tonight is all about Raw vs. Smackdown and Brock Lesnar vs. Goldberg so let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Ariya Daivari/Drew Gulak/Tony Nese vs. TJ Perkins/Rich Swann/Noam Dar
Swann gets out of a suplex to start and dropkicks Nese in the jaw before handing it off to TJ. More flipping ensues and we can hear Renee Young talking to her producer and saying “nine minutes”. The kneebar has Gulak in trouble but everything breaks down to send us to a break.
Back with Dar getting crotched on the middle rope and superkicked for two. A delayed vertical suplex gets two for Nese and it’s back to Gulak for a leg lock. Some kicks finally get Dar out of trouble and it’s off to Swann for the house cleaning. We hit the dives on the bad guys and it’s Swann’s standing 450 for the pin on Daivari at 11:50, or 8:57 after Renee said “nine minutes”.
Rating: C. Standard six man tag though the pace seemed a bit faster here. Maybe giving them their own show is the solution because they still feel out of place on the main roster. They’re more than talented enough but the lack of charisma and personalities are killing them. Someone like Gulak or Nese for instance are great examples of this as there’s no reason to care about anything they’re doing and it shows more every week they’re out there. Not a bad match but it was in one ear and out the other.
Pre-Show: Kane vs. Luke Harper
Feeling out process to start with both guys going after the arm. That’s not the most interesting thing in the world though so it’s Kane being sent outside for the suicide dive. Back in and a Falcon’s Arrow gets two for Harper as we take a break. We come back with Kane in a chinlock until a belly to back suplex drops Luke on his head. As JBL makes a Walking Dead reference, Kane walks into a superkick for two. A big boot to the shoulder and the running DDT give Kane his own near fall. Harper comes back with the discus lariat but Kane grabs the chokeslam for the pin at 10:08.
Rating: C-. This was every match you’ve ever seen these two have, meaning it wasn’t half bad. Harper has been a little overshadowed so it’s nice to see him have a match on his own for a change. Kane winning is fine, albeit a bit unnecessary as he just pops in and out of Smackdown at will.
The opening video is pretty standard and focuses on the three elimination tags plus Goldberg vs. Lesnar.
Survivor Series Women’s Tag Team Match: Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown
Actually hang on a sec as there’s no Nikki. We cut to the back where someone has attacked Nikki, meaning Natalya will be taking her place. Alicia and Carmella start things off but it’s quickly off to Bayley vs. Becky. Unfortunately that doesn’t get to happen as Charlotte tags herself in, leading to a big ten woman staredown with Nia breaking everything up on her own.
It settles down to Becky trying the Disarm-Her on Charlotte but Nia comes in and runs through the Smackdown women one by one. Some double teaming finally puts her back on the apron and it’s Alicia hitting an ax kick to eliminate Carmella at 6:26. Bliss pulls Alicia right back down though and Twisted Bliss ties us up at 6:47.
Everything breaks down and Naomi dives onto Jax, who sends Naomi head first into the post. That’s enough for a countout at 8:46 and it’s 4-3 Raw. Alexa takes Sasha into the wrong corner but Banks comes right back with the double knees without missing a beat. Alexa saves Natalya from the Bank Statement and it’s a rollup from Natalya to get rid of Sasha at 10:26.
Charlotte takes Natalya down but the moonsault is countered into a sitout powerbomb. The Sharpshooter doesn’t last long as Charlotte makes the ropes, allowing her to kick Natalya in the face for the elimination. So it’s Becky/Alexa vs. Nia/Bayley/Charlotte but the Smackdown women get in an argument. Nia suplexes them both at the same time before falling to a horribly botched double DDT. The Disarm-Her (looks really bad as Becky can’t lock it in) makes Nia tap at 13:26, leaving the match at 2-2.
Actually never mind as Charlotte boots Alexa in the face for the pin at 14:15. Becky is in trouble but comes back with clotheslines and forearms, followed by the Bex Plex. It’s off to Bayley who takes a Bex Plex of her own but blocks the Disarm-Her. A quick Bayley to Belly gives Bayley the surprise winning pin at 17:49.
Rating: C. This was pretty sloppy and the eliminations felt like an excuse to get us to the final few people, which makes sense as they’re the most interesting but it also shows the problems with this kind of match. Bayley getting the pin was a good choice though I’m not sure why they got Sasha out of there so fast. All that being said: this was so far ahead of what these matches used to be that it might as well have been a different sport entirely. Things are trending in the right way and that’s a good thing.
Charlotte destroys Bayley post match to set up the next title feud.
Anderson and Gallows pick on James Ellsworth until Mick Foley comes in for the save. After talking about how much he loved seeing Foley get beaten up as a kid, Ellsworth turns down an offer to come to Raw. Braun Strowman comes up and scares Ellsworth away.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. Sami Zayn
Sami is challenging and the title can change brands. The Canadian fans are way behind Sami as he starts fast with a leg lariat and sends Miz to the floor for a breather. That’s fine with Sami who moonsaults off the barricade to drop the champ again. The standard Miz distraction lets Miz take over on the leg with some kicks and a swing into the post.
Sami comes right back with a flip dive and the Michinoku Driver for two but Miz starts doing Daniel Bryan stuff again and takes over. That just means a Blue Thunder Bomb to give Sami two but the Helluva Kick only hits the buckle. The Figure Four goes on until Sami turns it over for the counter.
Miz starts in with the YES Kicks but gets pulled down into a Figure Four (which takes a bit as Sami doesn’t seem to know how to do it) and the bell rings…..as rung by Maryse. The distraction lets Miz grab a rollup (and tights according to Cole, even though his hand isn’t grabbing anything) to retain at 14:09.
Rating: C+. Not the best here as the ending felt like they needed a way out and didn’t want either guy to do a job. I’m really not sure what they’re waiting on with Sami as he’s more than over enough and ready to do something but he keeps going from one story to another (like Strowman, who didn’t even have a match against Sami) without really getting anywhere.
Dean Ambrose and AJ Styles argue over what’s going to happen at TLC when Shane McMahon comes in and tells them to cool it.
Survivor Series Tag Team Elimination Match: Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown
Raw: Enzo Amore and Big Cass, New Day, Anderson and Gallows, Shining Stars,
Smackdown: Heath Slater/Rhyno, Breezango, Usos, American Alpha, Hype Bros
When one member is eliminated, their partner is as well. Fandango and Big E. get things going but Fandango would rather give away fashion tickets. The Midnight Hour takes care of Breezango at 46 seconds but Jimmy superkicks Kofi to tie it up at 1:13. Well that’s certainly a surprise. Ryder, with the old Survivor Series logo on his trunks, flapjacks Primo before it’s off to Mojo (Graves: “Smackdown’s resident blithering idiot.”) for his bell clap in the corner. Ryder comes back in and has to deal with Anderson and Gallows, meaning it’s a Magic Killer for the pin at 5:14.
We get the big moment of the match as American Alpha comes in for multiple double dropkicks but Sheamus starts stomping Gable down in the corner. The Shining Stars actually beat on Gable for a bit until the hot tag brings Jordan back in for the house cleaning. It’s actually a Steiner Bulldog to get rid of the Shining Stars and tie things up.
Everything breaks down and it’s Enzo being launched onto the pile. Slater hits a dive of his own, leaving Jordan to get caught in the Swing. Another Magic Killer eliminates American Alpha at 10:46 and we’re down to 3-2. Slater has to fight off Anderson and Gallows but some Raw miscommunication allows a tag off to Rhyno. The Gore gets rid of Anderson and Gallows at 12:26 but the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka takes out Rhyno and Slater at 13:00.
The Usos remember they’re in the match and superkick Enzo into the Superfly Splash for the elimination at 13:30, leaving us with the Usos vs. Sheamus/Cesaro. Sheamus eats a superkick but Cesaro shoves him out of the way of the second, meaning it’s a Brogue Kick for two on Jimmy with Jey making the save. Cesaro comes in with the Uppercut Train followed by a 619. The high crossbody gets two on Jey and there’s the Swing to make it even worse. Jimmy superkicks the knee out to set up the Tequila Sunrise but Cesaro reverses into a Sharpshooter for the tap out at 18:56 as Sheamus cuts Jey off.
Rating: D+. Yeah ok we get it: Cesaro and Sheamus are a thing and we’ll like them already. This was REALLY disappointing as they flew through the eliminations for reasons I don’t even want to try to comprehend. But hey, they got the match in and out of there as fast as they could and that’s what matters right? That’s why we added an hour: so the matches that could be interesting could be short with two eliminations in less than eighty seconds.
So in theory the final Survivor Series match, which now means even less as Raw has secured the brand supremacy thing (assuming they’re not counting the stupid singles matches), is going to run about forty five minutes.
Stephanie McMahon and Foley give Cesaro and Sheamus a Tag Team Title match tomorrow night on Raw.
We recap the Cruiserweight Title match, which is another non-existent feud because there’s no story here. Kendrick has the title and Kalisto’s job is to bring it to Smackdown.
Cruiserweight Title: Kalisto vs. Brian Kendrick
Kendrick is defending and Kalisto snaps off some hurricanranas to start. A running corner dropkick has Brian in trouble so he grabs the ropes to avoid getting pinned. That would be his craftiness you see and that makes him an interesting villain. Or so I’m told. Kendrick grabs a long cravate until Kalisto gets him to the apron for a Spanish Fly to the floor.
Back in and Kendrick gets flipped off the top but still grabs the Captain’s Hook. The rope is finally grabbed and Kalisto starts snapping off the kicks, followed by a middle rope seated senton to the back. The Salida Del Sol gets two as Kendrick puts a boot on the rope. Kalisto heads up top….and here’s Baron Corbin to hit Kendrick for the DQ at 12:19. Therefore, Raw is now 3-1, making the last Survivor Series match even less important.
Rating: C. I was digging this one until the end and it’s amazing how much more interesting this is when you have a high flier that we’ve actually gotten to know a bit over the years instead of someone who was brought in without much backstory. Oh and another reason why the division hasn’t worked so far: the champ’s finisher is a chinlock.
Corbin gives Kalisto the End of Days.
Pre-Show recap.
Team Raw Men vs. Team Smackdown Men
Raw: Kevin Owens, Chris Jericho, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Braun Strowman
Smackdown: Shane McMahon, Bray Wyatt, Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose, AJ Styles
Ellsworth is here as Smackdown’s mascot. AJ and Owens get things going to really make the smarks happy. Neither can get anywhere so the fans start a STUPID IDIOT chant (Owens: “That’s you!”). The fans get the tag to Jericho, who stops to hug Owens. Chris leaves so it’s off to Rollins vs. Ambrose with neither being able to hit a finisher. Jericho comes back in and hits an enziguri for two on Dean.
Shane gets the tag and does his weird punching before elbowing Jericho in the jaw with the fans telling him he still has it. The boss gets beaten down as the announcers argue over which show had higher ratings. Not THE MATCH IN FRONT OF THEM, but the TV ratings. Roman comes in for the corner clotheslines but it’s back to Ambrose vs. Owens. The Pop Up Powerbomb doesn’t work and we get the big showdown instead, leaving Owens to do the BIG flip dive onto everyone else.
A bunch of people go after Braun, leaving the Shield and AJ in the ring. The Smackdown guys clear the ring but get in a brawl until Shane breaks it up. A kick to Dean’s head allows Strowman to powerslam Ambrose for the elimination at 15:59. Strowman shrugs off the Smackdown attack again, including a SCARY looking toss to send AJ over the top and out to the floor.
We get the Bray vs. Braun showdown with Strowman dropkicking Bray down in a not horrible visual. Orton finally gets in the RKO onto the announcers’ table and Shane adds the top rope elbow for the huge crash. AJ gets Shane back inside and Strowman is counted out at 21:12 because Ellsworth grabbed his foot. James bails up the ramp but gets caught (How can you not outrun BRAUN STROWMAN?) and thrown off the stage.
Shane is still in the ring to take another beating and the Lionsault connects, only to have Shane reverse into a small package for two. McMahon and Orton both take Codebreakers and of course Shane kicks out. Question for discussion: would any other member of Team Smackdown be allowed to kick out of a Lionsault and Codebreaker in the span of thirty seconds? Naturally Shane gets in a shot on Jericho and makes the tag off to AJ. They trade submission attempts and AJ decks Owens, who comes in with the List of Jericho for the DQ at 29:28. Jericho is distraught and gets RKO’d for the pin at 30:21.
We’re down to Shane/Orton/Bray/AJ vs. Reigns/Rollins. It’s Seth going in first and the numbers game has him in early trouble. A superplex gets two on Seth but Orton is banged up enough to allow a tag off to Reigns. The sitout powerbomb gets two on AJ but he blocks the Superman Punch and brings in Shane. A DDT puts Reigns down and something like a spinebuster does the same to Seth.
The spear goes into the post and Shane loads up the Coast to Coast, which is speared out of the air…..for two. He’s officially announced as eliminated a few seconds later, presumably due to injury. Shane looks really messed up and it wouldn’t surprise me if that wasn’t exactly how it was supposed to go. There’s a good chance that he didn’t mean to kick out but had no idea where he was.
Rollins gets the hot tag to clean house and hits his rolling superplex into the Falcon’s Arrow for two on AJ. Reigns has to save Seth from the Elevated DDT on the floor but AJ breaks up a DoubleBomb. Cue Ambrose to go after AJ though and we get the Shield Reunion for a TripleBomb through the table. Seth pins AJ at 46:11 and it’s down to two vs. two.
Orton and Wyatt circle the ring until Luke Harper shows up for a distraction. As usual, NONE OF THIS IS A DQ because that’s not what the script calls for. Rollins Sling Blades Wyatt and dives onto Harper to keep up the house cleaning. The superkick looks to set up the frog splash but Orton pulls him out of the air with an RKO for the elimination at 49:32.
So it’s Orton/Wyatt vs. Reigns with Roman starting fast to do what he can. Reigns is sent into the barricade but scores with the apron dropkick on Bray. Harper gets a spear and the Superman Punch drops Bray. Orton shoves Bray out of the way of the spear though and Sister Abigail finishes Reigns at 52:57. JBL: “RAW WINS! RAW WINS!” Otunga: “Smackdown got one!” JBL: “RAW WINS IS WHAT EVERYONE WANTED TO SAY BUT SMACKDOWN LIVE WINS!”
Rating: A-. This was a lot messier than it could have been but they did exactly what they needed to do here by eating up A LOT of time (longest Survivor Series match on record and longer than multiple Royal Rumbles) and being very entertaining at the same time. Bray winning is a very, very good idea as it’s now the biggest win of his career and hopefully (emphasis on that word) he can build on it. Orton taking the bullet was interesting though and that’s going to mean something going forward. I had a blast with this and it’s the big Survivor Series match I was hoping for, issues with eliminations aside.
We get the same Goldberg vs. Lesnar recap we’ve gotten for weeks now.
Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar
Lesnar drives him into the corner to start but Goldberg hits two spears in the first minute. The Jackhammer beats Lesnar in ONE MINUTE THIRTY SEVEN SECONDS!!!
SCREW YOU DEAN AMBROSE, RANDY ORTON, AND ANYONE ELSE THAT LESNAR HAS KILLED BECAUSE GOLDBERG JUST BEAT HIM IN A MINUTE AND A HALF!!!
The show goes off the air before 10:30 with nothing else happening.
Overall Rating: C-. The show ended about five minutes ago and I’m still in shock. HOW IN THE FREAKING WORLD DOES THIS HELP ANYONE OTHER THAN GOLDBERG, WHO ISN’T EVEN STICKING AROUND??? Have Orton, Reigns, Wyatt, freaking Strowman or ANYONE else do that match. You have Orton get squashed at Summerslam and Ambrose get squashed at Wrestlemania but GOLDBERG gets to do this?
So in theory, this has something to do with Goldberg coming into the show injured. If that’s the case, they knew this was going to be a short match. But they can’t even give the other two Survivor Series matches twenty minutes? This is what you extended the show for another hour? Or you can’t give anything else extra time?
I know I’m rambling here but this is one of the most astounding things I’ve ever seen. The money in Lesnar is gone for a long time, everything Lesnar has done in recent months and years feels like a total waste and Goldberg is probably gone until his Hall of Fame induction. Throw Luke Harper out there or Kane or ANYONE BUT LESNAR and it’s fine. Unless there was a major contractual issue or something big backstage, I cannot understand why this happened.
The rest of the show was up and down with the great long match helping to save it but that main event is all anyone is going to be talking about for a long time. I really could have gone for the two earlier Survivor Series matches getting more time, especially in light of what’s going on here. This is going to get a lot more talk in the upcoming days because I haven’t been this shocked since……probably Shane on Nitro.
Results
Team Raw Women b. Team Smackdown Women – Bayley to Belly to Lynch
The Miz b. Sami Zayn – Rollup
Team Raw Tag Teams b. Team Smackdown Tag Teams – Sharpshooter to Jimmy Uso
Brian Kendrick b. Kalisto via DQ when Baron Corbin interfered
Team Smackdown Men b. Team Raw Men – Sister Abigail to Reigns
Goldberg b. Brock Lesnar – Jackhammer
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2015 (2016 Redo): Has Anybody Seen My Ambrose?
Survivor Series 2015 Date: November 22, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 14,481
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Now this is an interesting one as I barely remember anything about it from just a year ago. The big story here is the World Title having to be decided in a tournament as Seth Rollins destroyed his knee and is out for a LONG time. Other than that, the big match is the Undertaker teaming with Kane against the Wyatt Family to celebrate 25 years since his debut with the company. Let’s get to it.
Oh and before we get going: ISIS was allegedly targeting this show for a terrorist attack. Nothing would come of the rumors but it got quite a bit of attention.
Pre-Show: Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas
The Cosmic Wasteland was a short lived mini stable comprised of Stardust and the Ascension. Goldust is a mystery partner, making his return after several months off due to a shoulder injury, to freak Stardust out. The brothers start things off but a right hand means it’s off to Viktor, who is powerslammed and pinned in about thirty seconds. I’d bet on that being an injury.
Titus and Konnor come in for the big power showdown, meaning a bunch of whips and slams which are supposed to mean more because they’re being done by bigger guys. D-Von gets a chant (for some reason) and a tag (because Titus wanted to come out), which means it’s time for What’s Up. The rest of the heels are sent outside for a big flip dive from Neville in a big crash.
Back from a break with Bubba Rock Bottoming Konnor for an elimination to make it 5-3. D-Von comes back in but gets beaten down to give the heels a little breather. A spinebuster drops Miz and that’s enough for the tag off to Neville for the quick kicks to the face. Dallas grabs a Bodog and a Skull Crushing Finale gives Miz the pin on Neville to get us down to 4-3, only to have Goldust roll Miz up to get the fall back.
We come back from a second break with Dallas holding Goldust in a chinlock before it’s off to Stardust for some brotherly stomping. The chinlocks continue and the remaining bad guys charge at the three remaining on the apron in a rare good shot for the villains. Goldust shows he’s really back with a Code Red of all things, allowing the tag off to Titus. The Clash of the Titus gets rid of Bo and a 3D finishes Stardust at 18:10. I have no idea why the announcers were talking about Gilligan’s Island for the last two falls but I’d bet on some form of subtext.
Rating: D+. This came and went but it’s fine for a way to warm the crowd up. At the end of the day you have a lot of people on the roster and it makes sense to throw people together like this in a nothing match. It’s almost like part of the point of the series in the first place. There’s not much to the match but Goldust returning was a nice little surprise.
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as a big middle finger to the terrorism charges. I actually liked this and she can sing the heck out of that song.
The opening video looks at the Undertaker because that’s really what this show is all about. The slow piano version of his theme is really cool. These recaps are actually really helpful because I had NO idea how we got to the Wyatts vs. the Brothers of Destruction. It turns out that they kidnapped Undertaker and Kane and now they’re fighting them because Bray and company are up there with Scooby-Doo villains when it comes to effectiveness. We also look at the tournament as an afterthought before going back to Undertaker and Kane.
WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio’s US Title isn’t on the line of course. What should be on the line is Roman’s career after the fans just erupt with boos during his entrance. Unfortunately this is also during the Zeb Colter period for Del Rio, which was just horrible on every level. They never clicked and there’s no way around that.
The booing turns into LET’S GO ROMAN/ROMAN SUCKS as Reigns hits a shoulder for the first offense. Alberto takes over outside but Roman hammers away back inside because he doesn’t have the strongest offense. The corner enziguri knocks Roman silly (that always looks great) and it’s time for the arm to go into the steps. We see HHH watching with a smile on his face after Reigns turned down a chance to be the Authority’s new protege because they’re still trying to redo Austin vs. McMahon.
A chinlock slows things down and Roman goes shoulder first into the post to make the arm even worse. The running clothesline drops Del Rio and Reigns’ good arm fires off the corner clotheslines. Del Rio gets in a Backstabber to take over again as this is going back and forth. They head to the corner so Del Rio can miss that still horribly stupid top rope double stomp and bang up his knee.
Not that it matters as it’s cross armbreaker into the rollup into the powerbomb but Roman can’t cover. Now the armbreaker goes on for a few seconds before Roman easily escapes (likely because it wasn’t on the arm Del Rio had worn down) and spears his way to the finals at 14:05.
Rating: B-. Standard Raw main event here and I don’t think anyone bought Del Rio was going to go to the finals. At the end of the day his main event run is LONG over at this point and there’s no reason to believe Reigns is going to be the first top level face in forever to submit to the armbreaker. The match was entertaining but really more of a way to kill time until the inevitable spear. That’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Ambrose praises Reigns for his win and Roman is happy to fight Dean for the title. That was pretty much the only possible ending to the tournament and everyone knew it when the brackets were revealed. Kevin Owens comes in after Ambrose leaves and thinks Reigns will screw up at the finish line all over again because Kevin himself will stop him.
WWE World Title Tournament Semifinals: Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose
Owens’ Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Kevin grabs a headlock as JBL goes into his ridiculous rant about how Ambrose can’t be the face of the company because he wouldn’t look good on the Tonight Show and on billboards as that’s pretty much just John Cena and John Cena alone.
Ambrose rakes Owens’ eyes across the top rope and slingshots out to the floor as the fans seem to be paying more attention to this one because there’s an actual chance either guy could win. It’s funny how that works. Dean gets crotched on the top and hit with the Cannonball (insert your Otto Wanz reference here because JBL has to use the same references every single time someone does a move), followed by a chinlock.
That goes nowhere so it’s the torture rack neckbreaker for another near fall. The two count means it’s time for some trash talking as only Owens can do. The fans are split again and I’m not sure if that’s good or bad. We’re right back to the chinlock (Owens: “CHINLOCK CITY BABY!”) before a double clothesline puts both guys down. Kevin misses his moonsault (good looking one too) and the standing elbow gets two.
They head up top with Owens countering a superplex into that sweet swinging fisherman’s superplex. Owens: “COLE TELL HIM TO STAY DOWN!” That’s one thing I love about Owens: he does stuff that feels out of nowhere because he’s a bit off. A trip to the floor means something like a gutbuster onto the announcers’ table but the Pop Up Powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana and Dirty Deeds sends Dean to the finals at 11:20.
Rating: B. I liked the energy here as it felt like a back and forth match with Owens not being able to keep Dean down and Dean just trying to sneak in anything he could at any time. It also helps that you could see Owens getting the win instead of waiting around until he got speared. That can do wonders and it made for a better match here.
TLC 2015 ad. I still love that video game theme.
We look at Undertaker’s debut and the rest of his career. Of note in that debut match: Roddy Piper said if anyone can figure out Undertaker, Bret Hart could do it. Over their careers, Undertaker never pinned Bret Hart (save for one house show) in a singles match.
Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus
Ryback, Usos, Lucha Dragons
Sheamus, King Barrett, New Day
There’s no real rhyme or reason to these teams so I picked two singles guys for the captains. Also I’m pretty sure this was a bonus match for the sake of filling in some time and, you know, it’s Survivor Series. Sheamus is Mr. Money in the Bank here. It’s also REALLY weird to see New Day as heels, though they’re definitely getting over as faces in a hurry. Atlanta native Xavier Woods has a rather impressive new hair style and Kofi brags about all the gold on their team. Sheamus: “And tonight, WE’RE GONNA GET JIGGY ON THESE POSERS!!! AM I RIGHT???” The silence is hilarious but Kofi turns it into NEW DAY ROCKS!
Jey and Woods get things going and Xavier’s wishes for untouched hair are quickly ignored. Kofi comes in and gets splashed by Cara (with an assist from the twins) before Sheamus comes in and gets sent outside. Actually all of the heels are sent outside for a quadruple dive, followed by Ryback diving onto all of them. I’m sure WWE stifled the creativity he really wanted to display with that dive though and his idea was shot down.
We reset to Barrett working on Jey’s ribs and the heels take over. Xavier busts out the trombone and dancing ensues with Barrett joining in for the GIF of the night. An enziguri is enough to set up the hot tag off to Jimmy for the house cleaning. The superkick sets up Cara’s Swanton Bomb to get rid of Barrett and make it 5-4.
It’s Kofi’s turn to get beaten up but he grabs Jimmy in a backbreaker, combined with a top rope double stomp from Woods to tie things up. Big E. spears Cara through the ropes and there’s the Brogue Kick for the elimination. That’s not cool with Big E. as he thinks Sheamus stole his pin (true) so Ryback jumps E. from behind, setting up the Superfly Splash to tie things up again. Actually let’s make that 3-1 as Kofi and Woods walk out, leaving Sheamus all by himself.
Sheamus slowly stomps on Kalisto and does the ten forearms. JBL: “It’s like a pub in Dublin!” Cole: “They have masked luchadors over there?” Jimmy comes back in for the running Umaga attack as Lawler talks about Doink. A few shots slow Ryback down but Jimmy kicks Sheamus into the Shell Shock for the pin at 17:33.
Rating: D+. So Sheamus just lost to an Uso, a Lucha Dragon and Ryback and we’re supposed to buy him as a future World Champion? I mean, I know they need to have him established as being in the building but can they really do nothing other than having him get pinned here? The match was fine but the energy died after New Day was gone. It’s almost like the whole “Sheamus isn’t interesting” thing is absolutely right.
We recap Team PCB (Remember them? Paige, Charlotte and Becky Lynch) splitting up with Paige turning on Charlotte, partially out of jealousy for Charlotte’s Divas Title.
Divas Title: Paige vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending and isn’t the most interesting face because heroines who are bigger, stronger and more athletic than most of their opponents aren’t really the best choices for the top of a division. Except Roman Reigns of course. He’s just that cool. We actually get Big Match Intros and Paige has blue highlights for a nice look.
Charlotte easily wrestles her down to the mat and the frustration is setting in. Some knees to the chest have Charlotte in trouble and Paige’s shouts get NOTHING from the crowd. Back in and we hit an abdominal stretch so she can shout about being the Divas Champion. A backpack Stunner gets the champ out of trouble and brings the match one step closer to a coma.
They trade kicks to the face and Paige escapes the Figure Four because it’s WAY too early for a submission. The hold wasn’t the right way to go so Charlotte puts her in an electric chair to drop Paige onto the apron. Back in and we hit the figure four neck lock so Charlotte can use those legs to torture her a bit. Charlotte goes shoulder first into the post, which Lawler thinks could be a game changer.
Paige grabs a crossface while bending Charlotte’s leg forward at the same time as this continues to go from spot to spot because there’s no real story. Like, they’re both doing fine and the match is entertaining but I have no reason to care about either one of them. It’s very TNA of them.
A neckbreaker out of the corner gets Charlotte out of trouble and the bad looking spear sets up Natural Selection. There’s no cover though as it heads outside with Paige sending her into the barricade. Paige then poses on that said barricade and gets tackled off for a big crash, followed by the Figure Eight back inside to retain the title at 14:10.
Rating: B-. The match was fine but like I said, there was just nothing to get excited over. The story here was a team splitting up to set up the title match but that story doesn’t work because when no one cared about the team in the first place because they were thrown together for the sake of a lame story. Good wrestling, horrible storytelling.
Earlier tonight, Ambrose said everyone knew this was coming and he’ll fight his brother with no regrets. Reigns comes in to say he’ll bring it and they’re cool no matter what.
Tyler Breeze vs. Dolph Ziggler
Breeze debuted a few weeks ago (and lost his first match) and hooked up with Summer Rae, who had recently split with Ziggler, thereby setting up the mini feud. They trade laying on the top rope before Ziggler snaps off a dropkick. Breeze is knocked outside for the spot that would normally take us to a break in a TV match. I mean, this is a TV match but it’s on pay per view because it got bumped from the pre-show for the sake of time.
Back in and Breeze slowly hammers away before grabbing a weak half crab. Ziggler dropkicks him out of the air and hits some running clotheslines into the neckbreaker. To be fair, he does touch his knee before doing the big jumping elbow for two. We hit the pinfall reversal sequence before Tyler kicks him in the knee and hits an Unprettier for the pin at 6:31.
Rating: D. Cole tried to make this out to be a huge win but at the end of the day, it’s a win in a TV match disguised as a pay per view match against the guy that everyone beats. Breeze was dead in the water when he debuted on Smackdown and lost his first match because it was in the tournament against Ambrose. Hence why Breeze is where he is today. Ziggler is basically in the same spot he’s been in for years: hovering in the midcard and being the exact same thing, save for an occasional bump up thanks to an actual interesting character in the Miz.
We recap the Brothers of Destruction vs. the Wyatts. Undertaker: “I’m creepy!” Bray: “I’m creepier than you!” Undertaker: “These young boys never learn.” Bray also kidnapped both of them….and then let them go because he’s weird that way.
Undertaker/Kane vs. Bray Wyatt/Luke Harper
The entrances take FOREVER with Undertaker’s going even longer than usual, though it’s a pretty special occasion. Before the bell rings, Undertaker and Kane have to beat up Rowan to fulfill a contractual requirement of any Wyatt match. Kane and Harper start, basically missing the purpose of the entire feud. A basement dropkick floors Luke and it’s off to Undertaker for a nice reaction.
Cole declares Undertaker the greatest of all time as Luke’s arm is cranked. Old School is broken up as JBL does his stat/history reading designed to sound like casual conversation and, as usual, it’s horrible. Bray gets beaten up a little bit and NOW Old School connects. This time it’s JBL talking about Undertaker doing Old School for 25 years straight because we need to ignore shows he wasn’t at and times when he didn’t do the move. It’s off to Kane, who Strowman throws through the announcers’ table.
Somehow that’s not a DQ so it’s Bray taking over on Kane as we wait on the inevitable Undertaker hot tag. Sister Abigail is countered and the running DDT allows the aforementioned tag. Undertaker gets clotheslined to the floor where Strowman takes the double chokeslam through the other announcers’ table. Sister Abigail gets two on Undertaker, we get the double situp to break Bray’s spider walk and it’s the chokeslam into a Tombstone to finish Harper at 10:41.
Rating: D. They would have been better off having Undertaker just fight Harper on his own here as there was no doubt on the win and the Wyatts lost any credibility they might have had. I’m cool with Undertaker getting the big moment on the big stage and all that jazz because twenty five years to the day is an impressive day but this was really just a way to waste about twenty minutes and talk about how great Undertaker is.
WWE World Title: Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose
The title is vacant coming in. Dean wins the early slugout but is taken outside and whipped into the barricade. The fans are all over Reigns as Dean hits the suicide dive, followed by an armbar to follow up on the earlier match. Some powerbombs get two on Dean and the Superman Punch is good for the same. Dean’s rebound lariat doesn’t do much good as Reigns spears him down for two. It’s really not a good sign that we’re at the first kickout of a finisher five minutes into a pay per view main event.
Another spear is blocked by a boot before the shirt spear is sent shoulder first into the post. Dirty Deeds gets two more and most of the crowd doesn’t seem to care, mainly because they’re hip to the trading finishers concept. They start slugging it out while sitting on the mat with Dean getting the better of it and hammering away in the corner….before he gets speared for the pin and the title at 9:02.
Rating: D+. What in the world was that? Reigns just pins him in nine minutes to win the title? There’s little drama, no surprise as everyone knew he was going to get the title here and barely any time for the match because all these other things needed to go so much longer. Reigns is a legitimate champion after beating four people to get the title but my goodness this was disappointing.
They take their sweet time celebrating as confetti falls….and here’s HHH. The boss offers a handshake and gets speared down, which Cole calls the most important moment in Reigns’ career. Cue Sheamus and the title match is on.
WWE World Title: Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns
Brogue Kick gets two, second Brogue Kick makes Sheamus champion at 34 seconds. Where did Dean go while this was happening?
The heels celebrate and Reigns looks like he’s about to cry to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. I remember liking this at first but sweet goodness this does not hold up. So there’s a tournament with the most obvious final ever and the most obvious winner ever and then “oh wait never mind because Sheamus cashes in because Money in the Bank ruins everything). The semifinal matches were fine for big time Raw main events but that’s not what people remember and/or care about. This show was about Reigns winning the title and then they screw that over for the “surprise” ending.
What’s even worse is where this would go. Reigns would go into Superman mode and win the title twenty two days later when he beat Sheamus on Raw, making this a huge waste of time and two cheap title reigns in a row. Sheamus is not a main event talent and this does more harm to Reigns than good. Just have Reigns fend off the cash-in attempt and hold the title until the HHH win in the Royal Rumble. Everything winds up the same and you don’t have the lame story and lame ending to this show.
Other than the World Title scene, we have the mess that is the rest of the card. The only other thing that matters here is the Undertaker match, which was a cool moment with the setup but a really bad match and another moment with the Wyatts losing for the sake of giving Undertaker another big win. The women’s match was fine albeit ice cold, the Survivor Series match had no story and was just a way to have New Day be funny and Breeze vs. Ziggler was advertised and therefore had to take place.
Now to be fair, they had to change A TON of stuff for the sake of the tournament and that’s not on them. What is on them is going with the “surprise” factor over logical storytelling. Sheamus is a multiple time World Champion and a Money in the Bank winner but that doesn’t mean he’s someone people want to see on top of the card at this point. If they want Reigns to be a top star, they need to let him be a top star. A five minute title reign after a bad match isn’t the way to go about that.
Ratings Comparison
Dudley Boyz/Goldust/Neville/Titus O’Neil vs. Cosmic Wasteland/Miz/Bo Dallas
Original: C
Redo: D+
Roman Reigns vs. Alberto Del Rio
Original: B
Redo: B-
Kevin Owens vs. Dean Ambrose
Original: B-
Redo: B
Team Ryback vs. Team Sheamus
Original: C
Redo: D+
Paige vs. Charlotte
Original: C-
Redo: B-
Dolph Ziggler vs. Tyler Breeze
Original: C-
Redo: D
Brothers of Destruction vs. Wyatt Family
Original: D+
Redo: D
Roman Reigns vs. Dean Ambrose
Original: D
Redo: D+
Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns
Original: N/A
Redo: N/A
Overall Rating
Original: C-
Redo: D
I was WAY too kind to this one the first time around. The last hour and a half is dreadful.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Survivor Series Count-Up – 2014: I Still Can’t Believe It
Survivor Series 2014 Date: November 23, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
Now this is going to be an interesting one as the whole show is built around one match and that one match’s big surprise. Last year they made no secret about the show being entirely built around one single match, which wound up making the way to make the whole thing work. That one match is Team Cena vs. Team Authority for Cena and company’s jobs vs. the Authority having power. The jobs were thrown in at the last minute to really hammer home who was going to win but that’s not always the worst thing. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
This is the NEW AND IMPROVED Fandango, meaning he has Rosa Mendes and now wears a white shirt. We’re ready to go after the dance sequence that kills even more time. They slowly punch each other to start with Gabriel, who has skeleton tights for no apparent reason (JBL: “The leftovers from Giant Gonzalez.”), getting knocked to the floor.
Back in and Justin breaks out of a chinlock and gets two off a springboard kick to the face. For someone who flies around as much as Gabriel, the fans are almost totally silent. A suplex slam (as in a suplex where Fandango never left his feet) takes Gabriel down and the guillotine legdrop is good enough to put Justin away at 3:10.
Rating: D-. You know how Fandango still hasn’t done anything since his “rebirth” here? After this match it really surprises me that he still has a job as this was so horribly boring. Naturally they did the same match again the next night on Raw because maybe they just didn’t get the point across here. Really boring match.
Pre-Show: Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger
The battle of the former Real Americans. On the way to the ring, Cesaro talks about the history of Swiss neutrality before picking Team Authority. He proclaims his allegiance in various languages (which is NOTHING that could ever be capitalized in around the world) until Swagger and Colter come in to pick Team Cena. Swagger gets a quick rollup for two to start, earning himself a gutwrench suplex.
The Patriot Lock has Cesaro in early trouble but he’s still able to throw Swagger down with a German suplex. More suplexes set up a chinlock. Back up and Swagger grabs a German of his own, followed by a chop block to stay on the leg. The Vader Bomb is blocked but Swagger grabs the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere and more Germans are rolled, only to have Swagger counter into the Patriot Lock again for the submission at 5:23.
Rating: C-. They crammed a lot of suplexes into just five minutes. This also shows you how much better a match can be if you have interesting people in there. Swagger isn’t the best in the world but there’s at least a reason to care about him and more than one note to his character. I’ll take Cesaro being all serious and speaking different languages over HE’S A DANCER IN A WHITE SHIRT any day.
The opening video recaps the main event, which was set up on Vince’s whim. That’s the problem with so much of what the Authority does: whatever happens can be changed by either the two of them or Vince because they’re the ultimate powers. No matter how the story goes, someone with power can come in and change anything at the drop of a hat. Why hasn’t Vince come back and changed something else on a whim? Eh no real reason other than the plot hasn’t called for it. That’s really bad writing.
Here’s Vince to open things up with talking. Vince talks (see, I told you that’s what he was going to do) about how epic this is really going to be and brings out the Authority because we haven’t heard from them in the first five minutes. The sucking up begins immediately but Vince cuts them off to bring out Cena.
Vince recaps the main event as we’re just burning through pay per view time here. Cena asks if the Authority will leave on their own accord if they lose tonight. HHH says that Cena is going to have a bad holiday because four men’s responsibilities will be on his head after tonight. Those four men are going to be forgotten about because they’re the ones with everything to lose. Cena will keep his job because he’s such a big star, but he’ll have that on his head forever.
Stephanie suggests that someone on Team Cena will turn on him because they have to think of themselves. She says the Authority will still have their jobs at headquarters and run things from afar, but Vince says not so fast. They’ll still have desk jobs and be in charge of different departments but they’ll have no authority on screen.
One more thing: if the Authority does lose tonight, only Cena can bring them back. That’s the moment where they gave away the ending and everyone knew the Authority would be back by the end of the year at the latest. Stephanie goes into full STEPHANIE IS SHOUTING mode but Cena says the Authority will lose tonight.
So to recap the recap (which took us to fifteen minutes into the show): the Authority will still have jobs and huge salaries but they just don’t have to deal with the headaches of running the show. On top of that, Cena can bring them back because FOREVER means until Cena says otherwise. This is all stuff that could have been done on Raw but why not waste pay per view time on it. I know their line is “But it’s a free month on the Network!” That’s not an excuse to do something stupid like this as it’s a really bad way to get the show going when this could have been done in five minutes on any given TV show.
Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Los Matadores vs. Goldust/Stardust
Goldust and Stardust (villains here) are defending and Mizdow is one of the most popular guys on the roster because of how hard he’s been working with the stunt double character. Diego and Stardust start things off as Cole reads Stardust’s latest riddle. A quick rollup gets two on Stardust before it’s off to Miz who is stopped by OLE! Mizdow does his stunt double stuff on the floor as JBL talks about Papa Shango putting a curse on Mizdow years ago. This isn’t a rousing start to the commentary tonight.
Miz won’t tag out, again missing the point of having a stunt double. Jey comes in to chop Diego but Goldust tags himself in and chinlocks the Samoan. The fans continue to want Mizdow but Stardust waves them off and uppercuts Jey instead. This time it’s Miz tagging himself in but Fernando tags Jey and flips off the top and onto Miz.
It’s FINALLY off to Mizdow, only to have Goldust tag himself in ten seconds later to bring the crowd back to silence. Lawler brings up a great point: if Mizdow comes in and Miz is on the apron, shouldn’t Mizdow just stand there? Stardust comes in and stomps Fernando before cranking on both arms to slow things down a bit. Goldust stomps Fernando on the floor (brothers think alike) and we hit the chinlock. Things stay slow as we hear about Grumpy Cat appearing on Raw. I had been trying to forget that guys.
Stardust loads up what looks like a Tombstone but Fernando spins out into a tornado DDT (good one too) and it’s off to Jimmy. Now we pick things up a bit with the Usos cleaning house with Umaga attacks and superkicks (and a shaking camera, which has happened multiple times tonight). Goldust powerslams Jimmy down for two but the double Uso dive takes down a few people.
There’s the Falling Star from Stardust, giving us this brilliant exchange: Cole: “That’s the Falling Star!” “JBL: “I have no idea what that is!” Cole: “It’s the Falling Star!” JBL: “I know!” Torito gets thrown onto the pile and Diego does the same. Back in and a quadruple Tower of Doom takes down Los Matadores and the champs, allowing Mizdow to tag himself in and pin Goldust for the titles at 15:25.
Rating: C. This was a big longer than it needed to be but the payoff was exactly what it needed to be. There was no reason to wait any longer on giving Mizdow something and this opens the door for some new possibilities in the story. The match was fun but they could have cut out a few minutes to make it flow better. It’s fun enough though (annoying commentary aside) and a good way to open the show, after the long talking of course.
Miz takes both titles and Mizdow keeps posing.
Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting Raw. As usual, WWE is about ten years behind the pop culture times.
Vince will be on the Steve Austin Show. Now that could be entertaining and it kind of was if I remember correctly.
Adam Rose and the Bunny do a toy commercial until Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil come in to set up a match for later. Fans: “NO! NO! NO!” Is it bad that I miss the Bunny and wanted to see more of him?
Team Paige vs. Team Team Fox
Paige, Cameron, Summer Rae, Layla
Alicia Fox, Natalya, Emma, Naomi
Natalya is accompanied by Tyson Kidd, who clearly doesn’t care in a great short run character. Paige and Natalya start things off on the mat and we hit the King’s Court reference which turns into a discussion of Lawler having a foursome. Paige is sent to the floor for a quick spank from Natalya (because of course) before it’s off to Layla vs. Emma, neither of whom are still on the main roster. Lawler: “Emma could trip over cordless phones.” That’s not very hard to do King.
It’s back to Paige for a headbutt and THIS IS MY HOUSE. How can she afford this many houses? Cameron comes in to break up a tag attempt and this could go badly. The fans want Mizdow again and good grief it’s the Daniel Bryan story all over again. You just had him for fifteen minutes when he won a title. Be happy with what you got and shut up already. Emma rolls over and tags Naomi for the big showdown that no one wanted to see. Naomi runs through Cameron and a bad looking wheelbarrow Stunner gets two.
Everything breaks down and Cameron does an awful bulldog, allowing Naomi to roll her up for the elimination at 6:12. Summer kicks Naomi down to take over, only to miss a splash. Fox comes in as the announcers ignore the match to talk about old Survivor Series teams. The heels bail so Fox tries to get a CHICKEN chant started. It’s off to Layla for her bouncy cross body but a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gives Alicia the elimination at 9:29.
Summer comes in and misses a charge, allowing Natalya to dropkick her down. It’s off to Paige who takes over, only to have Summer do Paige’s scream and get decked as a result. Emma comes in for the Dilemma, a forearm to Paige on the apron and the Emma Lock for the submission on Summer at 12:04. So Paige is all alone and starts with Emma, who quickly faceplants her down. Natalya eats a superkick so it’s off to Naomi for the Rear View and the headscissors DDT for the final pin at 14:16.
Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness the Divas Revolution needed to happen soon. This match felt like it was going on forever with almost none of them looking like they should have been out there this long. Between “CHICKEN! CHICKEN!” and Layla’s face offense under the guise of a heel and Cameron being the disaster that only she can be, this was horrible with Paige and Natalya not being able to hold it together.
Kidd, who didn’t do a thing all match, celebrates more than anyone else in a great touch. That’s the highlight of the last fifteen minutes.
We recap the pre-show, which also included the return of Bad News Barrett. As usual, Cesaro gets left out. The best part: Renee Young with long hair. I had forgotten about that and it says a lot that she’s just as beautiful with her hair hacked off.
The panel talks for a bit.
We recap Bray Wyatt vs. Dean Ambrose, which started when Wyatt targeted Ambrose in October for whatever reason Bray picks his next target. There was something about Dean’s dad being in prison but it was never really explained. Ambrose said he didn’t care why Wyatt did it anyway so it didn’t really matter. Tonight is the first match.
Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt
They slug it out to start (shocking) before heading outside (even more shocking) where Dean takes over with some clotheslines. Back in and Bray runs Dean over before knocking a dive out of the air with a right hand. I can never get used to Bray’s blood red tattoos as they always fool me. We hit a seated full nelson on Dean (always nice to see them mix up the rest holds) before he fights up for a double cross body.
They go outside for the third time for a double clothesline and both guys are down again. Back in and Dean takes over before doing Bray’s lean upside down out of the corner in a nice touch. Dean ties him in the ropes and kisses Bray on the head before a dropkick and legdrop get two. Bray counters the Rebound Lariat into a release Rock Bottom for two as this match really hasn’t taken off yet.
The middle rope backsplash misses because it would have killed Dean and the top rope elbow gets two for Ambrose. Back up and Bray EXPLODES with a clothesline and he makes it even worse with another Rock Bottom onto the steps. That’s only good for two so Bray grabs a mic and says they could have ruled the world together. Dean has chosen his path though so Bray grabs a chair and drops to his knees like he did with Cena at Wrestlemania. Dean isn’t Cena though and he hits Bray with the chair for the DQ at 14:00.
Rating: C+. Much like the Cena match at Wrestlemania, this felt a lot more like it was designed to set up something else (which it was) instead of being a big showdown. Bray’s babbling gets to the point where you stop caring what he’s talking about and that doesn’t make for the most interesting matches. No matter how you look at it, the whole thing always feels like you’re waiting on the next big thing, which gets repetitive in a hurry. It’s still a fun brawl though and got going after the first few minutes.
Post match Dean lays Bray out and elbows him through a table. That’s not enough for him as he buries Bray under another table and a pile of chairs. That’s only T and C though so why not pull out a ladder? Dean climbs the ladder but is all like “this is the free month so you have to pay to see me dive off.” Referees won’t let him shove the ladder onto the pile either.
The Authority gives their team a long pep talk, including Stephanie crying at the thought of only having a huge salary and working in an office. This is one of the problems of having such a big main event: there’s so much time to fill which certainly couldn’t have been filled with another Survivor Series match. This talk eats up WAY too much time and is summed up as “we’re betting everything we have tonight so win or else.”
Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil
Slater and the Bunny get things going but Rose tags himself in quickly. Heath gets him on the mat before it’s off to Titus for some forearms to the back. Rose dives over and makes the tag. Lawler: “Maybe we should explain why there’s a bunny in the ring.” Cole: “Well it’s actually a man in a bunny suit.” Good grief just start speaking gibberish to us since they clearly think we’re that stupid. The Bunny pins Slater off a middle rope dropkick.
The Rosebuds leave with the Bunny.
More commercials. Counting the opener, the pep talk and all these commercials, there’s probably been seventeen minutes wasted, or about the same amount of time spent on a quick Survivor Series match.
The injured Roman Reigns has a satellite interview where he talks about wanting to be here punching people. We’ll make it nineteen minutes of filler. Reigns will be back in a month.
Team Cena says they’re ready.
Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. AJ Lee
AJ is defending and Nikki has Brie as her unwilling assistant. After the big match intros and Brie gets on the apron for a distraction, followed by kissing AJ (and launching a thousand fanfics). The Rack Attack gives us a new champion at 38 seconds in the Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus finish. Allegedly this was the way the match was going the entire time and it wasn’t cut down, making me shake my head even more.
Of course the sisters are back together with an eventual explanation of “we’re sisters.”
Ambrose vs. Wyatt is announced for TLC in the namesake match.
We recap the main event. The Authority is all corrupt so Vince came in and said let’s put their power up against Team Cena. John put together a team of the few people who would fight with him so the Authority made them as miserable as they could. It’s a simple story but they’ve made this feel like a legitimately huge match.
Team Cena vs. Team Authority
John Cena, Big Show, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan
Seth Rollins, Kane, Rusev, Mark Henry, Luke Harper
Cena’s partners’ jobs vs. the Authority’s authority. Harper is Intercontinental Champion and Rusev is the undefeated US Champion. The eleven entrances eat up even more time but in a good way this time. They’ve done a really good job at making this feel like a big deal and it’s working well here. Henry and Show start but HHH has to get in one last pep talk, allowing Show to knock him out for the elimination at 50 seconds.
It’s Rollins in next but Show chops him down to the floor. Kane comes in but Show drags him into the corner for the tag off to Cena, who pounds on Kane even more. Now we get a showdown that the fans find bigger than it probably is with Rowan vs. Harper. This was during that short period where Rowan was a genius, which has been completely forgotten since. Rollins tags himself back in before anything can happen and is immediately caught in the wrong corner.
Ryback comes in to join in on the fun but Rollins tags out to Harper. That’s fine with Ryback as he grabs a vertical suplex, only to get punched in the face by Kane. The big bald is beaten down as well so we’ll try Rusev. A spinebuster ends the slugout but Shell Shock is broken up. Everything breaks down and it’s a Curb Stomp from Rollins and the jumping superkick from Rusev to eliminate Ryback and tie us up.
Show comes back in but Rusev escapes a quick chokeslam attempt and brings in Harper. A dropkick of all things puts Show down and it’s back to Kane for some stomping. Kane follows Harper’s suit with a (basement) dropkick, followed by the Gator Roll (he’s stopped using that) from Harper. Show throws Harper away too so it’s off to Ziggler, who Harper beat (through some shenanigans) to win the title.
The heels start taking over on Ziggler with Kane’s sidewalk slam getting two. A comeback is stopped by a boot to the face and it’s off to Rusev for some knees to the ribs. Ziggler tries to punch Rollins in the face but gets caught in a downward spiral into the corner. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the running DDT plants Rusev. Everything breaks down again and we hit the parade of finishers (always a favorite).
Rollins is thrown onto a pile but Rusev throws Ziggler onto that pile. It’s time to load up the announcers’ table but Rusev misses Ziggler and splashes through the table instead, leading to a countout at 21:02 to make it 4-3. Cole: “COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COUNTOUTS ARE A FACTOR! COME ON DOLPH! COME ON DOLPH! ZIGGLER’S IN! ZIGGLER’S IN! RUSEV IS OUT! RUSEV IS OUT!” Get the parrot a cracker and shut him up already.
Back in and the exhausted Ziggler tags Cena for a quick AA to Kane. Rollins makes the save with a Curb Stomp and everyone is down. A double tag brings in Harper and Rowan with Erick cleaning house. Kane’s chokeslam is broken up but the springboard knee from Rollins sets up Harper’s discus lariat to put Rowan out at 24:14. So it’s Show/Cena/Ziggler vs. Rollins/Kane/Harper and we get a big six man staredown….until Show KO’s Cena, turning heel again to fill his quota for the year. Rollins steals the pin to eliminate Cena at 25:11. Now THAT is a shock.
Show stares down at the Authority and then walks out at 26:30, leaving Ziggler down 3-1. Ziggler can barely stand after the long beating he took but it’s now the Shawn formula in 2005. The fans want Orton (who was put out by Rollins a few weeks ago but why have the hometown boy here to make the save when you can have him on a movie set instead? To make it worse, Stephanie chants “OH YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH!” in what was supposed to be cheerleading.
Kane throws Ziggler into the barricade and Rollins drags him over to the corner for some tags to the eliminated partners. Kane’s superplex is broken up though and a quick superkick and Zig Zag make it 2-1 at 29:35. Harper is right in though and kicks Ziggler’s head off to send him outside, followed by a nice suicide shove. A great sounding superkick gets two on Ziggler and the sitout powerbomb amazingly only gets the same. Ziggler somehow grabs a rollup (and jeans) for a fast elimination at 31:35, leaving us one on one.
Dolph can barely stand but he still grabs a DDT for two. Rollins has way more gas though and hammers Ziggler down, only to miss a top rope knee. The Fameasser gets two out of nowhere as HHH and Stephanie are losing their minds on the outside. Noble and Mercury are dispatched and the Zig Zag connects but HHH pulls the referee out at two.
The J’s are dispatched again and Stephanie is knocked off the apron (onto HHH of course because Heaven forbid she not have a soft landing). Another Curb Stomp misses and there’s a second Zig Zag for two with HHH breaking up the pin one more time. HHH beats on Ziggler for a bit and hits a Pedigree…..and there’s a crow.
In one of the biggest surprises of all time, STING makes his WWE debut (with JBL listing off his resume to make sure you know this was planned in advance) and HHH is in shock. Sting decks HHH’s crooked referee and does the big staredown with HHH, setting up the Death Drop (sold really well too). Sting pulls Ziggler on top of Rollins (who hasn’t moved in over six minutes) for the final pin at 44:07.
Rating: A. I liked this even better knowing what was coming. They did a really good job of setting up the story here as both teams were in enough trouble at different points to keep it interesting with the Cena elimination being the biggest of them all. I was genuinely surprised when that happened and it holds up well enough as a moment today. The near falls near the end were great as well, making this a really great match. This should have been a total star making performance for Ziggler but since WWE is in charge, it was pretty much forgotten in about a month.
HHH looks like reality sets in while Stephanie shows her horrible acting skills one more time. For once I’m fine with the focus being on them but good grief that screeching is killing it. On top of that, everyone knew they would be back sooner than later and it didn’t even last a month.
Overall Rating: B-. This is the definition of a one match show and thankfully that one match delivered because the rest of this show was pretty horrible. Everything from the end of Ambrose vs. Wyatt to the start of the main event was a waste of time or boring, as was so often the case in WWE at this point. The main event bails the show out, but that’s the ONLY thing worth watching on here.
Ratings Comparison
Fandango vs. Justin Gabriel
Original: D
2015 Redo: D-
Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger
Original: C-
2015 Redo: C-
Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Goldust/Stardust vs. Los Matadores
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King of the Ring 2002 (2016 Redo): It’s Not Like It Matters
King of the Ring 2002 Date: June 23, 2002
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Attendance: 14,198
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
I haven’t been looking forward to this one and I have a feeling that’s going to be proven right. The triple main event is Hulk Hogan vs. Kurt Angle, HHH vs. Undertaker for the World Title and the tournament final, none of which would be interesting in the first place but here they’re getting a ton of focus. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of some great King of the Ring winners with 1995 obviously being omitted. Does anyone want to see Savio Vega anyway? The regular opening video talks about the tournament and the two regular matches, as you would expect.
The awesome huge metal chair is back but unfortunately Kurt Angle and Shane McMahon won’t be beating the heck out of each other around its legs this year.
King of the Ring Semifinals: Rob Van Dam vs. Chris Jericho
Non-title. Jericho works on the arm to start as they’re going pretty slowly here, suggesting there’s going to be a lot of time for this one. That’s not a bad thing either as I’d rather two talented guys get time than two people who are going to kill the crowd right off the bat. Both guys try dropkicks so we have a standoff, meaning it’s time for Van Dam’s signature post.
A quick kick to the face sends Jericho outside, setting up the required flip dive. Back in and the referee is sent into the ropes to crotch Rob on top, setting up a butterfly superplex for two. Jericho unhooks a turnbuckle pad because that was only done in Thursday’s main event so it’s more than long enough. The running crotch attack only hits the ropes but Jericho kicks him down and starts cranking on the arms.
Back up and a springboard kick to the face gives Rob two, followed by the cartwheel moonsault for the same. Jericho shrugs off a few more kicks and sends Rob into the exposed buckle for two. The Lionsault gets the same and the Walls send Van Dam bailing for the ropes. They head up top so Jericho can get shoved off and very obviously crawl to the middle of the ring so the Five Star can put him away.
Rating: C+. Just a match really, which isn’t the best thing in the world. There wasn’t much heat here and the near falls didn’t get either guy anywhere. Jericho has just been crippled since the title reign ended and he’s in a big need of some freshening up. Van Dam going forward to face Lesnar was obvious but I was expecting a lot more here.
Lawler goes in to talk to Van Dam but Jericho chairs Rob down and puts him in the Walls.
Heyman fires Brock up.
King of the Ring Semifinals: Test vs. Brock Lesnar
Why they’re even bothering with this is beyond me. Brock sends him into the corner for the shoulders to the ribs as the GOLDBERG chants start up. A hard clothesline puts Brock down and Test hammers away in the corner, actually to some avail. More shoulders to the ribs have Lesnar right back in control and he throws Test around with ease.
A belly to back suplex gives Brock two, followed by a powerslam for another delayed two. The side slam and full nelson slam get two on Brock, followed by the pumphandle slam for the nearest fall in Lesnar’s career to date. The big boot makes it even worse and the fans actually buy into the two count this time. Test loads it up again….right in front of Heyman. I think you can figure out the next step and how it sets up Brock’s F5 to advance to the finals.
Rating: C-. This could have been a lot worse as Brock needed to survive a slugout. I know Test wasn’t the best choice here and it would have made more sense to have him go over someone like Bubba here (which wouldn’t have been possible due to the Raw vs. Smackdown rules) but Test actually lived above his head here.
Bubba Ray Dudley says he’ll bounce back but picks…..well no one in the finals actually.
Lance Storm and Christian would rather rant about people being anti-Canadian instead of picking a winner.
Cruiserweight Title: Hurricane vs. Jamie Noble
Noble is challenging after his girlfriend stole Hurricane’s gear for reasons that aren’t quite clear, mainly because they’ve blazed through this story. Helms takes it straight to the mat to start but can’t get anywhere. Instead he goes with the opposite by superkicking the heck out of Noble.
Speaking of Nidia, she completely misses while trying to trip Hurricane, who doesn’t sell the thing, thank goodness. The distraction lets Noble get in a shot from behind to take over though and things slow down again. An electric chair gets two for Jamie and it’s off to a seated abdominal stretch. That’s switched into a sleeper for a few moments before Hurricane comes right back with a neckbreaker and jumping clothesline.
The Overcast gets the same and frustration is setting in. With nothing else working, Hurricane grabs the cape and throws Jamie outside for a high crossbody, sans cape of course. Jamie gets right back up and takes Hurricane to the top but the champ grabs a super swinging neckbreaker of all things for a huge crash. Nidia climbs onto and is promptly knocked off the apron, setting up a chokeslam for two on Noble. Hurricane gets crotched on top though and a powerbomb gives Jamie the title with Nidia shoving Hurricane’s foot off the ropes.
Rating: C. Well that happened. The ending really sucked the life out of this one as it was really picking up until then. Nidia continues to be completely useless but she won some reality show and therefore has to be around. Noble isn’t a great heel but he’s a great character and I have no issue with him winning the title. The division has the potential to go somewhere at the moment but there’s a lot of work to be done.
The replay shows that even though Nidia moved the foot off the ropes, Hurricane’s hand was under the ropes. She really can’t do anything right.
Eddie Guerrero isn’t worried about ticking Ric Flair off because he needs to say hi to his family, name by name. This of course includes Little Timmy, the foster kid they picked up off the street, leaving Terri stunned. Or maybe that’s just how she looks in general.
Eddie Guerrero vs. Ric Flair
Feeling out process to start with Eddie showing Flair up a bit in the athleticism department until a big chop sends him outside. A low blow has Eddie in trouble but, as always, it’s cool when Flair cheats as a face. Back in and Eddie stomps away in the corner before starting in on the knee. Flair’s leg is wrapped around the post and then the ropes, meaning we get some very un-PG language from Ric.
Of course we hit the Figure Four because all Flair matches must see him put in the Figure Four. Flair eventually (and I mean very eventually) gets out so Eddie grabs a chinlock. JR isn’t sure on the strategy as it would make sense to stay on the legs but maybe he doesn’t understand lucha. A suplex sets up the frog splash but Flair rolls away before Eddie even dives.
Guerrero does the splash anyway and the crash means it’s time to start in on Eddie’s legs. This brings out Chris Benoit as the Figure Four goes on. That’s broken as well and they can’t seem to do the bridge into a backslide spot. Eddie can however hit a tornado DDT for two and Benoit pulls Ric to the floor for the Crossface. The referee quickly ejects the Canadian (Maybe Storm and Christian are onto something) and it’s Bubba Ray running in with a Bubba Bomb to give Flair the cheap pin.
Rating: C. This was much more long than good and that’s not really a positive sign. The ending was more confusing than anything else, unless it’s ANOTHER wrestler signing up to pay tribute to Flair. It didn’t help that the fans didn’t seem to care and the wrestling wasn’t exactly inspired stuff. Still though, not the worst and I’d rather this get the extra time than something else.
William Regal and Chris Nowinski are annoyed at the service at the World. That’s your transition to the Women’s Title match.
Women’s Title: Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly
Molly is challenging after Trish, the face in this feud, laughed at her for being allegedly fat. Trish is annoyed at Molly for using Trish’s own underwear to choke her, which is apparently the real injustice in this feud. The champ gets taken down into an armbar as Lawler wants to know what color thong JR might wear. Trish gets two off a neckbreaker and a modified victory roll gets the same. They’re setting a really fast pace here and it’s working so far.
A trip to the floor sees Trish sent into the crowd before coming back in with the Stratusphere. They slug it out and Trish hits the Chick Kick but gets German suplexed for two. Molly misses the Molly Go Round and JR thinks she might have broken the ring. I’ll let that one go as Molly grabs a rollup and the tights for the pin and the title. Lawler: “It was survival of the fattest!”
Rating: B-. Several points for the action here and several dozen more taken away for the angle and commentary. Remember when Michelle McCool and Mickie James did a similar story and it was called bad taste even though McCool was the heel? Well here it’s Trish being treated as the face for the exact same thing. I still can’t believe I’m watching this but hopefully this wraps it up.
Angle wants to know why he and Hogan are both considered American heroes. After all, Hogan is only considered a hero because Vince wanted him to be. “If Mr. McMahon wanted Hogan to be a zookeeper, Hogan would be a zookeeper!”
We recap Hogan vs. Angle, which is over Vince wanting to screw with Hogan for wanting to retire. Angle seems to be Vince’s first goon to go after Hogan, which doesn’t really make sense. If Vince wants to keep Hogan around, why is he sending someone out there who could hurt him? Wouldn’t it make more sense, and embarrass Hogan more, to have him at the bottom of the card?
Kurt Angle vs. Hulk Hogan
They fight over headlocks and top wristlocks to start until Angle is powered out to the floor. So far they’ve just had Angle run around and bounce off Hogan, which is pretty easily their best possible outcome. Back in and Hogan sends him head first into the buckle nine times before a low blow puts Hulk down.
Kurt gets two off a belly to back suplex because Hogan would probably break after one German suplex, let alone the rolling version. A sleeper into a chinlock has Hogan down as the announcers debate which of these two have more fans in Iraq. The Angle Slam gets two but Hogan comes back with the big boot. There’s no legdrop though as Hogan goes for the wig. Naturally he puts it on and Angle’s chair shot hits himself in the head. The legdrop is countered into the legdrop though and Hogan starts rolling…..but he actually taps out a few feet from the ropes.
Rating: D. You could tell Angle was working WAY more slowly than usual here but the ending was the right call. There comes a point where there’s no way to accept Hogan being able to hang with someone at Angle’s level and Hulk tapping out because he just couldn’t keep up was the right move. Now if Hogan drops way down the card and leaves the main event picture alone, everything will be fine.
Goldust is dressed up as Rock, much to Booker’s dismay. We actually get a heck of an impression until the real thing pops up behind Goldust, who immediately begs off. Rock shows him the proper way to do FINALLY so Goldust starts rubbing his chest. Booker says don’t worry about Goldust because Rock is jumping in the wrong face. Goldust: “What about me?”
He tries a few catchphrases of his own before backing away because it’s not his style. Booker liked the speech so Goldust does the chest rub again, messing with Rock even more. Rock is here to watch the main event because the title is bigger than the People’s Elbow, the Spinarooni and, to Goldust, “What do you do? You got a finishing move?” Goldust talks about the ammunition in his cannon to finally send Rock over the edge. Rock: “STOP RUBBING YOURSELF MAN!” Everyone uses a catchphrase though Booker cuts Goldust off again. Funny stuff here, as you would expect.
King of the Ring: Brock Lesnar vs. Rob Van Dam
Non-title again of course. Rob hits and runs to start, including a few kicks to the legs. Brock takes as much as he’s going to though and crushes Van Dam with a powerslam. Some backbreakers set up the bearhug until some more kicks get Rob out of trouble. Rolling Thunder gets two and there’s the Five Star, only to have Heyman snap Rob’s throat across the ropes…..sending Rob onto Lesnar for two in a great false finish. The F5 makes Brock King a few seconds later.
Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash, even though Rob got in most of his signature stuff. The win wasn’t clean as Rob couldn’t get a good cover and took a little extra time due to the Heyman interference so it’s not as bad of a loss as it could be. Lesnar isn’t ready for the main event but they have to put someone new in that spot, especially with Austin gone.
HHH runs into Kevin Nash and Shawn Michaels, who offer their help tonight if needed.
We recap HHH vs. Undertaker with HHH challenging after beating Hogan and….that’s it actually. There’s really no reason to care about him and there’s not much to their feud other than Undertaker has the title and they’ve punched each other a lot.
Heyman jumps in on commentary to say the winner of this is keeping the title warm for Lesnar until Summerslam.
WWE World Title: Undertaker vs. HHH
HHH is challenging and comes out second for no apparent reason. They slug it out to start (get used to that kind of exchange) with neither really getting an advantage. HHH mixes it up with a choke before the fight heads outside for more punching. The slow punching continues until Undertaker misses a running boot in the corner. A modified Snake Eyes gets Undertaker out of trouble and he drops an elbow for two.
Somehow we’re five minutes into this already and they’re both looking tired. Even more punching, this time on the floor, goes to Undertaker and a legdrop gets two. HHH breaks up a superplex and scores with a backdrop as Heyman goes on about Lesnar beating Rock up backstage. A turnbuckle pad is ripped off (third time in two shows) but Undertaker is sent into it back first, setting up a neckbreaker for no cover. The jumping knee gets two more….and the ref gets bumped.
Cue the Rock to take Heyman’s place on commentary as Undertaker grabs a chair. HHH knocks it away and sends Undertaker outside where he kicks Rock in the face. Rock hits HHH in the head with the chair by mistake and we’ve got some blood. After sending Rock into the post, Undertaker gets a delayed two off a Last Ride and this crowd is just gone.
The new ref gets bumped and it’s a Rock Bottom for Undertaker. Rock just leaves and HHH gets the slowest cover in years for another two. The Pedigree connects but since this is a main event match, Earl Hebner is STILL DOWN after nearly ten minutes. HHH goes to wake him up but it’s a low blow into a rollup with trunks and ANOTHER ridiculously slow count retains the title.
Rating: F. You’ll often hear people joke about how they think they’re watching something in slow motion but that actually happened to me here. The ref was down for so long and the falls too so long that I really did forget that the show was still going at regular speed. This was nearly twenty five minutes of punching and finishers, which is far from enough to carry a main event. Just terribly boring here but that’s what you have to expect from the main event scene around this time.
Post match Undertaker talks trash to Rock and gets Rock Bottomed, setting up a Pedigree to Rock to end. Undertaker chokeslams HHH to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. The following criticisms apply to all of the matches except for the women, who worked hard despite having a horrible story and almost no time to work with. Their match doesn’t line up with the rest of the show, which was one of the most lifeless cards I’ve ever seen. The matches were far from the worst I’ve ever seen but there was no energy almost all night.
This was a show with WAY too much talent on it to be this dull but that’s exactly what happened. It felt like no one was interested in trying because they could just do their matches and then go on to the week’s TV. I had almost no interest in anything on here and the whole thing seemed to be something they had to get through before either next month’s pay per view or Summerslam. I expected better here and it’s more disappointing than bad.
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NXT Takeover: Toronto: Who Knew Canada Could Get This Hot?
Takeover: Toronto Date: November 19, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Commentators: Corey Graves, Tom Phillips
We’re up north this time as NXT gets another showcase event on the weekend of a major WWE pay per view. There are a few rematches tonight but we’re also getting the finals of the second annual Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic as well as the return of WWE legend Mickie James, who is challenging the unstoppable Asuka for the NXT Women’s Title. Let’s get to it.
The opening video looks at various wrestlers from Toronto, which seems to translate into any wrestler ever from Canada, including the Harts. Tonight it’s NXT’s turn to show what they can do, which turns into your regular opening video.
The huge crowd looks great as always.
Tye Dillinger vs. Bobby Roode
Roode comes out with a freaking choir singing his theme song. Everybody else can go home because he just won Takeover. Dillinger comes out to a much simpler entrance but the pop is outstanding with the fans going nuts and chanting TEN. We get a BOTH THESE GUYS chant as they do the big staredown. It really is amazing how effective a story as simple as a broken team can be when you have a crowd like this to carry them.
They slug it out to start with Dillinger clotheslining him out to the floor twice in a row as the dueling chants begin. Back in and Roode begs off, only to have Dillinger stomp on his fingers. Some right hands in the corner (guess how many) have the fans even more fired up. Roode sends him outside and slowly takes over with some elbows to the neck but the crowd is still right there with the TENs.
A knee drop gets two for Roode as the fans want the apron fixed. Tye comes back with chops and other assorted strikes but the threat of a Tyebreaker is countered into a spinebuster for two. Roode gets two more off a superplex (or Gloriousplex according to Graves) and MOCKS THE TEN.
A rollup with feet on the ropes gets two and a superkick gets the same for Dillinger. Bobby might have lost a tooth and it’s only getting worse as they slug it out. The inverted DDT is countered into a Sharpshooter but Roode is quickly in the ropes. Back up and Tye is sent shoulder first into the post, setting up the inverted DDT for the pin at 16:32.
Rating: B. Well that worked. These two beat the heck out of each other but the story was in the crowd, who is white hot for this show. I wasn’t expecting much out of this one but I was buying the possibility of Dillinger winning more than once, which I really never would have thought possible. Tye is going to get a big rub here despite the loss and that’s what matters. I’m sure Roode will be near the title scene soon enough, as he should be.
Tye gets the big hero’s ovation after the match.
Long recap of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic.
Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic Finals: TM61 vs. Authors of Pain
The Authors’ manager Paul Ellering is suspended above the ring in a small cage. Akum and Miller get things going but things quickly break down with all four heading outside. For reasons of general insanity, Thorn climbs the structure holding up the cage for a big flip dive to take out both Authors.
Thorn gets flipped upside down and lands head first on the apron and we hit the chinlock. That goes nowhere so the hot tag brings in Miller as everything breaks down. Thunder Valley actually gets two on Akum but Razar makes the save. Another flip dive takes the Authors down again but Ellering drops a chain down into the ring. Thorn gets two off a rollup but a quick Last Chapter gives the Authors the tournament at 8:21.
Rating: C+. The flips helped a lot and TM61 gave it more of a go than I was expecting but this was a bit of a mess. The Authors winning was the only logical call and they did a great job of making TM61 feel like bigger deals, though it’s still not quite enough. This should make the Authors the #1 contenders and that could lead to an amazing match against DIY, assuming they get the belts here.
HHH, Goldust and William Regal come out to congratulate the winners.
Long recap of DIY vs. Revival, with the challengers coming so close to getting the titles time after time. Tonight they have three chances in a 2/3 falls match.
Tag Team Titles: DIY vs. Revival
Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson are defending. Gargano and Dawson get things going and hit the mat running (or rather rolling) with an early rollup getting two on Scott. A blind tag brings in Ciampa to face Dash as the champs slowly take over. The way too early hot tag brings in Gargano as house is cleaned. The slingshot spear through the ropes doesn’t work though and it’s a Shatter Machine to put the champs up 1-0 at 5:10.
Johnny is in trouble as the second fall begins, including Dawson grabbing a suplex for two. We hit a bodyscissors with a chinlock for a bit before Johnny grabs a tornado DDT on Wilder and enziguris Dawson at the same time. That’s enough for the hot tag off to Ciampa and the champs are suddenly in trouble. Three straight German suplexes and a running knee to the head get two on Dawson. The superkick/running knee combo is enough to tie things up at 14:22.
The third fall begins with Ciampa putting on his flip over armbar but Dawson counters into a crucifix for two. A hanging Downward Spiral and a slingshot DDT get a close two on Dawson, whose eyes are all over the place. Gargano has to fight out of the corner with forearms all around before making the crowd completely buy into a small package.
Dawson tries to bring in the title but winds up using it as a shield to block a kick to the head. We hit that reverse Figure Four and the crowd is losing it until Gargano does the big dive to get to the ropes. The champs get cute and try DIY’s double strike finisher but Dawson goes too high and superkicks his partner. A Shatter Machine gets two on Dawson and the reaction to the near fall is insane.
Dawson grabs a rollup with trunks but the referee won’t count it because he’s not legal. Wilder goes after Gargano’s good leg but a pinfall reversal sequence breaks up the leg lock attempt. Johnny puts on the modified Crossface and Ciampa adds his flip armbar. The Revival grab hands to block the tap before they tap out at the same time to give DIY the titles at 22:16.
Rating: A+. I had this at an A and then got to thinking that there’s really nothing holding it back. If there’s anything in wrestling more exciting than NXT tag teams doing hot tags and saves on near falls, I’m not sure what it is. DIY winning makes sense here and they have a built in feud with the Authors ready to go. Outstanding stuff here and one as this tag division just does not stop.
Jim Ross is here.
Recap of Mickie James vs. Asuka, which is basically Asuka needing competition and no one in NXT being ready to give her a real challenge.
Women’s Title: Asuka vs. Mickie James
Mickie is challenging and still looks great. The first three rows all have Asuka masks for an even creepier entrance than usual. After the Big Match Intros, we’re ready to go with a feeling out process and a very intense handshake. Mickie cartwheels out of a wristlock and scores with a basement dropkick to send Asuka outside for a rare show of weakness.
Back in and Mickie fires off a kick, only to get knocked to the floor with the hip attack. Asuka lets Mickie get back in but decks her with another hip attack to really take over. The Mick Kick is blocked and a release German suplex on the floor has Mickie looking mostly dead. Back in and another hip attack sets up some YES Kicks with Mickie asking for more.
A big one is countered into a Muta Lock of all things until Asuka gets a rope. Back up and they both do the crazy eyes until Mickie snaps off a neckbreaker and a flapjack (always like that move). A cross between a top rope seated senton and Thesz press gets two on the champ and Mickie kicks her down again. Now the Mick Kick connects but Asuka gets a foot on the ropes. The MickieDT is countered into the Asuka Lock with James flipping all over the place (ignore her feet touching the ropes at one point) before tapping out at 13:11.
Rating: B. This was a lot more competitive than I was expecting with Mickie more than holding her own against the monster champion. They did a great job of treating Mickie like a real threat and someone who could actually give Asuka a run for her money instead of someone just there because she used to be a name. Well booked and fought match here with the only possible outcome.
Mickie offers a handshake but Asuka just holds up the title.
Pat Patterson is here.
We recap Shinsuke Nakamura vs. Samoa Joe in a rematch from their showdown at Brooklyn where Joe lost the title. This time is set up to be more violent though with Joe injuring Nakamura to help set this up.
NXT Title: Samoa Joe vs. Shinsuke Nakamura
Nakamura is defending and walks through a tunnel of violinists playing his theme song. They even serenade him as he’s doing his entrance on the mat. The strikes start at the bell and Joe takes over with a kick to the thigh. Nakamura does his head on the chest taunt and says bring it on, followed by Good Vibrations in the corner.
They head outside with a running boot to the face putting Joe in the crowd for a rare visual around here. Back in and Joe scores with a hard kick, which Graves says is why people call him Joey Head Rocker. I’ve never, ever heard anyone call him that Corey. Like, never. Nakamura comes back with the hard knees to the head but Joe strikes him back just as hard.
The champ misses a strike though and is sent outside for a big suicide elbow. Back in and Nakamura puts him on the top for the running knee to the ribs. Joe’s big boot and backsplash get two, followed by the powerbomb into the submission sequence. Ropes are grabbed and Nakamura gets up with a middle rope Kinshasa for no cover.
Instead Nakamura muscles him over into a German suplex. Kinshasa hits buckle though and Joe takes it out again. It’s too early for the MuscleBuster though and the regular Kinshasa gets two. A second attempt is countered into the Koquina Clutch but Joe has to settle for rolling suplexes (German, dragon, straitjacket) and the kickout has him in awe.
Joe, with blood on his eye, takes another Kinshasa to the back of the head to put him outside. With the referee shoved aside, Joe gets in a low blow and hits the Rock Bottom onto the steps. Back in and the MuscleBuster makes Joe the first ever two time NXT Champion at 20:11.
Rating: A. I’m genuinely shocked by that ending. I mean, they’re clearly setting up a trilogy fight (likely in San Antonio) but I can’t believe they actually switched the title back. It’s not a bad thing or a crazy decision but quite surprising. This was another great brawl though with both guys beating the heck out of each other for twenty minutes. What else could you really ask for? I mean, save for a gimmick rematch where they can get even more violent.
Joe walks off with the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: A. The short tournament match holds this back a bit but the two male title matches more than carry it to greatness. Couple that with the crowd being on fire all night and there was no way this wasn’t going to feel huge. That Tag Team Title match is a must see though as the tag division has replaced the women’s division as the best thing about NXT. You can skip the Dusty Classic and probably the women’s match but check out the other three.
Results
Bobby Roode b. Tye Dillinger – Inverted DDT
Authors of Pain b. TM61 – Last Chapter to Miller
DIY b. Revival – Double submissions
Asuka b. Mickie James – Asuka Lock
Samoa Joe b. Shinsuke Nakamura – MuscleBuster
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
For only the second time in history, WWE has a pay per view series reach thirty entries as we arrive at Survivor Series 2016. In what is the most important thing a Survivor Series can do, there’s actually something on the line here, albeit just bragging rights, as Smackdown faces off with Raw in a series of three elimination tag matches. It’s only a six match card (for now) so it should be interesting to see what they’re doing with the show. Let’s get to it.
We’ll start with the ladies in the first Team Raw vs. Team Smackdown match. This looks almost completely one sided on paper as Smackdown has Becky Lynch and Nikki Bella, who are nowhere near enough to counter the combined forces of Sasha Banks, Charlotte, Bayley and Nia Jax. However, never underestimate the power of WWE pushing Bella to the moon and back, meaning she has a good chance of overcoming the odds. She’s fearless you know.
That being said, I really can’t imagine Raw has much to worry about here. No matter how you look at it, there’s just too much talent on the red show, even if they have all their in fighting. This should be a glorified layup as Carmella and Alexa Bliss are such liabilities for the Smackdown team that there’s almost no way around their limitations. I’ll go with Raw winning here in what shouldn’t be much of a challenge for them.
On a side note since I don’t have much material to talk about here with such a short card, is anyone else completely uninterested in seeing Bella vs. Charlotte treated as a huge showdown? We saw it last year and it was nothing special but now that Charlotte has become possibly the most successful women’s wrestler ever and Bella was on the shelf for months, we’re supposed to care? That doesn’t make sense, though again, never underestimate the powers of a reality “star” in WWE.
Next up we have a title match as Cruiserweight Champion Brian Kendrick defends against Smackdown’s Kalisto. This is a little bigger than your usual title match though as the winning brand gets the entire cruiserweight division. There isn’t much to the feud as Kalisto was just named #1 contender a few weeks back on Smackdown.
I’m really hoping logic takes control here because there’s not much of a reason to keep the title and the division as a whole over on Raw. Tuesday night has a little more open space and is better suited for an action based division than Raw, which is almost entirely storyline driven. Couple that with the upcoming 205 Live, which is being taped after Smackdown instead of Raw and there’s really no reason for Kendrick to walk out with the title. If nothing else, maybe Kalisto can breathe some life into the title instead of being another mat based cruiserweight.
We’ll go back to the elimination tags as we have the tag team version, featuring a staggering twenty wrestlers in one match. This kind of match hasn’t been done at this level since 1988 and the previous incarnations were borderline classics and among the best Survivor Series matches of all time. I’m not sure the talent is there to pull that off this time but at least there’s a great chance for some exciting action.
Picking an accurate winner here is a lot more complicated though as neither team really stands out. Raw probably has the better lineup from top to bottom but Smackdown has American Alpha and better continuity. Unfortunately Raw has to deal with the Shining Stars and the issues between Cesaro and Sheamus. On the other hand, Heath Slater and Rhyno are playing WAY over their heads at the moment and I don’t think they’re going to be able to make that last against the Raw teams.
In a pick I’m not entirely confident in, I’m going to pick Smackdown to win here, if nothing else so there can be something on the line in the third match. Neither team looks great but I could certainly go for Cesaro/Sheamus vs. American Alpha with the technique vs. clubbing power formula. This should be a lot of fun if they do it right though and that’s what matters in a match like this.
We’ll go back to the title matches now with Miz defending the Intercontinental Title against Smackdown’s Sami Zayn in another match where the title can switch brands. Miz won the belt back from Dolph Ziggler earlier this week and Ziggler not being on the card seems like a red flag.
At the end of the day though, I can’t imagine Raw losing two titles and not having a midcard title to fall back on whatsoever. As much as I’d love to see Sami get a title, this doesn’t really seem like the time to pull the trigger. Miz is a great Intercontinental Champion and can pick right back up where he left off after that pesky Ziggler run.
That leaves us with one Survivor Series match to go and this one is the biggest tossup of them all. I really don’t know which one to pick as you would think Smackdown would be at a disadvantage with Shane McMahon on the team but he went thirty minutes with the Undertaker at Wrestlemania. The rest of the lineups pretty much cancel each other out though and that’s rather influential in a match like this.
I’ll go with Smackdown as WWE has a long history of putting the blue show over when the two of them go head to head. There’s nothing on the line here so it’s not like this is going to mean much either way, but the bragging rights are always worth a chuckle at worst. If nothing else we don’t have to listen to Matt Striker shouting “IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE!” when someone wins.
That leaves us with the main event, which is only somewhat interesting but is the focal point of the show. Twelve and a half years ago, Goldberg and Brock Lesnar had one of the worst major matches in wrestling history and for some reason we’re supposed to forget all that and just enjoy them fighting again. It’s also Goldberg’s first match since that night and I’m not sure how bad this could really get.
Obviously I’ll go with Lesnar, but neither guy is really a good option here. You don’t have Lesnar set up as this unstoppable monster and then have him lose but at the same time, Lesnar beating Goldberg means as much as Hulk Hogan beating the Ultimate Warrior in 1998. Lesnar wins here after Goldberg doesn’t do much besides throw spears. At least there should be some energy here and Goldberg will have a better chance than Dean Ambrose had.
Overall, Survivor Series has a lot of potential but it could be good or bad. If they let these matches have a lot of time (which they should given the four hour run time) and only add one more at most, they could have the time to build into something entertaining. Unfortunately they could also build into a disaster with the fans getting bored and matches that aren’t the most interesting. I’ve been excited for this since it was announced though and I’m going to try to keep that optimism.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at: