Ring of Honor TV – November 16, 2016: It’s a Problem Until ROH Fixes It
Ring of Honor Date: November 16, 2016
Location: William J. Myers Pavilion, Baltimore, Maryland
Attendance: 600
Commentators: Steve Corino, Kevin Kelly
We’re on a fresh taping cycle now and that means we’re almost up to Final Battle. The big story this week seems to be the rest of the first round of the Six Man Tag Team Title tournament as we get the final four all set up. Other than that we’re probably going to get some more on Kyle O’Reilly vs. Adam Cole. Let’s get to it.
We open with a video of Adam Page attacking Bobby Fish and dueling speeches from both guys.
Opening sequence.
Six Man Tag Team Titles Tournament First Round: Addiction/Kamaitachi vs. Team CMLL
That would be Ultimo Guerrero, Hechiero and Okimura because there was nowhere near enough trios to fill in a tournament so here are a bunch of imports. Okimura and Kazarian start things off as Corino does everything he does to explain who the CMLL guys are. They hit the mat to start with neither guy getting an advantage, save for Kazarian grabbing an arm trap rollup for two.
A cutter out of the corner gets the same on Kazarian so it’s off to Hechiero, who grabs a choke on the mat and rolls around for a bit. Ultimo (a guy in his mid 40s who has won a ton of titles in CMLL) comes in and everything breaks down with Kamaitachi being sent outside for a brawl in the crowd.
Back from a break with Addiction in control with Hechiero getting beaten down. That lasts all of ten seconds as it’s off to Guerrero for a slingshot Bronco Buster (cool move) as everything breaks down. Kamaitachi hits a dive, followed by a Falcon’s Arrow on Guerrero. Daniels says he has this though, meaning Kamaitachi’s top rope knee hits him instead. A reverse superplex plants Daniels for the pin at 13:04.
Rating: C-. I’ve said this before and I’m going to say it again until ROH fixes this problem: who are these people and why should I care? I keep having to ask it because ROH never bothers to do anything about it. Kelly mentioned something about ROH, CMLL and New Japan all working together to present the best wrestling in the world.
That’s fine in theory but when the action is just ok, I need WAY more in the way of connecting with the characters. Take Okimura for instance. Corino’s explanation came down to “he wanted to be a big star in Mexico…..and now he is!” Good for him. Now what does he do? That happens WAY too often around here and it’s happening with so many people ROH brings in.
Addiction and Kamaitachi break up post match.
Here’s the Cabinet, out of their outfits. Actually never mind as Caprice Coleman rips on ROH for giving them such a horrible gimmick. The announcers don’t seem to care so Coleman says there are more of them than anyone knows.
We look at Dalton Castle challenging the Young Bucks to a World Tag Team Title match in the middle of an eight man elimination tag, which cost he and partner Colt Cabana their shot. Colt wasn’t pleased.
Castle can’t find the Boys but Cabana says they’re not needed.
Colt Cabana/Dalton Castle vs. Keith Taylor/Shane Lee
It really does amaze me that Taylor and Lee’s pants manage to stay up. Taylor and Castle get things going and that means an early chest thrust. Cabana comes in and headscissors Lee down as we have to hear about the World Series. I’m still not over that yet Corino. Lee runs Castle over with a clothesline and we take a break. Back with Taylor dropping a huge leg but Dalton slips over for the tag anyway. Corino: “Shades of Ricky and Robert!” No Steve, it’s not.
Everything breaks down and the big guys are dropkicked out to the floor, setting up a double strut instead of a double dive. Back in and Castle can’t quite suplex Taylor due to a bad case of physics. Dalton kicks Colt in the face by mistake and the Pop Up Powerbomb into a middle rope splash gives Lee the pin at 10:54.
Rating: C+. Not bad at all here as Taylor and Lee are starting to become a bigger team instead of being just a glorified freak show. It really helps that they look completely different than most teams in ROH. What good is it to have so many versions of the same team or act? It’s why I don’t get why you have ACH and Lio Rush in the same promotion. Cabana vs. Castle is…..I’m not sure what that’s going to be actually.
Adam Cole is ready for all challengers.
TV Title: Adam Page vs. Bobby Fish
Fish is defending and has taped ribs so Page jumps him before the bell to take over. Kyle O’Reilly comes out to cheer his partner on and we take a break. Back with the champ still in trouble as Page bends the ribs around the ropes. Page loads up something off the apron but gets suplexed down onto the floor in a big crash. Back in and Page is thrown with another suplex, only to score with a shooting star off the apron for a big crash. We take a second break and come back with Page getting a near fall off a flip clothesline but a really quick kneebar retains Fish’s title at 13:01.
Rating: C+. Another good match here though the ending was REALLY sudden and hurt things a little bit. I’m starting to get into Fish’s title reign and I’m having a good time with Page too so I would have been fine with either one leaving as champion here. Also it was nice to not have a bunch of people interfering here, which happens way too often.
Post match Adam Cole comes out to call out O’Reilly but Jay Lethal comes out as well, leaving Cole surrounded by challengers to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This was fine but I’m not sure what they’re going to set up for Final Battle. The World Title is set and we’ll get the two Tag Team Title (two and three man versions) matches but the rest of the card isn’t the most clear, which isn’t a good sign with two weeks to go. Good enough TV show this week though with the title match feeling important.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Smackdown Date: June 20, 2002
Location: ARCO Arena, Sacramento, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz
It’s the final show before King of the Ring 2002 and we’re officially in the Kurt Angle is Bald era. As big of a change as it was, that would wind up being his signature look for years to come and still is to this day. Tonight we wrap up the first round of the tournament to get us down to the final four so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Rock’s speech from Monday. You know, the one where he talks about people needing to stick around as he comes back from another movie hiatus.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Kurt Angle with the wig to get things going. He knows people have been laughing at him but this is serious. The reality is…..he’s bald and he’s been wearing a wig. He’s tried everything from Rogaine to hair tonic to fertilizer but nothing has worked. We look back at the wig being ripped off last week and Angle is distraught. Hogan is the real joke around here because he looks like he’s 100 years old and wears red and yellow boas. Angle is very confused by the hand to the ear thing and promises to make Hogan tap on Sunday.
Cue Hogan to say he’ll beat Angle up and threatens the wig. The fight is on with Hogan getting the better of it until Angle bails. I really don’t get the point of keeping the wig on when we’ve already seen the bald head and Angle acknowledges that he’s bald. Just go Olympic on Hogan and put us out of our misery.
Stacy Keibler is checking out her gear for Divas Undressed when Dawn Marie comes up for the usual “Vince wants to sleep with ME” argument. Torrie Wilson comes up and shows off her underwear to annoy them even more. You know what? I kind of prefer them doing it this way instead of pretending it’s anything else. It’s an excuse to have the women in their underwear so just say that’s what they’re going for.
Rikishi vs. Christian
Christian charges into a backdrop to start but gets the big man in trouble with some right hands to the head. So much for racial stereotypes in wrestling. The Unprettier doesn’t work and a pop up cutter (looked more like a flapjack because Rikishi can never get that right) puts Christian away.
Christian’s foot was on the rope during the pin so Lance Storm comes out to complain. The complaining continues post break with Storm saying it’s because Christian is Canadian. As is so often the case, this goes on too long with Storm ranting about how all Americans are prejudiced and all other countries hate America because they’re so smug.
HHH says he’s getting the title back in three days. Gay jokes are made at Billy Gunn’s expense in preparation for their match later tonight. If there’s a reason to care about HHH as a face, it’s going WAY over my head.
Nidia and Jamie Noble are all fired up for Jamie to become Crusierweight Champion on Sunday. Hurricane’s mask is between Nidia’s legs because that’s amusing or something.
Jamie Noble vs. Billy Kidman
Winner gets the title shot on Sunday. I’ll give them a point for having Jamie need a win to become #1 contender instead of just having a newcomer the title shot. A hiptoss sends Kidman outside and Jamie starts in on his arm. Kidman gets in a loud enziguri for a breather but Nidia crotches him on top, setting up an elevated DDT to send Jamie to King of the Ring. I’m already thinking I was wrong on Jamie having to win a match. Was this really necessary if they can’t even have three minutes?
Post match Jamie puts on the mask and cape, drawing out Hurricane for a chokeslam. Hurricane gets the mask back a week after losing it, which is already better than TJ Perkins being asked to lay down so Brian Kendrick can win the title.
Billy vs. HHH
HHH does his full posing so Billy tries a cheap shot. That’s enough selling though so HHH clotheslines him outside and whips Billy into the steps. Back in and a powerslam gives Billy two but instructions to SUCK IT are just too far for HHH, who grabs a neckbreaker. Chuck offers a distraction and Rico gets in a spinning kick to the face….which is followed by a Pedigree to end Billy without much effort.
Rating: D. Just in case the Rikishi/Rico title reign wasn’t enough to crush the titles all over again, this was another great example of how bad the Tag Team Titles are doing at the moment. HHH might as well have been fighting any given jobber here as he shrugged off a triple team attack and won in less than five minutes. What a great use of champions, especially when the titles on Raw are already so worthless.
Kurt comes in and is quickly dispatched, followed by Undertaker coming in to get HHH in trouble. Angle hits Undertaker with a chair by mistake though, which is finally enough to end this segment.
Vince and Stacy talk about the pay per view when Undertaker storms in and demands a match with Angle tonight.
King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Chris Jericho vs. Big Valbowski
Venis gets jumped to start but comes back with some jobber offense. That just earns him a sleeper drop for two but Jericho’s dropkick is countered into a catapult into the corner. A spinebuster gets a cold two and the referee gets bumped because Val Venis vs. Chris Jericho needs a ref bump. Venis’ fisherman’s suplex gets no count but the Blue Thunder Bomb gets a close two. The Walls send Jericho on to King of the Ring a few seconds later.
Rating: D+. The wrestling was better but the same problem that held back the previous match back was present here: there was almost no doubt as to who was winning. Was anyone going to buy Venis as a real threat to take out Jericho? At least they had a few more minutes to work with here and the match was able to go somewhere as a result.
Here’s Rock whole speech from Monday.
Test and Hardcore Holly trash talk.
Vince and Stacy talk Angle into fight Undertaker by having him pretend Undertaker is Hogan.
King of the Ring Quarterfinals: Test vs. Hardcore Holly
And they wonder why the crowd isn’t interested. A powerslam gives Holly an early near fall but he gets whipped hard into the corner. The full nelson slam is countered into a sloppy rollup for two on Test but a pumphandle slam gets the same on Holly. Back up and the big boot gives Test a shot at Lesnar on Sunday.
Rating: D. This is a good example of why this era is pretty forgotten. Was Test vs. Holly the best they could come up with? If you have to push Test through to the next round (fine enough as another Lesnar victim), wasn’t there ANYONE other that Holly to put him over? The problem: I’m really not sure there is someone else at the moment, which is why they really need to build the roster up in a hurry.
Test says he’ll win because the next big thing is getting the next big boot.
Here are the final four:
Rob Van Dam
Chris Jericho
Test
Brock Lesnar
Vince has Fit Finlay and Johnny Ace get Undertaker and Angle to try to calm things down. Stacy is sent to the hotel, but not before Vince kisses her awkwardly.
Jericho is ready for Rob Van Dam.
We run down Sunday’s card and my goodness this looks horrible.
Vince tells Undertaker and Angle to have a good, clean competition. He demands a handshake but Undertaker doesn’t want to shake the hand of someone who threatened to break his ankle. That’s a fair point actually. A brawl breaks out and Vince gets crushed, putting him on Undertaker’s side.
Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle
Non-title and Angle grabs a chair before Undertaker comes to the ring. The chair goes nowhere so an early ankle lock sends Undertaker crawling to the ropes. Angle unhooks a turnbuckle pad but of course it’s not that simple. The straps are already down because they don’t have time to do the full formula. A clothesline breaks up the Angle Slam and Kurt is sent back first into the exposed buckle.
Kurt goes face first into the post but the chokeslam is countered into the ankle lock. The hold stays on for over a full minute until Undertaker FINALLY rolls forward for the break. The ankle is fine enough for a chokeslam but here’s HHH for a distraction so Angle can grab a rollup for the pin. Here’s the bigger problem than the minute long ankle lock: the pop that Test got for pinning Holly was far bigger than the one Angle just got for pinning the World Champion.
Rating: D. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen two of the best of all time have such a worthless match. That ankle lock was horrible and the ending made things even worse. How does this make me want to see either of the two big matches at the pay per view? Undertaker gets pinned and Angle’s finisher can’t beat anyone despite staying on for over a minute. That’s their marketing plan? Really?
Post match HHH beats up Undertaker but here’s Hogan to put Angle in an ankle lock. I’ve never seen him work a decent armbar but he’s making Angle tap to an ankle lock. Undertaker gives Hogan a chokeslam, only to walk into a Pedigree to end the show.
Overall Rating: F. This show is in need of a BIG refresh because it’s getting worse and worse. There’s almost no good wrestling as they have to fly through everything, though I can’t figure out what they spent the extra time on. Maybe all the Undertaker and Angle backstage segments or the vignettes hyping up a lingerie show? Either way, this show is downright horrible lately and King of the Ring is looking like a potential disaster.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
For the first time ever, it’s an NXT Takeover in the Great White North and, in another first, it’s an NXT Takeover on Survivor Series weekend. As is usually the case, this isn’t feeling like a huge show on paper but there’s a good chance that NXT is going to surprise us again because that’s what they do. These shows are almost always a case of a big pile of good adding up to a solid show. Either way, it’s almost a guaranteed good show at worst so let’s get to it.
We don’t really have the deepest card here so we’ll start with the only match with nothing on the line as Bobby Roode and Tye Dillinger battle it out to be king of Toronto. This is an interesting one as Roode is the huge smark favorite due to the power of that entrance but Dillinger is on a roll at the moment with the TEN gimmick. The winner here is nowhere near as interesting as the crowd reactions.
The main reason the winner isn’t interesting is because it’s not in doubt. Roode looks destined to be the next challenger for the NXT Title and he’s not going to be doing that if he loses here. Dillinger is in a bit over his head here and while he’s getting better, he’s not about to beat Roode here. I’m sure Dillinger will get in some offense and the match will be entertaining so Dillinger saves some face but there’s no way Roode is going down here, not with the roll he’s on at the moment.
We’ll move on to a title match now as NXT Women’s Champion Asuka defends against Mickie James, who is making her first WWE appearance in years. This might not be the most interesting match on paper but the problem is how weak the women’s division has been left after all the callups over the last few months. The division is getting better and there’s hope for the future but they’re just not ready yet.
Much like the first match, I don’t think there’s much drama about who is going to win. James might not even be around after this match so keeping the title on Asuka is the only possible option. She’s getting close to setting the record for longest reign as champion (which she’ll break in early February) and I really can’t imagine anyone beating her straight up right now. That being said, they’ve built her up as such a monster that the first person to actually pin her is going to be set for a long time. But yeah, Asuka retains here after a strong match.
Now we’ll move on to the other non-title match but it’s for a bit trophy. In this case it’s the finals of the second annual Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic, which turned out to be a big deal last year. This time though we have two normal tag teams instead of guys being thrown together for the sake of a singles angle. That means TM61 vs. the Authors of Pain and I’m a lot more confused about who goes over here.
I really don’t get the appeal of TM61. They’re starting to grow on me but they’re really missing that fire that sets them apart from everyone else. Granted it’s not helping that they’re the next team in line after American Alpha, DIY and the Revival and they had a huge international reputation as they came in. Unfortunately they haven’t quite lived up to it, though they’re far from bad. That leaves them just kind of there but maybe this can be their big pickup.
On the other hand you have the Authors of Pain, who are just old school monsters. They run over everyone in front of them and only DIY gave them a run for their money. Manager Paul Ellering will be in a cage above the ring to keep things even but I’m not sure that’s enough to keep them away from the trophy.
I’m going with the Authors here but I’m really not sure on it. Either team could win here but it basically comes down to who you see getting the next title shot. Either team could face either champions but I just can’t imagine giving the Authors their first loss just yet. They seem to be the team that dominates the titles until someone breaks through to take them down and that’s a long term feud instead of a one off loss. So yeah, the Authors take the tournament in a good match.
Speaking of the Tag Team Titles, let’s look at what should be a classic between DIY and the defending Revival in a 2/3 falls match. These teams have traded wins for months now and this should be the big blowoff. Their previous match got rave reviews and I see no reason this one shouldn’t be just as good if not even better.
I’ll go with the champs finally dropping the titles here as Revival has held them for a long time now and, assuming I’m right about the tournament final, there’s no one left for them to fight. This is likely going to be the treat of the show though and I can’t imagine it doesn’t go three falls. NXT knows how to do those white hot near falls as well as anyone has ever done and that’s what we’re going to get here, along with new champions.
That leaves us with what should be one of the most violent brawls NXT has ever seen as NXT Champion Shinsuke Nakamura defends against Samoa Joe. These two had a huge match back in Brooklyn, which wasn’t quite the wild brawl that everyone was expecting. However, that’s the story they’ve been setting up here and these two are more than capable of pulling it off.
As great a fighter as Joe is, it’s WAY too early to take the title off of Nakamura just yet. He’ll need about three Kinshasas but it’s going to be enough to take Joe down. This is going to be in the vein of Nakamura vs. Sami Zayn from earlier in the year where both guys were barely able to stand but that’s exactly where Nakamura shines. It’s going to be a blast and that’s what this show needs.
There’s also the possibility of a six woman tag being added with Billie Kay/Peyton Royce/??? vs. Liv Morgan/Aliyah/Ember Moon, though I’d bet on that taking place on NXT next week. As for a partner, I’d guess the Aussies bring in some lower level name like Daria Berenato, who can get a nice rub on a big show as a result. Either way, I’ll take Morgan’s team as either she or Moon will be the big challenger to Asuka going forward.
The thing to remember about Takeover is that while a lot of the matches aren’t in question, the fun part is in the journey. It’s going to be a lot of fun to see most of these matches, which have potential to be something special. The main event and Tag Team Title matches in particular should blow the roof off the place (assume it’s fixed in between) and that’s going to make for one heck of a kickoff to this huge weekend.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Superstars – November 18, 2016: The Fourth Part is Always Bad
Superstars Date: November 18, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves
It’s another week of Superstars and unfortunately that means another week of highlights from a Raw that wasn’t all that interesting in the first place. Main Event has completely pulled away from Superstars for its original content so hopefully things can get a bit closer to even this week. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Titus O’Neil vs. Curtis Axel
And so much for that idea. At least we don’t have to put up with that Titus Brand stuff on Raw anymore. Curtis takes him into the corner and dances away before the referee annoyingly tries to break up a brawl, allowing Titus to score with a big boot. We hit the horrible chinlock with Titus talking trash and trying to start an AXELMANIA chant. Axel makes his comeback with the necksnap and a running knee to the face for two. Not that it matters as Titus sends him chest first into the buckle, setting up the Clash of the Titus for the pin at 5:30.
Rating: D. That might become my standard rating for all Titus matches. He can talk a decent amount of trash but at some point you have to be able to do more than throw people through the air and do a Sky High. Also, so much for believing in Curtis Axel, who might have been building up towards a small push but now he’s jobbing to Titus. Oh joy indeed.
Off to Raw for the first time.
It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.
The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.
And then the second.
New Day vs. Seth Rollins/Braun Strowman/Chris Jericho
Jericho and Kofi start things off and that’s not a bad thing. An elbow to the jaw puts Kofi on the mat and it’s quickly off to Woods vs. Rollins with the latter coming in off a chop to the chest. That goes nowhere either as they hit the mat for Seth’s headlock before it’s back to Jericho as New Day takes over. The Warrior splash gets two and Kofi comes back in, only to get slammed by Braun as we take a break.
Back with Braun holding Kofi in a nerve hold before handing it back to Rollins. Some double knees put Seth down but it’s Strowman running cross the ring to kick Big E. in the face. We wind up with Woods kicking Jericho in the back and Strowman plowing through the other two opponents. Woods finally kicks him in the face and forearms Rollins in the jaw. That’s enough for Braun though as it’s a powerslam to end Xavier at 14:06.
Rating: C. This picked up a lot near the end as Woods continues to be great at the last chance offense. Strowman is getting better at being a rampaging monster but he’s still in need of some more experience. I liked the match well enough though and New Day will be fine with a loss like this. That being said, it’s getting harder and harder to care about these one off matches between people with no animosity.
Jinder Mahal vs. Darren Young
Four times. I’ve done this show eight times now and this has been on the card on four occasions. Mahal hides in the corner to start (I’d hide from this match too) until a shoulder block and a jumping seated senton get two. A big boot puts Young on the floor and we take a break.
Back with Mahal choking in the corner and shouting that peace catchphrase that no one has ever caught nor used as a phrase. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Mahal yells at Bob Backlund before putting on another chinlock. See, it’s the yelling that makes it more impressive. Young fights up with some belly to belly suplexes and that belly to back on the apron. Back up and Mahal sends him throat first into the rope, setting up a Regal Cutter for the pin at 11:12.
Rating: D. They’re trolling me. Like, they have to be at this point. Either that or they really do pay absolutely no attention to this show and Mahal and Young just go out there because no one notices what they do every week. Unfortunately that means we have to put up with these two fighting almost every other week despite the fact that neither is interesting. Boring match here and it’s probably a matter of time before they fight again.
A two minute highlight package of the Survivor Series Summit wraps the show up.
Overall Rating: D+. This week, Main Event gave us a good Luke Harper vs. Apollo Crews match and a perfectly watchable Vaudevillains vs. Breezango match. This show gave us the fourth incarnation of a match that hasn’t been interesting yet and another bad Titus O’Neil match. It’s really amazing that Superstars is treated as a wasteland and Main Event is a show with a little effort put in. Another just barely passable show this week and that’s sad given what can be done with something like this.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
New E-Book: KB’s Monday Nitro and Thunder Reviews Volume V with Special Price
A comprehensive look back at every episode of WCW Monday Nitro and Thunder from January – June 1999. WCW is in trouble and there’s not much of a better way to put it. They’re being defeated by Monday Night Raw in the Monday Night Wars, but as any wrestling historian can tell you, that doesn’t mean there’s no hope. Monday Night Raw was crushed for the better part of two years so maybe WCW can come back as well. In this book, every episode of both shows in the first half of 1999 is reviewed in full, complete with analysis, ratings and complete content included.
Normally this will be selling for $3.99 but for the next ten days (as in thru Sunday November 27) it’s going to be at a sale price of $2.99. Pick it up cheap while you can!
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Lucha Underground – November 16, 2016 (Aztec Warfare III): Letting Them Fight
Lucha Underground Date: November 16, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker
It’s time to go big with AZTEC WARFARE. In other words it’s the Royal Rumble but with pinfalls or submissions only for eliminations, meaning the entire show is going to be spent on one match with the Lucha Underground Title on the line. This is almost always a blast and hopefully that continues today. Let’s get to it.
Dario Cueto is walking through the back when he runs into Johnny Mundo, who promises to become a double champion tonight. Taya comes up with a camera of his own as Johnny, who is entrant #12, says he’ll be cashing in his Gift of the Gods Title next week. That’s fine with Dario, who rips up Johnny’s #12 card to make him #2.
Lucha Underground Title: Aztec Warfare
There are twenty entrants with 90 second intervals. Matanza, defending here, is in at #1 and Mundo is in at #2 (taking Sexy Star’s spot). Johnny gets to the apron for a kick to the face but Matanza pulls it out of the air and throws him with a suplex. Son of Havoc is in at #3 and the duo wisely joins forces to go after the champ. A spinning crossbody/legsweep combo gets two and it’s Jeremiah Crane (great name) in at #4.
Matanza gets kicked out to the floor and the three others start fighting for some reason until Pentagon Dark (POP) is in at #5. Back from a break (such a rarity around here) with little having changed and Pentagon cleaning house. Matanza gets back in and knocks Pentagon to the floor, likely in a preview of a HUGE rematch down the line. PJ Black is in at #6 and gets two on Crane via a top rope Lionsault.
Mariposa is in at #7 as we’re hitting the midcard portion. I know it seems that I’m skipping a lot of stuff but it’s your standard battle royal without much going on between entrances. Matanza picks up Crane and swings him into a German suplex for the first elimination. A swinging chokeslam gets rid of Mariposa as Rey Mysterio comes in at #8 for the superhero staredown with Matanza.
Back from a second break with the Worldwide Underground preventing Rey from getting in (I’m very glad they’re pausing the show during commercials, if nothing else so I don’t have to figure out who has come in or been eliminated) and then hiding under the ring. Dr. Wagner Jr. is in at #9 and it’s Marty Martinez in at #10 without much going on. At the moment it’s Matanza, Mundo, Pentagon, Black, Mysterio, Wagner and Martinez.
Marty and Matanza slug it out to make things more interesting. The fight goes outside with the champ getting the advantage until Jack Evans is in at #11. The Worldwide Underground triple teams Havoc for an elimination and it’s Sexy Star in at #12 as we go to the third break. Back again with a little bit clipped (balderdash) and Star being thrown outside so the dives can be unleashed. Ricky Mandel is in at #13….and is promptly package piledriven.
Pentagon loads up the arm but here are Black Lotus and three other good looking women to beat the heck out of him. A standing Canadian Destroyer from one of them is enough for Mundo to steal the pin and the elimination. Black pins Mandel and it’s Mascarita Sagrada in at #14. Wrath of the Gods gets rid of Sagrada in about ten seconds as they’re clearing the ring out a bit. Famous B. is in at #15 and tries to sign Rey up, earning himself a 619 and springboard splash for another elimination. Marty comes in and cleans house until Rey grabs a rollup for a fast pin.
The Mack is in at #16, followed by Joey Ryan at #17. Just like last year, Ryan handcuffs himself to the guardrail to hide….but it’s Mil Muertes in at #18. Mil BREAKS THE HANDCUFFS (ignore the camera cut) and throws Joey inside for a Flatliner. Matanza gives Wagner Wrath of the Gods at the same time and it’s a double elimination. That means it’s time for the big monster brawl and it’s the still useless Kobra Moon in at #19.
Mack Stuns Evans for an elimination and does the same to Black for the same result. Drago is in at #20 to give us a final field of Matanza, Mundo, Mysterio, Star, Mack, Muertes, Moon and Drago fighting for the title. It’s a wild brawl all over the place with Matanza piledriving Muertes on the floor, leaving Drago to roll Moon up for the elimination. The champ runs in and powerbombs Drago to get us down to six as things settle down in a hurry.
Everybody goes after Matanza and it’s finishers a go-go with a 619 looking to set up…..another 619, only to have the champ catch Rey in mid swing. That’s reversed into a quick Code Red and Matanza is eliminated as we go to what is likely the final break. Back with Matanza going nuttier and beating the heck out of Rey before SHOVING DARIO DOWN. Johnny pins Rey and we’re down to four.
The referees check on Rey’s back as the eliminated Black and Evans come back in to beat on Star. Mysterio is taken out on a stretcher but cue the returning Angelico to dive off the balcony to take out the Worldwide Underground for the big dive. Star actually pins Mundo for the big surprise, leaving us with Star, Muertes and the Mack. The spear and Flatliner get rid of Mack (good as there was no chance he was winning), leaving Muertes to beat the heck out of Star. Due to reasons of ECW IS AMAZING, it’s table time instead of Mil just finishing Star off like he should be able to do with all of no effort.
Star reverses a chokeslam into a DDT onto a chair and a series of chair shots gets a great false two. The spear only hits the table and Star gets two more off a rollup. Mil PUNCHES HER SQUARE IN THE JAW (that sounded great) but stops to get another table (boy you stupid). The super Flatliner is broken up with Mil being shoved through the table, meaning it’s a top rope double stomp to give Star the pin and the title at 56:58.
Rating: A-. And this is why Lucha Underground works. Can you imagine this happening on one of the big shows? They would cram it into the last thirty minutes with a ton of talking segments before the match actually started and there’s no way a midcarder would get the belt in the end. Above all else though, the crowd helped this one so much in the end with the big gasps at the near falls. The middle part brings this down a bit as it felt more like having people out there for the sake of filling in spots and that’s not a great feeling. Still though, outstanding stuff here, as is always the case with Aztec Warfare.
Overall Rating: A. Great match, cool moment and a title match set up for next week. Mundo winning by beating a weakened Star would be as perfect of a title win as he could possibly have and it would continue a great story. I had a blast with this show because Lucha Underground knows how to do shows like this. The show is picking up a lot and that’s a very big relief.
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Main Event – November 15, 2016: Setting The Early Bar
Main Event Date: November 15, 2016
Location: Mohegan Sun Arena, Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Phillips, David Otunga
I can get through this. I can get through this. Ok so maybe I can’t but repeating the same thing over and over again without changing it up was fine for Raw this week so maybe it can work on this show too. It’s hard to say what you’re going to get here but I could go for more of this tag team focus. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Breezango vs. Vaudevillains
This fashion police idea is starting to grow on me but I’m a Breezango fan in the first place. The Vaudevillains’ entrance is toned down a bit with no barker. English is sent into the corner to start but poses on the corner for a bow instead. Fandango isn’t cool with that though and clotheslines him down before starting in on the knee.
It’s off to Gotch but English gets in a cheap shot to take over. I’m not sure if I should be happy with that or not as this is a rare all heel match. English says THEY should be on Team Smackdown as he drops Breeze face first on the apron for two. An enziguri gets Breeze out of trouble and it’s the hot tag to bring Fandango in so house can be cleaned. Breeze Supermodel Kicks English into a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin at 3:43.
Rating: C-. Am I really supposed to boo Breezango? I know they’re heels but they were playing some pretty sweet faces here and with something as simple as the fashion police gimmick, maybe they could actually go somewhere for a change. I had a good little time with this and it was cool to see Breeze looking solid again.
We look at two of the three big Survivor Series matches before going to our first Raw selection.
Roman Reigns/Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro/Sheamus
Naturally Reigns and Owens have to do entrances again after being on the stage before the break. Cesaro and Reigns get things going and Owens is looking bored on the apron. A dropkick sends Reigns into the corner and it’s time for an argument between the dysfunctional team over who gets to beat him up. Sheamus dives into an uppercut as I cringe at the thought of that being a World Title feud about a year ago. Owens finally gets involved, only to be taken down by a slingshot dive as we take a break.
Back with Owens clotheslining Cesaro in the corner to set up the Cannonball for two. The hot(ish) tag brings in Sheamus for the apron forearms but he loses a fight to Reigns on the floor. Apparently there was a tag in there somewhere as Reigns is allowed to come in and beat on Sheamus, including the Superman Punch for two. Owens tags himself back in and eats a Brogue Kick, only to have Reigns spear Sheamus to give Kevin the pin at 12:10.
Rating: D+. This is feeling like the leadup to Money in the Bank with the random matches that don’t go anywhere. This was a boring tag with the “regular” team losing clean and the makeshift team seemingly setting up something after Survivor Series. I really wasn’t feeling this one and the rest of the show doesn’t seem like it’s going to be much better.
Again from Raw.
It’s time for Lesnar and Goldberg as it’s nearly halftime of Monday Night Football. Lesnar slips a bit during his jump to the apron but it’s not bad. There’s a wall of security as Goldberg tells Lesnar to shut up and stay out of this. Heyman gets cut off by the GOLDBERG chants before finally going on about all the people Lesnar has killed. Goldberg cuts him off again to say his name isn’t on that list, only to have the chants start up again. Heyman starts to offer something but Lesnar grabs the mic and tells the fans to shut up.
The offer is for Heyman to find a replacement for Sunday’s match. That means Goldberg takes off his shirt so Lesnar shoves some guards down. Heyman says the beating will be so bad that Goldberg’s son will call Lesnar daddy. The security is quickly dispatched and there’s no one left between them. Lesnar, with one of the palest chests I’ve ever seen on a wrestler, walks away. This was WAY too long but they don’t have a choice because there’s nothing left for them to do on the show.
Luke Harper vs. Apollo Crews
It feels like I haven’t seen Harper have a match in a long time. Luke immediately knocks Crews into the corner and grabs a headlock on the mat. Back up and Apollo sends it outside where he moonsaults over Luke, only to eat a superkick to send us to a break. Things aren’t much better for Crews as we come back to see him in the Gator Roll.
A Boss Man Slam gets two and it’s time to walk around shouting “YEAH YEAH YEAH”. Harper’s chinlock works as well as any given chinlock is going to work and Apollo gets up for a high crossbody. A standing shooting star press gets the same but the Toss Powerbomb is easily broken up. The discus lariat knocks Crews cold for the pin at 9:55.
Rating: C+. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to. It’s amazing what an actual fresh match between talented people can accomplish. I’m not wild on the idea of having Crews go down again but at least Harper finally won something. Maybe if he had done this while he was Intercontinental Champion, that might not be such a forgotten reign.
We wrap it up with most of the closing segment from Monday.
Here are all four bosses for the really long closing segment. They bicker a lot, the fans chant for Smackdown, Stephanie gets in a funny line with “YOU GUYS ARE AT RAW!”, Bryan points out that Foley and Shane are known for jumping off of tall structures and they debate the cruiserweight division being on the line.
Stephanie brings out the Raw team but here’s the Smackdown team through the crowd. Owens and AJ get in an argument over whose title is more important with Owens saying it’s his because he holds it. AJ suggests that Owens might wind up on the list but Jericho gives him a hug to calm things down. That means AJ JUST MADE THE LIST (pop of the night). Oh and that stupid soccer mom haircut? IT JUST MADE THE LIST! Jericho still isn’t done as he sees James Ellsworth, who is a weird looking guy. “Do you know what happens to weird looking guys on Raw? YOU JUST MADE THE LIST!”
Bray grabs the mic and yells at Braun for abandoning him after being given the keys to the kingdom. This Sunday, Smackdown destroys the monster that Bray created. A staredown ensues but Seth grabs the mic, only to start the brawl. Everyone goes after Braun with Shane getting to knock him outside. Orton gets back in but it’s Reigns cleaning house and getting booed out of the building. A DoubleBomb sends AJ onto Team Smackdown to end the show. This got really good once the bosses shut up but it’s way too late to save this dog of a show.
Overall Rating: C+. That closing segment was enough to carry it over the finish line. Couple that with two totally acceptable if not entertaining matches and this was one of the better entries in the Main Event series that I’ve seen so far. I mean granted that’s four shows but still, you have to start somewhere.
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Survivor Series Count-Up – 2013: When It Reigns, It’s Really, Really About Reigns.
Survivor Series 2013 Date: November 24, 2013
Location: TD Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 13,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
While those two matches aren’t the most interesting in the world, there is one match that had people’s interest. Daniel Bryan and CM Punk have both been having issues with the bizarre cult leader Bray Wyatt and his Family. The two will pair up tonight to face the Family (Luke Harper and Erick Rowan), though the real story will pick up when Bray himself gets involved. Let’s get to it.
Pre-Show: Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz
Miz turned on Kofi in a tag match on Raw to set this up. He offers a handshake to start but Kofi is too smart for that. We get a surprisingly fast start with Kofi trying to get a grip on Miz but settling for a rollup for two. They trade about three rollups each for three in a very nice chain wrestling sequence until we reach a stalemate. Miz goes for the Figure Four but has to duck Trouble in Paradise. Kofi sends him to the floor for a nice dive and we take a break. Back with Kofi holding a chinlock before getting two off a cross body.
Kingston pounds away in the corner but Miz sneaks underneath him and scores with a big boot to the face. Kofi fights out and hits a double stomp to the chest followed by some nice dropkicks. The Boom Drop looks to set up Trouble In Paradise but Miz ducks, only to get caught in the SOS for two. Another Figure Four attempt is countered into a small package for two and Kofi’s high cross body gets the same. Two low knees to the face/chest put Miz down but he ducks the third and grabs a rollup for the pin.
Rating: B-. This was one of the better opening matches they’ve had in a long time. The reversal sequences were very fast paced and other than a few moments here and there, the action barely stopped. Kofi losing here doesn’t hurt him at all and Miz gets a win to help boost his heel turn. Everybody wins. Well except Kofi but you get the idea.
The opening video talks about how survival is a must before transitioning to your usual hype video for the World Title matches.
Rey Mysterio/Usos/Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Real Americans/Shield
Elimination rules of course and the Real Americans are Jack Swagger and Cesaro. The Usos are twin Samoan high fliers. Ricardo Rodriguez is on Spanish commentary. Colter (a VERY proud American who wants all non-Americans to leave the country) does his usual routine before the match before attempting to twerk because what would a wrestling show be without that?
Cody and Ambrose get things going as this is the anniversary of Shield’s debut. They trade waistlocks to start but Cody takes over with some right hands, only to have Ambrose pound away in the corner. Rhodes comes back with even more punches as Cole tells us that Friday is Lawler, Colter and JBL’s birthday. Ambrose pounds away in the corner but gets in an argument with the referee, allowing Cody to get a quick rollup for the elimination.
Everything breaks down with the Usos cleaning house and hitting dives to take out all of their opponents. We settle down with Goldust vs. Rollins but it’s quickly off to Swagger to drive Goldust into the corner. Jack takes him down and Cesaro comes in with a knee drop for two. Cole messes up his history by saying Andre the Giant was the sole survivor of the first Survivor Series match (that would be the main event of the first Survivor Series and the fourth match ever).
Goldust gets a backslide for two on Cesaro and scores with a powerslam. A jawbreaker puts both guys down but Cesaro is able to tag first. Swagger comes in but misses the Vader Bomb, allowing for the hot tag off to Mysterio. He easily takes Swagger down to set up the 619 and it’s a superkick from Jimmy followed by the Superfly Splash from Jey to eliminate Swagger.
Cesaro immediately comes in with an uppercut to Jey to set up the Cesaro Swing. The fans count along with the swings but it’s only 15 revolutions. He must be tired tonight. Jimmy comes in without a tag and gets a swing of his own 19 revolution swing. Cody gets the tag and scores with a sunset flip out of nowhere for the elimination, leaving us with Rollins/Reigns vs. all five members of the other team.
Reigns comes in to work on Cody’s arm but it’s off to Jey instead. Roman easily tags him into the Shield corner and the two remaining members take over with the alternating tags. Rollins comes in with a top rope fist to Jey’s jaw and we hit the chinlock. Jey fights up and backdrops Rollins over the top rope, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. A Samoan Drop gets two on Reigns and the running Umaga attack in the corner keeps him in trouble. Jimmy goes up top but has to headbutt Reigns down. He jumps down but the spear is enough for a quick elimination.
Cody comes in with a missile dropkick followed by the moonsault press for two on Rollins. Cross Rhodes connects but Reigns made a blind tag, allowing him to spear Cody in half for the elimination, leaving us at 3-2. Jey comes in and takes Reigns to the floor, sending him into the barricade and post. Back in and Rollins makes a quick tag to set up the Black Out (running one foot curb stomp) to eliminate Jey, leaving us with Reigns/Rollins vs. Goldust/Mysterio.
It’s Rey vs. Rollins with Mysterio getting in a quick dropkick, only to go up top and get caught in the Tree of Woe. Back to Reigns who sends Mysterio out to the floor but Rey makes it back in at 9. Reigns’ spear goes into the post by mistake but Rollins knocks Goldust to the floor to prevent the hot tag. Rey grabs a rollup out of nowhere to get rid of Rollins and make it 2-1.
Rollins stomps on Mysterio a bit before leaving, giving Roman a big advantage. Rey slides through Reigns’ legs and catches him with an enziguri before sending him into the corner with a drop toehold. There’s the hot tag to Goldust who gets two off a spinebuster. He pounds down right hands to Roman in the corner before a powerslam gets two. Reigns comes right back by countering the bulldog into a spear and it’s one on one. Rey tries the 619 but gets speared in half as well, giving Reigns his star making performance with his fourth elimination for the win.
Rating: B-. Total star making performance by Reigns as he was completely unstoppable out there. Save for a meaningless fall over an Uso, Reigns literally got every elimination for his team. They’re clearly setting him up to be something special, though the results since have been very mixed.
Orton interrupts an Authority meeting and wants to make sure they’re all on the same page to start. The Authority talks down to him before telling him to go prove his worth on his own.
Intercontinental Title: Curtis Axel vs. Big E. Langston
Langston, defending here, is a powerlifter and incredibly strong. This is the rematch from when Axel lost the title on Monday before why change the title here? Axel grabs a headlock to start but Langston easily powers out. They trade leapfrogs until Langston runs him over with ease. Axel sends him to the apron and forearms Langston down to the floor for his first advantage.
The fans chant You Can’t Wrestle, presumably at Axel, though the same chant at Langston wouldn’t surprise me. Axel hits a Hennig neck snap and puts on a chinlock only to have Langston power out and suplex Axel down. There’s the Warrior Splash but Axel kicks the knee and gets two off a PerfectPlex. Not that it matters as Big E. grabs Curtis for the Big Ending to retain.
Rating: D+. Well at least it was short. This was one of the least important title matches I can think of in a long time as I don’t even think Axel believed he was taking the title here. Nothing to see here and basically it was an extended squash for Langston. That’s all it should have been too since they couldn’t do the title change here due to reasons.
Post match Langston cuts a promo that would make Mick Foley proud, mentioning Boston three times in about 20 seconds.
AJ gives a semi-maniacal speech to her teammates which they take as her saying she’s better than them. AJ says yeah she’s better because they’re just here because they’re not good enough to be on Total Divas. The promo basically buries the entire division by pointing out how worthless all of them are. Rebellion is imminent even though AJ gets a great line: “Get your own show by stealing this one.”
Team AJ vs. Total Divas
AJ Lee/Tamina Snuka/Summer Rae/Alicia Fox/Rosa Mendes/Kaitlyn/Aksana
Bella Twins/Funkadactyls/JoJo/Eva Marie/Natalya
This is the result of a reality show on the E Network called Total Divas. The show resulted in Divas Champion AJ Lee going on an incredible rant about how she was a wrestler and not a reality star, setting up a feud. The Funkadactyls (Cameron and Naomi) are Brodus Clay’s former dancers. Eva Marie and JoJo were hired only to be on Total Divas. Aksana is Lithuanian and not very good. Rosa Mendes is even worse, Summer Rae is the dance partner of a wrestler named Fandango and Kaitlyn is the anti-Diva.
The Total Divas come out in a big line to the show’s theme song because they’re SO close on that show. Naomi starts with Alicia and rolls her up for a pin in just over a minute. Rosa avoids a Rear View but gets caught in a double suplex by the Funkadactyls. Mendes comes back with a quick kick to the face to eliminate Cameron, only to be taken out by a Bella Buster from Naomi.
It’s 6-5 now and here’s Summer to dance a bit. Nikki does the Worm and we’re in a dance off. Another Bella Buster gets rid of Summer and it’s time for Eva Marie who is booed out of the building. Kaitlyn only needs the gutbuster to get rid of Eva and it’s off to Naomi again. Another gutbuster takes Naomi out as we aren’t even five minutes into the match. Brie avoids a spear from Kaitlyn and takes her out with a missile dropkick.
Aksana comes in and pins Brie after an AJ cheap shot and a spinebuster. Nikki comes in and puts Aksana in a Torture Rack backbreaker for a pin. I’m not skipping anything between these falls by the way. Tamina headbutts Nikki down a few times but the Bella comes back with an enziguri. Natalya was taken down by something the camera missed so it’s off to JoJo vs. Tamina.
Snuka toys with her but gets rolled up for two, only to kick JoJo in the face. There’s a Samoan drop for no cover because AJ wants and gets the pin. Natalya is driven into the corner by Tamina but the monster misses a charge and gets caught in the Sharpshooter. AJ tries a save but can’t get there in time and Tamina taps. Natalya reverses a quick AJ rollup into the Sharpshooter for the submission, leaving her and Nikki as the dual sole survivors.
Rating: D-. Other than their looks, nothing was good about this. The whole thing was a way to show us that Total Divas are AWESOME while making it clear that most of them are models who look good in little outfits but have no business EVER being in a ring. AJ continues to be exactly right about everything she says but WWE has decided that the reality “stars” are the heroes, no matter what.
Orton tries to get Charles Robinson on his side to no avail.
The expert panel looks to talk a bit but Ryback cuts them off. He says he’s the talent here and issues an open challenge to anyone on the roster. Here’s his answer.
Mark Henry vs. Ryback
Henry is shaved bald now and shoves Ryback around with ease. Ryback is thrown around again but gets taken down by a shot to the knee. Henry shoves Ryback to the floor for a six count but Ryback comes back in with a headbutt. Some JYD all fours headbutts get two for Henry but Ryback takes the knee out again. We hit the chinlock on Mark before he fights up with relative ease. The World’s Strongest Slam is countered and Ryback spinebusters him down. The Meathook is countered with something resembling a cross body and the World’s Strongest Slam gets the pin.
Rating: D. This was as stereotypical of a power match as you could have ever asked for. Henry didn’t look good here and was way too aloof out there rather than being the monster that got him over for good. Ryback is desperately in need of a change after all these losses he’s suffered in the last year.
Now the panel talks a bit.
We recap Cena vs. Del Rio. Nothing special to say here: Cena won the title last month and this is the rematch. Cena opts for no arm brace despite having to take a few months off for elbow surgery.
World Heavyweight Championship: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio
Cena is defending. After some big match intros we’re ready to go. Cena grabs a waistlock which gets him nowhere so Del Rio puts on a headlock to take him down to the mat. Del Rio fights free and gets two off a snap suplex before going to an armbar. They head outside for a bit with Cena going shoulder first into the steps. Back in and a top rope forearm to Cena’s shoulder gets two and we hit the armbar again. This is a really slow pace so far with Del Rio talking a lot of trash and not following up on most of his offense.
Cena starts a comeback but misses a shoulder block to keep things right where they have been all match. They head outside again with Cena being sent into the steps again, allowing Del Rio to do You Can’t See Me. Back inside and we hit the armbar again as we’re somehow approaching ten minutes into this match. Cena tries a comeback with his finishing sequence but gets caught in the Backstabber for two.
Del Rio goes up top again but gets dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down again. Cena’s finishing sequence is broken up again by a thumb to the eye and Alberto gets two off a DDT. Alberto is sent to the floor and has to dive in to beat the count. Cena does the finishing sequence at triple speed but the AA is countered into a German suplex for two but the corner enziguri misses.
The STF is countered so Cena grabs a tornado DDT for another near fall. Del Rio takes him down again and stands around a lot before putting John in the Tree of Woe. That goes nowhere as Cena avoids a charge to send Del Rio into the post. The top rope Fameasser gets two but the STF is broken by a rope. Del Rio’s low superkick gets two and a neckbreaker from Cena gets the same. Del Rio grabs the armbreaker out of nowhere but Cena counters into a powerbomb to escape. Another armbreaker is countered and the AA retains Cena’s title.
Rating: D+. The lack of drama crippled this one for me. There was zero doubt for me as to who was going to win and the only question was whether it would be the AA or the STF. Del Rio just isn’t a threat to Cena at all and he never has been. Why WWE insists on going with that match time after time is beyond me. Put Alberto against Langston for a while to give Big E. a rub or whatever, but keep him away from Cena.
Santino and R-Truth play with toys. Los Matadores (Primo and Epico as bullfighters), Fandango and John Laurinitis come in for some unfunny comedy. Ok Ace was funny at least.
We recap the Wyatts vs. Punk/Bryan. Not much to this one either. The good guys are heroes and that’s not cool with Bray so he’s sent his monsters to show the world that there are no heroes.
Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk/Daniel Bryan
Before the match Bray talks about Sister Abigail telling him how tough Bryan and Punk would be. They’re the reapers though, so Punk and Bryan should run. Bray’s promos have always been strange. Bryan and Rowan get things going with Daniel firing off kicks to the leg. Rowan easily throws him down but Daniel takes him into the corner for a tag off to Punk which doesn’t get a huge reaction.
Harper comes in and charges into a boot in the corner, only to rip away at Punk’s face and chop him down. Back to Rowan for a bearhug but Punk fights out very quickly. Punk escapes a suplex and Bryan comes in to try a double suplex, only to have Rowan suplex both guys down. Bryan drives Rowan into the corner for some double kicks to the ribs to put Erick down. The crowd doesn’t seem interested in this match.
Back to Harper who is taken into the hero corner as well before a double dropkick puts both guys down. Bryan fires off the kicks and plays Bret to Punk’s Neidhart in a Hart Attack. Rowan tries to come in and the distraction lets Harper kick Punk’s head off for two. Rowan cranks on Punk’s neck for a bit before getting two off a backbreaker. Back to Harper for an uppercut followed by a quickly released Gator Roll. Rowan gets caught talking to the sheep mask which Cole finds strange for some reason.
Harper gets two off a Michinoku Driver before it’s back to Erick for some more neck cranking. Punk gets a boot up in the corner to stagger Rowan and a running DDT puts both guys down. A double tag brings in Bryan to face Harper and Daniel starts up his usual sequence. Luke gets low bridged to the floor and the FLYING GOAT (suicide dive) takes Harper out, possibly injuring the monster’s knee.
A missile dropkick gets two and there are the YES Kicks. The running dropkick in the corner staggers the big man but Harper counters a top rope hurricanrana into a super sitout powerbomb for two. The fans think this is awesome as Bray yells at the Family. Rowan splashes Bryan for two and the second heat segment begins. Harper comes in with some forearms to the back but Punk kicks him in the back of the head to give Bryan a breather.
There’s the hot tag off to Punk who takes Harper down but he dives on Rowan and Bray instead of Luke. Now the Macho Elbow connects on Harper for two and everything breaks down. The running knee takes Rowan down and Punk counters the discus lariat into the GTS for the pin on Harper.
Rating: B. This was the old school tag team formula and it worked perfectly well. Punk and Bryan are good choices for matches like this and there’s nothing wrong with the Wyatts getting pinned. The money in the feud is Bray in the ring with either of them and that’s certainly coming in the future.
Bray teases getting in but stays on the floor.
Cena is talking to the Authority about something when Orton comes in to glare at them. The Viper sounds jealous.
We recap Big Show vs. Randy Orton. Orton is supposed to be the face of the WWE but the Authority isn’t very confident in him. Big Show has weaseled his way into a title match tonight due to the threat of a lawsuit which could take over the entire company because that’s what heroes do. They’ve been brawling for a few weeks and Big Show looks dominant while Orton has no backup tonight. I wonder what’s going to happen.
WWE Championship: Randy Orton vs. Big Show
Orton is defending and is on the floor about a second after the bell rings. He trips getting back inside to show how confused he is tonight and gets chopped LOUDLY by Big Show. More slow offense sets up more chops by Big Show but Orton comes back with a dropkick and some kicks to the head. A knee drop gets two for the champion and we hit a sleeper. Big Show loudly says “two clotheslines” before hitting two clotheslines and calling for the chokeslam, sending Orton running to the floor.
Back in and Big Show slams him down before going to the top rope, only to be crotched on the top rope. The Elevated DDT out of the corner puts Big Show down and Orton poses a lot. Show grabs a chokeslam out of nowhere for two and loads up the KO punch but Orton bails to the floor. The big man follows him to the floor and throws Orton at the ropes, taking out the referee in the process. Randy finds a chair but gets it slapped out of his hands before they go into the crowd.
That goes nowhere so they head back to ringside where Orton tries the Elevated DDT again, only to have Show escape and hit the KO punch. Back inside and the Authority comes out for a distraction, allowing Orton to hit a quick RKO. The annoying crowd chants for Daniel Bryan as Orton hits the Punt to retain.
Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Unfortunately, it was exactly what most people were expecting. Big Show was trying but there’s only so much you can do when Orton spends a third of an eleven minute match running, not counting the interference at the end. Horrid main event but I guess it sets up HHH vs. Big Show.
Post match here’s Cena to hold up the World Heavyweight Championship while Orton holds up the WWE Championship. That’s Wrestlemania it would seem, but it would actually be next month.
Overall Rating: D+. This show had its moments but they totally lost me around the time of the Henry match. The card was about the same as it felt like it was going to be with a few good matches but little to care about in the main event scenes. Orton vs. Big Show was as nothing of a match as it could have been and the interference was just predictable. This show just didn’t feel necessary though it wasn’t the worst effort ever.
Ratings Comparison
The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston
Original:B-
Redo: C
Real Americans/Shield vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio/Usos
Impact Wrestling – November 17, 2016: The New New Divide
Impact Wrestling Date: November 17, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: D’Angelo Dinero, Josh Matthews
The big story coming out of last week’s show is the unmasking of the DCC, which revealed James Storm, Bram and the yet to be named Eddie Kingston to be behind the recent attacks. The group has targeted Eddie Edwards and the Hardys, meaning we might be seeing the some combination of the three fighting the DCC tonight. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s show ending beatdown.
Here’s Eddie Edwards for an opening chat. Eddie is a nice guy but he knows he has a target on his back. He’ll get right to it: he’s not leaving this ring until he gets to fight a member of the DCC. Cue all three of them though and the beatdown is quickly on with Eddie Kingston finally being officially referred to as…..Kingston. Jeff Hardy comes out for the save and cleans house.
After a break, Eddie and Jeff go in to see the boss (meaning Billy Corgan, who isn’t named here) but Aiden O’Shea won’t allow the cameras follow them in.
Jesse Godderz vs. Aron Rex
Non-title and pinfall or submission only, making this a glorified street fight. Jesse doesn’t waste any time and knocks Rex straight into the corner before trying an early Adonis Lock. That earns him a rake to the eyes and a chinlock because Rex is the kind of heel who uses a chinlock two minutes into a match. Rex takes it outside and sends Jesse into the barricade, followed by yet another chinlock. That steams Jesse’s hair so he sends Aron outside and then hammers away back inside. The Adonis Lock makes Rex tap at 7:53.
Rating: D+. The story here is solid enough but that really doesn’t make it interesting, which is mainly due to Rex. He won a title in a competition that didn’t work well in the first place and now he’s a heel just because, which puts him in a feud that keeps going against Godderz. Not terrible here but I have no interest in watching these two again.
Laurel Van Ness is texting Braxton Sutter, much to Allie’s annoyance. Maria comes up and laughs at Allie for thinking Brandi Rhodes wants to be her partner.
Due to the attack last week, Gail Kim is forced to vacate the Knockouts Title.
Hardy and Edwards get to face the DCC in an anything goes handicap match tonight.
Sienna/Laurel Van Ness vs. Brandi Rhodes/???
The villains seem to be called the Lady Squad. Better than Ladyballs I guess. Maria laughs at the idea that no one wants to be Brandi’s partner but Rhodes has a surprise: Madison Rayne. Madison and Sienna get things going with some forearms putting Sienna in trouble. It only takes some choking to get her back in control though, followed by Laurel choking with her boot in the corner.
A snap suplex gets two for Laurel but a missed charge allows Madison to make the hot tag to Brandi. Unfortunately that leaves Brandi to clean house and she’s just not ready to do that. Madison and Laurel fight outside and a bad looking Downward Spiral puts Sienna away at 6:01.
Rating: D. Brandi is in a weird place here as she’s being pushed as a big deal but just isn’t capable of hanging at that level in the ring yet. That being said, she’s had all of three matches and there’s definitely a natural charisma there. I don’t know if she’ll be in the ring long term but she’s trying. Unfortunately she’s trying on a stage she’s not ready for yet and that’s making things look bad.
Matt Hardy, still sane, doesn’t understand why he would give the trick or treaters green beans. Reby tells him to go back to the Impact Zone to save his brother but Matt would rather delete e-mails, including the Young Bucks newsletter. He mentions unsubscribing and the Scribe appears….but only Matt can see him. Reby wants him to get help.
Trevor Lee vs. Ethan Carter III vs. Lashley vs. Mike Bennett
One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. It’s a big brawl to start with Lashley getting the better of it by suplexing Bennett and throwing Lee over the down and down onto Ethan. Back from a break with Trevor getting in some kicks to everyone’s face as Josh plugs the Wolf Creek season finale. Bennett and Lee seem to form a quick alliance but as is so often the case, it breaks down as soon as one of them wants the pin.
The fans want someone to kill the troll as Carter takes some shoulders in the corner. Ethan comes right back and loads up a double 1%er, only to get speared in half by Lashley. A cutter drops Lashley and a deadlift German suplex gives Lee two on Carter. Bennett starts snapping off superkicks and spinebusters, only to have Lashley give him the real spinebuster. Lee suplexes Lashley to block the spear (sweet counter) and dives over the top to take out Carter and Lashley. Back in and Carter grabs a sleeper to make Lee tap at 14:07.
Rating: C+. This was getting fun but at the same time it’s getting a bit tiresome to have Lashley and Carter rotating into the #1 contenders spot over and over and over. You know they’re going to get their title shots at some point so just let them have it later and try someone else in those spots for a change.
Reby and Matt look at some Broken Matt videos and Matt is terrified of the chaos.
It’s time for Fact of Life with Eli Drake asking Ethan to come out here and be his guest. Drake gets right to the point: he wants one more match with Carter with that title shot on the line. Ethan wisely says no but Drake sweetens the pot by saying he won’t challenge for the title for one year if he loses. That’s not cool with Ethan, who wants people like Eli chasing him near the top of the ladder. However, he also wants one more fight with Drake so let’s do it next week. If Drake wins, he gets the title shot but if he loses, he can’t speak for the rest of the year. That’s good enough for Drake and the deal is made.
Decay threatens Jade with destruction at the hands of Rosemary.
Basile Baraka vs. Mahabali Shera
This feud just won’t go away. Baraka takes him down and chokes with the boot as Josh goes into a way over the top plug for a new sitcom at Pop. Shera gets tired of the trash talk and gets in a powerslam but a camel clutch is countered into a rollup for two. Another slam sets up another camel clutch to make Baraka tap at 4:05.
Rating: D. Why is this still a thing? I know they need to fill in time but is this really the best they have? Or is Shera just there to keep the Sony Six people happy? Neither guy is interesting and the Tribunal, which could have been at least something, has turned into one of the least interesting acts in a long time.
Post match the Tribunal beats Shera down until Al Snow makes the save. Josh: “AL SNOW IS TRENDING WORLDWIDE ON TWITTER RIGHT NOW!” Does Josh know that trending on Twitter is a real thing and not just a random statement? Snow and Shera shake hands, which Josh calls the Mega Powers uniting. He might be the greatest troll announcer ever and I doubt he has any idea of it.
Rosemary is creepy to Jade and it’s announced that their Knockouts Title match will be inside a cage.
Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy vs. DCC
Handicap match and anything goes. Jeff is just normal Jeff Hardy here and gets in an early Twist of Fate on Bram. It’s too early for the Swanton though as the rest of the DCC pulls Bram outside, leaving Jeff to dive on all three of them. Eddie gets in a few shots on Storm as we take a break. Back with the DCC in control until Jeff hits Storm in the back with a few chair shots. Kingston is sent through two open chairs in the ring but Bram comes in for the save. The Brighter Side of Suffering through a table plants Edwards, allowing Storm to superkick Jeff for the pin at 13:43.
Rating: C. Not bad here but, as is always the case, TNA doesn’t know how to wait on something. It’s fairly clear that Matt is going to be the big savior for TNA and the six man will result in Final Deletion XIX or so. That should be entertaining, but would it kill TNA to wait a little longer before doing these big matches?
Overall Rating: C-. Impact really is cut in half at this point as the top half of the show is going really well but there’s such a big gap further down the card. It’s kind of hard to go from a “dream” tag team vs. the TNA Wyatts to Snow/Shera vs. the Tribunal. I’m having a little more fun watching Impact lately but, as usual, I have no reason to believe it’s going to last.
Results
Jesse Godderz b. Aron Rex – Adonis Lock
Brandi Rhodes/Madison Rayne b. Sienna/Laurel Van Ness – Downward Spiral to Sienna
Ethan Carter III b. Lashley, Trevor Lee and Mike Bennett – Sleeper to Lee
Mahabali Shera b. Basile Baraka – Camel clutch
DCC b. Eddie Edwards/Jeff Hardy – Last Call to Hardy
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