In Your House #6: Rage in the Cage
Date: February 18, 1996
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

This is the final show before Wrestlemania XII, meaning almost everything has been set up for the show already. There main question is who will be facing whom for the world title. Other than Diesel vs. Bret tonight, there’s also the case of who gets to face the winner for the title. As mentioned Shawn has won the right to fight for the title, but he also wants revenge against Owen Hart for putting him out, so tonight Shawn is putting his Wrestlemania title shot on the line for a shot at Owen. Let’s get to it.

The opening video talks about the mindsets of Diesel and Bret and what role the Undertaker might play in the whole thing.

Vince and Jerry preview the show for us.

Razor Ramon vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This is a Crybaby Match, meaning the loser is put in a diaper. It’s also the final encounter in a story that has run over two years and seen both guys turn at one point. The Kid also cost Razor the Intercontinental Title at the Rumble. He throws a diaper in Razor’s face and gets punched in the face for his efforts before a big clothesline sends Kid flying over the top and out to the floor.

The Kid snaps Razor’s throat over the top rope and comes back in with a springboard clothesline before kicking away in the corner to take over. A big spin kick takes Razor’s head off and he fires off chops in the corner, only to be reversed into a big hiptoss to give Ramon control again. There’s the fallaway slam but the Kid bails to the floor to escape the Razor’s Edge. To play up the gimmick of the match, DiBiase slips the Kid some baby powder to throw in Razor’s eyes (not a DQ for no apparent reason) to give the Kid two.

A pair of legdrops and a top rope splash gets another two count on Ramon and Kid hooks a sleeper. The hold stays on for almost three minutes but Razor finally fights up and crotches the Kid on the top rope for the break. Back up and Ramon scores with some right hands before rolling through a high cross body for two. Kid comes back with a big spin wheel kick for two but gets caught in a middle rope fallaway slam to knock him silly. DiBiase gives the Kid more powder but Razor kicks it into Kid’s face before planting him with the Razor’s Edge. He pulls Kid up at two though before hitting a second Edge for the pin.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here and a good choice for an opener but the sleeper went on too long. This is one of those stories that went on so long that it was hard to care about either guy at the end of it, but it got the Kid to a higher level than he would have been at otherwise which is a good sign. This was probably their best match in the entire story too.

Post match the Kid has a baby bottle poured down his throat, gets put in a diaper and covered in baby powder.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Duke Droese

Helmsley is accompanied by Elizabeth Hilden, a Penthouse Pet of the Year (not mentioned here of course). Droese is another of those one note characters, this time a wrestling garbage man. Helmsley cut Duke’s hair recently so this is about revenge. Droese charges the ring and pounds away on Helmsley in the corner before slamming him down hard. Duke takes off his vest to whip Helmsley before booting him in the jaw.

A backdrop puts Helmsley down as Lawler hits on the Penthouse chick. Helmsley’s Pedigree attempt is countered with an atomic drop and a clothesline puts him down again. Droese misses a charge and gets backdropped out to the floor, possibly injuring his shoulder. Helmsley whips him into the post for two and pounds away but Duke comes back for a slug out. A jumping knee to the face gets two on Droese and a snap suplex gets the same.

Helmsley charges into a boot in the corner and a double clothesline puts both guys down. The Penthouse girl is at least watching and seems to be interested in what’s going on. That’s all you can ask for with “celebrities” like her so I’ll take what I can get. A spinebuster puts Helmsley down and a big backdrop does the same. There’s a powerslam for no cover but Duke says it’s time to take out the trash. He hits his tilt-a-whirl powerslam (the Trash Compactor) but goes to get his garbage can instead of covering. The referee throws it out but the distraction allows Helmsley to blast Duke with the can lid for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here with Droese having some nice power stuff in there. The story doesn’t really work because it’s such a low level idea but the hair cutting stuff from a few weeks ago gave it a personal touch. Not a great match or anything but it did its job well enough. Helmsley is getting some character development over the months too which is what he needs more than anything.

We recap the collapse of Camp Cornette, which culminated in the British Bulldog accidentally hitting Yokozuna and costing them a tag match. Cornette berated Yokozuna after the match and the big man erupted, turning face in the process.

Yokozuna cuts his first promo ever, saying it’s his time to take the spotlight from Cornette.

Yokozuna vs. British Bulldog

The big man slugs Bulldog down within seconds and there’s a slam for good measure. Yokozuna misses an elbow drop though and Bulldog starts the very slow choking. It only lasts a few seconds though as Yokozuna crushes him in the corner but Cornette breaks up the Banzai Drop attempt. We get a VERY slow fight on the floor until Bulldog avoids a charge into the post and they head back inside. A top rope ax handle gets two for Smith but Yokozuna hits a quick (by comparison) Samoan drop, drawing in Cornette with a tennis racket shot for the DQ.

Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but what we got was as bad as it sounded. There’s just nothing you can do with a guy Yokozuna’s size unless you’re a monster yourself. Smith is a powerful guy but he’s hardly a giant. Nothing much to see here though but at least it was short.

Post match Yokozuna goes after Cornette until Vader, the new monster of Camp Cornette, comes out to slug Yokozuna down into the corner and handcuff him to the ropes. The beating ensues and goes on longer than it should have.

Goldust is on AOL for an interview and hits on the guy doing the typing.

We recap Shawn vs. Owen which we’ve covered for the most part. Owen is bragging about injuring Shawn’s head but tonight Michaels is back and putting up his Wrestlemania title shot for a chance at revenge.

Shawn says this is the biggest match of his career because if he doesn’t win, he can’t achieve his destiny at Wrestlemania.

Owen Hart vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn comes in from the roof of the house set, dancing atop the garage. Feeling out process to start with Shawn sliding through Owen’s legs and all the way out to the floor to show Owen up a bit. Michaels kisses a woman in the front row on the cheek, sending her nearly into delirium. Back in and Owen slides through the legs just like Shawn did, only Michaels goes up top and dives to the floor to take Owen out. Back in and a top rope ax handle to the head gets two for Michaels.

Owen gets taken down with ease and Shawn walks up his back to show off even more. We hit a headlock for a bit with Shawn messing up Owen’s hair. Owen gets a quick takedown but Shawn kicks him away, allowing both guys to nip up at the same time. A hurricanrana takes Owen down and Shawn pounds away, only to walk into a belly to belly suplex to give Owen his first advantage.

A neckbreaker gets two for Owen as he starts going after Shawn’s head. Scratch that actually as Shawn has to kick out of a Sharpshooter attempt but gets caught in an armbar. The hold is shifted into a camel clutch before Owen gets two off a rollup. Off to a chinlock as the rest holds continue to abound. Back up and the spinwheel kick sends Shawn out to the floor, possibly injuring Shawn’s head again.

Back in again and Shawn throws Hart to the floor and dives off the apron, only to get caught in a powerslam down to the floor. A missile dropkick gets two for Owen and Shawn is in big trouble. Shawn is whipped upside down in the corner and gets his head taken off with a hard clothesline for no cover. There’s the Sharpshooter as Owen completely changes his offensive strategy for the sake of using a signature move.

Michaels is dragged back to the middle of the ring but finally grabs the bottom rope. Back up and Owen hits his enziguri, sending Shawn out to the floor and seemingly out on consciousness. Back in and Owen only gets a two count but Shawn comes back with a flying forearm to the head. He nips up and the energy is rolling. There’s the top rope elbow and a right hand for Cornette before Sweet Chin Music sends Shawn to Wrestlemania.

Rating: B. This was good but it didn’t hit the level they were going for. That being said, this was exactly what they were supposed to be doing with Shawn coming back from his injury and winning the match completely clean in the middle of the ring. Shawn was on a roll at this point and the fans were WAY into him.

Post match Shawn dances with an 8 year old girl in the ring. Nice moment.

Here’s acting president Roddy Piper with something to say. He thinks Michael Jackson is guilty (topical at the time) before officially announcing Shawn as #1 contender to the world title. Second he doesn’t feel sorry for Yokozuna because he let himself get cuffed to the ropes. Piper thinks Vader is inbred and that his mask looks like a jockstrap. Vader vs. Yokozuna is officially made for Wrestlemania.

This brings out Cornette but Piper immediately cuts him off and demands respect. Cornette talks about how the old Piper was afraid of nothing but now he’s afraid of Vader. Piper cuts him off again and says that if Vader loses at Wrestlemania, Cornette has to face Yokozuna one on one. This was a way to give the ring crew time to set up the cage.

WWF World Title: Diesel vs. Bret Hart

In a cage of course and you can win by escape only. Diesel pounds him into the corner to start but Bret comes back with right hands of his own, only to be shoved down with ease. The big man fires off more right hands in the corner before talking some trash. A HARD whip across the ring shakes the cage and Bret is in big trouble early. The champion slips away from Diesel, sending his head into the cage. Bret rams it in again and drops some elbows on Diesel’s head. Very physical match so far.

Bret goes up but Diesel makes the stop and rams Bret back first into the cage wall. He tries to get out but Bret crotches him with the ropes and fires off even more right hands to the head. Neither guy can escape so Bret goes after the knee to slow Diesel down. Bret fights back up and clotheslines Hart down as Lawler wonders why they’re not running to escape as soon as the other guy is down. A sidewalk slam puts Hart down again but he takes out the knee again to regain control.

Hart goes for the escape but only gets one leg out when Diesel makes another stop and launches Bret off the top rope in a slam. Diesel charges into a knee in the corner and gets bulldogged down but Bret can’t follow up. We get another escape attempt by Bret but this time Diesel suplexes him down for the stop. They’re getting a little repetitive here.

Diesel misses a charge in the corner and hurts his knee again, giving Bret an opening. The champion goes after the bad wheel and drops a middle rope elbow on it for good measure. Diesel counters a whip to give us the chest first buckle bump, which sounds AWESOME here because of the cage shaking. The challenger pounds away with elbows in the corner but Bret kicks him in the knee for a breather.

Hart goes up again and gets all the way out of the cage but Diesel pulls him up by the hair in a painful looking sequence. Diesel stays on Bret’s back by cannonballing down onto the spine, only to be rammed face first into the cage for his efforts. The big man pokes Hart in the eye and the fans are entirely in his corner at the moment.

Bret fights up and slugs away before taking Diesel down with the Russian legsweep. There’s the middle rope elbow but Diesel pulls Bret down again to put both guys on the mat. Diesel goes for the door but the Undertaker pops up through the mat and pulls Diesel down under the ring. Smoke pours out of the hole as Bret climbs out to retain the title.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty boring match for the most part with a very repetitive sequence going on throughout the twenty minutes. Diesel needed to be more physical out there and this is one of the few instances where pinfalls could have helped a cage match. Diesel wasn’t going to escape, but the threat of a Jackknife could have helped things out a lot.

Diesel and Undertaker crawl out of the hole with Diesel escaping from further torment.

Overall Rating: C-. It’s a better show overall due to the really good Shawn match and some other nice stuff in between but it’s still no classic. They’re definitely getting the formula down though and things will be changing even more with the events of Wrestlemania. Better show here and thankfully these are getting much easier to sit through. That’s a sign of the times in the WWF, which would actually lead to much darker days, which we’ll get to soon enough.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 5, 1996
Location: Civic Auditorium, Stockton, California
Attendance: 2,904
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on In Your House VI but unfortunately we’re starting this month at the end of a taping cycle, meaning a burned out crowd and weak writing. The big story at the moment is the upcoming Bret Hart vs. Diesel cage match for the WWF World Title but Undertaker is looming as well. Let’s get to it.

Shawn Michaels/Diesel vs. Yokozuna/British Bulldog

Vince and Jerry go out of their way to point out that Shawn and Diesel are undefeated as a team. Camp Cornette has been having problems of late so there are a few variables here. Shawn and the Bulldog have a posedown to start until they take turns sending each other to the floor. Yokozuna tries to sneak up on Shawn (as well as a 600+ man can sneak) so Diesel picks Shawn up and tosses him to knock Yokozuna down.

It’s off to Diesel vs. Yokozuna as Vince plugs those stupid Billionaire Ted skits. A Samoan drop (You think Vince knows what to call that?) drops Diesel and Bulldog low bridges Shawn out to the floor. The delayed vertical suplex plants Shawn as the announcers play fantasy bookers about the World Title situation.

Back from a break with Shawn in more trouble (makes sense) and Yokozuna putting on a nerve hold. Shawn finally avoids the big splash and Diesel comes in to clean house. I know he’s not the most popular booker but I’ve always enjoyed watching Nash do his big power stuff. Everything breaks down and Shawn superkicks Yokozuna to the floor for the countout.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here and for once I can completely get the idea of not having someone get pinned. If they’re setting up Yokozuna as a loser, it’s a stretch to complain about getting pinned by Shawn so having him get knocked out because he’s too fast is a smart way to go about it.

Post match Cornette yells at Yokozuna, who beats him up to turn face.

Someone is coming and he’s missing part of an ear.

Hakushi vs. 1-2-3 Kid

This could be good. Feeling out process to start as neither guy wants to go too fast. Kid tries to spin around a bit and gets caught by a superkick underneath the chin. A quick toss to the floor has Hakushi in trouble and a flip dive over the top draws absolutely no reaction. I don’t know if the crowd is just bored or what but that was SILENCE. We take a break and come back with Kid getting dropkicked out of the air to put both guys down. Another kick to the face puts the Kid on the floor and Hakushi follows him out with a nice dive. Back in and Hakushi goes up but gets butterfly superplexed back down for the pin.

Rating: B-. This got better near the end but that crowd reaction tells you a lot. You would think a match between two high fliers like these guys would have gotten at least some kind of a reaction, but when the Kid’s feud is setting up a “loser wears a diaper” match, it’s not the easiest thing in the world to get behind.

Clarence Mason is annoyed that Vader isn’t reinstated and promises to sue the WWF.

Video of Vader attacking Gorilla Monsoon to earn himself a suspension.

Monsoon says his injuries will heal and apologizes to the fans for losing his cool. He knows Roddy Piper will be fine as interim boss.

WWF World Title: Undertaker vs. Bret Hart

If this doesn’t wake them up, nothing will. Undertaker is challenging and throws Bret around to start before a headbutt gives us a stalemate. An uppercut puts Bret down and we hit the always stupid smother hold. Old School is loaded up but here’s Diesel for a distraction to break it up. Bret takes over as Diesel sits in for some commentary as this is still going slowly. It’s time to go after the leg with Bret dropping elbows and wrapping it around the post.

Back from a break with Undertaker hitting a belly to back suplex and sending Bret into the barricade. Old School connects the second time but the referee gets bumped on the Tombstone attempt. Bret escapes into a rollup for no count and it’s time to go back to the leg. That’s enough for Diesel as he jumps Bret from behind and Jackknifes Undertaker. We go to a second break and come back with…..the match having ended during the break. Eh to be fair it was pretty much over already.

Rating: C+. It’s a shame that triple threats weren’t a thing in this company yet as this three way feud really deserved everyone fighting at the same time. It’s interesting stuff and I get why they didn’t want to have Undertaker do a job here, especially on a TV match. I can’t complain much about a non-finish on Raw, though the fans might when Nitro had a title change two weeks earlier.

And now, a Billionaire Ted sketch to wrap things up. It’s a press conference with Ted saying he’ll do anything to put the WWF out of business while Nacho Man and Huckster try to fight each other. Ted doesn’t care about losing millions of dollars of stockholders’ money because he’s just having fun. Maggle! These things are so petty and such an embarrassment.

The show was pre-empted on February 12 so next up is February 19.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling was better here but this was actually the go home show for the pay per view due to the show not being on next week. In that sense this was a pretty strong show with four out of the five pay per view matches getting some time, which is a lot better than you would normally expect from Raw. The three way feud continues to have my attention but it’s all just filling in time until Shawn gets the belt anyway.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Smackdown
Date: April 4, 2002
Location: Blue Cross Arena, Rochester, New York
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

After Monday’s less than amazing debut for Raw, it’s time to see if Smackdown can save the opening week of the Brand Split. This show has its share of stars including The Rock, Chris Jericho, Hulk Hogan and Kurt Angle. Those names alone should be enough to help carry this past Raw but this company has managed to disappoint me with less. Let’s get to it.

Vince (dang I thought this was Smackdown) wishes us good evening. On Raw, Ric Flair picked Undertaker as #1 contender but that wasn’t his right. Vince won the coin toss and the right to name the #1 contender, which he’ll do tonight. It’s really not a good sign that they’re changing matches that fast.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Kurt Angle to say he’d love to be #1 contender. That would make sense given how things have been going lately. Since the fans keep “dissing” him, he has a list of reasons why he should get the title shot.

1. He OWNS HHH.

2. He won an Olympic gold medal.

3. He is adored by children and senior citizens worldwide!

Before he can list off his other twenty six reasons, here’s Chris Jericho to interrupt. Jericho’s only rematch has been in a stupid triple threat match where Stephanie lost (true) and despite what the people here think, he is NOT a has been. Jericho suggests a match for the #1 contendership and Kurt shakes his hand but the Rock comes out with something to say. There’s only one man, AND THE ROCK MEANS ONE MAN who should face HHH for the title at Backlash. Rock doesn’t actually say who that is because he thinks there might be someone else.

One day Rock will be WWF Champion but until then, no one deserves the shot more than Hulk Hogan. I know they’re friends and all, but Rock saying Hogan should get a title shot after he beat Hogan at Wrestlemania and was drafted higher really doesn’t feel right. Find another way to get Hogan in the title picture though as Rock saying it isn’t working for me. After a double IT DOESN’T MATTER to Angle and Jericho and a poll from the crowd, Rock implores Vince to give Hogan the shot.

Earlier tonight, Albert confirmed that he was with Scotty for the Tag Team Title match.

Tag Team Titles: Billy and Chuck vs. Scotty 2 Hotty/Albert

Billy and Chuck are defending of course. We look at Rico talking to the announcers for some reason before Hotty takes Chuck down to start. Scotty takes things to another level by sending Chuck head first into Billy’s…..we’ll say stomach. Chuck’s offense doesn’t last long as he eats a superkick and there’s the hot tag to the Hip Hop Hippo (just go with it) to clean house. Albert gets distracted by Rico (never look directly at the sideburns) and the chase lets Rico sneak in and kick Scotty in the face so Billy can get the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing to see here but you can almost see the post match heel turn from heel. It’s not like they have a ton of midcard acts at the moment so one less nothing tag team isn’t going to hurt anything. Albert is a former Intercontinental Champion so just let him beat up goons for a bit.

Post match, as expected, Albert beats the heck out of Scotty and says he put up with the dancing for six months.

Vince grabs Hogan the title shot.

Jericho freaks out and yells at Rock for getting Hogan the title shot. He brings up the great point that Hogan couldn’t even win at Wrestlemania and Jericho beat Rock over and over. Rock suggests Jericho try to beat him tonight and an exchange of fisticuffs is agreed upon.

Video on Christian’s losing streak and ensuing tantrums. Diamond Dallas Page helped Christian break the streak but Christian attacked him after the match. Page then beat him at Wrestlemania and the biggest fit yet ensued.

Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian

Page monkey flips him to start as the announcers are already talking about Backlash. Christian gets in an elbow to the face and grabs a chinlock so this is probably going to be a short match. The reverse DDT gets two and Christian throws a fit, only to sucker Page in for the Unprettier and the pin.

Rating: D+. Who would have thought a match involving Christian freaking out would have psychology? Hopefully this moves Christian on to something else as Page really doesn’t have much of a future due to his age and people not really caring about him in the WWF in the first place. The match was fine but I could go for something lasting a bit longer.

Kurt Angle thinks Hillbilly Jim should be President if Hogan gets the title shot. Edge comes up and says he feels bad about their recent problems. He’s found some pictures of their good old days but of course there are jokes on the back, such as “You Suck”, “Yes I Do Suck” and “And I’m A Dork.” It’s true, though thank goodness Edge was on the right side and Angle took the pictures when he did or this could have been embarrassing for Edge.

Here’s HHH for his bi-weekly chat, this time about the new #1 contender. The more I look at that Undisputed Title, the less I like it by comparison to the original two belts. If nothing else the other two were bigger, as World Titles should be. HHH doesn’t care if he’s fighting Hogan because he’ll fight Undertaker next. Cue Hogan in the red and yellow (first time in almost ten years in the WWF) to talk about…..Wrestlemania I?

Then he moves on to Wrestlemania III (now with 94,000 people there) and Wrestlemania XVIII, both of which he thought would never be topped. Nothing is bigger than the title though (not exactly, as it wasn’t even the biggest match at Wrestlemania) and HHH says it would be an honor to be in the ring with Hulk Hogan (Like he is now?).

In a bit of a twist, HHH says he’s looked up to Hogan his whole life. At Backlash though, he won’t hesitate to hurt Hogan every way he can. Hogan thinks it’s funny that everyone keeps declaring Hulkamania dead because it’s going to rise up again at Backlash. A lot of posing takes us out as the serious HHH awkwardly leaves. Again: I get why they have to do something with Hogan while they can but this feels really forced.

Edge vs. Kurt Angle

I miss Never Gonna Stop. Kurt stomps him down and throws a good looking German suplex to start as the announcers talk about how amazing the previous segment was. In other words, they’re probably putting it on the same level as the Rock vs. Hogan promo the previous month because in the WWF, HHH and Rock are total equals. Edge’s half nelson facebuster gets him out of trouble for a bit and Angle gets tied in the ropes. Some spears (which still look lame coming from Edge) have him in even more trouble so he chairs Edge for the DQ.

Rating: D. Anytime this show wants to deliver a match that breaks four minutes, please let me know. This is a problem that the modern Brand Split is running into as well (Raw more than Smackdown): you don’t have to put everything on every week. It’s ok to alternate back and forth for a bit and let something get a little focus.

Edge fights Angle off.

Billy Kidman wishes luck to his ex-Torrie Wilson and her boyfriend Tajiri in their match later. Tajiri comes up and rants in Japanese. Just do the heel turn/split.

Cruiserweight Title: Kidman vs. Tajiri

Tajiri is defending. Kidman dropkicks him down to start and seems to be going fast, likely due to another lack of time. A kick to the head puts Kidman on the floor and there’s an Asai moonsault for a very week ECW chant. Back in and the tornado DDT is countered into a sitout powerbomb (nice counter) but Kidman can’t hit the shooting star. The frustrated champion grabs his title and puts it in the corner, only to have Torrie take it away. Kidman uses the distraction to roll Tajiri up for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This felt like an Alliance era title change with the action having no meaning other than the forced angle at the end. Kidman winning the title doesn’t really change anything but it’s not like the Cruiserweight Title means anything at this point. Splitting Torrie and Tajiri (pretty obvious at this point) probably won’t lead anywhere and it’s another story to add to the pile tonight.

Tajiri berates Torrie and leaves.

Vince is mad at Maven for costing Smackdown the Hardcore Title last week. His solution: send Hardcore Holly after him. Bob leaves and here’s Stacy Keibler, (“Just call me Vince.”) to offer the boss his services, which includes bending over in front of the camera. Wouldn’t it make sense to bend over where Vince can see it?

Stacy loved Vince’s talk about intellectual sperm and he likes the way she walks. They sit down and we go to a break, coming back with Vince fixing his clothes. Stacy is gone so here’s D-Von to yell about splitting up the Dudley Boyz. He demands an explanation so Vince tells him to get out until he’s ready to be a star. Did we just get three Vince segments in one? That’s excessive even by his standards.

Al Snow gives Maven a pep talk by saying he would have had to get mugged to get the kind of beating Hardcore Holly is going to give him.

Hardcore Holly vs. Maven

Cole hypes up Rock vs. Jericho, which will have no titles on the line. Could that be because neither is a champion? Holly punches in the corner and does his kick to the “lower abdomen”, only to miss a high cross body. Maven gets two off a missile dropkick but the Alabama Slam ends him in a hurry. I’m sure there was a point to this one somewhere.

We look at Rock challenging Jericho earlier in the night.

The Rock vs. Chris Jericho

They slug it out in the aisle to start and I’ll let you guess who gets the better of it. Rock gets catapulted into the post for the great looking bump and they head inside for the opening bell. Right hands and a spinwheel kick get two for Chris as the announcers say Rock was just showing Hogan respect earlier. A Walls attempt is broken up and Jericho gets crotched on top to set up a superplex for Rock’s first real offense.

Some of Rock’s usual stuff gets a few near falls but there goes the referee. Rock grabs the Sharpshooter but here’s Angle for the interference. Not that it matters as Rock kicks out of the Angle Slam, Edge comes out to take care of Angle, and the Rock Bottom ends Jericho as a match finally breaks seven minutes.

Rating: C. The time and talent in the ring helped carry this but it felt like a way to get to the interference which likely sets up a tag match next week. Rock is in a weird place where he’s so much better than anyone else that it’s hard to imagine someone giving him a real challenge. That HHH feud just crippled Jericho as he feels like a glorified midcarder instead of a guy who was World Champion a month again.

Overall Rating: D. Put very simply, there’s too much here. This could have been spread out over two weeks if not more, including too many turns and splits for a single show. I really don’t get why wrestling companies feel the need to do this. It’s not like there’s a big season finale coming up. Just let these already established characters (keep in mind that they weren’t anything new but rather just exclusive to one show or the other) act as they normally would instead of changing so suddenly. It doesn’t feel right and makes for an overly packed show.

On top of that, you need some more wrestling. Like I mentioned multiple times, until the main event, nothing broke three and a half minutes. There really isn’t a defense for something like that happening on a show with this much talent. Just Rock vs. Jericho alone could have eaten up twelve to fifteen minutes and you could have gut out something like Maven vs. Holly, which basically existed to say “hey, we’re here too”. Things will likely get better going forward but this was a big mess, somehow being just as bad as Raw.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Ring of Honor
Date: August 31, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 850
Commentators: Matt Taven, Kevin Kelly

This is another show that’s only kind of related to the main stories but there’s a chance that we might get some new stuff this week. If nothing else there is a title match this week as the Addiction defends the Tag Team Titles against the Young Bucks. Last week’s stand alone show was good so hopefully they can continue that trend here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. War Machine

Grudge match between two big teams. Kelly finally explains the story as Ray Rowe trained Taylor but Taylor turned on him and decided he was ready to be part of the better team. That’s a story that is going to work every single time and it’s fine here. Thankfully they don’t even bother wrestling here as it’s a huge brawl with Hanson dives onto Taylor, only to have Lee land on his feet to counter a monkey flip. The brawl heads outside with Lee and Hanson both being sent into barricades. War Machine starts getting the better of it with Rowe slamming Hanson onto Lee for a good looking crash.

Back in and Taylor slugs it out with Hanson, only to have Lee come over to really take over for the first time. We take a break and come back with Hanson on offense, only to get caught in something like a double chokeslam. A blind tag brings in Rowe and a springboard clothesline into a German suplex gets two on Lee. Rowe gets caught in an AA into a Jackhammer (that was SWEET) for two with Hanson making the save. Lee somehow kicks out of a sitout powerbomb and a suplex into a sitout powerbomb puts Hanson away at 11:28.

Rating: B. This was the PERFECT way to book this match and I liked it more than I was expecting to. There was no reason to waste time with the regular tag stuff so they just had two teams beat the heck out of each other with one big power move after another. Sometimes you need to switch up the booking and go with what makes sense and that’s exactly what we got here.

David Starr vs. Cheeseburger vs. Joey Daddiego vs. Tim Hughes

Bob Evans is on commentary and here’s BJ Whitmer to sit in on commentary. The four guys in the ring do nothing interesting as we hear about BJ going around the world and eating a positive cookie. Starr dives onto Hughes and Evans and Daddiego throws Cheeseburger onto them as well. Hughes takes forever to give Cheeseburger a side slam as Whitmer keeps saying it’s almost time.

The lights go out and we’re told that the new Purple Haze is coming. Back in the ring and……PUNISHER MARTINEZ IS BACK! House is cleaned for the no contest at 4:12 though we didn’t see enough to rate. To be fair it was just background noise so Whitmer could bring out Martinez. I’m really happy with this guy being back but PLEASE don’t let this be about Kevin Sullivan.

The Young Bucks promises a superkick party and kick the camera down.

Dalton Castle/The Boys vs. Cabinet

Coleman throws the Boys around so it’s off to Castle for a chest thrust-off. Dalton sends him outside and then launches the Boys over the top onto the Cabinet, hopefully breaking some of the doors and handle off the thing so it goes away for a long time. Back from a break with Boy #1 (the announcers’ words) getting triple teamed. King snaps #1’s throat across the top and it’s time for some twin magic, despite the Boys having different hair styles. The hot tag brings in Castle and of course everything breaks down. King kicks a lot and superplexes #2 to set up a guillotine legdrop/frog splash combo for the pin at 9:28.

Rating: D. The Cabinet couldn’t be less interesting if their lives depended on it. They don’t even have characters for the most part and it’s just a single idea that is tied into pop culture. You would expect that from WWE instead of a “smarter” company like Ring of Honor. The wrestling was watchable enough but I have no reason to care about the Cabinet and the live fans didn’t seem impressed either.

Adam Cole is sick of Kyle O’Reilly and knows he’s better because of the two World Title reigns.

Tag Team Titles: Addiction vs. Young Bucks

Veda Scott is on commentary. Addiction is defending and wait for the Bucks in the aisle. Therefore, since the Bucks are the best team ever, they sneak up on the Addiction, apparently just knowing the champs would be doing that. Daniels gets dropkicked in the face as we’re waiting on the opening bell. Some tables are set up at ringside and it’s Kazarian clotheslining the Bucks down to get a breather. A ladder is brought in as Veda suggests she could represent Taven on commentary if he gets even more injured.

Back from a break and I guess the bell rang while we were gone. Daniels breaks up More Bang For Your Buck by sending Nick off the top and through a table, followed by Matt slingshotting into a cutter for a near fall. Veda talks about the Bucks never beating the Addiction and that horrible voice makes it clear why she’s rarely allowed to talk.

Daniels and Kazarian hit back to back to back to back Lionsaults and spinning legdrops for no cover as the heel champions wrestle like heels and the “heels” wrestle like the faces they really are. Matt finally flips off the top into a cutter of his own as the Bucks take over again. Nick’s Swanton hits knees (feet but close enough) but Matt springboards into a DDT onto the apron to knock Kazarian silly. Hey, did you know that’s the hardest part of the ring?

Daniels comes right back with a suicide dive but Angel’s Wings is broken up with, you guessed it, a superkick. Cue Kamaitachi for a distraction but the Motor City Machine Guns come out (WAY too fast) for the save, only to have Nick dive onto the Guns. In the melee, Sabin accidentally hits Matt with the chair to give Daniels the pin at 9:15.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of either team but it’s not like the tag division exactly has a lot of options at the moment anyway. The match was a bit more reined in than most Bucks match and I’m glad that they’re not going with the Bullet Club holding all of the titles at once, at least not so soon. I still have no idea why I’m supposed to care about Kamaitachi other than he has something to do with New Japan and they’re amazing or something.

Kevin Kelly calls this a travesty after talking about how the Bucks break the rules all the time. I’m not even going to bother complaining about it this time as you’ve heard it before.

Overall Rating: C+. I liked the opener and the booking of the main event was a nice plus so we can kind of overlook the boring Cabinet match. It also helps that the expectations are a bit lower because it’s not a regular show with major storyline development, leaving us with just the wrestling to carry things. Good enough show here as ROH is getting a lot more steady, which is a really important step.

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Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

The countdown to Bound For Glory 2016 continues as we have five more weeks before the biggest show of the year. Things have changed a bit coming out of last week as Drew Galloway has turned heel by attacking Aron Rex, likely setting up Rex’s first feud and a Bound For Glory match. Let’s get to it.

We open with Reby (who looks like Matt from behind) and the Hardys playing the piano and singing the Obsolete song. Even Senor Benjamin, Vanguard One and Maxill get in on the sing a long. Maxill’s piano playing give Matt a pre-mo-nition that the battle with Decay will take place here at the Hardy Compound instead of at the Zone of Impact. Matt is worried but Reby has a sword to protect herself and Maxill.

In the arena (and out of that insanity), Mike Bennett and Maria are here for a chat. Mike is here to complete his kingdom of miracles by winning the World Title tonight. He’s so successful because he surrounds himself with people like Maria and Moose, who Mike would like to come down to settle things. Instead here’s Lashley to say he doesn’t have to fake confidence like Bennett does.

Lashley is so confident that he’s willing to let tonight’s title match be No DQ. Bennett thinks Lashley is jealous of Moose and doesn’t believe that they went to dinner last week. The champ says they did go to dinner (Are we on a Disney sitcom?) and maybe Lashley smartened him up a bit. Moose comes out to say he’s let his actions do the talking and tonight he’ll determine who wins the title. Bennett takes that as Moose saying he’ll win but Moose says not so fast before leaving.

Matt Hardy vs. Crazzy Steve

They look at each other to start because both of them are a bit insane. Steve dropkicks the knee out and we hit the chinlock. The fight goes outside with the fans telling Matt to DELETE him. So they want Steve to join Matt’s team? Jeff hits Steve with a boot a few times and the Twist of Fate puts Steve away at 4:20.

Rating: D. I’m very bored with the Hardys anytime they’re just having matches. The gimmick is so insane that it’s entertaining at times and the second Final Deletion (you know that’s coming) should be fun but the actual wrestling is just Matt and Jeff looking old and boring. Steve continues to be more of a character than good but he works well with Abyss so that’s a step up.

Post match Steve gets the mic and says Decay is at the Hardy Compound and Maxill is now Rosemary’s baby.

The X-Division guys try to explain the X-Division and basically say it’s about being fearless. So we can expect Nikki Bella showing up when?

After a break, Matt calls Reby (with his phone actually saying Broken Matt Hardy) but she doesn’t answer. The camera in the Hardy Compound shows Rosemary looking at Maxill.

X-Division Title: Trevor Lee vs. DJZ vs. Andrew Everett vs. Mandrews vs. Braxton Sutter vs. Rockstar Spud

The title is vacant coming in and this is a gauntlet match, meaning people are added at fixed intervals but you can pull the title down at any time. Trevor Lee and DJZ start things off and they slug it out for a bit before pulling each other down. Andrew Everett is in third and the time intervals seem to be two and a half minutes. DJZ gets double teamed so the Helms Dynasty (minus Helms showing up lately) goes up at the same time.

A knee to DJZ’s head knocks him silly but here’s Mandrews to break up the title grab attempt. Mandrews gets thrown off the top though and we take a break. Back with a replay package of what we saw before the commercial instead of what we missed. Braxton Sutter entered during the break and here’s Rockstar Spud to complete the field but it’s still too early to get the title with Sutter making the save.

We hit the big streak of dives before people get back in, only to be thrown out or knocked down seconds later. There’s nothing to talk about here as it’s just one move or spot after another with nothing in between. Spud uses a chair to knock Sutter off the cables but it’s the Helms Dynasty going up and grabbing the title at at the same time. No one comes down with it though so DJZ springboards in and pulls the title down to win at 16:23.

Rating: C+. I’m sure this is the revitalization that the X-Division has been needing for years now and that this will be different than the other half dozen times they’ve promised it’s not going to be left by the wayside again. The same problems they always have still apply here: no characters, no storylines other than they all want the title and get thrown together into one match and nothing we haven’t seen before. Fix some of those things and give us an actual story and the division might go somewhere.

Ethan Carter III is talking about his match last week when Eli Drake comes up to challenge him to a match tonight.

Drew Galloway promises an explanation.

We look at Allie accidentally winning the Knockouts Title last week.

Here’s Drew Galloway to explain his actions from last week. Drew says you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. He’s been asking why he stood up for TNA when he first arrived and he’s not sure. When he won the World Title, the celebration went on for a week. Then Ethan Carter http://ambienbuy.net screwed him over three straight times but the fans cheered for him. Then Aron Rex showed up and said the same things he said in his debut but the fans were cheering for him anyway.

Rex wants to be the next Drew Galloway so Drew has to teach him a few things. This brings out Billy Corgan to say Drew’s actions should earn him a suspension without pay but a little bird told him not to do it. Drew accuses Corgan of becoming the establishment and doing everything Dixie Carter tells him. Actually it was Rex who kept Drew from being suspended and here he is for the brawl but security quickly breaks it up. This was good stuff and Rex looked like a star who was on Drew’s level.

Reby answers the phone and Matt says the match tonight was just a setup. She and Maxill will go to the safe room but Vanguard One tells Matt that Rosemary is already there.

Ethan Carter III vs. Eli Drake

Drake is nice enough to spell his name out before they head to the floor with Ethan in control. Back in and Drake takes over with your standard heel offense (I love listening to him talk but his wrestling isn’t great) and escapes the TK3 attempt. A chinlock doesn’t go very far and the second TK3 attempt connects just fine. The 1%er is enough for the pin on Drake at 6:00.

Rating: D+. Not much to this one but there’s nothing wrong with that. This was a main eventer beating a midcarder who got in some offense before losing. That’s a simple booking plan and it works just fine with the big name getting a win over someone with credibility and the midcarder not losing any status because he was fighting a bigger star.

Allie is very excited about her title win and doesn’t mind Maria making her plan her own celebration.

Reby tells Matt to get back here now. Senor Benjamin is holding Maxill.

DJZ celebrates his title win and says he’s ready to defend it.

Here’s Allie for her title celebration. Before she can get anywhere, here are Maria and Sienna to interrupt. Maria sends Sienna to the back and yells at Allie for thinking this is actually about her. Allie screws everything up and couldn’t even get the right color balloons here. This celebration is for Allie’s opponent and Allie needs to lay down right now.

Knockouts Title: Maria Kanellis vs. Allie

Allie lays down and Maria is the new champion in three seconds.

Allie has to fight back tears as she announces Maria as the new champion.

Bennett tries to talk Moose into doing the right thing and hands him a pipe. Moose thinks about it.

Rosemary torments Reby but Senor Benjamin gets Maxill out. Reby tells Benjamin to prepare the field for battle.

TNA World Title: Mike Bennett vs. Lashley

Lashley is defending and this is no DQ. The champ leapfrogs Bennett and does the delayed vertical suplex but here’s Moose to offer a distraction as we take a break. Back with Bennett in control and kicking Lashley in the face. Maria hits Lashley in the head with the cast and the Knockouts Title but Lashley shrugs it off and suplexes Bennett for a breather. A torture rack (good move for Lashley) has Mike in trouble and a spinebuster makes it even worse. Maria breaks up the spear but Moose won’t give Mike the pipe. The distraction allows the spear to connect to retain the title at 10:59.

Rating: C-. This was much more storyline development than an important match, which shouldn’t be the case for a World Title match. Moose turning on Bennett this soon could be interesting but it’s not like they’ve really been a unit long enough to give this much of an impact. Bennett never felt like a threat to the title here and that’s not a good sign.

Post match Bennett yells at Moose and calls him a failed football player. Bennett slaps him in the face so Moose clotheslines Mike’s head off to end the show.

Next week: Decay goes to Cameron. That’s right: FINAL DELETION II!

Overall Rating: D+. I had forgotten how annoying it was to have the show cut back to the Hardy shenanigans every few minutes. It’s not so much the story that gets annoying (though it can) but more the fact that they’ll have something like eight segments (some very short) in two hours. You could stretch this stuff out for weeks but instead we see every few minutes and it’s really easy to get burned out.

The rest of the show was just kind of there. The X-Division Title match was your standard showcase that isn’t likely to lead anywhere, the main event was fine and…..what else really happened here? Rex and Galloway brawled, we had a nothing match between Drake and Carter (it was fine enough) and we have Maria vs. Gail set up in a match that we’ve known was coming for months. I’m not sure why we’re getting it but after all the time they’ve put into it they have to give it to us. This show wasn’t terrible but it got tiresome by the end, mainly due to the constant Hardy segments wearing me down.

Results

Matt Hardy b. Crazzy Steve – Twist of Fate

DJZ b. Mandrews, Rockstar Spud, Trevor Lee, Andrew Everett and Braxton Sutter – DJZ pulled down the title

Ethan Carter III b. Eli Drake – 1%er

Maria Kanellis b. Allie – Allie laid down

Lashley b. Mike Bennett – Spear

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ECW on TNN
Date: September 1, 2000
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

After last week, I’m really not sure what to expect from this show. This promotion goes from a fun wrestling show to some insane clip show with a bunch of wrestling that wasn’t very good to set up an angle that we’ve seen before. The next pay per view is in just over a month and I have no idea we’re going to see on the way there. Let’s get to it.

We see the end of Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck advancing to the finals of the Tag Team Title tournament.

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel are in the ring and the big arena does actually look cool. Joel does his rhyme about various escapades in each of the boroughs before Steve Corino comes out, flanked by Billy Corgan playing New York, New York on his guitar. I’m not sure how old school the Smashing Pumpkins were in 2000 but it’s better than Limp Bizkit.

Corino is the new #1 contender (What about Jerry?) and refuses to apologize for cheating to pin New Jack, Dusty Rhodes and Tommy Dreamer. He’s not going to apologize either when he pins Justin Credible. Cue Lou E. Dangerously and WHEN DID HE BECOME JUSTIN’S MANAGER? He’s not Justin’s manager? Well he certainly acts like him and that doesn’t help because this company makes no sense half the time with all the people running around doing random promos to advance the overall angles.

Lou yells about wanting to beat Corgan up and wants the title shot at Anarchy Rulz. A fight is about to break out when Justin Credible “sneaks” (read as Corino clearly looks over his shoulder to see him coming in) in and canes Corino. Corgan actually chokes Justin with the cane until Lou hits him in the back of the head with the phone. Lou says that’s a message from the Network. Ok so he works for the Network and not Justin? Really I’m not sure at this point and I don’t particularly care either.

Tag Team Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy

The winners get Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer. A table is brought in less than ten seconds in but Sandman cleans house with the cane. Rhino shrugs them off and Gores Sandman through the table for two, followed by the piledriver to advance Credible and Rhino in less than two minutes. Did Willy stop for a taco?

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Simon and Swinger vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring

Roadkill starts fast with a powerslam on Simon but CW pulls Doring to the floor because almost every heel is part of a stable. A double Downward Spiral gets two on Doring but he grabs a double Bareback (Those names get annoying.) and makes the hot tag. Everything breaks down and Roadkill is thrown through a table, only to have Anderson hit Simon by mistake. Not that it matters as the Problem Solver puts Doring away and send Simon and Swinger to the finals.

Rating: D+. As much of a mess as most of ECW was at the end, they did have a good tag division going. Unfortunately we barely saw most of it as the matches were either clipped or had nothing on the line because of the ridiculous four month waiting period. Four weeks is a long time to not have champions but from April to September is unthinkable.

Tag Team Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Rhino/Justin Credible

Joined in progress with separate brawls in the crowd. They’re nice enough to come back to the ring with Jerry dropping Justin but having to spank Francine instead of going for the pin. The Gore takes Dreamer out and there’s a piledriver through the table. Little Spike Dudley comes in with an Acid Drop to Rhino and the cradle piledriver puts Justin away to send Dreamer/Lynn to the finals.

Rating: D. As usual, WAY too much going on to keep track of anything here and that gets annoying in a hurry. Why do so many matches have to go into the crowd in a wild brawl or have so many people interfering? Would a straight match every now and then, especially when we’re coming up on a title shot, be too much to ask for?

Tag Team Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Jerry Lynn vs. Simon and Swinger vs. Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

The titles are vacant coming in and this is elimination rules. The Sinister Minister is the only manager present and Dreamer is in a neck brace. Tajiri, Lynn and Simon start things off with Simon sitting back while the other two start fast. Everyone tags out and the new three stare at each other for a bit.

Swinger stops to pose and gets put down by the physique-phobic Dreamer and Whipwreck. Everyone fights to the floor (of course) and Dreamer actually kicks Tajiri for a change of pace. Lynn takes Simon back inside for a bow and arrow hold. All six get inside again and it’s time for double Tarantulas with Lynn and Mikey being stretched.

They’re fine enough for stereo tornado DDT’s for stereo two’s on Simon and Swinger. Cue CW Anderson to hit Dreamer with something made of metal, setting up the Problem Solver for the elimination. The locker room comes out to watch as Tajiri mists Simon, setting up a Whippersnapper for the pin and the titles.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of match that I normally don’t care for but at least it gives us something. Tajiri and Whipwreck are still a new team but at least they’re a team instead of two people just thrown together for the sake of being thrown together. They’re fine as the new champions, especially since they’ll defend the titles against a strong tag division.

Everyone celebrates with the new champions.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s like they were trying to show a tournament in one night but didn’t have enough time. It was kind of confusing when they went from one round to the other and some brackets would have helped a lot. The finals being shown in full was the right move though and while I would have gone with Simon and Swinger, at least the titles aren’t vacant like they’ve been since a few weeks after Wrestlemania.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,400
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

The big story continues to be the upcoming Tag Team Title tournament which is taking place a week from this show. You would think they could schedule it sooner but the belts have already been vacant for four months so it’s not like it really makes much of a difference at this point. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Joel and Joey are doing their thing when we cut to Rhino, who grabs Francine by the hair to show us her broken nose. Justin Credible gets in his face so Rhino says he’d be champion if he had the chance. Injuries are promised and we get no explanation for who hurt Francine, though it’s treated like something we’re supposed to know.

Jerry Lynn vs. Bilvis Wesley

Lynn is suddenly #1 contender. Actually hang on a second as the referee grabs the mic. Apparently he’s not happy with Lynn for running into him every single time he referees Jerry’s matches. There’s a bounty on Jerry so the referee might want to claim it. The referee gets dropped so here’s Rhino to Gore Jerry Lynn through a table and then leave. Jerry fights off Tom Marquez before the cradle piledriver knocks Bilvis silly. The original referee gets up though and calls a DQ for Jerry hitting him again.

The Prodigette tries to interfere and gets a piledriver of her own. I have no idea what the point of any of this was.

Tajiri vs. Psicosis

This is from Hardcore TV for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. They’re quickly on the mat with Tajiri putting on a Brock Lock but getting flipped into a cover for two. The match is clipped (Why is this happening?) to a fast sequence and a bunch of one counts. Another clip takes us to a sweet pinfall reversal sequence and a third takes us to Psicosis crashing out to the floor thanks to a missed dive.

Another clip means we see Psicosis diving over the top to take Tajiri out again. Clipped, yet again, to a baseball slide into Psicosis’ face as he’s caught in the Tree of Woe. Tajiri hits a Stunner for two and….well you know what happens by this point. Clipped again to a Psicosis getting two off a guillotine legdrop, setting up some kicks to give Tajiri the pin. WAY too much clipping here for it to be rated but what we saw was fun.

Tajiri is in Sinister Minister’s clothes as Minister talks about crossing a line. Mikey Whipwreck comes in with balloons on his hands and sounding like Chris Farley. This show makes my head hurt very badly. Thankfully Tajiri and the Minister are confused as well.

More Hardcore TV clips of Roadkill/Danny Doring/Tommy Dreamer vs. CW Anderson/Simon and Swinger. There’s more clipping here but less action as the match was cut off for a posedown, including Roadkill doing Hogan’s poses. A wild brawl broke out and the Buggy Bang puts Swinger away.

Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Kid Kash/Rob Van Dam

Apparently Francine’s nose was broken last night at a house show. Well that’s more of an explanation than I was expecting. Kash and Credible start things off and a headscissors sends the champ off to a tag to Rhino. That means it’s time for Kash’s first hurricanrana which staggers Rhino far more than it should. Rob gets the tag and fires off some kicks before Kash has to save him from a gorilla press.

Back to back dives to the floor take the villains out again and everyone is down. Justin gets in his one non-finishing move, the superkick, to take over on Kash before handing it off to Rhino to do the work. Kash finally moonsaults onto Justin to put them both down and slides over for the tag to Van Dam. That means it’s time for a chair as everything breaks down, only to have Rhino clean house again.

Van Dam kicks Rhino in the face and drops Kash into a legdrop for two. A low blow breaks up Justin’s superplex on Kash and sets up a HORRIBLY botched super hurricanrana as Justin is dropped onto his head. The Five Star gets no cover as Rob goes up again, only to get caned by Justin. The Moneymaker plants Justin and there goes the referee. Rhino piledrives Kash through a table and of course here’s Sandman because this feud just won’t end. Sandman canes Rhino a few times until Justin canes Sandman from behind. Now it’s Steve Corino coming in to superkick Rhino, setting up the Van Terminator for the pin.

Rating: D. So the big deal is that Van Dam finally pinned Rhino and it only took four people to do it. If this is the best thing ECW can come up with, then they’re in more trouble than I was thinking coming in. It’s also going to be even harder to care about Van Dam vs. Rhino on pay per view as we’ve seen it twice on free TV already but that doesn’t seem to matter to the company.

Overall Rating: D-. I’m really not sure what this show was supposed to be. We had a weird angle at the beginning, two clipped matches from another TV show and a long main event with an angle that doesn’t really mean much. We’ve got about six weeks before Anarchy Rulz and I’m really not sure what I’m supposed to be excited about. Jerry Lynn getting a World Title shot in his home state? That’s the best they’ve got? Is there any reason we’re not getting Rob Van Dam as World Champion already? Bad show this week as they’re getting more bizarre than better.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 18, 2000
Location: War Memorial, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re coming up on the Tag Team Title tournament and it’s actually making for an interesting story. Almost everyone is involved in the tournament, setting up a bunch of mini feuds as we head into the big night. On top of that the Network seems to have split up, which means we’re ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. Let’s get to it.

We see Simon and Swinger helping CW Anderson beat Tommy Dreamer on Hardcore TV, setting up Danny Doring and Roadkill to make the save. The heels beat them down though and planted Jazz with a Problem Solver.

Rob Van Dam says he’s fighting Rhino tonight for the first time since he broke his ankle (no) and it’s time for a beating.

Opening sequence.

Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cyrus as his guest. Cyrus rants about Steve Corino turning his back on the Network and here are Corino and Anton to interrupt. Corino doesn’t get to say anything as Cyrus says Corino was just an opening match comedy act and a mark for the business.

Then Corino got over with the people (I know ECW isn’t your normal wrestling promotion but I can’t stand it when that kind of lingo is used on TV.) and thought it was all because of the blood he’s shed. Corino swears a bit as Gertner talks about sperm. This sets up a match between Corino/Anton vs. Cyrus/Lou E. And never mind as Anton turns on Corino for a SWERVE that everyone could see coming because they’re not stupid.

FBI vs. Psicosis/Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck

Tony and Mikey start things off and this is already starting to look like another wrestling show. It’s already off to Guido for an inverted Fujiwara armbar (Would that hurt?) as the heels (who seem to be popular) take over. The tag brings in Psicosis to face Big Sal, who is immediately taken down because he’s a big fat tub of goo.

Some kicks to the head knock him silly and a bunch of dives take down the Italians. Back in and some kicks to the head get two on Tony but he comes right back with a DDT. Guido scores with a clothesline but eats a Whippersnapper as this match is dying. Everything breaks down and Tajiri mists Psicosis by mistake. Guido hits a quick Kiss of Death for the pin on Tajiri.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was really dull. I get that it’s designed to set up something later on but the FBI isn’t interesting as they’re no longer comedy instead of just kind of there. That’s a major problem around here: people who don’t have a purpose and are only around for the sake of being around.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash

Justin is defending in a rematch from last week. Kash gets a quick two off a spinning sunset flip to send Justin outside for an early breather. That means a lot of swearing and censoring of something that probably isn’t worthy of swearing and censoring. Justin throws a chair at Kash who sits down in the middle of the ring. A double springboard hurricanrana sends Justin outside again, setting up a huge dive off the top. Standard Kid Kash so far.

Back in and a good looking superkick (That’s our Justin!) drops Kash. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Joel asks if Joey is gay for not wanting to sleep with Francine. Kash DDT’s the champ on the chair for two and there’s the ref bump. Before I can say “get Rhino out here so Van Dam can make the save”, Rhino comes out for the beatdown on Kash and Van Dam makes the save.

That’s Incredible is broken up and Kash hits the Moneymaker but the referee is still down and likely in a coma at this point. There’s a Gore for Kash so here’s Rob for the second save, only to have Justin kick out at a very close two. Francine blasts Kash with the kendo stick and a super That’s Incredible retains the title.

Rating: D+. Who thought this needed a rematch? I’m really not a fan of either guy and all the overbooking didn’t help things. At least I can finally keep track of who wants to fight who and why they want to do it but that doesn’t mean the wrestling is anything worth seeing. The ending never being in doubt didn’t help either.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam

Rhino is defending and jumps Van Dam during his long entrance. They’re quickly in the crowd with Rhino in control as Bill Alfonso won’t stop with the stupid whistle. The Gore against the barricade makes things even worse for Van Dam as this is one sided so far. They get inside for the first time with a wicked powerbomb planting Van Dam again for no cover.

Rob FINALLY scores with a stepover kick and both guys are down. Van Dam skateboards a chair into Rhino’s face and a middle rope moonsault gets two. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Justin to break up the cover and throw the match out because you knew this wasn’t going to end clean.

Rating: C-. Again, WHY IS THIS NOT ON PAY PER VIEW??? This should be a major showdown but instead of drawing money, we’ve seen it twice in a row for the sake of popping a rating (by ECW standards of course) and this is what we’re stuck with as a result. Oh and more Justin because we haven’t seen enough of him lately.

Kid Kash fails at a save attempt so Sandman makes the real one to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I stand by my stance that Justin Credible is just crippling this show every single week. What in the world is supposed to be interesting about him? Someone taking the title off of him? That’s fine in theory, but don’t you need someone to be interesting before beating them matters? Justin continues to be the worst part of the show and unfortunately he’s also one of the focal points. No wonder I’m so sick of this show.

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 11, 2000
Location: Huntington Civic Center, Huntington, West Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to wrapping this show up and it’s back to the country after a week down in Houston. The big story coming out of last week is an actual match being announced for the Tag Team Title tournament with Sandman/Chilly Willy vs. Rhino/Justin Credible. Of course no date has been announced for that match but I doubt ECW knows either. Let’s get to it.

Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring to insult the West Virginia fans, who pelt the ring with garbage as a result. This is a ripoff of Paul Heyman’s old Danger Zone segment. After a quick jump to the announcers for an intro, Lou brings out Steve Corino and Scotty Anton. Lou rants about the Tag Team Title tournament before Corino says he doesn’t give a CENSORED what the Network feels.

They helped win the Network its titles and have been protecting the Network since day one. Cue Justin, who Steve says would be nothing without the two of them. Corino and Credible both claim credit for Justin’s title reign lasting before Steve goes nuclear by saying Justin has a lame catchphrase. Rhino comes out and Gores Anton, leaving Corino to get double teamed. Security breaks it up. So is the Network done now? I’d be ok with that.

Opening sequence.

Corino and Anton are leaving when Lou comes up and asks what Cyrus will think. Steve doesn’t care and they leave with Jack Victory.

Justin Credible and Kid Kash get in an argument, setting up a title match for later tonight.

Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Tom Marquez/Bilvis Wesley

Marquez stupidly thinks he can slam Roadkill to start, which pretty much sums up the whole match. A Vader Bomb elbow sets up a Hart Attack as Joey and Joel make Elvis jokes. We get a quick chase around the ring until Marquez catches Doring with a spinwheel kick. Wesley puts on a Muta Lock of all things and Doring stays in trouble thanks to some double teaming.

Doring finally hits a Stroke (the G Spot Sweet because we’re in ECW) and the hot tag brings in Roadkill. You really can hear a pop when Roadkill comes in and that needs to be noticed. I know he’s not your typical ECW guy but the fans dig him and that’s important. Everything breaks down and the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam/guillotine legdrop) ends Marquez.

Rating: C+. This is the kind of thing you don’t get enough of around here: a basic tag match with the bigger team going over but only after taking a beating. It’s nothing great or anything but it was wrestling instead of brawling and that really needs to happen more often. Roadkill and Doring are a good act and hopefully they go somewhere in the tournament.

Sinister Minister tries to teach Tajiri about temptation with a good looking woman. She winds up getting mist in the face and you can figure out the joke yourself. You could see her face before the mist but as soon as it hits, her face is a mosaic. Ok then.

Joey is aghast.

CW Anderson gives Simon and Swinger a pep talk.

We see CW Anderson laying out Jazz and insulting women’s wrestling. Tommy Dreamer made the save.

Tajiri vs. EZ Money

They hit the mat for some very fast covers (minus near falls) and it’s a standoff for some applause. When did this become a wrestling show? Money’s friend Chris Hamrick breaks up the Tarantula and a standing moonsault gets two on Tajiri. Another distraction lets Money’s other friend Julio Fantastico (Matt Tastic’s American cousin?) sneak in for a double wheelbarrow suplex. It’s time for a chair but Tajiri reverses a powerbomb into a tornado DDT. The Buzzsaw Kick is enough to put Money away.

Rating: C. Another simple wrestling match here with the bigger name overcoming the heel stable (there are WAY too many of those running around). It’s weird seeing Money lose so often when he was on a big winning streak in the dying days of WCW. He wasn’t anything great but there was something there.

The trio goes after Tajiri but he beats up all three losers without much effort. Cue the FBI (See what I mean about the heel stables?) for the real beatdown but Mikey Whipwreck comes out with a flaming 2×4 for the save.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash

Kash is challenging and I’ll set his over/under on hurricanranas at five. It’s a pose off to start as Gertner makes sex jokes about Francine. They fight over a hammerlock until Kash gets in a clothesline to put the champ outside. A springboard dive (now that’s more like it Kash) takes Justin down again and another dive, which we can’t see, knocks Justin into the crowd.

Back in and Justin scores with a superkick but that’s enough wrestling so let’s have a chair. Kash is sent face first into said chair and it’s time for Justin to talk some trash on the mic. For the life of me I still don’t get the appeal of this guy. The champ crotches himself on the post as the announcers try to figure out how they can like Corino now that he turned on the Network.

Francine’s interference fails as she hits Justin with a metal sheet by mistake and Kash gets in his first hurricanrana. Francine tries to interfere again (giving us the required g-string shot)….and here’s Rhino to Gore Kash for the DQ/no contest since DQ’s aren’t a thing around here most of the time.

Rating: D+. Justin isn’t interesting and I’m running out of ways to say that. He’s a catchphrase, a Tombstone and weapon shots. Oh and an occasional superkick. I have no idea why he had the title as long as he did (sixth longest reign with the original title) and I have no idea what Heyman saw in him but he’s been stale for a long time.

Rob Van Dam (Kash’s partner in the tournament) makes the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I…..liked this? Somehow I think I did and it’s for a few very simple reasons. This show was focused on wrestling with only the main event featuring weapons actually being used. On top of that there’s the big story of the Tag Team Title tournament coming up to really tie the show together. It’s almost like this was a well put together show and that’s a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: August 4, 2000
Location: Astro Arena Pavilion, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end here with just ten episodes left in the series. Unfortunately things were picking up a little bit around this point as some of the stories FINALLY started moving forward. There are still about two months to go before Anarchy Rulz so we’re still weeks away from setting up the show’s card. Let’s get to it.

We open with the last thirty seconds of Rhino Goring Nova to retain the TV Title. Ok then.

Opening sequence.

After Joel talks about being with a stripper named Alexis in his Lexus here in Houston, Texas, here’s Cyrus to do the same thing these two always do. Cyrus brings up the attack at Heat Wave which was an assault because Cyrus isn’t a wrestler. Tonight though, he has a wrestling license and is ready to fight Gertner one on one. This brings out Spike Dudley in a suit jacket but Cyrus isn’t impressed. The announcers leave as Spike says Heyman isn’t here tonight because he’s busy in Los Angeles. Therefore, Spike is the booker tonight and he has an idea. Here’s our opening match.

Cyrus vs. Sandman

A single cane shot brings in Rhino and yeah this isn’t a match.

Justin Credible comes in and Tombstones Sandman, drawing Spike back in to take a beating of his own. Spike takes a piledriver off the apron and through a table, leaving Sandman to take a double beating. Chilly Willy comes out for the save and gives Cyrus a falcon arrow.

Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck

They trade chops in the corner to start with Mikey hammering away in the corner before slamming Guido’s head onto the mat. Mikey has to avoid Sal to send him into the post before getting two off a superplex. Another distraction lets Tony Mamaluke come in for a double Russian legsweep from the middle rope for two on Mikey. At least he can competently cheat. Mikey’s running DDT changes momentum again and there’s the Whippersnapper, only to have Sal distract the referee. Mamaluke drops a top rope leg to break up the cover and chairs Mikey in the head. The Kiss of Death puts Mikey away.

Rating: C. Not the worst here as Mikey is still very underrated despite being a Triple Crown Champion. It’s nice to see them actually doing something with Mikey after all these vignettes but the FBI are only so interesting. At least they’re letting the talented one do the wrestling instead of Sal and his freak show “abilities.”

Post match the FBI goes after Mikey, only to have Tajiri of all people come out for the save.

Earlier tonight, Kid Kash gave Rob Van Dam something close to a sweat. As in as close as you can get with hurricanrana after hurricanrana with an occasional dive thrown in.

This episode is dedicated to Gordon Solie. Nothing wrong with that.

Tajiri vs. Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn

Corino is sent to the floor early and we get a very fast near fall sequence from Corino and Lynn. A Tarantula has Lynn in even more trouble until Corino makes the save. Tajiri is sent outside for some double teaming from Victory and Corino, only to have Lynn dive onto both of them for the huge crash. Back in and Corino takes the mist, only to have Lynn cradle piledrive Tajiri for the elimination. Thanks to Victory washing his eyes out, Corino does Dusty Rhodes’ Bionic Elbow dance and gets two off a sitout powerbomb.

Jerry starts the one on one portion with a belly to back before a few rollups get a few near falls each. Corino gets crotched on the top but Lou E. Dangerously (He manages Corino right?) slips in the phone so Steve can knock Lynn silly for two. Cue Scotty Anton to snap Jerry’s neck across the top rope so Corino can hit the Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) for the pin.

Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world here as they let the wrestlers wrestle. That being said, I’m still not a fan of having the third man get eliminated in the first few minutes so they can do a singles match without doing a singles match. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost track of who is on who’s side in this huge stable war. You know, assuming ECW is considered a stable of course.

The beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer comes out and we’ve got a main event.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Scotty Anton

Well kind of as Victory beats on Jazz in the ring as Dreamer and Anton fight in the crowd. The people actually in the match come back to ringside with Dreamer beating on Anton until Scotty sends him into a ladder. Why is there a ladder there? Not important of course. Dreamer is busted open but is still able to send Anton into the ladder in the corner.

A superplex off the ladder (which was laid over the middle rope so that didn’t add much) drops Anton and it’s time to bridge the ladder over two chairs. Naturally it’s Dreamer being suplexed onto the ladder, which is horribly bent. The Clapper goes on so Jazz chairs Anton in the head. Dreamer drops an elbow onto a chair onto Anton’s face for the pin.

Rating: D+. Remember all those times I’ve told you that Scotty Anton isn’t very good and has no business being on these shows? That’s still the case, as this really wasn’t much to see. Dreamer doing tremendous harm to his body is entertaining enough but how many times can I see it before it loses its interest?

Cyrus makes Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy for the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament. Justin says no way but Rhino promises to make him do it. Francine drags him away and Rhino rants a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Some stuff happened, the wrestling wasn’t great, the angles didn’t really change and we have a single match announced for next week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill ECW on TNN and that’s not the most interesting show in the world. This could have been much worse but the same problems are still here: nothing happens. When is the last time you remember something interesting happening on this show? I can’t remember it and that’s a big reason why this show didn’t last long.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6