In Your House #9: International Incident
Date: July 21, 1996
Location: General Motors Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Attendance: 14,804
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

The People’s Posse originally had the Ultimate Warrior teaming up with Johnson and Michaels, but Warrior bailed on the company again for asking for too much time off. Warrior claimed he was leaving due to not getting money he was owed and Vince McMahon claiming that he didn’t buy Warrior’s excuse of grieving over his father’s death. Either way, we get Sid tonight which might actually be the better option. Let’s get to it.

Earlier tonight on the Free For All, Cornette swung the tennis racket at Jose Lothario but got punched in the face for his efforts. Vader and Shawn came in to prevent any further violence. The main catch for the

Smoking Gunns vs. Bodydonnas

The Gunns are champions and have Sunny with them but this is non-title. The Bodydonnas have turned face with a new manager named Cloudy (a man in woman’s clothing), but no one cares about them at all either way. Sunny, who looks great as a cowgirl, won’t let Vince hold the tag titles. The Gunns are sent to the floor to start before we get down to Bart vs. Zip. They trade chops with neither guy seeming all that interested in selling for the other. Zip takes him down with an armdrag into an armbar before bringing in Skip to crank on it as well.

Bart gets tired of having his arm pulled apart so he throws Skip down and brings in Billy to fire off some right hands. A nice headscissors puts Billy down and Skip spins out of a few hiptosses, only to be punched down for his efforts. Skip grabs another armbar as the match slows down all over again. Out of nowhere Sunny collapses but as Skip goes to check on her she slaps him in the face, allowing the Gunns to clothesline him down.

Back in and the Gunns take over with Bart whipping Skip HARD into the corner to take him down. Skip comes back with a quick clothesline and goes up top, only to dive into a sweet powerslam for two. With Skip draped throat first over the top and Bart holding his legs up, Billy tries to jump over his partner’s back to land on Skip’s back but can’t get up and over Bart. If you can’t do the spot, don’t try it.

Skip and Bart mistime something out of the corner and awkwardly stop in the middle of the ring. Bart goes up top but jumps into an atomic drop, allowing for the hot tag off to Zip. Billy trips Zip down but can’t get in place for the Sidewinder (side slam/guillotine legdrop combo), allowing Skip to hit a missile dropkick on Bart to give Zip the pin.

Rating: D. This was a horrible choice for an opening match with WAY too much time and the botches dragging the match down. On top of that, why in the world would you make this a non-title match? To set up a future rematch? Why in the world wouldn’t you do this on Raw and then have the title match here? Very dull match here.

Camp Cornette rants about the fight with Cornette and Lothario while guaranteeing a win later.

Mankind vs. Henry Godwinn

Mankind is one of the most bizarre characters in wrestling history. He debuted the night after Wrestlemania and immediately targeted the Undertaker, easily beating him down like no one else ever had before. Mankind lives in a boiler room, often sits on the mat and rocks back and forth and is known to pull out his hair. He also wears a leather mask that covers half of his face and is missing part of an ear. Henry is substituting for Jake Roberts who didn’t show up for the show.

Mankind jumps Godwinn from behind to start but Henry is more than comfortable in a slugout. He punches Mankind in the face a few times and powerslams him down for two. Mankind pounds him down with shots to the back as Lawler makes jokes about Roberts’ substance abuse issues. Henry sweeps Mankind’s legs out and hits some HARD shots to the face, only to have Mankind choke him for a breather.

A running knee to Henry’s face has him in even more trouble so Mankind goes to the floor and pulls back the mats. Henry gets taken down by a swinging neckbreaker onto the concrete. Back in and Mankind misses a charge into the corner but he easily sends Henry out to the floor. Godwinn comes right back by slamming Mankind from the apron to the concrete but the Slop Drop is countered with into Mankind’s Mandible Claw for the win.

Rating: D+. Nothing great here but it was a nice brawl while it lasted. Henry was stuck in a stupid gimmick but he could throw some great right hands and brawl with the best of them. There’s nothing wrong with having a guy like that around as you’re going to get an entertaining match more often than not. Still though, nothing great here.

Mankind sprints up the aisle but stops at the entrance because he’s a bit strange.

Marc Mero vs. Steve Austin

This is a rematch from the King of the Ring tournament. Austin jumps him right after the bell but Mero comes back with a quick armbar. That gets him nowhere so Steve grabs a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Back up and they slug it out with Mero, a former New York Golden Gloves Champion, easily taking control. Austin is knocked to the floor and goes after Sable, only to be jumped from behind.

Back inside and Steve gets rolled up for two but manages to send Mero out to the floor to take over. A catapult sends Mero face first into the post and another shot knocks him off the apron and into the barricade. Back in and a middle rope elbow gets two for Austin and we hit a reverse chinlock. Austin slaps Mero in the back of the head but misses a charge and lands on the middle rope to give Marc a breather.

Steve goes up but gets crotched down, allowing Mero to pull him down and hook a hurricanrana to send both guys to the floor. A moonsault press off the apron takes Austin down again and a slingshot moonsault gets two back inside. Mero pounds away with right hands in the corner but Austin shoves him to the side, crotching Mero on the top rope. Marc blocks Austin’s Stunner finisher and gets two off a slingshot legdrop. For some reason Marlena comes out to watch the ending. Not that it matters though Austin comes back with a quick chop block and the Stunner connects for the pin.

Rating: C. Good stuff here for the most part but the match felt off for some reason. It’s very interesting to see Austin evolve the Stunner over the years as there’s no kick to the ribs yet and he just snaps it off. Mero wasn’t bad in the ring at all but he never quite fit in the WWF.

Former WWF Champion Bob Backlund is running for President of the United States and looks for registered voters in the crowd.

Highlight video on the Undertaker’s feuds with Mankind and Goldust, which is set up like a music video for some reason.

Goldust vs. Undertaker

Goldust, who has since lost the Intercontinental Title to Ahmed Johnson, bails to the floor to start and does so again after Undertaker moves towards him. He gets in again and hides behind the referee for a few moments before doing his trademark deep breath. It only earns him an uppercut to the jaw, sending Goldust right back to the floor for more stalling. Lawler makes movie references as Goldust teases walking out and VERY slowly gets back in the ring.

Undertaker finally goes out after him and chokeslams Goldust down onto the steps in an awkward looking sequence. Undertaker picks up the steps but won’t crush Marlena along with Goldust. Apparently he’s a zombie with a heart. Back in and Goldust gets clotheslined down before a legdrop gets two for Undertaker. This has been one sided so far. Goldust finally comes back with some knees in the corner to take over but Undertaker grabs him by the throat and throws him into the corner to hand out a beating.

The fans chant Rest in Peace (Undertaker catchphrase) as he connects with Old School and some uppercuts. Goldust clotheslines Undertaker over the top rope but Undertaker lands on his feet and keeps firing off uppercuts. Something resembling a Stunner across the top rope snaps Goldust’s neck back but he uses the distraction to pull the turnbuckle pad away. Undertaker is sent back first into the exposed steel to finally give Goldust control.

They head outside again so Goldust can drop the steps on Undertaker’s back to further his advantage. Back in and Goldust puts on a reverse chinlock to keep the pace of the match very slow. The fans chant for Undertaker so Goldust breaks the hold like any idiot heel would do. Undertaker comes back with a big boot to the face and a small package of all things for two. The flying clothesline takes Goldust down and there’s the Tombstone, drawing Mankind up through a hole in the ring for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Way too long here and horribly boring due to all of the stalling. Goldust and Undertaker had some of the least interesting matches I can ever remember for two guys with as much talent as they have. It was clearly just a backdrop for Undertaker vs. Mankind, which isn’t something you spend three months on.

Mankind pulls Undertaker through the hole with the Mandible Claw before crawling back out on his own. The lights flicker and Undertaker’s music plays but he comes out of another hole to sneak up on Mankind. They brawl to the back to one of the only good reactions of the night.

The announcers talk about the main event while the ring is repaired.

We go to the back to see the brawl between Undertaker and Mankind continue.

Goldust and Marlena are in the boiler room where Mankind and Undertaker were fighting earlier. Goldust quotes Kramer vs. Kramer when Mankind pops up and calls Goldust mommy. Mankind rams his head into a cabinet while screaming about what mommy wants, mommy gets.

The announcers ignore what we just saw and talk about the main event a bit more.

We recap the main event six man tag which started at King of the Ring. Shawn pinned British Bulldog in the rematch but Vader and Owen Hart came in for a post match attack. Ultimate Warrior and Ahmed Johnson came in for the save, setting up the six man. Ultimate Warrior was suspended a few weeks after for reasons already mentioned, so Shawn and Ahmed brought in Sid to take his place. It’s not clear if Sid can be trusted though.

The People’s Posse says they can trust Sid and they’ll win tonight.

People’s Posse vs. Camp Cornette

If Camp Cornette loses, Cornette has to pay back all of the fans, which would cost him millions. Also Owen has a broken arm coming in. Vader and Ahmed start things off but Vader wants the world champion instead. Shawn is happy to oblige and is easily shoved away by the monster. Vader lifts Shawn into the air in a choke but Shawn punches his way to freedom. Shawn speeds things up and actually hits a running hurricanrana to take Vader down. A cross body sends Vader to the floor and Michaels follows with a nice plancha to take the monster down.

Shawn tries another hurricanrana but gets hit a bit low to give Vader control. Vader pounds away in the corner and Shawn is in quick trouble. Michaels manages to escapes a belly to back suplex and makes the hot tag off to Sid for a battle of the giants. Sid cleans house and sends all of Camp Cornette out to the floor, drawing a HUGE reaction from the crowd. Owen tries to sneak in from behind but is easily taken down by another clothesline. Off to Johnson who actually rolls German suplexes on Owen.

Johnson misses an elbow drop and it’s off to the Bulldog to pound away for a bit until he gets caught in a spinebuster. Ahmed hits his Pearl River Plunge tiger bomb but it’s Owen making the save. Off to Vader for some power but Ahmed pounds him down in the corner to keep the fans into things the entire way through. Vader easily reverses a whip into the corner and hits a hard splash followed by even more fists to the head and body. Another splash attempt is caught in a slam which looked WAY easier than it should have for Ahmed.

Owen comes in and takes Johnson down with a spinwheel kick but Johnson pops up at two. Johnson keeps coming back with a gorilla press slam and it’s back to Sid for a big boot to the face before firing off some very fast right hands in the corner. Sid whips Owen into the Cornette corner and it’s time for the Bulldog vs. Sid power match. Smith actually lifts him up in the delayed vertical suplex and a Vader elbow is good for two. Vader runs Sid over again and brings Smith back in for some headbutts.

Sid is able to get in a shot to the face and makes the tag off to Shawn, but Bulldog quickly avoids a charge to send Shawn shoulder first into the post. Shawn sends Bulldog into Vader to knock the big man off the apron and get a pair of two counts on Smith. Back to Owen to trade some VERY fast rollups with Shawn for two each before Shawn gets two more off a cross body. A victory roll gets the same for Michaels and they head to the mat before bridging into Ric Flair’s trademark pinfall reversal sequence. Outstanding sequence there.

Back to Bulldog for a legdrop but Michaels avoids an elbow drop to get a breather. Owen finally uses the cast on the bad arm to put Shawn down and it’s back to Vader to pound away on the world champion. Shawn is whipped across the ring and goes over the corner and out to the floor in a big crash. After Owen and Bulldog get in some cheap shots on the floor it’s back in for a half standing chinlock/half bearhug on Shawn with Vader’s arms wrapped around his neck and under his arms. Not a bad looking hold actually.

The hold stays on for awhile as a fan tries to interfere and is easily run off by Bulldog and the referee. After several minutes of the hold, Vader throws Shawn down and splashes him but Ahmed comes in to break up a cover. Bulldog comes in and puts on an over the shoulder backbreaker followed by a fallaway slam for two. Smith misses a charge into the corner but it’s Hart breaking up the hot tag attempt yet again.

Shawn punches Owen down but can’t follow up, allowing for another tag back to Davey, whose cover is quickly broken up by a Sid legdrop. Vader gets the tag and Shawn crawls over to make one as well, but the referee doesn’t see Ahmed get the tag. Johnson protests but Shawn gets triple teamed, giving Bulldog another two count. Owen tries a missile dropkick but hits Bulldog by mistake, allowing Shawn to FINALLY make the tag off to Sid.

The big man cleans house and chokeslams every member of Camp Cornette before launching Shawn off the top onto Vader for two. Everything breaks down and Cornette throws in the tennis racket but Shawn intercepts it to clock Vader in the head. Somehow that’s only good for two so Shawn tunes up the band, only to have Cornette trip him up. Vader runs Michaels over and hits the Vader Bomb for the pin to suck the life out of the crowd.

Rating: A-. REALLY good match here with everyone working hard and having a match that had the fans going nuts. Sid’s popularity is nearly astounding as the guy was just crazy over on about three moves. The ending was obvious, but on rare occasions that’s not a bad thing with this being a good example of that.

Post match Sid and Ahmed clean house with powerbombs to Owen and Bulldog but Vader is pulled to safety. Shawn dives over the top and takes out Vader, sending Camp Cornette running off. A lot of posing ends the show.

Overall Rating: D. The only thing that is holding up this show is the main event. Let’s look at this entire card: what in the world would you want to pay for on this show? There are five matches, zero titles on the line, and the one match that might draw some interest had a telegraphed ending. This was a terribly uninteresting show which set a record for the lowest buyrate in company history as not many people cared about seeing this show. It also doesn’t help that two weeks prior to this, Hulk Hogan turned heel in WCW, lighting the fire that would burn the WWF as close to a crisp as you can be for the next year and a half.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 15, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s FINALLY time to wrap up this horrible cycle as it’s the go home show for the dreadful In Your House IX. The big story coming out of last week is Sid joining forces with Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson in their fight against Camp Cornette, leading to a main event that serves no purpose other than to set up Summerslam. Let’s get to it.

Sunday’s main event participants almost got in a fight earlier today but were cut off by an opening sequence. You never know when one of those things might save you.

Intercontinental Title: Bart Gunn vs. Ahmed Johnson

It’s going to be a very long night. Ahmed is defending because he was talented enough to get a singles title. Bart is half of the Tag Team Champions and has Sunny as a cowgirl so I’m thinking advantage Gunn. Ahmed starts with the power by throwing Bart over off a hiptoss. A clothesline drops Ahmed and it’s time to stomp a lot. Bart starts working on the arm with some slow cranking and a wrap around the post.

We hit an armbar on the mat before Bart puts on a hammerlock with his feet. The referee finally catches Sunny cheating but Ahmed charges shoulder first into the post. That means a cross armbreaker as Vince goes into a mini tirade about Warrior walking out and not being above the rest of the roster. The arm goes into the buckle and we take a break. Geez Vince we’re already watching this horrible show. What more do you need? Back with Ahmed crotching Bart on top and Ahmed knocking him off the ropes for a big crash. A spinebuster and the Pearl River Plunge retain the title.

Rating: F. You could hear the crowd more and more every time Bart worked on the arm. This was WAY too long and boring with Bart Gunn being as uninteresting of a challenger that they could find. It was a horrible idea all around and I can’t imagine anyone actually thought this would work.

Shawn Michaels says he’ll win tonight and again on Sunday.

Marc Mero vs. T.L. Hopper

So last week we got rid of the wrestling garbageman but tonight we have the wrestling plumber. On the way to the ring, Goldust’s usher runs out and gives Sable a gold package but she throws it down. To celebrate the passing of the torch, we get a look at Hopper pinning Droese over the weekend. Oh and plumbing videos. Why would those be recorded?

Mero takes him down and works on a headlock, followed by a dropkick that made no contact, even with the camera cutting away. We go to a split screen with Camp Cornette celebrating something we can’t hear because the audio doesn’t work. Hopper takes him down for a headscissors on the mat as the crowd is just GONE.

Can you blame them after the last few weeks of this show? I’m sure the empty seats are just a coincidence. There are long stretches of this match going on and there’s just nothing to talk about. They’re just slowly punching each other as Lawler and Vince make every stupid plumber joke you can imagine.

We take a break and the silence when we come back is eerie. Steve Austin joins us and I really don’t care what he says (he’s ready for Mero on Sunday in case you’re wondering) because it’s instantly more interesting than whatever these two are doing in the ring. Lawler starts turning into a sexist as there are even more empty seats. Mero hits a running knee lift and FINALLY finishes him with the big left hand.

Rating: F-. Earlier today I was reading Chris Jericho’s first book and he talked about being offered a chance to join the WWF in one of these roster filling spots with the stupid gimmicks. If Jericho has ever made a better career move I’d love to hear what it was because these things are absolutely death for these people’s careers and it’s no wonder you never hear from them again. I don’t remember being this bored in a match for a long time and that includes Gunn vs. Johnson, which I didn’t think would be topped for years.

Camp Cornette says they’ll win.

Here’s a three minute Undertaker video. Do they just want everyone to switch over to Nitro? I’d be glad to at this point. You know what? That’s not a bad idea. Here’s a match from the same week’s Nitro for the sake of keeping you awake.

Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero

Think this will be good? Benoit is a Horseman and Eddie is starting to get a pretty solid push which would result in a US Title reign by the end of the year. Even Heenan knows this is going to be a great match. This is one of those combinations that is going to be awesome due to them knowing each other so well. Those are always fun as they don’t have to waste time figuring each other out.

Benoit jumps him to start and pounds Eddie down in the corner. Hard whip into the corner and Benoit goes into Wolverine mode. And let’s talk about Hogan now. Eddie gets draped over the top as Benoit keeps the advantage. Off to the chinlock rather quickly and thankfully it ends quickly. Reverse suplex is countered by Eddie and he sends Benoit to the floor with an armdrag. Big dive off the top takes both guys down.

Back inside Eddie busts out the hilo but doesn’t cover. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Benoit down again. Eddie vs. Flair at the PPV is announced. Benoit gets a shot in and let’s look at the NWO sign again because the Outsiders are gone. Benoit shows off those steroid muscles with a gorilla press. There’s a camel clutch despite Eddie not really resembling a camel at all. They show the crowd again and this time I can live with it because we’re in a hold. There’s nothing to see here so it’s not as stupid of a move here.

Eddie gets up and fires off a belly to back suplex to break Benoit’s momentum. Benoit is like screw that and hits a hard chop and the snap suplex gets two. Eric loves talking about the fact that he’s taking a motorcycle to Sturgis for the PPV. Liontamer goes on before Jericho had copyrighted it. BIG powerbomb plants Eddie but a delay in the cover lets Eddie get out of it. Benoit works on the back with a backbreaker and then holds Eddie over the knee for a bit to add in some more pain. The guy knew how to hurt people.

Back to the chinlock which I can understand now as they’ve been out there for a bit and probably need some air. Benoit puts him down again and goes up but Guerrero pops up and nails a superplex to put Chris down. Solid stuff so far. Benoit gets up first as both guys were down for a bit. Eddie fires away in the corner and they slug it out. Apparently every big name is in Japan tonight.

Benoit wins the chop fest but Eddie knocks him down in the corner. Eddie tries a hurricanrana which Benoit mostly blocks as he walks to the rope. The hurricanrana hits anyway and it takes both guys over the top to the floor. Malenko pops up for no apparent reason as does Jimmy Hart. Malenko sends Benoit’s head into the post and Eddie just barely beats the count back in. This led to a thirty minute or so war between Malenko and Benoit at the PPV.

Rating: B. This was your typical great match between the two but I’m not huge on the ending. It did however set up a match at the PPV which is all you can ask for. Also you don’t want Benoit losing clean nor do you want Eddie losing before they get to a PPV title match. The decision was really all that they could do and thankfully we got a very good match until that point.

By the time I went into my flash drive, found that show and pulled up the review, this Undertaker video is STILL GOING.

WWF World Title: Billy Gunn vs. Shawn Michaels

Shawn is defending as we complete the Smoking Gunns two step. Billy headlocks him to start and a shoulder puts the champ (the WWF World Champ that is) down. We go to a chat with Ahmed who guarantees victory on Sunday. Billy is sent outside so Shawn kisses Sunny and sunset flips Billy for two. The yet to be named Fameasser (minus the jump) gets two on Shawn so he crotches Billy against the post. Sunny offers a distraction so Billy can slam Shawn off the top to take over.

We take a break with Vince shouting “WHAT DOES SEX HAVE TO DO WITH THE WWF CHAMPIONSHIP???” I’ll leave the context out for the sake of preventing boredom. Back with Billy putting on a chinlock and the slow beating continues. Lawler freaks out as Sunny leans over and brags about Billy winning the title. We see Camp Cornette leaving and it’s time for another break. Back again with Shawn nipping up, dropping the elbow and hitting Sweet Chin Music to retain.

Rating: D. Somehow that’s the best thing of the night and I assure you it has nothing to do with Sunny running all over the place. Shawn was much better than anyone else on this show but that’s hardly a great accomplishment. I still don’t know what anyone saw in Billy as a singles run but at least he was better than Bart.

Cornette throws coffee at Shawn to lure he and Ahmed into a beatdown. Sid drives up seconds later, nearly crashes his car, and runs over towards the brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This might be the worst episode of Monday Night Raw that I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen every episode in the show’s history. It’s very clear that they were out of gas at this point and there was no one wanting to put in any effort before we get to the worthless pay per view this weekend. Just a miserable show here which felt like it would never end, as was the case way too often around this time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 8, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re coming up on In Your House IX, which was barely mentioned last week. To be fair though, it’s not like anyone cared about that waste of a show so they might as well just punt for the next two weeks and be done with it. The big deal this week is Ultimate Warrior’s last appearance for nearly 18 years due to him leaving the company (again) before this was taped, meaning he’s making “one last special appearance” here. Let’s get to it.

WWF President Gorilla Monsoon suspends Ultimate Warrior indefinitely for not appearing at house shows. He can come back if he posts an appearance bond to guarantee that he’ll show up as advertised in the future. Oh but he’s here tonight to face Owen Hart.

Opening sequence.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Owen Hart

Owen is sent outside to start and let’s go to Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson to ask who they’ll be teaming with on Sunday. We’ll find that out later so we’ll look at Warrior slamming Owen instead and then clotheslining him out to the floor. A side slam plants Owen before Warrior no sells a spinwheel kick. Owen stomps away and we take a break. Back with Owen stomping even more and hitting a loud enziguri for no cover. A missile dropkick (Owen really likes using his feet) gets two and the kickout sends Owen out to the floor. Here’s the British Bulldog as Warrior Hulks Up, only to have Bulldog come in for the DQ.

Rating: C+. So that’s it for the Warrior, who left because his dad died, despite not really having anything to do with his dad for years. This got really nasty between Warrior and the company and led to them having no relationship for the better part of twenty years. Yeah Warrior was basically nuts but they completely buried him on the way out, which is rather petty.

Camp Cornette destroys Warrior post match and that’s that.

Shawn and Ahmed promise to reveal the third man. This has to be a bit of a rib or something at Hogan’s expense right? I mean it’s not funny (nor is it meant to be) but I’m sure there’s something there.

Savio Vega vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

Brian Pillman tries to jump Savio but gets held back. They slug it out to start with Savio hitting a spinwheel kick over the corner, only to get caught in a bulldog (required move for almost all Texans, or at least cowboys). Another slugout goes nowhere until Uncle Zebekiah punches Savio in the ribs. Lawler thinks John Travolta is the third man and Vince’s reaction is exactly what you would expect.

We hit the sleeper on Savio but Bradshaw switches over to a chinlock to really mix things up. The discussion moves on to the third man, which turns into an Abbott and Costello routine. It’s back to the sleeper for a long time so now let’s have a phone call from Mr. Perfect to give the announcers ANYTHING else to talk about. We take a break and come back with Mr. Perfect gone and Bradshaw hitting a pumphandle slam. This match just keeps going as Savio avoids a charge and gets in a suplex to put both guys down. Zebekiah grabs the wrong foot and Savio hits a leg lariat to FINALLY end this.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what a mess. This is the definition of a match that just keeps going and serves no purpose other than filling in time on a show that isn’t interesting in the first place. That’s the major problem around this time: there’s nothing interesting about these two fighting because there’s no reason for them to have a fifteen minute match. Why would I want to sit and watch a long match with no story between uninteresting characters?

Zebekiah and Bradshaw use various cowboy instruments to beat Savio down.

Shawn and Ahmed still won’t say who it is.

Clips from a rally before a show.

British Bulldog/Yokozuna vs. Godwinns

Jim Cornette sits in on commentary and promises a lawsuit due to the Godwinns’ animals. Henry runs Bulldog over to start but Vader comes in to destroy him. Cornette tries to figure out the Warrior suspension angle and says Warrior is running from Camp Cornette but it didn’t work either. Henry actually suplexes Vader before shouldering the monster down. It’s off to Phineas for a horrible looking splash so Vader takes his head off with a clothesline.

Bulldog comes in and gets caught in a bulldog (make your own joke) as the slow brawling continues. We hit a chinlock on Henry before Bulldog just hits him in the back a few times. This match just keeps going as Vader hits a splash for two as Vince tells us that we can’t get a promised Undertaker video. Maybe you should cut down on fifteen minute Bradshaw vs. Vega match. The Vader Bomb crushes Henry and we take a break. You know, because Vader’s finisher can’t beat HENRY GODWINN.

Back with Bulldog suplexing Henry for two and bringing Vader back in to keep this going. Henry actually catches a charging Vader in a powerslam, drawing Cornette off commentary and into his manager’s role. The un-hot tag brings in Phineas as Cornette is back on commentary and calling his team idiots. Everything breaks down and Bulldog hits the powerslam (without even running) for the pin on Phineas.

Rating: D. Again just long here in a match that could have wrapped up about ten minutes earlier than it should have. Somehow this was an upgrade over the previous match though, perhaps due to Bulldog and Vader being a lot more entertaining than Vega or Bradshaw. This really could have been better if they just cut off about five minutes but this is what we’re stuck with because Raw sucks.

Jim Cornette isn’t worried about the new partner so Shawn and Ahmed bring in Sid to send Cornette through the roof to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Another way too long and boring show with a bunch of matches that fans weren’t interested in seeing and a really bad way of sending Warrior off. The Sid idea was about as good as they were going to get and I’m fine with the WHO IS THE THIRD MAN thing as they did it for one night and made it fine enough to work. This cycle can’t end soon enough though so we can get on to the Summerslam build.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 1, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

It’s Shawn-a-Mania running wild here as Shawn is the undisputed king of the company and rolling over anyone who dares challenge him. Unfortunately this isn’t exactly saving them in the ratings but there’s only so much they can do against Nitro and the Outsiders at this point, especially with British Bulldog as his top challenger in the previous few months. Let’s get to it.

Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Non-title. Shawn has the Kliq Cam with him to make sure he’s even less interesting than he already was. Jim Cornette is on the floor with the New Rockers to help set up Shawn vs. Vader. They do the big lockup to start as Vince talks about Canada Day. Feeling out process to start with Shawn nipping back up off an early takedown. Some armdrags put Shawn down again and it’s actually all Marty early on. You know Shawn isn’t going to sell for that long though and he makes a quick comeback with a few armdrags of his own, followed by a clothesline.

Leif pulls his partner out of the way of Sweet Chin Music and offers a distraction so Marty can take over again. There’s a backdrop to drop Shawn on his back but Marty spends too much time posing. Back from a break with Marty getting two off a snapmare (yes a snapmare) and putting on a chinlock. Shawn’s comeback is cut off when his shoulder goes into the post. Marty lands on his feet to escape a monkey flip and nails a quick clothesline. Again Shawn will have none of that and hits the forearm but doesn’t go straight for the superkick.

Instead he tries a powerbomb which is countered into a hurricanrana which is countered into a sunset flip for two on Marty. We take another break and come back with Marty scoring with the Rocker Dropper but missing the top rope fist drop. Shawn goes old school with a piledriver (which, along with the teardrop suplex were completely abandoned once he went to the superkick) and the top rope elbow, followed by Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: B. These two always worked well together, dating back to their great feud in 1993 over the Intercontinental Title. Marty continues to be a very underrated performer who could have been much better remembered if he wasn’t partnered with Shawn Michaels earlier in his career. Really good TV match here though which you could easily put on yet another Shawn DVD.

Leif tries to interfere and gets a superkick of his own. Shawn’s manager Jose Lothario punches out Cornette, who did nothing here.

We look at Sunny suckering Phineas Godwinn in to admit he loved her before ripping him apart and sending the Smoking Gunns in for the beatdown. Hillbilly Jim and Henry Godwinn made the save, leaving Sunny to be slopped. Sunny looked great here, before the slopping that is.

Mankind vs. Duke Droese

Jake Roberts is on commentary, which isn’t something you often hear. Lawler makes drunk jokes about Roberts as Mankind beats the heck out of Droese to start. We take a very early break and come back with Mankind cranking on the arm as the slow beating continues, only to be cut off by Jake asking what closet Lawler came out of. A quick spinebuster gives Duke a breather but Mankind grabs the Mandible Claw to break up…..something that isn’t important as Droese is out.

Rating: D. This was just a squash and it makes sense that Droese was gone after this, save for a few matches on Superstars. The guy was a wrestling garbageman though and he’s only going to get so far in the company. At least things are starting to shift though and that’s a really good thing for the WWF’s future.

Lawler and Roberts get in an argument with Jerry slapping him, only to have Mankind put Jake down with the Claw.

Marc Mero vs. Goldust

Steve Austin is on commentary before his match with Mero at In Your House IX. Goldust is feuding with Undertaker so a cameo isn’t out of the question. During the entrances, Austin starts yelling at Vince for cutting him off and you can almost hear 1998 from here. Mero punches him out to the floor to start as Austin goes off on Roberts for being old. Goldust is sent outside again as the stalling continues.

We take a break and come back with Mero knocking Goldust around ringside before he gets caught in a chinlock. Make that three chinlocks as this just keeps going. Goldust drops a fist to the head and we hit ANOTHER chinlock as we go to a second break. Back with Mero missing an elbow drop and Goldust hammering away with right hands. That’s enough excitement so it’s off to a REVERSE chinlock.

Mero gets back up and charges into a back elbow, setting up a powerslam for two. A double clothesline puts both of them down because this match hasn’t involved enough laying around. Marlena gets very close to Sable as Mero makes his comeback. The camera stays on the women and cuts back to see Goldust hitting the Curtain Call for the pin.

Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness what a boring match. This was a bunch of sitting around waiting on anything interesting to happen and then not being surprised when nothing happened. These guys are better than this and I have no idea why they had such a horrible match with such little effort involved.

Overall Rating: C-. The opener is really good but it’s not enough to save the rest of the show. This show went up against the go home show for Bash at the Beach 1996 (as in the Third Man) so the follow up from this mess is going against Hogan’s big first appearance from this show. Well at least it should as Hogan didn’t debut in the Black and White until the NEXT week for reasons of WCW is stupid. Either way, this show sucked, save for Shawn of course, which is just how things worked in 1996.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Smackdown
Date: March 28, 2002
Location: First Union Center, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 13,600
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler

With the Draft out of the way, this is the final regular episode of Smackdown with the full roster before things split up next week. That means it’s also the last chance for the wrestlers to make one last good impression against their interpromotional rivals. In other words it’s a lame duck show that they’re trying to pass off as something important. Let’s get to it.

Booker T. vs. Diamond Dallas Page

Of course this show starts with two guys from WCW. Fallout from Monday’s tag match. Booker stomps him into the corner to start so Page chops away. The Draft picks start running along the bottom as Page hits a helicopter bomb for two. Not that it matters as Brock Lesnar comes in to take out Page for the DQ.

Here’s Kurt Angle with something to say but we have to wait on the YOU SUCK WHAT chants because that’s how wrestling fans like their comedy. Angle thinks the people are pathetic, but not as pathetic as what happened to Stephanie on Raw. Kurt would like a special moment of silence and you can imagine his reaction when he’s booed out of the building. This brings out Vince to insult the fans and talk about HHH being the kind of model citizen that seduced and then humiliated his daughter. Then on Monday he beat her up!

Vince promises to take care of HHH and here’s the champ so Vince can make threats to his face. HHH promises to make Vince’s life miserable if Vince screws with him but decides Kurt is right: we should honor Stephanie, perhaps by looking at the end of Raw. That’s enough to make Kurt want a match against HHH tonight but Vince has a better idea: the two of them against HHH. This brings out Ric Flair to make it a tag match.

D-Von gives Bubba some exposition about the team splitting up if they don’t win the titles tonight.

Tag Team Titles: Dudley Boyz vs. Billy and Chuck

Billy and Chuck are defending and if the Dudleys lose they’re split up. On the other hand, if Billy and Chuck lose then they stay together, in theory at least. The questions I’ll never have answered. Bubba and Chuck start things off with Chuck being sent into the corner for some loud chops to the chest. D-Von comes in for some shoulders to Billy and it’s back to Bubba for some house cleaning. The Bubba Bomb gets two on Chuck and Rico offers a quick distraction, only to have the Doomsday Device plant Chuck. Rico’s second distraction works though and leaves Bubba to hit a Fameasser to retain the titles.

Rating: D+. So that’s it for the Dudleys in one of the most questionable moves I’ve seen in a long time. I get the idea of splitting up Edge and Christian and maybe the Hardys but who thought Bubba and D-Von could survive on their own? For the life of me I still don’t get the thinking behind that one and it’s yet another casualty of the Draft.

Bubba and D-Von destroy the champs with all the usual stuff one more time. There has to be a joke about Billy taking What’s Up. I don’t know if he had it coming in but Bubba’s eye (as in the eyeball itself) is full of blood. That’s quite the scary look.

The APA is splitting up and aren’t happy about it. Since it’s their last night together, they’re going to have a farewell bash. Tajiri is in charge of telling everyone and Torrie Wilson is in charge of playing strip poker.

Matt and Lita (interviewed by Lillian Garcia, who actually looked much better in her 40s) are so happy that they’re on the same show. Chris Jericho comes up and says no one should be happy since he can’t be champion again. Matt calls him a has been and gets jumped, likely setting up something for later tonight.

The Rock and Hogan call each other brother before talking about whether or not they can trust Kane in their six man tag tonight. Rock imitates King Kong Bundy and Kamala in a way to say yes. Dang it I was hoping for some more of those as there are multiple other Hogan monsters he could have done.

Anyway, Kane comes in and says it doesn’t matter if Rock is ready. In the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen from Kane (and that’s covering A LOT), he does an amazing Hogan-style promo, saying it doesn’t matter if it’s 20,000 Hulkamaniacs, 20,000 of the millions or 20,000 screaming Kaneannites (Rock: “Kaneannites?”) because the three of them are going to run wild on the NWO. He even does the posing and the hand to his ear with the fans absolutely losing their minds over this. This was HILARIOUS with Rock looking somewhere between amazed, terrified and stunned.

Hulk Hogan/The Rock/Kane vs. NWO

Apparently Flair drafted the NWO so he could “keep an eye on the poison.” Wouldn’t it be smarter to get rid of the poison? Rock and X-Pac get things going with X-Pac in early trouble before it’s off to Hall. The bad guys (as in the team with the Bad Guy) take over with Nash hitting the knees in the corner but Rock shrugs them off and tags in Hogan. I know he’s considered lazy but he can do a hot tag like almost no one ever.

Nash gets in a side slam (no hair flip yet) and Hogan gets beaten down. Wait so Kane is getting the house cleaning spot? That’s an odd choice but I’m willing to go with it due to that pre-match promo alone. A belly to back suplex breaks up Hall’s sleeper and the real hot tag brings in Kane. The Fake Diesel hits the real Diesel as everything breaks down. Well most of it does at least as Hogan is just standing on the apron while his partners fight 3-2. It turns out fine though as Kane chokeslams X-Pac for the pin.

Rating: C+. This would have been a good house show main event and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hogan was looking energetic here (believe that one if you want to) and X-Pac was the only one with any kind of fire on his team. I know he gets a lot of flack for good reason but when X-Pac had his head on straight, he was one of the better workers on the roster. Did the NWO ever actually win a major match? They debuted at No Way Out, won a few TV matches and then lost both Wrestlemania matches. What a great stable.

Matt Hardy vs. Chris Jericho

They start fast, likely due to a lack of time. Matt sends him into the corner to start but gets crotched on top to slow him down again. Cue Lita for a top rope hurricanrana, setting up the Twist of Fate for two. Lita gets knocked off the apron and a low blow sets up the Walls to make Matt tap. Nothing match.

Jericho puts Lita in the Walls on the floor.

The APA party is going on and Torrie takes off a belly chain for her stripping. Christian freaks out over losing and destroys stuff.

Intercontinental Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Test

Van Dam is defending and gets dropped throat first across the top rope to start. A full nelson slam gets two on Van Dam as Lawler tries to figure out which brand has better looking women. Test grabs the ropes to avoid a sunset flip but we get the referee kicking his arms spot to give Rob a near fall. That earns Earl Hebner a good talking to so he does a fast count on Van Dam’s sunset flip to retain the title. Ok then.

Raven doesn’t care who he’s wrestling for because he’s destroying the things he loves.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Maven

Maven is defending and I forgot how much I liked his theme. Raven starts fast with the alternating trashcan lid shots to the head. Maven loses his balance on the ropes but gets two off a missile dropkick anyway. Here’s Tommy Dreamer to try to win the title but the distraction lets Raven grab the Raven Effect for the pin and the title, which now moves to Raw.

Angle tells Vince that he’ll help get Austin to Smackdown.

We look over the Draft lottery results, almost none of which are worth mentioning.

William Regal crashes the party to say the APA is out of business. A fight breaks out because it wouldn’t be right otherwise. Bradshaw puts up the “sorry, we’re closed” sign and they go their separate ways to what sounds like a standing ovation.

HHH/Ric Flair vs. Kurt Angle/Vince McMahon

Flair is in business pants. Vince and HHH start things off and I won’t even bother explaining why Angle and Flair come in a few seconds later. Kurt takes him into the corner to start and gets a thumb in the eye before it’s off to HHH. A quick belly to belly sends the champ flying but Flair comes back in with a sleeper. Kurt starts working on the knee and of course Vince is willing to get involved. Cole tries to explain the reason behind the Brand Split and it’s really getting worse with every word he says.

A few wraps around the post have the leg in trouble but there’s no way he’s going to get Flair in a Figure Four. I mean, he’s not Shawn or anything. Flair kicks Kurt low but the Figure Four is reversed into an ankle lock. Now Vince can get in the Figure Four, only to have Ric turn it over in a hurry. Angle is smart enough to make a very fast save before it’s off to the guys under 50. A spinebuster gets two on Kurt, only to have Vince hit HHH in the face with a belt for two. Flair actually hits the top rope shot to Vince’s head and goes for the real Figure Four but here’s Undertaker to lay Ric out and give Vince the pin.

Rating: D. Much like almost anything else HHH did around this time, this was slow, not very good, and could have been done better in less time. Vince pinning Flair doesn’t mean much and it’s not like Undertaker is going after anyone other than Ric, so this was pretty much the definition of “well, here’s a main event”.

Overall Rating: D. Hulk Hogan just had the runaway match of the night in 2002. This was a big commercial for the Brand Split as none of this matters (including a new Hardcore Champion) heading into the new WWF. Since there are almost no storylines here, everything other than Kane vs. the NWO and everything in the main event was filler. That’s not the way to make an interesting show but at least a lot of the matches were short.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ring of Honor
Date: August 24, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 850
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

We’re past Death Before Dishonor but given the screwy taping schedule around here, it could be weeks before we actually get around to the next ongoing TV show. The big story at the moment is Adam Cole winning the ROH World Title without any help, ushering in the Bullet Club as the top group in the promotion. Let’s get to it.

Jonathan Gresham vs. Hangman Page

Page spits on his hand before the opening handshake. Gresham, a bit disgusted, starts fast with a dropkick to send Page outside. That means a tease of a dive but Page catches the real thing in a fireman’s carry and LAUNCHES HIM HEAD FIRST INTO THE POST. The loud thud made it far worse and we take a much needed early break.

Back with Page getting two off a suplex but Jonathan starts in on the arm to get a breather. A dragon suplex doesn’t work so Gresham settles for a German suplex and a near fall instead. That means it’s time for a Crossface, only to have Page easily power his way out and kick Jonathan to the floor. The Rite of Passage puts Gresham away at 6:55.

Rating: C. This was fine as Page is really surprising me since his latest heel turn. It’s really annoying watching a team just add members who go nowhere so thankfully Page is actually making something out of this. Normally I’d talk about his huge win over Jay Briscoe at Death Before Dishonor but we can’t go there yet since this show’s schedule is all over the place.

The Cabinet is ready to beat up Dalton Castle and the Boys next week.

Video on Shane Taylor/Keith Lee vs. War Machine before their match next week.

The Young Bucks are ready for their World Tag Team Title shot next week and superkick the cameraman for no apparent reason.

Kamaitachi vs. Stuka Jr.

Stuka is from CMLL and flips around to start, setting up a dive to the floor to take Kamaitachi out. Christopher Daniels (Kamaitachi’s mentor) breaks up an Asai Moonsault and stomps away as we take an early break. Back with Kamaitachi stomping away even more and going for the mask like a true heel. Since that’s a bit too evil, Kamaitachi opts to just send Stuka into the barricade and choke with a chair.

Back in and it’s time to go for the mask again before Kamaitachi stomps on the knee. Stuka finally gets up and limps to the top for a moonsault into raised boots to give Kamaitachi a near fall. In something as close to cheating as you can get, Stuka loads up Shattered Dreams but hits a running dropkick to the ribs instead. That’s pushing it. They trade rollups for a few near falls each before the referee gets bumped, only to have Stuka dive onto Daniels. A top rope splash crushes Kamaitachi for no count so he pulls off Stuka’s mask and small packages him for the pin at 14:11.

Rating: C-. This is the kind of stuff that I can’t get into in any wrestling company, including Ring of Honor. Stuka is just someone from Mexico that I’ve never heard of and Kamaitachi’s entire character is that he’s Japanese and being mentored by the Addiction. I need more than that and an ok fourteen minutes of wrestling to keep my interest. The mask thing was fine but it would be nice to be told a little more about these people.

We recap the still stupid Kevin Sullivan/BJ Whitmer/Steve Corino story. Apparently Whitmer summoned Sullivan, who he sees as his spiritual father. It’s all about spreading chaos over ROH and Sullivan wanted the two of them to do it. This feels like something out of ten years ago at best and that’s not a good thing.

Jay Briscoe vs. Jay White

White has the Motor City Machine Guns in his corner. The much younger White takes Briscoe to the mat and grabs a rollup for two, which makes Briscoe take this more seriously. Briscoe forearms him in the corner and hits a running boot to the face for two. Back from a break with Briscoe slowly beating on White until a running forearm puts Briscoe down.

That’s enough for Briscoe who knocks White outside for a HARD suicide dive. Another big boot doesn’t make things any better for White and neither does the Death Valley Driver. The Jay Driller is broken up though and a German suplex gives White his first real offense. Back from another break (yes in this match) with White hitting a dropkick and Rock Bottom for two before grabbing a Crossface.

White switches it up into something like an abdominal stretch crossface (it’s better looking than it sounds), sending Briscoe’s foot into the ropes. Briscoe finally throws him off the top to take over and plants White with a superplex. Both guys are gassed so it’s time to slug it out from their knees as TV time expires at 16:00.

Rating: B. That ending actually got me and well done Ring of Honor for not going with the tired “well the rookie tried but came up just short” ending. I completely understand why you don’t want someone who has been around about a month to pin one of your top stars but it took some guts to go with a draw here instead of the Jay Driller for the pin. White looks like a player now and that’s without a doubt the best thing they could have done. Well done indeed and a very legitimate surprise.

Overall Rating: C+. You can take or leave the rest of the show but the main event was one of the better booking decisions I’ve seen in a good while on a TV match. Sometimes you need to make a new star and while this isn’t a career making moment, it’s something that’s going to get him noticed. I didn’t expect that coming into this nothing show and I got a good match as a result, making this show a success.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on TNN
Date: July 28, 2000
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Last week was a fairly stand alone show so hopefully things pick up this week. We’re months away from the next pay per view and that means it’s up to TV to carry things for a good while. After the last few months, I really don’t have a ton of confidence in ECW’s ability to do that but maybe I’ll be surprised. Let’s get to it.

TV Title: Rhino vs. Chilly Willy

Rhino is defending and this is joined in progress with Willy sending him into a chair for a near fall. The Gore and a piledriver put Willy away quick.

Post match Sandman saves Willy from going through a table and spears Rhino through it instead. Is there a reason this feud seems to be continuing?

Opening sequence.

Joey and Joel do their intro from the booth as Billy Corgan (yes that Billy Corgan) is in the ring with an original song about ECW. Cue Lou E. Dangerously with the Network to cut him off before Billy can start though. Various Smashing Pumpkins insults result in Lou taking a guitar to the head. Network runs in, Dreamer and Lynn make the save. Dreamer issues a challenges for a falls count anywhere tag later tonight.

Tajiri vs. Psicosis

Actually hang on as the FBI jumps Tajiri so we have a replacement.

Little Guido vs. Psicosis

Guido sunsets in for two at the bell but a big dive takes the Italians down. Back in and Psicosis is sent shoulder first into the post with Guido ramming it into the post over and over. Guido punches him down for two and hits a middle rope seated dropkick (that’s a new one) for two. Sal gets in a running splash against the barricade to set up a Sicilian crab, only to have Tajiri come in with a kick to the head. The guillotine legdrop puts Guido away.

Rating: C. These cruiserweight matches are fine but it would be nice if they went somewhere. It’s almost like they should be fighting for the TV Title instead of having both singles titles stuck in the main event scene. The match was fun and all and the ending sets up something else, but it would have been nice to have this go somewhere instead of being a one off match/nothing feud.

Rhino yells about various good guys.

We look at Kid Kash beating EZ Money on Hardcore TV.

Dawn Marie takes Joel’s place and mugs for the camera a lot.

We look at Carl Ouellet (Remember him?) putting Francine through a table and getting beaten up by Justin Credible as a result.

Rob Van Dam thinks the Van Terminator is pretty awesome. He’s pretty cool in general actually.

Blue Boy and Jasmine St. Clair were on Hardcore TV with Blue E. Dangerously by their side. Jazz came out and powerbombed Jasmine out of her dress.

Steve Corino/Scotty Anton vs. Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer

Falls count anywhere. It’s a brawl to start with Anton getting Dreamer in an early Clapper with Jerry making a save. Lynn dives onto Corino and Victory and the four people actually in the match head into the crowd. Corino is bleeding badly (well duh) and here’s Dreamer with a ladder. Dreamer takes Anton back inside but gets sent face first into the top of the ladder for his efforts.

The ladder is bridged between two chairs and Lynn crashes his way through it to put the Network in control. The good guys snap after being forced to do the Clap but the referee gets bumped. Dreamer and Lynn use each others’ finishers and a second referee comes out to count two with Jack Victory decking the second referee. Cue Billy Corgan to lay out Jack and count the pin.

Rating: C. Standard overly violent ECW main event here with the celebrity cameo near the end for a bit of a twist. Anton is still the worst main event guy in a long time, which is covering a lot of ground in a company with Justin Credible around. It would be nice if these matches meant something instead of just more mindless brawling but that’s not going to happen.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting very bored by this promotion and it’s no surprise that they’re in a lot of trouble at the moment. There’s just no creativity in what they’re doing and it’s the same stuff over and over again with the same brawling week to week.This week ECW won and odds are next week the Network wins and so on and so forth because that’s how ECW works.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on TNN
Date: July 21, 2000
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re finally past Heat Wave and….nothing happened. Justin Credible is still World Champion, Rhino is still TV Champion, we still have no Tag Team Champions and the Network is still endlessly feuding with ECW. The next pay per view isn’t until October so this might not be getting better for a long time. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do their thing and I can’t think of a way to censor what Gertner said. Cue Dawn Marie (my goodness) to interrupt so the guys can tell her how beautiful she is. Sex jokes are made but we cut away to breaking news of Steve Corino putting a bounty on Jerry Lynn. Da Baldies would like to collect.

Opening sequence.

Da Baldies vs. Jerry Lynn/???

It’s another mystery partner and this time Lynn has chosen……Tommy Dreamer. Tommy comes out late with Lynn already being beaten down. That happens way too often with Lynn’s partners. We take an early break and come back with the fight in the stands, meaning you can only see pieces of Dreamer beating on Angel. They head back down to ringside with Tommy beating on Angel as the other two have disappeared. Back in and Dreamer misses a charge to go shoulder first into the post. It wouldn’t be an ECW match if Dreamer wasn’t injured.

They’re on the floor all over again with Dreamer being crotched on the barricade. DeVito and Lynn remember they’re in the match and fight on the floor for a bit as Angel beats on Dreamer inside. A double flapjack drops Dreamer and of course it’s table time. Cue Jazz to powerbomb Angel for a save, allowing Dreamer to put him through the table instead. Jerry comes back in with the cradle piledriver for the pin on DeVito.

Rating: D. I’m never a fan of these matches where you can barely see a lot of the action and it’s basically two singles matches at the same time. There’s a basic enough story here though with the thugs vs. the two guys fighting against the Network and it’s nice to have anything other than the same matches over and over. The match was nothing to see of course but you can’t expect that on ECW TV.

Post match the Network runs in for the beatdown. This means we get the third name for Anton’s Sharpshooter (Clap, Clapper, Clap Trap).

CW Anderson says he’s awesome and doesn’t care that Johnny Swinger used to work in WCW.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tajiri

Justin is defending and I have no idea why this isn’t closing the show. Also wasn’t Tajiri a heel like two weeks ago? I mean, he had a Network badge and all that jazz. Tajiri starts fast with the kicks, including a big one to send Credible into the barricade. Francine has to hide from Tajiri so Justin can get in a few stomps to the back. For the life of me I don’t get the Credible appeal. There’s just nothing there and it shows worse every time he’s in the ring. I’m not sure if it was miscommunication or intentional but Tajiri hits a kick perfectly upside Justin’s head, leaving both guys standing there for a few seconds.

After that awkward pause (and a great looking kick), Justin hits him low to take over again. A swinging DDT gets two for Justin but he eats yet another kick. Tajiri goes after Francine though, meaning he has to reverse the Tombstone into one of his own (while misting Francine at the same time). The handspring elbow completely misses so Tajiri brings in a table. A top rope double stomp through the table gets two on the champ. Tajiri’s tornado DDT gets the same but That’s Incredible retains the title a few seconds later.

Rating: D+. So Justin gets beaten up, hits a few cane shots, kicks out of a bunch of stuff and hits his finisher for the pin. That sounds like money to me. I have no idea what the appeal of someone like Justin is supposed to be but it’s really not clicking no matter what he does out there. Justin feels like a midcard guy who got lost and wound up in the main event but no one can bring themselves to tell him the truth.

House show ads, including talk of a Tag Team Title tournament.

Rob Van Dam vs. Balls Mahoney

Van Dam spins around until Balls fires off those jabs. That just earns him a kick to the floor and a big flip dive so Van Dam can pose. Balls takes him outside and starts using various beverages to hit Van Dam in the face. They head into the crowd where Rob hits a quick Van Daminator and heads back to ringside. I’m so glad they added that part.

Back in and Van Dam kicks some more, including a second Van Daminator. The Five Star looks to finish but Balls small packages Rob for two instead. A super Nutcracker Sweet (sitout tombstone) gets two but Balls makes the mistake of wedging the chair into the corner. The Van Terminator puts Mahoney away.

Rating: C-. I know Balls was a big ECW fan favorite but he’s really just a brawler with a lot of joke names for his offense. Van Dam really should be doing something more than fighting random matches and then feuding with Scotty freaking Anton on pay per view. The match was fine enough, despite there being no doubt who was winning.

Overall Rating: D+. That might even be a bit generous. This was a completely nothing show with almost no story development coming off a pretty lackluster pay per view. The company has almost no momentum at the moment and it’s really showing more every single time they go on the air.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

ECW is in trouble at this point and Justin Credible isn’t making things any easier. He’s been champion for three months now and he’s really not that interesting. With Storm out of the way, the match with Dreamer is the next logical step for him as he basically stole the belt from Tommy, but that still doesn’t make him interesting on top of the company, especially with Van Dam sitting there in a meaningless match against Anton. Let’s get to it.

We open with Jasmin St. Claire on the beach in a very small swimsuit with the Blue Boy (formerly the Blue Meanie but now about 100lbs lighter) talking about how fat people are. They run into a guy in good shape who Blue Boy calls fat. A fight nearly breaks out but Jasmin hits him low.

They make out on the beach but we pan over to Sinister Minister. Apparently Blue Boy sold his soul to be thin and have Jasmin. The Minister talks about how we’re in Los Angeles where things happen when it gets hot. He references a lot of WWF pay per views before talking about the main event. We pan over again to see Mikey Whipwreck buried up to his neck in sane. Minister laughs a lot and we go to the arena.

Joel and Joey are in the ring to open things up. The ramp is gone again. Styles is glad to be on the west coast, though it was ECW’s lone appearance here. Joel’s rhyme is especially filthy this time so here’s Cyrus to cut him off. Gertner gets on the apron but comes back inside as Cyrus is asking the people if they know who he is. He brags about deporting Super Crazy (he’ll be back) and taking the TV Title from Tajiri. Cyrus used the ECW on TNN budget to promote Rollerjam (a roller derby show) and stripped Rob Van Dam of the TV Title. Joel cuts him off and says he doesn’t want to be on TNN.

Cyrus says he’s canceled ECW and threatens to turn out Gertner’s lights. He says Joel delivers the fat gay demographic so Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. They argue some more with Joel saying he helps Cyrus but Cyrus counters by saying Joel never paid a due in wrestling. Joey says he has an IQ over 140 and went to an Ivy League college so he doesn’t need to put up with Cyrus. It’s been a pleasure working with Joey, but Joel is done. Cyrus gloats but Gertner sneaks up on him and gets in a few good shots before security drags him away.

Big Sal comes in and beats up some security and referees before his match.

Balls Mahoney vs. Big Sal E. Graziano

Balls has to beat up the newest member of the FBI Tony Mamaluke but gets decked by Sal. Mahoney hammers away and kicks Sal low before nailing him with a chair. Sal won’t go down and chokeslams Balls, followed by a belly to belly suplex for the pin.

Rob Van Dam has something new tonight: the Van Terminator. He’s teased that move for a few weeks now but no one knows what it is.

We see Bobby Eaton (a very talented wrestler from the 1980s who was still better than most of ECW’s roster at this point) appearing at the ECW Arena to go after C.W. Anderson for disrespecting the Anderson Family.

Simon Diamond/Swinger/C.W. Anderon vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring/Kid Kash

Diamond has dropped most of his entourage and is part of a tag team with Swinger (a muscular guy with long hair and that’s about the extent of things that differentiates him from others). Anderson is on his own now as well and recently broke Kash’s four month undefeated streak. The other four guys are decent teams but the Tag Team Titles remain vacant.

Simon and Kash get things going with a technical sequence and the fans already declare it boring. Kash nails a hard chop in the corner before they kick each other away to give us a standoff. Anderson comes in but is quickly taken down and nailed with a middle rope elbow drop. Doring and Roadkill crush Swinger and Diamond in the corner before clearing the ring. Kash nails a slingshot hurricanrana over the top to the floor to take Anderson down.

Back in and Kash hits a springboard clothesline to Anderson before another hurricanrana sends Simon back to the floor. The numbers finally catch up to Kash and Swinger takes over. Anderson comes in but charges into an elbow in the corner, followed by a moonsault press to put him down. It’s off to Doring vs. Swinger with Danny cleaning house with jawbreakers.

Simon comes back with a cobra clutch legsweep to drop Doring before Diamond plants him for two. Anderson blasts him in the jaw with the left hand but Doring slams him face first into the mat. The fans are going NUTS for Roadkill here and they get exactly what they want. Roadkill comes in and cleans house, sending all three villains to the floor for a big dive from Doring.

Kash hits an even bigger one but Roadkill tops them all by taking out all five guys. Back in and Roadkill gets crotched on the top, allowing Simon and Swinger to double team Doring with a backbreaker/reverse DDT combination. The Anderson spinebuster plants Kash for two but Roadkill breaks it up with a legdrop to the back of the head. Kash breaks up the Problem Solver (double team elevated DDT) to Doring, who nails the double arm DDT on Diamond. The Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gives Kash the pin over Swinger.

Rating: B-. Nice six man tag here but the booking is a little confusing. If Simon and Swinger is supposed to be the new big team, why would you have them lose here? It’s a shame that the tag team division is starting to pick up some steam, just as there are no belts for anyone to win.

Rhino likes putting Sandman’s wife in the hospital and Sandman’s kids watching her.

Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino

Corino is still Network and has Victory with him. Lynn chops away in the corner to start and scores with a middle rope bulldog. A clothesline sends Steve to the floor and Lynn’s big dive takes both of them out. Back in and Jerry is sent to the apron but he sends Steve down onto the floor to take over again. A tornado DDT onto the floor has Corino busted open already. Jerry gouges at the cut and hammers away back inside.

Corino gets punched in the corner but he’s still able to come out with an atomic drop. The blond hair is already half covered in blood. Some left hands and the Bionic Elbow put Lynn down for two and a powerslam gets the same. They head back to the floor with Corino making sexual remarks about some fans’ mothers before whipping Lynn into the barricade.

Back in and a t-bone suplex stops Lynn’s offense for two. Victory throws in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it into Corino’s face to put both guys down. Lynn hammers away and the blood is just flowing from Corino’s head. Another chair is brought in and Lynn DDTs Corino off the top rope onto the steel for two. Jerry is all ticked off and rubs Steve’s blood on his own face before writing DIE on his stomach. Corino comes back with a superkick for two but goes up, only to get taken down in an awkward looking attempt at a reverse DDT. It was closer to a Russian legsweep than anything else and gives Jerry a two count.

Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (a reverse Twist of Fate) for two of his own but Victory tries to bring in some powder. The referee gets blinded instead so there’s no one to count. Corino takes his boot off and lays Jerry out again but there’s no referee. Victory hits Lynn in the head with the cowbell for two and Jack is stunned. They trade rollups for two each until Lynn counters a backslide into a cradle piledriver for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was a solid brawl but as usual, I don’t get the booking. If you want Corino to look like a big deal, why have him lose? Jerry winning makes sense, but you would think there’s a better opponent for him. I say you would think that, because the roster is so thin at this point that there really isn’t anyone else for him to face. More great blood from Corino though.

We see almost half of Sandman vs. Rhino from Hardcore Heaven. This is more pay per view filler which they really shouldn’t need at this point.

Sandman, with Lori next to him, rants about what Rhino did and making him go see her in the hospital every day. Rhino sneaks in and nails Sandman in the head with a Singapore cane before taking Lori to a toilet to try to drown her. Sandman gets up for the save as security drags them off.

Dawn Marie comes out to do commentary for no apparent reason.

Here’s New Jack with a broken leg, only to get jumped by Da Baldies (Angel and DeVito, the only two left). Nova and Chris Chetti run in for the save and we have a tag match.

Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova

Nova is dressed as the Flash now and Chetti has bleach blond hair. Angel gets beaten up to start and Da Baldies are quickly knocked to the floor. Chetti and Nova both hit big dives to take out a Baldie each before Chetti tries to fight them both off on his own. Angel hits a nice jawbreaker to put Chris down but Nova misses a Swanton Bomb. DeVito hits a sitout Rock Bottom but misses a moonsault instead of covering. Nova pops back up and hits rolling piledrivers into a helicopter bomb for two on DeVito, followed by the Amityville Horror and the Tidal Wave gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with Da Baldies basically getting squashed. Nova and Chetti really need something to do at this point as they’re bored beating all these teams. If only there were some belts for them to win or something like that. They’re barely breaking a sweat with these matches anymore and there’s nothing for them to win. It’s a big waste of a good act.

Tommy Dreamer talks about working at a pizzeria but never making enough money. Then he got into the wrestling business looking for the big payoff. He’s lost money, friends and jobs because of this and he wouldn’t change a thing. Francine and Justin Credible are all that stand in his way of the big payoff tonight and he wants to do things the hard way.

Dreamer nearly has a breakdown in front of the camera, ranting about how tired he is of being on a network that doesn’t respect them and everyone taking away what they created. He bangs his head into a locker and pulls at the cut….as we hear the ring announcer saying this is a three way dance because the production values aren’t very high.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Psicosis is a former ECW and WCW wrestler, making his return after about five years away. During the entrances, Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister hit the ring and we’re making it a four way.

Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey, in a suit jacket, plants Psicosis to start and Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Whipwreck nails a quick Whippersnapper on Guido and throws him outside, setting up a huge dive. Tony Mamaluke (the other FBI member) comes in but gets dropped by Mikey. That’s the end of Mikey’s early success though as he dives on Big Sal, only to get rammed into the post. Back inside and Psicosis drops a guillotine legdrop on Mikey for the elimination less than two minutes in. Why in the world was he even added? If nothing else, it’s one more paycheck Heyman had to hand out.

Psicosis kicks Tajiri in the leg but gets armdragged down. A standing hurricanrana drops him as well as Guido is nowhere in sight. Tajiri gets his throat snapped across the top rope before Guido returns to fight Psicosis in the aisle. That’s fine with Tajiri who takes them both out with an Asai Moonsault. A hard kick to the head stuns Guido and a superplex plants him. Psicosis adds a moonsault legdrop for two before walking into the Kiss of Death (Tomikaze). Tajiri kicks Guido in the head and hits a German suplex on Psicosis for the elimination.

We’re down to Tajiri vs. Guido with the latter getting chopped in the corner. Tajiri tries to take him down in a powerbomb style pin but Guido keeps bridging up in a nice series of counters. The Tarantula has some more success for Tajiri and the fans are way behind him. The handspring elbow drops Guido again and it’s chair time.

Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides the chair into Guido’s face. Back up and Guido kicks the chair into Tajiri’s face and hits a bad looking middle rope Fameasser to send Tajiri outside. The fans inquire about their pizza before they slug it out in the corner. They chop it out until Tajiri blows the green mist in his eyes and hits a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about it. We’ve seen almost this same match about seven or eight times now and whoever wins is only going to be elevated for a little while before being dropped back down the card in favor of Sandman getting title matches despite giving wrestling a bad name every time he has one of his disasters. The match was decent enough but it’s not going to mean anything.

Justin Credible says tonight, ECW introduces barbed wire to pay per view. It’s going to be hanging above the ring in the Stairway to Hell match. Ignore the fact that there was barbed wire at Barely Legal.

TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino

Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.

A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.

Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.

Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.

We go back to the commentary booth where we’re reminded Dawn Marie is still there. She hasn’t been heard in nearly an hour. Joey gets in another argument with Cyrus.

Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton

Anton is Network and has a gimmick of clapping over his head. His finishing move: the Clapper (Sharpshooter). Even his song is about giving people the Clap. A quick kick to the face drops Anton and a quick Rolling Thunder gets two. Anton bails to the floor but Rob follows him out and nails a moonsault off the barricade. The spinning kick from the apron drives a chair into Anton’s back before taking him back inside for a delayed gorilla press.

A middle rope moonsault gets two for Rob as this has been one sided so far. Van Dam goes up for a Van Daminator but Anton takes the chair away and pelts it at Rob’s head to take over. Another chair shot has Rob in trouble and Anton bulldogs him off the apron and throat first onto the barricade. Back in and Rob gets tied in the Tree of Woe before he gets planted with a belly to back superplex for two. Scotty takes him down and makes Van Dam do the Clap, only to tick Rob off again.

They head outside again with Anton sending him face first into the barricade. Back to the Tree of Woe but Rob gets his foot free for a very weak kick to send a chair into Scotty’s face. Alfonso’s chair is intercepted but Rob kicks Anton in the face to put both guys down. The chair is skateboarded into Scotty’s face for two and the split legged moonsault gets the same. Alfonso puts the chair onto Anton for Rolling Thunder but Anton gets in a chair shot to the knee.

The Clapper (and a bad one) goes on but Scotty lets go and puts the hold on Alfonso. One of the most telegraphed Van Daminators yet makes the save and there’s the Five Star but Rob doesn’t cover. Instead Scotty crawls into the corner as the fans chant Terminator. Rob climbs the ropes as Alfonso puts a chair in Anton’s face. Van Dam gets a huge springboard and dropkicks the chair into Scotty’s face for the pin. So the big move was basically a springboard Van Daminator.

Rating: D+. This match’s problem can be boiled down to one idea: Scotty Anton is not very good. Back in WCW he never could do anything beyond basic moves and that’s still the case here. It’s nothing special to see and the match was really dull as a result. This was yet another waste of Van Dam, though he’s still the most over guy in the company.

We recap Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer, which is fallout from Cyberslam where Credible took the title from Dreamer twenty minutes after Tommy won it, as well as Hardcore Heaven where Dreamer had to give up his chance to prevent Credible from throwing the belt in the trash.

ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible

This is Stairway to Hell with barbed wire over the ring and ladders used to climb it, though you win by pinfall. Dreamer brings out Jazz to equalize Francine, but then brings out George, a former valet in WCW where she was known as Gorgeous George. An interesting note from just after the match starts is a group of XPW wrestlers (a local hardcore promotion) sitting at ringside causes a big commotion and allegedly touch Francine, though she would say there was no contact at all. Security and some of the locker room come get rid of them.

After about two minutes of waiting for things to calm down, we’re ready to go. They start with a technical sequence and Joey’s reaction is great: “A wrestling match has broken out!” Justin superkicks Dreamer in the face to take over as we’re just waiting on the weapons to come in. They’re quickly outside with Dreamer hitting Credible with a beer.

Alleged brawling takes place in the crowd but thankfully they stop walking around and get back to ringside. Never mind as they head back into the crowd with Justin already busted open. Dreamer brings out a ladder up near the announcers’ area but gets shoved off the ladder and down near the merchandise stand. Back to ringside with Dreamer getting in a shot to take over and putting the ladder on the corner in the ring. Dreamer gets whipped face first into the end of the ladder as Joey and Cyrus argue again.

Justin replaces the ladder with an open chair on the corner but puts the ladder over the bottom rope. Tommy catapults him hands first into the ladder (the camera shot ruined the spot) and goes up the ladder, onto to have Francine hit him low for the save. Dreamer falls but lands on Francine in a big crash, drawing in Jazz and George.

To the shock of no one with a brain, George turns on Jazz and helps Francine up. Francine misses a Bronco Buster to George and gets beaten up by Jazz, including ripping off her top to reveal tape. Jazz takes That’s Incredible but Dreamer hits the Tommyhawk (a reverse Outsider’s Edge but Dreamer pulls him down into a cutter) for two.

Dreamer climbs the ladder to bring down the barbed wire which he wraps around the top rope. Justin goes up top but gets crotched on the wire, only to be fine five seconds later as he pulls Tommy into That’s Incredible on the wire for two. Tommy hits a DDT onto the wire but Justin hits another That’s Incredible on the barbed wire to retain.

Rating: D. The ending was so obvious that it made the rest of the match feel like a bit waste of time. Justin gets to keep the belt for another few months and this match doesn’t take away any of the criticisms about him. He doesn’t come off as interesting or skilled, but rather a two move guy with a very generic cocky heel character to him. The barbed wire only came into play for the last minute and a half, making the rest of the match just a regular dull ECW brawl that we’ve seen about a dozen times before. Dreamer felt like he was a lame duck challenger coming in and that’s exactly what he came off looking like in the match.

Justin celebrates and Cyrus is thrilled to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This company is very quickly reaching a point where nothing seems to matter. It felt like I’ve seen these same matches on previous shows and this was just a big mixture of whatever ideas they’ve run with before. Rob Van Dam continued to be the most wasted piece of talent you’ll find in this era as he’s having a nearly twenty minute match with career dead weight Scotty Anton while Rhino beats up Sandman for what feels like six months and the midcard guys are still midcard guys because so few people get elevated in this company.

Why should a fan get behind most of the people in this company? Guys like Tajiri and Roadkill get some of the biggest reactions of the night but are stuck in the same three ways or meaningless tag matches (because who needs tag belts right?) for months on end with no way out in sight. It’s so frustrating to watch guys with talent working very hard to get over but getting stuck because the booking isn’t thought out or creative. The show tried, but it’s running around in circles.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

ECW on TNN
Date: July 14, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Heat Wave and it can’t get here soon enough. I’m not sure what to expect when ECW wants to put on a go home show but they’re on a bit of a roll with advancing stories. Unfortunately there’s only so much advancement you can have here, though a few matches to Sunday’s card might help as I can only think of three matches at the moment. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do their thing and Joel actually gets through his very dirty tennis rhyme. Instead of Cyrus for a change, here’s Raven to interrupt. So the rumors are that Raven is leaving so we hit the PLEASE DON’T GO chants. He thanks the fans and hugs the announcers, only to have Cyrus and Scotty Anton (of course) cut him off.

It’s a full THANK YOU RAVEN chant now but Cyrus says none of that matters to the network. He doesn’t care about Raven’s revolutionary gimmick either because Raven stole it from the Jackyl. Raven asks if this is going anywhere because he wanted to say goodbye and leave. Cyrus says Raven is going to have to bend over for the network, just like Paul Heyman. And now a match!

Raven vs. Scotty Anton

Anton takes a quick Even Flow but Rhino saves Cyrus from the same treatment. Raven gets driven through a table but Sandman (with one heck of a tan) comes in with the cane. Lori Fullington (Sandman’s wife) comes in and jumps on Cyrus’ back until security breaks it up. During the melee, Anton has Raven in the Clapper on the floor.

Rob Van Dam promises to debut the Van Terminator.

We go to the bathroom (of course) where Gary Wolfe says he’s back. Blue Meanie, now skinny and with adult star Jasmine St. Clair, comes out of a stall. Apparently his name is now the Blue Boy and he makes a bunch of fat jokes about Wolfe. Gary doesn’t take kindly to this but gets beaten down anyway. By the former Blue Meanie.

Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Circling to start until Tajiri just blasts him with a superkick. Another kick sends Mikey off the apron for a crash into the barricade but Tajiri doesn’t know how to use a ring wrench. Instead Mikey takes over with a slingshot legdrop, only to get kicked in the face again. An inverted tornado DDT sets up an Octopus to make Mikey tap.

Rating: C. They kept this moving but I’m not sure what the point is in squashing Mike, who is doing stuff backstage to set up his new character. Tajiri can beat up anyone else to set up this big heel push but at least it was a good match with Mikey being able to work well with anyone. Tajiri wasn’t really a heel here though and that makes the turn a bit questionable so far.

Francine teases flashing us but it turns into Justin Credible talking about Sunday’s match against Tommy Dreamer.

Here are Simon and Swinger and their wacky band of misfits (great examples of people who could be let go to cut some costs) with something to say. They’re sick and tired of being a comedy act but here’s CW Anderson to get in Simon’s face. Anderson cleans house and even punches the Prodigette in the face. The Problem Solver lays out the Prodigy as the misfits seem to be gone as Anderson has joined Simon and Swinger.

CW issues an open challenge for a tag match, quick is quickly answered by Danny Doring and Roadkill. The numbers game gets the better of them but…..my goodness Bobby Eaton of all people comes out for the real save. Eaton is eventually superkicked down and the new alliance stands tall.

We run down the top of Sunday’s card.

Anderson, Swinger and Simon make jokes about Doring and Roadkill. A six man is announced with Doring and Roadkill plus Kid Kash fighting the trio.

Steve Corino/??? vs. Jerry Lynn/???

Another dream partner tag match with Corino picking Rhino and Lynn picking….well we’ll get to that in a second as Lynn gets Gored before anyone can come out. Jerry reaches over to the towel he brought in and pulls out a beer. Well that’s good for Jerry as he just happened to pick the guy Corino’s mystery partner was feuding with.

Sandman hits the ring and immediately eats a superkick from Corino. Well so much for that one. Everything heads outside with Lynn diving onto Corino despite there being almost no space between the ring and the barricade. Rhino and Sandman fight in the ring as Jerry blasts Corino in the head with a chair. All four get back inside for more brawling as they might as well have just had this be a brawl. I don’t know why they refer to this as a tag match as I don’t remember the last time there were actual tags in an ECW match.

Rhino piledrives Lynn for two, followed by a White Russian legsweep to give Sandman the same. Cyrus comes in to break up the cradle piledriver and Corino elbows Lynn through a table at ringside. This brings in Little Spike Dudley to play Bubba in a 3D to give Sandman the pin on Rhino.

Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I know this is the ECW standard but that doesn’t mean it holds up or is anything that I’d want to see again. The ending does help set up Sunday’s title match and I guess helps with Lynn vs. Corino but there was no better way than having this mess? I’m just not a fan of these things and they really show how horrible Sandman is at “wrestling”.

A long pay per view ad takes us out.

Overall Rating: D+. This was another example of ECW being all over the place with a few matches being added to Sunday’s show. That helps a few things but doesn’t make this the best use of less than forty one minutes I’ve ever seen. Heat Wave really needs to change some things up for the sake of keeping the show fresh, but I have a feeling we won’t exactly be seeing that on Sunday.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6