Thunder
Date: March 21, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

We’ve arrived at the final shows. We’ll start off the final episode of the corporate mandate that was Thunder, which has somehow gotten even less important over the years. The big story coming out of Monday is Ric Flair’s face being pressed onto the back of a donkey and the upcoming Night of Champions on Monday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Monday and most of the major stories. I’m still curious about who was attacking the Magnificent Seven. For some reason this recap starts with Dusty vs. Flair, goes to Booker vs. Steiner being announced and goes back to Dusty vs. Flair.

Air Raid vs. Jung Dragons

That would be Air Paris/AJ (now Air) Styles, now in matching G-Suits on the way to the ring. Yang and Styles get things going and hit the mat almost immediately with Yang getting two off a rollup. A headscissors gets Styles out of what looked like a Tombstone and it’s Paris sneaking in for a superkick. Everything breaks down for a few seconds before Styles hits the yet to be named Styles Clash (very little reaction from the announcers) for two on Kaz.

Yang comes back in and knocks AJ out to the floor but Raid double teams Yang down to take over for the first time. It’s off to Paris for a double faceplant, only to have Yang hit a running Liger Bomb out of the corner for two. The tag brings in Kaz to clean house with some martial arts but he walks into a Burning Hammer of all things from Paris. Styles dives into a dropkick but he gets up to counter Yang Time.

Air Raid loads up what looked like a superbomb/neckbreaker combo. Well for all I know they might have broken down into a Charleston dance off as the camera cut to the crowd so I’m assuming a botch. Something like an H Bomb gets two on Kaz with Yang making the save. Kaz gets back up and loads up something like Sister Abigail but jumps forward for something like a reverse bulldog for the pin on Styles.

Rating: C+. This was fun while it lasted and a good way for these four to go out. The Dragons went from a pretty generic high flying Japanese team to a downright above average high flying Japanese team. Styles is another name on the list of stars that WCW had though a few matches in a low level tag team aren’t really enough to blame WCW for screwing up again.

We recap the Rhodes Family beating Jeff Jarrett/Ric Flair on Sunday.

Here’s Dustin Rhodes with a bag of goodies and something to say. We see the clip of Flair and the donkey again so Dustin pulls out a game of Pin the Flair on the Jackass. To go with it: mouthwash, chapstick, and a hotel key for Flair and the donkey in case the idea wasn’t clear enough yet. Cue Flair to the screen to make Dustin vs. Jarrett/Scott Steiner for later tonight. Flair rants a lot so Dustin holds up the Horsemen sign but says it means to kiss the donkey again (Four words: Kiss My Daddy’s….)

Jason Jett vs. Cash

That would be Kid Kash. They trade arm holds to start and then flip each other around a bit with Jett being set out to the floor. A good looking slingshot hurricanrana has Jason in trouble but he dropkicks Cash out of the air to take over. Thankfully the announcers stop previewing Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Shawn Stasiak to talk about this match.

Kash sends him outside for a big flip dive off the top and an ECW chant. Back in and a double clothesline (with Kash coming off the middle rope and Jeff flipping into his) puts both of them down. Jett grabs a reverse kneeling piledriver but Kash runs the corner for a bad looking hurricanrana. The Crash Landing is broken up and the Moneymaker (double underhook lifting piledriver) gets two. Jett pops right back up and hits the Crash Landing for the pin.

Rating: C-. And so ends the Jason Jett story. There was potential but he was a far cry from what people like Guerrero and Helms were doing at the time. It could have gone somewhere with more time but alas Jett was another victim of the curse that was WCW going out of business for not knowing how to push people like Jason Jett. Among many other reasons of course.

Flair tries to calm Rick Steiner down after the team accused him of being the attacker.

Cat gives M.I. Smooth a pep talk.

The Cat/M.I. Smooth vs. Animal/Kanyon

Cat kicks Kanyon to start and drives some right hands into his head for good measure. It’s off to Smooth vs. Animal for the power brawl with Animal no selling a clothesline. Smooth no sells a clothesline though and it’s off to Cat, who walks right into a powerslam. A powerbomb out of the corner allows the tag off to Kanyon for some elbows, followed by a swinging neckbreaker.

Animal grabs a neck crank before handing it off to Kanyon for a chinlock. Kanyon’s middle rope Fameasser is countered with a powerbomb out of the corner but Animal breaks up the dancing elbow. Smooth comes in and cleans house on Kanyon as Cat kicks Animal on the floor. A trip puts Kanyon down and a splash gives Smooth the pin.

Rating: D+. Well at least Animal didn’t get the pin. Of all the things WCW did in its final months, hiring Animal is one of the most annoying. It’s such a WCW standard: bring in some name from the past that people don’t care about without his partner when you have people on the roster who could fill the role just as well. I’m sure Animal’s brother booking the show has nothing to do with it.

Rick Steiner vs. Hugh Morrus

Morrus has Konnan with him. As is so often the case in Rick matches, they’re on the floor in about thirty seconds with Steiner no selling Morrus’ offense. Hugh clotheslines the post by mistake so Rick throws him inside for an Angle Slam of all things. The cover only gets two as Rick has to yell at some fans. Well at least he’s doing something right. Rick’s bulldog gets two with Morrus getting his foot on the ropes.

That earns him a Steiner Line but Morrus comes back with a spinwheel kick. Steiner kicks him low (referee is fine with it) and gets in a chair shot (no complaints from the referee). He loads up some Pillmanizing (this referee is incompetent) but calls out Shane Douglas. Shane comes out for the brawl (HOW IS NONE OF THIS A DQ???) and hits Rick in the head with his cast, knocking him into a German suplex to give Morrus the pin.

Rating: D. Even on the final show Rick Steiner can’t pick things up a little bit? I’m assuming this was designed to set up Rick vs. Shane on Nitro (How appropriate: a Walking Dead match on the final Nitro.) or at some point in the future so I’ll actually give them some credit for trying to have some more angles for beyond Monday in case they were around.

Post match Douglas hands Dave Penzer a video. Shouldn’t he hand that to the production truck?

After a break, the tape shows Douglas challenging Steiner to a fight on Nitro. Was there a reason he just didn’t do this live on the mic?

Kid Romeo/Elix Skipper/Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Rey Mysterio/Kidman/Shane Helms

Kidman and Chavo start things off but Guerrero goes after Shane on the apron, allowing Kidman to grab a neckbreaker. Shane comes in for a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but a Skipper distraction lets Chavo take over. It’s off to Romeo for some dancing until Shane kicks him in the face. A Samoan drop into a springboard legdrop keeps Romeo in trouble until Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron and comes in to take over.

Everyone heads outside for the series of dives in a nice sequence. Back in and Skipper plants Rey with a dragon suplex before handing it off to Chavo without bothering to cover. A Gory Bomb gets two for Chavo but Rey gets in a running DDT to drop Romeo. Kidman’s top rope elbow gets another two as everything breaks down. Chavo saves Romeo from the Vertebreaker so it’s the Kid Crusher to put Romeo away.

Rating: C+. One more good cruiserweight six man to go out on. I’m always a fan of combining two feuds into one match and they did fine here, especially with a challenger pinning a champion (fine as it was a six man and not a regular tag) to wrap it up. There isn’t much to say here but it was exactly what you would expect from these six.

Rick still isn’t happy. Was he ever?

Chuck Palumbo tells Lance Storm to stay out of this match.

Mike Awesome vs. Chuck Palumbo

They’re all alone here as Chuck starts off with that good right hand of his. Mike sends him outside and hits a great looking springboard clothesline, followed by a slingshot splash for two back inside. A camel clutch doesn’t go anywhere so Mike sends him outside again with Chuck’s knees going into the steps. Chuck takes a chair away and blasts Awesome in the back but can’t manage to jump over him in the corner. Not that it matters as Mike drops him anyway, making the whole thing look bad.

With the wrestling not working they head outside for the third time with Mike being whipped into the barricade. Awesome comes back in with a top rope shoulder but takes WAY too long setting up the Awesome Splash, allowing Palumbo to roll away just in time. Cue Storm and O’Haire to fight at ringside, leaving Palumbo to hit the Jungle Kick for the pin.

Rating: C. I like these guys and it’s nice to see them getting a push near the end. O’Haire was the star of the team but Palumbo was good enough to keep a job in WWE for years and have a nice little career of his own. It was certainly bigger than any other Thrillers after leaving WCW, which was probably quite the surprise.

Dustin Rhodes vs. Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett

Before the match, Jeff says Booker will be dead after this match, just like his daddy’s career. We go to a break before Dustin’s entrance and come back with Animal finding Flair laid out in the back. Dustin hammers on Jeff in the corner to start but Scott’s distraction lets Jeff escape the Dust Buster. So why didn’t he just climb out on his own earlier? Scott ties Dustin in the Tree of Woe for a bit before Jeff crotches himself on the ropes. The bulldog gets two on Jeff but a pipe shot to the back sets up the Recliner for the quick submission.

Rating: D. What a perfect way for Thunder to go out: heels winning a fairly short, meaningless handicap match with an old face that doesn’t get much of a response from the crowd. Dustin didn’t do anything wrong in this run but time has shown that people don’t really care about Dustin Rhodes on his own. He’s just a guy in trunks who has done an above average job of separating himself from his famous father. That’s commendable, but it’s not that interesting. Goldust is someone people care about while Rhodes is just there and that’s a common problem in wrestling.

Booker comes out for the save and says he’s taking the title.

A group shot of the Thunder production crew ends the show.

Overall Rating: C. This felt more like any given episode of Thunder, which really isn’t surprising given how little Thunder meant. The cruiserweights were good (shocking) and the main event didn’t mean anything so it was all business as usual. Most of this stuff doesn’t matter anyway as Monday is a special show but it was nice to see at least some effort as they close it out.

So that’s Thunder. It’s no secret that the show wasn’t WCW’s idea and only existed because Turner Sports told them to put on a second show. For once you actually can’t pin this one on WCW but it’s not like they did much to help themselves. Looking back at Thunder, in all 147 episodes, I didn’t rate anything, be it match or show overall, higher than a B. In three years and three months, you would think they would somehow have something that high but nothing ever broke that barrier.

Over 147 episodes, a grand total of five received an overall rating higher than a C+. Five. As in less than twice a year this show delivered what I would consider to be a strong episode. In those same 147 episodes, I rated a total of thirty three matches above a C+. Of those thirty three, nine didn’t involve the cruiserweights. Think about that for a minute.

In almost three and a half years, a weekly wrestling show produced nine heavyweight matches that were better than slightly above average. Shockingly enough, every single one of those nine matches involved Chris Benoit, Booker T., Raven or Diamond Dallas Page. So in reality, those four and the cruiserweights were the only people delivering good matches on this show and even they weren’t doing it on a regular basis.

If you want to know why Thunder was such a nothing show, that’s where you start: on a show that had let’s say 900 matches (147 shows at six matches a show would be 882 so we’ll round up a bit), about three percent of the matches were even a little bit above average and nothing would be considered great. At some point, you need to offer something that makes people stick around. Wrestling that is just ok with a bunch of older names having horrible matches to close the shows aren’t going to do it.

Thunder just wasn’t a very good show and much like Smackdown in recent years, you almost never needed to watch it because almost nothing ever happened there. Let’s do a quick comparison with Monday Nitro regarding title changes and look at how many times each title changed hands from the time Thunder debuted until the end of the promotion (not counting the title being vacated):

World Title:

Nitro – 15, Thunder – 4 (Two of which were Kevin Nash awarding himself the title and losing it in the same night, a third being David Arquette and the final one being Nash winning the title, only to give it to Flair the following week on Nitro.). Now to be fair, maybe the bigger problem is that there are nineteen World Title changes on TV alone in just over less than three and a half years.

TV Title:

Nitro – 5, Thunder – 1

United States Title:

Nitro – 15, Thunder – 1

Tag Team Titles:

Nitro – 14, Thunder – 5 (Two of which were on a single show)

Cruiserweight Title:

Nitro – 11, Thunder – 5

Hardcore Title:

Nitro – 9, Thunder – 4

In total, that’s 69 for Nitro and 21 for Thunder. (Again, part of the problem is having ninety title changes on TV in twenty one months. By comparison, in the history of Monday Night Raw, there have been 259 title changes in the history of Monday Night Raw. WCW had more than one third the number of title changes on two TV shows in less than three and a half years than the biggest wrestling show of all time has had in over twenty three years spread over thirteen championships).

That’s the grand summary of why Thunder didn’t work: average at best wrestling most of the time, few major events and a bunch of horrible main events featuring either old wrestlers far past their primes or low level stars in matches people didn’t want to see. Thunder was a horrible idea from the beginning and never got any better. Monday Nitro going away was a major story. Thunder going away was a reminder that Thunder was a show that existed.

Oh and there’s this still active website:

http://cgi.superstation.com/sports/thunder/index.htm

I know TBS saw WCW as a long term investment but this is a bit much.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Ring of Honor
Date: August 10, 2016
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 850
Commentators: Nigel McGuinness, Kevin Kelly

We’re on to another taping cycle here and we only have two weeks before Death Before Dishonor. It’s a big show this week though as we have Colt Cabana getting his ROH World Title shot against the now bald Jay Lethal. This should make for an interesting match as it’s almost guaranteed to be a way to set up Adam Cole as the next challenger. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Bullet Club shaving Lethal’s hair and see Jay freaking out in a mirror. Good visual there actually.

Opening sequence.

Will Ferrara vs. Jay White

White is, say it with me, from New Japan. Well at least from their Dojo. For some reason this is treated like his debut even though he was on ROH a few weeks back. White grabs a wristlock to start but Will gets up for a stalemate. A middle rope hurricanrana gets two for Ferrara but White starts twisting his wrist around to take over. Ferrara sends him outside though and a suicide dive takes us to a break. Back with Ferrara hitting a bouncing DDT but getting caught with a missile dropkick for another near fall. A loud dropkick and spinning Rock Bottom get two for White, followed by the Kiwi Crusher for the pin at 9:26.

Rating: C. This was fine as White is someone who needs ring time and some wins that go somewhere to set him up as something important. That’s all well and good but I really don’t need someone else toiling in Ring of Honor until they can go back to New Japan for their real career. White isn’t bad though and that’s a good sign, especially if he sticks around for awhile.

Katsuyori Shibata vs. Silas Young at Death Before Dishonor. That would be the latest New Japan vs. ROH match with no story announced for the pay per view because they don’t have time to set up ROH vs. ROH matches because they’re too busy doing New Japan vs. ROH matches. It’s a vicious cycle.

We look back at Mark Briscoe beating ACH to become #1 contender for the TV Title.

Here’s Mark Briscoe to be in the Fish Tank. Before Bobby Fish comes out, Mark talks about learning the inner workings of the Fish Tank. It’s Bobby Fish subliminally trying to infiltrate his brain. Fish was about to come out but Mark told the music man to play the Briscoes’ music instead. Therefore, this is now THE CHICKEN SHACK with first guest Bobby Fish! Or maybe Chris Jericho since this is screaming Ambrose Asylum/Highlight Reel.

Fish comes out in a suit and Mark approves of the clothing. Mark asks if Fish prefers chicken or fish on his flights but Bobby doesn’t eat airplane food. Question #2: “Is it true that the last time you were in Las Vegas you married an Ethiopian midget?” Fish says no comment because what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. That brings Mark to the next time Fish is going to Las Vegas which will be at Death Before Dishonor.

Fish says there is no way he’s losing the title but let’s say the impossible happens. If Mark wins the title, who will he be then? Fish knows the answer: Mark would be Jay Briscoe’s little brother holding his secondary title. See, if Mark wins the title, that title drops right back down the ladder. That’s enough for Mark who throws the chairs over but security breaks it up. Fish says Mark is looking at the champion, who will be leaving Las Vegas with the title. I really liked this segment and it made me want to see the match for the first time, which I didn’t expect.

The Addiction is ready to take care of the Motor City Machine Guns.

ROH World Title: Colt Cabana vs. Jay Lethal

Lethal is defending in a rematch after Adam Cole and the Young Bucks interfered last time. Feeling out process to start as they have a lot of time to work with here, save for an angle at the end that is. Lethal is sent outside in frustration and Cabana is nice enough to hold the ropes open for the champ.

Back in and Lethal dropkicks him outside to earn a nice face chant. Lethal holds the ropes open for Cabana and the fans are getting into the idea here. Back in again and we get some very obvious spot calling with Cabana hitting another dropkick to put Jay on the floor. They quickly switch places so Jay can hit back to back to back suicide dives and the fans are WAY into Lethal here. I think we can call that a successful face turn.

We come back from another break with Cabana charging into a boot in the corner and a slugout won by the challenger. Jay can’t get a rolling suplex but can counter the Billy Goat’s Curse. Instead Cabana hits a middle rope splash for two, only to get caught in the Lethal Combination. Hail To The King is countered into a crucifix but Jay comes back with the Lethal Injection for a near fall.

Cabana is smart enough to step to the side before Jay can try another Injection, only to catch Lethal with the Chicago Skyline (a fireman’s carry drop onto the turnbuckle) as we take another break. Back again with Cabana hitting a jumping hip attack to block the Lethal Injection for a very close two. That would have been better without the commercial right before. Another Injection doesn’t work so Lethal hits a cutter and now the Injection connects to retain the title at 14:12.

Rating: B. I liked this way more than I was expecting to and I was genuinely surprised that they went with a clean finish here. That’s a good thing though as they needed to write Cabana off as a challenger instead of letting that hang over Lethal’s title reign again. I don’t think anyone was expecting Cabana to win the title in the first place but at least they had a good match to blow it off. Lethal really works as a face too, which is kind of a surprise.

Post match Jay asks Nigel McGuinness to get in the ring. Normally Lethal would be saying there’s no one left but there’s one man left. He wants Adam Cole at Death Before Dishonor because he can’t stand by while the Bullet Club takes over. I’m not sure how they’re taking over but that’s what we’re going with. At least it’s not the Beat Down Clan. Nigel says no because there are more worthy challengers.

Cue Cole to say no one is buying this. Cole says nothing should be holding him back from being World Champion again. Unless Jay defends the title again him, that title reign means nothing. Cole calls Lethal a rather rude name and Jay snaps, basically demanding a title match. The demand and the cheering from the crowd forces Nigel to officially make the match, only about two weeks after it was announced on ROH’s website. Cole (with the skinniest arms of a main eventer I’ve seen in years) smiles and leaves to end the show.

Overall Rating: A. Maybe it’s that I watched the Urban Wrestling Federation show before this but this was the best ROH show I can remember seeing in probably six months. The opener was fine, the main event was really good, and the two promos to set up/build pay per view matches were awesome. Nothing on this show didn’t work and I had a really good time with it. Well done indeed ROH and I’m fairly shocked to say that these days.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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http://www.pwtorch.com/site/2016/08/12/breaking-tna-announces-major-executive-shake-corgan-carter/

Maybe this changes things but given that it’s TNA, I’ll need to see something before I buy into the hype.  Corgan at least has money, but I continue to wonder how much is going to be pumped into TNA before the investors give up because they’re drawing 350,000 people in a great week.

Summerslam 2007
Date: August 27, 2007
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,441
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Joey Styles, Taz

It’s still an awkward period for the company as there isn’t much going on and they’re sort of just going through the motions. The big things tonight are the rise of Randy Orton and the return of HHH to face King Booker in the Game’s first match since December. Other than that there’s nothing noteworthy on the show. It’s just such a dull time for the company and it shows in their major events. Let’s get to it.

The opening video comes off like a long TV show intro. Mysterio is back tonight and Batista gets another world title shot. The main event is covered a bit as well and they get ready to throw it to the arena but the video is hijacked by a $6 Million Man bit about rebuilding HHH. He’s already hijacking things.

Kane vs. Finlay

Kane has banged up ribs due to a recent attack by Finlay. Apparently Finlay knocked some coffee onto Kane and didn’t apologize. I’ve heard worse reasons for a brawl. Kane starts fast and uppercuts Finlay down in the corner and drops him with a back elbow to the jaw. The ribs are already bothering the big bald but he pops Finlay in the chin with more uppercuts. Finlay gets a boot up in the corner but Kane pops him with a right hand so hard it sends him to the floor.

Back in and Finlay gets in a shot to the bad ribs to knock Kane to the outside. A backsplash to the bad ribs is good for two and Finlay puts on a half crab. This has been very physical so far. Kane finally powers up and hits an enziguri to escape. A big boot drops Finlay and some clotheslines in the corner stagger him. Kane hits a one armed side slam which is a bit of a stretch given the rib injuries. JBL is doing a great job on commentary here, talking about how a rib injury affects how you move in the ring.

The top rope clothesline connects but he can’t follow up. Kane misses a charge in the corner and gets dropped by a clothesline. Cue Hornswoggle who runs from Kane, allowing the big man to hit a big boot on Finlay. Horny is thrown back inside but shoved down. Kane tries the chokeslam on Finlay but the ribs give out, allowing Finlay to hit a DDT for two. In a classic heel move, Finlay goes to unhook the buckle and uses the distraction to go for his club but the referee catches him. Horny throws in another club but Kane kicks out at two. Finlay misses a charge into the corner and the chokeslam is good for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s probably high but I was really liking this match. It was a good choice for an opener with both guys working hard and pounding on each other with some solid force. The fans were into it too and popped quite well for almost everything in there. Kane sold the ribs well and the fans liked his comeback. Nice choice for an opener here.

All the GM’s are in the back at a party when Vince comes in and wants to know why there are no women here. That’s a good question actually. Vince says the mother of his illegitimate son will be here tonight. Santino comes in and suggests he’s the illegitimate son but Regal yells him away. MVP comes in as well to complain about Teddy Long and issue an open challenge to Matt Hardy for anything other than a wrestling match. He leaves and Regal suggests that he himself is the son. Now Regal leaves and Coach suggests it might be Regal, but Vince apparently doesn’t like English women.

Rey Mysterio is coming back! Tonight! Why did we need a promo for this?

Intercontinental Title: Mr. Kennedy vs. Carlito vs. Umaga

No real story here other than Umaga is defending and these two are at the Intercontinental level. Kennedy tries to negotiate and gets punched in the face by Umaga. Carlito loads up the apple but gets punched as well, giving the champion complete control so far. The challengers fall out to the floor and finally start going after Umaga at the same time, though it has the same result. Carlito gets in a cheap shot from behind to send Umaga to the floor and Kennedy rams the champion into the steps.

Back in and Carlito gets two off a rollup but gets caught using the ropes. Everyone in this is either a heel or close enough to call them one. Carlito hits a springboard back elbow to the jaw for two on Kennedy but gets caught in a Stroke for no cover. Instead Kennedy goes after Umaga but gets pulled to the floor instead of getting in a cheap shot. Umaga hits a middle rope headbutt on Carlito but Kennedy saves Carlito from a charging Samoan.

Carlito knocks Kennedy to the floor and gets two on the champion before asking for an alliance with Kennedy. The champion won’t be double suplexed but easily hits one on the other guys. Umaga is back up first to clean house and a spinning Rock Bottom gets two on Kennedy. A superkick puts Carlito in the corner and a running hip attack crushes him again. Kennedy sends Umaga to the floor and hits a rolling senton on Carlito, only to have Umaga come back in with the Samoan Spike on Kennedy for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t bad but this could have been on any given episode of Raw. Umaga was fine for a monster and would soon be slain by Jeff Hardy. Kennedy was supposed to be in a huge story coming up but a Wellness violation derailed those plans. As for Carlito…..there’s just nothing interesting to say about him. He exists and that’s about it.

Undertaker is coming back. Again. Seriously there’s at least a five hour DVD of just his returns.

We recap Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero. This time it’s a more standard story: Chavo is jealous of Rey’s success and injured Rey’s knee, setting up this match for revenge. Chavo even dressed up as Rey and wrestled a match to destroy a jobber’s knee.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

For some reason Rey’s torso is covered in silver paint. The fans are all over Chavo to start as you would expect. The heel goes right after the knee of course but Rey slips away before the damage can be done. They do the gymnastics routine out of a test of strength as the fans chant for Eddie. Rey’s paint is already coming off, making him look really stupid. Chavo tries to bend the knee around the ropes but is sent to the floor for a big dive from Mysterio.

Back in and Rey goes up but gets caught in the Tree of Woe which is similar to what hurt his knee in the first place. Guerrero goes right for the knee and asks him if he quits. Off to the Brock Lock (Chavo bends the knee around his neck) but Rey counters into a headscissors. Chavo stays on him though and hooks another leg lock until Rey FINALLY gets out with a kick to the head.

He tries for 619 but the leg gives out, allowing Chavo to put on a half crab. Mysterio finally gets to the ropes but the knee is still too hurt to follow up. This time it’s Chavo going up but getting pulled down into the Tree of Woe so Rey can go after the knee. The paint is entirely off Rey’s chest now, making it look like he’s been fixing up his house.

Rey hits a seated senton off the apron before hitting a hard kick to the head for two. Chavo catches a springboard moonsault press but gets countered into a tornado DDT for two. Chavo comes right back with a Gory Bomb for two followed by two of the Three Amigos. Rey spins out of the third and takes Chavo into the ropes for the 619 and the springboard splash for the pin.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but at the end of the day there was no doubt that Rey was winning at all. It wasn’t boring but I liked last year’s action more. The story this year was better, but the paint and the obvious ending didn’t do it any favors. Chavo doesn’t work that well as a heel whatsoever.

King Booker says he’ll beat HHH tonight. That’s hilarious.

Divas Battle Royal

Beth Phoeix, Torrie Wilson, Victoria, Layla, Brooke, Kelly Kelly, Kristal Marshall, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Jillian Hall, Melina, Maria

The winner gets a title shot at Candace Michelle at some point in the future and you don’t have to go over the top rope. It’s a Divas battle royal so you know this is going to come down to about three people as potential winners. It’s a huge brawl to start with Brooke (Miss Tessmacher) being sent out early. Jillian Hall eliminates Maria and those great little shorts of hers. Layla, who looks much better with curly hair, is out and the loud screaming continues.

Kristal actually knocks Victoria out and Michelle puts Kristal out a few seconds later. Kelly is thrown out and Mickie helps Michelle eliminate Jillian. Melina dumps Mickie and we’re down to Torrie, Melina, McCool and Phoenix. Melina screams a lot and takes Torrie down but gets clotheslined out by Michelle. Torrie and McCool go after Beth but Wilson is quickly tossed. Beth easily tosses for the win.

Rating: D. There’s just NOTHING to talk about in these things. It’s all about the girls looking good and while that worked, it doesn’t make for an interesting eight minutes of “action.” Beth would go on to dominate the division for several years as the wrestling was phased out in favor of models who MIGHT wrestle a match here or there. Then they brought in a second belt for some reason that didn’t work. Less than nothing of value here, other than looks.

Here’s MVP for his challenge to Matt Hardy as Beth’s music is still playing. He says no one bought a ticket to see the girls (likely true) so here’s the US Champion to entertain you. MVP talks about growing up drinking beer but now he drinks the finer beverages. Tonight though, he’s lowering himself to challenge Matt to a beer drinking contest. This was the latest in a LONG series of challenges before these guys actually had a match. It went on for over six months before Matt actually won the title at Backlash. They would even win the Smackdown Tag Titles in a few days.

Anyway Matt comes out for the contest and sounds drunk before the first can is opened. Matt says MVP isn’t better than anyone and is proud to be a common man. He knows he can out drink MVP, but tonight he isn’t going to try. A few weeks back MVP brought in a substitute for a boxing match against Hardy: former world champion Evander Holyfield.

The fans immediately get what’s going on and here’s Austin to drink for Matt instead. Gee good thing he was in the building and Matt knew it would be a beer drinking contest. Cole says this is fair. JBL: “THIS IS NOT FAIR! EVANDER HOLYFIELD IS JUST EVANDER HOLYFIELD!!! THAT IS FREAKING STONE COLD!” Austin does warmups before the contest and Stuns MVP before they drink the first beer. It’s hard to argue with these nostalgia moments as the fans went NUTS for Austin.

Wrestlemania 24 is in Orlando.

Cryme Tyme comes in to see the GM’s and Vince and suggest they might be Vince’s son. They start talking about that money money yeah yeah and since this is WWE, it turns into a dance off with Regal stealing the show as always. Cue Ron Simmons for the obvious punchline.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Morrison is defending, having taken the title from Punk at Vengeance in what was supposed to be Benoit winning the title. John is freshly changed over from Johnny Nitro so he’s still rocking the poetry. Punk takes him down by the legs to start but John has him in a chinlock a few seconds later. They trade hiptosses until Punk slams him down to take over. Punk dropkicks Morrison down onto the apron but John blocks a suplex back in with a neckbreaker onto the apron.

Morrison pounds away at Punk and puts on something vaguely resembling a Tazmission. A knee to the ribs gets two and it’s back to the chinlock. Back up and Punk misses the backfist but gets two off a rolling sunset flip out of the corner. A spinning cross body out of the corner gets the same and there’s the running knee I the corner. The bulldog, of course, doesn’t work but a powerslam gets another near fall for Punk.

Morrison comes right back with a backbreaker and neckbreaker for two but CM counters the flip neckbreaker (Morrison’s finisher) into a clothesline. A moonsault of all things gets two for Punk and he crotches John on the top rope. Punk clotheslines him down for two and a high kick has Morrison in trouble, but he manages to block a middle rope hurricanrana and put his feet on the ropes to retain.

Rating: C. Again this match could have been on any given episode of ECW on Sci-Fi, which is exactly where it was when Punk won the title nine days later. Why they didn’t just do that here is anyone’s guess, but I don’t think anyone really gave much thought to what was going on with ECW anyway. The match was pretty good but it needed more than seven minutes.

We recap HHH vs. Booker, which doesn’t have much of a story to it. King Booker was going after Lawler and Ross for not respecting him enough and HHH, noted defender of the little guy, is coming back to defend their honor. The hook is King vs. King but in other words, HHH is returning from injury and we need to feed him someone with some credibility.

HHH vs. King Booker

HHH’s return is of course over the top and not as good as the one in 2002. Booker gets in a cheap shot to start but HHH comes back with right hands. A clothesline puts Booker on the floor and a second clothesline does the same. Back in and Booker gets in some forearms but walks into the facebuster for two. Queen Sharmell finally helps her man out and Booker goes after the injured leg.

HHH counters a slam and takes out Booker’s leg before putting on a Figure Four. Sharmell interferes again to break the hold and a quick kick to the face gets two for Booker. Back up and they slug it out with HHH taking over by sending Booker to the floor. HHH whips Booker into the steps and gets caught in a spinebuster back inside for two. The Pedigree is escaped and the Book End gets two. The Houston Hangover misses though and the Pedigree is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. One former world champion squashed, dozens to go. HHH is back and the match was never in doubt at all. The match wasn’t even eight minutes long and yet again Booker looks like a goon against HHH, albeit with roles reversed from Wrestlemania XIX. Nothing to see here and HHH didn’t look like anything great.

We recap Batista vs. Khali but there isn’t much to say. Khali won the title in a battle royal due to Edge being injured. Batista challenged him to try to slay the beast. Khali is using a vice grip around this time.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Khali immediately takes him into the corner and chops him down. Some elbows to the head put Batista down again and there’s a hard clothesline for good measure. All champion so far. Batista falls down to the floor and gets back in for the big chop for two. Big Dave is sent shoulder first into the corner and there’s a nerve hold to really keep up the suck. The hold stays on for over a minute and a half, drawing a boring chant.

Batista finally hits a jawbreaker but Khali chops him down for two. Cole even acknowledges the boring chant. Batista blocks the vice grip to finally wake the crowd up a bit before hitting a spinebuster. The champion escapes the Batista Bomb and catches him coming off the middle rope in the Punjabi Plunge for two. Then to really screw over the fans, Khali’s manager sends in a chair and Khali whacks Batista for the DQ.

Rating: F. Oh come on. They’ve GOT to be screwing with us right? This wasn’t even seven minutes long and over a minute and a half of that was in a nerve hold. The fans were absolutely right in booing the match but the worse sign is they cheered for the comeback. It was clear they cared about Batista and wanted to see him win but the solution is to make them wait so Batista could win the title next month in a stupid three way.

Batista destroys Khali with the chair post match. Even JBL rips into Khali for such a lame ending.

Vince and Coach are wondering where the aforementioned woman is when Regal pops in to say she’s here. Say it with me: here are Mae and Moolah. Apparently Mae wants to give Vince another illegitimate son and you know what’s coming: Mae nearly molests Vince to death until Regal and Coach drag her off. Vince seems to like it. COMEDY!

We recap the main event. Cena has been champion for eleven months and Orton has been rising up the card as the legend killer. He was named #1 contender on Raw and spent the next several weeks RKOing Cena.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Randy Orton

They lock up to start with Cena taking over via a headlock. A hard shoulder puts Orton down and the fans aren’t pleased at all. Cena takes him down with a headlock takeover but Orton fights up quickly. Back up and Orton hits a shoulder and headlock takeover of his own to take over. The fans hate Cena as he tries to grab the STFU but Orton makes it to the rope and pops Cena in the face to a big reaction. Orton was a mega heel coming into this match so the fans cheering him is very bizarre.

Orton pounds away even more but Cena comes back with a bulldog for two. A forearm to the back of John’s head puts him right back down for two though and momentum shifts again. Cena tries a leapfrog but Orton stops on a dime and blasts him in the head instead. Randy knocks him from the apron onto the announce table as the head trauma continues. Back in and Orton takes Cena down with a chinlock as the champion is in trouble.

Randy even lays on his back to crank even more but Cena fights up again, countering with a belly to back suplex to put both guys down. Back up and Cena misses a charge, going head first into the buckle to shake up the head again. Orton stomps away on Cena including a hard shot to the back of the champ’s head. A knee drop misses Cena’s head but Orton takes him down with a powerslam for two.

Back to the chinlock for a bit before Orton snaps off a gorgeous dropkick for two. We hit chinlock #3 but this time the suplex is countered into a headlock takeover to keep Orton in control. Orton hooks a bodyscissors to go with the chinlock but John fights to his feet and powers out of the hold before initiating his finishing sequence. The ProtoBomb puts Orton down but the Shuffle is countered by Orton’s over the back backbreaker. Orton’s Elevated DDT (Cena’s feet hanging on the middle rope) gets a very close two count and Randy is getting a look in his eyes.

Orton’s RKO (jumping cutter) is countered but Cena charges at Randy, only to go sailing over the top and out to the floor. Randy rams him into the steps and Cena is in big trouble. Back in and Cena gets in a quick shot to stagger Orton but gets crotched as he goes up. A superplex is blocked though and Cena hits the top rope Fameasser, but Orton blocks the FU. A shot to the head puts Cena down again but his running punt to the head misses. There’s the STFU but Randy grabs the rope. Back up and the RKO takes Cena down for two. They get up again and the FU hits to retain Cena’s title.

Rating: B-. While this wasn’t the epic showdown they were hoping for, it definitely was a good fight. Orton going after Cena’s head and not worrying about the consequences for the sake of winning the title made him seem ruthless but Cena never giving up was exactly what you would expect from him. Good stuff here but not great.

Overall Rating: D+. The show isn’t bad but I’m looking for more out of Summerslam than this. Orton vs. Cena was the match of the night and that’s just ok. That’s the best way to sum up most of these matches: just ok. Only two matches crack nine minutes here and that’s just not enough time for a lot of them. The show isn’t worth seeing, but brighter days were ahead.

Ratings Comparison

Kane vs. Finlay

Original: C

Redo: B-

Carlito vs. Mr. Kennedy vs. Umaga

Original: C+

Redo: D+

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: B-

Redo: C-

Divas Battle Royal

Original: F

Redo: D

CM Punk vs. John Morrison

Original: B+

Redo: C

HHH vs. King Booker

Original: B-

Redo: D+

Great Khali vs. Batista

Original: D-

Redo: F

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: B

Redo: D+

DANG I liked this way too much the first time.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/10/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2007-hhh-is-back-again/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Summerslam 2006
Date: August 20, 2006
Location: TD Banknorth Garden, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 16,168
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, Tazz, Joey Styles, John Bradshaw Layfield

This is an interesting show as a lot has changed since last year but WWE is still in the same kind of situation: the shows are coming and going and not a lot is changing. The shows aren’t bad, but there’s nothing that feels like required viewing. This year we have DX vs. the McMahons, Edge defending the Raw Title against Cena, Batista challenging King Booker for the Smackdown Title, Flair vs. Foley in an I Quit match, Hogan vs. Randy Orton and the first ECW Title match in WWE PPV history. The card is stacked but nothing on here feels must see. Let’s get to it.

The opening video is about DX taking over the company with their sophomoric jokes. The other matches get some lip service as well.

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Guerrero claimed that Rey was leeching off the Guerrero name, which he totally was but Guerrero is still playing the heel here. We get videos on Eddie’s relationships with both Rey and Chavo, conveniently ignoring Rey vs. Eddie from last year. Apparently Chavo is coming out of retirement for one night only. The brawl is on fast and JBL is WAY into it already. Chavo hits a quick uppercut and catches a standing Lionsault into a powerslam position, only to have Rey armdrag him out to the floor.

Mysterio misses a plancha to the floor and Chavo hits a big dive of his own to take over. Chavo shouts that it’s his blood instead of Rey’s as JBL calls this the biggest comeback since the resurrection. Rey charges into the corner but Chavo drops him face first onto the buckle to put him down again. Chavo does the Eddie dance, drawing the crowd into the Eddie chant. The masked dude is knocked to the floor and then face first into the buckle to keep him on defense.

Chavo puts him on the top rope and tries to powerbomb Rey to the floor but Rey fights out to avoid death. They facejam each other down to the mat and both guys are in trouble. Back up and Rey gets two off a springboard cross body. A hard kick to the head gets the same for Rey before he hurricanranas Chavo into the 619. The seated senton misses and Mysterio hurricanranas both guys out to the floor.

Chavo takes control and sends Rey back in but here’s Vickie to yell at him. Rey dives off the apron with something the camera misses to take out Chavo and we head back inside. Chavo hits two of the Three Amigos as Vickie is screeching at them to stop fighting. Rey hits the Three Amigos and goes up top but Vickie keeps shouting at him to stop before accidentally crotching him down. Chavo hits a brainbuster and the frog splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was entertaining enough but the bleeding dry of Eddie’s corpse is well beyond old here. Seriously, they were fighting over who was really defending Eddie’s honor. It was fun stuff but the Vickie screeching is getting already getting annoying. She’s been around seven years. How is that possible?

Booker is holding the title with a maniacal look in his eyes. He rants in a British accent for a bit and says he and Sharmell are the most powerful couple in wrestling. This brings in Edge and Lita who just happened to be standing off camera when Booker said that. They debate how important they are and make a wager: if Booker loses he has to be Edge’s servant but if Edge loses he has to kiss Booker’s feet.

This is a good example of what I mean when I talk about the show looking too structured. Why were Edge and Lita right there to respond to those comments? It comes off as so fake and set up in advance that it kills whatever air of realism the show has. Have Booker say they’re the powerful couple, then have Edge and Lita come in later in the show. Same amount of time spent, same result, doesn’t look forced. Why is this so complicated?

ECW Title: Big Show vs. Sabu

Big Show is defending after Sabu beat Van Dam in a ladder match this past week. It’s extreme rules, which is a rarity for these title matches anymore. Sabu starts fast by swinging a chair and gets a quick one count off the Arabian Facebuster. The chair is set up in the middle of the ring but Big Show drops Sabu face first onto the steel. Big Show crushes the chair with his boot and chops Sabu down with ease.

We hit an early bearhug but Sabu pokes the eyes to escape. A springboard is caught in a fallaway slam from Big Show to send Sabu to the outside. The small one grabs a chair to blast Show in the face before dropkicking it into Show’s face. Sabu it too banged up to immediately cover so it’s only a one count. With nothing else working, Sabu loads up a table in the corner and hits a tornado DDT for no cover.

Sabu finally knocks him through the table off a springboard from the chair but Show pops up and electric chairs Sabu down. A Vader Bomb crushes Sabu and Show brings in two sets of steps. He bridges a table across them but his chokeslam is countered into a DDT through the table. Sabu sets up another table but charges into a chokeslam through it for the pin.

Rating: D. I don’t care. Seriously that’s the first thing that came to my head. This was less than nine minutes and the ending was never in double at all. At least a third of the match was spent setting up the next spot, especially near the end. The early days of WWECW with the old ECW guys were just torture to get through as it was clearly trying to recreate magic and it wasn’t anything of note. Dull match here and it would be several months before ECW picked up.

Layla won the Diva Search earlier this week.

The Divas welcome Layla to the company. These stupid girl power segments got old fast. Everyone gets on her and then say they’re all kidding. Layla is dragged into the shower and spanked for her initiation. Everyone is clothed so this goes nowhere.

We recap Hogan vs. Orton. Hogan is a legend, Orton is the legend killer, I think you can do the math. There was a stupid bit with Orton hitting on Brooke thrown in which went nowhere.

Randy Orton vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan has a bad leg coming in, meaning he’s perfectly normal. Hulk easily shoves Orton down out of lockup to start before running him down with a shoulder block. The bandana goes into Orton’s face before Randy grabs a headlock. Hogan fights out with a top wristlock as we’re still going very slowly so far, much to Hogan’s liking. Randy finally gets in some shots to the face to put Hogan down, thereby making him the biggest heel in the world.

Hogan fights Orton off in the corner and sends him into the buckle. Almost all Hogan so far which continues as Hogan pounds down right hands in the corner. He bites Randy’s forehead and pokes him in the eye to keep us firmly in the mid-80s. Hogan rakes his back and pounds away on the mat before threatening the referee with a right hand. Orton holds the ropes on an Irish whip and pulls Hogan to the mat to work on the knee.

Back in and Orton cannonballs down on the leg before doing a short form of the circle stomp. A chop block puts Hulk down again but he ducks/collapses to avoid a high cross body. Hogan pounds away but misses the big boot, allowing Orton to dropkick him down. The RKO connects for three but Hogan’s foot was on the ropes. Orton argues with the referee, Hulk Hulks Up and the legdrop ends it.

Rating: D. Well let’s see: the booking was out of the 80s, Hogan broke a sweat for maybe a minute, and Orton was pinned clean by a 50+ year old man in about eleven minutes. This is the opposite of last year with Shawn as Michaels didn’t have much to gain from a win. Orton on the other hand could have ridden this win for months, but instead we get Hogan’s last WWE match (which you couldn’t have known at the time) as a tribute to him, complete with the 1985 formula all over again. Not a fan of this but you had to know it was coming.

We look at a big party yesterday which is exactly what you would think it was. This was also the announcement for WWE 24/7, which was nowhere near as cool as it sounded.

Melina isn’t sure if Foley can beat Flair but he freaks out on her, saying he’ll do it. This was an awkward on screen relationship.

Ric Flair vs. Mick Foley

In something else that was kind of awkward, these two traded shots at each other in their books with Foley saying Flair wrestled the same match for years and Flair calling Foley a glorified stunt man. Tonight is an I Quit match and it’s all about respect. Foley jumps Flair in the corner and pounds away before hitting the running knee to the head. A running trashcan shot to the head has Flair in early trouble and it’s already Socko time. Flair won’t give up so Foley says he’ll suffer.

Foley wraps barbed wire around the sock but Flair grabs Mick’s crotch to block it. We’re not even two minutes into this and we’ve already had a crotch grab. A low blow puts Mick down and Flair wraps the barbed wire sock around his hand for some chops. Ric sends Foley knees first into the steps but Foley rams him into the announce table to get a breather. Foley pulls out a barbed wire board and blasts Flair in the back with it to make Naitch scream.

We head inside again and the fans want fire. Flair is busted open (duh) so Foley rubs the barbed wire over the cut for good measure. A barbed wire board to the head and the shoulder have Flair in even more trouble but he tells Foley to kiss something instead of quitting. Foley spreads out the thumbtacks and slams Ric down onto them in a scary looking but perfectly safe spot. Think about it: the tacks are what, half an inch long? All they’re going to go into is fat so while it’ll hurt, there’s no real danger to the spot. It’s like being stung by a bunch of bees.

Anyway Flair still won’t quit so Foley brings in the barbed wire ball bat to cut at Flair’s head even more. Flair hits his second low blow to escape before sending him shoulder first into the post. The ball bat to the shoulder has Foley in big trouble as Ric goes into old school brawler mode. Foley won’t quit so Flair threatens to kill him by cutting out his heart.

A third low blow has Foley on the apron, allowing for Ric to knock him off the apron and onto the concrete. Foley is apparently out cold so medics and Melina come out to check on him. The trainer says it’s over and the bell rings. That’s not good enough for Flair though and he sends Foley back in to rub the ball bat over Foley’s face again. He runs the barbed wire over Mick’s unconscious eyes and Melina throws in the towel to end it. Wait that’s STILL not good enough for Flair because Foley has to say it. Ric threatens Melina with the ball bat and Foley quits to save her.

Rating: B. This was one heck of a bloodbath until Melina had to get involved. I get that they didn’t want either guy to quit but dang man, did we really need Melina out there? Like I said it never was a good fit on screen and would end with Melina screwing over Foley for no apparent reason. Good match, but Flair flat out doesn’t need to be doing this at his age.

Vince, Shane and Armando Alejandro Estrada (Umaga’s manager) make fun of Foley until Vince asks if they have Umaga’s support tonight. Armando says si.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. King Booker

Booker is defending and Batista never lost the title, only being stripped due to injury. This is his first major match since December/January. Booker’s wife Sharmell reaches Vickie levels of annoying by saying ALL HAIL KING BOOKER about 18 times on the way to the ring. Feeling out process to start with Booker taking him into the corner and slapping him across the face. Batista easily shoves him across the ring to prove a point as things are starting slowly.

The champion grabs a headlock but completely misses a spin kick, allowing Batista to counter into a powerslam for two. Booker tries to bail with Sharmell but Batista doesn’t even let him get close. Back in and Booker blocks a Batista Bomb by snapping Batista’s neck across the ropes to take over. We hit a chinlock less than four minutes in and the fans aren’t pleased. Back up and Batista hits a sloppy belly to belly suplex for two but Sharmell sends in the scepter for a cheap shot, giving Booker more control.

Booker goes after the arm, which is the injury that kept Batista on the shelf for so long. That makes too much sense though so it’s off to a regular chinlock. Batista finally gets up and crotches Booker on the top before hitting some weak clotheslines. They head to the floor with Booker sending him into the barricade to take over. A missile dropkick gets two on Big Dave but the ax kick misses. Batista Jackhammers him down for two and busts out a full nelson slam of all things. He loads up the Batista Bomb and Sharmell comes in for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. Well at least it wasn’t that long. These two had horrible chemistry together so of course they had two more PPV matches until Batista finally took the title at Survivor Series. The ending sucked, the match sucked, Batista looked as slow as Hogan out there, and the fans were bored by the match. Sounds like it needs a sequel to me.

Post match Batista “destroys” Booker, which translates to him not being able to get him up for a Batista Bomb until Booker clearly pulls himself up. Again, this feud went on for three more months.

Jeff Hardy is coming back tomorrow. Why bother announcing it when you can have a big surprise like that?

DX talks to someone we can’t see. They tell him how much Vince praised Umaga, calling him the REAL monster in WWE. They leave and whoever was in there bangs on the door.

We recap DX vs. the McMahons. This feud started with Shawn vs. Vince but HBK recruited HHH to help him out. DX destroyed a bunch of Vince’s stuff and made fun of him, basically getting on the nerves of everyone over 17 years old. Vince and Shane brought in everyone imaginable to help them but DX dispatched them easily because they’re both Hall of Famers and they were fighting jobbers to the stars. Umaga was the only one who could beat them one on one, making those matches the only interesting parts of the entire feud.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Wrestlemania 23 is in Detroit.

We recap Edge vs. Cena. Edge won MITB last year at Wrestlemania and cashed in on Cena at New Year’s Revolution nine months later. After some title trading with Van Dam and Cena, Edge wound up with the belt on Raw, setting up the one on one showdown here tonight.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Edge

Cena is the hometown boy tonight. If Edge gets disqualified he loses the title. Cena charges him into the corner and the booing begins. John pounds away and gets one off a back elbow and a belly to belly suplex. Edge avoids a charge to send Cena shoulder first into the post and out to the floor. It’s kind of early for that spot. Back in and Edge beats on Cena with basic strikes before knocking him off the apron and into the barricade.

Cena makes it back in at nine but Edge immediately drops an elbow on his back for two more. John makes a comeback with right hands as the fans are booing even louder now. A quick fisherman’s suplex gets two on Edge but he sends Cena over the top and out to the floor for the third time. Back in again and Cena misses a cross body to put him down again. Why it puts Edge down as well isn’t clear.

We hit the chinlock for a good while until Cena breaks the hold with pure power. Cena hits a knee to the chest but walks into a big boot for two. Edge goes up top and fights off Cena so he can hit a top rope clothesline for two. Off to a camel clutch but Cena again powers out of it. Both guys are down so Lita sends in a chair. Edge picks it up before throwing it down out of fear in a cute bit. Cena initiates his finishing sequence but the FU is countered into the Impaler for two.

Edge goes up again but has to escape the FU off the ropes into an electric chair but Cena gets two off a victory roll. A middle rope cross body is rolled through into the FU but a Lita distraction makes Cena drop Edge. The champion is sent into his chick and Cena gets a close two off a rollup. A double clothesline puts both guys down until Edge rolls over for two.

The Canadian is up first but the spear is countered into the STFU. Lita tries to come in with the belt but Edge waves her off and gets the rope. The referee has to drag Cena off, allowing Lita to load up brass knuckles on Edge’s hand. Cena grabs the FU anyway but Lita comes in, only to be thrown on top of Edge in a double FU. How that isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but Cena flips her to the mat, allowing Edge to knock him out with the knuckles to retain the title.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but the ending was great. Edge winning is an interesting concept and they would go with the same idea next month when Cena beat Edge in Edge’s signature match in his hometown. The match wasn’t all that good though as it felt like they were just killing time until the end, which makes for a dull match.

Overall Rating: C. Right in the middle is about perfect here as there are almost equal amounts of good and bad. The interesting things about this show are the match lengths. Usually there are some very short matches and one or two longer ones. Here there’s only one match under nine minutes and the longest is the main event which isn’t even sixteen. That makes for a show where there’s nothing huge to save the bad stuff and everything is almost equal in length, meaning you can weigh almost everything the same. The show is definitely watchable but skip Booker vs. Batista.

Ratings Comparison

Rey Mysterio vs. Chavo Guerrero

Original: C+

Redo: C+

Big Show vs. Sabu

Original: C

Redo: D

Hulk Hogan vs. Randy Orton

Original: B

Redo: D

Mick Foley vs. Ric Flair

Original: B-

Redo: B

Batista vs. King Booker

Original: D

Redo: D

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. D-Generation X

Original: C-

Redo: B-

Edge vs. John Cena

Original: C+

Redo: B-

Overall Rating

Original: C+

Redo: C

Other than Hogan, not a lot changes here. This show pretty much is what it is.

Here’s the original review if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2011/08/09/history-of-summerslam-count-up-2006-hogan-and-dx-are-in-charge-are-we-in-1998/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 11, 2016
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero

It’s the start of a fresh taping cycle here and we have a big main event as Bobby Lashley and James Storm face off in a winner take all match for all three men’s singles titles. On top of that there’s a new name debuting tonight which could make things a bit more interesting around here. The name is pretty much confirmed but I’ll spare you the spoiler in case you haven’t see it yet. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event where Ethan Carter III beat Mike Bennett to advance to Bound For Glory.

We also hear from James Storm about not having a one on one World Title match in five years.

Here’s Ethan to open the shirt. Fans: “NEXT WORLD CHAMP!” Ethan: “Spoiler alert!” Carter talks about everything he’s done in TNA, including campaigning for a World Title shot. However, now he’s on a quest to be the best. Cue Lashley to say cut this off because it’s his show.

Lashley lists off all the people he’s better than but here’s James Storm to interrupt. Storm goes on about how Lashley is jumping the gun (with his mic sounding way off) and tells Lashley to come fight him right now. Lashley and Storm fight to the back but here are Bennett and Moose to go after Carter. It’s Eddie Edwards coming out for the save and the ring is cleared. Eddie wants to do their tag match right now.

Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III vs. Mike Bennett/Moose

The opening bell takes us to a break about fifteen seconds in. Back with Carter fighting out of trouble and making the tag off to Eddie. Bennett gets kicked in the ribs a few times but an elbow to the jaw allows the big tag to Moose. The power game starts fast with Eddie getting dropkicked off the top and out to the floor in a crash.

The villains take turns on Eddie until he rolls over for the hot tag to Ethan. Everything breaks down and Carter/Edwards hit stereo suicide dives for a nice visual. Back in and a top rope hurricanrana takes Moose down, only to have him pull Eddie off the top with a lifting powerbomb. That’s not enough for Bennett though as he makes a blind tag and pins Bennett at 11:14.

Rating: C-. Really lifeless match here as they were just went through the motions until the ending. Are they really teasing a split between Bennett and Moose? A pairing that’s only been together for all of a month now? Bennett really doesn’t need a bodyguard but I’m not sure if Moose is ready to be his own thing in TNA.

We look at Storm winning the TNA World Title five years ago. It’s taken him twenty years to get into the best shape of his life and he’s doing it for the people who have believed in him since day one.

Here’s the former Damien Sandow for his TNA debut under the name Aron Rex. He still holds the mic like a wine glass and says TNA is willing to let him talk on live TV. Aron isn’t here to talk about glass ceilings and brass rings because he’s out here to tell the truth. For those that used to employ him, don’t worry because this isn’t about him. This is about the paying customer (So not fans here at this show.) and the fans.

Some people have labeled him as too entertaining to compete for World Titles. No matter what any authority figure says, everyone in the ring works for the fans. Some people are chosen to receive opportunity after opportunity while there are others who seize opportunity when it’s on an even playing field.

Rex lists off some names that have proven that former WWE wrestlers can get a push around here. Given how the same four or five names dominated the TNA World Title over the years, TNA really doesn’t have room to brag about that. It’s gotten better in recent years but after so many years of Kurt Angle, Jeff Hardy and Sting, that’s a bit hard to take. His name is Aron Rex and he’s here in TNA. Rex got a great reaction and they’re smart to play to this area, but TNA has some issues with letting people into the main event scene. Hopefully he’s more of an Ethan Carter style guy though because that’s been a great success.

Gail Kim asks Maria what she has to do tonight and gets jumped from behind by Marti Belle. Maria makes Marti vs. Gail, No DQ.

Edwards yells at Bennett and Moose for cheating to win (they didn’t really cheat) and wants Bennett one on one tonight.

Marti Belle vs. Gail Kim

No DQ. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start as Maria and Ashley try their best to come down to the ring in heels. Gail yells at Allie so Marti can get in a cheap shot from behind to take over. Some suplexes have Gail in trouble and her comeback is cut off by another Allie distraction. Back in and Gail takes over with a few clotheslines followed by most of a Blockbuster for two. Maria interferes this time and tells Allie to hit Gail with Marti’s baton, only to have Gail send Marti into Allie. A small package pins Marti at 4:19.

Rating: D. Sweet goodness they’re in full on ALL PRAISE GAIL mode here. Sienna? Anyone want to mention her anytime soon? Nah that would make too much sense because we need to build Gail up again so she can win the Knockouts Title again at Bound For Glory against a woman we barely know anything about. Build Sienna up and let Gail go in on her reputation. It’s not like we don’t know who she is already.

The beatdown is on post match until Jade runs in for the save and decks Allie. Maria gives Jade a match against Gail next week.

Matt Hardy is riding in a car and tells whoever is driving to take him to the obsolete mule. We see Jeff standing by a pond and it’s Vanguard 1 driving the car. Matt tells Jeff that he had a premonition of Decay trying to abduct Maxill so Reby and Maxill are at the Hardy Compound. Vanguard 1 is sent to the Compound to help guard them (with Vanguard’s monitor saying GOODBYE) and Matt tells Jeff to get ready for his match.

James Storm wants to win the title for his family.

Next week: Hardys vs. BroMans vs. Tribunal vs. Helms Dynasty in a ladder match for the #1 contendership to the Tag Team Titles. Sweet goodness they have a lot of ladder matches around here. It’s like triple threats in the WWE turned up even further. Just wrestle already and cut out the hardware.

Here’s Matt with a threat to eat and delete anyone who questions his genius. We hear about his premonition and Matt orders Jeff down here to help him win the Tag Team Titles. Jeff mouths the words to his song and all of Matt’s intro for him. Matt says it’s time to fight but Jeff wants to ask why Matt bit that fan’s face last week. I’d rather like to know why no one has suspended Matt for his actions, or why the Dixie vs. Corgan feud was dropped with no explanation (I’d like to know who pulled the plug so I can send them a fruit basket and a shop vac.).

Jeff tries to get Matt to forget all this and help him fight but Matt says the Hardys are done. Cue the Tribunal with Al Snow saying he’s been to crazy town before but thinks Matt has gone over the edge. We get some standard French people are snooty insults and a bell rings.

Matt Hardy/Jeff Hardy vs. Tribunal

We take a break so early that I don’t even have anything to talk about before the commercial. Back with Jeff in trouble and being double teamed. A quick comeback doesn’t get him anywhere as Matt won’t tag in, allowing Baron to take him down by the arm. The arm work continues as we go to Matt, who is looking straight into the eyes of a fan with a Jeff sign.

The fan starts saying DELETE as Matt has hypnotized him. Snow comes over with the whistle so Matt bites his finger (triggering rapid fire whistling) and beats on Dax with a boot. Jeff makes his comeback and hits the Twist of Fate for the pin at 7:14. We didn’t see enough of the match for me to rate it but this was just angle advancement.

Post match Matt says that was close to good so Jeff snaps and hits a few Twists on Snow and the Frenchmen. Jeff puts Snow through a table at ringside and then puts himself through a second table because the only person that punishes Jeff is Jeff. Matt laughs maniacally and Jeff says he is Brother Nero. Matt is thrilled because Jeff is finally broken.

Lashley comes up to Dixie and Corgan in the back and isn’t happy that Storm is getting these vignettes tonight. Corgan says Lashley had the same offer but turned it down. Lashley doesn’t seem to care.

Decay says they’re the past, present and future. Abyss credits Decay with his beauty and Rosemary says what happened to Bram was a lesson.

Here’s Drew Galloway for a chat. Drew hasn’t been around for awhile because of everything that has happened to him recently. He’s known that he needs to be away because he’ll get thrown out and then go to jail if he does what he wants. It’s been sixteen years to try to become World Champion and then it was ripped away from his hands. Then Ethan Carter III cost him his chance in the Bound For Glory Playoff.

Everyone has been telling him that Ethan is his friend but this is three times (losing the title, losing the rematch and losing in the Playoff) that Ethan has ripped him off. Now Drew knows that Ethan is trying to destroy his career so Galloway wants one more match: Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III for the spot in the Bound For Glory main event.

Storm is tired of people telling him he can’t do it.

TNA World Title/X-Division Title/King of the Mountain Title: Lashley vs. James Storm

Winner take all. Storm hits a Last Call at the bell and gets a delayed two because the referee is out of position. A staggered Lashley bails out to the floor and Storm knocks him around until we take a break. Back with Lashley in control with his power offense in the corner. Storm has nothing to fight back against the big heavy shots until Lashley misses a charge and gets caught in the Eye of the Storm.

Lashley rips the turnbuckle pad off to avoid a rollup before kicking Storm into the exposed steel. A spinebuster and the spear give Lashley two. Back to back Last Calls get two for Storm and so much for that finisher. The fourth Last Call is countered but Storm hits Closing Time, only to have Lashley hit a spear to win the title at 16:40.

Rating: C+. This was fine enough albeit the most obvious ending in the world. Lashley winning the titles feels like a copy of Seth Rollins holding the US/WWE World Titles last summer but at least it’s been a year and not a few days this time. Storm was a good choice for a transitional champion as he’ll be fine, though I’m not a fan of one guy holding all the gold and likely having three matches in a night at some point. Lashley is good but TNA has a horrible problem of not understanding that less is more.

Lashley celebrates and here’s Aron Rex to stare down Lashley to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Aron was a good debut and feels like he could be something big but the rest of this show was a lot of slowly advancing the stories forward. It’s not quite early enough to make matches for Bound For Glory but there’s nothing in between now and then to build towards. Things are far from horrible and again they kept the Hardys to a limited space, though the idea of Broken Jeff makes me shake my head. Good enough show here but the only thing worth (arguably) seeing is Rex’s promo.

Results

Mike Bennett/Moose b. Eddie Edwards/Ethan Carter III – Lifting powerbomb to Edwards

Gail Kim b. Marti Belle – Small package

Matt and Jeff Hardy b. Tribunal – Twist of Fate to Dax

Lashley b. James Storm – Spear

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

WWE wants to add more Tag Team Titles when there’s barely enough of a division for one set of belts.

http://wrestlingrumors.net/kbs-review-two-for-the-gold/

Cruiserweight Classic
Date: August 10, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Mauro Ranallo, Daniel Bryan

We’ve hit the second round as the field has shrunk to sixteen competitors. This is where things start to get more interesting as a lot of the people who came in with no chance have been eliminated, leaving us with matches between more realistic options. Only two matches have been announced for tonight but there could be extras to go with them. Let’s get to it.

We open with a music video recap of the first round.

Opening sequence.

The announcers talk about the tournament for a few moments.

Corey Graves previews tonight’s show.

Gran Metalik is here to represent Mexico.

Tajiri has been around for a long time but wants to make one more run.

Second Round: Gran Metalik vs. Tajiri

Mexico vs. Japan. They trade some fast armdrags and legsweeps to start and it’s an early stalemate. Tajiri takes him to the mat for a reverse Koji Clutch but gets reversed into an ankle lock. Now it’s time to trade rollups as they’re mirroring each other so far. Metalik sends him outside but Tajiri runs inside again and hits a quick kick to set up a chinlock. That goes into a headscissors on Metalik before it turns into a slugout with Metalik getting the better of it off an enziguri.

Tajiri goes outside again and that means it’s time for Gran to walk the ropes into a flip dive for a huge crash. Back in and a top rope elbow gets two on Tajiri but he goes back to the kicks for a break. Metalik gets put in the Tree of Woe for the basement dropkick. A powerbomb gets two more for Tajiri before he grabs a sunset flip but goes to the side, leans back and pulls on Metalik’s head for a submission attempt. Metalik escapes and ducks another kick, setting up the Metalik Screwdriver (Samoan Driver) to advance at 10:54.

Rating: B. This was exactly why you bring in someone like Tajiri: he has a resume, the fans know who he is and he can still go. Metalik is a stranger to most of these people but now he’s beaten a former multiple time Cruiserweight Champion to give him some credibility with people not so familiar with him. The booking and structure of the match were both perfect and the execution being strong was a bonus. Very well done here.

Cedric Alexander is here to prove he’s the best.

Kota Ibushi is a star in Japan and wants to be one in America as well.

Second Round: Kota Ibushi vs. Cedric Alexander

Japan vs. America. They start fast as well with Ibushi knocking him to the mat but Cedric is smart enough to not run in again. Back up and Cedric grabs an armbar for a bit before Ibushi comes back up and turns on the speed again. A sunset flip gets two for Kota before he stops playing and just blasts Cedric in the chest with a big kick.

Kota heads to the apron and chops Cedric in the face (Isn’t that a slap?) to set up a springboard dropkick. A moonsault to the floor misses though and Cedric nails a running flip dive. Back in and a great looking top rope clothesline gets two on Kota. They chop it out again before Kota hits the loudest dropkick I’ve heard in years. Ibushi fires off even more rapid strikes and gets two off a standing corkscrew moonsault.

An exploder suplex sends Cedric to the floor and now Ibushi hits the big moonsault dive to the floor. Fans: “FIGHT FOREVER!” A Michinoku Driver gets two for Cedric and he one ups himself by landing on his feet to counter a super Frankensteiner. Now it’s a brainbuster for two more, almost immediately followed by a hard kick to Kota’s head for an even closer two. Kota drops him on his head with a German suplex and the Golden Star Powerbomb sends Ibushi to the second round at 14:56.

Rating: A. WOW that was fun. This match felt like it was going on for the better part of an hour and I was stunned when it wasn’t even fifteen minutes long. Cedric has won me over here as I wasn’t the biggest fan of his ROH stuff but was blown away by his performance tonight. Absolutely incredibly action packed match here and a complete spectacle from bell to bell. Check this match out for sure, which isn’t something I’ll often say.

Bryan previews next week’s matches but we cut back to the arena where Cedric gets a standing ovation. Fans: “PLEASE SIGN CEDRIC!” Alexander starts crying and HHH comes out to congratulate him as well. He gives the fans a thumbs up which might mean they get what they want.

Overall Rating: A+. The first round grew on me over time but this was the show where they jumped to the next level. It’s rare enough to see one amazing match like this and we got two of them in about forty five minutes. I was amazed by this stuff and the final could be the match of the year almost no matter what combination we get. Watch this show and keep watching

Results

Gran Metalik b. Tajiri – Metalik Screwdriver

Kota Ibushi b. Cedric Alexander – Golden Star Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

NXT
Date: August 10, 2016
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

With Takeover: Brooklyn just ten days away, it’s time to start the final push towards the big show. In this case we have the contract signing between Bayley and the now evil Asuka for their Women’s Title match as well as (more than likely at least) a showdown between Samoa Joe and Shinsuke Nakamura. Let’s get to it.

A very happy Bobby Roode exits William Regal’s office.

Opening sequence.

We open with the contract signing with both women coming to the ring and Regal moderating. Bayley talks about last year in Brooklyn being her dream but Dallas being her nightmare. She wasn’t ready in Texas but now she’s a different person and ready to take the title back. Asuka says Bayley isn’t ready and offers a handshake but Bayley doesn’t fall for it. They both sign and the champ offers another handshake but Bayley slaps it away and leaves. We’re not done yet though as Bayley gets back in and does the big staredown.

Authors of Pain vs. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz

The Authors don’t have names yet so we’ll say #1 throws Nailz into the corner. #2 comes in and tosses Ryzin around with ease. Stereo powerbombs set up the clothesline/legsweep combo for the pin at 1:20.

The beating continues post match but TM61 comes in for the brawl, only to get powerbombed as well.

Nakamura says he isn’t hard to find and he’ll find Joe when he wants to.

Andrade Cien Almas vs. Angelo Dawkins

I saw this match at a house show recently. Dawkins runs him over to start and we’re in the chinlock after about a minute. Almas comes back with a kick into the corner and the running knees, followed by a hammerlock DDT for the pin on Dawkins at 2:20. The silence when Almas won is a really bad sign as he’s just flopped so hard coming out of the gate.

Post match here’s Bobby Roode to say that he’s been to see William Regal and the two of them will be facing off in Brooklyn. Almas doesn’t need to get a big head though because the people will be there to see Bobby Roode and Bobby Roode alone.

Austin Aries is explaining the health benefits of eating oranges to William Regal before saying he wants a match at Takeover because it’s supposed to be special. Regal agrees and make Aries vs. No Way Jose.

Liv Morgan vs. Billie Kay

Kay takes it to the mat with an armbar to start but Morgan climbs up on her hands and spins into a headscissors to escape. A discus forearm puts Morgan right back down for two and we hit the chinlock. Back up and the big boot puts Morgan away at 3:12.

Rating: D+. Not much here but if Billie Kay is the next woman to be built up in NXT then so be it. They need a lot of fresh bodies down there right now to replace the ravaging from the Draft. Billie just getting presented as a big deal for two weeks has already done more for her than anything else in the last year so they’re on the right path. It’s a good sign that NXT can just flip a switch on someone and see results like this.

We look at Tommaso Ciampa vs. Johnny Gargano from last week in the Cruiserweight Classic.

Regal (we’ve seen a lot of him tonight) gives Ciampa and Gargano a Tag Team Title shot in Brooklyn.

Ember Moon is coming in Brooklyn. This time we can see a woman’s eyes.

Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark vs. Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano

Gagano and Clark get things going with Johnny easily wrestling him to the mat. It’s off to Knight to splash Ciampa in the corner before Gargano and Ciampa turn up the serious and kick the jobbers down. The running knee/superkick combination put Knight away at 3:13.

Rating: C. Gargano and Ciampa are on fire right now and I’m honestly not sure who is going to win in the title match. That’s one of the best feelings you can have in wrestling: seeing both options as distinct possibilities because they’re both on a roll and could get the win over the other. It’s really hard to do but it’s a blast when it’s pulled off.

We look back at Hideo Itami’s return match last week.

Mojo Rawley won’t stand for being attacked by Samoa Joe and he’s bringing the fight tonight. It’s about getting even, not getting hyped.

Samoa Joe vs. Mojo Rawley

Non-title. Mojo goes right after Joe to start and actually succeeds with a headbutt. The champ pounds him down with the snap jabs to the jaw but Mojo still won’t give up and knocks him into the corner again. Mojo charges into the Rock Bottom out of the corner though and the Koquina Clutch gives Joe the win at 4:35.

Rating: C+. That’s probably it for Mojo and it’s a shame that he finally got the whole aggressive things down in his last match here. Joe mauling anyone was the best option for him here and it makes him look like a monster who can absorb a beating and still win the match with little more than a sweat.

Post match Joe keeps the hold on until Nakamura comes down. Security holds Joe back so Nakamura puts his hand on Joe’s face and then slaps him. Joe is barely controllable to end the show.

Overall Rating: B+. I’m really starting to like these shows where they do the heavy lifting to get us to the next Takeover show. Almost every match got a little time tonight and three new matches were added to give us the meat of the card. I came into this show with a fairly strong interest in Brooklyn and now I want it to be tomorrow. Mission accomplished, as usual.

Results

Authors of Pain b. Rob Ryzin/Adrian Nailz – Clothesline/Russian legsweep combo to Nailz

Andrade Cien Almas b. Angelo Dawkins – Hammerlock DDT

Billie Kay b. Liv Morgan – Big Boot

Tommaso Ciampa/Johnny Gargano b. Tucker Knight/Patrick Clark – Superkick/running knee combo to Clark

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01IH7O904

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Nitro #282
Date: March 19, 2001
Location: O’Connell Center, Gainesville, Florida
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Scott Hudson

Greed has come and gone and it should be interesting to see where things go with this final real show before next week’s grand (work with me here) finale. Scott Steiner is still World Champion after demolishing Diamond Dallas Page because that’s what Scott Steiner does, though it does raise the question of who is left for him to beat. In theory that would be Booker T., who became US Champion for the first time last night. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memorium tribute to Diamond Dallas Page, complete with Taps and a shot of a flag at half mast over video of a trailer park.

Quick look at last night’s main event.

Here’s the Magnificent Seven (well four, counting Midajah) to open things up. As they’re on the way to the ring, we’re told that Eric Bischoff will be calling in later. That should be interesting for a change. Scott says Page is now on the same list as Sting, Kevin Nash, Sid Vicious and Goldberg and demands that the fans pay homage to him.

Ric brags about beating Dusty and Dustin around Jacksonville last night and says Dusty isn’t here tonight. Dusty and Dustin pop up on screen to say Flair is going to kiss something tonight. After a challenge from Steiner, Dusty says someone is here to fight Steiner instead. Cue Booker T., who Scott says he beat so bad that Booker forgot where the barbershop is. Booker promises to get his hands on Steiner tonight.

Buff Bagwell and Animal are in the back with Buff accusing Lex Luger of being the attacker. The cameraman is told to follow Luger around all night.

Jason Jett vs. Disco Inferno

Hudson talks about Jason Jett’s win last night as we see his win on Thunder. Of course they can’t get it right with three shows left. Disco has Mike Sanders with him. Jason spins him him down with a headlock and a sitout powerbomb for two. Sanders offers a distraction though and it’s time for dancing.

A facebuster sets up more dancing and a delayed near fall before Disco starts in on the knee. Yet another distraction allows Sanders to come in and be quickly dispatched so Jett can slam Disco down, setting up a standing moonsault for two. Sanders tries to come in but hits Disco by mistake, allowing Jett to hit the Crash Landing for the pin.

Rating: D+. Jett continues to be interesting but this is pretty much it for him unless he’s got a final match on Thunder. Disco losing because of a stupid blunder is the perfect way for him to go out, but he deserves some credit for being around as long as he was. He debuted on one of the very first shows and made it all the way to the end on a glorified comedy character. There wasn’t any real future for him in the WWF or anything but Disco is someone who deserves more credit than he gets.

Ric Flair and Jeff Jarrett are having a chat as the documentary cameraman (whose identity isn’t entirely clear actually) sneaks in a shot through the crack of a door.

Here’s Shane Helms to challenge Kidman to a rubber match for the Cruiserweight Title.

Cruiserweight Title: Shane Helms vs. Kidman

Kidman is challenging. They run the ropes to start with Helms sending him outside and following with a big flip dive. A good looking high cross body gets two for the champ but Kidman gets the same off a belly to back. They’re moving out there so far. A BK Bomb plants Helms for two as we’re told that next week is the season finale. Helms stops a charge by raising a boot and ducks a clothesline to grab the Vertebreaker and retain the title.

Rating: C+. This was too short to be really good but they were flying around at high speed for the few minutes they had. Kidman looked good as always but it was clear that Helms was just flat out better than anyone else in the division at this point. He’s a great option for the final champion and I’m glad he had a long career after WCW went under.

Post match Chavo Guerrero Jr. comes out for the brawl until Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper run down to help Guerrero. Rey Mysterio makes the save and the good guys (including Helms) clear the ring.

Lex Luger has been laid out so the cameraman goes to find Buff or Animal to help.

Bam Bam Bigelow has been granted a rematch with Shawn Stasiak. For the love of all things good and made of pickle flavored ice cream, WHY?

Buff and Animal ask if Luger saw anything. Animal freaks out because this needs to stop and Rick Steiner is the next suspect.

Shawn Stasiak vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Stacy is now just Stacy instead of Stacy Keibler and despite the Miss Hancock outfit. Before the match we get a quick Shawn and Stacy Show with Shawn saying he’s ready to beat Bigelow up again so he and Stacy can get down to the real business. Bigelow throws him around to start but gets pounded in the corner. Who knew Shawn had that in him? A clothesline actually drops Bigelow but he intercepts Stacy’s hairspray. Ever the nice guy though, Bigelow doesn’t use it and opts for the Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin.

The replays shows a virtually empty upper deck, which is only the fourth section away from the ring.

Post match Stasiak says he wants one more match but Bigelow wants the pot sweetened a bit: if he wins, Stasiak has to get a tattoo. Shawn agrees, despite thinking it was going to be Stacy at the time. Wouldn’t Stacy getting one be a bigger draw? Well to be fair they’re going out of business so that’s hardly their biggest problem.

Here are Scott Steiner, Flair and Midajah to the ring where a table has been set. Terry Taylor is there also but Scott throws the chairs out and grabs him by the shirt. Cue Booker T. to the stage so he’s clearly not a Red Rooster fan. Booker introduces the phone call from Eric Bischoff, which can be heard in the arena.

Bischoff has been trying to acquire WCW but they’ve hit some roadblocks that may be brick walls. Next week might be the last night of wrestling on the Turner networks so next week will be a Night of Champions, meaning every title will be on the line. That includes Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner in a title vs. title match. Also, any former World Heavyweight Champions are invited to the show next week and please bring your boots with them. As for Ric Flair, he will be giving Dusty that kiss tonight no matter what. Bischoff will be there next week and hangs up.

Steiner signs the contract for next week as Booker has made it to the ring. Scott jumps him before Booker can sign and beats him down with the pipe. Security comes in and gets laid out as well but Booker pops up and hits the ax kick on Scott. Booker gets the pipe but Steiner bails with Flair and Midajah, leaving Booker to say his catchphrase, which is then played again at the start of his theme song.

Buff, Animal and Luger go to see Ric (who obviously hasn’t been out to the ring yet when this was filmed) and Jeff. Ric says they’re going to regroup but there will be no kissing.

M.I. Smooth vs. Kanyon

Kanyon jumps Smooth (in wrestling gear here) during his entrance but gets powerslammed down. Smooth has to keep pulling his straps up as they head outside with Kanyon getting chopped around the ring. Back in and Smooth splashes him in the corner but Kanyon gets a Russian legsweep for two.

Kanyon goes Flair by asking for the time and dropping a low blow behind the referee’s back. A slingshot elbow gets two on Smooth as Kanyon looks bored. Maybe it’s the whole psycho character but he needs to find a better way to show emotion. Smooth powerbombs him but misses a charge into the post, allowing Kanyon to go grab a chair. Animal runs in and DDT’s Smooth with the Cat coming in for a save after the pin.

Rating: D-. What the heck was that? Kanyon looked bored out of his mind and after Smooth no sold all those chair shots last week but now he loses in five minutes to a DDT from Animal? I always liked Ice Train back in the day so it was cool to see him get a mild push over the last few weeks but that’s not quite how I was hoping he would wrap up his career.

Cat makes a tag match for Thunder.

Dusty Rhodes eats more burritos.

Rick Steiner vs. Konnan

Steiner really doesn’t seem to mind that he lost the US Title. They’re on the floor in less than ten seconds and for some reason Rick is in bright blue. They trade whips into the barricade before Rick runs him over back inside. We’re firmly in the Rick Steiner formula now with Steiner slowly walking around and occasionally hitting Konnan before staring out at the crowd.

Konnan comes back with a faceplant but Rick completely misses a clothesline. It’s sold anyway and Konnan looks like a moron as a result, despite the clothesline being about a foot above his head. Rick stands over him again before putting Konnan’s arm between Rick’s legs and laying down, which apparently is an armbar. As the fans try to get their head around how Rick can actually be that lazy, Shane Douglas comes in for the DQ with a cast shot to Steiner’s head.

Rating: F. For that armbar alone. Of all the people who wouldn’t be seen again for years anywhere outside of a reunion show or some bad TNA pay per view, I think I’ll miss Rick Steiner the least. The guy was part of a great team at one point but ever since he’s become a singles wrestler, he’s turned into one of the biggest embarrassments I’ve ever seen in a wrestling ring.

Rick is back up ten seconds later to be knocked outside by Hugh Morrus.

Bagwell, Luger and Animal accuse Rick of being the attacker and are thrown out after an argument.

Team Canada is ready to win a non-title match and earn a Tag Team Title shot.

Ric assures Jarrett that he’ll make the right decision.

Sean O’Haire/Chuck Palumbo vs. Team Canada

Non-title. Storm and Palumbo start to some USA chants. Chuck fires off some great right hands and dropkicks Storm out to the floor. Back in and it’s off to Sean vs. Mike with O’Haire ducking a clothesline and hitting a perfect spinning kick to the face for two. Lance comes in for some right hands and a suplex to set up Awesome’s slingshot splash for two more.

Awesome clotheslines Storm by mistake but Storm comes off the top to stop a tag attempt. Back up and Sean hits a fireman’s carry throw on Storm, allowing the hot tag off to Chuck to clean house. It’s a shame that the crowd isn’t reacting to most of this as they’re having a good match.

Everything breaks down and Awesome eats the Jungle Kick but Storm breaks up the Seanton Bomb. Storm gets a chair kicked into his face but Awesome cracks Palumbo in the head with another chair. The shot was so close to Nick Patrick’s head that even Tony has to ask how Patrick didn’t hear it. The Awesome Bomb gives Mike the pin on Palumbo. That’s your Tag Team Title match next week.

Rating: B. I liked this a lot better than I was expecting to as O’Haire and Palumbo have turned into a good team here in the final few weeks. Team Canada isn’t bad either as Storm and Awesome have good chemistry together and the rematch should be fun next week, even if it barely means anything. You need a good wrestling match like this to boost a show and this one did just that.

Here are Jarrett and Flair for the big closing segment. Flair tells Dusty to come out here right now but it’s Dustin instead. Ric wants the old version so Dustin introduces his dad who comes out with a donkey and I think you get the joke. In case it’s not clear, the back of the donkey says “Dusty’s A**”. Apparently the donkey, named Old Silver Dollar, has had about 300 burritos today, which I can’t imagine is healthy for him.

Flair sends Jeff to do it instead but Jarrett says no way. Dustin gets beaten down but here’s daddy for the save. The villains send Dusty into the barricade and go over towards the donkey. Dustin makes another save and Flair does indeed kiss Silver Dollar to end the show. I get the idea here but wouldn’t Flair being made to do what was implied all night be more embarrassing? This was funny enough but it was a downgrade in a way.

Overall Rating: C+. You have to keep in mind that this show is basically part one of a series finale. On that front, it wrapped up several stories though I’m still curious to see if they tell us who the attacker was. The wrestling here was up and down as has become the standard in WCW with a lot of the problem still being Rick Steiner putting on another horrible match and dragging the show down with him. Overall though, this was an easy night to sit through as they’re just flat out saying they’re done after next week.

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