Monday Nitro – March 5, 2001: And Down The Stretch They Come
Monday Nitro #280 Date: March 5, 2001
Location: Bi-Lo Center, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Tony Schaivone, Scott Hudson
After last week, it’s really hard to say what we should expect here as Nitro worked very well but Thunder was every bit the show you would have expected it to be. I’m liking Scott Steiner vs. Diamond Dallas Page but the rest of the show is so all over the scale that it’s hard to guess what you’ll get. Let’s get to it.
We open with Rick Steiner in the ring ranting about how Booker T. was nothing without his brother. Booker eventually comes out and it’s time for a match.
Rick Steiner vs. Booker T.
Non-title I believe. Booker starts in with his kicks but Rick no sells most of them (of course) and does his brawling punches in the corner. Some right hands to the head actually stagger Rick but he gets caught in a belly to belly for two. A tiger bomb gets two more on Booker, who escapes the Steiner Driver by pulling Rick down in what looked like a botch. Not that it matters as Scott comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D. Booker did what he could here but as usual there’s only so much you can do when Rick is barely doing anything but punching and that sloppy offense of his. He’s taken the US Title hostage just like Scott did before as there’s almost no way he’s dropping it to anyone other than a big star, leaving most of the midcarders to have nothing to fight over.
Diamond Dallas Page comes out for the save and clears the ring. Insults are exchanged and a tag match is made for later.
We recap the Cruiserweight Tag Team Title tournament.
Cruiserweight Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Elix Skipper/??? vs. AJ Styles/Air Paris
The mystery partner is…..Kid Romeo. Wow what a bombshell. Romeo and Styles start things off with Romeo being sent to the floor, only to catch a sliding AJ and drop him face first onto the announcers’ table. All four wind up on the floor and Romeo dives off the steps to clothesline Paris. Apparently that’s enough for a tag as Romeo takes over on Paris back inside. A superkick puts Skipper down as Hudson talks about NWA Wildside announcer Steve Prazak and I wonder if he’s talking about ROH’s Dave Prazak.
The hot tag brings in AJ as everything breaks down and we hit the big dives to the floor. The announcers would rather talk about an upcoming (as in on Thunder) Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm match which really puts these titles in context. Romeo powerslams Paris off the apron as Chavo Guerrero comes out to watch. Back in and Skipper dropkicks Air into a Snow Plow for the pin.
Rating: C+. Lack of star power aside, this was a fun match and a more low key high flying match. Romeo was nothing special and Paris continues to not really offer anything great but Styles and Skipper were doing all their flips to make up for it. As usual though, as is almost always the case in tournament matches, there’s no story and it all relies on the action. On that standard this match was good but not excellent by any stretch.
Sean O’Haire says Lex Luger is in for a real fight tonight. His promos could use some work.
Lex Luger vs. Sean O’Haire
Luger runs him over with a clothesline to start as he’s already gone through a good chunk of his offense. Sean’s clothesline gets two of his own but Lex calmly pounds him down again. A whip into the corner sees Sean backflip over Luger’s head but he tweaks his knee on the landing. Cue Chuck Palumbo to check on his partner and punch Luger in the face a few times. This brings out Buff Bagwell with a few chair shots but that’s still not enough for the DQ. Instead Sean grabs a small package for two before having to sidestep a Blockbuster which takes Luger down instead. The Seanton Bomb gives O’Haire the pin.
Rating: D+. I’m assuming this was supposed to be a big win for O’Haire but all the shenanigans to go with Luger’s offense held it back quite a bit. That being said, this is what Luger should be doing: jobbing for the young up and coming stars instead of being given completely unnecessary wins that only help himself.
Bagwell gets in a Blockbuster on O’Haire.
Shawn Stasiak and Kanyon arrive in Shawn’s limo. Kanyon is going to visit Miss Jones in the hospital so Stasiak gives her an autographed picture as a present.
Chavo thinks Shane Helms should be the one who is scared.
Team Canada beats Konnan down but Hugh Morrus makes the save.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Dusty Rhodes
And it’s a guy in a Dusty mask. Jeff does some signature Dusty stuff and finishes with the Bionic Elbow in less than a minute. Is there ANY POINT to this story that I’m just missing? They’re so desperate for content that they’re making fun of someone who made one cameo a few weeks ago?
Jarrett promises to make Dusty kiss a certain body part but here’s Dustin Rhodes for the save. Dusty gets up and rips off some makeup to reveal Ric Flair for a double beating. The real Dusty comes out for the save with Ric and Jeff running. Ric yells a lot and wants to know why Dusty is in his building. Dusty goes on a rant about Jeff Jarrett’s dad and laughs about getting to call Ric fat boy. He calls Ric an extra in WCW so Ric sets up a tag match for Greed. Did I mention this was the start of the second hour and what was opposing Raw?
Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Shane Helms
Non-title again. Shane has a huge entrance now with dancing girls (the Nitro Girls, who I didn’t know were still a thing), a lot more lighting and new music. Chavo jumps him at the bell and scores with a belly to back suplex, only to charge into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. The announcers talk about Rhodes vs. Flair and apparently the losing team will have to, ahem, kiss up to the winners.
Shane makes his early comeback with a dive to the floor as Kid Romeo and Elix Skipper come out to watch. Skipper trips Shane up to cut off the comeback but Helms gets two off a backslide anyway. A superkick gets two on Chavo and Shane dives onto Skipper and Romeo to keep them away. That draws them into a ring and we STILL CAN’T GET A DQ. Romeo is sent outside while Skipper helps Chavo hit a Hart Attack. The brainbuster puts Shane away.
Rating: C. What was the point of this one? Shane gets the big entrance and looks like a star (as well as a face in a turn I must have missed) but loses here to set up the pay per view match? Have Shane win via DQ due to the interference and then clear the ring but don’t have him lose like this.
Spring Breakout video.
Kanyon is in Miss Jones’ hospital room (why she’s in a Greenville, South Carolina hospital after getting injured in Huntsville, Alabama isn’t clear) when the Cat, minus a shirt, comes in for the brawl. Crutches and bottles are broken over both guys as Jones keeps screaming for a nurse. Not security mind you, but a nurse. Cat makes sure to tell Kanyon that he hates him while also getting in a few “I’M THE GREATEST” lines. Kanyon gets electrocuted by the defibrillator to wrap this up. My goodness this was stupid.
Hugh Morrus vs. Mike Awesome
Mike kicks him in the face to start and drops a leg for an early two count. They head outside with Morrus being sent into the post, followed by a slingshot splash for two back inside. Morrus catches him coming off the top and grabs a suplex, only to miss a charge into the post. Cue Lance Storm to beat on Morrus (with the referee seeing it and still not doing anything about it). That’s not enough to set up the Awesome Splash though as Morrus rolls away and drops Mike with a DDT. No Laughing Matter puts Awesome away.
Rating: C-. This could have been worse as both guys can hit the other hard enough to keep this entertaining. Awesome jobbing again is a bit annoying but you kind of have to expect that at this point. I’m not sure why we’re getting Morrus/Konnan vs. Team Canada but at least it’s something for all of them to do.
Konnan comes out to save Morrus from a post match beatdown.
Booker T./Diamond Dallas Page vs. Steiner Brothers
The Brothers have separate entrances. Before the match, Rick accepts a challenge from Booker T. (who isn’t actually here to make said challenge), presumably for Greed. Scott on the other hand calls Page a coward who will get what’s coming to him at the pay per view. Booker comes out and seems to like the idea of being US Champion at Greed. It’s a big brawl to start with Scott being sent to the floor for a dive from Page.
Back in and Scott ties Page in the Tree of Woe for some choking. The discus lariat puts Rick down and the hot tag brings in Booker to clean house. Scott grabs a belly to belly for two as the announcers talk about the new owners again. Booker slugs away but walks into another suplex. A double clothesline puts Rick down and there’s the hot tag to Page. Everything breaks down with Booker and Scott fighting to the back where Booker gets beaten down by the Magnificent Seven. A German suplex drops Page but he grabs the Diamond Cutter for the pin.
Rating: C. It was basically a formula based match until the screwy ending and that’s a good thing. You would think the Steiner Brothers’ return would be a bigger deal but it was barely mentioned by the announcers and the match was really just a run of the mill TV main event. Page pinning Rick is a logical ending and it’s not like the US Title has any real value to lose at this point.
Page bails from the Seven but Scott jumps him in the crowd to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This was hit and miss all night long and that seems to be the norm once again for WCW. There’s definitely good stuff and it was nice to not have the crusierweights stuck in the opening spot for a change. The wrestling was the standard fare but the booking was a bit tighter tonight and that’s the more important thing going forward. You know, for the next three weeks. Unfortunately there’s so much bad stuff like the Rhodes segment or the hospital scene as WCW really can’t put on a complete show without something stupid holding it back.
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Summerslam Count-Up – 1991: Bret Hart Is Great. Trust Me.
Summerslam 1991 Date: August 26, 1991
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 20,000
Commentators: Bobby Heenan, Roddy Piper, Gorilla Monsoon
This is a show that almost no one remembers other than one match. The main event is Hogan/Warrior vs. Slaughter/Adnan/Mustafa, which would have been a much better match a few months ago when Slaughter was still a threat. Other than that we have the wedding of Savage and Miss Elizabeth who reunited at Wrestlemania VII in one of the best moments in company history. Let’s get to it.
We open with Savage in the back getting ready while Alfred Hayes asks him questions. Savage says that he’s ready and in the danger zone, but HAYES’ TIE IS CROOKED. “NOW YOU’RE OK AND IT’S TIME TO GO CHECK MY BABY BLUE EYES!”
We get the regular intro with the theme of a match made in Heaven and a match made in Hell.
Ricky Steamboat/British Bulldog/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory
Steamboat is just The Dragon here, complete with what looks like a lizard man costume and breathing fire. The heels get the jobber entrance and have Slick with them. Steamboat and Roma get things going as Gorilla is listing off the rest of the card. Roma slams him down and mostly misses a dropkick before posing. Paul goes to the middle rope but dives into the armdrag and Steamboat cranks on the arm even more. Ricky hits a much better dropkick to put Roma in the corner for a tag to Hercules who gets caught in some armdrags of his own.
Off to Tornado and the fans go nuts as he rams Herc’s head into the buckle. Ten right hands to the head in the corner have Hercules in even more trouble but it’s off to Warlord vs. Bulldog which was a decent power feud. Bulldog hits the suplex for two and it’s off to Steamboat for a top rope chop to the head. Warlord blocks a monkey flip though and it’s back to Roma with a suplex of his own for two. Three straight backbreakers have Steamboat in even more trouble before it’s back to Hercules for a gorilla press.
Steamboat starts fighting back but gets caught in a big hotshot to put him down. Here’s Warlord again but he dives into two feet from Steamboat, allowing for the tag off to Tornado. The Texan cleans house but makes a blind tag to Bulldog who hits a cross body. That plus the Tornado Punch to Warlord is good for two as everything breaks down. Bulldog powerslams Roma down and Ssteamboat adds the high cross body for the pin.
Rating: C+. Nothing wrong with this as it was a basic six man tag to fire up the crowd. Everyone looked fine and the crowd was WAY into the smark god known as Ricky Steamboat. The heels were all about to be gone from the company with only Warlord making it to 1992.
Sean Mooney says to call some hotline to hear prerecorded comments from Liz and Savage!
Mr. Perfect says he’s an awesome champion.
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Bret Hart
Perfect has been champion since last November so he’s a pretty big deal. He also has his Coach (former wrestler John Tolos) with him. Stu and Helen Hart are in the audience to watch their son. Feeling out process to start with Bret scoring first by hip tossing Perfect to the floor. Back in and Bret grabs a headlock followed by a crucifix for two. Bret puts the headlock on again as Heenan and Piper are going to war on commentary. Gorilla: “WILL YOU STOP???”
Perfect grabs at the hair to escape and chops Bret’s chest off. A slam puts Bret down but he kicks Perfect away and slams him down, only to have Perfect kick him right back. Bret is all like screw this wrestling stuff and clotheslines Perfect to the floor. The champ tries to run but Bret throws him back in and the dude in pink is mad. Perfect gets in a HARD kick to the ribs and Bret is sent to the floor where Coach whistles at him.
Bret tries to get up but is knocked off the apron and right on top of a production guy who has a very confused look on his face. Back in and Bret jumps over Perfect in the corner and gets two off a rollup. The fans are WAY into this so far. Perfect sends Bret chest first into the buckle to take over again as Heenan is starting to lose his marbles. Another hard whip into the buckle gets two for the champion followed by the Hennig neck snap for two more.
Hart is sent to the floor for a bit and they both come back in on the top. It’s Bret crashing down to the mat to give Perfect two as Heenan is thinking Perfect should get himself disqualified. The champ hooks a sleeper but Bret fights up into a crucifix, only to be dropped down into a Samoan drop for two. The PerfectPlex looks to finish Bret but it only gets two, sending MSG into delirium.
Back up and Bret fights back, sending Perfect across the ring and crotch first into the post. A suplex and small package get two each for Bret and it’s Five Moves of Doom time. Bret yells at the referee and gets rolled up for two before Bret starts going after the knee. He loads up the Sharpshooter but he has to knock Coach to the floor. The distraction lets Perfect get in a shot to take over. Perfect drops a leg between Bret’s legs but as he tries it again, Bret grabs the leg and puts the Sharpshooter on from his back. He turns the hold over and Perfect submits really fast but it’s good for Bret’s first singles title.
Rating: A. Oh come on it’s Bret vs. Perfect from Summerslam 91. Do I really need to explain this one? It’s one of the best matches of all time and holds up over twenty years later. The counter by Bret is a great way to show how solid of a mat wrestler he was. Kicking out of the PerfectPlex was the perfect idea as Bret took the champ’s best shots and still won. It’s still excellent and required viewing for wrestling fans.
Bret celebrates with his parents.
The Bushwhackers are ready for the Natural Disasters and Andre is ready for Earthquake, the man who broke his leg a few weeks back.
Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers
Andre looks terrible here and would be dead in less than 18 months. The Whackers sneak up on the big men on the floor and poke them in the eyes. We finally start with Butch vs. Typhoon and the big man being bitten on the trunks. Earthquake tries to come in but splashes his own partner by mistake. A double clothesline puts Quake down and the Bushwhackers are in full control.
Earthquake finally realizes he weighs more than both Bushwhackers put together and pounds Butch down with a few shots to the back. Heenan makes an obscure Newhart reference as Quake slams Butch into the corner but misses an elbow drop to the back. The second attempt connects though and it’s off to Typhoon for more fat man offense.
Off to an over the shoulder backbreaker on Butch which transitions into a bearhug by Earthquake. Heenan leaves to go find Hogan and embarrass him which we’ll get to later. Quake finally hits Typhoon with a clothesline by mistake as everything breaks down. The Bushwhackers hit Battering Rams on both Disasters but it’s finally the big men crushing Luke and the Earthquake for the pin.
Rating: D-. This was a waste of time and everyone knew it was going to be from the moment the bell rang. The Bushwhackers were the epitome of comedy bumpkins and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not sure why they picked them of all teams for Andre to back and the match was horrible.
Post match the Disasters go after Andre but the LOD comes out for the save. This was Andre’s last appearance for the company.
Heenan goes to Hogan’s dressing room with the NWA World Title to issue a challenge. “Hogan” (you never see him) opens the door and slams it in Heenan’s face. For the life of me I can’t get over seeing that belt in the WWF.
Virgil recaps his feud with DiBiase. You’re probably familiar with this one: Virgil was his bodyguard for years but at the Rumble, DiBiase pushed him just once too often and Virgil snapped. DiBiase lost to Virgil via countout at Wrestlemania and tonight it’s a rematch with the Million Dollar Title on the line.
Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil
This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.
Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.
The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.
Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.
The Mountie is ready for his Jailhouse Match with Boss Man. We get a clip of him shocking a handcuffed Boss Man from a few weeks ago. Moutnie insults the New York cops who take the loser to jail later tonight.
Boss Man says Mountie is going to jail tonight.
Mountie vs. Big Boss Man
Mountie talks trash to start so Boss Man punches him in the mouth to take over. They slug it out with Boss Man hitting a back elbow and a splash for two. Boss Man hits his running crotch attack to the back of Mountie’s neck followed by the sliding uppercut. Mountie dives into a good looking spinebuster for two but Boss Man chases Jimmy Hart instead of following up, earning him a trip into the steps.
Back in and Boss Man misses a splash in the corner as Heenan says it’s not Mayberry for the Boss Man tonight. Mountie gets two each off some elbows and a dropkick but the kickout sends him to the floor. He pulls Boss Man to the floor as Gorilla calls Jimmy a walking advertisement for birth control. Back in and they slug it out with Mountie hitting a piledriver for no cover. Instead Mountie gets his shock stick but only hits the mat. A hard uppercut sets up the Boss Man Slam for two (I don’t remember anyone not named Hogan kicking out of that) before another piledriver attempt is countered into an Alabama Slam to end Mountie.
Rating: D+. I’ve seen far worse and Boss Man’s high impact offense is always worth a look. This is the perfect blowoff to the feud which is something you rarely see anymore. Today feuds just keep going with some random gimmick match which may or may not fit the feud. This was the logical ending to it and it was tailor made for the blowoff. Why thy don’t do this anymore is beyond me.
Mountie is dragged away by cops.
DiBiase goes on a huge rant about the title, saying that Virgil stole it and he’ll get it back.
Bret says this is the best day of his career and he waited a long time to prove how great he is. I’m pretty sure we’re in intermission.
The Natural Disasters are going to eat the Legion of Doom for dinner.
Boss Man asks Sean Mooney what kind of bird can’t fly. A jailbird of course. He brags about winning a bit more.
Savage is nervous for the wedding.
Speaking of the wedding, here’s the phone number again, complete with a countdown clock for a five minute intermission. Seriously they just count down five minutes of dead air time. AND THIS WAS ON THE HOME VIDEO.
Mountie arrives at the jail and shouts that the cops can’t do this to him because HE’S THE MOUNTIE! He tries to read the cops their rights and gets thrown in a cell.
Jimmy Hart is panicking while his Nasty Boys are read for the LOD. It’s a street fight later tonight.
Mountie is tricked into having his picture taken.
The Legion of Doom wants the tag titles. Hawk says once they win the belts they’re going to chew up the Natural Disasters and spit them out “like the tartar that sticks to your teeth.”
Mountie yells about having being fingerprinted. These bits are so overblown that they’re hilarious.
Sgt. Slaughter and his cronies are excited about having a 3-2 advantage. Slaughter says he might have a surprise for later.
Sid Justice, the referee for the main event tonight, says that he’ll call it down the middle. Gene shows us a video of Slaughter and company offering Sid a spot on the team but Sid says they stopped him but he turned them down.
Tag Titles: Nasty Boys vs. Legion of Doom
The Nasties are defending and this is No Countout/No DQ, making it a street fight in modern terms. The champions are sent to the floor and the fight is on early. Back in the ring Animal hits a quick powerbomb on Knobbs for two followed by Hawk enziguring Sags down. We get down to the stupid tagging part of the street fight with Sags sending Hawk to the floor and hitting him with a bucket of water.
Back in and Knobbs works over Hawk in the corner before Sags sends him into the steps. A back elbow gets two for Knobbs and a top rope version gets the same for Sags. Brian goes up top again but jumps into Hawk’s boot, finally allowing for the hot tag off to Animal. Everything breaks down and Sags hits Animal in the back with Jimmy’s helmet for two. Hawk steals the helmet and lays out both Nasties, setting up the Doomsday Device on Sags for the pin and the titles.
Rating: D. This SUCKED as the street fight rule was barely used at all. It was little more than a few shots with the helmet when the referee wasn’t looking anyway. Hawk and Animal barely broke a sweat out there as they were already talking about the Natural Disasters earlier tonight instead of worrying about winning the belts. This win was a long time coming though.
The Mountie is put in a cell by some VERY sweaty policemen.
I.R.S. vs. Greg Valentine
Uh…..sure. Feeling out process to start so Gorilla recaps the show so far. Valentine takes over with a quick shoulder block and a clothesline. Somehow we’re nearly two minutes into the match with this much action. IRS rolls to the floor as Gorilla says Undertaker and Jake Roberts might be here. Back in and Valentine slams him down, sending IRS right back to the floor.
The tax guy heads in again and puts on an abdominal stretch followed by a jumping clothesline for no cover. Off to a chinlock before IRS misses a knee into the corner, giving Greg the opening on the leg. The Figure Four is quickly broken by a grab of the ropes and a second attempt at the hold is countered into a small package for the pin by IRS.
Rating: D. The match wasn’t even that bad but it had no business being on a pay per view. This would be the equivalent of the Divas match on a modern show to give the fans a breather between the big matches. Valentine was long past his point of being a star but he could still put people over like he did here.
Buy Hulk Hogan’s PPV, which is a Best of Hogan show. I’ve heard of worse ideas.
Hogan and Warrior talk about their victims in the main event.
Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan
Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.
Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.
Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.
Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summerslam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?
Hogan and Sid pose for a long time post match.
Mountie is in jail and a fat biker hits on him.
Hogan and Sid are STILL posing.
We get the video of Savage proposing to Liz and her responding with an OH YEAH. We also get a four minute music video highlighting their entire history together to a sappy love song.
The ring is set up like a chapel for the wedding. Savage comes out in a shiny tux with a big feather on his hat. Heenan: “Why is the second most important guy called the best man?” From what I’ve read this is a legit renewal of vows as the two were already married in real life. There isn’t much to say here other than it’s a wedding and no one interrupts it. This takes like ten minutes.
With the show in the arena done we go to the reception with Savage telling Heenan to beat it. Gene Okerlund does the ceremonial toast. They have the first dance and everything seems to be fine. Now we eat cake before heading over to the gift table where things get interesting.
First off, “WE GOT A BLENDER!!!” Savage freaks out as only he can as you would think he just got the WWF Title instead of a blender. Liz goes to open a present…..and there’s a cobra inside. She freaks out and Savage tries to pull her back, but Undertaker comes in and bashes him in the head with the urn. Jake Roberts comes in and holds the cobra in front of Liz’s face until Sid makes the save with a chair to end the show. This would set up Roberts vs. Savage in the feud of the year which resulted in Undertaker’s face turn.
Overall Rating: C-. This is an interesting show in that the first half is a much higher quality than the second half. The second half has all predictable matches where the winners were never in doubt, but that doesn’t exactly make it terrible. The show is definitely entertaining and set up a lot of stuff down the road while launching Bret Hart up to the next level. It’s worth a watch if you can find it in full but I wouldn’t expect to be blown away.
Ratings Comparison
British Bulldog/Ricky Steamboat/Texas Tornado vs. Warlord/Power and Glory
Original: D
Redo: C+
Bret Hart vs. Mr. Perfect
Original: A+
Redo: A
Natural Disasters vs. Bushwhackers
Original: C-
Redo: D-
Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase
Original: B
Redo: D+
Big Bossman vs. The Mountie
Original: D
Redo: D+
Legion of Doom vs. Nasty Boys
Original: D
Redo: D
Irwin R. Schyster vs. Greg Valentine
Original: D+
Redo: D
Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan
Smackdown Date: July 5, 2001
Location: Tacoma Dome, Tacoma, Washington
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jim Ross
This is another old request as I try to knock some of my way too long list down. We’re very early into the Invasion and Steve Austin is currently out due to an injury and is sitting in Vince McMahon’s office singing campfire songs with Kurt Angle, who has basically decided he’s Austin’s best friend. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Torrie Wilson trying to seduce Vince to get a contract, only to have Linda catch them in a scene that wasn’t very funny. This is in no way a reason for Vince to get physical with Torrie Wilson in a swimsuit top.
Opening sequence.
Tag Team Titles: Chris Jericho/Spike Dudley vs. Dudley Boyz
Bubba and D-Von are defending as Spike tries to find someone to help fight off his brothers, who don’t like him dating Molly Holly. This is another sign of the times as you would just have random title matches on TV instead of spending weeks setting up a title match on pay per view. D-Von and Jericho start things off with Jericho scoring off some chops. A springboard dropkick sends D-Von outside and Spike dives on both Dudleys. Well the other Dudleys that is. I can assure you he didn’t dive on himself.
Back in and Spike plays D-Von in What’s Up to D-Von but the Dudley Dawg is easily broken up. It’s time for Spike to get beaten down, including an awesome double flapjack to send him crashing to the mat in a great looking landing. D-Von misses a middle rope legdrop and the hot tag brings in Jericho to clean house. Jericho can’t keep the Walls on though as D-Von makes a quick save, leaving Spike to come in instead. A quick 3D ends Spike to retain the titles.
Rating: C-. That flapjack alone makes this match go up in value. I mean Spike just slammed into that mat and landed on his face. How can you not love that? Jericho vs. the Dudley Boyz wasn’t the most interesting feud and it didn’t do much other than fill in a little time before he moved on to the big time with the invasion.
Jericho clears the ring post match.
Austin and Debra come in to see Vince, who rants against Torrie for what happened on Monday. Debra blames Vince but Austin has a present to make things better. Vince opens the big red box and it’s……a cowboy hat. Austin has one of his own but Angle comes in and feels left out. There’s one more box though and it’s a smaller hat, just for Kurt, who has never been happier. Austin looks like he wants to kill him. Then why did Austin buy the hat? This was an awkward phase of comedy but they’re nailing the timing and it’s actually really funny stuff.
Earlier today the WWF and WCW referees got in a fight, which actually set up a pay per view match for reasons I don’t want to comprehend.
Crash Holly vs. Jacqueline
Crash knocks her around to start but they head outside with Jacqueline sending him shoulder first into the post. Back in and we hit the armbar for a bit before Crash gets two off a northern lights suplex. Crash gets crotched on the top and a super hurricanrana gives Jacqueline the pin.
Rating: D-. This was a stretch when Jacqueline was wrestling various men despite there being no real reason to see her do so. Basically it was a way to show off how awesome she was (quite the stretch) and, again, no one was really all that interested. This would happen from time to time and the fact that it never lead anywhere didn’t seem to change much.
Trish (looking GREAT here) comes in to thank Jeff Hardy for saving her from Big Show. Lita and Matt come in to make her leave. Jeff thinks there’s nothing wrong with this, which might have something to do with Trish kissing Matt last week.
We look back at Austin, Angle and WCW wrestler Buff Bagwell beating down WCW World Champion Booker T. Austin and Angle beat Bagwell down and threw him outside.
Various wrestlers, many of them who used to work in WCW, laugh at Booker for taking such a beating. Booker says he’s ready to defend his title tonight.
Vince gets a summons about a settlement with Linda. Austin blames Angle and wants his hat back but Angle calls him an Indian giver.
WCW Cruiserweight Title: Billy Kidman vs. Gregory Helms
This is a WCW match complete with graphics and Scott Hudson and Arn Anderson on commentary. Helms used to be Gregory but we can’t have two Shanes on the roster. The announcers talk about Booker defending the WCW World Title tonight and ignore the match to really make this feel like something out of WCW. Helms is sent to the floor and taken down with a dive.
Back in and Kidman is hiptossed out for a big crash. Anderson rips on the cowboy hot segment as Kidman gets beaten down even more. A BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two but the shooting star misses. The Nightmare on Helm Street gets two and a modified Kid Crusher (basically the Killswitch) gives us a new champion.
Rating: C+. The match was what you would expect from these two but the crowd just did not care and I can’t really blame them. These fans have no reason to care about WCW or its titles because that’s not what they came here to see. Kidman and Helms are very talented but there’s no connection to them for the WWF fans. Build these guys up under the WWF banner and then do the big war.
Vince blames women for his problems and Debra is incensed. His plan is to explain to the people and everything will be ok. Angle thinks telling the truth is the answer, just like he learned in the Boy Scouts.
Christian has Edge’s King of the Ring trophy ready for Edge’s Intercontinental Title shot tonight. Apparently Edge would rather Christian stay in the back though and Christian looks disappointed. You can see the split coming and it’s really well done so far.
Here’s Vince to talk about what’s been happening to him recently. See, when you die you leave a good or a bad reputation behind. Linda would like you to believe that he has a bad reputation because he’s a womanizer and a skirt chaser. Just for the record he wasn’t going to go that far with Torrie because he was just testing her loyalty. Yeah that’s it. On July 23 he has to appear before a judge about division of assets with Linda and right now he’d like to say he’s sorry. Vince drops to a knee and apologizes to everyone and IS THERE A POINT TO THIS COMING ANYTIME SOON???
William Regal and Tajiri come out and beg Vince to get up because it’s not his fault. Vince hugs Regal and we cut to Austin and Angle looking stunned. It’s not Vince’s fault that women are so attracted to him or that he’s a self made billionaire. He’s Vince McMahon and he’s proud of it. Again, if anyone can explain the point of this to me, I’d love to hear it and tell you that it’s nothing more than an excuse for Vince to take up more TV time.
Hardy Boyz vs. Big Show/Billy Gunn
Apparently Billy and Big Show think everyone is against them. Right. Billy charges into an armdrag and Matt grabs an armbar. It’s off to Jeff (wearing a hat) for two off Poetry in Motion. Big Show and his one piece women’s swimsuit come in for the Alley Oop (lifts Jeff for a powerbomb but falls backwards to send Jeff face first into the mat). Show takes a ridiculous amount of time going to the middle rope, allowing Jeff to avoid an elbow drop.
The hot tag brings in Matt (European Champion, which isn’t important enough to mention until nearly the end of the match) who is quickly launched out to the floor. Lita uses the distraction to hit the hurricanrana on Billy, allowing Jeff to hit a missile dropkick on Big Show. The Twist of Fate/Swanton/legdrop crush Show but Billy comes back in with his cobra clutch slam to give Show the pin on Matt.
Rating: D. For the life of me I do not get the obsession with pushing Billy Gunn outside of his most popular character. He’s just a guy who has a look and almost nothing more. If Big Show and Billy Gunn are the best they can do for a tag team at this point, they might as well just have the Hardys feud with Edge and Christian and the Dudleys forever because there’s nothing worth seeing here. Well other than Lita of course.
Vince tells Angle/Austin/Tajiri/Regal that he’s taking the night off and going to a bar. Actually, Tajiri can come with him. I’m assuming Tajiri will put a shirt on at some point. The two of them leave so Austin and Angle can yell at Regal for hugging Vince without their permission. Austin and Angle get in an argument over who makes the other sicker.
Intercontinental Title: Albert vs. Edge
Believe it or not (and I’m not sure why you wouldn’t), Albert is defending. You can tell how much this match matters as the video during the entrances is about Undertaker (who challenges for the title on Monday) vs. Diamond Dallas Page. Before the match, Edge rips on Albert’s X Factor theme (I always liked it) to tick the monster off. Edge has to fight out of the Baldo Bomb (chokebomb) but eats a bicycle kick square to the hands.
We hit a backbreaker, which Tazz informs us works on the back. A torture rack neckbreaker gets two for the champ and it’s off to a bearhug (which also works on the back). Albert misses a splash and Edge grabs the Edge-O-Matic for no cover. Instead he goes up and scores with the missile dropkick but Albert hits him low and grabs the Baldo Bomb to retain.
Rating: C. I have no idea why but I remember thinking Albert was a cool choice for the Intercontinental Title. It wasn’t going to last much longer as it would be sacrificed on the altar of the invasion but at least they gave the belt to someone fresh. You can only have Jericho, Angle, Edge and Benoit hold the thing for so long before it’s time for some new blood.
The locker room apologizes to Test for beating him up (as they thought he was a WCW mole) when Austin comes in to tell them to get together and fight the bacteria that is WCW. They can start tonight by beating up Booker T. Angle praises Austin and says Steve could beat up Booker T. and everyone else in this room, thereby screwing up the plan. Austin stares at him and throws his hat down.
Scotty 2 Hotty vs. Dean Malenko
Scotty is recently back from an injury. Malenko has Perry Saturn and Terri with him. Things start fast with Scotty armdragging Dean a few times but missing a dropkick. Malenko starts in on the leg but the Cloverleaf goes on too close to the ropes. Scotty’s rollup gets two but he gets knocked to the floor with a clothesline but Dean is down as well. Cue Saturn with Scotty’s hat to try the Worm on Dean (just go with it), only to have Scotty come back in and hit the real thing for the pin.
Rating: D+. Uh….yeah. Saturn being insane was funny and stayed entertaining enough for a long time though Malenko having character stuff like this wasn’t the best idea. I mean, it’s better than having him be a ladies man and all that (save for the Lita vignettes) but he really wasn’t cut out for the WWF in general.
A WCW referee wishes Page luck but Page talks about wanting to go after Undertaker and/or Kane.
We look back at last week’s Tough Enough. HHH will be on the show after Smackdown tonight and gave a speech that I believe talked a buddy of mine out of wanting to wrestle.
Austin yells at Angle and Debra about various things and is ready to beat up Booker T. Angle wants to bounce Booker around like a pogo stick so Steve sends him out to break Booker’s ankle. Angle: “Hold onto my hat.”
WCW World Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Booker T.
Page is challenging and it’s another full on WCW match. By that I mean WCW logos with graphics nowhere near as good as the company had and a commentary team that never did commentary for them. Page jumps the champ during his entrance but gets elbowed out to the floor in something that looked edited. Back in and the Diamond Cutter is broken up but Booker gets dropped face first onto the buckle.
They head outside again with Page being thrown over the announcers’ table and then into the crowd despite a lack of any real personal issue between them to warrant this kind of violence. Page takes over and stomps on Booker’s hand back inside. A good looking Batista Bomb gets two on Booker and sets off his comeback, including the ax kick. Page bails to the floor and sends Booker into the steps before grabbing a chair. The referee is shoved down (DQ? Anyone?) and a DDT onto the chair gives Page two. Cue the Undertaker for a distraction and Booker rolls Page up to retain.
Rating: B-. Good match and all but again there’s almost no reason for the fans to care. As far as WWF fans are concerned, these are brand new wrestlers who just happen to be fighting over a title. I’m sure a lot of them know who these two are but that doesn’t mean they want to see a title match here. If they did, they probably would have watched Nitro more often.
Undertaker chases Page off and here’s Angle to go after Booker. An ax kick puts Angle down and there’s a belt shot to the face.
We go to the parking lot where the WCW guys jump Undertaker but can’t even knock him off his feet. Eight guys pounding on him and barely having any effect should tell you all you need to know about this story. They FINALLY get him down but WCW owner Shane McMahon comes in for the save, only to have Page beat him up too. Booker calls them off and gets beaten down as well to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. The show wasn’t bad and the Austin/Angle comedy stuff is oddly hilarious but this WCW story is clearly dead in the water. You can blame it on probably a dozen factors but a lot of it comes down to people not wanting to see WCW wrestlers on the WWF show. If I didn’t want to watch WCW with all of its star power, why would I care about Booker T., Diamond Dallas Page as a character so different from what made him famous and then everyone else that just happens to be there? Things are only going to get worse from here but they’re really not off to a good start.
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Monday Night Raw – November 29, 1993: The Good Thing About The Kliq
Monday Night Raw Date: November 29, 1993
Location: Westchester County Civic Center, White Plains, New York Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
We’re past Survivor Series and thankfully this was taped after Survivor Series so we don’t have some lame stand alone show to fill in time before the next taping. Now it’s that weird place where we need to start getting ready for the Royal Rumble but it’s still several weeks away so we can’t quite get there yet. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Steiner Brothers vs. Mike Khoury/Reno Riggins
Scott throws Mike around to start and gives him a dragon suplex of all things. Rick beats up Riggins a bit and it’s back to Scott for an armbar. The Steiner Screwdriver makes Heenan cringe (rightfully so) before the Frankensteiner puts Khoury away.
Rating: C. Any match that has the Screwdriver in it makes me smile, even if it probably broke half of Reno’s neck in the process. The Steiners were just such a dominant team and I’m surprised they didn’t get to hold the titles longer. That being said, they were always more of a WCW team than a WWF team but their run was always cool. They wouldn’t do much more but they would have several months to go in the company.
BUY THE REPLAY!
Jeff Jarrett can’t get a meeting at a talent agency. Is this going ANYWHERE anytime soon?
Razor Ramon vs. Diesel
Non-title. Diesel shoves him into the corner a few times to start as Heenan talks about Rio Rogers (a Dusty Rhodes knockoff). Some knees to the back have Razor in even more trouble and there’s the running crotch attack with Razor over the ropes. A side slam gets two and we hit the bearhug. This really does show you how much better Diesel got in a hurry as he’s gone from a boring match here to some good stuff with Razor the following year.
There’s the big boot (which made great contact) followed by Snake Eyes for a delayed cover. Diesel charges into a boot in the corner and Razor’s middle rope bulldog (formerly the Hall Buster in the AWA) gets two. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn Michaels runs in for the DQ.
Rating: C. I know the Kliq gets a lot of flack but they really did have good matches against each other. I’m fairly sure this was the first time these two wrestled (certainly the first time on TV at least) and they had a pretty good power match with the screwy ending being necessary to protect both guys.
The 1-2-3 Kid saves Razor.
Bam Bam Bigelow vs. John Crystal
Crystal actually gets in a few shots to start as Heenan makes fun of Gorilla Monsoon. A hard clothesline stops that offense and it’s time for a neck crank. Bigelow slams him and demands Doink get out here. An enziguri finishes Crystal with ease.
Rating: D. Bigelow was kind of a weird fit at this point as he was being treated as a bigger star than he used to be but wasn’t really doing anything. Somehow this would result in a Wrestlemania main event about a year and a half later because wrestling really is funny that way. Not bad so soon after the Four Doink match disaster.
On Wrestling Challenge, Santa Claus gave Doink a miniature clown (in a bag) named Dink. See there can’t be more than one Doink (because it would create chaos) so he was named Dink instead.
Vince is in the ring to present the Superstar of the Year Award. In November? Anyway Vince brings out Lex Luger as the runner up, which is rather impressive considering he didn’t really do anything all year. Luger thanks everyone who voted for him and congratulates the winner for everything he’s accomplished. With that he brings out Bret Hart as Heenan thinks he’s in line for the REAL trophy next year. Bret is honored to win and knows he has a lot of challenges left to achieve. The award is dedicated to everyone who has stood by him and this isn’t really going anywhere.
We see the end of the Hart Family vs. Shawn Michaels and his Knights with only Owen being eliminated. This would be the very early stages of Owen’s heel turn and amazing series against Bret.
Owen Hart vs. Chris Duffy
In a change of pace, Owen wears Bret glasses and gives them to a fan ala his brother. Owen dropkicks him down and hits a legdrop as we get a WE WANT BRET chant. This seems to get on Owen’s nerves as he backdrops Duffy for no cover. Duffy is sent to the floor and taken out with a plancha. Back in and a missile dropkick sets up the Sharpshooter to complete the squash.
Heenan can’t get an interview with Owen.
Scott Taylor vs. Ludvig Borga
That would be Scotty 2 Hotty. Taylor avoids an early elbow and has almost no effect off a dropkick. One heck of a clothesline turns Taylor inside out and Borga chokes him with one arm. Borga torture racks him for the fast submission.
The 1-2-3 Kid accepts a challenge to face Shawn next week.
Overall Rating: C-. Some better wrestling helps this one a lot though it might have more to do with less Quebecer singles matches. They’re certainly back to the stand alone/lower level shows at this point which makes every week a lot more hit or miss than the times where we’re building towards the big shows. You can also see the rise of the Kliq starting to take shape and that’s a mixed bag to say the least.
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Monday Night Raw – November 15, 1993: Let Freedom Ring
Monday Night Raw Date: November 15, 1993 Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
The big story this week is a fan voted match with Lex Luger facing Pierre the Quebecer in a match that really isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Other than that we find out who will be the replacement on the All Americans now that Tatanka has been injured. That’s quite the cool moment so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Savage going nuts and attacking Vince to go after Crush last week.
Opening sequence.
Savage has been suspended from commentary for a week in a logical move.
Razor Ramon vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Non-title. The referee won’t let the Brawler hit Razor with the title to start so Ramon shrugs off the early offense and punches him down. An atomic drop slows Ramon down as we hear about Shawn Michaels returning to the company. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Brawler ducks his head like an idiot, setting up the Razor’s Edge for the easy pin.
Crush is very happy with costing Savage his broadcasting job.
Headshrinkers vs. Mike Bucci/Mike Maraldo
Bucci would later be known as Nova/Simon Dean. Fatu headbutts Bucci around to start as the announcers talk about Savage being gone this week. A double headbutt puts him down as we’re firmly in squash territory here. Unfortunately this leads to a discussion of the Four Doinks, which would be the only match I ever turned off in the middle of a review because it was horrible. A double Stroke sets up Samu’s top rope splash to squash Bucci for good.
Rating: D. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan as they’re such a simple gimmick but they knew how to make it work. Their face run was a lot more entertaining but at the moment we’re stuck with them as your run of the mill island savages. On the other hand it’s always cool to see someone like Bucci as a fresh rookie before he became a fairly well known name.
We go back to Superstars over the weekend with the announcement of Tatanka’s replacement on the All Americans. That would be…..the Undertaker, who says he’ll fight with them against these Foreign Fanatics. He opens the coat to reveal an American flag and says let freedom ring in a really cool moment.
Pierre vs. Lex Luger
Pierre is one half of the Tag Team Champions. Luger whips him across the ring a few times to start and gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backdrop on the floor gets two for Luger and we take an early break. Back with Luger working on the arm but some left hands get Pierre out of trouble.
Luger gets up but Pierre’s manager Johnny Polo grabs the leg (with the referee not only seeing him but yelling about it), allowing Pierre to send him into the steps. A Vader Bomb gets two on Luger and Heenan is shocked at the kickout. He does realize it was Pierre right? Pierre puts on a bad looking reverse chinlock but Luger powers out as we take a break.
Back with the hold on again and a piledriver getting two on Lex. A really weird looking top rope legdrop (with Pierre trying to spin around to drop the other leg instead of the one you would expect) gets the same and it’s time for Luger’s comeback. Some right hands and a slam off the top set up the flying forearm to finish Pierre off. Heenan’s rant about all the metal in the arm is great.
Rating: D-. This is really on whoever decided to put Pierre in this match as there was no reason to think he could handle a nearly fifteen minute match on his own. There’s a reason you put him in a tag team so a veteran like Jacques can carry a lot of the work but it was basically suicide to put him out here and ask him to carry half of a match.
Post break Jacques and Johnny have trouble waking Pierre up.
Diesel vs. Sid Garrison
Oh yeah Diesel is still a thing. Diesel powers him into the corner with ease and a neck crank fills in more time. A big boot and an elbow drop of all things put Sid away.
Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when I forgot that Diesel was a thing at this point but that’s what you have to expect when Shawn was put out of action just a few months after Diesel debuted. There really wasn’t much of a point to do anything with him which explains his fairly random association with IRS at Survivor Series.
Survivor Series control center. There’s not much here other than the announcement that Pierre has a concussion and may be out of the main event.
We wrap it up in Nashville with Jeff Jarrett yelling at I think the record producer (as portrayed by the future Jacqueline). He’ll be fine despite the lack of backup though.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad. Survivor Series is almost here but they’re not exactly hitting the ground running with one change after another. Undertaker is a good addition and Pierre is a better subtraction but they need to just announce the teams already and be done with it because these constant changes are getting really annoying to keep up with.
One more note: there is no November 22 show as Survivor Series was two nights later. Instead there was a clipped version of a big special called Survivor Series Showdown which aired the night before. For reasons I don’t quite understand, this was listed as a lost episode of Raw, which I think had something to do with getting to Raw 1000. It was finally aired on WWE.com a few years back and it was actually pretty good. Here’s the link if you’re interested:
Monday Night Raw – November 8, 1993: DOWN GOES VINCE!
Monday Night Raw Date: November 8, 1993
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage
We’re creeping towards Survivor Series and hopefully things are better this week after such a disaster last time around. The big story is of course the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans and tonight we’ll be seeing Ludvig Borga vs. Scott Steiner in a preview match. Let’s get to it.
Borga talks about how much he hates America so Steiner says he doesn’t like Borga talking about how much he hates America. Well no one ever accused this of being the most exciting era.
Opening sequence.
Heenan is wearing what looks like a parachute because recently someone parachuted into a big boxing match. As usual, topical jokes really aren’t funny. Savage promises to destroy Crush if he gets the chance.
Vince plugs a phone number where you can select Pierre’s opponent for next week. Your options are: Doink the Clown, the 1-2-3 Kid or Lex Luger. After that obvious set of choices, Vince pulls the cord on Bobby’s parachute, which he has on backwards.
Scott Steiner vs. Ludvig Borga
Borga jumps him before the jacket can come off and scores with a good looking top rope clothesline. Scott demonstrates the American abilities to suplex foreigners, followed by a pumphandle slam to send Ludvig to the floor. We hit the pause button while Borga yells a lot, followed by a shot of Savage yelling about Crush again. Borga grabs a headlock as Savage rants about not caring about legal issues, even promising to slap Jack Tunney if it means he can get his hands on Crush.
Steiner avoids an elbow drop but here are the Quebecers to offer Borga some advice. Vince: “This is patently absurd!” Back from a break with Steiner suplexing him back inside as Rick Steiner comes out to even things up a bit. Borga finally makes the ropes to break up a Boston crab so Scott goes with a bad looking top rope dropkick for two. Rick gets on the apron for no logical reason and Borga pulls him inside. The Quebecers get in as well and the match is thrown out.
Rating: D+. This didn’t go anywhere and you knew they were going to have the big nothing finish as soon as Rick came out there. Borga could have been a great heel if he hadn’t been as crazy as he was but he was really cool while he lasted. Scott wasn’t a great singles guy anymore at this point but he was still a very appropriate choice to face Borga here.
Jeff Jarrett is still in Nashville and it’s time to go to the Grand Ole Opry. Country music is corrupt or something. This turns into a discussion of Undertaker being in shambles. Jarrett just keeps going and it gets worse and worse every minute as no one cares in the slightest.
Men on a Mission vs. Steve Smith/Cory Student
Mable is still dancing when Smith taps him on the shoulder for no logical reason. That earns him a trip around the ring before a double dropkick (with maybe one foot combined making contact) puts him down. Mo’s sunset flip gets two on Student (what a name) as the announcers make jokes about an upcoming USA movie. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the double splash puts Student away.
Rating: D. I never know what to say about these squash matches as they’re just beatings until we get to the inevitable pin. Men on a Mission were entertaining in a way but they haven’t exactly aged well. It doesn’t help that Oscar is one of the worst wrestling rappers this side of PN News.
We go to the Survivor Series control center as we run down the card, including the Hart Family facing Jerry Lawler and his Knights, which of course wouldn’t happen. Bret can’t wait to get his hands on Lawler for everything he’s said about the family.
Still in the control center, we see the Headshrinkers finding out that they’ll be facing a pair Doinks. Oh just……no.
Undertaker tells us that drinking and driving is bad. That’s not something you expect to see.
Rick Martel vs. John Paul
Martel starts with the usual as Vince speculates that Savage might replace Tatanka on the All Americans team. Paul grabs a headlock but gets suplexed down. Martel ducks a middle rope cross body and the Boston crab wraps it up in a hurry.
Crush vs. Dan Dubiel
Vince immediately has to calm Savage down by waistlocking him but Savage THROWS VINCE DOWN! IN 1993!!! Savage erupts on Crush with referees and suits not being able to break it up.
Bob Backlund vs. Barry Horowitz
How weird is it that Backlund is still around nearly 23 years after his comeback in his forties here? They trade armdrags to start before Backlund takes him down with ease. Cue Savage back to the announcers’ desk as the technical display continues. And never mind as we cut to Crush breaking out of his locker room, sending Savage to the back. They fight onto the streets as the match is completely forgotten to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s nice that they have a direction going towards Survivor Series though the ridiculous amount of changes they’re making to the card isn’t doing them any favors. The big match wasn’t exactly thrilling but Savage vs. Crush is a hot angle that they somehow waited five months to blow off. Not much of a show here but 1993 isn’t the best time.
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Checked Out The Resurrection Of Jake The Snake Roberts
It’s actually better than it was advertised. If you’re interested in seeing someone completely broken and brought back to what he should be, this is more than worth checking out. The scenes with Jake breaking down about how much he’s wrecked his life just like his dad did are amazing and really do make you see how bad it was for him.
Above all else though, it shows you that Diamond Dallas Page might actually be a saint. You can put people in rehab all you want but there’s something about that personal connection and individual work that makes this come together. Yes Roberts and Scott Hall have had some issues since but they’re both so far and away ahead of where they were that it’s almost impossible to believe. This really does make you believe that anyone can get better and that’s the important thing.
Smackdown – July 26, 2016: The Big Problem
Smackdown Date: July 26, 2016
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: David Otunga, Mauro Ranallo, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re into the new era of Smackdown now and it should be interesting to see where they go now that they’re all on their own. Given who they have on the roster, there’s a chance we’ll have to get some new titles or at the very least some new stars to challenge for the titles that already exist. Let’s get to it.
Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon are in the back and say this new era is all about us as they walk into the arena.
Just like Raw, there’s a new intro accompanied by new music.
The roster is around the ring with the bosses inside. Shane talks about how we have the only WWE Champion here so it’s time to find a new #1 contender. Dean Ambrose comes out to say he’s ready for a new challenge and has Smackdown Live fever. Tonight there’s going to be a Six Pack Challenge for the right to face Ambrose at Summerslam. Included in that match will be:
John Cena
Bray Wyatt
Dolph Ziggler
AJ Styles
Baron Corbin
That leaves one spot open so let’s have a battle royal right now for that final position.
Battle Royal
Kane, Tyler Breeze, Fandango, Apollo Crews, Konnor, Viktor, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, Kalisto, Zack Ryder, Jey Uso, Jimmy Uso, Erick Rowan, Alberto Del Rio, Mojo Rawley
The camera has a slightly different camera angle, starting from over the cover and down a bit lower instead of the stationary shot. Kane throws out Gotch and clotheslines Ascension out to start clearing out the ring early on. Breezango gets together to eliminate Jey Uso and we take a break.
Back with Rowan and English having been eliminated, leaving us Breeze, Fandango, Kane, Del Rio, Crews, Kalisto and Ryder. I didn’t bother listing Rawley as he was eliminated a few seconds after we came back. A double clothesline gets rid of Del Rio and Kane throws out Breezango to get us down to four. Everyone starts taking shots at Kane but Crews seems to injure his knee on a standing shooting star.
All four are down for a bit until thankfully Crews gets up fine. A clothesline sends Ryder to the apron and Kalisto hits Salida Del Sol on Crews. Ryder goes up for the Elbro but slips off, only to have Kane do the dramatic sit up. Kane dumps Kalisto with ease and Ryder follows him out, leaving Kane and Crews. Apollo backflips out of a chokeslam and low bridges Kane out for the win at 12:45.
Rating: C. The ending really does this match a lot of good and teasing Kane winning made it even better. Above all else though they kept this moving very quickly and didn’t overstay the welcome as so many battle royals do. Crews isn’t likely going to win the Six Pack Challenge but it’s a nice win to get him noticed.
Crews says he won’t celebrate until he wins the main event.
Shelton Benjamin is coming back.
Dolph Ziggler is ready to break through the glass ceiling. You can’t be a multiple time World Champion and still complain about the glass ceiling.
Natalya vs. Becky Lynch
Battleground rematch because those are still a thing in the new era. Becky takes her to the mat for a bit but gets run over by a shoulder. Natalya flips to her feet and slams Becky off the top as we take an early break. Back with Becky jawbreaking her way out of a chinlock and getting two off a guillotine legdrop. The Disarm-Her is broken up and Nattie By Nature gets two. The slow motion Sharpshooter that is only designed to be countered is countered into the Disarm-Her to make Natalya tap at 10:21.
Rating: C-. I don’t know any other way to put this but Natalya is really dull. She wrestles the exact same match as a heel that she wrestled as a face and there’s really no motivation for her other than something that happened a few weeks ago and now she’s a villain basically in name only. It doesn’t help that these two don’t have the best chemistry, especially when they’re the best in the Smackdown division.
Post match Becky says you can call her Becky Balboa (No.) but is interrupted by Alexa Bliss who says this is what the new era looks like. This is followed by the returning Naomi, Carmella (almost no reaction) and Eva Marie, who comes out with a voiceover like a movie trailer, listing off every possible positive attribute about herself. It’s really corny but I actually liked it, even though Eva didn’t say anything.
Baron Corbin says he’ll win.
It’s time for MizTV with special guest…..The Miz. He brags about how awesome he is (well duh) until Randy Orton interrupts. Orton thought Miz was talking about him with all those accolades and agrees that Miz is awesome. Miz brings up the upcoming Brock match and Orton is ready to take Lesnar to Suplex City because he’ll be taking Brock to Viperville. Orton suggests a match against Miz tonight and he’ll even make it non-title so Maryse accepts for her husband.
Randy Orton vs. The Miz
Non-title. They’re quickly on the floor with Miz stomping Orton down, throwing him back inside, and then whipping him into the steps. Back in and the RKO knocks Miz silly for no cover. Instead Orton stares at the entrance and slowly gets up before slapping the ropes a bit. Miz has been down for about two minutes before getting up to take a second RKO for the pin at 4:53.
Rating: F. Oh screw you WWE. Smackdown has almost nothing and you have Miz lose to one move with almost half the match spent on him standing up after the RKO. You know who would have been perfect for this spot? Kane. He’s established, he’s tough, he loses NOTHING by taking the loss and it makes Orton look like he can beat a monster. This was stupid and one of the things that ticks me off more than any other nonsense WWE pulls.
Video on American Alpha. They’re here next week. Well I mean they were here earlier but we don’t have time for the hottest tag team act in a long time. I mean, aside from New Day of course.
A jobber is in the ring for a match when Heath Slater comes in and knocks him out. Slater isn’t happy that he wasn’t drafted to either show and wants to be in the main event. He starts a SIGN HEATH SLATER chant and the fans actually go along with it. Cue Shane McMahon to say Slater needs to send in his resume. Slater says his resume would say he was the brains behind the Nexus, the Corre (there’s a name I never thought I’d hear again) and the Social Outcasts. As Slater rants, Rhyno of all people sneaks up behind him for a Gore.
AJ thinks Smackdown is against him because he’s too good. Why else wouldn’t the Club have been drafted together and why else would he have to fight five guys at once?
Bray Wyatt says it all revolves around him and tonight he’ll have the whole world in his hands.
John Cena vs. AJ Styles vs. Apollo Crews vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Baron Corbin vs. Dolph Ziggler
One fall to a finish, no tags and the winner gets a shot at Ambrose at Summerslam. We take an early break and come back with Bray and AJ double teaming Crews with the other three down on the floor. That lasts about as long as you would expect it to as Bray takes AJ’s head off with a clothesline, only to be dropkicked down by Ziggler. AJ adds a springboard 450 with Cena diving back in for the save. Crews comes back in with rolling German suplexes on AJ, only to walk into an STO of all things from Corbin. Baron throws on a chinlock, which really shouldn’t be seen in a six way match.
We go to another break and come back with stereo Towers of Doom (because that’s how wrestling works) and Corbin getting two off Deep Six to Crews. Apollo’s toss powerbomb gets two with Bray pulling the referee out. The Zig Zag should finish Bray but there’s no referee. Cena finally remembers he’s in this match and AA’s Ziggler and AJ with the latter getting two.
Crews and Wyatt take AA’s as well but Corbin takes a bit more to get up and elbows his way out. And scratch that as the second attempt works, only to have AJ springboard in with the forearm. Styles turns right into a superkick though and Ziggler gets the very surprising pin at 16:12.
Rating: C+. ZIGGLER??? Of all the people you have here you pick ZIGGLER??? I mean I know this lets you have Styles vs. Cena and…..well that’s about it actually. Yeah Smackdown needs new stars but the best they can do is having Dolph Ziggler’s main event push brought out of mothballs? I don’t hate it but I’m going to need to see a lot more of this before I accept Ziggler as a top challenger.
Shane, Bryan and Ambrose come out and say nothing to fill in the last four minutes of the show.
Overall Rating: C. This show’s main issue is it followed last night’s great Raw. It’s certainly not a bad show and they did some good things (Crews getting a push, setting up the title match, the women showing up) but on the other hand you have Orton’s completely needless destruction of Miz, Heath Slater and Rhyno instead of American Alpha (which at least gives you something to look forward to next week so it’s not all bad. This show set left a lot to be desired but it’s certainly not terrible. The problem is Smackdown didn’t look great in the first place and now those suspicions are even more confirmed.
Results
Apollo Crews won a battle royal last eliminating Kane
Becky Lynch b. Natalya – Disarm-Her
Randy Orton b. The Miz – RKO
Dolph Ziggler b. AJ Styles, Apollo Crews, John Cena, Bray Wyatt and Baron Corbin – Superkick to Styles
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Summerslam 1990 Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper
This is a personal favorite of mine as I’ve probably seen this show upwards of 40 times. It was the first tape I ever owned and I went through at least two copies. We have a double main event tonight with Hogan returning to face Earthquake and Ultimate Warrior defending the world title against Rick Rude in a cage for the final blowoff in their rivalry. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look at the fans coming into the arena and buying merchandise.
Now we get a traditional intro with Vince shouting about the double main event.
Rockers vs. Power and Glory
Power and Glory (Hercules and Paul Roma) get a jobber entrance. The camera immediately goes wide during the opening brawl so you don’t see Shawn’s knee get grazed by Hercules’ chain. His knee was REALLY badly hurt at this time so he’s just here for an appearance, making this a handicap match for all intents and purposes. Marty hits a quick dropkick to both guys and gets a small package on Roma but Slick has the referee.
Vince is freaking out over the referee missing stuff as Marty clotheslines Herc to the outside. We officially start with Roma vs. Jannetty and Roma tagging his way out of a sunset flip. Shawn is still on the floor as Hercules pounds away and slams Marty down. Roma plants Jannetty with a backbreaker for two but Marty comes back with a powerslam. The top rope fist connects with Paul’s head but Hercules breaks up the pin. Roma sends Jannetty into a clothesline from Herc as Shawn is screaming in pain. The superplex/top rope splash combo is enough to finish the massacre of Jannetty.
Rating: C-. The match wasn’t too bad all things considered. The crowd is white hot here and they carried the match to a higher level than it could have reached on their own. It’s kind of a shame that Marty had to be Shawn’s partner as his own skills were overlooked by his far more talented partner.
Post match Shawn finally gets into the ring but Marty covers his injured leg and takes a beating himself. Shawn is taken out on a stretcher.
Mr. Perfect isn’t worried about the Texas Tornado because he’s perfect. Tornado had been around for only a few weeks if even that coming into this. Heenan says Texas Tornadoes never do any damage because you can see it coming from a mile away.
Texas Tornado says that Perfect doesn’t know anything about Texas Tornadoes. They’re powerful and devastating, and tonight he’s going to go back into the clouds with the Intercontinental Title. I’ve always liked this promo: it’s short, it’s to the point, and it ties into the character name. Short and sweet. Note that Tornado is wearing yellow trunks here, just like Perfect. He’d change to white for the match
Intercontinental Title: Mr. Perfect vs. Texas Tornado
Tornado launches him into the corner to start and Perfect has a breather on the floor. The idea is that Perfect hasn’t had time to plan for Tornado and doesn’t know how to deal with him. Back in and Perfect hooks a quick hiptoss but Tornado slams him down and clotheslines Perfect out to the floor.
Back in and Perfect hits a clothesline of his own and the necksnap has Tornado in trouble. Off to a sleeper on Tornado but he quickly makes the rope. Perfect tries slapping him in the face, but Tornado pulls him into a slingshot, sending Perfect head first into the post. The Claw hold and Tornado Punch are enough for the pin and the title.
Rating: D+. This is a weird one as it’s about three and a half minutes of stalling before the fast ending. This was supposed to be Brutus Beefcake’s shot but he injured his face in a parasailing accident and Tornado was here as a surprise, which is likely why they went with the title change. Perfect would get the title back a few weeks later.
Mean Gene is talking about Sapphire being nowhere in sight (remember that as it becomes important later) when Hennig and Brain come in and say Tornado cheated by sending Perfect into the post. Heenan swears, yes SWEARS I SAY, that the shoulder was up at two.
Sapphire vs. Sensational Sherri
Sherri has on something like a big Mardi Gras mask which terrified me as a kid. Not that it matters as there’s no Sapphire. The music plays again but there’s still no Sapphire. Sherri says count to ten and then ring the bell. There’s still no Sapphire so Sherri wins by forfeit.
Dusty Rhodes isn’t sure where Sapphire, his chick, is. The idea is that Sapphire has been getting a bunch of gifts and no one knows who is sending them. The benefactor is scheduled to be revealed tonight. In what can only be described as a bizarre and random cameo, Jim Duggan pops up, says he hasn’t seen Sapphire either, and walks away. Dusty lists off the gifts (ring, bracelet, fur coat, Cadillac etc) and that’s about it.
Warlord vs. Tito Santana
Piper makes Mexican jokes as Tito grabs a headlock. Warlord easily shoves him down and Piper suggests going for a taco. Three straight dropkicks send Warlord out to the floor for a consultation with Slick. Back in and Tito pounds away but is launched to the outside on a kickout. Warlord rams Tito’s back into the post as Piper does a horrible Slick impression. Back in and Warlord pounds on the back but Tito fires off a quick clothesline and right hands. The flying forearm hits out of nowhere but Warlord gets his foot on the ropes. Back up a few seconds later and a powerslam abruptly ends Tito.
Rating: D+. Tito was a jobber to the stars at this point and made Warlord look as good as he could have, but the match was nothing special at all. Warlord just wasn’t all that good other than having muscles on top of muscles. Tito also jobbed to Barbarian at Wrestlemania so they had an idea of what they were using him for at this time.
Ad for Survivor Series. That show SUCKED.
Demolition says it’s going to be a surprise combination of them facing the Hart Foundation for the titles. Sean Mooney asks them about a match with Legion of Doom, giving us this joke from Crush: “They’re just a couple of second rate imposters.” It’s funny if you know your history.
Demolition has their entrance and it’s Smash/Crush. The Hart Foundation says they don’t care which combination they were going to face.
Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition
This is 2/3 falls and Demolition is defending. Basically the Harts have about as much chance coming into this as I have at being Miss America 1974. Bret starts with Smash but the Harts knock Crush to the floor before anything gets going. Things settle down and Bret gets a quick rollup for two. Anvil comes in to crank on Smash’s arm before Bret comes back in with a fist to the back. Smash tries to get into a technical match with Bret and gets caught in an armbar for his stupidity.
Smash finally slams Bret down and brings in Crush, only to have Bret avoid an elbow and pound away. Crush charges into a boot in the corner and gets rolled up for two before it’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, only to have Crush kick Jim in the back to give the champions the advantage. Crush comes in again and misses a charge into the corner, allowing for another double tag to Bret and Smash. Neidhart falls to the floor as everything breaks down. Smash is whipped into Crush and Bret gets two off the middle rope elbow but here’s Crush again. The Decapitator to Bret is enough for the first fall.
The second fall begins with Crush hitting a hard clothesline on Bret and Smash pounding on the chest. After a quick neck crank by Crush, Bret fires off the Hart Attack clothesline on Smash, allowing for the hot tag to Neidhart. A powerslam gets two on Smash and Bret launches Anvil into Smash in the corner. The Hart Attack takes Smash down but Crush breaks up the pin for the DQ to make it 1-1. Why they didn’t let the Harts get the pin there is beyond me.
During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.
The idea is that Ax and Smash look so much alike that the referee can’t tell them apart. This is fine except for one problem: THEY DON’T LOOK ALIKE! Ax is taller, heavier set and has a rounder head, not to mention a deeper voice. This reasoning never made sense to me as a kid and it still doesn’t to this day.
Anyway the fresh Ax destroys Bret and gets two off Bret’s chest bump in the corner. Anvil comes in sans tag as Smash takes Ax’s place again. They try to switch again and the Legion of Doom come out to break it up. Smash goes after Hawk and Animal as Anvil shoulder blocks Crush into a rollup by Bret for the pin and the titles. The place comes unglued as the Harts have shocked the world.
Rating: B. That’s probably a bit high but I love this match. The wrestling is just ok but the storytelling is as good as you’ll get in a tag match with the LOD coming out to even things up, allowing the Harts to finally do the impossible and win the titles. This is a popular match among old school fans and if you watch it you’ll see why.
Wrestlemania VII ad, with Vince promising over 100,000 fans. “Terror threats” prevented this from happening, which is WWF speak for “the Los Angeles Coliseum would have been half empty so we’ll move it to an arena.”
The LOD goes on a big rant about how they’re the real thing and Demolition is living in their world. The Harts come in and say they’ll fight anyone anytime.
Demolition wants to get their hands on the LOD.
Sherri has hear rumors about Sapphire and thinks she might be a UFO and not that stupid. It’s a rather strange interview and we’ll leave it at that. Basically Sapphire has done something that Sherri thinks is smart.
Nikolai Volkoff and Jim Duggan are proud to be international tag team partners. We’re in intermission if that wasn’t clear.
Earthquake and Dino Bravo brag about putting Hogan on the shelf. Big Bossman, Hogan’s friend of the month, will be no problem for Dino. Jimmy Hart says Bossman and Hogan will leave on side by side stretchers.
Jake Roberts says he isn’t afraid of Bad News Brown’s sewer rats. The snake keeps wrapping around Jake’s throat in a creepy visual.
Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown
Big Bossman is guest referee for no apparent reason. Brown jumps Jake before Bossman is in the ring but has to bail out of a DDT attempt. Back in and Bad News tosses Jake down and gets two off a legdrop. Jake tries the DDT a second time but Brown bails to the floor again. Roberts follows him out and gets hit in the ribs with a chair which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Back in and Bad News pounds away as Piper asks if Vince has ever smelled Brown. Jake avoids a middle rope elbow and hits the short clothesline but Brown backdrops out of the DDT. Another chair shot to Jake is good for the lame DQ.
Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere and I’m still not sure why Boss Man was in here at all. Jake and Brown didn’t do anything else after this and Brown didn’t go after Boss Man after the feud, so I guess he was there as an enforcer for reasons not important enough to explain. The match was just ok.
Brown tries to drop a leg on the snake but Bossman makes the save. Bad News beats him down as well but Jake pulls the snake out of the bag to chase Brown off. This was Brown’s last major appearance in mainstream wrestling.
Demolition yells a lot.
Time for the Brother Love Show with a REAL American as his special guest: Sgt. Slaughter. This would be the start of his heel turn as he didn’t like the idea of Nikolai Volkoff becoming an American and wants America to be how he liked it. Slaughter gives Love the Great American Award and declares WAR on Volkoff, while also saying that Sadaam Hussein would destroy America in a real war. Somehow this took nearly ten minutes.
Mr. Fuji says his Orient Express will leave big red marks on Volkoff’s head.
Gene sees Sapphire go into a dressing room and lock the door behind her.
Orient Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Jim Duggan
Duggan and Volkoff sing God Bless America and get jumped in a twist on the old foreigners’ gimmick. We start with the small Tanaka trying to match strength with Volkoff. Vince: “That wasn’t too bright.” Piper: “Yep, real dumb.” You can’t make it any simpler than that. Sato kicks away at Volkoff a bit but it’s hot tag to Duggan who cleans house and finishes Tanaka with the three point clothesline. This was nearly a squash.
Sapphire won’t open the door for Dusty but Rhodes swears he’ll figure this out tonight one way or another.
Macho King Randy Savage doesn’t care about Rhodes being out there alone and says he understands Sapphire’s decision to leave a common man. I’m a big Savage fan and the energy he puts into his promos always impresses me. He’s got NOTHING to talk about here and he was going nuts anyway.
Dusty Rhodes vs. Randy Savage
Before the match we hear a familiar laugh and cut to Ted DiBiase on the interview platform. He’s been spending the last several weeks telling Dusty that he has a price just like everyone else but Dusty has kept turning him down. Tonight, someone else had a price: Sapphire, Ted’s latest purchase. Ted’s latest gift to her is a bag of money which is hard to pass up. DiBiase brings up the most obvious point to the story: who else could afford to pay for all the gifts Sapphire has been getting?
Rhodes charges at DiBiase but Savage jumps him from behind to start the match. Back in and Savage hits a top rope ax handle for two. Dusty comes back with some elbows but his heart isn’t in this. He has to stop to chase Sherri though, allowing Savage to knock Rhodes out cold with Sherri’s loaded purse for the pin. This was nothing.
DiBiase leaves his suite but bails with Virgil and Sapphire as Dusty arrives. This would start a long feud which would include the debuts of Undertaker and Dustin Rhodes and Virgil’s face turn.
Hogan says that he can’t tell a lie because he’s like George Washington. He loved his Hulkamaniacs for supporting him and remembers Tugboat for leading the charge until Earthquake and Bravo beat him down. Bossman says that Quake and Bravo have the Constitutional right to a beating tonight.
Hulk Hogan vs. Earthquake
This is Hogan’s big return after being gone all summer due to an attack by Earthquake which broke his ribs. They lock up but Hogan can’t shove the big man around. Now Quake shoves him down a few times as Jimmy is losing his mind. Quake shoulders him out to the floor and Hogan takes a breather with Bossman. Back in and Hogan tries pounding away but Quake sends him into the corner to take him back down. Hogan gets a boot up in the corner and nails some clotheslines but Quake won’t go down.
After knocking Bravo and Hart off the apron, Hogan finally drops Earthquake with the big windup punch. All four guys get inside and the heels both take big boots to the face. The referee puts Bossman out though, allowing Bravo and Quake to hit a double slam on Hogan. A big elbow drop keeps Hogan down and a top rope forearm (from the 468lb Earthquake) to the back has Hogan down again. Off to a Boston Crab but Hogan tries to push his way out. That doesn’t work so Hogan looks to his left and realizes he’s about four inches from the rope for the break.
Bravo gets in some cheap shots on the floor but Earthquake misses an elbow drop back inside. Hogan finally gets to his feet (sidenote: Roddy Piper should not be allowed to cheer for Hogan. Ever.) but falls back down on a slam attempt. Off to a bearhug by Earthquake as the match slows down. Hulk punches out of it and tries a cross body like a schnook, earning the powerslam he gets as a result. Earthquake drops a pair of Earthquake splashes (seated sentons) but Hogan gets up at two to shock the crowd.
It’s Hulk Up time and there’s the slam but Dino distracts the referee after the legdrop. Jimmy comes in but gets tossed at Earthquake, sending everyone to the floor. Hart accidentally hits Quake with the Megaphone and Hogan slams the big man onto a table (it’s in Philadelphia after all)….for a countout? For the life of me I have no idea why Hogan didn’t get a pin here. I guess they wanted to save that for house shows, but it’s not like people wouldn’t want to see Hogan do it again live.
Rating: B-. The match itself was nothing of note but this is exactly what the fans wanted to see other than Hogan getting a pin. These two feuded on the house show circuit for the next four months or so, which really is amazing when you consider how basic the angle was that set it up. This falls into the fun category which is fine for a show like this.
Post match Quake chokes Hogan until Bossman blasts him in the back with a STEPLADDER. Quake finally drops him and looks at Bossman so the cop pulls out the nightstick to chase them off. Lots of posing ensues as you can see the house show rematches with any combination of these four guys being made up.
We go to the back where Rude and Heenan talk about Rocky Balboa facing Apollo Creed. Rude has beaten him before and he’ll do it again because a cage is his kind of match. Heenan says there will be no sequels either.
Dusty goes on a rant about being in a storm with only America being able to offer him shelter. He doesn’t have a price for Ted DiBiase and he’s coming for the Million Dollar Man. The feud would have been better if Sapphire hadn’t disappeared after this show.
Lord Alfred Hayes talks about the cage being constructed and how it’s put together. It’s more interesting than it sounds.
Hogan brags about winning and says there’s a fourth demandment: believe in yourself. He wants the world title back and will beat Earthquake as many times as it takes to be #1 contender again.
Vince and Roddy talk about Hogan vs. Earthquake happening again.
Earthquake, Hart and Bravo say the war isn’t over for Hogan and Bossman.
The Warrior rants about Rick Rude being cracked like the Liberty Bell. He says he’ll win and quotes some historic documents to continue the Philadelphia theme.
WWF World Title: Ultimate Warrior vs. Rick Rude
In a cage where you can win by pin or escape. Rude tries to block Warrior from getting into the cage so Warrior knocks him off the top and down into the ring. The champion finally comes in with a top rope ax handle smash and throws Rude into the cage. Rick goes into the cage a few more times but ducks a charge to send Warrior face first into the bars. Rude kicks Warrior away but jumps off the top to put him down again instead of climbing out.
A hard slam into the cage has Warrior down but Rude still won’t try to climb out. Rude tries the Rude Awakening after winning a quick slugout but Warrior easily breaks the hold with raw power. They clothesline each other down before Rude hits a quick Rude Awakening for no cover. Instead Rude goes up to the top of the cage for a right hand to Warrior’s head. Heenan is losing his mind trying to get Rude to cover but Rude goes up the cage again.
This time Rude jumps into a right hand to the ribs but Heenan slams the door on Warrior’s head as he goes to escape. After the two count both guys collide and they’re down again as the match drags some more. Warrior stops him from crawling out while pulling Rude’s trunks down in the process. Heenan is pulled in and whipped into the steel before being sent outside again. The champion Warriors Up and hits the gorilla press before climbing out to retain.
Rating: D. This match sucked and the ending was exactly what people expected. These two had a match on SNME a month earlier and maybe Rude should have taken the title there to give it back to Warrior here. There was nothing of interest here and Warrior never seemed to be in any real danger due to Rude not going for a cover or trying to escape.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a show where the individual parts don’t reflect how the whole show comes out. This is a turn your brain off and have fun show. The main events were exactly what the fans wanted and the other stuff is fun as well. There was a show long angle with Dusty which set up another feud on top of all that. It’s a good example of how not everything needs to be a huge show that changes everything and that’s a good lesson for modern WWE to learn.