Impact Wrestling – December 29, 2015: Not That It Matters
Impact Wrestling Date: December 29, 2015
Hosts: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
It’s the second half of the Best of 2015 show, meaning this one is likely to focus on Bound For Glory and the tournament. Last week’s show was kind of all over the place so it could be interesting to see what they do with this. There’s always a chance of a lot of promos for next week too. Let’s get to it.
Josh and Pope get right to the point and send us to Matt Hardy challenging EC3 to a Full Metal Mayhem match.
From August 5.
TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Ethan Carter III
Carter is defending in Full Metal Mayhem, which is TNA’s version of TLC. The champ takes over early on with a chair to the back before sitting down so he can punch Matt from eye level. That earns him a Side Effect through the chair and it’s already ladder time, which goes upside Ethan’s face. The ladder is laid across the middle corner so Carter can be rammed face first as Matt is in full control.
It’s time to go up but it’s WAY too early on, allowing Ethan to chair Matt in the leg. Why would you ever go up that early on? Back from a break with Matt breaking up Carter’s attempt at the belt by sending Ethan down into the buckle. Matt isn’t done yet as he drives the ladder into Ethan’s crotch to prevent another generation of Carter’s from populating the earth. That’s still not enough for Matt to get the title so he plants Ethan with the Twist of Fate.
A moonsault through the table is broken up with a quick crotching and a powerbomb through the wood but Matt is up again with a powerbomb of his own to break up Carter’s climb. They head outside with Matt bridging a ladder between the steps and the ring, only to get slammed head first onto the ladder. Since we haven’t had enough near climbs yet, Matt makes another save and hits a Side Effect onto the apron.
A guillotine legdrop drives Carter through the table on the floor but Matt takes way too long to climb, allowing Ethan to chair him in the leg. They already have to repeat spots for the saves? Carter climbs up, shoves Matt down and pulls the title off the hook to retain at 20:10.
Rating: B. Fun enough match but there was no reason for this to involve ladders and weapons other than so TNA could have a match involving ladders and weapons. It’s their first match against each other for the title and they used the big gimmick already. Matt became #1 contender for thrown together reasons and that’s not how you want to have a major match like this. It was fun, but I have no desire to watch it again. At least Carter won on his own for a change too.
We look at Mahabali Shera splitting from James Storm.
From May 29.
Dirty Heels vs. Wolves
This is match #2 in a best of five series with the Wolves up 1-0. Roode throws Aries through the ropes for a suicide dive to start but Davey runs inside for a dive of his own on Aries. The Wolves double team Roode inside until Austin gets back in and things settle down a bit. Edwards chops away at Aries but Austin punches him in the face, setting up a tag to Roode for chops of his own.
The Heels (who aren’t heels) load up what looked like a Sharpshooter but Aries gets kicked into his partner, allowing the Wolves to double team even more. Davey puts Rode into a reverse figure four (with Roode facing the mat and Davey facing up) for a unique looking submission. The German suplex into the jackknife rollup gets two as the announcers are overhyping the heck out of this. Eddie puts Roode in a chinlock for a bit until Bobby fights up and makes the hot tag to Aries.
Austin speeds things up and snaps both Wolves’ throats across the top, setting up a missile dropkick to Edwards. There’s the Last Chancery on Davey and a Crossface to Eddie but both Wolves make the ropes. Something like Chasing the Dragon but with a Michinoku Driver instead of a brainbuster gets two on Aries but he pops right back up for the running dropkick in the corner, followed by the 450 to Eddie with Davey making the save. Another Last Chancery has Edwards in trouble but Richards comes in off the top with a double stomp for the save, setting up the powerbomb into a Backstabber to pin Austin at 11:09.
Rating: B. This was straight out of the indy playbook with the entire match being action from bell to bell. That sounds cool on paper, but between everything going all over the place and Josh telling us about two minutes in that this was a classic and something we were going to remember forever, the match kind of dulled on me very quickly. It’s definitely fun, but I prefer building up to the insane finish instead of just having it run the entire match.
Clips of Jeff Jarrett’s Hall of Fame induction.
Clips of Mr. Anderson beating Bram on August 19.
Recap of the GFW heel turn, setting up the war with TNA.
Very quick clip of Lethal Lockdown with TNA beating GFW.
Clip of Tigre Uno winning the X-Division Title.
Clip of EC3 beating Matt Hardy again to earn Jeff Hardy as his personal assistant.
Clip of the Dollhouse beating up Gail Kim in a cage.
We see Brooke winning the Knockouts Title.
Clip of Team Young winning the Hardcore War and Young stealing Chris Melendez’s leg.
We look at some of the things EC3 has put Jeff Hardy through.
Another video on Storm vs. Shera.
From September 16.
Knockouts Title: Brooke vs. Lei’D Tapa vs. Awesome Kong vs. Gail Kim
Brooke is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Gail and Brooke go after the giants to start and are quickly thrown to the side. Tapa and Kong slug it out until Brooke and Gail beat on Tapa for a bit. Kong adds a splash and we take an early break. Back with Tapa dropping Gail face first off the barricade but Kong dives off the apron to crush Tapa with a cross body.
Gail and Brooke fight in the ring until Kong misses a charge at Tapa and takes out the champ. Tapa slams Gail down inside but Kim kicks away at the knee. Kong comes back in with a top rope splash to Tapa. Brooke’s top rope elbow hits Kong and all four are down. The giants are sent to the floor, leaving Brooke to try a sunset flip on Gail, who sits down on it for the pin and the title at 12:21.
Rating: C-. Who else? Who else could it have been but Gail Kim? She fits in so perfectly with the theme of the same tired ideas that we’ve seen dozens of times in TNA as they seem to be on their last legs (the most recent time that is), so why not just put the belt on her again so she can bore the fans to sleep one last time.
We see the ending of Kim beating Kong at Bound For Glory.
Clip of the Revolution finally splitting and Shere beating Storm.
We see the end of Ultimate X from Bound For Glory.
Matt Hardy won the World Title at Bound For Glory.
We wrap things up with a five minute highlight reel of the tournament.
Overall Rating: D. Well that happened. This was even more random than last week with the tournament, as in the last quarter of the year, barely being touched on until the end of the show. I get the idea that it’s a Best Of, but they can’t even show a few matches from the tournament? Josh raved about how great Edwards vs. Richards was for a month and it gets three seconds in the highlight package? This was another bizarre set of choices, but to be fair none of that is going to matter after Tuesday when the tournament wraps up.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – December 28, 2015: Pay No Attention To The Roster At The House Show
Monday Night Raw Date: December 28, 2015
Location: Barclay’s Center, Brooklyn, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’ll wrap up the year with John Cena making his return after a few months off to film a reality show. Tonight Cena is facing Alberto Del Rio in what sounds like a non-title match, meaning we’re likely to see another champion lose again. It should be interesting to see if Cena is going to have a mini feud with the League of Nations or if it’s just going to be a one off match. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence. They really need to update the video due to all the current injuries.
Here’s Vince McMahon to open things up. He’s here to settle a score with Roman Reigns so here’s the champ in a hurry. After seeing clips of what Roman put Stephanie through last week, Vince yells at Roman for embarrassing his family last week. Nobody turns their back on a McMahon and embarrasses them, including Roman Reigns.
Roman can’t just say everything to anyone he wants because this is Vince’s ring and Vince’s company. Reigns says Vince is just a crazy rich guy. Vince: “I’m a freaking billionaire. There’s a difference.” The champ says Vince doesn’t own this title because it belongs to him and his supporters. Vince doesn’t think Reigns is going to be champion that long and here’s a DANIEL BRYAN chant, only to have Vince tell them to shut up.
Now it’s CM Punk as Reign asks if he’s going to be in a handicap match or a gauntlet match. Vince brings up the Wild Samoans and making Afa wrestle every night to ruin him while making a fortune. As for Roman’s dad Sika, Vince used him up and paid him peanuts for all the work. Roman shoves him down and Vince holds his neck, demanding someone help. This brings out a concerned Stephanie, meaning we get ACTING!
She tells the security guards to arrest Reigns but they say no because they’re not her personal police. If Stephanie doesn’t step back, she’s going to jail instead. That means a YES chant but Vince is back up. Vince tries to calm the cops down but winds up grabbing one by the shoulders, earning Vince an arresting. The cop reads him his rights as Stephanie goes on about how they can’t do this. Reigns is just kind of there on the side as all this is happening.
During the break, Stephanie yelled at the cops a lot more.
Cole: “We’re not sure what the charges are at the moment.”
Neville vs. Kevin Owens
Neville kicks him down and almost immediately loads up the Red Arrow. That goes nowhere so Neville rolls him up for the pin at 24 seconds.
Owens destroys him post match.
Post break Neville is still being helped out. Owens runs back down and takes Neville’s head off with a clothesline. He loads up the powerbomb on the floor but Ambrose runs out for the save.
Clips of John Cena co-hosting the Today Show.
Rock will be at Wrestlemania XXXII.
Becky Lynch talks about moving to New York City with no money and getting a chance to fight in Brooklyn tonight.
Sasha Banks vs. Becky Lynch
Before the match, Sasha says the real best town in the world is of course Boston. Naomi gets in a few jabs at Brooklyn as well but Tamina doesn’t get to say anything. Well at least it’s not all bad. Becky chases her to the floor to start before grabbing an armbar to slow things down. Sasha runs the corner for an armdrag but Becky starts going after the knee. A reverse figure four has Sasha in trouble but Tamina pulls her to the ropes.
Becky gets tired of the numbers game and baseball slides Tamina down, setting up a huge top rope dive to take all of them out. We come back from a break with Becky cranking on an armbar, only to get caught in the corner for the knees to the back. Sasha puts her foot in Becky’s back and pulls on the arms but stops for UNITY! The fans think this is boring as Sasha stays on the back with a legdrop.
Back up and Sasha botches something that looked like a headscissors, only to send her into a 619 position. Becky avoids a charge though and sends Sasha into Naomi and Tamina. Sasha doesn’t seem to mind as she tries the Bank Statement but can’t flip Becky over. An exploder suplex into the corner gets two and the fans are wanting this to end. Cue Tamina to try to get in, allowing Naomi to kick Becky in the head, setting up the Bank Statement, only to have Becky reverse into the Disarm-Her. Sasha rolls through as well though and grabs the trunks for the pin at 15:39.
Rating: C+. Too many botches and WAY too much Tamina and Naomi here but the ending sequence worked. The other problem here was the lack of timing. The thing to remember is these two got their start in WWE wrestling long NXT style matches but then had to switch to short form stuff. Asking them to go back to the long stuff here isn’t easy and the timing showed badly.
Vince has been booked and we have a goofy mugshot.
Renee Young is outside the police precinct and has little to report.
Kofi Kingston vs. Kalisto
This is the birthplace of the trombone so it’s time for some songs! Actually no because Francesca (the trombone) reminds Woods that these fans didn’t vote for New Day as Tag Team of the Year. Kofi goes on a rant about how New Day will come over and fight kids who don’t listen to their children. This causes Big E. to roll around laughing so Woods shouts “HE’S ROFLING!”
Cole thinks this might be a high flying match. Just a hunch of course. Kofi grabs a wristlock to start but Kalisto flips him into the corner and springboards up into the corner for a wristdrag. A headscissors takes Kofi down again and there’s the corkscrew cross body into the hurricanrana driver. No count though as Kalisto has to dropkick Kofi into Woods and Big E. Cara takes them both down, allowing Kalisto to grab a hurricanrana for the pin at 2:48.
Post match Woods challenges Sin Cara to face Big E. right now. Well after the commercial of course.
Sin Cara vs. Big E.
Joined in progress with Cara getting out of the abdominal stretch but taking a hard backdrop. A moonsault is caught in mid air, only to have Cara send him out to the floor. Big E. pulls him off the apron for a huge crash, meaning it’s time for some sweet Francesca. The referee comes over and brings in the doctor to check on Cara but the match continues.
Big E. asks about the shoulder and runs Cara over to make sure it’s ok. We hit another abdominal stretch for a bit before Big E. charges into the post. A cross body staggers E. and a standing moonsault gets two. Cara actually gets him into the corner for a rolling senton but Woods comes in for a distraction, allowing the Big Ending to put Cara away at 5:20.
Rating: D+. It’s hard to grade a match where a guy seems to have been hurt so early on. Even at his best though, Cara is a far cry from Kalisto as the fire really isn’t there in his singles matches. It really didn’t work here though and I’m not sure how much of that is to blame on the bad arm.
Here’s Miz for his year in review. We’ll start on January 1 with his New Year’s Resolution but here’s Ryback to interrupt. He’s had his fill of MizTV but here’s Goldust to interrupt as well. He doesn’t think Miz is going to win a SAG Award or an Oscar or a Golden Globe but before he can go anywhere with that, here’s Zack Ryder to a ROAR. Zack talks about 2016 being his year but Miz has something else to talk about.
Miz: “On January 2nd….” This brings out R-Truth to interrupt with a speech about trying to be voted Superstar of the Year. Miz points out that the Slammys were last week and Truth remembers winning one. Truth: “I need to get one of those daily planners.” Miz tries to keep going but here’s Heath Slater for yet another interruption.
Before he can say anything, Big Show comes out to knocks Slater cold. Show takes out everyone but Truth is smart enough to lay down. He looks up though and eats a chokeslam, leaving only Ryback and Big Show standing. Show throws him out as well and mocks the fans for telling him to retire. Therefore, he’s entering the Royal Rumble and wants to be #1.
Ryback vs. Big Show
In case you didn’t see this enough earlier in the year. Ryback gets thrown around to start but hits a quick middle rope dropkick, only to have Show drop under the bottom rope. It’s a countout to give Ryback the win at 2:56.
Dean Ambrose/Usos vs. League of Nations
No Del Rio here. Sheamus dedicates this match to Vince and headlocks Jimmy down to start. A double dropkick knocks Sheamus to the floor and Rusev joins him off a double atomic drop and a missile dropkick from Dean. The League takes a break on the floor until Dean follows them out and stomps Sheamus down. Back to Jimmy for chops in the corner but Rusev hiptosses him down and we’ve got a bad leg.
We come back from a break with Jimmy still in trouble and Rusev putting him in a half crab. They’re doing a really good job of hiding Barrett’s injury as he’s on the apron but hasn’t had any actual contact. It’s off to Sheamus who quickly gives up a tag to Ambrose. Dean cleans house on Rusev to near silence and Jey dives onto Sheamus. The top rope elbow gets two on Rusev but Barrett offers a distraction so Rusev can superkick Dean, sending us to another break.
Back again with Rusev missing a middle rope splash and Dean tagging in Jey. The running Umaga attack gets two with Rusev making the save. Jey superkicks Sheamus but Barrett offers a distraction (again, well done on hiding the injury) to delay the Superfly splash. The Brogue Kick finally puts Jey out at 16:57.
Rating: C-. This is a tough one to grade as they had to do a lot of tricks to make this work. Having Jimmy go out with the injury made this a regular tag since Barrett can’t do anything physical due to his neck, but that made for a really awkward match as they were clearly trying to hide things. The length didn’t help either but that’s due to the brilliant idea of having a house show on the same night as Raw.
Post match Owens comes in through the crowd and sending Ambrose into the steps. A powerbomb puts Dean through the table and makes him convulse a lot.
We look back at Rock announcing that he’s going to be at Wrestlemania in case you thought that changed.
Recap of the arrest.
Renee is still at the precinct with other media waiting on Vince to come out. Here are the McMahons, because you can totally be booked and let out on bail in two hours in New York City. They bail into a car and leave.
John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio
Before the match, Cena comes out to rip on the League of Nations for not respecting the USA. He brings up the fact that Del Rio hasn’t defended the title on Raw and that he won’t defend it tonight. This brings out Del Rio to say he defends his title wherever he wants so Cena says do it here. They argue back and forth for a few more minutes until Del Rio agrees to make it a title match.
Back from a break and before the match, we get a tribute to Motorhead’s Lemmy, who passed away earlier today.
US Title: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio is defending of course. After the big match intros, Alberto starts with right hands in the corner and sends him face first into the post. We hit a quick chinlock with a knee in Cena’s back but Alberto misses a charge and crashes out to the floor. Back from a break with Cena dropkicking him out of the air and starting his finishing sequence. Del Rio breaks it up with a Backstabber and tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two.
Cena’s tornado DDT gets the same and NOW the fans are getting into it. They get back up and the AA is countered, only to have the referee get bumped. The STF makes Del Rio tap but there’s no referee, allowing the League to run out for a superkick to Cena. That’s only good for two though as Cena cleans house but gets caught by the low superkick for two. There’s the AA but the League comes in for the DQ at 14:05.
Rating: C+. You must be doing something right when you can get a Brooklyn crowd to cheer for Cena. I’m kind of glad they didn’t change the title back here as it would have been too easy of a finish for the show but Del Rio keeping the title isn’t doing it any favors. At least Cena is back though and that should help everyone.
Post match the League swarms until the Usos come out for a failed save. The League goes for chairs but Roman comes in for the real save. Reigns Superman punches Sheamus but here’s Vince to make Reigns vs. Sheamus for the title next week. With Vince as guest referee of course.
Overall Rating: D+. This is good proof of what can happen when you’re shorthanded and have to run a three hour show on your own. That being said, this could have been WAY worse and I really didn’t see it as bad as a lot of people did. It’s not a good show but given that it’s the end of the year and so many of the people weren’t there, this wasn’t all that terrible. We had to sit through a lot of time wasting though and that’s one of the worst things that I have to sit through week to week on Raw. Making it even worse made this feel like an even longer show than usual, but at least they had more of a reason this time.
Results
Neville b. Kevin Owens – Rollup
Sasha Banks b. Becky Lynch – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Kalisto b. Kofi Kingston – Hurricanrana
Big E. b. Sin Cara – Big Ending
Ryback b. Big Show via countout
League of Nations b. Dean Ambrose/Usos – Brogue Kick to Jey
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of the History of Wrestlemania at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Thunder – August 2, 2000: If I Can Have Some Serious Wrestling For A Minute
Thunder Date: August 2, 2000
Location: Hulman Center, Terre Haute, Indiana
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Stevie Ray, Mike Tenay
New Blood Rising is almost here and these shows just get worse and worse. Monday was another show where it felt like WCW was mad at us for watching them and were trying to get rid of as many remaining fans as they could. I don’t want to imagine how bad Thunder could get. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Lance Storm to open things up. Just like he did with the other titles, he’s renaming the Cruiserweight Title to the Canadian 100 Kilograms and Under Championship. That brings out the Cat to say that Storm is defending a title tonight. Storm: “Which one Cat? I’ve got a bunch of them.” Cat thinks the fans want to see title matches so tonight Storm is defending the Cruiserweight Title against Juventud Guerrera, the Hardcore Title against Norman Smiley and the US Title against the Cat himself. It’s time for the first title defense because why not have it now when you could build it up for later?
Cruiserweight Title: Lance Storm vs. Juventud Guerrera
Storm is defending and Cat dances to the Filthy Animals’ music before leaving. We’re still not ready to go though because Storm has a rule booklet saying that this has to be under Scientific Rules. Therefore, the rest of the Animals have to head to the back. On a side note, shouldn’t this be Chavo getting his rematch instead of Juvy? Storm jumps Juvy to start but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana to send him outside. A big flip dive over the top takes Storm down again but he avoids a high cross body back inside.
Not that it matters as Juvy drops him again and gets two off a falling springboard splash. He loads Storm up on top for a hurricanrana, which Stevie describes as “setting up a move here.” Storm stops a charge with a boot in the corner, only to walk into a bulldog for no cover. Instead it’s something like White Noise for two on Storm but he quickly counters a hurricanrana into the Maple Leaf to retain.
Rating: B-. Storm really can do no wrong at this point but I haven’t seen Juvy going this hard in a long time. This was a really fun fast paced match with some good looking high flying and a solid ending as Storm continues to be the best thing going in WCW at this point. How he avoided being screwed up for so long is beyond me but he pulled it off.
The announcers show us a clip from after Nitro with Kronik running in to save Booker and Sting. As in the Sting WHO WAS LIT ON FIRE and seems to be fine.
General Rection yells at MIA as he always does.
Booker arrives and Tony is shocked to see him limping.
Smooth the limo decides Skip Over needs a better name.
Here are Miss Hancock and David Flair with something to say. Hancock asks if she’s the kind of woman who would roll around in mud for a dollar. She thinks the mud might make Major Gunns look better, so here are the Misfits to interrupt.
David Flair vs. Sgt. A-Wall
Wall starts fast with a powerslam and some stomps. David tries chops and stops to strut with the expected result of being launched out to the floor. A chair doesn’t make things any better as Wall punches it into David’s face. Back in and a chokeslam through the table ends David quick.
The Nitro Girls are here (because of course they are) when an unnamed man (soon to be named Reno) comes in to yell at Siren. She says she was with the girls on Monday but here’s Shane Douglas to tell him where she really was. We can’t hear what he says but Reno isn’t happy. See, if you insist on using the Nitro Girls in stories, this is the better way: have them as plot devices to advance stories instead of having them be the story.
Skip Over gives Terry Taylor a piece of paper and Terry says he’ll make it happen.
Jeff Jarrett wants to talk to Vampiro about their elimination tag tonight but Vampiro isn’t all that interested.
Tank Abbott has written a new song for 3 Count. Freaking sweat!
Kidman vs. Elix Skipper
Apparently the paper was the new name, which also includes the moniker “Prime Time Player.” Kidman isn’t a fan and baseball slides him out to the floor. Back in and Kidman sends him into the turnbuckle but Skipper debuts the Matrix move to avoid a cross body. A headscissors puts Kidman down, only to have him come back with a dropkick to the face. Cue Shane and Torrie as Kidman grabs the BK Bomb, only to have Reno come in and lay him out with a rolling cutter (Cross Rhodes). Skipper adds the Rocker Dropper for the academic pin.
Cat promises Mike Awesome a title shot at New Blood Rising if he wins the title tonight. Point for tying up a potential loose end at least.
Shane is in the back again and calls Judy Bagwell a redneck. Bagwell attacks and they’re pulled apart.
Sean O’Haire vs. Shawn Stasiak
Chuck Palumbo sits in on commentary and we look at him as the match starts in the ring. We finally start watching as O’Haire nails a superkick, only to miss a charge in the corner. That means it’s time for generic heel offense a go-go from Stasiak as he chokes and elbows while Stevie talks about ballet for some reason. Stasiak’s Death Valley Driver is countered into a DDT but his comeback is cut short as he’s sent out to the floor.
Palumbo loads up the exercise bar but Stevie pulls him back into his seat. Stasiak gets two off a PerfectPlex (northern lights suplex according to Tony because he’s too distracted arguing with Tenay over Stevie’s level of coolness) as Jindrak and Palumbo fight at ringside. O’Haire pops back up with a spinwheel kick and the Seanton Bomb for the pin.
Rating: D+. O’Haire has talent but he’s certainly still best as part of a team at this point. Stasiak on the other hand would be better off as a driver’s education teacher somewhere in Oklahoma. The guy simply does not have it in the ring and it’s getting more and more annoying to watch him every time he gets in the ring.
Gene Okerlund is in a neck brace while talking to the Bagwells. Buff wants Shane tonight and makes jokes about his performance issues from last week. Judy swears a lot because it’s funny.
Hardcore Title: Lance Storm vs. Norman Smiley
Storm is defending and Big Vito comes out for commentary. The Canadian flag comes down again but the music stops halfway through, allowing Norman to come out with the American flag. We’re not ready yet though as the Canadian rulebook says the title has to be defended with no weapons and the match can only end via submission. Storm isn’t pleased with his dancing challenger so they trade wristlocks instead. A pinfall reversal sequence doesn’t go anywhere so Norman elbows him in the face.
Norman stops to dance though, allowing Lance to come back with a nice dropkick. Vito sounds annoyed that Norman is wrestling in a shirt but Smiley’s splash hits knees. The swinging slam sets up the Big Wiggle but the referee gets bumped, allowing Storm to hit Smiley with the American flag. The Maple Leaf retains Storm’s title.
Rating: C-. See, this is a story that makes sense and is being played out logically. Storm is a guy capable of winning any single match on his own but he needs to cheat when he has so much to do. That’s a logical, well written character and it makes for a good story. As I said before, Storm is one of the best things going today and the simple storytelling is a big reason why.
Vito comes in to break up the hold.
Torrie threatens to sue Judy if she gets in her face tonight.
Shane Douglas vs. Buff Bagwell
Bagwell starts fast by hammering away in the corner and grabbing a swinging neckbreaker. A Vader bomb gets two on Shane so Torrie trips Buff, allowing Shane to get in an atomic drop. Shane snaps (work with me here) off Three Amigos and a powerslam, followed by the Pittsburgh Plunge for two. Torrie throws in a chair so here’s Judy to start a catfight. Kidman runs in and dropkicks the chair into Shane’s face, setting up the Blockbuster to give Buff the pin.
Rating: D. These two just do not have very good chemistry together, though there’s far worse out there. The Kidman and Torrie stuff helps but Shane really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world. It doesn’t help that Buff is almost even less interesting and it’s probably about time to turn him heel again because he’s been a face long enough now.
Post match Torrie goes after Judy again but here’s Kanyon to help beat down Mama Bagwell. Buff makes the save but walks into a Kanyon Cutter onto the chair. Mike Awesome makes the real save.
After a break, Buff gets off the stretcher and says he wants to fight Kanyon tonight. Awesome says he’ll do it himself. Apparently Mike thinks Judy is good looking.
Sting tells Booker that he doesn’t have to fight on that bad leg but Booker wants to take out that sucka.
The Vince Russo interview will not air tonight because “WCW management” won’t allow it. One of the few things they actually build up and then oh forget about it because we’ve changed our mind.
Mike Awesome vs. Positively Kanyon
Awesome has one of his women with him. More interestingly though, Tony says that tickets are going on sale for Nitro on August 28 two days from now. They’re only starting to sell tickets 24 days in advance? Tickets sold for that event: about 4,600 out of about 13,000 seats. I’m sure there’s no connection there. Before the match, Mike reiterates that Judy is good looking.
Kanyon actually charges in so Awesome runs him over with a clothesline. Commentary goes silent for a bit and comes back talking about the three way at New Blood Rising. Stevie actually brings it back to focus as Kanyon hits Awesome low to slam him out of the corner. A sitout spinebuster gets two for Kanyon and a neckbreaker out of the Tree of Woe (not a Kanyon Cutter Tony) gets two more.
Kanyon lays out the referee for no apparent reason and gives a photographer (As in a guy holding a camera and taking pictures. Stevie: “Is that a photographer?”) a Kanyon Cutter. Some more production guys get the same but here’s Judy with a loaded purse to knock Kanyon silly, setting up the Awesome Bomb to give Mike the pin.
Rating: D+. Not the worst match here but Awesome’s gimmick is killing him. Kanyon’s cutters all over the place continue to be entertaining but they need to have Page come back and Diamond Cut him in half at some point. Given that this is WCW, I’d bet on them joining forces because Page respects him now or something.
US Title: Lance Storm vs. The Cat
Storm is defending one more time. Cat interrupts the national anthem one more time and kicks Storm in the face. Back in and they slug it out with Cat taking over before taking Storm down with a low blow. That’s rather lame of him. Storm’s sunset flip is broken up by dancing, a crotch chop, and a shot to the face. You can’t say Cat is just going through the motions out there.
They head outside with Storm superkicking him to take over, followed by the springboard missile dropkick (looks great as always) back inside. Cat comes back with a Feliner to knock Storm into the referee, allowing Great Muta to run in and give Cat one of the best looking dragon screw legwhips I’ve ever seen. The Maple Leaf gives Storm the easy submission.
Rating: C-. It was clear that Cat hadn’t wrestled that often and that he really shouldn’t be very often these days. He wasn’t going to be able to last much longer and that really shouldn’t be the case just four minutes into a match. Storm wrestled three matches tonight and was in better condition than Cat who wrestled once. That really shouldn’t happen but Cat didn’t wrestle much at this point so it’s a bit more understandable.
The good guys in the main event promise to win because the other four guys are player haters.
WAY too long video on Gunns vs. Hancock.
Vampiro tells Demon he’s on his own at New Blood Rising and that he wants nothing to do with Jarrett after tonight.
Jarrett calls Gene a broke neck slapnut.
Booker T./Sting/Kronik vs. Great Muta/Vampiro/Demon/Jeff Jarrett
Elimination tag. Booker is limping badly on the way to the ring. It’s a brawl to start with the good guys cleaning house and Booker’s knee being strong enough for a side kick to the face. Muta sneaks in and goes after Booker as we hear about Sting being on Vampiro with a chair. Of course we can’t see that but we do get to see Adams cleaning house inside.
High Times eliminates Muta in just over a minute. Again: why did he bother to come back? Cue Cat to go after Muta as the referee breaks up High Times to Jarrett through the table. That’s fine with Kronik as they chokeslam the referee instead, earning themselves a double elimination. Sting gets triple teamed by Jarrett, Demon and Vampiro as the match actually settles down.
Jarrett lures Booker in so they can…..not cheat in the slightest. It’s off to Vampiro to stay on Sting until a double clothesline puts both of them down. Booker comes in to pound on everyone, including an ax kick to Demon. Jarrett bails and gets counted out, followed by double finishers to give Sting and Booker the double pin to wrap it up.
Rating: D-. Leave it to WCW to give us a six minute Survivor Series match with one person walking out, two people getting disqualified and three pins. As usual, the match went by so fast that it didn’t have time to mean anything and the action that we got was mainly chaos with a quick wrestling portion at the end. Of course they couldn’t cut ANYTHING else out to give this more time either.
Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t their worst show ever and amazingly enough it was a show centered around a wrestler wrestling. It also helps that the Russo interview didn’t air, which was false advertising but probably a lot better than whatever nonsense Russo would have gone on about in his talk. The less said about the upcoming triple threat the better and it made for a much easier show this week. Not good mind you, but easier.
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WCCW TV – December 28, 1982: The Match That Launched A Promotion
WCCW Television Date: December 28, 1982
Location: Reunion Arena, Dallas, Texas
Attendance: 18,000
Commentator: Bill Mercer
I think you might have heard of this one. This show was taped three days earlier on Christmas night 1982 at the annual Star Wars show with this match main eventing the card. Fritz Von Erich had this idea about Christmas: “Once you open the presents, what else is there to do all day?” It turns out he was absolutely right as he drew over ten thousand people there for years every Christmas. In this case, Ric Flair is in town to defend the NWA World Title against local superhero Kerry Von Erich inside a cage. Special referee: newcomer and Kerry’s new best friend Michael Hayes. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the first Kerry vs. Ric match in Reunion Arena in 2/3 falls. They split the first two falls but Kerry got disqualified in the third fall. However, since there was so much controversy with three different referees involved, it was decided that something had to be done in the rematch.
Kerry says he’s never been more excited or ready physically or mentally. You would never guess by his demeanor though.
Ric, with a deeper voice than usual, says the Von Erichs are in a do or die situation. Always remember: Diamonds are forever, and so is Ric Flair.
NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Kerry Von Erich
Flair is defending and this is inside a cage with Michael Hayes as the outside referee. Von Erich is mobbed on the way to the ring as fans are pulling him down to hug him. You can tell this is back in the day as Flair is still billed from Minneapolis. Before we get going, Hayes introduces fellow Freebird Terry Gordy as the keeper of the door. It’s a very short cage too with the top standing maybe seven feet off the mat. Hayes is in the cage during the match despite being billed as the second referee.
Kerry grabs a leg to start and they hit the mat with the champion in early trouble. Ric can’t hold a wristlock as Kerry comes back with a great looking dropkick to send him into the corner. As usual, Ric loses the strike off and some Texas sized right hands give us a Flair Flop. Back up and Ric slugs away against the ropes, only to have Hayes shove him away. They’ve made a big deal out of this being No DQ though so Hayes really didn’t have a right to do that.
Von Erich reverses a suplex into the sleeper (sleep hold here) but Ric counters with a belly to back. Kerry will have none of this being in trouble thing and hammers away before trying an early Claw. Ric goes after the hand to get a breather and Hayes yells at him for no apparent reason. Back up and Ric sends him into the corner before getting in another argument with Hayes. Michael is really just being a jerk here with no justification.
Flair gets caught in an abdominal stretch before Kerry sends him face first into the cage twice in a row. We get the rub the head across the steel spot and the champion is busted. Kerry is smart enough to stay on it and you can see the blood all over Ric’s hands. Ric finally gets smart and goes after the knee. Some shots in the corner look to set up the Figure Four but Kerry kicks him away with ease.
Kerry is smart enough to hammer on the cut even more but he misses the knee drop, damaging the knee even more. Now the Figure Four goes on in the middle(ish) of the ring and Kerry is at his best calling on the fans for support. Kerry finally turns it over and the hold is broken up. With a noticeable lack of selling, Kerry is right back up and working on Ric’s knee by wrapping it around the ropes.
Ric tries to climb out and almost loses his trunks. Hayes goes after the regular referee for breaking it up and tells the guys to go at it. The Claw goes on and Flair is in big trouble but gets his foot on the rope with Hayes actually calling for a break. Again, these people have a weird definition of NO DISQUALIFICATION.
Hayes has to physically break the hold and Gordy opens the door for no apparent reason. Ric chokes Kerry in the corner so Hayes pulls him off, only to get shoved away. Hayes lays Flair out with a right hand and even tries to throw Kerry on top for the title. Kerry won’t have it that way though (stupid Texas pride) and Michael is ticked. He goes to leave with Gordy as Kerry tries to reason with him.
Using the distraction, Flair knees Kerry in the back, sending him into Hayes and knocking Michael out of the cage. Gordy thinks Kerry shoved him and slams the cage door on Kerry’s head, setting off one of the hottest feuds in wrestling history and making World Class THE place to be for the next three years.
In a weird moment, Flair covers Kerry with Hayes counting to two before Kerry kicks out and rolls onto his stomach, only to have Hayes count the three as Flair is sitting up against the ropes. The regular referee waves it off as the Freebirds leave and Flair pounds away at Kerry’s head. Kerry can barely stand so Flair keeps hammering away. The tornado punch drops Flair but Kerry is so out of it that he crawls the wrong way, forcing the referee to stop the match and retain Flair’s title.
Rating: B-. The interesting thing is the match is only a bit above ok while the angle is one of the best of all time. This is more proof that the simpler an idea gets, oftentimes the better it becomes. Here you had two people who both wanted the same thing but saw different ways to get there with one of them being unacceptable. One of them didn’t like it and that meant it was time to fight. World Class got YEARS out of that one idea and everyone made a lot of money as a result. The match is completely secondary here but it was still good.
The Von Erichs run out and swear vengeance on the Freebirds to a BIG reaction. Oh yeah you knew it was going to be big. They help Kerry out of the ring and nearly bang their heads on the bar at the top of the head.
A lot of replays take us out.
Overall Rating: A-. This was about one thing and they accomplished that goal. I find it even more interesting that people seem to forget how the match ended as most people remember the cage door slamming and the match ending as a result. That goes to show you how important the angle is compared to the match as you really could swap almost anyone in for Flair and have the same match. I could have gone for a quicker ending as the last few minutes kind of drag things down but this was everything it needed to be and gave the fans and company the biggest Christmas gift imaginable.
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Ring of Honor TV – December 23, 2015: Time To Open Presents
Ring of Honor Date: December 23, 2015
Location: Tennessee State Fair Grounds, Nashville, Tennessee Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Prince Nana
Final Battle has come and past but we’re not going to get any significant fallout from it for a few weeks now due to the taping schedule. Therefore, it’s time for another stand alone show, which could range anywhere from really fun to nothing of note. I’m to the point where I’ll give Ring of Honor the benefit of the doubt though so let’s get to it.
Will Ferrara vs. Caprice Coleman
Before the match, Coleman says he and Ferrara have both been getting mail from someone (Prince Nana) lately, but Coleman’s mail will always be thicker and always come priority. I’d advise some better insults Coleman. They slug it out to start with Ferrara sending him to the floor for a suicide dive because you’re required to have a suicide dive in a match anymore.
Ferrara grabs a chair but gets sent into the barricade instead. A hard running dropkick drives Ferrara head first into the barricade again as this is far more violent than you would expect. Back in and Caprice rolls some northern lights suplexes to send Ferrara into the corner. Will breaks up a few Sky Splitter attempts by slamming Coleman off the top, only to have both guys grab chairs. The quick duel draws a no contest at 3:23.
Rating: D+. I like the idea here but this feels like a really low level feud that isn’t going to mean anything. Ferrara is cool but Nana and the possibly reformed Embassy aren’t exactly the most thrilling plans. Coleman doesn’t do much for me either, leaving this as a fun enough fast paced brawl and little more.
Jay Lethal and the House of Truth are opening boxes to determine who are on their team in the ten man tag. They think Moose is in a big box but they get Cheeseburger instead. I like the idea here.
Here’s the House of Truth with potential new member Ken Phoenix. Martini tells him that if Phoenix impresses him in the following match, he’s officially on the team.
Donovan Dijak/Ken Phoenix vs. All Night Express
Titus and Phoenix get things going with Rhett taking him down into a headscissors. Phoenix sends Titus outside where Dijak gets in a few cheap shots, allowing Ken to baseball slide him down. Dijak comes in for the power game but throws in a superkick to keep his modern wrestler card.
It’s off to Phoenix for a bit but he doesn’t listen when Dijak tells him to tag out. Titus dodges a charge in the corner and King comes in to speed things up. A blind tag brings in Titus, who dives right into a chokeslam for two. Phoenix tags himself back in and Prince Nana is freaking out at the stupidity. Dijak gets knocked to the floor and a backbreaker from Titus sets up a corkscrew splash from King for the pin at 5:15.
Rating: C-. Just like in the opener, this was a simple story that they told well enough to make it work. Dijak seems to have the potential to go somewhere but I’m not sure how far he’s going to go as part of the House of Truth. You can tell things are going bad when the heel commentator is getting on you though and Phoenix wasn’t anything special.
Post match Martini gives Phoenix the thumbs down, earning him a Feast Your Eyes from Dijak. The House of Truth leaves and Nana gives Dijak another envelope.
Here’s Steve Corino in a neck brace to address the crowd. He’s down right now but for twenty one years, this is all he’s ever wanted to do. One day though, this neck brace is coming off and BJ Whitmer is going to pay for his sins. Steve Corino will always be an evil man and Whitmer will find that out soon enough.
Jay Lethal/Cheeseburger/Adam Page/Cliff Compton/Jay Briscoe vs. Roderick Strong/Cedric Alexander/Mark Briscoe/Moose/Matt Jackson
These partners were picked at random. Compton is better known as Domino from Deuce N Domino but he’s had a much better run in the indies as a serious guy. BJ Whitmer is sitting in on commentary. Jay and Roderick get things going with Jay grabbing a quick backslide for two. Strong can’t get a backslide of his own so it’s off to Matt vs. Page. Adam shoulders him down but Matt gives him a SUCK IT from the mat. In case you didn’t know they think they’re DX or the Kliq you see.
Off to Alexander vs. Lethal which seems to be something important. They trade shoulders to start and Jay hits one out of two dropkicks in a very fast paced sequence. Mark and Cliff come in and they agree to go fight on the floor. It’s Cliff in early control with a release belly to belly and it’s time for a table. Mark tries to grab a chair but the referee tells them to go back inside.
We take a break and come back with Lethal tagging in Cheeseburger to face Alexander, who immediately tags out to Moose. Cheeseburger tries with everything he can until Moose casually launches him into the corner. Matt comes in for some slams before Strong slams everyone onto Cheeseburger in a cool sequence. Nana: “Cheeseburger looks like a broken poodle dog!” Cheeseburger stops some charges in the corner and flips out of two suplexes in a row, allowing the tag to Jay Briscoe.
We get a big power showdown between Moose and Jay Briscoe before Moose tags out to Mark for a showdown that is probably going to headline a pay per view some day if it hasn’t already. They trade about eight boots to the face until Jay scores with a discus lariat. A standoff sends us to another double tag with Adam and Matt coming in. It’s Page getting the better of it until Moose and Matt double team him. Moose plays Nick for a double superkick and we take a second break.
Back again with Matt’s 450 getting two on Page. Strong’s team surrounds Cheeseburger and he actually fights them all off with palm strikes. Moose takes him down with a weaker spear than you would expect but the Lethal Injection drops Moose and it’s time for the parade of secondary finishers. Compton gets superkicked off the top and through a table at ringside, leaving Page to eat a suplex backbreaker and the Froggy Bow from Mark for the pin at 21:20.
Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be with everyone working hard and giving the fans something fun to end the meaningless show. Those showdowns with Briscoe vs. Briscoe and Briscoe vs. Moose were interesting and made things feel more special than they should have otherwise. Fun match here and it did everything it was supposed to do.
The winners praise Cheeseburger to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This felt like a special episode and that’s all it needed to be. I like this kind of show more than the New Japan episodes as you have some storyline advancement, even if it’s something in a low level story like Nana’s envelopes. Anyway, nice little fun show here and that’s all I was hoping for.
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Triplemania 23 Date: August 9, 2015
Location: Arena Ciudad de Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 22,300 Commentators: Hugo Savinovich, Matt Striker
This is a show that was talked about quite a bit back in the day as it featured English commentary from Matt Striker (oh yay) and Hugh Savinovich (oh….yay) but was plagued by some horrible technical issues. I’m kind of curious to see how bad things get here but it’s probably going to be even worse as I have almost no idea what’s going on coming in. Let’s get to it.
Before we get started, my usual disclaimer: my Spanish is conversational at best so there’s a very good chance I’m going to get some history or backstories wrong. I apologize in advance and I’ll be going mainly off what I’m told here and what information I can find online.
As is customary, we open with the widow of company founder Antonio Pena being introduced to the crowd.
The announcers are introduced.
Video on the history of Triplemania. In a bad sign of things to come, the video is airing on the screens and the camera is just pointed at them. The video has a Mission: Impossible theme, which is likely a tie-in to the latest movie. How did that licensing meeting go? “Hey movie studio: we want to tie your blockbuster in with a Mexican wrestling show!” I’m sure the producers were thrilled by the concept. The audio issues are already kicking in before the video ends.
An older man comes to the ring, flanked by a group of good looking women holding some flags. I believe this is another Antonio Pena tribute but apparently he’s the ring announcer, at least for the first match.
Dinastia/Drago/Goya Kong/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Mamba/Daga/Sexy Star/Mini Psycho Clown
The audio cleans up a bit during the entrances but good night this could be a long show. Sexy Star is one half of the World Mixed Tag Team Champions, Goya is about Nia Jax’s size, Dinastia and Clown are both minis and Escarlata is an exotico. After hearing what sounds like the production truck, we can barely hear Striker doing English commentary. He sounds like he’s standing five feet away from the microphone and Hugo isn’t much better.
The minis get things going with Dinastia (the Minis Champion) headscissoring Clown around with ease. Off to Mamba (who might be another exotico) vs. Drago as everything breaks down due to the lucha rules (going to the floor is the same as a tag). Dragon hits a BIG flip dive to take Daga down on the floor, leaving Mamba vs. Escarlata. Star comes in but gets armdragged down as this is all over the place. Goya armdrags down Star and Mamba before she and Escarlata load up double dives, only to stop to dance. There is no sense of order or story to this other than Goya getting quadruple teamed in the corner.
Daga launches Star onto Drago for two before it’s back to the minis. When I say back to I mean they fight while almost everyone else is in the ring at the same time. Now it’s Kong getting quadruple teamed again but she actually fights them all off (so she’s the Roman Reigns of this match?) as her teammates come in to help her a bit. Goya gives Star a Stinkface as Striker talks about the show trending on Twitter. The much smaller Daga is run over by Goya as the match has actually settled down for a chance.
Drago kicks Mamba to the floor and hits a huge corkscrew dive, allowing the minis to fight even more. Star corkscrews onto Mamba and Drago with Escarlata following. The audio starts glitching again as Goya does a dance, followed by an apron flip dive. Back in and Escarlata kisses the referee before grabbing a freaky submission on Star (as in he ties up the legs and bends her over his back) for the win.
Rating: D+. These matches have always been lost in translation for me. I know they’re supposed to be a fun mess to get the crowd going but I’ve rarely been a fan of this much insanity. Really all this made me want to do was watch Lucha Underground, though it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. This just isn’t my thing and I don’t think it ever will be.
Escarlata kisses Striker on the cheek after the match.
Referee Pepe Tropicasas gets a special presentation for what might be his retirement ceremony. It seems that he’s going to be refereeing here, despite being in his early 70s. There’s going to be a second referee in the ring though, which could either help or make things even more complicated.
Los Psycho Circus vs. Los Villanos
This is a battle of famous wrestling families with Los Villanos being VERY established veterans who you might remember from WCW. This is Villano III’s (partner of IV and V here) last match, meaning we get a video package (again with the camera just pointed at the screen) on the family’s history.
Los Villanos have titles with them but of course Striker and Hugo are too busy drooling over history to explain what’s going on right in front of them. Or maybe they do explain it but the audio issues flare up again. The Circus has a full theme entrance which is a bit more energized than the Villanos (with a combined 160+ years between them). Before the match, Villano IV says he and V lost their masks but get to wrestle with them one more time, only to guarantee to take them off post match.
Psycho (of Psycho Clown, Murder Clown and Monster Clown) starts things off with I believe IV but everything breaks down into a chop fest with Tropicasas looking annoyed. The Clowns are all beaten up as this is in slow motion so far. Striker apologizes for the technical issues as all three Villanos go for Murder’s mask. That only goes so far so they send him into the post instead before going back to the triple teaming. Just like in the first match, this is all over the place but going far more slowly. It doesn’t help that the announcers seem to have no idea who is who for either team.
Los Villanos are in full control with their ancient looking offense, meaning it’s time for another clown to start honking a horn. Now a buzzing comes over the audio feed as two Clowns dive on two Villanos. Hugo tries to explain something but the audio is almost completely drowned out by the buzzing. A triple splash crushes one of the Villanos (at least in WCW they had numbers on their attire) and Psycho hits What’s Up to make it even worse.
One of the Villanos mostly loses his mask as Striker is currently doing audio on his own. You can hear Hugo’s voice at just above a whisper but it’s impossible to make out. Striker seems to get annoyed at the fans for letting them know about the buzzing on Twitter. Striker: “Just pretend I’m calling a Killer Bees match.” Psycho and Monster break up a double superplex with cookie sheets and turn it into a Tower of Doom, only to hurt Murder in the process.
Commentary is virtually non-existent at this point, with Striker saying that makes it feel more special. I know it’s a stupid line but I can excuse it a bit in this case as he’s basically helpless out there. Two Clowns are taken out by the slowest suicide dives you’ll ever see, leaving I believe Psycho to hit Villano III with what looked like a yellow belt.
They salute each other (a sign of respect) and VERY slowly chop each other as we can hear Hugo for the first time in a good stretch. We get the “showdown” between Villano IV and Psycho, which apparently restarted this feud. The others are held back, leaving Villano IV to get in a low blow for the pin.
Rating: F. There’s really no defending this one on almost any level. The commentary issues aside, this was WAY too slow and treated as something for the live audience instead of the fans at home. I get that this is the AAA show but you’re presenting it to an American audience who doesn’t know the history and the backstory here.
They were trying to explain things, but at the end of the day you had three guys at least 50 years old beating up a much younger team and looking every bit of their age. That’s really not something I wanted to watch and it was made even worse by the buzzing. Really bad stuff here and a lot of that can’t be blamed on the technical issues.
Villano III and Villano V take their masks off, which has to be done to satisfy some wrestling commission rule. Villano III looks older than Tropicasas. Members of the Villano family come to the ring and we get a retirement presentation to Villano III and Tropicasas because this hasn’t dragged on long enough yet.
Here’s Pena’s widow again but this time she just waves to the crowd. Did I mention she’s carrying her husband’s urn?
The next match is announced as a cage match, which I believe is a surprise. It’s for the Trios Tag Team Titles, but since this is AAA, you can leave the cage at any time and it’s basically an Ultimate X match inside a cage. Only one belt has to be pulled down to win the match.
Trios Titles: Los Hell Brothers vs. Fenix/Los Gueros del Cielo vs. El Hijo de Fantasma/El Texano Jr./Pentagon Jr.
There’s quite a bit to get through here. Los Hell Brothers (Chessman (Latin American Champion here)/Averno/Cibernetico) are defending and are fighting against Konnan’s La Sociedad stable (Represented by Pentagon Jr./Texano Jr./Hijo de Fantasma (King Cuerno and Cruiserweight Champion), who you probably know from Lucha Underground. If you don’t stop reading this and go marathon the first season because it’s AWESOME.) as well as against the evil bosses of AAA.
Fenix/Los Gueros (the White Boys From Heaven, comprised of Angelico and Jack Evans, both of whom appear with Fenix in Lucha Underground as well) are just good guys who want the titles. Got all that? It’s a lot of backstory but my goodness it’s nice to see a match where I know who almost everyone is.
The entrances take their sweet time but we’re entertained by the sound testing stylings of Matt Striker. The whistle blows (yeah AAA doesn’t use a bell) and we immediately go to a wide shot of the arena, meaning we can barely see anything. The buzzing is back as Striker does a pretty good job of telling us who everyone is. Of course it’s still early in the match so it’s still everyone going at it at once but I appreciate the effort.
Pentagon drops a top rope leg to low blow Evans and it’s time for the cookie sheets. Angelico has a camera on him which could be cool if we actually went to the feed. Evans goes up for the title but is quickly pulled down into a cutter. Fenix gets quintuple stomped as Striker tells us to “use the Google” to learn about some of the names he’s dropping. Evans is beaten up and of course does flips off the simplest bumps.
Angelico fights back with his running knees but Cibernetico drops him with a clothesline. Things speed up a bit with Fenix getting backdropped, only to land on Texano with a hurricanrana. In a cool attempt, Evans flips up onto Angelico’s shoulders but can’t reach the belts. Evans goes up again but opts to dive down onto Pentagon and I believe Averno. Fantasma and Chessman climb to the outside of the cage and Chessman is knocked onto a table at ringside.
Back inside, Cibernetico spears Texano through a table, leaving everyone else to climb the cage. Most of them fall outside and it’s Fenix and Pentagon going at it inside. Fenix moonsaults off the top of the cage onto Pentagon for the insane spot of the match, which was only mostly insane. That leaves Averno and Fantasma to go after the belts but Angelico pulls himself up to fight Averno. Fantasma kicks Angelico in the face and knocks him down, only to get shoved off by Averno, leaving him to pull down the belt to retain.
Rating: C+. Match of the night by about a mile here but it’s still nothing that hasn’t been done better before. Some of the dives were good and you started to get a feel for it, but this really needed to be a six man match instead of having everyone in there. It felt like nine people who happened to be in the ring and I never got a sense that any of them had a personal issue with anyone else in the match. It’s a fun match but too chaotic to really work.
Now the Spanish audio bleeds over the English before the English disappears all together.
It’s been too long since we focused on an old guy so here’s a match dedicated to Blue Demon’s thirty years in wrestling.
Electroshock/El Mesias vs. La Parka II/Blue Demon Jr.
Mesias is Mil Muertes sans mask. He and Electroshock used to be big deals but time is passing them by. This means it’s time to fight two old guys who are loyal to AAA because why use the old guys to put over young talent when you can put over Blue Demon’s thirty year career and La Parka, who is even older?
Demon and Electroshock get things going with Demon using more old man style offense and looking like he should have retired years ago. The buzzing gets louder than it has all night and it’s off to Mesias vs. La Parka. They’re quickly on the floor and out into the crowd with Mesias getting the better of it. Mesias gets kicked outside again so it’s off to Electroshock as we’re lacking commentary again.
Back to Mesias for a right hand to the skeleton face but it’s a quick double tag to Demon and Electroshock. Demon headscissors him down and ducks a charge to send Mesias outside for the third time. It’s off to Mesias vs. La Parka for a slugout with La Parka getting dropped off a few shots to the face.
Mesias is sent outside again (ok we get it already) and La Parka hits a weak dive, leaving us with Electroshock vs. Demon again. A powerbomb gets two on Demon, followed by Demon standing there so Electroshock can chop him a few times. Demon shrugs those off, hits something like a cross body, and grabs a Sharpshooter without turning Electroshock all the way over for the submission.
Rating: D. Blue Demon is another guy that I just don’t get. He’s old, he’s slow, and he keeps getting pushed like this god for reasons that I can’t understand. The rest of the match was just kind of there and again, there was no backstory given or a reason we should care other than “BLUE DEMON IS A LEGEND!!!” I only knew the story I mentioned earlier because I saw it elsewhere online. As has been the case with this whole show, it’s all about the old guys and if you didn’t see the shows that built this one, you’re going to be mostly lost.
Demon gets a plaque. Electroshock shock comes back, flips off the fans, and then leaves again.
It’s time for the Hall of Fame inductions, starting with Hector Garza. We get his family on stage, a video package, and a bunch of statements from various legends.
Second is Perro Aguayo Jr., who passed away earlier this year.
Brian Cage vs. Alberto El Patron
Patron’s (Alberto Del Rio of course) Mega Championship isn’t on the line because Cage has already used his title shots so instead it’s hair vs. hair. Cage has Hijo de Fantasma in his corner while Alberto has Fenix. Patron comes out with a full mariachi band and a modified version of his WWE theme music. Cage one ups Alberto’s robe with a Trump 2016 shirt.
Alberto starts fast with right hands in the corner and starts pounding away with a chair. Thanks for telling us that it’s No DQ after he started swinging. Cage bails and gets taken down by a suicide dive so it’s time to pose on the table. The armbreaker almost goes on but Cage powerbombs him down for an early break. Now it’s the very muscular Cage with chair shots of his own before he wedges the chair in the corner. Really why would you do that? Have you ever watched a wrestling match before?
They head outside where Fantasma is stomping on Fenix while Cage rams Patron into the table. Back in and we get a cookie sheet upside Alberto’s head, followed by a nice slingshot splash for two. Cage really shouldn’t be able to do something like that. Cue Fantasma to choke a bloody Del Rio on the ropes but Fenix comes in for a save off some kicks. Fenix dives onto Fantasma and Striker goes on a rant about how international that was.
Cage apparently doesn’t care for it as he powerbombs Fenix against the post, sending the seconds up the ramp. Alberto grabs a quick armbreaker over the ropes for the exact same break it always gets, even though this is No DQ so there’s no reason to break the hold. Cage takes forever jumping from the middle rope to the top rope for a moonsault (again, shouldn’t be able to do that) and only hits the mat. A Backstabber gets two for Alberto but it’s time for Fantasma to send in the tables with the referee helping to set them up.
Alberto breaks up a superplex and hits the double stomp but since this is Mexico, Cage doesn’t have to sell it and sends Patron through a table instead. The low superkick gets a heel one count from the referee so Alberto gives him a backbreaker. Del Rio’s top rope hurricanrana is countered with a low blow and a super bomb through another table for two off a fresh (well as fresh as someone that old can be) referee. With nothing else left, Cage pounds away at the head with a chair, only to be sent into the wedged chair (you knew that was coming). The armbreaker makes Cage tap.
Rating: B. Match of the night by a mile here and one of the most predictable endings due to the nationalism angle but still fun. Del Rio continues to be WAY more interesting as a face, which is why WWE makes sure to push him as a heel every single chance they can. I’m almost sure Cage is going to be back in WWE at some point and I’m really not sure why they let him go in the first place.
Post match Alberto has something to say but can’t find a working mic. Apparently he swears in Spanish and Hugo won’t translate it. Alberto grabs the Mexican flag and says this is his house. Until WWE calls again that is.
Cage gets his head shaved and goes after Alberto, only to get beaten down again and covered in the American flag. Dang it Alberto now we have to get it cleaned.
Actor Simon Pegg introduces Myzteziz (formerly Sin Cara), who comes out to the Mission: Impossible theme and repels from the ceiling like Tom Cruise did in the first movie.
Rey Mysterio vs. Myzteziz
Dream match main event. Rey comes out with black wings and looks like Hawkman. Myzteziz on the other hand is in half white and half black. We get a reluctant handshake and they take turns posing with Myzteziz getting annoyed at the lack of cheering. Striker and Hugo take shots at WWE because they think those mean anything these days. I mean, I know JBL and Cole aren’t the best commentary team in the world but they’re better than Striker and Hugo as you can actually hear them on big shows.
Rey sends him into the corner three times in a row to start and there goes Myzteziz’s shirt. Myzteziz gets tired of this waiting and punches Rey in the face, only to get taken to the mat for a headlock. Back up and Rey is sent outside for his stomach first crash, followed by a powerbomb onto the table. I guess Mexican tables are tougher than American ones too.
They get back in and Rey snaps off a headscissors with the announcers going on about traditional lucha libre. A seated senton off the apron sets up a hurricanrana to send Myzteziz into the post. That means it’s time for blood under the mask and Rey is in control. Naturally there’s already a fresh table set up at ringside. Even ECW would say tone it down with those things already. Back in and Myzteziz grabs a quick suplex to send Rey through said table and both guys are down again.
Matt can’t remember the Spanish word for blood as Myzteziz (dang I can’t stand having to type that name over and over) buckle bombs Rey for two. Myzteziz tries it again so Rey hurricanranas him to the floor, setting up a big seated senton from the top. Back in and Rey gets two off a La Mistica rollup (nice touch), giving the announcers something to actually get excited about. Rey actually starts going after the mask but opts for two off a sunset flip instead.
Myzteziz flips him face first onto the mat instead, setting up a twisting Swanton for two. These slow counts may be traditional but they’re getting annoying in a hurry. Rey’s high cross body is countered into a spinning Side Effect for two more and both guys are down. The 619 is broken up (Hugo: “Wrong number!”) so Myzteziz uses it himself. A frog splash (minus the frog) gets two on Rey so he comes back with La Mistica, followed by the real 619 for two.
Back up and Rey uses La Mistica again for the submission. That was kind of weird but even more out there was Striker freaking out that the two main events both ended in submission. It’s really not that big of a deal dude, though to be fair neither is Striker and he’s never gotten that either.
Rating: B. This was a lot less messy and the match was much better as a result. It felt like a big deal and the idea here was much simpler but it’s still only so good. Rey can still go with the right kind of opponent and Myzteziz didn’t botch anything major. For these two at this point, this was just a step beneath a miracle and one of the best matches of the night.
Post match Rey goes to be with the fans but Los Perros Del Mal (Joe Lider/Pentagon Jr.) and Averno run in to go after Myzteziz’s mask. Rey makes the save but gets a staple gun to the head for his efforts. Myzteziz gets up and fights them off with Rey’s help. The heels are all gone…..so Myzteziz shoves Rey down and sprays something in his eyes to go full heel. Oh sorry rudo. Myzteziz wants a mask vs. mask rematch, presumably at the next pay per view. The blind Rey gets powerbombed through the table.
Cue Rey’s friend Konnan and his super heel stable La Sociedad….and the show goes off the air early as Konnan is giving Myzteziz a sales pitch. Myzteziz would turn it down after the show was over and would leave AAA in about two months, meaning no rematch.
Overall Rating: D+. The last two matches are good but they’re nowhere near enough to save the show. Between the horrible technical issues and the old guys being almost universal disasters, there’s really no way to validate this being seen as a good show for the American audiences. The bad things here are just too much for the limited good to overcome and there’s little any company can do to get around that.
Above all else, this show reminded me of the biggest problem with ECW’s first pay per view Barely Legal (which just missed going off the air early by about ten seconds). The problem with that show was ECW assuming you knew everything that was going on so they didn’t bother recapping most of the stuff on the show. That becomes a big problem when you’re presenting your first pay per view to an American audience in a very long time. You can’t assume that fans have watched TV leading up to the show because the more lost they are, the less likely they are to buy another show.
This show was putting in an effort, but it was WAY too focused on honoring legends. It’s cool if you want to do that, but at the same time you risk the problem of fans getting really bored watching a lot of the lame action. That’s the style that dominated most of the first half of the show and really made me want this to be over. The last two matches helped a lot and it’s no coincidence that they were the matches with the most detailed backstories. This was a pretty strong misfire that could have been made much better with some strong adjustments, but it really doesn’t work as is.
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Monday Nitro – July 31, 2000: That’s Some High Level Background Noise
Monday Nitro #251 Date: July 31, 2000
Location: FirstStar Center, Cincinnati, Ohio
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson
I made the mistake of believing that things might be turning around and this is what I get for it. The whole place has gone nuts again with Russo’s ideas turning it into more of a circus than a wrestling show and no one seeming to know the difference anymore. The main event tonight is Sting challenging Booker T. for the World Title. Let’s get to it.
We open with an In Memory Of graphic and a ten bell salute for Gordon Solie. That’s always a bit sobering.
Video on Booker becoming champion and having to fight all comers. Jeff Jarrett has injured Booker’s knee and beat him in a hardcore match on Thunder because WCW does stupid things like running the World Title match on Thunder before the pay per view. Or pushing Jeff Jarrett as a World Title contender.
Earlier today, Booker came to work.
Pyro.
Here’s a limping Booker to open things up. He talks about his wife being here and she doesn’t seem to like him saying that he’ll die before he gives up the title. The people here are the reason he got the title shot because they would not be silenced. Last week the fans voted for Sting vs. Booker T. but Bill Goldberg interrupted. Tonight however, the fans are getting what they wanted to see. That’s what they’re getting tonight because it’s time for war. Actually I’m pretty sure it’s because Cat booked it on Thunder but no one watches that show.
This brings out Jeff Jarrett because we haven’t been bored enough yet. Jarrett: “Let me drop the bomb on your mom!” Jeff doesn’t think there’s going to be a title match tonight so Booker corrects the catchphrase and starts the fight in the aisle. They get in the ring and Jeff gets in a shot to the bad knee and a chair shot to the head. We get a JARRETT SUCKS chant from what sounds like a crowd roughly three times the size of the audience here as Jeff puts on the Figure Four over the apron.
Sting comes in for the save with the ski mask on, which he thankfully pulls off after throwing Jarrett out. He helps Booker up and says he’ll take that title shot if Booker is still ready later in the night. Jeff says we’ll have Slapnuts Theater and blasts Booker’s wife with the guitar. Again: THE MATCH WAS ALREADY BOOKED! Stop acting like this is some spontaneous thing.
Post break Sting tells Booker to go to the hospital while he deals with Jeff.
Buff Bagwell vs. Big Vito
Judy comes out with Buff as they continue to set up the Judy Bagwell on a Pole match, which has been officially set. I keep wanting to think that’s a bad dream that I’ll wake up from one day but it’s really happening. Judy is even sitting in on commentary here to make things even better. Buff starts fast with his normal offense, including a dropkick and swinging neckbreaker.
Vito gets in a cheap shot as Buff looks at his mother because Buff is dumb enough to keep bringing her out here. They head outside for a bit and Buff thinks a production guy is Kanyon in disguise. That just earns him a Mafia kick back inside but Buff pops back up with the double arm DDT for two. An innocent cameraman goes to get a shot of Judy so Buff goes for the save, allowing Vito to get a breather. Back in and Buff’s sunset flip is countered to give Vito the pin.
Rating: D. This is another Russo trope: stories that don’t work unless one of the people involved is just plain stupid. There is no reason for Judy Bagwell to be out there as she could just stay at home but in order for this story to work, she has to be here every week. Nothing match here but it’s nice to see Vito do something other than hardcore nonsense.
Kwee Wee asks Cat for the match but completely snaps when he gets turned down. Cat gives him the match to get rid of him, calming Kwee Wee right back down.
Kanyon wants Judy Bagwell as his valet so she can be his Kimberly. If she’s good, she can be a Nitro Girl. He loads up a Kanyon Cutter on Pamela but Gene Okerlund of all people tries to make the save, only to take the cutter himself (off camera of course).
After a break, Buff runs in and finds Kanyon, giving him a double arm DDT on the floor. For once, a wrestling move actually makes sense.
The Artist vs. Kwee Wee
Artist is in a t-shirt and jeans to prove his manliness to Paisley. It’s a brawl in the aisle to start as Madden makes unfunny jokes about Kwee Wee’s non-existent wife. Artist pounds him down to start but Kwee Thesz presses him down and fires away. A nice dropkick and backdrop put Artist down and it turns into a slugout. Artist lifts him up by the hair and drops him back down, only to have Kwee pound away again. Madden: “This Kwee Wee is like a flamboyant Lou Thesz!” A tilt-a-whirl into a sitout faceplant is enough to put Artist away.
Rating: D. That’s it for Artist in the ring and I don’t think many people are going to miss him. The story never worked and the wrestling wasn’t much better, making him one of the lamer people WCW had on its roster for a long time. Kwee Wee ranges somewhere between stupid and offensive (much closer to the former) but this was a very different time and in Russo’s mind, this was comedy.
Post match Kwee Wee, in a much deeper and more serious voice, says people won’t like him when he’s angry.
A ticked off Scott Steiner breaks into Cat’s office with a pipe. Cat clears off his own desk before Cat can do it. Steiner doesn’t want to hear that Booker isn’t here so he makes a pipe match with Booker in the back for later.
Norman Smiley actually hits on Midajah and gets destroyed by Steiner. This was a five second segment.
The MIA declare war on Team Canada. Rection isn’t pleased with Loco’s war face.
Cruiserweight Title: Lieutenant Loco vs. Lance Storm
Before the match, Storm talks about hardcore wrestling being garbage. Therefore, he’s renamed the Hardcore Title as the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title. On top of that, he wants this company to be named World Canadian Wrestling. This time O Canada is cut off by the Misfits’ theme and we’re ready to go in a hurry.
Storm snaps Loco’s throat across the top rope as Rection and Cajun join commentary. Back in and Loco grabs a quick spinning DDT (Cajun: “MISFIT STYLE!”) but tries to flip out of the corner and twists his ankle. Storm loads up a powerbomb and Loco tries to counter, only to get pulled down into the Maple Leaf to give Storm his third title.
Rating: C-. No time to go anywhere of course but the idea of giving Storm a third title is interesting. They’ve certainly made him feel like something special, but now comes the obvious problem of how to get them off him without making him look like a loser. Loco needs to get back in the title hunt though as I was digging his title reign with the safe and well done matches after months of Artist putting everyone to sleep.
Since Storm is young and successful, here’s Kevin Nash to interrupt. Storm gets in his face so Nash drops him with a big boot. Back from a break and Nash is still in the ring, making that attack completely pointless. Nash talks about two people working themselves into a shoot and brings up Goldberg’s comments about him last week. There’s only been one time in this business where he hasn’t been professional and it was the night after someone refused to lose to him in Montreal.
Yeah he played basketball and then he was a bouncer. There were some nights on the job where the NFL players came in and had to be beaten into place. When they get to Vancouver, there’s no guarantee that he’s going to be a professional. Finally, he’s going to get Scott Hall back here no matter what. Cue Scott Steiner to say he doesn’t care about Goldberg or Nash. The fight is on already and security quickly hits the ring.
Post break, Nash demands a match with Steiner. Cat just happens to have a straitjacket so go have a straitjacket match.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting
This is called impromptu even though they’ve been talking about it all night. Sting wins an early slugout but misses the Stinger Splash. That’s not a major problem though as he clotheslines Jeff out to the floor and follows him up the ramp with a chair. Much like all the criticism and snores from the audience during his matches, promos, appearances and everything else, Jarrett shrugs the shots off and crushes Sting’s knee against the post with the chair.
We hit the Figure Four over the apron until the referee does his job and breaks it up. Here’s Sting’s comeback until Jeff kicks the referee low and hits Sting in the head with a chair. The referee, having just been kicked low, actually counts the cover for two. Why have referees at this point? Sting flips out of a reverse suplex and grabs the Death Drop “onto” the chair for the pin.
Rating: D+. Horrific refereeing aside, that’s a loss for the World Champion and a loss for the #1 contender in the span of five days. Of course we now get even more weeks of Jarrett challenging for the title because he was hand picked as the challenger whether we’re interested in it or not. Lame match because as usual, WCW does a bunch of stupid stuff instead of letting them have a match.
Booker is back and isn’t happy that Jarrett was sent out in an ambulance.
Tag Team Titles: Kronik vs. Vampiro/Great Muta vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire
Kronik is defending and comes out first while Perfect Event is on commentary. Jindrak and O’Haire are smart enough to let everyone else fight. The painted ones are knocked to the floor and it’s Clark vs. Jindrak to get things going. The champ takes over with a hard clothesline until Mark nails a high dropkick. Clark plants him with a Rock Bottom but Vampiro breaks up the pin and takes Jindrak’s place.
A top rope clothesline puts Clark down, leaving Muta and Vampiro to pound away at the same time for no logical reason. Clark fights them off again and makes the hot tag to Adams so house can be cleaned. Muta goes after Adams knee but Clark hits him in the back with a chair to break it up. Everything breaks down and O’Haire drops the Swanton on Vampiro, only to have Adams get in a quick pin on Muta a half second before, keeping the titles on Kronik.
Rating: D+. It’s another mess of a match as is so often the case in WCW but at least the ending was pretty hot. There are way too many teams going after the belts at this point though and it’s getting to be too much to take. Just let them fight one at a time and put the titles on whoever you want to put them on.
Muta and Vampiro mist the champs and take the belts.
Cat gives Shane Douglas a Viagra on a pole match against Kidman tonight.
Jindrak and O’Haire say this isn’t over.
Kidman vs. Shane Douglas
Viagra on a pole. Seriously. Before the match, Shane thinks this is stupid. Well at least he still gets the obvious. Shane goes after Kidman to start but gets backdropped out to the floor, followed by a baseball slide into the steps. Back in and Shane kicks him down as Madden talks about Viagra on a pole matches from years past.
Shane rolls some suplex and puts on a chinlock as we’re waiting on the first attempt to go up. The Pittsburgh Plunge drops Kidman and Madden stays on the sex jokes. Kidman gets up though and hits a quick Kid Crusher (Killswitch), allowing him to get the bottle. Torrie offers a distraction though and Shane grabs a Franchiser, allowing him to steal the bottle for the win. I’m assuming that means he also deals with the legal issues of handing out what were probably prescribed pills.
Rating: D. As usual, this was a big mess with the pole only being an excuse to let them have a lame match. I still don’t know why I’d want to see these two fight again but the match was pretty generic stuff. These two could have a good match if you just, you know, let them, but that’s out of the question.
Booker asks Sting if they’re still on. Sting is ready and Booker says this is for the people.
Miss Hancock and Major Gunns get in a food fight in the back to start their “hardcore match”. In the ring, A-Wall beats up David Flair until the women come in. I guess this is a match now.
Major Gunns vs. Miss Hancock
Hancock throws her into the table Wall set up for a pin. I have no idea how long this actually was and I really don’t think anyone cares. Well Russo does as I’m sure this is another fantasy of his for whatever reason.
The Nitro Girls like Kidman after the Viagra match.
Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash
Straitjacket match meaning you put your opponent in a straitjacket and beat on them until you get tired of it. Those are Cat’s official rules. Nash gets in a quick side slam for a cover but there’s no referee as there are no covers. Instead Nash goes with the boot choke but Midajah gets on the apron, allowing Steiner to hit Nash low. The belly to belly sets up the pushups as the announcers plug an interview with VINCE RUSSO on Thunder.
They head outside with Nash being sent into the barricade (I think they’re shooting here!), only to pop up and fire off right hands back inside. Steiner takes a chokeslam and a Midajah chair shot has no effect on Nash. That earns Midajah a Jackknife (Madden: “Her head is between his legs!”) but Nash has to kick Rick Steiner in the face. Scott hits Nash with the chair and the straitjacket goes on. Scott puts on the Recliner for the win.
Rating: D-. What do you expect from Scott Steiner vs. Kevin Nash in a gimmick match with Rick interfering? They kept it short but that doesn’t mean it’s something interesting. I’m still annoyed at Nash for beating Storm down earlier tonight though so I approve of him taking a beating.
WCW World Title: Booker T. vs. Sting
Booker is defending and limps to the ring as the announcers plug Russo’s interview again. Note that Goldberg and Nash’s interviews weren’t plugged but they’re just not as important. They trade shoulders and hiptosses to start and Sting can’t get either early Deathlock attempt. It’s time to go outside with Sting sending him into the barricade, only to have his top rope splash hit knees. Thankfully Booker sells the knee, only to pop up for an ax kick for two.
They hit heads and Sting falls to the floor, only to have someone pull him under the ring. Someone who appears to be Demon (Sting’s opponent at New Blood Rising) shoves a bloody Sting back out and he elbows Booker in the face a few times. Sting gets two off a DDT but the Death Drop is countered into the Bookend to retain Booker’s title.
Rating: C. Imagine that: you give two of the most talented guys in the company a few minutes and they have one of the better matches of the night. They’re doing a really good job of building Booker up as a main event star as he’s pinned Goldberg and Sting in back to back weeks. Of course he lost to Jarrett in the middle but you can’t win them all, even if you’re World Champion.
Post match Sting goes after Demon but Vampiro makes a save. Jarrett comes out to blast Booker with a guitar before tying a rope around the knee to hang Booker upside down. At the same time, Sting is put in a coffin which Demon sets on fire with a torch. Jarrett cracks another guitar over the knee to end the show WHILE STING IS BEING BURNED ALIVE. Yeah that’s just background noise now. In WWE it sets up a Wrestlemania showdown. In WCW it sets up Jeff Jarrett attacking Booker T.’s bad knee.
Overall Rating: D. If Sting being burned alive not closing the show isn’t enough to sum this show up, I don’t think anything is going to. You couple that with the Viagra on a pole match and a food fight between the women and it’s clear that Russo is back at his Russoiest. There’s just too much stuff going on here and little of it is worth seeing. One of the few things that was worth seeing was Lance Storm but Nash literally threw him out of the way so we could set up a straitjacket match as part of the reality angle that the world is clamoring for. There’s your latest reason why WCW has less than eight months to go.
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Tribute to the Troops 2015 Date: December 23, 2015
Location: Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
It’s the annual holiday special with the WWE putting on a show for the military. This is also going to include some comedy and musical performances, plus a few appearances from various celebrities. WWE treats this like a big deal and it’s the big finale to WWE Week every year. Let’s get to it.
We open with the standard video talking about how much WWE wants to thank the troops.
JoJo sings the National Anthem. The red, white and blue ropes are back for the special occasion.
Here are Roman Reigns (minus the title but with it on his graphic), Dean Ambrose (same) and the Usos to open things up. They quickly thank the troops but here’s the League of Nations to interrupt. Sheamus (no title either) is amazed that Reigns thinks America is the greatest country in the world. He likes the Americans and thinks it might be in the top twenty nations in the world.
Barrett thinks everything in England is better, especially the food. Do you know how hard it is to find spotted dick around here? Reigns: “This is a family show!” Del Rio doesn’t like American TV because it doesn’t have any football (“I mean the real football!”) and he has to listen to stupid country music.
Sheamus thinks Ireland has the best everything in the world but Reigns cuts him off with a tater tots mention. The League accepts an invitation for a fight but here are the Wyatts to interrupt. Before anything else can happen, the Dudley Boyz, Ryback and Kane come out to give us sixteen men at once. A huge fight breaks out and we take a break.
We’ll have a sixteen man tag later tonight.
Rusev and Lana insult America, setting up this.
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev
Boot Camp match because we need a new way for Swagger to lose to Rusev. Swagger starts fast with a Patriot Lock but Lana slips Rusev an ammo box to take over. Rusev gets in a few shots but misses a charge and falls to the floor. A big clothesline knocks Rusev onto a cot and we take a break. Back with Rusev drilling Swagger with a foot locker and squashing Jack’s head against the box for two. Rusev throws him to the floor and waves the Bulgarian flag, easily knocking Swagger back as he tries to get in.
Swagger finally gets smart by waving Old Glory, ticking Rusev off enough that Jack can get inside again. Some clotheslines have Rusev in trouble and the Vader Bomb gets two. The jumping superkick puts Jack down again but he catches another superkick in the Patriot Lock. That goes nowhere but Rusev gets sent into the foot locker in the corner. Another Patriot Lock goes on and Rusev actually taps at 11:01.
Rating: C. Well it took him long enough. Not much of a hardcore match but they really didn’t have a choice but to go with Swagger here. Having the American hero (that’s a stretch) lose at this show would be like having the Evil Santa steal Christmas on the holiday Raw so it’s not like Rusev really loses anything. Good enough match but more weapons would have been appreciated.
Some members of the roster went to a Navy SEALS training camp.
Joel McHale loves the troops.
Harrison Ford loves the troops as well.
Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas
Bo is dressed as Uncle Sam. For some reason he slaps Mark in the face and pounds on his back a few times. Mark snaps up and Bo is terrified. Bo: “I’m gonna go back this way!” The World’s Strongest Slam ends Bo at 46 seconds.
The US Women’s National Soccer Team loves the troops.
Eva Longoria loves the troops.
Train performs.
Some troops wish their families Happy Holidays.
Wesley Snipes loves the troops.
Kevin Owens vs. Ryback
Before the match, Owens praises Canada, especially Quebec. We even get some French from Owens until Ryback cuts him off to get things started. Ryback muscles him up for a delayed vertical suplex but Owens knees him in the ribs and grabs an early chinlock. That goes nowhere so Ryback tries a Shell Shock, only to have Kevin grab the ropes. They hit each other from the apron and Owens falls to the floor for a breather. Owens takes the countout at 3:06.
Rating: D. Oh come on what do you want me to say here? This is a match that doesn’t mean anything but gives the fans something to smile about. I’m glad they didn’t have Owens take a clean loss though, especially with the new character having started up after this show was taped.
A military couple got to go backstage the show and had a Coke with Roman Reigns.
Howie Mandel performs.
Joe Manganiello loves the troops.
JJ Abrams loves the troops.
Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Charlotte/Becky Lynch vs. Paige/Team BAD
This is your annual “here’s a bunch of good looking women” match. Naomi does her stupid shaking spot to Charlotte to start, earning her some chops. Brie, who is clearly a face this time, comes in for some YES Kicks. Tamina clotheslines Brie’s head off to break up BRIE MODE (well done) and it’s off to Paige for some shots in the corner. Brie shoves Naomi into the corner for a break, kicks Tamina away, and makes the hot tag to Becky. Everything breaks down and it’s a Bank Statement to make Alicia tap at 4:40.
Rating: D+. This was fine for what it was and at least we got to see Sasha do something other than be the female Kofi. It’s really kind of hard to find stuff to talk about with these matches because the stories are about two weeks behind and the matches mean nothing. Still though, this was a way to get the women on the show and little more so it accomplished its goal.
Clips of the roster meeting some troops.
Toby Keith loves the troops.
Neil Patrick Harris loves the troops.
Train performs again.
Cris Collinsworth loves the troops.
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns/Usos/Kane/Dudley Boyz/Ryback vs. Wyatt Family/League of Nations
This is joined in progress, meaning we get to skip the entrances to save some time. Dean is in control of Rowan but it’s quickly off to Strowman vs. Bubba. Strowman wants Kane though and it’s time for the battle of the monsters. Kane can’t slam him though and Braun plants him with a slam of his own. The smaller monster fights back though and knocks Braun to the floor, setting up a big staredown as we take a break.
Back with Harper getting two off a swinging Boss Man Slam to Jimmy. Bray comes in for the backsplash and it’s time for the League to start taking turns beating Jimmy down. Jimmy gets in an enziguri to Sheamus but can’t make the hot tag. Instead it’s Harper putting on a headlock until Jimmy suplexes him down in a surprising power display. Now the hot tag brings in Ambrose for the top rope elbow on Harper.
Everything breaks down and Rowan takes What’s Up. Dean and the Usos hit dives and it’s time for the parade of finishers. It takes a Superman punch, a double shoulder from the Dudley Boyz, a double superkick from the Usos and a Meathook to put Strowman over the top (finally putting him off his feet in a nice touch). Dirty Deeds puts Harper away at 13:25.
Rating: C. Yeah fine. This has become a tradition on these shows and it’s a good way to put everyone out there for a big, fun main event for a fun show. I don’t know why you would expect this to be anything more than it was as it’s been the same idea for years now. Still though, fun enough and that’s all it needed to be.
The American flag comes down and the good guys celebrate to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. What else do you want me to say about this show? It doesn’t mean anything for storylines and the wrestling is average at best, but that’s all it’s supposed to be. I haven’t cared for the show as much since they stopped going overseas but really it’s harmless fun. Standard show this year, which is probably best all around.
Results
Jack Swagger b. Rusev – Patriot Lock
Mark Henry b. Bo Dallas – World’s Strongest Slam
Ryback b. Kevin Owens via countout
Team BAD/Paige b. Brie Bella/Alicia Fox/Becky Lynch/Charlotte – Bank Statement to Fox
Dudley Boyz/Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose/Ryback/Kane/Usos b. Wyatt Family and League of Nations – Dirty Deeds to Harper
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