ECW on TNN – August 18, 2000: We’re Actually Doing Something!
ECW on TNN Date: August 18, 2000
Location: War Memorial, Fort Lauderdale, Florida
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re coming up on the Tag Team Title tournament and it’s actually making for an interesting story. Almost everyone is involved in the tournament, setting up a bunch of mini feuds as we head into the big night. On top of that the Network seems to have split up, which means we’re ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING. Let’s get to it.
We see Simon and Swinger helping CW Anderson beat Tommy Dreamer on Hardcore TV, setting up Danny Doring and Roadkill to make the save. The heels beat them down though and planted Jazz with a Problem Solver.
Rob Van Dam says he’s fighting Rhino tonight for the first time since he broke his ankle (no) and it’s time for a beating.
Opening sequence.
Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring with Cyrus as his guest. Cyrus rants about Steve Corino turning his back on the Network and here are Corino and Anton to interrupt. Corino doesn’t get to say anything as Cyrus says Corino was just an opening match comedy act and a mark for the business.
Then Corino got over with the people (I know ECW isn’t your normal wrestling promotion but I can’t stand it when that kind of lingo is used on TV.) and thought it was all because of the blood he’s shed. Corino swears a bit as Gertner talks about sperm. This sets up a match between Corino/Anton vs. Cyrus/Lou E. And never mind as Anton turns on Corino for a SWERVE that everyone could see coming because they’re not stupid.
FBI vs. Psicosis/Tajiri/Mikey Whipwreck
Tony and Mikey start things off and this is already starting to look like another wrestling show. It’s already off to Guido for an inverted Fujiwara armbar (Would that hurt?) as the heels (who seem to be popular) take over. The tag brings in Psicosis to face Big Sal, who is immediately taken down because he’s a big fat tub of goo.
Some kicks to the head knock him silly and a bunch of dives take down the Italians. Back in and some kicks to the head get two on Tony but he comes right back with a DDT. Guido scores with a clothesline but eats a Whippersnapper as this match is dying. Everything breaks down and Tajiri mists Psicosis by mistake. Guido hits a quick Kiss of Death for the pin on Tajiri.
Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much a bad match as much as it was really dull. I get that it’s designed to set up something later on but the FBI isn’t interesting as they’re no longer comedy instead of just kind of there. That’s a major problem around here: people who don’t have a purpose and are only around for the sake of being around.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash
Justin is defending in a rematch from last week. Kash gets a quick two off a spinning sunset flip to send Justin outside for an early breather. That means a lot of swearing and censoring of something that probably isn’t worthy of swearing and censoring. Justin throws a chair at Kash who sits down in the middle of the ring. A double springboard hurricanrana sends Justin outside again, setting up a huge dive off the top. Standard Kid Kash so far.
Back in and a good looking superkick (That’s our Justin!) drops Kash. A chinlock doesn’t go anywhere so Joel asks if Joey is gay for not wanting to sleep with Francine. Kash DDT’s the champ on the chair for two and there’s the ref bump. Before I can say “get Rhino out here so Van Dam can make the save”, Rhino comes out for the beatdown on Kash and Van Dam makes the save.
That’s Incredible is broken up and Kash hits the Moneymaker but the referee is still down and likely in a coma at this point. There’s a Gore for Kash so here’s Rob for the second save, only to have Justin kick out at a very close two. Francine blasts Kash with the kendo stick and a super That’s Incredible retains the title.
Rating: D+. Who thought this needed a rematch? I’m really not a fan of either guy and all the overbooking didn’t help things. At least I can finally keep track of who wants to fight who and why they want to do it but that doesn’t mean the wrestling is anything worth seeing. The ending never being in doubt didn’t help either.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Rob Van Dam
Rhino is defending and jumps Van Dam during his long entrance. They’re quickly in the crowd with Rhino in control as Bill Alfonso won’t stop with the stupid whistle. The Gore against the barricade makes things even worse for Van Dam as this is one sided so far. They get inside for the first time with a wicked powerbomb planting Van Dam again for no cover.
Rob FINALLY scores with a stepover kick and both guys are down. Van Dam skateboards a chair into Rhino’s face and a middle rope moonsault gets two. The Van Daminator sets up the Five Star but here’s Justin to break up the cover and throw the match out because you knew this wasn’t going to end clean.
Rating: C-. Again, WHY IS THIS NOT ON PAY PER VIEW??? This should be a major showdown but instead of drawing money, we’ve seen it twice in a row for the sake of popping a rating (by ECW standards of course) and this is what we’re stuck with as a result. Oh and more Justin because we haven’t seen enough of him lately.
Kid Kash fails at a save attempt so Sandman makes the real one to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. I stand by my stance that Justin Credible is just crippling this show every single week. What in the world is supposed to be interesting about him? Someone taking the title off of him? That’s fine in theory, but don’t you need someone to be interesting before beating them matters? Justin continues to be the worst part of the show and unfortunately he’s also one of the focal points. No wonder I’m so sick of this show.
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ECW on TNN Date: August 11, 2000
Location: Huntington Civic Center, Huntington, West Virginia
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re getting close to wrapping this show up and it’s back to the country after a week down in Houston. The big story coming out of last week is an actual match being announced for the Tag Team Title tournament with Sandman/Chilly Willy vs. Rhino/Justin Credible. Of course no date has been announced for that match but I doubt ECW knows either. Let’s get to it.
Lou E. Dangerously is in the ring to insult the West Virginia fans, who pelt the ring with garbage as a result. This is a ripoff of Paul Heyman’s old Danger Zone segment. After a quick jump to the announcers for an intro, Lou brings out Steve Corino and Scotty Anton. Lou rants about the Tag Team Title tournament before Corino says he doesn’t give a CENSORED what the Network feels.
They helped win the Network its titles and have been protecting the Network since day one. Cue Justin, who Steve says would be nothing without the two of them. Corino and Credible both claim credit for Justin’s title reign lasting before Steve goes nuclear by saying Justin has a lame catchphrase. Rhino comes out and Gores Anton, leaving Corino to get double teamed. Security breaks it up. So is the Network done now? I’d be ok with that.
Opening sequence.
Corino and Anton are leaving when Lou comes up and asks what Cyrus will think. Steve doesn’t care and they leave with Jack Victory.
Justin Credible and Kid Kash get in an argument, setting up a title match for later tonight.
Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Tom Marquez/Bilvis Wesley
Marquez stupidly thinks he can slam Roadkill to start, which pretty much sums up the whole match. A Vader Bomb elbow sets up a Hart Attack as Joey and Joel make Elvis jokes. We get a quick chase around the ring until Marquez catches Doring with a spinwheel kick. Wesley puts on a Muta Lock of all things and Doring stays in trouble thanks to some double teaming.
Doring finally hits a Stroke (the G Spot Sweet because we’re in ECW) and the hot tag brings in Roadkill. You really can hear a pop when Roadkill comes in and that needs to be noticed. I know he’s not your typical ECW guy but the fans dig him and that’s important. Everything breaks down and the Buggy Bang (wheelbarrow slam/guillotine legdrop) ends Marquez.
Rating: C+. This is the kind of thing you don’t get enough of around here: a basic tag match with the bigger team going over but only after taking a beating. It’s nothing great or anything but it was wrestling instead of brawling and that really needs to happen more often. Roadkill and Doring are a good act and hopefully they go somewhere in the tournament.
Sinister Minister tries to teach Tajiri about temptation with a good looking woman. She winds up getting mist in the face and you can figure out the joke yourself. You could see her face before the mist but as soon as it hits, her face is a mosaic. Ok then.
Joey is aghast.
CW Anderson gives Simon and Swinger a pep talk.
We see CW Anderson laying out Jazz and insulting women’s wrestling. Tommy Dreamer made the save.
Tajiri vs. EZ Money
They hit the mat for some very fast covers (minus near falls) and it’s a standoff for some applause. When did this become a wrestling show? Money’s friend Chris Hamrick breaks up the Tarantula and a standing moonsault gets two on Tajiri. Another distraction lets Money’s other friend Julio Fantastico (Matt Tastic’s American cousin?) sneak in for a double wheelbarrow suplex. It’s time for a chair but Tajiri reverses a powerbomb into a tornado DDT. The Buzzsaw Kick is enough to put Money away.
Rating: C. Another simple wrestling match here with the bigger name overcoming the heel stable (there are WAY too many of those running around). It’s weird seeing Money lose so often when he was on a big winning streak in the dying days of WCW. He wasn’t anything great but there was something there.
The trio goes after Tajiri but he beats up all three losers without much effort. Cue the FBI (See what I mean about the heel stables?) for the real beatdown but Mikey Whipwreck comes out with a flaming 2×4 for the save.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Kid Kash
Kash is challenging and I’ll set his over/under on hurricanranas at five. It’s a pose off to start as Gertner makes sex jokes about Francine. They fight over a hammerlock until Kash gets in a clothesline to put the champ outside. A springboard dive (now that’s more like it Kash) takes Justin down again and another dive, which we can’t see, knocks Justin into the crowd.
Back in and Justin scores with a superkick but that’s enough wrestling so let’s have a chair. Kash is sent face first into said chair and it’s time for Justin to talk some trash on the mic. For the life of me I still don’t get the appeal of this guy. The champ crotches himself on the post as the announcers try to figure out how they can like Corino now that he turned on the Network.
Francine’s interference fails as she hits Justin with a metal sheet by mistake and Kash gets in his first hurricanrana. Francine tries to interfere again (giving us the required g-string shot)….and here’s Rhino to Gore Kash for the DQ/no contest since DQ’s aren’t a thing around here most of the time.
Rating: D+. Justin isn’t interesting and I’m running out of ways to say that. He’s a catchphrase, a Tombstone and weapon shots. Oh and an occasional superkick. I have no idea why he had the title as long as he did (sixth longest reign with the original title) and I have no idea what Heyman saw in him but he’s been stale for a long time.
Rob Van Dam (Kash’s partner in the tournament) makes the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. I…..liked this? Somehow I think I did and it’s for a few very simple reasons. This show was focused on wrestling with only the main event featuring weapons actually being used. On top of that there’s the big story of the Tag Team Title tournament coming up to really tie the show together. It’s almost like this was a well put together show and that’s a good thing.
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ECW on TNN – August 4, 2000: The Memory Escapes Me
ECW on TNN Date: August 4, 2000
Location: Astro Arena Pavilion, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re getting close to the end here with just ten episodes left in the series. Unfortunately things were picking up a little bit around this point as some of the stories FINALLY started moving forward. There are still about two months to go before Anarchy Rulz so we’re still weeks away from setting up the show’s card. Let’s get to it.
We open with the last thirty seconds of Rhino Goring Nova to retain the TV Title. Ok then.
Opening sequence.
After Joel talks about being with a stripper named Alexis in his Lexus here in Houston, Texas, here’s Cyrus to do the same thing these two always do. Cyrus brings up the attack at Heat Wave which was an assault because Cyrus isn’t a wrestler. Tonight though, he has a wrestling license and is ready to fight Gertner one on one. This brings out Spike Dudley in a suit jacket but Cyrus isn’t impressed. The announcers leave as Spike says Heyman isn’t here tonight because he’s busy in Los Angeles. Therefore, Spike is the booker tonight and he has an idea. Here’s our opening match.
Cyrus vs. Sandman
A single cane shot brings in Rhino and yeah this isn’t a match.
Justin Credible comes in and Tombstones Sandman, drawing Spike back in to take a beating of his own. Spike takes a piledriver off the apron and through a table, leaving Sandman to take a double beating. Chilly Willy comes out for the save and gives Cyrus a falcon arrow.
Little Guido vs. Mikey Whipwreck
They trade chops in the corner to start with Mikey hammering away in the corner before slamming Guido’s head onto the mat. Mikey has to avoid Sal to send him into the post before getting two off a superplex. Another distraction lets Tony Mamaluke come in for a double Russian legsweep from the middle rope for two on Mikey. At least he can competently cheat. Mikey’s running DDT changes momentum again and there’s the Whippersnapper, only to have Sal distract the referee. Mamaluke drops a top rope leg to break up the cover and chairs Mikey in the head. The Kiss of Death puts Mikey away.
Rating: C. Not the worst here as Mikey is still very underrated despite being a Triple Crown Champion. It’s nice to see them actually doing something with Mikey after all these vignettes but the FBI are only so interesting. At least they’re letting the talented one do the wrestling instead of Sal and his freak show “abilities.”
Post match the FBI goes after Mikey, only to have Tajiri of all people come out for the save.
Earlier tonight, Kid Kash gave Rob Van Dam something close to a sweat. As in as close as you can get with hurricanrana after hurricanrana with an occasional dive thrown in.
This episode is dedicated to Gordon Solie. Nothing wrong with that.
Tajiri vs. Steve Corino vs. Jerry Lynn
Corino is sent to the floor early and we get a very fast near fall sequence from Corino and Lynn. A Tarantula has Lynn in even more trouble until Corino makes the save. Tajiri is sent outside for some double teaming from Victory and Corino, only to have Lynn dive onto both of them for the huge crash. Back in and Corino takes the mist, only to have Lynn cradle piledrive Tajiri for the elimination. Thanks to Victory washing his eyes out, Corino does Dusty Rhodes’ Bionic Elbow dance and gets two off a sitout powerbomb.
Jerry starts the one on one portion with a belly to back before a few rollups get a few near falls each. Corino gets crotched on the top but Lou E. Dangerously (He manages Corino right?) slips in the phone so Steve can knock Lynn silly for two. Cue Scotty Anton to snap Jerry’s neck across the top rope so Corino can hit the Old School Expulsion (reverse Twist of Fate) for the pin.
Rating: C. Not the worst match in the world here as they let the wrestlers wrestle. That being said, I’m still not a fan of having the third man get eliminated in the first few minutes so they can do a singles match without doing a singles match. It doesn’t help that I’ve lost track of who is on who’s side in this huge stable war. You know, assuming ECW is considered a stable of course.
The beatdown is on but Tommy Dreamer comes out and we’ve got a main event.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Scotty Anton
Well kind of as Victory beats on Jazz in the ring as Dreamer and Anton fight in the crowd. The people actually in the match come back to ringside with Dreamer beating on Anton until Scotty sends him into a ladder. Why is there a ladder there? Not important of course. Dreamer is busted open but is still able to send Anton into the ladder in the corner.
A superplex off the ladder (which was laid over the middle rope so that didn’t add much) drops Anton and it’s time to bridge the ladder over two chairs. Naturally it’s Dreamer being suplexed onto the ladder, which is horribly bent. The Clapper goes on so Jazz chairs Anton in the head. Dreamer drops an elbow onto a chair onto Anton’s face for the pin.
Rating: D+. Remember all those times I’ve told you that Scotty Anton isn’t very good and has no business being on these shows? That’s still the case, as this really wasn’t much to see. Dreamer doing tremendous harm to his body is entertaining enough but how many times can I see it before it loses its interest?
Cyrus makes Rhino/Justin Credible vs. Sandman/Chilly Willy for the first round of the Tag Team Title tournament. Justin says no way but Rhino promises to make him do it. Francine drags him away and Rhino rants a lot to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. Some stuff happened, the wrestling wasn’t great, the angles didn’t really change and we have a single match announced for next week. In other words, it’s your run of the mill ECW on TNN and that’s not the most interesting show in the world. This could have been much worse but the same problems are still here: nothing happens. When is the last time you remember something interesting happening on this show? I can’t remember it and that’s a big reason why this show didn’t last long.
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ECW on TNN Date: July 28, 2000
Location: Peoria Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
Last week was a fairly stand alone show so hopefully things pick up this week. We’re months away from the next pay per view and that means it’s up to TV to carry things for a good while. After the last few months, I really don’t have a ton of confidence in ECW’s ability to do that but maybe I’ll be surprised. Let’s get to it.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Chilly Willy
Rhino is defending and this is joined in progress with Willy sending him into a chair for a near fall. The Gore and a piledriver put Willy away quick.
Post match Sandman saves Willy from going through a table and spears Rhino through it instead. Is there a reason this feud seems to be continuing?
Opening sequence.
Joey and Joel do their intro from the booth as Billy Corgan (yes that Billy Corgan) is in the ring with an original song about ECW. Cue Lou E. Dangerously with the Network to cut him off before Billy can start though. Various Smashing Pumpkins insults result in Lou taking a guitar to the head. Network runs in, Dreamer and Lynn make the save. Dreamer issues a challenges for a falls count anywhere tag later tonight.
Tajiri vs. Psicosis
Actually hang on as the FBI jumps Tajiri so we have a replacement.
Little Guido vs. Psicosis
Guido sunsets in for two at the bell but a big dive takes the Italians down. Back in and Psicosis is sent shoulder first into the post with Guido ramming it into the post over and over. Guido punches him down for two and hits a middle rope seated dropkick (that’s a new one) for two. Sal gets in a running splash against the barricade to set up a Sicilian crab, only to have Tajiri come in with a kick to the head. The guillotine legdrop puts Guido away.
Rating: C. These cruiserweight matches are fine but it would be nice if they went somewhere. It’s almost like they should be fighting for the TV Title instead of having both singles titles stuck in the main event scene. The match was fun and all and the ending sets up something else, but it would have been nice to have this go somewhere instead of being a one off match/nothing feud.
Rhino yells about various good guys.
We look at Kid Kash beating EZ Money on Hardcore TV.
Dawn Marie takes Joel’s place and mugs for the camera a lot.
We look at Carl Ouellet (Remember him?) putting Francine through a table and getting beaten up by Justin Credible as a result.
Rob Van Dam thinks the Van Terminator is pretty awesome. He’s pretty cool in general actually.
Blue Boy and Jasmine St. Clair were on Hardcore TV with Blue E. Dangerously by their side. Jazz came out and powerbombed Jasmine out of her dress.
Steve Corino/Scotty Anton vs. Jerry Lynn/Tommy Dreamer
Falls count anywhere. It’s a brawl to start with Anton getting Dreamer in an early Clapper with Jerry making a save. Lynn dives onto Corino and Victory and the four people actually in the match head into the crowd. Corino is bleeding badly (well duh) and here’s Dreamer with a ladder. Dreamer takes Anton back inside but gets sent face first into the top of the ladder for his efforts.
The ladder is bridged between two chairs and Lynn crashes his way through it to put the Network in control. The good guys snap after being forced to do the Clap but the referee gets bumped. Dreamer and Lynn use each others’ finishers and a second referee comes out to count two with Jack Victory decking the second referee. Cue Billy Corgan to lay out Jack and count the pin.
Rating: C. Standard overly violent ECW main event here with the celebrity cameo near the end for a bit of a twist. Anton is still the worst main event guy in a long time, which is covering a lot of ground in a company with Justin Credible around. It would be nice if these matches meant something instead of just more mindless brawling but that’s not going to happen.
Overall Rating: C-. I’m getting very bored by this promotion and it’s no surprise that they’re in a lot of trouble at the moment. There’s just no creativity in what they’re doing and it’s the same stuff over and over again with the same brawling week to week.This week ECW won and odds are next week the Network wins and so on and so forth because that’s how ECW works.
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ECW on TNN Date: July 21, 2000
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re finally past Heat Wave and….nothing happened. Justin Credible is still World Champion, Rhino is still TV Champion, we still have no Tag Team Champions and the Network is still endlessly feuding with ECW. The next pay per view isn’t until October so this might not be getting better for a long time. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel do their thing and I can’t think of a way to censor what Gertner said. Cue Dawn Marie (my goodness) to interrupt so the guys can tell her how beautiful she is. Sex jokes are made but we cut away to breaking news of Steve Corino putting a bounty on Jerry Lynn. Da Baldies would like to collect.
Opening sequence.
Da Baldies vs. Jerry Lynn/???
It’s another mystery partner and this time Lynn has chosen……Tommy Dreamer. Tommy comes out late with Lynn already being beaten down. That happens way too often with Lynn’s partners. We take an early break and come back with the fight in the stands, meaning you can only see pieces of Dreamer beating on Angel. They head back down to ringside with Tommy beating on Angel as the other two have disappeared. Back in and Dreamer misses a charge to go shoulder first into the post. It wouldn’t be an ECW match if Dreamer wasn’t injured.
They’re on the floor all over again with Dreamer being crotched on the barricade. DeVito and Lynn remember they’re in the match and fight on the floor for a bit as Angel beats on Dreamer inside. A double flapjack drops Dreamer and of course it’s table time. Cue Jazz to powerbomb Angel for a save, allowing Dreamer to put him through the table instead. Jerry comes back in with the cradle piledriver for the pin on DeVito.
Rating: D. I’m never a fan of these matches where you can barely see a lot of the action and it’s basically two singles matches at the same time. There’s a basic enough story here though with the thugs vs. the two guys fighting against the Network and it’s nice to have anything other than the same matches over and over. The match was nothing to see of course but you can’t expect that on ECW TV.
Post match the Network runs in for the beatdown. This means we get the third name for Anton’s Sharpshooter (Clap, Clapper, Clap Trap).
CW Anderson says he’s awesome and doesn’t care that Johnny Swinger used to work in WCW.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tajiri
Justin is defending and I have no idea why this isn’t closing the show. Also wasn’t Tajiri a heel like two weeks ago? I mean, he had a Network badge and all that jazz. Tajiri starts fast with the kicks, including a big one to send Credible into the barricade. Francine has to hide from Tajiri so Justin can get in a few stomps to the back. For the life of me I don’t get the Credible appeal. There’s just nothing there and it shows worse every time he’s in the ring. I’m not sure if it was miscommunication or intentional but Tajiri hits a kick perfectly upside Justin’s head, leaving both guys standing there for a few seconds.
After that awkward pause (and a great looking kick), Justin hits him low to take over again. A swinging DDT gets two for Justin but he eats yet another kick. Tajiri goes after Francine though, meaning he has to reverse the Tombstone into one of his own (while misting Francine at the same time). The handspring elbow completely misses so Tajiri brings in a table. A top rope double stomp through the table gets two on the champ. Tajiri’s tornado DDT gets the same but That’s Incredible retains the title a few seconds later.
Rating: D+. So Justin gets beaten up, hits a few cane shots, kicks out of a bunch of stuff and hits his finisher for the pin. That sounds like money to me. I have no idea what the appeal of someone like Justin is supposed to be but it’s really not clicking no matter what he does out there. Justin feels like a midcard guy who got lost and wound up in the main event but no one can bring themselves to tell him the truth.
House show ads, including talk of a Tag Team Title tournament.
Rob Van Dam vs. Balls Mahoney
Van Dam spins around until Balls fires off those jabs. That just earns him a kick to the floor and a big flip dive so Van Dam can pose. Balls takes him outside and starts using various beverages to hit Van Dam in the face. They head into the crowd where Rob hits a quick Van Daminator and heads back to ringside. I’m so glad they added that part.
Back in and Van Dam kicks some more, including a second Van Daminator. The Five Star looks to finish but Balls small packages Rob for two instead. A super Nutcracker Sweet (sitout tombstone) gets two but Balls makes the mistake of wedging the chair into the corner. The Van Terminator puts Mahoney away.
Rating: C-. I know Balls was a big ECW fan favorite but he’s really just a brawler with a lot of joke names for his offense. Van Dam really should be doing something more than fighting random matches and then feuding with Scotty freaking Anton on pay per view. The match was fine enough, despite there being no doubt who was winning.
Overall Rating: D+. That might even be a bit generous. This was a completely nothing show with almost no story development coming off a pretty lackluster pay per view. The company has almost no momentum at the moment and it’s really showing more every single time they go on the air.
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Heat Wave 2000
Date: July 16, 2000
Location: Grand Olympic Auditorium, Los Angeles, California
Attendance: 5,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus
ECW is in trouble at this point and Justin Credible isn’t making things any easier. He’s been champion for three months now and he’s really not that interesting. With Storm out of the way, the match with Dreamer is the next logical step for him as he basically stole the belt from Tommy, but that still doesn’t make him interesting on top of the company, especially with Van Dam sitting there in a meaningless match against Anton. Let’s get to it.
We open with Jasmin St. Claire on the beach in a very small swimsuit with the Blue Boy (formerly the Blue Meanie but now about 100lbs lighter) talking about how fat people are. They run into a guy in good shape who Blue Boy calls fat. A fight nearly breaks out but Jasmin hits him low.
They make out on the beach but we pan over to Sinister Minister. Apparently Blue Boy sold his soul to be thin and have Jasmin. The Minister talks about how we’re in Los Angeles where things happen when it gets hot. He references a lot of WWF pay per views before talking about the main event. We pan over again to see Mikey Whipwreck buried up to his neck in sane. Minister laughs a lot and we go to the arena.
Joel and Joey are in the ring to open things up. The ramp is gone again. Styles is glad to be on the west coast, though it was ECW’s lone appearance here. Joel’s rhyme is especially filthy this time so here’s Cyrus to cut him off. Gertner gets on the apron but comes back inside as Cyrus is asking the people if they know who he is. He brags about deporting Super Crazy (he’ll be back) and taking the TV Title from Tajiri. Cyrus used the ECW on TNN budget to promote Rollerjam (a roller derby show) and stripped Rob Van Dam of the TV Title. Joel cuts him off and says he doesn’t want to be on TNN.
Cyrus says he’s canceled ECW and threatens to turn out Gertner’s lights. He says Joel delivers the fat gay demographic so Gertner makes gay jokes about Cyrus. They argue some more with Joel saying he helps Cyrus but Cyrus counters by saying Joel never paid a due in wrestling. Joey says he has an IQ over 140 and went to an Ivy League college so he doesn’t need to put up with Cyrus. It’s been a pleasure working with Joey, but Joel is done. Cyrus gloats but Gertner sneaks up on him and gets in a few good shots before security drags him away.
Big Sal comes in and beats up some security and referees before his match.
Balls Mahoney vs. Big Sal E. Graziano
Balls has to beat up the newest member of the FBI Tony Mamaluke but gets decked by Sal. Mahoney hammers away and kicks Sal low before nailing him with a chair. Sal won’t go down and chokeslams Balls, followed by a belly to belly suplex for the pin.
Rob Van Dam has something new tonight: the Van Terminator. He’s teased that move for a few weeks now but no one knows what it is.
We see Bobby Eaton (a very talented wrestler from the 1980s who was still better than most of ECW’s roster at this point) appearing at the ECW Arena to go after C.W. Anderson for disrespecting the Anderson Family.
Simon Diamond/Swinger/C.W. Anderon vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring/Kid Kash
Diamond has dropped most of his entourage and is part of a tag team with Swinger (a muscular guy with long hair and that’s about the extent of things that differentiates him from others). Anderson is on his own now as well and recently broke Kash’s four month undefeated streak. The other four guys are decent teams but the Tag Team Titles remain vacant.
Simon and Kash get things going with a technical sequence and the fans already declare it boring. Kash nails a hard chop in the corner before they kick each other away to give us a standoff. Anderson comes in but is quickly taken down and nailed with a middle rope elbow drop. Doring and Roadkill crush Swinger and Diamond in the corner before clearing the ring. Kash nails a slingshot hurricanrana over the top to the floor to take Anderson down.
Back in and Kash hits a springboard clothesline to Anderson before another hurricanrana sends Simon back to the floor. The numbers finally catch up to Kash and Swinger takes over. Anderson comes in but charges into an elbow in the corner, followed by a moonsault press to put him down. It’s off to Doring vs. Swinger with Danny cleaning house with jawbreakers.
Simon comes back with a cobra clutch legsweep to drop Doring before Diamond plants him for two. Anderson blasts him in the jaw with the left hand but Doring slams him face first into the mat. The fans are going NUTS for Roadkill here and they get exactly what they want. Roadkill comes in and cleans house, sending all three villains to the floor for a big dive from Doring.
Kash hits an even bigger one but Roadkill tops them all by taking out all five guys. Back in and Roadkill gets crotched on the top, allowing Simon and Swinger to double team Doring with a backbreaker/reverse DDT combination. The Anderson spinebuster plants Kash for two but Roadkill breaks it up with a legdrop to the back of the head. Kash breaks up the Problem Solver (double team elevated DDT) to Doring, who nails the double arm DDT on Diamond. The Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gives Kash the pin over Swinger.
Rating: B-. Nice six man tag here but the booking is a little confusing. If Simon and Swinger is supposed to be the new big team, why would you have them lose here? It’s a shame that the tag team division is starting to pick up some steam, just as there are no belts for anyone to win.
Rhino likes putting Sandman’s wife in the hospital and Sandman’s kids watching her.
Jerry Lynn vs. Steve Corino
Corino is still Network and has Victory with him. Lynn chops away in the corner to start and scores with a middle rope bulldog. A clothesline sends Steve to the floor and Lynn’s big dive takes both of them out. Back in and Jerry is sent to the apron but he sends Steve down onto the floor to take over again. A tornado DDT onto the floor has Corino busted open already. Jerry gouges at the cut and hammers away back inside.
Corino gets punched in the corner but he’s still able to come out with an atomic drop. The blond hair is already half covered in blood. Some left hands and the Bionic Elbow put Lynn down for two and a powerslam gets the same. They head back to the floor with Corino making sexual remarks about some fans’ mothers before whipping Lynn into the barricade.
Back in and a t-bone suplex stops Lynn’s offense for two. Victory throws in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it into Corino’s face to put both guys down. Lynn hammers away and the blood is just flowing from Corino’s head. Another chair is brought in and Lynn DDTs Corino off the top rope onto the steel for two. Jerry is all ticked off and rubs Steve’s blood on his own face before writing DIE on his stomach. Corino comes back with a superkick for two but goes up, only to get taken down in an awkward looking attempt at a reverse DDT. It was closer to a Russian legsweep than anything else and gives Jerry a two count.
Corino hits the Old School Expulsion (a reverse Twist of Fate) for two of his own but Victory tries to bring in some powder. The referee gets blinded instead so there’s no one to count. Corino takes his boot off and lays Jerry out again but there’s no referee. Victory hits Lynn in the head with the cowbell for two and Jack is stunned. They trade rollups for two each until Lynn counters a backslide into a cradle piledriver for the pin.
Rating: B-. This was a solid brawl but as usual, I don’t get the booking. If you want Corino to look like a big deal, why have him lose? Jerry winning makes sense, but you would think there’s a better opponent for him. I say you would think that, because the roster is so thin at this point that there really isn’t anyone else for him to face. More great blood from Corino though.
We see almost half of Sandman vs. Rhino from Hardcore Heaven. This is more pay per view filler which they really shouldn’t need at this point.
Sandman, with Lori next to him, rants about what Rhino did and making him go see her in the hospital every day. Rhino sneaks in and nails Sandman in the head with a Singapore cane before taking Lori to a toilet to try to drown her. Sandman gets up for the save as security drags them off.
Dawn Marie comes out to do commentary for no apparent reason.
Here’s New Jack with a broken leg, only to get jumped by Da Baldies (Angel and DeVito, the only two left). Nova and Chris Chetti run in for the save and we have a tag match.
Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova
Nova is dressed as the Flash now and Chetti has bleach blond hair. Angel gets beaten up to start and Da Baldies are quickly knocked to the floor. Chetti and Nova both hit big dives to take out a Baldie each before Chetti tries to fight them both off on his own. Angel hits a nice jawbreaker to put Chris down but Nova misses a Swanton Bomb. DeVito hits a sitout Rock Bottom but misses a moonsault instead of covering. Nova pops back up and hits rolling piledrivers into a helicopter bomb for two on DeVito, followed by the Amityville Horror and the Tidal Wave gets the pin.
Rating: D+. Just a quick match here with Da Baldies basically getting squashed. Nova and Chetti really need something to do at this point as they’re bored beating all these teams. If only there were some belts for them to win or something like that. They’re barely breaking a sweat with these matches anymore and there’s nothing for them to win. It’s a big waste of a good act.
Tommy Dreamer talks about working at a pizzeria but never making enough money. Then he got into the wrestling business looking for the big payoff. He’s lost money, friends and jobs because of this and he wouldn’t change a thing. Francine and Justin Credible are all that stand in his way of the big payoff tonight and he wants to do things the hard way.
Dreamer nearly has a breakdown in front of the camera, ranting about how tired he is of being on a network that doesn’t respect them and everyone taking away what they created. He bangs his head into a locker and pulls at the cut….as we hear the ring announcer saying this is a three way dance because the production values aren’t very high.
Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri
Psicosis is a former ECW and WCW wrestler, making his return after about five years away. During the entrances, Mikey Whipwreck and the Sinister Minister hit the ring and we’re making it a four way.
Psicosis vs. Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Mikey, in a suit jacket, plants Psicosis to start and Tajiri kicks him to the floor. Whipwreck nails a quick Whippersnapper on Guido and throws him outside, setting up a huge dive. Tony Mamaluke (the other FBI member) comes in but gets dropped by Mikey. That’s the end of Mikey’s early success though as he dives on Big Sal, only to get rammed into the post. Back inside and Psicosis drops a guillotine legdrop on Mikey for the elimination less than two minutes in. Why in the world was he even added? If nothing else, it’s one more paycheck Heyman had to hand out.
Psicosis kicks Tajiri in the leg but gets armdragged down. A standing hurricanrana drops him as well as Guido is nowhere in sight. Tajiri gets his throat snapped across the top rope before Guido returns to fight Psicosis in the aisle. That’s fine with Tajiri who takes them both out with an Asai Moonsault. A hard kick to the head stuns Guido and a superplex plants him. Psicosis adds a moonsault legdrop for two before walking into the Kiss of Death (Tomikaze). Tajiri kicks Guido in the head and hits a German suplex on Psicosis for the elimination.
We’re down to Tajiri vs. Guido with the latter getting chopped in the corner. Tajiri tries to take him down in a powerbomb style pin but Guido keeps bridging up in a nice series of counters. The Tarantula has some more success for Tajiri and the fans are way behind him. The handspring elbow drops Guido again and it’s chair time.
Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe and baseball slides the chair into Guido’s face. Back up and Guido kicks the chair into Tajiri’s face and hits a bad looking middle rope Fameasser to send Tajiri outside. The fans inquire about their pizza before they slug it out in the corner. They chop it out until Tajiri blows the green mist in his eyes and hits a brainbuster for the pin.
Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about it. We’ve seen almost this same match about seven or eight times now and whoever wins is only going to be elevated for a little while before being dropped back down the card in favor of Sandman getting title matches despite giving wrestling a bad name every time he has one of his disasters. The match was decent enough but it’s not going to mean anything.
Justin Credible says tonight, ECW introduces barbed wire to pay per view. It’s going to be hanging above the ring in the Stairway to Hell match. Ignore the fact that there was barbed wire at Barely Legal.
TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino
Sandman, the challenger, takes another five minutes to get to the ring. They jaw at each other to start until Sandman literally breaks the cane over Rhino’s head. The champion doesn’t go down and nails Sandman with a clothesline to take over. Sandman comes back with left hands and the fight is already on the floor. We get a piece of barricade thrown into the ring and Sandman throws the monster into the steel.
A top rope hurricanrana puts Rhino onto the barricade for two and Sandman follows it up with a powerslam. The barricade is laid on top of Rhino again and a Swanton Bomb gets two. Now Rhino is sent into the barricade in the corner and the steel is bent in half, drawing out the Network to beat up Sandman.
Spike Dudley returns on a broken leg (injured by Rhino) and Corino takes a 3D with Spike playing Bubba. Rhino Gores Spike down and piledrives him off the apron and through a table. Back in and Sandman blasts Rhino in the head with another Singapore cane but Rhino breaks up his Russian legsweep by sending him into the bent barricade. A piledriver on the barricade is enough to retain Rhino’s title.
Rating: D. This was the best match of their series but only because they kept it contained. It’s still barely wrestling and Rhino deserves far better than this, but that’s Sandman dragging down a match for you. He’s far better when he keeps things simple and away from ladders, and that’s why this worked better.
We go back to the commentary booth where we’re reminded Dawn Marie is still there. She hasn’t been heard in nearly an hour. Joey gets in another argument with Cyrus.
Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton
Anton is Network and has a gimmick of clapping over his head. His finishing move: the Clapper (Sharpshooter). Even his song is about giving people the Clap. A quick kick to the face drops Anton and a quick Rolling Thunder gets two. Anton bails to the floor but Rob follows him out and nails a moonsault off the barricade. The spinning kick from the apron drives a chair into Anton’s back before taking him back inside for a delayed gorilla press.
A middle rope moonsault gets two for Rob as this has been one sided so far. Van Dam goes up for a Van Daminator but Anton takes the chair away and pelts it at Rob’s head to take over. Another chair shot has Rob in trouble and Anton bulldogs him off the apron and throat first onto the barricade. Back in and Rob gets tied in the Tree of Woe before he gets planted with a belly to back superplex for two. Scotty takes him down and makes Van Dam do the Clap, only to tick Rob off again.
They head outside again with Anton sending him face first into the barricade. Back to the Tree of Woe but Rob gets his foot free for a very weak kick to send a chair into Scotty’s face. Alfonso’s chair is intercepted but Rob kicks Anton in the face to put both guys down. The chair is skateboarded into Scotty’s face for two and the split legged moonsault gets the same. Alfonso puts the chair onto Anton for Rolling Thunder but Anton gets in a chair shot to the knee.
The Clapper (and a bad one) goes on but Scotty lets go and puts the hold on Alfonso. One of the most telegraphed Van Daminators yet makes the save and there’s the Five Star but Rob doesn’t cover. Instead Scotty crawls into the corner as the fans chant Terminator. Rob climbs the ropes as Alfonso puts a chair in Anton’s face. Van Dam gets a huge springboard and dropkicks the chair into Scotty’s face for the pin. So the big move was basically a springboard Van Daminator.
Rating: D+. This match’s problem can be boiled down to one idea: Scotty Anton is not very good. Back in WCW he never could do anything beyond basic moves and that’s still the case here. It’s nothing special to see and the match was really dull as a result. This was yet another waste of Van Dam, though he’s still the most over guy in the company.
We recap Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer, which is fallout from Cyberslam where Credible took the title from Dreamer twenty minutes after Tommy won it, as well as Hardcore Heaven where Dreamer had to give up his chance to prevent Credible from throwing the belt in the trash.
ECW World Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible
This is Stairway to Hell with barbed wire over the ring and ladders used to climb it, though you win by pinfall. Dreamer brings out Jazz to equalize Francine, but then brings out George, a former valet in WCW where she was known as Gorgeous George. An interesting note from just after the match starts is a group of XPW wrestlers (a local hardcore promotion) sitting at ringside causes a big commotion and allegedly touch Francine, though she would say there was no contact at all. Security and some of the locker room come get rid of them.
After about two minutes of waiting for things to calm down, we’re ready to go. They start with a technical sequence and Joey’s reaction is great: “A wrestling match has broken out!” Justin superkicks Dreamer in the face to take over as we’re just waiting on the weapons to come in. They’re quickly outside with Dreamer hitting Credible with a beer.
Alleged brawling takes place in the crowd but thankfully they stop walking around and get back to ringside. Never mind as they head back into the crowd with Justin already busted open. Dreamer brings out a ladder up near the announcers’ area but gets shoved off the ladder and down near the merchandise stand. Back to ringside with Dreamer getting in a shot to take over and putting the ladder on the corner in the ring. Dreamer gets whipped face first into the end of the ladder as Joey and Cyrus argue again.
Justin replaces the ladder with an open chair on the corner but puts the ladder over the bottom rope. Tommy catapults him hands first into the ladder (the camera shot ruined the spot) and goes up the ladder, onto to have Francine hit him low for the save. Dreamer falls but lands on Francine in a big crash, drawing in Jazz and George.
To the shock of no one with a brain, George turns on Jazz and helps Francine up. Francine misses a Bronco Buster to George and gets beaten up by Jazz, including ripping off her top to reveal tape. Jazz takes That’s Incredible but Dreamer hits the Tommyhawk (a reverse Outsider’s Edge but Dreamer pulls him down into a cutter) for two.
Dreamer climbs the ladder to bring down the barbed wire which he wraps around the top rope. Justin goes up top but gets crotched on the wire, only to be fine five seconds later as he pulls Tommy into That’s Incredible on the wire for two. Tommy hits a DDT onto the wire but Justin hits another That’s Incredible on the barbed wire to retain.
Rating: D. The ending was so obvious that it made the rest of the match feel like a bit waste of time. Justin gets to keep the belt for another few months and this match doesn’t take away any of the criticisms about him. He doesn’t come off as interesting or skilled, but rather a two move guy with a very generic cocky heel character to him. The barbed wire only came into play for the last minute and a half, making the rest of the match just a regular dull ECW brawl that we’ve seen about a dozen times before. Dreamer felt like he was a lame duck challenger coming in and that’s exactly what he came off looking like in the match.
Justin celebrates and Cyrus is thrilled to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This company is very quickly reaching a point where nothing seems to matter. It felt like I’ve seen these same matches on previous shows and this was just a big mixture of whatever ideas they’ve run with before. Rob Van Dam continued to be the most wasted piece of talent you’ll find in this era as he’s having a nearly twenty minute match with career dead weight Scotty Anton while Rhino beats up Sandman for what feels like six months and the midcard guys are still midcard guys because so few people get elevated in this company.
Why should a fan get behind most of the people in this company? Guys like Tajiri and Roadkill get some of the biggest reactions of the night but are stuck in the same three ways or meaningless tag matches (because who needs tag belts right?) for months on end with no way out in sight. It’s so frustrating to watch guys with talent working very hard to get over but getting stuck because the booking isn’t thought out or creative. The show tried, but it’s running around in circles.
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ECW on TNN – July 14, 2000: Another Bad Ep…..That’s Bobby Eaton!
ECW on TNN Date: July 14, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
It’s the go home show for Heat Wave and it can’t get here soon enough. I’m not sure what to expect when ECW wants to put on a go home show but they’re on a bit of a roll with advancing stories. Unfortunately there’s only so much advancement you can have here, though a few matches to Sunday’s card might help as I can only think of three matches at the moment. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel do their thing and Joel actually gets through his very dirty tennis rhyme. Instead of Cyrus for a change, here’s Raven to interrupt. So the rumors are that Raven is leaving so we hit the PLEASE DON’T GO chants. He thanks the fans and hugs the announcers, only to have Cyrus and Scotty Anton (of course) cut him off.
It’s a full THANK YOU RAVEN chant now but Cyrus says none of that matters to the network. He doesn’t care about Raven’s revolutionary gimmick either because Raven stole it from the Jackyl. Raven asks if this is going anywhere because he wanted to say goodbye and leave. Cyrus says Raven is going to have to bend over for the network, just like Paul Heyman. And now a match!
Raven vs. Scotty Anton
Anton takes a quick Even Flow but Rhino saves Cyrus from the same treatment. Raven gets driven through a table but Sandman (with one heck of a tan) comes in with the cane. Lori Fullington (Sandman’s wife) comes in and jumps on Cyrus’ back until security breaks it up. During the melee, Anton has Raven in the Clapper on the floor.
Rob Van Dam promises to debut the Van Terminator.
We go to the bathroom (of course) where Gary Wolfe says he’s back. Blue Meanie, now skinny and with adult star Jasmine St. Clair, comes out of a stall. Apparently his name is now the Blue Boy and he makes a bunch of fat jokes about Wolfe. Gary doesn’t take kindly to this but gets beaten down anyway. By the former Blue Meanie.
Tajiri vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Circling to start until Tajiri just blasts him with a superkick. Another kick sends Mikey off the apron for a crash into the barricade but Tajiri doesn’t know how to use a ring wrench. Instead Mikey takes over with a slingshot legdrop, only to get kicked in the face again. An inverted tornado DDT sets up an Octopus to make Mikey tap.
Rating: C. They kept this moving but I’m not sure what the point is in squashing Mike, who is doing stuff backstage to set up his new character. Tajiri can beat up anyone else to set up this big heel push but at least it was a good match with Mikey being able to work well with anyone. Tajiri wasn’t really a heel here though and that makes the turn a bit questionable so far.
Francine teases flashing us but it turns into Justin Credible talking about Sunday’s match against Tommy Dreamer.
Here are Simon and Swinger and their wacky band of misfits (great examples of people who could be let go to cut some costs) with something to say. They’re sick and tired of being a comedy act but here’s CW Anderson to get in Simon’s face. Anderson cleans house and even punches the Prodigette in the face. The Problem Solver lays out the Prodigy as the misfits seem to be gone as Anderson has joined Simon and Swinger.
CW issues an open challenge for a tag match, quick is quickly answered by Danny Doring and Roadkill. The numbers game gets the better of them but…..my goodness Bobby Eaton of all people comes out for the real save. Eaton is eventually superkicked down and the new alliance stands tall.
We run down the top of Sunday’s card.
Anderson, Swinger and Simon make jokes about Doring and Roadkill. A six man is announced with Doring and Roadkill plus Kid Kash fighting the trio.
Steve Corino/??? vs. Jerry Lynn/???
Another dream partner tag match with Corino picking Rhino and Lynn picking….well we’ll get to that in a second as Lynn gets Gored before anyone can come out. Jerry reaches over to the towel he brought in and pulls out a beer. Well that’s good for Jerry as he just happened to pick the guy Corino’s mystery partner was feuding with.
Sandman hits the ring and immediately eats a superkick from Corino. Well so much for that one. Everything heads outside with Lynn diving onto Corino despite there being almost no space between the ring and the barricade. Rhino and Sandman fight in the ring as Jerry blasts Corino in the head with a chair. All four get back inside for more brawling as they might as well have just had this be a brawl. I don’t know why they refer to this as a tag match as I don’t remember the last time there were actual tags in an ECW match.
Rhino piledrives Lynn for two, followed by a White Russian legsweep to give Sandman the same. Cyrus comes in to break up the cradle piledriver and Corino elbows Lynn through a table at ringside. This brings in Little Spike Dudley to play Bubba in a 3D to give Sandman the pin on Rhino.
Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I know this is the ECW standard but that doesn’t mean it holds up or is anything that I’d want to see again. The ending does help set up Sunday’s title match and I guess helps with Lynn vs. Corino but there was no better way than having this mess? I’m just not a fan of these things and they really show how horrible Sandman is at “wrestling”.
A long pay per view ad takes us out.
Overall Rating: D+. This was another example of ECW being all over the place with a few matches being added to Sunday’s show. That helps a few things but doesn’t make this the best use of less than forty one minutes I’ve ever seen. Heat Wave really needs to change some things up for the sake of keeping the show fresh, but I have a feeling we won’t exactly be seeing that on Sunday.
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ECW on TNN – July 7, 2000: It You Build It….Well It Really Doesn’t Matter
ECW on TNN Date: July 7, 2000
Location: The Odeum, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
For once ECW actually has built up a big match for this show as Sandman is challenging Justin Credible for the ECW World Title. We’re also nine days away from Heat Wave, meaning it’s almost time to start something fresh, assuming that’s actually done in this promotion anymore. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look at the matches taped for Hardcore TV before this show went on the air.
Gorgeous George (just George here in ECW) is in the ring to start but Francine runs out and blasts her with a cane. See, it’s her house and she’s the Queen of Extreme and all that jazz. Not Jazz but jazz.
Opening sequence.
Joel and Joey are in the ring and IT’S CYRUS COMING OUT TO YELL AT JOEL AGAIN! Cyrus does his thing so Joel brings out Spike Dudley (remember he used to manage the Dudleys) despite Spike’s knee being horrible at the moment. Spike blames Cyrus for deporting Super Crazy, stripping Rob Van Dam of the TV Title (I’m sure Van Dam could have fought on a destroyed leg/ankle) and having Rhino break Spike’s leg. Cue Rhino to prevent Cyrus’ death and here’s Pitbull Gary Wolfe to fight for Spike.
TV Title: Gary Wolfe vs. Rhino
I’m assuming this is a title match but Wolfe spends too much time setting up a table in the corner, allowing Rhino to hit the Gore. A piledriver through the table retains Rhino’s title. I actually like them making this a match instead of just a quick beatdown. It’s not like it hurts anything.
Raven is upset and Styles is shocked that he’s here. He works here Joey.
Recap of Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn, the latter of whom may or may not be part of the Network.
Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn
Lynn baseball slides him into the barricade and they’re brawling in a hurry. Back in and a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Tajiri down and sends us to a break. We come back with Tajiri grabbing a hammerlock with his leg wrapped around Lynn’s neck. Cue Cyrus dressed as Jerry’s trainer (because reasons) as Lynn comes back with a great looking German suplex.
A tornado DDT gets two on Tajiri and a superplex makes things even worse. As you might expect, Tajiri comes back with a kick (a missile dropkick in this case) but Jerry sends him outside. Jerry claims an elbow injury so Tajiri puts him in an octopus hold. A little mist gets rid of Cyrus but Tajiri puts him in the Tarantula just in case. Cue Steve Corino to kick Lynn in the face, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the face for the pin.
Rating: C+. The ending was pretty badly telegraphed as everyone was so sure that it was going to be Lynn and then DUN DUN DUN, it’s actually Tajiri. I’ve heard worse ideas but they didn’t do the best job of hiding this. At least the match was hard hitting and entertaining though and that’s an improvement.
Justin and Francine are in the back and Credible is drooling over his belt. Sandman won’t take it from him tonight.
We see a clip of Simon and Swinger beating down the new Dangerous Alliance last week on Hardcore TV.
Simon and Swinger vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Roadkill/Danny Doring
It’s a brawl to start (duh) with Doring and Roadkill taking over on both teams. Nova and Chetti start firing off the kicks to the much bigger Roadkill, only to have to deal with Simon and Swinger. Roadkill hits the always cool double clothesline off the top but here’s CW Anderson (of the Dangerous Alliance) to clean house. A quick Simonizer (reverse DDT) eliminates Nova and we’re down to two teams. Doring and Roadkill clean house until Doring takes WAY too long on the top, allowing Chetti to shove him down. Swinger adds an implant DDT for the pin.
Rating: D+. I like all three of these teams but sweet goodness they were flying through this so fast that nothing had the chance to sink in. All three teams have a lot of potential and it would be nice if they had something to fight over, but for reasons that I’ll never comprehend, Heyman decided that the titles could be vacated on April 22 and new champions wouldn’t be crowned for four months. But at least the matches are good, when they have time that is.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Sandman
Justin is defending and Dawn Marie is referee for reasons of “well, we advertised her so she has to do something.” Oh and she hates Justin to make it even screwier. Dawn and Francine start the catfight but Justin canes Dawn in the head to get rid of her. Sandman starts on the floor and sends Justin into the barricade to avoid the whole wrestling thing.
That’s the perfect time to bring in a wooden pallet for an actually successful whip across the ring. Justin whips him into it for a change and the referee (not Dawn) is bumped. Sandman hits a hurricanrana (not without some pelvic thrusts into Justin’s face of course) and here’s Dusty Rhodes to count the two. Dusty fights off Corino and Victory and leaves, allowing Francine to just unload on Sandman with a cane.
That brings out Gorgeous George for the catfight, followed by Scotty Anton to beat on Sandman. Raven makes the save but gets a cane to the head. Those two fight to the back, leaving Sandman to toss Justin through a table in the corner. Now it’s Rhino coming in to blast Sandman, setting up That’s Incredible to retain Justin’s title.
Rating: C. Oh why not? There’s no indication that Sandman can actually wrestle and I haven’t seen any proof that Credible can do much besides swing a cane and Tombstone people so this is about as much as you can expect. It’s also ECW to a nutshell: violence, chaos and absolutely no wrestling in sight.
We’re still not done as Tommy Dreamer comes out with Jazz for a piledriver on some barbed wire to really bust Credible open to finally end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Some stupid stuff aside, it was so nice to actually get somewhere with any of the big stories, even if it was something that wasn’t much of a surprise. Heat Wave can’t get here soon enough though and the shows are getting just slightly better, though to be fair it wasn’t hard to improve over what they were doing just a few weeks ago.
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ECW on TNN – June 30, 2000: This Isn’t The Pay Per View?
ECW on TNN Date: June 30, 2000 Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 2,000 Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
The stupidly slow march towards Heat Wave continues as we keep waiting for anything new to happen. For a company built on the idea of being all energetic and insane, they certainly do know how to stay stuck in one place and never move out of it like few others I’ve ever seen. Let’s get to it.
Cyrus says the Whole F’ing Show might become the Dead F’ing Show when Rhino gets done with him.
Opening sequence.
The arena is really dimly lit, which suggests a bad house. If the 2,000 is accurate though, that’s hardly bad.
The FBI and Tajiri are in the ring with Joel and Joey for the opening but Jerry Lynn in a referee shirt cuts off Joel’s punchline (it involved hitting the ceiling). Jerry wants them out of the ring because he has this one under control. Last week was a mistake because Tajiri (Lynn: “This son of a b*$&@, but a very nice guy!”) blew mist in his eyes. The regular referee says he’s in charge but Jerry decides there are going to be two referees. That earns the regular referee a piledriver and we’re ready to go.
Tajiri vs. Little Guido
Tajiri is smart enough to give Tony Mamaluke a brainbuster before we’re ready to go. They speed things up very quickly for a few near falls each until Tajiri knees him in the head. Guido takes him down into a Fujiwara Armbar followed by some chops in the corner, only to have Tajiri grab his own Fujiwara Armbar for a nice touch. They head outside with Tajiri blasting him in the head with a kick, followed by the required chair shot.
Back in with Guido barely able to stand as Joey talks about a Nitro star defecting tonight. A bite to the head cuts Guido open and it’s time to kick at the cut. Back from a break with a table in the ring and Guido getting kicked even more. The Kiss of Death (Killswitch) gets two on Tajiri, who comes right back by kicking Lynn low. Cue Big Sal for a 600lb slam to crush Tajiri, giving Guido the pin.
Rating: C+. I like both of these guys and they were allowed to just wrestle for the most part, making this a much better match than most of what you get around here. The ending was your standard “well we don’t quite know yet” fare but you have to expect that. I mean, it’s only been like a month and a half of the same thing. That’s just getting warmed up in ECW.
Joey isn’t sure if Lynn saw anything because OF COURSE we don’t know anything for sure.
Van Dam wants his TV Title back tonight.
Mikey Whipwreck is freaking out over something to Sinister Minister. You can barely hear anything they’re talking about because of music playing in the background. Mikey says this is worth $1000 for two minutes but Minister isn’t convinced. They open the door and it’s WCW’s Gorgeous George dancing. Minister’s mind changes in a hurry. Mikey looks at the camera and says OH YEAH while doing the Randy Savage finger waves. Minister looks in again and I can’t say I blame him.
RVD is ready.
TNN actually airs a commercial for ECW. It’s for a show that aired earlier in the month but it’s a commercial nonetheless.
Francine vs. Jazz
Before the match, Francine says no way but here’s Jazz to cut her off. Jazz makes some threats but gets jumped by Justin Credible. Cue Tommy Dreamer for the save and let’s have a mixed tag.
Francine/Justin Credible vs. Jazz/Tommy Dreamer
Jazz headscissors Justin to start but he low blows Dreamer as things settle down. An enziguri puts Justin on the floor and the guys fight into the crowd. Justin actually gets the better of it and takes over inside as Joel makes sex jokes about Dreamer and Francine. Francine even gets in a few shots on Dreamer’s leg, only to have him claw her between the legs. A chair to the back puts Justin down and that means it’s time for a table.
Naturally Dreamer goes face first into said table (he brought it in after all) and everything breaks down with the heels being put in stereo Trees of Woe. That means double delayed dropkicks into chairs into their faces before the Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter for a really cool looking move) gives Dreamer the pin on the champ.
Rating: D. Well that exists. I have no idea why Jazz vs. Francine is a thing but at least this helps set up Dreamer as a more credible (gah) challenger at the pay per view. I mean that’s a ladder match with barbed wire above the ring but at least it’s better than watching them try to have a regular match.
Jazz brings out barbed wire but the Network comes out to take care of Dreamer with Jack Victory kidnapping Jazz, leaving the rest to beat on Dreamer. Justin tombstones him on the barbed wire to make the blood flow even harder. Oh and Francine gets to pin Dreamer, making sure that he loses any heat he might have earned from the pin.
TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Rhino
Rhino is defending and they hammer on each other in the corner to start with Van Dam getting the better of it. A springboard kick to the face has Rhino in trouble but Rob poses instead of following up. Rhino gorilla presses him to take over but gets caught in a hurricanrana. The Gore hits way too early and Rob is up at two. You don’t often see finishers treated like middle of the road moves like that. We hit the chinlock for a bit followed by a spinebuster for two.
Rhino’s middle rope headbutt gets two more but gets caught by a stepover kick to the face. More kicks to the head have Rhino in trouble and there’s the Rolling Thunder onto a chair onto Rhino. Van Dam loads up the Five Star but here’s Scotty Anton to shove him off the top and that’s a DQ, which I didn’t even know existed in ECW.
Rating: C-. I know it didn’t have a finish and it was just an eight minute match, but these two should have been the main event of Heat Wave, not Rhino vs. Sandman (been done to death already) and Van Dam vs. Anton (kill me now). The match was fine enough and both guys looked good but this really shouldn’t have happened on TV when ECW is dying for money, which could have been brought in by a well publicized match between these two.
Van Dam has to fight off the entire Network but Credible gets in a Singapore cane shot to put him down. Sandman FINALLY comes out (after the fans chant for him for a good while) and beats Justin up to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. See, now this one I can get behind. For one thing, this show was all about the wrestling with three matches, all of which actually played a role in a story. More importantly than that though, the main event is building towards a big match next week as Sandman challenges Credible for the title. It doesn’t have to be some grand production. Just have the wrestling actually build somewhere and I’m much happier.
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ECW on TNN – June 23, 2000: Maybe They Should Be Canceled
ECW on TNN Date: June 23, 2000
Location: O’Neill Center, Danbury, Connecticut
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
We’re running out of time before Heat Wave and maybe they could actually bother to start setting things up this week. Or maybe even advancing some stories for a change. Instead, I’d assume we’ll be getting more Network vs. ECW because that’s the only story they know how to tell anymore. By tell I mean repeat over and over. Let’s get to it.
Rob Van Dam and Fonzie are excited about heading to Los Angeles for Heat Wave.
Earlier tonight, New Jack climbed a ladder to get into the rafters and dove onto someone not important enough to name and drive him through a table. Ah apparently it was Chris Hamrick, which I had to find online. Thanks for taking that big of a bump Chris.
New Jack is ready to go to LA as well because he wants to show us his hometown. He can’t wait to get violent in his old stomping grounds.
Opening sequence.
Cyrus is in the arena to yell at Joey because there isn’t going to be ECW on TNN tonight. See, there can’t be a show because there’s no color commentator because Joel is still in the hospital. Joey isn’t going to get to put himself over tonight and has ten seconds to produce a commentator or there’s no show.
Cue Gertner to chase off Cyrus again but Cyrus runs into Francine. After complimenting her cleavage, he thinks it’s time for her to take care of him by beating Gertner up in exchange for saving Justin Credible’s title last week. Francine gets inside and rips Joey for being a Catholic (seriously) and having his wife in the crowd.
It’s Joel’s turn now but he brings out Tommy Dreamer to do his fighting for him. The announcers bail and Francine starts begging off because Justin isn’t here tonight. Sexual favors are offered if he’ll break his silence since Cyberslam. Nothing is said so Francine slaps him in the jaw, only to have Jazz come in and lay her out. That’s your first third of the show by the way.
Tony Mamaluke vs. Chilly Willy
Williy gets caught in an early tornado DDT for two but comes back with a falcon’s arrow for the pin in just over a minute.
Guido comes in and lays Chilly out before trying to break the referee’s arm. This brings out Balls Mahoney for the big save but he can’t drop Big Sal. A middle rope headbutt crushes Balls’ ribs so here Mikey Whipwreck with a FLAMING 2×4 for the real save. That thing was lit up too.
Simon and Swinger are in their locker room when the Prodigy and the Prodigette come in to waste time. Cue the Musketeer for more comedy, only to have the Dangerous Alliance come in for the big showdown. Much like everything else tonight, this goes nowhere.
Scotty Anton turns the lights on and off with the Clap. They’re ready to take care of Van Dam on Los Angeles and that’s about it.
Steve Corino vs. Tajiri
Corino has Jack Victory in his corner and this is a rematch from Hardcore Heaven. We’re still not ready to go though as Cyrus comes out AGAIN and tells the referee to cheat for Corino. The referee says no so Cyrus lays him out and brings out Jerry Lynn as guest referee. Cyrus to Corino: “It’s just like Montreal. It’s in the bag.” Feeling out process to start with Corino claiming a pull of the trunks.
With nothing going on, Joel previews what’s coming up next in a parody of last week’s ending as the video goes into the corner. Instead of Arena Football though, we get EXTREME TEST PATTERNS! Joel: “Will cyan clash with magenta??? TUNE IN TONIGHT!” Funny stuff, as is often the case with Gertner. Tajiri hits a neckbreaker for the first real offense and a neckbreaker. A spinwheel kick puts Corino on the floor and the handspring (not the elbow) sends a chair into Steve’s face to draw some blood.
Corino bled like almost no one I’ve ever seen back then so it’s no minor cut. A knee to the head makes the blood even worse and Tajiri baseball slides a chair into Steve’s head. Tajiri is nice enough to wipe some blood away but gets suplexed through a table. Is that a traditional Japanese thank you? Corino drops a Bionic Elbow for two and the Network is livid. It’s made even worse as Tajiri grabs Steve’s crotch and mists Jerry by mistake. Corino gives up to the Octopus Hold but the blind Lynn hits Tajiri by mistake, giving Corino the pin.
Rating: B-. Again that’s on the ECW scale because their matches just aren’t that good most of the time. The Jerry Lynn stuff is even more of the same nonsense but you have to expect that at this point. Corino could bleed like few others for a cool visual but the story is in the same place it was in a month ago and that’s not good at all.
Joey wraps it up by hyping a Chicago house show the next night of the fifth or so time on this show. Oh and Rhino defends the TV Title again Rob Van on free TV just because.
Overall Rating: D-. The main event helped a lot but this was a hue waste of a week. We had a bunch of talking that we’ve seen before, a match we’ve seen before and a one minute match that set up Mikey playing with fire. With less than a month to go before the pay per view, they really should be going somewhere instead of doing the same stuff they were doing back in May. This show is flatlining in a hurry and REALLY needs to change before it gets even worse.
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