ECW on TNN Date: June 16, 2000
Location: Lawrence Convention Center, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
We’re a month away from Heat Wave and a few matches have already been announced. That being said, it would be nice if we actually had something other than “ECW vs. Network brawl to end the show.” It doesn’t have to be anything great but they need to mix things up a little bit as things are really getting repetitive around here. Let’s get to it.
Sandman has been attacked and put in an ambulance.
Opening sequence.
Joey and Joel are cut off by Cyrus before Joel can get to his punchline about food. Cyrus wants to talk to Gertner but it takes a bit to get past the ECW/GERTNER chants. The problem is Gertner’s looks are killing the ratings so it’s time to get rid of him. Joel is tired of dealing with Cyrus using him to get over so it’s time to fight. Cyrus says there used to be a kid in his school that reminds him of Joel. Cyrus: “Do you know what I used to do to him?” Joel: “You used to suck his *#&$!” That earns Joel a slap to the face so he goes on a rant about how no one is here to see Cyrus so get to the point already.
The threat of being fired makes Joel apologize, but he means sorry that he has to take a blood test because Cyrus spat in his eye. Joel is ready to fight but Rhino runs in and Gores him. The usual suspects come in for the big brawl. We get the Van Dam vs. Anton showdown and you can hear people canceling their pay per view buys from here. This ate up the first fifteen minutes of the show after closing last week’s show. Well done.
Justin Credible gets in an argument with Rhino but Cyrus breaks things up.
Cyrus tells the medics that Gertner has an object lodged in his anus.
EZ Money vs. Kid Kash
Joined in progress as they speed things up early on. A headscissors from Kash gives us a stalemate but Money’s (who has bills hanging from his trunks) partner Chris Hamrick offers a distraction. Kash sends Money outside for a big flip dive and we take a break. Back (Joey: “On the Deliverance Channel.”) with Money hitting a modified piledriver, allowing Hamrick to add a guillotine legdrop. Kash’s moonsault press is countered into something like a reverse Razor’s Edge. A pinfall reversal sequence goes nowhere (likely because the pinfalls were reversed) and Kash hits a quick Moneymaker for the pin.
Rating: C. More cruiserweight style stuff here with Kash exchanging hurricanranas for actual wrestling or high flying skills. A win in a glorified handicap match makes Kash look good and that’s the best thing they can do when they’re trying to build up a new star. Not a good match or anything but it accomplished a goal, which is all it needed to do.
Kash gets beaten down until New Jack makes the save and does his usual insane stuff. He even hits Hamrick with an NES and uses a staple gun on Money for some blood. This goes on for a long time as we’re over halfway through the show. I get that the fans love New Jack and everything, but we’re half an hour in and we’ve seen an announcer get beaten down, a brawl we’ve seen over and over and an average match followed by a New Jack beatdown. If that’s the best they can do, maybe the show should be canceled.
Sinister Minister and his congregation (including Mikey Whipwreck, Balls Mahoney and a bunch of plants) rail against censorship. The Prodigette plays Monica Lewinsky underneath the podium and everyone starts laughing.
Credible and Rhino argue again with the same conclusion.
The Network wishes Jerry Lynn luck but he brushes them off. Joey, being an announcer, thinks this means a lot more than it seems. To be fair he’s probably right.
ECW World Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible
Justin is defending. They chop it out to start with Justin getting the better of it but being sent outside for a whip into the barricade. The fight heads into the crowd and thankfully there’s a camera to see them fighting in an open space. I can’t stand it when the brawl is really just their heads moving through the crowd. Lynn wins a slugout over the bloody champion and drives his knuckles into the cut.
They get back in with Francine passing in a chair for a delayed dropkick in the corner. A jumping knee to the head (he did used to be part of the Kliq) and we hit the chinlock. The fans want tables because New Jack and these two brawling in the crowd isn’t enough violence. Jerry fights up and they chop it out with Lynn getting the better of it this time and sending Justin outside for a big dive. A super hurricanrana through a table satiates the fans’ blood lust for a bit. The possibly ruined knees can be forgiven of course.
That’s only good for two on the champ though so Lynn sets up another table in the corner. Francine throws in a chair but the DDT only gets two. The fans yell about wanting the table but have to settle for Jazz throwing Francine inside. Jazz’s X-Factor gets two on Justin and here’s the Network to make this even messier. That’s Incredible gets two on Jerry as the Network takes Francine to the back.
The referee gets bumped (LIKE IT MATTERS) so there’s no count off the cradle piledriver. Rhino comes in and Gores Lynn through the table though it’s not clear who it was meant for. Either way it’s enough for…..I think a pin as the video is sent into the corner while an Arena Football on TNN ad covers up most of the screen. Seriously.
Rating: D+. I know it’s the ECW style but these way over the top matches full of interference and weapons are getting ridiculous. Even worse though, we STILL haven’t advanced anything as it’s still not clear if Lynn is Network or not. I’ve seen worse matches but they should be able to go more than a minute straight without some kind of shenanigans.
Overall Rating: D. For DO SOMETHING ALREADY! Heat Wave is getting closer and ECW clearly has no idea hot to actually build to a pay per view. I’m barely even sure what matches are taking place on the show as ECW has done almost nothing to promote it so far. Instead it’s all about fighting TNN and Heyman airing his grievances on TV every single week. The show wasn’t the worst but my patience is wearing thin with this promotion.
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ECW on TNN – June 9, 2000: He’s Still Just Scotty Riggs
ECW on TNN Date: June 9, 2000
Location: Alario Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
Maybe a trip down to New Orleans can speed things up a bit. As was the case coming into last week, the stories are interesting but they almost never go anywhere. Jerry Lynn as the wildcard in the big stable war has potential though, especially if he gets to be the one that goes after Rhino or Credible next. Scotty Anton continues to be death though and I think everyone knows it. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Joey and Joel do their entrance (the rhyme is about something going in a woman’s eye) and bring out hometown girl Jazz for a chat. She starts talking about how awesome she is until Justin Credible jumps her from behind with the Singapore cane. Justin has to drag Francine off of Jazz before saying he’s doing this because of Tommy Dreamer. If Tommy wants it to stop, come out here and fight. Cue Dreamer but everything is broken up.
Cyrus gives Scotty Anton a match with Raven, suggesting that he give Raven the Clap.
Paul Heyman has been banned from the show but he’s talking on ECW’s website.
Raven wants Anton to know that the world is filled with kings and queens.
Joey and Joel mock TNN’s response to the comments last week.
Scotty Anton vs. Raven
Before the match (and thankfully after a commercial), Cyrus offers Raven a spot in the Network because he used to be a ratings draw. Raven wants to know if he’s going to get some promo time. That’s not possible so Cyrus says he’s going to shake Anton’s hand and then Evenflow him. The match is on fast with Raven pounding away in the corner (Joey: “And the fans counting the viewers in Rollerjam after this show!”).
They head outside with Raven hitting him in the face but missing a middle rope elbow through a table. Back in and Anton slowly stomps away because he’s not talented enough to do anything more interesting. Anton works on the leg which he wraps around the post a few times. At least there’s an idea here. Raven comes back with a few shots to the face and a running knee lift, followed by the drop toehold into the chair. Anton gets out of a backslide though and puts on the Clapper for the surprise tap out.
Rating: C. This was actually better than I was expecting with Anton keeping things simple enough and letting Raven walk him through the match. There’s actually an interesting story with the Network deciding that someone who used to work in WCW had star power but there’s just NOTHING to back it up in the ring.
Da Baldies grew up on the streets and now they want to beat up New Jack. Again.
We get a WAY too long video on Justin Credible/Francine, as in over four minutes straight. I still do not get the appeal here.
The main event is a mystery partner tag match with Justin Credible and Tommy Dreamer both getting to pick a surprise partner. Cyrus comes out to offer Rhino’s services to Justin, who may be an annoying character but he’s not stupid. Dreamer has someone of his own though and this really shouldn’t be all that surprising.
Justin Credible/Rhino vs. Tommy Dreamer/Sandman
The brawl starts on the floor (duh) and it’s actually Rhino vs. Dreamer in the ring as I can’t imagine we see an actual tag match. A neckbreaker puts Rhino down and we’ve already got a ladder. Dreamer and Rhino fight into the crowd, leaving Sandman to be whipped into the ladder. Justin gets the same treatment as the other two come down the steps to get back inside.
A bulldog sends Justin into the ladder and all four are inside for the first time. Sandman drops Rhino with a super hurricanrana but here’s Steve Corino to break up a superplex on Justin. Tajiri comes out for the save, allowing Sandman to suplex Justin onto the ladder. Now it’s Anton to make it 4-3 as we’re waiting on Van Dam. That seems to happen a lot around here. Van Dam comes out a few seconds later and takes out Rhino with a really awkward looking Van Daminator with Rob bending down in front of him for a few seconds until someone throws Rhino a chair. A Five Star Frog Splash lets Sandman pin Rhino.
Rating: D+. Standard wild brawl here with the same people fighting to end the show that always end the show. That’s still the problem around here: it’s always “wait until next week” but next week is always more of the same. They need to actually get somewhere and hopefully that doesn’t mean waiting all the way until Heat Wave.
The Network beats the good guys down with a HORRIBLE Clapper on Van Dam ending the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Here’s the problem with the main event booking: all this happens every single week and it’s clear that Van Dam is gearing up for a huge match at Heat Wave. Who did he wind up getting? Scotty Anton. ECW is fighting for its life and their biggest star is facing Scotty Anton on a pay per view.
I get the idea of building something up but the title matches of Sandman vs. Rhino and Dreamer vs. Credible had been done before. At this point, they might as well have just put the World Title on Van Dam and built to their big title vs. title match. Wasting Van Dam on Anton was just another bad booking choice though and it’s caught up with ECW.
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ECW on TNN Date: May 26, 2000
Location: Gwinnett Civic Center, Duluth, Georgia
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
So I got a big start on this series and had twenty episodes to go when I took a bit of a break. That was nearly two years ago so I figured I might as well get back to it and knock the rest of this series out now that it’s on the Network. We’re past Hardcore Heaven and Justin Credible is ECW World Champion. TV Champion Rhino has issued an open challenge for his TV Title for some point in the future. Let’s get to it.
We open with a black and white video on Sandman being destroyed by Rhino. Sandman’s wife was piledriven through a table as a bonus.
Opening sequence.
Joel and Joey do their thing and rip on TNN because that’s how you stay on a network.
Interviewer Steven Prazak goes in to find out if Justin Credible has a concussion problem. Francine and Justin yell at him before throwing Prazak out.
Simon Diamond rants into a mirror about being a comedy act after a year in this company. The Musketeer (exactly what he sounds like) comes out of a bathroom stall to offer his services as a tag partner. That goes nowhere so here’s Johnny Swinger, from Atlanta, with the same offer. Simon is impressed and decides his problem is solved.
Masato Tanaka vs. Balls Mahoney
Tanaka starts in on the arm and they do an awkward looking wrestling sequence to the mat. Yet again we hear about Balls being banned from amateur wrestling in New Jersey for punching out a referee as he takes over with some jabs. That just earns him an armbar as Joel goes on a semi-racist rant about how he can’t date Japanese girls because he’s always hungry again twenty minutes later.
They head outside where Tanaka is whipped into the barricade as Joel wonders how parents in Nutley, New Jersey could name their son BALLS. A chair shot to the back doesn’t have much effect on Tanaka so they head inside for a powerslam on Mahoney. A Ball Breaker (sitout spinebuster) gets two on Tanaka with a frog splash connecting for the same. It’s time to duel with the chairs (a signature spot for them) and Tanaka no sells some shots to the head.
A big shot finally puts him down for two and now it’s Balls’ turn to no sell for a bit. Those shots are terrifying now as they’re just straight chairs to the head with no protection. A tornado DDT onto the chairs is countered into the Nutcracker Sweet (something like a sitout over the shoulder tombstone) for two on Tanaka.
Diamond Dust (a middle rope flipping Stunner) gets two on Balls but he kicks a chair into Masato’s face. It’s table time (because of course) but Balls also has a black bag full of tacks. Ever the scientist, Tanaka reverses a superplex into a tornado DDT through the table, driving himself into the tacks in the process, though it’s enough to put Mahoney away.
Rating: C. This one depends on your taste but it was a hard hitting ECW brawl. Those chair shots are too much for me anymore though. They were fun when we didn’t realize how bad they were but now……yeah they’re hard to sit through. Tanaka is one of the hardest hitting guys you’ll ever see so he was perfect for Mahoney, though that ending is a bit hard to take. Balls can survive several hard chair shots to the head but a tornado DDT through a table knocks him out?
The Sinister Minister is talking about Mikey Whipwreck when Big Sal attacks him. A now crazy Mikey makes the save with a fireball.
Tommy Dreamer beats up Prazak for asking about losing the World Title. Prazak: “BUT YOU’RE A BABYFACE!”
Tajiri vs. Scotty Anton
Former Network vs. Network. That means here’s Cyrus with the rest of his evil Network stable to say Mr. Nielsen is popping off because of Anton’s clap gimmick. The fans want RVD out here to kill Anton (who screwed him at Hardcore Heaven). Joey: “Even for TNN this is disgraceful!” Anton makes sure we know that he’s Scotty and he wants us all to have The Clap. This keeps going WAY too long as we’re waiting on wrestling anytime now. Actually Cyrus says Scotty is off tonight because it’s all about the ratings. Joey: “Then why is Rollerjam still on the air?” Hey I liked that show. Cyrus has a replacement.
Tajiri vs. Jerry Lynn
This could be good. Feeling out process to start with Tajiri dropkicking Lynn out of the air. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker drops Tajiri and the Network shouts encouragement to Jerry, though he doesn’t seem that receptive. Lynn’s tornado DDT (too common a move around here) is countered with something like a suplex into the corner but Lynn is right back up with a springboard dropkick ala Chris Jericho.
Back in and a hard kick to the head drops Jerry again as Joel goes on an anti-TNN rant, nearly verbatim to one Heyman made around the same time. A powerbomb gets two on Tajiri as this is just a collection of spots so far. Lynn is tired of wrestling and just stomps away before grabbing a chair. Jack Victory trips Tajiri though and the cradle piledriver gives Jerry the pin (it wasn’t clear if he saw the interference).
Rating: C+. Better than you would normally get around this time from ECW with a lot more wrestling and a lot less violence. That’s a smart way to book the show as the opener was violent and this one was more wrestling based. Balancing the show out like that is almost always better than going full on with one style.
Post match Tajiri gets beaten down until RVD makes the save. The weird thing here is the Network has Walk by Pantera edited out but the fans are still seen chanting along. Van Dam is beaten down but Tajiri makes the save with some mist.
Video on Dawn Marie. Nothing special here as it’s really just a reminder that she’s hot.
Prazak asks Raven about Credible’s concussion but Raven is depressed about Francine turning on him. Francine comes in and yells at him (with the camera staying on her upskirt shot the whole time) until Credible lays Raven out. Dreamer’s save attempt fails to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as nothing major happened but they’re advancing the story at a slow pace, which makes sense given that they have almost two months until the next pay per view. The wrestling was acceptable (again by ECW standards) but this Network feud really isn’t all that interesting. It’s an interesting take on the corporate villains but we get the concept already and they’re not making it any easier by saying the same things over and over.
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ECW on TNN Date: June 2, 2000
Location: Seagate Center, Toledo, Ohio
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles
Things are still moving at a slow pace as we have Tommy Dreamer and Raven in their weird alliance against Justin Credible and Sandman wanting revenge on Rhino over attacking his wife. That’s in addition to ECW vs. the Network in the top (I think?) feud. That sounds like enough to have them overflowing with content but somehow it’s a very slow process. Let’s get to it.
Joey and Joel are in the ring to start and Raven is sitting in the corner. After some TNN insults, Joel doesn’t have a dirty rhyme tonight. Joey tells him to make something up, likely because the fans sounded like they were about to riot. He makes one up on the spot that ends with saying how tight the women in Toledo are. You can fill in the details yourself.
Off to Raven, who is sick of Justin Credible stealing everything from him. The other day Justin called him and quoted Keep on Rocking in the Free World, which was enough to make Raven realize Justin could never be him. Cue Justin and Francine, both of whom Raven calls a rather mean name.
The fight is on with Raven getting the better of it until a Francine distraction lets Justin swing the Singapore cane. Tommy Dreamer makes a better save attempt this week as Justin bails, leaving Scotty Anton to sneak in and beat on Raven. The referee of all people yells at Cyrus, only to get beaten down by Anton. Scotty puts the referee in a Sharpshooter and it’s time for THE CLAP!
Opening sequence.
Guido is working out when Tony Mamaluke (from ECW’s Mamalukes’ mini stable) makes his debut. That makes Guido mad because Tony is a fake Italian so he has an idea.
Kid Kash vs. Grimes
The much smaller Kash starts with a headscissors but gets run over by a standing splash. Grimes goes with the power by loading up a reverse Razor’s Edge but flipping forward into something like a sitout powerslam. Cool move actually. Back up and Kash tries to climb onto Grimes’ shoulders for a faceplant but it’s more like a slap to the back of his head.
Another headscissors has Grimes in trouble and Kash knocks him outside for a big running springboard flip dive. Back in and Kash dives into a cutter, followed by a Vader Bomb into a low blow. Kash’s hurricanrana is countered into a flapjack, only to have him grab a rolling victory roll for the pin on Grimes and a big upset.
Rating: D+. Kash is a bunch of spots and little more as he rarely did anything aside from headscissors and hurricanranas. The victory roll ending made sense as it’s not like he can hit a piledriver on someone the size of Grimes. If nothing else it was nice to see Grimes doing something other than fighting New Jack again and again.
We get the same somber Sandman vs. Rhino video from last week.
Johnny Swinger is posing in front of a fan. Swinger: “See? My biggest fan is blowing me.” The Musketeer comes in and tries to fight the fan due to reasons of bad comedy. Prodigy and the Prodigette get doused in Swinger’s oil.
Tony Mamaluke vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Tony tries to take him to the mat early on but gets launched into the air for a faceplant. Guido offers a distraction so Tony can take it outside, only to try a moonsault and LAND ON THE BACK OF HIS NECK ON THE BARRICADE. That’s one of the scariest bumps I’ve ever seen but Mikey takes him back inside for a spinning Pedigree for the fast pin.
Mikey gives an attacking Guido the Whippersnapper post match. Big Sal comes in before fire can be used but gets powder in his eyes. The blind Sal lays out Marinara with a side slam and gorilla press toss into the crowd.
Post break Sinister Minister calls Big Sal a glutton for punishment. Every time he comes near Mikey, Sal is set on fire. If there’s one thing Minister won’t accept, it’s stupidity. Therefore, the next time Sal comes near him, Sal will learn the meaning of spontaneous combustion. Mikey says no way so Minister calls him a liar and lights his pants on fire. Minister laughs as Mikey cries about it burning his flesh.
We get a big rant from Paul Heyman about how TNN is killing them because they don’t want ECW around. Then they’re going to bring in the WWF and give Vince McMahon $100 million. Heyman says this is a shoot as he goes on about how much he hates this network for everything they’ve done wrong. He begs TNN to throw them off the air and tells them to spend that money on attorneys because the war has just begun. Last week Gertner said a lot of the same things on commentary.This was muted on the live broadcast but the Network has the full thing.
Dawn Marie video.
Joel suggests that the TNN executives smuggle young farm animals across state lines for sexual gratification. Heyman, off screen: “ARE YOU READY TO THROW US OFF THE AIR PIG F*$&%*#?” Again, this was muted live as you might expect.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Sandman
Rhino is defending and has Steve Corino in his corner. During Sandman’s three minute entrance, Gertner suggests that Sandman wants to beat Rhino for making Sandman’s wife all whiny because she’s been in the hospital so much lately. Cue Dusty Rhodes to cancel Corino out by bullroping himself to Steve. Rhino pounds Sandman down fast but gets knocked to the floor to start the brawl.
Sandman throws in a table and loads it up in the corner before taking Rhino down with a hurricanrana. A piledriver onto the folded table gets no cover as Sandman has to take care of Corino (freed with some help from Jack Victory). Everyone comes in and I’m going to assume the match was thrown out somewhere in there. Not enough to rate but what were you expecting?
Tajiri runs out for the save and gets beaten down by an invading Scotty Anton. Van Dam comes in for the real save as Jerry Lynn watches to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. Interesting story/brawl, midcard match, midcard match, pants on fire, big wild brawl to end the show. Like I said earlier, it’s taking WAY too long to get anywhere with their big stories and it’s getting annoying trying. The real war with Heyman vs. the network is more interesting but at the same time it’s really hard to care when the wrestling is so all over the place and the stories move so slowly. It’s still entertaining enough but they need to do something before they’re thrown off the air.
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ECW on TNN Date: May 19, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
Hardcore Heaven has come and gone and almost nothing has changed. Jerry Lynn has finally pinned Rob Van Dam despite Van Dam’s friend Scotty Anton (Scotty Riggs) turning him on him to cause the loss. Other than that, Credible is still World Champion after beating Lance Storm in a pretty boring match. Let’s get to it.
Sinister Minister and Mikey Whipwreck open things up by talking about what happened at the PPV. For some reason it’s hilarious that Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff haven’t been fired yet. Somehow this is linked to Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones.
Kid Kash vs. Johnny Swinger
Joined in progress. Kash flies around for a few seconds and hits the Moneymaker for the pin in maybe 25 seconds.
Big Sal and Little Guido run in to attack Kash but Mikey Whipwreck runs in with a fireball to Sal. Time for another match.
Mikey Whipwreck vs. Little Guido
We start fast again with Mikey nailing a quick DDT for two but gets caught in something like an Alabama Slam for two more. A slingshot legdrop gets the same for Guido but Mikey pops right back up with the Whippersnapper for the pin. Too short to rate but it was energetic enough to work.
Joel and Joey do their intro to the show at the announcers’ area. The limerick is about drinking pearly foam and we see clips from the PPV.
RVD is annoyed that he lost to Lynn on Sunday and really hopes Lynn and Anton aren’t in cahoots.
Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Da Baldies
Roadkill and Doring attack Da Baldies in the aisle so Chetti dives out to take everyone down. Nova throws DeVito in and nails a splash for two as the attention goes to Steve Corino, talking about his war with Tajiri on Sunday. We even get a clip from the match to make sure that we know this match means nothing. Chetti nails DeVito with a kick to the face but Grimes comes in to blast Nova. He goes up for an elbow, giving Angel a quick pin. That’s fine with Nova and Chetti who pop up and hit the Tidal Wave to put Grimes through a table. Doring comes back with a double arm DDT on DeVito for the final pin.
Rating: D+. This match was a backdrop for the Corino promo about Tajiri. If you want to have a tag match then have a tag match but if you want to talk about Tajiri vs. Corino then talk about Tajiri vs. Corino. Why can’t ECW just calm down and pick something instead of bouncing all over the place?
Da Baldies go after Roadkill and Doring post match until New Jack makes the save with the usual.
Lynn says he’s better than RVD because this match was faster than Van Dam’s win last year.
ECW World Title: Raven vs. Justin Credible
Justin is defending and we get some Big Match Intros for a change. Before the match, Justin talks about beating Raven all over the country and stealing his woman. We cut to the announcers again where Corino is on the same rant from earlier. Joel: “Look. Tajiri!” Corino runs away. The entire shot lasted about six seconds. Anyway Justin misses a cane shot to start and Raven hammers away before sending the champion out to the floor.
We take a break with the fight in the crowd and Justin going through a table. They head back to ringside for some mic shots from Raven before going back inside for even more. A table is set up in the corner but Justin hits him low for a breather. Raven goes through the table and we stop for Francine to look at Justin’s neck. Justin drives a knee into the ribs to stop a comeback attempt and we hit the sleeper. Raven sends him out to the floor and through a table (because ECW!) but Justin grabs a chair.
Back in and Credible uses the drop toehold onto a chair before having a seat and swearing a lot. Some knee lifts have the champion in trouble but Francine nails Raven with the kendo stick. A superkick and That’s Incredible get two each for Justin but he knocks Francine off the apron. The Evenflow is countered and we get a ref bump. Now the DDT connects for no count so Raven tries a sunset flip, allowing Justin to drop down for the pin while holding the ropes.
Rating: D+. This actually wasn’t terrible once they calmed down and stopped overthinking everything. The ref bump was a bit worthless but it’s nice to see them do something besides endless interfering. Also you would think these guys would have gotten some promo time to set this up instead of just having a one off match. Finally, at least the match had more than three minutes to get going.
House show ads.
Rhino and Cyrus are in the back with Cyrus saying he’s behind the negotiations with the WWF. We close it out with Rhino issuing a challenge to anyone who wants the TV Title.
Overall Rating: D. This was a mostly weak show due to the usual breakneck ECW pace but at least the main event was good. It helps that they gave a match some time instead of just having three or four minute matches over and over again. The Corino promos got annoying in a hurry though as it felt like those moments, which didn’t lead to anything but a quick comedy bit, overshadowed the matches.
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Hardcore Heaven 2000 (2014 Redo): Steve Corino Is A Warrior
Hardcore Heaven 2000
Date: May 14, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 3,400
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus
In case that isn’t enough for you, Rob Van Dam is back from his broken ankle. Now you might think that this is the perfect time for Van Dam to take his rightful place at the top of the company now that he’s no longer TV Champion and now can focus on the World Title. Instead, he has a match against Jerry Lynn to continue their series. Let’s get to it.
We actually open with the theme song for the first time in this series.
Joel and Joey are in the ring with Joey mentioning various Milwaukee sports teams. The crowd isn’t impressed so he goes with bratwurst and beer to get the people on his side. Joel does his rhyme and actually isn’t cut off by Cyrus. Joey says he doesn’t care what the censors think because tonight they’re in hardcore heaven. With no interruption and the theme song already done, they just walk up the ramp (making its return on the side of the ring) to the broadcast booth while everyone stands around with nothing to do.
Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka
These two respect each other so there’s no hatred to the match. Mahoney just stands in the ring for his whole song (Big Balls by AC/DC) in a far too long entrance. Tanaka comes out as well but Cyrus appears at the broadcast booth and tries to throw Gertner out. Joel won’t go, so Cyrus has Kintaro Kanemura choke him out before taking over Joel’s spot.
As for the match, they actually have a technical sequence to start until Mahoney starts swinging to take over. Tanaka cross bodies him down for two and puts on an armbar. Balls sends him to the floor and hits a nice dive before nailing Masato with a beer. Both guys are whipped into the barricade and Tanaka drags him onto the ramp. The running chair to the head staggers Mahoney and a tornado DDT puts him down.
They head back inside and have a chair duel before three straight HARD chair shots to the head put Tanaka down. Back up and a superkick into the chair into Masato’s face puts him down but the fans want tables. Instead they get more chairs and Tanaka hits the tornado DDT onto said chairs for two.
The Roaring Elbow misses and Nutcracker Suite gets two. Diamond Dust gets the same and Tanaka is stunned that someone kicked out of his big move. Tanaka tries to jump over him but gets caught in another Nutcracker Suite onto the chairs for an even closer two. Balls’ middle rope leg only hits chair but he kicks out of the Roaring Elbow. A top rope chair to the head doesn’t put Balls down but the Roaring Elbow is enough for the pin.
Rating: D+. The match was a mess but it was exactly what you have to expect from these two. The lack of tables made this a lot better, though it wasn’t all that good either way. I like the trading finishers but when that’s almost the entire match, it really doesn’t hold up as well as it does with a good build.
Lance Storm says Justin is all alone tonight and the run ends.
Little Guido vs. Simon Diamond vs. Mikey Whipwreck
Mikey (now insane with red hair and an obsession with fire) has his new manager the Sinisiter Minister, Guido has Big Sal, but Simon has Mitch, The Prodigy (never went anywhere), the Prodigette (had some success on the independent circuit) and the Muskateer, who is exactly what he sounds like, complete with sword. Mikey recently burned Big Sal so half of his face is bandaged up. Everyone tries their finishers to start but no one makes any significant contact until Mikey superkicks Simon down for two.
Mikey charges into Guido’s elbow in the corner and Guido headscissors Simon out of the corner. A powerbomb out of the corner gets two on Simon but Mikey’s missile dropkick gets two on Guido. Simon hits rolling suplexes into a gordbuster on Mikey for two as Guido makes a save. Simon and Mikey head to the floor and most of the lights go out. Mikey hits Guido with a camera and the entourages go after Sal.
Simon’s dive is caught in mid air by the big man but Mikey dives on all of them to put everybody down. Sal crushes the entourage as Guido hits a flying armbar for two on Mikey back inside. The lights are still mostly out. Guido fights out of the Whippersnapper but Simon can’t escape and gets pinned.
Down to Mikey vs. Guido with Mikey lifting Guido in a Pedigree but putting Guido onto his shoulders and spinning him around before putting him down in the sitout Pedigree. The fans are very impressed but it only gets two. Big Sal comes in and Guido climbs onto his shoulders, only to miss a huge elbow drop. Mikey throws a fireball at Sal to burn him again, only to walk into a Tomikaze for the pin.
Rating: C. Good enough match here, but WAY too many people wandering around at ringside. That spinning Pedigree from Mikey was something else and I understand why he busted it out even though he was losing, but it still feels wasted. The lights going out make ECW look amateurish and that’s not good when you’re already the third rate promotion.
Justin Credible, now with Francine, says he’s been taking people’s blood for seven years now. He’s traded a Tag Team Title for this belt and that’s all that matters. Storm will see a real champion tonight.
The lights are back on as the Dangerous Alliance comes to the ring. Billy Wiles now has Elvis sideburns. Cyrus is annoyed that Elektra is in a jacket. Lou E. Dangerously tells us how great he is but he has to threaten the fans with Anderson violence if they don’t shut up. This is basically the same thing that he did last time. Lou claims that Elektra is all natural, which is pretty laughable. Before the match, Jazz comes out and beats up the Alliance, including stripping Elektra down to a Mike Awesome t-shirt and what are basically strings underneath it. Anderson plants Jazz with a spinebuster but Kid Kash runs out for his match.
C.W. Anderson vs. Kid Kash
Kash quickly sends Anderson to the floor and hits a big dive to take him down before the bell. Anderson nails a big left hand right after we get going but walks into a dropkick to put him on the floor. Kash dives off the apron to take Wiles down with a hurricanrana. Back in and Kash tries a hurricarana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb. It’s been awhile since we’ve seen one of those. C.W. hammers away in the corner and knocks Kash to the floor, only to have Wiles drop Kid across the barricade.
Back in and Kash climbs the corner for a cross body and two, only to walk into a big clothesline. A reverse suplex gets two for Anderson and a powerslam gets the same. Kash avoids a charge in the corner but has to deal with Wiles. Lou E. misses a phone shot and hits Billy, only to have C.W. nail Kash with a superkick for another two. Anderson goes up but gets caught in a bad looking hurricanrana for the pin.
Rating: C-. This was a decent enough power vs. speed match but the interference got annoying fast. Wiles and Dangerously become more and more useless every time they appear but Anderson seems to have something special to him. He could use someone to talk for him but Lou isn’t quite up to that level either.
Bill Alfonso is worried about Van Dam coming back from his injury so soon. Van Dam is calm, especially with Scotty Anton being in his corner.
Da Baldies vs. Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill
It’s nice to see the two young tag teams getting to be in the same match for a change. It’s Angel/DeVito here. The brawl starts on the ramp with Doring and Roadkill getting the better of Da Baldies. Nova and Chetti hammer away on DeVito in the ring but Angel switches places with him and takes a beating as well. Now we get the big showdown with Da Baldies down on the floor.
Doring’s jawbreaker puts Nova down but Chetti kicks Roadkill in the face. Chetti and Doring, the first two graduates of the House of Hardcore, slug it out but Da Baldies clean house. Roadkill takes both of them out with his springboard clothesline and Nova hits a Swanton Bomb on DeVito but Nova takes a Hart Attack from Doring and Roadkill. Da Baldies hit a double spinebuster to put Roadkill through two chairs but Nova hits a jawbreaker/DDT combo to put them both down.
Doring hits a top rope elbow on Angel but Grimes runs in for the save. Doring beats him up too but Angel BLASTS Doring with a guitar for the elimination. We’re down to Nova/Chetti vs. Da Baldies but Roadkill puts Grimes on a table and hits a HUGE splash to put both guys out. Back in the ring and Da Baldies are in full control and Nova is put in the Tree of Woe. Angel charges at Nova but he does a situp into a Diamond Cutter to drop Nova. The Amityville Horror and Tidal Wave are enough to pin DeVito.
Rating: C. This was a huge spotfest but also proof that these kind of matches can work without weapons. Other than the guitar shot, this was almost all about the wrestlers doing their stuff and that’s what a match is supposed to be. It’s also nice to see good teams getting pushed, but ECW won’t being Tag Team Titles for awhile for whatever reason they had at this point. You would think this would be a good place to have the titles on the line, but for some reason it didn’t happen.
Post match Da Baldies keep fighting until New Jack comes out with his weapons, including a staple gun and a fork. Time for another impromptu match.
New Jack vs. Angel
DeVito is still out there and already busted open. New Jack sends him into the crowd and I can barely see a thing. They finally get to a clearing and New Jack sets up a table. Jack stands around a lot before finally laying DeVito out and climbing the balcony. The big dive connects more safely this time and Jack staggers back to the ring, where Nova and Chetti are beating up Angel. A big guitar shot knocks Angel out but New Jack grabs a chair and blasts him in the head with a top rope chair shot to finally pin Angel.
Rating: F. Is this supposed to mean that New Jack has finally beaten Angel? That’s very impressive as it only took two people beating on Angel for five minutes after Angel already had a match while New Jack was doing something else. This was much more of an angle than a match as they barely had any contact until the ending. Hopefully this ends these two interacting.
Joey explains the opening being so awkward. Apparently Tommy Dreamer staggered into the arena covered in blood thanks to a beating from Justin Credible and Joey didn’t know what to do. Cyrus and Joey bicker and Cyrus mentions that TNN will soon have WWF programming. More on this later.
Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri
Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.
Tajiri misses a big kick to the head and Corino nails him with an enziguri. A hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Steve two but Tajiri comes back with the Tarantula. They head to the ramp where Tajiri nails him with a kick to the ribs and a brainbuster to send Corino to the floor. Corino is already busted so Tajiri bites at the cut as is the custom in ECW. Back in and Steve is put in the Tree of Woe for the sliding kick to the face. There is a pool of blood under Corino’s head.
Tajiri loads up another baseball slide with a chair over Steve’s face but Jack Victory makes the save. Corino comes back with a superkick for one but his long blond hair is now almost entirely red. Steve can’t follow up so Tajiri sets up a table but kicks the edge of it, driving the other end into Steve’s ribs. You can’t see the blond in Corino’s hair anymore. Tajiri clotheslines Corino and Victory down but Corino pops back up with a backdrop through the table for two.
Corino gets two off a fisherman’s suplex and a northern lights gets the same. Steve sets up a table in the corner but gets kicked down to the mat. Tajiri puts on the Octopus Hold and Victory gets the green mist. The distraction lets Steve escape and grab a powerslam for a near fall. Tajiri goes INSANE with some of the fastest kicks and punches I’ve ever seen, followed by a big kick to the head. Corino is laid out on the table and a big double stomp from the top drives him through for the pin.
Rating: B. This was a really solid match with both guys looking great and Corino looking like a warrior out there. It’s a good example of two talented guys being able to have their skills shine through instead of getting bogged down by all the weapons and nonsense. Corino would gain a lot of respect very soon, partially because of this performance.
W*ING Kanemura comes out to attack Tajiri but Dusty Rhodes makes the save with elbows to the head. Rhino comes out to beat up the American Dream but we’ve got Sandman, segueing into the next match.
TV Title: Sandman vs. Rhino
Sandman’s entrance takes WAY too much time, but at least some of the blood gets cleaned up. Sandman seems especially calm for someone whose wife was nearly broken in half. Rhino throws him around with ease but Sandman comes back with left hands to send it to the floor. We get the first table thrown into the ring but Rhino wants the timekeeper’s table. Sandman nails him with some more left hands and puts the table on the ramp.
Rhino is sent into the barricade before they both get up on the ramp. The table is set up against the ropes on the ramp but Rhino’s Gore misses Sandman and only hits the wood. They head inside with Sandman hitting two straight piledrivers. Jack Victory tries to interfere but Lori nails him in the back with a Singapore cane.
Sandman goes after them but Rhino nails him from behind. Lori is dragged to the ring and piledriven off the apron through a table at ringside. Corino and Victory set up the table in the corner and drag Lori in front of it. Rhino loads up a Gore but Sandman canes him in the head. He goes to Lori but takes the Gore through the table to retain Rhino’s title.
Rating: D-. This was horrible with Sandman dragging down the young and talented Rhino. I don’t see the need to have Lori get beaten up again but at least the fans didn’t cheer when it happened. They’re setting up Rhino vs. Van Dam for a war but Sandman is really making these things hard to sit through.
Rhino yells at Lori, telling her Happy Mother’s Day.
The announcers talk all serious while talking about the company website and showing the Pervert Productions section. I think you can fill in the gaps.
Rob Van Dam vs. Jerry Lynn
Lynn has been more aggressive lately and is angry over not being as respected as Van Dam. Rob has Bill Alfonso and Scotty Anton with him. Van Dam is just insanely over. Scotty and Rob hug before the match because they’re best friends and would NEVER turn on each other. Feeling out process to start with the fans entirely behind Van Dam. Both guys speed things up but neither can hit anything with Van Dam’s flip legdrop missing, giving us a standoff.
Rob’s spin kick misses but the second connects, setting up a cartwheel into a moonsault for two. They head outside with Lynn getting crotched on the barricade and kicked in the face to knock him into the crowd. The spinning kick to the back drives a chair into Lynn’s spine but Van Dam is slow getting up. Van Dam misses a moonsault press off the barricade and Lynn takes over back inside.
Lynn jumps to the middle rope but his tornado DDT is countered and both guys nail kicks at the same time. Alfonso puts in a chair but Lynn counters two straight Van Daminators. Instead Rob drops the chair and tries a legsweep but Jerry hits a Fameasser onto the chair for two. A stepover kick to the face and Rolling Thunder get two for Rob and he skateboards the chair into Jerry’s face in the corner for two more.
The monkey flip onto the chair is countered and Lynn hits a powerbomb out of the corner onto the chair for his first near fall in awhile. A gorgeous superplex drops Rob for yet another two. Lynn sends him into the buckle and sets up a table on the floor. Rob counters a tornado DDT through the table and heads back inside, only to get crotched on the top rope.
A bulldog from Jerry drives Van Dam through the table and both guys are down. Jerry gets back up and tries a running dive off the apron but he misses Rob and hits Anton. Back in and Lynn’s back is bleeding from the bulldog. Rob crotches him on the top rope and hits a Van Daminator with Alfonso’s help. Even Joey is getting tired of Alfonso’s interference. The chair is laid over Lynn and the Five Star connects as Cyrus leaves commentary.
Corino and Victory come in but Lynn fights them off, squashing rumors that he’s in the Network. Rhino comes in and Gores Lynn before powerbombing Rob. Van Dam fights back but Cyrus comes in and takes a Van Daminator. Jerry dropkicks a chair into Alfonso’s face but gets kicked down again. Rob goes up for the Five Star but Anton turns on him, surprising no one at all. Lynn didn’t see what Scotty did, which will be brought up on commentary later. Rob’s head slams into the ramp but the cradle piledriver only gets two. A second one onto a chair is good enough for Lynn to FINALLY pin Van Dam.
Rating: B. The Network is swallowing the entire promotion at this point. This match could have been done exactly the same way with just Alfonso and Anton but it’s ECW so you have to overbook it. It was the usual entertaining match between these two, but the win doesn’t do anything for Jerry at this point as he should have gotten the TV Title a year ago. It’s still the biggest win of his career but it doesn’t mean nearly as much as it could have.That was Van Dam’s first pinfall loss in two and a half years.
ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer
Francine and Dawn Marie are at ringside as well. Before the match Justin says this is going to be one on one with him vs. Lance. If anyone comes out to face him besides Storm and Storm alone, he’ll throw the belt in the garbage. This brings out Dreamer but Heyman cuts him off, saying Justin has them by the balls right now and promising Dreamer another shot at Heat Wave. Dreamer shakes Storm’s hand, flips Heyman off, and leaves. Yet another bait and switch.
ECW World Title: Lance Storm vs. Justin Credible
Storm goes right after the champion to start and Justin bails to the floor to stall. Back in and Lance nails some right hands before dropkicking Credible back to the floor. Lance’s dive hits Singapore cane though and he’s already busted open. Both guys are sent into the barricade and Justin sets up a table on the ramp. Back in and they trade chops with Lance getting the better of it, only to charge into a boot in the corner.
The fans LOUDLY chant that they want Dreamer as Justin puts on a chinlock. Back up and a clothesline drops Lance and they trade loud chops. The fans realize Dreamer isn’t coming and quiet down a lot. A thumb to the eye puts Storm back down and we hit the chinlock again. Storm fights up again and grabs a hurricanrana to get a breather before hammering away in the corner.
In a really impressive athletic display, Storm jumps from the mat to the top rope for a back elbow to the jaw. Storm gets another two off a dropkick and they fight over a tombstone until Storm suplexes him down for another two. Credible nails a superkick for two of his own but Storm rolls through a cross body to get a breather. Justin’s abdominal stretch is countered into a hiptoss over the top rope and through the table for two back inside.
Back up and Storm hooks the half crab in the middle of the ring but Francine nails him with her high heeled shoe. Dawn comes in for a catfight, earning her That’s Incredible from the champion. Storm nails Justin with the Singapore cane and gets two off a piledriver. That’s Incredible is only good for two and a DDT gets the same. Storm comes back with a catapult into the post and a dropkick to the side of the head but gets crotched on the top rope. Another That’s Incredible retains Justin’s title.
Rating: D+. The match was watchable but Justin is a huge letdown after guys like Taz, Awesome, Tanaka and even Dreamer. The guy just isn’t a main event level guy no matter how much ECW tries to shine him up. He’s nothing more than a loudmouth in jean shorts that can’t back it up in the ring at all. This would be Storm’s last match as he went to WCW over Heyman not being able to pay him.
Dreamer comes out and destroys both Credible and Francine to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show was watchable for the most part but the bad parts bring down the good stuff that the show had going for it. The problem here is where we should go now. It seems like we’re heading for Rob Van Dam vs. Scotty Anton, which is a meaningless match for Rob because no one cares about Anton and another waste of how over he is. Lynn getting the win is nice for him but where can he go? Against Rhino maybe? The real star of the night was Steve Corino who looked like a warrior going through that bloodbath, but he’s still stuck in the Network angle that is taking over everything.
ECW on TNN – May 12, 2000: It’s A Hard Road To Heaven
ECW on TNN Date: May 12, 2000
Location: University Sports Pavillion, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
It’s the go home show for Hardcore Heaven and there really isn’t all that much set up for the card. We’re getting RVD vs. Lynn and Credible vs. Storm for the title (in theory) but I’m not sure what else we should expect. Knowing ECW I’m sure there will be some impromptu matches because Heyman expects his guys to be insane and get into arguments without a card being necessary. Let’s get to it.
We open with the Sinister Minster and Mikey Whipwreck in the back talking about their usual evil when the cameraman hears something. It turns out that Mikey has lit him on fire because Whipwreck is a weird dude.
Joel does his limerick about debuting in Minneapolis until Dreamer comes out. He can’t say anything though because Simon Diamond comes out to complain about not being taken seriously. Clearly Dreamer has lost his touch and isn’t as hungry as he used to be. You know those are fighting words.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Simon Diamond
They’re almost immediately on the floor and brawling in the crowd as is Dreamer’s custom. Tommy hammers away in the crowd and knocks Simon around like the comedy guy that he is. The Prodigy finally validates his employment by clotheslining Dreamer, only to have Tommy come right back with a suplex. He ties Simon in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch in the corner before hitting the running dropkick into a chair onto Diamond’s face. More goons try to interfere so Simon can DDT him down, only to have the referee take a chair away from Diamond. Back up and Dreamer’s DDT is enough for the pin.
Rating: D. So wait, ECW can have traditional rules thrown out the window but when Dreamer is in trouble the referee actually does his job? The match was just there to give Dreamer a win when he’s going into a big match on Sunday. Other than that there’s just nothing here and it’s your traditional ECW TV match.
Jerry Lynn vs. Lance Storm
There must be a winner. Jerry dropkicks him off the apron to start and nails a nice flip dive off the apron for good measure. They head inside for the first time with Lance coming back with a quick superkick and two before throwing on what would become the Canadian Maple Leaf. That goes nowhere as Jerry kicks away and tries a rollup for two, firing off a nice pinfall reversal sequence for some two counts.
Time for a chair because Heaven forbid we get to have something like the good wrestlers wrestling. Lynn kicks it into Storm’s face and nails a tornado DDT onto the chair for two as Dawn Marie offers a distraction. Justin Credible comes in with a crutch and nails Lynn by mistake, giving Storm the fluke pin.
Rating: D+. This was going to be better just based on who was in the match. That being said, there’s only so much you can do with a little under seven minutes and interference included. It wasn’t terrible and at least it helps to set up something for Sunday. You know, for the pay per view that is barely mentioned.
Dreamer comes out to fight go after Justin, only to have Storm dive on both and start a three way brawl.
Back from a break with Lynn down in the ring and Cyrus coming out for a chat. We get straight to the cheap heat with Cyrus making fun of Minnesota, which gets on Jerry’s nerves. Cyrus offers him a spot in the Network but Tajiri comes out to break it up. Lynn nails Tajiri with a clothesline but says he did it for himself and not the Network.
Jerry leaves and here are Corino and Victory to go after Tajiri. He comes back with kicks but here’s Rhino to start a match.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Tajiri
Tajiri hammers away to start and nails the handspring elbow. They head outside for a moonsault off the apron before throwing a table inside. Tajiri blows the mist in Rhino’s eyes but has to kick Corino down. Steve is laid on the table for a top rope double stomp, only to get Gored in half by the champ. Instead of covering though he loads up the piledriver from the apron through a table on the floor to retain the title.
Rating: D+. Not bad here but they needed more time. Tajiri is a guy that can fire off kicks like there’s no tomorrow but he needs something more to fight off a monster like Rhino. This Network stuff is getting old though as Rhino is the kind of monster that doesn’t need help to get anywhere yet for some reason that’s all we see.
Sandman comes out for the save and gets nailed as well, drawing out Van Dam for the real save. A kick to the face drops Rhino and the Five Star ends the show.
Overall Rating: D. Please let this show die already. The stuff we’re sitting through here is already old as it’s just running in circles. With the World Title out of the Network story, it makes the belt seem even more worthless. This goes back to the old idea of the TV Title meaning more than the World Title which is one of those things that ECW always did and never quite held up. Just make Rob the top guy already and be done with it.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
ECW on TNN – May 5, 2000: Villians Aren’t That Smart
ECW on TNN Date: May 5, 2000
Location: Mid-Hudson Civic Center, Poughkeepsie, New York
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re getting closer to Hardcore Heaven 2000 at this point with some major matches announced but no World Title. In theory it would be Dreamer getting his rematch for the title, but given how fast everything changes around here it’s hard to say. Hopefully things are a bit better structured this week after last week’s mess. Let’s get to it.
We open with a quick recap of last week’s show with all the title title changes.
Off to Joey and Joel in the ring for the long limerick (about getting someone tipsy in Poughkeepsie) and a line from Joey about TNN producing their shows using rabbit ears. This brings out Justin Credible and Francine with the chick saying she just goes wherever the gold is and lists off all the wrestlers she’s led to titles over the years. I never realized how many she had actually done. By done I of course mean led to gold.
This sounds like Sunny with the Tag Team Titles back in 1996. I’ve heard worse (though Francine is no Sunny), but why do I have a feeling we’re not going to get an explanation for why she turned on Dreamer in the first place? Granted it’s a common problem but on a one hour show, you really shouldn’t have this many open questions.
Justin is about to say something when Lance Storm and Dawn Marie come out. Lance gets right in Credible’s face and actually shows some of the best emotion he’s ever had. Storm rips into Justin about disrespecting the titles and costing Lance a belt that he earned. Therefore, Credible owes Storm a title and that World Heavyweight Title looks pretty good. Credible can either hand it over to Storm or have it beaten out of him.
Storm slaps him in the face and the brawl is on, but of course we have to focus on the same Dawn Marie vs. Francine fight that we’ve seen roughly eight million times now. Raven runs out to go after Justin but Storm takes him down for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. Jazz comes out to go after Dawn and gets a superkick of her own. The opening match is next.
Kid Kash vs. Lance Storm
This is joined in progress but we have to look at Tommy Dreamer and Credible fighting in the crowd. Where did Dreamer come from? Uh….EXTREME! Kash starts off with a big flip dive to the floor because that’s his signature thing. They head inside for Storm to block a charge with an elbow to the jaw followed by a nice powerslam. Kash pops back up and tries a hurricanrana, only to be countered into a sitout powerbomb. Kash is on his feet WAY too fast and nails a hurricanrana for two but Dawn Marie breaks up the Money Maker. Jazz came out to go after Dawn, allowing Storm to nail a superkick and piledriver for the pin.
Rating: C-. This was barely long enough to rate due to constantly cutting away to other things. This is one of Heyman’s problems: he couldn’t sit still long enough to let things go the way they should. It’s like watching a really hyperactive squirrel running around a park and trying to make sense of it. There’s only so much the wrestlers can do when we can barely see them.
The New Dangerous Alliance goes to see the Sinister Minister. Elektra sits on the Minister’s lap and he pulls out some beads. Their next comments are censored and Elektra takes her top off and dances. Minister laughs. As usual, I have no idea what the point of this was.
Jerry Lynn vs. Scotty Anton
Joined in progress as well with Lynn nailing a plancha over the top to take Anton down. Anton sends him into the barricade and sets up a table in the ring because this is ECW. Lynn comes back with a tornado DDT but here’s Rhino to try and Gore Jerry. He leapfrogs out of the way though and Anton takes the Gore through the table, setting up the cradle piledriver to give Jerry the pin.
Cyrus comes out to shake Lynn’s hand and says he’s a friend of the Network. Lynn looks at him but dives over the top to take Lynn out instead. Rhino beats up Anton but RVD comes out for the save, only to get beaten up by Corino and Victory. Tajiri comes out for another save but RVD is taken out by security. The Network tells Tajiri to apologize because he’s on his own. Tajiri pulls out a beer and you can see the tag match coming from here.
Sandman/Tajiri vs. Rhino/Steve Corino
Wait not yet, as we have to watch Sandman drink and listen to Metallica for five minutes. I’ve always loved that about Sandman’s entrances. He can sit there and drink forever while the guy he’s supposed to be helping could be getting his brains beaten in. Why did more bad guys not take some sort of advantage of this? They have Tajiri 3-1 and they all just stand around and watch him do walk around and drink a lot. I know wrestling villains aren’t supposed to be smart but come on now.
It’s not just ECW either. This happens in WWE all the time as well with stuff like the opening sequences where the people that hate each other just stand in different parts of the arena with three ropes and air between them but they never actually do anything physical. I know security is supposed to intervene but come on already.
Oh yeah we have a match to talk about. Tajiri vs. Rhino to start with the power guy hammering away and actually working on the arm early on. Tajiri comes back with the handspring elbow and tags in Sandman as Rhino tags out as well. Corino gets nailed in the face over and over before they head outside for some whips into the barricade.
The Russian legsweep into the barricade has Steve in even more trouble. They head back inside for the Heinekenrana and White Russian legsweep for two. Cue Sandman’s wife for the first time in weeks to nail Rhino with a kendo stick. That goes about as far as you would expect and Tajiri mists Corino. Rhino Gores a table in the corner, allowing Tajiri to double stomp Corino through a table for the pin.
Rating: D+. Why can’t we just let Corino fight Tajiri for fifteen minutes instead? They’re talented guys and Rhino would be good when he figured out his style. Sandman isn’t a wrestler and I’m not sure why he’s consistently on wrestling shows. Lori Fullington really didn’t need to be here and I don’t remember seeing her outside of pay per views. Not much to see here but it could have been worse.
Gertner rants about TNN to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. We’re getting really close to Hardcore Heaven at this point and as usual, I have almost no idea what to expect for the show save for one or two matches. This show focused on two ideas (except for that weird Elektra and Minister thing) and that’s a bit more ok in an hour long show. The show still isn’t good, but you can never say it’s boring. Sometimes that’s better, but I don’t think it is here.
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ECW on TNN – April 28, 2000: The Titles They Are A Changing
ECW on TNN Date: April 28, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
Good night I have to stop taking so much time off between these shows. When we last left these guys a ridiculous nine months ago, the Network is starting to take over the world but Tajiri has won the TV Title and been ordered to hand over the title tonight. We’ll also get the fallout from the World Title situation. Let’s get to it.
As you may remember, Taz has returned and won the World Title when Mike Awesome bailed on the company. Taz would defend the title at Cyberslam 1999 against Tommy Dreamer which will be shown later tonight.
Joel and Joey welcome us to the show and rip on TNN a bit because they haven’t been treating ECW all that well lately. Since this is Cyberslam, Joel’s limerick is full of computer sex puns.
Opening sequence.
Here’s the Network to make Tajiri hand the title over to Rhino. Cyrus tells Tajiri that the time has come for him to hold up his end of the deal and give the title to his rightful owner. Tajiri doesn’t want to do it so Cyrus gets racial on him before implying that he gave Tajiri some, shall we say, sexual favors after winning the title. Tajiri says screw you and we’ve got a title match.
TV Title: Rhino vs. Tajiri
The champ kicks away to start and ties Rhino in the Tree of Woe before standing on his crotch. A baseball slide kick to the face stuns Rhino but he grabs a spinebuster. Tajiri backdrops him out to the floor and uses the handspring to kick a chain into Rhino’s face. We take a break and come back with the handspring elbow dropping Rhino again. Tajiri throws in a table but has to escape a powerbomb. There’s the Octopus Hold but Tajiri has to Mist Corino. The Gore and a piledriver get two on Tajiri but a second piledriver gives Rhino the title.
Rating: C-. Well so much for Tajiri turning face because we need to give Rhino the super push. This was another nothing match because it didn’t have the time to get anywhere, but at least we can have a two minute opening video and a long limerick from Gertner. To be fair though it’s not like it matters for ECW at this point.
Cyrus calls out anyone that wants to face Rhino right now so here’s Van Dam for the showdown. Scotty Anton comes out with him to help fight the minions and Rob kicks Rhino down to the floor. Rob dives onto the Network after they stand there for ten seconds waiting on him. Cyrus offers Rhino a spot on the team and makes Rhino vs. Sandman for the TV Title at Hardcore Heaven. Rob won’t be left out though as he gets another match with Jerry Lynn, because we haven’t seen that enough.
Jerry comes out for a showdown of his own but says he isn’t Network. He talks about his ankle injury and wants to know why all the talk has been about Rob. Could it be because Jerry didn’t win any of the matches? Rob offers a handshake but gets flipped off. Anton gets forearmed in the face because no one cares about him.
Sinister Minister talks about WCW calling him and Whipwreck, but even his soul wouldn’t sink that low. He gets in a casket because he wouldn’t be caught dead in that promotion.
During the break, Rhino Gored Sandman’s wife through a table.
Sinister Minister is using an Ouija Board and says ECW is hot. The table lights on fire and Whipwreck dives through it. Maniacal laughter ensues.
We get a recap of Cyberslam, including Corino busting Dusty Rhodes open and dropping a Bionic Elbow wrapped in a bullrope for the pin.
We also see a longer version of Sandman’s wife going through the table.
Next up is Nova falling on Lance Storm and injuring the Canadian in the process. Partner Justin Credible, who kicked Nova and caused him to fall on Storm, doesn’t seem to care.
House show ads.
Hardcore Heaven ad.
Call the hotline!
Joel and Joey tell us about Dreamer beating Taz for the title and we see the post match segment with Taz making his final exit from ECW and Dreamer getting to make a very emotional speech about how all the effort and work over the years was worth it. Even Raven comes out to shake Dreamer’s hand to officially end the feud. Justin Credible runs in and attacks both guys before demanding a title shot RIGHT NOW. He even throws down the Tag Team Titles to get the shot. Dreamer says ring the bell.
ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer
Tommy starts fast with a Cactus Clothesline to put both guys down on the floor. They quickly head into the crowd for more brawling (meaning walking around) before coming back to ringside for a bell to Justin’s crotch. Back in and Dreamer gets reversed DDTed onto a chair, allowing Justin to stomp away in the corner. Dreamer’s bloody eye goes into the chair for two and the running not-DDT gets the same. The champion comes back with a Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter, though it was a Stunner here because Credible is horrible) but heads outside to set up a table.
What was supposed to be a Death Valley Driver through the table winds up being more of a TKO. Back in and a Jason distraction lets Justin hit That’s Incredible for two. Jason shouts PLAN B so Justin goes after Francine but Tommy breaks it up with a DDT for two. He loads up another Death Valley Driver but Francine turns on Dreamer (for the second time this year I believe), setting up another That’s Incredible to give Justin the belt.
Rating: D. The fact that Justin screwed up the two big moves he was supposed to take during this match should tell you everything you need to know about him. I really don’t see the appeal in the guy as his entire style comes down to flipping off the audience, kicks and a tombstone. Dreamer could have been a long term champion but this is ECW where it’s all about shock instead of substance.
Overall Rating: D. I was actually shocked that we didn’t see the Dreamer vs. Taz match. As in the five and a half minute Dreamer vs. Taz match. Yeah we didn’t have time for that, but we could fit in two Sinister Minister videos, recaps of stuff that doesn’t matter, and a long intro that was basically there for the live audience. This show and promotion seems to have given up, though I can’t say I blame them. At least we actually got some stuff set up for the PPV though.
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ECW on TNN – April 21, 2000: The Rain Man of Wrestling
ECW on TNN Date: April 21, 2000
Location: Family Arena, St. Charles, Missouri
Attendance: 2,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner
We’re at an interesting point for the company as a lot of things have been changing. RVD is the new hero to stand up against the Network but the more interesting story is the world title picture. Around this time, world champion Taz is under contract to the WWF and appearing on Monday Night Raw and Smackdown with the ECW World Title. That’s not something you see every day, making it all the more interesting. Let’s get to it.
We open with Sinister Minister talking about the last circle of torment being saved for betrayers. That’s where you have to go to find the former ECW World Champion. Mikey Whipwreck: “You mean me?” Minister: “Go start a fire Mikey.” The Minister explains the whole Mike Awesome situation and calls it very extreme. However, it’s going to be nothing compared to Cyberslam. The Minister says he loves us all, especially our souls. Cue maniacal laugh.
Opening sequence.
Heyman promises us live coverage of Wrestlepalooza 2000. Do we have to?
We open with the announcers in the ring and Mikey lighting a table on fire at ringside. Joel talks about exposing himself to an 18 year old named Tina before the Impact Players have something to say. Joey says Dawn Marie is the only reason they still have the titles and Jazz is tired of it. Dawn says there isn’t a woman in wrestling that she’s afraid of, so here’s Francine. Justin holds up the kendo stick to hold her off until Raven comes out and we get a match.
Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Raven/Mikey Whipwreck
This starts as a handicap match but Mikey hops up on the apron to be Raven’s partner. We get an opening bell and a referee but Mikey hiptosses him down and we go to a break. Back with Justin stomping Mikey down in the corner and powerbombing him onto a chair for two. Joey says this is Wrestlepalooza 2000, even though it looks like any other TV taping. Storm gets two off a great looking dropkick and it’s back to Credible.
Mikey finally comes back with a clothesline and it’s hot tag to Raven who cleans house. A knee lift and bulldog get two on Justin as everything breaks down. The Players send the challengers into each other but Mikey sends Storm to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Raven’s drop toehold sends Justin face first into the chair but Dawn makes the save. Francine comes in for the catfight and Mikey gets two on Justin off the Whippersnapper (Stunner). Storm gets one as well but Justin tombstones Mikey to keep the belts.
Rating: D+. The match was energetic but the majority of it was spent on this huge brawl instead of a match. Also I can’t stand having a team thrown together due to being in the same place and giving them a tag title shot. I know it’s a common move in wrestling but it doesn’t make it any less annoying. At least it wasn’t Raven vs. Dreamer again though.
Cyrus is in the ring but Joey says they won’t put the camera on him….until the camera goes on him. Cyrus yells at C.W. Anderson and his chick Elektra, saying everyone is here to see the Network. Elektra immediately takes off her robe, leaving her only in a VERY tight dress to fire up the crowd. Cyrus implies Elektra is a rather loose woman and orders Lou E. Dangerously to get her out of the ring.
Left alone in the ring, Cyrus talks about going through the roster and finding someone who doesn’t have a contract. That person would be RVD’s friend Scotty Anton (Scotty Riggs), and he isn’t allowed on TV again without a contract. Cyrus talks about RVD ruining his friends’ careers and here’s Anton in the flesh. A fight is about to break out and the fans start a Scotty chant. Cyrus says Scotty is going to bend over for the Network like he does for Rob and you know it’s on. Before Anton can kill Cyrus though, here’s Rhyno for a match.
Rhyno vs. Scotty Anton
Scotty hits a quick dropkick but gets powerbombed down for two. Rhyno puts him in the Tree of Woe for a Gore as Steve Corino and Jack Victory bring in a table. Anton comes back with a row of chairs but fights off the heels with his fists. A high cross body gets two on Rhyno but Corino hits Anton in the back of the head with a cowbell. There’s the Gore and another one to put both Anton and the referee through the table in the corner for a DQ. No rating but to call this a match is a huge stretch.
Post match here’s RVD for the slugout with Rhyno but security breaks it up before it can go too far. Rob dives over the pile to get at Rhyno again.
Steve Corino vs. Tommy Dreamer
This is a bullrope match for no apparent reason. Corino jumps Dreamer with a cowbell to the eye to open Tommy up. Dreamer comes back by grabbing Corino’s crotch and pounding away at his head. They head to the floor with Corino busted open as well, causing Dreamer to pound away at the cut. Back in and Dreamer hits Corino low before hanging him upside down in the corner. Jack Victory comes in to take out Dreamer and here’s Sandman for the save. Joey: “He can’t be the cavalry because he’s too drunk to ride a horse.”
Sandman has a ladder and kendo stick with him for no apparent reason. As is his custom he takes his sweet time to get to the ring and even climbs the ladder to drink in the aisle. Sandman FINALLY gets in the ring and takes out the Network goons with the kendo stick. I have no idea if the match is still going on or not. Victory and Corino are sent into the ladder and Dreamer is back up. Tommy superplexes Corino down and the good guys lay him on the ladder for a HORRIBLE looking double splash with Sandman stopping halfway through.
Now Tajiri comes out and mists Dreamer in the eyes before kicking Sandman in the head. Corino suplexes Sandman onto the ladder so here’s New Jack with his trashcan full of weapons. The good guys fight up and New Jack uses the staple gun to open Victory’s head up. Sandman ties Corino up in the ladder and beats him with a broom as everyone else is fighting in the crowd. Joey declares this a huge victory for ECW as we cut between Dreamer beating up Tajiri and New Jack working on Victory.
Sandman suplexes Corino onto a piece of guardrail as Dreamer rings the bell over Tajiri’s crotch. Dreamer puts Tajiri in the Tarantula (you read that right) but Victory makes the save. Sandman brings in a table but Tajiri lays Dreamer across it for a top rope double stomp. Tajiri gets hit in the throat, causing him to choke on his mist. Victory gives him the Heimlich Maneuver which gets the mist out, sending it right into Corino’s eyes. New Jack hits a chair shot off the top for the pin on Corino.
Rating: W. For whatever this was, because it wasn’t wrestling. I knew this streak of decent wrestling and good angles couldn’t last.
Rhyno comes in to destroy all the ECW guys until Dusty Rhodes makes the real save. Two Bionic Elbows don’t drop Rhyno so it’s Sandman with a kendo stick shot to drop him.
PPV, Hotline and house show ads eat up most of the rest of the show.
The ECW guys celebrating takes us out.
Overall Rating: D-. This show is the Rain Man of professional wrestling. It shows promise at times, but as soon as things starts going well, something happens and they spin out of control. The last segment doesn’t change anything and doesn’t even make sense. Dusty Rhodes, a former NWA World Champion, is now representing the wild and insane world of extreme wrestling? Once you can wrap your head around that, we’ll get into a 54 year old man who has been retired for over ten years holding his own against a monster like Rhyno. This show wasted everything they had been building up for the last few weeks.
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