ECW on TNN
Date: April 14, 2000
Location: Burt Flickinger Center, Buffalo, New York
Attendance: 3,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

The main event tonight is an elimination match between Super Crazy, Tajiri and Little Guido for the TV Title, but there’s a much bigger story at the moment. Mike Awesome, the ECW World Champion, has jumped to WCW while still champion. This led to a lawsuit where ECW made a nice amount of money, but the more important story is we need a new ECW World Champion. We’ll cover that tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with the announcers in the ring where Joey runs down TNN. That was always a questionable move as TNN may have been treating ECW badly, but it was still airing them. Joel’s limerick of the night isn’t completely explicit but it would send Vince into a conniption today.

The opening sequence starts but Heyman cuts us off to announce that Tazz showed up in Indianapolis to win the title back despite working for the WWF at the time. Video is coming later.

We cut back to the arena with Rhyno Goring and piledriving Kid Kash for a pin. Was that a match?

T-shirt ads.

Hardcore Heaven ad.

Jazz wants to beat up Dawn Marie but finds Mikey Whipwreck and Sinister Minister instead. She says something long and censored and apparently wants the Minister to find Marie for her. Minister’s price: beer and sex. Jazz tells him to go to church. Mikey laughs and lights some paper on fire.

The Tazz video is still coming.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Nova/Chris Chetti

The challengers beat the Players in singles matches recently to set this up. Credible sends Chetti into the corner to start but That’s Incredible is countered into a rollup for two. Off to Storm vs. Nova for some wristlocks before Nova takes over with a Japanese armdrag. They trade legsweeps for one counts each and it’s a standoff. Nova tosses Storm into the air for a low blow before bringing in Chetti for a double hiptoss and elbow drop for two.

The Players are sent to the floor but Nova takes them out with a nice dive as Dawn Marie looks terrified. Gorgeous but terrified. Back in and Nova loads up a reverse DDT on Credible but Storm makes the save with a leg lariat. The Players take over on Nova but he comes back with chops to Storm in the corner. Lance rolls through an Irish whip into the Canadian Mapleleaf which isn’t a big move yet. Back to Credible for a chinlock for a bit before a swinging DDT gets no cover.

That’s enough of the wrestling and tag team formula though so here’s a table. The table is set up in the corner but Nova grabs a quick Novacane (downward spiral) to put Storm down. The hot tag brings in Chetti with a fireman’s carry into a Michinoku Driver for two on Justin as everything breaks down. Justin gets pulled to the floor but Storm superkicks Chetti down for a close two.

Nova comes back in and walks up the table for a tornado DDT on Storm but Lance gets up at two. Justin BLASTS Nova in the head with the Singapore cane to give Storm a two count but Credible gets thrown through the table. Dawn Marie comes in but here’s Jazz to take her out. Storm hits a good piledriver on Jazz and Justin blasts Chetti in the head with a belt for the pin to retain.

Time for the Tazz footage. Mike Awesome issued an open challenge at a house show last night after jumping to WCW and appearing on Nitro Monday. This was a total surprise and made no sense from WWF’s perspective but they did it anyway.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Taz

Taz sends him to the floor to start and the brawl is on with Taz getting the better of it. They head back inside with Awesome getting stomped down in the corner. The referee gets bumped and here’s Dreamer to DDT Awesome down. The Tazmission gives us a new champion in about 90 seconds. Why they didn’t just put the title on Dreamer still eludes me.

House show ads.

TV Title: Little Guido vs. Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Elimination rules. Crazy is defending but the Network has promised the title to both challengers. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being knocked to the floor. Guido kicks Tajiri down for two but gets sent to the floor a second later. Crazy comes back in but gets tossed as well by Tajiri. Guido gets kicked in the face by Tajiri but Big Sal crushes Tajiri on the floor. They’re flying around too fast to keep up with right now.

Sal misses a splash against the barricade and Tajiri bails into the crowd. Crazy uses Sal’s back as a launching pad to dive at Tajiri before pounding away on Sal in the ring. Tajiri comes back in to kick a chair into Crazy’s ribs but Guido is back in again to kick Tajiri down as well. A suplex gets two on the champion before he and Guido head to the floor. Crazy is dropped face first onto the concrete but Tajiri sends Guido over the barricade for a superkick to the jaw.

Crazy is busted BAD as Tajiri blasts Guido in the head with a chair, busting him open as well. Tajiri brings in a table but kicks Guido to the floor instead of putting him through it. Sal interferes again to give Guido control again. Crazy continues to stagger around at ringside as the challengers are back inside. Tajiri kicks Sal through a table at ringside before putting Guido in an inverted Gory Special. Even Tajiri is busted open now but he kicks both guys in the head to keep control.

Another table is brought in and placed over Guido who is already under a chair. Crazy is laid on the table but avoids Tajiri’s top rope double stomp, sending it through the table and onto Guido for the elimination. So it’s Crazy vs. Tajiri for the title now with Tajiri blasting him in the face with a chair. A German suplex puts Crazy down for two and here’s the Network. Crazy powerbombs Tajiri down for two and slides in another table.

Tajiri comes back with a crowbar of all things and blasts Crazy in the ribs. The champion kicks him down and gets the crowbar but has to duck the green mist. Another powerbomb puts Tajiri through the table but there’s no one to count. Cue Rhyno for a Gore on Crazy and a piledriver from the apron through the table at ringside. Tajiri covers the corpse that used to be Super Crazy for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This had to happen at some point as Crazy always felt like a placeholder until we got to the important stuff. That being said, it was nice for the 485^th edition of this match to actually be worth something. The carnage here was more than they needed, especially when you had three talented guys in there. At least it was exciting though.

Post match Cyrus comes out to celebrate and says that Tajiri will give the Network the title at Cyberslam. Also, Cyrus is God because he’s Network. Cue Sandman’s 3 minute entrance and after hotline and home video ads, we see Sandman blasting Rhyno with the cane. The fifth show keeps Rhyno down and Sandman keeps swinging until Cyrus tries to interfere.

Corino makes the save and Tajiri blinds Sandman with the mist. Rhyno picks up the referee and gores him through Sandman through the table. Joey asks if there’s anyone else to stand up to the Network so here’s RVD for a return. Cyrus threatens to fire Van Dam if he gets in the ring but Rhyno cuts him off, demanding that Rob get in. Rob cleans house by himself and stands off with Rhyno to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible and the last half of the show was dedicated to the biggest story, which is a good thing at the moment. The Network is a well done story at the moment and it makes sense to keep the focus on it. RVD returning is a good thing as well as it gives the fans someone they can believe in, which has been sorely lacking in ECW lately. Nice episode but the same problems still plague them.

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November to Remember 1995
Date: November 18, 1995
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,150
Commentator: Joey Styles

 

People whose opinions I respect have told me that this is the greatest ECW show of all time. With that information in mind I figured I had to take a look at it at least once. This is the last ECW show I’m going to do for a good while because I’m more or less out of ones I can do. The main event is a tag match with Raven/Cactus Jack facing Dreamer/Funk. Other than that it’s a big bunch of stuff but from what I understand it’s the whole package rather than a single match that makes this great. Let’s get to it.

 

Keep in mind that this is more or less ECW’s Wrestlemania.

 

Joey gives us a quick rundown of the card. This is the home video version so that makes some more sense this time.

 

Broad Street Bully vs. Don E. Allen

 

Bubba Ray Dudley is guest ring announcer for no apparent reason. The Dudleys hadn’t united yet so this is when it’s still the goofy stable. Bubba is in overalls and a top hat with a white jacket. D-Von would come in soon and get rid of Chubby, Dances With and Dudley (all with the last name Dudley) to make himself and Bubba the killers that they’re known as. They’re faces here though or at least Bubba is.

 

Bubba has a really bad stutter so him managing to get the title of the show out is considered remarkable. Actually scratch that as he’s gotten rid of the stutter….and there it is again before he can infringe on copyrighted material such as “let’s get ready to rumble.” Hearing Joey have sympathy Bubba is just weird. Big Dick gets mad at him so Bubba says screw this and beats up Allen. HUGE powerbomb puts him down so the Bully tries to jump Bubba. Bubba hammers him down and powerbombs him also, then pins him for no apparent reason. By the way the regular ring announcer is Joel Gertner.

 

Heyman comes out and calls for the lights to be dimmed. They come back on and SABU is back. Huge ovation for him and a bigger one for when he shakes hands with Heyman. He had been in WCW for a cup of coffee and that went nowhere so here he is back where the people love him.

 

Jason Knight vs. Konnan

 

Joey does the ring announcing for this for some reason. Knight is more famous as the Jason that hangs out with Justin Credible a few years after this. Yes he actually was a wrestler for awhile. Konnan is billed from AAA in Mexico. I need to do When Worlds Collide someday. Konnan is still masked here. The guest referee is Taz, who is still not healed from his neck injury so he can’t wrestle tonight.

 

He had been Tazmaniac for his entire run up to that point so this was a repackaging for him. Taz says tells you he can’t wrestle due to the doctors and ECW not clearing him to wrestle. Jason cuts him off and we see why Jason rarely talked. Taz says Jason has Konnan to deal with so Taz says ring the bell, decks Jason and lets Konnan hit a crucifix bomb to end this in like 10 seconds. Taz will be back later.

 

El Puerto Ricano vs. Stevie Richards

 

Richards is a goofy putz (Joey’s words) here and is Raven’s (top heel here) lackey. Richards gets a gift from the unnamed Blue Meanie who comes over the guardrail with a shirt that says Blue Meanie. The gift is a Flock of Seagulls half shirt. The non Clueless Putz (never did anything of note) jumps Richards and we’re off.

 

Ricano hits a missile dropkick and dives on Meanie to take care of him. He goes up too many times though and Richards slams him down to take over. Flock of Seagulls dude hits a powerbomb and the other guy (you type Ricano over and over again) is in trouble. He gets draped over the top and takes another Stevie Bomb. Blue Meanie comes in and misses a moonsault. Richards hits a superkick to end this. More or less just a squash.

 

Eliminators vs. Pitbulls

 

I haven’t seen a lot of the Pitbulls but they were very popular and pretty successful in ECW so this could be worth seeing. Francine in leather isn’t a bad thing to see as she manages them so this should be good. Oh and Jason manages the Eliminators. It’s weird to see Saturn with hair. The Pitbulls are known as #1 and #2. #1 has hair. Got it. He and Saturn start us off and the Pitbull (Gary Wolfe. #2 is Anthony Durante) shrugs off most of Saturn’s offense.

 

He tosses Perry into the corner and slams him. The idea of the Pitbulls were they were more or less Rhyno in leather and more athletic. Blind tag brings in Durante who gets a top rope elbow for two. Off to the other Eliminator John Kronus to face #2. Big power match here as Kronus hits a release Dragon suplex to take over. The Eliminators, the more athletic team, speeds things up a lot to take over.

 

An assisted moonsault takes out Durante but an elbow clearly misses. Thankfully Joey covers and says he moved, otherwise it would have looked awful. The fans are behind the Pitbulls as Kronus picks #2 up off a belly to back suplex. Kronus gets caught between the Pitbulls but Durante misses a splash in the corner and crashes to the floor. He’s bleeding from the elbow now.

 

Kronus is a lot fatter than I remember him being. Saturn comes in with that sweet high elbow drop of his (OH YEAH from Joey) but it only gets two. Saturn hits a corner rana which also gets two somehow. The Eliminators are a pretty new team so this is kind of their showcase match. Saturn tries to set up something on the ropes but a superbomb by Durante gets no cover.

 

Everything breaks down and Jason hits a legdrop on #2 to keep him down. Double tag brings in Kronus and Wolfe who cleans house. Double clothesline takes the Eliminators down and it’s a big brawl. Wolfe totally misses a spinwheel kick in the corner but Kronus sells it anyway. Double superbomb out of the corner ends Kronus and we’re done.

 

Rating: B-. This was a rather fun match. The botches make it a bit amateurish looking but at the same time this wasn’t exactly Gagne vs. Thesz out there. They would feud forever with the Pitbulls eventually losing their edge. Pretty good match though and the fans were into it the whole way (duh) so I can’t complain much here at all.

 

Post match Jason jumps Francine and tries to kiss her (Joey: “HE LIKES WOMEN!”) and as the Pitbulls go for the save the Eliminators beat them down and hit Total Elimination on both guys.

 

Psicosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

 

This is a Mexican Death Match, meaning more or less last man standing but you need a pin before the count begins. This was a long running feud and I think this is the blowoff match. The fans chant Rudo at Psicosis. Rey of course gets a Tecnico chant and comes out to what sounds like Sad But True by Metallica. Yep that’s what it is. Not what I think of when I think of Rey. The big match intros are done in both languages.

 

This is when Rey was still like the fastest guys in the world and Psicosis is able to keep up with him so I’m not even going to try to call play by play on this. Even Joey can barely do it and he could double as an auctioneer. Rey gets a quick pin off a top rope rana but Psicosis is just mad and not really hurt. Out to the floor we go and Rey falls when trying to jump onto the railing. That clip is on the Rise and Fall of ECW I believe.

 

Back in the ring a missile dropkick puts Rey down and a moonsault gets a pin. The count is unimportant at this point because we’re only like three minutes into this. Rey gets draped across the buckle as this is one sided at the moment. How weird is it to see Psicosis as the far bigger and stronger guy? Powerbomb gets the pin but Rey is up 1. They’re counting backwards so he barely beat the count.

 

Psicosis goes to get a chair but changes his mind and is booed out of the building. A buckle bomb keeps Rey down. Twisting senton (flip into a backsplash) gets another pin but that’s fine because Rey is up at 1 again. Dropkick puts him right back down and the fans are literally standing. Now it’s chair time and Rey takes a DDT onto it. He beats on Rey then puts the chair on Rey’s back for a moonsault to get his fourth pin in a row.

 

Rey barely beats the count so Psicosis goes for the possibly injured knee (from the botch earlier) which is rather smart strategy. Psicosis tries a moonsault but Rey pulls the chair into the way and takes over. Springboard clothesline sends Psicosis to the floor. High cross body and we’re in the crowd for a second. HUGE moonsault (Asai hadn’t been named yet I don’t think) and Rey takes over with some chair shots.

 

Psicosis tries to run into the crowd and you can’t see them but Rey brings them back and they’re at ringside again. Never mind as we’re going back into the fans. Psicosis is more or less running as Rey is on fire. They’re right below Joey (who is in what’s called The Eagle’s Nest) so Rey hits him with a chair, climbs up the Eagle’s Nest and dives off with a HUGE hurricanrana and Psicosis is dead and we’re done.

 

Rating: B. Pretty awesome stuff here as Rey played possum after the beating and then woke up to massacre Psicosis and become just too much for him. Rey was only 20 at this point so he was a total rookie phenom. Total war here and the psychology actually existed. Rey would be in WCW in about 7 months.

 

Jason comes out to talk to Rey and offers to manage him. Rey says no so Jason threatens him. Take a guess how that goes. The Eliminators come out to destroy Rey but 911 (more or less the security guard who is about 7’0 and 400lbs) comes in for the save and easily dominates the Eliminators. Rey gets on his shoulders and the fans seem pleased.

 

Tag Titles: 2 Cold Scorpio/Sandman vs. Public Enemy

 

Woman manages Scorpio and Sandman who are champions (along with Scorpio being TV Champion) and come out to Whomp There It Is. Whoever gets the fall here faces Mikey Whipwreck later in the show for the world title. Woman is kind of hot actually. She could look rather good at times. Scorpio dances a lot while we’re waiting on the Public Enemy to get here.

 

I have no idea what the face/heel alignment is here but I think Public Enemy is face. According to Gertner the TV Title is on the line here also. Yeah apparently Sandman and Scorpio are the heels here. Sandman is billed from…..Utah? Seriously? Scorpio is doing a thing where he says he doesn’t weigh as much as he really does. He does have a gut on him.

 

Public Enemy is leaving soon after this for ECW apparently. Scorpio offers them a chance to leave so let’s have a dance off. Uh…..ok? Scorpio cuts a rug and Joey dances too. The camera catches him and his reaction is great. Rocco does a robot which isn’t horrible. Scorpio does one also and destroys him. And now we set dancing back about a thousand years with Sandman dancing too. Joey: “Yes but can he walk a straight line?” They want Woman to dance and it’s very short. Crowd is WAY into this.

 

The champs jump the dancing morons but Public Enemy clears the ring quickly. AND IT’S TIME TO DANCE! The music is still playing as I think we have a comedy match on our hands. Just a hunch mind you. Ok so now we’re ready to go with Sandman vs. Grunge. Sandy grabs a headlock but is sent to the floor. Everything breaks down quickly and they all head to the floor.

 

Everyone grabs a chair and gets back in the ring for a good old fashioned duel. Sandman and Grunge are thrown to the floor and Scorpio follows. They fight up the aisle and a fan offers 2 Cold a frying pan. He steals someone’s prosthetic hand instead. Well why not? Sandman goes into the crowd and Grunge is busted open. He hits a splash for two on Scorpio as we’re bordering on having a regular match.

 

Rocco hits Sandman with a pumpkin pie and Sandy is in the crowd again. Woman pulls Sandman out of the crowd. Sandman tags himself in and he jumps over the top (!!!) with something like a dropkick. Rocco comes in and hits a headscissors to take over. Slingshot legdrop by Sandman but he doesn’t cover.

 

Off to Scorpio who hits a slingshot splash for two. Scorpio vs. Rock at the moment if you’re all lost. Rock avoids a dropkick and escapes a tilt-a-whirl, only to miss a moonsault. The fans chant for SD Jones for some reason as Scorpio hits a double underhook powerbomb which is broken up at two.

 

Standing moonsault eats knees and it’s off to Sandman. Rocco (they’re Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge if you’re totally confused by me changing named) still can’t bring in Grunge so Grunge comes in and pounds on Sandman. Woman cracks Rocco with a kendo stick and Sandman dives over the top to take out Grunge. Sandman gets backdropped onto a table which doesn’t break. FREAKING OW MAN.

 

Grunge finally goes through the table and everything breaks down even further. Rock hits a big moonsault to the floor as they need to end this soon. A broom handle is brought in from somewhere with Scorpio taking over with it. There it goes though so 2 Cold settles for a Stinger Splash and moonsault for two on Rocco. We’re tagging again now and Grunge gets the hot tag. Sandman comes in sans tag but Public Enemy screws up their finisher and Sandman falls on top for the pin.

 

Rating: D. Yeah this went too long. These guys aren’t the ones you want having seventeen minutes. This was better as a comedy match but then again I might have just wanted to see Woman dance. Either way, not much here and Sandman getting the pin was pretty much the only logical choice since he lost the title to Mikey in the first place.

 

Sandman is out but Scorpio pours beer down his throat. And it’s time to dance again. SCORPIO DROPS THE BEER! Sandman catches it and the look on his face is priceless.

 

On the actual card Axl Rotten beat JT Smith here but it was a dark match.

 

We recap Commissioner Tod Gordon vs. Fonzie, a referee. Shane Douglas lost the world title to Sandman and said he wanted a better referee in the form of Fonzie who would call matches right down the line. This of course made him by far and away the biggest heel in the company almost by default (not kidding).

 

Fonzie punched Gordon when Gordon yelled at him so 911 gave Fonzie one of the biggest chokeslams you’ll ever see (LONG story there but it was some of the most brilliant storytelling you’ll ever see. In short the move was banned but Fonzie had to unban it so someone could use it. 911 immediately hit the ring to kill Fonzie with it and blow the roof off the place). Fonzie also got in a fight with Beaulah who is the referee tonight.

 

Bill Alphonso vs. Tod Gordon

 

Beaulah is referee and I really want to know what Dreamer did in a past life to get her. He must have invented beer or something. Remember neither of them are wrestlers so this is only going to be so good. Gordon jumps him and they fight by Sign Guy and Hat Guy. Beulah slaps Gordon so he clotheslines her. Tod (Commissioner) Gordon (HOLY NON WRESTLER BATMAN!) comes in and Joey is losing it.

 

Tod takes him down and says let’s fight. Not sure why he needed to grab a mic to say that but whatever. Gordon takes off his jacket and wins a slugout. This isn’t a match for the most part but they’re trying. Fonzie gets a low blow and says he’s going to beat Gordon up. Joey: “It’s not over yet you rat faced excuse for a human being!” And remember: this is because Fonzie is a GOOD referee.

 

Fonzie takes the time to talk to the camera and Gordon gets a WICKED cooking sheet shot to the head. After he gets hit, Fonzie starts jabbing himself in the head and what do you know he’s bleeding from there. Gordon is shockingly passable here. Gordon finds a frying pan but Fonzie gets it, only to take a low blow. Joey is absolutely losing it over this. Frying pan to the head but Beaulah is still down from like five minutes ago.

 

And now for the important part of the night. Taz runs out to be referee since he was earlier in the night and counts two for Gordon, only to stop and deck Gordon then put Fonzie on top for the pin. To say Taz is instantly hated is like saying Cena was hated against Punk at MITB.

 

Rating: A+. Ok now keep something in mind here: this is a legit businessman vs. a referee. All things considered, THIS WAS AWESOME. They were beating the tar out of each other and it had the fans going nuts, even by ECW standards. Not a thing wrong here and the whole thing worked. Considering who was out there, great stuff.

 

Taz wants to talk. This is probably the most important part of the entire show. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz says he’s not coming out. Taz talks about how he got no cards, no letters or phone call. When Dreamer hurt his fingers everyone cried and freaked. Same with Funk. When Sabu got his neck broken, everyone was worried about him. What about Taz?

 

Fonzie shouts into the camera that Taz is his guy. Taz says screw the fans and screw Heyman. Heyman said take your time to get back. Quote: “Screw you Heyman. My father ain’t some fat Jew lawyer that pays my way through life.” Taz says Fonzie cares about him and wants to put food on his table and money in his pocket. Gordon is still out cold on the mat. Taz says since no one cares about the two of them, they don’t care about the fans.

 

Taz stops for a bit and Joey talks about how stunned he is to see Taz finally sell out. Fans are trying to rush the ring. Taz lays on his back and says bring it. This whole thing was Taz’s epic heel turn which would result in him beating basically everyone on the roster for the next year, almost always in a squash while he begged Sabu to come out and fight him. That wouldn’t happen for a year and a half, resulting in one of the main events at their first PPV, Barely Legal. Mad heat on him here and a great heel turn.

 

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Mikey Whipwreck

 

Sandman is making his entrance (through the entrance) but is jumped by some guy with long blonde hair who is making his in ring debut tonight, taking Sandman’s place to challenge for the title.

 

ECW World Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Steve Austin

 

Yes, THAT Steve Austin. He had cut some promos but this is his first of I think two matches in ECW before he signed with WWF. He drinks Sandman’s beer while Sandman is taken out. There was a line at some point in ECW (not this show) where Joey asked if you could imagine Steve Austin drinking beer and flipping people off on Monday Night Raw. Not really connected here but Sandman takes awhile to get taken out.

 

The idea behind Whipwreck is that he won the title on a fluke after being a total jobber for years. Austin says his debut is the thing to remember. He’s sounding like Stone Cold here rather than Stunning Steve so this is where he really got his start, at least with that character. Austin says that for tonight, Whipwreck is Eric Bischoff to him. Joey: “KILL HIM! Wait I didn’t mean that!”

 

Steve jumps him to start and the beating begins. Mikey has had no offense at all as Austin mauls him. He beats on him on the floor then in the ring and back on the floor again. Mark this date down: THE ECW ARENA IS CHANTING HOGAN. It’s to tick Austin off but it happened! Just because he’s Austin, he hits a big boot and drops a leg for two.

 

Mikey has had no offense at all. He reverses a whip on the floor though and Austin doesn’t seem to mind. Mikey hammers away but walks into a Stun Gun (Austin’s finisher at the time) but it only gets two. Mikey grabs a sunset flip out of nowhere (complete with the tights coming down) for the SHOCK pin to retain.

 

Rating: C. You can barely call this a match but it did what it was supposed to do. Whipwreck keeps the title (for some reason) but Austin losing is the important part. It resulted in him losing his mind and being all crazy, which apparently was what caught WWF’s eye and got him his job, which ultimately saved Vince’s company.

 

Hack Meyers vs. Sabu

 

Meyers is more or less just a biker. You know this might have been a better surprise if he hadn’t come out earlier. Sabu works on the knee of all things to start and messes up a snapmare (Meyers landed on him). Time for a chinlock. FEEL THE EXTREME! It’s chair time and a slingshot dive in with the chair gets two. We go to an armbar and the fans are calling it boring.

 

Springboard leg lariat gets two and we hit the chinlock again. Meyers makes a comeback and hits a powerslam for two. A weird facebuster off the top which is Hack’s finisher gets two. They go to the floor quickly but Sabu drops a leg for two. Meyers wins a slugout but Sabu goes onto Meyers’ shoulders and gets a DDT to take him down. Spinning leg lariat puts Meyers outside and Sabu hits a diving rana to the floor.

 

After a bit more brawling on the floor we go back in but Sabu dives into a powerbomb. Release suplex put Sabu down but Meyers goes up and gets caught in a victory roll off the top for two. This is going WAY too long for a big return over a glorified jobber. Meyers goes up but gets dropped on a chair. Sabu hits a rana to put them on the floor AGAIN. Sabu sets up a table and dives over the top through it, half killing Meyers. That only gets two in the ring so Sabu slams him and the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flipping double legdrop with a chair in between) ends this FINALLY.

 

Rating: D. See, when a superstar like Sabu returns, it should be total dominance. This mostly was, but the fact that it took so long made Sabu look kind of weak. Not his worst stuff, but at the same time it just went way too long at about 13:00. Heyman would manage Sabu for awhile until we got to his match with Taz.

 

Sabu acknowledges Meyers for his efforts.

 

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

 

Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.

 

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

 

Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.

 

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

 

It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

 

Cactus beats them down a bit but gets taken down too. DREAMER SUPERKICKS RICHARDS! Ok so it was in the ribs but still! Raven leaves Dreamer laying to end the show.

 

Overall Rating: B+. I can see why people would call this ECW’s best show ever. It likely is and it’s very good for the most part. Keeping in mind that this was 1995 and WCW was running stuff with monster trucks and mummies while WWF had King Mabel as top heel, this was a very different kind of show. They did their thing and let guys like Foley and Austin do their things, knowing what they had to work with. Very fun show but some of the stuff is a bit odd. Granted it wouldn’t have been for ECW fans so that takes some of it away I guess. Worth seeing though.

 

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ECW on TNN
Date: April 7, 2000
Location: Siegel Center, Richmond, Virginia
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

We’re getting closer and closer to Hardcore Heaven and while we don’t have anything announced yet, the main ideas are clearly there. The Network is a good idea and Cyrus is a great mouthpiece for the group. We’re just waiting on Heyman to show up to stand up for ECW which will blow the roof off the place. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey are in the ring for the opening and the limerick is almost entirely censored. Joey brings out Raven and Francine for the opening chat. He asks Raven why the bounty was put on Dreamer’s head but Raven says Joey is putting too much stock in the internet and dirt sheets because he’s innocent. Joey asks about Da Baldies saying Raven put the bounty on Dreamer’s head. Francine says she’s a baldie herself but she can’t show Joey where on TV. She also knows Raven didn’t put the bounty on Dreamer so Joey accuses her of doing it, earning a slap in the face.

Cue Da Baldies themselves to say that Raven did issue the bounty and accuse Raven of smelling of fear. Raven: “What you smell is your mom and that’s because I only had $10 on me.” You know that earns a beating for Bird Boy, presumably setting up a tag match of some sort later tonight.

The Sinister Minister recaps what we just saw, including telling us that Raven tells the truth even when he lies. The camera zooms out to show him controlling a marionette Mikey Whipwreck.

Opening sequence.

We go to the announcers so they can say we’re going to a break.

Steve Corino vs. Kid Kash

Corino, now in regular trunks instead of his singlet, grabs a hammerlock to start. Kash comes back with some armdrags and a dropkick before clotheslining Corino out to the floor. A HUGE corkscrew plancha takes Corino and Victory out as Joel regales us with stories of his days as a luchador. Back in and Kash chops away but charges into an elbow in the corner. Corino counters a backflip into a powerbomb for two and Jack Victory gets in a cheap shot to Kash’s jaw.

They head outside with the Kid being whipped into the barricade so Corino can gloat a lot. Back in and a great looking clothesline puts Kash down and a Dusty Rhodes elbow gets two. Kash takes Victory out with a baseball slide and snaps off a top rope hurricanrana to take Corino down. Victory comes in but gets dropkicked into the referee. Kash hits the Moneymaker (lifting Pedigree) but Rhyno comes in to Gore Kash, giving Steve the pin.

Rating: C+. Best ECW match in MONTHS. This is proof that ECW has the kind of guys that can put on an entertaining match without the hardcore nonsense, which makes that kind of stuff all the more annoying. This was a nice, back and forth match with two different styles working well off each other. See why that’s a good idea?

Big Sal says Guido will win the TV Title next week. Cyrus comes in and tells Guido the TV Title match will be a three way dance with Tajiri thrown in. The implication is Tajiri will lay down after Crazy is eliminated. Cyrus loves the idea of a young Italian champion. “It’ll be like Bruno in ’63.”

Cyrus pitches the idea of the three way dance to Tajiri, saying that Tajiri will win the title. “Imagine the young Japanese girl demographic!”

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. Super Crazy

Mikey grabs a headlock to start as Joel talks about Crazy only having two channels on his TV when he was younger. Crazy escapes the Whippersnapper (Stunner) and a headscissors sends Mikey to the outside. A top rope Asai moonsault misses and a superkick puts Crazy down. Mikey legsweeps Crazy into the barricade and drops him face first onto the same barricade for good measure. Back in and Mikey puts on an Indian deathlock of all things but lets Crazy go, allowing him to hit a middle rope moonsault for two.

Ten punches in the corner have Whipwreck in trouble but he forearms the champion down and drops a middle rope legdrop for two of his own. Joel: “How can that be a guillotine legdrop? Guillotines are French and Crazy is Mexican. YOU DON’T SEE HIM EATING A CROISSANT!” Mikey loads up a moonsault but gets powerbombed down, followed by a top rope Lionsault to retain the title.

Rating: C. This was your usual spotfest but again: WE DON’T NEED HARDCORE STUFF! This has been such a refreshing episode of the show with now two solid matches lacking the violent nonsense. Wins like these make Crazy look more credible as he came from behind and pinned a former world champion clean. Nothing wrong with that.

Post match Guido runs in to jump Crazy to set up their match next week. Tajiri comes in to knock out both guys.

Tommy Dreamer thinks the bounty is a joke and offers to double the bounty if anyone can actually get it done. He knows Raven did this and says if Raven can finally get off the pills, he’ll realize that it’s not Dreamer or his dad that did all this but Raven himself. There is no Raven without Tommy Dreamer.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Angel

Joel and Joey spend the entrances accusing each other of putting the bounty on Dreamer. Joey says he’s known Dreamer too long and Joel’s defense is he’s too cheap. Tommy says he needs some help so here’s Sandman to make it 3-1. Joel: “But is he sober enough to get to the ring?”

Sandman/Tommy Dreamer vs. Da Baldies

Dreamer busts out the barbed wire before we go to a break. Back with the brawl already underway and a replay of various violence from the break.

Grimes is slammed off the top, crotch first onto the barbed wire. Dreamer brings in a ladder and wraps the barbed wire around his arm for an elbow onto Grimes onto the ladder but only the ladder gets hit. Sandman is whipped into the ladder and Grimes pounds away with the kendo stick. DeVito talks trash on the mic and here’s Raven to make it 3-3. House is cleaned and there’s the Even Flow to DeVito for the pin. Not enough to rate but more Dreamer/Raven shenanigans makes my head hurt.

Dreamer and Raven stare each other down but here’s Mike Awesome to interrupt. He understands that these two have a problem with each other but it’s not for why they should. Awesome knows Raven didn’t put the hit out on Dreamer. Judge Jeff Jones grabs the mic and says he did it himself, cuing Awesome to take out Raven and Dreamer. There’s one epic heel alliance out of the way. Both guys are put through a table by Awesome.

Post hotline ad, Judge Jones talks about watching territory tapes and saw a lot of bounties. In short, he put one on Tommy because he thought it would be fun. Seriously, that’s it. Awesome grabs Jones and demands his payoff for taking out Dreamer, plus a bonus for taking out Raven.

Cyrus sucks up to the Impact Players and says they have the hottest manager in the business. Dawn Marie and Jason argue over who he meant.

Jazz rants about Dawn Marie for no apparent reason.

RVD is back next week and Rhyno promises to Gore him before slamming his own head into a wall several times.

Overall Rating: C. This show had the perfect balance to the hardcore violent stuff, decent wrestling, and storytelling that this show has been desperately lacking in recent weeks. I actually liked this and wouldn’t mind seeing more of it which might be a first. That being said, the bounty explanation was just stupid and felt like they threw it in there because they didn’t have another answer. However, it doesn’t really matter because something very big is about to happen which will change everything in ECW. Good stuff this week.

 

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 31, 2000
Location: Uptown Theater, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

After last week it isn’t clear who the top heels in the company are anymore. Mike Awesome and Raven seemed to be the featured act but it also looks like the Network is the main story. Odds are it’s the latter given that they got half the TV time last week, but you never can tell in ECW. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey get us going with both guys sucking up the Kansas City crowd. Joel talks about carrying this network and that brings out a Mexican speaking (his words, not mine) Cyrus, flanked by Tajiri. The fans want Heyman as Cyrus talks about bringing the fans Rollerjam (I loved that show actually) and says the Network is taking control tonight.

Tonight he’s going to fight Super Crazy for the TV Title because idiots like Tajiri aren’t getting the job done. Tajiri isn’t pleased but Cyrus threatens to revoke his work visa and send him back to Big Japan to do jobs to Abdullah the Butcher in thumbtack matches. Cyrus repeats that he’ll be fighting for the title in case someone didn’t get it the first time.

Opening sequence.

Danny Doring and Roadkill promise to get their hands on the Dangerous Alliance tonight. One of Da Baldies comes in and steals the camera time, triggering a brawl. The other Baldies come in and the good guys are laid out.

Hardcore Heaven is May 14.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Little Guido

Feeling out process lasts about 8 seconds before Tajiri starts firing off kicks, only to be caught in a reverse powerbomb out of the corner. They head to the ramp for another HARD kick to take Guido down. It’s already table time but Guido comes back with a slingshot Fameasser to take over. Guido’s buddy Big Sal sends in a chair but Tajiri throws it at Guido, only to hit the table in the corner instead. A few chops put Tajiri down but he comes back with the handspring elbow as we take a break.

Back with Tajiri kicking Sal down and suplexing Guido onto the table for two. A big kick to the head puts Guido down again and Tajiri ties him up in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide to drive the chair into his face. Off to a dragon sleeper but Guido gets his foot onto the ropes. Another handspring elbow is counntered into a neckbreaker and Tajiri is in some trouble. Not enough trouble to matter though as he counters a tornado DDT into a super brainbuster for the pin on Guido.

Rating: C-. By ECW standards this wasn’t too bad. The hardcore stuff continues to plague the company though, as these two were more than capable of having a good match without the table and chair and interference. ECW fans always brag about having good wrestling and all that jazz, but at this point it was very rare to see wrestling without hardcore on the side.

Mike Awesome says anyone can come try to take the title away from him.

The Sinister Minister is in an elevator for a tarot card reading about ECW. There isn’t much to say here as he just summarizes the current storylines in the company and makes a few unfunny jokes about some lower level people, such as Elektra used to be a B, but with the help of modern medicine she’s a DD. The ending is a surprise though as he starts laughing and Mikey Whipwreck comes in laughing just as hard and destroying the table.

Danny Doring/Roadkill vs. Da Baldies

Doring wants to make this a street fight because that never happens in ECW. There are three Baldies though so Doring brings out Tommy Dreamer to even things up. It’s a brawl to start of course with Grimes headbutting Dreamer low in the corner. Tommy finds a pizza cutter from somewhere and carves up Grimes for fun. Angel comes in for the save and clotheslines the invading Danny down as well. Doring comes back with a Stroke (G-Spot Sweep) to take Angel down, only to be taken down by a sitout Rock Bottom from DeVito.

Roadkill comes in with a great looking springboard clothesline and a Boss Man Slam for two. A Vader Bomb elbow crushes DeVito even more and here’s another table. Dreamer suplexes Grimes on the ramp but Roadkill misses a springboard splash through the table. Doring has a piece of guardrail and Dreamer puts a ladder on the corner. Da Baldies make a comeback and whip the non-Roadkill good guys into the ladder.

Three stereo low blows take the Baldies down but Dreamer gets powerbombed out of the corner to take him out again. Doring and Dreamer come back to snap the ladder into two Baldies’ faces. The rail is sent in but Grimes misses a Swanton bomb, landing on the steel. Dreamer DDTs Grimes onto the rail and a guillotine legdrop/top rope splash from Doring/Roadkill are enough for the pin.

Rating: D+. Usual ECW garbage brawl here but at least there was a story to it with Da Baldies trying to claim the bounty on Dreamer. Not a terrible match here as at least this time they advertised it as a street fight instead of a wrestling match. Again, at least it was short which helps a lot.

House show ads.

TV Title: Cyrus vs. Super Crazy

Before the match Cyrus reveals that it’s a SWERVE and there’s a new opponent.

TV Title: Rhyno vs. Super Crazy

Rhyno runs him over to start and takes Crazy’s head off with a clothesline. There’s a table in the corner less than two minutes into the match but Crazy comes back with a springboard spinwheel kick to the face. Rhyno heads to the floor and gets taken down by a nice plancha, drawing a big ECW chant. Back in and Crazy rains down right hands in the corner but Rhyno tosses Crazy into the air for a nice crazy. The Gore is countered with a drop toehold but Rhyno comes back with a powerbomb for a close two.

Rhyno stomps away in the corner and drops him throat first on the top rope. We hit the chinlock as the match slows down a lot. Jack Victory gets in a cheap shot from the floor to Crazy but the champion comes back with a quick springboard moonsault for two. Now it’s Rhyno in a chinlock but he comes back with something like a running powerbomb through the table. Crazy somehow kicks out at two before grabbing a quick victory roll for two. A third powerbomb gets two for Rhyno and here’s another table. Rhyno loads up a superplex, only to be countered into a sunset bomb through the table to retain Crazy’s title.

Rating: C-. There was a story here which is the main thing ECW matches often lack. I can live with the tables in there if the story makes sense, and Crazy overcoming the odds to beat Rhyno as clean as you can in ECW works well enough. Crazy is another guy that can go without all the extra stuff which makes it more annoying to see it water down his matches.

Post match the Network comes in and destroys Crazy until Sandman makes the quick (by his standards) save, but Rhyno Gores Sandman down. The Network poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. For an ECW show, this actually worked. The Network story is a good idea and fits the anti-establishment idea of ECW. There’s a story going through the episode here other than Raven vs. Dreamer and that’s what ECW needs more than anything. This wasn’t too bad but the hardcore stuff needs to be toned down.

 

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 24, 2000
Location: Ice House, Salem, New Hampshire
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

Things have changed a bit after the last PPV but it still isn’t anything worth seeing yet. Hopefully things can pick up a bit now that we have a new main story with Awesome and Raven teaming up as the new big bads. As long as I don’t have to sit through the hardcore nonsense even more, things should be ok. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel do the intros with Gertner ripping into Cyrus with nothing special.

Opening sequence.

Joey brings out TV Champion Super Crazy and we get the same video from last week on how he won the title at Living Dangerously. Crazy says something in Spanish and here’s his first opponent: Tajiri. Before the match can start here’s Cyrus to say he’s the boss so this is a Japanese death match, which I think means anything goes. Joel goes after Cyrus but is threatened with being arrested and fired. Cyrus shoves Joey as well so Styles takes off his jacket, only to be met with the same threats. If Joey hits him, the show is off the network and will go back to the stone age. Joey backs down and Cyrus gets to stand tall.

 

TV Title: Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

 

The match starts after a break with Crazy being whipped into the barricade. Back inside and Tajiri hits a hard kick to the head and the handspring elbow but Crazy dropkicks him back to the floor. An Asai Moonsault into the crowd takes Tajiri down again before getting two off a moonsault press back in the ring. Crazy pounds away with right hands in the corner but Tajiri comes back with a quick victory roll for two and a HARD kick to the head puts Crazy down.

That’s too much wrestling though so here’s a chair, only to have Crazy dropkick it back into Tajiri’s face. Tajiri comes back with a chair to the Crazy’s head and an even bigger one puts the champion down again as we take a quick break. Back with Tajiri tossing in a table as Crazy is busted wide open. A top rope double stomp puts Crazy through the table for two so Tajiri brings in another table. Crazy comes back with a powerslam through the table and slides in a third because why have two when you can have three. A moonsault doesn’t put Tajiri through the table so Crazy powerbombs him through it for the pin.

Rating: D+. How exactly was this different from any run of the mill ECW match? The Japanese death part of the match was just a bunch of table spots which you can see anytime around here, which is the problem with having a hardcore company: it takes away from the shock value of it when the match is supposed to be something special.

Post match Corino, Victory and Rhyno come in to destroy Crazy until Sandman makes a three minute entrance for the save. As is always the case, the heels just stand there while Sandman drinks in the crowd. Tajiri hits the mist on Sandman, allowing Rhyno to Gore him down. Sandman and Rhyno both get piledrivers.

Back from a break and the Network is still in the ring with Cyrus saying no one can stop them. If anyone wants to fight them, come out here right now and do it. This brings out Balls Mahoney with his chair and the goons bail on Cyrus for some reason. He realizes he’s on his own but Corino saves him from death. The segment FINALLY ends after taking up literally over half of the show.

Earlier today Da Baldies beat up Tommy Dreamer in front of a Coke machine. Apparently Raven has put a bounty on Dreamer’s head.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Vic Grimes

Dreamer jumps Grimes on the floor and sends him into the post to draw early blood. They head into the aisle where a spotlight staring straight into the camera blinds us for a bit. The brawl goes into the crowd and I don’t think there was ever a bell. They fight into a penalty box as you can barely see a thing in this mess. Back to ringside and Dreamer hits him in the back with a chair but Grimes hits a powerslam on the floor to take over.

Now they head to the back of the arena for more walking around with the occasional punching called brawling. Grimes gets on top of a scaffolding and drops an elbow onto Dreamer on the concrete. Da Baldies carry Dreamer back to ringside and crotch him on the barricade. Back inside and a top rope splash is only good for two because the people in ECW won’t get pinned if they get their heads cut off while wild horses attached to their limbs run off in all four directions.

Back to the floor with Dreamer sat in a chair so all of Da Baldies can pound on him. Grimes tries a running flip dive but lands on the apron before falling on the empty chair. Dreamer pulls out a ladder for no apparent reason before tying Angel (another Baldie) up in the Tree of Woe. Dreamer catapults the ladder into the Baldies’ faces and drops them with a double DDT. Grimes is dragged back into the crowd and placed on a table so Dreamer can drop an elbow of his own. Back in the ring and Grimes blocks a DDT but misses a Swanton onto the ladder, giving Dreamer the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling of any sort at all. It was a bunch of messy spots with a few wrestling moves thrown in for fun. This is the kind of nonsense that just keeps going and going while eating up the limited television time they have. The Raven vs. Dreamer stuff was played out three years ago but it’s all the GENIUS Heyman can come up with.

The yet to be named Sinister Minister is in the ring and says that he came up with the idea to pair up Raven and Awesome. Oh yeah that’s a thing. I had forgotten they were a pairing until now. Francine is in the ring with him but he berates her for a bit before handing her the mic. She brags about all the success she’s had in ECW and doesn’t like him taking credit for her success. Francine claims she’s behind Awesome and Raven, so here are the Impact Players to stare down Awesome and Raven as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D. That’s on the ECW sliding scale. This was a tricky episode to grade because they did have stories going on, but the stories either aren’t interesting or are just being teased instead of actually going anywhere. The wrestling was bogged down by more hardcore nonsense, which is going to cost them in the long run. It’s fine to have once in awhile but when that’s all you have, the effect is gone in a hurry.

 

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 17, 2000
Location: Asbury Park Convention Center, Asbury Park, New Jersey
Attendance: 2,300
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

It’s the show after Living Dangerously and a few things have changed. First and foremost, Super Crazy of all people won the TV Title, beating Rhyno in the finals. We also have new tag team champions with the Impact Players getting the belts back, putting us right back where we were before the fast title changes happened. The next PPV isn’t until May so we’ve got time to build to the next bad show. Let’s get to it.

We open with a brawl from some undetermined show with the Impact Players beating Nova and Chris Chetti to retain the titles. We only saw the last 75 seconds or so.

Opening sequence, but instead of the usual stuff we get a recap of the PPV.

RVD and Super Crazy are in the back with Rob saying Crazy is nice for carrying his belt. Crazy should get all the perks: limousine rides, champagne, green cards, all that good stuff. Just remember that Rob is coming back to get his title back.

Angel vs. Sandman

After about four minutes of intros and a break we have all of Da Baldies laying out Sandman so Angel can talk trash while beating on him. A cane shots from Skull gets two for Angel but Sandman throws him out to the floor. Sandman beats all of Da Baldies down and heads to the back for a piece of guardrail.

Angel gets crushed and we head back inside for more left hands from Sandman. The rail is set up in the corner but Angel comes back with more right hands, only to be sent into the rail in the corner. Sandman gets crotched on the rail but Vito accidentally hits Angel with the cane. Sandy pounds away on all of them and pins Angle after breaking the cane over his head.

Rating: D-. This was your usual ECW hardcore mess. The match wasn’t any good and to even call it a match is a big stretch. Sandman was popular though so the fans were into him which is the right idea. It doesn’t do New Jack any favors though as he’s fought Da Baldies for months now with no success.

Cyrus is sitting next to Rhyno and says this started as business but has become personal. He wants to kill off the ECW phenomenon and Rhyno says no one is safe.

Joel implies Cyrus and Rhyno are lovers.

Steve Corino is in the ring with Jack Victory and wants to know when he got heat with the office. He just wanted to be on TV once in awhile and doesn’t want his match tonight.

Steve Corino vs. New Jack

New Jack’s song begins and the beating is quickly on. This is one of those “matches” which involves nothing but weapons shots because New Jack doesn’t seem to know how to wrestle. Joel: “He’s beating Corino like a lapdancing midget at a funeral.” Joey: “What he said.” A guitar shot puts Corino down and draws in Jack Victory to try to save his buddy.

They head to the floor with New Jack taking over as they head towards the balcony. We take a break and come back with Victory strapped to a table as New Jack dives from the balcony to destroy everyone in sight. Back in and Rhyno runs in to Gore New Jack, giving Steve the pin.

Rating: N/A. Considering this was a four minute “match” which was mostly spent on a big balcony dive before someone not even involved in the match caused the end, what kind of a rating do you think I’m going to give it? I can’t stand New Jack as he’s completely against what wrestling is supposed to be. When you make Sandman look like a skilled grappler, something isn’t right.

Spike Dudley is out 9 months for knee surgery.

House show ads.

Raven talks about having his woman taken from him and tells Tommy to pretend life is a game of cards. The cards are finely blown glass and as they build trust, they turn over more and more cards. Then one day the cards are swept away and shattered, leaving both guys wanting the cards intact again. Didn’t they just want to play a game? The camera pan up to show Francine dressed like Raven and doing his pose and catchphrase.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is defending. The referee does a weapons check but as soon as the bell rings Judge Jeff Jones throws in a chair. Tanaka grabs one of his own and we get the dueling chair spots until they cave each others’ heads in with chair shots. Tanaka hits a running forearm in the corner and a dropkick sends Awesome to the floor. Mike gets a boot up to knock a chair into Tanaka’s face and drops him ribs first over the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Tanaka dropping Awesome with a tornado DDT and getting two off a missile dropkick. Awesome grabs a quick chokebomb for a near fall of his own and a Batista Bomb gets the same. The Awesome Splash gets the third straight two count and it’s table time. Surprisingly enough Tanaka is put through it with no reversal before being rammed into the corner for two again.

Here’s another table because just one isn’t a title match in ECW. Tanaka breaks up an Awesome Splash through the table and superplexes the champion through the wood to put both guys down. There’s the Roaring Elbow to knock Awesome out but Jones has the referee. Cue Raven to lay out Tanaka and the referee with DDTs for no explained reasons. Tanaka is powerbombed through a table on the floor and here’s Tommy Dreamer for the save, only to get caught in a DDT as well. Dreamer is powerbombed through a table as well and the match is thrown out.

Rating: C. The match was fun as usual but we get the idea already: Tanaka and Awesome can beat the tar out of each other. The idea here is that Raven and Awesome are the latest evil partnership but we kind of got that idea when they won the tag titles. I’m just over this match already and I have no need to ever see it again.

Overall Rating: D. I can’t remember a company with a bigger divide between the main event and everything else. The main event stories take up the last third of the show and the rest of the episode was just random brawling with no stories to be seen anywhere. Nothing to see here, but this just felt like a wasted episode.

 

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Anarchy Rulz 2000
Date: October 1, 2000
Location: Roy Wilkins Auditorium, Saint Paul, Minnesota
Attendance: 4,600
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We it’s the final countdown here as we only have four shows left. The main event here is Lynn vs. Credible which is a big match for some reason I guess. It’s not like it matters much as their TV show’s last episode was five days after this. RVD gets his TV Title shot against Rhyno here in what should have been the big feud for the last 8 months or so but whatever. Let’s get to it.

Joel does his usual sex promo which is always funny and this is no exception. You could always tell he was having a blast doing those and he clearly is here too. We get the theme song with no real issue beforehand.

Christian York/Joey Matthews vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

Matthews is more famous as Joey Mercury. Doring and Roadkill continue to be the insanely popular team that finally got the tag belts once the company was dying. Doring and Matthews start us off. Roadkill is ridiculously popular and gets a ton of cheers as he destroys York. He’s Amish in case I didn’t mention that. York counters a slingshot into a leg drop from the middle rope which was pretty sweet.

The better faces clear the ring but Doring goes for a tope but just misses completely and crashes into the concrete in a HORRIBLE looking bump. York and Matthews hit stereo suicide dives which is one of my favorite spots. Roadkill hits a SWEET double clothesline off the top. By that I mean he was standing on the rope, not the corner. That was awesome. This is an awesome high flying match.

Roadkill hits a huge powerbomb on York and the squash is on. A double team slam/top rope leg drop ends this. They hug it out afterwards and Simon Diamond and Swinger show up with chairs to take out the winners.

Rating: B-. Solid opener here that got the crowd into the show quite well. The tag titles meant nothing at all though as they were gone for so long and Nova/Chetti was the best team in the company for like the last year or so. This means nothing though as the belts aren’t even on the line on this show. Decent match but it’s not like it means anything.

Gertner eats Lucky Charms as his diet regimen. Someone has been training him apparently.

Cyrus comes out and bashes Gertner while using the I’VE GOT POP line that TNN had back then. They have a match tonight which should be one sided as Cyrus used to be a wrestler. Cyrus says to get him, Gertner has to beat a guy named EZ Money. Money was a no name guy that wound up in the very last month of WCW as Jason Jett. Gertner gets scared. Cue Spike for no apparent reason. Apparently he’s the commissioner now which has to be a parody of WWF or WCW. He says Money has to beat Kid Kash for no apparent reason, setting up this.

Kid Kash vs. EZ Money

Somehow the segment I just went through took about 8 minutes. To the shock of NO ONE, Kid Rock music gets no reaction in Minnesota. This should actually be fairly awesome. Kash could go, there’s no question about that. He had been pushed as a big time guy, actually beating Rhyno for the TV Title for two weeks. Money hits what would become his finisher in WCW (vertical suplex but he just lets him go so that Kash goes flying) for two.

The fans want tables and Money crashes onto all of his buddies. Kash hits an INSANE double jump front flip to the floor. If Kash could do nothing else, he could REALLY do big flips well. Gertner tries to get the crowd into things as Money hooks a reverse Boston Crabd and hooks Kash’s arms up with it in a PAINFUL looking move. Kash is just insane with these jumps and flips.

He hits a 360 tornado DDT for a long two as the fans are way into this. Kash hits what would be more commonly known as Whisper in the Wind and a bunch of other big flips and springboard moves for two. He was definitely exciting. Money Maker (double underhook piledriver) gets nothing due to interference.

The referee doesn’t notice three guys in the ring other than Kash apparently. None of this works though as Kash is too big of a star to lose to EZ Money. Money goes for a top rope powerbomb but reverses into a rana for the pin in a sloppy but difficult  move. Gertner vs. Cyrus now.

Rating: B-. This was supposed to be entertaining and it certainly was. Kash was fun to watch at times and this would certainly be in that list. Money was never anything all that special but he was ok here. This was just filler but for about 8 minutes it was a very solid cruiserweight style match.

The heels beat the tar out of Kash, Spike makes the save, Spike gets beaten up and Sandman comes in without music or anything to blow the roof off the place. Elektra tries to seduce him but gets beer poured on her chest and Gertner’s face shoved into them. Match finally.

Cyrus vs. Joel Gertner

Joel takes his shirt off and has Kamala paint on his chest. He goes for a People’s Elbow, even taking the neckbrace off. This is weird as Joel has no idea what he’s doing and Cyrus is a trained wrestler in a suit. It’s ALL Cyrus here of course as Gertner is pretty much dead. Pay no attention to Sandman out there. I’m sure he won’t do anything. Beer to Cyrus’ eyes and a rollup ends it for Gertner.

Rating: N/A. This was just for the ECW fans and it worked fine. It only took six months to get to this. They talk about how this is a victory over the Network, even though they would be canceled in 5 days anyway.

Beer bash follows.

Website plug and house show ads to fill time.

Da Baldies vs. Chilly Willy/Balls Mahoney

Angel and DeVito for the combination here. Willy was this guy that never meant anything but got a push near the end of the company due to no one else being around to get it. Joel comes back to commentary here and talks like a New Yorker in a funny bit. Mahoney has a fork and starts stabbing people with it. There’s a fork shot from the apron to the floor. Yeah this is going to end well.

This is the big blood/violence match of the night as Balls bites the cut and might have licked it a bit. There isn’t much here at all other than a DeVito moonsault in the crowd which mostly misses. Willy and Angel are more or less not involved here, leaving us with a one on one in the ring which isn’t that good. Angle runs back in and we get the staplegun to the eye. Three stereo chair shots to the faces end this.

Rating: D-. It’s your standard big brawl that means nothing at all but it got the fans into it so I guess we can pass it. A match with a staplegun to the eye though is just hard to get anything close to caring about or taking like pro wrestling as you probably guessed. I never got the appeal of these.

Lou E. Dangerously jumps Gertner. Joey goes after him and security drags him off. We go to the control room for no apparent reason where a guy is freaking now.

We go to Justin and Francine who we can’t hear at first. Oh he’s bashing Jerry Lynn. Credible is in a Favre jersey, which will NEVER mean anything in Minnesota. Nope not a thing.

Lynn says he’s tired of just being the best. He wants to be champion. If that was the case about two years ago, things would have gone differently for ECW.

Joey and Cyrus on commentary now. Is there a point to this after Cyrus got beat earlier?

Steve Corino vs. CW Anderson

The winner gets the title shot at the next PPV. I don’t remember either guy winning a PPV match recently but whatever. I think Corino is a face here but I’m not sure. Anderson is older than Corino? I wouldn’t have guessed that one. A long counter sequence starts us off and the fans are for Corino. They chop it out and amazingly Steve isn’t bleeding yet.

For a guy based around the idea of old school, Corino wasn’t very old school. As I type that Cyrus calls him out on it. Anderson is bleeding. Also isn’t Anderson supposed to be based on Arn Anderson? Therefore both of these guys are old school, and isn’t that completely against the idea of ECW in the first place? Corino takes a great chair shot and hey Steve is busted open. Even Joey points out how easily he bleeds.

Anderson goes for a Stunner on Corino’s arm as this really is old school based. They slug it out and Corino takes over for a bit. This has been pretty decent. Anderson gets crotches on a chair and they’re both down now. Corino goes Dusty Rhodes and I shake my head at him. Dusty, the guy that was supposed to be everything ECW was against, is getting tributes here. Simon and Swinger come out but Victory holds them off.

Anderson keeps trying to hit the spinebuster and never can get it. He sets up another chair in the middle of the ring but gets superkicked into it. He goes for the spinebuster AGAIN but gets caught in an Old School Expulsion (Reverse Twist of Fate and a great name for a move) on the chair for the pin and the title shot at November to Remember.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t bad but it was lacking that pop to get it to be something good. The chairs were used far too much in this for a match that is supposed to be about who is the best wrestler. Again I ask, who else have these two beaten? I certainly can’t remember them getting a major PPV win but I guess they’ve been hot on TV or house shows. Not bad but certainly lacking something.

Mikey, Tajiri and Sinister Minister (James Mitchell) read a book about witchcraft and demonology and it lights on fire. Riveting.

Rhyno wants RVD tonight. Good thing he has him. He says he’ll shove Fonzie’s whistle up his…yeah. Up Fonzie’s that is.

Tag Titles: FBI vs. Mikey Whipwreck/Tajiri

Once the titles hadn’t been in place for four months, Mikey and Tajiri won the belts in a tournament and held them for one day. The FBI, a former comedy team, held them for a few months before the final change at the next to last PPV. Nova and Chetti never got them of course. The challengers are in masks which is a weird look.

To my complete and utter shock, we start with a glorified comedy match. The Unholy Alliance (challengers) dominate and we get a Tarantula on Guido. Tony is tied up in the corner and gets a pair of baseball slides and a fireball. I continue to wonder why they called this wrestling after a certain point.

Can someone get these people a pizza before they all die? Tajiri slaps the turnbuckle to go with the clapping, but if he doesn’t speak English, how does he know it’s something he should clap to? Guido is busted open. They’re actually tagging in and out here which is rather odd. Unprettier is blocked by Mist but Sal pulls the referee out.

The Alliance is dominating here, meaning of course they’re going to lose. Yep there’s the belt into the ring from Sal. In a kind of creative ending, Tajiri takes Sal out with a moonsault but he lands on him and Tajiri can’t get out. A belt shot and an Unprettier keeps the titles on a completely uninteresting team for no apparent reason.

Rating: C+. This was ok and formula based but they could certainly have a better one. On TV where the titles changed hands, they apparently had a classic which I’ve heard a lot about but haven’t seen. This wasn’t bad at all but it was just kind of there. I still don’t get the appeal of the Italians as the champions though but they company was out of business in like four months anyway so it didn’t really matter.

More house show/website stuff.

TV Title: Rhyno vs. Rob Van Dam

The whole RVD never got beat and Rhyno is the bigger and better champion is decided here apparently while Justin Credible is main eventing another PPV. Rhyno charges while RVD is doing his spin kick to his name. We immediately go to the floor and I’m not sure if there was a bell yet. This is another of those big brawls that doesn’t really prove anything at all but the fans love them so they kept happening.

The lights are weird here as things are really dark. It’s likely the company just couldn’t afford it I guess. Van Dam hits an over the ropes dive to take out Rhyno. The idea here is RVD’s usual stuff isn’t working so he’s having to hit and run. The skateboard dropkick hits in the corner and the challenger is dominating. Cyrus calls the fans troglodytes. It must be a Canadian thing.

Rhyno hits a middle rope clothesline to kill RVD and take over. And it’s table time. You knew it was coming. Rhyno hits a chinlock as Alfonzo blows his whistle in time with the RVD chants. Five Star gets two and he’s stunned. The Gore hits and there’s the piledriver through the table. Fonzie hits Rhyno with a chair to set up the Van Daminator.

Van Terminator misses thanks to Justin interfering for no apparent reason and it hits Fonzie. Rhyno hits a running spinebuster through the table and then a piledriver on a chair ends it. I always hated that move for him as he’s a power guy using a move that Jerry Lawler used a lot. Never got that.

Rating: D+. You know for a big clash, this was pretty weak. RVD loses….why? Heyman wouldn’t put the spotlight on him because of guys like Justin? This wouldn’t have saved the company but it would have given them a better chance. This was a pretty weak match that didn’t feel special. It’s not really that good and while it’s entertaining, this should have been a main event somewhere instead of a throwaway match. But that would be logical booking which didn’t exist around this time so there we are.

Fonzie is more or less dead and takes forever to get taken out. There might have been a heel referee making a fast count too.

Did you know about the website and the house shows?

We’re at about 8 minutes of nothing at all happening at this point.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Lynn is the home town guy here so the ending should be clear but it’s ECW so of course it’s not. Justin is still wearing the Favre jersey in Minnesota which is supposed to get heel heat. That doesn’t date the shot at all. Francine has a broken rib or something. Again, these two are in the main event and RVD isn’t. Lynn gets the hometown boy pop and it’s not bad.

We stall FOREVER as it’s been fifteen minutes plus since the last match ended and this one hasn’t even started yet. We start with some technical stuff and the fans think Francine is a crack w****. Joey isn’t sure if Justin can outwrestle Jerry. Great to see that kind of thought going into things here. Lynn hits a middle rope bulldog and we hit the mat again.

Justin goes into the corner and goes to the floor. It wouldn’t have been as bad if he hadn’t jumped over the ropes like that. The plancha mostly misses though and everyone is down. This is moving pretty slowly but there’s a TON of time left so they have time to set something up. I knew the in ring stuff was going on too long. We head to the floor to get away from this wrestling nonsense. Can’t have that now.

Lynn hits a DDT on the chair to get us back to even. This match feels like something that should be in the midcard rather than the main event. Justin gets on a mic and yells at Lynn which is cheap heat 101 and there’s nothing wrong with that. We get our like third DDT of the match on the chair. Mix it up a bit guys. And there are a pair of legdrops to fix that.

Francine makes a save so there’s no table for Credible. He can’t beat Jerry though and Lynn hits the Cradle Piledriver for two, killing the crowd. Credible gets his own piledriver for two and they’re back. The referee gets kicked in the face and another is here. He gets to two and then just stops. It’s the same referee from the RVD match so yeah he was cheating earlier. Belt shot gets two.

He’s counting so fast that Jerry is having to in essence kick at what would be a two in a normal match but is almost three here. Tombstone again gets two and it’s New Jack. Dang it. He was supposed to be the referee for no apparent reason and here he is. Cookie sheet (New Jack needs his own cooking show) for the referee but Credible knocks out Jack. He walks into a Cradle Tombstone to give Lynn the title though.

Rating: C+. Not bad here, but like I said this feels like a big midcard match and not a main event on a PPV. That’s not a good sign at all but at least Credible isn’t champion anymore. Again, RVD is never champion but Credible was for over five months. Yeah that’s intelligent. The match was good, but it was Jerry Lynn vs. Justin Credible for the world title. See a problem here?

The locker room empties and Lynn makes a big speech. Or at least he would if the mic works. Seriously?

A Limp Bizkit video to Rollin with highlights of the show ends it.

Overall Rating: C-. This didn’t suck. It’s certainly not a great show or anything like that, but this was certainly one of the better ECW shows. The problem is of course though that the company is dead at this point and this show really didn’t mean much of anything. The booking here is a bit odd but at the same time it came off as a fun show and there was some good stuff on here. If you’re incredibly bored and can actually find it, take a look.

 

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Anarchy Rulz 1999
Date: September 19, 1999
Location: Odeum Expo Center, Villa Park, Illinois
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

And so it dies here. No not the company as they held onto life, if you want to call it that, for about another 16 months after this. Taz leaves here though, as WWF came with a huge sum of money about three weeks after ECW debuted on TNN. The Dudleys already left about two weeks earlier. Word has gotten out that Taz is leaving too, so don’t expect him to be incredibly over tonight. Other than that, there isn’t much on the card. Storm vs. Lynn should be fun though. Let’s get to it.

We see Masato Tanaka showing up. He’s the number one contender. I’m not sure but I think that was Dave Prazak doing the interview. Awesome’s manager shows up and doesn’t like Tanaka. He gets smacked.

Cyrus and Joey do the intro you would expect before we throw it to the theme song.

Lance Storm vs. Jerry Lynn

We start with this? Really? I guess part of anarchy is that we’re getting rid of the best match right off the bat for some reason. Dawn Marie’s dress is almost not even there. These are two of my favorites from ECW so I’ll be pleased with this more than likely. Jerry’s ribs are messed up because the Impact Players beat him up about a week before.

Lance Storm having his own personal chick is rather amusing. Crowd is pretty one sided to say the least. We have a nice technical piece to start. Did you expect anything else? The fans applaud which is always a good sign. ECW fans were fair if nothing else. I’ve always liked Joey’s mentioning of the referees. They work extremely hard and rarely get the credit that they deserve. Storm’s chops kind of suck.

There’s a bad delay right before it connects and it makes them look really weak. The fans get bored with the match and would like to see something from Dawn. Cyrus gets a nice line in by saying that Storm is a step ahead of Gene Kiniski who was billed as Canada’s Greatest Athlete: he’s CALGARY’S Greatest Athlete. That’s a great line and could be solid for a heel in a territorial promotion.

The referee yells at someone at ringside for a LONG time with his eyes totally away from the action. Nice one guys. Jerry hits a nice plancha from the top rope to the floor and down goes Storm. Having Cyrus as an analyst is a GREAT help. Joey is fun to listen to but there is simply too much to have one guy do. That’s not a knock on Styles. It’s too much for anyone. Having an analyst in there takes a ton of pressure off of Joey and it’s helping a lot.

Cradle piledriver is blocked. Again, can someone explain the difference to me? SWEET pinfall reversal sequence that goes on for nearly a minute straight. That’s VERY impressive and literally gets a standing ovation from the crowd. They go wide to show it and they well should. Amazing stuff as I knew it would be. Cyrus points out that he used to be a wrestler which is something that needs to be done more often.

TNA has been doing it more often lately as they point out that Taz used to be a wrestler. He’s been retired what, 9 years or so? A LOT of fans likely haven’t seen him wrestle. How long has it been for King? Point out to the fans that he actually has experience. Jerry is a former world champion as is Taz. Let the fans know that once in awhile. There’s a chair wedged in the corner that hasn’t been doing anything yet.

Lynn is thrown into the corner but slides to avoid the steel macguffin. He slams his ribs into the post though and Storm goes after it like a Hart-trained wrestler attempting to use basic psychology. Lynn hits a Stunner out of nowhere to get us back to even. I love when wrestlers just bust out random moves.

It makes no sense that so many guys only use their signature stuff. Use whatever comes to mind, at least in kayfabe terms. Storm hits a knee to the ribs and hooks a ¾ nelson of all things for the clean pin? That came out of NOWHERE. It’s fine to end it that way as it looked solid, but DANG was that random.

Rating: A-. I loved this and yes it’s biased. Even still though, this was very solid stuff. See what happens with simple psychology and good wrestling? It works very well indeed and you get a great match that I was way into. This worked and to be fair it’s probably because they’re two of my favorites in ECW.

Joey and Cyrus argue about “the office.”

Simon Diamond is here. He used to sleep with Dawn Marie so he’s awesome. He talks in the 3rd person but has none of Rock’s talent so there you go. He is looking for a partner and asks for Tom Marquez who graduated from the House of Hardcore. And that’s not good enough because Simon didn’t say it. There is no man here to fight Simon. And cue Jazz. Apparently he’s looking for a partner. Which is why he asked for someone to fight. Got it.

She’s a face at this point and is in no way shape or form a Chyna rip-off. Nope, not at all is she, the woman that looks tough and is overly muscular and fighting men a rip-off of Chyna. Not at all. Diamond runs his mouth off and yells at Marquez, the timekeeper tonight, to fight Jazz. Sure why not.

Jazz vs. Tom Marquez

Jazz gets beaten up for awhile and then hits a mat slam for a long two but a guy named Tony DeVito pulls the referee out. Yeah this wasn’t a match. 45 seconds at most.

Chris Chetti and Nova run out for the save and apparently THIS is a tag match now.

Chris Chetti/Nova vs. Tony DeVito/Simon Diamond

Apparently Nova is the most ripped off wrestler in the world as whatever he invents is on Monday night the next week. While that’s true to an extent, I’ll let it go and let Mr. Joey Pot and Cyrus Kettle, call this match. Wow that Jazz is BLACK. WOW that joke sucked. Anyway, you get the idea I think. DeVito goes for a Rock Bottom and botches the living tar out of it. And after about two minutes Danny Doring and Roadkill along with that redhead chick named Angelica run out for the DQ. Yes it’s Lita.

Rating: N/A. Two minutes of just boring stuff.

They hit Jazz with the Hart Attack. A ton of jobbers come out to stop Roadkill and it’s just a massive brawl. And now we get the point to all this: it’s New Jack. Oh why does he have to come back? I’m sure you know my thoughts on New Jack by now. One of the jobbers in there is the semi-famous Big Vito.

Staple gun to the head of some guy. And we do it again. Make it three times. I hate New Jack. I truly do. Nova and Chetti seem to like him though. Ok to be fair, the crowd is going nuts over this.

Tour ad.

Cyrus and Joey argue some more.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy vs. Little Guido

During the entrances, Joey says he’s more or less high on laryngitis medications. Ok then. Tajiri is in his traditional look now. Crowd seems to favor Crazy the best. They point out the three distinct styles here which is a nice touch. Well this is better than another combination them going one on one again I guess. Oh and Big Sal is now the Big Salbowski. Give me a break.

Yes I get that it’s an intentional parody, but if this was the other way around, ECW would be FREAKING over WWF taking another idea from them. When ECW does it, it’s a parody though. Yeah that’s annoying. The chant of Where’s My Pizza starts up. WOW those get annoying. It’s your basic spotfest to start: stupid but fun. Guido hooks a camel clutch on Crazy and Tajiri kicks the tar out of him. They set for it again and Tajiri kicks the heck out of Guido. Nice one.

Tajiri hits a picture perfect moonsault to the floor to take out both guys. It was of the Asai breed in case you were curious. Guido hits a second rope Fameasser which looked good. Not sure why but it did. Crazy one ups Tajiri by hitting a top rope Asai moonsault and lands ON HIS FEET. That was awesome looking. In a SICK spot, Tajiri goes for a sunset flip on Crazy but it’s blocked. Tajiri pulls himself back up, spins crazy around and hooks the Tarantula.

Guido throws in a great double foot to the face. That was one of the coolest things I’ve seen in a long time. Guido gets the Sicilian Crab at the same time Crazy gets a camel clutch. Tajiri was totally off the ground. Ton of sick spots in this match. That baseball slide dropkick in the Tree of Woe is always great. Crazy follows that up with a moonsault to put Guido out.

It’s elimination rules in case you didn’t get that so we’re down to Tajiri and Crazy. The ten punch count being in Spanish is always a nice touch. The handspring elbow hits for Tajiri. We get a Super Loco chant. When they get creative like that I can live with them. Tajiri blocks the triple moonsault and just goes off on Crazy. A SICK brainbuster ends it.

Rating: B-. This is an odd match. The spots were great and I liked them a lot, but I just could not get into the match as a whole if that makes sense. I think it’s because this has been done so many times now that there’s just no real reason to care about this match. It was fun, but there’s just nothing of substance to it. Nice spot fest though.

We throw it to Steve Corino who says they were going to bring in the Insane Clown Posse to fight Raven and Dreamer tonight. And they’re not here. Corino was the manager apparently and brought them in. Instead Raven and Dreamer get Rhino and Corino. Ok then.

Billy Corgin is here.

They rant about WCW or something or other for awhile.

Justin Credible vs. Sabu

Does anyone else find it stupid that ECW says Sabu is genocidal? That’s just a bit of overkill. Sabu was banned for no apparent reason. Justin has a restraining order. Sacre bleu. What a waste of my time. Yes I quoted Smart Guy of all things. The referee says it’s a legal document, but there is no law tonight since Anarchy Rulz. Justin drills the announcer for saying it and the lights go out. Let’s get to it.

Apparently the Impact Players got him banned for being too violent. Fonzie gets a table for Sabu. Justin gets a Russian leg sweep on the ramp which looked good. I’d expect that’s the only wrestling move for awhile. Sabu goes through a table for some reason. Did anyone care about Credible? I don’t really think so. We get a vague Kliq reference which Justin was a part of in the back.

Sabu hits a big spot and Joey calls it indescribable just before he, say it with me, DESCRIBES IT. A bunch of overblown table spots follow. I don’t care either. So since Justin is having his head handed to him, I’m more or less counting down the time until the SHOCKING yes SHOCKING I SAY comeback that gives Justin the win. Cyrus finds Fonzie annoying. That’s very amusing. Justin is bleeding fairly badly.

A kendo stick shot gets two but Sabu has his foot on the ropes. Ok, so legally binding documents aren’t legal, but the ropes are. Got it. That’s Incredible gets two. Fonzie slides in a chair but it hits Sabu in the head. Nice one. BAD looking tombstone (That’s Incredible) on the chair ends it.

Rating: D-. The only word that came to my mind here was meh. I just totally did not care here for a few reasons. One, it’s Justin Credible. Two, you bring Sabu back to have him job? What sense does that make? The match was so sloppy and just bad. Didn’t like this at all, mainly due to the idiotic booking as Heyman continues to insist that Justin is some ring god.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did.

That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this. Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz. Yeah this was a total secret right? Awesome hits a sweet Tope (Taker Dive) to the floor to take Tanaka down. This is your standard solid match with these two. Naturally chairs and tables are brought into play but you have to expect that in ECW. Tanaka hits a Tornado DDT on a chair for two.

And Tanaka gets powerbombed over the top to the floor through a table. Top rope splash follows that for two. Ok then. Tanaka no sells three LOUD chair shots and this Diamond Dust which is an awesome move. It’s table time again with Awesome in control again. Awesome hits a top rope powerbomb for the pin. Yeah that works but a chair shot to the head from the top doesn’t? Taz hands him the belt after the match. The roster says goodbye to Taz as no one cares about Axl Rotten. The fans loving Taz now is kind of stupid. Taz tells them to chant for Awesome. Nice touch there.

Rating: B. Usual good stuff here from these two, but at times the no selling gets annoying as all goodness. Still though, this was a shock to some people and it was a nice touch throwing Awesome in there as people knew Taz was losing, so here we didn’t know who was leaving with the belt. This was good.

Raven is hanging out by a swing and runs down the majority of the feud between him and Dreamer. The “It’s Tommy’s” line gets me every time. And no, I’m not running down that whole feud. The thing was excellent though. Raven and Dreamer are tag champions at the moment. Raven says he let Dreamer beat him that night. This is the Raven that everyone loved and he was awesome. He quotes Keyser Soze. How awesome is that?

Gertner comes out to interrupt the announcer and the crowd pops. And here are Francine and Dreamer. Man in the Box is always awesome so I can’t complain. To get it over with, the Dudleys were leaving and Dreamer stood up to them. Raven ran in to be his partner and they won the tag titles. They hate each other though and Dreamer is hurt badly so Raven is making him wrestle until he’s crippled.

Simple in a way I guess. Dreamer says he won’t be cutting a babyface promo. And cue the babyface promo. He’s going to wrestle no matter what the doctors say. And here’s Corino so I’d bet we’re getting a tag title match. Ok never mind as it’s a singles match with Rhino. Pay no attention to the fact that they said there would be a tag title match later tonight with these three and Raven which is inevitable. Yeah I’m not even counting this as a match because Raven is just killing time before he gets here. They’re just wasting time and HERE’S Raven.

Tag Titles: Raven/Tommy Dreamer vs. Steve Corino/Rhino

Jack Victory, the sidekick of Corino and Rhino comes in to help and a double DDT ends this about 12 seconds after Raven gets there.

Rating: N/A. Can someone tell me when the match ended and when it started?

Mancow, some annoying DJ that had TWO WCW PPV matches comes out with some fat guys since we have a ton of time left. They do nothing other than high five Raven and leave. WOW.

Ad for November to Remember.

So with 35 minutes left in the tape there’s just RVD to go.

Axl Rotten comes out to talk. Seriously, why does this guy keep getting on PPV? He wants the shot at Awesome. Please come murder him. Instead it’s the Impact Players and a British guy named Johnny Smith. Apparently Smith vs. RVD is the main event. Rotten says the people are cheering for the women and not the talent.

Insert your Becca joke here. Balls Mahoney and Spike come in for the save and Dawn gets hit with an Acid Drop. Smith takes a BIG chair shot and leaves. So Balls gets the title shot instead. Oh dear.

ECW TV Title: Balls Mahoney vs. Rob Van Dam

And we have half an hour to go and this is the main event. Oh DANG this could be painful. So we have Lynn who is obsessed with beating Van Dam and we get….Balls Mahoney vs. RVD. And people wonder why this company died. So Van Dam walks around for a few minutes to kill time. Wouldn’t a five minute match be a better use of time?

Oh that’s right: that army of jobbers had to be beaten up by New Jack instead of having a quick match. So with 25 minutes to go, NO ONE buys Mahoney having a prayer here. Seriously, they’re just blatantly wasting time now. I can’t get over Balls Mahoney main eventing a PPV. Seriously, no one cares about this match at all. All I’m doing is watching the clock on the player to wait until this is over.

Are those punches Balls throws supposed to be impressive or something? Van Dam hits a nice dive from the top into the crowd. And that ends anything interesting in this match. Seriously, the rest is more or less nothing but punches, kicks, chair shots and Balls doing moves he botches. This got TWENTY MINUTES.

Yeah I skipped a lot of the details here, but other than managing to kill an ECW crowd in a town like Chicago, this is the least interesting main event I can ever remember. Just terrible. A video package of the show fills in the final three minutes of the show.

Rating: F. Balls Mahoney main evented a PPV. That should be a meme somewhere for EPIC FAIL.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t completely terrible. There are some good matches here, but good night the stuff that sucked was sucking hard. The opener and world title match were both very solid but the rest is completely forgettable. The three way cruiserweight match was fine for what it was but it’s been done WAY too much for me to care again. Not completely terrible, but nothing worth seeing. Storm and Lynn and the title match are good though.

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 10, 2000
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,500
Commentators: Joel Gertner, Joey Styles

It’s the go home show for Living Dangerously and the main story….is up for debate actually. It could be Dreamer and Tanaka winning the tag titles on a fluke last week. It could be (and likely is) Heyman and company going to war with the Network. It could be Dusty vs. Corino. Either way, none of these feuds have had matches announced for the PPV, but maybe we’ll get something tonight. Let’s get to it.

Joey and Joel are in the ring for the intro for the first time in a few weeks. Joel actually gets to finish him limerick this week by saying that after tonight’s show in Philly, he’ll be riding Cyrus’ mom silly. This of course draws out Cyrus but even Joey goes off on him this time, saying he won’t interview a jerk like Cyrus.

Opening sequence.

Cyrus is still in the ring as the fans chant for RVD. We FINALLY get some matches announced for the PPV as tonight we’ll start a TV Title tournament which will end at the PPV. Bill Alfonzo comes out but Cyrus keeps ranting, saying he’s canceling ECW on TNN to be replaced by Extreme Championship Shuffleboard. This brings out RVD with the title and his ankle wrapped up. Before we get to that though, here’s a PPV ad so we can pay the talent.

Also a hotline ad.

Back in the arena with Scotty Anton (Riggs) standing by RVD’s side. Cyrus makes fun of Riggs but Rob shoves him away and praises Riggs for his loyalty. Yeah the screwjob is coming a mile away. Anyway Rob says his leg is getting better and he’s still in the gym to stay in shape. Rob talks about watching ECW grow for years now and about how he’s never left for greener pastures. He isn’t going to let Cyrus screw up everything ECW has done no matter how badly he’s hurt.

Rob throws down the belt and vows to take the title back from whomever Cyrus gets it on and he’ll do it here on TNN. Cyrus and Fonzie are about to get into it but Rhyno gores Fonzie down. Rob and Rhyno get into it but Anton pulls RVD away before he’s injured even worse. Cyrus wants to start this tournament right now.

TV Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Rhyno vs. Spike Dudley

Spike scores with a quick neckbreaker and gets two off a small package. A sunset flip gets the same and Spike low bridges a charging Rhyno out to the floor. Back from a break with Spike being thrown off a balcony onto but not through some tables. Back to ringside with Rhyno being sent into the barricade and a bulldog gets two for Spike.

Spike takes a chair to the top but dives into a left hand to the ribs to put him down. A TKO gets two for Rhyno and he sets up a table in the corner. Spike comes back with the Acid Drop but here come all the heels to break it up. The distraction lets Rhyno Gore him through the table, injuring Spike’s knee in the process. A piledriver sends Rhyno to the semi-finals at the PPV, apparently against Sandman who beat Tajiri in a non-televised match.

Rating: D. I’m over this Spike the Giant Killer schtick. We get it: you have ONE MOVE that can stop big guys but people are going to interfere in case it’s a top level monster. It’s the same idea of X-Pac being able to hit the X-Factor and win matches against guys he has no business being in the ring against. In other words, COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE.

Spike is being taken to the hospital.

Jado/Gedo vs. Impact Players

This is also from the same show but it’s being shown out of order for some reason. I think Gedo is starting against Credible with the Players in early control. Off to Storm for a dropkick and a bunch of trash talking (yes from Lance Storm) before it’s back to Credible for a chinlock. Gedo tries to fight up but gets taken down by a clothesline and it’s back to Storm for right hands. Gedo flips out of a German suplex and clotheslines Storm down, allowing for the tag off to Jado.

Storm gets crotched on the top and belly to back superplexed down. Everything breaks down and both teams score some hot near falls. Back to Justin as the chair is thrown out of the ring, only to be replaced by a table. Jado reverses a hiptoss to send Credible through the table before catching Storm in a tiger driver. A top rope splash from Gedo gets two and Justin is dropkicked to the floor. Jado gets two off a middle rope powerbomb but Gedo walks into a superkick and gets caught in a spike piledriver for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a fun match for the most part when they ignored the violent nonsense. I can usually overlook insanity and rules breaking down in tag matches because it makes for the most interesting stuff. Also, how nice was it to see actual TAGS in a tag team match? Fun stuff here.

We’re FINALLY given more PPV matches with Dreamer/Tanaka defending against the Impact Players and Mike Awesome/Raven (never been on screen together that I remember) and Corino vs. Dusty Rhoes in a bullrope match.

Tag Titles: Raven/Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka/Tommy Dreamer

Sure why not. Awesome throws Dreamer around to start before it’s off to Raven for some cheap shots. Dreamer gets up and Raven runs off to bring Mike back in. Tanaka gets the tag as well to give us the same match we’ve been watching for three months. Awesome wins a slugout and gets two off a quick splash. Tanaka sends him face first into the middle buckle and scores with a missile dropkick for no cover. Awesome counters the tornado DDT into a sitout spinebuster but he tags Raven instead of covering.

We get our first chair but Tanaka channels his inner Samoan and no sells the shot to the head. Tanaka elbows him in the head for two and Raven is sent into the chair in the corner. Dreamer pounds away and puts Raven in the Tree of Woe for the standing on the crotch spot. Awesome uses the distraction to powerbomb Dreamer out of the corner to give Raven two. Back to Mike for a middle rope back elbow, getting another near fall.

A choke bomb gets two more on Dreamer so it’s back to Raven. Bird Boy grabs a mic and pounds it into Dreamer’s head as Raven talks trash to Tommy. Dreamer does the smart thing by kicking Raven low but the back is too hurt to tag. A bulldog gets two on Dreamer and it’s table time. Awesome misses the splash through the table and Dreamer makes the tag off to Tanaka. He cleans house on both challenges but Awesome takes him down with a release German suplex.

Everything breaks down and Judge Jeff Jones sends in two more tables. Masato loads up a superplex through the table but gets crotched on the top instead. Dreamer loads up a Death Valley Driver off the top, only to be pulled down by Raven and sent face first into the edge of the table with the drop toehold. That looked SICK.

The Awesome Splash is only good for two and the Awesome Bomb through the table gets the same thanks to a save by Tanaka. The Roaring (discus) elbow gets two on Raven and the Dreamer DDT gets the same. Awesome hits the running Awesome Bomb through the table on Dreamer, allowing Raven to get the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was actually something almost kind of resembling the tag team formula. It’s certainly not a good match but at least there was some kind of a flow to it. The booking on the other hand continues to be stupid as there’s no real reason to change the titles around like this other than to set up the three way dance. Raven vs. Dreamer and Tanaka vs. Awesome are played out, but Heyman, the GENIUS, can’t come up with anything new so this is what we’re stuck with.

Sinister Minister does his recap of the show and laughs a lot. Is there a point to this guy?

Overall Rating: D+. Well it wasn’t as bad as last week’s show but that isn’t saying much. We do at least have something set up for Sunday which is more than I was expecting to have by the end of the show. Some of the wrestling here wasn’t terrible and the less Sandman nonsense I have to sit through the better.

Here’s Living Dangerously if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2013/03/12/on-this-day-march-12-2000-living-dangerously-2000-two-ecw-shows-in-a-month-is-dangerous-enough/

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews, and pick up my new book of Complete 2001 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $4 at:

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ECW on TNN
Date: March 3, 2000
Location: The Rave, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 2,250
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

This show has to be better that last week’s. Literally, it’s not possible to produce a show worse than last week’s so soon thereafter. We still don’t have anything announced for the PPV which is in nine days. Odds are there will be a tournament of some sort for the TV Title at the show but since nothing has been announced yet, it’s hard to say. Let’s get to it.

Mike Awesome says it’s personal between him and Spike Dudley.

Theme song.

ECW World Title: Spike Dudley vs. Mike Awesome

Spike jumps Mike with a chair but goes after Judge Jeff Jones, allowing Awesome to crush Spike’s head with a chair. More chair shots to the head follow and Dudley is busted open. Mike has a table set up on the floor but Spike rakes the eyes to escape a gorilla press slam. Dudley rains down right hands in the corner but charges into an elbow to put him back down. Now Spike is launched over the top and through the table….as we go to a PPV ad.

Back with Spike bulldogging Awesome through a table off the stage and the Acid Drop gets two on the ring with Jones breaking up the pin. Awesome breaks up another Acid Drop attempt and hits a wicked release German suplex to lay Spike out. Three BIG powerbombs kill Spike but he raises his shoulder to tick Awesome off again. A table is set up in the corner and a running powerbomb through the table finally ends Spike.

Rating: D+. Ok now can we get someone other than Spike or Tanaka for Awesome to defend the title against? This pairing has been done to death and we’ve got the idea down pretty clearly already. The match was the same as it always is: Spike tries hard but gets destroyed by power in the end. Somehow this was the best match in two weeks on the show.

Masato Tanaka rants in Japanese when Dawn Marie comes in to tell him to shut up. He yells at her and the Impact Players come in to lay him out.

Joel’s limerick is cut off again.

Steve Corino is in the ring to talk about something. Erik Watts, one of the most worthless wrestlers of all time, is his opponent tonight and has a belt of some sort with him, which apparently is the old Mid-South Heavyweight Title. Sure why not. Corino talks about how the two of them are a lot alike in their old school beliefs such as hating tables and chairs. He doesn’t want to bleed for these losers in Milwaukee and the fans aren’t pleased. Corino talks about how things were in the old days and insults Dusty Rhodes a bit. Tonight it’s a Texas bullrope match to keep it old school.

Steve Corino vs. Erik Watts

It’s the four corners variety but we’re still not ready because Corino has more cheap heat jokes. He talks about how the Crusher (the Man Who Made Milwaukee Famous) was a closet homosexual and a sexual deviant (Joel: “That’s a bad thing?). The referee (future indy guy H.C. Loc) says he’s from Milwaukee and insults Corino, leading to a big beatdown from Watts, Jack Victory and Corino.

The fans chant for Dusty but Corino says he retired Dusty last week (two weeks ago sport). However, Corino wants Dusty to come out of retirement for a bullrope match because Dusty is the reason Jim Crockett went out business, the reason the WWF almost went out of business in 1989 (not really) and the man who cut the brake lines on Magnum T.A.’s car.

Super Crazy vs. Tajiri vs. Little Guido

Elimination rules. Guido is knocked to the floor to start, allowing Crazy and Tajiri to fly around the mat for a bit as only they can do. Crazy goes to the floor as Guido comes back in for a kick from Tajiri. Guido takes Tajiri down into a Fujiwara Armbar as Crazy is down from something the camera missed. Guido chops Tajiri and double teams him along with Crazy.

Tajiri comes back with a kick to Crazy’s head and goes outside with Guido. Crazy busts out an Asai Moonsault to take both guys down and lands on his feet just to show off. Big Sal misses a splash on Crazy against the barricade, allowing Crazy to dive onto the big fat guy. So it’s Crazy alone in the ring until Tajiri comes back in for the Tarantula. Guido makes the save before catching Crazy in a kind of reverse powerbomb out of the corner for two.

Tajiri’s handspring elbow is countered into a Russian legsweep from Guido, only to have Crazy take him down with a running DDT for two. Tajiri brainbusters Guido for the elimination to get us down to one on one. Crazy kicks him out to the floor but misses the Asai Moonsault, allowing Tajiri to kick him in the jaw. Back in and the handspring elbow connects on Crazy but he no sells a low dropkick to the face. Because, you know, being kicked in the face doesn’t hurt or anything. Crazy hits a jumping Tajiri low (that came out of nowhere) and a top rope Lionsault gets the pin on Tajiri.

Rating: C. See, this is what ECW needs to do more often: throw talented guys out there and let them show off. There were no weapons used in this and the fans still seemed to like it. Yeah Sal interfered but that’s minor by comparison to what usually happens on this show. The match wasn’t great or anything but it was easy to sit through and by comparison to the drek I’ve been sitting through, it was a masterpiece.

House show ads.

Cyrus complains that the three way dance was a ratings killer so he has Rhyno Gore Crazy through a locker.

We get a clip from Hardcore TV of Francine coming out to face Dreamer after Dreamer apologized for DDTing her last week. She takes a sharp turn by saying people are here to see her topless rather than to see Dreamer fighting. Dreamer isn’t good enough to survive without her because she got him over in ECW. He never did anything without her and what about Raven Tommy, what about Raven? The difference is Dreamer needs her, but Raven wants her. Dreamer tells her to get out and loads up a piledriver but Raven makes the save with the DDT.

With Dreamer down, here are the Impact Players to pick the bones. Justin superkicks him down and they load up the spike tombstone but Masato Tanaka comes out for the save…..and to start a match?

Tag Titles: Masato Tanaka/Tommy Dreamer vs. Impact Players

And it’s a title match? Sure why not. The challengers clean house to start and they head into the crowd for the brawl. Storm throws Dreamer down some stairs and dives onto his body as Credible and Tanaka fight into the concourse. Dreamer and Storm head back inside with Lance getting crotched on the top rope so Dreamer can stand on his groin.

A baseball slide sends a chair into Storm’s face but Justin interferes, allowing Storm to superkick Dreamer down for two. Here’s the required table and Dreamer counters a suplex into the Death Valley Driver through the table. Everyone is inside again and Tanaka hits a quick Diamond Dust for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. Well that happened. Seriously, that’s about all I’ve got on this one. The match was literally thrown toge…..wait a minute. Tanaka was attacked by the Players on the ECW on TNN show, but he teamed up with Dreamer on TNN, which showed a flashback to him winning the titles on Hardcore TV? The Players had the titles when they attacked Tanaka, so we had a flashback to a match that took place before the events that set it up. This show is done in a few months and it’s pretty clear why.

Overall Rating: C-. Defying the laws of time and space, this was one of the better shows they’ve had in awhile. At least they had some decent matches on this episode instead of the mindless brawling we had to sit through last week. It’s still not a good show and we still have nothing concrete for the PPV, but there’s one full show left for them to turn it all around right?

 

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