ECW on TNN
Date: January 7, 2000
Location: Westchester Country Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 2,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the go home show for Guilty As Charged with the real main event being the tag title match with the Impact Players challenging Raven and Dreamer. Unless I missed it, the world title match hasn’t been announced at this point but it’s nothing that you’re going to want to see in the first place. The next year’s edition of this PPV would be the final ECW PPV, so you can tell things are starting to fall apart for these guys. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last week with Awesome taking the title back from Tanaka. By clips I mean they air the last few minutes of the match. Spike Dudley came out post match and his female groupie got run over. Spike himself got thrown through a table.

Theme song.

We run down the PPV card.

We get a video on Shane Douglas making the ECW World Title in the famous moment after the NWA Title Tournament. He then lost it to Sandman, who lost it to Mikey Whipwreck, who lost it back to Sandman and I think you get what we’ve got here. For some reason we’re getting a history of the ECW World Title. We’re getting clips of every title change with Heyman doing commentary. This leads up (after nearly five minutes) to Spike saying that he’ll be serious against Awesome on Sunday.

It should be noted that this show has forty five minutes of footage on it and after nearly fifteen of those, we haven’t had a new match yet. The title video was cool but did we really need to see it?

PPV ad.

Hardcore Hotline ad.

Awesome and Judge Jeff Jones say they’ll crush Spike on Sunday.

Lance Storm says Justin Credible is going to beat Dreamer tonight in Dreamer’s home town.

Dupps vs. Kid Kash/Nova vs. Danny Doring/Roadkill

If the Dupps don’t talk, I’ll upgrade this match by a full letter. They would dominate the beginning months of TNA and THEY’RE FREAKING HORRIBLE. This is under elimination rules as well. The Dupps get sent into each other and Nova bulldogs both of them down. Kash headscissors Roadkill down and dives on the other four guys on the floor. Roadkill, who weighs over 300lbs, gets up on top and everyone runs. Smart guys.

Everyone comes back in and Roadkill is dumped over the top through what sounded like a table. After Doring and Kash go to the floor, Roadkill comes back with a double clothesline on the Dupps off the top rope (not out of the corner but on the middle of the ropes). One of the Dupps kicks Nova’s head off but the Dupps have some heel (I think) miscommunication and a double dropkick from Kash and Nova eliminate the Dupps.

Roadkill powerslams Nova down and Doring hits a top rope guillotine legdrop for two. Kash shoves Roadkill off the top as Doring gets another two. Kash hits a top rope rana on Doring but stops to dive on Roadkill. Nova hits a frog splash on Danny but here are Jazz and Elektra for a cat fight. Chris Chetti comes in to help Elektra up and gets slapped in the face. Roadkill holds Kash up in a wheelbarrow slam and Doring adds a guillotine legdrop to drive Kash’s face into the mat at the same time for the pin.

Rating: B. That’s the bumped up version. This was fine but I have no idea if it’s going to mean anything, as the tag titles would float around the main events for a few more months. Doring and Roadkill were a team that came out of almost nowhere and got insanely over by the end of the promotion’s run. Fun match here but the Chetti/girls stuff didn’t need to happen.

We run down the PPV card again.

House show ads. This is getting ridiculous.

Tommy Dreamer vs. Justin Credible

This is a Stairway to Hell match, which means there’s a Singapore cane above the ring and you can climb a ladder to get to it. Dreamer is crying because of his dad not being able to be here. Justin walks out before the bell so Dreamer goes out to get him. Dreamer catches him and beats up both Justin and Jason…and there’s no scheme? Was Justin really just that stupid?

We head back to ringside with Dreamer in control, only to get crotched on the barricade. A ladder is brought in with Dreamer whipping Justin back first into said ladder. Dreamer pounds away on the forehead and we head inside for the first time. Justin’s superkick is caught and Tommy puts him down with a spinebuster. Dreamer kicks Justin in the balls which seems to be shrugged off. That really is in credible.

Dreamer blocks a superplex and throws Justin onto the ladder to take over again. The ladder is placed on the bottom rope and a slingshot drives Justin face first into the rungs. Dreamer puts the ladder on the middle rope but a superplex attempt is countered by a good old fashioned crotching. Justin drop toeholds Dreamer face first on a chair for two. Credible puts the ladder in the corner and rides it down onto Dreamer for another two.

Dreamer counters a whip to send Justin into a ladder in the corner and out to the floor. Back in and ANOTHER low blow puts Dreamer down. Justin goes up on the corner for no apparent reason and gets dropped from Tommy’s shoulders onto the ladder in the other corner. Dreamer puts him down in the corner and drives a ladder into Justin’s balls with a chair shot.

Tommy goes up and gets the cane (yeah remember this is a kind of ladder match) but Jason kicks Tommy in the head. Francine takes Jason out and there’s a Bronco Buster for the annoying manager. Dreamer saves Francine from a tombstone (called That’s Incredible) but Lance Storm comes in to break up the piledriver on Justin. Raven crotches (what is up with that spot being in this match so much?) Storm and now it’s a cat fight between Dawn and Francine. Dreamer loads up a piledriver on Dawn but Justin hits him with the cane a few times and tombstones him for the pin.

Rating: D. You hear the term “a spot fest” thrown around a lot but that’s exactly what this was. There was nothing between all of the spots in here and most of them weren’t even that good in the first place. On top of that, the match was WAY too overbooked. Then again, that’s ECW in a nutshell for you.

Rhyno is ready to destroy Sandman.

We run down the PPV card again to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. Between taking FOREVER to get to the wrestling, the constant talk about the PPV without explaining why we should care about most of those matches and the bad wrestling, this show pretty much sucked. They’ve had worse episodes of this series, but man this just wasn’t that good at all, even by ECW standards. They pushed the main events decently I guess, but they didn’t do a good job at all with anything else.

Here’s Guilty As Charged if you’re interested:

www.kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/10/29/guilty-as-charged-2000-spike-dudleys-shot-at-glory/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Guilty As Charged 2000
Date: January 9, 2000
Location: Boutwell Memorial Auditorium, Birmingham, Alabama
Attendance: 4,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Cyrus

To show you where this company was at this point, Spike Dudley is in the main event fighting Mike Awesome for the world title. What does that tell you? The company was on life support at this point with WWF beating the heck out of everyone and WCW just generally sucking. Other than that we have the Impact Players vs. Dreamer and Raven. That’s about it. Oh and RVD vs. Sabu in what I’m sure will be forgettable. Let’s get to it.

ECW’s video game is the sponsor, resulting in a massive logo on the mat. That could get annoying. Joey points out that Cyrus’ headset isn’t plugged into anything. So that’s where Otunga got the idea from. Gertner of course shows up for like the 9th PPV in a row. He makes sex jokes, Joey asks if that’s all he’s there for, Joel says he made his joke, got a pop, is more over than Cyrus, is getting laid later, and has already gotten paid. Was there a point in this at all?

Theme song.

CW Anderson vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Anderson is allegedly Arn’s son or nephew or whatever. It’s an easy way to get a guy over. Heck Ricky Steamboat got his name by pretending to be the son of a local guy named Sam Steamboat so this is fine. He’s also the enforcer of the new Dangerous Alliance with Lou E. Dangerously. It more or less sucked but it was a midcard stable so I can’t complain about that much.

And now Lou wants to talk. Ok his imitation is pretty good. Whipwreck fights off a double team and hits a nice spot where he grabs Anderson in a wheelbarrow and slams his ribs onto the railing. I love that. Anderson works on the arm like a true Anderson would so at least the mythology for lack of a better term is there. Mikey hits a NICE clothesline off the top.

When I say nice I mean it didn’t look that professional, but it looked realistic which a lot of the time is the most important to me. I’d rather have it look like a normal person executing a move than looking well trained and choreographed etc, but that’s just me. Mikey hits the Whippersnapper but the referee gets pulled out. A cell phone shot sets up the Anderson Spinebuster for the pin.

Rating: C+. This felt like a TV match but it came off pretty well. If nothing else it gives the stable a credible win and Mikey was great at getting the crowd into his matches. While not the best match in the world, this was decent enough as an opener.

Joey and Cyrus talk for a bit and you can tell they get along well behind the scenes.

Simon Diamond/Roadkill/Danny Doring vs. Nova/Jazz/Kid Kash

Simon and his valet get and likely deserve gay jokes that are made about them. Elektra, Doring and Roadkill’s manager was always one of my favorites. This was a midcard feud that went on forever and never really went anywhere. Kid Kash was based on Kid Rock. Yeah that’s not dated at all.

Oddly enough though, Rock wound up at a Mania and I don’t think Kash ever did. That’s very amusing. They say Mitch is like Conan O’Brien but with a worse haircut. Elektra does the Pec Dance. Oh dear. Jazz still gets no reaction. When Kid Kash gets a better reaction than you, you’re in trouble. Hey we’re actually starting! We’re getting wrestling in ECW! I don’t believe it! Ok that’s not fair.

Jazz and Doring start us off and Not Chyna is in trouble. Aww I wanted to see Roadkill vs. Jazz. Roadkill is a guy that is better than he’s made out to be I think. ECW’s camerawork is just atrocious. It’s all over the place and they miss SO much. Jazz hits the X Factor, her finisher, and when I say hits I mean his head never actually hits the mat, but Dick Hertz is back to do nothing at all.

I hate the lack of pads. There’s a difference between tough and stupid and dives onto concrete are stupid. So Jazz, Diamond and Kash are gone so it’s the future tag champions vs. Nova. Nova hits a DDT that they say will be on TV tomorrow night. That would imply someone is watching this show so he’s safe. This is one sided obviously since it’s 2-1.

In a funny spot Doring goes into Nova’s corner and pretends to be his partner and punches him when he reaches for a tag. Chris Chetti who is still injured at this point comes down to be the partner. He even hits a pescado and takes out the fat man. And now everybody dives over the top. Nova does it, Doring does it, the referee does it. Seriously it’s ECW did you expect anything else?

Doring and Nova fight on the top rope and Nova just falls to the floor. No mats remember. That’s such a scary bump. A top rope splash from Roadkill ends it. Post match two guys named the Dupps come out and beat up everyone until Nova and Doring make the save.

Rating: D+. Not bad but of course it’s a massive mess. These guys feuded forever and this is just another chapter in it. I don’t think they ever went past this spot on the card but you got two decent teams out of it. Not bad but not great.

Mike Awesome and his manager cut an interview that I can barely hear because of the crowd cheering for Elektra in the ring. Oh it’s about Spike.

Spike cuts probably the best promo of his career, “breaking character” saying he’s going to hurt Mike Awesome tonight and yelling at a production guy who tells him to stay in character. He says he’s not an actor and drops a lot of F bombs. Better than it sounds.

Yoshihiro Tajiri/???vs. Super Crazy/???

This is a dream partner tag match and allegedly Jerry Lynn and Tajiri are working together and Lynn will be the partner of Tajiri. Steve Corino is here with Tajiri and is starting to look like his familiar self, mainly due to his beard. He talks to the audience before the match and they HATE him. Corino picks Crazy as Tajiri’s partner, and here’s Little Guido for no apparent reason.

He’s mad at Corino (take a number) for not picking him. IT’S THE BOSS! Heyman makes a rare appearance and is more over than anyone else likely is. We get about our 9th F Bomb in less than an hour. Guido has a partner (he was in the match?) tonight (make that ten) and it’s Jerry Lynn. Heyman censors New F’ing Show. Why? Whatever, at least it’s almost over.

Yoshihiro Tajiri/Super Crazy vs. Jerry Lynn/Little Guido

It’s like they wanted to do a four way dance and they just forgot how to book it. So Tajiri and Crazy were going to pick their own dream tag partners and Guido is mad that Corino didn’t pick him to be Tajiri’s partner so Heyman inserted him and Lynn together into a team together to fight Tajiri and Crazy as Tajiri picked him opponent as his partner. No explanation given as to why he did that but whatever.

We get some nice technical stuff to start us out so I’m happy. This was more or less the Cruiserweight division as they kept having meaningless matches that ran together really badly, but to be fair there are two TV Champions and a World Champion in this. This is more or less all of them doing all of their stiff strikes on each other. I can work with that.

What would an ECW show be without a fairly solid botch? Let’s break out those high spots people! We’re into the crowd already and we can’t see ANYTHING. Tajiri vs. Lynn in the ring as Crazy does his big moonsault. Both Crazy and Tajiri do the ten punches in the corner and both take powerbombs out of it. For two guys like Lynn and Guido that don’t team together they sure think alike don’t they?

A double powerbomb can’t beat Lynn. Now remember, this is the same Lynn that was never put over RVD (to this point). So they’re saying that RVD could take this much and do better? Lynn never got pushed like he could have. With him being fairly conservative with the hardcore stuff he would have been far better than Corino for the anti-hardcore stuff.

Anyway, the partners finally turn on each other and Tajiri hits a brainbuster on Lynn to end it. Post match, Corino and his boys come out and beat up Lynn and Corino runs down Dusty Rhodes for no apparent reason.

Dusty is here of course, despite being everything ECW was supposed to not be about, as he is the epitome of old school and old mentality of booking but with them this close to death I guess it’s whatever. Rhyno beats him up and the majority of the roster comes down to save him. To be fair, he got an eruption so maybe they’re onto something.

Rating: D. The match was decent, but what in the world were they going for here? Whatever it was they didn’t get it. This just didn’t do it at all for me as I have no clue what they were trying to accomplish. It was confusing and no one really got it I don’t think, plus it somehow sets up the manager vs. Dusty Rhodes? What the heck?

New Jack talks about being ticked off at Da Baldies and having a staple in him. Well they were loyal to him. I have to give them that.

Ad for their TV shows and live events. It’s sponsored by their video game. That really was a fairly big deal. It pretty much sucked, but it was a nice accomplishment I guess.

Angel vs. New Jack

This is for King of the Streets, which is just a name I guess. The other two Baldies are with Angel. So we have a black man beating up a Latino in the Deep South. Yeah this isn’t going to go bad at all. Oh an it’s the song too. Can’t you tell how thrilled I am by that? I wonder how much they spent on his toys over the years.

New Jack “drops” an “elbow” from the top “onto” Angel. This is just not that interesting at all as it’s just New Jack beating him up with weapons. It’s limited to this match so far though so I can’t complain that much. If they keep it isolated I can live with it. Grimes and DeVito, the other Baldies are beating him up now.

So we’re on the floor in the middle of the crowd now with New Jack fighting some other guy. Jack dives out of the balcony and while it’s a big jump, it’s been done. That’s how I would sum up New Jack’s issues: we’ve seen it all before and it just loses its specialness. Angel remembers he’s in this match and comes to beat Jack up. At least Angel’s selling is funny. A shovel to New Jack’s head ends it.

Rating: D-. Like I said, we’ve seen this all before. What is the point of seeing it all over again? We get it: New Jack is a street fighter and Angel can beat him. What’s the point to it? I just don’t get it.

Alfonso goes into Van Dam’s dressing room and says it smells great in there but we need to air it out a bit. He’s stoned about out of his mind but whatever. Seriously is there any reason at all why he never got the world title? RVD says he’s beaten everyone with Fonzie saying he’s not Sabu.

Fonzie says he’s behind Van Dam 100%. And then we go down the hall to talk to Sabu and Fonzie. Fonzie cuts a promo talking about how Sabu is going to win. That’s a funny idea actually but it sets up the match quite well. If Sabu doesn’t win he leaves apparently.

ECW TV Title: Sabu vs. Rob Van Dam

Ok, this actually is a big match. I’ll give them that. RVD’s wife is here after having a bad Jetski accident. She’s ever pretty actually. Joey says it’ll be a classic. I doubt that but maybe. We’re on the floor already and Fonzie is the most interesting thing here as he’s saying he’ll be the winner no matter what. That’s brilliant actually. We break out the high spots and Cyrus calls the fans troglodytes.

Sabu is of course sloppy but this time it’s not as bad. He’s not blowing basic spots which helps a lot. Fonzie set up a table earlier on and there it goes. Sabu gets hurt putting Van Dam through it as it’s just been a fight so far. He calls for some athletic tape for his knee as it’s in trouble.

This is still a big crazy fight, but it’s far less annoying here as instead of just mindless violence and making it look silly, this takes the weapons and violence and puts them in as parts of a wrestling match. The Triple Jump Moonsault hits but there’s no referee. Van Dam kicks out of a legdrop version.

Fonzie tries to wake up the referee but not really, which is nice again as he’s unsure if he wants to go with Sabu but he kind of does. Van Dam sets for the Van Daminator but fakes Sabu out and counters his counter to hit it. That was nice. They screw up a hurricanrana as Van Dam doesn’t go down.

That might have been intentional so I can give them that. Fonzie is in the ring with a chair but can’t decide who to give it to so Van Dam hits him with a Van Daminator. SWEET. After blocking a springboard splash, Van Dam hits the Five Star to retain. Post match Sabu leaves the out cold Alfonso laying there.

Rating: B-. I liked it. I have no idea why but I liked it. I think it was the Fonzie thing but this came off as decent to me. I have no desire to watch them fight again, but for a one time thing I liked it. By far the best Sabu match I can remember but not one of Rob’s best. Still this is a major match so that’s good.

The Impact Players say they’ll win the belts because they’re better.

Cyrus and Joey say Sandman/Rhyno won’t happen because Sandman had to take care of a family emergency. I like that. It sucks that a match had to be canceled, but at least be honest about it. I like that as it’s something different.

Tag Titles: Impact Players vs. Raven/Tommy Dreamer

The Players come out separately for no apparent reason. To be fair the champions do too. Apparently the Impact Players are trying to take over the company so Dreamer and Raven are fighting for ECW. Sure why not. Raven is RIDICULOUSLY over. They can’t get in the ring as the Impact Players (I feel like I’m doing OCW again) fight them off.

We hit the floor because that makes sense to give up your advantage like that. The champions throw the other guys off the stage as they’re working together. Hey we go to an actual tag sequence. I’m stunned. Ok to be fair ECW matches usually do go to rules after the insanity dies down. Dreamer is both busted up and in trouble as we HIT THE CHINLOCK!

It’s fun seeing these guys actually wrestle for a change rather than just having mindless brawls. If nothing else we get to look at some rather hot women during this with Francine and Dawn Marie. Storm misses the second best superkick in wrestling and Dreamer gets the hot tag. Well kind of as he hits the hand but no one calls it. The referee realizes they kind of blew the spot and just lets it go I guess.

Raven hits his drop toehold. I’ve always liked how simple yet awesome that was. And there’s the Tombstone but surprisingly it only gets two. I would have bet on that being the ending. Storm sets up a table and then like an IDIOT stands in front of it. As he goes through it, the only thing I can think of is YOU FREAKING DESERVE IT.

The girls go at it and it’s nothing special. There’s your Bronco Buster which still is freaking stupid. Raven takes a Singapore cane shot for Francine but walks into That’s Incredible for the pin.

Rating: C-. Give this more wrestling and a bit more time and this can be pretty good. This was just too short on wrestling and too little Raven who is the best guy in here not named Storm. This was a decent enough match though but it just needed more time to make it a good bit better.

We go outside to the parking lot to talk to Corino and company who say they’re proud of beating up Rhodes. Rhyno tells the guy to shut the F up. THAT is the first moment from ECW that I ever remember. Rhyno wants an ECW Title shot. He would get it and be the last champion of the company.

Cyrus is REALLY happy about the Impact Players getting the belts.

We go to the recap of Spike vs. Awesome which is because Spike’s girlfriend took a clothesline and knocked her teeth out.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley

This should be going on in the spot of the TV Title match and the TV Title match should come on last. Spike has lost a lot of that ANGER from an hour and a half ago. He starts setting up tables before Mike is even here. Oh well we get to listen to some more AC/DC so I can’t complain. He sets up FIVE tables including two on top of each other before getting into the ring with a microphone.

He talks about how he makes his living getting put through tables. Ok thanks for admitting you’re a glorified jobber getting a title shot at a PPV. Why was Awesome managed by a “judge?” That never made much sense to me but whatever. Spike goes through a table less than 15 seconds in. Ok then let’s go home now as this is rather pointless. There go two more.

We’re MAYBE a minute and a half in and Spike has done nothing at all other than a few punches. Them calling the split screen replay Double Vision is funny. Spike is in the crowd and Awesome dives over the railing to knock him back down. Joey wants the match stopped but then cheers when he kicks out of a splash. Is this supposed to make sense?

Oh that’s right it’s Spike Dudley in the main event of a PPV. Of course it’s not supposed to make sense. Awesome Bomb is blocked and Spike jumps at Awesome and hits something close to an Acid Drop on the guard rail. Spike might have hurt his leg. Wow I wonder how he could have done that. Spike hits a hurricanrana which Awesome (rightfully) no sells and then kills Spike with a clothesline for two.

Spike hits the one move that I’ve never been able to understand how it can be done safely: a double stomp from the top rope. In an INSANE spot, Spike gets on the top rope and hits a springboard clothesline from the ring to the front row. That was impressive and Joey/Cyrus make fun of Hogan for doing such limited stuff.

That’s rather amusing as Awesome is actually Hogan’s nephew or something close to that. Spike hits an Acid Drop from the apron to the floor through a table and chokes Awesome out with a cord to take over. Joey shouting AWESOME IS DEAD over and over after a big chair shot is rather creepy.

Spike is thrown through a table and is more or less out cold. Spike then further proves his idiocy by going up when Awesome is on the top rope in front of a table. Of course he goes through it for the pin. He deserved that for general stupidity.

Rating: D-. The problem here is simple: the credibility just wasn’t there at all. Spike is still his size and Awesome is his size. That’s why this didn’t work very well. We get it: Spike can do moves to big guys, but chair shots and a Diamond Cutter from the ropes isn’t enough to make this believable. They tried….kind of, but this just didn’t work that well at all.

OverallRating: D+. It’s by no means the worst ECW show ever, but seriously, what happened here? Van Dam keeps the belt again, Awesome dominates again, the dream partner match made no sense. Oh right the Players won the belts. Guess what they do at the next PPV.

They win the belts since they lose them in a few weeks. Anyway, this wasn’t horrible I guess, but that’s not saying much. Just a very lackluster show and you can clearly see the things just getting ready to come crashing down.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Born To Be Wired
Date: August 9, 1997
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentator: Joey Styles

This isn’t a PPV but it’s the next big show after Barely Legal. We have a main event of Terry Funk defending the world title against Sabu in a pretty famous barbed wire match. On top of that there isn’t anything of note on the card but then again it’s ECW so a lot of the card was probably announced an hour before the bell. Let’s get to it.

Little Guido vs. Pablo Marquez

No intro here and we jump right into the match. This is the home video version so I have no idea what’s going to be cut and what isn’t. Guido is part of the FBI and Marquez is a guy from Ecuador. Before the match, fellow FBI guy Tommy Rich, says that Guido is an F’n Beautiful Intelligent man. Thanks for that Tommy. The fans chant homosexual insults at Guido and the camera work is awful as it can barely stay on the guys.

Marquez ranas Guido to the floor and there’s a big suicide dive. Back in and Pablo springboards into a clothesline for two as Guido takes over. I forgot how annoying I found Joey’s commentary with how much he says exactly what’s going on in the match and offers nothing more. Marquez gets sent to the apron and hits a springboard missile dropkick for two. A suplex gets the same for Guido and Marquez hits a Russian legsweep for two.

Guido works on the leg (notice how fast this is changing momentum) but Marquez comes back with a sunset flip and clothesline for no cover. Marquez sends him to the floor and botches a dive, resulting in him just grazing Guido with his feet. Back in and Pablo dives on the FBI, resulting in Rich hitting him in the back with a flag for the pin by Guido.

Rating: C-. This was your usual fast paced opener but it was a total spotfest with the lack of selling driving me crazy as usual. Marquez was around for awhile in ECW and he didn’t ever get much higher on the card than this. Guido and the FBI would stick around for years, all the way up to the end of the company. The idea of the opener here was fine but the execution didn’t work at all.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Louie Spicolli

Since this is the home video, they cut from the end of one match to the start of another which is a nice perk. Louie slams him around a few times and they stand around a lot. Mikey speeds things up a bit and slams Louie so much that Louie crotches himself on the post. A Stunner, the move which Mikey kind of might have invented, drops Mikey here and Louie takes over. The fans swear at Spicolli like they did to Guido early but that’s normal for them.

An enziguri takes Mikey down for two and it’s off to the chinlock. This is already in the same problematic area that a lot of ECW shows get into: There’s no story to it (at least that we’re told) so it’s just a match for the sake of having a match. That’s fine when you have guys that can tear the house down, but Mikey Whipwreck vs. Louie Spicolli isn’t exactly Austin vs. Rock you know?

Mikey comes back with a rana but the second is countered into a powerbomb for two. Spicolli misses a Swanton and Mikey speeds things up, only to get sent to the floor. Mikey whips Louie into the barricade and hits a HUGE dive from inside, crashing his legs into the railing in the process. Back inside and a top rope rana gets the pin for Whipwreck.

Rating: C. Better than the opener because Mikey is a lot better than Guido or Marquez. Louie is a guy who was just kind of around for awhile and then he wasn’t anymore. He left for WCW in a month or so. Then he died in February due to a drug overdose. The match was nothing of note for the most part and it might have been Spicolli’s last ECW match.

Spike Dudley vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

This is before the Giant Killer phase for Spike. Spike beats up a chair before the match due to reasons of drugs. We’re eight days from Hardcore Heaven and we’re told that we’ll learn Bigelow’s opponent later in the hour. Bigelow asks the fans what section he should throw Spike into. Spike grabs a leg which gets him nowhere at all. Well scratch that as it gets him launched halfway across the ring and through the air.

Bigelow picks Spike up again and teases the fans about throwing him into the crowd but just drops him down instead. A BIG suplex puts Spike down and Dudley sells like only he can. The guy can’t do much because of his size but he’s great at looking like a rag doll. Spike gets posted and he’s busted open. Bigelow splashes him in the corner but the moonsault misses. Spike fires away with a bunch of forearms which finally drop Bigelow for two. The Acid Drop is blocked as Bigelow launches Spike to the mat. Spike hits Bigelow low and hooks a victory roll for the shocking upset.

Rating: D+. This is Heyman 101: when a guy is a huge underdog, he’ll get slaughtered for almost all of the match and then hit one move out of nowhere for the pin. Watch ECW and see how many times you get that exact ending. Spike would wind up as a kind of a cult favorite (inside the cult that was ECW) and he would be the opponent at Hardcore Heaven, where Bigelow MASSACRED him.

Chris Candido vs. Chris Chetti

Blast it now I can’t use two names for each guy. Chetti is billed as The Rookie here, which he would be for like two years. Feeling out process to start with Candido taking him down in a rollup for two. Chetti hits some armdrags into an armbar to take over as things slow down a bit. Candido comes back with rapid fire punches to take over in the corner but Chetti fires right back with some of his own.

Chetti hits a cross body out of the corner for two as again there’s no story to this match at all. Back to the armbar (Candido: “HE’S TRYING TO KILL ME!!!”) as things slow down again. Candido hooks a rana to put both guys on the floor and Chetti gets posted. Back in and Candido hits a middle rope legdrop for two. Off to a chinlock which is one of the last things they should have done here.

The fans want Taz who was feuding with Candido at this point and would have a great match with him at the PPV. Candido suplexes him down and does Taz’s pose. A top rope sunset flip gets two for Candido and it’s back to the chinlock. Candido spits at him and they slug it out, won by the non-rookie.

Chetti hits a German suplex for two and a dropkick takes Candido down. Chetti powerslams him down but doesn’t cover, instead misses a flipping legdrop off the top. Candido goes up and gets crotched, resulting in a superplex for two for Chetti. Cnadido powerbombs him down and a double underhook superplex pins the Rookie.

Rating: C+. Another match with no story to it and in this case there was even less of a doubt as to who was going to win given how Joey kept hyping up Taz vs. Candido at the PPV. Chetti was doing fine here but he was in over his head with Candido, who was one of the top guys ECW had.

Here’s Shane Douglas to run his mouth about Terry Funk and wanting the world title. If Funk survives tonight, Shane gets the title match at Hardcore Heaven. If Sabu wins, Shane wants a title match at Hardcore Heaven. Shane talks about how a few years ago they got ECW noticed with a match called the Extreme Three Way Dance, so how about a rematch for the title at the PPV? I always found the original overrated. It just wasn’t nearly what they made it out to be.

Lance Storm vs. Shane Douglas

Gee I wonder who’s going to win. Storm has a tiny blonde ponytail at this point. Shane is the leader of the Triple Threat and at some point Storm wanted to be a member but only made it to the prospect level. Feeling out process to start with Storm taking Shane to the mat by the arm. Storm chops away and it’s back to the arm. A superkick puts Douglas down and a botched Francine distraction allows Lance to get a rollup for two.

Shane hot shots Storm and stomps away in the corner. With Storm seated in the corner, Douglas baseball slides him into the crotch. Off to a camel clutch by Shane to taunt Sabu. Francine throws in some chairs and Storm gets suplexed down onto an open one for two. Douglas gets backdropped to the floor and crotched on the barricade.

Back in and a springboard cross body gets two for Storm as does an enziguri. A few rollups get a few near falls for both guys and Storm speeds things up. Storm misses a guillotine legdrop but counters the belly to belly into a DDT. The second attempt at the suplex hits for Shane and gets the pin.

Rating: C+. As is usually the case with ECW, the matches have more of a point and get better as the show goes on. The problem with that is that the first forty minutes or so are usually really dull and they don’t really make you want to stick around for the rest of the show. Oh and one more time: Joey needs to stop just saying the moves. It adds very little to the match at all.

TV Title: Taz vs. Al Snow

Snow is challenging and is on the verge of the push of a lifetime which would result in Heyman completely screwing up and not putting the world title on him because Shane Douglas must be champion forever in ECW. Snow rips into the fans for saying that he’s not Leif Cassidy (role he played in WWE) but Al Snow. The fans want Taz to murder Snow which is the norm for them most of the time.

After a long stall Taz takes it to the mat to take over. The fans want Snow’s neck broken. The champ cranks on the arm and does it again after Snow escapes. Snow tries to fight up and gets caught in an ankle hold. This is all mat stuff so far and it’s pretty good as well. After Snow bails to the floor he comes back in and is immediately caught in an Alabama Slam but he hits a kind of enziguri to the face of the champ to take over.

A suplex puts Taz down and the fans are still all over Snow. Taz is like screw this wrestling stuff and takes Snow down to pound away, but Snow rakes the eyes. Now Taz is like screw this brawling stuff and suplexes Snow down. Snow slams him down and fires off some kicks but gets pounded in the face for his efforts. Taz comes back with a German suplex but walks into a suplex from Snow. That gets no sold and it’s the Tazmission to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This never quite clicked as they were didn’t seem quite sure what they were going for as Taz kept switching from wrestling to brawling. Maybe that’s what they were going for but it didn’t quite work. Snow as a guy completely hated by the fans because he used to be in the WWF worked fine and it worked even better when he turned into the psycho head shaking guy. Not terrible here but it was your usual Taz match from this time period. The mat stuff was good though.

The Dudleys are in the ring and it’s time for their long intro. We have D-Von, Bubba, (the two in the match) Big Dick, Sign Guy and Joel Gertner. Joel talks about possession being 9/10 of the law but I can’t quite understand him. The Dudleys are tag team champions. This is one of the funniest parts of the show and always has been. Bubba is Dudleyville’s most eligible bachelor.

Dudley Boys vs. Axl Rotten/Balls Mahoney

Mahoney has short hair here. I think this is non-title. That would be the case because the Gangstas are tag champions but the Dudleys have stolen the belts. If the Gangstas can’t defend them on Sunday, the Dudleys get them anyway. The Dudleys take a walk before the bell but then come back to fight. Ok then. It’s Bubba vs. Axl to start but it’s off to D-Von before anything happens. Axl and D-Von used to be tag partners so there’s a history there.

Big Dick trips up Axl to start the match with a little cheating. Off to Balls to crank on the arm a bit but he gets punched in the corner for his efforts. Big Dick interferes again and we stall a bit. D-Von charges at Balls and gets punched in the face. Dick low bridges Mahoney and the Dudleys take over again. Axl whispers something to Balls and they walk to the back. The fans chant for New Jack but they get the returning Hack Meyers instead and it’s a six man tag now.

Meyers pounds on Big Dick in the corner with the non-Dudleys taking over. All three guys pound on Dick (with the fans chanting AXL! BALLS! SHAH!) which finally knock him to the floor. It’s a brawl with no wrestling at all which is what you would expect from this. Axl cracks D-Von with a chair and they head into the crowd. Make that into the back of the arena. Now make that back to ringside. D-Von cracks Axl with a chair, bringing the sequence full circle.

We haven’t looked at the other four guys for awhile but here are Bubba and Balls again. Back in the ring Balls hits a sitout tombstone on D-Von followed by a guillotine legdrop for a delayed two count. Axl cracks Bubba with a chair (Joey: “BINGO!”) and Meyers heads back inside. Meyers rolls up D-Von for two as Balls cracks Dick with a chair on the floor. The Dick grabs the Balls and chokeslams him through a table and it’s a 3D to Meyers for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a big brawling mess but it was what the fans wanted to see. The six man part only lasted about four minutes but that was what the fans were the most excited for. Meyers was a guy who was basically just a brawler but he was insanely popular with the fans. The Dudleys would do whatever they wanted for about two more years before bailing to the WWF.

Rob Van Dam vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer was in the middle of a major feud with the invading Jerry Lawler while Van Dam was wrestling like a WWF wrestler to make him one of the most hated people in the company. Van Dam does the finger point so Dreamer grabs his ponytail and hooks a headlock. Van Dam will have none of that and kicks Dreamer down. The splits are broken up by a Dreamer dropkick to the back of the head and a clothesline to send Rob to the floor. There’s a plancha and Van Dam is in trouble.

A fan throws Dreamer a no parking sign and Van Dam gets whacked in the head. Then he gets whacked in the head again but off the apron this time. Back in and Van Dam gets two off a sunset flip and kicks Dreamer right back to the floor. Rob hits (I think he did at least as the contact wasn’t shown and Dreamer was a few feet away when they were both laying on the ground) a big flipping dive and Dreamer is in trouble.

Rob crotches him on the barricade and with the help of Fonzie we get a modified Van Daminator to rattle Dreamer’s skull a bit more. Back in again and Van Dam dropkicks a chair into Dreamer’s face and then skateboards the chair into Dreamer’s face in the corner. Rob’s offense is a bit repetitive no? There’s the Five Star and we’re…..not done? No we’re not as it only gets two. That’s a new one.

Van Dam slams Dreamer down on the chair but misses a split legged moonsault, crashing into the chair instead. Tommy hits a kind of Van Daminator and loads Rob into the Tree of Woe. After the baseball slide into the chair, Dreamer hits a frog splash of his own. Beulah and Fonzie get in a fight, although it’s not the famous one that they had which everyone raves about. Due to the distraction, Van Dam hits a Van Daminator but Dreamer pops up and DDTs Rob. Sabu pops up for no apparent reason and another Van Daminator (this one with a trashcan) and a corkscrew legdrop onto the can onto Dreamer gets the pin.

Rating: C. I wasn’t wild on this but it wasn’t terrible. Van Dam wrestling a WWF style didn’t come through here at all as it looked like any of his usual matches in ECW. Also I don’t get the idea of pinning the hero that is going to be fighting off the invading villain in a week but Heyman’s booking never quite made sense.

Post match here’s the Triple Threat (Bigelow, Douglas and Candido) to destroy Van Dam and Sabu. Why? Because it’s what the Triple Threat does. Dreamer is getting beaten down too and a bunch of jobbers come in to try to break up the fights but it turns into a big brawl. The Dudleys are in there now too and they clear the ring other than Dreamer. Mahoney and Rotten run in with weapons to clean house.

Big Dick rises up and destroys them……and here are the Gangstanators (Kronus and New Jack). They get chokeslammed down immediately and it’s crippled Perry Saturn for the real save as the Eliminators and New Jack finally beat up the Dudleys. Dreamer, Rotten and Mahoney get back up and eventually it’s Gertner that gets destroyed. The Gangstas (New Jack and Mustafa, the latter of which isn’t here tonight) wouldn’t fight the Dudleys at the PPV and it would be the Dudleys vs. PG-13, a Memphis tag team. This beating goes on for a long while.

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Sabu is challenging and this is a barbed wire match, which means the ropes have been replaced by barbed wire. Terry heads to the corner to start but Sabu dropkicks the knee out and we head to the mat. Funk tries to throw him into the wire but Sabu puts the brakes on. Sabu does the same as Terry but Terry rolls to the floor to escape. Back in and Sabu puts on a quick camel clutch which goes nowhere.

Funk hits a neckbreaker and a scary looking piledriver for two. They both try to ram the other into the wire and it’s Sabu getting the advantage, but Terry gets his hands up and avoids the pain. Sabu hurricanranas Terry down for two but Funk kicks him off and into the wire for the first gasp from the crowd. Terry rakes Sabu’s eyes into the barbed wire which is pretty sick stuff.

An Irish whip sends the challenger into the wire again and Funk crotches him on it for good measure. Sabu’s tights are ripped up and man are his legs skinny. After some more pain for the guy from Bombay, he sends Terry into the corner and the wire as a result, followed by a chair shot. Funk’s face gets sent into the barbed wire and Sabu finds a spike from somewhere to pound into Funk’s head. This is getting violent in a hurry.

With Funk up against the wire, Sabu hits Air Sabu to drive him further into said wire for two. Air Sabu (it’s a running diving leg attack using a chair as a springboard) misses on its second attempt and Sabu is hung up in the wire. In a famous spot, Sabu’s bicep is sliced open and things slow WAY down. The solution to the cut? Fonzie brings in a roll of tape and tapes the GAPING WOUND closed to keep the match going.

A neckbreaker puts Sabu down but Terry can’t follow up. Sabu goes NUTS and starts pounding on Funk but Terry just punches him in the face to take over again. They both head to the floor and slug it out but are quickly back inside so Funk can put on the spinning toe hold. Fonzie (Sabu’s manager in case you’re not familiar with ECW, which makes me wonder why you’re reading this) tries to interfere but gets pulled across the wire as well.

Funk slices open Fonzie’s shirt and cuts his back with it. The champ gets some wire cutters from somewhere and clips some wire off, which he whips Sabu with to slow him down even more. Fonzie gets beaten up some more and it’s back inside for more brawling. Sabu cuts more of the wire down and here’s RVD to pound on Funk. He takes Terry to the floor and wraps him in barbed wire so Sabu can drive Terry through a table.

Now Dreamer comes out to take out Van Dam (literally) and the guys in the match head back inside. Sabu pulls off a big section of wire and wraps himself in it before diving through Funk through a table. To complete this mess, they’re stuck together because Funk was wrapped in wire as well so they get back in the ring in a big ball and Sabu gets two. They’re still stuck together and since there’s nothing else they can do, Sabu shoves Terry’s shoulder back down and gets the pin and the title.

Rating: D-. To the shock of no one who is paying attention, this was a major mess. It was a total freakshow and the ending made it even worse as they couldn’t even do the right ending because they got stuck. Also this would wind up meaning NOTHING as Douglas got the title a week later because in ECW, Shane Douglas MUST be world champion. Just a mess here and it had almost absolutely nothing to do with wrestling.

Overall Rating: D+. Much like most ECW shows, most of this didn’t mean much and was there to fill in time. The main event is a mess and like I said, this means nothing as we’re a week from the second PPV so this whole thing is more or less a big house show before the real show. This isn’t the worst ECW show ever, but man alive it wasn’t much to see. It’s more dull than bad though, and that’s an upgrade for these guys.

Here’s Hardcore Heaven if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2010/12/26/hardcore-heaven-1997/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 31, 1999
Location: Westchester County Center, White Plains, New York
Attendance: 2,800
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s not often I get to say this but we close out the millennium with this. The main attraction tonight is Tanaka vs. Awesome in a rematch from last week for the title with Tanaka defending tonight. Other than that, we get to continue the seemingly never ending feud between Raven/Dreamer and the Impact Players. Let’s get to it.

The Impact Players (clearly in the same spot and clothes they were in last week) talk about how the savior needs to be reborn by January 9. We get a recap of the end of last week’s show.

Raven talks about being crucified for the sins of his past.

Theme song.

After Joey and Joel do their thing, here’s Mikey Whipwreck to open the show. This is his return to the company after being in WCW for a year. Before he can say anything, here are the Impact Players with something to say. The Players have a lot of money to give to Mikey if he’ll take somebody out, with the logic of he sold out once so why not again? The target is Raven so here’s Bird Boy.

Raven vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Mikey charges at Raven and hits a dropkick to the ribs before stomping away in the corner. A slingshot legdrop to the back of Raven’s head has Bird Boy in early trouble so Mikey goes to the floor. He grabs the mic and says he’s 26 and lives at home but he’s NOT a baby. Mikey puts Raven on a table and drops an elbow to drive him through said table as Raven is in trouble. There’s a big chair shot to the back and a Russian legsweep to send Raven’s back into the barricade.

That gets two in the ring as does a small package. Raven tries a backslide out of nowhere for two but Mikey kicks his head off with a dropkick for two. The drop toehold puts Mikey’s face into the chair but Raven is so spent that Mikey gets two before Raven can move. Raven gets all fired up and rubs a snot rag in Mikey’s face before hitting the DDT for the pin.

Rating: C. This is ECW style but it was an actual coherent match which is more than you can say for the vast majority of their stuff. Mikey is a guy that did a lot of stuff for the company back in the day but he never amounted to anything elsewhere. Raven getting to wrestle a match is very much a rarity anymore so it was a nice surprise.

Raven gets caught by a superkick to put him down post match and it’s a double beating from the Players until Dreamer runs out with a chair. Not that we see this as we’re seeing highlights from Tanaka vs. Awesome from last week.

Francine says Raven needs more help but Dreamer doesn’t care.

Tanaka is warming up.

Awesome is ready.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

This should be good. A quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker takes Tajiri down but he comes back with the handspring elbow and things speed up. No one is interested in selling here and we wind up at a standoff. Tajiri drops to the floor, seemingly just so Crazy can hit a baseball slide and a moonsault press off the top to the floor. Joel does his Spanish schtick and we head back inside. Tajiri blocks a kick and fires off some of his own.

A HARD low dropkick to the head puts Crazy down and another….wakes him up enough to hit a springboard dropkicks and a moonsault. This is where most ECW matches lose me. Crazy pounds away in the corner but charges into a boot to send him to the outside. Tajiri hits a big old flip dive to take Crazy out again before sending him into the barricade. The Buzzsaw Kick puts Crazy down but there’s no cover for some reason.

There’s a full nelson which is countered into the spinning backbreaker hold that Tajiri used on occasion. Crazy completely no sells all of that and hits a powerbomb for two. Two thirds of the triple moonsaults hit before Tajiri crotches him and puts Crazy in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide dropkick. Crazy tries a sunset flip but Tajiri kicks him in the head and a brainbuster finally gets Tajiri the pin.

Rating: C-. I love Tajiri but man alive these matches are annoying. The no selling from Crazy is ridiculous as he got kicked in the head and popped up for a big spot mere seconds later? THAT MAKES NO SENSE! How is that supposed to work? The high spots were good and Tajiri’s kicks were good as always, but other than that there wasn’t anything of note here at all.

Tanaka speaks Japanese.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

No entrances for either guy and Tanaka is defending here. Awesome jumps Tanaka to start and hits a kind of overhead release belly to belly. Tanaka is sent to the floor and Awesome hits a big plancha to take him down. We get the first table set up on the floor but Tanaka breaks up the powerbomb through it. A top rope cross body to the floor takes out Awesome as does a running chair shot to the head.

They head into the crowd with Awesome running the champ over in the process. That goes nowhere so Awesome hits a slingshot splash back inside for two. Tanaka won’t stay down after three chair shots to the head. A fourth and fifth only keep him down for a bit and he dropkicks Awesome out of the air on an attempt at a top rope chair shot. Tanaka hits him with a chair and goes to the floor to get a second one, which he drives Awesome’s head into with a tornado DDT for two.

A top rope elbow with the chair gets two as well for the champion as we’re firmly into the “nothing will stop these guys” stage. Diamond Dust (flipping Stunner out of the corner) mostly misses and only gets two. Awesome hits a release German suplex and a chokebomb but he can’t cover. The running Awesome Bomb gets another two and it’s table time. An Awesome Bomb through the table is countered but the second attempt hits for just two.

Another table is set up but Tanaka gets up before Awesome can splash him. They head up to the top and Tanaka DDTs him through the table but he can’t cover. The Roaring Elbow only gets two and Tanaka is stunned. Diamond Dust is countered and Awesome hits a spinebuster and the Awesome Splash for two. They both head up top again and Awesome pulls off a sitout powerbomb off the top for the pin and the title. Sweet ending spot.

Rating: C. This was somewhat better than last week’s match but the idea of these two not being able to hurt each other at all gets a bit old after awhile. Awesome hitting that powerbomb out of the corner was pretty cool so at least they ended it with a big spot. Tanaka would never really do anything else in ECW again as he was just there and champion as part of a deal with FMW from Japan.

Post match Spike Dudley comes out and tries to beat up Awesome but he gets beaten down as well. Spike’s girlfriend/fan comes in to beat up Awesome’s manager but Awesome kills her with a clothesline. Spike gets put through a table to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Questionable wrestling aside, this was probably the best show they’ve had in months. First and foremost, the show was better structured tonight with the top angle to open the show, then a midcard match and then the world title to close the show and set up the world title match at the PPV. It’s not a good show but it makes more sense and had less stupid stuff than the rest of the shows they’ve had lately.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 24, 1999
Location: Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, Tennessee
Attendance: 2,500
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

For once we’ve got a huge show here with Awesome defending the world title against Masato Tanaka. I remember hearing about this match back in 1999 and being furious that I had to go to my family’s Christmas party instead of being able to watch the title match. I got to see a few minutes here and there but I’ve never seen it all the way through. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey welcome us to the show until Cyrus interrupts them. Cyrus runs down Joel and Joel finally snaps back, saying there’s no ECW office to be fed up with him. Cyrus drops the bomb (I guess?) that he works for TNN, which freaks Joel out. We’re told that next week, Tanaka gets his shot. Judge Jeff Jones, Mike Awesome’s manager, comes out and says that if Spike Dudley wants a title shot, he needs to come and ask for it.

This brings out Spike as well as Awesome with the champion escaping the Acid Drop and laying out Spike with a huge clothesline. Awesome launches Spike over the top with Spike’s leg landing on the barricade. Tanaka “catches” him and then jumps the rail to fight Awesome right now. People from the back come out to break it up including Heyman, but Cyrus says let the match happen tonight. Heyman is cool with that and we have a main event for later.

Intro sequence.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

This is joined in progress and Tanaka is in workout pants. Tanaka sends him to the floor and into the barricade followed by a chair to the head. These two were rivals in Japan with Tanaka being the guy that beat Awesome far more than anyone else. Awesome is defending and already beat Tanaka at two straight PPVs. They head into the crowd with the champion taking over.

That doesn’t seem to interest them that much so it’s time to head back to ringside. A top rope clothesline gets two for Awesome and the annoying fans already want tables. A sitout powerbomb gets two as well for Awesome and the fans get their wish. Tanaka takes a huge running Awesome Bomb off the apron through said table, as Wrestling Law #1 (if you set the table, you go through it) doesn’t apply in ECW.

We take a break and come back with the Awesome Splash getting two. Awesome brings in another table and about ten people are watching from the aisle. Tanaka escapes another powerbomb and hits a release German through the table followed by a tornado DDT onto a chair for two. A top rope elbow with a chair gets two for Tanaka as well. Awesome crushes Tanaka’s head with a chair but Tanaka gets up. Two more chairs to the head won’t put him down but a third finally does.

A running powerbomb gets two for Awesome as we’re firmly into the “what does it take to win this” mode. We take another break and come back with Tanaka hitting a tornado DDT off the top through a table for two. The fans are starting to lose it on these kickouts. Tanaka hits the Roaring Elbow (a discus elbow smash to the face) for the pin and the title out of nowhere.

Rating: C. This rating depends on how you look at it. It was exciting, but it was completely ridiculous. The biggest problem of all: Awesome can stand up through all of those huge moves with all of those weapons, but an elbow to the face is enough to knock him out? How exactly does that work? These matches are well received, and while they’re exciting, they destroy the limits of what it means to be realistic and that brings them down a lot.

Awesome puts the belt on Tanaka and then beats him up, followed by a powerbomb over the ropes and through a table on the floor.

Awesome is furious post break and goes after Cyrus, who blames Paulie.

Super Crazy vs. Ikuto Hidaka

Before the match, we cut to the back and see Corino, Jack Victory and Rhyno leaving a locker room after apparently destroying Axl Rotten and Balls Mahoney with a chair. It’s a feeling out process to start with with Crazy going to the floor. Back in and it’s time for gymnastics. They both avoid everything the other person throws before they both hit armdrags and nip up at the same time for a standoff.

Hidaka ducks a kick and a headscissors sends Crazy to the outside. A HUGE flip dive takes crazy out again and Hidaka is in control. Crazy whips him into the barricade and fires off some kicks before we head back inside. A springboard missile dropkick puts Hidaka down and a moonsault gets two for Crazy. Crazy hooks a surfboard and then a dragon sleeper to keep Hidaka in trouble.

Hidaka is sent to the floor again but comes back in with a springboard missile dropkick to the knee. There’s a leg lock but Hidaka lets it go way too fast. West Coast Pop gets two for Hidaka and he counters a powerbomb into a tornado DDT for two more. He goes up again but misses his flip attack, allowing Crazy to hit a sitout powerbomb for the pin. Why did referees in ECW count so fast?

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that was exciting but it had nothing as far as storytelling or flow to it other than that 15 seconds of leg work that Hidaka did. I’ve never head of Hidaka other than him in ECW, which is odd as he had the high flying ability that indy companies love.

House show/merchandise ads.

Mike Awesome yells at Lou E. Dangerously who was literally a Heyman imitator. Lou: “I’m not him! LOOK! I HAVE HAIR!” Awesome yells at his manager for taking too much credit for Awesome’s success.

Tag Titles: Raven/Tommy Dreamer vs. Da Baldies

Before the match we get comments from the Impact Players who are ready for Guilty As Charged and their title shot. Storm: “Now put that in your Y2J and smoke it.” We come back to the arena to see the Players running in to beat down Raven while Dreamer is in the crowd for some reason. There’s no match here as the Players beat up Raven and cuff him up in a crucifixion position at the entrance. Raven gets caned and busted open as the Players pose to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is one of those shows that feels like it’s charging by as fast as it can and hopes that you can’t tell what’s on it but it hopes that you like the streaks of color you see. The two matches that actually happened were fast paced and entertaining, but they certainly weren’t good from a quality standpoint at all. We’ll have a rematch for the title next week anyway and guess what happens there.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 17, 1999
Location: Siegel Center, Richmond, Virginia
Attendance: 3,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re getting close to the end of the year and hopefully we actually have some development in the tag title feud. I remember something major that was coming next week but I think that was impromptu instead of something that was set up the week before. Then again that was on Christmas Eve so it’s not like building something up would have served a purpose anyway. Let’s get to it.

Joel and Joey welcome us from the announce position instead of in the ring as usual. We actually have a #1 contenders tag match tonight.

The Impact Players are ready for Candido and Rhyno tonight.

Opening sequence.

Nova and some guy are in the back when Chris Chetti comes in and says he’s coming back tonight. Nova says no way because of Chetti’s back isn’t healed yet. Chetti doesn’t want to wind up being way too hurt and he picked the other guy (apparently Kid Kash) to be the substitute partner. Chetti leaves and accuses both guys of checking him out as he leaves, but he can’t blame them because he can turn straight people gay. Ok then.

The Baldies issue an open challenge to anyone in the back.

DeVito vs. New Jack

This would be a bit more surprising if New Jack hadn’t already been announced as facing one of the Baldies tonight. Jack breaks a crutch over DeVito’s back to start followed by breaking a keyboard over his head. Joel: “I think he just swallowed an asterisk!” Something metal follows that upside DeVito’s head and the keyboard is placed between DeVito’s legs and crushed with a kendo stick. A top rope guitar shot gets the pin. Yes, they actually called this a wrestling match.

Post the alleged match New Jack pulls out a fork but before he can embrace his inner Abdullah, the other Baldies run in for the save. They staple New Jack’s ear and we go to a break.

Back with Da Baldies still in the ring and issuing another open challenge.

Mike Awesome vs. Grimes

Well that’s quite an answer. Grimes takes over to start with a top rope clothesline but Awesome pops back up. This isn’t for the title I don’t think. Awesome snaps off a German and clotheslines Grimes to the floor, giving us three more wrestling moves than in the whole New Jack thing. Awesome hits a big dive to take out Grimes on the floor. I have no idea if Awesome is a face or a heel but he’s wrestling like the former here.

A big chair shot to the back of Grimes keeps him in trouble but he reverses Awesome into the barricade. Awesome is like screw that and slams Grimes’ head into the concrete to take over again. It’s table time already and Grimes is powerbombed off the apron through said table, which is good for the pin back in the ring. Total squash.

Judge Jeff Jones (Awesome’s manager) says Awesome is the best giant in the world. Cue the giant killer Spike Dudley for the Acid Drop on the champion.

Danny Doring is in the shower and Elektra joins him. He pulls back the curtain but finds Roadkill instead. Francine comes in and Elektra pops in and complains about hearing Francine here. Elektra threatens Doring with castration. This went nowhere.

Joey is talking about the upcoming match when Joel pops up in a towel saying he wants more shower scenes.

Tom Marquez vs. Super Calo vs. Ikuto Hidaka

Hidaka gets sent to the floor by a double team, followed by Marquez turning on Calo almost immediately. Hidaka pops back in and takes out Calo but Marquez pounds him into the corner. A tornado DDT from Hidaka gets two on Marquez but Calo comes back in with a springboard missile dropkick. Hidaka dropkicks everyone down and here’s Sabu to beat up all three guys. Another too short to rate match.

All three guys are driven through the same table. Must be a budget cutback. Sabu vs. Van Dam for the TV Title is official for the PPV.

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Rhyno/Chris Candido vs. Impact Players

The winners get Raven and Dreamer at the PPV for the titles. Rhyno and Justin start things off and it’s power vs. speed. A wheelbarrow slam puts Justin on the floor and it’s off to Candido vs. Storm who have history of their own. Things get a lot more technical and Candido takes Storm down, followed by a middle rope legdrop. Storm ducks under a charging Candido to Chris into a superkick from Credible.

Jason slides in a chair because what would an ECW match be without one? Justin backdrops Candido onto the chair and drops a knee for no cover. Candido blocks what might have been a suplex and DDTs Justin onto the chair. Off to Rhyno and Justin gets double teamed. Justin gets a tag out of nowhere and Storm comes in with a springboard clothesline to Candido.

Rhyno kills him with a spinebuster for two and it’s back to Candido again for a delayed vertical suplex on Lance. Storm escapes but gets his head kicked off by an enziguri for two. There’s a superplex on Storm but the girls come in for a catfight. Justin canes Candido and Storm avoids a Gore, sending it into Candido by mistakes. Justin superkicks Candido down to get the title shot at Guilty As Charged.

Rating: C. Not terrible here as for the most part it was just a tag match instead of some big wild brawl. Also, we FINALLY advance the story instead of doing the same things over and over again which is a major perk. We have a title match to build to now which is all I’ve been wanting from this story. Well that and less Justin but you can’t get everything.

Candido and Rhyno get in an argument in the aisle while Storm says the Impact Players will win the titles. Storm talks down about Sandman and here’s Sandy himself. The entrance is sped up here and only takes about a minute and a half. The Players leave and Jason is left all alone. There’s a cane shot to his head and multiple more to his body. Jason is a decoy though and Sandman gets beaten down. Sandman gets in some offense but Rhyno comes back in and Gores him out of frustration.

Raven talks about needing to do the right thing because he can’t fight Dreamer again. Dreamer is too strong for him now and they need to take out the Impact Players at the PPV. He begs Dreamer to understand that but the camera pans back to show that he’s talking to Francine.

Overall Rating: C. Better show this week because the main story was actually advanced. Also whenever Mike Awesome goes out there and destroys whatever people he sees in his path it’s a good day. The shows have picked up since the world champion is around and since we’ve actually started building up to the PPV. That’s what’s been missing the last three or four weeks.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 10, 1999
Location: The Tabernacle, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 2,000
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

We’re slowly getting to Guilty As Charged but it’s still far enough away that we don’t need to talk about it yet. The main story here is still Raven vs. Dreamer because it worked in 95 so of course it’ll work now right? These shows are all over the place most of the time so there’s no way to know what’s coming here. Let’s get to it.

We open with Van Dam in the ring dedicating his title defense tonight to Sabu who is here but injured apparently. Sabu doesn’t like it and has to be held back. Van Dam calls Sabu the Sheik’s (Sabu’s legit uncle and trainer) second favorite wrestler.

We cut to the back where Raven is ramming his head against the wall but Dreamer comes in to stop him, saying they’re proud of Raven.

Theme song.

Joey and Joel are in the ring and after our opening limerick, we throw it to a recap of last week with Steve Corino going to a Limp Bizkit concert. Back in the arena we have Corino and Jack Victory in the ring. Corino bashes hardcore wrestling and hardcore music but praises the Backstreet Boys, N’Sync and Britney Spears. Corino goes on a rant about how bad music is and then complains about Dusty Rhodes……who happens to be in the crowd.

Corino rants about how everyone here is drunk and Dusty killed WCW. Dusty comes to the ring with a smile on his face and gets in Corino’s face. Corino calls himself the future of pro wrestling and says he never respected Dusty. Dusty elbows Steve and Victory in the head and drops the big elbow on Corino.

After some ads, Dusty is in the ring still. He takes a bow and that’s it.

We recap the Hardcore TV taping from earlier.

The Impact Players say they can both beat Sandman and don’t need any help.

Spike Dudley vs. Uganda

Acid Drop pins Uganda in almost less time than it takes me to type this sentence. Uganda isn’t Kamala in case you’re one of the many who think this. Basically he’s a Kamala imitator, as in he looks identical to him, wears the same attire, has the same paint, and wrestles just like him. Different guys though.

RVD (stoned even more than he usually is) says he was the star of his team with Sabu.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Awesome (the champion) runs Scorpio over to start and Scorpio isn’t sure what to do. Scorpio knocks him to the ramp (the arena is strange as the aisle to the ring is on the level with the ring but the ring itself is in a kind of a pit) and hits a flip dive to take over, but back in the ring Awesome suplexes him to the floor. Scorpio is launched into the crowd and the champion dives over the barricade with a clothesline.

A chair to the back puts Scorpio back at ringside and a charge into the chair into Scorpio gets two back in the ring. Another tackle puts 2 Cold down and a clothesline knocks him inside out. This has been a total squash so far. Scorpio grabs a quick cradle for two and “hits” a superkick to set up a big top rope splash for two. A moonsault gets the same but Scorpio walks into a modified powerbomb for two.

Awesome hits a sweet release German suplex and it’s table time. It is ECW after all. Jazz, Scorpio’s manager, gets in and Scorpio has to save her from being powerbombed through the table. There’s another superkick to Awesome but Scorpio takes too much time to go up top and a HUGE powerbomb through the table kills 2 Cold dead to keep the title on Awesome.

Rating: C. I like both of these guys so I was a fan of this match before it started. This was when Scorpio was a shell of his old self when he was flying all over the place back in WCW in the early 90s. Good stuff here though as Awesome was moving around like Scorpio used to despite being bigger and taller than Scorpio ever was. Fun stuff.

Justin Credible is here to complain about Sandman having a Singapore Cane of his own. Apparently Jason, the Impact Players’ lackey, has stolen Sandman’s Cane.

Justin Credible vs. The Sandman

Sandman has what looks like a broom. After a break Sandman is going after the cane but gets caught by a baseball slide to send him into the barricade. Justin rams him into a chair in the ring but Sandman gets a shot in of his own and heads to the floor where he climbs a magically appearing ladder. He climbs the ladder and then climbs back down, making this another pointless ECW sequence.

Justin puts the ladder in the corner between the ropes and due to wrestling law #1, is sent into it himself, getting a two for Sandy. The ladder is placed on the top rope and Justin is launched into it for two. A slingshot legdrop onto the ladder onto Justin gets two again and it’s time for another table. The table is set in the corner but Credible grabs a sleeper out of nowhere. Speaking of out of nowhere, here’s Rhyno to Gore both guys through the table. The White Russian Leg Sweep would seem to get the pin but Lance Storm comes in and hits a missile dropkick on Sandman to drive a chair into his face and give Justin the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a great contrast of two kinds of matches. The world title match had a coherent story to it (mostly) and both guys were hitting almost everything they used. This was a lot messier with the weapons being the focus of the match instead of the wrestlers in the ring, which is almost never a good thing.

Post match Dreamer runs out to beat up Storm and we get a Dawn Marie vs. Francine catfight.

After a recap of the show, Dreamer yells at Raven who says he wasn’t going to help Sandman. Dreamer calls him Scotty to prove how serious he is.

Overall Rating: D+. This just wasn’t that good. Corino finally has an actual wrestler to feud with and the world title match wasn’t bad, but the focus is still completely on the tag title feud and I only have kind of an idea what’s going on. The Impact Players want the titles and Candido (not here tonight) and Rhyno want the titles and Dreamer hates Raven and Sandman is in there somewhere and Raven hates Sandman. Now one question: when are the belts going to be defended? That’s the main (of multiple) problems with this: there’s no match anywhere in sight so far. Not a horrible show but still messy.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: December 3, 1999
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,700
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

Another week, another ECW show. We’re somehow getting close to the end of this series, even though we’re barely a fourth of the way through it. The main story at the moment is Dreamer/Raven vs. the Impact Players and Raven getting beaten up even though he keeps doing the right thing. Other than that I’m sure we’ll have New Jack yelling about bald people again. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Raven’s history with Sandman who caned him last week.

Opening sequence.

After Joel and Joey do their thing, here are the Impact Players. Justin says he and Storm are the tag champions but Joey disagrees with them. Justin says guys like Candido and Rhyno take the bullets for the Impact Players, so here are the guys he mentioned plus Sunny in a great red dress. Candido says he’s responsible for the Players being here and Rhyno says screw talking and let’s fight. Dawn and Sunny have a Catfight as security breaks the guys up.

After a break, Steve Corino rants about Limp Bizkit being in concert in the next building because the music is driving him crazy. He’s going to go and yell at Bizkit. Even Jack Victory says he’s on his own in this one. Apparently this was in Illinois. Ok then.

Super Crazy vs. Ikuto Hidaka

For no apparent reason we cut to Sandman in the back where he complains about Raven and all the things Raven has done to him over the year. Back in the arena we actually get the start of the match this time. They trade hammerlocks to start Hidaka takes him to the mat and cranks on the knee, actually making Crazy limp. That’s a new one for him. We start a fast paced flip fest with neither guy being able to take over. It’s a double nip up and a standoff, drawing a round of applause.

Hidaka hits a hard kick and sends Crazy to the floor, followed by a springboard corkscrew dive as we take a break. Yes on ECW. Back with Hidada hitting a springboard tornado DDT for two. Crazy comes back with a springboard moonsault for two. Crazy fires away 20 punches in the corner but Hidaka kicks him in the arm (it was supposed to be the head) to take Crazy down for two. The Japanese guy hits a German on the Mexican for two. Hidaka’s tornado DDT is countered and Crazy kills him with a powerbomb. A moonsault gets the pin for the luchador.

Rating: C. This was the kind of match that was designed to fire up the crowd but it was nothing but a spot fest. Those kind of matches can be fun, but the lack of selling always gets on my nerves. This was way better than the previous week’s version of this though due to the lack of overbooking.

Corino is at a Limp Bizkit concert. He yells at some fans and apparently we’ll be seeing more later.

Raven says Sandman is just like Raven’s father: an abusive drunk.

Corino confronts lead singer Fred Durst. This goes on for awhile.

Cyrus talks to Jerry Lynn but Jerry won’t answer any questions about Tajiri.

Sandman vs. Raven

Dreamer is referee. They immediately (by that I mean after Sandman’s entrance and after a break) fight on the floor with Sandman sending Raven into various metal objects. Sandman puts a table up against the barricade and Raven is busted open already. As per the #1 law of wrestling though, Sandman goes through the table and both guys are down. They head inside along with two tables and two chairs.

Raven hits the drop toehold onto the chair as the fans chant for Sandman, making Bird Boy freak out. Sandy misses a slingshot dive through the table and both guys are down again. Off to a sleeper by Raven but Sandman drives both of them through another table with Raven getting the worst of it. Another table (#4 if you’re counting) is thrown in and Sandman fires off more punches.

There’s a table in two opposite corners now but Raven hits Sandman low to take over. Sandman comes back and puts Raven in front of a table before hitting a flip dive through it. Here are Candido and Rhyno who beat up everyone in sight. Both Dreamer and Sandman get Gored through tables but it only gets two for Raven.

Sandman DDTs Raven down and here’s Lori, Sandman’s ex wife who joined Raven’s cult back in the day. She hits Raven low but Francine comes out for a Catfight for DDTs Lori. Raven hits a DDT on Sandman and good grief the Impact Players come in for run in #7 or so. Justin canes Raven and the White Russian Legsweep gets the pin for Sandman.

Rating: D. As usual, we have an interesting idea going on here with Dreamer and Raven and Sandman, but the overbooking takes away anything they had going for it. Dreamer meant nothing at all here and for the life of me I’m not sure I know what’s going on in this feud. Do Dreamer and Raven ever defend the belts anymore?

We close on the Bizkit concert again, with Axl Rotten, Balls Mahoney and New Jack helping Fred Durst beat up Corino. You can’t understand a word being said in any of the promos so it doesn’t mean much anyway.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t as bad as the previous episode, but at the same time it was still a mess. With only two matches, it seems to me that there is a lot of time being wasted elsewhere. Now I get that stuff outside of matches can be good, but when you can’t understand a word being said by Corino or Durst, it doesn’t really make that big of a difference. Still though, I’d rather see that than New Jack (who didn’t go after the Baldies at all this week so I guess that was just forgotten about).

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

ECW on TNN
Date: November 26, 1999
Location: Aragon Ballroom, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,912
Commentators: Joey Styles, Joel Gertner

It’s the day after Thanksgiving which means the Cowboys are probably on a losing streak. When may be a bit more surprising is that with this episode, I’ll be ¼ done with the entire series. Think about that for a minute. This show wasn’t even on the air for 60 episodes. The next PPV isn’t for a month and a half so we’ve got some time to fill. Let’s get to it.

After a very quick intro by Joel and Joey, here’s Jerry Lynn to open things up. Joey asks him if he’s in league with Tajiri and Jerry says that’s it for this interview and leaves.

Theme song.

Rhyno tells Candido that Candido needs to find him a warmup match or Candido will get the warmup beating. Sunny implies she’ll de-hornify Rhyno if he gives her ten minutes.

TV Title: CW Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

During RVD’s entrance, we cut to New Jack in New York looking for the Baldies. New Jack flat out says he wants to rape Angel. We miss the opening of the match because of a merchandise plug. Anderson is in control to start with a headlock and left hand in the corner. Van Dam comes back with a sunset flip and spinwheel kick to take over. Another kick takes Anderson down and the cartwheel moonsault gets two. CW comes back with a superkick (WAY too popular of a move in ECW) for two and a neckbreaker for the same.

Anderson goes up but gets crotched. When has going to the top EVER gone well for someone named Anderson? Yes, they’re actually pushing him as Arn’s relative, which I hope has some tongue in cheek aspects to it here. They head to the floor with Van Dam putting him over the barricade and hitting the spinning leg to Anderson’s back. Back in and a spinebuster puts Van Dam down for two. That doesn’t seem to matter though as a few kicks put Anderson down and the Five Star retains the title.

Rating: C-. This was your normal TV Title match for Van Dam: he comes out, he gets the crowd fired up, he hits some kicks, he retains the title, the fans all say it’s way better than it really was. Anderson was supposed to be a big time heel in ECW but he never quite got anywhere with it, other than an I Quit match with Dreamer which again wasn’t as great as people make it out to be.

New Jack is still looking for the Baldies. He annoys the one person he finds on a NEW YORK CITY subway and that’s about it.

We come back to the arena and Sabu is fighting Van Dam.

TV Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Sabu

Why is Sabu out here? No reason given. Why are tag partners fighting? No reason given. Van Dam kicks Sabu down but gets crotched as he goes up. Sabu hits a springboard hurricanrana off the top for two. Fonzie slides in a chair which goes upside Van Dam’s head. The Triple Jump Moonsault mostly misses and we head to the floor. Van Dam dives into the crowd onto Sabu and we take a break.

Back with Van Dam on a table between the barricade and ring with Sabu diving off the top through it. Sabu slams him down in the ring…..and we take another break? Back with Sabu falling on the chair as he loads up another Triple Jump Moonsault which apparently hurt his knee. Van Dam goes after the knee and here are Candido and Rhyno to beat both guys up.

Van Dam and Sabu kick them down with chairs before Van Dam hits a flip dive over the top to take both guys out. Sabu tries a dive of his own but the knee gives out. Van Dam goes back in and works on the knee, hitting a Five Star onto the chair onto the knee. He puts on a bridging Indian Deathlock and Fonzie throws in the towel.

Rating: N/A. This is one of those matches where the match went long enough to get a rating, but there was so much other stuff going on that there is no way to fairly grade it. These two would have a title match at the PPV which Van Dam would win, but that begs the question of why give it away for free here? That’ll come up later on so we’ll get to it in a bit.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy

Before we start what should be a good match, we go back to New Jack in the subway. He’s on the #6 train. Actually he’s in front of it so he’s already lying. Once again we miss the opening and come back to see Guido taking him to the mat. A cross armbreaker is broken up and we have a standoff. They both counter a few moves until Crazy tries a standing Lionsault but gets dropkicked out of the air.

Guido drops a knee to the face of Crazy but Crazy stops to go after Big Sal. After Crazy escapes Sal’s clutches, Guido misses a dive onto Crazy and Crazy hits an Asai Moonsault onto both of them. Back in and Guido hits a top rope Fameasser for two. The idea of selling doesn’t mean much in ECW. In a cool move, Crazy sets for a Lionsault but Guido pops up onto the ropes and hits a Russian Leg Sweep off the middle rope for two.

Crazy gets powerbombed out of the corner for two. Again the lack of selling is ridiculous. A tornado DDT puts Guido down for a delayed two. A top rope flip dive gets the same and it’s time to punch in the corner. Big Sal comes in and crushes the referee before getting ranaed by Crazy. Tajiri and Lynn come in for no apparent reason and beat up Crazy to give Guido the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t dull but it wasn’t any good. The problem here was that instead of a coherent match with any flow or psychology (or selling) to it, they were just hitting random moves on each other until the run-in which made no sense at the end. The annoying thing about ECW is that Crazy vs. Guido could be a good match but they have to overbook it so much that it loses whatever it could have going for it.

Lance Storm/Justin Credible/Rhyno vs. Tommy Dreamer/Raven/Sandman

Here’s a rematch of November to Remember’s main event, because why pay for it when you can get it for free here? Then again why would you pay for it in the first place? Back to New York and the Baldies were on another train and leave with no confrontation. Yep, that’s the payoff after all that build up. Before Sandman and Raven get here, Dreamer goes after Credible. It turns into a three on one beating and here’s Raven for the save. That goes badly for Bird Boy as Storm kicks him down. A chair is brought in and Storm goes face first into it, giving the tag champs (Dreamer and Raven) the advantage.

We have like six minutes of airtime left and Sandman hasn’t started his entrance yet. Dreamer gets double teamed by Rhyno and Storm in the ring while Credible beats on Raven on the floor. Here comes Sandman so the heels all stop what they’re doing. You know, because a guy staring at them is enough to make them stop beating on their opponents.

Sandman comes in and misses everyone before Storm superkicks him down. There’s no semblance of a match here at all as it’s just a big brawl. Dreamer piledrives Rhyno and Francine hits Storm low. Dawn does the same to Dreamer and we have a Catfight. Sandman hits the White Russian Leg Sweep on Justin for two. Raven loads up a DDT on Storm but Sandman hits his partner with the cane and Storm pins him.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t a match. It was a wild brawl with the occasional wrestling move thrown in. When you have a wrestling match for me to rate, let me know. Nothing to see here.

New Jack finds a Baldie but a single shot to the back from another one knocks him out.

Overall Rating: D. The problem with ECW on TNN is that it’s very obvious that there are only about three stories going on in the entire show. You have Sabu vs. Van Dam (with no reason given as to why they’re fighting), the Dreamer/Raven stuff, and the Baldies vs. New Jack. Other than that, there’s NOTHING going on here. If I don’t care about any of those stories, I have no reason to watch. The problem on top of that is that these stories aren’t fleshed out at all. Basically the people are fighting because they’re supposed to be fighting. That’s not good and it’s not working here.

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ECW House Party 1996
Date: January 5, 1996
Location: ECW Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 1,150
Commentator: Joey Styles

Great, back to Philly again. This was another request for a show which I don’t remember the reasoning behind. This is from ECW golden era as Heyman was still considered brilliant before he self destructed and messed up everything he had built. I only know a little bit about this time period so it’s hard to say what’s coming. There’s a chance there’s a legendary ECW moment here so if that’s the case I’m looking forward to it. Let’s get to it.

Joey is in the ring to start but can’t even say his own name before Bill Alfonso and the whistle interrupt him. Fonzie says that he hates Styles and wants more interviews for himself and Taz. Joey finally rips into Fonzie and says that he’s ruining everything. They argue some more until Taz comes in and threatens Styles.

911, the 7’0 300lb enforcer of ECW, comes out to save Joey. Promoter Tod Gordon runs out and blasts Fonzie, making Taz go after Gordon. 911 grabs Taz by the throat but referees come out and break it up. The ring is cleared out other than one small guy who Taz suplexes. Joey gets yelled at again so here’s 911 again. A guy that looks like Chris Jericho with black hair runs in and jumps 911, taking out his knee.

Oh it’s Kronus with Saturn, more commonly known as the Eliminators, to beat up 911. This goes on for awhile until Rey Mysterio comes in for the save. This is back when Rey had two good knees and wasn’t roided out of his mind. He flies all over the place and cleans house, sending the Eliminators to the floor and hitting a big moonsault press to take both guys out. We have a match apparently.

Rey Mysterio Jr./911 vs. The Eliminators

Rey vs. Kronus to start with Mysterio flying all over the place and taking out both Eliminators with an armdrag/rana combo. Rey gets sent to the floor and here’s Taz to choke 911 again. The fans chant for Sabu and Taz just lets go. Rey and Kronus have some weapons brought in and everything breaks down. Well, as much as everything can break down in an ECW match.

Total Elimination takes 911 down again and Taz chokes him some more. Saturn (who has long black hair here) powerbombs Rey down but Mysterio comes back with a double DDT. 911 gets back in and Rey gets on his shoulders. It’s time to play some chicken. Rey fakes Saturn out though and jumps into the air, hitting a rana on Kronus off Saturn’s shoulders for the pin. That looked awesome.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t much but the Eliminators were nothing more than Total Elimination and matching black hair at this point. Mysterio would be in WCW in about 5 months while 911 would be 911 for the rest of his time in ECW. Nothing to see here but the ending was pretty sweet looking.

Post match the Eliminators take out Mysterio and the Pitbulls run in for the save. Francine, looking good in leather, beats up Jason, the Eliminators’ manager. The Eliminators pull her off Jason and hit Total Elimination on her, basically killing her. Jason gets beaten up as a consolation prize.

Rob Van Dam vs. Axl Rotten

This is Van Dam’s ECW debut. Rotten looks a bit thinner than he would in his more famous days. Rotten runs from a spin kick and then wants a karate fight. We haven’t had any significant contact in the first minute or so here. Rotten gets in a shot and starts pounding away, only to get caught in a Japanese armdrag for one. A chop takes Rotten down for two as Rob is starting to roll. In the match, not joints.

Rotten pokes Rob in the eye and sends him into the buckle to take over. Something we would call the Angle Slam puts Van Dam down and Rotten pounds away in the corner. It’s so strange to see Van Dam getting no fan support like this. Rotten makes some martial arts motions but misses a top rope elbow.

About two people try to start a LET’S GO ROB chant but it doesn’t quite work. Van Dam hits a top rope splash minus the frog aspect for two. Rotten goes to the floor and Rob hits a flip dive to put him down again. Back in and the top rope kick gets two. Rotten pounds away in the corner but misses a charge. Split legged moonsault gets the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much to see here but it’s pretty historic for ECW. It’s always fun to see where guys started, as Rob here was just a guy in a singlet who could jump high in the air. Rotten was better as a tag team guy which we’ll see later on. Other than that, this was just a way to fill in about seven minutes, which was fine.

TV Title: Mikey Whipwreck vs. 2 Cold Scorpio

Mikey won a winner take all match for the TV and Tag Titles over Scorpio a few weeks ago. Through a series of unimportant events, Mikey has accidentally joined Raven’s Nest (the original Flock) which neither the Nest or Mikey wants. Keep that in mind for later. Scorpio has Woman with him but there’s no Cactus, Mikey’s partner, for Mikey to balance things out. Whipwreck is defending if that wasn’t clear.

Scorpio says that Mikey can leave now and avoid a beating, so Mikey hits him with the belt to get us going. Mikey hits another belt shot but Scorpio kicks it back into his face to take over. Whipwreck gets launched into the air and crashes down face first onto the mat. A kick to the head puts Mikey down again and the beating continues. Scorpio talks some trash on a mic and keeps beating the champion up.

Mikey finally hits an enziguri to slow the beating down, followed by a cross body to send Scorpio to the floor. The idea is that Mikey was so used to getting beaten up that he’s not experienced on offense yet. They head to the floor and Mikey keeps pounding away on the back. Back in and Mikey grabs a German suplex for two. A legdrop gets one and 2 Cold has to poke him in the eye to break the momentum.

A powerbomb is countered into a rana by Mikey followed by a jumping kick to the ribs off the top. That looked bad. Scorpio heads to the floor and hits a running chair shot to the head of Whipwreck. Back in and a powerbomb keeps Mikey down. He gets sent into the chair and Scorpio can taste the gold. I wonder if it tastes like chicken. Everything else does. A powerslam sets up a twisting legdrop out of the corner but Mikey gets out at two.

Mikey reverses a bulldog to send Scorpio face first into a chair. He pops Scorpio in the back with the chair a few times, followed by a surfboard. 2 Cold gets up as most of Mikey’s offense doesn’t work that well and hits a Tombstone Powerslam for two. A moonsault hits but Scorpio lets him up, which is what cost him the initial match. Scorpio superplexes him but again lets Mikey up at two.

The Tumbleweed (rotating splash) gets two on Whipwreck again and now Scorpio is getting mad. Mikey grabs a swinging DDT out of nowhere but it only gets two. A top rope rana puts Scorpio down but he rolls to the floor before he gets covered. Mikey hits a BIG dive off the top and over the barricade to take Scorpio down again. Back in and Scorpio kicks Mikey’s head off to take over. Scorpio hits a belly to back superplex but the referee gets hit in the process. Cue Raven who DDTs Mikey, allowing Scorpio to hit a moonsault into a legdrop for the pin and the title.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good overall and the best match on the card by a few miles so far. Mikey could sell like a master but his offense never quite worked. He was a character designed around making the fans feel sorry for him and therefore care about him, but it doesn’t do much in one shots like this one. Scorpio was his usual high flying awesome self.

Taz vs. Hack Myers

Speaking of guys that are only good for the live crowd, I give you Hack Myers. He’s a biker that doesn’t do much other than punch and he’s called the Shah of Hardcore for no apparent reason. Fonzie comes out in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, making him more awesome than anything on this show so far. Myers works on the arm for a bit but Taz throws him down like a fly. You know, because you often throw over flies.

Joey talks about “these Ultimate Fighting PPVs” which have inspired guys like Taz. Taz rolls him down to the mat and puts on a hold of some sort on the neck. Myers sends him into the corner and elbows him in the back of the head to take over. Taz is like screw that and takes him down with a judo throw. Some more punches are countered by a T-Bone Tazplex followed by a head and arms Tazplex. A German Tazplex sets up the Tazmission for the tap.

Rating: D. Taz was pretty awesome with those suplexes but he needed more to work with here. Myers was a hometown favorite but man was he boring to watch for non-ECW fans. Taz would run through ECW for the next year or so before facing Sabu in the real main event of Barely Legal.

Post match Taz says he’s going on a Path of Rage through ECW and no one is stopping him. That was pretty much correct.

Jimmy Del Ray vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Del Ray is one half of the Heavenly Bodies but Tom Pritchard has been sent to the WWF as Zip in the Body Donnas, so Del Ray has Mr. Hughes with him now to try to give him something to do. Sign Guy Dudley has a Sign Off with the Sign Guy in the front row. Moving on. Bubba can’t say his name which was his gimmick back then, so Del Ray jumps him to start. Bubba pounds him into the corner and comes back with a dropkick (yes you read that right) and it’s time for a dance off!

Bubba seems to win so Del Ray jumps him and pounds away. Neckbreaker gets two. Del Ray, as well as Pritchard for that matter, never really did anything for me although I haven’t seen a lot of their SMW stuff which is their most famous work. Del Ray’s whip into the corner is reversed and the big fat Bubba hits a corner splash but Del Ray hits him low.

A tornado DDT gets two for Jimmy and he’s getting frustrated because his minute and a half of offense didn’t work. Dudley tries the Bubba Bomb (a powerbomb, not the full nelson kind) but Mr. Hughes distracts him, which to be fair isn’t that hard to do. Del Ray hits Bubba again but as he tries a backdrop, Bubba DDTs him for the pin. Bubba would get better to say the least. Too short to rate but this was nothing.

Post match a brawl breaks out and Mr. Hughes yells about the Dudleys and Bubba’s inability to speak English in particular….and here’s Shane Douglas. He’s returning to ECW after being Dean Douglas in the WWF and the fans ERUPT. He’s doing a parody of the teacher, making fun of the English of Bubba. Shane does the Triple Threat sign and says things are going to be fixed around here. Shane hits Bubba and that’s about it. What an odd way to return for a big name in ECW.

At this point there would be a match with the Bad Breed vs. JT Smith and Tony Stetson but apparently it wasn’t on the home video. It went to a no contest, apparently due to the Bad Breed half murdering them.

We now get to the very famous segment from this show. Dancing Stevie Richards comes out along with Blue Meanie and Beaulah. Stevie says he’s no longer Dancing Stevie but rather Studly Stevie, the King of Swing. He talks about Missy Hyatt wanting him which is the result of them kissing on Hardcore TV recently. He makes fun of the American Males which shows you the level of references they’re reaching here.

Joey makes fun of Richards for wasting TV time like this. Stevie points out that Raven isn’t here and talks about how Raven was at a concert in early December. Raven started partying that night and he’s just now coming down. During that span, Beaulah has been neglected by Raven so Richards is going to kiss her to make up for it. She says no and that she doesn’t want to be touched. Richards says it’s because she’s Raven’s girl but she says it’s because she’s pregnant. Joey freaking out by that is pretty funny stuff.

Raven comes out and yells at her, saying the pills say one day at a time. We get the next bombshell as Beaulah says it’s not Raven’s. Raven blasts Richards but she says it’s not his either. She says it’s Tommy’s and Raven freaks. Dreamer runs out and destroys Raven, hitting him with whatever he can find, including a sign with a stop sign hidden inside.

Then in one of the more bizarre moments in ECW history (which is saying a lot) a fan hands Tommy a blueberry pie which Raven gets piledriven onto. You know, because when you come to a wrestling show, you bring blueberry pie with you. Dreamer and Beaulah leave together as this feud continues.

ECW World Title: Sandman vs. Konnan

Sandman is defending. Woman is with Sandman and is in a different dress than earlier tonight. Sandman has an abbreviated entrance here, only taking four and a half minutes to get into the ring. This is back when Konnan was young and awesome. Awesome to the point that he would be on Nitro in less than three weeks. The champ stalls a lot as the fans boo Konnan for some reason. Oh it’s because he sold out after being in ECW for just a few months.

Konnan takes him down by the arm and works over the champ’s legs. With the legs tied up, he hooks a suplex head grip and cranks away on Sandman in a cool submission. Sandman accidentally falls into a counter (Joey’s words) and it’s a standoff. Konnan takes him right back to the mat in a rolling neck lock. Even Joey doesn’t know what to call it. Sandman actually tries to sit out with Konnan and they head to the floor.

Back in and a clothesline takes Konnan down as Sandman finally gets in some offense. Konnan kicks him in the face and speeds things up again. Sandman throws him to the floor and hits a plancha to crush Konna against the railing. Both guys are down now which is about the last thing they needed to do at this point. Konnan hits him in the head with a chair but Sandman elbows him in the head.

Konnan gets draped over the barricade and Sandman is in control after finally taking it to a place where he has some skill. They head into the crowd for a few seconds and then back inside the ring. Sandy pounds away and Konnan is cut open. Konnan gets sent into the post and we head outside again. Sandman throws a table onto Konnan and the three of them (table included) head back inside.

Sandman can’t superplex Konnan through the table and is thrown through it himself. Woman slaps Konnan, allowing Sandman to hit him in the head with a kendo stick. Rey Mysterio comes out and hands Konnan a cane of his own. Konnan gets in some shots with the cane but Sandman fires back. They both collapse and Woman pulls Sandman to his feet to beat the ten count (which should have ended when he was on his feet) and win the match.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t all that impressed here and the ending hurt it a lot. The other problem here was that with it being known that Konnan was leaving, he wasn’t a threat to take the title at all. Also this was before Sandman really had developed the limited in ring skills he would acquire, so this was a lot more of a fight than anything else. Nothing to see here but Konnan’s submissions weren’t bad.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards

Richards slips getting into the ring and falls on his face. He also has a bad arm coming into this. Richards runs to start and throws in a chair. Yeah, throw a chair to Sabu. Joey agrees with me, saying that it’s like handing a chainsaw to Leatherface. Sabu has enough of the standing around so he hits a suicide dive to take over. Back inside and Sabu hooks a chinlock but Stevie powerbombs him out of the corner to take over.

Sabu will have none of that and comes back with a slingshot flipping legdrop. Off to an armbar of all things but it only lasts a few seconds. Richards is placed on the top rope and with the help of a chair, Sabu “hits” Air Sabu to knock him to the floor. Sabu slams him to the floor and both guys are down. Richards gets sent into the railing and Sabu sets up a table. Blue Meanie saves Stevie and we head back inside.

Sabu gets caught in an electric chair position but he rolls Richards over the top and out to the floor. This show needs to hurry up and end because it’s REALLY dragging badly now. Richards head fakes Sabu and the crazy one goes through the table. That would be the crazy one Sabu in case you were confused. Meanie gets in a kick on Sabu and they head inside again. Stevie drops a top rope punch for two as we see that he’s not the best on offense.

A Frankensteiner gets two for Sabu and both guys are spent. Richards is sent to the floor and Sabu finally dives over the top with a slingshot rana onto Meanie. Richards gets a horribly botched one of his own from Sabu and the guy in the bright yellow pants takes over again. Richards is placed on a table but Meanie makes the save.

Paul E of all people comes out to beat up Meanie and Sabu hits a dive through Richards through the table. Back inside and that only gets two as this match just keeps going. Richards rolls him up for two and hits the Stevie Kick for another two. A Sabu DDT gets the same and it’s chair time again. Sabu goes up and hits the Atomic Arabian Facebuster (flip leg drop with the chair) to get a pretty anti-climactic pin.

Rating: C-. This just kept going and going and it was only decent to begin with. Sabu would be pushed much harder over the next few months as he would feud with Taz while Richards would somehow get into the world title #1 contenders match at Barely Legal. This wasn’t awful but it dragged a lot which really hurt it.

Public Enemy vs. The Gangstas

This is Public Enemy’s last match before they head to WCW as well. The Public Enemy is Johnny Grunge and Rocco Rock while the Gangstas are Mustafa Saed and New Jack. It’s a big dance party to start before Public Enemy says that they love it here and that this is their house. The fans aren’t sure if they want to chant “you’ll be back” or “you sold out”. Now Jack runs his mouth about WCW and Harlem Heat and all that jazz. Sensational Sherri is a ho apparently.

It’s a big brawl to start and did you really expect anything else? Jack immediately busts grunge open and beats on him with what looks like a whip. Rock and Saed get back in and Rock is choked with something. An iron, as in the thing you get wrinkles out with, is brought in and goes upside Rock’s head. Now it goes onto Jack’s head for two. Public Enemy takes over and we’ve got a lot of blood already.

Grunge DDTs Mustafa for no cover before sending him to the floor. Mustafa is put on the tbale and there’s a big flip dive by Rock through Mustafa through said table. We go into the crowd with Grunge hammering away on Jack. Mustafa busts out a spinning toe hold on Rocco of all things but gets caught in a small package for two. Jack piledrives Grunge on the floor and goes up onto a balcony for a splash. This is just mindless violence at this point.

A loaf of bread is used as a weapon. I hope it was white because if you bring in whole wheat…..I don’t even want to think of that kind of carnage. They head back to ringside as we have a pie used. Rock is placed on a table in the ring and Saed hits a Vader Bomb through it, allowing Grunge to cover Saed for two. Everyone gets back inside now and it’s time for another table.

Jack and Grunge head to the floor again and a can of soda is used upside Jack’s head. Rock moonsaults Saed through the table but can’t cover. Saed suplexes Rock down but Grunge comes in to beat on him. A reverse DDT by Grunge sets up a modified Swanton Bomb from Rock (The Drive By) for the pin on Saed to send Public Enemy out on a high note.

Rating: D+. This was ECW’s signature stuff: mindless violence and destruction. This isn’t my taste but the fans in Philly ate it up. Speaking of eating, what was with all the food used in this match? Did a bakery open up in the ECW Arena that I wasn’t told about? Either way this wasn’t awful but it was what it was: a big brawl which is how Public Enemy should have gone out.

Rock thanks the fans and invites everyone into the ring for one last dance to end the show. They would be back in about three years.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst ECW show I’ve ever seen, but it felt like one of the longest. The good stuff here does exist but at the same time a lot of these matches went on WAY longer than they needed to, namely Sabu vs. Richards. This was also a show where you could see a lot of transition for ECW, as a ton of people were leaving but a lot of big names were arriving, such as RVD and the returning Shane Douglas. Not the worst ECW show ever, but it’s just not my taste at all.

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