WCCW Tag Titles: Samoan Swat Team vs. Michael Hayes/Steve Cox

The Samoans are Samu and Fatu with Buddy Roberts as the Freebirds are split up for awhile here. Cox is a no name and this is all WCCW. Cox and Hayes are the only team to beat the Samoans ever and they’ve traded the titles for the last few months. Cox’s nickname is Do It To It. The 80s were a weird time to say the least. The rows of empty seats are kind of funny.

Hayes and Fatu start us off and Marshall can’t tell them apart either. Oh ok he called him Fatu. That helps some. Cox and Hayes work on the arm and it’s so weird to see Hayes as a face. Fatu misses a cross body and it’s back to the arm. Off to Samu as Hayes plays cheerleader. Heel miscommunication sends Fatu to the floor. Cox goes after him and eats table, shifting the momentum.

Big brawl breaks out and Roberts is able to get in a shot to Cox before sending him back inside. Samu slams him face first and the beating continues. Fatu (Rikishi) comes in off the top and Cox plays Ricky Morton for awhile. There’s a hot shot to Cox but a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag to Hayes and everything breaks down. Cox and Fatu go to the floor as Hayes gets the DDT. Roberts comes in and drills Hayes though and Samu steals the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Pretty good tag match here but it’s the late 80s so did you expect anything else? The SST would never lose the titles but would just leave the company, heading to the NWA again. Cox is a total no name and Hayes would be back in the NWA soon after this also I believe. Not bad here and a nice little surprise.

It was soon off to the NWA where the Samoans would participate in a WarGames match at Great American Bash 1989.

WarGames: Freebirds/Samoan Swat Team vs. Road Warriors/Midnight Express/Steve Williams

In case you don’t know the rules: two guys start for five minutes and then we have a coin toss (the heels will win) and the winning team gets to send in another man for a two on one advantage. This lasts for two minutes until the losing team gets to tie it up at two. After two minutes the winning team goes up three to two. You alternate every two minutes until everyone is in there and when everyone is in there, it’s first submission wins it. No pins.

Eaton vs. Garvin starts us off. Williams is still in his Hogan attire here which makes me laugh. As JR puts it, it’s Beautiful vs. Gorgeous in WarGames which got a chuckle out of me. Garvin controls early but it’s not like it means anything. The Freebirds beat the Express in a tournament final to win the world tag titles so there’s your explanation for this part of the feud. This is more or less back and forth with nothing really to report on.

Dangerously, the Samoans’ manager, says that Hayes will be next about 10 times. Eaton controls for the most part and works on the back of the mullet-tastic Garvin before throwing on a Boston Crab. After Dangerously shouts about Hayes being in next, Terry Gordy comes in next. That’s another great example of a great heel manager. He didn’t accomplish anything but he lied BECAUSE HE COULD. So simple yet so effective.

Gordy comes in and it goes badly for Eaton to put it mildly. Garvin has a glove and tape or something or his hand so this is mainly punching and stomping. He eats a lot of cage too as Garvin is mostly fine. Apparently Eaton failed in his mission to hurt him. Williams comes in to even things up and in one of the most mind blowing spot I’ve ever seen, he picks up Gordy, who is probably 290 at the least, and gorilla presses him EIGHT times into the cage. Just insane.

After some more choking the heels get us back to about even for Samu to come in as Eaton is more or less dead. Double fishhook on him by Garvin which looks very painful. Everyone is in one ring and they need to spread it out a bit. Eacon somehow gets back up and holds the heels off a bit until Animal ties it up again. Again they’re all in the same ring and it’s WAY too crowded in there.

Ah there we go as he and Samu head to the other ring. Much better. They hate each other because of a big beatdown the Samoans gave the Road Warriors and then they beat up Ellering, the Road Warriors’ manager. The Warriors cost the Samoans a spot in the finals of the tag tournament, which brings us here. Animal just destroys everyone as Fatu will be in next.

All six in the same ring still and it’s just stupid. There’s (Rikishi) Fatu to make it 4-3. The Samoans beat down Animal as Williams and Gordy are in the other ring now to space things out a bit. Eaton and Garvin are still fighting and here comes Stan Lane to even it up at four apiece again. That leaves Hayes and Hawk as the last two. The Samoans eat metal as Lane cleans house.

Dangerously to Hayes: Ok so when you go in you go over here. Hayes: I GOTTA GO IN???” Dangerously: There’s no one left! Hayes: Dang! Funny stuff. There are 9 people in the match and 9 are in the same ring. Hayes DDTs everyone to take out the faces and then goes off into the other ring to taunt Hawk. The fans want Hawk with one minute left. Hayes drops Eaton with a hard left and here’s the bird man.

Now it’s first submission wins. Hawk cleans house as it is on in a big way. The faces are dominating here as was the custom in WarGames once everyone got in. Dangerously tries to force the phone through the cage and turns around to see a referee with his arms folded looking at him. I need some wawa music there.

Mainly just punching now with nothing of note as far as flow or anything but that’s a good thing here as there isn’t supposed to be anything remotely resembling order. Look at the first name of the match: WAR. Doomsday Device on Gordy is blocked so Hawk kills Garvin with a clothesline and works on his neck, throwing on a hangman (Hawk grabs Garvin for a reverse neckbreaker and lifts him onto his back in a neck crank/choke) which gets the submission to end it.

Rating: B+. Very solid battle in there which was exactly what this was supposed to be. It’s not a classic or one of the best ever but this was quite good for the point of blowing this feud completely off and have all the feuds in there at once. This was effective for what it was supposed to be and the match was as fun as ever. Good match.

The Swat Team would participate in the Iron Man tournament at Starrcade 1989.

Samoan Swat Team vs. Steiner Brothers

Rick and Fatu get things going and it’s time for more SAMOAN YELLING. Rick doesn’t take time to translate and punches Fatu in the face instead. The fans are WAY into the Steiners here. It’s off to Scott for the power of the team with a slam. The Savage comes in and walks into a slam as well as the Steiners take over. The Samoans run to the floor and we get the classic Steiners pose of Rick on all fours and Scott standing over him.

After a conference with the Big Kahuna (that’s so fun to say), it’s back to Savage vs. Scott. Since nothing else has worked, the Samoan goes with the ancient tribal custom of poking him in the eye to take over. A headbutt staggers Scott and it’s off to Fatu for more brawling. The basics of the Samoan offense is as follows: kick, scream, forearm to the back, scream, headbutt, scream. Just picture that combination for about five minutes and you have the majority of this match.

The Savage comes in again and sends Scott into the corner before clotheslining him down for another near fall. The fans are trying to get behind the Steiners but they’re so tired after a show this long and uninteresting. Scott gets choked in the corner by Fatu as the Kahuna distracts the referee. A double headbutt puts Scott down for two but Rick comes in and bites the Savage. It doesn’t seem to have much of an effect as Scott is knocked out to the floor.

Back in and Scott’s sunset flip attempt is broken up before Fatu puts him in a bearhug. We’re under four minutes now as Scott is beginning to fade. The hold takes Scott down to the mat so Rick comes in to break it up, only to cause Scott to be double teamed. Back to the bearhug as the match continues to waste time until we can have extra drama.

A powerslam gets two on Scott with two minutes left. Scott grabs the Frankensteiner out of absolutely nowhere but Fatu tags out before Scott can bring in Rick. Savage misses a splash and there’s the tag, even though the referee didn’t see it. Rick cleans house but Scott throws Fatu over the top rope which is a DQ in WCW.

Rating: D+. Very basic tag match here and nothing all that special. At the end of the day, the Samoans are little more than a gimmick tag team and not much more. The Steiners were still new as a tag team so they weren’t able to carry a team like Fatu and Savage, especially in their fourth match of the night.

After a few years in the independent scene, the Samoan Swat Team would appear in the WWF as the Headshrinkers. Here’s one of their first matches from the 1992 Survivor Series.

Headshrinkers vs. High Energy

High Energy is Owen Hart and Koko B. Ware in really ugly pants. The Headshrinkers don’t get an entrance. I’ve always been a fan of the Samoans so I’m kind of looking forward to this. Samu and Owen start things off with Owen being thrown around pretty easily. Things speed up a bit and Owen avoids a big clothesline and hits a cross body for two. The fans are getting fired up.

Off to Koko who makes Samu miss a right hand which hits Fatu. Koko stomps on Samu’s bare feet but he tries to ram the Headshrinkers’ heads together but THAT DOESN’T WORK ON SAMOANS! No one ever accused Koko of being bright. Afa, the Headshrinker’s manager, CRACKS Koko in the back with his staff and Koko is in trouble immediately. Owen is draw into the ring by some Samoan bragging, only causing Koko to get beaten down even more.

Vince tries to talk about the main events and Heenan says stick to the subject. That’s a new one. Samu hooks a nerve hold on Koko but he’s too dumb to feel pain so it’s a clothesline instead and Ware is still in trouble. A chop gets two and Samu chokes a bit. Samu misses a corner splash and there’s the hot tag to Owen. Owen dropkicks both guys down and hits a top rope cross body on Samu for two. A spinwheel kick takes Fatu (Rikishi) down, only to get caught in a powerslam. Fatu hits a GREAT looking top rope splash to crush Owen and get the easy pin.

Rating: C+. I liked this match a lot more than I should have but I love the Headshrinkers. That top rope splash looked great and Owen sold it like the master that he was at it. Other than that this was a very basic match with power vs. speed and that’s the right choice for an opener. Good stuff here and I liked it a lot.

They would appear at King of the Ring 1993 in an eight man tag.

Steiners/Smoking Guns vs. Money Inc./Headshrinkers

Well, talk about a tough act to follow. This is nothing but filler here as I don’t think there’s any kind of a point to this match other than to give the crowds a chance to restart their hearts. There’s no story here that I can think of other than you have two face teams and two heel teams going at it. The Guns are about as new as possible at this point.

Ross says he doesn’t want to disrespect this match, so therefore we’ll be lucky to hear who wins. It simply can’t be worse than WCW was though. I will never forget a match between Ultimo Dragon and Steven Regal where literally over the entire course of an eight minute match there was not a single mention of either guy or the match itself until the very end where Tony said 2, 3 (he missed the one) we have a new Television Champion!

Yes, in a match not only on television, not only a title match, but a match where the title CHANGED HANDS, thereby making history as Gorilla liked to say, we have eight minutes of people talking about the NWO and not a word about the two guys in the ring. That’s just pathetic. Anyway, rant over. Scotty and Ted start us up so there we are. To say Heenan is happy is an understatement.

Now remember, we’re NOT going to talk about Yoko and the title match out of respect here. If we don’t talk about them anymore I’m going to scream from hearing about them too much. Ross is at least talking about the match so there’s that. DiBiase beats on Billy and hooks the Dream. Heenan says that Billy is fading into obscurity. I have too many jokes to pick from here. Billy gets a roll up out of nowhere to get the pin and the big brawl starts to the Guns’ awful music.

Rating: C. Eh what do you expect here? This was six minutes of just filler and it’s the absolute best thing they could have done here. No one was going to care about anything after what they just saw, so there we are. This meant nothing at all and it wasn’t supposed to. The wrestling is about what you would expect at a house show, but it wasn’t horrible or anything. This was much more about giving the crowd a breather instead of a real match, and there’s not a thing wrong with that.

We’ll skip ahead a year to King of the Ring 1994 when the Headshrinkers had won the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: Headshrinkers vs. Crush/Yokozuna

Oh this isn’t going to be good is it? Crush is somehow the most athletic guy in there. The Shrinkers are the faces here and the champion as this match has zero context at all and is the epitome of a token title match. Geez we have Cornette, Fuji, Albano and Afa out there as the 80s circle of B-list managers is complete. Before you freak, yes I know Cornette was the top manager in Crockett but it’s my line so get over it.

Anyway, this really isn’t very good at all and I’m a fan of 75% of the wrestlers in this. Yoko actually loses a headbutting contest. That has never happened that I know of. Naturally there are a ton of botches in here as anyone would expect from these guys. This match, much like this show, is just dragging on and on. The heels take over like everyone expected them to.

They’re using the Colossal Connection formula where Crush is playing Haku and doing most of the work. Yoko isn’t up to the size of Andre yet but he’s getting there. Surprisingly there’s limited interference from a ton of one time heel managers out there.

Anyway, Crush beats up on Samu and hits a legdrop because Hogan is gone and everyone can use that move again since it’s a rather generic move to use. But heeeeeere’s Luger doing the only thing he knows how to do as he’s being annoying again. After a missed rollup, Fatu comes in and gets the rollup correctly for the pin. Weird ending.

Rating: C-. Like I said, this was a token title match. It wasn’t that bad but a lot of this grade is because I like most of the people in there. Ok correction I like one team but not the people on it (screw you Rikishi. Like we were going to buy you as top heel). The styles completely clashed here and while it was an ok match, it wasn’t ever going to be anything great, just like everything else on this show.

The team would split later in the year with Samu leaving. This left Fatu on his own, including in this match at In Your House IV.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Fatu

The undefeated Helmsley would eventually go just by his initials while Fatu would become Rikishi. At the moment though he’s trying to Make A Difference with wayward kids. To say the gimmick didn’t work very well is an understatement. Helmsley has a bottle of perfume to spray on Fatu but gets punched in the face for his efforts. Fatu takes him into the corner and pounds away, sending Helmsley to the floor before he can get his shirt off.

Back in and Fatu is sent face first into the turnbuckle to no effect whatsoever, so HHH throws him into the ropes with Fatu’s neck getting tied up in the cables. Helmsley pounds away at the tied up Fatu before dropping him with a piledriver. The shirt is finally off about three minutes into the match and Helmsley walks around for awhile. A neckbreaker puts Fatu down for two and a knee drop gets the same.

We hit the chinlock on Fatu, who looks to be nearly dead as a result. Back up and a clothesline turns Fatu inside out for another two count. A Pedigree is countered with a backdrop and Fatu scores with a superkick. Fatu hits a backbreaker to set up a middle rope headbutt for another two count. Lawler is losing his mind watching Helmsley get beaten up like this. A running Diamond Cutter puts Helmsley down again but Fatu misses the top rope splash, allowing Helmsley to hit the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad despite Helmsley still being a glorified rookie. Fatu wasn’t completely huge yet so he could move around the ring far better than he would be able to later in his career. This wasn’t the best choice to open a show with but Fatu was popular enough to keep it from killing the crowd.

Fatu would fall through the floor after this, basically becoming a jobber. After a few months away, he would be repackaged as The Sultan and receive an Intercontinental Title match at Wrestlemania XIII.

Intercontinental Title: Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan

Maivia is defending. Sultan is more famous as Rikishi and has Bob Backlund and Iron Sheik in his corner. Lawler tells Honky not to pick Rocky for his protege because there’s no future there. So much for the Memphis school system. Rocky starts off fast and knocks Sultan out to the floor. The managers try to calm the big man down but Rocky goes after him, only to wind up clotheslining the post.

Back in and Sultan runs him over with a clothesline of his own. He throws Rocky into the corner by the throat and hits another clothesline for two. Off to a nerve hold as Honky rants about how he already would have defended the title and been in the back combing his hair. Sultan goes up and hits a top rope headbutt for no cover. So we have a Samoan portraying an Arabian but hitting a headbutt to another Samoan. I’m so racially confused.

Rocky tries a sunset flip but Sultan grabs him by the throat to block. A belly to belly gets two and we hit the chinlock. The fans are very restless with this and rightly think it’s boring. Rocky fights up but they clothesline each other to stop things from getting interesting. Sultan starts pounding away again but Rocky starts feeling the soul and makes his comeback.

Maivia snaps off some punches to Sultan and gets two off a belly to belly suplex. The spinning DDT that Rocky doesn’t use anymore puts Sultan down and there’s his top rope cross body (finisher at the time) but the Sheik has the referee. Sultan gets up and hits a superkick for a very close two. A piledriver gets another two count for Sultan but Rocky grabs a rollup out of nowhere for the retaining pin.

Rating: D+. This got better by the end but man alive was it dull for the most part. It just kept going and Sultan didn’t have enough enough to make a match like this work. Rocky would get WAY better and the jump he’s made since Survivor Series to this point is remarkable. The fans would start to hate him though, which wound up being exactly what he needed all along.

Much like Making a Difference Fatu, the Sultan wouldn’t last either. He would disappear in 1998 and go to Texas for more training with Terry Funk. Fatu would return as Rikishi in late 1999 and quickly align himself with Too Cool. This led to a big push and a major tag match on Raw, February 7, 2000.

HHH/X-Pac/Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn vs. Cactus Jack/The Rock/???/???/???

Before the bell rings, Rikishi and Too Cool come out to even the odds. It’s a wild brawl to start and I’m not even going to try to call it. Rock and HHH are fighting on the ramp as Benoit and Cactus head into the crowd (DANG that could have been an awesome feud). Stephanie is on commentary and the fans are blowing the roof off the place. Grandmaster and X-Pac get things going and Sexay misses a middle rope knee drop.

Off to Saturn and Scotty, the latter of whom has a bandage around his head. He loads up the Worm (with five hops instead of four) but Malenko interferes before Scotty can cover. A big old suplex puts Scotty down and Dean comes in legally. Scotty gets in a shot and brings in Rikishi who runs Dean over. Off to Benoit who charges right into a Samoan Drop. He can’t suplex Rikishi but Benoit pounds on his back and is all like oh yeah boy you’re going and suplexes Rikishi down.

Jack comes in and pounds Benoit down into the corner. This is one of the hottest crowds I’ve ever seen. Jack goes for HHH and they head to the announce table. Saturn and Pac have to save HHH from death and we head back inside. HHH stomps Jack down in the corner and shoves the referee away. Off to Pac who almost immediately walks into a neckbreaker to take him down.

Hot tag brings in Rock and it’s spinebusters all around. Pac takes a Rock Bottom for two as HHH saves. Saturn kicks Rock down but Rock is having none of this Bronco Buster nonsense. Grandmaster hits the Hip Hop Drop but Pac gets up and kicks the goggles off Sexay’s head. HHH comes in again with the flying knee and it’s off to Saturn and Benoit for some double teaming.

Benoit suplexes Sexay down for two and it’s back to HHH. The heels are tagging incredibly fast. Grandmaster hits a double DDT out of nowhere on Benoit and HHH. There’s the hot tag to Cactus but the referee didn’t see it. Everything breaks down and HHH hits the Pedigree on Grandmaster followed by the Swan Dive from Benoit for the pin.

Rating: B. This seems like a match where the crowd reaction carried it to a higher level which is fine. It’s certainly better than I remember but it’s not as good as I’ve seen some people make it out to be. Anyway, you could see the great matches coming and this would give Too Cool a nice push, resulting in their only tag title run a few months after this.

Here’s a smaller tag match from Judgment Day 2000.

Too Cool/Rikishi vs. Edge/Christian/Kurt Angle

Angle is fresh and as goofy as ever here and I love it. He’s “all that” according to various teenage girls. He gives a nursery rhyme about chastity and “not shacking up with a bunch of guys, but stay pure by following his three I’s”. I love Angle from this era. Edge and Christian are tag champions here and bring out some bags. The mispronounce the name of the town and have a new Five Second Pose. They bust out banjos for one called Jug Band The out of context visual here is great.

Crowd pops BIG for Too Cool. Or is that for Rikishi? Their music is catchy if nothing else. The heels jump the dancers and it’s on. That doesn’t last long as Rikishi and his lackies clear the ring. Too Cool beats down Edge for a bit. Apparently Stephanie was in Shawn’s locker room earlier in the day and left smiling. I’m not sure how Becca would feel about that.

Scotty vs. Christian now with Scotty in control. Too Cool does some double teaming and Edge tries to emulate it, resulting in him getting crotched on the top rope. Grandmaster starts dancing and his pants fall down. Oh dear. Off to Rikishi now as this is moving a bit too fast for my tastes. Rikishi tries to drop his fat on Kurt but missed, giving Team ECK (Edge, Christian, Kurt, which is their actual name and not something I made up) the advantage.

Angle beats him down in the corner and the champions add in a beating of their own. Rikishi remembers he’s an upper midcard guy and fights them off to bring in Scotty. Edge illegally comes in so of course the referee believes that he made the tag. Off to Kurt and Scotty actually beats him down a bit. Crowd is all over Kurt here. Christian beats on Scotty for a bit as they’re tagging in and out that fast.

Scotty sets for a powerbomb and drops Christian back into a hot shot to bring in Rikishi. Is Grandmaster crippled or something? Can he just not come in at all? All three heels get stacked up in the corner and are splashed at once. Stinkface to Angle makes Lawler scream. Angle and Christian tries a DDT on Rikishi for no adequately explored reason and the fat man hits Kurt again.

Edge spears Rikishi down, being the only one with some intelligence on his team. He gets bulldogged down and it’s the Worm. And so much for that as Christian pops Rikishi with the bell. Grandmaster FINALLY does something by dropping the leg off the top to break up the easy pin and putting Scotty on Edge for the pin.

Rating: C+. This isn’t anything too bad and was a decent enough opener. It’s a fairly fast paced six man with some fun comedy spots and popular guys in there. This sums up this generation pretty well: I’m currently redoing the Mania reviews and am doing #13 at the moment. This match was more exciting than all but one match on that show and arguably a second. Let that sink in for a bit.

Rikishi would win the Intercontinental Title and enter the 2000 King of the Ring tournament.

KOTR Finals: Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle

The fans are burned out on these guys as you would expect them to be. We start on the floor of course. The stink face is blocked thank goodness. This could be on any Raw or Smackdown, which doesn’t say much to me. The one arm thing doesn’t make a lot of sense but it’s something I guess. Angle gets the stink face of course because that’s just so cool of a move right? Angle slam gets two.

Rikishi makes the comeback, including a freaking diamond cutter of all things, but takes a belly to belly off the second rope that I think was supposed to look a lot better than it did but the powers of the fat trump the powers of America and it’s just ok. That gives the crown to Kurt, and of course the ceremony’s tomorrow night, since that makes SO much freaking sense right? This reminded me of Razor vs. Owen in 94.

There was just NO FREAKING WAY Owen could lose it and it killed any heat the match had. Also, you have Jericho, Guerrero and Benoit available to be in the finals vs. Angle, yet the 400lb Samoan in a thong gets the spot? See what I mean when I say Vince doesn’t get it a lot of the time?

Rating: D+. This was exactly what you would expect these two to do, but it just wasn’t entertaining at all. Rikishi simply wasn’t any good and that was the problem. The size never worked at all as no one, not even greats like Austin or Angle could do anything with him because of the freaking size. It cut Kurt, a power guy, off here too and that’s just not a good thing whatsoever.

Rikishi would lose the title to Val Venis but get a chance at a rematch at Fully Loaded 2000.

Intercontinental Title: Rikishi vs. Val Venis

We’re in a cage here. Fink makes sure to point that out despite the BIG FREAKING CAGE around the ring. Apparently Tazz cost Rikishi the title a few weeks ago for reasons unexplained. Also Venis beat up Scotty, which apparently justifies this being in a cage.

Trish is Val’s manager here and is dressed in her more traditional attire here, meaning she still looks great. Apparently Rikishi gave Trish a stink face to start this. Lawler says can you imagine someone putting their fat in her face? There’s a bit of wishful sounding in his voice there. Lawler isn’t sure if this is no holds barred. Seriously? He follows this up by asking what happened to that long hair Val had? Ross: “well King I would assume he got it cut.” I love Ross at times. They’re rare but they exist.

Rikishi, ever the Rhodes Scholar, tries to climb over the top instead of going through the door like anyone with a freaking mind. Why do faces have to have so much stupid pride like that? Val takes over with some bad shots to the cage. To be fair though he’s having to deal with something that has its own gravitational force.

He hits a low blow to block a stink face and then hits a weird looking move that I think was supposed to be a bulldog but turned into more or less a forearm to the back of the head. I think it was a semi botch by one of them but I’m not sure. Rikishi of course does his inside out bump.

Val, also an idiot, goes up the cage as well instead of through the door. My goodness how hard is it to just walk through the thing? They fight on the top rope which Val wins, but with Rikishi down in the position for Val’s finisher, does he go for it? Of course not. Why should he when he can walk the ropes and hit an elbow instead? Val almost gets out but is caught by the fat that blocked out the sun.

They mess up badly though as Rikishi’s head is hurt by ramming it into the cage. He’s a Samoan so therefore his head can’t be hurt. Come on now people don’t you know your stereotypes yet? Val is bleeding and thankfully we don’t go to black and white to hide that. A Banzai Drop gets two as Val gets his foot on the ropes. Great, so in a match with no rules and where anything goes, the ropes are still allowed to break things up. That makes sense.

Thanks to Trish again ignoring all racial stereotypes and slamming the door on Rikishi’s head, the Money Shot gets two. Lita bounces down to the ring and whips Trish with the belt and rips her top off. The beating goes to the back as somehow this is less pointless than modern wrestling. We then get the spot of the night as Rikishi goes up top, and I mean to the top of the cage and dives off, completely crushing Val.

Do Samoans have a fetish for jumping off cages or something? This looked completely amazing and on the replay they mess up worse than I’ve ever seen as the camera totally misses Rikishi. I mean you see no wrestlers and only cage the whole shot. It’s rather funny actually. Since the referee is down from an earlier bump though, there’s no one to count. As Rikishi goes for the door, Tazz comes down and nails him with a camera so Val can pin him.

What the heck man? What’s the point in a huge bump like that unless you change the title with it? That’s just stupid. Oh yeah it’s a Rikishi match so it’s not supposed to make sense. How this guy would become top heel in about 3 months baffles me to no end.

Rating: B-. The match was fine, but seriously, what was the point of the huge spot if Val keeps the title? I know that’s what happened in MSG back in the 80s, but that was legendary whereas this was more or less forgotten a few weeks later. I don’t get it at all. The match was your run of the mill cage match otherwise though as I still hate pins in one of these. It’s not that hard to find a way for one of the guys to get out is it? That bump was INSANE though.

Then Rikishi revealed that he ran over Steve Austin a year ago because WWF didn’t want to make money with the story. This led to a fight at No Mercy 2000.

Steve Austin vs. Rikishi

This is no rules of course as Austin pointed out that he didn’t want a match but to hurt Rikishi which makes sense. Austin’s line of “this match is going to take brutality to a whole other level” is the iconic line here but it didn’t quite live up to it. No Austin yet remember. Rikishi comes out with the sledgehammer as I guess they’re foreshadowing the HHH involvement.

Rikishi demands that Foley come out here and declare him the winner. And before anything happens here comes Austin with truck. No reason for why he’s late or anything but why would we need that? It’s the same truck that Rikishi destroyed with the hammer. Austin is in shorts and the t-shirt which fits I think. Rikishi goes into the table as this is just a big fight.

Ross thinks Rikishi has no heart. Wouldn’t that mean he’s like dead? They’re in the crowd already as they never were in the ring at all. Austin whips him with his belt as this is just a big brawl. There just happens to be a rope under the ring but Austin goes over the table. It’s no sold of course and HE’S IN THE RING! And so much for that. Big chairshot takes the fat man down and I think he’s busted open.

Austin throws on JR’s hat for no apparent reason and wears Rikishi out with the chair. He knocks the Samoan into the back of the truck and drives the truck out of the arena. This isn’t going to end well is it? Austin puts Rikishi in front of a wall and backs up the truck but a cop car drives in front of it for the save. He gets arrested for old time’s sake.

Rating: D-. Yeah this failed. It was a big old brawl ending with the bad truck thing. The problem was that at the end of the day the Rikishi was way too fat and way too bad as a heel to be worth much. This feud bombed and everyone knew it which is why at Survivor Series Austin dropped HHH from a forklift instead of a Samoan.

Rikishi’s main event push didn’t last long but did include this awesome match at Armageddon 2000.

WWF Title: HHH vs. The Rock vs. Undertaker vs. Steve Austin vs. Rikishi vs. Kurt Angle

Angle is champion here. I remember the buildup for this and the question being who would take the huge bump. It more or less came down to Rock or HHH as Taker was too big, Rikishi was too big and Austin/Angle both had far too bad necks to take the risk. Rikishi is just so freaking worthless that it’s amazing. Angle comes out third which is kind of weird.

If I remember right Chyna made fun of his attire here as he complained about his package looking too small. Rikishi is mad at Angle for beating him up on Smackdown due to that alliance being broken. I think this is the debut of Rollin as Taker’s theme song. Rock walks straight in as Angle is staying outside for awhile. There are like 6 referees in there keeping people from fighting each other before the match starts. Austin gets a HUGE pop since we’re in the deep south. He throws Angle in and we’re on.

The match has to end in the cage. I’ll do what I can to keep track of what’s going on here but don’t count on much. Angle vs. Taker, Samoan violence and Austin vs. HHH if you’re curious. Lawler evaluates the talent in there at a billion dollars. And people wonder why the USWA went out of business. Leaping knee takes Austin down. We’re just standing around at the moment as we wait on the big thing to happen, likely involving vince. Rock beats on Angle in the ring while the other four fight on the floor.

And now there’s no one in the ring. Ok then. Ah make that Angle/Rock again. This really would have been perfect for the Chamber if it had existed at the time. They overhype everything here as it’s decent but really just a lot of punching so far. HHH gets rubbed into the cage by Austin. Lawler: Don’t rip his nose off! This really isn’t that interesting at all. A bloody HHH hits the Pedigree on Rikishi and Rock saves. I think that’s the first cover of the match.

Finishers a go-go in the ring and everyone saves. After some more basic stuff, Vince and the Stooges come down with a freaking hay truck and says he’s going to tear the cage down. There goes the door and you know what’s coming now. Foley comes down and runs the three guys off, saying the match is going to happen. HHH is outside and Austin follows him.

They fight up by the cars and everyone else comes up there too. Austin hits him with a boom camera and winds up going through a window to bust him open. Pedigree on Rock onto a car. Isn’t the point of a Cell match for the to stay in the Cell? Rock is bleeding….kind of. Ah that’s more like it. Ross oversells everything here, making it sound like it’s the best match ever or something like that. HHH takes a slingshot into a car in a cool looking spot.

Taker and Angle go back to the ring area and it’s all Taker. A chair shot busts him open as HHH and Austin climb the cage. They fight on top and HHH teases the big drop. Angle comes up too to get away from Taker. Stunner on the roof and Taker is up there now too. Rock and Rikishi are the only two not up there at this point. Angle is bleeding now and HHH climbs down to HUGE booing. Austin follows which makes sense.

And here come the Samoans. Taker gets a chair on top somehow and hits a SICK shot to Angle’s head. The fat man hits Taker though and stands tall. It’s just hard take him seriously in that thong though. Rock is on the floor as I don’t think he was ever up top. Angle gets down and it’s the two big men left. They slug it out near the edge over the truck and in the words of Mark Madden: FLY FAT MAN FLY! Austin stops dead to see what the thud was, as does Rock. Austin’s face is the most interesting part here actually.

The roof goes off as Austin and Rock slug it out. You knew that was Mania right there. What we didn’t know was that it would top off the best PPV of all time. Rock actually wins the fight and sets for the elbow. Cue HHH for the save as I wonder how we never got the triple threat with these three guys. Rock Bottom to Angle but Austin saves. Stunner to Rock and we get a back flip, but HHH takes out Austin with a neckbreaker, allowing Kurt to put his hand on Rock to retain and shock everyone kind of, ending the show.

Rating: B. This was good but a far cry from the other Cell matches. Like I said, this was perfect for the Chamber but this was still a big match. The first half or so is really weak until we get to all the finishers, but even then we were waiting on it to turn into the big war. Vince and the truck did that and once that happened it really took off and was the match I think they were shooing for. It’s good but it’s not a classic. Meltzer allegedly said it was a match of the year candidate. Must have been a very weak class that year if that’s the case.

After a bad tag team with Haku, Rikishi would miss a lot of 2001 with an injury. We’ll pick things up at Judgment Day 2002 with him back in the tag division.

Tag Titles: Rikishi/??? vs. Billy/Chuck

The partner for Rikishi will be announced in a bit. To the shock of no one, the partner is Billy and Chuck’s manager/stylist Rico. Billy vs. Rikishi to start us off here. DDT does nothing of course and Rikishi takes over. This is when there was only one set of titles at the time. Chuck comes in and hammers away which gets him nowhere for the most part. Suplex gets two.

The idea here is that Rico will lay down for his buddies so they can keep the titles so Rikishi is more or less in a handicap match. Belly to belly by Rikishi gets two. Billy comes in and gets beaten up by Rikishi too. Rico is just chilling on the apron at the moment. Dropkick by Chuck puts Rikishi down. Rico tries to help Chuck and accidently drops Chuck, giving him and Rikishi the titles.

Rating: D. Was there any point to this other than to give the crowd a breather? No? I didn’t think so. Moving on here as there’s nothing to say here. The title reign meant nothing if you didn’t guess.

For some reason WWE thought we needed Piper vs. Snuka again, but it modern times. Here’s how they started getting there at Backlash 2003.

Sean O’Haire vs. Rikishi

O’Haire was a guy with A TON of potential and an awesome looking gimmick that was similar to a devil’s advocate who said that everyone knew they did wrong things, but what’s so bad about that? Look up the promos as they’re really cool. Then he was put into a feud about Piper vs. Hogan and became Piper’s lackey and had his push ruined. This match is happening because of Piper hitting Snuka with a coconut almost 20 years ago.

Rikishi controls to start but Piper offers a distraction to shift momentum. O’Haire hooks on a chinlock as this match stops very quickly. Piper plays to the crowd and gets them to boo him, because keeping the focus on the guys in the ring isn’t a good idea right? O’Haire misses a spin kick and Rikishi splashes him in the corner. Sean escapes the Stink Face and Piper gets in the ring. He brings in the coconut but both guys hit kicks at the same time. Piper gets in again but Rikishi cracks the coconut over his head. O’Haire picks Rikishi up and hits the reverse Death Valley Driver for the pin.

Rating: D-. Piper sucked the life out of O’Haire at this point because no one was interested in Piper vs. Rikishi, which is what this was really about. Piper would be gone a few months later and O’Haire’s push would die. The Devil’s Advocate character was never mentioned again and we lost a ton of great potential. But hey, Piper got some TV time out of it right?

Another year, another tag team. From Wrestlemania XX.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Too Cool vs. Basham Brothers vs. World’s Greatest Tag Team vs. APA

That would be Scotty and Rikishi who are defending coming in. One fall to a finish again. Bradshaw and Shelton start things off with the Texan taking him down with a shoulder and getting two off an elbow drop. Doug Basham comes in to beat up Shelton now and it’s off to Danny. Shelton tags in Haas for a slam onto Haas’ knee in a cool spot. Scotty comes in to fight Charlie as this is going nowhere.

In another creative spot, Scotty skins the cat but lands in the Shelton jumps over Charlie’s back to land on Scotty for two. Charlie tags off to Doug for a kick to Scotty’s face. The hot tag brings in Rikishi to clean house and knocks Shelton to the floor to break up the German suplex. Charlie gets a Stinkface and Bradshaw launches Doug to the floor with a fallaway slam. There’s the Clothesline to Danny but Bradshaw walks into a Samoan Drop. Rikishi sits on Danny to end it and retain.

Rating: D. Whatever man. Seriously, I wouldn’t have remembered this match if you put a gun to my head, just like with the other tag title match. They’re just not interesting at all and there was nothing here to remember at all. There needed to be just one set of tag belts at this point and these matches make it painfully obvious.

Rikishi would leave the company soon after this and head to Europe where he performed and booked. We’ll get in two return appearances, including one on Raw, July 16, 2012.

Heath Slater vs. Rikishi

Kish looks decent. Thankfully he’s wearing a t-shirt here which is probably a telling sign for him. Slater sings a bit, takes a superkick, the Stink Face and a Samoan Spike of all things. Rump Shaker ends this at 1:11. See, THIS is how you do nostalgia. Not by having Dusty and Piper come out every three months.

And one more on January 6, 2014’s Raw.

3MB vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

This is as obvious of a match as you can get. Grandmaster and Jinder get things going with Grandmaster scoring with a quick dropkick. Off to Scotty who is still in good shape but gets punched down by McIntyre. Drew misses a charge in the corner and the bulldog sets up the WORM. Slater robs us of our gratification though and 3MB takes over again. The announcers spend the entire match arguing over whether Too Cool can be called the Hip Hop Twins, thereby making the whole thing about them instead of the legends.

Scotty clotheslines McIntyre down and makes the hot tag to Rikishi who looks incredibly slow. He does manage a superkick to Mahal for two but Slater makes the save. Rikishi clotheslines two Band members down and the Hip Hop Drop takes out McIntyre. Mahal tries a sunset flip on Rikishi but gets sat on for the pin at 5:24.

Rating: D+. The match sucked and the commentary was annoying, but this is exactly what modern nostalgia should be about. Too Cool is an act that’s old enough for people to reminisce but not old enough that they embarrass themselves in the ring. Nobody is hurt, the fans get to have a fun moment and everybody wins. Good stuff.

Rikishi is a one note character in the WWF and made quite a career for himself. When you’re a part of that Samoan family, good things are almost bound to happen to you. His matches weren’t all that great, but he was as good as you could get for an opening match that could fire up a crowd. The heel turn bombed but the fans accepted him again immediately after. He’s very talented, questionable gimmicks aside.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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ATTEN-HUT! Today is Sgt. Slaughter.

Pat Patterson vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Patterson is in street clothes and the brawl is on as soon as Slaughter gets inside. A series of kicks puts Sarge down and Patterson chokes him in the corner. Slaughter misses a big right hand and hits the post, sending him to the apron. Back in and it’s time for a whipping from Patterson with Slaughter selling it like he’s been shot. Slaughter finally sends him through the ropes and onto the apron to get a breather but Pat is right back with belt shots to the back.

Sarge finally gets in a blow to the ribs and takes the belt before sending Patterson throat first into the top rope. He wraps the belt across Pat’s mouth and rips Patterson’s shirt off for good measure. More choking ensues but Pat charges at the ropes to send Slaughter out to the floor. Slaughter tries to come back in off the top but only hits the mat to put both guys down.

Patterson slams him down and drops a middle rope knee before hitting the same sequence again. He bites Slaughter’s forehead but Sarge kicks him in the gut and drops a few knees of his own to take over again. A kick to the head with the combat boot puts Patterson down again and Slaughter launches him to the floor. Back in and Pat punches at the ribs before catapulting Slaughter into the post, causing his forehead to burst open. It looks like he was stabbed to draw that much blood.

Pat goes after the cut but a low blow puts him back down. Slaughter pulls out brass knuckles but can’t see Pat after knocking him out. His face looks like Ultimate Warrior’s paint job. Patterson is back up and wins a slugout before hitting him in the head with a cowboy boot. Slaughter still has the knuckles on his hand. Another boot shot has Slaughter reeling and a third puts him down. Sarge is knocked into the post and onto the floor where he takes out a cameraman. The crowd is LOVING this. Pat just unloads with the boot until the Grand Wizard (Slaughter’s manager) throws in a towel to stop it. Sarge wanted to keep fighting.

Rating: A. Great great fight here with Slaughter’s blade job being one for the books. This was as brutal as you’re going to get for this era and the fans ate it up. One of the key things here is that Slaughter got to save face at the end with the Wizard throwing in the towel to stop it. Patterson rose up to fight the evil guy, which is what a hero is supposed to do. Great stuff here.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to October 17, 1983, still in MSG.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ivan Putski

Slaughter is EVIL. LONG stall to start as Slaughter doesn’t want to lock up with him. After about two minutes they lock up and Putski uses one of his signature moves: a headlock. It’s not an 80’s thing. It would still be boring by any standards. We’re three and a half minutes into this and we’ve had a headlock as our entire offense. Putski runs him over and puts on a chinlock. This is going to be really dull isn’t it?

Slaughter gets rammed into the post and Putski is in full control. Sarge finally hits an atomic drop but hurts his own knee on it. He manages to come off the middle rope but that leg is bothering him. This has to be legit as there’s no reason for him to sell like this. Slaughter “charges” at him in the corner but hits the post again head first. He manages to hook the Cobra Clutch but Putski makes the rope. Ivan comes back with a bunch of right hands….and one hits the referee for the lame DQ.

Rating: D. A lot of this was because of the knee injury as it would seem they went home early. That being said, the stuff before the injury was really bad with the vast majority of it being a headlock and punches. The early 80s were never really know for workrate and you can see that here very clearly. Putski just wasn’t that good.

Still in MSG on January 23, 1984, the night Hogan won the title.

Ivan Putski vs. Sgt. Slaughter

We get the shot from the back as Sarge comes out. I miss that camera shot. I think Slaughter is a heel here but he seems rather popular anyway. Putski, who might be 5’8 in heels, starts firing off punches but Sarge bails to the corner. They circle each other a bit more with no contact yet. Putski is small but he is RIPPED (and pretty clearly full of steroids). They finally collide with Putski shoving him around and slamming the Sarge down to stall some more.

Ivan hooks a headlock as Patterson talks about Putski loving to drink and sing. Back to the headlock as this is going slowly again. Slaughter finally comes out with an atomic drop and works on the back for a bit. That doesn’t last long though as Slaughter gets rammed into the top turnbuckle and may have been busted open in the process. Slaughter gets sent shoulder first into the post as Patterson says to stay on top of him. Is that what he got to do after the Alley Fight?

Slaughter reverses a whip into the corner and comes back with the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) to take over but he can’t slam Putski. Ivan is billed at 225lbs and Slaughter can’t slam him? The Cannon misses and Putski comes back with the Polish Hammer (double ax to the chest) and a shoulder to send Slaughter to the floor. In a funny bit, Sarge’s chin gets caught on the bottom rope to keep him from hitting the concrete. They fight on the apron and Putski knocks Slaughter back inside, which lets Slaughter beat the count and win by countout.

Rating: D. Another dull match here as is the custom for 1984. Putski just wasn’t that good and he looked freaky to say the least. He was just too muscular for someone his size and it never quite worked. Slaughter would go to the AWA pretty soon after this and stay for years until coming back around 1990 to be the turncoat American.

One more time, on September 22, 1984.

Adrian Adonis/Dick Murdoch/Lou Albano vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Wild Samoans

Before the match Albano says that this is due to him being accused of being a biased referee against the Samoans and the Sarge. Adonis and Murdoch are tag champions. Albano sneaks in a foreign object because that’s what he does. After a LONG stall we’re ready for the opening bell. We finally start with Afa vs. Murdoch and they trade full nelsons. It must drive Murdoch nuts to be in there against Afa as Murdoch was a member of the KKK.

That goes nowhere so here’s Adonis instead. Everything breaks down and Albano walks out like the coward he is, leaving this as a handicap match. Slaughter chases after him but comes back a few seconds later. The tag champions try to ram the Samoans’ heads together which has as little effect as you would expect it to have. Albano is back at ringside as we’ve barely had any wrestling in the first five minutes.

Adonis and Murdoch double team Sika until Albano comes in for some shots with that foreign object. Sika snaps up and it’s very quickly off to Murdoch again as we’re firmly in a comedy match at this point. Dick tries the elbow to the head and injures himself in the process. The tag champions are rammed together and Murdoch gets caught in the wrong corner. Albano is offered a chance to come in and says no way. He claims to have a bad back and sends Adonis in to face Sika.

Actually make that Sarge to a big pop and a knee drop to Adonis’ head. Murdoch is knocked to the floor as well but Slaughter goes after Albano, allowing the heels to take Slaughter down. Murdoch hits Slaughter with something from the announce table and Gorilla is freaking out. Back in and Adonis puts on a sleeper but the Samoans make the save. Off to more triple teaming in the corner and a back elbow to the face for two for Murdoch.

Adonis comes back in with a top rope elbow for two before Dick comes in to rip at Slaughter’s face. Slaughter finally gets in a shot to the face and it’s off to Sika who is dropped with a double back elbow from the champions. Albano comes in for some cheap shots but once again Sika snaps up and Lou runs away. Sika gets in a headbutt on Murdoch and it’s off to Afa. Not that the tag means much though as he is caught in a front facelock by Murdoch.

Adrian slams Sika down for two and hits a missile dropkick (a high spot in this era) for two. A top rope splash misses Afa but Murdoch breaks up a tag attempt. Afa gets in a big headbutt and it’s off to Slaughter as everything breaks down. Adonis gets tied up in the ropes so Sika and Slaughter pick up Murdoch and harpoons him into Adonis’ chest. A dropkick gets one for Slaughter and there are some headbutts by Sika.

Adonis breaks up a near fall and it’s back to Afa. Adrian gets a tag but walks into a bunch of headbutts to put him right back down. Slaughter rams Murdoch’s head into Sika’s and it’s off to Albano vs. Sarge. The Cobra Clutch is quickly put on but Adonis makes the save. Lou brings in the exhausted Murdoch as Sarge and Albano leave. Everything breaks down and Sarge runs in to slam Murdoch off the top for the pin.

Rating: C. This took awhile to get into but once it got going things improved a lot. The story makes sense as the tag champions can hang with the Samoans in a two on two match but when you give them Slaughter against the worthless Albano, Murdoch and Adonis are outmatched. It’s too long at 20 minutes but it’s not as bad as I was expecting it to be.

Slaughter would head to the AWA when Hogan rose to such prominence. Here he is at Superclash 1985.

AWA American’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Boris Zhukov

Guess who the champion is. Boris jumps the champ to start but Sarge uses the powers of American to get control. The camera jumps to the crowd for some reason. Back to Slaughter destroying Boris, sending the shoulder into the post. They head to the floor and Zhukov slams him onto the mound. Boris controls with basic heel tactics back in the ring. Swinging neckbreaker gets two.

There are three matches left after this one and I don’t think I could take anything longer than that. This show has completely drained me. Out to the floor again and Boris slams him on the announce table. A piledriver out there is countered and Boris is slammed off the top back in. Nelson says the ring shifted an inch and then a foot. Dropkick by Sarge puts Boris down and he loads up the Cannon. The Cannon (short clothesline) hits the referee instead and Boris hits him with a loaded elbow pad. Sarge is busted and as the referee checks on it, Boris shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. My mind is numb at this point. These matches mean nothing and we’re getting one cheap finish after another. Also the insane amount of punch/kick matches are making this unbearable. There hasn’t been a single match that I would call good and we’re over two hours into it. This needs to get done because it’s too late to be saved. This match was just another on the pile tonight.

And Wrestlerock 1986.

AWA America’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Kamala

Slaughter is champion and is WAY over. He’s pretty much the most popular guy in the company, which is why he never got the world title. I mean, Heaven forbid the fans decide who the top guy is. That’s one thing that needs to be remembered about the AWA: yes Vince took a lot of their talent, but it was Gagne that screwed up a lot of stuff. If he had just given the title to Hogan like the people were SCREAMING for, Hogan wouldn’t have left.

Oh yeah the match. As usual with Kamala matches, he uses REALLY boring offense like you would see from any fat guy, including but not limited to chops, something resembling punches, shots to the throat, and a stomach claw. Slaughter makes his comeback, Kamala hits him some more, Slaughter Cannon, Kim Chee runs in for the DQ. Short and nothing of note at all.

And Superclash III.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. Colonel DeBeers

This is a boot camp match and AWA vs. AWA. DeBeers is a white supremacist of all things. That’s a gimmick for you. In essence it’s a street fight. Page is with DeBeers here. Big brawl to start as DeBeers is a bit slow. Sarge uses the riding crop a lot but DeBeers takes over a few seconds in. DeBeers chokes with a belt as this slows way down in a hurry.

It’s mentioned that the tag titles didn’t change hands earlier. Sarge takes over again and stomps away a bit. DeBeers is thrown to the floor but it’s not a DQ here of course. DeBeers goes into the post and Page gets in the ring. Back in the Colonel has a helmet that Slaughter brought in with him but can’t manage to use it. Page holds Slaughter up and Sarge moves. A few headbutts to the Colonel with the helmet puts DeBeers down allowing Slaughter to cinch up the Cobra Clutch to end it.

Rating: D. Short and bad here. Sarge would go to the WWF in a year or so and become a huge heel. Other than that though, this was nothing as DeBeers was part of the Team Challenge Series soon after this. Sarge would also but he left halfway through it. Weak match overall though.

Slaughter would come back to the WWF in 1990 but turn his back on America and support Iraq in the Gulf War. This led to a WWF Title match at Royal Rumble 1991.

WWF World Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Ultimate Warrior

Gorilla gives a disclaimer, saying that Slaughter and Adnan’s views don’t represent those of the WWF or most of America. If that was anyone other than Gorilla Monsoon, I’d say he wasn’t allowed to speak for America, but Gorilla Monsoon speaks for me. There’s a t-shirt idea in there somewhere. The belt is purple tonight in case you’re wondering. Yeah Warrior went a bit nuts (shocking I know) with having multiple belt colors for some reason. The heels try to attack him with the Iraqi Flag but Warrior will have nothing of it and clotheslines them both down.

Slaughter gets the flag shoved into his mouth and Warrior pounds away. He chokes Slaughter with said flag and chops away in the corner as Slaughter is in trouble. Warrior sends Slaughter into the corner for his over the buckle bump to the floor. Here’s Sherri to trip up Warrior and draw him back up towards the entrance. Savage is waiting on Warrior and beats the tar out of the champion with light fixtures as Slaughter gets a breather.

The Sarge wisely stops the count a few times, allowing Warrior to get back in. Slaughter pounds away in the corner as he starts softening up the back for the Camel Clutch. Apparently the middle eastern moveset comes with becoming an Iraqi sympathizer. The crowd absolutely HATES Slaughter here and boos anything he does. Warrior gets sent into the buckle but they clothesline each other down. Naturally a single clothesline is enough to counteract that long run of offense by Slaughter and get us back to even.

Slaughter gets up first and puts on a bearhug for a LONG time. Warrior breaks it up but walks right into a backbreaker for two. There’s the Camel Clutch but Warrior’s legs are under the ropes. Warrior Warriors Up and beats Slaughter down but here’s Sherri again to frenzy up the crowd. Warrior loads her up in the gorilla press and throws her onto a charging Savage in the aisle. Savage pops up again and blasts Warrior in the face with his scepter, allowing Slaughter to drop an elbow for the pin and the title, STUNNING the crowd.

Rating: D+. The match was dull for the most part but the heat was insane. The crowd audibly calls this BS and you can’t really argue that point. Aside from that, this sets up Wrestlemania really well, as we need a REAL AMERICAN to take the title back. Pay no attention to the fact that the war had already been over by Wrestlemania.

The obvious showdown from Wrestlemania VII.

WWF World Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Hulk Hogan

Hogan immediately chases Slaughter around the ring until Adnan is put on the floor. Feeling out process to start with both guys going into the corner. Hulk hooks a headlock to no avail but sends Slaughter backwards with a shoulder block. The champ hits one of the weakest chair shots you’ll ever see to Hogan’s back and pokes Hulk in the eye to finally take over. Hogan comes back with a clothesline and decks Adnan for fun too. A backdrop puts Slaughter down and Hulk sends him into the post.

Hogan hits a jumping knee to the back to send Slaughter into the corner and a slingshot sends Slaughter into the buckle again. Hogan gets in his ten punches in the corner for two but goes to the middle rope of all places, but Adnan breaks it up. Slaughter gets slammed down and Hulk drops a bunch of elbows. Now Hogan goes up top (!) but gets slammed to the mat and clotheslined to the floor. A better but still lame chair shot puts Hogan down again and it’s time to work on the back.

A backbreaker gets two for the champion and he stomps away on Hulk’s back. There’s a Boston Crab but Hulk is right next to the rope, making this pretty worthless. Another backbreaker gets two and it’s a third chair shot, this time to the head, gets two more. Hulk is cut over the eye. There’s Slaughter’s Camel Clutch but Hulk fights up, only to be rammed into the corner to send him right back down. Slaughter puts an Iraqi flag on Hogan and you know what’s coming now. A Hulk Up, big boot and leg drop later and AMERICA REIGNS AGAIN!

Rating: C. At the end of the day, if you didn’t know what was going to happen here then you’re either very young or have no idea how wrestling works. On top of the story, it’s Hogan in a match against a big man. What else could you possibly expect? Hogan winning is the 100% right decision and the match certainly isn’t bad. Slaughter was clearly a short term champion and there’s nothing wrong with that either. Decent stuff here and a feel good moment to end the show.

Slaughter and his evil cronies were still not done with Hogan. From Summerslam 1991.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Sid Justice is guest referee and Hogan is WWF Champion. Hogan and Slaughter get things going but the Sarge wants to stall. Slaughter pounds on him in the corner but gets caught between the right hands of both superheroes. Off to Warrior for a clothesline followed by a double big boot to put Slaughter down again. A clothesline gets two for Hogan and it’s back to Warrior. This is completely one sided so far. Hogan comes back in with a middle rope ax handle for two.

Sid breaks up some choking in the corner and the distraction lets Slaughter get in some shots on Hogan. Adnan, an old manager, comes in to rake Hogan’s back and slowly pound away in the corner. Off to Mustafa (Iron Sheik) for the gutwrench suplex and the camel clutch but Warrior makes the save. Slaughter comes back in to choke away in the corner and send Hogan into Sid for a staredown. Sarge jumps the distracted Hogan and stomps away on the back.

Warrior breaks up a top rope something by Slaughter, allowing for the hot tag to the painted one. Warrior cleans house on Slaughter but runs into Sid for another staredown. Back to Mustafa who gets caught in a suplex but Slaughter blocks a tag. Slaughter puts Warrior in a chinlock, only to have the Ultimate One fight up and clothesline Sarge down. There’s the hot tag to Hogan as Hogan chases the lackeys to the back with a chair. More on that later as Hogan throws powder in Slaughter’s face and drops the leg to win.

Rating: D+. I’m not a fan of this one as the match was never in doubt at all, but above that the Iraq War had been over for six months so the interest in the feud was done long ago. Nothing to see here but the fans reacted pretty well to it. This would have been better as a house show main event instead of the main event of Summer\slam. If nothing else there was a match around this time on a Coliseum Video with Slaughter/Mustafa/Undertaker against the superheroes. Wouldn’t that make a much better main event here?

Slaughter would rejoin America and team up with Jim Duggan at SNME #30.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Beverly Brothers

Anyone think this might be a squash? They’re a new team here and it’s an attempt to make Sarge a face again that loved America. The announcers argue over the logic of giving Hogan Flair at Mania and Heenan keeps picking Vince’s arguments apart. This doesn’t even last three minutes and of course the proud Americans win.

Rating: N/A. This was quick and nothing of note. Yep that’s about it.

Slaughter would mostly retire after this point but would be named Commissioner in 1997. DX really didn’t think much of his authority though, leading to this match at In Your House XIX.

Sgt. Slaughter vs. HHH

Anything goes. Slaughter comes out to the same music that Patriot came out to for his PPV appearances. Slaughter pounds on Helmsley with his riding crop to start and pounds him down before stomping away at the ribs. HHH is thrown out to the floor and dropped throat first across the barricade as the match continues its slow start. Slaughter covers for no count, establishing that the fall has to occur in the ring.

HHH goes into the steps and gets kicked into the aisle with Slaughter still in full control. Back inside and Slaughter drops him with the riding crop to the throat before choking away. A clothesline gets two and Slaughter calls for his Cobra Clutch but HHH rolls out of it. Slaughter is whipped into the corner and out to the floor (a signature spot) to give HHH a breather. HHH whips him into the barricade for a little payback before throwing him into the crowd. Back to ringside and HHH chokes away, only to have to duck the Slaughter Cannon (running clothesline) which takes out the timekeeper instead. Slaughter is cracked in the back by a belt and we head back inside. A chain to the jaw puts Slaughter down for two as the timekeeper is taken to the back.

HHH drops the chain for some reason, allowing Slaughter to pick it up and give him a chance. Not that it lasts long or anything though as he is almost immediately backdropped to the floor to keep HHH in control. Back in and HHH goes up, only to dive into a boot to the jaw. Slaughter can’t slam HHH but can hit a suplex to put both guys down. The older guy goes up top but gets slammed down for another two count.

HHH grabs a sleeper for a good while until Slaughter escapes and puts on the Cobra Clutch, only to have Chyna come in for the save. Chyna gets yelled at so she blasts the referee and pulls in a chair. Slaughter sees her coming through and throws powder in her eyes, only to be blasted in the face by HHH’s boot. Another boot shot misses though and Slaughter puts on the Clutch. The referee wakes up to check HHH’s arm but Chyna kicks Slaughter low to break up the hold. A Pedigree onto the chair is finally enough to end Slaughter.

Rating: D. This just went WAY too long, running nearly eighteen minutes. They easily could have accomplished the same goals with about half the time and that’s a problem when you have a retired guy pushing 50 out there. Slaughter wasn’t really worth much here though, especially with Vince as the real boss of the company now.

We’ll jump ahead to Smackdown on March 1, 2000 for a showdown between real Americans.

Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Angle quickly takes him down to start but gets kneed in the ribs for his efforts. An elbow to the ribs drops Kurt again and there’s the Cobra Clutch. Kurt finally rolls into the ropes for a break and sends Slaughter over the corner for his signature bump. Back in and Angle kicks him down and nails the Angle Slam to retain. Short and ugly.

Slaughter would come back in 2006 and help Ric Flair fight off the Spirir Squad. From Raw on October 2, 2006.

Nicky vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The Squad has had their pants stolen and replaced by female cheerleaders’ skirts. Nicky is more famous as Dolph Ziggler. Slaughter no sells a kick to the face and puts on the Cobra Clutch before offering a little spanking. A gutbuster gets two on Nicky but he sends Slaughter to the floor for a beating. Back in and Nicky puts on a sleeper, followed by a kind of Codebreaker for two. DX pops up on screen and makes fun of the Squad’s attire, allowing Slaughter to get a rollup pin.

Rating: D. What are you expecting here? The Squad being dressed like women was a one off joke and thankfully this was a short match that didn’t make everyone look too bad. Nicky would be the only member of the team to ever mean anything as the rest of the guys were gone in about a year.

Another match, this time answering the challenge of an old school tag team at Vengeance 2007.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. ???/???

It’s an open challenge here so the challengers are unknown. Deuce says this place is full of old people. Domino doesn’t like them either. This team was either great or completely idiotic. In short, they’re Fonzie from Happy Days. Cherry, their manager, in short is hot. Deuce is more commonly known as Sim Snuka or the guy that kept Taker from breaking his neck at Mania 25. The challengers are Sgt. Slaughter and Jimmy Snuka. Allow me to quote the 25th letter of the alphabet: WHY???????????/

Smackdown Tag Titles: Deuce N Domino vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Jimmy Snuka

Remember that Snuka is Deuce’s father. JBL says if the champions lose then he’s calling Ron Simmons up and reforming the APA. JBL suggests their name could be the Coffin Dodgers. Oh that’s funny. Sarge looks good here and we get a jab at the Ultimate Warrior. They beat the tar out of Domino here as you would expect them to. Again though, this is on PPV in 2007. There’s the Cobra Clutch which is his signature finisher, which always amused me.

The one time he used a different finisher, he won the WWF Title. So naturally he used the old one and never did anything again. This has been dominance so far. Deuce finally comes in and this is dragging badly. Snuka beating up his son is just kind of surreal. I don’t know if I’d want to be in that position or not. Snuka hits a top rope cross body but Deuce rolls through for the pin.

How annoying do you think he’s going to be with that at Thanksgiving? He pinned his HOF dad on PPV. How cool would it be to be able to say that? Post match there’s a beatdown and Martel and Garea jump the railing for the save.

Rating: D-. The match was horrible obviously, but the point here was to have the legends get a chance out there again. That doesn’t make up for it though. This is just not something I want to see on a PPV show. On TV is one thing I guess, but no way this should be on PPV.

We’ll wrap it up with one more appearance at the Great American Bash episode of Smackdown in 2012.

Santino Marella/Sgt. Slaughter/Jim Duggan vs. Hunico/Camacho/Drew McIntyre

Camacho and Slaughter start things off and it’s quickly off to Santino. He gets in trouble in the evil dirty foreign corner and Drew pounds away a bit. A slam is countered and it’s hot tag to Duggan. There’s the Three Point Clothesline but everything breaks down. The ring is mostly cleared and the Cobra gets the pin on Hunico at 2:25.

Sgt. Slaughter is a great example of how awesome a character can be when he’s so simple. Slaughter was little more than a really excited patriot who fought for his country and had a cool voice. He became WWF Champion after being a big deal in the AWA and NWA. If you had him appear today, people would still cheer for him. The G.I. Joe stuff was even more popular and a big crossover deal. He may not be the biggest star ever, but his name is very familiar to a lot of fans.

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Today is a guy with one heck of a finisher: Petey Williams.

Team Canada vs. Amazing Red/Sonjay Dutt/Hector Garza

Team Canada is Petey Williams, Eric Young and Bobby Roode. Another very different idea from this point is the time limit on screen. Non-title matches only have ten minute time limits and title matches get thirty minutes. If the match goes to a time limit draw, a judge will decide the winner. The Canadians all bail to the floor to start and there’s the triple dive. We start in the ring with Eric Young (with BIG bushy hair) getting beaten up by Amazing Red until the Canadians take Eric out.

Roode pounds away on Red as the power member of the Canadians, getting two off an elbow. There’s also an ESPN style bottom line, running down results of recent TNA PPVs. Petey gets two off a middle rope bulldog and Coach Scott D’Amore gets in a cheap shot of his own. Back to Roode for a nice suplex before knocking Dutt and Garza out to the floor.

Red comes back with a simultaneous headscissors to Roode and DDT to Young, allowing for the hot tag to Garza. Roode takes him down with a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb as everything breaks down. Red gets two on Roode off a springboard hurricanrana but Petey snaps off the Canadian Destroyer to take Red out. Roode’s Razor’s Edge is countered into a hurricanrana by Dutt, setting up a corkscrew moonsault from Dutt for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener with most of the guys busting out all of their dives. It’s the standard formula of throwing some fast paced guys out there to open up a show and it still works as well as anything else. It’s always fun to see how big starts like Roode got their starts as he looked good here.

He would win the X-Division Title soon after this and defend it at the first three hour PPV, Victory Road 2004.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. AJ Styles

AJ was a huge star almost at this point but he was still the king of the midcard as he would be for a long time to come, as in like 5 years. These two just go freaking nuts like an old school cruiserweight match. AJ hits a perfect backflip off the apron to the floor and then a senton over the top rope to the floor. Petey takes over with a jawbreaker and we get down to a bit more of a standard match to set up AJ’s big comeback.

For a crowd the all loves AJ that’s a heck of a dueling chant they have going. Ok that was cool. Petey puts AJ in the Tree of Woe and stands on his crotch. He does it again and AJ does more or less a really bit sit up and grabs AJ to pull him back in a German suplex which he follows with a Pele. I LOVE that springboard forearm. It just looks awesome as all goodness.

Both guys counter each other’s finisher and then AJ just chucks Petey into the corner. That’s one way to do it I guess. AJ has the pin but the fat Canadian coach interrupts it. AJ kicks out of a belt shot so at least the match should be ok for the ending as that would have killed it for me. After more interference, we get the awesome finish as Petey hits the Canadian Destroyer, which is just completely awesome. It’s a jumping flip piledriver. In other words he’s got him in a regular piledriver but jumps forward and does a full flip before hitting it. That’s just amazing on a lot of levels.

Rating: B. This was very fun but AJ should have gone over here. I mean it’s your biggest show and your top face for the most part goes over to a generic guy with a cool finisher. That just doesn’t make sense to me, but it’s TNA so why am I surprised? Fun match though.

Petey would team up with various members of Team Canada, including at Hard Justice 2005.

Team Canada vs. Apollo/Sonny Siaki

Apollo is a Puerto Rican guy I think. This is Williams/Young instead of Roode/Young. Siaki is a Samoan but not related to the famous Samoan family. The Canadians jump them to start but get knocked to the floor just as fast. We officially start with Apollo vs. Williams. Off to Siaki quickly who speeds things up. Neckbreaker gets two on Young. The non-Canadians hit one of the biggest backdrops I’ve ever seen on Young.

D’Amore screams at the announcers about something. That distracts Apollo and the Canadians take over. Elbow gets two for Young. Apollo manages to get in a knee lift which is enough to bring in both Siaki and Williams. Powerslam gets two on Williams. D’Amore hooks the foot of Siaki on a suplex attempt but it only gets two. Apollo spears Young down but he gets caught in a pretty awful looking top rope rana by Williams. With everything falling apart, A-1 (another Canadian) runs in and Jackhammers Siaki so Williams can steal the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine for an opener but the match itself was nothing of note. Apollo and Siaki both looked great but they didn’t have much going for them other than that. Apollo went back to Puerto Rico soon and was a much bigger deal. Siaki wasn’t around much longer, at least not in anything important.

What would a TNA wrestler be without an Ultimate X match?

Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin vs. Matt Bentley

Ultimate X, #1 contender’s match. Petey goes up but Sabin pulls him down and the faces (I think?) beat on him a bit. Williams counters a suplex from Sabin into one of his own but Bentley comes in with a kick to slow Petey down again. Wheelbarrow suplex puts Williams down again and Bentley goes up. Petey takes Matt down again but Traci’s (Bentley’s chick) rack distracts him. Matt goes up but Sabin pulls him down.

It’s Sabin vs. Bentley at the moment while D’Amore coaches Williams. Sabin picks Williams up and puts him in Razor’s Edge position, throwing him at Bentley in the corner. Sabin tries to climb but barely gets started before Bentley makes the save. We’re way too early in the match for a potential win anyway. Petey sends Bentley to the floor and hits a SWEET slingshot rana to put him down even further.

Everyone is back in now and Bentley hits a neckbreaker on Sabin and a cutter on Williams at the same time. Matt goes climbing but Sabin follows him and hooks a powerbomb to take both guys down in a painful looking move. Sabin gets caught in the Tree of Woe so Petey sings O Canada. Bentley pops up and dropkicks him off and out to the floor before going up. Sabin gets out of the Tree and shoves him down, before diving on both guys when the X was there for the grabbing because Sabin is an idiot.

Sabin goes up and Bentley dives at him with a shoulder block. That knocks Sabin down, but it knocks the X down as well. We more or less stop the match so that the crew can put the X up again with a ladder. The fans chant USE THE LADDER. Sabin and Bentley go up for the X but knock each other off. The X falls and Petey catches it, so TNA says screw the rules, Williams wins.

Rating: D+. The match was good, but there’s really no excuse for the ending. Put it up there again and have someone get it immediately or whatever, but COME ON. This was just freaking stupid and it makes the company look inept because they can’t get their own signature match right. Invest in some better tape guys.

Petey would compete in the World X Cup in 2006, including this match at Sacrifice 2006.

World X Cup Second Round: Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Petey Williams

Actually this is worth three points. Petey takes him to the mat and the fans are all over him. To be fair he’s fighting a legend so it’s understandable. I think they botch an elbow drop spot as Liger dropped the elbow but Williams took over anyway. A headscissors puts Liger to the apron but he low bridges Williams to the floor. Liger adds a huge dive to take over again.

Team Japan acts all evil and pounds on Petey on the floor. Back into the ring and Liger hooks the surfboard which is one of his signature holds. He drops Petey down into a dragon sleeper and now the annoying fans have to do the dueling chants. A frog splash by Liger hits knees and Petey hits a spinwheel kick to put Liger down again.

Liger tries a palm thrust but walks into an enziguri and tornado DDT for two. Petey loads up the Destroyer but Jushin comes back with a palm thrust and the Liger Bomb for two. A member of Team Japan interferes with a low blow. Liger follows with the Crash Thunder Buster (wheelbarrow facejam) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was pretty good and a solid choice for an opener. Liger is one of the few guys from Japan that people actually know a bit here in America so his appearances are actually worth something. Having people go out there and just saying they’re from Japan or Mexico or wherever doesn’t really mean anything. Liger could still go in his late 30s or early 40s so this worked pretty well.

Petey challenged for the X-Division Title again at Hard Justice 2006.

X-Division Title: Senshi vs. Jay Lethal vs. Petey Williams

Williams knocks Lethal to the floor and follows him out with a rana off the apron. Senshi dives out to the floor, takes out both guys and lands on his feet. It’s Lethal vs. Senshi at the moment. Williams comes back in and walks into a Liger Kick from Senshi. Lethal back up now but he misses a moonsault out of the corner. Senshi shoves Lethal into Williams and Williams kicks Lethal down.

Petey puts Lethal in the Tree of Woe and does the O Canada spot. Senshi kicks Williams down and loads up the Warrior’s Way but Lethal comes back in for the save. Lethal’s superplex is broken up and Senshi dives onto Williams. Lethal stays up there and dropkicks both guys down, drawing a Lethal chant from the crowd. Both guys are slammed by Jay and he hits stereo low dropkicks to the face.

Lethal’s slide through Senshi’s legs for a sunset flip attempt is broken up by a kick and they all try to roll each other up. Jay gutwrench suplexes Senshi down but gets caught in a Sharpshooter by Williams. Senshi breaks that up with a kick to Petey for two but gets caught in a release German for two from Lethal. Swan Dive to Petey misses and there’s the Canadian Destroyer to Lethal. Senshi kicks Williams down and pins Lethal to retain.

Rating: B-. Another good three way here as they had some great counters in there at the end. Senshi was a guy that I’ve always found uninteresting and Williams only had one move and Lethal was pretty dull without the Savage stuff, but they combined for a decent match here. I think Sabin would take the title off Senshi.

In 2007, Bobby Roode would feud with Eric Young. This led to Eric getting a friend helping him out, which would wind up being Petey. From Lockdown 2007.

Petey Williams vs. Robert Roode

Roode is the rich dude still. Young is with Roode and gets yelled at before the match. Petey hammers away to start and controls early with speed and stomping. Springboard Codebreaker gets two. Williams does the Tree of Woe spot where he stands on Roode’s balls and sings O Canada. Roode manages to send him into the buckle to shift momentum and I remember why I never wanted to see him get a singles push.

Roode is just totally uninteresting at this point. If you think he’s boring now, today’s Roode has NOTHING on 07 Roode. A SICK clothesline puts Williams down and Eric is just kind of sitting there and doesn’t like what he’s seeing. Middle rope kneedrop gets two. Off to the chinlock. Petey makes a comeback and tries a crucifix for two but he eats cage to break that up. I don’t remember anyone else going into the cage all night until then.

Rock Bottom gets two. Brooks tries to send in a hockey stick but Young makes the save. Williams hits something that we miss as Brooks and Eric are fighting outside. Williams hits a rana back inside as the camera is from above the cage for some reason. The camera goes back to Young so AGAIN we miss whatever Petey uses for two. A dropkick doesn’t hit Roode but he goes into the corner anyway.

Despite that PAINFUL missing dropkick, Roode hits a spinebuster for two. The Canadian sitcom on the floor continues as Roode demands the hockey stick, but Petey hits a cool DDT for two. Now Petey asks for the stick and a few shots with it take Roode down. And Hebner intercepts it because we can’t have weapons in a cage or something. Rollup gets two for Williams. Destroyer is countered and the Payoff (PerfectPlex) ends this.

Rating: C. I kind of liked this actually. Young was wildly popular at this point which shows you how bad Roode was, considering even he couldn’t get over with Young out there. Roode was just so boring and uninteresting that he needed Beer Money or he would have had nothing else to do.

Petey would start copying Scott Steiner, becoming known as Maple Leaf Muscle. Here’s one of their showdowns at Against All Odds 2008.

Petey Williams vs. Scott Steiner

Petey likes to copy Scott which he was told not to do pre-match. They pose for a bit which is a bit more disturbing than it should be. Steiner easily overpowers him of course so Petey tries to speed things up a bit which doesn’t work either. Some strikes work a bit for Petey but it’s hard to fight against a big overhead belly to belly. Elbow and pushups follow.

Another belly to belly off the top gets two but Steiner pulls him up. Steiner gets an Angle Slam off the top but again pulls Williams up. He goes to the floor and gets the two cases, wedging them between the ropes as you often see done with chairs. The referee stops him but Williams manages to shove Steiner into the case. Rana takes Steiner down for two. Canadian Destroyer is countered into an Alabama Slam for a long two.

Steiner Recliner can’t get on though as Williams rolls him up instead for two. Williams hits a dropkick and a slingshot Codebreaker to set up a top rope crossbody for two. Williams puts on the Steiner Recliner which is as miserable of a chinlock as I’ve ever seen. Tornado DDT gets two for Williams. Steiner gets sent into the other case and a missile dropkick puts down Steiner. Rhaka Khan debuts and distracts Petey so that a Last Ride can end Petey.

Rating: C-. Better match than you would expect but Steiner was never in any real danger here. I never got the appeal of mini Steiner in the form of Williams. Steiner never really went anywhere until the Mafia came up. This was watchable but at the same time it wasn’t anything great at all.

Petey would cash in the X-Division case and win the title. Here’s a defense at Slammiversary 2008.

X-Division Title: Petey Williams vs. Kaz

Williams is champion and has Scott Steiner/Rhaka Khan with him. Petey also has a broken orbital bone so he’s in a mask. In a nice move, Kaz has on a wristlock and Petey tries to roll through it. Kaz grabs him into a rollup as he tries to for two. That looked good. They hit the mat into some pinfall reversals and Kan escapes the Destroyer attempt. Kaz gets a slingshot dropkick in the corner for no cover as Petey hits the floor.

Kaz fires off some kicks and the fans are split. They go to the floor and Khan distracts Kaz enough to let Petey get a tornado DDT off the apron to take over. Petey takes over but Kaz gets a sunset flip out of the corner for two. O’Connor Roll gets two and the kickout puts Kaz on the floor. Petey hits that SWEET slingshot rana to take over again. The fans are split again and it fires Kaz up a bit.

Petey works the arm as that comeback was pretty short lived. Kaz gets in a big kick and both guys are down. He fires off a bunch of strikes and hits a release spinebuster for two. Slingshot DDT gets the same. The fans say this is awesome and I’m not entirely sure I’d go that far. It’s good but not awesome. Williams speeds things up and the Canadian hits a Russian on the American.

He loads up the Destroyer but Kaz escapes. Petey hits a cool move that looks like a fisherman’s suplex but he slings backwards into a DDT instead. Kaz fights back and tries the Flux Capacitor (C4) off the top but Petey escapes that also. There’s very little selling in these matches at all. Another Destroyer attempt is countered into the Fade to Black for two.

Khan comes in so there’s an enziguri for you. The distraction lets Scott slide in the pipe (that’s what she said?) and Petey kills him with it. Kaz is busted but he kicks out. Destroyer attempt #8 is countered into a rollup which is countered into the Sharpshooter but Kaz counters into the Wave of the Future (spinning downward spiral) for two. The referee JUMPED over them to get there and got to three before Williams kicked out but who cares about that? Steiner distracts Kaz and it’s enough for Petey to hook the Destroyer and we’re done.

Rating: B-. Good opener here with both guys looking good. Kaz was getting a world title shot on Thursday so this was a bit worthless by comparison. Obviously he would lose there but that’s another story. This was fast paced but the lack of selling started to show in the middle as nothing could keep someone down for more than ten seconds.

One more Steiner vs. Petey match after they’ve split. From Against All Odds 2009.

Scott Steiner vs. Petey Williams

Steiner shoves him around to start. Time for some arm work as Petey is in trouble. Petey tries to speed things up and hits a missile dropkick for two. He goes up again but gets caught in a belly to belly off the middle rope. Clothesline and elbow set up the pushups. Williams can’t get a tornado DDT as Scott keeps the advantage. Petey gets draped over the top rope and Scott gets an elevated Downward Spiral for two.

Williams gets a boot up in the corner to slow things down a bit and they slug it out. They go up top and Petey is able to knock him off and hit a cross body. There’s the tornado DDT but it’s not very good. Steiner is finally like enough of this and counters a Canadian Destroyer attempt. Petey settles for an enziguri instead to set up a slingshot Codebreaker to put Scott down again.

The fans are split here, proving that faces and heel mean nothing to these idiots called Impact Zone fans. Petey grabs a rollup for two. Dropkick puts Scott on the floor but a slingshot rana is caught in a powerbomb to the floor. Steiner Recliner goes on and Williams is able to get to the ropes. Yes, the move that choked out everything in sight in WCW is broken up by Petey freaking Williams here. We actually get the Steiner Screwdriver here to end it. That move is SICK.

Rating: C. Not bad here but Petey’s offense was a lot like what a jobber would use. This wasn’t a squash but it was getting close to one at points. The Screwdriver (kind of at least. This was more like a Piledriver) is always a nice touch since it’s only used once every few years. Not much here, but nothing great at all.

Petey would make the occasional appearance in ROH, including this one at Bitter Friends Stiffer Enemies II.

Rhett Titus vs. Petey Williams

He’s Addicted to Love Rhett Titus mind you, which mainly means he has some hilarious named for his moves. They make dick jokes to start us off and I’m fearing a comedy match here. Williams hooks a reverse figure four which was a nice hold there. And now let’s talk about Chris Hero. Ok then.

We get a nice wrestling sequence and then a long spot calling thing. This has been almost all counters and rest holds. So after the last match was almost all strikes, this one has almost none. Got it. The announcers are getting on my nerves. There goes the bowtie! I have no idea what that means but I’m going to make it seem like it’s a big deal by ending it with an exclamation point!

Titus is dominating here, which wasn’t the case at Apocalypse but there we are. Do we really need all these annoying jokes from the announcers? Yeah I’m thinking no on that one. This match just isn’t interesting me at all. It’s not particularly bad but it’s just not interesting at all. Williams has Titus set for a Sharpshooter and turns around and just stops so Titus can roll him up.

What the heck was that supposed to be? The Sharpshooter goes on and it means nothing at all. We hit the floor as Williams hits a rana over the top. Titus hits a Fameasser and then a top rope knee drop for two. Williams goes for the Canadian Destroyer and gets caught in a backdrop and the feet on the ropes end it. Post match Williams goes for the Destroyer again but Titus gets out of it.

Rating: D+. This just didn’t do it for me at all. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s just not that impressive. It felt like a match that belonged far earlier in the card and this one just didn’t work for me. Like I said it’s not bad, but it’s just not something I had any interest in watching at all.

Here’s a match from February 19, 2011 in a promotion I’d actually like to check out in more detail at some point: Lucha Libre USA.

Petey Williams vs. L.A. Park

Williams is in a heel stable called The Right and they use a six sided ring. Petey hammers away to start and drops him with a big right hand. A headscissors puts Park down and a middle rope hurricanrana sends him to the floor. Williams nails a nice suicide dive but both guys are a bit staggered. Back in and they take a good while to call a spot for some reason before Park avoids a series of shots in the corner.

Park grabs the referee for no apparent reason and throws him into a sunset flip on Williams with a fast three count. The referee celebrates because he’s an imbecile before Park grabs a powerslam for a real near fall. Petey gets the same off a DDT and a Downward Spiral as they’re just going from move to move here. Park kicks at the legs and nails a Backstabber but Petey grabs the rope. Now it’s Williams getting knocked outside so Park can hit a dive of his own. Park superplexes him back in but Williams is up at two. Back up and Park hits a reverse DDT into a clothesline for the pin.

Rating: D. The match was longer than it needed to be and I was getting bored by the end. There isn’t anything to it for the most part as everything was spot after spot, which doesn’t make for an entertaining match most of the time. This was part of the Right vs. the rest of the company, meaning some promos would have made this a lot more interesting.

Petey would come back to TNA for One Night Only: X-Travaganza in 2013.

Rashad Cameron/Anthony Nese vs. Kid Kash/Douglas Williams

Williams and Cameron start things off with Doug looking older than usual. Doug takes him down by the leg and puts on a kind of reverse Boston Crab where Kash can kick Cameron in the face. Cameron and Williams run the ropes a bit until Rashad dropkicks Doug down. Off to Kash as this could be a trainwreck in a hurry. Thankfully Nese comes in quickly and things speed WAY up as they trade controlling holds on the mat. We get some sweet chain wrestling until Kash takes over with knees and chops.

Nese comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body for two and a clothesline to send Kash to the floor. Anthony loads up a dive, only to be taken down by Williams. Doug heads to the floor with Kash and there’s a big dive by Cameron, followed by an even better one by Nese. Back in and Nese jumps into a forearm from Kash as Taz is talking about investment banking and area codes.

Williams knocks Cameron off the apron as the old guys take over on Nese. Kash comes in for some solid stomping before it’s back to Williams. The old guys do some old school double teaming on Cameron who has no idea how to deal with it. Kash and Earl Hebner get into it a bit in the corner before Kash hits a hard chop on Cameron. Back to Williams for a kick to the back and a nice snap suplex for no cover.

Kash comes in to work on the knee in a vain attempt to add some psychology here. Some hard kicks by Kash to the chest keep Cameron down as Taz starts talking about Aces and 8’s. Well we made it through forty minutes so it was bound to happen soon. Kash breaks up a quick comeback with a forearm but his moonsault hits knees. Hot (I think?) tag brings in Nese as things speed up again.

Back to Williams who misses a clothesline and gets kicked down by Nese. A nice pumphandle powerbomb gets two for Anthony as everything breaks down. Nese hits a running knee to Williams’ head for two as Rashad dives on Kash on the floor. A quick rollup gets two for Anthony but he gets caught in the Rolling Chaos Theory for the pin by Williams.

Rating: C-. This didn’t work for me. I’m not a fan of most of the guys in this match and the ending was just kind of there. That’s one of the major problems with this show: there aren’t going to be any in depth stories and barely any stories at all. That’s fine if the matches are really good, but this was only decent at best.

Petey would come back to TNA on a semi-regular basis in 2013, including this match on Impact, April 4, 2013.

Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Mason Andrews

Winner gets a title shot, presumably next week. Everyone starts with fast near falls until Andrews has to back away from a potential double team. A quick dropkick gets two on Williams for Dutt but Petey comes back with a suicide dive to take out Andrews. Dutt joins them on the floor and it’s Andrews taking over. Back inside and a backbreaker gets two on Williams but Andrews has to knock Dutt off the apron. A middle rope elbow gets two on Williams but Dutt is back in as well with an octopus hold on Petey.

Andrews breaks that up but can’t hit something out of a fireman’s carry on Williams. Dutt comes back in with a springboard dropkick to both guys at once. A kick in the corner puts Andrews on the ropes and there’s a springboard legdrop to the back of his head, followed by a springboard splash for two.

Petey is back in and decks Andrews but hits a Russian legsweep and short range Downward Spiral on Dutt. The Canadian Destroyer (flip piledriver) is broken up and Andrews hits a quick top rope rana on Williams. Dutt hits a standing Sliced Bred on Andrews but a top rope double stomp misses. The Destroyer hits Andrews to give Williams the shot at 5:19.

Rating: C+. Yeah it was fun, but this is the exact same thing we see from the X-Division every time: no story, the same stealing pin attempts, the same fast finishes. Yeah they’re flashy, but it gets really monotonous after awhile. But hey, EVERY MATCH IS A THREE WAY, so it has to be interesting right? I mean, why put effort into it when you can put a one size fits all sticker on there?

Petey would appear at Destination X 2013.

Homicide vs. Petey Williams vs. Sonjay Dutt

This is the first of three qualifying matches for an Ultimate X title match next week. Homicide sends both guys to the floor for a big dive before Petey takes over back inside. The slingshot Codebreaker takes Homicide down and Dutt is put in a leg lock, only to have Homicide come off the top with a headbutt to break it up.

Homicide takes both guys down and gets two on Dutt but Petey is back in. Dutt is crotched on the top but neither Homicide nor Petey can hit their finisher. Dutt suplexes Williams out of the corner and into the Gringo Killer but Dutt hits his standing sliced bread on Homicide. The moonsault double stomp is enough for Dutt to pin Homicide at 4:10.

Rating: C+. This was fine but it continues the same trend of all these three ways: every time I watch one I feel like a five year old leaving the dentist: it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be but it still wasn’t anything great. Homicide wouldn’t sell a thing other than the finisher, which is still awesome.

Another One Night Only, this time in the Tag Team Tournament.

Tag Team Tournament Play-In: Petey Williams/Sonjay Dutt vs. Generation Me

I can never remember which is Jeremy and which is Max. Then again I could never remember which Hardy was which at first so maybe they’re more comparable than I thought. Dutt starts with a headlock on let’s say Jeremy and gets a Let’s Go Senshi chant. Jeremy comes back with a Sin Cara armdrag out of the corner and a double seated dropkick puts Dutt down again. Sonjay tags in Petey to speed things up with a dropkick to Max’s back. Everything breaks down and the non-brothers are both knocked to the floor. A headscissors from Jeremy sends Sonjay into a Max dropkick for two in a nice double team.

It’s Dutt in trouble now as the crowd is trying to get into this. The Bucks work on the arm for a bit before Max hooks a chinlock. Sonjay fights up and tags in Petey to clean house again with a slingshot Codebreaker and a running knee to take the Bucks down. A spin into a Russian legsweep gets two on Max but Jeremy breaks up the Canadian Destroyer attempt. Sonjay comes back in with a springboard double dropkick for two as the cameraman is taken down.

Jeremy gets caught in the corner for some fast tagging by Williams and Dutt. Petey gets caught in a bulldog out of the corner and it’s hot tag to Max. Dutt gets taken down by a CM Punk running knee/bulldog out of the corner as everything breaks down. Jeremy dives through the ropes to take Petey down on the floor as Sonjay gets two off the standing Sliced Bread.

Petey comes back in for another Russian legsweep on Max but Jeremy superkicks him down. More Bang For Your Buck (fireman’s carry slam by Jeremy into a 450 by Max into a moonsault from Jeremy) gets two on Sonjay as Petey makes the save and hits the Canadian Destroyer on Max, only to have Jeremy kick Williams in the face for the pin.

Rating: C. Take four guys, let them do high spots on each other for eight minutes, listen to the crowd cheer for them. The match was nothing great but there were some nice high spots to wake the crowd up. Petey was the best guy out there as Sonjay looked slow and the Bucks were their usual sloppy selves.

We’ll wrap it up with X-Travaganza II.

Ultimate X Qualifying Match: Petey Williams vs. Tigre Uno

Only Williams can qualify. They trade arm work to start (of course) before Petey drives him into the corner. A bouncing hurricanrana takes Williams out to the floor and a big corkscrew dive puts him down again. Back in and Petey puts on a half crab before changing over to a Crossface and then the Rings of Saturn. That goes nowhere so Williams puts him in the Tree of Woe and stands on Tigre’s crotch to sing O Canada.

Tigre comes back with an enziguri, counters a German suplex and nails another enziguri for good measure. In a quick ending, Tigre goes up and tries what looks to be a seated senton splash but it turns into a low blow for the pin. Petey pops up and seems surprised by the ending and doesn’t sell the move.

Rating: D. You bring Petey Williams back and he doesn’t even try the one move that people remember him for? Tigre Uno is one of the few guys in the X-Division that can actually do anything and he gets to beat a single guy and then go home for the night? This concept continues to make less and less sense every match.

Petey Williams is a guy who took one move and turned it into a career. Yeah he could do some other stuff, but almost every match he has is just building up towards the piledriver. He was a really entertaining lackey to Scott Steiner and got over again as Maple Leaf Muscle. I’m not the biggest fan in the world but the guy really isn’t all that bad.

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Today is Raven. What about him eh?

Light Heavyweight Title: Scotty Flamingo vs. Brian Pillman

Like I said, it’s Raven as a beach guy. Pillman is his usual insane self but in a good way here. Imagine Raven wearing pink biker shorts. That’s just odd as all goodness. We get some very nice chain wrestling which gets a decent pop from the crowd. The speed here on Raven is very interesting indeed as it just isn’t like him at all but it’s working rather well.

Pillman works the arm over for a LONG time but as he goes up top he’s told he’ll be disqualified if he jumps off. Yes, in the light heavyweight division, we can’t have people jump off the top rope. WE WANT ARMBARS! Oh there also are no mats outside so when you get thrown out you land on concrete. Watts actually defended this as making the wrestlers tough.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Seriously, there’s a big difference between toughening the wrestlers up and being a freaking prick that needs to get over himself HUGE. We shift into a mat based match which is fine as it’s what Scotty is best at. We’ve had WAY too many chinlocks in this.

Ok now we’re picking it up a bit as Pillman is just going nuts which means that the match is getting a lot better. After all kinds of jumping around and going all over the place though he dives at Flamingo on the ramp and just slams into the ramp. A knee to the back and Scotty gets the pin. My guess is that wasn’t a legit injury but it could have been.

Rating: B-. The chinlocks and rest holds killed this one from being great for me. I think 18 minutes was a bit too long for these two but it wasn’t a trainwreck at all. The parts that were good were good and the parts that were bad were bad. I liked it but a few minutes cut out would have helped it a lot.

Flamingo would go to the WWF and become Johnny Polo. He was mainly a manager but would occasionally have a match, including this one on Raw, December 27, 1993.

Johnny Polo vs. Marty Jannetty

Polo’s clients the Quebecers are on commentary and praising him for his in ring technique. Marty grabs a hammerlock to start but gets taken down for a standoff. Johnny grabs a headlock but gets sent into the buckle. An atomic drop and rollup get two each and it’s off to an armbar on the mat with Polo in trouble. Jannetty misses a charge and Johnny hits a dive to take him out again.

Back in and a cross body gets two for Marty but Johnny grabs a chinlock. That lasts all of two seconds before Jannetty gets all fired up and elbows Polo in the face. Johnny crotches him on the top but gets shoved down when trying a superplex. A high cross body gets two for Marty and a rollup gets the same. Marty dropkicks him out to the floor and ignores some Quebecer interference. He goes up top, only to dive on Pierre instead of Johnny. Back in and Marty tries a sunset flip but Johnny falls on top and Pierre offers some help for the pin.

Rating: D. This was pretty horrible with the lack of chemistry really hurting things. Polo wasn’t supposed to be any good but that presents a problem when you’re trying to have a match with him. I’ve seen far worse but this went on too long, especially with the ending. They could have done the same thing in about five minutes instead of nine.

It was off to ECW after this for the most famous character of Raven’s career: Raven, a loner who eventually acquired a stable called Raven’s Nest. He was very psychological and tormented various people. This would include a LONG feud with Tommy Dreamer, with one of the big matches coming at November to Remember 1995.

Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven/Cactus Jack

Main event time. Funk is “planning on retiring”. That’s just amusing. Funk says he’ll remember what happened with Cactus last night forever. Apparently it was a big attack on Terry but Dreamer made the save. This is a revenge match for Funk and Dreamer always hates Raven Cactus is in a WCW Dungeon of Doom t-shirt. He was in a WEIRD (yet awesome) heel push where he longed to be back in WCW with “Uncle Eric”.

The pairings pair off and Raven and Jack rule the ring for the moment. Now we get to the brawl and Funk fights Raven. Stevie Richards brings in some weapons and gets put in a shopping cart for his troubles. Dreamer BLASTS Raven in the head with a freaking VCR. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ONE OF THOSE TO A WRESTLING SHOW??? In a funny bit, Dreamer hits him with the remote also.

Funk beats up the referee because he’s Terry Funk. Dreamer DDTs the referee for good measure. Funk hits Raven with a golf club in the putter. Cheese grater is broken up and Cactus drills Dreamer with a chair. Dreamer gets taken down by a double chain shot to the throat. Raven is busted open and poses anyway. Cactus channels his inner Abdullah as he jabs at Funk with a fork.

DDT to Dreamer as Raven and Cactus are dominating. They try the chain again but Dreamer does something smart and dives on it, bringing them together. Not that it matters as Cactus takes him down with ease. Cactus takes the Dungeon of Doom shirt to reveal another one with a huge picture of Eric Bischoff and the words “Forgive Me Uncle Eric” (coining that nickname) on the back. Only Mick Foley could make that work, period.

It’s more or less a big mess but were you really expecting something else here? Jack hits a double arm DDT on Funk onto the chair but there’s no referee. Raven dives over the top to take out Dreamer and Jack looks for more weapons. Here are Fonzie and Taz to be referees but Funk kicks out at two. Taz beats up Funk so Dreamer takes Taz out. Jumping DDT takes Raven down and for some reason a regular one does more damage. The referee is back up and Dreamer piledrives Raven onto a chair, letting Funk steal the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty fun match overall as they kept things just weapons based instead of going everywhere. Also Jack having the continuing mental breakdowns in the middle of the match (the Uncle Eric thing) is great. Dreamer not beating Funk is one of those little things that makes a match better. Fun stuff here and one of the better brawls ECW did.

Another of Raven’s top feuds was with Sandman so we’ll look at a match from February of 1996.

ECW World Title: Raven vs. Sandman

I believe this is at Cyberslam 1996. Sandman, flanked by Missy Hyatt, finally starts his entrance after about two minutes of standing around. Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie quickly bail and the brawl is on after nearly eight minutes of entrances. Raven throws him outside and hits a plancha to take over. Sandman whips him into the barricade though and grabs a chair. He stands around for awhile before just kicking Raven in the head and walking around with him for awhile.

Back in and Sandman hits a delayed brainbuster before throwing Raven to the floor. There’s a plancha by the challenger before punching him into a chair back inside. Some Meanie interference lets Raven hit the Evenflow but Missy distracts the referee to prevent the pin. Sandman pops up and hits a DDT of his own, drawing in Raven’s chick Kimona. It’s catfight time and Stevie comes in for a superkick to give Raven two.

There goes the referee (like it matters) as Sandman “hits” a “legdrop” for two. The referee goes down again and here are Richards and Meanie to run interference. The Bruise Brothers (Harris Twins) come in with a double chokeslam for two on Sandman. Raven can’t get Sandman up for a suplex so he puts Sandman on top and pulls him face first onto the chair. The DDT on the chair retains Raven’s title.

Rating: D. Another overbooked mess that people call wrestling for some reason. The match was a glorified disaster but the best stuff in this feud was always the talking and storytelling. That being said, unfortunately we still had to sit through the wrestling and get driven crazy by the matches. Bad stuff here, again.

We’ll wrap up his ECW run with a match from Cyberslam 1997.

Raven/Brian Lee vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer

Raven is world champion. If Funk beats Raven, he gets a shot at the title at Barely Legal. Lee is a hired gun here. This is during the Dreamer can’t beat Raven angle which I would have ended at Barely Legal, but instead they went with Funk who is the guy that was from the NWA and therefore what they were against, but hey who cares about that right? Beulah, who is dating Tommy at this point, is here being her sexy self.

We get big match intros because we need to have them for what is I guess the main event. Raven comes in and lays down to let Dreamer beat him for the first time in his life so that Funk can’t get the pin to get the title shot. Dreamer, ever the moron, hits him instead. Raven pops up and says “Hey Dreamer why didn’t you pin me?” That was funny for some reason.

Off to Funk so Raven runs and hides. Dreamer comes in again as this is stupid so far. Powerslam by Lee and he brings in Raven. Dreamer gets a DDT and tags in Funk immediately to let him try to get a win. Back off to Lee as this has been pretty basic so far. Raven won’t fight Funk so the fans chant him a coward. Raven and Dreamer go to the floor and the others join them. An ECW match turning into a brawl? NO WAY!!!

They’re in the crowd already and I have a feeling I’ll be able to read a novel or so while this is going on. Funk and Raven wind up back in the ring and Raven hits him low. Dreamer and Lee are on the floor having the real fight since Funk is old and Raven is probably stoned. He grabs the mic and yells at Funk for awhile while everyone looks at Dreamer and Lee who are off camera.

This creates an obvious problem of Raven vs. Funk is more or less the occasional punch and Raven yelling while the fans are all looking away at the violence on the floor. Funk grabs the mic and I’d suggest a censor button on standby. He kicks Raven’s leg out a few times and it’s the spinning toe hold. Raven screams that he quits but there’s no referee. The referee finally comes in and Lee hits Funk with a trashcan.

Lee hammers on everyone with the trashcan. Dreamer tries to protect Funk so Funk keeps getting up. Funk can’t stand up and is bleeding from the ear. Oh I have a bad feeling where this might be going. Yep the doctors are here to check on Terry and he still wants to fight. Is this supposed to be impressive or something? Terry is put on a stretcher after a few attempts and is taken to the back.

And now it’s time to make this the big angle of the show as here’s Stevie Richards who is all ticked off at Raven which I guess explains him being in the triple threat at Barely Legal. Raven wants to be kicked but Lee picks Richards off and chokeslams him. Lori Fullington, Sandman’s ex-wife comes out and is mad at Raven also. Take a DDT girl. Down she goes also.

Dreamer, ever the genius, comes out with Sandman’s son Tyler who was brainwashed by Raven at one point. Here’s a beatdown for Dreamer as well. Sandman comes out with his son on his shoulders and it’s some big emotional moment or whatever. Sandman fights both guys off and pins Raven just because. Now there’s your triple threat and Dreamer is left out in the cold. Yep that’s how they set up their first PPV people.

Rating: F+. Dude, seriously? Another big brawl, an injury angle to an old man, an ex-wife and son being brought out and a guy that hasn’t been seen the entire night is now #1 contender. Stevie is in the same spot now for getting chokeslammed and I guess beating Balls Mahoney earlier. And people wonder why non-ECW fans complain aboutnot being able to understand this company. I had no idea why they were in that match until I saw this show. Not like that’s important information to say at Barely Legal or anything right?

Raven would jump to WCW after losing his final match to Tommy Dreamer. Here’s his first match at Clash of the Champions XXXV.

Stevie Richards vs. Raven

Raven can best be described as a loner who would eventually lead a cult called the Flock. Richards is his goofy lackey who doesn’t know what to do here. Raven isn’t under contract to WCW so he demands that it’s a No DQ match. That’s fine with Richards so Raven runs him over and sends Stevie into the corner and outside.

Raven follows him out with a plancha but gets caught in a backslide for two. They head outside again with Raven dropping an elbow from the apron. We get our first weapon with a chair brought in. Raven hooks a drop toehold to send Richards face first into the chair but Stevie whips him into the chair in the corner. A running headbutt and side slam get two on Raven but he counters a superkick into a cover for two. Raven’s Even Flow DDT is enough for the pin.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match but it was a good way for Raven to debut. The No DQ rule would be the norm for Raven for his entire WCW run and he would have success as a result. Things wouldn’t take off for him until the Flock though. Richards would be gone from WCW by the end of the year.

Raven would enter a great feud with Chris Benoit, setting up this match at Souled Out 1998.

Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is one of the best built matches WCW has had in a long time with Benoit having to face every member of the Flock before finally getting his hands on Raven. Raven has sent all of his lackeys to attack Benoit time after time and tonight Benoit FINALLY gets his hands on their leader. The Flock comes out to back Raven but are ejected by an executive order. Raven rants about being shunned all his life and being fine with it here. The match is also Raven’s Rules, meaning anything goes.

Raven starts with a baseball slide before Benoit is even in the ring. Benoit is sent into the barricade and then the steps before heading inside for a backslide on Raven for two. Benoit is sent right back to the floor so Raven can blast him in the back with a chair. Back in and Benoit is snapmared and bulldogged down onto the chair for two. Benoit comes back with a drop toehold onto the chair (Dusty: “YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT! YOU TAKE A SEAT!”) but can’t immediately follow up.

Chris hits the snap suplex onto the chair for two of his own before ripping Raven’s shirt off. Raven bails to the floor and gets caught by a baseball slide before being sent into the steps. That’s a nice callback to what Raven did to open the match. Bird Boy stumbles up the aisle with Benoit chopping him down along the way. There’s another snap suplex on the ramp to put Raven in big trouble. Back in and Benoit stomps the chair into Raven’s head before hitting the Swan Dive onto the chair but both guys are out.

Benoit finally covers for two but can’t even stand up to keep the pressure on Raven. A northern lights suplex is countered into Raven’s DDT but Raven is too weakened to cover. It’s Benoit covering Raven for two before putting on the Crossface. Raven doesn’t try to escape and instead smiles at the pain. He laughs himself into unconsciousness in a creepy moment to end the match.

Rating: A. If there’s a better Raven match out there I’d love to see it. These two beat the tar out of each other and it was brutal throughout. This is the kind of emotional response you can get to a well built feud. The place went NUTS for Benoit’s win, which makes you wonder why he was wasted for so long in WCW.

And another great match from Uncensored 1998.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven vs. Chris Benoit

This is No DQ and falls count anywhere. Page is defending after invading the Benoit vs. Raven feud. It’s a triple lockup to start and now everyone stands around. Another triple lockup brings everyone out to the floor. Page is sent into the steps and the challengers fight in the ring with Benoit getting two off an elbow. Benoit stomps him down in the corner but Page comes back in to break it up. Raven and Benoit head back to the floor so DDP can hit a big dive to take them both out.

Back in again with Chris taking over and hitting a top rope splash for two on Raven. Page and Benoit slug it out to the floor but Raven dives over the top to take them both out for two on each. Page sends Benoit into the barricade but Raven charges into both of them again. Raven is whipped into the barricade and it’s Page vs. Benoit for a bit. Raven goes up by the set and comes back with a garbage can but Benoit puts it over Raven’s head so the other guys can beat on it with crutches. Benoit takes over with a crutch shot to Page’s back as they’re up by the entrance.

A trashcan to Page’s bad ribs has him in trouble and a suplex on the ramp has the ribs in even more trouble. Benoit and Raven team up for a few seconds to send Page through an Uncensored sign. Chris pulls out a kitchen sink of all things to hit Raven in the head but Raven throws a table at his head. Raven comes back with a velvet rope to choke Benoit but Chris whips Raven through the table. Page is still down as the other guys head back to the ring.

Benoit chokes Raven with the velvet rope but Raven hits him low to change momentum again. Now it’s chair time but it’s Raven taking the drop toehold into the metal. Page is slowly crawling back to the ring as Benoit whips Raven into a chair in the corner to send him to the floor. Back in and Benoit puts on a sleeper but Page comes in to put one on Benoit at the same time.

Raven hits a jawbreaker to put everyone down. Why Benoit’s leg being on Page isn’t a cover I’m not sure. Chris gets up and rolls the Germans on Raven but Page gets up to German suplex both guys at the same time. The challengers both knock Page down and Lodi hands in a stop sign to crack Page in the head. Now it’s a table as Benoit stands around. Raven puts Page on the table but Benoit cracks Raven in the head with the sign. Benoit takes Raven to the top for a superplex through Page through the table but Page knocks Benoit to the floor and Diamond Cuts Raven “though” the table to retain.

Rating: A-. This was a wild brawl before the wild brawl became the norm in wrestling. Benoit and Raven did most of the work here as Page laid up by the sign but that’s to be expected. The match was fun though and was exactly what it was supposed to be: a big ECW style battle (with a bunch of ECW spots) on a mainstream stage.

Now we’ll take out Benoit and see how things go. From Spring Stampede 1998.

US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Raven

Page is defending, Raven has the belt itself, this is under Raven’s Rules and the winner gets Goldberg tomorrow. Sick Boy tries to interfere at the beginning but gets a belt to the face for his efforts. Page shoves Raven into the corner and pounds away to start before hitting a belly to back suplex. A big dive to the floor takes out Raven and Sick Boy but Raven knocks Page off the apron, reinjuring the ribs. Back in and Page counters the Even Flow into a swinging neckbreaker for two.

Raven bails to the floor to avoid a Diamond Cutter and the fight heads up to the set. Page throws Raven off a stagecoach into some bails of hay before diving off said coach to take Raven down. Raven is thrown into a corral and beaten down by a trashcan. Now Raven goes through another wooden fence and suplexed onto the website table. Page is kicked into a wall and Raven blasts him in the head with a piece of metal.

They head to some VIP area with Raven diving onto Page to send him through a table. Raven pulls a bullrope off a horse and chokes Page down before grabbing a trashcan. The can freaks Tony out, despite it being used about two minutes ago. Raven wraps the rope around Page’s neck and drags him back to the ring where Sick Boy has a kitchen sink. The sink is only good for two for Raven and it’s back to the rope choking. Page fights up and drop toeholds Raven onto the sink as Tony and Heenan make plumbing jokes.

Kidman tries to interfere but splashes Raven by mistake, giving Page two. Sick Boy blasts Page with a crutch to give Raven two so Raven calls in the rest of the Flock. Hammer accidentally clotheslines Raven down so Page knocks him out with a sink. A low blow puts Page down and here’s Reese for a chokebomb, giving Raven another two count. Lodi throws in the stop sign but Page knocks it into Raven’s face and takes out a few Flock members. Kidman gets a Diamond Cutter but Horace Hogan debuts by hitting Page with the stop sign, allowing Raven to DDT Page on the sink for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. I’m not a fan of this garbage brawling style but this could have been worse. It’s good that Raven finally won the title that he’s been chasing for months and it makes sense as the numbers and style finally caught up to Page. I wasn’t liking the way most of the brawling was treated as comedy spots when the feud has been serious though. It was a reversal of what had made the feud good up to this point and hurt the match a good deal. Still though, not bad and a decent way to wrap the feud up.

From the next night on Nitro.

US Title: Goldberg vs. Raven

Raven is defending and this is under his rules. He lays the belt out in front of Goldberg and they talk trash, only to have Raven dropkick him down. We head to the floor with Raven being whipped into the barricade to give Goldberg control. Back inside and Goldie puts on a leg lock before superkicking Raven right back to the floor.

Raven grabs a chair and smashes Goldberg in the back to slow him down. There’s the drop toehold onto the chair followed by a reverse chinlock on Goldberg. The big man powers up and no sells a bunch of right hands. There’s the spear but Goldberg has to destroy the Flock. Raven tries to leave but the fans throw him back to ringside. Another spear and a Jackhammer onto a stop sign (brought in by Horace) make Goldberg US Champion.

Rating: C+. Total destruction here by Goldberg which is a good idea, but I don’t know why it had to be at Raven’s expense just one day after he won the title. The guy did some great work with Page and Benoit earlier in the year but now he gets to keep the US Title for a single day? Still though, good, hard hitting match here.

Raven would get back into the title hunt at Halloween Havoc 1998.

TV Title: Raven vs. Chris Jericho

This could be good. Side note: I’m watching this on the WWE Network (praise be its name) and Break the Walls Down is swapped in for Jericho’s WCW theme. My head snapped up when I heard that instead of his regular song. Raven complains about his losing streak and asks What About Me.

He went to bed at 11am this morning and then arrived at the arena to find out he’s in an unscheduled match. Well he doesn’t feel like wrestling tonight so he gets up and leaves. Jericho doesn’t want to wrestle either but all of the Jericholics are here to see him because Jericho equals buyrates and rock and roll. He was really looking forward to facing an icon like the leader of the Flock, but there wouldn’t be much of a challenge because Raven is a LOSER. That’s enough to get Raven inside for the opening bell, nearly thirteen minutes into the show.

Jericho jumps him coming in and whips Raven with his leather jacket, setting up the arrogant cover for two. Raven gets his hands on Jericho and they fall over the top and out to the floor. Jericho gets suplexed ribs first onto the steps and comes up holding his knee. A dropkick off the steps puts the champion down again. Jericho: “HELP ME!” Back in and Jericho hits a quick Stun Gun before the springboard dropkick sends Raven into the barricade.

Chris follows him out with a dive but Raven steps aside and Jericho goes head first into the barricade as well. It’s Raven’s turn now as Jericho whips him into the steel again before they head back inside. Raven bites Jericho’s face before throwing on a quickly broken sleeper. Jericho hits a backsplash and takes the turnbuckle pad off but Raven blocks the whip into the corner. A standing hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb by Raven before he catapults Jericho face first into the buckle for two.

Jericho is oddly unharmed by being sent face first into steel but Raven catches him in a belly to belly for two. Back up and Jericho sweeps the legs to put on the Liontamer. Raven is quickly in the ropes and hits the Even Flow out of nowhere for two. A low blow lets Chris hit a German suplex for another close two as Kanyon runs out and gets on the apron. Jericho immediately knocks him off and reverses another Even Flow attempt into the Liontamer for the quick submission.

Rating: B+. Why does no one bring this up as a great match for either guy? They meshed the hardcore and wrestling stuff together here and got a great match as a result. Jericho was wrestling like a face here for the most part and it worked just as well as his awesome heel run. The announcers played up how Raven has been submitting so quickly after passing out from the Crossface with a smile earlier in the year. Nice touch of continuity to go with a great match.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Raven’s last matches in WCW at Slamboree 1999.

Tag Titles: Raven/Perry Saturn vs. Billy Kidman/Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chris Benoit/Dean Malenko

Raven and Saturn are back together again for some reason. The Horsemen (Benoit and Malenko) are heels. Raven and Saturn are rather popular. I really like WCW’s style in these matches as three are three men in the ring at once. Oh and Rey/Kidman are the champions. Kidman, Dean and Saturn start us off. Saturn is in a skirt due to a long story with Jericho.

Malenko gets beaten down and Saturn beats up Benoit who I guess got a tag. Saturn throws Kidman over the top in a release belly to belly. That landing looked SICK. You can’t tag someone from another team in this match. BIG Horsemen Suck chant. Raven covers Benoit and avoids a slingshot leg from Rey. Benoit and Kidman drape Raven over the top and then Benoit smashes Billy.

This is a very fast paced match so it’s hard to keep up with everything. A top rope splash by Kidman misses Benoit as Raven is on the floor. He manages to break up the Crossface though and double teams Benoit with Saturn. Frog splash to Benoit gets two. In a move that literally made my jaw drop, Dean launches Rey over his shoulder and Rey LANDS ON THE BUCKLE ON HIS FEET and hits a moonsault press for two. THAT WAS AWESOME.

Saturn dives on everyone not named Benoit and Raven. Benoit hits the Swan Dive to Raven for two but Saturn saves. The Horsemen double team Rey and now they beat up Saturn. The tagging aspect has been dropped for the time being. And of course just as I say that it’s officially Benoit vs. Kidman vs. Saturn. Kidman fights back and the fans cheer. BIG superkick from Saturn takes him down though. The crowd is really into this.

Benoit hits a springboard forearm over the top (think Jericho and his dropkick to the apron) to take out Saturn. The two of them are in the ring and a northern lights suplex gets two for the Canadian. Here are the Rolling Germans but Kidman makes the save. Dean gets a tag and gets rolled up by Saturn in a reversal to the Cloverleaf. Saturn is knocked to the floor and things slow down a bit.

Dean is like screw slow and KILLS Kidman with a powerbomb for two. Dragon Suplex to Kidman gets a delayed two. Dean tries to throw Billy into the air but Kidman hits a dropkick in mid air to break it up. Russian legsweep takes Benoit down and there’s the tag to Raven for a big reaction. He hits what we would call Three Amigos to Benoit for two. Back to Saturn who is a bit spent.

Rey vs. Saturn vs. Benoit at this point. Saturn saves a pin on Rey as Malenko and Kidman come in. Saturn and Benoit are down and Kidman isn’t sure who to jump on. Dean tries another powerbomb on him but Kidman rolls into a sunset flip. Everything breaks down and the champs hit a SWEET alley-oop rana to Benoit in the corner. They try it on Saturn but he hits a top rope sitout powerbomb to Rey for two. Arn comes in and hits a spinebuster on Saturn to HUGE heel heat. Someone in a Sting mask breaks up the Shooting Star by crotching Kidman. An elevated Even Flow gives Raven/Saturn the belts. Kanyon was in the mask.

Rating: B. This is better than probably any other match I’ve seen in all of WCW so far in 1999. They were all over the place in here and beating the living tar out of each other, which is the best thing you can ask for. Also the popular team wins off a big ending with the DDT. Very good match, but now things are going to fall through the floor, which is WCW in a nutshell.

Raven was bored in WCW and was the only man to walk out when Bischoff said that anyone who wanted out could leave. He would return to ECW and win the Tag Team Titles with Tommy Dreamer. Here’s a defense at Anarchy Rulz 1999.

Tat Team Titles: Tommy Dreamer/Raven vs. Rhino/Steve Corino

It’s a singles match to start as Corino stays on the ramp and Raven is nowhere to be seen. Thankfully Dreamer was just in a baseball jersey and had his gear on underneath. The powerful Rhino hammers away to start but gets caught in the corner for a neckbreaker. The impact hurts Dreamer’s back but he’s still able to chase Corino off. Jack Victory is still in a wheelchair so Dreamer shoves him into a chair shot from Francine. Dreamer gets two on Rhino off a slingshot cross body but Rhino comes back with a spinebuster for two.

Victory is now standing at ringside as Corino throws in a ladder. Dreamer’s DDT is countered, sending Tommy spine first onto a chair. Rhino powerslams Francine but here’s Raven (after he trips over the ropes) with a DDT to Rhino. Corino and Victory come in as well to hammer on the Tag Team Champions but stereo DDTs give Raven and Dreamer pins.

Rating: D. This was the usual match that made no sense if you were trying to pay attention but the fans loved it. Raven and Dreamer were yet another oddball team that had success in spite of their hatred, much in the vein of Candido and Storm a few years back. This was much more of a match than an angle, but that’s something you have to expect from ECW.

Raven left ECW in the middle of 2000 and would up in the WWF. He would start doing hardcore stuff because….well what else was he supposed to do. From Raw on January 29, 2001.

Hardcore Title: Crash vs. Raven

Raven has the cracked gold here. Crash has Molly though so I think he wins this one. Raven has his shopping cart of weapons and rams a charging Crash with it to send him off the ramp. We have shrubbery and a tricycle in there if you’re interested. We go into the crowd almost immediately as Crash hammers away with a trashcan. Crash dives out of the stands with a double axe to take Raven down for two.

They fight into the concession area and Raven finds a mop complete with mop bucket. Bulldog doesn’t work and Raven goes into a wall. Crash tries to crush him with a cart of some kind but misses a tope into said wall. We go out into the street and Crash hits a bulldog onto a park bench. Crash crotches him on a tree. Let that sink in for a minute. That gets two as Raven’s Ninja pops up to make the save and give Raven the win to retain.

Rating: C+. Energetic hardcore match here but at the same time it’s exactly what you would get in any of these matches. The Ninja thing never went anywhere at all but they had an interesting idea I guess. The idea was long since over by this point though but it would be over a year before they ended it.

Another title defense from Wrestlemania X7.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Big Show vs. Kane

Raven is defending and brings out a shopping cart of goodies with him. Before Show is here, Raven tries to jump Kane for no apparent reason. My guess would be drug related mental issues but that’s just speculation. Show makes the LONG walk down the aisle, only to have Raven tossed over the top rope and down onto him. Raven is easily caught so Kane dives off the top and takes them both out, getting two on Kane.

We head into the crowd with Show never getting into the ring and the brawl is on. Bird Boy’s philosophy seems to be let the monsters brawl and sneak in some shots where he can. A street sign to Kane’s head staggers him, only for Kane to throw Raven nearly through a wall. Show chases Raven away and tries to lock themselves into a kind of storage area. Kane will have none of that and breaks the door down to keep beating up Big Show.

Raven tries to choke Kane with a gardening hose but Kane basically lassos him with it before throwing Raven through the window of a small office. Show knocks Kane through the office door before they brawl through the wall between the offices. Raven stomps away before stealing a golf cart, only to have Big Show jump on the back.

Kane steals one of his own and brings the referee along on the chase. According to Raven, there was supposed to be a chase scene around the arena but it never happened. Also they almost hit some cables that would have cut the power to the entire stadium, which would have been awesome and awful at the same time. They fight to the catering area and the Snapple is destroyed, much to Heyman’s chagrin.

Now we head back up the steps to the stage where Kane goes nuts on Big Show, only to get clotheslined back down. Show loads up a gorilla press on Raven but Kane kicks them both off the stage. A legdrop from Kane onto Show is enough for the pin and the title in a crushed part of the set.

Rating: C+. This is a fun hardcore match with the cool brawling spots mixed with the fun and goofy stuff which is how you make for a good hardcore match. These kind of matches were rare, but for the most part this was a more serious kind of Hardcore Title match, which usually makes things better. Kane would hold the title for awhile before it fell back into the goofy style.

And now for what is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever, from Backlash 2001.

Hardcore Title: Raven vs. Rhyno

Rhyno is champion. This is considered one of the best hardcore matches ever so let’s see if it lives up to its hype. Rhyno tries a Gore immediately but Raven drop toeholds him into the stop sign. Trashcan shot gets two. Rhyno takes over with a running shoulder in the corner and the beating begins. Raven gets a trashcan up to block a running charge but it hurts him even more. He falls out to the floor and gets covered for two.

Rhyno sets up the steps and puts Raven in a chair. He tries a run up the stairs to set up a dive, only to crush the chair. Raven uses the same setup but gets a clothesline off the steps for two. Back inside for half a second as Rhyno takes over again. Raven gets his head taken off by a trashcan lid and a sign shot gets two. Back into the ring and Rhyno hits him with a shopping cart. Whatever works I guess.

Drop toehold puts Rhyno into the cart and down he goes. A bunch of sign shots take Rhyno down and a LOUD one does it again. Bulldog out of the corner gets two. Rhyno picks up the shopping cart but Raven gets a trashcan shot in to have the cart fall on Rhyno for two. Cart goes into Rhyno’s ribs but Rhyno gets a sign shot in to get two. Momentum shifts back and forth a lot in this match. Rhyno tries the Gore into the shopping cart but misses and Rhyno is stuck inside the cart. We go to a replay of it and during that the Gore ends Raven. That fits the move as the move is supposed to come out of nowhere, which it did there.

Rating: B. Well they were right, this was good. The key thing here is it never got silly. This was more about violence than the weapons if that makes sense. Most of the time there would be comedy spots in something like this but here, it was all about the violence and the brutality out there, making for a far better and more entertaining match.

2002 was mostly spent winning and losing the Hardcore Title (26 reigns overall) before it was off to TNA. Raven would chase the NWA World Title, including this match at Weekly PPV #42 on April 30, 2003.

NWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Raven

From April 30, 2003 with Jarrett defending. Raven has Julio Dinero with him but unfortunately not the more famous lackey: CM Punk. He also has his chick Alexis Laree, more famous as Mickie James. This is billed as the showdown with Raven wanting to claim his destiny. Feeling out process to start with Raven slamming the champion down and celebrating. A drop toehold ticks Jeff off even more so he erupts with right hands and a dropkick to send Raven out to the floor.

Raven is sent into the barricade but some interference from the Gathering (Raven’s stable) lets him take over again. Jeff knocks Raven down and dives on the Gathering as he foreshadows his lucha libre skills. Another drop toehold puts Jarrett into the steps as Raven has been busted open on something. Dinero has set up a table for Raven who lays a bloody Jarrett on the wood. Jeff gets inside before Raven can dive on him though and the fight continues.

Dinero slides in a chair for the third drop toehold from Raven for two. A knee to the ribs puts Jarrett down again and Raven kicks him in the head like the villain that he is. There’s a sleeper as the fans are behind Jarrett. Jeff comes back with a jawbreaker and a Diamond Cutter of all things to put both guys down. Some right hands block the Raven Effect and a nice dropkick gets two for the champ.

Dinero gets a dropkick as well and Jarrett slams Alexis. Another Raven Effect attempt is countered with an enziguri for two and a catapult into the corner gets the same. The Stroke hits from out of nowhere for another near fall but no real pop from the crowd. A sloppy Raven Effect gets the same but Jeff comes back with a Cactus Clothesline to send both outside. Raven is laid out on the table and Jeff drops a middle rope elbow to drive him through it.

Back inside and Jarrett lays Raven out with a DDT but Dinero makes the save. The referee FINALLY ejects the Gathering but Raven shoves Jarrett into the referee, knocking him into the barricade. Both guys kick each other low as the Disciples of the New Church come out to brawl with the Gathering. Raven calls out Extreme Revolution (your usual ECW guys) to destroy and handcuff Jarrett.

Saturn and Credible hit a Conchairto with superkicks on Jarrett but the lights go out. Back on and here’s Sabu to take out Raven and the rest of the ECW guys. Everyone else leaves and Jarrett ducks a chair shot, sending the chair into the ropes and back onto Raven’s head for two. Bill Behrens (boss) comes out to uncuff Jarrett but Raven grabs the Even Flow for two. Not that it matters as Jarrett pops up and hits the Stroke for the pin.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this until everything fell apart at the end. There had to be some insanity in there but based on this and this alone, giving Raven the title wouldn’t have been the worst idea. There’s chemistry here and a natural dichotomy between these two which makes for a good match like this one.

He would take a break from the title chase to help out an ECW buddy at Weekly PPV #81 on February 18, 2004.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk

From February 18, 2004. Punk and Dinero are still the Gathering even though they’re not under Raven’s control anymore. Apparently this is Raven’s big return from an unknown amount of time gone. Dinero blasts Funk in the back with a chair before the bell as things starts in a brawl. Raven puts on a right side up Tarantula on Punk before Dinero comes in to save his heel partner. It’s SO strange to see Punk with shoulder length dirty blonde hair and yellow shorts.

Everyone heads outside where Funk is busted open. Punk takes Terry back inside to talk a lot of trash but Terry comes back with a Stunner of all things to send CM to the floor. Dinero comes in but gets decked as well. There’s the spinning toe hold and a small package for two on Julio as Punk makes the save. Dinero’s top rope backsplash hits Terry’s eternally damaged knees and Funk crawls over to the corner….but gets punched by CM Punk because the blood has blinded him.

The tag brings in Raven a few seconds later and Bird Boy cleans house. We get the rag (don’t ask) on Punk’s face and a bulldog/clothesline combo takes the Gathering down. Another Funk Stunner puts Dinero down and we get the TUMBLEWEED (abdominal stretch into a rolling rollup) for two. Raven comes back in and hits a quick DDT for the pin on Dinero.

Rating: D. This was about having Funk in there and that’s about it. The Stunners were out of nowhere but almost ignored by the announcers. I’ll give Terry this much: he isn’t just out there throwing punches and nothing more. It’s also strange to see Punk as a glorified indy guy instead of one of the biggest stars in the world.

Raven would be in the first Monster’s Ball match at Victory Road 2004.

Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Raven

This is the original Monster’s Ball match, which originally was far different. The idea here is that the guys have been locked up without light or food for 24 hours. This aspect has since completely disappeared due to reasons of sanity and now it’s just a regular hardcore match. The announcers say that Raven has the advantage here as he’s smaller and crazier which makes sense, at least in the lack of food and light idea.

We have a table set up inside of 30 seconds. Abyss is dominating here for the most part. It’s really more of an intense triple threat rather than a hardcore match and now we have chairs coming in. Raven really is underrated in the ring. I love what Brown does by just chucking a chair at Raven’s head. That’s awesome. Naturally we have a ref bump because they’re required I suppose.

Now we move to the big spots of the match as we have Brown sitting on the top rope and Abyss busts out the tacks. Since he’s the only one wearing a shirt you know that he’s the guy that’s going to wind up going through them. Yep, Raven comes in to powerbomb him while he’s trying to suplex Brown. That wasn’t predictable at all. Not a bit. Raven gets two off of it and then we set up another stupid spot as the table is set up in the corner and Raven gets Pounced (a spear/tackle) through it. It was a mess of course.

Rating: D+. These things are going to happen and while I can’t stand them, I get that there’s a point to them. There is a market for these I guess and at least they’re keeping it shorter. There’s really no way to make these good without going too far, but this was really lackluster even for one of these.

Raven would appear at an ECW reunion show called Hardcore Homecoming in June 2005.

Sandman vs. Raven

Does this need an explanation? Raven has Meanie and the Musketeer with him for no apparent reason. Raven REALLY needs to go back to the t-shirt and the jeans. Raven makes fun of Sandman’s entrance not being that cool. We’re less than 48 hours from One Night Stand and one of the most awesome entrances of all time, so that’s just very amusing.

Raven is apparently the only wrestler ever to have an action figure in WWE, WCW, ECW and TNA. That’s…kind of cool I guess. It would be hilarious to see Raven just sitting around coming up with random as all goodness thoughts like that. I’ve never heard Raven talk this much and I like it. He picks on Hat Guy also, which has to be the highlight of his career.

Sandman has to beat Musketeer, who is dressed like a guy from 19th century France, to get to Raven. They have a sword vs. cane fight. They did this before I think and it was stupid then too. Remember the match hasn’t started yet. Oh hey let’s get the match going. Raven hits like 6 shots to Sandman’s head with the cane before the ball shot puts him down.

We get a Johnny Polo chant. Geez has there ever been a guy that changed so much from one gimmick to another? And now we have Sandman in the Musketeer’s hat. Did that gimmick come to Paulie in a dream or something? There’s a ladder on the floor for no apparent reason. The fans that are standing up to see this get a nice SIT THE F DOWN chant. Sandman comes back and we’re in the ring with the ladder now.

We go back to the 80s with a handful of powder though as we get the DDT for two. That’s one issue I have here: 8 years ago this would have been over for about an hour but here it gets two. The other thing is it’s more or less impossible to have a guy actually be a heel which is ok but it can get a bit annoying though.

Sandman gets the White Russian Leg Sweep and then the Rolling Rock. Meanie comes in and completely misses the moonsault again. Not that Sandman moves, but Meanie just completely misses. They do another and he misses it again. The THIRD one finally hits it. And yep, it’s a complete mess now. Donny Allen, who apparently was the ECW jobber, comes out to beat up Sandman but Mikey runs him off. After offering a beer to Sandman, he turns on him for no apparent reason with the Whippersnapper for the pin.

Rating: D+. It was a wild brawl and that’s all it was supposed to be. Raven outsmarts Sandman again as Joey says and all is right with the world. What more can you really ask for? Both guys get pops though, which is never really that interesting but whatever. It was a fun match so that’s fine.

Back to the NWA World Title chase at Slammiversary 2005.

NWA World Title: AJ Styles vs. Raven vs. Abyss vs. Monty Brown vs. Sean Waltman

The idea here is you have to hang the belt above the ring, sort of like a reverse ladder match. However before you can do that, you have to qualify by getting a fall on someone else. Whoever is pinned/submits goes to the penalty box for two minutes. Waltman dives off the box onto Raven while Styles dives off a ladder onto Brown. Brown shrugs him off and goes inside where he Pounces Raven and pins him to qualify. Raven has to go to the box.

AJ hits a huge dive to take out Waltman and Abyss so it’s Brown/Waltman in the ring. AJ sets for the springboard forearm but Abyss breaks it up. A spinwheel kick puts Abyss down but Brown breaks up the Bronco Buster. Raven is let out ten seconds early for some reason. Alpha Bomb pins Waltman which doesn’t change anything for Brown but Waltman goes to the box. Raven has a table set up at ringside.

AJ dives off the cage to take out Abyss. The camera work is lacking a bit here as we keep missing stuff. Brown hits the Pounce on AJ but Raven pulls him to the floor for the pin to become eligible. Abyss loads up Shock Treatment on Brown but Raven beats them both up with a trashcan. Styles and Waltman are forming an alliance in the box. Waltman is now out and he grabs another trashcan to take Brown down with.

The clock ends for AJ as Abyss hits the Black Hole Slam to pin Brown. AJ and Waltman aren’t eligible yet. As I say that AJ hits the Clash on Raven but Abyss makes the save. Pele puts Abyss down and Waltman cracks the masked man with a chair. No one has used a ladder yet. Waltman puts Abyss on the table and AJ hits Spiral Tap, which is good for a pin for AJ.

Brown is released and here’s the first ladder. Raven throws Brown into the barricade and AJ is going up the ladder. He drops the title, but Waltman hands it to him. Naturally that’s a swerve and Waltman hits the X Factor off the ladder, good for a pin. There’s a table in the corner now too. Raven staples Waltman’s head and Abyss is free. Abyss and Raven both get staples between their legs but Waltman gets taken down as well.

Waltman gets up first and chokes Abyss. Does anyone know where the belt is? Waltman sets up a ladder as Styles is released. They both go up and fight on top of the ladder but Abyss shoves it over. A Pounce puts Abyss through the table but Raven DDTs Brown. He goes up the ladder and Abyss can’t stop him, giving Raven the win and the title.

Rating: B-. This was a fun match but as always with these matches, they’re wild brawls that no one can keep up with. Well ok maybe that’s a stretch but they’re still chaotic. It’s probably a little too complicated but this is TNA’s signature mess and that’s ok for the most part. Raven winning should have won the title a year or so earlier but still, this worked well and he would have a good reign.

The reign wouldn’t last long and Raven would move into a long feud with Larry Zbyszko. Here’s one of Larry’s enforcers at Sacrifice 2006.

Raven vs. A-1

Larry sits in a chair in the ring before the match starts. Larry gets in his face so A-1 hits Raven with said chair to get an early advantage. A-1 rams him into the corner a bunch of times as Larry sits in on commentary. They head to the floor and A-1 rams him into the post a few times to stay on the back. Raven’s back goes into the barricade as the beating on that thing continues.

Back into the ring and A-1 fires off shoulders in the corner. A corner splash/forearm puts Raven down again as we’re still waiting on Bird Boy’s first offense. A-1 kicks him down but Raven FINALLY gets in some right hands in the corner. A clothesline out of the corner buts A-1 down and he fires off some kicks. An Edge-O-Matic puts Raven down but Larry’s distraction lets A-1 get in a cheap shot. A charge misses and the Raven Effect gets the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really dull match, but that could be said about almost any match in this Raven vs. Larry feud. It just kept going on and on with nothing ever really being accomplished. We got matches like Raven vs. Kanyon out of it which didn’t make anyone interested in the match or anything like that, but who cares about stuff like that?

Raven would help Abyss in his war with Rellik (which is Killer spelled backwards) and Black Reign (which is stupid). From Turning Point 2007.

Abyss/??? vs. Black Reign/Rellik

Oh so apparently the partner was known and it’s Raven. This is the Match of Ten Thousand Tacks. There are tacks everywhere and there’s a bag of them above the ring on a pole. Wave to Russo everyone! Tenay continues to treat the fans like idiots by reminding them that Rellik is Killer spelled backwards, thereby taking away the monster aspect and making him sound like a 13 year old trying to be clever on AIM.

Everyone but Raven heads to the floor so Raven jumps over the top to take everyone out at once. Abyss and Reign go up into the crowd as Raven uses his Russian legsweep to send Rellik into the barricade twice. Back at ringside, Abyss sets up a table with tacks on top of it. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to talk about in this match as it’s the same match Abyss did every week in this period.

Abyss gets his hand on whatever weapon Reign usually uses which has a sharp blade on it. That busts Reign open and everyone is back inside now. Abyss is busted via something. It was a chair shot. Good enough. Rellik slides in a bed of tacks and drives a handful of them into Raven’s mouth. Things slow way down as they’re filling in time for the finish now. Rellik goes for the bag of tacks above the ring but gets powerbombed off by Raven.

Raven Effect gets two on Reign. Now Bird Man is bleeding from the mouth. Oh man Abyss is COVERED in blood. We’re just waiting on the big spot to end this. Reign hits everyone with a kendo stick but as he’s choking Raven he gets flipped off the corner and into a table covered in tacks. Raven misses an elbow through a table to Rellik who gets the bag of tacks off the pole. Abyss goes for a chokeslam to Rellik but gets something spit into his eyes. There’s a Black Hole Slam into them instead and we’re done.

Rating: C+. It’s a big brawl with lots of blood which is what most of the rating is for. The problem with Abyss is he always had to top what he did before, which became a problem as he had too much stuff to do. Not a bad hardcore match but the tacks spot had been done so many times before that it’s hard to get fired up for them again.

Raven would be gone for most of 2008 before returning as his hardcore stuff. Here’s a match from Slammiversary 2009.

Raven/Daffney vs. Abyss/Taylor Wilde

I’m still not sure if Taylor is hot or not. Ok she looks good here so we’ll go with yes. The genders pair off of course but Taylor is launched into both of them before Daffney is splashed by Abyss. Taylor hits an FU on Daffney but Stevie trips her up to shift the momentum. Daffney is thrown over the top down onto the guys and Taylor hits a dive onto them also.

The guys go into the crowd and Daffney follows. Here come the weapons as one goes upside the head of Daffney. They fight up towards the stage and Raven chokes him with a guardrail. The girls have kind of been forgotten about at this point. There’s a table with a red cloth over it. Oh there they are and Daffney is down. Not that we get to see it or anything but at least they’re not dead.

Oddly enough Daffney goes through the aforementioned table off a splash by Taylor off a speaker. Into the ring now go the men and Abyss has a bag of something. Raven gets a chair shot in to bust Abyss open (film at 11). Drop toehold puts Abyss into the chair again and the cut opens up even more. Here are some kendo stick shots but Taylor pops up with a garbage can lid to Raven to break it up.

Raven gets some trashcan shots in but they’re no sold by Abyss and here comes the monster, cracking him with the stick. Now we’re talking about West’s fantasy team for some reason. Chokeslam takes out Raven but Stevie has the referee to prevent the cover from being counted. Raven’s weapon shots are rather weak. Taylor is launched onto Raven but Stevie interferes again. There are the tacks but Daffney winds up going into them in a pretty awesome spot. Stevie breaks it up AGAIN but walks into Abyss. Even Flow (Raven Effect) gets two and there’s the Black Hole Slam to the tacks to end this.

Rating: B-. Eh pretty much just a hardcore match but at the same time that’s all it needed to be here I think. Abyss’ willingness to more or less have his body destroyed can help him a lot and that’s what he did here. The girls didn’t do much here at all but at least Taylor looked good in blue so it’s not like they were a problem. Props to Daffney for the tacks bump too so overall, not bad here.

Another year, another ECW reunion. From Hardcore Justice 2010.

Raven vs. Tommy Dreamer

For no apparent reason, Foley is the referee. Beaulah is here and is still hot. The fans chant Uncle Scotty to complete this joke. They do the drop toehold spot and Dreamer gets beaten up in front of his kids. Dreamer might be the first guy to bleed tonight. It’s your usual stuff here with the beatdown that isn’t that great but the history makes it watchable. Raven is busted.

The signs are brought in as is the ladder. They do some decent stuff with that for two for Raven. Dreamer Driver gets no cover. We finally get to the barbed wire which is wrapped around Raven’s face. He taps but the BWO runs in to make sure it doesn’t count. This needs a Sandman run-in. Down goes Foley for no apparent reason. Raven Effect gets two. Or is it the Even Flow? Whatever.

Foley and Socko, which they can’t say, takes down Raven and that guy from earlier that we couldn’t recognize in the Blue Meanie skit runs down with a top rope leg drop for Dreamer. Allegedly his name is Lupus? Mandible Claw with wire to Raven of course doesn’t put him down and he cuffs Dreamer.

Beaulah comes in to stop the Rock/Foley ending in the Last Man Standing match which doesn’t work. Dreamer manages to DDT Raven while cuffed behind his back for two. Raven hits Dreamer in the knee with the chair and a DDT on it ends this. Yes, Dreamer jobbed to Raven in the final encounter. I am about to give up.

Rating: D. This started out as an ok brawl but just got insane. To be fair it was a pretty brutal match but the ending is just stupid. The problem is that this feud was perfectly finished in ECW and there was no need for this. Dreamer winning was the right way to go here so of course they didn’t do that. Not a horrible match, but it’s just showing how bad this idea was overall as this feud is one that didn’t need to continue.

We’ll wrap it up with an indy show for the Insane Clown Posse at Bloodymania V.

Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody

The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.

Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.

Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.

Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.

Raven is a guy who was almost all psychology but his in ring work could back him up most of the time. The problem though was once he left ECW, almost everything felt like an attempt to recreate the most successful character in his career. That’s nothing new in wrestling, but it rarely works. Still though, he’s incredibly entertaining when he’s on his game and that was very often.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Why does no one bring props to the ring anymore? It doesn’t have to be anything special, but something simple can enhance an appearance. Look at something like Cena’s response to Rock a few years ago with the pinwheel. It was something so stupid but it helped the visual. Hold something, set something up, anything. Just add some spice to it.

There’s no chance this isn’t good: Vince McMahon.

WWF World Title: Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This should have headlined Mania 15. Vince slaps Austin while the Stooges and Slaughter are there for backup. Vince grabs the mic and mentions the one arm tied behind your back line that Austin said earlier. He insists it’s the right arm, the Stunner arm. After a ton of stalling, heeeeeeeeeeeere’s Dude!

Dude Love comes out and says he doesn’t feel much love here tonight. He says he has to protect Vince because Vince signs the checks. Vince shoves Dude after he talks nice about Foley so Dude loads up the Claw. Austin comes over out of boredom. Love is the new big bad from Vince and is the opponent at Unforgiven. Again, Foley is used to make the new megastar look good.

Since this is Vince, we’ll have a lot of jumping to do. From Raw on Febraury 13, 1999.

Steve Austin vs. The Corporation

It’s a gauntlet match and Shamrock is up first. Slugout to start of course with Shamrock taking him down. The fans tell Vince that he screwed Bret. Austin escapes the ankle lock and hits the Stunner, but here’s Test for the DQ. He’s the next man as well and is Stunned in less than a minute, but Kane runs in for the seconds DQ. Kane chokes away in the corner but gets caught by the Thesz Press.

Austin pounds away but Kane gets a boot up to stop Austin. There’s the chokeslam but Austin kicks out at two. The Tombstone is countered into a Stunner but Chyna comes in for the DQ. I think the match only ends in a pinfall which is why they keep running in. Chyna comes in and takes a Stunner so here’s Boss Man. Austin hooks a sleeper but Boss Man escapes and gets the nightstick for the DQ. Austin is dead so Vince comes in and pins him.

Rating: D. You can barely call this a match as it was really just a way for Vince to get one up on Austin. The longest of the falls lasted about 80 seconds, so what are you expecting this to be? Nothing to see here but Vince’s charisma is incredible when he’s out there with Austin which makes up for some of the flaws. Also it’s less than seven minutes long so how annoyed can I get?

The main event from In Your House XXVII, the only time this happened on PPV.

Vince McMahon vs. Steve Austin

This had to headline a pay per view at some point. Austin gets in the cage first so Vince makes him wait a bit longer. Steve gets tired of waiting and chases Vince around the cage but the boss gets inside to hide. The bell hasn’t rung yet. Austin tries to climb up the cage but Vince punches from his high ground. Steve slips off the side of the cage and seems to have twisted his knee. Like an idiot, Vince comes out to check on it and gets clotheslined by a healthy Austin.

McMahon is sent into the side of the cage and choked with a cord. They fight into the crowd with Austin in complete control. Austin hits him in the head with the bell, making it ring the hard way. The match still hasn’t actually started yet. Back to ringside with Vince being sent into the steps and running into the crowd to try to get away. The beating continues until Austin knocks Vince back to ringside. Vince tries to climb into the cage where there’s less to cause him pain.

Austin won’t let that happen though and rams Vince face first into the cage over and over. Vince tries to climb again but this time Austin follows him up and slams Vince’s head into the top of the cage, sending him flying off the cage and onto the Spanish announce table. McMahon’s head bounces off a monitor, knocking him out cold for a bit in a scary landing. Everything stops as Vince is taken away by medics and Austin chills in the cage.

The Fink is about to announce Austin as the winner but Austin isn’t cool with that. He guaranteed to take Vince apart tonight, and since the bell never rang that’s not good enough for him. Austin asks the doctor if Vince is still breathing, because if he is the fight isn’t done yet. Vince is pulled off the stretcher and hit in the back with a backboard before finally being thrown into the cage for the opening bell.

Austin hits a quick clothesline and a middle rope elbow before going to leave, but Vince makes the eternal mistake of flipping Austin off. Steve climbs back inside and stomps a mudhole in the corner. Somehow Vince fights out with a low blow to get himself a breather before climbing up the cage. Austin pulls Vince down off the cage and leaves him in a heap. The boss is busted open and Lawler is losing his mind.

Steve can’t help but smile and climb the cage but Vince looks up at him and flips him off AGAIN, bringing Austin back to the ring. Austin stomps on him even more, leaving Vince crumpled down in the corner. There’s the Stunner but as Austin talks trash, a monster called Paul Wight breaks through the ring and throws Austin into the cage before helping Vince to his feet. Wight throws Austin against the cage but the wall breaks, allowing Austin to drop down for the win.

Rating: C. This is a hard one to grade because it was again a story rather than a match. The ending was very smart though as Wight got to debut but also look strong with Austin winning due to Wight’s strength. Austin got to give Vince the beating he needed to and win a the same time, but Vince gets to continue the feud with his new monster. In case you didn’t recognize the name, Wight would soon be called The Big Show Paul Wight.

Vince and Shane would join forces to fight Austin at King of the Ring 1999.

Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Steve Austin

Oh of course Shane is in it. This is a ladder match for control of the company, which is of course logical: the future of a billion dollar company and its ownership is being decided by a ladder match. Shane is announced as the replacement…for himself…making the whole thing earlier tonight about Shane being too hurt and a replacement being needed, you guessed it, COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

That should be Russo’s middle name: Vince Completely Pointless Russo. The problem with Shane being the partner is that it’s exactly what it was supposed to be in the first place, so the whole idea of having a replacement and the whole idea of having him not compete gets the crowd into it. Then that night it’s announced that it’s still him, which makes perfect sense. The partner is actually announced as Steve Blackman but GTV pops up to show that Shane is ok.

Shane and the Posse try to get out of the arena but Shawn stops him and says go to the ring. We’ll ignore the fact that Shane has 25% of the company and could just fire Shawn and appoint one of the Posse to his spot and let Blackman do his thing but whatever. Shawn brings Shane to the ring and says it’s the original match, again living up to Russo’s name.

The set is really cool as it’s a bunch of ladders holding up a canopy of ladders. It really is awesome looking. Austin’s music sets off a freaking eruption. I don’t care what anyone says: Hogan was never this hot, period. Austin would be gone for neck surgery in about six months, taking a year off to FINALLY get fixed after Owen hurt him. The Corporation is barred from ringside in case you’re wondering.

Lawler brings up the obvious point that Austin is going to dominate every one on one match here so the McMahons need to double team him. I know it’s basic, but that’s what an analyst is supposed to do. This has been all Austin to the shock of no one. Shane has a McMahon 6:32 jersey on which is kind of clever. Shane hits a clothesline to finally change things a bit. We get a Home Improvement reference to really date the show a bit. We’re up at the entrance now and Shane climbs up into the display of ladders and Austin, ever the genius, follows him.

After knocking Shane back to the floor, he stops to throw up two fingers for the crowd. See what he did right there? He took about three seconds and got the crowd into it all over again. Any wrestling crowd will love nothing more than to be acknowledged. That is one of the few universal truths in wrestling. Look at guys like Rock, Austin, Hogan and Flair.

They’re four of the biggest names ever and every one of them gets the crowd involved in their promos and matches. Flair shouts at fans and says he’ll make women out of people’s mothers, Hogan does the hand to the ear, Austin flips them off, and Rock gets them chanting his name. They directly talk to the crowd rather than saying something about the crowd like mentioning a team, which isn’t directly at them.

See what I’m getting at here? The big stars are the ones that interact with the fans and it always works as it always will. Austin puts Vince through two of the ladders holding up the set which doesn’t fall, completely defying the laws of physics. In other words, the top of a ladder which is maybe two feet by six inches is holding up a ladder display that’s about 12 feet long.

They knock it out and the whole thing crashes down on Vince and Shane. That’s a great looking spot. Since they own the company though, they’re fine and catch Austin as he’s setting up the ladder. Who cares that they should be dead or severely injured? Austin goes airborne and puts Shane through the Spanish announce table which is one of the few classic bumps that will never die in my mind.

Vince knocks Austin onto the English table which doesn’t break at all. That has to be some kind of a joke. King’s microphone is broken. Ah he’s back. Austin now has a bad leg and stops Vince with a low blow. Austin is just beating the tar out of them now. Shane starts tapping out which is funny to me for some reason, which apparently means it’s good that he’s wearing black pants as Ross continues to just be freaking stupid.

Vince stops Austin from getting the case and the heat is great. The ladder is broken so they try to boost Shane up. Of course it doesn’t work and Austin is up. The look on his face more or less says chick are you crazy? Both guys get stunned. Ross says it’s in the book and you can see it coming.

Austin goes up and the briefcase goes up higher. This was another thing that went absolutely nowhere as the person that controlled it was never revealed. Vince gets his hands on it as Austin goes after everyone. Shane shoves both guys down and Shane goes up for the briefcase.

Austin, knowing he might get screwed, would announced tomorrow night that while still CEO he had booked a title shot the next night on Raw against Taker, which is still to this day the highest rated wrestling match in cable history, drawing an insane quarter hour of something like an 8.4.

Rating: C-. It’s ok, but that’s all. The screwjob ending was about as much of a given as you could ask for, yet somehow this might have been the best match all night since the tag match got less than five minutes. This was just a way to make you watch Raw the next night, which is what it’s designed to do I guess. They really should have had HHH in there acting for Vince and had the McMahons interfere instead so that the match would have been more solid. This just wasn’t that interesting as it was about 80% Austin which is exactly what was expected.

HHH would become the Big Bad of the WWF and Vince would get a WWF Title shot on Smackdown, September 16, 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

Say it with me: Shane is guest referee. Vince jumps HHH to start and the fight is on. McMahon is in a suit here and gets stomped down by the world champion himself. HHH easily punches Vince down and this is pure domination so far. Shane taunts his father but Vince comes back with a low blow. It’s not enough to stop HHH though and Vince gets stomped down even more.

With McMahon on the floor, the champion chokes away with a camera cord. Vince is beaten onto the announce table and Shane is begging with HHH to not beat on his father anymore. HHH drops an elbow off the barricade through Vince through the announce table. Back in and HHH grabs a chair, but Shane takes it away from him. That works for about two seconds as HHH shoves Shane down and hits Vince with the chair, busting him open.

Shane goes after HHH but Chyna makes it 2-1 and Shane is beaten down as well. A chair shot to his back keeps Shane down and here come Linda, Patterson and Brisco. The old men get beaten up and Chyna holds Linda while HHH punches Vince even more. HHH loads up the Pedigree but Austin comes in through the crowd to beat up the Game (HHH’s nickname). HHH and Chyna both get Stunners and Austin puts Vince on top of HHH for the pin and the title, blowing the roof off the crowd.

Rating: D. This was barely a match but it was entertaining enough. Having Vince as champion obviously wasn’t going to last but to call it a fun moment is an understatement. That being said, it really wasn’t all that smart of a moment as HHH had only won the title about three weeks earlier. That doesn’t exactly make a questionable champion look all that strong.

And another match at Armageddon 1999.

HHH vs. Vince McMahon

There are over 35 minutes to go when the music starts. That’s just not a good sign at all. Stephanie comes out first in a leather jacket and a pink top. She was ridiculously hot with straight hair. Sweet goodness that’s an awesome song. This is of course under hardcore rules. This is about the best HHH has ever been as a heel as he was having great matches and was as evil as you could ask him to be.

You really felt like he was the horrible man he was built up to be. That’s always a great sign. Wow it’s weird hearing that he’s 28 here. HHH runs at him with the hammer but Vince has powder. So what if it completely missed his face? Vince just throws punches, all of which sound painful as all goodness.

We get a joke from Ross saying they’re from Idaho. In case you don’t get that, the term for hitting someone harder than you should or legit is called potatoing them. I love how they just left the Spanish announce table in pieces like that. We’re in the crowd now and it’s all Vince.

They’re in the area just outside the arena and you can’t see anything. We’re back at ringside now and it’s basic stuff so far. And here’s Mankind with a shopping cart full of weapons. Ok then. The weapons of choice are a garbage can and lid. HHH gets knocked into the audience and wouldn’t you know it he lands in front of Stephanie. What a coincidence! She can’t act. That’s all there is to it.

Vince goes into the cart of weapons as someone is shouting in Spanish. I think it translates to GET US A NEW FREAKING TABLE! We’re up by the set now which is a military theme. HHH hits him in the head with a sandbag. Yeah it’s that kind of a match. SICK shopping cart shot to the head. I had a flashback to Supermarket Sweep there so this show rocks now. And yet Vince’s hair is still perfect. That’s very impressive. Vince gets slammed into a helicopter.

In a SICK spot, a machine gun on a pivot is swung around to slam into his head. Freaking OW. I can’t really criticize the lack of wrestling here as there’s only one wrestler in it. We’re in the back now with HHH dominating. Vince can’t find HHH. That sounds like a really boring game.

We’re outside now and Vince is just walking around looking for him. HHH tries to pull a Rikishi and run him over. For some reason the announcers sound surprised that HHH was driving. They fight on the car for a bit as Ross is of course freaking out. We fight on a limo now and Vince gets slammed on it.

Back in the arena and HHH climbs up a scaffold. This isn’t going to end well is it? Vince falls and while it’s ok it’s not great. Holy chant comes out of course. Finally we get some blood. My goodness we’re near the ring! HHH gets a mic and talks to Stephanie. This is rather amusing actually. Vince comes back like a Night of the Living Dead zombie.

WE GO BACK INTO THE RING!!! HHH raises a pipe over Vince’s head but stops to use a hammer. Good. I’m glad the hammer didn’t have to feel left out. That wouldn’t have been nice. HHH does Suck It to Stephanie. Nice imagery. A low blow saves Vince. Vince gets the hammer and has HHH in the corner and here’s Stephanie saying she wants to hit him.

Naturally Vince winds up getting it as Stephanie still can’t act. She’s still face here until they hug. Oh HHH got the pin. This was the start of the McMahon-Helmsley Era which dominated the storylines until the end of 2000. Crowd reacts to the hug. I have no clue how they’re reacting but they’re reacting. Seriously why is JR surprised about this? They’re the freaking McMahons. Dang she looks great here.

Rating: B-. All things considered, this was good. When I say that, you have to remember that Vince isn’t a wrestler so this more or less had to be a massive freaking brawl the entire time. Now when I say time, keep in mind this went HALF AN HOUR. This needed about ten minutes cut out to really be good as it just got repetitive at the end. Still though, this was solid brawling throughout and entertaining so I’ll give it that. Too long though.

King of the Ring 2000 would see a six man tag for the WWF Title.

WWF Title: HHH/Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon vs. Rock/Kane/Undertaker

Yeah those sides are fair. Like mentioned earlier, if HHH or either McMahon is pinned, HHH loses the title to whoever gets the pin. If HHH’s team wins, HHH fights Angle. There’s no explanation of how this came about but HHH was feuding with Rock and Taker showed up to get at Vince and Shane was with Vince and Kane was just there for the sake of being there. All of the faces get their own entrances. Shane is a pussy apparently.

The pussy starts with Kane. And that’s more or less the high point. This match goes on nearly TWENTY MINUTES and I stopped caring after about two. It’s just filling in the time the whole way rather than anything actually of note going on. The faces keep fighting amongst themselves while the heels keep getting in a few shots here and there. One major problem here is that they never actually explain why Take hates Vince.

Now if you followed wrestling well enough around this time, it’s not that hard to figure out, but dang man, give us something at least. The match just goes on and on and it’s boring as any and all goodness. We get that the faces don’t get along. You don’t need to remind us a dozen times per minute. Everyone beats on everyone as we’re in the orgy mode here. Nothing of note happens as it’s all just one big mess as everyone beats on everyone with no particular rhyme or reason.

FINALLY we get to the point as most everyone goes outside and given the amount of time left we know that someone is going to get a pinfalll soon and end this. Since Vince is alone in the ring, I’m willing to bet that it’s him. And yep, there’s a Rock Bottom and a new champion to celebrate. And yep that’s all there is.

Rating: D-. Oy thank goodness this is over. No one cared about the thing but since we had seen Rock vs. HHH a half dozen times they needed to shift things, and since there’s some law against Kane getting a title shot on PPV, this is what we got instead. It was a weird idea and seriously, did anyone thing there wouldn’t be a new champion? I’m just glad this is over.

Vince would hook up with Trish Stratus because….well look at her. Here’s one of the resulting matches from Raw on February 26, 2001.

Vince McMahon/Trish Stratus vs. William Regal/Stephanie McMahon

Vince brings out that bucket of sewage. Apparently Stephanie shoved Trish into manure on Smackdown. Trish kisses Vince to start and the girls go at it first. All Trish to start as I guess Stephanie and Regal are the faces here. Steph gets a suplex for two. They had the best match you could ever imagine they would have the previous night. DDT gets two for Stephanie.

They botch….something as Stephanie goes down. It looked like a clothesline I think but I’m not sure. Vince comes in and Steph has no idea of it. Regal backs off to huge boos. Vince gets a mic and Regal brings in the bucket. He says that what Vince wants, Vince gets. He tells Trish to get in here and tells the referee that this match is over.

Stephanie and Vince are apparently all cool and Regal takes Trish down with a neckbreaker. With Vince’s direction, Stephanie covers her with the mop in the sewage and shoves her face in the bucket. Vince says that there’s one Daddy’s Little Girl and Trish was just a toy, a toy Vince is tired of playing with. Trish would be back with Vince like next week. This was barely a match so no rating.

Another Vince vs. Shane match from Wrestlemania X7.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.

We’ll jump ahead to Royal Rumble 2002 for another street fight.

Ric Flair vs. Vince McMahon

Remember this is a street fight. Vince shoves him down to start and struts, so Flair punches him down and struts as well. Flair wins a chop battle in the corner (duh) so Vince goes to the eyes to escape. There’s the Flair Flop followed by a Flair Flip in the corner as Vince is in full control. We head to the floor and get our first weapon shot, with Vince pounding on Ric with a metal Keep Off sign.

There’s a trashcan shot to the head and Flair is busted open. How thin must the skin on his forehead be? Anyway, Vince steals a camera from someone to take a picture of Flair’s cut before we head back inside. Since he’s a jerk, Vince starts working over the knee in (less skilled) Flair fashion. The leg is wrapped around the post and Vince puts on a Figure Four that Dusty Rhodes would be jealous of.

Flair turns the hold over and Vince IMMEDIATELY lets go of the hold. So not only is he better at it than some wrestlers, he’s also smart. Never let it be said that Vince doesn’t know what he’s doing. Vince bails to the floor and grabs a lead pipe that he used to bust Flair open in the build up to the match. Flair catches him coming in with a low blow and pounds away on the floor.

Vince takes a monitor shot to the head and in a weird spot, we see a replay on the monitor on the table as the live match goes on. Vince is busted open now and we head back inside. Scratch that as we go back outside immediately where Flair’s family takes pictures of Vince’s cut. Set it up earlier, pay it off later. Good move. Back in and Flair kicks him low again just because he can, cracks him in the head with the pipe and ends it with the Figure Four.

Rating: C+. At the end of the day, this match makes as much sense as almost anything you’ll see. Vince controlled at the beginning, but at the end of the day he’s a boss and Flair is a veteran wrestler and athlete. It makes sense for him to be able to shrug that off and destroy Vince with relative ease once he got the upper hand. On top of that we got some good blood and Vince getting hit in the balls so how can this not be entertaining?

Hey look: a street fight. From Wrestlemania XIX.

Hulk Hogan vs. Vince McMahon

This is a street fight because that’s how Vince rolls and if Hogan loses he has to retire. Hogan pounds away to start before pounding away on the mat. Vince is knocked down into the corner and stomped down for good measure but he gets in a thumb to the eye to give himself a breather. A clothesline takes Hogan down and Vince Pounds away in the corner. He drops some knees into Hogan’s shoulder as we actually get an attempt at psychology here. Seriously, why?

Vince wraps the arm around the post before hooking a test of strength grip with Hulk in trouble. Hogan tries to fight up but gets kicked right back down. That works so well that they do it again before Vince throws Hogan out to the floor. With Hogan in trouble Vince picks up a chair but the swing only hits post. Hogan pounds him down and hits a chair shot to Vince’s head for good measure, busting Vince open.

They head back in, only for Hogan to punch him out to the floor. Another chair shot to the back puts Vince down as does a third. Hogan swings again but knocks out the Spanish announcer by mistake. Vince hits Hogan in his Real American testicles as the slow brawling continues. A chair shot puts Hogan down and Vince pulls out a ladder, making me think this ends badly.

Hulk is busted open too as Vince lays him onto the announce table. In the big spot of the match, Vince climbs the ladder and drops a “leg” through Hogan and through the table. Hogan is thrown back in as Vince gets a lead pipe. He looks up from under the ring apron and has a hilariously evil grin on his face. Vince loads up a pipe shot but Hogan hits him low. Cue RODDY PIPER of all people to blast Hogan in the head with the pipe. This surprises Cole and Tazz because….they’re not that bright. Seriously, Piper and Hogan HATED each other and they’re surprised he attacked Hogan? Why?

Piper leaves and Vince gets two off the pipe shot. This match needs to end like NOW as it’s well past the point of entertaining and is reaching stupid. Vince goes for the pipe but is stopped by the referee, causing the referee to go flying out to the floor. The EVIL French referee from earlier today comes out as Hulk is hit with another pipe shot and a Vince legdrop for two. It’s Hulk Up time though and he lays out both Vince and the crooked referee before hitting the big boot and THREE legdrops to kill Vince dead for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t the worst match in the world but going twenty minutes completely misses the idea of something like this. Again I’m not sure what this accomplishes other than setting up Hogan vs. Piper in a feud that didn’t exactly light the world on fire in 2013. Fun but pretty awful match here.

We’ll stay in 2003 with this match from Vengeance.

Vince McMahon vs. Zach Gowen

For the life of me I have never gotten the point of this angle at all. At least Gowen had a good Seether song for his theme music. Vince dominates early on to the shock of no one. Gowen busted out an Asai Moonsault. His character and angle was annoying as all goodness but to say it’s impressive is an understatement. One of the interesting things here is that Zach is like 150lbs so it’s like wrestling a woman as far as the weight goes.

Vince beats the tar out of him for a long time including a Boston Crab. Again, I don’t get the point to this but it’s Vince in the ring so what do you expect? Gowen makes his comeback and very few people care. Zach goes up top and hits a bulldog. When I say hit I mean miss and when I say bulldog I mean his arm almost touches the back of Vince’s head.

This just isn’t as impressive as it could be, but we get it: he can wrestle on one leg. He doesn’t need 15 minutes to prove it. We get a chair and Vince gets beaten with it and bleeds. Oh dang he’s bleeding a lot. Gowen misses a moonsault and Vince pins him. Yeah seriously that’s the ending. Gowen stands in the ring and gets cheered. Mostly at least but there’s a good deal of booing in there.

Rating: C-. The problem here became evident very quickly: yes, we know he can wrestle on one leg, but after that the appeal goes away and it gets stupid. It’s cool to see, but it gets old fast. If this is cut in half time wise, it’s FAR better and one of the coolest matches ever. It’s still cool and impressive as all goodness, but this went on too long. Decent match though but the ending sucked.

And another from No Mercy 2003.

Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon

I Quit match and Stephanie can win by pin as well. It’s also no holds barred and no one can interfere on her behalf. Linda is here too to make sure this match is acted even worse. Sable is with Vince. Vince jumps Stephanie to start. He’s evil you know. Stephanie jumps on his back and screams a lot. She kicks him into the corner so he runs her over. Vince throws her around and Cole is up to about 20 “THAT’S HIS DAUGHTER” lines a minute.

Sable slaps Stephanie so Linda chases her around. Vince hooks a half crab and Stephanie screams a lot. Off to a bow and arrow and Stephanie can’t even sell her face properly. Sable slides in a pipe but Linda stops her. Vince grabs Linda so she slaps him and Steph hits Vince low with the pipe for two. She pulls the pipe back and hits him in the ribs and the back and in the face but Vince doesn’t go down. A shot from the middle rope to the top of the head gets two.

This match has been going on about four minutes and I already hate it. Sable gets in a fight with Stephanie so Stephanie rams Vince into her and bulldogs him for two. She gets the pipe again but Vince grabs her by the throat and shoves her down. Now Vince has the pipe and hits her in the ribs. He chokes her with the pipe and Linda shouts to quit because it’s not worth it. Linda throws in the towel because Stephanie can’t give up. You know, to protect her reputation and all that.

Rating: F. This got more of a build than the world title match, the US Title match and the Angle vs. Cena match. You figure out why this was a failure.

And one more from this year at Survivor Series 2003.

Undertaker vs. Vince McMahon

Taz actually has keys to victory. First: be mentally stable. Second: be confident. Third: AVOID THE HOLE! Did Taz just make me laugh? I don’t know how to handle this. Oh good we have the bell so I don’t have to deal with it. Remember that in this you have to put the other guy in the grave and cover him with dirt to bury him alive. Apparently it’s thirteen years to the day since Taker debuted. Vince kneels in prayer before the match starts.

Taker punches him in the face, drawing blood off a SINGLE PUNCH. He pounds away on Vince as McMahon is just trying to get back up. Vince gets crotched against the post and Taker wraps the leg around the post for fun. The same thing happens on the opposite post and Vince is sent into the announce table. There is blood EVERYWHERE. Taker hits him and says this is for my wife. Yeah this was around the time when Vince said he was going to have someone rape Taker’s wife. You know, because there’s nothing wrong with that.

The beating continues for awhile and Vince hasn’t had a single bit of offense in yet. Vince gets punched up against the barricade and we head back inside. Taker heads to the grave site and gets a shovel which is CRACKED off Vince’s head. This is quite a beating. Taker crushes Vince’s ankle just like he did in 1998. There are PILES of blood on the floor. Taker carries him to the grave but Vince gets in a low blow to FINALLY slow Taker down.

Vince hits him with a shovel and taker falls into the grave. Taker shrugs it off and pulls McMahon down into the hole, but as he goes for the machine to lower the dirt, an explosion goes off. Kane is in the cab and helps Vince out of the grave. Taker is knocked into the grave and Vince lowers the dirt onto Taker to get the shocking win.

Rating: D. This was REALLY boring although that first shovel shot was great. Other than that though, there wasn’t enough here to make this match matter. This would be the last time Biker Taker was seen as he would return as the Dead Man at Wrestlemania to, say it with me, feud with Kane. The blood alone prevents this from being a failure.

I have to do this one. From Raw on February 23, 2004.

Eric Bischoff vs. Vince McMahon

Austin is guest referee. They stare each other down to start and Bischoff offers a handshake, only to get kneed in the ribs. Bischoff comes back with some strikes but Austin breaks it up. Vince makes the mistake of going after Austin and gets decked for old times’ sake. Bischoff gets chased around the ring and choked on the floor as JR drops the bowling shoe line. Brock Lesnar sneaks into the ring and lays out Austin as the match is thrown out. No rating and much more of an historical curiosity than anything else.

We’ll jump ahead to Wrestlemania XXII.

Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels

Oh wait actually this is no holds barred rather than a street fight because they’re such different things. Before the match Vince unveils a poster version of his cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine, which is indeed pretty impressive. Shawn will have none of this though and goes after the boss, pounding away at him and throwing him over the announce table for good measure. Vince gets choked out with a cable as the commentators lose their equipment.

Shawn cracks Vince over the head with his poster and here’s the Spirit Squad to try to save Vince. They’re five cheerleaders (one of them being Dolph Ziggler) who beat up Shawn with their five man lifting slam, but Kenny misses a guillotine legdrop. Shawn gets their megaphone and beats all of them up while Vince is getting a breather. The breather allows Vince to get in a clothesline and take over for a bit.

McMahon rips off his own belt to whip and choke Shawn but his attempt at Sweet Chin Music is easily blocked. The forearm puts Vince down and there’s a whipping for Vince. There’s the top rope elbow but as Shawn tunes up the band, here’s Shane to blast him with a kendo stick. Shane pulls out handcuffs but before they tie Shawn up, Vince takes down his pants. Yeah they’re doing this at Wrestlemania. Shane tries to send Shawn’s face in but Michaels reverses and we get a very disturbing father/son bonding moment.

Shawn hits Vince low and handcuffs Shane to the ropes. After throwing the key into the crowd and doing Shane’s dance, Shawn pounds him with the kendo stick and pulls out a chair. A BIG chair shot cracks Vince’s head open even more than it already was. Instead of kicking Vince’s head off though, Shawn pulls out a ladder. After ramming that into Vince’s head too, Shawn pulls out some trashcans to beat on Vince with as well.

There’s a table thrown in too and this can’t end well. Vince is placed on the table but Shawn isn’t pleased with the ladder he’s got. Instead he gets the jumbo ladder and puts the trashcan over Vince’s head. Shawn climbs the jumbo ladder and drops the BIGGEST ELBOW EVER through Vince through the table. The Sweet Chin Music is the icing on the carnage and it’s finally over.

Rating: C+. This is a hard one to grade as it’s really closer to a long segment than a match. Shawn DESTROYED Vince here and that’s what the whole thing was supposed to be. Unfortunately this feud would keep going for about six more months with DX reuniting to fight Vince and all his cronies. Still though, it was certainly entertaining and that’s all it was supposed to be.

And the rematch at Backlash 2006.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.

Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.

Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.

Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.

And another rematch from Summerslam 2006.

D-Generation X vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince and Shane head back to the entrance and send out the Spirit Squad as the first line of defense. Superkicks, backdrops and Pedigrees abound, getting rid of the Raw Tag Champions (the cheerleaders) in less than fifteen seconds. DX beat the Spirit Squad about five times in this whole thing but never won the tag titles. I never quite got why.

Next up are Kennedy, Finlay and Regal who do a bit better thanks to Finlay’s club but only last about 40 seconds. Now it’s Big Show to really challenge DX. Why all nine guys didn’t come out at once is never really addressed. The three midcarders take down HHH on the floor, leaving Shawn alone with Show. A cobra clutch backbreaker and the Log Roll knock Shawn silly as HHH is destroyed. Now the McMahons come to the ring and there’s the opening bell.

Vince slams Shawn down to start and it’s off to Shane for some dancing. He peppers Shawn with left jabs and hits a big right cross to puts him down. HHH is still down from a chokeslam through the announce table. Vince comes back in for something like a clothesline to the ribs and fires off elbows in the corner. A double back elbow puts Shawn down and HHH is finally remembering what planet he’s on. Shane of course slides to the floor to knock him down again, which is pretty smart.

Shane hits a backbreaker on Michaels and it’s back to Papa McMahon. There’s a double elbow but HHH is on his feet. Shane, again, wisely baseball slides him onto the other announce table. The McMahons bust out the Demolition Decapitation and the Hart Attack of all things, complete with signature Bret pose. They even hit a bad looking Doomsday Device but Shawn pops up at two and fires off right hands. Vince sneaks in with a shot to the back and down goes HBK again. Shawn scores with a double clothesline and everyone is down.

HHH is back up on the apron and actually takes the hot tag. Adrenaline kicks in and house is cleaned with a high knee and a neckbreaker to Shane. Clotheslines take both McMahons down and there’s a spinebuster for the young one. Shawn drops the elbow on Vince and hits a Cactus Clothesline to take Shane out.

Here’s Umaga to superkick Shawn and hit a quick Samoan Spike to HHH. This brings out Kane as the guy DX was talking to so he can fight Umaga to the back. Shane can only get two on the Game so Vince punches the referee. Shane loads up a Coast to Coast but Shawn superkicks him out of the air. A trashcan shot to Vince sets up Sweet Chin Music and the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: B-. That’s about as high as they can get and there’s nothing wrong with that. The booking was as smart as you could get since there might not be two guys in the company that could be a legitimate threat to DX in a straight match so making it eleven on two to start was all they could do. The rest of the match is your usual tag team formula match and that’s all they could do here. The fans popped for the ending too so I can’t complain much.

Time for another feud, this time with fallout from Wrestlemania XXIII. From Backlash 2007.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon/Umaga vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley is champion and whoever gets the fall is champion. Shane starts us out and is promptly destroyed. Lashley throws him around and suplexes him down before throwing him to the floor. Bobby wants Vince but Shane staggers back in instead. Off to Umaga who is sent into the corner but Lashley charges into a boot to the face. Well foot tape to the face but you get the idea.

Bobby sends him into the corner again and hits some clotheslines including a big one to send him over the top rope and out to the floor. Down goes Shane so there’s only Vince left on the apron. Instead Shane gets back in and takes a delayed vertical suplex. Umaga tries a headbutt but it hits the Boy Wonder by mistake. Shane finally does something effective by pulling the top rope down to send Bobby out to the floor.

Umaga sends Lashley into the steps as we continue the filler until Vince comes in. Lashley is in trouble but Vince still doesn’t want the tag. Shane puts on a Fujiwara Armbar followed by a hammerlock with knees. Off to a cross armbreaker/triangle choke hybrid which Lashley can’t quite power out of. Scratch that as he hits a kind of powerbomb for two. Back to the Samoan for a headbutt followed by a bearhug.

Bobby escapes for a second but gets caught in a Samoan Drop to put him down again. Shane hooks a camel clutch for longer than should be humanly possible to survive. Lashley gets out of that too with pure power and hits a Torture Rack backbreaker (Shock Treatment ala Abyss) to Shane. Umaga gets speared and it’s a Dominator to Shane but Vince finally comes in for the save. In the confusion Shane gets a belt shot in for two from Vince. Vince is ticked off now and brings in Umaga for a top rope splash. That gets two for Vince as well so Umaga does the exact same thing again to give Vince the title.

Rating: C. This was fine I guess but it would start a huge ordeal with ECW fans saying that Vince was killing the legacy of ECW. You know, because it was SO healthy after guys like Big Show was champion and we got a single ECW Rules match a week if we were lucky and guys like Matt Striker and Elijah Burke and Mike Knox and Test were featured on the show every week. Lashley would get the title back in a month or so before the title fell into the midcard level it would stay at until it was axed.

A match that I still defend, from Wrestlemania XXVI.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon

Vince says he’s bought a lot of lumberjacks: the Hart Family (including the Hart Dynasty), with the idea being that they all hate Bret just like Vince does. Also Bruce Hart, Bret’s brother, is guest referee. Bret asks his family if they all agreed to this and says they must have all gotten paid up front. If there’s one thing he’s learned from Montreal, it’s that there’s nothing sweeter than a good double cross. Tonight, the Harts are united because they came to Bret and agreed to sucker Vince in.

Bret pounds away to start and stomps away in the corner before sending Vince out to the lumberjacks for a beating. Natalya hits a HARD slap (Striker: “Best of luck in your future endeavors.”) and the beating is on. The Hart Dynasty hits a Hart Attack to the floor as Bret looks on approvingly. Back in and Bret goes after the leg which knocks Vince back to the floor. He finds a wrench or something from somewhere which sends the Harts away.

Back in and Bret knocks it away from McMahon before picking up the pipe. Seven shots with that look to set up the Sharpshooter but instead Bret hits him with the pipe a few more times. There’s a hard kick to the balls and a few more for good measure. Natalya: “MAKE EM BLEED!” A chair is sent in and Bret takes a seat. Vince slowly gets up so Bret hits him with the chair EIGHTEEN TIMES and it’s the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: A+. I said that when I first did this and I say it here. Now while I shouldn’t have to explain this, I will anyway because a lot of people are slow. Am I saying it was a match on the level of say Shawn vs. Razor? Of course not. I’m saying it’s the perfect match for what it was supposed to be. This was Bret DESTROYING Vince for a long time and doing it as well as he could given his condition. If you thought it was going to be anything but that and Vince tapping to the Sharpshooter, you completely missed the point of this match.

We’ll wrap it up with Vince’s last match to date which shocked everyone. Raw, October 8, 2012 and it’s not really a match but it’s close enough.

Vince McMahon vs. CM Punk

Vince comes out for the match but Punk jumps him on the way to the ring and beats the tar out of him before the bell. Vince spears him down but Punk beats him in the head. The high kick puts Vince down and I don’t think the bell every rang. They head to the floor and Punk puts on a headset. “WHAT A MANUEVER!!!” I laughed out loud.

Vince sends Punk into the post after escaping the GTS. He sends Punk FLYING over the announce table and grabs a mic. Vince DIVES OVER THE TABLE and beats up Punk! He rams a chair into Punk’s crotch and we head back inside. Vince is bleeding from the eye but he grabs a kendo stick. I think Vince’s ear is bleeding also. Punk bails and tells Heyman to bring the title, but Vince stops him and lays out Heyman with a shot to the head. Vince gets the title and stands in the ring with it and the kendo stick, challenging Punk to come fight him.

Punk finds a kendo stick and gets in. They BEAT THE TAR OUT OF EACH OTHER with the sticks and Vince knocks the stick out of Punk’s hands, sending Punk to his knees to beg. Punk hits Vince low and beats on him with the sticks. He loads up the GTS but FEED ME MORE hits and the fans LOSE IT.

Punk runs but Cena comes out and sends Punk back in. Ryback kills Punk with the clothesline but Punk escapes Shell Shock. Punk bails and Vince gets the mic. He says it’s either Punk vs. Ryback or Punk vs. Cena in the Cell. If Punk doesn’t decide, Vince makes up his mind for him. Punk is TERRIFIED to end the show. This wasn’t a match but man it ROCKED.

He’s one of the best villains of all time and will still do whatever he needs to do on camera. His matches weren’t any good but it was all about the build instead of the matches anyway. To be fair, the matches weren’t the worst in the world and considering that it’s the boss out there, all can be forgiven. He’s hard not to like at least a bit despite being totally evil.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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We’re going old school today with a man I met three times over Wrestlemania weekend: Bob Backlund.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ivan Koloff

Bob is defending and Ivan has Captain Lou Albano, an old heel manager with him. Backlund has only been champion about six months at this point. The name graphic leaves the A out of Backlund’s name. Backlund backdrops him to start as the crowd goes very silent for some reason. A headscissors puts Ivan down and Backlund holds on with a leg vice around Ivan’s head. They go to the mat and Backlund bridges up in a nice power display.

Ivan puts him on the top rope but gets kicked away. Off to another standoff and it’s test of strength time. Backlund goes down but comes back with a top wristlock, only to get caught in a headscissors. This goes on for a few minutes until Bob does a reverse nipup to escape. He dropkicks Ivan down and hooks a headscissors of his own as this is getting repetitive. Then again this is the way a lot of these matches went back then so this would be considered a big deal back then.

Backlund takes him back down again but gets caught in headscissors #4 of the match so far. Backlund finally gets out of that one as well and works on the knee a bit. Somehow we’re over fifteen minutes into this despite almost nothing happening other than headscissors so far. Bob stays on the leg and hooks a hold on for a few minutes. That’s another sign of the times: holds stay on FOREVER. I mean this one has been on for nearly four minutes at this point.

It finally gets broken up and Ivan suplexes him down for two. The idea of selling an injury must not have been invented yet. Or maybe it just doesn’t translate into Russian. Ivan hooks a short arm scissors but Bob shows off his surprising strength by lifting Ivan up into the air and over his head, slamming him down onto the mat back first to break the hold.

Bob puts him on the top rope to counter and hooks something like a spinning toehold. Thankfully this one lasts less than the usual two hours with Ivan kicking him in the ribs. Ivan sends him into the ropes but they ram heads, sending Bob to the floor. Koloff is smart and breaks up the count so he can still win the title. Backlund gets rammed into the post and a backbreaker gets two.

Ivan goes up top for the biggest pop from the crowd(and possibly the only one so far) of the match but his top rope knee drop misses. Backlund sends him in but gets kicked down again, this time back to the floor again. Koloff breaks up the count again, this time by going up top and jumping down onto the apron, kicking Bob in the head on the way down. That would be considered a big spot back then.

Backlund is busted open and we have to have the doctor look at it. That doesn’t work so the fight continues. Backlund goes off as he is known to do and Ivan is in trouble. A backdrop puts the challenger down…and the match is stopped because of the cut. Trash fills the ring and I can’t quite say I blame them for that.

Rating: C-. The ending was stupid but it had more to do with the athletic commission rather than the booking or anything. That being said, it made no sense to say Backlund can’t continue when he was beating the tar out of Koloff but whatever. Also, this match was fairly boring as I was looking for things to talk about during those rest holds which went on forever. I know it’s a different era, but that doesn’t make it any less dull.

Backlund wants to keep going but Ivan walks away. The title doesn’t change hands for some reason even though Ivan wins.

Against the first Intercontinental Champion in a cage on September 24, 1979 in MSG.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Pat Patterson

This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.

Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.

Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.

Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.

Time for an assortment of Backlund defenses, most of which will be in MSG. From December 17, 1979.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bobby Duncum

This is a Texas death match but I’m not sure if we’re going by what that traditionally means or if it’s just a No DQ match. In a traditional match you pin the guy and they have ten seconds to get up. Think last man standing but you have to pin to get a count started. The President of the WWF, Hisashi Shinma, holds up the title. This is where things get confusing: the WWF didn’t acknowledge the title ever leaving Backlund so the fans have no idea what is going on.

It appears that this is just a No DQ match. LONG feeling out period to start as we just wait around for something substantial to happen. Backlund gets a headlock and holds onto that for awhile. So DEADLY. This is a regular match so far as we hit the headlock one more time for fun. Backlund is put together which is really surprising considering how basic he would be known for looking like.

He CRANKS on that thing though and it looks painful if nothing else. The problem is that it’s just a headlock. Backlund goes over the top and over the rail as this picks up some much needed steam. No count outs either here. And then a sunset flip ends this. WHAT THE HECK? That’s it??? The crowd pops like crazy but I have no idea why as this was REALLY boring.

Rating: D-. As a regular match this was pretty good but as a death match this is about as close to a failure as you can get without being one. The pop of the crowd is the only reason I popped it up a bit. The big spot was a backdrop over the top rope. I have no idea why this was supposed to be a big deal but it just didn’t work at all. If it was a regular match it would have been decent but as a death match match it was horrible.

Still in New York on May 19, 1980.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Ken Patera

Pater is defending Intercontinental Champion and this is officially a death match, which means anything goes. Patera allows his manager, the Grand Wizard, to remove his warmup gear. Backlund is immediately sent to the floor and stomped down as Patera stands tall. The champion (only Backlund will be referred to as champion for the sake of simplicity) comes right back and sends Patera out to the floor before pounding him on the way back in. Backlund punches him in the head and chokes away with the ropes a bit.

Ken comes back with a front facelock which he transitions into a chinlock to keep control. Backlund fight up but has his shoulder sent into the post to stop the comeback dead in its tracks. Paters tries to send the shoulder in again but gets sent face first into the buckle instead. A backdrop puts Bob on the floor and the champion is in trouble. Back in and Patera drops a top rope double ax handle for two.

Off to a bearhug by Ken who is a very strong man in his own right. Backlund finally escapes with a right hand and the atomic drop to send Patera into the ropes. A jumping piledriver gets a close two count on Patera and a suplex gets the same. Backlund is whipped into the Tree of Woe (hanging upside down in the corner) where Patera chokes away. The champion is dropped throat first on the top rope for two but he comes back with a fast rollup for two.

A suplex by Patera gets a delayed one count and both guys are exhausted. Backlund avoids a charge in the corner and hooks an abdominal stretch. The hold stays on for awhile but Patera makes the rope. It doesn’t matter in this kind of a match though so Ken hip tosses Backlund up and over to the floor. Once outside Patera hits Backlund in the head with the title belt to knock the champion silly. The champion is busted open and after he gets back in, Patera pounds him right back to the floor.

Back in once again and Backlund gets in a kick to the chest to put both guys down. The champion is back up first and is all fired up. He throws Ken out to the floor and sends him into the steel barricade and then into the post. Now Patera is busted open and Backlund pounds away at the cut. The challenger comes back with a low blow to get himself a breather and now it’s Backlund in trouble. Patera goes up top but gets slammed back down to the mat. A middle rope punch by Backlund gets two but Patera sends him back to the floor.

Backlund gets hit in the face with a chair and we head back inside, only for Patera to miss a chair shot in the corner. Now Backlund gets the chair and smashes it over Ken’s head twice in a row, but THAT only gets two. Bob goes up to the top rope again and a high cross body is FINALLY enough to keep Patera down and retain the title.

Rating: A. Yeah it was just the other opponents. This was a GREAT match with two guys beating the tar out of each other for over twenty minutes. The weapons used made the No DQ rule mean something which is what the previous death match was lacking. Backlund was pushed to the limit here and when he snapped, Patera was trying to survive rather than win, which made for a good story. The match won Match of the Year in the prestigious Wrestling Observer Newsletter and it’s not hard to see why.

Post match Patera calls Backlund a cheater and gets dropkicked to the floor as a result.

Here’s a fairly well known match from MSG on October 19, 1981.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Greg Valentine

The Grand Wizard has yet another new client in Greg Valentine. Backlund has Arnold Skaaland with him, who has managed both Sammartino as well as the current champion. This is a regular one on one match rather than the death matches we’ve been looking at. It’s a feeling out process to start with Valentine hooking a quick armdrag for not much effect. A slam puts Backlund down again and Bob isn’t sure what to do. Backlund comes back with an armdrag and hip toss of his own to stagger Valentine and Greg wants a breather.

Greg comes back with some right hands to the ribs in the corner but it results in a standoff instead of an advantage. A quick shoulder to the ribs of Valentine staggers him a bit so they try a test of strength. Valentine fires off some shots to the ribs to take over before going to work on the champion’s knee. There’s a half crab from Valentine and Backlund is in some trouble. Backlund fights up and escapes the hold via a monkey flip but Greg gets in a shot to the back of the head to take over again.

The challenger goes back to the leg by cranking on the ankle before shifting over to the ribs via an abdominal stretch. Bob reverses into one of his own but Valentine goes back to the knee to take control once again. Valentine cranks on a leg lock before dropping some elbows on the bad leg. A spinning toe hold works on the leg even more but Bob kicks him away. They trade forearms to the face but both guys collapse down to the mat.

Backlund is up first but a slam attempt fails, giving Valentine a two count. Greg hits him in the knee again but still can’t put on the Figure Four Leg Lock. Instead Valentine kicks him to the floor before pounding away at Backlund on the ring apron. Back in again and Bob is getting fired up as the blows from Greg are having less effect each time. The champion starts hammering away on Valentine’s leg now, wrapping it up in the ropes and kicking at the inner thigh.

Bob knocks him down again but can only get two. A suplex gets the same for Valentine but Backlund comes back with one of his own for a delayed two count. A cross body gets two for the champion but Valentine chokes him down with the ring rope. Greg goes for the leg again and hooks the Figure Four but it’s not on that well. Backlund is easily able to roll into the ropes to break the hold but some damage has been done. Bob comes back with a piledriver out of nowhere and Valentine is in trouble.

Greg gets into the ropes to avoid being covered before going back to the knee. Backlund fights out of another Figure Four attempt but can’t avoid the shots to the knee in the corner. A middle rope elbow drop misses Backlund though and the champion has an opening. They trade headbutts from their knees before Backlund hooks a belly to back suplex to put both guys down again. Valentine gets back up and puts Backlund in an airplane spin during which the referee is accidentally kicked in the head by the champion. Greg is dizzy from spinning Backlund around though and Bob falls on top of him for the pin to retain the title.

Rating: B. This was another good match as Backlund is starting to find his rhythm as champion a mere four years into his title reign. The idea here of Valentine trying to get the Figure Four time after time but never being able to hook it properly was a good story throughout the match but the fact that it didn’t play into the finish hurt things a bit. The finish however is the most important part of the match for reasons yet to be explained.

Time for a little change of scenery. From Philadelphia on February 22, 1982.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.

This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.

Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.

Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.

Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.

Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.

Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.

Back to MSG one more time on October 17, 1983.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition so there’s a chance I’ll call him Ax from time to time. They go to the mat quickly and Backlund is more than fine with that. Backlund takes him back down again with a headlock. Superstar runs him over and tries another headlock on the mat but Bob breaks that up with ease. We hear about Eddie Gilbert being injured by Superstar, which is a show I’ve actually seen.

The champion controls with a headscissors on the mat to frustrate the big guy. Now it’s an armbar as Backlund is picking him apart with whatever body part he cares to work on at the moment. For some reason Superstar keeps trying amateur stuff on Backlund and it fails more and more each time.

Backlund runs over the bigger guy and we get a botched sequence as Superstar tries what looked like a cross body but Backlund didn’t drop at first. It looked like Superstar was trying a jumping tornado DDT but since the regular version didn’t exist yet, he fell on Backlund after spinning around a bit. Really bad looking move but it’s more on Backlund than Superstar, which is rare to see from him.

They slug it out a bit and Backlund goes right back to the arm to keep control. This time it’s a hammerlock so at least he’s mixing things up somewhat. We’re almost ten minutes into this and about six of those have been arm work. Superstar knocks him to the floor to get his first I guess you would say advantage of the match. Backlund finally gets back in and a high knee to the shoulder (supposed to be the face) gets two.

Time for a chinlock as Superstar isn’t much for offense I guess. Backlund fights out of it with punches as this becomes a slugout. Flying headbutt gets two for Superstar. Another attempt at it hits the mat though and Backlund is getting all fired up. He pounds on the arm and tries the chickenwing but Superstar makes the rope very quickly. A clothesline sets up Superstar’s neckbreaker finisher but he won’t cover. Instead he takes Backlund outside and hits the neckbreaker out there which gives him the countout win.

Rating: C. This was basically a Backlund squash for the first ten minutes and then a pretty uninteresting match for the remaining five minutes. Superstar didn’t really do anything until the end with the neckbreaker, which goes to show you how devastating any move can be if it’s sold right. Why he wouldn’t go for the cover is beyond me but whatever.

Backlund would disappear from mainstream wrestling for about for about ten years, only appearing in the indies. He would return to the WWF in late 1992 for one last run. From December 21, 1992 on Prime Time.

Bob Backlund vs. Skinner

Feeling out process to start as Gorilla starts talking about the Bushwhackers. Backlund easily counters a headlock into a drop toehold to send Skinner outside. Back in and Skinner wins a test of strength before trying a rollup, only to have Backlund reverse into one of his own for the pin.

Rating: D. This was actually kind of horrible with almost no chemistry and both guys looking on completely different pages. Skinner was nothing special around this point and had long since past his peak. To be fair this was one of Backlund’s first matches in a good while so you have to cut him some slack.

Backlund would get back into the swing of things at the Royal Rumble. I don’t usually do this but he was in this one for awhile. From the 1993 Royal Rumble.

Royal Rumble

Ric Flair is #1 and Bob Backlund, going through a career resurgence at the time, is #2. Backlund drops Flair with a shoulder and does his little dance. Flair pounds him into the corner but Bob backdrops him down. Papa Shango is #3 and is dumped out by Flair in less than thirty seconds. Backlund it sent to the apron and Flair stomps away. They chop it out until Ted DiBiase, I believe half of the tag champions here, is #4.

Heenan makes fun of Backlund as the double teaming ensues, prompting Gorilla to threaten to knock Bobby out. Backlund is beaten on even more until Brian Knobs is #5. The Nasties are good guys at this point and happen to be feuding with Money Inc. Guess who he starts swinging at. Knobs almost dumps Flair but only gets him to the apron. Things slow down for a bit until Virgil is #6. The faces team up to fight the heels as not a lot is going on at this point.

DiBiase tosses out Knobs and we’re down to four in the ring again. Here’s the pretty new Jerry Lawler at #7 in a HUGE cape. I think he’s a heel here but Flair grabs him for some chops almost immediately. Flair goes to the floor through the middle ropes so Virgil goes after Lawler. Flair gets back in and Jerry immediately goes after him. Oh never mind as Heenan is praising Lawler. He’s a heel alright.

Max Moon (presumably played by Konnan) is #8. He hits a few moves and is dumped by Lawler before anyone else shows up. Lawler’s attire is really intricate here with lots of writing on it instead of the usual two color design. I kind of like it for a change. Japanese legend Genichiro Tenryu is #9 and he starts a chop-off with Flair as you would expect them to do.

Things slow down a bit until Mr. Perfect is #9 at a full sprint. Heenan: “OH NO! OH DEAR GOD NO!!!” Perfect immediately goes after Flair so Ric goes to the top. There’s the slam off the top and the Hennig Neck Snap as Heenan is having a heart attack. We hear about the loser leaves the WWF match tomorrow on Raw between the two of them, which is a very rare match for some reason.

Skinner is #11 and he does nothing before Perfect shoves Flair out to a HUGE pop. Lawler (looking very different here for some reason that I can’t place) pounds away on Hennig as we’re back down to six people in there. That’s usually the right amount so thankfully they’ve gotten through the first third without things getting too hectic. Koko B. Ware and those big green pants of his are #12. Heenan: “Koko B. Ware could go to Wrestlemania to face Bret Hart. Gorilla: “What’s wrong with that?” Heenan: “IT SHOULD BE RIC FLAIR!!!”

Perfect dropkicks Skinner out and not a lot is going on again. Here’s Samu at #13, giving us a group of Backlund, DiBiase, Tenryu, Virgil, Perfect, DiBiase, Lawler and Ware. Lawler and Perfect keep going at it in a feud that could have been AMAZING in Memphis. Berzerker is #14 as we need to get rid of some people in there. Lawler misses a charging punch on Perfect and there he goes. With Perfect distracted, DiBiase and Ware team up (you’ll NEVER hear that again) to kick him out with an assist from Lawler. Virgil was thrown out during that melee, getting us down to just six again.

The Undertaker is #15 to a BIG pop. Gorilla calls him the odds on favorite. I’m not sure I’d go that far but whatever. Berzerker goes to the floor and beats up Backlund (not eliminated) with a chair. Taker puts Samu out and no sells a lot of Tenryu’s stuff before dumping him as well. We’ve got Backlund (mostly dead on the floor), Taker, Berzerker, DiBiase and Ware in at the moment. Terry Taylor (he still had a job at this point?) is in at #16 and he’s gone in less than thirty seconds thanks to DiBiase, as is Ware.

There’s a chokeslam to DiBiase and Taker dumps him, leaving Berzerker against Taker. In one of the biggest “oh great it’s this guy” moments ever, Giant Gonzales debuts as Taker dumps Berzerker. Gonzales, a legit 7’7 tall, stares down at Taker as Damien Demento (don’t ask) is #17. Gonzales chops Taker out for an illegal elimination. In case you’re not familiar, Gonzales is a monster who makes Great Khali look like Lou Thesz. Speaking of Khali, he was literally the same character as Gonzales in a repeat of the same exact story the Undertaker was involved in in 1992. In short, both of them sucked and were really tall.

Gonzales destroys Taker for a bit as Demento still won’t get in. IRS is #18 as the Giant is still beating up Taker. It’s IRS, Backlund and Demento at the moment with Taker out cold in the corner. Tatanka is #19 as Paul Bearer uses the Urn to revive Taker. This of course is all the fans focus on, making the match in the ring look even less interesting than it already is, which is saying a lot when you think about it. Lots of choking ensues until Jerry Sags is #20.

There is NOTHING going on here and I don’t think Typhoon at #21 is going to help things at all. Fatu is #22 and my goodness I have never heard more silence for an entrance. NOTHING is going on here and Earthquake is #23. He immediately goes after….Typhoon, his partner. They have a fat man brawl for a bit until Quake dumps him out. Carlos Colon, aged 44 and called a youngster by Monsoon is #24.

Colon dumps Demento as the eliminations are keeping the crowd on life support. Quake can’t put Backlund out as Tito Santana is #25. Fatu misses a charge at Backlund and eliminates himself. We’ve got Quake, Backlund, Santana, IRS, Tatanka, Colon and Sags in there at the moment. Rick Martel is #26 who is STILL feuding with Santana. Why did they never have a big match to blow off that feud? It went on for like four years or so.

Earthquake dumps IRS and now we get to the first interesting part of the match in WAY too long: Backlund is sent to the apron and the crowd collectively gasps until he gets back in. Gorilla actually swears at how big the reaction is. Yokozuna is #27 and it’s time to clear some space. Yoko and Tatanka chop it out and there goes the guy with red hair (figure out which is which).

Colon is out and it’s time for the fat man showdown with Quake vs. Yoko. They collide a few times and no one moves so Quake pounds him into the corner. Owen Hart is #28. Quake splashes Yoko in the corner but the second attempt misses. Yoko suplexes Quake out and that more or less seals the winner. Repo Man is #29 and is immediately dropped by Yoko. Everybody gangs up on Yoko and it doesn’t work at all.

Randy Savage is #30, giving us a final group of Savage, Yokozuna, Repo Man, Owen, Martel, Santana, Sags and Backlund. They’re not even trying to hide the winner at this point. Yoko dumps Tito as Owen dropkicks Sags out. Owen skins the cat to save himself before being dumped by Yoko and possibly injuring his knee. Repo is out and we’re down to four. Backlund actually picks up Martel to sit him on top and punches him out. The place is WAY into Backlund here, so he goes after Yoko. A pair of dropkick put Yoko against the ropes but Backlund charges into the elimination, drawing a standing ovation.

So it’s Savage vs. Yoko and the beating of the small man begins. Yoko flattens him over and over again until Savage fires off a bunch of kicks out of the corner. The fans are trying to get behind Savage and there’s a top rope ax handle. One to the back gets Yoko down to one knee. Uh…why would you want to knock a guy this big DOWN in a battle royal?

Either way he superkicks Savage to knock him down again and there’s the belly to belly. The legdrop crushes Savage but the Banzai Drop misses. In one of the STUPIDEST endings ever to the Rumble, Savage hits the elbow and COVERS, getting launched over the top rope on the kickout to send Yoko to Las Vegas for the title shot.

Rating: D. This was one of the worst Rumbles of all time. The main problem here is the period after Taker, the only guy you could actually see eliminating Yoko, was eliminated. From then until the time Backlund got close to the longevity record (which he got), there’s NOTHING. It’s a bunch of lame midcarders standing around lifting each others’ legs in the air. Why would I want to see that at all? Anyway, nothing to see here and a BAD Rumble.

Backlund’s roll would continue on Raw, March 15, 1994.

Bob Backlund vs. Papa Shango

Backlund trips him up a few times as I have to listen to the horrible Rob Bartlett on commentary. He was a comedian who was given this spot for no explained reason. Shango takes over with a test of strength but Bob grabs the arm and drives an elbow into the nose. Papa comes back with a backbreaker as Rob goes into a horrible Vince impression. Papa chokes with a boot in the corner, making Backlund look shocked that someone would cheat. We hit the chinlock for a LONG stretch as Gorilla wants to beat up Heenan and Bartlett. A slam gets two on Backlund but he grabs a small package for a surprise pin.

Rating: D. That chinlock just would not end. Shango is the kind of guy that was a nice contrast to Backlund but it didn’t work here. Interesting bit of trivia: Shango was rumored to be brought back and be revealed as the reason Backlund went nuts in 1994. Thankfully this didn’t happen and was never mentioned at all but it would have been different.

Eventually Backlund would go insane and insist on being called Mr. Bob Backlund. This new insane character would get a WWF Title shot at Survivor Series 1994 against Bret Hart. The idea is someone has to throw in the towel to end the match.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bret Hart

Bret is defending and this is a submission match. This is a special kind of submission match though as both guys have seconds and you have to throw in the towel to end the match. Bret has British Bulldog and Backlund has Owen Hart. Backlund was making a comeback in his 40s and was a plucky face before going completely insane and claiming that he was still champion from when his reign ended in 1983 because his manager threw in the towel and he never gave up. Bret and Owen’s parents are in the crowd. Remember that.

Backlund charges at Bret but gets hipblocked down a few times. Bret headbutts him to the floor and elbowed upon return. Hart hits something like an elevated bulldog (think Orton’s hanging DDT) to take over on the mat. Off to a chinlock which evolves into a headlock. Gorilla talks about how Bulldog beat Bret for the IC Title in 92 to try to draw in some tension. Backlund tries to take him to the mat but Bret puts the headlock back on. Bob tries to get the chickenwing on but Bret suplexes him down.

Sharpshooter doesn’t work so Bret goes with a front facelock instead. Off to an abdominal stretch by the Hitman but Bob escapes and goes after the left arm. The chickenwing is escaped again (Backlund’s finisher is a Cross Face Chicken Wing) so Bob bends the arm around the ropes. Off to an armbar on the mat but Bret nips up. Backlund drills Bret to the floor but Hart gets the advantage out there.

Back in and Backlund puts the arm on as the fans all chant LET’S GO BRET. The armbar stays on for a good while (as in like five minutes) before Bret escapes with an atomic drop. He can’t get the Sharpshooter but he settles for the Figure Four. This hold stays on for awhile also and Bob gives up but Owen has to throw in the towel. Backlund tells Owen to throw it in but Owen won’t do it.

Backlund finally turns it over and Owen tells Bulldog to throw it in. Bret reverses it back but Backlund gets to a rope. Bret stays on the leg but can’t get the Sharpshooter. Backlund grabs a piledriver out of nowhere and momentum shifts again. Bob goes for the Chicken Wing but Bret gets to the ropes. We’re about twenty minutes into this and it feels like about half of that. The fans are WAY behind Bret here still too which is a good sign.

Back to the arm but Backlund misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bret blocks another piledriver attempt but hooks a sleeper, which is broken pretty fast because it’s not really a submission move. They hit head to head and both guys go down. For a guy who was about 45 at this point, Backlund has looked great. Now Bret piledrives Bob and hits a bulldog to take over.

The Five Moves Of Doom culminate with the Sharpshooter but Owen runs in to deck his brother and break up the hold. Now we get to the turning point of the match as Davey charges at Owen but misses and rams his own head into the steps. He’s out cold and there’s no one to throw in Bret’s towel. Owen panics and the distraction lets Backlund put on the full Chicken Wing even though Bret had his hand on the rope at the beginning of the hold and a rope break was used earlier in the match but I digress.

Backlund has the hold on in the middle of the ring as Owen begins to get concerned about Bret. He says he’s sorry and Backlund takes Bret down to the mat with the hold. Smith still hasn’t moved and Bret is trying to fight up. Bret gets to his feet but can’t get the rope as Backlund pulls him down and puts on the bodyscissors along with the hold. Owen starts crying which Vince declares the TRUE Owen.

Vince says you can lose if you say you quit, which goes against what we saw earlier with Backlund but it’s the WWF so you can’t count on continuity. We go split screen to look at Bret’s parents as Bret has been in this hold for over four minutes. Owen goes over to plead to his mom (not Stu because Stu is smarter than this) as Bret is in agony. Bret taps but that doesn’t mean anything yet. The hold has now been on for six straight minutes and the fans are still behind Bret. The maniacal look on Bob’s face is great.

Owen begs his mom for help again and opens the barricade to bring his parents to ringside. Stu still doesn’t seem to buy anything Owen is saying. Owen picks up Bret’s towel and says for Helen to throw it in but Stu says no way. Owen gets the fans to cheer for Helen to throw in the towel and after nine and a half minutes in the hold, Helen takes the towel from Stu and throws it in, giving Backlund the title and STUNNING the fans. Owen throws his arms in the air and celebrates, sprinting to the back in triumph, because it was a SWERVE.

Rating: A. This match definitely isn’t for everyone, but if you’re a fan of old school matches and psychology, you’re going to love this match. The whole thing is a massive story with the execution being done perfectly (or with excellence if you like plays on catchphrases). Bret and Backlund are both master technicians so the in ring stuff is as close to flawless as you’re going to get. The stuff with Owen is great too and the whole match is almost perfect. It runs about thirty five minutes though and if you’re not a fan of mat stuff and building to a big finish, you’re going to hate this.

One other thing: I’d like to point out that Davey Boy Smith has been out cold for almost eleven minutes now, hasn’t moved an inch, and is likely clinically dead yet hasn’t received any attention at all. Owen stepped over him about four times in the whole sequence.

The rematch, also a submission match, from Wrestlemania XI.

Bret Hart vs. Bob Backlund

This is an I Quit match with Roddy Piper as guest referee. They had a previous I Quit match at Survivor Series which wound up being pretty awesome as an old school style match that ran about thirty five minutes. Thanks to Owen cheating, Backlund won the title and shocked the world, so tonight is about revenge for Hart. Piper is here for no apparent reason whatsoever.

Bret pounds away to start and sends Backlund hard into the corner. An early Sharpshooter attempt is blocked so Bret drops an elbow. Bret keeps pounding on him and Piper asks if Backlund quits way too often. Another Sharpshooter attempt doesn’t work so here’s a Figure Four by Bret instead. Backlund turns it over but Bret lets go before it goes badly for him.

Off to a leg lock by Hart as the match slows down a bit. We hear about Bret hating Japanese people which was an angle that didn’t go anywhere. Backlund grabs at Bret’s face to escape before finally just kicking Hart in the face. Bob starts going after the arm but Bret avoids the chickenwing. Instead it’s a Fujiwara Armbar and the fans are getting restless. Bob pounds on the arm even more with an armbar as Piper asks Bret if he gives up for about the dozenth time.

Bret finally fights back and hits the backbreaker and middle rope elbow. The Sharpshooter doesn’t work but Bret misses a charge into the corner, going shoulder first into the post. Bob hooks the chickenwing but Bret reverses into one of his own. Backlund yells incoherently which apparently counts as a submission, giving Bret the win.

Rating: D+. I love the original version of this but the rematch didn’t work at all. For one thing, a match about making someone quit with guys of this caliber should probably be longer than ten minutes. On top of that, it was really dull stuff. This didn’t work at all and even Bret has said it’s one of his least favorite matches ever.

After retiring and actually running for Congress, Backlund would be referenced over and over again in Kevin Nash’s Paparazzi Championship Series in TNA, which is still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. I have no idea what it was supposed to do or mean but it cracked me up. Anyway, Backlund actually appeared and wrestled some matches, including this one at Slammiversary 2007.

Bob Backlund vs. Alex Shelley

Backlund is one of those cases where I have no idea what they were thinking when they brought him in. We hear the stories of Backlund not signing autographs unless you can recite all of the presidents in order. Backlund takes him down with ease and the fans are mostly on Shelley’s side. They slug it out a bit and Backlund takes him into a short armed scissors. Backlund uses the British Bulldog/Shawn Michaels counter (which should be called the Backlund counter but whatever).

Backlund hits a gorgeous butterfly suplex and then an atomic drop which used to be Backlund’s finisher. Sabin runs in to trip him up but gets crotched on the top. Shelley gets dropped into Sabin’s balls and a bridging O’Connor Roll beats Shelley clean. Yes, Bob Backlund just destroyed the Motor City Machineguns by himself in less than four minutes.

Rating: C-. The match was fine but this is a great example of “what were they thinking”. I mean don’t get me wrong, Backlund is a legend, but this is the year 2007. Who are they really appealing to with him? This one isn’t about me being mad about him being there, but more of genuine confusion. I don’t get this one at all.

And one more from Victory Road 2007.

Motor City Machine Guns vs. Jerry Lynn/Bob Backlund

The Guns have Nash with them. This is another of those bizarre angles that only happens in a company like TNA. For a 57 year old guy, Backlund is in great shape. Apparently Backlund was a problem for TNA as he disappeared from his hotel on the morning of the PPV. The reason: he walked the five miles from the hotel to the Impact Zone and left earlier than everyone else.

He’s an odd one, but if I can look like that at his age I’ll be happy. It’s weird seeing Sabin just getting out wrestled by Backlund. Both guys tag and we get dueling geriatric/LET’S GO JERRY chants. Shelley does all these flips and twists and Lynn just stands there and watches him until he stops so he can throw a hold on him. That was hilarious. I love when people do that.

One of my favorite moments ever was just after Joe debuted he was fighting Puma and Puma went up top for this big flip and Joe just took a step to the side and let him crash. Why over complicate things? This has been more or less ALL old guys so far. Shelley spits water in his face to take over. West declares that you can’t prance. Good to know.

Heat grabbing 101 (missed tag) allows more beatings on Lynn. Backlund storms the ring and just beats the tar out of everyone in sight. And then Nash comes in to kick Backlund in the head to set up the AS/CS Rush for the pin on Jerry. Now remember boys and girls, as good as they are, they’re not allowed to win the tag titles.

Rating: C-. Entertaining, but again I ask, so what? This put the focus on Nash more than anything else. I just do not get the point in doing this ending other than to protect the old guys and let the new guys say they won. It’s either really basic or really stupid and I’m leaning towards the second given the track record here.

Bob Backlund is one of the most interesting wrestlers in history. The guy could get on a mat with anyone but he’s also borderline insane. The problem was he didn’t have the right kind of charisma to work in the new generation, but he was perfect for the transitional period between Sammartino and Hogan. His Mr. Backlund period was a completely different side to him and while winning the title was too far, he would have been great as an Intercontinental Champion around that time. He’s very entertaining though and as skilled on the mat as almost anyone you’ll ever find.

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Today is maybe my favorite ECW wrestler: Tajiri.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. El Gran Apache

They shake hands to start and we’re ready to go. Apache takes him down to the mat and does a headstand to escape a wristlock. They stay on the mat with Apache holding him in a leg lock. Armdrags don’t get Tajiri anywhere as he keeps getting thrown down. Instead a kick puts Apache down but he chops the skin off Tajiri’s chest. Tajiri goes to the corner for a wrist drag, only to get hiptossed back down.

Apache is just outclassing Tajiri right now. Both guys nip up and it’s Tajiri cranking on a headlock. Gran reverses into a headscissors before they speed things up again with Apache nailing a high cross body. Tajiri is sent outside and gets taken down by a big plancha. Back in and Tajiri escapes another armbar and nails a dropkick for two.

Apache easily fights out of a chinlock and hits a backsplash before punching Tajiri down in the corner. A suplex gets two for Gran but Tajiri comes back with some running dropkicks in the corner. Apache avoids a moonsault and grabs a bad looking reverse sunset flip (as in he starts like you usually would but falls back instead of going forward) for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was better than I was expecting and it worked really well. The problem here is Tajiri hasn’t figured out a character yet so he was just a guy in trunks doing what he could. Apache is a veteran who had forgotten more than Tajiri had ever learned at this point so it wasn’t much of a contest. Tajiri was trying though.

Tajiri would get a one off appearance in the WWF on Raw, April 22, 1996.

Godwinns vs. Tajiri/Ken Patterson

Tajiri, who looks to be about a foot and a half shorter, starts with Phineas. A cross body doesn’t work but Phineas misses an elbow drop. Henry and Patterson come in and here comes Sunny with the Tag Team Titles. Hillbilly Jim runs her off with his hound dog as Henry slams Patterson. Back to Phineas for some headbutts before Henry ends Ken with a Slop Drop.

Rating: D. This was a preview for Sunday’s title match when the Godwinns would challenge the Body Donnas. The match was nothing more than a squash with an angle involved, which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. However it’s what Raw consisted of back in the day so you had to get used to it.

Back to Japan for the January 4, 1997 NJPW Dome Show.

Shinjiro Otani vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Tajiri pulls his hand back on a handshake before kicking Otani in the face to start. More kicks in the corner have Otani in trouble and Tajiri stays on the arm. A German suplex gets two on Otani and Shinjiro is reeling. He comes back out of nowhere with a dropkick to the knee and Otani has a target. We hit a leg lock for a good bit until Tajiri crawls over to the ropes. Otani takes him into the corner for a facewash, followed by a spinning kick to the face.

They slap it out and both guys go down in a sudden fall. Otani is up first but misses a missile dropkick and gets caught in a German suplex for two. Tajiri throws him outside and nails an Asai moonsault to put both guys down. They head back inside and Otani counters a kick into a quickly broken ankle lock.

Tajiri rolls him around in a sunset flip for two and hooks a top rope hurricanrana for the same. A second hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb, followed by a sitout powerbomb from Otani. He lets Tajiri up though and hits a springboard spinwheel kick (the same kind of kick that Tajiri hit him with at the beginning) for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was good stuff with both guys nailing each other. The fact that I have no idea what was going on here but I could figure out what kind of story they were telling is a very impressive thing. Tajiri disrespected the bigger star in Otani and the veteran wasn’t going to stand for it. Good stuff.

It’s off to ECW at this point with Tajiri starting around Guilty As Charged 1999.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Both guys are new to the company. These two fought roughly 90,000 times and this is one of the first. Super Crazy is a high flying luchador and Tajiri is a hard striking wrestler from Japan. He’s clean shaven here but would eventually grow a beard and become one of ECW’s better workers. This is the kind of a match that ECW needed to fill out their pay per view cards and have exciting, non-hardcore matches. Feeling out process to start and Crazy won’t throw a closed fist. We get a very fast paced sequence with both guys taking the other to the mat for arm trap cradles for two each.

A tornado DDT drops Tajiri but he comes back with some very hard kicks to the head to take over. Back up and they trade chops to the chest before Tajiri kicks the knee out. Off to a leg bar on Crazy but he gets to the ropes and bails to the floor. That’s fine with Tajiri who nails a HUGE Asai moonsault. They fight to the apron and Tajiri hooks the Tarantula (a Boston crab over the ropes) but as always it doesn’t last long.

Crazy comes back with a springboard missile dropkick to send Tajiri to the floor followed by a HUGE flip dive to keep Crazy in control. A moonsault off the barricade crushes Tajiri before sending him back inside for a surfboard. Crazy keeps the hold on and bends Tajiri back into a dragon sleeper with the legs still bent back for a PAINFUL looking hold. Back up and Tajiri dropkicks the knee out and hits a huge dive to the floor (with Crazy nice enough to stand there with his arms open so Tajiri could hit him).

Tajiri slowly gets up first and kicks Crazy in the head. Back inside and a spinwheel kick to the face gets two for Tajiri but he comes back with a majistral cradle for two but Tajiri comes back with one of his own for the same. Crazy flips out of a German suplex attempt and hits a moonsault press for two. Tajiri heads outside again and another dive takes him down. Back in and a missile dropkick puts Tajiri down but he rolls through a tornado DDT.

Tajiri gets caught in a reverse tornado DDT but is able to counter a powerbomb into a DDT of his own. Tajiri blocks a moonsault by raising his boots before nailing a sunset bomb for two. Back up and Crazy hits a sitout powerbomb for another two so Tajiri does the same to him. As Crazy is kicking out though, Tajiri keeps his legs around Crazy’s arms and rolls him around the ring. They slug it out until Tajiri hooks a dragon suplex (full nelson suplex) for the pin.

Rating: B+. Yes it was a spot fest, but here’s the difference between this and the other spot fests that I’ve complained about so far: this was all them. There wasn’t a table and chair being brought in every five minutes and there weren’t a bunch of spots that had almost no effect at all. It was two guys doing whatever they could think of with just their bodies and the ring (plus the occasional barricade) to beat each other. Also it was only about twelve minutes instead of double that, meaning it didn’t overstay its welcome. This was very entertaining stuff and the best match ECW has had in awhile.

Another match from Hardcore Heaven 1999.

Little Guido vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Guido comes to the ring sitting on Big Sal’s shoulders. Tajiri spits at Big Sal in some rare emotion before the bell. He’s back to hailing from Yokohoma, Japan. The now serious Guido catches an incoming kick and takes Tajiri to the mat for some ground and pound. He works on the leg but gets flipped over, allowing Tajiri to fire off kicks to the head. Guido comes back with some stomping in the corner and puts on a Fujiwara armbar.

A missile dropkick sends Tajiri out to the floor but he sidesteps a dive over the ropes. Tajiri dives onto the Italians and takes Guido down but Sal only loses his sunglasses. Back in and Guido loses half of his trunks when Tajiri grabs a sunset flip. The Tarantula has Guido in agony but Sal makes a save. Guido tries a headscissors but gets sent to the ramp. He comes back with a slingshot legdrop to drive Tajiri’s head onto the ramp, good for two back inside.

Back in and Tajiri gets caught in another Fujiwara armbar but lets it go and distracts the referee so Big Sal can powerslam Tajiri. We hit a keylock (arm hold) on Tajiri but he breaks it up with a low blow. Guido wins a chop off and gets two off a legdrop. A powerbomb gets the same but Tajiri counters the Boston crab. Dropkicks to the knees put Guido down but Tajiri can’t hook the dragon suplex. Instead he bends Guido over his back and spins him around before slapping the taste out of Guido’s mouth. Tajiri puts him in the Tree of Woe for a baseball slide before a kick to the head and brainbuster put Guido away.

Rating: C+. Tajiri got to show some personality this time and he was more interesting as a result. This was a solid match and again, it was different from the stuff that Tajiri and Crazy had been doing. It’s a good sign for the future as these guys are getting more and more developed every time they’re out there. Solid match.

Tajiri would turn heel around this time and get a World Title shot at Heat Wave 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Tajiri

Taz kicks Tajiri in the head as security comes to help Francine to the back. Tajiri comes back with the handspring elbow and a spinwheel kick sends Taz outside. A huge Asai moonsault over the top rope takes Taz down again. Back in and Taz counters the Tarantula with a whip spinebuster. Tajiri tries a sleeper but gets taken down in a belly to back Tazplex. There’s a head and arms Tazplex for good measure, drawing a shot at Perry Saturn at the same time.

Tajiri comes back with a hard kick to Taz’s weak neck but takes too much time going up, allowing Taz to super Tazplex him down. The hard kicks to the head stagger Taz and a low dropkick to the head gets a near fall. Some hard chops in the corner have Taz in more trouble but he shoves Tajiri off the top and onto Rhino on the ramp. Victory gets shoved down the ramp but pops to his feet, so Taz throws the wheelchair at his face.

Tajiri nails a superkick but runs into a sitout powerbomb on the ramp. Rhino has set up a table on the ramp against the ropes as Taz dares Tajiri to kick him. It’s a trap though as Taz catches a kick coming in and Tazplexes him through the table. Taz chases Corino to the back but Taz comes back with what looks like barbed wire. Joey says go to a wide shot so we can’t really see what Taz is doing. He strangles Tajiri with whatever he brought out and puts on the Tazmission until referees come out and ring the bell. Tajiri apparently tapped out on the ramp which is just as good as in the ring I suppose.

Rating: D+. This was another mess but it worked better than most of Taz’s recent matches. The idea of him having to fight off a whole team of guys worked well enough and even though Tajiri wasn’t going to get the title, he was a solid choice for a one off challenger. The money would seem to be in Corino but we’re likely to get more of that later. Rhino didn’t get physical at all here.

Tajiri would get another shot on the second episode of ECW on TNN on September 3, 1999.

ECW World Title: Taz vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Taz is world champion but would be gone very soon. He would be in the WWF in January. Tajiri has Corino and Victory with him in his corner. You can barely understand the announcer. I think this is non-title. Taz pounds on him to start but walks into the handspring elbow.

Tajiri kicks him in the head and this is for the title. Ok then. Tajiri tries the Tarantula but gets countered into what we would call the Alabama Slam. Head and arms Tazplex and Taz spits in Tajiri’s face. They slug it out and Taz hooks a capture Tazplex to kill Tajiri. Taz hits the crossface shots but gets kicked in the head for two. Tajiri tries a big kick but Taz ducks and the Tazmission ends this quick.

Rating: C-. Nothing great here but the crowd LOVED Taz. That being said, he would lose the title at the PPV to Mike Awesome and would say goodbye to ECW. That’s not good because the Dudleys would be leaving really soon also. Tajiri is a guy I’ve been liking more and more lately as those kicks were SWEET.

Here’s a match that was done about a million times in ECW so I have to bring it up. From Anarchy Rulz 1999.

Little Guido vs. Super Crazy vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

This would become a staple of ECW shows for a long time. Tajiri doesn’t have anyone in his corner here. The fans are mostly behind Crazy, who now has Mexican flag inspired attire. Feeling out process to start until Crazy hits a top rope cross body on Guido for two. Tajiri kicks both of them down and goes after Crazy’s knee to take over. Guido gets sent to the ramp, allowing Tajiri to hook a headscissors on Crazy. Super comes back with a springboard missile dropkick but Guido comes in with a springboard cross body for of his own.

Guido and Tajiri make a short lived deal to work on Crazy but Tajiri quickly turns on Guido with a dropkick to the face. More kicks to the legs send Guido to the floor and Crazy puts him in the front row. Crazy dives over the barricade to take him down but Tajiri takes both of them down with a huge Asai moonsault. Sal is in the ring and crushes the non-Italians. Guido nails a middle rope Fameasser to Tajiri and covers Crazy for two.

Tajiri grabs a German suplex for two of his own on Guido before they both head to the floor again. Guido gets dropped ribs first onto the barricade and Tajiri takes him back into the crowd. This time it’s Crazy hitting a huge top rope Asai moonsault over the barricade to take both guys down again. Sal misses a charge and flies through a table to take him out for awhile. Back in and Tajiri puts Crazy in the Tarantula, leaving Crazy wide open for a hard dropkick to the face from Guido.

Crazy pops right back up and puts Tajiri in a surfboard with a dragon sleeper added in. He switches it up to a camel clutch and Guido adds on a Sicilian crab at the same time. Somehow Tajiri doesn’t give up so the hold is broken. Guido hits a quick Tomikaze for two on Crazy but Tajiri puts Guido in the Tree of Woe. A hard baseball slide to the face followed by a top rope moonsault from Crazy is enough to eliminate Guido.

It’s down to Tajiri vs. Crazy as soon as the referee is able to roll the unconscious Guido to the floor. Crazy kicks him down and nails a springboard moonsault for two before hammering away in the corner. The fans are nice enough to count to ten in Spanish as he fires in the right hands.

Tajiri comes right back with the handspring elbow, only to have Crazy nail a quick sitout powerbomb. The fans chant Super Loco but Tajiri counters another powerbomb into a spinning DDT. Crazy is back up first though and nails a reverse tornado DDT for no cover. Instead he loads up the three moonsaults but Tajiri gets his knees up to block the second one. A hard kick to Crazy’s head sets up a brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: B-. This was your usual spotfest but well done. There’s nothing wrong with sending three good high fliers out there to fire up the crowd for awhile. It’s not a great match or anything and the first Crazy vs. Tajiri match was more entertaining, but this was a very fun match and a much better choice than a lot of the nonsense ECW puts on pay per view at times. I wouldn’t mind if Tajiri and Crazy got some higher profile matches after this. Guido is a comedy character and shouldn’t be elevated.

Another three way, this time for the TV Title on ECW on TNN, April 14, 2000.

TV Title: Little Guido vs. Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Elimination rules. Crazy is defending but the Network has promised the title to both challengers. It’s a brawl to start with Crazy being knocked to the floor. Guido kicks Tajiri down for two but gets sent to the floor a second later. Crazy comes back in but gets tossed as well by Tajiri. Guido gets kicked in the face by Tajiri but Big Sal crushes Tajiri on the floor. They’re flying around too fast to keep up with right now.

Sal misses a splash against the barricade and Tajiri bails into the crowd. Crazy uses Sal’s back as a launching pad to dive at Tajiri before pounding away on Sal in the ring. Tajiri comes back in to kick a chair into Crazy’s ribs but Guido is back in again to kick Tajiri down as well. A suplex gets two on the champion before he and Guido head to the floor. Crazy is dropped face first onto the concrete but Tajiri sends Guido over the barricade for a superkick to the jaw.

Crazy is busted BAD as Tajiri blasts Guido in the head with a chair, busting him open as well. Tajiri brings in a table but kicks Guido to the floor instead of putting him through it. Sal interferes again to give Guido control again. Crazy continues to stagger around at ringside as the challengers are back inside. Tajiri kicks Sal through a table at ringside before putting Guido in an inverted Gory Special. Even Tajiri is busted open now but he kicks both guys in the head to keep control.

Another table is brought in and placed over Guido who is already under a chair. Crazy is laid on the table but avoids Tajiri’s top rope double stomp, sending it through the table and onto Guido for the elimination. So it’s Crazy vs. Tajiri for the title now with Tajiri blasting him in the face with a chair. A German suplex puts Crazy down for two and here’s the Network. Crazy powerbombs Tajiri down for two and slides in another table.

Tajiri comes back with a crowbar of all things and blasts Crazy in the ribs. The champion kicks him down and gets the crowbar but has to duck the green mist. Another powerbomb puts Tajiri through the table but there’s no one to count. Cue Rhyno for a Gore on Crazy and a piledriver from the apron through the table at ringside. Tajiri covers the corpse that used to be Super Crazy for the pin and the title.

Rating: C. This had to happen at some point as Crazy always felt like a placeholder until we got to the important stuff. That being said, it was nice for the 485th edition of this match to actually be worth something. The carnage here was more than they needed, especially when you had three talented guys in there. At least it was exciting though.

Tajiri would have a blood bath at Hardcore Heaven 2000.

Steve Corino vs. Yoshihiro Tajiri

Corino is completely different now, having abandoned the cowardly character and becoming a serious old school style wrestler who can brawl with anyone. Tajiri has been thrown out of the Network after refusing to hand the TV Title to Rhino, thus turning face in the process. Corino is fighting for the Network here but offers to let Tajiri off. This turns into a racist tirade and Tajiri is ready to fight.

Tajiri misses a big kick to the head and Corino nails him with an enziguri. A hurricanrana is countered into a sitout powerbomb to give Steve two but Tajiri comes back with the Tarantula. They head to the ramp where Tajiri nails him with a kick to the ribs and a brainbuster to send Corino to the floor. Corino is already busted so Tajiri bites at the cut as is the custom in ECW. Back in and Steve is put in the Tree of Woe for the sliding kick to the face. There is a pool of blood under Corino’s head.

Tajiri loads up another baseball slide with a chair over Steve’s face but Jack Victory makes the save. Corino comes back with a superkick for one but his long blond hair is now almost entirely red. Steve can’t follow up so Tajiri sets up a table but kicks the edge of it, driving the other end into Steve’s ribs. You can’t see the blond in Corino’s hair anymore. Tajiri clotheslines Corino and Victory down but Corino pops back up with a backdrop through the table for two.

Corino gets two off a fisherman’s suplex and a northern lights gets the same. Steve sets up a table in the corner but gets kicked down to the mat. Tajiri puts on the Octopus Hold and Victory gets the green mist. The distraction lets Steve escape and grab a powerslam for a near fall. Tajiri goes INSANE with some of the fastest kicks and punches I’ve ever seen, followed by a big kick to the head. Corino is laid out on the table and a big double stomp from the top drives him through for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a really solid match with both guys looking great and Corino looking like a warrior out there. It’s a good example of two talented guys being able to have their skills shine through instead of getting bogged down by all the weapons and nonsense. Corino would gain a lot of respect very soon, partially because of this performance.

Tajiri would hook up with Mikey Whipwreck as the Unholy Alliance and challenge the FBI for the Tag Team Titles at November to Remember 2000.

Tag Team Titles: FBI vs. Unholy Alliance

The Italians are defending again and there’s no Minister at ringside. Mikey and Mamaluke get things going and hit the mat for a nice technical sequence before Tony gets caught in a spinning side slam. Tajiri sneaks in for a hard kick to Tony’s head and it’s off to Guido to renew an old rivalry. We get another nice technical sequence with Tajiri cranking on the arm and rolling Guido over for two.

Off to Mikey who holds holds Guido’s leg while his throat is over the rope. Tajiri tries to jump over Mikey and onto Guido’s back but mainly just lands on his partner. Instead they both place a chair next to his head and kick the chairs together to crush Guido’s head. Back in and Mikey hits a double Whippersnapper off the middle rope but hurts his shoulder in the process. The match stops for a bit as Mikey has to be taken out on a stretcher.

The fans want Super Crazy but no one comes out to help Tajiri. He helps himself with the green mist but Guido ducks. The Italians take Tajiri down into a Sicilian crab/camel clutch combo but now Crazy comes out to even up the odds. Crazy cleans house until the match settles down with Tajiri stomping a chair onto Guido’s head. Crazy holds up the chair for a dropkick against Guido’s head and the Italian is busted open.

Guido finally escapes for a tag to Mamaluke and the Italians start working on Tajiri’s arm. He’s able to counter the Kiss of Death and nails Guido in the head with a superkick but Mamaluke makes the save. Tajiri finally nails both Italians with the handspring elbow, allowing for the hot tag to Crazy.

The sitout powerbomb gets two on Mamaluke and a running DDT get sthe same on Guido. Everything breaks down again and Sal sends Crazy into the crowd. Tajiri puts Guido in a keylock as Crazy moonsaults off a sign onto Sal. The camera cuts right as contact is made, making the whole thing look stupid. Back inside and Guido grabs a bulldog on Tajiri to break up the Tarantula for the pin to retain.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t terrible but the Italians as champions just isn’t working. There are other teams that deserve the belts more than they do and the fans aren’t interested in what they’re being given. Crazy or Whipwreck and Tajiri would have been good champions but instead we’re stuck with the same guys holding the belts. They’re good, but they’re not interesting.

It was off to the WWF soon after ECW closed with Tajiri becoming part of the Alliance. Here he is challenging for the Light Heavyweight Title on Raw, August 6, 2001.

Light Heavyweight Title: X-Pac vs. Tajiri

First of all, Pac has both titles but this is just for one because having one less title means the end of the world as we know it I guess. Second, this is for a WWF Title between two WWF guys, so there’s an Alliance referee. The fans all think X-Pac sucks. They trade kicks and Tajiri takes over with his signature stuff. Pac sends him to the floor and mostly misses his dive. We can hear a voice which I think is the director. Back in, Pac tries something off the top but jumps into Mist and a Buzzsaw Kick to give Tajiri his first title. Too short to rate but Paul says that’s his first major title in the WWF. What’s a minor title then?

Another title shot, this time on Raw from September 10, 2001.

US Title: Tajiri vs. Kanyon

Kanyon takes him into the corner to start but Tajiri gets behind him and fires off the strikes. They go to the corner and the Flatliner gets two for Kanyon. They go to the floor where nothing happens and Tajiri tries a sunset flip coming back in. In a SWEET counter, Kanyon stands up and hooks a northern lights suplex out of the sunset flip attempt for two. Kanyon picks up the belt but Torrie grabs it and swings, hitting Tajiri in the head for two. Kanyon gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for two. Green Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick give Tajiri the title.

Rating: C-. Not a horrible match I guess and Torrie looked smoking hot as always, but giving them a total of three and a half minutes didn’t do them any favors. Both of these guys were good in the ring but their characters weren’t going to get them any further than they got here, and that’s ok.

We’ll jump ahead about a year to No Mercy 2002 for yet another title shot.

Cruiserweight Title: Tajiri vs. Jamie Noble

Noble is champion here. Tajiri was the referee in a Noble/Nidia match on Smackdown for no apparent reason so Noble kicked his teeth in afterwards. Tajiri gets a baseball slide before the bell rings as that’s a running theme lately. Asai Moonsault hits and that’s about the extent of Tajiri’s offense for awhile.

Nice electric chair by Noble gets two. Pretty much domination by the champion so far. Tazz and Cole imply these three are in a three way relationship or something but that never went anywhere. The commentary is far more sexual in nature than what you would be used to in WWE today.

Jamie gets knocked off the top rope as he tries a suplex so Tajiri gets to miss a moonsault now. He does get a tornado DDT but doesn’t cover for no apparent reason. Both guys down now. Both guys up now. Tajiri unleashes that martial arts rush which is always awesome. Handspring elbow has Jamie in big trouble. German suplex gets two.

There’s the Tarantula and Jamie is reeling. Big kick misses and the Tiger Bomb is countered. There’s the kick and Nidia kisses the referee so he can’t make the count. And there’s the Tiger Bomb for two which is surprising. Tajiri goes for a victory roll but Nidia trips him so Jamie can dive into it for the Owen Hart at Mania X pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here and at least they allowed Tajiri to get in more offense than it looked like he was going to get. It’s nothing great or anything like that but this was definitely watchable and the whole thing worked pretty well. It’s a shame no one cared about this or it might have been interesting.

Yet ANOTHER title match at Judgment Day 2003.

Smackdown Tag Titles: Team Angle vs. Eddie Guerrero/Tajiri

Ladder match and Team Angle (Haas and Benjamin) are champions here. The brawl starts in the aisle as this should be rather good. Benjamin throws Eddie into a ladder and Tajiri takes his medal off. Team Angle beats Tajiri down with Eddie having been slammed into the ladder earlier. Ah there’s Eddie. And so much for that as he gets dropped on Haas’ knee to take care of that. Apparently Team Angle not knowing where a ladder is makes them inexperienced.

Tajiri and Eddie botch the heck out of something as they drop Tajiri onto the floor instead of a ladder. That looked awful. A handspring elbow by Tajiri to the ladder takes it and the champions down. Ladder goes into Charlie’s balls and the look on his face is priceless. Another ladder comes into the ring and Haas gets sandwiched between them as Eddie hits the hilo onto the ladder onto Charlie onto the ladder.

Shelton pulls Tajiri off the ladder and Tajiri’s face hits the rung on the way down. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Shelton powerslams Eddie into the ladder and the challengers are in trouble. This is one of those matches where there are just spots happening with very little going on in between. Not bad but kind of tiring. Team Angle does that jump on the back thing but from a ladder onto the ladder with Tajiri in between. That was awesome looking.

Haas almost gets up there but Eddie pops up to send Haas flying to the floor. The ladder gets wedged between the top and middle rope and Eddie is sent flying into it. Time for the Tajiri kicks and a ladder shot. Tarantula goes onto Haas which gets a big pop. Shelton saves his partner by driving the ladder into the head of the Japanese man. The champions take over again with Eddie in trouble.

The idea here is supposed to be that Team Angle doesn’t know how to win a ladder match due to inexperience. The problem with that is simple: you climb the thing. That’s how you win. See the belts? Go get them! How hard is that? Eddie goes up but Charlie keeps slowing him down.

Shelton goes after him too but Eddie knocks him down and drops a Frog Splash on him in a cool spot. Eddie vs. Charlie on top of the ladder and Charlie takes a sunset bomb to the mat. Always loved that move. Tajiri is finally back and his Mists Shelton to let Eddie grab the belts as we have new champions.

Rating: B-. This was good but the problem is that we’ve seen all this before. The MITB match coming up would make everything else done not called TLC seem weak. This was a good match and belonged on the PPV but it feels pretty worthless all things considered now. Good match, nothing we haven’t seen before though.

In other news, Tajiri gets a title shot at Summerslam 2003.

US Title: Eddie Guerrero vs. Chris Benoit vs. Tajiri vs. Rhyno

Eddie is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Eddie has ticked off all three challengers so they all want to take him out. The champion bails to the floor so everyone else can fight and we quickly get down to Rhyno vs. Benoit. Chris hooks a quick Crossface, drawing Eddie in for the save. Tajiri is back in as well but Eddie breaks up a cover. Everyone is in now and all three challengers go after Eddie at the same time.

Rhyno hits a running shoulder to Eddie’s ribs in the corner and powerslams him down for two but Benoit comes back with a German suplex. A belly to back gets two on Tajiri but Eddie makes another save. Benoit is suplexed to the floor and Eddie is left alone with Tajiri, only to have the challenger monkey flip Eddie down for two. Rhyno comes back in and sends Tajiri to the floor but Benoit wants to beat up Eddie himself, triggering a brawl between challengers.

Rhyno gets control again and superplexes Eddie down for two but Tajiri kicks him in the back of the head. Tajiri snaps off the handspring elbow for two on Chris but Rhyno sends Tajiri to the floor, only to have Eddie headscissor him out to the floor. Eddie hurricanranas Benoit out of the corner for two and it’s Tajiri in again for some hard kicks. Eddie hooks the Lasso From El Paso (Liontamer crossed with the Texas Cloverleaf) on Tajiri but Benoit stops Rhyno from making the save with the Crossface.

Tajiri makes the ropes so Eddie turns around to dropkick Benoit in the head for the save. Benoit grabs the Crossface on Guerrero but Rhyno and Tajiri make the double save. Rhyno hits a spinebuster for two on Tajiri but Benoit knocks Rhyno to the floor. Chris rolls some Germans on Tajiri but Tajiri reverses into one of his own for two on Benoit.

Tajiri catches a charging Benoit in the Tarantula and the distraction lets Eddie get the US Title to shield himself from Rhyno’s Gore. Tajiri breaks up the Frog Splash but gets caught in the Tree of Woe. Benoit Swan Dives Rhyno but Tajiri makes a last second save. Tajiri and Benoit fall to the floor and Eddie frog splashes Rhyno to retain.

Rating: B+. This was non-stop action for about eleven minutes and incredibly entertaining as a result. It’s a great example of how wrestling and action can be so much more interesting than whatever drama the McMahons have going on at the moment. Watching these four make save after save is WAY more fun than hearing about Bischoff forcing himself on Linda or Stephanie being FURIOUS with Sable over whatever affair her dad is having this month.

Raw Tag Team Titles this time. From Unforgiven 2004.

Raw Tag Titles: La Resistance vs. Tajiri/Rhyno

Conway/Grenier here. Conway vs. Tajiri starts us off and Tajiri speeds around a lot to take over. Off to Grenier who hits the floor to avoid a Gore. Tajiri comes back in and takes over with a semi-botched tornado DDT. Conway beats on Tajiri and the fans just do not care. Off to a reverse chinlock as the fans chant USA for a Japanese comeback. Rhyno comes in and beats on both French dudes a bit.

This match needs to end like five minutes ago. It’s just boring but you could say that about every tag title match in this period. We hear about Rhyno looking everywhere for a partner as he walks into a double flapjack for two. The flag goes into Conway’s balls but a Gore only gets two. And there’s a flag to the face of Rhyno for the cheap pin.

Rating: F+. This had zero point in being on PPV. It wouldn’t even be a good Raw match, mainly because it went on way too long, getting almost ten minutes. La Resistance would be the heel team of the year for awhile as no one cared at all and it went nowhere at all. The tag division sucked BAD around this point and this is a fine example of it.

One last title shot and this time it’s in Japan. From Raw on February 7, 2005.

Raw Tag Titles: William Regal/Tajiri vs. La Resistance

Gee I wonder what’s going to happen here. Conway and Grenier here. The place ERUPTS for Tajiri who is all fired up here. Regal and Eugene were champions but Eugene is injured so Regal picked Tajiri as his new partner. Massive Tajiri chant starts up so Regal starts off with Conway. Regal Stretch goes on but it’s off to Tajiri who adds the low dropkick as the offense is on.

Regal plays Ricky Morton for a bit here despite getting some shots in to try to break the momentum. The fans chant something but it’s in Japanese. Grenier punches Tajiri so when Regal takes him down there’s no one to tag. STF is broken up quickly and there’s the hot tag to Tajiri who cleans house. Let the kicks begin! Enziguri hits Grenier for two as everything breaks down. Double handspring elbow takes out the French dudes and it’s Tarantula time. Regal takes Conway down and there’s the Green Mist and a Buzzsaw kick gives us new champions.

Rating: C+. The match totally doesn’t matter and is rated too high, but this is about giving the fans something to erupt for and that’s exactly what they did here. Tajiri and Regal would hold the belts about three months so this wasn’t just a fluke title reign. No problem at all with this and while it’s not great or anything, it was perfectly done as it made Tajiri look like a star.

That’s about it for Tajiri in America as he went back to Japan to wrestle for Hustle and NJPW. He even started his own company called Smash which for some reason had ties to Finland. We’ll wrap it up with one more match from Pro Wrestling Noah on July 22, 2012.

Tajiri vs. Maybach Taniguchi

This appears to be a hardcore or death match as Tajiri comes in holding a barbed wire baseball bat. They’re quickly on the floor with Tajiri being very aggressive and sending Taniguchi into the barricade. He throws a short ladder into the ring and whips the masked Mayback into the ladder in the corner. Tajiri throws the ladder over the ropes to try and hit Taniguchi again but only nails the concrete.

Now we get the opening bell and Taniguchi chokes away back inside. More choking ensues in the corner as this is nowhere near as violent as it seemed it would be. A chokeslam plants Tajiri but he escapes a powerbomb, only to be shoved into the referee. Mayback grabs the ball bat but Tajiri takes it away and drives it into the masked man’s ribs. He rips Taniguchi’s mask open, but it allows Taniguchi to blow red mist into Tajiri’s face. The referee gets up just in time to see Taniguchi blast Tajiri with a chair for the DQ.

Rating: C-. This was an odd match as it came off looking like a blood feud but turned into a slow paced match for most of the middle. The ending picked things up a bit but it still wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Tajiri going insane could be something interesting to see if he had time though.

Tajiri is a guy who is known for doing one thing but is capable of doing a lot more on top of that. Those kicks are insane though and sound a lot worse than they actually are. Still though, he’s entertaining to watch and still looks good even much later in his career. It’s a shame he couldn’t talk or he could have been a bigger deal.

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