P.J. Walker vs. Lex Luger

Luger is still the Narcissist. A hard whip sends Walker into the buckle and we hear from Bobby Heenan on the phone, bragging about how awesome Luger is. The squashing continues as we get into a bizarre bit about commentator Rob Bartlett pretending to be Elvis as Heenan says that Bartlett is George Steinbrenner before Priscilla Pressley is serving Heenan drinks by his pool. Luger pins Walker with his pinkie after the loaded forearm. It was long enough to rate but I think Heenan’s call sums up the match just fine.

Another year, this time from November 14, 1994 on Raw. Credible is debuting his most infamous gimmick here: the Portuguese Man O War, Aldo Montoya. Why Portuguese? Why a Man O War? Why does he wear a jock strap for a mask? Answer: it’s 1994 so no one noticed.

Brooklyn Brawler vs. Aldo Montoya

The Brawler chops away to start but gets dropkicked to the floor, setting up a bad looking plancha from Aldo. Back in and Brawler gets two off a backbreaker but walks into an even worse looking hurricanrana. Montoya nails a top rope cross body for the pin out of nowhere.

We’ll skip 1995 and head to Raw, August 5, 1996.

Jerry Lawler vs. Aldo Montoya

This is a rematch from Superstars where Aldo beat Lawler in a match dedicated to Jake Roberts with a DDT. Lawler talks A LOT of trash about Jake Roberts before the match. He keeps talking after the bell and offers Montoya a chance to speak, only to kick him in the face to take over. Montoya fights back in the corner and nails a dropkick but Lawler runs from another DDT. Some LOUD right hands have Lawler in trouble but Aldo walks into a piledriver to stop him cold. Another piledriver is enough to give Jerry the pin.

One final WWF match, from Thursday Raw Thursday on February 13, 1997. Again, I have no idea why they called it that.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

We’ll head over to ECW now, with Credible becoming his most successful character: a jerk who doesn’t like tradition or authority. We’ll start at November to Remember 1997.

Justin Credible vs. Mikey Whipwreck

Credible is a guy that rose up the ECW ranks over the years despite not being the most interesting wrestler on the roster. He’s managed by an annoying guy named Jason. They slug it out to start until Mikey sends him to the floor for a big dive. A hurricanrana on the floor has Justin in trouble and a whip into the barricade doesn’t help things. Back in and Justin goes for the eyes to take over before a missile dropkick gets two.

Credible kicks him in the back of the head for two more and gets the same off a sunset bomb. We hit the chinlock into a sleeper but Whipwreck comes back with a superkick and powerbomb for a pair of near falls. Whipwreck has to deal with Jason via a low blow but Justin nails a reverse DDT. Justin goes up but Mikey whips Jason into the ropes to crotch him down, setting up a Whippersnapper (middle rope Stunner) for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was better than the opener due to how much shorter it was than the first match. Mikey was kind of a feel good story and another character that embodied the idea of ECW by having success when no one thought he had a chance. We’ll see a lot more of Justin in the upcoming shows.

Off to Cyberslam 1998 for a rival that we’ll be seeing more of later.

Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

First blood here. Dreamer in a gimmick match that makes things more violent? Who would have seen that coming? Justin has been talking about Tommy’s family apparently. Oh and they’re having a regular match Sunday. Of course they are. One great thing about these old ECW shows: Beaulah. She is freaking gorgeous on all levels. Dreamer brings a trashcan lid with him because that’s how he rolls.

Out to the floor almost immediately as the fans make fun of Nicole Bass. She’s Justin’s bodyguard if that clears anything up. Dreamer hits a slingshot into a chair into the post. So what was the point of the chair if the post was already back there? Cactus Clothesline over the railing by Dreamer puts them both into the crowd. Time to walk around the arena like in every big ECW brawl.

We’re already on our third chant that implies Bass is a male. Jason, Justin’s uh…..friend I guess, interferes and a reverse DDT puts Dreamer down. The chair gets wedged between the top two ropes and Dreamer goes head first into it. Justin suplexes him onto the chair which doesn’t really hurt the head. Then again no one accused Justin of being all that intelligent.

A second suplex is countered and here comes Dreamer. Neckbreaker out of the corner still doesn’t work on the head at all. Beaulah and Jason have a quick argument in the ring which results in the referee taking a road sign shot to the head. Death Valley Driver puts Justin down as the fans chant Louie. DDT onto the chair but still no blood.

Time for the barbed wire and Tommy wraps it around himself. Seriously, does no one in ECW think these things through? A splash off the top hits Justin and Dreamer is in agony. And here’s RVD with a top rope kick to put a trashcan into the head of Dreamer. Barbed wire into his head plus a trashcan to the barbed wire wrapped around Dreamer’s head busts him open. A tombstone kills Beaulah and the referee wakes up in time to see Dreamer’s blood to end this.

Rating: D+. Just a weak match here that for the most part had no psychology at all. The run in made no sense but I guess it’s something that you need to watch the TV show to get. Also, what’s the point in having a gimmick match a week before a regular match? Either way, nothing of note here and just your usual brawl in ECW.

Back to another guy we’ve seen before at Wrestlepalooza 1998.

Mikey Whipwreck vs. Justin Credible

Credible has his new girl Chastity and Jason with him. Mikey tries a Whippersnapper a few seconds in but has to settle for a spear. Justin is sent to the floor and nailed by some left hands to the face. A hard whip sends Justin into the crowd and a Russian legsweep puts him into the barricade. Mikey pulls the barricade closer to the ring but gets shoved off the apron and goes back first into the steel.

Back in and Justin rams Mikey into a chair before stomping him down in the corner. Jason holds the chair in front of Mikey in the corner so Justin can drive the steel into Mikey’s head with a running knee. A powerbomb onto the chair gets two and the fans chant Aldo, referencing a character that Justin played in the WWF. Mikey tries a Whippersnapper but gets countered into a reverse DDT for two.

They head outside again and Mikey suplexes him off the barricade and through a table. Mikey brings a second chair inside as Justin picks up the first. Whipwreck’s chair blasts Justin’s into his face before a catapulut into a chair in the corner gets two. The Whippersnapper puts Justin down but Mikey has to hit one on Jason as well. Chastity gets a super Whippersnapper from the middle rope but Justin hits That’s Incredible on the chair for the pin.

Rating: D+. The match was ok but it’s becoming clear that Justin really doesn’t have anything interesting to offer. He’s not terrible but he’s such a generic heel that it’s really hard to care about him or get angry at him. Mikey was trying but he needs a better villain to work off. Also you would think there would have been more leg work in the match.

Here’s the finale of a Best of 21 series held over the summer of 1998 at Heat Wave 1998.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Credible’s entourage continues to grow as he now has Nicole Bass, Chastity and Jason with him. These two wrestled twenty one times over the summer so they’re certainly familiar with each other. This is billed as the final match in their series so whoever wins here wins the feud. The referees are back to the half red and half black shirts instead of the stripes.

Jerry grabs a quick armdrag to start and the fans are all over Justin. A second armdrag puts Credible down before Jerry lands some loud chops in the corner. Jerry nails a cross body for two and clotheslines Justin out to the floor for a big dive onto the concrete. We hit the headlock but Justin spins out of a slam into a reverse DDT to take over. Credible stomps away in the corner, setting up a running knee to drive a chair into Jerry’s face.

A powerbomb onto the chair gets two and they head outside again with Jerry being sent into the barricade. Back in and Justin poses after every move as he is known to do. Credible goes up top but dives into a flapjack to get us back to even. Justin grabs a swinging Boss Man Slam for two and we hit the chinlock. The camera looks to be laying on its side to film the hold.

Back up and Lynn gets two of his own off a sitout powerbomb and a hurricanrana. Jery goes up top but dives into a powerbomb to give Credible a near fall of his own. We get a chair brought in by Chastity, though it’s Jerry DDTing Justin onto the steel for two. Justin is sent to the apron and Jerry loads up a table at ringside. He puts Credible on the ropes for a top rope hurricanrana off the top and down through the table for the big spot of the match.

Back in again and Jerry has to fight off the entourage, including kicking Bass low and hitting her in the back with a chair. Chastity kicks Justin low by mistake so Jerry tombstones her, much to Joey’s delight. Lynn takes Justin up top for a hurricanrana, only to have Justin counter into That’s Incredible off the ropes for the pin and the win in the series.

Rating: B-. This was the best opener at an ECW pay per view since Hardcore Heaven. They kept the insanity under control here and let the guys wrestle until the big finish. It’s also nice to see someone sell a move or two and do some basic wrestling in between all the high spots. Good match here and the interference actually made sense for a change. Justin getting a pin off his own move rather than someone helping him directly made things better too.

Back to Dreamer at Guilty As Charged 1999.

Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

A tough fighting woman named Jasmyn (later to be known as Jazz and that’s how his name is spelled on her jacket) has replaced Chastity in Justin’s entourage. Dreamer drags out a ladder with him. There’s no Terry Funk in sight. They chop it out to start until Dreamer kicks Justin low and plants him with a spinebuster. A running clothesline puts them out on the floor but Dreamer is whipped into the barricade. Justin gets dropped throat first onto the barricade for his efforts and we get our first chair thrown in.

Back in and Dreamer gets caught in a reverse DDT onto the chair. Justin throws him onto the ramp and sets up the chair next to Dreamer. The drop toehold sends Tommy throat first into the chair before they head back inside, only to have Tommy ram him into the chair as well. The Dreamer Driver plants Justin and the ladder is brought into play. Dreamer avoids a double baseball slide and nails Justin and Jason with the ladder before bridging it between the ring and the barricade.

Justin gets dropped face first onto the ladder before it’s taken inside. A catapult sends Justin into the ladder in the corner but he’s able to slam the ladder into Dreamer’s arm. He crushes the arm between the ladder and smashes it with a chair as Bass yells trash from the floor. Tommy somehow sends him into the ladder for a breather before countering a superplex. Jason comes in and gets caught in a DDT attempt, only to have Jasmyn come in with a low blow and snap suplex.

Credible can’t capitalize as his baseball slide gets himself crotched against the post. A death valley driver puts Justin down again and Tommy knocks one end of the ladder into Justin’s face for good measure. The ladder is finally set up in the middle of the ring but Justin takes over again and puts Dreamer on top of it before dumping him over the top and through a ladder at ringside.

Dreamer makes a save and sends Justin face first into a chair conveniently laid across the top rope. The ladder is then laid across the middle rope in the corner but Justin drives him into it instead. He wraps the ladder around Tommy’s head and drives the top of it into the buckle for a painful looking spot. Dreamer is busted open as Justin brings the ladder back in. Credible climbs but Tommy pulls out another ladder which he stands next to Justin’s.

In a clearly cooperative spot, Dreamer gets Justin with one foot on each ladder before pulling him down with a cutter. Tommy climbs up and gets the cane before diving off a lower rung into a DDT on Credible. Justin gets tied to the ropes and it’s time for revenge. This brings out Funk with a garbage can to knock Dreamer senseless, setting up That’s Incredible (more like a slam) on the ladder to give Justin the pin.

Rating: D. Justin never even touched the cane in the entire match, pretty much making the whole thing complete pointless. This was WAY too long at nearly twenty minutes and continues to show that Justin is nothing all that special. He’s ok, but that’s his biggest problem: he’s so ok that there’s no justification for putting him in a spot this high on a pay per view card.

Justin would hook up with Lance Storm to form the Impact Players. They would main event Heat Wave 1999 against a dream team.

Impact Players vs. Rob Van Dam/Jerry Lynn

All four guys get individual entrances and only Dawn is with the Impact Players. Rob stops at ringside and smiles at a sign that says Get Well Soon Sonya. Sonya is Van Dam’s wife and was in a bad Jet Ski accident around this time. Rob blows a kiss at the camera in a sweet moment. Lynn has a broken nose, though Joey doesn’t bring it up until about twelve minutes into the match. Jerry gets started with Credible and the stalling is on in a hurry. Lynn chops away in the corner and they fight over a tombstone with neither guy getting it. Justin backdrops out of the cradle piledriver but gets taken down with a bulldog.

Lance takes a dropkick to send him to the floor and Jerry catapults Justin down onto his partner. Back in and Van Dam gets the tag, sending Justin running to the corner to bring in Storm. Rob takes him down to the mat in a nice amateur move before getting two off a small package. They get up and flip over each other a few times before Rob monkey flips Lance down. More flips lead to Storm’s half crab but Van Dam rolls out and kicks Storm in the face.

Jerry comes back in and chops everyone in sight before putting Storm in an abdominal stretch. The hold is broken in less than five seconds so Jerry snaps Storm’s throat over the top rope. Credible hits a knee from the apron before nailing Jerry in the head with the Singapore cane. Now Justin is willing to come back in and stomps away in the corner before putting a chair over Lynn’s face for a dropkick.

A sitout powerbomb out of the corner gets two for Justin before it’s back to Lance for a good looking dropkick. They trade rollups for two each until Storm kicks Jerry’s head off for two. Back to Justn for an Outsider’s Edge before he brings Lance back in after only a few moments of ring time. Storm tries to bring in a chair but Jerry dropkicks it back into his face. Credible breaks up a hot tag attempt but gets DDTed down onto the chair.

Rob comes in off the tag and hammers away on Storm including the top rope kick to the face. Alfonso sends in a chair which Van Dam dropkicks into Storm’s face, sending him outside. Rob hits the spinning kick to the back onto a chair onto Storm’s back and both guys are down. Everything breaks down and Rob misses the slingshot legdrop to Storm back inside. Justin gets in a single kick to the back of Rob’s head before he runs back to the floor. Alfonso bridges a table between the ring and barricade for later.

Storm shoves Van Dam off the top rope and onto a chair, setting up the top rope spinwheel kick for two. Rob nails his own spinwheel kick to put Lance down and Rolling Thunder onto a chair crushes Storm again. Justin comes in to go after the downed Van Dam before running away when Rob gets up. Credible is sent to the table on the floor but Sabu runs in and splashes Justin through the table before Rob can jump. Storm hits Jerry with a chair and covers but avoids the Five Star, which hits Lynn by mistake. Jerry kicks out at two, right before a Van Daminator nails Storm. The cradle piledriver is enough to give Jerry the pin.

Rating: B-. This wasn’t great but it followed the tag team formula, making things far easier to sit through. I’m not sure on the booking though as the Impact Players are supposed to be a big deal but they lose in their first major match together. Lynn’s path to the top of the company continues, while Rob continues to not get to the main event for reasons that still don’t make sense, no matter how many times I hear about the TV Title being just as important as the World Title.

The team would lose the titles soon after, only to get a rematch at Living Dangerously 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Impact Players vs. Mike Awesome/Raven vs. Masato Tanaka/Tommy Dreamer

Awesome and Raven are defending and this is elimination rules. Tanaka and Dreamer aren’t here yet as the brawl gets going. Awesome counters a Storm hurricanrana into a sitout powerbomb before diving over the top onto Justin and Jason. Raven hits the drop toehold onto Storm onto the chair as Dreamer and Tanaka hit the ring. Tommy immediately DDTs Raven for two before Tanaka clotheslines Credible down.

Storm gets two on Tanaka off a nice dropkick as everyone but Awesome is in the ring. Dreamer bulldogs Raven before heading to the floor for a massive brawl. Awesome nails Storm with a chair as Raven drop toeholds Dreamer face first into the edge of a table for two. The broken table is put up in the corner but Tanaka escapes a running Awesome Bomb and belly to back suplexes Mike through the table. Tanaka hits the Roaring Elbow for the pin on Awesome, guaranteeing us new champions. This is the last time we’ll see Awesome and Raven. More on that later.

Storm stomps on the bleeding Tommy before Justin hits the running release DDT for two. Back to Storm for another great looking dropkick before a sitout powerbomb gets two for Justin. Everything breaks down and Tanaka hits a double Stunner to Lance and Jason. Tanaka and Dreamer hammer away in the corner at the Players but Justin nails Dreamer with a Singapore cane, knocking him into a reverse DDT from Storm. Diamond Dust lays out Justin but Tanaka gets piledriven. A spike piledriver to Dreamer gives the Impact Players the belts back.

Rating: D+. So to recap, Tanaka/Dreamer and Raven/Awesome both won and lost the Tag Team Titles in the span of fifteen days, meaning this match put us right back where we were three weeks ago. The Impact Players were the only option to win here, but the match was such a mess that you could barely tell what was going on.

At Cyberslam 2000, Tommy Dreamer would beat Taz to become World Champion. Justin would attack him a few seconds later and an impromptu title defense broke out.

ECW World Title: Justin Credible vs. Tommy Dreamer

Dreamer’s eye is busted open but he takes both guys to the floor with a Cactus Clothesline. Justin is rammed into the barricade a few times and they head into the crowd as is ECW’s custom. All Dreamer so far as he whips Justin into the barricade and rings the bell on Justin’s crotch. Back in and Justin reverses a Death Valley Driver into a reverse DDT onto a chair for two. Credible hammers away in the corner and hits his running DDT which isn’t a DDT because he lands on his knees for two.

Dreamer comes back with a bad looking Tommyhawk (reverse Razor’s Edge into a cutter, though it looked more like a Stunner here) for two. Francine, who already screwed Tommy over once recently, helps Dreamer set up a table on the floor. A HORRIBLE looking Death Valley Driver (looked more like a botched TKO) puts Credible through the table but he comes right back with That’s Incredible for two. Jason yells PLAN B and Credible goes after Francine. The delay lets Dreamer hit a DDT on Credible, but Francine turns on Dreamer (SHOCKING!), allowing Justin to get the pin for the title.

Rating: D. Why do heroes always have to be stupid? The chick is famous for turning on everyone and she already turned on you once, so why in the world would you believe her here? Nothing match for the most part as Dreamer becomes one of the most transitional champions of all time. I still have no idea what Heyman saw in Credible.

Credible would drop the title after a few months but had a chance to get it back at November To Remember 2000.

ECW World Title: Steve Corino vs. Sandman/Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Jerry is defending. There’s no Sandman to start so Corino sits on the buckle while the other two fight. Lynn backslides Credible for two but has to stop a superkick from Corino. The champion gets double teamed but Corino starts swinging at Justin. Jerry bulldogs both of them down but Corino comes back up to pound on both of them.

The fans all see something in the audience and then Sandman’s music kicks on. Now the match COMPLETELY stops for his entrance. After about two minutes, Credible beats on Lynn but keeps stopping to look at Sandman. Credible accidentally nails Corino to give Lynn an opening. Jerry has been busted somewhere in there. Sandman FINALLY makes it to the ring after a nearly four minute entrance.

Sandman nails everyone with the cane and Jack Victory gets a shot as well. Corino gets draped over the barricade for a legdrop from Sandman as the matches have paired off. Credible hits a Boss Man Slam on Jerry for two but Sandman sends him into a ladder in the corner. Jerry gets whipped into it as well and a Swanton onto the ladder onto Corino gets two. Justin is busted as well as the partners switch off again.

Sandman bulldogs Credible onto the ladder before sending in a bent piece of barricade. Corino is busted open and Lynn sends Sandman into the barricade at ringside. Someone has set up the piece of barricade on four chairs and Sandman suplexes Corino through all of it. Lynn and Credible fight over a tombston with the champion finally nailing it but Francine breaks up the pin. Dawn comes in for the catfight but Corino breaks it up. Sandman uses the distraction to blast Corino in the head. Steve and Justin superkick Lynn down, setting up Old School Expulsion to Sandman and That’s Incredible to Lynn for a double elimination.

So it’s Corino vs. Credible for the title, meaning there will be a new World Champion. The fans are LIVID at Sandman being eliminated so Corino makes a sudden face turn to try to get them on his side. Sandman and Lynn are staying at ringside. A pair of Bionic Elbows get two on Credible as the fans want RVD to come out. Lynn offers to help Corino to his feet but beats the tar out of his in a rather evil move. Justin is sent to the floor so Sandman legsweeps him into the barricade.

Corino sets up a table in the corner but gets into a chop off with Justin. Both guys are getting rubber legged until Justin cheats with a low blow. They hit heads to put both guys down so Sandman and Lynn act as cheerleaders. Corino suplexes Justin through the table for two so Francine gets in the ring, only to take the superkick from Corino, thanks to Justin pulling her in the way. Old School Expulsion gets two and a superkick gets the same for Justin. Dawn goes after Jack Victory and abandons Steve, but he superkicks Credible down for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. The match was a mess but that’s the nature of something like this. There was absolutely no reason for this to not be a four way dance as that’s more or less what it already was. The problem is it doesn’t mean much as Corino didn’t beat Lynn for the title. A pin over Justin means something but not as much as pinning Jerry would have.

After the demise of ECW, it was off to the WWF where Justin was part of the X Factor stable. Here they are at Backlash 2001.

Dudley Boys vs. X-Factor

Six man tag here with all three Dudleyz vs. X-Pac, Credible and Albert. Dang they go from one of the most famous tag matches ever to a six man opening a PPV four weeks later. Brawl to start with the Dudleys clearing the ring. They launch Spike onto Pac and Credible on the floor which is always fun. Spike and Credible start us off with Spike getting a crucifix for two.

Off to Albert who counters the Dudley Dog to take over. Back to Justin and the white socks of fear. Powerbomb out of the corner gets two as this crowd is red hot. Double tags bring in D-Von and Pac and Albert cheats, allowing Pac to kick D-Von’s head off to take over again. X-Factor minus Pac puts D-Von’s balls against the post as this is a rather fast paced match.

Pac gets two off a legdrop and we hit the chinlock. D-Von tries a comeback but walks into a Boss Man Slam to keep him down. Off to Albert who hits a pretty sweet delayed butterfly suplex for two. After a double clothesline it’s hot tag Bubba who cleans house on all three guys. What’s Up to Justin and it’s table time. Albert kills D-Von though and the distraction allows Credible and Pac to hit a double superkick on Bubba for the pin.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid opener here with some fast paced stuff. They got the crowd into the show (ok so this is Chicago so it’s not like it was that hard) and the ending worked. Nothing wrong with having heels win the opener as the match was good enough to get the fans over it. Also the lack of feud prevents the whole emotional damage.

Justin wouldn’t do much during the InVasion and would be out of the company with few accomplishments. After a few years on the indies, we’ll pick things up at an ECW reunion show called Hardcore Homecoming.

Justin Credible vs. Jerry Lynn

Justin is wearing a wifebeater so he looks like a bald and less interesting Billy Kidman. Apparently they had a best of 21 series in the ECW Arena in the summer of 2000. That’s not overkill at all. Jerry is in great shape which I type at the same time Joey says it.

They do a technical style here and Lynn does an awesome move where he’s on the apron and teases a sunset flip but turns in the air and hits a Famerasser instead. I love that. They slow it down a lot and we get a good wrestling match out of these two. Justin argues with Hat Guy which is just fun. It’s saying a lot when you have one fan that gets over just because he’s there a lot. That’s very cool.

In a surprising spot, Jason pops Jerry with a chair and Justin gets the tombstone for a long two. This is actually pretty good. The Cradle piledriver only gets two. Jason shoves Jerry off the top rope for general heelish purposes. Lynn comes back to hit a hurricanrana through a table to the floor, which Joey for some reason calls a reverse victory roll. What the heck?

Jason pulls the referee out. Can someone exterminate him? Jazz breaks up the interference and beats up Jason. You think that’s enough J’s in this match??? The referee is named John also. Lynn hits a Cradle Tombstone Piledriver to get the pin. Lynn says that since his birthday is Sunday (This was a Friday), that wasn’t bad for a 42 year old. The fans actually chant for Justin which will never happen again.

Rating: B-. This was pretty good stuff. Had Jason not been so annoying and had you factored out the tables and the chair and given a hotter crowd, this would have easily been a higher grade. Even still, as Lynn said, not bad for a 42 year old. To say he carried Justin through the match is an understatement though.

Like almost everyone else, Justin had a cup of coffee in TNA. From Genesis 2005.

Raven vs. ???

This is more of Raven vs. Larry Z in a feud that no one cared about. Larry is in the ring and offers him a release again, which Raven can sign or face the opponent. Bird Boy gives him a double bird. Again we hear about some girl that might be controlling Raven, which I think would wind up being Daffney. The mystery opponent is P.J. Polaco, more commonly known as Justin Credible.

They have to call him the former Justin Credible because of legal issues. You get that a lot in TNA. Justin takes him into the corner to start and hits some forearms. Raven gets him down and pounds him down as we hear about Raven holding Justin down or something. I guess they mean in ECW, where Justin was pushed as a huge deal for YEARS. Justin (screw this PJ nonsense) comes back with a knee to the ribs and another one to take Raven down. He stomps on Raven in the ribs as Mike tries to tell us about a rivalry these two had for the Hardcore Title.

A baseball slide dropkick gets two for Credible. Out to the floor and Raven goes into the barricade. Off to a chinlock back in the ring as we hear about Raven’s history of having people fall under his control. Now it’s a dragon sleeper. A knee sends Raven to the floor and Justin finds a kendo stick. Cassidy Riley, a Raven follower/tribute guy, comes out but gets caned for his efforts. Raven takes over in the ring and catches a superkick into an ankle lock. Justin escapes and hits a bad DDT for two but walks into the Raven Effect for the pin.

Rating: D. Not much here but I’m no fan of Justin. Raven was hot in 2005 but man this Larry feud pulled him down through the floor. At the end of the day, it’s Larry Zbyszko, the man who can suck the life out of a crypt. Also, Justin and Raven really just worked together in ECW and had a brief feud in late 1999/early 2000 that not many people likely remember. Not the best opener to say the least.

Back to the WWE for another ECW reunion, this time on Sci-Fi. From June 13, 2006.

Kurt Angle vs. Justin Credible

Angle would be in TNA later this year so what does that tell you about their luck? He had been the big guy sent to ECW to make them credible which to be fair is a good idea since he was in ECW before he was in WWE if you squint really hard when you look at it. Also his personality fits for ECW so it’s not that much of a stretch.

Angle of course destroys Justin by throwing him all over the place and treating him like a video game character. Justin shoves him and Angle hits something close to the Tazmission to make him tap in maybe 90 seconds, which is somehow the longest match of the night, tripling the second place offering so far. No rating again obviously. He calls out Orton for a rematch at Vengeance.

We’ll wrap it up with, say it with me, another ECW reunion, this time under the TNA banner at Hardcore Justice 2010.

PJ Polaco vs. Stevie Richards

Richards has the BWO with them despite not being Big Stevie Cool here. The fans chant Polaco’s name (Justin Credible which I’ll be referring to him as) and then Stevie Richards. The fans want blood and an hour (almost) into it we haven’t had any. Justin hits a jumping spinning DDT which was one of his signature moves back in the day at least.

The fake Meanie is one of the Phi Delta Slam guys if anyone remembers them. He’s a security guard at times too. The matches here aren’t completely awful but this comes off as so low rent that it just can’t be taken seriously. And remember, this is TNA’s PPV offering this month. It’s not like the real PPV is next week or anything. This is it for August.

And That’s Incredible ends….nothing as Nova jumps up. Stevie Kick ends this in something that would NEVER have happened in the original company. The lights go out and Sandman is here to no music at all. White Russian Leg Sweep and Justin is back up before like a second. Cane shots put him down again.

Rating: D+. Not too bad here but the booking was just bad. I know Justin is crap but he was world champion for five months in the old days while Stevie was billed as a clueless putz. This didn’t work that well but it could have been FAR worse. Keep in mind that these grades are on an adjusted scale here as most of these would be fails or worse.

Justin Credible is a case where I just don’t get it. He never did anything for me in ECW and he never did anything for me anywhere else either. Justin’s entire style came down to flip a middle finger, do a bad looking move, yell at the crowd then start it again. I have no idea why that makes him a top star in the company, but that’s ECW for you. It’s also very telling that he did almost nothing of note but ECW reunions after the company folded.

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Today is a guy who I don’t think is nearly as bad as people say he is: Great Khali.

Funaki vs. Great Khali

Chop, big boot, Plunge and we’re done.

Here’s Khali’s showdown with Undertaker from Judgment Day 2006.

Great Khali vs. Undertaker

The gong gets a very solid pop as you would expect. Taker hammers away to start but gets nowhere at all. Scratch that as he gets sent to the floor. Khali tries the chop so Taker hammers away. And once again that gets him stuck on the floor. Nice job there dude. Cole turns into an Undertaker cheerleader as Taker gets a Stunner over the top.

You can tell this is a big match because Old School is countered. And of course, NO ONE has ever countered that before. I love revisionist history at time. Khali hammers away as well as he can, meaning this is really rather boring. Out to the floor again and Taker goes knees first into the steps. That looked painful beyond belief and people wonder why he wrestles like once a year anymore.

Back in and there’s the chop that killed Taker deader than dead before. Khali puts the foot on his chest and Taker kicks out. Of course he sits up and here comes Taker. Old School hits and Khali is staggering. Taker pounds away and hits the jumping clothesline to tie Khali up in the ropes. Fans are rapidly getting into this. Daivari gets up on the apron but the referee saves him. Khali gets untied and the chokeslam doesn’t work. A pair of chops sets up a boot to the head, allowing Khali to put his foot on Taker’s chest and get the clean pin. Now THAT is putting someone over.

Rating: D-. And the match sucked. Did you really expect anything else? The crowd is legit shocked as they probably should be. Khali was supposed to have various PPV matches with Taker but one time he was wellnessed and the second the company flat out said he wasn’t good enough to be on live PPV in a last man standing match so they had it on Smackdown with Taker of course winning. After that, he wound up as world champion so there we are.

And the slightly less worse rematch from August 18, 2006 on Smackdown. This was supposed to be at Summerslam but Khali was too horrible to be put on live TV.

Undertaker vs. Great Khali

Last man standing. Khali knocks him down to start but Undertaker wisely goes for the leg. A big boot knocks Undertaker out to the floor but he fights up with uppercuts from the floor. Undertaker comes back with a kick to the head of his own, followed by the apron legdrop and a triangle choke. Daivari goes after Undertaker with a chair, only to get chased up the set (in the days of the BIG FIST), allowing Khali to nail Undertaker from behind. Undertaker is sent into the set a few times before being tossed off the stage and through a table. He’s up at nine though and we take a break.

Back with Khali still in control and they head to ringside again. Undertaker gets hammered but says bring it on, only to be tied up in the ropes by the bigger giant. Khali fires off chops to the head to finally knock Undertaker down for another nine. Back up and Undertaker wins a slugout before clotheslining Khali out to the floor. They whip each other into the steps with Undertaker getting the better of it. He takes the chair from Daivari and pops him in the back with it as the monster is busted. Khali is up at eight so Undertaker blasts him in the ehad with the chair a few times and nails a chokeslam for the ten count.

Rating: C+. Thank goodness for editing. The match was much better than I remember it, even though it wasn’t really anything special. Khali looked like a monster that had to be slayed and Undertaker was always a good choice for it. The chokeslam at the end looked decent enough and the match worked better than it had any right to.

Next up, a match with Shawn Michaels because he can make anyone look good. From Raw, May 7, 2007.

Shawn Michaels vs. Great Khali

No DQ and the winner gets a title shot at Judgment Day. Shawn hammers away to start and gets Khali tied up in the ropes to a HUGE ovation. Not that it matters though as Khali kicks him in the face to take over. Lawler rightly points out that the referee shouldn’t have broken it up because it’s No DQ but no one cares about logic in WWE. Shawn finds a chair from ringside and nails Khali a few times to take over.

A top rope elbow drop looks to set up Sweet Chin Music but Khali catches it somewhere around his stomach. There’s the big chop and Khali chokes in the corner, followed by a very heavy clothesline. Shawn fights out of the Plunge and chokes a lot before nailing a baseball slide to knock Khali down. A DDT through the table is easily blocked and Khali throws Shawn through the table for the stoppage.

Rating: C-. There’s only so much Shawn can do when his big superkick can only hit Khali in the mid chest. Khali was a great choice for Cena to slay, even though the match here was nothing special. I’ll give them this though: they tried to do something and it worked about as well as it possibly could have.

Khali would face Cena twice in 48 hours, starting at SNME XXXIV.

John Cena vs. Great Khali

Cena is in his one year reign with the belt here and is obviously feuding with Khali. So they’re having this at One Night Stand…which is the next night apparently…so we’re having it here too. Even TNA isn’t this bad about repeating matches. Why did they even have these shows anymore? Khali is completely dominating here. We’re a minute in and Cena has had nothing.

Make that three minutes. Khali dominates even more and all of a sudden Cena has him up for the FU. It doesn’t work and then the chop and chokeslam…gets the pin with one foot? The idiocy of this astonishes me. The world champion just got freaking SQUASHED 24 hours before a PPV. Let that sink in for a bit. Ashley is ring announcer for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. THE WORLD CHAMPION just got SQUASHED in five minutes a DAY before the PPV. Why watch it now??? Why should I buy the PPV now? I know Cena is going to win, but why should I buy Cena as champion now? Apparently Khali needs 5 minutes to beat Cena, and while Cena won the next night, this was freaking stupid. I can’t defend this at all.

And now the second match, for the title, at One Night Stand 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Great Khali

Falls Count Anywhere and a very pro-Cena crowd here. Cena fires off some kicks to the leg but finally gets caught and the power gets going. This is pin only which is kind of weird. Khali uses his basic offense and that’s not meant as a criticism. I mean, he’s Great Khali and a giant. There’s no reason to not have him just do basic stuff to win is there? Big boot puts Cena down again as we haven’t left the ring yet.

Cena tries to speed things up again but Khali raises his leg like a leg lariat to take him down one more time. One arm slam and Khali walks around a bit. Cena avoids a leg drop and manages to get the Throwback out of nowhere. The top rope Fameasser is blocked by the chop though and Cena falls to the floor. That gets two in the first cover of the match. Cena gets in some punches but a low dropkick misses and it’s back to Khali.

In something you won’t often see, Cena’s head goes through a monitor but avoids the big chop. He does however get thrown into the crowd as the beating continues. Out near the production area Cena gets a monitor shot to the head but can’t FU Khali. The big dude gets a bunch of forearm shots to the back as Cena stumbles around a lot. Khali misses a charge and Cena throws a boom camera at him for a two count.

Cena actually gets him up for the FU but the elbows to the head slow it down almost immediately. And hey here’s a crane for no apparent reason. Khali throws him onto the thing and tries the Punjabi Plunge. Cena manages to rake the eyes though and there’s the FU on a crane. FLY FAT BOY FLY as Khali goes to the ground and the pin follows, keeping the title on Cena.

Rating: C+. All things considered, this was rather solid. Keeping Khali out of the ring and just letting him pound on people is always the best thing you can do and this was no exception. They had about as basic of a match as you can ask for here and that’s probably a good thing. Khali as the monster isn’t terrible at times and this was one of them. all this one a pleasant surprise.

Later in the month, Khali would enter a battle royal for the vacant World Heavyweight Championship. From Smackdown on June 20, 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Battle Royal

Batista, Brett Major, Brian Major, Chavo Guerrero, Dave Taylor, Chris Masters, Deuce, Domino, Eugene, Finlay, Great Khali, Jimmy Wang Yang, Jamie Knoble, Kane, Kenny Dykstra, Mark Henry, Matt Hardy, MVP, Shannon Moore, Funaki

It’s a brawl to start with various people fighting each other. Henry throws out the Major Brothers by himself and Khali sends Moore out a few seconds later. There goes Funaki at Khali’s hands as well and we take a break. Back with no extra eliminations until it’s Khali vs. Henry for the big showdown. Nothing happens though as Kane and Batista break it up, allowing the rest of the entrants to dump Henry.

Things slow down as the fans try to get behind Matt Hardy. MVP goes after Khali and walks into a big chop. Batista wakes up and dumps Deuce and Domino (the Smackdown Tag Team Champions) before Kane tosses Dave Taylor. Kane and Batista square off but Noble gets in between them, only to have both big men launch him out. Eugene gets the same treatment and the ring is rapidly clearing out.

We’re down to Kane, Batista, Khali, Hardy, MVP, Finlay, Yang, Guerrero, Masters and Dykstra. Kane NAILS Yang with a right hand to knock him down as Chavo takes Batista down with a cross body. The camera angles start getting all weird with closeups before Batista saves himself from elimination by Finlay. We take another break and come back to see Dykstra eliminated.

Guerrero goes to the apron and comes back in for no apparent reason as Matt eliminates MVP (his opponent on Sunday) to get us down to eight. Masters puts Yang in the Masterlock but Chavo makes the save for no apparent reason. The cruiserweights team up to put out Masters but Yang eliminates Chavo a few seconds later. We’re down to six as Kane and Batista go after Khali, only to get kicked away. Cue Hornswoggle for a distraction, allowing Finlay to eliminate Yang. Really? Yang warranted interference?

Khali chops Matt out and Finlay has disappeared. Batista and Kane get chopped as Khali stands tall. He poses too long though, allowing Finlay to come in with that club that I can’t spell. Kane loads up a chokeslam on Finlay but Batista spears both guys down and dumps Finlay. It’s Kane, Batista and Khali remaining with the biggest man quickly being knocked down. Batista and Kane fight near the ropes, allowing Khali to dump them both and win the title.

Rating: D+. This was long and the space between the eliminations got really annoying. Did we really need to have Jimmy Wang Yang in the final six guys? There was no one else you could put in that spot? Khali winning was a logical choice as he didn’t win the Raw Title but was still a big enough deal that the guy beating him would look like a conquering hero. Not the worst ever and I can forgive the length due to what was on the line.

Khali would hold the title for a few months before dropping it to Batista. Here’s their rematch at No Mercy 2007, in one of the truly unique gimmick ideas WWE ever had.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

Khali wouldn’t do much for the next year, but would get a title shot at Summerslam 2008.

Smackdown World Title: HHH vs. Great Khali

The Game is defending. HHH is a very tall man in his own right and is probably a foot shorter than Khali. The champion pounds away but has to stick and move to not get killed. That doesn’t blow HHH’s skirt up though so he tries the Pedigree. Khali easily grabs HHH and hits his Punjabi Plunge (two handed chokeslam finisher) but doesn’t cover. Instead he loads up his Vice (head squeeze) but HHH kicks at the long legs to escape. A chop block puts Khali down and out to the floor where his manager Runjin Singh tries to calm him down.

HHH, ever the bright guy, charges at Khali again and is chopped down with ease. Back inside and Khali pounds away with some elbows in the corner to drop the champion. The fans tell Khali that he can’t wrestle as he puts one foot on HHH for a cover. Off to a nerve hold by the challenger followed by a slam and legdrop. Back to the nerve hold for a bit before HHH fights up and hits the facebuster. It doesn’t put Khali on the mat but it does tie him up in the ropes.

Khali will have none of this being in trouble though as he lifts up his boot to kick HHH down before freeing himself from the ropes. Back up and HHH tries the Pedigree again, only to be backdropped out to the floor. A hard chop puts HHH down again and as they come back in there’s the vice grip again. HHH almost breaks the hold but Khali gets it back on for a few more seconds. A charge misses the champion in the corner and he FINALLY hits the Pedigree to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This match, while slow, was a great example of psychology in a wrestling match. HHH knew that there was only one move he could use to hurt Khali and give him a chance for the win so it was the only thing he tried for most of the match. This was HHH working around someone and it worked quite well as HHH is a very talented wrestler, which unfortunately is often forgotten. Easily Khali’s best match ever.

Khali would turn face soon after this and be on Shawn Michaels’ Survivor Series team in 2008.

Team HBK vs. Team JBL

Shawn Michaels, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme, Great Khali
John Bradshaw Layfield, The Miz, John Morrison, Kane, MVP

I think you can figure out the feuds yourself here. MVP and Mysterio get things going as all of the commentators are talking at once here. MVP is in the middle of a massive losing streak that would result in a face turn and I believe the US Title. Rey hits a quick rana and a clothesline for two before it’s off to JTG for a double dropkick. JTG hits a HARD right hand but MVP gets in a shot to the ribs and hits the Drive-By (running kick to the side of the head) for the elimination. Khali immediately comes in and chops MVP in the head for the elimination to tie things up.

Kane comes in for the staredown of the giants and Khali clotheslines him down with ease. Khali slugs him down and easily breaks up a chokeslam attempt. There’s the chop to the head and Rey climbs on Khali’s shoulders for the splash and another elimination. Off to Morrison who speeds things up. We hear about how great Morrison is from Striker, but unfortunately that chick Melina screwed up his future. Mysterio hits a quick kick to the head and it’s off to Shad.

Now Cryme Tyme vs. Miz/Morrison was a feud ahead of its time: their internet shows got in an argument and a wrestling feud followed. Shad misses a charge into the corner and it’s off to Miz. Since Miz isn’t quite the worker he is at this point, it’s back to Morrison very quickly. Shad runs over both members of the tag team and powerslams Miz down before hitting another overhyped elbow. Miz pops back up and hits the Reality Check (backbreaker/neckbreaker combo) to eliminate Shad.

It’s off to Shawn who comes in via a slow, dramatic step. He gets to face the Miz, meaning that entrance was wasted. To the shock of almost everyone, Miz takes over and double teams with Morrison to work over Shawn’s back. JBL, the slimmed down version, comes in to pound away and drop an elbow for two. Back to Miz who pounds away at Shawn’s bad eye, busting it open again.

Morrison comes in again to crank on a headlock and send Shawn over the top. Why would you turn your back when you throw Shawn over the top rope? At least Morrison jumps him when Shawn skins the cat. A forearm puts Shawn down and Morrison nips up in a little jab at HBK. Morrison misses the top rope elbow and it’s a double tag to bring in Miz vs. Mysterio. Rey hits a springboard rana into the 619 and the top rope splash puts Miz out.

JBL comes in and hits a hard shoulder to take Mysterio down. The crowd is WAY into Rey here. The fans think JBL can’t wrestle. The correct chant would be “You can’t work a style we like because we think that flying around and using a lot of moves is how a wrestler’s talents are determined because we don’t know what we’re talking about!” Off to Morrison with a European uppercut followed by a backbreaker.

Rey gets in a kick to the face but it’s off to JBL to hook an abdominal stretch with the leg being cranked on at the same time. Once Rey escapes, JBL uses something you don’t often see: a big boot to the back of the head. Rey blocks a belly to back superplex and hits a moonsault press to put JBL down and bust open his lip. There’s the tag to Shawn who hits the forearm and nip up of his own (take that Morrison) to send Bradshaw to the floor.

Shawn dives out to take Bradshaw out and loads up the superkick to send JBL running away. With JBL running away from the kick, Shawn slides back in and beats the count by one second, meaning JBL is gone via a countout. Morrison tries to superkick Shawn but Shawn is like boy these boots are older than you and kicks Morrison’s head off for the final pin and 3-0 final score for lack of a better term.

Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was kind of anti-climatic. They were trying to save the Shawn pin over JBL which was a good idea as they would have a solid feud in the next few months which resulted in Shawn being JBL’s lackey because Shawn was poor. The guys other than the captains in this didn’t do much of note but that’s kind of the idea behind a match like this. Not bad but nothing great either.

2009 would be a pretty bad year for Khali but he did have this match at The Bash.

Great Khali vs. Dolph Ziggler

This is a street fight for all intents and purposes. I love Runjin Singh. His sideburns have powers I think. Ziggler’s music is perfect. Actually make that perfection. Also he’s apparently moved from Hollywood, Florida to Hollywood, California. His look is great until his hair gets all puffy and then he looks like Curt Hennig which is a compliment.

Of course Ziggler gets beaten down early, including taking the chop that pinned Cena back in 07 or so but since Khali is a jobber to the stars now it’s just a regular move. Khali is just scary huge. I’ve seen him live and he’s massive. And then he chops the post to get himself in trouble. Dolph grabs a chair which is fine here and he wisely goes for the knee. At least he’s thinking.

We get the bowling shoe analogy about Khali and I roll my eyes. He’s 7’4 and 450lbs. What the heck are you expecting him to do? And here comes Kane for no adequately explained reason. Ziggler beats the tar out of Khali’s knee as Kane is coming and then Kane goes semi-Austin at Mania 17 on Khali. And then Ziggler gets the pin. This went nowhere.

Rating: D+. It’s your standard David vs. Goliath here and that’s all it was supposed to be. The key thing here is that Ziggler has a huge win by pinfall that in this match is perfectly legal. He’s never really gotten a big push, but he started feuding with Rey just after this so that’s something I guess.

We’ll jump way ahead to Raw on September 6, 2010 as Khali’s career is starting to fall quickly.

Edge vs. Great Khali

Edge goes outside to break the computer but the referee stops him. He makes fun of Khali like Hall used to make fun of Show. Edge wins by count out in about a minute. Total waste of time, but we have an e-mail. The GM doesn’t care so the match continues as an over the top rope challenge.

Back from a break and Edge sells the overhand chop really well. Khali steps over the top rope to the floor and nothing happens. Lawler tries to cover by saying you have to be thrown over. I love rule changes for the sake of rule changes. He steps over again but Edge grabs his leg, so this one counts.

Rating: N/A. Total waste of time here as it was just to give Edge what seemed like a difficult match. This went nowhere at all and wasn’t interesting as everyone knew Edge would pull it off somehow.

Another year off now as we hit Raw on September 5, 2011. Khali actually had a story at this point as his brother in law Jinder Mahal was forcing him to be evil to prevent him from shaming Khali’s sister.

Evan Bourne/Kofi Kingston vs. Jinder Mahal/Great Khali

They’re officially Air Boom. Justin Roberts told me so. This is non-title. Mahal vs. Bourne to start us off and Bourne tries to speed things up but gets caught in the face by a jumping knee. Lawler has to fight either Otunga or McGillicutty later tonight. Khali comes in and beats up Bourne for a bit and it’s back to Jinder. Bourne gets in a shot and there’s the hot tag to Kofi. He beats up Mahal but is sent to the floor by Khali. Khali sends Kofi back in but misses a chop, hitting Mahal instead. That sets up the Shooting Star for the pin at 3:15.

Rating: C. This match made perfect sense. The champions couldn’t hang against the two bigger guys physically so they used teamwork to escape with the win. I liked this and it’s cool to see a team thrown together actually working as a unit and having some chemistry. You can get good teams out of that and it’s working here.

Khali would be called upon to be a monster at Elimination Chamber 2012.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Barrett and Big Show start in the ring. Show runs Barrett over to start but Barrett gets him down for one. They go outside and Show gets rammed into the cage door twice. Wade goes after the knee but Show kicks him off. We get a statement from Lawler saying that if you’re knocked out (like Jericho was) that counts as a submission. Why do I have a feeling this won’t be enforced later? Show wants Bryan as the buzzer goes off but gets Cody instead. Show is standing there waiting on him and things slow down a lot.

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

Rating: B-. Better match with better drama, but at the end of the day this wasn’t that great. Khali being out quick was fine but I have some real issues with them jobbing out their heels AGAIN for the sake of a one off thing. Barrett was this evil violent and cunning man and he loses to Santino. The same for the longest reigning IC Champion in 8 years. And for what? A pop because they can’t put the freaking US Champion in there? Ok I’m shutting up before I go too long with this. Match was ok, but nothing great.

Another one off match from the live Great American Bash Smackdown.

Great Khali/Layla vs. Aksana/Antonio Cesaro

This is punishment from Teddy because he’s a sore loser. The guys start and it’s time for a chop in the corner to Cesaro. Khali misses a big boot and Antonio takes him down in the corner. Khali throws him aruond some more and it’s off to the girls. Layla isn’t exactly Trish or Lita but she’s by far the better in ring worker of the two here. Cesaro breaks up a cover and is thrown to the floor. Layout gets the pin at 1:45, and that means Layla pinned Aksana in case you can’t figure out that LAYla uses the LAYout and you can’t check the results below if you’re not sure.

Khali’s matches would start getting a lot shorter due to injuries. Here’s an example from Smackdown on February 8, 2013.

Great Khali vs. Titus O’Neal

Josh calls Khali a Hall of Famer, sending JBL into a huge rant about how we follow Bruno Sammartino with this guy. Khali chops him into the corner as Teddy and Booker are watching in the back. Titus pounds Khali down and hits a big boot to the head for two. Off to a front facelock but Khali shrugs it off and the big chop ends Titus at 1:34.

We’ll wrap it up with Raw, June 30, 2014.

Great Khali vs. Damien Sandow

Chop, pin, four seconds.

Great Khali is a guy who gets more flack than he deserves. No he isn’t great in the ring or anything like that, but what do you expect from a guy 7’3 and 420lbs? He’s a power giant and that’s all he should try to do. Just like every other giant in history, a lot of the mystique went away once he got beat and that’s to be expected. He’s never going to win the Lou Thesz Award, but people calling him the worst wrestler in the world completely miss the point.

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Today we’re looking at the best commentator of all time: Jim Ross.

Jim Ross/Steve Austin vs. HHH/Chyna

HHH jumps Ross before Austin gets here until Steve runs out for the save. The male wrestlers brawl up the aisle as Chyna, the #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title, beats on Ross in the ring. Austin suplexes HHH on the stage before they fight back down to ringside and into the crowd. HHH gets whipped into a barricade in the audience and they head out of the arena.

This leaves Chyna alone with Ross as the beating is on. A Pedigree lays Jim out but Jeff Jarrett comes out and nails Chyna with a toaster. This brings out Jarrett’s lackey Miss Kitty with a laundry basket, which Chyna is dropped into and taken to the back. Austin and HHH come back in to fight at a beer stand and HHH is left laying as Austin says he has a friend for HHH….and that’s it.

Rating: N/A. This was nothing and not a match for the most part. It was much more of an angle than anything else and a good way to combine the two big matches on Sunday into one. The best thing here was that Jarrett didn’t act like a face but acted as he should have for his story. That’s the kind of shade of gray you don’t get anymore but was a good thing back in the day.

Ross would get in the ring again to fight off Lance Storm and William Regal when they messed with the commentators. From Raw on December 23, 2002.

William Regal/Lance Storm vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Lawler starts (of course) with Regal but it’s quickly off to Storm for a headlock. Jerry avoids an elbow and nails a dropkick, allowing Ross to get in a right hand for two. Regal comes in off a blind tag and works over Lawler before the double teaming begins. Storm accidentally forearms Regal down and Jerry cleans as much house as he can.

The middle rope fist gets two on William and the referee goes down. Lawler hammers on Regal but a low blow puts him down. That’s enough for Ross who tags himself in and picks up Regal’s brass knuckles. Storm comes in from behind though, drawing in the Dudleys for a 3D on Lance. Ross knocks Regal silly for the pin.

Rating: C. The match was nothing of course but what are you expecting from these guys? The reason for the high rating is this was in Oklahoma City and one of the only times in history where Ross was made to look like a big deal in his hometown. Really fun and a feel good moment with the Oklahoma marching band playing Ross’ theme song after the match.

Uncle Eric Bischoff was required to bring in Steve Austin or be fired. Here’s his preview match on Raw, February 17, 2003.

Eric Bischoff vs. Jim Ross

Bischoff breaks some boards and a watermelon before the match to show how awesome he is. JR comes to the ring in his announcing clothes and Eric makes it no holds barred because he can. He looks at Morely as he says this to really hammer in the idea. Lawler is really worried but of course he stays seated.

Bischoff does some karate poses but gets punched in the face. Morely comes in to beat JR down and puts a cinder block against Ross’ head so Bischoff can kick it in half. This finally brings Lawler down to take Morely down, but a Bischoff distraction lets Morely take the King down. JR is busted open. More kicks put Ross down and Bischoff covers him with a half nelson for the pin.

Rating: N/A. This wasn’t wrestling. I’m not sure what it was, but it wasn’t wrestling. I’d like to point out that we’re spending the last segment of a show showing how Eric Bischoff could be a threat to STEVE AUSTIN. At least with Vince he would have some major backup, but Eric is going to have who? Morely? That’s supposed to be intriguing?

Another day, another threat to Lawler and King on commetary. From Unforgiven 2003.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

Another mismatch, this time from Raw in MSG on April 18, 2005.

Jim Ross vs. HHH

No DQ. HHH offers a handshake but Ross won’t go for it. Instead HHH nails him in the ribs and the beating is on. Ross actually nails a right hand to the jaw and Lawler goes into an even bigger cheerleader mode. HHH hammers away and yells at the referee as Ross is busted open. HHH rips off the Oklahoma jersey and it’s time for a whipping. Lawler FINALLY gets off commentary as HHH is choking with the belt.

Flair comes in and distracts Jerry, allowing a Pedigree to put the King down. Cue Batista in the back after having been sent on a chase by HHH or something. The brawl is on with the World Heavyweight Champion (Big Dave) cleaning house but Flair brings in a chair, allowing HHH to lay Batista out. The Pedigree is countered and a HUGE chair shot knocks HHH silly. Batista drags JR over and it’s a huge upset.

Rating: D+. Again not really a match but it gives more fuel to HHH vs. Batista II at Backlash. Batista was awesome at this point and the fans in New York ate him up. HHH was always one to put himself over, but he made Batista look amazing around this point. Ross winning was a nice smile.

Ross and Michael Cole would have a feud over Cole being a jerk, setting up this match on Raw, April 25, 2011.

Michael Cole vs. Jim Ross

Booker T is on commentary now which I believe is the 9th consecutive week that the announce team has changed during the show. Lawler gets up to be in JR’s corner. Ross is in dress pants and an Oklahoma football jersey. The seconds are on the apron instead of the floor. Cole makes fun or Ross’ weight and they circle each other a lot. A minute in and we’ve had no contact.

Cole, in his orange singlet, dances around a lot as Ross throws right hands. Cole hits the floor as we’ve had no serious contact after two minutes. Cole puts JR’s hat on then takes it off and stomps on it. Cole has a lot of tattoos. Swagger towels Cole off and he does some pushups. We’ve now reached the length of Sheamus vs. Kofi with no contact yet. Ross finally grabs Cole and shoves him down.

Cole calls for timeout and Swagger puts a stool in the corner. There’s a spit bucket and water. Cole actually tries to slam him so Ross hammers on him with some ground and…..with some ground and……no I just can’t say it. Cole tries to run and Lawler throws him back in. Swagger takes down Cole and then comes in for the DQ at 4:35.

Rating: F-. Oh just…..no. We get it: Cole is a jerk that everyone hates. This needs to END. It’s played beyond belief and I have a bad feeling that it’s going to keep going after Extreme Rules.

Here’s the in ring blowoff for the Cole feud, from Extreme Rules 2011.

Michael Cole/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler

Country whipping match here, which means they all have straps. Cole, I kid you not, is wrapped in bubble wrap. Ross has a legit broken hand after beating Cole up Monday. Cole gives us his resume as a reporter and insults all of Florida by saying everyone is old. Lawler vs. Cole to start as Lawler can’t hurt him. Lawler goes for the only unprotected part: Cole’s face. There goes the bubble wrap and it’s off to Swagger.

Basically this is Lawler vs. Swagger for all intents and purposes as they have a one on one match for a few minutes. Lawler gets him down but takes a chop block as he goes after Cole. Ankle Lock goes on for like 30 seconds as Ross WEAKLY hits Swagger to break the hold. Off to JR who puts an ankle lock on Swagger! Swagger escapes and I think accidently tags Cole. Ross wastes WAY too much time for a clothesline and whips Cole a bit. Ankle lock goes on Cole and even takes Swagger out with a low blow. He turns to whip Swagger….and gets rolled up by Cole to end it. Dang it this is going to keep going isn’t it?

Rating: F. Hey look, Cole wins again and gets to run his mouth a bit more. Not as bad as Mania but still, DO SOMETHING ELSE! This has been done and it’s been done multiple times already so why do they keep going with it? Cole can still be a jerk but give us SOMETHING for a change instead. Match sucked too.

We’ll wrap it up with JR in a tag match on Raw, October 15, 2011 in Mexico City.

John Cena/Jim Ross vs. Alberto Del Rio/Michael Cole

The announcers start us off and Cole talks a lot of trash until JR clocks him. Off to the wrestlers for a wrestling match. What a concept. Alberto and Cena smirk at each other and speed things up. The fans are booing Cena…I think. Off to a chinlock by the champ and the fans are cheering for Cena. Now it’s Cena with the chinlock as Josh says Cena weighs 251lbs. That means he gained 20 pounds since his entrance.

Del Rio takes over and we’re waiting on the hot tag to Ross it seems. Cole gets some pikes in at Cena and Del Rio gets two. Alberto hits a top rope shot to the head and some kicks. Cena can’t see Alberto. Back to the chinlock and the fans cheer Cena but aren’t really booing Alberto. The Mexican gets a German on the American for two. Cena fires off some stuff but a running enziguri in the corner stops him for two.

Alberto goes up but misses a senton back splash and Cena engages his finishing sequence. Del Rio runs from the AA and tags in Cole. Cena gives him kind of a belly to belly to bring him in and makes the hot tag to JR. Is JR a big deal in Mexico? I mean, wouldn’t he be on the English commentary team which most people in Mexico don’t hear? An AA ends Cole and JR gets the win with an ankle lock at 11:40.

Rating: D+. Man this was boring. The Spanish/English/JR thing is still confusing but again it’s WWE which at the moment is pretty stupid. I wasn’t into this match for the most part because it was just Del Rio vs. Cena and then a screwy ending. Not much to see here and another weak main event from Raw, which is becoming a tradition.

While I like Heyman getting in the ring, there’s just something wrong about Ross being out there. There’s something I don’t care for about it and I can’t put my finger on it. Ross is as much of a commentator as you can find but he’s far less of a character than most other commentators. Thankfully he never tried to wrestle and his appearances didn’t happen all that often.

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Today we’re starting a mini series in this series with Paul Heyman.

We’ll start with the feud that got Heyman on the map: Heyman/the Original Midnight Express vs. Jim Cornette/the Midnight Express. The short version of this is the team had changed members a few times and Heyman was bringing back two former members to fight the most famous version. This led to a six man tag at Chi-Town Rumble.

Midnight Express/Jim Cornette vs. Jack Victory/Randy Rose/Paul E. Dangerously

This was a pretty good angle with a pretty cool backstory. Ok so WAY back in the day, the original Midnight Express was Randy Rose and Dennis Condrey. They teamed for awhile (along with a third man named Norvell Austin) and were the original Midnight Express. They left Southeast Championship Wrestling where they got started and Condrey went to Mid-South Wrestling where he was put together with Condrey as the Midnight Express. This is the version that feuded with the Rock N Roll Express and is probably the most successful version.

Now here comes the interesting part. One day the Express was scheduled to go to California for a show. Condrey never showed up. No one is quite sure where he went but he wasn’t seen for years. One day he popped up in the AWA with Randy Rose and said they were the Midnight Express. At the same time, Eaton teamed up with Stan Lane to become the latest form of the Midnight Express.

So then the Midnights (Lane and Eaton) got crushed by the Road Warriors for the world titles. On TV one night Cornette got a phone call by someone making fun of them. Then Dangerously, Rose and Condrey ran out and it was Midnight Express vs. Midnight Express. Then Condrey left again and that’s why Jack Victory is here now. The feud never got as good as they were hoping but the Starrcade match was pretty great.

The person to take the fall here is gone and since Condrey is gone, is there any doubt as to who is taking the fall here? Lane vs. Rose starts us off and Rose goes sailing to the floor. Cornette comes in and drops an elbow so he can strut a bit. Off to Victory who doesn’t do well either so let’s try Rose again against Eaton. The good guys are dominating this. The heels mess up again and Dangerously clocks Rose by mistake. JR makes fun of it, saying it’s not like it hurt or anything.

Lane vs. Rose at the moment but it’s off to Eaton quickly. They go to the apron and Eaton goes crashing onto the railing to totally shift momentum. The railing is the old faithful way to change things. Dangerously comes in, pounds away a bit, ducks a right hand and runs away to bring Rose back in. Cornette wants Dangerously and the fans sound like they want to see it too.

Instead Rose gets his hands on Cornette and to his credit he takes a quick beating. Off to Dangerously now who is acting like a true heel manager, only coming in when his opponent is in trouble. Cornette gets in a single shot but Dangerously runs to Rose again. Jim finally gets in a tag to Lane who meets Jack Victory but Dangerously interferes to give the heels the advantage again.

The fans are all over Paulie here as Rose jumps to the floor to take Lane down again. Lane gets beaten on for a good while and is in a chinlock by Rose. There’s the hot tag to Eaton after some kicks to the ribs by Lane (his specialty) and a missile dropkick almost kills Victory. In a cool bit, Eaton walks Victory’s half out cold body over to Dangerously and grabs Victory’s hand to slap Paul.

Paul is dragged in to face Cornette and this is the part everyone has been waiting for. Cornette beats on him for a bit and it’s off to Lane vs. Rose again. Rose misses a splash but Victory saves the pin. Everything breaks down and a double flapjack is enough for the pin on Rose. That’s an old Midnight trademark so it’s cool to see that instead of the Rocket Launcher or cheating.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here and it’s always cool to hear that sweet Midnight Express theme song time and time again. The ending was never really in doubt and this eventually lead to Heyman becoming the top heel announcer a little bit after this. Still though it was a good match, although nowhere near the Starrcade one.

Here’s the next part of the blowoff, from Great American Bash 1988.

Jim Cornette vs. Paul E. Dangerously

This is a Tuxedo Match where you have to strip the opponent of the tux in order to win. It’s a men’s evening gown match in other words. This is a BIG feud as Dangerously had tried to copy Cornette’s every trademark but kept losing. All of Dangerously’s guys have been destroyed by Cornette’s so we’re left with this as the final blowoff.

Cornette throws a “punch” but gets powder thrown in his eyes. Paulie goes after the knee with his phone and both guys lose their jackets. Paul gets a punch to the….shoulder? More clothes come off as Jim makes his comeback. He can’t walk though so that doesn’t work that well. To the floor now and more knee shots from Paul. This is almost all Paul here.

Cornette freaking HULKS UP and Paul is in trouble. Caudle: “Let’s see some clothes come off here!” There goes the shirt…and down they both go. Well I’m glad they kept the momentum for that long. Paul goes for more powder, it goes into his face, there go his pants, they’re blue if you’re wondering, and he runs away as Cornette celebrates.

Rating: C+. Just a comedy match and nothing serious at all but it was fun and the right guy won it. Also Heyman being humiliated is always fun to see.

Now we’ll jump ahead to Great American Bash 1991 as Paul E. has run his mouth too much and is going to get beaten up in a cage match at Madusa’s hands.

Paul E. Dangerously/Arn Anderson vs. Rick Steiner/Missy Hyatt

Yeah there’s still this to go. Why is it here? To send the fans home “happy”. JR admits there’s almost no time left. Missy looks better as a brunette. This was supposed to be a six man with Scott and Barry in there, but Scott got hurt by Dick Murdoch and Dick Slater. Speaking of them, they come out to kidnap Missy and make it a handicap match. You know, taking away THE ONLY REASON THIS MATCH EXISTS! This is nothing as they don’t care and there’s no time left. Steiner suplexes Arn down and Paul tags in for no apparent reason. Anderson goes down, Paul gets slammed and clotheslined for the pin. Nothing match.

A year and a half later, same idea, same people. From Clash of the Champions XXI.

Paul E. Dangerously vs. Madusa

This has a five minute time limit. Paul wears headgear on for the match. Madusa charges into the ring and gets blasted with Paul’s phone off camera, knocking her out cold. Dangerously says he wants what everyone else in the locker room has gotten: a kiss from Madusa. He bends down to her but Madusa’s hair falls off, revealing Mike Thor from earlier. Madusa sneaks in behind him and kicks Paul in the back of the head.

A slam puts Paul down again and he tries to run. Madusa throws him back in but gets tripped up by Hayes. We’re under two minutes to go and Paul poses over her. A top rope ax handle has no effect on Madusa and she dropkicks him down. Madusa rips his clothes off and Paul runs away as time expires.

Rating: D-. This was a bad execution of a decent idea. The Mike Thor stuff didn’t really do anything other than eat up time and the match didn’t make Madusa look tough as much as it made Paul look inept. I see no reason not to have Madusa get a pin here and the humiliation route didn’t do much. This was also Paul’s last appearance in WCW as a contract dispute sent him running off to Philadelphia and ECW.

Now we jump ahead ten years to Judgment Day 2002 as Heyman is an accessory to a murder.

Hardy Boys vs. Paul Heyman/Brock Lesnar

Brock had debuted the night after Mania and he needed a first feud I guess. He’s been destroying people right and left so this is pretty much a given. Brock doesn’t even have his signature music yet. The Hardys jump Lesnar to do what they can earlier to get at Heyman. That lasts about 4 seconds as Brock just goes off on Jeff to start us off. Ross HATES Heyman here and the commentary is funny stuff.

Brock beats up both guys with ease as neither Hardy can do a thing with him. The fans chant for Goldberg. Trust me, you don’t want Lesnar vs. Goldberg. Heyman keeps orgasming over Brock every 2 seconds. Brock destroys Matt with ease as I guess we’re waiting on Jeff to come in. Matt gets a tornado DDT to break the momentum and make Paul terrified. There’s Jeff who hits the Whisper in the Wind and some double teaming puts Brock down for a bit.

Poetry in Motion hits Brock and Lesnar is sent to the floor. Heyman runs as fast as he can but gets caught in the ring by Matt. Poetry in Motion takes him down but Brock ends Matt. Brock stands in front of the Swanton so Jeff dives on him. In the words of Tazz, here comes the pain. HUGE F5 puts Jeff down and Heyman gets the pin.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here as the Hardys best stuff got nothing in there on Brock. They were there to make Brock look good and that’s what they did. Brock would be King of the Ring in the next month and therefore the #1 contender for the eventual Champion The Rock at Summerslam where he would become a star.

Heyman would help Brock defend the title at Rebellion 2002.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Brock Lesnar/Paul Heyman

Edge can pin either guy to win the title. Lesnar won the title at Summerslam and is the most mind blowing guy anyone can remember in forever. Edge is the hottest thing in the world though and this is allegedly his first title shot. Heyman of course looks terrified. He would turn on Brock at Survivor Series. Brock doesn’t want Edge to even look at the title.

Heyman channels his inner Cody Deaner and turns the hat around backwards. Brock basically tells Heyman to stay in the corner and let him handle this. This should be really good actually. Brock uses pure power to start but Edge out moves him. Brock is like screw this and charges, throwing Edge back into the corner.

Edge sends him to the floor and Brock chills for a bit. More or less Edge’s only chance is to use speed moves. Edge makes fun of Brock’s pose and Brock charges, flying over the top. He destroys some steps because he can. We hit the floor for a bit with Edge in control. Heyman grabs Edge’s foot so Brock can take over. Heyman goes insane, skipping around ringside and celebrating his triumph.

Never mind as Edge drops him almost immediately. Edge wants the Edgecution but Brock is like boy I’m Brock and suplexes him. Back to the floor again and Edge is sent into the post. Back in and it’s all Lesnar as he works on the back. Brock gets a freaky looking Boston Crab where instead of wrapping his arms around the legs he grabs them with his hands and pulls back. Never seen that before.

Off to a chinlock which doesn’t last incredibly long. Brock grabs him around the waist in more or less a reverse bearhug on the mat. Edge finally fights him off and has Brock in some trouble. Baseball slide drills Heyman again but Edge walks into a spinebuster to take over again. Lesnar charges in the corner and his shoulder goes into the post to give Edge a chance.

Edge speeds things up and hits an Edge-O-Matic (it’s that reverse X-Factor where he grabs the guy by the head and slams them into the mat back first) for two. Edge pulls Heyman in and apparently can pin him without him tagging in. Edge gets a dive off the top to the floor to take out Lesnar. Ok, why in the world would you do that when you could just roll up Heyman and get the title?

Back in the ring a missile dropkick takes down Lesnar for two. The fans are getting into this now. Cross body takes out the referee by mistake and the F5 is countered into the Edgecution (elevated DDT since no one but me uses these names anymore). Paul throws Brock a chair but Edge gets a spear out of nowhere for two. Edge comes off the top but jumps into a chair shot and the F5 ends this.

Rating: B-. The main issue here was that it ran long, going almost 20 minutes. Fun stuff for the most part but at the same time it needed to be a bit shorter to really make this work as well as possible. Edge looked good as did Lesnar. You have to keep in mind here that Edge wasn’t a main event guy yet and Brock was brand new to it. This would be almost like Miz vs. Kofi or something like that. Fun match though and it wasn’t boring at all.

Heyman would screw Brock over at Survivor Series 2002, setting up this match on March 6, 2003 on Smackdown.

Paul Heyman vs. Brock Lesnar

Oh and it’s in a cage to make it even better. Heyman has Team Angle with him and looks rightfully terrified. If Brock wins, he gets a World Title shot against Angle next week. Team Angle beats on Brock to start and sends him into the cage a few times. Brock fights back and sends both guys into the steel over and over. Haas and Benjamin are thrown to the floor as Angle guards Heyman. Lesnar goes after him and Kurt gets in a cheap shot, only to be sent into the cage.

Heyman gets sent inside and the bell rings. A bloody Kurt climbs into the cage and chop blocks Brock before nailing him with an Angle Slam. Paul gets two off of it so Angle puts Brock in the ankle lock. Brock is still able to get his hands on Heyman and kicks Kurt away but has to go after Heyman in the corner. He loads Paul up, kicks Angle in the face, and hits the F5 for the pin and the title shot. There’s not enough match to rate but it’s an angle instead of a match. Brock looked like a beast though and that’s the important thing.

We’ll jump ahead to ECW on Sci-Fi, with Heyman in singles action on August 29, 2006.

Paul Heyman vs. Sabu

It’s Extreme Rules. The security guards (the Bashams but I don’t think that was ever revealed on TV) jump Sabu on the way to the ring of course. Since this is ECW though Sabu beats up both guards who are in riot gear, but Big Show makes save #2 for Heyman before Sabu can, you know, kill him. Show CRACKS Sabu’s head with a chair as I’m sure you can get where this is going already. Sabu is busted already and the three guys not named Heyman beat him down with Big Show holding him so Paul can get in a shot.

We get out first table of the night (that has to be a record for ECW as the show is almost over) as Heyman dances around the ring and calls himself the Messiah. Show lifts Sabu up into a gorilla press position to put him through the table on the floor, but of course he holds him just long enough for RVD to come out for the save. Van Daminator takes down Big Show and it’s kicks for the Bashams.

Sabu finally gets his hands on Heyman and destroys him for a bit, even hitting the Arabian Facebuster. Sabu and Van Dam put Heyman on the table but Big Show pulls Sabu out of the air on the dive attempt. That’s always cool to see. Cue run-in #5 (I’ve lost count) in the form of Hardcore Holly. He hits the Alabama Slam to Van Dam through the table as Show hits that walking legdrop thing, giving Heyman the pin.

Rating: C-. This is more ECW’s style: a totally mindless and insane brawl with massive carnage. It was clear what they were going for as soon as they said Extreme Rules, but that’s ok here. They had to do something to keep this from being Heyman getting killed for eight minutes, and having all these people come out allows for more stories to be advanced. Not a good match or anything but it was fun in an insane sort of way.

We’ll jump ahead again to Night of Champions 2013 as CM Punk FINALLY gets his hands on former partner Paul Heyman.

Paul Heyman/Curtis Axel vs. CM Punk

No DQ and it’s under elimination rules. Heyman of course hides on the floor as the other guys swing kendo sticks at each other. Axel gets in a shot but Punk comes back with a series of his own to take over. Curtis gets knocked down and Punk dives through the ropes to get at Heyman. Paul is taken into the ring and put in a chinlock before Punk picks up the stick. CM takes too long though and a low blow drops Punk. Curtis pounds away and gets in some stick shots to the back.

The beating continues as Heyman does Brock’s bounce on the floor. The fans still want tables but they get chops and forearms from Punk instead. Axel hits a clothesline to the back of the head for two and it’s table time, making Curtis the most over guy in the arena for a split second. The table is set up in the corner but Punk blocks a suplex through the table, only to have Axel do the same. Axel takes Punk down again and we hit another chinlock.

Punk fights up and sends Curtis into a chair in the corner, knocking Axel to the floor. Back in and Punk hits his swinging neckbreaker and the knee into the corner. Axel rolls away before the Macho Elbow and gets in a chair shot for two. The lone boring chant is blocked out by a Punk chant as Axel gets two off a neckbreaker of his own. Heyman shouts that Axel is better than Punk as Curtis strolls around the ring. More kendo stick shots to Punk’s back get two but Punk counters the neckbreaker into the cutter into the GTS. The Anaconda Vice gets the tap out at 10:40 to get us down to Punk vs. Heyman.

Punk wisely keeps the hold on to knock Axel out even more before going after Heyman. Heyman slowly walks around the ring before running up the ramp, only to go into the crowd and back to ringside. Punk catches him in the ring and pulls on Heyman’s ears and nose. Punk gets the stick but Heyman hugs him. The smile on Punk’s face is rather creepy as he canes Heyman down. Heyman: “OH THAT HURTS!” Punk pounds away before calling for the GTS. He’s not ready yet though as he pulls out the handcuffs from his boot, just like Heyman used on him for the big beating a few weeks ago.

Heyman tries to tap out but the fans think this is awesome. Heyman begs for mercy, making it even better. Punk hits him very slowly with the stick and says to remember that it was him doing this to Paul. Heyman tries to tap with his foot so Punk promises to break Paul’s face. Cue Ryback to drive Punk through the table, slicing Punk’s back open in a scary looking visual. Heyman is placed on top for the pin at 1 5:56.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: Punk getting some revenge, only to have Heyman debut his new guy to give Punk a real challenge next month at Battleground. At the end of the day, Axel just isn’t competition for CM Punk and everyone knew it. Ryback isn’t a huge star, but he’s a much bigger deal than Axel and gives Punk a much better challenge. Good choice here and the perfect booking.

The feud with Punk continued at Hell in a Cell 2013, but first up is a warmup match on Smackdown, October 25, 2013.

Ryback/Paul Heyman vs. CM Skunk

You read the name right. This is No DQ as a preview for Sunday. Heyman says this will be a demonstration of the teamwork you’ll see inside the Cell on Sunday. Skunk comes out to Punk’s music and in a black hoodie but the fans quickly catch on to the joke. He has a skunk stripe painted into his hair. Ryback destroys him with the ease you would expect and hits two powerbombs in a row. Heyman pulls a kendo stick out from under the ring and hits about twenty shots to Skunk’s back. Shell Shock ends Skunk with Heyman getting the pin at 2:42.

Another chance for Punk at Hell in a Cell 2013. Yes this is a stretch.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

And there’s no Heyman. Ryback gets in the Cell before pointing towards the entrance where Heyman rides out on a cart. It’s actually a lift which takes Paul up to the top of the Cell with Heyman talking about how he’s risen from the depths and ascended to the top of the world. The fans are all over Paul as Punk pounds away on Ryback and knocks him out to the floor. Now the fans chant for CM after he hits a suicide dive to send Ryback into the Cell wall. It’s kendo stick time but Ryback drives Punk’s spine into the steel to stop him.

Ryback blasts Punk with the stick and takes him back inside to beat Punk down even more. Punk’s back is targeted with a reverse waistlock before Punk fights free and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. A forearm off the top puts Ryback down again and it’s table time. Punk can’t get it set up though and Ryback suplexes him back first into the Cell wall. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two more as we hit the reverse waistlock again. Punk fights out again and hits a spinning cross body for two followed by the running knee in the corner.

Some kendo stick shots drop the big man and there’s the Macho Elbow for two. More stick shots keep Ryback down and now the table is set up in the ring. It falls onto its side though, allowing Ryback to crotch Punk on the side. The Meat Hook is good for two but Punk hits him low to block the Shell Shock. Ryback lays on the table for no apparent reason, allowing Punk to drop another Macho Elbow for no cover. Instead a cane to Ryback’s head sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. If this had been a regular match it would have been fine, but it was inside the Cell which means it has a higher standard. Putting Heyman out of the match was probably the best idea, but there really wasn’t much to this that made me care. Punk beating Ryback in a hardcore match is nothing special, but it certainly wasn’t a terrible match. The Cell was a prop here though, which is what I hate about this show.

Post match Punk climbs up after Heyman while carrying the kendo stick. The beating begins and Punk wears him out before hitting the GTS to end the feud. Not exactly a huge spot but it’s as good as we’re going to get I guess.

Paul Heyman is a manager instead of a wrestler, but at the same time he’s a guy that is going to be able to talk a lot, get his client in trouble, then often take part of the beating to end the feud. That’s Bobby Heenan 101 and it’s never going to fail. He’s become one of the best managers of all time and the guy is just great.

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What does everybody want? Al Snow as Wrestler of the Day!

Undertaker vs. Steve Moore

Undertaker slowly hammers away to start and I think you can see what’s coming from here. There’s Old School and the Tombstone ends this quick.

Snow would head to SMW and stick around for several years. Here’s his TV Debut in February 1994.

Al Snow vs. George South

Snow is a very cocky heel here and calls himself Simply Sensational. Feeling out process to start until Snow hammers away, only to miss a charge into the corner. Snow comes right back and nails a nice slingshot legdrop followed by a springboard splash for the pin. That was a nice finisher.

Snow would form the Dynamic Duo with Unabom (Kane) after the match. Here they are on August 5, 1995.

Dynamic Duo vs. Matt Hardy/Jason Arnhdt

Snow and Jason get things going with Al hammering away before hitting a nice shwwlbarrow suplex. Off to Unabom (yes it’s spelled that way here) for a powerslam, setting up a superkick from Snow. Al misses a cross body and makes the tag to Matt (yes that) Hardy) who is launched into the corner. A clothesline/German suplex combo is enough to easily pin Hardy. Total squash.

Snow would head to the WWF as Avatar, something resembling a genie. Here’s a match from January 1996.

1-2-3 Kid/Sid vs. Avatar/Aldo Montoya

Sid and the Kid are part of the Million Dollar Corporation. It’s a brawl to start with a double flip clothesline putting the Kid down. Avatar wheelbarrow suplexes Kid for two before it’s off to the arm. Aldo comes in with a chop but Kid kicks Avatar’s head off to take over. The Kid finally gets over to the corner for the tag to Sid as house is cleaned. A chokeslam plants Aldo and the powerbomb is enough for Kid to get an easy pin.

Rating: D+. There was actually some psychology here if you can believe that. The idea of keeping Sid out is an idea that the Horsemen used whenever they were facing the Giant in the Dungeon of Doom feud and it makes a bunch of sense here. I can’t believe this was as good as it was, even though it wasn’t much to see.

Another of Snow’s gimmicks was Leif Cassidy, including this match at Summerslam 1996.

Tag Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. New Rockers vs. Bodydonnas vs. Godwinns

The heel Gunns are defending and this is under elimination rules. The New Rockers are Marty Jannetty and Leif Cassidy (Al Snow) and the Bodydonnas are Skip (Chris Candido) and Zip (Tom Pritchard). Skip is in a neck brace here due to a potentially broken neck but he’s wrestling anyway. The Gunns have Sunny who looks GREAT as a cowgirl. Billy Gunn starts with Henry Godwinn with Hank throwing Billy around with ease.

A wheelbarrow slam sends Billy out to the floor and it’s off to Phineas vs. Zip. After a comedic feeling out process it’s off to both Gunns at the same time. Zip and Phineas strut across the ring for no apparent reason as the Gunns freak out about having to fight each other. The referee says either make contact or be disqualified. After no contact, Bart tags in Zip so the crowd can have something else to be bored by. Jannetty trips Zip and Billy gets an easy pin so the Bodydonnas don’t have to be out there long.

Henry comes back in to crank on Billy’s arm but Billy quickly tags out to Jannetty. Marty slowly pounds on Henry and plays to the comatose crowd. Leif gets the tag but quickly brings in Billy to work over Henry. The Rockers have a miscue with the Gunns and Henry gets two off a side slam on Billy. Marty’s save results in an elbow drop on Billy as everything breaks down. Henry kicks Marty into Leif and hits the Slop Drop (reverse DDT) on Cassidy for the elimination.

We’re down to the Godwinns vs. the champions and it’s Bart in for the first time. Henry explodes out of the corner with a clothesline to put both guys down. Bart breaks up a tag attempt as this match is dragging terribly. Billy comes in and the place is so silent you can hear the insults between the wrestlers.

Back to Bart to pound away on Henry for a few moments before bringing Billy back in. Henry catches a charging Billy in a World’s strongest Slam and there’s the lukewarm tag to Phineas. He cleans house and everything breaks down with Phineas hitting the Slop Drop on Billy, only to have Bart blast Phineas from the top for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. This was so boring I could barely keep my eyes open. The tag title scene was so barren at this point that there were practically zero interesting acts at all. That would be the case for over a year when the New Age Outlaws FINALLY brought the division back to life for a few years. Terribly boring match.

Another match from In Your House XIII.

Marc Mero vs. Leif Cassidy

Cassidy doesn’t even get an entrance. Instead he slaps Mero in the face and gets taken down by an armdrag for his efforts. We hit the armbar for a bit with Mero in control but Cassidy fights up and shoves the referee before bailing to the floor. Leif wraps Mero’s leg around the rope but Sable goes after him, allowing Mero to come back with right hands. Back in and a slingshot legdrop keeps Cassidy in trouble with Mero shouting to stay away from Sable.

Cassidy comes back with a pair of dropkicks to the knee and Mero is in trouble. More kicks to the knee have Marc on the mat and Leif slaps on a leg lace. Mero’s knee is slammed down into the mat as the fans are starting to wake up a bit here. Back to the leg lock as Mero’s offense is stopped cold again. Mero finally reaches over and grabs a rope so Leif keeps stomping away.

The leg locks continue until Mero fights up and scores with an enziguri, setting up a rollup for two. Cassidy will have none of this being on defense and puts on a lame figure four leg lock but Sable helps Marc get to the ropes. Leif goes after Sable so Mero dives through the ropes to take him out. Back in and Marc rams him face first into the mat a few times before a Samoan drop sets up the Wild Thing for the pin.

Rating: D+. I didn’t hate the match and the psychology was working, but the execution was rather boring for the most part. This was more about pushing Sable as having more backbone and Mero being more protective of her, but I see no reason for this to have been on PPV. This could have been accomplished in half the time on TV which brings this down. Not a horrible match though.

It was off to ECW soon after this, including this match at Born To Be Wired.

TV Title: Taz vs. Al Snow

Snow is challenging and is on the verge of the push of a lifetime which would result in Heyman completely screwing up and not putting the world title on him because Shane Douglas must be champion forever in ECW. Snow rips into the fans for saying that he’s not Leif Cassidy (role he played in WWE) but Al Snow. The fans want Taz to murder Snow which is the norm for them most of the time.

After a long stall Taz takes it to the mat to take over. The fans want Snow’s neck broken. The champ cranks on the arm and does it again after Snow escapes. Snow tries to fight up and gets caught in an ankle hold. This is all mat stuff so far and it’s pretty good as well. After Snow bails to the floor he comes back in and is immediately caught in an Alabama Slam but he hits a kind of enziguri to the face of the champ to take over.

A suplex puts Taz down and the fans are still all over Snow. Taz is like screw this wrestling stuff and takes Snow down to pound away, but Snow rakes the eyes. Now Taz is like screw this brawling stuff and suplexes Snow down. Snow slams him down and fires off some kicks but gets pounded in the face for his efforts. Taz comes back with a German suplex but walks into a suplex from Snow. That gets no sold and it’s the Tazmission to retain the title.

Rating: C+. This never quite clicked as they were didn’t seem quite sure what they were going for as Taz kept switching from wrestling to brawling. Maybe that’s what they were going for but it didn’t quite work. Snow as a guy completely hated by the fans because he used to be in the WWF worked fine and it worked even better when he turned into the psycho head shaking guy. Not terrible here but it was your usual Taz match from this time period. The mat stuff was good though.

Snow would get that mega push soon after and main event Wrestlepalooza 1998.

ECW World Title: Al Snow vs. Shane Douglas

Shane is defending and is badly injured coming in. He takes the huge brace off his arm, leaving it only with a bunch of bandages over it. They trade chops to start until Snow goes for the bad arm. Shane quickly bails to the ropes so Al punches him in the face. Al goes up top but Francine pulls him back down. They head outside for more brawling with Snow sending him into the barricade.

Back in and some shoulders get two for Snow but Shane dropkicks him down and puts on a chinlock. Shane lets go and sets up four chairs in the middle of the ring. Snow gets powerbombed through two of them for a near fall as the fans try to rally behind him. He comes back with a DDT but has to deal with Candido.

Shane grabs the belly to belly for two and Al has new life. He has to go and take out the Triple Threat again before getting two off a high cross body on Shane. The locker room comes out as the Snow Plow connects for two. Francine comes in and takes a Snow Plow as the Freaks take out Candido and Bigelow. Snow goes up for a top rope sunset flip…..and Shane sits down on it to retain the title.

Rating: D. The match was watchable but the booking was horrible. This match was basically a love letter to Shane Douglas from Paul Heyman as all night long we heard about how Shane was coming in at less than 100% and how he’d be going away for surgery after the match. What makes it worse is that’s absolutely true. From what I can find, Shane would wrestle one tag match between this show and September, meaning the title just wasn’t defended in that span of time.

As for Snow not getting the title, there’s more of a case for that making sense. Snow was officially under contract to the WWF at this point and was being called back to work there, so putting the title on him didn’t make sense if he was about to leave. However, Snow would wrestle another month or so for ECW and put a bunch of people over. This begs the question of why not put him on top for a quick run and then give the belt to someone else.

The argument against this idea would be that it makes the reign seem worthless. While this is true, history is shown that this really doesn’t mean much. Look at Mick Foley’s first WWF Title reign in 1999. Yes Foley dropped the title in less than a month, but the moment was absolutely perfect and is still very fondly remembered over fifteen years later. Snow winning the title would have been the same idea: it had been built up so strongly that the loss completely deflated the fans.

That’s the final problem with this decision. The fans are basically told to never get behind someone because the company is going to crush them at their biggest moment. As a fan, why should I care about someone for a long time after Snow? This broke their spirits and took away all the energy they had going into the match. That’s something you never want to do, especially when the reward was about eight months off.

Snow would be back in the WWF soon and have a match on Raw for his job, September 21, 1998.

Al Snow vs. Sgt. Slaughter

This is a boot camp match, which basically means a street fight. Before the match Snow does the questions about Head. If Snow wins he’s reinstated but if he loses he’s gone. Sarge jumps him and rips off Snow’s shirt as Cornette says that Snow is as crazy as a rainbow trout in a carwash. Snow comes back with a superkick and a slingshot into the post. Snow has Slaughter’s belt and whips the Sarge’s back and they go to the floor.

He gets a chair but his swing hits the post. A chair to the back of Snow gets two on the floor. Snow shrugs that off and hits something like Poetry in Motion up against the railing. A moonsault off the barricade only gets two. Cornette is just great on commentary, snapping off all kinds of analysis and insane things but staying entertaining the entire time. Snow goes up top with the chair but as he moonsaults with it, Sarge moves and Al hits canvas. Cobra Clutch goes on but Snow escapes. He breaks it up again with a low blow and Sarge takes off his boot. That goes nowhere and a shot with Head gets the pin for Al.

Rating: D. This was nothing but a way to finally give Al a reason to be around every week, even though he has been for like four months. Sarge is only so interesting and it was pretty clear that he wasn’t going to win here. I like Snow but this did nothing for me for the most part and that’s not a good thing.

Snow would quickly find his niche in the Hardcore Title hunt. Here he is in a title match at In Your House XXVII.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Bob Holly

The title is vacant coming in due to the champion Road Dogg being injured. The brawl is on to start with Snow scoring with a quick chair shot. They head into the crowd with Snow in control until he gets slammed down onto some steps. Holly blasts him in the face with a fire extinguisher and breaks a glass jaw over Snow’s head, only to be sprayed down by the fire extinguisher as well.

They head backstage with both guys being thrown into doors until Snow pelts a trashcan at Holly. Bob comes back with a beer case and they fight outside where it’s 40 degrees at most. Holly is rammed head first into the side of a truck and they head over to the fire lane with Holly breaking a no parking sign over Al’s back. Snow seems to be laughing as Holly gets two. They head over to a wall and then a fence with Snow shouting at Holly for turning on him by leaving the J.O.B. Squad.

A stop sign to Snow’s back knocks him onto the banks of the Mississippi River but Al knocks him into a wheelbarrow. They fight over to some trees and closer to the water with Holly hitting him in the head with something made of metal. Snow comes back with some kicks and choking on the dirt before Holly is thrown into the water to fire up the fans in the arena. Holly comes back by sending Snow into a tree before Snow comes back with shots to the kidneys. They slug it out even more with Holly wrapping him up in some chain link fence for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is one where you individual taste may vary widely either way. The match was definitely more of a spectacle than a contest which is fine, but if that’s not your thing then you were going to hate this. These two would have more and more of these insane fights which were very hit or miss. It wasn’t bad but it was only for certain tastes.

And another match at In Your House XXVIII.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly is defending. They’re on the floor almost immediately with Snow being sent into the steps. That’s close enough to actual wrestling so they head into the crowd for the real meat of the match. Back to ringside with Snow getting two off a moonsault from the apron. Snow finds a hockey stick under the ring and breaks it apart to blast Holly in the back. Snow got busted open somewhere in there.

Holly gets beaten on with the stick for a few moments until Snow brings in a table. He takes too long setting it up though and Holly gets in a shot with the hockey stick. They head to the aisle where Holly gets two off a suplex. The fight goes into the back with Snow being rammed into various metal objects. Holly finds a well placed kitchen sink which is destroyed against a wall instead of Snow’s head.

They go out to the parking lot with Holly setting off a car alarm when he’s rammed into a hood. Snow finds a broom to break over Holly’s back and walks him over to some steps back into the arena. Holly throws him over the ledge into a dumpster and follows in with a splash for two. They head back to more cars before fighting into the production truck with Snow throwing him out the door and onto the top of a car for two.

Snow accidentally kicks the window so Holly can punch him back into the arena. Holly whips him into a metal sheet and they head back into the arena where Snow hits him with a frying pan for tow. Hardcore avoids going through the table with a frying pan shot of his own before superplexing Snow through the table. The referee counts to nine until Holly drapes an arm over Snow for two. Snow crawls over to the corner and grabs Head so he can knock Holly unconscious for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. Lawler sums up the match as soon as it’s over: “After all that, the Head did it?” That’s the problem with something like this. After all the carnage and weapon shots, including frying pans and that great table spot, it was a mannequin head that got the pin? That’s a bit of a stretch to put it mildly. Also way too long here as this was nearly sixteen minutes.

Snow would be in a Tag Team Title match at Survivor Series 1999.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Mankind/Al Snow

The Outlaws are defending. Ross accuses Billy of being the driver but Lawler doesn’t care at all. Mankind says Austin will get through this. Gunn and Mankind get things going with Billy getting two off a neckbreaker. We hit a sleeper like a minute in and then we look at the Head. JR and Jerry are arguing again as the guys in the ring go to the floor, making them guys no longer in the ring.

Roadie accidentally hits Billy in the face and it’s off to Snow vs. Road Dogg. JR talks about Snow having his action figure pulled off the shelves at Wal-Mart because some stupid professor said that having a severed head included in a toy would send the wrong message to her kids about violence to women. This is going to be a quick sidebar.

First and foremost, it’s not a severed head. It’s a mannequin head and simply LOOKING AT THE THING would tell you that. Second, if you’re concerned about what kind of impression a toy would give to your kids, either A, don’t buy it for them, or B, tell them why you don’t like it. Heaven forbid you have to tell your kid he can’t have something he wants because you deem it inappropriate. Third, and this is the part that I like best, Snow mentioned in a promo that clearly the stores care about their customers because they pulled the figure from the shelves, but the guns, bullets and knives are still on the shelves.

Anyway, now that the people who can’t think before they run their mouths and have to decide how people should live their lives because apparently people aren’t smart enough to make decisions for themselves are out of the way, let’s get back to this dull match. Mankind pounds on Roadie in the corner and hits a running knee to the head. Snow pokes Road Dogg with a chair in the ribs which isn’t a DQ for some reason. Neither is the shot to Road Dogg’s back from Mankind.

Mankind hooks a reverse chinlock back in the ring followed by a lot of stomping in the corner from Al. Mankind gets two off a knee lift as things continue to go slowly. Snow hits his headbutts but Road Dogg fires off some lefts and a big right to take Snow down. Everything breaks down and the crowd is DEAD for this. They head to the floor with the Outlaws taking over.

Snow gets beaten on for awhile before clotheslining Roadie down and it’s not hot tag to Mankind. Mankind pounds away for a bit but gets caught by the Fameasser for two. Snow hits the Snow Plow on Road Dogg and here’s Socko. Both Outlaws get Clawed but they both hit Mankind low to escape. Snow hits Billy with Head to give Mankind a two count, followed quickly by the Outlaws hitting a spike piledriver on Mankind to retain.

Rating: D. This got better at the end but the twelve minutes before that were way too dull to be considered good at all. Mankind and Snow were there to fill in spots and while that’s ok, it doesn’t make for an interesting match. It didn’t help that the crowd was deader than Billy Gunn’s career for most of the match. Nothing to see here.

Here’s another tag match from Wrestlemania 2000.

Head Cheese vs. T&A

Snow brings out Chester McCheeserton, which is a guy in a cheese suit. Snow: “This is better than Shawn on a zipline.” That would be Test and Albert (Tensai) with the brand new Trish Stratus as their manager. Test and Blackman start as JR’s mic goes out. Test gets kicked down quickly but it’s off to Albert who hits a quick splash in the corner for two. Snow comes in for a few seconds but it’s quickly back to Steve for a running shoulder which takes Albert down.

Snow comes in again sans tag with a slingshot legdrop to the back of Albert’s head. Blackman breaks up a gorilla press attempt from Albert to give Snow two. Head Cheese double teams Albert as the fans are dying faster and faster by the minute here. Chester annoys Trish as Blackman drops a knee on Albert’s crotch. Off to Snow who gets caught in a suplex, allowing for the ice cold tag to Test.

T&A his a double powerbomb on Snow as JR calls it bowling shoe ugly. Snow hits an Asai Moonsault on Test before the modified Trash Compactor (backbreaker by Blackman/guillotine legdrop from Snow) for two on Test. The match breaks down even more as Albert hits a gorilla press on Blackman before a top rope elbow by Test gets the pin.

Rating: D-. Anything with Trish in an outfit that small can’t be a failure, but at the same time this match absolutely sucked. There was NOTHING good going on here and they weren’t just on different pages, but rather in different libraries. This was absolutely horrible and one of the worst Mania matches ever.

Snow would become a bit more serious near the end of the year and win the European Title. Here’s a defense from Smackdown, October 5, 2000.

European Title: X-Pac vs. Al Snow

X-Pac is challenging and Head is dressed as a vampire for Halloween. William Regal is on commentary and complaining about Snow making a mockery of the European Title. Snow nails a spinwheel kick and hammers away in the corner, only to get kicked in the face right back. Snow comes back with right hands and a moonsault gets two. Head gets involved but Snow is sent to the floor. Regal tries to interfere but Billy Gunn sneaks in and lays out X-Pac, giving Snow the pin.

Snow would take a good deal of time off to film Tough Enough. We’ll pick things up on Raw, October 21, 2002.

Al Snow vs. Tommy Dreamer

Singapore Cane match. We start with a cane duel and Snow gets in the first connecting shots to the legs. Out to the floor and Dreamer fires away more cane shots but Snow headbutts him down. Back in and Dreamer kicks Al low, followed by a missed cane shot from an interfering Nowitski to give Dreamer the pin. Nothing to see here.

Snow would start wrestling less around this time and do some commentary on Heat. This led to a battle of the announcers (because those work SO well) and this match at Unforgiven 2003.

Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler vs. Al Snow/Jonathan Coachman

The winner to do the announcing for Raw. Yes, they asked people to pay $34.95 for this. There’s no commentary for this. I think I can get by without the extra jokes somehow. The wrestlers start and Lawler kind of botches a rollup. Ok then. The lack of commentary is weird here but then again I’m watching Ross and Coach on PPV. You can hear them shouting at each other a lot better which is weird to hear.

That might be Ross’ big mouth though so there we are. Snow “hits” a clothesline and I say that in the weakest sense of the word hit. Snow, being younger and better at this point, dominates as we’re just waiting on the other guys to come in and make it a comedy match. Coach is the team captain apparently. Oh dear. There’s the piledriver on Snow and JR does commentary from the apron. The foot gets to the ropes but Snow sold that like he had an anvil fall on his head so I can’t complain there.

And it’s Coach time, which has even Snow wondering what the heck he’s doing. As usual, Lawler’s offense is shall we say limited? The middle rope punch hits but Snow makes the save. Ross gets a blind tag and the referee is fine with it I guess. He beats up Coach for awhile and I see why he stayed in the booth for his career.

Coach keeps shouting not in the face which is funny. And here’s Jericho to kick Ross in the head and let Coach and Snow become the Raw announcers tomorrow. Ross would beat Coach in 8 days to get the sanity back. Jericho says this is to get back at Austin for no apparent reason.

Rating: F. Seriously, do I need to explain why this going on for 8 minutes was a bad idea? It was mainly Al Snow vs. Jerry Lawler and someone thought this was a good idea. Here’s the thing: no one really cares about announcers in a national company. Wait scratch that. They do care about them, but only the way they sound. We don’t want to see them in the ring other than a once a year match from Lawler in Memphis. That’s it. Now stop doing this nonsense.

Snow would basically retire from the WWE ring soon after this but return as an old gimmick on Raw, April 12, 2004.

Tajiri vs. Shinobi

Shinobi is Snow’s old ninja gimmick and is here as part of Coach’s feud with Tajiri. If Tajiri wants to fight Coach at Backlash, he has to win here. The ninja is just called a ninja here but it’s the same gear and character so we’ll go with Shinobi. They trade wristlocks to start before Tajiri fires off some kicks and the handspring elbow. He goes for the mask but gets kicked in the back of the head. Shinobi slaps the referee in the face and Coach breaks up the Tarantula. The Snow Plow is countered and the Buzzsaw Kick is good for the pin.

Rating: D. This was an angle instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately that’s about the extent of stuff that wasn’t wrong here. The match was dull and given that Coach has no friends, the identity wasn’t that hard if you knew what to look for. Bad match, even though I like Tajiri.

Shinobi is unmasked as Al Snow post match.

Snow wouldn’t wrestle much after this other than a few appearance on ECW on Sci-Fi not important enough to include. He would become an agent in TNA but would occasionally wrestle, including at Hardcore Justice 2010.

Brother Runt vs. Al Snow vs. Rhyno

Runt is Spike Dudley of course and is nearly bald. This is elimination rules and better not break 8 minutes. Spike hits a dive that is ok after some basic stuff. He plays the role of the pinball of course and I still wonder what Snow has to do with this. Snow hits the trapping headbutts on Rhyno. TNA guys are watching in the back. Why they’re here is beyond me because they’re not wrestling.

Acid Drop to Rhyno is blocked and this needs to end fast. We’re on the floor again and you actually can’t see due to the lighting. The referee goes down and Head drills Rhyno. Spike does the Eddie chair thing by slamming the mat with it and throwing it to Rhyno. He and Snow do the same thing so they’re all down. Oh my head hurts. Acid Drop ends Snow and then the Gore ends the whole thing.

Rating: D. I like Snow but this was just bad. There’s a reason these guys retired: THEY AREN’T THAT GOOD ANYMORE. Rhyno is ok at best and he’s the biggest star by far in this. At least he won I suppose, but this was just random as all goodness with no point at all. Well at least it’s over and wasn’t that long.

We’ll wrap it up with Bound For Glory 2012, where Snow is facing Joey Ryan. Ryan had been on Gut Check but didn’t get Snow’s vote. He tormented Snow for months so here’s his chance at a job.

Al Snow vs. Joey Ryan

Ryan hides in the corner to start and the fans want Head. Snow is in workout clothes instead of wrestling gear. Snow gets down on all fours and lets Ryan get in a free chance to start. That goes about as well as you would expect for Ryan and he hides in the corner again. This is a good choice for putting on after the big street fight that just happened. It’s a way for the fans to calm down a bit.

Ryan keeps trying basic offense and Snow stops him at every turn. A delayed slam puts Joey down and Snow takes him to the mat with a headlock. Ryan gets in a shot to the ribs and a suplex for two. Snow comes back with the trapping headbutts and grabs Joey’s chest hair. Snow takes him down again for two and the fans want Head. And that’s what they get from under the ring. Ryan shoves the referee down and steals the Head for a makeout scene. Snow ties Joey up in the ring skirt….and here’s Matt Morgan to Carbon Footprint Snow into next week. Ryan gets the easy pin at 8:28.

Rating: D+. This was about what you would expect from Al Snow in 2012. The Morgan twist was fine and a pairing between him and Ryan could be interesting, as if nothing else Ryan could use a bodyguard. This was the ending they had to go with and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially with faces being undefeated in the first hour.

Al Snow is a good example of a solid hand who never got above the midcard. He was a solid trainer though and can have a watchable match with anyone. That’s a very valuable hand to have and his hardcore stuff set him apart from a lot of the guys in wrestling that were talented but never did anything. Given how long it was before he got over on a major stage, he had quite the career.

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Here’s a guy who is better than you would think. Today is Mike Knox, currently known as Knux in TNA.

Maven vs. Mike Knox

Knox shoves him into the corner to start but gets caught in an armbar. Off to a hammerlock as commentator Al Snow is very proud of his student. A dropkick stops Mike’s comeback and we hit another armbar. Knox sends him into the buckle and gets two off a neckbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. A nice spinwheel kick gets two for Maven and he nails a middle rope bulldog. Maven heads up top for a missile dropkick and the pin.

Rating: D. Maven gets less impressive every time I watch him. There’s just nothing to him and he never has anything worth watching. To be fair though he was a glorified rookie at this point who didn’t have enough experience to do anything significant in the ring. Nothing to see here and Knox was just a jobber.

He would head to the big company full time in 2005 and start in Deep South Wrestling. However, that company is REALLY hard to find video of, so first up in WWE was ECW on Sci-Fi, including this match on July 4, 2006.

Mike Knox vs. Little Guido

Knox says Kelly is his so we don’t get to see her. The fans chant at him as they should. Guido jumps him to the pop of the night. He hits a dropkick to the side of the head but a second attempt misses, allowing Knox to take over. The fans want pizza and think Knox can’t wrestle. Knox goes into an EXTREME series of bodyslams as the fans think this is boring. Guido tries to get something going but gets his head kicked off and the spinning downward spiral ends this.

Rating: F. This match, if it wasn’t already, proves that ECW is dead. Guido was a big deal (kind of) in ECW, but here he’s a jobber. You know, like everyone that isn’t one of the top ECW guys. And to Mike Knox? The most generic of generic big men ever? They were going off on him here. Imagine what he would have gotten in the ECW Arena. But this is the new ECW, where the fans mean nothing and the ECW Originals are a stable 8 months from now.

Knox would appear on the December to Dismember PPV with his girlfriend Kelly Kelly.

Ariel/Kevin Thorn vs. Kelly/Mike Knox

Kelly dated Knox apparently and at this point is an exhibitionist and AWFUL. I mean she’s ridiculously bad so we get Knox and Thorn. Knox has no beard at this point and is somehow more worthless than he was before. Oh dang it they’re letting him talk. Oh good Kelly is talking instead. She likes Punk, who gets a chant. That chant didn’t happen though. No one likes Punk. What people want is HARDCORE HOLLY AND TEST!!!

Thorn is a vampire and Ariel is a fortune telling gypsy or something. She would become Salinas in TNA in case you’re more familiar with them. This is a freaking disgrace. I’m glad no one bought it as it makes things seem a bit better. No one cares about this either as since both girls can’t wrestle we more or less have a Knox vs. Thorn match. And here they are. At least Kelly looks hot. Kelly tries to get the tag to Knox but he leaves. Note: the fans chant for Punk to come make the save. To make sure it’s clear: Punk is WAY over. Sandman makes the save instead which gets a nice pop.

Rating: D-. Kelly looking hot is the only reason this passes. I just want to get to the end of this.

Knox would stop meaning much after the early story. Here’s a match from ECW on May 20, 2008.

Mike Knox/Layla vs. Colin Delaney/Kelly Kelly

Layla beats up Kelly to start but gets headscissored down to the floor. Back in and a cross body gets two on Layla with Knox making the save. Knox LAUNCHES Colin out to the floor, allowing Kelly to hit the K2 for the pin on Layla.

Oddly enough, Knox would get a pretty solid push later in the year, including a spot in the Raw World Title match in the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out 2009.

Raw World Title: Kofi Kingston vs. John Cena vs. Kane vs. Rey Mysterio vs. Mike Knox vs. Christ Jericho

Cena is out first to a pretty decent pop and is the reigning champion coming in. This is easily the high point of Knox and his beard of awesome. Kane is your jobber of the day here as he’d never win a world title right? Now we get to the meat of the match as Kofi comes out and Edge jumps him, taking his place in the match. I’ll get to the big problem with this at the end. Also the winner is pretty clear now isn’t he? A Conchairto ends Kofi and Edge jumps into his pod.

Rey comes down to help Kofi as Jericho is out so we’ll start with them. They already had that epic feud over the IC Title so there’s automatic history here. Both guys fight for control and Rey can’t get a 619. Rey gets a flip over the ropes and the beating is on. Rey takes a HARD shot into the glass. Mysterio steals the Spiderman spot from RVD and gets a rana and seated senton to take over.

Kane is in third and goes right for Rey. Jericho tries to jump Kane and it gets him nowhere. Rey fights with what he can but there’s only so much he can do against a guy the size of Kane. Rey manages to get both of them in position for the 619 but Kane pops up to stop him. Rey, the superhero that he is, manages to get the big man down and get the area code move (he’s screwed if that ever changes). Jericho adds a Codebreaker for no cover as Lawler is criticizing them too. A seated senton off the top of a pod gets rid of Kane. Was there a need to take out Jericho first though? Anyway Kane is gone.

In fourth is Knox who is evil because he felt like being evil. There was something so refreshing about that and I loved it. He doesn’t really have a point to beating on Rey. He just kind of likes it. Simple but effective. Jericho sends him out to the cage but the springboard cross body doesn’t work at all. Rey gets caught in a Tree of Woe in the cage which is kind of a cool visual.

Knox is a generic big man but he does the job pretty well. He tries to set Rey for his finisher back in the ring but Jericho grabs a Codebreaker for the pin to get us to the final four. That one I can understand as Jericho had an opening and Mike had one arm free instead of two so it was more taking an opening rather than saving Rey. Anyway Edge is in fourth.

Rey goes right after him and the beating is on. Jericho gets both guys down and can kind of pick his spots. Lionsault to Rey gets knees and an Edge-O-Matic gets two on Jericho. Spear misses Rey and the Codebreaker misses Edge. Jericho stops the 619 to Edge for no apparent reason other than hatred of Mysterio I suppose. Tower of Doom spot as Jericho gets a sunset bomb on Edge out of the corner as Edge hits a release German on Rey, who is more or less dead.

Here comes Cena and Edge does his best Vince imitation as he turns around to meet him. Cena goes off on everyone but mainly focuses on Edge. Various moves take down just about everyone as Cena is ALL fired up. Five Knuckle Shuffle to Edge as it’s all Cena. FU to Edge is blocked by a Codebreaker to Jericho. 619 to Cena sets up the spear from Edge and CENA IS GONE!!! Edge is totally shocked that he finally pinned Cena.

It’s Rey vs. Jericho vs. Edge once the match gets going again after more or less stopping cold after that. Rey sets for a 619 to both Canadians but Edge gets out of the way. Jericho grabs the Walls but is rolled up by Rey to get us down to one on one for the title. Spear eats turnbuckle and Rey gets a rollup for two and a BIG reaction from the crowd which is totally into this.

Rey gets that soccer style kick to the side of the head for another long two. The announcers talk about the show vs. show thing which is rather stupid but we’ll just go with it as they insist it’s a big and important thing or whatever. Rey gets his fourth long two off a tornado DDT. Rey goes for some kind of a springboard move but Edge kicks him in the face to put him back down.

Powerbomb on the cage can’t hit as Rey counters into a facejam on the cage. FREAKING OW MAN! Rey modifies the 619 to kick Edge in the back of his head. In a SICK spot, Rey charges at Edge but gets launched into the air and into the glass which he literally bounces off of. FREAKING OW MAN PART DEUX THE SEQUEL WITH MOST OF THE ORIGINAL CAST GONE AND A WEAKER STORY THAT IS RIDING ON THE NAME OF THE ORIGINAL! Spear ends it as Rey is mostly dead already.

Rating: A-. Another great match here, but this is what I hated about it that I mentioned earlier on: Edge was distraught about losing his world title two and a half hours ago so he goes out and wins another. What could have been a big devastating loss for Edge that gave him something to do for a few months as he tries to get the title back is thrown away as he now has the OTHER world title and is just fine for it. It makes it seem like the world title is easily replaceable which isn’t what it should be at all. Anyway, the match was very fun and the crowd was into it the whole time, making this an excellent match.

After falling back down the card, Knox was rarely involved in anything major. Here’s a tag match from Smackdown on September 4, 2009.

Finlay/Great Khali vs. Mike Knox/Kane

Kane is all psycho and evil here (no really) and has a Singapore Cane match coming up with Khali at the PPV. Finlay and Knox get us started with Finlay being dropped face first on the buckle. Kane misses the clothesline and it’s off to Khali, sending Kane running away. Khali puts the Vice Grip on Knox who bails to the floor. We take a break and come back with Khali clotheslining Kane down and chopping him in the corner.

Back to Finlay vs. Knox with Finlay hitting the running earthquake drop for two. Apparently Finlay is afraid of Knox for some reason. Finlay is sent shoulder first into the post and it’s off to Kane to work over the arm. Knox works on an armbar followed by a crossbody of all things for two. Back to Kane who gets low bridged by Finlay. Khali has to save his brother/manager Runjin Singh and in the distraction, Finlay hits Knox with the shillelagh for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t really work and was longer than it needed to be. Knox vs. Finlay was a feud but it was barely explained here. At least with Kane he’s naturally evil and therefore it’s easy to plug him into a story. Other than that there wasn’t much here and the match wasn’t that interesting as a result.

Knox would leave the WWE soon after this and head to TNA after a year on the independent circuit. He would appear as part of the Aces and 8’s biker stable, but wouldn’t be identified for his first few major matches. Here’s a showdown with World Champion Austin Aries at No Surrender 2012.

Austin Aries vs. Arm Breaker

This is non-title of course and Aries is in workout clothes instead of trunks. Before the match, Aries talks about this being a war which is fine with him, because Aries is the God of War. Aries calls out the big man but he won’t let the masked man in. He does the HBK laying on the top rope to sucker the Arm Breaker in. The champ pounds the guy down and hits the suicide dive.

Back inside Aries pounds away some more but gets crotched to give the Arm Breaker the advantage. The Arm Breaker keeps pounding away and takes over even more on the champ. This isn’t a match mind you as there’s no referee and the bell never rang. A clothesline spins Aries around and the Arm Breaker loads up a powerbomb but Aries throws powder in his face. A dropkick sends the Arm Breaker to the floor and Aries dives out onto him.

The Arm Breaker gets in a shot and grabs a chair, but back in the ring Aries hits him with a roll of coins and the brainbuster. Aries goes for the mask but here comes the gang. The locker room empties out and it’s a big brawl. In case you care, the fight ran just under ten minutes or so.

Knox would be one of the two members of the Aces and 8’s team at Bound For Glory 2012.

Aces and 8’s vs. Sting/Bully Ray

Sting and Ray both have facepaint. Aces and 8’s have theme music now. They bring out Joseph Park who looks a bit near death. There are two members here, one in a plaid t-shirt and another in a black one. We’ll call plaid shirt #1 and black shirt #2. This is No DQ and a brawl starts on the floor. Sting fights #1 and Ray has some issues with #2. #2 seems to be the taller of the two.

Sting gets sent into the announce table as the fans chant for Bully. Sting and Ray double team #1 and the fans want tables. The Stinger Splash hits the barricade as it has all but one time that I can ever remember. #2 and Sting start in the ring with Sting in trouble. Off to #1 who hits a clothesline for two. Park is chained to the barricade at ringside. #2 hits another clothesline for another two on Sting.

A bit boot gets another two and Ray is starting to play cheerleader. Sting makes a fast comeback and tries the Scorpion but #1 breaks it up. A suplex is countered by Sting into the Death Drop but Sting doesn’t cover for some reason. Double tag brings in #2 and Ray with Ray cleaning house. A middle rope shoulder takes #2 down and the fans are way behind Ray. Ray double clotheslines them down and a splash gets two on #1.

#1 brings in a chair but Ray hits a big boot to stop the shot. A third Aces and 8’s guy, pretty clearly Wes Brisco, comes in and hits Ray low. Park gets spat on and breaks the chain off the barricade. He comes in and destroys the third guy before beating him up the ramp. The match breaks down and #2 gets caught in a Doomsday Device. Double splashes crush #2 in the corner again and it’s Table Time with Sting playing Bubba’s role. Ray gets the table but #1 pulls Sting to the floor. Another member of Aces and 8’s comes in and spinebusts Ray through the table to give #2 the pin at 10:51.

Rating: C. Not much of a match here but the point is that Aces and 8’s won. How this makes anything any different is beyond me but this story hasn’t made much sense in the entire time it’s been running. Hopefully we’ll get some more to this tonight because if this is it, then it’s going to feel flat. The match was pretty much fine.

He would eventually be unmasked and nicknamed Knux as a play on his old name. Knux would try to get some revenge on Chris Sabin for taking Bully Ray’s World Title on Impact, September 5, 2013.

Knux vs. Chris Sabin

Ray is at ringside and is already distracting Sabin. Sabin’s headlock is easily countered by the powerful Knux so Sabin wants a test of strength. Chris suckers him in and wisely goes after the knee with some dropkicks before wrapping it around the ropes for another dropkick to the knee. Knux easily slams Sabin down and stops Sabin cold with a big boot.

Sabin is catapulted throat first into the bottom rope for two and we hit the neck crank. A belly to back suplex puts Sabin down again and a middle rope legdrop gets two for Knux. Knux misses a running crotch attack into the ropes and hurts his knee again. Sabin hits a missile dropkick so Ray sends in the hammer to Knux, only to have Sabin intercept it and knock Knux silly for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: C-. This was somewhat better than I was expecting but the ending better be part of a bigger angle. Sabin was world champion about three weeks ago and now he’s losing to Knux? It was a decent big man vs. little man match though this was a nice surprise given what I was expecting.

We’ll wrap it up with Knux returning as a carnival owner in what is definitely a new character. From Impact on May 8, 2014.

Kazarian vs. Knux

The Menagerie is a carnival themed stable comprised of Knux, his good looking sister Rebel, two men on stilts, Crazy Steve (a clown) and the Freak (a masked muscle man). Kaz jumps Knux from behind to start but is easily thrown down. He does score with a top rope missile dropkick and a kick to the jaw but stops to yell at Crazy Steve. Kaz turns around and runs into the Freak, allowing Knux to throw him back into the ring. A Sky High powerbomb is enough for the pin on Kaz at 2:16.

Mike Knox is a guy who wasn’t much to see but he’s gotten better once he put on some muscle mass and shaved his head. He’s decent as a power enforcer and can fill in the roster of a stable well enough and that’s not the worst job in the world to have. His matches aren’t great, but he can be a decent tag or six man guy.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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In OVW, he was called Brock Lesnar Times Ten. It’s Bobby Lashley.

Bobby Lashley vs. Simon Dean

Lashley is in white here and it’s his PPV debut. This is a rematch from Lashley’s first match which was two days ago. Lashley throws him around but misses a corner charge. Dean throws hamburgers at Lashley and then hits him with the metal tray as the ref is distracted. That doesn’t work at all and Dean is thrown into the corner. They try to do a cool power spot where Dean is sitting in the corner while holding onto the top and having Lashley pull him out by his feet to catch him in the Dominator. The problem is Lashley can’t hold him up so he falls backwards and hits a regular Dominator to win it. Total squash.

Since one opponent wasn’t enough, here’s another match against two people at Armageddon 2005.

William Regal/Paul Burchill vs. Bobby Lashley

They have to tag. No real story here other than Lashley needs villagers to eat. He’s beaten both of them in one on one matches so this is the next challenge. Burchill starts and that doesn’t go well at all. Bobby pulls Regal in also and beats them both up with ease. Regal gets a kick in and cheats a bit on the floor. Just a bit though so don’t judge him. The British dudes use their technical stuff as we’re just waiting on Lashley to take over. Top rope knee gets two for Burchill. Lashley wakes up and mauls them both, ending Burchill with a Dominator.

Rating: D+. Just a squash here that was there to give Lashley a chance to look awesome. Granted Burchill and Regal didn’t mean anything at this point but the beating looked good. Lashley wouldn’t ever become the superstar they were hoping for but nice try at least I guess. No idea why this was on PPV though. Easily could have gone on Smackdown.

Lashley would make it to the finals of the 2006 King of the Ring, with the finals taking place at Judgment Day 2006.

King of the Ring: Booker T vs. Bobby Lashley

Booker beat Matt Hardy and got a bye to get here. Lashley beat Mark Henry and Finlay. Booker gets shoved down to start and they circle each other. I mean they circle each other A LOT. Lashley takes over with power shots and Booker can’t outmove him. A shoulder hits the post though and Lashley crashes to the floor. We go into the slowdown stuff here as Booker takes over on the arm.

Lashley fights back with a clothesline and stands around a lot. Sharmell interferes which gets them nowhere so they do it again and Booker takes over. Bookend gets a long two. This is rather boring stuff. Powerslam gets two for Lashley and the fans get WAY into it all of a sudden. Spinning heel kick sets up the axe kick for two. Lashley gets the spear but here’s Finlay with the club to Lashley’s head to let Booker hit the Bookend for the crown. He would win the title next.

Rating: D. I didn’t like this one at all for the most part. They felt like they were in the beginning of the match the entire time and it never worked for the most part. A D might be a bit low but at the same time I wasn’t thrilled with it in the slightest. It never got going at all and the whole thing was carried by Booker to say the least. At the time I never got the point of having Booker win but he was by far better at this point and in the long run it turned out to be the right move I think.

Five days later, JBL issued an open challenge for the US Title. From May 26, 2006 on Smackdown.

US Title: John Bradshaw Layfield vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley throws him around to start but gets kicked in the face. Some right hands in the corner have Lashley in trouble but the Clothesline From JBL is countered with a spear to give Lashley the title.

After losing the title, Lashley would be in the main event of No Mercy 2006 for a World Title shot.

Smackdown World Title: Booker T vs. Lashley vs. Finlay vs. Batista

No tagging here. Cole talks about the numbers and JBL replies with this gem. JBL: “QUIT WITH THE MATH!!! I count money you moron!” Batista goes after Booker as Finlay throws Lashley to the floor. Finlay hooks up with Booker as Cole keeps talking about percentages. Lashley back in now and he throws Finlay to the floor. Batista is down in the corner. Spinebuster gets two on Booker.

Finlay pulls Lashley to the floor and a double teaming begins. Back in and the double team is on Batista until Finlay double crossed Booker. JBL freaking out is great but Cole is just awful at giving him stuff to play off. We’re down to Finlay vs. Booker with the pale one taking over. Lashley tries to get in but Finlay casually knocks him away. Booker is knocked to the floor so Finlay works on Big Dave’s arm.

Batista hits a Samoan Drop but Finlay hangs on. Cool. Lashley comes in but Finlay takes him down too. Cole calls Finlay Lashley because they look so much alike. Half crab to Lashley but Booker superkicks Finlay down for two. Booker takes Batista down with another sweet kick for two. Big Dave sideslams him down for two. Their one on one match is over as Lashley clotheslines Booker to the floor.

Finlay brings in a chair but Lashley kicks it away. Horny comes in to low blow Lashley and the club to the head gets two for Finlay as Booker saves. Everyone gets in for a bit and Batista hits a Jackhammer to take Finlay out so it’s face vs. face. Batista is like screw fighting and spears him down for two. Lashley comes back and somewhere (even Cole isn’t sure where) Batista gets his head busted open.

Batista gets thrown to the floor as does Finlay but Booker comes in with a Bookend for two. Just the two of them in the ring now and Bobby counters a suplex for two. Booker doesn’t know what to do here so he takes his hair down. Finlay breaks up the ax kick and gets two. Batista hits spinebusters on everyone and a Batista Bomb to Finlay. Lashley spears him for no apparent reason, allowing Booker to steal the pin on Finlay.

Rating: B-. Not bad here at all with the formula working pretty well. I like the four man matches much better than three man as you get more combinations out of it. Booker winning was obvious but it was still good enough at times. Finlay was really impressive here as he ran most of the match, which is what he’s great for.

Lashley would be sent to ECW soon after this and be involved in the Extreme Elimination Chamber at December to Dismember 2006.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.

Holly is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.

They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. Quite a shame that he didn’t have a chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.

Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.

Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is so stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in a FREAKING MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.

The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.

Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.

Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.

He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.

Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.

A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here. He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.

Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.

The first major title defense was at the 2007 Royal Rumble.

ECW Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Test

Lashley won the title in December and Test is the warm body that he gets to crush in his first major defense. There’s a video package for this which is basically both guys beating up RVD to show how awesome they are. Test powers Lashley back into the corner so the champion comes out with a spear to take over again. Now Test tries to choke, so Lashley suplexes him down. Nice to see them sticking with the same formula. A delayed vertical suplex puts Test on the floor and the champion follows him.

Test sends Lashley into the barricade to take over and we head back in for a chinlock. He shifts into an armbar and hits a Stunner onto the arm for two. Lashley fights out of trouble and backdrops Test before hitting a three point stands shoulder in the corner. He tries a slam but the arm gives out, allowing Test to fire his one big weapon, the big boot, but it only gets two. Lashley pops up with a clothesline to send Test to the floor….and he walks out for the countout.

Rating: D. They needed to protect TEST? Seriously? Lashley doesn’t get to pin TEST clean? The match was dull stuff in the first place before a stupid ending like that. Lashley did what he could out there but Test was as much of a worthless musclehead as you could possibly ask for at this point.

Lashley would be Donald Trump’s representative in the Battle of the Billionaires in the biggest match of his career at Wrestlemania XXIII.

Bobby Lashley vs. Umaga

The barber’s chair gets its own entrance complete with some snappy music. Oh and Umaga is IC Champion. Trump coming out to a song with the only word being MONEY is perfect. Real money rains down from the ceiling, including $100 bills. To be fair this show brought in like 50 million dollars in PPV alone so they can afford a bit. They collide to start and slug it out with Lashley pounding him into the corner. Austin pulls Lashley off of Umaga since they’re in the ropes and Umaga gets in some shots of him own. Lashley goes up to the middle rope for a shoulder for two.

Umaga’s manager Armando Estrada is dragged in by Lashley and powerslammed down with ease. Lashley throws him out to the floor and low bridges Umaga to send him to the floor as well. Back in and Lashley misses a spear, sending him out to the floor this time. We head inside again and Umaga chokes away, only to be pulled off at four and a half by Austin. Austin has to do it again, this time by the hair for good measure.

A BIG clothesline puts Lashley down again and Umaga cannonballs down onto his chest for good measure. The Samoan drop puts Lashley down again as does a failed slam attempt. Vince gets up on the apron and gets dropped down by an elbow from Lashley, only to walk into a shot from Umaga to take over again. Umaga goes up and gets slammed down before being clotheslined down. Both guys down and Austin gets to nine before stopping so it doesn’t end in a draw.

Shane McMahon comes out to check on Vince as Umaga hits an uppercut to drop Lashley again. Austin has to pull Umaga out of the corner, earning him a Samoan Spike. Shane comes in and pounds away on Lashley until Umaga is back into things. The running hip attack crushes Bobby’s face and Vince throws in some trashcans. Shane hits the Coast to Coast to drive the can into Lashley’s face. A top rope splash from Umaga crushes Lashley and Shane has a referee’s shirt on now.

Austin breaks up the pin and beats up Shane for good measure, only to walk into another Samoan Spike. Trump isn’t sure what to do and shows off those great acting skills of his. Vince comes over to taunt him and TRUMP CLOTHESLINES VINCE! Umaga tries another Spike on Austin but gets countered into the Stunner. The spear from Lashley connects and it’s time for Vince to be bald.

Rating: D. This match sucked for the most part until Austin got going. The problem at the end of the day was no one on the planet with any idea what was going on here thought Vince was going to win. It also didn’t help that no one cared about Lashley because no one had ever given us a reason to. He was just kind of there for the most part and there was nothing more to him than he used to be a college wrestler and he’s muscular. Seriously, that’s Lashley’s story almost in full.

Post match they take FOREVER to Stun Vince and cut his hair. Austin Stuns him because that’s what Austin does to Vince. To their credit though, they SHAVE his head, not just trim it. Vince’s face during this whole thing is great as he goes from shock to the patented Vince rage in a few seconds. This led to three months of Vince/Shane/Umaga vs. Lashley which didn’t work for the most part. Austin, Lashley and Trump share beers and Trump gets Stunned. I’ll give the guy this: he has a soft spot for wrestling. He hosted two Wrestlemanias, was in the crowd for two more and did this.

This launched a feud with the McMahons, who took the ECW Title from Lashley via some shenanigans. Here’s Lashley’s rematch at One Night Stand 2007.

ECW Title: Vince McMahon vs. Bobby Lashley

Umaga and Shane are with Vince here. Since he’s in it, this is a street fight. Lashley tries to dive on Umaga to start but messes up completely, landing only a kick to the head of the now dead Samoan. Shane tries to punch him and that just fails, leaving Vince all alone with Lashley. Joey tries to make it sound like Lashley is standing up for ECW, even though Heyman probably gets physically ill at the thought of Lashley working for ECW.

He fights off the trio as well as he can at first but the numbers catch up with him when he tries to bring in a chair. Vince gives his first offense, a clothesline, to take Bobby down. Vince’s hair is back now so at least the bandana is gone now. Out to the floor as this is a very slow beatdown which is going nowhere at all. Vince gets the timekeeper hammer and chokes Bobby with it instead of, you know, HITTING HIM WITH IT?

Back in the ring and a Samoan Drop takes Lashley down again. So riveting indeed here. Maybe it’s because Vince and Shane aren’t wrestlers and therefore shouldn’t be in the ring with a guy like Lashley? Vince gets one of the worst spears I’ve ever seen to Lashley for two. Umaga chokes away to waste more time but misses a splash, crushing Vince instead.

Lashley starts cleaning house, sending Umaga to the floor via a low bridge and suplexing Umaga over the top. Big chair shot to the head of Vince and many more to the back follow. Dominator powerslam only gets two as Umaga makes the save. Bobby gets another chair but Umaga gets a superkick in to take him down again. There goes the crowd as that totally and completely should have been the ending.

Instead, the McMahons and the Samoan take over again because that way they look like supervillains again. Shane drops the big elbow through the table (OH YEAH!) and everyone is down. Umaga wakes Vince up and gets a long two on him. Joey freaks out but it just feels wrong here. Umaga hits the running smash in the corner and Lashley is done. Shane tries the Van Terminator but drills Umaga by mistake. Spear to Vince gives Lashley his title back.

Rating: D+. Match more or less sucked because Vince and company dominated for the vast majority of it. They proved why Vince being in a mach did nothing but they were trying to give Lashley a rub I guess. Either way, there really was no point in waiting for this show to do the title change again, but either way not much here and WAY too long. The first comeback should have been it.

Lashley would be moved to Raw soon after this, meaning he couldn’t be ECW Champion. Instead, he would be put into the Raw main event scene and have a showdown with Cena at Great American Bash 2007.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Bobby Lashley

They fight over a lockup to start and Cena is shoved into a corner. Lashley takes him down with a test of strength but Cena comes back to booing. He’s been champion for ten months here so the fans aren’t that thrilled with him. Lashley takes over with the power game but Cena counters into an STFU attempt so Lashley runs. Basically this is a chess match as both guys try to get ahead but neither is being very aggressive.

Lashley grabs a release t-bone suplex for two. He might be bleeding just a bit. Cena gets whipped into the corner and a delayed suplex gets two. Cena grabs a suplex of his own out of nowhere for a very delayed two. Lashley gets a modified gutbuster to mess up Cena’s ribs and it’s down to a body vice. JR and King turn into idiots by saying they can’t remember any opponent with Lashley’s amateur credentials challenging Cena.

Cena fires off a pair of ProtoBombs and the Shuffle for two. FU is easily escaped and a powerslam gets two. Lashley hooks a torture rack and then drops him into what we would call Shock Treatment. Out of nowhere Cena hits an FU but can’t cover. Lashley’s spear attempt is countered into the STFU and the place pops. Weird crowd man. Lashley FINALLY gets a rope and this is getting good.

John complains to the referee about….something, and walks into a BIG spear for two. The fans are way into this too. They go to the corner and Lashley loads up something that appears to be a superplex, but Cena counters into a somewhat weak FU off the middle rope for the pin. That ending came out of nowhere, kind of.

Rating: B+. It’s an excellent match and they were getting close to the heavyweight slugfest format but they weren’t able to get there with it ending like that. It needed a lot more near falls. Anyway, the match was good, although Lashley never really reached this level again afterwards. He would be “injured” by Kennedy 8 days later and hasn’t set foot in a WWE ring since as far as I remember.

As mentioned, that would be it for Lashley in WWE but he would show up in TNA in about two years. Here’s a big match from Bound For Glory 2009.

Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Lashley

Hey look it’s another non-traditional one on one match as this is a submission match. Joe is in the Mafia here and Lashley is the MMA guy so this actually makes sense for once from a gimmick match perspective. Lashley has taped up ribs for some reason. Ah ok Rhyno jumped him on Impact. And yet he’s fighting Joe here. Well of course he is.

Joe might be a bit slimmer here but it’s hard to tell as the tattoo on his face takes away from his face a bit. Naturally we get the JOE’S GONNA KILL YOU chant because he’s a heel. Lashley hits a SICK spinebuster and goes after the arm. The problem with wrestling today is that with the advent of MMA and how fast people tap to holds it’s a BIG stretch to have people survive like 30 seconds in arm bars and leg locks.

Suicide dive to take out Lashley as Joe is far more popular than he’s supposed to be. Joe works the ribs as we’re told about the work he’s done on Lashley’s ribs recently. Thanks for talking about that in his entrance rather than Rhyno there guys. Abdominal stretch goes on as Taz is actually helpful here with his submission knowledge. Quick powerslam by Joe as he’s wildly over here.

Lashley blocks part of an armbar and gets some ground and pound in to HUGE boos. A full nelson slam from Lashley takes Joe down and we’re back to even. Lashley is REALLY bad on offense with some of the worst strikes I’ve ever seen. Joe thankfully takes over and beats the tar out of him. And then Lashley gets an STO (reverse stroke for you non-WM 2000 and No Mercy fans) into a side choke for the win. Joe blacked out or something.

Rating: D. They were trying for the MMA thing here and it just didn’t work in the slightest really. Lashley was just not that good at making what he’s capable of really doing look fake if that makes sense. This just didn’t work for me at all as it came off as sloppy and Lashley trying to get one big move in which he did. I’m not an MMA guy so I’m the wrong audience I guess, but this didn’t work at all for me.

Another from Final Resolution 2009.

Scott Steiner vs. Bobby Lashley

Last man standing here as Steiner had hit him with a pipe last month in their match to end Lashley’s unbeaten streak. Kristal, the wife, is thrown out before the match. Steiner goes after her and Bobby chases. Bobby catches Steiner and does nothing. Steiner drills him and we start on the floor. Back in the ring now and it’s a T-Bone by Bobby to take over.

Dragon sleeper goes on as Steiner is in trouble. Since Lashley lets Steiner go, that isn’t enough to end it. Scott’s leg may be messed up here. Out to the floor and Lashley hits him with a chair. Steiner hits him with a pipe and down goes Lashley. Naturally a lead pipe to the head by a huge muscle man like Steiner isn’t enough to keep him down though as he’s up at 7.

Lashley goes into the post and then the steps. Back in the ring and Steiner gets a downward spiral from the top rope (Lashley’s feet were on it and Steiner was on the mat) for 9. Belly to belly suplex off the top (with Bobby landing on his head and Taz making a Cole Vintage joke) gets about 8. Steiner jumps into a suplex of his own Powerslam for Bobby gets two and a Frankensteiner gets the same. The pipe is retrieved but Kristal comes down to steal it. A spear and a pipe shot from Steiner end this.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t much at all as Steiner was pretty uninteresting at this point to say the least. Lashley would be gone in a month as he became a full time MMA guy and didn’t exactly do that well at it. Boring match here that was more or less just there. At least this ended the feud though. The Lashleys would turn heel on January 4th to no one really caring.

Lashley would bail soon after this and not be back for over four years. However he would quickly be back in 2014 and almost immediately in the title picture. Here he is in a title shot on Impact, June 19, 2014.

TNA World Title: Bobby Lashley vs. Eric Young

Young is on his own while King and MVP are in Lashley’s corner. A clothesline puts Lashley to the floor and a big cross body off the top puts Lashley down again. Back in and Eric’s cross body is caught in mid air but he rolls Lashley up for two. A HUGE backdrop puts the champion down again and Eric is sent to the floor. Back from a break with Eric in trouble and getting suplexed down with one arm.

The champion makes his comeback and gets two off his third cross body of the match. Lashley stomps him in the corner but misses a charge, only to come back with a kick to the ribs. Eric nails the piledriver out of nowhere but King pulls the referee out at two. Lashley nails Kenny by mistake and Eric hits a quick DDT. The top rope elbow misses though and Lashley spears him down for the pin and the title at 8:45.

Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash for Lashley and WHY DID THIS NOT HAPPEN ON SUNDAY? I’m sure there’s some reason for it but given that it’s TNA I doubt they can explain it to you. Thankfully Young doesn’t come off as a worthless champion, but he’s only a step above transitional.

Lashley is a great case of a guy who is all look and some substance but nowhere near enough to be at the level WWE wanted him to be. The guy just can’t talk and it’s very obvious most of the time. He’s great as a dominator and monster, but having him as the top guy didn’t work in the slightest. Winning the TNA Title is good, but it’s WAY too late.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Someone get me a table. Today is Bubba Ray Dudley.

Broad Street Bully vs. Don E. Allen

Bubba Ray Dudley is guest ring announcer for no apparent reason. The Dudleys hadn’t united yet so this is when it’s still the goofy stable. Bubba is in overalls and a top hat with a white jacket. D-Von would come in soon and get rid of Chubby, Dances With and Dudley (all with the last name Dudley) to make himself and Bubba the killers that they’re known as. They’re faces here though or at least Bubba is.

Bubba has a really bad stutter so him managing to get the title of the show out is considered remarkable. Actually scratch that as he’s gotten rid of the stutter….and there it is again before he can infringe on copyrighted material such as “let’s get ready to rumble.” Hearing Joey have sympathy Bubba is just weird. Big Dick gets mad at him so Bubba says screw this and beats up Allen. HUGE powerbomb puts him down so the Bully tries to jump Bubba. Bubba hammers him down and powerbombs him also, then pins him for no apparent reason. By the way the regular ring announcer is Joel Gertner.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Cyberslam 1997 when Bubba is in his famous team.

Dudley Boys vs. Gangstas

Oh no. Not the song again. It’s New Jack and a guy named Mustafa if you’re curious. Yep the song plays the entire match as that worthless pest New Jack is out here. He plays that freaking guitar and then breaks it over Bubba’s back. VCR to Axl’s head as he’s out here too. I’m only half paying attention here because this is going to go on for at least 10 minutes and my blood pressure is already high.

Basically all you have here is weak weapon shots, a lot of blood and punches. Bubba brings in a table and THE MUSIC STOPS!!!! YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! Oh I think I just came a little. Bubba splashes New Jack through the table in the corner and now this is even more boring than it was before if that’s possible. D-Von pounds on Jack with something while Bubba tries to do wrestling stuff to Mustafa.

Things slow WAY down and this is weaker than I thought possible. It’s technically a match since there’s a referee down there but this has about as much to do with wrestling as a spaghetti recipe does. We go out into the crowd again due to having nothing better to do to fill in time. New Jack puts D-Von on a table in the crowd and does a running balcony dive that made a ton of ECW highlight reels.

Why did it make it you ask? Well there are a few reasons. First and foremost, New Jack didn’t dive far enough and he headbutted D-Von. Second, the table didn’t really break. Third, it’s New Jack so it’s not like a wrestling move can be put on there. Joey says that this started as a tag match. Right Joey, keep telling yourself that while I’m made prime minister of Zimbabwe.

New Jack and D-Von are in the ring now as I guess they’re legal. They’re over 18 so I’ll go with that. Axl pops back up again and hits Jack with a chair and puts D-Von on top for two. Well why have it end I guess? It’s more fun than a barrel of rabid monkeys isn’t it? New Jack goes up for his top rope chair shot but jumps into a Cutter in a spot that says “I was diving only to set up that finishing move” to end it. Another nearly 15 minute “match” here.

Rating: N/A. I hate this kind of stuff and I always have. This isn’t wrestling. This isn’t entertaining. It’s people hitting each other then dropping an elbow and saying they’re wrestlers. When it’s done once in awhile and with story building throughout it and with people actually doing wrestling in between it’s entertaining, such as a TLC match. Have you ever seen a New Jack match that wasn’t just weapon shots? That’s because it doesn’t exist. He’s not a wrestler and the Dudleys are better than this. This is why I don’t like ECW by the way: WAY too much of this nonsense.

Here’s another singles match from Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest in November 1997.

Balls Mahoney vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

MAJOR miscommunication in there somewhere as this is originally announced Sandman vs. Balls. Bubba runs out instead during Sandman’s entrance and is introduced as Mahoney. Whatever. Sandman’s entrance of course takes forever. Joey takes shots at the announcer and he’s exactly right.

Sandman takes some cane shots from Bubba and here’s Balls. Injury I’m guessing. The announcer is told point blank that this is no contest. Naturally he says no disqualification. This guy is AWFUL. Bubba tries to leave and Balls calls out Bubba and that’s how the match starts. Bubba says no way and Balls threatens the referee to start the match or get a chair shot.

Naturally this is No DQ. So I think the miscommunication earlier is just that the announcer sucks. Bubba dancing is funny stuff. We’re on the floor now with Bubba in control. There’s not much to say here as it’s pretty bad. Bret and Foley are going to have to save this thing.

Bubba takes a beer to the face. Sandman slips Balls a chair. I’ve heard of tripping balls but slipping balls? Sandman looks WASTED. I mean he is gone. Balls ducks a chair and hits two bad cane shots and then one good one for a pin that looked like two. Sandman takes him out instead.

Rating: F+. Just a total mess here and the announcing threw everyone off beyond belief. This was bad anyway as no one wanted to see just Bubba. The Dudleys at this time were a unit and just like today when you took one apart they fell apart completely. This was by far the best of the night.

Off to the pay per view years now as the Dudleys were in the main event of Heat Wave 1998.

Dudley Boys vs. Spike Dudley/Tommy Dreamer/Sandman

The match is billed as a street fight, which usually applies to most ECW matches. The Dudleys take their sweet time getting to the ring. They now have Jeff Jones in their camp as well. This is Bubba Ray/D-Von/Big Dick if that wasn’t clear. Bubba challenges anyone in the WWF or WCW to a fight before moving on to challenge fans. Joel gets the mic and describes himself as hotter than a heat wave and harder than Chinese algebra.

Jones is announced as a referee with hair and is carrying a doll made to look up like Beaulah. Sign Guy has a knee injury but is introduced as the Innovator of Silence (as opposed to Dreamer being the Innovator of Violence). The Dudleys are the Intergalactic Six Man Champions. The entrances are funny but take nearly fifteen minutes. Their opponents all come out carrying ladders which are set up on the ramp. Sandman’s entrance is shorter at only about four minutes.

There will be tags, at least to start, with D-Von trading slaps with Dreamer. A few pinfalls attempts get two each but the fans get distracted by something in the crowd. Bubba comes in and the fans want Spike, who gets the tag and is promptly thrown all over the place. He’s able to get out of a gorilla press and nails Bubba with some forearms followed by right hands in the corner. Bubba responds with a running layout powerbomb to crush Spike.

A hard lariat drops Spike so Dreamer tries to start a Spike chant. Bubba misses a splash and Spike counters a powerbomb with a hurricanrana. The tag brings in Big Dick and he gets to face Sandman so the brawl can get started. They quickly get to the floor and everything breaks down. All six pair off and they fight into the crowd with Spike hammering away on D-Von and Dreamer sending Big Dick into the barricade.

Bubba crotches Dreamer on the barricade as Sandman brings a ladder into the ring. A bloody Spike climbs the ladder and dives on all three Dudleys. D-Von is thrown back inside and crushed under a swanton from Sandman. Bubba’s middle rope backsplash onto the ladder onto Dreamer has Tommy rolling around in agony. Spike comes back with an Acid Drop for two as the fans don’t seem to care all that much. Everyone but Dreamer is bleeding now.

The Dudleys all get tied into Trees of Woe and Dreamer puts Sign Guy’s bad leg in a Figure Four. Jeff Jones makes the save and piledrives the doll, earning him a piledriver from Dreamer. Gertner gets tied in a Tree of Woe as well and all four get chairs put in front of the face. Referee John Finnegan helps the good guys as they all hit dropkicks to drive the chairs into a Dudley’s face. Big Dick is up and chokebombs Dreamer before throwing Spike over the top and through a table. Sandman takes Big Dick down but Bubba lays him out. Bubba misses a splash to Dreamer and gets DDTed on the ladder for the pin.

Rating: D. This was the usual ECW brawl but the wrestling at the beginning brought it down. The problem with guys like Sandman and Big Dick is that they’re only good at brawling, making it almost painful to watch them try to do a technical sequence. The other issue is no one believes this isn’t going to break down into a brawl, so why waste time on the wrestling stuff, especially when it’s supposed to be a street fight?

Here’s a six man grudge match from Cyberslam 1999.

Dudley Boys/Mustapha Saed vs. Balls Mahoney/Axl Rotten/New Jack

There’s no New Jack at this point so it’s a handicap match to start. We stall a lot before the match starts as the fans want the Great Saske to replace New Jack. It would certainly be an upgrade. Actually this is a concept called Ultimate Jeopardy (not that ECW bothered to tell us this or anything) so it’s ECW’s WarGames, meaning Balls vs. D-Von starts us off.

Joey really likes using that cabbage in a coleslaw line. D-Von goes into the cage a few times and a superkick puts him down. All Mahoney so far as he goes up top and hits a splash. The countdown begins and here’s Bubba. You can win by pin or submission but not until everyone is in the ring. Balls hammers away and hits a low blow to keep Bubba in the corner but a bleeding D-Von gets some shots in.

Balls manages to fight them both off for awhile at least. Bubba manages to grabs a Rock Bottom (called a Urana-che by Joey) and the beating begins. The not yet a Bully messes up and hits D-Von with something metal as Axl comes in to tie this up. D-Von is covered in blood. Lots of metal in play now and Axl carves up D-Von’s head with a pair of scissors. Well isn’t that gruesome?

Mustapha comes in now and it’s 3-2. He’s New Jack’s old partner so that would be your explanation for why he’s in here. The heels are dominating here as we’re waiting on New Jack or someone to make the save. D-Von’s blood is everywhere. Bubba manages to hit his backsplash onto Balls. Mustapha uses barbed wire on Axl. There’s the final count down (duh nuh nuh duh duh) and New Jack is here all along. Apparently it was a mind game to mess with the Dudleys. That makes sense so I’ll let it go.

New Jack’s music of course plays through the rest of the match. It’s big comeback time as the Dudleys take a huge beating as does Saed. Bubba and Axl have been bleeding for awhile. Joey says everyone is busted so that covers the rest of them. Scratch that as New jack isn’t bleeding which makes more sense. Rotten busts out thumbtacks but D-Von avoids the suplex and puts Axl into them.

Everything slows down as it is known to do in matches such as this one. New Jack takes a guitar shot to the head but Balls goes one up on that as he blows a fireball into the face of Joey. Not that it matters though as he turns around and walks into a Dudley Death Drop (more commonly known as 3D) for the pin. The music cutting off really quickly made me chuckle for some reason.

Rating: C+. This was supposed to be about violence and keeping them trapped in a small place so I can’t complain much here. These matches are supposed to be extreme and that’s what this came out to be. No stips or anything here as this was just a big fight and to my own surprise, I kind of liked it.

And the main event of Hardcore Heaven 1999.

ECW World Title: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Taz

Bubba says D-Von was going to come out here and take the World Title but they recently took the pleasure of beating up Chris Chetti. During that time, D-Von broke his hand on Chetti’s skull, so Bubba is getting the shot instead. Taz comes out and sends Bubba to the floor before making this falls count anywhere. A Sign Guy distraction lets Bubba get in a cheap shot to take over. They head to the ramp where Taz takes him down with a drop toehold followed by a metal FTW sign to the head.

Bubba is thrown onto the timekeeper’s table before they fight into the crowd. Almost all Taz so far. The lighting is so bad that you can barely see anything. Bubba sends him face first into some audio equipment and the World Champion is busted. Now they head into the lobby without much happening. It’s back to the ring where Bubba hammers away but gets caught in a head and arms superplex. D-Von comes out for a reverse DDT to give Bubba two.

The beating continues as Bubba rubs Taz’s blood over his own face. Taz comes back with a hard clothesline but walks into a side slam for two. Bubba sets up two tables in adjacent corners but Taz is just annoyed. He hammers away but both guys stop to throw the referee through a table. A sitout powerbomb gets two for Bubba via a new referee. D-Von comes back in for the reverse 3D and another two count. Taz comes back with a DDT to D-Von and a t-bone Tazplex puts Ray through a table. A very bloody Taz puts on the Tazmission retains the title.

Rating: D. Another total mess and Bubba never felt like a threat to the title. Splitting them up didn’t work at all at this point as they just didn’t have it without each other. Bubba was the better option of the two but he wasn’t really for this spot. Taz really needs some top level opponents to face and Bubba Ray Dudley isn’t it.

They had to go to the WWF eventually. Here they are on Raw, December 27, 1999.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Dudley Boys vs. Acolytes vs. Edge/Christian

The Dudleys have only been around since late August so they’re new and on fire at this point. JR still has to say which is which. Joey Abs is guest referee and Pete Gas says that the Posse is good friends with the Acolytes. D-Von and Christian start things off. This is one fall to a finish. Brown replaces Christian and Bubba does the same with D-Von. Sky High out of nowhere gets two. Back to D-Von who gets Farrooq. The Posse jumps Bradshaw and the Dudleys hit a reverse 3D on Farrooq for a fast count pin. Too short to rate but it was pretty bad. The Canadians were never in the match.

Here’s a singles match from Raw on June 19, 2000.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Kurt Angle vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Ray is banged up after being sent into a dumpster and off the stage recently so Angle goes after the ribs to start. Bubba comes back with a loud chop in the corner and a suplex of his own. A hard clothesline drops angle as D-Von is shown in the back rather than being at ringside. Bubba gets two off a sitout powerbomb but takes too long going up and gets caught in a belly to belly superplex.

Angle throws him to the floor and into the barricade before nailing a suplex on the ramp. Back in and Kurt misses the moonsault, setting up a Bubba Bomb for two. The fans aren’t buying the near falls for Bubba as they know he doesn’t have a chance. Bubba hits a superplex of his own for two but the Bubba Cutter is countered into the Olympic Slam for the pin.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work all that well but Bubba got to show off his solo skills a bit. Like I said though, the fans didn’t buy Bubba as having a chance and it really showed for most of the match. It didn’t last long either, which is probably the best idea all around. Angle was amazing at this point.

Back to the tag division at No Way Out 2001.

Tag Titles: Undertaker/Kane vs. Edge/Christian vs. Dudley Boyz

This is a tables match but not elimination style. Uh sure. The Brothers go after Edge and Christian in the aisle but stop when the Dudleys come out and corner them. Dudleys are champions here. The Canadians hide and it’s on early. It’s a massive brawl of course. Tazz is still on commentary here. The table HHH went through is still just in pieces on the floor which is funny for some reason as it always is.

The Dudleys are down and the Brothers beat up the Canadians. The champs make the save from a double powerbomb but Bubba slips on a chair and falls down. For the first time we get in the ring and Bubba gets his crotch stepped on. What’s up to Edge makes up for that though. This is just a big mess of course but it’s fun. Taker and Kane stop the getting of tables and Christian hits Unprettier on Bubba in the ring.

Stereo powerslams by the big men and then they both go up. Taker goes airborne which isn’t something you see that often really. We get some near endings but a bunch of saves are made including a low blow to Taker. A pair of chokeslams hit but there aren’t any tables. The Dudleys get chokeslammed too and the Brothers stand very tall.

They set for stereo powerbombs but Rikishi and Haku waddle down to stop it and brawl with the monsters. Have we ever had a generation without an evil Samoan team? For some reason Vince thought these Samoans would be a good choice for a team, even though Haku wasn’t Samoan. The monsters all go up the ramp to tick off the crowd. 3D on Christian ends it.

Rating: C+. Just a fun match here but somehow this was supposed to set up monsters vs. monsters, even though the ethnic monsters were gone very soon. This wasn’t much but it definitely wasn’t bad. The constant double teaming got pretty stupid after awhile but it wasn’t horrible. Passable match for what it was, but with TLC 2 next month, it’s hard to stay underwhelmed.

I think this one speaks for itself. From Raw on Christmas Eve 2001.

Bubba Claus vs. Tajiri Claus

Oh….why not. Tajiri knocks him to the floor and hits an Asai Moonsault. The visuals here are pretty funny and JR says this would be a main event at any arena in the North Pole. I can live with nods to Monsoon. Back in the ring the Bubba Bomb takes Tajiri down and a low blow slows him down even more. The fans of course want tables but they have to settle for a splash/elbow drop from Bubba instead.

Tajiri has lost his hat and Bubba takes his own belt off to whip Tajiri a bit. Bubba misses the middle rope splash as is his custom, which likely had to do with him doing the stereotypical Japanese bow before jumping. The look on Bubba’s face is pretty great. A low dropkick gets two and Tajiri fires off some kicks to take over. He goes up but D-Von crotches him, letting Bubba hit a superplex for no cover. The Dudleys set up What’s Up but Taz runs out and crotches D-Von. The distraction lets Tajiri hit the Mist and the Buzzsaw Kick for the pin.

Rating: C. If you were looking for a serious match here, what is wrong with you? This was a fun match and I’m a Tajiri fan so I was digging this no matter what happened in it. On top of that, Bubba’s facials are are always great. Fun match here which is something this dull show needed badly.

After the Brand Split, Raw was kind of decimated. Bubba became a top solo name on the show and got a World Title match on Raw, September 30, 2002.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

Ray puts a table in the corner and spray paints it with HHH. The champ takes him into the corner to start and hammers away but Bubba clotheslines him out to the floor. Back in and Bubba scores with a spear as the fans are dead for this. They fight to the floor with Bubba being sent into the steps, allowing Flair to get in some cheap shots.

Back in again and we hit the sleeper from HHH, which he tried as hard as he could to get over at this point. Bubba grabs a release German suplex and wins a slugout, followed by a Samoan drop. A big side slam gets two on the champion. The Bubba Bomb connects but Flair has the referee. Bubba counters the Pedigree but a Flair distraction lets HHH hit a low blow and the Pedigree to retain.

Rating: D. Even JR didn’t buy what they were doing out there. At the end of the day, it’s Bubba Ray Dudley fighting for the World Title in 2002. The singles experiment completely failed and the Dudleys would reunite in November. There’s a reason Raw in 2002 is remembered so horribly.

Hear ye hear ye! It’s time for a Five Minute White Boy Challenge. From Raw on May 26, 2003.

Rodney Mack vs. Bubba Ray Dudley

The match has a five minute time limit and Bubba starts with chops to Rodney’s chest. The fans want tables but Mack takes him down and puts on a chinlock. Bubba comes back with some amateur stuff to take over before nailing a release German suplex for two. A big side slam gets two but Mack’s friend Christopher Nowitski comes in with his face mask for a shot to the back, giving Mack the pin. Too short to rate but it was character development.

One more WWE match as the Dudleys were totally out of steam. Here they are taking orders from Spike at Summerslam 2004.

Dudleys vs. Paul London/Rey Mysterio/Billy Kidman

This was when the Dudley Boyz were under Spike’s (Cruiserweight Champion) leadership and going to war with the Cruiserweight division for lack of regular sized tag teams to feud against. Spike recently beat Rey for the title so this is technically two feuds combined into one since London and Kidman are Smackdown tag champions. Kidman fires off forearms to D-Von to start before taking him down via an armdrag. Off to London with some more forearms and a nice dropkick for two.

Bubba cheats like a true Bully was and the bad guys take over. Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp to the ribs as the fans want tables. Bubba comes in and suplexes London down while calling him a piece of crap and threatening to beat his face in. You can’t go wrong with a loudmouthed New Yorker who can fight. Off to D-Von for a chinlock as Cole is already at two vintages less than four minutes into the match. London ducks a Bubba clothesline to knock D-Von to the floor.

An enziguri puts Bubba down and there’s the hot tag to Mysterio. Rey gets two beat on Spike in an attempt to get revenge for being put through a table. Dropping the Dime gets two on Spike and a top rope rana gets the same. Rey hits a springboard seated senton to Rey and a big facejam to D-Von. Kidman tags himself in and hits a jumping back elbow off the top (love that move) to Spike.

The BK Bomb (Sky High) gets two on Spike and everything breaks down. London dives off the top to the floor to take out Bubba as Rey and Kidman hit a Hart Attack on Spike. 619 to Spike sets up the Shooting Star for two but D-Von makes the save. Rey dives at D-Von but only hits barricade before Ray kills London with a clothesline. Kidman tries to fight off both big Dudleys on his own but walks into 3D with Spike getting the pin.

Rating: C. Good choice for an opener here but it might have been better to split this up and give us two title matches instead. Still though, starting things off with a fast paced tag match is always a good idea as it sets the pace for the rest of the show. The good guys’ high spots were more than enough to fire up the crowd and the show is off to a fast start, which is the goal of an opener.

It was off to TNA about a year later. Since Bubba has been around forever, I’m going to have to skip a lot of stuff. Also, I’ve covered a lot of this stuff before with the Dudley Boys. We’ll start at Lockdown 2006 in a six man tag.

Team 3D vs. Team Canada

This is a six man so we have Runt in there also. It’s Roode, Young and A-1 for the Canadians. This is a capture the flag match and the winners get their anthem played. The Dudleys have war paint on. Runt and Eric stand on the top ropes as guards for their flags. That’s a smart idea actually. There aren’t any tags for the other guys which makes this even better.

Team 3D does a little doe-see-doe to take out the Canadians but Young jumps down and takes both of them down. Spike does the same and then the goalies go back to their respective places. Young gets pulled down and Spike goes for the flag but can’t quite get to it. Roode goes for it also but gets caught.

Ray and Roode go to the top rope and they chop it out before Ray hits a Bubba Bomb off the top. D-Von makes a save of his own with a Russian Leg Sweep off the top to A-1. Runt and Young fight on the top with Young going down and taking a double stomp. Roode goes after Spike but Ray makes the save. Not that it matters that much as the spinebuster kills Runt dead. Team 3D double teams Roode down but A-1 comes in again.

That also goes badly for the Canadians as Ray chops him down. It’s almost all Dudleys so far. The referee gets crushed and Roode takes the 3D. Double flapjack puts A-1 down and What’s Up Eric? Ray goes up and gets the flag but there’s no referee to declare him the winner. The music plays prematurely and D’Amore has a steel chair. Spike keeps playing goalie but the Canadians triple team him.

Eric puts the American flag back up and D’Amore has knocked the gatekeeper out. He opens the cage and puts a table inside but Young drives himself through it by mistake. Acid Drop takes A-1 down and it’s another 3D for Roode. With the referee up this time, Runt goes and retrieves the flag for the win.

Rating: C+. This was ok but the overbooking got annoying. The good thing though was that the same team won the match in the end so it wasn’t that big of a deal. The cage played a role in the match again here so the match didn’t seem as pointless as it had been earlier. Decent match and it blew off the feud which is the right idea.

Here’s a dream tag match from Slammiversary 2007.

Tag Titles: Team 3D vs. Rick Steiner/???

And the mystery partner is….Road Warrior Animal. Yeah that’s it. The fans chanting it before he came out kind of hurt the shock a bit. Rick puts on his head gear post bell and it makes a huge difference. Rick vs. D-Von to start us off. I don’t think Scott is in the hospital. I think it’s more like he and Animal cooked him and had him for a late night snack. It would explain those guts on them.

Animal offers to come in and Rick waves him off. Nice partner dude. Oh ok there he is and Ray gets in his face. A piledriver is no sold and we have gimmick infringement from Hawk. I guess since he’s dead it’s ok. Back to Rick and they mistime something, as I think Ray was supposed to hit Rick as he hit the ropes but Rick stopped with zero contact at all. Off to Bubba legally and a neckbreaker gets two.

D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt and there’s the tag to Animal. Something I never get: why can a team that has never teamed together before like Steiner and Animal get a tag title match? There isn’t another team that can challenge the Dudleys? Animal cleans house and it’s back to Rick as everything breaks down. The challengers try to load up the Doomsday Device but Animal gets caught in the double neckbreaker and the 3D ends Rick.

Rating: D. These “dream” matches usually suck because by the time you get teams big enough to have a dream match, they’re old. To be fair though, there was almost no way Animal, who barely wrestled anymore, was going to be able to come out there and have a decent match. Scott may be old and slow but he’s active at least. Bad match, but understandably bad.

Time for some Lethal Lockdown, from 2008.

Team Cage vs. Team Tomko

Christian, Nash, Sting, Rhino, Matt Morgan
Tomko, Bubba, D-Von, AJ Styles, James Storm

Remember that AJ is a comedy heel here so the talent is a bit one sided. Christian and AJ start as the smarks explode. Tomko teases being number one for his team but he sends AJ in instead. Now remember they’re going for five minutes and then after the coin toss whoever wins will have a two minute advantage and after that two minutes the losing team makes it 2-2.

That continues until all ten are in. Ten men are WAY too many but I love me some WarGames so this is fun. The heel team of course wins to continue the tradition. AJ is freaking amazing. He might be better at this point than he is now if you can believe that. AJ is dominating here and we have another heel coming. What is our future ECW Champion going to do???

Christian takes over for a bit but we get back to even as Brother Ray comes out. One of the beauties of this match is that you have seventeen minutes at least of wrestling before you get to the finale of the match. It’s a nice little break from those never ending matches that get rather boring as all goodness. Ray wears a Yankees jersey and remember we’re just outside of Boston (those teams hate each other for you non baseball fans).

And Ray uses a Boston Crab. That’s just amusing. Rhyno ties us up. Didn’t they hate each other for like ever? The clock is ten kinds of screwed up now so it’s anyone’s guess how close they get to the right time. James Storm comes out maybe a minute and twenty seconds later. He’s got Jackie with him. Yeah I don’t care either. He and Roode would hook up soon.

For no explainable reason AJ climbs the cage and he and Christian fight on the top but Christian climbs down on the outside and gets knocked to the floor. Nash ties it up but Christian is still on the floor. He launches an AWESOME high cross body to Bubba and Storm. That was sweet looking. D-Von comes in after maybe a minute.

The clock is completely insane, but I can’t criticize it as the Royal Rumble is never anywhere close. I never remember a team that turns face or heel faster than 3D. I like the booking here as they’re letting the heels dominate when they’re way behind in talent but the booking is realistic. Matt Morgan comes in next and he’s as green as possible. He had been Cornette’s bodyguard forever but never got in the ring until here. We know it’s Tomko and Sting left so that’s no mystery.

There’s a lot of laying around here but you have to do that in a sense here as there are just too many people in there. AJ and Matt hook up for awhile which is a PPV main event someday if they quit messing around with Morgan. Oh that’s right: we need to have Hogan’s boys in the main event. Christian and Tomko go at it as the two captains which is always interesting.

D-Von is bleeding pretty well. The fans want Sting. Everyone stops to meet Sting but he pulls a 96 WarGames and beats them all up by himself. In a cool spot, Sting throws AJ up like for a back body drop but just kicks him in the balls instead. The roof with the weapons is lowered.

Everybody grabs one as they have them on the roof too. Yeah they’re not even bothering trying to hide that they’re going up there. Oh ok there’s a trap door so it’s more obvious. I kind of like that. Storm and Christian go up there which unclutters the ring a bit as it badly needs.

There’s a big hole in the roof which is kind of a cool visual. Nash and Morgan do a double chokeslam on 3D. AJ grabs a kendo stick and just massacres people with it. We have a table on the roof and AJ heads up there too so there are three up there and seven in the ring. AJ sets up a ladder ON TOP OF THE CAGE. Once he climbs it, he might be higher up than on top of the HIAC. I’m pretty sure he is.

As someone afraid of heights, that’s terrifying to me. Christian climbs up too and Storm shoves the ladder over. Nothing at all is happening in the cage mind you. They couldn’t have gone any further without a potential serious injury. And then Rhyno gores Storm for the pin. What the heck was that???? It’s like they ran out of time all of a sudden and said OH CRAP end it.

Rating: B-. That’s mainly for the bad ending. There was no big dramatic moment or anything and they just had the Gore for the pin. I’m not wild on that at all. The ten people are just WAY too many for one ring. This should have been 3-3 or so and nothing more. Actually 4-4 could work.

There were also far too many dead spots too. This is definitely a good idea but it needs a lot of tweaking with the main thing being an adjustment to the amount of people. I’m probably shortchanging this a bit, but there were too many people and too much laying around doing nothing because of the confined space. The two ring, 8 man matches were always, well at least almost always, awesome because they found that balance. If TNA can do that then these matches go WAY up in value.

TNA decided that they needed two sets of tag titles and brought in the IWGP Tag Team Titles. This set up a double ladder match for two sets of titles at Bound For Glory 2009.

IWGP Tag Titles/TNA Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. British Invasion vs. Team 3D vs. Main Event Mafia

Since this is TNA they can manage to screw up a TLC match. Both tag titles are on the line here and any team can win any of them. The Mafia, Steiner and Booker, are TNA tag champions and the Invasion are the IWGP champions. The thing was that TNA decided that since EVERYONE watches Japanese tag wrestling that there was nothing wrong with having two sets of tag titles because these other belts are SO famous. I really hated this idea, as in far more than most TNA ideas which should tell you a lot.

Thankfully soon after this TNA would WAKE UP and realize no one cared about the IWGP belts because THIS ISN’T JAPAN. Big brawl to start while Beer Money hides in the corner which is smart. We get into the heart of why I hate this immediately as Taz and Tenay talk about how prestigious the IWGP belts are. That’s all well and good but there’s one flaw: your belts are supposed to be the top titles. If they weren’t you wouldn’t call them WORLD tag titles. It was like TNA was saying “yeah we’re a big deal but we pale in comparison to Japan.” I hated it.

Steiner and D-Von go off to fight and it’s a big mess that’s hard to call. I wouldn’t have put two big multi-man climb up to get an object matches on one show but I get what they were thinking here. Ton of weapons go everywhere and of course there isn’t much in the way of flow but there isn’t supposed to be here. DWI for Booker. Steiner busts out the corner Frankensteiner which is nothing like the original one but is an easier way to avoid having to do the harder spot.

Booker might be legit hurt. Steiner does nothing but suplexes, showing his level of awesomeness. Steiner goes up after the TNA belts (at least he didn’t go for the others first) but the ladder is too short and he gets shoved off. Booker has a stretcher brought out for him as Steiner takes What’s Up. Eh with that many steroids in him he probably didn’t feel a thing.

The Brits bring in tables as Booker is wheeled out. Dudleys just END the English dudes with chair shots. And the guitar player from earlier gets a chair shot on Magnus. Williams goes through a table in the ring as we’re in the “everyone but three people lay down while the three guys do spots” and D-Von hits What’s Up on Williams. BIG Table chant. Double chokeslams (from the Dudleys?) put Beer Money down and through tables.

Steiner pops back up and brings in a ladder. And then he falls off a ladder thanks to 3D. The team not the move. The Dudleys go up at the same time like idiots and here’s Rhyno of all people, since you know 8 people in one match aren’t enough, and blasts them with chairs but not before D-Von gets the IWGP Titles down.

Beer Money and the Brits both go up, resulting in a bad looking suplex on Magnus from both guys. Beer Money has an open shot but has to do their taunt first. Storm gets some beer and then a front flip powerbomb to take Magnus out again. Cool looking spot. Roode is about to get the TNA belts but Rob Terry of the British Invasion comes down to throw him through a table and help Magnus get the belt to end it.

Rating: B. Another fun match much like Ultimate X earlier. There were a lot of people here and I think too many teams. That and having two sets of tag titles made this a bit too much of a mess and the lack of a huge spot kind of slowed it down from being great. That being said this was a fun match and did the job it was supposed to do: get the crowd going. It’s not up to the levels of the great TLC matches but it was good. I still wish they didn’t have two multi-man grab the title matches at one show though but what can you do?

Here’s a rare singles match from this period, at Slammiversary 2010.

Brother Ray vs. Jesse Neal

Before the match Ray gets the mic and wants D-Von to come out here. Here he comes and Shannon Moore sprints by him. Is there a reason they didn’t just do the freaking tag match that you know is coming? Ray wants to apologize. The fans want tables. And sure let’s chant YOU’RE A DOUCHEBAG at Ray because any chant is COOL! Can we get Bubba to be the jerk he’s going to wind up being already and stop filling in time like this?

They all shake hands and stuff and of course Bubba blasts him as everyone expected him to. I’m not going to say that was pointless, because it was far below that. Taz says he didn’t expect this, showing how absolutely stupid he is. With Neal getting dominated, he starts throwing headbutts into Ray’s stomach. Is he trying to cut him or something? Yeah the referee shirts are different now. I’m not surprised. Dang those chops sound great.

The freaky looking guy starts his comeback as apparently nothing he had done to him even hurt that I can tell. Bubba Bomb hits and is called that as this is just an ok match. And here’s the surprise: Tommy Dreamer. Yeah in 2010 there’s actual talk of an ECW stable. Bubba and Dreamer have a staredown as Tommy does his thing in the crowd and the spear ends it.

Rating: D+. I wanted to rip this apart, but it’s really not all that bad. Dreamer at least has a connection to Team 3D so that fits well enough I suppose. It could have been worse if they had made it go longer, but this was good enough for five minutes I guess. It’s not bad for what it was though I guess.

Then the Dudleys finally split up and started a feud with D-Von’s kids involved for some reason. Here they are in a street fight at Against All Odds 2011.

Bully Ray vs. D-Von

This is a street fight and D-Von’s kids will NOT be involved. I’ll believe that when I don’t see it I guess. Bubba hides before D-Von comes out so he can jump him. Ray has the chain but D-Von turns around and the fight is on. All D-Von to start but Bubba gets some punches in. D-Von hits him in the head with a beverage to break the momentum though and we continue the brawl.

We get the kendo stick as it’s all D-Von now. Ray tries to beg and slaps D-Von. This isn’t interesting in the slightest mind you but it’s not horrible. With D-Von completely in control his kids come out. He tells them to go and gets drilled by a chair. Bubba spits on them and sets up for the Pillmanizing of the neck again. The kids get in the ring to stop it as Bubba threatens them with the chain.

D-Von makes the save and beats up Ray. He goes to backdrop the fat white guy and Bubba shouts OH CRAP! The kids beat up Bubba a bit and help D-Von out with What’s Up. DAD! GET THE TABLES! I kid you not, that just actually happened. Here’s the table but Bubba gets a low blow in. And now we enter the bondage segment of the show with D-Von being handcuffed to the corner.

Bubba enters his bullying mode while the kids come in to try to help. One of them gets taken down while the other fights back. Bubba kicks him in the face and pins him to win the match. Oh sweet goodness are you kidding me? I had to close my eyes for a second there due to how stupid that was. Why is it stupid? They weren’t in the match but it counts anyway. Well sure why not.

Rating: D. This was your standard brawl with a bad ending. This feud isn’t interesting, it doesn’t elevate anyone and the ending was stupid as all goodness. Naturally this is leading to a tables match and it’s all about the anti-bullying movement that is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER! I’m so over this bullying kick the country is on and I can’t stand it in wrestling. All heels are bullies but only Bubba is an official one.

Bubba keeps yelling post match and threatens to hit the kids with a chair. Is there no like, SECURITY or something? Ah good at least D-Von yelled for them. Yep there’s a powerbomb through the table and bad acting from D-Von. Naturally the fans chant for another one. Hey, IT’S A GUY TO GET D-VON OUT! Good thing he wasn’t here EARLIER! They do a stretcher ride to fill in more time. Somehow the post match stuff was the best part of the show by far. In a funny bit the kid that got kicked in the head is completely forgotten about until D-Von throws him over his shoulder like a bag of manure.

Bubba then became a Bully and joined Immortal. He fought AJ Styles in a last man standing match at Slammiversary 2011.

Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles

Last man standing here. AJ is listed as being from Gainesville, Florida instead of Georgia. Christy looks good, but dude, go wear low cut shirts and that’s about it. Staredown to start and then AJ hammers away. Ray runs him over so that gets us nowhere. This is going to take awhile to get anywhere, much like any last man standing match. Ray pounds away and we go to the floor for awhile.

Bully sets up the steps but chops away instead. He drops AJ onto the steps but pulls him up at about 4. Ray puts the steps on AJ and then stands on him, which should get a ten. Naturally Ray lets him up because he’s not that intelligent at times. That and a few more shots get a four. Back into the ring for some more hard chops as this has almost been all Ray.

AJ says bring it and holds his chest out. More chopping follows and Styles says keep em coming. Ray of course stands around and lets AJ get up because again, he’s not that smart. Instead he punches him in the jaw this time which works a bit better. AJ gets back up and his chest is all kinds of messed up. Styles hammers away and gets Ray down with the Pele. Springboard forearm gets six.

Ray goes up so AJ hits a Pele up there. AJ goes up there for a rana but gets caught in a sitout powerbomb. That looks awesome coming off the top and it gets like five here. They both stumble to the floor and Ray has a chain. That hits post though and Ray’s hand is hurt. AJ gets the chain and a jumping punch with it sends Ray under the ring to blade. Ooo and it’s a good one too.

Back in the ring and AJ gets his springboard 450 for a count of about 8. AJ picks Ray up and throws him to the floor and down goes a cameraman. Pescado puts Ray down again and it’s Styles Clash time. That of course doesn’t work so we go back up the ramp. Ray wants the powerbomb again but AJ hits a pair of Peles and a punt to send Ray to the floor.

AJ is like screw it and dives off the stage to Ray and it looks like his head slammed into Ray’s shoulder. That only gets 9. Styles loads up a table and puts it in front of the stage. Chair to the back puts Ray on it and it’s huge spot time. He sets for a running dive but realizes it’s too far. Instead he climbs up the truss and hits one of the biggest dives you’ll EVER see to kill Ray. I was legit scared there. And then Ray kicks him through the stage wall and wins the freaking thing. HORRIBLE ending as AJ was built up perfectly and then oh wait let’s make sure Ray wins because AJ freaking Styles isn’t a big enough star right?

Rating: B. Great match and the ending ruined it. AJ hits one of the biggest spots in company history and then BULLY FREAKING RAY beats him with a kick to the back? Are you freaking kidding me? Zero reason at all for Ray to win this and the shot he wins it with was freaking weak. AJ’s dive is worth seeing and is up there with the Swanton Jeff Hardy did to Orton on Raw like three years ago for scary dives. Hate the ending though. Absolutely hate it.

Another street fight, this time against Mr. Anderson at Bound For Glory 2011.

Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson

Anderson charges the ring and we start fast. Remember that this is a falls count anywhere match. Anderson tries to control early but Ray kicks his head off and puts Anderson down. Is there a reason why Anderson wears his shirt in his matches anymore? Ray chops him haRD in the corner (not good enough for all caps but decent) as Anderson’s hair is uh….weird. Anderson goes to the floor and takes a sign which has to be loaded. Yep there’s a metal sign in there and Ray goes down in a heap. Dead end sign and it goes over Ray’s head again.

They fight on the floor and a fan throws a beer on Ray. Anderson gets two on the floor and they go up the ramp. Anderson is infinately more entertaining when you let him stop wrestling. Ray reverses a suplex on the stage for two. Ray grabs the mic and talks about New York but Anderson beats him down and says this is Philadelphia. They head into the back and Ray hits a piledriver onto the concrete for two. Anderson gets choked with a red chair.

Back into the arena and they’re near the Spanish announce area. That has to be a copyrighted brawling area. Anderson takes part of the railing away and slides it into the ring but Ray beats him down and sets up a table. There’s another set up on the floor as well. Ray gets backdropped onto the railing and it’s bent.

Anderson goes up and misses the swanton onto the railing, allowing Ray to hit the Bubba Bomb (why is it not the Bully Bomb?) for two. I thought that was the ending. Anderson gets in a trashcan shot and loads Ray up onto the table on the floor. He goes up and channels his inner Jeff Hardy. There’s the huge Swanton BUT THE TABLE DIDN’T BREAK! FREAKING OW MAN!!! A Mic Check onto the table finally ends this at 14:28.

Rating: C+. This is one of those matches that was fun to watch. It wasn’t technically good or anything but if you’re expecting it to be you’re totally missing the point. This was a fun weapons match, although I kind of question having two of them on the same show like they did with Lynn and Van Dam. Decent match here and rather entertaining.

Bully would advance to the final four in the 2012 Bound For Glory Series. Here are his matches at No Surrender 2012. I’ll include his promo between matches which should have won Promo of the Year.

Bound For Glory Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

Ray stalls to start and heads to the floor to beat up a sign. After two minutes of stalling, Ray slaps Storm in the chest and gets slapped in the face for his efforts. Storm goes after him and Ray heads to the floor again, tripping a bit on his way down. We’re four minutes into this so far and they’ve barely touched each other. Back in and Ray takes it to the corner but Storm has had enough and pounds the Bully repeatedly in the head.

Storm pounds away some more but the Last Call misses and Ray hits him in the leg to take over. Ray throws on a bearhug which is quickly broken but a big boot takes Storm’s head off for two. Ray gets in Hebner’s face but is shoved away in the signature Earl bit. Instead, Bully splashes Storm in the corner and pounds him down some more from the middle rope. Storm crotches him and a powerbomb gets two.

They slug it out from their knees and Ray misses a charge in the corner. A top rope cross body gets two for Storm as does a sidewalk slam for Ray. Storm charges into the referee and walks into the Bubba Bomb for two from a new referee. Ray misses the middle rope backsplash (duh) and Storm fires a forearm, taking out referee #2. Last Call hits but there’s no referee. Bobby Roode comes out with a beer bottle to Storm’s head and Ray gets the pin to advance at 14:08.

Rating: C+. This was a different kind of a match and not everyone is going to like it. This was based on entertainment rather than wrestling with Ray hiding every chance he could get. The problem with matches like this one is there’s limited action and a lot of standing around. It’s entertaining but not necessarily good if that makes sense.

Ray talks about Jeff Hardy being injured tonight, but he would have beaten Jeff anyway. Love him or hate him, you have to respect him. You have to respect what Bully has done in the last year and a half. He has reinvented himself in the last year and a half and gone from being the most decorated tag team wrestler of all time to now being a match away from Bound For Glory. Jeff is on the tracks and Bully is the locomotive. Everyone else in TNA may be bound for glory, but he is destined for greatness.

Bound For Glory Series Finals: Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

Hardy’s music hits and Hogan comes out instead. Hogan implies Ray is behind Aces and 8’s but Ray denies it. Ray says if Hardy can’t go, what option is there other than for Ray to win by forefit? Hogan says that the ball is in the GM’s court and asks for four more days for this match to happen on Impact, drawing more booing than in his entire time in Immortal. Ray isn’t cool with that but here’s Hardy anyway so it doesn’t matter. Predictable, but that’s fine in this case as it is in a lot of cases but that’s an argument for another time.

Hardy has one arm so he’s wrestling very tentatively. He tries as well as he can to drive Ray into the corner but Jeff gets knocked to the floor where he holds the arm even more. As he comes back in, Ray pounds away on the bad arm and Jeff bails to the floor again. Ray slams Hardy down and puts on an armbar as Hardy is reeling. Jeff can barely defend himself here. Ray misses a splash and Jeff hits the mule kick. Twisting Stunner sets up the Swanton but it only gets two. That might be Jeff’s one chance.

Ray hits Jeff in the shoulder and the Bubba Bomb gets two. Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere gets two and both guys are down. Another Whisper attempt misses and the Bubba Cutter….only gets two. Another Twisting Stunner hits but the Swanton misses. The second Bubba Cutter only gets two again and the crowd isn’t popping for these kickouts now. Twisting Stunner #3 and #4 hit back to back but he gets crotched going up. Scratch that as he knocks Ray off and hits the Swanton for the pin and the BFG main event spot at 12:42.

Rating: B-. The last five minutes of this were pretty absurd with the repeating finishers and the fans didn’t get into it for the most part. I also hate the ending as Ray has done some of the best stuff of his life tonight but Jeff gets the win anyway. I’m not wild on this and the match wasn’t all that good. Anyway, Hardy vs. Aries will be pretty awesome, but I was hoping Ray won here as he’s earned it this past year.

Since TNA was so screwed up, Bully somehow won a tournament he wasn’t entered in and got a title shot at Lockdown 2013.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray

In the cage of course with Hardy defending. Tenay says Ray has a 50+ pound weigh advantage about a minute after Ray is announced at 275 to Hardy’s 227. Feeling out process to start with Ray running Hardy over with a hard shoulder. A quick slam gets two for Ray and the champion bails to the corner. Hardy fights back with the Whisper in the Wind for two but can’t escape as Ray rams Hardy’s leg into the cage.

Ray starts a slow and methodical offense by working over the champion’s ribs and back. A big backdrop gets two for Ray but Jeff gets in a shot to earn himself a breather. The Twist and the Bubba Bomb are both countered but the second attempt at the Twist of Fate connects. Cue Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff into the cage but Jeff and Bully run them over. Bully lets himself be a springboard for Poetry in Motion before throwing both bikers out.

They slug it out in the middle of the ring with Jeff actually taking over. A flying forearm takes Bully down and there’s a low dropkick for two. Hardy tries to climb out but Ray makes the save and they slug it out on the top rope. Hardy kicks Ray in the head but falls to the mat, allowing Ray to fall off the top onto Jeff for a VERY close two. The Twist staggers Bully but as Jeff goes up, Ray hits a HUGE sitout powerbomb out of the corner to put both guys down.

Ray covers for two and the fans are split. Cue the Hogans to watch the main event from ringside to cheer on Bully. Ray gets to his feet very slowly but here are Aces and 8’s. Ray stands up and has a chain as the bikers come in. To the shock of not many people, Ray is thrown a hammer by D-Von and clubs down Jeff to win the title, revealing himself as the leader at 17:20.

Rating: B-. That powerbomb alone was worth the whole match. The ending isn’t really all that surprising but at least Aces and 8’s have FINALLY done something of note. Bully Ray as world champion of a major company in 2013 is a huge gamble to say the least, but it appears that we’re heading to Hogan vs. Ray down the line. To call that a gamble is an even shorter stretch but it’s what we appear to be getting.

Ray would lose the title a few months later but get a rematch, again in a cage, at Hardcore Justice 2013.

TNA World Title: Bully Ray vs. Chris Sabin

In a cage with Sabin defending and if Ray loses, he never gets another shot at the gold. After the big match intros we’re ready to go. I think it’s pin/submission/escape here but the announcers don’t make it clear. Ray scores a quick slam but Sabin pops right back up. Another slam puts Sabin down even harder but he shoves Ray back. There’s a third hard slam but Sabin comes back with some armdrags and a dropkick to send Ray into the corner. Some forearms in the corner set up a delayed dropkick but Ray sends him onto the top rope. The champion comes off with a cross body for two and dropkicks Ray’s leg out.

Sabin goes up but gets crotched and LAUNCHED into the cage with authority. I’m guessing Bully’s authority but it isn’t really clear. Back from a break with Ray in full control and getting two off a big elbow drop. He shouts at Sabin to hit him in the face and the champion does just that, coming out of the corner with forearms to the face. Ray gets caught in a backslide for two but takes Sabin’s head off to regain control. Bully loads up a huge powerbomb but Sabin slips down into a sleeper, only to have Ray ram him into the cage for the break.

Sabin comes out of the corner with a nice tornado DDT but can’t immediately follow up. They slug it out and the champion gets all fired up by chopping Ray down. He actually hits a Death Valley Driver on the big man but doesn’t cover. Sabin takes Ray’s Aces cut off and whips Ray across the back with it, only to get kicked in the face for two. A Samoan drop gets two on Sabin but Ray gets caught while climbing. Sabin tries a rana out of the corner but drops Ray down on his shoulder, sending Ray across the mat, clutching his shoulder and screaming in pain.

Hail Sabin is countered into a suplex and Ray wants the door open. Sabin tries to slide past Ray but gets pulled back in. Ray misses a charge and sends the referee into the cage, knocking him out cold. Sabin hits a missile dropkick on Ray but there’s no referee to count the pin. Anderson slams the cage door against Sabin’s shoulder but Sabin pops right back up. Anderson: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” Cue the Mafia for the save but Ortiz hits Rampage with the hammer, allowing Ray to kill Sabin with the powerbomb for the pin and the title at 18:08.

Rating: C+. Good cage match here but you knew the swerve was coming. Ortiz turning (was that a turn? I don’t think he was ever a face to begin with) isn’t really a surprise and it was pretty obvious that Ray was walking out with the gold. It’s a good cage match but the lack of any drama really didn’t help much.

We’ll wrap it up with perhaps the most entertaining match I’ve ever seen. From Jokers Wild 2014.

Rockstar Spud/Bully Ray vs. Mr. Anderson/Austin Aries

This has potential. Spud says he’ll be team captain no matter who his partner is and then Bully is announced for a funny moment. Ray and Spud stare each other down. That goes badly for Spud so he gets a chair to stand on. He talks about being chief of staff…..before quickly agreeing that Ray is captain tonight. The fans chant for Aries but switch to WE WANT SPUD. They get what they ask for but the tag hurts Spud’s hand.

Aries easily takes him down so Bully gives him a huge pep talk and starts a SPUD chant. The Rockstar gets in Aries’ face and slaps him, only to be dropped by a left hand. Ray offers another tag but Spud is scared of the pain so it’s another pep talk. This time Aries takes him down with a clothesline and it’s off to Anderson to take over in the corner. All four get in and Spud starts to dance. Ray walks to the corner and facepalms, allowing Aries and Anderson to double team Spud.

Bully realizes he’s doing this on his own and Spud gets knocked down again. Ray yells at him and gets elbowed in the back of the head by Aries, knocking him face first into….uh….a certain place on Spud. This just makes Ray even angrier so he breaks out of a Mic Check and kicks Anderson in the face. Spud does Ray’s pose so Ray pulls him to the corner by the ear and hits a big elbow drop for two on Anderson. Ray to Hebner: “You know what? You count too slow!”

He yells at Hebner in the corner but Earl gets right in Ray’s face to take him into the other corner. Now it’s back to Spud. Taz: “WHY???” Spud drops the same elbow for two and gets in Hebner’s face so Earl slams him down to give Aries a two count. Anderson hits the neckbreaker on the now legal Bully and it’s off to Aries who dropkicks Ray to the floor. A dropkick from the top to the floor and a regular missile dropkick get two for Aries but Ray slams him down and tells Spud to go up top.

Ray: “WHAT’S UP???” Spud: “I’M UP!” The headbutt connects but Ray knocks Spud down when he slaps him in the chest before GET THE TABLES. Spud falls down trying to pull the table out and Ray is disgusted. “GET THE TABLE IN ALREADY!” Anderson comes over and puts his arm around Ray as Spud is still dealing with the table.

Aries is about to go up for What’s Up but Hebner won’t let him. Spud tries a sneak attack on Anderson but is thrown into Ray’s crotch for his efforts. Ray: “YOU SOB!” The fans rightfully think this is awesome and there’s the running corner dropkick from Aries. He loads up the brainbuster but Spud rolls Aries up and pulls the trunks halfway off for the pin. The look of shock on Ray’s face is priceless.

Rating: A+. This was the funniest match I’ve seen in years and maybe even ever. They kept the joke going the entire time and had a WAY more entertaining match than they would have had if they played it straight. This is something WWE needs to learn from. Rather than just having a guy be designated as a comedy guy and having him do strange things while the commentators tell you it’s funny, this was four guys who can be funny BEING FUNNY.

Instead of just doing the same bits over and over again (like Young stripping or the Cobra), they did different stuff that we hadn’t seen before and had a very funny match as a result. Comedy can be done, but let these funny people come up with it themselves rather than having them perform something a writer came up with. If they were good enough actors/performers to do what a writer came up with, they would be in Hollywood making way more money.

This was a blast and a good lesson in how to do comedy wrestling. The tagline One Night Only applies here too: if they did this every week on TV it would stop being anywhere near as funny in like the third week. Do it every now and then instead of the same bits every week and it’ll work far better.

Bubba Ray Dudley is a guy who surprised me when his career turned around and he became a completely different character in TNA.  While that doesn’t overshadow the most successful tag team of all time, it does add a new wrinkle to a very solid career.  He’s never going to headline Wrestlemania, but when you couple a great renaissance in TNA with the ladder matches and tag belts, he’s quite a talent.

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