Today we’ll look at the first ever WWF Triple Crown winner: Pedro Morales.

Morales got his start in 1959 but as you can guess, it’s borderline impossible to find stuff from way back then. Instead we’ll jump ahead to December 16, 1970.

Gorilla Monsoon/Pedro Morales vs. The Mongols

The Mongols are way old school and named Bepo and Geto. Monsoon is HUGE. He’s the Asian Champion and Pedro is US Champion (the WWF version which was gone by the 70s). This is 2/3 falls and we’re joined in progress. It’s in Philly and from sometime in the late 60s. The Mongols are bald other than ponytails. This is the WWWF also. Monsoon is sent to the floor by the International Tag Team Champions.

Geto, the smaller one, drops a bunch of knees off the top on Gorilla to win the first fall. Clipped to the second fall and Pedro is in trouble. One of those Mongols looks a lot like Nikolai Volkoff. And I’m right as he’s Bepo. Bear hug by Gorilla but Bepo makes the save. This isn’t incredibly good. Pedro watches Monsoon getting his teeth kicked in. The Mongols get disqualified for double teaming so we go to the third fall.

Monsoon’s back is hurt so FINALLY we get Pedro. He throws some decent dropkicks which gets the pin on Geto. The film starts messing up and looks like it’s being played in fast motion. The third fall was either clipped or lasted 18 seconds. Pedro looked good if nothing else I guess.

Rating: N/A. Haven’t used one of those in awhile. This really isn’t fair to grade with all the clipping and lack of any story at all. It’s not too bad and Pedro looked great. Monsoon was a freaking load and the Mongols were nothing special. Then again it was the 60s so how angry can I really get with it?

Pedro would quickly become a bigger deal, earning a World Title shot in MSG on February 8, 1971.

Ivan Koloff vs. Pedro Morales

Obviously the commentary (performed by WWE Hall of Famer Jim Ross) was recorded later as this was on an official WWE DVD. Pedro is another of those ethnic heroes, this one of Puerto Rican descent. Koloff is absolutely loathed while Pedro is as over as free beer in a frat house. Pedro loads up his big left hand to start but Koloff backs away to the ropes. I believe there’s a clip there but it might have just been a camera angle switching. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

Ivan doesn’t want to get into a fist fight with Pedro so he keeps locking up with him. They continue circling each other and we might have another clip to later circling. Pedro grabs a headlock and the fans lose their minds. Things speed up with Morales kicking Koloff off of him and taking the champion down with a headlock takeover. Koloff fights up after being held on the mat for a few moments. They stand up but Pedro keeps the hold on Ivan, causing the champion to grab Morales’ hair or trunks whenever he can.

Koloff finally escapes the hold and takes Pedro down with a kick to the ribs. The champion hooks on a chinlock and we’re clipped to later in the hold with the referee forcing a break due to thinking it was a choke. We’re clipped again to another chinlock by Koloff, this time with him using the strap from his singlet to choke Pedro. Morales fights up and hits some trademark left hands to the ribs. We’re clipped again to Ivan begging off in the corner and asking for a handshake.

Morales will have none of that but accepts a test of strength. The powerhouse Koloff takes him down but Pedro outsmarts him, hooking a monkey flip to send Koloff into the ropes. Another possible clip occurs and Pedro wants to throw fists. Instead he gets caught in a bearhug which is one of Koloff’s signature moves. After being in the hold well over a minute, Pedro comes out of it with a slam which only seems to make the champion angry.

Ivan pounds away on Morales with punches and forearms but they collide off a double shoulder block and both men are down. It’s the champion up first but he misses a running splash. Pedro still can’t follow up so Koloff slams him down and tries the top rope knee drop that won him the title. His challenger rolls away though and it’s Pedro going up top now, hitting a top rope cross body for two. Koloff whips Pedro into all four corners before trying what we would call a German suplex. All four shoulders are down but as the three count comes down, Pedro raises his right should, giving him the pin and the championship.

Rating: C+. This was a nice back and forth match with a huge ovation for the title change. The fans wanted to see someone take the title from Koloff and the fact that it was another of their heroes made it all the better. Pedro was already the United States Champion so he had a strong resume coming into the match. Again, the match wasn’t great by today’s standards but it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

We’ll move ahead to this title defense at some point in 1972.

WWWF World Title: Pedro Morales vs. Mr. Fuji

Fuji starts fast and throws the champion over the top and out to the floor. He rams Morales face first into the apron a few times before doing the same with the turnbuckle. Morales gets all fired up as is his custom and sends Fuji over the ropes. The evil Hawaiian is sent into the steps before they head back inside. Fuji slams Pedro down a few times but takes his sweet time going up top, only to get slammed down ala Flair. Pedro grabs a quick rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. To say Morales didn’t exactly have the most in depth psychology is an understatement. It was basically just random slams and chops before a rollup got the pin. Then again a four minute match was a rarity back then so I’d assume he’d be more comfortable with a lot more time.

Back to MSG on June 30, 1973.

WWWF World Title: Pedro Morales vs. George Steele

Pedro is all ticked off before he’s even in the ring. For some reason the champion is introduced twice. Steele charges at him but Pedro hammers away and sends him over the corner and out to the floor. Back in and Steele nails him in the ribs with a foreign object to take over. He stomps away and slams Pedro down but stands in the corner instead of following up.

Pedro gets back to his feet but is a bit calmer this time, opting for an armdrag instead of wildly swinging. Steele bails to the apron again but snaps Morales’ throat over the top rope. He rams the champ’s head into the buckle a few times, only to have Pedro do the same to him. Steele is busted open and Pedro bites at the cut until the referee finally stops it for the blood.

Rating: C. Better match here with the story making sense: Pedro did his usual brawling but got in over his head until he came back with using Steele’s own evil tricks against him to win. This was before Steele was an Animal and it’s really odd to see him as just a regular and even at times smart heel.

Pedro would lose the title in December of 1973 so we’ll head over to July 22, 1974.

Killer Kowalski vs. Pedro Morales

Talk about legends. Now Kowalski was the big time brawler of his day. He also trained HHH so there’s his biggest contribution to wrestling more than likely. This would be about 8 months after Pedro lost the world title, putting it in late July of 74. We’re in MSG here of course. Jesse Ventura is alone on commentary here. That’s a new one on me. Kowalski used the Claw on various body parts so he uses it on the leg here. Pedro’s leg problems seem to be a theme on this tape.

Clipped to more leg work. Jesse doing play by play is a very odd thing. He doesn’t shut up but keeps things fresh somehow. It’s more like a radio broadcast. The Claw is something that needs a good announcer to put it over because just from a visual perspective, it looks really stupid. Pedro comes back with some left hands and grabs Killer by the ears. Back to the knee and Pedro is in trouble again. How did this guy win the first triple crown?

They trade punches to the ribs and Morales takes over. Jesse is surprisingly good at play by play. Morales is left handed if that gives you a better mental picture of this. Morales grabs the Claw on the ribs. Clipped to a double stomp by Kowalski. This commentary has been recorded far later as Jesse talks about Kowalski like he’s retired, which he would have been. Kowalski bites the face and Pedro bites back. Killer takes him down but misses a double stomp. Off to the Claw on the stomach again and Pedro is in trouble. They brawl to the floor and it’s thrown out. WEAK.

Rating: D. I love old school stuff and I’ve always liked Pedro, but this was boring. The Claw is one of those moves that works as a quick finisher but having it in there all the time like this got really boring after awhile. At least it wasn’t very long. Kowalski is a guy that seems like he’d be better in quick spurts. This match felt like it would have been better for a live crowd, which is fine, but it does bring into question why it’s on a tape.

More MSG on February 17, 1975.

Pedro Morales vs. Butcher Vachon

They brawl in the corner to start and Vachon isn’t sure what to make of someone that can hang with him in a fight. Both guys send the other into the corner before Morales backdrops him down. Vachon cranks on the arm a bit and looks bored in doing so. Morales comes back with more left hands and the stalling continues. A big clothesline drops Morales and a shoulder to the ribs does it again. Vachon tries the same thing but gets caught in a sunset flip for the pin.

Rating: D+. I’m starting to get Pedro at this point and it’s an idea that works for the most part. It’s nothing great but the whole learning from your mistakes works well enough and shows some thinking in the ring. Vachon was better known as a brawler than as an in ring worker and that’s what we got here.

We’ll actually jump to the NWA for a bit here on Worldwide in 1979. I believe this is from Raleigh, North Carolina.

Paul Jones/Baron Von Raschke vs. Pedro Morales/Steve Regal

No not that Steve Regal. Steve and Jones get things going and they trade shoulders to no avail. Some armdrags take Jones down and it’s off to Pedro to crank on the arm. Off to an armbar but it’s off to the Baron who easily takes Regal down. The announcer is giving us one of the most in depth bios I’ve ever heard, including favorite sports, hobbies and astrological signs.

Baron, a Leo who enjoys raising rats for scientific studies, cranks on Regal’s arm, which once had a tryout for the Washington Redskins. Jones comes in to work on the arm as well before it’s back to the Baron for a shoulder breaker. Regal tries to get a rollup but gets beaten down and caught in Baron’s claw. Pedro tries to make a save but the hold stays on and Regal gets pinned.

Rating: C-. It’s very strange to see Pedro as just a guy instead of one of the top stars in the promotion. He wasn’t treated like anything special and this was basically a squash. The NWA was a totally different world from the NWA and this is a good example of why. Also, things were so much calmer here than in the WWF matches and it helped things a bit.

Back to the WWF with Pedro facing Baron Mikel Scicluna on TV in 1980.

Baron Mikel Scicluna vs. Pedro Morales

Baron hammers away to start but Pedro shoves him away and claps a lot. The Baron cranks on a top wristlock to no avail as Pedro shoves him down again. With the holds not working, Baron hammers away and takes Pedro into the corner. Morales takes him down to the mat for an armbar but Baron gets into the ropes. Now it’s Baron cranking on the arm and they hit the mat for some grappling. It’s Morales working on a leg lock before they get back up for some…brawling? Pedro grabs a backslide for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. This was a very different kind of match and the grappling was very odd to see from a brawler like Morales. Scicluna is a guy that I just do not get the appeal of as he’s never shown me anything. Naturally he’s in the Hall of Fame because if you wrestled in the 70s you’re an automatic candidate.

Pedro would appear at Showdown at Shea in 1980.

Tag Titles: Bob Backlund/Pedro Morales vs. Wild Samoans

Backlund is world champion and this is 2/3 falls. Basically this would be Cena/Orton vs. the tag champions if the tag titles were a big deal. Backlund is way over as is Morales. Vince says in the corner to his left are the champions. The corner is empty but who cares about little things like those? According to Foley it’s FAR more interesting to talk to Backlund than to Afa, which doesn’t surprise me at all.

As far as the relations here, Afa and Sika are brothers I believe. Afa’s kids include Samu and Manu while Sika’s son is Rosey and he has another son in FCW. More or less picture it like this: if they’re Samoan and a wrestler, they’re probably related to each other. Cole talks about Pedro being a former WWE Champion which makes me think of him holding the spinner belt. We get some discussion of the New York curfew which meant that no wrestling could happen after 11. Matches would just stop at that time due to state laws. Imagine a big match just stopping at that point.

This is being written hours after the final NXT show on Syfy and there was a This Week in WWE History segment about a Cactus Jack vs. HHH match. Oddly enough Foley and Cole discuss that very match here in a very funny story about Captain Lou wandering down to ringside while the two guys were brawling in the crowd. Apparently Vince and Cole were in the gorilla position (Cole’s words) and Vince looked at him and said “Did Captain Lou just walk to the ring?” “I believe he did.” “Just checking.” Far funnier than it sounds.

We get the famous Samoan nerve hold on Backlund as this has been far more interesting and far more modern of a style match. We get a good example of what a manager can do as he holds Backlund’s tights to keep him in the corner so Sika can beat on him. Foley gives us a rather interesting history of managers. He really knows what he’s talking about as this is the area and company he grew up with. Backlund gets the Atomic Drop (his finisher. It was a much simpler time obviously) and Morales gets an O’Connor Roll (run the other guy into the ropes and roll him backwards into a rollup. You’ve seen it a thousand times. Bret likes to do it.) for the first fall.

Vince flat out screws up and says we have new champions prompting a very interesting question from Foley: who yells at Vince when he screws up? Vince booked the match, Vince made the announcement and he’s told the referee made it 2/3 falls. HUGE BS chant starts us off. The Samoans beat up Morales before the second fall. THE FREAKING COPS TAKE ALBANO OUT! In the biggest city in the country in the middle of the summer, there was NOTHING better for them to do???

Foley starts having a sandwich because he saw Don Muraco do it as everything goes insane. Backlund gets a Piledriver on Sika to bring in both other guys. The commentary here is cracking me up. Backlund goes for a belly to back on Sika but Afa hits him in the head, prompting Backlund to…..fall backwards and drive Sika into the mat in a belly to back suplex. Pedro hits a dropkick on Sika so Backlund can pin him. They would have to forfeit the titles because Backlund couldn’t hold the tag and world titles so the Samoans got them back.

Rating: B. Most fun any of the matches so far tonight have been with the crowd being WAY into it and the guys having a great time out there. This worked as all four guys were pretty solid if not very good in the ring. The booking is a bit odd if they were just going to give the titles back to the Samoans. Why not a disqualification or something like that?

Pedro would become one of the first Intercontinental Champions. Here’s a defense in MSG on June 8, 1981.

Intercontinental Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Pedro Morales

They shove each other to start before it quickly turns into a slugout with Sarge taking him down to the mat. Pedro comes back with a hard left hand and sends Slaughter into the corner. Back up and Morales lays in more left hands but Slaughter pulls out a foreign object. Some American. He doesn’t even buy domestic. Slaughter loads it into his elbow pad and knocks Morales silly but doesn’t cover. Morales can barely get up so Slaughter goes up top, only to get slammed down as Pedro was goldbricking. The champ hammers away so Slaughter nails the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These Morales brawls are kind of hard to sit through in a long stretch. This didn’t have much time due to the lame ending but I’m assuming it was to set up a rematch down the line. Slaughter was rapidly becoming a huge deal at this point though it was still a few years away.

Another defense in Philadelphia on February 22, 1982.

Intercontinental Title: Pedro Morales vs. Jimmy Snuka

Snuka has only been around for a few months at this point but the fans are loving him, despite him being a heel. The announcers aren’t sure what to do with him because they know he’s popular but he’s supposed to be the evil savage. He has a thing for flowers apparently. Snuka wrestles barefoot which is another thing that made him different. The fans here are split which is a weird sight.

They fight over a top wristlock to start and Snuka complains of a hair pull. Snuka takes it to the mat with arm control and Dick Worhle is the referee. He died a few days ago so that’s kind of sad to see. Now Snuka pulls the hair to keep the advantage. See how easy a heel move that is? Such little things like that one are just lost in modern wrestling.

Snuka runs him over and headbutts Pedro down as the fans applaud. Now keep in mind: Pedro is a very popular guy. He held the IC Title forever and was a former world champion. However, Snuka was a totally different kind of guy and the fans, especially the Philly crazy people, took notice and loved him. Pedro is in trouble and gets knocked to the floor by a forearm. All Snuka so far.

Out to the floor and Pedro goes into the apron. Back in and Pedro is almost knocked right back out. Off to a chinlock for a few moments and Pedro FINALLY gets up. He hits his first decent offense of the match in the form of a backdrop but Snuka takes him right back down again. A middle rope headbutt half kills Pedro and you would think that Snuka was the top guy in the company based on the fans’ reactions.

That only gets two though and Snuka has a headache from the headbutt. Pedro grabs the face and works it over (that’s not something I’m used to typing) and starts his comeback. He hits his big left and Jimmy looks like he’s dancing. Out to the floor and Snuka tastes the steel. A BIG left hand sends Snuka flying into the ropes. Snuka rakes the eyes which doesn’t really do much good. Pedro hits a knee to the chin and then shoves the referee because of that firey Latin temper of him. Now Pedro throws him to the floor and it’s a LAME DQ.

Rating: C+. Well it wasn’t a classic or anything as Pedro was way too fond of just throwing the left hand but the crowd was very energetic for this as they were both very popular guys. Notice that the match is very similar to the rest of them but the names are bigger. There wasn’t much variety in this era and it shows badly at times.

Another title defense on March 14, 1982.

Intercontinental Title: Pedro Morales vs. Adrian Adonis

Since Adrian never held this title, Pedro is defending. Joined in progress (again) as this is an Archives match. They slug it out and the fans are of course way into Pedro. He knocks Adonis to the floor and is slow even here in what I think is about 1980. They ram each other into various things and Pedro misses a shoulder back inside. That ring sounds very metallic. The American hits a German on the Puerto Rican and they do the suplex but one guy gets his shoulder up in time spot to keep the title on Pedro. Too short to rate but bad as always on this tape.

Against a fellow Hall of Famer in MSG on January 22, 1983.

Intercontinental Title: Pedro Morales vs. Don Muraco

This is from MSG in January of 83. Morales had taken the title from Muraco over a year ago. See, back then title reigns were VERY different. The title was introduced in 1979 and Ricky Steamboat was the 11^th reign in 1987. In 8 years, the title changed hands 10 times. Think about that. Of the first ten reigns, the shortest was five months. Today, that would be a long reign. Back then it was by far the shortest. Three of the first ten lasted over a year. Think about that for a minute and now compare it to today.

As for this match, Muraco jumps the champ in the corner but Morales fights back quickly. Morales rips half of the shirt off Muraco and the challenger is in trouble. Corner sunset flip gets two for Morales. Muraco has a sleeve of his shirt still hanging off his arm. Pedro knocks him to the floor and this is all Morales so far. Muraco does a Flair Flop off the apron to the floor.

Pedro goes up top but doesn’t dive onto him as Don hides under the floor. That was pretty smart. Muraco tries to hide as Morales stalks him. Boot to the back of the head and it’s all Pedro. Gorilla criticizes him for not going for the kill, which is pretty good analysis. And there’s a low blow by Muraco and both guys are down. Still using the t-shirt, Muraco chokes Pedro with it in the corner, only to get low blowed as well.

Ok NOW the t-shirt is finally gone. A running knee in the corner misses for Morales though and he might have blown it out. There’s a lot of blowing in this match. Muraco moves in on it with a leg snap out of the corner. Clipped to a spinning toe hold being countered by Pedro. Morales, ever the genius, tries a backbreaker (despite sending Muraco’s shoulder into the post on the counter) and reinjures his knee. Boston Crab (Pedro’s finisher) is quickly broken by the ropes. Pedro tries a slam but the knee buckles and Muraco falls on top for the pin and the second title change in two matches on this tape.

Rating: C-. Not great or anything but again it’s really cool to see these rarities as you always hear about how these legends held titles but you never see how they won them. Pedro was far better in the 70s than 80s as he was washed up at this point, but he could still put people over, which is what he did here. Decent stuff, although a lot of stalling hurt it.

Pedro would leave for awhile before returning in the mid 80s. Here he is on January 11, 1986.

Pedro Morales vs. Terry Funk

We’re in Boston here in I’d guess early 86. Gene tells us about Morales holding what we would now call the Triple Crown. Morales is at the end of his career here but he was still big enough of a draw to be brought into the big New England crowds. Morales hammers away and Funk is all messed up early on. Then again he might just be Terry Funk. Funk comes back in and throws Pedro onto the announce table.

Morales may have injured a hamstring on the fall. Funk hammers him in the head and does a little Ali Shuffle. He keeps peppering Morales and they go out onto the table again. Funk actually pulls the headset off of Gorilla who implies a showdown later on. That could actually be worth seeing. Or maybe that was Jimmy Hart. Pedro goes shoulder first into the post and this has been totally one sided so far.

Funk pulls some tape out of his tights and chokes away. Morales gets it though and here comes the firey Latin temper that he was famous for. He knocks Terry around as Jimmy is freaking out on the floor. Funk gets knocked to the floor and the steps get turned over. He goes head first into them and hides under them like a true cowardly heel. Pedro teases jumping off the top but settles for drilling Funk upside the head. Funk does a perfect Flair Flop off the apron to the floor.

I don’t think I’ve seen anything other than punches in this match so far and that’s made it awesome. Funk is all over the place, looking either drunk or old. In other words, he’s perfectly fine. Back to the floor again and Terry finds a wooden chair under the ring but it doesn’t get used. Instead Pedro punches him some more and kicks him in the back. Funk gets his trunks pulled down and that’s an image I really didn’t need to see twice in one night. Jimmy slips Funk the Megaphone and a shot to the head ends this.

Rating: B-. This was a great old school brawl from two great old school brawlers. Funny how something like that works isn’t it? Pedro was more or less done after this and it’s not like Funk ever did much in his run in the WWF. At least after this he went back to the NWA where he was much more successful.

Next up was a feud to get the Intercontinental Title back, including this match in MSG on August 25, 1986.

Intercontinental Title: Randy Savage vs. Pedro Morales

Randy grabs a headlock to start but Pedro shoves him away to freak Savage out. A shoulder block gets two for Pedro so Savage throws a chair in. Back in and Randy gets a foreign object to rake Morales’ eyes. Pedro is sent into the barricade and Savage drops the top rope ax handle. A suplex back in is good for two but Pedro gets in a left hand to knock Savage out of the air. Back in and a sunset flip, small package and backslide get two each for Pedro before a big left hand knocks Savage to the floor. Savage misses a chair shot and gets counted out.

Rating: D+. This was part of the Savage vs. Legends tour as he had a feud with Sammartino over the Intercontinental Title as well. There wasn’t anything to see here but the fans in MSG were going to get behind the legendary Morales. This was the usually dull Morales match and not much more.

Off to the Big Event a few days later.

Harley Race vs. Pedro Morales

They’re both old and they’re both fat. They’re also rather slow and it’s not interesting at all anymore. The main event is next so this is likely Hogan’s effort to make people forget the previous good match so that he looks good next. He did it to the whole company in about 8 years with WCW. The referees have more or less sucked all night as they never count fast enough. Race gets a double leg trip and uses the ropes for the easy pin. Nothing match.

Pedro would hook up with Title Santana for a brief run at the end of his run. Here’s one of their matches on Superstars, January 31, 1987.

Tito Santana/Pedro Morales vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

WOW there are a lot of stereotypes in there. Morales is a guy that I haven’t gotten to comment on much but he’s a straight up legend. He’s the first Triple Crown winner if nothing else. Volkoff’s singing was a great gimmick. I love that. The heels get jumped like good heels should and the Latin stereotypes take over. Morales and Volkoff start us off and Morales is put simply old and fat.

He’s still firey though so I can give him that one. Sheik’s in ring work is underrated I think. For no apparent reason we get no mention of Sheik and Morales being former world champions. That would be a big selling point to me if nothing else. Slick swings the cane but I think it hits Volkoff by mistake. It’s not really clear though. Tito beats up Slick and that might be a DQ.

Rating: C+. They were feuding so it adds up at least. Yeah the faces win on a DQ…I guess because of Slick interfering? Butch Reed comes out which I guess sets up…Koko vs. Reed at Mania? Actually what we saw here was pretty good. Nothing great but for four guys that are ok and two of which are over the hill, not bad at all. I guess Reed is feuding with Santana now. Whatever.

Morales is an interesting case as he certain has the credentials (first Triple Crown winner and longest combined reign ever as Intercontinental Champion) but has basically been forgotten. When is the last time you heard his name mentioned in modern WWE? You just do not hear about him anymore and it’s kind of interesting to see. His in ring work certainly wasn’t the best but he could get a crowd behind him and that’s all he needed to do, especially if people came to see him.

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Time for the perfect combination of beauty and power: Beth Phoenix.

Phoenix got her start in 2001 and we’ll pick things up in 2004 at a WXW show. I don’t know where that is either.

Elite 8 Second Round: Beth Phoenix vs. Angel Williams

Angel is better known as Angelina Love. Phoenix comes in holding her neck so Williams grabs two quick rollups for a near fall each. We quickly hit a chinlock to work on Beth’s neck but Phoenix comes back with a gutwrench suplex. Angel slaps on a dragon sleeper but Tracy Brooks and a chick named Belladonna come out for a distraction, allowing Beth to grab a quick rollup for the pin.

Beth would sign with WWE and be sent to OVW, including this match on March 22, 2006.

Beth Phoenix vs. Trinity

If nothing else Trinity comes out to Sad But True by Metallica, making her even more awesome than usual. Trinity takes Beth down and hammers away with forearms, sending Phoenix running out to the floor. Back in and Beth tries a Whiplash but Trinity slips out, only to get speared down for two. An O’Connor Roll gets two for Trinity so Beth slaps her a lot. Trinity calmly grabs her for a Rock Bottom and Beth rolls to the floor. Trinity goes up for a dive but Beth moves, giving us a great looking crash. Beth smiles at Trinity probably having about nineteen broken bones and takes her back in for a super Whiplash and the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here but I’ve always liked Trinity. That missed dive and the Whiplash (fireman’s carry into a sitout Death Valley Driver) looked awesome. Both girls were nailing it here but the time hurt them a lot. Trinity never did much in WWE but was kind of a deal in TNA a few years earlier.

It was off to WWE soona fter that with Beth getting an early title shot at No Mercy 2007.

Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Candice Michelle

Candace is defending and looks like an idiot with the angel’s wings on her outfit. Beth throws her into the corner to start but Candice manages a nice bridging cradle for two. She goes for Beth’s arm but we get the Davey Boy Smith/Shawn Michaels move of the pullup from the ground. Powerslam gets two and it’s off to a chinlock.

Actually it’s a cobra clutch but it’s the same idea. Candice climbs the corner ala Bret vs. Austin for two but can’t break the hold. She finally rams Beth into the buckle to escape and a top rope cross body gets two, as does a sunset flip out of the corner. Beth grabs her into a fisherman’s buster which is enough for the pin and the title.

Rating: C-. Candice was supposed to be the next big thing in the Divas division but this was her only title reign and not many people really remember her. Beth would become a much bigger deal with multiple title reigns, including the one that is going on now which will seemingly never end. This wasn’t bad.

Here’s a defense of that title at Armageddon 2007.

Women’s Title: Mickie James vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is champion here. Mickie tries to attack the knees but that doesn’t get her anywhere. Neither does a rana attempt. Beth puts on a dragon sleeper and then the double chickenwing which Beth escapes. Now the rana works and there’s a Thesz Press. Neckbreaker puts Beth down but she didn’t cover. And never mind as Beth hits a release fisherman’s suplex for the pin to retain.

Rating: D-. The match sucked but any time you have Beth in a shirt and Mickie in small amounts of clothing, the match simply isn’t a failure. The match was just a way to give the fans a breather before we get to the main event, which is all that’s left. Nothing of note here and Beth dominated the majority of the match.

Off to Wrestlemania XXIV.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

This is a Playboy lumberjill match with Snoop Dogg as master of ceremonies in a golf cart. Snoop of course comes out with all of the lumberjills because that’s what Snoop would do. Ashley is her usual self and Maria looks great. Also, her theme song continues to be ridiculously catchy. Oh and Beth is Women’s Champion and has Santino with her. Melina has uh….wings.

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

Melina hits a moonsault off of Beth’s shoulders for two before we get a stupid trip from Ashley. Off to Maria for some kicks as the lights go out. They finally get a spotlight on as this continues to fall apart. Maria tries to counter the Glam Slam into a bulldog but can’t even do that right. Melina breaks up the pin and we get heel miscommunication. Maria hits a kind of top rope bulldog but Santino breaks up the pin. Lawler punches out Santino but Beth hits a fisherman’s buster for the pin on Maria.

Rating: F+. That’s ALL for Maria looking great. I forgot this match was a lumberjill match after about a minute and the rest of the girls couldn’t even be seen after that long. Maria was TERRIBLE here and she was the better worker on her team. This didn’t work at all and was the disaster to end all disasters for Divas matches.

Here’s a lame match with an awesome visual at One Night Stand 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Recaps? Context? Point to the match? Who needs those stupid things? This is an I Quit match. We get a clip from Judgment Day of Beth hitting a double backbreaker on Melina and Mickie at the same time which is rather awesome. Dang it’s fun to watch Melina gyrate. Beth backs her into the ropes immediately to intimidate her so Melina grabs a guillotine choke of all things and Beth is in trouble early.

Beth easily counters out of it but it was working for awhile. Backbreaker gives Beth control and a bow and arrow has Melina in trouble. Something resembling a face jam/tornado DDT to Beth sets up an Indian Deathlock with a bridge which is always awesome looking. Beth crawls to the floor because ropes mean nothing. That looked pretty cool at least. Over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in trouble as there is no flow to this match at all.

The fans want Chyna which should tell you how uninteresting this is. JR and King kind of shut up for a bit as Beth puts on a chinlock. Melina manages to send her into the middle buckle and Beth’s shoulder hits the post a bit later. Headscissors sets up an armbar, almost like La Mistica. Cross Armbreaker goes on as the crowd flat out does not care. Off to an arm choke but Beth is like screw that and hits a powerbomb to break it. Seated double chickenwing goes on and Melina looks like she’s about to cry. Beth then grabs the chin and pulls back to the point where Melina’s head is touching her own feet and that’s it.

Rating: D+. Another ridiculously boring match but at least Beth was hot. Seriously, other than that there was next to nothing going on here. Also, Divas don’t need ten minutes because it doesn’t take that long to go buy a Coke. Pretty weak match overall and nothing special in the slightest.

Beth would start dating Santino Marella, setting up this double title match at Summerslam 2008.

Intercontinental Title/Women’s Title: Glamarella vs. Mickie James/Kofi Kingston

Mickie and Kofi have both belts coming in but the winning team walks out with all the gold. Kofi is still relatively new here and has only won the IC Title once, as opposed to his 89 or so reigns now. The girls get things going with Beth easily overpowering James. Mickie comes back with some quick dropkicks for two before it’s off to Santino. James easily monkey flips him over before it’s off to Kofi for some of his usual stuff. The jumping punches in the corner have Santino on the floor where Beth yells at him.

Kingston loads up a charge but hangs on, only to send Santino jumping into Beth’s arms. Kofi pulls him back in but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for one. Beth beats on Kofi for a bit before bringing Santino back in for his basic offense. A suplex sets up a chinlock but Kofi fights up and butts heads with Santino, allowing for the double tags to the girls. Mickie cleans house and clotheslines Beth down before snapping off her hurricanrana on Beth. Kofi comes in and misses a charge like an idiot but the MickieDT puts Santino down. Beth decks Mickie and hits the Glam Slam for both titles.

Rating: D+. The match was nothing special and could have been on any given Raw. I don’t know of a better way they could have gotten the title on Santino though so you can’t fault the for trying. Kofi would begin his long float in the midcard which would last for the next several years other than a cup of coffee in the upper midcard. The girls looked good here but that’s about it.

Back to one of her original rivals at No Mercy 2008.

Women’s Title: Candice Michelle vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is defending in the rematch from last year. Candice immediately kicks the knee out for two. A dropkick to the head of Beth as she’s getting up gets the same. An enziguri slows Phoenix down as Candice is starting off fast. A charge is caught and Beth rams her into the buckle to stop that cold.

Beth hooks a modified cross armbreaker which lasts for a few moments. Candice comes back with some of the weakest clotheslines I can ever remember. Her arms are TINY which is what makes them so weak. Beth puts her down and goes up top, only to get crotched and dropkicked for two. Santino had to make the save so Candice dropkicks him through the ropes. Back inside the glam Slam quickly ends this.

Rating: D+. Candice slowly fell down a mountain after she lost the title a year before this. Like I said her offense was mostly dropkicks and not very good ones at that. On top of that there were the clotheslines which were embarrassing. The Divas took a nosedive around this point as the good chicks were just not there with the talent other than one in a handful. Also there were two titles by this point which didn’t help anything at all.

Here’s Beth against a chick she fought about a million times, from Raw on January 19, 2009.

Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Beth is Women’s Champion but this is non-title. This was before Kelly got good. Let that sink in for a minute. Kelly is in a Blackhawks jersey and tries to speed things up, only to get run over. Glam Slam and we’re done in about a minute.

We’ll jump ahead a bit to Bragging Rights 2009.

Michelle McCool/Natalya/Beth Phoenix vs. Melina/Kelly Kelly/Gail Kim

Beth in blue is an amazing sight. This was when Michelle got really hot really fast. Look at the rosters. Who do you think is going to win? Beth and Gail start. Can’t believe I’m typing this but DANG at Michelle. All three Smackdown girls have been in there in less than a minute. Kelly tries a sunset flip. It’s bad. This is just painfully uninteresting as there is less than zero chance for Raw to win two in a row. I mean the match is ok, but people just couldn’t care any less as there is zero drama. Crowd is more or less dead too. Glam Slam ends Melina for the pin.

Rating: W. As in who cares? Like I said, the idea that THIS was going to decide the cup and not the big tag was just ridiculous and it crippled the match. Also the match was just generic as all goodness. This could have been any other Divas match which really shows how bland the division is at this point.

Beth had a chance to get the title back at Extreme Rules 2010.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Michelle McCool

This is an Extreme Makeover match. Michelle looks great of course. The music helps a lot here for her I think. There’s a table of makeup etc at ringside. Beth gets a semi-pop. Can someone shut Beth up? Please? Michelle is possibly the best women’s athlete ever? Really? That’s just pitiful. Basically we’re just making fun of Vickie and using random weapons like hairspray and ironing boards. Beth counters the hairspray again and it’s one on one now. Vickie has a broom. Make your own jokes. Glam Slam ends it like it should have.

Rating: D. And that’s mainly due to Beth’s awesome cleavage in this one. This was a comedy match to put it nicely and it didn’t come off well to put it nicely. The girls looked hot, but having them use things like makeup and ironing boards? Really? The division was just such a mess at this point and this didn’t help things.

A torn ACL kept Beth out of action for months but she was back in time for TLC 2010 and this tag team tables match.

Beth Phoenix/Natalya vs. Laycool

Quick recap video which is of the table on Friday which didn’t work. No tagging here thank goodness. The pink table with the painting from Friday is brought in as Laycool is down early. Crowd is QUIET here. Lawler says he’s never seen a Diva go through a table. That’s just amusing. Double fireman’s carry by Beth is very impressive. Striker makes an important point: any method of going through the table counts. Also it’s only one Diva required for a win.

Laycool in control now as the fans do not care at all. Beth is on the floor now as Laycool takes over. SICK landing by Beth as her foot gets hooked on a rope and she lands straight on her back/head. That was painful as all goodness, it had to be. Michelle sets for a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) through a table on Nattie but Beth comes back for the save.

Not table for Michelle (“JUST WAIT UNTIL MARK HEARS ABOUT THIS!!!”) as Layla rakes Beth’s eyes. Layla beats on Beth for awhile but can’t suplex her through it. Double gorilla press by the blondes to Layla until Michelle kicks both in the ribs. Natalya puts Layla on top of Michelle and puts them BOTH in a Sharpshooter at the same time. TAKE THAT BRET!!!

The nice chicks set up the tables but Michelle sends Beth to the floor to make it 2-1 again. They set for a double superplex but Beth saves again. A lot of near finishes in this one indeed. Down goes Beth so they set for it again but they’re shoved off. The table DID NOT BREAK so Natalya is like screw it and splashes them through it to end this.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t as bad as you would have thought as Laycool fought them off far better than people would have predicted. It was a good match even but did anyone ever think Laycool had a realistic shot out there? Not a bad match or anything but at the same time it didn’t really get me into the match and it kind of dragged. Still fun though and that Sharpshooter was GREAT.

Time for another title run. From Hell in a Cell 2011.

Divas Title: Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly runs at her and hits what are supposed to be Thesz Presses (popular move tonight) and the screaming headscissors which is countered into a backbreaker. Beth takes over and chokes her down with what looks like a dragon sleeper. Off to another backbreaker but this time she bends Kelly over her knee but Kelly counters into a rollup for two. Slingshot suplex gets two for Beth.

Kelly starts her comeback and uses generic offense and a neckbreaker for two. She tries the bad bulldog but Beth counters into a Glam Slam attempt. Beth pounds away in the corner but Kelly fights out and hits the handspring elbow. Cole calls it vintage and Great Muta rolls his eyes somewhere. Top rope bulldog by Kelly gets a very close two. Eve and Nattie get into it on the floor and Eve goes flying into the barricade.

K2 is countered and Beth kicks Kelly between the legs for some reason. Beth hooks up that freaky submission that Natalya has been using lately and Nattie gets on the mic and tells Kelly to scream. Kelly makes the ropes and Natalya pops her with the mic which somehow the referee didn’t hear. Glam Slam FINALLY ends Kelly’s reign at 8:34. Yes they’re that long on time.

Rating: C. This was way too long and I can’t get over the ending: Beth Phoenix needed a mic shot to beat Kelly Kelly? I don’t get that at all as they’ve made Beth look weak already with two straight losses but at least she finally has the belt. I’d assume this sets up Eve vs. Kelly as they fill in as much time as they can for the Kharma return in like another 7 months or however long it is.

Another defense at Vengeance 2011.

Divas Title: Eve Torres vs. Beth Phoenix

We get a clip from earlier in the day with the evil girls attacking Kelly as Eve makes the save. I guess Kelly is Crazy is going into the pool of the forgotten right? Eve has new music too and it sounds awful. At least we can look at her awesome legs. Kelly and Natalya are banned from ringside. Eve grabs a sunset flip to start and we’re talking about Beth’s underwear for some reason.

They fight over to the ropes…and Beth is now handcuffed to the ropes via something on her own outfit. Eve kicks away and Beth is free. Uh, point to that? Beth takes over on the floor and gets two back in the ring. The fans are bored out of their minds here which is saying a lot as they were hot for the first half hour.

Gutbuster kind of move gets two and we’re off to our second rest hold in a minute. Beth slaps her head and screams at her to cry. Eve starts her comeback and puts Beth down with a clothesline and a flipping splash for two. Eve gets some kind of choke out while she on Beth’s shoulders and it turns into something resembling a triangle choke. The cool looking submission doesn’t work though because that might get it over as a finisher and Eve has one of those already. Glam Slam is countered into a rollup for two. Eve gets a kick in and goes up for the moonsault but Beth moves. Glam Slam ends this at 7:16.

Rating: D+. I’ve watched a lot of wrestling in my time and I don’t recall a division or story that I was less interested in than the Divas in WWE at the moment. I mean there is nothing of interest or note at all about them. They kill the crowds other than Kelly and the matches are as unnatural looking as any I’ve ever seen. I mean there is nothing interesting to them at all and I dread watching them every show. The match wasn’t bad. I just didn’t want to watch it.

Another defense from Elimination Chamber 2012.

Divas Title: Tamina Snuka vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth is wearing something inspired by Piper. This match could be subtitled “How many times can we remind you that Tamina is Jimmy Snuka’s daughter in a last ditch effort to make you care about her”. Tamina goes up quickly but gets knocked down to the outside. Beth pounds on her and Tamina barely gets back inside. Tamina gets up and hits a Samoan Drop but the Splash is broken up. Superplex gets two for Beth and Tamina chops her down. Superfly Splash gets two. Tamina goes up again but Beth brings her down, sends her into the buckle and the Glam Slam retains the title at 7:00.

Rating: D+. Call me sexist, call me a chauvinist, call me whatever you want, but I’m bored out of my mind every time the Divas are on screen. They’re waiting on Beth vs. Kharma which basically means they’re spending a year putting the whole division on hold, but at the end of the day is anyone going to care? I mean, who is Kharma going to feud with once she beats Beth? The division means nothing and it’s so uninteresting. The US Title can’t get on PPV because we have to see this. Right.

We’ll wrap up Beth’s WWE run on Raw, October 29, 2012.

AJ vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth glares at AJ to start and says AJ should be scared. Beth shoves her and AJ goes nuts, but Beth slams her down onto the mat. AJ gets her face rubbed into the mat and we head to the floor. AJ gets rammed into the barricade but back inside she grabs a rollup for the pin at 2:08.

Vickie comes out post match and demands more from AJ. Beth jumps her so Vickie says restart the match. Glam Slam gets the pin in like ten seconds.

That would be Beth’s last match as she retired soon after due to some personal issues. Beth was a good choice for the dominant Diva as she was big, strong, and talented but still very good looking as opposed to the usual freakish looking monsters. Unfortunately she didn’t have much talent around her and it showed with a lot of bad matches. Still though, she did her thing quite well.

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Today we have Eyebrows Huffman himself: Maven.

Maven of course won the first Tough Enough competition and entered the 2002 Royal Rumble where he eliminated the Undertaker in a shocker. Undertaker wanted revenge and would put his Hardcore Title on the line on Smackdown, February 7, 2002.

Hardcore Title: Maven vs. Undertaker

Al Snow is in Maven’s corner and looks like he’s heading to a funeral. He slides Maven a trashcan lid for some shots but they just tick Undertaker off even more. The beating begins but Undertaker misses an elbow drop. Not that it matters as he punches a trashcan into Maven’s face. Snow pulls Maven to the floor but Undertaker is fine with hurting him out there as well.

A huge trashcan shot to the head crushes Maven back inside and Snow is thrown over the barricade. Maven is busted open but Snow comes back in with the ring bell. This goes as well as you would expect it to as a big boot drops Snow and Maven gets chokeslammed for two as Undertaker picks him up. There’s a dragon sleeper on Maven but the Rock runs in with a chair. A hard shot to the head and a Rock Bottom give Maven the title in a huge upset.

Rating: D+. This was more of an angle than a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. They had to get the Hardcore Title off Undertaker somehow and using it to further Undertaker vs. Rock is as good a way as any. Maven getting another one over on Undertaker is a good thing too as he gets a huge rub and looks like a much bigger deal than he would have otherwise.

Maven would defend the title at Wrestlemania X8.

Hardcore Title: Goldust vs. Maven

Maven is defending and this is another match with no real story to it. Goldie jumps him during the entrance to take over quickly. A forearm off the railing keeps Maven down and it’s cookie sheet time. We head inside with Maven avoiding a catapult and hitting a kind of Van Daminator with a trashcan and dropkick for two. Goldie neckbreakers him down for two and busts out a shovel. Instead of using it though he whips Maven into the trashcan for two. Goldust puts Maven down with a shot to the head….and here’s Spike Dudley running in for the pin and the title. We’ve got a running joke tonight and I’m not rating this nonsense.

Maven would get a Tag Team Title shot at Backlash 2002.

Tag Titles: Billy/Chuck vs. Maven/Al Snow

Snow and Maven clear the ring to start and Snow puts on a headband. Maven and Chuck officially get us going but it’s off to Billy very fast. Billy and Chuck are champions in case you’re really new at this. Maven comes back with a DDT but can’t make the tag. Snow is like screw it and runs in to beat on Billy. Off to Snow who cleans a house which wasn’t that dirty in the first place.

Snow gets taken down by Chuck and the beating begins. Swinging neckbreaker gets two for Billy. The fans tell Rico that he’s gay. Billy misses a corner splash and it’s hot tag to Maven. He hits the one move he was good at, the dropkick, to send Billy to the floor. Snow gets caught by a superkick but Rico accidentally kicks Chuck’s head off. Top rope cross body gets two for Maven. Snow has to chase Rico so Chuck kicks Maven’s head off to retain.

Rating: D. Not much here but it was happening to bridge the two main events which was fine. Billy and Chuck would crank up the overtones soon enough while Maven and Snow wouldn’t go anywhere as a team, or alone for that matter. There isn’t much to say about this match because it was only there to fill in time, which is understandable. More Rico would have helped.

Things would settle down after this and Maven would get back to singles action on Smackdown, May 30, 2002.

Christian vs. Maven

Christian stomps away during Maven’s entrance but Maven throws him to the floor for a plancha. Back in and Christian hits the reverse DDT backbreaker. His superplex is blocked though and a middle rope bulldog gets two. Maven goes up top but gets kicked in the head by an interfering Tajiri (Maven had been hitting on Tajiri’s girlfriend Torrie), setting up the Unprettier for the pin.

Maven would miss most of the rest of the year but returned in early 2003, including this match on Raw, January 13, 2003.

Maven/Test vs. D’Lo Brown/Christopher Nowitski

Test gets double teamed to start until Chris gets to pound on him a bit. Again Test gets double teamed but has a bit better success this time and brings in Maven who winds up getting caught in a spinebuster by Nowitski. Brown gets two off a flapjack and it’s back to Nowitski. Maven gets beaten down even more as this is going NOWHERE. Cold tag brings in Test and house is cleaned but Chris saves Brown from a pumphandle powerslam. The big boot misses Brown and sends Test to the floor before Maven walks into the Sky High. He isn’t legal though so Test comes in and kicks Brown’s head off for the pin.

Rating: F+. Stacy looked great in the dress and that’s the extent of anything positive about this match. Other than that, there was NOTHING going on here at all with four guys that no one cared about having a boring match. That basically sums up Raw in a single sentence: a bunch of boring matches that no one cares about.

Another Raw match on February 3, 2003.

Maven vs. D’Lo Brown

They trade hiptoss attempts until Maven armdrags him down. We hit the mat with Maven holding a headlock as the fans are bored already. Brown comes back with a kneelift and sends Maven into the buckle as the booing continues. Maven hits what looked to be a spin kick and a backslide for two and a middle rope bulldog gets the same. Maven misses a missile dropkick and the Sky High powerbomb is good for the pin.

Rating: D-. This match exists. Next.

We’ll jump ahead to Sunday Night Heat at some point in June 2003.

Maven vs. Mike Knox

Knox shoves him into the corner to start but gets caught in an armbar. Off to a hammerlock as commentator Al Snow is very proud of his student. A dropkick stops Mike’s comeback and we hit another armbar. Knox sends him into the buckle and gets two off a neckbreaker, only to miss a middle rope elbow. A nice spinwheel kick gets two for Maven and he nails a middle rope bulldog. Maven heads up top for a missile dropkick and the pin.

Rating: D. Maven gets less impressive every time I watch him. There’s just nothing to him and he never has anything worth watching. To be fair though he was a glorified rookie at this point who didn’t have enough experience to do anything significant in the ring. Nothing to see here and Knox was just a jobber.

Time for comedy on Raw, June 30, 2003.

Maven vs. Rico

This is when Rico was as over the top as ever. Rico rubs the back of Maven’s trunks to start before rolling around in a circle. He reaches down his own tights and pulls out a hotel key as this is getting old already. Maven tries a sunset flip but Rico sits on his face for two. A side headlock has Maven in trouble and Rico kisses him on the cheek. Rico dances a bit and his chick Miss Jackie trips Maven up, allowing Rico to fire off some kicks for two. Maven comes back with a series of clotheslines and the required atomic drop. Jackie saves Rico after a middle rope bulldog, allowing Rico to hit a spinwheel kick for the pin.

Rating: D-. I really don’t like comedy matches like this as it’s as over the top as you can get and clearly there for the lowest common denominator. This felt like filler as this isn’t leading anywhere and was designed to make fans feel uncomfortable with Rico being so over the top.

Here’s a match that might surprise you. From Heat on July 13, 2003.

HHH vs. Maven

Non-title and HHH is in the rare blue trunks. HHH grabs a cross face chickenwing of all things to get started, sending Maven running for the ropes. A snapmare puts Maven down and HHH pats his jaw a bit. Maven comes back with some dropkicks to knock HHH out to the floor and the Game is annoyed. Back in and HHH throws him hard to the floor but Maven sends him face first into the steps.

We take a break and come back with Maven grabbing a swinging neckbreaker to put both guys down. Trips stomps away in the corner and a spinebuster gets two. There’s the knee drop for the same but Maven comes back with a forearm to the face. Maven nails a spinwheel kick for two more but HHH sends him out to the floor.

Like the real hero he is, Maven nails him in the face with the title belt for two, only to walk into a sleeper. Maven counters into one of his own and the arm goes down three times but HHH gets a boot on the ropes. Trips sends the referee into the ropes to crotch Maven but Eyebrows comes back with a middle rope bulldog for a close near fall. Not that it matters as HHH grabs a quick Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D+. The problem here was there was no reason to buy into Maven’s near falls. At the end of the day, it’s Maven against the World Champion on the C show. This is like the old days where Flair would have one off matches against no names and try to make them feel like something important but it didn’t quite work here. Maven was trying though and the match could have been much worse.

More Evolution on Raw, August 25, 2003.

Maven vs. Randy Orton

Shawn Michaels comes out with Maven to counteract Flair. Feeling out process to start with Maven taking him to the mat but getting caught in the backbreaker for two. Some right hands have Maven in trouble and the old guys get on the apron to do nothing. The referee only goes after Shawn of course and Flair gets in a cheap shot. Shawn superkicks Ric down but Orton stays on Maven like the rookie he is. The RKO is countered and Maven nails a spinwheel kick followed by a high cross body for two. Orton sidesteps a charge and hits the RKO but pulls Maven up at two. Instead Orton hits Sweet Chin Music for the pin.

Rating: D. The Maven issues continue as he just isn’t hitting the next level. He’s certainly not bad and most of his stuff works, but it’s just so many notches below the people he’s in there with. Granted that’s far more the WWE’s fault as he’s been wrestling for about two years, which is nowhere near long enough to be on national TV.

Maven wouldn’t do much of anything for over a year, so let’s put him in the main event of the 2004 Survivor Series.

Team HHH vs. Team Orton

HHH, Edge, Batista, Gene Snitsky

Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Chris Benoit, Maven

HHH is world champion. Maven isn’t here due to the earlier attack. It’s interesting to think that it would be Batista rather than Orton that would rise up out of this match as the real star. Not that Orton isn’t a star, but Batista was without a doubt the biggest star in the company in 2005 and part of 2006. For some reason Edge comes out last. Benoit vs. Edge to start which is fine with me. Benoit destroys Edge and knocks him to the floor to start but it’s off to Orton vs. Snitsky.

Orton pounds him down with ease before it’s Jericho in off the tag. HHH comes in but Jericho immediately elbows him down and brings in Orton to no response. Orton can’t challenge for the world title because of some stipulation due to losing to Flair. Great way to make sure the fans get behind him there right? Make it clear that no matter how awesome he is, he’s not getting the title shot.

Batista comes in and has some better luck with Randy, firing off shoulders into the corner. Edge is in now and he mocks Orton’s pose in an often done bit. Edge draws in Jericho for no apparent reason, but it allows Orton to clothesline Edge back down. Off to Benoit as the fans are dead for this match for some reason. Benoit cleans house and suplexes everyone in sight. Edge prevents a Swan Dive onto HHH, so HHH suplexes Edge onto HHH and Swan Dives both of them for two.

Everything breaks down even more and HHH gets caught in the Sharpshooter by Benoit. Snitsky makes the save and Edge gets put in the Crossface. This time Batista saves, allowing HHH to Pedigree Benoit and give Edge the pin for the elimination. Jericho comes in to pound away on Edge but HHH and Snitsky get in an argument. Batista comes to HHH’s defense but has to break up the Walls on HHH instead.

Flair trips up Jericho and gets ejected for his efforts. Flair walks up the aisle but comes back a second later to allow Batista to kill Orton and Jericho. There’s the spinebuster to Jericho but Orton hits Big Dave with the belt, allowing Jericho to hit the enziguri on Batista for the pin. Jericho hits the springboard dropkick to knock Snitsky onto HHH on the floor but Batista kills Jericho with the clothesline before leaving.

It’s Snitsky vs. Jericho at the moment with Snitsky choking away. Edge comes in and pounds on his fellow Canadian but gets caught in the sleeper drop to put both guys down. Orton gets shoved to the floor and Edge and HHH double team him for a bit. Jericho DDTs Snitsky down….and here comes Maven. He goes right after Snitsky and takes him down with a forearm as things seem to go into slow motion.

Maven bulldogs HHH down and is all fired up, but Snitsky kills him with a chair shot for a DQ. HHH covers the dead Maven for the easy elimination. Edge keeps covering Jericho but can’t get more than a bunch of two’s. It’s Orton/Jericho vs. HHH/Edge if you’re keeping score. A spear puts Jericho out and it’s 2-1 with Orton in trouble. Orton says bring it on and is promptly beaten down in the corner.

Edge suplexes Orton down and holds him while HHH pounds away. Orton punches away at HHH but gets DDT’d down for two. Edge comes back in and gets slammed down before getting dropkicked into HHH on the apron. That gets two off a rollup from Orton but he walks into a HHH spinebuster. We get the required heel miscommunication as Edge spears HHH down and walks into an RKO for the pin. It’s down to Orton vs. HHH with the Game hitting Orton low as Edge leaves. The Pedigree is countered into the RKO for the final pin.

Rating: B. The match was good stuff but as I said earlier, Orton pinning HHH doesn’t mean anything. Somehow Orton would get a title match at the Rumble through means I don’t remember where HHH would destroy Orton once and for all. I think I’m the only person on the planet that liked Orton’s first main event face run so when I watched this I was digging it at the time. It turned out they got lucky with Batista, but the Orton face run could have been more if HHH hadn’t hacked the legs out from under it.

As a result, Maven got to be GM of Raw the next night and of course gave himself a World Title shot.

Raw World Title: Maven vs. HHH

HHH offers the bandaged Maven a way out of this but Eyebrows wants the match. Benoit and Jericho come out to offer some support and counteract Flair and Batista. Maven hammers away to start and gets two off a dropkick before grabbing a headlock. A Flair distraction lets Batista get in a cheap shot but the referee tosses him out. Flair protests and is gone as well, leaving us one on one, assuming you don’t count the Canadians at ringside.

HHH nails the running knee and the spinning spinebuster for two before hooking an abdominal stretch. Benoit yells at HHH and gets Maven a breather but HHH stays on the glorified jobber. Now Jericho offers a distraction, allowing Benoit to send HHH into the steps. Jericho gets in a cheap shot as well and Maven has an advantage….only to get caught in the facebuster.

Benoit trips Trips and Maven nails a spinwheel kick for two. A high cross body misses but Jericho comes in with the bulldog and Lionsault. That’s only good for two because Maven is just that pathetic. The Pedigree connects but Jericho puts Maven’s foot on the ropes. The referee finally ejects him but the distraction lets Benoit hit a release German suplex and the Swan Dive to give Maven another two.

Edge comes in and spears the referee by mistake so Jericho and Benoit come in to beat him down. Now Batista comes in and cleans out the Canadians but Orton runs in to nail HHH with the belt. Flair pulls the referee out at two so Randy beats on Ric. Now Snitsky comes out to beat up Orton and kick Maven’s head off, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: C. This worked for a totally different reason than it should have. I was cracking up watching three former World Champions trying to make Maven a threat to HHH but it just wasn’t going to happen. It turned into a cartoon at the end and believe it or not I was having a great time with it, even though Maven had as much chance of winning the title here as the bottle of water next to me.

Reality would set in and Maven would turn heel to no reaction. Here he is at New Year’s Revolution 2005.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Maven

No backstory here at all as it’s more or less just a random title match. This was more or less the last ditch effort to make Maven mean a thing. Amazingly enough it didn’t work at all. Shelton is WAY over here as this was right before the hottest period of his career and four months before the match with Shawn that made him the hottest thing on the planet and is still his career highlight.

The heat on Maven is excellent. He cuts a promo in the middle of the match, saying that he doesn’t know how many people here speak English. He’s getting some very decent heat here. I’m almost impressed. He throws in a little Spanish, telling the fans to shut their mouths. This is a fine idea but this has gone on five minutes.

And now he’s leaving. He changes his mind at 9 and turns back to the ring. Literally 5 seconds after he gets in he gets rolled up for a pin. He gets on the mic and says he wants another match because that didn’t count. Shelton comes in, the bell rings, he hits the Exploder Suplex and it’s over in 5 seconds.

Rating: N/A. WHAT WAS THE FREAKING POINT OF THIS??? Literally this was ten minutes that just made no sense at all and there were two “matches”. What in the world was going on here? I flat out do not get this, but if it was an actual match it would fail and fail hard.

One more Evolution match. From Raw on February 7, 2005.

Maven vs. Batista

Maven is a cocky heel at this point and doesn’t get an entrance. What do you think is going to happen here? He’s mad he wasn’t in the Rumble and calls conspiracy. Cue Big Dave and this is exactly what you would expect. The run time is 32 seconds if you’re curious. These fans are losing their minds over a total squash. He really needs I Walk Alone which he would get soon after winning the title.

We’ll wrap it up with Maven as Simon Dean’s protege on Heat, April 17, 2005.

Maven/Simon Dean vs. Russell Simpson/CM Punk

Lillian doesn’t know Simpson’s name. Simpson armdrags Maven down to start and gets caught in an armbar. It’s quickly off to Punk for some kicks to the arm as Coach thinks the team is called CM Punk. Maven takes him to the ropes and chokes a bit before it’s off to Dean for a floatover suplex and two. Back to Maven who misses a dropkick, allowing the tag off to Simpson. A double spinebuster is enough for the pin on Russell.

Rating: D+. It’s always fun to see someone like this before they became a big deal, even though no one seemed to know his name. The match wasn’t anything of note but what else are you expecting from a three minute match on Heat? Simpson never went anywhere as far as I can tell.

At the end of the day, Maven just didn’t have it. He tried and could have been far worse, but no one ever bought him as someone that mattered. Trying to put him in the main event scene in late 2004 didn’t work, but at least they were trying something new. Maven tried but you can only get so far on winning a contest.

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Today we’ve got a big power wrestler that used to be undead: Brian Lee.

Like so many others, Lee got his start in Memphis. We’ll pick things up in his rookie year on March 5, 1989.

Jim McPherson/Brian Lee vs. Dutch Mantel/Master of Pain

Mantel is better known today as Zeb Colter and Master of Pain is better known as, ahem, the Undertaker. Lee locks up with Dutch to start and it’s quickly off to the Master. A right hand has no effect on Master so it’s off to Jim for some meaningless kicks to the ribs. Master kicks Lee in the face and brings Dutch back in for a thumb to the eye. Back to the Master who no sells a dropkick and hammers away in the corner. A powerslam doesn’t get a cover as it’s back to Dutch for some choking with a tag rope. We’re running out of time so Master plants Jim with a Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a squash that was running against the clock. As usual it’s always cool to see people who are going to become big deals in the future when they’re just starting out. Everyone has to learn at some point and Undertaker had a lot of the traits going for him that would make him famous later.

Brian would get a tryout match for WCW at Clash of the Champions XIII.

Brian Lee vs. Z-Man

Lee is a tall but not very thick guy who would become a bigger deal later in his career in ECW under the same name and then the WWF as Chainz. This is his tryout match here as the Clash of the Champions continues to be a place to put a bunch of new guys on TV. He runs Z-Man over with a hard shoulder block but walks into a hiptoss to speed things up for a few seconds. It’s only a few seconds though as Z-Man misses a cross body and crashes to the mat. We hit the chinlock on Z-Man but he easily fights up, slams Lee and gets the pin off a missile dropkick.

Rating: D. This was another short match in a series of them tonight and the formula didn’t work all that well here. Z-Man’s comeback and pin came within a span of fifteen seconds so there wasn’t any time to get into it. It’s not a terrible match but it didn’t have the time to go anywhere and what we got wasn’t much to see.

Time for a cup of coffee in Puerto Rico. From WWC in 1991.

California Studs vs. Invader #4/Jerry Mercado

The Studs are Lee and the Dirty White Boy Tony Anthony before he was dirty, though he has the white part down. Lee and the much smaller Invader get things going before it’s off to Mercado. Brian shrugs off a wristlock and nails a clothesline followed by a double back elbow from the Studs. It’s quickly back to Lee for a big boot before Anthony plants Mercado with a powerslam. Brian’s top rope knee gets the fast pin.

Rating: D. Another dull match here and the Dirty White Boy didn’t help anything out. I would have thought one of the 984 Invaders would have been a bit bigger deal than a jobber to a team like the Dirty White Boy and the eventual fake Undertaker. Nothing to see here, but Brian needs to stop using so many basic holds. He’s 6’9 and wrestles like he’s about a foot shorter.

It was off to Smoky Mountain where Lee would have some of his greatest success. We’ll start on June 6, 1992.

Brian Lee vs. Barry Horowitz

Brian is SMW Champion but this is non-title. Barry hides in the corner to start but a big hiptoss and dropkick put Horowitz down. We hit the headlock for a bit on Horowitz but he fights up with some right hands and a side slam. Barry gets crotched on top and powerslammed down for two. In a kind of lame finish, Lee picks him up for a Razor’s Edge but drops to his knees for a backbreaker and the pin.

Rating: D+. That finish is the kind of stuff I’m talking about with Lee. Instead of launching him across the ring or straight down, the backbreaker didn’t look all that devastating. Lifting Barry up like that was a nice power display, but the actual move didn’t look all that great. Still though, at least it’s a power move.

Still in SMW at some point in 1993.

Brian Lee vs. Kevin Sullivan

This is part of along feud where Sullivan has sent a series of men to try and take Lee out before finally just doing the job himself. This is a Singapore Spike match where there is a box on each corner and only one holds a spike to use as a weapon. Brian’s partner Tim Horner and Sullivan’s minion the Nightstalker are handcuffed to posts. Lee hammers away to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Sullivan sends him face first into a table and nails him with a chair but can’t get into a box.

Lee is thrown to the floor but comes back in with a chair to the back. Two boxes are checked and empty so they head back outside to brawl some more. Sullivan hits him in the ribs with a hammer to almost no effect. Back in and Sullivan stabs him with pliers before checking the other two boxes. There’s no spike so Lee makes his comeback with right hands and a cross body which takes out the referee. Nightstalker gets on the apron with the spike in his hand but hits Sullivan by mistake, allowing Brian to roll him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This was a decent brawl and the story helped things a bit. It’s always a plus when you give me a reason to care why the face is in trouble but wants to fight anyway as it makes him seem like a hero and the villain look like a coward for resorting to cheating. Lee is getting better as he’s starting to find himself in the ring.

Brian would make a one off appearance in the WWF at Summerslam 1994 as the Fake Undertaker.

Undertaker vs. Undertaker

We’ll call them real and fake to tell them apart. The fake one is played by ECW’s Primetime Brian Lee who wrestled in the WWF as Chainz. For the real entrance, we have druids, a casket containing the Urn and then the real guy. The entrances alone take about 10 minutes. Real is a few inches taller and blocks a right hand before pounding on Fake a bit. A big boot and uppercut send Fake to the floor, allowing Real to suplex him back in for no cover.

Fake is thrown to the floor again but Real follows him out this time. Back in and Fake hits a Stunner across the top rope to take over. This is VERY slow so far and the idea isn’t interesting at all. Real blocks Fake’s Old School but Fake sits up. The Real’s Old School connects but Fake clotheslines Real down. The crowd is SILENT for this nonsense which Vince writes off as being in shock.

Real misses a charge and falls to the floor where Fake sends him into the steps. Back in and Real wins a slugout but walks into a good chokeslam for no cover. Fake Tombstones him down but takes too long to cover, allowing for the sit up. A second Tombstone is countered into the Real one, followed by two more for the pin.

Rating: F. Well that happened. Seriously, what else do you want me to say about this? It went on for ten minutes, they were aspiring to hit a snail’s pace and the Chicago crowd, as in one of the most insane groups of fans you’ll ever see, was quieter than a cemetery watching this mess. Taker would literally spend the next year feuding with DiBiase and company.

Brian would head back to Memphis and the USWA for a short stretch, including this match in July 1995.

Brian Lee vs. Sid Vicious

The winner gets a title shot at some point in the future. Sid takes him into the corner and actually offers a clean break. A slam sends Brian to the floor and we get an inset interview from Sid, talking about how easy a road he has to the title. Back in and Brian’s lacket sends in a foreign object to knock Sid down to the mat. Some big shots in the corner don’t have much effect as Sid nails a clothesline, only to get knocked back down for two. A big boot and weak looking chokeslam put Sid down for no cover. Instead Sid pops up and chokeslams Lee followed by the powerbomb, but Billy Jack Haynes comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. That big boot and chokeslam combination looked pretty bad but there’s only so much you can do in there against a guy like Sid. These giant vs. giant matches rarely work and this wasn’t much better than the majority of them. The bad looking moves bring it down a further notch though.

Lee would go to ECW and be part of the Tommy Dreamer vs. Raven feud. Here he is facing Dreamer in a pretty famous scaffold match at High Incident 1996.

Brian Lee vs. Tommy Dreamer

There’s a scaffold above the ring and a three stacks of three tables each in the ring. You win by knocking someone off the scaffold and through said tables. Instead of going near that they head to the back of the building and casually walk around without trying to hurt each other. Dreamer finally rams him into a wall a few times before nailing Brian in the head with a trashcan. A hard chair shot to Tommy’s back has Lee in control and he rams Dreamer face first into some kind of block. Dreamer is busted open. Now they’re in the crowd with Tommy fighting back, only to get hit in the head with a cooler.

Dreamer gets crotched on the barricade as they finally make it to ringside. A powerslam drives Tommy onto the concrete but he comes back with a pie to the head. Both guys climb the scaffolding, finding that much safer than a tasty dessert. Lee slams him face first into the scaffold but Dreamer hits him low. We get a very scary DDT on the scaffold has Lee in trouble but Tommy can’t throw him through the tables. Lee fights back with right hands and kicks Dreamer low to almost knock him off. Tommy gets in a low blow of his own and punches away until Lee goes through the tables.

Rating: D-. I didn’t completely hate it but this was barely wrestling. I will give them this though: at least the scaffolding had enough room to let them get their footing. The Living Dangerously mess with New Jack and Grimes had them basically standing on a bar with nothing to help them out. I almost didn’t rate it but it’s almost too famous not to.

One more ECW match at Cyberslam 1997.

Raven/Brian Lee vs. Terry Funk/Tommy Dreamer

Raven is world champion. If Funk beats Raven, he gets a shot at the title at Barely Legal. Lee is a hired gun here. This is during the Dreamer can’t beat Raven angle which I would have ended at Barely Legal, but instead they went with Funk who is the guy that was from the NWA and therefore what they were against, but hey who cares about that right? Beulah, who is dating Tommy at this point, is here being her sexy self.

We get big match intros because we need to have them for what is I guess the main event. Raven comes in and lays down to let Dreamer beat him for the first time in his life so that Funk can’t get the pin to get the title shot. Dreamer, ever the moron, hits him instead. Raven pops up and says “Hey Dreamer why didn’t you pin me?” That was funny for some reason.

Off to Funk so Raven runs and hides. Dreamer comes in again as this is stupid so far. Powerslam by Lee and he brings in Raven. Dreamer gets a DDT and tags in Funk immediately to let him try to get a win. Back off to Lee as this has been pretty basic so far. Raven won’t fight Funk so the fans chant bull. Raven and Dreamer go to the floor and the others join them. An ECW match turning into a brawl? NO WAY!!!

They’re in the crowd already and I have a feeling I’ll be able to read a novel or so while this is going on. Funk and Raven wind up back in the ring and Raven hits him low. Dreamer and Lee are on the floor having the real fight since Funk is old and Raven is probably stoned. He grabs the mic and yells at Funk for awhile while everyone looks at Dreamer and Lee who are off camera.

This creates an obvious problem of Raven vs. Funk is more or less the occasional punch and Raven yelling while the fans are all looking away at the violence on the floor. Funk grabs the mic and I’d suggest a censor button on standby. He kicks Raven’s leg out a few times and it’s the spinning toe hold. Raven screams that he quits but there’s no referee. The referee finally comes in and Lee hits Funk with a trashcan.

Lee hammers on everyone with the trashcan. Dreamer tries to protect Funk so Funk keeps getting up. Funk can’t stand up and is bleeding from the ear. Oh I have a bad feeling where this might be going. Yep the doctors are here to check on Terry and he still wants to fight. Is this supposed to be impressive or something? Terry is put on a stretcher after a few attempts and is taken to the back.

And now it’s time to make this the big angle of the show as here’s Stevie Richards who is all ticked off at Raven which I guess explains him being in the triple threat at Barely Legal. Raven wants to be kicked but Lee picks Richards off and chokeslams him. Lori Fullington, Sandman’s ex-wife comes out and is mad at Raven also. Take a DDT boy. Down she goes also.

Dreamer, ever the genius, comes out with Sandman’s son Tyler who was brainwashed by Raven at one point. Here’s a beatdown for Dreamer as well. Sandman comes out with his son on his shoulders and it’s some big emotional moment or whatever. Sandman fights both guys off and pins Raven just because. Now there’s your triple threat and Dreamer is left out in the cold. Yep that’s how they set up their first PPV people.

Rating: F+. Dude, seriously? Another big brawl, an injury angle to an old man, an ex-wife and son being brought out and a guy that hasn’t been seen the entire night is now #1 contender. Stevie is in the same spot now for getting chokeslammed and I guess beating Balls Mahoney earlier. And people wonder why non-ECW fans complain aboutnot being able to understand this company. I had no idea why they were in that match until I saw this show. Not like that’s important information to say at Barely Legal or anything right?

It was off to the WWF after this where Lee was named Chainz and put in charge of the biker group known as the Disciples of Apocalypse. We’ll start at Summerslam 1997.

Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

This is the Puerto Rican gang vs. the bikers as GANG WARZ continue. Vince calls this an eight man tag because he doesn’t care enough about any of these guys. These guys feuded FOREVER and I don’t remember the bikers ever winning a match in the feud. Savio Vega and Crush are the respective leaders and the rest are pretty interchangeable other than Chainz being the only other biker with hair.

It’s a brawl to start of course and the bikers clear the ring. Skull starts with Jose and the big man throws him around with ease. Off to 8 Ball who hits a spinning sidewalk slam before bringing in Crush. Miguel comes in but walks into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for no cover. Back to Skull and 8 Ball (identical twins) to crush Miguel in the corner until Savio cheats to take over. All four Boricuas pound on Skull in the corner until the Nation of Domination (now with Ahmed Johnson) comes down to ringside, basically stopping the match cold.

Jesus hits a Fameasser on Skull to set up another four on one beatdown. We hit a chinlock but 8 Ball breaks it up to prevent further boredom. Skull finally gets over for the tag and everything breaks down. Chainz is sent to the floor and punches Ahmed who responds with a sitout powerbomb on the concrete, giving Miguel an easy pin in the ring.

Rating: D-. Oh man this was dull to sit through. Los Boricuas just weren’t interesting at all and other than Savio they easily could have been interchanged with one another. The bikers weren’t much better but at least you could remember which was which. I guess the idea here was to appeal to a wider fanbase but it didn’t do anything for me.

And the rematch from In Your House XVIII.

Los Boricuas vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Los Boricuas are Miguel Perez, Jose Estrada, Jesus Castillo and Savio Vega while the Disciples are Crush, Chainz, Skull and 8-Ball. Skull starts with Jose with the much bigger Disciple taking over to start. 8-Ball and Skull (identical twins) hit a double big boot to take Jose down and it’s off to Miguel who walks into a powerslam for two.

Chainz and Savio come in with the biker scoring with a quick belly to belly for two before it’s off to Jesus who is slammed down just as easily. Everything nearly breaks down on the floor before Jesus takes over on Crush back inside. All four of the Boricuas come in for three running clotheslines and a spinwheel kick from Savio to Crush before Miguel hooks a chinlock.

The referee goes to the floor to stop another brawl, allowing the remaining Boricuas to triple team Crush again. A missile dropkick gets two for Jesus and we hit ANOTHER chinlock. Crush finally fights up and everything breaks down with Crush hitting a quick big boot but there’s no referee. Jesus gets a close two off a DDT but Chainz pins Miguel off a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Rating: F+. This show is really getting bad about having dull matches. As has been the case since the beginning of this feud, no one cares about these teams or anyone on them. None of the guys on the team save for arguably their leaders do anything that sets them apart. I was having trouble remembering which Boricua was which. That’s a bad sign in an eight minute match.

Here’s a tag match from Raw on February 8, 1998.

Farrooq/Rocky Maivia vs. Chainz/Ken Shamrock

Each team has three people with them which was to set up the War of Attrition match on Sunday which was rather stupid for a name since it was one fall to a finish. Lawler is on commentary here. Rocky is IC Champion and the fans think he sucks. Rock grabs a mic and says the fans want to know his opinion on human genetic cloning.

This was a thing he was doing around this time: giving his opinion on major issues. For instance, he doesn’t care about global hunger as long as his yard is mowed. Funny as all goodness of course. Here he’s in favor, but only with people that deserve to be cloned. In other words, just him.

Farrooq vs. Chainz to start us off here but it’s off to Shamrock very quickly. Rock wants in surprisingly enough and Shamrock kicks his hips with ease. Back to Farrooq again as they’re tagging very quickly here. Rocky and Farrooq switch AGAIN before I finish typing that sentence. Chainz comes in and gets his head handed to him by the majority of the Nation. Powerslam by Farrooq gets two.

Rock hammers Chainz down and hits what would become the People’s Elbow. He didn’t have the whole thing down yet. Back to the former Ron Simmons who works on the back for awhile. Shamrock and Rock come in and it’s all the Sham version here. Somehow we get Farrooq in the ankle lock but Rock pops Ken in the head with a chair to end this pretty quickly.

Rating: D+. Pretty fast match here which wasn’t bad but I’ve seen worse. The problem here was that they went WAY too fast with the tagging and it kept them from getting anything going. The war match was just ok if I remember. Rock vs. Shamrock would happen at Mania which was a Dusty Finish. Not bad here but just filler to get us to the PPV with this angle.

And a singles match from Raw on June 8, 1998.

Darren Drozdov vs. Chainz

We get a video of how Droz got the name Puke. I’ll let you visualize that yourselves. Droz is NOT a member of the LOD. He just hangs out with them and feuds with the people they’re feuding and is in their tag matches. Ok then. Chainz takes over and it’s official: Mankind vs. Taker is Hell in a Cell. Chainz misses a middle rope elbow and Droz does the same with a corner splash, allowing Chainz to win with a Death Valley Driver. Too short to rate but it was nothing of note at all.

Lee would hit the indies for awhile after this but would return in TNA in 2002. Here he as at Weekly PPV #12 where Lee was one of two men remaining in a battle royal, earning him a Tag Team Title shot.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Chris Harris vs. Brian Lee/Ron Haris

Ron chokeslams James on the stage to start things off as a handicap match. Also here’s Jeff Jarrett to beat up BG James and take the focus off the title match. Lee kicks Chris in the face as AMW (are they even called that yet?) is in big trouble. Chris comes back for a bit but gets clotheslined down for two. West points out the problem here: too many people named James and Harris.

Storm finally gets back in and cleans house, only to get caught in a chokeslam/belly to back suplex combo for no cover. Ron pulls out a table for no apparent reason and lays Storm out on top of it. Lee loads up Chris in a chokeslam but gets rolled up (and into the ropes) to give AMW the pin and the titles.

Rating: D. This was barely even a match with Chris getting beaten down for a few minutes and Storm being on the floor most of the time. The table thing was stupid and the ending was even worse as both guys were in the ropes for the fall and the referee counted it anyway. Nothing to see here, but at least the right team won.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Here’s an 80s pretty boy: Tom Zenk.

Zenk got his start in 1984 and we’ll pick things up in his rookie year against Jimmy Garvin in the AWA.

Jimmy Garvin vs. Tom Zenk

After a good while spent on getting Garvin’s clothes off, we’re ready to go. Jimmy grabs a headlock to take him down to the mat but Zenk fights up with a slam. Garvin starts cranking on the leg to slow things down until Tom counters into a chinlock. That goes nowhere as Garvin hammers away on him in the corner. Off to a chinlock on Zenk for a bit before Jimmy throws him out to the floor. Garvin chokes on the rope but Tom comes back in with a hiptoss, only to miss a dropkick. Back up and Tom runs into a boot in the corner, setting up Garvin’s brainbuster for the pin.

Rating: D+. Garvin was better than his most famous period would suggest but this wasn’t the most interesting match in the world. Zenk was pretty generic here but that’s what you have to expect from a rookie like this. It was your standard chinlock/choke match which can only go so far.

Still in the AWA on January 10, 1985 in Winnipeg.

Nick Bockwinkel vs. Tom Zenk

Feeling out process to start with Nick quickly taking him down off a headlock. Back up and the slow start continues until Nick throws him out to the floor. Zenk comes back in and gets sent face first into the buckle, only to nail a dropkick and hiptoss for two. Bockwinkel sidesteps the other dropkick though and nails the piledriver for the pin. Short and almost a squash here.

Off to 1986, still in the AWA.

Masked Superstar vs. Tom Zenk

In theory that’s Ax of Demolition. Superstar has one of the top heel managers, Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie, in his corner. The masked man hammers away against the ropes and plants Zenk with a hard slam. A stiff right hand to the face has Zenk reeling and Superstar throws him out to the floor. Back in and a running clothesline sets up a swinging neckbreaker to pin Zenk.

Zenk would get hired by the WWF to be part of the next young, fast paced tag team. He and Rick Martel would hook up as the Can-Am Connection with one of their earlier matches taking place on Superstars, January 24, 1987.

Don Muraco/Bob Orton vs. Can-Am Connection

This would eventually open Mania III. I’ve always liked that one so this should be at least good too. They start immediately which is fun. Danny Davis is the referee here. Fink does his third voiceover of the night. Dang he’s getting paid tonight. We have Martel vs. Orton here. The Connection was good but I’ll take Strike Force any day. Fuji calls out the Connection in an inset interview. Speed vs. what you could call power I guess is always fun.

Zenk was good but his attitude was absurd. This isn’t as good as Mania would be but it’s ok for what it is. Also that’s what a show like this is for: polishing for the major show which I’d certainly say Mania was. You know, just the biggest card of all time. It’s a big brawl and they throw it out. Solid until then I guess.

Rating: C-. Not bad for what it was. It’s rare enough to see four big names in a match here but this worked fine. The Connection was a good team and the heels were always good for a quick one. Decent enough for a power vs. speed match, even though Muraco and Orton weren’t the strongest team in the world.

Something WWF would do a lot of back in the day was one night tag team tournament for a title shot later in the night. One of these took place in Toronto on March 15, 1987. Here are the Connection’s two matches.

First Round: Jerry Allen/Dan Spivey vs. Can-Am Connection

This is a very odd choice for a team here. Mike Rotunda had left and Spivey had no partner. Allen on the other hand….was a jobber. He’s kind of like the Carlito of his day, minus the credibility. Yeah think of him like that. Allen and Spivey get no reaction. Can-Ams are the young pretty boys who get big girl pops. Jimmy talks about his clients’ three matches at Mania, including saying that Alice Cooper couldn’t carry a tune if it had handles on it.

That line would be in Honky Tonk Man’s future song, so I wonder who wrote that one. Valiant is REALLY annoying. Allen and Zenk start us off. Wow I’d be so riveted to this match. They botch a leap frog. That’s hard to do. Jimmy lists off some songs his band had. For those of you that don’t know, Hart was in a mainstream band called the Gents and they actually weren’t that bad. They toured with the Beach Boys in the 60s.

We hit the formula stuff so that’s fine. They mention Allen isn’t Spivey’s full time partner. At this time, Valiant is Demolition’s manager. This isn’t very interesting at all. To be fair that could be due to a lack of heel talent. There’s a lot of that going around tonight apparently. This match has been 80% rest holds. Everyone comes in at once and in a pretty weak looking spot, Martel hits Allen with a cross body for the pin.

Rating: D. Just boring as all all goodness here. It was mainly due to the terrible heel team though so I can’t complain much there. The Connection was pretty solid though so I have to give them the benefit of the doubt here. Just a bad match overall though as Allen and Spivey seeming to be a thrown together team.

Semi-Finals: Can-Am Connection vs. Demolition

Demolition is kind of popular here, foreshadowing their face turn…a year and a half from now. Ok so it’s not foreshadowing at all. This is apparently a main event in any arena in the entire world. When anyone says that, the first thing that comes to my mind: WHY IS IT NOT MAIN EVENTING THIS SHOW THEN??? Demolition is dominating for the most part here as you would expect them to. What follows is more or less as basic of a match as you could possibly ask for.

This simply isn’t much to talk about but it’s not bad. Demolition dominates for a good while until Martel gets the hot tag. Everyone comes in, the legal guys go to the floor, Zenk hits the post, and there’s your countout to put Demolition in the finals.

Rating: C-. Not as bad, but still not very good whatsoever. The screwy endings continue here which is rapidly getting on my nerves. It’s another formula match here which is fine but it’s getting very repetitive. Demolition was clearly going to be a big deal in the division but it was still a little ways away.

Here’s Zenk’s most famous match in the opener of Wrestlemania III.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

One more WWF match at SNME XI.

Can-Am Connection vs. Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff

He tries to sing and gets hit in the head with a 2×4. Isn’t that called massive assault? Zenk and the Sheik start us off. Duggan, after BASHING VOLKOFF IN THE HEAD WITH A BOARD just sits right back in the front row. Sheik gets a good abdominal stretch on Sheik. This show needs to end. Duggan runs in AGAIN and Martel rolls up Sheik for the pin.

Rating: D-. I have no idea how you can get away with the whole Duggan thing but the 80s were a very strange time for good guys. I mean, look at Hogan cheating like there was no tomorrow if nothing else. The Connection would be gone soon but they weren’t terrible at this point.

The Connection would split due to Zenk leaving over a contract issue. Martel would wind up teaming with Tito Santana as Strike Force and it’s hard to believe their push wasn’t originally planned for the Can-Am Connection. Anyway, it was off to WCW for Zenk where he would have a good bit more success. We’ll start things off at Clash of the Champions VIII.

Cuban Assassin vs. Z-Man

Z-Man is Tom Zenk, a young guy in great shape freshly over from the AWA and the WWF before that. Assassin gets hiptossed over and a dropkick sends him to the floor as Z-Man is starting fast. Back in and we hit the top wristlock on the Cuban followed by an armbar. Assassin fights up and headbutts Z-Man to take over, only to miss a middle rope headbutt. Z-Man grabs a sleeper and gets the quick win.

Rating: C-. Z-Man looked good and that’s exactly what you need out of a debut match like this. The Assassin was nothing special and therefore a good choice for a jobber here. Z-Man would stick around for a few years and thankfully switch away from the sleeper, which really didn’t work for a high flier like him.

Z-Man would be paired with Brian Pillman in another young fast team. They would actually pick up the US Tag Team Titles from the Freebirds in early 1990. Here’s the rematch at Wrestlewar 1990.

US Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Brian Pillman/Z-Man

The Birds are challenging here. They get sent to the floor immediately and the champs steal their clothes and dance around as Badstreet plays in the background. Funny moment. The crowd is all over the Birds. They weren’t much in the ring but they were heat machines. Today is Flair’s birthday according to JR. We finally get going with Brian vs. Hayes. Brian knocks him around with a clothesline and Garvin fluffs his hair.

Speaking of Garvin here he is and he gets Z-Man. Z takes him down with a headlock but misses a dropkick. Garvin, ever the Rhodes Scholar, ducks his head and gets kicked in the face. Back to Brian for another headlock. Hayes comes back in and things are going slowly to start, implying that they have a lot of time to work with. Sunset flip with a great jump gets two for Pillman.

Z-Man works on the arm and goes into a Fujiwar Armbar to Hayes. Back to Garvin who loses any advantage that Hayes had gotten on Z-Man. Pillman comes in as the fans seem a bit distracted. Hayes comes in and hooks a sleeper (sleep hold according to Ross) as JR talks about Paul Boesch, the promoter of Houston Wrestling for decades, demonstrating this hold in the second World War.

Brian escapes and sends him into the corner but charges into a great left hand to put him down. Brian rolls through a cross body for two. Back to Garvin as this is going a lot longer than I was expecting it to go. Since Garvin can’t manage to keep Brian in one place he makes the tag to Z-Man. Z-Man puts the Z Lock (sleeper) on Hayes but Garvin comes off the top for the save.

Garvin hooks a chinlock as this match has gone well over fifteen minutes so far. Now they mix things up with a Hayes chinlock. After 18 minutes, we’re told this is a rematch from the finals of the tournament where Z-Man and Pillman won the titles in the first place. Z-Man gets a small package for two. Hayes is like enough of that and goes back to the chinlock. JR thinks Hayes looks like Alice Cooper. Terry wants to know if Hayes knows who Buffalo Bill is.

Hayes goes up and kind of steps off with no significant contact being made. Back to Garvin as this needs to end really soon. Who decided to give the Birds over twenty minutes? Top rope fist gets two for Hayes after a non-tag. Bulldog gets two as Pillman breaks it up. Back to the chinlock #4 but Zenk drops him with a DDT of his own. There’s the tag to Pillman and the fans care more than I expected them to. Pillman cleans house but Hayes brings in a title but Pillman comes off the top with a cross body as the title is being taken out to retain the titles.

Rating: D. Technically the match was fine but MY GOODNESS this ran long. It clocks in at almost twenty four minutes which is just far too long. Pillman and Zenk can easily go that long but the Birds were already through their whole set of stuff at about 10 minutes in. The solution of course? Go 14 minutes past that. WAY too long and if you cut this to like 12 minutes it’s probably an okish match.

Same idea but with the TV Title at Clash XIV.

TV Title: Z-Man vs. Bobby Eaton

Z-Man is defending and Eaton comes out to LOUD canned BOBBY chants instead of theme music. Feeling out process to start with both guys trading holds on the mat. Z-Man can’t hiptoss him down and we have another standoff. Eaton takes him down with an armbar to take over but goes up top and gets dropkicked out to the floor.

Back in and Z-Man cranks on the arm so Eaton pops him in the jaw and sends the champion into the buckle. Eaton goes up again but gets dropkicked out of the air to change momentum. Z-Man tries to speed things up but charges into an elbow in the corner. Eaton’s top rope knee drop gets two but Z-Man is too close to the ropes. A pair of rollups get two each for Z-Man before he backslides Eaton to retain the title. Replays show Eaton’s shoulder was up just before the pin but it doesn’t change anything.

Rating: C-. Z-Man wasn’t great in the ring but he was a good fast paced act that could make for an entertaining match. Eaton was still trying to find himself as a singles guy after the Midnights broke up but it would take a few more months. Z-Man had already lost the title to Arn Anderson but the title change hadn’t aired on television yet.

Z-Man’s biggest feud in WCW was against Steve Austin who had recently taken the TV Title from him. Here’s a rematch from Clash XVI.

TV Title: Z-Man vs. Steve Austin

Austin is defending and has the evil Lady Blossom with him. They fight up against the ropes to start and then take it into the corner for a little variety. Z-Man grabs a hammerlock and takes it to the mat but Austin is in the ropes pretty quickly. A shoulder puts the champion down but Z-Man doesn’t follow up for some reason. Another shoulder drops Austin again but they fight up against the ropes instead of anyone trying a pin.

Austin takes him down with a headlock but Z-Man counters into an armbar. Back up and Z-Man hits a superkick but Austin bails to the floor. Z-Man dives onto the ramp to take Austin down but misses a top rope cross body. We hit the chinlock on the challenger for a few moments before Z-Man fights up and charges into the Stun Gun. Austin doesn’t cover and gets small packaged for two before getting caught in the sleeper. Steve is quickly in the ropes where Lady Blossom gives him a foreign object to knock out Z-Man and retain the title.

Rating: D+. Much like some of the other matches tonight, this was pretty dull stuff. It was a lot of laying around and Austin bailing to the floor before getting in a single shot to cheat. It makes sense for Austin to run like that, but Z-Man not following up just stopped any momentum that he had going.

Z-Man would go after the Light Heavyweight Title against former partner Brian Pillman at Wrestlewar 1992.

Light Heavyweight Title: Flying Brian vs. Z-Man

This should be awesome. These two used to be the US Tag Champions. Jesse wants the cheating to start before the match even begins. I love heel announcers when they’re good at what they do and he’s one of the best of them. They keep doing the same stuff because they know each other so well. That’s an old tactic but it works very well no matter what so I can’t complain.

Crowd is oddly dead here, but I think it’s because there hasn’t been much to cheer for in about an hour. Jesse does some play by play here which is very different. Him basically drooling over the idea of a punch being thrown is great. This starts off pretty slowly but it’s going with the slow build as you can tell the ending is going to be awesome. Z-Man misses a Vader Bomb so Pillman can take over again.

And now it’s half crab time for no apparent reason. Pillman would soon join up with Austin to make the Hollywood Blondes who were as awesome as you can be in a 6 month reign as a team. A figure four goes on and Z-Man has a bad knee. They’re going with a more mat based and psychology heavy match here and it’s working rather well. The crowd is hot for it which is a good thing.

Z-Man can sell the knee work very well too. Crucifix, one of Pillman’s signature moves, gets two. Jesse is BEGGING for them to cheat. Z-Man gets a cross body but goes too high with it and nearly breaks Pillman’s neck (which more or less happened at last year’s Wrestle War which we’ll get to later) but it only gets two.

Both guys are down and more or less out. In a nice bit of psychology, Z-Man fakes a knee injury and kicks Pillman as he’s coming down in a cross body. Nice move out of Bret Hart’s book….although that might not have been written yet. Z-Man misses a missile dropkick and Pillman gets a rollup to retain. Nice ending.

Rating: B+. Another very good match here. Pillman was just awesome at this point and this was no exception. Excellent match here with two guys just going out there and having a blast. Z-Man was insane for the most part and it’s a shame because he was very good in the ring when he wasn’t ticked off. This was a great match with a mixture of a lot of styles. I can’t quite get it into the A range, but it’s well worth watching if you’re bored.

Without much success, Z-Man would be put into another pretty boy tag team with Johnny Gunn. Here they are in a six man at Halloween Havoc 1992.

Z-Man/Johnny Gunn/Shane Douglas vs. Arn Anderson/Michael Hayes/Bobby Eaton

This should be good. Gunn is more famous as Tom Brandi. So we have three guys who are young and muscular vs. a heat machine and two wrestling masters. We’re in Philadelphia. You can fill in the blanks yourselves. Gunn and Anderson start things off with Anderson pounding him into the corner. Gunn comes back with a bad dropkick and Z-Man hits one of his own. The good guys clear the ring and get booed out of the building.

Z-Man comes in legally and cranks on Arn’s arm until Bobby comes in to take over. Eaton pops him with a right hand and the place ERUPTS. Off to Hayes who gets cheered too because he’s the king of playing to a crowd. Shane comes in to work on Michael’s arm and is booed in the process, which isn’t something you would ever expect to see in Philly. Back to Eaton who is armdragged down immediately.

Eaton takes Shane into the corner and pops him with a right hand too, but he gets promptly taken down by a flying headscissors. Back to Z-Man who these people just hate. He hooks a leg bar as Jesse rants about Shane probably being a right wing Republican. Z-Man hooks a sleeper on Anderson but it’s quickly countered. Back to Hayes who pounds away and hooks a chinlock on Zenk. Eaton comes in but leaves quickly with a blind tag to Arn.

Anderson KILLS Z-Man with a clothesline and the place erupts again. Even Jesse is stunned by this and he doesn’t stun easily. Hayes hooks a rear chinlock but Zenk slams him into the mat to escape. Double tag brings in Shane vs. Anderson but Eaton cheap shots Douglas in the knee to stop the comeback, again getting a pop from the audience. Eaton drops a top rope knee drop onto the knee and hooks a Figure Four (with help from Hayes of course). Shane turns it over and atomic drops Anderson, but they hit heads. Hot tag to Gunn and everything breaks down with Gunn hitting a Thesz Press to pin Hayes. The booing is great.

Rating: C+. If this has been ANYWHERE other than Philadelphia, this would have been an excellent opener. I can’t say the fans turned on the good guys because they were never on their side in the first place. You had to know this was coming if you knew anything about the city, but the match itself was fine. Jesse’s reactions to the crowd were entertaining too as he sounded genuinely surprised.

We’ll wrap it up with Z-Man’s last big match in WCW at Slamboree 1993. This one needs a lot of explanation.

Tag Titles: Hollywood Blondes vs. Dos Hombres

This is in a cage. This is one of those angles that is so full of backstory it’s unreal. Ok so who in the world are Dos Hombres. Well they’re “luchadores” in masks. However, they’re introduced as Ricky Steamboat and Shane Douglas. Now one of them is Steamboat. The other however, isn’t Shane Douglas. It’s actually Tom Zenk. So in other words, we have a guy portraying Shane Douglas portraying a luchador who everyone “knows” is Shane wearing a mask.

Now that probably requires an explanation too. Steamboat and Douglas had been tag team champions and feuded with Brian Pillman/Barry Windham. Windham had to leave for some reason so they substituted in Steve Austin and made the team the Hollywood Blondes. They eventually won the titles and held them for like six months. Oh and these are UNIFIED tag titles, because the NWA thinks people still care about them because the NWA is stupid.

Anyway, the new champs beat the former champs time after time. They were scheduled to face Dos Hombres, some new team from Mexico, in what was supposed to be a squash. However, Dos Hombres started fighting like Douglas and Steamboat to the point that everyone said yeah that’s Steamboat and Douglas. They were even introduced by those names. Anyway, the thing is that Douglas had been fired and in the non-title match it was Brad Armstrong under the mask. In this match which is for the titles, it’s Tom Zenk. Got all that?

Despite this being in a cage they have to tag which gets annoying fast. Steamboat and Austin start but it’s off to Pillman very quickly. Yeah that’s Steamboat. You can tell those chops anywhere. Pillman can’t put him into the cage and there’s an armdrag. Off to “Shane” who is way too skinny to be who he’s portraying. There are two guys in suits that keep getting shown and I don’t know who they are.

Both “Shane” and Austin block head shots to the cage but Austin goes in back first just a bit. Both guys hit the ropes and Austin gets backdropped. Not much of a cage match here but a pretty good wrestling match up to this point. Austin eats cage in the first good shot into it. Back to Steamboat (I think) against Pillman who takes over. Yeah there’s an armdrag so it’s “Shane” who got tagged in.

Gorilla press puts Pillman’s back into the cage. Off to Austin who can’t do much because his back hurts from going into the cage. He gets caught in the Tree of Woe but from the top of the cage instead of the corner. The challengers do the camera thing that the Blondes are known for in a funny bit. Austin gets down and takes over again. I have no idea which Hombre is in there.

Middle rope elbow gets two for the future rattlesnake that has hair here. The Blondes have to hide the use of a towel. In a cage match? Pillman comes in and jumps into a boot to put both guys down. I think that’s “Shane” in there but I’m really not sure. They’re full body suits so you can’t tell them apart at all other than mannerisms. Austin cuts off the tag at the last second and we keep at it.

“Shane” gets a dropkick to send Austin into the cage. Oh yeah that’s a Steamboat shot from the apron. Austin blocks another tag with something like a spinebuster. Larry says that Austin can be a legend if his body holds up. Holy prognostication Larry! Rocket Launcher sends Brian into “Shane’s” ribs and they both down again. There’s the tag to Steamboat who cleans house. Austin tries to hide and there’s the Flair shot from him. You figure out what I mean by that and why the audience laughed at it.

Everything breaks down and Steamboat takes the mask off. He climbs the cage and takes out BOTH Blondes for two with a huge cross body! AWESOME! Even the bell goes off inadvertently and I can’t blame them. Steamboat DDTs Austin for two and does the same to Pillman. Stereo dropkicks get two. In a rushed but kind of sweet ending, the Hombres get the champs in opposite corners and whip them together but Pillman reverses and sends Steamboat into Austin who hits a Stun Gun to retain.

Rating: B. Good match, although I’m really not sure why it was inside a cage. Anyway, the point is that this was solid stuff as the Blondes were totally awesome throughout their entire run so this was pretty much an automatic good match. Zenk is good in the ring but he was in over his head with these guys. The backstory is a mess but it was still a breath of incredibly fresh air after watching the legends go at it for an hour.

Zenk is a guy that wasn’t the best worker in the world but he had a great look and could pass on his decent skills. However, to say he screwed up by running his mouth is an understatement. I can’t do them justice, but the rants he went on about backstage politics in WCW are some of the funniest things you’ll ever hear and I highly recommend looking them up.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is a man that is as intense as he claims to be: Gunner.

Gunner got his start in the early 2000s as Phil Shatter. Here’s a match from just before he started for TNA on February 27, 2009.

Big Daddy Z vs. Phil Shatter

Z is a very large man that takes Shatter into the corner for some shoulders to the ribs. The fat man poses and chokes on the ropes a bit as he looks like he can barely breathe. A pair of big running clotheslines drop Phil for two. Shatter comes back with some right hands but gets dropped by a splash in the corner. Z misses a “charge” and gets dropped by a series of clotheslines for two. Some guys try to come in to attack Shatter and the match is thrown out after he fights them off for a bit.

Rating: D-. I feel sorry for Shatter here as he needs something a lot better to work with than this big fat tub of goo. The guy was reaching Big Sal E. Graziano levels of fat and there’s no real way to work with something like that. The match was your typical big man vs. normal guy match when the big man can’t do jack.

Gunner would head to TNA soon after this as part of Immortal’s security force. Here he is in a singles effort on Impact, March 17, 2011.

TV Title: Rob Terry vs. Gunner vs. Murphy

Gunner has the tattoos. Got it. The tag team jumps Terry but then splits up soon. Hogan’s wife and Brooke (looks JUST like Linda) are here. We split the screen for a bit to show that the cops are here for Angle. People keep trying to steal wins which gets them nowhere. Murphy and Terry slug it out with Terry winning. Gunner pops up to spear him and then hits a modified F5 to win the title at 1:47. The match didn’t even make it to two minutes. Wow indeed. Bischoff comes out to applaud.

Here’s a six man on August 25, 2011 as part of Immortal’s war with Fourtune.

AJ Styles/Beer Money vs. Immortal

Ray/Gunner/Steiner here. This is Hardcore remember. Big brawl to start and Storm spits beer at someone, just like Steiner does at Roode. No one has been in the ring yet but they don‘t have to be here. I think whoever gets the fall here gets the points. Gunner vs. AJ in the ring now and Abyss is watching from the ramp. Dang AJ has a great dropkick. It only gets one and here‘s Steiner with a belly to belly.

Roode comes in and gets the Blockbuster for two. Ray kicks his head off for two and there have been no tags at all so far. Now it‘s Storm with a kick to the head and a cross body for two on Ray. The former champs hit a double suplex on Ray and SHOUT THOSE NAMES. Roode looks jacked here. AJ wakes up and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take out Ray. He‘s holding his knee though.

Gunner sends Storm into the set for two and Steiner misses a chair shot. Abyss is still lookint down at them. We go split screen which for once is a good idea. The fans boo because as usual, THEY CAN‘T SEE ANYTHING. Beer Money is getting beaten down and Storm has a locker dropped on his knees. Gunner, ever the smart dude, walks away as AJ hits the springboard clothesline for two on Ray back in the ring. Gunner comes back and AJ is distracted, letting Ray hit the Bubba Bomb for the pin on AJ at 6:00.

Rating: C. Meh just another six man hardcore match. It’s not bad or anything but it wasn’t great. Right in the middle works pretty well I think. It’s good to see someone move up in the ranks in the form of Ray but I’d like to see someone with an actual chance of going to BFG get the points instead. At the moment it’s looking like Beer Money, Ray and Crimson. For some reason, that doesn’t blow my skirt up.

Gunner would compete in the 2011 Bound For Glory Series and do quite well. Here’s his chance to make the final four on Impact, September 1, 2011.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

For all intents and purposes, the winner is the fourth man. Everyone else is mathematically eliminated and I’m not going to bother listing off the points tonight. It almost has to be Rob going but that would make too much sense so I’m not sure. Joe comes out almost immediately and Morgan jumps up to stop him. Joe kicks him in the balls but security sends him out.

After that we’re back to the match at hand and there’s not much going on. Gunner gets a slingshot suplex but Rob almost rolls out of it. Rob fires off some kicks and hits the Rolling Thunder. Here’s Jerry Lynn but Rob sends him to the back which is probably smart. Rob actually shows some intelligence and doesn’t try to go for the Five Star after being on the floor for a bit.

They trade rollups and Rob falls off the top trying to hit the one footed kick. Rob goes up again but Lynn comes back and shoves him off the top, allowing Gunner to hit a running knee for the pin at 4:57. Lynn’s smile is pretty awesome. This also puts Gunner into the four way at No Surrender as the fourth man.

Rating: C. The match was so-so but the point of this is it sets up a few stories and potential matches. I’m hoping they save RVD vs. Lynn for Philadelphia because it’ll guarantee a huge response no matter what the match looks like. I’m not sure I get why Gunner is going to be in the four way but it’s better than some other choices. At least they seem to have a plan here, which is a big upgrade for them.

And one more time the next week.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode vs. Gunner vs. Bully Ray

One fall to a finish here. It’s tornado rules too. Here’s Joe almost immediately and here’s Morgan just as fast to stop him. Morgan vs. Joe on Sunday also. Ray and Storm stand tall for a bit until Ray runs Storm over. Beer Money cleans house and teases going at it until Ray breaks that up. Gunner goes for a cover and Ray isn’t happy with it. A big clothesline gets two on Roode.

Storm comes back in with a top rope cross body and beats up Gunner a bit. Roode hammers on Gunner and hits the spinebuster for two. Beer Money teases it again but instead they suplex Gunner and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Ray runs them both over and takes them both out with power stuff. Gunner hits a running knee to Ray’s head for the pin at 5:00. That was nice as he was left in the background and then stole the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was nothing great. I wish this had been the way the BFG Final went at the PPV because it would make more sense but I guess they need to flesh out the card more and have some overly complicated rules. Not bad here and Gunner winning was a nice surprise also. Nothing great but not bad.

Here’s the payoff at No Surrender 2011.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Robert Roode

If this ends in anything but a submission, Ray wins. Therefore, there’s zero reason why he shouldn’t come out and clock one of these guys to have the match end in about three seconds. Roode takes it to the mat quickly and Gunner breaks it off to get to a stalemate. The fans are all behind Roode. They do some nice technical stuff to get to the mat as they fight over a hammerlock.

Roode tries the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner hits the floor. Bobby gets to the arm and wraps it around the post. Gunner misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first again. Back inside and Roode works over the shoulder even more. You can’t fault him for lacking psychology. Gunner grabs a DDT to break things up and go after the neck of Roode. Roode escapes a full nelson but Gunner takes him down again and chokes a lot.

Gunner gets a neckbreaker and hooks a neck crank. Off to a headscissors which doesn’t last long. Roode escapes a neckbreaker and tries for the armbar but Gunner escapes and takes Roode down with a short clothesline. Now Gunner gets the full nelson but he can’t hook it fully because of the arm. Roode rams him into the corner about five times and the hold is broken.

Gunner misses a right hand and there’s the Fujiwara Armbar but Gunner escapes. Gunner charges into the spinebuster and both guys are down. There’s an elbow by Gunner but he gets caught in the armbar again. After nearly tapping he grabs the rope. The crowd isn’t into this at all for the most part but it’s not bad. Gunner gets his running knee finisher out of nowhere but Roode is on his knees quickly. He tries an F5 but gets caught in the armbar again and is dragged back to the middle for a Crippler Crossface for the tap at 12:07.

Rating: C. See, the problem here is that neither guy is really known for submissions so we weren’t sure when to expect the match to end so we didn’t know what was coming. Not a terrible match but oddly enough Storm vs. Ray with Ray stalling forever was probably a more interesting match. This was way too technical and it didn’t work for the most part. Not bad or anything, but pretty bland.

Here’s a pretty big PPV match at Genesis 2012.

Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

Rematch from Impact after the weak ending. They actually go to the mat to start as Gunner is getting frustrated. Rollup gets two for RVD. Crucifix gets one and it’s a standoff. Gunner takes over with strikes and we head to the floor. Van Dam gets in a kick to take over and sends Gunner back in, but has to chase Flair off. He gets crotched on top but throws Gunner down on the way back in.

Top rope cross body gets two. Top rope kick sets up Rolling Thunder for two. Gunner rolls to the floor so RVD dives, only to have Flair pull Gunner out of the way. With Flair distracting the referee, Gunner DDTs him on the floor to basically kill him. He’s out cold and that’s enough for the pin at 6:52. Man that match went by fast.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match but too short to mean anything. I’ve heard Van Dam’s contract is up in March so maybe this is a way to write him off TV for a few months in case he doesn’t re-sign? If so it’s a good thing for him to be jobbing on his way out. Still though, match wasn’t much and Gunner is still just kind of there.

And another at Against All Odds 2012.

Gunner vs. Garrett Bischoff

Garrett comes out to Hulk’s music. Garrett controls to start with his usual stuff. He’s in the workout pants still. Gunner takes over for a few moments until Garrett hooks a backslide and front facelock. At this point he has less of a moveset than Andy from Tough Enough. Gunner pulls him into the middle buckle and takes over again.

The beating goes on for several minutes and there’s nothing to say. It’s a guy with experience and some ring skills beating on a guy who knows a total of about 5 moves. This is getting ten minutes on PPV in the second to last match on the card, making it longer than the tag team title match. Gunner works over the neck for the most part.

Eric gets in Garrett’s face so Hogan decks him. Gunner hits probably his fourth neckbreaker but on the next attempt Garrett grabs the rope. Hogan picks up the towel but Garrett says no. And then Gunner DDTs him for the pin at 11:57. Yes, it actually got that much time. Why does this surprise me?

Rating: F. There is no justification for this match to get this much time on a PPV. None. I can’t stand this story because it’s not about Garrett or Gunner. It’s about Hogan, just like it always is. Hogan isn’t putting anyone over, because that would make him look weak and Impact Wrestling is all about him and Bischoff. I know I sound like some whiny fan boy here but this has been old since it started and it’s just going to keep going. How many people can’t get time on a PPV so that Eric’s son can be out there and bore everyone to death?

Gunner would disappear for a bit before returning to be James Storm’s partner at Slammiversary 2013.

Tag Titles: James Storm/Gunner vs. Hernandez/Chavo Guerrero vs. Bad Influence vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries

Chavo and Hernandez are defending, this is under elimination rules and Storm has a badly hurt leg. Chavo and Daniels get things going with Daniels getting caught between right hands from both champions. Off to SuperMex to face Aries, with the latter jumping into a fall away slam. Back to Chavo who immediately pulls the now legal Roode into a headlock. Off to Storm vs. Roode and James can actually move. He throws a few right hands to take Roode down and it’s off to Gunner.

Bobby tags in Gunner as everything breaks down. Hernandez puts Roode on his shoulder for the backbreaker but Chavo suplexes Aries onto Hernandez’s other shoulder for a double backbreaker. That’s SCARY power. Storm and Gunner whip Roode and Aries into each other before Bad Influence comes in to stomp both guys down. Hernandez gets a running start to jump over the top rope and clothesline both guys down for two on Daniels. Kaz breaks up the delayed suplex on Daniels with a kick to Hernandez’s back before coming in legally.

After some more kicks to the legs of Hernandez it’s off to Roode for a stomping in the corner. Aries comes in with the slingshot hilo for two before putting on a front facelock. The fans chant for Aries but Hernandez suplexes both Aries and Roode down at the same time. Kaz gets the tag but Chavo comes in as well to clean house. There are Three Amigos to Kaz but Daniels sneaks in for Angel’s Wings on Chavo. Hernandez runs over Aries and Border Tosses Kaz, allowing the frog splash from Chavo to connect. Daniels breaks it up with a title belt for a DQ elimination at 10:52.

Aries immediately rolls up Chavo for the elimination at 11:10, leaving us with Aries/Roode and Storm/Gunner. Aries and Roode double team Gunner in the corner but he comes back with some running clotheslines. There’s the tag to Storm who pounds away on Roode and DDTs Aries down. Back to Gunner who catapults Aries into a Storm DDT for two. There’s the Gun Rack (Torture Rack) to Roode but Aries kicks Gunner in the ribs to break it up. The spinebuster from Roode sets up the 450 from Aries but it’s only good for two. Roode throws in a title belt but it’s the Last Call and Gun Rack to Aries for the submission and the titles at 16:28.

Rating: B. Another good match as this show is on a roll so far. I’m glad Storm is healthy enough to do the limited stuff he could do out there and Gunner looked solid as well. Hopefully we never have to see the other three teams fight again as the feud has been done to death already as the tag titles just need fresh blood now.

The new champions would team together in a six man on Impact, June 6, 2013.

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode/Kenny King vs. Chris Sabin/Gunner/James Storm

Sabin starts with an armdrag to take King down before sending him into the champions’ corner. Everything breaks down in a hurry with Roode and company bailing to the floor. Sabin dives on all three of them at once to fire up the crowd. Back in and Roode suplexes Sabin down before getting two off a knee drop. Off to Storm for a Beer Money reunion with James cleaning house until Roode clotheslines him down to take over. Aries comes in with a slingshot splash for two.

King hits a slingshot legdrop for two of his own before it’s back to Roode for some double teaming. Storm sends Aries into Roode to get himself a breather and the hot tag off to the hometown boy Gunner. Everything breaks down and Roode hits the spinebuster on Gunner to take him down. Aries loads up the suicide dive but gets kicked in the head by Sabin. All Hail Sabin (the name for that piledriver kind of move Sabin has been using) pins King at 6:39.

Rating: C. This was your usual formula tag match but without enough time to really get anything going. Having all three new champions against their challengers is fine as you can combine both stories into a single match. This worked fine for what it was but hopefully they can do something new with the divisions instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again.

Here’s a chance for Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez to get a title shot on Impact, September 19, 2013.

Hernandez vs. Gunner

Hernandez runs Gunner over to start and drapes him ribs first over the top rope. The over the shoulder backbreaker gets two on Gunner and Hernandez hits the run down the running dive from the ramp to the ring for two. Gunner counters a suplex into a slingshot suplex to put Hernandez down again. A slam puts SuperMex down and Sheamus’ Irish Curse (Rock Bottom backbreaker) is good for the pin for Gunner at 4:17.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t awful actually but I have zero interest in seeing Chavo and Hernandez on the same planet, let alone on the same team, ever again. They’re just not interesting at all and they never have been. Nothing much to see here, but it would imply another team gets the shot at BFG, thank goodness.

After the team lost the titles and split, Gunner would win the Feast or Fired briefcase for a World Title shot, which he cashed in on Impact, February 20, 2014.

TNA World Title: Magnus vs. Gunner

This is no countout and No DQ. After the Big Match Intros, Magnus bails to the floor before any contact is made. Back in and Gunner works on a wristlock but gets reversed into a headlock. The hold stays on for about two and a half minutes before Gunner comes back with a back elbow and a clothesline. Magnus comes right back with a knee to the back to send Gunner outside. The champ calls for help from the back but gets the Wolves and Storm instead as we take a break.

Back with Magnus putting on a camel clutch as Tenay tells us this is No DQ and No countout, which I don’t remember being announced at first. Gunner fights up so Magnus changes to a sleeper, only to get caught in a belly to back suplex. It’s Magnus up first and the top rope elbow gets two. Magnus goes to the floor and gets the title belt but Gunner lifts him into a fireman’s carry. The champ escapes and both guys try cross bodies to give us another stalemate.

Ethan and the Bro Mans come in but the Wolves and Storm immediately come in to counter and they fight to the back. Gunner powerbombs Magnus down and hits a top rope headbutt to the ribs. Spud runs out and puts Magnus’ foot on the ropes and Gunner is TICKED. He goes after the Rockstar but gets blasted in the head with the title for a close two. Storm comes back out as Gunner starts Hulking Up. A Rock Bottom lays out Magnus and Gunner goes up again, only to have Storm superkick him out of the air, giving Magnus the pin at 16:38.

Rating: C+. This was a good match but the constant interference needs to calm down for a bit. I do like Storm turning as it means we don’t have to deal with him being the guy who used to be world champion a few years ago for two weeks. The match was going for an epic showdown but that doesn’t really work when we’ve been told about Gunner’s backstory over the span of two hours instead of say two months. Still though, good stuff and an actual match instead of the insanity with Sting and AJ’s shots at Magnus.

Here’s the first of many grudge matches between the two at Lockdown 2014.

James Storm vs. Gunner

New music and long tights for James tonight. They start fighting on the ramp and Storm gets in a good shot early. Gunner rams him into the cage and suplexes him on the floor before going to get some chairs. He throws three of them into the cage but Storm sends him into the steps to slow Gunner down. Storm sends him into the cage and slams the cage door on Gunner’s head. He demands a count and we get the opening bell followed by a four count.

Storm wedges a chair into the corner and takes Gunner down with a jumping DDT for five. Gunner tries to get up but gets choked down by a tag rope and dropped throat first across the top rope. James ties the rope around Gunner’s throat and ties it to the rope but Gunner rips it away, only to be taken down by a low blow. Gunner no sells some ramming into the buckle and rams his own head into the same buckle for good measure.

Some running knees including one to Storm’s head have Storm in trouble and Gunner pulls the top of the steps into the ring. A hard shot to James’ head gets eight but he comes back with a quick Closing Time (Codebreaker) before ramming Gunner into the chair in the corner. James blasts him in the back with the chair but Gunner is getting that look in his eyes. He fights up and scores with a spear and an F5 as the fans think this is awesome. Storm tries to grab the chair but Gunner stands on it to thwart the Cowboy’s plans.

Gunner slams him down again and goes up, only to have Storm throw the chair at Gunner’s head on the way down for seven. Another hard shot to the back gets five and Storm sets up some chairs in the ring. He loads up the Eye of the Storm but Gunner gets to the ropes in the corner. Both guys climb to the middle rope and ram each other into the cage until Gunner superplexes him through the chairs for the win at 12:02.

Rating: B. Good but not great last man standing match here as they beat a lot of tar out of each other. Gunner getting a win over a former world champion on pay per view isn’t going to hurt anything but I just don’t see a top level guy in him. The ending spot and chair pelting spot looked good and the match was a lot of fun, which is what matters here.

And another on Impact, March 27, 2014.

Gunner vs. James Storm

This is an Unlocked match, which is another name for a street fight. The fight is on in the aisle again and Gunner quickly sets up a table. Storm gets in a right hand before the table is completely set so he finishes Gunner’s job. Gunner is whipped knees first into the steps as Tenay tells us we’ll see Ethan and Willow’s confrontation before the show ends. A running knee to Gunner’s head knocks him from the apron to the floor. They haven’t been in the ring yet.

Storm suplexes Gunner onto the ramp but gets sent into the steps for his efforts. Gunner nails him in the ribs with a chair and they finally get inside. The Cowboy comes back with a middle rope DDT of all things for no cover as we take a break. Back with Storm loading up a chair in the corner but getting reversed by Gunner. They slug it out with trashcan lids before Storm gets speared down for two.

Storm counters a sunset flip into a catapult, sending Gunner face first into the chair. A Backstabber sets up a VERY long top rope elbow to give Storm a near fall. Storm pulls out a beer bottle but the distraction lets Gunner spear him through the ropes and through the table on the floor ala Edge and Mick Foley. That only gets two so Gunner sets up two chairs (one of which is broken) in the middle of the ring.

A superplex through the chairs (Storm barely hit them) is enough for two in a nice throwback to the ending at Lockdown. Storm comes back with a Closing Time and a pair of Last Calls for two. James gets the beer bottle but Gunner finds his own to lay out Storm. An F5 is enough to pin the Cowboy at 15:03.

Rating: B+. This was one heck of a fight with both guys beating the tar out of each other. There’s something awesome about two men just hammering each other until one of them can’t get up. I don’t like the story here though as the match was tacked on to the feud after the previous match should have ended things. Still though, awesome stuff.

And the final one from Sacrifice 2014.

James Storm vs. Gunner

I quit match. They slug it out to start with Storm getting the better of it and knocking Gunner out to the floor. Storm whips him into the barricade hard enough to knock it over on top of Gunner. They fight over the steps with Gunner taking over with a hard clothesline. Gunner throws him back inside and finds a trashcan filled with toys. Storm kicks the ropes low into Gunner as they come back inside before an Elevated Stunner (think Orton) but Gunner won’t quit.

A pair of chair shots still won’t make Gunner quit and a cookie sheet still doesn’t do the trick. Storm chokes away in the corner until Guner FINALLY comes back with a running knee to the face to take over. It’s time for the first weapon from Gunner as he grabs a trashcan lid and blasts Storm in the head over and over. Storm finally gets one of his own for a duel but Gunner keeps control.

Gunner nails a swan dive but this time it’s Storm that won’t quit. Instead Gunner tries a charge but goes hard into the post to change control again. Storm sends him into the post one more time and plants Gunner with an Elevated DDT on the floor. Naturally Gunner isn’t ready to quit yet and Storm is getting frustrated.

Storm finds the beer bottle and blasts Gunner in the head to cut him open but of course Gunner won’t quit. Off to a Boston crab of all things but Gunner is quickly in the ropes. Some belt shots to the back have Gunner in trouble and there’s the Last Call to put him down again. He still won’t quit though so Storm just rips at the cut to draw more blood. Gunner rams his own head into the buckle and screams NEVER before hitting three straight F5s.

With nothing else to do, Gunner sets up the two chairs in the ring and bridges the barricade across it. A HUGE superplex puts Storm through the steel and both guys are almost done. Gunner picks up a piece of the beer bottle and drives it into Storm’s head to make him quit at 19:04.

Rating: B-. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. Yeah the match wasn’t bad but I just don’t need to see this match ever again. We get it: Gunner can beat James Storm. Now let us find out what he can do against someone else. Gunner getting the spot instead of Young makes more sense, but I guess Young’s goofiness is just better for business. Or something.

Gunner is a guy that may not be the most interesting or detailed guy in history but he’s incredibly intense and has a great look. I met him at a house show once and the guy is as polite and professional as you could ask for. He’ll also shake your hand off with one of the firmest grips you’ll ever find. He’s grown on me which is surprising given that I didn’t care about him one bit when he started.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today is someone that had one heck of a clothesline: Bull Buchanan.

Buchanan got started in 1995 in SMW as the Punisher. He went about as far as you could go in that promotion before heading to the USWA as Recon of the Truth Commission. The team would be called up to the WWF in mid 1997. We’ll pick things up at the 1997 Survivor Series.

Truth Commission vs. Disciples of Apocalypse

Jackyl, Interrogator, Sniper, Recon

Crush, 8-Ball, Skull, Chainz

The Truth Commission is based on a real South African thing, where there were a lot of crimes were committed during Apartheid and the government said “tell the truth that you committed/witnessed these crimes and say you’re sorry.” Amazingly enough it calmed a lot of people down and made the situation a lot better. That being said, I have NO idea why it’s used as a wrestling gimmick. In short, they’re a military themed group. That sums them up as simply as I can.

Jackyl is the leader and is more famous as Cyrus in ECW. Interrogator is Kurrgan and the real star of the team. Sniper is a French Canadian wrestler who means nothing at all and Recon is Bull Buchanan. Crush is Crush, 8-Ball and Skull are big twins and Chainz is Brian Lee from ECW. This really doesn’t scream interesting to me but this is during the Gang Warz period which didn’t ever do anything for me.

Interrogator and Chainz start things off after a brawl with Chainz hammering away but having no visible effect. A sidewalk slam eliminates Chainz in about a minute. Off to Recon vs. 8-Ball with Recon hitting a World’s Strongest Slam for no cover. Jackyl comes in for what might be the only match he ever wrestled in WWF. Apparently that’s almost true as he only had some Shotgun Saturday Night matches other than this. He’s much better as a manager anyway.

Jackyl drops a top rope knee which is immediately no sold. He chops away a bit but walks into a sidewalk slam for the pin to make it 3-3. Sniper jumps 8-Ball and hits some elbows for two as Jackyl is on commentary now. Off to Crush, the leader of the team, who stomps away on Sniper a bit. Recon comes back in to face Skull and they collide, sending Skull to the floor. 8-Ball comes in illegally and clotheslines Recon down for the pin.

Sniper comes in to beat on Skull but gets caught in a double spinebuster from the twins for two. Interrogator hits 8-Ball from the apron and Sniper hits a bulldog for the elimination, making it 2-2. If this match sounds like a total mess that is hard to follow, it’s because that’s being nice about what’s going on.

Off to Crush for a figure four headscissors on Recon. Skull (I’m picking the names arbitrarily. It makes absolutely no difference at all and JR has no idea which is which anyway) DDTs Sniper but walks into a sidewalk slam from Interrogator for the pin. It’s Crush vs. Sniper and Interrogator and Crush immediately powerslams Sniper down for the pin. Interrogator is in the ring before the pin hits and ANOTHER FREAKING SIDEWALK SLAM gives Interrogator the final pin and the victory.

Rating: F. In ten minutes, we had seven eliminations, FOUR of which were by the SAME FREAKING MOVE. This was another match where just like the first, there was no one out there that could carry things to make the match work in any way. It makes Interrogator looks good, but it barely accomplished that because of how bad the match was.

This one has to be better. From Raw on January 5, 1998.

Sniper/Recon vs. Skull/8-Ball

This is an interesting pair of teams. Sniper/Recon (Recon is more famous as Bull Buchanan) are part of the Truth Commission led by Jackyl who was going to be a huge part of a major angle but was more or less thrown out of the company after being a jerk in general. He wound up in ECW as Cyrus.

Skull/8-Ball are the Disciples of Apocalypse, a biker team that was part of a biker faction. This was a very faction heavy time as there was also the Nation and Los Boricuas, the Latino gang. There you have four factions with 16 guys combined. That covers a lot of ground. The DOA here are more famous as the Harris Brothers, Creative Control, and the Blu Brothers in the mid 90s. Why they kept getting hired is beyond me.

Jackyl gets on commentary here. He goes on one of his rants as Recon beats up Skull. Swinging neckbreaker puts Recon down. Ok Recon is bald. Got it. Hot tags on both ends as the crowd doesn’t seem to care. Here comes Kurrgan, the monster of the Truth Commission, as Skull hits a DDT on Sniper to get the win.

Rating: D-. Wow this was uneventful. These factions feuded for what felt like ever and nothing ever came of it. They all kind of just went away with nothing to show for it, much like a lot of other stuff during the Attitude Era. Nothing to see here other than more weak build for the Rumble where the winner was never once in doubt.

Well….it was better. We’ll try again on Raw, February 9, 1998.

Steve Blackman vs. Recon

Recon is more famous as Bull Buchanan. A few seconds into the match the Jackyl’s music plays and a pulpit comes down from the ceiling with him behind it as he talks about how evil wrestling and this company is. A leg drop from Recon gets two as it’s hard to tell what’s going on in the match as we keep looking at Jackyl. It would be a lot more impressive if he didn’t look at his script every 2 seconds. Sniper, the partner of Recaon, beats on Blackman a bit on the floor and sends him into the steps just because he can.

Sunset flip gets two for Blackman. HORRIBLE Russian leg sweep gets no cover as no one has gone after Jackyl to yell at him. Ross finally says we have a match going on by the way. Granted the match kind of sucks but who cares? Top rope elbow by Blackman misses but Recon misses a rotating splash and a chest stretch ends this clean. This whole match was one long promo by Jackyl. No rating due to me missing most of the match due to the camera being on Jackyl.

Due to what should be obvious reasons, Buchanan was sent to OVW for a lot of training. He would return nearly two years later under the name of Bull Buchahan as Big Boss Man’s partner. They would open Wrestlemania XVI.

Godfather/D’Lo Brown vs. Big Boss Man/Bull Buchanan

Ice-T raps Godfather and Brown to the ring. Apparently it’s pimp or die, which I think might be taking it a bit too far. Buchanan and Brown get things going to prevent us from having a future RTC matchup. D’Lo tries a quick O’Connor Roll but only gets two. Boss Man tries to come in but gets run over by Godfather. Off to Godfather for a clothesline and the spinning legdrop but an elbow misses.

Godfather gets beaten on for a bit but comes back with a hook kick for two. Back to Brown who is almost immediately caught by Buchanan for even more pain. D’Lo pounds on Buchanan in the corner as this is going nowhere so far. Of all people, Bull gets things moving a bit better by climbing the corner for a spinning clothesline. Bull puts him in 619 position and both heels slide under the ropes for a double uppercut.

A clothesline gets two more for Bull and everything breaks down for a few seconds. That goes nowhere so we go back to Buchanan pounding on Brown in the corner. Now we keep the excitement going with a bearhug. Boss Man comes in for some double teaming and does his best to get the fans to care at all.

Brown’s cross body is caught in a backbreaker for two from both guys but as Buchanan goes up, Godfather crotches him down. Brown comes back with a nice top rope rana to put Buchanan down on the mat, allowing for the hot tag to Godfather. House is cleaned and there’s the Ho Train to Boss Man. Bull breaks up the Low Down though, allowing the Boss Man Slam to set up a guillotine legdrop on D’Lo for the pin.

Rating: D+. Who in the world thought this was the right idea for an opening match? They were WAY off base with each other here and the match suffered a lot as a result. This didn’t work on almost any level and on top of all that, the popular team loses. The whole point of an opening is to fire up a crowd, so having one of the most over acts in the company lose was a dumb way to start things off. Just a bad match all around.

He’s on an upswing! Let’s keep going with Raw on April 10, 2000.

The Rock vs. ???

It’s pin/submission/escape here. The opponent(s) are Boss Man and Buchanan, as introduced by HHH and company. Rock fires away on both guys to start before the numbers catch up with him. Both guys beat him down and go for the escape but Rock pulls them both down in a nice display of athleticism. Rock goes to escape but Shane climbs the cage for the save, allowing Buchanan to crotch Rock for the real stop.

A legdrop gets two for Buchanan and Rock is still in trouble. Gee, who would have bet on him getting beaten down this much to start? The ax kick from Bull puts Rock down again for two from both big guys and they’re getting frustrated three minutes into the match. There’s a double suplex to Rock and things slow down a lot. A lot of choking ensues and Rock is sent into the cage.

Buchanan tries the one cool move he can do, a spinning clothesline off the top, but it hits Boss Man by mistake. Rock makes his comeback and hits a Samoan Drop on Bull for two before walking into a sidewalk slam from Boss Man for two. Rock knocks Boss Man down and sees Buchanan trying to leave. He hits Bull in the back and catches a jumping Bull in a Rock Bottom for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: C. Did anyone not know the ending from the opening bell here? The fans were into it but it doesn’t do much this many years later. At the end of the day there was no way Rock wasn’t winning here off a Rock Bottom out of nowhere. It sets up HHH vs. Rock though at one of the best shows ever so I can’t complain much about that.

From a few months later on Raw, June 5, 2000.

Hardy Boys vs. Bull Buchanan/Big Bossman

Bull starts with Matt and a big boot puts Matt down. Off to Boss Man as Lita is watching in the back, having not yet hooked up with the brothers yet. Back to Bull for a backbreaker but he misses a leg drop. Off to Jeff who speeds things up as everything breaks down. Jeff hits a quick Swanton on Bull for the win. This was nothing.

Buchanan would join Right to Censor, including this match at Summerslam 2000.

Right to Censor vs. Too Cool/Rikishi

Too Cool and Rikishi are WAY over at this point and even won the tag titles over the summer. The RTC is Richards/Goodfather/Bull Buchanan at this point. Some of Goodfather’s former women come out with Rikishi, one of which would become known as Victoria. It’s a big brawl to start until we get Scotty pounding on Buchanan. Hotty backflips over Buchanan and pulls him down before getting two off a high cross body. Off to Sexay for a double suplex before Goodfather comes in and falls to the floor. He shoves Victoria down before punching Sexay in the face to take over.

Buchanan gets in some shots of his own and it’s off to Richards for his cheap shots. A powerbomb gets two and JR sounds stunned. Steven gets crotched on top and superplexed down allowing for the hot tag to Rikishi. The fat man cleans house and Victoria throws Richards back in the ring. The RTC is sent into the corner with Too Cool being launched into all of them at once, but Bull gets in a quick ax kick to take the Samoan down. Scotty loads up the Worm but Steven kicks his head off for the pin.

Rating: C. Basic six man tag here to get the crowd going. A fast paced act like Too Cool and Rikishi is always a great choice to start up a show as the crowd gets fired up for the entrance and hopefully stays hot for the rest of the show. The RTC was a fine choice for a heel stable as they took away what the fans wanted to see and the people were glad to see them get beaten up.

Buchanan and Goodfather would get a Tag Team Title shot on Raw, November 6, 2000.

Tag Team Titles: Right to Censor vs. Hardy Boys

The Hardys are defending of course. Lita spears Ivory and hammers away before the match starts, earning a double ejection. The champions double team Buchanan to start and get two off a double suplex. Matt is sent throat first into the middle rope and choked by Goodfather as the challengers take over. A belly to back suplex gets two for Goodfather and he drops Matt with a boot to the chest.

Matt breaks up a superplex and nails a top rope legdrop, allowing the hot tag to Jeff. Everything breaks down and the referee gets knocked to the floor. Goodfather is sent to the floor for a top rope clothesline from Matt. Jeff hits the Swanton on Buchanan but there’s no referee. Edge and Christian hit the ring for a distraction, allowing Steven Richards nail Jeff with a title belt to give Goodfather the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was more about Edge and Christian vs. the Hardys than the new champions but at least they finally did something with the RTC. The team was never going to be anything major so giving them the midcard titles is about as good as they were going to get. Not much to see here.

After losing the titles, the RTC would face the APA on Christmas night, 2000.

Right to Censor vs. APA

It’s Buchanan/Godfather this time. Buchanan gives a very southern promo, talking about how evil the Dudleys are. Bradshaw starts with Godfather and the beating begins. Farrooq and Buchanan come in and the bald one takes a spinebuster. Bradshaw comes in and runs people over, including a top rope shoulder. Ivory interferes and Jackie runs her over. They get in the ring because Jackie has to get on my nerves at least once a year. Val Venis uses the distraction to run in and DDT Bradshaw. A Buchanan legdrop ends this. The match was nothing.

Commissioner William Regal would use the RTC as minions to attack Chris Jericho. From Raw, March 12, 2001.

Chris Jericho vs. Right To Censor

All four of them here, as in Richards, Venis, Buchanan and Goodfather. Oh and Ivory is chilling there also. At the very least they have to tag so this won’t be a total slaughter. Buchanan starts as this is luckily non-title. No idea why Regal didn’t want the title on the line but I doubt it matters for the most part. Middle rope dropkick sets up the bulldog and the Lionsault but Goodfather makes the save.

Off to Venis now as the problem becomes clear: none of the RTC are that good. Regal would keep sending these matches against Jericho for awhile including a handicap tables match with the Dudleys. The RTC finally triple teams him to take over for Venis. Venis gets a Russian leg sweep and it’s off to Goodfather. Jericho fights them off but walks into a Steven Kick which gets them nowhere as the heels have some miscommunications and start brawling as Jericho gets the Walls on Val and then Buchanan and then Goodfather, only for Val to get a powerbomb move for the pin.

Rating: C. For a 4-1 match this wasn’t all that bad. The idea of stacking the deck against Jericho was a good idea which resulted in Jericho beating Regal at the PPV for the IC Title before losing it to him at Backlash I think. Not bad here but really nothing they could go anywhere with as he wasn’t going to beat four guys.

After the team disbanded, Buchanan was sent back to OVW. He would return in late 2002, including this match on Velocity, August 10, 2002.

Mike Awesome vs. Bull Buchanan

Bull now has short red trunks and a blond mohawk. Awesome quickly clotheslines him out to the floor and nails a big dive to take over. Back in and a top rope clothesline gets two on Bull but he comes back with a neckbreaker for two of his own. Buchanan nails him with the running corner clothesline and we hit the chinlock. They head back to the floor with Awesome getting sent into the steps. It doesn’t seem to have much of an effect though as he comes back in with a slingshot shoulder. The Awesome Splash misses and Buchanan ends him with a guillotine legdrop.

Rating: D+. Awesome is always fun to watch and the match was a decent enough power brawl for four minutes. Buchanan does look a lot better here, but at the end of the day this is just a match on Velocity and not Raw or Smackdown. Awesome being treated like this still doesn’t make sense to me as he could have been a fairly big deal if treated as something other than a big jobber.

Buchanan would head off to Japan after this for a long run in AJPW. Here he is on July 18, 2004. This is one heck of a lineup.

Animal/Robert Gibson/Gran Hamada vs. Jamal/Buchanan/Taka Michinoku

Jamal and Hamada are about to start but Jamal tags out to Taka to make it fair. That sends Hamada over to tag in Animal…..who tags Hamada right back in before there’s any contact made. Hamada picks the ankle to start and easily takes Taka down to the mat. Back up and Hamada tries a Fujiwara Armbar but Taka is quickly in the ropes. A tilt-a-whirl slam gets two on Taka and it’s off to Gibson vs. Buchanan.

Robert’s full nelson has no effect so he tries it a few more times until Buchanan climbs the ropes. Gibson is the first smart guy ever as he just lets Buchanan fall to the mat instead of letting himself get rolled up. Buchanan hammers away in the corner before going Old School into a neckbreaker. Gibson avoids a legdrop and rolls over to tag Animal. Buchanan tags Jamal and it’s time for the big power showdown.

They lock up with both guys being shoved into the corners. With that going nowhere, Jamal runs Animal over with a clothesline and tags Taka, who dives into a powerslam for two. Back to Gibson who drops some knees before bringing Hamada in. The heels (I think?) take over on Hamada in the corner with Buchanan pounding away with right hands and a slam. Back to Jamal for some elbow drops before Hamada is put in the corner for a running dropkick, splash and Umaga Attack for two more.

Buchanan hits the top rope clothesline and Jamal adds the top rope splash but Animal makes the save. Taka superkicks him for the same but Hamada scores with a tornado DDT. It’s off to Buchanan vs. Gibson as everything breaks down. Buchanan loads up a powerbomb on Hamada but gets hurricanranaed down. An ax kick is enough to put Hamada down for three.

Rating: C. This was a nice mix of tag wrestlers in a big six man and the match wasn’t too bad. Buchanan looks much better as a power guy just there to beat people up rather than trying to fit him into a character or stable. Granted that’s something that works a lot better in a place like Japan where it’s more about the action than the characters and promos.

We’ll wrap things up with a tag match from Pro Wrestling Noah from November 14, 2008.

Keith Walker/Buchanan vs. Akira Taue/Takeshi Morishima

It’s a brawl to start and all four guys head out to the floor. The Americans have the early advantage with both guys choking away and Buchanan using a table as a bonus. Taue comes back with a chair to Buchanan’s ribs and a DDT onto a platform. Walker has a bit more luck with Morishima by sending him into the barricade and nailing him in the ribs with a chair. Keith and Takeshi get back inside with Takeshi backdropping out of a powerbomb attempt and sitting on Walker’s chest.

Taue comes in for a double big boot followed by a series of running boots to the face in the corner. Walker finally comes back with a clothesline and makes the tag to Buchanan to clean house. A knee drop gets two on Taue and a claw slam gets the same. Morishima comes back in with a missile dropkick but Buchanan kicks him in the face. Back to Walker for two off a spear and a chokebomb to the hugh Morishima but Taue makes the save. Keith charges into the post though and Taue chokeslams Takeshi onto Walker for two. A Saito Suplex is enough to pin Walker.

Rating: C-. This was fine save for the barrage of boots to the face. It’s like the chops and forearms in ROH: do something else already. The match was another big power brawl and there’s nothing wrong with that. Walker was even more of a muscle guy that Buchanan but somehow with less variety to his style.

Buchanan is a guy that is fine as a monster in a stable or tag team but he was never going to be a star on his own. He had some good agility though and that’s more something that always impressive in guys his size. The RTC run wasn’t bad at all but Buchanan was a guy that did stuff which was topped by other guys his size.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Now don’t laugh. Today is Hugh Morrus.

Morrus got started in 1990 and eventually started the gimmick of Crash the Terminator. He would wrestle in the original ECW for a bit around this time, including this match at Ultra Clash 1993.

Headhunters vs. Crash the Terminator/Miguel Perez Jr.

The Headhunters are two big fat guys that look alike from Puerto Rico. Migues Perez was one of Loc Boricuas. Crash is more commonly known as Hugh Morrus or Bill DeMott. THIS is the main event? There are baseball bats involved here somehow but I can’t understand the ring announcer. There’s something about counting from ten to zero. Ah ok. The bat is in the ring and we start at opposite sides of the ring. At the end of the countdown you rush the ring and whoever gets the bat first can use it. That makes sense.

Perez gets it and hands it to Crash. Shouldn’t a bat to the back half kill you? Joey busts into a chorus of Take me Out to the Ball Game in a funny line. It’s another brawl where we can’t see anything. Crash went through a wall. Miguel takes like five bat shots and is fine. There’s a HUGE hole in the wall where the other two went through it. Ok the bat shots are just stupid now as there have been at least thirty combined of them.

The referee just strolls around the ring out of boredom which is funny for some reason. Perez misses a Lionsault so bad that it makes Starship Pain look perfect. Miguel and a Headhunter (Joey doesn’t know their names either and they’re more or less identical) go up the scaffold. Everyone misses a top rope move as the scaffold means nothing apparently. A Headhunter hits a moonsault to end this insanity. This was for a Japanese tag title apparently. Thanks for letting us know that.

Rating: D+. Just pure insanity but since I COULDN’T SEE MOST OF IT I can’t say it was good. ECW always had a big problem with their camera work and this was no exception. You couldn’t see anything and the match is completely uninteresting because of it. The bat stopped being important about three minutes in and then it was just pounding on each other. Odd choice for the main event too.

It was off to WCW after this with the new name of Hugh Morrus. One of his first matches was on WCW Pro, December 30, 1995.

Hugh Morrus vs. Terry Morgan

Morrus runs him over to start before planting Morgan with a powerslam. A sitout powerbomb ends Terry in less than a minute.

We’ll up the opposition a bit. From Nitro on February 5, 1996.

Kevin Sullivan/Hugh Morrus vs. Arn Anderson/Brian Pillman

Before the match we get a clip of their brawl the previous week. Sweet goodness I could listen to that Horsemen music for a long time. Bell rings after a break with Morrus vs. Pillman. I think this is Pillman’s last Nitro. Bischoff points out how scary it is to have Anderson be the sanest guy in the match. Pillman can’t hurt Morrus as this was when they wanted Morrus to be something special I think.

Big press slam puts Pillman down and the same goes for Anderson. We hear about the strap match on Sunday. I’ll post my review of the PPV at the end of this review. Make sure to check that out as it might be the most bizarre stories in wrestling history. Off to Morrus vs. Anderson and Anderson hits a spinebuster for no cover.

Pillman comes in, slaps Morrus and then tags in Anderson. I liked his insane bits back in the day like this. Anderson with a chinlock now as we haven’t had Sullivan in here for the majority of the match. Back off to Pillman and then right back to Anderson. Other than the opening I don’t think the Pillman has been in there longer than 15 seconds.

It’s been about 85% Horsemen here and Morrus is sent to the floor. Pillman sends him into the railing and the laughing dude is starting to laugh. Bischoff says we’re awaiting word from the coroner for word about Hogan and his eye. I give up. Sullivan vs. Pillman now and the fight is on. Sullivan bites his face and wants blood. Anderson saves his partner and Anderson gets a broom broken over his back by someone we can’t see. The Dungeon (Morrus/Sullivan) beats on Pillman with the strap for the DQ.

Rating: D+. Basic brawl for the most part but the Sullivan vs. Pillman was interesting to say the least. It was some of the best acting that has ever happened in wrestling and evolved into Benoit vs. Sullivan. This feud went on forever and thankfully the NWO came in to end it. Basic match but it set up the PPV match well enough.

Now for a big singles match from May 6, 1996 on Nitro.

Hugh Morrus vs. Randy Savage

We’re already talking about the PPV in August of all things. No one ever said that Bischoff didn’t push his ideas. Morrus jumps Savage on the floor and the fight is on early. He controls early as Savage is in trouble. Morrus (Bill DeMott) puts the hat and glasses on and even the jacket just to make sure he’s going to die. Savage snaps (into it) and choeks Morrus over the top with the jacket and it’s a DQ very quickly.

Off to PPV now for a gimmicky brawl. From Souled Out 1997.

Big Bubba vs. Hugh Morrus

This is Dungeon vs. NWO as Bubba jumped so the Dungeon is after him. This is a Mexican death match despite the lack of Mexicanocity. No intro for Morrus at all. Morrus looks like Big Dick Dudley. Ok then. The whole death match aspect here is never really explained but whatever. Morrus hits a clothesline to put Bubba on the floor.

Bubba finds a chain from somewhere and whips Morrus with it. We’re told that a Mexican Death Match means anything goes. No Laughing Matter hits and of course no cover. Oh ok it’s more or less last man standing. Patrick counts as slowly as possible so Morrus gets after him.

Boss Man gets back up and does nothing but really basic punches and strikes. Morrus just blasts him with a low blow and Bubba heads out for a walk. We go to the stage where Morrus misses a moonsault, which was completely messed up anyway so they would have been on top of each other. Bubba grabs a motorcycle and runs down Morrus Rikishi style to of course end it.

Rating: D. Kind of just a brawl here with Bubba not doing much at all. Naturally this had no point and would only be on this PPV and this one alone. This went nowhere and the ending was really stupid. At least it was short. Whenever we get to that point it’s never a good sign.

Morrus would continue to feud with the Horsemen, including this match on the March 24, 1997 episode of Nitro.

Chris Benoit vs. Hugh Morrus

Brawl to start as Tenay says this is a real life feud with Benoit vs. Sullivan. Morrus hits a gorilla press on Benoit followed by a running corner splash. We get what sounds like a MORRUS chant. Benoit comes back with a release German but Konnan shoves him down when he’s loading up the Swan Dive. No Laughing Matter gets the quick pin.

It had to start somewhere. From Nitro on September 22, 1997.

Bill Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Tenay has no idea who Goldberg is, shocking the other announcers. Larry: “YOU DON’T KNOW?” They trade hammerlocks to start and seem to miss each other a bit. Goldberg takes him down into a knee bar and pounds away in the corner. Morrus comes out of the corner with a middle rope clothesline and No Laughing Matter hits….for two? Goldberg pops up from a shoulder block and hits a powerslam and a regular slam to follow it up. The yet to be named Jackhammer ends this quick. As Goldberg says after the match: “That’s #1”.

Here’s a match with a guy that would be a much bigger deal a year later. From Nitro on December 1, 1997.

Wrath vs. Hugh Morrus

Feeling out process to start with both guys trying to show off the power. Morrus takes over for a bit but Vandenberg trips him up, allowing Wrath to knock Hugh to the floor. Wrath hits a sweet flip dive off the apron to take Morrus down and we go back inside. A top rope clothesline gets two for Wrath as we see Mortis wrap a chain around his boot. I think you can see the rest of this coming: Wrath holds Morrus for a kick with said boot but gets blasted in the head himself, allowing Hugh to hit No Laughing Matter (moonsault) for the fast pin.

Off to Thunder on June 24, 1998.

Eddie Guerrero vs. Hugh Morrus

Guerrero is still looking over his shoulder for his crazy nephew and Morrus pounds away on him to start. Eddie finally gets away for a bit and dropkicks the knee out before hitting a nice headscissors. The fans chant for Chavo and Eddie freaks out but stays on the knee like a good villain. Morrus makes his comeback with a quick slam but misses an elbow off the top. Chavo comes out to a big reaction and the distraction lets Hugh slam Eddie off the top and hit the moonsault for the pin. More storyline development though the same thing we got on Nitro.

Morrus would get in the middle of a long feud on Nitro, February 22, 1999.

Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus

Ralphus is now in a blue dress with a bit lower neckline. Before the match, Jericho implies that Saturn is gay because he wears the dress despite not having to anymore. They hit the floor for a chase right after the bell before Morrus slams Jericho down. A delayed gorilla press puts Jericho on the mat again as Steiner vs. Goldberg is official for later.

Morrus misses a top rope elbow and goes outside, allowing Jericho to nail a top rope cross body to take out Hugh and Jimmy Hart. Some flowers to Morrus’ back put him down and we hit the chinlock inside. A slap to Morrus’ chest wakes him up and Heenan is in full comedy mode about Ralphus. Morrus does the Jericho strut but Chris kicks the leg out.

Back up and Morrus counters a hurricanrana with a powerbomb before nailing a running splash in the corner. Jericho avoids a charge in the corner and rolls him up for two with his feet on the ropes. Ralphus tries Morrus but Saturn comes out and strips the dress off the toothless wonder. Saturn goes in and hits Jericho with a Death Valley Driver, allowing No Laughing Matter to give Morrus the pin.

Rating: D+. This is a recent change to WCW and it’s getting annoying: long matches to set up a quick finish. I like long wrestling matches when they’re entertaining, but I can do without nine minutes of Chris Jericho vs. Hugh Morrus when we know Saturn is comingout due to Jericho’s earlier comments. The same thing was true of Kaz vs. Disco. It wasn’t entertaining but we had to sit through it forever anyway. I shouldn’t be able to make a sandwich during a Kaz Hayashi match.

From a week later.

Hugh Morrus vs. Perry Saturn

Saturn hammers away to start but Jimmy Hart trips him up to give Morrus control. Tony announces Hak vs. Raven vs. Bam Bam Bigelow and Windham/Hennig vs. Malenko/Benoit for Uncensored. Morrus charges into a boot in the corner and Saturn suplexes him down. A Fameasser puts Hugh down but another Hart distraction lets Morrus nail a clothesline. Back in and Morrus gorilla presses him down for two before cranking on a chinlock.

A clothesline gets two more for Morrus as the fans are just dead here. Back to the chinlock for a bit before Morrus goes up, only to jump into a northern lights suplex for two. There’s a t-bone suplex to put Morrus down but Chris Jericho comes out with I think a chain to lay Saturn out. No Laughing Matter gives Morrus the pin.

Rating: D. What a dull match. I have no idea why they started doubling the length of TV matches but it’s very annoying when they have boring matches like this filling in all that time. This really didn’t work as about three minutes were spent in a chinlock. The Jericho vs. Saturn feud needs to die already.

Morrus would hook up with Brian Knobbs as part of the First Family at Fall Brawl 1999.

Brian Knobbs/Hugh Morrus vs. Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko

Pre-match the face team (Douglas/Malenko) do their thing, but Shane says the wrong city and state. Oh dear. Douglas/Malenko are part of the Revolution, which was supposed to be a youth uprising thing but turned into an anti-American thing like a month after this. Knobbs/Morrus are the First Family, which is Jimmy Hart’s very low level stable. This is also No DQ for no apparent reason. Big brawl to start so Dean kicks them both in the balls to take over. Shane comes back in and the Revolution cleans the ring out.

Double baseball slides take out the First Family as this is still a big brawl. The Revolution is sent into various metal objects and something goes flying that we can’t identify. Either way it half kills Shane. We get things down to normal now as Knobbs rubs his armpit in the face of Shane. Shane gets all ticked off and brings in Dean, who has little trouble taking care of Knobbs. Speaking of Knobbs, why in the world is he on PPV in 1999?

Dean works the arm and then the wrist. When you can make a wristlock look freaking sick, that’s a good sign. Off to Morrus and Shane again as this is more or less target practice for the Revolution. Knobbs and Shane go back to the floor for more brawling so back in the ring Shane is tagged in. Tony gets his first stupid line of the match in by saying they’ve kept this in the ring so far. It’s important to mention that it’s the first stupid line because we’ve been on the air about 40 minutes so far.

The Revolution clears the ring again and Shane takes over on Knobbs soon thereafter. Double teaming gets Douglas down so Knobbs gets to go on his, ahem, offense. Middle rope splash eats a foot which looks like it nearly broke Shane’s leg. Double tag with a small pop for Dean, who I think is half of the face team. Dean cleans house….and gets tripped up by Knobbs, allowing Morrus to take over and hit No Laughing Matter to end this. Clean. On PPV. Hugh Morrus pinned Dean Malenko. In 1999. And people wonder why the Radicals happened in four months.

Rating: D. The match was a mess, there seemed to be no po….oh screw it. WHAT THE HECK ARE THEY THINKING??? Dude, why in the world would this be the booking move? I mean really it’s HUGH FREAKING MORRUS and BRIAN KNOBBS going over Shane Douglas and Dean Malenko in 1999. This is so idiotic I can’t even begin to describe it. Dean, please just leave now. It’s not going to get any better, I assure you.

After taking several months off at the end of the year, Morrus would return as Captain Rection of the MIA. Here he is on Nitro, July 24, 2000 in a mess that only WCW 2000 could produce.

Filthy Animals vs. Misfits in Action vs. Perfect Event vs. Natural Born Thrillers

The teams are Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera, Hugh Morrus/Lash Leroux (Captain Rection and Corporal Cajun, which I won’t be calling them), Shawn Stasiak/Chuck Palumbo and Sean O’Haire/Mark Jindrak respectfully. This is in the Caged Heat cage, which is WCW’s name for Hell in a Cell. It’s escape only and the last team in the cage is out of the four way title match at New Blood Rising. Palumbo immediately goes for the door but gets caught and beaten down just as fast. Konnan is on commentary here.

This is more like a battle royal than a cage match to start, as everyone is beating on everyone at once. O’Haire hits the first big spot of the match, firing off the Seanton (Swanton) Bomb on Morrus. There are no covers in this as it’s escape only remember. The fighting continues as we see Rey and Juvi hiding in the corner of the cage. That’s pretty smart when you think about it.

Palumbo hits a jumping back elbow on Morrus and in the chaos, the Thrillers both walk out and advance to the PPV. Rey goes up for a cross body onto Stasiak but Stasiak catches him in mid air. That’s more power than he usually shows. Juvy dropkicks Rey onto Stasiak, sending Shawn to the floor, where he and Palumbo make their escape. We’re down to the Filthy Animals vs. the Misfits.

Morrus loads up the No Laughing Matter moonsault but Juvy makes the save. The Bronco Buster keeps Morrus down….and then things stop making sense as the Perfect Event lock the cage. No explanation is given for this but I guess it makes sense in Russo’s mind. Mark Madden pulls out some bolt cutters for Konnan who doesn’t use them immediately. The match basically stops as Disco Inferno of the Animals goes up top and opens a door on top of the cage.

Back in the ring the Animals set up a ladder because this match isn’t overbooked enough yet. They beat down the Misfits so they can climb the ladder and dive on them again. You know, because going through the opening in the roof would make too much sense. Everyone is down after the dive and for a second we actually get a breather. Morrus is up first and climbs the ladder to escape, only to be stomped on by Disco who is still on top of the cage.

Rey climbs up and it’s Juvi vs. Lash, the latter of which has done next to nothing in this match. Konnan finally cuts the lock off the door as Morrus fights off Rey and Disco (Rey is a heel here, if that gives you any idea how stupid this company was) as the other two walk out the door. So now there’s no one in the cage but the match continues. Tony: “We’re completely lost.”

There’s a table set up on the floor and Morrus teases diving off the top through Juvi through said table, but Rey stops him from killing himself. Juvy gets up and stands the table against the cage before sending Lash through it. Morrus and Rey go back through the roof and down into the ring again because….well why not? It doesn’t last long though as Morrus counters a rana into a powerbomb to escape and…..win I guess?

Rating: W. As in WHAT? Where in the world do I begin? First of all, why would you have a big match like this to qualify for another match? Second, why would you have a match like this to eliminate someone? Third, why didn’t the match end when everyone was out of the cage? Fourth, if they could go through the door only, WHY WOULD THEY GO ON THE FREAKING ROOF?

Fifth, why would this match be on Nitro instead of on the PPV? Sixth, why did it take Konnan so long to open the door? Seventh, why did Madden have bolt cutters? Eighth, why were the first two teams in this in the first place? Ninth, who thought Rey as a heel was a good idea? Finally, WHAT DID I JUST WATCH???

Rection would go after the US Title and receive a shot at Halloween Havoc 2000.

US Title: Jim Duggan/Lance Storm vs. General Rection

Storm is US Champion and has Major Gunns with him who is there against her will. Those white shorts were incredible looking on her though. Duggan was turned heel for zero apparent reason but hey, why not go against his character for about 12 years? Storm is still awesome in this role though so I’ll give him that. I feel sorry for Rection. He was trying as hard as he could here but the name was just something you couldn’t take him seriously with.

Duggan’s board is thrown out. I wish someone would take away my bored(om). The fans chant USA for the American face here. The Americans start us off here. Storm comes in and Rection clears the ring. Storm in now as nothing is really going on yet. They’re trying to make Rection look like a big deal here but like I’ve said, with that name how is that really possible?

Hacksaw goes for the referee but does nothing with him. He looks old and fat here so I guess he fits in perfectly. Double clothesline puts both guys down. I know I’m not saying much here but there’s nothing to say here. Sleeper goes on and draws some boos. Rection moves out of the way so Storm drills Duggan. Madden says the General has to beat both guys then says just one guy. Love that clarification Mark. I bet if this was TNA you’d know for sure.

Down goes everyone included the referee leaving only Duggan standing. Duggan hits a Piledriver but there’s no referee. He finally comes back and gets crushed on Rection’s kickout. Elix Skipper, another member of Team Canada, comes out with the board but Gunns drills him with the Canadian flag. She jumps Storm, allowing Rection to hit the moonsault (as in his head hits Duggan’s knee kind of) for the US Title.

Rating: D-. All because of Gunns here. This was just boring and the missed spot near the end just killed this thing out of whatever it had left going for it. General Rection is the US Champion. Is calling him Hugh Morrus really all that bad? It’s certainly a better sounding name but whatever. Pretty weak match so it fits in with the rest of the show.

He would try to get it back at Mayhem 2000.

US Title: Lance Storm vs. General Rection

They take Bigelow out while Storm comes out. Nice guys there. Gunns looks great at least. Storm says he’s fighting hurt which no one believes. Storm is champion here. We get a Rocky Horror reference for no apparent reason at all. And to the shock of no one that has paid attention to this company, Bigelow pops up and drills Rection from behind and of course he’s fine. Reason for this? Who cares? Logic behind this? Not important. IT’S A SWERVE!

Stevie says it’s coming together now. What the heck is coming together??? How in the world does this make sense? What does Bigelow have to do with the Canadians? I’d assume he was paid off or something but why should we need to be told that? Storm works on the head. Uh make that the ribs. Or maybe the knee. And so much for that as Rection sends him into the railing to break the momentum.

And so much for THAT as Storm kicks him in the knee to take over again. Storm goes for the Maple Leaf back in the ring but can’t get it on before the General gets to the ropes. They really tried to push Rection at the very end but at the end of the day his name was General Rection so no one bought this. Rection tries to make another comeback but the second best superkick in wrestling takes him down.

Rection gets a powerslam and Gunns crotches him as he goes up for the moonsault. And never mind as he just gets up and hits it anyway. Rection hit two offensive moves and the moonsault is a BIG stretch as it was more or less a headbutt with a twist. This might be the weakest feud ending win for a face that I have ever seen.

Rating: D. Major Gunns looked good in those tight shorts and that’s about it. They cut the legs out from under Rection here as he was DOMINATED and got taken down by Storm time after time again. This was just awful with Storm looking completely dominant. There was about five minutes missing here but we got the Mancow vs. Hart match baby!

Morrus would head to the WWF during the InVasion but wouldn’t do much. Here’s one of his few Raw matches from August 20, 2001.

APA/Scotty 2 Hotty/Big Show/Spike Dudley/Billy Gunn vs. Dudley Boys/Chuck Palumbo/Sean O’Haire/Hugh Morrus/Tommy Dreamer

There are twelve in this if you don’t feel like counting. Farrooq vs. Palumbo to start things off. Quickly off to Sean and Scotty. I wouldn’t expect any long segments in this match. Morrus and Dreamer try to double team Hotty but get taken down by a double clothesline. Here’s Gunn who gets caught in What’s Up but the APA saves. Bradshaw pounds on Tommy and Spike adds a double stomp off the top.

Dreamer catches Spike in a half crab but it’s off to Bubba for some power. A HUGH double flapjack gets two for D-Von. Morrus comes in and walks into a Dudley Dog. Show comes in and everything breaks down. It’s finishers all around for the next minute or so, ending with Show killing Dreamer with the chokeslam for the win.

Rating: C-. This was a big mess but the parade of finishers is always fun to see. It makes no sense as why wouldn’t they use those all the time, but it’s always cool to see. This was really the only way to get most of the people on the roster onto the shows, especially before the Brand Split, which really was a good thing.

The InVasion didn’t have much for Morrus so we’ll jump ahead to June 1, 2002 on the Saturday night Velocity show.

Hugh Morrus vs. Albert

Albert hammers away to start and runs him over with a clothesline. Morrus fights back and goes to the middle rope, only to dive into a bicycle kick to lay him out. We hit an abdominal stretch of all things on Morrus but Albert gets caught holding the ropes. Morrus makes his comeback with a shoulder block and a release German suplex for two. A top rope elbow gets the same for Morrus but he misses the moonsault. The Baldo Bomb is enough to give Albert the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad power match here but the abdominal stretch felt like Albert was trying psychology but had no idea what he was doing. Morrus continues to move around far better than someone of his size should be able to. Albert’s push was coming and a name change to A-Train helped a bit.

We’ll wrap it up with Morrus, now under his real name of Bill DeMott, facing the debuting Nathan Jones on Smackdown, April 10, 2003.

Bill DeMott vs. Nathan Jones

The massive Jones shoves him into the corner with ease but DeMott shouts that this is his show. Jones easily throws him out to the floor, brings him back inside and ends him with a big boot.

Morrus was a fairly talented big man who would fine his real niche as a trainer on Tough Enough and down in NXT.  No he wasn’t a huge star, but to go from a guy named Hugh Morrus to a two time US Champion is quite the accomplishment.  He had a good moonsault and looked tough enough (see what I did there?) and WCW took a small chance on him.  Morrus wasn’t great or anything but he did well enough.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Today we’re going to look at a technician whose son is far more famous than he is: Bob Orton.

Bob got his start in 1972 but we’ll pick things up in Mid-South in 1981.

Mississippi Title: Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Garvin

Orton is defending. Garvin takes him down with a wristlock to start followed by a headlock on the mat. These guys look a lot alike from behind so it’s kind of hard to tell them apart. Back up and Orton misses a dropkick and Garvin headlocks him out of the corner to maintain control. They get back up again with Orton hammering away to take over. Garvin whips him into the corner and nails a backdrop, only to have the corner headlock countered into a belly to back suplex. Bob hits a middle rope elbow followed by a piledriver to retain.

Rating: D+. Not bad here but the time hurt them a lot. I did like the psychology near the end with Orton catching on to the earlier headlock and countering to take over. The piledriver wasn’t bad and the match did what it could in the time they had. Garvin was just a guy at this point and not the bigger deal he would become later.

Orton would head to the WWF and get a World Title shot in Philadelphia on May 22, 1982.

WWF World Title: Bob Backlund vs. Bob Orton Jr.

This is Orton’s return it seems. This is called the main event despite three more matches after this. Backlund outmoves him to start and trips Orton easily. Orton, a very good scientific wrestler in his own right, can’t keep up with Backlund at all and almost gets sent to the floor because he can’t even stand up when Backlund goes after him. There’s an abdominal stretch by the champ but Orton escapes.

Backlund hooks a top wristlock so Orton braces against the referee to backflip out of it. The champ trips him immediately but it was a cool visual. We get a test of strength and Backlund monkey flips him over but maintains the grip. Off to a bodyscissors as this is all Backlund so far but he’s not doing much damage. Instead he’s getting in Orton’s head which is a lot more interesting.

Backlund fakes him out on two monkey flips so Orton tries an elbow. Backlund avoids THAT and Orton is ticked off so he heads to the outside to cool off a bit. Backlund looks awesome so far. Orton tries an armdrag and is IMMEDIATELY taken into a headscissors. Backlund is so fast. I just realized they’re both named Bob so I had to go back and edit that name out. Pinfall reversal sequence results in a backslide for two for Backlund.

Orton wants a handshake and actually doesn’t sucker Backlund in. They go to the ropes and Backlund gives him a clean break but the Cowboy doesn’t, smashing Backlund with an elbow. Out to the floor and Backlund goes into the steel as Orton takes over. Backlund gets whipped over the railing and may have hurt his back. Somehow he’s not counted out so Orton stomps on him some more.

Here comes the superplex which is Orton’s finisher. Why can’t more people use basic moves like that and have them be built up as finishers? Anyway Backlund breaks that up and hits a middle rope forearm to knock Orton into the corner. Backlund hooks a suplex and pounds on Orton. Orton is in big trouble and rolls to the floor. Back inside and Backlund hits a not that great piledriver for two.

Orton comes back with a belly to back suplex and both guys are down. They slug it out from their knees and Orton gets his knee up in the corner to take Backlund down. Orton goes lucha and tries a Vader Bomb but it gets knees. Backlund knocks him to the floor which doesn’t last long as Backlund knees him in the head and dropkicks him right back to the floor. Now Orton is running which is where we get to the interesting part of Backlund which I’ll get to later. Out to the floor and Orton finds a rope from somewhere to choke Backlund with and the champ misses the count, giving Orton the win.

Rating: B. This was a very fun match as Backlund was the guy who was rather uninteresting until he was pushed to the edge when he would blow everyone away like he did here with Orton. He’s a fun guy to watch and would be even better in stuff like Texas Death Matches where his back was to the wall and he had to fight for everything he had, which he could do quite well. Fun match and by far the best of the night so far.

Orton would jump to the NWA and appear at Starrcade 1983 as one of Ric Flair’s cronies.

Wahoo McDaniel/Mark Youngblood vs. Dick Slater/Bob Orton

Slater and Orton put Flair out with a broken neck and McDaniel and Youngblood are Flair’s friends, here for revenge. Youngblood and McDaniel are both Native Americans so they come to the ring in big headdresses. Before the bell Dusty Rhodes is introduced to the live crowd for no apparent reason. Wahoo and Slater start things off with McDaniel quickly throwing him over the top and out onto the apron.

Back in and Wahoo works on the arm before it’s off to Mark for some arm work of his own. We cut to an overhead camera view which is pretty disorienting. Slater is slammed down but comes back with a quick rollup for two. Mark puts on a hammerlock as we go back to the overhead view. Slater is kicked to the apron again but comes back in with a Russian legsweep for two. Orton comes in with a knee to the back and it’s Youngblood in trouble.

A gorilla press backbreaker has Youngblood down again but Bob misses an elbow. After a quick chase on the floor, Orton brings Slater back in after only a brief rest on the apron. Actually scratch that again as the tag doesn’t count for some reason. It’s very clear that the tag team formula hasn’t been invented yet. A crisscross results in a backbreaker to Youngblood and a tag off to Slater. There’s a gutwrench suplex for two on Mark and he falls to the floor for some stomping by Orton.

Youngblood breaks the count by a second but the punishment to the back continues with a reverse chinlock. Orton lets go on the hold and stomps him in the face for good measure. Slater comes in and breaks up a tag before suplexing Mark down for two. Back up and they bang heads, allowing for the hot tag to Wahoo. He cleans house with an atomic drop on Orton and a big chop for good measure.

Everything breaks down and it’s Wahoo getting double teamed for a change. A belly to back suplex gets several two counts for Dick before it’s back to Orton. Bob misses a headbutt and it’s off to Mark who speeds things up almost immediately. Wahoo is sent to the floor and Youngblood has to fight off both villains on his own. After a quick double beating, Orton hits Youngblood with the superplex for the pin.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but the majority of it was Slater and Orton toying with Youngblood and McDaniel which doesn’t make for very entertaining action. I’m not sure what sort of revenge this gets for Flair and it makes the Native Americans look pretty lame. Also this is the fourth straight loss for the good guys here.

It was off to the WWF soon after this, including this match at the Brawl to End It All.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Greg Valentine

Valentine was a much bigger deal back in this era, even “being awarded” the WWF Title once in a big mess that was a pretty decent story. Anyway let’s get to this. We get promos from both guys. Valentine says Hogan is going to feel his wrath. There’s a reason he rarely talked. Albano is his manager. This guy was BUSY back then.

Hogan had only been champion about 6 months at this point so his title reign wasn’t really huge yet. Eye of the Tiger for his music at this point along with the white tights. Sweet GOODNESS Hogan is over. The song fits perfectly here, almost better than Real American. What was up with the five bell strikes after everything Fink said? Hammer jumps Hogan and we’re on.

Oh come on it’s 1984 like that’s going to work at all. This is Hogan back when he was in his 20s so he’s moving incredibly well. Scratch that actually as he’s 31 here. It’s so weird to think that his big break didn’t come until he was that old. It just comes off as strange in today’s era of people being world champion by their mid 20s.

Valentine reverses a headlock into a suplex to take some control. Hogan takes back over a bit later with just pure power. He even throws in a shoulderbreaker to mess with our heads a bit. We hit the floor and it’s all Hogan. Valentine jumps him as he gets back in and Gene says it’s because Valentine is a capitalist. Ok then.

A chinlock has our hero in trouble. Hogan does the always funny finger shake of no before the comeback. He throws some left hands which are weird to see from him. Valentine gets some chair shots to the knee and the referee is ok with it I guess. Figure four is blocked twice so Valentine just punches him. Rather than Hulking Up Hogan just hits Valentine as he’s coming off the top and drops the leg to retain. It was a different time I guess.

Rating: C+. Nothing that special here as it’s really just a standard Hogan title defense. It’s not bad or anything but it’s just Hogan out there doing his thing and not really looking like he’s in that much trouble. Still though he was moving very well out there and had the place rocking so I’ll give him something for that. Decent match and fine for a basic title defense.

Here’s a match from August 10, 1984 against a fellow legend.

Pat Patterson vs. Bob Orton

Orton jumps him at the bell and takes over before dropping a knee for two. Patterson quickly fights out of a chinlock and catapults him into the corner. We actually get a bit violent as Patterson wraps the leg around the post a few times. Back in and we hit the Figure Four but Orton makes the ropes after just a few seconds. Orton is limping around now and stalls on the apron for a breather, only to get caught in a knee crusher. It doesn’t seem to have much effect though as Orton hits a big backbreaker for two. Pat grabs a quick rollup but Orton reverses into one of his own and grabs the trunks for the pin.

Rating: D+. This started off slowly but it got better as things went on. Patterson was clearly nearing the end of his run here and would actually be done as an active competitor in less than two months. Orton was getting better at this point and wins like this would help him gain credibility with the crowd.

Orton would be involved in the main event of Wrestlemania as a manager. This led to him getting his own World Title shot at the first SNME.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Hogan coming out to Eye of the Tiger is some combination of odd, awesome and epic. You figure out the proportions. Naturally it starts out with Hogan completely dominating Orton. This was also on the DVD but the color and picture quality were WAY better there. It looks bad here to say the least. This is exactly what you would expect it to be: Hogan works the arm and then a shot from Orton gives him control. Our hero is in trouble. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO???

Well at the moment he’s going to get his head kicked in a little more. And of course there’s the comeback and you know the finish. Actually I typed too soon. Hogan drops an elbow and uses a headbutt of all things. Orton takes over again. This is most odd indeed. Hogan fights out of the superplex and comes off the top rope! He goes for the leg but Piper runs in for the DQ. The heels beat up T and set for the double team but Orndorff runs out for the save and the full face turn.

Rating: C. This was just pure average. It was what you expected but the DQ was kind of odd. It’s not like a pin would have been odd here but whatever. This was fine for what it was. Hogan gets on TV and the biggest star got to showcase himself. Orton was a talented guy and a good option for something like this.

Take two guys, let them have a great match. From July 20, 1985, I believe in Toronto.

Bob Orton vs. Ricky Steamboat

This looks like Toronto. Steamboat goes after the bad arm which is a very slow healing injury. Orton tries to kip up but can’t quite escape the arm hold. Steamboat slams him and we’re right back to the arm. Orton comes back with a beal and flying headscissors but misses a charge which sends him to the floor. Out there he throws a drink in Steamboat’s face but that’s not a DQ.

Orton takes over and hooks a cravate. Off to a chinlock which is quickly broken but Steamboat can’t slam him. Orton hooks the chinlock on again and rubs the cast in his face. I love little things like that. Steamboat comes back with chops and heads to the top. The top rope cross body only gets two, probably putting Orton in a very elite club.

Steamboat gets thrown to the apron but he skins the cat and comes back with a shot to send Orton to the floor. He was always great at that bump. The Cowboy tries to suplex Ricky to the floor but Steamboat counters. They speed it up again and Ricky misses a splash. Orton loads up the cast and comes off the top with a shot to the head and that draws the DQ.

Rating: B. Two guys that are absolutely great getting a good deal of time in front of a hot crowd. What are you expecting but a solid match? Orton was great as a guy that could be thrown in there and be asked to give you a solid match. He’s kind of the Kofi of his day but as a mat guy instead of a high flier. You never get a bad match out of him and he’s always entertaining. Very fun match.

Time for some comedy at SNME #4.

Jesse Ventura/Roddy Piper/Bob Orton vs. Cousin Luke/Uncle Elmer/Hillbilly Jim

Jim is the most talented of the face hillbilly team. What does that tell you? Piper and Orton say funny things about the hillbillies. He was a total master on the mic in this era. The hillbillies say generic hillbilly stuff. The mat is dark gray and the ropes are mixed up, as in they go blue, red then white. It’s weirder than it sounds. Also, the ring looks TINY. Uncle Elmer and Ventura start. Elmer is REALLY fat.

Wow it’s odd hearing Heenan from this era. It really is. He’s a totally different commentator. He’s still his usual jerky self, but his voice sounds different to put it mildly. Luke…sucks. That’s all there is to it. I mean he sucks HARD. Naturally he gets beaten down for the majority of the match. Piper was still moving in the ring at this time and was far better at wrestling than he was given credit for.

Jesse’s wrestling was underrated. He knew how to sell and could work a crowd really well. Luke gets his head handed to him for a good while. We get the classic ref doesn’t see the tag spot which is one of the easiest ways in the world to get heat on someone. Piper beats up Uncle Elmer, who is like 6’7 and close to 500lbs on his own. It’s rather amusing. We get a melee and after a cast shot to Luke, Piper puts him to sleep to end a glorified squash.

Rating: D. Weak stuff here but like I said, I’d expect a lot of that. There was heat from the crowd, but when the third best in ring guy is Hillbilly Jim, it’s a bad sign. What else was there going to be with the Hillbilly stable? They never were anything but comic relief, though I don’t remember most people finding them funny. This just didn’t work and felt weak.

From July 26, 1986. How could this be bad?

Tito Santana vs. Bob Orton

This is around the time when Orton is siding with Adrian Adonis so he’s even more hated since it was arguable that Adonis was the most hated heel in the company (not top heel, most hated. There’s a difference.). Gorilla says Tito has Excellence of Execution. We’re in Boston again here. They exchange basic stuff to start and hit the mat. Clipped to talking about Terry Garvin and that’s not going to go well.

Orton hits a hip toss and a slow flying headscissors. He misses a dive in the corner though and kind of crotches himself. Tito sends him to the floor because he’s not a nice person at times. Back in a jackknife cover gets two for Santana. This is shaping up to be LONG. Tito throwing on an armbar would seem to confirm my theory. Clipped again to later in the armbar so you know this is going to last awhile.

Orton gets up and just pounds him down as the fans boo. Backslide gets one for Tito and it’s back to the arm. As the fans’ eyes begin to close, Orton finally wakes them up a bit with an atomic drop. His shoulder hits the post though and so it’s back to the arm. Bob sends him to the floor to make this slow down even more. Santana gets thrown into a barricade and knocks it over.

Tito gets draped on the rope coming back in and Orton walks around even slower. And now we go to a chinlock. Grrrrrreat. Thankfully Tito atomic drops out of it and they both fall down. And then Bob grabs it right back. Tito punches him down and grabs the leg. He works it over a bit and here’s the Figure Four. After Orton gets the rope, Tito sets for the headknocker but takes a head to the balls (at least it’s a complete set) and Bob takes over again. They slug it out and the bell rings for a time limit draw. Apparently this ran 30 minutes.

Rating: D+. It’s ok but that’s just it: there’s nothing interesting here at all. They do a little bit of something and then they do a little bit of something else. They repeat this for the twenty minutes that we see of it. I don’t want to imagine what would have happened here if this was shown in full. What does this prove to anyone? That’s why you don’t see many of these that often. Also, this is proof that simply going 30 or 60 minutes as so many old guys claim to have done, doesn’t mean it’s any good.

Time for a match that was years in the making. From SNME #8.

Roddy Piper vs. Bob Orton

Adrian Adonis attacked Piper earlier in the day apparently. Muraco is out at ringside too and is wearing a kilt for some reason. That’s inconsequential though as he’s sent to the back. Piper’s punches and fists are insanely fast. He looks kind of fat here for some reason. To end this very short match, Piper rams Orton into Hart for the rollup and the pin. This was all of two minutes long. Way too short to properly rate but it was just a brawl with punching and some other basic strikes so it would have been low anyway.

Orton would hook up with Don Muraco and open Wrestlemania III.

Can-Am Connection vs. Don Muraco/Bob Orton

No story here as they’re just two teams having a match. The Can-Am Connection is Rick Martel (Can) and Tom Zenk (Am) which would kind of evolve into Strike Force. Martel and Muraco start things off with Rick hitting a quick shoulder to take Don down. A hip block and a kind of monkey flip put Muraco down again and it’s a standoff. Zenk comes in for a double monkey flip and it’s off to Orton who gets armdragged down as well.

Bob gets hit from one corner to the other until Zenk takes him down with an armbar. All Connection so far. They trade full nelsons and Muraco hits Orton by mistake for two. Bob gets his arm cranked on a bit until FINALLY making the tag out to Muraco. The bad luck continues for the heels as Don is slammed down and has his arm worked on as well.

Orton and Muraco finally start cheating with a knee to Zenk’s back and a shot from the middle rope. Zenk and Bob ram heads and it’s a double tag as everything breaks down. The heels are sent into each other and a double dropkick takes Orton down. Muraco gets double teamed and a cross body with a trip from Zenk is enough for Martel to get the pin.

Rating: B-. I’ve called this the best opening match in Wrestlemania history and I don’t think it’s that far off from the truth. There are definitely matches of higher quality, but think about what an opening match is supposed to do. It’s designed to set the tone for a show and this one did that. It’s about five and a half minutes long and the good guys beat the bad guys with some nice continuity. It’s nothing flashy but it wasn’t supposed to be. This is a very nice, basic tag match and the crowd was into it, which is all it was supposed to accomplish. Good stuff here.

Here’s a rematch from Superstars on August 17, 1987.

Hulk Hogan vs. Bob Orton

Non-title and Orton has Mr. Fuji in his corner. Orton takes Hulk into the corner to start but Hulk easily punches him out to the floor and over the barricade. Back in and Orton is whipped hart into the corner and Hulk drops a series of elbows. There’s a running clothesline in the corner and it looks like we’ve got a broken top rope. Orton nails a backbreaker and knees Hogan to the floor for a breather.

We take a break and come back with Orton dropping an elbow to the apron and hammering away at Hulk’s head. Off to the chinlock for a bit before another elbow drop gets two for Bob. Back to the chinlock followed by a knee drop for two. Hogan fights up and sends Orton into the buckle over and over but walks into a knee lift. Orton can’t go up though so a regular elbow gets two. Hulk Up, legdrop, we’re done.

Rating: C-. Standard Hogan match from the late 80s here in what was probably a dark match to close out a long TV taping. The match wasn’t anything great but the Hogan formula was used over and over again for a reason: it’s such a basic idea and it still makes for some entertaining matches.

It was back to the NWA for a bit for this match at Clash of the Champions VI.

Bob Orton vs. Dick Murdoch

Orton, managed by Gary Hart is another newcomer even though he’s been wrestling forever. Murdoch has been around even longer and is nicknamed Captain Redneck. They fight into the corner to start before trading fireman’s carry takeovers. Murdoch puts on a wristlock but Orton nips up and counters into one of his own. Dick comes back with another wristlock into a hammerlock before Orton counters into an armbar. Murdoch looks annoyed instead of in any pain at all.

We hit the five minute mark and we look at the legends looking bored in the audience. The hold is FINALLY broken and Orton drops a few knees. They slug it out in the only interesting part of the match so far. Murdoch dropkicks him into the corner and the fans are actually waking up a bit. Some hard elbows to the chest have Bob reeling and Murdoch easily blocks a superplex attempt. Dick loads up the brainbuster but Gary Hart reaches in and trips his leg to give Orton the pin in the same finish as Warrior vs. Rude at roughly the same time.

Rating: D. This was a horribly uninteresting match save for that little rush near the end. I get the idea of the match being old school, but it doesn’t make the match any more interesting here. There was no explained story here other than “they’re both veterans and a lot alike”, which isn’t enough to get me through six minutes of wristlocks.

Orton’s full time career was starting to wind down around this time but he would get on with the new UWF promotion. This is from some point in 1990/1991.

Sonny Beach vs. Bob Orton

Orton is with John Tolos and is a 247lb wrestler apparently. Hopefully this goes quickly. This was in the middle of an hour long show as this is listed as the next match. Beach is a surfer in case you didn’t get the idea. This channel has a really bad habit of cutting to a commercial out of nowhere where it seems like there shouldn’t be a commercial there. Yep I’m bored already, just like the fans here.

How much were these guys paid to show up I wonder. This just is boring to say the least. It’s just suck a basic match and the guys are so uninspired that it’s pathetic. WHO IN THE WORLD THOUGHT THIS NEEDED TWO COMMERCIALS??? Oh great now we’re on the floor to make this thing go even LONGER. And after FIFTEEN MINUTES of TV time, Steve Ray comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Foley is involved so it isn’t a failure. SWEET GOODNESS this was boring though. This Beach guy has been on every show and he’s just not any good at a ll. Orton was past his prime by about 5 years here and the whole thing was awful. Terribly boring match and I have no idea what they saw in Beach.

Orton would basically retire at this point, but would be brought out of retirement for Heroes of Wrestling.

Bob Orton vs. Jimmy Snuka

They say Orton is from Kansas City, Kansas even though it’s been Missouri his whole career. They say they’ve been excited for this match since the video of the poker game, meaning all of 3 minutes. Albano is stepping down as Commissioner after tonight. Good to know I guess. They do a long mat sequence which is the highlight of the match but gets an Orton is gay chant. Yeah because good wrestling is such a terrible thing to have on the card. Ok to be fair he does work the arm way too long, as in he does it nearly 5 minutes.

Nothing at all of note happens in this match, but it’s by far the least sloppy of them all. Snuka wins with a crossbody from the top. Why? You have one of the most famous finishers of all time and you use a freaking high cross body that they act like is the same thing as the splash. I don’t know what to even say to this.

Rating: F+. Somehow this was 11 minutes long. I think nearly half of that was arm work by Orton. Did any of that actually mean anything? Not at all of course as that would have been psychology and a good thing and we can’t have our HEROES do that. I still can’t get over the lack of the splash though. Who thought that was a good idea?

Orton would come out of retirement again to help his son in a war with Undertaker. From No Mercy 2005.

Undertaker vs. Bob Orton/Randy Orton

Both Ortons have to go in for Undertaker to win. Taker gets the full druid entrance as they bring out the casket. He then gets his own entrance to really fill in time. Taker controls with punches to start, knocking both Ortons around. Then the numbers take over so the Ortons control with punches. Now Taker comes back and knocks them both down. He manages to throw Bob in the casket but Randy throws Taker knees first into the steps.

Undertaker is put in the casket but gets out with, you guessed it, punches. Back in the ring and Bob is down in the corner. Old School is loaded up for Randy but Bob manages to crotch him. Both Ortons go up on the ropes and they manage a double superplex. Bob covers probably out of instinct. They keep trying to double suplex Taker into the casket but Taker counters into a double DDT.

Bob is thrown into the casket and Randy takes the snake eyes/big boot combo. Bob is out of the casket now and appears to have something in his hands. Oh it’s a fire extinguisher. Randy hits the backbreaker in the ring and we go outside. Randy jumps off the apron but gets rammed back first into the post. A big chair shot to the back puts Randy in and Bob gets caught in a triangle choke. Taker finally gets Bob in but Randy gets up and knocks Taker away.

All three are in the casket now as the younger guys stand up and brawl. Taker knocks Randy out and slams the lid on Bob. The announcers talk like that eliminates him but there’s been nothing that implies he would be until now. Randy low blows Undertaker and hits the powerslam. Randy opens the casket but takes a low blow as well. Taker pounds on him some more but Randy hits the dropkick and they go into the corner.

Randy, ever the idiot, puts himself in perfect position for the Last Ride. Tazz: “WHY DID HE DO THAT???” Last Ride kills Randy but Bob pops out of the casket with the fire extinguisher. A blast into the eyes by Bob allows Randy to hit the RKO. Bob tries to roll Taker into the casket but Taker grabs him by the throat. Randy pops up with the fire extinguisher to the head and Taker is knocked into the casket. He pulls Randy in with him and the lid closes, but for some reason that doesn’t end it. Not that it matters as Taker and Randy pop up seconds later and Randy hits him with a chair to win.

Rating: C-. It’s not a horrible match I don’t guess but it never got interesting at all. That’s what this PPV has been in a nutshell: not bad but nothing to get excited about at all. Cole declaring this the final nail in Undertaker’s coffin was laughable because that guy has died more times than I can count but he keeps coming back. Anyway, not bad but it lead to HIAC at I think Armageddon.

Bob Orton is the definition of a great technical hand that reached the peak of his career. There was no way he was going to become World Champion but he was awesome as a guy that a top star had to get through to get to the big villain. That broken arm gimmick could work like a charm if used today, but Orton made it as good as it could get. Unfortunately his son completely overshadows him because people have forgotten how good Bob was.

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Today is a guy who could have ruled: Ryback.

Sheffield started in 2004 and we’ll pick things up with him as OVW Champion on October 25, 2008.

OVW Title: Anthony Bravado vs. Ryback

No DQ. Ryback is defending after taking the title from Bravado last week and is basically the Terminator. Bravado is used to being the strongest guy around but can’t shove Ryback. His shoulder block has no effect so they fight over another lockup with Ryback taking over. A test of strength goes nowhere so both guys head outside to slug it out for a double countout.

Rating: D. This was a really quick feud as Ryback was taken down to FCW soon after this. They would have another match the next week where Bravado would take the title in a last man standing match. There isn’t much to talk about here as this was more angle advancement than anything else.

Off to FCW with this match on February 15, 2009.

Mia Mancini/Dylan Klein vs. Skip Sheffield/AJ Lee

Mancini is better known as Serena Deeb and Klein never went anywhere. The girls get things going and fight on the mat with Mancini taking over. Off to the guys with Sheffield cleaning house. Mancini slaps him in the face to break up the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder and Klein gets in a few shots to take over. We hit the chinlock on Sheffield before the guys fight to the floor. Mancini tags herself in but gets caught in a headscissors followed by a Shining Wizard for two. A standing Sliced Bread #2 is good for the pin on Mancini.

Rating: D+. This was just a quick TV match but that’s almost all you can expect from something down in developmental. It wasn’t bad or anything but with just four minutes and a bunch of rookies, there’s only so much you can do. The girls were way ahead of the guys here, though Sheffield’s cowboy character never worked for him.

Sheffield would be one of the first rookies on NXT. Here’s his first match from NXT on March 2, 2010.

William Regal/Skip Sheffield vs. Matt Hardy/Justin Gabriel

The rookies start us off. Power vs. speed never stops working for me and this works just fine. Fujiwara armbar by Gabriel and here’s Hardy. Poetry in Motion to Sheffield as we take a break. Regal is in when we get back against Gabriel. Regal sends both Gabriel and Hardy to the floor as not a lot is going on in this match.

Sheffield is giving Regal advice which is rather amusing. Back to the power guy who struts before hitting a splash on Hardy. The fat of his stomach helps protect him I guess. Hardy gets beaten down for a good while. I’m sure he’ll blog about it later on and make a video under a false name.

Regal keeps the tag to Gabriel and yells at Sheffield to stop doing stupid stuff. Twist of Fate out of nowhere sets up the debut of the 450 which blew the LD to pieces when it hit. The match was boring but the ending more than made up for it I think.

Rating: C. The length hurt it here but the idea was to show that Gabriel could hit one big move and it worked very well. That’s still one of the best moves in the company nearly a year later and it worked very well here. Not a great match and the tag from last week was better, but this was a good debut for both of the rookies here.

And another on April 27, 2010.

Skip Sheffield vs. Daniel Bryan

Bryan gets a running dropkick as Sheffield is reeling early on. A heel hook has Skip in real trouble. And never mind as Sheffield just beats the tar out of him and hits the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder to end it in maybe 90 seconds.

Sheffield would snap his ankle and be out for nearly a year. He would return as the unstoppable monster Ryback, who participated in a bunch of squashes, such as this one at Extreme Rules 2012.

Aaron Relic/Jay Hatton vs. Ryback

The Jobbers combine to weigh 340lbs. Santino and Khali are watching in the back. I like this “let’s watch Ryback” idea. They give a pro-Math promo to start the match. They keep saying 2 is greater than 1 and even Cole is ripping on them. The fans chant Goldberg and I can’t really argue. Let’s say Hatton starts with a pair of kicks that do NOTHING. A forearm does nothing. There’s a big boot to put him down and Ryback throws him into a powerslam. He drags Hatton to his corner and pulls the other jobber in. There’s the huge clothesline and the Over the Shoulder Boulder Holder kills jobber #2. MuscleBuster for the pin at 1:50.

His competition would pick up a bit on Raw, August 27, 2012.

Jack Swagger vs. Ryback

Ryback takes him down almost immediately and slams Swagger’s head into the mat over and over. A charge misses though and Swagger shoulder blocks Ryback down. Vader Bomb hits feet but Swagger counters into an ankle lock attempt. Ryback escapes and pounds him in the corner. A BADLY botched backdrop results in Swagger being dropped on his head ala Sabu vs. Benoit in ECW. The clothesline sets up Shell Shock for the pin at 2:12.

Around this time Ryback would stand up to CM Punk, throwing himself into the main event scene. Here’s one of his bigger matches after that on Raw, October 22, 2012.

Ryback vs. The Miz

Miz looks worried about getting in the ring. Ryback finally pulls Miz into the ring and the beating begins. A big boot puts Miz down but he avoids the clothesline. Ryback hits the Vader body attack, a spinebuster, the clothesline and the Shell Shock ends this at 2:30.

Here’s Ryback’s chance at the title at Hell in a Cell 2012.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. CM Punk

I honestly don’t know who is going to win here and I love that feeling. The Goldberg chants start before the music hits. Ryback has a red singlet tonight. Not much of a pop for him though. The big match intros inform us that this match will indeed be taking place inside the Cell. You know, in case you’re REALLY FREAKING STUPID. The fans get fired up for the Feed Me More chant at least.

Punk immediately heads to the floor and we’re in the big Cell where there’s almost no room at ringside. Punk gets back in and immediately runs to the floor again. After almost a minute and a half Ryback gets his hands on Punk and chokes him in the air. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Punk is in trouble early. Punk gets a boot up in the corner but a tornado DDT is easily countered.

Punk is sent back to the floor where he tries to get out of the door. Ryback throws him into the Cell wall and then does it again. The Goldberg chants start up and Punk hides under the ring. Heyman distracts Ryback, allowing Punk to spray him with a fire extinguisher and knock Ryback into the cage. The champ finds a chair but Ryback knocks it into Punk’s head. Back in and Ryback hits a Warrior gorilla press drop.

Ryback misses a charge into the corner and Punk hits a springboard clothesline to take him down. A top rope double ax only kind of hits so Punk hits a second to stagger Ryback. A third attempt is caught in midair but Punk hits a leg lariat to take Ryback down again. Punk sends him to the floor and hits the suicide dive but Ryback is slammed into the cage instead of being knocked down. Ryback easily breaks up a neckbreaker on the floor but his spear hits the steps.

Back in and Punk puts on a chinlock. We’re over eight minutes into this and it’s been pretty good stuff so far. Another Ryback charge hits the post and Punk smiles. Heyman: “HE’S STILL ALIVE!” Punk hits the running knee in the corner and a clothesline to set up the Macho Elbow for no cover. Punk brings in a kendo stick and mocks the FEED ME MORE chant.

Ryback Hulks Up and takes the stick out of Punk’s hands. Ryback is all fired up now and Heyman is panicking. The fans are getting into the chant now and there’s the Meathook (clothesline). Ryback loads up Shell Shock….and the referee hits Ryback low and fast counts a Punk rollup for the pin to retain at 11:45.

Rating: B-. This is one of those what the heck was that endings but it was a good match until we got there. I don’t like the screwjob ending and I wanted Ryback to win, but this sets up another match down the line I guess. I don’t recognize the referee but I’m sure we’ll find out who he was later on. The fans went silent after the pin which is a good thing….I think?

His rematch was in a triple threat match at Survivor Series 2012.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback vs. CM Punk

Punk bails to the floor to start and gets chased by both guys. Ryback finally catches him in the corner but Cena is all like “dude, my arch nemesis” and pulls Ryback away, allowing Punk to get in shots on both guys. Ryback kicks him in the chest and Cena adds a bulldog before Ryback clotheslines Punk to the floor. It’s the battle of the heroes with Cena pounding away but Ryback escapes the AA and knocks Cena to the outside.

Punk is back in now and scores with a snap suplex on Ryback, but the monster pops right back up and gorilla presses the champion into a fallaway slam. Cena comes back in with a belly to belly for two on Ryback before putting on a chinlock. Punk breaks it up with a top rope ax handle and Cena falls to the floor. Another ax handle attempt is caught in midair but Punk takes Ryback down with a neckbreaker. Cena sneaks in with a rollup for two but Punk DDTs him down for two more.

With Cena down, Punk channels his inner Austin Aries and puts on the Last Chancery but Ryback lifts Punk into the air for a powerslam. Cena grabs the ProtoBomb on Ryback but Ryback pops up, leading to a slugout. The shoulder blocks look to take Ryback down but Punk pulls John to the floor and sends him into the steps. Punk’s springboard clothesline gets two on Ryback and we hit the chinlock. Ryback fights up and slams Punk down followed by the Meathook. Cena breaks up the Shell Shock and puts Ryback in the STF but it’s Punk with the Macho Elbow for the save.

Everyone is down now and Punk might have hurt himself on that elbow. He’s up first though but can’t hit the GTS on Cena. Punk and Cena slug it out but Ryback clotheslines both guys down to take over again. Ryback sends both guys to the floor for some reason but they double team Ryback down as a result. A double suplex puts Ryback through the table and they head inside for the real showdown.

Punk grabs a GTS out of nowhere for two and Heyman is livid. The AA gets the same result other than Heyman being relieved. Punk comes back with the running knee but the bulldog is countered into the STF. Ryback makes the save and throws Cena into the barricade to put him down. The Meathook and Shell Shock lay out Punk but Cena makes a diving save. The Shell Shock lays out Cena as well……but here are three guys in black to destroy Ryback. They pound away on Ryback and take him to the floor for a TripleBomb through the table. Punk crawls over and pins Cena to retain.

Rating: C+. It’s probably the best match of the night but that’s not saying much at this point. Obviously the three guys were Reign/Ambrose/Rollins which Cole tells us during Punk’s celebration. Punk winning was a good idea and set up more stuff down the line which is the best possible outcome. You could feel the wind blowing as Ryback fell down the card though and he hasn’t recovered yet. Fairly good match but nowhere near enough to save the show though.

Ryback was scheduled to face Punk for the title in a TLC match at TLC but Punk was legitimately injured. This was his other option.

Ryback/HELL NO vs. The Shield

It’s a TLC match but you can win by pin/submission because there’s nothing to hang above the ring. Shield comes through the crowd of course. The brawl starts on the floor of course with Bryan vs. Rollins, Kane vs. Reigns and Ambrose vs. Ryback. Ryback and Ambrose get in the ring and the smart aleck fans just have to chant Goldberg. Shield gets Ryback 3-1 but he shrugs them off. Kane tries to bring in a ladder but Rollins dropkicks it into the monster’s ribs.

Bryan takes a ladder to the face as well but here’s Ryback to beat them all up. Reigns takes Kane down with a chair but Kane makes the save. I think Ryback is busted a bit. Bryan kicks Reigns in the corner and the fans are WAY into Danny boy. Reigns is thrown into a ladder which gets two for Kane. Bryan saves Ryback and the fans want tables. Rollins jumps into a Kane uppercut for two before getting put inside a ladder. Kane beats on the ladder with a chair for a bit but Ambrose takes Kane out with a DDT onto the chair.

Ryback rams Rollins and Ambrose into the corner and there’s another Goldberg chant. The fans still want tables. Ryback blocks a beal into the ladder in the corner and pounds Ambrose and Rollins down again. A splash crushes both of them against the ladder, followed by a suplex from Ryback to put both of them on the ladder. Reigns breaks up the double Shell Shock and it’s another three on one beating. Where did HELL NO go?

Shield loads up the triple powerbomb….and it actually works. Seriously, no save from the champions until a few seconds later. Bryan goes off on everyone but gets caught in the numbers game. Kane finally comes back but gets beaten down as well. Back into the ring and it’s time for the chairs portion of the match. Bryan gets beaten down before being double superplexed off a table on the top. Kane barely makes a save but he gets beaten down by the chair as well.

Ambrose and Rollins try the double superplex on Kane as well but he shoves Rollins to the floor and clotheslines Ambrose down. The side slam puts Reigns down but Dean makes the save. Instead of I think a DDT on Kane though, it’s a chokeslam for Dean through the chair for two. Back to the floor and Reigns spears Kane through the barricade to a BIG reaction. Kane gets buried under a bunch of stuff, but in the chaos, Bryan grabs the NO Lock on Ambrose. He eventually gets it on all three guys but the numbers catch up to him.

Bryan fights back AGAIN with a bunch of kicks but eventually he falls prey to the Blackout (running curb stomp) onto the EDGE OF THE CHAIR from Rollins. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Ryback is up though and house is cleaned. Rollins is thrown onto Ambrose and it’s chair time for Reigns. Ambrose comes back AGAIN but gets speared down. There’s a Meat Hook for Dean followed by Shell Shock for two as Rollins saves. Ryback goes to the floor but gets caught by some chair shots. Ryback charges at Reigns to tackle into whatever is in his path in a cool visual.

The Shield and Ryback are all up by the entrance and Ambrose chairs him in the back to take him down again. They shove a ladder onto Ryback and destroy him with some chair shots and put him on a table. There’s a HUGE, as in bigger than the usual HUGE ladders, and Rollins climbs up. Ryback fights up though and Rollins is in trouble. Ryback throws Seth through a big stack of tables, but Ambrose and Reigns are double teaming Bryan in the ring. Reigns superbombs Bryan through the table for the pin at 22:55.

Rating: A. AWESOME brawl here with a great story being told throughout. Ryback gets two do the big spot to look strong and the Shield’s pack mentality worked very well too. Great match here and definitely better than I was expecting. Shield looked like they could more than hang in there, and that was the main thing they had to worry about. Great stuff.

Ryback would finally get this TLC match on Raw, January 7, 2013.

Raw World Title: CM Punk vs. Ryback

TLC match which was supposed to happen last month but had to be changed due to Punk’s knee injury. The fans don’t seem impressed by Ryback at all here. Ryback shoves Punk around to start until we head to the floor where Punk kicks him in the head. Punk slides in a ladder but Ryback hammers on him before anything can be done. Back in and Ryback hits a delayed spinning suplex onto the ladder, sending the champion to the floor.

Punk almost gets crushed by the steps before using them as a launching pad to knee Ryback in the face. Punk chairs Ryback down a few times and we take a break. Back with both guys down in the ring and Ryback getting up first. Ryback loads up a table on the floor but Punk blasts him in the ribs with a chair and sets up a table of his own. Ryback shoves Punk onto the announce table but another chair shot slows him down.

Back in and Punk works over Ryback’s leg with a chair but can’t Pillmanize it. The jump off the ropes might have hurt the champion’s knee again. Ryback pounds away and hits the Meat Hook but Punk escapes the Shell Shock. They head to the floor and Ryback launches himself through a table by mistake. Punk climbs up the ladder but Ryback goes up to stop him, knocking the champ to the mat.

CM shoves the ladder over but Ryback lands on his feet. He picks Punk up and drops him onto the ladder, bending it to the point where it can’t be used anymore. Punk kicks Ryback in the head again to slow him down but can’t use the ladder to climb anymore. A knee in the corner slows Ryback down but when Punk tries the bulldog, Ryback LAUNCHES him to the floor through the table Punk set up.

Ryback finds another ladder and goes up but there go the lights. The lights come back up and the Shield is on the ladder. Ryback punches two of them down but has to get down to stop the third one. The numbers catch up with Ryback and he gets destroyed by chair shots and the Triple Bomb through a table onto the steps. The Shield leaves and Punk slowly climbs up to retain the title at 18:50.

Rating: B-. This was exactly what people expected, right down to the interference. Ryback continues to look like someone that can’t win the big one, which is why that pop he got at the beginning of the match might as well have been a group of mice cheering. We get it: Shield goes after Ryback. They’ve done that for months now and Ryback has lost to them every time. There were some good bumps in this but it was exactly the match you expected to happen.

After not winning the title, Ryback would turn heel after Wrestlemania XXIX and get another title shot at Extreme Rules 2013.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Ryback

Last man standing, which means you have to keep your opponent down for a ten count to win. Also Cena is defending if that wasn’t clear. Ryback shoves Cena down to start and the fans chant Goldberg at the challenger. Cena’s ankle is strong enough to survive a leapfrog and there’s a bulldog to take Ryback down. After Ryback hits some shoulders in the corner, he catches Cena diving off the middle rope in a powerslam for a six count. A gorilla press puts Cena down for eight.

Cena pulls himself to his feet and then pulls the top rope down, sending Ryback out to the floor. With Ryback up at six, John slides a table into the ring. Ryback escapes the AA though and hits his over the shoulder Stunner for an eight count. The table is set up in the corner now but Cena takes Ryback down with some shoulder blocks. Ryback catches him in mid-air though and hits a fallaway slam through the table. Cena makes it up at nine and avoids a charging Ryback, sending him shoulder first into the post.

The ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle but Ryback again counters the AA. A weak spear puts Cena down but Cena pops back up and hits a powerbomb of all things for an eight. Back up and Cena puts him in a kind of choke hold, only to be countered into a spinebuster. That and the Meathook are enough for a seven but Cena grabs the STF out of nowhere. Ryback is out but Cena is pulling in another table just in case. He’s up at eight and Ryback is all fired up.

Ryback loads up the Shell Shock but Cena escapes and hits the AA through the table to put both guys down. Both guys get up at nine and Cena goes up, only to get caught in a Shell Shock. Cena gets up at nine and they head to the floor where Cena plows Ryback through the barricade but only for a nine. They head into the crowd where Ryback rips up what looks like a hockey board and knocks Cena senseless with it. It’s still not enough though and Cena puts on a sleeper.

After choking Ryback for a good while the monster stays down for nine. Cena puts Ryback on a conveniently placed table and dives off a balcony with a splash through said table. Ryback is again up at nine so Cena sprays him with a fire extinguisher. They head up to the stage with Cena hosing Ryback down again and again before hitting Ryback in the face with the fire extinguisher.

Ryback again gets up at eight but the AA is countered, allowing Ryback to drive Cena through a the set (as in through the electrical light grid and off camera). Both guys are out behind the set with a bunch of glass under them. The referee asks for medics and Cena is out cold as Ryback is helped to his feet. Shouldn’t that count as Cena not being up and Ryback winning? The match is thrown out at about 24:00.

Rating: B. That’s a pretty cheap (yet good looking) ending as Cena couldn’t keep Ryback down and now we’re going to get a rematch at Payback. It was certainly entertaining though, which is mostly because of how much more time it got than any other match. That’s the problem with a lot of the matches tonight: they’ve been WAY too short.

Here’s the rematch at Payback 2013.

Raw World Title: Ryback vs. John Cena

The first fall is a lumberjack match with pretty much any wrestler you would name at ringside. Ryback powers Cena into the corner to start and counters the bulldog into a belly to back slam for two. Cena comes back with a fisherman’s suplex and some elbow drops as Cole talks about the “historic” extreme lumberjack match in 2006. Who even remembered that thing back in like 2007? It was against Sabu at Vengeance 2006 if I remember correctly but dear goodness who thought of that match and thought Cole should bring it up?

The AA is countered into the over the shoulder Stunner for two for Ryback. Cena is thrown to the outside and pummeled by the lumberjacks (JTG still has a job. Who knew?) before Ryback gets to destroy him a bit more. The lumberjacks get another crack at Cena but he gets back in fast enough to send Ryback to the lumberjacks as well. Ryback gets back in unscathed so Cena can initiate his finishing sequence, only to be sent into the other lumberjacks this time. Back in and Ryback is sent to the floor again but not touched this time either.

We get the required lumberjack brawl but Cena DIVES onto all of them at the same time in a huge crash. Back in and Cena hooks the STF but Ryback powers out and gets the Shell Shock for the first fall at 7:32. We’re at the tables match now with the lumberjacks all gone. Ryback immediately tackles Cena down and has early control of the second fall. Here’s the first table of the night but Cena escapes the powerslam. A spinebuster puts Cena down and the fans chant Goldberg.

Cena escapes a gorilla press into the AA but Ryback reaches down and flips the table over while still on Cena’s shoulders. We head to the floor and Cena is whipped into the steps to give Ryback control again. Ryback sets up the table in the corner before knocking Cena down with the steps in the ring. Cena staggers up next to the table but the steps go through the table instead of the champion.

Cena puts Ryback down with a belly to belly suplex and some steps to the head to put Ryback down. Here’s another table in the ring but Cena is placed onto it instead, only to get back off of it when Ryback drops the steps through the table. Ryback launches the steps at Cena but they go out to the floor, allowing Cena to hit the shoulder blocks and the Shuffle. Ryback comes back with a spinebuster and the Meat Hook before getting another table. The Shell Shock is loaded up but Cena counters into a quick AA to tie it up at 16:10.

The third fall is an ambulance match, meaning the first person to be placed inside an ambulance to the doors shut loses. Ryback takes Cena down 25 seconds after the AA and loads up the announce table. More Goldberg chants abound as Cena is powerbombed through a table. The third fall officially begins with Ryback dragging Cena to the ambulance, only to be shoved into it by the champion.

Cena pulls a crutch from the ambulance but Ryback knocks it out of his hands. A punch misses Cena and goes through the glass but Ryback doesn’t seem to mind. Cena rams him back first into the ambulance doors but can’t follow up. They open the driver’s door so Cena can whip Ryack into it so hard that the door breaks off. An ambulance door to the face staggers Ryback but he throws Cena into the front of the ambulance.

The bumper is ripped off the front of the ambulance and Ryback wraps it around Cena’s back. Cena blocks a powerbomb into a backdrop onto the hood and starts climbing up to the top. An emergency light to Ryback’s shoulder knocks him back to the floor but Ryback is right back up. Cena stares down at him and they brawl on top of the ambulance until Cena hits an AA through the roof to retain at 24:38.

Rating: B-. This was good but by the end it was a spot fest. It was certainly entertaining but I don’t think anyone bought Ryback as a real threat to the belt. The fact that he hasn’t won a major PPV match since at least August might have something to do with it but I’m not quite sure. It’s good stuff but nothing I’ll remember three days from now.

Here’s a one off match between two guys not in the show’s namesake match. From Money in the Bank 2013.

Chris Jericho vs. Ryback

The fans go back and forth from Jericho to Goldberg chants. Ryback bails to the floor because he’s a coward now and Jericho takes him down with a baseball slide. Back in and Jericho hits a forearm to the back of the head but Ryback drills him with a shoulder. Jericho goes after the formerly bad leg but gets his neck snapped across the top rope for two. We hit the chinlock before Ryback gets two off a middle rope splash. Jericho is punched off the apron and lands between the two announce tables.

Back to the chinlock but Jericho escapes into a northern lights suplex and a failed Walls attempt. A top rope ax handle is caught in a Ryback belly to belly overhead suplex. The Meathook puts Jericho down and the Codebreaker is countered into a kind of spinebuster. A powerbomb gets two on Jericho but he comes back with an enziguri for two.

Ryback rolls to the apron and gets caught in a Codebreaker but he’s back in at nine. A high cross gets two for the Canadian but he walks into a gorilla press. Ryback drops him down into a fireman’s carry but Jericho counters into a DDT for two. Jericho misses the Lionsault and Ryback grabs a quick rollup for the pin at 10:20.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t terrible but man alive it’s pathetic what they’ve done to Ryback. They took everything good and interesting about him and turned it completely around to make sure the fans didn’t care about him at all. This was also the first match he’s won on PPV since last year’s MITB, yet WWE still wonders why no one cares about him.

Ryback would help his mentor Paul Heyman in his war with CM Punk. From Hell in a Cell 2013.

CM Punk vs. Ryback/Paul Heyman

And there’s no Heyman. Ryback gets in the Cell before pointing towards the entrance where Heyman rides out on a cart. It’s actually a lift which takes Paul up to the top of the Cell with Heyman talking about how he’s risen from the depths and ascended to the top of the world. The fans are all over Paul as Punk pounds away on Ryback and knocks him out to the floor. Now the fans chant for CM after he hits a suicide dive to send Ryback into the Cell wall. It’s kendo stick time but Ryback drives Punk’s spine into the steel to stop him.

Ryback blasts Punk with the stick and takes him back inside to beat Punk down even more. Punk’s back is targeted with a reverse waistlock before Punk fights free and low bridges Ryback out to the floor. A forearm off the top puts Ryback down again and it’s table time. Punk can’t get it set up though and Ryback suplexes him back first into the Cell wall. Back in and a belly to back suplex gets two more as we hit the reverse waistlock again. Punk fights out again and hits a spinning cross body for two followed by the running knee in the corner.

Some kendo stick shots drop the big man and there’s the Macho Elbow for two. More stick shots keep Ryback down and now the table is set up in the ring. It falls onto its side though, allowing Ryback to crotch Punk on the side. The Meat Hook is good for two but Punk hits him low to block the Shell Shock. Ryback lays on the table for no apparent reason, allowing Punk to drop another Macho Elbow for no cover. Instead a cane to Ryback’s head sets up the GTS for the pin at 13:55.

Rating: C-. If this had been a regular match it would have been fine, but it was inside the Cell which means it has a higher standard. Putting Heyman out of the match was probably the best idea, but there really wasn’t much to this that made me care. Punk beating Ryback in a hardcore match is nothing special, but it certainly wasn’t a terrible match. The Cell was a prop here though, which is what I hate about this show.

Here are the former Heyman guys getting a Tag Team Title shot at TLC 2013.

Tag Titles: Real Americans vs. Big Show/Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Rhodes and Goldust are defending and this is elimination rules. Ryback and Axel have both beaten the champions in the last few weeks while Big Show and Mysterio have teamed together I believe once. Ryback shoves Rhodes around to start but gets caught in a half crab, allowing Goldust to come in with an elbow to the back of Ryback’s head. Off to Axel for a nice dropkick, only to get caught in a wristlock.

Axel fights up but Goldust makes a tag off to Big Show who keeps up the arm work. There’s the skin ripping chop and the fans want it one more time. Show does it a third time and Axel sells it like he got shot. Mysterio comes in for some forearms but Axel sends him into the corner. Ryback gets the tag and pounds Mysterio down, only to bring Axel back in for something resembling stereo cross bodies to put both guys down.

Double tags bring in Ryback and Goldust with the champion scoring off the uppercut and a spinebuster. Ryback loads up a powerbomb but gets rolled up for the pin by Goldust, getting us down to three teams at 6:12. Cesaro comes in to pummel Goldust in the corner before it’s off to Swagger for a front facelock. The fans start chanting WE THE PEOPLE as Goldust is sent to the floor for a clothesline from Swagger.

Back inside and Cesaro gets two off the gutwrench suplex and we hit the chinlock. Off to Jack again for a bearhug as Big Show plays cheerleader for Goldust. Goldie fights back with right hands and a springboard elbow to the jaw. Cesaro easily takes him down and we get a short version Cesaro Swing. A Swagger belly to belly suplex puts Goldust down again and we get the Vader Bomb/double stomp sequence from the Real Americans for another two.

Antonio puts on another chinlock but this time Goldust escapes with a jawbreaker. Cesaro can’t break up the tag but Swagger runs around the ring and pulls Cody off the apron. Cody is holding his knee as Big Show throws Swagger into the barricade and Goldust catches Cesaro with a hurricanrana. A powerslam puts Cesaro down again and the hot tag brings in Big Show. Cesaro is thrown all over the ring and a shoulder block turns him inside out. Both Americans get punched in the jaw and Big Show pins Cesaro for the elimination at 14:42.

So we’re down to the two good guy teams but Big Show waits for the champions to get on their feet. A hard shoulder block puts Goldust on the floor and Cody gives him a somewhat angry pep talk. Goldust comes back in for a top rope cross body with Big Show waiting on the impact for about eight seconds. The chokeslam is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to Cody for a double suplex on Big Show for two. The fans are rapidly losing interest.

Big Show swats a Disaster Kick out of the air and it’s off to Mysterio (remember him?) for a springboard seated senton to Cody. Now the Disaster Kick connects for two on Mysterio and Cody is getting frustrated. Cross Rhodes is countered into the 619 to both champions. Goldust is sent into the barricade by Big Show but Cody sends the giant into the post.

Cody tries a springboard dropkick but gets caught in a powerbomb by Rey (how often do you hear that?) for two. Cross Rhodes are countered again but the 619 is countered into an Alabama Slam which is countered into a sunset flip for a VERY close two. The third attempt at Cross Rhodes FINALLY connects for the pin to retain the titles at 21:06.

Rating: A-. This dragged a bit in the middle but man alive that ending was great. Cody and Goldust are just awesome right now and I’m so glad they didn’t give the titles to another thrown together team. I have no idea why the Usos weren’t in there somehow other than putting in two bigger names. Really good match here though.

Ryback and Axel would get another title shot on Raw, April 28, 2014.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.

Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.

We’ll wrap it up with one more win for the team on Raw, July 21, 2014.

Ryback/Curtis Axel vs. Kofi Kingston/Big E.

Ryback and Big E. get things going with Ryback hammering away against the ropes. Big E. runs him over but walks into a spinebuster and gets double teamed in the corner. A side slam gets two for Ryback and he throws Big E. down with a belly to belly. The Meat Hook is countered by a clothesline from Big E. and he makes the hot tag to Kofi. Kingston speeds things up and gets two off the SOS as everything breaks down. Ryback rolls through a high cross body and pins Kofi at 3:25.

Rating: C-. This was mostly Big E. vs. Ryback foa few minutes before the ending came out of nowhere. Big E.’s collapse continues and it’s really kind of sad to see. Kingston only got to jump a few times and it wasn’t much to see. At least they’re building up another team to fight the Usos.

Ryback is a guy that has talent but the run against Punk was doomed from the start as everyone knew that Rock was the one taking the title from him at Royal Rumble and everything else was just filler. He has the look and potential with a Goldberg style push, but once he had that first loss and was treated as just another guy, the magic was gone. That being said, he’s only 32 so it’s not like he’s out of chances to make it work.

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