Wrestler of the Day – January 23: Nigel McGuinness

We’ll head over to England today for a guy I wish got a longer mainstream exposure than he received: Nigel McGuinness.

We’ll start in Nigel’s first stop in America: the Heartland Wrestling Associaiton out of Cincinnati, which used to be a WWF developmental territory. You might recognize Nigel’s opponent, but the opponent’s second is even more famous at the moment: HWA Champion Jon Moxley, currently known as Dean Ambrose. I’m not sure when the match took place, but it’s either between May 9, 2006 – September 12, 2006, December 30, 2006 – January 2, 2007, or January 6, 2010 – July 14, 2010. My goodness I need to do better research on this stuff.

Nigel McGuinness vs. Sami Callihan

Callihan is rather rotund here and goes after a fan at ringside with a sign he doesn’t like. He also has Pepper Parks in his corner who joins commentary with Moxley. I’m thinking this is in Moxley’s first reign, putting this in 2006. Nigel is definitely a face here. Moxley starts doing an imitation of an old school commentator in a funny bit while giving Callihan a 99.9% chance of winning. He even describes Sami as Vader at 14 years old. They fight over a wristlock to start with Nigel taking over with an armbar.

Back up and Callihan grabs a headlock but Nigel flips forward over his back into a headlock of his own. Moxley’s advice on how to get out of the hold: “PUNCH HIM IN THE FACE!” Nigel no sells a lot of Sami’s fat man offense and knocks him to the floor in a big crash. Back in and they trade some slaps before Callihan hits a running boot to the face to take over. We hit the chinlock as Moxley espouses the merits of the Crew faction.

Callihan sits on Nigel’s chest for two (Moxley: “Straight off the Best of Earthquake!”) but McGuinness comes back with a knee for two as frustration is beginning to set in. A slight miscue sets up a HARD clothesline for two on Sami as the Crew is getting nervous on commentary. They’re nervous enough that they get up for a distraction, allowing Sami to slam Nigel off the top and drop a big elbow for two.

Now it’s Sami going up but he gets caught in the Tower of London (hanging Diamond Cutter) for two as Moxley makes the save. Another distraction lets Parks take Nigel down but Sami only gets two. The referee gets bumped and Moxley comes in with a Boss Man Slam to Nigel, giving Sami a VERY close two. Parks throws in a chain and that’s finally enough to pin McGuinness.

Rating: C+. I liked this far better than I was expecting though that’s mainly due to Moxley. It’s clear that he’s going to be a big star in the future and the commentary was absolutely hilarious. Callihan was more of a comedy act here and given his size there’s nothing surprising about that. Parks was just kind of there but a three man team is better than two.

Nigel would move on to ROH around 2003 and since video of that era is hard to find, this is as good as I can find from around that time. From Joe vs. Punk II.

Chad Collyer/Nigel McGuinnes vs. BJ Whitmer/Dan Maff

Collyer/Nigel have Ricky Steamboat with them while Whitmer/Maff have Mick Foley. It’s the whole wrestling vs. hardcore jazz. Steamboat and Foley started to hook up in WCW but I guess they figured that one of the best heels vs. one of the best faces would make too much sense and therefore money so they bailed on it immediately. Steamboat asks the four wrestlers to get on the floor because he wants to talk to Foley.

 

The audio here is AWFUL and I had no idea what Steamboat was talking about for part of it. Ok now I can a bit. The fans are saying speak up. Last night Foley issued a challenge for this tag match and Steamboat says it’s not about skill but it’s about the style the guys use. Steamboat calls it garbage wrestling because you use things like garbage cans in it. “In fact Mick I got an e-mail today from the Chicago sanitation department that says when your next novel fails they have a job for you cleaning up the garbage.” BURN.

 

Foley gets on the mic and makes fun of Steamboat for being too serious and not an entertaining talker. Foley talks about Steamboat winning the title in 1989 right here in Chicago from Ric Flair (Chi-Town Rumble, well worth checking out). Steamboat may be the greatest pure wrestler of all time. I’m not sure “may be” is needed here. However, saying someone is the greatest pure wrestler of all time “is like saying someone is the greatest softcore adult actor of all time.”

 

Foley defends hardcore wrestling because it’s about toughness and giving it all you have. He wants to know how long Steamboat plans to ride Flair’s coattails (even though Flair is a washed up loser). The fans are split here. Steamboat comes back with I know Flair, I’ve worked with Flair and you Mick Foley are no Ric Flair. Foley blasts Flair, saying he has a banana nose, orange teeth and looks like Barbara Bush in drag.

 

Steamboat says those were funny when Funk said them 20 years ago. Foley comes up with some new ones, like Flair says the same things time after time and carries Batista’s bags and sucked up to HHH. Oh and Flair has botox. This is HILARIOUS. Here’s the real burn: “I’m no Ric Flair because I knew when my time was done, I stepped aside for the sake of younger guys.” Bear in mind that about three and a half years later Foley won the TNA World Title, although TNA was still pretty awesome at this point.

 

Oh hey we have a match to get to. Everyone shakes hands pre match. Ok so it’s Nigel vs. Whitmer to get us going. We go over who has the best trainer in this and Maff is kind of left out in the cold. This is under pure rules, which is an overly complicated system that means you have a limited amount of rope breaks and no punches. Off to Maff as the pure guys are dominating with a lot of arm drags in a nice touch. And here are the Carnage Crew to jump Foley and a brawl breaks out. Not long enough to grade but it was pretty basic up to this point.

 

Steamboat goes off on the Carnage Crew for ruining the match and even calls them a bunch of dickheads. Announcer: “STEAMBOAT SAID DICKHEADS!!!!!” Ok so now the match is starting again but it’s under hardcore rules. Well sure why not? It’s a bit brawl to start and once they’re on the floor Foley drills McGuinness with the mic. They’re into the crowd already. The Crew is gone.

 

Maff cracks a water bottle over the head of Collyer and McGuinness gets taken down by a chair. Ok so now we’re into the ring and there are a few chairs involved. This is a total brawl and Steamboat is back now. Ok he wants it to be pure wrestling again. McGuinness gets all technical and such and gets a slick rollup on Whitmer for the pin.

 

Rating: C+. That’s for the whole thing. Steamboat and Foley were by far the best things about this but I don’t think that surprises anyone. The idea of mixing both styles was interesting but it needed more than it had here. The main conclusion I can draw from this though: MAN WCW was stupid for not following up on Steamboat vs. Foley in 92.

Next up we’ll take a look at a match from ROH Final Battle 2006 against Jimmy Rave, which was the result of an open challenge by Rave.

Jimmy Rave vs. Nigel McGuinness

Well that didn’t take long to sanction and sign did it? It’s weird seeing Wolfe with spiked hair. He’s ridiculously popular though, just like in TNA so of course he can’t be pushed right? They shake left hands for some odd reason. That’s different. This isn’t much but to be fair they have a feud going so this works.

 

I still don’t get the appeal of Rave though. Nigel does an insane submission hold where he locks Rave’s arm around his leg and traps the other arm behind Nigel’s back and bends backwards which looked like it was going to rip it off. The crowd goes oooooo at that. Nigel is apparently a big deal here. Nigel takes his head off with a clothesline but it gets two. Oh I’m sorry: it was a lariat.

 

Tower of London hits and Nigel isn’t sure what to do. Rave hits a Pedigree for one. Rave counters a Hulking Up Nigel into a Crippler Crossface. As impressive as Rave has been, I still just don’t care about him. Nigel hits a Tower of London (Diamond Cutter) onto the apron, which would be about the same as the mat wouldn’t it? It gets two either way so it doesn’t really matter.

 

And then after getting destroyed for about five minutes, Rave gets the heel hook and Nigel taps despite never having his leg worked on at all. I HATE moves like that. If that’s the case, why in the world would he wait almost fifteen minutes before going for it? At least with a strike like Sweet Chin Music it’s a knockout move. This is just a submission which makes a part of the body hurt. Why go for the Crossface earlier? That makes NO SENSE. It’s completely anti-psychology and that’s just irritating. Plus it’s Jimmy Rave so it’s even more annoying. Rave wants a world title shot.

 

Rating: B-. Totally annoying ending aside, this was a pretty solid match I guess. There were a ton of near falls but you could see the ending coming a mile away with about three minutes to go. Nigel looks dominant but let’s push Rave because…well just because! Didn’t like the ending at all but the rest was good.

Nigel would become the ROH Pure Champion in 2005 before losing it to Bryan Danielson who unified it with the world title. Here’s a rematch between the two at the Sixth Anniversary Show from February 23, 2008 with Nigel defending his world title. To date, he’s the only two time world champion in company history.

ROH World Title: Bryan Danielson vs. Nigel McGuinness

The fans are split here and it’s a feeling out process to start with Nigel grabbing a wristlock, only to have Danielson dropkick the knee out to put him down. Back up and they fight over a test of strength until Bryan takes him down by the legs. There’s a bow and arrow hold to the champion before pinning Nigel’s arms down to the mat for two. Back up and Danielson avoids Nigel’s big lariat before calling on the crowd’s xenophobia by starting a USA chant.

Nigel takes him down with a headlock takeover but Bryan easily counters into a headscissors. McGuinness fights to the ropes but is very frustrated at not being able to slow down the challenger. Danielson is taken into the corner for some chops but does a headstand in the corner and catches Nigel with a dropkick. Nigel is sent to the floor and taken out with the FLYING GOAT as things speed up.

Back in and Bryan hits a missile dropkick before suplexing Nigel down with ease. McGuinness rolls to the apron for a breather before shoving the referee down for the lame DQ. He grabs the mic and says that the wankers in the crowd got the title match that they wanted and goes to leave, only to run into Austin Aries, Delirious, and I believe Kevin Steen and Roderick Strong. Aries says get back in the ring or go through all of them. McGuinness gets back inside and we’re at it again.

Danielson chops away in the corner but Nigel gets in a shot to the shoulder and sends it into the buckle and post. The fans shout SCREW YOU NIGEL and he tells them to chant louder. Off to an armscissors before Nigel slaps Bryan in the face, making the fans beg Bryan to mess him up. The champion wraps Bryan’s arm around the rope and then the post while mocking the USA chant. Back in and Nigel traps the arm down and cranks on the neck but Bryan comes back with a big kick to the head and a knee to the ribs.

Bryan is starting to feel it and sends Nigel to the apron where a running kick to the back sends the Brit to the floor. Nigel isn’t done yet though and backdrops Danielson over the top to the floor and the fans quiet down again. Bryan reverses a whip into the barricade before dumping Nigel into the crowd, setting up a HUGE springboard dive over the steel and into the crowd. Back in and McGuinness blocks another missile dropkick but gets caught in a triangle choke.

Nigel’s big lariat puts Danielson down and the fans complain that it’s the same move McGuinness always uses. Note that they’re complaining about this in a BRYAN DANIELSON match. Danielson sits on the top rope and catapults Nigel out to the floor again. McGuinness blocks another FLYING GOAT with an uppercut (thankfully Bryan was clearly stopping before he reached the ropes), setting up the Tower of London on the floor. The champion is busted open a bit as well.

Back in again and Nigel puts Danielson in Cattle Mutilation (Bryan’s hold) but Bryan rolls around into a cover for two. Danielson ducks a big lariat but crotches himself on the ropes, setting up a middle rope clothesline and another Tower of London for two. There’s a seated armbar as Nigel remembers the arm work from earlier. Danielson raises his arm and waves to the crowd as he makes it into the ropes for the break. Back up and Danielson hits a Rolling Chaos Theory out of the corner to put both guys down.

They strike it out until McGuinness is sat on top for a belly to back superplex for two. There’s the real Cattle Mutilation but Nigel rolls over, only to be caught in a tiger suplex for two. Danielson fires off a bunch of elbows to the ribs and puts on an armbar followed by a triangle choke. McGuinness gets his arm up at two drops and finally gets his feet in the ropes. Bryan pounds on him in the corner and asks for a ten count but Nigel headbutts him down, injuring Danielson’s bad eye from a recent injury. The big running lariat sets up a bunch of seated elbows to the head. Bryan is out as Nigel puts on the seated armbar to win.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but I wasn’t feeling it all that well. The biggest problem here was there was some deal with Danielson not attacking the head and having a bad eye but the announcers expected us to know what those stories were about. That’s one thing WWE commentary is great at: you’re always going to hear the story of a match very quickly and leave very little confusion. The action here was solid but it felt like they were trying to have a long match rather than a good one. Also if you’re going to do the false DQ finish, do it after six minutes into the match.

Nigel would hold the world title for more than a year after this, eventually dropping it to Jerry Lynn. His next and last major stop was in TNA, where he had the awesome ring name of Desmond Wolfe. Nigel’s first feud was with Kurt Angle, leading to a 2/3 falls match at Final Resolution 2009. The first fall was pin only, the second was submission only, and the third was inside of a cage with escape only.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Kurt Angle

 

Angle is still in a Mafia shirt even though that’s long since dead.  They have a ton of time here so they start slowly with ground work.  Angle grabs the leg and down to the mat we go.  Off to a cobra clutch by Wolfe.  Lots of technical stuff here which is pretty solid of course given who is in there.  Hammerlock by Angle and we look at some guy and his kid in the crowd for no apparent reason at all.

Multiple covers get nothing for Wolfe.  A knee drop misses for Wolfe so Angle goes after the leg.  Headlock takedown and it’s Wolfe in control.  They’re in first gear here or maybe a mild second one but it’s still entertaining.  The dueling chants have already started.  Angle fights up and gets a buckle bomb for our first big high impact move.  We’ve been at this almost 8 minutes now so you can tell this is going slowly.

Wolfe in control again with Wolfe working on the arm a bit more.  Modified cobra clutch goes on for a bit but Kurt fights back.  Overhead belly to belly but Kurt can’t get the Angle Slam.  A single arm DDT hits but Wolfe misses a big clothesline misses.  Rolling Germans go on in a set of about five or six.

Angle goes up and gets caught in the Tower of London for two.  It’s a Diamond Cutter off the top if you’re wondering.  The lariat misses again and it’s another attempt at the Tower of London but Kurt escapes and the Angle Slam gets two.  Angle tries the moonsault and, say it with me, it misses by a mile.  Clothesline hits this time and the Tower of London gets the first fall for Wolfe.  Really should have been after the clothesline.

Wolfe goes straight for the arm and Kurt is in big trouble already.  The crank that Wolfe has it on there is INSANE.  Kurt rolls out of it though and it’s time for a figure four out of nowhere.  The rope is grabbed and we’re back to the arm again.  Wolfe puts on a ton of arm holds and they’re all at least somewhat different.  Kurt reverses one of them into the ankle lock and Wolfe is in trouble.

Wolfe reverses into the LeBell Lock minus the crossface.  That gets rolled through and it’s back to the ankle lock.  This is a technical masterpiece so far.  Angle reverses ANOTHER arm hold into the ankle lock which Wolfe reverses into an ankle lock of his own.  Angle grabs something like a triangle choke which gets reversed into an arm lock again.  Triangle choke goes on but Kurt runs through it into an ankle lock again and it’s the grapevine added that ends fall 2.

Ok so it’s now escape to win it.  Oh that guy they showed earlier is Jason Williams of the Orlando Magic.  WWE is in town tonight so they’re making fun of it somehow.  Angle puts Wolfe down and goes up so they fight on the ropes a bit.  Wolfe rams the arm into the cage which is rather smart and basic.  Wolfe goes up so Kurt does the same thing to Wolfe’s leg.  I like that as it’s nice storytelling.

Wolfe knocks him off the ropes so Kurt pops up and throws him off in the running suplex.  Desmond is busted BAD.  Kurt goes up but Wolfe gets a boot up which might have hit Angle’s bad arm.  It was Wolfe’s bad leg though so everyone is down.  Desmond calls for the door to be open but Kurt makes the save again.  Wolfe taps forever but Kurt won’t let go.  Desmond passes out and Kurt climbs out.  Wolfe almost made it but couldn’t quite do it.

Rating: A. Great match here with some incredible back and forth stuff in the submission round.  I don’t tend to like matches like these but this was very fun to see.  Wolfe being left laying like that at the end was great but I would have had him stay there until Kurt had won.  Either way, great match and the whole thing worked incredibly well.  Brutal match with a clear winner, which is the point of matches like these.

 

We’ll wrap this up with a match from 1PW out of England with Desmond Wolfe facing British wrestler Lionheart from The New Divide on May 29, 2010.

Desmond Wolfe vs. Lionheart

Lionheart is a smaller guy with little hair and a lot of tattoos. Wolfe seems to be the favorite and definitely gets a bigger reaction. This is a rematch from a three way from about a year and a half ago for the ROH Title. They shake hands to start and there’s no commentary so I’m not clear on the backstory. Feeling out process to start with both guys working on the arm but spinning up to applause.

Back up and they run the ropes for a bit until Lionheart scores with a dropkick. Wolfe avoids another dropkick and it’s a stalemate. Desmond takes him into the corner to start and scores with an elbow but Lionheart shoves him down and hits a middle rope missile dropkick, only to have Desmond punch him in the face and throw Lionheart outside. Lionheart is holding his arm and takes a walk around the ring for a breather.

Back in and Wolfe grabs a front facelock before cranking on the arm like a smart wrestler should. Lionheart is getting annoyed at Wolfe for not trying as hard as he could so they slug it out with Lionheart taking over and getting two off a corner clothesline. Wolfe goes right back to the arm and suplexes him down by said arm for two. More shots to the arm get the same followed by Wolfe countering a sunset flip by slamming Lionheart’s arm into the mat.

Lionheart spins out of an armbar but is kicked in the face to stop any comeback attempt. Some European uppercuts have Lionheart staggered but he gets a boot up in the corner and hits a nice Blockbuster for two. A few slams and a legdrop get two on Wolfe as the fans are getting into this. Wolfe avoids a charge into the corner and hits a quick forearm to the chest for two. A hard running European uppercut in the corner sets up the Tower of London but Lionheart holds onto the ropes. Another uppercut is blocked with a boot to the face but Wolfe stops him on the top and superplexes Lionheart down for two.

Off to that seated armbar and the fans are really into things now, even though it’s not that great. Lionheart uses the free arm to break the hold and comes back with a Rock Bottom, only to miss a frog splash. Back to the armbar but Lionheart sweeps the leg and gets two off a rollup. They slug it out again with the fans entirely behind Desmond.

Lionheart takes over and gets two off a high cross body, followed by a superkick and frog splash for two. Another frog splash is broken up by Wolfe shoving the referee into the ropes and the Tower of London connects for two. The running lariat is countered into a rollup but Wolfe counters the rollup into a rollup of his own for the bridging pin.

Rating: B-. It wasn’t a bad way to spend fifteen minutes but I never got invested in the match. Neither guy was playing a heel here and I really know nothing about Lionheart so this was hard to care about. Wolfe was very popular here and it was a good showcase for him, but Lionheart wasn’t the best choice of an opponent.

Wolfe puts Lionheart over after the match.

Nigel McGuinness is a guy that had every tool you need to be a big star but injuries and having Hepatitis B brought his career to an end. He could go in the ring and easily hung in there with Kurt Angle and Bryan Danielson. I have no idea what more you need from a guy than what he had and he was on the verge of breaking through in TNA, only to have everything fall apart under Bischoff and Hogan. I’m shocked too.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 22: Tully Blanchard

After a string of some less than stellar picks, it’s time for the wrestler’s wrestler and an original Horseman: Tully Blanchard.

Tully got his start in his father Joe’s Southwest Championship Wrestling based out of San Antonio. It’s one of those promotions where video is kind of scarce so here’s Tully defending the SCW Title against Cowboy Scott Casey, who appeared at Survivor Series 1989 as a replacement for a replacement and is best known for training Booker T and Stevie Ray. This is from September 11, 1983.

SCW Title: Tully Blanchard vs. Scott Casey

Feeling out process to start until Casey grabs an armbar to take over. Tully counters into a chinlock and drops a few knees for two. Casey fights up into a belly to back suplex for a break before a neckbreaker gets two. Tully counters a piledriver by driving Casey into the corner and suplexes Scott down for two. Control shifts again off a release butterfly suplex from Casey and a backbreaker gets two on Tully.

The champion comes back with a knee lift and a swinging neckbreaker but walks into a powerslam for two. The fans chant for the sleeper (Casey’s finisher) but instead get a collision to put both guys down. Blanchard avoids a dropkick and hits a shoulder block to send Casey into the referee. This brings out a guy named Ken Tims who goes up but hits Tully by mistake, giving Casey the pin to send the crowd through the roof.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where it would help to have seen more of the buildup to the title change. The announcer was talking about how this had been four years in the making which isn’t something you can tell off of a nine minute match. It’s not bad or anything but Casey was a pretty generic guy who wasn’t terrible in the ring. Not much to see here but I’ve seen far worse.

We’ll move on 1984 when Tully had made it to the Mid-Atlantic Territory. He won the TV Title and defended it against Ricky Steamboat at Starrcade 1984 in the only good match on the show.

TV Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Tully Blanchard

 

Steamboat comes out to Eye of the Tiger which is rather awesome. Blanchard is defending and both guys have put up $10,000, meaning Blanchard is getting shafted here. Also if Tully runs or gets disqualified he loses the title. They lock up to start and Tully goes after Ricky’s injured ribs. Steamboat fires back with chops and the champion heads to the floor. The crowd is HOT for this one. Back in and Steamboat suplexes Blanchard down and hooks a reverse chinlock.

 

Tully can’t shake him off for a bit so Steamboat knees him in the chest to take Blanchard down again. Ricky’s ribs are too banged up though and he can’t stay on Tully. An elbow to the ribs has the champion in control and he follows up with some knees to said ribs. Steamboat kicks his way out of the corner and chops away before putting on a chinlock. Blanchard fights up and gets to the ropes before hammering on Ricky’s ribs again.

 

Back up and they circle each other a bit with Tully backing away most of the time. Tully escapes a headlock and tries to bail, only to be rolled up for two. Steamboat pounds away in the corner and hits a kind of standing clothesline for two. In something you’ll never see again, Ricky spits in Tully’s face and chops away in the corner. A swinging neckbreaker gets two for Steamboat as does a great looking dropkick. I think the champion is bleeding as Steamboat pounds away.

 

Tully loads up a foreign object as Steamboat tries to suplex him in from the apron and knocks Steamboat out cold……for two. That would be the ending of Tito Santana vs. Randy Savage a year and a half later. Tully’s superplex is broken up and Steamboat hits a top rope splash for two. Steamboat tries a sunset flip but Tully, right in front of the referee, pulls out the foreign object and blasts Ricky in the head with it for the pin to retain the title.

 

Rating: B+. If this show doesn’t get a failing grade, it’s all because of this. This is one of those combinations that was going to be amazing no matter what they did due to pure talent alone. The story worked very well with the ribs being injured but Tully cheating every way he could to keep the belt. Very good match here which could have been amazing with more time.

Soon thereafter, Tully would move on to his greatest feud. Around Julu, he and his valet Baby Doll stole the US Title from Magnum TA. This kicked off a huge feud between the two with both guys sneak attacking each other. The result was an I Quit match inside a steel cage for Tully’s title. Think of the idea here: a traditionalist who could wrestle with anyone facing a redneck from the south in an I Quit match. This match might actually be better than Bret vs. Austin in 1997.

US Title: Magnum TA vs. Tully Blanchard

 

This is definitely the biggest match of the Greensboro card and has a huge feud behind it. As mentioned, Tully stole the US Title from Magnum over the summer, setting off a war between the two based off the culture clash between the two. You had Tully Blanchard who was the wrestler’s wrestler. He was as technically sound as you could ask a wrestler to be, drank champagne and rode around in limousines. On the other hand you have Magnum who rode Harley-Davidson’s and drank beer. As mentioned, this storyline and characters would be copied almost identically for Bret Hart vs. Steve Austin in 1997.

 

This is inside a cage and is an I Quit match, which means anything goes and you lose when you make your opponent say I quit. Blanchard is defending if that wasn’t clear. Tully takes it into the corner to start but Magnum throws that great right hand of his to knock him down. The champ keeps taking it to the mat but Magnum turns it into a brawl. Back up and Tully starts pounding away on the ribs but Magnum comes back with some HARD punches to the face.

 

Magnum gets him between the ropes and the cage and rakes Tully’s face against the cage. Tully comes back with an elbow off the ropes to gain control before sending Magnum into the cage. Off to a reverse chinlock but Magnum fights out, only to be kneed in the back. Back up and Magnum pelts him with more right hands. The sounds as they hit make you cringe every time. Blanchard sends him into the cage and rakes at Magnum’s face as the brawling continues.

 

Now TA (short for Terry Allen, Magnum’s real name) sends Tully face first into the cage a few times and it’s off to an armbar. Tully is busted BAD already as Magnum keeps pounding away. Baby Doll screams for Tully to fight back so Blanchard gets in a right hand of his own, busting Magnum open as well. Tully gets the corded microphone and we get an iconic scene with Tully shouting at Magnum to SAY IT, Magnum shouting NO and Tully hitting him in the head with the microphone.

 

A top rope fist puts Magnum down but he still won’t say it. They get to their feet and Magnum slugs him back down before pounding him with the mic. Blanchard rips at Magnum’s eyes and POUNDS him with right hands. Magnum punches him down and tries to get Tully to quit but Blanchard kicks him down. TA punches him in the corner but Tully comes out with an atomic drop. Both guys look like they’ve been through a war.

 

Tully drops some elbows and throws the referee away. He brings in a wooden chair and immediately breaks it against the mat to get a nice jagged piece. Tully tries to drive it into Magnum’s already cut forehead but Magnum knocks it away and gets the wood himself with a crazed look in his eye. He knocks Tully down again and DRIVES THE SHARP EDGE INTO TULLY’S EYE, making Tully scream that he quits and giving Magnum the title. Magnums is fired up from winning the title but looks down at Tully holding his bloody eye and becomes very stoic, realizing what he did to win the title and beat Blanchard.

 

Rating: A+. Not only is this the best match of the night, not only is this the best match in the history of Starrcade, but it’s in the running for greatest match of all time. This was an absolute war and it felt like these two wanted to kill each other. If you’ve never gotten to see this, go check it out right now as it’s absolutely required viewing for wrestling fans. If you want to see a fight instead of a wrestling match, check this out.

Next up for Tully was the Horsemen, which he founded along with Ole and Arn Anderson and Rick Flair. While Tully and Arn dominated the tag title scene for a long time, we’ll take a look at the Horsemen as a unit inside the greatest gimmick match of all time: WarGames. In short, the two teams HATE each other and this is the bloodbath to end all bloodbaths.

Dusty Rhodes/Road Warriors/Nikita Koloff/Paul Ellering vs. Four Horsemen/JJ Dillon

The Horsemen in this case are Flair, Anderson, Blanchard, Luger and JJ Dillon. Flair’s music is epic as they crank the music WAY up. This is the Atlanta main event and it’s the debut of WarGames. For those of you uninitiated, WarGames is the mother of all gimmick matches. You have two teams of five and each team sends in a member. Those two fight for five minutes and there’s a coin toss.

The winning team gets to send in the third man to have a 2-1 advantage. That lasts two minutes and then the team that lost the toss gets to send in its second man to tie it at 2-2. That lasts two minutes then the team that won the toss sends in its third man. You alternate like that every two minutes until it’s 5-5 and then it’s first submission. No pins allowed.

Arn and Dusty start us off and remember this can’t end until all ten are in. There are two rings side by side with one huge cage over them if I didn’t mention that. They feel each other out a lot as they’re not entirely sure what to do here. Dusty walks on the second rope and then swings across the top of the cage to kick him in the ribs. Now they’re going and Dusty pounds away including a low blow which is perfectly legal.

There’s a DDT by Dusty and the crowd is red hot. Arn is cut open about two and a half minutes in so Dusty rakes it across the cage wall. Everyone hates everyone on the other team so this is a huge blood feud all around. Dusty sends him into the cage and has dominated the entire time. After a quick comeback by Arn Dusty gets his bad Figure Four on and then lets go of it because….well just because I guess.

The Horsemen win the toss (the faces literally never won the thing) and it’s Tully in next. The Horsemen beat him down but Dusty is booking so he knocks them both down with elbows. And scratch that as Tully gets in a knee shot and the double teaming begins. Tully puts on a Figure Four as they work over the knee. The clock seems to skip ahead a bit (no sign of clipping though) and Animal comes in to tie it up.

He starts launching Horsemen everywhere and sets Tully up for a slingshot which he rams three straight times. Shoulder block takes Tully down and Dusty destroys Anderson. I think Blanchard is busted and he gets double teamed a bit. Anderson looks dead. Animal is like screw that and rams him into the cage a few times. Flair is in to make it 3-2 and chops at Animal which doesn’t work. The number catch up with him as Anderson is back up quickly.

Sorry for a lot of play by play here but it’s the only thing you can do in matches like this one. Animal is busted. Dusty tries to fight back but he’s almost on his own. The fans are so loud that you can’t hear Tony and Jim. Dusty is bleeding and here comes Nikita. Flair grabs him as he comes in but the power of RUSSIA breaks up the Horsemen. The double ring thing here is very nice as they have room to move around. Animal sends Flair into the cage and he’s bleeding now. Dusty is gushing blood.

Nikita and Dusty work on the knee of Anderson but Nikita goes to get Tully stuck between the two rings and hits him between the ropes in a slingshot thing. Flair begs off Nikita and that doesn’t end well for the champ. A double dropkick puts Anderson down and here’s Lex. This is literally non-stop. Powerslam plants Koloff and Lex is dominating. There’s a spike piledriver to Nikita and then a second one just to kill him deader than dead. The Horsemen are in control but they’re starting to fall from exhaustion and blood loss.

Here’s Hawk and the fans erupt all over again. He destroys everything in sight and if you’re not bleeding already you will be now. Nikita’s neck is messed up and he can barely stand. JR is in Heaven with this much carnage. Flair gets a Figure Four on Dusty but it doesn’t count yet. The Horsemen only have JJ Dillon left and he’s a manger. He goes after Hawk and that’s just dumb.

Flair saves JJ’s life and they’re getting tired. Flair is bleeding a ton as if you expected anything else. JJ is taking a beating but Animal is getting triple teamed. Here’s Ellering to get us all tied up and now the match can end. Ellering has an LOD spiked pad on his arm. Dillon is bleeding BAD so Ellering JAMS THE SPIKE INTO HIS EYE. The LOD circles in on Dillon as the rest of the team runs interference. The Warriors spear his head into the cage and load up the Doomsday Device. JJ lands on his shoulder, legitimately hurting it. With Animal running interference, Hawk beats him half to death until he gives up to finally end this.

Rating: A+. This runs 26 minutes and there is literally no stopping in the whole thing. There isn’t some period where they chill because they’ve done enough. This is about brutality and violence and it works very well. There’s a ton of blood and JJ looks like he fell out of a building (for some reason in wrestling attire) at the end of it. It’s well worth seeing and still works today. Great match.

 

About a year later Arn and Tully would head to the WWF as the Brainbusters, managed by Bobby Heenan. They would squash jobbers for awhile before getting some traction as a top tag team. After a year of dominance, they would face Demolition for the Tag Titles on Saturday Night’s Main Event #32 in a 2/3 falls match.

TagTitles: Brainbustersvs. Demolition

So last SNME there was a solid match where the Busters had Demolition in trouble but Demolition got disqualified, intentionally or not is up for debate. Demolition says they’ll demolish them. They’ve held the belts since Mania 4 so it’s been a LONG time, actually the longest reign with the belts ever. This is 2/3 falls mind you. Tully and Axe start us off. I never felt comfortable with the Horsemen in WWF. It just didn’t feel right at all.

It’s ALL Demolition to start which should tell you something. Smash grabs a boot coming down at him which is something straight out of an 80s action movie. Smash apparently has an injured knee. Uh, sure. They just kind of said it was injured and then it isn’t anymore. Ok then. Anderson hits the spinebuster which doesn’t have a name yet. Smash gets a hot shot on Arn for a pin to get the first fall. That came a bit out of nowhere.

After a break it’s time for the second fall. There was no rest though as the perk of SNME was that since it was taped there was no wrestling during the break. As in it would pick up right where it was left off. We get a lot of double teaming on both sides and it gives the heels the advantage. A horrible camel clutch does nothing of note. In the middle of the insanity, Andre comes down and does nothing and Demolition is disqualified for double teaming to tie us up. This is a mess to put it mildly.

Now if Demolition is DQ’ed or counted out here, the titles don’t change hands. The heels do the old British Bulldogs move of ramming one guy’s head into his own partners’ which works well here. Axe takes over again but in a stupid looking moment he hits an atomic drop and rams his head into Arn’s. Both get hot tags though and this needs to end. It’s ANOTHER big mess but Andre throws in a chair for Tully which gets the pin and the titles to end the nearly year and a half reign with the titles for Demolition.

Rating: D. WOW this was a mess. It’s not particularly bad, but we get it: THEY CAN BRAWL. There’s far more brawling in this than wrestling which is rare for this era. The match could have worked as it’s not like the Brainbusters couldn’t wrestle or something like that. This was just a mess the whole time and it didn’t do it for me.

Soon after this the Brainbusters would face the Hart Foundation at Summerslam 1989 in what can only be called an 80s dream match.

Hart Foundation vs. Brain Busters

The Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) won the tag titles a few weeks before this show, but since the match was already signed this is non-title. Why it wasn’t changed to a title match is beyond me but there’s no way this won’t be awesome. Heenan is with the Brain Busters here, making what Jesse said even more confusing. Bret and Tully get things going with Hart going straight for the arm. Arn comes in to take Bret to the mat with a headlock, only to have Bret crank on his arm as well.

A hammerlock slam puts Arn in a cute bit before it’s off to Neidhart for some powerful cranking on the arm. The Harts change two more times and both guys get to crank on the arm before Bret puts on an armbar. Arn slips out and brings in Tully who has his own arm pulled on by Anvil. Blanchard pulls on the beard to escape but can’t hiptoss the big man over. Back to Bret for more arm work before Anvil sneaks in without a tag. It’s only cheating if you get caught remember.

Anvil completely no sells some chops to the chest and sends Tully into the buckle before bringing Bret back in. The fans are all over Heenan with a Weasel chant while Bret works on a hammerlock. Tully grabs a top wristlock but Bret bridges off the mat to escape and the Busters are sent to the outside. Back in and Bret wins a slugout with Tully but gets suckered into a chase with Blanchard making a blind tag to Arn who blasts Bret from behind.

Everything breaks down again with the Brain Busters being knocked out to the floor once again. Back in and Bret sends Tully’s face into Anvil’s boot before bringing Neidhart again. Things break down again but Bret accidentally whips Jim into the buckle to give the Busters control. Arn drives a middle rope elbow into Neidhart’s back before it’s back to Tully for a reverse chinlock. Neidhart picks him up but Tully makes another blind tag off to Anderson to block a tag.

Arn punches him down but Anvil LAUNCHES Anderson off at two. Back up and both guys collide before Bret gets in a knee to Arn’s back to give Neidhart a breather. The hot tag brings in Hart vs. Blanchard with Bret dropping the middle rope elbow for no cover. Everything breaks down for the third or fourth time tonight with Bret being whipped into Tully to put both guys down.

Arn and Jim go to the floor but Bret slingshots Jim over the top into a shoulder block to Tully. Anvil powerslams Bret onto Blanchard but Anderson hits an ax handle to Bret’s head for the pin (while covering his head so the referee doesn’t see it’s Arn in the ring because Arn Anderson is more awesome than you).

Rating: B. I could watch Arn Anderson matches all day because of stuff like that at the end. I mean, who would think of such a little thing like that at the end of a match? This was a very solid opener but again I have no idea why the titles weren’t on the line here, especially if the Busters were going to go over by pin. The Harts wouldn’t even be a factor in the title scene for another year and even then they were big underdogs.

The Busters would lose the titles back to Demolition a few months later. Soon thereafter, Tully would fail a drug test and leave the WWF as a result. It would also virtually blackball him from wrestling as he couldn’t get nearly the same amount of money that he was paid before, leading to him getting out of the business for the most part. Save for a few appearances in ECW, Tully would only be seen at one more major show: Slamboree 1994, which was billed as a legends reunion. Tully would face Terry Funk in the best match on the show.

Tully Blanchard vs. Terry Funk

Blanchard comes out to what would become Jericho’s face music. There’s something wrong with the sound as you literally cannot hear the announcer. And Funk, who has been missing all night, comes out to something sounding like a screwed up Magnificent Seven theme. Now keep in mind this is in the….GORDON SOLIE IS ANNOUNCING!!! Anyway, they decide to have Funk in ECW’s town. Guess who the INSANELY over face is in this match.

Funk stands in front of Hat Guy. And of course we start on the floor. See, now unlike Heroes of Wrestling, Blanchard is in solid shape here. Also he’s not completely obsolete anymore. They haven’t been in the ring yet. Solie just throws out that he was in Miami back in 75 when Funk won the belt. Can you imagine how awesome it would be to crack open a beer with him and listen to him tell stories?

I think this is no rules which would make more sense here. Funk piledrives Blanchard through a piece of wood, which you can read as Terry’s back goes through it and Blanchard’s head comes nowhere near it. The fans chant WE WANT BLOOD. This is an intense match which is impressive as the old guys are having a more interesting match than the others were. There goes the referee of course and it’s chair time.

Blanchard is bleeding. Funk tries to piledrive Tully from the middle rope onto the chair but he winds up just landing on the chair so it looked like a really screwedup powerbomb which is likely best in the end. Tully hits the referee for the DQ but I think it’s just a double DQ. The fans audibly chant bull. Funk takes Hat Guy’s hat to end it.

Rating: B+. Fun. That’s the only way to describe this match. These two went out there and had fun and that’s all you can ask for. Yes that rating is likely high but this match was a blast. I can’t ask for more than that from a match with no point other than having two legends. The wrestling was quite good here too.

Other than a few appearances at some spot shows such as WrestleReunion and Heroes of Wrestling, that’s it for Tully. He mostly retired to become a minister and never looked back. Tully Blanchard is as good of an in ring worker as you’ll ever find. That slingshot suplex of his is a great example of taking a regular move and making it a big finisher by having it get pins. The match and feud with Magnum is possibly the best blood feud in wrestling history and that’s not an exaggeration. On top of that he was an excellent tag wrestler to make Tully a very well rounded talent. Check him out if you want to see WCW’s version of Bret Hart with better talking skills.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 21: Arnold Skaaland/Go Shiozaki

No one really jumped off the page at me today so I’ll do a double shot of two not bad guys. Today it’s Go Shiozaki and Arnold Skaaland. We’ll start with the old guy: Arnold Skaaland.

Skaaland is one of those guys that you hear about on occasion but almost no one remembers. He was a big deal back in the earlier days of the company, dating back to the 1950s. Skaaland also owned a piece of the Capitol Wrestling Corporation, which is probably part of the reason why he was pushed for so long. Here’s a tag match from January 6, 1966, which is one of the oldest things I’ve ever reviewed.

Antonio Pugiliese/Arnold Skaaland vs. Angelo Savoldi/Tony Altimore

This is 2/3 falls. Antonio is billed as Bruno Sammartino’s cousin, which is an old tactic to give people a head start to getting over. Before the match, the announcer praises Vince McMahon (senior) for making up next week’s card already. We also hear the term dark match on television, as we hear of Bruno appearing in a tag match at the end of the taping next week. Skaaland’s team is the crowd favorite here.

Altimore and Skaaland get things going here with Tony trying to lure him into the heel corner. This goes nowhere until Arnold slaps him in the face and hooks an armbar. Savoldi tries to come in so the faces change without tagging. The referee throws Savoldi out so the good guys cheat again, resulting in Arnold hooking another armbar. Altimore counters into a front facelock/choke which he keeps getting admonished for.

Antonio comes in and hooks a cravate on Altimore. He lays Altimore on the mat and pulls on Tony’s arms with his feet on Tony’s shoulders in a submission hold which gets a bunch of two counts. Antonio literally rides around on Altimore as he crawls on all fours. Tony finally gets up and yells a lot, nearly punching out the referee. Antonio takes Altimore down again and hits a flying headscissors to bring Savoldi in as well.

Antonio snap mares Tony down as Savoldi tries to cheat some more, only to get hit in the chest. I don’t think Savoldi has been in yet at all. Naturally as I say that he gets tagged in, only to run away, landing in the wrong corner. Skaaland, ever the nice guy, holds Angelo in the corner so Antonio can hammer away. The heels double team Antonio in the corner as I guess we’re waiting on a hot tag to Arnold.

Scratch that as well as Antonio clotheslines Angelo down and brings in Skaaland for a full nelson. Altimore’s cheating fails as he hits Savoldi in the exposed chest. Savoldi backdrops Skaaland and I think we get a botch, as Angelo looks surprised that it worked. Immediately thereafter, they do the same spot with Skaaland hooking a sunset flip for the pin and the first fall.

It’s Skaaland vs. Altimore to start the second fall with Arnold hitting a quick monkey flip. The thud on the map sounded like thunder going off. Tony starts choking and is immediately caught, but it’s enough to let Savoldi get in some choking. Skaaland avoids a shot in the corner and the heels nearly have a fight over it. The legal guys circle each other for a bit before Altimore grabs Arnold’s arm for some cranking.

Savoldi tries to come in but Antonio literally chases him away. Everything breaks down for a bit until we get back to normal with Altimore punching Skaaland down. Unfortunately he punches him into Antonio who picks Tony up and lays him on the top rope. Antonio pounds Altimore over and over again in the face before dropping some knees to the head for the jackknife pin.

Rating: C+. For a match that ran over twenty minutes, I had no problem with this at all. It wasn’t exactly the Midnights vs. the RNRE, but this certainly wasn’t boring. A lot of the moves are ones you would see today and it was clear who the good guys and bad guys were. The ending with Altimore getting beaten down and pinned was fine stuff. This wasn’t boring at all and I’m rather surprised by that.

We’ll stick with the tag stuff and look at a match from Big Time Wrestling out of Detroit with the tag team champions the Hell’s Angels facing JJ Dillon and Arnold Skaaland.

Hell’s Angel’s vs. Arnold Skaaland/Jim Dillon

The Angels (Ron and Paul Dupree in a biker gimmick) are tag champions here, which if the records I can find are correct, would put this at some point in 1968 or 1969, making JJ a rookie. I’m pretty sure this is non-title. The Angels take forever to get out of their gear and it’s Angel #1 vs. Dillon, who is a cowboy here, to start. #1 takes Jim down by the trunks and the Angels do a switch without the tag to ensure that they’re the heels.

The Angels change again to stay on Jim’s arm as we might be in a squash match here. We stick with the old school tactics here as the good guys make a tag but the referee doesn’t see it so the biased referee won’t let it count. A second attempt works a bit better and Skaaland cleans house to a big reaction.

Back in and #1 gets to try his luck with Arnold but #2 gets in a cheap shot from the apron to take over again. Choking ensues and the Angels cheat even more to keep Skaaland in trouble. The referee admonishes the champions long enough to allow a tag off to Dillon but the Angels quickly slam him down and #1 drops a top rope knee for the pin.

Rating: D. This was a really sloppy match as it felt like they were trying to have a squash but the good guys got in too much offense. Dillon was very green at this point but the only way to get better is to be in the ring. The Angels were nothing to see either, though they had the crowd into their heel antics.

I’ll fit in a singles match to make this actually about Skaaland. This is from December 19, 1977.

LouAlbanovs. ArnoldSkaaland

We get our first story here as Arnold won Manager of the Year and Albano is ticked off about it, resulting in them fighting over it. The face, Arnold, jumps Lou during introductions to show he means business. Fans are WAY into this which always helps. Albano runs immediately and still has his jacket on. A foreign object ends that though and we’re ready to go.

Super Mario needs a shirt while wrestling. Allegedly these two weigh the same thing but I have a problem believing that one for some reason. Somewhere around the 8th shot with it the referee sees it or at least thinks he sees it so he plays Find the Object in Albano’s Pants. That’s a good one to play at a party where there are no women or alcohol. Arnold gets it and beats on Albano with it, busting him open.

Arnold pounds away as Albano tries not to fall down. And so much for that theory as Albano hits the floor. For about the 5th time he adjusts his tights and then runs to the back for the relatively cheap count out. I say relatively as this sets up another match down the road I’d assume.

Rating: D. Well the crowd was into it if nothing else. The match itself sucked but when it’s a battle of managers how much can you expect? It’s less than five minutes long though and Skaaland (dang that’s hard to type) made a comeback to a nice pop so this worked fine for what it was. Match was awful though from a wrestling standpoint which is what we’re going for here.

Skaaland is a guy that was good for his time but just doesn’t hold up all that well in modern wrestling. Now that being said, the fact that it was a different era means a lot. Skaaland was nicknamed the Golden Boy so having him be a generic guy like this makes sense. Also he sold tickets for the company as one of the top faces, even though he never won a singles title. He’s an interesting piece of history but not much more than that.

On to Go Shiozaki who is best known for his time in Pro Wrestling Noah. Therefore, we’ll start over there with Shiozaki challenging Nigel McGuinness for the ROH World Title on January 20, 2008.

ROH World Title: Nigel McGuinness vs. Go Shiozaki

The mat is green which is taking a bit of getting used to. Nigel ducks a big chop to start as we’re still in the early feeling out process. The champion takes Go into the corner for some chops but this is Japan so it turns into a contest. Since that’s going nowhere we hit the mat for a chinlock on Shiozaki that lasts all of five seconds. They head to the apron where Go tries a German suplex on the apron but settles for ramming Nigel’s arm into the barricade. Another shot into the steel puts McGuinness down and a ram into the post makes him groan.

Nigel tries to sucker Go into chopping the post but Shiozaki fakes him out and chops Nigel again. The second attempt works a bit better and the chopping loses its power. This time Nigel is the one ramming his opponent’s arm into the post before bending Go’s hand around the piece of metal that connects the buckle to the ring. Back in and the champion takes Go down with chops of his own before avoiding a charge, sending Shiozaki’s arm into the post. Nigel wraps it around the post again before putting on a Fujiwara armbar.

McGuinness gets all cocky as is his custom before putting on an armtrap chinlock, similar to a Tazmission. Now he sits on Go’s back and cranks on the arm which has the fans interested. Shiozaki finally fights up but chops with the good arm, allowing Nigel to take over again. The Tower of London (Diamond Cutter off the top) is broken up so they trade forearms, with Go using the bad arm. A slam puts the champion down and a middle rope knee drop gets two.

Nigel blocks a superkick but gets taken down with a fisherman’s buster for two more. Go gets crotched on the top and now the Tower of London connects for two. There’s a seated armbar ala Leo Kruger’s GC3 but Go is quickly in the ropes. A Tower of London off the apron knocks Shiozaki senseless but it takes awhile for him to get back in, meaning Alex only gets two. Back to the seated armbar but Go makes the ropes again.

Now Nigel gets creative by loading up a hammerlock belly to back superplex but Shiozaki counters into a cross body for two. Something resembling Rolling Germans get two for Go and the final one sends Nigel into the corner. A great looking moonsault gets two and Shiozaki locks in a Kimura. Nigel makes the rope and is placed on the top, only to come back by crotching Shiozaki on the top rope. A middle rope lariat gets one as Shiozaki starts Hulking Up.

Go comes back with a BIG sitout brainbuster but can’t follow up with a cover. They slug it out from their knees before trading pinning combinations for two each. Off to an Anaconda Vice by Nigel but Go breaks free with the bad arm and gets into the ropes as well. A series of strikes get two for Go and he hits a suplex into a sitout Rock Bottom but Nigel counters the cover into another seated armbar, finally getting the tap.

Rating: B+. I liked this a lot more than I was expecting to even though I’ve always been a fan of Nigel’s work. The arm work paying off in the end helped this a lot as I was afraid they were going to keep building on that and then going absolutely nowhere with it. Good, good match here with Nigel getting to show off.

We’ll continue our international theme by going to Mexico for a four way tag team match for Shiozaki/Atushi Aoki’s AAA Tag Team Titles from Triplemania 18.

Tag Titles: Los Maniacos vs. Beer Money vs. Atsushi Aoki/Go Shiozaki vs. Nicho/Joe Lider

 

This is under elimination rules and Shiozako/Aoki are champions coming in. Los Maniacos are Silver Cain (Silver King from WCW who has lost his mask and Ultimo Gladiator). An interesting point here is that the champions are introduced by the wrong name with one guy not getting an announcement at all. Also from what I’ve read, only Konnan knew either their names or Beer Money’s names. Cain basically is something like Mr. America where everyone knows it’s Silver King but officially it’s a different guy as his name is different if that makes sense.

 

The wrong music plays for the champions as it’s Beer Money’s song instead. Ok here is Beer Money to the right music. They’re part of the Foreign Legion tonight. See how the group works now? In the back the final team is coming to the ring but some guy in a suit says Konnan is out there and not to go after them. That would be Nicho/Lider who are La Hermandad 187 (the 187 Brotherhood). Nicho is more famous as Psicosis without the mask. The Japanese guys and Lider almost get into it before the match.

 

No tagging here again it seems. This is going to take some getting used to. Roode and someone are on the floor. Also cut out the wide shots. I can’t see anyone specifically for the most part. Four in the ring and four on the floor at the moment. I think Beer Money is on the floor. It’s the Japanese guys and Los Maniacos in there at the moment. Nicho who is apparently a millionaire is down.

 

Only the champions (Japanese guys remember) are staying in the ring and on their feet the whole time. One hits a frog splash to I think Lider for two. Beer Money vs. Japanese guys at the moment. I know I’m saying Japanese guys a lot but it’s the best description I can give you in a short amount of time. Hermanadad gets in Konnan’s face with chairs but the champions jump them to save K-Dawg.

 

Beer Money works on Nicho with a wheelbarrow/Codebreaker combination. They set for the BEER MONEY thing but Hermanadad gets a pair of rollups for two each. Nicho vs. Aoki at the moment with the champion winning. Storm is ripping Cain’s mask and almost has it off. Nicho vs. Aoki in the ring at the moment and Aoki is sent to the floor. Tope con Giro by Nicho takes down Aoki.

 

La Hermanadad beats on Aoki now until Shiozaki comes in. A middle rope Backstabber out of nowhere to Shiozaki puts him out and the champions are gone! Konnan FREAKS as we’re down to three teams. Storm has a chair now and sets it up in the corner. Beer Money beats on the Hermanadad as we haven’t seen much from the masked dudes. Beer Money screws up and Roode head winds up in Storm’s crotch.

 

Los Manacos get into it again and go after 187 which is what I’m going to say instead of La Hermanadad. 187 is down but get up to hit stereo Downward Spirals to Beer Money. Storm takes what we would call a Mooregasm and then add….something which gets two on Storm. It was some double team move but it was hard to see what it was. Konnan distracts 187 again and a chair to the head of Lider by Storm ends them and we’re down to Los Manacos vs. Beer Money for the titles.

 

Tower of Doom spot doesn’t really work at all but it looked ok and got two for Roode. Nicho goes after Konnan with a chair but can’t hit him. The fans are completely behind Manacos. Cain misses a moonsault and the slingshot DDT kills Gladiator as it’s all Beer Money with the spinebuster to Cain. Heel miscommunication occurs though and it’s Gladiator vs. Storm.

 

There are two referees in the ring for some reason. Spear takes down Storm for two. Roode and Cain have gone off to find a Bingo game or something. Storm hits a powerslam for two. Superkick by Storm misses and Cain hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin and the titles. HUGE pop for that as they’re faces and Mexicans hold the titles again.

 

Rating: B-. This was a more fun match than the rest of them. While it was still hard to follow it was less difficult than the other matches. This lack of tagging thing is something I’m having issues getting used to. Either way, there was more of a flow here and I had a better idea of what was going on which is certainly a good thing.

 

We’ll close it out in Kenta vs. Go Shiozaki from November 23, 2012 in the Global League Tournament. I’m aware that Kenta usually spells his name in all caps and I’m not typing it that way. Get over it.

Kenta vs. Go Shiozaki

Kenta appears to be the big crowd favorite. They strike it out to start with Kenta getting the better of it via kicks to the chest and a running knee to the ribs. Kenta charges into a boot in the corner and is lifted up for a suplex before Go just drops him onto the floor. Go whips him into the barricade and they head back inside for a strike off until Shiozaki dropskicks him down for two.

They blow a spot in the corner where I believe Kenta was supposed to have a boot up so Go just awkwardly forearms him instead. Another attempt works a few seconds later with Kenta getting the boots up. Since this is Japan though, Go completely no sells it and hits him with a chop. There’s a half crab but Kenta is quickly in the ropes for the break. Some running forearms knock Go down and Kenta locks on an STF.

Go is about to get the rope so Kenta lets go and drops him with a knee to the ribs for two. A springboard missile dropkick and a running boot in the corner have Go in trouble but he explodes out with a clothesline. I can live with this as he stays down after the clothesline so it’s not as bad. Kenta tries an arm lock but Go comes back with a hard shot to the head for two. Kenta’s GTS (he invented it) is escaped, allowing Go to superkick him (Kenta doesn’t go down of course) and get two off a kind of chinlock suplex.

That pretty awesome suplex into a sitout Rock Bottom is almost countered into a guillotine choke but Go powers Kenta up for two. A big running lariat gets two for Go and a superkick actually puts Kenta down for a second. Go loads up a modified pumphandle slam but Kenta counters into a Hell’s Gate followed by the YES Lock, making Shiozaki tap out.

Rating: C. REALLY annoying no selling aside, this wasn’t bad. I totally get why Kenta is such a smark favorite: he’s basically a video game character as a wrestler with a lot of the American finishing moves as regular moves (yes I’m aware he was likely doing a lot of them first). The match wasn’t doing much for me as Shiozaki worked much better as a face than the heel he was playing here.

Go Shiozaki is talented but he didn’t do much to stand out for me. The McGuinnes match was good but I’ve seen Nigel have good matches with just about anybody. Shiozaki is a guy I’ve heard a few good things about but he’s not someone that I have much of a desire to watch do anything more.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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2013 Wrestling Observer Newsletter Awards Announced

Dave Meltzer’s WON Awards are out so it’s time to see how much he loves Japan this year. I’ll include my winners as well and my thoughts on his, though keep in mind I don’t watch puro and I’m only a casual MMA fan at best. Also before I start, I’m well aware that Meltzer’s readers vote on this, but if you believe the majority of them do anything but repeat what he says, you’re more delusional than I can help.

Wrestler of the Year – Hiroshi Tanahashi (John Cena/Daniel Bryan)

Everyone says it’s Bryan or Cena, Meltzer picks the top Japanese guy. Is anyone surprised by this?

Most Valuable MMA Fighter – Georges St. Pierre

I’ll take his word for it.

Most Outstanding Wrestler – Hiroshi Tanahashi

I’m still not sure how this is different from Wrestler of the Year

Best Box Office Draw – Georges St. Pierre

Next.

Feud of the Year – Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada (Rhodes Family vs. Authority)

I’ve heard good things about this feud but I saw their match from the January 4 show and wasn’t blown away.

Tag Team of the Year – Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns (Shield)

I lump tag teams and groups together so no arguments here.

Most Improved – Roman Reigns (Bo Dallas)

Reigns was a popular pick but he was more along the lines of “guy who gets more focus”. I get the pick though.

Best Interviews – Paul Heyman

Why don’t I do one of these? Heyman is fine.

Most Charismatic – Hiroshi Tanahashi

Just name the awards after him already.

Best Technical Wrestler – Daniel Bryan

Even though he mainly uses strikes now?

Best Brawler – Katsuyori Shibata

Yeah whatever.

Best Flying Wrestler – Kota Ibushi

I was impressed by what I saw of him so why not.

Most Underrated – Antonio Cesaro

I’m fine with that as he deserves a far bigger push.

Promotion of the Year – New Japan

I’m as shocked as you are.

Best Weekly TV Show – NXT

Amen.

Most Outstanding Fighter – Cain Velasquez

No argument there I suppose.

Match of the Year – Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kazuchika Okada, April 7 (CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar)

Again, bow down to Japan.

Fight of the Year – Gilbert Melendez vs. Diego Sanchez

I heard good things so sure.

Rookie of the Year – Yohei Komatsu (Big E. Langston)

I’d love to know how many voters have seen more than one match from most of these guys. It would be an interesting result.

Non-Wrestler of the Year – Paul Heyman (Paul Heyman)

Yeah.

TV Announcer of the Year – William Regal

Fine again.

Major Wrestling Show of the Year – New Japan G-1 Day 4

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Best Maneuver of the Year – Okada’s Rainmaker

It’s a clothesline. Seriously, it’s a clothesline.

Best Booker – Jedo/Gedo, New Japan

Next.

Promoter of the Year – Dana White, UFC

Be careful. New Japan might not want to spoon after.

Gimmick of the Year – Wyatt Family

For the sheep mask alone.

Best Book – Mad Dogs, Midgets and Screwjobs – Pat LaParade and Bertrand Herbert

Never heard of it but it sounds interesting.

Best DVD – Jim Crocket Promotions: The Good Old Days

Heard of it, looks interesting.

Most Overrated – Randy Orton

So not only does Japan win, but it’s time to rip America.

Worst TV Announcer – Taz

Ok I’ll give him that one.

Worst Major Show – Battleground (Battleground)

Two in a row.

Most Disgusting Promotional Tactic – Exploiting Paul Bearer’s Death

I can get why people wouldn’t like it.

Worst TV Show – Impact

I’d go with Smackdown due to it not needing to exist but Impact was awful.

Worst match of the Year – 10 Diva tag, November 24 (Same)

No argument there.

Worst Feud – Big Show vs. Authority

No arguments there unless you want to go with the Divas, which I think I would have.

Worst Promotion – TNA

Again no arguments.

Worst Gimmick – Aces and 8’s

They were a gimmick still?

Interestingly enough, no ROH wins at all. As usual, New Japan is the amazing company that about 18 people in America actually while thousands claim they do and Meltzer continues to ignore WWE, which I’m sure has nothing to do with them firing him back in 1987. I mean, clearly Savage vs. Steamboat was only 4.25 stars, right Dave?

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Wrestler of the Day – January 20: Pat Patterson

Next up we have Pat Patterson, who has a nice variety of stuff.

I was hoping to talk about his match from Rio to win the Intercontinental Title but my copy of the tape doesn’t work. Instead here’s a match from Australia in 1968 against Antonio Pugliesi, who was often billed as Bruno Sammartino’s cousin.

Antonio Pugliesi vs. Pat Patterson

It’s a crisscross to start until Patterson is armdragged down a few times. Pat is the heel here I believe and stalls on the floor to prove me right. Back in and Patterson grabs a headlock but is shoved to the apron for more stalling. Patterson heads back inside and immediately runs from a charging Pugliese. They slug it out in the ring with Antonio slamming Patterson down and putting on a chinlock. Back up and Antonio hooks something that might be a relative of a hurricanrana and since this is 1968 in Australia, the fans are in awe.

We go back to normal for this era with an armbar on Patterson who pulls at the hair in a failed escaped attempt. The hold lasts nearly two minutes before Patterson fights up, only to be armdragged back into the armbar. Back up again and they trade dropkicks, only to have Patterson get caught in armbar #3. Pat fights to his feet and sends Antonio into the ropes they ram heads to put both guys down. Patterson misses a splash but avoids an elbow drop to keep both guys down again.

Antonio is sent to the floor and punches in the head a few times before dragging him back in for some ramming into the buckle. They slug it out from their knees until Antonio slugs Patterson out to the floor. He kicks Pat in the head and Patterson uses the breather to pull out a foreign object. A shot to the head has Antonio in trouble but the time runs out before we get a pin.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but the armbars make it clear that they were killing time until we got to the draw. Patterson was such a natural heel that he could have the fans ready to kill him like it was nothing. This match would be filed under “it was a very different era”, even though the stuff was similar to what you would see today.

It was off to the WWF for Patterson where he would get a world title shot on September 24, 1979 in a cage against Bob Backlund.

WWFTitle: BobBacklundvs. PatPatterson

This is from September of 79 apparently. Patterson is the IC Champion here and is a cage match expert but Backlund has never been in one. Patterson was more or less the top heel in the company by default here. They start off fast as Backlund is all fired up here. Patterson tries to get out early and that goes nowhere.

Both guys get incredibly close but can’t get all the way out. Patterson almost gets out with Backlund literally dragging him back over the top by a single leg. They keep fighting to try to get out as this is definitely more about winning than violence which is fine. We clip the match to them being on the mat and Patterson hammers away on a cut on Backlund’s head. From what I can find only about three minutes out of 16 total were clipped so we get the vast majority here.

Patterson is busted too. Vince calls the WWF Champion a gallant lad. That’s sweet. Patterson goes into the cage and Backlund goes for the kill. He winds up going into the cage though so forget about that I guess. Backlund gets the atomic drop which was one of his signature moves at the time. I guess Lombardi will have to be gentle tonight.

Patterson finds some brass knuckles and they go up. Pat can’t get a shot with them and both guys go down. And then Backlund kicks Patterson in the head and the force of the kick launches Backlund backwards through the cage door and out to the floor. Patterson FREAKS in the ring after that even though he did nothing but lose cleanly. I guess that’s why he’s a heel.

Rating: B. Very solid match here with both guys beating the tar out of each other. Backlund was at this best at the end of a feud where he had to go off to beat someone and that’s what he did here. This was either their fourth or fifth match against each other and Patterson had beaten him before. This was fun stuff though and it worked very well.

Patterson is of course most famous for being the first Intercontinental Champion so here’s a title defense from January 21, 1980.

Intercontinental Title: Pat Patterson vs. Lou Albano

Patterson goes right after him to start and Lou bails. He stays gone far longer than a ten count but is allowed back in anyway. Albano kicks Patterson in the knees and tries a foreign object which is taken away. Patterson scoops the leg and starts choking away. He chokes with some tape and Albano hits the floor. Back in Lou gets in a shot with the object but Patterson pounds him down again. Albano walks out and takes the countout.

Rating: D. This was just for fun as Patterson was still very popular and Albano was only an occasional wrestler. There wasn’t much to it and that’s just fine as it got the fans fired up despite there being like 15 minutes left in the show counting another break. Patterson is a guy who isn’t remembered as well as he should be.

This brings us to Patterson’s most famous match in the WWF: the Alley Fight against Sgt. Slaughter on May 4, 1981 in Madison Square Garden. These two had feuded for months and months and it’s time to blow it off in Meltzer’s match of the year for 1981.

Pat Patterson vs. Sgt. Slaughter

Patterson is in street clothes and the brawl is on as soon as Slaughter gets inside. A series of kicks puts Sarge down and Patterson chokes him in the corner. Slaughter misses a big right hand and hits the post, sending him to the apron. Back in and it’s time for a whipping from Patterson with Slaughter selling it like he’s been shot. Slaughter finally sends him through the ropes and onto the apron to get a breather but Pat is right back with belt shots to the back.

Sarge finally gets in a blow to the ribs and takes the belt before sending Patterson throat first into the top rope. He wraps the belt across Pat’s mouth and rips Patterson’s shirt off for good measure. More choking ensues but Pat charges at the ropes to send Slaughter out to the floor. Slaughter tries to come back in off the top but only hits the mat to put both guys down.

Patterson slams him down and drops a middle rope knee before hitting the same sequence again. He bites Slaughter’s forehead but Sarge kicks him in the gut and drops a few knees of his own to take over again. A kick to the head with the combat boot puts Patterson down again and Slaughter launches him to the floor. Back in and Pat punches at the ribs before catapulting Slaughter into the post, causing his forehead to burst open. It looks like he was stabbed to draw that much blood.

Pat goes after the cut but a low blow puts him back down. Slaughter pulls out brass knuckles but can’t see Pat after knocking him out. His face looks like Ultimate Warrior’s paint job. Patterson is back up and wins a slugout before hitting him in the head with a cowboy boot. Slaughter still has the knuckles on his hand. Another boot shot has Slaughter reeling and a third puts him down. Sarge is knocked into the post and onto the floor where he takes out a cameraman. The crowd is LOVING this. Pat just unloads with the boot until the Grand Wizard (Slaughter’s manager) throws in a towel to stop it. Sarge wanted to keep fighting.

Rating: A. Great great fight here with Slaughter’s blade job being one for the books. This was as brutal as you’re going to get for this era and the fans ate it up. One of the key things here is that Slaughter got to save face at the end with the Wizard throwing in the towel to stop it. Patterson rose up to fight the evil guy, which is what a hero is supposed to do. Great stuff here.

After that war, we’re going to do some goofy stuff for the rest of the day. First up is from the May 10, 1999 episode of Monday Night Raw when Patterson teamed up with Gerald Brisco to face the Mean Street Posse in a loser leaves the WWF match. This is old school vs. new school and respect vs. young punks and couldn’t be more fun.

The Stooges vs. Mean Street Posse

It’s Rodney and Pete Gas here. The Stooges come out to Real American and rip off their black shirts to reveal a Brisco Brothers Body Shop shirt and an IC Champ in Rio de Janeiro shirt. Both guys are in riot gear helmets as the fans aren’t sure what to make of this. Patterson is taken down on the floor but Brisco comes back with amateur stuff on the punks.

Lawler and Ross keep saying BROTHER to keep up the joke. A double clothesline puts Brisco down but Patterson saves him from a belt whipping. Brisco comes back with a suplex on Pete as Patterson crotches Rodney. Gerald hooks a Figure Four and Patterson puts on a Boston crab to wake the crowd up for the double submission to get rid of the Posse.

Rating: A+. Seriously, this is just fun.

Pat takes off his shirt to do the Hogan poses. JR gets the infamous line of “AND HE’S SINGLE FELLAS!”

We’ll close it out with a very disturbing match: Pat Patterson defending his Hardcore Title against Gerald Brisco in an evening gown match. Just go with it.

Hardcore Title: Pat Patterson vs. Gerald Brisco

This is the result of a weeks long story of Brisco pinning a sleeping Crash Holly for the title, only to have Patterson pour champagne in his eyes and blast him in the head with a bottle to steal the title. Pat wanted to keep the title so he dressed in drag to hide in the women’s locker room. Brisco found out and did the same to chase Patterson because…..well because he’s a Stooge.

Brisco comes out with a 2×4 while Patterson has a stuffed dress, a big blonde wig and a shopping cart full of pillows and teddy bears. Pat grabs the mic and says they’re friends and should Gerald should just take the title to save their friendship. Gerald goes for it but gets hit low and spanked, revealing pantyhose. Patterson shoves a banana in his face and stomps the wig off Gerald’s head.

A Stinkface is blocked with a low blow as the fans are booing this out of the building. Brisco sends him into the corner for a bronco buster and chokes him with a blonde wig. We see bras from both guys until Crash comes in and beats up both guys, including a trashcan shot to Patterson for the pin and the title. This was named worst match of the year and I can’t say I disagree. They fight up the aisle and indeed, Brisco is wearing a thong.

Rating: Y. As in yeah…..moving on.

Pat Patterson is a guy who didn’t have the best skill set but he knew how to work a crowd like few others. That’s in the same vein as Jerry Lawler and you can see how long of a career those two have had. A lot of Patterson’s best work was in the territories so unfortunately we can’t see most of it. What we got though was good and it’s clear that he had a lot of talent. Check out some of his stuff online if you can as he’s worth a look for an education in making the most of what you have.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 19: R-Truth

This was originally going to be Truth and Pat Patterson but since tomorrow’s wrestler was Ivan Putski, we’ll split them up and just go with Ron Killings today. R-Truth and Ron Killings are the same person if that’s not clear.

Truth debuted in the WWF as Road Dogg’s buddy K-Kwik. The two of them teamed up with Chyna and Billy Gunn at the 2000 Survivor Series to face the Radicalz.

Radicalz vs. Team Chyna

Chris Benoit, Perry Saturn, Dean Malenko, Eddie Guerrero

Road Dogg, Billy Gunn, K-Kwik, Chyna

Kwik is R-Truth, which is what I’ll be referring to him as more than likely. Eddie is IC Champion and Dean is Light Heavyweight Champion. I would call this Team DX but they’re not together anymore. Saturn and Gunn get things going here but it’s quickly off to Chyna for a double suplex. Chyna pounds away in the corner as we’re waiting on the Eddie vs. Chyna showdown. A powerslam gets two on Saturn and there’s the handspring elbow but Saturn catches her. A DDT puts Saturn down but everything breaks down. Eddie hits Chyna in the back with a title belt and Saturn gets the easy pin.

Roadie comes in next but gets suplexed down almost immediately. Off to Eddie who pounds away and dropkicks Dogg’s knee out. Dean comes in but it’s quickly back to Eddie for a slingshot hilo onto the knee. Eddie goes up but runs his mouth too long, allowing Roadie to superplex him down. There’s the hot tag to Billy who immediately charges into a triple team in the Radicals’ corner. Smart guy that Billy. Billy fights them off and takes over on Eddie with a gorilla press and the One and Only (sleeper drop) for the pin and elimination.

Off to Dean vs. Truth with the latter flipping out of a hip toss. Truth tries a Downward Spiral but Dean falls backwards instead. Eh they screwed that one up. Off to Benoit who wants nothing to do with the hipping and the hopping so he Germans the tar out of Truth for the pin to make it 3-2. Off to Saturn vs. Road Dogg with the former taking over. Dean suplexes Dogg down for two and it’s back to Saturn for a northern lights suplex to get us down to Saturn/Benoit/Malenko vs. Billy.

Billy gets to fight Dean first with the Radicals taking over quickly. Benoit low bridges Billy but Saturn accidentally superkicks Benoit on the floor. Back in the ring Dean ducks his head and the Fameasser makes it 2-1. A Jackhammer gets two on Saturn as Benoit makes the save. Benoit hits the Swan Dive for two and the Wolverine is shocked on the kickout. Benoit is sent to the apron and Gunn tries to suplex him back in, only for the Warrior/Rude ending with Saturn tripping Billy and holding his foot for the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine but it never got to be anything interesting. Truth never worked in the WWF in his original run and the whole tandem rapping thing with Road Dogg didn’t work at all. Gunn was into that awkward singles stage of his which never worked the way the company wanted it to. Not bad here but it was nothing better than fine.

Even though he was around for over a year and a half after that, Truth would do almost nothing else in the WWF. After a year of Heat matches and little more, it was off to the upstart TNA, where Truth (as Ron Killings), would get an NWA World Title shot at the 8th weekly PPV. Truth was on a “I’m black and being held down” kick and somehow became one of the most popular guys in the company as a result.

NWA World Title: Ken Shamrock vs. Ron Killings

Steamboat jumps in on commentary. Shamrock (defending) grabs a leglock almost immediately but Truth fights up. Ken almost falls over trying a kick to the face and then puts on an armbar. Ricky talks about why he gave Truth the match. He talks about how he was IC Champion but didn’t get a title shot at Hogan. In this case, the real story would be better: he didn’t get a title shot at Hogan, but then he went to the NWA and they gave him the opportunity. Instead they took a shot at the WWF but that’s more important right?

Truth snapmares him down and puts on a chinlock. That doesn’t last long so Truth hits a spinning forearm for two. Shamrock messes up a sunset flip as Steamboat talks about going sixty minutes a lot of the time. Truth pounds away in the corner but gets caught in a powerbomb to counter. Ken comes back with a powerslam but he’s looking haggard already.

Another kick takes Truth down and Shamrock is all fired up. He tries the standing rana but it looks like he’s going in slow motion. There’s the ankle lock but Truth gets to a rope quickly. The New Church is watching from the stage as we head to the outside. Monty Brown is on the stage too. Truth suplexes him on the floor and they head back in with Shamrock taking over almost immediately.

The champ pounds away and hooks a cross armbreaker. Truth slaps Shamrock’s knee which looks a lot like tapping out. Shamrock lets the hold go for no apparent reason and is getting ticked off. Truth gets thrown to the floor and here’s the interference. We’ve got Apolo attacking Truth, the New Church attacking Shamrock, and Don Harris and Monty Brown attacking the New Church. Apolo fires a superkick but misses Truth and COMPLETELY misses Shamrock, but Ken sells it anyway. That was embarrassing. Steamboat throws Shamrock back in and a Diamond Cutter gives Truth the title.

Rating: D. Changing the title here was a good idea as Shamrock looked horrible. In a less than ten minute match he botched at least four moves. That’s not acceptable for a world champion, especially in a company that is brand new like this. Steamboat didn’t really add anything here but it was a good idea to have Truth win the title, as he’s involved with the main storylines. Shamrock wouldn’t have another match with the company until 2004.

Truth would hold the title for a few weeks before hooking up with Konnan and BG James in 2003 as the 3 Live Kru. They would hold the tag titles a few times and get involved in some main event feuds. Killing was in a six man tag at Victory Road 2004, though not with the Kru.

Ron Killings/Erik Watts/Johnny B. Badd/Pat Kenney vs. Dallas/Kid Kash/Naturals

Oh look MORE people in the same match. Could this get any worse? Why would you sign Mero at this point? Seriously, why? Dallas is now known as Vance Archer and Killings is RTruth in case you didnt know. This is just what you would expect it to be: bad wrestling but overhyped by West and Tenay. Badd is said to be a legend. Even in his own mind I dont think hes that dumb.

 

To the shock of no one, this turns into a big brawl. They do the random people jump into the ring and get knocked out again spots as this has no flow to it at all. Badd hits a hurricanrana to set up something resembling a Pedigree from Truth for the pin. Badd was gone in a few months as was Watts. Kenney (Simon Diamond for you ECW guys) was seen once in awhile I think.

Rating: D+. There was just no point to this at all. It was all over the place and had no flow to it. This makes 28 wrestlers in two matches. Do you think that’s enough? It’s complete overkill at this point and is just insane. The match was nothing to see either and that’s a bad way to start a major show.

Here’s a match with the 3 Live Kru as a unit against the six man jobbers known as the Diamonds in the Rough from Unbreakable.

3 Live Kru vs. Diamonds in the Rough

The Diamonds are Simon Diamond, Elix Skipper and David Young. After Konnan does his usual schtick, Elix and BG start things off. This was the same pairing that started off the match at the previous PPV I did. Elix uses his speed to control early but BG comes back with the same moveset he’s been using for years. Young tries to come in and gets double teamed by Killings and James. Back to Skipper and the Diamonds get in some triple team action on the former Road Dogg. Seriously, that’s what they call him quite a few times. BG escapes, hot tags Konnan, a shoe is thrown and the X-Factor pins Young. Seriously, that’s it.

Rating: D. What in the world was the point of this? It was like four minutes long and the match sucked. This was a horrible choice for an opener but I guess the fans are happy with the ending. The Diamonds were a really weak mini stable and I don’t think anyone ever cared about them in any way, shape or form. Really bad choice to start the show here.

Once the Kru broke up, Killings would go back to the world title scene and take part in the King of the Mountain match at Slammiversary 2006.

NWA World Title: Christian Cage vs. Ron Killings vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting vs. Abyss

King of the Mountain, which has some complicated rules. It’s a reverse ladder match, meaning you have to hang the title above the ring to win it. However to be eligible to do that, you have to gain a fall over someone else. If you pin or submit someone, they go to the penalty box for two minutes. After the big match intros we’re ready to go.

Big brawl to start with only Truth and Jarrett left in the ring. Christian gets back in and dances with Truth for some reason, getting himself punched in the face for his efforts. It’s Christian vs. Jarrett in the ring at the moment but they quickly go to the floor with the Canadian diving onto Jeff. The other three go into the ring and Abyss’ double chokeslam attempt is broken up.

Truth knocks Abyss to the floor and hits a huge dive to take everyone down. Sting goes tot he top of the penalty box and dives on all of them because he’s just that awesome. Sting vs. Jarrett in the ring now and Jarrett gets hit with the splash, followed by a missile dropkick from Truth, who gets the pin. Sting stood back and let him get the pin. Truth is now eligible and Jarrett is in the box for two minutes.

There are two tables set up next to the box. Truth tries to bring in a ladder but Christian launches it into his face for a two count. Abyss gets into the ring and sets for a gorilla press on Christian but Cage slips down the back and rolls Abyss up to become eligible as well. Jarrett gets out about two seconds after Abyss goes in so we’ve got four active people now with Christian and Truth both eligible.

Truth gets slammed by Sting and Jarrett crushes Christian with the ladder on the floor. Something that might have been the Death Drop on Truth gets two and Abyss is freed. He throws Christian into the barricade and now there are four tables in a 2×2 stack on the floor. Everyone but Christian is in the ring now with the good guys taking over. Sting and Abyss knock each other to the floor and Jarrett Strokes Truth off the apron into the barricade for the pin to become eligible.

The four people left fight into the crowd and Sting cracks Abyss with a chair to the head and then does it again. Christian tries to throw Jeff over the end of the balcony but Jeff fights back to prevent death. Sting throws Abyss into a wall as Christian and Jeff are back at ringside. Abyss throws Sting into the same wall as earlier and Truth is out of the box. There’s no one near him so…let’s look at the crowd.

Killings grabs the ladder and goes up but he takes forever but Abyss makes the save. Everyone is in the ring now and Jarrett/Abyss beat on everyone else with a ladder. Truth gets launched to the floor but Sting and Christian dropkick the ladder into the evil ones. Christian crushes Jarrett between the ladder but Abyss makes the save, sending both guys out to the floor in the process.

Truth goes up again but Abyss shoves him off again. The ladder swings back and falls on Hebner so there’s no referee. Jarrett goes for the title but Abyss objects and hits the Black Hole Slam. A second referee comes out to count the pin, meaning only Sting isn’t eligible. In a TERRIBLY contrived spot, Abyss sets the ladder next to the ropes, only for Sting to shove him through the four tables.

Christian and Sting stare each other down and they slug it out. A Stinger Splash hits and he puts on the Scorpion but Jarrett comes out of the box early. He hits Sting with the belt and loads up the guitar shot, only for Christian to steal the guitar. The Death Drop puts Jarrett down and he puts the Scorpion on Jarrett, telling Sting to go up. Larry Z hits Christian low and gets drilled by Sting.

Another Death Drop puts Jarrett back down but there’s no referee to count. Sting does the Austin thing and slaps the mat three times with Hebner’s hand. Sting goes up but Christian stops him. EARL HEBNER shoves the ladder over as Jarrett goes up and hangs the belt (he never went into the box) to win in a Montreal angle. Larry even gets Earl out of there to complete the stupidity.

Rating: B. Other than the STUPID ending, I liked it. Montreal is easily the most controversial moment in wrestling history and is probably the most famous ending to a show ever. I personally hate it because we’re nearly FIFTEEN YEARS LATER and I still have to sit through reenactments of it. The match was pretty fun, but Jarrett winning was just a way to set up Sting vs. Jarrett again.

Here’s a rarity that you’ve probably never seen before. In case you’re not familiar with lucha libre, AAA’s biggest show of the year is called Triplemania and features a lot of big stars making appearances. Here’s an eight man tag from 2007’s Triplemania XV.

Ron Killings/Head Hunter A/Sabu/Rikishi vs. The Animal/Latin Lover/La Parka/El Zorro

A few explanations here. Killings’ team is part of La Legion Extranjera (Foreign Legion), a catch all name for foreign heels brought in with the story of Konnan having his friends help him destroy TNA. This is La Parka II, meaning not the same guy that you know from WCW though it’s the same gimmick. This is also the only match I can find for The Animal. AAA also uses the six sided ring. Each guy gets his own entrance so we’re ready to go after about fifteen minutes of music, walking to the ring and intros by the ring announcer.

Sabu does his point in the air and La Parka tries to see what he’s looking at in an amusing bit. We spend awhile picking who starts with La Parka until it’s finally Sabu. They hit the mat with Sabu grabbing an armbar as we cut to a shot of the crowd for some reason. Off to Rikishi who is WAY fatter than he was in WWE.

We get a dance off until Rikishi pounds him into the corner and it’s off to Latin Lover vs. Headhunter. The much larger Headhunter takes him down with a clothesline and get two off a splash before getting caught by a running clothesline to send him outside. That’s as good as a tag in lucha libre so Truth comes in with some fast shots of his own. A double clothesline puts both guys down before Latin Lover scores with an enziguri. Off to Sabu who eats a superkick before it’s time for Animal vs. Rikishi.

Animal tries a sunset flip and has to avoid the falling fat before it’s off to Zorro and a big pop. He calls out and gets Killings, who immediately decks Zorro in the face for two. La Parak gets a tag but the referee doesn’t see it so Zorro is playing Ricky Morton. The fans get on Truth as he bars Zorro’s arm before it’s off to Rikishi. Seriously the guy’s fat must have its own gravitational pull. The fat guy does nothing at all before bringing in Headhunter who gets two off a legdrop.

Back to Sabu for a camel clutch followed by a splash from Headhunter. The Foreign Legion is tagging in and out very fast. Rikishi misses the running backsplash in the corner and a hot tag brings in La Parka as everything breaks down. Latin Lover and La Parka backdrop the 350lb Headhunter and the Foreign Legion is in trouble. Killings comes back with a quick ax kick to Latin Lover but some guy who might be Joe Lider (my Spanish is only conversational so I can’t quite make out the commentary) comes in and lays Killings out.

It’s down to Zorro vs. Rikishi with the fat man taking over. The Banzai Drop hits knees though and it’s back to La Parka who goes OFF on Killings with right hands. Konnan sneaks in with a big right hand (presumably loaded) to knock Zorro out cold, allowing Rikishi to flip off the crowd and sit on Zorro’s chest for the pin.

Rating: D+. Me not knowing the story aside, this was a dull tag match. The biggest part was spent on Zorro and La Parka playing technicos in peril but it wasn’t anything we haven’t seen before. Rikishi was just massive here and it took away from Headhunter who was smaller and faster than the Samoan. Nothing good here and the ending went on too long.

This brings us to one of the worst ideas in wrestling history. Back in 2006/2007, a football player named Adam Pacman Jones got arrested. A lot. One of his incidents involved a part time wrestler being shot (Jones was never accused of being the shooter) and paralyzed from the waist down. Since TNA is TNA, they decided not only to bring Jones in, but to give him a Tag Team Title match to prove he was a “team player” at No Surrender 2007.

Tag Titles: Team Pacman vs. Sting/Kurt Angle

Oh that’s right: Sting won a match to be get a title. What a concept. Team Pacman is R-Truth (Ron The Truth Killings) and Adam “Pacman” Jones. He was a guy that was arrested like 13 times and was involved in a shooting where a part time pro wrestler was paralyzed outside a club. Naturally TNA saw his suspension from the NFL as a great ratings grab so they signed him. Yeah it didn’t go well.

Angle has a shirt on that says Tap or Snap, making me think of Daniel Bryan’s first promo. Shocking no one, Truth starts us off here for his team against Sting. He and Angle are a dream team apparently. Pacman won’t come in so more or less this is a handicap match. Off to Angle now as it occurs to me the football intro was about him. Why do I have a bad feeling he’s going to pin Sting or Angle? Pacman drops to the floor again and gets chased by Angle.

Back in the ring Truth gets a chinlock which Mike calls a sleeper hold. Karen, still Kurt’s wife here, comes to ringside. Sting can’t stand her so that’s an issue with the champions. She slaps Sting who…doesn’t shove her. He motions for her to go to the back and she throws herself down. Hey look the fans have a chant about it. Death Drop gets two on Truth. Sting hits the splash on Truth who falls onto Pacman for the tag. Angle hits the Slam on Sting and of course Pacman pins him for the titles. Screw you TNA, screw you to death.

Rating: D. The match was bad on top of all that. This was really just an angle with a match as a badkdrop. At the end of the day though, Pacman Jones, a guy that is more or less responsible for a man being paralyzed, has pinned Sting to win a championship in TNA. Celebrities in wrestling are fine, but know how to use them for the love of all things good and made of gouda.

 

Thankfully this only lasted a few months and Killings was in the WWE as R-Truth the following August. He would face Shelton Benjamin on the September 19, 2008 episode of Smackdown.

Shelton Benjamin vs. R-Truth

Shelton is US Champion but this is non-title. Truth only debuted two weeks before this. Shelton takes him to the mat but Truth makes the rope. The spinning forearm puts Shelton down and Truth stomps away in the corner. Shelton gets in a single shot but Truth will have none of it, hitting a side kick for two. Shelton hits the T-Bone Exploder but doesn’t cover.

There’s a backbreaker and Shelton bends Truth over his knee to stay on it. He whips Truth into the corner before hooking a chinlock with a knee in the back. Truth comes back with some right hands and they botch a drop toehold. Back to the chinlock which is turned into a sleeper, but Truth comes back with a jawbreaker. Shelton tries a German but gets victory rolled into the pin.

Rating: C-. Nothing to see here again as Truth was too new to mean much other than his rapping stuff. Shelton was just worthless at this point with all of the Gold Standard nonsense as he looked stupid and slowed WAY down, taking away the majority of the appeal he had. The match was just ok.

Truth would do nothing of note for the better part of two years before Ted DiBiase Jr. asked Truth to be his Virgil, leading to a match at Over the Limit 2010. This wasn’t an important feud or anything but I needed something to bridge the gap.

Ted DiBiase vs. R-Truth

Truth’s entrance is awesome. I’m not a fan of him but I have to give him that one. The real Virgil is here with him instead. You can’t beat that for old school guys. Striker says rich people are better. Amen to that brother man. We even get a Virgil chant. WOW. Cole says that DiBiase paid a couple of guys a few weeks ago to take out R-Truth. One was Carlito. That’s rather amusing.

We get a Harley Race impression from about 1983 and the bounty to take out Flair. I love obscure references like that. Truth busts out a Downward Spiral. I hate that move. Virgil looks more or less exactly the same as he used to. That’s either really impressive or bad. This is really sloppy. Truth…kind of hits the Lie Detector (spinning forearm) for the clean pin. That was bad. Virgil gets the Million Dollar Belt and tries to wake up DiBiase, despite the forearm grazing him at best.

Rating: D. Not very good and just SLOPPY. The stuff came off as weak looking and just all over the place. I didn’t like what I was seeing and the Truth pin just came off as from out of nowhere, which isn’t bad I guess. When all else fails, have the black guys be nothing but muscle since they’re all interchangeable right Vince?

Truth soon got the biggest push of his career after losing his mind. He talked about a c-o-n-spiracy, ranted about ladders and spiders, and thought imaginary children named Little Jimmy were laughing at him. Somehow this got him a title match at Capital Punishment against John Cena.

Raw World Title: R-Truth vs. John Cena

 

Truth has the belt but Cena is champion.  As scary as it is, I could see Truth getting the title here.  Big match intros set up a mixed reaction for Cena as always.  Feeling out process to start but Truth gets in a shot to take over.  Cena sends him to the floor and we stall a bit.  AA doesn’t work and Truth hits a sitout gordbuster to get two.  The dueling chants keep going as Truth gets a kick in for two.

Truth does a You Can’t See Me knockoff which ended in a legdrop for two.  Spinning forearm gets two.  Cena pulls himself up using Truth’s body.  Truth says Cena can’t see him.  This is kind of a slow paced match as Truth’s offense isn’t all that great.  Big hip toss gets two.  Lawler thinks Cena hasn’t taken Truth seriously enough.  Cena gets up but can’t get the STF, only to get kicked down again by Truth.

Suplex gets two.  This is a pretty dull match actually.  Cena starts his comeback with the shoulder blocks.  Five Knuckle Shuffle hits but Truth escapes the AA and hits the suplex into the Stunner “which we’ve NEVER seen before!”  Truth talks to himself a lot but misses a charge in the corner and there’s the STF.  Truth grabs the rope rather quickly though and the axe kick hits out of nowhere for two.  Cena was out fast.

Truth goes up for a cross body but Cena rolls through into the AA attempt.  Truth counters that into the jumping Downward Spiral for two.  Cena hits the floor which would seem to set up something fishy.  Truth goes out to the other side and is looking all crazy.  He steals a hat from a Cena fan and gets a drink of water.  The fan throws the water in Truth’s face!  The distraction is enough for Cena to pull him in and hit the AA to retain!

Rating: D+. Pretty dull match here overall and I wasn’t into it for the most part.  It’s not horrible but it’s just not interesting.  The water going into his face is kind of a nice touch given that Truth did that to a kid on Raw a few weeks ago but at the same time it really wasn’t anything interesting.  Total B show PPV match here and I can’t imagine it’ll go any further, not after Cena beat him clean.

 

Truth would eventually join up with Miz as Awesome Truth and get beaten up by The Rock and John Cena. He would then regain his sanity, win another meaningless set of tag titles with Kofi Kingston, including this title defense at Over the Limit 2012.

Tag Titles: Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs. R-Truth/Kofi Kingston

Kofi and Swagger get us going. Jack takes it to the mat but opts for a standing top wristlock instead. Not much happens so it’s off to Truth for a double hiptoss. Spinning legdrop gets two. Ziggler comes in but Kofi gets a blind tag and a springboard missile dropkick for two. Swagger gets in a shot from the apron and a tag to take over. He works on the arm some more and it’s off to Truth who speeds things up.

Vickie distracts the referee which results in Dolph getting his head kicked off. Swagger puts Truth down and hits the Vader Bomb for two. Ziggler comes back in with a Crossface of all things as King is talking about Vickie’s navel. Cole: “If you two were as good at commentating as you were at looking at Vickie you’d be in the Hall of Fame.” King: “I already am.” That was funny for some reason.

Swagger takes Truth down but Truth comes back with a flurry of punches. They don’t get him anywhere as Ziggler comes in for a double team, getting two. Dolph does the handstands on the chinlock which is impressive. Back to Jack who takes Truth into the corner but gets caught by a tornado DDT to put both guys down. Double tag brings in Kofi and Dolph and an SOS gets two. Springboard cross body gets two as Jack makes the save. As Kofi is coming back in he gets caught by a Fameasser for two. Truth dives onto Swagger and Dolph jumps with a Stinger Splash, right into Trouble in Paradise to retain at 12:28.

Rating: B. That’s probably high but I was enjoying this match. Kofi and Dolph have some awesome chemistry together and it worked very well here. They’re clearly building to a big rematch with the Colons, if you can call that big of course. Pretty good match here and I was really liking it by the end.

We’ll wrap things up with a quick match to send Truth out on a win. From the April 22, 2013 Raw.

R-Truth vs. Antonio Cesaro

Cole shouts WHAT’S UP and kind of dances during the entrance. Cesaro yodels as his humiliating depush continues. Cesaro takes over to start with a forearm to the back of the head and a hard clothesline. The fans start an OLE chant as Cesaro hits a double stomp for two. Truth blocks a kick to the ribs and gets two off a front suplex. Little Jimmy hits a second later for the pin on Antonio at 2:19.

Ron Killings is an entertaining guy but he’s not much more than an upper midcard guy. He’s had a few splashes in the world title scene but he’s never belonged there full time. The rapping his own theme is a good gimmick as it’s always going to get the crowd going but Truth has always been better on the mic than in the ring.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 18: Batista

We continue our January 18 double feature with the Animal himself: Batista.

Batista got his start in OVW as Leviathan, the enforcer for a goth/cult stable. Since there’s a chance it’s happening at Wrestlemania, here’s a potential preview from OVW in September of 2001.

Leviathan vs. Brock Lesnar

Lesnar is listed at 246lbs while Batista is listed at 333. The TV commentators say that’s about five pounds between them. They shove each other around to start until Brock gets caught in a belly to back suplex. Brock comes right back with a slam, only to walk into a spinebuster. Batista pounds away in the corner but every shot has a ton of force behind it. Lesnar rebounds out of the corner with a cross body (seriously) for two but Batista stomps him back down in the corner.

A Cena ProtoBomb gets two on Brock and we hit the chinlock. Brock’s latest comeback attempt is countered with a DDT and it’s back to the same hold. Lesnar fights up and sends Batista into the corner to escape before hitting Chris Sabin’s Cradle Shock for two, only to have Batista’s manager Sinn hairspray Lesnar in the eyes. A spear from Batista is good for the pin.

Rating: D+. This is more of a historical interest than a good match. Batista was still doing the really basic power brawling here and Lesnar was a face at this point. Then again this is OVW so it’s not like they were doing this stuff on the main roste.r Both guys would be in the WWF in less than nine months.

Batista would debut on Smackdown in June of 2002 as Reverend D-Von’s deacon. When people realized that was going nowhere, it was off to Raw where he fought Rob Van Dam on December 9, 2002.

Batista vs. Rob Van Dam

Batista has Ric Flair mentoring him at this point. Rob gets shoved down to start and a big clothesline drops him again. Another clothesline gets two as it’s all Big Dave so far. Rob scores with some quick kicks and Rolling Thunder for two, followed by the top rope kick to the chest. Flair breaks up the Five Star and Van Dam gets slammed down. Batista loads up the Bomb but Kane (Batista’s opponent on Sunday) runs in for the DQ. Too short to rate but it was basically a Batista squash.

A triceps injury would put Batista out for most of 2003 but he would return in the fall, eventually facing Shawn Michaels at Armageddon 2003.

Shawn Michaels vs. Batista

Batista hadnt been back long after a triceps injury so this is one of his first major singles feuds. This is Shawns 68th PPV match. Thats a pretty awesome number, especially when this is Batistas third match on PPV. Flair is with Batista here again. Shawn snaps off some punches in the corner which dont do much damage but theyre something I guess. More of them land and Batista is getting annoyed.

 

Shawn fires some kicks into the leg and tags Ric on the floor. Back in the ring Batista gets his hands on Shawn and the pain begins. Suplex gets two. Big Dave works on the back which is still the focal point of Shawn every time hes out there. Theres the forearm but Batista kills him with a clothesline after the nip up. To the floor we go and Shawn eats steps.

 

More back worth by Dave, this time in the form of a backbreaker. Shawn starts his comeback with a bunch of strikes and theres a second forearm/nip up. A two handed choke by Batista is countered into a DDT to put both guys down. The big elbow hits and the fans are into it all of a sudden. Chin music is countered into a spinebuster though and theres a second one. Batista Bomb is countered out of nowhere and Shawn hits the kick, falling on top for the pin.

 

Rating: B-. Not terrible but I wasn’t feeling the ending. I get the theory of it, which is Shawn can’t go toe to toe with him and needs to use his experience to get that one big shot in to take Batista down, but that doesn’t mean it worked. Not a bad match but Batista was still getting the hang of things and it showed. Shawn helped him through a lot of this, and that’s the point of a veteran.

Batista spent most of 2004 in tag team matches with other members of Evolution while not having the best of luck in singles matches. 2005 would be the start of something big though and Batista opened the year with a match against Chris Benoit on the January 3 episode of Monday Night Raw.

Batista vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit gets shoved down to the mat and then into the corner for some knees to the ribs. That’s all fine with Benoit though as he grabs a dragon screw legwhip to put Batista down. Batista shrugs it off and hits a backbreaker but goes to unhook a buckle pad. Chris grabs some Rolling Germans to set up the Swan Dive but Batista rolls away before he can jump. Back in and Chris gets crotched on top, setting up a MuscleBuster of all things for two.

Off to a half crab on Benoit who grabs Benoit’s hand and makes it slap the mat in a funny bit. A spinebuster gets a pair of two counts on Benoit but he comes back with an enziguri to put both guys down. Another German suplex sets up the Swan Dive for two and Chris goes after the knee. That goes nowhere so he puts on a bad looking Crossface. Batista easily stands up and rams Benoit over and over into the exposed buckle. The Batista Bomb easily ends Benoit.

Rating: C-. This was another glorified squash as Benoit’s best hold was easily broken and countered. Batista was about to be unleashed on the top of the company and he wouldn’t look back for several years. He would be the hottest thing in WWE in just a few weeks and this was a big step in the right direction.

Next up for Batista was a win in the Royal Rumble followed by taking the World Heavyweight Championship at Wrestlemania from HHH. He would defend the title against HHH at Backlash and then complete the trilogy inside the Cell at Backlash 2005.

Raw World Title (World): Batista vs. HHH

Apparently the Cell is now the Devil’s Duplex. Seriously, what is JR on because I want some of it. Also it’s now a sentient being as it has something like emotions I guess. The Cell is still half up as Batista’s music hits. I didn’t realize he had I Walk Alone this early but apparently he did. He also had the gun pyro which is rather cool. He’s also embarking on his maiden voyage inside Hell in a Cell. Is he a boar captain all of a sudden? You can never accuse JR of using basic language.

The Cell being lowered really is a cool moment as you know you’re about to see some violence. Lawler says there is no way out. Today that would likely get him yelled at by Vince for bringing up memories of a defunct show. Why is he so paranoid about so many things? Batista is in the white tights here so you know he’s serious. They point out how fairly stupid it is to give HHH back to back shots by more or less saying this is the last chance for him.

HHH goes to the arm by sending it into the post. That’s smart I guess as it’s hard to Batista Bomb someone with one arm, although you would think the leg would be smarter. Then again he married Stephanie so he’s smarter than we are. And now HHH gets a tool box. This cannot turn into another Home Improvement match like it was vs. Nash. Well if nothing else Batista is better than Nash so I can live with that.

There’s a big chain, which at least is something that I guess you could understand having in a tool box assuming you could use it to secure something or to get a grip on something. I should host a tool show. Batista manages to survive about a minute of being choked by a chain which is being pulled by a 6’4 270lb man. What? You don’t see how that makes sense?

I love fans that encourage violence that could potentially kill a man. Well to be fair HHH is supposed to anger the fans so he’s getting that right. Batista hits four spinebusters on the floor. Not really as he just rammed HHH into the post but whatever Ross says goes I guess. HHH mimics Flair and is busted open. The white boots are working for Big Dave. HHH hits a real spinebuster to get us back to even.

He gets a barbed wire steel chair from under the ring which is there to cover any and all of their barbed wire steel chair needs. Batista takes a SICK shot of it to the back. I know it’s rubbed tipped or fixed to an extent, but DANG it looked great. The face of Batista more or less says a combination of OH DANG IT, OW and MAN I COULD GO FOR A POPSICLE. He gets the chair and DRILLS HHH in the head with it. That sounded and looked great.

I love the raking of a person’s face into the cage. That just looks awesome every time they do it and it never gets old. It’s ALL Batista at this point. HHH takes a powerslam onto the barbed wire. Ok so it landed on his legs but whatever. I guess those Buns of Steel videos helped a lot there. HHH counters with a DDT onto it as this is getting very good. Both guys are bleeding now. See, this is a great example of using blood to make a match better.

Instead of just randomly bleeding in every match, this has been a brutal fight that has built up to this moment and it feels epic. Rather than having blood in every match where it becomes clichéd, the blood here is a sight that makes you think about how brutal this is. A sledgehammer shot to the face gets two as we’ve reached epic. Batista kicks out of a punch wrapped in chain to a HUGE pop.

A lot of people that that was it apparently and I can’t say I blame them. In a cool spot right after that, HHH jumps at Batista with the chain but Batista holds up the hammer so that it slams into HHH’s jaw/throat. He stands there for about 8 seconds before just collapsing. I love that visual. Dang HHH got thrown over the corner. After this long of a match I’m surprised he can take a bump like that. Batista busts out some steps and gets them in the ring with HHH down.

HHH is just getting destroyed here as Batista is just in a zone here. Batista Bomb is countered with a low blow and the Pedigree for a LONG two. The steps are set up in the middle of the ring and Batista is in trouble. Pedigree is blocked into a spinebuster onto the steps and a Batista Bomb for the pin.

In a nice move, HHH picked up the hammer but gets dropped before he can hit it. When he’s pinned it’s still in his hand which is like the scene that ends a movie, or in this case a great match. HHH would be gone four months for this as Cena became top dog on Raw. I’m sure HHH’s diminishes spotlight had nothing to do with his absence at all.

Rating: A. This was a WAR. This is what Hell in a Cell is supposed to be like: two guys that absolutely cannot stand each other beating the tar out of the other person for a single prize. The blood was great, the violence was great, and both guys were great. See this match for sure as it’s awesome and I’m pretty sure it’s on the Hell in a Cell DVD. Great match and it made Batista look unstoppable.

Batista would dominate the title scene for the rest of the year, even after being moved to Smackdown. He would crush JBL in a three match series before having a quick feud with Eddie Guerrero which was cut short by Guerrero passing away. Batista would get injured again in early 2006 and have to forefit the title. He would come back in the summer and chase the title again, but first he would challenge Big Show for the ECW Title on the August 1, 2006 episode of ECW on Sci-Fi.

ECW World Title: Big Show vs. Batista

Batista’s reaction is pretty mixed. There are definitely cheers though. The fans want RVD but they get a muscle head from the WWE isntead. Then the music stops and Batista gets on the ropes where the people just rip into him. They do the big match intros and Batista is loudly booed. Then again they’re not that thrilled with Big Show either. We get a loud YOU BOTH SUCK and it’s off. They fight over a power advantage to start as Joey and Tazz have to ignore the fans.

Batista escapes an arm hold and pounds Show down to the floor as we take a break. Back with Show in control as the fans are ranting about the match again. Show flips them all off and the announcers have to ignore them again. Chokeslam is broken up but Show clotheslines him down. There’s what sounds like a boring chant. Now it’s CHANGE THE CHANNEL. Show slams him down but his Vader Bomb is broken up by Big Dave. A superplex puts both guys down.

Big Dave avoids a charge and hits his shoulders in the corner. Some clotheslines don’t do much so he spears Show down for two. Now the chant is BORING. Chokeslam out of nowhere gets two. Show grabs the belt but walks into the spinebuster. The Bomb is countered into the Final Cut for two. And never mind as the belt shot draws the LAME DQ.

Rating: D+. The problem here is the crowd. The match itself wasn’t that bad. It was your standard main event power match and could have been a watchable match on TV or PPV with few complaints being made. Well ok everyone would complain about the bad ending but the rest of the match was fine. That being said, the fans flat out did not want to see this at all and they were very vocal about it. Not the wrestlers’ fault though.

Batista would take the title back from King Booker at Survivor Series to reestablish his dominance. This would lead to a match on the December 22, 2006 episode of Smackdown. I think the participants speak for themselves.

Batista vs. Santa Claus

Santa interrupts Batista’s promo and Big Dave doesn’t seem happy. After throwing out some t-shirts and DVDs to the fans, Santa gives Batista some candy canes to toss out, only to blast him with a pipe. Santa goes to leave but Teddy Long makes a match between the two of them right now. Batista pounds away but Santa goes after the bad arm. The arm work goes nowhere as Batista drives him into the corner and clotheslines Santa down. Santa loses his hat and beard to reveal Sylvain Grenier, who is Batista Bombed and pinned with ease.

After that amusing match, it was off to something a bit more serious: the Undertaker. The title match was at Wrestlemania so you know what happened. Here’s the rematch in a last man standing match at Backlash 2007.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Undertaker

Undertaker is defending here. Apparently he’s never lost a last man standing match. I wouldn’t have guessed that. He also might have a bad right arm coming into this. The chokeslam is broken up but the flying clothesline takes Batista down. Old School hits and Batista is in trouble early. Big Dave comes back with something called a powerslam for about four.

Out to the floor and Batista sends him into the barricade to take over. Scratch that as he gets sent into the steps, but Taker’s arm isn’t holding up that well. Batista has a bunch of tape on his leg so Taker has a target as well, making the arm not as much of a handicap. Taker puts him on the apron and drops the leg for a five count or so. Now Undertaker gets sent into the steps but no one can follow up.

They head back into the ring with Batista going up, only to get dropped by an uppercut. A superplex puts Batista down but Undertaker can’t get up either. Batista gets a seven count and they slug it out. A big clothesline puts Taker down for eight, followed by a slam and legdrop from Batista for about six. Taker sends him out to the floor and starts setting up the announce table. Batista avoids the pain though by sending Undertaker into the barricade.

Big Dave sets for a powerslam through the announce table but gets caught in a Russian legsweep, sending him into the barricade for about seven. Undertaker hits him in the face with the steps and Batista barely makes it to his feet. It’s table time with Batista being placed on the table as Undertaker walks the barricade for a legdrop through Batista and the table. That looked pretty awesome but it only gets nine. Something, probably the steps, busted Batista open.

They head back in and Batista hits a spear out of nowhere, getting an eight. Batista snaps and hits three spinebusters but that gets nine as well. The Bomb is countered and Undertaker hits a chokeslam to put both guys down but Batista is up at nine to keep things going. Taker channels his inner idiot and pounds away in the corner, and he deserves the Batista Bomb that he gets.

That still doesn’t end it so Batista cracks him with a chair. Taker backdrops him onto the chair, followed by the Tombstone which STILL only gets nine. The look on Taker’s face is great. They head back to the floor and Taker punches him up the ramp. Batista pounds away at him but the Bomb attempt is countered. Taker tries to throw him off the stage but Batista escapes and spears him off the stage into the electrical equipment, causing an explosion. The match ends in a draw as no one can get up in time.

Rating: B. The ending was a cop out and got booed out of the building, but the rest of it was pretty good. It wasn’t a masterpiece or anything and it really became a rehash of the match at Mania, although with a counting system instead of pins or submissions. Still though it was entertaining and felt like a big time match. They would have even more matches that were good too, so this was a good second match in the series.

Edge would take the title from Undertaker by cashing in Money in the Bank and spend most of the year feuding with Batista over the title. Batista wouldn’t be able to take it from him until Edge was injured and vacated the title. Great Khali won the belt in a battle royal but drop it to Batista at Unforgiven in a three way. Here’s another rematch from No Mercy 2007 inside the Punjabi Prison. Yeah it’s a stupid match but it was so over the top that it was fun.

Smackdown World Title: Batista vs. Great Khali

Batista is defending and this is inside the Punjabi Prison. Ok so there’s a big round cage around the ring that goes down to the floor. It comes up to a circle at the top with sharp sticks on top. There’s another cage (all made of bamboo mind you) with four gates on it. You can request to open one at any time and at that point you have sixty seconds to go through it. If you don’t get out, it’s closed and that gate can’t be used again. You have to get out of both cages to win. It’s WAY too complicated which is why there were only two of these matches ever.

Batista gets in a quick shot to knock Khali into the ropes and tie him up. He hammers away instead of leaving like an intelligent person would. Well he’s an animal so maybe that explains it. Khali comes back with a chop to the head and opens a gate, but Batista stops him enough for the clock to go down. The Plunge is countered but Khali kicks him down. Leg drop misses and Batista spears him down.

The second gate is opened but Khali grabs the leg. He chokes him against the cage until the clock runs out and the door is shut. Khali pulls a rope off the wall of the cage to tie Batista to the cage. There’s a strap attached to the cage for some reason so Khali pulls it down and it’s whipping time. Batista wasn’t tied up so I guess it was just choking. The third gate is opened but Khali walks into a spinebuster. Big Dave goes for the door but Khali stops him again, leaving us with only one door.

Batista grabs the strap and gives Khali a beating. Now Batista tries to climb over the top for some reason but Khali pounds him down, right into position for Batista to Bomb him out of the corner. Khali blocks it with punches though and the champion is down. Vice Grip goes on and Batista is in trouble. Khali asks for the fourth gate to be opened but Batista hits him low to put both guys down.

The last door closes so Khali beats up the referee through the cage. Khali tries to climb as JBL says this is something out of Jurassic Park. Uh….not exactly Jibbles. Khali tries to climb out but gets knocked down. JBL: “When big men fall down off the top rope like that it hurts.” Batista climbs as well but gets pulled down with a big crash. Khali climbs up and over the top of the first cage while Batista is still down. Both guys climb a cage and in a very cool looking ending, Batista jumps from the outside of the inner cage to the inside of the outer cage and gets up and out faster than Khali can to retain.

Rating: C-. I don’t think anyone would say this was good. I don’t think anyone would argue that a regular cage match wouldn’t have been better. I do however think this wasn’t half bad. The ending was really cool with that jump being something almost out of an action movie. It was an interesting experiment but thankfully they didn’t try it after this.

After losing the title at Armageddon, Batista would float around for most of 2008 until his long awaited showdown with John Cena at Summerslam. How can I not include this?

John Cena vs. Batista

Batista shoves Cena back to start before grabbing a headlock. Cena comes back with a quick slam and Batista stops to take a breather. A big clothesline puts Cena down and a Jackhammer gets two. Cena comes right back with a suplex of his own for two but Batista puts him down with a side slam. A quick FU attempt is countered and Batista goes after the leg. Off to a Figure Four on Cena (just like Flair, he puts it on the wrong leg) who can’t power out so we get a rope grab instead for the break.

Back up immediately and Cena throws Batista to the floor in something resembling an FU before collapsing down. Back in again and Cena fires off the shoulder blocks and the ProtoBomb to set up the Shuffle. The FU is countered again and Batista kicks him in the face to put both guys down. Batista drives shoulders into the corner and catches him in the spinebuster to put Cena down. Cena backdrops out of the Batista Bomb and hits a DDT on the leg to set up the STFU. Batista FINALLY crawls over and gets a rope to shock Cena.

Batista gets up and escapes another FU to hook a rear naked choke of all things. Cena fights out of a hold as well, only to get caught by a spear for a VERY close two. They’re in full on main event mode here and it’s getting very awesome. Cena counters a powerslam into an FU but can’t follow up due to exhaustion. It’s finally good for two so Cena goes up with nowhere else to go.

Batista is up as well and they slug it out on top with Batista being knocked to the mat. Cena tries the Fameasser but gets caught in a Batista Bomb…..for two, plus a neck injury that required three months off (I seem to remember that happening earlier but WWE said it was here). Not that it matters as Batista goes into Animal Mode and ENDS Cena with a Batista Bomb for the pin.

Rating: A-. This is exactly what it was supposed to be: the two top guys in the company going to war with only one left standing. It’s a great fight in the vein of Rock vs. Austin from back in the day. Almost no complaints here and it felt like a major match on a major stage. What else can you ask for here?

Batista would win a few more world titles in 2008/9 but injuries kept sidetracking him. He would form a short lived tag team with Rey Mysterio before Mysterio accidentally cost him a four way match at Bragging Rights. This triggered a Batista heel turn, setting up a massacre of Mysterio at Survivor Series 2009.

Rey Mysterio vs. Batista

That Booyaka song of Rey’s is growing on me. It’s fun to shout along with. Rey takes the leg out quickly and tries the 619 but Batista bails. Rey follows and is immediately slammed against the apron and Big Dave takes over. Mysterio tries to fire off some kicks but Batista clotheslines his head off to stop Rey cold. The Batista Bomb is escaped as is a powerslam and Rey goes after the knee.

Rey kicks Batista into 619 position but Batista grabs the legs out of the air but can’t hit the Bomb yet. Mysterio sends him to the floor for a seated senton but Batista shrugs it off. Back in and Rey hits a pair of 619’s to the back and the ribs and a third to the face. Another springboard seated senton puts Batista down and Rey goes up for the Eddie dance, only to dive onto knees. Batista kills Rey with a spear and there’s the spinebuster. The Batista Bomb kills Rey but Dave won’t cover. There’s another Bomb and a third so the referee stops the match.

Rating: C+. I liked this for the story it was telling and the match wasn’t all that important. This was cool to see as Batista let out some of his anger and didn’t have to get pinned by some stupid rollup or anything like that. Sometimes you need some violence and the destruction of someone instead of them being able to stand tall. Let the bad guy win once in awhile and let him look strong. Then when someone stands up to him and beats him, they’re a hero. For some reason, this never happens anymore.

In a surprise move, Batista would join forces with Vince McMahon in February, earning him a title match against John Cena after Cena had competed in an Elimination Chamber match. Batista won with ease but would lose the title to Cena at Wrestlemania XXVI. Here’s their rematch in a last man standing rematch at Extreme Rules 2010.

Raw World Title: John Cena vs. Batista

We get the big match intros. Depending on the source you read, this might be Big Dave’s last match. We get some feeling out stuff and then Batista is like screw it I’m getting a chair. Naturally this doesn’t work. When did so many people start using the big boot? FU doesn’t hit and Cena is thrown into the post.

Batista goes for the knee because that strategy always works in these things right? He does that for a good while. Cena gets a reversal into the steps to get Cena back to about even. Batista busts out a freaking figure four. Well you can’t fault him for a lack of psychology. Cena goes into his sequence but Batista hits the floor.

FU onto the chair hits but it gets 8. Wow that’s odd to type. Spinebuster gets 8 for Big Dave. Cena goes thgrough a table and of course that’s not enough. Batista is looking for plundah, perhaps a bicycle, when a kid yells that he hates the Animal. The Animal feels the same way. Cena puts him through the announce table. You can kind of say this is a paint by numbers thing. It’s not but you could say it is. STFU goes on and Big Dave taps, but you can’t win that way.

He’s out but gets up at 9. Nice little throwback (I crack myself up) to Raw two weeks ago. With nothing else left, Cena crotches him on the post and busts out Duct Tape to tie his legs together. Since he isn’t standing, that’s good enough to retain. Or win the title according to the main page.

Rating: B. Solid match but nothing classic. Cena beats Batista again to end the feud and possibly end Batista. This was fine for what it was, which is something I think people need to keep in mind. They weren’t going for a classic showdown here. That was at Mania. This was the violence aspect of it and more about a definitive ending. You have to keep that in mind on matches like these as it’s a huge difference in style and goals.

That’s pretty much it for Batista as he would leave after the second rematch a month later. Overall Batista is an incredibly successful guy but he was a step below Cena once John ascended to the top of the company. Make no mistake about it though: he was the bigger star for about nine months after Cena won his first title. Batista got REALLY good during his feud with Undertaker and never looked back. I’m glad he’s in WWE again as even at 45 years old he still has a lot to offer.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 17: Ted DiBiase

So my options for the 17th were Kevin Fertig (Thorn) and Mark Briscoe. On the 18th I had to pick between Ted DiBiase and Batista as they share a birthday. If you can’t catch on, Fertig and Briscoe are out and the big stars get their own days. We’ll start with my pick for the best heel of all time: Ted DiBiase.

DiBiase started off in the territories but would get a quick run in the WWF in 1979.

Hulk Hogan vs. Ted DiBiase

Yeah it’s the same guys you think it is. Hogan is NOTHING yet as he’s just a big muscle head with limited talent in the ring. Well I guess some things never change. He would become Thunder Lips in Rocky 3 a few years later and change his life forever. He even has Freddie Blassie as his manager and a big gold robe here. DiBiase is this young kid that used to have a midcard title but it was stolen by those pesky Brazilians and put into some tournament.

DiBiase is billed from Omaha, Nebraska of all places. This is Hogan’s MSG debut. Hokey smoke this is actually famous then. The inside of the robe is all rainbow colored. Vince is clearly about to orgasm on the spot at the sight of Hogan in tights. Hogan stalls but gets caught in a full nelson. It’s so weird seeing him at 26 and this green. DiBiase is incredibly popular and fast here. I feel like I’m in some parallel universe seeing DiBiase vs. Hogan with DiBiase as an over face.

Now I’ve never been one to make jokes, but Hogan is called the Fabulous One and has a coat with rainbow colors. I doubt this was intentional but it’s funny by mistake. Ted gets knocked to the floor and Hogan keeps hitting him which is kind of pointless. Hogan hits a legdrop which 8 years later would get you a 30 count but here it’s just a regular move and only gets two.

Hulk reminds me of a muscular Dolph Ziggler. This ends any connections between the two for the rest of time. Hogan puts on a chinlock and the bell rings which confuses everyone so I’m guessing it was accidental. Yeah it must be since the match just keeps going. DiBiase makes a standard comeback but the crowd loves it. A charge misses though and DiBiase passes out in a bearhug. Oddly enough the only two matches that I can think of that have ended like that have both involved Hogan.

Rating: C. Total formula stuff before the formula was written but that’s fine. Both guys were pretty new at this point so it’s not like you could ask for much of them otherwise. How in the world did this match never get a huge build and a huge blowoff 8 years later? Well depending on who you listen to that would be the Honky Tonk Man, but look up some of my other stuff for that since I’m tired of telling that story.

DiBiase would move on to Mid-South where he would have his greatest success before coming to the WWF. Here’s a match from 1985 against a rookie.

Ted DiBiase vs. Shawn Michaels

Ted’s last name is announced as DiBias. Shawn is quickly taken to the mat and DiBiase drives knees into his back. A hard shoulder block puts Shawn down again as we’re in squash territory already. We hit the chinlock but Shawn fights up and gets a fast two off a small package. DiBiase is livid and a sunset flip for two makes him even angrier. Ted comes right back with an elbow to the jaw and another to the head. A powerslam and the Figure Four are enough to make Shawn tap. Squash.

I’ll stay in this time period but go to Houston Wrestling, a territory I’ve never actually covered to see a team I’ve never actually covered. The video is at least labeled Houston but it seems more like a Mid-South match so take it for what it’s worth.

Ted DiBiase/Steve Williams vs. Blade Runners

Yes it’s Sting and the Ultimate Warrior as VERY green rookies and basically ripping off the Road Warriors. DiBiase and Williams are faces here and we’re joined in progress at the five minute mark with Sting holding DiBiase in a headlock. DiBiase fights out and cleans house until Sting comes back in to tag in Rock (Warrior) to face Williams. Neither guy goes anywhere on the power match but Williams gets tired of just standing around and runs both Blade Runners over to send them outside.

Back in and Williams grabs a headlock on Rock before running him down with another shoulder. The Blade Runners’ manager Eddie Gilbert gets on the apron for a distraction, allowing Sting to get in a cheap shot and the Blade Runners take over. Rock hooks a chinlock on Williams as Gilbert crosses his heart that he didn’t do anything wrong. Sting, in a ridiculous looking half t-shirt, comes in and actually hits his big elbow drop for two.

We hit another chinlock as the fans chant OU (for Oklahoma University where Williams was a big star) sending JR into a frenzy. Williams fights up but misses a charge into the corner to put him down. Rock comes back in but misses an elbow drop, allowing for the hot tag off to DiBiase. Everything breaks down and Gilbert runs in to dropkick Sting onto DiBiase but Ted rolls through for the pin, sending the crowd into a frenzy.

Rating: C-. Pure formula stuff here but the fans were way into it. Commentary suggests this is a Houston Wrestling match so it’s nice to get another territory off my to do list. The Blade Runners were nothing special but they would get far better as singles guys. Of note here were some of the dropkicks DiBiase tried. I kid you not, one of them hit Sting in the stomach. It’s a good thing he didn’t use that much as a heel.

It was on to the WWF soon after this where DiBiase would be put into the main event scene very quickly. Here’s DiBiase challenging Hogan from a Houston house show on December 10, 1987.

WWF World Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Hulk Hogan

 

DiBiase has Virgil and Andre with him. Both are listed as seconds. So he has two seconds? There’s a “that’s still not a three count” joke in there but it’s really bad so I’ll pass. Hogan comes straight at him with the belt and DiBiase runs. The place erupted for Hogan to say the least. Hogan pulls him right in and the fight is on. He beats on Ted and DiBiase heads to the floor to hide.

 

That gets him nowhere but Andre makes Hogan go back into the ring. Virgil is pulled into the ring and both he and DiBiase take big boots to send them to the floor. Hogan keeps posing and the fans keep getting louder. We finally get going and Hogan uses his wrestling skills to take DiBiase to the mat. We hit the floor and DiBiase finally takes over a bit. Ted stomps away and chokes Hogan a bit and Hogan does his always interesting version of selling.

 

Hogan starts his comeback and sets for the leg drop but Andre trips him up. Hogan yells at Andre….and wins by disqualification? That’s it? We get a six minute main event? Seriously? Apparently not as we’re not only going to continue but Andre must leave ringside and has been fined two thousand dollars! I’ve never heard of that before but it’s still pretty cool.

 

DiBiase jumps Hogan and might have hit him with a foreign object to take over. DiBiase hammers away on him with his usual stuff but Hogan Hulks Up and the big boot puts DiBiase down. Virgil gets on the apron and DiBiase hits him with a knee. Hogan grabs a fast roll up to retain the title. His day was coming very soon though.

 

Rating: D+. The match was pretty worthless for the most part although the nice little switch in there was a nice change of pace from the usual stuff. It’s always cool to see a different ending like that as if nothing else it makes the fans think they’ve seen something special which is the entire point of a house show.

We’ve covered Wrestlemania IV already so here’s Savage vs. DiBiase from SNME XV, about two weeks before Wrestlemania.

Ted DiBiase vs. Randy Savage

Andre is with DiBiase and Vince is FURIOUS. Vince if you hate your own booking that much maybe you should step down. With Virgil and Andre interfering Savage is in trouble earlier and as I’m typing that DiBiase messes up. That’s never happened before of course. This match is more or less awesome just based on who is in there. Jesse thinks that might not be Dave Hebner. DAng that was a brilliant angle.

DiBiase busts out the spinning toehold! Is there a class on that at West Texas State or something? The heels triple team Savage and Virgil is thrown out for it. This is solid so far but again it feels like they’re off a bit. They might not be wanting to do any of the stuff they had planned for Mania. The referee goes down “by mistake” and Andre beats the heck out of Savage on the floor. Liz runs off and of course comes back with Hogan. Savage gets counted out first though and DiBiase wins it. In a stupid thing, when Hogan gets there with a chair he throws it in the ring where either heel could have picked it up. Genius isn’t he?

Rating: B-. Solid but not great. This was about setting up Mania and obviously this wasn’t the projected final so it’s not like they were giving anything away. These two could always have a good match and this was no exception. I liked it but not as much as the mania one actually.

DiBiase did a lot of work over in Japan for AJPW, including a show co-produced by WWF and All Japan where he received what might have been the first title shot at new WWF Champion Ultimate Warrior.

WWF Title: Ted DiBiase vs. Ultimate Warrior

Now here’s an interesting match. It’s about as predictable as possible, but it should be pretty decent if DiBiase can save it, which he’s capable of. Warrior is WAY over here, which stuns me. The guy with real talent jumps the champion early and gets beaten up for it. You know how Hogan used a completely different move set and wrestled a different style when he was in Japan?

 

This is nothing like that for Warrior. He’s the same wreckloose he is in America and it’s just as bad. DiBiase avoids the shoulder block to take control though. This is a really short match as after a few shots and a piledriver which feels just right and feels so real that it feels just like a piledriver, Warrior does his Hulking Up which we don’t call Hulking Up because we don’t want our fans to realize we have two characters that are more or less exactly the same but this one is far worse at it. A bunch of clotheslines and a splash ends this.

 

Rating: C+. Well I guess keeping it short was the best idea in the end. There was no way this was going to go long or anything as even DiBiase’s greatness wasn’t getting two great or even good matches out of Warrior in two weeks. It was a house show main event llevel match and that’s all it needed to be I suppose. Still, too short to be anything worth watching.

Ted would drop down the card a bit but would still get an Intercontinental Title shot to close out 1991.

Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Ted DiBiase

Ok this has to be good. Crowd pops big for the title mention which hopefully is for Bret. Nice pop for Bret when he comes out. Apparently the leather jacket is a new thing here. That’s odd to hear indeed. Gorilla thinks Sherri likes Bret. That’s a scary combination: Sherri and Bret with Gorilla watching.

Long feeling out process to start with DiBiase stalling to try to tick Bret off. Bret, the hothead that he is, falls for it to an extent. DiBiase gets a shot to the ribs but runs when Bret comes after him. We hit the floor and it’s on. It’s weird seeing a big Marlboro ad behind the ring. I love watching DiBiase flip forward. It’s perfect every time.

Bret rams DiBiase and “the witch’s” heads together to drive Heenan crazy. We hit the headlock on the mat with Bret in control. DiBiase keeps rolling him to the side as this is a chess match so far. It’s time to talk about the Rumble some more as Bret hits a dropkick for two and now right back to the headlock.

DiBiase fights to his feet and manages to get a hot shot out of nowhere to turn the tide all over again. As good as Bret was on offense he’s somehow even better on defense which is odd indeed. Nice spinning neckbreaker for two. DiBiase hits the chinlock as Sherri keeps distracting the referee so Ted can get some choking in. Bret fights up and gets some punches him but is sent into the corner and smacks his chest against the buckle in one of his signature spots.

Million Dollar Dream goes on and Bret is in big trouble. Sherri grabs the wrench that they use to ring the bell and rings it for the referee as DiBiase grabs both belts and celebrates. Fink calls shenanigans and Hebner throws Sherri out. Bret gets a Russian Leg Sweep out of nowhere to get us back to even. Heenan wants to take the belt to make it a watch.

Bret plays possum (I’m stunned too) and takes over. Nice suplex gets two. Small package gets the same. Middle rope elbow has Ted reeling. We see the Million Dollar Ass as a gutwrench suplex gets two. DiBiase is knocked to the floor and almost lands on Sherri. Bret hits a perfect pescado and Ted is reeling. And there’s the time limit which thankfully they didn’t announce at all. That helps a bit actually.

Rating: B. Good stuff here but the chinlocks kind of hurt it a bit. One of the major things here is that Bret gets to show he can hang with a known master like DiBiase, but I really don’t see why they couldn’t let Bret get a pin. It’s not like DiBiase was doing anything in storylines so it’s not like his credibility would really be hurt or something. Odd ending to a rather good match.

The next big step for DiBiase was the tag team Money Inc., who won three tag team titles in a span of about two years. Here’s a non-title match from Summerslam 1992 against the Legion of Doom.

Money Inc. vs. Legion of Doom

This is on the main card with no real fanfare at all. The LOD comes to the ring on motorcycles along with manager Paul Ellering and……dang it…….Rocco the Dummy. There’s nothing more to it than that: it’s a ventriloquist dummy named Rocco who was the team’s “inspiration.” DiBiase is in his white trunks which I couldn’t stand when I first did this show but for some reason they work for me now. Vince gets in one of my favorite lines ever: “The Legion of Doom is well known for their psychology in the ring.” I’ll pause for a minute to let that one sink in.

Hawk starts with DiBiase and it’s Ted sliding to the floor to avoid a right hand. Animal jumps DiBiase on the floor and sends him back inside, only for Hawk to clothesline him right back to the floor. The fans are WAY into the LOD here. Off to Animal vs. IRS with Animal whipping him into the corner and standing on the tie like a smart man would. A gorilla press gets two for Animal before it’s back to Hawk for some arm work.

Irwin comes back with a sleeper but it’s only good for two arm drops before Hawk rams him into the buckle. The top rope clothesline misses IRS though and Hawk falls out to the floor. IRS drops some elbows as for two the fans won’t stop chanting for LOD. Back to DiBiase for some knee drops followed by a chinlock. Jimmy Hart, one of the greatest managers of all time, is yelling at Rocco the dummy. Money Inc. changes off without tagging to send Vince into his usual hysteria.

Hawk finally fights up and rams Ted into the buckle but the hot tag is broken up. The place is going to go nuts when Animal gets in. Ted drops some knees on Hawk and puts on a front facelock but the bird man carries him over towards Animal. IRS breaks up ANOTHER hot tag attempt but gets caught in a double clothesline with Hawk. Animal FINALLY gets the hot tag and cleans house but IRS breaks up the Doomsday Device. Not that it matters much as Animal powerslams DiBiase down for the pin about three seconds later.

Rating: C-. The crowd was HOT for this but it wasn’t much of note. This was part of the three way tag team feud with the Natural Disasters over the fall which ultimately saw Money Inc. coming out with the titles. This was the last appearance for this incarnation of the LOD for years in the WWF because of Rocco. Seriously, Hawk snapped over the idea and didn’t go back to America (to be fair though everyone knew the snap was coming sooner or later).

DiBiase would hurt his neck and be forced into retirement at the end of 1993. I’ll close us out in true DiBiase fashion with a battle royal from the 15th anniversary special of Monday Night Raw in 2007.

15th Anniversary Battle Royal

THE FINK does the intros. We’ve got Al Snow, Bart Gunn (man, where did they drag him out of?), DOINK THE CLOWN, Repo Man, Steve Blackman (in far better shape than he ever was when he was a regular), Pete Gas of the Mean Street Posse, BOB FREAKING BACKLUND (58 years old here and looking to be in better shape than most of the roster), Gangrel, Goon, Skinner, IRS, Flash Funk, Scotty 2 Hotty, Jim Neidhart, Sgt. Slaughter and Gillberg, who gets a full entrance with guards and pyro sticks and canned chants. That’s AWESOME. This is supposed to be a 15 man battle royal but there are 16 in it. Eh who cares?

Gillberg is ganged up on and tossed immediately. Backlund is out quickly and the point of this isn’t who wins but is just for fun. A Head shot by Snow puts Doink out. Same for Gangrel. HEAD CHEESE EXPLODES!!! Skinner is called a fabulous one (haha) and there go Bart, Flash and Blackman. Repo Man puts Goon out and Skinner puts Repo out. Final Four are Slaughter, IRS, Skinner and Scotty. IRS gets his briefcase but gets it knocked into his face so we can see the Worm. Skinner puts Scotty out but walks into the Cobra Clutch. Slaughter dumps Skinner but IRS dumps Slaughter in the same ending from X7’s Gimmick Battle Royal.

BUT WAIT! Here’s Ted DiBiase, who is officially in the battle royal also. However, he says that IRS has his price so IRS dives over the top, making DiBiase the winner! And that my friends, is why Ted DiBiase is better than your favorite heel. We even get the evil laugh! The match isn’t worth rating because that’s not the point. The ending made me smile a lot though.

Ted DiBiase is one of the best performers in the history of wrestling. If there has ever been a better heel, I’ve yet to see him and that includes Hollywood Hogan. There was nothing redeemable about Ted DiBiase and he was able to get the WWF Title off of Hulk Hogan when no one else could. What made him even better was that he could have a good match with just about anyone and gave a lot of young guys a lot of rubs along the way. If you want a lesson on how to be evil in wrestling, go find some of his stuff from the 80s. It’s more than worth your time.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 16: Scott Hall

Today we look at one of the biggest names to never be world champion: Scott Hall. While it’s not his birthday, it is the birthday of Rick Bognar, who portrayed the fake Razor in 1997.

Hall got his start in Florida but would first come to prominence in the AWA as Big Scott Hall. He would win the tag titles with Curt Hennig and defend them at WrestleRock 86 on April 20, 1986.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs. Long Riders

The Long Riders are a biker team who ride in on their motorcycles. Hall gets an award for being popular pre match. The champions won the titles in Albuquerque apparently, which is nowhere near the AWA territory, so I’m going to bet that match didn’t happen. Also the regular AWA ring announcer, Larry Nelson, is now sitting in on commentary with Trongard. The Long Riders are Scott “Hog” Irwin and Wild Bill Irwin.

Hall starts with Scott (for this match, Scott will only be used for Scott Irwin. Scott Hall will only be called Hall) as we hear about the Long Riders being made to wear wrestling gear. Apparently their biker gear has been used for EVIL and has therefore been banned. Nothing goes on here so the partners both tag off. Hennig hits a HUGE dropkick on the future Goon and we head to the floor for a chase scene. Back to Hall as the champions have been in total control the whole time so far.

Bill manages to take Hall to the mat for about two full seconds but the more famous one grabs an armbar to take over. Off to Hennig and the beating continues. Dropkick gets two as we’re five minutes in. Curt and Bill slug it out and Hennig superkicks him down for two. Bill misses a charge and an elbow drop so Hennig grabs a headlock. They get up and do a weird sequence where they’re both on their stomachs and Curt crawls at him as Bill backpedals to the floor.

Test of strength now and Hennig kind of suplexes him over for two. The Riders take over on Curt with some double teaming. They draw in Hall for some lame double teaming as we’re at ten minutes into this. More double teaming which is mainly just assisted choking. Curt avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Hall. House is cleaned and noggins are knocked but it’s back to Hennig. Everything breaks down and Curt is sent to the floor. It doesn’t really matter though as Hall goes to the floor with Scott, allowing a missile dropkick from Hennig to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as there was a formula and an idea here, but the execution wasn’t that great. The Riders were a pretty weak team but it could have been far worse. Hennig was a huge deal in the AWA and would hold the world title for over a year starting in May of 87. Decent match but nothing all that great. It’s a big upgrade on the majority of the show though.

 

Hall would leave the AWA in 1989 and float around for a bit, including a quick run in Dusty Rhodes’ PWF territory. Here’s a match from one of their bigger events: PWF Homecoming.

Scott Hall/Steve Keirn vs. Dick Slater/Bam Bam Bigelow

Keirn has an alligator with him named Wally. Get the reference? Gordon says this is an Australian tag match, whatever that means. Bigelow and Hall start things off. Bigelow is the only one here that looks like he usually looks. Hall works on the arm and brings it’s off to Slater who takes over. Back to Bigelow who looks silly working on the arm. Monster heels go after RIBS man. RIBS. Bam Bam misses a headbutt and Hall hits a dropkick.

Off to Keirn who works on the arm as well. Slater is knocked to the floor and Keirn suplexes him back in for one. This is another boring match. Swinging neckbreker from Slater puts Keirn down but he won’t tag. I guess it’s supposed to tease tension or something. Slater drops an elbow for a delayed two. Keirn hooks a sleeper so Bigelow makes the save. Hall knocks Slater down and after about a day and a half Keirn tags him in. A quick sunset flip gets the pin. Oh and apparently Slater and Bigelow are part of Page’s stable.

Rating: D-. Scott Hall’s mustache alone keeps this from failing. Other than that there’s NOTHING here that anyone should want to see. This show continues a complete lack of being able to tell us anything about the stories leading up to the match. Bigelow and Slater are in the Diamond Exchange? Thanks for telling us that with 10 seconds left in the match. It really made the ending epic.

Scott would have a pretty worthless run in WCW as the Diamond Stud before going to the WWF for the role that made him famous: Razor Ramon. Allegedly the gimmick was invented during Hall’s interview with Vince. McMahon told him to come up with a character on the spot and Hall started talking like Tony Montana from Scarface. Vince had never seen the movie and thought Hall was a genius. Hall’s first major angle in the WWF was a semi-bizarre pairing with Ric Flair against Mr. Perfect and Randy Savage. His first and only major WWF Title shot came at the 1993 Royal Rumble.

WWF World Title: Razor Ramon vs. Bret Hart

Feeling out process to start with Razor getting the early advantage with some right hands. A knee in the corner misses and Bret has on the Figure Four in less than 90 seconds. Razor gets the rope so Bret drops elbows on the knee instead. The leg gets wrapped around the post before Bret goes after the other leg in the corner for some reason. Ramon comes back with a whip to send Bret ribs first into the post.

Now we get to the best part of any Bret Hart match: him getting the tar beaten out of him. Some backbreakers on the floor keep Bret down and we head inside again. Razor pounds on the ribs some more and hits the fallaway slam for two. Helen Hart (Bret’s mom) is in the front row. There’s the chest first into the buckle bump from Bret for two more and it’s off to the abdominal stretch, another Razor trademark.

As always, Bret reverses Hall’s hold into one of his own before getting hiptossed over. Bret is sent to the floor on a kickout and gets two on a sunset flip. We hit the reverse chinlock by Razor, followed quickly by a bearhug. Bret bites his way out of it and sends Razor to the outside in a quick move. The champion follows it up with a suicide dive and the comeback is on.

Bret pounds away in the corner over and over as we hit the brawl. For a guy known as a technical master, Bret brawled an awful lot. Not that he’s bad at it or anything but it happens really often. There are the Five Moves of Doom but Razor gets to the rope before the Sharpshooter is on. The second attempt doesn’t work either as Razor pulls the referee into a pile with the two of them.

Ramon goes right back to the ribs and Bret’s momentum is stopped dead. A belly to back superplex is blocked by Bret into a belly to back suplex for two for the champ. Razor clotheslines Bret down but Bret escapes the Razor’s Edge into a backslide for two. In a pretty awesome ending, Bret counters a test of strength into a sunset flip in a sweet flip counter, followed by grapevining the legs together on the mat and turning Razor over into the Sharpshooter for the submission.

Rating: B. Good match here and again, why did Razor never get more title matches? I know he wasn’t the kind of guy to make the world champion, but are you telling me that when the company was falling apart at times they couldn’t throw him in there as a token challenger? I would have bought him as legit threat to any champion, but it never happened. I’ve never gotten that. Anyway, solid match here as you would expect from these two.

Soon after this, Hall would be turned face by a loss to the Kid on an episode of Raw. He would eventually win the Intercontinental Title in the fall of 1993, leading to his most famous match ever. Shawn Michaels had been the Intercontinental Champion but was suspended while still champion. The solution was to hang both titles above the ring and the first man to climb a ladder to pull them down would be champion. From Wrestlemania X if you somehow don’t know that.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon

Shawn has Diesel with him here. Diesel is told to leave but just doesn’t because that’s the kind of guy he is. Basic stuff to start with Shawn blocking a hip toss but getting chokeslammed instead. They hit the ropes to build some speed and Shawn hits a neckbreaker. Razor gets sent to the floor and there’s a clothesline from Diesel, earning him another ejection which actually works this time.

Anyway Shawn gets punched in the jaw and Razor takes over again. Shawn is knocked into the corner before a BIG clothesline puts him on the floor. Razor exposes the concrete but we head back inside before he can use it. The Razor’s Edge is loaded up but Shawn backdrops Ramon over the top and onto the concrete, possibly injuring an elbow. Shawn gets the ladder but Razor jacks his jaw to stop it. The ladder is slid inside but Shawn hits a baseball slide to knock it into Ramon’s ribs.

Back inside again and the ladder is rammed into Razor’s ribs both in the corner and on the mat. Shawn throws the ladder onto Razor’s back which looks SICK. He tosses it at Razor against the ropes and goes for a climb, only to have Razor pull Shawn’s tights down and give us a rather unpleasant (or pleasant depending on your preferences) view. Not that it matters as Shawn knocks him down and climbs again, this time hitting a pretty famous splash to crush Razor again.

Razor saves another climb by shoving the ladder over, sending Shawn onto the top rope. We get a camera shot from above the ring, showing both guys laid out on the mat. Cool shot. Back up and Michaels is whipped into the ladder in the corner, knocking him out to the floor. Razor rams the ladder into Shawn’s chest with his back against the post. If that’s not enough, Razor launches Shawn into the ladder against the apron to keep Michaels in agony.

Back in and Ramon BLASTS Shawn with the ladder to knock him to the outside again. Razor climbs up but Shawn dives off the top rope to knock him down. The ladder falls onto Shawn in the process to keep both guys on the mat. They both start to climb but the ladder is bent. Shawn is higher up but can’t hang in a slugout with Razor. Michaels gets punched down but the ladder gives way under Razor, sending him down.

Ramon climbs again but Shawn dropkicks the ladder which doesn’t topple over this time. In a smart move, Shawn pushes the ladder over onto Razor’s back to take control again. A big piledriver puts Razor down so Shawn goes to the corner. In another famous visual, Shawn rides the ladder down onto Razor, crushing him yet again. Since he’s a jerk though, Shawn puts the ladder over top of Razor, but Ramon gets up and knocks Shawn off the ladder. Michaels gets tangled in the ropes, allowing Razor to climb up to unify the titles.

Rating: A+. This is one of the matches that reignited the midcard scene after things had died down for a bit. It also paved the way for the insane style that would start to dominate about five years later. That being said, it’s still a freaking AWESOME match with some iconic spots such as the splash. It also started Shawn on the roll of a lifetime, as the next year he would be in the world title match at Wrestlemania then win the title the following year. This match is required viewing for fans.

Razor would stick around the midcard title scene for the next several years while still being one of the most popular wrestlers in the company. He would trade the title with Diesel later in the year, setting up an Intercontinental Title defense against Jeff Jarrett at the 1995 Royal Rumble.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Jarrett is challenging and now has the Roadie with him. Razor starts with his usual assortment of punches and a fallaway slam to send Jeff to the floor. After a little toweling off on the floor, Jeff armdrags Razor down and struts. They trade arm holds until Razor gets taken to the mat where Jeff messes with his hair. Careful with the grease there Jeff. Razor gets annoyed and knocks Jeff to the floor for some more Memphis stalling.

Jeff gets back in and is immediately puts in an armbar where Razor can mess with Jarrett’s hair. Some dropkicks floor the champ and a clothesline gets two. Razor catches a boot coming and ducks the enziguri from Jeff, but Razor misses an elbow to keep Jarrett in control. We hit the chinlock followed by a sunset flip by Jeff for two. Another dropkick gets the same and Jarrett is getting frustrated.

Jarrett hooks a sleeper but Razor quickly counters. The counter doesn’t last long though as Jeff hits a swinging neckbreaker for two. Ramon slides behind Jeff in the corner and crotches him on the post to a big pop. We get a messed up (not botched mind you) spot where Razor was going to try a bulldog off the middle rope but Jeff turns around and it had to be a clothesline. Eh no harm no foul. Jeff backdrops Razor to the floor, injuring the champ’s knee. Roadie clips him in the knee and Razor gets counted out.

We won’t get to the rating just yet. Post match Jeff calls Razor a coward for taking the easy way out like that and calls him back into the ring. Razor pulls a Marty McFly and takes the bait, giving us another match.

Intercontinental Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon

Razor tries some quick rollups for two but Jeff goes right for the knee to take over. Jeff does his best Ric Flair imitation but as he goes for the third cannonball down onto the leg, Razor kicks him over the top and out to the floor. Back in and Jarrett puts on the Figure Four, putting Razor in a lot of trouble. Razor escapes and starts his comeback with punches and the belly to back superplex but Jeff counters in mid air for two. Razor clotheslines him down and loads up the Edge, but the knee gives out and Jeff rolls him up for the pin and the title.

Rating: C+. I always remember liking this match and it holds up pretty well. Memphis stalling isn’t for everyone but it’s a good way of drawing heel heat, which Jeff might as well have been an iceberg for otherwise. Razor was awesome at this point and had good chemistry with Jeff, so this worked pretty well all around. The ending was smart as it was Razor’s trademark ending for house shows, but he would usually win in about 30 seconds with the Razor’s Edge. Nice to see them switch things up here.

Razor would leave the WWF in May of 1996 and join WCW for the biggest angle of all time. This would lead to Bash at the Beach 1996 and the turn to end all turns.

Sting/Lex Luger/Randy Savage vs. Kevin Nash/Scott Hall/???

In case you don’t remember, the WCW guys were selected by putting the names of the top 6 WCW wrestlers based on win/loss record over the past I think six months or a year in a hat and drawing them out. The others were Hogan, Taskmaster and Giant. Hall and Nash come out alone and don’t have names yet. Tony gives them their names here. Until then they were just the Outsiders.

I’m not one for six man main events but this feels huge. Partially because it is huge. Gene goes into the ring before the WCW guys are here to find out who the third man is or for that matter where he is. The build for the drama here is epic. They’re milking this for everything they can.

The commentators aren’t even trying to stay unbiased which for once is nice. Even Randy Anderson is taller than Gene. Buffer is almost as tall as Scott Hall. Wow I didn’t realize that. The bell rings and we actually start with a handicap match.

The paranoia of the announcers actually upgrade this, marking the final time the WCW commentators don’t make me want a stiff drink in the history of WCW. Luger and Hall start. Now we get to the interesting part about a minute in. It turns into a big brawl and Nash and Luger are in the corner. Sting launches a Stinger Splash and nails Nash.

He also nails Luger, whose head and neck are rammed into the turnbuckle/bar attaching the turnbuckle to the ring. He’s OUT. They bring out a stretcher to carry him to the back and we have a 2-2 match with the third man on the way out. Now this does a few things. First of all, it makes the Outsiders look like they have a chance. Being realistic, there was no three man combination in the world that could have beaten Sting, Luger and Savage at this point and looked dominant.

That’s a WCW All-Star team to put it mildly and it would have been a waste of time to try. By making it two against what would become three, it makes WCW, the faces, at a disadvantage as they should be (are you listening TNA?). Also, this throws out a tiny piece of meat to the smarks as Luger and Sting had been the top candidates to be the third man.

It opens a door for Luger coming back and never being hurt and it opens a door for Sting to have done that on purpose. Either way the match pretty much stops at this point while we wheel Luger out. Tony says the Outsiders planned that somehow. That makes no sense but whatever. Crowd is RABID here.

Savage comes in but when Nash goes for a big elbow he lands on Savage’s head so Sting has to come in. Nash beats the heck out of Sting as does Hall so Savage is going to get the hot tag. There’s no real penalty or reward if the Outsiders win. They’re doing something brilliant here as they’re pacing things out to the point where we forget about the third man.

That’s very smart booking and I’m in awe of how this match is going. Tony says the Outsiders should get hurt. Wow. I’m not sure if that’s awesome or not. Savage FINALLY gets the hot tag and you actually can barely understand the announcers over the crowd. Nash gets a low blow on him though…and here comes Hulk Hogan. Heenan asks which side is he on.

The Outsiders clear the ring….and Hogan turns heel, dropping a leg on Savage and then another one. To say the crowd is ticked off is an understatement. This is legitimately a shock as NO ONE, not Meltzer, not Keith, not Reynolds, no one called this and if they did they were wrong at the time because from every report I can find, this decision was made the day of or the day before the show as Sting was scheduled to be the third man until Hogan agreed to do it.

This was a legitimate shocker and it lived up to every bit of the hype. Hogan turning was the one thing that made this angle work as I’ll get into later on. This was a great moment and I was about to cry when it happened. The fans flood the ring with garbage as Gene gets in. Hogan cements his heel status by saying the fans need to shut up if they want to hear what he has to say. That line alone makes this promo.

He says the name and the rest is history. Hogan claims the success for making WWF. I’m shocked too. Hogan says he’s bored with WCW and is joining up with the Outsiders and calls them the new blood of WCW. This is the one problem I had with both this turn and Austin joining the Alliance in 2001. Both guys said they were bored with the companies they had been in and wanted better competition.

If you’re going to be fighting the company you used to work for, won’t you be fighting the same competition you were fighting before? Hogan’s title win was over Giant who he had fought at I think three PPVs and his first defense was against Flair and you know that history. That just never made sense to me.

He throws in the for some reason semi-famous line about Bischoff selling meat from a truck in Minneapolis which is actually true. Hogan runs down the fans and does his trademark line. Tony says Hogan where he can go twice and we’re done.

Rating: A+. This was about launching the NWO. It worked.

Hall would join Kevin Nash as the Outsiders and dominate the tag division, including this title defense at Starrcade 1996.

Tag Titles: Outsiders vs. Faces of Fear

 

The Outsiders, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall, are defending here. The Faces of Fear are the Barbarian (I told you he stuck around for a long time) and Meng, Robert Parker’s old bodyguard, managed by Jimmy Hart. Hall and Meng start things off with the Tongan monster putting on a wristlock. Hall cranks on the arm but gets caught with a stiff clothesline. Meng charges into a boot in the corner, followed by a bulldog by Hall. The bulldog merely seems to tick Meng off though so he pounds Hall down and brings in Barbarian.

 

Off to Nash who pounds Barbarian into the corner and fires off some big slow knees to the ribs. An elbow to the face staggers Barbarian but he shoves the 7’0 Nash into the corner and pounds away with chops. Meng comes in and the challengers pound Nash down to a big reaction from the crowd. Nash tries to ram their heads together, but Wrestling Law #3 says anyone described as a savage has a VERY hard head, meaning it has no effect.

 

Nash is kicked down again for a two count for Barbarian but he misses a middle rope elbow. Barbarian is dropped face first on the top turnbuckle in a move called Snake Eyes (a move named by Nash when he portrayed Vinnie Vegas) and it’s back to Hall to pound on Barbarian a bit more. Meng comes down the apron and pulls Hall to the challengers’ corner for a double team with Barbarian. A BIG boot to the face puts Hall down but referee Nick Patrick, who may or may not be in the NWO’s pocket, takes his sweet time in counting two.

 

Back to Meng for a very delayed piledriver for another near fall. Barbarian tries his luck again with a bunch of chops and a good looking powerbomb. Patrick again takes forever to count, allowing Nash to come in for a save. Barbarian stays on Hall as Tony says he’s confused by who is legal. To be fair though, tying his shoes confuses Tony. NWO member Syxx goes after Jimmy Hart and the pair head to the back.

 

Barbarian puts on a nerve hold as Hall gets to lay on the mat. Maybe he needs a nap after all the hard work he’s done in this match so far. After not moving for a good 20 seconds and not being checked by Patrick, Hall fights up and suplexes Barbarian down to escape. Tag off to Nash who gets two off a big boot of his own. Everything breaks down and Nash powerbombs Barbarian down to retain.

 

Rating: C-. This one went longer than it needed to and even when I was eight years old I knew the Faces of Fear had no chance here. The Outsiders held those belts for the better part of a year and a half with no one being able to take them from them (and keep them that is). The match was a watchable power match but the belts never felt like they were in danger at all.

Hall would mainly be in tag team matches for the rest of the year but would win the World War 3 battle royal, earning him a world title shot at Uncensored 1998.

WCW World Title: Sting vs. Scott Hall

Hall won World War 3 which was only four months earlier. There’s your story. He also has Dusty Rhodes with him because he’s a heel turn we’re supposed to care about I guess. Sting hammers him to start and Hall bails. Mark Curtis, the referee, is REALLY skinny. He would die of cancer a year and a half later so maybe that’s partially to blame for it. He looks fine other than that. Maybe he’s just a skinny guy.

Hall hits a chokeslam and does his Giant imitation instead of covering with even Bobby freaking out over his stupidity. Hall goes out to the floor again and Dusty trips up Sting so Hall can clothesline him. Fallaway Slam hits as this is just Hall’s Greatest Hits here. Sting does his collapse into the balls thing. Dusty comes in and drops the elbow which the referee somehow misses despite the slight earthquake off the landing.

That only gets two though and Hall punches some more. Here’s the comeback and Sting hits a Stinger Splash in the corner. Scorpion is attempted but he has to drill Dusty instead. Down goes the referee (shocking) and Dusty throws in some brass knuckles. Another referee comes in for a two count. Outsider Edge is reversed into the Death Drop and we’re done.

Rating: C-. This is one of those matches where it’s supposed to be a big match and is just another match. This could have been a moderately big Nitro main event and no one would have noticed I don’t think. It’s not horrible but dude, that’s it? Sting would lose the title the next month so that Hogan could get it back the next night, because that’s what people wanted to see. Right?

 

While mainly a tag wrestler, Hall would occasionally have singles success, including a US Title match with Roddy Piper at SuperBrawl 1999.

US Title: Roddy Piper vs. Scott Hall

This match alone should sum up most of WCW’s problems from this era (or most eras for that matter) in a nutshell. First of all, this is the third straight match with the Wolfpac theme music in it. Second, WCW has a roster including but not limited to: Hart, Booker T, Benoit, Mysterio, Jericho, Malenko, Saturn, Guerrero, Guerrero Jr. and probably a bunch of people that I’m forgetting, and they have Piper vs. Hall for the title and the announcers treat it like some dream match. That’s WCW for you.

Disco is with Hall here. We hear about Piper winning the US Title for the first time from Flair back in 1981. Why do you need me here? These jokes write themselves. Piper throws the kilt on Hall and pounds away at him. Piper does his usual punching, choking and poking. Oh and slapping too. Can’t forget the slapping. Hall is about to tell him to suck it so Piper hits him in the ribs then tries an actual wrestling move, hitting a neckbreaker for two.

Hall hits the shoulder blocks with the wristlock but Piper pulls the hair to take Hall down. Disco tries to interfere so Piper messes up his hair. There’s Disco’s career highlight. Hall takes a few atomic drops and Piper pokes him in the throat. Out to the floor for Piper to chase Disco but Hall rams him into the steps instead. Back inside and hall punches him down. Piper hits him low but Hall basically no sells it. Piper gets put in the Tree of Woe as Heenan says Hall is one of the top five in the world today. At what exactly?

Piper gets out of the corner and Tony praises him for doing it on his own. Off to the abdominal stretch and Piper is in trouble again. In a moment that gives me a small seizure, Heenan ACTUALLY EXPLAINS SOMETHING, saying that when Disco pulls on Hall’s arm, it’s not so much for the torque on Piper but also to prevent Piper from being able to move Hall around or hip toss him.

Disco lets go and Piper hiptosses out. Piper hooks the sleeper but Disco comes in to break it up. Disco gets beaten up and Nash runs in. Piper hits him too but Hall gets in a shot and covers with his feet on the ropes to win the title. Yeah, because SCOTT HALL is the right choice to give a title too. That gives the NWO the World, US and TV Titles. In 1999.

Rating: F. This match was awful. I mean really, PIPER VS. HALL IN 1999??? Who thinks that’s a good idea other than Piper, Hall and their mothers? Terrible match with neither guy being able to do much other than punches and really basic holds. Matches like these are the reason this company went under.

He spent most of 1999 on the injured list and would leave WCW in early 2000. After a two year run in Japan, Hall would return to the WWF with Hall and Nash in the NWO. Hall would face Steve Austin at Wrestlemania XVIII.

Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall

That’s a pretty big fall for Austin from main event to this in just a year. The injured Nash is with Hall here to try to make us believe Austin isn’t winning in a walk. Austin immediately stomps him down in the corner before Hall can even get his vest off. There’s the Thesz Press but Austin has to go after Nash on the floor instead of following up. Back in and Hall clotheslines him down for two as momentum shifts. Nash sneaks a turnbuckle pad off as the other two fight in the corner.

Austin gets whipped back first into said buckle pad and Nash adds a right hand for good measure. The fallaway slam gets two for Hall as does a hard clothesline. Hall stomps away at Austin’s ribs and Nash gets in another right hand to the head. Scott pounds away even more but Austin grabs a Stunner out of nowhere. Nash makes the save and decks the referee though, allowing for some good old NWO cheating.

Hall brings in a chair but Austin easily beats them both up and gives them both Stunners. No referee though but we get a replacement, only for Nash to drop an elbow on his back. The Outsider’s Edge is broken up and Hall is backdropped out to the floor. A bunch of referees come out to eject Nash as Hall sends Austin into the exposed buckle and hits a Stunner of his own (good one too) for two. Austin gets up and they do the EXACT same sequence but switch the people, allowing Austin to hit two Stunners to win it.

Rating: C. Again, much like everything else tonight, this was just a match. There was very little heat on this even though it was one of the better matches of the night. The big problem with most of these matches is that none of them feel special and that’s the case here. I mean….Austin vs. Scott Hall? Maybe four years ago, but in 2002? That doesn’t blow my skirt up.

That would pretty much be it for Hall in major promotions for a long time due to his substance abuse and alcohol issues. He would be fired from the WWF a few months later, pop up in the upstart TNA for a few months, then hit the indies for several years. Hall would pop up in TNA again in 2010 and win another set of tag titles with Kevin Nash under the team name The Band.. Here’s his final match before getting fired again for substance issues.

Tag Titles: The Band vs. Ink Inc.

Since Morgan isn’t champion anymore, there’s more or less no build here. Why would you need one of those? Ink Inc. CLEARLY is enough drawing power to not need an angle or a feud or anything pesky like that. Oh and clearly THESE TWO are the second best team in the company. Hall and Moore start us off. Wow I can’t stand these challengers.

Tenay and Taz continue their brilliance by pointing out that they number one contenders have had one match which they had after being named number one contenders. Brilliant guys. The Outsiders use all of their old favorites and it’s just not that interesting. I love Hall just standing there watching his partner getting the tar beaten out of him.

Down goes the referee as the spear misses. Young, armed with a kendo stick is here. Neal gets a spear on Nash though. That’s a bit surprising. Bubba comes out and yells at Nash before popping Neal with the stick. Oh here we go again. Young pulls Nash on top for the cover and the pin.

Rating: D. Seriously? THIS is the best tag title match they could come up with? That makes my head hurt. Just not an interesting match at all and boring to top that off. Horrible and likely worst of the night so far. The whole Band idea just doesn’t work but they keep going with it anyway.

Hall is one of the most interesting and saddening wrestlers in history. There’s incredible talent and knowledge there but he couldn’t control his demons. Thankfully he seems to be in much better shape now thanks to Diamond Dallas Page but it’s too late for his career. He had a lot of success but was never THE guy, though he seemed cool with that. If you’ve never seen them, check out some of his Razor Ramon matches as they hold up very well.

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Wrestler of the Day – January 15: Shane McMahon

Today we look at the Boy Wonder, a man who had the talent of a wrestler but was actually a businessman: Shane McMahon.

Shane debuted as a commentator on Heat in 1998 and never seemed to have anything to him from a physical standpoint. He was average size and appeared to be all talk. However he would eventually talk his way into the ring, with his second match being a tag team match for the European Title as he teamed with Chyna against HHH and champion X-Pac.

European Title: Shane McMahon/Kane vs. X-Pac/HHH

I think only Shane can win the title here and I have no idea if he has to pin Pac or not. HHH jumps Kane to start but he can’t really hurt him. Shane runs from the Game and immediately tags Kane back in. DX tries to double team the monster but they walk into a double clothesline. They try some High Low and Kane goes down, but he launches Pac to the floor on the kickout.

X-Pac goes after Shane but walks into a clothesline from Chyna. Apparently Kane can win the title too. A flying knee puts Kane down but only for a second. Kane takes him back down and hits the top rope clothesline. Shane wants in now and hammers HHH down which doesn’t work at all. Off to Pac and the fans are liking this a lot now. Chyna interferes again but Shane accidentally drills her. Bronco Buster is broken up by Kane but HHH knocks Kane to the floor. Chyna hands Shane the belt and a shot to the head of X-Pac gives Shane the title.

Rating: D+. This was a big mess but it gave the Corporation more reason to be hated. Shane wasn’t any good yet but obviously he would improve a lot. This was more about Chyna vs. DX though which was what it should have been about. That being said, it would all be pointless after Wrestlemania anyway. Match itself was nothing of note.

Shane would continue his feud with X-Pac for several months, including beating him to retain the title at Wrestlemania XV. The title would eventually be vacated as Shane retired as champion. His next feud would be over the thing that got Shane into more trouble than anything else: his family. Shane’s sister Stephanie started dating a wrestler named Test and Shane wasn’t happy. Therefore, a Love Her or Leave Her match was set up at Summerslam 1999 with simple stipulations: if Test wins, Shane leaves them alone but if Shane wins, they break up.

Test vs. Shane McMahon

This is a Greenwich street fight with love her or leave her rules. Test is dating Stephanie but Shane doesn’t approve. If Test wins, Shane stays out of their lives but if Shane wins then the relationship ends. Test has bad ribs but Shane has no backup due to Test injuring every member of the Mean Street Posse. Scratch that theory actually as they come walking out before the match. Thanks for wasting my time on the video of Test destroying all of them. The Posse has a couch set for them in the front row.

Test takes Shane down to start but Shane hits a quick spear back inside, only to be pounded in the corner. A backdrop puts Shane down as the Posse drinks champagne. Shane is sent HARD into the steps and then into the crowd for a drink to the head. Test catches Shane diving off the barricade and powerslams him down onto the floor. Shane staggers around ringside so Test launches him at the Posse to tip the couch over.

The injured Posse goes after Test and give Shane a mailbox of all things to crack over Test’s head. A street sign stuns Test again and there’s a framed portrait of the Posse shattered over Test’s head. That’s only good for two and the fans are getting into this. Shane does a great looking leapfrog and this a jumping back elbow to the face to put Test down. A corkscrew senton (Spiral Tap) of all things misses and Test comes back with right hands.

Another leapfrog is countered into a sweet powerbomb but Rodney of the Posse distracts the referee. Test’s big boot hits the referee but he clotheslines Shane to the floor. The street sign puts Shane down again but here’s the Posse again to take Test down. They load him onto the announce table so Shane can hit the top rope elbow through Test. For a non-wrestler, Shane can drop a gorgeous elbow.

The referee is back up (why did he need to be bumped? It’s a street fight) but Test kicks out at two. The fans are really getting into this. Pete accidentally hits Shane with a sign but Rodney hits Test with his cast. That’s only good for two and now the fans are fired up. Patterson and Brisco run out to take care of the Posse and make it one on one. Shane charges into the post and it’s a pumphandle slam followed by the flying elbow to get Shane out of Test and Stephanie’s lives.

Rating: B. This took a little bit to get going but the fans got into it at the end. It’s a great example of a story carrying a match rather than the wild brawling. This was full of weapon shots and interference, but the story behind the match made people care about it. The people were invested in Test and wanted to see him fight for the woman he loved. That’s a classic story and it’s going to work every time. Good stuff here.

Shane spent most of the next few months managing Big Show and helping him in his feud with the Rock in some handicap matches that aren’t important enough to talk about. Eventually Big Show and Shane split with Shane beating Big Show in a falls count anywhere match at Judgment Day 2000. A few months later Shane decided he wanted the Hardcore Title and stole it from Steve Blackman on Raw. Six days later Shane had to defend the title against Blackman at Summerslam 2000.

Hardcore Title: Shane McMahon vs. Steve Blackman

Shane took the title from Blackman with the help of a small army on Monday. Steve brings in a kendo stick so Shane runs to the apron. They throw the stick back and forth until Blackman offers him a free shot to the back. Shane picks up the stick but Blackman spins around to block it, starting a chase through the crowd. Blackman finally catches him with a trashcan shot and the beating begins. Shane gets caught in the crowd and some chops to the chest put him down.

We head back to ringside and a bicycle kick to the chest puts Shane down. A trashcan lid shot to the knees puts Shane down and a spinning shot to the back of the head does the same. We bring in more weapons now with trashcans and the hardcore sticks. The can goes over Shane’s head and pounds away with the sticks as JR makes Conan O’Brien references of all things. Blackman hits his belly to back suplex with the sticks (his finisher) but opts to throw Blackman around with a strap instead.

A snapmare off the top with the strap puts Shane down and Blackman puts on a half crab while pulling on the throat with the strap at the same time. This brings out T&A (Test and Albert) for the save and Test drops a top rope elbow onto the can lid onto Blackman’s chest. Shane starts his dancing punches but Blackman kicks the cane lid into his head. Albert takes Steve down again and Shane drops Blackman with a sign to the face.

They go up to the entrance with Test shoving what looked like a speaker over onto Blackman but Steve avoids to prevent death. Blackman finds a kendo stick to take the big guys down but Shane gets in a cheap shot. He runs away and climbs up the set like a crazy man and Blackman goes after him. They go WAY up into the air with Blackman hitting Shane in the back with the stick, knocking him probably thirty feet down onto a crash pad. Blackman climbs down a bit before dropping a big elbow to take the title back.

Rating: B-. Well that woke up the crowd a bit. The dives at the end looked GREAT with Shane continuing to prove that he’s a crazy man. Blackman never came close to this level again because he was just so boring, but this was quite a moment for him. The stuff before the wild part was better than I expected and this was the first match that felt like it belonged on a major show.

Shane’s next match was at Wrestlemania X7 against his dad Vince. The catch here was that Shane had bought WCW out from under his dad’s nose six days beforehand after feuding with him for months.

Vince McMahon vs. Shane McMahon

This is a street fight of course with Mick Foley as guest referee. Shane has some WCW “stars” in a private box. You can see Shawn Stasiak, Stacy Keibler and I think Bobby Eaton up there. Stephanie is here with Vince but Trish and Linda are being saved for later. Vince slaps Shane and we’re ready to go in a hurry. Shane gets pounded down in the corner but comes back with a spear and a bunch of elbow drops.

Stephanie gets in the ring and slaps Shane in the face, causing a chase sequence. Shane stops to hit Vince in the head with a sign before beating him over an over in the back. A clothesline off the barricade puts Vince down again before Shane whips him into the barricade. Shane blasts him in the back with a kendo stick over and over before peppering him with left jabs and a big right cross. Other than the brief flurry to start this is all Shane.

A monitor shot to Vince’s head knocks him out so Shane can put him on the announce table. For the big spot of the match, Shane loads up the top rope elbow through the table but Stephanie pulls Vince away, sending Shane crashing through the table. Here come Trish and Linda with Linda completely sedated. Vince wakes up and sees them there so Trish helps him to his feet, with an AMAZING cleavage shot.

Trish surprises everyone by slapping Vince, turning face in the process. Stephanie goes after Trish, triggering a catfight in the ring. Mick pulls Stephanie off of Trish, only to get slapped in the face for his efforts. Stephanie runs from Trish and does the worst looking fall in the history of bad looking falls to let Trish catch up before leaving the arena. Back at ringside Vince wakes up and calls his wife a very bad name but Foley stops any potential domestic violence. Vince is fine with that and blasts Mick in the back with a chair.

The oldest McMahon puts Linda into the ring as Shane is still out cold. Linda is sat in the corner of the ring in a chair as Vince throws Shane back into the ring. Now it’s time for four garbage cans to be thrown in as well so Shane can get beaten up yet again. Vince picks up the third can but as he takes too long, Linda stands up to an ERUPTION from the crowd. She kicks Vince between the legs to stun him, allowing Foley to come in and beat the tar out of the owner of the company. Mick knocks Vince down in the corner and Shane hits the Coast to Coast dropkick, sending a garbage can into Vince’s face for the academic pin.

Rating: B. All things considered, this was excellent. This is what you call intricate storytelling with at least five feuds/stories (Vince vs. Shane, Vince vs. Mick, Vince vs. Linda, Stephanie vs. Linda, Trish’s turn) being blown off in one single match. On top of that, the match wasn’t that bad with some decent bumps considering that they’re both non-wrestlers. The drama was the key here though and it worked REALLY well.

In the same month Shane fought Big Show in a last man standing match at Backlash. The story isn’t important but the ending spot warrants a mention.

Big Show vs. Shane McMahon

Show hits the ropes a few times before Shane comes out. Shane comes out to a version of Here Comes The Money here. He has that stupid book with the fable in it with him also. Shane hides under the ring but pops out with a kendo stick to get in some solid shots. Big old clothesline takes him down though and we head back into the ring. Shane gets some solid chair shots and finally takes Show down.

 

Shane goes to the floor and gets a bag. He puts a surgical mask on and some gloves before grabbing a rag to put over Show’s face. This works for the most part and Show goes down to his knees. Now down to his stomach. The fans are completely behind Shane here. At about five Vince runs down and pops Shane with a chair. Show, ever the genius, pulls Shane up at about 8.

 

Final Cut puts Shane down again as we wait around more while the referee counts. That’s a large portion of most last man standing matches and it takes too much most of the time. Show picks him up again and drops him with a chokeslam. He picks Shane up again despite Shane being mostly dead. Torture Rack goes on but here’s Test to pound on Show. They had a thing on Smackdown so this works.

 

Show beats him down also and the big men go to the floor. Up towards the stage and Test gets in some weapon shots to slow him down a bit. Show beats on him some more and here comes Shane again. After some sign shots by Shane, Show finds a pipe from somewhere. Shane climbs the set to escape and Show goes after him. Test pulls him down and beats him up, allowing Shane to hit a HUGE dive, as in literally 25 feet or so to crush Show with an elbow. Test holds Shane up with a boom mic and we’re done. That spot was insane beyond belief.

 

Rating: C. You can only get on Shane so much for these, but the whole thing is basically Show beats on him, Shane is dead, Show picks him up, repeat. That took twelve minutes somehow. The big spot was cool but it didn’t really save the match. Also the replays showing that he totally missed didn’t help.

 

One more from 2001 as it might be Shane’s best match ever. Shane had interrupted Kurt Angle’s Olympic celebration and gotten an Angle Slam as a result. The next step of course was a street fight at the 2001 King of the Ring.

Shane McMahon vs. Kurt Angle

It should be noted that this is one of my favorite matches ever so I’ll be biased in it. Wait, they’re my reviews so I’m biased towards myself, so it’s fine. Angle throws his medals down on the way to the ring so you know this is serious. Again, JR says that after I typed it so I win again. Angle is just beating the tar out of Shane to start here. And just as I say that Shane starts throwing lefts and fights back.

With Shane on the floor, Angle gets on all fours and wants to go amateur, which is more popular that pro in certain areas other than wrestling. Naturally Angle easily gets out and beats on Shane even more. In a nice looking move, Angle hits a gutwrench but it’s overhead instead of to the side. It looked cool. Angle is just throwing Shane everywhere. It looks like a squash but don’t worry. It’ll get better. Shane has had three punches and an armdrag.

He offers Shane another amateur attempt but this time Shane just punts him in the ribs. That’s followed by a jumping back elbow making him awesome. On the floor now, Shane gets on the railing behind JR and Heyman and jumps over both them and the table to hit Kurt with a clothesline in a sweet spot. The guy was athletic and no one can ever argue that.

It’s certainly more entertaining than seeing Vince out there making a fool out of himself. And we have a kendo stick which Shane can swing really well. He actually breaks it over Angle’s back which has to feel like agony. Shane uses armdrags on the floor to send Angle into the railing which is a nice spot. Shane goes for a cover and Angle bridges out of it. Think of the Matrix move.

Shane does the smart thing and just hits him in the stomach. Angle does this three times, showing off his stupidity. It’s weapons time now and Shane is dominating. Ankle lock by Shane and Kurt just kicks him in the face. Nothing wrong with that. We get a Sharpshooter attempt and Shane botches it but gets it eventually. It looks bad but it’s ok I guess. Granted almost no one gets it right so it’s fine.

Shane is just beating the heck out of Angle here. He puts a trash can on his stomach and goes to the top for a shooting star press which misses but looked solid. The fans get a holy censored chant going as they’re impressed here. We hit the floor again and Shane hits a suplex, which breaks Kurt’s tailbone. He’s legit hurt which makes the rest of the match even more impressive. His solution to Shane fighting back: slam Shane’s head into a wall. I like the simple ideas.

In the sickest bump you’ll see in years, Angle suplexes Shane over his head into one of the glass walls with KOR (what, no love for the?) on them. The problem is that it doesn’t break and Shane lands on his head which goes THUD. It sounded and looked SICK. Shane is more or less out of it.

Angle, ticked off that it didn’t work, picks him up and does it AGAIN, this time having it work, drawing another holy chant. Angle’s arm is bleeding. We’re under the stage now and Angle suplexes him again and AGAIN it doesn’t break. Shane is busted. Angle goes for another suplex and it doesn’t break. In essence, Shane is being thrown into a wall. Kurt is ticked and just picks him up and launches him through a glass wall.

Shane looks like he’s been beaten by an army and raped by a bear while being run over by a train. Angle is spent too. Everyone is just bleeding like there’s no tomorrow. Angle gets an anvil case and puts Shane on it to wheel him back to the ring. That’s a good idea as he’s just dead weight at this point. We’re back in the ring and Angle covers Shane. For two. The place pops like a freaking teenage girl for that. We get a replay where we can see Kurt’s face and he looks like he wants to cry.

A low blow connects and Shane isn’t dead yet. He gets a trash can lid and just pops the tar out of Angle and hits an Olympic Slam for two. Both guys are just freaking spent. Shane gets catapulted into the corner where he just kind of collapses. Angle gets a board from somewhere and just beats Shane about the back and shoulder with it. There’s something awesome about that.

He sets it up on the copes and climbs to the top where he this the Olympic Slam from the top rope. I would say Shane lands in the middle of the ring with a thud, but as they said in Con Air, “the word ain’t land. It’s crash.” They show a bunch a replays and the slam looks cooler and cooler ever time. I mean Shane just explodes on the mat and it looks amazing. Shane’s best match ever by about 1000 miles. They carry him out and he’s just gone. The Slam off the top got the pin if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: A. This was just freaking brutal. It’s a great street fight where you never really believed Shane was completely out of it. That’s a great thing to be able to say, but Shane took the best beating I can recall anyone taking in a long time. Find a copy of this match as it’s right up there with any beating I’ve ever seen.

Soon thereafter Shane would become the heel owner of WCW and participate in the horrible InVasion angle before taking nearly two years off from the ring. We’ll also skip his dreadful feud with Kane in 2003 and skip ahead to 2006 with Shane returning to the ring to help his dad in his feud with Shawn Michaels. They feuded for the entire summer with HHH being brought in to help his friend Shawn. However we’ll be looking at Backlash 2006 because I was in the arena for the match. In short, it’s Vince and Shane facing Shawn Michaels and God. I don’t think it needs any further explanation.

Shawn Michaels/God vs. Vince McMahon/Shane McMahon

Vince introduces God and we get a spotlight. His tron video is clouds and he comes out to harp and piano music. Vince stops and criticizes God before challenging him to a dance contest. I kid you not, this is really happening. The spotlights gets in the ring and Vince tells the referee to check him out. Vince makes the match no holds barred because the idea of Vince wrestling an actual match isn’t pleasing. Sexy Boy finally hits to end this stupidity.

Vince starts to run his mouth some more and Shawn finally drills him to get going. The daddy goes to the floor while Shawn beats up Shane. Shawn dives on Vince before clotheslining Shane to the floor and hitting a flip dive to take him out. Michaels chops Shane up the ramp but Shane comes back with knees to the stomach. Shane tries to piledrive Shawn off the stage but gets backdropped instead.

Shawn comes back but here’s Vince with a chair as they’re all on the stage now. Shawn blocks the shot and takes Shane down again before hitting a cross body on Vince off the stage. This looked like nothing live but it looked good on camera. Shawn climbs back up to the stage but gets hit in the face with the chair by Shane. Michaels is busted which I never noticed in the arena.

Shane and Shawn head back to the ring and Shawn goes into the post. Shawn gets sent into the barricade and then back into the ring as Shane is in complete control. The top rope elbow misses and both guys are down. Vince is on the apron now and apparently they have to tag. Shane DDTs Shawn down and it’s off to Vince. Vince takes his belt off and whips Shawn’s back because he’s that evil. Shane throws in a garbage can and Shawn gets his head caved in.

Vince wants a mic and taunts God a bit. God walks out and Vince says come back. Vince declares that God has left the building, but Shawn hasn’t. He stands Shawn up and tries a superkick but the kick gets caught. Shawn makes his comeback and hits the forearm and nip-up. Shane misses a chair shot and caves in Vince’s head by mistake. It’s a forearm for Shane followed by an atomic drop and some clotheslines. Shawn’s top rope elbow hits and both McMahons taste superkicks.

Shawn, ever the genius, doesn’t go for a cover but rather goes to the floor for a table. Make that two tables. My fellow Lexingtonians (yes that’s what they’re called) want ladders because much like other wrestling fans, they’re greedy people. Both McMahons are put on tables and here comes the ladder. It’s the jumbo sized ladder too. Shawn climbs up but has to dive on the invading Spirit Squad. That was incredible live but the camera didn’t get a great shot of it. The main problem was you didn’t see them until the dive so Shawn looked crazy.

The numbers catch up with Shawn and he gets beaten down by the five male cheerleaders who are currently tag team champions at this point. They throw Shawn back in and get the McMahons off the tables. The Squad takes Shawn into the ring and hit their finisher on him, which is them all picking him up at once and dropping him through a table. Vince gets the pin. JR calls this BS but the uncensored version.

Rating: D. The match was boring, but JR put it best during the match: this was uncomfortable. On top of that, the whole thing was stupid. This would set up a feud that ran for the whole year which didn’t work all that well either. It did lead to the reformation of DX which was pretty interesting, but dang this first part was torture to sit through. Not a horrible match but dang this was a chore to sit through.

I’ll skip over Shane coming back to help his dad with his feud against Randy Orton and Legacy and wrap things up there as this is WAY too long already. For a guy who wasn’t a wrestler, Shane could GO in the ring. He had the talent to be a full time wrestler if he got some more training but as he was, Shane was incredibly athletic and could have good matches with the right opponents. Yeah he stuck around a bit too long at times, but that could be said about any McMahon. Check out that Angle match though if you want to see one heck of a fight.

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