IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 12, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

We’re past Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground and that means we need to hit the hard push towards Redemption. Now that being said, there’s the whole fact that Alberto El Patron has been dropped from the main event due to being Alberto. Hopefully they’ve had time to record something to address the situation, as otherwise a big chunk of this show will be a big waste of time. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

We open with a long recap of the Impact vs. Lucha Underground show, including the announcement of Alberto no showing and the new Redemption main event of Austin Aries defending the World Title against Fenix and Pentagon Dark. Really, that’s better for everyone all around.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eli Drake with both briefcases….and an apology? He didn’t think much of the Tag Team Title briefcase but now he realizes he could have all the titles in this company in no time. At Redemption he’s picking up the Tag Team Titles but here’s LAX to interrupt. Konnan gets straight to the point of asking who Drake’s partner is going to be. Drake brings out Scott Steiner, looking like a grandfather more than anything else.

Steiner talks about how awesome the Steiner Brothers were and brags about being a World Champion on the NWO (wrong stable). They’ll win the titles but LAX doesn’t want to hear about it. Konnan laughs all of this off and says Steiner might beat Drake down before they even get to the match. Eli doesn’t care and says they’ll win anyway, but Konnan says play the LAX music so everyone can leave. Bringing Steiner in makes my head hurt, as it costs money and ignores the rest of the roster, many of whom could benefit from something like this.

The announcers talk about how awesome WrestleCon was and plug the rest of the card.

From December 1, 2016, Rosemary defeats Jade in a Six Sides of Steel match to win the Knockouts Title.

Sami Callihan vs. Moose

Moose wastes no time in hitting some running splashes in the corner, followed by a running hesitation dropkick. He can’t suplex Callihan to the floor though and gets clotheslined outside instead. A suicide dive sends Moose into the barricade but he’s right back with a weak apron powerbomb. The second attempt looks a little better so Sami is right back with a low blow to send us to a break.

Back with Sami hitting a running boot in the corner and walking into a powerbomb for his efforts. The chokebomb out of the corner gets two as the crowd is almost eerily quiet for this. Sami eventually pulls him down into a sunset bomb but walks into the Game Changer for two. Not that it matters as Sami hits him with the baseball bat for the DQ at 14:10.

Rating: D+. I’m just not feeling Sami and I never have. He’s a pretty standard brawler (though I’ve seen him crank it up before). At the same time, this is a pretty solid waste of Moose. He went from a Feast or Fired World Title case to getting beaten up by OVE. Maybe it’s me not caring for OVE whatsoever, but that’s quite the significant downgrade.

Post match the beatdown is on until Eddie Edwards runs in for the save. He’s beaten down as well so here’s Eddie’s wife Alisha to cover him up. The lights go out and it’s Tommy Dreamer (ERG) coming in for the real save with the kendo stick. Dreamer talks about fighting a war for his entire career so it’s a six man House of Hardcore match at Redemption. Cross promotion is fine, but my goodness why does it have to be Dreamer?

Josh Matthews vs. Petey Williams

Before the match, Josh blames Petey for the loss the Grand Championship and preventing Matt Sydal from being the World Champion. Tonight, he destroys the Destroyer. Josh hides in the corner to start and then bails to the floor and there’s no contact in the first two minutes. Sydal offers a distraction and Josh forearms Petey in the back so the chase is o again. Another distraction lets Josh forearm him down again but Petey is right back up with the Sharpshooter as Dutt is in stitches. That’s broken up with a distraction so Petey loads up the Destroyer, drawing in Sydal for the DQ at 3:57.

Rating: F. I’m not sure what the point of this one was but I know it was rather stupid. Matthews and Sydal’s spirit animal/spiritual guide thing isn’t working for me as Matthews should have been more like Michael Cole to Sydal’s Miz. Williams isn’t exactly thrilling me either but it’s not like much depth in the first place.

Petey gets beaten down post match.

Video on Brian Cage beating Bobby Lashley twice in a row.

Johnny Impact is tired of Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs interfering so here they are again. Impact wants a fight next week and it seems to be set.

We recap KM insulting Richard Justice (who is TOTALLY above being mocked) and setting up a six man tag tonight.

KM/Cult of Lee vs. Fallah Bahh/Tyrus/Richard Justice

Bahh cleans house to start by running Lee over and rolling over him for good measure. Justice comes in for some lefts and rights as we seem to be firmly in the comedy match zone to start. A few shots keep Justice in the wrong corner but it’s off to Tyrus in short order. Tyrus gets two off a Big Ending and everything breaks down. The Tongan Death Grip into a Banzai Drop puts KM away at 5:26.

Rating: D. Well that happened. They set up the match last week and then blew it off here with almost nothing significant happening. I get the idea here, but Justice has been there as a joke for months now (and not a very funny one at that) so I have it kind of hard to make myself care about his feelings being hurt. Nothing match of course.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary

This is a Demon’s Dance match, which seems to be another anything goes match. They waste no time in starting the brawl and head straight to the floor. Taya can’t hit the Road to Valhalla on the ramp but Rosemary can’t get the Red Wedding there either. Back to ringside with Taya throwing a bunch of chairs inside.

One gets wedged into the corner but Taya puts a second onto Rosemary in the corner, setting up some running knees. Another shot drives a chair between Rosemary’s legs for two but she’s right back up with a Sling Blade onto another chair. Now it’s ladder time but Taya gets in a suplex instead of being thrown into the steel.

The second attempt works better for Rosemary though and now it’s time for a table. Back in and Rosemary misses a charge into the chair to give Taya two. They head to the corner and neither can hit a super version of their finisher through a table. Instead Rosemary PILEDRIVES HER OFF THE MIDDLE ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE, which thankfully is good for the pin at 10:13.

Rating: B. These two beat the heck out of each other with that finish being a sight to behold. In theory this puts Rosemary on a path towards a match for the Knockouts Title but seeing her vs. Allie is almost hard to picture for some reason. If nothing else I don’t want to see her vs. Su Yung in a battle of too similar characters, so maybe Allie is the easier call. Either way, very fun brawl here with a nearly scary finish.

Here’s the same video that opened the show.

We wrap up the show with nearly ten minutes of highlights from Impact Wrestling vs. Lucha Underground. I’m guessing this was all they could do to replace an Alberto segment. If so, that’s perfectly understandable.

Overall Rating: D+. The main event helped but there’s only so much you can do with the rest of this show. It wasn’t the worst show in the world but my goodness I don’t even want to imagine how bad the show would have been with some more focus on Alberto. The stories are developing, though they’re just nothing that I’m all that interested in at the moment. Hopefully Redemption is a lot better, but at the moment I’m not exactly thrilled.

Results

Moose b. Sami Callihan via DQ when Sami used a baseball bat

Petey Williams b. Josh Matthews via DQ when Matt Sydal interfered

Tyrus/Fallah Bahh/Richard Justice b. KM/Cult of Lee – Banzai Drop to KM

Rosemary b. Taya Valkyrie – Super piledriver through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 5, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Sonjay Dutt, Josh Matthews

Things continue to change around here as many names seem to be either debuting or departing. There’s a lot going on at the moment, including the build to the first regular pay per view in about six months. It’s time to really start the build towards Redemption and a lot of that could take place tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The opening recap looks at Brian Cage beating Bobby Lashley in a big upset with the rematch taking place tonight. Austin Aries vs. Alberto El Patron gets some focus as well.

Opening sequence.

Here’s an annoyed Bobby Lashley to rant about everyone wanting to prove themselves against him. He’s not going to have Cage out here saying he proved something by winning once on a fluke. Come out here and do it again.

Bobby Lashley vs. Brian Cage

Lashley knocks Cage off the apron before a bell and hammers away without taking off his hat and shirt. Cage shrugs it off and gets two off an F5 but Lashley hides behind the referee to avoid the discus lariat. A low blow gets two on Cage and Lashley hammers away in the corner while Dutt mocks Josh for losing his title last week.

Cage grabs a German suplex and a Death Valley Driver for two more, followed by the apron superplex to drop Lashley again. Lashley gets in a superplex of his own for two and the spear is good for the same. Instead it’s the Drill Claw to put Lashley away at 8:06 for Cage’s second straight win over him.

Rating: C+. Nice power match here and another good way to make Cage look like the new monster now that Lashley is on his way out. There’s a good chance that this is Lashley’s last match with the company and that’s probably the best all around. There’s nothing left for him to do around here so go back to WWE and see what you can do there.

The announcers preview the show.

Here’s Allie for a chat. Allie isn’t afraid of Su Yung and ACTUALLY SWEARS as she demands that Yung come out here for a fight.

Allie vs. Su Yung

Non-title. Allie hammers away to start but the superkick is blocked with a kick to the ribs. Back from a very early break with Allie getting stomped down in the corner. Yung brings in the kendo stick but Allie knocks it away. A running dropkick sends Yung into the corner but here’s Braxton Sutter to beg Allie’s forgiveness. Allie doesn’t care and gets two off a Codebreaker but Yung hits her with the kendo stick for the DQ at 7:44.

Rating: D. Not a good match but clearly just there to advance us to the likely title match at Redemption. Yung is a more sinister Rosemary and that’s a good way to play off of Allie. She can be a good first title defense as Allie needs to get away from being Gail Kim’s fangirl for a long time. There’s potential in Allie, but she needs some big wins.

Rosemary wants to face Taya next week and finish this once and for all.

Matt Sydal and Josh Matthews rant about Austin Aries and want to get rid of him once and for all. Sydal is ready for Petey Williams at Redemption but next week, Josh will face Petey himself. Egads.

KM sends Richard Justice to the ring for a match.

Post break, KM comes to the ring and berates Justice for being a fat embarrassment to wrestling. Well yeah. After some more fat jokes, Justice starts crying. KM: “I’m sorry I have to say this to your face. I would have said it behind your back but my car only has a half a tank of gas.” Fallah Bahh comes in with Josh saying fat shaming is bad. The Cult of Lee comes in and beats down Bahh, bringing in Tyrus for the real save. A six man is likely for next week.

Eli Drake is ready to win the other briefcase so tonight he can swim in gold like Scrooge McDuck.

Taiji Ishimori vs. Johnny Impact

They fight over wristlocks to start until Johnny takes over with a headlock and front facelock. A dropkick puts Impact on the floor as the announcers try to dub him Johnny Gorgeous. Ishimori’s middle rope moonsault to the floor puts Johnny down again and they’re both a bit winded.

Back in and Johnny wins a slugout before taking Ishimori down without too much trouble. A standing shooting star gives Johnny two but his sunset bomb is countered into a hurricanrana for two. Not that it matters as Impact is right back with a running knee to the face, followed by Starship Pain for the pin at 7:55.

Rating: C+. Not bad here but the hyping of “FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER” was a bit of a stretch here. They’re both good, but I need something a bit stronger for that to be the match’s selling point. Johnny winning helps set him up for Kongo Kong, because Impact Wrestling is the kind of promotion where you have Alberto El Patron fighting for the World Title and Kongo Kong feuding with Johnny Impact.

Post match here are Jimmy Jacobs and Kong to destroy Impact. Johnny fights back and hits a dive to clear out the villains.

Long video on Aries vs. El Patron. Aries recently returned and won the World Title after fighting to get where he is. Alberto talks about being from Mexico and having to fight for his one shot. He was stripped of the World Title and needs a chance to get it back on his own (this is talked about with shots of the domestic violence headlines shown).

They both know they can’t get in the other’s head and they both need to be ready for the fight of their lives. Aries knows he can’t intimidate Alberto because he’s been on the biggest stage so he’ll just have to beat him. It’s about redemption for both of them. This ran nearly eight minutes and was really good stuff as there’s actually a story there.

Moose would love to win another briefcase.

Classic Clip: Kurt Angle vs. Jay Lethal from No Surrender 2007. That’s still a great job of putting someone over and I’m sure Angle had something to do with the decision.

LAX doesn’t care who leaves with the briefcase.

Moose vs. Eli Drake

Winner gets both briefcases. Moose wastes no time in dropkicking Drake outside and then lawn darting him onto the apron. Drake posts him though and we take a break. Back with Drake hitting a guillotine legdrop and hitting a powerslam. The E-LI-DRAKE elbow gets two and we hit the chinlock.

Drake gets the same off a neckbreaker but misses a charge and gets caught with a buckle bomb. The Game Changer hits the referee (erg) so here’s OVE to take out Moose. Cue Eddie Edwards for the save and Jake Crist takes a powerbomb from Moose. Drake picks up the bat and hits Moose in the face for two, followed by the Gravy Train for the pin at 13:38.

Rating: C. I’m so over OVE. They’re not entertaining, they’re not very good, and their whole thing is hitting someone in the face with a bat, which apparently doesn’t work very well. The match was just a match until the ending, when things got a little stupid. I like Drake winning though as he’s the more interesting of the two (better promo at least) and thankfully they’re leaving him in the main event at least for now.

Overall Rating: C+. Nice show this week with some good wrestling and story advancement as they’re getting ready for what should be a solid pay per view. They also got some stuff ready for next week, which is always a welcome addition to any show. Just deliver on what you’ve set up and things will be fine.

Results

Brian Cage b. Bobby Lashley – Drill Claw

Allie b. Su Yung via DQ when Yung used a kendo stick

Johnny Impact b. Taiji Ishimori – Starship Pain

Eli Drake b. Moose – Gravy Train

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: WWE

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 29, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

We’re about a month away from the next pay per view (with the well thought out REDEMPTION moniker) and that means it’s time to start filling in the card. Last week saw the Feast or Fired briefcases opened up, meaning we could be having title matches soon. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

Austin Aries arrived earlier today and ran into Josh Matthews and Matt Sydal. Aries applauds them for their title wins and Sydal can feel Aries’ energy in the X-Division Title. Option C is mentioned and Aries is willing to give Sydal a shot in a title for title match. As in the World Title against the Grand Championship. Josh freaks out but no one says no.

Petey Williams vs. Suicide vs. Rohit Raju vs. Taiji Ishimori

One fall to a finish. Suicide and Raju head outside so Ishimori spins Petey around by the wrist. All four are back in with Suicide atomic dropping Raju onto Petey’s back, followed by a running bulldog to take the two of them down. Ishimori 619s Suicide into a missile dropkick but Petey grabs a Sharpshooter.

Raju makes the save and dives onto Suicide and Petey as this is all over the place so far. Ishimori moonsaults onto all three and a series of rollups gets a series of near falls. Petey’s slingshot Codebreaker rocks Raju and Ishimori’s springboard senton drops Suicide. The Canadian Destroyer is broken up and Ishimori gets in the 450 for two. A second Destroyer attempt is enough to put Suicide away and give Petey the pin at 8:11.

Rating: C. The match was fun, albeit nothing that we haven’t seen before. What continues to drive me nuts though is Impact throwing Raju out there and saying he’s part of the Desi Hit Squad without explaining ANYTHING about them. I’ve only heard about the stable through news sites. I’m assuming there are videos and information about the group on Impact’s site but it’s not my job to go read outside resources to know what the heck is going on. Just give them a thirty second promo or let them show up for a match and everything is fine. But nah, just assume fans know what the heck you’re talking about.

Post match, Petey says he’s cashing in the briefcase at Redemption.

Eli Drake isn’t happy with having the Tag Team Title briefcase because he’s a one man show and should be World Champion. But never mind, because he has an idea.

The announcers have their weekly chat. Tonight: two matches from different promotions!

Eddie Edwards has gone to Dayton, Ohio to find OVE. Maybe he can leave his wife behind when a group of psychotic stalkers follow her to her hotel.

Su Yung vs. Amber Nova

Braxton Sutter introduces Su and looks very proud. Yung jumps her to start and the spinning Samoan Driver (Pain Switch) is good for the pin at 42 seconds.

Johnny Impact still wants to be World Champion when Jimmy Jacobs interrupts. Jimmy promises to burst Johnny’s bubble and makes Kongo Kong threats.

Taya Valkyrie is in the back but Rosemary walks atop some offices and throws a trashcan down, hitting her right in the face. The fight is on, in the overproduced way that Impact likes to shoot these things. Richard Justice tries to intervene but Rosemary dives onto everyone and Taya appears to be busted open.

From WrestlePro in Brooklyn.

KM vs. Fallah Bahh

Yes, this is seriously what we’re watching. Bahh knocks him away with the power of the belly and the rolling splash. A running clothesline drops Bahh and we’re clipped to another Bahh kickout as KM kicks away at the ribs. We hit the chinlock for a bit until Bahh fights up with a Samoan drop. A Banzai Drop misses and KM puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 4:12.

Rating: D. Sacre bleu, what a waste of their time. I know that they’re trying to stretch things out, but a guy as lame as KM getting a pin over a fairly popular act like Bahh is really the best that they can do? Good grief the classic clips are better than this. And it still looks like they’re in front of about 200 people in some nothing indy promotion. That’s not the presentation you want as even Ring of Honor looks better than this.

Video on Brian Cage vs. Bobby Lashley. Cage is the new monster on the block and Lashley didn’t like his help a few weeks ago. Tonight, a match.

Brian Cage vs. Bobby Lashley

They waste no time with the power lockup and neither can get much of anywhere. A hurricanrana sends Lashley down and a clothesline puts him on the floor as Cage gets the early advantage. Back in and Lashley gets two off a clothesline, followed by a neckbreaker for the same. Cage powers back up and sends him outside for a running flip dive. They both jump from the apron the floor but it’s Cage scoring with a series of kicks. Lashley slams him off the top though and we hit the chinlock.

That goes nowhere so Cage fights up and hits a springboard tornado DDT of all things. Josh: “HE SHOULDN’T BE ABLE TO DO THAT!” I can’t believe I’m saying this but Josh is absolutely right. Back up and Cage gets two off a floatover spinebuster but Lashley is right back with a running powerslam for two. Cage misses a discus lariat and gets speared to the floor for a delayed near fall. The second attempt at the discus lariat connects to give Cage the big upset at 11:03.

Rating: B. This was a lot of fun as Cage looks like the new beast on the block, which is exactly the point of this match. Cage pinning Lashley clean is a big deal for him and not something that happens very often. Lashley is on his way out so putting someone over clean like this is a great parting gift.

Gail Kim (WHY IS SHE STILL HERE??? She retired like five months ago and it seems like she’s barely ever missed a show) is doing her makeup when Allie comes in to ask for some advice. Gail tells her to go be the champion.

Classic Clip: AJ Styles vs. Petey Williams vs. Chris Sabin in Ultimate X from Final Resolution 2005.

Eli Drake offers to trade his case with Moose for the sake of winning two belts instead of one. That’s not happening, but for some reason Moose does agree to a case for case match next week.

Eddie Edwards invades a show in Ohio and goes after OVE and Sami Callihan with a kendo stick. The numbers start to get the better of him but Eddie takes Callihan’s baseball bat and cleans house. Since beating guys up with a baseball bat doesn’t work very well, Eddie gets beaten down again and a spike Tombstone leaves him laying.

Sami promises to destroy Eddie.

Video on Aries vs. Sydal.

Impact Wrestling World Title/Grand Championship: Austin Aries vs. Matt Sydal

Title for title with both guys defending. Aries has all four belts with him and has to make sure he holds up the right one. They fight over wristlocks to start (must have been watching WWE) as Alberto El Patron is watching the match in the back and enjoying a steak (Leftovers from his restaurant?). Matt bails to the floor and Aries lays over the top, followed by a basement dropkick to take us to a break.

Back with Aries holding a stump puller and firing off some kicks to the back and chest. The middle rope elbow to the back gets two as Sonjay continues to shine on commentary. Sydal comes back with a spinwheel kick and starts in on the leg. That goes nowhere so Sydal fires off some kicks but a springboard is cut off. Aries’ neckbreaker across the rope is broken up and the brainbuster is blocked as well.

Something like an Eye of the Hurricane with a leg instead of the arm drops Aries. A bridging German suplex gives Sydal two and Aries has to kick Matthews away. Now the neckbreaker works just fine and here’s Petey to scare Josh off. That leaves things one on one and it’s a running corner dropkick into the brainbuster to give Aries the Grand Championship at 20:35.

Rating: B. Pretty standard “big time” Impact main event here and that’s all well and good. Aries collecting (and hopefully retiring) another belt is the right call and it’s not like Sydal takes a huge hit when the World Champion pins him. Odds are we’ll get a tag match out of this soon enough with El Patron and Sydal against Williams and Aries, which should be a nice way to go.

Overall Rating: C+. The main event was good and Lashley vs. Cage was a heck of a fight, making this a better show than usual. The Bahh vs. KM match, while stupid, was at least short and didn’t hurt things too much. Other than that, the show went by fast enough and set up some things for the future, including a few things for Redemption. Nice night overall.

Results

Petey Williams b. Suicide, Rohit Raju and Taiji Ishimori – Canadian Destroyer to Suicide

Su Yung b. Amber Nova – Pain Switch

KM b. Fallah Bahh – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Brian Cage b. Bobby Lashley – Discus lariat

Austin Aries b. Matt Sydal – Brainbuster

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the paperback edition of the WWE Grab Bag (also available as an e-book) from Amazon. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/03/23/new-paperback-kbs-grab-bag/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 22, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s time to find out what happened last week in Feast or Fired. Tonight is the opening of the briefcases and that means three people are getting title shots while a fourth is getting fired. The firing isn’t the biggest surprise in the world but there’s still some interest elsewhere. Let’s get to it.

Here are last week’s results if you need a recap.

The case holders (Eli Drake, Moose, Petey Williams and Ethan Carter III) arrive as Josh recaps last week’s match.

Recap of Feast of Fired, in case the spoken version didn’t do it for you.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Alberto El Patron to say he can fight even if he’s in a suit. He’s ready to fight a real champion in Austin Aries, but Aries doesn’t know who really is the greatest man that ever lived. Cue Aries to talk about how they’re no so different. They’re willing to punch people in the face and they love professional wrestling.

Aries is the truth though and the title match is on for Redemption. Alberto says they both have something to prove so the title match is on. Did we really need to establish that twice? Aries says he’s short but the chip he’ll stand on makes him bigger. El Patron goes to leave as Austin’s music plays, but Aries says to play Alberto’s, because his won’t be playing to end Redemption.

The hosts are in the studio to preview the show with Josh thankfully not holding the Grand Championship.

Trevor Lee vs. Fallah Bahh

Lee makes the mistake of shoving Bahh and falls to the power of the belly. Bahh steps over his back but a Caleb Konley distraction lets Lee knock him to the floor. Back in and we hit a very quick neck crank for two (yes off a neck crank) before Lee thinks it’s a good idea to try a sunset flip. That earns him the sitdown splash so Konley tries to come in. Bahh rolls over both of them in a row but takes too long going up, allowing Lee to roll him up from the middle rope for the pin at 5:28.

Rating: D. Bahh is rapidly falling into the trap of wrestlers his size: he does the same stuff over and over again and the impact goes away. We get it: he’s big, he shouts a lot and he rolls over people. That’s only going to get you so far and Bahh is already there. I’ve never gotten the appeal and while he’s not terrible, if you’ve seen one of his matches, you’ve seen all of them.

OVE is stalking Alisha Edwards (Eddie’s wife) in her hotel. Eddie sees it and runs off as OVE gets to her door.

Petey Williams is ready to open his briefcase and become X-Division Champion again once and for all.

X-Division Title: Rohit Raju vs. Matt Sydal

Sydal is defending and has Josh Matthews in his corner, meaning Sonjay is alone on commentary. Matt takes him into the corner but lets him out with a peace sign. An armbar allows them to turn up the pace a bit until Sydal charges into an elbow. That’s about it for Raju at the moment as Matt takes him down into a Muta Lock.

As usual it’s not enough for a submission so Raju comes back with a neckbreaker as we take a break. Back with Sydal getting two off a standing moonsault but Raju hits a running knee to the head. A German suplex cuts Raju off and the shooting star connects to retain Sydal’s title at 11:24.

Rating: C. Raju is another example of Impact not knowing how to introduce new characters. He just showed up a few weeks ago and the company acts like we know who he is. I’m assuming he had some videos put up on YouTube or their website, but TELL US SOMETHING ABOUT HIM! If he’s good enough to get a title shot and be in Feast or Fired, he’s worthy of an explanation.

Moose is ready to become World Champion and is glad he gambled on Feast or Fired.

Eli Drake is ready to get his World Title back. They can strike him down but he’ll be back even stronger. He’s the Obi-Wan Kenobi of Impact Wrestling.

Knockouts Title: Allie vs. Sienna

Allie is defending and Sienna jumps her before the bell. A crossbody is pulled out of the air and Sienna gets two off a slam. Forearms work a bit better for Allie and a Codebreaker (actually called that) gets two. Sienna gets the same off a discus lariat but Allie slips out of the AK47 and superkicks her down to retain at 3:55.

Rating: D+. What happened to Sienna? She used to be the most dangerous woman in the division and now she’s losing clean in about four minutes. On the other hand, Allie is on a roll and even though it’s a year late, it’s nice to see her getting to showcase her skills. There’s a ton of value in Allie and it’s about time Impact is giving her a chance.

Post match Braxton Sutter comes out to try and reconcile with Allie, only to call her Laurel by mistake. Allie’s sideways glare is great. Sutter proposes and Allie doesn’t seem impressed, but the debuting Su Yung comes in from behind and beats her down. A twisting Samoan Driver leaves Allie laying, much to Sutter’s delight.

Ethan Carter III says he’s going to get the World Title shot but a bunch of people walk by, saying he’ll be fired.

Classic Clip: Abyss vs. Mick Foley in Monster’s Ball from Bound For Glory 2009.

Eddie arrives at the hotel (of course with cameras waiting on him), runs into the room and finds….his wife safe in bed. Then HE LEAVES, only to bump into Sami Callihan (dressed as a maid) so the brawl can break out. Sami gets the better of it and Alisha comes out to check on Eddie, earning herself the thumbs down from Callihan. I’m still trying to get over Eddie LEAVING HIS WIFE IN A HOTEL ROOM WHEN A GROUP OF CRAZY PEOPLE ARE STALKING HER.

The announcers preview the rest of the show.

We recap Jimmy Jacobs/Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park, who has become Abyss again. Tonight it’s Monster’s Ball.

Abyss vs. Kongo Kong

Anything goes and Abyss has James Mitchell in his corner. Abyss wins an early slugout but Kong runs him over and pounds away. A trashcan to the head puts Kong on the floor though and we take a break. Back with Kong getting slammed off the top and Abyss grabbing the bag of tacks.

Rating: D. If this is their big idea to make Kong into the next big thing, they need to go back to the drawing board. By that I mean they need to get rid of Kong and find anyone else because he’s not going to work no matter what they try. Next up likely means a World Title chase because that’s what would annoy me the most.

It’s time to open the briefcases so Williams, Moose, Drake and Carter are in the ring.

First up is Eli who gets….a Tag Team Title shot. Drake: “What am I supposed to do with this?”

Next up is Williams who gets….an X-Division Title shot. He seems happy.

Before we open the final two cases, Moose says he’s winning. Carter says see you never Moose because he’s about to be fired. It’s Moose getting the World Title shot and Carter has reality set in very quickly. He’s frozen in place and can’t open the case, eventually saying that’s not his case. It’s Ishimori’s case but JB opens it instead.

Carter thinks it’s a joke and calls this whole thing a dumb idea. Is King of the Mountain next? He’s held this company on his perfectly symmetrical back for years now. Carter goes into a crazed rant about all of his accomplishments, including being Dixie Carter’s nephew. He finally calms down….and then beats JB up with the briefcase. Brian Cage comes in for the save and it’s a Drill Claw to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The two main focal points of this show were the Feast or Fired reveals and Monster’s Ball. That would come down to a major result that was spoiled nearly two months ago and a match with one of the most low rent acts I’ve ever seen in this or any other company. What exactly were they expecting to work about this show? Yung’s debut was good and the opening segment worked well, but other than that, this was a pretty lame show.

Results

Trevor Lee b. Fallah Bahh – Rollup

Matt Sydal b. Rohit Raju – Shooting star press

Allie b. Sienna – Superkick

Kongo Kong b. Abyss – Top rope splash

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 15, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

Things are entering a new phase here as we’re done with Crossroads, meaning it’s time to get ready for the next big show. While that hasn’t been announced yet, there is at least a hint of the upcoming World Title feud with Alberto El Patron staring down Austin Aries last week. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s episode if you need a recap.

Jeremy Borash (flashback time) is with everyone involved in Feast or Fired. The point of this: they’re all in Feast or Fired.

Recap of Crossroads. That really was a good show.

Opening sequence.

Sami Callihan vs. Fallah Bahh

Sami bounces off the huge Bahh and gets knocked into the corner by the power of the belly. The third knockdown has Sami bailing to the floor for a meeting with OVE. Their advice: shout a lot. Back in and Bahh takes him down to put a toe in Sami’s mouth. What’s the massive appeal of this guy again? Granted that could be said of Sami as well.

Callihan finally pulls him down by the head for a breather and some stomping keeps Bahh down for all of two seconds. A belly to belly plants Sami for two as the announcers plug the WrestleCon show. The Samoan drop connects but Sami is back up with a low blow and a Death Valley Driver (not bad) ends Bahh at 5:48.

Rating: D. Standard Yokozuna formula match here and that’s all you can do with someone Bahh’s size. I’m still not big on Callihan so keeping him short here was the right call. At least he didn’t horribly maim anyone this time around so things are looking up. As long as they keep Callihan around this level, everything will be fine. I’m worried that he’ll be moving up soon though and that’s just not a good idea.

Post match OVE loads up the chair and the bat on Bahh but Eddie Edwards runs in for the save with a pipe.

Matt Sydal is ready to unveil his spirit guide.

The hosts talk about the big stories with Josh dressing a little beneath the professional standard.

Classic Moment: Feast or Fired 2008.

Austin Aries has a sitdown interview and talks about having a pretty cool month. He plugs his new book and being vegan but here’s Alberto who needs to talk to Aries right now. Alberto welcomes him to the promotion (or back to it) before shifting to never losing the World Title. He brings in some wine and what looks like a steak but Aries will stick with the banana.

Alberto is offended and Aries tells him to chew with his mouth closed. They have a chew off until Aries stands up and Alberto backs off. He even hands Alberto a free book because he’s making a champion’s money now. Aries: “You remember what that feels like?” Alberto leaves and Aries has some wine.

Kiera Hogan comes up to congratulate Allie on her win and giggling ensues. Braxton Sutter comes in and wants to talk to Allie but she isn’t interested.

Here are Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs for a chat. Jimmy says he loves to hear himself talk because words have power. If you think he and Kong have done a lot to get Abyss back, you haven’t seen anything yet. Cue James Mitchell of all people, who says that he sees a lot of himself in Jacobs. They’re both evil geniuses and Kong is an impressive monster, though James has one of his own. He sold his soul to make Abyss World Champion but eventually the note came due.

Abyss was pushed so far that his personality split into Joseph Park. Mitchell doesn’t like what he’s been seeing done to the Park family (Wait, is Park a real person or a made up personality? How can he have family if the personality isn’t real?) but Jacobs doesn’t want to hear the lecture. Actually, James is here to thank him for bringing the monster back. Cue Abyss and the brawl is on with Kong being knocked to the floor. Next week: Monster’s Ball. Nice segment, but the idea of where Kong is going after the feud with Abyss scares me.

Video on Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary and their fight to be the queen of the Knockouts. Of course this is different than being Knockouts Champion but that goes without saying.

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie

Rosemary wastes no time with a spear and right hands to send Taya outside. That’s fine with Rosemary who spears her off the apron and hits a high crossbody back inside. A charge hits post though and Taya kicks her hard in the ribs to take over. Rosemary snaps back up with a German suplex before biting Taya’s leg.

That earns her a double stomp though and Taya rams the painted face into the corner. Taya makes fun of the ROSEMARY chants and hits a hard faceplant. The Road to Valhalla is broken up but a curb stomp knocks Rosemary silly. A moonsault misses though and Rosemary hits a Cactus Clothesline to send them both outside. They keep slugging it out and that’s a double countout at 7:33.

Rating: C-. I like that ending a lot as there’s no need to have the feud end already or to have one of them get a clean fall. This is the kind of thing that could be done far more often as there’s no definitive winner and the feud should continue. They also have chemistry together and a big, violent gimmick match could be a lot of fun.

Post match Taya gives her another Road to Valhalla on the stage.

An anxious Eli Drake is on the phone and Chris Adonis (never shown) isn’t going to be here tonight. Drake fires him from whatever official role he had. I’m actually surprised that they’re acknowledging Adonis walking out on the company and it’s very nice for a change of pace. All it took was a thirty second segment and Adonis is wrapped up for good.

Ethan Carter III talks about it being his destiny to get the right briefcase and become World Heavyweight Champion again.

Aries vs. El Patron is confirmed for the Redemption pay per view on April 22.

Next week: Allie defends the Knockouts Title against Sienna and Monster’s Ball.

Earlier today, Brian Cage was in the empty Impact Zone when Bobby Lashley came in. Lashley didn’t need the help but if Cage wants a fight, all he has to do is ask. Cage walks away.

LAX is watching Feast or Fired to find out who is up next.

Here’s Matt Sydal to announce his spiritual guide: Josh Matthews. Dutt loses his mind as Josh comes to the ring to talk about how he’s enlightened. He’s spent months trying to enlighten the fans and now wants us to put our hands together and center ourselves. Josh presents him with something like a cat mask, which Sydal calls his spirit animal. Matt says if he’s a champion, so is Josh, and he hands him the Grand Championship. Dutt: “That’s it I quit.” I like the idea of Josh as a heel but….this is a bit out there no?

Feast or Fired

Eli Drake, Tyrus, Petey Williams, KM, Moose, Caleb Konley, Trevor Lee, Ethan Carter III, Rohit Raju, Taiji Ishimori

Dutt is now on commentary by himself. There’s a briefcase above each corner with three title shots (World, X-Division and Tag Team) plus a pink slip. Four people will get cases and the rest get nothing. It’s a brawl to start (as it will likely be all match) until we’re down to Drake and Moose alone in the ring. That’s a bit too much in the ring though as they fight outside, only to be replaced by Raju and Ishimori.

Petey comes back in with some dropkicks as this is firmly in the revolving door period. The Cult of Lee comes in and beats the X-Division guys down for a bit but are dropkicked outside as well. Naturally Ishimori dives onto the floor instead of going up, leaving Petey to hit a Canadian Destroyer on Lee. Petey gets Case #2 and we take a break. Back with Dutt telling us no one got a case during the break (thank you) and Moose cleaning house.

Carter cuts him off with an elbow but Moose makes a save and gets Case #4. Josh rejoins commentary as Ishimori takes his shirt off. The Cult of Lee gets beaten down by Raju but here’s the angry Tyrus to start tossing the suplexes. Carter cuts him off with a low blow though and Case #3 is collected. He even knocks Tyrus silly with a case shot for good measure. Ishimori is alone on top but decides to crossbody Drake instead. A few Gravy Trains and a run up the ropes for a release German superplex allow Drake to pull down Case #1 at 17:50.

Rating: D+. This is one of those matches where it’s really hard to give it a grade. The action was nothing to see and since most of the people involved aren’t hurt by their outcome, it makes for a weird match. It wasn’t one of the more interesting Feast of Fired matches, but then again these are hard to make interesting by definition.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s never a good sign when I can barely remember what happened on the show just after it ended. The wrestling wasn’t the point here but you can see a lot of where they’re going for Redemption. At least they started setting stuff up here as they don’t have a ton of pay per views in the first place. Use the time you have and set something up. Not a terrible show here at all, but the lack of people to fill out the card due to the main event hurt things.

Results

Sami Callihan b. Fallah Bahh – Death Valley Driver

Rosemary vs. Taya Valkyrie went to a double countout

Petey Williams, Moose, Ethan Carter III and Eli Drake won Feast or Fired

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 8, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s a big show tonight with Crossroads. The name doesn’t really mean anything but it’s a stacked card with Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact as the main event. Last week’s show saw Sami Callihan crush Eddie Edwards’ face with a baseball bat so you can almost guarantee some fallout there. Let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s show if you need a recap.

In the studio, Dutt and Matthews run down the card and talk about how important tonight is.

We recap LAX vs. the Cult of Lee, which boils down to “LAX needs challengers and the Cult of Lee is all we have”.

Tag Team Titles: LAX vs. Cult of Lee

LAX is defending and jumps the Cult before the bell. They slug it out on the floor with Caleb Konley throwing Ortiz into the steps to take over. We finally settle down to Santana and Konley in the ring with a Lionsault/legdrop combination crushing Caleb as we take a break. Back with Santana hitting a running kick to the face to put Lee down. The hot tag brings in Ortiz for some running ax handles and a backdrop.

The champs start their double teaming, followed by the barrage of flip dives. Back in and some hard forearms into a superkick rock LAX, followed by a Samoan Driver for two on Santana. Ortiz hits a quick suplex into a Stunner but Lee breaks up the Street Sweeper. Konnan offers a quick distraction though and now the Street Sweeper puts Konley away at 13:00.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t interesting coming in but the action more than made up for it. The problem of course is where do the champs go from here, but odds are it’s going to be a long series of rematches with the Cult. Hopefully they’re like this though as it was a lot of fun and better than I ever would have expected.

Bobby Lashley doesn’t have a partner tonight but is ready to face OVE on his own tonight.

Classic clip: Monty Brown vs. Christian.

We recap Taiji Ishimori vs. Matt Sydal in a title for title match. Grand Champion Sydal has been following the advice of his spirit guide and won the title as a result. Now the guide has told him to go win the X-Division Title as well.

X-Division Title/Grand Championship: Taiji Ishimori vs. Matt Sydal

Title for title. I didn’t hear a bell ring but it’s a feeling out process to start with Sydal taking him up against the ropes and saying PEACE twice in a row. Ishimori spins out of a wristlock as the announcers make fun of internet reports. Sydal takes him up top but gets shoved down, followed by a jumping Codebreaker as we take a break.

Back with Ishimori holding a chinlock but getting slammed head first into the mat for the break. A half crab keeps Ishimori down and a reverse Muta Lock makes things even worse. Ishimori fights up and hits a running kick to the chest, followed by a Vader Bomb double stomp (I still don’t get how that doesn’t crack a rib) for two. A modified TKO (Sydal’s back was against the back of Ishimori’s head) gets two more but Sydal snaps off a middle rope hurricanrana to get things to even.

Sydal is sent outside and Ishimori gets a running start down the ramp for a hurricanrana. Back in and they exchange near falls until Sydal’s jumping knee t the face drops Ishimori. The shooting star misses and Ishimori’s Tombstone gutbuster puts him down. The 450 hits knees though and Sydal hits the shooting star for the pin at 16:25.

Rating: B. Heck of a match here with both guys hitting each other with everything they had. The clean ending is kind of surprising but hopefully this leads to the end of the Grand Championship. This show just doesn’t need that many titles floating around, especially when the Grand Championship is just a standard midcard title anymore.

Allie is ready to win the Knockouts Title back because she’s grown as a Knockout. She’ll dedicate the win to Gail Kim. WELL OF COURSE SHE WILL!

We recap Allie vs. Laurel Van Ness. Laurel is all crazy and such but Allie is growing up and immune to her mind games.

Knockouts Title: Laurel Van Ness vs. Allie

Laurel is defending and Allie jumps her in the aisle to start. They head inside with Laurel hammering away and pounding Allie in the face on the mat. Laurel misses a dive off the top though and walks into a Codebreaker for a double knockdown. Allie suplexes her into the corner and takes Laurel outside where the champ is sat in a chair.

A running elbow drops Laurel but she grabs an Unprettier onto the floor to knock Allie silly. That’s only good for nine so Laurel stomps away back inside and a curb stomp sends Allie face first into the buckle. Laurel grabs the belt but walks into a Death Valley Driver. A superkick is enough to give Allie the title back at 8:40.

Rating: C. This didn’t have time to really go anywhere but Allie getting the title back should have happened about a year ago. It’s nice to have her FINALLY get to do something positive instead of being a glorified joke. Good enough match here too, but it’s really just a way to get the title off of Laurel before she leaves the promotion.

Post break, Gail congratulates Allie. Good, now go away.

Austin Aries is sore from carrying the world on his back. Tonight, he’s ready to defeat Johnny Impact because he doesn’t take nights off.

We recap OVE vs. Lashley. OVE decided to go after a big prize like Lashley but Eddie Edwards came to Lashley’s aide. Then Sami Callihan crushed Eddie’s face with a baseball bat, making this a handicap match.

Lashley vs. OVE

Lashley clotheslines them down on the ramp and then suplexes both of them inside. Some kicks to the ribs take Lashley down though and we take an early break. Back with Lashley still in trouble but here’s Brian Cage to tag himself in and start cleaning house. Dave is sent to the floor so Sami comes in with the baseball bat. That earns him a spear though and Cage Drill Claws Jake for the pin at 9:56.

Rating: D. This was more of an angle than a match and really, that’s fine. It’s not like there was a ton of motivation from OVE in the first place so having them lost (in dominant fashion) to Cage was a good idea. Not a good match or anything, but it’s fun to see Cage destroy people as he’s exceptionally good at doing so.

Post match Cage won’t shake Lashley’s hand.

Johnny Impact has more names than Aries has titles but he doesn’t call himself the greatest man that ever lived. He’s not that insecure and only wants the Impact World Title. Tonight is his night.

Feast or Fired is back next week.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact

Johnny is challenging. Feeling out process to start with Aries rolling into the corner for a standoff. Aries jumps over him in the corner and snaps off an armdrag into an armbar. That’s broken up so Aries settles for a basement dropkick instead. Back from a break with Johnny hitting a jumping fall away slam and grabbing a cobra clutch with a body scissors. Johnny lets go but Aries breaks up a springboard by knocking the legs out.

Aries follows him to the floor with an ax handle and a middle rope elbow to the back gets two. The sliding German suplex gets Johnny out of trouble and a double springboard Flying Chuck gives him a near fall of his own. A leg lariat and the standing shooting star give Johnny two more but Aries is right back with the Last Chancery.

Johnny gets a foot on the ropes for the break and manages to catch Aries on top with a Spanish Fly. That’s not enough for the Countdown to Impact as Aries blasts him in the face and pulls Johnny to the apron. A Death Valley Driver on the apron knocks Johnny silly, followed by the brainbuster to retain the title at 18:11.

Rating: B+. These two know how to have a big match against each other and that’s what we got here. I could have used a story between them but that’s just not the way Impact does big time matches like this. Aries winning is another big deal for him and whenever he loses, the new champion is going to look like a big deal, which is very important for a reign like this.

Alberto El Patron comes out to applaud Aries to end the show. Well where would we be without Alberto getting a title shot?

Overall Rating: A-. Heck of a show here, as is usually the case with these specials. They don’t try to be anything more than a bunch of very good matches and that’s what we got here. The problem of course is going back to the storytelling episodes, which are rarely the strongest things in the world. Impact knows how to do something like this very well though and they did it again here.

Results

LAX b. Cult of Lee – Street Sweeper to Konley

Matt Sydal b. Taiji Ishimori – Shooting star press

Allie b. Laurel Van Ness – Superkick

Austin Aries b. Johnny Impact – Brainbuster

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com, follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: March 1, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s the week before the big Crossroads show and that means it’s time to build things up a bit. Next week’s main event will see Austin Aries defending the World Title against Johnny Impact in what could be an awesome match. Other than that though we’re likely in for more build towards Abyss vs. Kongo Kong, because that’s what we need to see. Let’s get to it.

Need a recap?  Here’s last week’s review.

The opening video looks at Ethan Carter III and Tyrus reuniting and then splitting up in very short order. That’s the smart move considering Carter is leaving.

Opening sequence.

Ethan Carter III vs. Tyrus

Carter runs his mouth (as is his custom) and is promptly shoved out to the floor. Back in and Carter gets shoved outside again as Josh talks about all the other companies they’ll be visiting soon. Carter stalls a lot, including messing with a fan’s phone, before going back in to have his arm cranked.

Chops and running clotheslines have no effect on Tyrus and it’s Carter being crushed in the corner. A charge misses though and Carter gets in a few shots to the back. Carter’s middle rope ax handle drops Tyrus and we hit the cravate. Tyrus shrugs it off and hits a corner splash before hitting his own 1%er. The Tongan Death Grip slam is enough to end Carter at 8:13.

Rating: D+. Assuming this is it for Carter, I’ll give this one a break with him leaving the company for blacker and yellower pastures. It’s certainly a better way to have him go out than having Dixie Carter grab his foot and beg him to stay. I’m not sure on Tyrus being the one to get the rub but it’s better than having Carter just leave.

Joseph Park is going to fight Kongo Kong tonight on his own, but neither he nor his family seems to give him much of a chance.

OVE and Sami Callihan say this is no longer fun and games. Violence takes place tonight.

Josh and Sonjay are in a studio to preview the rest of the show. Better than them saying they’re ringside every week.

El Hijo de Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter

Hijo’s Latin American Championship isn’t on the line and there’s no entrance for Sutter. Hijo shoulders him down to start as Josh plugs the network, featuring a bunch of names that aren’t around anymore. Some clotheslines put Fantasma down for two but the chinlock doesn’t last very long. A backbreaker gives Fantasma two and a jumping superkick puts Sutter on the floor for the hard suicide dive. Back in and Sutter powerbombs him for two with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Fantasma’s Thrill of the Hunt (Samoan Driver) is good for the pin at 5:14.

Rating: C-. This felt like angle advancement more than anything else as Fantasma is now a big deal around here because he’s a big deal in AAA. Sutter on the other hand….what happened? He and Allie should have been moved up several notches last year off the wedding angle but instead we’re here, seeing him losing in five minutes. I’m sure this was the best possible use for him though.

Post match Sutter yells about how Allie isn’t here because she ruins lives. He’s the biggest star in the company….and cue Brian Cage to wreck Sutter in short order.

Matt Sydal wants to share his spiritual adviser with the world.

Sydal is ready to win the X-Division Title next week but Taiji Ishimori comes in with his own scroll, asking if Sydal will make it title for title. No answer is given.

Kongo Kong vs. Joseph Park

Park goes after him but gets dropped with a single shot to the chest. Kong hammers away in the corner and Park’s headbutt knocks himself down. The top rope splash puts Park away at 2:14.

Post match Jimmy Jacobs gets in while Kong chokes Park. They still want Abyss and this is just getting started.

The Cult of Lee is having a party when the Mumbai Cats come in. After making fun of the masked men and not letting them have a drink, Konnan comes in to wonder why the Cult of Lee isn’t doing cartwheels in Wonder Woman bikinis. They say Konnan is here before and if you don’t know what’s coming, you haven’t been watching wrestling long. LAX throws Lee and Konley into the pool.

Alberto El Patron should be #1 contender. Well to be fair he hasn’t had a World Title match in like two weeks at this point.

Rosemary vs. Hania

Rosemary wastes no time in hammering away at the chest and gets two off a clothesline. A very early Red Wedding attempt is broken up but Rosemary is right back up with her figure four neck lock over the ropes. Hania gets dropped with a dropkick and a t-bone suplex for two. A spear into the Red Wedding is good for the pin on Hania at 3:13. Total squash.

Rating: D. Odds are that’s it for Hania and other than a look, I’m not sure what else she had to offer. This was complete destruction with Hania getting in absolutely nothing, which should tell you that she’s either done or not exactly thought of in the first place. Rosemary getting back towards the title is a good idea though and she should be going after the title in short order.

Post match Rosemary says Hania was just a puppy and now it’s time to bring the Knockouts Title back to the shadow. Rosemary dubs herself the Alpha B**** but here’s the returning Taya Valkyrie to disagree. Taya says the only truth in that is the B**** part but it should be Taya’s, not Alpha. They both go to the apron but Taya jumps her from behind. The Road to Valhalla on the ramp drops Rosemary.

This week’s classic clip: Eddie Edwards wins the World Title from Bobby Lashley.

We get a somewhat creepy video on Laurel Van Ness’ rocky road, including her near wedding to Braxton Sutter, going crazy, nearly marrying Grado, and now her commitment ceremony to the Knockouts Title.

KM, the minister for the ceremony, brings the title, with a bow tie, to the ring. Laurel comes out in a dress with the lipstick being all over the place as usual. She wants him to get to the good part, meaning the objections. Cue Braxton, now in a neck brace, to interrupt. He was dropped on his head earlier and Laurel flashed before his eyes. A year ago, he made a huge mistake when he left her at the altar. He proposes, but she screams NO over and over. KM: “EPIC FAIL BRO!” Laurel asks for more objections and even shouts a request for them. Cue Allie, in a black body suit which isn’t really necessary as she’s sneaking in, to jump Laurel and ruin the ceremony.

The announcers preview next week’s show.

Video on Austin Aries vs. Johnny Impact for the World Title next week.

Sami Callihan vs. Eddie Edwards

Eddie sends him outside for the suicide dive five seconds in but Sami rolls back in to hit one of his own eleven seconds in. Eddie hits another though and we get to thirty seconds on the replays. Some chops rock Sami and OVE is ejected for a distraction. Sami gets in an apron kick to the face though and we take a break. Back with Eddie fighting out of a chinlock and chopping away, but getting caught in a piledriver on the apron. Since this is a regular TV match though, Sami doesn’t even bother to cover.

Eddie fights out of something like a standing Crossface and kicks Sami in the face to catch him on top. A superplex brings Sami back down for no cover as Eddie can’t follow up. The Backpack Stunner gets two but Sami is right back with the running knee in the corner. A slingshot suplex neckbreaker gives Sami two and an exchange of kicks to the head puts both guys down. Sami loads up a powerbomb but Eddie backdrops into a cradle for the pin at 15:04.

Rating: C+. I liked this better than most Sami matches as it actually felt like a match. I’m still not sure why Sami and OVE are going after Lashley and Eddie but I’m guessing it’s something to do with the team being insane. Eddie winning makes sense as it’s not like a member of the team losing a singles match to a former World Champion is a huge blow.

Overall Rating: C. You can see where they’re going with a lot of stuff and they set up next week’s show well enough. The World Title match didn’t need a ton of hype as that’s big enough on its own standing. The wrestling wasn’t anything great here but at least we’re getting towards the big show. If that works, then this doesn’t matter nearly as much. Pretty standard buildup show here and I can settle for that.

Results

Tyrus b. Ethan Carter III – Tongan Death Grip slam

El Hijo de Fantasma b. Braxton Sutter – The Thrill of the Hunt

Kongo Kong b. Joseph Park – Top rope splash

Rosemary b. Hania – Red Wedding

Eddie Edwards b. Sami Callihan – Rollup

Remember to check out my new forum at steelcageforums.com and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

IMG Credit: Impact Wrestling

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 22, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

We’re back again after last week’s major main event with Austin Aries successfully defending the World Title against Eli Drake. Johnny Impact is the #1 contender so we have a big match coming up in the near future but for tonight, we have….actually I’m not sure so let’s get to it.

Here’s last week’s review in case you need to catch up.

We open with a recap of last week’s show, including a look at the big stories. That’s a very good idea and something they should do more often.

Opening sequence.

LAX vs. Cult of Lee

Non-title with LAX going right after Lee and Konley for the big brawl before the bell. They finally head inside with Ortiz chopping Lee and getting two off a suplex. Konley comes in and gets caught with a basement clothesline for two. Santana adds a moonsault (using Ortiz as a launching pad) for two more and it’s Konley getting double teamed in the corner. That’s not something you often see from faces but LAX aren’t your usual faces.

Lee pulls Santana to the floor though and Konley snaps off a Saito suplex to take over. The announcers try to talk up the cult aspect of the villains and it’s just not working. Don’t you need more than one follower to be a cult leader? Even Bray Wyatt would find that lame. Lee drops a knee to the head as Dutt talks about being a gamer. Ortiz can’t fight out of the corner as we go to a break.

Back with Lee kicking Santana off the apron but Ortiz hits a top rope double dropkick. That’s enough for the hot tag to Santana as things speed way up in a hurry. Konley takes an enziguri and it’s a wheelbarrow facebuster/cutter combination to Lee with Konley making the save. The Street Sweeper is broken up though and Lee grabs a rollup (with a lot of shorts) to pin Ortiz at 13:31.

Rating: C. The ending picked things up a lot and the ending was the right call. The Cult of Lee isn’t the most over team in the world so having them win here should put them up for a title shot. That’s as good of a way as you’re going to have when the division is primarily three teams, the other of which are also heels. This wasn’t anything spectacular but it accomplished its goal.

Brian Cage vs. Hunter Law

Dropkick, gorilla press powerslam, discus lariat, Drill Claw (Screwdriver) to end Law at 1:11.

Eddie Edwards and Bobby Lashley are ready to take out OVE.

From Destiny World Wrestling in Toronto.

Grand Championship: Matt Sydal vs. Petey Williams

Sydal is defending and the camera shot is over a ring post (ala the old Maple Leaf Gardens shows). Matt offers a clean break as the fans are all behind Petey (of course). Petey shrugs off a headlock and scores with a headscissors, followed by a dropkick for two. Something like a reverse Muta Lock puts Petey in trouble for a few seconds and we’re clipped to Petey hitting a lifting Downward Spiral.

Sydal grabs a sliding German suplex but Petey is right back with the slingshot Codebreaker. The Sharpshooter has the fans all happy again but Sydal makes the rope. Sydal’s shooting star doesn’t work so Petey powerbombs him down. The Canadian Destroyer is broken up as well though with Sydal driving him down instead and getting the pin at 5:49 shown.

Rating: C-. And it’s in Canada! Like really, that’s the entire appeal of this match: it’s taking place at a small promotion in Canada. I’m not sure why that’s supposed to be interesting and it’s certainly not just a way to stretch out the shows without having to film more at the Impact Zone. Nothing to see here, other than Canada of course.

Post match Sydal grabs a scroll and talks about his spiritual adviser telling him to wrestle like you’re in a war. On March 8, Sydal wants an X-Division Title match. But will it be in CANADA?

Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong want Abyss.

Here are Jacobs and Kong for a chat. Jacobs declares himself to be a princess and recaps the invasion of Joseph Park’s offices. He’s done being nice though and wants Abyss to come play with the new monster. Cue an older lady, who turns out to be Grandma Jenny Park. She calls the two of them sissies because Joseph is like a son to her.

Jimmy insults her and gets slapped in the face so Kong gets in Jenny’s face. This brings out Joseph who defends his Grandma (after thanking her for a delicious Thanksgiving) but Jimmy threatens her if Abyss doesn’t come back. Joseph decks him but Kong lays Park out. This is a fine story, but egads I can’t bring myself to care about Jacobs or Kong in the slightest.

Sydal is on the phone with his adviser.

We look at Lashley vs. Edwards from Destination X 2016, featuring the debut of Moose.

From Future Stars Wrestling in Las Vegas.

Alberto El Patron vs. Moose

Anything goes with a slightly better lit arena. Moose drives him into the corner to start and Alberto heads to the floor for some water. This time it’s Moose being taken to the floor with Alberto doing the Moose pose and sending him into the barricade. That earns El Patron a pump kick to the face as the announcers mention that Moose’s knee seems ok, likely because this took place before he was hurt.

They fight into the crowd with Alberto sending him out the door and getting in a trashcan shot. Alberto brings the can into the ring and we’re clipped to Moose being cut off by a low blow. A DDT drops Moose again and the top rope double stomp gives Alberto the pin at 6:43 shown.

From the early days: Brian Urlacher beats up Johnny Fairplay.

Video on Rosemary vs. Hania.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus are officially allies again (Carter’s words) and they’re like the Avengers combined. Ethan is ready to win the #1 contendership and then get the title back at Crossroads.

OVE vs. Bobby Lashley/Eddie Edwards

It’s another brawl to start as Dutt gives us Edwards’ career history. Lashley gives Dave a very delayed suplex, followed by a double back elbow for two. Dave manages to drive Eddie into the corner though and it’s Jake hammering away. A big kick to the face gets two and Sami Callihan drops Eddie back first onto the apron.

With Eddie down, Jake needs to shout OHIO VERSUS EVERYTHING into the camera because that’s almost the entire gimmick. Eddie knocks them both down and the hot tag brings in Lashley for clotheslines and suplexes. Jake gets powerslammed and Eddie hits a double Shot of Caffeine. Back in and the Boston Knee Party ends Jake at 8:11.

Rating: C. Ever since the heel turn, OVE has turned into a chore to watch. Maybe it’s Sami yelling every ten seconds or maybe it’s them getting rid of their interesting/cool offense and shifting to a generic brawling style, but they’ve lost anything about them that was remotely interesting. The match was fine, though the tag division still needs A LOT of upgrades.

Video on Aries vs. Drake. Eli promises to get the title back because that’s what he deserves.

The Cult of Lee gets their Tag Team Titles hot in two weeks at Crossroads.

Also at Crossroads, Kong vs. Park.

Ethan Carter III vs. Johnny Impact

Impact’s #1 contendership is on the line and Tyrus is in Ethan’s corner. Just to hammer it in, Tyrus breaks Johnny’s sunglasses. Ethan bails to the floor for a bit before a quick wrestling sequence ends with Johnny’s leglock being countered into a standoff. Johnny gets taken down and chinlocked, only to fight up with the breakdancing legdrop for two. An enziguri looks to set up a springboard but Carter knocks him out to the floor instead.

Back from a break with Tyrus hitting an elbow to Johnny’s chest and Ethan getting two off a suplex. We hit a chinlock followed by a DDT, though Johnny pops up for a superkick for a double knockdown. Johnny’s standing shooting star gets two but Starship Pain is countered into a rollup into a powerbomb for the same. A Spanish Fly gets two on Ethan but he counters Starship Pain again into a super TK3 for another near fall.

The 1%er is broken up (You knew it would be as he wasn’t looking at the camera. Gotta learn that in NXT chum.) but Tyrus trips Johnny up, allowing Ethan to put his feet on the ropes for two. Ethan gets caught up in those ropes and Johnny adds a sliding German suplex. Starship Pain is broken up AGAIN (this time by Tyrus) and the 1%er connects for two. For some reason Ethan blames Tyrus, who walks out in short order. Johnny’s flip neckbreaker into Starship Pain is good for the pin at 18:15.

Rating: B. I liked this one more than last week’s with a very solid back and forth match. There’s also the idea of Tyrus and Carter already splitting, which makes sense as Carter is on his way out. Impact vs. Aries should be a good match and feels like an indy show main event, which is about as accurate as you can get here.

Austin Aries comes out for a staredown with Impact to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. The more I watch this promotion, the more it comes off as an independent promotion with a budget. They’re booking show to show (which is fine), people are being brought in or back in and the quick stories that don’t have a lot of long term developments. That’s their best bet at the moment as they start over (again) and it made for an inoffensive yet not exactly memorable two hours.

Results

Cult of Lee b. LAX – Rollup to Ortiz with a handful of shorts

Brian Cage b. Hunter Law – Drill Claw

Matt Sydal b. Petey Williams – Kneeling belly to back piledriver

Alberto El Patron b. Moose – Top rope double stomp

Eddie Edwards/Bobby Lashley b. OVE – Boston Knee Party to Jake

Johnny Impact b. Ethan Carter III – Starship Pain

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 15, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Sonjay Dutt, Josh Matthews

It’s a big night here with Austin Aries defending the World Title against Eli Drake in a rematch from the impromptu title change two weeks ago. While I can’t imagine another title change, I do like the idea of Drake, who was a good champion, getting a regular title match instead of the thirty second version. Let’s get to it.

Austin Aries is ready to show the world the real him tonight. Just in case they’ve forgotten him, he’s the greatest man that ever lived.

Opening sequence.

Bobby Lashley vs. Sami Callihan

Lashley is on him before the bell with a clothesline but gets kicked in the face. That just earns Sami another clothesline before Lashley beats up OVE. The distraction lets Sami get in another shot though and he sends Lashley right back to the floor. A tornado DDT on the floor drops Lashley again and OVE grabs his legs on the way back in. Sami dumps Lashley AGAIN as this is getting a little repetitive in the early going.

Outside again and Sami spits in his hand for a chop against the barricade and Lashley is tossed into the apron. One heck of a spear cuts Sami down though and we take a break. Back with Sami charging into a boot in the corner and getting taken down with a running crossbody. The spear is awkwardly caught in a guillotine but Lashley powers out again. Sami ties him up in the corner for a sitout powerbomb but the kicks to the face just make Lashley mad. A Dominator sets up the spear to give Lashley….two as OVE comes in for the DQ at 14:34.

Rating: D. I know Sami is kind of revered but I’m not sure I get it. He’s a better character than in-ring worker (assuming you go for the shouting promos) and that makes for a bit of a rough sit when the match is fourteen minutes long. It wasn’t the worst but Sami isn’t the best option for a regular match. All of the going outside for OVE interference didn’t help either.

Post match the beatdown is on but Eddie Edwards makes the save.

Eli Drake says he’s still World Champion because this is his first match with Aries. He can’t stop being World Champion and he’s not stopping tonight.

LAX has plans for later.

We look back at Braxton Sutter and Laurel Van Ness’ wedding from last year, which was broken up by Allie. As usual, this showcases a lot of people not even in the company anymore. It might have helped if Sutter had done ANYTHING after this.

Allie arrives, hears a crazy laugh, and finds another note from her secret admirer.

Aries has been around the world collecting titles and he’s not about to lose tonight. Drake better have been getting ready for the last two weeks because he’s not ready for what’s coming for him.

Moose isn’t happy with how last week’s four way went down and it’s Alberto El Patron jumping him to trigger a brawl.

Hania the Huntress vs. Rosemary

Rosemary spears her down to start and slugs away in the corner but Hania wins the battle of right hands. A spinwheel kick gives Hania two but the headscissor choke over the ropes has Hania in trouble. Back in and Hania kicks her down again as the announcers talk about the main event instead of paying attention to the match. Hania hits a high crossbody but Rosemary rolls through for the pin at 4:00.

Rating: D+. Who is Hania? I know she’s a Huntress and has attacked Rosemary, but who is she? Why did she attack Rosemary? I know she’s not the biggest character in the world but a vignette or promo from her explaining ANYTHING about her would be very appreciated. Of course we’re not going to get that because we need more of LAX talking about tequila, but it would help us know a little something about her.

Post match Hania loads up the reverse DDT on the steps but Rosemary bites the arm and seems to like the taste.

Johnny Impact isn’t sure about Matt Sydal’s stretching but it’s what the spiritual adviser recommended.

Tyrus is back to be Ethan Carter III’s mystery partner. I’m not sure that’s how a mystery works.

Allie goes to where the note said to meet the admirer and finds a box of chocolates and a card. The card says LVN and Laurel Van Ness pops out of an anvil case, earning a very quick shot to the head with the chocolates. Allie beats her up a bit and throws Laurel back into the case, which she kicks for good measure.

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Johnny Impact/Matt Sydal

Matt won’t shake Ethan’s hand to start so it’s off to Johnny without any offense. Sydal comes back in and armbars Ethan down but Tyrus runs everyone over. A good looking flip sends Johnny sailing over Tyrus for a tag to Sydal, who is cut off by a headbutt to the chest. It’s back to Carter for a cravate before Tyrus is back in with a running splash in the corner.

Carter gives up the hot tag though and it’s Johnny coming back in for a bunch of kicks. Sydal loads up the shooting star but dives onto Tyrus instead, getting driven into the barricade for his efforts. Back in and the Flying Chuck is broken up and Carter grabs a rollup with feet on the ropes for the pin at 8:36.

Rating: D+. So Tyrus is back. Uh….does anyone have anything interesting to say about this? He’s the same guy he was before he left and that’s not exactly thrilling news. Tyrus can fill in a spot on the roster and be a tag partner for Carter, but it’s not like this is the biggest deal in the world. The match was nothing great but they didn’t keep them out there too long.

Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong go to Joseph Park’s law offices (Which we established didn’t exist YEARS AGO but now they do again for the sake of the story.). Things are destroyed in the name of bringing Abyss back.

Brian Cage vs. John Cruz

Cage throws him around and a wicked powerbomb into a buckle bomb have Cruz in even more trouble. A Steiner Screwdriver ends Cruz at 1:17. Exactly what it should have been.

X-Division Title: Taiji Ishimori vs. El Hijo De Fantasma

Ishimori is defending and we get a long explanation about the champ’s theme song. Feeling out process to start as the announcers talk about Kongo Kong and Jimmy Jacobs demanding the return of Abyss. Fantasma gets two off a big boot and grabs a leglock to send Ishimori crawling over to the ropes. We hit a double arm crank and take a break with the champ in trouble.

Back with Ishimori hitting a springboard seated senton as Josh says who is in which colors. Now why does no one else know to do that? Ishimori hits a big flip dive to the floor but gets caught with some knees to the head. Fantasma hits a suicide dive (which is nowhere near as good as he’s done it before) but Ishimori is right back up with a running hurricanrana down the ramp. Back in and Ishimori drops him on his head, setting up the 450 to retain at 13:02.

Rating: B-. The matches are entertaining and if that’s all you’re looking for out of them, you’re going to be fine. The division has long since given up on the idea of anything interesting in the form of characters or storylines so just sit back and enjoy a bunch of high flying. Anything else is wishful thinking and that’s been the case for a long time.

Impact Wrestling World Title: Austin Aries vs. Eli Drake

Aries is defending and comes out with four titles, including the Defiant Wrestling World Title (and the IPW-UK and World Series Wrestling (Australia) Titles). The fact that Impact Wrestling and What Culture have the same champion and that their title is making it onto national TV is either an amazing success story or a sign of how far this company has fallen. The threat of the Last Chancery sends Drake bailing to the floor in short order and it’s time for a breather.

Aries does his bouncing escape from a headscissors and dropkicks the seated Drake. Back up and Drake takes over with a few right hands, followed by some shoulders in the corner as we take a break. Back with Aries hitting a running elbow drop but charging into an elbow to the face. A neckbreaker gives Drake two and it’s time for the comeback with Aries getting the better of a slugout. Aries gets two off a missile dropkick and smacks Drake around the ears.

Drake is right back up and runs the corner for something like a front facelock superplex for two. An AA gets two and Aries is right back to his feet, sending Drake to the floor. The suicide dive takes Chris Adonis down instead and Aries has to make sure he didn’t kill a fan. Back in and the Gravy Train is reversed into the Last Chancery but Aries has to deck Adonis. Not that it matters as another Gravy Train is reversed into the brainbuster to retain Aries’ title at 16:28.

Rating: B. This was your run of the mill big time Impact main event: completely serviceable but not exactly with any kind of drama. You know they’re not going back to Drake, at least not anytime soon. Aries getting a big and definitive win was a good thing and something his reign needed to get off on the right foot. I’m not sure where Drake goes now but he’s earned the right to stay pretty high up on the card.

Overall Rating: C+. Not bad at all but as usual, the lack of any real fire hurt things a lot. The wrestling was up and down all night and while the main event was good, it’s not a match that I’m going to remember in a day or so. That’s a major problem for this entire company: there’s very little that stands out and I don’t feel like I’m connected to any of these wrestlers. Certainly not a bad show, but it’s stuck in the same bubble it’s been in for a long time now.

Results

Bobby Lashley b. Sami Callihan via DQ when OVE interfered

Rosemary b. Hania the Huntress – Reversed crossbody

Ethan Carter III/Tyrus b. Johnny Impact/Matt Sydal – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Brian Cage b. John Cruz – Steiner Screwdriver

Taiji Ishimori b. El Hijo De Fantasma – 450

Austin Aries b. Eli Drake – Last Chancery

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 8, 2018
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Sonjay Dutt

It’s a new era around here and that started last week with some big time changes. Well mainly one as Austin Aries returned to the company and won the World Title in a big surprise last week. Now we head towards the next pay per view in April, but there’s a lot of stuff to get through first. Let’s get to it.

We look back at Aries returning and winning the title last week, including a quick bio for those of you unfamiliar with him.

El Hijo de Fantasma/Rohit Kaju vs. Taiji Ishimori/Matt Sydal

Kaju is a newcomer. Fantasma and Ishimori get things going as Dutt (who has a very good voice for announcing) talks about the new Indian faction the Desi Hit Squad. They feel each other out to start without much happening early on. Instead it’s off to Sydal to work on Kaju’s arm, followed by some shots to the leg.

Ishimori comes in and works on the leg as well, only to get caught in a neckbreaker to put both guys down. Back from a break with everything breaking down and Kaju hitting a suicide dive onto Sydal. Back in and Ishimori gets caught in an armbar, only to get up without much effort and bring Sydal in again. Matt fires off the chops in the corner but Fantasma throws Sydal into a knee from Kaju for two. Everything breaks down (again) and Ishimori’s top rope double knees sets up Sydal’s Shooting Star to pin Kaju at 15:45.

Rating: C. Another match here with a bunch of people being thrown into the ring at once without much particular rhyme or reason. There should be more to a match with three champions involved (Fantasma is AAA Latin American Champion) but that’s how things work in Impact: just throw people out there and hope for the best. Kaju was pretty average but nothing terrible.

Austin Aries was having a press conference after winning the title and said he doesn’t have a contract. So he’s Cody from Ring of Honor last year. He’s not worried about losing the title at a non-Impact event because, come on, he’s Austin Aries. Eli Drake storms in and wants a rematch so it’s on for next week.

We see a very long portion of Bobby Roode vs. Austin Aries from Destination X 2012 with Aries winning the World Title for the first time.

Cult of Lee vs. Tech

Yes Tech, comprised of Monroe and Reed. The Cult has LAX’s bandannas around their faces and the beating is on in a hurry. Lee throws Reed around and it’s already time for the Cult to start taking turns on him in the corner. They’re not wasting time tonight. A double elbow gives Konley two but it’s heel miscommunication to set up the hot(ish) tag to Monroe. That’s cut off in short order though and a spike piledriver is enough to give Konley the pin at 4:23.

Rating: D+. Just a quick tag match here to keep the Cult of Lee going. They’re not exactly interesting but it’s much better to move them away from the X-Division. There’s nothing else they can do there and the tag division needs them far more. Maybe they can do something and maybe they can’t but they need a chance and that’s what they’re getting.

Post match Konnan pops up on screen to say LAX is coming for the Cult.

Allie gives Kieran Hogan a pep talk when someone brings her a big envelope. It’s a massive Valentines Day card, inviting her to meet whoever sent it next week.

Knockouts Title: Laurel Van Ness vs. Kieran Hogan

Van Ness is defending after Hogan got a fluke pin last week. Laurel wastes no time in throwing Kieran into the corner to start and some hair mares give the champ two. A twist of the wrist puts Hogan down on the mat and a curb stomp makes things even worse. The Unprettier is broken up and Hogan grabs the same rollup she used for the pin last week, only to get two this week. Instead it’s a bicycle kick to the face before the Unprettier can retain Laurel’s title at 4:10.

Rating: D. This was exactly what you would have expected it to be as Hogan didn’t do anything to win the previous match. It’s fine to have her get a hope spot with the rollup but it’s not like anyone was really expecting her to win the title here. Laurel can move on to her big match with Allie and that’s where she belongs.

Post match Laurel stays on Kieran until Allie makes the save. Makes sense.

Cage debuts next week.

Someone is filming Lashley.

Ethan Carter III is ready to win the #1 contenders match and go on to become an EC3 Time World Champion.

Video on Aries vs. Drake.

Jimmy Jacobs says he’s not a bad guy but he wants Abyss here. If Joseph Park won’t bring Abyss, they’ll make him do it.

Sydal talks about his spiritual adviser bringing out what it took to win the match earlier. Ishimori is with him and Sydal wishes him luck in next week’s title defense against Fantasma. I’m still not feeling any of these people.

OVE jumps Lashley and puts him in the trunk of a car.

Hania the Huntress vs. Amber Nova

This is Hania’s in-ring debut. Amber tries a quick crucifix for two but gets take into the corner by the bigger Hania. A sunset flip gives Nova two and some bad looking dropkicks keep Hania in trouble. Amber grabs a hurricanrana but uses it to pull Hania face first into the buckle in a cool move. Another hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb though and a reverse DDT gives Hania the pin at 3:27.

Rating: D. Another quick match here to establish Hania, who has a great look and got to show off a lot here. Nova wasn’t bad either though and that’s a good sign for the future of the division. They need some fresh blood to fill in the lack of Gail Kim (oh I’m sure we’re not done with her yet, at least in some form) and these two work well enough.

Post match Rosemary jumps Hania in revenge for a few weeks back.

Johnny Impact vs. Alberto El Patron vs. Moose vs. Ethan Carter III

The winner gets a World Title shot at some point in the future. Everyone fights to the floor to start and it’s an early double teaming to keep Moose in early trouble. Impact is put down as well and it’s Moose being taken back inside for a double whip into the corner. Johnny comes back in to beat on the villains but gets thrown down again.

As is always the case, Carter and El Patron get in a fight over who gets to go for the pin, allowing Impact to come in with a corkscrew dive to take them both down. Moose is back up to throw everyone around, only to have Impact drop him as well. Everyone slugs it out and we take a break. Back with the brawl heading into the crowd with Moose being thrown into a fence. He comes up holding his knee, leaving the other three to fight on the other side of the crowd.

Johnny steals someone’s crutches and beats on both guys, which he doesn’t even give back. Instead Alberto throws Johnny into the trash but he comes back with what looked like a can to the head. Back in and Johnny gets DDT’d, only to reverse a double superplex. Johnny can’t powerbomb both guys but Moose limps back in and takes Cater, allowing Johnny to powerbomb Alberto.

Moose throws people around but the knee is keeping him from running. Johnny reverses a powerbomb into the hurricanrana though and Carter plants Moose with the 1%er. The flip neckbreaker gives Johnny two on Carter but Alberto comes back in with the Backstabber on Impact. The cross armbreaker has Carter in trouble until Moose makes another save. Moose goes outside with Alberto, leaving Johnny to roll Carter up for the pin at 20:33.

Rating: B-. Moose’s knee injury (which is apparently legitimate) considered, this was about as good as it could have been. You’re only going to get so far with the same four way tropes and the same match that we’ve done so many times. It was energetic but the spots were the same and that doesn’t make for anything all that exciting. Impact winning is the best call as Impact vs. Aries feels like a big deal.

Overall Rating: D+. While not a terrible show, there really wasn’t much to see here. They were trying to do some new stuff but it felt a lot like the Canada tapings: they’re just throwing new people out there and not really giving us time to get to know them. Now this was nowhere near as bad because the new names weren’t getting big spots, but it still feels like they’re restarting again. When you do that this often, it gets old in a hurry and that’s what happened here. Not the worst and not boring, but there wasn’t much of a spark.

One more note: Dutt was very good on commentary, sounding both knowledgeable, excited and interesting at the same time.

Results

Taiji Ishimori/Matt Sydal b. Rohit Kaju/El Hijo de Fantasma – Shooting star press to Kaju

Cult of Lee b. Tech – Spike piledriver to Monroe

Laurel Van Ness b. Kieran Hogan – Unprettier

Hania the Huntress b. Amber Nova – Reverse DDT

Johnny Impact b. Alberto El Patron, Moose and Ethan Carter III – Rollup to Carter

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the 2018 Updated Version of the History of the WWE Championship in e-book or paperback. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2018/01/26/new-book-kbs-history-of-the-wwe-championship-2018-updated-version/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6