Impact Wrestling – October 6, 2011 – You Mean……HOGAN LIED????

Impact Wrestling
Date: October 6, 2011
Location: Knoxville Civic Auditorium, Knoxville, Tennessee
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re in Knoxville now (if that wasn’t clear before) and it’s Hulk Hogan’s retirement announcement. Why do I have a feeling that may not be legit after last year’s hospital ordeal. Anyway, we have two more shows before BFG so I’m sure Bobby Roode still respects Kurt a lot and that he’s the next world champ. If you’re not sure, just listen and I’m sure you’ll hear it a few dozen times tonight. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Beer Money to open the show. Roode finishes the Fourtune gauntlet tonight and they’re in the semi main event. Storm isn’t happy with this because Hogan is taking the spot from them. It’s time for Hogan to retire. Roode talks about facing the other members of Fourtune and needing to beat them to get here. He needs Storm at his best for the sake of getting him ready for Angle. Storm will do that later and tonight he might be a little better than Roode.

Sting is here in a red jacket and a Hogan t-shirt.

Since it’s Hogan’s big nights, we look back at Hogan moments in Impact Wrestling. First up: Hogan arrives on January 4, 2010.

Kazarian vs. Gunner

This is fallout from last week with Traci’s pull apart brawl and Gunner laying out Kaz. They fight over the arm and Kaz’s goes into the post. Back in Gunner works on the arm for a bit but Kaz takes the leg out to take over for all of a second. Kaz’s arm goes into the post again, setting up an armbar for the tap at 4:12. That came out of nowhere but I kind of like it….I think. And never mind as Gunner hits him just a tiny bit more and it’s reversed to a DQ.

Rating: C-. No idea what the point of this was although it was cool to see a feud/story go from one week to another. The ending was kind of strange though because it came out of nowhere. It made sense from an injury standpoint as Kaz had his arm worked on for a bit before the tap, but it looked like a regular armbar/wristlock. I don’t get it, nor do I get the point of the post match DQ.

Here’s Anderson to apologize to the people who mean the most to him: his anal openings known as fans. He’s worked for his whole life to get here and isn’t sure what he was thinking when he joined Immortal. He mentions Ray and here he is. They talk about how Ray keeps using weapons to beat him down (“Overcompensating with the chain?) and Ray says Anderson doesn’t get another match. Anderson challenges him to a Philadelphia Falls Count Anywhere match. Wasn’t that already set up?

Roode and Storm are getting ready.

Eric gets here and isn’t happy about the Hogan announcement. They’ve worked together for years and it ends tonight.

Kendrick talks about how Aries has weaknesses and he can exploit them. It’s your usual insane stuff. He insults Kid Kash and here’s Kash to retort with his fists.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Winter/Madison Rayne

Mickie vs. Winter to start and it’s off to Madison quickly. Kaz is going to the hospital. Velvet comes in and doesn’t so much so it’s off to Mickie again to beat up Winter. A Thesz Press sets up a neckbreaker which sets up a rana which sets up a two. Angelina’s cheating gets two for Winter. After some uninspired stuff, Velvet comes in and cleans house with a modified X Factor which doesn’t look that good. Angelina grabs the wrong chick’s leg and Winter gets in trouble. Not that it matters anyway as Madison rolls up Velvet with the tights at 4:41 for the pin.

Rating: D+. So what was the point of the leg trip exactly? If you’re going to have Angelina screw up, shouldn’t it lead to it ending badly? The Knockouts are better than the Divas but that’s still not saying much. I do kind of like the sexiness of the Knockouts more but it’s not exactly the best it’s ever been. Nothing to see here but it had all four chicks for BFG in the same match so points for that.

Jeff Hardy is here. AND HE HAS SLEEVES!!!

Remember the one time Hogan wrestled on Impact?

Angle is worried about Jeff and Eric says chill. Angle says cool.

Here’s Eric and he calls out Jeff Hardy. He talks about how he’s been in the business for 25 years and he’s never dropped the ball. I guess we’re overlooking WCW and their huge lead. Anyway Jeff has turned dropping the ball into an art form. Jeff has been looking for another chance but Eric says Jeff is out of chances with him. Eric says Jeff is done so here’s a Twist of Fate for Uncle Eric. He shouts Screw You and Immortal chases him off.

Jeff is still here.

Hogan throwing Dixie out is another moment.

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson

They fight to the corner quickly with Joe taking an early advantage. Off to a cravate which doesn’t get Crimson much of anywhere. They go to the floor and Joe gets in a shot to the leg/ankle that he injured on Crimson a few weeks ago. Joe works over the leg for awhile and then it’s back inside. A leg sweep takes Crimson down and here’s a leg lock that isn’t quite a heel hook according to Taz. Crimson grabs a small package out of nowhere for the pin at 5:13.

Rating: C-. This was more of a brawl than a match but I’m not sure what it solves if anything. Joe still can’t win anything and Crimson continues to win without looking dominant. Not much here but I’ve seen worse. It’ll likely be a three way at BFG with Morgan being thrown in.

Ray tries to talk down Philly to make sure he’s a heel in Philly.

Long video on Roode getting ready for BFG.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode

Face vs. face here and partner vs. partner so you know the respect is way turned up. They feel each other out a lot and Roode controls with a headlock. Storm grabs the arm but gets caught in another headlock. Very technical stuff so far. They hit the ropes and Roode avoids a super kick and takes Storm down with an arm drag. The Fujiwara is avoided and we take a break.

Back with more back and forth stuff. Daniels vs. AJ will be I Quit for no apparent reason. They start slugging it out and Storm is fighting more like a heel than he usually does. Blockbuster gets two. Roode gets sent to the apron so Storm challens his inner Orton with an elevated DDT for two. Back in the spinebuster gets two for Roode. The idea is Storm is getting frustrated while Roode is staying calm.

After Roode gets crotched Storm hooks a superplex for a very long two. Superkick is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. So I guess Storm > HHH? Codebreaker sets up the Backstabber but it only gets two. The fans say this is awesome and while it’s good I don’t know if it’s awesome. There goes the referee (naturally) and Angle comes out to send Storm into the steps. Nice planting of seeds there but it only gets two. Storm tries another superkick but falls into a fisherman’s suplex for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here but the ref bump made me roll my eyes. I did like what Kurt is doing though as he’s trying to make Storm turn on Roode and since no one is ever capable of watching tape in wrestling it might cause some of it for the PPV. Good main event and I’d expect to see this headlining a PPV someday soon.

Here’s Hogan for the retirement speech. He talks about how he’s been in Knoxville and how much he loves the fans. He isn’t sure what he’s going to do now with all the free time he has now. Some fans had asked if it was worth a ten hour drive to be here for it and he says yes it’s real. Hogan thanks the fans and they cheer for him again. He holds up the weight belt and lays it down in the ring, saying that Hulkamania is over and let the celebration begin.

Here’s Sting with a rebuttal I guess. He looks like a Hogan/Beetlejuice hybrid here. Sting says he doesn’t buy it but Hogan is like dude it’s real. Sting talks about how amazing it is today that you can have a camera anywhere today. Nothing is sacred today and Sting has some compelling footage about Hogan. Here’s Hogan and Bischoff with Hogan talking about how the fans are going to fall for this retirement hook line and sinker. Hogan makes fun of hillbillies in Knoxville and Hulk in the ring freaks. He says he’ll fight Sting at BFG and if Sting wins he’ll give the company back to Sting and Carter. WOW that was forced.

Overall Rating: C. Not a terrible show here but me being half asleep for a lot of it didn’t help. The wrestling was short but at this point I can live with that because it’s about building up to BFG now and with the card being set, you don’t really need many more new matches or stories going on. Decent show overall but it’s really just holding down the fort until BFG and that’s fine.

Results
Gunner b. Kazarian – Armbar
Madison Rayne/Winter b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Rollup
Crimson b. Samoa Joe – Small Package
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Fisherman’s Suplex




Impact Wrestling – September 29, 2011 – Bobby Roode And That’s About It

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 29, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

After this week we move off to Nashville for two weeks and then it’s Philadelphia for Bound For Glory. Tonight we’re going to hear that it’s Hogan’s retirement which is a big announcement and a spoiler but by the time this is posted it’ll be fair game. Anyway other than that there’s a five way ladder match which will be lucky to go six minutes. Let’s get to it.

Sting is here to open the show and he calls out Roode. It’s the same stuff you would expect: Sting says he’s awesome and can beat Angle, Roode says he’ll do his best and that it means a lot and says that Sting needs to beat Hogan. Here’s AJ to say take care of things and go become world champion because you might never get another shot. Here’s Angle who says if AJ wins tonight he’ll get a shot at the title. This felt really rushed for some reason.

Hogan is here and is looking nervous.

Alex Shelley vs. Brian Kendrick vs. Zima Ion vs. Kid Kash vs. Jesse Sorensen

This is a ladder match and the winner gets the shot at Aries at BFG. Aries is on commentary and says he wants to face Kash. It’s your usual insane match with all the people doing everything they can. There’s a chair brought in and Sorensen is dropped onto the ladder by Kash and looks like he was shot. Kash goes up but Kendrick makes the save. Tazz: “Austin what would you do in this match?” Aries: “Climb the ladder as fast as I could.”

Ion takes Kendrick out with a moonsault to the floor and no one is really trying to go up. Shelley kicks Kash down and makes a run up but takes forever because it’s a wrestling match involving a ladder and Ion makes the save. BIG chop by Kash to Ion and Aries says maybe he doesn’t want to face him. Ion gets countered and Sorensen puts him into the ladder. Kash goes up but is taken down by Kendrick. Kendrick and Shelley go up at the same time but Kendrick knocks him down and wins at 5:45. Nice to see them expanding the title feuds.

Rating: C+. The match was exciting but I’m tired of these matches that are supposed to be special and draws etc being given five and a half minutes so that we can have everyone on the roster post on their video blogs about how they feel about everything that is happening tonight with nothing interesting to say at all. Not a bad match or anything, but these matches need more time to build up some kind of drama.

Kaz is talking about the Roode/Styles match when the Jarretts come in and say get to the ring now.

Flair is on the phone and is upset about something. He wants to be part of a decision that is being made and is coming to someone’s office.

Here are the Jarretts and they call out Kaz and tell him to bring Traci with him. Jeff gets in his face, talking about how he gave Kaz a job and how Kaz went to the WWE and then Jeff let him come back and then left again and Jeff let him back in again. He insults Traci a bit and they almost get into it but referees and agents come out. Jeff threatens to fire them because he can I guess and another brawl starts up. Gunner comes in and leaves Kaz laying with an F5.

We recap last week’s thing with Ink Inc and Mexican america with the tattoo raping.

Hernandez vs. Jesse Neal

Mexican America jumps Ink Inc and we’re told that Hernandez hurt Neal which is why we haven’t seen them lately. Well that’s better than nothing. The beatdown goes on for awhile and the bell hasn’t rang yet. Anarquia and Moore are in the ring and Moore gets crushed by a splash. Here’s one for Neal also and the Mexicans stand tall. They spray pain MA on both of their backs and it’s 1996 all over again. No match. Hernandez’s splashes looked great.

Ray says he knows what Hogan is going to say and says he was the first one that Hogan told about it.

Storm says if Roode wins, Storm will be winning with them because they’re a team.

Flair rants to Hogan about what Hogan is going to do and says it’ll change the business. Whatever it is, it’s not a good decision.

We recap Tara vs. Madison Rayne which started back at Sacrifice 2010 where Tara put her career up for a title shot. Then Tara came back with Madison because I guess Madison had the authority to break the contract. Tara rebelled against Madison and won her freedom. Do we really need a year plus recap for a TV match where you get a spot in a title match?

Crimson is here just as he promised he would be.

Madison Rayne vs. Tara

This is a qualifying match to be in the Knockouts Title match with Mickie and Winter and whoever else is the final person. By the way, total time from the end of the ladder match to the bell for this: 33:54. Madison hits on Earl and screams a lot. Tara grabs her hand and bends the finger back, making Madison tap but it doesn’t count I guess. I have a feeling we’re in a comedy match.

Tara takes it to the mat with a headlock takeover and Madison keeps carressing Earl. Madison uses the distraction to take over with a right hand and beats on her in the corner. She does the hump the mat spot and hits on Earl AGAIN. That’s about 8 times now. Madison cheats to escape a chokebomb by hitting Earl so Earl says kill her. Release chokebomb hits Madison but Rayne escapes the Widow’s Peak and rolls her up with the feet on the ropes at 4:43.

Rating: D. I have no idea what the point of the video was as this really wasn’t a match that required a lot of explanation or backstory to it. Also I don’t get the point of the hitting on Earl as it didn’t play into the ending at all. Pretty much a nothing match that didn’t need a backstory or the cross generational flirting.

Daniels says he wouldn’t want to face AJ again at BFG because there’s no point. The match is happening it seems and Daniels says if he beats AJ again it would be a kick in the nuts, which makes him chuckle.

Here’s Crimson after having his leg broken or something similar to that by Joe. He wants Joe out here right now to settle this. Joe appears and says he’s allowed Crimson to be here and to continue his farce of an undefeated streak. Without Crimson, who else is going to be Joe’s female dog? Crimson charges and the brawl is on. Joe goes to the ankle and kicks Crimson low and into the ring we go. He puts on the leg bar until Matt Morgan comes out to make a save. Morgan helps Crimson up.

AJ is ready for Roode but they’re cool.

D’Angelo Dinero vs. Mr. Anderson

Just 19:37 between bells this time so they’re improving. Feeling out process to start as this is the always rare face vs. face match. They do nothing of note for awhile until they head to the floor and Anderson pulls back to punch Pope. D-Von’s kids grab his arm and Pope misses a charge into the railing. Anderson goes into the ring and Ray pops up with a kendo stick. Pope comes in and gets the pin at 4:12. D-Von came down to yell at his kids.

Rating: D. I can’t call it a failure because it plays into both stories. Anderson and Ray are fine, but is this Pope/D-Von/D-Von’s kids thing going ANYWHERE? They’ve been doing this same stuff for months now and I guess D-Von is mad at Pope again or maybe now at his kids or something? I have no idea what the end goal of this is but it’s taking way too long for an angle with D-Von Dudley in it.

Roode is ready.

D-Von yells at his kids and Pope. D-Von is training his kids to be wrestlers it seems. Pope says chill and D-Von yells at his kids more, saying he calls the shots and says when for the kids to jump.

We get one of those serious videos about Roode training for his one match and how he’s given up so much for his family and his dream and all that jazz.

AJ Styles vs. Robert Roode

Just 12 and a half minutes this time. LONG headlock by AJ to eat up some time and then a dropkick gets two. Off to another headlock as I think it’s one of those “big” matches where they do very basic stuff but nothing actually comes out of it. AJ tries the springboard but gets caught in an over the shoulder gutbuster for two, injuring Bobby’s leg. They go to the floor and once that goes nowhere, AJ puts on a bridging Indian Deathlock to work on the knee a bit more.

They continue with this slow pace and it’s ok but it’s not much to watch, especially after how boring the rest of the show has been. Roode knocks him off the top but gets caught by the springboard forearm for two. Here’s the springboard 450 but Roode moves. Styles Clash is blocked twice, the second time into a sunsef flip for two. Pele misses and Roode grabs the Crossface and AJ taps at 8:32.

Rating: C+. The ending was good but this is another match like the opener: they needed more time to make it good. A win over AJ is a good thing but there’s still a total lack of heat in my eyes on the title match. They’re trying so hard to make this a huge match and I’m not getting into it at all. Roode simply isn’t that interesting and would rather talk about how much he respects everything and show absolutely no emotion other than serious which is logical I guess, but MAN is it dull.

AJ praises Roode and says he’s going to be the next champion. This takes forever and AJ says he wants a shot. Roode says ok.

Here’s Hogan for the big announcement. He talks about how he’s been soul searching recently and started thinking about how the Hulk Hogan run has been awesome. He talks about Hiro Matsuda breaking his leg when he started training and how he came from the beginning to the match with Andre and how many times he sold out MSG and all those big matches. Sting is watching in the back.

Hulkamania could go on forever. Then he had a chance of a lifetime: to come to Impact Wrestling and make a difference. He saw a bunch of hungry eyes and now they’re all stepping up. Every moment has been worth it and Sting is still watching. He (Sting) talks about Suburban Commando and says Hogan is a great actor.

Hogan says this is the end of the road and he’s retiring. He wants to thank the Impact Zone fans because they’re the important ones. Even his wife hasn’t heard this yet. But Flair and Bully Ray have? The fans are always with him and he’s leaving. Next week will be the formal announcement and it’ll be a big celebration of Hulk next week. Sting doesn’t buy it.

Overall Rating: D. Oh man I did not like this show. They spent the whole night plugging Roode vs. Angle and I still don’t care to see it. The match will probably be very good, but at the end of it I’ll say something like “Ok so what’s next?”, which will be Sting vs. Hogan because that’s been built up far better, although the match will be a disaster. These buildup shows for BFG have been built on two matches and I’m not thrilled to see either, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Brian Kendrick b. Kid Kash, Alex Shelley, Zima Ion and Jesse Sorensen – Kendrick pulled down the contract
Madison Rayne b. Tara – Rollup
D’Angelo Dinero b. Mr. Anderson – Pin after Bully Ray hit Anderson with a kendo stick
Robert Roode b. AJ Styles – Crossface




Impact Wrestling – September 22, 2011 – I Know There’s Some Wrestling Here Somewhere

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 22, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Counting tonight there are four shows left before Bound For Glory. Last night the rest of the shows leading up to the PPV were taped in Nashville so the entire thing has been set. I’ve never been a fan of that but that’s just me. Anyway, tonight we continue with Roode facing Fourtune in his gauntlet style thing as well as continue having Hogan and Sting set up since now that match is official for BFG. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Sting in a Hogan shirt and jeans to open the show with a contract in his hand. He talks about how things are great right now and he wants Hogan here right now. Hogan comes out and says he’s not medically cleared to wrestle. Sting FREAKS (in his insane way) and says he has some footage. It’s of Hogan killing Sting with a chair and beating him up from a few weeks ago. Hogan says he’s not going to fight at BFG even if he’s in shape as Sting has been chasing him for years but never caught up to him.

Sting says ok then. Screw BFG and let’s do it right now. Cue Bischoff for the interruption. He goes off on Sting and Sting doesn’t seem that interested. Eric tells Sting to look at him and Sting does as he clocks Bischoff with a right hand. Eric looks a bit dead now. Sting gets in Hogan’s face and says the match will happen.

Karen talks to Mickie and Tessmacher and says get ready for their match. Mickie leaves and Tessie says none of that erotic stripping stuff. She also tells Traci to cover those things up. She yells at Karen again and Kaz comes up to her to call Karen a madam. He and Traci leave and Karen immediately calls Jeff to yell.

Jeff Hardy arrives and is looking for someone to talk to.

Brooke Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

This is part of the qualifying series for the title match at BFG. The crowd goes almost silent once the bell rings. They fight over a wristlock (the girls, not the crowd, although that would be interesting to see) and we’re in the always awkward face vs. face match here. Tessmacher gets a rana for two and a dropkick to take over.

She grinds onto Mickie’s face in the corner and Mickie is ticked off. I guess she’s changed teams since her infatuation with Trish. She beats up tessmacher with a bad flapjack and the jumping DDT gets the pin at 2:55. Tessmacher looked MUCH better here than she usually does and is downright watchable.

Mexican America is off to get some new tattoos in a truck.

Al Snow talks to Jeff hardy who says Jeff made a mistake. He shakes Jeff’s hand and says to not make that mistake again and start at the top. Al also says he’s here if Jeff needs him.

X-Division Title: Jesse Sorensen vs. Austin Aries

No entrance for Sorensen. Aries asks for silence before the match which is an old school heel tactic and it works. He takes Jesse to the mat and tries to tick him off. Jesse is all annoyed and Austin steals Jesse’s football. Sorensen adds a third sport to things with a baseball slide and then a HUGE dive over the top to take Aries out. Kid Kash comes out to distract Sorensen which only works for a bit as Sorensen gets a big old Kingstonesque top rope cross body for two.

Aries goes up and jumps into a dropkick for two. Sorensets for something but Austni counters by ramming him into the corner. We get a Let’s Go Jesse/Austin Aries dueling chant. Kash is still there and distracts Jesse again, shoving the football into his chest. That isn’t a DQ for some reason and Jesse throws the ball into Kash’s chest. Aries hits a dropkick to the back of the head and a rollup for the pin at 4:27.

Rating: C. Not bad but Kash vs. Sorensen is something that should be over already. They had a three match series and Sorensen won the thing. What’s the point in continuing it now? Aries probably needed to get a clean win here but I see the idea of having him win with some shenanigans. Not bad but nothing great. Sorensen can jump though.

Anderson and RVD talk about their tag match tonight with Ray and Lynn, their respective opponents at BFG.

Anarquia has a new tattoo on his chest and says we need some tequila. The chicks go off to get it and the tattoo artist has to switch with someone else. Anarquia says he’s afraid of needles so they pray for him to not be scared. As they open their eyes, Ink Inc pops in and beats them up. They fight into the lobby of the place and the tattoo lady pops Anarquia with an elbow. This beating is going on for awhile. Hernandez was put through a table. They beat Anarquia onto a table and tattoo him but we’re not allowed to watch.

Jeff Hardy is looking for Kurt but finds Matt Morgan. Matt says hang for a bit. He rants about what Jeff did from a professional standpoint. Personally though he says he used to be a painkiller addict and he’d be a hypocrite to not give Jeff one last chance. Matt says if Jeff screws up one more time, Morgan will be the first person on him.

In the back, RVD has been put through a table. No idea who did it.

Hardy is talking to Kurt and Kurt doesn’t want him here. Angle says no one wants him here now and Kurt tries to throw him out. Jeff wants to know who Kurt is to judge him. Kurt goes on his rant about how great he is and tells Jeff to get out again. He goes to leave and Jeff stops him, saying it’s because Kurt knows he’s the biggest threat to the title. Kurt says don’t ever say that again and leaves.

Here’s Kurt and he calls out Robert Roode. Here’s Bobby still with the Beer Money theme. We take a break before Roode gets in the ring. Back and Angle says that Roode has passed the first test against Kaz in a great match. Tonight however he has Christopher Daniels. Kurt isn’t sure if Daniels will play by the rules tonight. Roode says this isn’t going to work. For 13 years now he’s given everything to the business and he knows Kurt is the best in the world. However at BFG he’s going to become world champion.

Angle implies he’s gotten to someone that Roode is close to and implies it’s Storm. Here’s the Beer in Beer Money. Roode looks confused and Kurt gives Storm a thumbs up on the way to the ring. He says to Roode that he makes his own rules. However he’s not here to get into it with Roode but rather Angle. Oral sex is implied but Storm wants a match with him instead. Kurt doesn’t turn it down or accept it but Storm seems confident it’s happening. I guess it is happening.

Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn vs. Mr. Anderson/Rob Van Dam

There’s no RVD due to the attack earlier. Ray starts us off but tags in Lynn almost immediately. Anderson is crotched on the top and it’s off to Ray. A splash gets a fast two and we’re in a chinlock about two minutes into this. Lynn gets a rolling…eye poke and Anderson is down. He sets for the Rolling Thunder but stomps on Anderson instead. He’s making fun of Van Dam if that wasn’t clear.

Some double teaming fails and Anderson takes them both down. A neckbreaker gets two on Ray and Anderson takes them both down again, including with an Amazing Red double spin kick to Ray for two. Lynn is sent to the floor and the Bubba Bomb is countered into the Mic Check for two. Lynn made the save but Anderson is able to hit the swanton for two. Lynn comes off the top for a save but hits Ray by mistake….for two. Ok then. Lynn distracts Anderson and a shot with the chain is enough for Ray to pin Anderson at 6:23.

Rating: C. I kind of liked the idea of this match as Anderson couldn’t get the win against the numbers game. The attacker of Rob isn’t a huge issue as it’s pretty clear it was Lynn and Ray, which is fine as it makes sense. Not bad here but it was a bit of a stretch to have Ray kick out of the swanton and the shot off the top from Lynn, although that’s a minor complaint.

Storm says he’s happy about Roode getting the title shot and says he’ll make some trouble with Angle even if he didn’t win the Series.

Christopher Daniels vs. Bobby Roode

Daniels comes out in street clothes. He talks about how he won’t wrestle Roode tonight because it would be a great match, but he has nothing left to prove. Three weeks ago he beat AJ in this ring which means a lot more. Cue AJ who wants to know what the deal is with Daniels. Daniels says there’s nothing to get over because Daniels is the better man. AJ is glad he has his confidence back but if Daniels keeps bringing up AJ’s name, there’s going to be another match. Daniels declines but AJ slaps him. AJ goes to leave but Daniels talks some trash and the fight is on.

After a break they’re STILL fighting. They fight to the back and into the Direct Auto Insurance offices. Why would you have an office in the back of a wrestling arena? They go back to the ring and Kaz comes out to break it up. They get calmed down and Daniels kicks AJ in the balls before bailing.

Angle is with Steiner and says he’ll beat Storm tonight because of the training he’s been doing. Steiner has been training him. Steiner says Angle is the best ever and says Kurt will beat Storm.

Back from a break Kaz and Daniels are still arguing. This makes about 20 minutes on the three parts of this segment. Kaz says they’re not his enemies and to calm down.

Kaz goes to AJ and AJ says that was Daniels showing his true colors. He says Daniels lost his mind after getting a little something going. Kaz says that’s Chris being Chris and says the whole thing is BS. AJ throws up in a trashcan due to the pain in his balls. Kaz talks about how this is about the difference between wrestling and life.

Bischoff tells Hogan he’ll find a loophole. Hogan says he’s got it and has a bombshell waiting for next week.

Kurt Angle vs. James Storm

Storm tries to take it to the mat, probably due to a lack of sobriety. Angle for some reason doesn’t want to do that and Storm pops him with a right hand. We go to the mat again with Storm in control but then Kurt is launched over the top and gets to do his front flip and lands on his feet spot. Angle suplexes him on the floor and takes over back in the ring. After a rest hold they both try cross bodies to send both guys down. Angle might be bleeding from somewhere on his arm.

Storm starts his comeback with some clotheslines and Kurt is in trouble. Backstabber gets two. Angle snaps off a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered into what looked to be the Eye of the Storm but Kurt reverses into the ankle lock which Storm can’t break. Yeah Kurt’s forearm/elbow is bleeding but it’s nothing too serious. Storm finally rolls through for two and sends Kurt’s shoulder into the post for two more. Superkick is countered into rolling Germans for two more. You would think all those twos would get three eventually but they never do.

Moonsault misses (duh) and Storm heads to the apron. Kurt, looking like he could use a cheeseburger, tries to run the ropes but gets his head bitten instead. A top rope elbow gets a VERY close two as this has gotten good. They slug it out and the Eye of the Storm is broken up again. And here’s Gunner for interference to set up the Slam for two.

Angle slaps him around and Storm superkicks the referee. Naturally the kick hits Angle the second time and here’s Earl for two as Gunner pulls him out. Gunner clocks Storm with the belt and I guess the match is thrown out at about 11:30. Roode comes in to take out Gunner. He picks up the belt

Rating: B. This was getting good until the end which is probably the best way they could have gone. I still think Storm costs Roode the title at the PPV which is both good and bad as their feud is pretty much guaranteed at some point but they need to let Roode win the title and have a moment first to set up a slow burn heel turn for Storm. Good TV match here until the pretty obvious ending.

Roode holds up the title to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the pacing problems are back. There were two stretches tonight with over half an hour between matches. In short, that is not something that should happen. With TNA’s roster as big as it is, that should never be a problem. You could throw anything out there to bridge one of those gaps. The TV Title was won in late May and has been defended twice since, once in June and once in August. You could throw that out there. Maybe the Pope or someone like that.

But no, instead we need to spend THREE segments on AJ vs. Daniels to set up their 900th match on PPV and have a long segment with Ink Inc beating up the tag champs. The wrestling, what little there was, was just ok and the talking was nothing special other than to show that it should be Storm challenging for the title and not Roode. Not their best effort here but they added to BFG so points for that.

Results
Mickie James b. Brooke Tessmacher – Jumping DDT
Austin Aries b. Jesse Sorensen – Rollup
Bully Ray/Jerry Lynn b. Mr. Anderson – Chain to the throat
Kurt Angle vs. James Storm went to a no contest




Impact Wrestling – September 15, 2011 – Flair vs. Sting, 23 years later

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 15, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

We’re back home in Florida now and we’re on the way to Bound For Glory. The BFG Series is over as well and we’re in the Robert Roode Era as the main event (in name only) of BFG is him challenging Angle for the title. The main part of the show tonight though is Sting vs. Flair with Sting’s career being on the line and Flair trying to prevent Sting vs. Hogan from happening. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the BFG Series matches resulting in Roode winning the tournament. Also Hogan helping Angle keep the title.

Here’s Flair to open the show in robe and presumably ring gear underneath it. He wants to talk to Sting and here’s the crazy man. Flair says tonight it’s Icon vs. God. Sting has an old school colorful robe on. The only way Sting can get to Hogan is over Flair’s dead body. Sting says Flair is going to die tonight then. He’s the Stinger and he’s going to do a lot of evil things to Flair. He’s right in Flair’s face and Sting wants it right now. Security comes in to break it up and Flair says Sting got lucky.

Jeff Hardy is here again.

Jeff says he’s taking another step tonight as far as his recovery goes.

Mexican America vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher

It’s an 8 person mixed tag. Hernandez vs. D-Von gets us going with Hernandez asking D-Von to come at him. He does just that and down goes SuperMex. Off to Anarquia who gets beaten up by Pope a little bit. Despite having black hair, being a black man, being about 20 years younger and sounding nothing like him, Pope winds up playing Ricky Morton. Maybe he’s a method actor or something.

That doesn’t last long as he takes Hernandez down with a clothesline and a double tag brings in the other guys. The girls haven’t been in legally at all yet. Clothesline/shoulder puts Anarquia down and a neckbreaker gets two. The fans chant USA as the good guys avoid stereo low blows. The chicks chase each other on the floor and the Mexican chicks hit on D-Von’s kids. Instead of cheering them on like a normal dad would, D-Von and Pope aren’t happy. The girls get in a big catfight and the male champs are sent to the floor. Despite being illegal, Tara and Tessmacher hit stereo moves (couldn’t see Tessmacher but Tara hit a chokebomb on Rosita) for the pins at 5:04.

Rating: D+. What a mess this was. The girls never were legal and the second half of the match was a big mess with everyone running around in a big brawl. That’s Russo 101: when all else fails, throw the wrestling out the window and have people do so much at once that you can’t tell what’s really going on. It works on occasion but it didn’t here, not with that many people at once.

Karen yells at Traci about being late and says to cover up her chest. Traci’s jobs tonight is to bring the Knockouts to Karen’s office.

Karen is yelling at the Knockouts and tells Mickie she gets no rematch. I don’t see Winter. There will be three matches over the next three weeks to determine who qualifies for a fatal fourway at BFG for the title. Mickie fights Tessmacher, Tara vs. Madison and tonight Velvet vs. Angelina. They’re called Queen’s Qualifiers because if there’s one thing you know about Russo, it’s that he has a name for EVERYTHING.

Fourtune is in the ring and AJ brings out Roode for his big entrance. AJ sings his praises and Daniels does as well. Him beating AJ on a fluke a few weeks ago is mentioned a few times as Daniels brings it up at every possible chance. He brings it up a third time and everyone laughs it off. Kaz says they’re a family and they’ll have each others’ backs. They all have goals and Kaz is lucky to be able to call Roode his brother and his friend. Time for the big one in Storm. After all the time he’s missed with his family and everything he’s sacrificed, this is the payoff. Storm sounds legit here.

Storm says he’s sorry about Kurt’s luck and here’s the champ. He tries to convince the rest of Fourtune that they’re jealous but no one seems to buy it. Angle calls the title the Impact World Heavyweight Championship. Angle has the ability to make matches now (what is he the fourth person in this company that can do that?) and Roode has to fight the members of Fourtune and tonight it’s Kaz.

Back and Eric is proud of Kurt’s decision.

Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love

Angelina jumps her during the entrance (the camera was on the wrong end anyway) but Velvet gets something resembling a bulldog to send Angelina to the floor. Back with Angelina getting two off something we don’t see. Sky’s tights now say Let the Pigeons Loose. Oh great. Just what Tazz needs: a thought that it’s catching on. Sunset flip out of the corner gets two for Velvet. Velvet starts her comeback and tells Winter to get up on the apron. Winter clocks Angelina on the head with the belt (Hebner is cool with it) and a DDT (called a BeauDT but screw that) gives Velvet the win at 9:05 counting commercial.

Rating: D. Your usual Knockout mess here and the ending was really stupid. Why wasn’t that a DQ? Because the script didn’t call for it I suppose. Also, why would Angelina want to go fight Winter? Don’t they love each other or something? Also, seriously, the Beau-DT? I hated the Mick-DT but this is even worse.

Hardy comes up to AJ in the back and AJ doesn’t want to hear it. He calls Jeff selfish and says he almost brought down the whole company. Jeff is selfish and people talk bad about TNA because of him. He’s not out there drinking and doing drugs. AJ says there’s never going to be a time or a place for Jeff to be around AJ. Good stuff from Styles here.

Hogan talks to Flair about the match and says he has a Plan B. Sting pops up and wants to hear Plan A.

Crimson is via satellite and talks about how he’s going to make Joe pay. He’s back in two weeks.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

This is a submission match because…..because we needed a gimmick match. Joe jumps him in the corner which gives him an advantage for what must have been a good three seconds. Morgan beats him down but has no idea what to do as far as submissions go. He puts on a triangle armbar but Joe escapes. He gets up and pounds Morgan down then throws on kind of an inverted figure four for the tap at 4:30. I know that’s a short recap but there’s nothing else to say at all.

Rating: D. Again, WHAT IS THE POINT OF IT BEING A SUBMISSION MATCH??? Joe can beat Morgan at something that is Joe’s specially. Is this a stunning revelation and a great achievement for him? I don’t get it but Russo is obsessed with throwing gimmick matches out there so we’ll chalk it up to one of his quirks.

Kurt comes in to talk to Kaz again, offering him the next title shot after Roode. Kaz throws him out.

D-Von talks to Hardy and the truth is that Jeff is a Little Jimmy. Oh wait wrong show. The truth is that Jeff is trying to throw everything away. D-Von says get it through his head and be the Jeff Hardy he can be. At the end if Jeff fails again it’s over. Jeff turns to leave and D-Von says he’ll have Jeff’s back if he needs it.

Kazarian vs. Robert Roode

Roode has some new tights which is a good thing as he needs something to set him apart as a singles guy now. They still have the dollar signs on them which doesn’t make much sense as the money hasn’t meant anything in a long time. They start technically and Roode grabs a front facelock. Kaz breaks out of it and tries his spinning legdrop but Roode moves.

Tornado DDT is countered into a northern lights suplex for two by Rob. Roode goes a bit harder now and Kaz is sent to the floor. Back inside he grabs a front facelock of his own but they speed it up a bit moer and Kaz tries the Fade to Black. Roode counters into the Crossface and Kaz hangs on for a bit but has to tap at 6:07.

Rating: C+. Fun little match here and Roode getting clean wins over his stable mates is a good idea to give him some main event credential. A clean win like that over AJ, especially one where he catches him in the crossface in a counter, would do very well for his career. Good stuff here and a nice surprise.

Angle is watching in the back.

During the replay Taz calls the Fade to Black the Kryptonite Krunch. There’s already a move called that and it’s nowhere near the reverse piledriver.

Video about the premiere of Angle’s new movie Warrior which has gotten really good reviews.

Roode and Kaz had a small argument during the break because Kaz wants to be in that position but he says Roode proved he was the right man for the spot and they shake hands. Roode says he wasn’t expecting this match but they respect each other.

Austin Aries says he backs up his talk. It’s now the A Double Division because he’s a level above the A Level. Next week he makes his first defense.

Roode vs. Daniels next week and Mickie vs. Tessmacher.

Also Ray/Lynn vs. Anderson/RVD. Lynn says RVD is gullible and if RVD hadn’t been high he would have caught on. Ray says he’s been beating up RVD for 15 years but now he’s tired of Anderson sticking his nose in other people’s business.

Sting vs. Ric Flair

They start off with their usual Sting vs. Flair stuff with Flair getting frustrated because Sting keeps escaping his stuff. It’s not exactly crisp but they’re an average age of 57. We take a break and come back with Sting hitting a clothesline to send Flair to the floor. Back in Flair gets a low blow and after about two shots to the leg it’s Figure Four time. Sting gets out of it and Flair works on the knee ever more.

Sting makes the superhero comeback and hits a superplex for two. It looked more like 3 but Immortal ran in late so the referee had to stop. Hogan and Abyss come out but Anderson runs out for the save. Hogan slips something to Flair and he KOs Sting for two. Flair throws a weak chop and Sting Hulks Up. Stinger Splash sets up the Scorpion and Flair taps at 15:06. Yes, fifteen minutes.

Rating: D. Well it was bad but the initial reports of this being unwatchable are a stretch to put it mildly. They were out there WAY too long and I’d love to see the raw footage of this to see how bad it was minus editing and the commercial. Flair shouldn’t be taking those kind of bumps, but who said he made sense?

Hogan and Sting stare each other down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Sting vs. Flair was pretty bad as most of it was chop/punch/no sell for fifteen minutes but the rest of the show wasn’t horrible. The first hour was pretty weak but the rest of it worked well enough I guess. We have most of the pieces set for BFG and I hope we get more of a concrete card set before the show unlike No Surrender. Not a great show but it’s better than most of their recent stuff.

Results
D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero/Tara/Miss Tessmacher b. Mexican America – Chokebomb to Rosita
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love – DDT
Samoa Joe b. Matt Morgan – Inverted Figure Four
Robert Roode b. Kazarian – Crossface
Sting b. Ric Flair – Scorpion Deathlock




Impact Wrestling – September 8, 2011 – Jeff Hardy Is Late And Back

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 8, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s week two in Alabama and it’s also the go home show for No Surrender. That being said, we only have most of the card so far and the world title match has only been announced on Facebook instead of, you know, on the TV show which the majority of the audience actually sees. The big thing tonight is the return of Jeff Hardy on the day that he was sentenced to ten days in jail on drug charges. The return speech could be very interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with a video about Jeff Hardy and the mess that was Victory Road. He’s back tonight you know.

We also get a clip of last week where Hogan beat Sting up with a chair and cost him the world title. Anderson gets his rematch tonight.

Here’s Anderson to open the show. He talks about how he hasn’t had much to say the last few weeks because he’s been a man of action recently. He signed a deal with the devil though, and that was his own fault. Anderson welcomes the boos for it. The wide shots are really good to see here as there are actual people there instead of it looking like they’re in a lunchbox.

He turns his attention to Bully Ray for keeping him on the outside looking in. Anderson promises to be more annoying than ever before and tonight it starts with him going after Angle. Anderson brings up the dreaded rematch clause and he’s cashing in tonight. He knows it won’t be one on one and he points to the ramp. Here’s Sting to be Anderson’s backup. Sting says he’s like a fungus that won’t go away. This week he’s got the power of the Network and he’ll be the enforcer in the main event.

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero vs. British Invasion

Winners get Mexican America on Sunday. No intro for the Brits. Magnus vs. D-Von to start. Off to Pope quickly who hammers away with elbows to the head. Williams comes in and slows things down a bit as you would expect from him. A clothesline gets two for Magnus. Mexican America are on commentatry. A middle rope elbow by Magnus gets two for Williams.

Pope fires off a DDT to Magnus and both guys are down. There’s the hot tag to D-Von who cleans house with right hands and power moves. Powerslam gets two on Williams. A Cactus Clothesline by Pope puts Williams on the floor and a release spinebuster by D-Von ends Magnus at 3:56. They seem fine despite almost always having problems.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here but it wasn’t that bad. Didn’t D-Von not particularly like Pope last week though? Also this is the best they can do for #1 contenders? They’ve won a total of one tag match (this one) and now they get a title shot. That’s wrestling for you I suppose.

An MMA fighter comes in to see Angle.

The Final Four in the BFG Series are Gunner, Roode, Storm and Ray. The matches Sunday are Roode vs. Gunner and Storm vs. Ray. The guy with the most points after those matches go to the PPV. It’s not a tournament, it’s really a points system to go to the biggest show of the year.

All four finalists are in the ring and Ray gets JB out of there. He respects Beer Money but neither of them is going to Bound For Glory. Ray talks about how tag teams want to become great individual wrestlers and every team has done it. Gunner is a guy that is willing to put his personal desires aside and will make sure Ray goes to BFG to win the title. Wrestlers are selfish so Beer Money won’t lay down for each other.

Roode says he doesn’t buy any of what Ray said but they have their eyes set on the world title. They want to be world champion and Sunday only one can walk out #1 contender. Roode asks Ray who is going to be the better man. It’s going to be Roode or Storm because it’s not going to be Gunner or Ray. Roode promises the Beer Money fans that no one will ever split them and no one will ever kill Beer Money. There’s a fatal fourway later on.

We get a recap of Eric’s Hollywood Adventures.

TV Title: Robbie E vs. Eric Young

That MMA guy is on commentary again. What he has to do with this is beyond me but who cares. Robbie keeps trying to put his feet on the ropes for covers and the referee stops counting. And there go Eric’s pants and he’s wearing Jersey Shore style trunks. He hits the top rope elbow for two. A piledriver ends this at 2:51. I’m fine with these antics if the title is defended.

Rob Terry beats up Young post match with a Last Ride.

RVD is looking for Jerry Lynn and hey there he is. Rob gets in his face and Jerry asks what about him. He complains about having to get a real job instead of getting contracts like Rob did. Eric and Hulk called him and asked him about showing up and he said he’s better than Rob. He admits to screwing him and Rob beats him down.

Velvet talks to Mickie who has a dog with her. She mentions wanting to be champion someday. Karen comes in and complains about life in general, saying get rid of the dog. Winter gets her rematch at No Surrender.

Jeff Hardy is here.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

Sting is guest enforcer. They exchange headlocks to start and it’s a tossup. Angle takes Anderson down with a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. They collide in the middle of the ring and both guys are down. They’re mirroring each other so far. Anderson tries to speed it up but gets caught in a belly to belly for two. Angle Slam is countered and Anderson hits the rolling fireman’s carry drop for two.

Kurt counters the Mic Check and hits the Rolling Germans for two. There go the straps and the ankle lock goes on. Anderson manages to roll through and get two before the Mic Check gets the same. The referee takes a thumb to the eye so Kurt kicks him low and hits the Slam but Sting pulls the referee out. Anderson hits another Mic Check but here’s Gunner for the DQ at 7:12.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t into this as it felt like they were just going through the motions to get to the DQ ending. I can’t stand matches like that because they’re boring and don’t show anything that these guys are capable of. Not a good match for the most part but when you handcuff them like this there’s only so much they can do.

Immortal beats down both guys post match. The fans chant for Hardy but that gets them nowhere.

Immortal is celebrating while Eric is on the phone and doesn’t look happy. He tells them to go outside and isn’t happy with what he hears. He’s almost freaking out about it, asking if it’s a prank call. No idea what it is.

Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love/Winter

Winter vs. Velvet to start but it’s off to Mickie vs. Angelina before there’s any contact at all. Mickie snaps off a rana out of the corner but a Winter distraction results in a kick to the ribs. Velvet gets a blind tag to come in and a low dropkick gets two. There’s a weak monkey flip and she takes both Winter and Angelina down with a headlock/headscissors combo. Love cheats again and Velvet gets beaten down for awhile. After a long beatdown she makes the hot tag to Mickie and we get the title match preview. With the big hulabaloo going on, Winter sprays blood into Mickie’s face at 5:10 for the pin.

Rating: D+. Love is so skinny it’s getting scary. Other than that, this was your typical Knockout tag: it’s not bad but it’s better than the Divas which is the entire point. I’m still not sure why they gave Mickie the title back already and I hope they don’t give it to Winter again on Sunday because it would be pretty stupid to have the change that fast. This wasn’t terrible though.

Here’s Austin Aries to say he’s going to win the title Sunday. He tells the fans to shut up a lot so clearly he’s not a nice person. Aries calls Kendrick a hypocrite and calls out Kendrick here and now. Here’s the champ in a suit with a briefacse. He talks about being tired of being a social outcast and wants to be a success, like Aries. “I’m even wearing shoes!” And yeah he hates them. He goes into a bit rant about how he needs to be free to reach his mother earth and quotes Buddha a bit. Kendrick calls the title materialistic and Aries insults him a lot. The brawl is on and Aries runs.

Hogan is freaking in a good way and Eric is still upset. He talks about going to the beach and Eric says we’re not done yet. The Network isn’t happy. Because of the beating that Hogan is so happy about there’s a three way for the title at No Surrender with Angle vs. Sting vs. Anderson.

James Storm vs. Robert Roode vs. Gunner vs. Bully Ray

One fall to a finish here. It’s tornado rules too. Here’s Joe almost immediately and here’s Morgan just as fast to stop him. Morgan vs. Joe on Sunday also. Ray and Storm stand tall for a bit until Ray runs Storm over. Beer Money cleans house and teases going at it until Ray breaks that up. Gunner goes for a cover and Ray isn’t happy with it. A big clothesline gets two on Roode.

Storm comes back in with a top rope cross body and beats up Gunner a bit. Roode hammers on Gunner and hits the spinebuster for two. Beer Money teases it again but instead they suplex Gunner and SHOUT THEIR NAMES. Ray runs them both over and takes them both out with power stuff. Gunner hits a running knee to Ray’s head for the pin at 5:00. That was nice as he was left in the background and then stole the pin.

Rating: C. This was ok but it was nothing great. I wish this had been the way the BFG Final went at the PPV because it would make more sense but I guess they need to flesh out the card more and have some overly complicated rules. Not bad here and Gunner winning was a nice surprise also. Nothing great but not bad.

Here’s Jeff with like two minutes left. He talks about how he was messed up last time and he’s sorry about it. He had a problem and hit rock bottom there. Everyone is mad at him and he can’t blame them. His eyes look decent at least. He wants one more shot. The fans chant one more shot. He says all he can do is ask and that’s it.

Overall Rating: B-. Pretty good show this week but you can see a lot of problems. For one thing we got three title matches added with three days left before the PPV, one of which is the main event. That’s a match that could draw in some people and they’re adding it in at the last minute. The Hardy thing is too early to tell but my initial instinct is not to trust him, which is partially the point and all of the problem. Good show this week but No Surrender feels thrown together and that’s not good.

Results

D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero b. British Invasion – Spinebuster to Williams

Eric Young b. Robbie E – Piledriver

Mr. Anderson b. Kurt Angle via DQ when Gunner interfered

Winter/Angelina Love b. Mickie James/Velvet Sky – Winter spit blood in James’ face

Gunner b. James Storm, Robert Roode and Bully Ray – Running knee to Ray




Impact Wrestling – September 1, 2011 – Hardy Is Coming Back….Oh Dear

Impact Wrestling
Date: September 1, 2011
Location: Von Braun Center, Huntsville, Alabama
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

No we’re NOT IN ORLANDO TONIGHT! This should be a nice change of pace and it’s always interesting to see the difference between a burned out crowd as the Orlando fans are as opposed to see a fresh group of people seeing it. We get some more building towards No Surrender and it might be the last night of the BFG Series. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Hogan to open the show and threaten to get in a fight with a fan in the front row. He talks about how the Network has approved Sting’s request for a match with Flair which will be in two weeks on the 15th. If Sting wins, it’s Hogan vs. Sting (no date mentioned but Sting said BFG and I can’t imagine it would be any other date) but if Flair wins Sting has to retire. He says it’s time for the Network to start bowing to Hogan instead of the other way.

Here’s Kurt and Hogan apologizes for Dixie screwing him over. Carter can never run things again so tonight it’s Angle vs. Sting so that Angle can cut the cancer out of TNA once and for all. Angle says all of Hogan’s enemies are now his enemies. He promised to take out all of the young guys and would be glad to add a veteran to it.

This brings out Sting who does his usual insane stuff. He’s willing to fight Angle tonight because he wants to I guess. Sting is happy to face Angle so he can move onto Flair and then the big prize of Hogan. Once he beats Hogan, the evil will leave Hogan. Sting goes to leave but Hogan says cut the music. Hogan thinks there’s something going on so Hogan is the guest enforcer.

We get a clip of Crimson being beaten down by Joe and having his leg broken last week. He’s officially out of the BFG Series.

Ray talks about being in the Final Four of the BFG Series and says the title is next.

Roode talks about working his entire career to gethere.

Storm talks about wanting it more than anyone else.

Bound For Glory Series: Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam

For all intents and purposes, the winner is the fourth man. Everyone else is mathematically eliminated and I’m not going to bother listing off the points tonight. It almost has to be Rob going but that would make too much sense so I’m not sure. Joe comes out almost immediately and Morgan jumps up to stop him. Joe kicks him in the balls but security sends him out.

After that we’re back to the match at hand and there’s not much going on. Gunner gets a slingshot suplex but Rob almost rolls out of it. Rob fires off some kicks and hits the Rolling Thunder. Here’s Jerry Lynn but Rob sends him to the back which is probably smart. Rob actually shows some intelligence and doesn’t try to go for the Five Star after being on the floor for a bit.

They trade rollups and Rob falls off the top trying to hit the one footed kick. Rob goes up again but Lynn comes back and shoves him off the top, allowing Gunner to hit a running knee for the pin at 4:57. Lynn’s smile is pretty awesome. This also puts Gunner into the four way at No Surrender as the fourth man.

Rating: C. The match was so-so but the point of this is it sets up a few stories and potential matches. I’m hoping they save RVD vs. Lynn for Philadelphia because it’ll guarantee a huge response no matter what the match looks like. I’m not sure I get why Gunner is going to be in the four way but it’s better than some other choices. At least they seem to have a plan here, which is a big upgrade for them.

Angle vs. Sting is for the world title. I didn’t realize that.

All of the Knockouts are coming to the ring for the announcement about Knockout Law.

After a break here are Eric and Traci for the announcement. Eric praises the Knockouts but then says at the end of the day, they’re still women, meaning they can’t stay focused and are always whining. Traci came to him and offered to lead the Knockouts and more sex is implied. However, Traci isn’t in charge. Karen is and Traci is MAD. Karen has her own music which is an upbeat version of Jeff’s without lyrics.

Karen says the difference between her and the rest of them is she’s a lady. They have to respect her as well. First of all, ODB and Jackie have contracts. Dang it dang it DANG IT. Traci will still have a job, beneath Karen. You can form your own visuals on that one. She’ll be Karen’s assistant, meaning servant for the most part. Tessmacher looks at her bad and is threatened with being fired and sent back to the cabaret.

During the break Winter and Mickie had a staredown and Mickie shoved her, resulting in a catfight.

Jesse Sorensen/Brian Kendrick vs. Kid Kash/Austin Aries

Aries vs. Kendrick at the PPV. Kendrick vs. Kash to start with Kendrick moving way faster than Kash. Arm drag brings in Sorensen who hits a nice dropkick and grabs an armbar. Aries comes in for a bit and is out just as fast. The heels don’t seem to get along but they manage to keep Sorensen in trouble for a bit. He hits a foot to each of their chests and there’s the moderately hot tag to Kendrick.

He kicks both of them and it’s off to Sorensen who gets crotched and almost superplexed. Tower of Doom hits as we go old school X-Division. Sorensen looks dead but manages to send Kash to the floor. Aries hits a suicide dive on Jesse and celebrates a lot. Kendrick is like the chipmunk has pneumonia and takes Aries out. Back inside Kash hits a top rope clothesline and a release suplex to set up a powerbomb but Sorensen rolls him up for the pin at 5:10.

Rating: C+. They packed a lot of stuff in here but it was cool to see an old Cruiserweight style match. It advances both feuds but it’s still nothing I’m dying to see either way. It’s not great but for what it was supposed to be, which was just a five minute match to have Aries vs. Kendrick for a bit, this was fine.

We get a video on Winter and Angelina which was thankfully changed around a lot to keep it from getting way too creepy. Now they’re just vampires which is a lot better than what it could have been.

Winter talks to Angelina about having other lives again. Winter promises to suck the life out of Mickie and the two of them will feast on her bones.

Mickie is tired of the voodoo nonsense. She’s going to wrestle tonight, so Winter needs to bring her A-game.

Video on Jeff Hardy and we actually have the Victory Road incident referenced.

Angle is having coffee and Hogan comes in to yell. He wants Angle to come to New York and take care of the Network, specifically saying kill them. Angle isn’t happy. Hardy gets to have a live mic next week. Oh dear.

Knockouts Title: Winter vs. Mickie James

Mickie goes nuts on her to start and grabs a rollup for two. Angelina tries to throw the belt in and gets ejected. Mickie grabs a half crab and Tazz says it’s very hard to get out of. Less than 3 seconds later Winter grabs the rope and is out of it. Great analysis there Brooklyn dude. Mickie has dominated most of this. The jumping DDT is avoided and both grab the other by the hair and slam them into the mat.

Winter tries that spinning slam but Mickie gets some elbows in and a rollup gets two for each chick. A slow jumping DDT hits for Mickie but Winter gets her foot under the ropes. I’m really glad that wasn’t the ending as it would have looked bad. Enziguri puts Mickie down for two. Winter tries to choke Mickie with something but Hebner makes the save. Mickie kicks Winter upside her head and gets the title back at 6:00.

Rating: D+. This got sloppy in some places like Mickie intentionally having to cover Winter weird so she could get the foot on the ropes. I cannot stand stuff like that because it looks so fake and totally takes the drama out of a near fall. I also don’t get the point in putting the title right back on Mickie after Winter had it for just a few weeks but since this is TNA, I’m sure the answer is “GIVE IT MORE TIME.”

Video on Styles vs. Daniels which is basically Daniels wondering if it’s worth it anymore and wanting one more match to prove it to himself and the fans.

Here’s Morgan to rant about Joe. He says it’s one thing to go after everyone else but now he went suicidal by attacking the Blueprint. He wants a referee too. Joe comes out and beats up the referee and the fight is on. Morgan slugs away and Joe goes for his eyes. Morgan escapes that arm drop move Joe has been using and hammers away.

There are the elbows in the corner and a running Umaga shot in the corner. Joe bails to the floor but pulls the tall guy with him. Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint but steps on the steps too much, letting Joe know he’s coming. Joe kicks him in the little blueprints and cracks Morgan with a chair to leave him laying. Morgan tries to get up and Joe cracks the arm with a chair against the post, trying to reinjure the torn pec.

Robbie E talks to Rob Terry again and is interrupted by Eric Young. They talk about working out and THE TV TITLE WILL BE DEFENDED NEXT WEEK!!!!! I need my medicine!

Styles and Daniels say it’s time for the last match. They talk about someone coming back again but don’t say who.

Hogan is mad about Hardy coming back and tells Immortal about it. Abyss is standing off in the back and isn’t happy it seems. Hogan talks about how the deck is stacked against Sting tonight and implies that he’ll be calling the rest of Immortal out to help Angle in the main event.

AJ Styles vs. Christopher Daniels

Back and forth stuff to start as they know each other so well. Daniels works a headlock which gets him nowhere. A big knee drop gets one for AJ. They go to the floor for a bit and AJ gets a bridging inverted chinlock (that Benoit submission that needs a name) and a gutbuster/backbreaker combo for two. Running STO gets two for Daniels but AJ hits the springboard forearm for two.

This has been very back and forth which makes sense given their history. They strike it out and AJ hits a Pele to send Daniels flying. The backflip into the reverse DDT is blocked and Daniels tries a moonsault (not the BME) which gets knees. AJ tries a springboard something and falls, letting Daniels grab the pin at 7:20.

Rating: B-. The match was good but the ending was designed to look like a botch and Daniels stole the pin. That’s perfectly fine if it leads to Daniels turning which he needs to do badly. It came off like he won on a fluke, which is he celebrates as a legit win will be perfect. It kind of cut the match off out of nowhere, but that’s what needed to happen. This was pretty good overall and the psychology was on.

Post match Daniels won’t shake his hand and is all happy that he finally won. It’s about time he turned.

TNA World Title: Kurt Angle vs. Sting

Hogan is guest enforcer on the outside. Sting has blue on his singlet tonight. They speed things up to start and Sting controls, sending Angle to the floor for a breather. Back in Kurt takes over and grabs a sleeper which doesn’t last long as Sting gets a belly to back. Angle snaps off a German for two but Sting grabs the Death Drop for the same.

Kurt grabs the ankle lock but Sting is able to escape. Angle gets all ticked off but charges into a big boot. There’s the Scorpion with Kurt tapping and Hogan calls out the troops, distracting the referee. Gunner runs down with a chair but the referee takes it from him. Hogan uses the distraction to pop Sting in the chest with a chair and that does nothing. Sting Hulks Up but gets caught in an Angle Slam onto the chair for the pin at 6:35.

Rating: C. This was their usual stuff played at fast forward. The problem of the time not being there for the main event comes into play again as this main evented a PPV a few weeks ago and now there isn’t even seven minutes to give to them. Not anything of note here but I guess it advances Sting vs. Hogan a bit.

Post match Sting gets up again but all of Immortal comes out for the beatdown. Anderson runs out with a bat and cleans house.

Overall Rating: C-. It really is amazing how the crowd being fresh can make a difference. They felt alive tonight and the look of the arena was much better. It felt more professional rather than second rate like they usually do in Orlando. Not a horrible show but the wrestling left a bit to be desired, namely due to nothing having a chance to get going.

For regular TV matches that’s fine but for stuff like the main event which is a big match, it needs time to develop which it didn’t get, due to having to cram everything into the show and have segments that just didn’t need to be there, like Hogan being mad at Hardy and the Knockouts coming out for the Knockout Law thing. This wasn’t as bad as some of their shows but it still wasn’t anything excellent.

Results

Gunner b. Rob Van Dam – Running knee to the head

Brian Kendrick/Jesse Sorensen b. Kid Kash/Austin Aries – Sorensen pinned Kash with a sunset flip

Mickie James b. Winter – High kick

Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Styles slipped off the top rope

Kurt Angle b. Sting – Angle Slam onto a chair




Impact Wrestling – August 25, 2011 – It’s Joe Time

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 25, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s another week closer to No Surrender, meaning the BFG Series is getting close to a finish. Tonight we have Angle vs. Crimson in what is almost guaranteed to have a screwy finish due to them both being big deals at the moment. Also I’m sure we’ll get more from the Hogan/Sting/Flair saga. Anyway let’s get to it.

Also I’m not watching live so the timing may be a bit off.

We open with a recap of the two major storylines in the form of Sting/Hogan/Flair plus Angle/Crimson.

Speaking of Angle, the champion opens us up and is in ring gear. He wants to talk to Crimson and here’s the big man. Angle says Crimson wants to be the big star and wants to be famous. Tonight he’ll face the consequences. Crimson talks about respect and Angle says Crimson has to earn it. Crimson says bring it and he’ll still be standing at the end of the match.

Cue Immortal with Ray saying that Crimson needs to respect Angle. Ray asks Kurt if he’s a part of them and Angle says he can handle this himself. He tells Immortal and especially Jeff to stay out of the match. It’s time to make Crimson famous.

ODB and Jackie talk to Velvet and are partners for some reason tonight. Velvet agrees to have their backs and the other chicks say they could take Velvet out and only the cameraman could see it. ODB just walks off.

The 8/16 episode of Impact was the highest rated ever in England and Ireland. That’s a perk.

Eric and Hogan yell at Flair, telling him to make Sting go away because Hogan isn’t getting in the ring with him, period. Flair says he’ll make it up to Hogan tonight. Hogan says he needs one thing from Ric and that is for Flair to keep his mouth shut. Nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan right?

Jackie/ODB/Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love/Sarita/Rosita

Jackie and ODB are still trying to be all nice to get their contracts. Jackie rolls up Sarita for two quickly as I’m really trying to care about them. Off to Velvet and Rosita and it’s face miscommunication time! After a lot of tagging it’s off to Sarita vs. Velvet in an old feud rekindled. As almost always it goes badly for Sky and the triple team begins in the corner. It’s saying a lot that Velvet Sky being triple teamed by three hot chicks is so uninteresting.

Angelina hasn’t been in yet and is complaining that the team is only working between the two of them. She tags herself in to beat on Velvet a bit more and is promptly kicked off. Since Velvet is there for her looks though she doesn’t take the wide open tag. I guess she isn’t a fan of ODB/Jackie either. Everything breaks down and the unlikely partners tease beating up Velvet in a triple team but save her instead, giving Angelina a double suplex and putting Velvet on top for the pin at 4:07.

Rating: C-. I know I use this term a lot but this was just a six person tag. It’s nothing great but this advances the whole ODB/Jackie thing and possibly starts something with the Mexican chicks against Angelina. If we can get some fresh feuds in there I’m all for it. This wasn’t nearly as bad as some of them have been lately.

Jesse Sorensen vs. Kid Kash

This is #2 vs. #3 respectively but I doubt those numbers are going to mean much for awhile. Kash looks old and Sorensen is a face, carrying a football with him because he’s from Texas. Well I guess a weak gimmick is better than no gimmick. Kash dominates early, hitting a suplex into a release slam.

Moneymaker is blocked and Sorensen starts his comeback with a HHH leaping knee and a pretty sweet dropkick for two. Something resembling the McGillicutter gets two and Jesse goes up. Top rope cross body gets a very close two and I’m liking this Sorensen a bit. And never mind as Kash reverses a rollup and uses the tights for the pin at 3:01.

Rating: C. I liked Sorensen a lot more than I thought I would. The guy can jump pretty well and was trying to play to the crowd a bit also. The football thing doesn’t mean much but it needs time to develop obviously. Kash I don’t see the appeal to as he just looks old. He’s not bad or anything but he’s about as the same as you can be after many years.

Post match Kash yells at Sorensen, calling him a boy. Jesse is all bring it on but he gets pie faced and security breaks it up.

BFG Series stuff with Gunner saying he wants to win it. Roode and RVD say the same thing.

BFG Series Standings:

Crimson 50

Bully Ray 42

Bobby Roode 42

James Storm 40

Gunner 35

Devon 30 (Injured)

Rob Van Dam 25

AJ Styles 24

Matt Morgan 24 (Injured)

Scott Steiner 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Samoa Joe -10

Does Joe ever get any matches anymore?

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. D’Angelo Dinero

Morgan is on commentary because it’s a BFG Series match. Face vs. face here I think and there’s no Jerry Lynn. They’re going fast out there and Rolling Thunder hits knees. Thankfully Pope got his knees up above his chest instead of Rob just missing it which I can’t stand. Forearm gets two for Dinero.

Rob takes over again and gets a reverse bridging chinlock (Benoit used it a lot and their backs are to each other. You know the move) and then an abdominal stretch as he’s looking for the submission. They’re using the psychology here which is good to see. DDT gets two for Pope. Top rope fist drop gets two for Pope but he gets his head kicked off, resulting in a surfboard getting the submission (REALLY???) at 5:00. Rob won if that wasn’t clear.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t feeling this and while the psychology makes sense, I’m not wild on it at all as Rob using a submission just looks weird. Why wouldn’t he use the move like that the rest of the time if he can get a clean submission that fast? Not a horrible match or anything but it really could have been better given more time.

Back from a replay and Joe is here attacking Pope’s knee. He puts on a leg bar until D-Von hobbles out (he’s injured and out of the Series) and stops in front of his kids. The kids go make the save but he yells at them and eventually asks for a chair. Joe bails but D-Von did make the save.

Robbie E asks Rob Terry to be his partner/bodyguard. Terry says he’ll think about it and leaves.

Immortal has a meeting about their match and Steiner is mad.

Angelina is on the phone and the Mexican chicks come in and beat her down. Winter makes the save and FREAKS, choking I think Rosita with a curtain cord. The male Mexicans make the save.

For about the third time tonight we see some boots in the back.

Bischoff hits on Traci as she might be doing the Knockout Law thing again. Something important here: all that is mentioned here is Eric is thinking about Knockout Law. There’s no explanation about that or what Traci’s name is, so to someone new to the show, this is kind of confusing no? Eric wants to get together and sex is implied.

Here are Hogan and Flair to end the Sting situation. Hogan says the main problem right now is there’s a problem. He calls out Sting and the crazy dude is here. Hogan says this needs to end tonight because it’s gone way too far. Sting has no fries left in his Happy Meal now. Hulk says we can’t have all this craziness going on and even says he might be partially to blame. From this point forward the company will be run perfectly.

Sting says deal on one condition. Hogan says deal as he’ll do anything. Sting wants….milk and cookies for everyone. Maybe some balloons and a unicorn as well. What about puppies for all the people and some flowers (including a stereotypical gay voice for that one). This prompts some Mr. Nanny level acting from Hogan as he’s stunned. Sting kisses him on the cheek a few times and heeeeeeeeeeeeeere’s Ric!

Flair goes into one of his usual insane moments, shoving Hogan and talking about how he’s the real insane one and he’ll beat Sting up when they fight because Sting respects him too much for the kill. An F Bomb is dropped in there also. Hogan is freaking Sting makes fun of Flair anyway. Sting doesn’t mind going through Flair to get to Hogan because he’s crazy like Flair. Sting wants Hogan at Bound For Glory, which I think we’ve all known was the ultimate end game for the last few months.

There’s supposed to be a hardcore BFG Series six man here but AJ comes out instead. He calls out Daniels who isn’t in the match tonight. AJ wants to talk about the rematch that Daniels wants. He doesn’t get why Chris wants the rematch and wants to know why right here. Daniels isn’t sure if he has it anymore and if he can do it at the top level anymore. He isn’t sure if he wants to be a wrestler anymore. AJ says one more time and it’s a big emotional moment. Daniels wants it at No Surrender but AJ says he’ll be in the BFG Series Final there so how about next week. Daniels says cool.

AJ Styles/Beer Money vs. Immortal

Ray/Gunner/Steiner here. This is Hardcore remember. Big brawl to start and Storm spits beer at someone, just like Steiner does at Roode. No one has been in the ring yet but they don’t have to be here. I think whoever gets the fall here gets the points. Gunner vs. AJ in the ring now and Abyss is watching from the ramp. Dang AJ has a great dropkick. It only gets one and here’s Steiner with a belly to belly.

Roode comes in and gets the Blockbuster for two. Ray kicks his head off for two and there have been no tags at all so far. Now it’s Storm with a kick to the head and a cross body for two on Ray. The former champs hit a double suplex on Ray and SHOUT THOSE NAMES. Roode looks jacked here. AJ wakes up and hits a HUGE dive to the floor to take out Ray. He’s holding his knee though.

Gunner sends Storm into the set for two and Steiner misses a chair shot. Abyss is still lookint down at them. We go split screen which for once is a good idea. The fans boo because as usual, THEY CAN’T SEE ANYTHING. Beer Money is getting beaten down and Storm has a locker dropped on his knees. Gunner, ever the smart dude, walks away as AJ hits the springboard clothesline for two on Ray back in the ring. Gunner comes back and AJ is distracted, letting Ray hit the Bubba Bomb for the pin on AJ at 6:00.

Rating: C. Meh just another six man hardcore match. It’s not bad or anything but it wasn’t great. Right in the middle works pretty well I think. It’s good to see someone move up in the ranks in the form of Ray but I’d like to see someone with an actual chance of going to BFG get the points instead. At the moment it’s looking like Beer Money, Ray and Crimson. For some reason, that doesn’t blow my skirt up.

Immortal sets for a beatdown but Anderson comes into the back in a Hummer for the save. He gets the chain from Ray and leaves Gunner gushing blood. I guess Anderson vs. Gunner or Ray can be penciled in for BFG. Granted it’s Anderson so who knows with him. Abyss walks away. I forgot he was even there.

Mickie rants about Winter/Angelina (not by name for awhile because that could tell people what they’re talking about) cheating and how she’s getting the title back next week.

Now it’s time for some Eric Young shenanigans as he finally finds Scott Baio. It actually turns into a chase scene and Young, in his underwear, jumps out of a tree onto Baio and counts the pin himself. Ladies and gentlemen, the TELEVISION CHAMPION!!! (for those counting, this would be the 12th Impact in a row where the TV Title hasn’t been defended).

Crimson vs. Kurt Angle

There are some big match intros for you. This is non-title. The fans are split here and Crimson shoves him around to start. It’s almost all red man so far. There’s the cravate which have some knees and a neckbreaker added in for two. Angle finally gets in a shot to the bad knee and it’s time for a break.

Back with Angle holding a weird kind of arm/chinlock on Crimson. Double shoulder block puts both guys down and there’s a suplex for two. The German is no sold and the spear from Crimson gets two. There’s the ankle lock with the grapevine and Crimson actually manages to escape. The leg is no sold again and the Red Sky hits. Joe comes in for the DQ at 10:45 total as you would expect.

Rating: C+. Not horrible but the ending was all they could do. The problem here was that they had nothing else to do. With Crimson possibly looking to be in the main event of BFG and being undefeated, we can’t have him lose here. At the same time Angle can’t lose clean to him so the DQ ending was all they could do.

Joe and Angle have a brief staredown but Angle leaves so Joe can beat on him even more. Crimson no sells THAT and Joe runs.

Mike and Taz run down the card for next week.

Crimson says he wants Joe next week. Joe jumps him and beats him down (with ease) and breaks his leg using a cinder block, the steps and the power of fat.

Overall Rating: C. We’ll go with right in the middle here as there’s nothing too horrible on it but there’s nothing all that great either. Joe was the main focus of this show as it seems like he might be trying to take out everyone else and get in the back door of the tournament, which isn’t a horrible idea actually. I’m hoping they don’t do that as I wouldn’t want the whole thing to be wasted, but I’ve heard of worse ideas. Anyway not bad here but nothing great.




Impact Wrestling – August 18, 2011 – Flair is Here. Like Here A LOT.

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 18, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Tonight we’re likely to get the fallout of Angle attacking Crimson last week as well as Sting vs. Hogan/Angle. I’m not wild on either story but that’s what we have to go with leading up to No Surrender. Also we should get an answer from AJ about Daniels challenging him for another match at the same PPV. Also there are Bound (get it?) to be be more Series matches. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Angle segment with Sting and Hogan. The idea is Angle is mad at Dixie for lying about Karen and Jeff. Now he’s going after all of the young talent one by one, starting with Crimson.

Here’s Sting to open the show, chair and bat in hands. Sting stops to roll down the ramp. Uh…sure. He says it was a redoing of last week where he got beaten up. He doesn’t remember what happened but he does remember that he was nervous, as his shirt says. It was however awesome to be beaten up by Hogan, who still has the (cue singing) Eye of the Tiger.

Sting says the fans and he both want to see the Hulkster back in the ring right? He starts a Hogan chant because he wants Hogan in the ring tonight. Instead he gets…Ric Flair. He asks if Sting just called Hogan the greatest ever. Sting is in fact an icon and people ask Flair when they’ll wrestle again. The fans want one more Flair vs. Sting match. There goes the jacket and Flair says in order to get back to where he uses to be, he has to wrestle Sting again. He doesn’t have to win, but just wrestle him. If he beats Sting, Sting retires. If Sting wins, Flair will deliver Hogan to Sting.

Sting asks the people and they seem into it. Flair smells like garlic and Sting accepts the match.

Post break Flair goes into Hogan’s office and Hogan is FREAKING. Hogan wants to know if Flair is on goofball pills. He thinks Sting should be dead and Flair says it’s not a big problem. Flair says he’ll get the troops together tonight. Hogan swears he’ll never wrestle Sting so Flair hugs Hogan and kisses him on the cheek. Ok then.

Bound For Glory Series standings:

Crimson 50

Bully Ray 42

Bobby Roode 35

James Storm 33

Devon 30

Gunner 28

Rob Van Dam 25

Matt Morgan 24 (out)

AJ Styles 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Scott Steiner 14

Samoa Joe -10

There are three weeks left and the final four advance to BFG.

D-Von says he’ll beat Scott Steiner and is going to BFG.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner vs. Devon

D-Von’s kids are there of course. He takes over to start and gets a pair of two counts quickly. And never mind as Steiner gets a rollup and puts his feet on the ropes for the pin at 1:10. What the heck was that?

Post match Joe sneaks in on Joe and beats him up, putting a leg hold on him. D-Von’s kids want Pope to come help him but they jump the railing (security around here sucks) to stop it and Pope comes in late for the save.

There’s an X-Division gauntlet which determines the rankings of the division and #1 contender next.

Post break Joe says don’t act surprised because this is how he does things. He’s taking everyone down with him. He’s going to take out the entire Series.

Alex Shelley vs. Tony Nese vs. Kid Kash vs. Robbie E vs. Zema Ion vs. Jesse Sorensen vs. Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is a gauntlet match. Shelley vs. Haskins (who looks like Morrison but less tanned and built) with Shelley beating the tar out of him. The first person out is #8 in the rankings, making the whole rankings stupid because whoever got the first two spots have a 50/50 chance of being last. Shelley keeps trying Sliced Bread but Haskins keeps blocking it. They trade pinning combination attempts and Haskins gets something resembling the inbred cousin of the GTS for the pin at 1:56.

Robbie gets pinned at 2:20 (total time on each, meaning there were about 24 seconds between pins).

Ion comes in third and hits a missile dropkick and some nice stuff including throwing Haskins’ face into Ion’s feet (yes that’s what happened) for two. A 450 gets the pin at 3:30.

Off to Sorensen who starts fast but gets taken down just as quickly. 450 hits knees and Ion is gone thanks to something like a spinning DDT at 4:20. This is why I hate gauntlet matches: the pins come WAY too fast.

Nese is in next and likes to attack by running. The rankings are in reverse order, meaning that Shelley is #8, Robbie is #7 etc. German gets two on Sorensen. That same spinning DDT ends Nese at 5:50.

Kash comes in and we take a break. Back with Kash hitting a moonsault for two on Sorensen. Only Aries is left. Moneymaker, the double underhook piledriver is countered into a rollup for the pin at 10:50.

Aries is in last but Kash comes in and hits the Moneymaker to kill Sorensen. Aries comes in and puts his foot on the chest for two. Brainbuster is countered into a small package for two. There’s a running dropkick in the corner and now the brainbuster ends this at 12:20 total.

Rating: D. I cannot stand these kind of matches. Why in the world should I believe that a regular match should take longer than a minute and a half now when something like this had seven pins in less than 13 minutes (with who knows how much it was shortened during the break)? I wasn’t a fan of this, namely due to the speed of the pinfalls which is a problem with these matches in general.

Aries talks about Kendrick post match and the champ comes out to offer a handshake which Aries declines. Kendrick jumps him and beats the tar out of the #1 contender.

Flair is getting ready for a fight. Don’t tell me Sting vs. Flair is tonight.

Sting is pacing in the back.

Anderson is out with two ruptured eardrums.

BFG ad.

ODB and Jackie are excited for a match later where they’re going to get a roster spot. Oh freaking joy.

Traci comes in to see Eric and he hits on her. She has an idea for Eric and wants to be Knockout Law again. In essence she’s in charge of them and Eric makes her lean over so he can look down her shirt. She was in Playboy dude.

ODB vs. Mickie James

Mickie gets her rematch on September 1. Mickie hammers away but gets caught in a fallaway slam. I think Mickie’s hair is blonder now. It’s power vs. speed here and Mickie gets a neckbreaker to put both of them down. They nip up at the same time and slug it out. Some clotheslines put ODB down and a rana is blocked. James is sent to the floor and Jackie wants to jump her but can’t. Mickie gets back in but the DDT is blocked. Bronco Buster misses for ODB and the DDT hits this time, ending things at 5:47.

Rating: D+. Wasn’t feeling this one at all but I think that’s more for my utter disdain for Jackie. I’ve never been able to stand her, namely due to her being so freaking LOUD all the time. Her voice is annoying and I have no idea what people keep hiring her for. Her matches aren’t anything of note and she’s not interesting at all. Either way, the match was dull, namely due to ODB focusing on rubbing her body too much.

Winter and Angelina have a weird moment over the title. Just get them to a lesbian scene already. She says she can beat Mickie. They’re having wine and it looks like it’s got blood in it. Winter calls it orgasmic.

Bound For Glory Series: Rob Van Dam vs. AJ Styles

Lynn is outside again. Technical stuff as usual to start as they feel each other out a lot. AJ gets a backbreaker for two. Knee drop gets the same. BIG monkey flip sends Styles down though and it even gets a replay. Rolling Thunder hits for two. Lynn gets annoyed and Rob isn’t pleased with Jerry getting up.

RVD gets crotched and AJ looks to take over again with a superplex but Rob counters. Five Star hits knees and Styles gets two. They slug it out and an attempt at the Clash is broken up. AJ hits the Pele and Lynn pulls the referee out for the DQ at 5:22, costing RVD another ten points.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match but with only five minutes these two aren’t capable of getting anything going. That isn’t their fault but it’s really just kind of reality. Either way this wasn’t anything special. It felt like a collection of spots as a means to the end of the match, which was Lynn interfering. It’s pretty clear they’re going for RVD vs. Lynn at BFG, which isn’t a bad move. The match wasn’t bad or anything but it didn’t have time to go anywhere.

Rob yells at Lynn post break.

Flair is talking to no one it seems and things start moving around. He says Sting isn’t the Joker and we hear a pipe fall. Flair keeps looking for him and more stuff moves/falls. He calls out Sting but all he hears are more noises. Something big falls and Flair says he’s counting to five and is starting at four. He doesn’t have time for this as he has to go to a bar later. Sting finally appears but someone jumps him. It’s Gunner and Sting rams him into some boxes. Flair fires Gunner and leaves while Sting keeps beating on him. Sting tells Gunner he’ll go somewhere someday.

Time for more Eric Young hijinks. He tries to wrestle some woman and wants to find Scott Baio, again. He’s told Baio is in the Valley and the showdown is next week. Good for it.

Crimson is here and is limping.

Here’s Crimson in the arena and he’s limping badly. He says he used to respect Angle and calls him out because they have some issues now. Angle doesn’t respect him because he’s a nobody. The young talent, built around Angle, has meant nothing. Without Angle, Crimson is uncoordinated and green. Angle says Crimson needs him (Angle) to get anywhere. Crimson says no one in the back disrespects Angle and Angle calls Crimson nothing.

He goes to leave and Crimson stops him. Crimson challenges Angle for next week where he’ll show him why he’s the future and and the here and now. He’s REAL. He’s DANG REAL.

Mexican America says they’ll win the titles next.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Mexican America

The Jarretts are on commentary here. This is billed as the final showdown. The champs take over to start as Jeff talks about Mexico and is way funnier than he should be, especially given what he’s talking about. Hernandez gets a shot in on Storm and takes over, also getting two. Off to Anarquia who gets two off a double shoulder block.

Jeff and Karen are shocked that Tenay speaks so highly of the Guerreros. He accuses Hector of having some cerveza as Storm gets a shot in on Anarquia but Hernandez breaks up the tag. Border Toss is countered into a Codebreaker and here’s Roode off the hot tag. Blockbuster gets two. Angle has accepted Crimson’s challenge. Beer Money hits a slingshot into a DDT on Anarquia.

Double suplex puts Hernandez down and LET’S SHOUT OUR NAMES! Rosita comes in and spits beer in Storm’s face which doesn’t work for some reason here. They go after her and Karen bounces down to ringside. Jeff comes down as well and the distraction lets Hernandez get a shot to the head of Roode with the AAA belt and the Mexicans win the titles at 7:25.

Rating: C. Match wasn’t bad and they really needed to dot he title switch here. Beer Money had held the titles forever and the switch is the right thing here, especially with the Jarrett Mexican Champion thing going on. Not a great match or anything but it accomplished the goal that it needed to, which is really all you can ask for here.

Overall Rating: D+. This show wasn’t without merit but it felt like it was boring for the most part. It’s very hit or miss and the misses caught up with it at the end. Sting and Flair were on screen WAY too much tonight. The problem with that is it takes up from other stuff you can do, like have a match for example. Winter and Angelina are vampires or something (totally more serious than leprechauns right?) and Eric Young is still in Hollywood because COMEDY IS GREAT, especially when it keeps the champion from defending his title in two and a half months right?

On the other hand the Crimson thing was good and you can see the shapings of the next two PPVs really coming into focus. Having Joe do the run-in post match was interesting and it would make me think he’s going to No Surrender, but if he can never get a match how is that supposed to happen? I guess that’s what house shows are for but they’re rapidly running out of time. Anyway, hit and miss show tonight and it certainly wasn’t horrible, but it missed for the most part I thought.

 

Results

Scott Steiner b. Devon – Rollup with feet on the ropes

Austin Aries won a gauntlet match last eliminating Jesse Sorensen

Mickie James b. ODB – Jumping DDT

AJ Styles b. Rob Van Dam via DQ when Jerry Lynn interfered

Mexican America b. Beer Money – Hernandez pinned Roode after a belt shot




Impact Wrestling – August 11, 2011 – Sting vs. Hogan Is Going To Happen Isn’t It?

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 11, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the show after Hardcore Justice which last year was the Whole F’N Show but this year is more of an explanation show. Angle turned heel (it seems) on Sunday by hitting Sting with a chair to win the title. Hogan was there also but there was no evidence that he was combined with Angle. It should be interesting as we’re getting close to BFG time which could be rather shaky indeed. Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from after the PPV ended and Angle says he took an opportunity which is something Sting would have done as well. We also get some stills from the match which shows Angle using the chair but Hogan not being involved. Kurt is champion now and he’ll take it like he did.

Here’s Immortal including Abyss to open the show. Anderson stays a few feet behind Ray and is the last in line. Ray is the mouthpiece as usual and says that Abyss is becoming a huge disappointment. He wants to know if Abyss seriously lost to AJ at the PPV. Abyss is on thin ice with Bischoff. Tonight there’s a fatal fourway in the BFG Series with three Immortal members and Crimson. Ray says he’s winning the series and winning the title.

On to Anderson now and Ray doesn’t like him. However he was impressed by the beating Anderson took on Sunday. Anderson belongs in Immortal and Immortal can benefit from having him. They need to put their problems aside though because it’s about Ray being world champion and Immortal taking over TNA and all that jazz.

He sticks his hand out to Anderson but Anderson laughs and doesn’t shake it. Ray yells at Anderson for not taking him seriously and the fight is on. Steiner tries to break it up so Anderson beats him up too. Gunner and Abyss get in a shot and a kind of weak beatdown is on. Ray loads up the chain and blasts Anderson with it to leave him laying. Anderson is bleeding and Ray says get him up again. Security comes down and gets beaten up to. The TNA agents come out and Immortal leaves. Didn’t see that coming. He’s taken out on a stretcher as we go to a break.

Back and Anderson doesn’t want to be on the stretcher but he’s taken to the hospital.

Bischoff apologizes to the team for bringing Anderson in. Ray says it’s ok. Eric says Hogan is coming here as is Angle. He doesn’t know what’s going on with Kurt though. Abyss says we’ll be ready. Eric doesn’t like the term we.

Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James

Winner is #1 contender to Winter. The mist from Sunday is now called blood. Oh and Mickie is fine. She tries to grab a rollup like she did at Lockdown. Madison gets on the mat and kind of kicks at Mickie who is just standing there. Now she throws what looked like a bracelet to James and while the referee isn’t looking goes for the eyes. Madison tries the hump the mat thing but Mickie counters into a rollup with a nice view. Spinning seated dropkick gets two. Mickie nips up and the Thesz Press off the top. With Madison’s tiara on the jumping DDT ends this at 3:00.

Rating: C. More or less a squash here for Mickie but when the girls look like this I can live with it a bit more. Mickie getting her rematch is a good thing because she got cheated out of the title in the first place. This was fine I guess and Mickie looked good both from a wrestling standpoint and a looks perspective so I’m fine all around here.

Angle is here.

Robbie E vs. Brian Kendrick

Austin Aries is on commentary. Non-title here I think. Robbie jumps Kendrick while the music is still playing. We’re on a chinlock less than a minute in. Kendrick gets sent to the floor and Cookie steps on his head a bit. Robbie yells at her for some reason. Back inside now and they slug it out with Kendrick winning. He fires off a bunch of forearms but Sliced Bread is broken up. Cookie sprays the hairspray into Robbie’s eyes (referee is like cool, whatever) and Sliced Bread ends this at 2:43. This was fine.

D-Von and Pope are talking and Pope gets a text from someone congratulating them on their match. D-Von congratulates Pope on the win but says if he cheats him tonight it’ll be a beating. Pope says let’s go win but D-Von doesn’t trust him still.

The Jarretts are here with Mexican clothing on.

Robbie yells at Cookie post break and there’s a lot of cursing. Cookie blames him, Robbie blames her, they say it’s over.

Bound For Glory Standings

Crimson 43

James Storm 33

Devon 30

Gunner 28

Bully Ray 28

Bobby Roode 28

Rob van Dam 25

Matt Morgan 24 (injured)

AJ Styles 21

D’Angelo Dinero 17

Scott Steiner 14

Samoa Joe -10

Bound For Glory Series: Beer Money vs. AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam vs. D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero

Rob’s left hand is taped. Christopher Daniels pops up on commentary and the match starts after a break. After the break (complete with the mini screen of Daniels talking) he challenges AJ to a rematch from Destination X. After issuing the challenge he leaves. D-Von starts with RVD and it’s off to Pope quickly. AJ comes in in a Lockdown 2010 rematch. Storm is tagged in and tried to steal a pin but AJ breaks it up.

D-Von and Pope work well together, resulting in a two count for D-Von on Storm. Storm goes up to the middle rope and hits an elbow, allowing Roode to get the tag. Spinebuster gets two on Pope but Van Dam saves. Beer Money, being the only real team in this, double teams the best as things quickly break down. AJ comes in with the forearm but D-Von takes him down with a spinebuster/chokeslam. Pope and D-Von clear the ring and set for something on AJ but D-Von takes Pope out by mistake. Roode comes in and a fisherman’s suplex pins Pope at 5:00.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent three way tag here and we get more of D-Von vs. Pope. It’s the same stuff we’ve been getting for the most part but at least it’s something. I think at least. Anyway, the Daniels vs. AJ 9 or whatever should be good if not a bit pointless. Beer Money winning shouldn’t shock anyone since they’re the champions and all.

Angle is up next.

Angle thanks the fans for their caring about the PPV. This isn’t about him joining the dark side or anything like that. He thanks Sting also. This is about Karen and Jeff and the marriage stuff. Someone that isn’t a wrestler called him and told him not to blame Karen or Jeff. There was a third party that caused the divorce, and that was Dixie Carter.

He went to Carter three years ago and was told that she knew nothing of the affair. The third party (the person that called him) told Kurt about this. Carter lied to prevent a media disaster and Kurt didn’t kill Jeff to prevent one also. This is the beginning of him keeping Carter from coming back and he’s going to stop all of the young talent to keep her away.

Angle goes to leave but Sting pops up on Kurt’s riser in the stage. Kurt holds up the chair for defense but Sting knocks it away with the bat. Angle drops down to his knees and Hogan comes out and cracks Sting with the chair. Angle says Hogan was the informant that told him about all of the affair and Carter’s lies. Hogan wears him out with the chair. He throws Sting in the ring (Sting in jeans is a weird sight) and beats him down with fists. Kurt comes in and Hogan raises Kurt’s arm.

Video on BFG being in Philadelphia and how this is the most important show of the year.

ODB/Jackie vs. Tara/Miss Tessmacher

There’s a Tessmacher chant as she and Jackie start us off. Tessmacher takes her down with a dropkick and it’s off to Tara who gets a sunset flip for two. Off to Tessmacher who does her stupid thing in the corner. Tara vs. Jackie now and a side blockbuster gets two for Tara. We get about the fourth headlock of the match and Tara avoids some cheating. Off to ODB now and Jackie won’t let her throw a punch. Tara gets a superplex to slow ODB down and everything breaks down. Jackie and ODB set for a stomping but Jackie says no. Brooke (her official first name now) takes the heels down and rolls up Jackie for the pin at 5:20.

Rating: D. This was either weird or stupid. The evil ones now have to play nice to impress Bischoff or something after being all evil for like two months. Why we’re supposed to care about them is beyond me but whatever. The match sucked, namely due to the girls not being sure what they were doing. Brooke is improving though.

A bunch of guys are outside Bischoff’s office.

The X-Division is in Eric’s office. Abyss is there and is scolded for messing things up. There’s now a 225lb weight limit on the division. There’s going to be a #1 contender gauntlet match next week. Aries sucks up to Eric a bit and gets to stay while everyone else leaves.

Here are the Jarretts in Mexican clothing. We get some clips of Triplemania where Jeff won the AAA Title (which is censored from the show). Jeff says this is all an act or something but it’s real. Jeff needs to learn the nuances of Mexico and needs the endorsement of the Mexican people and for the Immortal Title. He’s gone all over the Mexican cities (his words) and has gotten endorsed. He has the Lopez Brothers in the back to endorse him. They’ve done the landscaping for TNA since 2007.

It’s implied that they’re illegal aliens and their names are Jose and Jos-B. Say it out loud and you’ll get the joke. They’re both kind of short but it may be Jeff’s sombrero. Jeff wants an endorsement but they don’t speak English. They see Hector Guerrero in the Spanish announce table and FREAK, wanting him to come to the ring. Now they only know how to talk about Guerreros. Jeff beats them up but Hector comes out for the save. This was hilarious and one of the funniest things TNA has done in a LONG time.

Eric Young is still in Hollywood and is looking for Scott Baio. I give up.

Anderson, looking like a zombie with blood on his head still, is here again and comes into Immortal’s locker room (complete with lockers) and gets jumped by Gunner. There’s what sound like a beating with a chain that we don’t see.

Matt Morgan comes out for commentary, now out of his sling.

Bound For Glory Series: Crimson vs. Bully Ray vs. Gunner vs. Scott Steiner

This gets big match intros because it’s the last match. You have to tag in this. Ray starts it off but it’s off to Gunner very quickly. Crimson takes over quickly and grabs the cravate for some knees to the head. Gunner takes him down and Ray wants in. Crimson gets up so Ray tags in Steiner. Scott beats him down and there are the push-ups. Gunner uses the numbers but Crimson gets things going and sends Gunner into Ray and rolls up Gunner for the pin at 5:07.

Rating: C-. Nothing here really but the idea of Ray being scared to fight Crimson and the lack of Anderson running in was fine. It was good to make Crimson look good but at the same time it was pretty dull. What does it say that Immortal can’t beat one guy in five minutes though?

Post match Angle comes down and beats up Crimson, mainly going after the leg.

Overall Rating: B-. While there were some bad parts to this, the show overall worked pretty well. They’re setting up BFG now with some big matches it seems. I’m not thinking I’ll like most of them but they’re certainly setting them up which is the most important part right now. Either way, this was one of the better shows they’ve put on in awhile and much better than last week. I’ll even ignore the lack of ANY match reaching 6:00.

Results

Mickie James b. Madison Rayne – Jumping DDT

Brian Kendrick b. Robbie E – Sliced Bread #2

Beer Money b. AJ Styles/Rob Van Dam and D-Von/D’Angelo Dinero – Fisherman’s suplex to Dinero

Miss Tessmacher/Tara b. ODB/Jackie – Rollup to Jackie

Crimson b. Scott Steiner, Bully Ray and Gunner – Rollup to Gunner




Impact Wrestling – August 4, 2011 – Longest First Hour Ever

Impact Wrestling
Date: August 4, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Hardcore Justice which is looking like a pretty well built card. Angle vs. Sting is a match I only kind of want to see so there isn’t much there. Other than that we have more of Immortal’s implosion tonight with Ray vs. Anderson in a feud that scares me to death. There are a lot of loose ends right now in TNA so I’m actually interested in seeing the show so far. Let’s get to it.

We open with a quick recap of the ending to last week’s show with Sting and the bird plus the issues with Anderson and Ray.

Here’s Immortal in the ring with Ray introducing all of them. Ray says Abyss is the only person he’s afraid of. After the introductions are done, Ray says that this town ain’t big enough for Immortal and Fourtune. Anderson says this ring ain’t big enough for him and Ray. Anderson isn’t happy with Ray volunteering him for the match last week and then screwing him over.

It may not be tonight or next week or next year, but one day Anderson will get him back. Ray wants to now who Anderson is again. Ray talks about how Anderson lost the title in one week. He says he’s Bully Ray, a 23 time world champion. When Hogan and Bischoff aren’t around, he’s in charge of Immortal. Anderson is just something on Ray’s shoe on his way to the title. Anderson wants a match at Hardcore Justice and Ray is all cool with that. Anderson….I think sings a song and they start brawling.

Immortal pulls them apart and here’s Fourtune. Kaz talks for a bit and here comes Fourtune for the brawl. Fourtune has a six man with Immortal on Sunday against I guess Gunner, Abyss and Steiner. Storm legit hurt his back in this but from what I understand it wasn’t anything serious.

Madison Rayne vs. Miss Tessmacher

Mickie is on commentary here. Tara comes out with her tag partner Tessmacher. And never mind as Tara is sent to the back just before we get started. Madison takes over quickly and does her hump the mat with the chick’s head move. Madison yells at Mickie and gets rolled up for the pin at 1:35.

Post match Madison chokes Tessmacher and Mickie goes to make the save, only to be blasted by Angelina. Mickie fights her off but Winter comes out and beats her down even more.

Bound For Glory Standings

Crimson 40

James Storm 33

Rob Van Dam 28

Gunner 28

Bully Ray 28

Bobby Roode 28

Matt Morgan 24 (eliminated due to injury)

Devon 23

AJ Styles 21

Scott Steiner 14

Pope 7

Samoa Joe 0

Bound For Glory Series: AJ Styles vs. Devon

Basic stuff to start with AJ avoiding various offense using speed. Pope is with D-Von’s kids again. D-Von gets a back elbow for two and spots Pope. AJ grabs a rolling cross armbreaker but D-Von makes the floor. Styles Clash is blocked as in D-Von’s reverse inverted DDT. Pele gets two as Daniels is seated at ringside cheering AJ on. AJ goes to yell at him and misses a springboard, letting Devon rolling him up for a pin at 3:35. Yes that really happened.

Rating: C. Nothing here at all as it’s almost too short to grade. D-Von is nothing of note at all as he’s just D-Von. The Pope and Daniels things could be interesting eventually but at the moment it doesn’t look like anything is coming from them. I wasn’t impressed here but the stuff that they did was ok I guess. Not a fan of the same ending to two matches in a row though.

Post match AJ blames Daniels for the loss. Daniels says he’s been waiting on AJ to talk to him about something but AJ is mad.

We recap Angle vs. Sting which is about how they’ve had a long history. It helps that they acknowledge Angle has beaten Sting before, just not cleanly. I can live with that.

Pope says he’ll beat D-Von at the PPV.

Bound For Glory Series: D’Angelo Dinero vs. Samoa Joe

Dinero uses his boxing background to make Joe back off and then locks on an armbar. They head to the floor and Dinero runs a bit. Dinero takes over and here comes Devon. I don’t think Pope sees him but he gets caught in a Koquina Clutch and we’re done at 2:45. And then Joe won’t let go so the decision is reversed. Dinero gets 3 points for the DQ win and Joe is now at -10.

In the back Joe snaps on management, saying they don’t want him near the top because he’s a threat. He’s coming strong later.

Storm says his back is too hurt to go in his street fight so Roode is taking his place in it.

Bully Ray is on the phone with Hulk and says Anderson started the fight. It sounds like a parent and their child. Ray is told to apologize and says he’ll do it out of respect for Hogan.

Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode

This is a street fight and Roode is subbing for Storm who is injured. Roode is in street clothes. He sends SuperMex to the floor and dives on him, only to get caught in the back with a chair shot. Back into the ring now and Hernandez is in total control and choking with his belt. Hernandez runs him over and smacks him in the head with a trashcan lid. It gets two because Roode is in the ropes. In a hardcore match. I’ll never get that rule.

Roode makes a comeback, including the Blockbuster and a bunch of cane shots. Border Toss is reversed into the armbar by Roode. SuperMex taps but the referee doesn’t see it. Everything breaks down and Hernandez gets a rollup with his feet on the ropes for the pin at 7:23.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid fight here as they beat each other up both ways. I wasn’t into the ending as it was really sloppy and the third time tonight that we’ve had that ending (distraction into a rollup). The tag title match is something I’m looking forward to Sunday though so that’s a good sign. At least this got some time.

Ray goes to apologize to Anderson and when he finally accepts it, Ray hits him in the balls.

Austin Aries vs. Alex Shelley

Aries jumps him in the corner but Shelly takes over quickly, hitting an enziguri for two. Aries tries one of his own which doesn’t work and La Magistral gets two. There are going to be new X-Division guys brought in next week. Shelley gets some kind of inverted reverse figure four but it doesn’t last long. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before. Aries sends him to the floor and hits a big dive which gets two in the ring.

Superplex is broken up and a flying superkick puts Aries on the floor. A suicide dive hits and we go back inside. Double stomp misses for Shelley and Aries tries Sliced Bread which fails as well. Aries sends him to the floor again (we get it already) and puts on Shelley’s vest/jacket. The referee protests and gets dropped by accident. Shelley gets sent into the post crotch first. Brainbuster ends this at 6:00.

Rating: C+. Eh not bad here but the going to the floor thing got a bit repetitive. Also, GIVE SOME PEOPLE MORE THAN SIX MINUTES. That’s become such a problem on Impact: nothing gets any significant time anymore. Is it that much to ask to give a match ten minutes? Oh wait we needed to reemphasize that Ray and Anderson don’t like each other two more times. See why the WRESTLING MATTERS stuff is hard to buy?

Post match Aries beats on him a bit until Kendrick makes the save.

Eric Young is getting acting lessons. It’s more “comedy”.

Now we get something different. Angle is in the production truck and is going to give commentary on the empty arena match from February of 2009 with him and Sting. I’m not sure if this is clipped or not but it’s eating up a lot of time and is just like a DVD commentary. Well that was rather pointless.

Sting is here now.

Bound For Glory Series: Scott Steiner/Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam/Crimson

Only the person that gets the fall gets points. Crimson is in white shorts now. We’re told that the points leader in the Series after No Surrender goes to BFG, not necessarily the winner. Rob and Scott start with the power game working well for Scott. Off to Gunner who hammers down RVD as well. Gunner vs. Crimson now with Crimson in control. Steiner comes in to suplex Red Boy a bit and drop the elbow for some pushups.

Belly to back gets two for Gunner but he jumps into the Red Alert (old finisher) to put him down. Double tag brings in Scott and Rob again with RVD taking over. Everything breaks down after Rolling Thunder hits Steiner. Crimson hits a big old spear to take Gunner down and Rob hits the Five Star. Steiner takes Rob down with a Downward Spiral for two. Steiner takes Rob to the corner for something but Crimson breaks it up and Rob hits the Five Star again for the pin on Steiner at 7:12.

Rating: B-. Pretty solid little tag match here with both teams moving out there. Rob winning works as it sets up the match on Sunday as #1 vs. #2 which makes sense for it. Two Five Stars was a nice touch too and the whole match was pretty good. Again though, GO LONGER THAN 8 FREAKING MINUTES!

RVD and Crimson both say they’ll win at the PPV.

Time for the contract signing. They’re kind of pushing it as the match is only in three days. Angle signs pretty quickly. Sting does as well and there are no issues it seems. Well that’s anti-climactic. Angle says Sting is an icon and it’ll be a great match Sunday. It’s going to end in a handshake.

Sting says he doesn’t feel like laughing. He feels like he’s accomplished something in his 25 years now but he’s just as big a fan as Angle. Sting praises Angle for being able to do anything in the ring.  Sting says he has to be champion to right the wrong that Bischoff and Hogan have done and get the company back to Dixie Carter.  That’s real and it will be on Sunday, end of show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well they built up the PPV well, but the first hour DRAGGED. It felt like the show should have been over at about 10:05. The second hour picked up a bit with some fun matches, but overall this didn’t work for the most part. There are some parts of the PPV I want to see but there are others that I really could not care less about. The second hour saves this one though as it wasn’t bad.

Results

Miss Tessmacher b. Madison Rayne – Small Package

Devon b. AJ Styles – Rollup

D’Angelo Dinero b. Samoa Joe via DQ when Samoa Joe wouldn’t let go of the Koquina Clutch

Hernandez b. Bobby Roode – Rollup

Austin Aries b. Alex Shelley – Brainbuster

Crimson/Rob Van Dam b. Gunner/Scott Steiner