Impact Wrestling
Date: February 21, 2013
Location: Wembly Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

It’s the last of the England shows and the main story tonight is that we get to know the winner of the tournament last week. The winner gets to face Hardy at Lockdown in three weeks so it’s about time they announced something. Other than that we’ve got two title matches which makes for a pretty packed show. Let’s get to it.

We open with the usual intro from last week, recapping both the tournament and Hogan being saved by Ray and Sting.

Hulk Hogan opens us up and talks about how Aces and 8’s interfered before he could announce the #1 contender last week. That interruption gave him an extra week to think about who should get the shot. This person showed that he was the only person who really wanted it. That person is…..Bully Ray. As in someone not even in the competition at all.

Here’s Ray but he isn’t sure what to think. He has a partially torn quad (whether that’s legitimate or not, the similarities to HHH/Stephanie/Vince continue) but Hogan cuts him off. Hogan says Ray is tough and Ray says it was the greatest day of his life when he married into this family. Bully wants a six man tag tonight with Aces and 8’s facing himself, Sting, and Hulk. Ray calls him dad and the match is made.

Bad Influences come in to visit Roode and Aries. They wish them luck in an eight man tag tonight.

Bad Influence/Bobby Roode/Austin Aries vs. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez/James Storm/Joseph Park

Storm vs. Daniels to start and the Cowboy quickly clotheslines him to the floor. Kaz throws Storm to the floor and everything breaks down quickly. It’s a big brawl and the good guys clear the ring. Park looks so proud but Chavo tells him to watch the elbows as we take a break. Back with Chavo working over Kaz with a front facelock before it’s back to Joseph Park. We’re told that the title match at Lockdown will be in a cage. As in just like every match at Lockdown ever?

Park gets caught in the wrong corner and the tag champions start beating him up. Or is it down? Either way they can’t suplex him which leads to a brief argument. Back to Daniels who rams Park’s head into the buckles and pounds away at the temple a few times. Everyone wants the tag but the heels get in an argument, nearly allowing Park to make the tag. Park comes back with a double clothesline to put Bad Influence down.

Roode and Aries walk out on their partners and it’s hot tag to Storm. He cleans house on everyone in sight and it’s off to Hernandez. SuperMex hits a few shoulders to knock everyone around and Chavo adds a frog splash to Daniels. The Last Call puts Daniels down and here’s Park with an a middle rope splash for the pin by Chavo on Kaz at 12:20.

Rating: C+. This was a fun tag match and I liked the way the egos got in the way of the heels’ success. That’s the logical way those characters would interact and it’s nice to see them not get along just because they’re all villains. It’s also good to see Storm back in the company he belongs in rather than slumming it with Godderz. Just please, no more Chavo and Hernandez in featured matches. I can’t handle it.

We recap Bully getting the title shot from earlier tonight.

We look at Rockstar Spud winning British Bootcamp and having a confrontation with Robbie E a few weeks back.

Robbie E. vs. Rockstar Spud

Spud almost immediately runs into a boot from Robbie to put himself down. Robbie hits a top rope elbow for no cover but misses a charge into the corner. A spinning DDT puts Robbie down and Spud goes up top. Spud misses a guillotine legdrop but the Rob’s get in an argument, allowing Spud to roll up Robbie for the pin at 2:46.

Post match Robbie E. yells at Big Rob and slaps him in the face. Big Rob stares him down and Robbie runs.

Jesse gives Tara a pep talk. The Knockouts Title match is next.

Knockouts Title: Velvet Sky vs. Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher vs. Tara

Tara is defending and this is under elimination rules. Brooke Hogan gets to be ringside because what would a segment be without her? The bell will be after this break. Jesse is ejected by Brooke and we’re ready to go. We get a bunch of quick rollup attempts but no pins early on. Tessmacher tries a victory roll on Tara but gets caught in an electric chair to send her out to the floor. Things settle down a bit and Tara hits the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker on Sky, only to have the pin broken up by Gail. Why would she do that?

Now Tara and Gail go at it but Gail is sent to the floor for a bulldog from Tessmacher. Velvet and Tessmacher ping pong the champion back and forth with punches but Tara fights back. A moonsault hits Tessmacher but Velvet grabs Tara and hits In Yo Face, only to be broken up by Gail. Kim steals the pin on Tara to eliminate her, guaranteeing us a new champion.

Tessmacher hits a kind of spinning neckbreaker on Gail but goes up and gets crotched. Gail loads up a superplex put Velvet adds a powerbomb to make it a Tower of Doom. Velvet covers both opponents for two so she tries In Yo Face on Gail. Tessmacher tries to roll up Sky but Velvet rolls through it and covers Tessmacher for the elimination. We’re down to Velvet vs. Gail.

Sky pounds away to start but misses a dropkick to stop her momentum cold. Kim tries a cover but gets caught grabbing the ropes like a good villain should. Some shoulders in the corner miss and Velvet grabs a pretty sloppy sunset flip for two. In Yo Face hits this time and Velvet wins the title at 8:35.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad but at the end of the day, what difference does this really make? Velvet is another person that happens to hold the title now. She’ll probably hold it for about three months before dropping it back to Tara or Gail and the cycle starts all over again. That’s the problem with the women’s divisions in both companies: they’ve been going around in circles for years.

Hogan and Sting get ready in the back. Sting leaves and runs into Bully who wants to make sure Hogan is cool. Ray thinks it’s cool to be tagging with the two of them.

We’ll get an update on AJ Styles next week.

We recap Samoa Joe, Kurt Angle, Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff. Angle vouched for Garrett and Wes but they joined Aces and 8’s to stab him in the back.

Samoa Joe vs. Garrett Bischoff

Garrett bails to the floor to start but gets in some shots to the knee once he’s back inside. Bischoff chokes away and stomps away a bit more as that’s about the extent of his offense so far. A shoulder tackle takes Joe down and it’s off to a chinlock. Joe comes back with an atomic drop and big boot, followed by a senton backsplash. The Facewash has Garrett in trouble in the corner and Joe loads up the MuscleBuster, only to have Brisco run in for the DQ at 5:06.

Rating: D. As I’ve said dozens of times, Garrett Bischoff is not that talented. Even in Aces and 8’s he comes off like a guy who is in a t-shirt pretending to be intimidating and powerful. Instead he’s actually a guy who has a very limited moveset and hasn’t won a match of note in about a year. Nothing to see here.

Kurt Angle makes the save and says it’s him vs. Brisco in a cage at Lockdown.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam

Van Dam is defending and gets dropkicked off the apron during his entrance. King rams him spine first into the post and slams Van Dam down to take over. A springboard legdrop misses the champ though but he kicks Van Dam right back down for two. King hits a spinwheel kick for the same result and a chinlock keeps Van Dam down for a bit.

Back to the chinlock but Rob fights up and hits some kicks to take over again. King counters a monkey flip by landing on his feet but can’t quite hit the Royal Flush, allowing RVD to kick out at two. King misses a pair of knees in the corner and takes Rolling Thunder as a result. The Five Star retains the title at 6:21.

Rating: C-. Of all the successful Van Dam defenses against King, this is the most recent. There was a mention of King beating Ion on Xplosion (sidebar: PUT XPLOSION ONLINE AND PROMOTE IT!!! TNA’s biggest problem is not enough programming and they never talk about the other hour they have. That’s an extra 50% of air time they could have and they NEVER mention it on air! Promote that instead of Dixie’s freaking Twitter!) but other than that there’s no reason for this match to happen. Either end the division or give it some attention.

Hulk tells Brooke that he has to do this.

Jeff Hardy will be back next week.

Hulk Hogan/Sting/Bully Ray vs. Aces and 8’s

It’s D-Von, Anderson and Doc here. Everyone comes out for the match but there’s no Hulk. We keep waiting for it and there’s still no Hogan. The music plays again but Aces and 8’s jump Sting and Ray to start things off. Sting and Ray fight back and Doc gets caught with a Stinger Splash as we take a break.

Back with Doc coming in to continue a beating on Bully. Off to D-Von for a falling headbutt and an unseen tag off to Anderson. After some basic pounding here’s D-Von again for a chinlock. Ray suplexes out of it though but Anderson breaks up the tag to Sting. Off to Doc again and he has to immediately stop a Ray comeback with more right hands.

Ray spears D-Von down and there’s the real tag to Sting. The Scorpion Death Drop gets two on Doc but Anderson makes the save. Anderson gets loaded up in What’s Up as the other bikers come out with both Hogans being held hostage. Hulk yells that his knee is hurt as it’s 3-1 against Sting. Doc hits a big boot and Aces and 8’s actually win a match at 11:26.

Rating: D+. Is this supposed to mean something for the bikers? They’ve lost so many times and now they can win a 3-1 handicap match that they had to cheat to win as well? The match was nothing of note and was rather boring for the most part, which isn’t a good sign heading into the second biggest show of the year.

Sting gets beaten down to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This one didn’t do much for me. The matches were ok and the stories were advanced somewhat, but overall the show felt like it was tired. That’s perfectly understandable though as this was their fourth taping in a handful of days and it’s clear that they’re starting to drag. Next week they’ll have a fresh show and things should be back to normal though.

That being said, the Aces and 8’s stuff is getting tiresome. It’s clearly coming to a head at Lockdown, but hopefully it ends there or they REALLY revamp it. I’m bored by these constant losses or barely meaningful wins and I think most people are too. Not a bad show tonight but it was hardly lighting anything on fire.

Results

Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez/James Storm/Joseph Park b. Bad Influence/Bobby Roode/Austin Aries – Chavo pinned Kazarian after a splash from Park

Rockstar Spud b. Robbie E. – Rollup

Velvet Sky b. Tara, Gail Kim and Miss Tessmacher – In Yo Face to Gail

Samoa Joe b. Garrett Bischoff via DQ when Wes Brisco interfered

Rob Van Dam b. Kenny King – Five Star Frog Splash

Aces and 8’s b. Sting/Hulk Hogan/Bully Ray – Big boot to Sting

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact
Date: February 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Boy Is Back In Town

It’s the first show after Against All Odds and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Jeff Hardy who still isn’t clear of jail time after his drug charges. Other than him though it was a very bad night for Immortal as only Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett won on Sunday. It should be interesting to see where we go from here. Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from after Against All Odds with Jarrett saying Kurt will deliver his princess to him on March 3^rd. Jeff Hardy says he made ladder matches famous and still is at 33 years old. RVD vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title tonight. I’m not saying a word.

Here’s Immortal to open the show. Eric brings out Jeff Hardy for the celebration. He talks about how Immortal is still dominant despite Fourtune leaving. As he’s talking we see Flair arriving. Matt Hardy vs. Styles tonight. Eric talks about how Jeff Hardy was supposed to get some time off but he got a call from the network who wants ratings. Therefore tonight Jeff Hardy has to defend the title against RVD tonight. Bischoff is going to try to avoid it but right now that’s the plan.

Eric now shifts over to Flair who he’s not sure about. It gives Eric a weird feeling that he doesn’t like so Flair has until next week. Cue Flair’s music and here he is. He says that only one person gave him an ultimatum. That person was his 3^rd ex wife. Everyone in this ring grew up on Ric Flair and he even got together with Hogan after 25 years.

Did you forget he’s a wrestling god? When he was in Europe people didn’t call him Ric. They just called him God. Cue a God chant of course. Flair says that he’ll see them later and we really get no resolution here. Flair definitely came off like a face here.

The Jarretts are getting massages and talk about the wedding vows on March 3^rd. They talk about tuxedos and imply sex later. That’s the only way to put it really.

We’re back and Matt Hardy and AJ Styles are in a fight in the back. Immortal runs in as does Fourtune and it’s a big brawl.

We get some clips of Kurt from Sunday looking very sad after losing. Now we talk about the ladder match. Hey, did you know both Jeffs won on Sunday? I didn’t know if the three clip packages and talking about it in 20 minutes made that clear enough.

Sarita/Rosita run into Hernandez in the back and he walks to the ring with them after some Spanish chatting.

Douglas Williams vs. Hernandez

Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and beats the living heck out of him while the girls cheer him on. Hernandez throws him in the ring and chokes him with what looks like a shirt. Velvet runs down and beats up Sarita a bit but Rosita takes care of her. Angelina comes out to even things up and they brawl. Wasn’t there a match going on? Back in the ring an absolutely SICK Border Toss ends this. Williams landed right on the back of his head and if he didn’t seriously hurt his neck I’ll be surprised. Match ran 2:00 even and a large amount of that was the fight between the girls.

Eric is on the phone with someone from the network and is trying to get Jeff Hardy out of the title defense tonight. This goes over about as well as Eugene in a feature match at Summerslam did and we take a break.

Back with Pope in the ring with a stuffed pig on a table. It looks like a party of some kind. He says that he’s a hot Pope and the pig is a sloppy Joe. Pope wants to talk about Jesus and just like he fed thousands with fish and bread, he’s going to feed everyone here with that pig. Ronald Regan and Michael Jackson believe in him apparently, as does Jesus who texted him and believes in Pope too. That last bit was funny.

Pope wants to know who is first but it’ll cost $10 a pop. Cue Joe’s music and he’s mad. Okato is behind Pope and when pope tries to run Okato kicks him in the chest. Joe drills Pope in the corner and it’s a Muscle Buster through the pig. Pope gets the apple shoved in his mouth.

Back and Robbie E and Cookie say they’re going to win the title again. In the back Kazarian is kissing Traci Brooks (real life wife) and it’s time for a match.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Robbie E

Not sure if this is a title match or not. Before the match Kaz runs down Cookie and says she’s ugly with the makeup. She gets ticked off and leaves. Yes this is a title match apparently. Robbie is all aggressive to start and Kaz is in trouble. Beautiful People vs. Sarita/Rosita tonight. Kaz gets a springboard elbow and a leg lariat to take over. And then Cookie comes out with a big purse to hit Kaz in the head with for the DQ at 1:57. No rating of course but Robbie showed some nice aggression here. Traci bounces down and it’s a mini cat fight.

Flair goes in to talk to Fourtune and seems to be accepted by them. He has presents for them and of course they get Iced. AJ can wait until after his big match though. They chant chug and down the drinks. Storm drinks AJ’s just because he can.

AJ vs. Matt Hardy next.

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

See? I told you it was next. AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt. He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt. Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them. Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two. Matt grabs a Cravate and here’s Flair to play cheerleader.

AJ gets up and seems to rub Matt’s face to take him to the mat. Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ. Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up. And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get. Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.

Rating: C. Match was just long enough to grade but was nothing special at all. As soon as Flair was there the swerve was completely obvious. Somehow this is by far the best match of the night and it barely ran 200 seconds. That might be good though as Matt isn’t someone that can go long distance for the most part.

Flair and Matt beat down AJ until Fourtune runs them off.

Anderson is ticked and wants Bischoff.

The Jarretts are in a hot tub. Can’t complain much with Karen in there.

Anderson wants Bischoff and here comes the silver fox. He’s ticked that RVD is getting the title shot tonight. Despite losing clean on Sunday, Anderson thinks he’s been robbed. The network decided that RVD got the shot tonight. Anderson wants to know since when did the network have anything to do with anything around here. Put him in the ring and that’s ratings. Bischoff says that Anderson needs to PG himself down a bit.

Anderson says he’ll take the word out of his vocabulary and Bischoff talks more. Eric will put him in the main event as the guest referee. Jeff won clean on Sunday and Eric says that Anderson can get a shot if he plays it fair tonight. Mic Check leaves Bischoff laying. Anderson is supposed to be TNA’s Austin and it’s just not there. Points for trying though I guess.

Velvet is talking to Winter and Velvet wants Winter to stay out of ringside tonight. Velvet turns her back and Winter picks up some scissors until Angelina comes in. Winter says Velvet could never feel for Angelina like Winter does. Velvet leaves and Winter says all will be revealed.

AJ is ticked about Flair and says this is about AJ vs. Flair.

Angelina Love/Velvet Sky vs. Rosita/Sarita

The brawl starts in the aisle as you would expect. Velvet vs. Sarita starts us off officially. Off to Rosita as the fans are rather quiet. Tandem elbow drop from the Beautiful People gets no cover as Sarita breaks it up. World’s Strongest Slam from Angelina to Rosita and it’s off to Sarita again. Backbreaker gets two for Angelina and Velvet comes in again.

The cousins are tagging in a lot. Rosita doesn’t seem to want to stay in and keeps bringing Sarita in, which ticks her off. Everything breaks down with Angelina and Rosita on the floor. Velvet tries a DDT but Rosita trips her up and holds the feet down for the pin at 3:52. Can we please break 4 minutes? Please?

Rating: D. Weak match here with a predictable ending. There was no way the Beautiful People were going to be able to win here and everyone knew it. This went nowhere for the most part and was just to continue the losing streak by Velvet. Somehow this is the longest match of the night. That’s a little absurd.

Velvet says she wants to end this with Sarita. Sarita says Velvet is a loser then remembers she’s supposed to have an accent. Sarita wants Velvet’s career on the line and Velvet says bring it on.

The Jarretts are going to dinner. More sex is implied.

Kurt is mad and is going to their dinner party.

Madison is talking to Tara and says she’s knocked out the entire locker room so she’s bored. There’s an open challenge next week.

Next week there’s a pose down between Terry and Steiner.

We recap RVD’s world title win and him having to vacate the title due to the attack by Abyss. Also we see about Hardy betraying him and being responsible for the attack on RVD. Hardy says he’s going to hurt Van Dam.

The Jarretts are complaining about the food and toast Kurt having to be humiliated on March 3^rd. Karen complains about the wine and Jarrett goes off on the chef. And here’s Kurt who just somehow got in the restaurant. He wants to know where the tip is. This was uh….odd.

RVD says tonight he gets his shot and preparation meets opportunity. The title is just a bonus.

Since we need to make sure no match gets anything resembling a decent amount of time tonight we talk about the Dudley street fight at the PPV but Spike won’t let them show the footage. D-Von won’t give comments but Ray comes out to the table. Ray goes all bully on them and Tazz has something to say about it. Ray says that if he wants to smack Tenay (this old man) then he will. Tazz says no you won’t because you crossed the line Sunday. Isn’t that the point of the company. Ray slaps Tenay’s headset off and leaves.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

Anderson is the guest referee. He does his usual intro but calls Green Bay Title Tow USA to mess the fans up a bit. Taz says that Jeff’s entrance is inspired by Lady Gaga. Oh dear he’s coming out of an egg. I give up. RVD, the guy that is so angry, starts with a collar and elbow tie up. He gets the one footed dropkick to Hardy who is crotched on the top. Flair vs. AJ is announced for next week.

All RVD to start. To the floor and RVD drapes him over the barricade so he can hit the spinning leg kick to the back as we take a break. Back with Van Dam hitting something on Hardy that we couldn’t see since when we came back the camera was on the monitor above the ring and then cut away. Either way it gets two for the challenger. Split Legged Moonsault out of the corner eats knees though.

Hardy gets a low dropkick to send RVD’s ribs into the post. Sitout Gordbuster gets two for Jeff. Whisper in the Wind misses and Van Dam gets a standing moonsault for no cover. Van Dam gets shoved to the floor and Jeff takes over again. Swanton gets two. Five Star gets two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes. Van Dam tries to get a rollup but accidentally runs Jeff into the corner where Anderson is standing. A low blow by Hardy when Anderson can’t see it sets up the Twist of Hate to end it at 12:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine and thankfully it got some time unlike the rest of the matches tonight, but this should have been at Victory Road instead of on Impact. Anderson added very little here but I guess it’s supposed to set up the continuance of their feud and make him look more like Austin. Either way, not bad here but nothing I’ll remember in a few days.

Anderson hits the Mic Check on Hardy post match and Van Dam complains about the low blow. Here’s a Mic Check for Van Dam as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty bad. The main problem here is simple: until the main event which started at 10:47, we had (rounded up to) 11:30 of wrestling. I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable for me in nearly two hours of wrestling. They gave us a decent main event which should have been a PPV main event but instead we got it with about two hours of buildup. If nothing else make THIS the main event March 3^rd but that’s Hogan and the Jarretts’ night I guess.

Overall the show was too light on wrestling and all of the talking they did amounted to nothing. Flair returned and was with Fourtune for about an hour before joining Immortal again. That and the Jarretts were the main focus of the show tonight. All in all it’s a big preview for March 3^rd which seems to be the new norm for TNA: have supershows instead of the PPVs as the main thing. That’s fine, but it makes the TV shows pretty boring on the way there. Bad show this week after TNA had been on a hot streak lately.

Results

Hernandez b. Douglas Williams – Border Toss

Kazarian b. Robbie E via DQ when Cookie hit Kazarian with a purse

Matt Hardy b. AJ Styles – Twist of Hate

Rosita/Sarita b. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky – Rosita pinned Velvet when Sarita held Rosita’s legs

Jeff Hardy b. Rob Van Dam – Twist of Hate

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews\

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 14, 2013
Location: Wembly Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re in London for the next two weeks and we’re getting really close to Lockdown, which apparently won’t be all cage matches. We do however need a main event so odds are things are going to be announced tonight. The crowds have been hot lately so hopefully they’ll be able to keep that streak going tonight. Let’s get to it.

After the LONG recap, here’s Hogan to open the show. He announces a tournament of four matches tonight for the title shot against Hardy. The matches are Storm vs. RVD, Joe vs. Angle, Magnus vs. Daniels and Aries vs. Roode. Instead of brackets though, it’s whoever the fans like best getting the shot. This brings him to Aces and 8’s, who apparently want a war. Gee they’ve been terrorizing the place for 7 months so now you’ve finally figured that out Hulk? Anyway Sting is apparently the captain and he says that he’ll be looking for teammates tonight.

Christopher Daniels vs. Magnus

The obvious crowd favorite takes over with a fast shoulder block but Daniels rams him into the corner to slow him down. A suplex keeps the pressure on Daniels but Kaz interferes, allowing Daniels to hit an STO to take Magnus down. Off to a neck crank by Daniels and the release Rock Bottom puts Magnus down. The BME attempt misses though and a big boot puts Daniels down. Kaz interferes and gets ejected, firing up the crowd. Back in and a clothesline puts Chris down and a falcon’s arrow does the same. A top rope elbow is enough to end Daniels at 5:06.

Rating: C. Magnus continues to impress while he’s actually out there, but unfortunately since we’re out of England after next week, the odds are that he leaves the main show too. Daniels and Kaz didn’t get to do anything funny tonight which is their main strength at the moment. Decent match here but not bad.

Brooke tries to make Bully feel better about being hurt and not being in the title shot. They plan a date.

Magnus makes a plea to Hogan to get the title match.

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle

Feeling out process to start but Joe pounds him into the corner. A snapmare sets up the chop to the back and a running knee drop for two. Angle comes back with a fast belly to belly overhead as we hear about the history between these two. Angle hits a back elbow to put both guys down again as we take a break. Back with Joe hitting the running elbow through the ropes to take over again. Back in and the backsplash gets two for the fat man, but Kurt rolls the Germans to take over.

Angle charges into the release Rock Bottom out of the corner but as Joe puts Kurt on the top rope, Angle hits a missile dropkick for two. Joe pops right back up though and puts on the Clutch, only to have Angle reverse into the ankle lock. That gets reversed too and a double clothesline puts both guys down. Not that it matters though as Aces and 8’s come in for the no contest at 11:33.

Rating: C+. These two have good matches with each other in their sleep (or drug induced haze in Angle’s case) so the match was going to be good here no matter what. The ending sucks but I’m guessing these four (Bischoff and Brisco interfered) are having a tag match at Lockdown. Other than that, nothing to see here.

Angle and Joe clear the ring post match.

Dixie talks to the British Boot Camp losers.

Blossom Twins/Party Marty vs. Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz

The guys start things off and Jesse takes over early. Marty kind of misses a moonsault out of the corner and we take a break. Back from the break and it’s off to one of the Blossoms vs. Tara. A dropkick gets two for the rookie (apparently Hannah rather than Holly) but it’s a double sideslam for two on the champ. Gail comes in to pull on let’s say Holly’s hair and the heels take over. Tara throws around I think Holly as get into a really long and dull beatdown segment on the Blossom.

Tara beats on her, Gail beats on her, Tara comes back in and the moonsault hits knees, allowing for the hot tag to Hannah. The Blossoms beat up the other girls and hit a nice double team splash onto Tara. Jesse comes in to be a bully but gets dropkicked out to the floor. Marty BADLY misses a dive to the floor, but I think it was more on Jesse than Marty. Hannah walks into Eat Defeat from Gail for the pin at approximately 11:00.

Rating: D. I’m not a fan of women’s wrestling and this was pretty lame even by Knockout standards. It went on WAY too long and we here in America have almost no idea who these rookies are. Why in the world would I care about a guy named Party Marty? The match was watchable due to the Blossoms’ looks, but other than that there wasn’t much going on.

Gail wants the title so here’s Brooke to make Velvet vs. Tara vs. Gail vs. Tessmacher next week for the title.

We recap Dixie saying the show is going on the word permanently.

We recap Jeff’s knee injury. He’ll be back in two weeks.

James Storm vs. Rob Van Dam

James starts with a fast kick to the head but RVD kicks him right back down and hits the Rolling Thunder for two. The split legged moonsault gets the same but Storm hits a fast DDT to take RVD down. A punch to Rob’s face does little damage but an Alabama Slam out of the corner gets two for James. Closing Time hits but Van Dam blocks the Last Call with that stepover kick to the jaw. The Five Star is broken up but Van Dam kicks Storm into the other corner. There’s the freaking Van Terminator but it only hits ropes, allowing Storm to knock him out cold with the Last Call for the pin at 5:38.

Rating: C+. Good back and forth match here that was needing more time. Thankfully Storm seems to be at least getting a chance in the title scene again. If nothing else it’s better than fighting Godderz over and over again. Van Dam losing here is fine as it’s not like the division exists anymore.

Joseph Park learns a lesson in politicking. Hogan says it’s a rib, which Park has to find out the definition of.

Brooke badgers Hulk to give Bully the title shot.

We recap Austin Aries and Robert Roode’s history together.

Robert Roode vs. Austin Aries

Before the match Roode says Hogan’s attempts at wedging the tag champions apart won’t work. They say ring the bell and an argument breaks out over who should lay down for the other. Aries tries to steal a pin and we take a break. Back with the champions slugging it out before Roode misses a charge into the corner. Aries comes back with a sunset flip for two and argues with the referee about the count.

We get another slugout with Aries hitting the discus forearm, only to walk into the spinebuster for two. Aries is placed on the top rope but fights out of a superplex attempt. They slug it out on top with Austin knocking him down to the mat, only to miss the 450. Roode’s spear is countered into the Last Chancery but Roode rakes the eyes to escape. There’s the Crossface from Bobby but Aries fight out as well.

The referee is bumped (duh) and Bobby grabs a chair. We get the Eddie Guerrero spot with Roode pretending to have been hit with the chair, but Aries tries the same thing. That’s brilliant! Chavo and Hernandez come out for a distraction and as the champions go after them, we get a double countout at approximately 10:00.

Rating: B-. I was really digging this and the mirroring Guerrero spots were brilliant. These two work incredibly well together but for the love of goodness I do not want to see them fight Chavo and Hernandez again. The ending was annoying but they had to do that in order to avoid a “who’s the best” angle.

Sting tells Hogan to choose wisely.

Here’s Hogan to choose the winner, but Aces and 8’s surround the ring. Cue a limping Bully Ray with a chain, and of course Aces and 8’s won’t fight an old man and a limping fat guy. Sting comes out with three ball bats for the real save. No announcement is made.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t their best show. I can’t imagine any of these guys getting the shot as no one really stood out, so odds are it’s going to be Ray so he can screw over TNA. The matches were decent here tonight which is all you can ask for out of a free TV show. Too much Hogan tonight though, which is a major problem this show has anymore.

Results

Magnus b. Christopher Daniels – Top Rope Elbow

Samoa Joe vs. Kurt Angle went to a no contest when Aces and 8’s interfered

Gail Kim/Tara/Jesse Godderz b. Blossom Twins/Party Marty

James Storm b. Rob Van Dam – Last Call

Austin Aries vs. Bobby Roode went to a double countout

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 9, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Against All Odds and the final show in England. These shows are always fun because you get a much better crowd before we head back to Orlando on Sunday and the crowd that could put a Nick Bockwinkle promo to sleep. We’ll probably get a few more matches to flesh out the card tonight and remember there’s no Hardy due to travel issues. Let’s get to it.

Oh and it’s the Star Wars episode. This could mean ANYTHING.

We open with the Star Wars theme and shots of Qui-Gon Jin and Obi-Wan preparing to face droids. This is put together with hogan returning last week. We also talk about the four way a bit.

Here’s Ray to open the show who says he wants to talk to Bobby Roode and only Bobby Roode right now. Ray isn’t happy. Here’s Roode and Ray says cut his music. He meets Roode in the aisle and wants to know why Roode hasn’t had his back at all. Ray says he had Roode’s back against Storm but where was Roode for him? He says that Roode has the title because Ray has kept it on him.

Roode says he’s had Ray’s back and Ray says that’s true, but last time he put a knife in it. Bobby says their problems are both with Sting and here comes the scorpion enthusiast. Sting declares himself the special enforcer at the PPV and also, tonight it’s going to be the two of them against Storm and himself.

Hogan and Garrett arrive.

We recap the AJ/Daniels/Kaz story with Kaz being forced to turn on AJ due to some form of control that Daniels has over him.

Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles

These two must be approaching Sheik vs. Bobo Brazil lengths of a feud. Daniels jumps him quickly but AJ knocks him to the floor and hits a great flipping dive. Coming back in AJ dives over the top and almost gets the Styles Clash but Daniels kicks him away. Daniels tries to pull out a foreign object but the referee sees him trying it. Daniels throws it to Kaz which the referee misses. AJ gets knocked to the floor as Daniels takes over. Back in a clothesline gets two.

Daniels hooks what appears to be a nerve hold and the fans are split. AJ gets in an enziguri to put Daniels down. Christopher goes over to Kaz for the foreign object but Kaz doesn’t throw it in. Styles hits his moonsault into a reverse DDT and the springboard forearm. The Clash is countered again into a release Rock Bottom. BME misses but Daniels lands on his feet. Pele puts Daniels down but this time Kaz gives him the object. AJ tries to load up the Clash but as he pulls Daniels up, Daniels pops him with the knucks for the pin at 5:46.

Rating: B-. I really liked this match, probably a lot more than most AJ vs. Daniels matches. This feud has been done to death so if they have to do it again, I’m glad they’re adding in a new factor to it. The object was a fine little plot point to the match and it worked very well for this. Good match and far more entertaining than what they usually do in my eyes.

Gunner tells Bischoff he’ll protect him later.

Here are Joe and Magnus. Magnus talks about being back in the UK and how he has nothing against most parts of it. Tonight however, they’re not in Her Majesty’s UK. They’re in England. Tonight he’s come home and he’s brought his partner with him. A few months ago there was a Wild Card Tag Team Tournament and everyone said this wouldn’t work. However, they’ve proven everyone wrong. As for Morgan and Crimson, the only reason they’re a team is so they don’t have to face each other. At Against All Odds, they’ll win the titles.

Here are the champions and they say the time for talking is done. The champs clear the ring very quickly, running over Magnus and Joe as they have every time that it’s been on a level playing field. Joe pulls Magnus out before the double chokeslam takes him out.

Austin Aries vs. Doug Williams vs. Alex Shelley

This is non-title. Aries is sent to the floor so Williams and Shelley do their own thing for a few moments. Sliced Bread is countered and Williams goes after Shelley’s knee. Aries slides back as Shelley hits the floor. Doug dives on Shelley and Aries dives on Doug to put everyone down. Aries tries a superplex on Williams but Shelley comes back in and tries a Doomsday Device, but Aries escapes. Pendulum Elbow takes WAY too long to launch and Shelley moves. Chaos Theory to Shelley hits but Aries kicks Williams low to break it up. Shelley countered the brainbuster and hits Sliced Bread for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Fun match and it was a good way to have Shelley get momentum going into Sunday and his title shot. Williams is a guy you can bring in for something like this and it works well. They flew around the ring a bit and got the crowd going, which is what the cruiserweight style guys are supposed to do.

Hogan is talking to Garrett in the back when Sting comes in. Sting and Hogan are all cool and Hogan asks Garrett to step out for a minute. Hogan says Sting has a target on him and everyone is coming for him. If Sting needs Hulk’s help, he’ll have it. Sting says he likes the sound of that and Hogan says something is going to go down. The cameraman is thrown out before that gets explained.

Video of the fans talking about how much the love Impact.

Here’s a video from earlier today with Tara at the arena. She’s filming stuff when Gail comes in and beats her up. They go into the arena so as not to draw cops I suppose with Gail destroying her. She leaves Tara laying.

Quick video from Hogan talking about how TNA is this close to being the best in the world.

Here are Hulk and Garrett with Hulk talking about how these are the best fans in the world. Hogan talks about everything the fans have given to him over the years and how now he wants the fans to give all of that to Garrett now. And the fans just do not care one bit. There’s a canned pop and it still sounds weak. Hogan blames Eric for a lot of Garrett’s problems and here’s the papa now.

Eric and Gunner come out and Eric wants to know who Hogan thinks he is to get in Eric’s family business. Hogan says it’s not Eric’s time anymore. Eric says it’s not Hogan’s time anymore and that Hogan has no right to be here. Hogan says Eric doesn’t get it and that he has the Hulkamania Stroke around here. He talked to Sting and Hogan has booked Garrett vs. Gunner at the PPV. There’s more to it but Gunner and Garrett get into a fight. Eric hits Hogan low and down goes Garrett. Hogan gets up and clears the ring, still making Garrett look like a guy that is in way over his head and has to be saved. Garrett hits his dad and that’s about it.

Ray is mad at Roode and yells some more about Roode not having his back. Roode says they’ll be ok and wants a hug. Ray hugs him and says three days.

Hey it’s Hogan and Garrett again. Hulk says that they’ll put an end to Eric’s time in this business so Garrett can have a future. How exactly is Eric stopping that?

Mickie James vs. Velvet Sky

The announcers talk about Star Wars and Princess Leia in particular. The girls are a bit sloppy with Velvet barely holding onto a side roll. Mickie sends her into the corner and the fans are booing this somewhat. Headscissors puts Mickie down but she pops up and hits a low dropkick for two. Mickie hooks a seated abdominal stretch and the fans still don’t care. Velvet comes back and drives Mickie into both knees one at a time. Taz talks about pigeons and both girls reverse each others’ finishers. Velvet rolls Mickie up for the pin with a small package at 5:18.

Rating: D. This was a terrible match as both of them were missing things very rapidly. Also was there any point to this match being on the show? I can’t think of one other than to get hot women in the ring. That’s certainly good enough of a reason but it doesn’t do much for the sake of storylines.

Video on the UK tour so far.

Video on the PPV main event with all four of them talking about the match. There’s a ton of time left too.

Sting/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Sting and Roode start us off and Sting quickly takes him down and puts on the Scorpion in less than two minutes. Ray comes in but Sting avoids the big boot. Off to Storm and the ring is cleared as we take a break. Back with Ray demanding Storm get in and here’s the Cowboy. The announcers talk about how there’s been no sign of Abyss since Genesis, which is a point I had forgotten about.

Storm takes over and winds up for awhile before poking Ray in the eye. Back to Sting as the dominance continues. The heels finally take over and work on the injured ribs of Storm. Roode comes in with a body vice and slams Storm into the mat before Storm can make the tag. Off to a bearhug which Storm breaks up with a poke to the eye. A Russian legsweep takes Ray down and it’s off to Sting vs. Roode.

He beats on Ray as well as house is cleaned. Both guys get splashes but a second to Roode misses. Sting calls on his memories with Flair and slams Roode off for two. Roode’s head goes onto Ray’s balls to send Ray to the outside. Spinebuster gets two on Sting but the fisherman’s suplex is countered. Death Drop puts Roode down and the Deathlock goes on. Ray looks to save but Ray say see you in three days. Roode taps at 15:14.

Rating: C. Yes, the world champion just tapped out clean to the part time wrestler/boss in the middle of the ring three days before a PPV. I’ve got nothing. I’m sure the TNA fanboys will explain to me how this is a brilliant move and foreshadows something or other, but I REALLY do not get who this benefits whatsoever. Was there a reason Storm couldn’t have gotten a pin here? Like ANY reason? I’m needing some help here because I don’t get it at all.

Overall Rating: B-. I really liked tonight’s show and it did a great job of building up Against All Odds. I still really don’t like the overpushing of Bischoff but that’s life in TNA anymore. The main event on Sunday is a pretty wide open field which is something you rarely get in wrestling anymore. Good show here and hopefully that means good things for Against All Odds on Sunday. Also, thank goodness the Star Wars stuff didn’t mean anything.

Results
Christopher Daniels b. AJ Styles – Pin after Daniels hit Styles with brass knuckles
Alex Shelley b. Austin Aries and Doug Williams – Sliced Bread #2 to Aries
Velvet Sky b. Mickie James – Small Package
Sting/James Storm b. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray – Scorpion Deathlock to Roode

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 7, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz, Todd Keneley

We’re still in England for the second of four shows. The main story at the moment is that Garret Bischoff and Wes Brisco FINALLY joined Aces and 8’s, shocking a total of no one. Other than that we’re on the Road to Lockdown which is four weeks from Sunday. That being said, we need a #1 contender. Oh and we’ve got Ray/Sting vs. Aces and 8’s in a tables match tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Hogans/Ray and Aces and 8’s.

Here are the bikers to open the show. Most of them are sans masks now and I can’t say I’m any more impressed. Could it be because they NEVER WIN ANYTHING??? We get a video on Aces and 8’s beating up Angle over the last few weeks. Apparently Wes and Garrett have been on the team for awhile now. Yeah I’m stunned too. Garrett says this is his new family and Brisco complains about being introduced in a Gut Check match. D-Von isn’t worried about the tables match because Aces and 8’s have an ace up their sleeve.

Tara and Jesse annoy Brooke so it’s Tara vs. Tessmacher tonight.

X-Division Title: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Rob Van Dam

Hey look: a triple threat! RVD is defending and gets double teamed to start. Since Zema Ion sucks though, King turns on him and sends both he and Van Dam to the floor. A corkscrew dive by King takes both guys down and one from Ion….mostly misses both guys. Back in and a missile dropkick takes King down but Van Dam comes back in almost immediately. King sends Ion to the floor again but RVD takes him down.

Ion breaks up Rolling Thunder and hits a middle rope tornado DDT for two. King and Ion go at it a bit with Ion hitting a flipping facebuster for two. Ion takes King down again for two more as the champion is on the floor. This is basically a one on one match with Van Dam popping in every now and then. King hits a pair of running knees to the ribs of Ion followed by a northern lights suplex, but RVD comes in with the Five Star to take out King and follows with the pin on Ion at 5:54.

Rating: C. The match was ok but what difference does this make at all? There’s almost no story to it and the division is lucky to get a segment every two weeks. You pretty much saw the entire division out there in one match here, and that’s a really bad sign. Bring some fresh blood into this thing or drop it already, because this is nothing worth seeing at all.

We get a package on TNA British Boot Camp, which is their version of Gut Check. A 5’3 guy named Rockstar Spud wins.

We look at the opening promo from Wes and Garrett earlier. It’s still not impressive.

Bruce Prichard talks to D’Lo about Brisco sneaking on via Gut Check. I’m still thinking this isn’t going to live up to whatever it’s supposed to be.

Jesse comes out to run his mouth bout James Storm interrupts. Blah blah blah, I’m going to kick you in the face then drink, ring the bell.

James Storm vs. Jesse Godderz

Jesse takes over to start but Storm comes back with punches and a knee to the ribs followed by the Eye of the Storm. An enziguri from the corner sets up a running neckbreaker for no cover. Last Call ends this at 3:04.

Rating: D. Seriously, is there NO ONE ELSE that Storm can feud with? The guy is over like free beer in a frat house and he’s stuck beating up Jesse Godderz. I know the match with Roode at BFG wasn’t that big but it’s a bigger deal than what Storm is getting now. Nothing match here as Godderz continues to be decent, but Storm is WAY out of his league.

Tag Titles: Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez vs. Austin Aries/Bobby Roode

The Texans are defending and dear goodness please let the titles change tonight. Chavo and Roode start things off with the champion taking over with some headscissors to start. Aries comes in but runs into Hernandez who scares him away. SuperMex puts Aries on the top rope so Austin cartwheels away. Roode tells a posing Aries to turn around and there’s the delayed vertical, but Roode makes the save.

A double suplex with Chavo helping out puts the challengers down and there’s a slingshot hilo onto Aries. Roode pulls Chavo to the floor but the suicide dive misses, sending Bobby into the barricade. We take a break and come back with Roode breaking up a cover by Hernandez. Chavo chops away on Aries in the corner and it’s back to Hernandez. A running splash gets two for Hernandez and here’s Guerrero ago.

Roode finally cheats a bit and hits Chavo in the back so Aries can hit a discus forearm to take down Chavo and give the heels control. Tazz, now part of a team, goes on a rant about how much being in a tag team sucks before talking about how much he loves Aces and 8’s. Off to Roode again for a chinlock as Tazz talks about sitting on a boil. Ok then. A top rope double ax hits Chavo on the floor and gets two for Austin back inside.

We hit a LONG chinlock by Roode before Aries comes in with some cheating. Chavo fights up and it’s a double clothesline to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Hernandez who cleans house, only to have Roode pull his own partner into the slingshout shoulder from Hernandez. SuperMex destroys Roode but Aries escapes Three Amigos. The heels are rammed together and Roode walks out, only to return as Aries hits Hernandez low. The spinebuster to Chavo sets up the 450 from Aries for the pin and the titles at 17:29.

Rating: B. I don’t like the challengers but this was a very solid tag match. If nothing else these two will actually be interesting instead of just sitting around doing nothing at all. This had a long heel in peril segment which you hardly ever see anymore. Good match here and nice to see a LONG TV match that means something.

Hulk and Ray have a chat about Ray being a good guy. He says he isn’t and he’ll prove it against Aces and 8’s.

Video on AJ’s career falling apart.

Tara vs. Miss Tessmacher

Jesse is barred from ringside and this is non-title. Tara keeps looking back for Jesse and screaming his name. A few headlocks put Tessmacher down but she comes back with the stupid Stink Face. Tara tries to bail but comes back in for the spinning side slam for two. The Widow’s Peak doesn’t work so it’s off to a full nelson instead. Tara hooks a chinlock for a bit before Tessmacher comes back and hits a Tess Shock out of nowhere for the pin at 5:26.

Rating: D+. I don’t like them, this match has been done to death, the girls still look good, and the division is still dying before our very eyes. What is the point of these random matches? To set up Tessmacher vs. Tara for the title again? You know, such a FRESH match as that, which we NEVER see anymore?

Here’s Rockstar Spud to debut before the crowd. He gives a standard “I made it and this is my dream” promo before the Rob’s come out to interrupt. Robbie E sends Big Rob to take him out but Big Rob steps aside to let Spud hit Robbie in the face, furthering the face turn. Big Rob does the fist pump.

Sting and Brooke do nothing of note.

We recap the bikers taking out Hardy’s knee.

Sting/Bully Ray vs. D-Von/Doc

Tables match here and the TNA guys have face paint on ala Sting. The bikers are in trouble to start as Tazz goes on a rant about how the other bikers need to come out here for the save. This is still a big brawl for the most part with nothing from Aces and 8’s about two minutes in. Ray hits a Stinger Splash on D-Von in the corner and shakes the rails on the floor. Sting hits one as well and we take a break.

Back with Doc getting kicked down by Ray but the Bully misses an elbow. A big boot puts Ray on the floor and the guys pair off. Since it’s an Aces and 8’s match though, they get beaten down again and here are the tables. The bikers come back and try a double suplex through the table but Ray makes the save again.

Ray fights both of them off but gets sent to the floor for his efforts. Sting is loaded onto the table again but Ray pulls his brother to the floor. Sting crotches Doc on the top and it’s a superplex…not through the table as Knox moves the wood. Sting fights them both off (duh) and Ray hulks up before sending D-Von through a table for the win at 14:07.

Rating: C-. It’s a tag team tables match so what am I supposed to say here? These matches are almost always the same and it was clear that the bikers weren’t going to win because that’s just not what they do. This is clearly setting up Lockdown where hopefully this team is done for good.

The Hogans come out to celebrate of course, despite having nothing to do with this whatsoever.

Overall Rating: C+. This was decent but at the end of the day, Aces and 8’s bring nothing to the table (pun intended) whatsoever. They’re just not interesting and there’s nothing at all to them to make us believe they’re intimidating. They lose over and over again and they lose in the main event here. Other than that though the show was pretty solid stuff, even though it didn’t set up anything for Lockdown.

Results

Rob Van Dam b. Zema Ion and Kenny King – Van Dam pinned Ion after a northern lights suplex from King

James Storm b. Jesse Godderz – Last Call

Austin Aries/Bobby Roode b. Chavo Guerrero/Hernandez – 450 Splash to Guerrero

Miss Tessmacher b. Tara – Tess Shocker

Sting/Bully Ray b. D-Von/Doc – Ray chokeslammed D-Von through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and check out my ebook on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B9K3POI

Impact Wrestling
Date: February 2, 2012
Location: Wembley Arena, London, England
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

I was going to make a bunch of jokes about being in England tonight but I’ll try to find something funny to say instead. We have two shows in London before heading back to Orlando for Against All Odds on the 12th. I don’t think many matches have been announced officially yet but for the most part you can guess a lot of them which is fine. These shows outside of the Impact Zone are always interesting, so let’s get to it.

We open with a video of the fans who talk about how awesome wrestling is.

Hogan will be back tonight.

Roode and Ray open the show. The place looks great. Ray talks about how the fans aren’t going to see Hardy tonight because they took care of him last week. I think that was done because Hardy has visa issues due to the legal history. Roode says it’s great to be back in Ireland. He insists it’s not them that sucks and praises himself and Ray. I think the fans are chanting for D-Von.

Roode calls out Storm and here’s the Cowboy. Ray gets between them and there’s Sting’s music. The ring looks a lot smaller than usual. Sting says he talked to Hardy yesterday and Jeff will be back at Against All Odds. Sting announces the four way main event that I think we all knew was coming for the title at the PPV. As for tonight, Storm gets both of them in singles matches.

Garrett calls his trainer who will be here tonight.

Samoa Joe/Magnus vs. Crimson/Matt Morgan

Non-title here and it’s a Buckingham Brawl which is a new twist on things: there’s a coin flip to start and the winners get to be in the ring without having to tag, meaning it’s a handicap match in a way. Crimson starts and the numbers game starts up quick. The non-champions dominate for the opening minutes with a power/speed combination.

They set for their double team combination out of the corner but Crimson takes Joe down and Magnus jumps into a suplex. Hot tag brings in Morgan and everything breaks down. Crimson is sent to the floor and the Carbon Footprint misses in the corner. That allows Joe and Magnus to hit their finishing sequence on Morgan and the middle rope elbow gets the pin at 3:56.

Rating: C. Quick match but this was a good way to let Magnus/Joe get one up on the champs. Crimson and Morgan have beaten them I think twice now so why should we buy them having a real chance again? The rule twist was a nice addition and it lets the champs save some face. Decent match and the crowd was way into it.

Eric Bischoff is here.

Here’s Eric in the ring. A kid flips him off at ringside. Eric says he thought the British people were civilized. He says he’s here to burst the bubble of Garrett with a little dose of reality. Eric asks Garrett to come to the ring and then demands it. The arena is a very different setup as the entrance is on the hard camera side, making it almost like the old MSG setup for those of you familiar with it.

Garrett gets here and Eric tells him that no matter who is training him (remember that Eric knows who it is) it’s not going to matter because Garrett is never going to be good enough. Garrett asks why Eric doesn’t take it up with the trainer and Eric says that the trainer will never be here. The trainer (presumably) calls Garrett and Garrett doesn’t look that pleased. The trainer is here tonight and wants to speak with Eric.

Mark Haskins, a British guy that was in some X-Division series that was put on last year, talks about how he’s here to do whatever it takes to win. He says he’ll win the title.

Mark Haskins vs. Austin Aries

This is non-title I believe. The entire front row has its back to the ring for somer eason. Aries takes him to the mat and the fans still like Aries more than the hometown boy. Haskins is sent over the top but he skins the cat into a headscissors to take over. Aries skins the cat as well but Haskins dropkicks him down. Haskins sets for a plancha but Aries slides in. A springboard attempt is countered, resulting in Haskins being crotched.

A top rope shot to the floor takes him down even more and the fans are all for Aries. Back in and Haskins gets crotched again. A low dropkick misses and Haskins starts his comeback. A monkey flip puts Aries down but a second is countered. Haskins nips up and runs the ropes for a springboard crossbody. A cutter gets two on the champ.

Haskins goes up for a Shooting Star and lands Lesnar style, landing right on his head. Since he’s pretty much dead, Aries hits the brainbuster and holds onto him, flipping over to hook kind of a dragon sleeper hold but with Aries behind and under Haskins and pulling back on him for the tap at 4:45.

Rating: C+. Aside from the near neck breaking botch, this was a fun match. Haskins is fast but you would think he would get cheered in his hometown. I don’t know if that’s more praise for Aries or a bad thing about Haskins, although I’m leaning towards the former more than the latter. Good match though.

Eric Bischoff is yelling on the phone about getting a cab and Sting comes to bring him back inside.

James Storm vs. Bobby Roode

Feeling out process to start and Storm takes over. He takes Roode to the mat but the champ heads to the floor to avoid a Last Call. We take a break and come back with Storm hitting a facebuster but walking into a clothesline. There’s going to be a Star Wars Special next week. As long as it’s not the Holiday Special I’m all good with that. Spinebuster gets two. Storm comes back and they slug it out.

Roode goes up top but Storm gets in a big right hand to slow him down. Storm’s trunks have something that looks like the Brahma Bull on it. Storm snaps off a rana to send both guys down. Storm starts his real comeback and hits a Backstabber for no cover. Top rope elbow gets two.

Russian legsweep by Storm is countered into the Crossface but Storm rolls into the ropes. Roode sets for the Payoff but Storm counters into the Eye of the Storm but Roode counters as well. There’s the Payoff but it only gets two. Storm comes back with a Codebreaker to avoid a belt shot. He loads up the Last call but here’s Ray to break it up. That opening allows Roode to spear Storm for the pin at 13:50.

Rating: B-. If I never see another spear it’ll be too soon. This was a good match between two guys that should be facing each other for the title in a big time PPV program but that spot goes to Hardy because Storm never got high during a PPV and made the company look like a joke. Quite a good TV match though.

Post match Ray gives Storm a Rock Bottom onto the title belt. Sting makes the save.

Tara vs. Gail Kim

Tara is #1 contender but from what I can tell, this is non-title. Tara takes over to start and strips her top off for the standing moonsault. Gail takes over with some choking and a knee to the back for two. She hooks a leg lock by bending Tara’s leg over Gail’s neck then a clothesline gets two.

Mike thinks if Tara beats Gail here, it might be an advantage for her going into the rematch at the PPV. A missile dropkick misses for Gail and Tara hammers away. Powerslam (called a snap slam by Tenay) gets two but Rayne runs in for the…not DQ. She ran into Gail but it doesn’t count for some reason. Widow’s Peak ends this at 4:57.

Rating: C-. The match was ok but I really don’t get the theory here. What purpose did this serve? Why not have Rayne take the loss here rather than giving us the match ten days before its on PPV? I really don’t get this company’s thinking at times but then again, why bother trying to get people to buy the TV show when you can give the matches away for free?

Here’s Garrett to reveal the trainer but Eric comes out with Gunner. Eric talks some trash and to not a ton of shock, Hogan is the trainer. The fans of course love him because he’s an old school guy and if you’re loved once, you’re always loved. Hogan and Garrett beat Gunner up for a bit while Eric stands there. Gunner is knocked to the floor and Eric is terrified and runs. Of all the people that Hogan could give a rub to, they picked Garrett Bischoff?

Hogan and Garrett talk about how they’re coming for Eric.

Bully Ray vs. James Storm

This is Storm’s second match of the night and he has bad ribs. Ray works on the injury with some hard shots before draping Storm over the top. Off to a camel clutch for a few moments and then a slam. Here comes Roode and we take a break. Back with Sting coming to the ring with a cricket bat and Ray holding Storm in a bearhug.

Ray lets that go and hits a big boot followed by some elbow drops for two. A splash gets the same. The middle rope backsplash misses and Storm starts his comeback. He wins a nice countering sequence on the apron and a middle rope cross body gets two. Ray tries to grab Storm but gets knocked into the referee. Sting chases Roode out of the ring and the Last Call beats Ray clean at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not as good as earlier but it was nice to see someone using basic psychology here like Ray was doing. Storm getting a win keeps him strong which is something he needed going into the PPV. Not a great match or anything but Ray has really impressed me in his singles run.

Overall Rating: B. This was pretty good here as the pretty strong string of non-Orlando shows continues. This moved us towards the PPV and gave us a big development in the Bischoff feud. Now if you don’t care for the Bischoff feud or the main event, this wasn’t the show for you because that was the majority of the focus tonight. Hogan being back isn’t a bad thing but hopefully he actually gives someone a rub for a change. That talk of a Star Wars show next week though scares me.

Results
Magnus/Samoa Joe b. Crimson/Matt Morgan – Middle rope elbow to Morgan
Austin Aries b. Mark Haskins – Reverse Dragon Sleeper
Bobby Roode b. James Storm – Spear
Tara b. Gail Kim – Widow’s Peak
James Storm b. Bully Ray – Last Call

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 31, 2013
Location: Manchester Arena, Manchester, England
Commentators: Tazz, Todd Keneley, Mike Tenay

We’re in England for the first of four shows in a row. Tonight is Open Fight Night again with the main event being Angle vs. Anderson in a cage. Other than that we’re promised a huge announcement from Dixie Carter. Sometimes those things are huge and sometimes they mean jack so who knows what to expect. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Bad Influence in kilts and Braveheart face paint to open the show. Since it’s Throwback Thursday, we’re going back to the thirteenth century to praise the real heroes of the UK, the Scots! Daniels has no update on Hardy but promises to win the title and come back here for an easy title defense against the English.

This brings out the returning Magnus who makes fun of Daniels for the way he talks before calling them disrespectful Muppets. Magnus challenges either of them for later and the brawl is on. A pair of backdrops put Bad Influence on the floor and Magnus stands tall. He talks about being in the ring and getting to do what he loves, but Aces and 8’s took that from him. Therefore he’s calling out D-Von for a fight tonight. The biker comes out and we take a break.

Magnus vs. D-Von

This is non-title I believe. Magnus takes over to start and heads to the floor, where D-Von is slammed into the barricade a few times. It’s very nice to see the show in an actual arena instead of a tiny studio. D-Von kicks the rope into Magnus’ crotch as they come back in and takes over. Some punches to the face and a legdrop set up the Hogan hand to the ear. Off to a nerve hold for a bit before D-Von misses a middle rope headbutt. A high knee puts D-Von down again as does a clothesline. Not that it matters though as the rest of Aces and 8’s come in for the DQ at 5:11.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here other than yet ANOTHER Aces and 8’s loss. Can they at least win a token match just to mess with us a bit? Magnus is a guy with some talent and I’d like to see him on TV more than once every few months. The match was pretty slow stuff here though and that didn’t help things.

Magnus clears the ring before the jobbing army can get in there.

Joseph Park’s challenge is up next.

Brooke, Bully and Sting are in the back and worrying that Hulk won’t be here tonight.

Joseph Park comes out for his challenge. He’s taken a lot of notes but here’s Robbie E to interrupt. Park says that’s not his pick but E calls him a hamster. Robbie wipes himself with Park’s notes and after insulting the UK (then backing away when the Welsh Rob Terry glares at him) he challenges Park for a fight right now.

Joseph Park vs. Robbie E

Park takes over to start with some arm drags and clotheslines but a running splash misses. Robbie pounds away a bit but can’t get even a near fall out of it. Park avoids a middle rope knee and makes his comeback, hitting a belly to belly suplex of all things. A middle rope splash is enough to pin Robbie at 3:30.

Rating: C. Park continues to be a fun character and I’m reaching the point where he doesn’t need to become Abyss again. He’s nailing this so well and has been for months now, so why not let him keep doing it? This was short but it was the right way for Park to get his first win. Decent stuff here.

Hogan is here.

Aries and Roode are in the ring with Aries saying that the two of them are going to start winning championships. Roode doesn’t like the idea of Aries being world champion so they’ll start with the tag titles. Roode says the champions can’t hold a candle to them and calls out Chavo. The champions come out and Chavo says you have to be a tag team to get a title shot. Aries says they’ve already beaten Hernandez so if there’s going to be a rematch and Aries or Roode wins, they get a title match.

Chavo Guerrero vs. Austin Aries

They start fast with Chavo taking him down via a belly to back. Aries comes right back but the slingshot hilo hits knees. Chavo hits a slingshot hilo of his own and chokes away in the corner before we take a break. Back with Chavo diving onto Roode but getting hit with the suicide dive by Aries. We head back inside with Aries pounding away and a few two counts.

A headlock takeover puts Chavo down as does a backdrop for no cover. Chavo comes back with a dropkick and a capo kick for two. Three Amigos hit and there’s the frog splash but Roode comes in for a distraction. In the distraction, Aries hits a WICKED running dropkick in the corner and the brainbuster earns he and Roode a title shot at 10:33.

Rating: C-. The match wasn’t bad but man alive do I hope Aries and Roode take the titles. Chavo and Hernandez are competent in the ring (most of the time) but they might be the least interesting champions this side of Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly. Oh yeah, they’re THAT dull. The ending shots by Aries here were great.

Brooke and Bully go to the ring.

Angle is warming up with Joe, Garrett and Brisco around him. Joe yells at the rookies when they say they’ll be at ringside because Joe is going to be there instead.

We recap the Hogans/Bully stuff.

Here are Brooke and Bully to the ring to recap Bully’s suspension. Ray says that they’re family with a common enemy in Aces and 8’s. They have to bury their problems so Ray can fight the bikers. Ray says Sting can get Hogan to lift the suspension and starts a Sting chant. Cue Sting who says that he can’t get Hogan out here but the fans can.

Therefore, let’s stop the Sting chant and start a Hogan chant. Here’s Hulk so the people in the room can suck up to him a bit. Hulk talks about always doing the right thing so Bully is reinstated. This shocks him for some reason. Hulk talks about being confused about business and family though, so next week it’s Bully/Sting vs. Aces and 8’s in a tables match.

The big announcement is that Impact is going on the road permanently starting March 14^th. That’s a BIG step for them.

Here’s a ticked off Velvet to call out Tara. The champion and Jesse come out but Velvet wants a mixed tag instead of a title shot.

Velvet Sky/James Storm vs. Jesse Sorensen/Tara

The guys start things off with Storm slapping him around like a former world champion beating up a rookie that got a job because he was on a reality show. Tara trips Storm up and Jesse takes over for a few seconds until Closing Time takes him right back down. Off to the girls with Velvet taking over. Closing Time hits Jesse again and In Yo Face ends Tara at 3:50.

Rating: D+. This is the best they can do with James Storm? Seriously? The match sucked as there was no doubt as to who was going to win, but I’m rather bored with the current Knockouts. There’s never a story other than “I want the title” and seeing the same chicks fight over and over and over gets really dull after a few years.

We get a quick update on Hardy. He had an MRI on his bad knee. End of update.

We recap the Hogan segment from earlier. The Hogans say Hulk had to do something for his family because he always does the right thing when it comes to them. You know like suggesting a reality show about your son getting out of jail for a car crash that has put a guy in need of life long medical care from a car wreck that your son caused. That’s “doing the right thing”, right?

Video on Angle vs. Anderson from Lockdown 2010. That was a great match.

Joe has been attacked.

Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

In a cage. Anderson jumps Angle as he gets in and gets a quick two count. Brisco is out at ringside too. Anderson is in full control here but runs into an elbow in the corner. Angle hits a middle rope dropkick to put both guys down for a bit. The Angle Slam is countered into a Regal Roll for two and drops a medium sized leg. Angle comes back by sending Anderson into the cage and hitting the Angle Slam for two.

We take a break and come back with Angle still in control. Anderson comes back with a clothesline and goes to escape but Kurt makes the save. Anderson crotches him for two and goes up again, only to get taken down by the Angle Slam off the top. Angle is still dazed though and walks into the Mic check for two. Ken tries to go up again but gets powerbombed out of the corner. There’s the ankle lock with the grapevine for the tap out at 15:09.

Rating: B-. Not bad here and the cage was used pretty well at time. It’s certainly nothing innovative or mind blowing but for a free main event on TV between the top solider in a war against an evil faction, this was perfectly fine. Anderson isn’t much of an upgrade for the team but he’s certainly better than everyone else on the biker team.

Post match another biker comes in and Brisco comes in to join in the fight. It’s Garrett Bischoff, finally joining Aces and 8’s. Brisco jumps Angle too and they’re both bikers. WOW I NEVER, NEVER I SAY, would have seen this coming. The new recruits destroy Angle to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show wasn’t terrible but it really didn’t get going until near the end. Granted this was a taped show and they were probably still adjusting to the time and everything, but it felt a step off. The ending….yeah we knew it was coming but dang it still made me roll my eyes. Why am I supposed to care about two guys joining the team when they might as well have been carrying big signs that said “WE’RE IN ACES AND 8’s!” for the last few months? Anyway, this show certainly wasn’t bad and was pretty much ok, but it doesn’t have me dying to see more.

Results

Magnus b. D-Von via DQ when Aces and 8’s interfered

Joseph Park b. Robbie E – Middle rope splash

Austin Aries b. Chavo Guerrero – Brainbuster

James Storm/Velvet Sky b. Jesse Sorensen/Tara – In Yo Face to Tara

Kurt Angle b. Mr. Anderson – Ankle Lock

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 26, 2012
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

Back to Orlando for another week of shows, but after this (next week I believe) they’re off to England. Anyway, we now don’t have a number one contender because of the interference last week. This is probably setting up a triple threat or a fatal fourway at the PPV, which isn’t what I’m wanting but it’s probably going to happen and that’s ok. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the whole issue from last week and how we have no #1 contender.

Jeff is beating up Ray in the back and rams him into a table a few times. Jeff chokes him with a broom and the fight keeps going. The cameraman chases after him and Ray gets in some weak shots. They go through a door and Hardy keeps beating him up. A white truck pulls up with Roode in it and he saves Ray by ramming Jeff into a sign. Ray gets a wooden pallet but opts for some metal thing instead. He drops the pallet on Jeff’s leg and then does it again. They throw him in the truck but Storm comes in for the save but is beaten down as well. Sting eventually chases everyone off. The sight of him sans paint scared them.

Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Tara

The winner gets Gail at Against All Odds. Tara uses the Matrish to avoid a clothesline so it hits Velvet. We get into the standard formula of two fight while the third is down. Tara and Mickie do most of the fighting as we take a break. Back with Velvet monkey flipping Tara but Mickie breaks up whatever she was trying with a neckbreaker on Sky. Velvet knocks them both down, then Mickie knocks them both down. Thesz Press gets two on Velvet and a spinning kick gets the same on Tara. Velvet breaks up the jumping DDT and Tara hits the spinning side slam on Velvet onto Mickie (as in Sky landed on Mickie) for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. I think I’m getting very biased against women’s wrestling, but I just do not care at all about it. It’s whoever is hot at the moment and that’s about it. It’s not like people really care about it but they get a ton of time anyway. I don’t get it but there’s no way around it. Either way, weak match here but Tara vs. Gail could be good.

Gail says bring it.

We see highlights of the opening brawl earlier.

Here are Sting, Storm and Hardy to no music. He asks for Roode and Ray to get out here and the fight continues. Sting holds the good guys back with the bat and tries to calm things down. He gets them apart and says stay on one side. They fight again and eventually it’s made into a tag team tables match for later. That would be better if it wasn’t announced in the clip before the show started.

Shelley is facing Zema Ion and if he wins he gets the shot at Aries at Against All Odds.

Eric Young is getting ready and thinks a stagehand is Sammy Davis Jr. Angelina and Winter come up and imply sex. And they Love hits him low but he’s wearing a cup.

Zema Ion vs. Alex Shelley

Shelley takes over to start and gets a rollup for two. Zema beats him into the corner and doesn’t want this on cameras. He comes out of the corner with a spinning body press for two. Reverse powerbomb by Shelley and a powerbomb puts Ion on the floor. They fly around a bit and Ion sets for the 450 but Shelley moves and Sliced Bread ends this at 4:26.

Rating: C. This was a standard cruiserweight match and that’s about it. Shelley is fun to watch but ever since they’ve changed the weight limit, the title feels very secondary and the matches and feuds have felt like filler instead of something that I should care about. Such is life in a company run by Bischoff and Hogan.

AJ says that this business has changed everyone and tonight, he’s finding out why Kaz is Daniels’ puppet.

Tara says she’ll be training harder than ever and can beat Gail.

Earlier today, Eric went to Garrett’s gym to find out who the trainer is. Eric goes in and sees who it is but sends the trainer away. He was freaked out by it.

Winter/Angelina Love vs. ODB/Eric Young

Eric locks up with the referee who winds up on the apron and is then brought in. Now he tags in Eric and gets locked up with. Mike calls this the Harlem Globetrotters of wrestling. I’ve seen the Harlem Globetrotters. Eric Young is no Globetrotter. Over two minutes in and no contact yet. Winter finally hits him so Eric strips. ODB finally comes in and I’ve never been happier to see her in my life.

A Bronco Buster is messed up and Angelina takes over a few seconds later. Off to Winter who puts her in the Tree of Woe which is an image I don’t need. ODB gets in a shot and Eric throws in the flask for….another shot I guess. There’s the fallaway slam and nip up. Far too much of this match has been spent showing her underwear. Eric comes in and we get stereo airplane spins. TKO ends Angelina at 7:00.

Rating: F. I know Eric Young is popular. I get that, but my goodness I’m not a fan of him at all. This got seven minutes which is a lot of time that could have been used for someone else. Also, there was far too much of ODB losing her clothes.

Ray and Roode fire each other up for the match later.

Video on the tag title feud with Joe/Magnus challenging the champs.

Samoa Joe vs. Matt Morgan

Joe strikes him into the corner to start but Morgan uses the power of choking and chopping to come back. Morgan plays to the crowd with the elbows but gets caught in the choke. He breaks it quickly and beats on Joe even more. Clothesline gets two. Joe gets a boot up in the corner and a middle rope leg lariat gives him control.

A running charge in the corner and a kick to the head get two. Morgan takes over again and hits some clotheslines. A side slam gets two. Hellevator takes too long to set up so Joe kicks him down and a backsplash gets two. Morgan gets back up and hits a discus clothesline for….three? Mike sounds just as surprised as I am but it got the pin at 4:48.

Rating: C-. This was just ok. It still amazes me how far Joe has fallen in just a few years. He’s floated from random feud to random feud for years now and I still am not clear as to why that’s happened. This feud continues the theory that tag wrestling is done in this country, at least for the time being.

The champs get beaten down with Morgan taking the double team finisher from Magnus and Joe.

Hardy and Storm say they’ll win with a boom.

AJ wants to get to the bottom of this with Kaz and knows Daniels is pulling the strings. Here are Daniels and Kaz and the latter can’t talk to AJ. Daniels talks about how AJ is always throwing a tantrum about something or other. He says Kaz doesn’t owe AJ a thing. AJ goes to the floor but Daniels and Kaz backpedal. Daniels calls AJ a thug so AJ says he’ll turn around and let Kaz take his head off.

Kaz goes to leave but Daniels directs him to go do it. He goes to the apron and can’t do it. Daniels goes in and AJ knocks him to the floor with ease. AJ says Kaz can get in here right now and shake his hand and we’ll forget all this. The idiots at the Impact Zone count for some reason as Kaz gets in. AJ sticks out his hand but Daniels says Kaz isn’t going to do that so he gets out. Daniels says he’s had it and says he’s going to propose AJ vs. Kaz.

Jeff Hardy/James Storm vs. Bobby Roode/Bully Ray

Tables match. They manage to stay calm during the big match intros. SO Sting with a ball bat isn’t enough to keep them apart but Jeremy Borash is? Weird company man. Beer Money explodes on a table as Ray tries to suplex Hardy through one, only for Jeff to hang onto the ropes with his feet. This is all on the floor. Storm spits beer in Roode’s face. Ray takes over on Hardy but Storm makes the save. We take a break with Ray taking a water bottle to the head.

Back with Ray hitting Hardy with a chair. Hardy slingshots Ray into a post and a table is sent into the ring. Storm and Hardy try to suplex Roode through the table but Ray moves the table then takes them both down. It’s one person going through the table to end it. Roode comes back and stomps Storm to the floor so it’s Roode and Hardy in the ring now.

A table is set up in the corner and Hardy is almost able to send Roode through it but Ray makes the save. Ray tries a big boot through Hardy through the table but Jeff moves, leaving a hole in the table. Codebreaker takes Ray out but a spinebuster takes out Storm. Ray puts Hardy’s head against the post and punches it for awhile.

Storm goes into the steps and Hardy is put on the table in the ring. Ray goes up but Storm kicks him down. Now Storm goes up and Roode loads up a superplex through the table but Jeff moves. Hardy pulls Roode down and hits a Twist so he can put Roode on the table. Storm elbows Roode through it to win at 14:00.

Rating: C+. Not a bad table match and it was pretty fun on top of that. I’d assume this will wind up being a fourway for the title which is fine and would be a good way to shift it over to Hardy. This was a fun way to end the show as table matches are always popular for some reason that I’ve never quite gotten.

Post match, Ray destroys the winners with a chair and Hardy is powerbombed through a table.

Overall Rating: C-. I’m not a fan of TNA lately. The stories are all there and mostly make sense, but nothing they’re doing is grabbing me. Pretty much it’s “this happens then this happens which leads us to this.” That’s fine, but it’s not going to get people excited about things. It’s not a bad show at all but it really isn’t all that interesting. I couldn’t get into it all night and was just wanting it to end, which isn’t a good thing.

Results
Tara b. Mickie James and Velvet Sky – Pinned James after a spinning side slam to Sky
Alex Shelley b. Zema Ion – Sliced Bread #2
ODB/Eric Young b. Angelina Love/Winter – TKO to Love
Matt Morgan b. Samoa Joe – Discus Clothesline
Jeff Hardy/James Storm b. Robert Roode/Bully Ray – Storm put Roode through a table

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 24, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Todd Keneley, Tazz

So the wedding was last week and as most weddings do, it drew a good audience. The main surprise from last week’s events though was that Tazz was introduced as the newest member of Aces and 8’s. While shocking, it doesn’t address the main issues the team has. Kennedy is their biggest star I guess, but that doesn’t really make them intimidating. This stable is almost eight months old. Don’t you think it’s time we got a bit more out of them? Oh and Hardy defends against Daniels tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a long recap from last week.

Keneley and Tenay are disturbed by Tazz’s actions.

There’s kind of an opening sequence now.

Here are Aces and 8’s to open things up with Tazz leading the way. Tazz immediately gives us more about the team than we’ve gotten in the time they’ve been around: they’re out for revenge and redemption and they have a higher power. Last week was the wedding and there was a chance to step on the Hogans’ faces. They were just another victim and nothing more. As for Dixie Carter, Tazz signed a contract that says if anyone puts a hand on him that says he’ll make a fortune. Fast promo here.

Jesse hypes up Tara while bragging about himself.

Video on Daniels being around since the dawn of TNA.

Daniels says this is a turning point for his career tonight.

Tazz is back on commentary.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Velvet Sky

Velvet is back in the classic outfit instead of the catsuit which is a downgrade for me. Tara poses as the bell rings so Velvet grabs a quick rollup for two. Tara fights her back but stops to pose again and gets kicked out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Tara in control as Tazz won’t answer questions about why he turned because it’s club business. Translation: it isn’t important enough/the writers haven’t figured out the answer yet.

The shaky moonsault gets two for Tara but she goes up top for no apparent reason and gets slammed down accordingly. Velvet comes back with a headscissors and a spinning faceplant but Jesse has the referee’s attention. Tara knocks Jesse down and a rollup gets two for Velvet. Sky loads up a suplex but Jesse hooks her foot ala Bobby Heenan and Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania 5 to give Tara the win at 9:42.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t horrible but the first part of the match was pretty sloppy. The division is at a standstill at this point as nothing has really changed for awhile. It’s the same set of girls having the same matches that we’ve seen for years now. Velvet’s big return basically means nothing at this point and hasn’t changed anything. Also, can more than two Knockouts appear on screen at once or is that against the rules?

Open Fight Night is back next week.

Sting has something to say later on.

Kenny King talks to himself in the mirror when Zema Ion comes up to talk strategy. Tension is teased and I can’t bring myself to be interested.

Here’s Joseph Park to say that his place is here on Impact instead of in the courtroom. He never got that win though, or that W as the boys call it. He’s here to be the best he can be and holds up a passport, saying he’ll be here next week in Manchester to compete in Open Fight Night. He doesn’t know who he’s facing but he’s going to spend the week watching film. Next week he’ll deliver his verdict and then hold his own court and get that W.

Zema Ion/Kenny King vs. Rob Van Dam/Christian York

York and Ion start things off as Tazz talks about which of these guys would be a good addition to the team. Off to Van Dam who goes after King on the apron and gets in trouble for his efforts. King comes in legally and hits a nice snap suplex for two. Back to Ion for his usual lame stuff as we hear about Bellator for the 100^th time in two weeks.

Ion misses a 450 and everything breaks down. Rob loads up the split legged moonsault on Zema but King crotches him, only to get elbowed back down. Rob gets kicked off the top and Ion tags himself in. A tornado DDT is countered but King hits a springboard Blockbuster to give Ion the pin at 5:09.

Rating: C. I’m trying to care about Ion and it’s just not working at all. The guy just isn’t that good but he of all the people that have been brought in to the division over the last few years, they pick HIM to stick around and push? York and King looked fine here while Van Dam was Van Dam. I’m hoping King wins the title soon as it would shake the division up a bit while also being logical progression.

Tazz leaves to take a phone call.

Bully and Brooke arrive and will do their talking in the ring.

Joe tells Garrett and Wes that they can’t suck up to him like they do to Angle. Kurt pops up and says he’s still hurt but he can fight.

We recap the wedding. Again.

Here are Bully and Brooke to the ring. Bully says that he expected this from D-Von but not Tazz. Last week Aces and 8’s hurt Sting who is the only person that has trusted Ray. They also hurt Hogan who it took forever to get to accept Ray, but more importantly they hurt Brooke. Ray tells Aces and 8’s to sleep with their eyes open until he takes care of all of them. However he needs the absent Hulk to lift his suspension to do that. Cue Sting who begs Hulk to take this all the way like he does with everything else. He believes that Hogan will do the right thing next week in Manchester.

Aries and Roode praise each other to try to get out of a match with Hernandez. Aries: “You were the longest reigning champion ever.” Roode: “Then you beat me.” Aries: “Well yeah but…” Eventually Roode is tricked into taking the match because he’s the power guy and Aries should clean up. Roode is confused but Aries leaves before Bobby can complain.

Video on Hardy before Hardy says (out loud!) that he’ll win.

Hernandez vs. Bobby Roode

Roode tries to pound away a bit but gets backdropped for his efforts. Tenay thinks Roode is a better singles wrestler than Hernandez. The PROFESSOR ladies and gentlemen. There’s the delayed vertical suplex to Roode but he immediately comes back with a guillotine on the top rope. Tazz says he could see either of these guys joining Aces and 8’s in the future. Roode hooks a chinlock but SuperMex fights out of it and hits the slingshot shoulder to take over.

There’s the corner splash and the over the shoulder backbreaker for no cover. Roode comes back with a chop but gets sent to the floor. Hernandez loads up a dive but Aries runs out for the save. He and Chavo get in a fight on the floor as Roode hits a bulldog on Hernandez for the clean pin at 5:41.

Rating: C-. A bulldog is enough for a pin? The problem here is that Hernandez is completely uninteresting and Chavo doesn’t help much. They’re very dull champions as they don’t really do anything other than hold the titles and have decent matches. Roode and Aries are hilarious but I don’t really care to see them as tag champions. The match was ok at best.

Here’s Angle to say that next week he’s calling out Anderson on Open Fight Night. Cue Anderson in full Aces and 8’s gear to say that he wants to fight right now. After the brawl erupts, Angle clears the ring and says that it’s going to be in a cage next week.

Post break Anderson is panicking over the cage match but D-Von says drink beer and calm down. He has a plan apparently.

TNA World Title: Jeff Hardy vs. Christopher Daniels

Daniels is challenging here and literally dances to the ring. Tazz predicts that Hardy is going to have trouble in the year 2013. Feeling out process to start with Hardy taking over, only to miss a charge in the corner and fall to the floor. Kaz comes in to celebrate and we take a break. Back with Daniels hitting a clothesline and choking away on Hardy for a bit. A modified neckbreaker hits for two on Hardy and it’s off to the chinlock.

Hardy comes back with a clothesline and speeds things way up before getting two off the mule kick. A middle rope splash gets two but Hardy jumps into a Death Valley Driver for two. Daniels busts out the Koji Clutch which we haven’t seen in years and that no one seems to know the name of. Christopher loads up something like a superplex but gets caught in the front suplex from the top for two. The Twist is countered into the Angel’s Wings for two but the BME and Swanton both miss, the latter of which gives Hardy two. Hardy counters Angel’s Wings into a rana and it’s double Twist and Swanton to retain at 14:10.

Rating: B. Good match here with both guys looking great. Daniels is SO much more fun to watch when he’s not against AJ all the time and his latest run has been all kinds of entertaining. The promos are way better than the matches, which is saying a lot as the match here was solid stuff. Hardy winning was pretty clear but that’s not always a bad thing. Good main event here.

Post match Tazz distracts Hardy and a masked biker hits Jeff in the knee with a hammer to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. This was ok but not much better than that. At the end of the day not a lot was really explained that we didn’t know already and there wasn’t much followup at all to the wedding stuff from last week. The main event was solid and the post match stuff is likely due to Hardy not being able to appear in the UK due to his legal issues over the years. Pretty decent stuff here but the wrestling wasn’t all that great save for one match.

Results

Tara b. Velvet Sky – Tara pinned Sky after Jesse tripped her

Zema Ion/Kenny King b. Rob Van Dam/Christian York – Ion pinned York after a springboard Blockbuster from King

Bobby Roode b. Hernandez – Bulldog

Jeff Hardy b. Christopher Daniels – Swanton Bomb

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Impact Wrestling
Date: January 17, 2013
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Keneley, Tazz, Mike Tenay

Tonight is about the wedding of Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan. For those of you that haven’t followed Impact Wrestling for awhile, you did indeed read that properly. Also we get to deal with the fallout from Genesis as we now have about two months before the next three hour PPV in Lockdown. Odds are we’re not going to really start building up to that for awhile yet. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap opens things up while recapping them.

Ray is getting his tuxedo ready and seems happy. Spike Dudley comes in (complete with taped glasses) and is followed by Tommy Dreamer. Apparently they’re his groomsmen.

Some Knockouts are Brooke’s bridesmaids. It’s not clear if Hulk is going to be there or not.

Here’s Hardy to open the show. He talks about retaining at Genesis and surviving against all odds. Hardy says he does what he does for the people and he’ll keep fighting for them forever. 2013 is going to be the year of Jeff Hardy so bring on the fights. This brings out Daniels and Kaz to talk about Daniels’ title shot next week which he won by beating Storm on Sunday. Daniels does his usual name jokes but Hardy wants to fight right now. Hardy gets beaten down until Storm runs in for the save. If you can’t figure out what this sets up, go read something else.

James Storm/Jeff Hardy vs. Bad Influence

Actually it starts right now. It’s a brawl to start with Jeff diving on both opponents as we take a break. Back with Storm vs. Daniels before it’s quickly off to the champion. Storm comes back in after about half a second to start working on the arm. Daniels rams him into the corner so Kaz can choke away like a good heel would. Bad Influence (I’m really not feeling that name and it’s barely ever used) takes their turns on Storm as we’re waiting on the big hot tag to Jeff.

Storm finally hits a Russian legsweep and makes the aforementioned hot tag, hitting a running clothesline off the apron to take Daniels down. Everything breaks down and Storm hits Closing time on Daniels. He dives over the top at Chris and hurts his own knee in the process. Kaz escapes the Twist and rakes Hardy’s eyes to set up a small package for two. Hardy grabs a VERY sloppy Twist for the pin at 12:00.

Rating: C. Really basic tag match here which didn’t do anything of note. The smart thing to do here would be to have Daniels pin Hardy via cheating of some kind but instead they just had things go like usual. The Twist at the end was pretty sloppy too which didn’t help anything. I’m also not sure what Storm is getting out of this but maybe it’s too early to say.

Daniels blasts Hardy in the back and hits Angel’s Wings on the belt.

The Gut Check guys talk about the match last week.

Joseph Park gives Ray some Cuban cigars that may or may not be legal. He also asks about a prenup and gives a thumbs up or down. Ray: “OUT!” Funny stuff.

Time for Gut Check. Apparently only one guy gets to go to the judges and that’s Jay Bradley (meaning Brian Cage goes home). Tazz says no, so Jay gives a decent speech saying he’s earned this shot. Snow says yes, Bruce says yes, he gets a contract. Why this is supposed to be interesting I’m not sure.

Christian York vs. Kenny King

This is fallout from King’s attack on York that likely cost him the title on Sunday. York dives onto King to start and beats on him on the floor before heading back inside for a clothesline. Christian pounds away in the corner and hits a bunch of kicks to King’s face. This is one sided so far. King fires off a kick but York immediately comes back with a suplex. He loads King into the Rack to do what King did to him on Sunday, but Kenny rakes the eyes and rolls York up with a handful of trunks to win at 2:52. King’s offense consisted of an eye rake, a kick and a rollup.

Ray asks Sting to talk to Hulk for him. Sting says he’ll try.

Aries antagonizes Roode for not winning the title before saying the arguing makes no sense. The slanting isn’t in their favor and Aries is tired of it. Apparently they’re crashing the wedding.

Taz goes to the back to help set up for the wedding.

Hulk is in the parking lot and the cameraman asks him if he’s here for the wedding tonight. Hulk says nothing other than saying get the camera out of his face.

Taz comes in to Bully’s room and they make fun of Heyman a bit. Dreamer asks about Hogan but Ray says he’s marrying Brooke as long as his guys are here with him.

We recap the Ray/Hogans stuff.

Here’s Sting to ask Hogan to come out and talk about the wedding. Hogan says he doesn’t trust Bully because in wrestling, everyone stabs everyone in the back. He wants an explanation from Sting on why he trusts Bully. Sting talks about all of the times that Ray has saved them but Hogan says he has a bad feeling about this and he’ll never trust Bully Ray. Sting says Hulk needs to do this for himself and Brooke. Hulk says he’ll do the right thing. Brother.

Gail Kim talks to Taryn Terrell and explains how she cost Gail the gauntlet match on Sunday. Apparently Brooke has given Gail a rematch against Velvet, making the whole thing on PPV completely pointless.

We get clips of Bully Ray at a strip club for his bachelor party.

Gail Kim vs. Velvet Sky

Winner gets a title shot at some point. I’m digging Velvet’s new curly hair. Velvet sends her to the floor to start as we’re not exactly in a fast gear early on. A sunset flip gets two for Velvet so Gail kicks her in the ribs to take over. A neckbreaker gets two for Kim and Velvet gets the same off a snap suplex. Sky can’t hit a bulldog so Gail dropkicks her down. Eat Defeat hits but Velvet gets a foot under the rope at two. Now the bulldog hits as does a headscissors. A kind of spinning X-Factor takes down Gail and In Yo Face gets the pin at 5:54.

Rating: D+. I don’t care. I’ve tried for months now and I just do not care about the Knockouts at all. They’re mostly gorgeous, they have good outfits on, and I do not care anything at all past that. The same girls have been having the same matches and feuds for years now and I do not care at all. The match was the usual stuff.

Dixie and Brooke have a girl moment.

It’s 9:30 and with nothing else to go, it’s time for the wedding???

We recap Daniels and Hardy earlier.

Here are Aries and Roode to complain about life in general. They say there should be a celebration about the two of them because without the two of them, there wouldn’t be a show. They complain about not having respect despite being champion for almost all of last year. Aries points out how all of the champions in TNA used to be big deals….ten years ago. This brings out Chavo and Hernandez, complaints are made, Mexican food jokes are made, a brawl breaks out and the champs clear the ring. Ok so the wedding only gets twenty minutes. That’s WAY better.

Hogan and Sting are STILL talking. Sting suggests that maybe Brooke can see something Hogan can’t.

It’s wedding time. Ray is in a tux which is weird to say the least. The groomsmen come out with the bridesmaids (looking GOOD tonight) and here’s Brooke. Hulk finally comes out (setting a record in getting into a tuxedo) to a big ovation. The fans tell Hulk to shake Bully’s hand. They get through a LONG intro from the minister and saying how much they care about each other. No one objects, they both say I do, and Tazz takes the mic from the minister.

Tazz asks if Bully is sure, then says it’s too hot in here. He takes off his jacket, and reveals an Aces and 8’s vest. The big brawl ends the ceremony and show. Brooke gets kidnapped again as Ray takes a pedestal to the face

Overall Rating: C-. The question coming into this show wasn’t would there be a swerve in the wedding but rather what would the swerve be. As for what we got…..eh. It’s still someone else that doesn’t really change anything, so who cares? Other than that though, there wasn’t much here. They did a good job of hyping up the world title match next week, but other than that there wasn’t much going on here. This was ALL about the wedding, which is ok, but if you’re not into that storyline, go watch something else. TNA has run into that problem before and while it isn’t as bad as it’s been in the past, they’re getting close to it.

Results

James Storm/Jeff Hardy b. Bad Influence – Twist of Fate to Kazarian

Kenny King b. Christian York – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Velvet Sky b. Gail Kim – In Yo Face

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