Impact Wrestling
Date: June 9, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the go home show for Slammiversary and we have most of the card set up already.  With Foley now fired and apparently legit gone from the company, it appears that Immortal is back in control again.  Also we’re likely to get the final push to Sting vs. Anderson which will see Sting/Young vs. Anderson/Gunner.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week of Foley being fired and Immortal having full power again.  Hogan is looking extra orange here.

Hogan and Bischoff open the show.  Hulk says that the Network finally woke up and got rid of the selfish Foley.  Eric says that Foley did have a few good ideas such as the name of the show and that wrestling matters.  Eric assures us that the X Division is going to be presented in a fair and balanced manner.  First up though he wants the contenders in the world title match to come down here right now.

Here are Anderson and Sting.  Hogan talks about how awesome this company is now.  They’re not going to go through this with the Network again.  Hogan gave his word apparently and he meant it.  At Slammiversary there will be a winner and a loser with no gimmicks or agendas.  Also there will be no run-ins.  If either guy has a problem with that speak now.

Anderson raises his hand and says that he’s been making fun of Sting for weeks because everything Sting stands for is a joke.  Anderson is in this for Anderson and on Sunday, he’s getting the title back.  Sting says he’s got a lot he’s going to do about that.  There are a lot of things he wants to do around here and he’s going to do them because he’s champion.  One of two things has to happen: Hogan and Bischoff have to leave or the real Hogan has to come back.  He gets in Eric’s face and calls him an infection, blaming him for Hogan being the way he is.  Hogan needs to cut away the cancer, and he’s certainly capable of it.

Knockouts are up next.

Mickie James/Tara vs. Winter/Angelina Love

Can we just get to the lesbian stuff already?  Tara has the motorcycle back.  Tara and Winter start us off.  Angelina doesn’t seem interested in tagging in so Mickie and Tara work on the arm.  I guess Mickie is all cool about the whole Tara running her over a few months back thing.  Off to Angelina who wants Mickie.  Tara instead hits a spinning side slam and it’s off to Mickie.  They hit a wheelbarrow splash for one as Angelina does her zombie thing again.

With Tara accidentally distracting the referee, Winter is able to get a powerbomb in the corner on Mickie for two.  The zombie chicks take over on Mickie now as she plays Ricky Morton for a bit.  Mickie hammers back and that gets her nowhere.  Blind tag brings in Angelina but Mickie hits a dropkick to take her down.  Everything breaks down and Madison comes down to distract Tara, allowing Angelina to hit her backbreaker on Mickie for the pin at 4:45.

Rating: C. Not bad here but really just a standard tag match.  It sets up the Mickie vs. Angelina match on Sunday which is fine.  Nothing too bad but Madison might have been a bit too much out there.  Angelina’s chest looked great though so that balances out the questionable ending.

Beer Money and Shelley are ready for their match tonight and on Sunday.

Mexican America says they’re tired of getting less every time.

We get a video of Samoa Joe and Crimson fighting in a bar which is filmed via phone apparently.  Joe beats the tar out of him.

Jeff Jarrett gets here and doesn’t want to talk about Karen so he walks off.

The Brits are on commentary here.  Well at least Magnus is as Williams stands behind the desk.

Mexican America vs. Alex Shelley/James Storm

Anarquia and Shelley start us off.  The champions I guess do some of the Guns’ offense which Storm modifies for his own style.  I like that as it plays up the best of both world dynamics.  Shelley gets caught coming off the top and Hernandez hits his slingshot shoulder to take Shelley down.  We keep cutting to Magnus talking so it’s hard to see everything that’s going on.

Shelley tries to fight back but gets caught by the power of Hernandez.  Slam sets up a missed splash off the top by Supermex and there’s the tag to Storm and one to Anarquia also.  Everything breaks down and Hernandez is knocked to the floor.  Storm has Anarquia covered but the girls distract the referee.  Sarita gets beer to the face and Shelley kicks Storm in the face, allowing Anarquia to get the pin on Storm at 4:30.

Rating: C. Pretty decent tag match here as we can see the problems that the guys unfamiliar with being partners.  I liked how Shelley and Storm worked together out there but I’m not sure I get the point in having them lose.  Have miscommunication and let them win still to make it look like they’re having issues but can still win on Sunday.  Either way not bad here.

Gunner comes in to see Anderson and Anderson asks for help against Sting, implying he’ll repay the favor later.  They’re cool apparently.

Mexican America comes in to see Hogan and wants a title shot.  Hogan gets all ticked off and says quit telling me what to do or he’ll turn into the Terminator and play a game of Hulkster Says with the ladies.  Mexican America is going to do something when Hogan least expects it.  Ok then.

Preview of Angle/Jarrett with the main focus being on Angle.  He says he’s not worried about this Sunday and says that he can beat Jarrett this time because there will be no Karen to distract him.

We open the second hour with more talking of course, this time in the form of Jarrett and Angle.  Jeff says Kurt is going to listen tonight rather than it being them going back and forth.  Karen is gone apparently and won’t be at the PPV.  Jeff has had to think about that for seven days now and the first thing he did was panic.  He panicked over what Kurt will do to him when it’s one on one.  Jeff reminds everyone that he brought Kurt in and Kurt is the best in history.

However, Kurt never thanked Jeff for bringing him in.  Kurt wasn’t happy about being the best in the company and the real star.  It was always about making people forget about Jeff.  Then Jarrett wanted to take everything dear to Kurt, so he took his wife and kids.  Now he wants to take away Kurt’s place on top and he won’t sleep until he owns it.

Kurt finally gets to talk and thanks Jeff for taking Karen out of his life for good.  All he’s ever wanted was Jeff one on one but Jeff had to keep bringing Karen into it.  Kurt isn’t wasting any more words on him because on Sunday, his wrestling will do the talking.  Then Jeff will see how real this really is.

ODB doesn’t like how Velvet presents herself and ODB will how Velvet what wrestling is tonight.

Kaz and Kendrick have Janice and are looking for Abyss.  Kendrick says Abyss is his type of guy.  They say they’re going to go find him.

Bully Ray is here for an open challenge.  On Sunday he’ll be the last man standing because he’s a man.  I wonder if he’s 40.  The challenge is for everyone other than D-Von.  Here’s a surprising person to take it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Bully Ray

RVD does his poses and gets powerbombed out of the corner for two.  All Ray so far as he uses his basic brawling stuff.  RVD finally gets in a kick to send Ray into the corner.  Monkey flip doesn’t work and Ray hammers away again.  AJ is chilling in the stands watching this.  Ray hasn’t seen him yet but he does now.  The distraction lets RVD recover long enough to counter the Piledriver.  Springboard kick sets up the Five Star and we’re done at 3:30.

Rating: C. This is barely gradeable as the majority was Ray hammering on RVD and then the AJ distraction.  RVD had a total of about four moves in this.  Remember a few weeks ago when he and Angle had one of the “biggest matches in Impact history”?  And now he has a three and a half minute match with Bully Ray that he needs AJ to help him get through.  Things change so fast in wrestling it’s unreal.

We get a clip from English TV of Angle trying to get back on the Olympic team.

Kendrick and Kaz are still looking for Abyss and they actually find him reading The Art of War again.  Abyss talks about how he doesn’t need Janice anymore and calls the X Title the Extreme Title.  There can be a three way at the PPV.  Kendrick gets into a big philosophical rant and Kaz just leaves.

We run down the card for Slammiversary.

ODB vs. Velvet Sky

ODB isn’t under contract apparently so she comes out next to the broadcast table.  Sky jumps her before the bell and the brawl begins.  Velvet is sent into the steps and hurts her knee as we finally head into the ring and start the actual match.  ODB covers immediately but only gets two.  This is a sloppy brawl and barely even a match at all.

Velvet can’t get going due to the knee injury but has a chance to breathe due to ODB yelling at the referee.  She argues even more and Velvet can’t do anything.  The announcers make stupid jokes and we get more arguing with the referee.  Velvet finally wakes up and stomps away in the corner.  Out to the floor again and Velvet gets her back rammed into the post.  Fall away slam sets up more yelling and Velvet grabs a DDT for the surprise pin at 5:12.

Rating: D. Didn’t like this at all as it was about five minutes of stomping, choking and yelling.  I guess that’s the end of this feud and if so that’s not saying very much.  Pretty weak match here and the only real perk was Velvet looking good.  Any match where I have to watch ODB slap her vagina is a bad one.

Eric Young is all stupid again and talks about unifying the titles and Who’s The Boss before Sting yells at him again.  He wants him to drop the comedy for one night and let the competitor come out.

We get a clip from Xplosion where D-Von and Pope have been having issues.  Pope came out to save D-Von from Mexican America.  D-Von doesn’t like Pope being around his kids and wife.

And now let’s have our main event.

Gunner/Mr. Anderson vs. Sting/Eric Young

Big match intros kill some time.  The slow bell for this makes me chuckle for some reason.  Sting vs. Anderson to start but we get the traditional fast tag from Anderson to bring in Gunner.  Sting gets the splash in the corner very quickly and adds a second one, both of them to the back.  Apparently the second was because a spot was messed up as after the first Sting intentionally turned his back to Anderson.  He did it again the second time in the same spot and Anderson drilled him.

Anderson works over Sting in the corner now and it’s off to Gunner again.  He works on the ribs with an abdominal stretch and here’s Anderson again.  Sting gets a clothesline and it’s off to Eric who cleans a few rooms, adding a big top rope elbow to Gunner.  He fakes blowing mist at Anderson but celebrates too much and is rammed into Sting.  That counts as a tag somehow and Gunner hits the F5 on Sting for the pin at 6:00.  Oh and Young celebrates on the floor.

Rating: D+. What in the world was that?  Who in the world thought it was a good idea for Gunner of all people to get a pin on Sting to end the show?  I don’t get this at all and the main event is the longest match of the show at 6:00.  Not a fan of that at all and I don’t get what they’re going for here in the slightest.

Back and Young doesn’t get that they lost.  Sting is mad.

AJ says the plan is coming together.  Ray pops up and says he didn’t back away.  Agents break it up.

Sting gets something out of his bag and Anderson talks about how he didn’t break a sweat.  Sting comes up and Anderson runs.  They go into a trailer and Sting beats him down then puts paint all over Anderson’s face.  This is Sting snapping I guess.  He chokes Anderson out to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a bad show tonight but it was rather paint by numbers.  Nothing really happened here but it was a go home show for the PPV and they covered the big matches for it pretty well.  That being said it was another match where everything kind of dragged which is never a good thing.  Definitely not a bad show but really just kind of there at the end of the day.  That main event brought it down though.

Results

Angelina Love/Winter b. Mickie James/Tara – Backbreaker to James

Mexican America b. Alex Shelley/James Storm – Anarquia pinned Storm after a superkick from Shelley

Rob Van Dam b. Bully Ray – Five Star Frog Splash

Velvet Sky b. ODB – DDT

Gunner/Mr. Anderson b. Sting/Eric Young – F5 to Sting

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 2, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s Thursday, which means it’s time for Impact.  After last week’s less than inspired effort, hopefully tonight there are no 40 minute rests between matches.  We have two weeks left before Slammiversary and most of the card seems to be all set up.  I’d expect more shenanigans from Anderson tonight as far as Sting and more build between Jarrett and Angle because we haven’t seen enough of that yet right?  Let’s get to it.

Bischoff arrives and is served legal papers by the Network.  Because when you think of wrestling, you think of old men with gray hair, network dealings and legal paperwork right?

We open with a big brawl between Velvet and ODB in the back.  Velvet fights back and hits a spear through….a big piece of paper.  ODB shouts about Velvet being the reason why ODB doesn’t have a job.  ODB beats her up and carries her into the Impact Zone, shouting about how Velvet slept her way to her job and all that jazz.

The producers FINALLY come out to break this up and that goes nowhere so ODB rips off the shirt Velvet is wearing so we at least get to see Sky in a bikini which is never a bad thing.  After Velvet is left laying and ODB leaves Tessmacher finally comes out to help her.  Some friend.  This ate up like five minutes total.

AJ and Bully Ray have a confrontation later.  Not a match mind you, a confrontation.

Also Jarrett/Steiner vs. Angle/Morgan.

Here’s Sting and never mind as it’s really Anderson again in old school Sting clothes.  He’s going to face someone from Sting’s past tonight and that’s about it.

Bischoff is on the phone and Kendrick comes up, saying he wants another shot at Abyss.  Kaz has the shot at the PPV apparently but tonight instead it’s Kaz vs. Kendrick and the winner gets Abyss at Slammiversary.

Bischoff is still on the phone, apparently to Hogan.  He actually says SpikeTV instead of The Network for once.  He comes into the arena and apparently that was during the break.  Hogan will be here later it seems.  Bischoff calls down Beer Money and apparently Roode isn’t cleared to wrestle at the PPV.  They’re facing the British Invasion apparently.  Uh….why?  Roode says he’ll be at the PPV so here comes Alex Shelley.

Apparently Sabin as torn ligaments in his knee and won’t be back until 2012.  Shelley talks about the best of 5 series that the Guns had last year with Beer Money and how he wants to defend the titles in Roode’s place.  Bischoff says no way but Shelley has Network authority.  They team is now Gun Money apparently.  Shouldn’t it be Beer Guns or Motor Beer or something?

Matt Hardy vs. Crimson

Crimson is introduced as the undefeated Crimson.  It’s Crimson vs. Joe at the PPV apparently.  Matt gets taken down by a clothesline quickly and sent to the floor for a breather.  Very basic match so far as Crimson uses his power and Matt uses his basic offense.  A middle rope clothesline puts Crimson down and an elbow gets two.  Matt works on the neck which makes sense for a guy whose finisher is the Twist of Hate.  Crimson tries to go up but Matt knocks him off and hits a middle rope legdrop for two.

Crimson starts his comeback and hits a double arm DDT for two.  His offense is kind of limited for the most part and he doesn’t wrestle like the power guy you would think he is based on his looks.  Twist of Fate doesn’t hit but the Sky High (wasn’t that called Red Sky or something last week?) ends this out of nowhere at 6:05.

Rating: C. Pretty boring here as Crimson didn’t look so much like a monster here but rather someone that escaped with a victory.  That’s ok because Matt is probably the biggest one on one match he’s had off the top of my head other than Joe, but this wasn’t anything all that great.  Not bad either though.  Just kind of there if that makes sense.

Joe comes out post match and is speared out of the ring before he can even throw a punch.

Anderson comes up to Young in the back and wants to talk to him.  Young has both titles on him still.  Apparently the world is clamoring for Young to have seminars to show how to have matches like Young and Gunner had last week.  Anderson wants Young to pretend to be Great Muta tonight for the match.  This is about respect though, not disrespect, so Young agrees.

Winter tells Angelina that tonight the respect begins again with Tessmacher.  Angelina actually talks, saying she remembers a better time when they were loved and alone and they need to go back to that time, which starts tonight.  Winter seems thrilled.

Eric gives an emotional speech to Immortal (including the Jarretts for once), saying that he didn’t think it would end like this.  Hogan will be here later and will explain things.  Immortal wants to know what happens to them as Bischoff leaves.

Miss Tessmacher vs. Angelina Love

Love vs. James at the PPV.  Tessmacher gets a pair of rollups within the first ten seconds for two each.  Angelina starts no selling stuff and hammers away on Tessmacher.  Cross body gets two for Tessmacher but Love knocks her to the floor.  Side slam is kind of dropped and Angelina rams her into the corner a few times.  Tessmacher fires back but takes forever setting up a victory roll and gets countered.  A reverse DDT into a backbreaker ends this at 3:35.

Rating: D+. Tessmacher isn’t much in the ring but thankfully they’ve figured that out, letting her more or less being a stripper and only be out there for her looks.  Not the worst match ever but really just par for the course with a weak Knockout against a decent one.  At least Tessmacher looked hot.

Post match Angelina chokes Tessmacher until Winter pulls her off.

Mr. Anderson vs. Eric Young

This is billed as Sting vs. the Not-So-Great Muta.  This feud was what, 22 years ago?  I know TNA is supposed to be an alternative to the kids show, but anyone under about 25 isn’t going to remember the original feud.  And yet it’s somehow better than Disco Inferno last week.  Anderson does slow motion Stinger Splashes in the corner while Young stands around.  Young goes to leave but Anderson stops him and overacts on everything.  Young’s face paint looks like Darth Maul.  Splash misses in the corner and Young fights back with a forearm for two.

Belly to belly gets two as does a crucifix.  Anderson tries to fight back and hits a reverse neckbreaker for two.  Young actually hits the moonsault for two and here’s Gunner.  The referee makes the stop and it allows Young to spit green mist at Anderson and a small package gets the pin at 3:58.  That’s an upset I guess, but not as big a one as they’re making it out to be.  The winner is announced as the Not-So-Great Muta.

Rating: C. For a comedy match, this wasn’t all that bad.  Young’s impression was pretty much dead on Muta, but I don’t really get the point in having the midcard champion be an impersonator like this.  It was entertaining, but I’m also not sure what the point of this is from Anderson’s perspective.  Is this supposed to tick Sting off or be rude to him?  By saying you had some great feuds in the past?  I don’t really get how that’s insulting.

Gunner and Anderson beat down Young post match until Sting makes the save.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kazarian

Winner gets Abyss for the X-Title at the PPV.  They shake hands pre-match to establish that they’re both good guys.  Very technical back and forth stuff to start us off here as neither guy can get an extended advantage.  Release gutwrench suplex puts Kendrick down and we head to the floor.  Brian misses a dive and Kaz takes over.  Back in the ring a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two for Kaz.

Kaz takes over completely, hitting a leg lariat for two.  Off to a cross arm pulling hold by Kazarian to give them a quick breather.  Kendrick gets a kick to the face to switch momentum and a missile dropkick gets two.  Moonsault misses for Kendrick but an enziguri puts Kaz down.  Sliced Bread #2 is countered into a neckbreaker for two for Kaz.  Good match so far.

Fade to Black doesn’t work so Kendrick kicks his head off with a superkick.  Frog splash gets knees though and a Shining Wizard puts Kendrick on the floor.  They trade two counts back in the ring as neither guy can take advantage again.  With a rollup the bell rings for a time limit draw at 7:57.  Dude, seriously?  You can’t give them an extra two minutes and three seconds for the sake of people who, I don’t know, might have looked at a clock before the match?

Thankfully they’re given five more minutes.  They both hit cross bodies at the same time and both guys are down.  And never mind as here comes Abyss to beat them both up for the DQ at a minute into the overtime so the total time is approximately 9:00.

Rating: B. Ok even though TNA can’t tell time apparently, this was one of the best TV matches I’ve seen in a long time.  This is what you can get with two young and talented guys that are out there working hard and giving you a good match.  I enjoyed this, even though the ending was rather stupid.  Very good match.

Here’s AJ to call out Ray.  He calls the Impact Zone his house so here’s Ray to rebut.  Ray says Daniels and AJ didn’t beat him last week.  They beat Dreamer, who was another weak partner apparently.  Ray says that AJ is everything he hates in a modern pro wrestler.  Instead of playing on a laptop, AJ needs to be in a strip club, getting a lap dance.

AJ says Ray is rather, ahem, small, which freaks Ray out.  Styles says that a bully is like a bully: you only have to pop it once to get rid of it.  A last man standing match is made for Slammiversary.  That could be good.  Ray asks if AJ knows what he’s getting himself into.  AJ asks if Ray knows what he’s getting into.  Not bad here.

Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner vs. Matt Morgan/Kurt Angle

They do the Karen in a chair thing to kill some time before the match starts.  Actually they completely throw her out.  Angle vs. Steiner start but Morgan and Jarrett are tagged in less than five seconds after the bell.  Jeff has black in his tights now.  Ok let’s tag it out again and have Steiner vs. Angle.  There’s a minute down in this match.  Angle gets a belly to belly and it’s off to Jarrett again rather quickly.

There’s the ankle lock but Jeff kicks off and Angle tags out also.  Headbutt takes Jarrett down and it’s off to Kurt again.  Oh never mind as we need to cut to the back to see Hogan being handed papers by Bischoff.  Back and Jeff hits an enziguri on Angle and brings in Steiner.  At this point, Impact officially has had more wrestling than NXT had this past week and it only took them an extra hour.

Steiner gets a belly to belly on Angle for two and it’s off to Jeff again.  Lots of tagging in this match.  It’s Sting/Young vs. Gunner/Anderson next week.  Stroke attempt is countered into an ankle lock but Jeff reverses again and both guys are down.  Off to Morgan and Steiner with Morgan claiming the advantage in the battle of alliteration.

Michinoku Driver gets two for Morgan as Jarrett saves.  Kurt and Jeff fight up the ramp and it’s an ankle lock on the stage, broken up by Karen.  We don’t bother watching the ring at this point but Jeff knocks Kurt into Karen and apparently she fell down a flight of stairs.  In the ring Steiner pins Morgan at 6:34 with a move we didn’t see at all.

Rating: C. Just a main event tag match here that was about a minute of nothing but tagging to start.  The ending…well….we have no idea what it was so it might have been good I guess.  Steiner hit Morgan low but there was a long delay between that and the pin so that probably wasn’t the pin.  Either way, just a main event tag here but nothing too bad.

Angle yells down at Jeff, saying it’s Jeff’s fault and we need paramedics.

Back and Karen is put in an ambulance as the announcers are all serious.

Here are Bischoff and Hogan.  Bischoff talks about Foley and how he’s known him for 19 years.  Foley could always talk but in the ring he couldn’t do much.  Foley is a puppet master because he’s made a career out of having a sock on his hand.  Hogan starts talking now, saying that Eric is his partner and that’s all that matters.  Hogan opens the paper which he looked at earlier, apparently reading it the first time.  He reads the legal issues out loud and Foley is fired apparently.  So Bischoff read those papers ALL FREAKING NIGHT and he never saw that part?  Hogan and Bischoff hug to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Well it wasn’t great, but this was miles ahead of what they had last week.  First and foremost the pacing was MUCH better.  There were no long breaks between matches and while there wasn’t much more wrestling, it was spaced out better which can make a huge difference.  Stuff was advanced this week and it was overall a much more entertaining show.  Better, but still not a great show or anything.

Results

Crimson b. Matt Hardy – Sky High

Angelina Love b. Miss Tessmacher – Reverse DDT into a backbreaker

Eric Young b. Mr. Anderson – Small Package

Brian Kendrick vs. Kazarian went to a no contest when Abyss interfered

Scott Steiner/Jeff Jarrett b. Kurt Angle/Matt Morgan – Steiner pinned Morgan

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 26, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz

It’s the second week of Impact Wrestling and hopefully tonight we’ll have a bit more actual wrestling rather than last week when there was as much on a regular episode of Impact.  Anyway we’re also going to have some more advance in the Sting vs. Anderson feud as last week Anderson laid the champion out.  Also if I remember right we’re going to get Hogan and Foley again tonight which is rather fun.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

An opening graphic says in memory of Randy Savage.  Classy.

Sting talks about being champion and we get a clip of Anderson jumping him last week as the old Sting.

We actually start with a match, called a tag team competition by Christy.

Tommy Dreamer/Bully Ray vs. Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles

This is a street fight.  Tonight there’s going to be something called the Scorpion Sitdown which is Sting’s interview segment.  AJ is still in a neckbrace so he can barely move here.  This is a smaller one though and looks like a big pad.  We start on the floor in a big brawl.  Ray vs. Daniels is going on at ringside while Dreamer and AJ head into the crowd.  AJ manages to throw Dreamer off a small balcony and dives on him to take out both guys.  Daniels busts out some weapons in the ring and beats Ray down with them.

BME eats a boot as at least AJ is back at ringside.  Rock Bottom gets two for Ray but he walks into a Pele.  Dreamer is back in the ring also.  The neck brace comes off as Immortal takes over.  Neckbreaker hits for Ray and Dreamer adds one of his own.  Daniels is still down so this is more or less open season on AJ.  Daniels goes down again as they keep showing replays.  Daniels gets back in time to break up a spike Piledriver and kills Ray with a kendo stick.  Spike Piledriver with Daniels doing the spiking ends Dreamer at 5:00.

Rating: C. Not bad for a brawl here but how weak does Immortal look when they can’t even beat a guy with a bad neck after working on his neck?  Anyway not bad but I kind of wonder what the point is in having AJ doing an injury angle when he can wrestle through it without any real issues.  Either way, nice to start off with a match.

Hogan is here.

Time for the Scorpion Sitdown and it’s Anderson as Sting.  Nothing like a talking segment on a WRESTLING show right?  Anderson says that it’s a sitdown because he’s too old to wrestle.  Remember that he’s talking as Sting.  His guest: Disco Inferno.  He’s a guy that was with Sting throughout WCW despite them never interacting that I remember.  Disco doesn’t get why he’s here but he’ll tell Anderson the truth about Sting.

Anderson randomly shouts during Disco’s talk and Disco gets ticked off at him.  Disco says that whether you liked Sting or not, he commanded respect.  Everyone grew up loving him and that’s all there is to it.  Anderson gets all annoyed and says that Disco is here to bury Sting and that’s the entire point.  Disco wants to know why Anderson is a jerk.  He even says it into the mic and gets up.  And there’s a Mic to the head and a Mic Check to Disco.  The real Sting comes off to run Anderson off.

Eric Young, still with the TV Title, goes into a bathroom and Gunner jumps him but Young has an idea.  Young will lay down tonight and Gunner will get the TV Title belt back while Young will get his old world title back.  Young leaves and Gunner calls him an idiot.

Velvet calls out ODB, saying she’s got a little explaining to do.  Well she looks better than Desi Arnaz.  ODB comes out and says Velvet got her fired last year.  Velvet says she’s worked her way here and ODB says she’s gotten here on her back.  Since Velvet hasn’t ever even been Knockouts Champion she must not be that good in the sack.  ODB drills her and the beating is on.  Velvet more or less runs and Velvet still doesn’t get what’s going on.

Video on RVD vs. Angle tonight which they’re trying to make seem like a huge level match.

Back from a break and we recap the ending to last week’s show with Roode having his arm destroyed by Immortal.

Beer Money is in Bischoff’s office and the doctor says Roode is kind of iffy about being able to wrestle.  They have a tag title match at Slammiversary and it’s 30 days for a defense so if the titles aren’t defended the belts will be stripped.  Storm says it’s a torn pectoral so he won’t be cleared in three weeks.  Bischoff has to know by the end of next week and says he might appoint a replacement.  Bischoff suggests that the Hillbilly Jesus (Storm) go get some manure and put it on Roode’s arm to heal it.  Storm threatens Bischoff and Bischoff says do it and you’ll never work again.  The champs leave and that’s that.

We actually get a clip from Xplosion where Pope hit on D-Von’s wife and D-Von wasn’t happy with it.  Pope says D-Von needs to chill.

Angle is with Morgan in the back as I guess wrestling matters so much they’re afraid to have any of it in case it gets wasted.  Angle says watch out for Karen.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Matt Morgan

I guess the competition thing is going to be a regular thing.  Supposed to sound real perhaps?  Karen is on crutches and looks very good in blue.  Before the match Jeff grabs a chair to give Karen something to sit in.  Earl doesn’t like it and throws Karen out.  Oh wait he’s allowing Karen to sit but she has to sit at the end of the ramp.  Jeff gets a thumb to the eye very early and hits a top rope cross body for two.

That goes nowhere and it’s time for the elbows in the corner to give Morgan control.  Side slam gets two.  Carbon Footprint misses in the corner and Jeff works on the leg.  Fallaway Slam gets two as another cross body doesn’t work.  Karen comes down to ringside as Morgan gets a Michinoku Driver of all things for two.

And never mind as Karen gives him the crutch and a shot with that sets up the Stroke for only two.  Thought that was the ending.  Jeff jumps into a chokeslam but Morgan instead shifts into an atomic drop.  Carbon Footprint hits but Karen hits Hebner in the knee with the crutch.  Scott Steiner comes in and hits a Downward Spiral to Morgan and that’s good for the pin at 3:06.  Dang it I have to rate it.

Rating: D+. More or less nothing here but the nice little swerve there was pretty good as I thought the Stroke would end it.  Steiner vs. Morgan is nothing I’m fired up about seeing as it seems like a step down for Morgan as he was talking about wanting the world title.  Either way though, not a terrible match but WAY too short with way too much going on in just three minutes.

We recap Foley being revealed as Network Executive and Bischoff going after the X-Division last week.

Bischoff is in the ring and is all smiley.  Apparently Hogan had a great week with the network last week in New York as Bischoff predicted.  Here’s Hogan who is the leader of Impact Wrestling apparently.  Hogan says that the Network has given him authority to run this show.  Oh joy.  He pitched a bunch of ideas to the executives so now they think he’s a genius.  Hogan wants to talk about Bischoff for a minute because he’s proud of what Bischoff did to the X-Division.

Here’s Foley who doesn’t need an invitation apparently because he’s a network executive.  All Hogan did was tick the Network off apparently because after Hogan left, Foley explained that the X Division put it on the map and we’re going to expand it.  He’s going to go around the world finding new X-Division talent for an Ultimate X match.  Oh and Foley has power regarding PPV because they promote the PPVs.  Wouldn’t that give them control over all of the companies that advertise on Spike TV?

Hogan says Foley should do something for the X-Division tonight, like challenge for the X-Division Title.  Bischoff gets WAY too excited about that but before Foley can answer here’s Brian Kendrick and his X buddies.  He talks in his poetic speak and more or less asks for Foley’s title shot tonight.  They’re here to get rid of the reptilians that have acquired power apparently.  This was very tedious to say the least.

Winter is rubbing Angelina’s back and says that everything is about to change and they’re going to fulfill the promise they made to each other in another lifetime.  I shutter to think where this is going to go.

Winter vs. Mickie James

Non-Title here.  Tenay acknowledges that the Winter/Angelina thing goes back centuries, which makes me think this is going to get very stupid very fast.  Northern Lights Suplex gets two for Winter as she takes over.  Scratch that as Mickie gets a snapmare and a seated dropkick to set up a rana out of the corner.  Flapjack sets up a nipup and after countering the spin out Rock Bottom Mickie hits the jumping DDT for the pin at 2:18.  No rating due to shortness but this was just a step ahead of a squash.

Angelina destroys Mickie post match due to Winter having some blood on her chin.

Abyss says he’s going to destroy Kendrick tonight.  He’s reading Art of War again and has Janice with him.  Someone with long hair that we can’t see jump him.  Oh it’s Kaz and he takes Janice with him.

X-Division Title: Brian Kendrick vs. Abyss

Abyss is all banged up due to the attack by Kaz.  Kendrick dives through the ropes with a kick that kind of hits to get us going.  Abyss charges into the steps and we go into the ring.  Amazingly enough they actually reference Abyss being a former world champion and say he’s the second Grand Slam winner.  I haven’t heard them reference that reign in years.

Abyss takes over and crushes Kendrick in the corner with an avalanche.  The beatdown commences but Kendrick counters a gorilla press slam and fires off some dropkicks.  Missile dropkick puts him down for two.  Brian goes up again but gets knocked off as Abyss hits the ropes.  Black Hole Slam and we’re done at 4:13.

Rating: D+. Not much here at all as Kendrick looks like a jobber all over again.  I guess we’re waiting on some savior of the X-Division to pop up, which might be AJ or Kaz.  Either way, something tells me Abyss is going to be champion and destroy random people for a few weeks to come.  Not horrible, but really nothing here at all.

Abyss rants about the Art of War some more.

Same RVD vs. Angle video from earlier.

Angle says the main event is a big match.

TV Title: Eric Young vs. Gunner

Young has the title itself because Gunner stole back the wrong belt last week.  I guess the whole “one is black and one is red” thing is too hard to keep track of.  They reenact the Fingerpoke of Doom but Young rolls him up for the pin and the title at 32 seconds.  Whatever man, whatever.

The Jarretts come out for the main event on commentary.

Rob Van Dam vs. Kurt Angle

We also get big match intros to kill even more time.  Jeff talks about how RVD is his handpicked opponent as RVD kicks Angle to the floor.  RVD hammers away but walks into a suplex.  A snap variety gets two for Kurt and we hit a reverse grip to waste some time.  They majority of this match is spent on a split screen so we can see the Jarretts talk while the wrestlers lay around.  RVD gets his top rope kick for two.  Angle gets a slam and both guys go down.

There’s been more laying around in this match than actual wrestling.  Ankle lock goes on and RVD is thinking about tapping.  He kicks out of it but the Five Star misses.  Angle Slam actually gets the fall on the first attempt at 7:36.  Yes, this epic five star first time ever main event didn’t even make it 8 minutes and is the longest match of the night so far.  Give me a break.

Rating: C-. This was built up as being an epic match and it was about 8 minutes of them laying around pretending that this was a huge match.  The camera was on the Jarretts about half the match which isn’t helping anyone at all.  Weak main event and the proper ending to one of the worst shows I can remember in a very long time.

Overall Rating: F+. I absolutely could not stand this show.  The wrestling was bad, nothing really was advanced, and the whole wrestling matters concept was more or less thrown out completely.  This was a terribly dull show as they had forty minutes between the first two matches and twenty between the second and third.  There’s no reason to have them just talk that entire time.  The main event was just ok after all that buildup and that doesn’t make up for two hours of nonsense before it.  Terrible show with more or less nothing happening at all.  The longest match was 7:36.  Let that sink in for a bit.

Results

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles b. Bully Ray/Tommy Dreamer – Spike Piledriver to Dreamer

Jeff Jarrett b. Matt Morgan – Pin after a Downward Spiral from Scott Steiner

Mickie James b. Winter – Jumping DDT

Abyss b. Brian Kendrick – Black Hole Slam

Eric Young b. Gunner – Small Package

Kurt Angle b. Rob Van Dam – Angle Slam

Impact Wrestling
Date: May 19, 2011
Location: Impact Wrestling Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Back From The Dead

It’s the first show of a new era this week as WRESTLING MATTERS apparently.  It should be very interesting to see how the show has changed in this new world of the company emphasizing wrestling.  Also it’s time for the fallout from Sacrifice which should be interesting as we have Slammiversary set with Sting vs. Anderson for the title.  Lot to get to tonight so let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle/Chyna vs. the Jarretts on Sunday as well as the main event with some quick soundbytes from the winners.

There’s a new intro and color scheme as it’s now blue and a silver/gray.  The arena looks different too and it’s a nice change.

Here’s Immortal to open the show minus Jarrett or Hogan.  Bischoff says he and Hogan should be credited for all of the changes.  He runs down Foley, saying if it had been his decision it would have been Thumbtacks Matter instead of Wrestling.  Hogan and Foley are in New York apparently having meetings.  Immortal is in charge tonight and they’ll take care of anyone that gets in their way tonight.

Here’s Kendrick and the X guys, including Gen Me and Amazing Red.  Kendrick says that it’s odd to see a non-wrestler complaining about wrestlers get in his way.  Kendrick runs Bischoff down, talking about how he’s leeched off this business forever through backstabbing and phony friends.  Oh and Bully is fat.

Bischoff meets them in the aisle and says tonight the X Division is ending.  Kazarian is going to defend the X-Division Title against Abyss.  Red is going to get Joe and Generation Me, who are no longer fighting it seems, get Matt Hardy….and Bischoff.  He even calls them vanilla midgets.  Kendrick wants a match too, so Bischoff slaps him in the head and the brawl is on.

Fourtune minus AJ comes out and it’s the big brawl of the week.  The good guys seem to stand tall but the fight continues in the aisle.  They’re not done yet as Flair throws the jacket and they start it up again.  The X Guys hit dives on Immortal and the fight continues.  This has been going for a few minutes now so it’s a rather extended brawl.  They get split up and Flair says he wants to talk to Roode later tonight.

Sarita/Rosita/Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher/Tara

Mexican America comes out for commentary on this.  Rosita vs. Mickie to start us off as we go split screen to see the commentators.  I mention this because the new logo/scheme has what looks like blue flames or smoke and they were rapidly moving on the split screen so it was a bit disctracting.  Anyway the evildoers take over with some triple teaming but Mickie manages to tag in Tara to fight Madison.  Instead Madison runs and brings in Sarita.

Tessmacher comes in and continues to only be worth her looks.  For some reason she runs into the corer of Mexican America to hit the ropes so she gets tripled teamed also.  Madison runs from Tara some more so Tara beats up Rosita a bit.  Everything breaks down and Tara almost gets to Madison, only to send Rosita into Tara who ends Rosita with a chokebomb at 4:05.

Rating: D+. This was rather sloppy the whole time as it’s obvious that at least one of the girls is there because of how she looks in tiny shorts.  Other than that, nothing of note here at all as I guess we’re setting up Madison vs. Tara which is the logical way to go.  Hard to complain when I guess Sarita is the worst looking chick out there though.

Sting is here in his old tights and gear apparently but we only see his legs.

X-Division Title: Abyss vs. Kazarian

Bischoff gives Abyss a pep talk before the match, basically saying kill him and also quoting Sun Tzu.  Power vs. speed since the beginning as the announcers talk about how this could be the last X Division Title match ever if Abyss wins the belt.  Abyss takes him down with power and cranks on the neck but Kaz fights back, only to walk into a chokeslam attempt.  That doesn’t work and Kaz gets a springboard dropkick to take Abyss down.

Kaz cranks things up with a rana, an elbow and a legdrop, all off the ropes and resulting in a two count.  Chokeslam is countered again into a victory roll for two but Kaz gets caught in Shock Treatment to shift the momentum right back to Abyss.  Vader Bomb totally misses and may have hurt his knee.  Kaz charges into a big boot as Abyss was apparently faking and the Black Hole Slam gives Abyss the only title he’s never won at 5:05.  Tazz says the internet is burning up because of that.  Abyss quotes Sun Tzu post match.

Rating: C+. Just a David vs. Goliath match but with a nice little twist of Abyss outsmarting Kaz when he couldn’t beat him with just straight power.  I’m thinking this might actually be the beginning of the end for the division as there really isn’t much of a point to the thing at the moment.  The TV Title is fine for a midcard title and despite the whole no limits thing, it’s almost always been seen as a Cruiserweight Title.  Anyway, not a bad match but nothing of note at all.

Gunner wants his belt back.

Samoa Joe vs. Amazing Red

Red looks scared but charges anyway, only to get slammed straight down and hammered in the corner.  Red gets in a shot or two and it means nothing at all.  Musclebuster and we’re done in 47 seconds.

Joe beats on Red post match until Crimson comes down for the save.  Are he and Red still brothers?

Here’s AJ who is in a neck brace and wants to talk to Tommy Dreamer.  Here’s Dreamer in sunglasses.  Apparently Storm has a concussion from the brawl earlier.  AJ is in the brace for a few weeks because of the Piledriver on Sunday.  AJ says that this is about Dreamer wanting to have a contract and how he’s there against his will.  Dreamer interprets this as AJ saying Dreamer can’t beat him.

Dreamer talks about how he’s a veteran that doesn’t have anything handed to him and drills Dreamer, saying he sold out and that AJ is as worthless as all these fans that always want more.  The fight is on and AJ’s neck goes out again until Daniels comes out for the save.  Dreamer and Daniels brawl but Bully Ray comes out and drills AJ with the chain clothesline and Daniels is taken down by a low blow from Dreamer and a big boot from Ray.  AJ takes another Piledriver from Dreamer as we go to a break.

A fan says he’s excited.

Sting says his focus is Hogan and Bischoff still.  He’s in his traditional gear here.

The “original” Sting is seen from the back, making Tenay call shenanigans.

Here’s Kurt who says he’s in a much better mood because Karen is gone thanks to Chyna.  Karen has a broken ankle apparently but Chyna isn’t here tonight.  Angle vs. Jarrett again at Slammiversary in a #1 contenders match according to Foley it seems.  Here comes Jeff who says that this is one last time but he wants to know why Kurt gets the shot at all.  Karen shouldn’t be blamed apparently and it should all be on Kurt.  Jeff never got distracted because he’s better than Kurt.  Naturally there’s going to be a stipulation for the match at the PPV: if Jeff wins, he gets the gold medal.

They shake on it but Jeff’s music hits again.  Karen pops up through the stage like Angle does in a wheelchair.  She runs her mouth and Velvet Sky pops up behind her.  Velvet shoves Karen down the ramp and she crashes into Jeff, falling out of the chair.  Velvet’s music plays as the Jarretts regroup.

Gen Me says blood is thicker than water and they’re united tonight.

Bischoff gets a call from Hogan and tells him about the match tonight.  Apparently Hogan was successful in New York.

Back and the Jarretts complain some more.  Apparently Velvet faces Winter and Angelina tonight.

Generation Me vs. Matt Hardy/Eric Bischoff

No entrance for Gen Me.  Matt vs. Jeremy to start us off and Matt uses his size advantage to take over.  Gen Me speeds things up as is their custom and work on Matt’s arm.  Matt takes over for a bit but since it’s more or less a handicap match, Gen Me takes over again with double teaming.  Poetry in Motion to Matt and Jeremy takes him down with a spear.

Matt fights back but both guys do down.  Matt wants a tag and Bischoff freaks, allowing Jeremy to hit a frog splash to Matt’s back for two.  450 attempt eats knees as we’re told that Foley and Hogan will be here next week.  Ice Pick, that double underhook chokeout by Matt has Max out cold so Bischoff comes in for a kick and the academic pin at 6:07.

Rating: D. The match sucked and the burial/elimination of the X Division continues.  I’m not complaining, but at the same time is there a reason that on a show about the rebirth of wrestling to have Eric Bischoff get a pin?  The match itself was bad on top of that but I’ve seen worse.  The Bucks using high spots is always a plus.

Angelina is still in a trance and Winter has candles everywhere.  She says that it’ll be like it was before and kisses Angelina incredibly gently as they’re up next.

Angelina Love/Winter vs. Velvet Sky

Winter starts but Angelina is tagged in almost immediately.  Angelina still can’t be hurt apparently as she shoves Velvet into the corner and brings Winter back in.  Kick to the back gets two for Velvet.  Next week Angle and Jeff will be in the ring and pick each other’s opponents.  Jeff picked RVD apparently.  Velvet fights them both off and puts a chinlock on Angelina which gets her nowhere for the most part.

Angelina takes her down with a clothesline and next week it’s AJ/Daniels vs. Ray/Dreamer.  The implied lesbians tag in and out a lot and Velvet is in trouble.  Winter gets a spinning backbreaker and Angelina is brought back in again.  She moves all slowly and gets rolled up by Sky in a small package for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty weak as Velvet is there to look hot and yell a lot and that’s about it.  Angelina plays that zombie roll to perfection, but I wish this angle would get somewhere already as it’s been going for months and we barely know anything at all.  Weak match as again they keep things short for the Knockouts, which is probably a good idea actually.

Post match ODB returns and beats up Velvet for no apparent reason.

Tessmacher is doing a photo shoot but Eric is the photographer and doesn’t have a camera.  He shows her how to do this by stripping down to his boxers and posing.  Gunner pops up and Eric wants to talk about respect.  Gunner hammers on him and leaves as Young says good job of working together bro.

Here’s Flair to call out Robert Roode.  Flair is ticked off about giving up to end Lethal Lockdown.  Roode says that was a war, not a wrestling match.  Flair says if the shoe was on the other foot, Roode would have been put out of wrestling.  Flair rants about mentoring Beer Money and how to be a man outside the ring also when it comes to getting drunk and getting laid.  Roode is going to be a man long after Flair leaves and that it’s now his time, not Flair’s.  Flair has changed colors in a matter of seconds.

Flair wants Roode to break his shoulder again right now and Roode says it’s over.  Flair says it isn’t and slaps Roode.  Roode grabs him and throws on the armbar again but here comes Immortal.  Remember that all of Fourtune has been taken out tonight already.  They get him down with relative ease and Ray whips him with the chain.  Ray tells Abyss to get two chairs and they do something similar to hammering a nail into Roode’s arm, probably breaking it.

Sting and Old Sting are up next.

Here comes Sting, as in the real Sting.  He says that he wants to praise RVD and that he got by on the skin of his teeth last Sunday.  His focus is still on Hogan and Bischoff and taking power from them.  Less than sixty seconds after he won on Sunday here was Anderson to jump him.  There go the lights and of course it’s Anderson in the old school attire.  He gets a bat shot and a Death Drop to Sting to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. I really was disappointed in tonight’s show.  This was supposed to be TNA’s big emergence as the wrestling company and we get five matches, the longest clocking in at just over six minutes, one being a total squash and two promos to end the show.  Also, Eric Bischoff gets to pin someone.  I don’t see how this is supposed to help anything as Immortal continues to have virtually no authority and yet is pushed to the moon time after time.  Tommy Dreamer is a full fledged heel.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Anyway, weak show tonight to say the least and not a good sign for the future if this is an indication.

Results

Tara/Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James b. Rosita/Sarita/Madison Rayne – Tara pinned Rosita after a Chokebomb

Abyss b. Kazarian – Black Hole Slam

Samoa Joe b. Amazing Red – Musclebuster

Eric Bischoff/Matt Hardy b. Generation Me – Bischoff pinned Max Buck after a kick to the head

Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter – Small Package to Love

Impact
Date:  May 12, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Network’s Revenge

Tonight is a big night for TNA as we find out the identities of both Kurt Angle’s mistress and the network executive.  It should be remembered that last week Sting said a network representative would be here and not necessarily the network representative, so there’s no guarantee this ends tonight.  Oh and Sacrifice is Sunday.  I’m sure we’ll fit that in somewhere if we have time.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a shot of Hogan with his pipe, waiting for the Network representative.  Bischoff comes up and says that he needs to think this through, not beat it out of them.  They should play the game but play to win.

We get a video on the Jarretts and Angle’s mistress.  That transitions into Hogan and Bischoff going through a few possible identities of the representative.

Here are the Jarretts to open the show.  They want a truce with Kurt and say that Karen could never hurt a fly.  It’s a crime to have anyone hurt Karen apparently.  Karen says she’s a good person and has been a good ex-wife.  Everything has been for Kurt, including the restraining order against him.

Here’s Kurt who says it’s done.  After ten years of marriage you would think she’d learn to not push him.  Karen is going to wind up taking Jeff for everything he’s worth before Jeff figures that out.  There’s going to be a mixed tag at Sacrifice between the Jarretts and Angle/the mistress.  Jeff knows who the chick is apparently, despite Angle saying two weeks ago that no one knew who she is.

Miss Tessmacher/Mickie James vs. Tara/Madison Rayne

All four girls looking especially hot tonight.  Tara and Mickie start us off with Tara acting respectful towards Mickie, namely due to the possibility of getting out of her contract with Madison.  Speaking of Madison she comes in being all evil to Mickie with a kick to the head.  Tessmacher comes in and quickly gets a victory roll to Madison for the clean pin at 2:11.  Can we just look at the girls for about two more hours?

Flair goes into Hogan’s office and Hogan rants at Flair, saying he’s the Network rep.  Flair says he was out with a shoulder injury and Hogan apologizes.

A black limo is here.

Tara wants to be free from Madison.  Madison comes up and hears the end of the rant and doesn’t like it.

Tommy Dreamer doesn’t want to talk but says it’s a personal thing.  The interviewer won’t shut up and AJ pops up, also demanding answers.  Tommy says AJ is too young to understand.  AJ says he’s a grown man with three kids and thinks it’s about EV 2.0.  Dreamer still won’t answer so AJ challenges him for Sacrifice.  Dreamer backs off and AJ calls him out on it.  Tommy says maybe no one ever knew him.  He asks what would Tommy Dreamer do, and Dreamer leaves.

Sting is doing a photo shoot with the title and says his hands are full with RVD.  The network person is here apparently.

Here’s Beer Money to find out who Matt’s mystery partner is, implying that it’s Jeff Hardy.  Matt comes out quickly and talks to Roode about calling out Hogan last week.  He gets on Roode for being a worthless drunk as I begin to chuckle.  Matt runs down Canadians like Roode and says he and his partner will win at Sacrifice.

Beer Money comes out to face Matt and James takes a long drink.  He says he’s the man that would walk into a bar, punch you in the face and leave with his girl.  The partner isn’t Jeff, but rather Storm’s old partner: Chris Harris.  WWE fans might remember him as Braden Walker, the guy that was on WWECW for about three weeks.  Harris stares Beer Money down as we go to a break.

Sangriento vs. Suicide

Rematch from last week.  Suicide jumps him to start but gets taken down with relative ease.  Corkscrew plancha to the floor by Sangriento and a dropkick back in the ring take Suicide down.  Suicide fights back as the announcers talk about the identity of the mistress.  Sangriento gets the same double spin kick that Amazing Red uses in the clip from the New York house show to Jay Lethal.

I guess he’s been watching his film (and yes I know who Sangriento is for those that don’t get tongue in cheek humor).  Tornado DDT by Sangriento gets two.  Suicide takes over again for a bit but the springboard cutter from last week returns, giving Sangriento the pin at 3:50.

Rating: C. Not bad here but too short to really get going.  Not sure what the point is to having more or less the exact same match from last week but it certainly wasn’t that bad.  It’s good to see Red getting something to do at least and a quick match like this helps fill in some time so no real complaints here.

Immortal’s leaders in the form of Hogan, Bischoff and Flair come out just after the match ends.  Flair kicks Suicide in the balls and sends him to the floor.  Hogan rants about the Network representative, saying he or she needs to get out here.  The reveal is after the break.

Back and the Jarretts are in the ring also with Jeff in wrestling gear.  And the representative is Mick Foley.  He talks very quickly, saying that Hogan’s plans started to unravel March 3^rd.  Foley piefaces Bischoff and says to Hogan to go ahead and drill him if you want to.  This show is no longer about Hogan but about wrestling.  This is no longer TNA Wrestling, but is rather Impact Wrestling.  The main event is now a 25 man battle royal for the #1 contender spot.

Foley is talking faster than I’ve ever heard him talk here.  Foley brings out Angle’s mistress/partner and it’s Chyna.  Yes, that Chyna.

We recap the segment we just saw and apparently the show is now called Impact Wrestling.  Not sure if the whole name for the company is changing or not.

Foley says wrestling matters here and is very energetic.  Chyna is next to him and he tells her about the main event and wants Chyna to be where Karen is.  Not a word from her yet.  Foley mentions the vague sexual tension between them for a nice throwback line.

Anderson is ticked off about Foley denying him his title shot but he’ll get it tonight.  I assume the winner gets the shot at the PPV after Sacrifice.

Crimson vs. Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Crimson and Abyss hammer on each other as Joe chills for a bit.  And never mind as Joe hammers on both of them to take over.  Big boot and backsplash to Abyss but Crimson takes Joe down and gets a neckbreaker to Abyss.  Crimson and Joe hammer away on each other and Crimson grabs a cravate and fires in some knees.  Joe gets a powerslam but walks into the Black Hole Slam.  Crimson spears Abyss and steals the pin on Joe at 2:34.  No rating due to the length but this was fine.

Joe gets ready to jump Crimson but Abyss jumps Crimson before Joe does anything.  Joe says cool and leaves Abyss to beat on Crimson.  As Joe leaves he says you live by the sword and die by the sword.  Black Hole Slam to Crimson and Abyss’ bottom teeth are still missing from the kick by RVD.

RVD says he’ll be watching the battle royal for future information.

Battle Royal

25 people in this and more or less everyone you can think of of note in TNA is here.  Most of them are in the ring already so I’ll try to list them.  Everyone in Fourtune, Matt Hardy, Gunner, Jeff Jarrett, Bully Ray, Matt Morgan, British Invasion, Ink Inc, D-Von, Dreamer, Mexican America, Orlando Jordan, Anderson, Steiner, Angle, Eric Young, Robbie E, and I can’t figure out the 25^th.

Both British guys (Williams and Magnus) are out almost immediately due to Morgan.  Add Jordan to that list as well as Anarquia.  All four by Morgan’s hands.  Tenay says the show is now Impact Wrestling on Spike TV.  No word on if the company is still called TNA or not but I’d assume it is.  Young is on the floor but I don’t think he’s been eliminated.  Ah the 25^th is Pope.  That makes me feel better.

No eliminates for awhile now but a lot of the bigger names have come close.  Kaz slides back in as Morgan chokes on Shannon Moore.  There isn’t a ton to say in matches like these in the early going as it’s really just a lot of standing around.  There goes Neal and Shannon back to back thanks to Hernandez.  Morgan throws out his fifth guy in the form of Robbie E.

Eric keeps throwing him self over the top and bringing himself back in.  Then he throws out the TV Champion and eliminates himself.  Eric steals the TV Title and Gunner chases him out so I guess that’s Gunner’s first feud.  We take a break with that.  Back and no one seems to be gone that I can tell.  There appears to be about 15-17 people left.  Storm and Angle both save themselves.

Jarrett eliminates Kaz who might have hurt his knee.  Storm and Matt put each other out so Storm hammers on Matt a bit.  When the referees try to break the argument up Matt pulls Roode out.  Foley jumps in on commentary.  There goes Daniels and Pope is on the floor but not out, as is D-Von.  Morgan sends Hernandez out but Steiner puts out Morgan.  Ray surprises Steiner and we’re down to 8 it appears.

The final 8 are Ray, Anderson, Dreamer, Styles, Jarrett, Angle, D-Von and Pope.  Morgan and Steiner fight up the ramp while Ray pounds on Kurt’s knee.  Ray kicks D-Von in the head for old time’s sake and appears to dance a bit before kicking AJ in the head.  Dreamer is told by Ray to put AJ out.  Ray throw Angle but Kurt hangs on.  Pope fires elbows to D-Von’s head as apparently AJ vs. Dreamer is on for Sunday.

Pope goes to the apron and D-Von charges him, naturally getting caught and eliminated.  Kurt takes Pope out with a clothesline and we’re down to six as we take a break.  Back and only Ray is standing, just as everything was before the break.  Literally everyone is in the same place.  The final six are Jarrett, AJ, Ray, Angle, Anderson and Dreamer.  AJ goes off on Jarrett and Ray but Dreamer takes him down.  Ankle lock to Angle and Dreamer breaks that up also.  Dreamer manages to put AJ out of all things.  Ray puts Dreamer out for his troubles.  AJ drills Dreamer on the floor.

Anderson gets Ray to the apron but can’t get rid of him.  Angle can’t get Jarrett out and Ray makes the save.  Neckbreaker by Anderson takes Ray down and the two of them go to the floor through the ropes.  Angle vs. Jarrett alone with Angle taking over.  Karen saves Jeff from elimination but Kurt takes his head off with a clothesline.  Kurt goes after her and Jeff tosses him.

She gets in the ring as Jeff thinks he’s won but Anderson and Ray are still in it due to going through the ropes.  Chyna comes in and tosses Jeff.  Ray and Anderson both come back in and slug it out with Ray winning said battle.  Big clothesline takes Anderson down but Anderson fights back.  He can’t hit a Swanton as it eats knees.  They go to the apron but Anderson hangs on.  Ray goes for him, only to get slowly pulled out for the Anderson win at 28:10 total.

Rating: C-. Not bad here but battle royals are rather hard to grade.  Anderson winning was pretty obvious given the overcoming the odds deal but that’s fine.  This wasn’t too bad with a long build but the last six guys being in there were a big weak, especially guys like Dreamer and D-Von.  At least we have the next PPV main event set though.

Anderson talks post match, comparing himself to the Navy SEALS that took out bin Laden.  Bit of a stretch there but ok.

Sting says bring on Anderson.  RVD pops up and says not so fast as he’ll be facing Anderson.  Anderson pops up and says it can be either of them at Slammiversary.

Overall Rating: C+. This show was heavy on storyline tonight which is ok, especially when this was the culmination of some big stories.  Sacrifice actually feels like the end of a lot of things rather than just another stop, which is what TNA has been lacking lately.  Not a great show but pretty high on excitement.  The problem is that with so much time going to the main event we didn’t get to a lot of midcard stuff, but I guess that’s ok.  Pretty fun show overall and Sunday is looking good, which is a good sign.

Results

Mickie James/Miss Tessmacher b. Tara/Madison Rayne – Tessmacher pinned Rayne with a victory roll

Sangriento b. Suicide – Jumping Reverse Cutter

Crimson b. Samoa Joe and Abyss – Crimson pinned Joe after a Black Hole Slam

Mr. Anderson won a battle royal, last eliminating Bully Ray

Impact
Date: May 5, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: The Network is Coming

We’ve got two weeks before Sacrifice and things are starting to take shape before the PPV.  The main thing from last week to carry over here is the possibility of Angle’s mistress being revealed.  Aside from that though there really isn’t much to talk about for tonight’s show.  I’d assume some more matches will be officially announced for the PPV but that’s about it.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Network issues as Hogan is ticked off about the whole thing.  The episode is called The Network is Coming.  Gee that doesn’t sound familiar at all.

We open with Sting and RVD coming to the ring and see that Immortal is in the ring waiting on them.  Snow, Diamond and Brown come out to prevent the fight which the fans want to see.  Hogan says that if Sting knows something about the representative, tell him right now.  There’s going to be a representative here next week and he, no SHE will be here to talk to Hogan face to face.

Hogan tries to charge Sting and Van Dam but D’lo Brown holds Hulkster back.  That doesn’t last though as Immortal jumps the agents and the fight is on.  Fourtune comes out to even the sides and clear the ring.  Roode takes the mic and says the usual stuff about Fourtune building the company and Hogan/Bischoff cashing in on their work.  He thought he knew Hogan but this Hogan has no pride.  Roode earns his pay and puts food in his kids’ mouth.  He’s a blue collar worker and has earned what he has.  What has Hogan earned?

Roode references Jay Lethal’s recent release (called a firing here) and says that Lethal was a guy that did what he asked every single week.  I guess that means when he actually got on TV.  Roode says his name is Bobby Roode and things are going to start to change next week.  Nice to see someone get some mic time in Fourtune other than Daniels or Styles.

The Jarretts get Velvet out of the shower and say Hogan has let them issue an ultimatum and she needs to get to the ring now.

Matt Hardy says he was/is one half of the best tag teams of all time.  He’s going to give someone a call and that person is going to come and the two of them will challenge Beer Money for the tag titles.

Suicide vs. Sangriento

Suicide controls to start until Sangriento (means bloody or bloodthirsty) gets a DDT onto the apron.  And of course a random masked luchador is nothing at all like Sin Cara in the slightest.  Sin Cara is an actual superstar in Mexico as opposed to a made up character here.

Suicide hits his usual unique offense which can’t keep Sangriento down though.  Middle rope dropkick to the back of the head and a rana from the middle rope both get two for Sangriento.  Suicide fights back and tries his half breed cousin of the Angle Slam.  Sangriento counters and gets a cool looking move as he springboards off the middle rope (think a Lionsault) but goes backwards into a cutter to end this at 3:50.  Cool ending.

Rating: C. Not much of a debut here but the ending was a fairly unique move which is hard to pull off in today’s product.  Sangriento is probably going to wind up meaning nothing like the majority of the X-Division guys.  Either way though, cool move by taking a guy already on the roster (Amazing Red) and giving him something new to do.

Hogan and Bischoff try to figure out who the representative is and think it could be Flair.  Sting said the one coming next week was female but also said that it was a representative and not necessarily the representative so that’s not a plot hole.

Back with Mexican America in the ring and it’s time for their Cinco de Mayo celebration.  They talk about the history of the holiday which is in memory of the Mexican army winning a major battle.  Sarita calls in the Spanish announce team and say bring their own tequila, which they happen to have.  The team is Hector Guerrero (Eddie’s big brother) and Willie Urbina (not sure on the spelling of that).

Anarquia doesn’t like Urbina because he’s Puerto Rican and not Mexican.  They take him down and Hector isn’t happy.  Anarquia looks a lot like Chavo.  The heels threaten Hector and Ink Inc of all people come out for the save.  They say get out and hold up the flag.  I guess we’re just supposed to forget the issues they were having when Shannon was being a jerk?

Christopher Daniels/AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Gunner is being pushed as the stopper for Immortal.  Ray and Daniels start but Daniels tags out almost immediately to let AJ fight Ray but the Bully runs off to bring in Gunner.  The good guys work over Gunner until Ray interferes and we enter the tag team formula.  Mickie is defending the title against Tessmacher later tonight.  She gets a title match why exactly?

After Daniels gets beaten down for a bit it’s hot tag to AJ who cleans house, hitting the springboard forearm to Gunner.  Pele looks to set up the springboard 450 but Ray breaks it up and everything breaks down.  The fans want D-Von as Ray gets his chain.  Tommy Dreamer runs in for the save…..and piledrivers AJ for the DQ.  Tommy Dreamer has turned heel and this is a no contest instead of a DQ for no apparent reason.  Ray says good choice and Dreamer doesn’t look happy.  Match ran about 4:10.

Rating: C. Not a terrible match here but dude…..Tommy Dreamer?  So AJ is now feuding with the ECW guys?  At least they let Gunner do most of the work as he isn’t that bad in the ring.  AJ vs. Ray could be a pretty good blowoff match if they let them fight.  Other than that though, nothing of note to see here.

Back and Dreamer is MAD.  He’s wrecking everything in sight and won’t talk to anyone.  I’m guessing he wasn’t doing that because he wants to.

AJ can’t feel his fingers and they’re looking for a doctor and ice.  Fourtune thinks this is about EV 2 or something but they’re not sure.  AJ says either they get answers or Dreamer is taking a beating.

Matt is on the phone and Ray comes up.  Ray wants to know how “he” is doing and Matt says good.  Ray says Dreamer did what he has to do to keep himself in this company.  That makes things seem a bit better.  It’s gotten so bad for Immortal they have to get TOMMY DREAMER to help them?

The Jarretts and Velvet are up next.

Winter gives pills to Angelina and says soon she won’t need them anymore.  Winter talks about their souls connecting when they first met which Angelina doesn’t remember.  She’s crossed eons of time to find her again and Angelina will remember soon.  She kisses Angelina on the cheek and says come with her.  This might not end well.

Here are the Jarretts for their weekly continuance of this feud that will not die.  They call out Velvet and say that every Knockout has been a champion other than her.  I guess the tag titles don’t mean anything.  More accusations are made by the Karen who says that Velvet is sleeping with Kurt to get herself noticed.  Velvet denies it and makes fun of Karen like last week.  She’s never been champion but that’s her goal now.  Velvet says she has business to take care of so Karen makes more fun of her for it and somehow makes Winter/Angelina vs. Velvet.

Winter and Angelina come out but before we get going here’s Kurt for more talking.  Apparently the Network has made the main event a mixed handicap match with Angle/Velvet vs. Jarrett/Angelina/Winter.  Is there anyone in TNA that can’t make matches?

Bischoff is ticked off in the back when Terry and Murphy come up and say they can help.  Eric is all ticked off and makes them fight with the loser leaving TNA.

Back and Crimson is looking for Joe with a metal object in hand.

Rob Terry vs. Murphy

They slug it out to start and a clothesline doesn’t really hurt either guy.  Loser leaves TNA/Immortal remember.  Murphy takes over until Terry fires back with raw power to a moderate face pop.  Other than that the crowd doesn’t seem to care.  Half belly to back suplex/half chokeslam by Murphy and he goes up top and a top rope clothesline gets two.  The announcers say loser leaves Immortal so I’m not sure which it is here.  Terry more or less Hulks Up and hits a modified Jackhammer to end this at 3:20.

Rating: D. So?  Really, so what?  I guess at the same time this gets rid of Murphy so that helps a bit.  Nothing of note here as it was just a quick battle of power.  There’s nothing to say here but I guess it lets Terry, who has more potential than Murphy, stick around and have something to do.

Hogan says both of them are out of Immortal.  Ok then.  He and Bischoff keep brainstorming on who the network person could be as they’re running out of time.

Joe is just getting here an hour and 22 minutes into the show.  Crimson pops up with a sledgehammer and says the next time someone is beating Joe down he’ll turn his head just like Joe did last week.  Joe says he never asked for help.  Crimson says stay out of his way or else.  Joe wants to know if that’s a threat and Crimson says take it however you want to.

Knockouts Title: Miss Tessmacher vs. Mickie James

Tessmacher takes the glasses off and bends over to pick them up.  Well it’s not like she’s here for her in ring abilities.  Basic stuff here as Tessmacher does gymnast stuff while Mickie walks her through the match.  Victory Roll gets two for Tessmacher and she fires the worst enziguri I’ve ever seen for two.  Off to the arm by Tessmacher for a bit before Mickie makes her comeback with a bunch of clotheslines.  Neckbreaker sets up a terrible looking jumping DDT to end it at 3:52.

Rating: D. Match sucked, girls were hot.  That sums up the entire match as that’s the entire reason Tessmacher was out there.  Mickie can’t really do much with this kind of opponent, especially with her shoulder not being 100% still.  I can’t imagine what Tessmacher is going to do but she looks good so I can’t complain that much.

Madison and Tara come out and Madison wants a rematch for the title.  Mickie says cool but Tara’s freedom is on the line too.

Brian Kendrick, Generation Me and Amazing Red are ticked off about Lethal being fired and are going to see Bischoff about it.

The aforementioned X guys come up to Eric who is getting coffee.  They want to know what they have to do to get a shot.  Eric says he cares about them and says their solution is to grow about a foot and a half and throws coffee on Kendrick.  So we’re using the Eddie Guerrero situation in WCW as a storyline now?

We hear from Sting and RVD about the match at Sacrifice.  RVD says he deserves a title shot and Sting says he respects Van Dam.  Anything can happen there.  Somehow that took three minutes to say.

Winter/Angelina Love/Jeff Jarrett vs. Velvet Sky/Kurt Angle

This actually gets big match introductions including a slow bell ring.  Winter vs. Velvet to start us off and it’s off to Angelina quickly.  Nothing Velvet does hurts her until a spear puts Angelina down.  Velvet gets in Karen’s face which lets Angelina get up and get a boot in as we take a break.  Back with Angelina working on Velvet some more and a double team suplex takes Sky down again.

Off to the guys and Jarrett blocks the Angle Slam with an armdrag to take over.  Sunset flip is rolled through into the ankle lock and Jarrett kind of taps but it doesn’t count.  Karen tries to cheat and Kurt pulls her in as he pulls Jeff out from the ropes.  Velvet tags herself in to get at Karen but the other chicks beat her down before Karen gets hurt.  Double DDT takes the two chicks down and actually gets the pin on Winter at 8:15 including commercial.

Rating: D. Another weak match here as nothing of note happens as we’re still waiting to get to the point with the reveal of the chick that Angle has so that we can set up a mixed tag or whatever to continue this already far too long feud.  Nothing special here at all and a really weak main event.

Kurt says the chosen one is here next week and isn’t Velvet.

Hogan and Bischoff are still talking about the network guy and their car has “You’re Next” spraypainted on it.  The X guys are behind it and apparently did it with even Eric saying it’s not Goldberg.

Overall Rating: D. Not the worst show TNA has ever done but at the same time there was a lot of stuff here that bored me to death.  The Jarretts/Velvet stuff is going nowhere really and seems like it’s just padding before we get to something.  Again they’re setting up for an Impact rather than the PPV which usually makes for a really lackluster PPV, which is never a good thing.  Everything is kind of in neutral at this point as we wait for the reveal of a network executive, who I’m assuming is the big one next week, even though they left a door open to continue it.  Weak show here after a string of good ones.

Results

Sangriento b. Suicide – Springboard Cutter

AJ Styles/Daniels vs. Bully Ray/Gunner went to a no contest when Tommy Dreamer interfered

Rob Terry b. Murphy – Spinebuster

Mickie James b. Miss Tessmacher – Jumping DDT

Kurt Angle/Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love/Winter/Jeff Jarrett – Sky pinned Winter after a DDT

Impact
Date: April 28, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Queen Clouseau

Impact has had two straight decent if not good shows in a row.  After last Monday’s rather weak draft show, maybe is their chance to have a couple straight weeks in a row better than Raw.  I’d expect more of the same kind of build to Sacrifice as we saw last week, which resulted in some decent stuff.  That being said, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Angle vs. Jarretts thing last week and Angle talking about his mistress that will hurt Karen for him.  Also we get a clip of the Sting vs. Hogan stuff from last week with the Network.

The Jarretts come out with all the women in the ring, including some women from catering.  This is to find out who the mistress is.  Karen has an umbrella to avoids falling feces.  Karen starts with an older lady from catering.  She says the catering woman is too nice to Kurt by trying to get to him through his stomach.  The girl says really?  She has pot roast to make.  Maybe Jeff can take some tips from Jeff on how to flip burgers.  Karen says Taco Tuesday sucks which ticks off Sarita and Rosita in a funny bit.

The catering lady leaves so Karen goes after Jolene the seamstress.  Mickie isn’t here by the way.  Jolene says it’s her job to run her hands over Kurt to find out his measurements.  Karen throws her out too and moves on to Tessmacher.  She points out that Tessmacher got to the building at the same time as Angle.  “You mean at our jobs?”  Karen asks about being at the gym with Kurt.  “You mean like with the other 25 wrestlers?”  These are the same questions the cops asked Goldberg when he was accused of stalking Liz on the night of the Fingerpoke of Doom.

Time for some racial stereotype jokes for Sarita and Rosita who she calls hot and spicy and rice and beans.  Sarita curses in Spanish and says they’re MEXICAN America, not Americans.  They leave also as it’s off to Madison and Tara.  The two of them and Angle are all former TNA champions remember.  Madison says Tara would lay down for Kurt because she’s a dirty sl**.  Tara spits on Madison and Madison implies Tara would try to sleep with Jeff.

That leaves Velvet as Winter and Angelina aren’t here either.  Karen says that Velvet is at the end of her rope so she’s trying to get on Kurt’s.  Karen implies Velvet is a lacking in a few morals and Kurt has to save Karen from a big slap.  Velvet slaps Kurt and the catfight is on.  Here come Winter and Angelina as Angelina beats up Velvet as the Jarretts leave.  Winter tells So Cal Val to ring the bell as this is a match apparently.

Angelina Love vs. Velvet Sky

Angelina is controlling early as we get a referee and take a break.  Back with Angelina choking away in the corner.  She’s still in the trance as she dominates.  This is a very slow paced match as Angelina has to show no emotion at all which is a decent character twist but it causes some boring matches.

Off to a chinlock for a bit which goes nowhere.  Velvet hammers away but there’s no response from Angelina.  Love chokes away and pounds on Velvet as this keeps starting and stopping.  Velvet fires back with some facecrushers to the knee which the camera is able to cut away from in time to keep from seeing them miss the knee by a foot.  Winter interferes though, allowing the Botox Injection (Bicycle Kick) to set up a choke to end this at 10:20.

Rating: D-. This was one of the worst female matches I’ve seen in a very long time.  It went WAY too long and the moves were missing left and right.  Angelina as a zombie is a cool character twist but at the same time they need something a bit different than the whole stand around, throw a punch every ten seconds and use Winter’s finisher to end this.  Wasn’t impressed at all.

Anderson gets here 26 minutes into the show in a big truck.  He wants his title shot.

Back with Matt Morgan looking for Steiner.  Has he been walking around ranting for half an hour?

Anarquia vs. Chris Sabin

Christy Hemme is announcer tonight who is definitely an upgrade from Jeremy Borash visually.  Anarquia says that next week we’re celebrating Cinco de Mayo.  Sabin takes over quickly to start and gets something resembling a springboard double axe but he injures his knee on it.  The replay shows that the knee bent in a way it wasn’t supposed to at all.  A small package ends this at 1:21.  Mexican America sets for the beatdown but ALEX SHELLEY returns for the save.  If that’s a fake knee injury I’m rather impressed as the replay looked like his knee legit bent the wrong way.

Steiner is playing with a kids golf toy and says he jumped Morgan because he was there.  Lots of censored words here as Steiner says he’d shoot himself if he had Morgan’s DNA.  If Morgan is looking for him he’s not a hard man to find.

Back with Morgan finding Steiner who runs off.  Morgan chases after him and Steiner jumps him and takes over in the war of alliteration.  Morgan gets choked with a stick of some sort and lots more words are censored.  Morgan fights back and chokes him with his boot.  This is your weekly big brawl backstage.  Steiner says he’s sorry but is thrown into a well placed refrigerator.

Sting goes up to Anerson’s truck in the back and pulls out the bat.  Faster than you can say “Mr. Borden you have the right to remain silent”, Sting becomes a vandal on national TV.  The fans cheer for this.  Sting starts to leave but climbs up on top of the truck and hammers away some more.  The lesson to be learned here: use public transportation.

Daniels vs. Gunner for the TV Title next.

TV Title: Gunner vs. Daniels

Gunner is the ace in the hole for Immortal apparently.  Daniels uses his riveting style of strikes to take over but Gunner fires back with basic heel power offense.  Crucifix gets two for Daniels as he strikes even more.  Gordbuster (with Daniels landing on his head) gets two.  Daniels shouts GIVE ME YOUR BEST and comes back with, you guessed it, more strikes.  A running STO takes Gunner down as does a cross arm front slam off the top.  Release Rock Bottom by Daniels sets up the BME but Gunner moves.  Daniels goes face first into the post and an F5 gives Gunner the clean pin at 6:05.

Rating: C-. Not bad here and you can’t say they’re not pushing someone here.  Gunner is something to keep an eye on as he looks good and isn’t bad in the ring.  Daniels is apparently a midcard jobber already which doesn’t really shock me at all as that tends to be where he winds up.  Nothing special here at all.

Here’s Sting who talks about how he’s trying to get rid of Hogan and Bischoff but Anderson won’t leave him alone.  He calls out Anderson who has a bat in hand.  Anderson asks point blank if Sting bashed out all the windows in his truck.  Sting says he didn’t do it.  Anderson: did you do it?  Sting: No.  Anderson: did you do it?  Sting: Yes.  Anderson pulls the bat back and says he’ll get it replaced because he’s rich.

Anderson promises to one-up Sting every time with these tricks.  Since Sting has the power to pick his own opponents, Sting can make this end by picking Anderson for his title shot.  Anderson wants it tonight but here’s RVD to cut him off.  Van Dam says he’s glad Sting is being straight up with him and do whatever you have to do to get rid of Anderson.  Sting says ok let’s do it tonight.

Here’s Hogan who says he loves to see Sting handing out title shots.  If Sting wants a fight then he’ll get it.  Hogan makes it a three way, adding in Bully Ray.  Oh dear.  Sting looks like he’d dead.

Joe talks about Crimson and liking his style with sticking Janice in the back of Abyss.  Joe says the winning streaks they had aren’t the same because Crimson hasn’t been tested.

Crimson vs. Samoa Joe

We hear about Joe being undefeated for 18 months which was eventually broken by Angle.  Crimson takes over to start and locks on a Cravate.  Joe fires back and his strikes, including an enziguri for two.  Nice overhead suplex by Crimson and a neckbreaker get two.  Another enziguri misses for Joe so Crimson tries a suplex.  The key word being try as Joe counters with the power of fat.

They slug it out and Crimson runs into the release Rock Bottom.  We hit the floor and Abyss runs in for the DQ, drilling Crimson at 2:58.  Match was good while it lasted.  Joe looks at Abyss and walks off.  The match is called a no contest, despite Crimson getting jumped.  Shouldn’t that be a DQ win for Crimson?  Black Hole Slam leaves Crimson laying.

Anderson says he doesn’t want a three way but he’ll take it anyway if it’s all he can get.  More censored words here as I guess TNA isn’t PG.

Angle says that Karen isn’t even close with her guesses.  The mistress might be here next week.  It’s no one anyone knows apparently.

Here’s Mickie who says her goal is to be the best women’s wrestler ever.  She dedicates the win to the fans and says it’s because of the fans that the roster can come out here and live their dreams.  Short and to the point.

Ray is talking to Abyss and says Ray being champion would tick off the wrestling world.  He’d trade in his 23 tag titles for one reign with it.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Sting vs. Bully Ray

Borash does the intro here.  We get big match intros to kill some time.  Sting goes after Anderson to start as Ray chills in the corner.  The announcers play up Sting defending the title a lot recently so he might be a bit tired here.  Ray jumps in and gets a side slam for two on Sting.  We hit the standard three way formula as one guy dominates and gets a pin attempt on another while the third guy saves, then another guy takes over.  Ray pulls Anderson off the top as we take a break.

Back and all three guys are in the same place meaning we missed nothing during the break.  Anderson and Ray slug it out with Anderson going down via an elbow.  Sting finally gets up and takes down both guys.  Stinger Splash to Anderson and Sting avoids a charging Ray.  Down goes the referee as Ray pulls the referee into Sting’s path.  Ray picks up the pipe and pops Sting in the ribs with it, saying that was for Hogan.  AJ comes in for the save and Sting gets a shot with the pipe to Ray for the pin at 11:35 total which was probably about 8:00 taking out the commercial.

Rating: C+. Not a terrible match here but three ways are hard to pull off when you have Bully Ray running the majority of the match.  This was designed to set up Anderson saying he still hasn’t gotten his title shot, meaning more of the same for the coming weeks.  Not bad, but really nothing we haven’t seen a bunch of times.

Anderson has the pipe as we go to a break.

Ray says AJ had no business being there.  Now he’s cost Ray a title so AJ has to sleep with an eye open.  Next time it’s concrete, not a table.  Ray threatens AJ’s family and says AJ shouldn’t be here next week.  AJ can’t hurt him because he’s a WARRIOR.

AJ says Ray will pay.

Scott Steiner says he beat up Morgan and that Morgan is half of the man Steiner is.  He makes fun of Morgan for being a basketball player.  Next week Steiner will get him.

The Jarretts say this has gone on too far.  Preach it brothers!

Velvet complains about Karen and Angelina.

Karen says she doesn’t have any enemies so she doesn’t know who Kurt could have.  And that’s it.  No mention of Anderson and the pipe again at all.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t as good as what TNA has had for the past few weeks but it wasn’t anything too bad.  A lack of Hogan and Bischoff helped this a lot I think as Hogan was only here for a quick promo about Ray and Bischoff wasn’t here tonight.  The matches they’re going with for Sacrifice are pretty clear so I’d expect the card to get a lot more filled out in the next week with official announcements.  Not a terrible show, but a slight step down from the last few weeks.

Results

Angelina Love b. Velvet Sky – Choke Out

Anarquia b. Chris Sabin – Small Package

Gunner b. Christopher Daniels – F5

Samoa Joe vs. Crimson went to a no contest when Abyss interfered

Sting b. Bully Ray and Mr. Anderson – Sting pinned Ray after a shot with a steel pipe

Impact
Date: April 21, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Two Horses for Sister Karen

We’re past Lockdown now which means we can move on from some of the stuff we had been building to.  Sting is still world champion and AJ is back.  Not a lot really changed at the PPV which is kind of odd but it is what it is.  Anyway, tonight we begin the road to Sacrifice which doesn’t quite have the same ring to it as Road to Lockdown.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Lockdown including all three major matches.  Jarrett vs. Angle resulted in multiple injuries.  Why do I have a feeling this feud is going to continue?  Karen says it’s over.  We also recap Lethal Lockdown with AJ’s return after…..17 days of being gone.  Also Sting wants to fight Hogan.

Cue AJ to open the show, repelling down from the ceiling into a cage full of weapons.  He talks about Bully Ray and his big return at Lockdown.  The only reason AJ was there was to get his revenge but he’s not done.  He wants Ray in the cage tonight.  AJ rips off his shirt and is ready to fight.  Here’s Ray for his reply.

Ray talks about putting AJ in a hospital for a month.  Uh….not quite.  Ray says that he’ll do it again and do it even worse this time.  Then he’ll go AJ’s house and take care of his wife and kids.  The wife part doesn’t sound that bad apparently.  AJ is waiting in the ring instead of going after Ray for some reason, perhaps due to not wanting to be jumped by Immortal.  Rey comes to the cage but stops early.  Ray has nothing left to prove since he’s already taken AJ out once.

He turns to leave but Daniels jumps the Bully in the aisle.  Daniels throws Ray into the cage and the beatdown is on.  Ray is sent into the cage a few times and takes a Pele to put him down.  Big trashcan shot to the head and Ray is down.  Gunner comes out to try to make the save but is picked off by Daniels.  They fight up the ramp and AJ puts Ray on the table.  Is the rest of Immortal just busy or something?  Ray has a BIG knot on his forehead.  With Ray on the table, AJ goes to the top of the cage, only for Ray to get off the table and head out the door.

We recap Lethal Lockdown and are told that Flair had a torn rotator cuff due to the armbar by Roode.  He’s been hurt for awhile so that’s the angle to get him off TV.  That’s probably the best thing for him really.

Rob Terry and Murphy come out to the cage and run off the guys clearing out the weapons.  They’re here to get payback on Beer Money for hurting Flair so they’re going to take the tag titles right now.  Beer Money comes out and says cool.  The match starts after the break.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Murphy/Rob Terry

The match has started during the break apparently as Roode is in trouble when we come back.  Terry gets a World’s Strongest Slam for two.  There are weapons hanging around the ring as well.  Off to Murphy who works on the back a bit more.  Terry sends him into the cage and a clothesline gets two.  Roode finally gets in a shot and both guys are down.

Hot tag to Storm who hammers away on both guys.  Codebreaker takes Murphy down as does a DDT and superkick to Terry.  Everything breaks down and the AA Spinebuster to Terry puts him down.  Double suplex to Murphy and it’s time for a double taunt.  DWI ends Terry at 4:03 shown.

Rating: C-. Run of the mill throwaway tag match here but Beer Money looked good.  It also advances Immortal vs. Fourtune which helps a bit.  Beer Money is in desperate need of challengers at this point and with various teams being dismantled they need to find some new ones very quickly.

The Jarretts take a carriage ride and Jeff praises Karen a lot.  It’s her night apparently.  Since Jeff is King of the Mountain, she gets crowned Queen of the Mountain tonight.  This is going to trump the royal wedding apparently.  We look at the horses which I guess is what the episode title is referencing.

Hogan is on his way to the ring, pipe in hand.

Here’s Hogan after a break.  He says he’s awesome and wants RVD here now.  Hogan says everyone knows RVD is a few fries short of a Happy Meal.  Not quite as 90s as bad mamma jamma but close.  RVD asks if Hogan remembers the time before he was a heel.  He turned his back on everyone for ratings though.  Hogan says nothing has changed and RVD says now everyone wishes Hogan would just go away.

RVD says he accomplished everything he’s accomplished with respect.  I’m not touching that one.  A leg drop isn’t enough anymore because things have changed, but RVD won’t.  Hogan says RVD has always been a big fish in a small pond.  Uh….what?  As long as Hogan is around, RVD will only be in the midcard apparently.

Cue Sting who says he invited himself.  RVD is a main eventer apparently because he’ll be in the main event at Sacrifice thanks to the Network.  Hogan: “Are you high too Stinger?  Because if you are give me some!”  Apparently the Network says that Sting gets to pick his opponents now.  Hogan says he runs the show but Sting says the executives are coming soon.  Hogan says RVD has a problem tonight against Abyss with Hogan in Abyss’ corner.  Also Sting vs. Matt Hardy as a chance for revenge for Matt’s brother.  No word on if the main event is a title match.

Kurt is looking for the Jarretts and someone saw them in the parking lot.

Madison and Tara argue in the back because it’s apparently Tara’s fault Madison lost the title.  There’s a Knockouts Tag Title match tonight also.

Eric is feeding the horses which he names Mongo and Sid, apparently the best Horsemen of all time.  I give up.  Young is feeding them beans.  Angle says go get some buckets.  Kurt has evil ideas about buckets apparently.

Knockouts Tag Titles: Sarita/Rosita vs. Madison Rayne/Tara

Matt vs. Sting is for the title apparently.  Mexican America looks like they want to let the flag come down but it doesn’t show up.  Anarquia runs down America a bit.  Ah there’s the flag.  The match starts after the break.  Just like earlier we come back with the match in progress.  Tara slaps Madison on the arm to tag her and they almost come to blows.  Sarita dances and hits a dropkick.

Madison slams her into the mat and adds a big boot so she can yell at both chicks again.  Now she yells at Tara.  Some of you might be noticing a pattern here.  The guys distract the referee so Rosita can throw Madison into a clothesline to end this at 1:54 shown.  Yes, Madison kept the Knockout Title for 6 months and here she loses to a clothesline.  Too short to grade.

Time for Karen to be crowned.  Jeff talks about how awesome Karen is for awhile.  They’re both in pure white too.  She’s officially the Queen of the Mountain.  And of course there’s manure in the crown.  Kurt comes out and hits an Angle Slam on Jarrett to a chair.  Angle says he has a mistress that will hurt Karen for him and she’ll be here soon.

Hogan gives Abyss a pep talk in the back.  Hogan goes over to Anderson and asks if Anderson knows who the Network person is.  Anderson makes fun of Hogan, saying that this has to be a rib.  Hogan says Anderson is the only person that he hates in wrestling and he hates being in the same room with him.  Then why does Hogan keep going to talk to him?  Hogan says if this was about 10 years ago this would end differently for Anderson.  Anderson says he’s bored so he has to go annoy someone else.

Back and we recap what we just saw.  The manure came from the ceiling, not out of the crown.  I thought there was a lot of it to fit in the crown.

Abyss vs. Rob Van Dam

They start the brawl almost immediately and Abyss goes down.  Big boot puts RVD down and we hit the neck crank almost immediately.  This is far more of a brawl than a match which is what it should be.  RVD lands a kick which apparently knocked out two of Abyss’ teeth.  RVD makes his comeback and Hogan distracts the referee.  It’s a ruse though for him to slide the pipe in to Abyss who pops Van Dam in the ribs with it.  Black Hole Slam ends this at 3:51.

Rating: C. Just a quick match here to set up the post match stuff.  I believe this is the first time since the attack with Janice in the fall/summer of last year but I’m not sure.  Either way, nothing too bad here but it was way too short to be great.  Granted if it hadn’t been we couldn’t have shown Karen having horse manure dropped on her head again so they clearly made the right choice.

Hogan and Abyss set to attack RVD but Crimson makes the save.

Sting says he can’t wait to wrestle because that’s what he does.

Matt has Jeff’s title belt and we reference him a bit.  Matt is COLD BLOODED!

Here’s Matt Morgan to talk about wanting the world title.  He’s tired of waiting and wants the title right now.  Cue Scott Steiner of all people.  He talks about Morgan being the DNA of TNA.  If Steiner had Morgan’s DNA he’d kill himself then hang himself.  The line for world title shots starts behind Steiner apparently.  Steiner says Morgan is beneath him, just like Morgan’s girlfriend was last night.

Morgan says Steiner was an inspiration to him and talks about Steiner bringing athleticism back to this art form.  Don’t misinterpret the respect for weakness though because there’s nothing weak on him.  They make the obvious match.  They shake hands and Steiner kicks him low.  Steiner Recliner goes on and Morgan is left laying.

Tessmacher is back.  Ok then.

Velvet and Winter have their usual moment of the week.  Velvet is going to go to the authorities with this.  Angelina destroys her.

TNA World Title: Matt Hardy vs. Sting

Matt has Jeff’s world title, making it the third world title belt currently being worn by someone in TNA.  Immortal is waiting on Sting in the aisle but Fourtune runs out for the save.  Sting never got touched if that’s not clear.  As Sting gets in the ring, Gunner gets a shot to the knee with a pipe.  Matt takes over on a one legged Sting and a second rope leg drop gets two.

Moonsault misses though as Sting manages to roll out of the way.  Scorpion is attempted but Matt kicks him off at the last second so he can go after the knee again.  Chop block gets two.  We take a break with Sting avoiding an elbow drop.  Back with Matt working over Sting who is in the t-shirt again this week.  The injured leg has changed to the right one now but I guess left and right is hard to keep track of.  Back to the left one now.  Sting makes a comeback but misses the Splash.  Hot shot into snake eyes sets up the Scorpion Death Drop to keep Sting’s title at 9:30 total.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match here for the most part as Matt was just a midcard guy getting a title shot.  I like that actually as it allows you to have both guys lose nothing.  Sting beats a guy he’s supposed to beat and Matt loses nothing because he shouldn’t beat Sting.  The leg work stuff was fine too as it added a little story to the match.  Not bad at all here which was a nice surprise.

Anderson comes out and hits Mic Checks on both guys, saying to Sting that he’s not going away yet.

Karen FREAKS over the Angle thing and yells at Jeff even though he can barely move.  Jeff wants to know how many times he has to beat Angle.  Karen is REALLY annoying here, which she’s supposed to be.

Hogan says Anderson is done.  He says the Network is coming at him like a double fisted kangaroo.  Has he been chilling with JR or something?

Anderson says they had that coming to them.

Sting says who cares about whatever happens as all that matters is what Anderson did.  He wants revenge.

Overall Rating: C. I liked this again for the most part.  They were kind of in a holding pattern here which is perfectly fine.  Something that you notice about TNA is that there are a lot of people that miss the show some weeks because of a lack of time to fit everyone in, such as Mickie, Pope and Joe.  That’s not a bad thing as they do what they have to do with just two hours a week but it’s something that becomes a bit of an issue as it can get hard to keep up with stories.

No Bischoff this week which helped a lot.  Too many authority figures hurts things a lot and that’s a problem TNA needs to address.  You have Hogan, Bischoff and the Network plus various people making matches at a whim it seems.  Sting vs. Van Dam is fine for a PPV main event and it helps a lot here to see a random world title match that made a bit of sense.  More wrestling please though.

Results

Beer Money b. Rob Terry/Murphy – DWI to Terry

Rosita/Sarita b. Madison Rayne/Tara – Clothesline to Rayne

Abyss b. Rob Van Dam – Black Hole Slam

Sting b. Matt Hardy – Scorpion Death Drop

Impact
Date: April 14, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Hogan’s Law

It’s the final show before Lockdown and most of the card is set.  Tonight is likely going to be just the final push to the show which is standard operating procedure.  We’ll also likely see Hogan and Immortal trying to go after Anderson for him double crossing them last week and also more development in the three way feud for the world title.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the three way feud stuff from last week, including Anderson being the referee for the non-title main event.  The most important thing though is Anderson screwing over Hogan and Immortal and Hogan being furious.

Here’s Immortal in full force to open the show.  Gunner has the TV Title in his teeth.  Hogan says there’s nothing but top level talent here but he wants to get rid of the strength of rotten garbage.  He calls out Anderson and here he comes.  Wow Anderson looks really skinny here for some reason.  Hogan says that he’s tired of Anderson doing things the hard way and he’s going to make an example out of him.

Anderson goes off on Immortal, talking about how they’re all just riding their coattails and no one respects Hogan.  Especially Bischoff who made his entire career off of Hogan.  Wow that’s cutting a bit close.  Anderson sets to say his line and Hogan I think slaps him down and the beating is on.  With Immortal holding him in place, Hogan gets in Anderson’s face and says he’s going to take Anderson out tonight, because he’s “the baddest mamma jamma in this place.”  Anderson spits in Ray’s face and gets drilled by the Bully.

Velvet yells at Winter and wants to know what Winter has done to her.  Winter says that Angelina can make her own decisions.  Velvet says she’s going to call Angelina out herself and if it’s not accepted she’ll come drag Angelina out there herself.

Back with Immortal celebrating but Bischoff is a bit upset.  He just got a call from the Network and they want a best of 3 series between Immortal and Fourtune with the winner getting an advantage in the Lethal Lockdown match on Sunday.  Hogan says Bischoff was supposed to take care of the Network and gets on him about it.

Jesse Neal vs. Douglas Williams vs. Crimson vs. Orlando Jordan

Winner gets….a win I guess.  All of the partners are at ringside and Moore gets after Steiner.  Orlando looks to be in a purple dress for lack of a better term.  Neal vs. Williams to start but the British dude tags in Jordan quickly.  Side slam gets two and it’s off to Crimson vs. Neal.  T-Bone suplex gets two but Neal hits his spear on Crimson.  Moore keeps making fun of Steiner and distracting Neal.  Moore finally pushes him and the fight is on.  Steiner goes out to help him so we’re down to a three way.

Crimson goes off to help but here’s Abyss to jump Crimson.  Magnus and Young fight on the floor as Abyss rips up the railing.  Chokeslam onto the guardrail leaves Crimson laying as the match is down to Jordan vs. Williams for all intents and purposes.  Jordan grinds on Williams and gets a clothesline for two.  Young and Magnus come in which goes nowhere as Jordan hits something like Cross Rhodes (called the Gender Bender) to end it at 3:35.

Rating: D. Considering the fact that about seventy five percent of this match was spent on the stuff outside and what you saw in the ring was nothing special at all, what are you supposed to say here?  Weak match to build to a match that really shouldn’t be in a cage.  It’s always a problem with Lockdown but rarely a big one.  Weak match though.

Bully Ray comes in to tell RVD that Hogan is going to make him an offer where the grass is greener and there are fewer seeds.  I don’t get weed jokes but I guess that makes sense.

Matt Hardy vs. Kazarian

This is match #1 in the aforementioned best of three series.  Team Immortal is here with Matt.  The series is for the initial advantage in Lethal Lockdown.  Fourtune comes out with Kaz but Hebner sends them away and does the same to Immortal.  Flair freaks out and wants to fight Hebner.  Kaz grabs some rollups to start but only gets two on both.  Kaz charges but is sent to the apron where Matt kicks the rope for a low blow on the way back in.

Neckbreaker gets two as they’re moving rather quickly out there.  I guess Matt is moving due to the lack of dreads out there.  Matt focuses on the neck of Kaz, hitting the slingshot into the middle rope for two.  Later we get Storm vs. Abyss and Roode vs. Flair.  Cravate works on the neck even more but the Twist of Hate is reversed into a backslide for two.  Side Effect doesn’t work and Kaz grabs a pinning combination for another two.

Side Effect gets two and there’s another one.  Matt goes up but misses a moonsault to give Kaz a breather.  Forearm by Kazarian and here’s the comeback.  Hogan is going to force Anderson to run the Immortal gauntlet.  Springboard legdrop gets two for Kaz and Fade to Black (called Kryptonite Crunch by Taz) is reversed.  Missile dropkick gets two as Matt gets his foot on the rope.  They go to the corner and Matt shoves Hebner into the ropes, allowing him to grab Kaz in a double underhook bodyscissors hold for the pass out/submission.  Hard to tell but the hold is called the Ice Pick and it ends this at 5:16.

Rating: B-. I liked this actually.  They were moving out there and we got a lot of near falls and close finishes.  I’m really not sure what the point is in having the X Champion lose clean like that and get in next to no offense other than a quick flurry but he’s a Hardy so I guess he has to be made to look strong.  Pretty decent match here.

Madison is upset about something and Tara says just get it over with.

Back with Madison and Tara in the ring.  Madison says she hasn’t been able to sleep for a week over what happened last week.  She would have done something different: she would have backed up and run her over again.  Tara doesn’t like this that much.  Then Madison would have slapped Tara for questioning here.  Tara is getting too comfortable in her role so Madison reminds her that she works for Madison.  If Tara doesn’t chill, she’s going to be back selling lip gloss.

Tara has something to say but Mickie comes out instead.  She’s in a sling and has a separated shoulder.  TNA needs to really stop having Titantron videos playing during promos as they’re really distracting.  Mickie goes nuts and says she’s going to put Madison through more pain on Sunday than Mickie went through.  Sunday she’s going to take Madison out and get back at her for the last six months.  Very solid and intense promos here.

Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero/Hernandez vs. Matt Morgan/Samoa Joe/Kurt Angle

Always a good sign to throw feuds into one match.  It’s the best possible way to get a bunch of them built at once and works almost every time.  That wasn’t sarcasm if it sounded like it.  Jarrett and Angle start us off here which is rather surprising.  Jarrett runs and tags in Hernandez maybe 10 seconds in.  We take a break after about 15 seconds.

Back with Morgan throwing the rapid fire elbows to Pope’s head in the corner.  Morgan loads up the Carbon Footprint but Pope takes the leg out and Morgan is in trouble.  Off to Hernandez who hammers away but a discus clothesline sends Morgan down and brings in Kurt.  Kurt is taken down by a simple boot to the ribs and Hernandez goes up top.  You don’t go up top against Kurt and Angle gets the running belly to belly to send Hernandez down.

Off to Joe and Jarrett as Joe cleans house.  Quick powerslam gets two for Joe but Pope breaks up a cross armbreaker.  Muscle Buster to Pope is blocked twice as Jarrett breaks it up.  Jeff throw Joe to the floor but runs into Kurt.  They run off to the back as Hernandez gets a slingshot shoulder block to take Joe down.  Border Toss is reversed into the Clutch but Pope comes off the top with an elbow to break it up.  Morgan back in as the tagging is completely abandoned.  Anarquia throws Hernandez some brass knuckles but Morgan takes him down.  Pope gets them and knocks Joe out cold for the pin at 9:20 total.

Rating: C-. Kind of a mess here but it got to the ending which is the right idea.  Also keeping Angle and Jeff from having any actual contact is always a good thing.  Not a terrible match but nothing all that great.  At least they built up the three matches the right way and it worked well enough.

The heels leave Morgan and Joe laying.

The Jarretts try to leave but Karen says she forgot her purse.  Jeff says screw it but she runs after it anyway, only to run into Kurt.  Jeff leaves without her and Kurt says what a great pick for a husband and leaves her there.

Here are Hogan and Bischoff.  Hulk calls RVD to the ring and lays it on thick, talking about how this is the new RVD who is all aggressive.  Hogan saw what happened last week where RVD pinned the TNA Champion, which was awesome.  Here’s Sting to say that what Hogan said was a lie.  Sting talks about how RVD needs to earn it and he won’t do that in Immortal.  If he beats Sting cleanly cool, but if it’s not clean it’s over Sting’s dead body.  RVD leaves.

Bischoff talks to Sting now and says that Hogan has been working Sting for his entire career and that Checkmate is in Sting’s future.  Sting disagrees, saying Checkmate is his.  He drills Bischoff in the ribs and hits the Death Drop on him.  Hogan is scared to death as he’s in a back braces still.  Sting says it’ll be on his time, not Hogan’s.

Abyss vs. James Storm

Abyss has new music.  Storm goes right at him, spitting beer in the face and we hit the floor early.  Apparently on Sunday the Angle/Jarrett match is now 2/3 falls.  First is pin, second is submission and third is escape only.  That match just got even more awesome.  Back in the ring and Abyss gets a big boot to take him down.

Storm pops up and hammers away, finally taking him down with a forearm.  Top rope cross body gets two and Storm counters a chokeslam into a Codebreaker and a Backstabber for two.  Chokeslam gets two and Abyss is surprised.  Shock Treatment and the Last Call both miss and the Black Hole Slam gets the pin clean at 3:50.  Immortal wins the man advantage.

Rating: C+. Nice little big man vs. little man here and it was a pretty surprising ending as you don’t have the predicted ending of having it go to the third fall.  Power vs. speed is always fun to see and it worked pretty well here.  The ending was a bit odd though as Storm seemed like he kicked out just in time.  Either way, fun little match.

Back with Bischoff talking to the Network and him being all upset about it.  He demands to know who is working with the Network and the Network apparently says in time.  Bischoff demands to know now and gets hung up on.

Here’s Velvet to call out Angelina.  She gets Winter’s music instead and Angelina is here in that trance still.  Velvet shoves/hits her to get her attention but gets speared down.  Angelina gets a chair and DDTs Velvet on it.  No emotion at all from Love here.  Winter beckons Angelina back and they leave together.

We run down the Lockdown card.

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal

This is a gauntlet match.  First up is Murphy who gets a quick clothesline and a slam.  The slam puts Anderson’s leg into the rope and it might be injured.  DDT to the leg and Anderson is in trouble.  And never mind as the Mic Check sends Murphy out quickly.  Rob Terry is in second and Anderson grabs a small package and rollup for two each.  Terry goes after the knee some more and uses basic power.  Mic Check as a reversal ends him also.

In third is the TV Champion in I believe his first match since winning the title.  There’s not a lot to say here as you know Anderson is about to take this one with a quick win also.  Gunner works on the knee in the corner and Anderson is stuck.  Fourth is going to be Bully Ray and he’ll be last.  Anderson gets a boot in the corner and some strikes to set up a spinning neckbreaker for two.  Yep there it is as he sends Gunner into the corner and the Mic Check makes Anderson 3-0.

Finally it’s Bully Ray who hammers away and drops some elbows before hammering on the knee even more.  The fans chant you can’t wrestle at Ray.  There’s a WWE joke in there somewhere.  Anderson gets yelled at a lot and knocked down again.  The back splash from the middle rope of course doesn’t work as Anderson fires in some shots.  He manages to get Ray up in a fireman’s carry despite having a bad knee.  Well of course he can.

They slug it out and Anderson takes over.  Big boot puts him right back down though and Ray throws him to the floor.  Then he drills the referee and takes the fight to the floor.  Ray takes him up the ramp and sets for a powerbomb like he did to AJ a few weeks back.  As he sets for it Hogan comes out dancing a bit and walks to do it instead.  There goes the back brace and he sets for a powerbomb.  Here’s Sting with the bat though for the save.  Abyss pops up and Sting drills him with the bat.  Ray gets the same treatment and Hogan backs off.  We’ll say the match ended when Ray hit the referee so the match ran 9:30.

Rating: D+. Just a standard gauntlet match here with Anderson destroying everyone not named Ray, including the TV Champion, in short order with no real effort at all.  The ending was I guess to further Sting and Hogan which it did for the most part, but the ending made the match worse, which is bad since it wasn’t a terrible match to begin with.

Fourtune talks about how this ends Sunday.  Storm yells about Abyss.

RVD doesn’t say anything.

Anderson says nothing has changed with him and Sting.  He wants more mountains to climb and rants about the title.

Sting says he’ll keep the title on Sunday.

Hogan says Immortal is going to break Sting in half and if he wants a war, he’s got one.

Overall Rating: B. This was a very good go home show as everything was talked about I think.  We got some decent matches in there also and all in all the show worked.  There were some bad parts but at the same time everything worked.  However, this all comes down to Sunday as the PPV has to work right.  It depends on how that show goes to see if this works overall.

Results

Orlando Jordan b. Douglas Williams, Jesse Neal and Crimson – Gender Bender to Williams

Matt Hardy b. Kazarian – Ice Pick

Hernandez/Jeff Jarrett/D’Angelo Dinero b. Kurt Angle/Samoa Joe/Matt Morgan – Dinero pinned Joe after a punch with brass knuckles

Abyss b. James Storm – Black Hole Slam

Mr. Anderson vs. Immortal went to a no contest

It’s been about six months since this show and I thought it would be interesting to look back and see how things have gone since then.

Impact
Date: October 14, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: THEY Have Arrived!!!

Well this is it. After four days of waiting we can finally get to the explanation from Jeff as to WHY he did what he did. This is something that is very important because you have the entire THEY angle riding on it. The importance of this show can’t be overblown as we begin the next chapter in TNA’s history.

The opening is likely to be about Jeff and THEY as well as set up the fairly obvious RVD vs. Jeff match, although I could see them postponing that one if need be. I’d also be interested in knowing how much actual wrestling we’ll have tonight but we’ll see. Let’s get to it.

We of course open with the recap of the ending of Bound For Glory.

Dixie’s attorney is here and as everyone thought we’re told that Dixie signed the contracts but they weren’t the ones she thought they were.

Hogan (still on crutches) and Bischoff are here to a MASSIVE pyro display. Of course Hogan is acting just like he did as a face. Tenay explains that Hogan and Bischoff now have the majority share of TNA….despite the fact that the attorney never said that.

Naturally Hogan gets a big face reaction with like two signs against him in the whole audience. Oh wait three fat chicks are booing. Well there’s a Hogan sucks chant so there’s something I suppose. Hogan wants Dixie here now. Apparently she promised him everything, much like Ted Turner did in 96. Hogan gets a text or something as he has his phone out and is messing with it.

Here we go: the explanation. It started with Abyss apparently and the Hall of Fame ring. Bischoff and Hogan knew why he randomly turned on Hogan. We bring him out and Hogan declares Abyss his son. THEY’RE HERE! Ok now that my pizzas are here we can get back. What did you think I meant by they?

None of the fans believed Abyss but they are now in control. The fans want RVD. Abyss follows them as Hogan and Bischoff’s soldier now. Hogan declares that Abyss with live forever and is now immortal. I think The Immortals might be the name. Eric brings out Jarrett. Wait was there an actual explanation in there for abyss? If there was I missed it.

Yeah this was no real surprise: he wanted control of his company back. I think that was the easiest of all to understand. And here’s FOURTUNE! Ok this just got good.

Flair talks to Hogan and says that Fourtune runs this company, not Hogan. LOUD Fourtune chant. One of them have to leave apparently. Hogan suggest him vs. Flair and it’s…..not on as they hug. Flair bows down to Hogan and it’s a massive Hogan orgy more or less. The explanation here makes sense though as Fourtune was mad at Dixie for bringing in EV. That actually makes sense. We get a reference to Flair’s five former ex wives and here comes Jeff!

No face paint here either. The fans think Jeff sold out. You can barely see the ropes with so many guys in there with him. He didn’t sell out but sold in. He blames the fans and doesn’t care about popularity. The fans drove him to this because he did everything with all those injuries for what?

And now it’s on to RVD. He’s the whole F’N reason Abyss took RVD out because RVD had to be gone for this to work. They are Immortal. Sting and Nash are watching in the back. Eric and Hogan offer them spots on the team. We go to a break 22 minutes into the show with them coming to the ring.

Security escorts Dixie….somewhere.

Nash and Sting come out and Sting is in street clothes which isn’t something you see that often. Tenay is already annoying. Eric says this is about money and all that jazz. Nash whispers to Sting and says this is perfect for him because it’s always been about money and him in his career. He’s gotten wiser though and quotes the Bible of all things, saying gray hair is a sign of wisdom. He’s passing on the money and if THEY want to run the company into the ground, they can do it without him. I’m surprised.

Sting says this isn’t what he came here for and says he’s here because he loves TNA. He’s shouting the whole time mind you. Sting points to Hogan, Bischoff and Flair (I think) and says this is a no win situation, turning them down. Allegedly both of these guys are leaving TNA with Nash being permanent and Sting possibly being permanent. Bischoff says they can come back anytime. Hogan’s music plays the segment to an end at 9:32.

We cut to the back where Sting and Nash leave but Pope isn’t happy with it. They offer him a place in the car out with them but he’s staying to fight the fight which they’re cool with. Dixie comes up to them and says they can’t leave her. Sting says what everyone thought: if she had listened this wouldn’t be happening. She says he was cryptic. Dixie, he sent crows down at the NWO to demand a title match one night. He’s a weird guy.

Hogan and Bischoff come up to Dixie and she slaps the heck out of Bischoff. She tells Hogan to look her in the eye and tell her he didn’t screw her. He says we’ll talk about this in HIS office as we go to another break.

In the office we have MORE talking. Bischoff smokes a cigar and Hogan flat out tells her that he screwed her out of the company. This is a big Hogan ego trip of course. Hogan and Bischoff both say this is their company. Hogan has had enough and so has Dixie. She tells her security guards to get rid of them but they work for Hogan too. Dixie’s husband SURGE gets knocked out and we take ANOTHER break.

Some hot chick in a BMW shows up. And we’re just not going to talk about this at all. Ok then. Ah ok it’s the Jersey Short chick.

Madison comes out with a referee as I’m guessing this is going to be about Tara. She yells about how Tara has HER title. She wants a match RIGHT NOW. Here’s Tara, looking GOOD. Madison says they had a deal and apparently we’re getting a match….at 9:50pm.

Knockouts Title: Tara vs. Madison Rayne

And Tara lays down so Madison can pin her. I kid you not.

Madison celebrates and here’s Mickie to talk some more. She wants a title shot RIGHT NOW but Madison sends Tara after her. Mickie sends her running and stares her down.

J-Woww from Jersey Shore comes in and talks to the Beautiful People. Apparently she’s an honorary BP tonight.

Back from break and they’re still looking for Cookie. This results in Eric Young freaking out about J-Woww. Jordan comes up and nothing of note happens.

And here’s Angle for MORE talking. No music, no intro, nothing like that. He talks about how he’s all banged up but wants to know why Hogan and Bischoff screwed him before he officially retires. Angle says what we all expected him to say: he didn’t win but he didn’t get pinned either. Cue Jarrett’s music and here he is.

Jarrett more or less calls bull on what Angle is saying. He takes a jab at Angle being an ex-husband (the real meaning being that Jarrett literally married Angle’s wife and not in kayfabe). Angle says he put TNA on the map. Uh, not quite Kurt. He says Jarrett held down everyone but couldn’t hold Angle down.

Kurt Angle, the man that held the tag titles, X-Division and World titles at the same time is talking about holding others down. Jarrett says taking Angle’s career meant more than destroying his life. Angle goes for him and the security guards take him down and handcuff him. The beatdown is on. Uh, Joe anyone?

TAZ of all people comes out of the broadcast booth and calls off Jarrett and says that he has a censored up (censored of course) neck. Old school Taz chant takes us to another break.

70 minutes in, 6 seconds of “wrestling.”

Joe talks (shocking isn’t it) about Jarrett on a tape from Monday, still in Daytona. He’s coming for Jarrett of course.

GOOD NIGHT  IT’S A MATCH! And it’s Abyss. Oh joy.

Abyss vs. Samoa Joe

Yeah they’re officially called Immortal. Well ok then. Joe beats the heck out of him first and beats him into the corner. Chokeslam takes him down and Joe is in trouble. He goes to get a chair but Joe hits a suicide dive into the chair which more or less didn’t hit Abyss’s head at all but he stays down anyway. Sure why not? Bell to the head and we’re done in two minutes. No rating. RVD comes down for the save.

Wait, why didn’t Joe come down and massacre Jeff like 5 minutes ago?

Hey look RVD wants to talk. It’s about Hardy which makes sense. Jeff pops up on the screen and says it was an illusion as he brought RVD as close to him as he could and then destroyed him. Well ok so he told Abyss to destroy him. Hardy says he’s the Anti-Christ of wrestling. WOW.

Bischoff comes out and says if RVD wants Hardy at Turning Point he has to beat Anderson tonight, winner gets the shot.

Back from a break Tessmacher is propositioned by Bischoff for “a meeting later at his place”. He snaps on her and calls her easy. Bischoff knows about Nash and Pope apparently. She’s fired from the Knockouts authority job and can either wrestle or leave. Anderson comes up and declares Bischoff a douchebag and squeezes his hand really hard saying that Bischoff won’t win this war.

D’Angeol Dinero vs. Fourtune

Yep it’s 1 vs. 5 here. Morgan and Flair aren’t in this. Total dominance here of course but it’s better than more talking I suppose. AJ misses the Pele and kicks Kaz which Pope gets two off of. DWI hits him and Kaz gets the pin. Another short match so no grade.

Ad for Turning Point where Angle is named specifically as being there. Nice one guys.

Here’s The Shore to get on my nerves and be booed out of the building. They point out that this is on at the same time as Jersey Shore because that’s how TNA works. Cue up the Beautiful People and J-Woww. Cookie and J-Woww argue as usual and Cookie says go back to the hole you came from. You know, the same one she’s from. Catfight, Shore bails. 15k for a minute long segment and an EY joke.

We recap things to kill time so we can run over into ReAction as always.

Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam

No mic time for Anderson here as he’s mad. The bell rings at about 11pm as we just HAD to have a commercial as RVD made his entrance. Make that 11:01. Naturally to see the main event of Impact you have to watch ReAction. So would that mean the winner got the win on Impact or ReAction? Winner gets Hardy at the PPV mind you.

Basic stuff to start as Van Dam hits a moonsault off the apron to kick Anderson in the head, which might have been how he injured his head and Impact is OVER! And now REACTION has started and we didn’t miss a thing and it serves no purpose but screw that who cares? If you want to see the Impact main event, don’t watch Impact!

After I have a psychotic episode over the stupidity of some of the things this company does, it’s still a boring match. Rolling Thunder is countered into a fireman’s carry and the split legged moonsault gets two. Five Star eats knees and both guys are down. And here’s Bischoff to screw us over. He tells the referee to come with him and here’s Hardy, holding his ribs with a chair.

Chair to RVD. Chair to Anderson. Pillmanizer on the arm of Anderson. Anderson curses a lot and rolls to the floor. That’s your ending by the way.

Rating: D+. Match was pretty weak due to the crowd knowing the ridiculous ending was coming. This match never really got off the ground or anything but it could have been worse. The guys knew the ending was coming and clearly didn’t get going until the very end as they were just going through the motions. Nothing bad really, but nothing particularly good.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a VERY subjective grade to put it mildly. This show can be looked at their get out of jail free card. It was the first show after their biggest show ever and a huge angle. The show as a stand alone show was atrocious. However, this was a show where a lot of talking was actually required.

The explanations that they gave needed to be done. I can understand that and I’m mostly ok with it. However there comes a point where you need some wrestling to get you through a show. Having the show revolve around one angle is fine and makes sense, but you really need some wrestling to go with it. As was said in the LD, even a 4 minute throw away match would have helped tremendously. One or two of those thrown in somewhere and this show goes WAY up.

As for doing what needed to be done tonight, they got a lot out of the way. Jarrett, Dixie, Hogan and Bischoff are all explained. Nash and Sting are written off TV, Pope has a new thing to do, Anderson’s loyalty is pretty clear and RVD and Joe will fight on their own. Hardy was explained but to say it felt rushed is an understatement. Abyss wasn’t explained at all but did we really need to hear about him? All you really get from that is the beginning of the story and we can live without that.

This show did explain some things and kind of got things going for the angle, but at the same time this is showing signs of turning into one massive soap opera much like the NWO angle. The problem with that is back then you had some amazing matches on the side to compliment the drama. You’re not getting that in the first week.

That being said, it’s the first week and I can understand a ton of talking here. However if this is now the status quo, there are REAL problems for this company. This was kind of a disappointment but to say it was horrible isn’t fair. They got through a lot tonight, but what scares me are the weeks to come. There has to be some wrestling out there, and I’m not seeing it here so far. I’m neither thrilled nor optimistic, but I’m also not convinced this is bad. Definitely interested in next week’s offering, but I’ll be less lenient on it to say the least.