Impact – February 24, 2011 – One Big Preview For Next Week

Impact
Date: February 24, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: Hot At Teacher

The main story tonight is that Dixie Carter has promised a major announcement that will change the wrestling world at the end of the show.  Given that TNA makes about one of these a month, I’m not exactly on the edge of my seat but one time they said this and it was Kurt Angle so there’s always a chance.  Other than that this is the last show before we get to the March 3rd show which won’t be in Orlando.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s main event with Hardy beating RVD in a “ratings grab” which drew one of the lower ratings of the year.  Maybe if you had advertised the world title match for longer than an hour and a half that would work.  We also recap Flair turning heel (was he ever face?) and it’s AJ vs. Flair tonight.

Anderson comes into the ring with a chair and sits down in the middle of the ring.  He doesn’t care who’s calling the shots here because right now he’s in charge.  He’s sitting there in that spot until he gets his rematch because his contract says he gets one.  Anderson isn’t sure why the network doesn’t like him but it might be because he’s a jerk.  He says RVD isn’t exactly a law abiding citizen, and here’s Van Dam with a rebuttal.

RVD wants to know about the laws of morality, which is about not feeding your friends to the sharks to get ahead.  Basically Van Dam is mad because he thinks Anderson has plans which RVD is standing in the way of.  This is about the low blow that Hardy got in on Van Dam that Anderson missed.  Van Dam says he’s better whether Anderson likes it or not.

Anderson says that all that matters is getting his rematch, but  before they both do something they regret, and then that’s all he manages to say as Van Dam drills him.  They brawl for a bit until security comes out for the save.  Cue Bischoff and Immortal minus Jeff Hardy with Eric saying he thinks he has a main event, which is a shame as Anderson was going to get a rematch until he saw this.  Jeff Jarrett whispers into Eric’s ear and Eric says good idea.  They add Angle in because we need a triple threat I guess.

Scott Steiner vs. Rob Terry in a posedown later.

Steiner says he’s been doing six ounce curls with James Storm Beer.  Eric Young pops up behind him doing poses and Steiner throws him out.  Young has darker hair now it seems.

The Jarretts look at wedding dresses.  This doesn’t go well as Karen doesn’t like anything and gets annoyed but reminds herself she’s still a princess so everything is ok.

Kurt says he can’t give her away fast enough next week and there will be a wedding we’ll never forget.  Also he’s sorry to Anderson/RVD but he’s not in a ood move.

Gunner/Murphy vs. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young

 

Beer Money is on commentary here.  Yep it’s a comedy match as Young starts with I think that’s Gunner and we get a LONG crisscross, as in like a minute long.  Gunner and Murphy finally take over and hammer away on Young for a bit and we hit the chinlock.  Off to Murphy and Young’s blue shorts are ripped off to reveal regular tights that I think have a Mapleleaf on them.  Gunner and Murphy hit a combination side slam/top rope elbow for the pin on Young at 3:27.  I don’t think Jordan was ever in the match.  Gunner/Murphy vs. Beer Money next week.

Rating: C. Just a basic squash here which is exactly what Gunner/Murphy needed to get themselves up a bit before next week.  That’s why you have jobbers and Young and Jordan are perfect for it.  Decent little match that did exactly what it was supposed to do for both teams.

Angelina tries to talk Velvet out of putting her career on the line and is brushed off for the most part.

After a break here’s D-Von to apologize to his sons for letting Bully Ray (he calls him Bubba here) hurt them, putting them through a table and kicking them in the face.  D-Von looks very emotional here and says he should have been there to protect them.  He says this will not go unanswered but is interrupted by Ray on the monitor.

In the back he’s got someone down in front of him who we can’t see but he keeps hitting.  Raw asks how D-Von’s kids are and then says that so D-Von will never forget what Ray did to his kids.  Apparently that’s D-Von’s brother and he’s going to put him through a table.  D-Von just stands there and apparently doesn’t care.  Did his brother stiff him on the bill at Olive Garden or something?  Tommy Dreamer pops up to make the save and takes Ray into the Impact Zone but security breaks it up.  D-Von accidentally hits Tommy.

Madison says she doesn’t need Tara’s help in the open challenge tonight.

AJ says he’s not taking a backseat to anyone anymore.

Crimson vs. Magnus

 

This is Crimson’s singles debut.  Magnus says that Crimson and he are a lot alike.  They’re both muscular and ambitious etc but Magnus is more of all of them.  Also he’s not carrying Angle’s bags.  After he says this, pain begins happening to him.  Crimson drills him for awhile until Magnus gets a Stunner on the top rope.  He sets for some kind of driver but Magnus counters into a spinning Rock Bottom into a Downward Spiral for the pin at 1:20.  Not even a squash because Magnus might have been on offense longer.  The move is called Red Alert apparently.

RVD says there are a lot of goals he’s going to try to reach tonight but he’s not sure why Eric made this match.

Time for the posedown.  Terry is in shorts and barefoot.  He says he’s the genetic freak so let’s do it.  He’s already one step up on the other Welshman in wrestling in Mason Ryan.  You can understand Terry.  Steiner comes out in a suit.  He says he’s the real genetic freak and has been since Terry was sucking on his mom’s *censored*.  Terry should be called Chernobyl because he’s a few vitamins away from a chemical explosion.

Steiner says that he’s going to go put his gear on rather than coming out here in speedos like a Chippendale.  Terry says that’s just like an American as he’s running when someone bigger and stronger and faster is challenging them.  Steiner turns to take the suit jacket off and Terry hits him with the dumbbell he brought with him.  Steiner gets choked out by the bands that Terry had also.

Velvet comes into her locker room and Winter is there.  Winter says that people are doubting Velvet’s abilities in her match with Sarita next week but Winter isn’t one of them.  Velvet says when she’s done with Sarita she’s coming for Winter’s.  Velvet leaves and Winter smiles evily.

Flair is coming to the ring despite his match being later.

The Jarretts talk to a minister and Karen keeps interrupting everyone.  It’s about Kurt apparently.  The minister hears what they’re planning and says “Oh Lord”, calling it blasphemy.  A minister just summed up this storyline in a nutshell.

Here’s Flair who says it’s hard to be humble when you’re the Nature Boy and therefore God.  He says he might give girl at ringside a shot at Space Mountain.  The fans cheer for him and he says he knows who he is already.  Flair says AJ has one more chance to apologize on his hands and knees before God.  Beer Money and Kaz will get their chances later.

Here’s AJ and Flair tells So Cal Val to open the ropes for AJ but AJ stops her.  Flair’s smile is almost creepy here.  AJ starts to talk but Flair says the fans aren’t needed here because we have a man talking to a God.  AJ isn’t going to beat up Flair tonight because if Flair gets to AJ then Flair wins.  Flair says that Fourtune wasn’t supposed to do anything without Flair.  He even offered James Storm 100 beers last night but Storm wouldn’t do it.

AJ says that if Flair had known what was coming then Flair would have tried to stop them.  Flair says he was trying to show Fourtune how to be great but tonight he’s going to teach them respect.  Flair slaps the taste out of AJ’s mouth and the fight is on.  Hernandez runs out for the save but is thrown over the top and out to the floor by AJ.  Styles goes after Flair again but Hernandez comes back.

Taz and Tenay aren’t sure if Hernandez is officially with Immortal or not.  What part of “Do you want to be in Immortal?” “Yes” Do they not get?  AJ beats up both guys and Flair is, say it with me, BUSTED OPEN.  AJ beats them down again but Hernandez makes a third save and finally takes AJ down.  Ok scratch that as AJ hits a plancha to take Hernandez down for the third time.

And since it’s a Flair segment Flair’s clothes are ripped off.  Styles Clash is attempted but it’s one pose too many as Hernandez comes in for a fourth time and FINALLY they get AJ down.  Fourtune finally runs down for the save.  Morgan pops up and drills Hernandez.  Fourtune stands tall and Morgan leaves Hernandez laying in the crowd/back.

Anderson says he’ll do what he’s always done and get by the odds.  He’s in this for the world title and it’s tunnel vision for him.

Hogan is coming back next week.  As opposed to when he was supposed to come back on 2/3.  This comes with a recap video of the THEY storyline.  The Final Verdict in the court case is next week.

Madison Rayne vs. ???

 

This is a non-title open challenge.  Madison talks about all the Knockouts she’s knocked out and how she’s getting bored.  The first challenger is the returning ODB now with black hair.  ODB hits a Thesz Press and a slam to take Madison down very quickly.  Bronco Buster misses so ODB rubs her crotch a bit.

Madison does that humping the mat thing where the other girl’s head is rammed into the mat.  She tries to do it again and ODB fights her off and runs her over a few times.  Fallaway Slam sets up a nip up and then the Bronco Buster.  She sets Madison into a Fireman’s Carry but Madison escapes and gets a combination swinging neckbreaker/knee to the back of the head of ODB to end it at 3:50.

Rating: D+. Any match that has a woman rubbing her crotch on national TV is a match I have some issues with.  This was nothing special at all and Madison continues to dominate.  This Queen Bee thing isn’t doing anything at all for me as it’s rather boring.  I don’t get why they didn’t go with Mickie but whatever.

Velvet goes to talk to Sarita and Sarita says it’ll be one on one and a fair match with the career on the line.  Velvet leaves and Sarita/Rosita crack up laughing.

Main event is next.

Morgan says that was comeuppance for Hernandez because Hernandez cost Morgan the title.  Apparently they’re fighting next week.

Jeff Jarrett gets a fitting for his tuxedo and apparently Kurt is going to need one also.  Karen still won’t shut up.  Jeff says he’s tired of this princess stuff.  Karen says that’s good because now she’s a queen.  Jarrett gets his suit and that’s about it.

We recap J-Woww showing up to yell at Cookie.  J-Woww said she might be back.  Cookie and Robbie says they’re going to have one of the other Jersey Shore girls call out J-Woww.  Sadly enough this is probably going to get a better rating than anything else they’ve done in awhile which means we’ll see more of it.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Anderson vs. Kurt Angle

 

This is for the #1 contender spot apparently.  We take a break before the opening bell.  Here we are and Anderson is double teamed to start.  Double suplex puts Anderson down which Van Dam was almost on his feet still while Angle was on his back.  Angle is sent to the floor and RVD hits a monkey flip on Anderson.  Angle back in now and the beating continues.  Rolling Thunder is attempted on both but only hits Kurt.

This turns into a regular triple threat with everyone fighting everyone until RVD takes out both guys on the floor and we take a break.  Back with Anderson on the floor and Van Dam taking Angle down with a spinkick.  A monkey flip is blocked but RVD gets the standing moonsault for two.  Angle is sent to the floor and Anderson is back in.  RVD takes him down with a middle rope kick but Angle is back in now.

Clotheslines for everyone as Angle is dominant.  Suplexes for both guys and Anderson gets Rolling Germans.  Angle Slam to Anderson but RVD kicks Angle in the face.  Five Star is blocked by the running belly to belly.  Mic Check is blocked and Angle hits a T-Bone and sets for the ankle lock but Here Comes the Bride plays and here are the Jarretts.  They kiss in the aisle and the distraction lets Anderson Mic Check Angle for the pin at approximately 10:00 shown of 13:12.

Rating: C+. I’m not a fan of these matches at all but this wasn’t bad I guess.  They did about what you would expect them to do and while it wasn’t bad, it was nothing out of the ordinary.  Anderson continues to be the title chaser which he was already since he had a title rematch, but at least it’s official now.

We run down the card for next week:

The Jersey Shore stuff

Bart Scott of the New York Jets

Velvet vs. Sarita

Morgan vs. Hernandez

Gunner/Murphy vs. Beer Money

The Wedding Vows

Dixie and Hogan’s Final Verdict

Taz says there’s some new footage so we’re going to go to it.  There’s a guy walking in the rain and up some stairs.  It says 3-3-11 and my eyes roll.

Overall Rating: C-. This was a massive commercial for next week and on that front it was ok.  The main event was fine despite me not being a fan at all of three way dances.  I still fail to see the point of having everything put on more or less two matches but thankfully they’ve added some other stuff to flesh next week out a bit.  It’ll be nice to see it in a place that isn’t the Impact Zone though, if nothing else to see who is over and who isn’t.  Anyway, not bad this week but nothing great.

Results

Gunner/Murphy b. Orlando Jordan/Eric Young – Side Slam/Elbow Drop combination to Young

Crimson b. Magnus – Red Alert

Madison Rayne b. ODB – Swinging Neckbreaker/Knee to the Neck

Mr. Anderson b. Rob Van Dam and Kurt Angle – Mic Check to Angle




Impact: February 17, 2011: This is a Wrestling Show….Right?

Impact
Date: February 17, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The Boy Is Back In Town

It’s the first show after Against All Odds and we have a new TNA World Heavyweight Champion in the form of Jeff Hardy who still isn’t clear of jail time after his drug charges.  Other than him though it was a very bad night for Immortal as only Jeff Hardy and Jeff Jarrett won on Sunday.  It should be interesting to see where we go from here.  Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from after Against All Odds with Jarrett saying Kurt will deliver his princess to him on March 3rd.  Jeff Hardy says he made ladder matches famous and still is at 33 years old.  RVD vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title tonight.  I’m not saying a word.

Here’s Immortal to open the show.  Eric brings out Jeff Hardy for the celebration.  He talks about how Immortal is still dominant despite Fourtune leaving.  As he’s talking we see Flair arriving.  Matt Hardy vs. Styles tonight.  Eric talks about how Jeff Hardy was supposed to get some time off but he got a call from the network who wants ratings.  Therefore tonight Jeff Hardy has to defend the title against RVD tonight.  Bischoff is going to try to avoid it but right now that’s the plan.

Eric now shifts over to Flair who he’s not sure about.  It gives Eric a weird feeling that he doesn’t like so Flair has until next week.  Cue Flair’s music and here he is.  He says that only one person gave him an ultimatum.  That person was his 3rd ex wife.  Everyone in this ring grew up on Ric Flair and he even got together with Hogan after 25 years.

Did you forget he’s a wrestling god?  When he was in Europe people didn’t call him Ric.  They just called him God.  Cue a God chant of course.  Flair says that he’ll see them later and we really get no resolution here.  Flair definitely came off like a face here.

The Jarretts are getting massages and talk about the wedding vows on March 3rd.  They talk about tuxedos and imply sex later.  That’s the only way to put it really.

We’re back and Matt Hardy and AJ Styles are in a fight in the back.  Immortal runs in as does Fourtune and it’s a big brawl.

We get some clips of Kurt from Sunday looking very sad after losing.  Now we talk about the ladder match.  Hey, did you know both Jeffs won on Sunday?  I didn’t know if the three clip packages and talking about it in 20 minutes made that clear enough.

Sarita/Rosita run into Hernandez in the back and he walks to the ring with them after some Spanish chatting.

Douglas Williams vs. Hernandez

 

Hernandez jumps him in the aisle and beats the living heck out of him while the girls cheer him on.  Hernandez throws him in the ring and chokes him with what looks like a shirt.  Velvet runs down and beats up Sarita a bit but Rosita takes care of her.  Angelina comes out to even things up and they brawl.  Wasn’t there a match going on?  Back in the ring an absolutely SICK Border Toss ends this.  Williams landed right on the back of his head and if he didn’t seriously hurt his neck I’ll be surprised.  Match ran 2:00 even and a large amount of that was the fight between the girls.

Eric is on the phone with someone from the network and is trying to get Jeff Hardy out of the title defense tonight.  This goes over about as well as Eugene in a feature match at Summerslam did and we take a break.

Back with Pope in the ring with a stuffed pig on a table.  It looks like a party of some kind.  He says that he’s a hot Pope and the pig is a sloppy Joe.  Pope wants to talk about Jesus and just like he fed thousands with fish and bread, he’s going to feed everyone here with that pig.  Ronald Regan and Michael Jackson believe in him apparently, as does Jesus who texted him and believes in Pope too.  That last bit was funny.

Pope wants to know who is first but it’ll cost $10 a pop.  Cue Joe’s music and he’s ticked.  Okato is behind Pope and when pope tries to run Okato kicks him in the chest.  Joe drills Pope in the corner and it’s a Muscle Buster through the pig.  Pope gets the apple shoved in his mouth.

Back and Robbie E and Cookie say they’re going to win the title again.  In the back Kazarian is kissing Traci Brooks (real life wife) and it’s time for a match.

X-Division Title: Kazarian vs. Robbie E

 

Not sure if this is a title match or not.  Before the match Kaz runs down Cookie and says she’s ugly with the makeup.  She gets ticked off and leaves.  Yes this is a title match apparently.  Robbie is all aggressive to start and Kaz is in trouble.  Beautiful People vs. Sarita/Rosita tonight.  Kaz gets a springboard elbow and a leg lariat to take over.  And then Cookie comes out with a big purse to hit Kaz in the head with for the DQ at 1:57.  No rating of course but Robbie showed some nice aggression here.  Traci bounces down and it’s a mini cat fight.

Flair goes in to talk to Fourtune and seems to be accepted by them.  He has presents for them and of course they get Iced.  AJ can wait until after his big match though.  They chant chug and down the drinks.  Storm drinks AJ’s just because he can.

AJ vs. Matt Hardy next.

Matt Hardy vs. AJ Styles

 

See?  I told you it was next.  AJ sprints to the ring in the athletic pants of doom and goes off on Matt.  He busts out a huge tope con hilo to half kill Matt.  Ah good he got rid of the warm-up pants and has regular tights under them.  Back in the ring and Matt gets a Side Effect for two.  Matt grabs a Cravate and here’s Flair to play cheerleader.

AJ gets up and seems to rub Matt’s face to take him to the mat.  Styles Clash is blocked and they speed it up a bit with Matt tripping over AJ.  Nice dropkick puts Matt down and AJ goes up.  And then Flair shoves him off the top, naturally joining Immortal again as it was about as obvious as you could get.  Twist of Hate ends it at 3:25.

Rating: C. Match was just long enough to grade but was nothing special at all.  As soon as Flair was there the swerve was completely obvious.  Somehow this is by far the best match of the night and it barely ran 200 seconds.  That might be good though as Matt isn’t someone that can go long distance for the most part.

Flair and Matt beat down AJ until Fourtune runs them off.

Anderson is mad and wants Bischoff.

The Jarretts are in a hot tub.  Can’t complain much with Karen in there.

Anderson wants Bischoff and here comes the silver fox.  He’s annoyed that RVD is getting the title shot tonight.  Despite losing clean on Sunday, Anderson thinks he’s been robbed.  The network decided that RVD got the shot tonight.  Anderson wants to know since when did the network have anything to do with anything around here.  Put him in the ring and that’s ratings.  Bischoff says that Anderson needs to PG himself down a bit.

Anderson says he’ll take the word out of his vocabulary and Bischoff talks more.  Eric will put him in the main event as the guest referee.  Jeff won clean on Sunday and Eric says that Anderson can get a shot if he plays it fair tonight.  Mic Check leaves Bischoff laying.  Anderson is supposed to be TNA’s Austin and it’s just not there.  Points for trying though I guess.

Velvet is talking to Winter and Velvet wants Winter to stay out of ringside tonight.  Velvet turns her back and Winter picks up some scissors until Angelina comes in.  Winter says Velvet could never feel for Angelina like Winter does.  Velvet leaves and Winter says all will be revealed.

AJ is ticked about Flair and says this is about AJ vs. Flair.

Angelina Love/Velvet Sky vs. Rosita/Sarita

 

The brawl starts in the aisle as you would expect.  Velvet vs. Sarita starts us off officially.  Off to Rosita as the fans are rather quiet.  Tandem elbow drop from the Beautiful People gets no cover as Sarita breaks it up.  World’s Strongest Slam from Angelina to Rosita and it’s off to Sarita again.  Backbreaker gets two for Angelina and Velvet comes in again.

The cousins are tagging in a lot.  Rosita doesn’t seem to want to stay in and keeps bringing Sarita in, which ticks her off.  Everything breaks down with Angelina and Rosita on the floor.  Velvet tries a DDT but Rosita trips her up and holds the feet down for the pin at 3:52.  Can we please break 4 minutes?  Please?

Rating: D. Weak match here with a predictable ending.  There was no way the Beautiful People were going to be able to win here and everyone knew it.  This went nowhere for the most part and was just to continue the losing streak by Velvet.  Somehow this is the longest match of the night.  That’s a little absurd.

Velvet says she wants to end this with Sarita.  Sarita says Velvet is a loser then remembers she’s supposed to have an accent.  Sarita wants Velvet’s career on the line and Velvet says bring it on.

The Jarretts are going to dinner.  More sex is implied.

Kurt is mad and is going to their dinner party.

Madison is talking to Tara and says she’s knocked out the entire locker room so she’s bored.  There’s an open challenge next week.

Next week there’s a pose down between Terry and Steiner.

We recap RVD’s world title win and him having to vacate the title due to the attack by Abyss.  Also we see about Hardy betraying him and being responsible for the attack on RVD.  Hardy says he’s going to hurt Van Dam.

The Jarretts are complaining about the food and toast Kurt having to be humiliated on March 3rd.  Karen complains about the wine and Jarrett goes off on the chef.  And here’s Kurt who just somehow got in the restaurant.  He wants to know where the tip is.  This was uh….odd.

RVD says tonight he gets his shot and preparation meets opportunity.  The title is just a bonus.

Since we need to make sure no match gets anything resembling a decent amount of time tonight we talk about the Dudley street fight at the PPV but Spike won’t let them show the footage.  D-Von won’t give comments but Ray comes out to the table.  Ray goes all bully on them and Tazz has something to say about it.  Ray says that if he wants to smack Tenay (this old man) then he will.  Tazz says no you won’t because you crossed the line Sunday.  Isn’t that the point of the company.  Ray slaps Tenay’s headset off and leaves.

TNA World Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy

 

Anderson is the guest referee.  He does his usual intro but calls Green Bay Title Tow USA to mess the fans up a bit.  Taz says that Jeff’s entrance is inspired by Lady Gaga.  Oh dear he’s coming out of an egg.  I give up.  RVD, the guy that is so angry, starts with a collar and elbow tie up.  He gets the one footed dropkick to Hardy who is crotched on the top.  Flair vs. AJ is announced for next week.

All RVD to start.  To the floor and RVD drapes him over the barricade so he can hit the spinning leg kick to the back as we take a break.  Back with Van Dam hitting something on Hardy that we couldn’t see since when we came back the camera was on the monitor above the ring and then cut away.  Either way it gets two for the challenger.  Split Legged Moonsault out of the corner eats knees though.

Hardy gets a low dropkick to send RVD’s ribs into the post.  Sitout Gordbuster gets two for Jeff.  Whisper in the Wind misses and Van Dam gets a standing moonsault for no cover.  Van Dam gets shoved to the floor and Jeff takes over again.  Swanton gets two.  Five Star gets two as Jeff gets his foot on the ropes.  Van Dam tries to get a rollup but accidentally runs Jeff into the corner where Anderson is standing.  A low blow by Hardy when Anderson can’t see it sets up the Twist of Hate to end it at 12:20.

Rating: C+. The match was fine and thankfully it got some time unlike the rest of the matches tonight, but this should have been at Victory Road instead of on Impact.  Anderson added very little here but I guess it’s supposed to set up the continuance of their feud and make him look more like Austin.  Either way, not bad here but nothing I’ll remember in a few days.

Anderson hits the Mic Check on Hardy post match and Van Dam complains about the low blow.  Here’s a Mic Check for Van Dam as well to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. Yeah this was pretty bad.  The main problem here is simple: until the main event which started at 10:47, we had (rounded up to) 11:30 of wrestling.  I’m sorry but that’s unacceptable for me in nearly two hours of wrestling.  They gave us a decent main event which should have been a PPV main event but instead we got it with about two hours of buildup.  If nothing else make THIS the main event March 3rd but that’s Hogan and the Jarretts’ night I guess.

Overall the show was too light on wrestling and all of the talking they did amounted to nothing.  Flair returned and was with Fourtune for about an hour before joining Immortal again.  That and the Jarretts were the main focus of the show tonight.  All in all it’s a big preview for March 3rd which seems to be the new norm for TNA: have supershows instead of the PPVs as the main thing.  That’s fine, but it makes the TV shows pretty boring on the way there.  Bad show this week after TNA had been on a hot streak lately.

Results

Hernandez b. Douglas Williams – Border Toss

Kazarian b. Robbie E via DQ when Cookie hit Kazarian with a purse

Matt Hardy b. AJ Styles – Twist of Hate

Rosita/Sarita b. Angelina Love/Velvet Sky – Rosita pinned Velvet when Sarita held Rosita’s legs

Jeff Hardy b. Rob Van Dam – Twist of Hate




Impact: February 10, 2011 – Now They’re Stealing WWE’s Bad Ideas

Impact
Date: February 10, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Don’t Be Roode

It’s a new era for TNA as we have Fourtune now as faces, leading the TNA charge against Immortal.  With AJ as arguably top face again, things are looking a bit more familiar around the Impact Zone this week.  We’re a mere four days away from Against All Odds and there aren’t many matches announced on TV yet.  I’d expect to find out what else is coming tonight though.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip of Jarrett on a radio show talking about the Kurt Angle situation.  There are also some clips of Angle watching Jarrett at a house show.  We then shift over to Fourtune being revealed as THEY.  Roode has something to say tonight.

Immortal comes out to open the show.  No Flair again as I guess he’s either being held off TV or is out due to his shoulder injury.  Immortal looks a bit dressed down this week other than Jeff Jarrett and Karen.  Eric says that Immortal won’t miss a beat after last week.  He’s not going to give up power because for 15 years he’s made stars, built companies and changed the industry.  Bischoff just said he made stars.  Ok I regained my composure.  Almost died of laughter there.

Bischoff runs down Fourtune and says how worthless they are.  He hands the mic over to Jeff Jarrett who calls out Fourtune.  The fans chant for AJ.  Jarrett (when I say Jarrett I mean Jeff.  I’ll refer to Karen as Karen for clarification) says he gave all 4 of these guys a job 9 years ago.  Jarrett gets in their faces again but Roode grabs the mic from him.

Roode says that Fourtune is the backbone of the company and that they all had chances to go away for more money or better opportunities, but they were the ones that have stood by TNA.  They’ll continue to rise to the top no matter what Immortal wants to do.  He says for Jarrett to do something about it if he doesn’t like it and the brawl is on.  Good promo from Roode who I’ve never seen the superstar in him that is supposed to be there.  Angle, Crimson and Steiner run out to even the odds as Immortal runs.

Angle and Jarrett sign their contract tonight.

The world title is on the line as Anderson defends against Morgan.  The winner gets Jeff Hardy in a ladder match for the title on Sunday.  Well at least they announced the PPV main event.

Velvet and Winter are arguing in the back until Angelina breaks them up and has an official introduction.  They argue more and Angelina is frustrated as we take a break.

Back with Eric offering the returning Hernandez a spot in Immortal which he accepts.

Matt Hardy/Bully Ray/D’Angelo Dinero vs. D-Von/Samoa Joe/Rob Van Dam

 

This is a tables match.  These guys all have singles matches at the PPV which I think you can figure out.  Joe chases Pope out of the arena to start.  I think this is one table to a finish.  Van Dam vs. Matt in the ring as he hits Rolling Thunder.  D-Von beats up Bubba on the floor.  The Dudleys are in the ring now with Bubba hitting D-Von low.  Bubba gets a table set up but yells at D-Von’s kids.  They jump the rail and detain him, allowing D-Von to knock Bubba through the table for the win at 3:15.

Rating: C-. This was a total mess to say the least, but they got the right idea at least of having the three singles matches get pushed at the same time.  The Pope and Joe were out there maybe 4 seconds total, but the other matches got some camera time at least.  I’m a fan of this kind of booking, but this was too insane to really get much out of it.

The Angles have a surprise for Kurt.

Back with the Jarretts in the ring, flanked by security.  Karen says they have a hectic schedule but their perfect family works well enough to pull it off.  Here comes Kurt for the contract signing.  Karen says they need to get along for the sake of their kids while patronizing him terribly.  Kurt says let’s get this over with.  Jarrett says that there was no need for the violence at Genesis.

Jarrett says he’s going to raise the stakes.  If Kurt wins, he gets sole custody of Kurt’s two kids.  Three weeks from tonight however, the Jarretts are renewing their wedding vows.  If Jarrett wins, Kurt has to give Karen away on March 3rd (three weeks from tonight).  Yes, they’re actually having a match for the custody of kids.  And yes I know WWE did it.  It was stupid then and it’s stupid now.  The contract is signed with no issues for perhaps the first time ever in professional wrestling.

Sarita/Rosita/Tara/Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky/Winter/Angelina Love/Mickie James

 

Winter tries to slide between Angelina’s legs like Velvet and almost knocks her over.  Then she blocks Velvet’s entrance.  Ah there it is.  Angelina vs. Sarita to start us off.  Rolling cradle into a sunset flip gets two for Love immediately.  The world title match is next apparently.  Top rope cross body gets two on Sarita but Rosita trips Angelina up before coming in.

Sarita back in as she and Rosita have decent chemistry.  Rosita is pretty tiny.  They’ve been the only members of their team in so far as it’s back to Rosita.  Angelina gets a front slam (World’s Strongest Slam) to break the momentum and it’s off to Velvet.  Winter gets mad at her for coming in and Rosita drills her.  More cousin double teaming results in Rosita hitting a moonsault for the pin on Velvet at 3:00.

Rating: C+. This was probably too short to grade but the chemistry between the cousins was impressive.  I would have liked more than half the girls to be in the match as this really should have been a tag match with Winter outside, but I get what they were going for here I guess.  The cousins carried this and I’d like to see more of them in the future.

Mickie wants to fight Madison right now as we go to a break.

Back with Mickie saying she wants to fight now.  Madison says that Mickie came here to prove that she’s the best in the world.  Madison says that Mickie talks a good game but can’t walk the walk.  She says she’ll see Mickie at Against All Odds.  This was kind of abrupt.

Jeff Hardy says it doesn’t matter who he faces at the ladder match as it’s his element.

World title match is next.

Angle goes into Fourtune’s locker room and tells Roode and AJ to hurt Jeff Jarrett tonight.  Angle says he wishes it were him tonight and Roode volunteers to put himself in there.  The pop for that makes it hard to hear the promo.  Listen to that TNA.

TNA World Title: Matt Morgan vs. Mr. Anderson

 

After Anderson’s usual introduction, here’s Hardy with a personalized ladder.  Hardy sits on top of it as we get started.  They feel each other out a lot to start with Morgan overpowering Anderson.  Side slam gets two.  Anderson grabs a rollup for one and Morgan gets a clothesline for two.  Anderson speeds things up and takes over.  That was some nice stuff from him there.

Mic Check is avoided as is the Carbon Footprint.  Anderson gets a middle rope clothesline for two.  Morgan is on the apron and snaps Anderson’s neck across the top and the champion goes flying into the referee.  Hernandez runs in through the crowd and beats down Morgan, allowing Anderson to get the easy pin at 5:40.  Anderson didn’t see Hernandez’s beatdown.

Rating: C-. Not a bad match here but it was pretty clear they were going through the motions.  I like the title being on the line on TV though as it makes things seem important.  Even a match like this where there was little doubt as to who would win is a good thing as you want to watch because you might see something important.  Smart TV there.

Post match Hernandez and Hardy beat down Anderson.  Hardy poses with the belt as we take a break.

Ray says that D-Von’s sons are bastards and they’re in over their heads.  He issues a challenge to D-Von to bring his sons to Against All Odds for a 3-1 street fight.  Oh dear.  His kids are teenagers if you’re curious.

Brian Kendrick vs. Robbie E vs. Suicide

 

The winner is in the triple threat at Against All Odds against Generation Me of which the winner will get the shot at Kaz.  Robbie E isn’t happy as he got robbed of his title.  Tonight is the road to regaining his bling.  Robbie jumps Suicide to start as Kendrick is rocking back and forth on the mat meditating or something.  Suicide takes over on Robbie but is sent over the top to the floor.

Kendrick pops up and goes off on Robbie while still in his cloak for lack of a better term.  In comes Suicide again and Kendrick accidentally nails him.  Suicide gets up and takes down both guys, knocking them into the corners.  Suicide takes down Kendrick with the Suicide Solution (kind of a weird belly to back suplex/Angle Slam combination) but Cookie distracts, allowing Robbie to knock him to the floor and steals the pin to advance to Against All Odds at 2:55.  No rating as it was too short, but this was the weakest of these matches.

Eliminate the Hate ad.

Ink Inc says that they’re unique and that they give it their all in the ring.  Just a quick 30 second promo but this was perhaps the first or second time we’ve heard these guys talk about themselves.  This is the kind of thing TNA needs to do more of with some of their lesser established characters.

Gunner/Murphy/Rob Terry vs. Steiner/Beer Money at the PPV.  We also run down the rest of the card.

D-Von says his boys will be in the match.  From a kayfabe perspective, I don’t get why D-Von would do this to someone that has no issue hurting them.  Isn’t he just putting them in danger?  Not criticizing it, just not really getting it.

Jeff Jarrett/Jeff Hardy vs. AJ Styles/Kurt Angle

 

Angle has a big smile on his face on the way to the ring.  We take a break before the bell.  Jarrett vs. AJ to start but Kurt is tagged in almost immediately.  Let the stalling begin.  You can always tell a guy that cut his teeth in Memphis.  They can stall like few others.  Angle and Hardy start us off proper here.  Angle gets the belly to belly for two.  Taz says he’s wrestled both of these men before.  He needs to say things like that more often as unless you started watching before about 2002, there’s a chance you might not know he was a wrestler.

Off to AJ vs. Hardy for a bit before Jarrett comes in to beat down AJ.  Jarrett keeps running from Angle and it’s Hardy vs. Kurt again.  Hardy hooks a chinlock on Angle for a bit and takes him down with a back elbow.  In true heel fashion we get Angle vs. Jarrett when Angle is beaten down.  Karen yells at Kurt a lot but Jeff misses an enziguri and it’s ankle lock time.  Hardy saves and is in now legally I guess.

Hardy puts on a chinlock/choke to Angle as we take a break.  Back with more Hardy beating on Angle.  It seems that they’re protecting AJ which makes sense as he might not be back to full speed yet.  Angle gets the running belly to belly off the top and both guys are down.  Hot tag to AJ who cleans house.  Angle wants the Slam on Jarrett but Jarrett escapes.  Kurt goes after Karen and the distraction allows AJ to hit the springboard forearm (love that move) for the pin at 14:26.

Rating: C+. This was a main event tag match and it worked for the most part.  Jarrett running from Angle was a nice touch as that was the focal point of the match.  This wasn’t a great match or anything but it did the job it was supposed to do.  Fun main event tag and a good way to end the show.

The Jeffs beat down Angle and AJ until Fourtune makes the save.  Immortal comes down for the second save and controls for a bit.  RVD comes out for save #3 but Matt gets a shot to the knee.  Here comes Anderson for the final save to take down Immortal to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a hard one to grade.  Due to having everything come together last week, this was more or less 2-3 weeks worth of build in one show for the PPV.  That being said, they got the matches announced and for the most part they work.  A lot of it is a rehash of Genesis, but that’s the best they’ve got right now.  It seems the main event picture is shaky to say the least as no real challenger for Anderson is there other than Hardy who doesn’t seem like a threat at all.  Either way, I thought they did the best they could with what they had.  I liked this for some reason despite some very stupid stuff on it.

Results

D-Von/Samoa Joe/Rob Van Dam b. D’Angelo Dinero/Bully Ray/Matt Hardy – D-Von put Ray through a table

Sarita/Rosita/Tara/Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky/Winter/Angelina Love/Mickie James – Moonsault to Sky

Mr. Anderson b. Matt Morgan – Pin after Hernandez attacked Morgan

Robbie E. b. Suicide and Brian Kendrick – Pin after a Suicide Solution to Kendrick

AJ Styles/Kurt Angle b. Jeff Hardy/Jeff Jarrett – Springboard forearm to Jarrett




Impact: February 3, 2011 – Since When Do They Air PPV Reruns?

Impact
Date: February 3, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Expect the Unexpected

THEY arrive tonight.  After so much speculation, we finally find out who THEY are.  Also we see Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kurt Angle for the world title.  It’s good to finally have a champion since RVD was attacked.  This should be….oh wait hang on I put in the wrong review.  Be right back.

Ah here we are.

THEY arrive tonight.  After so much speculation, we finally find out who THEY are.  Also we see Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy for the world title.  Yes, TNA is more or less running the same story three months later which isn’t as bad as it sounds, but it doesn’t bode well.  Allegedly THEY were the returning Main Event Mafia but that doesn’t seem to be the case now, due to the departures of Booker T and Kevin Nash.  Anyway, let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Steiner coming back last week and what probably was the Mafia angle, despite what Bischoff wants you to believe apparently.  We get a ton of quick interviews ala ReAction saying nothing of note.

In the arena we open up properly with Bischoff and Immortal in the ring.  The fans chant we want Flair.  I hear he’s too busy to be here but he’ll show up for an advance in pay.  Bischoff calls out Steiner who he isn’t happy with.  First things first: Hogan isn’t here tonight.  Yes, the guy they’ve hyped for weeks on this show, the biggest draw in the company (allegedly), STILL isn’t here.  He was last seen on a TNA show on Thanksgiving.

According to Eric, there is no THEY.  Bischoff tells Steiner that he told Nash to leave and take the money.  Sting isn’t coming back and no one cares about Booker.  Yeah nonsenseon it never being the Mafia until right now.  Eric offers Steiner a spot on the team and says his options are join or get beaten up.  Steiner takes option 3: he beats up Bischoff instead.

Scott says Bischoff is making the same mistake everyone does and assumes he knows Steiner when he doesn’t.  He says call him sir or he’ll snap Bischoff’s neck.  This brings out Crimson and Angle.  All three are in suits mind you.  Angle says THEY are indeed here and it’s real.  Bischoff looks a bit nervous as we take a break.

Back with Jeff Hardy being worried about tonight but Bischoff says it’s ok.  He wants Flair though and Angle/Crimson/Steiner pop up to say THEY’RE HERE!

Ink Inc vs. Gunner/Murphy

 

Big brawl to start us off with the security guys in control.  We get down to business with Neal vs. Murphy.  Off to Gunner quickly though as the security guys are moving quickly.  Ink Inc has had nothing yet.  Off to a chinlock by Gunner.  Moore finally gets the tag and fights them both off for a bit.  Heel miscommunication sets up the Mooregasm to Murphy to end it.

Rating: C-. This was really short at just barely over three minutes.  That being said they still managed to keep things fast paced.  I think they were trying to play up the idea of Immortal being shaken up, but I’m not sure this was an actual upset like the announcers would like you to believe.

Angle, Steiner and Crimson are in the back.  Crimson says THEY haven’t touched base yet.  He also calls Angle boss which means he’s the leader I guess.  Kurt gets a phone call and is told we’re still on.  They leave to go over the plan.

Christy Hemme is in Dallas apparently where she says that the judge issued a continuance until March 3, which is when we’ll hear the ruling.  Great way to earn that paycheck and trip to Dallas Christy!  Also nice job of hyping Hogan for a month and then not delivering him.

In the same shot Eric Young pops up and says Angle is a cyborg and he knows who THEY are.  This is another one of those insane bits that makes no difference at all for the most part.  Apparently he thinks they’re off air.

We get a video of the Jarretts’ house including the kids.  This is about what you would expect.

Anderson wants to talk to Hardy before the match, out in the ring.

Back with Bubba Ray (I will not refer to him as Bully Ray unless I have to) in the ring with Pope who is apparently his partner.  Ray talks about how he beat up D-Von last week and was the real star of the team.  The fans want D-Von.  Pope says that it’s Joe vs. Pope at the PPV.

This is one of the three storylines going on in TNA at the moment and it’s probably the best one.  The reason for that: it’s basic.  This isn’t something that is supposed to be huge.  It’s been built up over a few weeks and months and they haven’t gotten in the ring yet.  That’s how you build a feud.  I’d like to see them fight actually.

D’Angelo Dinero/Bully Ray vs. Samoa Joe/Brother D-Von

 

I didn’t hear a bell so I’m assuming this was an official match.  The respective feuds break off with the Dudleys in the ring and the other two in the aisle.  Pope tries to run but Okada stops him in the aisle.  Who is Okada you ask?  Well he’s the guy that Joe had filming Pope.  Well ok, that’s fine and good.  However, this is a great example of TNA asking the fans to do too much.

Okada has never appeared on Impact until he popped up in this.  He’s been on Xplosion, but since that show is referenced maybe once every six months on Impact, unless you pay really close attention to TNA or know him from his Japan days, this guy is a totally random addition that you’ve never seen before but apparently you’re supposed to be familiar with.

It confuses the viewer because the viewer is guided by the announcers.  The announcers treat Okada like someone they’re completely familiar with rather than someone that has never been seen on Impact before.  This makes fans think they’ve forgotten someone or even confuses them because they try to figure out why they don’t know who he is.

What that does is distract them from what’s going on in the story.  This is another shining example of a very easily solved problem that TNA just lets happen.  Here’s how you fix it.  Tenay: “Ladies and gentlemen that man’s name is Okada.  He’s been a member of TNA’s roster for a few months now and has been appearing on our syndicated program Xplosion.”

Bam ten seconds and you accomplish two things.  You establish this guy isn’t a stranger to TNA and does have a connection to the company.  You also let people know there is more TNA wrestling out there if they’re interested.  See?  Instead, we got this.  Tenay: “It’s Okada.”

Ok, who’s Okada?  Why should I care that he’s here?  Should I be surprised?  Is this a twist?  Is this expected?  Does he have a history with Pope?  With Joe?  Is he a wrestler?  A businessman?  A mercenary?  All we know about him is that his name is Okada and he’s done some work for Joe and he dresses like Kato from Green Hornet.  It’s confusing and it doesn’t have to be.  That’s not good and it happens way too much in TNA.

Back in the ring, Ray has a chain but gets dropped with a clothesline.  If there was a bell I missed it completely.  There’s a referee in there so I’m assuming this is a match.  D-Von hammers away and we hit the floor.  They’re having a street fight at the PPV.  D-Von drills him with a chair and Ray is in trouble.  Tenay says it was a scheduled match but security is pulling D-Von off Bubba so I guess it was thrown out.  Bubba spits on D-Von’s kids as D-Von is being held back.

Mickie vs. Sarita in a taped fist match later.

Jay Lethal vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Douglas Williams

 

This is another of those X-Division qualifying things.  Max Buck, the one that has already qualified, is at the announce table.  Great to see guys like Williams and Lethal staying in the upper midcard like they got pushes to isn’t it?  Buck gets on both other guys and manages to get out of the way before they massacre him, resulting in Lethal nailing Williams.

Jeremy sends Williams to the floor and lands a sweet Asai Moonsault.  He gets taken out by a suicide dive by Lethal though as they’re moving out there.  Jeremy gets a DDT on Lethal but at the same time Williams gets a Russian Leg Sweep on Jeremy.  With everyone in trouble, Max determines that Jeremy’s shoe is untied so he heads to the ring.  Tower of Doom has Buck in trouble.

Williams gets a small package for two.  Next week it’s Robbie E vs. Suicide vs. Kendrick for the last spot in the #1 contenders match.  Buck is on the floor for a long while Lethal and Williams do the work.  Williams hits Rolling Chaos but gets kicked low by Jeremy who steals the pin on Lethal to advance.

Rating: D+. I wasn’t impressed here at all.  The spots were nice so points for that but this went by really quickly.  Somehow this was four and a half minutes long which blows my mind.  Either way this wasn’t much as this flew by.  These matches are getting more spottish every week, which isn’t a good thing at all.

Bischoff is talking to Flair’s attorney and doesn’t know where Flair is.  Beer Money says it’s ok.  Fourtune leaves but AJ says not to worry about anything.  AJ says WE are in the driver’s seat.

Sarita says she doesn’t have a strategy for her match with Mickie because she doesn’t need one.  Her cousin Rosita is here next week.

We get some quick promos from Anderson and Hardy about their match tonight.  This is some of Jeff’s best talking in a long time as you can understand him perfectly well.

Anderson calls out Hardy and here he comes.  Hardy looks exactly like he did “last week in Germany” as the promos were from.  There is literally water/sweat dripping from Jeff’s hair.  You can see it and it looks like a leaky faucet.  Anderson asks how many jerks  there are here and gets a nice reaction.  He asks the same about the Creatures of the Night.  Not so good of a reaction, which translates to me that there aren’t many Taker fans tonight.

Anderson makes fun of the title belt but says that he’s worked for 11 years to win what it represents.  Both guys don’t respect authority and he talks about the gum chewing thing again.  Anderson can’t seem to decide if this is a serious promo or a comedy one.  Ken wants a fair match tonight.  Hardy talks about how he doesn’t need Immortal to win here so the fans of course keep talking and ranting about things that don’t need to be chanted about.

Mickie is taping up her fist.

Back to the Jarretts and in this case it’s about their kids and family life.  Apparently they’re going to have a talent show.

Mickie James vs. Sarita

 

This is the taped fist match which means you can tape your fists.  Shouldn’t this be Velvet instead of Mickie though?  Apparently Mickie’s title shot is in a Last Knockout Standing match.  Seated dropkick puts down Sarita and Mickie adds in some splits.  You have to win by knockout apparently.  We head to the floor and Mickie might have punches the post.  Sarita works on the hand, because that’s clearly the easiest way to knock someone out right?

Hand goes into the steps and it’s all Sarita.  This is rather boring indeed.  Sarita keeps dancing and locks in an armbar, in a match where you have to win by knockout.  Are they even trying here?  In the cheapest of cheap endings, Mickie dodges some shots and gets a single left hand in to end it.  So let me get this straight.  A single shot with one of those fists can end it?  THEN WHY DID WE NEED TO SPEND SIX MINUTES GETTING HERE???  Whatever just end this.

Rating: F. Can someone, anyone, tell me what the freaking point to the tape was?  It’s a classic example of a gimmick match not being needed and being there for the sake of a gimmick.  This was boring as heck and I absolutely hate the lazy booking of one person is beaten down the whole time and then a single shot ends it.  Bad booking and I hate it.

Madison blasts Mickie with the cast and stands over her all evil and such.

Bischoff tells Hardy that he’s a bit worried while Jeff says he’s ready.  Hardy says no one from Immortal can be out there.

The Jarretts are going to renew their wedding vows.  This of course is absolutely sickening.  Oh and it’ll be on Impact of course.

TNA World Title: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy

 

Hey look it’s the match that they should have built up for weeks but instead hot shotted it on a PPV for shock value!  Hardy jumps Anderson during his intro and the fight is on as we’re still on the ramp.  Since this is a title match that is scheduled, a bunch of referees pull them apart and we get swearing.  Anderson had some kind of arm hold on Hardy that apparently worked a bit.

The match hasn’t started yet either.  We take a break before we start which is a bit stupid but not bad.  Here’s the bell.  Let me clarify that: I have no problem with a break before the bell which is probably the best idea.  I don’t get the point in having a big brawl instead of just starting the match.  Anderson controls to start and gets some elbow drops for two.

Hardy fights back and takes over.  This is the complete opposite of epic as we knew that Anderson would win the first time but it still felt big.  We talk about THEY because the world title match isn’t interesting enough I guess.  Off to a choke/chinlock by Jeff.  Hardy gets a leg drop as this is needing to pick up a lot.  Now Hardy wants to work on the leg for no apparent reason.

Anderson’s balls go into the post and Hardy works on the head.  Wow that sounded very bad indeed.  Back to the chinlock now.  Whisper in the Wind takes Anderson down but of course here comes Anderson.  They slug it out from their knees and are now back up with some nice sequences still of punches.  Anderson gets a spinning neckbreaker for two.

Mic Check can’t hit but Anderson gets a double spin kick (not joking) much like the one Red hits on Lethal in the package from the New York house show that they air every week.  That was kind of awesome.  Front suplex by Hardy gets two.  Dueling chants here.  Great job of getting Hardy over as a heel there Hogan/Bischoff.  Twist of Hate is reversed and down goes the referee of course.

Here’s the Twist of Hate and here comes Immortal.  Terry kills Anderson with a clothesline and the beatdown is imminent.  AJ hands Anderson to Hardy and throws up the Fourtune sign.  And then Fourtune beats up Immortal and it’s a Styles Clash for Hardy.  The fans are liking this a lot as Anderson gets the pin on Hardy to retain.

Rating: D+. This just did not ever get off the ground.  We knew that something was coming and while the ending is good, there’s no big pop here.  THIS should have been Hardy dropping the title to Anderson rather than at the PPV, but since that would be logical booking and TNA doesn’t want that at all, this was what we got and it was just ok.  It’s pretty clear this was supposed to be epic and that the company thinks this is their big feud, it’s never clicked for me.  Match wasn’t terrible to be sure, but it was nothing great at all.

After a break, AJ says look what we have here.  Fourtune isn’t taking a back seat to anyone and this is on Eric’s head.  Fourtune is THEY of course.  Eric comes out to call AJ an ungrateful son of a gun.  Fourtne was nothing without Hogan and Bischoff and all that jazz.  Angle, Crimson and Steiner are in there now too but this is AJ vs. Bischoff.

AJ yells about how Eric and Hogan changed everything and how they messed up a ton of stuff.  The fans of course decide that they need to speak up and let us know they want six sides.  Hogan is back on March 3rd.  Really.  We mean it this time.  Hogan WILL be here this time unlike tonight when we promised he would be here.  He hasn’t been seen since Thanksgiving and is somehow the #2 or #3 heel in the company.  The big staredown ends the show.

Overall Rating: D-. There’s a lot to get to here so let’s get started.  First the good: Fourtune.  This is exactly what TNA needs at this point: TNA originals (kind of) vs. the outsiders.  That’s the perfect story given how they’ve set all this up.  I’m very happy with that.  Now for the bad.

Number one: This should have happened FOUR MONTHS AGO!  Fourtune has been the popular faction in TNA for MONTHS.  There was never any need at all for them to join up with Immortal and again, IT MADE NO SENSE!  Flair wanted to tick off Dixie and did that and then his boys were far more powerful than Immortal but kept the alliance anyway to be lackies.  THAT MAKES NO SENSE!

So now it’s Fourtune/Angle/Steiner/Crimson/Anderson/probably Morgan vs. Gunner/Murphy/Hardys/Jarrett.  That doesn’t exactly sound riveting as you have the titles and the power with Fourtune who are supposed to be the underdogs as the, you know, good guys.  Here’s where you see the criticisms of Bischoff and Russo shining through.

This is, once again, the NWO vs. WCW and the Millionaires Club vs. New Blood.  It’s a faction war with the heels being led by the corrupt leader and the good guys being all about keeping things like they were before.  Like I said, this is the right choice but it’s not like this is something we’re going to be riveted by as we’ve seen it before.  That’s not good but it’s what Russo and Bischoff do: they have one idea and that’s all you see out of them.

One last good thing I forgot to mention: AJ.  This is what TNA needed to have months ago (notice that I’m kind of harping on that).  AJ Styles is the golden boy in TNA and represents everything that the company is about.  FINALLY he’s standing up to fight off these guys that have wanted to change everything about the company and while it’s not exactly interesting, AJ belongs as a face in this company and that’s all there is to it.

Other than this, the show is worthless.  There isn’t a good match to be seen, the whole thing is thrown together around the basic premise of THEY coming back.  The BFG show did such an incredible job of building up the tension and atmosphere before the reveal that even I, one of TNA’s harshest critics on here, was dying to know who THEY were.  This time though, there was nothing.  It happened and that was it.

The show was just bad overall with only AJ and the reveal being the good parts.  I’m curious as to where this will go but only to an extent.  Hogan coming back on March 3rd does nothing for me.  He can’t wrestle, he can barely walk, but he’s supposed to be a big deal?  Just get to the destruction of Immortal and let it go.  Bad show this week but there was a somewhat redeeming quality to it.oganglaksj

Results

Ink Inc b. Gunner/Murphy – Mooregasm to Murphy

Samoa Joe/D-Von vs. Bully Ray/D’Angelo Dinero went to a no contest

Jeremy Buck b. Jay Lethal and Douglas Williams – Buck pinned Lethal after Rolling Chaos Theory

Mickie James b. Sarita by knockout

Mr. Anderson b. Jeff Hardy – Pin after a Styles Clash from AJ Styles




Impact – January 27, 2011 – Kurt is Back! Even Though He Never Left!

Impact
Date: January 27, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Crimson Sees Red

It’s almost a go home show tonight as they’ve spent more time building up to February 3rd than Against All Odds which is perfectly fine as 2/3 is a huge show.  Also, it’s nice to see TNA building up to a major event for weeks rather than hours.  When you do that, more people might actually watch.  Anyway, tonight we’ll likely be focusing on the new THEY and hopefully finding out some more about how Crimson is connected to this.  Also expect more about Angle vs. Jarrett.  Let’s get to it.

As usual we open with a recap of last week, mainly focusing on Jarrett/Angle and then Crimson.

Angle opens the show properly without music for some reason this week.  He talks about last week and everything that happened before moving on to how he made a promise not to wrestle again.  But sometimes there are things you have to deal with, and in this case it’s Jarrett.  He’s the best in the world and he does it for the people.  Would the people want to see Kurt in the ring one more time?  Based on the cheers it seems that they would.

Bischoff and Immortal come out and Bischoff says that there’s no way he’s wrestling again because he’s retired.  Kurt apparently needs to find a new hobby.  Eric sends Immortal down and they beat the heck out of Kurt.  Taz mentions that Eric took away the pyro and music so that’s covered.  Crimson runs in with a bat for the save and clears the ring.

Flair goes on a classic rant, saying that THEY is him, Bischoff and Hogan and are already here.  Hogan hasn’t been seen in two months but he’s still here I guess.  Flair, as Kurt’s god, lifts the ban on Angle wrestling and makes Angle vs. Jarrett tonight.  Jeff loses it but Flair finishes his statement and makes it Angle/Crimson vs. all of Immortal.  Flair’s face is beet red.  He screams more as we go to a break.

Back with Eric taking credit for making Angle says he’d retire if he lost.  “Ric, have you lost your mind?”  Flair of course responds with taking off his jacket, shouting at the top of his lungs and talking about Kool-Aid.  This is absolutely hilarious and I really don’t know if that’s intentional or not.

Dixie speaks tonight.

Sarita/Tara/Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Skye/Mickie James/Angelina Love

 

We see the Beautiful People in the back but Winter grabs Angelina and asks why are you doing this to us?  Love says chill because Velvet is my BFF.  Winter is crushed and screams, beating the tar out of a wall or something.  Dang it quit having the camera on anything other than Velvet during her entrance?  This is under elimination rules because a gimmick is needed in at least half the matches on a Russo show.

They brawl before the match starts and then we get a bell.  Tara vs. Angelina to start but it’s off to Sarita and Mickie soon.  Dixie is the topic of course and we get the legal ruling on Immortal and TNA next week.  Also she’s still President.  I’m assuming that means a figurehead spot at the moment?  Off to Velvet and Sarita now as Velvet is still obsessed with beating her.

Madison tries to come in but Mickie counters her.  Madison tries to load up the glove but is thrown out by Velvet.  The distraction allows Sarita to roll her up to make it 3-2.  Mickie gets in but is sent to the apron soon.  She gets rammed by Tara’s elbow pad and Madison comes in.  Madison is knocked down and falls on her own glove to knock herself out and Mickie gets the pin.  A second later Sarita rolls up Mickie to get us down to Angelina vs. Sarita/Tara.

Angelina gets a small package on Sarita for two as we take a break.  Back with Anelina vs. Sarita still.  Angelina reverses a belly to back and gets a spin kick for two.  They show a reply of the Madison elimination and see that she completely missed the glove that knocked her out but that’s an understandable error as fast as she was falling.  We cut to the back with Velvet on the ground holding her head.  Winter vs. Velvet for Angelina’s affections works for me.

Over to Tara now after a long body scissors by Angelina.  Tara lasts just a few seconds as it’s back to Sarita.  Sarita gets something close to a snap suplex for two.  We’re over 12 minutes into this match now with a lot of it being this handicap match.  I don’t remember a Knockouts match this long in awhile other than maybe the cage match.  The heels double team Angelina a bit but Love fights them off and hits the Botox Injection to Tara to make it 1-1.  Sarita gets a rollup reversed and Angelina gets the win at 13:35.

Rating: C-. The match got a lot better once we got down to 2-1.  The first half was incredibly sloppy and they were going too fast with the eliminations.  I’m not sure what the point was to it going so long but it wasn’t a bad match.  I like them having an angle in the division if not multiple angles too.  Nice to see that for a change.

Angle is on the phone with someone and says they have to accelerate their plans.  Kurt wants the person here tonight.

Back with Matt making fun of Anderson’s saying things twice deal.  Matt says Anderson won’t make it to February 3.  He also mentions having Cold Blood which gets some emphasis.

Kaz is at the announce table.  We’re going to have three triple threats over the next three weeks.  The winners will meet at Against All Odds for a final triple threat for the #1 contender spot.  Wow think they’re taking enough time getting to that?

Max Buck vs. Amazing Red vs. Chris Sabin

 

We get comments from everyone with Red saying he’s the original face of the X Division, Max saying it’s either his or his brother’s time and Sabin says destiny is knocking at his door (Kaz: wouldn’t that upset Velvet Sky?  Sabin and her date if that makes no sense).  It’s a wild match as you would expect to start with Max being sent to the floor a few times.

Big dive by Sabin takes out Red and it’s Max vs. Sabin in the ring.  A low dropkick gets two.  Surprisingly enough Kaz is the most entertaining part of this match.  Jeremy chokes Red on the floor for a bit.  That apparently doesn’t work as he gets a dropkick off the top to take out both guys.  Red gets his speed going to take down Max with a spinning DDT.  Red dives at Sabin who catches him in a suplex position and slams him down into a neckbreaker for two.

Max vs. Sabin now with a nice gymnastics routine resulting in a faceplant by Max which gets two for him.  Nice kind of sunset bomb by Red for two as Jeremy pops up so his brother can still win.  Red goes up but gets crotched by Jeremy.  Elevated DDT out of the corner by Max is enough to pin Red at 5:10.  Fun match.

Rating: B. Fun match indeed here in the vein of the old school Cruiserweight matches in WCW.  This was a spot fest and that’s exactly what the X Division should be.  These matches are great ways to get a crowd going and it was short enough to not get dull.  Fun match and exactly what it needed to be.

Karen is paranoid about Kurt being on the phone.  Jeff says to calm down but Karen is still worried.

Jeff Hardy is up next.

Back with Velvet saying she’s fed up with Winter who attacked her.  She tells Angelina to deal with Winter or she will.

We recap Jeff vs. Anderson and their feud to hype up next week.

Here’s Jeff.  I still don’t see him as a big star when I look at him.  I didn’t in WWE and I don’t here.  He yells at the fans and says that they’re all a bunch of smarks and internet junkies.  At BFG he took the title and the money because he is TNA.  Half the fans chant for him and half of them chant where’s your title.  Now let’s talk about the jerk.  Jeff says he’s going to win the title back next week and shove it in all the fans’ faces.  This was just…bad.  He sounded like a guy in OVW that has been around for three months.

Anderson comes down to the ring and holds up the title.  He says Jeff complains and moans a lot, sounding like Charlie Brown’s mom.  Everything in wrestling is about wins and losses apparently and right now Anderson has the big win.  Anderson says that even after what Hardy has put the fans through, they still like him.  Next week it’s all about the title and when the match is over, Anderson will still be the Total Nonstop Action Total Nonstop Anderson.  I’m not a fan of Anderson but he destroyed Hardy here.

Eliminate the Hate PSA.

Crimson says a few weeks ago he was here for his brother Red.  Recently though he was given an offer he couldn’t refuse.  Next week we’ll find out who that offer came from.  Could they make this any more obvious?

We get a recap of what Crimson has done.  Abyss is hurt badly apparently and is out indefinitely.  No word on the TV Title.

Here’s Velvet with no music.  She calls out Winter with a ton of profanity.  Winter comes out and Velvet drills her before she can get in.  This goes on for awhile until Winter beats her down with some shots.  Angelina finally comes out to break it up.  The fans chant She’s a Screamer.  I want to end the Impact Zone audience.

Pope is on his way to the ring as we take a break.

Here’s Pope who says that maybe he said some things that shouldn’t have been said but he said some things that should have been said.  Pope is pure which is why he always wears white.  Tonight he’s going to confess to something.  Pope talks about how so many people aren’t honest with themselves and don’t like the people they’re around.

He’s better than all of us apparently, so he’s going to kneel down and confess.  He gets about one knee down but pulls up saying that he doesn’t like Joe.  Pope goes on a rant saying he is going to fix things like he always has.  Next week someone is going to confess just like he did.

Flair is giving Fourtune a pep talk and for no apparent reason Eric Young is there.  Fourtune leaves and Eric stays.  Flair goes off on him and says the title Eric has means nothing.  Eric leaves saying good talk Ric.  This was kind of pointless.  The Eric aspect I mean.

Back with a recap of Hogan’s arrival in TNA and how it led to the whole THEY story.  When you condense it really well like this the angle actually looks and sounds pretty awesome.

Dixie is on the phone and says that the day in court will be next Thursday and we’ll hear the decision that night.  This phone call lasted all of 30 seconds.  So in other words control of a major company and a fraudulent contract signing can be settled in court in a single day along with the action of that day in court being enacted on the same day?

Eric offers a rebuttal, saying next week Immortal will get the gold back and Hogan is back too.

Matt Hardy vs. Mr. Anderson

 

Matt hammers Anderson down a bit but can’t get a move off the top.  He does manage to drape Anderson’s arm over the top though and gets a one arm DDT for two.  Anderson’s arm goes into the post while the announcers plug next week’s major show.  The top of Anderson’s calves near his legs are really pale.  Lots of arm work here but Anderson gets a spinning neckbreaker for two.

Anderson’s rolling fireman’s carry slam is reversed and Matt uses an FU for two.  Twist of Hate is countered into the rolling fireman’s carry slam for two.  Mic Check is blocked and there’s the Side Effect for two but Anderson rolls him up for the pin at 4:12.  That came out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. Quick match but pretty good here.  They used a lot of counters and it was pretty fast paced.  They kept this short which is probably a good thing at this point.  It gave Anderson a slight injury going into the title defense next week, so I have very few complaints here for once.

Post match Jeff comes out for the beatdown.  RVD runs out for the save but the Hardys get away.  You know maybe RVD would be able to sneak up on them better if he didn’t have loud music saying ROB VAN DAM as soon as he came out.

Angle and Crimson are coming to the ring.  Angle says they’re not alone out there.

Kurt Angle/Crimson vs. Immortal

 

Immortal here is represented by Beer Money/Kaz/Rob Terry and Gunner/Murphy.  AJ is in street clothes as is Flair.  They’re staying on the floor it seems.  No Jarrett?  AJ is on the apron now and you have to tag here.  The referee makes them switch corners for some reason.  It seems like they’re wasting time.  Crimson vs. Roode to start with Roode hammering him back in the corner.  Is this Crimson’s official debut?

He takes over on Roode very quickly with a shoulder block and a Falcon Arrow for two.  Off to Angle who gets only a moderate pop for his first official match in months.  Kaz comes in and Angle takes over.  Off to Storm now who takes a suplex.  Angle knocks all of Immortal off the apron but Storm is able to hit a Backstabber.  Superkick misses and down goes the referee.

Angle Slam to Storm and it breaks down rather quickly.  With Angle in trouble we get Jarrett’s music.  He and Karen come out and Jeff wants Kurt on his own.  Kurt easily grabs a German but Immortal beats him down.  I’m assuming the match was thrown out at some point earlier.  Stroke to Angle and Jackson James runs out for the pin at 3:35.  No rating as the vast majority was a big beatdown.

Morgan runs out as apparently the call recipient.  I was wondering where he was tonight.  The numbers catch up with him though…and there go the lights.  A siren goes off and SCOTT STEINER is back, pipe in hand.  He clears the ring to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was very similar to Raw in that the only point of it was to build up to the big show.  In that sends it certainly worked, but at the same time the lack of wrestling hurts it a bit.  This was good for a go home show but as a regular show it wasn’t that great overall.  I want to see the show next week though, so that’s definitely a win for them.

Also I won’t be here for the review next week so I’ll see you in two weeks.

Results

Angelina Love/Velvet Sky/Mickie James b. Tara/Madison Rayne/Sarita – Angelina last eliminated Sarita to win
Max Buck b. Amazing Red and Chris Sabin – Elevated DDT to Red
Mr. Anderson b. Matt Hardy – Cradle
Immortal b. Kurt Angle/Crimson – Stroke to Angle




Impact: January 20, 2011 – All Angle All The Time!

Impact
Date: January 20, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: Dirty Laundry

We’re now two weeks away from February 3 which is of course a big deal because I turn 23!  Clearly that’s why the show is a big deal right?  Oh and Hogan and THEY will be there.  There’s talk of a title match there too.  Maybe it’s not because of my birthday after all.  Anyway now that I’ve filled in the intro space, I’m rather excited about tonight’s show as I found last week’s good as I’ve found the last few weeks.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of Angle/the Jarretts from last week.  I still don’t get why Karen wanted to wait until this week instead of just saying what she has to say last week.

Angle gets here and walks past the production area, demanding his music be played right now.  If I’m not mistaken, Jimmy Hart was there working on the production team.  Awesome indeed.  Angle hits the arena and says that this is about him and Jeff, not him and Karen.  He talks about how Karen was always around Jarrett and she said it was always business.

Then a few months ago Jeff started talking about it all the time and rubbing it in Kurt’s face.  Big old nastycut on Kurt’s head.  The salt and pepper beard works on him.  He starts crying as he talks about how he was a good husband and father.  Kurt talks about how the only thing he’s guilty of is not being around enough but that was because he wanted his family to have everything they deserved.

Kurt says he and Karen can either bury the hatchet for the sake of their kids or on the other hand if she doesn’t let it go, he’ll pull out every skeleton in her closet.  Jarrett’s music hits and here comes Team Jarrett.  You know, because they’ve had SO much success against him before.  None of them can even get in the ring as Kurt knocks them all down while they’re on the apron.

Here are Bischoff and Flair, the real stars of the show.  They bring out five or six cops to arrest Kurt.  For once this makes sense as he’s not an active wrestler so why should he be in there?  Jeff and Karen aren’t here yet as we take a break.

The Jarretts get here and are sad about Kurt being gone.

Sarita vs. Velvet Sky vs. Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne

 

This is non-title I guess.  Madison has the left hand gloved again.  Velvet and Mickie argue over what pairing to start with so they start instead.  Wait you have to tag?  Mickie and Madison start for a bit but Sarita replaces Madison very quickly.  Nice nip-up by Mickie but Velvet tags herself in.  This tagging thing is kind of awkward as it looks like a tag match.

Velvet gets a nice headscissors on Sarita but Madison comes in to beat her down.  It turns into a de facto tag match as Mickie and Madison work together.  Nice arm drag out of a wheelbarrow by Velvet to Sarita.  Mickie and Sarita are left in the ring and mickie goes up.  Tara pops up to blast Mickie with the arm brace.  Sarita and Velvet smack heads and Madison loads up the glove.  She hits Velvet and Mickie rolls up Madison for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: D+. For a fatal fourway, this was awful.  For a tag match, this was ok.  I have no idea what the fourway aspect of this was there for as a tag match would have made perfect sense and probably more sense actually.  The match was ok and it sets up another Madison vs. Mickie match so I guess that was ok.

Beer Money says they’re ready for Anderson and RVD tonight.

Angle is still walking around in the back like nothing ever happened to him.

Back and Joe is sending Okada (guy that signed from I think NJPW a good while ago and has only been on Xplosion to this point I think) out as his spy on Pope.  If I’m not mistaken (and I very well may be) he was dressed like Kato from Green Hornet.  I wouldn’t have known who he was if not for Taz.

Matt Morgan vs. Rob Terry

 

Before this starts Flair says there isn’t a woman in the place that could last with Terry, not even all three of the good looking women in the front row.  Carbon Footprint ends this in 7 seconds.  Was there ANY point to this?  Flair goes after Morgan post match and can’t hurt him at all.  Abyss comes out and beats down Morgan a bit but Morgan fights off all three guys with ease.

Morgan yells at Flair and gets beaten….never mind as he beats down the enforcer and the TV Champion on his own.  They try to take him down a third time and FINALLY they get him down with a chop block.  A double chokeslam ends Morgan and Immortal stands tall.

Mike and Taz welcome us to the show, 35 minutes in.  They talk about the January 4th Tokyo Dome show and we get some clips of it.

Hardy vs. Dreamer later.  Wow he still has a job?  You pick which I mean by that.

Kaz and AJ talk about Bischoff and praise Fourtune.  Kaz leaves and Crimson chokes down AJ and says that THEY are coming again.

Back and Angle is still wandering around.  Does no one watch these feeds?

X-Division Title: Jay Lethal vs. Kazarian

 

So on Lethal’s business card does it say X-Division challenger?  Lethal jumps him and it’s on early.  Lethal gets his cartwheel into seated dropkick spot and Kaz tries to leave.  Jay will have none of that though and the fight is on the floor.  The Jarrett segment will be next.  Kaz is thrown back in the ring and Lethal takes him down with a springboard missile dropkick for two.

Lethal Injection is blocked and Kaz fires off a nice three-kick combination.  Handspring elbow takes down Kaz and the Lethal Combination does the same.  Another nip-up tonight as Lethal pulls one off.  He points to the wrong corner and then goes up for the elbow.  After taking long enough to write a short novel he connects anyway.

Kaz rolls out to the floor and appears to be out cold.  Jay gets him back in but Kaz rakes his eyes.  It doesn’t seem to do much as Lethal gets a sunset flip but Kaz grabs the ropes for leverage to get the pin at 4:35.  The idea here again is that Jackson James, the referee, missed it again.  This is despite the fact that you can see he couldn’t see it from the perfect angle he was in.

Rating: C. Totally average match here that was nothing special.  The X-Division is painfully uninteresting at this point as it’s more or less just Lethal challenging whatever heel has the title at this point.  At least they seem to have dropped Robbie though.  Anyway this was seemingly just there to fill in time and had next to nothing special going on with it, although it wasn’t bad.  Call it acceptable if nothing else.

RVD, Anderson and Dreamer talk about how they all want Hardy but only Dreamer got him.  They exchange each others’ nicknames and that’s pretty much it.

 

The Jarretts are up next.

Kurt sneaks back into the arena.  Good thing there was a camera right there to catch it.

 

Here are Karen and Jeff.  Jeff talks about how awesome she is and she does look great tonight.  The fans chant sloppy seconds.  Karen is a victim here, a victim of Kurt Angle.  She points out that since Jeff is part owner of the company, she is too (not said but heavily implied).  Her voice is somehow more annoying than Vickie’s.  She says let’s go back to 1997 when Kurt was a lost little puppy.

Kurt pops up behind then and hits Jeff with a German.  Karen tries to take her shoe off but Kurt stops her.  They have a staredown and she slaps him.  Jeff gets a low blow to Kurt and the fans finally wake up a bit.  He hammers Kurt and tries to open up that cut on his head.  No such luck it seems but Kurt is left almost in the fetal position on the mat as the Jarretts leave and we take a break.

 

Eliminate the hate, as told to you by a group of men and women that solve their problems with their fists and say mean things about how they’re going to hurt each other.

 

In the back Angle destroys a bunch of stuff.  Again, if the police took him out earlier, why in the world aren’t they doing so now?

Tommy Dreamer vs. Jeff Hardy

 

I have a great new drinking game for you: every time TNA cuts to a different camera angle, take a shot.  I’ve counted eleven in the first 40 seconds of this match.  Dreamer takes it to the floor early and controls.  We get an ad for the world title match on February 3rd.  Gee wouldn’t it be great if that had been the first title match instead of throwing it on the end of a PPV completely unadvertised?  Hardy whips Dreamer off the apron and takes over.

Dreamer’s wrist may not be at 100% still.  Jeff hammers away for a bit but here comes Tommy.  It’s a good thing I didn’t play my own drinking game or I’d be dead from alcohol poisoning already.  Dreamer goes to the middle rope but jumps into the Twist.  Dreamer reverses into the Dreamer Driver (thank goodness it’s not that stupid Spicolli name) which gets two.  And there’s the Twist of Hate to end it at 4:18.  It’s as abrupt as it sounds.  Oh apparently Tommy got low blowed.

Rating: C+. Are we just not allowed to go past four and a half minutes tonight?  I had this rated lower earlier but the point here was to reestablish Jeff’s dominance heading into the world title match and on that front it was a success.  Nothing special again but it was fine for what it was: a quick match to make Jeff look good.

Angle now has a baseball bat.  What is this, his 6th time on camera tonight?

Back and Pope is talking to someone about just getting back.  He goes into an office and talks to a guy on a computer about some overseas transactions.  Apparently he doesn’t notice the camera guy looking into the room with a camera despite looking at the door.  He calls the guy’s phone which the camera picks up and steals the laptop.  So Pope is like a crime boss now or something?

AJ is talking to Flair about how THEY are coming and Flair says THEY are here and he is God.  Flair ices AJ and he’s ticked as goodness about it.  The alcohol burns his throat and he has to stop.  Kurt drills him with the bat and comes after Flair with it.  He chokes Flair down and says have Jarrett in the Impact Zone or he’s coming after Flair next.

So Kurt opened the show, was shown in the back three times, had an in ring segment, had another two backstage moments, jumped Flair and is going to close the show.  You think that’s enough for a guy that isn’t a wrestler?

Beer Money vs. Rob Van Dam/Mr. Anderson

 

Non-Title here again.  Anderson does his thing pre-match. Beer Money hits the floor and we take a break before the bell.  Roode and Van Dam start us off.  Standing moonsault gets two.  Off to Storm and Anderson with the champion dominating.  We get the fake tag with Storm slapping his hands together so Roode can come in and the referee is fine with it.  If this referee is supposed to be awful, why would he keep getting main event refereeing assignments?

Back over to Storm who works Anderson over a bit.  Hey we broke four and a half minutes for the first time tonight!  On the crawl for house shows, they’re holding a show on the night of their big show, February 3rd.  Doesn’t that seem a little counteractive?  Anderson can’t get the Mic Check but can get a DDT to bring in Van Dam.  Storm is tagged in as well.

RVD takes out both champions with ease and it’s not quite Rolling Thunder as Roode makes the save.  Storm gets a Backstabber for two.  Anderson comes in and everyone is in at once.  Scratch that as Anderson and Roode go outside.  RVD heads up and it’s a Five Star for Storm.  Jeff hardy comes out to distract the referee though and there’s no cover.  Matt Hardy, looking like a homeless man, comes in with a Twist of Hate so that Storm can get the pin at 8:10.

Rating: C. This was your run of the mill main event tag match here.  It’s not bad but it’s nothing we haven’t see a dozen times?  Thankfully we didn’t have Anderson get pinned a second time.  This was probably the best possible outcome and it worked pretty well for the most part.  Decent main event.

Kendrick tries to calm down Ray (after almost getting killed for calling him Brother instead of Bully) with some breathing techniques.  He slams Kendrick into a locker in the textbook definition of a pointless segment.

Flair and Bischoff send Jarrett to the ring with Eric saying he’s got this.

Here’s D-Von.  Yes, this is the second to last segment on the show: D-Von Dudley yelling at Bubba.  Ray comes out and stands on the ramp.  Kendrick runs down the ramp and sends Bubba into the ring.  Bubba pulls out a chain but D-Von beats him to the punch.  D-Von gets the chain and security stops him.  Bubba beats up security after knocking down D-Von.  He puts a chair around the head of D-Von and swings the chain down onto it to leave D-Von laying.

Kurt is up next.

Back with Angle in the ring for the third time tonight.  Here comes Jeff in his gear along with Gunner and Murphy.  Wow he got changed quickly.  The goons hit the ring and Kurt beats on them for the 9000th time.  Why can’t a body guard ever be successful in their defense of someone?  They slow him down a bit so I guess they did their job.  Jarrett comes in and it’s a 3-1 beatdown.

And so much for that as Angle takes down both guards and Jeff.  Kurt slaps on a choke and Karen runs out.  Kaz and Fourtune/Immortal come in for the save.  No Abyss for some reason.  AJ throws a single punch and that’s about all he’s able to do on his bad leg.  Here’s Abyss coming down the ramp with his arms open.  He hits his knees and Janice is stuck in his back!  Crimson comes out and stands over him, saying THEY are coming.  Angle clears the ring and grabs a quick ankle lock on Flair to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. Well the wrestling was uh…short tonight.  The stories were advanced though, which is kind of the important part I suppose.  The main thing holding this show back though is Angle vs. Jarrett.  That is probably 20-30% of this entire show, and that’s WAY too much.  They had probably 15 combined appearances tonight and two showdowns.  This was all about them.  If you’re not a fan of that story, you hated this show.  That’s a dangerous style to use as it’s hit or miss.  The show wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t as good as the previous two weeks.

Results

Mickie James b. Sarita, Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky – Rollup to Rayne

Matt Morgan b. Rob Terry – Carbon Footprint

Kazarian b. Jay Lethal – Cradle

Jeff Hardy b. Tommy Dreamer – Twist of Hate

Beer Money b. Rob Van Dam/Mr. Anderson – Storm pinned Van Dam after a Twist of Hate from Matt Hardy




Impact – January 13, 2011 – THEY Are Coming?

Impact
Date: January 13, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: The One That Got Away

It’s the first Impact after Genesis and things are looking a bit different. Mr. Anderson is the new world champion following an unannounced title match and title switch at Genesis which I’ll spare you my thoughts on because I’ll yet again be told I don’t get it or I’m an idiot or I don’t like the company or some other short sighted answer like that. Anyway, also at Genesis we saw the debut of Matt Hardy which already is forming our main event tonight. It should be interesting to see where TNA goes from here so let’s get to it.

The opening video is of Genesis from Sunday.  Featured are Angle vs. Jarrett and the announcement of the retirement party plus the whole world title scenario.  Anderson is considering giving Morgan the first title shot but isn’t sure.  Also he hates the look of the belt.

Jarrett and Karen got here earlier today.

Here’s Anderson who says that he’s worked forever to attain his dream.  He was hired over there and was the next world champion.  Anderson beat ten world champions but a little birdy (said in a HHH voice) got into the boss’ (Vince) head and said that he isn’t ready for it.  After being told everything he couldn’t do over there, he got a call from Eric Bischoff.

Eric, Hogan, Dixie and Russo told him he could be himself and now he’s the jerk that he is today.  This jerk just became the TNA World Heavyweight Champion.  He could have done it without the fans but he’ll thank them anyway.  The other jerk that he has to thank is Matt Morgan so could he please come out here.

Morgan comes out and Anderson thanks him.  Morgan says that the only reason Anderson has that title around his waist (Anderson: “It’s not around my waist.”) is because Morgan let himself down.  All Matt is thinking about is how to get the title and his next shot.  2011 is the year of the Blueprint and he’s coming for the title.  He’s being serious but civil/respectful here.  Anderson earned it and Morgan’s hat is off to him.  Morgan shakes his head and leaves.

Before we can go to a break here’s Bischoff.  He wants to know who Anderson thinks he is.  The only thing he accomplished is putting a bull’s-eye on his back.  Eric says mark his calendar for February 3rd, 2011 (my birthday) that on Impact Hardy is getting his rematch and Hogan will be back.

Anderson gets in Eric’s face and Hardy pops up on the screen and says that in three weeks he gets his title back.  RVD jumps Hardy but the other Hardy makes the save.  Anderson runs off to make the save for RVD and luckily the interview area is right behind the curtain.  The rest of Immortal comes in to beat down Anderson and RVD.  The guys being laid out takes us to our first break.

Back and the main event is announced of Hardys vs. Anderson/RVD.  Can’t argue with the logic there.

We see Karen and Jeff Jarrett going into Immortal’s locker room and closing the door.

Tag Titles: Beer Money vs. Motor City Machineguns

 

Oh look: it’s this match again.  I get that it’s a good pairing, but can we PLEASE get a fresh team in there?  This TNA’s tag division is awesome theory is bogus.  Before they go to the Guns say to expect a good match.  The Guns hit the ring and it’s on early.  Tonight is the first of four weeks of Genesis rematches.  Well of course.  I mean it’s not like it’s supposed to mean anything to buy the PPV right?  Why buy it when you can just see the big matches over the next month?  What a great way to get fans to buy future shows!

After a big beatdown by the Guns a trip up of Shelley gives Beer Money control and we get down to a traditional match.  It’s my first night watching the show in HD and it makes the ring look much smaller.  Off to a chinlock by Storm on Sabin.  Double tag brings in Shelley and a double stomp gets two on Roode who Tazz thinks is Storm for some reason.

Here comes the double teaming by the Guns which is fun to watch as usual.  Skull and Bones hit Roode.  Storm is busted open.  Elevated DDT a la Orton takes down Sabin.  Shelley sets for a superplex but Storm pulls him down into the Eye of the Storm.  Shelley counters but gets caught in what looked like a TKO and a splash from Roode for two.  DWI can’t hit and here comes Sabin.  The Guns hit a combination downward spiral/missile dropkick but Shelly accidentally kicks Sabin on the ASCS Rush and DWI ends Shelley at 7:50.

Rating: B. Usual good match from these teams but the division is dying for new teams.  These two teams have had so many matches that while good are getting a bit monotonous.  If they’re planning a split between the Guns I question their sanity as they’re more or less the only serious face team the company has.  This was one of their weaker matches but certainly still good.

Jarrett is nervous about something after coming out of Immortal’s locker room.

Kurt gets here.

Back and RVD and Anderson aren’t happy about getting beaten down and say they need to take the fight to them.  Anderson has the same blood on his head that he had in the promo from after the PPV.  Did he not take a shower since then?  They grab some weapons which are a chair for RVD and what looked like a big board for Anderson.

Pope is here and the money is able to rain down from the ceiling again.  His hair looks kind of different and I think it’s braided now or something.  He talks about how Joe has been following him around and he hasn’t done anything wrong.  Pope says he’s a Pope that the people can look up to.  He forgives Joe but wants to know what would happen if the roles were reversed and Pope was following Joe.  Well apparently he did just that and we’re going to look at the Dixietron to see what Joe and his wife look like.

And it’s a picture of two pigs mating.  Next up is a picture of Joe’s wife giving birth and it’s a video of a pig nursing it’s babies.  Here comes Joe and Pope bails.  Uh, what’s stopping Joe from going after him?  Joe grabs the mic and says that for a man that is always pimping, he always runs like a little whiny an.  At some point in the future, Joe is coming after him and Joe’s Gonna Kill You.

RVD and Anderson storm the Immortal locker room and find Beer Money.  I didn’t see the previously mentioned weapons with them but whatever.  The door closes and sound effects imply a big old beatdown.  Anderson and RVD walk out and say that’s two down and now they’re looking for the Hardys.  Van Dam does have his chair with him as they leave so I’d assume he had it when he goes in.

Back with Eric, Flair and AJ talking about how to get the title off Anderson.  AJ wants to be able to soften him up but Flair says no because he needs to heal.  They walk into the locker room and find Beer Money down and Flair says Jesus a lot.  If they want a war they’ve got one.

We recap Jarrett vs. Angle which is one of the longest running feuds in company history.  And it’s still just a tease as Jarrett and Karen talk about how on Sunday Angle took it too far so tonight Jarrett is going to hang up his MMA boots.

Angle says that he and his ex have some catching up to do.

Here comes Jeff for his retirement party.  If nothing else we can look at Karen.  Maybe we can’t actually as Jarrett comes out with the security dudes.  Has he always had that mustache?  A guy in an Elmo shirt yells at Jarrett.  No idea why but that made me laugh.  He says that no one has come close to defeating him in an MMA fight and he’s certainly never lost.

At Genesis he could have injured Kurt but he didn’t.  He has nothing left to prove in MMA so he’s done.  Behind every great warrior there’s a great woman so here’s Karen.  Instead we get Kurt so Jarrett sends out the security dudes again.  They work about as well as an umbrella in a hurricane so Angle storms the ring.  After hitting Germans on Gunner and Murphy he corners Jarrett but here’s Karen with a mic of her own.

The distraction lets Jarrett get away.  In a voice that could make Vickie Guerrero jealous, she talks about how Kurt has played games with their personal lives and he’s not going to steal their happiness anymore.  Next week she’s going to tell her side of the story.  Uh, why not say it now?  You have a mic, you have him in front of you and your husband right next to you.  What’s stopping you honey?  Whatever as we go to another break.

Back with Angle cursing up a storm and breaking a lot of stuff.

Holy crap it’s a wrestling match!

Knockouts Tag Titles: Tara/Madison Rayne vs. Winter/Angelina Love

 

Is there any reason to have these belts anymore?  We barely have enough girls for a singles title let alone tag belts.  Before the champions come to the ring Velvet rants about Winter and for some reason is surprised that she’s here for the title defense.  After the referee holds up the titles for a very long time we’re ready to go.  Angelina vs. Madison to start.  Angelina gets two rollups to start and dominates this part of the match.

Madison has that glove on her hand which is apparently loaded.  Off to Tara for some double teaming.  After about a minute and a half here’s Mickie to pull Madison out and drill Tara as well.  Mickie tries to get the glove off Madison and chases her out of the arena.  Bicycle Kick to Tara takes her down and Winter adds a double axe from the top.  She snaps and gets a choke on Tara for the submission/pass out at 3:00.  No rating as probably half of this was Mickie’s involvement.

The Hardys, from behind a cage no less, say that the business is all about making money and they’re blood, rather than a thief and a wrestler paired together.

Matt Morgan vs. Abyss

 

Non-title of course because you don’t want to have the TV Title defended on TV right?  Morgan charges right ahead and beats on Abyss for about a minute but can’t hit the Carbon Footprint due to a distraction for Flair.  A corner charge by the champion eats elbow but he gets a clothesline to Morgan to keep control.  He takes too long on another charge though and gets caught by a Discus Lariat.  Chokeslam by Abyss is blocked and the Carbon Footprint hits.  Flair tries to save but can’t stop the count and Morgan gets the pin at 3:20.

Post match Flair goes after Morgan but gets caught.  Terry comes down and it’s a 3-1 beatdown.

Rating: D+. This was watchable but not much more.  Great to see a new champion get pinned in less than 4 minutes despite attempted interference.  I get that they need to keep Morgan strong, so maybe they shouldn’t have booked him against a champion?  Just a thought.  Anyway this was nothing special at all and was just to set up the beatdown post match.

After a break Abyss is in the back and someone (might have been Tommy Mercer/Red’s brother) jumps Abyss and says that on February 3rd they’re coming for every member of Immortal.  He chokes Abyss out and leaves him laying.

Tenay and Tazz confirm that it was him and his name is apparently Crimson.

Abyss goes into the locker room to talk to Eric but he’s talking to the Hardys so it has to be later.  Eric says that everything goes down on February 3rd.  After the Hardys leave Abyss tells them what happed.  Eric and Flair say he’s having a flashback because Immortal is already here.

Hardys vs. Rob Van Dam/Mr. Anderson

 

It’s 10:38 when the entrances start so there’s a lot of time for this.  Back and the non-brothers go straight for the Hardys in the aisle.  Oddly enough RVD goes after Matt.  We get the bell and it’s on with a big brawl.  We get it down to an actual match with RVD vs. Matt.  I can’t say Hardy anymore which is taking some getting used to.  Matt hammers away in the corner as the bare arms look isn’t working for him at all.

Tenay tells us that Matt is officially in Immortal which I think was pretty clear but it’s nice to have it be made official.  Jeff and Anderson in now and Jeff reopens the wound on Anderson’s head.  Tenay suggest that if the Hardys had stayed together they might be recognized as the best tag team ever.  They weren’t even the best team in the company back in the day.

Matt goes up and misses a moonsault.  In a related story, Florida’s ground has been pushed into the ground by 9 feet.  We take a break after RVD dives on the Hardys on the floor.  Back with RVD hammering on Matt.  After some Jeff interference a Side Effect gets two.  Off to Anderson vs. Jeff again and there’s the Mic Check with ease.  Matt saves but it was kind of odd to see him hit it that easily.

Matt sets for the Twist but Anderson fights out of it.  Down goes the referee and Matt gets a Mic Check of his own.  Instead they just beat down the Hardys but Beer Money comes out to uneven the odds.  After the big beating from Beer Money the Twist and Swanton pin Anderson at 13:50.  Great way to treat your world champion in his first match as champion.

Rating: C. This was your basic main event tag match with a screwy finish.  I really don’t like Anderson getting pinned and Immortal standing tall again but they’re setting up for three weeks from now which should be a good thing at least.  The match wasn’t anything great at all but it certainly worked for a main event and thankfully got some time.  Right in the middle here.

Immortal hits the ring to beat the guys down and stand tall as the show ends.

Overall Rating: B. The lack of wrestling is really the only thing holding this back.  Well that and the champions getting pinned twice.  I quite liked this show overall as it seems we’re away from the whole Immortal dominance thing and are shifting over to the THEY are coming again.  I like this for once as it’s a nice bit of continuity to the big storyline.  I’m interested in seeing where this is going, which is exactly the point of what they’re trying to do.  Good show and a good sign of things to come hopefully.

Results

Beer Money b. Motor City Machineguns – DWI to Shelley

Angelina Love/Winter b. Tara/Madison Rayne – Winter choked Tara out

Matt Morgan b. Abyss – Carbon Footprint

The Hardys b. Rob Van Dam/Mr. Anderson – Swanton Bomb to Anderson




Impact – January 6, 2011

Impact
Date: January 6, 2011
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tazz
Episode Title: Genesis….the Beginning…or the End?

It’s the go home show for Genesis where the card is more or less complete I think barring maybe a match or two being added tonight. Hopefully Impact can keep up what it’s been doing recently of having good television. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the whole Morgan vs. Anderson issue with Foley being worried about Anderson and how bad his head might be. This is mainly focused on Morgan hitting Anderson and getting the pin after the shot to his head.

Immortal opens the show in the arena with Bischoff talking about how Genesis is the beginning. He promises nothing underhanded in the title matches on Sunday where he’s put a bounty on all the titles. Tonight is a night of champions apparently. Bischoff wants to talk to some champions, starting with Lethal.

The X-Division Champion comes out looking rather cocky. Bischoff says that with that attitude he can’t guarantee that Immortal will be good to him. Jay gets in rather hesitantly. Here come the Guns by invitation also. Finally it’s Williams who is very skeptical as well. Bischoff talks about how these people are going to steal the show on Sunday because that’s what champions do.

He makes matches for later: Lethal vs. Abyss, Guns vs. AJ/Kaz and Williams Rob Terry. The Guns have an issue with shaking AJ’s hand. There’s no handshake as it breaks down into a brawl. Bischoff acting all calm with the mic is funny for some reason. Van Dam comes in for the save and Immortal scatters.

Van Dam demands Jeff Hardy again to Bischoff and also wants to know who the opponent is. Bischoff says he’ll say when he’s good and ready. Van Dam says he’ll find out tonight.

Ray talks about how he’s been using D-Von for 15 years and challenges D-Von to a fight in the parking lot right now as we go to a break.

Back with a quick recap of last week’s Tommy Mercer vs. Jarrett in the MMA challenger. Here’s Jarrett with Angle’s entrance still. He announces the tweeks that were made to the competition last week and are official tonight. First up, they have to be his size or shorter. Also it’s an exhibition, so I’m not sure if the money is still going or not. Apparently it isn’t.

Someone from the Twilight Saga is here. Egads you can’t escape the freaking things. The guy is something called a junior black belt. It’s not happening though because his dad is taller than Jeff so the other guy isn’t eligible. Jarrett sees a fan in the back that works here. Naturally it’s a massacre with Jarrett beating the tar out of him and ending him with the ankle lock.

He won’t let go of the hold though and here’s Kurt Angle! He’s back and gets after Jarrett to break up the hold. Why is it that wrestling security will let people jump the guard rail so often? As Punk says, security here sucks. Angle says he’s about the same height as Jarrett and since it’s an exhibition he’s not breaking his promise of not wrestling. The showdown is made for Genesis as we take a break.

Back with a brief recap of what we just saw.

Motor City Machineguns vs. AJ Styles/Kazarian

The Guns jump them to start as they’re such nice guys. After a skirmish on the floor we start with Sabin vs. AJ in the ring. Double teaming and chops have Sabin in big trouble. Kaz has a thing for slingshot legdrops as two of them both get two. The announcers would rather talk about the PPV than the match which is something I’ve never been a fan of at all.

Sabin finally gets loose and we get double tags to bring in AJ and Shelley. Shelley gets rid of Kaz to get us down to Shelley s. AJ. This works for me. Rolling Chaos doesn’t work for AJ but he manages to counter Sliced Bread. The moonsault into a reverse DDT by AJ can’t hit either. A belt shot misses and Sliced Bread #2 finishes AJ at 4:50.

Back with a brief recap of what we just saw.

Rating: B-. This was very short for who you had in ther ebut it was certainly fun. I think they’re trying to push the idea of AJ being on the verge of getting thrown out of the group which is fine. The Guns getting a clean win like that over a big name is a great thing to see. Fun little match.

Post match Beer Money beats down the Guns.

Pope is going to call out whomever is following him around.

After another break AJ is getting chewed out by Bischoff saying it’s not as simple as it sounds. Flair says that they just want AJ to be the best he can be. AJ asks if Flair won every match he was in and Flair says no. Eric says it’s not about Flair and more or less says again that if AJ doesn’t get the TV Title on Sunday he’s gone.

Pope is in the ring to address being followed everywhere. He yells about the invasion of privacy and wants the guy to come out here right now. And it’s….Joe? Joe talks about how we’ve seen Pope in the back of the strip club and how no one has gotten their stuff at orphanages and shelters and how there are no puppies there.

Pope goes on a rant talking about how he’s been judged all his life and how he doesn’t need a Samoan in his way now. He has reasons for everything going on, including that he’s just talking to the strippers and telling them that they don’t have to do this to make a buck. His answer for the dog thing is more or less that he loves pit bulls and kids would too. That doesn’t really address Joe saying the kids don’t have them. Pope has spoken though so that’s that.

Sarita/Madison Rayne vs. Velvet Sky/Mickie James

Velvet and Sarita start us off. Always a fan of these tags that get both feuds into a single match as they’re as good of a way to save time as I can think of. Madison breaks up the momentum as we get a great back shot of Sarita. Rayne chokes away at Velvet while Tenay teases Tazz about a slip of the tongue that wasn’t funny.

Rayne keeps making sure Mickie can’t get in because she knows Mickie would destroy her. She does her mat humping move which rams Velvet’s head into the mat. Off to Sarita again with Velvet getting a jumping DDT to counter. Mickie comes in illegally and beats up the champion for awhile. While the referee tries to get her out, Tara pops Velvet with the elbow brace and a punch from Madison lets Sarita get the pin in 4:45.

Rating: C+. This was better than I expected actually. They played up both angles here and did it rather efficiently indeed. The girls looked good, the wrestling wasn’t bad and the angles were given a bit of time. I think I’ve talked myself into giving it a slightly higher grade. Not bad at all.

RVD is talking to Bischoff and he still wants Hardy. Eric gives him a match tonight but won’t say against who. RVD says ok and Hardy is next.

Rob Terry vs. Douglas Williams

Tazz touches on the former alliance here in some nice continuity. Shame that’s such a rarity in wrestling anymore. Doug tries to use some speed moves to start us off. Cravate sets up some knees to the head which Terry simply shrugs off. And here’s AJ to destroy Williams in maybe a minute. He slams Doug’s hand into the steps and post to destroy it before the PPV.

Bubba is heading to the parking lot.

Back with Bubba in the parking lot and D-Von is ready to go. Security holds them back while Bubba runs his mouth. They stay separated until Bubba gets a cheap shot. He says D-Von should think of himself and not show up Sunday for the sake of his kids.

Jarrett says he has a plan for Sunday and an insurance policy. Eric wants to have RVD taken care of tonight and makes a No DQ match which Jarrett seems happy with.

Abyss vs. Jay Lethal

We take a break before the match starts. This is non-title of course because you wouldn’t have a big guy like Abyss go after a title that has no weight limit right? Why would you want your monster to try to claim a title in a match that on paper shouldn’t be a challenge for him? Lethal uses lots of hit and run offense and gets a missile dropkick for two.

Abyss takes over with power but misses a quick splash in the corner. And never mind as the Black Hole Slam kills Lethal. Abyss pauses before covering though and pulls Lethal up at two. Apparently Immortal wants Abyss to soften up Lethal so that Kaz can take the title. Why not have Abyss take the title if he can destroy Lethal that easily? Anyway he chokes in the corner a bit too long and it’s a DQ at 3:40.

Rating: D+. Let’s see. Lethal more or less got destroyed, the lack of this being a title match makes little sense given that Bischoff said get all titles no matter what so there’s no reason to insist on having Kaz get it when Abyss easily could have apparently, and the match was way too short. Weak match.

Kaz comes out and has Abyss hold up Lethal so he can look him in the eye, even though he’s more or less dead.

We get a music video hyping up the PPV and running down the card.

There’s a sitdown interview with Morgan and Anderson which is almost all about the head injury. Morgan says Anderson should be careful while Anderson says wrestlers get injured. Morgan asks who has seen the paperwork saying Anderson is ok and Anderson says it’s none of his business. Tenay wants to know if Anderson is working everyone. Anderson says you’ll find out at Genesis. They stare each other down to end this.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Rob Van Dam

Remember this is No DQ. Jarrett tries to kick with RVD for no apparent reason. He hits what looked a bit like a Superman punch which is about all of his offense for the opening part of this match. Rolling Thunder is aborted as Jarrett hits the floor for a bit. He takes a few laps around the ring and comes back in to get knocked down again.

Murphy trips Van Dam up and Jarrett takes over. If it’s No DQ, why don’t they just come in and pummel him? After some more basic offense they do just that. RVD gets a chair but the numbers are too much for him. RVD fights them off for a bit but Hardy runs in for his cameo and the Twist of Hate ends this at about 5:30.

Rating: C. We’ll say this is right in the middle as they got the psychology correct by having Jarrett’s goons run in for the help somewhat shortly into this. Not a great match at all but the thinking worked and it was kind of entertaining. This was ok and it set up the ending stuff well enough.

Morgan comes out to save RVD as Hardy gets the chair. Anderson comes out and swings the chair, naturally hitting Morgan. He gets all ticked off to end the show.

Overall Rating: B-. The lack of wrestling hurt this a lot. This was a very good go home show that I would have put up probably a full letter higher if the in ring stuff had been more prolific and a bit better. Everything on the PPV got at least some time tonight and I’m kind of interested in what looks like a pretty weak PPV on paper. Not a great show in general, but a very good go home show.

Results
Motor City Machineguns b. Kazarian/AJ Styles – Sliced Bread #2 to Styles
Sarita/Madison Rayne b. Velvet Sky/Mickie James – Punch to Sky
Douglas Williams b. Rob Terry via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Jay Lethal b. Abyss via DQ when Abyss refused to break a choke hold
Jeff Jarrett b. Rob Van Dam – Twist of Hate from Jeff Hardy




Impact – December 30, 2010

Impact
Date: December 30, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Taz
Episode Title: The Con Game

It’s the final Impact of the year and we have two more shows to go before Genesis.  Nothing has been announced that I’m aware of so everything tonight is going to be new to a degree.  Hopefully they can continue having good stuff like they did last week.  Let’s get to it.

We open with clips from last week of Foley talking to Bischoff and Flair about how everything is screwed up because of Foley and the hardcore stuff he’s done.  Foley wants to be part of the solution now instead of part of the problem.

Foley is in the Impact Zone.  He wants to talk to Anderson face to face.  Foley talks about how they met at a military hospital along with Miss America.  He mentioned this in his fourth book.  There was an odd bit of wording from her as she said, “You do me first then I’ll do both of you.”  I’ll let you figure out what they were talking about.

Mick says that he’s going to say something that he wished someone had said to him.  In essence he asks Anderson to make sure he’s ok because the repercussions of a concussion (say that three times fast) are life long.  Anderson takes offense to it because he’s said he’s fine and has been tested and all that jazz.  Basically he says to Foley either drop it or fight.

Morgan comes out and says that at the PPV he’s going to go full speed ahead no matter how Anderson is.  Anderson says we don’t have to wait for Sunday (it’s next Sunday but whatever) and we can fight right now.  Hardy comes out and says tonight Anderson and Morgan are going to be on opposite sides in a tag match with Hardy picking their partners.

Eric Young is dressed as Moses and talks about donuts and booze.  He’s getting ready for a party when Jordan comes up dressed up as a baby, complete with a bib and a diaper.  Young might be under some mistletoe.  I don’t like where this might be going.

Robert Roode vs. Chris Sabin

 

Apparently last week’s tag title match was only the first tag title shot for Beer Money and they get another one at Genesis.  Makes little sense as to why they should get multiple ones but whatever.  Sabin does an acrobatic routine to get out of a wristlock.  After a shoulder block Roode stops to pose and walks into an armdrag for his troubles.

Sabin sends Roode to the floor and gets a Christian-esque springboard cross body to the floor.  Back in the ring it gets two.  Roode uses his power to take over and hooks a chinlock to slow things down which would definitely be to his benefit.  Sabin fights him off pretty easily and gets a rana and springboard clothesline for two.

I didn’t realize Sabin wears shorts.  O’Connor Roll gets two for Roode but Sabin counters into a nice cradle for two as well.  Enziguri gets two.  Sabin’s big boot in the corner has Roode in trouble.  Springboard tornado DDT is blocked and Roode gets the spinebuster for the clean pin at 6:08.  Good match.

Rating: B. These two have great chemistry together as do all members of these teams.  This was a good power vs. speed match and the only dead spot was the chinlock which wasn’t anything all that bad at all.  They have great matches together, but dang I’m not really looking forward to the next match between these teams as we see it so often anymore than it’s rather uninteresting.  It’ll be good though.

Back with Young sitting on Jordan’s lap as they’re playing some kind of a game that’ll make them a better tag team which Young would like to have explained better to him.  Shark Boy of all people comes up and says he’d like to be on TV some more.  He sits on Jordan’s lap too but says he needs more beer to do that.  Let the bad comedy reign!

Van Dam comes out and says that it’s clear that Bischoff is in charge and he’s here waiting on his mystery opponent.  He’s not afraid of mind games so there’s nothing he can’t handle here.  Van Dam says he won’t be stopped until he’s facing Jeff Hardy.  Here’s his opponent.

Rob Van Dam vs. Robbie E

 

This is the best they can get for Van Dam?  They try to push the idea that Van Dam is going to have no time to prep here as Robbie was a surprise, but if that’s what they’re going for why not go with someone a bit more deadly?  They do their signature poses which ends with Van Dam kicking Robbie in the face.  Mike: “We finally got Cookie out of the situation.”  Cute Mike.  Cute.

Van Dam beats on Robbie to start until Cookie hooks Rob’s foot so that Robbie can stomp on him a bit and hooks a chinlock.  Van Dam is having none of that and kicks Robbie in the face.  Rolling Thunder sets up the Five Star to end this clean in 2:11.  More or less a squash and no rating.

Hardy pops up on the screen to talk to RVD and says that he’ll get revenge in due time.  Van Dam has a test at the PPV but he has to survive to get a shot at Jeff at a later date.  It’s another mystery opponent.

Sarita says she’s going to whip Skye later.  MORE LESBIAN KNOCKOUT S&M!  OH YES!!!

Here’s Kaz with some random girls.  He talks about how there’s a bounty on all titles so he’s going to claim the TNA Title from the current champion, Jay Lethal.  We see some clips of Lethal’s home and his family including his mother.  Kaz makes some really weak jokes about them until Lethal charges down to ringside.  Kaz pulls out a baton and hits Lethal with it to stop him deal.  He puts a watch on Lethal’s chest and says your time is almost up.  That was quick.

Foley is up next.

Foley comes into Flair and Bischoff’s office.  Flair wants Foley to knock for some reason.  Foley makes another plea for Anderson and Morgan’s health because they need to know who they’re facing.  Flair says go away and Foley says he’ll be at ringside for it.

Velvet Skye vs. Sarita

 

This is a strap match.  Velvet has the strap with her and slaps it on the mat a lot before Sarita comes out.  Sarita has on the Mexican/Christmas colors here.  It’s the touch all four corners to win variety.  We hit the floor almost immediately and Velvet is sent into the apron.  Back in the ring Sarita ties the arms of Velvet up and drags her around.  She gets two corners but Velvet fights back to break the streak.

Velvet pulls the strap so hard that it comes off Sarita’s wrist.  We have to stop for a bit as it’s put back on her.  Some weak shots to the back of Sarita until Velvet ties it around her Sarita’s neck.  And then we get the incredibly stupid ending that nearly all of these matches have with Velvet dragging Sarita around as both girls touch all three corners until Sarita gets the fourth at the very end off a counter to win at 3:00.  No rating again due to this being short and pretty stupid.

Sarita beats up Velvet some more until Angelina makes the save.

Back to the “party” with Shark Boy talking to Jordan.  Kendrick is here now too.  Let the gay jokes abound.

During the break we see the Beautiful People arguing which turns out to be more Velvet being mad than a fight.  Love goes looking for Sarita and beats her up a bit.  Sarita fights back until Winter makes the save.

We get a look back at TNA in 2010, which I’m pretty sure is what ReAction was supposed to be tonight.  Various people say they’ll become legends and we talk about dreams, nightmares and the unknown.  This is about the future apparently.

Williams says he has a match tonight but no partner.  Magnus comes in and says he’ll do it.

Time for another Jarrett MMA thing.  Jarrett talks about Red getting beaten up last week and how Red mentioned having a brother.  The challenger tonight is said brother.  Jarrett is going to let the brother have the first shot.  The brother is of course, a monster.  It’s that Tommy Mercer dude.  This is MMA rules I think but they’re setting it up as a wrestling match.

Whatever we’ll call it MMA instead since they talk about the MMA and the 100k being on the line.  Heel hook by Mercer (not named that but it’s easier to call him that than Red’s brother) but Jarrett gets the ropes.  Jarrett pounds away which gets him nowhere.  Ankle lock by Mercer but the security dudes pull him to the ropes.  Jarrett grabs the guitar but Red makes the save.  There’s a bell as I guess this is thrown out.

Back from a break Jarrett wants to tweak the MMA challenge thing.  For one thing the guys have to be Jarrett’s height or shorter.  They’re also exhibitions now.  There’s a waiver they have to sign now also.

AJ Styles/Rob Terry vs. Douglas Williams/Magnus

AJ vs. Magnus starts us off.  AJ wants Williams and the champion is happy to oblige.  We talk about the TV Title match which has no gimmick after the gimmick match they already had.  AJ immediately tags out to Terry and the beating is on.  Terry uses his basic power stuff as always which again does not mean that he’s bad, contrary to popular opinion.

Williams takes a beating as AJ comes in.  A suplex gets the champion out of trouble and it’s off to Magnus.  Everything breaks down and AJ gets Rolling Chaos on Magnus to steal the pin at 5:00.

Rating: C-. I wasn’t feeling this at all.  It made perfect sense to have the tag match thing going on as we’ve seen the two guys in the title match fight recently, but for some reason this never got going.  It’s not bad at all, but there was something missing from it and I’m not sure what that was.

Tara and Gen Me show up at the party and Jordan says the shirts have to come off to be here.  Gen Me disrobes but Jordan was surprisingly talking about Tara.  The young jerks start fighting with Moses and the diapered adult but Kendrick tries to stop them.  Never mind actually as he says have at it.

Madison brings out four guys in tuxedoes along with her in a very pretty black dress.  After the guys leave, So Cal Val hands her a mic.  She tries to be all nice and then screeches at everyone to be quiet.  Madison talks about how she’s the champion and is very beautiful and classy and all that jazz.  She makes fun of Mickie and according to wrestling laws, here she is.  There’s the beatdown and Madison of course gets stripped.

Back from a break with Pope talking to someone about getting some kids some puppies for Christmas.  Pope wants pitbulls.  For the love of all that is good and holy, please do not try to turn this into something related to Michael Vick.  Please, I’m still trying to get over the Jersey Shore characters.

Foley comes out for commentary on the main event.

Mr. Anderson/??? Vs. Matt Morgan/???

And the partners are the Dudleys.  It was a rather good show up to this point so you knew they were going to screw it up somehow.

Mr. Anderson/Brother Ray vs. Matt Morgan/Brother D-Von

 

Ray is now BULLY Ray.  Oh dear.  Can we get Big Bully Bushwick instead?  Ray runs away when Anderson wants to tag him.  Gunner and Murphy come out to get Foley away.  This is what we see instead of the match because I guess that’s more interesting.  Back to the match, Ray gets a blind tag.  Not that we get to see this as Foley is putting Socko in the mouth of a security guard.
We go to ReAction for the last time (thank goodness) with Foley beaten down, handcuffed and carried out.  Back to the ring (finally) with Ray beating down D-Von.  Anderson comes in and D-Von fights him off to bring in Morgan.  Anderson gets a DDT for two but jumps into a chokeslam for two as Ray saves.  The Dudleys hit the floor but Bubba slides back in.  Morgan misses a discus clothesline and it hits Anderson in the back of the head for the pin at approximately 5:35.

Rating: C. Very hard to grade this as the majority of it was the Foley thing so we’ll say it’s right in the middle.  The ending fit perfectly with the whole head injury deal as it furthers that angle.  Ray and D-Von still are about as uninteresting as you could possibly ask an angle to be but I guess they had to plug it somehow.  Decent main event but there was no one else they could have put in there as the partners?

Post match Anderson goes after Morgan but he can’t stand up straight.  He stumbles to the floor to end this part of ReAction/Impact.

Overall Rating: B-. I liked this a lot actually.  The wrestling was pretty subpar after the great opener, but other than that the show worked pretty well.  Feuds were pushed for the PPV and there wasn’t anything that really made me want to change the channel.  Five matches is a good total for TNA and overall this worked pretty well.  Good show, but again the weak wrestling after the opener hurt it.  See what happens when you have less Bischoff and Flair or less of any one given thing for that matter?  You get a better show.

Results

Robert Roode b. Chris Sabin – Spinebuster

Rob Van Dam b. Robbie E – Five Star Frog Splash

Sarita b. Velvet Skye – Sarita touched the fourth corner

AJ Styles/Rob Terry b. Magnus/Douglas Williams – Rolling Chaos Theory to Magnus

Matt Morgan/Brother D-Von b. Brother Ray/Mr. Anderson – Discus Lariat to Anderson




Impact – December 23, 2010

Impact
Date: December 23, 2010
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay
Episode Title: All the Gold is Worth a Fourtune

It’s Christmas time around the Impact Zone so expect a theme to tonight’s show. Tonight we have AJ vs. Williams in an Iron Man Match which most of you likely haven’t heard about prior to this as it was announced on ReAction instead of when the vast audience was, you know, watching. Other than that there hasn’t been anything major announced. Oh and the tag title tournament ends tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the tag match main event from last week where Anderson’s head was all messed up and Rob Terry cost Morgan/Anderson the match.

In the arena here’s Fourtune/Immortal. They really need a name for that whole team. Ok apparently their full name is Immortal and Fourtune is just a part of that. Terry is with them too. This is for the weigh-in for the #1 contenders match. Flair talks about their greatness as is his custom but shifts his attention to Terry.

He’s being offered a job as a bodyguard according to Flair but we hand the mic to Bischoff. Eric talks about how there are doctors here to check both guys and make sure they’re ok for Genesis. Morgan comes out and blows the crowd so far away that they can’t even move. Morgan says this is all a sham and that Bischoff is hitting new lows by having Anderson fight hurt because that’s beyond wrestling.

Eric disagrees and the doctors he has here are going to check Anderson and Morgan tonight. Flair tries to tell Morgan that it’s ok and here comes Mick Foley of all people. He says his career is probably over due to the amount of concussions he’s had. Foley says that if he has anything to say about it, the match doesn’t happen.

Flair says that Foley is a whiny, pathetic human being. He blames Foley for the rise in kids hurting themselves for the sake of violence. They get into their usual wrestler vs. non-wrestler thing. Foley wants to be part of the solution, which Flair says is to kiss up to him. Foley knocks the mic out of Flair’s hand and talks about coming into a morgue to check their brains when they’re dead. Flair says he’ll die in a ring or on top of a wild woman. Ok then.

Bischoff says Foley is here to try to be the hero now that his books and comedy career are failures. Apparently Foley is riding the coattails of people that have to follow Foley now because he set the bar too high with violence.

Cue theme song.

Mike and Taz run down the card which is the stuff I told you about already, plus the tag titles on the line in an 8 man tag with Beer Money/Abyss/Jeff Hardy vs. The Guns/RVD/Morgan. Whichever team wins, their tag team gets the belts.

Back from a break with Jeff Hardy coming to talk to Morgan. This isn’t about either of them but rather about professional wrestling. Basically Jeff asks who are Anderson and Flair to tell Morgan what to do. Jeff tries to get Morgan back to the Dark Side.

It’s time for another Jarrett MMA thing. We do get a Gracie Train here which is sort of funny. Jarrett says he’s tired of all the people in the Impact Zone losing so he’s going to open it up to the professionals. Amazing Red impressed him last week so he’s going to get another shot tonight.

Red comes out and is checked but gets Vaseline or something similar to it in his eyes which screws him up. Jarrett gets an ankle lock on for a long time but Red taps in less than a minute. Red has a brother so next week it’s Jarrett vs. the brother apparently. The fans chant for Angle and Jeff gets scared.

Tara and Rayne talk about the match later on and Tara’s arm is still messed up. Tara wants to make this go by fast to get to a party with Generation Me.

RVD is really excited about getting his hands on Hardy later.

Jeremy Buck vs. Max Buck vs. Kazarian vs. Robbie E

Winner gets Lethal at some point which is probably at Genesis. I’m kind of surprised we’re getting a match this early. We’re only 35 minutes into the show. They had that two week stretch where they got stuff in earlier. Yeah the match is at Genesis. You have to tag in and out here and we start with Gen Me facing off.

Robbie fist pumps on the apron so Gen Me double teams him for awhile. Kaz breaks up a pin attempt on Max which gets two for Robbie. He’s playing spoiler tonight apparently as he keeps breaking up covers. Basically this is Gen Me in a semi tag match where the partners don’t work together.

They dominate for the most part as Kaz hasn’t been in yet, pretty clearly forecasting his victory. They set for More Bang For Your Buck but here comes Kaz. He destroys everyone and hits his reverse Piledriver on Max for the win at 3:30. He and Kaz have a staredown for awhile.

Rating: C. Nothing special here aside from the usual Gen Me spots which are always pretty cool. Kaz was always going to win this and it was about as obvious as you could ask for. It wasn’t bad or anything but for three and a half minutes it’s not like they could really get anything going.

Sarita goes into Velvet’s locker room with a belt and closes the door. SWEET! KNOCKOUT BONDAGE ACTION!

During the break we missed Sarita destroying Velvet with the belt and choking her. Nice job of the cameraman to sit back and watch an assault and attempted strangulation. Sarita keeps yelling about how Angelina won’t always be there to save her, prompting Angelina to bounce in after Sarita left.

Eric and Flair talk about how Immortal is in checkmate because of Dixie and her attorneys and the judge so they need all the belts they can get. They need to live up to Hardy and Flair’s standards.

Kendrick talks to some chick about being lied to and gets a cookie. It looks like a cafeteria or something. Does TNA have any idea where they’re going with all these things or do they just throw random things out there and hope we make sense out of them?

Knockouts Tag Titles: Madison Rayne/Tara vs. Angelina Love

I forgot Madison was champion. That’s just not good at all. Angelina is introduced as being on her own due to Velvet being beaten down. It’s more or less Angelina vs. Madison as Tara can’t go because of her arm. Tara comes in for a few seconds but can’t do much at all due to the injury. She comes in, gets three stomps and a left handed choke and leaves. Not her fault of course but it makes the whole tag title thing a bit of a stretch.

Madison does her head scissors stomp thing and even her shapely form can’t even get the crowd into this. Winter comes down and cleans house as Angelina tags her in. Apparently she’s taking over. A really bad Catatonic (spinning Rock Bottom from a slam position) ends Madison at 4:50.

Rating: D. The crowd was dead for this. For a tag match having a total of three tags is a bit of a stretch. These belts don’t need to exist at all and you can see that more and more often every week. This wasn’t interesting at all and with the roster getting slimmer and slimmer, they need to do something with it soon. Winter will help, but they need more girls and fast.

Back from a break Pope is on the phone and says things need to go down the way he wants it to or things will be bad. Jordan and Young, in a freaking reindeer costume, presents Pope with a donation to the Congregation which is apparently raising money for kids. Pope talks to the person on the phone and says make the deal because he has some more funds.

TV Title: AJ Styles vs. Doug Williams

15 minute Iron Man match here. It’s a technical match to start us off here. They go to the mat with some very nice stuff. In a slick counter, AJ tries to nip up off the mat and Williams just dives on him and grabs a headlock. Williams gets a knee in the corner and we take a break to make sure we don’t see 15 minutes of good wrestling in one sitting.

Back with AJ holding a chinlock on Williams. During the break AJ got the first fall with a Styles Clash. Well of course he did. Not like anyone would want to see a champion get pinned as it happens right? AJ goes into a clock freeze which is smart and puts Williams down on the floor. Would it be too hard to give us a clock?

Ok apparently we have 4 minutes left. With maybe two and a half left they crank it way up and things get good. The springboard forearm is caught in a suplex. AJ’s eyes are awesome as he lays on the mat. Under two minutes now. One minute left as Williams is still down one. Rolling Chaos Theory kills AJ with under thirty seconds left. Both guys are down as the clock runs out.

Rating: B-. Solid stuff here with some psychology thrown in on the side. That’s not something you often get on TV matches today so that’s a definite perk. Seeing about 66% of the match isn’t a good thing really though but it could have been a lot worse. Good match as both guys can work a lot of styles (no pun intended) and it makes for good TV.

We’re going to get a five minute overtime, so of course we take a break.

Back with the overtime having already started. Tornado DDT gets two for Williams almost immediately. Springboard forearm gets two as well. There isn’t much other than laying around in between if you were wondering. Styles Clash is reversed into an Alabama Alsm for two. After some blocked suplexes from both guys the Pele gets two. Over three minutes are done already.

And now we have one minute left, meaning we missed about a minute during a commercial. Still no clock as I guess all the technology resources went to Dixie’s Twitter even though she has no affiliation to the company in storyline terms but still announces all the official business. We get a clock with 30 seconds left and Douglas gets a belly to back off the top but can’t get a cover before the bell rings. I won’t give a rating to the overtime but it was about on the same level as the earlier part if not a bit better.

AJ grabs a mic and says the people want a winner. He wants one more time at Genesis but Doug says no. Who’s the face here again? AJ runs down Williams a bit and Doug gives in and agrees to a match. If Williams wins, AJ has to leave Fourtune. AJ says no but Bischoff comes out and says do it or leave Fourtune, Immortal and TNA.

Team Beer Money has a powwow and Hardy says RVD can come get him.

Anderson will be on the phone next.

Apparently on the phone means a satellite interview. Anderson is cleared to return to the ring at Genesis. This would apparently be his return after the long time since his match last week. Taz and Anderson have a bit of an incident about Anderson not being totally back to full health. Anderson walks off after Tenay asks about proper paperwork.

Team MCMG is ready but Morgan isn’t happy about what Anderson said.

Tag Titles: Beer Money/Jeff Hardy/Abyss vs. Motor City Machine Guns/Matt Morgan/Rob Van Dam

Surprised there wasn’t a commercial before the entrances here. The champions’ team clears the ring and we take a break before the bell. Naturally they lied to us and the bell rang during the break. RVD vs. Storm is the first thing we see when we get back. Morgan comes in to beat on people for awhile. Is there a reason this isn’t a straight up tag title match?

The Guns do their awesome stuff to Roode as their team has controlled throughout so far. Sliced Bread is blocked though and Storm crotched Shelley to take over. Abyss comes in and Shelly, his former tag partner of all things, takes a beating. A few people boo when Hardy comes in. I’d like to see them take the show on the road to see if that would be the case elsewhere.

Hardy spits at RVD and Rob’s attempts to get at him only cause more pain for Shelley. Where’s Hardy to write bad songs about it when you need him? BEER! MONEY! Is that in case they get lost or something? Eye of the Storm is reversed but Hardy stops the tag. We go to ReAction (meaning I should cut off the review right now but whatever) as RVD gets the hot tag and Hardy runs.

Rolling Thunder gets two on Roode. Morgan comes in and hits the footprint on Abyss but goes down to a Twist of Hate. Hardy gets away from RVD again and they go to the floor. Sabin gets a tornado DDT out of nowhere to Roode for the pin to retain at approximately 8:50. JB sounds about as bored and uninterested as you could ask for him to be.

Rating: C+. Pretty fun match but it kind of begs the question of does Beer Money get another title shot at Genesis and if so, why? They just got a shot and they lost it. Why would they receive another one? This was pretty fast paced and formula based but good speed and pacing pulled it through to be pretty solid.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a horrible show at all although nothing really great. The Iron Man match is rather good, annoying times for commercials aside. This was really just a show to build up Genesis and there’s nothing wrong with that. Aside from the Iron Man match though, there were some problems here. The opening match was about as worthless as you could ask for and the women’s match was rather bad. The main event was ok but the booking is kind of a head scratcher. Not a bad show at all, but nothing great either.