For The Culture 2024
Date: April 5, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Big Swole, AC Mack

This has become a tradition from GCW over Wrestlemania Weekend and the shows tend to be pretty good more often than not. The show focuses on Black wrestlers and there is quite a bit of talent on the card. GCW can do rather well when they try and hopefully that is the case again here. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Team Myron vs. Team Dolla

Myron: Myron Reed, Ruckus, Devon Monroe, Darian Bengston, Calvin Tankman
Dolla: AJ Francis, Isaiah Broner, Keita, Mr. Danger, Terry Yaki

Francis yells at Reed to start with Reed not being able to do the test of strength. Instead Reed hits him in the face but gets taken down with a single shoulder. Tankman comes in for the rather large lockup with Francis taking him into into the corner but missing the big chop. Back up and Tankman hits something like a Pounce to send Francis into the corner. It’s off to Monroe for a bouncing hurricanrana to send Broner outside.

Keita comes in and kicks Monroe into the corner for a suplex right back out of it. It’s off to Bengston to take Keita down by the arm but Danger comes in with a springboard moonsault. Francis cleans house and everything breaks down, as you probably expected it to do. We get back to back stereo dives to leave almost everyone down.

That leaves Francis to tease a dive, only to flip the fans off instead. Danger busts out a big springboard corkscrew moonsault and NOW Francis busts out the big dive. Back in and we get the parade of big knockdowns until a hanging F5 hits Broner, followed by a sitout powerbomb from Ruckus to give Reed…the pin (it wasn’t quite clear) at 11:48.

Rating: C+. The problem here is there were so many wrestlers in there at once that it was hard to keep track of what was going on. It doesn’t help that they had so much going all over the place, with no one really getting to stand out. Francis was the biggest name in the whole thing and was only featured part of the time. Fun enough match, but not exactly focused.

Thick N Juicy vs. Kings Of The District vs. Killionaires Club vs. The Mane Event

That would be Brooke Valentine/Faye Jackson vs. Eel O’Neal/Jordan Blade vs. J Boujii/PB Smooth vs. Duke Davis/Ganon Jones Jr. Hold on though as we need to see if Jackson will give Smooth (a 6’9 giant) a Stinkface. That won’t be happening so it’s Blade starting with Valentine instead. Blade snapmares her down for a dropkick to the back before it’s off to the test of strength.

That goes nowhere so they trade running shoulders to limited avail. A double knockdown gives us a double tag to O’Neal and Jackson, with O’Neal’s headlock not getting him anywhere. Jackson runs him over with a shoulder and sits on his chest for two and O’Neal, dubbed Bad Brain, goes into the wrong corner in a not so bright move. Thick N Juicy hit running hip attacks on the Kings, who seem to approve. Stereo Cannonballs crush the Kings again but the Club comes in to clear the ring.

We get the big Club vs. Event showdown, with Boujii not being able to do much against the rather large Duke. Almost everyone heads to the floor, allowing Jones to hit a big dive onto the pile. Back in and Blade manages a German suplex on Jones but the Kings Club clears the ring again. O’Neal strikes away at Jones to limited success. Jackson goes up (taking over a minute due to a bunch of slipping) and dives onto almost everyone else, setting up a Banzai Drop to pin O’Neal at 12:45.

Rating: C+. This was a bit easier to keep track of than the opener, though that might have been due to having four teams instead of two. There were some short form showdowns in there and that helped a bit, though again there is only so much you can get out of a match with eight people involved at once. Thick N Juicy were the focal point here, which is impressive given a giant like Smooth being involved.

Man Like DeReiss vs. Sonny Kiss

Kiss grabs the wristlock to start and flips around to start to slip away. Some hip shaking has DeReiss out on the floor but he comes back in for some dancing of his own. Back in and Kiss does Naomi’s headscissors to ram him into the back of the trunks, only for DeReiss to hit a hard shoulder.

DeReiss works on the arm until Kiss flips out of a belly to back suplex and strikes away. A German suplex and a hard clothesline give DeReiss two and they trade rollups for two each. Natural Selection gives Kiss two but DeReiss is back with a sitout powerbomb for another near fall. Kiss gets up and manages a gorilla press (that’s impressive) into a torture rack Stunner for the pin at 9:03.

Rating: C. While it was rather nice to have a singles match and both of them have a good bit of charisma, the action was nothing special. It was mainly a power vs. speed match, though Kiss’ gorilla press at the end was quite the surprise. Perfectly fine match, but nothing that stood out much for what is supposed to be a special show.

Janai Kai vs. Jada Stone vs. Joseline Navarro vs. Maya World vs. Mazzerati vs. Tiara James

Elimination rules…or not actually as the ring announcer says there is a change of plans, making this one fall to a finish. It’s a brawl to start with Maya, Mazzerati and Stone hitting stereo dropkicks to the floor. Maya and Mazzerati hit dives, followed by Stone’s corkscrew moonsault onto the pile.

Back in and Stone strikes away on Maya until a German suplex drops Stone for two. Mazzerati comes in and gets kicked in the head and hits a sliding clothesline to the back of the head. Navarro avoids a charge in the corner and hits a basement DDT to put Mazzerati down. James comes back in and gets kicked in the face but catches a returning Kai with a gutbuster.

Everyone gets together for a suplex attempt, with Mazzerati, Maya and Stone managing to get the others over. Mazzerati goes for covers on a bunch of people but can’t get anywhere. Well she can get to two but that’s it. Everyone is back up Mazzerati hits a hurricanrana to send Kai into everyone else. We hit the parade of suplexes and throws until Navarro hits a running crossbody in the corner to pin Mazzerati at 10:32.

Rating: C+. Much like the first two matches, there was so much going on here with so many people that you can only get so much out of it. No one had a chance to stand out and it felt like who managed to get a pin first rather than whoever won. That’s the problem with these scramble matches and it was on full display again here.

2 Cold Scorpio vs. Jah-C

They shake hands to start and fight over arm control, with Jah-C powering out of a top wristlock. We get a standoff, allowing Jah-C to yell at a woman in the crowd, which seems to be a bit of an overreaction. They go to the mat with Scorpio grabbing a front facelock, which is reversed into an armbar. Jah-C takes him down and seems to tell Scorpio to bring it, which works for him. An armdrag puts Jah-C down before Scorpio lures him into a fake handshake.

Scorpio kicks him down and grabs the chinlock, which doesn’t last long. They slug it out until Scorpio leverages him outside without too much effort. Back in and Scorpio kicks him down, setting up a springboard moonsault for two. Jah-C rakes the eyes though and hits his own springboard moonsault for his own two. Scorpio drops him and busts out the Tumbleweed for another near fall but Jah-C kicks him down again. A Lionsault gives Jah-C and a superkick finishes Scorpio off at 10:43, with Scorpio kicking out at 3.1 in a bit of a weird look.

Rating: C+. I’m always going to be interested in seeing Scorpio as I’ve been a fan for over thirty years. The guy has such a natural charisma and while he can’t quite go like he used to (as he’s 58), he still has enough ability to put on a good match. I’m curious about that ending though, as it definitely did not seem to go as it was supposed to.

Post match Scorpio gets to dance a bit.

Pan-Afrikan World Diaspora Wrestling Title: Suge D vs. Alex Kane

Kane is challenging and has Faye Jackson with him. The much bigger Kane blocks a whip into the ropes to start and Suge realizes he needs to do something else. Suge hits about ten straight running shoulders but can’t get anywhere, so he stomps on the foot and then runs Kane over. Back up and Kane shrugs off a shot to the face and grabs a German suplex. Kane fires off some knees to the head but Suge is back with a facebuster for two.

That just annoys Kane again as he ties Suge in the ropes for a running boot to the face and two of his own. Some rolling German suplexes set up a t-bone suplex to send Suge into the corner but Suge talks trash as he comes out. Some running clotheslines and forearms stagger Kane and Suge grabs his own German suplex. They trade more suplexes until Suge gets two but Kane is back up with a Crash Landing. A spear gives Kane two but Suge hits his own, setting up a piledriver to retain at 12:07.

Rating: C+. Suge seems to be more of the scrappy brawler while Kane is there to throw suplexes. It turned into a hard hitting fight and that helped a good bit, making it perhaps the best match on the show so far. Kane is a bigger deal in MLW so he has some status here, which made him feel like a stronger threat to take the title. Nice match here.

Darius Carter vs. Billy Dixon

Darius Lockhart is the guest referee. Commentary says this is five years in the making though doesn’t exactly explain how we got here. Carter shoves him to start and gets pummeled out to the floor, where Carter manages a quick posting. Back in and Dixon kicks away, setting up a middle rope elbow to the face for one. Carter’s dropkick puts Dixon down again though and the pace slows a lot.

Carter starts going after the leg and grabs a Hartbreaker, despite Lockhart’s protests. The Figure Four goes on back inside but Dixon makes the ropes in a hurry. That’s fine with Carter, who takes it to the apron for a piledriver, which is countered into a backdrop. Back in and Carter starts in on the finger so he can stomp away in the corner. For some reason Lockhart helps Dixon up and tells him to fight back, which is exactly what Dixon does. The comeback doesn’t last long as Carter knocks him outside but Dixon beats the count.

Carter hammers away at the forehead but Dixon runs him over with a shoulder. Dixon sits up ala Undertaker and gets two off a middle rope Thesz press. Another shot drops Dixon but Carter stops to yell at Lockhart, allowing Dixon to grab a Pedigree for two. Carter picks the leg again though and we hit the Figure Four again. Dixon fights up but gets his fingers snapped to put him back down…and he passes out for the pin at 19:14.

Rating: C. This is a match where commentary really hurt things, as it felt like it was supposed to be this big grudge match and we were never given any reason why. Was there some significance to the Figure Four? Or why do Lockhart and Carter not like each other? This was the main event and something treated as bigger than the rest of the show but you would never guess it based on most of the presentation.

Overall Rating: C-. For The Culture has been hit and miss over the years and this was on the latter side. The biggest problem here was a focus on quantity over quality, with three of the seven matches being multi-person messes in one form or another. The main event, while not bad, didn’t feel overly important and that hurt things even more. On top of that, the show didn’t start until around midnight so the main event was starting around 2:30 in the morning. Overall, this wasn’t a great show and it needed to be laid out a good bit better to really improve.

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Can’t Deny It
Date: April 4, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers
Commentators: Jack Farmer, Rich Bocchini

This is from Defy Wrestling and that’s not a promotion I know very well. I’ve seen a bit from them before and I do remember liking them so there might be something worth seeing here. The main event will see Kenta defend the World Title against Gringo Loco, which should at least be good. Let’s get to it.

Schaff is in a four wheeler (or whatever you call a vehicle for driving through the woods in the mud) and wants everyone in the BMF battle royal for his Pacific Northwest Title.

Tag Team Titles: Bollywood Boyz vs. Man Like DeReiss/Michael Oku

DeReiss and Oku are challenging and have Amira with them. Oku is apparently a replacement for Leon Slater who isn’t here due to travel restrictions. DeReiss raps his way to the ring and seems to be rather popular. Gurv and DeReiss start things off with the latter powering him up against the ropes. Some running shoulders put Gurv down and we hear the Birmingham, England (DeReiss’ hometown) area code or whatever he keeps shouting.

Oku comes in and gets armdragged into an arm crank as it’s back to Gurv for more arm pulling. That’s broken up as Oku sends him into the corner, where he jumps over DeReiss for a kick to the chest. They head outside where Gurv hammers away on Oku, setting up a middle rope bulldog for two back inside. Oku fights out of the chinlock rather quickly so it’s a top rope elbow Hart Attack for two instead.

A quick shot to the face lets Oku go up for a frog splash high crossbody and it’s back to DeReiss to pick the pace way up. Everything breaks down and Oku hits a big running flip dive, followed by DeReiss’ powerbomb for two. Stereo half crabs (Oku’s signature) have the champs in trouble but they reverse into stereo Sharpshooters. That’s broken up as well so it’s a 3D to send Harv into Gurv for two. Harv shrugs it off and sense Oku outside, setting up the Bollywood Blast for the pin on DeReiss to retain at 16:36.

Rating: C+. Nice enough match to open the show here, though it really did start to break down near the end. There is only so much drama to be had out of a thrown together team challenging for the titles but it was about all that could be done. The Boyz aren’t the flashiest team in the world but they can do their thing more than well enough.

CCK vs. Moonlight Express

That would be Chris Brookes/Kid Lykos (with Kid Lykos II) vs. Mao/Mike Bailey, because Mike Bailey is everywhere over Wrestlemania Weekend. Mao flips the rather tall Brookes off to start so Brookes teases leaving. Not that it matters as he comes back so Mao can start with Lykos. Mao takes him down and flips him off so it’s off to Bailey, who can’t get into a test of strength with Brookes (as Bailey barely comes up to his shoulders).

Brookes pats him on the head so Bailey starts kicking away in a much smarter move. That lets Bailey pat him on the head for a nice touch and it’s Lykos coming in for a change. A poke to the eye just makes Bailey kick him even more and there’s a double dropkick to send Brookes outside. Stereo moonsaults (from the same corner) take out CCK on the floor and we head back inside.

This time Mao is sent crashing outside, allowing Lykos to hit a top rope Codebreaker on Bailey. We pause for some exchange of fluids from CCK to Bailey (who does have a funny face in reaction) before Lykos shouts BRAINBUSTER. Bailey blocks it so Lykos does the same thing again and, again, is blocked. Serves him right for telegraphing his offense. Mao comes in and sends CCK into each other but CCK is right back with stereo octopus holds.

Those are broken up so Brookes and Mao trade strikes to the face for a double down. Bailey is back in to strike Lykos down, setting up a running shooting star press for two. Brookes misses a kick to the head so Bailey moonsaults onto Lykos on the floor. Back in and the Express miss stereo Ultimate Weapons but Lykos calls for the brainbuster AGAIN and AGAIN it’s broken up.

Bailey’s tornado kick (which he didn’t advertise) hits Lykos and a rollup gets two. Brookes is back in with a kick but Map kicks him right back down. Lykos is back in with the unadvertised brainbuster for two on Bailey so Brookes adds a top rope double knee for two of his own. Mao is taken out again so it’s a Gory Bomb/Diamond Dust combination to finish Bailey at 16:13.

Rating: B. They got rolling near the end there and it was just one big move after another. Bailey is kind of perfect if you want a bunch of cool looking stuff with pretty much no selling in between so he fit in well here. Brookes stands out alone because of his size but he can move well out there to balance it out. Good stuff here, as they just did a bunch of stuff to show off.

Respect is shown post match.

Women’s Title: Vert Vixen vs. Jazmin Allure vs. Trish Adora

Vixen is defending and Mega Ran is a guest commentator. The champ is sent outside to start, leaving Adora to lift Allure up and bent her over the knee in a rather wacky looking hold (the wave to her mom makes it even better). Back in and Vixen makes the save, including a running elbow to drop Adora.

They go outside with Allure hitting a big dive, setting up the chinlock back inside. Adora comes back in but gets her leg kicked out, allowing Allure to hit a Sling Blade. Allure kicks at both of them but Adora pulls a high crossbody out of the air. Vixen’s missile dropkick puts the other two down, followed by a nasty German suplex to plant Allure.

A Blue Thunder Bomb gets two but Adora is up for the save. Allure drops Adora again and runs the corner for an armdrag to Vixen. That means it’s time for Adora and Vixen to trade kicks to the face until Adora is knocked outside. Allure’s guillotine is broken up and Vixen plants her with a powerbomb, followed by a brainbuster to retain at 12:52.

Rating: C+. This was the definition of a match that just kind of happened as they were getting in as much stuff as they could in their limited amount of time. There wasn’t much in the way of a story and while Allure stood out, the other two did well enough. Good enough for what it was, but they needed a better layout.

Pacific Northwest Title: BMF Battle Royal

This is an eight man battle royal, which appears to be either a Royal Rumble or gauntlet match, with Schaff defending. Luke Jacobs is in at #1 and Galeno del Mal is in at #2 with Mal hitting a hard shoulder to take over. Charles Crowley is in at #3 (as this is apparently a Royal Rumble with 57 second intervals) and dances around ringside as Jacobs takes over. The other two pause as the dancing gets inside, followed by Crowley slams Jacobs.

LJ Cleary is in at #4 and fires off some strikes, setting up a springboard armdrag on Mal. Shota is in at #5 as the ring is filling up quickly. Shota runs into and gets kicked down by the much bigger Mal and it’s Gene Munny in at #6. A slingshot spear hits Crowley and house is quickly cleaned by the less than serious Munny.

Ricky Knight Jr. is in at #7 and easily fireman’s carries Cleary and Munny at the same time for a double Samoan drop. Schaff is in at #8 to complete the field and house is quickly cleaned. In this case, cleaning doesn’t mean eliminating though as everyone pairs off. Munny gets clotheslined out, leaving Cleary and Crowley to fight out to the apron. Both tease getting back in but Munny pulls them out, leaving us with five.

Schaff cuts off Shota’s tornado DDT attempt and throws him out. Knight is eliminated as well, leaving us with Schaff, Jacobs and Mal. Jacobs catches Schaff up top and grabs a superplex (instead of knocking him to the floor), followed by a pop up powerbomb to Mal. That doesn’t go well though as Mal tosses Jacobs and we’re down to two. Schaff low bridges Mal over the top but he barely hangs on, giving us a Shawn Michaels reference. They slug it out on the apron until Schaff grabs a Death Valley Driver to retain at 15:00.

Rating: C+. This was another match where it felt like they were trying to get in as many people as possible. That isn’t the worst idea on a show like this, but it doesn’t exactly let anyone but the winner show off. Thankfully they didn’t spend too much time with the ring full, but it was more or less “everyone comes in and then Schaff beats the up”, which isn’t much of a match.

Sovereign vs. Dragon Gate vs. C4XKC

That would be:

Sovereign: Evan Rivers/Judas Icarus/Travis Williams
Dragon Gate: Ho Ho Lun/Kzy/Shun Skywalker
C4XKC: Cody Chhun/Guillermo Rosas/KC Navarro

Skywalker headscissors Chhun to start as Mega Ran talks about work he has done on entrance music and completely ignores the match. Navarro comes in to yell at Kzy but neither of them can actually make much contact. Icarus sneaks in for a hard clothesline on Kzy as Sovereign comes in to stomp away. Kzy gets pulled back into the corner but it’s Rosas coming in to clean house.

Everything breaks down and it’s time to start the rapid fire dives. Rivers sends Rosas into the corner and it’s Williams cranking on the arms over the ropes. Rosas is back up with a heck of a clothesline and the tag brings Chhun back in to pick up the pace. A DDT gets two on Williams and everything breaks down again.

Skywalker’s standing moonsault knees hit Chhun for two but Williams is back in with a moonsault for two of his own. We hit the parade of people knocking each other to the floor until C4XKC take over on Williams. Stereo rolling kicks to the head give C4XKC a triple pin on Williams at 12:40.

Rating: B-. As you might have expected, there is only so much you can get out of a match involving nine people in a single ring. While the teams probably have their own backstories and histories, we only got so much of those things here as commentary wasn’t exactly telling us much. The action was good and they did what you would have expected, but it would have been nice to know more about what I was watching.

The #1 Defy Match Of The Year is Judas Icarus vs. Mike Bailey. One might think they would give the date of the match but oh well.

Defy World Title: Kenta vs. Gringo Loco

Kenta is defending. They circle each other for about a minute until Kenta grabs a wristlock. Loco flips away and they stare it down again as this isn’t in the fastest gear to start. Kenta snaps off a headscissors and they head outside with Kenta taking him down again. The fight heads into the crowd with Kenta hammering away even more. Back in and some knees to the head let Kenta gloat a bit more.

An offer of a handshake just lets Kenta poke him in the eyes but Loco plants him down for a change. Loco works on the arm for a bit before going big with a double springboard moonsault for two. Some chops against the ropes just seem to wake Kenta up so he comes back with a release fisherman’s suplex. A tornado DDT gives Kenta two and he grabs the STF.

With that broken via the ropes, Kenta goes up but dives into a spinning sitout powerbomb for two. They head to the apron and slug it out where another powerbomb is countered into a DDT to plant Loco hard. The count is barely beaten so Kenta drops a top rope double stomp for two. Loco grabs something like a powerslam spun into an F5 for the same and they head up top.

Kenta tries a super Falcon Arrow but gets reversed into…uh well a super Falcon Arrow actually. The referee gets bumped and Kenta grabs a DDT, plus a chair for a bonus. A bunch of shots have Loco down but he counters a belt shot into an over the shoulder Tombstone. There’s no referee so Loco goes up, only to get kneed down for two. The Go To Sleep retains the title at 23:07.

Rating: B-. Lame ending to a pretty good match, as the chairs and ref bump felt like they needed a way to add drama. I’m not sure how regular Loco is in Defy but he felt like someone who was just there for the sake of having a challenger with a name. They were getting going near the end and then they did the stuff with the chair to bring it right back down. I was expecting more from this and it wound up being just strong enough for a main event.

Respect is shown to end the match. How nice of Loco to shrug off the rampant chair shots.

Overall Rating: B-. I remember having a great time with the first Defy show that I watched and this didn’t really come close to that. The biggest problem here was nothing about the show stood out. Save for maybe the battle royal, there was nothing on here that you couldn’t see on any decent independent show. This is the kind of show that I’m going to forget by the end of the day and that’s not something you want to say about any show, let alone something on the biggest wrestling weekend of the year.

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Joey Janela’s Spring Break 8
Date: April 5, 2024
Location: Penns Landing Caterers, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Dave Prazak, Veda Scott

This is one of the bigger independent shows of Wrestlemania Weekend and the biggest GCW show as well. The main event if Joey Janela himself challenging the rather unpopular Black Christian for the GCW World Title. As usual this show could be all over the place and that makes it more fun. Let’s get to it.

I only follow GCW to a certain extent so I apologize in advance for missing details about characters or storylines. I’m basically going based off what commentary or the wrestlers tell me.

Note that I was in the arena for this show, sitting in the sixth row with the entrance on my right.

In Memory of Virgil.

Opening video.

Rina Yamashita/Masha Slamovich vs. Minoru Suzuki/Masato Tanaka

Rina and Tanaka start things off with the former’s running shoulders not getting her very far. Suzuki and Slamovich come in but I can’t stop looking at a rather stupid looking fan. Looks like some overrated wrestling reviewer. Slamovich can’t get very far so it’s back to Tanaka to take her down by the arm. The fight heads out to the floor and we go split screen, which is more than most major promotions can remember to do.

Back in and Suzuki stomps away at Slamovich in the corner before Tanaka just slaps her in the face. It’s back to Suzuki who alternates between cranking on various limbs to keep Slamovich down. Slamovich manages a quick suplex and it’s back to Rina to pick things up. We get the “let’s stand here and exchange forearms”, with Suzuki getting the better of things.

Tanaka comes in for a top rope superplex, which he rolls into another suplex. Rina gets away for the tag back to Slamovich, who strikes both guys down. A double powerbomb gets two on Tanaka and let’s get a door. Splash Mountain through the door is broken up by Suzuki, who is sent outside. Tanaka puts Slamovich (mostly) through the table for two but Slamovich is right back with a crucifix for the pin at 13:48.

Rating: C+. This was a nice start as the fans are always going to react to Suzuki and Tanaka was a big enough deal in ECW for the local fans. Other than that, it didn’t get too violent and that left us with a mostly clean tag match. It’s nice to see something like that on a show that has a tendency to get nuts, though I’m sure that’s coming later.

Rock N Roll Express/Kerry Morton vs. East West Express/Mike Bailey

The Rock N Roll (Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson) are legends (as opposed to the East/West of Jordan Oliver and Nick Wayne) and of course good guys but Kerry (Ricky’s son) is a loudmouthed heel. Before the match, Kerry tells the fans to shut the f*** up and asks who all of these people think they are to get in the ring with the. And then the fans BOO HIM??? Kerry jumps the three of them from behind to no avail and it’s a neckbreaker into Bailey’s shooting star press for two.

Wayne and Oliver start working on the arm before it’s off to Ricky, who gets elbowed in the face. Ricky tells Wayne to run the ropes but Kerry gets in a cheap shot, which doesn’t work for Kerry. The fans sing their disdain for Kerry, who doesn’t take kindly to it but does take Wayne down with a slingshot suplex. Wayne manages a running uppercut for a breather and it’s Bailey coming back in to pick up the pace.

Oliver snaps off a double chop and…bounces up and down a lot. The East/West comes in for their double cutter out of the corner but Kerry shoves the referee into the ropes for the break, earning him a big yelling from Ricky. He even slaps Kerry and I guess that’s enough for Ricky to be Legal. A Canadian Destroyer hits Wayne and he dives onto a bunch of people, including Kerry. The Mortons hit stereo dropkicks for two on Wayne as Bailey makes the save. Oliver and Wayne are back in though and it’s the double cutter for the pin on Ricky at 9:21.

Rating: C+. This was more about Ricky vs. Kerry than anything else while also having the Rock N Roll in there. It made for a good enough story, but the action was only so good. You can only get so much out of the Rock N Roll these days and while that’s fair enough, it was smart to keep this relatively short. And of course with Bailey in there, because he comes complete with every Wrestlemania Weekend show.

Dragon Gate Classic vs. Reiwa New Generation

That would be Dragon Kid/Kzy/Yamato vs. Ben-K/Kota Minoura/Shun Skywalker. Yamato and Ben start things off and they go to the mat for the grappling exchange. With that not working, Kzy and Minoura come in and the latter doesn’t think much of what appears to be dancing. That doesn’t work either, so it’s off to the masked Skywalker and the, uh, also masked Kid.

A Stundog Millionaire drops Skywalker so Ben and Minoura come in for an assisted kick to Kid’s face. Ben does his rotating gutwrench suplex to drop Kid again, followed by Skywalker’s suplex to keep Kid in trouble. Minoura comes back in with a Boston crab, sending Kid straight to the ropes.

Kid finally manages to get in a shot of his own and it’s back to Yamato to pick up the pace. Kzy hits a big dive to the floor, leaving Yamato to suplex Ben for two. Minoura gets super hurricanranaed down and Kzy’s frog splash gets two more. Back up and Skywalker monkey flips Kzy into Kid and Yamato but Kzy forearms the heck out of Skywalker. Minoura is back in and gets caught in a crucifix to give Kid the pin at 13:53.

Rating: B. They were doing the showcase route here and that went rather well. It’s a case where you take a bunch of talented people and let them go out there for a bunch of fun spots for a good while. It worked well here with everyone going nuts until someone got the pin. Rather entertaining stuff here and it went exactly as it should have.

Cole Radrick vs. Aigle Blanc vs. Alec Price vs. Arez vs. Leon Slater vs. Marcus Mathers vs. Mr. Danger vs. Myron Reed

Grab The Brass Ring ladder match, with a Sonic looking ring above the ring, meaning the winner gets a shot at any title on demand. It’s a big brawl to start and everyone heads outside and thankfully we go split screen again. Radrick and Blanc grab chairs and go back inside for a duel, with Radrick knocking him right back to the floor. Mathers comes back in to kick the chair into Radrick’s head before it’s Danger coming in for a springboard legdrop to knock a ladder onto Reed’s face.

Now it’s Arez and Mathers picking up a ladder to clear a few people out, only to have Blanc break it up. We get the required ladder around the head (Price’s in this case) so he can spin around rather quickly to knock a bunch of people down. Price is down as well so it’s Microman, who stands 3’3, in with a tiny ladder of his own. He does his own ladder spin, resulting in a bunch of low blows for even more knockdowns. Microman sends Mathers into a ladder in the corner and there’s a headscissors to Price.

Back up and Price nails a clothesline before going up. Arez breaks that up with a springboard cutter so Radrick grabs the ladder, only to have that broken up as well. Mathers shoves a ladder over to send Danger into another ladder. Blanc misses a Swanton onto the ladder, allowing Slater to hit a Swanton 450 (that looks cool) to crush Blanc again. Mathers powerbombs Blanc onto a bunch of people on the floor but Reed pulls him off the ladder.

A F5 onto the top into a Downward Spiral plants Mathers but Price sends Reed face first into the ladder. There’s the big dive to the pile on the floor, leaving Slater to hit the huge dive over the post. A bunch of people check on Slater until Reed dives over the top for a cutter onto the pile. Danger goes up for the huge moonsault onto a bunch of people, leaving the fans pleased and everyone else down. Back in and Danger goes up but Radrick slows him down. Mathers and Price go up as well before going crashing down, leaving Radrick to knock Danger off and win at 17:06.

Rating: B-. This was the big cluster (ok maybe not the best word on a Joey Janela show) ladder match and it worked rather well. It’s the best way to have this many people on the roster at once as the fans get to see a bunch of stars in one match. It helps that there were stakes with this being similar to the Money In The Bank ladder match. There were a lot of people out there, but at least they kept things moving well enough.

Matt Cardona vs. Blue Pain

Cardona, with Steph de Lander and Jimmy Lloyd, is dressed as Macho King (with Queen Steph) and lets us know how lucky we are to have him. He was on TNA AND AEW recently and this weekend, his best friend Cody Rhodes will finish his story. Pain on the other hand is better known as Blue Kane and he’s kind of the Xanta Claus version of Kane: he wears blue, he controls cold instead of fire, he comes out to Eiffel 65’s Blue song, and he weighs two Cease And Desist Orders.

Cardona strikes away to start and gets scared out to the floor, as the flashbacks to the old US Title days are still real (that’s a weirdly clever idea). Back in and Pain uppercuts Cardona right back to the floor, meaning it’s time to stalk Cardona into the crowd. They fight into the balcony (not that high) and Pain loads up a table, only to get hit in the eyes with…something. Lloyd has to make the save but gets put in a chair and sent through the table (call back to Kane vs. Cardona back in WWE).

They get back in, where a de Lander distraction lets Cardona knock Pain off the top, setting up stereo Broski Boots. An Urn is brought in but Cardona hits de Lander by mistake (she urned that one), allowing Pain to hit the top rope clothesline. A chokeslam gets two, with de Lander pulling the referee out.

Radio Silence connects and another referee, dressed like Zack Ryder and coming out to the Zack Ryder theme, comes in to count two but flips Cardona off and kicks him low. Pain fights up with a chokeslam attempt, only to have Ryder hit him low, as Cardona reveals (and drops to the floor) a cup. That doesn’t work either so chokeslams abound until Lloyd is back. A fireball to the face (oddly appropriate) blinds Pain and Radio Silence lets all four villains pile on for the pin at 9:04.

Rating: B-. We can call this the definition of “stupid, goofy fun” and that is not a bad thing. Cardona is a big deal around here and it’s nice to see him getting to do something as silly as beating up a blue version of a monster who messed with him about ten years ago. Sometimes you need to do something ridiculous to give the fans a good time and that is exactly what happened here.

Gringo Loco vs. Amazing Red

This should be fun. Feeling out process to start with neither being able to get anywhere, including Red offering a clean break. They run the ropes and exchange some near falls until Red pauses on a big kick to the head. Loco isn’t having a handshake and knocks him outside, only to have Red snap off a hurricanrana.

The dive drops Loco again and Red sends him into the chairs before going back inside for the chops. Loco fights up and knocks him to the floor this time, only to let Red get back in due to that pesky respect stuff. Back in and a tornado DDT gives Red two more as they’re going back and forth here. Loco’s sitout powerbomb gives him two of his own but a top rope superplex is broken up.

Instead Red sends him down for a top rope faceplant but Loco hits a standing version for two more. Another powerbomb is countered into a hurricanrana to give Red two so they both go up. This time it’s a super Spanish Fly to give Loco another near fall and they’re both a bit winded. Loco loads up…something but gets kicked in the back, allowing Red to take him up top for a super poisonrana. A top rope double stomp into a frog splash into Code Red is enough to give Red the pin at 15:55.

Rating: B. This was a way more straightforward match and it went rather well. After having all of the goofiness before and the violence that is still scheduled, it is nice to have something like this. Red is way past his prime but can still do some rather nice things. Loco is still more than good enough as well and they had a rather solid match here, at least given the circumstances.

Respect is shown post match.

We recap Mance Warner vs. Effy in an I Quit match. The commentary before the video said they’re former stablemates and now hate each other, but we’re not told why or what happened. Warner is rather violent though and apparently stabbed Effy with a drill to the head. As you do.

Effy vs. Mance Warner

I Quit and the fans do not like Warner whatsoever. We even get the Big Match Intros to really make this feel special. Warner hammers away to start and strikes away, only to charge into a German suplex. Effy hits a running boot in the corner and flips into something like a dragon sleeper. That’s broken up so Effy hits a spear to take Warner down again.

It’s time to bring in some chairs, one of which is thrown over the top and onto Warner’s head. Effy chairs him down and loads up a door, but does stop to chair Warner down again in a smart move. Warner is fine enough to spinebuster him through an open chair and a spinning DDT through the table connects. It’s way too early for Effy to quit so Warner chairs him down again.

Back up and Effy sends him through another door for another no, setting up a piledriver onto the chairs. Effy tries a Rough Ryder but is quickly powerbombed down onto the chairs as well. That’s nowhere near enough so let’s steal the referee’s belt to whip Effy over the back. Effy shrugs that off and grabs the belt, which he wraps around his fist to punch Warner in the face.

Some whipping in the corner makes Warner say no again and it’s time to bridge a door between some chairs. Choking takes too long though and Effy gets sent through the door, which is good for another no. They slug it out on the apron, with Effy snapping off a standing Blockbuster. Another door is loaded up at ringside but Warner grabs a chokeslam to send him through it as the violence continues.

Back in and they trade pieces of door shots to the head. Effy gets the better of things again and they trade low blows to put them both down again. Warner whips out a screwdriver to hit Effy in the head and it’s time to bring out some zip ties. The bloody Effy is tied to the top rope and Warner throws a chair at his head. That’s still a no so here is Allie Katch (Effy’s partner) with the drill…but Warner chairs her down and loads up the drill. Effy quits to save Katch at 21:47.

Rating: B-. This was the match that caught my eye more than anything else on the card and it told a story (unlike the story that we weren’t given about how we got here) but it never really got to that next level. Instead it was just a bunch of hitting people with stuff until they did the ending. It wasn’t bad, but I was expecting more in what felt like it could have been one of the best things on the show.

We recap Nick Gage/Maki Itoh vs. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho. Gage was unhappy with Danhausen for costing him a win so it’s time to bring in a partner each.

Nick Gage/Maki Itoh vs. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho

Kaicho appears to be a bit dead and Gage and Itoh have Discount Dewey Donovan with them (he still has a website, where he brags about how little effort he has put into it and has not updated it in about 18 years). The fans REALLY do not like Danhausen during the Big Match Intros and even he seems a bit surprised.

Danhausen and Gage start things off but Danhausen wants Itoh instead. The curse is blocked with a middle finger so Danhausen grabs a headlock. Itoh gets knocked down and Danhausen drops a falling headbutt, a signature Itoh spot. Back up and Itoh knocks him down so it’s off to Kaicho, who uses her….death dust to blind Itoh? With that shrugged off, Itoh hammers away in the corner and hits a running boot for two. Gage comes in and knocks a crossbodying Itoh down and an elbow makes it worse.

Itoh DDTs her way to freedom and hands it off to Danhausen to slug away at Gage, followed by the flying shoulder. Everything breaks down and Gage pulls Danhausen outside, where it’s time to grab a door. All four get inside and it’s a four way knockdown, with Gage grabbing the pizza cutter.

Kaicho blasts him with the dust though and hits a dropkick to put Gage through the door in the corner. Danhausen pizza cutters Itoh and pours the teeth in her mouth, setting up the running booth. Back up and Gage sends Danhausen through another door as Itoh drops Kaicho. Stereo falling headbutts give Gage and Itoh the stereo pins at 13:01.

Rating: C+. What were you expecting here? It was basically a way to have Gage vs. Danhausen and it wasn’t exactly good. Gage is as big of a star as he can be around here and more or less it gave him a way to get on the card. Danhausen has fallen really hard in recent months and while he’s not done yet, it would be nice to see him getting to do something else to freshen things up a bit.

Post match Gage thanks the fans so the winners can leave.

We recap Blake Christian defending the GCW World Title against Joey Janela. No one likes Christian so it’s time for Janela to save the title from a horrible champion. He’s also standing up to Christian for going after Missy Hyatt, because that is a thing that is happening in 2024.

GCW World Title: Blake Christian vs. Joey Janela

Christian, with Shane Mercer, is defending and Missy Hyatt (with Gucci purse) is here with Janela. We get the Big Match Intros and Janela is in the Lex Luger Summerslam 1993 gear, which can’t go badly whatsoever. The mic goes out during Christian’s entrance because even the electronics don’t like Christian.

They fight over a lockup to start and that goes a grand total of nowhere. Janela shoulders him out to the floor but Christian is back in to slug away. A backdrop does a bit better for Janela and it’s time for a door. That takes too long so it’s Christian hitting a dive to send the door into Janela for a change. We hit the hair pull, followed by a chinlock, which isn’t a good sign less than ten minutes into the match.

Janela fights up but gets sent outside, where Mercer puts him into the post. Christian sends him face first through a chair and even busts out a cartwheel inside. Back up and Janela manages a quick cutter into a brainbuster for two, meaning frustration is starting to set in. That takes too long so Christian is back up with a springboard elbow for two of his own.

Stereo clotheslines give us a double knockdown, followed by a DDT to plant Christian onto the apron. The door is set up at ringside but Christian slips out of a Death Valley Driver. Back in and Janela snaps off a German suplex, followed by the Death Valley Driver for two. Janela takes too much time going up and gets knocked down, allowing Christian to hit a springboard 450 for two of his own.

Christian sends him outside for the big flip dive into a Nightmare On Helm Street on the floor. A moonsault press is countered back inside and Janela hits a quick jackknife. Janela grabs a chair to knock Christian down and then wraps the chair around his head. Mercer offers a quick distraction though and it’s Christian coming back with a spinebuster through the chair.

A Stomp gives Christian two and the shock sets in quickly. Mercer throws in a mostly broken door and some chairs but Hyatt comes in, meaning Janela has to make the save. Janela knocks Mercer off the top and through another table at ringside, setting up a superplex through that rather lame looking door.

A top rope stomp onto the door onto Christian gets two but he’s back up with a quick DDT. They slug it out from their knees until Hyatt grabs Christian’s leg (only took her two tries). Christian pulls her in so Janela makes the save…and Hyatt hits Janela with the Gucci bag. A stomp onto the bag retains the title at 29:44.

Rating: D+. Janela has a tendency to go long in his matches and that was certainly the case here. This is a match that could have easily had fifteen minutes chopped off as they just didn’t have much going on here. Christian can do the moves well but he isn’t exactly a thrilling star otherwise. Janela did what he could but they couldn’t have telegraphed the ending any harder. Not a good main event, mainly as it went on WAY too long.

The fans throw in trash (the referee is NOT happy) to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This show started off well enough but it went on about four hours in total and the fans were just done by the main event. It’s a show where they needed to cut some time off from more than a few matches. I liked the show well enough and a good chunk of it had some of that strong GCW crowd energy, but the main event was rough. It doesn’t help that there is nothing worth going out of your way to see. Spring Break is supposed to be one of the really fun events and this was more forgettable than anything else.

Results
Rina Yamashita/Masha Slamovich b. Minoru Suzuki/Masato Tanaka – Crucifix to Tanaka
East West Express/Mike Bailey b. Rock N Roll Express/Kerry Morton – Double middle rope cutter to Ricky
Dragon Gate Classic b. Reiwa New Generation – Crucifix to Minoura
Cole Radrick won the Grab The Brass Ring Ladder Match
Matt Cardona b. Blue Pain – Radio Silence
Amazing Red b. Gringo Loco – Code Red
Mance Warner b. Effy when Effy quit
Nick Gage/Maki Itoh b. Danhausen/Ram Kaicho – Stereo falling headbutts
Blake Christian b. Joey Janela – Stomp onto a Gucci bag

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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American Dream 2024 In The Keystone State
Date: April 4, 2024
Location: 2300 Arena, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Tom Lawlor, Veda Scott

So this is from Stardom, the Japanese women’s promotion, who are in town for Wrestlemania Weekend. I was in town for the weekend and since I’m not likely to ever see something like this again in person, it was worth a look. I’m not sure what to expect from this and that’s part of the fun. Let’s get to it.

I was sitting in the corner of the arena for this show with the entrance on my right and the ring pretty much straight in front of me. Keep in mind that I do not follow Stardom whatsoever and will likely have no idea what is going on as far as characters or storylines. I apologize in advance for any errors but I’m coming in mostly blind.

The opening video runs down the card, which is only five matches.

High Speed Title: Mei Seira vs. Ram Kaichow vs. Saki Kashima

Seira is defending and from what I can tell, this is similar to the X-Division/Cruiserweight Title. The audio mix is really missing as commentary is barely audible over the entrance music and I can’t make out more than a few words of what they are saying. Seira has two belts and Kaichow has one, making things all the more confusing. The fans seem to like Kaichow, who might be a bit dead.

Kashima locks up with Kaichow, who has dust flying off of her to scare Kashima away. More dust gets Kaichow out of a double wristlock before they pick up the pace with Seira hitting a running basement dropkick on Kaichow. They run the ropes until the challengers fall down, leaving Seira as the only one standing. Kaichow rolls Seira up for two and an exchange of rollups give not-Kaichow two each. Back up and Kaichow throws more dust, allowing Kashima to pin Seira for the title at 5:06.

Rating: C+. Well they weren’t kidding about the HIGH SPEED part as this was rather fast paced until the ending, which came out of nowhere. I got the concept well enough and Kaichow’s dust thing made her stand out, but the other two didn’t do much to separate themselves from the other. Either way, it was a nice introduction to the show as it was flying by and kept me interested.

AZM/Saya Kamitani/Camron Branae vs. Stephanie Vaquer/Starlight Kid/Momo Watanabe

Saya and Kid start things off, which is apparently a big rivalry. They go to the mat and get nowhere so they both flip up for a staredown. Branae comes in for part of a triple Gory Bomb to put Kid down for two and it’s back to Saya, who gets caught with a headscissors. Watanabe crushes Saya in the corner but gets cut off with a spinning kick to the face. A springboard crossbody gives Saya two and a triple dropkick takes Watanabe down again.

Back up and Watanabe kicks Saya in the head and the double tag brings in AZM and Vaquer. AZM kicks Vaquer in the head and it’s back to Branae, who gets caught with Eat Defeat. Some running knees give Branae two but the villains (I think?) take her into the corner for the train of running shots. Everything breaks down and Kid dives onto the floor to take out AZM and Saya. That leaves Vaquer to headbutt Branae in the corner and go after her recently injured knee. Branae manages a neckbreaker but walks into a package piledriver onto the knee to give Vaquer the pin at 9:11.

Rating: C+. Another fast paced match here as they had a bit more time to showcase the people involved. Six women spread over nine minutes isn’t much but it’s better than cramming it into even less time. Vaquer felt like a star and that makes sense as she is the New Japan Women’s Strong Champion. Not a great match, but if the idea is to get as many people on the show as possible, they’re doing well.

Willow Nightingale/Saki vs. Konami/Syuri

Syuri is one of the most revered names going today and I might have seen her once before. Saki and Syuri start things off with Syuri grabbing a rollup for a fast two, giving us an early standoff. Nightingale comes in for a double shoulder to Syuri but she’s back up t kick Saki in the back for two. Konami comes in for a dropkick and a one kneed cover gets two. It’s already back to Syuri for a kick to the back but Saki suplexes her way to freedom. Nightingale comes back in to run Syuri over, setting up a spinebuster for two.

A Cannonball misses though and Syuri gets two off a DDT. Everything breaks down and Syuri and Konami grab stereo holds, both of which are broken up just as fast. Syuri chokes Saki on the floor, leaving Konami to missile dropkick Nightingale. Saki is back in to make a save and Konami is tossed onto Syuri. Nightingale has had enough of this and hits a heck of a Pounce on Konami, setting up a DDT for two. The Babe With The Powerbomb finishes for Nightingale at 8:28.

Rating: B-. Another fun match here but they were blazing through it again. That’s been a trend with this show, which isn’t the best idea for a five match card. Nightingale continues to be a ball of energy no matter where she is and it’s great to see her getting a win like this. Now give her a win with some gold on the line and it’ll be even better.

Mayu Iwatani/Tam Nakano/Momo Kohgo vs. Mina Shirakawa/Mariah May/Xia Brookside

This is Stars vs. Club Venus, the latter of which comes off as some kind of pop band/Mean Girls deal. Venus seems to be mainly about Shirakawa, with the other two being her henchwomen. May ducks Kohgo’s running dropkick to start and plans her with a very spinning side slam. Brookside comes in for the running knees to the back and we get a triple Venus pose.

The fans approve of Shirakawa coming in and grabbing a quickly released surfboard. May comes back in but gets caught with a dropkick, allowing Kohgo to hit a crossbody. Iwatani comes in and gets to pick up the pace, including a double springboard wristdrag to May and Shirakawa. May is back up with a Sling Blade and it’s Shirakawa coming in for a kick to the head. Nakano comes in for the first time for a shake off (just go with it) with Shirakawa.

A hanging suplex gives Shirakawa two and it’s Brookside coming in with a neckbreaker for the same. Everything breaks down and a double 619 hits Brookside to give Nakano two. Venus is back in with a double Paige Turner to give Brookside her own near fall on Nakano. There’s a running Codebreaker to drop Nakano as everything breaks down again. Iwatani hits a big dive to the floor and a kick to the face gets two on Brookside, with the rest of Venus making the save. Nakano has had it with this and grabs Twilight Dream (tiger suplex) for the pin at Brookside at 12:13.

Rating: B-. This was another case where the extra time helped but the other thing here was it felt like Venus came off as a full time team rather than two people thrown together. Everyone got a chance to shine here and it felt like more of a showcase, with Brookside getting a lot of time in there. Good stuff here, and probably the best match of the show so far.

Post match the winners leave….and here is Toni Storm, with the AEW Women’s Title and a bouquet of flowers. She talks about the time she has had in Philadelphia, where she started with Easter Championship Wrestling. Storm: “I’ll have you know that this is the very place where I entered Sandman.” She puts over Stardom and praises May, even giving her the flowers. As for Mina Shirakawa, who is standing in the ring as well, the Forbidden Door is always open. Shirakawa is game.

We recap the main event. Maika is the World Champion, Megan Bayne is a power monster, they’ve teamed together and fought before, title match on.

World Of Stardom Title: Maika vs. Megan Bayne

Bayne, billed as the Megasus and the much larger of the two, is challenging. Maika tries some running shoulders to no avail so she tells Bayne to come on. An armdrag works better but Bayne is back up to run her over with a real shoulder. A butterfly suplex gets two, followed by a Samoan drop for the same.

Back up and some running clotheslines in the corner give Maika two and she goes after the arm. Bayne powers up and suplexes her way to freedom, setting up a side slam for two more. Maika puts her up top for a superplex and another near fall, followed by a cutter for the same. Bayne is back with a big boot and a heck of a running clothesline to leave them both down.

Back up and they slug it out until Maika snaps off a powerslam. Maika catches her up top with a powerbomb for one but Bayne is back with a heck of a spear. An apron German suplex gives Bayne two more with an F5 getting the same. They go up again and this time it’s a super Michinoku Driver to give Maika two of her own. A Michinoku Driver II gives Maika the pin at 14:24.

Rating: B. This was just starting to cook when they went home, with Maika being a good fighting from underneath champion. Bayne is a monster with something of a Beth Phoenix look/style so there was an obvious story to be told here. Good match and the best part of the show, though they could have gone longer.

Post match respect is shown and here is Momo Watanabe to say she’s the next challenger. Watanabe pulls back her baseball bat to swing at Maika but Bayne gets in her way and sends Watanabe bailing. Maika says they’re on for April 27 in Yokohama before leading the fans in the WE ARE STARDOM chant to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. That’s it? The show didn’t even run an hour and forty five minutes, with the longest match out of five lasting less than fifteen minutes. I’m not sure if that is Stardom’s style, but this was really short and felt like it could have gone another hour or so. What we got was good, but I was sitting in the crowd wondering what else they were going to do because it wasn’t even two hours and then the show just ended. For the prices being charged, this should have been more, as it just didn’t last long enough. What we got was good, but egads give us more than that.

Results
Saki Kashima b. Ram Kaichow and Mei Seira – Crucifix to Seira
Stephanie Vaquer/Starlight Kid/Momo Watanabe b. AZM/Saya Kamitani/Camron Branae – Package piledriver onto the knee to Branae
Stars b. Club Venus – Twilight Dream to Brookside
Maika b. Megan Bayne – Michinoku Driver II

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Wrestle Kingdom XVIII
Date: January 4, 2024
Location: Tokyo Dome, Tokyo, Japan
Commentators: Walker Stewart, Chris Charlton, Rocky Romero

It’s the biggest non-American show of the year and the show tends to be rather awesome. New Japan hasn’t seemed as prominent in recent months but this show is always worth at least a look. The main event will see IWGP World Heavyweight Champion Sanada defending against Tetsuya Naito, plus a secondary big match between Kazuchika Okada and Bryan Danielson. Let’s get to it.

Note that I barely keep up with New Japan so I will not know a good deal of backstories, alliances or anything in that area. I’ll be primarily going off what commentary tells me.

New Japan Ranbo

90 second (ish) intervals and the final four are qualifiers for the King Of Pro Wrestling competition (which is a whole thing in its own right). Chase Owens is in at #1 and Great O Khan is in at #2. They go with the expected striking and grappling to start but neither can get anywhere. Gabriel Kidd is in at #3 and gets to beat on both of them, as tends to be the case. Alex Coughlin (Kidd’s stable mate) is in at #4 as O Khan chops away at Kidd in the corner.

The double teaming is on until Jeff Cobb is in at #5 and house is quickly cleaned. Coughlin gets in some shots of his own and it’s Henare in at #6. O Khan, Henare and Cobb (stable mates in the United Empire) get rid of Coughlin and Kidd so here is Tomohiro Ishii in at #7. The trio goes after Ishii but can’t really do much to slow him down. Mikey Nicholls is in at #8 and slugs it out with Henare to little effect. Cobb can’t get rid of Ishii so we keep up with the brawling on the ropes until Shane Haste (Nicholls’ partner in the Mighty Don’t Kneel) is in at #9.

Haste dropkicks Ishii to start and Nicholls suplexes O Khan as Yujiro Takahashi is in at #10. For some reason he brings in a cane, which goes horribly wrong. The Mighty manage to get rid of Cobb and Henare (off camera) but Master Wato is in at #11 to keep the ring a bit more full. That gives us Owens, O Khan, Ishii, Nicholls, Haste, Takahashi and Wato. Yoshinobu Kanemaru is in at #12 and gets to stomp on pretty much everyone else.

A triple submission has O Khan in a lot of trouble but more brawling ensues instead of an elimination. Yoh is in at #13 and is wearing a track suit instead of regular gear so the Mighty beat him up out of principle. Ishii blocks a double suplex and DDTs the Mighty instead as Sho (the Murder Machine) is in at #14. Yoh, his former partner, comes up to brawl with him on the ramp, meaning it’s a fight over Sho’s….wrench. Uh yeah wrench.

Sho gets the better of things and it’s Fujita Hayato in at #15. That seems to be a big surprise and he jumps both Sho and Yoh on the ramp. The three of them get inside with Hayato cleaning house. Taiji Ishimori is in at #16 as Ishii puts Haste on the apron and sends Nicholls into him for the elimination. Ishii and Nicholls go to the apron, where the latter is eliminated as well. Some interference gets rid of Ishii and Hayato is kicked out as Douki is in at #17.

Douki and Ishimori are dumped out by some double teaming and Toru Yano is in at #18. His entrance takes so long that it’s Takashi Iizuka (apparently retired but still rather scary) is in at #19. House is quickly cleaned and Iizuka, after rejecting a House Of Torture shirt, grabs a choke. Taichi is in at #20 (singing his way to the ring) but Iizuka is up with some kind of iron claw (must be a movie fan) to beat up various people.

Sho and Kanemaru are tossed, leaving us with Taichi vs. Iizuka, which apparently has a history. They shake hands but Iizuka bites him in the head, allowing a bunch of people to toss them both out. We’re down to Owens, O Khan, Ishimori, Yoh and Yano (apparently there were some off screen eliminations), with everyone going after O Khan. Owens takes him to the apron but gets knocked out instead, leaving O Khan, Ishimori, Yoh and Yano as the winners at 32:43.

Rating: C+. This is the “get a lot of people on the show” match but this edition worked a bit better than previous years. It felt like they were trying to put some stories in there rather than random people coming out and getting in fights. I liked this well enough and it was a fun start to the show, with the fans certainly seeming to be stunned by Iizuka, who did look cool.

A brawl ensues post match and an announcer loses his clothes for some reason.

As usual, the opening video runs down the card in order (still not sure if I like that or not) with the bigger matches getting the attention.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles: Catch 22 vs. Bullet Club War Dogs

Catch 22 (Francesco Akira/TJP) are challenging Clark Connors/Drilla Moloney. TJP was locked in a coffin in an earlier match so here he has to claw out and seems a bit more monstrous. We get the intros and TJP reveals one heck of a scary mask (to go with the claws, because he has claws). TJP starts for the champs but gets sent outside for a quick double teaming, including a double dive. Connors is rather pleased and chains TJP to the barricade.

Akira gets beaten down inside and the bleeding Moloney gets in some shots of his own to keep Akira down. Connors powers him into the corner but Akira manages to ram them into each other, setting up a Canadian Destroyer. TJP is back in (commentary isn’t sure how he got free either) and it’s time to clean house.

A running knee in the corner rocks Moloney as everything breaks down. The Drilla Killa (over the shoulder running piledriver) hits TJP but he pops up, only to be taken down by Connors. A spear knocks Akira off the apron as Drilla gets two on TJP. Everyone gets back in and TJP mists Moloney, setting up stereo running knees to give Catch 22 the titles back at 9:26.

Rating: B-. Well they weren’t going to have Catch 22 loses after that kind of an entrance and this made for a good opener to the show proper. Catch 22 has been a good team every time I’ve seen them and the War Dogs got to show off here as well, which is often the case in an opener like this. Good stuff here as the show is starting well.

TV Title: Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Zack Sabre Jr.

Tanahashi (now the company’s president) is challenging and the match has a fifteen minute time limit. Sabre goes after the arms to start and spins around to grab a hammerlock. A quick Twist and Shout gets Tanahashi out of trouble and then does it a few more times to set up a Sling Blade for two. Tanahashi hits a high crossbody but the High Fly Flow (frog splash) hits raised knees. Sabre’s PK is cut off so Tanahashi goes for the Texas Cloverleaf.

That’s reversed into a triangle choke, which is reversed into another Cloverleaf. With that broken up, Sabre grabs a cross armbreaker, only to have them fight over an abdominal stretch. Tanahashi rolls him up for two and they get up for a chop off. Sabre pulls him into a choke so Tanahashi flips backwards for two and the…well not escape actually as Sabre hangs on. Sabre twists his boots around Tanahashi’s head and they trade rollups….with Tanahashi actually getting the pin and the title at 8:51.

Rating: B. This didn’t have a ton of time to get things going but there’s the point of the time limit. I do like the idea of seeing the ending coming out of nowhere as it was a nice surprise and played up the idea of Tanahashi getting what might be one last moment. I’m sure there ill be jokes about Tanahashi getting the title after he takes over the company but Tanahashi winning a title feels right.

Post match Tanahashi wishes the fans a happy new year.

Yota Tsuji vs. Yuya Uemura

These two seem to have quite the rivalry with Tsuji looking rather evil. Feeling out process to start with Tsuji powering him out to the floor, setting up a heck of a suicide dive. Back in and Tsuji keeps up the slow beating but gets pulled into a quickly broken cross armbreaker. Tsuji kicks him down again but Uemura comes back up with some slaps to the face. The always nice dropkick puts Tsuji down and they both get a breather.

A belly to back suplex plants Tsuji but the high crossbody misses. They go up top, where Tsuji backflips down and superkicks a diving Uemura out of the air. A suplex into a powerbomb (cool) gets two on Uemura but he avoids a Curb Stomp. Instead Uemura snaps off a German suplex and a dragon suplex gets two on Tsuji. The Deadbolt (a double arm trap suplex) finishes for Uemura at 10:59.

Rating: B-. This was a match where it felt like they were telling a story, with the evil Tsuji facing the more wholesome Uemura. You could see Uemura doing the technical stuff and ultimately winning with a catchy suplex. Good stuff here, and it seems to be part of a rivalry that is going to be continuing.

House Of Torture vs. Shota Umino/Kaito Kiyomiya

Kaito is from Pro Wrestling Noah and Umino comes down on a motorcycle. The House is Ren Narita/Evil, flanked by all kinds of people. It’s a brawl to start and Umino and Kiyomiya grab stereo submissions. Fellow House member Yoshinobu Kanemaru rings the bell for the save and the ref if bumped in there somewhere. Dick Togo comes in for an assisted low blow for a delayed two on Kiyomiya.

Somehow Kiyomiya gets over for the tag but he has to beat up more of the House on the floor. Back in and a Trident (reverse inverted DDT) and a series of strikes get two on Narita. Evil makes the save with…something that looked like a jacket and Everything Is Evil plants Kiyomiya. Umino German suplexes Narita but he’s back with some kind of a bar to Umino’s face for the pin at 7:04.

Rating: C. I’ve seen the House more than once over the years and nothing they’ve done has made me want to see more. It’s like cheating is the only thing they do rather than something that they do and that gets old in a hurry. Umino vs. Narita feels like part of a big feud (tends to be the case with former Young Lions) so odds are they have a long way to go.

Never Openweight Title: Tama Tonga vs. Shingo Takagi

Takagi is defending and this is more or less the tough man title. As such they slug it out to start and trade shoulders to limited avail. Takagi gets caught with a dropkick to cut him down, followed by a suplex to do it again. Back up and Takagi manages a running elbow to the face and Tonga is knocked outside. That means the big running flip dive, followed by some seemingly meaningful yelling into the camera back inside.

Tonga manages to neckbreaker his way to freedom, followed by a top rope superplex for a heck of a bounce. Takagi is back up but can’t hit Last Off The Dragon. Instead it’s a Tonga Twist into a frog splash for two. One heck of a powerbomb gives Takagi two of his own and they both need a breather.

Tonga is right back with a Gun Stun, followed by Bloody Sunday for one. Takagi gets up so Tonga BLASTS HIM with a clothesline to put him back down. Tonga’s running forearm doesn’t work so Takagi hits his own Gun Stun. Made In Japan is good for a rather near fall but a second is escaped. Tonga hits a Styles Clash into another Gun Stun into the DSD (or something like that) for the pin and the title at 13:47.

Rating: B. These matches tend to be about who can hit the other the hardest and keep getting up and that’s what we had here. I’ll take this kind of a match over the “you chop me, I’ll chop you” fests as they were both laying it in throughout this one. Tonga wins the title back, which seems to be a recurring theme, but it’s also a nice fit for him. Good fight here, though I’m not sure if there was much of a story built in.

Nick Nemeth (Dolph Ziggler) and his brother Ryan Nemeth are here in a surprise.

IWGP Tag Team Titles/Strong Openweight Tag Team Titles: Bishamon vs. Guerrillas Of Destiny

For both sets of titles (not unification), with Bishamon (Hirooki Goto/Yoshi Hashi) holding the IWGP and the Guerrillas (Hikuleo/El Phantasmo) holding the Strong. Hashi chops away at Phantasmo to start but Goto comes in to run him over. Hikuleo comes in for a double suplex to take over and the fans seem impressed. A side slam into a middle rope elbow gets two on Goto as the Guerrillas clear the ring.

Sudden Death (superkick) is broken up though and Hashi suplexes his way out of trouble. The bigger Hikuleo is sent outside and a running Blockbuster/Russian legsweep combination drops Phantasmo. Back up and Phantasmo manages a running hurricanrana to bring Goto off the top and into Hashi for a big crash. Phantasmo superkicks Hikuleo by mistake though and it’s Goto getting to make the comeback.

An assisted knee to the chest gives Goto two on Phantasmo and an assisted Nightmare On Helm Street gets the same, with Hikuleo making the save this time. Goto manages a fireman’s carry backbreaker for two on Hikuleo but Phantasmo is back in with a superkick to put Goto down. With Phantasmo moonsaulting onto Hashi, setting up Super Thunder Kiss 86 (that’s a great name) for a rather near fall and what is apparently a first time kickout. A piledriver into a frog splash from Hikuleo finishes Goto for the titles at 9:46.

Rating: B. The match was good but it never hit that next level. I’ve heard little but praise for Bishamon and while they were doing good stuff here, it felt like the first half of what should have been a bigger match. The results also felt like a bit of an upset, even with the other champions having a rather rough night so far.

Celebrating ensues post match.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title: El Desperado vs. Hiromu Takahashi

Takahashi is defending and these two feel like they’ve been feuding on and off forever. Desperado doesn’t feel like waiting around so he drops Takahashi with a running flip dive to the floor. Back in and Desperado has to bail out of a top rope splash, allowing Takahashi to hit a running corner dropkick. They head back to the floor with Takahashi sending him over the barricade, followed by a Falcon Arrow for one back inside.

Desperado pulls him into a Brock Lock to work on the leg, with Takahashi bailing straight to the rope. The leg is banged up though and a shinbreaker makes it worse. Takahashi manages a quick knockdown for a breather and then backdrops his way out of a double underhook. They both need a breather before Takahashi grabs a rebound German suplex. Desperado gets the Block Lock again but Takahashi fights out, this time grabbing the Time Bomb for two.

Time Bomb II doesn’t quite work due to the knee so Desperado winds up on top. A super sitout bulldog is countered though, with Desperado hitting a swinging belly to back superplex instead. Desperado misses the big right hand and gets superkicked down to rock him rather well. Time Bomb II is countered again, this time with Desperado hitting something like an Angle Slam. Pinche Loco gets two on Takahashi and they both need another breather. Desperado is back up with a Jay Driller into another Pinche Loco for the pin and the title at 13:51.

Rating: B+.Yeah this worked and you can tell that the two of them have worked together a bunch of times. They had the chemistry flowing and it felt like they were building all the way throughout. Desperado winning the title feels like a huge moment and that’s how something like this is supposed to feel. Probably the best match on the show thus far and I worked rather well.

IWGP Global Heavyweight Title: Jon Moxley vs. David Finlay vs. Will Ospreay

For the inaugural Title, which is replacing the United States Title, which was held by Ospreay. Moxley and Ospreay, who have a pre-match agreement (which only lasts five minutes), jump Finlay to start so he bails out to the floor. The fans don’t approve, but they do like Ospreay kicking Finlay in the face. Moxley crotches Finlay on the barricade for a running clothesline and the double beating goes into the aisle. Finlay manages to send Moxley over some crates and goes after Ospreay, only to get dropped by Moxley again.

A table is loaded up and Finlay is sent through it but the five minute time limit is (mostly) up so Ospreay and Moxley can fight each other. They forearm it out until Moxley grabs a nasty German suplex. Ospreay is able to catch him in the corner with the Cheeky Nandos kick but Moxley snaps off a sleeper suplex. Ospreay’s Spanish Fly is countered into a cross armbreaker but Moxley can’t hang on.

The Death Rider and Stormbreaker are both broken up but Finlay is back on his feet. A neckbreaker (with shillelagh) puts Ospreay down on the apron but Moxley (yes he’s bleeding) is back up. That’s fine with Ospreay, who hits a handspring double kick to the head. Ospreay sends them both outside for a heck of a moonsault. Back in and Moxley is fine enough to hit the Death Rider for two on Ospreay, followed by the bulldog choke. Ospreay is back up but the Stormbreaker is countered into a sunset flip.

With Moxley blocking said flip, he piledrives the invading Finlay onto Ospreay for two in a clever counter. Moxley grabs some chairs to throw inside, one of which hits Ospreay square in the head, and two of which are set up back to back. That takes too long of course, allowing Finlay to put Moxley down and plant Ospreay onto him. Moxley is back up to Death Ride Ospreay, who pops back up with the Hidden Blade, only to have Finlay steal the cover for two. Finlay gets sent outside but comes right back, where he is promptly beaten back down.

Ospreay and Moxley load up something but cue the Bullet Club War Dogs to jump both of them. Some tables are loaded up outside, allowing Moxley and Ospreay to fight back. The Dogs are put on the tables for a huge Swanton from Ospreay, with Coughlin being left in a hole in the table. Back in and Moxley hits Finlay with a Death Rider, only to get caught with the Hidden Blade for….one. Stormbreaker drops Moxley but Finlay is back with the brainbuster onto the knee for two. A knee to the back and another to the face finish Ospreay to give Finlay the title at 22:21.

Rating: B+. This was a heck of a match with Finlay not quite stealing the title as much as he survived to get the win. Moxley and Ospreay beat him up for a good while until everything went nuts, with the interference being the biggest downside. Finlay seems to be a big deal here and with Ospreay going to AEW and Moxley going back to AEW, it was the best choice of the three.

Post match Finlay yells at Nick Nemeth, who gets in his face and is slapped back down. The fight is on until everything is broken up. It’s split up but starts again, as tends to be the case in wrestling. Good debut for Nemeth, who showed some fire here.

Kazuchika Okada vs. Bryan Danielson

Rematch from Forbidden Door, where Danielson beat him. Okada steps into a glass case and his ring gear changes for a rather unique entrance. Danielson on the other hand has an eye patch thanks to Okada, so it’s time for revenge. Feeling out process to start with Danielson winning a grapple off, sending Okada over to the ropes. They forearm it out until Okada gets two off a DDT.

Okada goes vicious with the running kick to the eye and things head outside. Danielson is back up with a jumping knee and then slams the barricade onto Okada for a nasty crash. Back in and a wrist clutch northern lights suplex gives Danielson two, meaning it’s time to break an arm. Significant cranking ensues but Okada slips out and kicks him in the eye. An Air Raid Crash onto the knee puts Danielson back down and Okada goes up.

That takes a good while though and Danielson catches him with an uppercut into a butterfly superplex. The LeBell Lock goes on but Okada is right next to the rope. They head to the apron, where Okada grabs a Tombstone to plant Danielson again. Danielson manages to get back in so the eye patch comes off, with Okada getting in some boot scrapes in the corner. Okada misses his top rope elbow so Danielson kicks him square in the arm, followed by another to the head.

The hammer and anvil elbows have Okada…actually more angry than anything else so Danielson hits the running knee for two. Danielson is livid and grabs something like the Rings of Saturn with his leg instead of an arm. Somehow Okada makes the bottom rope so Danielson grabs the arms again and stomps away at the head.

The LeBell Lock is broken up though and Okada uses the good arm for the Rainmaker. Okada hits him in the face again but has to fight off another LeBell Lock attempt. Another Rainmaker is loaded up but Danielson kicks him in the good arm. A kick to the head and the running knee rock Okada, who avoids another running knee. The Rainmaker finishes Danielson at 23:24.

Rating: A. They surprised me a bit with that finish as I was expecting it to go on even longer. The arm vs. the eye stuff went very well and it wouldn’t shock me to see them face off one more time in some neutral territory. This was every bit as good as it felt like it should have been and I liked it more than the Forbidden Door match. It helped that I could feel the hatred from Danielson, while Okada was more about refusing to lose. Awesome match and well worth a look, as I was left wanting more for a rare feeling.

We recap Tetsuya Naito challenging Sanada for the World Title. Naito won the G1 Climax tournament to earn the shot, then played baseball. Sanada stood on a cliff and held up the title, while looking rather spiffy in a blue suit. This is also more or less Naito’s last chance, while Sanada wanted to show that he can beat his former stable leader.

IWGP World Heavyweight Title: Sanada vs. Tetsuya Naito

Sanada is defending and they go technical to start, with Sanada working on the leg on the mat. Naito reverses into a headscissors but Sanada is up without much effort. Sanada sends him outside and flips back in, where he holds the ropes open for Naito in a rather disrespectful move. Back in and Naito drops him down hard onto the knee to bang up the neck, followed by a cravate.

A backbreaker onto the knee sets up a double arm/neck crank with the legs as Sanada can’t get much going so far. With that one broken up, Sanada avoids a clothesline and dropkicks the knee, setting up a backdrop suplex. A double leapfrog into a dropkick sends Naito outside, with the required dive following. Back in and a TKO gives Sanada two, followed by the dragon sleeper. Naito gets over to the ropes and out to the apron, where a legsweep drops Sanada hard.

Another drop onto the head has Sanada’s neck in more trouble but he beats the count at 18. A super hurricanrana plants Sanada, with commentary calling the move a good luck charm for Naito. The springboard tornado DDT is countered though and Sanada grabs a hanging swinging neckbreaker for the double knockdown. Sanada nips up and hits a Shining Wizard, only to have the moonsault hit knees as he can’t go full Muta.

Naito is back up first and strikes away at the neck, followed by something like a flipping middle rope cutter. Destino connects for no cover but Sanada reverses into a TKO. Sanada’s moonsault gets two and frustration is setting in, but Naito suplexes him onto his head, setting up a spinebuster. More elbows to the neck set up Destino or no cover (that seems like a bad idea).

Another Destino doesn’t go through clean and Sanada is up at two. A Dead Fall plants Naito again and they’re both down for a bit. They strike it out again and Sanada hits something like a Destino of his own. Naito kick shim in the head and hits the tornado DDT but Sanada is back with a bridging rollup for two. Sanada blasts him with another Shining Wizard but Dead Fall is countered into the same thing from Naito. A brainbuster plants Sanada and one heck of a Destino makes Naito champion at 25:35.

Rating: B+. This took some time to get going but the last few minutes were were really good, with the ans going nuts on everything. Sanada put in a heck of a performance of his own and had some very good moments in there, but this was about Naito and the ending was a big rush of emotion from the fans. That’s what you want from a main event like this and Naito gets his big moment. Pretty great main event, especially when it was coming after Danielson vs. Okada.

Post match Naito is busted open but gets the title. He loads up the Los Ingobernables Roll Call (a big thing that was interrupted in his previous chance) but cue the House of Torture to break it up again. Sanada comes in for the save and the fans approve. With the villains cleared out, Sanada shows respect and then leaves. Naito puts his hat on and says he’s holding his microphone because of Sanada, who appreciates that. He thanks the fans and promises a big year before getting to do the roll call that he didn’t get to do years ago. Naito gets the big walk off as commentary wraps everything up.

Overall Rating: A-. This show went the better part of six hours (Kickoff Show included) and it never felt that long, which is one heck of a trick. There was a lot of good stuff here, with the Danielson vs. Okada match being the best on the show. Some of the other matches were getting up there but didn’t quite get over the hump, but when you add them all up, it was a Wrestle Kingdom worthy show. At the very least, they kept it to one night to really make things better. Check this out if you have the chance, though skip the House Of Torture…well everything from them really.

Results
Great O Khan, Taiji Ishimori, Yoh and Toru Yano won the New Japan Ranbo
Catch 22 b. Bullet Club War Dogs – Stereo running knees to Moloney
Hiroshi Tanahashi b. Zack Sabre Jr. – Rollup
Yuya Uemura b. Yota Tsuji – Deadbolt
House Of Torture b. Shota Umino/Kaito Kiyomiya – Bar to Umino’s face
Tama Tonga b. Shingo Takagi – DSD
Guerrillas Of Destiny b. Bishamon – Frog splash to Goto
El Desperado b. Hiromu Takahashi – Pinche Loco
David Finlay b. Will Ospreay and Jon Moxley – Knee to Ospreay
Kazuchika Okada b. Bryan Danielson – Rainmaker
Tetsuya Naito b. Sanada – Destino

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Shiima Xion: From A To DJZ
Date: 2015
Commentators: Joe Dombrowski, Various
Host: Joe Dombrowski

So this is a rather random DVD I got in a grab bag sale a good while ago and I can see why I haven’t wanted to jump into it. What we have here is a look at the Pro Wrestling Ohio/Prime Wrestling career of Shimma Xion, who would go on to be Zema Ion/DJZ in Impact and Joaquin Wilde in NXT/WWE. I’m really not sure that warrants a DVD but I’ve been surprised before. Let’s get to it.

Joe Dombrowski narrates an opening, which is mainly an intro to the first match.

There’s no date given for this but I believe it’s from Pro Wrestling Ohio TV in Lakewood, Ohio on December 15, 2007.

Morty Rackem/Shiima Xion vs. V-Squared

Hobo Joe is with Rackem and Xion while V-Squared is Virus/Virus Grande. V-Squared jump them to start and are quickly knocked outside. Stereo dives take out V-Squared again as we hear about Rackem’s pirate enthusiasm. We settle down to Xion kicking Grande in the face and headscissoring him into Virus. Rackem comes in for a double elbow and a monkey flip out of the corner as this is one sided so far.

It’s back to Xion for two off a dropkick but Grande manages a quick suplex for the tag to Virus. A quickly broken Muta Lock has Xion In more trouble and Grande comes back in for a basement dropkick between the shoulders. Xion fights up and hits a reverse DDT to drop Virus, allowing the hot tag off to Rackem for the house cleaning. Everything breaks down and Rackem grabs some near falls but Grande hits a half nelson backbreaker. Xion gets in a tornado DDT though and Rackem rolls up Virus for the pin at 7:39.

Rating: C. If there was a story behind this one, I wasn’t exactly seeing it. Instead we had a pretty run of the mill match with Rackem and Xion flying around while V-Squared were generic villains. I’m not sure how much this was for a Xion showcase but it shows him early in his career, even if he didn’t do much here.

From January 24, 2010 in Niles, Ohio at a Pro Wrestling Ohio/Championship Wrestling Extreme joint show.

CWE Undisputed Title: Michael Facade vs. Hallowicked vs. Jigsaw vs. Shiima Xion

Facade (The Suburban Terrorist) is defending and this is one fall to a finish. Xion and Jigsaw start things off as apparently this has tags. They go to the mat to start with Xion’s headlocks not getting him very far early on. Xion works on the arm but Jigsaw is right back up as they’re still firmly in the “let’s flip around and not do much” gear. Facade comes in for a high crossbody on Jigsaw before Facade and Xion hit stereo running dives to the other two.

Back in and Facade kicks Hallowicked in the face but Jigsaw drops Facade with a clothesline. Hallowicked takes over on Facade before handing it back to Jigsaw as this has turned into something of a tag match. We hit the chinlock on Facade for a bit, followed by wheelbarrow into a gutbuster to give Hallowicked two. As expected, Jigsaw and Hallowicked get in an argument over the cover as commentary reminds us that Xion is in fact in this match. facade grabs a double DDT to escape and it’s back to Xion.

Everything breaks down and the villains are sent outside, leaving Facade to suplex Xion for two. Jigsaw rolls Hallowicked up for two but Facade takes them both down. A running STO gives facade two on Xion but Jigsaw tries to superkick Hallowicked. With that broken up, Xion superkicks Jigsaw into a German suplex, allowing Facade to get two off a rollup. Facade finally grabs la majistral to pin Hallowicked and retain at 11:39.

Rating: B-. It got better near the end as everyone just started doing stuff and Facade won. Sure it’s cliched, but I’ll take it over a pretty dull tag match. Facade always feels a little bit different than most stars and he did it again here. The villains did their thing well enough, but this really felt like a tag match over a four way. Much like the opener though, you would have almost no idea that this was on a Xion DVD as he was the least important of all four involved.

Xion is now rather heelish and brags about his Filipino looks and physique, complete with hairspray. He’s coming to us from “the finest sweatshops, straight out of Manila.” Obey the spray.

From Pro Wrestling Ohio TV, possibly sometime in mid-2011.

Shiima Xion vs. Ben Fruith

Fruith seems to be quite the nerd. Xion applies some hairspray and they fight over wrist control to start. Fruith is sent into the corner but avoids a charge and comes out with an armdrag into an armbar. Back up Fruith has to slip out of a bell to back suplex and gets a rollup (yes, it’s called the Fruith Rollup) for two. Not that it matters as Xion pulls him into a crossface for the tap at 3:47.

Rating: C. This was at least something of a showcase for Xion, which is what this has been needing so far. Fruith was little more than a guy who seems to be a bit out there and having Xion squash him made more sense. There wasn’t much to the match, but at least it was about Xion this time. This was also a much more interesting Xion, who was showing some more personality and charisma.

Post match Xion hair sprays Fruith’s eyes.

No date given on this one,

Shiima Xion vs. Michael Facade

Xion bails to the floor to start before coming back in for Facade to crank on his arm. Xion reverses that into a headlock takeover but Facade is right back up with a dropkick into the corner. The armdrag into an armbar has Facade in control, only to have Xion fight up and hit a dropkick. A middle rope moonsault gives Xion two and we hit the chinlock.

Back up and Facade misses a charge and falls out to the floor but comes back in with a rope walk dropkick. Back in and the Arabian moonsault hits Xion’s raised knees, meaning Xion can grab the crossface. Facade rolls out for the escape and grabs a rollup for the quick pin at 8:17.

Rating: C+. Facade is someone who can move around in a different way than a lot of people and it makes him easy to watch. That was the case in the four way earlier and it’s the same thing here. What’s also the same thing here is Xion not having much success, as this continues to be one of the stranger DVDs I’ve ever seen.

Post match Xion hits him with the can of hair spray before grabbing Facade’s spray paint. Two other guys run in to break up the blinding.

From some point after that match, Facade talks about losing a triple threat match with Xion jumps him. Xion loads up the spray paint, which his kids like to use on walls. He would be mad at that if he knew his kids’ names and then sprays the paint into Facade’s eyes.

From another Pro Wrestling Ohio/Championship Wrestling Extreme show in Niles, Ohio on May 2, 2010.

Championship Wrestling Extreme Undisputed Title #1 Contenders Tournament Semifinals: Shiima Xion vs. Louis Lyndon

Lyndon is also Facade’s friend and is fighting for his honor. Feeling out process to start until Lyndon kicks at the leg and scares Xion away. A German suplex gives Lyndon a fast two and some armdrags put Xion on the floor. That’s fine with Xion, who sends him face first into the apron and drops a leg back inside.

Xion crotches him on top and gets in the crossface in the corner (that’s a new one). A high crossbody gives Xion two but Lyndon is back with a jumping knee to the face, followed by a pump kick for two. Xion is right back to the (non-corner) crossface, which is stacked up for two and the escape. The hair spray is loaded up but the referee takes it away, allowing Lyndon to grab a dragon suplex for the pin at 6:51.

Rating: C+. Another completely decent match but I have to wonder what in the world is up with Xion losing almost every match on the set. We’re coming up on the halfway mark and unless Xion comes up with a heck of a winning streak, he’s going to come out of his own DVD with a losing record. Lyndon was just another guy who was fine enough but didn’t quite stand out, leaving me wondering why this was included.

From….apparently the same day, at an outdoor Pro Wrestling Ohio show this time in Berea, Ohio.

Pro Wrestling Ohio TV Title: Shiima Xion vs. Aaron Draven

Draven is defending (apparently having won the title at the same show from the previous match) and grabs a headlock to start. They go to the mat and fight over some hammerlocks until Draven gets a wristlock. Draven pulls him into an armbar as commentary ignores the match to talk about the main event. Xion kicks a standing moonsault out of the air, allowing him to get in some hair spray (to his own hair for once).

The chinlock goes on for a bit before Xion switches to choking on the ropes. Draven manages a Rocker Dropper for a breather and a high crossbody gets two. A missile dropkick gives Draven two more but Xion drops him face first onto the turnbuckle. Xion goes up but cue Michael Facade for a distraction, allowing Draven to hit a super Spanish Fly to retain (Maybe? The intro said it was for the title but commentary said it was non-title.) at 6:49.

Rating: C. My goodness this is already beyond ridiculous and it just keeps happening. Are we supposed to think of Xion as a loser after watching this thing? Anyway, another completely fine match and at least Xion lost via interference, but it would be nice to see him winning something on his own special.

Post match Facade runs back in and spray paints Xion’s eyes.

The voiceover talks about how Xion left for six months before returning to Prime Wrestling. Haven’t heard of Prime Wrestling? It’s the renamed Pro Wrestling Ohio, but that isn’t mentioned here as this DVD somehow gets worse and worse.

From Pro Wrestling Ohio TV (because it’s Pro Wrestling Ohio again) in Niles, Ohio, sometime around November 2010.

Shiima Xion vs. Jason Gory

Before the match, Xion talks about how he hasn’t been around for a bit and wants Michael Facade but can’t find him. Therefore, he wants anyone out here now and gets….Gory, who was mentioned by the voiceover. Xion takes him down with a headlock to start and grinds away. Back up and a running hurricanrana takes Gory down again but he grabs his own to send Xion onto the entrance ramp.

There’s the big running flip dive to take him down but Xion takes over again back inside. Gory slugs away though and grabs a Code Red for two. Xion hits a belly to back suplex flipped into a facebuster and they chop it out. Lust To Dust (forward Diamond Cutter) out of nowhere finishes Gory at 6:42.

Rating: C+. Well at least he won. It was against a guy in his second match in the promotion and didn’t last long but it’s better than another loss. If nothing else, it’s nice to see that Xion actually has a finishing move, even if it’s not one of the better options. Good enough match here, as Xion gets ready for his next match with Facade.

From Pro Wrestling Ohio: Pressure Rising.

Shiima Xion vs. Michael Facade

This is the big showdown after the exchange of eye attacks. Facade goes after him to start and Xion bails into the corner. After a chase on the floor, Facade grabs a springboard armdrag back inside and gets to hammer away. Xion misses a clothesline and gets caught with a springboard moonsault press for two. Some shots to the face finally slow Facade down and we hit the double arm crank.

Back up and Xion gets sent into the corner, setting up a Samoan drop for two. Facade gets his knees up to block a moonsault though and a bulldog drops Xion again. A superkick rocks Xion but Facade dropkicks the referee down (thanks to Xion pulling him in the way). They both grab their spray cans but miss the blasts to the face. Xion sends Facade into the corner, only to come back and reverse the hair spray into Xion’s face instead. A sitout Tombstone finishes for Facade at 7:02.

Rating: C+. We spent the better part of the last hour building up this match and it’s seven minutes long? I liked the ending and it was about as perfect of a way to wrap it up as they could have gone but I was expecting more from this showdown. The match itself was good, but not exactly a classic.

From some time after March 12, 2011 on Pro Wrestling Ohio TV.

Shiima Xion vs. Matthew Justice

Justice starts with an armbar as this show appears to be in a flea market or something similar, with customers walking around behind the crowd. An armdrag sets up another armbar to cut Xion off before a crucifix gets two. Xion grabs an atomic drop into a pair of boots to the face for two of his own.

We get the pose including the hair spray to the hair but Justice knocks him away and hits a middle rope sunset flip for another near fall. There’s a powerslam to plant Xion but he’s right back with the crossface. Justice is able to power up for a Death Valley Driver and a near fall so Justice heads to the apron. The springboard clothesline is pulled into the crossface though and Justice taps at 7:08.

Rating: C+. I’ve liked what I’ve seen from Justice before and he did well enough here, though Xion seemed to be a bigger star and the more logical pick to win. If nothing else, Xion needed a win coming off the loss to Facade and he did well enough here. It would be nice if Xion evolved a bit, but that doesn’t seem likely anytime soon.

Post match Xion hair sprays Justice.

From some other unspecified show.

Shiima Xion vs. Gory

Crimson, seemingly some kind of an evil force, leads Gory to the ring on a leash. Xion takes him to the mat to start before armdragging him into a front facelock (he’s wrestling much less evil here so we might have missed a change). Gory knocks him outside for a beating from Crimson and the choking is on back inside.

A slingshot elbow gets two for Gory, who shrugs off a middle rope crossbody and chokes away some more. Xion jawbreaks his way to freedom and slugs away before hitting a rather hard clothesline. Crimson’s distraction lets Gory Codebreaker him out of the air for two but cue Facade to distract Gory. Xion is able to grab a small package for the pin at 5:54.

Rating: C. This was a slightly different Xion and after watching him do the same thing for so long, it’s nice to see him getting to mix it up a bit. At the same time, this was another short match that didn’t get the chance to do anything. Anyway, at least it was something out of the ordinary, which is one of the best possible options.

Post match Facade and Xion stare each other down and don’t seem to like each other.

Another undated match from Niles, Ohio.

Shiima Xion vs. Gory vs. Michael Facade

For a future Pro Wrestling Ohio TV Title shot. Facade and Xion go at it to start but Gory quickly takes Facade’s name to go after Xion. With that not working, Xion is sent to the floor for a change, leaving Facade to send Gory outside. The rope walk dive hits Gory but Xion takes Facade down. Back in and Gory hits some rapid fire legdrops for two on Xion but Facade hits a springboard spinwheel kick for his own two on Gory.

Back up and Gory serves as the base for a Tower Of Doom, followed by the exchange of rollups for two each. Gory Backstabs Xion for two, with Facade making the save and taking him down as well. A sitout Alabama Slam gives Xion two on Facade, who is right back up with a springboard bulldog to Gory. Cue TV Champion Bobby Beverly to jump Facade for the DQ at 8:54.

Rating: B-. This is another match that was starting to get good before they wrapped it up out of nowhere. There is a good chance that this is going to result in a four way for the title anyway, which is not the worst idea as they were doing some good stuff. That being said, can we get another match to break ten minutes already?

Post match the beatdown stays on until Beverly finally leaves.

From another unspecified date in 2011 in Niles, Ohio.

Michael Facade/Shiima Xion vs. Bobby Beverly/Gory

Beverly grabs Facade’s wrist to start and shoves him down, only to have Facade tie up the leg on the mat. Gory comes in but gets shouldered down as Beverly has a seat at ringside. It’s off to Xion for a running boot to the face so Facade can come back in for a front facelock. Facade chops Xion for a tag so Xion chops Gory, saying that’s how Facade did it. A slap tag brings Facade back in but the argument lets Gory get in a shot to take over.

As commentary talks about Kevin Nash coming in for an upcoming show, Beverly comes back in for two off a suplex. Facade scores with a spinwheel kick and it’s back to a less than enthusiastic Xion. A springboard DDT hits Beverly but Xion superkicks Facade by mistake. Xion’s middle rope moonsault hits raised knees and Gory spikes Xion with a kneeling Tombstone. Facade takes Gory out by Beverly pins Xion at 8:04.

Rating: B-. And Xion losses again. Yeah it was to the champion, but they couldn’t make Xion feel less important if they were trying to with this set. This was your standard way to set up a multiman match and the action went well. Just come up with something better for Xion on the DVD ABOUT XION.

Then Xion signed with Impact Wrestling (as Zema Ion and later DJZ) and didn’t get to wrestle in the four way title match.

About eight minutes of trailers for other DVDs wrap us up.

Overall Rating: D+. What was that? There were 12 matches on here, Xion lost about half of them, and wasn’t even the focal point in more than a few of them. It was more a look at Xion’s feud with Facade than anything else and even then it didn’t feel like a special story. I’m not sure why this needed to exist as it’s basically a look at a short stretch of time for a midcarder in a middle of the road independent promotion.

On top of that, even the best matches were only decent at best. It didn’t make Xion look like a star and feels like nothing more than a cash-in on someone who became a bigger deal elsewhere. Pretty lame here, with one of the weakest DVD collections I’ve seen from just about anywhere.

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AND

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The Secret Of The Ooze
Date: August 14, 2004
Location: Hollywood Los Feliz JCC
Attendance: 160
Commentators: Excalibur, Disco Machine

It’s back to PWG and I don’t think you can ask for a cooler title than that. As usual I have no idea what to expect from this show, but this is just over a year into the company’s history. That could be hit or miss, though this is far before the days when PWG became such an indy darling. Let’s get to it.

We open with PWG World Champion Frankie Kazarian in the ring, bragging about beating Adam Pearce in a Loser Leaves PWG match. Pearce didn’t know his credentials, just like the other stupid fans (he used a different word and it started with an R) here. We hear about his title wins across different promotions but Kazarian stops to yell at a fan in the front row. As for tonight, he’s facing Colt Cabana, so we pause for a COLT COLT COLT chant. Kazarian is the future, and the future looks good.

Cue Cabana and he has a list of his own. He is a six time marshmallow eating champion, a three time Illinois state Hungry Hungry Hippos champion, and he can chug Tang faster than anyone around here. He’s also a former US, Intercontinental, ECW Mid-Atlantic Coast Champion and a three time 1-2-3 WWF Heavyweight Champion. Cabana tries to go into something about the present being today but gets a bit lost, only to say he’ll be champion. Simple hype for the main event here and it went well enough, with Kazarian sounding like a rather good smarmy heel.

Tag Team Gauntlet Match

Supa Badd and Human Tornado are in at #1 and Top Gun Talwar/Charles Mercury are in at #2 with Talwar grabbing a quickly broken headlock on Tornado. A dropkick staggers Tornado and everything breaks down with the fight heading out to the floor. Talwar gets a basketball bounced off his head, followed by a dunk and a hurricanrana from Tornado.

Back in and Badd atomic drops Talwar before Mercury is tossed outside again. Badd clotheslines Talwar and does pushups during the near fall for a bonus. As commentary says tags are encouraged rather than required, Mercury gets a Texas Cloverleaf on Badd and Talwar rolls Tornado up in the corner for the pin and elimination at 3:27.

Excalibur and Disco Machine are in at #3, with Excalibur (on commentary) credits Talwar’s drug use for losing a test of strength. With everyone else on the floor, Talwar goes up top and hits a huge flip dive to take everyone out. Mercury hits his own flip dive onto all three of them, followed by a legdrop for two on Excalibur back inside. Talwar’s clothesline gets the same and Mercury….really can’t quite manage to slam Talwar onto Excalibur.

Commentary blasts how bad things went as Talwar lands on Excalibur, who is right back up with a clothesline for a breather. It’s off to Disco as commentary makes fun of Chris Bosh and Rick Knox. An atomic drop hits Talwar and Mercury’s elbow drop for a save hits his partner by mistake. Everything breaks down and Excalibur Tombstones Talwar on the floor. That leaves Disco to chokebreaker Mercury for the elimination at 9:17 total.

Los Rojos Locos (a masked team) come in and deck Excalibur on the floor (Excalibur on commentary: “You can never trust a Mexican.”). That leaves Mercury to get beaten down inside, including #1 grabbing a Liontamer as we hear about Excalibur’s racist college entrance essay. A backbreaker gives #2 two on Mercury before #1 drops a middle rope elbow.

Mercury fights his way out of trouble and hits a double basement dropkick. Excalibur comes in to clean house as everything breaks down. #2 grabs Excalibur from the apron (Excalibur: “Patented dirty Mexican cheating.” HOW DOES HE HAVE A JOB???) but a charge misses. Excalibur and #1 wind up on their opponents’ respective shoulders and it’s time to play chicken.

With Disco down, Excalibur is dropped into an X Factor for little impact. Instead #1 is tied in the ropes, with #2 making a fast save. Disco gets caught in a Crossface/Boston crab combination with Excalibur making the save this time. Not that it matters as a half crab makes Disco tap at 16:25 total to give Los Rojos Locos the win.

Rating: C+. Well it was a gauntlet match and it went through three falls. That’s about all there is to say here, as the action was nothing great and Excalibur’s commentary was as worthless as usual. It opened the show well enough, but I can barely remember the other teams involved a few minutes after the match ended, which should tell you a lot about how well this went.

Here is Joey Ryan (reigning Tag Team Champion) to say Chris Bosh isn’t here so get him an opponent out here.

Joey Ryan vs. Quicksilver

Feeling out process to start with Quicksilver armdragging him down by the bad arm. Ryan is right back up with a dropkick into an armdrag into an armbar of his own. It’s so strange to see Ryan as a clean cut face but it’s quite the staple of early PWG. As commentary talks about Ryan enjoying the company of voluptuous young women, Quicksilver takes him down for a moonsault onto the arm.

The cranking continues as we hear about Ryan’s hand signals to an attendant to help him pick up women. The bad arm is sent into buckle but Ryan reverses out and sends him into the buckle as well. They head to the floor with Ryan hitting a big dive to take Quicksilver down again. Various jokes are made on commentary but they’re cut off by a phone call, leaving Excalibur to do solo commentary. Back up and they crash out to the floor again, followed by another arm crank from Quicksilver back inside.

We’ll make that a Fujiwara armbar until Ryan spinebusters his way to freedom. They’re both down so commentary talks about trail mix. Ryan is back up with a Tombstone shoulder breaker and we hit the Rings of Saturn on Quicksilver. That’s broken up as well so Ryan grabs a powerbomb for a rather delayed two. A piledriver doesn’t work though and Quicksilver hits him in the arm, setting up a rollup. That’s fine with Ryan, who reverses into one of his own for the pin at 13:14.

Rating: B-. As usual, your best move here is to ignore commentary and focus on what was an otherwise nice match. Quicksilver is someone who has been around for a lot of these PWG shows and tends to work well enough. Ryan can wrestle a good match as well, though he doesn’t exactly stand out nearly as much as he would with the sleazy stuff.

Post match Commissioner Paul T comes in to say Ryan and Scott Lost have not defended the Tag Team Titles in two months. Therefore, the titles will be held up and Ryan will face Lost. The winner gets the titles and can pick a new partner of his choosing.

Apollo Khan/Brandon Thomaselli vs. First Family

The Family would be Babi Slymm/Brad Bradley. Thomaselli kicks away at the rather large Bradley’s leg to start as commentary points out that Thomaselli has no connection to anyone in this match. A big chop rocks Thomaselli again and a running shoulder puts him down. Slymm and Khan come in, shake hands, and circle each other a bit. Slymm powers him down to start but Khan is right back with a hammerlock.

As commentary talks about whether or not they’re racist, Slymm grinds away on a headlock. Some dropkicks get Khan out of trouble and it’s back to Bradley, who runs into raised boots in the corner. Thomaselli’s high crossbody completely misses and Bradley grabs a heck of a German suplex. Slymm comes back in for a dancing elbow drop but Thomaselli slugs away on Bradley. A sunset flip doesn’t work as Bradley sits on Thomaselli’s chest, setting up an airplane spin of all things.

Slymm grabs the chinlock but Thomaselli is back up with a dropkick to the knee. Khan comes in and gets to clean house, leaving Thomaselli to hit an Asai moonsault on Bradley. Back up and Bradley is fine enough to low bridge Khan to the floor as the villains take over again. A belly to back neckbreaker drops Khan and a running knee in the corner gets two. Khan suplexes his way to freedom (with Excalibur crediting Khan’s people’s “strong legs and thighs”) and the tag brings in Thomaselli as everything breaks down. Thomaselli’s top rope hurricanrana is countered and a lariat finishes for Bradley at 14:21.

Rating: B-. Perfectly watchable match here but it doesn’t help when commentary is saying that there is no connection between some of the wrestlers. It was a cold match that worked well enough, but they weren’t really hiding the fact that that this was a thrown together match. Bradley looked good for a big man but the rest of the match was just kind of there, though it could have been a lot worse.

Puma vs. Josh Prohibition

They fight over a lockup as Excalibur actually gives us a backstory, talking about how this was originally supposed to be Prohibition vs. Super Dragon last month but things were changed because of a Japan tour (Excalibur: “When Japan calls, you must listen.”). It’s better than nothing. Puma works on a wristlock but Prohibition pulls him into a hammerlock.

The arm cranking continues until Puma reverses into a suplex for two. Excalibur talks about possibly recording the audio in the PWG locker room as Prohibition fights up and elbows him in the face for two. Commentary goes into his rapid fire calling of the match as Prohibition missile dropkicks Puma and puts on another armbar.

With the wrestling out of the way, Excalibur goes into a long story about Prohibition moving to Salt Lake City. Puma is back up with a Tombstone but a tornado DDT is countered into a double underhook arm crank. The Falcon Arrow and a brainbuster get two each on Puma but he German suplexes his way to freedom. A half crab makes Prohibition tap at 9:12.

Rating: B-. Good match here, as Prohibition is someone I’ve heard a lot about over the years but haven’t seen much of in the ring. Granted he didn’t exactly stand out, but I’ve seen far worse. At the same time, Puma is someone who was making appearances for Impact Wrestling around this time and was getting a bit of a name for himself before just dropping out of sight. Anyway, nice match, and it even included a reason for taking place.

PWG World Title: Frankie Kazarian vs. Colt Cabana

Kazarian is defending and doesn’t take kindly to some fans chanting various insults at him. They go with the technical off to start and grapple away on the mat until it’s a standoff. Cabana takes him down and Kazarian is already going for a break in the ropes. The fight goes outside with commentary ignoring everything to talk about Cabana, apparently much like Hollywood, being Jewish.

Back in and Cabana works on an armbar but Kazarian is right out with an elbow to take over. Kazarian sweeps the leg and hits a slingshot legdrop as we hear about Kazarian dropping water bombs on wildfires. Cabana fights up but plays some possum, allowing him to get two off a small package. Back up and Cabana tries the Wave Of The Future (Kazarian’s spinning Downward Spiral) but Kazarian breaks it up without much effort.

Cabana scores with a flying forearm (Tito Santana references abound) and Kazarian is sent outside. A dropkick through the ropes hits Kazarian but Cabana chops the post by mistake. Back in and Kazarian hits a Blockbuster for two but Cabana fights up again. That doesn’t last long this time though as Kazarian grabs the Wave Of The Future to retain at 13:10.

Rating: B. Commentary was ruining this (tends to be a tradition around here) but I’m digging Kazarian as this rather cocky heel. He’s feeling like someone who is ready to be a breakout star on the bigger stage and that’s kind of what he wound up doing. Cabana was being himself, but thankfully it was the more serious version, which did come out often enough in these bigger matches.

Post match the First Family comes in to stomp on Cabana and Cabana’s manager C. Edward Van Der Pyle mocks him, apparently siding with Kazarian. The bragging goes on for a long time until Cabana clears the ring with a chair.

CM Punk vs. Donovan Morgan

Before the match Morgan talks about something but Excalibur would rather talk about Steven Richards making Sunday Night Heat into Stevie Night Heat. Punk bails to the floor as Morgan keeps talking, only to be drowned out by Excalibur going on about someone’s sexual appetite. The referee brings a woman into the ring and Morgan kisses her, earning a tossed shoe.

With the woman gone, Morgan talks to Punk as Excalibur is STILL GOING ON about Richards. Excalibur says that Punk’s response is just meandering so we’ll talk about going to Whole Foods instead. The bell finally rings and they go into the corner, where Punk gets forearmed in the face. Punk: “That’s great, f*** you!” Morgan gets taken to the mat and keeps trying to sit out even after Punk has let him go. As interesting as that might be, Excalibur keeps talking about Richards instead. We pause for a bit as Morgan goes to the floor, only to come back in and get caught with a backbreaker. Punk starts in on the arm but Morgan snaps off a high collar suplex for a breather.

A figure four neck lock goes on for a bit, though it might be better if his legs were anywhere near Punk’s throat. Punk fights up and hits a DDT for a breather as they’re both down. Back up and they forearm it out until Punk grabs a crossface. That’s broken up just as fast and Morgan gets up for a middle rope DDT. A fisherman’s neckbreaker gets two on Punk but he’s right back with a backslide for the pin at 10:05.

Rating: B-. They were having a good match but commentary absolutely ruined almost everything they had going here. This was a great example of commentary putting every bit of the focus on themselves and while I get that’s kind of Excalibur’s thing, it doesn’t do any good for fans trying to watch the match. Incredibly annoying commentary aside, the match itself worked and I’ll take old school Punk more often than not.

Samoa Joe vs. Super Dragon

Hold on though as Dragon doesn’t like some late streamer throwing and goes outside to yell at the fans. Joe wrestles him down to start as we hear about Joe’s Ring Of Honor World Title reign. Back up and they strike it out with Joe firing off knees to the face. The big kick misses though and Dragon is out on the floor again. Back in and Dragon gets in a head fake, setting up a spinning kick to the head.

Joe isn’t having that and knocks him outside again, setting up the huge suicide elbow. Dragon is whipped into the chairs and Joe just unloads on him back inside. The kick to the chest sets up the knee drop for two as Dragon is in trouble. Some slaps to the mask have the fans booing Joe but Dragon comes out of the corner with a running enziguri. The sets up a corkscrew dive off the top to the floor, with Dragon’s boots hitting Joe and the rest of him hitting the floor/apron hard.

Back in and a tornado DDT gives Dragon another breather, leaving them both down. Joe is back up for the strikes in the corner and plants Dragon down hard. The powerbomb into the STF into the crossface has Dragon in more trouble, at least until a rope is grabbed. Joe sends him shoulder first into the post for the crash out to the floor, meaning it’s time to go after the arm back inside.

Dragon actually manages to hit a discus forearm to drop Joe but his arm is too banged up for a slingshot. The top rope spinwheel kick is knocked out of the air to give Joe two but the Island Driver is blocked. The Psycho Driver is countered as well so Dragon settles for a belly to back suplex instead.

Dragon hits a top rope knee to the head (ouch) for two, followed by a hard clothesline for the same. Joe snaps off the powerslam for two more and grabs a cross armbreaker. That doesn’t last either and it’s Dragon coming up with the chops in the corner. Joe backdrops him out to the floor, which is finally enough for the countout at 21:50.

Rating: B+. The more I think about it, the more I like that ending, as it wasn’t so much Joe winning as much as Dragon just couldn’t go any longer. It made both of them look like monsters and that is what they seemed to be trying to do here. Joe was on absolute fire at this point and could do no wrong, which probably explains the result. Heck of a match here and by far the best thing on the show.

Post match Excalibur and Disco Machine run out to check on Dragon to end the show.

We’ll also throw in the extras.

Los Rojos Locos do some rather high school level Spanish about how great and handsome they are. After speaking English to ask what the next word in Spanish is supposed to be, they ask why the Ballard Brothers aren’t being brought back (I bet you can get the joke).

Babi Slymm is ready to take over PWG with the help of his friends.

Colt Cabana is ready to go over the edge, though he does have to ask the director for his lines. For now, he’s off to England to craft his hone (that’s what he said). Now rewind the DVD and watch him over and over. With popcorn, Pop Tarts and smores!

Frankie Kazarian is ready to beat anyone ever from Chicago. Even Mike Ditka! He doesn’t care if Samoa Joe or Super Dragon is next.

The First Family brags about its high level of awesome. They’re great and the fans want them as their screensavers. Now they’re out because Van Der Pyle doesn’t feel like talking anymore.

Samoa Joe says the fans got what they asked for and he is the one who walked out. Now he wants the World Title.

Overall Rating: B. This show kept getting better as it went, but there were some things holding it back. By that I mean the commentary, which was an absolute nightmare all night long. Old PWG includes Excalibur ignoring the matches or long stretches of time and firing off all kinds of racist, sexist and homophobic jokes. It gets really tiring really fast and made me want to pull my headphones out so I could actually pay attention to the matches. Other than that, it’s another rather strong show, even if it was never going to live up to the name.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.

Pure Power Wrestling PowerSlamTV
Date: March 3, 2023
Location: Fritz Sick Centre, Lethbridge, Alberta, Canada
Commentators: Bulldog MacBain, Unknown

This is a Canadian independent that was recommended to me and I have no idea what to expect coming in. From what I can tell, this is an extended edition of their TV show featuring a Royal Rumble style match. These things can be all over the quality spectrum so we could be in for anything here. Let’s get to it.

As you might have gathered, I do not follow this promotion so I have no idea what is going on with storylines or characters. Please bear with me if I miss any details.

Opening sequence.

Power Rumble

This would be the Royal Rumble style match for the #1 contendership (not mentioned by commentary as I had to read it in the video’s description). Tyler Knox is in at #1 and apparently helped someone else win a match earlier (meaning this isn’t a full show, but it’s all they’re airing on Facebook) and Travis Copeland is in at #2.

Knox (seems heelish) dropkicks Copeland in the corner to start but gets armdragged a few times for his efforts. A dropkick into the ropes has Knox in trouble and a Blockbuster makes it even worse. Copeland drops a bunch of elbows and adds a suplex as Joshua Kirby (the man Knox helped win earlier) is in at #3 (intervals look to be about two minutes if you’re keeping track).

Kirby and Knox double team Copeland without much trouble as commentary hopes that the next entrant is one of Copeland’s friends (for you old school fans, you might remember this as the exact same way, even almost down the commentary, that the 1988 Royal Rumble started). Copeland’s comeback is cut off without much trouble until Crazy Tiger (he’s a rather beefy guy) is in at #4.

The sides are evened and the villains are rammed into each other, with Knox rolling outside (not eliminated). Tiger runs him over on the floor before taking him back inside. CJ King is in at #5 and gets rid of Tiger almost immediately. King, a newcomer that commentary doesn’t know much about, stomps on Kirby in the corner as things slow down a bit. Bryn Watts (he seems popular) is in at #6 and the pace picks right back up.

Watts goes right after Kirby but Knox makes the save. Knox and Kirby start cleaning house again but don’t get rid of anyone. Sydney Steele, who faced Watts earlier in the night, is in at #7 so they go right at it again. That doesn’t last long and everyone pairs off as the pace slows back down (as it tends to do in a Rumble). A lot of stomping in the corner ensues until Wes Barker (also a newcomer) is in at #8.

Barker kicks King down and spinebusters Kirby onto him for a crash. The brawling continues as there just isn’t much going on right now. Dewey Robson is in at #9 (to Hearts On Fire from Rocky IV, making him awesome by definition) and hits a pair of 403’s (619’s) to Steele and Knox. With no one else being eliminated, or really coming close to being so, Kyle Sebastian (the PPW Heavyweight Champion, who shouldn’t be in a #1 contenders match) is in at #10.

Barker is finally put out, with commentary praising what seems to be his debut. Sebastian fires off some LOUD chops as Steele superkicks King out to clear the ring a bit more. Tyson Hiller is in at #11 and hits a Blue Thunder Bomb on Knox. Believe it or not, we settle down to more mindless brawling against the ropes with the occasional chop to break up the monotony.

Jude Dawkins (the Cheetahbear) is in at #12 and commentary seems to think he’s a big deal. An inverted Cannonball hits Knox in the corner and Dawkins drives him into Steele in the corner. Hiller is tossed out and Dawkins gets to wreck some more people (without eliminating them) until Bradley Graham is in at #13. Graham beats up Knox and Kirby as well (popular idea so far) and we get a lot more chopping. Scorpious (another newcomer) is in at #14 and almost everyone stops to look at him.

Graham and Scorpious have a shoulder off, with Graham running him over. Graham’s Bronco Buster crushes Kirby and Knox in the corner as things slow down again. Shaun Martens is in at #15 (apparently making a return) as there are WAY too many people in there. More brawling against the ropes without anything resembling urgency for an elimination.

Steele is tossed by Watts, who is pulled to the floor for a piledriver. Since this isn’t AEW, that actually matters and Watts has to be helped to the back. Someone gets tossed out but since the referee doesn’t see it, he rolls right back inside. Scorpious manages to stay alive as Vance Nevada (Mr. Beefy Goodness) is in at #16. Nevada beats up Martens before Graham gets to do the same in the corner, only to have Martens toss him out. Alex Nakache is in at #17 and comes in to chop away (this place LOVES chops).

Kirby and Martens get in a fight to little avail as Nevada tries to get Kirby out instead. Nakache gets rid of Scorpious and it’s Deven Devlin (Cruiserweight Champion) in at #18. A Backstabber hits Robson and a second makes it worse but Sebastian tries to toss Devlin. Knox cuts Sebastian off though and hits him with a chain, setting up a clothesline for the elimination.

The Rogue is in at #19 and the people start to pair off and it’s Cam Hanson (Tag Team Champion with….someone) in at #20. Nakache is out but Kirby manages to hang on as Michael May is in at #21 to complete the field. That gives us a final grouping of Knox, Copeland, Kirby, Robson, Martens, Nevada, Devlin, Rogue, Hanson and May (apparently Dawkins was tossed without mention). Hanson and May, the two tallest left, slug it out with May sending him flying off a pumphandle slam.

Knox saves Kirby and gets rid of Nevada, who pulls Kirby out from the floor for an elimination and fights him into the crowd. Martens is out as well and Devlin knocks Hanson out by mistake. May eliminates Rogue and Hanson saves Devlin (apparently his friend/partner).

Not that it matters as a Codebreaker gets rid of Devlin and we’re down to May, Knox, Robson and Copeland. May can’t chop Copeland out as Copeland is back in with a missile dropkick. Knox is back up to toss Copeland though and we’re down to three. Robson neckbreakers Knox, who is right back with a cutter to get rid of Robson…and then May dumps Knox for the win at 54:49.

Rating: C+. This wasn’t the best, but it certainly could have been worse. They did have an idea with the new #1 contender being someone who beat the champ earlier in the night, so there was certainly a logic to the result. There was also enough good action to keep my interest and having it be a one match show helped a bit.

Now that being said, the biggest problem here is the same thing I harped on throughout: there are far too many stretches of people standing around as we wait for something to happen. Add in a bunch of people who didn’t really stand out and the ring being way too full more than once and this was running with more than one anchor.

Kyle Sebastian (who May apparently pinned in a six man tag earlier tonight) comes out for the staredown to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. It’s a one match show with only a thirty second staredown at the end and an opening video otherwise. The show does feel like an independent promotion in a lot of ways, but there are far worse examples out there. A Royal Rumble isn’t the best way to showcase the talent, but it did give me a bit of an idea of the flavor of the place. Not a bad show, but a regular card might have been a better option.

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Bluegrass Brawl 1993
Date: April 2, 1993
Location: College Gym, Pikeville, Kentucky
Attendance: 1,778
Commentators: Les Thatcher, Lance Russell

This is from Smoky Mountain Wrestling, a promotion that I have barely ever looked at for some reason. It’s another request and in this case we have quite the big main event, with a triple threat (before that term was a thing) nine man tag, plus a chain match for the Heavyweight Title. Let’s get to it.

We open with My Old Kentucky Home (Kentucky’s rather lame state song).

Les Thatcher and Lance Russell run down the card and talk about how great this show can be.

There appears to be a Robbie Eagle vs. Rip Rogers match missing here.

Rob Morgan vs. Mongolian Stomper

Morgan jumps him to start and they’re on the floor fast. Stomper posts him hard and stomps away back inside, setting up a big boot. A cobra clutch finishes Morgan at 1:22. Bret Hart called Stomper (who never took his jacket off here) the best Canadian wrestler ever and he looked rather dominant here so maybe Bret is on to something.

Brain Lee is ready to beat Kevin Sullivan in whatever kind of match they have.

Here is Lee to find out what kind of match he and Sullivan will be having, by way of a roll of a dice. The dice is a six, meaning Lee gets to pick. That would be….a Singapore Spike match!

Tim Horner is ready to take care of the Nightstalker and then he’ll have Lee’s back later.

Nightstalker vs. Tim Horner

Nightstalker is better known as Adam Bomb/Wrath and he shoves Horner around to start. Horner punches his way out of the corner and the fans certainly like that. Horner’s shoulder bounces off of him though and Nightstalker starts working on the arm. With that broken up, Horner dropkicks him to the floor but gets sent hard into the corner back inside.

A sideslam sets up one heck of a slingshot clothesline for two on Horner and we hit the bearhug. Two arm drops trigger the comeback but Nightstalker’s clothesline trigger another near fall. Horner fights out of the chinlock but Nightstalker sends him into corner to keep up the beating.

The comeback is on anyway though and a snap suplex gives Horner two. The sleeper doesn’t work for Horner so he tries it again, only to have it broken up again. A powerslam sets up a missed elbow for Nightstalker and we hit the third sleeper. This time Nightstalker throws him over over the top to escape and that’s a DQ at 13:13.

Rating: C+. I’ve always been a fan of Nightstalker as he’s one of those guys can get by on pure power and appearance alone. Horner on the other hand is a rather generic good guy and it’s not much of a surprise that he never went too far. The ending didn’t help things here either, as it felt like a way to set up a rematch. They were going well until then, but there is only so much that can be done with a fairly weak finish.

Kevin Sullivan is happy to face Brian Lee in a Singapore Spike match. He hasn’t had this much fun since he went to Norway and clubbed baby seals!

Kevin Sullivan vs. Brian Lee

This is a Singapore Spike (there is a box in every corner, with the spike inside one of them) match and Nightstalker/Brian Horner are the seconds, though they are handcuffed in corners. Lee unloads with right hands to start and they’re already on the floor, with Sullivan getting in a posting.

A chair shot just wakes Lee up a bit and they head inside, where Lee charges into a raised boot. They head back to the floor with Sullivan hitting him with a sandbag but there’s nothing in the first box. Lee gets in a shot of his own but there’s nothing in the second box either. Sullivan takes him to the floor again and hits him with the ring bell hammer.

Back in and Sullivan uses some pliers to keep Lee down but the third box is empty as well. The fourth box is opened but Sullivan doesn’t pull anything out for some reason. Lee fights back and the referee goes down, allowing Nightstalker to get to the apron (still hooked) to try and bring in the spike (which he seemed to pull out of the box). For some reason Nightstalker hesitates to hand it over though and Lee uses the distraction to grab a rollup for the pin at 7:08.

Rating: C. It was a decent enough brawl but at the end of the day, the boxes and the spike didn’t even matter as Nightstalker got the spike and never even used the thing. Lee vs. Sullivan seems like a big feud, but this wasn’t the best execution of what seemed to be a big time match. It had the energy, though that’s about all.

Post match Sullivan goes after the still handcuffed Nightstalker with a chair but the cuffs come off, meaning Sullivan has to run off.

Tracy Smothers is ready for the Dirty White Boy. The White Boy has cost him the TV Title and $5,000 but then he burned the rebel flag that Smothers gave to him.

Ron Wright (Tennessee wrestling legend in a wheelchair) has handed down his beloved Tennessee chain to the Dirty White Boy and promises violence.

Dirty White Boy is in Central Park (allegedly) and whips out a gun to deal with off screen muggers. He has a bunch of sugar for Smothers (ok then) and a beer, which Smothers has already had. Finally, he has a bunch of dirt, which the people of Tennessee have under their fingernails. He uses the whip to break the sugar and assorted fruits and promises violence.

Smoky Mountain Title: Tracy Smothers vs. Dirty White Boy

The White Boy is defending in a Tennessee Chain match, meaning they’re tied together and it’s touch all four corners rules (with “an offensive blow” being enough to reset the count). They fight over pulling on the chain to start until White Boy pulls him into a clothesline. Smothers isn’t having that and pulls him down with the chain before hammering away. They go to the floor so Smothers can twirl a rebel flag, followed by some rams into the buckle back inside.

That’s good for three buckles but White Boy breaks it up, earning himself another beating. White Boy comes up and slugs away, only to get dropped with a single right hand. They head outside for some choking, followed by some rams into the buckle back inside. Smothers grabs the mic and calls him a “stupid Yankee” before going back to the right hands to the head.

There are three buckles but White Boy punches him a few times to break it up. White Boy pulls the chain for a crotching on top and head outside, where the bloody Smothers gets choked a bit. Back in and the chain is wrapped around the cut before a clothesline lets White Boy get three buckles. Smothers breaks that run up but the chain goes around his head to slow him down again.

White Boy gets smart by wrapping the chain around Smothers’ feet and dragging him around. A monkey flip gets Smothers out of trouble but the blood has left him blinded. He can still punch away without being able to see but an atomic drop cuts him off again. Smothers breaks him up at three again so White Boy chokes him down again, giving us two arm drops. Back up and White Boy kicks him low to cut off another comeback attempt. A clothesline with the chain drops Smothers again but White Boy goes up and gets pulled back down.

They head to the floor again where White Boy is busted open, setting up a top rope chain shot to the head. Smothers grabs a fireman’s carry for three buckles, as Wright trips him down for the save. White Boy starts choking and dragging him around the ring, with both of them hitting the buckles at the same time. With just the last one to go, Smothers fights back and lets White Boy flip him over with the chain, meaning Smothers gets the fourth buckle and the title at 25:58.

Rating: B+. These guys beat the fire out of each other and it felt like an old school southern fight. What matters here is Smothers gets the title and his revenge, but at the same time it was a bloody battle, which is what the fans wanted to see. This felt like they were trying to play towards each others strengths and it worked very well. Heck of a fight here and the best thing on the show so far by a mile.

Post match Smothers is in the back and talks about how this is the greatest night of his career. White Boy jumps him though and even spits on him.

We recap the three way nine man tag.

The Stud Stable (Ron Fuller/Jimmy Golden, better known as Colonel Parker and Buckhouse Buck in WCW) and Dutch Mantel are ready to take everyone out, with Mantel promising a bunch of whippings.

The Rock N Roll Express and Arn Anderson (what a team) is ready for the fight, with Anderson talking about how you might know it’s bad, but you don’t know just HOW bad it is. Ricky Morton says it’s time to learn just how good they are.

The Heavenly Bodies (Stan Lane/Tom Prichard) and Bobby Eaton with Jim Cornette are ready as well, with Cornette talking about how many firsts you’ll be seeing here. Everyone else is going out on stretchers when they win the first ever nine man street fight.

Heavenly Bodies/Bobby Eaton vs. Rock N Roll Express/Arn Anderson vs. Stud Stable/Dutch Mantel

Three way elimination (anyone gets pinned/gives up, their team is gone) street fight. The big brawl is on to start and this is going to be a nightmare to follow. Some of them go outside and the weapons are already brought in as this is already quite the melee. Eaton and Morton fight to the back but come back with a tire wrapped around his head.

Gibson whips various people with a belt and Prichard is already busted open. Morton gets a trashcan to clean house as the wild brawling continues. Gibson and Eaton fight off this time so Cornette comes in, only to get choked down. Gibson comes back and fights over a chair with Fuller until Morton gets in a chair shot to the head. That’s enough to pin Fuller and eliminate the Stud Stable/Mantel at 9:12.

Thankfully that clears the ring a bit but Fuller goes after Gibson (now with a bad ankle/leg) anyway. A Rocket Launcher gets two on Morton but Arn is up with a fire extinguisher (Cornette loved that spot). The three DDTs take out the villains and it’s time for a table, with all of them being whipped into it in the corner. Cornette is sent into it for a bonus and Gibson puts the Figure Four on Cornette as well. Prichard comes off the top with a loaded boot though and Gibson is done at 13:16.

Rating: B. This is the kind of match where you’re not supposed to be able to keep track of what is going on. It’s designed to be all about the mayhem and that was the case here, with nine people out there to go as nuts as they can until someone gets a fall. Cornette took a beating as well and it helped a lot, but this was just a bunch of fun with stars and names you might not see around here very often. Either way, heck of a way to close, but the details aren’t what mattered here, because it was all about the calamity.

In the back, Jim Cornette talks about how they’re the best team around here and he guarantees that will be the case for a long time.

The announcers wrap it up.

Credits, with a highlight package, take us out.

Overall Rating: B. The last two matches here are all that mattered and it wound up being rather good as a result. The first match was a squash, the second was a step away from being good and the third was an idea that didn’t quite come together. This show flew by and felt like a big time TV show at various points. The last two matches carried the show though and that chain match has the emotion to make it work. It’s not exactly must see, but I can absolutely see the audience for this kind of thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

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Russell Crowe Wrestling: RussellMania 3
Date: March 30, 2023
Location: Burbank Moose Lodge, Burbank, California
Commentators: Erik Barnes, Rivers Langley

So this is Wrestling Pro Wrestling, a comedy promotion run by Brian Kendrick. The event was held over Wrestlemania weekend and then released on Youtube, though I have a grand total of no idea what to expect here. With wrestlers named Poptart Boy and Leather Daddy, I’m almost scared to know what I’m getting myself into. Let’s get to it.

Opening video, which features a bunch of stills and has quite the early 80s feeling.

Erik Barnes welcomes us to the show and makes it clear that Russell Crowe will NOT be wrestling and describes this as a wacky wrestling promotion. The Midcard Title (which sounds like the official name) and the Wrestle Turkey Title will be on the line tonight, but first, here is Cereal Man (a superhero with a box of cereal for a mask). He can’t find promoter Gary Tickles, who has left a note: “see you next show suckers, no refunds.”

There is an idea though, so here is Darwin Finch, apparently a scientist, who has invented a cloning machine. His goons have stolen some celebrity DNA, so here are clones of Tom Cruise, Gary Busey and Sean (normally spelled Shaun) White. Cereal Man says these clones suck, but apparently they are clones of celebrity impersonators on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (ah, the common problem). We’ll try one more so here is Chuck Norris….as portrayed by Jimmy Wang Yang. That’s enough for Cereal Man, who throws everyone out. Cereal Man: “You guys want to see a chicken wrestle a bear?”

Chick-A-Dee vs. Evgheni

Dee is a woman in a chicken costume (Commentary: “This pollo is loco!” Should be loca but whatever.) and Evgheni is a Russian bear. The Bear hibernates to start so Chick pokes him, only for the Bear to go back to sleep. Back up and a bear claw shove gets two on Chick but the referee faints after a well places growl. The Bear bites Chick’s face and then….decides to go to the bar, meaning it’s a countout at 4:09.

Rating: C. Yeah we’re going to be in for a weird show here and it should be a lot of fun as a result. I’m not sure I got the joke here but at least they are living up to the kind of show that they want to be. Also, thankfully they kept this short instead of driving the joke into the ground like so many would.

Anthony Andrews vs. Koto Hiro

Andrews is a cowboy and one half of the NWA US Tag Team Champions. Hiro on the other hand is your stereotypical Japanese masked man. They go for the grappling to start with the much smaller Hiro not being able to get very far. Hiro kicking him in the head works better though and a rolling cutter gets two.

Andrews knocks him outside and hammers away on the floor. Back in and Hiro snapmares him down into a jumping knee to the face but Andrews plants him with a Rock Bottom. A middle rope Codebreaker gets two but Hiro is back with a springboard spinning Codebreaker. That sets up a missed frog splash though and Andrews grabs a pumphandle powerslam for the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. Actually not too bad here, which mainly focused on a power vs. speed match. Andrews isn’t a hue guy but he’s big enough to outmatch someone like Hiro. Other than that, Hiro kept things moving enough and sold the big power stuff well enough. Not a great match, but it was close enough to being serious to make it work.

Respect is shown post match.

Fourmage Horsemen vs. Stoner Brothers/El Chupacabra/Anton Voorhees

Oh boy. This is WPW vs. Hoodslam, because that’s a good idea. So the Horsemen are Gorgonzole Anderson/Parm Anderson/Ricotta Flair/Tully Blancheddar, while the Stoners are Rick Scott and Scott Rick (not typos), complete with a STONERIZED theme. And yes, the Horsemen all have heads made of cheese. Before the match, Flair makes fun of the other four, including saying the Stoners are more like the Groaner Mothers. Anton and Tully start things off, with Tully going rather basic (“This is an aged cheddar after all.”) but Anton comes back with an enziguri.

Tully gets quadruple teamed in the corner so it’s off to Parm vs. Chupacabra, with the former being knocked into the corner. Rick Scott adds a superkick but Gorgonzole comes in for a wristlock. A series of shots in the corner put Gorgonzole down but he gets over to Flair for the rapid fire chops. Not that they matter as Flair is knocked down and picked up/dropped back by all four for a quadruple pin at 5:05.

Rating: C. Yeah I laughed and that’s the point of something like this. It’s a big choke with cheese puns and I don’t think they were trying to do anything else. Let them get in there, do their jokes and get out before it goes too long. If nothing else, points for being able to come up with a gag for the entire Horsemen, including that aged cheddar line.

A clone of David Copperfield (magician, not Dickens) and here is brings a fan into the ring for a card trick. Before he can complete it though, the Great Branzino, with his Goblins (Dingleberry and Grundell) interrupts. Branzino is about three and a half feet tall and says we’re not here for magic or over the top characters. No one wants to see that fool Luigi Primo! Cue Primo (the guy who can spin a pizza while doing really basic moves), with Branzino saying it’s an amazing coincidence that Primo is here. Since he is here though, the Goblins should get him!

Luigi Primo vs. Goblins/Great Branzino

They fight over wrist control, with Primo using the pizza to mistake. Primo hits them with the pizza, so Branzino tells the Goblins to form the TROLL TRON. As Grundell gets on Dingleberry’s shoulders, Copperfield gives Primo a second pizza, which he combines with the first to scare the Goblins away. Branzino hits Primo low for the DQ at 2:31.

Post match Branzino pulls out some pepperoni pizza flavored Combos but Primo chokeslams him onto them instead….for a pin, despite the bell ringing off the low blow. These pizza and magic themed characters should be better with their continuity.

Kid Isaac/Sam Squatch vs. Devastator 2/Devastatress

Devastator is billed from Hot Topic. Devastatress is a mystery partner, who is better known as Jazzy Yang (Jimmy Wang Yang’s daughter). Squatch is in a rather large Bigfoot costume and seems rather interested in the Combos. Isaac hands his sunglasses to Squatch to start and they are promptly destroyed. Devastator tries a test of strength and gets a tickle from Isaac and it works so well that they do it again. Isaac offers to let Devastator tickle him but gets kicked in the ribs instead.

Back up and Isaac runs the corner, walks the rope, and jumps back down for some more tickling. Squatch comes in to run Devastator over and a double shoulder gives Isaac two. Devastatress gets in a cheap shot from behind as commentary continues to call every move either the Devastator or the Devastat-Her. The chinlock goes on for a bit before Devastatress goes after the knee.

Isaac enziguris his way to freedom and hands it back to Squatch to slow things down. A Rocket Launcher hits Devastator for two but Devastatress isn’t tickleish. Instead Isaac forearms her in the face to little avail, as she drops him fast. A low blow to Squatch sets up a chokeslam, followed by a 3D to finish Isaac at 11:08.

Rating: C-. Once you got past the joke of every move being called the Devastator/Devastate-Her, there wasn’t much to see here. Isaac wasn’t overly funny and a guy in a Bigfoot costume is only going to get you so far. I wasn’t feeling this one, but when your entire show is a bunch of jokes, some things aren’t going to land.

And now we have the “Sexy Chino Hollywood Adjacent Dance Party”. We have Sexy Chino, the Clone of John Travolta, Emo Tep (the emo mummy), Boogaloo Brown, Haystacks (a large stack of hay wearing overalls), and David Boomerang (a giant mouse). They all dance until Boomerang….starts stabbing people. Boomerang is awarded the win “by way of stabbing” and apparently this is a pattern for him.

Tag Team Titles: Darwin Finch/Fidel Bravo vs. Fabio/LJ Cleary

Finch and Bravo (with El Cucho El Sicario) are defending. Finch and Fabio start things off as commentary stops to argue with Cleary over not being able to tell the challengers apart. Fabio hits a dropkick to start so it’s off to Cleary, who gets caught with a springboard armdrag. Bravo comes in and yells at Finch, allowing the challengers to take over and dance a bit.

The double teaming has Bravo in trouble and Fabio snaps off a suplex for two. Finch gets in a slap from the apron though and Bravo scores with a DDT. Everything breaks down and Finch and Bravo take over, with Bravo actually hugging him. Then Sicario hits Finch low, allowing Bravo to hit Finch with a Falcon Arrow so Cleary can get the pin and the titles at 7:12.

Rating: C. This wasn’t so much a joke as much as something with an actual storyline, which worked well enough. What mattered was getting the title change out there to make the show feel important and not doing a bunch of jokes for once. It makes something like this feel like it mattered, though things were hardly serious, as you should kind of expect around here.

Post match Officer Robot Cop (exactly what it sounds like) comes out to say the new champs broke the law so the titles are officially stripped. Finch and Bravo are still champions.

Midcard Title: Battle Royal

King Dezi, Jumping Jim Logan, Tarzan Duran, Man Like DeReiss, Hobo, Mike D., Charles Ray

Yes it’s called the Midcard Title and this is billed as a “several person battle royal”. Tarzan is Tarzan, Dezi is an actual king, DeReiss raps himself to the ring, Mike is rather muscular and Ray (a Ray Charles knockoff, complete with blindness and a yellow suit) is defending. Logan yells at everyone else to start and says he is NOT jumping, despite that being his name. He finally jumps once and a bunch of people knock him silly, allowing Ray to get the pin for the elimination.

Ray sings as everyone else fights to the floor (this is feeling a lot more like an elimination match than the battle royal they advertised) before heading outside to sing about how everyone in the ring is fighting and shooting. Mike bearhugs Hobo before Tarzan comes in to work on Hobo’s arm. Hobo hits a running corner clothesline but gets taken down by a flipping neckbreaker.

The singing is still going on as DeReiss stomps on Dezi in the corner. Hobo and DeReiss trade standing switches as Tarzan listens to Ray singing. After Hobo misses a kick, DeReiss…..sprays him with air freshener for the pin. With that odd choice out of the way (Ray, still singing: “Positive sounds, that’s what I heard, hope it was good.”), Tarzan comes back in and kicks Mike outside. A springboard flip dive takes Mike down and a Code Red gets two back inside.

Mike pops back up with a powerbomb and a helicopter bomb finishes Tarzan. Ray, with his trombone, comes in and hits some people by mistake, allowing Dezi to pin Mike. We’re down to Ray, Dezi and DeReiss and the singing continues, with commentary talking about how long this song has been doing. Ray is now singing about how he has a goat and 58 farms so DeReiss goes after him, only to get sceptered down by Dezi for the pin. Ray thinks the scepter is the microphone and accidentally knocks Dezi out before covering him to retain at 14:45.

Rating: B-. Ray sang that song for over fifteen minutes and while it was just bizarre freestyling by the end, it went on for so long that it was hilarious. This whole thing was a bunch of people getting in a little bit of time while Charles did his thing and it worked far better than it should have. This was one of the better jokes on the show and that is covering a lot of ground.

Sneaky Snakes vs. Leather Daddy/Rubber Baby

The Snakes would be the Sassy Assassin/Sneaky Pete and are in striped shirts and masks, making them look like very stereotypical prisoners/bank robbers. They also have Sacre Blue with them, while Daddy and Baby have very large rubber fast masks. The Snakes jump them from behind to start as Blue seems to be fighting in this as well. Baby gets double teamed to start but Daddy makes the save with a double noggin knocker. Back up and Pete knocks the Baby’s head off, revealing a red mask.

Baby gets to clean house but super fan Courtney Glove comes in to try and calm him down….which earns her a trip to the floor. Assassin hugs Baby but gives him an atomic drop, resulting in a diaper issue (just go with it). Baby chases the villains around with a diaper and rubs it in Blue’s face…which apparently allows Blue to talk without a lisp. Blue: “I CAN FINALLY BE A VOICE ACTOR!” He’s so happy that he falls down and Baby falls down on him for the pin at 5:04.

Rating: D+. So that happened. I’m not sure I get the joke here but the Snakes were at least unique in a good way…I think. This feels like something where I might need to know these people a bit more to care and this wasn’t exactly the most brilliant comedy. Much more of a skit than a match here and not in a good way.

Post match another shot to the face brings the lisp right back.

Eli Everfly vs. Gregory Shmegory Sharpe vs. Mizuki Watase

Sharpe is a high flier (as in a pilot) and Watase is from DDT Pro in Japan. Actually hang on as we have a fourth entrant.

Eli Everfly vs. Gregory Shmegory Sharpe vs. Mizuki Watase vs. Watts

Watts, a rather skinny guy, is described as a powerhouse. Watase and Watts form an early alliance which is broken up in all of three seconds. With the other three on the floor, Watase hits a big dive and strips down to his gear. Back in and Watase hits a basement dropkick on Sharpe, who is right back with a Rock Bottom. Everfly comes back in with a springboard wristdrag but Watts is back in to fall away slam all three of them. A double chokeslam puts Sharpe and Watase down but Everfly gets the sleeper.

That’s enough to bring Watts down to his knees and a triple kick to the head puts him down. Watase takes Everfly down but Sharpe knees him in the face to leave all four down. A chokebomb gets two on Sharpe with Everfly making the save. Everfly hits a heck of a tornado DDT to send Watts outside, where a top rope hurricanrana takes him down instead. Back in and Watase brainbusters Sharpe for two, followed by a scoop piledriver (starts as a slam, ends as a Tombstone) for the pin on Sharpe at 7:54.

Rating: C+. Other than the pilot thing for Sharpe, this was a pretty straight match without anything very unique or even comedy stuff. That being said, it was rather nice to have a different kind of match after doing so much of the same kind of material (even in different forms) all night long. Not a great match or anything, but a nice pallet cleanser, which you need at times.

Wrestling Pro Wrestling Wrestle Turkeys Title: Poptart Boy vs. Dark Sheik

Poptart Boy (he’s a walking Poptart and teams with Cereal Man as the Breakfast Of Champions) is defending (the title is huge and looks to be homemade) while Sheik is a mermaid (so she has to hop to the ring). A lockup puts Poptart Boy against the ropes and Sheik (still hopping, because she has a single fin instead of legs) flips him off.

Poptart Boy shoulders her down and hammers away in the corner. Sheik hammers away (Commentary: “Shot to the frosting.”) and it’s a Fish One Nine before Sheik starts eating his filling (exactly what it sounds like). Poptart Boy is fine enough to hit a chokeslam and a falling splash (frosting side down) retains the title at 4:19.

Rating: C. I’m sitting here trying to think of what to say about this and….yeah what am I supposed to say? It’s a humanoid Poptart fighting a woman whose legs are tied together to make her a mermaid while commentary uses lines from Under The Sea. This was every idea you could think of from the outer reaches of an intoxicated mind and yeah, it was kind of great.

Russel Crowe Pro Rumble

Cinderella Man, Robin Hood, 3:10 To Yuma, Gladiator, Master And Commander, Master And Commander 2, Another Gladiator, Another Gladiator, Black Gladiator, Beautiful Mind, King Ghiraffedorah

Darwin Finch is on commentary and each one is a character from a Russell Crowe movie (plus some repeats because, as commentary put it, they were running out of ideas). The bell rings and hang on as here is Ghiraffedorah (a three headed giraffe, due to reasons of just go with it) to get in the ring. Everyone backs away from him but it’s a bunch of headbutts and chokes (with the arms being other giraffe heads). Then he spits something out and it’s…..the ace of clubs, the card from the fan with the card trick about an hour and a half ago! The fan comes in and gets attacked as well so we’ll throw it out at 2:33.

Finch: “I really hope I won’t be held responsible for this.” Ghiraffedorah attacks some fans to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I liked it. This show didn’t try to be anything that it wasn’t and completely embraced the insanity. It was one idea likely created by Brian Kendrick and his friends under the influence of various substances and as a result it was rather fun in a lot of ways. This wasn’t about wrestling but rather having a lot of fun with wrestling going on. It’s nothing I would want to see full time or anywhere close to it, but for a one off, there is some great stuff in here. Not all of the jokes work, but or a weird trip inside the mind of wrestling fans, this was a great time.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and head over to my Amazon author page with 30 different cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

AND

Remember to check out Wrestlingrumors.net for all of your wrestling headline needs.