Lucha Underground
Date: October 26, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

The countdown to Aztec Warfare is on and that means things are about to pick up around here. The problem with this season so far has been the lack of any meaningful story but the entire roster contending for the title in one match should get us somewhere. If nothing else it would be nice to see something other than one random challenger a week. Let’s get to it.

This week’s opening recap looks at Texano vs. Cage, Johnny Mundo getting a Gift of the Gods Title shot and Ivelisse’s boyfriend Jeremiah. These things are a great refresher and a solid preview of things to come tonight.

Sexy Star comes into Dario Cueto’s office and demands her Lucha Underground Title shot next week. Dario admires her huevos but says she has to defend the Gift of the Gods Title against Johnny Mundo tonight. If Aerostar, Fenix or Drago interfere, they’re banned from the Temple forever.

Marty Martinez vs. Ivelisse

Marty smiles as Ivelisse forearms him in the face and a middle rope crossbody is turned into a powerslam. As the beating goes on, Vampiro says Marty weighs 300lbs. I know wrestling weights are gimmicked but that sounds insane. Mariposa gets in a few bites (thereby freaking Melissa Santos out) and Marty elbows Ivelisse in the face. A few strikes stagger Marty but Ivelisse’s guillotine choke actually brings him down. Well at least a little down until he knocks her silly with a spinebuster. A full nelson slam puts Ivelisse away at 4:20.

Rating: D+. Lucha Underground is normally pretty good with their intergender matches but in this case it was Marty destroying one of the best women in the promotion. Ivelisse never had a chance here and Marty, who isn’t much of a star in his own right, basically squashed her. What happened here?

Post match Jeremiah comes in and cleans house until it turns into a brawl, likely setting up a tag match. Jeremiah seems to apologize to Ivelisse for interfering but she’s not pleased.

The Rabbit Tribe, including Paul London, is coming soon.

Jeremiah is still apologizing and suggests he join the Temple. The idea of them fighting together seems to appeal to Ivelisse.

And now, let’s make things interesting. We go to the inside of Councilman Delgado’s limo when Dario gets in. Dario says someone’s ascension is complete (they might be talking about their boss but it’s not clear) and Delgado talks about needing a host body. It seems that the series between Texano and Cage will be for the right to be the host so Delgado hands Dario a box…..which I assume contains a soul? Now THIS is Lucha Underground!

Texano vs. Cage

This is match #3 in a best of five series with Cage up 2-0. Texano goes right after him (because he’s desperate) and a clothesline sends Cage outside. A whip into the eternally empty wooden chairs makes things even worse for Cage so he throws Texano right back. Texano pops back up as well and sunset bombs Cage over the top and back onto the floor.

Back in and the no selling continues with Cage throwing him down in a fall away slam. A top rope superplex puts both guys down in a heap and Cage is the first to cover for two. Cage’s pumphandle faceplant gets the same so Texano hits a middle rope leg lariat for his own near fall. This is a bunch of trading spots and that’s all it should be. A buckle bomb sets up an F5 on Texano and the kickout frustrates Cage even more. With Cage at his wits’ end, Texano grabs a small package for the pin at 7:45.

Rating: C+. I’m a big fan of that ending as they were beating the heck out of each other until one guy puts the brakes on and goes in a completely opposite direction for the pin. It’s good psychology and works almost every time. I’m sure we’ll see these two fight again but it’s nice to keep them from fighting on every single show. In other words, this isn’t Cesaro vs. Sheamus.

Dario is looking in the box (What could that possibly look like?) when Rey Mysterio comes in. Rey wants to face Chavo Guerrero in a Loser Leaves the Temple match. Dario agrees and says you have to put a dog down for its own good. Now anyone other than a wrestling face would see that something is up with a statement like that but Rey is cursed with being an idiot.

Gift of the Gods Title: Johnny Mundo vs. Sexy Star

Star is defending. It’s a change of pace this time as Star tries to stay away to start, only to get taken down into an amateur wrestling contest. This goes badly for the champ and Johnny kicking at the legs make it even worse. A botched looking neckbreaker puts Sexy down again and a running knee to the face gets two.

Johnny goes Backlund with a crossface chickenwing before putting Star on the top rope and elbowing her in the face. You don’t see that very often but it’s happened twice on this one show. Johnny tries a moonsault but lands on raised feet to FINALLY (ok they’re four minutes into the match) give Star an opening. Star goes with some weak looking right hands to the face and a failed monkey flip because YOU CAN’T MONKEY FLIP JOHNNY MUNDO! Yeah doesn’t have quite the same ring.

Mundo spears the referee by mistake and of course Star chokes Johnny out a few seconds later. Cue the Worldwide Underground to lift Star up so Johnny can charge at her, sending her flipping over and down to the mat (Chikara’s BDK used it as their finisher, Ragnarok). Another referee comes in as the Underground leaves (So he was watching the match to see the ref bump but not the interference?) to count two, meaning Johnny knocks him out too.

The Underground wraps a chair around Star’s neck but before they can Pillmanize her, it’s the Mack running in with a bunch of Stunners. Star chairs Mundo in the head for two and I can hear Vince Russo’s laughter in my head. Johnny misses the split legged moonsault but pulls out a pair of brass knuckles to knock Star out for the pin and the title at 11:43.

Rating: D. I know this is a promotion where the suspension of disbelief has to be stretched but the idea that the referees didn’t catch on to ANY of that cheating is too much for me to take. This was Sexy Star vs. the World (wide Underground) and it really didn’t work. Mundo cheating to win once or twice at the most would have been fine but this was two people interfering, a chair, two ref bumps and brass knuckles. There’s a line you can cross where it’s too much to take and this match jumped over it.

Prince Puma is working out when Vampiro comes in to say beating Mil Muertes was a great first step. Vampiro brings up Muertes killing Konnan, which Puma finds due to Vampiro’s hatred of Konnan. Puma seems to think about it to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t a strong episode on the wrestling side though we’re starting to get back on the right path with the storytelling, which is where Lucha Underground shines. You can tell there’s going to be some big stuff coming at the Aztec Warfare show and that’s a good sign going forward. This show wasn’t a good sign though and that’s quite the fall after last week’s strong outing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: October 19, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Things haven’t been great around here but this week will see Prince Puma facing Mil Muertes. If that’s not going to help things out around here, there’s nothing that’s going to. Other than that we’re likely seeing more in the never ending Chavo Guerrero vs. Rey Mysterio feud. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap looks at Prince Puma’s rebirth, Killshot being stalked, the Worldwide Underground vs. Sexy Star and Dario’s Dial of Doom.

Vampiro goes up to Puma for some advice but the Prince wants nothing to do with him.

We open with Dario’s Dial of Doom for the Lucha Underground Title shot.

Lucha Underground Title: Matanza vs. Killshot

Killshot is challenging but has a bad back coming in. Matanza is smart enough to go after the ribs and throw Killshot down onto the back. Some backbreakers have Killshot in even more trouble and Matanza shrugs off anything Killshot throws at him. Killshot goes up and has to escape a super tombstone of all things. Instead it’s a superkick to crotch Matanza into an elevated DDT. The double stomp misses though and Wrath of the Gods retains the title at 4:08.

Rating: C. I kind of like the idea of Killshot winning one of these in a glorified squash. Matanza doesn’t always have to be vulnerable and Killshot’s back injury prevents this from killing Killshot’s credibility. He’s already got a story going and isn’t a main event name so let the big name beat him decisively while he can move on.

Post match a guy with more dog tags (Former Evolve Champion AR Fox.) comes in to see Killshot. After an awkward hug, the unnamed man kicks Killshot in the face and gives him a fisherman’s buster. With Killshot down, the guy throws the dog tags on him and says Killshot left him for dead. I’m digging this story and the matches should be awesome.

The Rabbit Tribe is still coming.

Drago vs. Fenix vs. Aerostar

This is for one of Dario’s unique opportunities and that could mean anything. If nothing else it should mean a sweet match. Speaking of sweet, Dario announces AZTEC WARFARE returning in four weeks. Matanza will be entering at #1 and the winner of this match will be entering at #20, though the losers are OUT. That certainly is a unique opportunity.

Fenix is on the apron to start as they’re actually having tags. Feeling out process to start until Aerostar is sent outside, meaning Fenix can legally come in. The tags are quickly forgotten (as they should be) and things speed way up in a hurry. Fenix gets slammed face first into the mat to bust him open, leaving Aerostar to kick Drago in the corner. That’s fine with Fenix who superkicks the heck out of Aerostar, setting off the streak of dives to the floor.

Back in and Aerostar gets two off a DDT with Drago making the save. Drago puts Aerostar on the apron and Fenix on the top, only to have the latter take him out with a high crossbody. Fenix grabs his standing Indian deathlock on Drago but gets caught in a Black Widow at the same time. I know they look cool but I’m not a fan of spots where they’re clearly working together. Fenix is sent outside and Drago grabs a running Blockbuster for the pin on Aerostar at 8:47.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of lucha match that the show has been lacking. Just have three people (who happen to be the Trios Champions) go out there and fly around for a bit so the crowd can have fun. It’s an idea that worked really well before and it’s working well now. Fenix and Aerostar being out of Aztec Warfare is interesting, even though Fenix would have been a dark horse contender.

Drago is in the back when Kobra Moon crawls up to him. She wants him to bring the title back to their tribe but he says he left years ago. Vinnie Massaro of all people comes up eating pizza and saying this is the men’s locker room.

Johnny Mundo comes in to Dario’s office and STILL demands to be Lucha Underground Champion. Mundo gives Dario most of $100,000 for a shot at the Gift of the Gods Title.

Mil Muertes vs. Prince Puma

Puma strikes away to start but the headscissors is broken up with a knee to the ribs. A springboard clothesline only gets Puma so far but he avoids a charge and hits two straight dives. That’s fine with Muertes who spears Puma in half and hits him with a wooden chair. For some reason Muertes stops to look at the stone though and Puma hits a huge dive off the balcony to take him down again. What a sweet looking spot. There’s nothing else that needs to be said there: he went up really high, dove off, and looked cool. Sometimes that’s all you need.

Back in and Mil snaps off a powerslam before forearming Puma out of a spinning kick. A painful looking swinging chokeslam gets two on Puma but a superkick sets up the 630 for the completely clean pin on Muertes at 8:50. I know Muertes has taken a backseat to Matanza in the last year or so but that’s still a big win.

Rating: B+. This is the kind of match I love seeing on Lucha Underground. It’s an old feud and they beat the heck out of each other with a bunch of big spots. Puma is someone who could be rocketed right back to the top of the card and this is the kind of win that could do that for him. The same is true of Muertes, who will get to rebound from this kind of a loss.

Rey Mysterio is talking to Chavo Guerrero Sr. about his respect for Chavo Jr. Sr. respects Rey as well.

Overall Rating: B. Now that’s more like it. This was an action packed show but more importantly they now have something to look forward with Aztec Warfare. That match is the kind of thing that feels unique to Lucha Underground, which is something they’ve been missing for a long time now. Then again, maybe it was the lack of Chavo as that’s always a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: October 12, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

Things started to pick up a little bit last week as Prince Puma and Matanza had one heck of a match for the Lucha Underground Title. On top of that we have some new characters coming in with Ivelisse’s boyfriend Jeremiah and whoever Killshot left behind in war. We’ll also have the Gift of the Gods Title on the line tonight as Sexy Star defends against Jack Evans. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap focuses on Rey Mysterio Jr./Chavo Guerrero/Dragon Azteca Jr., Johnny Mundo wanting the Lucha Underground Title and the Famous B. saga.

Chavo attacks Dragon in the back with a chair. Mysterio comes in and awkwardly shouts Chavo’s name.

Son of Havoc/Mascarita Sagrada vs. Famous B./Dr. Wagner Jr.

Havoc and Sagrada come in on a motorcycle with a sidecar, freaking B. out for some reason. Why he’s shocked that a biker comes out on a bike isn’t clear but Famous B. is a complex guy. The bad guys slide to the floor, allowing Havoc and Sagrada to hit stereo dives. Havoc throws the mini into a hurricanrana to send B. flying and the fans are way into this early on. Wagner gets rolled up for two as he starts with Havoc but it’s quickly off to Sagrada to frustrate the Doctor.

B. comes in (rocking the white suit and tie) to take over on Sagrada because B. isn’t exactly good in the ring. A headscissors is enough to keep Wagner down and allows the tag off to Havoc. Everything breaks down and Sagrada gets to beat up B., including a pretty impressive Wasteland. Havoc gets shoved off the top though and it’s a Dr. Driver for Sagrada, allowing B. to get the pin, with Wagner’s stethoscope of course, at 5:25.

Rating: C+. They were smart to not give this one too long as it’s not the most interesting story. Famous B. is a good choice for the Jimmy Hart role though as he can go and work an easy match like this if necessary, which so many managers can’t do at the same level. I’m not sure where this story can go though, unless we’re actually getting Sagrada vs. B. at Ultima Lucha III.

The Rabbit Tribe is coming soon.

Dario’s Dial of Doom is back next week. Also next week: Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes.

Gift of the Gods Title: Jack Evans vs. Sexy Star

Star is defending. Before the match, Evans rhymes about this being Sexy’s last match because she’s going to need a lawyer after facing the star destroyer. I’ve heard worse, like from Men on a Mission. Star hits him in the face with whatever she can but gets dropkicked back down.

For some reason Star decides to speed things up against JACK EVANS, though it actually works as she armdrags him to the floor. A running seated senton off the apron has Jack reeling but he easily takes her down for a chinlock, complete with him making her speak Spanish. Jack’s multiple flips set up a double thumb to the eyes but gets caught in some slingshot bronco busters. That’s a new one, followed by some old knees to the back for two.

With that being a bit too complicated, Star shoves him off the top and dives outside after him, only to have PJ Black springboard in for a distraction. Cue Johnny Mundo to spear Star for two, followed by Aerostar and Drago to take them out. Then it’s Aerostar interfering to distract the referee, allowing Star to hit Black low. A fisherman’s neckbreaker retains the title at 9:17.

Rating: C-. I really don’t like the WWE style starting to sneak into this promotion. This match didn’t even go ten minutes and had five people interfere, along with a kendo sick. Lucha Underground goes hardcore and violent at times but I’d like that kind of stuff to stay far, far away from the regular matches. At least Star retained for a little while longer though and that’s important.

Chavo is in Dario’s office and the boss puts him in the main event for attacking Azteca. Mysterio comes in to blame Chavo for the attack and a fight breaks out. Dario puts them in a three way match with Pentagon Dark for the main event.

Pentagon Dark vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero

The good thing here: Pentagon comes out for his match with Azteca but is told the match has been changed. In other words, there was something planned before the new main event was announced. You almost NEVER get that in WWE or anywhere else for that matter. Mysterio and Pentagon split the chants as NO ONE CARES ABOUT CHAVO. Rey starts fast with some headscissors and both villains are quickly knocked out to the floor.

Pentagon comes back in and eats a springboard crossbody as Chavo looks for some toys. That earns him a baseball slide to drive a chair into his face, leaving Pentagon to shout into the camera. A hard shot to the knee has Rey in trouble but Chavo sends him face first into the chair in the corner. To be fair, Pentagon had to expect that when he loaded the thing up in the first place. It’s just wrestling logic.

Chavo comes back in with a suplex for Rey and a lot of stomping ensues. Now it’s Pentagon getting back up and dropkicking Rey to the floor, followed by something like a monkey flip into a Codebreaker for two. Chavo can’t quite hit Three Amigos, which Striker calls blasphemy. No, blasphemy is suggesting that Matt Striker deserves to be on commentary in wrestling. A Guerrero using a Guerrero move is pretty normal. Mysterio has had it with Chavo and takes him out with a 619, only to get caught in the package piledriver out of the corner to give Pentagon the pin at 8:50.

Rating: C+. I always approve of any match where Chavo Guerrero is beaten up. Pentagon winning is a good thing as he deserves more than what he’s doing at the moment. I’m not entirely sure why we’re still on Mysterio vs. Guerrero but maybe the next step is getting Dragon Azteca on to something better as well.

Post match Chavo cleans house with the chair and crushes Rey’s knee.

Overall Rating: B-. The wrestling was better here and that’s going to solve a lot of the problems in any promotion. Unfortunately, this is turning into just a run of the mill wrestling show with a theme instead of the off the wall and completely insane show that made me have so much fun with it for such a long time. I’m still having fun with it but it’s not must see anymore and that’s a shame.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: October 5, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

I don’t know how many other ways I can put this but Lucha Underground has been pretty boring lately. There’s been one good match with Killshot vs. Marty the Moth but the rest of the season has been spent running around in circles from one loose end to another. Maybe this is the show that starts to fix things though so let’s get to it.

We open with recaps of Dario’s Dial of Doom, Prince Puma vs. Mil Muertes and Texano vs. Cage.

Here’s Dario Cueto to spin the Dial and it’s…..Prince Puma. Now that’s an upgrade.

Ivelisse vs. Mariposa

Mariposa has Marty in her corner. Ivelisse is taken down to the mat to start and Mariposa goes after her hair. They fight over a lockup and Ivelisse takes over with a clothesline. The fans are way into Ivelisse here and it’s hard to argue as she looks awesome out there. A Marty distraction lets Mariposa take Ivelisse down by the hair and it’s off to something like a Sharpshooter but with Ivelisse using her arms instead of the legs.

After the rope is grabbed, Marty gets slapped away so it’s time for both villains to choke in the corner. Ivelisse fights out of a fireman’s carry and kicks out of a Samoan drop. Mariposa can’t get the Butterfly Effect either so it’s Code Red (running sunset flip bomb) to give Ivelisse the pin at 6:20.

Rating: C-. The women of Lucha Underground are such a strange group. Sometimes they can have the best match in weeks and other times you would think they had learned by watching old Bella Twins tapes. This felt like a collection of moves instead of a regular match and that’s rarely a good thing. As usual, it’s another match for the sake of having a match, which has plagued this season.

Marty decks Ivelisse post match.

Dario is on the phone when Johnny Mundo comes in, yet again demanding a title shot. Why did Puma get one tonight? He didn’t earn it like Mundo earned his abs so why should he get a title shot? Dario says no so Johnny will settle for Sexy Star and the Gift of the Gods Title. That’s not happening either because Johnny’s Worldwide Underground stablemate Jack Evans already has that shot. Johnny isn’t pleased.

The White Rabbit Tribe is coming. Somehow I like this idea.

Texano vs. Cage

Match #2 in a best of five series with Cage up 1-0. Texano misses a running boot to start and gets shouldered in the corner. Cage is knocked outside and sent into various metal objects but Cage comes right back with a superplex for two. A hard elbow to the jaw drops Cage again but he grabs a powerslam to set up a middle rope moonsault. Striker is very happy that we’re guaranteed another one of these though I don’t quite share that sentiment. Cage catches him coming out of the corner with a sitout Alabama Slam and an F5 wraps up Texano at 6:28.

Rating: C. Striker thinks that going up 2-0 makes Cage the favorite to win the whole thing. That’s Michael Cole levels of stating the obvious and it’s getting harder and harder to sit through. It’s also getting hard to sit through this best of five series, but at least the matches have been quick and we should be done next time. Then again, this is wrestling so we’re going to go to five matches because of course we are.

Ivelisse’s boyfriend Jeremiah (Sami Callihan) wants to beat on Marty and Mariposa for jumping her but Ivelisse says she wants to keep things separate.

Lucha Underground Title: Prince Puma vs. Matanza

Matanza is defending and has Dario in his corner. They trade hard shots to the face to start with Matanza getting the better of it, only to miss a charge and get dropkicked out to the floor. A shooting star off the apron makes things worse for the champ but he’s more than capable of hanging in a fight on the floor.

Puma is whipped hard into the barricade and it’s time for the monster to throw him around with raw power. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Matanza runs him over with a hard shoulder so Puma can sell the heck out of it. That’s so important and makes monsters look even better. Puma comes back with something like a 619 around the post to set up a springboard clothesline.

Another shooting star gets two on the champ as the fans are WAY behind Puma here. Matanza opts for another splash but Puma actually pulls him out of the air for a lifting suplex. Now THAT makes the fans lose their minds but Puma’s kick is caught in the air and turned into a capture suplex for two more. Wrath of the Gods is countered into a DDT though and Dario gets to panic all over again. More kicks to the head set up the 630 but Mil Muertes comes in with a spear to take Puma out…..but Dario says it’s No DQ. Muertes gives Puma a Flatliner and Wrath of the Gods retains the title at 12:55.

Rating: B. This was a very entertaining match but because it had two people who know how to wrestle the big match style. However, there’s only so much you can do with no story. Other than a wheel spinning, there’s no reason for Puma to get this shot. The action more than carried this one though and that’s what makes something like this work.

Killshot is lifting weights when Joey Ryan comes in with a note for him. Killshot asks who gave it to him. Ryan: “What do I look like? A detective?” The note says Killshot left someone for dead.

Overall Rating: B-. This show was better than usual but the big problem is still there: the lack of stories building up to the big matches. Almost none of these matches have any real build to the showdowns and almost everything feels like it’s thrown together in a few minutes. Lucha Underground works because they build things up over time whereas recent weeks have been little more than “here’s the story and here’s the match a week or two later”. That takes away the uniqueness from the show and that’s not a good thing.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Middle Kingdom Wrestling
Date: September 18, 2016
Location: CWE Gym, Dongguan, China
Commentator: Eddie Strong

It’s the season finale with MKW Champion Dalton Bragg defending against the huge King Michael. This has been a rather different season as there hasn’t been much of a focus aside from the stuff over the title near the beginning. I’m still liking it well enough though and there’s a story to get us here, which is the most important thing. Let’s get to it.

M.A. vs. King of Man

This is a bonus match and a Kung Fu Showcase. No story or anything here and I don’t know who either of them are but that’s standard around here. They trade kicks and strikes to start of course with King (there probably shouldn’t be two Kings on the same show) getting the better of it until he gets thrown off the top. I don’t remember that in the full two Kung Fu movies I’ve seen.

A nice looking headscissors sends M.A. flying and a Vader Bomb elbow gets one. M.A. comes back with some running clotheslines in the corner as Strong (dang it I miss Ferguson) tells us that M.A. is the heel. See, that’s something so easy that a simple statement clears up. King gets caught in a hard chokeslam for two but he comes right back with a basement dropkick for two of his own.

We hit a dragon sleeper on M.A. as Strong tells us about the horrible weather in China at the moment. A missed moonsault from King sends both guys outside and M.A. hits a Triad Kick (Mafia Kick) for two. M.A. gets a bit more creative with a chokeslam spinebuster for yet another two, only to have King throw him down and hit a spinning top rope splash for the pin.

Rating: C+. I’m not sure where the Kung Fu part came in but this was another nice match with some time to make it work. Of course it’s not exactly up to par with most stuff you’ll see but it was still an entertaining match with one guy as the heel and the other as the face. A story would have been nice but at least we had something entertaining for the first half of the show.

Quick recap of King Michael vs. Dalton Bragg. Michael attacked Bragg earlier in the season and a match was made. Simple, yet effective.

Middle Kingdom Wrestling Title: Dalton Bragg vs. King Michael

Bragg is defending and this is anything goes. This is kind of an odd visual as Michael is huge and Bragg is a stick but he’s still taller than Michael. I also don’t buy for a second that Michael is 500lbs as he looks closer to 350. You can gimmick the weights but there’s a limit. Bragg gets shouldered down and splashed for two so it’s time for weapons.

Michael sets up a piece of wood over some boxes but has to shrug off some clotheslines before easily blocking a suplex. Instead it’s a chokebomb to put Bragg…..onto the wood, which just kind of flew to the side instead of breaking. A World’s Strongest Slam sets up some kendo stick shots but Bragg takes it away and pounds on Michael.

We hear about Bragg’s deathmatch background (which was mentioned in season one) as Michael takes it outside where some of his cronies get in a few shots to Bragg’s back. Another table is set up but Dalton gets in a few more kicks to stagger Michael in front of the table…..for a very, VERY long time……until a jumping kick knocks Michael onto the table (again, not through it) to retain the title.

Rating: C. This is a tricky one as the story was there but there’s only so much you can do when Michael is a one dimensional monster and Bragg MIGHT weigh 140lbs if you put a half dozen bricks in his pockets. The match was watchable enough but I really could have gone with another segment between them or some promos about why these two wanted to fight.

Post match the Slam comes out for a staredown. Bragg punches him in the jaw and a really bad looking slugout wraps things up.

We get a graphic for an upcoming wrestling festival featuring the MKW roster and some other wrestlers, including the Powers of Pain. Well that’s a bit of an upgrade.

Overall Rating: C+. For a stand alone show, this was fun enough but not so much as a season finale. For the last show we’ll be seeing from these guys for months, your longest match probably shouldn’t be between two newcomers without much of a story. That’s where MKW starts to fall apart for me: they rarely have more than one or two stories going on at a time and that gives a show like this a hard time. It’s still an easy sit through and that’s important.

Overall season two was…..odd. They set up the title match to start things off but then it was a few one off matches before we got to the six man (which is still confusing) and the season finale. It was cool to see the international talent but they all feel out of left field and therefore like filler instead of something out of MKW. I still liked it (partially due to the length of the shows and some better details in the stories we had) but it would have been nice to have some better character development and a reason to care about these people. I’m not sure I’d call it an upgrade but it’s definitely different.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LY6766K#nav-subnav

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Lucha Underground
Date: September 28, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

This season is still off to a rocky start as we’re still waiting for the big stories to really take off. There are a bunch of minor stories going on but nothing is really picking up and making me want to stick around and watch a lot of this stuff. Then again, the Lucha Underground tradition is to make things look horrible and then turn it around in a hurry. Let’s get to it.

The opening video looks at Rey Mysterio Jr./Dragon Azteca Jr./Chavo Guerrero Jr., the Worldwide Underground, the cops investigating Dario Cueto and Vampiro getting in Prince Puma’s head.

Dario comes in to see Sexy Star and suggests that she’s going to lose the Gift of the Gods Title soon. It won’t be tonight though as she’s teaming up with the Trios Champions against the Worldwide Underground. Cueto leaves and Johnny Mundo comes in to officially introduce himself to Star. You would think they would have met somewhere in there. He promises to take the title from her but she squeezes his hand.

Siniestro De La Muerte vs. Prince Puma

They run the ropes to start and flip over each other until a snap hurricanrana puts Muerte down. Vampiro seems VERY pleased with the more aggressive Puma, who grabs something like a suplex but kneels down and bends Muerte’s leg over his head. Puma tries to run a bit too much though and gets caught in a reverse powerbomb out of the corner. A big spinning kick to the face drops Muerte again but here’s Mil Muertes to distract Puma. That isn’t a DQ for some reason so Puma hits a modified Michinoku Driver and a Flatliner (with a look at Muertes) for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: C. This was a good showing for the new Puma as he almost had to evolve to stay relevant in the rapidly changing Lucha Underground. It’s also cool to see the promotion use somewhat big names as jobbers as Muerte hadn’t been around in a while but still has enough credentials that beating him means something.

Muertes goes after Puma but Catrina drags him away.

Cortez Castro goes in to see Dario, who gets up and hugs him. Dario is going to do everything he can to bring Cisco’s killer to justice. You can hear Melissa Santos introducing Castro for his match so he leaves the office as Dario sneers.

Cortez Castro vs. Pentagon Dark

Castro clearly isn’t ready and didn’t know he was having a match. Cortez elbows him in the mask to start but gets kicked down almost immediately. The package piledriver gives Dark the win at 1:11.

Post match, Pentagon breaks Castro’s arm and says he wants to do the same to Azteca or Guerrero.

Worldwide Underground vs. Drago/Aerostar/Fenix/Sexy Star

The women start things off and run the ropes a bit before Star’s hurricanrana sends Taya over for a tag. Evans comes in for a bunch of flips (literally, and with the announcers mocking him for them) before handing it off to Black. That’s fine with Drago, who legsweeps Black a few times before the good guys start speeding things up. Mundo cuts that off almost immediately with a superkick to Fenix. You can’t have one superkick in a row though so Fenix superkicks Mundo right back down, followed by a Helluva Kick.

Instead Fenix drops Star into a legdrop for two but it’s time to start the quadruple teaming in the bad corner. Taya hits some running knees in the corner and Star is busted open. Mundo hits Star by mistake though and the hot tag brings in Drago to speed things up again. Everything breaks down and they trade strikes before it’s time for Fenix to hit the dives. Star sends Taya outside (where Taya seems to injure her ankle or leg) but gets superkicked by Johnny, sending her into a backslide for the pin at 8:52.

Rating: B-. This is more like it with the fast paced people flying all over the place and looking awesome like Lucha Underground is supposed to do. Mundo is likely going to wind up as the big bad of the show, which in a way is more interesting than having some supernatural character for a change. These tag matches are one of the things Lucha Underground does best and it worked well here too.

Catrina and Muertes aren’t pleased with Muerte’s latest loss. His punishment: CATRINA SUCKS OUT HIS SOUL, which she blows into Mil. She wants him to do the same thing to Puma. Stand there while she spits a soul at him?

Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Mysterio is guest referee. Feeling out process to start until Chavo shoulders him down for a headlock. A springboard into a rollup gets two for Dragon and he grabs an armbar of his own. They head outside with Striker saying this is like a professional team playing a college team. I’m assuming he means Chavo is the pro team, assuming that means he’s older, slower, and less popular.

Azteca gets posted on the floor and clotheslined back inside for two before it’s back to the chinlock. A half crab is broken up thanks to a rope grab but Chavo shoves Rey down for breaking the hold. The distraction lets Dragon grab a rollup out of the electric chair for the quick pin at 7:15.

Rating: C. As is so often the case around here this season, this was really just there. Chavo really isn’t that interesting and his just average matches aren’t going to cut it around here. Then again that’s probably why he’s a heel. Going somewhere with Azteca and Mysterio would help a lot but that’s not seeming likely right now.

Black Lotus is praying (I think?) at a shrine (Maybe?) to her parents (In theory?) and promises to have her Triad avenge them against Pentagon Dark.

Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling helped here but the same problem persists: what’s the point of this show right now? Dario is of course the top villain but there’s no real advancement with most of his stuff. The wheel deciding challengers for Matanza doesn’t really help either as it’s just him beating up people that we know he can beat up without much effort. Other than that there’s the Worldwide Underground which isn’t exactly top level stuff after we’ve had Matanza and Muertes around. This show was better but they need to actually do something soon.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: September 21, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

This season has been off to an interesting start as we have Dario Cueto doing various things and…..that’s really about all that can be pinned down. Almost everything else feels like one random match or story after another but Lucha Underground has earned the benefit of the doubt when it comes to storytelling. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Dial of Doom, Rey Mysterio vs. Pentagon Dark., which set up Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon and the Worldwide Underground’s issues.

Mysterio and Azteca are working out with Mysterio saying to forget Pentagon because they have their own battle to fight. Chavo Guerrero comes in and grabs a leg lock on Azteca but Rey quickly chases him off.

Dario spins the Dial of Doom and we’ve got a title match.

Lucha Underground Title: Matanza vs. The Mack

Mack is challenging and, somehow knowing he would be getting the shot, runs in through the crowd to go after Matanza in the aisle. A Stunner on the floor gives Mack three straight near falls, followed by a hurricanrana for good measure. Matanza shrugs it off and grabs a release German suplex. A pumphandle throw makes it worse and Cueto wants to see Mack dropped on his neck. Mack sends him outside for a flip dive but his frog splash hits knees. Wrath of the Gods retains the title at 6:03.

Rating: C+. I don’t know what it is about Mack but he’s just a likeable guy. On the surface he’s an overweight guy with bad fashion sense who can do a Stunner but his matches almost always wind up being entertaining. There’s something to this challenger of the week as the big ending should be a major name, though there will have to be some shenanigans to get them around the choices on the wheel.

Somewhere on the open road, as in somewhere in a basement, Son of Havoc is watching Famous B. commercials. Mascarita Sagrada is watching with him but here’s Mama Havoc with Bagel Bites in the most bizarre advertisement I’ve ever seen.

Johnny Mundo and Taya come in to see Dario with Johnny demanding his title shot. Dario laughs them off and says tonight the Worldwide Underground gets their rematch for the Trios Titles instead. That’s not cool with Johnny so he storms off, leaving Taya to say she’ll fight in his place.

Cage vs. Texano

Dario comes out of his office to say that the winner of this will get the ULTIMATE OPPORTUNITY. They go to the mat to start until Cage sends him over the ropes, only to get Stunned across the top. Texano gets kicked to the floor and taken down by a big man flip dive which always looks cool. Back in and Cage grabs a reverse Boston crab of all things but his rolling Germans are countered into an ankle lock. They trade some small packages for two each, followed by Cage hitting a Death Valley Driver for two more. A big old discus lariat takes Texano down and gives Cage the pin at 6:02.

Rating: C. Two power guys beating each other up for a few minutes is entertaining and that’s something you can always use. Well assuming you haven’t done the same thing for the last month or two with the matches losing any meaning they might have had in the first place. I like both guys though so this was a fun little match while it lasted.

Dario says not so fast as that was the first match in a Best of Five series. And before you ask, this was taped before Cesaro vs. Sheamus started.

Dario is in his office and opens a box containing…..a Famous B. hat? There’s also an envelope with some black and white photos which we can’t really see. Dragon Azteca comes in and asks for a match with Pentagon Dark. Dario actually says he’ll pencil it in so Azteca leaves. Ricky Mandel comes in and asks when his next match will be. That goes nowhere though as he sees the pictures that Dario had put in his trashcan. Dario gives him the pictures to get rid of him. Chavo comes in and says they need to talk.

Trios Titles: Aerostar/Fenix/Drago vs. Worldwide Underground

Aerostar and company are defending. Drago and Evans start things off with Jack having issues removing his warmup gear. Black tags himself in but Taya does the same so we can finally get contact. They trade technical stuff to start with Taya flipping out of a waistlock for a standoff.

Black comes in again and kicks Aerostar in the ribs, only to have the spaceman come back with a soringboard corkscrew crossbody. A tornado DDT is muscled over into a suplex for two but Black dives into raised boots. It’s off to Evans vs. Fenix but again Jack tags out again. Fenix pops Taya in the face with a slap so it’s Black coming in, only to get stomped in the back of the head. A mask pull puts Drago down and Black tags himself in again which causes some friction between Taya and Evans. Doesn’t make sense but whatever.

Black misses his top rope Lionsault and Taya has to throw Evans in by the hair. The champs start speeding things up and whip each other into Black in the corner as Evans is sitting on the floor with his arms folded. Black tries a springboard but Aerostar springboards up into a hurricanrana of his own. I know it looked bad with Black clearly just being there so he could get taken down but still, cool spot. A springboard Codebreaker puts Black away at 9:23.

Rating: D+. Really not much to see here other than some issues with the Worldwide Underground. It’s nice to have a promotion where stables aren’t beaten into the ground so a new one can feel fresh. Unfortunately this wasn’t the most interesting match in the world as they were doing the whole “no you fight” for the first five minutes or so. The ending helped but it’s still nothing compared to the usual stuff from these titles.

Post match Mundo runs in to help with the beatdown. Sexy Star comes out for the save and we’ll likely have an eight person tag soon.

Mysterio is in Dario’s office to say Azteca isn’t ready to face Pentagon. Dario agrees so instead we’ll have Azteca vs. Chavo with the winner facing Pentagon. As a bonus, Mysterio gets to be guest referee.

Overall Rating: D+. Maybe it’s just the beginning of the season but these first few episodes haven’t done much for me so far. There’s some good stuff going on here but this episode felt like another week with nothing to see and another “wait until next week” show. The good thing though is this promotion has shown that they know how to pick things up in a hurry with whatever wacky storyline they have next. Not a good show this week though.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: September 14, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Matt Striker, Vampiro

Tonight is about focusing on a midcard story for a change with a main event of Killshot vs. Marty the Moth Martinez in a Weapons of Mass Destruction match. It’s quite different to see a match at that level getting such attention but things don’t always work like normal here in Lucha Underground. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap focuses on Dario Cueto returning to the Temple, Famous B. vs. Mascarita Sagrada and Martinez vs. Killshot.

We look back at the cops trying to arrest Cueto and realizing that he’s more than just a regular street thug. Captain Vazquez (Castro’s boss) tells him to see the bigger picture because there’s a war coming.

Dr. Wagner Jr. vs. Mascarita Sagrada

Famous B., now with his phone number on his tie, handles Wagner’s introduction. Sagrada tries a waistlock but gets hit with a Doctor Driver for the pin at 53 seconds. I’m very glad that Wagner wasn’t just a one off appearance at Ultima Lucha II.

We go back millenia in time (somehow that works around here) and see a dying father giving a young girl an amulet which only works on females. Once she puts it on, she will never die. All that matters is fighting the coming war and then the father dies.

In present day, Captain Vazquez is seen looking at half of the amulet when Cortez comes in to see her. She suspends him and says to stop worrying about Cueto because there are more important things to worry about.

Argenis vs. Mil Muertes

Argenis tries some right hands to start and is quickly powerbombed. A chop and moonsault actually give Argenis a one count but the Flatliner gives Muertes the pin at 1:34.

Catrina gives Argenis the Lick of Death but here’s Prince Puma to springboard in and take out Muertes with some dropkicks. So Puma is listening to Vampiro, as he probably should.

Joey Ryan comes in to see Dario and admits that he’s an undercover cop who knows Dario killed Cisco. He gets right to the chase: Joey wants to be on the right side of the war, unlike Castro, who Joey outs as a fellow cop. Dario gives him some money to pay child support.

Castro tells Vazquez he wants to be on her side in the war. He leaves and she looks at the amulet.

Marty Martinez vs. Killshot

Weapons of Mass Destruction match with Killshot attacking in the aisle. They head to the balcony which is covered in sandbags as the arena has a military theme. Marty is thrown over the announcers’ table to draw a THIS IS AWESOME chant. The bloody Martinez throws Melissa Santos at Killshot for a breather before hammering him into the crowd. Killshot fights back so Marty bails to the floor, only to have Killshot dive off the balcony to take him down.

Marty stops to set up some tables but opts to suplex Killshot onto the apron. This has been the kind of violent brawl it should have been so far. We get a ladder bridged between the ring and the barricade but Killshot throws a blanket over Marty and kicks him down. Another ladder is dragged inside as Striker makes military analogies. A spinebuster puts Killshot down onto a big crate and a superplex onto the same crate makes things even worse.

Somehow Killshot pops and hits a Death Valley Driver onto the ladder, followed by a top rope double stomp for our first near fall. It adds so much when they don’t do those every thirty seconds. Marty is fine enough to powerbomb Killshot over the top and through two tables at ringside for a really sick looking crash. That’s only good for two though and Killshot grabs a quick Killdriver for two. Marty laughs because he’s not all there.

Since two ladders aren’t enough, here’s a mega ladder to make it even worse. The ladder is set in the middle of the ring and there’s a table at either side. Both guys head up the ladder but here’s Mariposa to go after Killshot, only to have him knock her down through a table. With no one left to make a save, Killshot grabs Marty low and steals the dog tags back. A HUGE double stomp drives Marty through the other table and gives Killshot the pin at 22:33.

Rating: B+. Sometimes you just need to crank up the violence and let two guys beat the heck out of each other for a long time. This is the biggest win of Killshot’s career and he’s ready to move on to something more important. The blood on Marty’s face was a great visual and both guys looked awesome throughout. It’s a perfect way to blow off a feud like this and Marty can keep being creepy with someone else.

Muertes is beating up a helpless locker when Catrina comes in. Mil wants Puma, and I know this because he shouts I WANT PUMA. Catrina says patience is a virtue and she’s been waiting hundreds of years for something. She holds up the other half of the amulet to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. This show did a lot of good about moving the stories forward. You can see the major story being set up and tonight was about moving a bunch of pieces around a chess board. Lucha Underground is a rare company where the stories are so different than what you see in the ring as there’s a whole other world outside of the arena. It’s hard to say where this is going but there’s potential to have a lot of fun.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s Complete 2014 Raw and Smackdown Reviews Part I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Lucha Underground
Date: September 7, 2016
Location: Lucha Underground Temple, Boyle Heights, California
Commentators: Vampiro, Matt Striker

We’re already back for the third season as the second felt like it ended in a hurry. Last season wrapped up with Dario Cueto being arrested in what felt like a mid-season finale and the very quick return backs up the theory that it wasn’t supposed to be the big ending. Hopefully we can get some resolution to the storylines here instead. Let’s get to it.

Dario Cueto is exercising in his jail cell when a guard lets him out. He’s given his personal objects back……BY THE HONKY TONK MAN??? I can totally live with this, even if it’s just a one off cameo. Dario gets in a limo where Councilman Delgado tells him that the charges have been dropped. The big boss, whoever that is, tells Dario to never waste his time again. Dario looks terrified.

The announcers welcome us to the show with Vampiro saying his only job is being an announcer. I’m sure.

Dario and Matanza are in the ring with the boss announcing Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark. That should get a bigger build no? That brings Dario to his brother, who has destroyed everyone in his path. Dario has a new toy: Dario’s Dial of Doom. It’s a big wheel with wrestlers names on it. Whoever it lands on gets to face Matanza, provided they haven’t challenged for the title yet. Therefore, Mysterio isn’t eligible. It’s already time for the first spin.

Lucha Underground Title: Son of Havoc vs. Matanza

Matanza is defending. Havoc starts with the dropkick into the corner but a crossbody just bounces off the monster’s chest. A missed charge sends Matanza into the post and out to the floor as Striker compares the champ to Bruno Sammartino and Joe Louis. Havoc follows him out with an elbow around the post for a low blow as Matanza is already selling WAY more than usual, which is a good sign going forward. Dario is worried about his brother and says this should be baby food.

Back up and Matanza slams him down to set up a standing moonsault. A guillotine choke has Matanza in trouble and Havoc pulls him out to the floor again. They’re doing a really good job here of making Matanza seem vulnerable and that’s going to keep the fans more into the match. Havoc grabs a cross armbreaker followed by something like a Lethal Injection. The shooting star only gets two and that’s probably going to wrap up Havoc’s chances. A quick Wrath of the Gods retains Matanza’s title at 7:20.

Rating: B-. This was an interesting choice for the season opener as Son of Havoc gets a chance at the title while Matanza doesn’t get to show off as much as usual. I’m not sure if this was the best way to get the fans going but again it seems like this is the start of a second half instead of a fresh season.

PJ Black, Johnny Mundo, Jack Evans and Taya come in to see Dario with Mundo demanding a title shot. Dario says no because they recently lost the Trios Titles. We see the team laying out Angelico and crushing his leg in a car door. Odds are that writes Angelico off TV. Dario still won’t give him a title shot so Mundo will settle for the Gift of the Gods Title. Still no, but Dario gives Taya a shot at Sexy Star instead.

Ivelisse is in the ring to talk about how Catrina cost her at Ultima Lucha. That means it’s time for a challenge to a match at Ultima Lucha Tres. Catrina appears on the balcony and says bring it on so Ivelisse says Catrina is dead.

Gift of the Gods Title: Taya vs. Sexy Star

Taya is challenging and Striker mentions that the Gift of the Gods Title has never been successfully defended. Now that’s the kind of stuff he should be telling us, not dropping Henry Godwinn references. Taya grabs a front facelock and the announcers debate Johnny Smith vs. Johnny Saint.

Some double knees to the face gets two on Taya but she misses a moonsault. Star makes her comeback as Striker asks what would happen if Taya won the title instead of Mundo. Striker: “Sometimes there’s no time for pants.” I’ll let you imagine the context. Cue Mundo and company (the Worldwide Underground) but Evans collides with Taya to give Star the pin at 5:38.

Rating: C. This was fine. It’s really cool that the title just happened to be on the line between two women but it’s something that so many others on the roster want. Mundo’s quest for the title with lackeys by his side could make him an interesting high level heel for the season and he can easily back it up in the ring. Not a great match here but it set some stuff up for the long term.

Star gets beaten down until Fenix, Drago and Aerostar make the save. You can almost guarantee an eight person tag.

Dario is on the phone when Marty the Moth comes in. Apparently Marty had some people help Dario in prison but Dario never wants his time in jail mentioned again. Marty wants to be Lucha Underground Champion but instead he gets Killshot next week in a Weapons of Mass Destruction match. There’s something very unique about the idea of no one knowing what happens in these backstage segments. It’s like no one watches the show which doesn’t make a ton of sense, but at least it’s something they stick with all the time.

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark

They stare each other down to start until Rey sends him outside. That just earns him some chops but Pentagon stops to glare at the referee. The fans don’t seem sure who to cheer for as Pentagon was getting close to being the anti-hero last season but cut it off at the end. A big superkick drops Mysterio, only to have Pentagon take too much time on top and get hurricanranaed down.

Pentagon takes it outside again but Mysterio pops right back up with a tornado DDT on the floor. That earns Rey a pumphandle driver for two back inside with Striker going into a weird tangent about Rey having his kids’ college paid for and there being no reason for him to kick out. Another superkick blasts Rey but Pentagon stops to yell at Vampiro, who just sits and stares. Vampiro gets out of his chair and walks away as Mysterio escapes the package piledriver. The 619 and a middle rope Canadian Destroyer of all things puts Pentagon away at 8:34.

Rating: B-. Another good but not great match here as the Vampiro vs. Pentagon story continues for no real logical reason. My guess continues to be that Vampiro has a new protege to take down Pentagon (Puma would make sense) but I really could go with Pentagon being done with Vampiro altogether. Oh and Pentagon should have won here. That really doesn’t need much of an explanation.

Pentagon goes for Rey’s arm but Dragon Azteca Jr. makes the save.

Puma is thinking about the loss to Mysterio when Vampiro comes in and says Puma has been off since he lost to Mil Muertes. If Puma wants to be back to his old self, he needs to beat Muertes. Puma was expecting Vampiro to ask him to get rid of Pentagon (Kentucky boys think alike) but Vampiro says it’s all about Puma to end the show.

Overall Rating: B. I know I’ve said it multiple times already but this felt like the start of the second half of the season. We really didn’t get any major plot developments other than Dario already being out of prison. Most of the stories are picking up where they left off and that’s a good thing as so many of them felt incomplete. It’s a good next episode though and they have a lot of places to go as this season goes on.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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First Blood
Date: June 26, 2011
Location: Hammerstein Ballroom, New York City, New York
Commentators: Julius Smokes, Shawn Credle, Robby Mireno

I remember hearing about this promotion when it first came out and wrote it off as a bad dream I had after watching too many old New Jack matches. This is the Urban Wrestling Federation and it’s a mixture of hip hop music (I’m a rock guy so this is already WAY out of my comfort zone) and wrestling (now we’re talking). This promotion only ran like five shows and for reasons of general annoyance, someone requested I look at their first offering. Let’s get to it.

A reporter for some hip hop site reports on a rapper being arrested for fighting with a wrestler.

Opening sequence. I can already tell that I’m in trouble.

Some people are in….I think an alley, with one of them saying the ring is the new block. Apparently the two larger guys are going to pick up a bunch of people who may be either rappers or wrestlers.

Larry Legend (I believe the host) says the UWF is in the house. How do we get them out of the house?

Here’s someone named Low Life Louie Ramos with something to say. Apparently he’s part of Uncle Murda’s (the rapper arrested earlier) crew and calls out someone who sneaks in from the back and hits him with a chair. The announcers aren’t helping any here as they’re talking about that being the chair shot from Atlanta instead of saying who these people are or why they’re fighting.

Louie is busted open and whoever this is (possibly named Murder-1) pulls out a sharp object to stab him in the head. A big boot and cutter leave Louie laying as the announcers talk over Murder-1’s promo, consisting of him calling out Uncle Murda because his crew is tougher. Cue a Grim Reefer, Big Block and Ruckus to stand next to the guy in the ring (again, not sure what his name is) and apparently praise him.

Now it’s Uncle Murda (Wasn’t he in jail?), EC Negro and KC Blade (no idea who ANY of these people are but the announcers seem to think I should) and after Murda praises New York City several times, here are Brisco, Dope and Creed. One of them (Does it matter who?) talks about how he was sleeping with Reefer/Block and Ruckus’ women over Memorial Day weekend, of course using some incredibly adult language in the process. Then the bell rings and we have a match. It’s better than hearing these people talk any longer.

2-Dope/Creed vs. EC Negro/KC Blade vs. Grim Reefer/Ruckus

I had to look up who was teaming with who and who these people were online because again, the announcers aren’t telling us a thing. Apparently Ruckus (who I’ve at least heard of) snaps off a headscissors on Creed but Dope jumps him from behind. As you might expect, there’s no actual tagging or really anything resembling wrestling going on here. Blade (thanks announcers) plants Dope with a powerslam but here’s Reefer to chop him, which the announcers describe as “treating him like a prostitute.” Other announcer: “That’s a crazy white boy right there.”

Creed comes back in to beat on Negro as we’re told this is about representing your turf and crew. A Creed dive takes out a bunch of people and Reefer follows with a big flip dive, which the announcer compares to the sound of a Beretta. Everyone is down on the floor as we’re told that falls count anywhere. Thanks for bringing that up three and a half minutes in.

Reefer puts Negro in a Crossface but Blade makes a save. An elevated Stunner plants Reefer but Dope comes in before there’s a cover. Uncle Murda grabs a mic and shouts LET’S GO NEW YORK over and over. Dope clotheslines Ruckus to the floor as the announcers try to name the teams.

Creed and Dope (The Ghetto Mafia. Normally I would edit that into the title but I want you to understand how random all this information is coming in.) double team Reefer until Negro and Blade come in with a double piledriver (one over the shoulder and the other a regular one, basically sandwiching Reefer in the middle). Unfortunately they stop to pose too much though, allowing Creed to steal the pin on Reefer at 6:50.

Rating: D. There were some good looking double team moves here but there’s no hiding the fact that this is going to be a mess. I still have no idea who these people are, why they’re fighting, who I’m supposed to cheer for or really anything about the promotion other than they’re all here for money. That’s good enough for motivation I guess but

The winners go through the curtain and swear about New York a lot.

Another rapper and his wrestling cronies (perhaps the S.A.T.’s who you might remember from TNA’s early days) say they’re here to take over but now he’s tired of talking to us.

More rappers are in a limo and the one on the left gives the other an envelope presumably containing cash. In exchange, he wants the rapper from the previous segment taken out. Oh and he wants the UWF Title because it means more money.

We get our third straight segment of people talking, one of them wearing a Cleveland Indians hat and instantly becoming my favorite. He asks one of them for his money because it’s his girlfriend’s shopping money. The guy, referred to as amigo, doesn’t have it and the Indians guy isn’t happy. Amigo has an hour to get the money to him, even though there’s less than forty minutes left in the show.

EVEN MORE UNNAMED PEOPLE are here to take over. Would some name graphics kill them? They’re also from some other town and hate New York. Oh one of them is Big Block from earlier. That’s so insightful.

Someone, perhaps Murder-1, yells at Blade and Negro for losing, which doesn’t play in New York. He wants the title too and doesn’t like the rapper with the S.A.T.’s, who may be named Red Cap. Oh and something about wanting money. I think we’ve established that by this point.

A guy is on the phone and talking about wanting the title when someone shows up and knees him in the head. ANOTHER GUY comes up and walks over him to go into his dressing room, where yet another unnamed person is going through the walk overer’s bag.

The announcer is in the ring when the people from the locker room (Facade, the walk overer, and Bestia, the guy who was caught going through the bag) fight through the entrance with Facade backdropping him onto a ladder. Apparently they’re trying to impress the bosses to get a spot in the UWF Title tournament. So that’s a thing too. Oh hey a bell.

Bestia vs. Facade

Facade armdrags him down as the announcers praise his braided hair. A kick to the head (possibly called Ultimate Toejam) gets two on Bestia as we’re told this is about representing your city, which I think is what the whole promotion is about. Bestia comes back with a kick to the face and a front flip legdrop as the announcers talk about someone named Billy Blue, who sounds like the promotion’s boss. Facade is dropped throat first across the barricade, which is compared to Ali-Frazier.

A table is set up but Bestia hits Facade with a chair. Announcer: “That’s it! Paralyze him!” Facade missile dropkicks a chair into Bestia’s face for two with the announcers saying it would have been a pin in PG wrestling. A botched springboard bulldog plants Bestia with Facade yelling at the referee. Announcer (none of them have been named on screen): “Go to Wendy’s and McDonald’s for that beef!” Something like a hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb through the table on the floor to give Bestia the fluke pin at 6:07.

Rating: D. This was your run of the mill indy match with two guys doing flips and using weapons for no particular rhyme or reason until one person won. The whole thing with the bag in the back was ignored (or more likely never seen by the announcers) for the sake of more turf wars, which aren’t interesting and make no sense unless you have some kind of prior knowledge of this.

Billy Blue (Indians guy) and company come out and have the wrestlers thrown inside. Blue wants some applause for Bestia, who apparently is the guy who owed him money earlier on. All of Blue’s guys beat Bestia down as a “reward”. Blue calls them off because Bestia won and they carry him to the back because he’s part of the team.

We get a two second shot of the announcers to find out their names.

More people, again not named but one of them looks like a low rent Paul Heyman, say someone is late when a phone rings. It seems to be Red Cap, who will be delayed for reasons that aren’t explained. The Heyman guy seems to be running the place and hands the phone to the other guy (Mel), who wants to know what’s good. The camera pans over to show a bunch of people sitting at a table listening to this as Mel talks about buying a yacht. Heyman gets on the phone again and hands it to one of the people at the table, who happens to be Eddie Kingston. Red tells Eddie and the rest of the people to go with Mel.

Hey look: more people talking about turf and arguing.

Homicide says he gets more money and women than Eddie Kingston.

Mel tells Kingston that this is about the title and the money so go beat up Homicide.

Eddie Kingston vs. Homicide

Mel and Uncle Murda are at ringside. Homicide gets knocked to the floor to start but comes back with a flip dive off the apron. They chop it out until Homicide pokes him in the eye and kicks him in the face. Choking and yelling at the rapping managers (close enough) ensues. Eddie gets in a gordbuster and some face ripping, followed by a waistlock of all things. Homicide escapes and goes outside to take the barricade apart.

That goes nowhere so Homicide suplexes him and drops a top rope headbutt for two. A neckbreaker lets the announcers take another shot at WWE because Homicide was REALLY trying to break Eddie’s neck. Eddie comes back with a sliding lariat for two but Homicide hits a quick super cutter and Vertebreaker (Cop Killer) for the pin at 10:55.

Rating: D+. Match of the night by about ten thousand miles, possibly because they’re the only people I’ve seen before. It also helps that they were actually focusing on the wrestling instead of the rapping and turf wars. I mean, it wasn’t particularly GOOD wrestling but I’ll take this over whatever messes I had to sit through in the first two matches.

People, outside, yelling, something about Red Cap (which may be Red Cafe), something about Uncle Murda and Brooklyn, that’s about it.

Kingston is in pain but promises that he’s not done with Homicide.

Now we go outside in the dark to see (kind of) three people talking about making money and Uncle Murda. A deal is made.

Bestia was beaten up by his own crew because he didn’t have Billy Blue’s money….and that’s it because the camera cuts away.

More people yell about turf and a drug deal might go down. This turns into a beating and someone is put into the trunk of a car. Someone (perhaps Creed or Dope from earlier) is beaten down and thrown into the trunk as well.

Two people talk to three other people and one of the three has a gun. The two run away and get into a car which speeds away. The three shoot at them to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. No I’m not failing it and the only reason is because it was shot well. The production values were actually strong here but I think you can understand everything else wrong here. I think I have a vague idea of what I was watching but if you’re not a big fan of rap/hip hop culture, you’re going to be incredibly lost.

Basically it’s a bunch of people from different cities fighting for money, power and eventually the UWF Title but I only figured that out by looking up a lot about this place while watching the show. This is the definition of someone getting some money and thinking a horrible idea might be entertaining. There’s really no reason for this to be a wrestling promotion and it clearly had a shelf life of about a day.  I didn’t even hate the show.  Instead I just wanted it to end, which is even worse when you think about it.

The promotion only ran five shows that I can find and honestly I’m stunned they lasted that long. This came off as stupid, catering to a fairly niche market and was basically a movie which had wrestling included. I get that there might be people who like this but I’m certainly not one of them. Bad show here and I’m stunned it lasted as long as it did.

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