USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 19, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Dave Brown

Here’s another show from this company and for some reason this one is significantly shorter, almost twenty minutes worth. I checked on the missing final fall from last week and from what I can tell, it didn’t ever happen due to the time limit running out. I’d expect some more in the Lawler/Dundee vs. Fabulous Ones feud. Let’s get to it.

Same opening video of last week, so I’m assuming that’s the standard one.

Here are the Fabs and Cornette to open things up. Cornette yells at the fans and says they don’t know what they want. The fans sound like they want Lawler. We get a clip of the beatdown from last week. Cornette talks about the bounty and has an announcement: they’ve already got the money for Gilbert being gone and there’s another $50,000 on the line for Jeff Jarrett, the new #2 contender to the world title. Cornette would keep talking but they have a match to win.

Tag Titles: Fabulous Ones vs. Cody Michaels/Jerry Lynn

Cornette says why not make it a title match. Michaels and Lane start things off with Lane being sent to the mat. Lane comes back with one of his own and it’s off to Keirn. Michaels grabs the arm and works on it as Keirn can’t shake him. Lynn comes in and does the same, taking him to the mat with an armdrag. The referee misses a challengers’ tag but lets it go anyway.

Michaels gets sent to the floor where Keirn drills him with a chair as the Fabs take over. Suplex puts Michaels down and it’s back to Keirn. Cody hooks a sunset flip but Cornette has the referee so it doesn’t even get a count. Tag to Lynn who slams Keirn and everything breaks down, missing a near fall on Keirn. Cornette gets a shot to the head of Lynn with the racket so Keirn can get the pin.

Rating: C. This was fine as throwing out a title match is a good way to keep things interesting. Even if it was pretty dominant for the Fabs, putting the titles on the line at least made it seem possible that something big could happen. Lynn was still good even when he was young, which is impressive. He looks about the same too.

Lynn gets beaten down post match until Lawler makes the save.

Clip of Jarrett winning the Southern Title on Monday with a rollup.

Here’s Downtown Bruno with the some guys and Robert Fuller. Fuller says he has a surprise for us later and one for us now in the form of U.S. Male Curtis Thompson. He has the American Pitbulls too whose names are so forgettable I couldn’t type them. Fuller talks about a dog or something with the moral being if you abuse something enough it’ll like it. That’s what he and his boys are going to do to everyone else here.

Pitbulls vs. Danny Davis/T.D. Steele

One of the Pitbulls is named Spike and he starts with Davis. Quickly off to Steele who is pretty aggressive. Off to the other Pitbull and I think these are the ECW Pitbulls. Yeah I’m pretty sure they are. Their hair is different but it’s them. This quickly turns into a Pitbulls squash with a double suplex taking Steele down. Belly to belly does the same and the SuperBomb (they slipped off the ropes) gets the pin.

Rating: D. This is the cool thing about watching these old territory shows: you never know what names are going to pop up for a quick appearance. This was a boring squash for the most part with Davis only being in there for about 20 seconds before the beating on Steele began and went on for the next minute and a half.

Mid-South Coliseum show ad.

Here’s Lawler to talk about his match tomorrow night (the show is on Sunday for some reason instead of Monday this time) which has something to do with the Fabulous Ones of course. He goes on a rant against managers, saying that they’re all leeches with no athletic ability. One day the Fabulous Ones will wake up and dump Cornette, but since Lawler is impatient he’ll take out Cornette himself. Jarrett will be in their corner for the title match tomorrow night.

Lawler leaves so Cornette and the Fabs come out to rant a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This wasn’t as good as last week’s show but there was still enough on it to make me want to keep watching. This company is so hit or miss for me but when they’re hitting, they’re a pretty solid TV show which keeps people interested from week to week. Considering how out there Memphis could get, that’s saying a lot.

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USWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 12, 1991
Location: USWA Television Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentator: Dave Brown

Back to Memphis for a few more shows. At the moment I have five straight shows from this period so things hopefully won’t be all that boring. I’ll be doing the first two here before we move back to WCW for some Nitro. I don’t know what to expect from these guys but they’re very hit or miss, so this is a roll of the dice. Let’s get to it.

The opening video with the statues and clips of Lawler gets us going.

Brown runs down the card.

A guy named Eddie Marlon, a suit, says that he got a call from Eddie Gilbert who has left the company. He was the Southern Heavyweight Champion so we’ll need a one night tournament.

We get a clip of the reunited Fabulous Ones winning the tag titles from Doug Gilbert and Tony Anthony. Cornette was managing them which fits very well with Stan Lane.

Fabulous Ones vs. Bill Rush/Sgt. O’Reilley

The Fabulous Ones come out to The Boys Are Back In Town which is a nice touch. Cornette runs his mouth on the floor and he’s fired up tonight. The perk of such a small place like the TV studio is you can hear individual fans so Cornette is having a ball trading insults with them. Lane starts with the Sarge and it’s clear we’re in squash territory here. Rush comes in and gets the same treatment. Keirn pins the Sarge with a plain forearm smash. Total squash.

Lawler comes out and says he’ll have the Fabs’ back like they’ll have his. Cornette gets behind Lawler and pops him with the racket, leading to a double team beatdown. They give him a spike piledriver on the concrete as women are SCREAMING. Lane puts on the crown as some wrestlers come out to protect Lawler. Cornette explains the story which has something to do with a $50,000 bounty and some group called the Memphis Mafia. They’re the ones that scared Gilbert off too.

They call Terry (presumably Funk) on the phone and say they’re 2 for 2 for $100,000. Marlon comes out and yells at Cornette, saying that Lawler will be back with a partner next week. Keirn talks about two years ago when Lawler set Keirn on fire while they were partners. Man you have to keep up with Memphis to know what’s going on at times. Cornette rants some more because that’s what Jim Cornette does. Long angle here but it worked.

Here’s Downtown Bruno, more famous as Harvey Whippleman.

Terry Garvin vs. Freezer Thompson

Well there was a guy named Refrigerator so why not Freezer? Bruno talks about reforming the Downtown Connection which I guess is his stable. Freezer is a very fat man and Terry throws him around with relative ease. This is a very slow squash as Garvin poses a lot in between each move. Garvin stops the comeback with a bulldog and wins with a spinning facejam called Sleeping Beauty.

Rating: D. This was a squash and a long one at that. Garvin looked fine but he was pretty average for the most part. He’s not the same Terry Garvin that was arrested for sexual harassment either. Freezer was a freaking load and Garvin said that he weighed 600lbs. I don’t think that’s really an exaggeration either.

House show ad. The way Memphis worked, there was a big show at the Mid-South Coliseum every Monday so TV was there just to set up those matches. There’s going to be a one night tournament for the Southern Title.

Marlon, who must be a boss of some kind, comes out and says Lawler has picked Bill Dundee to team with him against the Fabs. That’s a pretty stacked card.

Gilbert/Anthony, managed by Bruno come out and say they want the Fabulous Ones also. Apparently they’re the Memphis Mafia.

Call Jerry Lawler’s Hotline. Did anyone not have one of those in the 90s? You can call and leave him a message. And I’m sure he personally hears all of them right?

Danny Davis vs. Michael Green

This is OVW Danny Davis. Davis takes him to the mat with ease and rides on him a bit. Davis wins it quickly with a neckbreaker.

Davis talks about a fan’s revenge strap match he has on Monday with Joseph Magliano. Magliano comes out and says nothing of note.

House show ads.

Memphis Mafia vs. New Kids/Cody Michaels/Jerry Lynn

I have no idea who the New Kids are. This is an eight man tag. Michaels and Dirty White Boy (Tony Anthony) start things off. Michaels hip tosses all four Mafia members and they have a conference on the floor. Off to Doug Gilbert who is Mafia and Lynn who is blonde. Lynn looks very different than he usually does, but it’s mainly due to the bright blue trunks instead of his usual black tights.

Anthony slams him and it’s off to Gilbert again. Side slam puts Lynn down and the Mafia tags a lot. Magliano was in there for literally less than five seconds. Backdrop puts Lynn down and it’s off to Sam Lowe, who is part of the Mafia who wears jeans and a collared shirt. He seems to be a manager or something and walks into a sunset flip by Lynn for the surprise pin.

Rating: D+. Considering most of the people on the face side didn’t make the match, this wasn’t that good. Lynn hit a total of one move in the whole match but got the pin anyway. Nothing to see here but it came off like an upset. I still have no idea what the New Kids’ names are either, but they seem to be a pretty boy tag team.

Video on Jeff Jarrett, who would win the tournament on Monday. This is set to America the Beautiful of all things.

Apparently the eight man tag match is 2/3 falls. Then why did the winners go to the back? They left and no mention was made of a second fall. Ok then.

Lynn and Lowe start again and Lowe gets thrown around with ease. Off to Anthony and Brian of the New Kids. Is that Brian Christopher? Ok apparently it is and his partner in the New Kids is named Tony Williams. Got it. They double team Gilbert with an assisted splash for two. Off to Tony Anthony vs. Tony Williams. Magliano comes in to pound away a bit. Everything breaks down and Magliano rolls up Lynn with tights for the pin.

The Mafia leaves even though there’s a fall to go. The other team leaves too and yeah there’s going to be a third fall.

Brown recaps the show so far. He also talks about Monday’s show. Brown also recaps the story with Funk, (he mispronounces his name. Guess what he said on TV) which basically is that someone put a bounty on Lawler and Gilbert, the #2 and #1 contenders for the world title, held by Funk. Cornette cashed in on the bounty and the phone call was revealing who had put it out.

Video on Bill Dundee set to a song called Gypsies on Parade. We have less than four minutes left of TV time and there’s a fall to go in that match. But hey, let’s get this in. Make that three minutes as another verse begins.

Here’s Lawler who calls out Cornette and the Fabulous Ones, talking about how the bounty can’t be collected yet. He and Dundee are ready for Monday night.

Brown wraps up the show and talks about the Monday show again and that’s it. No mention of the tag match at all. Ok then. For a rating for the match, go with what I gave for the first fall as the second was too short to mean anything.

Overall Rating: C. This was entertaining enough but the missing third fall is going to bother me for some reason. Why they didn’t include it at all is beyond me and I want to know who won the match now. Other than that, the rest of the show was pretty good and we got a big angle with the Fabulous Ones turning. I liked this and I’ll be sticking around for more of it.

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Wrestlerock 1986
Date: April 20, 1986
Location: Metrodome, Minneapolis, Minnesota
Attendance: 23,000
Commentator: Ron Trongard

I hate you. I hate you all. This is another request because SOME IDIOT had to put the Wrestlerock Rumble video up on WrestleZone. This is the show that it was advertising. It’s another of the AWA’s stadium supershows which usually wound up sucking but why would that stop them from keeping them up? There are three cage matches to close the show so you know it’s going to be….different. Let’s get to it.

No real intro here, as is the custom on these big shows.

Brad Rheingans vs. Boris Zhukov

Boris is the same character from WWF and Brad is a former Olympian power lifter. This is going to be a power match and probably not a very good one. They exchange tests of strength to start with neither guy being able to get much of an advantage. Ok scratch that as Brad does pretty easily. Before I forget again: WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE??? There are allegedly over 20,000 people there but my goodness they did a bad job of putting them on the camera side. There might be more empty seats visible that full ones.

This is your standard power match: Brad shoves him around, Boris runs, Brad shoves him around some more, Boris runs some more. Zhukov heads to the floor and comes back to get in a knee and RUSSIA POWER takes over. That more or less concludes the interesting part of the match because Boris Zhukov is a very boring wrestler. He’s slow, he’s bald, he’s Russian. That sums up about half the heels in America at this point. Naturally since this is a big show’s opening match, Brad makes his comeback and hits his fisherman’s suplex for the pretty easy pin.

Rating: D+. The American winning over the EVIL Soviet is always a surefire way to get a crowd going and this did so for the most part. Not a good match by any means, but for about five minutes long and an opening match, what exactly were you looking for? For a power guy though, a fisherman’s suplex is a strange pick for a finisher.

Little Tokyo/Lord Littlebrook vs. Little Mr. T./Cowboy Lang

Great. Midgets. Tokyo and Lang start us off and it’s time for a headlock. Off to Littlebrooke and it’s time for an armbar. They go to a wide shot and oh my goodness that’s a stupid idea. Back to Tokyo as Lang is getting beaten down even more. Here’s a chinlock for rest hold #3 in less than 150 seconds. Lang escapes and it’s off to Little Mr. T. This is a few weeks after WM 2 and I’m sure Mr. T. being on that show is just a coincidence right?

T. does something and Trongard says look at that. Naturally that’s as we go wide to which you can only see shapes in the ring instead of what they’re doing. There goes the referee because this is a midget match. Things calm down and we have Littlebrook vs. T. There’s ANOTHER chinlock as this is going way too long. The midgets argue and this is going nowhere.

Tokyo accidentally hits Littlebrook as people are going off to get food and drinks. Lang is in and we get a crisscross. Back to T. vs. Littlebrook for another headlock. It’s clear they have no idea what to do here to fill in time because MIDGET MATCHES SHOULDN’T GO TEN MINUTES. There’s an airplane spin for both heels and the rowboat spot. Oh and the referee pile on. Lang hooks a rollup on Littlebrook for the pin, thank goodness.

Rating: F. A midget tag team match ran ten minutes and had at least 5 rest holds. What kind of a grade did you expect me to give this? Not a good match at all and the usual midget spots that you’ve seen a dozen times, none of which have made people laugh in years. Moving on.

There are a lot of “local celebrities” introduced here, usually between each match. I’m not going to bother listing them because I don’t know who they are, most likely you don’t know who they are, and I don’t really care. For instance, this one is a local horse owner. See what I mean? Almost all of them get to be guest ring announcers. That’s the show’s gimmick.

Colonel DeBeers vs. Wahoo McDaniel

We have a white supremacist vs. an American Indian. This can’t end well. DeBeers actually TWIRLS HIS MUSTACHE. We have a real villain here people. The Colonel works on the arm, then Wahoo works on the arm. Now DeBeers works on the arm. I think out of boredom, Wahoo chops at him to break it up. Colonel comes back with a knee to the head and some kicks. Coming back in they slug it out with McDaniel on the apron. Back in Wahoo goes on the warpath and throws him to the floor. Back in again and Wahoo throws him over the top for the FREAKING LAME DQ.

Rating: F+. It was somehow better than the midget match. Think about that for a minute. This was five minutes of two old guys hitting each other after some arm work and then a stupid DQ ending to it. This was horrible and the show is off to a very bad start. When a basic American vs. Soviet match is by far the best match of the night after three of them, things aren’t starting well at all.

They brawl on the floor post match in a far better sequence than they had in the match.

Go buy stuff from the souvenir stand! You can get cassettes of the WrestleRock Rumble! For those unfamiliar, that’s a wrestling version of the Super Bowl Shuffle with wrestlers “rapping” lyrics. It’s horrible.

Doug Somers and Buddy Rose are going to beat those pests the Midnight Rockers and then get the tag titles.

Doug Somers/Buddy Rose vs. Midnight Rockers

This is on Shawn Michaels: My Journey. Somers/Rose have Sherri Martel with them. Rose does his traditional thing of “it’s 217lbs, not 271lbs.” Rose and Jannetty start us off with Rose doing push-ups. Wait, still not ready for the match as Rose does a front flip and wants Jannetty to do the same. Marty tags Shawn who moonsaults in and tells Rose to do that. Rose goes up….and comes back down. Naturally they’re wasting time on a match like this which is probably going to be the best match of the show. Rose tries it AGAIN and crotches himself.

Somers and Shawn FINALLY lock up to keep us from dying of boredom. Shawn controls with an armdrag and dropkicks Somers down and it’s off to Rose. Rose tries to speed things up and I think Shawn is all cool with that, as he armdrags him down with ease. Off to Marty who jumps in and hammers down onto the arm. Rose goes for the eyes and brings in Somers who is armdragged right back down. Marty avoids a charge and Doug’s arm goes into the post.

Back to Shawn and both of them grab an arm on Somers. Back to Rose vs. Shawn and Buddy cartwheels (impressive given that gut) to avoid a monkey flip. Marty comes in and does exactly what Buddy did. We’re five minutes into this somehow. Time for Shawn again and the arm work continues. He hooks an arm stretch but Buddy gets up onto his feet to escape the pressure. Marty smacks him in the head and Rose is down again. Not a good night for them so far.

Shawn flies around even more and it’s back to Marty to drop a knee on the arm. Knee lift gets two for Shawn. FINALLY Michaels gets caught in a slingshot into the corner and Somers belts him in the face to take over. Jumping back elbow gets two for Rose. Off to Somers who whips Shawn into the corner hard.

Shawn comes back with a suplex to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Marty who cleans house and gets his own two off his own jumping back elbow. Powerslam gets three but the foot was on the rope. Everything breaks down and the Rockers are in control. Marty goes up for something but Somers crotches him which lets Rose pin him. Sherri pushed his foot off the ropes too.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match at all here, despite the goofy stuff to start. The arm work probably went on too long but the match itself wasn’t half bad. The ending could have used a bit more but for a big house show and the fourth match on the card, this wasn’t that bad. Sherri screwing over Shawn is kind of interesting given their future.

Somers and Rose say they’re innocent.

More “celebrities”, this one being the AD for the University of Minnesota.

Buck Zumhofe says nothing of note. Granted that might be because of the REALLY BIG FREAKING BOOM BOX he’s carrying.

Buck Zumhofe vs. Tiger Mask

This should be….different. I think it’s Misawa at this point but I’m not sure. Trongard has never seen him before so his usual horrible commentary is going to be even worse here. They go to the mat quickly with Buck grabbing an armbar. That hold is used WAY too much in this company. They exchange control of the arm and we get a standoff. Zumhofe is your classic guy who wasn’t big enough to be a heavyweight but didn’t have the speed to be a typical cruiserweight. Tiger Mask on the other hand is a master at it.

They go back to grappling and it ends in a spinning toehold by Buck as he works on the leg. This goes on for awhile, because Heaven forbid they have fast guys go to the air. That might get people interested in the show. Off to a Boston Crab which works on the back after Zumhofe spent all the time working on the knee. Eh close enough I guess. That doesn’t last long and Tiger dropkicks him down for two.

Back to the arm (oh boy!) for Tiger as he controls with an armbar after a decent wrestling sequence. A cross body and suplex get four combined which is somehow less than three in wrestling. Zumhofe goes after the mask but can’t get it off because he’s Buck Zumhofe and going after Tiger Mask’s mask. Buck goes into control by ramming Tiger’s face into the mat twice. Well you can’t say he’s overdoing it. Abdominal stretch now to really crank this up. They go to the floor and Tiger hits a nice plancha to take Buck out. Back in Mask slams him down and hits something like a Swanton Bomb for the pin.

Rating: C-. It’s not bad but at the same time Zumhofe was really boring. This would be Tiger Mask toned WAY down which isn’t using his talents as well as they could and/or should be used. Pretty dull match but it could have been FAR worse. Again, somehow this is the second best match of the night thus far and that can’t be a good thing.

The Governor of Minnesota declares it Verne Gagne Day. Not AWA Day or anything, but Verne Gagne Day.

Barry Windham and Rotunda (acknowledged as former WWF Tag Champions) say they’re ready for the Fabulous Ones.

Fabulous Ones vs. Barry Windham/Mike Rotunda

The Fabulous Ones are Steve (Skinner) Keirn and Sweet Stan Lane. The guest announcer here is another radio guy which is the case with the vast majority of them. Windham vs. Lane starts things off. The crowd has filled in a lot and it looks much better. Feeling out process to start as Barry grabs a headlock. This is back when Windham was awesome and in shape so he’s fun to watch.

Off to Rotunda and the arm work (I’m as shocked as you are) begins. Lane tries to escape a hammerlock but gets kneed in the arm instead. Back to Barry who cranks on the arm some more. Off to Keirn who is armdragged right back down. Back to Mike who works a top wristlock. Barry comes in quickly for a chinlock. Keirn tries a leapfrog but gets punched in the face for his efforts. You can’t say Barry is over complicating things.

Windham/Rotunda hit a double dropkick and Keirn is in trouble. Mike misses a corner charge and the heels take over. Things break down quickly but Rotunda can’t make a tag. After a long beating by Lane it’s back to Keirn. Lane comes in for a neckbreaker but misses an elbow. There’s the tag to Barry after a short heat segment. Powerslam gets two on Stan.

The Ones cheat again and Barry gets caught in a chinlock. We’re ten minutes into this and it hasn’t really kicked into high gear yet, which is a shame given what you have to work with here. Barry grabs a small package on Lane for two. Off to Rotunda who speeds things up and gets two on Lane. There’s an airplane spin for two. Lane backdrops him and sets for a piledriver but Barry comes off the top with an elbow to the back of the head, giving Rotunda the pin.

Rating: C. Not a great match or anything here but it was ok I guess. They never cranked this up as high as they could and that really hurt it. Also the lack of any reason for these teams or wrestlers in any match for that matter to want to fight each other is really bringing things down. If they don’t care, why should I care?

The Attorney General of Minnesota is here. Even for a local politician, why would I care about that?

Bulldog Bob Brown vs. Giant Baba

Baba is a guy I’m sure you’ve heard of and Brown is a Central States mainstay who just isn’t that good but was popular in his territory. For some reason he’s billed as a former champion (with 18 total reigns) but based on what I can find, he was champion at this point. Brown hooks a headlock to start, which is really awkward because Brown is about 6’0 tall and Baba is about Kane’s height.

Baba works on the arm but Brown rakes the eye to get out of it. Brown goes for the leg which fails completely. Baba takes him to the mat with a headscissors and works on the arm. The fans don’t care at all here. Brown hammers on him but Baba comes back with some chops. This is REALLY slow paced as they’re stopping every few seconds. A big boot puts Brown on the mat and a chop sets up a Russian legsweep which looked awful. Another big boot gets the pin.

Rating: F. This was HORRIBLE. It was slow, it was awkward, Baba wrestles nothing like a giant, and the fans had no idea who these guys were. That was the big issue with this match: it’s a Japanese guy vs. a Central States guy in front of an AWA crowd. Why would the people care at all about this match? They didn’t, and I can’t blame them at all. The match sucked too.

The GM of a TV station is introduced. Not an on air personality mind you, but the boss that NO ONE EVER SEES.

Harley Race wants an AWA Title shot.

Harley Race vs. Rick Martel

This is billed as former champion vs. former champion, which sounds SO exciting doesn’t it? Race grabs a headlock to start as is his custom but Martel whips him in and it’s time for an armbar. This is so common in this company I can’t believe it. That doesn’t last long as Race whips him in and RACE LEAPFROGS MARTEL. And I thought I had seen everything. Martel doesn’t know what to do so naturally, it’s an armdrag into an armbar.

Race takes him down again as neither guy can get a real advantage here. Headbutt sets up a chinlock which isn’t something the people seem all that interested in seeing at this point. Yep there are the boring chants. Martel gets up and there’s armbar #3 five minutes into the match. Race’s counter this time? Slam his head into Martel’s. Well you can’t say he’s not using his head. I’ll give you a minute to roll your eyes at how lame that joke was.

Powerslam gets two for Race but Martel escapes a suplex and throws on a sleeper. Does this guy know ANYTHING besides rest holds? Race rams him into the buckle and hits a neckbreaker to put Rick down. Harley goes up (not as bizarre as you would expect) but gets slammed off. Well his last major feud was with Flair so that probably has something to do with it. They slug it out a bit which should result in pain bruises and agony for Martel but instead he grabs a headlock. Martel hits a backbreaker and slingshot splash for two, which Trongard says Martel debuted five years ago in 1983. Check the date on the show.

Anyway after that warping of time and space, Race headbutts and piledrives him for two. Elbow drop gets two and it’s off to the chinlock. Race sends him into the corner and Martel tries a cross body out of the corner, but Race just casually steps to the side, ala Samoa Joe. After a brief slugout, Martel whips Race into the corner and out to the floor, but it’s not a DQ due to whatever alteration they want to make this time.

Suplex gets two for Rick back in. Shoulderbreaker and neckbreaker get two for Race. They collide and Race is knocked to the floor. He always was great at taking that backwards fall. Back in another piledriver is countered into a gutwrench suplex for two by Martel. Now Rick goes after the knee for some reason. After some knees to the leg it’s off to a leg hold but Race uses his head (as always) to escape. Race pounds on him in the corner but has his suplex countered. A splash by Martel eats knees and they go to the floor off a slam attempt. They brawl even more and it’s a double countout, two minutes before the time limit.

Rating: C+. Pretty decent match here but again the problem is that there’s no story to this. That being said, they were getting close to overcoming that with some solid back and forth stuff. At the end of the day, it’s Harley Race going 18 minutes so the match by default has to be pretty good. Martel was a WAY bigger deal in the AWA than in the WWF.

Women’s Battle Royal

There are ten girls in this and only three mean anything: Sherri Martel, Luna Vachon (didn’t mean anything yet) and Candi Divine, who was awful but was popular in the AWA. She’s also Women’s Champion here. I have no idea who most of these women are. They’re blondes in spandex. Someone is thrown out and I can’t hear Capetta, nor do I particularly care to know.

Trongard and Capetta keep calling Luna Leona by mistake. Or by lack of intelligence, I’m not sure which. Two more go out but they’re not important enough to announce. Somehow we got down to six. Luna (NOT LEONA) is gone. I think a Greek chick powerbombs Divine but it’s not important enough to talk about. The Greek chick is out and we’re down to Martel, Debbie Combs, Candi Divine and some chick that Trongard doesn’t bother naming. Divine misses a charge and we’re down to three. Her name is Joyce Grable. Ok then. Martel is knocked under the ropes, Combs throws out Grable and Martel sneaks in to steal the win.

Rating: F. I didn’t know half of the names in this. That should tell you everything you need to know.

Sherri gets fifty grand and Rose/Somers want the tag titles.

Ten minute intermission, because this show needs to be LONGER.

We’re only halfway through the card. See what I’m putting up with?

AWA America’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Kamala

Slaughter is champion and is WAY over. He’s pretty much the most popular guy in the company, which is why he never got the world title. I mean, Heaven forbid the fans decide who the top guy is. That’s one thing that needs to be remembered about the AWA: yes Vince took a lot of their talent, but it was Gagne that screwed up a lot of stuff. If he had just given the title to Hogan like the people were SCREAMING for, Hogan wouldn’t have left.

Oh yeah the match. As usual with Kamala matches, he uses REALLY boring offense like you would see from any fat guy, including but not limited to chops, something resembling punches, shots to the throat, and a stomach claw. Slaughter makes his comeback, Kamala hits him some more, Slaughter Cannon, Kim Chee runs in for the DQ. Short and nothing of note at all.

Hall and Hennig say they’ll keep the titles.

Tag Titles: Scott Hall/Curt Hennig vs. Long Riders

The Long Riders are a biker team who ride in on their motorcycles. Hall gets an award for being popular pre match. The champions won the titles in Albuquerque apparently, which is nowhere near the AWA territory, so I’m going to bet that match didn’t happen. Also the regular AWA ring announcer, Larry Nelson, is now sitting in on commentary with Trongard. The Long Riders are Scott “Hog” Irwin and Wild Bill Irwin.

Hall starts with Scott (for this match, Scott will only be used for Scott Irwin. Scott Hall will only be called Hall) as we hear about the Long Riders being made to wear wrestling gear. Apparently their biker gear has been used for EVIL and has therefore been banned. Nothing goes on here so the partners both tag off. Hennig hits a HUGE dropkick on the future Goon and we head to the floor for a chase scene. Back to Hall as the champions have been in total control the whole time so far.

Bill manages to take Hall to the mat for about two full seconds but the more famous one grabs an armbar to take over. Off to Hennig and the beating continues. Dropkick gets two as we’re five minutes in. Curt and Bill slug it out and Hennig superkicks him down for two. Bill misses a charge and an elbow drop so Hennig grabs a headlock. They get up and do a weird sequence where they’re both on their stomachs and Curt crawls at him as Bill backpedals to the floor.

Test of strength now and Hennig kind of suplexes him over for two. The Riders take over on Curt with some double teaming. They draw in Hall for some lame double teaming as we’re at ten minutes into this. More double teaming which is mainly just assisted choking. Curt avoids an elbow drop and it’s off to Hall. House is cleaned and noggins are knocked but it’s back to Hennig. Everything breaks down and Curt is sent to the floor. It doesn’t really matter though as Hall goes to the floor with Scott, allowing a missile dropkick from Hennig to retain the titles.

Rating: C-. Not bad here as there was a formula and an idea here, but the execution wasn’t that great. The Riders were a pretty weak team but it could have been far worse. Hennig was a huge deal in the AWA and would hold the world title for over a year starting in May of 87. Decent match but nothing all that great. It’s a big upgrade on the majority of the show though.

Scott hits Hennig with a boot post match. The champions complain about that for awhile.

Larry Zbyszko vs. Scott LeDoux

LeDoux was a legit boxer before becoming a referee and wrestler in the AWA. This is under “European” rules, which means they wear gloves and we have ten two minute rounds. Larry Hennig, Curt’s papa, is the referee for no apparent reason. It’s really closer to boxing than wrestling but it’s the AWA so I doubt they knew what it was supposed to be. They tease hitting each other for a bit until LeDoux grabs a full nelson. Larry escapes and Scott (what is with that name being so popular in this company?) unloads on him with punches, sending Larry to the floor.

This is actually closer to MMA (kind of almost sort of) than boxing or wrestling but whatever. Larry chills with his ninja (don’t ask) for a bit as we’re probably about halfway through the first round. LeDoux gets into a boxing stance so Larry bails to the apron. I’m shocked too. Larry picks the leg and goes to the mat which is smart. Round 1 ends with Larry in control.

Off to round 2 and Larry gets on one knee. He gets up and hits a spinning kick to the ribs. Larry climbs on his back which doesn’t work at all as LeDoux pounds on the ribs with elbows. Armdrag by Larry into an armbar but LeDoux punches him in the face. Larry pounds him in the corner and slams him for no cover. Zbyszko pounds on him to end the round.

Round 3 begins with Scott’s eye swelling shut. Larry takes him to the mat and hooks a front chancery. For the first time we’re told you win by pin or knockout. Decisions are still a gray area. Larry POUNDS HIM with punches and a kick to the ribs. Back to the mat and Larry is totally dominating him.

Round 4 starts with Larry missing a kick and LeDoux gets in a flurry to take over. For no apparent reason he grabs Larry and rams him into the corner. There’s a slam and Larry is reeling. The fans aren’t that thrilled but you can’t please everyone. They’re both getting gassed here but LeDoux clocks Larry to end the round but the bell saves him.

Larry starts round 5 bleeding and gets knocked to the floor….where he rams LeDoux into the post for the DQ 5 seconds into the round.

Rating: C-. I liked it but it wasn’t great. As usual with this show, I have no idea why they were fighting because the announcers are too busy telling us that the AWA is a national company to give us a simple story. The match was entertaining though which is really all you can ask for in something like this. Good stuff and thankfully they kept it fast paced. If this was just boxing, it would have been a disaster.

Post match LeDoux wants to kill Larry and the fans are into this for once. The Ninja jumps Scott and Larry (the referee, who did NOTHING in this match) makes the save.

LeDoux wants a rematch.

AWA World Title: Stan Hansen vs. Nick Bockwinkel

Hansen is the champion and evil here. He runs over Nelson for no apparent reason. Hansen normally works for Baba in Japan but is here as champion to give the AWA a boost. They immediately go to the floor with Hansen pounding away. Nelson immediately turns into a super Bockwinkel fan as Nick makes a brief comeback. Hansen kicks him in the face and hooks a chinlock. This is looking wild so far.

Elbow drop gets two for the champion. Bockwinkel takes over on the arm and now Stan is in trouble. Nick tries to fight back with some right hands but they get him nowhere. A sunset flip gets two as the cameraman drops the camera. Off to an armbar as Trongard tells us how great the AWA is. I haven’t mentioned it that often but he says it more often than Cole plugs Twitter. They slug it out, naturally won by Stan, and it’s time for another chinlock.

Trongard spends the entire hold on a speech about how second best isn’t acceptable in the AWA and how they have the best. YOU JUST SAID THAT TEN SECONDS AGO!!! Nick tries to come back and grabs a sleeper, one of his finishers. Hansen gets to a rope though and they fall to the floor. They slug it out a bit out there but then go back inside to punch each other (HARD) some more.

Hansen outsmarts Nick (hard to do) by suckering him into a stun gun for two. Nick blocks a suplex into one of his own for two. It gets two so Nelson says almost only counts in drive-in movies. I think I get what he means there and I don’t think I want to know if I’m right. The referee gets bumped so Bockwinkel’s slam only gets no cover. Crossbody gets the same. Piledriver gets two…and then Hansen backdrops him over the top for the LAME DQ.

Rating: B-. Why am I not surprised? This match was starting to get good and then never mind, because we need to have a screwy finish. As usual, the idea here is simple: give them something to fight over in the form of the title and have two talented guys in there and you’ll get a good match. Bockwinkel would get the title later on when Hansen said screw this nonsense and went to Japan full time.

They brawl post match until Bockwinkel chases him off with a chair. Nick says he used to cheat to keep the title but it’s not fair here.

There’s another intermission to set up the cage.

Now the last three matches are in a cage, but for some reason on the tape they’re out of order. This is in the order that they air on the tape.

Nord the Barbarian/King Kong Brody vs. Jimmy Snuka/Greg Gagne

A few notes here: Snuka is a mystery partner subbing for Jerry Blackwell (that’s for the better, trust me), this match originally went on second of the three cage matches, King Kong Brody is Bruiser Brody because of some legit complaint from Dick the Bruiser, and if Snuka/Gagne win, Verne gets 10 minutes in the cage with Sheik Adnan-Al Kaissie. This is announced as the main event, even though there could be more stuff after it. Oh and Nord the Barbarian is just called Barbarian and is more famous as the Berzerker.

Snuka gets zero fanfare at all. Gagne looks like a 1996 version of Chavo Guerrero. They have to tag here so the match is automatically dropped a few notches. Gagne starts with Brody. Greg gets in a few punches but Brody kicks him in the face, making Gagne look like he got shot. Off to Barbarian who gets punched back into his own corner. Off to Snuka for a death defying chinlock.

The match slows way down as Brody comes in and knocks Snuka down. Then they stand around. Then they stand around some more. Snuka does his leapfrogs but Brody knocks him right back down. Off to Gagne and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it makes the match way better. If nothing else he sells everything like death which is usually a cool thing to see.

Greg gets rammed into the cage to bust him open. Good piledriver by Brody gets two. Nelson turns into an annoying fanboy again but Gagne’s comeback is shortlived. He manages to send Nord into the cage and there’s the hot tag (with a pop) to Snuka. Off to Brody who is busted open. He yells a lot as Snuka hammers away on him.

Snuka gets in Superfly position but hits a headbutt instead. Nord interferes and Snuka is in trouble again. Everything breaks down and the heels get rammed into each other. Double dropkick puts Nord down and a double suplex does the same to Brody. Snuka rams into Gagne by mistake, but Snuka gets up and dropkicks Nord who trips over Gagne and gets pinned.

Rating: D. Oh boy did they screw this up. First of all, WHERE IS THE SUPERFLY SPLASH??? You bring in Jimmy Snuka and he doesn’t even hit the move he’s legendary for in the kind of match he’s legendary for hitting it in? Second, there was way too much heel control here. The idea is supposed to be faces control to start, Gagne opens, tag to Snuka for more dominance, back to Gagne, Gagne gets beaten down, hot tag, finish.

Instead it was faces control, heels control, faces comeback, faces screw up, faces steal a win. The problem is that it doesn’t allow the fans to build up momentum. This match had the pieces of a decent match, but they were all in the wrong order which is what made it hard to stay invested in. Also the lack of a splash hurt it a lot.

Verne Gagne vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissie

This has a backstory actually. The Sheik and his men broke Verne’s ribs….two years ago. They go in and Sheik automatically tries to run. Gagne slams him and Sheik’s belt is taken off. Not that it matters because the referee throws it away. Verne rams him into the cage and Sheik is busted BAD. For someone that is in a revenge match, Verne is standing around a lot. Backdrop sets up a sleeper but the Sheik breaks it up quickly. Sheik takes over but his slam is countered into a small package for the pin.

Rating: D-. Uh……WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT??? This was like 4 minutes long which is fine, but A SMALL PACKAGE IN A MATCH BASED ON REVENGE??? This should have been Verne destroying him but instead it was like two cage shots, some punches and a small package. I don’t get this at all and it was boring on top of that. Terribly stupid match.

Gagne retires again post match.

Road Warriors vs. Freebirds

Thank goodness this is the last match. This actually took place before the other tag two cage matches, but Verne had to go on last on the real card. The tape version makes him seem more humble at least. This is Hayes/Garvin. Hawk and Hayes get things going. Hayes immediately hits a piledriver which is of course no sold. Let the pain begin. Hayes goes into the cage a few times and he’s busted quickly.

Gorilla press to Hayes and Hawk drops a right hand. Garvin runs away from a tag so Hayes tries to climb out. Hawk goes up top as well and Michael is knocked to the floor. Garvin finally gets the tag and he’s tentative at best. Why no Animal yet? Oh there he is, for a TEN REP gorilla press. Now Hayes runs from the tag.

And never mind as he comes in a few seconds alter. Hayes gets in a few shots but Hawk runs him over quickly. He bites the cut on Hayes’ head because Hawk is a little nuts. Garvin comes in to pound on him and it’s back to Hayes for a figure four. Hawk easily breaks it and it’s back to Garvin, whose offense is shrugged off. Not hot tag to Animal and everything breaks down. Hayes pulls out some brass knuckles but he hits Garvin by mistake so Animal gets the easy pin.

Rating: D. According to the announcer that gives the Warriors revenge for something, but again it’s not important enough to tell us about. This was about as dominant of a match as you can see without it being a squash. The Birds never had a chance but they were against the Road Warriors so that shouldn’t be a shock. The Warriors left the AWA after this match.

That ends the show, but because I have no regard for my own sanity, I’ll thrown in a look at the music video namesake of this show: the WrestleRock Rumble. The idea is a music video of the roster “rapping”, because that fits in so well with the them of WrestleROCK. It’s supposed to be in the vein of the SuperBowl Shuffle from the Chicago Bears. This is going to be painful so let’s get it over with.

We open with Hall and Hennig getting out of a pool wearing Speedos. This isn’t going to be pretty is it? They want the Long Riders and “rhyme” about it, then the girls shove them into the pool. An interviewer raps and some Playboy chick says nothing of note. I’m better at rapping than the Rockers I believe. The Sheik sounds as stereotypical as possible. Blackwell, a fat country boy, is shown crushing a board.

Greg Gagne sounds like he smoked five packs a day. We see the same Hennig/Hall segment that started this nightmare. Amazingly enough, Zbyszko’s and Bockwinkel’s are the least bad. They’re not good, but they could have been a lot worse. LeDoux looks like he wants to die. Verne reads his rap, which is kind of funny. And that’s it. It’s terribly corny but it could have been MUCH worse. Again though, why call it a rap when the show has the word ROCK in the name? On top of that, country singer Waylon Jennings had a mini concert after the show. Even the AWA had no idea what they were doing here.

Overall Rating: D-. I won’t call it a failure, because there are some parts of a watchable show in here. The problem is they needed A LOT of stuff fixed here. First of all, cut this down from the over FOUR HOUR run time this already had down to about two hours and forty five minutes. Shave out the midget match and two to three more and it’s a far less uninteresting show.

Second, give us some reasons to watch these matches. This was a recurring problem in the AWA: there were no stories to back up these matches. The only one mentioned was Verne having broken ribs from a few years ago, which is a stretch but it’s better than nothing. There’s no reason to watch this show as the AWA was flying off a cliff at this point, but the matches for the most part aren’t horrible. They’re very boring, but they’re not horrible. Overall it’s not the worst show I’ve ever seen and there are definitely much worse ones, but there’s no appeal here at all.

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UWF Championship Wrestling
Date: March 7, 1987
Location: Tulsa Convention Center, Tulsa, Oklahoma
Commentators: Jim Ross, Bill Watts

This is still Mid-South, but under another name and several years later than I’ve been looking at. Crockett would buy out Watts the following month but the company would survive until the end of the year when it was basically written off while the top talent (namely Sting and a few others) would be incorporated into the NWA). Let’s get to it.

We open with a clip from last week with Michael Hayes and Sunshine putting Dark Journey in a small cage.

Watts talks about his sons being engaged or something. Also his son Erik is going to play college football.

Ken Massey vs. Sam Houston

Houston controls with a headlock and Massey hooks an armbar. Houston wakes up and the reverse bulldog ends this quick.

Wild Bill Irwin/Eli vs. Ted DiBiase/Iceman King Parsons

Irwin and Eli are part of Devastation Inc and they disagree with DiBiase coming out to Born in the USA. DiBiase promises to take the UWF Title off of One Man Gang and leave Akbar bloodied. Parsons might have joined Devastation Inc. but Parsons tells DiBiase to chill. Eli jumps DiBiase and Parsons just lets him do it. Parsons walks off so it’s a handicap match. Steve Cox comes out to be DiBiase’s partner as he’s getting beaten down two on one.

Wild Bill Irwin/Eli vs. Ted DiBiase/Steve Cox

DiBiase is in trouble as Irwin pounds away on him. Irwin misses a charge and DiBiase makes the diving tag to Steve Cox. Everything breaks down and Devastation Inc. is knocked to the floor, making them walk out for a countout.

Eddie Gilbert and Sting have a tag title shot tonight but Eddie says they should be given the titles because the titles were stolen in the first place. Missy Hyatt runs her mouth and good night her voice was annoying. Sting says they’ve been used and abused. It’s so weird seeing him as a heel.

Here’s a video on the Dallas Times-Herald that has been promoting the company. There are free posters in the paper every Sunday with the final one being the Freebirds. That’s kind of cool.

JR talks to King Parsons who goes on a big rant about how it’s DiBiase’s problem and it was his fault. Parsons speaks a lot of jive. This is about Chris Adams and a tournament that Parsons walked out on apparently. They were in the tag title tournament finals and Parsons walked out. They had feuded for about ten years and this is something about Adams being a legit convict. There’s someone named Savannah Jack who Parsons calls an Uncle Tom. He has a jailbird shirt for Adams too. Parsons has a very annoying voice. He has a bag of Oreos too.

Bobby Perez vs. Buddy Jack Roberts

After Bobby’s intro we see the UWF Top Ten. Roberts pounds him into the corner and puts Perez’s face into all the buckles. A few knee drops set up a legdrop and Perez is sent to the outside. A bulldog ends this.

Dark Journey wants to be in the small cage (the Penalty Box) with Sunshine. Hayes and Roberts come out to hold Dark Journey so that Sunshine can put something from a jar onto Journey. Missing Link and Chavo Guerrero run out for the save. Journey gets the jar but Missy runs in to hit Dark Journey. Missy gets the jar and leaves with Sting and Gilbert.

Kenny Johnson vs. Steve Cox

Cox is Steve Williams’ protege and a former football player so JR snaps off a bunch of stats and names that most people don’t care about. Cox hits a powerslam and side Russian legsweep for the quick pin to stay undefeated.

Dark Journey is with Chavo and Missing Link. This is clearly earlier on as Journey is in a totally different outfit and accepts the penalty box match. They talk about the cream but don’t know what it is.

Tag Titles: Eddie Gilbert/Sting vs. Terry Taylor/Chris Adams

Taylor and Adams are defending. Sting is in street clothes for some reason. Gilbert says Sting has torn his bicep so a guy named Mike Boyette is replacing him for one night. Eddie and Taylor start us off and here’s King Parsons for no apparent reason. The match starts and he jumps on the mic to say hang on a second. He calls out Adams as a jailbird and a sucker, which draws Adams out of the ring. Ok so now back to the match.

It’s Gilbert vs. Taylor still and now off to Adams who throws Gilbert around. Boyette comes in as does Taylor and the heels take over on him. Neckbreaker gets two for Gilbert as does a suplex. Taylor manages to tag as does Gilbert and we’re out of time. The credits roll but Adams hits a quick superkick to retain. I’m not rating it due to the length that we actually saw, since most of the match was the Parsons thing.

Overall Rating: C. It’s not a bad show but I certainly prefer the earlier ones. The world champion didn’t appear for some reason and while the stories here make sense, they’re nothing incredibly interesting. You have DiBiase as a top guy but he’d be gone soon. The company probably wouldn’t have died anytime soon though, as it was at least entertaining. I’ve never gotten the appeal of Eddie Gilbert though.

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SuperClash 1985
Date: April 20, 1985
Location: Comiskey Park, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 21,000
Commentator: Larry Nelson

Some of you might remember me talking about SuperClash III which was Lawler vs. Von Erich for the “unified” title. This is the original in the series and it’s one of those Pro Wrestling USA shows. In other words, the other companies (AWA/Crockett in this case) are banding together in a mostly futile attempt to fight off Vince because those national companies are evil so we need to join up into a national company to stop it. The main event is Magnum vs. Flair for the title in what should have been the main event of Starrcade 1986. Let’s get to it.

Nelson and Gagne welcome us to the show.

AWA Light Heavyweight Title: Steve Regal vs. Brad Rheingans

Regal is defending and is the heel. Brad is an Olympic weightlifter. Both guys are interviewed by Nelson on the way to the ring. Regal of course isn’t the British version. His name is Mr. Electricity, which would be a great gimmick for today’s Regal for the camp value if nothing else. There are a few rows of fans at ringside in bleachers (and by a few I mean about four) so it looks like there are about 200 people here. Then they go wide and you see 20,000 so it’s not so bad.

Brad easily overpowers him to start and controls with a headlock. Regal has been champion for over a year and a half. He works on the arm but Brad avoids a charge and works on Regal’s arm. In a really bad looking spot, Brad dropkicks him and the feet hit Regal, but Regal doesn’t move and Brad acts like he missed it. A bad looking clothesline by Regal results in more bad selling. This is really missing but it’s not completely horrible.

Off to a chinlock by the champ which is probably a good idea here as they need to collect their heads. It’s strange to see a power man in there fighting for a lighter title. We’re five minutes in and Regal might have cheated to keep his chinlock. Regal lets him up and drops a middle rope elbow. Another attempt at one hits mat and both guys are down. Brad starts his comeback with a backdrop for two. Atomic drop looks for a pin but Jimmy Garvin distracts the referee, allowing Regal to get a rollup to retain.

Rating: D. This one wasn’t really bad but it came and went and that’s about it. It’s not a good match and it’s not interesting either. This is one of those light heavyweight matches where it’s a match of regular wrestlers who weigh under a certain limit. They don’t wrestle any differently and it makes for a pretty dull match.

Regal says he didn’t cheat.

AWA Women’s Title: Sherri Martel vs. Candi Devine

Devine is defending. Rheingans jumps Regal before the match starts. Sherri stalls before the match and won’t let the referee pat her down for weapons. To be fair she’s wearing a form fitting one piece swimsuit so where would she hide them? Devine grabs a top wristlock but Sherri pulls the hair to take her down. Nelson sounds like Casey Kasem. Now Sherri works on the arm. Now Devine works on the arm.

Sherri gets in a shot to the head to take over before sending her out to the floor. Somehow Sherri loses track of the woman in a black outfit on a baseball field and Candi is able to sneak back in and dropkick Sherri to the floor. Boston Crab by Candi is reversed into a reversal by Sherri which gets two. Sherri drops a leg and a horrible small package for one. Back to the floor and Sherri knees her in the head to keep her out of the ring.

After that happens a few times Devine pulls Sherri to the floor and wraps the leg around the post. Back in and Devine works on the arm a bit more because we haven’t done that in awhile. Now Sherri hooks a headlock and this needs to end really badly. It’s 80s women’s wrestling so this isn’t going to be good by default (other than the Bomb Angels that is) but do we need eleven minutes of it? Sunset flip gets two for Devine. Finally Sherri wins with a top rope splash. Actually it was more like a knee to the chest as she overshot Candi but whatever.

Rating: D-. This was even worse than the previous one. The psychology was completely non-existent (wrap the leg around the post, TIME FOR AN ARMBAR!!!) as Devine was clearly there for her looks. Sherri was a heat machine but I never was huge on her in ring stuff. Pretty awful match.

Sherri says she’s the champion.

As I said, everyone is giving interviews before the match. I’m not going to bother recapping them unless something of note is said because most of them just say “I’ll win.”

Asian Six Man Tag Titles: Giant Baba/Tsuruta/Genichiro Tenryu vs. Harley Race/Bill Irwin/Scott Irwin

I can find no source claiming that these titles existed either before or after this show. The three Japanese guys are the defending champions but they have no belts. Baba has freaky skinny arms. Scott vs. Tenryu to start. They talk about the two former world champions here: Race and Tsuruta. That’s very interesting that they’re ignoring Baba being a three time NWA World Champion.

Ok so Scott is in the shirt. Got it. Race comes in to fight Tenryu and never mind as it’s Jumbo. Race is his usual old school heel self and it’s off to Bill. Bill makes a tag as Tsuruta counters a top wristlock. Off to Race vs. Baba as this match is really awkward. There’s no story here so there’s no heat to it. They tag in and out a lot and technically it’s ok, but it’s more like a collection of moves than a coherent match.

Bill gets a boot in and the fans are getting behind the heels. See what I mean about it not making a lot of sense? Tenryu is going to be playing Ricky Morton it seems. Piledriver gets two for Race. The Irwins hit a double back elbow for the same. Tenryu gets a boot up and it’s hot tag to Jumbo. Everything breaks down and Baba LAUNCHES Bill into the corner and to the floor. Back to Tenryu who gets a slam for two. Everything breaks down again and Baba hits a big boot on Bill for the pin to retain.

Rating: D. This show has been pretty meh so far and this match hasn’t helped anything. The fake champions defended their fake titles against guys they have no issue with right? On top of that like I said, there’s no issue here so the match isn’t anything interesting either. This felt off the whole time and it really brought it down. That and the heels being cheered because no one knew most of the Japanese guys.

The idiot Nelson calls Race the Legend of St. Louis.

Midget Championship: Little Mr. T. vs. Little Tokyo

This is something they’d do every now and then. The title had no continuity and one day a guy would be called champion for the sake of having a title match. These matches usually suck and it’ll probably have some unfunny comedy. This is one of those matches where there’s not much to say because again, there’s no story. Mr. T. gets caught in a quick armbar as for the fourth match in a row, Nelson isn’t sure if there was hair pulling or not.

Tokyo rams him into the buckle but Mr. T. comes back with a headbutt for two. Back to the armbar by T. until Tokyo comes back with strikes. He’s mean apparently. T. hooks a chinlock and then Tokyo kicks him in the shoulder. This is going nowhere. T. and the referee look at something in the air for no apparent reason. Here’s a test of strength which Tokyo controls but Mr. T. doesn’t pity that Japanese fool and stomps on Tokyo’s feet. Tokyo hooks a headlock again and T. hits a pair of Butt-Butts. You figure out what it is. Tokyo wins with a double chop.

Rating: D-. Is there a single good match on this whole show? There are enough to pick from (13) as the show runs over three hours, so there almost has to be one good one in here somewhere. It’s pretty clear that they were trying to fit as much in here as possible without really putting any effort into it. And they wonder why they went out of business.

IWA International Title: Mil Mascaras vs. Buddy Robers

This is called the Mexican Title but it’s an actual belt. Mascaras is champion here. Roberts is a Freebird so he’s a southern brawler, which doesn’t sound like it’s going to mesh that well with Masscaras. Mil moves around quickly and Roberts is getting frustrated. Mascaras hooks a full nelson and lifts him off the mat with it in a nice display of power. He uses a bunch of holds that get on Roberts’ nerves and this is bordering on a squash.

When all else fails, rake the eyes of the masked man. Buddy might hit him low before coming off the middle rope with an elbow for tow. Neckbreaker gets two. They slug it out and Roberts misses a running knee in the corner. He gets tied up and Mascaras doesn’t follow up due to being technico. Mascaras throws him around, slams him and comes off with the top rope cross body to retain.

Rating: C. This was by far the best match of the night up to this point. More than anything else, they kept this short. It also helped that there was a story, even though it was a simple one (one guy cheats, the other doesn’t). Mascaras was something different (and interesting, unlike the midgets or women) and made the match much more entertaining.

WCCW Texas Title: Kerry Von Erich vs. Jimmy Garvin

There seems to be more people around the ring now. Kerry wants the Claw before the match even begins but Precious gets in the way. Kerry is defending here. He takes the jacket off and we get the girl pop. We hear about Mike being in the hospital. That would be the injury he was rushed back from and that would drive him to suicide. Kerry tries the Claw but when Jimmy runs, Kerry does Jimmy’s strut.

Kerry speeds things up and the place is erupting off every move he makes. Garvin tries to cheat and gets run over for his efforts. Shoulder block gets two. Garvin gets in some offense but misses an elbow drop. Kerry misses a knee but doesn’t really get in trouble. A quick abdominal stretch is broken up and Garvin hooks a chinlock. Kerry gets knocked to the floor where Precious yells at him. Garvin won’t let him back in so Kerry stalls like a Zbyszko. Back in Kerry hits some discus punches but can’t get the Claw. Jimmy goes up but gets crotched and falls off, allowing Kerry to get the pin.

Rating: C-. Anticlimactic ending aside, this could have been a bad TV main event I guess. It’s a good example where the crowd can help a match as the fans were rabid for Kerry. What a shame it was that Fritz wouldn’t let his boys go outside of Texas because Kerry could have been a huge star on a national stage.

Nick Bockwinkel/Ray Stevens/Larry Zbyszko vs. Greg Gagne/Scott Hall/Curt Hennig

Old vs. new here. Hall with that mustache is something to see. Jack Brickhouse introduces the match. He reminisces for awhile and does LONG intros, taking almost three minutes to introduce six men. Hennig vs. Bockwinkel to get us going. The fans all start to get interested in something so the match stops for a few seconds. Bockwinkel flips Hennig around as Curt is a hot shot rookie at this point.

Hennig comes back so Nick hides in the corner. Off to Larry who only stalls about 40 seconds this time. Larry gets thrown around so he rants and raves for awhile. Off to Hall who works on Larry’s arm. Off to Gagne who jumps onto the arm off the top. Now Hennig works on the arm but Larry gets a suplex in to bring back Nick. Larry and Nick choke on Hennig in the corner until Hall comes over which doesn’t really do much.

Hennig gets knocked to the floor and worked over for a few minutes until it’s back inside for an abdominal stretch from Larry. Curt manages to tag Gagne but the referee misses it. Bockwinkel and Hennig collide as the match keeps going. Larry comes in and there’s the hot tag (with a POP) to Gagne. Everything breaks down and Hall powerslams Steves (both illegal) for the pin. Stevens never tagged into the match.

Rating: C-. Not the best six man in the world as it was more or less a three on two match given Stevens not coming in. The match wasn’t that good but the energy was there at the end. Hall looked like a completely different guy and Hennig has a small afro, so time has been kind to those guys. This was just barely ok.

AWA Tag Titles: Freebirds vs. Road Warriors

The Warriors are defending. This is Hayes/Gordy and they have their faces painted with the Confederate Flag. The champs clear the ring before the bell and are mad over because this is in Chicago. Hawk and Gordy start as Hayes walks around the field with people yelling at him. Hawk pounds on Terry so Terry heads off to bring in Hayes. Off to Animal as the Birds stall. Ok it’s Animal vs. Gordy.

The squashing continues with the Warriors taking their shots at Gordy. Michael comes back in again and gets pounded so much he crawls back to Gordy for a tag. Terry is like uh….not right now. Gordy finally wakes up and goes after the eyes before dodging a charging Hawk to send his shoulder into the post. Hayes comes back in and hits a side suplex for two. Piledriver by Gordy mostly works but Hawk doesn’t feel like selling that much.

Hayes goes up but Hawk slams him off the top but manages to tag before Hawk can. That’s kind of impressive. Gordy and Hawk collide but there’s the hot one to Animal. Hayes stays on the apron as Animal destroys Gordy, getting two off a powerslam. Everything breaks down and even Roberts and Ellering come in. Ellering gets dropped with a chair and Gordy accidentally pops Hayes. Powerslam to Hayes by Animal and a shoulder to Gordy looks to finish but Hayes comes off the middle rope with something around his hand to knock Animal out for the pin and the titles! The place is stunned.

Rating: D+. This one didn’t quite work either. The whole match was a mess and the ending was hard to follow due to everything going all nuts. The Warriors were still in the period where they would do nothing but run people over, which ran for about the next six or eight years. Bad match for the most part, but you know what’s coming.

Verne Gagne comes out and says hold on a minute. He reverses the decision and the Warriors get the titles back.

NWA Six Man Titles: Krusher Khruschev/Ivan Koloff/Nikita Koloff vs. Crusher/Dick the Bruiser/Baron Von Raschke

This is Crockett vs. AWA and the Russians are the champions of course. Big brawl to start and we eventually get down to Crusher vs. Krusher. Crusher bolo punches his way to prosperity and brings in the Baron. Nikita comes in and runs from the Claw. Nikita was a killing machine and he’s running from an old bald guy holding his hand in the air. Ivan comes in and gets beaten up by the old man as well.

Here’s Dick The Bruiser who is a scary man. He and the Crusher are identical. Dick and Ivan have a test of strength with the evil Russian cheating to escape. Back to Crusher vs. Krusher with Crusher taking over and bringing Baron back in. Ivan comes back in and takes Crusher down. He hits a legdrop which Nelson calls illegal. I’m not even touching that one. Crusher makes his comeback and it’s off to the Bruiser. Baron comes in and drops a leg which isn’t mentioned by Nelson. There’s the Claw and everything breaks down. We cut to a wide shot then go back to see Ivan pinning Baron.

Rating: D+. The ending is as quick as it sounds and since Larry didn’t see it either, we have no idea what knocked Baron out. I think you could see both other Russians but things were moving too fast. Nikita should have been in there running over people though as it’s what he was best at. This is the AWA though so it doesn’t think things through at times.

AWA American’s Title: Sgt. Slaughter vs. Boris Zhukov

Guess who the champion is. Boris jumps the champ to start but Sarge uses the powers of American to get control. The camera jumps to the crowd for some reason. Back to Slaughter destroying Boris, sending the shoulder into the post. They head to the floor and Zhukov slams him onto the mound. Boris controls with basic heel tactics back in the ring. Swinging neckbreaker gets two.

There are three matches left after this one and I don’t think I could take anything longer than that. This show has completely drained me. Out to the floor again and Boris slams him on the announce table. A piledriver out there is countered and Boris is slammed off the top back in. Nelson says the ring shifted an inch and then a foot. Dropkick by Sarge puts Boris down and he loads up the Cannon. The Cannon (short clothesline) hits the referee instead and Boris hits him with a loaded elbow pad. Sarge is busted and as the referee checks on it, Boris shoves the referee for the DQ.

Rating: D+. My mind is numb at this point. These matches mean nothing and we’re getting one cheap finish after another. Also the insane amount of punch/kick matches are making this unbearable. There hasn’t been a single match that I would call good and we’re over two hours into it. This needs to get done because it’s too late to be saved. This match was just another on the pile tonight.

Kamala vs. Jerry Blackwell

This is a $10,000 bodyslam challenge. Kamala is managed by Sheik Adnan Al-Kaissey. The Sheik used to manage Blackwell so there’s your story to the match. Kamala pounds on him to start and I keep trying to remember if he ever won a big match. The crowd reacts to it at least. Blackwell makes his comeback and uses general fat man stuff including a splash.

They try to slam each other which doesn’t work at all because more often than not you don’t just pick someone up and try to slam them. They slug it out and Kamala knocks him down with a chop to the head. There’s a splash and the idiot referee counts one. Here’s a nerve hold for a few seconds. Blackwell Hulks Up, splashes Kamala in the corner and slams him for the win.

Rating: D. It was short but this was one of those goofy fat man matches that they would have. The crowd would get into them which is the right idea. Blackwell was incredibly popular but he never would win the world title. Kamala was Kamala for the better part of ever so he was pretty set.

Post match Al-Kaissey and Kamala beat on Blackwell with a sword. Yeah they turn it on its side and hit him over the head with it. Baron with a ball bat finally makes the save.

AWA World Title: Rick Martel vs. Stan Hansen

Martel is defending. This is the next to last match thank goodness. Hansen jumps him to start and they go to the floor as the bell rings. Back in and it’s all Hansen. If I understood right this has a 25 minute time limit. The midgets got 45. Martel sunset flips him for two. Hansen takes him to the mat and chokes away before it’s a big brawl. They go to the floor and Hansen hits him with some chairs and it’s a DQ in about two and a half minutes. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? We’ve had eleven other matches and the WORLD TITLE MATCH gets two and a half minutes? You couldn’t cut one of the six men matches down? I’m done.

Martel and Hansen brawl onto the field and into the dugout until Verne finally breaks it up.

NWA World Title: Magnum TA vs. Ric Flair

I need this. Flair in the 80s may be somewhat overrated, but Flair’s worst match ever is going to be a glass of water in the desert on this show. Magnum is young here but looks awesome. It’s such a shame what happened to him. Flair doesn’t have the big gold belt yet. Nelson: “Flair like to talk about his robes and his money and his possessions. Magnum TA likes to talk about winning the heavyweight championship of the world.”

They go to the mat to start and no one can get an advantage. They try it again and Magnum takes over with a hammerlock. Back up and Magnum wins a power match in a top wristlock. They speed things up and Magnum dropkicks him down followed by a gorilla press. Flair chops him in the corner but Magnum shrugs them off and it’s back to the arm. Flair throws him through the ropes but Magnum holds on and comes back in all fired up. His dropkick misses though and here comes Naitch.

The champ hits that one armed snapmare that you’ll see him do a lot. There’s the knee drop but he doesn’t cover. Butterfly suplex gets two. Abdominal stretch has Magnum in trouble but Flair gets caught pulling trunks so the hold has to be broken. Flair snapmares him down again but the knee misses. Magnum IMMEDIATELY throws on a figure four and the champ is in trouble. You don’t need a big long beatdown. This makes perfect sense so the psychology is right there. Love it.

Ric finally makes a rope but his knee is messed up now. Magnum tries to put it on again but Flair counters. A low blow takes TA down but Flair can’t capitalize. Suplex gets two for Magnum. Backslide for two. Flair pokes him in the eye and throws him to the floor. Magnum comes back with a sunset flip attempt but Flair punches him in the head to break it up. This time Flair hooks a hammerlock and puts his foot on the rope at the same time. Little things like those will always get someone booed, but for some reason no one does them anymore.

Flair stays on the arm and puts his foot on the rope but swears he didn’t do it. Again, little things. Crucifix position cradle gets two. Magnum fights up and hooks a sleeper. Flair slaps at the ropes but doesn’t grab them so the referee won’t break it up. The sleeper was Magnum’s finisher before he started using the belly to belly. A splash hits knees though and both guys are down.

Flair hits a kneecrusher out of nowhere and there’s the Figure Four. Magnum turns it over so Flair lets it go. He tries to hook it again just like Magnum did earlier but Flair’s is countered as well. Magnum throws him into the corner for the Flair Flip (Nelson thinks it’s a DQ but the referee says Flair flipped himself. Whatever) and they go to the floor. Flair is busted so Magnum pounds away at the cut.

Magnum is all fired up but Flair says bring it on. TA keeps pounding away at the cut and Flair is bleeding nice and strong. Big right hand gets two. Backdrop puts Flair down as he’s holding back on the belly to belly so far until he knows Flair is ready. They do the awesome backslide bridge out and the fans are all fired up now. There’s the belly to belly (powerslam according to Nelson) but Flair’s feet hit the referee. Magnum rolls him up but Flair pulls the tights into one of his own for the pin. Nelson: “Flair wins the title!”

Rating: B+. After the AWFUL stuff that we had to sit through for the last three hours, I’d have given anything that was good a solid grade here. Good match here and after Magnum had his best match ever in about two months, seeing this again in about fourteen months would have been awesome. Very good match and every time I see Magnum in a big one, it makes me kind of sad. He’d be 52 today so he could still be somewhat active. What a shame.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. Until the main event this was going to be a rating that hadn’t been heard of yet. It’s not so much that it’s bad because some of these matches are okish, but THIRTEEN of them in a row isn’t enough for a very good main event to make this even salvageable. The lack of stories and the high amount of punch/kick matches bring this WAY down. Just too long and nothing interesting until the last match. Really bad show but if you’ve got 25 minutes to kill, you could do a lot worse than Flair vs. Magnum.

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