USWA Wrestling Challenge
Date: January 27, 1990
Location: Sportatorium, Dallas, Texas
Commentators: Marc Lowrance, Terrance Garvin, Jerry Lawler

Here’s the final show I have for these guys at the moment. We’ve jumped ahead another three weeks so hopefully we get something a little newer here. Also am I missing something or has there been no Lawler in a long time? Anyway this show can’t get much more boring so let’s get to it.

As usual we open with a clip from last week where Adams/Funk beat up Braddock/Chu-Hi but Tojo came in for the DQ. Adams came back with a superkick to take out Chi-Hi and that’s it.

Some chick sings America the Beautiful.

Chris Adams vs. Texas Battleship

No idea who Battleship is but he’s good sized. The fans chant Superkick and they circle each other a lot. Battleship is sent to the floor and Adams hits a suicide dive to take him out. Back in a top rope superkick ends this quick.

Here’s Lawler who is defending against JYD next week. Lowrance wants to know when Kerry gets his title shot as well. Lawler runs down all of Texas and says that he’ll be champion as long as he wants. As for JYD, he may have brought himself up from the gutter but he’s getting homesick. JYD has become a religious man lately since he’s been praying for something to happen to keep him from having to face Lawler. As for Lowrance, the people aren’t clapping for him. They’re slapping their heads to stay awake. Lawler is going to sit in on commentary.

Texas Title: Chris Youngblood vs. Kerry Von Erich

Well Lawler is certainly better than Garvin. Lawler wants to know how Kerry can call himself a Modern Day Warrior when he’s a washed up has been. Kerry is defending of course. He wants Lawler gone for his match but Jerry is allowed to stay. Lawler leaves on his own so he can watch Youngblood take the title. Kerry punches Chris to the floor to start and grabs a quick Claw but Youngblood bails.

We take a break and come back with Youngblood chopping in the corner. There’s a guitar on a pole match coming up. Holy Russo Batman! Youngblood hooks a wristlock but Kerry comes back with a discus punch to tie Youngblood up in the ropes. Chris tries to leave so they fight on the floor with Kerry’s face going into the post. Kerry takes a chair to the back but it’s not a DQ. Kerry tries the discus punch but he hits the post.

Youngblood works over the hand now. He’s a Medicine Man if I didn’t mention that. Back inside and it’s time for an abdominal stretch. You know, after Kerry punched a steel post. Kerry escapes and loads up the Claw but Youngblood blocks it. Kerry settles for the Stomach Claw instead but Youngblood punches out of it and we head back to the floor. Back in the ring the discus punch hits again as does a piledriver. Youngblood is up way too fast so Kerry rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: C-. This match was nothing great but WOW what a breath of fresh air this was to have someone out there that was capable of showing some energy instead of just standing around and moving very slowly. Kerry may have been drugged out of his mind most matches but he could get a crowd going and that’s more than most people lately have been able to say.

We recap Jarrett vs. Travis. Apparently Travis has been dressing up in an Elvis jumpsuit and hitting people with a guitar. The solution: a guitar on a pole match. We also get a quick video on Jarrett.

Billy Joe Travis vs. Jeff Jarrett

Lawler comes back to do commentary. Jarrett jumps Travis as soon as he gets in and they head to the floor. It’s so weird hearing the voice of Raw on here. Back in the ring and Jarrett whacks him with a chair. Billy for the pole but Jarrett gets a great right hand to stop him. After saying the word superplex, Jeff hits one to take Billy down. Jarrett DDTs Travis on the table which doesn’t move an inch. There’s a piledriver on the floor and partially onto a chair. We take a break and come back with Jarrett tombstoning Travis and getting the guitar. That’s what you have to do to win. Ok then.

Rating: C+. This was basically a Jarrett squash. That being said, it was entertaining because the idea was to have Travis be the Honky Tonk Man character, as in the guy that everyone can beat but he keeps eluding them. Once you get someone in there that gets their hands on him and tears him apart, he doesn’t stand a chance. This was part of the blowoff for that and it worked pretty well.

Post match Lawler comes in the ring and beats down Jeff. Out to the floor and Jeff goes into the post. Lawler hits Jarrett with the guitar, breaking it after about three shots. Kerry Von Erich makes the save. Lawler sells his punches incredibly well. The numbers catch up with Kerry and Lawler gets in some shots with the handle of the guitar. Jarrett makes the save with a chair.

Overall Rating: C. See now THIS is more like it. It’s not a great show or anything but there was actual energy in these matches. Jarrett looked like a big deal, Kerry was his usual self with firing up the crowd, Adams was good for getting the people going and Lawler is his usual heat generating machine. I want to see Lawler vs. Von Erich now and I’d assume there’s a tag match coming with those four. If I find any more of these shows I’ll throw them up as this one would have made me keep watching.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWA: The Eruption
Date: April 14, 2002 (Taped April 13, 2002)
Location: Rod Laver Arena, Melbourne, Australia
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Disco Inferno

Back to these guys again for their third of five PPVs. It’s been about two months since the last show and we have a new world champion in the form of Nathan Jones who won the title about a week before this show. We’ve also got a vacant Cruiserweight Championship as Eddie Guerrero went back to the WWF so it’s mini tournament time! Let’s get to it.

The set looks like a volcano which is appropriate.

Sid Vicious, the commissioner now, is here and using a cane to walk.

A very confused Australian ring announcer screws up the name of the company and welcomes the announcers to the broadcast table that they’ve been at for at least three minutes now. I can understand screwing up the company name as World Wrestling Association as it’s a much more natural name.

International Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: AJ Styles vs. Nova

They slug it out to start as we can hear presumably the director talking through the headsets. Nova sends AJ into the middle buckle but AJ pops back up and runs him over with a shoulder. Nova clotheslines him down but AJ nips up into a hurricanrana to Nova back down. AJ tries another rana but Nova grabs him into a powerbomb position and does some lifts of AJ in an impressive power display before flipping him forward and onto his face for two.

Nova hooks a freaky looking three limb submission hold called Twisted Sister which only lasts for a few seconds. A BIG kick to the face gets two on Styles but Nova misses a Swanton. AJ picks up Nova for the Styles Clash (Director: “Finish.”) to advance to the title match later tonight.

Rating: C+. This was too short to be able to mean much as they were flying through this, no pun intended. The director was really distracting here as he kept talking about times and such like that. They really do need to work on fixing that as it’s really hard to ignore. Still though, good choice for an opener here as AJ would go on to become a big star in the near future.

Scott Steiner is here.

The Starettes dance a bit.

Quick video on Jerry Lynn arriving last month and attacking Eddie Guerrero.

Here’s Sid with something to say. Seeing him in a suit is a very odd sight. He said he needed to hear the fans again, which draws a pretty lame Sid chant. Sid thanks Andrew McManus, the WWA owner, for giving him this chance. He talks about sitting at home thinking he’s done in wrestling when McManus called him and asked him to come to Australia for a show.

As for Scott Steiner, he’s an amazing talent but he doesn’t want to play by the rules of the WWA. Sid officially makes him #1 contender and the match will take place tonight. He says he won’t be perfect but he’s glad to have one more shot at this. This is probably the most coherent you’ll ever hear Sid, which makes this pretty dull stuff.

International Cruiserweight Title Tournament Semi-Finals: Jerry Lynn vs. Chuck E. Chaos

Chaos is an Australian wrestler who gets a good reaction. He jumps Lynn as he comes in and pulls Jerry to the floor for springboard dive. As Chuckie comes back in, Jerry hits the spinning Fameasser and the cradle piledriver to end this in just over a minute.

Disco is having trouble with his audio and we get some bad small talk between him and Jeremy.

Puppet the midget is in the back yelling at some company guy. The audio here is terrible but I think he wants to kill his opponent Teo.

Puppet vs. Teo

Hardcore of course. Puppet runs his mouth before the match but Teo runs in to pound away. A running knee to Teo’s head in the corner is followed by a slingshot headbutt to the groin. Puppet heads to the floor to grab some chairs and here’s your out of context line of the night from Disco: “You have to pay to lick a midget?” Puppet drops Teo on three chairs set up in the middle of the ring for two. Teo hits a TKO for two before they horribly botch I think a Blockbuster.

Teo brings in a garbage can as we hear from the director again. Puppet comes back again (there’s less selling in this match than in Death of a Salesman. How’s THAT for mixing two different worlds?) with a Vader Bomb but Teo punches him down and hits a top rope Swanton bomb for two. Now Puppet is put in a trashcan while Teo pounds away with a chair. Teo brings in a ladder for a big splash onto the trashcan onto Puppet for the pin. I think this was the last midget match from this company.

Rating: D+. The hardcore stuff here kind of works for these guys. I’m still not a fan of them but at least they’re trying out there. Puppet would go on to annoy fans on TNA where he would pull a gun in one of his matches. Thankfully we’ve gotten to better midget wrestling in Hulk Hogan’s Micro Championship Wrestling. Not much else to say here.

Teo molests Steiner’s chick Midajah in the back.

Stevie Ray/Buff Bagwell vs. Ernest Miller/Brian Christopher

Buff and Christopher start things off with Brian dancing around like a schmuck. Instead of fighting Buff poses for a bunch of booing from the crowd. They run the ropes a lot until we get some weak hip tosses and slams. A bulldog puts Bagwell down and it’s off to Miller. Disco sums up the problem with Miller (and the future Brodus Clay) in general: If he wants someone to call his mama, why doesn’t he leave a number?

Bagwell takes Miller down with a swinging neckbreaker before it’s off to Ray for some more slow beating. The not hot tag brings in Christopher who is caught in a backbreaker and a kind of powerbomb for no cover. Off to a lame chinlock from Bagwell followed by a double clothesline to put both guys down. Brian hits an enziguri to set up the double tag so Miller can pound on Ray for a bit. Back to Buff who messes up a sunset flip before Miller does his gyrating. Everything breaks down and Stevie accidentally kicks Buff, allowing Christopher to hit the Hip Hop Drop for the pin on Bagwell.

Rating: D+. They took four guys and threw them into a tag match to fill in about ten minutes. While it wasn’t a good match at all and had ZERO heat from the crowd, what do you expect from guys like this? The match could only be so good given the talent in there, and it never was anything more than what it seemed like: filler.

Post match Christopher and Miller dance a bit. Thankfully the Starettes come out to join them. As do some fans. Disco: “What would Lou Thesz think right now?” Inferno can’t take anymore and tries to get in, only to be beaten up by Christopher and the kids.

Alan Funk, the Funkster, does his Hogan impression before fighting Pierre Ouellette and cutting a weird promo on the Rougeau Family.

Alan Funk vs. Quebecer Pierre

As in from the Quebecers in the early to mid 90s WWF. Before the match Pierre says he’s a former three time tag team champion of the world (take THAT Daniels fans!) before singing the Canadian national anthem. Thankfully (I think?) the Funkster breaks it up but Pierre runs him over and pounds away to start. Funk comes back with a few clotheslines but Pierre pounds him back down. The Hogan impression is decent but it’s not adding anything at all here.

Pierre runs him over again for two and hooks a sleeper. After that goes nowhere, Funk hits a springboard sunset flip for two before walking into a suplex for two for the French Canadian dude. A guillotine legdrop gets two on Funk and it’s time to Hulk Up. The big boot is blocked and Funk gets clotheslined right back down again. A running Liger Bomb sets up a Swanton Bomb for two for Pierre and now it’s the real Hulk Up time. Disco: “I know who he reminds me of now: BOBBY EATON!” They chop it out with Pierre taking over with more power stuff before the big boot and a piledriver set up the legdrop for the pin by Funk.

Rating: D. We get it: he’s a Hogan impersonator. He looks a lot like Hulk and has a few of the mannerisms down, but how much can you get out of something like this? It’s been done MANY times before and Funk really doesn’t do anything new with it. Then again it’s the same kind of thing you would expect from a mid level indy company.

Video on Nathan Jones.

Here are Steiner and Midajah to a big reaction even though he’s a heel. Scott talks about all the women he’s had in Australia and makes fun of Australian sports. Steiner offers to beat up someone from the crowd but here’s Nathan Jones to stare at Scott instead. Thankfully they’ve finally changed the design of the world title and it looks more like a traditional belt. Nathan comes to the ring but Sid (who is shorter than Jones) comes out to say save it for the main event. Steiner talks about how he broke Sid’s body and spirit so Sid says he’ll be the enforcer for the main event.

Video on the cruiserweights in the company.

International Cruiserweight Title: AJ Styles vs. Jerry Lynn

This has a twenty minute time limit. That’s the best they can do for their secondary championship? Don’t bother trying to make it feel important or anything. They head to the mat to start with neither guy being able to get an advantage. Jerry avoids a dropkick and we have a standoff. Styles flips out of a wristlock to put on one of his own and they flip around a lot before both guys try armdrags at the same time, resulting in a Lynn armbar. That’s a new spot for me.

Styles escapes a monkey flip but gets clotheslined down and hit with a backbreaker for two. Off to a surfboard by Lynn followed by a spinning inverted Gory Special. AJ comes back with his moonsault DDT for two and a big kick to the head for two more. Styles tries a tornado DDT but gets caught in a northern lights suplex into the corner instead to put him right back down. AJ knocks him out to the floor and hits a big flip dive to take Jerry down again as selling continues to be a foreign idea.

Back in and the dive gets two as Lynn is bleeding from the mouth a bit. The Styles Clash is countered into a rana from Jerry but AJ counters the cradle piledriver as well. We get a nice long pinfall reversal sequence with about five two counts each. Jerry finally kills AJ dead with a German suplex so Styles comes back with a neckbreaker for two of his own. Lynn hits a sitout powerbomb for two and gets the same off the cradle piledriver. Out of nowhere AJ counters a DDT and hits the Styles Clash for two of his own. AJ goes up top but gets punched in the ribs. Lynn’s superplex is broken up and the Spiral Tap gives AJ the title.

Rating: B-. This was fine for a spot fest but at the same time it felt like they were trying to have a classic rather than having one. The lack of selling was as annoying as ever with both guys taking big moves and popping right back up like it was a single chop. These two would have WAY better matches in TNA but those were a few months away.

Jerry shakes AJ’s hand post match.

A cage is lowered as we recap Devon Storm vs. Sabu. They’re both hardcore and have fought twice already. That’s about it.

Devon Storm vs. Sabu

In a cage as I said and apparently you can only win by pin here but “it doesn’t matter where the pin is”. Why do they have to over complicate these things? Storm hits a quick shoulder block to start and pounds away before Sabu comes back with a springboard DDT for two. Sabu hits a pair of springboard leg lariats for no count before Storm slams Sabu’s back into the cage twice to take over.

Sabu is busted open via another shot to the cage before Storm gets two off a top rope splash. Sabu’s back is bleeding now too. Apparently this fires him up enough to send Storm into the cage to take over. The bleeding guy finds a sharp object from somewhere and starts stabbing away at Storm’s head to bust him open as well. Sabu goes up top, only to get caught in a northern lights superplex to shift momentum again.

Devon finds a chair from somewhere to beat on Sabu with before hitting a northern lights suplex (popular move tonight) onto said chair for no cover. Storm wedges the chair between the ropes and of course gets rammed into it for his efforts. Sabu pelts the chair at Storm’s head before hitting Air Sabu in the corner. Air Sabu against the cage puts Storm down for an Arabian Facebuster but the triple jump moonsault off the cage misses completely.

A Death Valley Driver on the chair gets two for Storm so he goes to the floor (not a win) and sets up a piece of guard rail between the steps and the barricade. Sabu kicks Storm in the face on the floor as both guys are now out of the cage. Sabu pulls out a table and they slug it out a bit. Devon suplexes Sabu onto the bridged piece of railing and we stall a bit more. There’s a table set up next to the ring so Storm pulls out two more in addition to the set one.

Storm stacks another table on the set one as this has stopped being a cage match in any form. A DDT on the floor puts Sabu down for half a second and Storm puts Sabu on the top of the two tables. There’s a BIG dive off the cage to put both guys down yet again. Another table is set up back inside the cage (remember that?) but Storm throws a chair through the door to put Sabu down.

Sabu comes back with a fireball to pop the crowd huge. He puts Devon on the table and hits a moonsault off the top of the cage onto Storm….but the table doesn’t break. An Arabian Facebuster off the top of the cage is FINALLY enough to break the table and get the pin on Storm.

Rating: D. This was violence for the sake of violence which isn’t my style at all. On top of that, having the guys leave the cage is always annoying as it defeats the purpose of having a cage. The big splash through the tables looked great but other than that all we had here were the same brawling spots we’ve already seen from these guys.

The announcers talk about a sweepstakes while the cage is taken down.

Midajah vs. Queen Bea

Evening gown match. Bea is a Penthouse Pet who only had like four matches ever. They can’t wrestle, they look good in their outfits, Bea’s underwear is blue and she loses in less than two and a half minutes. The midgets come out and strip Midajah for fun.

WWA World Title: Nathan Jones vs. Scott Steiner

Scott is challenging here and punches Jones in the corner. Oh and Sid is outside enforcer. Jones beals Scott down and they collide a few times. Steiner flips Jones off which earns him another shoulder from the champion. Jones knocks Steiner to the floor so Steiner knocks Jones to the floor. The champion hits a slingshot clothesline back in for two before pounding away in the corner.

Steiner immediately comes back by shoving Jones over the top and out to the floor. Jones is whipped HARD through a barricade as we continue to hide the severe limitations of both guys. Back inside and Steiner hits a backbreaker to put Nathan down again. There are the pushups followed by some yelling at the fans by the challenger. Off to a lame bow and arrow hold by Steiner and a low blow to keep Jones down. A northern lights suplex (why is that so popular tonight?) keeps Jones in trouble so Steiner can put on…..a Sharpshooter? It’s horrible as you would expect but it’s more strange to see than bad.

We hit a bearhug from Steiner which he ends himself with an overhead belly to belly to put Jones down. Scott pounds away but Jones comes back with a side slam to get himself a breather. A clothesline sets up a very awkward looking elbow drop by the champion who follows that up by literally falling off the top rope on a clothesline attempt. Literally, he fell forward with no vertical leap at all. Jones loads up the chokeslam but Midajah jumps on his back.

Steiner stops to yell at Sid for a bit, causing Jones to try a pair of quick rollups for two. Scott pokes the champion in the eye and slams him down, only to jump into the chokeslam. Midajah makes the save so Sid loads up Midajah for the powerslam. Another referee stops him and in the melee Steiner hits Jones with a belt shot. The Steiner Recliner gives Scott via arm drops.

Rating: D. This wasn’t that good at all. At the end of the day, Jones was all look and almost no substance whatsoever. As bad as he looked beforehand, the falling off the top rope turned the whole thing into an even bigger joke than it already was. Sid was only there as a means to the end of the match and added nothing else. The whole match was a clash of styles and neither guy was good enough to carry the other to anything above terrible.

Sid raises Scott’s hand post match but wants a title match later. Scott leaves without saying anything before coming back to say let’s do it right now. Sid stumbles over saying he’ll fight if he’s able. Now that’s the babbling Vicious we know and love….for some reason.

Overall Rating: D. These shows aren’t very good. Now to be fair at this point there was no TNA so this was literally the best English alternative to WWE. A lot of these guys would go on to appear in TNA but while they were here there wasn’t much to see from them. The show goes by fast but there’s absolutely nothing on here worth seeing. It isn’t terrible but it falls into that category of you see it and never think of it again after a day or so.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Mid-South Championship Wrestling
Date: January 20, 1984
Location: Irish McNeil Boys Club, Shreveport, Louisiana
Commentators: Boyd Pierce, Bill Watts

No Mercy is downloading so it’s back to Louisiana. I really liked this one last time so hopefully it’ll still be good again here. Last time we saw Duggan and JYD feuding with the Russians while Magnum TA got tarred and feathered. The Midnight Express is running around and being all Midnight Express kinds of evil which is always fun. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence opens us up in a sequential way.

Jim Cornetee is with Watts. Watts says that there have been a lot of managers but Cornette is the first mama’s boy. Cornette asks why he should have to work for anything when he can call his mama (on Planet Funk?) and have her buy it for him. We get a clip of Mr. Wrestling II and Magnum saying they’re awesome. Cornette interrupted them and wanted to know when the Midnight Express would get a title shot. The champs call Cornette a chicken and he leaves.

Back to the live video and Cornette says I told you so, and we get a clip of the tarring and feathering by the Express last week and the champs’ promo after it. Mr. Wrestling II promises some plucking. You know for an hour long show, spending the first ten minutes plus on a recap is probably not the best use of TV time. Cornette: “Why don’t you pluck your partner?” Jim promises more violence if the Express doesn’t get the title match. Mid-South has fined Cornette $5000 but Cornette says that’s just a phone call home to mother.

Krusher Darsow vs. Terry Taylor

This is supposed to be Volkoff but he’s injured. Darsow jumps him to start but Taylor comes back with elbows. He slams Darsow and hooks an abdominal stretch and Volkoff runs in for the quick DQ.

Taylor dropkicks Darsow to the floor but Volkoff puts a rope around Taylor’s throat. He tries to hang Taylor over his back but Taylor flips out of it. Darsow comes back in and they hang him over the top rope. Some wrestlers make the save.

Roger Bond/Mike Jackson vs. Midnight Express

The tag champions are on commentary. Cornette has a bag of feathers which he’s blowing in the direction of Magnum. Cornette runs his mouth a lot to start. Condrey and Jackson start things off. Jackson hits a cross body for two and a dropkick puts Condrey down. It’s off to Eaton who has some better luck. Back to Condrey who beats on Bond for awhile. Eaton slams Bond down and hits a middle rope knee. The Express tags in and out very fast. Wrestling II is giving Eaton pointers which is cool to hear. Condrey hits a powerslam off the middle rope which sets up their double team elbow/drop for the pin. Squash.

The Express destroys both guys post match and set to tar and feather Bond but Magnum runs in for the save. Apparently that costs them $2500.

Buddy Landell vs. Mike Starbuck

Landell is basically famous for looking exactly like Ric Flair and copying everything he did. Landell controls with ease and puts a full nelson on him as Mike’s face is on the mat. A backbreaker and elbow drop gets the pin.

Brian Adidas vs. Mickey Henry

There’s going to be a TV Title tournament coming up. Adidas control to start as we hear about a new team coming called the Rock N Roll Express. Henry grabs a headlock and hits Brian in the ribs. Adidas comes back with a dropkick and botches a leap frog, a victory roll and most of a small package but the last one gets the pin. That was a horrible ending sequence.

Masao Ito vs. Rick Rood

Rood offers a handshake but is turned down. He towers over Ito here. Ito stomps him down and chops a lot. He hooks a choke of some kind which gets Rood a DQ win.

Rood is bleeding from the mouth as Ito won’t let it go.

Here’s a video on the Rock N Roll Express set to I Love Rock And Roll by Joan Jett. It’s a music video which is more 80s than Hulk Hogan, Mr. T and the Karate Kid going Back to the Future to bust ghosts to hair metal.

Watts and Boyd wrap up the show.

Overall Rating: C+. I still really like this show. They’re efficient with their stories and you get a nice mix of squashes to keep the show moving. Cornette is at his best here with being a mama’s boy that you want to punch in the face. Fun show and this is something I’d definitely watch if it aired today.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Triple Mania XX
Date: August 5, 2012
Location: Arena Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico City, Mexico
Attendance: 21,000
Commentators: Andres Maronas, Arturo Rivera, Jesus Zuniga, Leo Riano

This is another request as I’m actually building up a bit of a history with AAA. I did their famous When Worlds Collide show (not sure why it’s famous but it kind of is) and Triplemania 18, which is their biggest show of the year. At that show, a group called Los Perros Del Mal debuted and started an invasion storyline. Since then, the group has merged with like five other groups to form La Sociedad, which has about 25-30 members. The main event tonight is a member of one of those stables, Mascara Ano 2000 vs. Dr. Wagner Jr. in a mask vs. mask match. I speak enough Spanish to get the gist of this show so let’s get to it.

This show is also an annual memorial to Antonio Pena, the founder of the company who died in I think 1994. The opening video is a partial tribute to him and also a rundown of the card, which has two tag teams representing Joaquin Roldan and Dorian Roldan (father and son who hate each other) with the losing team’s boss getting his head shaved. Dorian’s team is Jeff Jarrett and Kurt Angle so you’ll at least know some people.

We open with house show dates. That’s not exactly the best way to fire up an audience for a super show.

The opening video in the arena is about the Roldans and their drama. Basically one heads AAA and one heads La Sociedad, which is the invading group I mentioned earlier. This is treated as the main event of the show even though there’s another lucha de apuesta match (betting match, usually mask vs. mask or hair vs. hair or something like that) and a world title match after it.

The set is basically a Titantron sat on the stage which is similar to what late WCW had, meaning it’s not bad at all.

A bunch of girls in barely there dresses bring out banners and flags to open things up in the arena. This is set to the instrumental montage music from Rocky IV. That’s totally awesome.

Faby Apache/Fenix/Octagoncito/Pimpinela Escarlata vs. Dark Dragon/Mini Charly Manson/Sexy Star/Yuriko

From what I can tell, this is a Relevos Atomicos de locura match, which means there’s a male wrestler (Fenix/Dark Dragon), a female wrestler (Faby Apache/Sexy Star, who is women’s champion), a mini (Octagoncito/Mini Charly Manson) and an exotico (Pimpinela Escarlata/Yuriko), which is literally a transvestite wrestler. Now there’s a cultural difference for you. As best as I can gather, the rules are your usual eight person tag rules. I think Sexy Star is on the heel team.

I have almost no idea who these people are so I’ll do my best to keep track of this. The referee gets an ovation too for some reason. The exoticos start things off and Escarlata is the one with short hair. Got it. The ring is HUGE and six sided ala old school TNA. Escarlata runs the ropes a lot and takes Yuriko over with a sloppy headscissors before strutting a bit.

Off to Apache vs. Star which I believe is a big rivalry. This is lucha rules (duh) which means sending someone to the floor is the same as them tagging out. Star is sent to the outside and I think Dark Dragon comes in to mess with Faby’s hair. An armdrag puts Dragon down and it’s off to Octagoncito. Yeah that was Dragon because Octagon (yes I’m well aware that Octagon is a totally different guy but I’m calling Octagoncito Octagon in this match for the sake of it’s easier to type) gets to face Mini Charly Manson for a bit now. I apologize for explaining so much but I have almost no idea what’s going on and I’m watching the stuff.

Octagon flies around a lot and uses a lot of spins and dives to annoy Manson before it’s off to Dragon who kicks Octagon’s head off. Now Dragon is headscissored to the floor and Octagon takes him out with a dive. The rest of the heels work on Fenix who is sent to the floor and into the apron by Dragon. Now it’s Escarlata getting worked over by the heels. This is REALLY fast paced stuff. Dragon comes off the top with a double stomp I think to the groin, and now it’s Faby’s turn to get beaten up.

Everything stays broken down and Octagon takes a gutbuster from Star. The heels are in total control at the moment and everyone is beating up everyone. Escarlata is quadruple teamed in the corner but Fenix and Octagon come back in off the top for the save. Now the face team is alone in the ring until we get down to Star vs. Fenix. Star wears a mask and has long blonde hair for you visual people out there. Fenix hits an awkward looking kick to the head in the corner before it’s back to Dragon. Dragon tries to throw Fenix into the air but gets caught in an INSANE midair flip into a rana. That looked AWESOME.

A top rope knee drop to Dragon’s head looks to finish but Yuriko makes the save. Octagon comes in with a HARD kick to the back and hits what we would call Wasteland to set up a corkscrew plancha off the top for two. Off to Escarlata vs. Star with the exotico hooking an over the back backbreaker. Manson comes in and takes Escarlata down with a northern lights suplex, only for Faby to take him down with a sitout Pedigree for two.

Dragon makes the save and pulls Apache’s hair before hitting a freaky kind of spinning driver for two. Escarlata jumps into Dragon’s arms and kisses him, sending Dragon to the floor. A big dive takes the Dragon out so Star dives on both of them (looked awesome too), followed by a dive from Octagon. Fenix hits a 360 moonsault to take out all four, as Yuriko slams Faby down. Apache pops up and grabs a rolling armbar on Yuriko for the submission out of nowhere.

Rating: C+. I have no idea who most of these people are or what in the world was going on with the exoticos, but this was a very fun opener. The crowd was into it the whole time and the big dives were awesome. This Fenix guy seems like someone who could do very well as a high flier ala Sin Cara or an old school WCW cruiserweight. Star is good looking and can dive, but she seems content to be the top chick in AAA and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Tribute video to Antonio Pena.

La Hermanadad 187 vs. Chessman/Juventud Guerrera vs. La Familia de Tijuana vs. Hart Foundation 2.0

La Hermanadad is Joe Lider and Psychosis, La Familia is Extreme Tiger and Halloween and the Hart Foundation is Jack Evans and Teddy Hart. This is a Parejas Suicidas cage match, which means it’s escape rules. The only team left in the ring has to face each other later in the night in a lucha de apuesta match. Apparently Lider and Psychosis are back together for one night only after Psychosis (who is wearing his mask again) was burned by an errant fireball.

Chessman is a tag champion with Abyss here but is teaming with Juvy for some reason. Speaking of Juvy, he’s Cruiserweight Champion, back in his mask, and comes out to Enter Sandman of all songs. As the announcer is doing the intros, La Hermanadad destroys everyone with chairs. Tiger gets up too and works over Lider, hitting a big double stomp off the top onto his chest.

Halloween climbs to the top of the cage for a huge dive, thinks better of it, and climbs down to escape. Smart man that painted freak. There are weapons in the cage too. That’s about the extent of the commentary I can give you here as everyone is fighting everyone and there’s no structure to the match at all, which is fine. Halloween is sitting in the aisle with a soda cheering Extreme Tiger on.

Someone ranas Tiger onto a trashcan and Lider hits a knee to the face of Evans. Tiger dropkicks a trashcan into Psychosis’ face as Guerrera escapes. Tiger gets on one of the beams across the top of the cage as Psychosis does the Terry Funk spinning ladder spot. Tiger hits a HUGE dive onto Halloween and Juvy, officially taking La Familia out of the match. In your twist of the match, Psychosis and Lider are fighting on top of the beam with Psychosis firing staples into Lider’s head. They’re partners but they entered the match for a chance to fight each other later. Psychosis gets to the floor.

To recap we have Lider, Evans, Hart and Chessman in the ring still. Evans does one of his WAY overdone flips to Lider before climbing the cage and moonsaulting off the beam. Evans escapes, leaving us with three people inside the cage. Halloween now has some popcorn to go with that soda. Hart hits some backbreakers on both guys followed by a moonsault off the cage.

Hart easily escapes and we’re down to Chessman vs. Lider. Lider crushes Chessman against a ladder and goes up, accepting help from Psychosis despite wanting to fight him. Chessman kicks Lider down though and escapes to send La Hermanadad to a match later tonight.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t so much of a match as much as it was a trainwreck with the focus entirely being on Lider and Psychosis. They were a long running feud so the blowoff being here tonight is a good thing and makes the most sense. The other teams were just kind of there but we got dives off the cage and the fans were into it which is a good thing.

Vampiro pops up post match and sends Chessman off the cage and through some tables. Chessman does a stretcher job.

Perry Aguayo is announced as the next inductee into the AAA Hall of Fame. Aguayo comes out and receives a plaque after giving a speech. As Perro celebrates, Mascara Ano 2000 and someone else from El Consejo come out and Mascara talks about losing his mask to Perro years ago. A challenge is thrown out for a hair vs. hair match, but since Perro is in his mid 60s he turns it down. For clarification’s sake, this is Mascara Ano 2000 senior. It’s his son that’s in the main event tonight.

Dorian Roldan, the Jarretts and Angle say they’ll win.

We recap the Psycho Circus vs. Consejo match. Best I can tell, they don’t like each other.

Los Psycho Circus/La Parka vs. El Consejo/Octagon

This is different than L.A. Park who we’ll see later. It’s the same gimmick but played by a different guy, which doesn’t sound like much but it was a HUGE ordeal back in the day and actually main evented this show two years ago. Los Psycho Circus is a group of clowns famous for a long winning streak and comprised of Murder Clown, Monster Clown and Psycho Clown.

El Consejo is Semental, El Texano Jr. and Toscano (the leader). La Parka comes out to Thriller and has ZOMBIE DANCERS, thereby making him awesome. This is a Relevos Australianos match, meaning the only way to win is to beat a captain, which would be Parka or Octagon. Usually these matches are 2/3 falls but this is one fall to a finish for no apparent reason.

Octagon jumps Parka in the aisle and the fight is on quickly. They’re old partners who hate each other now. I know I say this a lot, but I have absolutely no idea who most of these people are. One of the Consejo guys gets whipped by a belt to the back. As best as I can tell, Murder Clown is the big guy, and also the one launched through the air into a splash on a member of Consejo against the ropes. It doesn’t help that tagging doesn’t seem to be a rule in this tag match.

I think Psycho Clown gets triple teamed in the corner and triple kicked in the ribs as Octagon beats on Parka in the corner. Now we actually do settle down into a regular tag match with La Parka avoiding some double teaming, resulting in heel miscommunication. La Parka causes Octagon to kick two of his own partners before heading to the floor. Psycho and Monster come in and cause more heel miscommunication, followed by Murder Clown accidentally dropkicking both of his tent mates.

We get a WAY overdone six man tower of doom double superplex out of the corner before Parka dives on a heel on the floor. I believe it was Texano who got in a kick to one of the clowns before being sent to the floor as well. Apparently that was Monster Clown and he follows the guy I believe to be Texano to the floor with a big dive.

Psycho backdrops the other Consejo guy onto the two already outside before diving on both of them. Murder Clown goes up for the HUGE dive to take everyone out. That leaves the captains alone in the ring until Semental (FINALLY I’m sure who one of them is) tries to hold La Parka, only to get kicked low by mistake. In the confusion, Parka rolls up Octagon for the pin.

Rating: C-. Despite the fact that I spent most of the match trying to figure out who in the world I was watching, this was only ok. They basically took two feuds here and put them together into a single match, which is usually ok but when you have eight guys in those two feuds, it can be a little hard to keep track of. Also, Octagon and Parka came off as guys who happened to be opponents rather than people that hate each other, which brought the match down even more. It’s not bad though.

Post match Consejo attacks Octagon until La Parka makes the save. He asks Octagon to leave La Sociedad, but Octagon walks away. Consejo attacks Los Psycho Circus as a consolation prize.

Psychosis vs. Joe Lider

Psychosis hits Lider in the head with a chair before Lider’s name graphic can appear on screen. Lider shrugs it off and smacks Psychosis with a chair of his own before taking Psychosis’ mask. Apparently he’s insisting that this is a hair vs. hair match instead of a mask vs. hair match. That makes sense because, in the words of Chris Rock regarding Psychosis: “WE KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE!”

Lider, who has his head taped up from the staplegun attack earlier, goes after Psychosis with the same gun and the fans freak out. A neckbreaker puts Lider down because staples into the head doesn’t slow anyone down apparently. Psychosis grabs a pair of chairs (where do these things come from? No one went to the floor to get them and they were in the ring when the match started. Did I wake up in WWF War Zone?) and crushes Lider’s head a few times.

Psychosis goes up but has a trashcan (again, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?) placed on his head before getting slammed down onto the mat. Lider finds a ladder and smacks Psychosis in the head with it as we head to the apron. Psychosis fights back and slams Lider’s back into the apron before loading up a table against the apron. Back in and Psychosis goes up while holding a chair, only to get crotched on the top.

A top rope rana sends Psychosis into a trashcan for a VERY close two, which seems to be due to a crooked referee. Psychosis is part of Los Perros Del Mal which is part of La Sociedad. A chair shot puts Psychosis down and we’ve got a table. It’s already bent though, so Psychosis piles stuff on top of it. He goes up top and gets crotched again but as Lider loads up a superplex, Psychosis counters into a flip piledriver onto the ladder for the pin and Lider’s hair.

Rating: D. This match comes down to one question: do you like hardcore wrestling? If you do, you’ll like this match. If you don’t like it, you’ll hate this one. I’m not a fan of it and the match didn’t work as a result. Apparently this is a big and long feud so the people watching this would be more impressed with it than I was. I didn’t like the match for the most part but at least it was relatively short.

Psychosis puts Lider onto a pile of tacks before Lider gets a haircut.

Lider and Psychosis brawl even more in the back, meaning this likely isn’t over.

Jeff Jarrett/Kurt Angle vs. Electroshock/L.A. Park

Jeff, ever the super heel, throws tortillas to the fans as he comes to the ring. This is the battle of the Roldans, which is Dorian vs. Joaquin respectively. The losing team’s Roldan gets his head shaved. I always forget how hot Karen Jarrett is. Park has Bad to the Bone as his theme music, making him the coolest luchador I’ve seen so far tonight. Also he’s dropped the skeleton attire and looks like a big monster in blue which is pretty awesome.

Electroshock and Angle start things off and Kurt will have none of this handshake stuff. Instead he easily takes Electroshock to the mat and we start with some technical stuff. Angle snaps off an overhead belly to belly but gets dropkicked in the back when he poses. Off to Jarrett, who I believe holds the record for longest time as AAA World Champion. A spinwheel kick takes Jarrett to the floor as we hear about the members of the Foreign Legion over the years, which is almost every major non-WWE star since 1994 (yes even Sting).

Off to Park who fires off some kicks to Jeff but gets suplexed down by Angle for two. Park avoids a charge in the corner and dances a bit before snapping off a powerslam on Angle.

Jeff jumps Park from behind to take over but Electroshock gets the tag anyway. Park gets knocked to the floor and double teamed before Angle goes back in to beat on Electroshock a bit more. Kurt puts on a chinlock and Dorian comes in for some cheap shots as Jeff has the referee.

Jarrett comes back in and decks Park as Electroshock rolls to the outside. Karen tries to interfere but the referee grabs her by the hair and shakes her around. TAKE THAT HEBNER! Jeff kicks Electroshock low and Dorian gets in again. He gets in some more cheap shots and his papa weakly comes in to chase him off. With Electroshock in trouble, Dorian comes in AGAIN. The fans go nuts for something but the camera is so all over the place that I have no idea what I’m supposed to be happy over. Oh Dorian got ejected. Makes sense now.

As Dorian is leaving, he runs into Abyss of all people. Apparently Abyss is part of La Sociedad and escorts Dorian back to ringside because who is going to tell him not to? Karen kicks Park on the floor as Abyss pounds on Electroshock. Back in and Electroshock gets in a shot to Kurt’s face and we FINALLY get the hot tag to Park. House is cleaned but Abyss comes in and takes Park down. That doesn’t last long as Park knocks Abyss down and out to the floor, followed by a suicide dive for a BIG pop.

Dorian tries to come in again but his dad FINALLY does something about it. I’m not sure what that something was but apparently it was supposed to be a clothesline. The referee gets bumped (like it matters) and can’t count the pin on Jarrett. Abyss chokeslams Park (which is a confusing name given Abyss’ real name/brother character in TNA) but Electroshock comes in out of nowhere and hits a cutter on Angle for the pin to blow the roof off the place.

Rating: C+. It was overbooked but I think that’s more par for the course in Mexico than it is in America which means I can’t criticize it as a result. Good formula tag match here with the ending being exactly what the fans wanted to see. This would be the same as an AMERICAN team beating some foreign invaders which is one of the best and most sure ways to fire up a crowd. Good stuff here.

Dorian tries to run but Joaquin says come get what you earned. Konnan is here too and looks to be in shock. From what I can find/translate, Joaquin offers to let Dorian keep his hair if he’ll disband La Sociedad and rejoin the family. That must be what Konnan (the co-leader) was freaked out by. Dorian actually agrees, sending Jarrett into panic.

Joaquin says it’s done then but Park says no it isn’t and wants the hair gone. I think he tells Joaquin to be a father…..so Joaquin shaves his own hair? The father and son embrace…..BUT IT’S A SWERVE!!! Dorian decks his father and Angle, Jarrett and Abyss hold off Electroshock and Park so Dorian can shave his father’s head.

AAA World Title: Hijo De Perro Aguayo vs. El Mesias

Mesias is defending and Aguayo is the leader of Los Perros Del Mal and basically started the whole invasion. The fans are split here because Mesias (and his second, Cibernetico) are really popular but so are Los Perros. Apparently Aguayo put Mesias out for a few months earlier in the year to set this up. Oh and Aguayo won the King of Kings tournament. It’s a fast start with both guys running the ropes, only to have Aguayo clothesline Mesias down.

They trade some very fast armdrags before the champ hits a Thesz Press and some very slow punches. The fans don’t seem thrilled by Mesias so far. Aguayo misses a charge and falls to the floor where Cibernetico and Hector Garza, Aguayo’s second, talk a lot of trash to each other. Mesias rams Aguayo into the announce table a few times before heading back in for an X Factor for no cover.

A superplex gets two on Aguayo but he comes back with a knee to the ribs to take over. There’s another of those magically appearing chairs but it doesn’t get used yet. Now we’ve got a table in the corner which isn’t going to be used yet apparently. Aguayo puts the chair on Mesias’ chest and hits a top rope double stomp for two as Cibernetico pulls the referee out. Aguayo loads up a tombstone (illegal in Mexico) but Garza comes in and stops him. Hector misses a chair shot, putting Aguayo down and probably cutting his head. Mesias knocks Garza to the floor and gets two off a running powerslam.

Aguayo is busted open. A standing rana gets two for the champion and the fans are starting to get into this. Mesias gets two more off a Codebreaker and Perro is bleeding like crazy. It’s so bad that the doctor comes in to look at him, but Aguayo says keep it going. The doctor isn’t sure, so Perro DROPKICKS THE DOCTOR! A fast small package gets two for Perro but he walks into a jumping Downward Spiral and a bad spear through the table to keep the title on Mesias.

Rating: C. The blade job here was awesome but the moves around it weren’t so great. Mesias doesn’t look so much like a tough guy as he does a brawler with a beer gut. The fans were WAY into this though which makes me think the build to it was very solid stuff. Good enough stuff though for a newcomer and the crowd treated both guys like stars. That works for the world title match at the biggest show of the year.

Cibernetico gets in a shoving match with Aguayo’s father, only to have Mesias pull him away.

In the back, Garza is blamed for the loss. He would be thrown out of the group five days later.

We recap Wagner Jr. vs. Mascara Ano 2000, which is basically a battle of families. Both are from famous Mexican wrestling families and Mascara has beaten Wagner about five times setting up the match. Silver King, Wagner’s real life brother, is here with him. Wagner’s son (El Hijo de Dr. Wagner Jr., literally meaning the son of Dr. Wagner Jr.) is there too, as is Mascara Ano 2000 Sr.

Dr. Wagner Jr. vs Mascara Ano 2000 Jr.

This is also mask vs. mask. They slug it out to start with Wagner chopping Mascara down. A Samoan drop does the same thing as Wagner controls early. Mascara guillotines him down onto the top and we head to the floor. That goes nowhere so we go back in for a powerbomb for two for Mascara. The fans are totally behind Wagner. The beating continues until Wagner is busted open from the eye.

Mascara Sr. gets in and pounds away as well which is all cool apparently. All of that gets two as Silver King and Wagner III are all cool with letting this double team continue. Mascara Sr. has some kind of a spike that he keeps pounding at Wagner’s head with. Mascara Jr. accidentally kicks Mascara St. and the comeback is on. We head to the floor where Wagner hits a flip dive off the apron to put Mascara down again.

Wagner goes after Mascara Sr. and takes the spike from him before heading back in to shove the referee down. A Batista Bomb gets a VERY slow two on Mascara, causing Silver King to finally complain about something. Another powerbomb gets the same result and Wagner is getting ticked off. Mascara Sr. interferes again and his son finds a chair. Silver King FINALLY comes in with a chair….and turns on his brother. Fans throw in trash and Wagner III tries to come in but is beaten down as well.

Even that just gets two on Wagner though as the match continues. With Las Mascaras distracted, Wagner III sneaks a glass bottle to his dad (old plot point from 1993 when Mascara Sr. beat Perry Aguayo with a bottle shot to the head) and dropkicks down by Mascaras. The bottle shot to the head FINALLY puts Mascara down for the pin.

Rating: C-. Too overbooked for my taste again but this was the “send the fans home happy” moment and apparently Wagner is insanely popular so what better way to end the show with? The match was mainly Wagner getting double teamed and then turned on by his brother, but it didn’t do a very good job at building drama or anything, as Wagner hit one shot with the bottle to win and that was it.

Wagner Jr. and Mascara Sr. argue a lot about whose house this is until Mascara Jr.’s daughter does the unmasking. This is a MUCH bigger deal than it sounds like. Wagner Jr. celebrates for a long time before a highlight package ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This is a pretty big culture clash for me, as I’m used to the biggest show of the year feeling more serious than this. However, the fans seemed to love this and I think the good guys won every major match on the card. The show isn’t bad though and if you’ve never seen some lucha libre and can’t track down When Worlds Collide, this isn’t the worst show you could see. It’s available in full on Youtube from AAA themselves, but the matches are out of order as it was aired as three TV specials instead of one show, so the big matches are all at the end of episodes. Not bad, but not my style for the most part.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Wrestling Champions From Chicago
Date: April 5, 1963
Location: Chicago Coliseum, Chicago, Illinois
Attendance: 3,140
Commentator: Bob Elson

This is about ten days after my father turned ten years old. After holding the record for about two weeks, the Washington DC shows I did have lost their spot as the oldest show I’ve ever reviewed. This is presumably a TV show from the local promotion, which means I have no idea what to expect here. Bobo Brazil is in the main event and that’s all I’ve got. Let’s get to it.

The music sounds like something out of a circus which is fitting for a wrestling show.

Apparently this is the International Wrestling Alliance which I’ve never heard of.

Brute Bernard/Skull Murphy vs. Bavarian Boys

The Boys are Rudi Jacobs and Harry Wenzel. This is 2/3 falls and I have no idea who is who here. Brute and Harry start things off. Brute and Skull look almost identical so I’m in trouble with telling who is who. They double team Wenzel and a double kick to the chest gets two. After some more cheating it’s off to Murphy who is quickly taken to the mat. Jacobs comes in and works on the leg which fires up the crowd. The Boys are tiny by comparison so this is likely power vs. speed.

Jacobs gets Bernard tied up in the ropes and hits a cross body before bringing in Harry for some kicks to the face. Back to Jacobs for some dropkicks to a still tied up Bernard. They’re picking the pace up very quickly. Harry comes in again and they head to the mat for a chinlock/bite from Bernard. The heels (Bernard’s team) double teams Wenzel in the corner and we’re told that they only have until four to break rather than five. That’s interesting.

We get a modern classic as the hot tag is made but the referee doesn’t see it. Some things never change I guess. A double slam on Harry is enough for the first fall for Murphy and Bernard. To start the second fall, things break down for a bit until it’s down to Wenzel vs. Murphy. Harry takes him to the mat and tries a surfboard (called that here) but Bernard makes the save. Rudi comes in with a MISSILE DROPKICK (that was a HUGE spot back then) for only two.

Jacobs gets caught in the corner in the same sequence we had earlier on. Murphy gets thrown across the ring in a surprising power display by the much smaller Bavarians. Back to Bernard as everything breaks down again. Some near falls are broken up until it’s Murphy hiding in the corner from Wenzel. Harry scrapes Murphy’s eye with his boot and cranks away on the arm for a bit.

Back to Jacobs for a lot of whipping into the corner before putting on a leg lock that I can’t see the details of. Murphy blocks a snap mare attempt from Wenzel before Harry goes back to the arm. The idea of selling hadn’t quite been perfected at this point. Johnson comes back in for a bunch of dropkicks and gets a very fast submission off an abdominal stretch. Yep, very different time here.

The third fall begins with Murphy claiming a back injury and not wanting to face Wenzel anymore. The ever nice referee makes him come in anyway and things slow down a bit. We keep stalling for a few more minutes so it’s off to Jacobs instead. The big guys take over with some cheap double teaming until it’s down to Murphy vs. Wenzel again. Bernard comes in and finally gets in some offense with knees to the chest and a lot of stomping. This doesn’t last long as it’s quickly back to Jacobs but it was fun while it lasted.

Rudi pounds away in the corner and sends Brute flying before it’s off to Murphy again. Skull hides in the corner and brings Skull back in immediately. These are really fast paced tags. Murphy and Brute tag about three more times in fifteen seconds before we get down to Brute vs. Jacobs again. The abdominal stretch goes on (called the Cobra Twist here) Bernard again but Skull comes in with a headbutt, giving Bernard the winning pin on Jacobs to end the match.

Rating: B-. I don’t know if it’s the expectations for this to be slow because it’s old or what, but this match was REALLY fun. They played up the power vs. speed formula before the formula had been invented and it came off like a really entertaining match. I’m really surprised by that and it’s worth seeing more from these guys. Good stuff.

The Bavarian Boys complain about getting cheated. They have a right to and talks of a rematch are heard. Some German is also heard.

IWA World Title: Bobo Brazil vs. Moose Cholak

This is 2/3 falls as well and I think Bobo is challenging. Moose is a BIG guy, weighing well over 300lbs. His nickname is Golden and he wears headgear ala Rick Steiner. Moose wins a slugout to start and sends Bobo to the mat. Bobo isn’t a small guy at all either so this is going to be a brawl I’d assume. They slug it out again and Bobo takes him down this time before putting on a quick chinlock.

Moose punches him into the corner but Bobo comes back with chops. He goes after Moose’s headgear but can’t quite get it off. Moose headbutts Bobo (Bobo’s finisher) and they slug it out again. Bobo staggers him with a headbutt of his own so they head to the mat. Moose kicks away at the leg and cannonballs down on it like Flair. Bobo shrugs that off and works on the arm a bit. Moose is whipped into the corner and literally the ring moves. Out of nowhere Cholak hits a knee to the chest and a splash for the first fall.

Bobo chokes him into the corner to start the second fall and goes after the gear again. We hit the chinlock again before Moose bails to the apron. Moose misses a charge in the corner and Bobo backdrops him down to tie us up at a fall apiece. Moose takes him to the mat by the arm to start the third fall. There’s a half nelson by the champ into a bodyscissors as we kill some time. After a few two counts in the bodyscissors by Moose, Bobo escapes and puts on a chinlock of his own.

The champ makes it to a rope as we’re told that the curfew is almost up. They go to a test of strength and I think you know what’s going to happen here. Bobo is in trouble but headbutts his way out of trouble. Instead of power, Brazil tries to take it to the mat but winds up in the ropes instead. Cholak goes after the leg again in a hold that looks like a cover.

Bobo hooks a headscissors but Moose hooks one of his own at the same time. Basically they look like they’re…..never mind. Moose headbutts away a bit more to take over but it seems to tick Bobo off. He chops away in the corner and hits the Coco Butt which is acting way more like a signature move than a finisher. They slug it out until the curfew and the draw.

Rating: C. This would have been WAY better if they cut out about five minutes of the time killing. Bobo was always a crowd favorite because he had a ton of charisma. I’m not familiar with Cholak but he did pretty well out there. He makes for a solid heel champion, even though I can’t find much information on this particular title.

Moose insists on being announced as champion. He wants a rematch with more time, despite saying Bobo is a poor sport.

Overall Rating: B-. I enjoyed this a lot more than I expected to. They had some very solid matches on here and promos to set up rematches when one ended with cheating and another in a draw. I’d love to see some more from this territory as the show was really entertaining. Good stuff here and worth checking out.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWA: The Revolution
Date: February 24, 2002
Location: Aladdin Casino Center, Las Vegas, Nevada
Attendance: 2,800
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Mark Madden

This is the second of five PPVs these guys did and this time they’re stateside. Also they’re not taped this time, but I’m not sure how close to live this is. The major new name in town is Eddie Guerrero, who was released from the WWF for drunk driving in late 2001. Another name here is Grandmaster Sexay who is somehow getting a world title match tonight. Let’s get to it.

Apparently the main event was supposed to be Savage vs. Jarrett but Savage isn’t there. Neither is Road Dogg who was in the main event of the first show. Oh this doesn’t bode well.

We open with some band singing a rock song about Revolution. Apparently it’s Tantric, who I think has done some stuff for TNA.

Here’s Andre McManus to welcome us to the show and tell us that Savage won’t be there. Again, why does this take so long?

Opening sequence, which is basically a video recap of the last show.

Apparently this is indeed live. Ok then.

Nova vs. Low Ki vs. Tony Mamaluke vs. Christopher Daniels vs. Shark Boy vs. Low Ki

Elimination rules here and no one gets an entrance. It’s probably a good thing that they have to tag here. Styles vs. Mamaluke to start and they trade arm control. The camera keeps changing angles and it’s getting annoying. Mamaluke is bleeding from the nose as he hits a German to send AJ down onto his shoulder. Shark Boy comes in to fight Tony and gets clotheslined down.

Nova is standing on the floor, drinking water. Shark Boy hits an atomic drop and bites the place where his knee went. Off to Low Ki who gets atomic dropped as well, but comes back with a kick to Shark Boy’s head before he gets bitten. Daniels vs. Low Ki now and you know the strikes are coming here. A Capo Kick staggers Daniels and Nova gets tagged so hard that he spills his drink.

Apparently Nova is a businessman now. I’ve never seen a businessman in workout pants and no shirt but whatever. He works on Daniels’ arm a bit before it’s back to Low Ki. A double gordbuster puts Daniels down and it’s off to Mamaluke. There are the kicks from Low Ki and a double suplex by Ki and Sharky, but there was no tag so Shark Boy’s cover gets no count.

Things start to break down a bit as Sharky Boy and Mamaluke go to the floor for some dives. They wind up in the crowd (which is carpeted) as AJ pounds on Nova in the ring. Nova hooks a modified Crossface which goes nowhere because they’re not legal. Shark Boy hits a top rope rana on Mamaluke for two, even though the referee’s hand hit the mat three times. Low Ki comes in and hits a cartwheel kick on the distracted Shark Boy for the first elimination.

Off to AJ vs. Low Ki as the camera angles start to show a few details about the “arena”. There’s no ramp that I can see, and all of the seats are opposite the screen. I believe they’re in a theater, which is a really weird visual and atmosphere. Low Ki hits a HARD kick to the head (I’m shocked) but AJ comes back with forearms to the head. Both guys hit cross bodies so it’s off to Mamaluke vs. Daniels.

An STO kills Mamaluke who is a bloody mess. Daniels loads up the BME (I think) but Styles breaks it up for no apparent reason. AJ gets knocked down (I think. The camera direction here is a nightmare) so Mamaluke hits a belly to back off the top for two. Daniels hits the Angel’s Wings for no cover, instead tagging in Styles for the Clash to get us down to four people.

Nova comes in with a backbreaker on Styles for two before it’s back to Daniels vs. Styles. Even before TNA existed this was happening a lot. Styles tags in Low Ki who strikes away even harder on Daniels. Low Ki charges into a spinning electric chair of all things and a top rope elbow from Nova gets two on the kicking dude. Nova goes up and gets crotched, but as Low Ki goes up, he gets elbowed down into the Tree of Woe. Low Ki sits up and pulls Nova down into a rear naked choke while they’re both upside down.

Daniels comes in and is immediately thrown out, followed by everyone going to the floor. Daniels dives onto Low Ki so Styles hits a Shooting Star Press to the floor. This camera work is REALLY annoying as it either keeps cutting away or it has awkward shots of everything. Back in the ring, Low Ki loads up a rana on Nova, but Daniels runs the corner and hits a top rope Rock Bottom on Low Ki for the elimination.

Nova dropkicks Daniels to the floor so it’s Styles vs. Nova legally I guess. AJ is busted too. Everyone is in now and Daniels kicks Nova down and AJ gets two off a neckbreaker to Christopher. Daniels takes AJ down and hits the BME for two. There’s a dragon sleeper to AJ but Nova hooks a standing Last Chancery on Daniels at the same time. Nova grabs Daniels from behind but Styles sunset flips Nova, sending Daniels flying in the suplex.

AJ shoves Nova off the top and counters Daniels’ rana into a middle rope Styles Clash to get us down to one on one. A pair of rollups get two for Nova, as does a Downward Spiral. AJ gets two of his own off a German and Tessmacher’s current finisher (Tesshocker if you’re a big wrestling geek like me). They both go up with Nova hitting a C4 off the top (flipping Downward Spiral) for the final pin. Not much build to that.

Rating: B. Take six young and small guys, throw them in one match, let them have fun. AJ and Low Ki looked like the stars here, which they would be for all intents and purposes. Nova was already a name, Mamaluke never went anywhere, Shark Boy would become a cult favorite, and Daniels would become a decent sized star of his own right. Still though, fun match and AJ looked good in it, which shouldn’t shock anyone.

The announcers talk a bit, including mentioning that Scott Steiner is returning to the ring tonight.

Here’s Commissioner Bret Hart. His entrance takes WAY longer than it should but they’ve got a lot of time to fill in I guess. He says he never expected to be in a ring again, so thanks for having him. Bret talks about how there’s a combination of established names and young guns here tonight and it’s going to be a great show. As for the main event, there’s no Randy Savage. Of all people, he picks BRIAN CHRISTOPHER to main event the show with Jarrett. Good freaking grief. Does the name EDDIE GUERRERO mean nothing to you?

Bret goes into a strange discussion of 9/11 and says he considered himself a North American. Those people (the terrorists) don’t speak to the world, and that’s why he’s a part of this company. Now he’s talking about the Canadian hockey team, drawing boos. Now he says go take out Bin Laden. What in the world was he thinking when he was talking here? I know he’s not a promo guy, but this was BIZARRE.

Allan Funk, arguably more famous as Kwee Wee, is doing a bad Hogan imitation and talking to two midget wrestlers about how he’ll teach people to drop a leg on someone.

Alan Funk vs. Reno

Funk does the full on Hogan bit here and while he looks like Hogan (minus 6 inches or so), this isn’t exactly hilarious. Reno was an intense guy from WCW in 2000. Funk hits a release powerbomb drop and rips his shirt off. A kind of slam (more like a faceplant) gets two for Funk but Reno blocks a suplex to take over. Reno pounds away for a bit and hits an overhead belly to belly (kind of. Funk landed on his shoulder). Funk comes back with a slingshot sunset flip for two but Reno clotheslines him down.

Off to the chinlock by Reno, followed by a suplex for two. Funk Hulks Up but Reno ducks the big boot and punches Funk down. Reno Rolls the Dice (Cross Rhodes) but doesn’t cover. Instead he goes up and jumps into Funk’s boot because the script calls for Funk to make a comeback here. He pounds Reno down, hits a piledriver and drops the leg for the pin. Apparently he’s the Funkster.

Rating: D. And……so? Reno was nothing, Funk was nothing, the Hogan imitation has been done WAY better before (Showster for instance), and the match wasn’t any good. Funk would go on to be Women’s Champion in TNA and Reno would more or less disappear off the face of the Earth. I don’t think a search party was ever sent for him either.

Scott Steiner arrives with about six chicks.

Disco Inferno comes out to complain about not getting to face Brian Christopher tonight. He’s going to issue an open challenge for later but for now he’s jumping in on commentary. They banter for a few minutes.

Kronik vs. Native Blood

No idea who the jobbers are here but they’ve got an Indian gimmick. Kronik (Adams and Clark) destroy the jobbers before the bell, then proceed to destroy them after the bell. They pound on each other on the floor, followed by a full nelson shove down to the fat Indian in the ring. Now Clark pounds away as this is going badly already. A release Rock Bottom puts the less fat Indian guy. Native Blood comes back with a double dropkick on Clark, so Adams comes in with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Clark hits the Meltdown (pump handle powerslam) for two and High Times (double chokeslam) ends one of the jobbers.

Rating: D-. This was a five minute squash. What in the world are we supposed to get out of something like this? Clark and Adams had a horrible run for about a week in WWE and this is more or less the last time anyone say them. The jobbers were exactly what their names suggest: there to get beaten up. Nothing to see here and it was sloppy on top of that.

Terry Taylor talks to one of the midgets and it’s that idiot Puppet from TNA. This turns into a rendition of God Bless America.

Girls dance.

Tio vs. Puppet

They’re hardcore midgets (Yeah I know. I’m not always politically correct. Get over it) and they start fighting on the ramp. Madden keeps cracking jokes that the crowd can hear so the audience is laughing during violence. Tio puts Puppet in a garbage can and beats on him with a chair. Puppet is down on the ground and Tio actually goes up top for a splash to the floor. That gets two on the floor because this is a hardcore match.

They head inside as Disco and Madden are riffing on the match like crazy. Puppet comes back with a powerslam for two followed by a Jackhammer for the same. A guy that looks like Rikishi yells at Puppet from the front row as the place is silent other than when Madden cracks a joke. Puppet hooks a reverse Boston Crab (Tio is in the regular position but Puppet is shoving Tio’s legs forward instead of pulling back on them) which doesn’t last that long.

Tio comes back with middle rope punches and a middle rope rana….which gets two for Puppet for some reason. Tio sends him into a trashcan but misses a Swanton off the top. They head to the stage with Puppet pulling out a bag of thumbtacks. A Death Valley Driver onto said tacks ends Tio.

Rating: D+. I usually hate these things but this one at least seemed like they were trying. Puppet would go on to be VERY annoying in TNA, making Horny seem like the most entertaining character in years. This wasn’t much of a match, but at least they had some effort and some of the jokes weren’t bad.

Immediately after the pin, here’s Scott Steiner to destroy both guys. Steiner runs his mouth for a bit and grabs Disco Inferno for a match.

Disco Inferno vs. Scott Steiner

Total dominance by Steiner that ends with the Steiner Recliner in about two minutes. Disco got in as much offense as a career comedy character would on a big name power guy.

Cruiserweight Title: Juventud Guerrera vs. Psychosis vs. Eddie Guerrero

Psychosis won the title at a house show since the last PPV. The mic is broken so we hear “ladies and gentlemen” about six times before the entrances get going, and even then they have to go very fast to catch up with the wrestlers. They grab a three way lockup to start and everybody hits everybody else. This is one fall to a finish. Eddie sends Juvy to the floor but Psychosis sends them both out there and hits a big flip dive to take them both out.

Back in and Juvy gets two off a top rope spinwheel kick on the champ. The camera work continues to SUCK as it’s all over the place, which is weird when there are only three people to watch. Psychosis misses a charge into the corner and the sound when he hits the post is SICK. Juvy gets two off a super rana on Eddie before walking into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. Eddie hits a brainbuster on Psychosis for two before getting thrown to the floor.

The luhadores fight in the ring with Juvy getting two off a facebuster. Guerrero gets back in and gets chopped against the ropes by the champ. He comes back with a suplex on Psychosis as this keeps going all over the place. To say there’s not much chemistry here is an understatement. Juvy kicks Eddie low to break up a German suplex as the match continues to slow down.

Guerrera heads to the floor as Psychosis works on Eddie’s leg. Juvy comes back in and drops a leg for two. The crowd is DEAD for this. The guys keep stumbling from spot to spot and there’s no flow or story in this match at all. Eddie gets double suplexed to the floor and Juvy hits Rey’s sitout bulldog for two. Eddie avoids a double dropkick and everyone is down.

Psychosis gets put on top by Eddie but Juvy superplexes Guerrero down. Psychosis legdrops both guys but both challengers save the other. Juvy bulldogs both guys for two each and gets the same on Psychosis off a DDT. Eddie decks Guerrera, shoves Psychosis off the top and hits the Frog Splash on the champ for the pin and the title.

Rating: D. This was AWFUL. There was zero chemistry here at all and the match wasn’t entertaining. I don’t know if it was rust from Eddie or that Juvy and Psychosis turned into hacks once they left WCW and stopped caring, but this was a terrible match. Eddie would be back in WWE in like two months anyway and would never lose that title.

Eddie rips on the fans for chanting WHAT post match. He rants about his personal issues until Jerry Lynn comes out to complain. Lynn would be another guy that has more business in the main event than Christopher by the way. They argue and then brawl. Both guys came off as heels here, with Eddie getting on the fans and Jerry making fun of Eddie for being a drug addict. Lynn survives a beating and takes Eddie out.

More dancing chicks.

Sabu vs. Devon Storm

No DQ, because neither guy is seemingly capable of doing a regular match. Sabu works on the arm to start in a token wrestling sequence. Storm (called Chris, his real first name, by Borash) hits a German suplex on Sabu but the Arabian from Michigan hits a springboard leg lariat. They head to the floor to get to the part that they’re on the card for. They load up the steps and Storm tries to suplex Sabu off of them, but Sabu lands on the ropes and falls back onto the steps. This is getting bad already.

Back in and Sabu is bleeding and in control. There’s the camel clutch and Storm looks asleep. Sabu lets go, allowing Devon to come back with a headscissors and legdrop (popular move tonight) for two. A northern lights suplex gets two more for Storm and we hit the chinlock. After more boring stuff they head to the floor for Air Sabu against the barricade.

Fonzie (Sabu’s manager) loads up a table but Storm drops Sabu onto the barricade. He drops him onto the steps as well as this keeps going. Storm tries a sunset bomb over the top and through the table. Instead, Storm’s foot hits but doesn’t break the table and Sabu doesn’t hit the table at all. Storm (called Crowbar here) breaks up an Asai Moonsault attempt through the table but gets caught by a legdrop back inside.

The first chair is brought in and goes upside Storm’s head. Air Sabu hits in the corner and Storm lands on the chair. Storm breaks up the Triple Jump Moonsault by sending Sabu face first into the chair. A Death Valley Driver onto the chair has Sabu mostly dead but it only gets two. A splash gets the same for Devon and there’s a slam onto the chair. Storm hits a slingshot flipping legdrop onto the chair onto Sabu’s face for two.

We head to the floor again because why not do it, and there’s a pescado by Storm. Storm hits a splash off the apron and drops Sabu onto the barricade (it only took two tries to get it right). Back in the ring Sabu blocks a powerbomb onto two chairs and hits a suplex onto the chairs instead. Arabian Facebuster with the chair hits….and there’s no cover. Sabu goes up and Storm pelts a chair at him.

Fonzie sets up another table, this one up against the barricade. Storm is placed against the table and according to the first law of wrestling, Sabu misses the dive through it. Back in and Storm hits a Mindbender (front suplex) for two. FOR THE LOVE OF FREAKING GOODNESS END THE MATCH ALREADY! A frog splash gets two more for Storm and the go up again because this hasn’t gone on enough. Sabu counters a belly to back superplex into a cross body for two.

They go up top for like the 84^th time and Sabu shoves him off for no apparent reason. Sabu tries a rana but Storm counters into a rollup….AND FREAKING FONZIE PULLS THE REFEREE OUT. Sabu dives on both of them again and hits a something back in the ring. No idea what it was because the stupid camera angle missed it, but apparently it was beautiful according to JB. Considering JB booked this show, I have a feeling he’s lying. Fonzie hits Sabu in the head with the most clearly choreographed chair shot by mistake and Storm rolls him up for the win at TWENTY MINUTES AND THIRTY EIGHT SECONDS.

Rating: S. As in Seven. As in Seven People. As in Steve Austin, Chris Jericho, Hulk Hogan, HHH, Undertaker, Shawn Michaels and Brock Lesnar. These are the seven people that the WWE felt were capable of having one on one matches this long on PPV (and two of them were inside the Cell). Think about that. Guys like the Rock, Benoit, Angle, Edge and Rey Mysterio weren’t trusted with matches that long, but SABU AND DEVON STORM WERE??? This match alone brings the whole show down at least a letter.

Post match, Sabu puts Storm through a table off the big screen, because this hasn’t gotten enough time yet.

The West Hollywood Blondes do gay things because that’s funny right?

Here’s LARRY FREAKING ZBYSZKO with something to say. Larry talks about the only interesting thing he did as a wrestler ever: feuding with Bruno back in 1980. Then he talks about his career back in 1972, because EVERYONE wants to hear about this. Oh apparently Vince sucks. That’s what this is about: Vince sucks. Jericho is called too short to be believed as a world champion and he wants to fight Vince in a match. Larry rants some more and I just don’t care. ANOTHER ten minutes plus wasted here.

West Hollywood Blondes vs. Rick Steiner/Ernest Miller

Miller says if they lose to the girly men, he’ll kiss Madden in a fat area. Since they wasted so much time with Bret talking about hockey, Larry wasting our time, and SABU GETTING TWENTY FIVE MINUTES TOTAL, this lasts a minute with Miller kicking Lenny in the head for the pin.

Miller yells at Madden post match but there’s only one match left so I don’t care. Granted I didn’t care anyway but now I’ve got a reason to.

WWA World Title: Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett

I’ve complained about Christopher enough so far. Christopher makes gay jokes about Jarrett to start but says he wants to death. Jarrett tosses him around to start and there’s the strut. Christopher comes back with a clothesline to send Jeff to the floor….and then he lowers his pants. A neckbreaker puts Jarrett right back on the floor as we’re firmly in a Memphis formula: do a move, play to the crowd a lot, then do another move and play to them more.

They fight into the crowd, and by fight I mean punch once and walk a lot, and we lose track of them. Brian gets a drink thrown in his face and Jeff chokes him a bit. We finally get back to ringside with Brian shaking off everything that’s been done to him so far. A charge misses in the corner and Brian gets crotched. Naturally, Jarrett poses. A cross body gets two for Brian and it’s off to a sleeper from Jeff.

After nearly two minutes of that, Brian hooks his own sleeper for a few seconds. A kick puts Jeff down and an enziguri (clearly missing by about six inches) gets two. Tornado DDT gets two more and they head to the floor. Brian superkicks a referee by mistake and we head back in. Christopher “hits” a guillotine legdrop for two from a replacement referee…and the referees start fighting. Jeff wins with a guitar shot and Stroke on the belt (there was a referee brawl in between the moves).

Rating: D. Standard match that really was a big brawl with some wrestling moves thrown in. In other words, the WCW main event formula minus five run-ins. Christopher was never believable as a main event threat here because HE’S FREAKING BRIAN CHRISTOPHER. Nothing to see here but it was probably the best match of the second half of the show.

Overall Rating: F-. There was a good opener and those guys are all exempt from what I’m about to say. Actually so are the midgets because they were at least trying. THIS SHOW SUCKED! If someone doesn’t show up, that’s understandable. It’s not optimal but it happens.

That being said, USE YOUR FREAKING HEADS and don’t put a comedy tag team wrestler in the world title match when you have names like Jerry Lynn, Sabu, Eddie Guerrero, Rick Steiner (yes, even he would be better), Scott Steiner, or even Nova because he won the opener available to go out there and be MUCH more believable as a threat to Jarrett.

No, instead we had Sabu and Devon Storm using the same spots (count the splashes by Storm) and blown spots all over the place (count the botches in the twenty minute monstrosity) and a minute long match between a random pair of WCW guys with zero history at all and Bret Hart rambling about being a North American and Larry wanting to fight Vince. Eddie coming in was kind of a big deal, but his match SUCKED because Psychosis and Juvy both dogged it all night. NOTHING to see here after the opener and this promotion is in big trouble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

WWA: The Inception
Date: January 6, 2002 (Taped October 26, 2001)
Location: Sydney SuperDome, Sydney, Australia
Attendance: 8,500
Commentators: Jeremy Borash, Jerry Lawler

Now here’s one you may have heard of but probably have never seen. Once WCW and ECW went out of business, there were a lot of wrestlers that didn’t go to WWF. Well a lot of them got together and went on an international tour. This was before TNA so this was likely the most recognized talent pool outside of WWF. I have no idea what to expect here but it could be fun. The WWA stands for World Wrestling All-Stars in case you’re curious. Let’s get to it.

Jeremy Borash, one of the people behind this show, welcomes us to the first ever show and an Australian girl band sings the Australian national anthem.

A pretty standard opening video airs. Since this was taped months before it aired, we get clips of the show we’re about to watch.

There are BIG sections of empty seats visible.

JB is about to introduce the first match but more pyro and music cuts him off. It’s Bret Hart, the WWA Commissioner, with presumably the world title belt. Bret has never been in a ring in Australia before and he apologizes to the fans for taking so long to get here. It was about a year ago that he got released from WCW and he hasn’t watched any wrestling since then.

A few weeks ago he came down here to do some promotional work. After doing a TV show, he heard about 9/11 and he couldn’t get out of the country. He praises the people of Australia for making him feel welcome during that time, but now it’s back to wrestling. Bret isn’t going to be a token commissioner. Whoever wins the title is going to have to work very hard. Now we get to the WWF, which Bret isn’t thrilled with.

Hart talks about being world champion in the WWF and how no one in that company ever beat him. Then he was in WCW and the last thing he remembers is no one beating him for that title either. He runs down Goldberg, Rock, Austin and especially Vince because none of them ever beat him. Bret says tonight whoever wins this title is going to be get the torch handed to them. He says the WWA has integrity and it’s time to let the fun begin.

JB and Jerry talk about how the title will be awarded. It’s called the Seven Deadly Sins Tournament, meaning seven matches with seven different gimmicks. The title match will be in a cage.

We hear about some of the non-tournament matches which seem pretty weak. Luna Vachon vs. Gangrel in a Black Wedding match (whatever that means) and Norman Smiley vs. Crowbar in a hardcore match. Ok then. We also get the first round tournament matches, two of which are hardcore matches, one of which is a battle royal, and one of which that isn’t listed.

International Cruiserweight Title/Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Psychosis vs. Juventud Guerrera

So not only is this for the company’s Cruiserweight Title, it’s also in the world title tournament and is a ladder match. Don’t overbook anything there guys. Also since this isn’t the first event for the company, Psychosis already won the title at a house show before this event, but the title was stripped so that the “first” champion could be crowned here. Psychosis won the first one in case you were wondering. Juvy gets on the mic before the match and does his Rock imitation which never was all that funny to me.

Something very different about this show is that the commentary comes through the PA system, meaning the fans can hear it. They head into the corner to start with Psychosis taking over. Juvy comes back with a spinwheel kick and a tornado DDT as things speed up. They head to the floor with Juvy shoving the ladder down so that the top of it slams into Psychosis’ head. FREAKING OW MAN!

Back inside and Psychosis dropkicks the ladder into Juvy’s face, only to get it sling shotted into his own face. Psychosis is busted open bad. Back inside and the fans aren’t all that thrilled with this. Juvy hits a loud chop in the corner and the ladder is laid across the top rope. Juvy tries a sunset flip which means nothing in this so it’s back to the ladder. Jerry suggests going for the belt. Gee thanks King. Juvy gets draped across the top rope and Psychosis hits a guillotine legdrop across the back of his head.

We get the first attempt at going up the ladder but Juvy hits a springboard missile dropkick to take the ladder out and send Psychosis into the top rope. Juvy gets another ladder for some reason but just like earlier, Psychosis dropkicks the ladder into Juvy to knock him down.

Back in and Juvy rams Psychosis into the ladder before climbing up and hitting some kind of a dive which doesn’t really keep going once he hits Psychosis. The ladder falls down and hits the referee but he’s fine because it wasn’t a planned bump. They both go up the ladder with Juvy hitting a sunset bomb to kill Psychosis. He adds a 450 for good measure and climbs up to win the title.

Rating: C+. This was a fun spot fest and that’s about all you need for it to be. I’m not a big fan of the idea of just throwing two guys out there and saying the winner of this is champion, but at least it was fun in the process. The high spots in this were pretty good too and for what it was, this was a solid opener.

Some chicks called the Starettes dance. By dance I mean pose while moving a little bit.

Nathan Jones arrives with some celebrity. Lenny and Lodi, the gay tag team, greets him but he has nothing to say.

Disco Inferno needs security.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Konnan vs. Jesse James

This is one of the matches listed as a hardcore match earlier but here’s it’s announced as a dog collar (four corners variety) match. James of course is the Road Dogg who was released from WWF soon before this. He’s billed as Road Dogg Jesse James which is kind of surprising. Oh wait make that Road Dog. Big difference there. Konnan jumps Dogg during his intro and does his own version of it while holding up the Mexican Heavyweight Title.

Konnan rips into Road Dogg for being the only member of DX to get fired which fires up Roadie, but a belt shot puts him right back down. They’re attached by the chain now, but it’s a long enough chain that Dogg can be choked over the top rope while Konnan is on the floor on the other side of the ring. Back in and Konnan hits the Rolling Thunder clothesline and stomps away a bit. Konnan gets three corners but Roadie hits him low with the chain.

Road Dogg gets two corners but Konnan chokes away some more. Apparently you can win by pinfall here too. Thanks for letting us know halfway through the match. Road Dogg gets put in the Tree of Woe and Konnan hits a quick dropkick for no cover. Konnan hits ten punches in the corner but Dogg hits him low to break it up.

Dogg gets two corners but just like earlier, the chain goes between the legs to break it up. After three more buckles for Dogg, Konnan rips his own collar off and pulls out a metal pole of some kind to hit Dogg in the head. He takes the collar off again and goes up with the pole, only to jump into a boot to the face. Dogg hogties him, simulates anal rape, and slaps all four corners for the win.

Rating: D. This was a mess for the most part with the pinfalls being an option meaning nothing at all. Both guys were all over the place and it never got going as a brutal match. Again, that’s the problem with gimmick matches for the sake of having gimmick matches: there’s no reason to have the gimmicks and the match doesn’t have any extra heat as a result.

We see some models getting ready for a Skin to Win match. Jerry freaks of course. One of them happens to be a man. Literally. Lawler, who liked the view before the guy turned around, ERUPTS when he sees the crotch bulge.

Devon Storm vs. Norman Smiley

Storm is more famous as Crowbar. This isn’t a tournament match. Norman comes out dressed like a basketball player as is his custom. A quick cross body gets two for Storm but he gets sent to the floor. We get the first garbage can but the lid gets slammed on Storm’s head. The can of weapons is thrown into the ring and Storm guillotines Smiley on the rope and hits a slingshot splash for no cover.

Storm hits a moonsault onto a chair onto Norman to hurt both guys. Norman starts dancing but gets a stick to his head for his efforts. Storm’s suicide dive runs into a chair and it’s table time. After the Big Wiggle (arguably more simulated anal sex. There’s at least male on male spanking), Norman can’t suplex Storm through the table. Devon is busted but he dropkicks a trashcan into Smiley.

A slingshot plancha puts Smiley through the table but despite Storm staying on top of Norman, there’s no count. Smiley comes back and whips Storm into the barricade before putting a trashcan over him. Norman pounds away with a chair before they head up the ramp. A low blow breaks up another Big Wiggle and the brawl goes to the back. Norman is put in a cart and rammed into Disco Inferno who of course overreacts.

They come back into the arena with Norman getting wheelbarrow slammed onto a piece of barricade laid on its side. Storm pulls out another table but cracks Norman in the head with a trashcan lid first. Another table is stacked on top of the first table and Norman starts screaming. Norman escapes a powrbomb and slams Storm onto a trashcan. After some dancing by Norman, he gets slammed into the can just as easily.

Storm puts him on the top table and after climbing up the set, dives through Norman and the two tables with a big splash. It’s one of those spots that looks a lot better than it actually was. Norman reaches over and covers the dead Storm for the pin. After the big spot of the match, Storm doesn’t even get to win? Lame.

Rating: D. This went on WAY too long. It’s the longest match of the night so far, running about ten minutes. The problem with these matches is that once you see them beat on each other for about five minutes, the next four and a half before the big spot aren’t very interesting as it’s the same stuff we’ve seen already. Not awful, but WAY too long and Norman getting the win is kind of stupid.

Disco runs into two fruits in the back. Literally, they’re guys dressed as bananas. That’s not a euphemism or anything. They’re men dressed like a yellow fruit that you peel and eat that has a lot of potassium in it. Disco: “I SAID I WANTED TWO SUITS! NOT TWO FRUITS!” Comedy ladies and gentlemen!

We get some brackets but they don’t make a lot of sense.

???

Road Dogg

Battle Royal

Jeff Jarrett

Front Row

Juvy won and his match is listed in the first column of the brackets, but he’s not in the second round. I have no idea what Front Row is either. Ah apparently Juvy has broken ribs and can’t go on so he’ll be replaced instead of Dogg getting a bye. Nathan Jones is Front Row. One, what kind of a nickname is Front Row? Second, why put that instead of his name?

Stevie Ray is with Bret and I have no idea what Ray asked Bret. The battle royal is now an open invitational to anyone who works for the WWA. Stevie asks if he can get in on this and Bret says go for it.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Battle Royal

Buff Bagwell, Stevie Ray, Devon Storm, Norman Smiley, Disco Inferno, Jerry Lawler

That’s it. Six guys is all they could find and apparently before this, there were only four. That’s not much of a battle royal. Disco and Bagwell are the first two out and brawl before the match starts. Ray comes in as well, as do Smiley and Storm. Yeah I spoiled the people in it. Get over it. King throws Borash into the match as well so I guess there are seven people in it now? Ray puts Borash out almost immediately as referees and a cameraman get in. Disco throws out Storm so Storm jumps in on commentary. Borash was eliminated somewhere in there.

Some chick in a gold dress gets in as JB gets back on commentary. Jerry slams the girl down and the girl eliminates herself. Both referees are thrown out so we’re down to Bagwell, Ray, Smiley, Disco and Lawler. All four agree to jump Ray but only Disco winds up charging. They do it again and this time it’s Disco and Smiley that charge him. The Fruits in Suits (they’re in pajamas, so I guess they’re the Bananas in Pajamas which is a kids TV show from this era) come down as well because I guess there’s no time limit for getting in. Ray gets dumped and Lawler does the Big Wiggle on Smiley.

Norman hits Lawler low and tries to eliminate him but Buff puts them both out. The Fruits never got in the ring and we’ve got Disco vs. Buff. Buff hits a cross between a double arm DDT and a Pedigree as Disco is reeling. Disco comes back with a swinging neckbreaker before we get, I kid you not, the Village People’s Elbow. Ok that was kind of funny. The Fruits get in and eliminate Disco but Buff throws them both out to go on to the semi-finals.

Rating: C. Yeah it was a comedy match, but it wasn’t bad at being funny. When you reach the point where it’s so insane that it’s funny, a match like this can work. At the end of the day, the (arguably) biggest name in the match won and it didn’t last long. This was fine for what it was and I can’t actually complain that much about it.

Lawler goes after the Fruits to get an interview.

The girl in the gold dress is apparently an interviewer. The celebrity and Nathan Jones make sex jokes and aren’t worried about Jarrett tonight.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament First Round: Jeff Jarrett vs. Nathan Jones

This is another one that was listed as a hardcore match but here it’s a guitar on a pole. Jarrett is in his old WCW shirt so I’d bet on a lawsuit soon. Jeff says he’s the chosen one with all the stroke and that he’ll win the title. Basically the same thing he said in every promo in his last WCW run. He says he’s in charge of things now instead of Bret and he calls out Jones to fight. You know, like Bret said we should do.

You might remember Jones from a cup of coffee he had in the WWE in 2003 but he never went anywhere. The guy is 7’0 tall and a ripped martial artist (who looks a lot like bald Kane actually), but he makes Khali looked like a ring general. Jones is also Australian so the place goes nuts for him. Jeff gets in some right hands but Jones big boots him down and loads up a chokeslam. Not only does he look like Kane but he wrestles like him too.

The chokeslam is broken up but a side slam puts Jeff down. I think you win by pin here. They head to the floor with Jarrett running from Jones. Back in and Jones hits a top rope clothesline to take Jeff down but as he goes for the guitar he gets hit low and crotched. Jeff gets the guitar, kills the celebrity (apparently a talk show host) with it, and hits the Stroke on Jones to advance.

Rating: D+. This didn’t have time to go anywhere. The problem at the end of the day for Jones was that he just wasn’t that good. He looked like an absolute monster but he just didn’t have what it took to work in the ring. The WWE pulled him from Wrestlemania because they didn’t think he could survive on a live broadcast. Think about that for a minute.

The Starettes waste more time.

Here’s Lawler again to interview the Fruits. He calls them to the ring….but they can’t talk. Because they’re bananas you see. Now Lenny and Lodi come out (Lawler: “Now we’ve got four fruits in the ring.” You knew someone would say it.) and gay jokes abound. Bret finally shows up and puts Lenny and Lodi in the semi-finals instead of Juvy. Oh and the bananas are out.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament Semi-Finals: Lenny vs. Lodi vs. Road Dogg

Gee I wonder who is winning here. Lenny and Lodi get to do their land in homosexual position spots but they argue over who gets to cover Dogg. Since it worked so well, they do the same sequence over again. Jerry makes gay jokes as Lenny crawls onto Dogg for the cover. Lenny and Lodi do the same thing over again as they argue over who should get the pin. Lenny misses a top rope dropkick and hits Lodi, but Lodi breaks up Dogg’s shaky kneedrop. A botched double flapjack puts Dogg down and Lodi rolls up Lenny for two. Lenny’s moonsault lands on top of Lodi and Dogg drops a knee to advance.

Rating: D-. This was stupid but you can tell Lenny and Lodi are having a lot of fun out there. Alan Funk (Kwee Wee from WCW) would replace I think Lodi in TNA and do the exact same gimmick with mixed results. Again, there was never any question who would win here but it was kind of funny I guess. Also, it was short.

Stevie puts his hat on to talk to Buff (Stevie: “I don’t like looking like no fruit booty”), who cuts a very generic promo about his match with Jeff.

Seven Deadly Sins Tournament Semi-Finals: Jeff Jarrett vs. Buff Bagwell

This is a, and I quote, T*** Whips and Buff match, which means the Starretts as lumberjacks holding whips. Buff’s graphic says Road Dogg but to be fair it’s their first show. Apparently Buff got to pick the stipulations. Ok then. Basic stuff to start and Jeff has to avoid a whipping. A clothesline puts Jeff on the floor and the girls chase him around some more. Buff gets sent to the floor and the girls help him up and rub his shoulders.

Jeff gets one of the whips and beats on Buff a bit and it’s off to a token reverse chinlock. Buff escapes with an electric chair and hammers away before sending Jeff to the floor for a whipping. Buff whips him a bit too and the referee says that’s not allowed so the referee takes a few shots too. In the ring the Blockbuster hits but there’s no referee. One of the girls counts and Buff (who wasn’t looking) celebrates, allowing Jeff to hit the Stroke to advance to the finals.

Rating: D-. Another comedy match here and it’s starting to wear thin. These matches aren’t funny and at about four minutes long, they aren’t coming off as important or anything like that. These are supposed to world title tournament matches but there’s almost no wrestling involved at all. That gets old in a hurry.

Luna and Vampire Warrior (Gangrel) have come to Australia to renew their wedding vows but they wound up fighting and have a match tonight.

Luna Vachon vs. Vampire Warrior

This is a Black Wedding Match, which I think means hardcore but I have no idea for sure. Luna slaps him and Gangrel won’t fight back because it’s his wife. Gangrel finally kind of slams her down and we head outside. There’s wedding themed stuff on the floor and Gangrel takes a cake to the face. Luna gets tongs and grabs Gangrel’s balls with them. We get a pumpkin shot in and you can connect the dots on this one yourself I think. Luna throws down her wedding ring and spits at him, earning her an inverted DDT for the pin. Nothing here at all but ANOTHER comedy match.

Stevie is with the guy in women’s clothing but his identity stays a secret.

Queen B vs. Violet vs. Sharon A. Wad vs. Adera James

I have no idea which is which. Wad is the guy. You can figure out what happens here: the man dominates the models (Queen is a Penthouse Pet) until they team up on him and hit three straight Shattered Dreams on him. It’s Danny Dominion in drag apparently. Who is Danny Dominion? I have no idea, nor do I care. Dominion comes back and pounds away as this goes nowhere. Two girls lose their tops and THIS KEEPS GOING. This isn’t wrestling at all and FINALLY James wins. Screw this nonsense.

We hear about some upcoming shows as the cage is lowered. Lawler and JB suck up to the crowd to fill in time.

The Starettes dance AGAIN but Disco interrupts them. He says this is about him instead of dancing girls and comes to the ring. Disco says he should be in this match and he’s not because of the Fruits. They come out and beat Disco up, sending Inferno up the cage in retreat. Disco SHOVES ONE OF THEM OFF THE CAGE in a big bump. The Fruit is pretty much dead so he gets dragged off. This is your time being wasted people, not mine.

WWA World Title: Jeff Jarrett vs. Road Dogg

Bret comes out to do commentary and they fill even more time with long entrances. Jeff takes Dogg down to start and pounds away in the corner. There’s a cameraman in the ring which is kind of distracting. It also doesn’t help that the closeups show that a lot of the shots aren’t hitting. Dogg hits the shaky punches and knee drop for two. I think you can win by escape too but it’s not really clear.

Dogg gets sent into the cage but he comes back and sends Jeff into it as well. This is as basic as you can get so far but it’s nothing bad. Jeff gets sent into the cage again as Dogg takes over. Both guys go to the top and Jeff climbs down….but that doesn’t count here, making the whole cage pretty worthless. A bell shot busts Jeff open and they head back in for a sleeper from Jarrett. There is literally blood dripping down onto the mat from Jeff’s head. That’s sick stuff man.

Road Dogg gets up at two arm drops and rams Jeff into the cage to escape the hold. Dogg puts on a sleeper of his own but Jeff suplexes him down for two. A forearm from Roadie takes out the referee and Jeff walks out the door to pick up his guitar. The guitar kills Dogg and Jeff puts him in the Sharpshooter but Bret won’t let the bell ring. It’s a cage match so why is this illegal? A second referee comes in and gets bumped and Dogg low blows Jarrett. Now Dogg puts Jeff in the Sharpshooter but Bret STILL won’t ring the bell. Roadie steals the belt from Bret, misses a shot with it and takes the Stroke to give Jeff the title.

Rating: D+. This didn’t work for me. After the night of overdone matches, they overdo it even more to end the show? Even in 2001 the Montreal stuff was old and no one was interested in it anymore. The match was getting good at the end but I don’t think many people bought Dogg as a legit threat.

Post match Bret gets in the cage and Jeff backs down from him. Bret takes the legs out and puts Jeff in the Sharpshooter to end the show. Nice job of making the CHAMPION look good on the first show guys.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a hard one to grade. First and foremost, it’s their first PPV. They had four more and a bunch of house shows to get their ideas right and hopefully ditch some of the comedy matches. The good thing here is they have a champion and it’s probably their best option. This show cost $20 when it aired and I can’t say I’d hate myself for paying that at the time, but I’d be skeptical about paying that again. If nothing else, these guys are WAY better than a lot of indy geeks you’ll see, so it’s not a total loss. Bigger names would come in soon enough though which would help a lot. Not great but not awful.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

Bloodymania V
Date: August 14, 2011
Location: Hatchet Landing, Cave-in-Rock Illinois
Commentators: Kevin Gill, Shaggy 2 Dope

This is what you get for saying you’ll review almost anything. This is Juggalo Championship Wrestling, which is the Insane Clown Posse’s company. If you don’t know who they are, they’re a band who dresses like clowns and are incredibly controversial for their lyrics and all that jazz. They’re also huge wrestling fans and got into both the WWF and WCW on their star power. They wrestled some matches and it became clear they had the talent of your average backyard wrestler. Naturally WCW had plans on making one of them Cruiserweight Champion because that’s what WCW does.

Now one thing to note: there are actual wrestlers here. It isn’t just ICP and their friends having bad matches. There are names on here like Rhyno, Raven, Nick Dinsmore (Eugene), X-Pac and Vampiro. Also I have no idea who any of these musicians are, nor do I care to know. Other than that I have no idea what to expect here. Let’s get to it.

Some guy in a JCW shirt comes out to open the show. Apparently his name is Kevin Gill. He intros the show and the people are SILENT. The audio on this show sucks so far. The main event is Corporal Robinson, who apparently has been champion for about 40% of the company’s existence, defending against Vampiro. He introduces his broadcasting partners and the audio gets a lot louder.

A DJ plays some music.

Shaggy goes to the back to see about some of the audio issues.

Apparently all of the fans are called ninjas.

Bill Martel vs. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks

The name graphics are backwards at first. The announcers keep talking over the ring announcer. Martel is the Superstar, so you can tell he’s important. The Man of 1000 Gimmicks is looking like a pimp here. From what I can find on the internet, his name is Sal so we’ll go with that. Apparently Sal lost a loser leaves town match a few weeks/months ago but put on a mask and won a match to get back on this show.

Bill slaps him to start but gets slapped right back. Sal takes him to the mat and hits a low dropkick to the head before pulling out….a marshmallow? Oh it was a tampon which he puts in Bill’s mouth. How long is this show again? Martel takes him down again and the audio screws up again. Martel misses a middle rope elbow and Sal clotheslines him down for two. They head to the corner with Sal hitting a tornado DDT and rolling through into a spinning fisherman’s neckbreaker for two. Martel gets a rollup out of nowhere for the pin. This should have been a dark match.

We recap the next tag match. Weed Man (exactly what it sounds like) lost a match to Officer Colt Cabana and had to become Cabana’s deputy. Weed Man wasn’t happy with it and had to help Cabana go after 2 Tuff Tony who is an alcoholic. Finally the drug addict turned on the cop and helped the alcoholic. Cabana brought in US Marshall Adam Pearce and we’ve got a tag match, albeit with Pearce/Cabana vs. Tony and a mystery partner.

The announcers talk but we hear music.

Adam Pearce/Colt Cabana vs. 2 Tuff Tony/???

Commentary is back now but the theme music is still drowning it out. The camera stays on the commentators as we can hear stuff going on in the ring. Even Shaggy and Kevin are asking why they’re being shown. Apparently the show didn’t get going until sometime between 1:30 and 3:30am. No wonder the fans aren’t caring that much. After Tony gives the fans liquor for a few minutes, Weed Man runs in and says he’s the partner of Tony. That’s not exactly shocking given the story. He takes his mask off which is a big deal apparently but it doesn’t get a big reaction. No one knows who he is so what was the point?

Tony and Cabana start things off with Tony controlling the arm early on. Off to Weed Man who stays on the arm while the announcers say he looks like a typical stoner. Cabana punches him down and it’s off to Pearce with a top rope splash for two. Weed Man does a Flair Flip in the corner and is clotheslined off the apron. Cabana rams Weed Man into the steps and Weed Man is busted.

Pearce works on the cut and does the clap non-tag to Cabana. A sunset flip gets two for Weed and we’re already at the main issue with this show: the wrestling is ok at its very best. Weed Man isn’t that good and he’s doing nothing but basics. Anyway it’s off to Pearce as the beating continues. Oh wait let’s look at the commentators again. Pearce goes up and gets crotched and superplexed down.

There’s the hot tag to Tony who cleans house as the announcers make gay jokes about Cabana. Tony hits a kick to the face of Pearce for two and a Lionsault to Cabana gets no cover. Instead of covering, Tony covers his hand in alcohol and tries to light it on fire, but Pearce throws a fire extinguisher at it. Cabana hits Tony with a nightstick for two as Weed Man dives through the ropes onto Pearce. Tony trips Cabana down and a double stomp from Weed Man gets the pin.

Rating: D+. This was one of the main events? If that’s the case this show is in big trouble. This was a run of the mill tag match and not a lot came from it. Cabana and Pearce are talented guys but they need something better than these two for opponents to have a good match. I get that Weed Man and Tony are popular, but they’re not that talented. That’s one of the mistakes ECW made: they would have guys in there to pop the live crowd but it did nothing for the masses. Now that being said, this is a far different kind of company than ECW was so it’s a lot more understandable here.

Cabana arrests Weed Man for taking his mask off. A guy who is apparently the owner of the land this show is happening on says Cabana has no authority here because it’s private property. Weed Man has to be uncuffed and security comes out remove Cabana who shouts about Rodney King. Tony and Weed Man celebrate with the fans.

We recap Zach Gowen vs. Eugene. Gowen has one leg and Eugene (spelled U-Gene here for the sake of copyright infringement but I’m calling him Eugene because it really makes no difference) was really protective of him. Eugene tried to use brass knuckles to win the tag titles but Gowen didn’t want them that way. Eugene was offended and turned on him, setting up this match. Simple story and that’s fine.

U-Gene vs. Zach Gowen

Eugene takes the only leg out but Gowen can fight well on the mat and escapes. Eugene keeps asking for a test of strength but Gowen will have none of that. Back to the mat but Gowen kicks him to the floor. Eugene is doing his best known gimmick to make this a battle of the handicapped. Back in and Gowen gets down in a crouch which freaks Eugene out. Gowen is very quick on the mat so Eugene gets on top of him. A dropkick puts Eugene on the floor and he’s getting very frustrated. He seems to be the heel here.

Back in and Gowen is slammed into the mat for two and it’s off to a chinlock. Eugene uses the classic invisible foreign object to pound away. The commentators debate what country the object is from and continue to get on my nerves. Eugene puts on a half crab, which may be a full crab in Gowen’s case, followed by a giant swing. Eugene loads up what looks like a Samoan Drop off the middle rope but Gowen escapes into a powerbomb for no cover.

A Blockbuster gets two for Gowen but Eugene comes back with an airplane spin. Given that it’s an airplane spin, we get the required ref bump as Gowen is being spun around. Gowen takes Eugene down and this a moonsault but there’s no ref. As Zach wakes the referee up, Eugene blasts Gowen with the foreign object for the pin.

Rating: C. Not bad here as it’s amazing what you do when you get seasons pros in the ring. Eugene was always talented and he could make the gimmick work well as he tweaked it enough to make it different at different times. When you take Gowen out of the main event scene of WWE PPVs, he’s a lot less annoying. Decent match here which is probably going to be the high point.

The referee sees the object and reverses the decision. Eugene snaps and destroys Gowen with Gowen’s cane. The referee was busted open in there somewhere too.

The announcers talk about what we just saw.

We recap Richie Boy Breyer Wellington vs. his Butler Geeves. Wellington was going to try to steal the world title but Geeves wound up sneaking in and taking it. 2 Tuff Tony won the belt before Geeves could lay down for Wellington so Wellington and his manager Truth Martini brought in Geeves’ wife Mrs. Geeves before the match tonight. Tonight, the winner gets Mrs. Geeves and the loser has to fight Tank Abbott for five minutes.

Breyer Wellington vs. Butler Geeves

Geeves looks like a Chippendale dancer. We stall to start and look at the announcers a bit who are talking about moon bounce houses. No contact for the first 45 seconds or so. Geeves works on the arm but gets sent to the mat by Wellington to escape. Wellington puts on a headlock as the ring seems a lot louder now for some reason. The announcers keep up a joke about Geeves learning to wrestle online which is beaten into the ground a few minutes into the match.

The guys in the ring are doing nothing beyond basics so far. A butterfly suplex gets two for Wellington and it’s off to a surfboard hold on Geeves. Wellington hits a Backstabber for two. At least I think it was two, as we were looking at the announcers again. Geeves makes a comeback and grabs a rollup for two but walks into a modified Cradle Shock (Sabin’s AA move) for two. Some chick comes out and flashes Wellington, giving Geeves a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. This was really dull and the comeback came so fast that there wasn’t a chance for the crowd to get into it. The girl I guess is replacing Mrs. Geeves for her husband, but he gets them both due to the stipulations. That’s not a bad way to go and I guess now we get the Tank Abbott stuff. Pretty terrible match though.

Geeves says he doesn’t want his wife’s services anymore in a pretty decent promo.

No Abbott stuff for the moment.

Here’s Commissioner Violent J. He plays to the crowd a bit and the fans chant Bruce (his real name). As with everything else tonight, you can barely understand him. He says not to review the show if you’re not observing them. That clears me I guess. Apparently only Juggalos can review these shows. I’m out then. He talks about what you should do and this goes nowhere. We get a King Kong Bundy reference for no apparent reason.

J talks about a guy who is here after not being around for awhile. The fans chant for Evil Dead, who was a corpse that won the first JCW Championship. He had a big advantage because he was death and therefore couldn’t feel pain. More on that later. Evil Dead is the first inductee into the JCW Hall of Fame, and there is no truth to the speculation that it’s just J’s brother in a rubber mask.

Evil Dead comes out and falls down the ramp because he doesn’t have many leg muscles left. He has a note in his hand as he stands on the middle rope. J reads his speech which talks about eating people. Dead falls off the ropes, gets tied up in the ropes, falls to the floor, and finally leaves with J. This ran 13 minutes, or longer than all but one match tonight.

The announcers talk a lot more. This must be an intermission of some kind.

Tag Titles: Ring Rydas vs. Tracy Smothers/Bull Pain vs. Necro Butcher/Mad Man Pondo vs. Raven/Sexy Slim Goody

The Rydas are the champions and are known as Ring Ryda Red and Ring Ryda Blue. They’re masked and are also known as the Irish Airborne, mainly from ROH. The ring is WAY too small for eight people. Raven and Smothers start things off and we start with dancing. Before there’s any contact it’s off to Slim, who is a big fat guy who may or may not be gay. Smothers keeps falling down without any contact being made. Pain comes in and twists Slim’s nipples to start things off.

Bull Pain pounds on Slim as the announcers crack jokes about whatever they think of. A reverse DDT puts Slim down for no cover for Pain. Pain looks like a shorter Albert from his piercing days. The Rydas get on Pain’s nerves and draw him into their corner so Red comes in to pound on Slim. The Rydas are small guys so the size difference is jarring.

Off to Blue vs. Necro with Blue speeding things up and hitting a running knee to the face. Blue goes up but jumps into an uppercut. Off to Pondo who hits a kind of piledriver onto a chair that is in the ring out of nowhere. Things break down a bit and it’s off to Necro vs. Smothers. Necro chops away in the corner and Pain starts beating on everyone with a bat or a pipe or whatever it is.

Tracy comes in and Necro sets for a tiger driver, but Tracy’s daughter/sister (forget it people, it’s JCW) Isabelle comes in to break it up. Pain walks out on Smothers for some reason and Tracy follows. Red breaks up a DDT on Pondo from Raven and heads up. In a pretty awesome looking finish, Red gets shoved off the top by Goody into the DDT from Raven who hits it perfectly for the pin and the titles.

Rating: D+. This was a bit of a mess because there were too many people and too much stuff going on out there at once. The ending was pretty awesome looking though as Red looked dead after that DDT. I have no idea why Raven and Slim are together but it’s Raven so it’s not a big deal at all.

And now the feed goes off for a bit. It wouldn’t feel right if that didn’t happen.

We recap Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong which is basically a battle of monsters colliding. It’s No DQ either.

Rhyno vs. Kongo Kong

No countout or DQ. Apparently Kongo has lost over 90lbs since the video was made because he’s billed as 410lbs here and was said to be over 500lbs in the video. Kong is a savage or something close to one. Kong immediately clotheslines him down but Rhyno pops back up. Rhyno hits a decent belly to belly given how fat Kong is but Kong pops back up. Kong misses a charge and flips over the top rope to the floor in a surprising display of balance.

Rhyno dives onto Kong but loses a slugout on the floor. Back in and the fat man (Kongo if you’re not familiar with Rhyno, which makes me wonder why you’re reading this) pounds away and we get the required nerve hold. Rhyno Hulks Up and finally knocks Kong down with shoulders. The Gore hits….for two? I didn’t see that coming. A second Gore again only gets two but the third one hits the buckle, giving Kongo a rollup win out of nowhere.

Rating: D. Kong is a big guy but there’s nothing more to him than that. Also, why would you have a monster come off looking like he can only win on a fluke? Kicking out of two Gores was a nice surprise as the Gore is a very famous finisher. This was short which helped a bit but it didn’t work that well due to Kong being unable to do much.

We recap the women’s three way. There’s something about training and throwing in a towel and I really don’t care.

Brittany Force vs. Amber O’Neal vs. Ring Girl Randy

Amber is billed as being from Heaven. That’s kind of awesome. The announcers say they hope it turns into lesbianism. Well why bother to just hint at it I guess? Anyway Amber tries to leave but the other two pull her back in and beat her to the floor. Randy hits a Samoan Drop on Force to send Brittany to the floor, followed by a big dive to take Brittany out. Amber sends Randy into the post so let’s look at the announcers.

Back in and Brittany grabs a fast rollup for two on Amber but gets caught in a running Umaga attack in the corner. Amber knocks everyone down and hits a bad X Factor on Force for two. Force gets two off something we missed because we were looking at the commentators. Randy keeps getting beaten up as she tries to get back in. Amber chokes Brittany over the ropes while in a rana position and Randy is back in.

Scratch that as she’s already back out. Amber puts a chinlock on Force for about 10 seconds, followed by a Stink Face. Force avoids a charge and hits a Downward Spiral on Amber and Randy finally gets back in. A facejam from Force gets two on Amber, but Randy comes in and hits a reverse DDT on Force for the surprise win.

Rating: D+. This was your usual three way with the person who looked to be losing the entire time coming out of nowhere for the surprise pin. That’s always annoying as it’s such a played out idea that as soon as Randy kept getting knocked to the floor I knew she was going to win. Nothing to see here but Amber is good looking so it helps.

X-Pac vs. Luke Gallows vs. Rob Conway

The winner gets a contract, even though Conway already has one. Fast paced opening here with no one being able to get an advantage. Conway is sent to the floor and Gallows is knocked out as well, followed by Pac with a big dive. Conway crotches Pac on the platform the ring is on which gets two back in the ring. Now we get to the usual turning point of a triple threat: the fight between the heels (?) that want to pin the guy who is down.

Gallows kills Conway with a chokeslam but Pac kicks Gallows down. Luke kicks Pac in the face in the corner but misses a middle rope elbow. Conway puts a sleeper on Gallows but they both fall to the floor. The sleeper wasn’t broken though and Gallows is put to sleep. Conway goes back in to try to do the same to Pac but X-Pac rolls him up for the pin.

Rating: D+. This wasn’t terrible but it just came and went. Gallows is as generic of a big man as you can get and Conway is just there, which is why he’s an OVW legend and not much else. The match was as typical of a three way as you could ever ask for. Nothing special at all here though, which might as well be the name of the show.

We recap Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro. They were friends, Vampiro came into the ring when Robinson won his fourth title and kicked Robinson’s head off. This is something about Robinson proving himself, despite having two title reigns that have gone over two years already. Robinson says this is his life, unlike Vampiro where it’s like the fourth biggest thing on his list. Vampiro says that’s exactly like ICP and they’re doing fine. Both of these guys are in the Juggalo World Order which is the big stable which hasn’t been mentioned until this promo.

JCW World Title: Corporal Robinson vs. Vampiro

Robinson is defending if that wasn’t clear. They shake hands to start and finally lock up. Before anything can get going, here’s Evil Dead for no apparent reason. He gets in the ring and drills the referee as the other two guys get in each others’ faces. Evil Dead DDTs both guys and leaves. This is happening…..why exactly?

Robinson and Vampiro slug it out from their knees which takes a good while. Robinson shoulders him down but gets kicked in the face a second later to give Vampiro control again. Robinson comes back again and tries his finisher called Boot Camp (cobra clutch legsweep) but Vampiro escapes. A neckbreaker gets two for the champion as does a superkick from Vampiro. Vampiro’s chokeslam is broken up and apparently it’s almost 5:00am. Good grief.

A tornado DDT gets two for Robinson as they’re in the problem most indy matches have: they have no idea how to tell a story in the ring and it’s just a string of moves with nothing between them. Vampiro flips off the fans to go heel I guess, and walks into a dragon screw leg whip for his efforts. Robinson puts on a quick leglock but Vamp gets to a rope. The Corporal brings in a chair but Vampiro kicks his knee out just in time.

Vampiro loads up something off the top but gets pulled down into a Tree of Woe. We get the Tommy Dreamer running dropkick into the chair into the guy in the Tree of Woe’s face for two. Vampiro comes back with a kind of Van Daminator and Robinson is busted open. It’s table time now because what would a main event be without one of those? Off to a chinlock by Vampiro so he can bite the cut a bit.

The table is set up in the corner and Vampiro goes after the cut on Robinson’s head. Robinson is sent face first into the chair but Vampiro walks around too much and gets suplexed down for two. Robinson goes up but misses a legdrop to bring things to a halt again. Chokeslam from Vampiro gets two, followed by a Robinson powerbomb and Boot Camp for the pin to retain. The table was never used.

Rating: C-. This went WAY too long which brings it down a bit. Somehow this match was almost twenty minutes long and about four minutes of that was spent on laying around. I have no idea what the point of Evil Dead was but it came and went and didn’t change anything. Not a terrible match or anything and it was fine for a main event on a show of this caliber.

The locker room comes out to celebrate with Robinson as Vampiro leaves. He finally comes back to celebrate to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This certainly wasn’t the worst show I’ve ever seen but it’s nothing I’d ever want to see more of. JCW started off as basically a parody of wrestling with things like the announcers saying this match sucks so let’s watch a different one and then they would actually change over to another match or the ICP declaring themselves the winners because they own the company and they’ll fire anyone that beats them. Instead this was just a run of the mill indy show with absolutely nothing memorable or different at all. That being said, the show cost five bucks so it’s really hard to complain.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews

AWA StarCage 1985
Date: April 21, 1985
Location: St. Paul Civic Center, St. Paul, Minnesota
Commentators: Doug Cameron, Ken Resnick

This is another of those AWA super shows and obviously, the main event is a cage match. 1985 is about the time where things started to go downhill in a hurry for these guys as a lot of their stars were about to head for the WWF or WCW. The main event is a handicap cage match which should be interesting. Let’s get to it.

We open with Verne Gagne talking about someone being behind him.

Tom Zenk/Steve Olsonoski vs. The Alaskans

The Alaskans are Rick Renslow and Dave Wagner and I’ve never heard of either guy. Apparently every match tonight is a tag match. I’m not sure why as the title wouldn’t suggest anything like that but whatever. The Alaskans are guys in red coats that might be made of fur. They also have clubs but the referee steals them. That’s not very nice of him. Olsonoski and we’ll say Alaskan #1 (that’s what they’re called despite being named earlier in the show) start us off.

The Alaskans try to double team in the corner but Steve (like I’m going to write that name out every time) uses some speed to get out of the corner. We stall for a bit as the fans are getting on the Alaskans’ nerves. An armdrag sends #1 to the floor (apparently Renslow is #1) and it’s off to Wagner vs. Zenk. Zenk messes with Wagner’s hair and things slow down again.

Steve and Zenk take some fast turns to work on headlocks but Zenk gets caught in the corner and Renslow takes over. Tom grabs the arm to break that up and it’s back to Steve, who is almost immediately sent into the Alaskan corner for some elbows to the ribs. Off to a bearhug for over a minute before Steve fights out, only to be put in a chinlock. After a few minutes of that Steve is powerslammed for two but he starts a comeback. That gets him nowhere either as he charges into a knee in the corner. This is quite the beatdown.

Steve FINALLY avoids a charge in the corner and makes the diving tag to Zenk. Zenk, a Minnesota man, gets a big pop for the hot tag. He slams both big Alaskans and a dropkick puts let’s say #1 down. Zenk and Steve hit a double back elbow as everything breaks down. A double dropkick hits Wagner for the pin.

Rating: C+. This was a good choice for an opener as they worked the tag formula to perfection. Having Zenk get the hot tag was the right idea as it got the crowd more fired up than they likely would have been for Steve. I’m not sure why they picked Alaska for the heels to be from but I guess it’s for mystery or something. This was a good opener.

The winners say they haven’t teamed together before but they had fun.

Buck Zumhofe/Baron Von Raschke vs. Jimmy Garvin/Steve Regal

Not that Regal. Raschke was injured by Garvin and Zumhofe and Regal feuded over the Light Heavyweight Title for the better part of eternity. Regal has the belt here and is called Mr. Electricity. Apparently we have some tree loving hippies in the crowd as he gets booed out of the building here. Zumhofe tries to start a dance which looks more like the Tomahawk Chop. Regal argues with some fan who is apparently a regular and is rolled up for two.

Zumhofe clears the ring and the fan is the most over person on the show so far. Zumhofe and Regal officially get us going with Mr. Electricity being sent HARD into the corner. He crawls over to Garvin for a tag as things continue to be slow paced bursts of speed to start if that makes sense. Baron comes in to face Garvin and goes after the eye, which is what Garvin injured on Baron in the first place. The fans are WAY into this now so I guess this is a real blood feud.

Garvin finally gets in a punch and brings in Regal to save himself. The Baron’s eyes are raked across the top rope and double teaming ensues when Buck tries to make a save. Garvin comes back in now that the Baron is in trouble and hooks a chinlock which is broken in a few seconds. Raschke GERMANS UP and Garvin’s punches have no effect. He ducks his head though and Garvin kicks him in the face to stop the momentum.

Back to Regal who is immediately caught in a sunset flip for two. That’s the extent of this offensive rush from the German as the beating continues. Baron finally ducks a punch and brings in Buck who cleans house. As fast as he’s going though he gets brought down by double teaming and it’s a chinlock by Garvin.

Regal fights up and hits a cross body for two and it’s back to Baron. Baron knocks Garvin into the ropes and Jimmy is tied up. Once he finally gets untied there’s the Claw from Raschke and everything breaks down. Zumhofe misses a Vader Bomb on Regal but Garvin hits Regal by mistake, letting Zumhofe get the pin.

Rating: C-. This wasn’t bad or anything but the biggest problem it had was that it was too long. Raschke is a guy who was popular back in his time but he doesn’t really hold up that well, especially as a face. Zumhofe and Regal were far cries from what we would get in lighter weight classes later on, and they never quite got people going like they were supposed to.

The winners say there’s more to come of what you just saw.

We’re told about how awesome Brad Rheingans and Bob Backlund are.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Billy Robinson/Bobby Duncum

Apparently the commentator had no idea what he was talking about and this is the real match.

Brad Rheingans/Bob Backlund vs. Larry Zbyszko/Butch Reed

Once Backlund left the WWF he didn’t really do much but this was probably the high point of his non-WWF stuff. Rheingans vs. Reed to start which is a pure power match. The idea here is that Brad and Backlund both coached the US Olympic team which I’ve never heard of but maybe it’s true. Anyway Brad gets caught in a headlock but he hits a dropkick to take Butch down. Off to Backlund and it’s time for the arm work.

Forget Backlund because Brad is in before he can do much at all. Larry comes in and Brad puts on a HARD headlock before bringing in Backlund for a bit softer headlock. Brad comes in again and we get some good old fashioned cheating to take him down. Butch and Larry hit a double slam for two followed by a big boot to take Rheingans down, but for some reason he’s able to easily tag out.

Backlund comes in and naturally works on the arm some more. More heel cheating (do I need to bother to explain which team is the heel version?) gets Backlund in trouble and it’s chinlock time. Larry comes in and slams Backlund for two before more double teaming follows. A small package gets two for Backlund but it’s back to Reed with a double ax to the back. There’s a bearhug as Reed slows things down again.

Off to another chinlock by Reed and Backlund is in trouble again. Back to Larry for more stomping to Backlund and there’s the abdominal stretch that Zbyszko loves to use. We can’t have a tag yet though because we need the sequel to the bearhug: the LIFTING bearhug! Just like earlier, a headbutt gets Backlund out of the hold and they collide off the ropes.

Bob makes the tag and even though the referee doesn’t see it, he lets it go anyway. I guess he’s as bored as I am. After a quick cleaning of house, Backlund is brought back in to pound away on Larry, who apparently has a title Backlund wants. That helps a bit I guess. In a very abrupt ending, Larry sets up a piledriver but Backlund backdrops him and stays on top for the pin.

Rating: D+. As I said, this match just kept going. It’s pretty clear that they’re extending the matches longer than they should go due to the amount of time they have and a total of seven matches on the card. The problem with this show is that the stories for these matches are almost tacked on, making the matches hard to get into. They’re not bad though.

Both teams say they want more.

Sgt. Slaughter says he’s ready for the main event.

Tonga Kid/Jim Brunzell vs. Billy Robinson/Bobby Duncum

Tonga Kid is more famous as Tama of the Islanders. Robinson is British and is more famous worldwide than he is in America. It’s a brawl to start with the heels (Duncum and Robinson) being sent to the floor. Robinson and Brunzell get us started and Billy takes him down with a quick neckbreaker. Off to Duncum who is a Texas man. Tonga Kid comes in and it’s off to a quick chinlock on Duncum. Things speed up and the good guys tag in and out quickly, resulting in a knee to the face of Duncum for two.

Robinson makes the save and the heels take over on Brunzell. Billy hits a gutwrench suplex for two and it’s back to Duncum. Brunzell avoids a charges and Bobby’s shoulder hits the post. There’s the first hot tag of the match to the Tonga Kid and house is clean. Duncum is in trouble and the good guys take their turns on the leg of the Texan. Back to Tonga vs. Robinson with the British dude getting hooked in a quickly broken sleeper.

Before Tonga can get in much trouble he tags in Brunzell who hits his signature dropkick on Robinson but Duncum breaks it up. They do the exact same thing again in case we didn’t get the point the first time and the save puts Brunzell in trouble again. Robinson goes for a belly to back suplex on Brunzell but Jim tags Tonga while in the air. Tonga comes off the top with a crossbody for the pin on Robinson. Finally, a hot finish.

Rating: C. That ending helped this a lot. What hurts this a lot is the lack of any story at all. In the other matches we had stuff like a singles feud or something like that, but here there was nothing that we were told of. That’s fine for a filler match, but when you have seven four matches and almost all of them could fit that description, that’s not a good thing. That was a good ending though and again I want to make it clear that the matches aren’t bad at all. They’re just kind of dull.

Paul Ellering and the Road Warriors say they’ll beat up the Hennigs tonight. It’s for the tag titles and I’m not sure who the good team is. The Hennigs would be Curt and his dad Larry. Usually a dad on a team means good, but the Warriors were insanely popular. We’ll see I guess.

Before the match, here’s a music video on the Road Warriors with them “singing”.

Here’s a video set to We’re Not Gonna Take It of various tag teams beating each other up. One of the teams has Mr. Saito on it.

Verne Gagne/Greg Gagne vs. Nick Bockwinkel/Masa Saito

It’s a brawl immediately and the Gagnes send them both out to the floor. Greg vs. Saito start things off and it’s a chop fest early. Greg armdrags him down a few times and it’s off to Bockwinkel. The idea here is that Verne wants to kill Bockwinkel for something not important enough to tell us about. Bockwinkel comes in and avoids a dropkick from Greg and the beating begins.

Saito beats on Greg for a minute or so and it’s back to Bockwinkel who can’t seem to suplex the younger Gagne. The fans want Verne. Nick works on a front facelock but Greg suplexes his way out of it. Now Saito comes in and works on the same facelock but Greg is inching towards the corner. Bockwinkel runs in to break it up, but Greg makes the tag anyway. The referee didn’t see it though and the fans are getting mad. I love it when that happens in tag matches.

Bockwinkel’s piledriver is countered by Greg but instead of tagging out he runs the ropes and they collide. Greg FINALLY tags in Verne and to the old man’s credit, the place ERUPTS. He cleans house, sending both guys out to the floor with ease. Greg stomps on Saito on the apron and drops a top rope knee on him for good measure. Bockwinkel breaks up Verne’s sleeper on Saito and it’s off to Greg vs. Nick again.

A flying knee to the face puts Bockwinkel down and Greg goes after the knee. We finally get to Bockwinkel vs. Verne and Verne hits a decent dropkick for two. Another one puts Nick down but Verne is old and can’t cover. Saito comes in again and Verne gets chopped up against the ropes. Nick comes in again and trades sleepers with Verne as everything breaks down. Verne gets beaten down but it’s the dropkick the back of the guy getting slammed spot as Verne is kicked onto Bockwinkel for the pin, which was the only possible ending.

Rating: C-. The crowd reaction for Verne really was impressive here but that seemed to be the case on every big show that he came out of retirement on. The same problems are here as they have been all match long, but at least with this one there seemed to be a real feud that people cared about. Still though, decent enough here.

Verne gets beaten down post match until Greg makes the save.

Tag Titles: Road Warriors vs. Larry Hennig/Curt Hennig

Curt is almost a baby here while Larry is basically a house on legs. I don’t mean he’s fat. I mean that he’s muscular and large. I think the Warriors are the heels here and I know they’re defending. Larry and Animal start but Animal can’t budge him with shoulders. Off to Hawk who pounds away to some more success. Larry grabs the arm for a wristlock and brings in Curt who looks like he’s in way over his head.

Animal comes in and Curt uses his speed to avoid the monster, before hitting a dropkick to send Animal into the corner. Off to an armbar as I’m surprised that Curt is still in one piece at this point. Hawk comes in and is cross bodied for one as Hennig is hanging in there. A sunset flip is completely no sold and the Road Warriors finally remember that this is 1985 and they’re facing a 27 year old Curt Hennig.

Back to Animal who slams Curt down for two. Larry looks ticked as Hawk casually picks Curt up into the air for some choking. Trongard (the announcer, more on that later) has no idea which Warrior is which, despite them looking almost nothing alike. Off to a chinlock by Hawk and we get the always awesome Paul Ellering yelling at Curt. Curt gets in a shot to Animal’s ribs which forces a tag, but it also brings in Hawk for a gorilla press slam.

The beating continues as Animal comes in with a HUGE clothesline to take Curt’s head off for two. Hawk puts on a camel clutch but lets Curt go to toy with him. Animal comes in but a splash hits knees. There’s the hot tag to Larry who the fans aren’t that thrilled with. Curt is back in way too fast but he hits a missile dropkick for two on Animal. Everything breaks down and Ellering is dragged in as well. Larry hits Animal in the back, sending him over the top for the DQ. Lame ending.

Rating: C-. This was the same as usual for the show. Curt could take a beating and showed that he could do it here, which is why he got a nearly year long reign as world champion a few years aftert this. This match is available on the Road Warriors DVD if you want to see it. It’s labeled differently on that DVD though, as this was broadcast on AWA All-Star Wrestling in August of 1985, which is why Trongard is on commentary here as the tape I was using messed up and I couldn’t see the full match.

Another music video.

Sgt. Slaughter/Jerry Blackwell vs. Sheik Adnan Al-Kassie/King Tonga/Masked Superstar

Masked Superstar is Ax of Demolition, King Tonga is Haku and this is in a cage. The reason for the match? EVIL NON AMERICAN SCUM!!! Blackwell and Superstar start things off but Jerry wants the Sheik. That would be a feud that went on for almost half of the 80s. Anyway he gets King Tonga instead and the King immediately tries to escape. That gets him nowhere as Blackwell (who weighs nearly 500lbs) kills him with a clothesline.

Off to Sarge who gets a BIG reaction. Tonga suplexes him down and the match slows a bit. Masked Superstar comes in and is immediately ping ponged between Blackwell and Sarge. That’s not nice to a new guest guys. It works so well that they do it again, this time with Blackwell as the legal man. Superstar gets in a shot to Blackwell and it’s off to Sheik for the usual shots you get from a coward when the hero is down.

Sheik sends him into the cage a few times and it’s back to the King who isn’t as much of a coward. A headbutt gets two and it’s off to a chinlock. I think you win by pin or submission here but it hasn’t really been made clear. Superstar comes in and immediately collides with the fat man. Sheik gets rammed down and Blackwell has been busted somewhere in there. Sheik slams Jerry a few times and man that’s just stupid.

Jerry STILL won’t tag so he rams the fresh Tonga into the cage, busting him open as well. Blackwell gets beaten into the corner but he punches Superstar in the face and tags Slaughter. House is cleaned but the fans don’t seem to care as much about Slaughter this time. Sarge slams Superstar down and goes TO THE TOP OF THE CAGE. Thankfully he slips a few times and thinks better of it and just jumps off the top, but the knee misses the Superstar.

Since this show hasn’t dragged on long enough yet, Slaughter becomes hopefully the final face in peril of the night. Sarge is busted now and Superstar clotheslines him down for two. Off to a chinlock but Sarge goes for Superstar’s mask to break it up. Sheik comes in and pounds on Sarge with his cast but a weak USA chant allows Slaughter to punch him down and tag out. Everything breaks down and Blackwell hits a top rope splash on the Sheik for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not a great match here but DANG that was a good looking ending. The referee falling to the mat almost immediately was good as he knew there was no way that wasn’t the ending. Also at the end of the day, it’s hard to go against the AMERICANS winning. Blackwell vs. Sheik went on too long though and this was just another chapter in that war.

Slaughter and Blackwell brag a lot. Blackwell doesn’t like the training Slaughter has been putting him through but he respects him. That almost sounded like a heel turn speech for awhile but nothing comes of it.

Overall Rating: D+. This is one of those shows where the final rating doesn’t reflect the show as a whole. To be clear, none of the matches are what I would call bad. The problem with this show is that it is so freaking REPETITIVE. There are only so many hot tags you can sit through until it means nothing at all anymore. A few singles matches here and there would have helped a lot. Also, where was the world champion? If this is a major show shouldn’t he at least make an appearance? Anyway, the show isn’t bad, but it’s very boring if you sit through it all in one day.

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CWA Championship Wrestling
Date: January 15, 1983
Location: WMC-TV Studios, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Lance Russell, Dave Brown

This is the last episode in this series of CWA shows as I’m sure people are getting tired of this old Memphis stuff. At the end of the day, this is before the idea of supershows as we know them, so it’s hard to have anything to build to other than house shows. Lawler has lost the world title back to Bockwinkel in a rematch which may or may not be mentioned tonight. Let’s get to it.

Sheepherders vs. Ken Raper/Ira Reese

Reese is back for more punishment this week I guess. Reese starts with Luke and the afroed Reese is in trouble quickly. Off to Boyd who snap mares Reese down a few times to keep him in trouble. Back to Luke who holds Reese for some more punishment from Boyd. This is total dominance so far. Reese finally reverses an Irish whip and tags Raper but Luke beats him down almost immediately. The move we would call the Battering Ram puts Raper down for no cover but the double knee drop ends the massacre with Williams getting the pin.

Rating: D. This was barely long enough to rate. Apparently the Sheepherders are tag champions even though you never see them holding belts and this was only called a non-title match at the very end. They were being kept strong here which is the right kind of idea. Russell teases a match with the Fabs soon which would be good.

Speaking of the Fabs, here’s what might be the same video on them from last week.

House show ad, including a mention of SEVEN title matches on the card. These “titles” would never be seen before or mentioned again after these special shows. Jimmy Hart runs his mouth about Koko Ware who has left the First Family. There’s $5000 involved in a tag match at the upcoming show.

Here’s the First Family (with Koko, as we experience the wonders of house show ads being taped in advance and a big production miscue) with the new Mid-America Champion in the form of Bobby Eaton. Hart (the manager of the team) praises Sabu (not that Sabu) for winning his match and says the only cloud over the Family is Sweet Brown Sugar not beating Terry Taylor. Sugar blames Eaton and a brawl is teased. Hart slaps Sugar and we have a face turn. Sugar leaves and we’re told we’ll see how Hart cost Lawler the world title.

We get a clip from the world title rematch starting with Bockwinkel and Lawler both down. A man in a mask who is allegedly Jimmy Hart distracted the referee when Bockwinkel was covered, causing Lawler to go after him. Lawler got rolled up and a handful of tights gave Bockwinkel the title back. Post match the mask is pulled off and it’s…..ANDY KAUFMAN. Back in the arena Hart brags about getting Kaufman back to Memphis to get revenge.

We get ANOTHER clip, this time of Hart and Kaufman, bragging about getting the belt off Lawler. Kaufman offers $5000 to anyone that can put Lawler in the hospital. That would be the five grand mentioned in the house show ad earlier. That’s quite the long segment for 1983 as this ran almost ten minutes in total, not counting the house show ad which could be considered another part of it.

Terry Taylor/Bill Dundee vs. Sweet Brown Sugar/Bobby Eaton

Dundee and Sugar get us going with Dundee hitting a quick hiptoss for one. Taylor comes in and the good guys mess with the referee a bit so they can cheat. That’s a nice touch. Eaton vs. Taylor now as I’m assuming this is 2/3 falls as well. Eaton gets confused again and punched in the face by Taylor. There are some shenanigans going on here from Dundee and Taylor and I kind of like them.

Back to Dundee who dropkicks Eaton into the corner for two. Sugar comes in for a monkey flip and backdrop for one. Taylor comes back in with a sunset flip for two on Sugar which is broken up by Eaton. Bobby comes in and takes over before tagging right back out to Sugar. You know, because he’s done SO well in this match so far. Eaton comes back in almost immediately so a disaster can’t happen. A big powerslam puts Taylor down but the delayed cover only gets two.

A knee drop keeps Taylor down and it’s back to Sugar. Sugar’s chinlock doesn’t last long and Jimmy wants to fight someone. That goes nowhere and Sugar goes up, but his missile dropkick misses Taylor and takes out Eaton, allowing Taylor to get a quick pin to give his team the first fall. Apparently this was just a one fall match. Ok then.

Rating: C+. This was one of the better matches I’ve seen since I’ve been watching this era in Memphis. The only issue is that we knew the split was coming before the match due to the production gaffe from earlier. Sugar would turn soon after this and I’m sure this is the final straw for Jimmy. The match was good and fast paced though and we had an actual story to it. Good stuff.

Eaton and Hart almost get in a fight with Sugar post match. Jimmy goes on a rant and says Sugar has one minute to get out here and apologize or he’s out of the Family. Post break Hart wants Sugar to come out here and shine his shoes. Sugar doesn’t come out so Hart storms off.

Sabu vs. Jerry Lawler

Boy that would mean a much different match today. Before the match Lawler says he’s sick of Hart and all of his cronies and all their bounties and challenges and all that stuff. If Hart wants to, bring all his boys out here right now and let’s do it. Hart and Sabu come out and it’s on fast. Lawler throws Sabu into the ring and the beating begins. They head to the floor and Lawler destroys him with a chair. I don’t think this was anything resembling a match. Actually the referee is letting it keep going. Eaton runs in and gets a right hand from Jerry.

Lawler beats the tar out of Eaton too before heading back in to beat on Sabu some more. Back to Eaton as Jerry has to keep going between the two of them. He doesn’t seem to have many friends here does he? Sabu finally gets in a shot on Lawler with his collar and the beating is on. Some people finally come in to help but get beaten down as well.

Eddie Marlin finally comes out to get the First Family off Jerry. Sabu shoves Marlin and THE PROMOTER PUNCHES HIM BACK! This would be a big deal here as Marlin rarely got involved at all. The Family beats him down and Brown Sugar finally comes in and cements his face turn by beating up the Family. Lawler gets back up and the ring is cleared. Sugar says he isn’t shining anyone’s shoes and he’s out of the Family.

Bobby Fulton/King Cobra vs. Jesse Barr/Adrian Street

This is what they call an expiration of time match, which is basically an iron man match with the time limit of however much time they can give it. Remember all those matches I call 2/3 falls? Forget that because this is what they mean. This is the first time they’ve bothered to explain the rules so it’s a bit confusing. Street and Fulton get us going and Street prances a bit. That gets followed up by jumping on Fulton and kissing him. It was a different time you see.

Street takes him to the mat and works over the leg in a bridging leg lock. Off to Barr who hooks a bearhug, meaning Fulton has gotten hugs and kisses in this match. A headknocker gets Fulton out of it and he pounds on Barr’s head a bit. Off to Cobra who speeds things up a bit before bringing Fulton back in. I guess Cobra got tired after being in there a full fifteen seconds. Cornette trips Fulton and Barr drops a knee for the pin.

After some house show ads featuring Lawler and Sugar saying they’re coming for what’s left of the First Family, we’re told there’s no time for a second fall so the Cornette Dynasty wins.

Rating: C-. Not much here but the time limit thing gets a little annoying after awhile. I get why they do it because they’re saying you don’t know how much wrestling you’ll get so you better stay tuned, but it’s still hard to get used to. Either way, this was decent with Cornette screwing over a future Fantastic feeling just right.

The announcers recap the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was good like last week’s show but in a different way. This time we set up/continued a big angle as Lawler was feuding with Hart and his boys. That feud went on for a LONG time. Also notice how they keep Kaufman’s shadow over Memphis with the bounty being offered without having to have him there. The production gaffe hurt things here as it spoiled the second half of the show, but it was still entertaining which is a good sign.

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