NXT
Date: May 3, 2011
Location: Amway Center, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

We’re here for week 9 I think of this season and tonight we get the blowoff (I guess) to one of the season’s biggest angles (kind of) as Regal faces Novak.  I’d bet on seeing a lot about last night’s Raw and in particular the birthday party for Rock.  Something tells me this is going to be more of the same stuff we’ve seen all season long, which means this show will just kind of be there.  Let’s get to it.

Theme song talks about the theme of the show in a musical format.

Darren Young vs. Chavo Guerrero

Horny is guest referee for no apparent reason.  Titus is on commentary for no apparent reason.  I’m having some connection issues here so there’s a chance this is going to be spotty at times.  I’ll do my best though.  Horny checks every bit of Young’s attire including his hair.  Apparently he has an illegal boot so Darren has to fight in one boot.  Horny stomps on his foot and we’re ready to go.

Titus and Regal debate the merits of wrestling barefoot which is just weird to hear from Titus.  He has a VERY deep voice that almost makes him hard to understand but once you get used to that he’s well spoken and makes some decent points.  Chavo dominates to start with basic stuff and throws on an armbar.  And there goes my feed.  Back with Chavo “hitting” a dive to the floor and by that I mean he mostly crashed and his leg hit Young.  We take an actual break after that.

Back after maybe 10 seconds with another armbar by Chavo.  We hit the floor again as my feed continues to be choppy.  I’m sorry about this guys but we’re having some weather issues here tonight.  Young takes over and fires Chavo into the ring, only to get caught by right hands.  Young gets a cover and Horny won’t count at a regular speed for him.  Regal is in wrestling gear at ringside.

Darren gets in the face of Titus for a bit as Horny still won’t count.  Young keeps pounding away and we hit the chinlock.  Chavo gets a sweet dropkick and a headscissors to take over a bit.  Horny counts for him but gets knocked down on a reversed suplex so he can’t count a Northern Lights Suplex for Young.  And Horny bites Young on what’s about eye level for him, setting up Three Amigos and the Frog Splash to end this at 9:15.  I missed roughly a minute and a half of that if you’re curious.

Rating: C-. What I saw of this was pretty dull as it was Young using his very basic offense on Chavo while Horny wouldn’t count at all.  Not much of a match but it was a god idea of course to have a guy like Chavo out there to help him as he’s going to be fine out there with his basic stuff as always.  That’s what he did here and the majority of what this had is attributed to Chavo as Young is just dull overall.

We see O’Brian and Kozlov talking earlier today about Kozlov saying O’Brian needs special skills.  Kozlov demonstrates his special skills by breaking a board over his head.  O’Brian does the same but might need a doctor.

Conor O’Brian vs. Lucky Cannon

O’Brian grabs a headlock to start as it’s a feeling out process.  Let the boringness begin here as there’s nothing of note going on.  Cannon puts on a headscissor choke as we’re just waiting to get to the end of the match.  O’Brian is a guy that would do FAR better in an old school system as he could develop a character in indy companies and then come back to WWE a few years later.  The problem is he has nothing at all that distinguishes him from any generic wrestler.  Anyway, O’Brian makes a small comeback but Kidd interferes and the reverse FU/Death Valley Driver ends it at 4:11.

Rating: F+. Conor manages to bring down another decent guy on this show.  I don’t know what they see in him other than he’s managing to be the dullest character of all time.  Actually that would imply he has a character.  The thing with him is his in ring stuff isn’t terrible.  It’s not good but it’s passable I guess.  He has zero character or charisma though and I don’t want to watch him in the slightest which is the worst thing you can say about a wrestler.

We recap the Kharma thing last night to explain why Maryse isn’t here.  Anything that lets me see Kelly in those shorts is a good thing.

Saxton comes up to Yoshi and apologizes for attacking him last week.  He wants to fix their relationship but Yoshi cuts him off, saying he needs to check on Maryse.  Saxton says that’s enough and he’s on his own now.

William Regal vs. Jacob Novak

It’s 10:30 and this is your main event, meaning we’re getting a LONG Rock video to end it.  Striker is on commentary for this.  Novak tries to talk like JTG and my head hurts.  He says that Regal is just an announcer so he means nothing.  Novak is going to make him famous.  Just….no.  Regal calls JTG a Muppet so the match is switched.

William Regal vs. JTG

Oh joy.  Basic match to start as Regal does what he can with the jobber heel (I guess?).  Regal sends him to the floor and JTG stalls.  Back in Novak cheats and it does nothing.  About three minutes have passed already and there’s just nothing to say about this match because there’s almost no point to these two fighting.  Regal gets the knee trembler and Novak runs in for the DQ at 6:00.

Rating: D-. I know I shortchanged this match but at the same time I just did not care.  There’s no reason for these two to fight and yet they did it anyway.  The match was boring beyond belief the entire time and the ending just keeps this going even longer.  Novak NEEDS a match with a guy like Regal because it’s kind of interesting actually.  Instead a jobber lost to Regal by DQ.  Terrible main event to a terrible show.

We get a long recap video of last night’s Raw set to a combination of I’m Coming Home by Diddy Dirty Money and Pitbull’s song.  We also see Cole getting beat up.

Overall Rating: F. This was the worst show this season and possibly this entire series has had ever.  The matches were weak, the main event which has had a decent build didn’t happen and nothing interesting happened in the slightest.  This season just needs to end as nothing of note is going on here anymore at all.  There’s no sense of competition and there’s no sense of this ending anytime soon.  It’s like we’re on a treadmill with this show and that’s really getting annoying.  I had zero desire to watch this after about five minutes in and that really does not happen to me when I’m watching wrestling.  Terrible, terrible show.

Results

Chavo Guerrero b. Darren Young – Frog Splash

Lucky Cannon b. Conor O’Brian – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam

William Regal b. JTG via disqualification when Jacob Novak interfered

NXT
Date: April 26, 2011
Location: Greensboro Coliseum, Greensboro, North Carolina
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

Somehow this is two months old already.  Two months.  How in the world has it only been two months?  Anyway, we’re done with the draft now so it’s time to focus on the real important thing tonight: NXT!!!  Please, someone tell me there’s an elimination coming soon.  I can’t take these six guys on the show for another month.  Let’s get to it.

Maryse and Striker bring out the rookies and pros.  It’s time to play How Well Do You Know Your Pro.  This is the game where the teams are given a question and have to match their answers.  Is there a reason why the games are always the same and they NEVER come up with anything else?

First question is what is the one thing your rookie does better than any other rookie.  Byron says he speaks better, Tatsu says just wrestle.  Nice knowing you Yoshi.  Connor, with mutton chops, says punish people, Kozlov says fire up.  Young says he doesn’t care what Chavo said and that he thinks he’s a better wrestler than Chavo.  Chavo’s card says wrestle but it’s not a match.  Novak says he makes it look good, JTG says fly, which is apparently a match.  Cannon says this is about him, Kidd says best attire.  Titus says connect with the WWE Universe, Horny says bark.  Novak is the only one with a point.

Question two is if you can’t be a superstar, you should be what.  Regal talks about other jobs he used to have, such as working as a bouncer and wringing out sponges for a one armed window cleaner.  Byron says news reporter and is wrong as I didn’t see the card.  Conor says fighter, Vlad says firefighter which isn’t a match.  Young says he doesn’t care and Chavo says tax man.  Since when does Chavo wear glasses?

Novak says there is no answer because he will be the next breakout star.  JTG thinks hip hop MC.  Cannon wants to know how many times Maryse threw up in her mouth after kissing Yoshi but Kidd says fashion designer.  O’Neil says dogcatcher, Horny says bodyguard.  This ate up ten minutes and managed to make this show even weaker.  Regal again saves it, saying he understands why Cole left this show.  Novak wins with the only correct answer out of ten total.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

Young is being all aggressive to start and we hit the floor with Young in control.  Darren and Chavo are a weird pairing as they’re kind of both heels and yet they’re feuding.  Horny plays cheerleader to get Titus out of a chinlock.  Big old sideslam gets two.  Titus has beaten Young twice this season already so this is billed as a rivalry.  We’re in North Carolina so Young throws on a Figure Four.  Chavo won’t help him though so Young walks into a Low Down to end this at approximately 3:30.  My feed messed up so I missed a few parts but the match couldn’t have been longer than four minutes.

Rating: C-. Decent little match here as Titus continues to be pushed to the moon.  Ok maybe to outer space as I don’t think you can get to the moon from NXT.  Young arguing with Chavo is a nice little touch as it gives you a reason to pay attention to them, which is fine as Young is probably the best all around of these six.  Having a talented pro helps a lot too so they’re probably the best pairing.

Jacob Novak/JTG vs. Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian

The idea of putting a weak guy with a good guy is foreign on this show isn’t it?  Novak calls out Regal again as maybe my previous statement should be retracted.  Novak says Rega’s career is over which makes Regal stand up.  Regal says he’s over 40 and has lived 1000 lifetimes.  However, if Novak thinks he’s going to let a Muppet like Novak tell him what he’s going to do, Novak is crazy.  Regal wants a match RIGHT NOW.  Novak of course says no because he’s in the tag match but he’ll take on Regal next week.  I guess the big brawl of a feud is penciled in.

Novak and Kozlov start us off as Regal is eerily calm.  O’Brian and Kozlov send Novak to the floor as we take a break.  Regal calls JTG a waste of space and one of the worst people in the WWE.  Preach it brother man.  Back with JTG hitting a clothesline for two on O’Brian.  O’Brian fights back but stops to hit Novak like a good man but JTG takes over again.  Novak hammers on him a bit as Regal talks about lighting Novak on fire in the middle of winter and using his burning flesh to warm his hands.  Vince….about that offer for help for any employee…

The rookies hit the mat as we hear about how impressive Novak has been lately.  Regal takes credit for that which is saying a lot as I’ve become more and more bored by him week in and week out.  Naturally the two guys that are joined at the hop this season get to work the majority of the match.  O’Brian gets a DDT to break the momentum and it’s off to Vlad.  JTG gets involved and everything breaks down.  Novak fights off a double team and hits a big boot to O’Brian to end this at 6:45.

Rating: D+. I know this is getting into a good bit of personal bias, but I do not care about these two anymore.  Novak is trying with the whole Regal thing but it’s nothing.  If they let Novak go over Regal it’ll help him a bit but at the end of the day, Novak and O’Brian have no point being here and yet they’re never thrown off and are even brought back.  I don’t get it at all.  Match was just kind of there anyway.

Raw ReBound recaps the Draft of course.

Someone has destroyed Maryse’s purse so she rants to Tatsu in French.  She blames Lucky and goes off to check on her shoes.  Tatsu comes up to Saxton and asks if he’s seen Lucky.  Saxton gets annoyed with Tatsu not being his pro and says Tatsu can come to the ring for his match with Cannon.  Good to see Saxton showing some serious nature.

Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon

Saxton takes over to start as we hit the floor.  The crowd is SILENT.  Do you know how hard it is to kill fans in North freaking Carolina???  Big boot gets two for Cannon.  Triangle choke by Cannon gets him nowhere.  We hit the chinlock as Todd talks about Tatsu and Kidd going to Smackdown along with Regal, meaning they can hang out together.  Regal goes into a rather depressing speech about having no friends.  Grisham says the two of them get along.  Regal says in total deadpan that they don’t.  This was almost saddening.

Saxton makes his comeback and gets two off a shot from the middle rope.  Rollup gets the same.  We reference Gorgeous George and Chanel #10.  Kidd breaks up a pin attempt so Yoshi takes him out.  Cannon takes out Yoshi so he can tell Maryse he had nothing to do with this.  Yoshi comes in for the DQ at 5:44.  Saxton beats up Yoshi and gets beaten up by Cannon post match.

Rating: C-. Not terrible here but this was more or less the Maryse match rather than Cannon vs. Saxton.  That being said, it’s hardly a bad thing as she’s far more interesting and charismatic than both of them.  Match was only there to set up the finish which is ok, but it gets annoying after awhile.

Maryse might be impressed by Cannon.

Overall Rating: D. This didn’t do it for me at all.  They seem like they’re just going in circles at this point with nothing at all coming to help this show.  O’Brian needs to go as he has nothing going on at all.  Even Novak has something to do here.  Still no mention of an elimination as I really think it’s going to be one winner and no eliminations throughout the season.  It’s never been this far into a season without one so maybe that’s what they’re going with.  Anyway, bad show here but there are at least some stories coming together, which would help this show a lot.

Results

Jacob Novak won the How Well Do You Know Your Pro Challenge

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Sitout Spinebuster

JTG/Jacob Novak b. Conor O’Brian/Vladimir Kozlov – Big boot to O’Brian

Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton via DQ when Yoshi Tatsu interfered

NXT
Date: April 19, 2011
Location: O2 Arena, London, England
Commentators: William Regal, Josh Matthews

Week I think seven here as I’m starting to think no one is ever going home.  I don’t mean that as hyperbole either.  I’m thinking that it might be just one winner declared at the end rather than having eliminations.  We don’t have much going on here probably as it’s another show in England which rarely get anything other than a token title change.  Let’s get to it.

It’s interesting to me that all of the major shows in a major city like London are in the same city.  Not saying it’s a bad thing but when you have shows in multiple major arenas in multiple cities in the same state in the same week at times normally, it’s kind of interesting to see.

One other note: I’ve been having very bad connection issues all night so I’m not sure if my internet is going to hold up 100% through the show.  I’ll do the best I can though.

First up we have the joust challenge and there’s no Striker this week.  The joust this time is a tug of war on the pedestals.  There are three random matches and whoever Maryse says does best goes to the finals.  O’Brian beats Saxton, Novak beats Young (WITH CONTROVERSY!!!!!  They went off at the same time and had to go to the replay) and Cannon beats Titus by DQ because Titus tried to pick up too much rope or something.

This is flying by as they’ve done the first three in maybe 2 minutes.  Cannon goes to the finals for being the most obnoxious.  Ok then.  Novak beats O’Brian and then Cannon (who gave up) in the finals to win.  This took less than five minutes combined.  Novak gets two points.  Novak steals Cannon’s robe.

That’s What I Am ad.

JTG introduces Novak who is apparently a street guy now.  He’s privileged to be an American apparently.  It’s time to talk to Regal whose name gets a solid pop.  Saxton and Kozlov cut them off and it’s time for O’Brian vs. Novak.  Oh joy.  What is this, their 5^th match?

Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian

Novak takes over early and gets a clothesline to put O’Brian down.  We’re in the chinlock less than two minutes in.  The lack of charisma here is so high it’s unreal.  Novak puts him down with a big boot as the fans chant for Regal.  O’Brian gets a rollup for a quick three abut the referee says shoulder was up, despite him slapping the mat three times.  O’Brian grabs a rollup which Novak yells at Regal to end this at 3:03.  Man I have to grade it.

Rating: D-. Jacob Novak has managed to reach a level of boring that I didn’t think existed.  I mean good grief this guy is just not interesting at all.  They’ve tried to give him the character of being made a street guy by JTG and it doesn’t fit him but that character doesn’t fit him (I hope that made sense to you because it only kind of did to me).  O’Brian isn’t any better.  The problem is they have no characters and are just people with names that wrestle.  There were names for those kind of people back in the 80s: they were called jobbers.

Post match Novak shoves Regal who charges at him until JTG gets between them.

We recap (thankfully not re-air) the Morrison/Truth segment from last night which was a pretty good heel turn I thought.  The recap is actually rather good, making the whole beating seem epic and making Truth look like he’s completely evil.

Saxton and Yoshi talk about Maryse in the back.  Saxton says slow it down a bit.  Yoshi says it’s cool.  Maryse comes up and asks Yoshi to come shopping with her.  Yoshi gets a kiss on the cheek and pays no attention to what Saxton suggests about their tag match later on.

Hornswoggle vs. Darren Young

Young is blindfolded and has an arm tied behind his back.  Apparently Young shot his mouth off backstage and Chavo “just happens to have a rope right here.”  What kind of freaky stuff is Chavo up to when he’s waiting on his matches?  Also whose side is Chavo on here?  He just happens to have a blindfold in his pocket too.  I know you can make the argument that Chavo had time to get this stuff, but where do you find rope and a blindfold in a foreign city on such short notice?  Odd indeed.

Regal randomly talks about how he used to manage the five Spice Girls but now at his age he can only manage two.  It was as random as it sounds.  This is exactly what you would expect it to be.  Horny moves around and when the referee is distracted Young cheats by moving the blindfold with his right arm.  Young gets shoved off the ropes and Horny hits the Tadpole Splash to end it at 1:28.  This was one of those comedy matches where they left out the comedy.

Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon/Tyson Kidd

WOW I completely forgot Kidd was on this show.  There’s a lot of time for this match too.  Maryse is at ringside here.  The rookies start us off but Cannon wants Yoshi.  I know this because he shouts I WANT YOSHI.  Off to Tatsu whose music sounds like constantly saying the word chimichanga.  Listen to it over and over again and you’ll hear it too.  This isn’t just me being random.  Regal is talking about ground beef for some reason.

The pros are in there rather quickly and Kidd can’t get a backslide.  Tatsu gets an appropriately Japanese armdrag and works the arm a bit as it’s off to Saxton.  Bryon has the armbar on with his back to Yoshi yet Yoshi has his arm out for a tag anyway.  Jumping back elbow gets two for Byron.  Off to Yoshi again as Regal talks about how he would never be able to make it in this kind of environment.  I’m not sure what you can really draw out of that but there’s something there.

Kidd gets kicked in the face and clotheslined to the floor as we take a break.  Back with Cannon holding Saxton in a modified triangle choke.  That lasts a few seconds as we have to see a replay of what happened during the break.  Kidd jumped Cannon apparently to give his team the advantage.  Off to Kidd again who gets the dreaded “aggression” tag put on him.

Sunset flip by Saxton gets two but he can’t keep the arms down.  Regal actually has a name for getting the legs over the arms, which is apparently called the double legged nelson.  That’s a new one on me.  Saxton tries to fight back but gets kicked in the head by Cannon to take him back down.  Cannon gets him down and hammers away while yelling at him.  “It’s all” *WHACK* “about” *WHACK* “ME!” *WHACK* Not quite Magnum and Tully but it’s something I guess.

Saxton fights back and it’s a double tag to bring in the pros.  Tatsu takes over and a big kick gets a long two.  The crowd is starting to get into this now.  That says something about the rookies I think.  Shining Wizard gets two.  Yoshi sets for something but Cannon hits on Maryse.  Yoshi gets distracted and a Moss Covered Three Handled Family Credenza from Kidd ends him at 11:26.  And yes that’s the real name of the move.

Rating: C-. Pretty boring match here but it might be the longest match of the entire season so far.  The rookies weren’t that interesting and Saxton was in there for too much of the match to keep it interesting.  He’s not the worst of the rookies by far but his in ring work leaves a lot to be desired as far as being past the basics goes.  Not a terrible match but nothing great at all.

Overall Rating: D. Well the main event wasn’t terrible but the rest of the show isn’t interesting other than the Maryse thing if you really stretch it.  The problem at the end of the day is simply that the rookies aren’t very good with the main two here being Novak and O’Brian.  O’Neil has a look, Saxton has charisma, Cannon is a decent heel and Young is the best in the ring and has some experience.

Then you get to O’Brian and Novak.  What in the world do these two have to offer?  Whatever WWE thinks it is, I’m not seeing it.  They’re not charismatic, they have no characters, they’re not anything past average at best in the ring, they get zero reactions, and yet they’re here again.  If you cut those two off, this show goes WAY up in value, yet there wasn’t a single word about eliminations again tonight.  Not a horrible show as they cut down on the Raw stuff, which makes sense as there wasn’t as much on last night’s show.  Anyway, not terrible but Novak and O’Brian are killing this thing.

Results

Jacob Novak won the Pull Through Challenge

Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup

Hornswoggle b. Darren Young – Tadpole Splash

Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Fisherman’s Suplex into a spinning neckbreaker to Tatsu

NXT
Date: April 12, 2011
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

Another week here in NXT Land as hopefully we get the announcement of the first elimination.  This season has gone on for a long time already and thankfully they’ve shifted away from the whole obsession with challenges.  I can live with boring wrestling as that’s at least not harming my intelligence.  Also tonight we get Maryse’s decision and reply to DiBiase’s ultimatum last week.  Let’s get to it.

We recap last week’s stuff with Maryse and DiBiase.

Striker brings out Maryse who says she can find other millionaires besides Ted.  She picks NXT.  Well that was abrupt.  So she’s single now?  Anyway here are the Rookies.  The hosts go over the Redemption Points standings which are as follows:

O’Neil 9

Young 7

Saxton 4

Everyone Else 0

The challenge tonight is the Power of the Punch with the punching bag thing.  First up is Saxton who gets 649.  Second is Novak with 465.  Third is 469.  Regal wants royalties from the title of this.  O’Brian gets 770 to give Rat Boy the lead.  O’Neil blasts it to give him 801 and Cannon says he’s here to win championships and is above this so O’Neil wins.  Could they push this guy any stronger?  He gets four Redemption Points.  Cannon gets in Titus’ face and says this is about him rather than everyone else.  He hits on Maryse who more or less says get out of his face.

Cue Yoshi who gets between them.  Lucky gets mad at him and challenges Yoshi for a match and invites Maryse to be at ringside.

O’Neil vs. Young later.

First though: a new WWE trailer!!!  This is called “That’s What I Am” and it has Randy Orton and Ed Harris in it.  It’s set in the 60s and appears to be about bullying.  Orton looks to be in about one scene in it, which might be the best idea possible.

Titus O’Neil vs. Darren Young

Pre match Darren yells at Horny and calls him a bootleg leprechaun.  Chavo warns Darren, saying that Horny is tough.  Darren takes him down with ease and we’re in the chinlock less than a minute in.  After a two count it’s off to a Cravate.  Regal wants to eat Hornswoggle apparently.  Amazingly enough we get the explanation for the arm pose during Titus’ bark: it’s the symbol of his fraternity from college.  As we have that explained to us, Darren yells at Horny and gets rolled up by Titus for the pin at 2:30.  Match was dull while it lasted.

Post match Young beats up Titus with a gutbuster and goes after Horny.  Chavo tells Young to chill and focus so he lets Horny go.

Here’s JTG and we get a recap of his bet with Kozlov.  The idea is JTG can make Novak look more fly than Kozlov could make O’Brian a beast.  Regal talked to someone at Rosetta Stone (a company that helps you learn other languages) and figured out what they were talking about.  Funny stuff.

Here’s Novak, looking kind of like Slam Master J if you remember him.  Novak just says no as JTG hasn’t gotten him a single point.  Aren’t they just tiebreakers?  The guy that Vanilla Ice looks at and says “Dude you look like an idiot” yells at Regal about what Regal has been saying about him.  Whenever Regal is ready, Novak will show him what he can do.  It was meant as a threat.

Jacob Novak vs. Byron Saxton

Novak is in jeans here.  Regal talks about the people he’s helped along in their careers and how they’ve all turned on him.  He’s rather upset over this as Saxton gets a clothesline to put Novak on the floor.  Regal says he always wiped his feet before he got in the ring because that was his temple.  Regal is really ticked off about this actually and it’s kind of cool to hear.

No one is really taking over here until Saxton tries to get some offense going.  Bulldog gets two.  Regal is talking about Japanese wrestling for some reason.  He said wrestlers also so expect the debut of Arn Anderson on commentary next week.  Big boot by Novak ends this abruptly at 3:40.

Rating: D+. Well I think everyone knew that it would be Novak winning here which is fine.  He’s dying for some kind of character and I guess this is better than nothing.  They’re trying at least so points for that.  The problem is that Novak is boring both on the mic and in the ring.  If he was actually entertaining in any possible way this would help but he simply isn’t at all.

We get the Edge retirement speech last night.  It blows my mind that this is real still but if Edge is losing feeling in his arms and is that hurt, by all means he should retire.  There’s no reason for him to risk paralysis or death for the sake of one more run, especially when he’s got perhaps the best resume in WWE history.  I got to watch him earlier this year at a house show and he was awesome there and had probably the match of the night.  I won’t call it a shame though, as like I said if this makes his health last longer, more power to him.  This eats up about 10 minutes.

Lucky Cannon vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Maryse is on commentary here.  Regal doesn’t like the Titantron video of Tatsu because it’s mainly Regal getting kicked in the head.  Apparently Lucky’s nickname, Mr. Delish, is the name of a French dish made of potatoes and cheese.  Ok then.  Cannon says it’s about HIM and Maryse says it’s about her and as long as she has chocolate, credit cards and stilettos she’s happy.  All Cannon for the early part of this until Cannon walks into a kick to the head on the floor.  Yoshi takes over back in the ring and fires off some kicks.  Spin wheel kick off the top ends this clean at 3:08.

Rating: C-. Just a match here but the commentary was funny.  Maryse is wittier than you would give her credit for.  Not terrible but it played off the main story of the show which is the right idea for this show.  They don’t have much to work with so using it well like this is a good sign.  Not bad but just a bookend for the angle.

Maryse kisses Yoshi post match and his eyes are hilarious.

Overall Rating: B-. Amazingly enough this was a pretty entertaining show.  The lack of stupid challenges and the rise of WRESTLING MATCHES on here helps a lot.  I’m more than happy with three matches a night and one quick challenge.  They have small stories here but they really do need to cut some of the fat here.  Probably the best show of the season, which is a good sign.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Power of the Punch Challenge

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Rollup

Jacob Novak b. Byron Saxton – Big Boot

Yoshi Tatsu b. Lucky Cannon – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick

NXT
Date: April 5, 2011
Location: Time Warner Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is week number five and now we’re back to the regular kind of NXT shows where we only lose 10 minutes a week to the main show building stuff.  The season needs to get moving along though as we haven’t heard about an elimination yet and I can’t take much more Jacob Novak.  Anyway this is kind of a new year show in the WWE logic so maybe the energy from last night will carry over here.  Let’s get to it.

Now that I’ve found what city this is in, we can get going.  WWE.com recently redesigned, making it a lot harder to

We bring out the rookies and go over the scores.  O’Neil has 9 points, Young has 7 and everyone else has zero.  The first challenge is a trivia game.  The idea is a category is named and you have to give an answer in that category as we go down the line.  First up is Wrestlemania 27 winners.  Young says Bret Hart right off the bat and is gone.  Cannon asks where Matt’s girlfriend was last night because Cannon does.  O’Brian can’t come up with anything.

Next category is 2011 HOF inductees.  We have Novak, O’Neil and Saxton left.  Novak is gone because he repeats Bob Armstrong.  Category 3 is name any former NXT rookie.  After saying themselves they list off the Nexus and this goes on for awhile.  No girls named yet until Titus repeats Saxton and gives Saxton the win and 4 points.  I’d bet almost anything on him winning whatever match he’s in tonight.

Titus/Horny vs. Young/Chavo tonight.  Yes, it’s Chavo vs. Hornswoggle again.

Jacob Novak vs. Conor O’Brian

Kozlov’s arm is in a sling.  Conor works on the arm to start as we talk about the color of Novak’s tights.  Now he works the leg.  I think this is supposed to be a long running feud on NXT.  The problem with this is that Rat Boy is the far better of the two, which coming from me you know isn’t a good thing.  Novak takes over with various stuff and gets a neckbreaker for two.

We hit the chinlock with O’Brian in trouble.  Regal talks about the NXT guys going around at Mania weekend and picking the brains of legends and pros, which is a good job by Regal of playing up the whole “they’re rookies” thing.  Regal insists he never threw European Uppercuts but rather British Uppercuts.  While he goes on about that, O’Brian rolls Novak up for the pin at 4:15.

Rating: D. Again, these two are just there.  It’s the problem with this entire show and the majority of the WWE farm system: these guys are just people.  There’s nothing distinguishing the vast majority of them other than Cannon being the ladies man or whatever he is.  This is definitely the biggest proof of that as these two are the most generic people I can remember this side of Johnny Curtis.  Dull match from these two as usual.

Cannon comes up to Tatsu and says he’s sorry for last week and that he thinks Maryse likes Tatsu.  He points out that Maryse is right over there so Tatsu should ask her out.  Tatsu does, apparently not caring that DiBiase is right next to her and gets beaten up as he should.  Maryse yells at Ted but Ted says Yoshi couldn’t afford Maryse, which makes Maryse leave with him, seemingly willingly.

Long video on the Hall of Fame class of 2011.  Carey was gracious at least and acknowledged he didn’t do much.  Why Bob Armstrong is in there is beyond me.

Kozlov brags to JTG about how his rookie beat JTG’s rookie.  JTG says Novak’s rookie is generic.  JTG’s rookie is Jacob Novak if you’ve forgotten.  This is like some weird argument at a little league game.  They make an unspecified wager on who can make their rookie look better first.

Darren Young/Chavo Guerrero vs. Hornswoggle/Titus O’Neil

Make this quick.  The rookies start us off as we debate whether or not Titus should ever tag in Horny.  Titus has an incredible look but he looks like he’s had a total of 9 seconds of ring time.  Horny doesn’t want a tag so it’s Titus vs. Chavo.  We hear the history of Chavo vs. Horny as my head shakes.  Chavo does what he can but he’s not a miracle worker.

Horny tags himself in and the pop is of course big.  Horny wants Young and what the leprechaun wants the leprechaun gets.  Young gets on his knees as we waste a lot of time.  They actually do a test of strength and Horny kicks him in the ribs.  There’s the tag back to Titus who gets a powerslam and barks.  Chavo gets knocked to the floor which is called a tag and Titus lays down for the frog splash.  Horny bites Chavo’s leg and hides under the ring to prevent the move.  Young comes at Titus but walks into the Sky High (I heard this was called the Clash of the Titan but I’m not sure) to end it at 4:30.

Rating: C-. For a comedy tag match this wasn’t too bad.  Titus isn’t as bad as he was in the second season as he now has a big power move like he was needing badly.  Horny was there for the kids and that worked fine.  Not horrid here but it’s nothing I ever want to see again.

We get the full Rock/Cena thing from last night.  I’m not sure if they’re going to make it all the way to Wrestlemania and I’m not sure if it’s a great idea, but it’s certainly something worth paying attention to.  Rock saying he respects Cena and getting booed for it does not come off as a good sign at all though.  Fashion advice from the Tooth Fairy is still a good line.  I still don’t get the Corre’s involvement or why Booker laughed when they came out.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Ted DiBiase

Well at least this has some build to it.  We also get Tatsu’s awesome song so that helps a lot.  Regal talks about fighting a hunchback over a tattooed dwarf, incorporating a Percy Sledge song in the same sentence.  DiBiase takes him down quickly and gets a double stomp off the middle rope.  Regal says getting rid of Maryse would enhance his career.  Grisham says that Tatsu would like to have his samurai sword pierce her heart.  Wouldn’t that kill her???  He also calls this a Haku as Regal said it was poetic.  And then Ted goes off on Tatsu and gets disqualified for beating on him too much at 2:00.  Ok then.

Maryse yells at DiBiase so DiBiase says it’s NXT or him and she has a week to decide.

Overall Rating: C. This was probably the best show this season but I’m not sure how much that’s saying.  The matches weren’t anything great but the pacing was better, they kept the challenges to a minimum and the comedy was a bit better.  Not a good show but FAR less annoying this week, which is a huge upgrade for them.

Results

Byron Saxton won the Hot Seat Trivia Challenge

Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak – Rollup

Titus O’Neil/Hornswoggle b. Chavo Guerrero/Darren Young

Yoshi Tatsu b. Ted DiBiase via DQ when DiBiase repeatedly punched Tatsu

NXT
Date: March 29, 2011
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

It’s week….four I think of this season and this was taped last night before Raw as everyone is heading to Atlanta to make sure they get there in time I guess.  I’d bet on a lot of highlights from last night and build for Mania which is probably the right idea for tonight as it’s not like this is cutting edge stuff on this show.  Let’s get to it.

Striker brings out the rookies as you would expect him to.  I’m typing and not looking at the browser as I write this and it occurs to me that the names of these guys tell us absolutely nothing about these characters.  None of them have descriptive names or even unique ones.  That’s been a problem with the NXT rookies recently.  Novak has gold tights on now.  Is that his method of trying to look different other than those off-white ones he usually wears?

Young has seven points and O’Neil has five which is all that is listed.  Tonight: arm wrestling.  Oh dear.  The fans are restless to say the least.  This is for four points.  The person that wins their first round match in the fastest time gets a bye to the finals.  Young vs. Saxton goes to Young in 23.7 seconds.  The fans are looking like they’re getting a reading of War and Peace at a Guns N Roses concert.

Cannon vs. O’Brian is delayed due to Cannon sanitizing Rat Boy.  Cannon tries to cheat and is disqualified and that counts as the new time of 11.2 seconds.  Novak vs. O’Neil now and O’Neil has lost the manly purple tights.  Novak tries to cheat again and that doesn’t count but it’s not a DQ.  He started early I guess.  O’Neil massacres him and gets the best time to send him to the finals.

O’Brien beats Young to get O’Neil in the finals.  And Titus wins with only a slight issue.  O’Neil has the most redemption points now.

Six man tag later so we’re getting one match here.

Rock vs. Cena video.  Can’t argue with them pushing this.

Package on Young who says he’s not taking a step back but rather a step forward.  I still would like an answer of how a guy that was in the main event of Summerslam is in a rookie competition.

Video on Taker vs. HHH that aired last night.

We recap the Divas/Snooki/Morrison/Ziggler thing.  Oh joy: more mainstream news people trying to sound like wrestling commentators when they have no idea what a wrestling commentator sounds like.

Some R&B singer is singing America the Beautiful.  She’s not Justin Bieber so I’m happy.

Raw ReBound is Rock vs. Cena last night which it should be.  That Attitude Adjustment is going to be on more highlight reels than I can count.  But remember people, according to 411, HHH/Taker/Shawn was a bigger moment.

Speaking of said moment, it’s reaired.  It was good but they had to fit five weeks of build into one night and it didn’t work.  Shawn should be interesting on Sunday though.  This takes up about fifteen minutes but it does set up a single match as well as just about anything else could in that amount of time, especially one without a ton of build aside from “I want to break the Streak.”  The one good thing here is that I can find out what Shawn said after he said I’m sorry.  Apparently it was (to HHH) you can’t win.

Titus O’Neil/Byron Saxton/Conor O’Brian vs. Darren Young/Jacob Novak/Lucky Cannon

No entrances for anyone as I have a feeling this is going to be quick.  Cannon vs. O’Brian to start us off with O’Brian working on the arm.  Off to O’Neil as the crowd does not care at all here.  It’s hard to kill off a Chicago crowd but they’ve managed to do it.  Young comes in and gets nowhere other than into the other corner to be beaten down by Saxton.

Young tries to take over and gets kicked in the face.  Elbow puts Saxton down and it’s off to Novak.  Cannon comes in and does his DDT on the leg of Saxton and stretches him a bit.  Saxton fights back so it’s off to Young to beat him down even more.  Novak puts a chinlock on him after a brief melee and that lasts only a few seconds.  Ice cold tag to O’Neil and after he beats on them a bit, a Low Down/spinebuster ends this.  Match ran about six or seven minutes but I forgot to check the time at the end.

Rating: D. They’re trying to make O’Neil the big star this season and it’s kind of working I guess but the fans aren’t caring at all.  The problem is that this is spending 3-4 months to build up to the next season of NXT.  More or less this is a preview of it, making the whole thing six to eight months overall.  Wow this was supposed to be about the six man wasn’t it?  The match was dull with far too many chinlocks and standing around.

Overall Rating: D. What do you really want me to say here?  This was a 40 minute highlight show with arm wrestling and a six man tag.  Obviously I can’t grade it like a regular show but it was more or less 45 minutes to build Mania free so how much can you complain there?  More or less not even an NXT show but it’s not like we’re missing much.  Just a Mania commercial as expected.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Arm Wrestling Contest

Conor O’Brian/Titus O’Neil/Byron Saxton b. Lucky Cannon/Darren Young/Jacob Novak – O’Neil pinned Novak after a sitout powerbomb

NXT
Date: March 22, 2011
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

Ok so it’s week three now and there is nothing to say at all.  I mean really there’s nothing to talk about regarding this show that I haven’t said already.  The guys aren’t interesting, the wrestling is just ok and the challenges are exactly the same thing we’ve seen every season so far.  I have no idea what else to say here so let’s get to it.

One quick note: my feed kept cutting out during this show so if I missed anything I apologize.

The show opens with the usual introduction of the rookies.  Wild and Young is a nice add-on here.  Regal likes Young the best out of the guys in this season.  We go over the Redemption points standings which Maryse gets wrong.  The first challenge is a battle of the mics….and there goes my feed.  Apparently this is about insulting the other people.  Ah there it is.  It’s a tournament style thing apparently.

First up is Saxton vs. Novak.  Novak tries to rap and makes fun of Columbus.  This is awful.  Saxton says nothing of note as he makes fun of Cannon’s robe and wins by default here more or less.

Up next is O’Brian vs. O’Neil.  O’Brian makes fun of the MAKE IT A WIN thing.  O’Neil makes fun of O’Brian’s nose and it’s just awful.  O’Neil somehow wins due to Horny.  I give up.

Young vs. Cannon now.  Young makes fun of the robe and says forget about Maryse.  Cannon makes fun of the Ohio State Buckeyes (College basketball team that is on a roll at the moment) for no apparent reason as it’s going to get him eliminated.  I guess he’s just not that smart.  Young of course wins although Regal makes an interesting point, saying that it was a win for Cannon because the people actually responded.

So it’s a three way of talking between Saxton, Young and O’Neil.  Saxton rambles about O’Neil and dogs and then makes fun of Young’s hair.  O’Neil basically does a commercial for Gillette and I have no idea why this man is on my computer screen as he’s an idiot.  Young says that O’Neil is old and that he looks better than Saxton.  This was AWFUL.  I kid you not, the crowd boos all three guys so they do it again to see who gets booed the least with Young winning.

We recap the previous two weeks for no apparent reason.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil

O’Neil has purple tights and gold boots plus a leprechaun in the corner.  Could this guy be a bigger joke?  Young is so far ahead of O’Neil it’s unreal and yet he’s nothing worth talking about at all.  We hit the chinlock quickly as the fans are into O’Neil only due to Horny.  Backbreaker by O’Neil gets two.  They go to the corner for a bit and Chavo helps.  Naturally Horny goes after Chavo and Titus hits a powerbomb to end it at 3:00.

Rating: D-. Since there won’t be much to grade here due to a lack of wrestling on this show, I’ll throw this out for you.  These two aren’t any good in the ring although Young is watchable I guess.  See, that’s not a good sign when the clearly best guy on the show is only watchable.  Terrible match and I couldn’t wait for it to be over, which isn’t good at all.

We see the Taker/HHH video from last night which is only cool for the legends in there.  I am not feeling this match in the slightest.

Cannon hits on Maryse and gets slapped.  Yoshi laughs and gets slapped.  Cannon laughs at Yoshi and gets punched.  Riveting.

Video on Lucky Cannon talks about how different he is.  He doesn’t want to hear about Season 2 anymore so let’s talk about him more.  It’s all about him and he’s, blast it all, winning.  Can we get Charlie Sheen drawn and quartered please?

Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian vs. JTG/Jacob Novak

And Striker makes it a dance off.  Regal says he’s a heck of a dancer.  I think we’ve seen that before and it was awesome if I remember it right.  Regal is cracking me up with him ripping into JTG and says that his only talent is stealing.  Apparently his sister in law is a great shoplifter and whatever Todd wants from her can be here next week.  Vlad and O’Brian destroy them of course and this is a squash.  Somehow they were synchronized on this if you can believe that.

We get the ending of Raw last night with the new belt and Cena actually being there.  I’ll give them credit for the Cena thing as not only was it surprising but it kept things from being hypocritical on his part.

Byron Saxton vs. Lucky Cannon

And this is your main event people.  I want this show to die.  They slug it out in the corner to start with Cannon in control.  Saxton fires off some shoulders but Kidd distracts him to allow Cannon to get a big boot to take over.  Neckbreaker gets two for Lucky.  There’s a chinlock with the knee in the back as JTG tells Horny how to take notes apparently.

A second neckbreaker is blocked and Saxton takes him down.  My screen keeps freezing so I’m not sure on a lot of the moves.  I also know that it doesn’t mean a thing at all here.  Kidd is at least coaching here.  Saxton hits the post and it’s that reverse DVD/FU that Cannon used before to end this at 3:30.

Rating: F+. Was there any point to this?  It was two guys in there doing moves on each other and that’s it.  I mean there was no point to it, there was nothing of note, there was just three and a half minutes of nothing here.  What a great allegory or visualization of this entire show.

Cannon beats up Yoshi post match to end the show.

Overall Rating: F. Like I said at the beginning of this show, I’ve got nothing.  I mean there is nothing at all to talk about on this show.  There’s nothing of interest in the entire show and there’s nothing at all to say about it.  I almost dread watching this show anymore which is saying a lot as I’ve watched wrestling for nearly the entire 23 years that I’ve been alive and love it very much.  I enjoyed 2000 Thunder for crying out loud.  Terribly dull show indeed.

Results

Titus O’Neil b. Darren Young – Powerbomb

Vladimir Kozlov/Conor O’Brian b. JTG/Jacob Novak in a dance off

Lucky Cannon b. Byron Saxton – Fireman’s carry into a mat slam

NXT
Date: March 15, 2011
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: William Regal, Todd Grisham

I don’t want to do this.  I truly and honestly don’t.  I see absolutely zero point to this show existing anymore, at least with this cast.  Jacob Novak continues to make me want to hit myself with a blunt object and yet he’s still around.  The only thing I have other than that is apparently redemption points are the tiebreakers for this season which helps a bit.  Let’s get to it.

We open with the theme song and Striker/Maryse (looking amazing in a blue dress) who introduce the pairings.  Apparently the winner also gets to pick their pro for next season.  First up is the Talk the Talk challenge.  The topic is about themselves though, taking away any entertainment value this segment has.

Novak the Uninteresting goes first and is booed before he starts.  Novak raps and it’s bad.  The fans boo the city name pop.  That says a lot.

Young is second and he goes in front of the fans.  He says with the people is where he belongs.  That’s why he stands in front of a barrier between them.  He also uses Christian’s TNA catchphrase of “if you didn’t know, now you know.”  Moderately well received.

O’Brian continues to try to be all serious and gets a better reaction by saying Kansas City.  He talks about dreams and just kind of stops talking rather than finishing if that makes sense.

Saxton talks about himself, including having a hamster named Speedy and that he loves Madden.  He makes fun of Cannon’s robe and thanks the fans for a second chance.

Cannon says he has Adonis DNA.  If that’s a Charlie Sheen reference, I may injure that person.  It’s all about him apparently.  Regal likes him.

Titus, wearing purple trunks, does his bark and says he talked to Horny earlier today and it went like this.  And then he speaks in gibberish.  The buzzer cuts him off.

Shockingly the crowd gets to pick the winner and it’s O’Neil, barely beating out Saxton.

Profile on O’Neil who says he wasn’t being himself because he’s used to everything just coming to him.

Darren Young vs. Conor O’Brian

There’s a Darren chant as we get going here.  Young controls early, hammering on O’Brian with European uppercuts in the corner.  That gets him nowhere as he gets sent shoulder first into the corner.  I haven’t heard a crowd this quiet in a very long time.  Wisely O’Brian works on the arm using a variety of stuff.  Notice that as he switches things up rather than just throwing on an armbar and going with that over and over.

Naturally as I say that, there’s the armbar.  Young fires back, naturally using the bad arm because he’s not that intelligent.  Young gets going a bit and gets O’Brian into a fireman’s carry and drops O’Brian down onto his knees in a gutbuster which I think I’ve seen Roderick Strong use before to end it at 3:00.

Rating: C. Just a match here with O’Brian using the most basic level of psychology that you can use while still calling it psychology.  This is about as formula based as you can get and while it was boring, it wasn’t bad from a technical standpoint.  This is what you’re going to get on NXT I guess though so that’s to be expected.

Keg carry later.

The Raw ReBound is an actual recap, this time being the ending with the somewhat too long beatdown by Miz on Cena.  We also get clips of the match and MizRock coming out which had me fooled for a bit actually.

After a break, Maryse is on the phone with someone and Tatsu comes up.  He tells her that she’s better than Striker but Cannon breaks it up.  This is going to be the romance of the season isn’t it?  He apologizes for being a jerk and she leaves.  Lucky says that Tatsu won’t ever get her because he’s not lucky.  Tatsu is a comedy character that is in the background most of the time and I’m far more interested in him than Cannon.

Profile on Novak which I get a good nap during.  The sounds I hear talk about him being more focused after having everything working for him last season.

Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon vs. Byron Saxton/Yoshi Tatsu

Well I like Tatsu and that music is as catchy so I can live with that.  Regal talks about an old fiancé having a robe like that but she had a leg shorter than the other so he was embarrassed to walk down the aisle with her.  Tatsu has a black armband on due to the earthquake/tsunami.  It’s pro vs. pro to start and we get some genuine heel cheating to give them the early advantage.  Nice to see things like that.

Solid Yoshi chant as Cannon has issues with a side salto.  I prefer Luigi but that’s just me.  Off to a body scissors now as the fans are far more into this than the previous night.  Dang it Kidd quit moving around on the apron.  Your hair was giving me perfect reception on my TV.  Tatsu runs over Cannon after being in that hold for awhile and we get the double tag.

Off to Saxton and Kidd.  Saxton works better as a face (kind of) and Cannon a bit better as a heel.  Kidd gets a kick to the head but Cannon tags himself in.  He hits Saxton with a reverse FU (same position but he slams Saxton back the way he came.  Sean O’Haire used this back in 2003 and called it the Widowmaker) to end it at 4:10.

Rating: C+. Call me crazy but this wasn’t a terrible tag match.  Cannon and Kidd were doing the most bare bones of heel work but for some reason it worked for me.  Their cheating made them the clear heels and the other guys were the faces.  That’s exactly the point and while it was short, that’s all you need to do at times.  I can live with this actually.

The Raw stuff this week is the whole Trish/Vickie/Laycool/Snooki/Ziggler/Morrison thing from last night.  I’ll spare you a bunch of complaining here.

Time for the keg carry which is a St. Patrick’s Day version this time.  Before we start though we get a video of Titus trying back in Season 2 where he fell on his face, complete with cartoon music.  Novak goes first and gets a time of 9.9.  He FLEW around the ring with those long legs.

Young is second and gets 9.8.  He’s FAR more credible with the normal looking hair.

O’Brian is third and gets 9.4.  Hokey smoke he didn’t seem to be going that fast.

Saxton is up next with Yoshi playing cheerleader.  9.5 puts him in second place.

Cannon is the next to last and Maryse has started calling him Fabio.  Instead of running, he recites a poem in what sounds like French.  Yep and it’s for Maryse.  She wants to know if she can go throw up.  I like her better as a face too.  Did everyone just get assigned the wrong character?  He touches her hair and gets slapped for his troubles.  I think he liked it.

Titus is last, complete with Horny barking.  He wins it with a time of 9.1.  Ever notice how every week someone gets to dominate?  That’s Titus this week.

Overall Rating: C. This was way better than last week but that’s not saying much when you think about it.  Still an uninteresting show with a bad cast, but sadly enough I’ll wind up getting hooked on it again.  They have this down to a formula like no other so they’re not going to change from that.  Not a terrible show but nothing we haven’t seen with the same people already.

Results

Titus O’Neil won the Talk the Talk Challenge

Darren Young b. Conor O’Brian – Double Knee Gutbuster

Tyson Kidd/Lucky Cannon b. Yoshi Tatsu/Byron Saxton – Release fireman’s carry slam

Titus O’Neil won the Keg Carry Challenge

NXT
Date: March 8, 2011
Location: Toyota Center, Houston, Texas
Commentators: Todd Grisham, William Regal

This is the debut of Season Five of NXT.  There has been no cast or Pros or anything like that announced yet.  All we know is that Maryse is going to be the host which was revealed/announced earlier today.  The rumor for this season was that it would be Legends with their children for this season which could be good for the older fans.  If that’s not the case I’ll edit this out.  Let’s get to it.

As the show opens you see the word “Redemption” everywhere.  Oh I have a bad feeling about this.

William Regal is now a commentator.

Striker and Maryse are now the hosts.  She introduces the Rookies.

Darren Young.  Oh dang it I was afraid of this.

Conor O’Brian

Lucky Cannon (with a big feathery robe)

Byron Saxton

Jacob Novak

Titus O’Neal

That’s it.  I have to watch these guys AGAIN?  The winner of this gets to be on NXT Season 6.  What the heck?  There’s no immunity but rather redemption points which make no sense but sounds like exactly the same thing.  Here are the Pros.

Darren Young gets Chavo Guerrero.  Chavo says Darren is good in the ring but he needs to be more aggressive.  Guerrero wants Young to get noticed.

O’Brian gets Vladimir Kozlov.  This isn’t going to go well.  He says some stuff no one can understand.

Lucky Cannon has Tyson Kidd.  What the heck are they thinking here?  Has Kidd actually won a match in the last two months?  Cannon, who is the reigning FCW Champion and a heel now, needs to be meaner.

Saxton gets Yoshi freaking Tatsu, who is in a suit.  Grisham points out the international flavor of this season.  Tatsu says Saxton needs to relax.

Novak the Worthless gets JTG.  Oh I give up.

Titus O’Neil gets Hornswoggle.  I didn’t listen to his promo/speech as I was writing up my resignation.

Novak vs. Young is up next.

Darren Young vs. Jacob Novak

Young has a haircut at least now.  They head to the floor which might have been an accident.  We hit the ropes a few times and Young gets a forearm to take him down.   Regal is a natural on commentary.  Novak with a clothesline in the corner for two so we hit the chinlock.  Young fights back which gets him nowhere for the most part as Novak hits yet another clothesline to take over.  Young hits that spinning full nelson slam to end this at 3:30.

Rating: D+. This was dull again.  Neither of these guys has anything that makes me want to watch them and I feel like I’m watching some weak indy match.  Novak continues to redefine what it means to be worthless.  Young is decent enough but again he’s not someone I would ever stop to watch.

Yoshi talks to Maryse in the back, saying she’ll be a great host.  He has something to tell her but Saxton comes up and says he’d love to talk strategy with his Pro.  She leaves and Tatsu says Saxton’s timing is no good.

Raw ReBound, which recaps the previous week’s show as Rock pretends to be a rapper.  Now we get part of Cena’s “Knockout” last night which was nowhere near his one from two weeks ago.  I still like Cena’s stuff better than Rock’s in this feud.  The aspect about Rock being in the arena once is really all the ammo Cena needs.  We also get Miz’s run in to end the show which was better than anything else in the last segment.  Thankfully this is actually a recap and not just reairing the whole thing.

Conor O’Brian talks about hiding behind a persona last season.  He talks about being poor growing up.  Why does it seem that every wrestler went through torture growing up?

There’s a Boot Camp Obstacle Course up next.

More on the Chaperone.  If I ever want to end myself it’ll be with a marathon of Legendary, Knucklehead and Chaperone.

Snooki is coming to Raw.  Dang it all.  WWE you continue to tick me off.

We do a Boot Camp Obstacle Course and first off my jaw drops at Maryse in camouflage.  I’m not a fan of her but good freaking grief she looks great here.

Titus goes first.  The course is jumping a wall, going under a net on the ground kind of thing, a balance beam, weaving through some polls and picking up a bag to carry across the finish line.  Titus gets 29.8.

Novak shatters it with 24 seconds.  There’s nothing to say here for the most part.

Saxton gets a time of 26.5.

Lucky Cannon in the pink tights, stops to say he won’t be a circus monkey this season because it’s all about him.

Conor is 5^th and gets a time of 27.1.  He stumbled at the beginning which hurt him a lot.

Young goes last and is FLYING.  He wins it with a time of 23 seconds, good for 3 Redemption Points which I’m not sure I understand.  Granted that might be because I thought they were different than Immunity Points.

We reair the majority of the Cole/JBL/Austin thing because these guys can’t have matches right?  Cole on commentary here is still absolutely awesome.  This eats up 8 minutes.

HHH will be on Smackdown.  Also Christian vs. Alberto.

Saxton says he’ll take less for granted because it’s his last chance.

Lucky Cannon vs. Titus O’Neil

After about a minute of jokes about the robe we’re ready to go.  Titus hammers him away in the corner but gets sent outside for his efforts.  And there goes the feed.  Hey tonight isn’t a total loss!  Ah there it is and Cannon has a chinlock.  Regal says Finlay is the best ever from his part of the world.  Cannon is a total heel here but the name is going to hold him back.  Titus gets a belly to back to escape from a headlock.  Titus uses his power but gets taken down.  Horny distracts Tyson and assists Titus to hit a Sky High (D’Lo’s old finisher) powerbomb to end this at 2:57.  Too short to grade but nothing of note.  This ends the show.

Overall Rating: C-. This was just like any other episode of this show, as in nothing special at all.  I have more or less zero desire to watch this season as the biggest named pro is Chavo, the best guy in the group is I guess Young, there’s the stupid Redemption thing and this is to get on the next season of NXT rather than an actual prize, meaning someone will be on three seasons of the show by the end of next season.  It’s going to be a long Spring.

Results

Darren Young b. Jacob Novak – Release Full Nelson Slam

Darren Young won the Boot Camp Obstacle Course

Titus O’Neil b. Lucky Cannon – Sitout Powerbomb

NXT
Date: March 1, 2011
Location: Quicken Loans Arena, Cleveland, Ohio
Commentators: Josh Matthews, Todd Grisham

This is the finale of Season 4 and I can’t say I’m complaining.  The two finalists are the monster Brodus Clay and the guy that makes having a bowl of vanilla ice cream while comparing the speed of paint drying against the speed grass grows sound like the time of your life, Johnny Curtis.  I have a bad feeling they’ll give it to Curtis as I’ve thought that’s what was coming since the season premiere.  Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the entire season so far.  My goodness O’Brian and Novak were worthless.

In the arena, Striker introduces the pros and then the rookies.  WE WANT BATEMAN chant.  But Vince and company doesn’t and they know what the fans want right?  Curtis says he should win because it’s personal and has been a fight between these two since the beginning.  He’s fought all his life and is going to kick Brodus’ teeth in.  Truth had to tell the crowd to be quiet so Curtis could talk.  They were chanting for Bateman.  Clay says Curtis stood up the entire season and they would be friends otherwise.  Brodus makes it clear that he’s the heel by making anti-Cleveland statements and talks about leaving like LeBron: a winner.  That sets up this.

Brodus Clay vs. Johnny Curtis

Clay sends him to the floor to start.  Back in and Curtis tries to stick and move.  He escapes the Tongan Death Grip but is taken down off the middle rope as we take a break.  There’s a new DVD coming out called the True Story of Wrestlemania with a bunch of behind the scenes stuff.  That could be very entertaining from a variety of perspectives.  Back with Clay holding Curtis in a nerve hold.

The idea here is that Clay is just doing basic stuff and letting Curtis make mistakes.  Suplex gets two and we go back to the nerve hold.  Clay goes after Truth but misses a corner splash.  DDT puts Clay down for a bit but the power of fat compels Curtis to get armdragged/wrist dragged off the top and the splash ends it at 5:30.

Rating: C. Well the right guy won at least.  I was hoping they weren’t going to pull the stupid surprise switch at the end by having Curtis get dominated the whole time and getting the fluke win.  This wasn’t bad but we’ve seen these two fight all season and no one cares anymore I don’t think.

Truth defends Curtis post match which means nothing.

Bryan and Bateman are in the back.  Bateman has a tag match later in an NXT reunion or something.  Bryan fulfills his promise by punching him in the face (read as he has his fist up and pushes it out which knocks Bateman down) for being eliminated.  Bryan says win this for chicks, for America and for Cleveland.  Funny stuff as usual, but since he can’t uh…..uh……just be there with Truth I guess, he’s been eliminated.

And yes I make fun of Curtis a lot but they did this last season with Kaitlyn by just deciding she was going to win and they’re doing it again here while Bateman and AJ respectively were clearly more popular but the company decided otherwise.  It’s rather annoying and when you have to see it coming all season it’s even more annoying.

I was killing time because it was a commercial and now we reair the Rock promo from last night.  It was very intense but at the same time he didn’t convince me of a thing.  I still side with Cena in this almost entirely.  I get that Rock vs. Cena is far more important and entertaining than NXT, but when the show is 50 minutes long including commercials and 20% of that is dedicated to something from last night, why should I believe that the show I’m watching is important?  They do it on Smackdown too which makes it even more questionable.

Conor O’Brian/Derrick Bateman vs. Jacob Novak/Bryon Saxton

Oh please make it short.  Bateman is the hometown boy so he’s the most popular of course.  It helps that he’s arguably the only talented one in there.  O’Brian and Novak start us off and the fans chant for Bateman.  Off to Saxton and we’re already having a boring match here maybe 90 seconds in.  The non-Bateman team tags in and out a lot while I guess we’re waiting for the hot tag to Bateman.

O’Brian is getting destroyed so there’s some value to this match already.  No mention of Season 5 so far if you were wondering.  Saxton stops the tag for a bit but can’t do it again.  Bateman comes in and cleans house on both heels (I think.  It’s hard to call O’Brian a face) but gets caught in that Downward Spiral Stunner that Ziggler uses by Saxton.  Novak walks out on the match and Bateman hits a bulldog/DDT hybrid to beat Saxton at 4:40.  Unique finisher if nothing else.

Rating: D+. Totally worthless match here as the whole thing was clearly just to have Bateman win it at the end.  Novak continues to perhaps be the most worthless wrestler this decade which is saying a lot.  Boring match but they needed to fill time since there was only one promo with meaning from last night.

We recap the main event of Raw to waste more time.  The camera deal was funny.

We reair the Shawn Michaels analysis or whatever you want to call that from last night to fill in even more time.  You couldn’t do like, Truth vs. Bryan or something to fill in 8 minutes?

Before we end the show, Josh says watch Smackdown to see Taker return.

Here’s a promo for Smackdown, saying Taker returns!  Why do I watch this show again?

There’s going to be a Season 5.  DANG IT!!!!  It’s going to be like nothing we’ve ever seen before but we get no more details than that.

Striker thanks the Pros as we’re finally at the ending.  Johnny Curtis wins.   I give up.  The winner is 3-7 and they made it clear this guy was going to win in the first episode, making the rest of this show COMPLETELY POINTLESS.  What in the world are they even airing this for anymore?  Total failure here as Clay dominated him in the ring and was pushed as a major guy all season, making the matches and competitions totally pointless.  I’m legit mad here and yet I’m totally not surprised at all.  Curtis says nothing of note and Clay hugs him.  Clay says he’ll take things from the fans now who took his dream away.

Overall Rating: F-. The matches sucked, the show wasn’t interesting and other than Orton vs. Nexus, I think they covered everything on Raw last night that mattered.  On top of that, the ending is as completely stupid a moment in WWE as I have ever seen which is saying A LOT.  I love WWE, but this is the first time I’ve ever considered not watching a show.  That says a lot but that’s how awful this was.  Pathetic and I’m legit mad about this.  Freaking nonsensed.

Results

Brodus Clay b. Johnny Curtis – Splash

Derrick Bateman/Conor O’Brian b. Jacob Novak/Byron Saxton – Bulldog DDT to Saxton

Johnny Curtis won Season 5 of NXT