Obviously we’re in Mexico now and we only have two people left. The Young suspension may be a blessing in disguise as it might give them an opening to round out this season after the thirty two weeks they’ve had so far. After last week there aren’t any major loose ends that need to be tied up so maybe there’s a means to an end now. Let’s get to it.

We start in the ring….WITH A CHALLENGE??? Striker has a rope and there are flags around the ring ropes (not the one Striker is holding). It’s a capture the flag challenge. There are only O’Neil and Bateman left. This is worth 15 points to really make sure we make the rest of the challenges before this worthless by comparison. They both have on weightlifting belts and there’s a rope attached on their backs. Whoever can get the most flags wins. And after about 15 seconds Bateman jumps Titus and leaves him laying. Titus wins and the main event tonight is Titus/Percy vs. Bateman and whoever Bateman picks.

Tyler Reks vs. Yoshi Tatsu

Hawkins is limping to the rings with Reks. Reks and Hawkins complain about the injury and Reks sounds nothing like his looks would make you expect. Reks overpowers him to start so Tatsu chops away. Yoshi snaps off a spinwheel kick to take over so Reks, being a modern WWE heel, hides. Reks takes over again and the fans don’t seem all that impressed by him.

An O’Connor Roll doesn’t work for Tatsu and Reks works on the back a bit. Tatsu responds by hitting a big kick to the head…and never mind as Reks beats him down all over again. Yoshi dodges a charge and Reks’ shoulder hits the post. That allows Tatsu to go up top for the spinwheel kick and the pin at 4:33.

Rating: C-. Not much of a match here but it was fine. This was very basic as they were keeping things simple, primarily due to there only being about 4 and a half minutes to work with. Tatsu’s new look hasn’t meant much of anything, but at least he’s not talking about an action figure anymore.

Post match Reks and Hawkins beat down Tatsu but the Usos make the save. I smell a 6 man.

AJ has a note in the back when Kaitlyn comes in. It’s from Horny and he says leaving is the best decision he ever made. Kaitlyn says it’s from Maxine. Kaitlyn, who looks a lot worse with light blonde hair, fights Maxine next.

Kaitlyn vs. Maxine

Both of them look good but Kaitlyn looks better with darker hair. She has great legs though. Maxine is in essence in a swimsuit. Here’s your Maxine fact: her aunt is a careless maiden from Guadalajara who is engaged to a one legged Elvis impersonator who does a great version of Blue Suede Shoes. The match is your usual basic stuff here that isn’t very good.

Maxine hooks something like a dragon sleeper but Kaitlyn falls into the ropes. The fans here do not care at all. All Maxine so far but I’d rather look at Kaitlyn in gold so I’m not paying attention to the match here. Kaitlyn takes over with her horrible looking offense. She hits a Bubba Bomb and then a full nelson with her legs to make Maxine tap (with her foot) out at 4:48.

Rating: D. It’s your usual bad Divas match and more proof that AJ was the best choice for the 3rd season winner. Kaitlyn looks great in tight gold shorts and other than that, she’s about as worthless as anyone else you’re going to find on the roster. Not much here overall and the girls just aren’t that good. Granted this is on NXT so it’s not like anyone is watching them.

Video on how insane Raw has been lately and how its been in chaos, even dating back to Punk winning the title at MITB. This eats up like five minutes.

Kidd turns down Bateman to be his partner. Maxine comes up to yell at him for not being here. She leaves and JTG comes up to agree to be his partner. Oh my.

Percy Watson/Titus O’Neil vs. JTG/Derrick Bateman

Bateman vs. Watson gets us going and Watson shows off a bit. We go to the mat with a headlock as Regal explains exactly where the arm is supposed to be for it to hurt the most. Leave it to an old villain to know that. There’s a double tag and JTG gets his head kicked off. That was a nice touch because I don’t like JTG. O’Neil has black and pink on for breast cancer awareness. That’s always cool.

The good guys double team JTG for awhile and rule the ring as we take a break. Back with Bateman hammering away on Watson which doesn’t work all that well for him. They head to the floor and Bateman hits a missile dropkick off the apron which gets two back in the ring. Off to JTG again who hammers away a bit more. A spinning neckbreaker gets two. Watson tries to fight back and the fans react to it.

This match has somehow been going on for ten minutes. It’s one of those matches where nothing has been going on at all but it’s been happening if that makes sense. Titus finally gets the hot tag that we know has been coming for awhile now. Bateman breaks up the pin but misses a top rope cross body. Clash of the Titus ends this at 10:41.

Rating: D+. The match was pretty boring but the problem with it is that it summarizes the main problem that these guys are having anymore: there is no reason at all for these matches to take place. If we’re just waiting around for the end of the show and the matches don’t really count towards records or standings or anything, what’s the point? I mean, how many times can O’Neil pin Bateman before it stops meaning anything? I think that’s the question they’re trying to answer.

Overall Rating: C-. Not a horrible show but at the same time it reiterates the same issue I just went into: this show is chasing its own tail. We’re no closer to finding a winner of this competition than we were two months ago and the only thing that has really changed is that Young is gone and that’s not even because of the show but rather him being Wellnessed. Young will be able to return in about two and a half weeks and he’ll probably be brought back and we’ll be right back where we were two weeks ago. Such is the life of NXT I guess.

Results
Yoshi Tatsu b. Tyler Reks – Top Rope Spinwheel Kick
Kaitlyn b. Maxine – Full Nelson Leglock
Titus O’Neil/Percy Watson b. JTG/Derrick Bateman – Clash of the Titus to Bateman

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The opening video sets up the title match tonight with Zayn wearing a mask and pinning Dallas a few weeks back.

Welcome Home.

Tag Titles: Ascension vs. Adrian Neville/Corey Graves

Post match Graves yells at Neville for losing their shot before destroying him, turning heel in the process. It takes a little bit before the fans really get onto him but the YOU SUCK chant gets going after a bit.

Post break the announcers are stunned at what they just saw.

Tyler Breeze vs. CJ Parker

Breeze misses an elbow drop and gets rolled up for two, protecting his face in the process. Parker misses a dropkick and gets kicked in the face but Breeze has to go take a picture in the corner. Breeze pounds away and freaks out when CJ loads up a right hand to the face. Fans: “NOT IN THE FACE!” Breeze uses the distraction to poke Parker in the eye and hit a spinwheel kick for the pin at 3:25.

Regal praises Tyler for his tactics. Breeze goes to take a picture but Parker hits him in the face and steals the phone to take pictures of himself. Regal has the right idea: “CALL THE POLICE!”

Breast cancer is bad.

Paige/Emma vs. Sasha Banks/Summer Rae

NXT Title: Sami Zayn vs. Bo Dallas

A reverse DDT gets the same but Sami avoids a powerslam and spears Dallas down for two. Dallas blocks a climbing the turnbuckle armdrag and spears Sami down for two. The fans are losing their minds on the kickouts. Dallas puts Zayn on the top rope for a superplex but gets countered into a great looking sunset bomb for an even closer two. Sami rolls some German suplexes but Bo rips off the turnbuckle pad and sends Zayn face first into the steel to block the last German, allowing Bo to roll him up to retain at 14:26 shown of 17:16.

Overall Rating: A. My goodness NXT is amazing. This felt like their biggest show ever and it delivered in spades. We have angle advancement in the tag title match, a challenger for Paige, a fun match with Breeze and a great match with a false finish for the title. This is by far the highlight of my wrestling week and somehow it keeps getting better. Excellent show this week and great stuff all around.

Results

Ascension b. Adrian Neville/Corey Graves – Fall of Man to Neville

Tyler Breeze b. CJ Parker – Spinwheel Kick

Summer Rae/Sasha Banks b. Paige/Emma – Standing legdrop to Paige

Bo Dallas b. Sami Zayn – Rollup

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When Emma dances, she knows it’s silly but she’s a likeable character and the fans have fun with her.

When Vickie dances, the fans are laughing at her and she’s humiliated, usually making the segment uncomfortable for the fans to sit through.  Either that or it drags on way too long and gets stupid.

The idea is this: it’s ok to have a character who we laugh with instead of at once in awhile.  Not everything has to be all serious all the time.

Welcome Home.

Leo Kruger vs. Antonio Cesaro

We head back inside with Cesaro driving in knees to the ribs to take over, drawing a “Push Cesaro” chant. Kruger gets choked on the bottom rope but comes back with a quick suplex and some choking of his own. A Russian legsweep gets two for Leo but Antonio hits a quick running European uppercut in the corner for two of his own.

Cesaro puts him down with something like a Rock Bottom for two but gets crotched on the top rope. A superplex puts Cesaro down and we take a break. Back with Cesaro being knocked to the floor for a suicide dive from Kruger. They head inside again with Cesaro running away from the Slice clothesline and heading outside again. Cesaro sends him into the steps and drops him back first onto the apron in a bid for a countout. Kruger gets back up so Cesaro gives him a gutwrench suplex on the ramp.

Breast cancer sucks.

Charlotte vs. Santana Garrett

Bayley is with Charlotte here and Renee Young is on commentary again. Santana fights out of a wristlock to start but Charlotte uses her gymnastic stuff to take over again. A bad looking kick to the face gets two for Santana as Renee talks about an article on WWE.com with Charlotte complaining about being compared to her dad.

Mojo Rawley wants to motivate you.

Post break Summer and Emma challenge Paige and Emma to a tag match next week.

Danny Burch vs. Mojo Rawley

Scott Dawson/Alexander Rusev vs. Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore

Dawson and Rusev beat up Cassady post match.

Rob Van Dam vs. Aiden English

Results

Antonio Cesaro b. Leo Kruger – Neutralizer

Charlotte b. Santana Garrett – Running flip Diamond Cutter

Mojo Rawley b. Danny Burch – Earthquake Splash

Scott Dawson/Alexander Rusev b. Enzo Amore/Colin Cassady – Accolade to Amore

Rob Van Dam b. Aiden English – Five Star Frog Splash

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Fandango is here tonight for a mixed tag with Summer Rae against Emma and whomever she can find for a partner.

Welcome Home.

Fandango/Summer Rae vs. Emma/???

Kassius Ohno vs. Luke Harper

Tag Titles: Ascension vs. Corey Graves/Adrian Neville

Rating: C. This is exactly what this match should have been. Graves and Neville never felt like anything but transitional champions while Ascension has looked like the future of the tag division from the day the show debuted. This is the kind of match it needed to be: the champions fighting for all they were worth but just being out matched at the end of the day.

RVD is here next week.

Bo Dallas Invitational

Results

Santino Marella/Emma b. Fandango/Summer Rae – Cobra to Fandango

Luke Harper b. Kassius Ohno – Discus lariat

Ascension b. Adrian Neville/Corey Graves – Fall of Man to Graves

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Back in Bloomington this week as the show was taped. There’s a chance this is the final episode on Sci-Fi but that hasn’t been confirmed yet. On my digital preview there’s a sci-fi show on next week, but a week later, on the 12th, NXT is listed. It’s likely a misprint but interesting nonetheless. Let’s get to it.

We open by recapping musical chairs. It amuses me how they’ve just given up on this being a wrestling show at all and are just trying to make it as entertaining as possible. Talk the Talk is a bit better but it is kind of interesting to see WWE say how talking is very important and apparently more important than wrestling.

No Punk to start us out which makes me a sad reviewer.

Striker brings out the girls who mostly look good. Maxine still has the straight hair which looks really weird on her for some reason. Voting for the first elimination begins tomorrow on WWE.com which is where the results show will likely be seen. There’s a wheelbarrow in the aisle and they have to run around the ring with it, fastest time wins.

Maxine is first but before we start we need something in the wheelbarrow. And here’s Hornswoggle to make me roll my eyes. Cole asks what this has to do with being a Diva as Maxine sets the mark at 14.7 seconds. Horny bites her tights after she shoves him out of the wheelbarrow.

Naomi goes second and beats her time but they keep the clock running anyway for some reason as they have a tendency to do, putting her in second.

Jamie gets 14.4 to take the lead.

Kaitlyn is fourth and flies through this, getting 12 flat. Cole gets the line of the night as he yells at Josh: YOU’RE ANALYZING A WHEELBARROW RACE! He’s annoying but you can’t deny that he’s right.

AJ is the next to last girl and is rocking an I Love Nerds t-shirt. She’s nowhere close and Horny hugs her for a long time.

Aksana goes last and gets 13.9 to give Kaitlyn the win. What a great way to spend the first 13 minutes of a wrestling show.

This Week in WWE History is about Madison Square Garden and in particular the Raw where there was a triple interview with Dude Love, Cactus Jack and Mankind where Cactus returned and had a great falls count anywhere match with HHH. Oh and Austin gave Vince the first Stunner between the two. And now, back to the wheelbarrow racing show.

We profile AJ and how nerdy she is. We get a cool clip of her in line for tickets to Wrestlemania in MSG which I’m assuming was 20. That’s very cool that she is in a clip from footage like that as a kid for some reason.

Diss the Divas later tonight. Oh joy: more reading from scripts.

And now we recap Raw. I wonder how long they can go without actual wrestling on this show. Well that’s enough content so we need another commercial now.

Yep next week we’re on WWE.com. Not sure how that’ll effect the reviews but I’ll get it up somehow.

We profile Kaitlyn now who wants to be herself. And ANOTHER commercial. It’s 10:35 and there has not been a single piece of wrestling whatsoever. They’re coming back for 2 minutes of profiles etc and then a commercial.

Back from a break and we recap Smackdown with the Taker vs. Kane segment. When I say that, I mean they PLAY THE WHOLE THING. I don’t mean a highlight package, I don’t mean a synopsis, I mean Kane is talking about Undertaker and the druids are about to come out and Paul Bearer is about to return. If you’re curious as to what’s going on see my Smackdown review because I’m not talking about something I reviewed four days ago.

Time for Diss the Divas which is exactly what it sounds like. Aksana goes first and says she’s hot which she is. Her diss to the Divas is they don’t look as good as she does and she’s in better shape.

AJ goes second and is rather adorable. This is by far the highlight of the show which is hardly saying much. AJ says she belongs more here and she should be the winner because she’s not the typical Diva. This would come off better if Cole would SHUT UP. It’s one thing to get on the girls but it’s another thing to talk over them so we can’t even hear them.

Kaitlyn does an impression of Naomi by sticking her hips out. Naomi literally kicks it and that’s all for Kaitlyn.

Jamie says Aksana belongs in a circus and AJ is a ten year old but Jamie is awesome. Striker is more or less begging them to pick this up as it’s awful.

Naomi says this is about wrestling and entertainment and has them beat in those areas. Kaitlyn only won last week because Naomi messed up. Shame AJ won last week but whatever.

Maxine says the same thing she’s said every week as AJ and Kaitlyn conspire and play patty cake in the background.

AJ wins the competition over Naomi but just slightly, giving her the most victories and immunity.

And here’s Vickie to make sure we get her face time this week since this is the Vickie/Cole show. She bashes Kaitlyn who more or less turns face and wants Vickie in a match. Vickie accepts but gets a BIG OLD SLAP to Kaitlyn. That was Stephanie level slapping and somehow the highlight of the show. They “brawl” to end this joke of a show.

Overall Rating: F. This was an absolute joke. They can’t throw in a two minute match just to give us something? I don’t watch this show to see a segment I already watched. The show is moving to WWE.Com and I can’t imagine this show is going to make people want to watch it. I love the WWE but I never want to hear them complain about ratings again, not after this. Horrible show with no appealing value at all like this show usually has with its bad comedy. I feel sorry for the people that paid for tickets to it.

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Welcome Home.

Tag Team Turmoil

Regal says that Amore and Cassady have been banned from all Disney parks and Walt Disney is spinning in his fridge over it. Parker and Amore get things going with CJ busting out an airplane spin. CJ hits a pair of knees in the corner but stops to look at Breeze, allowing Cassady to come in for the spinning sitout Rock Bottom for the elimination at 1:20. Well that was quick.

Bayley vs. Sasha Banks

Aiden English sings about walking to the ring (“And all the while you get to hear me sing”) as the brilliance of such a simple idea continues.

Aiden English vs. Bull Dempsey

English grabs a quick headlock (“THE DAY IS MINE!”) and kicks Dempsey in the head for two. A legdrop sets up the Side Effect, which may be called Take a Bow, for the pin at 1:40.

The fans get the encore they demand.

Summer Rae challenges Emma to find a partner to meet herself and Fandango in a mixed tag.

El Local vs. Sami Zayn

Results

Ascension won tag team turmoil last eliminating Colin Cassady/Enzo Amore

Sasha Banks b. Bayley – Neckbreaker

Aiden English b. Bull Dempsey – Side Effect

Sami Zayn b. El Local – Running boot to the face

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Welcome Home.

Sami Zayn vs. Curt Hawkins

Hawkins takes him into the corner to start but hides in the ropes. Sami hooks a hammerlock and some armdrags before chopping away in the corner. Zayn drives in right hands in the corner and gets some near falls off rollups. We hit a chinlock on Hawkins but Curt takes over with a basic slam. An elbow drop and a knifeedge chop get two each and we hit a chinlock on Sami.

Aiden English vs. Michael Cuellari

English demands a spotlight and sings an encore.

HHH also has an announcement next week.

Tyler Breeze/Ascension/Leo Kruger vs. CJ Parker/Xavier Woods/Corey Graves/Adrian Neville

The winners all pose over Breeze to end the show.

Results

Sami Zayn b. Curt Hawkins – Tornado DDT

Aiden English b. Michael Cuellari – Corba clutch side slam

CJ Parker/Xavier Woods/Adrian Neville/Corey Graves b. Ascension/Tyler Breeze/Leo Kruger – Red Arrow to Breeze

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Welcome Home.

Bayley/Charlote vs. Alicia Fox/Aksana

Rick Victor vs. Corey Graves

Corey comes right back with right hands and a snap suplex for two. A cross body puts Rick down but it hurts the ribs again, giving Victor the opening he needed. They slug it out and Graves scores with a mule kick, only to be sent into the ropes hard enough to hurt the ribs again. We take a break and come back with Victor pounding Corey down in the corner. Every time I see Ascension pounding beating like that it puts me in mind of Demolition which is never a bad comparison to make.

Alexander Rusev vs. Mason Ryan

Alexander breaks another Mason board before the match. They lock up a few times to start with Ryan shoving him away both times, so Alexander kicks him in the face. Ryan gets in some right hands, only to have Alexander take him down with an impressive spinwheel kick. Some falling headbutts have Ryan in trouble and more headbutts to the chest get two for Rusev. Mason dodges a charge in the corner and comes back with right hands and a big boot but he has to deal with Scott Dawson and LeFort. The distraction allows Alexander to splash him in the corner and a camel clutch makes Mason tap out at 4:00.

Leo Kruger laughs a lot and looks down at Xavier Woods who is holding his neck.

Sami Zayn vs. Jack Swagger

Back in and a high cross body gets two on Swagger, as does a sunset flip. Swagger hits something like a running spinebuster to put Sami down again but Zayn escapes an Oklahoma stampede and gets two more off a blue thunder bomb. Jack goes for the ankle but has to settle for the gutwrench powerbomb for two instead. Now the Patriot Lock goes on for a good while but Sami makes it to the ropes for a YES chant.

Sami fights up AGAIN and sends Swagger into the corner for a jogging big boot. Zayn pounds him down before going up top where Swagger crotches him down, only to be caught in a sunset bomb for a VERY close two. The fans are losing their minds on these kickouts. This draws out Bo Dallas, whose distraction allows Swagger to put on the Patriot Lock for the submission at 13:14 shown of 15:44.

Results

Bayley/Charlotte b. Alicia Fox/Aksana – Rollup to Fox

Corey Graves b. Rick Victor – Small Package

Alexander Rusev b. Mason Ryan – Camel Clutch

Jack Swagger b. Sami Zayn – Patriot Lock

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