And everything else.

Overall Thoughts

I’m pleasantly surprised by the card so far. There’s a potentially great show in there, but again the run time is just going to kill it. Thankfully the ramp shouldn’t be quite so long this year, which could legitimately shave a good fifteen minutes off of the show. Some of the matches are classics waiting to happen and if that’s what we get in New Orleans, we’re just that lucky.

Then there’s the elephant in the room with John Cena vs. the Undertaker. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I don’t want to see this match. WWE had their chance to do this match several times (“Wrestlemania XXX”, Wrestlemania XXXI”, “Wrestlemania XXXIII” and probably more) but they chose to go other ways, like giving “Total Divas” a storyline instead. I don’t need to see Undertaker doing this again and it would be nice if he stayed retired.

The ONLY thing I could live with here is a brawl which sees neither coming out ahead. There doesn’t need to be a future match and there doesn’t need to be a match here. Just let it be over and done with while Cena does some stupid antics for part of the night, basically being the unofficial host for the show. But yeah, there’s going to be a match and Cena is likely winning. There’s no way around that and I have no idea why I’m supposed to get excited about ONE MORE FIGHT when there’s probably a three disc DVD set of Undertaker’s ONE MORE FIGHT ready to be made.

Overall, I’m excited, and that’s a nice feeling to have.

Blink and you should miss it.

Raw World Title: Brock Lesnar(c) vs. Roman Reigns

This should be five minutes long. Really that’s what I see when I look at this. With Lesnar leaving for the UFC all but guaranteed, it makes next to no sense to have him be competitive here. If you want Reigns to be THE GUY (THIS TIME FOR SURE!), the answer is to have him do what no one else could (well save for Goldberg in that still annoying run): beat Lesnar, but do it so fast that it’s all anyone remembers.

So yeah of course Reigns should win here. If nothing else he needs to as I can’t bear the idea of seeing him given this kind of a push for another year. Besides, once he wins the title, WWE can realize that he’s already beaten everyone around and there’s not much of a point in doing this whole thing in the first place. Lesnar isn’t going to care about working a short match so make Reigns look like the giant slayer in the short form rather than the long and do something interesting.

That leaves so many possibilities.

Raw Tag Team Titles: The Bar(c) vs. Braun Strowman/???

So who ya got? This is one of the biggest questions marks on the show as there are several ways you could go with the partner. You could have Alexa Bliss to play off their chemistry in “Mixed Match Challenge”, Curt Hawkins to pay off the losing streak, James Ellsworth for the funny cameo or Elias to bring back their recent one sided feud.

Since it’s WWE and they’re not the most subtle organization in the world, I’ll take Elias, who has done nothing in recent weeks (other than be awesome of course) but was involved with Strowman a few weeks back, to team with Strowman and win the titles. It doesn’t make a ton of sense but with Elias promising to be at “Wrestlemania” and not saying what he’s doing, they’re telegraphing it pretty hard. I’m not sure what sense this makes for Strowman, but putting him in this match in the first place didn’t either so why stop there?

It worked so well last time.

US Title: Randy Orton(c) vs. Bobby Roode vs. Rusev vs. Jinder Mahal

If there was ever a nacho break match, this is it. Rusev is the only interesting one of them in the first place and calling him interesting is a stretch as WWE barely allows him to do anything. That being said, I can’t imagine them giving him the title because he’s from Bulgaria and there aren’t nearly enough potential WWE Network subscribers there. It’s not like he’s crazy popular in the United States and could sell you merchandise and draw ratings to make up the difference. That’s just lunacy.

Alas, I think I’ll take Mahal to win. WWE LOVES pushing this guy for various annoying reasons and while it seems like the perfect time to have Rusev (the smart pick) or Orton (the safe pick) win, I’ll take them to go with the dumbest idea they have and give it to Mahal. After all: the 1.3 billion people weren’t interested in him as WWE Champion, but as UNITED STATES CHAMPION, it’s a totally different situation. As much as I’d love a fast RKO or for Rusev to CRUSH, it’s likely Mahal because WWE doesn’t like the fans that keep watching every week.

Snap, crackle or pop.

Kurt Angle/Ronda Rousey vs. HHH/Stephanie McMahon

Please don’t do it, please don’t do it, please don’t do it. PLEASE don’t let McMahon be competitive with Rousey here. You don’t have a chance like this ever day (or every few years even) and the last thing that WWE or Rousey needs is to have to sell for McMahon, no matter how great her trainer says she is or how AWESOME it is that she works out at night and has three kids and is a media queen who got where she is entirely by herself or whatever her latest campaign is between receiving all those totally awesome awards.

Again, I’m going to give WWE the benefit of the doubt and assume that they won’t manage to screw up what should be unscrewupable. Rousey can be beaten down for a bit (preferably by HHH) but this match needs to end with Rousey grabbing McMahon’s arm and snapping it like a twig. That’s what this story has been calling for and that’s where it needs to go. Angle vs. HHH is irrelevant. Just give us the Rousey that can be a big deal and go from there.

There must be someone.

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This is very similar to the Women’s Battle Royal as almost no one jumps out as a likely winner. However, this time around I’m expecting more surprise names to show up and potentially win the thing. That makes for some hard guessing though as you never know who might actually be in the match. You might get someone big but at the same time you might get someone like Mojo Rawley last year, which came out of the neighborhood across the road behind left field.

Based on the names we have at the moment though, Matt Hardy seems like the best option, but I could easily see him getting eliminated so Michael Cole can make a joke about how Hardy’s nonsense didn’t get him anywhere and he lost in the end anyway. That’s such a WWE thing to do and it wouldn’t shock me in the least. If it’s a surprise entrant, I’ll go with…..Samoa Joe, even if him returning on “Raw” would make more sense.

It’s like Summerslam 1993 all over again.

Smackdown World Title: AJ Styles(c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura

Now if the Bryan/McMahon match had the potential to be great or a mess, this one is even stronger. They’ve built this up as a dream match for several months now and really, I’m not sure how well it’s going to go. If they have the time to put in and tear the house down, everything is going to be fine and they’ll rock the place. If they don’t get the time though, it’s nowhere near what they’re capable of doing. The match could be great, but it’s all about the execution and which Nakamura shows up.

I’ll take Styles to retain though. This has been coming off as nearly a layup with Nakamura coming in, kicking Styles really hard and kneeing him in the face to win the title. The problem is that it seems too simple. It’s like they’re setting it up so perfectly that it doesn’t make sense to have Styles lose here. I have no idea who takes the title from Styles down the road, but I don’t think it’s Nakamura here. Just an instinct, so get ready for Nakamura’s dancing celebration.

….they couldn’t.  Right?

Daniel Bryan/Shane McMahon vs. Sami Zayn/Kevin Owens

This is one of the most dangerous things WWE is doing. Not with putting Bryan back in the ring, but possibly with having everything going off the rails in short order. There’s a real chance that McMahon turns on Bryan here, but I’m really not writing off the idea of Bryan turning. It would be the dumbest idea in the world, but that’s why I think WWE might actually pull the trigger.

I’ll go with some hope though and say Bryan and McMahon win clean to send Owens and Zayn to “Raw”. I’m not sure who would be the next boss on “Smackdown Live” as there’s no reason to have Bryan around, especially if McMahon is taking a leave of absence (which likely means he’s done) but Bryan and McMahon winning to end the story makes the most sense. A turn isn’t out of the question, but I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt this time.

This might be the match that interests me the most.

Cruiserweight Title: Cedric Alexander vs. Mustafa Ali

Actually, this might be the match that has grabbed my interest more than anything else. They’ve turned this match into something that I actually want to see and I never would have guessed that would be possible. Either guy could pull this off and it’s going to be fun to see which way they wind up going to crown a new champion.

Really though, I think they have to go with Alexander. He’s come up short too many times before to have him lose yet again. Let Alexander FINALLY get the title and move on from there. I don’t want Ali to turn heel, even if both guys have been teasing turning in recent weeks. There’s no need to turn either here though as you can wait for that for later. For now though, Alexander needs to win and we can move on from there.

This is a long term issue.

Smackdown Women’s Title: Charlotte(c) vs. Asuka

While the Raw Women’s Title match is built up as a definitive end for the Bliss vs. Jax feud, this one is more about the long term storytelling. Asuka’s undefeated streak is one of the best streaks of all time and now she’s likely going to win a main card title. However, the question then is who stops Asuka down the road. Is it Ronda Rousey down the line or Charlotte here?

But yeah, I’m not going with any kind of a surprise here as I’m taking Asuka winning the title here as Charlotte can get a rematch in a month or so. Asuka can defend a few times before setting up the real showdown with Rousey either at “Summerslam 2018” or “Wrestlemania XXXV” but she wins here. Charlotte will be fine and a heel turn with her chasing the title could be interesting as well.