Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns

And then there’s this.

 

This is one of those matches where there are so many different ways it could go that it makes me want to see it. I’m not entirely sure that’s how they meant to get there, but it makes me want to see the main event more than I did otherwise. I’m not even sure where to start with this one.

So Reigns won the Rumble after everyone knew he would for like a year, then beat Bryan to defend his title shot at Fast Lane. Much like HHH vs. Sting, it all started coming off the rails after that because they had no idea where to go with it after that. They’ve tried things like Roman wanting to be the monster that slays the bigger monster or Reigns living up to his family’s history of being all dominant and such, but it seems like they really don’t know where they’re going.

That of course leaves the problem of people not caring about Roman Reigns. They’ve done a horrible job at making him a guy that we’re going to connect with because he doesn’t have much of a personality. Look back at the two stories they’ve tried. Not many people are going to be able to connect with the idea of being a Superman who can beat up anyone in the world and is going off to fight the big dragon. At the same time, most of them can’t connect with the idea of being part of a legendary family with a huge reputation to live up to.

On the other hand, there’s a major risk of having Reigns booed out of the stadium because Brock Lesnar is the easiest guy in the world to cheer for because fans like seeing Brock destroy people like Godzilla crushing buildings in the abandoned warehouse district of Tokyo. He’s a guy people are ready to cheer for (because they can forgive the Streak being broken that quickly) but instead we’re supposed to cheer for Reigns because of…..hey isn’t that Reverend Slick over there?

They just haven’t done a good job of setting this match up because there’s no reason to want to see the showdown. Reigns is pretty much the same guy he was a year ago but now he has the stupid promos on his resume. He’s been SO much better when he’s the Batista type who lets his fighting do the talking and spears people in half after punching them in the face. But instead, for some reason WWE decides that he needs to be a guy with a personality because that’s how WWE thinks people are supposed to be.

You know who works as a powerhouse who doesn’t say much and shows off with his physical abilities? Brock Lesnar. He’s actually a really good standard for someone who doesn’t need to do much talking and can be a huge success by just letting his power and dominance do all the talking he needs. Let Reigns be something like a Batista instead of trying to make him the new John Cena.

I don’t even see why Reigns needs to win the title at Wrestlemania. Why does Reigns, age 29, NEED to get his first World Title here? Most wrestlers don’t win their first title at Wrestlemania and they wind up being fine. Let him win it somewhere else first and then come back and get his really big win later on? Why have him win here and throw him out in deep water? It’s like asking him to win a gold medal in the Olympics and not even giving him a broken freaking neck. It doesn’t work that way.

All these issues aside, it seems very obvious that it’s going to be Reigns taking the title from Lesnar because the story seems to be that Cena couldn’t do it so let’s get someone even bigger and stronger to take the title from Lesnar. That’s a pretty lame story to tell because it’s just going and getting the next guy up instead of finding someone we might be interested in seeing.

Then Lesnar re-signed and everything changed.

That signing turned this match on its head and made it a completely different story. The idea was that Lesnar was going to lose the title because he might have been on his way out of the promotion to MMA so Reigns had to be the guy to take it from him. However, now that he’s staying and there’s a chance Bryan and Cena will be winning the midcard titles to headline the house shows, why not leave the belt on Brock?

There are a million ways to go with Lesnar if he sticks around as champion, including turning him face. Like, for instance, Reigns sees that he can’t win the title on his own and needs some help. Maybe two guys in black? One of whom says Reigns is his brother? Or you have him fight the Authority and finally clear them out. There are a million options.

Then there’s one more option: the cash-in. I’ll keep this short: if Lesnar retains, I think there’s a cash-in tomorrow on Raw. Otherwise, nothing.

So for the official prediction, I’ll take Lesnar retaining because he’s sticking around. At the end of the day, I think WWE is going to throw the brakes on at the last minute and let Reigns lose here to build him up again for later. I know Vince wants to pull the trigger on him, but hopefully HHH can talk him out of the itchy trigger finger for now. No cash-in at Wrestlemania if Lesnar retains.

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Sting vs. HHH

Let’s get something out of the way first.

For some reason there are people thinking this is going to close out the show. I know Sting is a big deal and I’m looking forward to seeing one of my all time favorites finally getting inside a WWE ring, but don’t kid yourself: this match isn’t closing the show and there’s no logical reason that it should.

This is another match where they really needed to pick a story and stick with it a long time ago but for some reason they can’t decide what to go with. At first it was being presented as WCW vs. WWE in one final round of the Monday Night Wars. I thought that was really stupid but was ready to go with it, even though they’re ignoring the totally logical story (we’ll come back to that in a minute).

But anyway, they seemed to be going with the WCW vs. WWE story, but then Sting said the most logical thing I’ve heard all year: “Of course I’m not fighting for WCW. That would be pretty ridiculous fourteen years after it closed.” Makes perfect sense, so of course Stephanie came out, cut off Sting’s balls, turned it right back into WWE vs. WCW and didn’t let Sting get in any rebuttal because this company is all about making sure Stephanie never looks bad.

See, this is where the story goes off the rails because they had the perfect story when Sting made his debut. After all the months of the Authority using their power to abuse and intimidate everyone, Sting shows up as the Dark Knight: the one man with the power and stature to be immune to the Authority and the only man willing to stand against them because, simply put, THAT’S WHAT STING DOES. He did it in WCW against the NWO and he did it in TNA against their 184 different heel factions. Sting is the guy that stands up to the corrupt bosses and fights the good fight.

But for some reason that’s not what we’re getting. Well, at least not the full on version of it. Instead they’re building it up as a dream match, which you could go with if you’ve run out of other dreams to have I guess. I’ll give them this though: the image of HHH pulling out the hammer but Sting countering with the ball bat is the most naturally perfect image this feud could have had and they nailed it as well as they could have.

Now the match itself is a completely different story. We’ve seen that HHH can still go in the ring with anyone and give a good to very good performance. I have no doubt he’ll be ready to go for Wrestlemania. On the other hand, I haven’t seen Sting look good in a match in a very, very long time. The guy is just getting up there in years and can barely sit back on the Scorpion anymore. However, this is Wrestlemania and I think Sting has one more decent to good match in him.

The question now is who wins. My instinct and every bit of wrestling logic I have says Sting goes over. Why in the world would you bring Sting in and have him lose his WWE debut match? That being said, this is WWE in 2015 where logic and common sense is thrown out the window for the sake of “well why don’t we do this?” and ignoring the response of “because it’s really stupid.” HHH doesn’t need to win another match as long as he lives though, so I’ll go with Sting since HHH does seem to have mellowed a bit in recent years as his last win was at Wrestlemania XXIX. The one before that? TLC 2011.

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Intercontinental Title

Reach for the sky.

I’m not a fan of these matches. They take away the entire idea of having a wrestling match and throw everything together into one big mess for the title. Yeah it’s going to be a lot of fun and has the potential to steal the show, but I really would have preferred a straight match or even a multiman match to this big mess.

Second complaint: I know I’ve ranted on this already, but I really didn’t like having the title being passed around. What was that supposed to accomplish? It’s better than having the champion lose every week, but why am I supposed to care that someone keeps taking the belt itself away? As Barrett kept saying, that’s his title and he shouldn’t have to keep taking it back from people. It’s like when Hogan thought he had won the Tag Team Titles at Wrestlemania IX when Jimmy Hart counted the pin: he REALLY should know better than that.

Just like in the Tag Team Title match, let’s take an individual look at each guy before I get to my pick.

Stardust – Why is he in this? He lost last month and now he’s in a big time title match because the belt is his precious? This is a name you could have easily left out of things and no one would have noticed a difference. If nothing else just cut his spot and let the match have fewer people in it so things can breathe a bit more.

R-Truth – He’s here for the comedy and nothing more. No one buys him as having a chance at winning the belt and I can’t really see why he needed to be in here. He’s the guy you throw out there to give the champion a fluke loss (which happens WAY too often) and not someone you put in a title match at Wrestlemania.

Luke Harper – Former champion, had a great ladder match with Dolph Ziggler and deserves a push where he DOESN’T LOSE EVERY MATCH AS CHAMPION. I don’t see him as having much of a chance, but you always need someone in there as a power guy to throw the small guys around and make them look good.

Dean Ambrose – He’s finally finding a niche for himself in the midcard and is the one that started this whole thing in the first place. I really liked what he said when he talked about wanting to be the Intercontinental Champion because it meant something back in the day. Then he started walking off with the belt like it was a ball on the playground because that’s how you make a title legitimate right? I’d love to see Dean win and become the midcard star, but given his track record, he probably gets lost coming to ringside and winds up fighting Torito or something.

Daniel Bryan – Boy what a difference a year makes doesn’t it? It really is amazing what a simple broken neck (or whatever it was) can do to mess up your career. Bryan would be the most logical pick to win here but for some reason I don’t see him doing it. For one thing, he’s a bit too popular to give a win in back to back years because the WWE knows who we should be cheering for. Side note about Bryan: this is the fifth different title he’s fought for in five Wrestlemanias.

Wrestlemania XXVII: US Title

Wrestlemania XXVIII: World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania XXIX: Tag Team Titles

Wrestlemania XXX: WWE World Heavyweight Title

Wrestlemania XXXI: Intercontinental Title

He might be the only guy to ever do that.

Dolph Ziggler – You have to have a guy like Ziggler in a match like this and there’s nothing wrong with being that guy. He’ll have some big spots, get close to winning the title, get the second biggest reaction of the match and come up just a bit short, because WWE is totally cool with having him get nowhere after making him the star of the Survivor Series main event.

Bad News Barrett – My goodness what is their problem with this guy? It seems like every time he gets the title he goes on the biggest losing streak ever but gets to hold his head high and win the big match at the end, meaning we’re supposed to forget about all those losses. That would be fine in theory if Cole wasn’t reminding us of the losses every 18 seconds, but that’s too much logic for them to follow.

Overall though, I don’t think Barrett gets the big win this time. It’s probably what we’re getting from the whole thing, but I’m going on a limb and picking Ambrose. He’s over with the fans, could be made into a main event guy one day and started this whole thing. WWE owes him a big win anyway after all the stupid endings with the Rollins and Wyatt matches. They’ll probably go with Barrett to make me want to drive my head through a wall, but I want to see Ambrose take it.

Oh and Sheamus could be added as the eighth guy. If he does, I’ll go with him again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Undertaker vs. Bray Wyatt

Strike up the gong.

Can someone explain to me why I’m supposed to care about Undertaker at Wrestlemania? Yeah he had the greatest Streak of all time and no one is ever going to come within ten wins of it, but it’s done. Unless this is to set up his retirement match next year, there really isn’t much of a point to watching him. Let the Streak be done and get out before you embarrass yourself.

That being said, I’m really torn on who wins here. At the end of the day, Undertaker winning is the feel good moment that people want, but a win over him still mean a lot for someone like Wyatt. Bray should have gotten his big win last year and it would do a lot of harm to him to have him lose his first two major Wrestlemania appearances. Now I’m not saying his career is over if he loses (the idea that your career is done if you lose one of the bigger matches at Wrestlemania makes no sense. If you lose a low level match on Superstars, then start worrying), but he needs to get a big signature victory.

The match has the potential to be good, but I’m relying on Bray to do almost all of the heavy lifting out there. Undertaker showed last year that things can go downhill fast for him, but it certainly should be noted that he had a concussion and wasn’t really in the match for the majority of the time against Lesnar. Wyatt isn’t the best in the ring, but when he can get rolling against someone, he can have one heck of a match (see anything he’s done with Bryan).

The build to this match has been kind of a mess but Bray has managed to hold it together just fine. The promo he had on Raw brought me back to the time when he was one of the best mic workers in the company, as he nailed the presences they were going for and made him feel like a monster again. Having him want to be the new scary monster to replace the Undertaker is a great idea, but it’s something they need to actually follow through on.

This is the match where I could easily see it going either way, but I’d like to see Bray win. The magic is gone from Undertaker at this point and he’s now just another veteran holding on. It’s still going to be special to see him coming down the aisle at Wrestlemania (and we’ll really be able to see him since the show is outside in California) but the special feeling is going to be gone.

I think I’m going with Bray here, but the question is where does Undertaker go after this. The logical move would seem to be having him say he’s lost twice in a row after never losing before so the next time is his last match. However, you could do the same thing if he beats Bray and say he wants to go out after one more match. It’s a really interesting case where either one can get you to the same ending, but Bray needs to win something to help establish him as a top guy. If nothing else, I want Bray to win so I don’t have to punch the announcers for saying “COULD THIS BE THE START OF A NEW STREAK???”

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Bella Twins vs. AJ Lee/Paige

I’ve done too many Give Divas A Chance lines already.

 

This is another one that I’ve been going back and forth on every week. Let’s get the first major issue out of the way first: this should be for the Divas Title. Make it a fourway, make it a tag match for the title (it’s been done before) or just make it a singles match with one of them challenging Nikki, but don’t set up a meaningless tag match with a series of title matches. It doesn’t make sense but this is what we’re getting.

Now I’m not one to admit this, but the story hasn’t been that bad. The promo on Smackdown this past week was the selling point for me, as the girls started arguing more and more but actually said some stuff instead of just lame insults. You have the non-sisters talking about being proud of not being spoiled reality “stars” and failed D-list celebrities while the Bellas say they’ve been running this place while AJ is off TV all the time.

See, THAT is a story. Instead of just having them fight over some fake, lame story off Total Divas (the real prize of the Divas these days), they’re arguing about stuff that only these girls can talk about. It’s getting down to the idea of entertainment vs. the wrestling which is always something you can go to for a major story. This is something interesting for a change, but the question is where do they go with it from here.

The big line lately has been “Give Divas A Chance.” That’s fine, but at the end of the day, you have to actually DO something instead of just talking about it. I know it’s become a theory that the Bellas are getting better in the ring, but the reality is they’re getting more competent. If you watch them, it’s clear that they’re having to go step for step to get through a match and they would be lost if they had to improvise anything. Now to be fair, that puts them at the higher end of the division, but they’re WAY behind the classically trained wrestlers.

AJ and Paige on the other hand…..I’m kind of over them. They’re talented and look good in the ring, but we’ve just seen them fight for the better part of a year and it’s hard to care about seeing them again. It doesn’t help that you have the Divas in NXT ready to come up to the main roster and probably wrestle circles around a lot of the main roster Divas, but they’re not going anywhere because we need crazy people like Eva Marie (what does she actually do for WWE anyway?) and Cameron who have the loud personalities that get ratings on reality shows.

As for the match, the theory would be they set up the next challenger for Nikki’s title, but an instinct tells me that’s not where they’re going. What I’d like to see is Nikki get the pin and the FINALLY have her showdown with Brie that we should have gotten five months ago before Charlotte shows up and takes the Divas Title. Yeah she’s not on Total Divas, but it’s been far too long since we’ve given Flair some kind of praise right? Anyway, Nikki pins let’s say AJ after AJ and Paige have issues. As usual though, if the match doesn’t get any time, there’s no chance this goes anywhere. It doesn’t need to be a marathon, but give then ten minutes.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

Let the rematches begin.

This is one that should be the biggest layup of the night and the more I think about it the more sure I am about it. We saw this already last month with Rusev making Cena pass out in the Accolade (I still don’t like that name) to retain after Lana interfered. That was the match that did little more than give Rusev the big win (and give Fast Lane another match that people actually cared about to try to validate its existence as a pay per view) before coming here.

There’s really no reason for Rusev to win here. He’s held the title since November, has had a good reign, got his big win over Cena, and has gotten the one up on him other than that time where they set up the match. This is the kind of match that Cena is supposed to win as he finally stands up for America against the EVIL Communist Russian villain. It’s a story they’ve been telling for years and amazingly enough, it still works just fine.

I’ve enjoyed the build to this roughly 18,000% more than I enjoyed the Fast Lane build, as the story of Cena being too old to do this anymore had me rolling my eyes and laughing instead of listening to what Rusev was saying. Cena is more than capable of taking this, but it also brings up an interesting transition that he’s been making.

I’ve written in more detail about this before, but when you look at it, Cena has really started taking a step back from the main event in recent years. Yeah he was World Champion last summer, but it’s pretty clear that they threw the belt on him because Bryan went out with an injury and who else are you going to put it on for a placeholder champion when the guy you want on top is out?

Last year Cena fought in a midcard feud with Wyatt and this year he’s fighting in a midcard feud with Rusev. It’s interesting to see one of the true legends start to step away from the main event, even though he’s more than capable of main eventing a show if you need him to at any time. Cena is a great thing to have in your back pocket, but it’s also cool to see him acknowledge that he’s still the top man around here (which he is).

In case it wasn’t clear, I’m going with Cena. There’s just no logical reason to have Rusev keep the belt here other than shock value, as the entire story has been built around having Cena STAND UP FOR AMERICA and win the title back here. It would also be nice to have the US Title mean something, and having Cena going after it is the best way to possibly do something like that.

One final note: if Lana misses this show because she’s on the set of some movie that no one, I repeat NO ONE, is going to care about, I’ve lost a lot of faith in this company. Let her be out there and soak up all the hatred from the fans because that’s what makes Rusev that much more hateable. Get your priorities in line WWE, because the movies aren’t as important as you think they are.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins

A classic case of overthinking it.

Oh man I’m torn on this one. On one hand, this could be the one that completely steals the show and makes Rollins into an even bigger star than he was before. On the other hand, GOOD FREAKING GRIEF HOW DID THEY MANAGE TO SCREW THIS MATCH UP SO BADLY??? I’ve been in awe over the horrible botching they’ve done with the build to this match because it really should have been the easiest thing in the world.

Think back to Fast Lane where Orton returned and cleaned house on the Authority but Rollins escaped. That right there was all they needed to do, but since this is modern WWE, they managed to completely overthink it and ruin the whole thing. Instead of Orton, who has been built up as a guy that can snap at a moment’s notice for years, going into Apex Predator mode and hunting his way through the Authority to get his hands on Rollins, he joined them after beating them up to get his hands on Rollins instead.

A few weeks back Orton tried to explain the whole thing and it just didn’t make sense. It came off like damage control, which really shouldn’t be needed for a match like this. Like I said, this should have been Orton coming back, saying Rollins tried to end his career and trying to end Rollins’ career (or take his briefcase) as payback. But that would have meant Stephanie didn’t get to add Orton’s balls to her collection so instead, this is what we got.

The match itself should be entertaining as both guys have a tendency to rise up like few others can when they’re given the chance on the big stages. Orton has almost always had sleeper matches in the midcard which surprised a lot of people (he dragged KANE to a good match a few years back. Even Cena had issues doing that) and Rollins is someone who can work well against anyone and has established himself as a main event caliber guy.

The more I think about it, the more I’m going with Rollins. Orton already got his big beatdown segment, so it would be pretty anti-climatic to have him just beat Rollins up again and then pin him after the RKO. Since this isn’t going to be a gimmick match (because the calendar says we can only have those next month), there’s really no reason to have Orton go all psycho again here and get his revenge. Also, it would be nice to see Rollins get the big win, especially if he’s going to cash in later in the night (more on that later).

This match has the potential to be the best worked match on the card, as Orton always gets a reaction and the Stooges have been awesome as Seth’s inept backup. I’m thinking they offer a distraction and Rollins gets the big Curb Stomp for the win, as there’s really no logical reason for Orton to go over here…..and that probably should swing my vote to the other side shouldn’t it? I’ll stick with Rollins in one of the few matches I’m looking forward to, really stupid build (imagine that on this show) aside.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Pre-Show: Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

This one didn’t take long.

This is on the pre-show this year and I can’t say I’m surprised. The other day I saw someone say that this is just the same battle royal they had on the pre-show for years and he was exactly right. Yeah last year’s was cool with Hogan endorsing it and Cesaro getting what should have been the star of a major push for him, but instead it would up being the catch all match for the people that couldn’t get on the show anywhere else.

I won’t bother listing off everyone in the match (only twenty this year, as it probably should be) but here are the names that matter: Miz, Mizdow, Kane, Big Show, Ryback, Mark Henry. Other than that everyone is a jobber or Hideo Itami making his main roster debut. The interesting thing is there’s no spot for Sheamus, who I would have had winning the thing. However, now that he’s not an option, it makes for a more wide open (or as wide as you can get with six guys as potential winners) field.

The only really interesting story for anyone in the match is between Miz and Mizdow, but the problem with FINALLY turning Mizdow here is if he doesn’t win, what difference does it make? Unfortunately I have no faith in the writers to realize this so I don’t think Miz or Mizdow goes over here.

Kane, Big Show and Mark Henry……just no. Henry would be the best choice of the three and I think I’ve covered why I never want to see Big Show or Kane win a match again as long as they live. None of these guys need to win this though and there’s no point in putting any of them over the younger guys. Let someone look good in eliminating them and leave it at that.

That brings us to the two people I could see winning. First and foremost, I really don’t think Itami gets it. He comes off more like an entrant to put in there so they don’t have to put Neville or Balor in the match and have them lose before their callups in the very near future. Itami will probably get a kicking demonstration, but he isn’t going to make it to the final three.

Therefore, I’m going with Ryback. He’s been on a pretty good roll lately and they seem somewhat serious about making him into a big guy (see what I did there?) again. It doesn’t help that I’m still a fan of the guy and would like to see him get as close back to where he was before the WE HAVE TO KEEP THE TITLE ON PUNK BECAUSE WE BOOK THINGS SEVEN MONTHS IN ADVANCE NOW booking cut his legs off. Something tells me I’m wrong on this, but it’s more what I want to see than anything else.

Keep in mind that my pick instantly changes to Sheamus should he be in it, which wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. What would however be the worst thing in the world is if they don’t do SOMETHING with Curtis Axel in this. I know he won’t and shouldn’t win, but have him do something to play up all the responses he’s gotten since the Rumble. You have something there, so run with it, even if it’s just a short sprint.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Wrestlemania XXXI Preview: Pre-Show: Tag Team Titles

Now stop me if you’ve heard this one before.

This match is so similar to last year’s pre-show match that it’s hard to believe a year has passed. The Usos and Los Matadores were in the match last year (with the Usos defending) and Cesaro was in the Real Americans. This isn’t meant to be an important match and will likely have a lot of jumps and dives and not much more.

The build for this has been ok at best with some REALLY glaring issues. As I’ve complained about already, within the last ten days we’ve had two matches focusing on the managers of two of the teams. The Tag Team Champions and one of their challengers have been a backdrop for a bull vs. Natalya, yet people wonder why no one cares about this story. I don’t see much of a reason to be interested, but let’s look at each of the teams.

None of the teams do much for me aside from Kidd and Cesaro. They’re a good act with a nice balance of power and speed (a proven formula for a tag team) and both guys have earned a title reign like this. Unfortunately the division isn’t the strongest, but at least it’s there. Hopefully Cesaro gets a reaction like he got last year, but my goodness he’s cooled down a lot.

Los Matadores are who they are. I’m not sure what else you want me to say about them.

The New Day……yeah they kind of suck at the moment. It’s a shame too as Big E. and Kofi have the potential to be a solid team, but the three man concept really hasn’t taken off. At the end of the day, there isn’t enough staying power for them because we’re not really sure what they’re supposed to be. Oh and because the only characteristic between the three of them is Big E. sweating a lot. At least it’s Kofi instead of Woods. I don’t mind Woods, but if I never saw him again I wouldn’t mind much. Put him in the white suit and let him talk but leave the wrestling to the other guys.

Finally we have the Usos, who haven’t changed a bit since last year other than not having the titles but gaining a manager in Naomi. I’m sure they’ll do their high flying stuff but there really isn’t much to them that we haven’t seen yet. They’re a nice appetizer though: there’s nothing substantial about them, but they get you hungry for the important stuff later on in the night.

As for a winner, I’m afraid they’re going to give the belts back to the Usos, even though they’ve already had their big reign and would just be placeholders until we get the next big team. I’ll say Cesaro and Kidd retain, in the hopes they’ll be the next big team. Unfortunately there’s no Ascension in this match, but at least JBL, the heel commentator, got a face pop and the New Age Outlaws got their annual PPV shot because they’re friends with the boss. I mean, I’m so glad we got a year out of the Ascension dominating developmental to get JBL and the Outlaws over again.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1998 Pay Per View reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


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Fast Lane 2015 Preview

It says a lot that I had completely forgotten this show was tomorrow night. Fast Lane is a show that really doesn’t need to exist and most of these matches could have easily been done as big time Raw main events over the course of a few weeks. Instead though they need a way to bulk up the Network subscriptions, and to be fair the free month for Survivor Series was an amazing success. This show really isn’t doing much for me though so let’s get to it.

We’ll start with the match recently added: a six man tag between Kane/Big Show/Seth Rollins vs. Ryback/Dolph Ziggler/Erick Rowan. This match makes sense because the Survivor Series WILL NEVER DIE. It was also odd that you had these six guys all sitting around doing nothing so why not just get a big tag match to put them all on the show? It’s definitely the most logical move they could go with and avoids repeats of singles matches we’ve already seen for a change.

As for the winners, of course it’s the Authority, because we have to keep Big Show and Kane looking strong see. Oh and that Rollins guy gets to get a nice rub too. Rollins hasn’t had much to do since the Rumble and it really goes to show you how up and down the booking is. Yeah he’s beaten Ziggler a few times, but who hasn’t at this point? Rowan is done to say the least, but Ryback has been treated as a pretty big deal since he’s been back. Still though, the Authority wins and they win without much trouble.

I’ll take Stardust over Goldust, likely setting up a Wrestlemania rematch for Goldust’s career. The guy has been around forever and would be excellent for an agent’s job. Stardust needs a win to establish himself as a singles guy, which could be interesting if they let him run with it.

Usos retain the titles because Cesaro and Kidd are just there to give the smarks something to cheer for. Not that it matters anyway as the Ascension is waiting in the wings to take the belts. I wouldn’t mind a more interesting story for the titles, but at least it’s based on something that happened in WWE rather than the stupid reality show.

Ambrose somehow loses the title shot because Barrett has lost almost everything leading up to this match, so why not just let him keep the title? Besides, Ambrose hasn’t won on pay per view since….well since the Shield was around actually. Couple that with him not winning a singles pay per view match since Night of Champions 2013 and there’s no reason to think he should win tomorrow night.

Speaking of horrible stories that make my soul hurt and have no basis in logic or reasoning while involving babbling morons who are a disgrace to their far more talented NXT counterparts but fill out tight tops and shorts better and therefore are more entitled to a spot on the main roster, Nikki retains the title over Paige because TOTAL DIVAS MEANS THEY’RE SO TOTALLY CELEBRITIES and since that show is about the Bellas, they’re more important than Paige. Or something.

I’ll actually take Rusev to keep the title, albeit not in a straight finish. This screams Wrestlemania rematch, which isn’t something I care for most of the time. They also seem to be having some issues with how this match is booked, as the eye injury has been forgotten and for some reason they’re not just going with America vs. Russia, which has worked for the better part of eternity. Instead it’s “Cena is suddenly old, even though no one but Vince thinks that”, which is a pretty lame storyline. Anyway, Rusev retains and Cena gets his big win at Wrestlemania…..in theory. I’d love to see Rusev beat him on the big stage.

That leaves us with Bryan vs. Reigns for the Mania title shot, and I really think they’re going with the triple threat. It would fit perfectly with this show meaning nothing, so why not just have them go with that and put Bryan in the title match? It makes sense (or as much sense as this story can make) and gets us where we need to go. Reigns vs. Lesnar wouldn’t work on its own nearly as well, but it’s clear that this Wrestlemania is going to suffer from them not knowing where they want to go, at least on paper.

Oh and HHH calls out Sting.  They’ll talk, they’ll talk some more, they’ll pretend the Invasion wasn’t a thing, Sting will punch him a few times, a match will be made for Wrestlemania, it will take about three times longer than it should.

Overall, as I’ve mentioned more than once in the preview, this show doesn’t need to exist. It’s there because the Network needs something to hype up and doesn’t make sense with the storylines they have. It’s a weak card which will likely lead us to a weak Wrestlemania, so why would I want to see this? I’ll be watching, but I think the Oscars are going to distract me from this dull show more than once.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6