Monday Night Raw
Date: May 17, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

To say these recent shows haven’t been interesting is a huge understatement. They’re just not working and haven’t been in almost the entire time the show has been on the air. You get a few moments that are better than the rest but really, the show feels like Superstars with a budget and we need more than that. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Earlier today, Savage and the Smoking Gunns supported some Special Olympians. Nothing wrong with that.

We look at last week’s brawl between Mr. Perfect and Shawn Michaels.

Lord Alfred Hayes says someone is here in disguise and we’ll see who it is later.

Smoking Gunns vs. Glenn Ruth/Tony Vajda

Ruth is more famous as Headbanger Thrasher. Bart hiptosses Vajda to start and the Gunns start tagging a bit. Ruth comes in and takes a clothesline as well but something is botched, only to have the Gunns save it with a double legsweep. Some very slow offense ensues, including some kicks and legdrops as the arm work continues. Billy backdrops Glenn into a piledriver (which might have been a botched powerbomb) for the pin.

Rating: D. Long and boring stuff here but that’s what you had to expect. The Gunns certainly weren’t a great team but at this point, there wasn’t exactly much to go around in the division. They helped bolster the ranks a little bit and that’s exactly what the division needed around this time.

Vince brings out Shawn Michaels for a chat and we hit the SHAWN IS GAY chants. Heenan: “You hear that? Shawn is great!” Shawn told us all that he would win the Intercontinental Title and defend it around the world, which is exactly what he did. He told us he would beat up Mr. Perfect and he’s done that too.

Vince suggests that Shawn isn’t exactly a fighting champion so Michaels agrees to face anyone anywhere anytime and you know that’s not something you say in wrestling. Cue a “fan” who looks a lot like Marty Jannetty in a hoodie and sunglasses. The “fan” gets in the ring and removes the hood and sunglasses to reveal….MARTY JANNETTY! He’ll take a title shot tonight and just happens to have his gear in the back. Vince says it’s on for later tonight.

Razor Ramon vs. The Kid

This one is kind of famous. Razor throws the toothpick in his face to start and lights up Kid’s chest with some chops. There’s the fall away slam and Razor slaps him in the back of the head. Razor misses a charge into the corner though and Kid goes up for a moonsault press for what might be the biggest upset in company history.

THIS is the moment that put Raw on the map. After being just another wrestling show for a few months, this match put it on the map as a show where things could happen. This isn’t some pin where interference led to a pin. The Kid capitalized on Ramon’s mistake and got a 100% clean pin. It’s the kind of thing you don’t see very often and the New York crowd ate it up. There’s a reason this one was on highlight reels for a very long time and it still shows up occasionally.

Tatanka vs. Scott Taylor

Taylor gets backdropped to the floor for a fast start as Heenan talks about toilet paper statistics. More throwing around ensues and Vince suggests the Kid should now be the 1-2-3 Kid. The Papoose to Go puts Taylor away.

Rating: D+. Another squash but the fans needed a minute to breathe after the huge upset. It really is amazing how well Tatanka did with such a generic gimmick. He wasn’t all that talented in the ring either but he made the most of it and that’s what matters more than anything. Fans can tell when you’re trying and that usually means success.

King of the Ring Report with Gene talking about the tournament and World Title match.

Yokozuna vs. Kamala

Kamala looks confused by Yokozuna’s entrance but he looks that way more often than not. The collision goes to Kamala and a superkick to the chest staggers the bigger man even more. Kamala chops away but a shot to the throat slows him down again. The huge leg crushes Kamala but he pops up for more chops. Fuji grabs the leg though and Yokozuna finishes with the usual.

Rating: D. This was actually a lot less bad (I can’t say better) than I was expecting here with Kamala giving us a few hope spots before losing in the end as you had to expect he would. Yokozuna was clearly on the way to getting the World Title back at the King of the Ring and there’s nothing wrong with that. He never should have lost it in the first place.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty

Shawn is defending and gets rolled up a few times to start. A clothesline puts Shawn on the floor as Heenan is in full on panic mode early on. Marty follows him out with a slingshot plancha and the fans are WAY into him here. Back in and Marty grabs a flying headscissors for two as the very hot pace continues. A whip into the corner turns Shawn upside down and out to the floor. Michaels can’t walk out though as Mr. Perfect is waiting for him in the aisle.

Back from a break with Marty eating a hot shot and we hit the chinlock. A catapult sends Shawn had first into the post for a very close two as the fans continue to die over these near falls. Marty gets two off a jumping back elbow and powerslam, followed by a spinning crossbody for the same. Shawn comes right back with the superkick but stops to yell at Perfect. That earns Shawn a towel to the face, setting up a small package to give Marty the pin and the title.

Rating: B. This was the kind of fast paced match that you just didn’t get from Raw so far, making this even more impressive than usual. Marty winning the title (the first title change ever on the show) was a major deal as it made you feel like anything could happen. The fast pace helped a lot here and that’s why the match stood out: it was genuinely different and more proof that the line should be “the Jim Neidhart of the team” rather than the Marty.

Overall Rating: B+. This is the show that made people believe Raw was something different. Having two big surprises like that in a row made Raw feel so much different and really inspired the Monday Nitro formula. The idea here was to make Raw feel like a show you couldn’t miss and that’s exactly what they did. Really well done here and by far the benchmark for good Raw’s in the early days.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 10, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

It’s the start of a fresh taping cycle with a rematch for the Intercontinental Title. Jim Duggan wasn’t happy with losing his first shot at Shawn Michaels due to countout so we have a lumberjack match this time around. We’re also getting ready for the King of the Ring, meaning more qualifying matches. Let’s get to it.

Earlier tonight, Shawn Michaels was talking about the title match when Mr. Perfect jumps him, starting a fight that winds up on a car (Howard Finkel’s to be exact).

Opening sequence.

The announcers argue over their favorite lumberjacks.

King of the Ring Tournament Qualifying Match: Typhoon vs. Bam Bam Bigelow

They bounce off each other to start (duh) so Typhoon slams him. Typhoon gets in a few more big shots until he gets sent into the post to really change control. It’s off to the big fat chinlock and we take a break. Back with Bigelow hitting a Samoan drop, followed by the flying headbutt for the pin.

Rating: D-. What else were you expecting here? Bigelow was actually talented and getting a push around this time so it makes a lot more sense to have him go over the waste of a roster spot that is Typhoon. That waste would be over shortly though as Typhoon left and became the Shockmaster very soon after this.

The Smoking Gunns are coming.

Yokozuna vs. P.J. Walker

That’s Justin Credible. Minus the bad hair cut, Walker does have a great look and could have been a Marty Jannetty style guy if he never went to ECW. An early belly to belly suplex sets up the big leg, followed by the Banzai Drop for the easy pin. On Walker if that’s not really clear.

King of the Ring Report focusing on the tournament. It’s so odd to see Gene Okerlund looking somewhat young. Well, younger at least.

Mr. Perfect vs. Iron Mike Sharpe

For some reason Perfect hits on the rather hefty Raw Girl, only to throw his gum in her mouth. She seems to like it so the announcers hit the UNCOOKED, UNCUT, UNCENSORED line. Perfect dropkicks Mike to the floor and rains down some right hands in the corner. Sharpe comes out of the corner and they chop the heck out of each other with Perfect getting the better of it. The fans are doing the wave so Heenan starts watching TV in an odd bit. Heenan is looking for “that movie where the girl goes to Dallas”, and I’m assuming you get that joke for yourself. The PerfectPlex wraps Sharpe up.

Rating: C. This actually wasn’t half bad with Sharpe being the kind of guy with enough experience to make a go of it. I can live with a slightly more energetic squash as it’s a lot better to have something with some effort instead of just having someone get broken in half and then hit with a finisher.

Cannonball Kid vs. Mr. Hughes

That would be Lightning Kid from last week. Hughes brings out Harvey Wippleman as his new manager. A powerslam sets up a two handed chokeslam as this is more dominance. Hughes kicks him in the face and finishes with a Boss Man Slam. The name changes are at least something interesting and might be leading to something.

Intercontinental Title: Jim Duggan vs. Shawn Michaels

Michaels is defending and this is a lumberjack match. During his entrance, Duggan goes outside and drops Yokozuna with one punch. TAKE THAT HOGAN! Shawn comes out on crutches and something seems to be afoot. Er….maybe aknee or aleg. Mr. Perfect doesn’t buy it and throws Shawn inside with the knee looking just fine.

Jim goes right after him and holds Shawn up for a good while before the slam. The fans call Shawn gay as Duggan gets two off a suplex. We hit some choking in the corner and Shawn is getting destroyed so far. Right hands in the corner knock Shawn silly and Duggan tosses him outside as I remember this is a lumberjack match. Shawn is thrown back inside and we take a break.

Back with Duggan missing a knee to FINALLY give Shawn a breather. Shawn removes his boot and knocks Duggan silly (Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a foot inside the boot?) before Jim runs into another boot in the corner. It’s off to the chinlock for a bit before Duggan comes back with more clotheslines and a slam. Duggan’s chinlock doesn’t do much but Shawn knocks him into Bigelow on the apron. Yokozuna adds a huge leg on the floor but Perfect comes in for the DQ.

Rating: D. The problem with these early Raw’s is they try to stretch out matches that have no business being stretched. Counting commercials, this went about twenty minutes. Did ANYONE want to see Duggan go that long at any point past about 1984? It wasn’t the worst match ever but the lumberjacks were only there for the ending, which isn’t the most interesting thing in the world.

The lumberjacks brawl to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. A five and a half minute Mike Sharpe match isn’t enough to save this one and that really shouldn’t be much of a surprise. These shows are all about the big match and Jim Duggan in a match this long isn’t going to make that work. We need to actually get to something interesting soon because these shows aren’t working at the moment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 3, 1993
Location: Manhattan Center, New York City, New York
Attendance: 1,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Randy Savage, Bobby Heenan

It’s another fresh month here as I’m hoping to start doing more of these. This is very early in the show’s run as we’re not even going to hit episode twenty by the end of the month. It’s also coming up on the first King of the Ring but there’s a good chance a lot of the tournament will take place on Superstars, which was still the major show for the most part. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Intercontinental Title: Shawn Michaels vs. Jim Duggan

Duggan is challenging and is in his weird singlet phase here. Shawn bails to the floor to start as the stalling is very obvious here. Back in and we hit some clotheslines before Shawn goes over to mess with Duggan’s board. Duggan won’t let him walk out and we take a break.

Back with Duggan getting his throat snapped across the top rope, followed by a few kneedrops. Some elbows get two and it’s off to the chinlock. Shawn cuts off a comeback with a knee to the ribs as this is in need of some caffeine. What it doesn’t need is a snapmare into another chinlock. Duggan fights up again and hits a few big right hands. A very spinning slam sends Shawn out to the floor and they walk around a lot for the double countout.

Rating: D. Far too much chinlockery here which is so often the case around here. Yeah it was an eleven minute match but that doesn’t mean it’s the right idea. It made for a very long and dull match as Duggan wasn’t about to win the title and his offense was almost all brawling. Shawn is a borderline miracle worker but he needs a little more than this.

Duggan doesn’t think this is fair and wants a rematch so he sits in the ring.

King of the Ring Report with a look at the updated qualifying matches. Not much to see here but I miss these things.

Doink the Clown vs. Kamikaze Kid

Now this is an interesting one as the Kid is making his debut after being one of the hottest indy acts in the country. However he’s been tweaked a bit as he was better known as the Lightning Kid (with his tights saying L. Kid) but now he’s under a new name. You would know him better as the 1-2-3 Kid or X-Pac. Doink runs him over to start and grabs an STF. A few elbow drops set up the Stump Puller (Doink sits on his neck and pulls back on the leg) for the submission.

Apparently Duggan is on the phone with President Jack Tunney. I’m as riveted as you are.

Bob Backlund vs. Dwayne Gill

They slowly circle to start with Backlund tripping him down a few times. That goes nowhere so let’s talk about Duggan getting his rematch against Michaels next week in a lumberjack match. Gill hiptosses him down and grabs the shortarm scissors so Backlund can do the power up spot. A bridging cradle (with two thumbs up) gives Bob the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much you can say here but it could have been worse. I know Backlund has won a lot of matches in his day but he just beat GILLBERG. This was fine enough as a way to kill some time but I don’t think anyone was buying Backlund as anything interesting at this point.

Duggan says he’ll beat Shawn in a fight instead of a match. This leads to an explanation of a lumberjack match for the really slow fans.

The Smoking Gunns are coming and like to shoot things in the desert. These vignettes need to come back, albeit in a slightly less cheesy form.

Headshrinkers vs. Jim Bell/Jay Savage

Lou Albano comes out for commentary as a surprise and goes on a rant about how he doesn’t trust Heenan. Bobby: “I’m not a demented halfwit where you put his brain in a pigeon and he flies upside down!” Sledge gets tossed into the air for a big crash and now we talk about the lumberjacks to ignore the match even more.

A spike piledriver only draws an OH NO and it’s back to Albano bantering. Normally I would make fun of this but what else is there to talk about during a squash? Albano speaks…..whatever language the Headshrinkers speak and tries to get them to follow the rules. The destruction continues and it’s a double Stroke into Fatu’s Superfly Splash for the pin.

Rating: D. This was all about the angle with Albano wanting to turn the Headshrinkers towards the light and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d much rather they take a squash and turn it into a story instead of just wasting our time like most matches such as this one. Then again it might just be because I’m a Headshrinker fan.

Home improvement with the Bushwhackers from Smack Em Whack Em, which is pretty easily the best Coliseum Video ever.

Kamala vs. Rich Myers

Kamala’s manager Slick isn’t here this week for no apparent reason. The tossing around begins and we hit some choking. A superkick sets up the big splash and the fans remind Kamala to turn the jobber over for the pin.

Shawn is annoyed to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. The chinlocking in the Intercontinental Title match really hurt things here but it could have been a lot worse. 1993 just isn’t that interesting and there’s really not much of a way around that. There isn’t much to say here as there’s over a month before the next pay per view and that doesn’t leave a lot to talk about week to week.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: September 2, 2002
Location: Bradley Center, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

So uh, we don’t have a World Champion around here anymore because Brock Lesnar is the second latest casualty of the Brand Wars. The latest casualty is the Undertaker, who went back to Smackdown when Stephanie basically just told him to come because that’s how this era works. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to open things up and he’s got a briefcase. Bischoff gets right to the point: Raw needs a champion so here’s the REAL #1 contender: HHH. Eric praises HHH by saying WCW would have won the Monday Night Wars with HHH on their side. HHH takes credit for running Lesnar off and says his wife knew what was best for the company (Wouldn’t that be signing HHH?).

It’s time for the briefcase which contains the Big Gold Belt because HHH is the brand new World Heavyweight Champion (Thereby beginning its lineage. I’ve heard people say it’s the same lineage as the WCW and/or NWA World Titles and it’s still nonsense. This belt began here and that’s all there is to it.).

HHH starts in on the big speech and here’s Ric Flair to cut him off. No one ever handed him a title in a briefcase (True. When Kevin Nash literally gave him the title for reign #16, there was no briefcase involved.) so Flair thinks he should get a title shot tonight. Bischoff makes the match and both guys say it’s going to be an honor. Are we in TNA all of a sudden? HHH gets in a cheap shot before leaving.

Post break, HHH and Bubba Ray Dudley run into each other and Bubba is declared jealous. HHH talks about how Bubba could be champion one day. Bubba isn’t pleased and calls the belt Raw’s salvation before saying he’ll win the title soon enough. Uh, right.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly/Christopher Nowinski

Tables match. Earlier today, Chris said that after their opponents are put through tables, he’ll burst through something else. I’ll quote the following line: “And by that, I mean Molly’s hymen.” What is with these disturbing stories involving Molly? First she’s fat (not really but whatever), then she’s horrible because she’s a virgin and now it’s about taking her virginity. I know they need characters but this is ridiculous.

The guys start with Nowinski actually taking over before it’s off to Molly. That means a failed powerbomb attempt as Molly grabs a waistlock. King: “What’s that? The hymen maneuver?” It leads to some dancing as Molly’s pointless humiliation continues. I speak too soon as Bully takes her pants down (King: “IS THAT HER HYMEN???”), allowing Trish to get in a few spanks.

A WE WANT PUPPIES chant starts up as Molly gets in a neckbreaker, only to have Trish grab her own to put both women down. Bubba comes in and cleans Nowinski’s clock, giving us the “Chris falls into Molly’s crotch” spot. Chris takes What’s Up and it’s finally table time. The Molly Go Round drops Trish but Bubba saves her from the table. Nowinski misses a splash to drive himself through a table and that counts as an elimination, likely as the referee wants this to end. Molly is sent through to finally end this.

Rating: No. In every possible sense of the word, no. This wasn’t funny, this wasn’t amusing, this wasn’t something that belongs on any wrestling show ever. Just imagine someone saying ANY of these jokes on a wrestling show today and think how long they would last before being fired. This was horrible and I feel so sorry for Molly having to deal with this nonsense.

Christian and Lance Storm don’t think much of American pride or Kane for that matter either. Storm laughs off the idea of such a fat country celebrating Labor Day. Test teases more flag burning.

Bischoff gives Terri and Stacy a lingerie pillow fight. Eric gets a preview of their attire and makes various jokes.

Chris Jericho yells at Flair for getting the title shot but Ric brings up Jericho tapping out at Summerslam. Jericho hopes Flair wins so he can get the title back. These two have good chemistry together.

William Regal vs. Booker T.

Regal slugs away to start but King wants to talk about the pillow fight. Booker’s right hands don’t have much effect as Regal knocks him to the floor. Back in and the Regal Cutter gets two, only to get caught by Booker’s collection of kicks for the pin.

Rating: D+. Well…it could have been worse. The problem here is that there’s no real reason to have the match but at least the right guy won. Regal hasn’t been doing anything of note in recent weeks but Booker is getting more and more over every week. I mean, it would be nice if they went somewhere with that (say, across a few continents, like something INTERCONTINENTAL, but that’s just nonsense of course) but for now it’s just Spinaroonis all around.

Booker does the Spinarooni.

We look back at Shawn Michaels winning at Summerslam but getting attacked by HHH.

Shawn is in a wheelchair and doesn’t know if he’ll ever get his mobility back (though he does have feeling in his legs). What he does know is that it was all worth it and as far as HHH goes, what goes around comes around. Shawn picks up a sledgehammer and stares.

HHH is rubbing the title and smiling way too much.

Raw World Title: HHH vs. Ric Flair

HHH is defending of course. Flair quickly takes him down so we can hit the technical sequence. One heck of a chop sends HHH to the floor before it’s time to work on the arm for a bit. The technical, which means boring here, pace continues as HHH stomps in the corner and whips Flair over the corner and out to the floor.

HHH cranks up the speed with a suplex so Flair gives him a belly to back version. The kneedrop misses and HHH very, VERY slowly starts working on it but makes sure to walk around a bit in between. The Figure Four is countered into a small package for two on HHH, followed by an Irish whip into a chop. I’m still waiting on them to top that suplex.

A very basic whip into the corner sets up a way too big bump over the corner to send HHH to the floor. Back in and the shinbreaker sets up the Figure Four but HHH makes the ropes. The referee is sent to the floor, low blow, Pedigree and the title is retained. It’s as sudden as it sounds.

Rating: D-. I can accept the idea of a slower paced match but this felt like two seventy year olds who were on a reunion show. I’m sure HHH had a blast wrestling a rather old school style match against Flair but isn’t one big present enough in one night? HHH can be entertaining but this was taking everything that made him work (as a heel that is) and putting it in slow motion.

Post match Jericho comes out to put Flair in the Walls but Rob Van Dam makes a save.

Big Show yells at Bischoff, demanding to be #1 contender. Bischoff says go impress him and Show leaves. Eric gets a call and yells in his exposition voice that someone is jumping from Raw to join a family member on Smackdown.

Kane vs. Lance Storm/Christian

Kane shrugs off a double team and throws Storm at Christian for the early advantage. The slow (WAY too common of a theme tonight) pace begins again with Kane getting beaten down in the corner, allowing some cheap double teaming to put him down for two. The Unprettier is broken up and an electric chair puts Christian down. Kane’s comeback is cut off by even more double teaming as this is just BORING. How can you have three talented guys putting on such an uninteresting match? Storm superkicks Christian by mistake and it’s a chokeslam for the pin.

Rating: D. The Tag Team Champions, as in the ONLY Tag Team Champions in the company, just got beat clean in less than six minutes by someone who hasn’t had a match in four months. Normally I would call this an issue of the era but champions losing will always be an issue in WWE.

Post match Test tries to burn the flag but Bradshaw returns for the save. Oh. Great.

Big Show vs. Tommy Dreamer

Show throws him around with ease, then throws him around with no effort, followed by throwing him around like he’s nothing. The referee tells him not to use a chair though so Dreamer uses it and Show wins via DQ.

Dreamer beats the heck out of Show because we’re to the point where TOMMY DREAMER might be an option.

HHH wants to fight RVD tonight (HHH? Wanting to have three major segments on one show? You don’t say!) so Bischoff makes a tag with HHH/Jericho vs. Flair/Van Dam. At least Jericho and HHH argue to keep up some continuity.

Jeff Hardy vs. Crash

…..Crash is the one jumping isn’t he? This show has been so bad and so dull that it would be the only possible choice. Bischoff comes out before the bell and accuses Jeff of being the jumper so he sends out 3 Minute Warning for the big beatdown.

Jeff gets destroyed and OF COURSE CRASH IS THE ONE LEAVING. Bischoff is shocked because someone whose last (non-instant Hardcore Title match) win on Raw was in June 2001 is jumping to Raw.

Stacy Keibler vs. Terri

There’s a carpet, bed and pillows in the ring with Jerry Lawler doing running commentary. There’s spanking, stuffed animals, a slam onto a bed, a Bronco Buster and a rollup gives Terri the pin in less than two minutes. Holy sweet goodness END THIS SHOW ALREADY.

Post match Stacy hits her with a loaded pillow and covers her with a bucket of oil, which just happened to be underneath the ring. Feathering ensues. I’m so glad they had Stacy stop being the sexy assistant (as in the role she was born to play) to be….whatever this is.

HHH/Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam/Ric Flair

Van Dam goes after the heels before Flair can come out for no apparent reason, meaning Ric gets to make the save. We settle down to Jericho suplexing Van Dam for two so Lawler starts talking about the hymen again. Flair struts in as we hit the WOO before Jericho easily drops him. HHH gets in some right hands of his own but Jericho crotches himself, allowing the hot tag off to Van Dam.

One heck of a chair shot drops Rob but the fans are too busy chanting FOZZY SUCKS. Van Dam takes every main event tag team beating that you’ve ever seen in about three minutes until HHH throws Flair to the floor. Rob comes back with a few kicks to HHH but Jericho breaks up the Five Star. The Lionsault gives HHH two and Flair puts Jericho in the Figure Four on the outside. That allows HHH to bring in the title and very blatantly hold it up for the Van Daminator. The Five Star puts HHH away.

Rating: D+. See? He puts people over! All it took was a belt shot and Van Dam being fresh while HHH was in his second match. The match wasn’t half bad actually and sets up the title shot, but it’s WAY too late to save this show, especially with a match that wasn’t all that great in the first place.

Overall Rating: F. This was horrible and I have no idea how else to describe it. Between making jokes about taking Molly’s virginity and King going on and on about her various body parts to HHH taking his sweet time getting the World Title to the AWFUL Flair vs. HHH match to the pillow fight to a story about Crash freaking Holly (good thing he was on the show tonight) to the Tag Team Champions doing a clean job, I can’t think of a single good thing on this show. I’ll give Bischoff this much: I feel like I’m watching Nitro more and more every single week.

This show got as close to breaking me as anything has in a good while. It felt like there was no effort being put in here other than to amuse the people who put it together while making HHH into the most boring top star in history. I really could not stand this show and if this is where we’re going for the next several months, they’re in a lot of trouble.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 27, 1996
Location: Cumberland County Memorial Auditorium, Fayetteville, North Carolina
Attendance: 5,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

We’re past In Your House VIII and….we saw about half the show. In a pretty famous moment, the arena’s power was knocked out by an electrical storm and aside from the first and last matches, the arena was dark for most of the night. Therefore this is actually a go home show with Tuesday offering a live Beware of Dog II. Let’s get to it.

Oh and over on Nitro, Scott Hall jumped the barricade.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Goldust vs. Ultimate Warrior

Rematch from their disaster of a “match” at In Your House VII and Goldust’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line. Warrior has to chase him on the floor to start and it’s time for the 80s offense to begin. Goldust’s right hands and forearms have no effect as Warrior easily throws him down.

A trip to the floor sees both guys being sent into various metal objects as Vince talks about Warrior’s completely insane (like, insane even by Warrior’s standards) comic book. An electric chair drop sends Goldust bailing but Ahmed Johnson drags him back to the ring as we head to a break.

Back with Warrior being thrown through Goldust’s wooden chair, drawing in some canned Warrior chants. Warrior’s banged up shoulder doesn’t prevent him from hitting a powerslam (suplex according to that nitwit Vince) but we hit the chinlock anyway. The comeback sends Goldust out to the floor with Warrior following him out for a horrible double countout.

Rating: D-. Was there something in the water in 1996? Who decided to book all these horrible non-finishes after such stupidly long matches? Warrior was just so out of place in 1996 and it showed more and more every time he got in the ring. The business had just passed him by at this point and there was no way around it. That and Goldust hadn’t sped his offense up yet to make him watchable. Just awful here, but that had to be expected.

Lawler threatens Warrior with the broken chair, setting off their infamous feud where Lawler claimed people didn’t care because Warrior wore a hat during a promo. Seriously, it’s on the Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior DVD. Is there any wonder why Warrior sued over that hatchet job?

We go over Beware of Dog and the issues setting up the second show. This is a rare instance where things were out of the company’s hands and they did the only possible option.

Ted DiBiase thinks Savio Vega cheated in the dark last night so he’s willing to put up his WWF career in the rematch. The ending to that was flat out smart.

Smoking Gunns vs. BodyDonnas

The Gunns’ Tag Team Titles aren’t on the line (that would make too much sense) and they have Sunny with them after she tricked Phineas into making her their manager, which set up her turning on them less than a week later to get the belts on the Gunns. That makes this the BodyDonnas faces somehow and Hillbilly Jim is on commentary. Bart works on Zip’s arm to start and gorilla presses him down as we take an early break.

Back with various shots of cowgirl Sunny (that works) and Bart getting double teamed on the floor. Skip’s legdrop gets two and Zip’s gutwrench powerbomb is good for the same. We hit the chinlock for a long bit until Phineas Godwinn comes out to plead his case with Sunny. Jim and the Godwinns leave as Bart takes a double slingshot suplex. The illegal Skip goes up but Bart rolls through the high crossbody for the fast pin.

Rating: D+. WAY better match here as it actually felt entertaining at times. The Tag Team Title division needed a few adjustments but the Sunny story was better than having nothing at all. Once they got the face/heel alignment straightened out (that took some time) and got rid of Hillbilly Jim, everything wound up being….well it wound up being pretty dull but it was better than anything else we had seen for awhile.

We recap last night’s main event which ended in a double pin. I know Shawn gets a lot of flack for not drawing during this time but his first long feud was with British Bulldog. That’s no on Shawn.

King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Ahmed Johnson vs. Vader

Owen Hart is on commentary. They slowly shove each other to start and Ahmed isn’t intimidated in the slightest. Vader actually gets pummeled down in the corner and the place goes NUTS, giving one of the true genuinely strong reactions outside of Undertaker/Shawn you’ll ever see in this era.

Vader gets in a few shots but Ahmed shrugs it off and crossbodies Vader to the floor, taking the mask off in the process. Back from a break with Vader kneeing him in the ribs and hitting the middle rope clothesline for two. Ahmed comes back with his own hard clothesline but Vader drops him all over again. They’re beating the heck out of each other here and it’s pretty close to awesome.

We hit the chinlock as Owen claims that Ahmed cheated in the Kuwaiti Cup. He doesn’t give any reason why but insists that it happened. Simple yet effective heel stuff there, which is what often works best. Vader tries the moonsault and fails as usual, allowing Ahmed to get in a powerslam. Jim Cornette gets dragged in (Owen: “GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF MY MANAGER!”) and Ahmed spinebusters Vader, only to have Owen sneak in with a cast shot to the head to give Vader the pin. That’s Ahmed’s first loss.

Rating: C+. This is a good example of a match that might not be the highest quality but it was a lot of fun, which is exactly what a show like this needed. Vader was selling the heck out of Ahmed’s offense and the fans ate it up because Ahmed wasn’t like everyone else at this point. Vader could sell like few others and it’s no surprise that both of these guys would be in the main event scene soon.

Ahmed is taken out on a stretch and Goldust gives him mouth to mouth, leaving gold paint on his lips. Johnson loses it and chokes Bob Holly to find out where Goldust is. Ahmed runs through a guy in pink (who I thought was Bret Hart at the time) to get into Goldust’s locker room. That goes nowhere so Ahmed punches out the cameraman to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Once we got past the endless opener, this turned into a much, much more entertaining show due to an actual story and a really fun main event. Johnson seemed destined to be a star and if he could speak anything close to English he would have been World Champion easily. Anyway, far better show than the last few weeks but that’s not saying much.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 20, 1996
Location: Sioux City Auditorium, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 4,000

Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

This is going to be the last show of an era as the Curtain Call happened over the weekend but this was taped WAY in advance so the political issues haven’t come up yet. The big story, for whatever reason, continues to be Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog over allegations that Shawn went after Bulldog’s wife. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

Steve Austin vs. Marc Mero

During the entrances, we’re told about the Godwinns winning the Tag Team Titles over the weekend. How odd is it for that to be a line just thrown in like that? They trade some arm cranking to start with Mero getting the better of it and shrugging off some right hands to the jaw.

An elbow works a bit better and Austin hits a release Snake Eyes to really take over. Austin sends him outside and we take a break as this is really dull stuff so far. It really is amazing how much more exciting Austin would get because this is dreadful at the moment. Back with Austin getting two off the middle rope elbow and grabbing a chinlock.

Mero fights up but gets caught in a jawbreaker, which is totally different from a Stunner (yes, TOTALLY). It’s back to the chinlock for a bit before Mero makes his real comeback with the usual, including right hands in the corner. Austin shoves him out of the corner and goes up, only to have Savio Vega run in to go after Austin for the DQ.

Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what a boring match. Austin was desperate for a change here and thankfully he would get rid of Ted DiBiase very soon after this. The Vega feud was his first good stuff but it would take a lot longer for Mero to really get anywhere. The match was really just long and that doesn’t make it interesting.

Mero and Vega stare at each other.

Video on Ahmed Johnson on the Kuwait tour where he won a tournament.

Video on Ultimate Warrior’s comic book debuting, meaning we get to hear Vince say “destrucity”.

Savio Vega vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Ted DiBiase sits in on commentary and can’t wait to see Savio turned into his chauffeur when Austin beats him on Sunday. Vega hammers away to start as the announcers ignore what’s in the ring to recap Austin vs. Vega on Sunday. A hiptoss puts Kid down and a running spinwheel kick in the corner puts Kid on the floor.

We hit the chinlock back inside until DiBiase offers a distraction with the hat. Apparently that’s enough for Kid to come back, including a clothesline and top rope splash for two. Kid gets two off a spinning kick of his own and they slowly slug it out as this just won’t end. Savio’s belly to back gets two but he gets kicked down yet again. A top rope splash misses though and Savio grabs a rollup for the pin.

Rating: D. Just horrible here again as this is the last show of a taping and that makes for some of the worst wrestling you can see on a weekly basis. There’s no energy here and I’m not even sure how to criticize it. The match was terribly dull but somehow it might have been better than the first one.

Post match Austin comes in and lays out Vega before tying him up so DiBiase can put the chauffeur’s hat on. I can always go for some goof humiliation involving forced clothing.

We recap the Tag Team Title change and the worthless Phineas Loves Sunny story. If nothing else it’s a way to look at Sunny in the white top and skirt. Sunny did however get Phineas to sign a contract to make her the manager, which set up a match against the Smoking Gunns on this Sunday’s pre-show.

Undertaker comes out of a casket for a chat, saying Goldust will be in the casket on Sunday. Cue Mankind to lock Undertaker in the casket as Goldust goes after Paul Bearer. The casket is turned over and beaten with a pole.

British Bulldog vs. Jake Roberts

Before we’re ready to go, Jim Cornette busts out a restraining order against Shawn Michaels on behalf of Diana Smith. This brings out Gorilla Monsoon (King: “You know what they mean: Gorilla Monsoon happens.”) to eject Diana, making the whole thing a waste of time. That means Shawn can come out and watch because Michaels vs. Bulldog needs all the help it can get.

We take an early break and come back with Jake working on the arm as Shawn denies all the allegations against him. Bulldog slowly stomps away as the announcers try to sell this stupid story. It’s off to a leglock because this match needs to be even slower than it’s been so far. The slow leg stomping continues and BACK TO THE LEGLOCK. Jake fights up and tries a DDT but Bulldog reverses into a half crab.

Lawler talks about Shawn being in Playgirl Magazine as we hit the leglock for the third straight time. King: “Did you show as much as you did to Diana?” It’s off to the half crab AGAIN and here’s Diana. We actually take a freaking break and come back with Diana yelling at Shawn. Water is thrown (hitting Shawn in the shoulder) so Michaels punches Cornette and gets jumped from behind and we’re off with no finish. The post break stuff was about thirty seconds long.

Rating: F. Holy cheese steaks served on a book of New York Times crossword puzzles this was a horrible match. This went on and on with that stupid leglock and somehow I’m supposed to want to pay to see Bulldog on Sunday? Terrible stuff here and Jake looked like he has no desire to be out there whatsoever.

Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This would have been better if a massive electrical storm went through the city and knocked out all the power, forcing them to wrestle in the dark. The worst part about this is that there are a lot of talented people on this show. Every one of the six people who actually wrestled are incredibly talented and should be able to put on a great match. The three who appeared but didn’t wrestle were Undertaker, Mankind and Shawn Michaels. That is inexcusable and this show was nothing short of a disaster. No exaggeration: this might actually be the worst episode of Raw I’ve ever seen.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 13, 1996
Location: Sioux City Auditorium, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Maybe this one can pick things up a bit. Last week’s show was about as uninteresting as you can get as we head towards In Your House VIII and the showdown of Shawn Michaels vs. British Bulldog. The story behind the match is Shawn allegedly sleeping with Bulldog’s wife, which is hardly something that’s going to make me want to pay for a show. Let’s get to it.

Zip vs. Ahmed Johnson

Before the match, Sunny rubs oil on Ahmed’s chest until he calls her trash. Ahmed flips him over to start and scores with some clotheslines but has to stop and yell at Sunny. The BodyDonnas switch places despite THE FACT THAT THEY DON’T LOOK THAT MUCH ALIKE! An electric chair plants Skip and the second switch is caught, allowing Ahmed to finish Skip with the Pearl River Plunge. So Ahmed just basically squashed the Tag Team Champions without blinking an eye.

The Ultimate Warrior, without face paint and talking in a normal voice, shills Warrior University. No, this isn’t an angle and no, no one ever graduated from the school.

Duke Droese vs. Vader

Jim Cornette is on commentary as Vader swats at Duke’s head. Duke actually comes back with a big boot and a crossbody to put both guys on the floor. Back from a break with Vader running him over to restore balance to the universe. A splash sets up a chinlock of all things as this is going WAY longer than it should. Vader gets caught in a jawbreaker for the escape, followed by some clotheslines and a dropkick to put Vader down. A top rope splash misses though and it’s the Vader Bomb to give, well, Vader of course, the pin.

Rating: D. Who in the world thought Vader needed to give up that much offense? Just like last week’s tag match, it’s very clear that this company’s talent pool is just gone right now. Other than the top of the card, the whole company feels like whoever they can throw out there for the sake of filling in the card.

Here are Paul Bearer and Undertaker with the gold casket. See what I mean? The best they can do is Goldust vs. Undertaker. How thrilling is that really supposed to be? Bearer talks about Goldust loving the spotlight so one will shine on the casket after In Your House. Cue Goldust and Marlena to interrupt so Undertaker removes his hat. Goldust hits on Undertaker (“What is that scent? Embalming fluid #5?”) and quotes movie lines to suggest he’d enjoy being in a casket with Undertaker.

Mankind comes in and Claws Undertaker, allowing Goldust to grind on Undertaker’s body and then lick his face. That means choking from the Dead Man as this is just WAY over the top and horrible, meaning Goldust was almost forced to change. He’s not bizarre anymore but rather molesting people against their will.

Justin Hawk Bradshaw vs. Aldo Montoya

Of note during the opening: Vince plugs a house show in Madison Square Garden, which would wind up being the Curtain Call. Aldo tries his jobber offense to start as Bradshaw’s manager Uncle Zebekiah (Zeb Colter) gets on commentary to ask why Bradshaw isn’t getting a shot at Shawn Michaels. A good looking gutwrench powerbomb plants Aldo and it’s off to the bearhug. Aldo makes his quick comeback with a missile dropkick but the Clothesline puts Montoya away without too much effort.

Rating: D. Bradshaw of course had talent (why he’s not in the Hall of Fame isn’t clear) but the evil cowboy thing would have been old five years prior to this. There’s nothing wrong with getting your foot in the door though and the potential was there, which is more important than anything else.

We get a serious video from Vince, basically saying that the tour of Kuwait was this big show of freedom. During the trip, British Bulldog attacked Shawn Michaels on a beach and tried to drown him. Ok then.

Shawn Michaels vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

Non-title and I believe for the first time ever. If nothing else the first time on TV. An early armdrag lets HHH pose a bit and Shawn is already somewhat frustrated. We take a break and come back with Shawn tripping him down and walking over HHH’s back to get some of the heat back. HHH is down on the floor so Shawn takes a quick jog over to the announcers’ table to stare at Lawler and HHH’s latest valet.

A headlock brings HHH back in over the top (think Orton’s DDT) so the referee demands a clean break. Ever the good guy, Shawn lets HHH drop face first onto the mat in a funny bit. HHH ducks a charge and sends Shawn onto the top, setting up a punt out to the floor. Cue Mr. Perfect to watch as we take a second break.

Back again with HHH in control and hammering away in the corner with a fire he’s never shown to this point. We hit the chinlock as Lawler accidentally refers to Mr. Perfect as Hennig. A clothesline cuts off Shawn’s comeback bid and HHH unloads on him in the corner. We take a ridiculous third break and come back with Shawn in a pretty lazy looking chinlock.

The champ fights up with some right hands in the corner, followed by a catapult into the corner for a big crash. Shawn’s top rope elbow gets two so HHH actually tries a powerbomb, which is countered into a hurricanrana into a sunset flip for two on Michaels in a hot sequence. The Pedigree is countered and the superkick finishes clean.

Rating: B. Well of course these two are awesome together. Unfortunately this would be it for HHH’s time near the top of the card for a LONG time due to the Curtain Call this coming weekend. Shawn might not have been the biggest ratings draw in the world but sweet goodness he could wrestle a heck of a match.

British Bulldog isn’t worried about Shawn being on commentary for his match next week.

Overall Rating: C. The main event pretty easily bails this one out as Shawn did so often around this time. What brings it right back down again is the idea of watching British Bulldog vs. Shawn for the title on pay per view as it just sucks the energy and excitement out of me. The rest of the show was your usual 1996 mess but that main event was solid.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: May 6, 1996
Location: Sioux City Auditorium, Sioux City, Iowa
Attendance: 4,000
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

Again, for reasons that I can’t understand, I can’t get away from 1996. We’re just into the Shawn Michaels era now but more importantly, Razor Ramon and Diesel are gone (save for a few house show appearances), meaning everything is about to change in a bad way for the company. Let’s get to it.

This show is dedicated to Ray Stevens, who was often called one of the best of all time.

A woman in shadow, labeled as the ex-wife of a professional wrestler, says Shawn Michaels ruined her life. Details to come.

Marc Mero vs. 1-2-3 Kid

Hunter Hearst Helmsley (feuding with Mero) is on commentary. The Kid starts waving his arms to show off his martial arts abilities but charges into a raised boot in the corner. A running dropkick puts the Kid on the floor and gets a better reaction than almost anything from the February tapings.

Back in and Kid starts firing off some kicks in the corner as HHH talks about Sable being beneath him. A chinlock keeps Mero down but he fights up and twists Kid’s knee around to take over for all of one full second. We hit a sleeper (so another chinlock) to put Mero on the mat again and Kid throws his foot on the ropes like a heel should.

Back from a break with Mero fighting back and hitting a top rope ax handle. With Vince’s manic offense actually working for a change, Mero sends Kid outside for a big running flip dive over the top. Helmsley sends Kid back inside and I stop to wonder how they didn’t put him with DiBiase. That just kind of fits you know? With the referee yelling at…..someone, Helmsley crotches Mero but a superplex is countered into a crossbody to pin the Kid.

Rating: B-. This got a lot better after the break and helped set up Mero vs. Helmsley at the next pay per view. The Kid had his energy going here but it’s still really hard for me to buy him as a heel against anyone other than the smaller opponents. This was the kind of longer match you didn’t get enough on Raw at the time and it worked.

We see Savio Vega attacking Steve Austin to set up a Caribbean strap match. DiBiase accepted for Austin but if Savio loses, he’s DiBiase’s chauffeur.

The woman in shadow claims she slept with Shawn. Her ex-husband was on the road a lot and one day Shawn came over and one thing lead to another. Naturally Shawn was the best she ever had. The husband wrestled Shawn soon after this so there’s a short list of possibilities for who this is supposed to be. Now Shawn is doing it to another marriage and the shadow woman won’t let it happen.

British Bulldog vs. Fatu

Fatu shrugs off Bulldog’s early offense and shakes his rather large hips. Bulldog tries a test of strength but gets headbutted down as he’s messed up due to the Shawn accusations. A clothesline puts Fatu on the floor and it’s time for Bulldog to do Shawn’s poses. Back in and it’s time for the slow stomping as Vince reads house show ads.

Some of Fatu’s many (Known elsewhere as the Samoan Gangster Party but unnamed here. You would know them better as Samu and Rosey.) relatives come out to watch as we take a break. Back with Bulldog kicking Fatu low to send him outside but getting caught in a Diamond Cutter (called a bulldog by Vince, which is actually true). Fatu makes the mistake of going after Cornette though and the powerslam is enough to give Bulldog the pin.

Rating: C. Totally watchable match here and that’s kind of surprising given who Bulldog was against. It’s a good idea to have Bulldog go over some midcarders instead of having the same matches against main eventers that he’s had time after time. Not bad here, especially with the lame story Bulldog is stuck in.

Fatu tells the Samoans that the WWF is his family.

Tekno Team 2000 vs. BodyDonnas

Non-title. Travis and Skip get things going as I try to figure out how I wound up watching match between guys named Travis and Skip. A double hiptoss gets two on Skip and Harvey Wippleman is here to take notes on refereeing. Travis starts working on Zip’s arm as Lawler makes jokes about the yet to be named Viagra.

We take a break and come back with Travis eating a double flapjack as we go to the New Rockers, who will be getting a title shot in the future. I know there are a lot of teams around this point but this should be all the proof you need that quantity doesn’t mean quality. Skip hammers on Travis as this just keeps going. Zip misses a top rope back elbow and everything breaks down. Lawler talks about gas prices being up 14% in the last three months as Skip hits a top rope hurricanrana, setting up a top rope ax handle to the ribs for the pin on Troy.

Rating: D. Like I said, Tekno Team 2000 just wasn’t any good and the BodyDonnas weren’t much better. It’s such a dark time for the division and tag wrestling in general and this wasn’t exactly out of the norm. Sunny didn’t help things either as she overshadowed everyone in the division with pure natural charisma.

Jim Cornette and Vader aren’t worried about Yokozuna. Vader is ready for Duke Droese.

Owen Hart vs. Undertaker

Goldust, Undertaker’s upcoming opponent, is on commentary until he’s told that their match is a casket match. Storming off ensues but he runs into Undertaker during his entrance and runs right back in a cute bit. The freaking out on commentary is pretty amusing. Owen hides on the floor to start before slugging away to as much avail as you would expect. Choking slows Hart down but Goldust gets up as we take a break.

Back with Goldust stalking Paul Bearer as Owen works on the leg. The stalking turns into trying to take Paul’s shirt off, sending the manager running up the aisle. More leg work is followed by a missile dropkick but the Sharpshooter takes WAY too long. The chokeshove over the top has Owen in trouble…..and Goldust grabs the back of Hart’s tights. Back in and the Tombstone wraps this up.

Rating: D+. Nothing to see here other than Goldust doing his wackiness outside. There comes a point where he stops being bizarre and stars being…..well whatever he was here, which has got to be offensive in some way. The Undertaker vs. Goldust feud isn’t much better but for some reason it’s getting a pay per view match.

A casket is wheeled out to send Goldust running as the show ends.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s no surprise why I took so much time finally getting done with this show. There’s almost no spark to it and the biggest angle on the show was setting up Goldust vs. Undertaker for reasons that aren’t entirely clear. I’ve seen far worse but Shawn vs. Bulldog as the top feud in the promotion just isn’t going to work no matter what.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2017/01/27/kbs-reviews-now-available-in-paperback/

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 30, 2017
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves

We’re past the Royal Rumble and that means we have about five weeks before Fastlane, which is getting close to the Wrestlemania season. The big story for Raw last night was Roman Reigns having the World Title won until Braun Strowman cost him the title, likely setting up something down the line. Other than that we have Stephanie McMahon confronting Seth Rollins for calling HHH out at Takeover: San Antonio. Let’s get to it.

Here’s a ticked off Kevin Owens and a less ticked off Chris Jericho to start things off. Owens is happy to have proven Mick Foley wrong when he beat Roman Reigns because he is the best, the guy and the one. Owens thanks Jericho for having the guts to get in the cage last night and brings up Jericho breaking the record for the most time spent in the Royal Rumble.

Jericho has spent nearly five hours in the match (Over nine Rumbles, which breaks HHH’s record of just over four hours in the same number of Rumbles. That’s VERY impressive.) and of course Chris gets in some bragging. The only reason he didn’t win was a terrible case of vertigo….and here’s Braun Strowman to cut them off.

Braun cuts Owens off and says he did what he did because he can’t stand Roman but now he wants the title shot that Owens promises. Kevin backs off so Braun shows us a video of Owens promising him the shot. Strowman wants his chance tonight but here’s Mick, in a full green plaid suit, to interrupt. Foley doesn’t seem to care about Owens being banged up and makes the match for later.

Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho

Non-title. They fight over a wristlock to start until Sami takes over with those armdrags. If it works for Ricky Steamboat, it can work for Sami. They head outside with Sami scoring with a dropkick and the moonsault off the barricade takes us to a break. Back with Jericho getting two off an enziguri and a top rope hurricanrana, only to dive into the Blue Thunder Bomb for two. Jericho bails to the floor for a chase scene, capped off by a tornado DDT back inside. The Helluva Kick is countered into the Walls but Sami is right next to the ropes. The exploder sets up the Helluva Kick to give Sami the clean pin at 11:49.

Rating: C+. Not bad here and I’m all for Sami getting a pay per view title match. You can also go with the fact that Jericho was in the Rumble for an hour last night to explain the loss away a bit. The rematch should be fun too and if it means Sami getting a title, there’s nothing bad to be seen.

Bayley wants Cesaro and Sheamus to hug before their six person tag later tonight. Charlotte, Anderson and Gallows come in to laugh a bit.

Long video on Seth Rollins vs. HHH. They cover pretty much everything here, save for WHY HHH DID THIS FIVE MONTHS AGO that is.

Owens tries to talk Stephanie out of the title match but she has to deal with Rollins first.

Tony Nese vs. Mustafa Ali

Nese runs him over to start and hits a hard crossface forearm to the face. They trade clotheslines and it’s Ali hitting a rolling neckbreaker for two. Nese breaks up the inverted 450 and Ali takes a NASTY looking crash. Thankfully he’s ok enough to take the running knee to the face to give Tony the pin at 3:52.

Rating: C. Nese is starting to grow on me and would be a solid choice for a midcard heel in the division. The posing makes him look like a huge heel and that’s exactly what the division needs right now. Not exactly a heel, but more characters with basic development. Ali is the same as he’s a solid hand in the ring and a few tweaks could make him quite valuable.

Post match Austin Aries asks Nese about his lack of charisma but Tony says he doesn’t have to answer his critics.

Here’s Rollins to call out Stephanie for a little change of pace. Rollins knows Stephanie is disappointed that he called her out but she disappoints her husband every night. Stephanie laughs off the insults (of course) and we hear about how she wants HHH to stay away because Rollins is bringing the dark side out of her husband.

Rollins hasn’t been a champion since Money in the Bank and missed Wrestlemania last year because of injury so the Authority, and Stephanie in particular, deserves an apology. Rollins apologizes for exposing HHH as a gutless snake that he is because HHH won’t face him like a man.

HHH is scared because he knows Rollins is the greatest threat to HHH’s legacy ever. Seth goes a step further and suggests that Stephanie knows it too but she says Seth disgusts him. That earns a threat of Rollins invading the next Board of Directors meetings or showing up at Stephanie’s front door. “What’s going to happen when one of your kids answers the front door Steph?” Stephanie says she lied: HHH is on his way tonight. Seth actually saved a lot of face here and that’s the best possible outcome for him.

Bayley/Cesaro/Sheamus vs. Charlotte/Anderson and Gallows

The guys start and they’re on the floor for a break less than a minute in. Back with Anderson dropping a knee until Cesaro dives over for the hot tag to Sheamus. House is quickly cleaned until Charlotte breaks up the ten forearms. That goes as well as you would expect so it’s an assisted White Noise for two on Gallows. It’s off to the women and a quick Bayley to Belly puts Charlotte away at 7:30.

Rating: C-. This was nothing for the most part but at least it sets up Bayley vs. Charlotte II, despite Charlotte winning clean last night. They couldn’t do a simple hook of the tights or something to give us a reason to have another match? Anyway, this match showed how badly we need a few more tag teams because this feud is nothing.

Stephanie yells at Foley for making the title match for tonight but Mick doesn’t buy her saying that HHH’s music playing last week was just a mistake. Foley hints that HHH won’t be showing up so Stephanie glares him out the door.

Here’s Neville to celebrate his Cruiserweight Title win. The title is his crown but the fans never cared about him no matter what he did. Cue former champion Rich Swann to say he can’t listen to this garbage any longer. Neville is great and Swann respects him for it but Neville demands that Swann kneel before the king. The fight is on and Neville is sent running.

Sasha Banks vents to Bayley about losing and agrees to fight Nia Jax again.

We look at Goldberg eliminating Brock Lesnar last night.

Owens vents about Foley but Jericho implies he won’t have his back tonight.

Universal Title: Kevin Owens vs. Braun Strowman

Owens is defending and I’ll put the over/under for Reigns interfering at four minutes. Jericho is on commentary and for some reason, Strowman goes over and chokeslams him through the table. Owens bails to the floor at the bell and some right hands have no effect. A dropkick puts Strowman on the floor but he runs Kevin over with ease back inside.

Kevin is knocked into the barricade and this is one sided so far. The way too long charge sends Strowman head first into the post though and Owens adds a Cannonball against the barricade. A backsplash and frog splash give Owens two but Strowman comes back with the powerslam. Cue Reigns though and it’s a DQ at 4:40.

Rating: D+. Yeah what else were you expecting here? This might as well have been a big countdown to Reigns coming out and going after Strowman, which is probably one of the top matches at Fastlane. It’s not the most interesting match in the world but if Strowman goes over, it could mean something.

Roman Superman Punches and spears Strowman but Braun pops up.

Brock Lesnar arrives.

Here are Lesnar and Paul Heyman for a chat. Heyman talks about how every legend has an asterisk next to his name because there’s always an exception. Andre the Giant was undefeated for fifteen years until Hulk Hogan beat him. Ronda Rousey was undefeated until she met Holly Holm. People like John Cena and Kurt Angle have amazing legacies but BROCK LESNAR. That leaves Goldberg as the argument against Brock and that must be eradicated. We get to the point: Lesnar wants one more fight with Goldberg at Wrestlemania.

Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax

Banks is still banged up coming in and Nia goes right after the bad leg. The knee is sent into the apron and post before we hit a leglock. The referee stops the match at 2:08.

Nia won’t let go of the hold so Bayley comes in for the save.

Rusev/Jinder Mahal vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass

Texas Tornado rules and we’re ready to go after Enzo and Cass’ big speech. It’s a big brawl to start and we hit the early break. Back with Cass getting double teamed because Enzo is, again, beaten down on the floor. Enzo’s high crossbody is broken up and it’s Amore getting beaten down for a change. Cass fights back and makes the save as Enzo pulls Mahal to the floor. A big boot drops Rusev and the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka is enough for the pin at 9:40.

Rating: D+. We’re somehow to the point where Enzo Amore just pinned Rusev. Let that one sink in for a minute. Anyway, these guys are firmly to the point where they’re fighting because they’ve been fighting and there isn’t much of a story to it anymore. Cass needs to beat Rusev in the singles match and move on, maybe towards the belts finally.

HHH arrives.

Sneak peak of WWE 24.

Goldberg will be here next week.

Here’s HHH to talk about Rollins. HHH goes over his history with Rollins and takes credit for most of his success. With HHH by his side, Rollins would become the man and the face of the WWE. All Rollins had to do was hold up his end of the bargain but then his knee gave out, which was like spitting in HHH’s face.

Rollins was a failure when he came back because he didn’t take any responsibility for everything falling apart. HHH is the one that deserves an apology because Rollins tried to blame him for everything being a big mess. The reason HHH doesn’t come out here anymore is because he doesn’t want to be the guy that ends careers anymore.

Every day he puts on this suit and ties this tie while trying to be a creator. Every day he tries to create the next Seth Friggin Rollins but now he’s done trying. The jacket and tie come off, drawing a HHH chant. HHH calls Rollins out so here we go….but SAMOA JOE makes his debut and lays Rollins out from behind. Joe annihilates Rollins as HHH leaves. The fans are very happy with Joe as he Koquina Clutches Rollins out to end the show. OUTSTANDING debut here as Joe looks like a killer.

Overall Rating: D+. Other than a few moments here and there (mainly the highlight packages), you wouldn’t know that the Royal Rumble was yesterday. This felt like a long, mostly uninteresting show but at least we’re starting to see Wrestlemania. I mean, Lesnar vs. Goldberg isn’t the most interesting thing in the world and I have a bad feeling it’s going to be for the title but at least it’s something. Joe was the big story tonight though and that’s a very good thing.

Results

Sami Zayn b. Chris Jericho – Helluva Kick

Tony Nese b. Mustafa Ali – Running knee

Bayley/Cesaro/Sheamus b. Charlotte/Anderson and Gallows – Bayley to Belly to Charlotte

Braun Strowman b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered

Nia Jax b. Sasha Banks via referee stoppage

Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Rusev/Jinder Mahal – Bada Boom Shaka Lacka to Rusev

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up the History of the WWE’s Big Four Pay Per Views, now in PAPERBACK. Check out the information here:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: August 26, 2002
Location: Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

We’re past Summerslam and that means a lot of things have changed. To begin with, Shawn Michaels shocked the world and beat HHH in one heck of a street fight. Other than that, Brock Lesnar is the new WWE World Champion but is exclusively signed to Smackdown. It’s not clear if that’s going to mean we need something new around here for HHH to likely dominate. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Eric Bischoff to open up “his” Monday Night Raw. Tonight we’re going to combine the Hardcore Title with the Intercontinental Title which is probably best for everyone. On top of that, we’re going to have a special Lifetime Achievement Award for a member of the WWE Hall of Fame.

As for right now though, Bischoff brings out Brock and Heyman for a chat. The fans are happy when Lesnar comes out but cut Paul off with the ROCKY chants. Heyman finally gets to talk and says every legacy before Lesnar’s doesn’t matter, including Hulk Hogan and Bruno Sammartino. Enough of that though as Paul goes into a glorious rant about how no one believed him when he promised that Lesnar would do all this. Lesnar brags about being twenty five years old….and here’s HHH to Shawn’s music because THIS NEEDS TO BE ABOUT HIM.

That’s the last time you’ll ever hear Shawn’s horrible music because HHH has gotten rid of him for good. As for right now though, Lesnar only has that title because HHH softened Rock up for him. HHH wants a title shot but here’s Undertaker to cut them both off. Undertaker wants the first shot at the young pup and the fight is on. Lesnar gets knocked to the floor but HHH is allowed to leave mostly unscathed. WAY too much non-Lesnar here but we all need more HHH in our lives.

Booker T. vs. Christian

After what looks like a quickly fixed lighting problem, Booker hammers away until a reverse DDT onto the knee puts him down. A chinlock sets up some choking until Booker pops up with the spinning sunset flip out of the corner for two. Goldust and Lance Storm get in a fight (of course) and it’s the scissors kick for the pin on Christian.

Rating: C-. Just a quick match here to keep the Tag Team Title feud going, though I’m not sure what they’re waiting on at this point. It’s not like the Un-Americans are all that interesting as heels or champions so just let them lose the belts already to an interesting team. Booker is getting hotter and hotter every week, which almost guarantees his imminent destruction.

The WWE was in New York for the Smackdown Your Vote campaign.

Test has plans for the American flag tonight. This isn’t likely to end well.

Bubba Ray Dudley/Spike Dudley vs. Christopher Nowinski/William Regal

The villains have Molly Holly in their corner due to one heck of a horribly acted segment between Chris and Molly. Bubba side slams Chris to start and Spike adds a top rope stomp (that always looks so painful) for no cover. Chris pops back up and distracts the referee so Spike can get crotched against the post. The beating doesn’t last long as Spike gets up and tags Bubba so everything can break down. What’s Up hits Molly and it’s table time. That goes nowhere so it’s the Bubba Bomb to end Regal.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here as I didn’t know this story was still going. Are we really supposed to be interested in Nowinski wanting to sleep with Molly? It’s the start of a character at least but Nowinski really isn’t the most interesting guy in the world no matter what. At least it’s better than making fun of Molly’s weight.

Post match Nowinski saves Molly from the table.

Bischoff tells the guest to come out when Eric says.

Molly thanks Chris and offers to help him if need be.

Apparently that would be after the break as Bischoff brings out Jimmy Snuka. Highlight package, Bischoff cuts him off, 3 Minute Warning, JR is aghast. Chris Jericho comes out and puts Snuka in the Walls of Jericho and tells the has been to get out of the ring. Who would guess that we would see something similar at Wrestlemania one day? Jericho shows us some clips from last night and claims that he made Flair tap out. Since Fozzy’s concert was cut off last week, Jericho belts out his own version of New York, New York.

Chris Jericho vs. Jeff Hardy

Jericho knocks him around to start until Jeff gets in a dropkick of his own to take over for a bit. Lawler talks about a tuxedo vs. evening gown match later tonight as Jeff sends Jericho outside for a big dive off the top. The dive off the apron is countered into a powerslam (cool looking spot) and Jericho starts choking with Jeff’s shirt.

A missed dropkick has Jeff in even more trouble (it might help if he did something other than throw dropkicks) so we hit the abdominal stretch. This isn’t exactly burning up the mat so far. When the hold goes nowhere, Jericho heads up top but gets dropkicked out of the air. Even that’s not enough to pop the crowd very strongly but the Whisper in the Wind does a bit better. The Swanton is good for two as Jericho grabs the rope. Jericho grabs the Walls and Hardy grabs the rope, only to have Jericho refuse to break for the DQ.

Rating: D+. These two are capable of doing so much better and I’m not sure why they were this dull here. I don’t know if Jeff is just done or if Jericho’s stuff with the submissions isn’t working but I don’t know how you go from good last night to a near disaster just a day later. Maybe it’s a bad night but this was a big disappointment.

Brock doesn’t care who wins tonight.

Test wants to burn the American flag. After a break, here are the Un-Americans with Test carrying a blowtorch. Kane’s pyro goes off but Booker and Goldust make the save instead. The Texans are cleaned out and it’s Kane (with a new half mask) coming in for the real save. So we owe one to Spain. Make that two as we get a Kane-A-Rooni.

Intercontinental Title: Tommy Dreamer vs. Rob Van Dam

Officially this is a unification match but the Hardcore Title is done no matter what so I guess it’s not on the line. This is however under hardcore rules so Dreamer has a bit of an advantage. They shake hands and we’re ready to go. We actually start with some technical stuff until Dreamer dropkicks him in the face to take over.

It’s time for the first kendo stick and a White Russian legsweep gets two on Rob. They head outside with a ladder being bridged between the ring and the barricade. Dreamer hits a quick spinebuster but can’t suplex Rob onto the ladder. Instead Van Dam shoves him face first into the ladder, setting up a kick off the ladder for two.

Back in and the DDT gives Dreamer two, followed by a middle rope elbow which only hits the ladder. Rolling Thunder onto the ladder onto Dreamer and Rob crotches him for a bonus. The dropkick drives a chair into Dreamer’s face and the Five Star gets rid of the Hardcore Title for good.

Rating: C+. Not a bad match actually and it’s nice to see the division go out on a nice note instead of 18 people who never do anything else hitting a single weapon shot for a pin. I’m no Dreamer fan but it’s cool to see him having a good match in his element like this, even if he had no chance of winning.

Lillian Garcia vs. Howard Finkel

The winner is permanent ring announcer. It’s a tuxedo/evening gown match, meaning whoever is stripped first loses. Stacy Keibler comes out to keep an eye on Trish so Howard says she’s interfering with something in his trousers. JR: “Howard may get aroused!” Thankfully the fans boo this out of the building until Trish and Stacy object to Howard insulting blondes. Fink is stripped and Lillian wins. As you might expect, that just makes the fans hate the match even more.

HHH vs. Undertaker

The winner gets Lesnar at some point in the future. HHH jumps Undertaker as he gets off the bike and we’re ready to go in a hurry. They get inside with an early Pedigree attempt being blocked so Undertaker can hammer away in the corner. Old School gets two but HHH hits a jumping knee to the head. The very slow beating continues and we hit a HHH chinlock.

That shifts over to a sleeper in case we were going too fast for you. Back up and Undertaker hits him in the head a few times but the ref gets bumped. One of the worst big boots I’ve ever see (there was a good six inches between the boot and HHH’s face) sets up a chokeslam but here’s Lesnar for a distraction. HHH gets in a low blow and, after a belt shot from Lesnar, the pin and the title shot.

Rating: D. Boring match of course but that’s what you have to expect when two older guys get to be the focus instead of the new World Champion. This was really weak stuff from two guys who should be more than capable of doing something better. Lesnar felt like an afterthought here, which has been the case all night long.

Oh look: it’s Stephanie, who is all happy because she’s never allowed to lose any face. Lesnar is officially signed to Smackdown and the title is coming with him. So now she can change the rules of the Brand Split. Stephanie to Eric: “How do my peaches taste now?”

Overall Rating: D-. I don’t remember the last time I’ve seen two shows on back to back nights be such polar opposites. Last night was all about energy and entertainment while tonight was all about HHH vs. Undertaker and Stephanie vs. Bischoff with Lesnar being little more than a plot device in either. The best thing on the show was Dreamer vs. Van Dam while the rest was spent on stuff they knew wasn’t going to be interesting while having almost no focus on anything that mattered. In other words, it’s back to what Raw has been doing in recent months.

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