Monday Night Raw Date: July 22, 1996
Location: Key Arena, Seattle, Washington
Attendance: 6,755
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re past the dreadful and worthless In Your House IX and nothing has changed. Vader pinned Shawn Michaels to become the de facto #1 contender and thankfully we’re about a month away from Summerslam so maybe things can pick up a little bit. Things have been so boring around here lately that I’m ready for anything new. Let’s get to it.
We open with a look at Seattle for a change of pace.
This arena is HUGE compared to the tiny places we’ve been in lately and it really makes things feel better.
Tag Team Titles: Shawn Michaels/Ahmed Johnson vs. Smoking Gunns
The Gunns are defending and it happens to be Shawn’s birthday so Sunny has a cake. She offers him a piece on the way to the ring (oh come on that’s too easy) but the Gunns jump the challengers from behind. Billy eats Sweet Chin Music (I’d prefer cake) and Ahmed shoves the cake into Sunny’s face. Shawn of course licks some of it off and there’s no match.
Post break, Gorilla Monsoon says the Gunns will defend the titles later tonight or they’ll be stripped of the titles.
The Goon vs. Marc Mero
What did Mero do to deserve these horrible matches? Steve Austin sits in on commentary to spice things up a little bit. Goon tries a hip check and various other hockey moves and they’re uh, bad. A snapmare sets up a chinlock on Mero as Jake Roberts calls in so Lawler can make alcoholism jokes. Goon kicks him in the face as the call ends. Mero hooks a horrible looking victory roll for two as Austin goes on an anti-Lex Luger rant for some reason. Oh and he’ll be ready to beat up Undertaker next week.
Goon grabs a chinlock as the alcohol jokes continue. At least it allows me to notice Goon’s ice skate shaped boots, a very nice touch. They head outside where Goon slips on the icing (oh geez) and hip checks the steps. Mero takes him down again with a flip dive, followed by a slingshot legdrop for the pin.
Rating: D-. Another horrible match here as Goon was a wrestling hockey player. I’ll give them something for having so many nice details but at the end of the day they’re putting this much effort into such a stupid gimmick. The crowd popped a lot stronger at the end and that’s a good sign, but can we PLEASE find a more interesting match already?
Shawn and Ahmed say they’ll win tonight.
Bob Backlund campaigns for President.
Attorney Clarence Mason lobbies Monsoon to let an ex-con back into the WWF. You can see Crush from behind as he stands next to them so it’s not really a secret.
Mankind vs. Freddie Joe Floyd
Freddie actually kicks Mankind outside to start but Mankind throws him into the ropes and pulls his own hair out. A discus clothesline sets up some choking in the corner and I’ll let you guess who is in control. Floyd is caught in the Tree of Woe but he avoids the running knee. Mankind eats a good looking top rope back elbow to the jaw but the Mandible Claw ends Floyd in a hurry.
Rating: C-. Actually not bad here, especially for a squash. Floyd was an energetic and talented guy who had a lot of success elsewhere (as Tracy Smothers in case you’re not familiar) so it was no surprise that he was one of the better options for this batch of losers who are running around the company at the moment.
Goldust vs. Barry Horowitz
Brian Pillman is on commentary and promises to say the seven words you can’t say on television. If nothing else we get the rocking Hava Nagila theme for Horowitz. Before we’re ready to go, we hear from Marc Mero about giving Vader cat scratch fever next week. Oh and he’s feuding with Goldust to make this actually matter. Brian makes lesbian jokes about Marlena and Sable as Goldust slowly beats on Barry. The Curtain Call wraps this up in a hurry.
Sunny and the Smoking Gunns are livid but know they’ll keep the belts.
Jim Cornette announces Vader as #1 contender for Shawn’s title at Summerslam. He’s going to take Shawn’s lunch money you see.
Tag Team Titles: Smoking Gunns vs. Shawn Michaels/Ahmed Johnson
The Gunns are defending again as that actually hasn’t changed in the last half hour. It’s a brawl to start with the challengers cleaning house and sending the Gunns outside. We settle down to Shawn punching Billy to officially start with Gunn quickly being knocked outside. Ahmed comes in to work on the arm as Billy begs off faster than someone asked to watch a Billy Gunn tape. Vince calls the team of Ahmed and Sid a threesome and I’m leaving that one alone.
A release powerslam (worse than it sounds) sends Billy flying and it’s back to Shawn for two off an ax handle. Bart finally cheats by breaking up a flying headscissors to put Shawn in trouble. The beatdown continues and of course the referee misses the tag off to Ahmed. Back from a break with Billy sending Shawn into the buckle for a near fall before slapping on a chinlock. That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Ahmed to clean house. Bart low bridges him though and here’s the debuting Faarooq (in full blue gladiator attire) to destroy Ahmed for the DQ.
Rating: C. This was already a huge improvement over everything we’ve seen in recent weeks and even then it’s still not all that great. It just helps when they have so much energy in a match like this, despite the screwy finish that set up something more down the line. At least this can get Shawn out of this story and ready to fight Vader.
The beating continues with Lawler actually mentioning Ron Simmons. Faarooq pledges his loyalty to Sunny to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. Bad Goon match aside, this was much better than the previous weeks with some passable wrestling and a hot crowd. The fact that we’re coming up on Summerslam helps too as we’re actually getting ready for a show that matters instead of a mess like In Your House IX. Hopefully things stay warm like this as I can tolerate these shows for a little while at least.
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Monday Night Raw – July 15, 1996: I Need Some Nitro
Monday Night Raw Date: July 15, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
It’s FINALLY time to wrap up this horrible cycle as it’s the go home show for the dreadful In Your House IX. The big story coming out of last week is Sid joining forces with Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson in their fight against Camp Cornette, leading to a main event that serves no purpose other than to set up Summerslam. Let’s get to it.
Sunday’s main event participants almost got in a fight earlier today but were cut off by an opening sequence. You never know when one of those things might save you.
Intercontinental Title: Bart Gunn vs. Ahmed Johnson
It’s going to be a very long night. Ahmed is defending because he was talented enough to get a singles title. Bart is half of the Tag Team Champions and has Sunny as a cowgirl so I’m thinking advantage Gunn. Ahmed starts with the power by throwing Bart over off a hiptoss. A clothesline drops Ahmed and it’s time to stomp a lot. Bart starts working on the arm with some slow cranking and a wrap around the post.
We hit an armbar on the mat before Bart puts on a hammerlock with his feet. The referee finally catches Sunny cheating but Ahmed charges shoulder first into the post. That means a cross armbreaker as Vince goes into a mini tirade about Warrior walking out and not being above the rest of the roster. The arm goes into the buckle and we take a break. Geez Vince we’re already watching this horrible show. What more do you need? Back with Ahmed crotching Bart on top and Ahmed knocking him off the ropes for a big crash. A spinebuster and the Pearl River Plunge retain the title.
Rating: F. You could hear the crowd more and more every time Bart worked on the arm. This was WAY too long and boring with Bart Gunn being as uninteresting of a challenger that they could find. It was a horrible idea all around and I can’t imagine anyone actually thought this would work.
Shawn Michaels says he’ll win tonight and again on Sunday.
Marc Mero vs. T.L. Hopper
So last week we got rid of the wrestling garbageman but tonight we have the wrestling plumber. On the way to the ring, Goldust’s usher runs out and gives Sable a gold package but she throws it down. To celebrate the passing of the torch, we get a look at Hopper pinning Droese over the weekend. Oh and plumbing videos. Why would those be recorded?
Mero takes him down and works on a headlock, followed by a dropkick that made no contact, even with the camera cutting away. We go to a split screen with Camp Cornette celebrating something we can’t hear because the audio doesn’t work. Hopper takes him down for a headscissors on the mat as the crowd is just GONE.
Can you blame them after the last few weeks of this show? I’m sure the empty seats are just a coincidence. There are long stretches of this match going on and there’s just nothing to talk about. They’re just slowly punching each other as Lawler and Vince make every stupid plumber joke you can imagine.
We take a break and the silence when we come back is eerie. Steve Austin joins us and I really don’t care what he says (he’s ready for Mero on Sunday in case you’re wondering) because it’s instantly more interesting than whatever these two are doing in the ring. Lawler starts turning into a sexist as there are even more empty seats. Mero hits a running knee lift and FINALLY finishes him with the big left hand.
Rating: F-. Earlier today I was reading Chris Jericho’s first book and he talked about being offered a chance to join the WWF in one of these roster filling spots with the stupid gimmicks. If Jericho has ever made a better career move I’d love to hear what it was because these things are absolutely death for these people’s careers and it’s no wonder you never hear from them again. I don’t remember being this bored in a match for a long time and that includes Gunn vs. Johnson, which I didn’t think would be topped for years.
Camp Cornette says they’ll win.
Here’s a three minute Undertaker video. Do they just want everyone to switch over to Nitro? I’d be glad to at this point. You know what? That’s not a bad idea. Here’s a match from the same week’s Nitro for the sake of keeping you awake.
Chris Benoit vs. Eddie Guerrero
Think this will be good? Benoit is a Horseman and Eddie is starting to get a pretty solid push which would result in a US Title reign by the end of the year. Even Heenan knows this is going to be a great match. This is one of those combinations that is going to be awesome due to them knowing each other so well. Those are always fun as they don’t have to waste time figuring each other out.
Benoit jumps him to start and pounds Eddie down in the corner. Hard whip into the corner and Benoit goes into Wolverine mode. And let’s talk about Hogan now. Eddie gets draped over the top as Benoit keeps the advantage. Off to the chinlock rather quickly and thankfully it ends quickly. Reverse suplex is countered by Eddie and he sends Benoit to the floor with an armdrag. Big dive off the top takes both guys down.
Back inside Eddie busts out the hilo but doesn’t cover. Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Benoit down again. Eddie vs. Flair at the PPV is announced. Benoit gets a shot in and let’s look at the NWO sign again because the Outsiders are gone. Benoit shows off those steroid muscles with a gorilla press. There’s a camel clutch despite Eddie not really resembling a camel at all. They show the crowd again and this time I can live with it because we’re in a hold. There’s nothing to see here so it’s not as stupid of a move here.
Eddie gets up and fires off a belly to back suplex to break Benoit’s momentum. Benoit is like screw that and hits a hard chop and the snap suplex gets two. Eric loves talking about the fact that he’s taking a motorcycle to Sturgis for the PPV. Liontamer goes on before Jericho had copyrighted it. BIG powerbomb plants Eddie but a delay in the cover lets Eddie get out of it. Benoit works on the back with a backbreaker and then holds Eddie over the knee for a bit to add in some more pain. The guy knew how to hurt people.
Back to the chinlock which I can understand now as they’ve been out there for a bit and probably need some air. Benoit puts him down again and goes up but Guerrero pops up and nails a superplex to put Chris down. Solid stuff so far. Benoit gets up first as both guys were down for a bit. Eddie fires away in the corner and they slug it out. Apparently every big name is in Japan tonight.
Benoit wins the chop fest but Eddie knocks him down in the corner. Eddie tries a hurricanrana which Benoit mostly blocks as he walks to the rope. The hurricanrana hits anyway and it takes both guys over the top to the floor. Malenko pops up for no apparent reason as does Jimmy Hart. Malenko sends Benoit’s head into the post and Eddie just barely beats the count back in. This led to a thirty minute or so war between Malenko and Benoit at the PPV.
Rating: B. This was your typical great match between the two but I’m not huge on the ending. It did however set up a match at the PPV which is all you can ask for. Also you don’t want Benoit losing clean nor do you want Eddie losing before they get to a PPV title match. The decision was really all that they could do and thankfully we got a very good match until that point.
By the time I went into my flash drive, found that show and pulled up the review, this Undertaker video is STILL GOING.
WWF World Title: Billy Gunn vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending as we complete the Smoking Gunns two step. Billy headlocks him to start and a shoulder puts the champ (the WWF World Champ that is) down. We go to a chat with Ahmed who guarantees victory on Sunday. Billy is sent outside so Shawn kisses Sunny and sunset flips Billy for two. The yet to be named Fameasser (minus the jump) gets two on Shawn so he crotches Billy against the post. Sunny offers a distraction so Billy can slam Shawn off the top to take over.
We take a break with Vince shouting “WHAT DOES SEX HAVE TO DO WITH THE WWF CHAMPIONSHIP???” I’ll leave the context out for the sake of preventing boredom. Back with Billy putting on a chinlock and the slow beating continues. Lawler freaks out as Sunny leans over and brags about Billy winning the title. We see Camp Cornette leaving and it’s time for another break. Back again with Shawn nipping up, dropping the elbow and hitting Sweet Chin Music to retain.
Rating: D. Somehow that’s the best thing of the night and I assure you it has nothing to do with Sunny running all over the place. Shawn was much better than anyone else on this show but that’s hardly a great accomplishment. I still don’t know what anyone saw in Billy as a singles run but at least he was better than Bart.
Cornette throws coffee at Shawn to lure he and Ahmed into a beatdown. Sid drives up seconds later, nearly crashes his car, and runs over towards the brawl to end the show.
Overall Rating: Agoobwa. This might be the worst episode of Monday Night Raw that I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen every episode in the show’s history. It’s very clear that they were out of gas at this point and there was no one wanting to put in any effort before we get to the worthless pay per view this weekend. Just a miserable show here which felt like it would never end, as was the case way too often around this time.
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Monday Night Raw – July 8, 1996: The Other Third Man
Monday Night Raw Date: July 8, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re coming up on In Your House IX, which was barely mentioned last week. To be fair though, it’s not like anyone cared about that waste of a show so they might as well just punt for the next two weeks and be done with it. The big deal this week is Ultimate Warrior’s last appearance for nearly 18 years due to him leaving the company (again) before this was taped, meaning he’s making “one last special appearance” here. Let’s get to it.
WWF President Gorilla Monsoon suspends Ultimate Warrior indefinitely for not appearing at house shows. He can come back if he posts an appearance bond to guarantee that he’ll show up as advertised in the future. Oh but he’s here tonight to face Owen Hart.
Opening sequence.
Ultimate Warrior vs. Owen Hart
Owen is sent outside to start and let’s go to Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson to ask who they’ll be teaming with on Sunday. We’ll find that out later so we’ll look at Warrior slamming Owen instead and then clotheslining him out to the floor. A side slam plants Owen before Warrior no sells a spinwheel kick. Owen stomps away and we take a break. Back with Owen stomping even more and hitting a loud enziguri for no cover. A missile dropkick (Owen really likes using his feet) gets two and the kickout sends Owen out to the floor. Here’s the British Bulldog as Warrior Hulks Up, only to have Bulldog come in for the DQ.
Rating: C+. So that’s it for the Warrior, who left because his dad died, despite not really having anything to do with his dad for years. This got really nasty between Warrior and the company and led to them having no relationship for the better part of twenty years. Yeah Warrior was basically nuts but they completely buried him on the way out, which is rather petty.
Camp Cornette destroys Warrior post match and that’s that.
Shawn and Ahmed promise to reveal the third man. This has to be a bit of a rib or something at Hogan’s expense right? I mean it’s not funny (nor is it meant to be) but I’m sure there’s something there.
Savio Vega vs. Justin Hawk Bradshaw
Brian Pillman tries to jump Savio but gets held back. They slug it out to start with Savio hitting a spinwheel kick over the corner, only to get caught in a bulldog (required move for almost all Texans, or at least cowboys). Another slugout goes nowhere until Uncle Zebekiah punches Savio in the ribs. Lawler thinks John Travolta is the third man and Vince’s reaction is exactly what you would expect.
We hit the sleeper on Savio but Bradshaw switches over to a chinlock to really mix things up. The discussion moves on to the third man, which turns into an Abbott and Costello routine. It’s back to the sleeper for a long time so now let’s have a phone call from Mr. Perfect to give the announcers ANYTHING else to talk about. We take a break and come back with Mr. Perfect gone and Bradshaw hitting a pumphandle slam. This match just keeps going as Savio avoids a charge and gets in a suplex to put both guys down. Zebekiah grabs the wrong foot and Savio hits a leg lariat to FINALLY end this.
Rating: D-. Sweet goodness what a mess. This is the definition of a match that just keeps going and serves no purpose other than filling in time on a show that isn’t interesting in the first place. That’s the major problem around this time: there’s nothing interesting about these two fighting because there’s no reason for them to have a fifteen minute match. Why would I want to sit and watch a long match with no story between uninteresting characters?
Zebekiah and Bradshaw use various cowboy instruments to beat Savio down.
Shawn and Ahmed still won’t say who it is.
Clips from a rally before a show.
British Bulldog/Yokozuna vs. Godwinns
Jim Cornette sits in on commentary and promises a lawsuit due to the Godwinns’ animals. Henry runs Bulldog over to start but Vader comes in to destroy him. Cornette tries to figure out the Warrior suspension angle and says Warrior is running from Camp Cornette but it didn’t work either. Henry actually suplexes Vader before shouldering the monster down. It’s off to Phineas for a horrible looking splash so Vader takes his head off with a clothesline.
Bulldog comes in and gets caught in a bulldog (make your own joke) as the slow brawling continues. We hit a chinlock on Henry before Bulldog just hits him in the back a few times. This match just keeps going as Vader hits a splash for two as Vince tells us that we can’t get a promised Undertaker video. Maybe you should cut down on fifteen minute Bradshaw vs. Vega match. The Vader Bomb crushes Henry and we take a break. You know, because Vader’s finisher can’t beat HENRY GODWINN.
Back with Bulldog suplexing Henry for two and bringing Vader back in to keep this going. Henry actually catches a charging Vader in a powerslam, drawing Cornette off commentary and into his manager’s role. The un-hot tag brings in Phineas as Cornette is back on commentary and calling his team idiots. Everything breaks down and Bulldog hits the powerslam (without even running) for the pin on Phineas.
Rating: D. Again just long here in a match that could have wrapped up about ten minutes earlier than it should have. Somehow this was an upgrade over the previous match though, perhaps due to Bulldog and Vader being a lot more entertaining than Vega or Bradshaw. This really could have been better if they just cut off about five minutes but this is what we’re stuck with because Raw sucks.
Jim Cornette isn’t worried about the new partner so Shawn and Ahmed bring in Sid to send Cornette through the roof to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. Another way too long and boring show with a bunch of matches that fans weren’t interested in seeing and a really bad way of sending Warrior off. The Sid idea was about as good as they were going to get and I’m fine with the WHO IS THE THIRD MAN thing as they did it for one night and made it fine enough to work. This cycle can’t end soon enough though so we can get on to the Summerslam build.
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Monday Night Raw – July 1, 1996: Of Course It’s Shawn
Monday Night Raw Date: July 1, 1996
Location: Brown County Expo, Green Bay, Wisconsin
Attendance: 4,660
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
It’s Shawn-a-Mania running wild here as Shawn is the undisputed king of the company and rolling over anyone who dares challenge him. Unfortunately this isn’t exactly saving them in the ratings but there’s only so much they can do against Nitro and the Outsiders at this point, especially with British Bulldog as his top challenger in the previous few months. Let’s get to it.
Shawn Michaels vs. Marty Jannetty
Non-title. Shawn has the Kliq Cam with him to make sure he’s even less interesting than he already was. Jim Cornette is on the floor with the New Rockers to help set up Shawn vs. Vader. They do the big lockup to start as Vince talks about Canada Day. Feeling out process to start with Shawn nipping back up off an early takedown. Some armdrags put Shawn down again and it’s actually all Marty early on. You know Shawn isn’t going to sell for that long though and he makes a quick comeback with a few armdrags of his own, followed by a clothesline.
Leif pulls his partner out of the way of Sweet Chin Music and offers a distraction so Marty can take over again. There’s a backdrop to drop Shawn on his back but Marty spends too much time posing. Back from a break with Marty getting two off a snapmare (yes a snapmare) and putting on a chinlock. Shawn’s comeback is cut off when his shoulder goes into the post. Marty lands on his feet to escape a monkey flip and nails a quick clothesline. Again Shawn will have none of that and hits the forearm but doesn’t go straight for the superkick.
Instead he tries a powerbomb which is countered into a hurricanrana which is countered into a sunset flip for two on Marty. We take another break and come back with Marty scoring with the Rocker Dropper but missing the top rope fist drop. Shawn goes old school with a piledriver (which, along with the teardrop suplex were completely abandoned once he went to the superkick) and the top rope elbow, followed by Sweet Chin Music for the pin.
Rating: B. These two always worked well together, dating back to their great feud in 1993 over the Intercontinental Title. Marty continues to be a very underrated performer who could have been much better remembered if he wasn’t partnered with Shawn Michaels earlier in his career. Really good TV match here though which you could easily put on yet another Shawn DVD.
Leif tries to interfere and gets a superkick of his own. Shawn’s manager Jose Lothario punches out Cornette, who did nothing here.
We look at Sunny suckering Phineas Godwinn in to admit he loved her before ripping him apart and sending the Smoking Gunns in for the beatdown. Hillbilly Jim and Henry Godwinn made the save, leaving Sunny to be slopped. Sunny looked great here, before the slopping that is.
Mankind vs. Duke Droese
Jake Roberts is on commentary, which isn’t something you often hear. Lawler makes drunk jokes about Roberts as Mankind beats the heck out of Droese to start. We take a very early break and come back with Mankind cranking on the arm as the slow beating continues, only to be cut off by Jake asking what closet Lawler came out of. A quick spinebuster gives Duke a breather but Mankind grabs the Mandible Claw to break up…..something that isn’t important as Droese is out.
Rating: D. This was just a squash and it makes sense that Droese was gone after this, save for a few matches on Superstars. The guy was a wrestling garbageman though and he’s only going to get so far in the company. At least things are starting to shift though and that’s a really good thing for the WWF’s future.
Lawler and Roberts get in an argument with Jerry slapping him, only to have Mankind put Jake down with the Claw.
Marc Mero vs. Goldust
Steve Austin is on commentary before his match with Mero at In Your House IX. Goldust is feuding with Undertaker so a cameo isn’t out of the question. During the entrances, Austin starts yelling at Vince for cutting him off and you can almost hear 1998 from here. Mero punches him out to the floor to start as Austin goes off on Roberts for being old. Goldust is sent outside again as the stalling continues.
We take a break and come back with Mero knocking Goldust around ringside before he gets caught in a chinlock. Make that three chinlocks as this just keeps going. Goldust drops a fist to the head and we hit ANOTHER chinlock as we go to a second break. Back with Mero missing an elbow drop and Goldust hammering away with right hands. That’s enough excitement so it’s off to a REVERSE chinlock.
Mero gets back up and charges into a back elbow, setting up a powerslam for two. A double clothesline puts both of them down because this match hasn’t involved enough laying around. Marlena gets very close to Sable as Mero makes his comeback. The camera stays on the women and cuts back to see Goldust hitting the Curtain Call for the pin.
Rating: D-. Oh sweet goodness what a boring match. This was a bunch of sitting around waiting on anything interesting to happen and then not being surprised when nothing happened. These guys are better than this and I have no idea why they had such a horrible match with such little effort involved.
Overall Rating: C-. The opener is really good but it’s not enough to save the rest of the show. This show went up against the go home show for Bash at the Beach 1996 (as in the Third Man) so the follow up from this mess is going against Hogan’s big first appearance from this show. Well at least it should as Hogan didn’t debut in the Black and White until the NEXT week for reasons of WCW is stupid. Either way, this show sucked, save for Shawn of course, which is just how things worked in 1996.
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Monday Night Raw – March 25, 2002 (First WWF Draft): This Might Be A Bad Idea
This seemed appropriate given what we’re seeing now. Starting tonight, I’ll be putting up alternating reviews from the original Brand Split with Raw going up on Wednesday and Smackdown/pay per views going up on Saturdays. There’s no better place to start than on the original Draft so let’s get to it.
Monday Night Raw Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This seemed due for a second look since they’re doing it all again this year. We’re just after Wrestlemania XVIII and things are kind of in a lull. With so many wrestlers and no big evil for the WWF to fight (since the WCW/ECW Invasion just had to be started and wrapped up by Thanksgiving), it was decided to split the rosters in two. This was a really cool idea at the time but it should be interesting to see how it worked when the initial Brand Extension isn’t the most fondly remembered concept. Let’s get to it.
Linda McMahon is in WWF Studios to welcome us to the show, telling us that only twenty picks will be made tonight for the sake of time. The changes won’t officially take place until next week so everyone will be on Smackdown this week. As for tonight though, HHH, Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon can’t be drafted because they’re in a triple threat for the World Title (Yes Stephanie was getting a World Title shot and was a major focus fourteen years ago as well.). Steve Austin can’t be drafted either due to a contractual stipulation (read as a real life contract dispute) and is therefore a free agent and can sign wherever he wants.
Opening sequence.
There are PODIUMS ON THE STAGE! YES I SAID PODIUMS!!!
Tazz vs. Mr. Perfect
Perfect wouldn’t be around much longer due to a certain airplane ride (long and bad story). After promising to be a perfect pick, Perfect dropkicks him at the bell as we’re told that the WWF and Women’s Champion can compete on both shows. An early PerfectPlex gets two as Tazz is next to the ropes. Perfect charges into a boot and the Tazmission finishes quick. I wouldn’t expect to see a lot of strong wrestling tonight.
Tazz says the perfect pick has become just another victim.
Ric Flair (Raw owner) and Arn Anderson are in their war room to go over their draft options.
Vince’s war room is just an office. He has the first pick and a photo of Kurt Angle is visible on his desk.
Here’s Vince for the first pick, which I’m sure will involve a speech. The first pick for Smackdown will be…..the Rock. Well who else was it going to be? Rock leaves the locker room (walking past Undertaker and Hogan who are among the masses in a nice touch) as we see a quick graphic showing his career highlights.
Vince tells Rock that he’s not allowed to put his hands on him or threatening to put his boots in various places or saying IT DOESN’T MATTER ever again. The fans cut him off with a ROCKY chant so Vince says he made both Hogan and the Rock. The boss goes to leave but Rock isn’t quite done yet. To be fair he hasn’t said anything yet so he hasn’t actually started.
Rock wants to go out on Raw with a bang because he won the WWF World Title here, formed the Rock and Sock Connection here and did various things to Vince. We hit some catchphrases before Rock has them do the Penn State chant (WE ARE…..PENN STATE) and then alters it to insult Vince even more. This was just a Rock’s greatest hits stretched over about ten minutes.
Ric comes out and picks Undertaker #1 overall despite hating him.
Kurt Angle comes in to yell at Vince for not picking him first. Vince talks about throwing Flair a swerve out there (By picking the Rock?) when Undertaker comes in to yell. The boss promises to make this right.
Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian/Booker T.
Two feuds in one here but Edge is about to start a really good feud with Angle. Booker kicks Edge in the face to start and Christian gets two off a powerslam. A quick clothesline drops Christian though as the announcers talk about Austin having a clause in his contract to make sure he’s a free agent. In case of a Brand Split you see. Booker eats the Diamond Cutter but Christian gives him an Unprettier. A quick scissors kick puts Page away in a nothing match.
Angle reads off his resume until Vince makes him the #2 pick.
Ric picks the NWO (Hall/Nash/X-Pac) because that’s something you can do. I can’t wait for that Rock vs. Nash match. The NWO is uh….not in the locker room.
Vince yells at Angle for getting the NWO (who Vince brought in to poison the company) and promises to sign Austin. Angle suggests Chris Benoit (currently out with an injury but coming back soon.) with the next pick so Vince makes him #3. Benoit would return in July and just show up on Raw with no mention of being drafted to Smackdown. If nothing else it’s a good idea to have some of these picks backstage as there’s no reason to have them both come out here every time.
We see both brands’ big boards and JR thinks Flair’s strategy is, uh, strange.
The NWO threatens Ric so he picks Kane to keep an eye on them. Aside from X-Pac, Hall is now the second shortest member of the roster.
Trish Stratus vs. Ivory
Ivory returned last week to start a feud with Trish. They start fast with Ivory hammering away and ducking a middle rope cross body. Trish fights out of a chinlock and grabs the Stratusphere, followed by the Stratusfaction for another nothing match.
Vince picks Hulk Hogan, whose graphic incorrectly lists him as a seven time WCW Champion.
After a break, Ric picks Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam.
Vince is ticked because he wanted the title so Angle suggests giving him an Intercontinental Title shot tonight so he can bring the title to Smackdown. Vince: “That’s why you’re the number two draft pick! Maybe he should have been #1.”
Rock and Hogan have a bro moment where they praise the people. Ignoring the whole attempted murder thing from a few weeks ago, Rock agrees to team up against the NWO in a handicap match.
Vince picks Billy and Chuck as a unit.
The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. NWO
The NWO powerbombed Rock through a table on Smackdown until Hogan made the save to set this up. Hogan and X-Pac get things going with a big shove sending the smaller one out to the floor. Hall gets pushed down with ease so it’s off to Nash who can actually shove Hulk down.
Hogan cleans house with ease but he takes too long loading up a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. It’s off to X-Pac for more kicks but Hogan knocks him away and makes the tag off to Rock. Things finally speed up and X-Pac is easily knocked to the floor. The Rock Bottom and legdrop get two on Nash with X-Pac making the save. It’s a three on two beatdown until Kane comes out for the DQ.
Rating: F. Were you expecting anything else? It says a lot when the match lasts five minutes and is this boring with a screwy ending. I mean, X-Pac can’t take a fall to the combined forces of Hulk Hogan and the Rock? I could go for an entertaining match at some point tonight but I’m not feeling confident at this point.
The NWO runs off.
Vince accuses Ric of sending Kane out there so Flair takes Booker T. Vince: “Edge!” Ric: “Big Show!” Vince: “Rikishi!”
Jeff Hardy vs. Billy
Lita, Matt, Chuck and Rico are all at ringside. Billy fires off some right hands in the corner to start but misses a charge. The announcers talk about being drafted to different shows as Jeff hits a tornado DDT. The Swanton misses though as Lita completely botches a hurricanrana to Rico (her legs weren’t around his head and he had to flip himself). Jeff grabs a rollup for a fluke pin in another nothing match.
Ric picks Bubba Ray Dudley so he can have “the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Vince: “Well Ric it looks like you’re trying to get the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Did Stephanie write this segment? Vince picks D-Von to balance things out.
The Dudleys, realizing their careers are pretty much over for the time being, hug it out.
European Title: William Regal vs. Rikishi
Regal is defending. And never mind as Brock Lesnar runs out and flattens Rikishi with an F5.
Jazz wants to see where the Divas end up.
Vince comes out to pick Brock but Ric says it’s his pick and he’ll select Brock instead. Vince: “Mark Henry!” Ric: “William Regal!” Vince: “Maven!” (Hardcore Champion). Ric: “Lita!” Vince gets on him for choosing a woman and thinks Ric just wants to sleep with her. Well duh.
Here are the picks:
Smackdown
1. The Rock
2. Kurt Angle
3. Chris Benoit
4. Hulk Hogan
5. Billy and Chuck
6. Edge
7. Rikishi
8. D-Von Dudley
9. Mark Henry
10. Maven
Raw
1. Undertaker
2. NWO
3. Kane
4. Rob Van Dam
5. Booker T.
6. Big Show
7. Bubba Ray Dudley
8. Brock Lesnar
9. William Regal
10. Lita
Riveting no?
Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam
Angle is challenging and grabs a German suplex for two as the bell rings. Van Dam gets stomped down as the fans chant USA. I’d assume for Angle, even though Michigan is just as American as Pennsylvania. Van Dam kicks him in the head and gets two off Rolling Thunder. Angle pulls the referee in the way of a top rope kick for the DQ.
Kurt puts on the ankle lock until Edge makes the save.
Stephanie is ready to win the title.
WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho vs. Stephanie McMahon
HHH is defending and the challengers have a business relationship. I have no idea why they never had a romantic relationship as that could have been amazing. If HHH pins Stephanie, she’s gone FOREVER. HHH backdrops the real wrestler to start but has to look at Stephanie so Jericho can chop away. Stephanie lays down so Jericho can cover her for two but he has to save her from the Pedigree.
HHH catapults Jericho into Stephanie so we can have the falling low blow spot. Thankfully HHH kicks her to the floor so we can have an actual match for a bit. Of course Stephanie won’t STAY AWAY FROM THE MATCH as she just has to come back in to screech about how Jericho needs to work on the leg. Stephanie gets run over by mistake so she slaps Jericho and demands that he get HHH. Jericho clotheslines her by mistake but gets sent to the floor, allowing HHH to tease another Pedigree. Naturally that can’t happen because the fans love waiting on her getting her comeuppance instead of actually getting it.
Jericho grabs the belts (this was when there was no Undisputed Title belt yet) for a double knockout, meaning Stephanie can cover both of them. The Walls have HHH in trouble but Stephanie breaks them up by jumping on Jericho’s back. A Pedigree gets rid of Jericho but THERE SHE IS AGAIN. HHH has finally had enough and hits a spinebuster (because we can’t hurt her perfect face) to retain.
Rating: D-. They couldn’t even do a good match (which these two are certainly capable of having) because that wasn’t the point here. Yeah a Wrestlemania main event rematch for the title eight days later wasn’t the focus. Instead, as I’m sure you can tell, this was ALL about Stephanie and there was no hiding it. Of course her being gone “forever” lasted less than four months as she was brought back as the completely face GM of Smackdown because she’s just so darn loveable that we can forgive this along with the whole Alliance thing last year.
Here’s the thing: what exactly did Stephanie add to this? Why couldn’t this have just been HHH vs. Jericho with Stephanie leaving if Jericho lost? It’s actually a good match, Jericho is fine with losing a fall to the champ and the guys don’t have to keep stopping so often so she can catch up. Horrible match of course and completely not HHH and Jericho’s fault, but since it can’t be Stephanie’s fault either (as nothing ever can be), we’ll blame….uh….oh yeah the referee. HE RUINED IT!
Stephanie of course freaks out and tries to hang on to anything she can before security takes her away. HHH sings the Goodbye Song to end the show. This was a special bonus in case you didn’t get that you were watching Monday Night Stephanie.
Overall Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness what a mess. First of all, the match of the night was……uhhh…..you know what it was actually Mr. Perfect against Tazz in a match lasting 1:53. That’s not to say it was good but it didn’t have a major botch, a stupid ending or the powers of Stephanie holding it back.
Other than that though, this was a complete disaster with Smackdown being stacked, Raw basically begging Austin to come back and save the thing and the “wrestling” being little more than background noise. This was somehow worse than I remembered it, which is covering quite a bit of ground as I remember this show being horrible the last time I watched it.
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Monday Night Raw – May 29, 1995: Get The Flashlight!
Monday Night Raw Date: May 29, 1995 Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re wrap up the month here as the company is just getting worse and worse as the weeks go by. The Undertaker is back tonight though so maybe we can get a little relief. Unfortunately he’s facing Jeff Jarrett, who could somehow bring him right back down to reality. This tournament is showing how weak the heel side of this roster really is. Let’s get to it.
Jeff Jarrett is in the ring to say he’s ready to face Undertaker but he panics when the lights go out. Jeff: “GET THE FLASHLIGHT! GET THE FLASHLIGHT!” Funny line, but what’s even funnier is Vince and Jerry making little comments about Jeff’s promo but you can see them sitting there in silence.
Opening sequence.
Sid vs. Mike Khoury
Sid has Tatanka and Ted DiBiase in his corner. Isn’t that a bit excessive for a squash? Powerbomb ends this in about a minute.
We look at Diesel injuring his elbow at In Your House and having surgery to fix it up. He should be back soon and won’t miss any significant time.
Adam Bomb vs. Bob Cook
Vince mentions that there will be a broadcast version of Wrestlemania this weekend and says he’s proud as a peacock about it. I’m not sure why he can’t say it’s on NBC (whose logo is a peacock) as they’re willing to air it but won’t let him market it? Bomb starts in on the arm and punches away before scoring with the top rope clothesline to end it quick. He never recovered from that Mabel match.
King of the Ring Control Center with Diesel and Bigelow promising to bankrupt and close the Million Dollar Corporation.
Hakushi vs. John Snakowski
Hakushi comes out with a bag containing……A BRET HART HEAD. You can hear the crow freak out over that and I can’t blame them. That was actually creepy. Hakushi chops a lot, hits a Vader Bomb and finishes with a running flip splash.
Antonino Rocca, Ernie Ladd and Ivan Putski will be inducted into the Hall of Fame.
Alundra Blayze wants to fight Bertha Faye. For some reason this takes three minutes.
Men on a Mission vs. Aaron Ferguson/Gary Scott
Scott fires off kicks to Mo’s fat gut to start but Mabel comes in and destroys him as you would expect. Aaron comes in to start on Mo’s arm but gets punched in the face for his efforts. It’s back to Scott so Mabel can splash him in the corner, setting up another splash for the pin.
Rating: D-. I’m running out of ways to describe these squashes. Mabel is huge and crushes people and Mo is just there because Mabel needed a partner. For the life of me I don’t know what Vince saw in Mabel to push him like he did but maybe he thought it was another Yokozuna. You know, without the talent, intimidation factor or anything else positive.
We look at the incomplete King of the Ring brackets.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. Undertaker
As you might expect, Jeff is terrified but tries some right hands to start. That earns him the jumping clothesline and Old School. Just like last time, Roadie’s interference doesn’t work and Jeff has to avoid an elbow drop. Another Roadie distraction actually does work though and Jeff starts stomping away with a dropkick getting two. Jarrett starts in on the leg and we take a break. Back with the Figure Four going on until Jeff gets caught holding the ropes. A swinging neckbreaker keeps Undertaker in trouble but he grabs Jeff out of the air for a chokeslam. The Tombstone sends Undertaker to the tournament.
Rating: C. For once I’m ok with a champion losing clean because despite not being a champion, Undertaker is a much bigger deal than Jarrett could ever hope to be. This was a totally watchable match as Jarrett is more than capable of wrestling a simple match and making it look fine. The problem is when he’s asked to be interesting out of the ring because he’s just boring otherwise.
A preview for next week’s show and Bob Backlund raging against modern music wrap us up.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s really interesting how much one match not being horrible can help a show. Jarrett vs. Undertaker certainly isn’t great but it kept the show from leaving a bad taste in my mouth and that’s more than you usually get from any given episode. The King of the Ring is starting to take shape and that’s probably why I’m desperate to get out of this month.
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Monday Night Raw Date: May 22, 1995 Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
King of the Ring already can’t get here soon enough and we’re only eight days removed from the previous pay per view. There’s just nothing interesting going on right now as Ted DiBiase and company aren’t working as top heels. On the other hand, the top faces are Diesel, Shawn and Bam Bam Bigelow. This could be even worse than it sounds. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Sid attacking Shawn Michaels a few months back to set up Shawn’s big return tonight against King Kong Bundy.
Opening sequence.
Vince and Jerry have their opening chat.
Razor Ramon vs. Mike Bell
Razor has Savio Vega with him and has recently defeated Jacob Blu to qualify for the King of the Ring tournament. I know it’s obvious that Razor would be involved but that’s the best opponent they had for him? We actually hear about Razor and Jeff Jarrett trading the Intercontinental Title on a house show tour over the weekend, which isn’t something you often hear mentioned on TV.
Bell takes him down for a surprising start but Razor comes right back with his driving shoulder blocks. There’s the fall away slam and we hit something like an STF. Vince and Jerry argue about Lawler’s mom at In Your House as the belly to back superplex sets up….nothing actually as Razor just shoves Bell down and pins him.
Rating: D. Standard squash here with Razor looking good. He should be making a strong run in the King of the Ring as he’s certainly one of the best midcard acts in a long time and above all else he has creditability. I’m really not sure why they didn’t give Razor a stronger push as he should have been more than capable of handling it, assuming his personal issues were under control.
Here’s Bret Hart to get in Lawler’s face. Bret can’t believe he lost at In Your House and now he doesn’t want to hear Jerry calling himself the better man. We even get some Canadian swearing before Bret challenges Lawler to one more match with any terms Lawler wants. So that’s where Christian got the ONE MORE MATCH chant. Even more swearing (WAY intense for 1995) has Bret going after Lawler with Vince having to play defense. No gimmick is announced here but that just keeps you wanting to come back for more.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. John Crystal
This is Helmsley’s Raw debut so we actually have some history on this show. Helmsley works on the arm to start before slapping Crystal in the face like a true blueblood should. A chinlock doesn’t last long and Helmsley finishes this quickly with a cutter, though the Pedigree would come soon enough. I’m always fascinated with these historical moments that no one knew would mean anything for years.
We go to Bob Backlund campaign headquarters for his first campaign ideas: children must purchase a dictionary, read one great American novel every week, ban calculators and computers and get rid of summer vacations. As a seven year old, this TERRIFIED me and I actually bought the whole thing.
The In Your House winner sees the inside for the first time and finds the Bushwhackers in a closet. I’m always stunned that they were still around at this point.
Allied Powers vs. Bill Payne/Tony DeVito
The match almost immediately goes to a split screen so we can see Bulldog electric chair Mabel. Bulldog throws DeVito around, Luger throws Payne around and the powerslam ends Bill in a hurry.
We recap Bam Bam Bigelow vs. I.R.S. from last week.
Kama Mustafa vs. Barry Horowitz
Kama is part of DiBiase’s team. Barry swings away to start and has as much effect as you would expect, only to have Kama miss a charge and fall outside. Vince makes sure to mention that Barry has yet to win a match on Raw, which sounds like foreshadowing. Kama comes back with ease and finishes with a half crab.
Todd previews the Hall of Fame banquet, which is a really low level event at this point. Antonino Rocca is the first name announced for induction.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Shawn Michaels vs. King Kong Bundy
Bundy goes right after him to start so Michaels knees him in the back to put the big man on the floor. We take an early break and come back with Shawn hammering away, including some right hands in the corner. Michaels makes the mistake of going outside to mess with DiBiase though, allowing Bundy to hit him from behind and get in a slam on the floor.
We hit the fat man offense that you’ve come to expect from Bundy over the last ten years or so. It’s off to a bearhug (a must have for any big man match) followed by a chinlock (a must have for almost any match longer than two minutes). We see Diesel and Bigelow watching in the back as Shawn avoids a splash and we take a break. Back with Shawn hitting the superkick for the pin. The post break part was less than thirty seconds.
Rating: D+. You know, this wasn’t horrible. Bundy was fine for a monster for Shawn to slay, despite there being almost no chance for him to win in the first place. Michaels might be the shot in the arm this company needs as they’re dying for star power and Shawn was one of the hottest acts on the roster.
Diesel and Bigelow come out to congratulate Shawn, who gives Diesel the jumping Too Sweet to show that they’re cool.
Lawler won’t pick a stipulation due to a dry throat.
Undertaker is ready for his King of the Ring qualifying match against Jeff Jarrett.
Overall Rating: D. Historic Raw debut aside, this was another boring show though not as boring as some of them. Shawn coming back is a really good thing for the promotion and another Lawler vs. Bret match should help them along. Above all else though they need a big bad and there really doesn’t seem to be anyone capable of filling that role, including Sid. The roster is killing them right now and a big name turning heel would be the best possible option.
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Monday Night Raw – May 15, 1995: They’re Already Dying
Monday Night Raw Date: May 15, 1995
Location: Broome County Arena, Binghamton, New York
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
We’re past In Your House and that means it’s time to go towards……towards……dang it we’re going towards King of the Ring 1995. Diesel is still WWF World Champion as Sid still can’t win a singles title. Other than that, we still have Jerry Lawler vs. Bret Hart because why stop at two years? Let’s get to it.
We open with dueling IRS and Bam Bam Bigelow promos with both saying they’re ready.
Lawler is VERY happy after beating Bret Hart last night. That’s quite the accomplishment for him actually.
Owen Hart/Yokozuna vs. Nick Barbarry/Bill Weaver
Non-title of course. Cornette yells that a fan didn’t get enough oxygen as a fetus. I’ve asked this before but WHERE DOES HE COME UP WITH THIS STUFF??? A double clothesline drops the jobbers and it’s off to Hart to beat on Weaver. Barbarry actually gets in a hiptoss and they take turns working on Owen’s arm. Yokozuna will have none of that and finishes Owen with a Rock Bottom.
Rating: D. Just a squash here though I’m not sure what the need was after a successful title defense on pay per view the night before. Owen and Yokozuna were a good oddball tag team and held the belts for a good long reign, possibly due to a lack of any real competition. They weren’t a great team or anything really close to it but when there were almost no other teams of worth around, it wasn’t hard to stand out.
We look at some stills of Lawler and his mom (a twenty-something year old model) beating Bret last night.
The latest ad campaign: aliens want to destroy the world but spare it for the sake of the WWF. Ok then.
Man Mountain Rock vs. Iron Mike Sharpe
That WWF guitar is still one of the coolest things in the history of the world. Like, up there with Tang. Sharpe (How is he still around?) bounces off the huge Rock and gets crushed with an elbow. A Fujiwara Armbar (thankfully not on Sharpe’s bad arm) ends Mike in a hurry.
We see the house being given away last night and an 11 year old actually won the thing.
Stills of Jeff Jarrett/The Roadie beating on Razor Ramon until Savio Vega debuted for the save.
Savio speaks Spanish and I think says he’s here to work. Vince calms him down enough to speak English and say no one is going to hurt his friends when he’s around.
King of the Ring Qualifying Match: Mantaur vs. Bob Holly
Oh….dang man. Mantaur shoves Bob outside like he’s nothing and shrugs off some dropkicks back inside. We hit the choking on the ropes as it’s very clear that Mantaur isn’t very good. Mantaur slowly forearms Bob in the chest and gets two off a suplex. A rollup and missile dropkick give Holly two each and a high cross body is enough for the pin.
Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad and that really can’t be a surprise. Mantaur was as bad of a big man as there’s been since the last time Mabel had a match (so last night) but Holly isn’t exactly the most thrilling guy in the world. There was just no depth to the roster at this point and it’s showing more and more every single week.
Bob Backlund has a big announcement. Back at Wrestlemania XI he saw a sign and now everything has ionized. Backlund talks about the Olympics starting in 1776 and John F. Kennedy being shot in December 1982. Then there’s February 20, 1978, when he won the WWF World Title, which brings us to his announcement: he’s running for President of the United States and that means a marching band. Vince is STUNNED for a great visual. I’m actually stunned this hasn’t been referenced in 2016 when Backlund is around again.
Stills of last night’s main event and post match brawl with Tatanka and Bam Bam Bigelow getting involved.
Ted DiBiase wants a tag match with Diesel/Bigelow vs. Sid/Tatanka for King of the Ring.
I.R.S. vs. Bam Bam Bigelow
Bigelow, now a fire enthusiast, brings out Diesel to be in his corner and sounds like he accepts the challenge. Diesel chases DiBiase off and we’re ready to go, despite that not being fair to I.R.S. Bigelow sends the tax man outside early on and it’s time for an early break. Back with Bigelow dropping a headbutt but missing its top rope cousin. Vince mentions Bigelow having a bad knee, which A, should have been brought up earlier and B, should have been noticed earlier.
We hit the chinlock for a bit, followed by an abdominal stretch to really spice things up. I.R.S. takes a buckle pad off (Uh, Diesel? Help?) and sends Bigelow into the steel for two, only to have Bigelow do the same (with the head clearly not making contact) and dropping a headbutt for the pin.
Rating: D-. Egads they’re actually getting worse. You would think a leg injury coming into the match would warrant an actual attack on the leg but instead it was a chinlock and an abdominal stretch. Also I hope this isn’t their way to launch Bigelow to the next level as a main event face because he just had to cheat to beat a career midcarder.
Shawn Michaels is coming back next week so here’s a video to get you fired up.
Overall Rating: F. Oh yeah they’re already dying and this is coming off a pay per view. I have no idea how they could have thought this was going to be a good idea and pushing Bigelow as a main event face, at least like this, is only going to make things worse. Now we’ve got tournament qualifiers on top of the bad matches, but maybe Shawn can do them some good. It certainly can’t make things worse.
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Monday Night Raw Date: August 22, 2016
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton
It’s the night after Summerslam and there’s a lot to talk about, but first and foremost we have no Universal Champion. Finn Balor won the inaugural title last night but was forced to vacate it due to a shoulder injury suffered during the match. Odds are tonight we’ll find out what happens with the title so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last night’s Universal Title match. Nothing else is mentioned.
Opening sequence.
The announcers tell us about Finn’s injury and the title being vacated. He’ll be out at least SIX months.
The bosses bring out Finn with his arm in a sling. Balor says this title represents a lifetime of sacrifice, including one last night. He has to vacate the title tonight but when he comes back, this title is the first thing he’s coming for. Balor gets a hero’s sendoff but Seth Rollins cuts him off with a huge grin on his face. Rollins calls himself the real winner last night but here’s Sami Zayn to cut him off.
Nothing is said as Chris Jericho comes out as well. He’s followed by Owens, Enzo and Cass (before this segment started I said I’d take a flier and put the belt on Cass) and Reigns. Foley says there’s going to be a series of matches to determine the champion next week. You can imagine how well that’s going over.
Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn
Before the bell, Sami looks over at Owens and gets jumped from behind to send us to a break. The match is joined in progress with Sami snapping off a headscissors to put Rollins outside, only to have him start stomping at Zayn in the corner. Back up and Sami springboards off the bottom rope and twists his ankle. Sami says he can keep going and low bridges to the floor, setting up a slingshot flip dive over the top. Seth comes back with the top rope knee to the head and we take a break.
Back with Sami hitting his big clothesline and a sunset bomb out of the corner. The Pedigree doesn’t work as Sami hits the exploder suplex. The Helluva Kick doesn’t work though and Seth stomps on the foot before grabbing a leg lock for….actually not a submission. Sami gets to the ropes but can’t grab a suplex, setting up the Pedigree to give Rollins the pin at 11:53.
Rating: C+. I’m fairly sure that was a fake ankle injury and it’s a testament to what Sami can do with his selling that I’m really not positive. Rollins advancing is fine but it would be nice if Sami could have a story that isn’t Kevin Owens related. The selling worked really well and I love Rollins trying a leg lock instead of just instantly using his regular move. It shows thinking during the match, which is something Rollins should always be doing.
Kevin Owens vs. Neville
So there are going to be some named added. Neville sends him outside to start and hits a 450 off the apron. Another big running flip dive takes Owens down but here’s Chris Jericho for a distraction so Kevin can (not) hit a clothesline to turn Neville inside out. Back with Neville avoiding a frog splash and hitting a middle rope phoenix splash, followed by the deadlift German suplex for two. The Red Arrow misses but Neville enziguris him right back into position. Jericho distracts the referee though and Owens hits the torture rack neckbreaker for the pin at 8:31.
Rating: C+. Oh how I love secondary finishers. It gets so tiring waiting on the one move that can finish a match so switching it up like this is a really nice change of pace. Owens winning here was obvious and there’s nothing wrong with that. The match was fine for the time they had and Neville flying around is always fun.
The title match next week will be a fatal fourway. Is this surprising in the slightest?
Here’s New Day to celebrate holding the Tag Team Titles for 365 days. They thank the fans for the year and it’s time for a unicorn pinata. As I continue to try to understand the concept of a pinata, here are Anderson and Gallows to call this stupid. They point out that New Day lost last night so there needs to be a rematch. Anderson asks Kofi about taking the Magic Killer last night. Kofi: “BIG E! DEFEND ME!” Big E.: “Uh, I got nothing.” It’s Anderson vs. Big E. tonight and that means trombone time.
Karl Anderson vs. Big E.
Joined in progress again with Big E. putting on the abdominal stretch and some rhythmic spanking. Anderson sends him into the corner and starts kicking at the leg, including a running kick to the back of the knee. Big E. powers him up again and throws Anderson over the top. The spear through the ropes is broken up by a knee as the rest of New Day beats on Gallows. Back in and the Big Ending puts Anderson away at 3:34.
Rating: D+. Well that happened. I’m not sure how the champion winning is better than having the challengers get some wins to build momentum but the New Day merchandise is all that matters. New Day holding the titles for a year is amazing but I’m not sure how much longer they can go before it stops being entertaining. Then again I was saying that six months ago.
The Dudley Boyz are saying goodbye tonight so we see a clip of their debut in 1999.
Here’s Titus O’Neil for a chat. Ok ok we’ll stop booing your belt. Titus talks about how New Day beat the Prime Time Players for the belts and rips on Darren Young for holding him out of the main event. People have been blaming Bob Backlund but Titus wants to blame Darren for not being in the main event. No one comes out so the fans ask for Slater again. Cue Bob Backlund at a run to put Titus in a cross face pectoral grab before Titus slams him. Darren runs out (Was he watching the Little League World Series?) and takes the Clash of the Titus while Backlund looks dead.
Video on Lesnar vs. Orton.
Earlier today, Shane said Brock crossed a line. Stephanie says she agrees. End of segment.
We look at Balor vacating the title.
Rusev vs. Big Cass
Non-title, Rusev has bruised ribs and the winner advances to next week. Before the match, Enzo tries to figure out which part of New York City Bulgaria is in. An early clothesline puts Rusev on the floor and we take a break. Back with Cass fighting out of a chinlock before Rusev takes out the leg. Rusev misses the splash though, allowing Cass to hit one of his own in the corner. That sends Rusev outside for a superkick to Enzo, sending Cass into a rage of right hands to the ribs. The bad ribs go into the steps and they trade kicks to the face with Cass getting the better. Rusev falls to the floor and walks out for the countout at 8:23.
Rating: C. Not much to the match here but I’m really pleased with the way they did the booking here. Rusev doesn’t get pinned and they still send Cass on to next week’s title match. Everything works out just fine here and we get a nice hope spot for the title. Oh and they didn’t have Reigns interfere for the obvious ending. Well done again.
Owens and Jericho argue over who can be the next Universal Champion. They do however manage to get Tom’s name wrong over and over.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke to gloat about Charlotte getting the Women’s Title back. Dana does a one woman YOU DESERVE IT chant and Charlotte has to agree. Charlotte says you can forget about Sasha Banks because she did it all by herself last night. Sasha is out with a back injury and now the queen has reclaimed her throne. That’s it but here’s Mick Foley to interrupt.
The boss (Foley, not Sasha), praises Charlotte last night but we have to stop for a WE WANT BAYLEY chant. Mick says Sasha will be back and will get a rematch for the title. That’s fine with Charlotte but there’s no one left for her to face tonight. Foley says not so fast because there are parts of this match that are heartbreaking. There are great moments too though, like signing free agents……like BAYLEY!
We get the big introduction and the HUGGER SECTION signs are out in full force. Bayley can’t believe this is happening but she’s cut off by a YOU DESERVE IT chant. She thanks Mick for the moment and has an idea: how about we seal the deal with a hug, right here in Brooklyn, New York? You know Mick isn’t going to turn that down.
Charlotte laughs this off and plugs Mick’s reality show before saying there’s a reason Bayley stayed in NXT during the Divas Revolution. Bayley says she won’t try to upstage Charlotte but she will challenge her for the Women’s Title. That’s not cool with Charlotte, who says Bayley has to earn it. Unfortunately Charlotte isn’t ready so Dana can face Bayley instead. Mick agrees and the match is on.
Bayley vs. Dana Brooke
Bayley starts fast by sending Dana into the buckle for a near fall but Dana knocks her outside and into the barricade. Back in and Dana works on the leg before just slugging away. Bayley comes back with her variety of elbows and the Bayley to Belly for the pin at 4:32.
Rating: C. The match was unimportant here compared to the pop for her debut which worked as well as they could have imagined. Bayley has long since deserved this spot and while it’s a shame that an injury might have caused her to get to the main roster, she’s a welcome fit here and much better suited to Raw than Smackdown.
Roman Reigns isn’t worried about Kevin Owens.
The cruiserweights arrive September 19.
Sheamus is ready for his next match with Cesaro next week and insults New York sports teams.
Bruan Strowman vs. Johnny Knockout
Knockout says he’s doing this because, and I quote, he likes big sweaty men. Strowman throws him around to start and the reverse chokeslam cut off the LET’S GO JOBBER chants with the pin at 1:19.
Strowman beats him up again and makes the referee count another pin. Ever the professional, the referee waits until Knockout’s shoulder is down.
Here are the Dudley Boyz for their retirement speech. Bubba says they returned a year ago in this ring and it’s been a heck of a year. They’ve had some wins and some losses but now things are changing. D-Von says it’s been a great career with twenty years going up and down the roads with this man here. They had some great matches with teams like Edge and Christian and the Hardys and D-Von would take every one of those shots and falls again tonight.
Bubba has the fans give themselves a round of applause and it’s time to go but here are the Shining Stars to interrupt. They have a going away present for Bubba and D-Von: two tickets (economy class) to Puerto Rico! That alone earns them a beating and we get one last 3D and WAZZUP……before Bubba tells him to get the table. Cue Anderson and Gallows to beat down the Dudleys. D-Von goes through the table via a Magic Killer. I’m actually surprised as I would have bet on that Ray turn.
Roman Reigns vs. Chris Jericho
Final qualifying match. Jericho gets into a chase to start but stops to poke Reigns in the eye as we take a break. Back with Jericho putting the ASK HIM chinlock. Reigns fights back and sends him into the buckle but the Superman Punch is blocked. It’s too early for the Walls so Jericho settles for two off the enziguri instead.
Jericho takes too much time on the top though and gets punched out of the air, setting up the apron boot. Now the Superman Punch connects for two and Jericho’s Codebreaker is easily countered into a sitout powerbomb. Kevin Owens runs out for a distraction to break up the spear but it just earns Jericho another Superman Punch.
The spear is countered into the Walls but Reigns makes the rope. Owens adds a superkick to set up the Codebreaker for two with Saxton telegraphing the near fall by saying Jericho was the fourth man. Can we PLEASE stop doing that? Back up and they trade slaps until Owens has to be punched off the apron. Now the spear connects to send Reigns to the title match at 15:03.
Rating: C+. Again this was fine but you would think Rusev might make an appearance here. Reigns getting in was the only option as you can’t have Cass as the only face in the title match. That being said, Jericho is always a great choice to make anyone look good and that’s what he did here. Fine enough main event here but nothing memorable.
Overall Rating: C. This show was all over the place. I had fun with Bayley debuting and their reaction to the title situation was fine, but there’s basically no reaction to Brock last night and Rusev not interfering in the main event doesn’t make sense. The wrestling wasn’t anything special either, leaving this show square in the middle. Hopefully we get something on Lesnar soon though, because people aren’t going to be pleased with just leaving the main event of Summerslam hanging while we wait for Lesnar to grace us with his presence again.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Sami Zayn – Pedigree
Kevin Owens b. Neville – Torture rack neckbreaker
Big E. b. Karl Anderson – Big Ending
Big Cass b. Rusev via countout
Bayley b. Dana Brooke – Bayley to Belly
Braun Strowman b. Johnny Knockout – Reverse chokeslam
Roman Reigns b. Chris Jericho – Spear
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Monday Night Raw – May 8, 1995: Bart Gunn Saved This Show
Monday Night Raw Date: May 8, 1995
Location: Civic Auditorium, Omaha, Nebraska
Attendance: 5,800
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
This is a bad time as it’s the go home show for In Your House but that means we’re coming up on King of the Ring 1995, which is one of the worst shows of all time. We have two matches announced for tonight: Bob Holly vs. Doink the Clown and Bart Gunn vs. Owen Hart. I think you can see the problems from here. Let’s get to it.
The opening recap looks at Sid and Razor from last week. This takes 45 seconds, not five minutes.
Opening sequence.
Lawler is WAY too happy that Bret Hart is having two matches at Summerslam.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Doink the Clown
Jeff’s Intercontinental Title isn’t on the line and Dink is in the big clown’s corner. Doink starts fast but Roadie grabs his foot, only to have Doink stomp on Roadie’s fingers. Roadie reaches for Jeff’s hand to break up a wristlock but Doink kicks the hand away. It’s not like the referee was going to do anything. Roadie’s cheating fails AGAIN as he can’t hold Doink up against the ropes, earning himself a Stunner. Just fire this goon already. Jeff finally takes over on his own as the announcers start making book references. Doink comes right back with a sunset flip for two and we take a break.
Back with Doink’s leg in trouble and Jeff slowly kicking away as the match slow down (not the worst thing). We hit the half crab but Roadie somehow screws up for a fourth time with the referee catching him holding Jeff’s hand. Doink grabs a DDT and a powerslam for two, followed by Dink taking a bite out of Jeff’s tights. It’s time for the Stump Puller (an odd leg submission) on Jeff but the referee is with Jarrett, allowing Roadie to get in a chop block for the save. Jeff slaps on the Figure Four for the submission.
Rating: C+. Odds are that was Steve Lombardi under the mask and it’s very clear that he was a better choice if you need a good match. Jarrett was more than fine in a role like this where you have him in a midcard match instead of having any kind of attention. There’s nothing wrong with just having a good wrestling match like this one, especially in the land of squashes that is 1995 Monday Night Raw.
The BodyDonnas are coming. This is Sunny’s national TV debut and she’s instantly a star with more charisma than any woman has ever had in the company to date and possibly ever.
Bam Bam Bigelow is sorry for all the things he’s done over the last few months and wants to get his hands on the Million Dollar Team.
Video on Sid vs. Diesel.
Vince brings out Sid and DiBiase for a chat. DiBiase was the one that told Shawn Michaels to hire Sid as his bodyguard because he knew Sid would turn his back on Shawn and draw Diesel into a WWF World Title match. There’s a great slap in Shawn’s face there as Ted is basically saying there was no way Shawn would win the title at Wrestlemania. Ted is ready to send Diesel to a rest home and Sid talks about an African lion. Promises of a powerbomb wrap this up.
Hakushi vs. Gary Scott
Hakushi starts fast with chops and kicks (because of course) followed by a gordbuster, all with Lawler drooling over the thoughts of this happening to Bret on Sunday. An abdominal stretch of all things sets up a springboard splash to put Scott away.
In Your House Control Center doesn’t tell us much. As for storyline stuff, Diesel says he’s ready for Sid and that’s about it. Todd runs down the card and that’s that. Other than that, there’s no replay. Unless that’s a pay per view company decree, I have no idea why the WWF would go with that move. Maybe they can’t make enough money due to the lowered price but it sounds like giving away money.
Owen Hart vs. Bart Gunn
A main event anywhere in the country, or maybe just on a Raw in Omaha. Bart quickly knocks him outside to start but Owen forearms him in the back because it’s just Bart Gunn. Owen is taken down again and it’s time to start in on the arm. Mr. Fuji offers a trip (it’s not like he can do anything else) and Owen takes it outside to send Bart into the post.
The enziguri gets two on Bart and we take a break. Back with Bart stopping a charge by raising a boot in the corner. That’s it for his offense (Or was it defense?) as Owen gets two off a clothesline. Cornette breaks up a superplex but Billy Gunn crotches Owen on the top, allowing Bart to grab a rollup for the fluke pin.
Rating: C. Bart Gunn of all people pinning Owen Hart aside, this was a fine way to set up the Tag Team Title match on Sunday as it’s not like they need much of a story since it’s just a rematch. The Gunns aren’t the most interesting team in the world but this gave them some momentum, which is really all they need here.
Todd and Stephanie (not that Stephanie) tour the house they’re giving away and it’s….a house.
Vince and Jerry, in front of a green screen of fans for some reason, wrap us up with Jerry promising that his mom will be at ringside.
Overall Rating: C. Now this was entertaining with two totally watchable matches and a build towards a few of Sunday’s matches. Above all else they let us have some wrestling instead of four squashes in forty five minutes. It’s certainly nothing great and no one would have thought much of it at the time but this was way better than most of the shows I’ve been sitting through in recent weeks.
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