Monday Night Raw – November 15, 1993: Let Freedom Ring
Monday Night Raw Date: November 15, 1993 Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan
The big story this week is a fan voted match with Lex Luger facing Pierre the Quebecer in a match that really isn’t the most interesting thing in the world. Other than that we find out who will be the replacement on the All Americans now that Tatanka has been injured. That’s quite the cool moment so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Savage going nuts and attacking Vince to go after Crush last week.
Opening sequence.
Savage has been suspended from commentary for a week in a logical move.
Razor Ramon vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Non-title. The referee won’t let the Brawler hit Razor with the title to start so Ramon shrugs off the early offense and punches him down. An atomic drop slows Ramon down as we hear about Shawn Michaels returning to the company. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Brawler ducks his head like an idiot, setting up the Razor’s Edge for the easy pin.
Crush is very happy with costing Savage his broadcasting job.
Headshrinkers vs. Mike Bucci/Mike Maraldo
Bucci would later be known as Nova/Simon Dean. Fatu headbutts Bucci around to start as the announcers talk about Savage being gone this week. A double headbutt puts him down as we’re firmly in squash territory here. Unfortunately this leads to a discussion of the Four Doinks, which would be the only match I ever turned off in the middle of a review because it was horrible. A double Stroke sets up Samu’s top rope splash to squash Bucci for good.
Rating: D. I’ve always been a Headshrinkers fan as they’re such a simple gimmick but they knew how to make it work. Their face run was a lot more entertaining but at the moment we’re stuck with them as your run of the mill island savages. On the other hand it’s always cool to see someone like Bucci as a fresh rookie before he became a fairly well known name.
We go back to Superstars over the weekend with the announcement of Tatanka’s replacement on the All Americans. That would be…..the Undertaker, who says he’ll fight with them against these Foreign Fanatics. He opens the coat to reveal an American flag and says let freedom ring in a really cool moment.
Pierre vs. Lex Luger
Pierre is one half of the Tag Team Champions. Luger whips him across the ring a few times to start and gets two off a belly to back suplex. A backdrop on the floor gets two for Luger and we take an early break. Back with Luger working on the arm but some left hands get Pierre out of trouble.
Luger gets up but Pierre’s manager Johnny Polo grabs the leg (with the referee not only seeing him but yelling about it), allowing Pierre to send him into the steps. A Vader Bomb gets two on Luger and Heenan is shocked at the kickout. He does realize it was Pierre right? Pierre puts on a bad looking reverse chinlock but Luger powers out as we take a break.
Back with the hold on again and a piledriver getting two on Lex. A really weird looking top rope legdrop (with Pierre trying to spin around to drop the other leg instead of the one you would expect) gets the same and it’s time for Luger’s comeback. Some right hands and a slam off the top set up the flying forearm to finish Pierre off. Heenan’s rant about all the metal in the arm is great.
Rating: D-. This is really on whoever decided to put Pierre in this match as there was no reason to think he could handle a nearly fifteen minute match on his own. There’s a reason you put him in a tag team so a veteran like Jacques can carry a lot of the work but it was basically suicide to put him out here and ask him to carry half of a match.
Post break Jacques and Johnny have trouble waking Pierre up.
Diesel vs. Sid Garrison
Oh yeah Diesel is still a thing. Diesel powers him into the corner with ease and a neck crank fills in more time. A big boot and an elbow drop of all things put Sid away.
Rating: D. It’s not a good sign when I forgot that Diesel was a thing at this point but that’s what you have to expect when Shawn was put out of action just a few months after Diesel debuted. There really wasn’t much of a point to do anything with him which explains his fairly random association with IRS at Survivor Series.
Survivor Series control center. There’s not much here other than the announcement that Pierre has a concussion and may be out of the main event.
We wrap it up in Nashville with Jeff Jarrett yelling at I think the record producer (as portrayed by the future Jacqueline). He’ll be fine despite the lack of backup though.
Overall Rating: D-. Oh yeah this was bad. Survivor Series is almost here but they’re not exactly hitting the ground running with one change after another. Undertaker is a good addition and Pierre is a better subtraction but they need to just announce the teams already and be done with it because these constant changes are getting really annoying to keep up with.
One more note: there is no November 22 show as Survivor Series was two nights later. Instead there was a clipped version of a big special called Survivor Series Showdown which aired the night before. For reasons I don’t quite understand, this was listed as a lost episode of Raw, which I think had something to do with getting to Raw 1000. It was finally aired on WWE.com a few years back and it was actually pretty good. Here’s the link if you’re interested:
Monday Night Raw – November 8, 1993: DOWN GOES VINCE!
Monday Night Raw Date: November 8, 1993
Location: Fernwood Resort, Bushkill, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Bobby Heenan, Randy Savage
We’re creeping towards Survivor Series and hopefully things are better this week after such a disaster last time around. The big story is of course the Foreign Fanatics vs. the All Americans and tonight we’ll be seeing Ludvig Borga vs. Scott Steiner in a preview match. Let’s get to it.
Borga talks about how much he hates America so Steiner says he doesn’t like Borga talking about how much he hates America. Well no one ever accused this of being the most exciting era.
Opening sequence.
Heenan is wearing what looks like a parachute because recently someone parachuted into a big boxing match. As usual, topical jokes really aren’t funny. Savage promises to destroy Crush if he gets the chance.
Vince plugs a phone number where you can select Pierre’s opponent for next week. Your options are: Doink the Clown, the 1-2-3 Kid or Lex Luger. After that obvious set of choices, Vince pulls the cord on Bobby’s parachute, which he has on backwards.
Scott Steiner vs. Ludvig Borga
Borga jumps him before the jacket can come off and scores with a good looking top rope clothesline. Scott demonstrates the American abilities to suplex foreigners, followed by a pumphandle slam to send Ludvig to the floor. We hit the pause button while Borga yells a lot, followed by a shot of Savage yelling about Crush again. Borga grabs a headlock as Savage rants about not caring about legal issues, even promising to slap Jack Tunney if it means he can get his hands on Crush.
Steiner avoids an elbow drop but here are the Quebecers to offer Borga some advice. Vince: “This is patently absurd!” Back from a break with Steiner suplexing him back inside as Rick Steiner comes out to even things up a bit. Borga finally makes the ropes to break up a Boston crab so Scott goes with a bad looking top rope dropkick for two. Rick gets on the apron for no logical reason and Borga pulls him inside. The Quebecers get in as well and the match is thrown out.
Rating: D+. This didn’t go anywhere and you knew they were going to have the big nothing finish as soon as Rick came out there. Borga could have been a great heel if he hadn’t been as crazy as he was but he was really cool while he lasted. Scott wasn’t a great singles guy anymore at this point but he was still a very appropriate choice to face Borga here.
Jeff Jarrett is still in Nashville and it’s time to go to the Grand Ole Opry. Country music is corrupt or something. This turns into a discussion of Undertaker being in shambles. Jarrett just keeps going and it gets worse and worse every minute as no one cares in the slightest.
Men on a Mission vs. Steve Smith/Cory Student
Mable is still dancing when Smith taps him on the shoulder for no logical reason. That earns him a trip around the ring before a double dropkick (with maybe one foot combined making contact) puts him down. Mo’s sunset flip gets two on Student (what a name) as the announcers make jokes about an upcoming USA movie. We hit the chinlock for a bit before the double splash puts Student away.
Rating: D. I never know what to say about these squash matches as they’re just beatings until we get to the inevitable pin. Men on a Mission were entertaining in a way but they haven’t exactly aged well. It doesn’t help that Oscar is one of the worst wrestling rappers this side of PN News.
We go to the Survivor Series control center as we run down the card, including the Hart Family facing Jerry Lawler and his Knights, which of course wouldn’t happen. Bret can’t wait to get his hands on Lawler for everything he’s said about the family.
Still in the control center, we see the Headshrinkers finding out that they’ll be facing a pair Doinks. Oh just……no.
Undertaker tells us that drinking and driving is bad. That’s not something you expect to see.
Rick Martel vs. John Paul
Martel starts with the usual as Vince speculates that Savage might replace Tatanka on the All Americans team. Paul grabs a headlock but gets suplexed down. Martel ducks a middle rope cross body and the Boston crab wraps it up in a hurry.
Crush vs. Dan Dubiel
Vince immediately has to calm Savage down by waistlocking him but Savage THROWS VINCE DOWN! IN 1993!!! Savage erupts on Crush with referees and suits not being able to break it up.
Bob Backlund vs. Barry Horowitz
How weird is it that Backlund is still around nearly 23 years after his comeback in his forties here? They trade armdrags to start before Backlund takes him down with ease. Cue Savage back to the announcers’ desk as the technical display continues. And never mind as we cut to Crush breaking out of his locker room, sending Savage to the back. They fight onto the streets as the match is completely forgotten to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. It’s nice that they have a direction going towards Survivor Series though the ridiculous amount of changes they’re making to the card isn’t doing them any favors. The big match wasn’t exactly thrilling but Savage vs. Crush is a hot angle that they somehow waited five months to blow off. Not much of a show here but 1993 isn’t the best time.
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Monday Night Raw – July 25, 2016: The Newer New Era
Monday Night Raw Date: July 25, 2016
Location: CONSOL Energy Arena, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Commentators: Corey Graves, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
After three months of a new era, we’re actually in a New Era as we’ve reached the first show with an exclusive Raw roster, which means a lot of things that aren’t entirely clear. We don’t officially have a World Champion as Dean Ambrose retained the title last night to keep it on Smackdown. Hopefully tonight we actually get some answers to the questions left over from the Draft so let’s get to it.
Quick look at the main event.
Opening sequence, complete with a new logo and theme song.
The announcers are no longer at ringside and are up by the entrance instead. There’s also a new set.
Mick Foley and Stephanie McMahon are in the ring to introduce the entire Raw roster. Stephanie blames Reigns for costing them the title and says there has never been an episode of Monday Night Raw without a World Champion (Uh……what? Just……what?) so tonight they’re going to rectify that problem. Tonight there will be two fourways with the winners squaring off tonight for the right to go to Summerslam to face Seth Rollins for the…..wait for it….WWE Universal Heavyweight Championship (Killjoy is going to love that one). Foley introduces the eight people in the fourways:
Sami Zayn
Sheamus
Cesaro
Rusev
Roman Reigns
Kevin Owens
Chris Jericho
Finn Balor
We’re not done yet though as Charlotte is going to be defending the Women’s Title against Sasha Banks. The first fourway is right now.
Cesaro vs. Rusev vs. Kevin Owens vs. Finn Balor
Owens gets a big pop but the crowd doesn’t seem to know Balor’s pose yet. They’ll get the hang of it soon enough. Balor and Owens are left inside with Finn scoring off a dropkick but Cesaro takes over with some uppercuts as we hit a break less than ninety seconds after the bell. Back with Owens and Rusev staring each other down until Balor comes back in to get caught in a German suplex.
Cesaro gets double teamed as well but Rusev misses a top rope splash. The heels start fighting until Cesaro cross bodies both of them. The uppercut train starts up but Rusev breaks up the Swing. Everyone goes to the floor and it’s Balor hitting a big flip dive for his first major pop of the night. Back in and 1916 (lifting reverse DDT) gets two on Cesaro and we take another break. We come back again with Rusev at the base of a Tower of Doom to plant everyone at the same time.
Owens gets two on Balor with the torture rack neckbreaker. The Bullfrog Splash crushes Cesaro and the Pop Up Powerbomb plants Balor. The Neutralizer is broken up though and Rusev grabs the Accolade on Owens. Cesaro comes back in and Swings Rusev, only to have Owens break up the Sharpshooter. Balor comes right back in with dropkicks though and the Coup de Grace puts Rusev away at 20:31.
Rating: B. I can’t even get mad at them for having the US Champion get pinned again when Cesaro was right there. This was really the only way to go with this match as you don’t have Balor debut and then lose in his first match. I don’t need him to go to the title match at Summerslam but he needs to have a dirty finish tonight. Good match here though and a good way to showcase Balor, which was the entire point.
Nia Jax vs. Brit Baker
Nia throws her around to start and ties her in the Tree of Woe. The legdrop only gets two as Nia pulls her up. A headbutt and another legdrop put Baker away at 1:20. Total squash.
Golden Truth are playing Pokemon Go and annoy Sasha Banks. Sasha says she’ll win tonight.
Sheamus vs. Chris Jericho vs. Sami Zayn vs. Roman Reigns
Sheamus and Jericho double team Reigns to start and Sami joins in on the beating. Reigns is sent to the floor so it’s Sami getting beaten down by both guys until Sami backdrops Jericho onto Sheamus. That means it’s time for Reigns to come back in and slam Sami down for two as the announcers talk about Stephanie. Sheamus comes back in for the ten forearms on Sami until Jericho knocks the Irishman to the floor. Reigns hits the big dive to take all of them out and we go to a break.
Back with Reigns getting double teamed but fighting back, only to get caught in a Blue Thunder Bomb for a very hot near fall. The Razor’s Edge sitout powerbomb gets two on Sami but the Brogue Kick cuts off the Superman Punch. Sami adds a Helluva Kick, only to have Jericho steal the near fall. A Brogue Kick saves Jericho from the Walls but Sami dives over to break up the cover. Back to back Superman Punches drop the heels and the Codebreaker is countered into…..something botched. Jericho takes another Superman Punch and the spear advances Reigns at 17:06.
Rating: C+. Not in the same ballpark as the first match with Sami and Sheamus basically disappearing in the last few minutes. Reigns winning was predictable and I’d be shocked if they went with Balor vs. Rollins for the title. They’re running a risk of having Reigns get back into the title picture so soon but I don’t think there was ever any real doubt.
Here’s New Day to celebrate 337 days as Tag Team Champions. After Woods says he’s glad Bray was drafted to Smackdown and a quick BootyO’s ad, we get a montage of the title reign. Tonight, New Day is going to let a member of the crowd be an honorary member of New Day, but the question is who.
They pick a somewhat rotund man in a New Day shirt and Big E. asks sonny boy what his name is. Man: “Sonny Boy.” Kofi: “No your government name.” Man: “Sonny Boy.” New Day doesn’t quite buy this and ask if that’s the name that comes on his bills or how he signs the check at restaurants. The dancing is on but the Club comes out to interrupt and beat the champs down. Big E. takes a Magic Killer and the other two lose their shirts. The Club talk trash to Sonny Boy and throw a shirt at him.
Curtis Axel vs. Neville
Axel is listed as Mr. Irrelevant because he was picked last. Neville snaps off a neckbreaker to start and flips over him a few times. A standing shooting star to the back keeps Axel in trouble and the lifting German suplex puts him in the corner. The Red Arrow puts Curtis away at 3:45.
Rating: D+. Neville is still Neville, meaning he still does almost every spot he has in each match which explains why they get weaker and weaker reactions every single time (see also Cesaro). Axel continues to be treated like a goof, especially when he should just be Joe Hennig and be Mr. Perfect II but that’s too easy for WWE for reasons I don’t understand.
Darren Young wants the Intercontinental Title but Bob Backlund’s pep talk is cut off by the Pokemon Go hunt. Backlund yells a lot.
Video on Finn Balor.
Charlotte thinks Sasha will crack under the pressure tonight.
Women’s Title: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending. They lock up and go down to the mat with a rollup freaking the champ out. Dana offers a quick distraction and earns an early reprimand. Banks grabs a quick Bank Statement but only gets a modified version of the hold, allowing Charlotte to escape. That’s nice of her. Instead Sasha sends her outside for the double knees from the apron and a near fall.
Charlotte kicks Sasha into the corner and then drives her into the barricade, setting up some trash talking with the belt in hand. Dana picks up the dropped belt and Sasha feigns an attack, earning Dana an ejection. Why this isn’t a DQ isn’t clear but it takes us to a break. Back with Sasha fighting out of a double arm crank and hitting more running knees. Charlotte grabs a quick neckbreaker but has to bail out of the moonsault. That’s fine as she lands on her feet (because she can), only to have a flip dive blocked by raised boots. Sasha sends her to the floor for a dive with a SCARY landing as Banks came down on her face.
She’s fine enough to cover Charlotte for two but the champ sends her outside for a huge moonsault to a standing Sasha. I mean, she barely made contact but dang it looked cool. Back in and Natural Selection gets two so we hit the Figure Four. The hold is rolled over but Charlotte goes under the ropes and bends the hold over the apron. Back in and Sasha flips out of another Figure four to grab the Bank Statement but Charlotte’s foot is under the ropes. Another Bank Statement gives Sasha the title in a big surprise at 16:53.
Rating: B+. Botches aside, this was a good match and felt like a big deal. Sasha winning feels like a crowning achievement, despite a limited build and WASTING THREE MONTHS ON THAT CHARLOTTE VS. NATALYA FEUD SO WE CAN CHANGE THE TITLE ON RAW. In theory this sets up either a rematch in Brooklyn or maybe a full time Bayley call up for a shot at Summerslam.
Sasha gives a quick speech about how she’s earned this and this is a new era.
Braun Strowman vs. James Ellsworth
Before the match, James thinks it would be a big win for his career and anyone with two hands can fight. A quick beating sets up a reverse chokeslam to give Strowman the pin at 1:10.
Video on Roman Reigns.
Golden Truth is STILL hunting for Pokemon and find……the Pittsburgh Penguins logo?
Here are Enzo and Cass for a chat about various raw foods. They’re cut off by the Shining Stars of all people and it’s time for a match.
Shining Stars vs. Enzo Amore/Big Cass
Primo puts Enzo down for all of thirty seconds before the hot tag brings in Cass to clean house. Cass actually gets low bridged to the floor but here are Golden Truth on the Pokemon hunt. The distraction lets Cass kick Epico in the face for the pin at 1:51. These guys were teaming with JOHN CENA last night and now they’re here?
Roman and Finn wish each other luck.
Finn Balor vs. Roman Reigns
Winner goes to Summerslam to face Rollins for the title. Reigns launches him into the corner to start but Balor snaps his throat across the top. Some kicks to the head don’t have much effect on Reigns as he runs Balor over again. The apron boot misses though and Balor’s slingshot double stomp has Roman in trouble.
We take a break and come back with Roman powerslamming him for two and grabbing a chinlock. A sitout powerbomb gets two but Balor comes back with a string of kicks for a near fall of his own. The Superman Punch only gets two on Balor and everyone is stunned. Balor gets two off his own off a sunset flip to counter the Razor’s Edge bomb. Back to back powerbombs get two more on Finn but Balor grabs a Sling Blade to block the spear. The Coup de Grace gets the big upset pin at 13:57.
Rating: B. I liked it better when AJ Styles did this the night after Wrestlemania but it’s still a good ending and the right call for a change. There was really no need to do Reigns vs. Rollins again and this is a great way to make Balor seem like a big deal. He doesn’t necessarily need to win the title at Summerslam but it’s a really smart idea to have him get a big rub like this on his first night on the main roster.
Post match Reigns says he hopes Balor wins the title because he wants another shot at Finn.
Overall Rating: B. This was up and down all night but the main event and the title change were enough to swing it upwards. That title change really needed to happen as the rest of the show didn’t exactly have a lot going on. The re-debuts were good and the matches made some people fresh players but that doesn’t mean the show was all that entertaining. I really liked the lack of authority figures as they just don’t need to be there that often. Overall it’s a good show but absolutely nothing that blew me away.
Results
Finn Balor b. Rusev, Cesaro and Kevin Owens – Coup de Grace to Rusev
Nia Jax b. Brit Baker – Legdrop
Roman Reigns b. Sami Zayn, Sheamus and Chris Jericho – Spear to Jericho
Neville b. Curtis Axel – Red Arrow
Sasha Banks b. Charlotte – Bank Statement
Braun Strowman b. James Ellsworth – Reverse chokeslam
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Shining Stars – Big boot to Epico
Finn Balor b. Roman Reigns – Coup de Grace
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Monday Night Raw – March 25, 2002 (2016 Redo): When It Was All About Stephanie
Monday Night Raw Date: March 25, 2002
Location: Bryce Jordan Center, State College, Pennsylvania
Attendance: 15,550
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This seemed due for a second look since they’re doing it all again this year. We’re just after Wrestlemania XVIII and things are kind of in a lull. With so many wrestlers and no big evil for the WWF to fight (since the WCW/ECW Invasion just had to be started and wrapped up by Thanksgiving), it was decided to split the rosters in two. This was a really cool idea at the time but it should be interesting to see how it worked when the initial Brand Extension isn’t the most fondly remembered concept. Let’s get to it.
Linda McMahon is in WWF Studios to welcome us to the show, telling us that only twenty picks will be made tonight for the sake of time. The changes won’t officially take place until next week so everyone will be on Smackdown this week. As for tonight though, HHH, Chris Jericho and Stephanie McMahon can’t be drafted because they’re in a triple threat for the World Title (Yes Stephanie was getting a World Title shot and was a major focus fourteen years ago as well.). Steve Austin can’t be drafted either due to a contractual stipulation (read as a real life contract dispute) and is therefore a free agent and can sign wherever he wants.
Opening sequence.
There are PODIUMS ON THE STAGE! YES I SAID PODIUMS!!!
Tazz vs. Mr. Perfect
Perfect wouldn’t be around much longer due to a certain airplane ride (long and bad story). After promising to be a perfect pick, Perfect dropkicks him at the bell as we’re told that the WWF and Women’s Champion can compete on both shows. An early PerfectPlex gets two as Tazz is next to the ropes. Perfect charges into a boot and the Tazmission finishes quick. I wouldn’t expect to see a lot of strong wrestling tonight.
Tazz says the perfect pick has become just another victim.
Ric Flair (Raw owner) and Arn Anderson are in their war room to go over their draft options.
Vince’s war room is just an office. He has the first pick and a photo of Kurt Angle is visible on his desk.
Here’s Vince for the first pick, which I’m sure will involve a speech. The first pick for Smackdown will be…..the Rock. Well who else was it going to be? Rock leaves the locker room (walking past Undertaker and Hogan who are among the masses in a nice touch) as we see a quick graphic showing his career highlights.
Vince tells Rock that he’s not allowed to put his hands on him or threatening to put his boots in various places or saying IT DOESN’T MATTER ever again. The fans cut him off with a ROCKY chant so Vince says he made both Hogan and the Rock. The boss goes to leave but Rock isn’t quite done yet. To be fair he hasn’t said anything yet so he hasn’t actually started.
Rock wants to go out on Raw with a bang because he won the WWF World Title here, formed the Rock and Sock Connection here and did various things to Vince. We hit some catchphrases before Rock has them do the Penn State chant (WE ARE…..PENN STATE) and then alters it to insult Vince even more. This was just a Rock’s greatest hits stretched over about ten minutes.
Ric comes out and picks Undertaker #1 overall despite hating him.
Kurt Angle comes in to yell at Vince for not picking him first. Vince talks about throwing Flair a swerve out there (By picking the Rock?) when Undertaker comes in to yell. The boss promises to make this right.
Edge/Diamond Dallas Page vs. Christian/Booker T.
Two feuds in one here but Edge is about to start a really good feud with Angle. Booker kicks Edge in the face to start and Christian gets two off a powerslam. A quick clothesline drops Christian though as the announcers talk about Austin having a clause in his contract to make sure he’s a free agent. In case of a Brand Split you see. Booker eats the Diamond Cutter but Christian gives him an Unprettier. A quick scissors kick puts Page away in a nothing match.
Angle reads off his resume until Vince makes him the #2 pick.
Ric picks the NWO (Hall/Nash/X-Pac) because that’s something you can do. I can’t wait for that Rock vs. Nash match. The NWO is uh….not in the locker room.
Vince yells at Angle for getting the NWO (who Vince brought in to poison the company) and promises to sign Austin. Angle suggests Chris Benoit (currently out with an injury but coming back soon.) with the next pick so Vince makes him #3. Benoit would return in July and just show up on Raw with no mention of being drafted to Smackdown. If nothing else it’s a good idea to have some of these picks backstage as there’s no reason to have them both come out here every time.
We see both brands’ big boards and JR thinks Flair’s strategy is, uh, strange.
The NWO threatens Ric so he picks Kane to keep an eye on them. Aside from X-Pac, Hall is now the second shortest member of the roster.
Trish Stratus vs. Ivory
Ivory returned last week to start a feud with Trish. They start fast with Ivory hammering away and ducking a middle rope cross body. Trish fights out of a chinlock and grabs the Stratusphere, followed by the Stratusfaction for another nothing match.
Vince picks Hulk Hogan, whose graphic incorrectly lists him as a seven time WCW Champion.
After a break, Ric picks Intercontinental Champion Rob Van Dam.
Vince is ticked because he wanted the title so Angle suggests giving him an Intercontinental Title shot tonight so he can bring the title to Smackdown. Vince: “That’s why you’re the number two draft pick! Maybe he should have been #1.”
Rock and Hogan have a bro moment where they praise the people. Ignoring the whole attempted murder thing from a few weeks ago, Rock agrees to team up against the NWO in a handicap match.
Vince picks Billy and Chuck as a unit.
The Rock/Hulk Hogan vs. NWO
The NWO powerbombed Rock through a table on Smackdown until Hogan made the save to set this up. Hogan and X-Pac get things going with a big shove sending the smaller one out to the floor. Hall gets pushed down with ease so it’s off to Nash who can actually shove Hulk down.
Hogan cleans house with ease but he takes too long loading up a backdrop and gets kicked in the face. It’s off to X-Pac for more kicks but Hogan knocks him away and makes the tag off to Rock. Things finally speed up and X-Pac is easily knocked to the floor. The Rock Bottom and legdrop get two on Nash with X-Pac making the save. It’s a three on two beatdown until Kane comes out for the DQ.
Rating: F. Were you expecting anything else? It says a lot when the match lasts five minutes and is this boring with a screwy ending. I mean, X-Pac can’t take a fall to the combined forces of Hulk Hogan and the Rock? I could go for an entertaining match at some point tonight but I’m not feeling confident at this point.
The NWO runs off.
Vince accuses Ric of sending Kane out there so Flair takes Booker T. Vince: “Edge!” Ric: “Big Show!” Vince: “Rikishi!”
Jeff Hardy vs. Billy
Lita, Matt, Chuck and Rico are all at ringside. Billy fires off some right hands in the corner to start but misses a charge. The announcers talk about being drafted to different shows as Jeff hits a tornado DDT. The Swanton misses though as Lita completely botches a hurricanrana to Rico (her legs weren’t around his head and he had to flip himself). Jeff grabs a rollup for a fluke pin in another nothing match.
Ric picks Bubba Ray Dudley so he can have “the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Vince: “Well Ric it looks like you’re trying to get the most dominant tag team in WWF history.” Did Stephanie write this segment? Vince picks D-Von to balance things out.
The Dudleys, realizing their careers are pretty much over for the time being, hug it out.
European Title: William Regal vs. Rikishi
Regal is defending. And never mind as Brock Lesnar runs out and flattens Rikishi with an F5.
Jazz wants to see where the Divas end up.
Vince comes out to pick Brock but Ric says it’s his pick and he’ll select Brock instead. Vince: “Mark Henry!” Ric: “William Regal!” Vince: “Maven!” (Hardcore Champion). Ric: “Lita!” Vince gets on him for choosing a woman and thinks Ric just wants to sleep with her. Well duh.
Here are the picks:
Smackdown
1. The Rock
2. Kurt Angle
3. Chris Benoit
4. Hulk Hogan
5. Billy and Chuck
6. Edge
7. Rikishi
8. D-Von Dudley
9. Mark Henry
10. Maven
Raw
1. Undertaker
2. NWO
3. Kane
4. Rob Van Dam
5. Booker T.
6. Big Show
7. Bubba Ray Dudley
8. Brock Lesnar
9. William Regal
10. Lita
Riveting no?
Intercontinental Title: Kurt Angle vs. Rob Van Dam
Angle is challenging and grabs a German suplex for two as the bell rings. Van Dam gets stomped down as the fans chant USA. I’d assume for Angle, even though Michigan is just as American as Pennsylvania. Van Dam kicks him in the head and gets two off Rolling Thunder. Angle pulls the referee in the way of a top rope kick for the DQ.
Kurt puts on the ankle lock until Edge makes the save.
Stephanie is ready to win the title.
WWF World Title: HHH vs. Chris Jericho vs. Stephanie McMahon
HHH is defending and the challengers have a business relationship. I have no idea why they never had a romantic relationship as that could have been amazing. If HHH pins Stephanie, she’s gone FOREVER. HHH backdrops the real wrestler to start but has to look at Stephanie so Jericho can chop away. Stephanie lays down so Jericho can cover her for two but he has to save her from the Pedigree.
HHH catapults Jericho into Stephanie so we can have the falling low blow spot. Thankfully HHH kicks her to the floor so we can have an actual match for a bit. Of course Stephanie won’t STAY AWAY FROM THE MATCH as she just has to come back in to screech about how Jericho needs to work on the leg. Stephanie gets run over by mistake so she slaps Jericho and demands that he get HHH. Jericho clotheslines her by mistake but gets sent to the floor, allowing HHH to tease another Pedigree. Naturally that can’t happen because the fans love waiting on her getting her comeuppance instead of actually getting it.
Jericho grabs the belts (this was when there was no Undisputed Title belt yet) for a double knockout, meaning Stephanie can cover both of them. The Walls have HHH in trouble but Stephanie breaks them up by jumping on Jericho’s back. A Pedigree gets rid of Jericho but THERE SHE IS AGAIN. HHH has finally had enough and hits a spinebuster (because we can’t hurt her perfect face) to retain.
Rating: D-. They couldn’t even do a good match (which these two are certainly capable of having) because that wasn’t the point here. Yeah a Wrestlemania main event rematch for the title eight days later wasn’t the focus. Instead, as I’m sure you can tell, this was ALL about Stephanie and there was no hiding it. Of course her being gone “forever” lasted less than four months as she was brought back as the completely face GM of Smackdown because she’s just so darn loveable that we can forgive this along with the whole Alliance thing last year.
Here’s the thing: what exactly did Stephanie add to this? Why couldn’t this have just been HHH vs. Jericho with Stephanie leaving if Jericho lost? It’s actually a good match, Jericho is fine with losing a fall to the champ and the guys don’t have to keep stopping so often so she can catch up. Horrible match of course and completely not HHH and Jericho’s fault, but since it can’t be Stephanie’s fault either (as nothing ever can be), we’ll blame….uh….oh yeah the referee. HE RUINED IT!
Stephanie of course freaks out and tries to hang on to anything she can before security takes her away. HHH sings the Goodbye Song to end the show. This was a special bonus in case you didn’t get that you were watching Monday Night Stephanie.
Overall Rating: F. Oh sweet goodness what a mess. First of all, the match of the night was……uhhh…..you know what it was actually Mr. Perfect against Tazz in a match lasting 1:53. That’s not to say it was good but it didn’t have a major botch, a stupid ending or the powers of Stephanie holding it back.
Other than that though, this was a complete disaster with Smackdown being stacked, Raw basically begging Austin to come back and save the thing and the “wrestling” being little more than background noise. This was somehow worse than I remembered it, which is covering quite a bit of ground as I remember this show being horrible the last time I watched it.
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Monday Night Raw – July 18, 2016: The Lame Duck Go Home Game Changing Show (Updated)
Monday Night Raw Date: July 18, 2016
Location: Dunkin’ Donuts Center, Providence, Rhode Island
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
This is a unique show as it’s kind of a big night but also kind of a lame duck show while also being the go home show for a pay per view. The Draft is tomorrow night but there’s also a World Title match as champion Dean Ambrose defends against Seth Rollins. The show is also going to open with the announcement of the new General Managers for both shows. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Here are Shane and Stephanie to open things up. They have their standard bickering that makes award show presenters seem like Bogart and Bergman before arguing over testicles vs. lady balls. Stephanie’s big announcement: there’s going to be a new Cruiserweight division on Raw. Shane mentions his General Manager and the YES chants begin. That’s cut off just as quickly though as Stephanie Raw’s General Manager: Mick Foley. I wouldn’t have bet on that one but I’d be shocked if he’s still around by TLC.
After Stephanie awkwardly dances to his music. Foley compares the feeling here to the Attitude Era because IT’S THE GREATEST THING EVER and feels like the MONDAY NIGHT WARS ALL OVER AGAIN BABY! Stephanie calling him made the little embers turned into a fire. He’s ready to bring Raw to new heights and all that jazz.
Shane brings out his own General Manager with the worst kept secret in wrestling this year: Daniel Bryan. Daniel won’t shake Stephanie’s hand before he talks about how much he missed the people. Naturally Stephanie cuts him off to suggest he pander to the fans. See she doesn’t get it because they’ve never cheered for her. Stephanie: “They did once!”
Bryan talks about how he heard Shane’s ideas for a show where wrestlers are put first and he wanted to come back. When he beat HHH at Wrestlemania XXX (Stephanie: “Technicality.”) and won the WWE World Title, he and the fans did that together. Stephanie gets in her B+ jokes and Shane says Stephanie can only stay relevant by marrying a WWE superstar. One last YES chant takes us out.
Chris Jericho/Kevin Owens vs. Sami Zayn/Cesaro
Cesaro gutwrenches Jericho to start before it’s off to Sami so things can speed up a bit. An Owens distraction lets Jericho get in a shot though and we take a break. Back with Jericho still in control over Sami and sending him out to the floor. Sami gets in a few shots of his own though and the hot tag brings in Cesaro.
That means it’s time for the uppercut train and the springboard spinning uppercut for two on Jericho. Owens and Sami come in off the double tags but Jericho breaks up the Helluva Kick. Cesaro’s high cross body gets two on Chris and the Swing makes it even worse. Everything breaks down and Sami tornado DDTs Owens before small packaging Jericho for the pin at 12:02.
Rating: C. In case you didn’t get enough of these guys during the Money in the Bank build. I love Sami getting a pin here though it should be interesting to see what happens with all four of these guys tomorrow night. Jericho and Cesaro not having matches on Sunday doesn’t say much for either of them but that’s their norm all around.
Golden Truth, Titus O’Neil and Jack Swagger try to get on Daniel Bryan’s good side until Stephanie interrupts. They insult each other (with jabs about Daniel and Brie planting peaches) for a bit until Daniel says she ruined Raw.
Alberto Del Rio vs. Darren Young
Miz is on commentary. Del Rio sends him into the corner to start and works on the arm as Miz gets in his second plug for Bob Backlund’s book. Young comes back with a backdrop and atomic drop as we flash back to the 70s. A Miz distraction earns himself a forearm to the face, allowing Darren to roll up Del Rio (with a Backlund style bridge) for the pin at 2:33.
It’s time for a twelve man tag but Cena comes out first and says it’s an interesting time in WWE with Battleground being the icing on the cake. The Club is going to try to beat up Cena on Sunday but he has the Certified G’s. Enzo says the term “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate so don’t take this the wrong way but the Club is like a bunch of herbs.
Without ugliness in the world there can be no beauty so thanks for your sacrifice Gallows. AJ has a haircut like a soccer mom and Anderson is as generic as Times New Roman. Cena thinks Enzo is just a catchphrase machine but Cass says that’s what he does. That’s what makes them the best trio in the world like Nirvana, Destiny’s Child or the Wu Tang Clan.
Enzo: “How you doin?” Cena: “I don’t know how I’m doing!” He thinks they need to get serious but the Club cuts off the S-A-W-F-T line. AJ accuses them of meeting a few weeks ago over a bowl of candy at catering and thinks they can beat up everyone on the team tonight. Cue New Day to talk about going to the Wyatts’ compound but AJ makes fun of Woods for being scared.
That goes nowhere so New Day explains How You Doin to Cena. Naturally this turns into a Pokemon Go reference with Woods listing off the ones he’s captured but Cena cuts him off, only to be cut off with a NEW DAY ROCKS chant. This brings out the Wyatts as it turns out we actually have a match to get to.
John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass/New Day vs. The Club/Wyatt Family
This is joined in progress after a break with Gallows coming in to shoulder Cena down. That brings in Big E. for a power showdown, only to have a little gyrating first. Now we get Strowman coming in to run Big E. over but Enzo tags himself in. Woods plays some trombone and Enzo bounces off Strowman so it’s time for Cass to try his luck. A shove to Cena triggers a huge brawl until it’s back to Strowman and Cass with the big boot staggering Braun. Kofi tries to dive in but gets slammed down by Braun as we take a break.
While we’re on commercial, it deserves to be pointed out how good of a job they’ve done with Cass. Him staring down Strowman felt more like a big deal than anytime Lesnar did it and I actually bought Cass as a threat to hurt him. That’s very impressive and a great sign for him to come.
Back with Bray charging into Kofi’s pendulum kick and a diving tag to bring in Cena. The finishing sequence is initiated but Bray brings the spider walk out of mothballs to shut him down. Rowan grabs a chinlock and the heels start taking turns on Cena. Gallows misses a splash and we take another break.
We come back again with Bray missing his backsplash to Cena, allowing the hot tag to Cass. Everything breaks down again and New Day cleans house on the Wyatts. Woods hits a big flip dive to take them all out but Gallows breaks up Bada Book Shakalacka. New Day and the Wyatts fight up the ramp, leaving Enzo to clothesline Cena by mistake. The Styles Clash ends Amore at 18:58.
Rating: B+. This is even more impressive when you consider how many people had to be incorporated here. The ending really pushes the idea that Cena/Enzo/Cass don’t know each other well enough to fight off a well oiled machine like the Club which is a really logical point to make. New Day vs. Wyatts could be a lot of fun and this was a nice preview. Really good stuff here with the pre-match promo being just as great.
Earlier today, Seth Rollins was in the empty arena (well save for the cameramen) to talk about how they came through so many stands to fight. He was the brilliant mind and kept Ambrose around to take the beatings and Reigns around to dish them out. After Sunday, Reigns will never be the same again. Ambrose on the other hand is a coward who is running out of places to hide. This Sunday, Rollins will prove he was always the man.
We recap the opening segment.
Shane comes up to Foley in the back and suggests that Stephanie just hired him because he’ll connect with the fans while being manipulated. Foley appreciates the caring but thinks Stephanie has fire and drive. This would be another beloved face trying to put Stephanie over.
Baron Corbin vs. Sin Cara
This is Cara’s first match after the Lucha Dragons officially split. Corbin sends him into the corner to start but gets kicked away. A springboard elbow to the jaw staggers him but End of Days gives Baron the pin at 1:15.
Kalisto comes out for the post match save but gets beaten down as well.
Charlotte/Dana Brooke vs. Becky Lynch/Sasha Banks
Dana gets taken into the corner to start and it’s time for Becky’s early armbar. The spinning legdrop gets two on Dana but here’s Natalya to attack Lynch for the DQ at 2:22.
Sasha gets beaten down post match.
Rusev/Sheamus vs. Dolph Ziggler/Zack Ryder
Sheamus headlocks Ryder down to start and cuts off his comeback by hitting him in the face a few times. Rusev sends him into the barricade and it’s back to Sheamus for the slow beating. Sheamus won’t tag for some reason though and we hit the chinlock. Ryder dropkicks him down and makes the hot tag off to Ziggler as everything breaks down. Rusev kicks Ziggler in the back and it’s the Accolade for the submission at 3:45.
Rating: D+. Just a quick way to show off the idea that Rusev is awesome because we didn’t know that yet. Ryder needed a win here after that mess last week against Sheamus. Ryder is going to get destroyed on Sunday and I’m not sure where things go after that. Sheamus n the other hand continues to float, just like Ziggler. And no WWE, that’s not a hint about a bonus match for Sunday.
Video on Randy Orton.
Video on Cena hosting the ESPYs.
Daniel suggests a peace treaty with Mick Foley because they’re so much alike. Foley has no issue with Bryan but the battle is on.
Raw World Title: Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins is challenging and all the bosses are at ringside. Dean headlocks him to start and Seth bails out to the floor. The champ sends him into the barricade and we take a break. Back with Seth in control and putting on a chinlock. A hard right hand gives Seth some near falls before both try cross bodies at the same time. Dean fights up first and hammers on Seth a bit, including a forearm to put him on the floor.
There’s a big suicide dive but Rollins powerbombs him into the barricade. Back in and a frog splash gets two as we take another break. Back with Seth still in control and hitting his springboard knee to the head. Another frog splash misses though and Dean has an opening. It sounds like the fans are cheering for Rollins here.
Dirty Deeds gets two with Rollins putting his foot on the ropes. Seth rolls outside but comes right back in and counters the top rope clothesline into the Pedigree for two. With nothing else working, Seth loads up a superplex but Dean ties up the legs and it’s a double pin at 24:18.
Rating: B+. More really good stuff from these two but the ending comes off as a cheap way to have Sunday’s title match be for the vacant title. You knew they weren’t sticking with Ambrose on top for long because he’s not the “star” kind of guy and that’s the excuse they’re sticking with. I mean, Rollins may be a ratings disaster but he’s a STAR ratings disaster. Really good match here though and a big feeling title match.
Stephanie (of course) declares Rollins the new champion and Shane doesn’t say anything to close the show. You know you’ll see more of this on Sunday.
Overall Rating: A-. Like I said at the beginning, this was a very odd show without anything actually mattering until the ending but even that was odd. I’m sure there’s going to be an update tomorrow night but this comes off as a way to either set up a new World Title or to just give the belt back to Reigns like nothing ever happened. There are two great wrestling matches on here though and they were more than enough to make this show awesome, questionable ending aside.
So apparently after the show went off the air, a bonus clip aired on the Network where Ambrose was declared champion because it was a screwy finish. You know, because THREE HOURS AND EIGHT MINUTES isn’t enough content.
Results
Sami Zayn/Cesaro b. Kevin Owens/Chris Jericho – Small package to Jericho
Darren Young b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Wyatt Family/The Club b. Enzo Amore/Big Cass/John Cena/New Day – Styles Clash to Amore
Baron Corbin b. Sin Cara – End of Days
Sasha Banks/Becky Lynch b. Charlotte/Dana Brooke via DQ when Natalya interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book, KB’s WWE Grab Bag at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Monday Night Raw – July 11, 2016: This Close To Interesting
Monday Night Raw Date: July 11, 2016
Location: Joe Louis Arena, Detroit, Michigan
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Things are back to normal this week, or at least as back to normal as they’re going to be with just one more Raw after this before the Draft takes place. The only major event announced for tonight is Zack Ryder challenging Rusev for the United States Title after beating Sheamus twice last week. Let’s get to it.
First of all, on a personal note, Happy Anniversary Becca. Thanks for an amazing year and I love you.
Opening sequence.
Battle Royal
Goldust, Darren Young, Apollo Crews, Viktor, Konnor, Bubba Ray Dudley, D-Von Dudley, Dolph Ziggler, Bo Dallas, Simon Gotch, Aiden English, R-Truth, Baron Corbin, Jimmy Uso, Jey Uso, Jack Swagger, Alberto Del Rio, Curtis Axel
Winner gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Battleground so Miz and Maryse are on commentary. English is put out early and he lands near Bob Backlund, who is managing Young. R-Truth puts out Viktor and Bubba (Not D-Von, Cole.) gets rid of Axel. There goes Truth and Konnor follows him out. One Uso tries to eliminate the other but they settle with a double superkick to get rid of D-Von as we go to a break.
Back with Gotch and Jey having been eliminated during the break. Del Rio gets rid of Goldust and Crews eliminates Dallas as the ring is emptying out. Jimmy and Swagger are thrown out so we’re down to Crews, Bubba, Young, Del Rio, Corbin and Ziggler. Crews low bridges Bubba out and Del Rio is the only one left standing. Ziggler drops him with a Fameasser and goes for a cover out of instinct. That’s not enough to eliminate him though as Alberto comes back with a tilt-a-whirl gutbuster.
Alberto misses a charge and goes through the ropes, allowing Ziggler to superkick him to the floor which isn’t an elimination. Corbin sends Dolph to the apron but can’t get him out. Del Rio comes back in and gets backdropped out by Crews to put us down to four. Corbin gets rid of Ziggler but Crews gets rid of himself and Corbin, leaving Young to win the thing at 13:20.
Rating: D. You know what, why not? That’s certainly a unique way to win the match and it’s a nice way to have Young go somewhere after all those vignettes. I would have gone with Crews here but this could have been a lot worse. I mean, at least it’s not another battle of Cleveland with Ziggler vs. Miz. It was a pretty standard battle royal though, which is only going to be so entertaining.
Backlund picks Young up to celebrate.
Shane and Stephanie McMahon are talking about why Vince McMahon is going to be here tonight. Maybe it’s to give one of them a promotion. Seth Rollins comes in and thinks Vince is here to see about him as the face of the WWE. Rollins has footage for tonight and Shane thinks it should be on the Ambrose Asylum. Stephanie says no because she hates Dean (Have we ever gotten a reason other than he’s apparently an embarrassment to the company?) so Seth will get to debut the Rollins Report. Great. EVEN MORE talking.
Quick look at Brock Lesnar winning his return to the UFC on Saturday before he faces Randy Orton at Summerslam. Orton will be on the Highlight Reel at Battleground.
Zack Ryder comes up to challenge Rusev again but Sheamus jumps him from behind. Apparently there’s no title match tonight because Ryder will be facing Sheamus next. Three WOO’s for false advertising!
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder goes right after him to start and knocks Sheamus to the floor for a dropkick off the apron. Back in and a running boot to the face gets two for Zack as the announcers ignore the match to play fantasy draft. Not that it matters as the Brogue Kick ends Ryder at 2:22. I knew this was coming because this is how WWE works but thanks for YET ANOTHER waste of potential for the sake of a nothing match on Smackdown.
Rusev comes out and beats up Ryder as well while shouting that he accepts Ryder’s challenge. Wait, so Ryder is getting the title shot after Sheamus just beat him clean? SERIOUSLY? This is the kind of stuff you suggest in sarcasm because it’s the dumbest thing you could possibly do, not what you actually do on Raw.
Breezango vs. Lucha Dragons
This is due to the Dragons messing up Breeze’s vest on the pre-show. Fandango and Cara start things off and it’s time for more Draft talk. Cara headscissors him down but gets caught in the wrong corner to put him in trouble. Fandango is sent into the corner as well and the hot tag brings in Kalisto, who almost immediately botches a springboard. A few kicks to Breeze go better and the hurricanrana driver makes it worse. The numbers get the better of him though and Breeze gets in a superkick for the pin on Kalisto at 4:20.
Rating: D+. I can’t help it but I like Breezango. They’re just a goofy little midcard heel team but it’s not like there’s anything better for either of them to do. If nothing else it means we’re getting something out of that Golden Truth story, which went on forever and deserves to actually go somewhere. Also it’s not like the Dragons mean anything at this point anyway so them losing doesn’t exactly matter.
Here’s Seth Rollins for the Rollins Report. Tonight he has something special for us: footage from a special sitdown interview with Roman Reigns. Please tell me this isn’t going to be one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns’ answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing.
We see the footage and it’s…..one of those things where he asks questions and Reigns’ answers are to completely different questions and edited to sound embarrassing. Basically Reigns “admits” he did it and says he should be out of the triple threat because he’s no role model. Oh and he hates Dean being champion.
Back in the arena, Rollins says Ambrose should be out of the triple threat because he deserves his rematch for the title, one on one. Cue Ambrose but Rollins yells at him for being a coward and stealing the title from him at Money in the Bank. Dean says he loves to come out here and have a good time but he’s the top man in this industry. He’s more than just a joke and a utility player because he’s the only one still standing and the king of this company. Dean goes on about Rollins wanting another shot and offers a title shot anywhere any place. Rollins is ready right now but nah, not tonight. He’ll see Dean next week.
We get a quick preview of New Day fighting the Wyatt Family at their compound. This DEFINITELY looks like the Final Deletion.
Ambrose vs. Rollins for the title is confirmed for next week.
Kevin Owens vs. ???
Sami Zayn is on commentary but Kevin won’t come out until he’s gone. Stephanie comes in to say get rid of Sami because she’s all about solutions. Sami starts to leave but gets in a fight with Owens on the ramp. No match.
Vince arrives and says he’s here to name the Commissioner of Smackdown.
Kevin Owens vs. Cesaro
Time for more Draft talk! I know it’s a big deal but could you please talk about the actual match for more than two seconds first? Cesaro gutwrenches him over for two to start before they trade headlocks. A hurricanrana puts Owens down but he makes the ropes to break up the Swing. Owens takes over with a whip into the barricade as the announcers talk about where John Cena will be drafted. Cesaro’s suplex doesn’t break their focus but Owens knocks him into the barricade as we take a break.
Back with Cesaro fighting out of a chinlock and avoiding the Cannonball in the corner. The Pop Up Powerbomb is blocked and the springboard spinning uppercut gets two for Cesaro. Another running uppercut on the floor (with Cesaro wearing JBL’s hat) but Cesaro gets crotched on top to slow him down. Owens busts out a torture rack neckbreaker for the clean pin at 12:24.
Rating: C+. I like the finisher but I could go without Cesaro losing all over again. I mean to be fair he had that awesome run against Miz and came up short, which is his standard operating procedure. It’s still working, but at some point you’re just wasting a lot of potential and acting like Cesaro isn’t being hurt by all the losses.
Post match Owens grabs a headset to brag about how awesome he is until Sami Zayn jumps him from behind. Cesaro swings Owens in a meaningless gesture. Maybe he should, I don’t know, be upset about the loss?
The Club thinks John Cena is abandoning Enzo and Big Cass by hosting the ESPYs and not being here tonight. Maybe after the win they could hop on a plane and crash the awards so they can beat up John Cena.
Heath Slater vs. Titus O’Neil
We actually get a Slater Gator reference for a name I never thought (or hoped to) I’d hear again. Titus throws him around to start but runs into a raised boot in the corner. That means it’s time for a quick Bo-Train, followed by Slater getting two off a DDT. Titus starts powering back and catches a diving Heath in three straight backbreakers. The Clash of the Titus puts Heath away at 3:12.
Rating: D. Well that happened and I’m not sure what else there is to say about it. This is another short match that doesn’t seem to mean much but maybe that’s going to be the norm going forward. Titus winning is fine but I’m not sure where he’s going after losing to Rusev so decisively.
Sasha has been waiting to shut Dana Brooke up all weekend now and wants the title after that. Tonight, she gets real.
We look back at the Wyatt Family challenging the New Day to come to their compound last week.
Now we go to the compound, where a bunch of cars turn their lights on and try to crush New day as they get out of their truck. The editing makes this look like it’s being played in fast motion so it’s almost impossible to keep track of. The Wyatts arrive in a car and the brawl is on with New Day being beaten down with a variety of weapons. Woods hides behind a tree until Bray swings an ax at him and rams him into the tree trunk.
Kofi is shoved into some mud until Big E. suplexes Rowan. Strowman (who looks even more frightening with his shirt off) and Big E. hit each other a few times until Bray comes back and drops the unconscious Woods by the car. Kofi and Big E. are beaten down again as the editing gets even faster. Woods gets back up with a trashcan lid for a save but Bray beats everyone down and asks where the power of positivity is now.
New Day is sent into a car which is quickly beaten down but they escaped somewhere in there. Bray is left alone but smiles at New Day, who are freaked out by his laughter. Rowan and Strowman come back but a bunch of people in sheep masks appear, all holding lanterns. That’s enough for New Day as they bail, leaving Bray to say follow the buzzards.
Yes it’s clearly a takeoff from the Final Deletion and I’m sure I’ll hear about how much better TNA’s version was, though this was the serious version and exactly the kind of thing that made the Wyatts creepy in the first place. This really is something that has to be seen though as words really don’t do it justice. It worked though.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club
Enzo and Cass say they want Cena’s spot but they’re willing to earn it. The Club on the other hand think they can take it by beating Cena up 3-1. AJ tells them to walk away but Enzo says the only place they’re walking is into that ring right now. This is joined in progress after a break with Enzo trying to hold Anderson with a headlock. It’s quickly off to Gallows who headbutts Enzo back into the corner as the beatdown begins.
Karl comes back in for a headlock but Cass comes in and slams Enzo onto Anderson for two. To be fair Enzo might as well just be a projectile as I don’t think he’s entirely human. Gallows kicks Enzo in the face and sends him shoulder first into the post as we take a break. Back with Anderson and Gallows taking turns on Enzo. Anderson finally lets Enzo get away for the hot tag to Cass (Enzo’s signature) and a fall away slam sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka. AJ low bridges Gallows to the floor though and it’s a DQ at 10:48.
Rating: C. This was just a long beating on Enzo and to be fair that’s almost all he’s good for in a situation like this one. I like how much they’re protecting Cass though as I don’t think he’s been pinned yet and the Club actually lost here. The match was fine, albeit pretty basic for the most part. It’s acceptable though as you don’t want to burn the fans out on this match like they did with the Club vs. the Usos.
Post match the beating is almost on but here’s Cena, who was in Los Angeles earlier today, for the save. Well at least he’s not live via satellite. That earns him a big CENA chant which you really don’t hear that often.
Dana Brooke vs. Sasha Banks
Sasha shoves her outside to start and things instantly slow down. Back in and Dana talks a lot of trash before kneeing Sasha in the ribs. Banks is sent outside so Charlotte can brag us to a break. Back with Sasha in a chinlock (Charlotte: “Very good Dana.”) before stomping away in the corner. The announcers continue to talk about ANYTHING other than this match as Dana grabs another chinlock to keep things slow. Sasha fights out again and hits the double knees in the corner. Dana crotches her on top but Sasha pops right back up and grabs the Bank Statement for the win at 12:00.
Rating: C-. This was fine and another win for Sasha as that Natalya feud looks more and more pointless every single week. Dana is getting better in the ring as she’s not botching everything she tries but she still is on the main roster far sooner than she probably should have been.
Post match Charlotte says that’s not good enough so Sasha has to beat Dana again on Smackdown.
Here are Shane, Stephanie and Vince for the Smackdown Commissioner announcement. Vince thinks they’ve been doing a fair job but wonders how they could be his kids. Where’s the violence and anger? How could they not have stabbed each other in the back yet? What’s up with Stephanie being all passive aggressive and Shane having no ruthless aggression?
The kids are given a chance to convince their dad that they should be in charge of Smackdown and Stephanie goes first. Stephanie goes on a rant about what Shane said on the Mick Foley podcast about how he left when he wasn’t congratulated enough. That’s nothing compared to what he says behind Vince’s back because he’s all crazy and needing to be praised.
Shane says he came back in this arena five months ago and he’s eternally thankful. He’s ready to change everything about Smackdown and shatter the glass ceilings that Vince and Stephanie have set up. We get a quick fan poll with Shane easily winning which Stephanie attributes to crowd manipulation.
Vince doesn’t care what the people think but one of them has to run Smackdown. That will be…….Shane, while Stephanie runs Raw. Ah that’s better. For a second there I thought they might actually do something interesting. Vince wants them to compete for who gets the keys to the kingdom but they’ll both be naming General Managers. Great. MORE power struggles and double bosses for each show.
Vince leaves and Stephanie tells Shane she’s going to make him wish he was never born. Shane thinks Stephanie is hiding something and it’s fear. It’s game on, but Stephanie says she’s married to the only game in this business. She slaps him in the face so he kisses her on the cheek, only to have Stephanie slip off the steps as she leaves to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. I actually liked this show more than I was expecting to as it absolutely flew by. Even though it was just a big preview for the Draft next week (as it should have been), they kept it entertaining enough and set some stuff up going forward, which is all it was supposed to do. Unfortunately the ending really hurt things as it’s going to be all about the McMahons even longer, which is really the last thing they needed to go with but that’s how WWE works. Anyway, not a good show or anything but it was good enough for a show in a vacuum like everything else is around here at the moment.
Results
Darren Young won a battle royal after Baron Corbin and Apollo Crews eliminated each other
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder – Brogue Kick
Breezango b. Lucha Dragons – Superkick to Kalisto
Kevin Owens b. Cesaro – Torture rack neckbreaker
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. The Club via DQ when AJ Styles interfered
Sasha Banks b. Dana Brooke – Bank Statement
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Monday Night Raw – July 4, 2016: Half A Cheer For The Red Monday Night Show
Monday Night Raw Date: July 4, 2016
Location: Nationwide Arena, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Byron Saxton
Now this should be interesting as it’s another show where almost no one is going to be watching, meaning WWE isn’t likely to put much, if any, effort into the show. There’s a US Title match between Rusev and Titus O’Neil plus a big US vs. The World elimination tag match which will likely get a lot of time. Let’s get to it.
We open at the roster’s Fourth of July party with Golden Truth rapping in the background. The Vaudevillains take their place with English singing the Declaration of Independence, only to have food thrown at him. Miz and Maryse (who should wear red more often) go into a rant about how this is why we can’t celebrate holidays anymore, which turns into an ad for Smackdown going live in two weeks.
A massive food fight breaks out with Kane and Big Show getting into a chokeslam battle until Heath Slater throws something at them, earning himself a chokeslam through a table. Everyone else leaves with only Kevin Owens sitting at a table. Owens: “This would never happen on Canada Day.” Someone hits him with a pie and Owens freaks out. Total filler but it’s tradition at this point.
Opening sequence.
Lillian Garcia sings the National Anthem as we have red white and blue ropes again.
US Title: Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil
Rusev is defending and yes this is actually happening again. Titus is dressed like Apollo Creed for a nice touch. This is joined in progress after a break with Titus throwing Rusev around with ease before being tossed/suplexed out to the floor. Back in and we hit the chinlock for a bit before Titus fights up for the slugout. Some shoulders and a big boot put Rusev down, followed by a powerslam for no cover. The Clash of the Titus gets two and the announcers basically admit that it’s over. Rusev gets in some kicks to the head and the Accolade ends this at 5:53.
Rating: D+. Next. Like please, find ANYTHING to go with from here because this feud has been over from the second the match was announced in the first place. Titus was fine (ok that’s a stretch) enough for a one off match but this is something like four times that we’ve seen Rusev beat up Titus, save for a lame countout. This needs to end the whole thing though because it’s not interesting and never really was.
Miz vs. Ambrose tonight in your weekly Smackdown rematch.
Here are the Social Outcasts dressed as minutemen but are quickly cut off by Enzo and Big Cass. Enzo thinks we should have some star spangled banter because they’re stars and take meteor showers. Amore lists off the Presidents in order and it’s time for a match.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Social Outcasts
Bo and Curtis since Heath is still banged up from earlier. Enzo gets beaten down for all of a minute before Cass comes in to clean house with the usual. A big boot sets up the Bada Boom Shakalacka for the pin on Dallas at 2:03. In other words, the people dressed as the old school Americans get squashed.
Here are Charlotte and Dana Brooke with something to say. Charlotte talks about people being jealous of her and the proof is around her waist. It must be eating Sasha alive that Charlotte is the champ and all she has is a WE WANT SASHA chant. There is no one that has done more than Charlotte this year because Sasha is all hype.
Cue Sasha to say Charlotte can be champion but she’ll never be Sasha. Charlotte doesn’t want to be here but Sasha says she would be champion if not for Charlotte’s daddy. We get the very good question of what it means to be the boss. Charlotte has been champion for most of the time since they debuted in WWE a year ago so she’s the legit boss. Sasha talks about how a boss fights all the time and is about to fight now but Dana’s distraction lets Charlotte kick Sasha in the face. That earns her a Bank Statement with Dana making the save before Charlotte can tap.
Dean Ambrose vs. The Miz
Non-title and another Smackdown rematch that won’t be billed as a rematch because Smackdown means nothing. Dean starts fast and clotheslines Miz out to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Miz reverses a whip and we take an early break. Back with Ambrose fighting back but getting dropkicked in the knee for his efforts.
We hit the Figure Four for a bit as JBL goes on his same rant about how you can’t put Ambrose’s face on billboards or have him on Jimmy Fallon, even though NO ONE BUT CENA (and occasionally Reigns) EVER DOES ANY OF THAT STUFF. Miz’s top rope ax handle is countered and Dean sends him outside for the suicide dive. Ambrose is nice enough to hold his leg after the dive connects. Back in and Miz kicks him in the face, only to walk into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 9:42.
Rating: C-. The match was fine, albeit a shorter version of the exact same match that we saw back on Smackdown because that show is a dress rehearsal for whatever they’re doing on Monday. JBL continues to get on my nerves with his whole HE CAN’T BE CHAMPION thing because as usual, it makes no sense.
Post match here’s Seth Rollins for his match and a quick staredown with Ambrose that goes nowhere. Dean changes his mind and comes back to do commentary as it’s time to rip off Dean Ambrose from a few months ago.
Seth Rollins vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title and Dean switches from Spanish commentary to English as they get started. They hit the mat to start with Ziggler sending Rollins outside. Seth comes back in for some stomps and an enziguri to knock Dolph to the floor as we take a break. Back with Dolph getting a faceplant off the top for two, followed by Rollins’ low superkick getting the same. Ziggler evens the superkick score for another near fall, only to have the Zig Zag countered into the Pedigree for the pin at 11:18.
Rating: C+. This was fine and a better use of Ziggler than you normally see. Ziggler is going to be fine no matter how many times he loses and it’s a good idea to have Rollins win matches clean like this one. Rollins is a much bigger star so this really doesn’t hurt anyone in the short or long run.
Post match Rollins gets on the announcers’ table to rant about his legacy. He still thinks Reigns should be taken out of the triple threat because Reigns hasn’t worked for anything a day in his life. Ambrose gets on the other announcers’ table so Rollins can yell at him a bit before the fight is on. Rollins gets the worst of it though and it’s Dirty Deeds onto the table, which doesn’t break.
We get an old school Wyatt Family video with them talking about how New Day’s reality doesn’t really exist. They invite New Day into their world because the power of positivity is a myth believed only by fools and children. Join them.
Video on Baron Corbin. You don’t see this kind of thing often enough.
Here’s Vickie Guerrero to say she should be in charge of Smackdown. This goes on for a good while until security takes her away. Cole calls this very strange, despite it happening every week for the last month.
Big Show gives Team America (Zack Ryder, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Apollo Crews, Mark Henry and Jack Swagger) a pep talk about how it doesn’t matter where you’re from. Naturally the Battle Hymn of the Republic is playing in the background.
Vickie is being taken away when she runs into ex-boyfriend Dolph Ziggler…..who says he’s never seen her before so she should be taken away.
Golden Truth vs. Vaudevillains
Breezango is at ringside. Truth and Gotch start things off with Simon taking a kick to the face. A double tag brings in Goldust to work on English, including a bulldog for no cover. Everything breaks down and Truth tags himself in, setting up a powerbomb/side slam combo (Solid Gold) for the pin on English at 1:31. I’m so glad they brought the Vaudevillains up for something like this. Breezango did nothing.
Bob Backlund wants Darren Young to live a problem free life. His advice is to make his problems bend to his will. Then he asks about Young’s finisher, which is still the Gut Check. Backlund isn’t cool with the fact that Darren doesn’t have a submission hold so he suggests the Crossface Chickenwing, which he officially gives to Young. See, Backlund believes in Darren and wants him to be great again.
Here’s John Cena to suggest that the crowd isn’t as fired up as they normally are. They seem a little disappointed tonight but maybe they need to find that energy they had the first time he stood face to face with AJ Styles. We were waiting fifteen years for the big showdown but then AJ failed to stand on his own two feet. It wasn’t a big surprise though as Cena always knew he’d have to fight all of the members of the Club if he wanted to fight one, which is why he got laid out last week.
Cue the Club with AJ talking about the Club making their return to Tokyo this past week but the posters were all about John Cena. The Club runs Tokyo and soon they’ll run WWE, but first they have to get rid of Cena himself. AJ knows that Cena is loading up that shovel to get rid of him but last week there was no one out to save Cena when he was in trouble. It’s because no one relates to him because he’s this top star. Instead people relate to the Club, because they have the guts to get it done.
The Club is going to beat him up week after week, including on Labor Day and Halloween, even if it means dressing up like Bushwhacker Luke and Brutus Beefcake. Then on Christmas Day, Anderson is going to wrap presents with his hot Asian wife (his words) and then beat up John Cena. The Club comes down to the ring to beat him up now and the attack is on until Enzo and Big Cass of all people make the save. That’s certainly better than the Usos.
The Shining Stars are actually still a thing.
Summer Rae vs. Becky Lynch
Natalya is watching from the back as Summer chokes in the corner to start. We hit the chinlock less than a minute in before Summer botches a suplex, basically dropping Becky on her head. Some clotheslines set up the Bexploder for two before the Disarm-Her makes Summer tap at 2:58.
Chris Jericho wishes the Multi-National Alliance (Yes really. That would be Jericho, Alberto Del Rio, Cesaro, Sami Zayn, Sheamus, Kevin Owens and the Lucha Dragons) a happy Canada Day but a multilingual argument breaks out.
Enzo and Cass shill Sonic.
Here’s New Day to talk about the Wyatt Family. We get Deliverance jokes before New Day promises to bring them a bowl of BootyO’s. The Wyatts pop up from their compound and say New Day’s screams are music to their ears. Bray issues the challenge to come to the compound. Kofi accepts but Woods keeps looking worried. As Big E. promises to spread positivity from the window to the wall, Woods cuts them off and says Bray just knows about fear. This is a bad idea and it’s no longer fun and games. If they can’t see that, New Day can’t survive.
John Cena/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club is set for Battleground.
Team USA vs. Multi-National Alliance
USA – Apollo Crews, Big Show, Kane, Dudley Boyz, Mark Henry, Jack Swagger, Zack Ryder
Multi-National Alliance – Chris Jericho, Kevin Owens, Sami Zayn, Cesaro, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Lucha Dragons
Elimination rules and the foreigners (including Kalisto, who hails from the far off land of Chicago) come to the ring to their national anthems. Owens beats up Ryder to start before it’s quickly off to D-Von vs. Cara. This is going to be really hard to keep track of early on. A quick 3D gets rid of Cara at 1:05 and the Brogue Kick does the same to Bubba at 1:12.
Back from a break with Cesaro swinging D-Von into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 5:45. Swagger comes in for the Patriot Lock but has to fight out of the Sharpshooter attempt. Jericho comes in and the Vader Bomb hits raised boots, setting up the Codebreaker for the elimination at 7:53. Kane comes in but everything breaks down for a huge brawl as we take another break.
Back with Del Rio getting two on Crews off a Backstabber before getting dropkicked out of the air. The hot tag brings in Henry for some slow motion house cleaning, only to have Kalisto dive into the World’s Strongest Slam for the elimination at 13:20. Owens comes in and GIVES HENRY A POP UP POWERBOMB for the elimination at 13:35.
That was insane and I was thinking there was no way he could do it but he just did anyway. Ryder is in next but Owens sends him into Sami, triggering the obvious brawl. Kane tags himself in but Owens hits Sami with a chair for the DQ at 14:55. As in Owens is disqualified, though it should really be Kane. Speaking of Kane, he hits Owens with the chair for another DQ at 15:24, despite Owens already being eliminated. Kane chokeslams Sami so Crews adds the standing moonsault for the elimination at 15:49. Sheamus Brogue Kicks Crews for the elimination at 15:53 and we’re rapidly running out of people.
So it’s down to Ryder/Big Show vs. Jericho/Sheamus/Del Rio/Cesaro with Jericho beating on Ryder. Cesaro tags himself in and it’s time for the uppercut train on Cesaro’s own teammates. He loads up the Neutralizer on Ryder but gets rolled up to eliminate Cesaro at 18:41. The announcers treat that way too lightly and it’s Sheamus beating on Ryder, only to get caught with a neckbreaker. The hot tag brings in Big Show to start cleaning house with the KO Punch eliminating Jericho at 20:14. Del Rio’s low superkick is blocked and a chokeslam gets rid of Alberto at 21:31.
We’re down to Sheamus vs. Ryder/Big Show with Show pulling Sheamus back in over the top by the hair. The chokeslam doesn’t work though and Sheamus is smart enough to go for the leg. Ryder comes in for his forearms in the corner, only to get caught in the powerslam for two. Show grabs Sheamus by the throat and shoves him into the Rough Ryder for the final pin at 22:18.
Rating: C-. Oh what else were you expecting here? You knew that a bazooka blast to the chest wasn’t going to defeat the Americans here and that’s exactly how this should have gone. Ryder getting the win is a fun little moment and no one is going to remember this by the time it’s the fifth of July so everything is fine. The match was nothing to see but it’s not like any rational person was expecting anything else.
Old Glory is lowered and fireworks take us out.
Overall Rating: D+. Again I ask: what else were you expecting? It was mostly a skippable show with some decent wrestling and a grand total of nothing of note, save for a six man being announced twenty days before a pay per view. This is a good example of a throw away show that no one was going to watch in the first place but at least there was enough stuff on here to keep me entertained for three hours. We’ll be back to serious next week and that’s fine on a holiday like this.
Results
Rusev b. Titus O’Neil – Accolade
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Social Outcasts – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Dallas
Dean Ambrose b. The Miz – Dirty Deeds
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler – Pedigree
Golden Truth b. Vaudevillains – Solid Gold to English
Becky Lynch b. Summer Rae – Disarm-Her
Team USA b. Multi-National Alliance – Rough Ryder to Sheamus
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Monday Night Raw Date: June 27, 2016
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
We’re getting closer to Battleground but things have changed a bit because of Roman Reigns’ suspension. It should be interesting to see if that’s actually referenced during the show as they could just as easily say Rollins attacked him off air or that he was injured during last week’s match. Let’s get to it.
Here’s Seth Rollins to open things up. He talks about the upcoming triple threat but stops to talk about the Roman Reigns scandal. What he did to get himself suspended soiled the Shield’s name and then he even put out a statement about it. We see the Tweet from Reigns saying he violated the Wellness Policy and apologizing for it, which Rollins doesn’t buy. What about an apology to the fans?
As for the last part where Reigns says he owns it, all that matters is Rollins owns him. Reigns doesn’t deserve a second chance or forgiveness or to be in the main event of Battleground. Based on the suspension, we might as well just make it a singles match because that’s what Rollins deserves.
Cue Ambrose to say everyone makes mistakes, like being Seth’s friend or Rollins wearing skinny jeans. As far as Dean is concerned the triple threat is still on. This brings out AJ Style to say it should still be a triple threat with himself taking Reigns’ place. Dean doesn’t make the decisions around here but thinks it’s still a triple threat.
They all bicker with each other when John Cena comes out as well. He’s held that title fifteen times and had his first match in WWE fourteen years ago today. Cena won the last time he beat Ambrose so let’s make it a fatal fiveway. Now it’s Stephanie McMahon to say she doesn’t like Ambrose standing in the ring as champion. She does however like the idea of Cena and Styles in the Battleground title match. Therefore tonight it’s Cena vs. Rollins and Ambrose vs. Styles. If Cena and AJ win, they can be added to the title match at Battleground.
Paige/Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte/Dana Brooks
This is Sasha’s first match on Raw or Smackdown since April because WWE has no idea how to book more than one story in this division at a time. Sasha sends Dana into the corner to start but Brooke reverses and does the pat on Sasha’s head. That just earns her an ejection out to the floor and we take a break.
Back with Charlotte putting Paige in a chinlock, apparently due to kicking her in the face during the break. A running flip neckbreaker allows Charlotte to taunt Sasha a bit and draw the hot hotheaded Banks in. Paige dives for the tag but settles for a superkick to the champ’s face, allowing her to bring in Sasha. Everything breaks down and double knees in the corner sets up the Bank Statement to make Dana tap at 8:46.
Rating: C-. The ending made sense and it’s a good sign that Paige’s win over Charlotte wasn’t just a one off plot device. Sasha going through Charlotte’s lackey to get to the big title showdown makes sense though I could see them waiting until Summerslam to go there. Unfortunately this makes the whole Natalya series seem like a waste of time as there was no real reason to wait on Sasha getting this run. Oh and please don’t have them put Ric Flair in Sasha’s corner for some stupid reason.
Titus O’Neil vs. Rusev
Non-title and we actually get a match here despite Titus attacking before the bell again. Titus misses a charge in the corner and gets stomped down, setting up a chinlock that goes nowhere. A dropkick puts Titus down and a few knees to the ribs keeps him in trouble, only to have the threat of a big boot sends Rusev outside. We get a double clothesline before Titus throws Rusev over the timekeeper’s area for the countout win at 4:09.
Rating: D. Why in the world are we getting another of these matches? Titus vs. Rusev was one of the lamest title matches I’ve seen in a long time and now we’re getting another despite Rusev already beating him? WWE really needs to comprehend the idea of a one off match. Not everything needs to be part of a big story, despite what WWE seems to think.
Stephanie runs into Kane, who is still trying to get a chance at running Smackdown. Miz and Maryse come in to complain about the lack of a red carpet and the limo driver not opening the door for them. Kane mentions his own acting career before bringing up Miz not defending the title in a long time. That’s accurate actually so Stephanie makes a title match against a mystery opponent. It’s like a cliffhanger you see.
As usual, every single word Stephanie says feels like it comes off a teleprompter. I don’t know if it’s that she sucks as an actress or what, but she’s sounded like that for over fifteen years now and it almost never changes. She can rant and rave very well but anytime she tries to sound natural or spontaneous, she sounds like an eight year old in a school play.
Seth Rollins vs. John Cena
If Cena wins he’s in the title match at Battleground. They start fast with Seth actually getting the better of it off some right hands. A dropkick and Blockbuster get two each on Cena but he initiates his finishing sequence to come back. Of course it’s WAY too early for that so the Shuffle is broken up with a kick to the face.
Back from a break with Cena hitting the shoulders into the Protobomb again but catching the kick that would break up the Shuffle. A third Protobomb sets up the Shuffle but the AA is countered into the low superkick for two. Cena comes right back with a tornado DDT for two of his own, only to have Seth kick him in the face.
The great looking frog splash misses though and Cena heads up top but Seth runs the ropes for a superplex and rolls into a Falcon’s Arrow for two. A quick AA gets two more with Seth getting his foot on the ropes. Another AA doesn’t work so Cena grabs the STF but cue the Club for a distraction, setting up the Pedigree for the pin at 16:00.
Rating: B. It’s nice to have these two feel fresh after all those matches they had back in the fall. Cena losing this close to clean is kind of surprising but Rollins needs wins like these to really look like a top player again after the injury. I mean I know he won the title but does that really mean much anymore? Good match here though, despite the somewhat obvious ending.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Carlos Kershing/Mitch Walding
Enzo says they’re riding a wave and the wave is these people. Therefore he wants the fans to do the wave as soon as the bell rings. The Bada Boom Shakalacka ends we’ll say Kershing at 25 seconds.
Post match Cass loads up the spelling but the Social Outcasts interrupt. Dallas says the Outcasts are H-A-R-D so Cass asks which is the hardest. A big boot drops Slater and the other two aren’t so willing to get in the ring.
Bob Backlund/Darren Young segment with Backlund saying it’s time for the Darren Young Era. This sounds like the last one.
Some Special Olympians got to train at the WWE Performance Center. Nothing wrong with that.
The Special Olympians are here and get a presentation to the crowd.
Becky Lynch vs. Summer Rae
Natalya is on commentary and there’s no match as Becky goes right after her, earning a pretty loud BECKY chant as a result.
It’s time for the Highlight Reel with guests Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens. After Jericho blames both of them for that maniac Dean Ambrose being WWE World Champion, he brings them out and brings up their careers being put on hold because of this feud. Sami wants to end everything at Battleground because they might wind up on different shows without anything being settled.
Owens won’t say anything so Sami accuses him of being a coward. Sami wants to hear Owens admit that he’s jealous of Sami for getting to WWE first in NXT. Owens says he’s told Sami the truth many times: what he did was to advance his own career. Everything they did was to get to WWE and Sami should have done is congratulate Owens for using him as a stepping stone. The fact that he doesn’t shows that Owens is a better friend than Sami ever was, but the match is on for Battleground.
Jericho loves the idea but says Owens is just trying to follow Jericho’s path. Chris doesn’t think much of Sami either and would love to shut up his stupid idiot face right now, but he’ll leave Owens to do that at Battleground. We get the Gift of Jericho pose but both Sami and Owens kick him in the face at the same time. The fans seem really intrigued at the idea of these two working together.
We recap the opening segment.
Intercontinental Title: The Miz vs. ???
Miz is defending against…..Kane. I had it being Cesaro but why do that when you can do someone not quite that interesting who hasn’t had a match since Wrestlemania? Kane throws him around to start but can’t get a chokeslam. Instead it’s a big boot to the champ’s face, followed by a side slam for two. Maryse gets on the apron to break up another chokeslam attempt, only to get knocked to the floor for some screeching. Miz is nice enough to check on her and her injured ankle, drawing our second countout for the midcard champions of the night at 3:27.
Rating: D. I’m glad Kane didn’t win here but tell me we’re not going to see a rematch between these two at Battleground. I really don’t need to see Kane getting a second title shot but since they did this match here we absolutely need to see them do it again because HOW ELSE CAN WE POSSIBLY DO A STORY???
Post break Maryse shows Miz that she was faking. Miz is impressed.
Apollo Crews/Cesaro vs. Alberto Del Rio/Sheamus
See, Del Rio and Cesaro had a match on Smackdown (not shown of course) so they’re in a heated rivalry now. Sheamus wants nothing to do with Crews to start so Apollo grabs a quick suplex on Del Rio and brings in Cesaro. Some kicks stagger Cesaro and a DDT gets two for Alberto.
Sheamus comes in for the Irish Curse before slapping on a chinlock to keep things slow (not a bad thing here). Cesaro throws him down and the double tag brings in Crews to clothesline Del Rio a few times before Alberto intentionally enziguris Sheamus and walks out. A dropkick sends the steps into Sheamus, setting up the toss powerbomb to give Crews the pin at 5:00.
Rating: D+. Well ok then. I’m not sure where they’re going with this but it’s a good sign that Crews is just in the midcard without too many questions. I really don’t need to see them waiting around while he has a nothing feud to introduce him to the roster. The short thing against the Social Outcasts was bad enough but he seems to actually have a place now. Not exactly a character or that much of a story but he’s got something.
Dean Ambrose is disappointed that he didn’t get a parade for winning the title but he’ll settle for a match with Styles tonight. Stephanie comes in and talks about how she wants to get the title off Dean as fast as she can because he’s a disgrace to the company. Oh and no one would want his autograph because he’s not worth it.
Ok, this is just stupid now. Stephanie just keeps going from one side of the spectrum to the other and you can pretty much guess which one she’ll be on a given week. It’s either the fun loving one who dances with kids and wants to make WWE great or the one who is basically Vince with better legs. At some point you need an actual motivation for your character and “I want WWE to be respected” isn’t enough.
We get that because she tells you every single week but just saying it and giving no reason for why someone isn’t worthy of your praise isn’t enough. Pick a side or at least tell us why you’re doing something. Just having Stephanie go all over the place because she’s Stephanie and the rules don’t apply to her. This has been going on for years but she’s a self made woman and empowering or whatever their line is.
The Wyatts are here…..and it’s New Day in costumes, with Kofi as Rowan, Woods as Harper and Big E. as Bray, complete with cowboy hat, gray beard with a string to hold it on, overalls and a lantern made up of light up unicorn horns. We even get a New Day themed Wyatt style montage. Kofi throws the mask off and wants to know how Rowan can breathe in that thing. They get in the ring and Big E. plays up to being born in Tampa. Big E.: “Tampa General Hospital anyone?”
They make fun of the outfits until the real Wyatts interrupt. Bray says it’s a new day and tells the fans to vilify him. How can the power of positivity help someone who just lost his job and can’t put food on his table? Kofi calls the power of positivity a way of life and Big E. agrees but Bray focuses on Woods. Xavier looks a bit shook and Bray says Woods can confide in him. They’re just playing one of Woods’ games but there are no winners or loses. There’s just malice and destruction and New Day will fall. Remember when Bray was going to be a face and he was looking awesome? Is there a reason that was canceled?
Post break New Day thinks it’s a great idea to keep messing with the Wyatts. Kofi: “It was the best idea we’ve had since we went and saw Finding Dory the other day.” Woods looks shaken and walks off.
Dean Ambrose vs. AJ Styles
Non-title and Rollins is on commentary. Feeling out process to start with Ambrose getting taken down in a headlock. Back up and Dirty Deeds doesn’t work so we take an early break. We come back with AJ hitting a good looking dropkick and slapping on a chinlock. A hot shot breaks up AJ’s momentum and a fisherman’s suplex of all things gets two for the champ.
AJ gets the same off a faceplant but takes too much time getting to the top, allowing Dean to grab a butterfly superplex. Styles is back up though and grabs a torture rack into a spinning powerbomb, only to miss the Phenomenal Forearm. Dean wrenches his knee though and that means the Calf Crusher. You don’t have the champ tap though so he grabs the rope instead.
Dean sends him outside and OF COURSE he can still do the suicide dive on the bad leg. Back in and AJ rolls through the top rope elbow, followed by the Pele. Dean is JUST FINE and hits the rebound lariat to put both guys down. This brings out the Club so AJ can get two off a brainbuster. Cena comes down to fight Gallows and Anderson but the distraction sets up Dirty Deeds to put AJ away at 15:45.
Rating: C-. Completely ignoring the leg injury aside, is there a reason why Seth didn’t come in and attack Dean to keep it a triple threat like he wanted? He’s supposed to be all smart and he was fine with letting Dean be in the Calf Crusher while he just sat there. I know it’s not how you do a match like this, but it goes against Seth’s intelligence to have Dean in that much danger and not do anything about it. This match had too many holes it in for me to work, despite it being entertaining at times.
Post match the Club beats up Cena as Rollins hits two Pedigrees on Ambrose. Is there ANY reason he’s still using that move? He’s not associated with HHH anymore and it really doesn’t fit his style but that’s what he was using before and nothing is allowed to change for a main eventer so I guess that’s what we’re getting for good. Cena gets a Magic Killer on the stage and Dean takes another Pedigree to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This wasn’t quite the same as last week as the wrestling was just there for the most part. The bigger problem though is how weak Battleground is looking aside from the main event. It looks like a lot of rematches and then some nothing matches like Kane vs. Miz and Titus vs. Rusev. On top of that there’s also the impending Draft, which really makes so much of this stuff seem like filler. The show certainly wasn’t horrible but it was really just there, and that’s rarely a good sign. Oh and next week is the Fourth of July, meaning the biggest throw away show of the year. Have fun with that one.
Results
Sasha Banks/Paige b. Charlotte/Dana Brooke – Bank Statement to Brooke
Titus O’Neil b. Rusev via countout
Seth Rollins b. John Cena – Pedigree
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Carlos Kershing/Mitch Walding – Bada Boom Shakalacka to Kershing
Kane b. The Miz via countout
Apollo Crews/Cesaro b. Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio – Toss powerbomb to Sheamus
Dean Ambrose b. AJ Styles – Dirty Deeds
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Monday Night Raw – June 20, 2016: How To Make Battleground Important
Monday Night Raw Date: June 20, 2016
Location: Talking Stick Resort Arena, Phoenix, Arizona
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
A lot changed last night at Money in the Bank, not the least of which is all three members of Shield held the WWE World Title at some point. Dean Ambrose walked out with the title after cashing in Money in the Bank briefcase to end the show on new champion Seth Rollins, who had taken the title from Roman Reigns. We’re heading towards Battleground now but first up is that whole Brand Split and completely changing the company thing. Let’s get to it.
Dean arrived earlier today and threw money at the cab driver, only to have to chase after the cab because he forgot the title.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Dean to open things up, walking past a Raw and Smackdown podium on the way to the ring. The fans tell him that he deserves it before Dean talks about barely remembering a lot of last night. Apparently he ran into the Cleveland Cavaliers but he isn’t a fan. I’m sure the crowd booing him out of the arena didn’t sway that decision in the slightest. Dean gets right to the point: hard work and dedication pay off and when it pays off, it pays off BIG.
If Roman Reigns is the guy, maybe Ambrose can be the Dude. Call him whatever you want but you have to call him champ because it was all worth it to get here. Cue Roman to some LOUD booing. Roman says last night wasn’t his night because it was Dean’s night. He’s here to congratulate the new champ but the fans cut him off with a YOU CAN’T WRESTLE chant. Roman says all the people chanting that need to take a sip of their beer and calm down. The other reason Reigns is out here is to find out if Dean is a fighting champion.
This brings out a furious Seth to say he never properly lost the title and Reigns needs to go to the back of the line. Here’s Shane McMahon to calm things down a bit. Shane thinks the best idea is to have Seth vs. Roman with the winner facing Dean. Shane talks to an invisible Stephanie about her idea since the real version isn’t here tonight. Stephanie agrees so let’s have the match tonight instead of waiting around.
Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens
Owens bails to the floor to start so Sami takes him down with a clothesline. You would think Sami could come up with some different offense somewhere in there. Sami moonsaults off the barricade to drop Owens again so Kevin bails into the crowd. That goes nowhere as Sami throws him back to ringside, only to have Owens drive him into the post as we take a break.
Back from a break with Kevin’s backsplash hitting raised knees. Sami low bridges him to the floor for the running flip dive, only to charge into a superkick for two. Sami’s half and half suplex looks to set up the Helluva Kick but only earns him another superkick. A victory roll out of nowhere gives Sami the pin at 8:54.
Rating: C+. These two always work well together and it’s a good idea to have Sami get a clean pin over Owens. You can’t have the whole thing be one sided and I kind of like the idea of not waiting for some big moment for the first win for a change. Good enough match here but these two have that natural chemistry that you just can’t fake.
Kevin goes after him again post match but Sami escapes a powerbomb on the stage and they trade fists until referees break it up.
After a break, Sami and Kevin are still fighting in the back.
The announcers talk about the Draft, basically making the official announcement.
Here’s John Laurinitis to throw his name in the hat as GM but Shane comes out to say no way because that’s not how it’s going to work.
Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. Vaudevillains
Enzo and Shane compare shoes and dance a bit on the way to the ring. After the usual catchphrases, Enzo says he didn’t like what Johnny laryngitis was saying. Any guesses how many dimes he would have if he got one for every time Johnny said something important? English stomps Enzo down to start before it’s off to Gotch for a neckbreaker. The slow beating continues until Gotch eats a Downward Spiral into the middle buckle. The hot tag brings in Cass to clean house with the Empire Elbow for two on English. Enzo goes up for the Rocket Launcher, now named the Bada Boom Shaka Lacka, for the pin at 2:53.
Here’s AJ Styles to talk about the tainted win last night. The bottom line though is that he beat John Cena, even if it didn’t go down like he expected it to go. Either way, the Club is going to continue but he wants Anderson and Gallows to come out and apologize right now. Anderson and Gallows come out and AJ yells at them a bit, saying that was his only first chance to beat Cena and now John has an excuse. AJ wants an apology right now and gets one from both guys, but now he needs Cena out here as well.
Cena comes out and says AJ broke the contract but Gallows says AJ had no idea what they were going to do. That’s the apology but Cena thinks it’s a coverup to hide the fact that AJ isn’t as good as he says he is. Cena can accept the win because that’s the most important thing in WWE. What AJ doesn’t get is the idea of being a man of his word. Last night Styles proved that he doesn’t have a word or balls. That earns him a CENA chant but AJ doesn’t think the fans know what they’re talking about.
AJ thinks there should be a fight right now and Cena is ready but that’s not what Styles meant. Instead AJ meant against either Anderson or Gallows, not Styles himself. Cena says it doesn’t matter which one he faces because the other will be at ringside. Therefore, he’ll fight all three, which is the contract AJ should have signed in the first place. AJ stops him again and says it’s Anderson vs. Cena right now.
John Cena vs. Karl Anderson
Joined in progress with Cena pounding Anderson down but stopping to look at the entrance for Styles and Gallows. An early ProtoBomb sets up the Shuffle and the AA, drawing in the rest of the Club for the DQ at 2:24 shown.
Post match Cena takes the Magic Killer and Styles Clash.
Stills of last night’s ladder match and World Title situation.
We also look at the opening segment.
Rollins is ready to take the title back from Ambrose and it starts tonight. He wants to prove that he’s the best member of the Shield once and for all. Oh yeah that’s grounds for a triple threat.
Becky Lynch is sick and tired of everyone turning on her with Natalya being the latest one to do so. Natalya jumps her from behind and says it’s time to think about herself.
Baron Corbin vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder pokes him in the eye to start but Corbin might have been goldbricking as he blasts Ryder in the face with a right hand. Zack shrugs off some choking and sends him outside for a dropkick from the apron. The Elbro gets two but Corbin slides under the ropes and runs back in for a right hand, followed by End of Days for the pin at 3:03.
Rating: D+. This was better than I was expecting with Ryder getting in a lot more offense than I was expecting. Of course the second you heard Ryder’s music playing you knew how this was going to go but that’s all you can expect from someone like him. At least they kept this short though and there was almost no mention of Dolph Ziggler, a development that is LONG overdue.
We look at WWE announcing a partnership in China and signing a Chinese wrestler to a developmental deal.
The Wyatts are coming back soon.
We look back at Paige beating Charlotte in a non-title match last week.
Paige (who seems to not be under arrest) talks about having a history with Charlotte from Team PCB but Charlotte and Dana are behind her laughing about getting cell phone service. Charlotte brags about rocketing up the charts after Team PCB broke up while Paige fell down like a tree. Paige says she’ll win the title tonight and Charlotte will have no one to blame but herself.
Women’s Title: Paige vs. Charlotte
Charlotte is defending and we get big match intros. A rollup gets an early two for the champ but she nips up off a shoulder. Paige hits a running knee in the corner followed by a series of knees to the face from the bottom rope. Dana offers a distraction though and Charlotte nails Paige to take over as we take a break.
Back with Charlotte doing her figure four headscissors faceplants but Paige grabs a backslide for two. Some superkicks set up a running knee for two on the champ, followed by a fall away slam. Paige’s superplex is broken up and the moonsault gives Charlotte two. The Figure Eight is countered into a small package for two and the Rampaige gets the same with Dana putting the foot on the ropes. That earns her an ejection but Charlotte hits Natural Selection for the pin at 8:30.
Rating: C+. Good match here as usual and it’s nice to see Paige not have to babysit the lower level women for a bit. That being said, we’re just waiting on Sasha at this point and it’s just a matter of time until Sasha comes back and gives us the big Summerslam feud for the title. Well maybe Battleground but whatever.
Post match Paige gets suplexed but here’s Sasha for the big return to clean house. Charlotte gets caught in the Bank Statement to draw Dana back in, only to have Paige help make the save.
Roman says he’s going to be the guy to beat Seth Rollins.
The Wyatts are here.
Here are the Wyatts for their big return. We get a big welcome back chant so Bray asks if they missed him. The Wyatts have been locked away and punished but they have never forgotten what they stand for. Bray issues a warning to everyone back there…..and here’s New Day to cut them off. Woods says Bray needs to stop talking so much and Kofi goes into the usual spiel, only to have Bray seem to hypnotize Woods. Kofi gets him back but Bray thinks the future is New Day falls. That’s uh…..quite the odd choice for a pairing but Bray controlling people is interesting. Are the Wyatts still faces though?
Life Lesson With Bob Backlund, focusing on Backlund giving orders, not advice.
Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil
Titus says this is about respect and revenge instead of the US Title. He charges in and a fight starts before the bell, meaning no match so this MUST CONTINUE! They fight outside with Rusev getting the worse of it and being sent out into the crowd.
Miz and Maryse are on the set of Marine 5 and Miz gets annoyed because he can’t get good quail. He freaks out and goes on a rant about how bad the crew is, right in front of the crew.
Chris Jericho is in Shane’s office and rants about how he should be #1 contender but Shane doesn’t see it that way. Jericho brings up the 69 tacks and calls Shane a stupid idiot, which doesn’t sit well with the boss. Chris wants to be on whatever show Shane isn’t running but Shane says he’ll be on both.
Seth Rollins vs. Roman Reigns
Winner goes to Battleground for a title shot and Dean is on commentary. Roman shoulders him down to start and they head outside with Rollins getting knocked around even more. Roman loads up the announcers’ table but gets caught with a Blockbuster back inside. A dropkick gets two for Seth and we hit the chinlock. Rollins takes it to the floor and sends Roman into the barricade, only to get kicked in the face back inside. They head outside again with Reigns sending him into the barricade as we take a break.
Back with Rollins throwing on a sleeper but Reigns quickly escapes and fires off some forearms until the referee breaks it up. The distraction lets Seth get in a jumping enziguri and he sends Roman outside for the suicide dive. Back in and Reigns scores with his powerbomb for two. Neither guy can hit a finisher but Seth tries a springboard and dives into the Superman Punch for two. The spear is blocked by a kick to the face so Reigns punches him out to the apron.
Now the springboard knee to the face sets up the slow superkick for two but Reigns avoids a great looking frog splash. There’s the apron boot and Roman loads up the announcers’ table. Seth escapes to avoid extreme pain and scores with another enziguri. Seth barely breaks the count but Reigns pulls him back outside for a spear over the announcers’ table. That spot loses a lot when there’s no big crash. Neither guy gets back in and it’s a double countout at 17:27.
Rating: B-. Obvious ending aside, this was actually a bit more entertaining than last night as the length really pulled the first match down. Of course this sets up the Shield triple threat which should headline Summerslam but why do that when you can do it at a nothing show like Battleground? In theory this leaves Reigns vs. Lesnar II for Summerslam but that’s assuming Lesnar is healthy after the UFC fight. But hey, why play it smart when you can play it stupid?
Post match Shane comes out to say we need a #1 contender but Dean says he’ll fight both of them in the same night. The triple threat is made and Dean hits Dirty Deeds on both guys to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This show set up some stuff for Battleground as it seems like we’re heading towards some Money in the Bank rematches. You have to assume we’ll get Sami Zayn vs. Kevin Owens in a big showdown, plus the Cena vs. Styles rematch and of course the big triple threat. Still though, good enough show here with some watchable wrestling but again we’re still stuck in a weird bit of limbo with the Draft in a month. I’ll take a watchable show that’s off the air at two minutes after the hour instead of thirty two minutes after the hour though so this is a bit less annoying than last night’s show.
Results
Sami Zayn b. Kevin Owens – Victory roll
Enzo Amore/Big Cass b. Vaudevillains – Bada Boom Shaka Lacka
John Cena b. Karl Anderson via DQ when AJ Styles and Luke Gallows interfered
Baron Corbin b. Zack Ryder – End of Days
Charlotte b. Paige – Natural Selection
Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins went to a double countout
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on NXT: The Full Sail Years Volume II at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
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Monday Night Raw – June 13, 2016: Someone Give Me A Good Title For A Strong Go Home Show
Monday Night Raw Date: June 13, 2016
Location: Smoothie King Center, New Orleans, Louisiana
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
It’s the go home show for Money in the Bank so it’s hard to say how much will actually happen this week. In this case we’ll have the buildup to the actual ladder match but one of the participants will be crossing over to the main event as well as Dean Ambrose hosts a special Ambrose Asylum with Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
We have a moment of silence for Orlando.
Here’s New Day to get things going. During their entrance we see a sign in the crowd reading “The guy behind me can’t see.” That actually made me groan and furthers my loathing of most wrestling fans. They talk about the upcoming four way but stop to make fun of Kofi for wearing the new Steph Curry shoes, which apparently look old. Kofi: “These shoes are hot on the streets!” Woods: “What streets? The streets of Greenwich, Connecticut?” Kofi: “Those are some mean streets.” They promise to keep the titles but here are Enzo and Big Cass to interrupt.
Cass says they’re going all in on Sunday and walking out with the titles. He implies that the unicorn horns are made for her pleasure and asks if Kofi is serious with the Jerry Seinfeld shoes. After New Day makes fun of the shoes as well, Cass wants to talk about Francesca. Woods: “That’s my girl.” Cass: “Well where was your girl last night?” Apparently she was with Enzo, who had his lips all over her like Satchmo.
Woods gets very serious and says he’s the only one who blows his girl. Kofi introduces the verbal joust of wits between New Day and Enzo/Big Cass but the Vaudevillains interrupt. English sings about how the new era but Anderson and Gallows cut them off. Gallows makes fun of the New Orleans Saints so Cass calls them S-A-W-F-T.
New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass vs. The Club/Vaudevillains
This is joined in progress with Kofi working over Gotch before bringing in Big E. for the Unicorn Stampede. Cass throws in some elbows before Enzo tags himself in so Cass can throw him at Gotch. English shoves Gotch out of the way of a high cross body, only to have Gotch run Amore over. It’s time for Enzo to take a beating as all of the villains take a shot at him. English gets kicked out to the floor though and a kick to the chest is enough for the hot tag off to Cass as everything breaks down. Kofi dives on everyone and we take a break.
Back with Big E. in trouble but countering a sunset flip and dropping Gotch with an elbow to the jaw. Gallows gets in a clothesline though and Big E. is in trouble again. The Vaudevillains chop away before it’s off to Karl for a kick to the face in the corner. Big E. gets in a shot to the ribs though and it’s off to Kofi as things speed up again. A high cross body gets two on Anderson as Enzo and Gotch are sent out to the floor. English does the same to Cass, only to have Big E. LAUNCH him with a belly to belly. Gallows comes in off a blind tag and the Magic Killer puts Kingston away at 13:26.
Rating: C+. That break in the middle hurt this a lot as it felt like nothing more than a way to fill in time rather than something that the match actually needed. That being said, Kofi was on fire here, which is why he just had to take the pin. Big E. or Enzo were available, though they were smart to keep Cass looking strong as he’s possibly the biggest prospect in the whole match.
We look back at the debut of the Shield at Survivor Series 2012 to help set up the Ambrose Asylum later tonight.
Bob Backlund/Darren Young segment from Smackdown with Backlund telling him to save money, including only having one pair of clothes.
Shane and Stephanie are bickering over who should run Raw and/or Smackdown when Kane comes in to offer his services. He has a resume and a letter of recommendation from Undertaker so Stephanie lets Shane handle this one.
Zack Ryder is laughing with some random people about Apollo Crews knocking Sheamus down on Smackdown. Sheamus comes in and says he’ll beat Ryder up tonight, just like he’ll do to Crews on Sunday. Ryder says hi to Crews…..who isn’t there, allowing Ryder to run away like any former United States and Intercontinental Champion would do.
Clip of Shield’s face turn.
The Shining Stars brag about Puerto Rico’s water. How is this supposed to make money?
Titus O’Neil comes out for a match but Rusev jumps him from behind and beats him down on the stage. The referees have to come out and break the Accolade.
Clip of Shield breaking up. So to recap: they arrived, they turned face, and they split with nothing in between.
It’s time for the Ambrose Asylum with special guests Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. Before they come out though, Ambrose says he feels like he’s just woken up from a coma because this Sunday feels like Wrestlemania. There are two major matches and we’re focusing on one of them here. Therefore, let’s bring out his first guest, the scum of the Earth, Seth Rollins.
Reigns is brought out as well and we get the big visual of the three of them standing there. Ambrose: “This is great huh?” He asks Rollins about the knee and Rollins is stunned that Ambrose hasn’t watched his special on the WWE Network (he should because it’s awesome). Dean thinks Seth’s face must be hurt because it’s killing him. Reigns on the other hand had a great time on Bourbon Street last night.
Dean wants Rollins to calm down and stop being a party pooper. After the party pooper chant dies off, Rollins lists off some fun moments they’ve had like Wrestlemania XXX, flying in on a helicopter to fight Undertaker and HELL NO in London and finding Dean unconscious next to a dumpster in…..what town was that? Seth brings up the matches against Evolution and we get a BLUETISTA chant.
Rollins gets to the Wrestlemania XXXI cash-in and violence starts boiling over. Dean breaks it up and says Reigns beat Ambrose for that title in the first place. Yeah Reigns accomplished a lot in Rollins’ absence but he’s never beaten Seth one on one. Rollins rants about how he’s going to get the title back on his own but Dean laughs the idea off. Reigns actually says Rollins is right because it’s going to be one on one Sunday and then they’ll call him the guy because he beat Seth. Dean asks the fans which one it’s going to be but offers a third option: he wins the Money in the Bank contract and cashes in on either of them.
The music plays and the brawl is on with Reigns throwing Dean away so he can beat Seth up himself. That earns Seth a Superman Punch but Dean gives Reigns Dirty Deeds because that’s what friends do to each other. Ambrose looks up at the briefcase and the fans seem to like the idea.
Back from a break and Stephanie makes Ambrose vs. Jericho for the main event. Over the weekend I made a comment about how Smackdown is worthless because the matches mean nothing and there’s a good chance that they’ll just repeat a match on Monday anyway and I had a feeling it would be this one because it’s the one that didn’t need to happen again.
Paige vs. Charlotte
Natalya and Becky Lynch are at ringside. Non-title and the second match of the show starts an hour and twenty one minutes in. Paige runs her over with a knee to start but gets small packaged for two. Charlotte yells at Natalya and walks into the Rampaige for the pin at 2:31. I’m not even going to bother getting mad about this.
Cesaro is about to talk about Money in the Bank when Sami Zayn comes in to give the real answers. Cesaro is ticked off and says Sami is acting like a child but Sami says Cesaro can’t talk down to him like this. Apparently they’re in the same match tonight so Cesaro says he’ll see him out there.
Charlotte yells at Dana for failing and implies that Dana is her assistant. Dana is of course mad but Charlotte says her payment is to be part of Charlotte’s legacy.
Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
This is the second match in a row with no entrances, likely for the sake of more backstage stuff. Sheamus attacks early to start but gets caught by a quick dropkick and the Broski Boot. The Elbro gets two but the Rough Ryder is easily blocked. The Brogue Kick puts Ryder away at 1:53.
Sheamus beats him up even more until Crews runs out for the save.
We get a video of Kane winning Money in the Bank in 2010 and cashing in the same night.
Kevin Owens interrupts Kane and Shane’s talk but he wants to talk to Stephanie. Apparently Alberto Del Rio just arrived twenty minutes ago and should be taken out of the Money in the Bank match as a punishment. Del Rio, already in his gear, comes in to blame Owens for calling airport security to get him delayed for five hours. They start yelling in Spanish and French until Kane cuts them off with an idea. How about a tag match against the Lucha Dragons with the winners getting the spot in the ladder match? Shane likes the idea and makes the match.
Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro
Feeling out process to start with Cesaro nipping up out of a wristlock but getting armdragged right back down. A nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker plants Sami for and Cesaro sends him into the post as we take a break. Back with Cesaro hitting a corner uppercut and stomping on Sami’s chest for two. A quick Michinoku Driver gets two for Sami but he takes too long going to the top, allowing Cesaro to power through the apron superplex for another near fall. Back up and the Blue Thunder Bomb gets two, followed by the sunset bomb for…..actually for three on Cesaro at 8:06.
Rating: C+. That’s one of the few booking ideas I’ve seen tonight that I really like. Sami (and a lot of other people) have those big moves that never win anything so it’s a really good idea to have one get a pin every now and then to make you believe that it could get another one later. The loss doesn’t hurt Cesaro either as none of these wins really mean anything heading into the big gimmick match.
It’s time for the contract signing between John Cena and AJ Styles as moderated by Michael Cole. Cena hypes up Money in the Bank as a show bigger than Wrestlemania with a match fifteen years in the making. For years, the WWE bosses had told AJ Styles that he didn’t belong here. That’s nonsense because from PWG to New Japan to Ring of Honor, AJ Styles has been the best everywhere he’s gone. Sidebar: Is there any real reason why they won’t say TNA? Ring of Honor is arguably bigger and New Japan is definitely bigger but TNA isn’t allowed? Unless there’s some legal reason, I see no logical justification for not saying it.
Anyway Cena tells Cole to leave because this is going to get rowdy. AJ comes out and says he’s turned Cena’s world upside down. Cena agrees that it’s been done but there’s something up his sleeve. There are two contracts here, one of which says John Cena vs. AJ Styles and the other which says John Cena vs. AJ Styles w/The Club. Cena would love to sign the first one so we can have one heck of a fight on Sunday but if they sign the second one, AJ will win on Sunday and then start complaining the very next night when he doesn’t get the same respect.
AJ thinks Cena is so confident because of all the things he’s won but Styles wants to know what would have happened if AJ had been here fifteen years ago. My guess is not much because he still would have been a nothing tag guy but I get his point. AJ says he would have been the one on the covers of magazines and in all the movies. Cena cuts him off and says he’s heard this before and AJ doesn’t get it because he has the chance to prove it on Sunday.
AJ can sign one contract and prove how great he is or sign the other one and be put on a bullet train back to Japan because that’s where he left his balls. AJ grabs a pen and looks at the contracts before signing the one on one version. Styles says after Sunday, Cena’s time is up. As usual, this was AWESOME stuff.
We see Randy Orton winning Money in the Bank in 2013 and cashing in on Daniel Bryan at Summerslam.
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio vs. Lucha Dragons
The winners are in Money in the Bank. Del Rio beats on Kalisto to start before it’s off to Owens who isn’t happy with the way Alberto is acting, only to calm down at the threat of a DQ. Owens teases walking out but comes back in when Alberto is rolled up for two. Kevin and Alberto get in a shoving match and get dropkicked to the floor, setting up a double dive from the Dragons as we take a break.
Back with Kalisto eating a clothesline but Del Rio won’t tag out. Owens and Alberto get in another argument, allowing Kalisto to hit a quick Salida Del Sol to send Del Rio outside. Kevin throws his partner back in and it’s off to Sin Cara for the Swanton, only to have Owens breaks it up at two. The Pop Up Powerbomb ends Cara at 8:15.
Rating: C. I liked the idea of having something on the line here. Of course it wasn’t going to happen but it was nice to have a reason to care about the match. The Dragons are just so nothing these days and it’s sad to see the promise that Kalisto showed wasted as much as it has been.
Del Rio superkicks Owens post match.
Back from a break with Owens telling Stephanie that Sami Zayn is going to be on commentary for the main event. Stephanie is furious because that’s something so horrible so she makes Owens a commentator as well. Del Rio comes in and says he wants to be out there too so Stephanie makes him guest timekeeper.
Stephanie yells at Shane about his decisions so Shane makes Cesaro guest ring announcer. On another note, Kane isn’t getting the job running Smackdown. Kane comes in and asks if this is about electrocuting Shane’s testicles with a car batters. Shane tells Stephanie they’ll keep running Raw but he’ll run Smackdown on his own. This is getting old in a hurry and it’s only going to get worse.
Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose
All of the other Money in the Bank participants are at ringside. Dean chops him down to start and scores with a quick suplex. Jericho is sent to the floor for a suicide dive before Dean knocks Owens’ headset off. Back in and Dean flips out of a Walls attempt but eats an enziguri. The corner dropkick puts Dean on the floor and it’s time for the announcers, timekeeper and ring announcer to stare at each other.
We come back from a break with Dean fighting out of a chinlock. Some clotheslines stun Jericho but he counters the top rope standing elbow drop into the Walls. Owens: “I taught him that!” Dean grabs the ropes but can’t get Dirty Deeds. Instead Jericho takes him down for two off the Lionsault, only to have Dean get up top for the elbow.
Byron asks how Kevin would handle not winning Sunday. Owens: “I would handle it the same way: I would come out here and slap your face.” Dean tries to put on the Walls but settles for a catapult out to the apron. Jericho runs to the top but dives into a kick, only to have the Codebreaker countered into Dirty Deeds for the pin at 11:58.
Rating: C. This would be the standard reversal of the match we saw on Smackdown because that’s what Smackdown is for: a dry run for the following Raw without any mention of the first match. It doesn’t help that these two have fought WAY too many times and it’s getting less and less interesting every single time.
Everyone brawls after the match with Owens bringing in a ladder, only to have Sami flip dive off the top onto the pile of people. Jericho wasn’t in that group though and goes up the ladder to pull down the briefcase to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The wrestling (and lack thereof at times) brings down what was an otherwise very strong show with two excellent talking segments. I’m more invested in the pay per view than I was coming in and that’s the point of a go home show. The Cena vs. AJ stuff was excellent as Cena is still the best hard seller in the business and the Shield segment made things feel more personal, especially with Dean at the end to add some flavor. As has been the case so many times, if this was a two hour show, it would have been one of the best in a long time. As it is though, it’s still good enough.
Results
The Club/Vaudevillains b. New Day/Enzo Amore/Big Cass – Magic Killer to Kingston
Paige b. Charlotte – Rampaige
Sheamus b. Zack Ryder – Brogue Kick
Sami Zayn b. Cesaro – Sunset Bomb
Kevin Owens/Alberto Del Rio b. Lucha Dragons – Pop Up Powerbomb to Cara
Dean Ambrose b. Chris Jericho – Dirty Deeds
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