Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – September 28, 2015
This is a weird spot for WWE as they’re building up to a house show before they start building up to Hell in a Cell. Unfortunately that means we’re going to be in for a lot of Big Show, though fortunately it means we’re in for a lot more of the New Day and there’s nothing wrong with that. Let’s get to it.
They got right to the point with the US Open Challenge. Cena said anyone could come get some and it’s Xavier Woods taking the challenge. Of course this led to some hilarious shenanigans from all three members of New Day which I can’t do justice by just typing them up here. Cena no sold most of this and looked more like a villain who was being all serious. That being said, I really like the idea of Cena treating the title like the most important thing in the world and not something worthy of joking about.
As you might expect, Cena gave Woods the best match of his career before New Day came in for the DQ. That brought out the Dudleyz for a six man, which New Day actually won when Cena was knocked to the floor. This was entertaining and a good way to kill some time. Just like last week, it’s a better idea to start a show with action rather than spending twenty minutes setting up the night’s action.
Here’s the big story of the first half of the night: Kane gets a performance evaluation despite being creepy. Thankfully this was mostly done off screen so we didn’t have to go through a bunch of lame and unfunny comedy. The closest thing was Kane giving Seth the head of his statue back in a good bit. Kane was eventually declared competent and Rollins whined a lot, eventually Pillmanizing Kane’s injured ankle.
Corporate Kane would be taken to an ambulance but Demon Kane came back out and destroyed Rollins. I’m not loving this idea but at least it’s something different. Also, they have to do Kane vs. Rollins at some point so why not do it on a show where they know the main event is going to carry everything else?
Big Show squashed Mark Henry to set up Saturday. Short and harmless. Well except to Henry.
One of the big segments of the night was Team PCB on MizTV. This is where I really started losing interest in the show. Paige came out and it turned into this big whining fest between the three of them plus Team Bella about who started the Divas Revolution. This felt like WWE was copying the Kardashians or some Real Housewives show with all the whining and cattiness.
Aside from trying to find a reason to care about who started this Revolution, this made every person involved in this story look like they were about 17 years old. It’s a bunch of whining and people sounding stupid as the title is forgotten again. I don’t want to see the division going in this direction, but unfortunately this is the kind of “entertainment” that dominates pop culture these days and it’s likely going to be more prominent in this division going forward.
Oh and Team PCB reformed for a match but Paige walked out, allowing Nikki to pin Charlotte for the title. Charlotte’s reign as champion is making Rollins look great by comparison.
The Wyatts squashed the Prime Time Players. This was fine.
King Barrett beat up Neville and Stardust. I’m glad he’s back but I don’t buy for a second that Barrett is going anywhere.
Bray Wyatt babbled a lot.
Randy Orton squashed Bo Dallas.
Ryback started a fight to break up Rusev vs. Kevin Owens in less than a minute. Dolph Ziggler ran out to superkick Ryback.
Let’s look at this set of segments for a bit. There was maybe ten minutes spent on these, but I’m not sure if I like that or not. The matches being short helps as there’s no reason to have something like Orton vs. Dallas go anywhere, but it’s kind of hard to care about matches that don’t get any time and everything goes flying by. It felt like they were trying to fill time and I can’t stand it when a show feels like it’s there for no reason. I can see both sides of this, but I’d really like something with more depth to it than what we got here.
Heyman came out to talk about Big Show vs. Brock so Big Show came out and scared him. No one with a brain who has seen five minutes of WWE believes Show has a chance here and it’s really annoying to have to sit through all these promos and matches building up what is going to be one sided.
The main event was a big brawl between Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns. This was barely a match and that’s exactly what it should have been. They fought into the crowd and the highlight was the aftermath with Bray picking up a PERSON and throwing him at Reigns. Reigns speared Wyatt through a table to end the show in a brawl clearly designed to set up a match inside the Cell. Nothing wrong with that. Again though, Bray threw a PERSON at Reigns. That’s awesome on a whole different level.
Raw was……yeah this week. It feels like they’re spending more time setting up the house show on Saturday than the pay per view, which made for some uneven moments tonight. There are parts of it that I liked but at the same time it still feels like they’re searching for their next idea instead of knowing where they want to go and that’s never a good thing. Things should change a lot next week with the MSG show out of the way, but they should have already started some more of the build towards the pay per view.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – September 28, 2015: The Really Old Try
Monday Night Raw Date: September 28, 2015
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole
Tonight is a packed show, headlined by the return of the US Open Challenge for John Cena’s United States Title. It’s always fun to see who is going to be accepting the challenge and probably having the best match of the night with Cena. In addition to that we’ll have Becky Lynch and Paige on MizTV and fallout from Kane pulling Seth Rollins through the mat last week. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Seth Rollins’ issues over the last week. His loss to Ambrose on Smackdown isn’t mentioned because that show doesn’t exist in the mainstream WWE universe. It’s almost like that loss to Ambrose really didn’t need to happen, at least not by pinfall.
Opening sequence.
Here’s John Cena for the US Title open challenge. The fans aren’t all that thrilled to see him though. Cena: “Have no fear because THE CHAMP IS HERE!” The challenge is on now. Instead of just one challenger though, all three members of New Day are here. They sing a little song about winning the US Title before Kofi says they might as well be called Team Scrooge McDuck because they’re about to be swimming in gold. The concert isn’t over yet because they sing NEW US CHAMPS to the tune of Cena’s theme song. Cena wants one of them right now and it’s time to be serious.
US Title: John Cena vs. Xavier Woods
Cena gets right in Woods’ face in the corner during the big match intros. The bell rings and Cena takes his head off with a clothesline two seconds in, sending Woods to the floor. Woods: “I WASN’T READY!” Big E. gets knocked off the apron and Kofi grabs Cena’s foot to break up an early Shuffle attempt. That earns both Kofi and Big E. an ejection and we take a break after 80 seconds and two moves.
Back with Cena hitting the Shuffle but Woods slips out of the AA and getting two off an enziguri. A middle rope DDT gets two on the champ but the flipping clothesline is countered with a sitout powerbomb to give Cena two. Woods comes right back with a reverse suplex and Lost in the Woods (Eat Defeat) for two each. Xavier misses a missile dropkick and Cena slaps on the STF, drawing Kofi and Big E. in for the DQ at 9:22.
Rating: C+.It’s not a classic or anything close to one really, but this was all it needed to be. Woods was in way over his head here but came out looking fine. There was almost no chance of a new champion here but the there didn’t need to be. This was about the segment that set up the match and a fun performance, which is all this needs to be about a lot of the time. Good stuff here.
Post match here are the Dudleyz a few seconds later for the save. It looks like a six man after the break.
John Cena/Dudley Boyz vs. New Day
That’s exactly what we have and it’s joined in progress with Kofi getting pounded down in the corner by D-Von and then Bubba. Cena requests and receives a tag and it’s time for Kofi to get some rotating stomps of his own. The Shuffle sends Kofi over for the tag to Big E. and it’s power vs. power. Big E. shoulders Cena into the corner and it’s time for some dancing, followed by the real rotating stomps.
Kofi slaps on a chinlock as Woods plays the trombone and shouts that he should be US Champion. For some reason this results in Cole bringing up that he’s undefeated at Wrestlemania and Byron saying that’s like him being Tupac. E.’s splash gets two but Cena rolls over and tags in D-Von as everything breaks down. D-Von launches E. into the ropes but knocks Cena off the apron in a big crash. What’s Up hits Kofi but Bubba is sent out for not being legal, allowing Kofi to hit Trouble in Paradise for the pin at 6:45.
Rating: C-. This started good and hit a brick wall in the middle. Cena getting knocked off the apron was a turning point and it makes sense to have New Day beat the Dudleyz when it’s 3-2. I’m not sure what happens in the tag match on Saturday in MSG and I rather like that feeling.
The Authority and an unknown woman are in the back when Kane comes in. The woman is from human resources due to a complaint against Kane for creating an unsafe working environment. Rollins comes in and hints very strongly that he made the complaint. Kane promises to take this seriously before glaring at Rollins. A sip of coffee brings him back to reality and he’s off for his evaluation. This continues to intrigue me a bit but these performance evaluations are almost never any good.
Ambrose suggests that Reigns fighting Bray one on one might not be the best idea. Dean will stay in the back unless Strowman and Harper get involved. Reigns says that Orton will have his back too and Dean gets a bit annoyed. Orton comes in and Dean says he doesn’t want any outsiders trying to come in and save the day. Roman calms things down.
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
I’ll be shocked if this breaks two minutes. Show spears him down and plants Henry with some slow slams and a kick to the face. The KO punch ends this at 2:36. I get what they’re doing with Big Show and I appreciated them using Henry instead of someone with value, but can they really think that the exact same formula for building someone up is going to work again?
It’s time for MizTV and Miz starts us off with a recap of Paige’s heel turn promo last week against the rest of the division. Miz’s guests are Becky Lynch and Charlotte, the former of whom calls Miz a chauvinist jackass. Miz: “First One Direction breaks up and now PCB?” Charlotte tells Paige to get out here for a talk or a fight but here are the Bellas instead. Nikki says this is high school drama and she knows she’s getting the title back.
Charlotte invites her in to tap out one more time but Nikki brags about breaking the record. Nikki talks about Paige saying she started the Divas Revolution (Stephanie being dropped is the right call all the way around) but Charlotte goes off about how the Divas Revolution is about the fans and the action in the ring. Alicia brings up the 3-2 advantage but Becky is ready to fight anyway.
Cue Paige to say she put the NXT women on the map by being their first champion. Nikki asks about the drama again but Paige asks who needs ambition when the Bellas have boyfriends like theirs. I believe that’s the first reference to Cena and Nikki’s relationship on Raw, or at least one of the first. A big brawl clears the ring.
Team PCB vs. Team Bella
So PCB is working together against a common enemy a week after breaking up. Brie comes in but gets double teamed by Charlotte and Becky but the Bellas drag Becky into the corner. Nikki gets in some stomps and Brie gets two off a suplex. A double clothesline puts Becky and Nikki down as the announcers plug Total Divas.
Charlotte comes in to no reaction and everything breaks down. Nikki kicks Charlotte off the Figure Eight and right into Paige, sending her walking to the back. Natalya comes out to replace Paige, who pulls her off the apron for a crash. Nikki uses the distraction to hit the Rack Attack for the pin on Charlotte at 6:26.
Rating: D. So to recap, here’s Charlotte’s reign: wins the title after hitting two moves in a long match, gets beaten up by Brie until she hits one move, then gets pinned in a six person tag. They’re really not trying to hide the fact that they want it back on Nikki and that’s not a good thing after all those months of her as champion.
WWE2K16 video.
Video on the history of Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar.
Rollins is badmouthing Kane to the human resources woman when Kane comes in. Seth changes his tune and Kane gives him a present: the head of his statue. Kane dug it up from the landfill after searching all night and Seth is shaken as you might expect him to be. Kane thinks it’s funny and the woman is equally freaked out.
Wyatt Family vs. Prime Time Players
Harper runs over Young to start and I don’t see this going well. Darren gets knocked to the floor and Braun takes the mask off. The beating continues and Darren keeps getting destroyed inside. Young finally gets in a shot and makes the tag off to Titus for some house cleaning. A powerslam and big boot drop Harper but Strownman offers a distraction so Harper can get in the superkick. Braun grabs Darren and Titus’ save attempt completely fails. The discus lariat from Harper sets up the choke from Braun to knock Titus cold at 4:18.
Rating: D+. Total and complete squash here which is all it needed to be. Strowman is one heck of a monster and this is the kind of stuff that reenforces that perception. The Players are looking less and less important every week, but then again this is the company where you’re a jobber one week and pushed strong the next so they might be in line for a title shot.
Neville vs. Stardust
Neville flips across the ring to start but is quickly caught in the Tree of Woe. Stardust charges into a boot though and Stardust slides to the floor. He springboards into a dropkick from Neville and it’s time for the Red Arrow but cue King Barrett for the DQ at 2:33.
Barrett stares at Stardust but gives him a Bullhammer. Barrett says all hail the return of the king.
Here are Kane and the woman for his evaluation. She’s already come to a conclusion after about an hour and twenty five minutes, but here’s Rollins to interrupt. He shows us a quick recap of Kane’s demonic side (or at least the last few years of it) and says he’s going to Heaven instead. The Pope told him so and Rollins believes him because of how good he’s been feeling lately. Kane shows us a video of Rollins tormenting Kane and calling for him to lose his authority.
The report says that Kane is sound of mind and can keep doing his job. Rollins deserves the evaluation because he’s cruel, paranoid, and the most unprofessional person she has ever seen in WWE. Seth comes to the ring and gets in Kane’s face. Rollins drops the belt so Kane goes to pick it up, only to have Rollins give him a Pedigree. He adds in some chair shots for good measure and even Pillmanizes the ankle.
Rollins laughs and says Kane looks very human to him right now. Kane is loaded onto a stretcher and into an ambulance….but the windows start glowing red. The door opens and Kane comes out in the demon attire. He starts limping but stomps his foot and is suddenly walking just fine. Seth tries a chair shot to no avail and a chokeslam leaves him laying. The threat of a tombstone sends Seth tumbling up the steps and Kane holds up the title. So the evaluation thing was really just a waste of time wasn’t it?
Bray asks if we saw what they did earlier. The Family makes him so proud and they would love nothing more than to come out there tonight and tear Roman to pieces. However, Bray is going to grant Roman’s request to face off one on one. They are the alpha and the omega because it starts and ends with the two of them. Only a fool believes he can look into the dragon’s eyes and believe he won’t be burned. Run.
Bo Dallas comes out for a match but first he says the Buffalo Bills just have to Bo-Lieve to win the Super Bowl.
Bo Dallas vs. Randy Orton
Orton quickly takes it to the floor and drops Dallas across the barricade right in front of some of the Bills. Back in and the RKO ends Bo at 2:00.
We look at Kevin Owens walking out on a tag match on Monday.
Rusev vs. Kevin Owens
Non-title and Ryback is on commentary. This is fallout from Owens walking out on Rusev on Thursday. Owens is knocked to the floor but he throws Rusev into Ryback for the DQ at 46 seconds.
Dolph Ziggler runs out for the save.
We recap the Dancing for Pediatric Awareness challenges between members of the roster.
Here’s Paul Heyman to talk about the MSG match with Big Show. Heyman knows Big Show better than everyone else and he sees Show as a 6th grade math genius who gets a C+ because he’s bored. There’s no competition for Big Show right now, but there will be this Saturday. Brock Lesnar is going to destroy Big Show like never before and take him to Suplex City.
Cue Big Show to say he knows Brock is worried. Heyman didn’t finish talking about Brock’s tour because he knows it could end this Saturday night. Paul leaves and Show tells him to imagine a world without Brock. I appreciate them trying to build something but dude. It’s Lesnar vs. Big Show. Let it go.
Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt
Wyatt brings Harper and Strowman with him but a single insult is enough to make Bray send them back. Roman starts fast with a throw and the apron boot as we take an early break. Back with Bray holding a chinlock, followed by a big slam to set up another chinlock. Reigns fights up and hits the corner clotheslines but the Superman Punch is countered with a standing Rock Bottom attempt.
Some elbows break Roman free but Bray takes his head off with a clothesline for two. Bray loads up a superplex but Reigns slips through the legs and powerbombs him down. Reigns no sells a kick to the face (stop watching puro dude) and Superman Punches Bray to the floor, only to have the spear hit the steps. Bray picks up the steps but Roman knocks them away and keeps fighting to the double countout at 13:04.
Rating: C. This was fine but the ending was pretty obvious. I’m glad neither guy got a win as there was no way this ended here, though I’m not sure where this feud actually does end. You have to assume that Rollins is the right third man one day, but does a six man finally blow this off? Wyatt not losing is a big plus and almost a rare sight, which is a nice surprise.
They keep fighting into the crowd with neither being able to take over. Bray knocks Roman into the barricade and charges Roman through it and back to ringside. Wyatt poses on the announcers’ table but Reigns pops back up and spears him through the table to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This is a hard one to grade as the show had some good things as well as some bad things. I like that they’re keeping some stuff short. I remember days where they would have had Orton vs. Dallas go for seven or eight minutes but there’s really no need to do so. Keep the thing short like it should be and give the time to something else.
Unfortunately those somethings else were Kane and Big Show, who are being used as the big stories before we get to the Undertaker match inside the Cell. Now to be fair, these stories could have been FAR worse. It also helps that Big Show vs. Lesnar is this Saturday instead of in another month. The match isn’t something I want to see, but it’s on a free show and now in the main event of a pay per view so this could be a much bigger issue.
Overall, this is your Raw special to the letter: a good enough show that would have been so much better minus an hour. It was clear that they were filling in time, but at least it wasn’t horribly dull filler this time. There’s definitely a better energy lately and you can see a lot more effort in the midcard stories, which has been one of Raw’s biggest problems in the last year or two. The effort changes everything though and has made these last few shows so much easier to sit through. If they can find a way to cut down on the show’s length, they’d have a FAR better show overnight but that’s not happening anytime soon.
Results
John Cena b. Xavier Woods via DQ when Kofi Kingston and Big E. interfered
New Day b. John Cena/Dudley Boyz – Trouble in Paradise to D-Von
Big Show b. Mark Henry – KO Punch
Team Bella b. Team PCB – Rack Attack to Charlotte
Wyatt Family b. Prime Time Players – Standing choke to O’Neil
Neville b. Stardust via DQ when King Barrett interfered
Randy Orton b. Bo Dallas – RKO
Rusev b. Kevin Owens via DQ when Ryback interfered
Roman Reigns vs. Bray Wyatt went to a double countout
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 21, 2015
We’re coming up on Hell in a Cell and again the main event has been set far in advance with Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. That’s one of those matches that really doesn’t need a lot of direct build so we can focus on everything else for a change. Tonight we get fallout from Rollins going 1-1 at Night of Champions because that’s what World Champions do these days. Let’s get to it.
They mixed things up this week by starting with the Wyatts coming out to talk instead of Rollins or the Authority. It’s amazing how much of an improvement this was and how refreshing it felt to have ANYTHING different starting things off. It’s not like they even started with a match or anything really different. Just seeing some new faces out there was a nice touch.
Anyway, Bray bragged about winning until Reigns came out to challenge Bray one on one. That’s where this feud is likely destined to end and it’s the most logical story they could tell. Eventually Strowman and Harper came in to save their boss but Ambrose came out to help even things up. The big deal here was Randy Orton running out to help the Shield guys, which is likely your next six man at Hell in a Cell.
I could get behind the idea of constantly replacing the third man on the team until it’s Rollins for the obvious big match, but I’m hoping they don’t turn Reigns heel in the process. At least not until the end that is, as he really doesn’t need to switch until the war with the Wyatts is over, at least for now because that one could go on for years to come. That’s not a bad thing either.
Now we get to the big story of the night with Rollins going in to see the Authority but finding Corporate Kane, who has no memory of what Demon Kane did last night. I like the idea of a split personality and neither one remembering anything the other has done as at least it’s something different than the normal Kane. The idea here is that Kane has made Rollins, who is still banged up from last night, vs. Cena (again) for the US Title tonight. The Authority would talk to Kane later and bring up that they haven’t talked to Kane in weeks. They do nothing to change the match and let Kane’s decision stand of course.
The Lucha Dragons/Neville beat Ascension/Stardust in a match where the announcers kept trying to figure out what to call Ascension/Stardust. Basically the same match as last night.
Ryback squashed Bo Dallas and got attacked by Owens post match. There isn’t much to say here but I’m digging the idea of having the feud continue. Above all else: Owens initiated the violence, which is a strong ground for my false hope about Kevin going somewhere with the title instead of being another coward champion.
Now we get to the other big story of the night as Charlotte came out to celebrate the title win but Paige eventually turned heel and did her best AJ Lee doing her best CM Punk impression with a pipe bomb. This is at least a good idea and had the great line of “Nattie doesn’t even seem to work here anymore.” Paige as the secondary heel is an idea, but I have a bad feeling they’re just going to have the Bellas back on top by the end of the year anyway. I mean, they’re on that reality show and that’s totally more important than Paige being on that reality show.
I’m not sure where they’re going here. It would seem that Paige/Natalya might hook up which would be fine, but I’d really like to see one of the Divas on their own for a bit. We’ve spent two and a half months on the team battle series and now we’re possibly getting Paige/Natalya as the overlooked ones to fight the Bellas and Charlotte/Becky. Paige is interesting, but she needs to change her style up a bit.
Brie Bella came out almost immediately and lost to Charlotte in a match very similar to the one from last night. I’m not understanding this idea of having Charlotte play Randy Savage from 1995, but it’s defeating the purpose of her entire character/style so far. She’s awesome in the ring but the idea seems to be to have her sell forever and then hit one big move. As usual, they set up something cool on NXT and then “fix” it on Raw.
Sheamus squashed Henry to remind us that he’s here.
New Day/Rusev beat the Dudleyz/Ziggler in a long match. This worked quite well and it’s still mainly due to Xavier Woods being allowed to do whatever he wants out there. The idea of letting an entertaining guy be entertaining is very foreign around here but this is what happens when it’s given a chance. I mean, BULGARIAN TRICEP MEAT? How can you not love that? The Ziggler vs. Rusev story has hit its peak and the problem now is what to do with them since Lana is out for months. You know, because a wrist injury makes it so hard to appear on TV.
Remember how Natalya was brought up for the first time in forever? Well she lost to Naomi thanks to a Sasha distraction. It does seem like she and Paige might hook up and I don’t know why I’d be interested in seeing another team story.
Big Show squashed Cesaro to build himself up for the Lesnar match. This is one of those rare cases where I completely understand the logic behind what WWE does and find it to be the dumbest idea in years. Do they really think that in NEW YORK CITY the fans are going to treat Lesnar vs. Big Show like a normal match? Having Lesnar squash Big Show (which he will) is fine but don’t waste someone with potential on the way. Use Swagger in this spot or something but stop using Cesaro to put over someone like Big Show who is 43 and has done the same stuff for years now.
John Cena beat Seth Rollins again to retain the US Title in a good match. I like seeing them fight because they have good chemistry, but enough already. We don’t need to see them fight once a month, especially when Cena beats the World Champ every time and never gets back in the World Title hunt. It’s pretty clear that Kane is getting the next shot, which makes these pinfalls all the less logical. Why have someone pin the champion and then never follow up on it? Ah yes, because you have Kane, who to be fair did start this story with Rollins months ago and deserves to be able to finish it. Just nix the champ losing all the time.
Demon Kane pulled Rollins through a hole in the ring because we’re really going there again.
Overall, Raw worked for the most part but there are some major flaws in there that are hard to cover up. Chief among them: having the World Champion get pinned twice by the same guy in 24 hours when there seems to be no intention of having that guy go after the title. Is it any wonder why no one wants to watch Rollins as champion? He’s a loser at this point and it takes a lot of work to get rid of that kind of stigma. The wrestling was good but a lot of the booking fell short.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete 1997 Monday Night Raw Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – September 21, 2015: Running On Empty Again
Monday Night Raw Date: September 21, 2015
Location: Laredo Energy Arena, Laredo, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton
It’s the night after Night of Champions and it seems that we’re heading for Kane vs. Rollins for the World Title at Hell in a Cell. On the same show we’ll be seeing Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar for the last time in a match that was a potential Wrestlemania headliner. As for tonight, there’s also a chance we’ll see the return of the US Open Challenge as John Cena regained the US Title last night. Let’s get to it.
We open with the Wyatts instead of the traditional recap. Bray tried to warn Roman Reigns with words but he just didn’t speak loudly enough. Then he tried to warn Roman with actions but he just didn’t hit hard enough. Then last night he choked the golden idol by the throat and showed that he was right about everyone falling down.
Cue Reigns to say he wants to finish this with Bray, one on one, right now. This doesn’t even need to be a match because they can just have a fight. Harper and Strowman head to the floor and Bray is ready to fight. Reigns takes over with right hands and the corner clotheslines, followed by the Superman Punch.
This brings Strowman and Harper back in but Ambrose charges out, runs by Strowman in a smart move, and fights Harper. A pair of suicide dives have almost no effect on Braun but Reigns gets back up. Unfortunately so does Bray and the Wyatts’ numbers game takes over. This brings out Randy Orton to even things up and the combined forces of a bunch of right hands, a missile dropkick and the Superman Punch finally knock Strowman to the floor, though never off his feet. How nice was it to open with a fight and a return instead of a lot of talking that will only be repeated 95 times later in the night?
We recap Rollins’ two title defenses from last night, as well as Sheamus not being able to cash in due to masked Kane’s return.
Rollins comes in to the Authority’s office and finds a very perky Corporate Kane. The monster says he’s back and asks if Seth got the e-mail. The Authority isn’t here yet but Kane has arranged for Seth to have his rematch for the US Title tonight. This was the most entertaining Kane has been since HELL NO.
Lucha Dragons/Neville vs. Ascension/Stardust
Rematch from last night’s pre-show. Sin Cara and Konor starts with Cara slipping off the top on a springboard attempt. It was just a slip and not a horrible botch but it looked bad. After some stomps from the villains it’s time for a chinlock from Konor. Stardust comes in for a cartwheel, allowing the tag off to Neville. Viktor tries to break up a Red Arrow attempt like he did last night but Neville jumps over him, only to get Disaster kicked out to the floor as we take a break.
Back with Neville in the wrong corner with Konor being launched at him for two. Off to the chinlockery for a bit before Stardust puts Neville into an inverted Gory Stretch of all things. Neville finally kicks Konor in the head and makes the tag off to Kalisto. Everything breaks down with Cara running back in for a suicide dive on Konor. Stardust gets dropkicked to the floor and the Salida Del Sol pins Viktor at 10:32.
Rating: C-. The botches really hurt things here and dragged down what could have been a fun six man tag. Sometimes things can get dicey when you try to move too fast. This could have been a lot worse but the Cara botch set the stage for the match. I’m not sure where the feud goes from here, but maybe they both add a fourth for some Survivor Series action.
The limping Rollins comes up to the Authority to ask what they’re thinking about reinstating Kane. They have no idea what he’s talking about, but apparently Kane was allowed to make Cena vs. Rollins again tonight.
Stills of Kevin Owens winning the Intercontinental Title last night.
Ryback vs. Bo Dallas
Owens comes out to do commentary. Bo congratulates Kevin on his win and is thrown across the ring by Ryback. Dallas gets shoved down and a suplex gets two. Cole asks about Owens raking Ryback’s eyes to win the title last night. Owens tells Cole not to believe everything he reads on the internet. Dallas comes back with a kick to the face and a chinlock but Ryback shrugs him off. The Meat Hook and Shell Shock put Dallas away at 3:40.
Rating: D. Just a plot device here and another good use of a jobber. I’m fine with Dallas losing because his character is the kind of person who can pop right back up with a single obnoxious promo. Owens vs. Ryback is a feud that has potential if they go somewhere, which hopefully seems to be a possibility.
Owens goes after Ryback post match but has to run away from a Shell Shock attempt.
Here’s Ric Flair to talk about how proud of a father he is. The fans start chanting THANK YOU RIC but Flair quickly thanks the fans to get this back on Charlotte. The proudest moment of his life wasn’t all his World Titles but rather last night when his daughter won her first Divas Championship. This brings out Team PCB to celebrate. Charlotte has to fight back tears because she’s a Flair.
She’s fought a long way to get here and gained two best friends on the way. Becky makes her laugh every day and Paige is the woman whose footsteps she followed in. Paige takes the mic and says that this is all because of her. Yeah Charlotte won the title last night but Paige won it on her first night. The first time Charlotte defends the title, the Bellas will win it back and everything goes back to normal.
There is no Divas Revolution because Becky is irrelevant, Charlotte is just a placeholder and Team Bad is all flash and no substance. Then you have Summer Rae and Lana who are trying to figure out who to climb on top of next. There’s Nattie, who doesn’t seem like she works here anymore.
Everyone knows why the Bellas are where they are (implying relationships with Cena and Bryan but not actually saying it because Nikki and Cena aren’t a thing outside of Total Divas). Paige says that Charlotte is where she is because of her old man and walks off. Cue the Bellas with Nikki saying that Charlotte is going to lose because she can’t handle the pressure of being Divas Champion. The Bellas really should have been saved for later because the turn didn’t get the chance to sink in but it still worked very well.
Brie Bella vs. Charlotte
Non-title. Brie starts fast with a middle rope dropkick and knocks the champ to the floor. The bad knee from last night gets sent into the steps and Charlotte is in early trouble. There’s a dragon screw leg whip followed by a leg lock as Becky plays cheerleader. A dropkick to the ribs gets two and a chop block puts Charlotte back down again. Off to a half crab for a bit until Charlotte comes up with an enziguri. The neckbreaker and spear set up the Figure Eight to make Brie tap at 6:24.
Rating: D+. Can someone explain the logic of having Charlotte on defense for about 90% of her title win and first match as champion? I mean, she’s considered awesome for her abilities on offense and athleticism so you have her on the mat holding her knee most of the time? Brie is the less talented Bella, which really should tell you most of what you need to know about this match.
Sheamus vs. Mark Henry
Henry runs him over to start and it’s time for a breather on the floor. A clothesline does the same but Sheamus comes back with the ten forearms. Mark breaks it up at about six or seven but the Brogue Kick puts Mark away at 2:26.
Sheamus says it’s a matter of time until he’s World Champion.
The Authority comes in to see Kane. Instead of asking why they waited an hour to come talk to him, they ask why they didn’t hear from him since he got hurt. Kane brushes it off and says he wanted to make a big impact tonight by making Cena vs. Rollins for the US Title. Stephanie wants Kane to give it back and holds her hand out. Kane high fives her but Stephanie wants the mask. The mask is gone from its case and Kane accuses Stephanie of losing it. Kane is happy to help her look for it though and smiles a lot.
Natalya comes up to see Paige and says Paige isn’t the only one who has been frustrated. The only person standing in Paige’s way has been Paige herself.
New Day/Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler/Dudley Boyz
Before the match, Woods holds up a piece of table in a bag which was apparently removed from his……shall we say nether region. Kofi asks how many tables must be destroyed. Big E. suggests building a wall around Dudleyville to keep those Dudleys away from our people, our values, and our tables. Kofi and Ziggler get things going with Kingston grabbing a top wristlock. Kofi’s leapfrogs set up a monkey flip but Dolph lands on his feet.
Off to D-Von for a legdrop and right hands, followed by the belly to back neckbreaker on Big E. Rusev scampers to the floor and we take a break. We come back with Ziggler dropkicking Big E. but having to scare Woods off the apron, allowing E. to score with a clothesline. Rusev stomps away and it’s time for the rotating stomps, complete with trombone accompaniment.
Rusev comes in so Xavier plays Rusev’s theme music as we hit the chinlock on Ziggler. A back elbow to the jaw drops Ziggler (Woods: “BULGARIAN TRICEP MEAT! WHY DOES ZIGGLER HAVE ZIPPERS AND NO POCKETS???”) and Big E. comes in for an abdominal stretch. Kofi breaks up the hot tag attempt and dropkicks Kofi down for two. It’s back to Rusev for choking as he shouts that Lana is his.
The running DDT finally allows a diving tag to Bubba and everything breaks down. A big boot puts E. down and it’s off to Ray vs. Rusev. Well for all of five seconds as D-Von comes in for a double suplex, followed by Dolph playing D-Von in What’s Up. Ziggler superkicks the trombone out of Woods’ hands (thankfully Summer makes the catch) but turns into a superkick from Rusev for the pin at 14:12.
Rating: B-. Oh man Woods gets better every week. This is what I’ve been talking about with comedy in wrestling: you can tell that these guys have been told to go out there and do whatever they think is funny and they’re running with it. It’s a different style than what WWE decides is funny and it makes for something much more entertaining. The day that trombone (seriously, they got a trombone over. I can’t get past that.) gets broken, which better not be for at least another four months, is going to be glorious.
We recap Kane’s odd antics throughout the night.
Natalya vs. Naomi
Both girls flip up to their feet to start until Naomi kicks Natalya in the face for two. We hit an early chinlock as Paige is shown watching in the back. Back up and Natalya makes her comeback, including a discus lariat (Me: “JBL is going to say shades of her daddy.” JBL: “SHADES OF HER DADDY!”) but a Sasha distraction lets the Rear View end Natalya at 3:46.
Rating: D. I’m so glad we got Natalya back for this mess. There’s a chance this leads to her teaming with Paige under their common issue of being held back. It’s worked for less talented people before so why not these two also. The match was nothing special but it’s cool to see at least one team sticking around.
Rollins asks the Authority about the plan for tonight. HHH gets all serious and tells Seth to worry about Cena because they’ll take care of Kane. This has been another moment where HHH’s emotions change on a dime and it’s considered totally normal.
Cesaro vs. Big Show
Rematch from Smackdown which isn’t important enough to mention. Cesaro gets chopped out of the air to start and runs him over with a shoulder. Show launches him across the ring as this is a total squash so far. The Final Cut sets up a chinlock until Show misses an elbow. Cesaro starts his comeback and breaks up the chokeslam. Show is knocked to the floor for a European uppercut, only to catch Cesaro’s cross body off the announcers’ table and drive Cesaro into the post. Back inside and Cesaro suplexes Show from the apron back inside, only to have Show KO Cesaro for the pin at 6:30.
Rating: D. I know WWE says they’re making movies. This must be where they show the trailers over and over again (because this is the same ending as the Smackdown match) and then expect us to see a movie where we know the ending because it’s a sequel to the wreck of last year’s Royal Rumble and EVERY MATCH THESE SHOW AND LESNAR HAVE HAD IN LIKE TEN YEARS. Of course there was no one in the back that you could have take this loss instead of Cesaro too. No one. Not Swagger or anyone, who is even more like Lesnar than Cesaro. Typical WWE.
Post match Show says he’s going to knock Lesnar out and pin him like he did in 2002. For some reason this takes like three minutes.
We recap the Wyatt Family/Orton/Ambrose/Reigns segment from earlier.
Harper says he hears Bray’s voice in his head. Bray taught him to learn from his mistakes but Orton never learned that lesson. Strowman talks about skinning a snake and drinking its blood. Bray says Randy will fall like everyone else. It’s amazing how much better this team is when Bray isn’t losing every other week.
US Title: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Cena is defending. Rollins jumps the champ during the intros and gets an early two. Some right hands have Cena in trouble. Like, way more trouble than a sneak attack and some right hands should have him in. The Pedigree is countered and an enziguri gets two. Cena comes back with that big clothesline that he uses when he needs to make a comeback but the announcers are too busy talking about the Kane story to notice. Seth escapes the AA and scores with a DDT for two.
Back with Seth putting on a chinlock, followed by a shot to Cena’s face. Cena comes back with the usual but Rollins bails to the floor after the Shuffle. John throws him back in but a superplex is broken up, allowing Rollins to get two off a low superkick. We hit the STF on Cena but he muscles his way up for the counter.
The Pedigree is countered with a catapult into the corner and Cena pulls him off the middle rope with an electric chair. They counter finisher attempts until the Buckle Bomb sets up a Falcon’s Arrow for two on Cena. Cena grabs a quick STF but Rollins grabs a rope even faster. A Five Star Frog Splash gets two on Cena but he rolls through into the AA for the pin to retain at 15:38.
Rating: B. I would have had a lot more fun with this match if I hadn’t seen it a day ago. Also if there was any sort of a chance that Cena was going to lose. Thirdly, was it really necessary to have the World Champion lose a second match clean in two days? I know it’s Cena, but stop having that happen. Now let’s get to the obvious Demon Kane moment.
Post match Corporate Kane pops up on screen and says everyone is coming for the title. People Rollins wouldn’t even imagine. Like the people from his worst nightmares. Cue the demon Kane through a hole in the ring to drag Seth under. Yes they’re REALLY doing this again.
Overall Rating: C+. This show started off with so much promise and then, as is way too often the case, it died about halfway through. Raw runs out of steam way too often these days and it really is just because of that third hour. The night after a pay per view is really rough because you’re looking at six hours of TV in just over a day. It’s too much and drains way too much out of the fans when they’re asked to watch it. The first hour carries this show, but they need to find a way to make this three hour work, because the fans are going to go away more and more with this much TV time to sit through.
Results
Neville/Lucha Dragons b. Ascension/Stardust – Salida Del Sol to Viktor
Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock
Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Figure Eight
Sheamus b. Mark Henry – Brogue Kick
New Day/Rusev b. Dolph Ziggler/Dudley Boyz – Superkick to Ziggler
Naomi b. Natalya – Rear View
Big Show b. Cesaro – KO Punch
John Cena b. Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment
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Monday Night Raw – September 14, 2015: Dance Fever And Scorpion Double Shots
Monday Night Raw Date: September 14, 2015
Location FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
Tonight is the season premier, as WWE throws whatever it can at Monday Night Football to try and not get completely decimated in the ratings. The big match tonight is Charlotte challenging Nikki Bella for the Divas Title in Nikki’s first televised title defense in about two and a half months. Let’s get to it.
We open with a full recap of the statue story because just having Cole explain it in fifteen seconds would be too complicated.
Here’s the Authority walking down the ramp, which now has a Connor’s Cure logo. HHH and Stephanie talk about all the new talent that have showed up in the last year and a half. That group will lead the WWE into the new generation, which will be lead by Seth Rollins. HHH explains the double title defense on Sunday and that’s about it for Seth right now.
Stephanie explains the Divas Title situation and talks about how the Revolution has rocked everything. HHH has a major announcement for tonight: Sting will be wrestling his first match ever on Raw as he faces the Big Show. Stephanie introduces New Day for their title defense and the Authority dances with them.
So wait. They announced New Day vs. the Prime Time Players and the Divas Title in advance, but STING wrestling on Raw is announced with a few hours notice? These decisions continue to amaze me every single week, but at least they made sure to get Stephanie dancing to New Day’s entrance because she’s fun and cool that way. HHH dances a bit too.
Tag Team Titles: New Day vs. Prime Time Players
New Day is defending with Woods on the floor as usual. Darren rolls Kofi up for a quick two before it’s off to Titus for a slam on Big E. We see the Dudleyz looking on as E. comes back with a belly to belly, meaning it’s time for some trombone playing. Back to the starters with Darren escaping the SOS and loading up the Gut Check, only to have Kofi tag out to Big E. The big guy sends Young into the post and it’s time for the rotating stomps, accompanied by more tromboning as we take a break.
Back with New Day still in control and Woods tormenting him with the trombone. Titus comes after them but gets called back by the referee. Woods: “DO NOT TOUCH MY TROMBONE!” Back in and Kofi snaps Darren’s throat across the top rope but he dives into some raised boots. Titus comes in off the tag to clean house and gives Kofi three straight backbreakers. A powerslam gets two on Big E. but Kofi gives Darren Trouble in Paradise on the floor. Woods offers a distraction and gets his trombone broken up, allowing the Midnight Hour to take Titus out for the pin at 12:15.
Rating: C. This was fine and a good way to set up New Day vs. the Dudleyz on Sunday. The Players have had their moment in the sun and it’s time to move on to a more interesting team. Darren and Titus are fine for a midcard team, but I don’t think anyone really bought them as a long term threat, which means they’re left as a nice role team.
New Day celebrates but the Dudleyz come out for a staredown.
Video of Sting at Starrcade 1988, part of a series of clips of his career. Pay no attention to the fact that that was a pretty worthless match.
Seth Rollins comes in to see the Authority and after praising the dance moves, he’s told to worry about Sunday. They do the New Day clap and that’s about it. This is another good example of a segment that didn’t need to be there.
We recap Charlotte making Nikki tap in a brawl last week.
Charlotte and Ric Flair are ready for the title match tonight and Ric praises the Divas division. They’re doing a great job of making this feel like a big deal.
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
It’s just Becky at ringside while Naomi and Tamina are out with Banks. Sasha snaps Paige’s arm across the middle rope to start and bends it around to put Paige in early trouble. Banks stomps on the arm in the corner instead of dropping the double knees before putting on an armbar.
Paige comes back with a knee in the corner and some kicks to the face for two as the announcers debate women’s tennis in an attempt to tie it into the Divas Revolution. A wicked German suplex sends Sasha down onto the back of her head and out to the floor in a heap. Paige tries to dive off the apron but Tamina pulls Sasha away, sending Paige crashing down as well. Back in and the Bank Statement puts Paige away at 5:15.
Rating: C. The potential for a Paige heel turn would seem to make sense and there’s nothing wrong with a story that might be this obvious. Once this team thing is done they can actually get on to something else instead of just running around in circles like they have been for weeks. The match was fine with that German suplex looking awesome, but I’ve lost interest in seeing them fight four times in two weeks. As usual, the word overkill doesn’t exist in WWE’s world.
We recap the Wyatt Family taking out Jimmy Uso and Randy Orton last week.
Video on Connor’s Cure.
It’s time for MizTV with special guests the Wyatt Family. Miz tells them to sit down but Bray tells Miz to not sit because he’s not safe here. After assuring Bray that he’s not the partner at Hell in a Cell (yes Hell in a Cell), Miz tries to talk to Strowman but Braun doesn’t say a word. Bray gets right in Miz’s face and says they’re coming to Night of Champions to show that no matter who comes at them, they all fall down. Cue Reigns and Ambrose in the crowd with Dean beating up Miz for trying to talk. Bray sits down as the other four stare at each other. Reigns calls Wyatt out for the attacks last week and promises to make him pay.
If Wyatt really was the man, he could have beaten Roman one on one but he just can’t do it. A real man wouldn’t have to surround himself with monsters. Reigns and Ambrose have found a third man for Night of Champions and they’re ready to win. Everyone stares each other down and the camera cuts out. This would be much better if they didn’t go to the announcers, meaning they’re sitting there talking while the guys are still in the ring.
Clip of Sting winning his first World Title at Great American Bash 1990.
John Cena vs. Sheamus
Sheamus’ headlock doesn’t get that far so he elbows Cena in the face instead. John is thrown to the floor and we take an early break. Back with Sheamus dropping a top rope knee for two before slapping on a sleeper. Cena pops up and hits the ProtoBomb followed by the Shuffle. A tornado DDT gets two on Sheamus but he comes back with an Edgeucator.
Cena grabs the ropes so Sheamus busts out the ten forearms instead. We get the same sequence with Cena using the STF and hitting some forearms of his own. The AA is blocked and Sheamus ax handles Cena in the face to take over again. Cena breaks up the Brogue Kick with a hard clothesline but can’t follow up. A powerslam drops Cena again but he sidesteps the top rope shoulder. Sheamus charges but Cena powers him up into a powerbomb position, only to flip him over into an electric chair drop. Back up and Sheamus tries the Regal roll, only to have Cena roll over into the AA for the pin at 14:49.
Rating: B. Good match here and I believe the first time Cena has pinned Sheamus in a singles match on TV. This was harkening back to the days of the US Open Challenge (you know, all those weeks ago) and continues to show that Cena can work a very good match with anyone you throw out there against him. Good stuff here.
Here’s Ryback with something to say. It’s appropriate that we’re in Memphis because Kevin Owens seems to have him all shook up. Ryback does a little Elvis and the silence is so deafening that he has to acknowledge it. As he starts to talk about Kevin Owens not being a real man, Owens cuts him off. Owens comes out with a copy of The Secret, which Ryback has credited with his rise to success.
He calls the book a joke and throws it to the floor while calling it a travesty that Ryback is the Intercontinental Champion. Ryback talks about how positive he is and how he fell on his face after rocketing to the top of the company. Owens says he’d take the title the first chance he got, so Ryback offers him a shot at Night of Champions. Kevin leaves without accepting. I really like the idea of these two fighting, but Ryback crediting his success to a book really doesn’t hold up for me.
The next Sting clip is Starrcade 1997, which is possibly the bullet that they never could recover from.
Stardust vs. Neville
The Lucha Dragons come out with Nevilel to counteract the Ascension. It’s a huge brawl to start with the Dragons diving through the ropes to take Ascension out. Neville hurricanranas Stardust to the floor but Ascension drags him away before Neville can dive. No match.
Nikki Bella video where she takes credit for the Divas Revolution. This was…..bad. Yeah that’s the only way to put it. It was bad.
Divas Title: Charlotte vs. Nikki Bella
Nikki is defending in case that’s not really clear. Charlotte takes her down to the mat and drops some knees. The figure four neck lock lets Charlotte rolls Nikki around the ring and tell her to bring it on. Nikki comes back by snapping Charlotte’s arm across the top rope and wringing it down onto the apron as we take a break.
Back with Nikki staying on the arm but Charlotte lifts her out of an armbar into a powerbomb to break it up. A big boot gets two for Charlotte but a dropkick to the shoulder gets the same for the champ. Charlotte scores with the spear but Alicia gets on the apron for a distraction. It’s Twin Magic time and Charlotte rolls Brie up for the pin at 10:02.
I’m not even going to bother rating it yet because here’s Stephanie to say that doesn’t count and Charlotte wins by DQ. Charlotte gets her rematch on Sunday and the title can change hands by any means.
Rating: C-. Well that happened. The match was nothing special but I’m sure we’ll hear for weeks about how awesome it was as the NXT fans point to Sasha vs. Bayley. You had to know they were going with the record because this is all about making the Bellas into some kind of pop culture icon in WWE’s mind and they just had to get her the record, which is totally better than Trish holding the Women’s Title for over a year because reasons.
Sting was at Survivor Series 2014.
Cesaro vs. Rusev
Rusev grabs a wristlock to start but Cesaro does four or five nipups in a row to escape. A headscissors drops Rusev again and the delayed vertical suplex gets one. Rusev’s spinwheel kick gets two but here’s Dolph Ziggler with a present for Summer. The distraction lets Cesaro small package Rusev for the pin at 4:04.
Rating: C-. The booking here was a lot better as you had Cesaro get a win while Ziggler gets to cost Rusev a match. Everyone comes out looking the way they’re supposed to look and Sunday’s match gets some build. That’s the kind of smart booking that WWE lacks so often and it’s a nice touch.
Ziggler superkicks Rusev and Summer sneaks the present with her as they leave.
WWE was at a children’s hospital earlier today.
Post break Rusev is livid and goes into his dressing room. Summer opens the present and it’s……something we can’t see.
Recap of the Tag Team Title match and we run down the Night of Champions card. Owens vs. Ryback for the Intercontinental Title is confirmed, as is Neville/Lucha Dragons vs. Stardust/Ascension on the preshow.
Big Show promises the Authority that he’ll knock Sting out.
Sting vs. Big Show
These two headlined Slamboree 1996 nearly twenty years ago. The Authority is ringside to watch. Sting hammers away to start and gets in ten right hands in the corner. Show tries a chokeslam out of the corner but gets DDT’d down instead. There’s the Stinger Splash but Rollins runs in for the DQ at 1:45.
Cena comes out for the save and HHH makes it a tag match.
Sting/John Cena vs. Seth Rollins/Big Show
This is joined in progress after a break with Cena’s shoulder block bouncing off Big Show. It’s off to Rollins for some stomping but Cena backdrops him over the top to the floor for a big crash. Back in and Cena tries the AA but can’t flip Show over, meaning the beating continues. Rollins and Big Show take turns beating on Cena while they both break up the tag attempts. The slow motion Vader Bomb gets two.
Cena turns Rollins inside out with a running clothesline but Show breaks up another hot tag attempt. Show misses the second Vader Bomb though and Cena dives over for the hot tag to Sting. It’s showtime as Sting cleans house, only to be run over by Big Show. The giant takes the AA and Sting breaks up the Pedigree with a Scorpion Death Drop. The Scorpion Deathlock makes Rollins tap at 11:58.
Rating: C-. I don’t like the ending but I get the idea. Sting isn’t going to win the title on Sunday but it’s still cool to see him in the ring on Raw, just for the novelty of it if nothing else. This could be another stake in HHH and Rollins’ relationship as Rollins couldn’t beat the man that HHH could, but they’ve been teasing the split for months now so I’ll believe it when I see it.
Overall Rating: C+. This was FAR better than last week as you could feel an energy instead of the same boring show they did last week. It was also a good go home show for Night of Champions, which is looking like a pretty fun card on paper. I’m curious to see where some of the stuff goes and that’s exactly what this show was supposed to accomplish. You had some big moments and a good match here so what else more can you ask for out of a TV show? Well done this week.
Results
New Day b. Prime Time Players – Midnight Hour to O’Neil
Sasha Banks b. Paige – Bank Statement
John Cena b. Sheamus – Attitude Adjustment
Charlotte b. Nikki Bella via DQ when Brie Bella interfered
Cesaro b. Rusev – Small package
Sting b. Big Show via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Sting/John Cena b. Big Show/Seth Rollins – Scorpion Deathlock to Rollins
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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 7, 2015
Alas it’s a holiday show and that means they’re really not going to be putting in much effort. I get the idea behind it, but it gets really tiring watching them out there on a show that means nothing and clearly just filling in time before next week’s special episode where for some reason they try to fight off a Monday Night Football doubleheader instead of having a nothing show that night and then doing a major show after Night of Champions and starting the build from there. Then again, when has WWE ever done something that makes sense? Let’s get to it.
Rollins opened the show with his weekly address where he talks to the fans like they’ve never seen an episode of Raw before by recapping his entire title reign. I’m always of the mindset that each episode is someone’s first time watching, but recapping the fact that you beat Brock Lesnar really doesn’t mean anything when you’re fighting Sting and John Cena while Lesnar is nowhere in sight. It’s recapping for the sake of filling in time and for the sake of WWE thinking its fans are stupid which gets old fast.
This brought him to Sting and the statue, which needs to get destroyed already and be done with it. Sting had the statue with him in front of a dark background, which is certainly just a corner of the arena somewhere and not in front of something that will be a big surprise later on.
Sheamus came out as well to tease the Money in the Bank cash-in at Night of Champions because it’s the fall and therefore time to start teasing the cash-in like they do EVERY SINGLE YEAR BECAUSE THAT’S THE STORY THEY CAME UP WITH AND IT HAS TO BE THE SAME STUPID THING EVERY TIME SINCE WE JUST HAVE TO HAVE THAT STUPID BRIEFCASE FLOATING AROUND ALL THE FREAKING TIME! Just cash it in, let Sheamus lose or have a month long title reign and be done with it already so we can have a break before the whole thing starts over again in July.
After a break, Rollins came in to see Mama and Papa Helmsley, who have the whole thing covered because Seth can’t handle an old man without them. Of course no one ever says “hey, let’s go find the cameraman and ask him where he was. Like, there has to be a cable leading to his camera somewhere right?” That’s heresy in WWE though, because we need to praise HHH and Stephanie in their cameo while they’re not really in the arena because not even they watch Raw on Labor Day. Rollins gets two wrestle twice tonight because the Authority treats like like a child.
Paige and Sasha had their same decent match that ended with Naomi distracting Paige so Sasha could get a small package pin. I think this leads to a Paige heel turn, which could be interesting once we get done with the never ending team feuds.
Now we get to the part of the show that actually got on my nerves, which almost never happens: Ambrose and Reigns squashed the Ascension, who had been put together with Stardust in a group on Smackdown. However, since the people who put Raw together don’t seem to watch Smackdown, none of that mattered because Reigns and Ambrose needed opponents for a squash.
I have no problem with Ambrose and Reigns beating someone up, but if they’re trying to do something with Ascension, don’t put them out there to get squashed. You could put any two goofs out there and have them lose in three minutes. You have how many people who haven’t done anything important in months (Heath Slater, Curtis Axel, Damien Sandow, Adam Rose, Fandango etc) but why use any of them?
Instead you put out a team that needs to be rebuilt in the worst way after WWE screwed them up in the first place by having Booker and JBL treat them like idiots and then having the Outlaws and APA, two mostly retired teams, attack them for a nostalgia segment. I’ve said this many times before, but WWE has no idea how to use its roster. They focus on a handful of people and forget everyone else. Put up a big board of everyone on your roster and label it “PEOPLE WE CAN USE” or something, but stop wasting a team that could go somewhere for a spot that any two jobbers could use.
Oh and again, this is what NXT fans are always afraid of: why bother bringing people up if they’re going to be completely wasted for the sake of whatever stupid idea the main show has for them? What does that develop and how is it a good use of the system they have in place? It’s because the people who put together the main show can’t stop and pay attention for five seconds, because the match was less than three minutes long. Any two warm bodies could have done this job as well as Konor/Viktor, but that’s who we get and we’re just supposed to go with it on Smackdown when they’re featured again. Thank you WWE.
Ryback and Owens continue to stare at each other and their feud (is it even a feud yet? Don’t you have to do more than look at and insult each other to constitute a feud?) is still intriguing.
We get a long recap of Ziggler/Summer/Lana and it’s so cheesy that it’s getting awesome. Embrace the fact that it’s a soap opera and it’s a lot easier to bear.
Ryback beat Rollins in the first long match of the night. I still really like Ryback at the moment and it’s cool to see him get a big win, even if it was due to a Sting distraction. They’re building a good Intercontinental Champion with Ryback, and above all else there’s one key: he’s treating the title like it matters. Couple that with actually defending the thing and he’s one of the better champions in a long time.
Rollins (who I’m sick of from this show alone) runs into New Day, who he’s teaming with later. The Dudleyz come in, as do Edge and Christian for a cameo. This turns into the trombone vs. the kazoo, which are both totally awesome. This was great.
Summer Rae/Rusev/Ziggler did some stuff, with only Summer referring to Rusev as Ru Ru being noteworthy.
Orton, Sheamus, RKO, sixteen minutes. I need to get away from this match before I nod off.
The Wyatts beat up Orton for hanging out with Reigns/Ambrose earlier. I like this idea the more I think about it and they’re setting the stage for an outsider to be there to save the Shield boys.
The Dudleyz squashed Los Matadores so they could turn on El Torito. Didn’t they do this before and nothing came of it?
Big Show caused Miz vs. Cesaro to go to a double countout. I guess they’re just swapping Cesaro for Ryback in this feud? That’s their best idea?
The Bellas and PCB had your standard build to next week’s title match where Nikki tapped to the Figure Eight.
John Cena, with the Prime Time Players, beat New Day. This was nothing special and was really just there to fill in some time.
Sting threw the statue into a garbage truck to end the show. He did a little dance around it, which was actually cool because I’ve always loved how Sting moves. It’s different enough from everyone else to make it look cool.
This show wasn’t the worst they’ve ever done but there was a distinct lack of energy to the show all night. The only major thing was the destruction of the statue, which we’ve been waiting weeks for now. It was clear that they were trying to fill in time though, which has to happen every week but it’s a lot harder to sit through when they’re being so blatant with it. The “season premiere” next week should be better, but a bit of energy is all it would take.
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Monday Night Raw – December 22, 1997: Russo Done Right
Monday Night Raw Date: December 22, 1997
Location: Memorial Auditorium, Lowell, Massachusetts
Attendance: 2,403
Commentators: Jim Ross, Michael Cole, Kevin Kelly, Jim Cornette
It’s the Christmas show and things are really starting to find their groove. The Royal Rumble is coming soon and it’s getting clearer and clearer every week that Steve Austin is the next guy. However we still have Undertaker vs. Kane and Undertaker vs. Shawn to go, as well as Owen Hart running around. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the end of last week’s show with the LOD being destroyed by D-Generation X and the New Age Outlaws.
Opening sequence.
The arena has a Christmas theme with wreaths and snow falling.
Here’s D-Generation X with the guys in bathrobes. Shawn asks if all the little boys have been good this year. Before they get their presents though, HHH has a little bit of business to take care of. The Legion of Doom had a great fifteen year career taken down in a single night by D-Generation X. However, the New Age Outlaws want credit for what happened, but they would be best served by staying out of D-Generation X’s business.
As for Owen Hart, HHH won the Rock, Paper, Scissors competition last week and now he gets Owen served to him on a silver platter. HHH tells Owen what he can suck on and now it’s time for Shawn to address Undertaker. Back in the Cell, Shawn gave Undertaker the beating of his life and he’s never going to lay down in a casket. Finally it’s time for the present. D-Generation X disrobes to reveal Christmas boxers, which are lowered to reveal……something censored by D-Generation X logos. I think I’m better off not knowing here.
This brings out Slaughter, who points out that Shawn hasn’t defended the European Title in sixty days so he can either defend it tonight or be stripped of the belt. Shawn is fine with that, so Slaughter makes Shawn vs. HHH for the title later tonight. They tease a quick argument but everything seems to be fine.
Thrasher vs. Henry Godwinn
On the way to the ring, Henry says the Outlaws owe he and Phineas a title shot. Thrasher crashes into him in the corner and hits a quick cross body for two, drawing in Phineas for the DQ in just over a minute.
The Godwinns lay out the Headbangers and beat them with leather straps.
We recap Dude Love vs. the Outlaws over the last two weeks.
Mankind says that when the Outlaws hurt Dude Love’s rips, they hurt his too. Since they’ve ruined his eggnog drinking for the year, it’s better for him to give the Outlaws a beating than to receive one, starting tonight.
After last week’s show, Santa Claus showed up to ask Sable if she had been naughty or nice. Instead he got a kid, who didn’t think he was the real Santa. Incensed, Santa throws the kid out. Cue Steve Austin to ask if this is the real Santa either. If it’s the real Santa, what did Austin want when he was six years old? Santa thinks it was a Barbie and tiddlywinks. That earns Santa a Stunner and the fans are WAY too excited. Cornette: “He cracked Kris’ kringle!”
HHH and Shawn can be heard arguing behind closed doors.
The Rock vs. The Undertaker
Non-title. The Nation offers an early distraction and Rock gets in some right hands, only to charge into a boot in the corner. Another big boot gets two and it’s time to crank on the wrist. Old School is loaded up but Paul Bearer comes out for a distraction, allowing Kama to crotch Undertaker for the save. This match might be a bit overbooked. Back from a break with Rock stomping him down in the corner, followed by the Elbow for two.
Off to a nerve hold on Undertaker as the announcers are talking about what a big win this would be for Rocky. Again, it’s not hard to tell a story on commentary. Undertaker’s comeback is stopped with a low blow and it’s back to the nerve hold. The second attempt at a comeback works a bit better with the chokeslam knocking Rocky silly. A tombstone plants Rock but here’s Kane for the no contest.
Rating: C. These two never had the best chemistry but you could see the future of the Rock coming out here. Undertaker was still in his groove at this point and it was cool to see him selling so much for someone a few rungs beneath him. Good enough match, though the Kane ending was pretty obvious.
Bearer calls Undertaker a sham of a man who ran from Kane last week. Another mention of Undertaker’s dead parents is enough to make Undertaker lunge for Bearer but Kane punches him back. Undertaker grabs Kane by the throat but lets go and gets beaten into the corner without putting up a fight.
We recap the first hour.
Hour #2 begins.
European Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending but Owen Hart runs in and nails HHH during the entrances. Slaughter comes out to break it up and Shawn claims conspiracy. Back from a break and, in what is becoming WAY too common of a custom, we replay exactly what we just saw. The match will take place later.
The New Age Outlaws search for Mankind in the bowels of the building but beat up someone who just happened to be down there.
Marc Mero vs. Scott Taylor
Before the match, Mero tells Sable to come out here in her special outfit, which is a full body reindeer costume. Cornette is livid as Sable doesn’t want to come to the ring. The reindeer’s nose lights up and Mero throws her out. After the opening bell, Sable takes off the reindeer head and Mero is already distracted. Taylor fires off some chops and sends Marc face first into the mat. A rollup gets two for Scott and that flipping double kick to the back gets the same, only to have Mero grab the TKO for the fast pin.
Mero hits Taylor low post match and loads up another TKO, only to have Brandi come in for the save. Sable takes off the reindeer gear to reveal a rather fetching Mrs. Clause outfit.
HHH says he has everything to gain tonight.
Kurrgan vs. 8-Ball
8-Ball goes after the knee to start but his right hands in the corner have almost no effect. Jackyl keeps talking on a live mic at ringside and the distraction lets Kurrgan get in a cheap shot. Back in and some clotheslines put Kurrgan on his knee but Jackyl grabs his foot. Kurrgan’s sideslam is enough for the pin.
Recon and Sniper come in to triple team 8-Bull but Skull makes the save with a 2×4.
The Outlaws still can’t find Mankind.
Ken Shamrock vs. D’Lo Brown
Shamrock gets right to the point by taking Brown to the mat by the leg. A fireman’s carry and a headlock takeover have D’Lo in even more trouble as the announcers give us one of the first discussions of the Royal Rumble. The belly to belly sets up the ankle lock to make Brown give up.
The Nation is ready to go after Shamrock but the Rock calls them off. Now, Rock knows that his fans want to know how he feels about the Gulf Crisis. Well maybe he’ll get into that another day, because now he wants to call the UFC a bunch of has been’s. Rock is in a giving mood tonight though and offers Shamrock an Intercontinental Title shot at the Royal Rumble.
Shawn says he’s fixing D-Generation X tonight.
The Outlaws find Mankind, who beats the tar out of them as he sings The Christmas Song. Eventually they get him into a walk-in freezer and lock him inside.
Here are Goldust and Luna in with Goldust as a Christmas tree and Luna in a silver two piece swimsuit. Not quite the traditional look, with Cornette describing it as what happened when the nuclear power plant was installed near the North Pole. Goldust reads A Visit From St. Nicholas (the real name of the poem most commonly known as The Night Before Christmas) in a very stereotypical high pitched voice. The real Santa comes out to give candy to the fans before he knocks the coal out of Goldust. As you might expect, it’s Vader. Cornette: “I thought it was a jolly fat man in a red suit, and it was!”
European Title: HHH vs. Shawn Michaels
Shawn is defending, meaning nothing has really changed in the last hour. There’s no contact for the first minute before they lock up. HHH shoves him down, runs the ropes for about fifteen seconds, and covers Shawn for the pin after no action.
HHH celebrates like he just won the WWF World Title to end the show. Shawn starts to cry and says he’s never been so emotionally and physically drained after a match. HHH channels Rocky Balboa and says “YO SARGE, I DID IT!” Slaughter laughs and says, without a microphone, that HHH is defending against Owen Hart last week. D-Generation X has no idea to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This is what Russo is capable of when he has someone to funnel his ideas into a watchable show. There are still some kinks that need ironing out but the show is still coherent enough and the stories were all advanced tonight. If you cut stuff like the Henry vs. Thrasher match and probably Kurrgan’s squash and added that time onto some of the matches, you would have one heck of a show here. Still though, the year is closing out on a hot streak, which is a really nice surprise.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: August 31, 2015
So…..yeah I’ve missed these for a few weeks. I know I missed the week before this but it’s a stretch to do one of these for this show and going back another week would be even worse. Anyway, it’s eight days after Summerslam and Sting is back to go after Seth Rollins, despite having losing his only match in the company. Let’s get to it.
We opened with Sting and that still doesn’t feel right in WWE. Sting was out there to talk about Rollins, but this somehow turned into a love fest for HHH. His speech was about how losing to HHH (who hit him in the head with a sledgehammer) earned his respect and Rollins will never be half the man that HHH is. Sting is going to prove that Rollins hasn’t earned the respect that he’s claiming, which is Sting’s entire character in a nutshell.
In other words, this feud is now going to be about HHH, because it sets up the feud with HHH vs. Rollins, which has been coming for months now it seems. I like the idea, but it would be a bit nicer if these were shades of gray instead of just making it clear that this is where the feud is going. I’m still not sure if Sting wins the title or not, though they seem to be making it a bit too clear that Sheamus is cashing in. I know WWE likes to beat things over our heads because they think we’re idiots, but this is almost too obvious. Therefore, I’m thinking Rollins retains over Sting, which almost guarantees that Sting gets the belt.
Rollins wanted his statue so Stephanie made sure to praise HHH a bit (made sense here for a change) before telling him to go ask Sting. This would be another segment that really didn’t change anything but why bother with something like that?
Rusev and Ziggler had a long match that ended in a DQ because this is destined to end in a mixed tag. Well at least it was. Now the interesting part here was where this went for the rest of the night, as Summer would be seen sneaking into Ziggler locker room before then running off screaming as Ziggler came out mostly sans clothing.
This got us into a soap opera which has been going ever since and I hate to admit the fact that I’m kind of loving it. Above all else: they’ve given me a reason to care. There’s a story here that is so over the top and ridiculous that it’s hard not to get sucked in, even though I know it’s bad. It helps that Rusev is left playing the role of muscle while everyone else does the drama, which is a much better fit for him. Well done all around Well that and Lana’s new outfit. That’s kind of a big plus too.
The best thing about this story though is I’m not sure if Ziggler cheated on Lana or not. Granted it’s about as low stake as you can get, but there’s always something good about not knowing where a story is going. It could be either ending here, though hopefully it ends with Ziggler going full on heel again because Dolph being noble and loyal to Lana doesn’t fit him in the slightest.
One of the other big stories of the night was Team PCB having a Beat the Clock Challenge for the right to face Nikki Bella for the title at Night of Champions. Charlotte wound up winning in something not really surprising, but I lost almost all interest in the Divas division (yeah it’s not a revolution, no matter how many times they’ve hammered it into our head that it’s a revolution) after the last month wasting our time. The matches were nothing special because of how short the time was, but at least we’re FINALLY getting to the title hunt, even if it means we have to listen to Nikki talk about being some empowered woman or whatever.
Ryback beat Big Show in a short match thanks to Miz, which seems to be the blowoff for this feud. I can’t say I’m complaining as I really didn’t need to see these three fight any longer. Big Show still seems to want to go after Miz, but at least they can’t be fighting over a title anytime soon. The match was short and a way for Ryback to show off his power, which he’s done about a dozen times on Big Show, which is why the company thinks it’s so impressive.
Kevin Owens beat Cesaro in a really good Summerslam rematch where Owens knocked him ribs first into the announcers’ table to injure Cesaro’s ribs. This was a good win for Owens and wraps up their feud, unfortunately with Cesaro getting swept but fortunately with no rubber match that WWE loves to put on. Owens seems primed for a shot at the Intercontinental Title and that’s a great spot for him right now, whether he wins the title or not.
Braun Strowman squashed Dean Ambrose, which is the best thing that he could have done for his first official match. The guy is a monster and he can tear a path of destruction for a few months until someone finally knocks him off. Just don’t make it obvious that he’s going to eventually be knocked off and everything will be fine.
The Dudleyz beat New Day in a non-title match because they have to have a champion lose once every few weeks, just to keep them interesting you see. Also because they don’t have any other teams to beat down besides the ones with the titles. More on that next week.
The big segment to end the show had Rollins demanding his statue back but being told by the Authority that he has to defend both titles at Night of Champions. Stephanie talked a lot but I usually get lost when she talks because all I can hear are buzzwords and charities that I’ll never hear of again because Stephanie has moved on to something else for her cause of the month. She does quite a few charity bits no?
Overall, Raw was a really solid show this week with almost everything serving a purpose or at least being good. Night of Champions is looking like an awesome show instead of the filler show that it so often is. We’re still waiting on that statue to be destroyed but I’m sure it’s going down soon enough. Good week this time though as they’re actually hot right now.
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Monday Night Raw – September 7, 2015: They Certainly Got The Labor Part Right
Monday Night Raw Date: September 7, 2015
Location: Royal Farms Arena, Baltimore, Maryland
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton, Michael Cole
It’s a holiday show, which means we might not be in for the most action packed episode this week. Coming out of this weekend, the question is what does John Cena’s potential injury mean for Seth Rollins and his double title defenses? WWE has said Cena isn’t injured, but there’s always a chance it’s going to be addressed. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
Seth Rollins gets things going this week and tells us about how special he is. Until he cashed in Money in the Bank at Wrestlemania, everyone believed Brock Lesnar was invincible. Then he knocked John Cena off the pedestal and became the first man to hold both the US and World Titles at the same time. Yes Seth we know. Much like everyone else in WWE, you feel the need to repeat the same lines over and over because it gets them talking on Facebook or something.
Anyway, he had a statue, Sting stole it, and now Rollins wants to crush Sting’s legacy as a result. Seth can do that by beating Sting at Night of Champions, but then he has to deal with Cena, who has politicked his way into the title scene again. That presented a problem but then Rollins remembered who he was. This has been his year so he’ll solve this problem just like any other.
Rollins wants his statue back so here’s Sting on screen, standing next to the statue. Come and get it he says, so Rollins says he’s not afraid. Cue Sheamus instead who asks if Seth is worried about Sunday. Seth is worried about his statue instead but he makes sure to call Sheamus Ronald McDonald with a bad haircut. Sheamus: “Leave my family out of this.” Sheamus teases cashing in at Night of Champions.
Post break Seth goes to see Stephanie to ask if HHH has a plan. After Stephanie gets annoyed at Seth for not thinking she can handle this (you have to get that Stephanie praise in there you see), HHH comes in and Rollins is relieved. HHH makes things even worse though as he makes Rollins vs. Ryback and Rollins/New Day vs. Prime Time Players/John Cena. Stephanie says she thought Rollins should go after Sting but Rollins wanted to hear HHH’s idea.
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
Rematch from last week where Paige only had about a minute and a half to beat Sasha, meaning she came up short. Paige throws Sasha around to start and elbows her in the corner, only to have her kick caught, setting up Sasha’s double knees in the corner for two. Back from a break with Sasha getting another near fall and throwing on a chinlock.
Paige quickly fights out but gets pulled off the middle rope to give Sasha another near fall. Sasha’s cross body is nearly countered into the Rampaige but Banks gets to the floor. Back in and a quick wheelbarrow suplex gives Paige two but Naomi comes in for a distraction, allowing Paige to grab a small package for the pin at 9:56.
Rating: C+. It’s a nice match but the commentary suggests that the Divas Title match will indeed be at Night of Champions rather than next week as was hinted at on Smackdown. Therefore, this was another match that is meant to fill in time until we can get the big Nikki Bella moment that we’ve all been waiting for, meaning this has been another ten minutes of your time wasted.
Ascension vs. Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose
Now, on Smackdown, Ascension was made to look tough again when they beat up Neville. I’m sure WWE wouldn’t totally waste that by having them get squashed here and act like Smackdown meant nothing. Dean beats Viktor up to start before it’s off to Roman for more of the same. That’s fine with Reigns who punches out both Ascension members with ease before Dean comes in with a suicide dive. The apron boot to Viktor sets up the Superman Punch and a Doomsday Device of all things, which sets up the spear. Dirty Deeds puts Viktor away at 2:53.
Post match the Wyatts come on screen to say the apocalypse is at Night of Champions.
That being said, SCREW YOU WWE! You set something up on Smackdown and you can’t send out Los freaking Matadores do job here? No of course not, because why do that when Ascension is there? Geez they make Smackdown worthless by their own actions.
Ryback says Rollins whines a lot and is an architect but tonight, Ryback’s plans are a Meathook and Shell Shock. Kevin Owens comes up to wish Ryback good luck and warns him not to bite off more than he can chew.
We recap Lana/Dolph Ziggler/Rusev/Summer Rae. There’s even a narrator for this.
Ryback vs. Seth Rollins
Non-title and in a VERY cool thing, Ryback lets a kid hold the Intercontinental Title. The announcers are too busy getting in their talking points to notice of course. Rollins bails outside and hits the stall button to start. A shoulder sends Rollins right back to the floor but Ryback is patient enough to stay inside. Rollins gets rammed into the corner as the announcers argue over whether or not Sting stole the statue. As in the thing he doesn’t own that he took.
Ryback stays on the arm before chopping Seth down with ease. The delayed vertical suplex, with Ryback walking around the ring, gets two on Seth. Rollins gets Ryback out to the floor and tries a suicide dive, only to have Ryback catch him in midair. Ryback is whipped into various metal objects and it’s time for another break. Back with Seth getting two off a neckbreaker and putting on a chinlock.
Ryback punches him in the face and sends Seth flying with a backdrop. A powerbomb and the low superkick are both countered but the second attempt at the powerbomb connects for two. For some reason Ryback goes to the top but has to break up Seth’s superplex attempt. The top rope splash misses and Rollins baseball slides Ryback outside.
There’s the suicide dive but Ryback is still able to beat the count. Back in and Seth charges into a spinebuster but he escapes Shell Shock and nails an enziguri. This brings up Sting to say the statue is waiting for Rollins, allowing Ryback to grab a small package for the pin at 18:45, good for the second distraction into a small package finish of the night.
Rating: B-. This a better finish, this is a much higher grade. It’s a bad sign when they’re already reusing a finish less than an hour and twenty minutes into the show but you can’t expect them to think of that much on their own. Ryback getting the pin is a nice surprise though as he’s one of the best Intercontinental Champions in years.
Sting pops up again and puts a Sting mask on the statue.
Rollins (yes again with Rollins) is looking for his statue but here’s New Day to interrupt with a trombone recital. Seth yells at them but runs into Edge and Christian who are here for the Steve Austin Show. Edge brings up Rollins threatening to kill him to get the Authority back and wants a fight right now. Rollins bails so Woods wants a musical battle. This means the return of the KAZOO!
Edge thinks New Day sucks but Big E. eats the kazoo. Well he stuck it in his mouth and threw it out but we’ll say he ate it. The Dudleyz come up and tell New Day that the Prime Time Players get a title shot next week. The winners of that face the Dudleyz at Night of Champions. New Day freaks out but Bubba says now they can leave. Oh and the Dudleyz have a new song: GET! THE TABLES! GET! THE TABLES! With rhythmic clapping of course. Well that was awesome.
Here’s Summer Rae, who is sad over everything that happened last week. We get the recap again, with Cole saying it “gripped the world.” No Cole, it didn’t. Also, Ziggler and Lana are WWE’s power couple. Yes, he said power couple. Summer wants to apologize to the person who has been hurt so much in all this: Rusev.
This brings Rusev out so Summer can thank him for all of his inspiration. Last week when Ziggler invited her into his locker room, everything was just too much for her and she temporarily betrayed him. Rusev forgives her so Lana says “thank you Ru Ru.” Rusev rips on Ziggler a bit, so here’s Dolph with a message from Lana (who is out with a broken wrist) in the form of a superkick. I hate myself for starting to love this story.
Randy Orton vs. Sheamus
Yes, AGAIN. Orton quickly takes him down in an armbar, likely because he’s so bored by this pairing that he needs a rest. Back up and they’re still in the feeling out process until a shoulder puts Sheamus on the floor. Sheamus gets back in and heads outside almost immediately (same idea as Rollins earlier). He yells at the fans on the mic but catches Orton coming out with the Irish Curse as we take a break.
Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock, followed by the Regal Roll. He demands that everyone respect the hawk and snaps Orton’s throat across the top. The battering ram from the top gets two and the fans are really not interested here. The Cloverleaf doesn’t work so Sheamus resurrects the Edgeucator (a Sharpshooter but with Sheamus pushing on the legs instead of pulling). Orton makes the ropes and comes back with the hanging DDT, only to charge into White Noise for two. The Brogue Kick misses though and the RKO ends Sheamus at 15:49.
Rating: C-. Not only was it boring but it wasn’t even that good. These two just do not have chemistry and they’ve bored the crowd so many times now that I’m sick of both of them. I’m a fan of both guys but it’s not an interesting match. Never let these two fight again and the show will be a lot more entertaining.
Post match the Wyatts surround Orton, who was seen talking to Reigns and Orton earlier. Orton gets destroyed by all three monsters and Reigns/Ambrose aren’t even nice enough to come out for a save.
Cole calls next week the season premiere, which of course is taking place on the show before a pay per view because THEY CAN’T EVEN GET A SCHEDULE RIGHT WHEN THEY MAKE UP THESE ARBITRARY DATES IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Los Matadores vs. Dudley Boyz
Diego takes Bubba down to start and the masked men get in some quick fast paced offense. That’s the extent of the good for them though as D-Von comes in to clean house and 3D ends Fernando at 1:38.
Post match Los Matadores blame El Torito so the Dudleyz make the save. Fernando goes through a table.
Cesaro vs. The Miz
This is fallout from earlier tonight when Cesaro turned down Miz’s offer to help publicize the Cesaro Section. Cesaro takes him down to start and easily throws Miz to the floor for some more of the beating. The fans are behind Cesaro as you might expect but Miz kicks Cesaro in the still banged up ribs to take over. Cesaro flips over the top rope because he’s athletic like that, only to get dropped ribs first onto the top rope. Miz kicks him to the floor and sends Cesaro into the barricade a few times but here’s Big Show to chase Miz around, causing a double countout at 4:17.
Rating: D-. So now we’re doing Miz vs. Big Show vs. Cesaro? As in they’re doing the same story they just did but with Cesaro instead of Ryback? This show has been a mess so far and it’s not getting any better as it goes on. Can we please get something interesting instead of this lame stuff all over again?
Back from a break and it’s Bella time. Nikki shows off the Bellatron and invites us all to the Bellabration next week when she breaks the record. This brings out PCB, with Charlotte making the announcement that she’ll be challenging Nikki for the title next week instead of at Night of Champions. A brawl ensues and Nikki taps to the Figure Eight.
John Cena/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Seth Rollins
A fan tries to follow Rollins to the ring but he’s quickly stopped by security. Cena and Rollins get things going but it’s off to Big E. before anything can happen. The NEW DAY SUCKS headlock goes on as Woods plays the trombone. Woods: “Cena’s gonna learn today what some tricep meat feels like!” E. shoves Cena around as JBL does his best JR impression by making some football analogy that doesn’t go anywhere. The belly to belly gets two on Cena and it’s off to Rollins for some stompings. Big E. tags himself back in for the rotating stomps and Seth doesn’t get the idea.
Back from a break with Kofi getting two on Cena off a high cross body. The SOS gets two more and Rollins breaks up a hot tag attempt. It’s back to Big E. as Woods sits on the steps for some tromboning. E. misses the Warrior Splash and Titus finally gets the tag to clean house. Everything breaks down and Darren gives Woods the Gut Check, only to have Big E. suplexes Titus down. Cena and Rollins get tags and the Pedigree is countered into the STF, only to have Rollins get to the corner for the tag to Kofi. The second high cross body is rolled through into the AA to put Kofi down at 13:08.
Rating: C. Yeah fine. It’s one of the better things on the show and that’s a nice improvement after everything else we’ve had to go through tonight. Cena pinning Kofi is fine as New Day is firmly in a spot where they can get their heat back with one set of antics and a loss means little.
Cena does the Millions of Dollars dance before leaving Rollins alone in the ring. Sting appears on screen in front of the statue. The lights come up and the statue is in front of a garbage truck. I think you can guess what happens. Rollins grabs his titles to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This was one of those shows where you were punished for being a fan. They didn’t put in any effort on this one because no one The worst part about this show is that it could have been good but they were clearly not trying. It was one of those shows where they were just here to fill in time before the real stuff starts up again next week on the season premiere, which can’t be after Night of Champions because of reasons.
This show felt like it went on for about eight hours, but that’s what you have to expect on a holiday. Of course they can’t do something special here because they don’t want to waste it, even though they never actually use these special ideas that they’re allegedly saving. Not the worst show ever this week, but it was a LONG sit that would have been far better at two hours. I didn’t say good, but at least better.
Results
Sasha Banks b. Paige – Small package
Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns b. Ascension – Dirty Deeds to Viktor
Ryback b. Seth Rollins – Small package
Randy Orton b. Sheamus – RKO
Dudley Boyz b. Los Matadores – 3D to Fernando
Cesaro vs. The Miz went to a double countout
John Cena/Prime Time Players b. New Day/Seth Rollins – Attitude Adjustment to Kingston
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of NXT Reviews: The Full Sail Years Volume I at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – August 31, 2015: Male Cheerleaders And The Periodic Table
Monday Night Raw Date: August 31, 2015
Location: Amalie Arena, Tampa, Florida
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
Last week saw the return of Sting and the disappearance of a statue, meaning tonight is likely to continue the time honored tradition of destroying that statue once and for all. Sting vs. Seth Rollins for the WWE World Title is confirmed for Night of Champions, but what about Rollins’ US Title? John Cena is still lurking so let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s closing segment where Sting appeared in the statue’s place. HHH made the match after the show went off the air.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sting (with complete face paint this week) to open things up. JBL: “The man who put Starrcade on the map!” Just….no. Under no circumstances can that be considered correct. Sting hasn’t been around much since Wrestlemania where he lost to HHH. Due to that match, he’ll always have respect for HHH, but now his sights are set on Seth Rollins.
Ever since Wrestlemania it has been injustice after injustice and last week he had to hear Seth Rollins comparing himself to names like Bruno Sammartino, Andre the Giant and the Ultimate Warrior. Sting has won titles around the world but there is one that has eluded him throughout his career. At Night of Champions, Sting is going to prove that Rollins isn’t half the man HHH is and that Rollins can’t hang with Sting on his best day.
Rollins is upset but Stephanie talks him down. Seth lists his accomplishments this year and calls everything Sting said wrong. Stephanie brings up Sting’s comparison to HHH and thinks Sting is absolutely right. Seth wants his statue so Stephanie suggests he go ask Sting.
Rusev vs. Dolph Ziggler
An attempt at a single leg doesn’t get Dolph anywhere so he dropkicks Rusev in the face instead. Back in and Rusev slowly stomps Ziggler down, as is his custom. We get a dueling Rusev chant, followed by Dolph missing a splash in the corner. The sleeper slows Rusev down a bit so he backs Ziggler into the corner for a break. Ziggler gets knocked into the barricade and we take a break.
Back with Rusev throwing on a bearhug, which really should have been put on during the break. Rusev misses a charge of his own but easily breaks up a neckbreaker with a suplex. A running flip backsplash gets two more and Ziggler is in trouble. The spinwheel kick gets the same for Rusev but he walks into a superkick out of nowhere.
They head outside with Rusev charging into the steps but both guys dive in to beat the count at nine. Rusev superkicks him down as well because everyone has to use superkicks in this company. Ziggler sneaks out of the Accolade and a quick Zig Zag drops Rusev, only to have Summer come in for the DQ at 14:21.
Rating: D+. This was more long than it was good and again they’re setting up the mixed tag. Why we needed to see another match between the two of them to set up the obvious match is beyond me, but at least they didn’t have a clean finish. Lana is going to be awesome in the ring, mainly because she’s awesome at everything else so why would this be any different?
A catfight ensues until Ziggler pulls them apart.
Post break Ziggler brags about what just happened. He goes into a room as Renee talks a bit and we see Summer sneak in behind him.
It’s time for the Beat the Clock Challenge for the #1 contendership to the Divas Title, but Team Bella has something to say. Nikki is so proud of making it this far, but we’ve got a Bellatron counting us down to the second she breaks the record.
Alicia Fox vs. Becky Lynch
This is the first match in a Beat the Clock Challenge, meaning whoever wins in the shortest time wins, earning a title shot, presumably at Night of Champions. Becky tries for some fast rollups to start but she gets a bit sloppy and Fox takes over. A chinlock slows things down even more and you can see Becky panicking over the time being spent. Back up and some clotheslines get two for Lynch, followed by a springboard kick in the corner. They hit the mat and Becky grabs Disarm-Her for the win at 3:21.
Rating: D. This is the other issue with the Divas Revolution: the newcomers got over having these epic 10-15 minute wars but now they’re stuck with the three minute matches that have plagued the division for years. For once, this isn’t on them because there’s very little they can do in so little time and that’s not going to change.
Ryback talks about defending his title against everyone and tonight the Big Show will be no different. As he’s talking, we hear someone scream and see Summer Rae running out of Ziggler’s locker room. Ziggler is in a towel and looks surprised.
Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Ryback
Big Show is challenging, Miz is on commentary and we get big match intros. Show takes him into the corner for the loud chop to start and slowly drops an elbow for a close two. With Ryback down, Show demands a microphone so he can address the PLEASE RETIRE chants. He says find someone to do it so Ryback picks him up for a slam, only to have Show fall on him for two more. Show hits the chinlock for a few moments but Ryback fights up and hits a good looking flying tackle.
The splash is caught by the throat though, only have Ryback slip out and hook a double leg takedown (no that wasn’t a spinebuster) for a near fall of his own. The Meathook is countered into the chokeslam for two but Show goes up. Since we’re in Flair Country, the slam off the top is very appropriate. Another Meathook attempt is countered with a spear but Miz gets up for a distraction, allowing Ryback to grab Shell Shock to retain at 7:14.
Rating: C. They had me worried that they were going to change the title here in what would have been one of the dumbest ideas in a long time. I’m sure we’ll get Miz vs. Ryback now, even though Ryback beat him in two minutes a few weeks back. Ryback is the best Intercontinental Champion in a long time and it’s nice to see the title meaning something.
Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
Charlotte’s time to beat is 3:21 because only PCB can win. Brie starts hiding in the ropes to start because she must “protect the Bella Empire.” A Figure Eight attempt doesn’t work and Charlotte has less than two minutes to go. Instead Natural Selection hits out of nowhere for the pin at 1:40 to set Charlotte’s time.
We look at the Dudleyz returning last week.
The Dudleyz say they’re back for one more title reign because it would make then ten time Tag Team Champions. Tonight: New Day goes through a table.
Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens
Owens talks trash to start (shocking I know) and gets shoved down to the mat. A big boot stops Owens cold and Cesaro casually lifts him up for a suplex, complete with right hands to the gut. Cesaro gets two off a double stomp and it’s time for Owens to bail to the floor. That’s fine with Cesaro, who follows him out with a running European uppercut.
A high cross body gets two for Cesaro but Owens comes back with an elbow to the jaw and a backsplash. Owens: “WHERE’S YOUR SECTION NOW???” A corner clothesline sets up the Cannonball and we hit the chinlock on Cesaro. That goes nowhere so Owens busts out the torture rack neckbreaker for two instead and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro failing to superplex Owens so he dropkicks Kevin in the face and gutwrench superplexes him instead. That reverse Angle Slam gets two for Cesaro but Owens superkicks him for the same. Owens tells Cole to watch but misses another Cannonball.
Instead of doing something smart though, Kevin slaps him in the face. In a scary power display, Cesaro catches a tornado DDT in mid air and slams Owens down into a Crossface. Like, how do you even do that? Cesaro can’t suplex him over the top and Owens knocks him HARD into the announcers’ table. Back in and Cesaro can’t Swing him because of the ribs, allowing the Pop Up Powerbomb to put Cesaro away at 16:10.
Rating: B. I liked this better than the Summerslam match as Owens beat him clear after setting up an injury right before the ending. Cesaro took a great looking bump onto the table and Owens has won his last three singles matches. It’s very nice to see him not jobbing every single week for a change and I’d love to see him go after Ryback and the Intercontinental Title next.
Ziggler tries to explain that he thought Summer was Lana. Nothing happened and he threw on a towel as soon as he knew who it was. Lana doesn’t buy it and leaves.
Dean Ambrose vs. Braun Strowman
The fireflies still look awesome. Bray thanks Abigail for giving him the black sheep as her greatest gift. For thousands of years, mankind has tried to predict the end of the world. Tonight the seventh trumpet sounds and they will walk among you undisguised. Stroman, in a voice that Christian Bale would think is too over the top, says this is the apocalypse. Reigns comes out as backup as you would expect.
Strowman throws Dean around with one hand to start and I think the message has been sent. Dean gets in his fast striking but Stroman just throws him down again. A kick knocks Dean to the floor and the slow beating continues. Reigns finally comes over for the DQ at 3:09.
Rating: D+. Nothing to the match here but it did exactly what it was supposed to. Stroman looks like the best monster that we’ve had in a long time and that’s all he’s supposed to look like. Eventually someone is going to beat him, but until then it’s going to be fun watching him be the modern day Zeus or whatever other monster you pick. It’s an old formula that keeps coming back because it works.
Stroman cleans house and no sells a chair to the back. Reigns’ right hand has a bit more effect but Harper comes in with the superkick to put Roman down. Dean gets choked out and Reigns takes that spinning powerbomb thing. Bray comes in for Sister Abigail to Reigns. Notice that Bray didn’t have to do a thing here, which is exactly why he needs minions.
We look at Rollins beating Cena at Summerslam.
Clip of Sting’s opening promo.
Rollins wants his statue back and tells Sting to stay out of his business. Maybe if Sting had a subscription to the WWE Network, he could know how great Seth has been. Yeah HHH used to be a big deal, but HHH never held the US and WWE World Titles at the same time.
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
Paige has to beat 1:40 so she starts very fast and gets some rollups for two each. The fans are split as Paige fires off some running knees for two. The Rampaige connects but Tamina and Naomi pull Sasha to the floor as the clock runs out at 1:40.
Team Bella comes out to pose.
Summer Rae says that Ziggler called her into his locker room but then he just started stripping. She was mesmerized and speechless and then he asked her to join him in the shower. After he got out, he gave Summer the look but she ran out. Summer will never forget the image though.
Lana is crying and can’t say anything.
New Day vs. Dudley Boyz
Non-title. Woods calls the Dudleyz a menace to culture, society and furniture around the world. Big E. asks if you remember the times sitting around the table with your granny and that weird uncle around the Thanksgiving table. Or all that money you cleaned up at the poker table. Or all those summers around the pool table. And where would we be without the Periodic Table? Remember all the fun you had learning your multiplication table? Big E. and Kofi pull out what Woods calls the last table (covered in bubble wrap) here tonight. A SAVE THE TABLES chant takes us to a break before the match.
The Prime Time Players are on commentary as Big E. and D-Von get things going. But it’s quickly off to Bubba vs. Kofi. Woods suggests clapping but Bubba turns it into NEW DAY SUCKS. A clothesline under the arm stops Kofi cold and New Day is sent out to the floor as we take a break. Back with D-Von clotheslining both champions down but Woods low bridges him to the floor. As Woods brushes his hair, Big E. drives D-Von into the barricade. That sounds like a valid reason to dance to me and Big E. agrees.
The rotating stomps set up Big E.’s splash for two. An abdominal stretch slows things down and Kofi’s chinlock does the same. Woods mocks the TABLES chant but Kofi dives into a clothesline, allowing for the tag off to Bubba. Bubba hiptosses Woods in but D-Von hiptosses him right back out in a funny spot. 3D quickly ends Kofi, which JBL calls the Dudleyz’ first match in WWE in ten years. Even he doesn’t watch Smackdown.
Rating: C. I liked the match but the booking makes my head hurt. You have three members of New Day and two of them are the recognized Tag Team Champions. I think you get what I’m going for here. It’s very interesting that the Dudleyz have been doing the same thing for about ten years now and it’s still more entertaining than 90% of most tag teams.
Here’s Seth Rollins to call out Sting. The things Sting said earlier tonight showed him why WCW went out of business. We can’t possibly be talking about that again…..right? Rollins wants Sting to take back what he said about HHH being that much better than him because Seth is every bit as good as HHH and one day could even be better. However, Rollins wants his status but gets Stephanie instead.
She suggests the Rollins chill out because Sting is getting in his head over a stupid statue. Rollins still wants his statue but this time gets John Cena. John talks about the Authority bending Rollins to their will because that’s what they do. They picked Rollins because he was the only one willing to stab the Shield in the back. Rollins is going to be the flavor of the month because the Authority would never allow him to do what he’s about to do right now.
Rollins has a lot of titles right now and since the Authority said every title is on the line at Night of Champions, Cena is cashing in his rematch for the US Title on the same night Rollins has to defend against Sting. Cena asks Stephanie if he can do that and she reluctantly agrees. Sting comes out to pose with Cena to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This was one of the best shows they’ve had in a very long time. It kept moving all night and they didn’t have anything out there that took too long. There’s enough stuff going on here to find something interesting and nothing was really bad. Well maybe the opening match but at least it led somewhere. I had a really good time with this show and it flew by, which is a rare thing for Raw.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Rusev via DQ when Summer Rae interfered
Becky Lynch b. Alicia Fox – Disarm-Her
Ryback b. Big Show – Shell Shock
Charlotte b. Brie Bella – Natural Selection
Cesaro b. Kevin Owens – Pop Up Powerbomb
Braun Stroman b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Roman Reigns interfered
Paige vs. Sasha Banks went to a time limit draw
Dudley Boyz b. New Day – 3D to Kingston
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