Monday Night Raw – July 13, 2015: Viva Las Divas (And Stephanie Just Because)

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 13, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Battleground and thankfully Brock is here, hopefully to beat up a pair of cars in a handicap match this week. Other than that we have the rest of the build towards Wyatt vs. Reigns, possibly even including why they’re fighting and what it has to do with Reigns’ daughter, and more stuff including whatever Ambrose might be doing on Sunday. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of last week’s Lesnar beatdown, complete with Heyman reusing the Dudleys’ commandment of don’t screw with Brock. It’s fair to erase the Dudleys from history at this point so it’s not that big a deal. Heyman might have written that line in the first place.

Here are Brock and Heyman to get things going, drawing a SUPLEX CITY chant. For some reason the crushed car is brought out as Heyman proclaims Brock’s impending dominance over Rollins this coming Sunday. Paul lists off Brock’s accomplishments and the various people he’s conquered before promising to have Lesnar suplex Rollins all over the place, put his foot on Seth’s chest and be proclaimed the champion once again.

Cue Rollins and Kane because YAY KANE IS BACK FROM HAWAII OR WHATEVER THAT STUPID STORY WAS! Rollins talks about how Brock is frustrated over his inability to be champion and stumbles over trying to say “an inanimate object” in a funny goof. Brock has been carrying the car around the country (in a truck or on his back?) like a symbol and that’s just fine, because Suplex City is burned to the ground tonight.

Brock offers to take Rollins to Suplex City tonight but Kane intervenes with the threat of a contract signing. Kane threatens Lesnar if he messes up the contract signing but Heyman laughs off the threats from “Undertaker’s baby brother.” Kane is of course annoyed as Heyman goes on about Brock smashing stuff with one final promise of pain to Rollins if he provokes the Beast tonight.

Ryback/Randy Orton vs. Sheamus/Big Show

Miz is on commentary and this is billed as an All-Star match. I’d prefer we go play that over the top video game instead but have it your way. This is the old standard idea of taking two feuds and combining them into a tag match, which is an idea that stays around because it still works. Ryback knocks Sheamus to the floor to start and we’re in a very early break.

Back with Sheamus bailing into the floor to hide from Orton. Apparently Randy is really bad at hide and seek so it’s back to Ryback vs. Big Show with the latter stomping Ryback down onto the mat to take over. Sheamus tries a bearhug and is easily driven into the corner for the tag to Orton. Remember the days when Sheamus was like, really really strong? What happened to that?

Back from a second break with an Irish Curse (backbreaker. OH THE SCANDAL!) for two on Orton but he counters Big Show’s chokeslam into a DDT for a breather. Miz gets off of commentary and shouts on a mic as Ryback comes in and cleans house. Big Show has enough of Miz though and chases him up the ramp, leaving Sheamus to take an RKO and top rope splash from Ryback for the pin at 15:21.

Rating: C+. Nice long tag match here and again, a good way to set up both matches at once. I would have liked a countout or DQ finish instead of having Sheamus take a pin, but it’s a plus that he took two finishers for a pin so it’s hardly clean. Sheamus vs. Orton does nothing for me and the triple threat isn’t much better, but at least there’s something on the line and Ryback has started looking good again.

Network ad.

Rollins doesn’t like the idea of the contract signing but Kane has a plan.

Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt

Good grief people build a midcard already. Wyatt’s name graphic is just letters on a screen now instead of in a box like everyone else. During the entrance though, Reigns appears and lays out Wyatt as Ambrose is just kind of forgotten. Bray finally gets in a lantern shot to escape. No match.

The Bellas have been nominated for Choice Female Athletes in the Teen Choice Awards. Dear goodness I don’t want to know who else they are.

Here are the Bellas and Alicia Fox with something to say. Nikki brags about holding the title forever because AJ Lee MUST be eliminated from history. She’s defended against every single Diva there is and has given them all a chance. A quick search shows that, at least in TV matches, Nikki has defended against AJ, Naomi and Tamina (whose one shot came at Beast in the East) and that’s it. She calls the three of them Team Bella, because all you have to do these days is put the word Team in front of a name. Come up with something more interesting, please.

Nikki goes on about how awesome she is and how dominant they are….and here’s Stephanie McMahon because she hasn’t laid waste to the Divas yet. Stephanie is a face tonight too because there’s something cool coming and therefore she just MUST be there to get a piece of the action. The legacy of the WWE rests on her shoulders (yes, Stephanie says this company’s history is on HER shoulders) and there’s a revolution going on right now in women’s sports, ranging from women’s soccer to UFC to tennis. These are supposed to be applause lines if that’s not clear.

Stephanie introduces Paige, because of ALL DIVAS IN WWE, Paige is the one that would be thrilled to be associated with Stephanie. I mean Paige is clearly a corporate loyalist right? Nikki talks about how Paige doesn’t deserve another shot, but STEPHANIE runs WWE and this division instead of her.

Stephanie, the WWE and Paige want this revolution (what is she even talking about?) but courage can’t do it alone. Therefore, Paige needs backup. Instead of bringing this person out though, Stephanie goes on about how amazing they are and FINALLY introduces Becky Lynch. Now, does Becky get to say anything and introduce herself? Of course not, because that would cut away from Stephanie’s mic time, meaning the boss gets to introduce Charlotte, in that voice that only Stephanie can deliver.

Cole: “STEPHANIE HAS SHAKEN THINGS UP!” I hate this company at times. Stephanie: “WOO!” Oh shut up. Cue Naomi and Tamina with a mic because we haven’t heard enough horrible voices yet. Naomi says the two of them are all the competition the Bellas need. That’s all the mic time she needs too, because Stephanie needs to bring out Sasha Banks. Sasha stands with Naomi and Tamina, but STEPHANIE WON’T SHUT HER FREAKING MOUTH and talks about setting the table for opportunity.

We get a THIS IS AWESOME chant to a legitimately cool moment and the fight is on. Charlotte cleans house until Naomi dropkicks her down, only to have Paige and Sasha get into it. Tamina breaks up the PTO on Naomi but Brie Bella interrupts as the announcers line up to kiss Stephanie’s feet for these new arrivals. Alicia gets caught in the Figure Eight, Becky puts Brie in the armbar and Nikki gets the Bank Statement as a big NXT chant breaks out. The Bellas and Fox are cleared out and the other six yell at each other as the freaking Total Divas theme plays this out.

I’m not going to bother ranting about how Stephanie made this all about her. It’s Stephanie McMahon, she’s the biggest hound for a spotlight that has ever lived in WWE and you know that if there’s a big moment there that people are going to erupt over, she’s going to shoehorn her way in despite the fact that there is absolutely no logical reason for her to be involved.

This story has been about Paige finding help but that’s thrown out the window because Stephanie has basically just decided to turn this story into a chess game for her own amusement. The big sign here: none of them got to talk and then Stephanie just left after she was the only voice you heard for the big moment. The main part here was all about Stephanie look cool and how thankful we should be for her big gift to us and that’s all there is to it.

Aside from all that, this is EXACTLY what the Divas have been needing for so long. All of a sudden, there is some brand new blood in the Divas’ division and the fans buy into it. They know these three are amazingly talented and can tear the house down…..but the Bellas are still around. As long as they’re the focus of the division (and they will be as long as Total Divas is around), the newcomers are going to have to tone it WAY down so Nikki, Brie and Alicia can handle it and that takes away from the NXT crew’s magic. This is going to be interesting, but they could drag things way down for the sake of breaking AJ’s record.

New Day vs. Prime Time Players/Mark Henry

The hometown boy Xavier Woods says this is the greatest town in the world because they stay positive. Even though they shut down the city due to an inch of snow last year and the Atlanta Hawks choked in the NBA Playoffs, they stayed positive. Kofi is 100% that they’re getting the titles back on Sunday because Prime Time is out of time at Battleground because NEW DAY ROCKS.

Titus shrugs off a Kofi kick to start so it’s off to Darren, who clotheslines E. out to the floor. The Players and Henry throw everyone out to the floor (JBL: “FLYING PH.D!”) as we take an early break. Back with Titus taking the rotating stomps in the corner as the announcers talk about how awesome the Divas were. For once, they’re actually right. E. gets two off a splash but Titus is quickly up and tagging in Henry to clean house. Everything breaks down and a World’s Strongest Slam ends Woods at 8:29.

Rating: D+. Good night do they really not know how to set up a tag match anymore? When is the last time New Day won a match? My guess is they get the belts back anyway because that’s how WWE works these days. The match was nothing interesting and Henry is just thrown out there but gets the pin over a #1 contender anyway. Well sure why not.

The winners dance.

Long recap of Lesnar b. Cadillac via TKO last week.

King Barrett vs. R-Truth

No King entrance for Truth and Cole tells us he rapped to the ring during the commercial. Truth gyrates a lot to start and gets kicked in his face. A backbreaker and middle rope elbow get two each on Truth and a boot knocks him onto the apron. Truth fights out of a chinlock as the announcers talk about Tough Enough to kill time. Barrett misses a charge and eats a Lie Detector for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D-. Good grief it’s going to get a rubber match on Sunday isn’t it? This whole thing is such a waste of whatever they had with the King of the Ring because Barrett hasn’t been embarrassed enough over the years. Bad match, horrible feud, disgusting waste of someone like Barrett for a comedy act.

Truth puts on his king attire.

We recap Rusev destroying Ziggler last week, finally making Rusev feel like a monster (and a wrestler) again.

It’s Open Challenge time and Rusev is here to renew a rivalry that doesn’t need to be renewed. He blames Lana for losing the title in the first place and says he broke Ziggler because of the USA. Before the match though, here’s Kevin Owens with something to say. Rusev says no because he was here first and that Owens needs to pick a single first name. They argue a bit but here’s Cesaro to interrupt as well. Cena heads outside as the three brawl, setting up a triple threat match with the winner getting a title shot immediately after because WHO NEEDS PSYCHOLOGY???

Rusev vs. Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens

Cena is on commentary as Cesaro gets beaten down in the corner. Rusev gets beaten down and Cannonballed, only to have Cesaro hit the running uppercut to Owens’ jaw. Swiss Death gets two on Rusev as Cena puts over the Divas’ segment. Owens has to escape two pinfall attempts, followed by Cesaro doing the same off a Saito Suplex from Rusev. Cena continues to be as good of a commentator as you’ll see in this company, only to have to stop for Cesaro turning Owens’ superplex into a Tower of Doom for two each.

The Russian takes over again as these guys are just hammering each other. Owens blocks Rusev’s German suplex attempt so Cesaro Germans both of them AT ONCE. I know I say this every week but DANG that guy is strong. Since that’s not enough, Cesaro busts out a corkscrew dive over the top to take out both guys. Back in and Cesaro gets two off a high cross body on Rusev but Owens breaks up the Swing with a superkick.

Kevin drops both guys but stops to shout at Cena, allowing Rusev’s Alabama Slam to set up the Accolade. Cesaro saves this time and delays a vertical suplex on the Russian. Well ex-Russian but whatever. Cena keeps making some rather heelish yet totally fair comments about how he’s the lucky one here as these guys are all brawling but he gets to come in fresh. Rusev sends Kevin outside and Owens bails, saying he’ll see Cena Sunday.

Back from a break with Rusev chinlocking Cesaro, only to have the bald one pop up and hit a springboard spinning uppercut to drop Rusev. The apron superplex is countered with Rusev suplexing Cesaro onto the apron to put both guys down onto the floor. Back in again and Cesaro dropkicks Rusev on the top, only to have his superplex countered. The Russian’s top rope splash misses and Cesaro crossfaces Rusev, only to have Rusev power up into something like a spinning Rock Bottom for two more.

Back up again and Cesaro can’t get a Sharpshooter, allowing Rusev to hit a spinwheel kick for two. The Accolade is countered into the Swing which sets up the Sharpshooter, drawing a lout TAP chant. Rusev makes the rope but since this is still officially a triple threat, he has to crawl outside to break the hold. Nice touch of continuity there. Cesaro hasn’t done something cool in all of 14 seconds now so he comes back with a suicide dive. Back in and Cesaro gets tripped off the top, setting up a superkick from Rusev for the pin at 24:02.

Rating: B+. Why not make Cesaro the Intercontinental Champion? Like, just let him go out there and have awesome matches with anyone because Cesaro is pure gold at this point. It’s the simple concept of “hey, this guy is awesome right now so LET’S PUSH HIM!” Unfortunately he’ll probably be forgotten again in three weeks while someone like Barrett or Truth get pushed because they’re funny or something. Like, is Cesaro even going to be on the pay per view?

US Title: Rusev vs. John Cena

The psychology is all over the place here as Cena, the face champion, comes in with a huge advantage since Rusev is spent. Cena starts fast and hits a release fisherman’s suplex followed by a headlock. Rusev bails to the ropes but Cena nails the shoulders. In a nice touch, Rusev can’t get up due to the exhaustion, making the finishing sequence look really awkward. The AA is countered into the Accolade out of nowhere and Cena hangs on for about 45 seconds (fair since Rusev is weakened) until Owens comes back in for the DQ at 4:57.

Rating: D. This was more awkward and weird than bad as Cena was basically wrestling a squash match against a big name until the end where he got caught in a big move. Like I said, this was just strange and would have been FAR better served as a single, four way elimination with Cena involved. It was different, but the execution of the second match didn’t work for me.

Owens gives Rusev a Pop-Up Powerbomb and tells Cena that he’s taking the title on Sunday.

Rollins tells Kane that it’s on him if tonight goes bad.

The Tough Enough cast is on stage when Lita (a coach on the show) comes out with something to say. She officially introduces us to the cast and this is a big waste of time because Tough Enough just isn’t all that interesting this season. It was so uninteresting that I haven’t watched it yet and don’t plan to.

We recap Reigns and Wyatt from earlier.

Stardust (hey he’s back) talks about how the world needs heroes because the world is made up of heroes and villains. “From where I stand, the view never changes.” Neville has been claiming that the forces of evil have forsaken him, but those forces will bring him down. Embrace the strange. Or embrace Cody Rhodes for a change.

Barrett vs. Truth for the crown on Sunday. If Rusev and/or Cesaro aren’t on that show, I lose so much of my faith in this company, meaning I fully expect it to happen.

Stardust vs. Neville

Neville is no longer the New Sensation, which is one of the best things that could happen to him. A loud CODY chant starts up but let’s just keep him as Stardust because it’s done wonders for his career. Stardust isn’t interested in a handshake and kicks Neville down, only to have to get up before the Red Arrow can launch. There’s a cartwheel from Star and we hit the chinlock.

As has been the trend tonight, this match is bizarre as the fans are cheering Stardust instead of the guy they’re pushing as an actual superhero. It’s funny how such shortsightedness works. Neville fights back to silence (I’m stunned too) but Stardust rolls him up and grabs the trunks for the pin at 4:09. JBL: “Go to the pay window young man!”

Rating: D. So let’s see. They’ve (so far) wasted any potential for Cody coming off his father’s passing, Neville looks lame because no one wants to boo the son of a legend whose father recently passed away, and then Stardust cheats instead of getting to make this an important and cool moment. Oh and the match wasn’t any good either. What a mess as psychology means nothing around here.

It’s time for the contract signing to close things up this week. Rollins and Kane are out first and the champ talks about watching the footage of the car being destroyed again. After this Sunday, Suplex City will be a memory and he’ll still be champion, but here’s a Beast to disagree. Well, likely to stand there while Heyman disagrees. Paul says Rollins wants to burn Suplex City down, but the fans want to see him get taken apart for his breaking of the eleventh commandment.

People want to see Rollins get beaten up and that’s what they’re going to see this Sunday when he gets kicked, slapped, punched, suplexed, F5’d and dethroned. Rollins signs anyway, as does Brock, and there goes the table. Kane comes at Brock but Lesnar pulls out an ax handle and actually flips the table back up. The fight is on again and Rollins goes flying. Kane breaks up an F5 on the floor and Rollins hits him with the ax handle.

Some steps to the head have Brock in more trouble but Beast Mode prevails with Kane taking an F5 on the floor. There goes Rollins into the crowd, leaving Brock to crush Kane’s ankle on the steps, likely making this Sunday one on one. Brock poses with the title but we’re not done yet as Rollins comes back to ringside and yells about being the man to slay the Beast on Sunday. Medics tend to Kane so Rollins yells at him too, calling Kane’s career one big disappointment. This is on Kane and Rollins kicks him in the ankle to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This is a great example of a show where the good was good but the bad was really bad. Some of these matches and stories are disasters and I really don’t think I need to explain which is which. The show wasn’t terrible and had some VERY good stuff going on, but between Stephanie throwing herself into a feud she has nothing to do with and the battle of the kings that no one wants to see and a few other big misses, I wanted this show to end instead of wanting to like it. Not the worst by any means and the Divas segment (once it was about them) was great, but WAY too much bad to hold it back.

Results

Ryback/Randy Orton b. Sheamus/Big Show – Top rope splash to Sheamus

Mark Henry/Prime Time Players b. New Day – World’s Strongest Slam to Woods

R-Truth b. King Barrett – Lie Detector

Rusev b. Kevin Owens and Cesaro – Superkick to Cesaro

Rusev b. John Cena via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

Stardust b. Neville – Rollup with a handful of trunks

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – July 13, 2015: The KB Is On His Honeymoon So The Show Will Be Up Later Edition

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 13, 2015
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

It’s the go home show for Battleground and thankfully Brock is here, hopefully to beat up a pair of cars in a handicap match this week. Other than that we have the rest of the build towards Wyatt vs. Reigns, possibly even including why they’re fighting and what it has to do with Reigns’ daughter, and more stuff including whatever Ambrose might be doing on Sunday. Let’s get to it.




Monday Night Raw – July 6, 2015: Well Of Course Brock Smash

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The big story coming out of last week: product placement and lame action. The shows really aren’t lighting the world on fire right now, but a lot of that has to do with a lack of the Authority and Brock, because without the two of them, them show comes off as a glorified Smackdown. Get to the point already or get rid of the Authority as the main focus of the show because otherwise, a show without them on it isn’t going to go anywhere. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap covers last week’s product placement and Rollins reuniting the team.

We open with Heyman and Lesnar coming out to the exact reaction you would expect for them in a smark paradise like Chicago. Heyman talks about how the Authority thinks Brock is still in Tokyo, because they allowed him to show up tonight. Lesnar is a god and hallowed be his name, but he isn’t a god of love or charity or kindness. No, Lesnar is a god of violent retribution and the sword that will pierce Seth Rollins’ shield.

Heyman brings up the Streak but points out that it wasn’t because of any malice towards Undertaker. Heyman: “This one you’ll cheer.” When Brock took John Cena to Suplex City, it was just because Lesnar wanted the title and not out of disrespect. The same was true for Reigns at Wrestlemania, but it’s not the case for Seth Rollins.

No, Rollins has broken the 11th commandment by cashing in Money in the Bank, running away from a rematch and having his Authority buddies attack him two weeks ago. Heyman’s job is to sell us on Battleground in St. Louis, but the beatings and the suplexes begin tonight in Chicago. The Beast of Battleground is waiting for the champ tonight, so Rollins better be ready.

Kane is in Hawaii and we have badly photoshopped and unfunny photos to prove it.

The Stooges have taken a road trip and we’re going to get pictures later. That…..could work?

Big Show vs. Ryback

Non-title and Miz is at ringside in director’s chair with a microphone. In an inset interview, Ryback says he is one of the few who can manhandle Big Show and Big Show doesn’t like that. Well not many people would but Ryback never was very insightful. Miz starts shouting into the mic but only tells the big guys to hit each other.

The fans really don’t seem pleased with this one and Show chops Ryback in the corner. Miz: “ONE MORE TIME! ONE MORE TIME!” Ryback kicks him in the face a few times but Show knees Ryback into the corner. This is a very slow and lumbering match so far which isn’t a great choice for the opening match. Miz distracts Ryback so Show can slam him down as we take a break.

Back with Show holding a leg lock and Miz telling Show that he should never retire (WOO!). Ryback powers out and takes out the knee as well before dropping Show with three straight shoulders. The Meat Hook and a splash get two but the top rope version misses. Show hits a chokeslam and middle rope elbow, drawing in Miz for the double DQ (he was smart enough to hit them both at once) at 9:24.

Rating: D-. I have tried and tried to defend this three way feud but my goodness Big Show is dragging it down. Ryback is trying to become a more interesting character but there’s only so much you can do with Big Show as the power moves against him look cool, but once you’ve seen them a few times (over the last fifteen years or so) they lose a lot of their impact. Let him do comedy again or something, because Show as the big, strong monster is WAY past its expiration date.

Miz attacks both guys and then begs both guys to wait for Battleground. Ignore the large gap behind him where he could run at any time of course. Miz takes a Shell Shock and chokeslam and another Meat Hook drops Show again. At least the champ stood tall.

More Kane hysterics.

The Stooges went to Wrigley Field and weren’t impressed. They could at least take the price sticker off the window. That car better bite the dust before the end of the night.

Brie Bella vs. Paige

Paige gets backdropped to the apron to start and the announcers are already on the amount of days Nikki has held the title. So we’re just stuck with nothing interesting until we get to AJ because Nikki is interesting or something.  Nikki: “BRIE MODE!” You can hear the crowd dying for this one, which could be because this story hasn’t changed in weeks now. Fox gets in a cheap shot but Brie knees down her sister/friend at the same time by mistake. Paige sidesteps the middle rope dropkick ala Samoa Joe but the other girls get involved, setting up the Bella Buster for the pin at 3:12.

Rating: D. This story needs to go somewhere already, and by somewhere I don’t mean having Naomi and Tamina come in to help Paige. This story has been set up for something major and the same Divas being rotated in one more time certainly isn’t it. The Bellas are long past interesting at this point and while Nikki is better than she was, this story needs a rest but we’re pretty much confirmed for the next few months because AJ MUST DIE or something.

Paige gets beaten up post match.

Recap of Wyatt vs. Reigns from last week.

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Get your countouts ready now. Reigns shoves the briefcase out of Sheamus’ hands before we start and the brawl is on with a devastating headlock. Sheamus knees him in the ribs to take over but Reigns pulls him off the middle rope and knocks Sheamus outside. They’re still firmly in first power gear at this point.

Sheamus actually wins a slugout on the apron and sends Reigns face first into the post as we go to a break. That looked (and sounded) good at least. Back with Sheamus holding a chinlock and a nice loud CM PUNK chant keeping the crowd from being bored. Reigns’ best way around this is a bunch of clotheslines, followed by a BIG clothesline in the corner. Feel the intensity!

The Irish Curse is countered and a Samoan drop connects. The Superman Punch is countered into another Irish Curse for two but Reigns Superman Punches him out of the air….and here’s Bray. Roman charges up the ramp and Superman Punches….somebody, as Bray pops up on the screen and says anyone but you. Sheamus wins by countout at 11:20.

Rating: C. Decent enough power brawl here but like I said, it was no secret that we were going to get a countout or some kind of wonky finish. It wasn’t anything of note, but there’s only so much you can do with power brawls, especially when we just had one about forty minutes ago. WWE REALLY needs to work on alternating their styles because you keep getting the same styles of matches over and over and they get old fast.

Post match Randy Orton comes out for an RKO. I had been wondering where he was.

The WWE Network is in Italy. Uh….yay.

Rollins comes in to see HHH, who wants to know what Seth is going to do about Brock Lesnar. The champ thinks he has Battleground in the bag, but HHH is worried about tonight. Rollins needs to do the unthinkable tonight: have him laid out by the Authority like they did two weeks ago. To be fair, that is pretty unthinkable. Imagine the Stooges and Rollins being a real threat to Brock.

Here are Rusev and Summer Rae to keep this mess going. Rusev loves having a submissive Summer around but gets annoyed at the fans wanting Lana. He rambles on about being better than Dolph Ziggler until Summer tells the fans to give Rusev the respect he deserves. Rusev: “Thank you hot Summer.” Is she a radio chick now?

Cue Ziggler and Lana with the former saying Rusev achieved everything he has in WWE because of Lana. Dolph says Lana is his now and it’s time for kisses. The girls tease a fight but Rusev blasts Ziggler with the crutch before taking off the boot. This goes on for nearly five minutes with the only highlight being Summer attacking Lana. Ziggler’s comeback didn’t work and the beating just kept going.

This was WAY too long and my goodness Ziggler sucks in this role. After all the years of being with whatever girl can get him somewhere he’s all gaga over yet another good looking blonde because…..she likes him? Is there any other reason for these two to be together? Rusev needs to murder Ziggler and then do something bad to Lana and then never speak of this whole mess again.

Post break they actually do the big serious talk about Ziggler being attacked. Ziggler even did a stretcher job. This story SUCKS and there is no need to ever talk about it again. Figure out how your characters work and then don’t screw with them because going against established characters is one of the worst things you can do in wrestling or any other form of entertainment.

Bo Dallas vs. Dean Ambrose

Before the match, Dallas talks about how that was a bad thing happening to a bad person. Good things happen to people like him though, as long as you BOLIEVE! The dueling WE BOLIEVE/LET’S GO AMBROSE chants start up as Bo gets two off a clothesline before hitting the chinlock. Bo misses a knee drop and gets bulldogged down, setting up Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:59. This was WWE saying “yeah Ambrose is still a thing after losing Thursday. Oh you didn’t know he lost Thursday? Well then never mind.”

The Stooges got stuck in traffic. Seriously.

R-Truth vs. King Barrett

No entrance for either guy as this feud just keeps going. Barrett stomps him down in the corner to start and a clothesline takes them out to the floor. Truth is sent into the post a few times and we hit the chinlock. A big boot gets two for Barrett and we take a break. Oh freaking joy we get to see more of this match. Barrett hammers away but runs into a series of clotheslines (WAY too popular tonight and in general). Winds of Change is countered into a crucifix for two but a low blow drops Truth. Truth goes up and dives into the Bull Hammer for the pin at 9:37.

Rating: D. So? Barrett has knocked Truth out a few times already, so what difference does it make if he does it again? Why should this horribly uninteresting feud that has made Barrett look even less important than he was when he was Intercontinental Champion? Barrett could be doing ANYTHING else and it would be better but we’re stuck with this. The match was boring too, just like everything else they’ve done.

Back from a break with another look at Ziggler being beaten down. This is treated as way too big of a deal after the mess they’ve made of this feud.

Here’s Rollins with an ax handle and the Stooges with their car and their own ax handles. Oh come on man. No one could possibly be that stupid. Rollins is going to burn Suplex City to the ground before going on about how awesome he is a bit longer. He finally asks if Lesnar is just Heyman’s….uh….I think you can figure this out, so here’s Brock. All three are ready for him so Brock thinks better of it and tells Heyman to bring him something. Heyman brings over an anvil case containing a pair of axes. Oh this is going to be good.

Brock smashes the ax into the car door and can’t even get it out, so he breaks a few windows and tears off a door. The door goes flying into the crowd (apparently hitting a fan, who was ok) and now it’s time for the Stooges to come save their car. Noble winds up with a broken arm and Mercury gets suplexed onto the hood, much to the delight of the crowd. Brock chases Rollins out of the ring and holds up the title to wrap things up.

THIS is what Brock should have been doing for the last six months. Just have him break stuff and be a freak of nature. Don’t have him get beaten down by Kane and the Stooges like EVERY OTHER FACE EVER. That was the problem with the HHH feud: anyone could have played Lesnar’s role. Here, there isn’t anyone else that Rollins hasn’t already beaten or has any real reason to be afraid of anymore so only Brock really fits.

Lucha Dragons vs. New Day

Woods is the odd man out here and the Players are on commentary, with a shirt for Cole. The Dragons speed things up to start but Kofi comes back with a kick to the ribs (devastating!) before it’s off to Big E. Titus goes on about some kind of fungus that Big E. has (maybe he could use a washcloth to clean it up. It didn’t make sense when they said it for weeks on end (and yes I know what it is) so why not say it again here?) before the Dragons clean house and dive on all three New Day guys as we take a break.

Back with Kofi getting two on Kalisto before it’s off to Big E. for more clubbing forearms. The abdominal stretch with the slaps set up a chinlock from Kofi as we hear about where everyone went to college. The hot tag brings in Cara and Titus takes over on commentary, doing a pretty awesome old school play by play, including a quick rant about how he should have JBL’s salary. Everything breaks down and the Midnight Hour ends Cara at 10:16.

Rating: C. This was fine and a nice way to set up the title match at Battleground. Neither of these teams are exactly lighting the world on fire at the moment but it’s nice to see something other than the team fighting over and over again. Titus continues to be WAY more charismatic than half the roster and deserves the success he’s having.

Steve Austin is on the cover of WWE2K16.

It’s Open Challenge time but first we get a package on Owens losing the NXT Title in Tokyo over the weekend. Cena says have no fear because the champ is here, meaning there will be a title match right here on Raw. Again Owens interrupts and says this is the worst part of the show every week because the people have to listen to Cena saying the same garbage over and over again. The bell is about to ring but here’s Cesaro one more time. Cesaro says he deserves another shot because he had Cena ready to tap out but Owens cost him the title shot. Owens walks away from the threat of violence and it’s time for a rematch.

US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena

Cena is defending of course. A quick uppercut puts Cena down on the floor and we take a very early break. Stop doing that nonsense and just have the bell after the break. We got maybe 40 seconds of “action” and then miss three and a half minutes. I hate that way of thinking. Back with Cesaro stomping away as he almost has to play the heel here, even though he’s turned face for all intents and purposes.

A one arm delayed vertical suplex with a squat gets two but Cena shrugs it off (because it’s a suplex) and drops Cesaro with a front face electric chair drop. The AA is countered into a DDT for two and it’s off to the chinlock. That’s good for a second commercial in about five minutes of actual match time because they’re really trying to fill in time. Back with Cesaro catching Cena’s shoulder in a backbreaker and countering the Shuffle with a crossface.

That’s countered into an AA attempt but Cena has to settle for the STF instead. A rope is grabbed so Cesaro rolls some gutwrench suplexes for two of his own. That was a cool looking spot, as always. Cena blocks the Swing by doing a big situp into a DDT for two of his own and the fans are starting to buy into this. Cena rolls through a cross body into the AA but Cesaro lands on his feet.

Swiss Death is countered into a hurricanrana for two and both guys are down. The fans officially think this is awesome so they’ve won over one of the tougher crowd. Cesaro makes it even more awesome with a spinning springboard uppercut for an even closer two. They fall to the floor with Cena backdropping him into the timekeeper’s area but the referee takes his time counting. Well to be fair that’s not really a main event level finish so you can’t go there again.

Cena shoves Cesaro off the top for two off the Fameasser and then tells him to hold the ropes, which Cesaro does to counter another AA. A HUGE Swiss Death connects for two more but a quick AA gets the same. Both guys are spent so Cesaro is able to grab the Swing, setting up the Sharpshooter which he transitions into another crossface, but Cena slips out and puts on the STF.

Cesaro powers out of THAT and lifts Cena up into the air for a snap suplex. That is just scary, scary power. The Springboard Stunner misses so badly that Cesaro just Neutralizes Cena for two instead of going down. Cena’s tornado DDT is stopped in midair and Cesaro slaps him down into another crossface, sending Cena into the ropes for a chorus of boos.

The apron superplex (with EASE) gets two but Cena pops back up and floats over into a Batista Bomb (the sign of Cena being desperate) for a sloppy two, as called out by the announcers. Cena takes him to the corner but almost gets caught in a super Neutralizer, only to be countered into a super AA to retain the title at a mind blowing 30:10.

Rating: A-. Yo Vince, I think the guy can connect to the fans. Cesaro is basically where Dolph Ziggler was a few years ago: having really entertaining matches but never being able to show what else he can do because he’s never given the chance. Cesaro is one of the rare cases where he nails every single thing he’s asked to do and almost everyone is begging for him to move up to the next level, but something about a superhuman freak with a good look who can speak five languages fluently and has nearly fifteen years experience doesn’t click with Vince and for some reason the guy never gets the push he deserves.

At least there was this though, which is somehow better than last week’s near classic. Cena and Cesaro are guys with incredible chemistry and yet another example of someone going out there and having maybe the match of their lives against Cena. I’m hoping that when Cena retires, people look back at him in awe because this is a once in a generation kind of talent and we take him for granted.

Owens runs in and eats an AA to close the show.

Overall Rating: C. It took a lot to bail this show out but thankfully the main event is awesome and eats up well over half an hour to close things out. Other than that and the awesome BROCK SMASH segment, there really wasn’t much to see here. The wrestling in the first hour was horribly lame and the Rusev vs. Ziggler stuff has to end with Ziggler getting eaten like a Russian stew or the whole thing is an even bigger disaster than I was expecting. The main event leaves this on a very positive note, but there’s a lot for it to overcome here.

Results

Big Show vs. Ryback went to a double DQ when Miz interfered

Brie Bella b. Paige – Bella Buster

Sheamus b. Roman Reigns via countout

Dean Ambrose b. Bo Dallas – Dirty Deeds

John Cena b. Cesaro – Middle rope Attitude Adjustment

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Monday Night Raw – July 6, 2015

I’m still in England so Raw should be up tomorrow.  Use this thread to discuss whatever happens and come up with your own ways to blame the Authority for Raw sucking.

Monday Night Raw
Date: July 6, 2015
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Byron Saxton, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield

The big story coming out of last week: product placement and lame action. The shows really aren’t lighting the world on fire right now, but a lot of that has to do with a lack of the Authority and Brock, because without the two of them, them show comes off as a glorified Smackdown. Get to the point already or get rid of the Authority as the main focus of the show because otherwise, a show without them on it isn’t going to go anywhere. Let’s get to it.




Thought of the Day: The Mice Won’t Play

And that’s not good.

Something I didn’t get around to reporting last week was that the ratings for Raw were a disaster (come on guys you can watch even though your boss is gone). Here’s the thing though: it really isn’t hard to figure out why. The problem is, and I hate to admit it, the Authority wasn’t around. WWE has pretty much made it clear that if they’re not around then Raw is basically a glorified Smackdown.

Yeah stuff might happen, but it’s either wrapped up later in the night and barely mentioned again, or completely erased by the Authority. The show has turned into everyone dancing around to entertain HHH and Stephanie as they get to ignore almost all character motivation and logic for the sake of keeping themselves looking good.

The fans know that if the Authority isn’t around, big stuff isn’t happening and they’re much better off going to bed or doing something else and checking the results later, because three hours of mediocre wrestling (and a John Cena match), uninteresting stories and Rollins trying to figure out if he’s his own man or needs to buy the rest of the team presents to save him from some big bad isn’t enough to hook you in all night. WWE can change this line of thinking pretty easily, but it’s been proven before that they’re not very interested in getting Stephanie and HHH off TV that easily and I can’t imagine it happens anytime soon.




Monday Night Raw – June 29, 2015: What A Shock

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 29, 2015
Location: Verizon Center, Washington, D.C.
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Byron Saxton

Battleground is on the horizon and the Authority seems to be reunited to help Seth Rollins defend his World Title against Brock Lesnar. This means Kane and Joey Mercury at the moment, as Lesnar injured Jamie Noble last week, meaning there aren’t many obstacles for Lesnar to overcome to get to Rollins. Let’s get to it.

The opening recap shows the ending of last week’s show with Lesnar being laid out by the devastating forces of Kane, Mercury and Rollins. I’m so glad they had Lesnar get beaten up as he was getting way too close to feeling like something special and they needed to cut his legs out from underneath him. Well, maybe just the toes or so as Lesnar is going to be fine.

Here’s the Authority, complete with the secret weapon of Noble, to open things up. This is officially Monday Night Rollins, because Rollins has been watching some old Nitro matches. Perhaps on the WWE Network for $9.99? He talks about the power in this city, which you attain by doing things no one else could do. Rollins did something that Cena and even the Undertaker couldn’t do, as he conquered the conqueror last week. Suplex City was burned to the ground and Lesnar is now on his way to Japan.

That’s what he deserves after what Lesnar did to Noble last week. We even get a quick Jamie Noble chant because these fans are that intelligent. They’re quickly tossed aside though as Rollins demands that the fans show Noble the respect that he deserves. However, it’s time for presents! Rollins has Apple Watches for everyone, likely fulfilling a product placement agreement. Kane is getting a bonus though. He debuted back in 1997 (that really shouldn’t be brought up) and a lot of things have changed since then.

Bill Clinton was in charge, the internet was dial-up and Paul Heyman was fat and disgusting…..so not everything has changed. In all that time, Kane hasn’t asked for a thing, so Rollins is sending him to…….Hawaii, complete with a picture saying Hawaii, thereby making this a complete copy of the segment where Rocky Maivia took over the Nation, giving the members watches and Faarooq a picture of Rocky himself.

As a hula dancer and ukelele player come out to complete the mood, Kane is looking forward to deciding which animal to throw into a volcano, but Rollins thinks they should team up to destroy Ambrose and Reigns in a No DQ tag match tonight. Rollins still isn’t done though as he has a 2015 Cadillac for the Stooges to travel in. The guys celebrate as Rollins lists off the price and features. I was right about that product placement it seems. This goes on until Big Show comes out for his match.

The tag match later is presented by the new Terminator movie. I’m sure some people will get annoyed by this but it’s money for the company in like 30 seconds. It’s not the worst thing in the world.

Big Show vs. Mark Henry

Oh….yay. Miz is on commentary to cheer for Henry but Show pounds Mark into the corner with right hands (which are the size of typewriters according to JR), only to have Henry knock him down and hit a splash for two. Not that it matters as two big right hands knock Henry silly for the pin at 1:24.

Ryback (sans belt) hits the ring to take Show down with a shoulder to the leg. Miz runs in to kick Ryback in the jaw, so Ryback wants their match to happen right now.

Miz vs. Ryback

Non-title., but now Ryback has the belt. I know it doesn’t mean as much today but it disappears? Miz tries to stomp him down but gets his head slammed into the mat for his efforts. Ryback whips him across the ring with authority (not THE Authority of course. Like they’d be involved with the Intercontinental Title), followed by a totally ridiculous FORTY SECOND delayed vertical suplex.

Miz bails to the floor but comes back with a short DDT for two, setting up a nice face pull. A chinlock goes nowhere but the Reality Check gets two more. That’s it for Ryback as he comes back with a spinebuster but the threat of a Meat Hook sends Miz running for the countout (the rare three count countout before the referee just says screw it and ends the match) at 5:11.

Rating: D. I would say this is what you would expect, but what you would actually expect is for Miz to beat him off a rollup when Big Show distracted Ryback. The triple threat match really isn’t doing anything for me, but at least there’s an actual feud over the title instead of just a one off match for a change.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Alicia comes out to the Bellas’ music and has them at ringside. Paige takes her down into an armbar to start and drives a knee into the face for two. Some kicks in the corner don’t bother Paige much as she hits a Thesz press, only to have the Bellas offer a distraction so Alicia can take over again as we go to a break. Back with Fox standing on the hair before we hit the chinlock.

As the fans start falling asleep due to the rest hold, the Bellas are right there with the COME ON (insert name here) shouting. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two on Paige and it’s back to the chinlock. Two chinlocks in a match this show tells me that Fox has no idea where to go on offense. Paige comes back with her three clotheslines and a kick to the face for two. Nikki tries a distraction so Fox can roll her up, only to have Paige roll through (with nothing on Fox’s arms, meaning there’s no reason she didn’t kick out) for the pin at 9:43.

Rating: D. The idea was fine here but it’s very clear that Fox had no business controlling most of a match this long. Paige vs. Nikki could be good, but I don’t buy for a second that Paige is going to win as Nikki just MUST get the Divas Title record so we never think of AJ Lee again. I mean, that would just change so many things right?

Here’s John Cena for the US Title Open Challenge (with the promo during the entrance instead of in the ring)…..and here’s Kevin Owens! I’ll ignore Cole calling this a budding rivalry because Cole is that big of a schnook when he stops thinking.

US Title: Kevin Owens vs. John Cena

Owens drops to the floor after the Big Match Intros and says he’ll just wait for Battleground. He’ll take the US Title there, but maybe this man can do it instead.

US Title: Cesaro vs. John Cena

Owens joins commentary, which should be entertaining stuff. Thankfully they’re immediately talking about the Balor vs. Owens NXT Title match this coming Saturday. Cena starts with a headlock and monkey flip to send Cesaro into the corner, meaning it’s time for a standoff. This time it’s Cesaro putting on a headlock before planting Cena with a powerslam, followed by a crucifix of all things for two.

The AA is countered and Cesaro drops Cena with a right hand for another near fall. As usual, why make things more complicated than they need to be? Off to an abdominal stretch on the mat as Owens talks about having what it takes to be a real champion. A dropkick staggers Cesaro but he casually slugs Cena down and gets two off a crossface punch to the head.

Back from a break with Cesaro trying a Sharpshooter of all things but Cena kicks him away, only to take a big clothesline for two. Cesaro loads up the Swing but opts for a catapult instead, only to have Cena bounce back into something similar to a springboard Stunner (it barely connected) for two of his own. Cesaro flips out of the AA and hits a massive Swiss Death for two more.

There’s the STF but Cesaro rolls out, adjusts his legs and turns the hold over into the Sharpshooter. That was Hart vs. Perfect-esque. Cena makes a rope though and Cesaro’s frustration is setting in. Owens: “Cena is in trouble. Not as much trouble as he’ll be in at Battleground but close enough.”

The apron superplex puts Cena down again as Cole thinks this is going to be a match of the year candidate. It kind of loses its appeal if you keep saying it over and over again, which is why a lot of Cole’s commentary gets old. And yes, I’m aware it’s mainly him being fed lines. Cena gets two more off a tornado DDT and they slug it out until Cesaro tries a high cross body, only to have Cena roll through into…..actually not the AA as he spins Cesaro forward into a faceplant for another near fall.

Owens gets up and swings at Cole for praising Cena, who is dropkicked off the top rope and out to the floor. Back in and Cena tries a sunset flip but has to settle for a sunset bomb for yet another two. There’s a Neutralizer out of nowhere but Cena kicks out again. A spinebuster sets up the Swing (good idea to have a power move set it up. It’s weird when he just grabs the legs) which sets up the Sharpshooter but Owens comes in for the DQ at 20:20.

Rating: B+. Can Cena have a bad match at the moment? The guy is on one heck of a roll, which says a lot given how good he normally is. Cesaro using the Sharpshooter is fine but debuting it against Cena isn’t the best idea as Cena hasn’t tapped out in about thirteen years. Very good match here, but did you really expect anything else?

Kevin powerbombs both guys and says if anyone is taking the title off Cena, it’s going to be him. Owens comes off as such a jerk on commentary and I love it very much.

Tonight, Dolph Ziggler and Lana are going public. Oh man this is going to be bad isn’t it?

We get what I think is the same recap that opened the show. That’s quite the use of another three minutes.

Bray Wyatt pops up on screen with the ANYONE BUT YOU picture of Reigns. He wants Reigns to open his eyes to see the truth and close his mouth so no more lies can be spread. Wyatt wasn’t his father’s favorite because his father threw him away like a piece of trash. I wonder if IRS wrote that off his taxes. Wyatt has his wings back now though and Reigns knows everything Bray stands for. There will be no distractions at Battlegrounds because the insects that watch them every week are inconsequential. They’re the yin to each others yang and Bray will be Roman’s crown of suffering. Anyone but you Roman. Run.

Lucha Dragons/Prime Time Players vs. New Day/Bo Dallas

JBL: “We lucha on Monday nights!” We get a clip of Rock’s big surprise appearance at a house show over the weekend where he laid out Dallas, which is a GREAT advertisement for the house show circuit. It’s the same thing as when they would occasionally have a title change and then turn it right back soon after. No it’s not going to happen all the time, but make the people think it could and you can sell some more tickets.

Woods and Kalisto get things going with the masked one flipping off the top rope into a wristdrag as JBL says the Dragons remind him of the APA days. Off to Cara vs. Dallas with Sin cranking on the arm, only to have Darren come in for his standing Earthquake splash for two. Titus comes in to throw Dallas around with ease, which is a really simple yet effective power move. Kalisto doesn’t have the same luck as Bo knees him in the head to finally take over.

Back to Young for a chinlock as the match slows down. The belly to back suplex onto the apron plants Dallas again and the threat of a huge brawl sends us to a break. We come back with Woods holding Kalisto in a cobra clutch (that’s a move that has gotten a lot more popular recently) but it’s quickly off to Cara to flip around and kick Big E. in the head.

E. isn’t in enough trouble to get caught in the Gut Check though as he shoves Young to the floor to take over. We get the rotating stomps before it’s back to Bo for the chinlock. That goes nowhere and the hot tag brings in Titus and everything breaks down. The Dragons hit big stereo dives, allowing Titus to hit a sitout spinebuster for the pin on Kofi at 14:35.

Rating: D+ Longer match than they needed to have here and I’m not wild on New Day losing again before their big rematch. That’s why you bring in someone like Dallas: to take the fall and keep the New Day looking as strong as possible, but since WWE never actually thinks these things through, this is what we get. At least the champions didn’t lose though.

Here are Dolph and Lana for their big moment. Originally they weren’t on the best of terms because Lana was just trying to get back at Rusev. Then things changed, Ziggler is a real man, and Lana cares for him. Rusev finally hobbles out with Summer Rae by his side. He never cared about Lana because kissing her was like kissing the ring post.

Ziggler cuts him off and calls Lana his girlfriend and violence is teased, but Summer grabs the mic and calls Lana a gold digger. She was with Rusev when he won the US Title, but as soon as that was gone, so was Lana. That’s enough for Lana and the fight is on, with the fans seemingly very pleased when Lana’s skirt comes up. The match could be a disaster but the moment wasn’t bad.

Ambrose talks to some Terminators when Reigns comes in and assures Dean that he’s ready. Dean is the only family Reigns has around here and they’re ready to rage.

Neville vs. Sheamus

Before the match we get a cool video of Neville being turned into a comic book superhero. I actually said he wrestled like a superhero when I saw him at a house show a few months back so they really nailed the idea here. Sheamus takes him down to the mat with a headlock as the announcers debate Neville beating him in the King of the Ring. JBL: “Nobody remembers who came second to Usain Bolt.” Cole: “We did.” JBL: “Well you’re nobody.”

Neville kicks him to the floor and Sheamus grabs the briefcase for comfort as we take a break. Back with Sheamus hitting the Regal Roll and a release suplex for no cover. Instead Sheamus just smiles like a bully is supposed to do. The fans think this is boring, so Sheamus puts his hand to his ear and slaps on a chinlock. Now THAT is a great heel move. No sarcasm there if it’s not clear.

Neville kicks him in the face for a breather but Sheamus calmly hits three straight Irish Curses to regain control. Sheamus gets low bridged to the floor though, setting up a great looking Asai moonsault. Back in and Sheamus gets kicked in the head again but is still able to kick the ropes for a huge crash to break up the Red Arrow. The Brogue Kick ends Neville at 12:41.

Rating: C. This was fine and again I like that they’re pushing Sheamus instead of having him go on the stupid, stupid losing streak that has become the trend for Money in the Bank winners. I’m hoping Neville can bounce back from this as it felt like a downgrade for him, but there’s a very good chance that it’s a one off loss and nothing else. The superhero video was a very nice touch and gives me hope.

Jack Swagger vs. King Barrett

Before the match, Barrett demands that all of his opponents must bow down to him. Swagger will have none of that so Barrett bails to the floor to start. Back in and Swagger throws him down with ease and gets the Patriot Lock with Barrett already in the ropes. Well he’s a hoss you see so you can’t expect that much intelligence. Jack runs into a knee in the corner and the Bull Hammer ends this at 1:47.

Roman Reigns/Dean Ambrose vs. Kane/Seth Rollins

No DQ. The Stooges come out in the Cadillac. It’s a brawl to start as it should be with Rollins quickly being knocked out to the floor. Kane gets double teamed but Rollins gets back in to shove Ambrose off the top rope. Back from an early break with Rollins holding Reigns in a chinlock and the partners on the apron, because WWE doesn’t get what NO DISQUALIFICATION means. Reigns fights away from Kane and it’s a double tag to bring in Ambrose and Rollins.

Dean quickly cleans house and knocks Rollins to the floor. It’s weapons time with a table getting things started. As if the fans didn’t love Dean enough already. The Stooges pull it away so Reigns comes back with a bunch of kendo stick shots to Mercury, followed by three straight Superman Punches to various evildoers. Speaking of evil, cue Bray Wyatt to take out Reigns, including a Rock Bottom onto the announcers’ table. Dean can’t fight them off alone though and it’s a chokeslam and Pedigree for the pin at 11:45.

Rating: C. Again, this was totally fine and they covered all the bases they needed to cover here. Wyatt costing Reigns the match makes perfect sense and at least the pin on Ambrose took two people. It’s a pretty standard main event tag, but I’m glad they made it no DQ to avoid the same tired ending we always get.

Post match Reigns saves Dean from a TripleBomb through the table but Kane chokeslams him down too. Reigns fights back again but is finally thrown through the table in the corner. Another Pedigree puts Reigns down, leaving Wyatt to come back in (where was he for the last eight minutes?) and hit Sister Abigail to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. Well it took me three days and…..eh. I’m not at all surprised as it wasn’t the best looking show in the world but at least it had the awesome Cena vs. Cesaro match (I’m as shocked as you are) and a few other good things in there as well. The Ziggler/Lana segment started off looking bad but Lana getting physical was long overdue. The show wasn’t too bad and had more than enough moments to make it work. Good enough stuff here, but the car actually survived.  That’s quite the shock.

Results

Big Show b. Mark Henry – KO Punch

Ryback b. Miz via countout

Paige b. Alicia Fox – Rollup

Cesaro b. John Cena via DQ when Kevin Owens interfered

Prime Time Players/Lucha Dragons b. New Day/Bo Dallas – Sitout spinebuster to Kingston

Sheamus b. Neville – Brogue Kick

King Barrett b. Jack Swagger – Bull Hammer

Kane/Seth Rollins b. Dean Ambrose/Roman Reigns – Pedigree to Ambrose

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6




Raw Tonight

I won’t be here for it as I’ll be on a plane to England.  Use this thread to discuss what’s going on if you’d like.  I’ll have the show up in a few days.  Due to the time difference, the schedule is going to be a bit off for a few weeks.  I’ve done all the WCW and all the columns in advance though so they’ll be up on time.  I’ll have internet access as well so if anything major happens I’ll post it up.  There’s a new e-book coming in a few weeks too which I think you’ll like.

 

KB




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: June 22, 2015

Things are changing in WWE as we’ve come off the spring series of rapid fire pay per views and it’s now time to get going towards Summerslam. Lesnar is back and hunting for Rollins and the title, despite the fact that Rollins is now all alone. Let me emphasize that line, because the logic is about to go flying out the window. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with Lesnar and Heyman coming out for the big face turn interview, even though he’s been a face since the night after Wrestlemania. There wasn’t anything special here, but Brock is going to suplex Rollins a lot because Rollins is the chosen one and Brock is the Beast. He also apologized to Cole and JBL to wipe those things off the books. Yeah it’s stupid, but I’ll take that over just throwing something up on WWE.com.

Rollins’ distraction let Kane pin Dean Ambrose. Somehow their solution to Ambrose getting white hot again is to have him lose to Kane, even if there was some interference. This felt like some reason to keep Rollins vs. Ambrose going or maybe move up to the idea that Ambrose had no one helping him, but the main story is what I’ll get to at the end of this.

The Prime Time Players beat the Ascension. That’s all there really is to say here.

Sheamus beat Roman Reigns via DQ when Bray Wyatt distracted him with the idea of having a tea party with Reigns’ daughter. This was a nice power brawl but the big story here was that they kept Sheamus looking strong after his Money in the Bank win. That’s not something you often see, especially with them adding in the build to Reigns vs. Wyatt. Speaking of which, how nice is it that Wyatt has a point to all of his talking? Now if Reigns’ daughter doesn’t actually appear then it’s a big waste of time, but that could be said about so many of Wyatts’ stories.

Neville beat Kofi Kingston in another pretty nothing match. I’ve already written a column on the whole idea of having stars beat jobbers to the stars, and in short, I really hope it continues as it’s an idea that works very well.

King Barrett beat Zack Ryder in the same match that Prime Time Players and Ascension had. That’s kind of the theme tonight: short matches that really don’t change a lot.

Cena did his usual promo, but threw in some French and whatever Chinese dialect he spoke to talk about Owens being a foreign heel. Of course there’s going to be a title match at Battleground, but these two are really starting to run out of things to say to each other. Maybe, just maybe, they should have waited a little while between their matches, but that would go against the only logic and storytelling style WWE knows how to do these days.

We’re going to skip the Authority promos for now.

The Bellas beat Tamina and Naomi in a lame tag match. This felt like making the Bellas faces again, and if that’s the case, I give up on the Bellas. There’s a chance they could be interesting characters, but these constant heel/face turns are driving me insane. That being said, this might just have been a heel vs. heel match and that would make things acceptable. Not interesting mind you but acceptable.

Ryback beat Mark Henry in another theme match of the night. There’s not much to talk about here but Ryback beat up Big Show in the back post match. The key thing here though was they talks about Ryback’s parents speaking for the first time in fifteen years because he won the Intercontinental Title. Again, see the column for more details, but this was a great thing.

Dolph Ziggler beat Adam Rose and Lana is still nothing after being insanely over for a few weeks. She did however take her hair down (into a ponytail) and Summer Rae consoled Rusev because this story is still going for reasons I can’t fathom. I’m less angry about it now, but that’s because I’m resigned to how much of a waste the Rusev vs. Cena feud really was.

Now let’s get this over with. You might know that I don’t really care for the Authority because I find them to be horrible heels most of the time because it turns into a vanity project for them and Stephanie is untouchable and we must hear her take on everything from her charity of the week to the Ultimate Warrior to how John Cena is disrespecting Andre the Giant by wanting to be in his namesake battle royal because Andre the Giant was HER friend (and no, I still have no idea what the point of that was).

However, this story got on my nerves because the story makes no sense. So the Authority wanted to teach Rollins a lesson by taking away his help and making him fight on his own. They brought in Brock Lesnar and smirked at him, then suggested that he go and get the Authority back together……and then they let the team reform to fight off Lesnar, MAKING THIS ENTIRE STORY A WASTE OF TIME.

Their solution to Rollins being cocky is to take away his help. Their solution to him not having help is to give the help back. Someone explain how this makes sense to me. This whole thing continues the lack of logic behind the Authority story and serves no real reason other than to let HHH and Stephanie be the King and Queen that everyone must bow down to and ask for sage advice because how can anyone do anything on their own without those two helping? I don’t even want them gone (thought it would be nice) but at least let them be well written.

This show was fine outside of the main event stuff, which is just a badly written story with less of a plot hole and more of a few walls holding up the plot ceiling missing. The way they moved the midcard stories forward while not wasting a big match was a nice touch and overshadowed the Authority stuff, but I really need an explanation for why Kane and Mercury are helping Rollins again after the Authority made it clear that they weren’t going to be helping him.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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Monday Night Raw – June 22, 2015: That’s An Interesting Idea

Monday Night Raw
Date: June 22, 2015
Location: Bankers Life Fieldhouse, Indianapolis, Indiana
Commentators: Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole

Things have started changing again in WWE with Brock Lesnar returning last week to go establish himself as the new challenger for Seth Rollins and the World Title. Other than that we still have Sheamus waiting in the rings for the title shot, which could be the case for a long time to come. Let’s get to it.

Opening sequence.

We open with the Beast himself and Heyman gives us a recap of what got Lesnar suspended back in the spring. This includes Rollins running from a title rematch and of course shows us Stephanie ripping off Brock’s balls because Heaven forbid we forget that. In order for Lesnar to officially return, he has to apologize to Cole and JBL. Lesnar of course doesn’t seem interested in doing so but eventually shakes JBL’s hand and rubs Cole head before shoving him into his chair.

Heyman would also like to issue an apology in advance to the chosen boy Seth Rollins. Seth was the first NXT Champion (“Gee I wonder how that happened.”) and has since been heavily protected. Now we have what’s beast for business (yes beast) because Rollins has a first class ticket to Suplex City. Brock is the once and future champion and he’s taking his title back at Battleground. This felt like the face turn promo, but it wasn’t really a turn as he left as a face.

Dean Ambrose vs. Kane

As this feud continues. Kane grabs a suplex to start and punches Ambrose in the face, followed by stomping him around the ring. Kane certainly doesn’t subscribe to the concept of mixing it up. A cross body puts Kane down and Dean follows him to the floor, only to be throw right back in. Kane sidesteps a dive and throws him into the steps as we take a break.

Back with Kane putting on a chinlock followed by a running DDT for two. Ambrose finally grabs a neckbreaker but has to stop for a nap after Kane has put everyone to sleep. Kane charges into the buckle and gets low bridged to the floor. That goes nowhere so Dean hits the rebound clothesline for two but here’s Rollins for the distraction, allowing Kane to load up the chokeslam, only to have Dean escape and hit a suicide dive. Dean goes up top and gets chokeslammed back down for the pin at 11:21.

Rating: D. So Rollins is trying to get recruits onto his side before he has to fight Lesnar and we have to sit through a boring ten minute Kane match to get the point across. Kane is just so slow and repetitive that it’s hard to stay focused during the match, let alone be entertained. Also, you couldn’t have this be a countout instead of Ambrose being pinned again?

Stills of Cena vs. Owens II.

Post break Kane sees through Seth’s plan and turns it down.

Recap of Wyatt vs. Reigns.

Prime Time Players vs. Ascension

Non-title. Titus throws Konnor around to start but everything breaks down. Viktor is tossed outside as New Day is shown watching in the back. The double teaming begins in the corner as Titus is in trouble. Konnor puts on a lame chinlock and gets suplexed down for his sloppiness. Darren gets the tag and cleans house with a northern lights suplex getting two. Titus and Konnor head outside, allowing Young to hit the Gutcheck for the pin on Viktor at 4:10.

Rating: D+. This still wasn’t anything worth seeing but it’s cool to see the champions getting a win instead of just losing every few weeks and then acting like we should still be impressed because they have the belts. The match was just there, but it’s nice to see the old formula instead of the same stuff they do all the time. Also, points to Young for really starting to become a more entertaining guy in the ring. He’s still not all that interesting but at least he’s a few steps ahead of where he used to be.

Sheamus vs. Roman Reigns

Sheamus pinned Reigns on Smackdown after Wyatt interfered. They drive each other up against the ropes to start because they’re both hosses. A slam sends Sheamus outside and Reigns slugs away back inside, only to get caught with four forearms to the chest. Sheamus throws Reigns down again and we take a break. Hopefully the break gives them some rest as this show’s action has felt like it’s in slow motion so far. Back with Reigns fighting out of a chinlock and hitting a running clothesline to wake the fans up a bit.

The apron boot is countered with a clothesline in a unique spot from Sheamus. He throws Reigns back first into the barricade and now Sheamus has a target. After a quick chinlock, three straight Irish Curses are good for a near fall. The Cloverleaf goes on but Reigns is quickly in the ropes. A belly to back stuns Sheamus and Reigns throws him to the floor for a whip into the table. Reigns gets back in but Wyatt pops up on screen in the middle of a tea party. He talks to someone off camera and tells Reigns to come find him. Roman bails on the match and that’s a countout at 16:40.

Rating: C+. This got going more with the back stuff at the end to give the match a story. I like that they’re giving Sheamus some wins, which really aren’t a stretch. Yeah he’s not what he used to be, but he’s still a former multiple time World Champion and a good brawler who can step up without a big stretch. Reigns is handling himself well in these longer matches too.

The camera pans back to show that Wyatt is talking to an empty rocking chair, meaning someone might have just gotten out of it.

Post break Reigns is looking for the party and finds the room, with a high group of pictures of Reigns on the wall with the eyes cut out and ANYONE BUT YOU painted on the wall. Bray can be head singing I’m A Little Teapot.

Rollins can’t get the Stooges on his side. They remember those Dumb and Dumber comments of his.

Kofi Kingston vs. Neville

Kingston jumps over Neville a few times to start but gets pulled into a headlock to slow things down. A shot to Neville’s ribs sets up a top rope ax handle as Xavier steals a camera for some pictures. Kofi is sent to the floor and knocked off the apron, drawing New Day over to go after Neville. This brings out the Prime Time Players to even things up but all four are ejected, allowing Neville to kick him in the head and hit the Red Arrow for the pin at 4:30.

Rating: C. Neville is now getting his own showcase matches as this was just about giving Neville a TV win instead of much anything else. He’s a full on midcard guy now and it’s amazing to see how smoothly his transition has gone. Kofi will be fine because he’s Kofi Kingston and is incapable of falling from his spot on the card.

King Barrett vs. Zack Ryder

Cole says that R-Truth has been thinking he’s King since beating Barrett last week. It would actually be the night before but be glad he got it that close. Ryder starts with a flapjack and corner clothesline before quickly fighting out of a chinlock. Barrett runs away from a Broski Boot but gets taken down by a baseball slide. Back inside and Ryder gets crotched on the top, setting up the Bull Hammer for the pin at 3:21.

Rating: D+. So we officially know that Ryder is beneath Barrett on the totem pole. I know it should seem obvious, but when you’re losing back to back matches to R-Truth, how clear is it? I’m all for seeing Ryder on TV more often as he’s still a fun character who can fire up the crowd, even though he loses every time he’s out there.

Owens says he was born to be in a WWE ring and wants to hurt Cena.

Here’s Cena for the first time after his attack by Owens at Money in the Bank. He holds up the title and calls it a symbol of excellence of which he is very proud. Cena recaps their feud and talks about Owens attacking him at Money in the Bank and then laying out a defenseless musician last week. Now Owens wants a US Title shot at Battleground and Cena has a choice. He could run like Owens did, or he can fight like a champion will. The answer seems to be a yes but here’s Owens to interrupt.

Kevin has been called a lot of things over the years, ranging from overweight to out of shape, but he’s someone who gets what he wants. He wanted to beat John Cena and he did, and he wanted the NXT Title and he got it. Now Owens wants the US Title and he’s going to get it, assuming Cena agrees to the title match. Owens calls himself an evil foreigner and speaks French, but Cena says the people are indifferent to Owens (no they’re not) and speaks French and Chinese. The match is on and the champ is here.

Rollins goes to the Authority to try to get some backup but HHH tells him to find it himself. Stephanie suggests getting the band back together, but HHH thinks it might cost him the title. Seth is perplexed.

Bella Twins vs. Naomi/Tamina

The Bellas have Alicia Fox in their corner. Brie takes Naomi into the corner to start so it’s quickly off to Tamina to work over Brie early on. Naomi knocks Nikki off the corner to break up a tag attempt but Brie gets over for the hot tag, meaning the Bellas are clearly wrestling as the faces here, because WWE has no idea how to book the Bellas these days. Brie hits a middle rope dropkick to Tamina, only to walk into the Rear View. The second Rear View hits Tamina by mistake, setting up the Rack Attack for the pin on Naomi at 3:44.

Terminator Genisys clip with Roman Reigns spliced in.

Ryback vs. Mark Henry

Non-title and Big Show is on commentary. Ryback throws him down to start and takes it outside right in front of Show. Henry tosses Ryback into the barricade, much to Show’s approval. Back from a break with Ryback shrugging off a chinlock and hitting the Meat Hook, followed by a top rope splash for the pin at 6:24. Not enough shown to rate but this was another match designed to set up the big match down the line. The splash looked good too.

Show glares at Henry post match.

Tough Enough preview.

Ryback is ready for anyone in the triple threat match but the title means everything to him. His parents hadn’t spoken in 15 years but his title win brought them together, even for one night. It doesn’t matter if the entire world comes after his title, because he’ll just say feed me more. Big Show comes in and mocks Ryback’s speech but Ryback is ready to fight. Ryback actually leaves him laying, shouting that Show isn’t so big now. That was a good speech by Ryback and the details he adds are a good way to make the fans connect with him.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Adam Rose

Lana is such an afterthought since she joined Ziggler. Before the match, Rose rips on the crowd and says we don’t get real art, or true love like he and Rosa have. Adam takes his time kissing Rosa and gets dropkicked in the face as Rusev is watching in the back. The referee tells Ziggler to get off Rose in the corner, allowing Adam to take him down and drop some elbows. A sleeper goes nowhere and Ziggler drops his own elbow for two. Rose goes up top and dives into a superkick for the pin at 3:05.

Rating: D. Well the match was nothing so I want to talk about Lana some more. Remember like two months ago when she was getting some of the loudest pops of the show? Well now she’s just there and does nothing during the match because we’re destined to get the same thing from Ziggler until the end of time. Rose is good in a role like this though.

Ziggler takes Lana’s hair out of the bun and kisses her, freaking Rusev out again. He throws his crutches and falls down because of the bad ankle. Summer Rae of all people comes up and hands him a crutch.

The Authority has a meeting in the back with Noble saying he and Mercury are wise like Yoda. HHH says the Stooges know Rollins better than anyone and Stephanie wants the two of them and Kane to hear Rollins out.

Here’s Seth to try to get his backup back. He calls out Kane and the Stooges, but insists that this has nothing to do with Brock Lesnar. This is about the three of them and family. Rollins apologizes to all three of them and asks him to be part of his family again. Kane gets a special apology because he isn’t a dinosaur (Seth: “They’re extinct and you’re alive and well.”) and is Seth’s favorite WWE Superstar of all time.

They don’t seem to accept so Seth gets close to begging until Lesnar interrupts. Kane loads up the elbow pad and Lesnar jumps to the apron, but the three of them leave Seth all alone. Kane and the Stooges try to go after Lesnar but they’re easily fought off because they’re Kane and the Stooges (I knew they should have gone with Iggy), leaving Brock to bust out the Germans to a huge face reaction.

Kane breaks up the F5 with a chokeslam but it’s time for the Big Bald to take a German of his own. This time it’s a Kane chop block breaking up another F5 to Rollins, who adds a chop block of his own. They bend the knee around the post and crack it with a chair to finally have Brock in some trouble. Brock tries to fight back but Mercury comes in to leg dive him, allowing Kane to put him back down. The springboard knee to the head sets up another chokeslam, followed by a Pedigree to leave Lesnar laying as the show ends.

Overall Rating: C. I really liked the way this show was laid out for the most part. A lot of the matches were bigger names getting wins over lower level acts, which doesn’t hurt anyone involved and lets you advance stories a few more steps without blowing something big or making anyone look weak. Ascension, Ryder and Rose losing does nothing to hurt them but the people that beat them get to look successful. That’s smart, logical booking.

The rest of the show was……well it was there. It wasn’t bad or anything but this felt like a very long three hours. There are a lot of issues in WWE and to be fair to them, you can tell when they’re trying and just run out of ideas/get bogged down by the time. That’s what happened here as they really didn’t have three hours of meaningful television in them and the show would have been much better at two hours. There was enough good to carry this show though and that’s a big improvement over some of the stuff we’ve been getting in recent weeks.

Results

Kane b. Dean Ambrose – Chokeslam from the top rope

Prime Time Players b. Ascension – Gutcheck to Viktor

Sheamus b. Roman Reigns via countout

Neville b. Kofi Kingston – Red Arrow

King Barrett b. Zack Ryder – Bull Hammer

Bella Twins b. Naomi/Tamina – Rack Attack to Naomi

Ryback b. Mark Henry – Top rope splash

Dolph Ziggler b. Adam Rose – Superkick

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: June 15, 2015

After all the pay per views in the span of a few weeks, this show marks the beginning of a recently unthinkable FIVE WEEK build to Battleground. The big stories are Sheamus now holding the Money in the Bank briefcase and fellow heel Seth Rollins retaining the World Title last night in a long ladder match against Dean Ambrose. This means that Rollins won a major match on his own. I wonder if we’ll hear about that tonight. Let’s get to it.

Before we get started, there was one last tribute to Dusty Rhodes. Yeah it’s the same one, but Dusty deserves as many as WWE wants to give him.

The main story throughout the night was the Authority picking the next challenger to Seth’s title. This means that people were trying to impress them all night, because the Authority are the king and queen of WWE and the wrestlers are all just their playthings, sent out there to dance and perform at the Authority’s will. Throughout the night there were people having regular matches which for some reason meant more, even though it’s almost never someone you see earlier in the night because WWE has gotten very, very stale in its format. We’ll get to the next challenger at the end.

Rollins came out for his big victory speech and bragged about being that much better than Ambrose. They’re doing a great job of keeping Ambrose from beating Rollins and when he finally does, which he will one day, it’s going to be a big moment. As Rollins took all the credit (literally thanking himself over and over in a great heel touch), Ambrose came out and cleaned house, saying he wasn’t leaving the ring until he got another fight against Rollins. This went on for awhile until Sheamus came out for a fight, eventually losing to a rollup. Why would you ever want to win something in WWE? It almost guarantees a losing streak.

Case in point: R-Truth beat King Barrett for the second time in two days, this time in about twenty seconds. Barrett beat him down post match and talked about how serious this was to him. I’m picturing Barrett running around talking about how TOTALLY IMPORTANT it is that he’s a king while everyone else laughs at him, because that’s how interesting wrestlers are treated around here.

Kevin Owens bragged, Dolph Ziggler challenged him to a non-title match, Owens beat Ziggler in the same match Ziggler has had for the last year. In case you can’t tell, I really, really do not care about Dolph Ziggler. Word on the street is that he was about to leave the company and I can’t say I’m complaining.

Paige tried to get the Divas to help her fight the Bellas but this somehow tied into the Authority and the rest of the division not wanting to get on their bad side. This is pretty clearly setting up some NXT callups and I’m terrified of what might happen to them. The Bellas beat Paige in a handicap match later in the show.

Sheamus helped Kane beat Orton in a nothing match. This was supposed to make me think Kane is a viable contender to Rollins. That’s hilarious, if not a bit stupid.

With an unintentional assist from Ryback, Miz beat Big Show via countout. This was fine as a quick help to the three way feud.

Roman Reigns wanted to fight Bray Wyatt, but Bray did his usual freaky promo before holding up a picture of Reigns playing with his daughter. See, that’s at least that’s a specific thing for Wyatt, who usually only speaks in riddles. It’s a baby step, but at least a step.

Machine Gun Kelly, a rapper I’ve only heard of through WWE, rapped for the better part of eternity and was then beaten up by Kevin Owens. That alone made the way too long performance worth it as Owens is one of the coolest heels in a very, very long time.

Neville/Prime Time Players beat the New Day in a fun six man. It’s good to see Neville added into a feud so he has something to do instead of just floating from match to match.

The big reveal was, of course, Brock Lesnar, which opens up a ton of storyline plotholes but his Suplex City/Exit F5 shirt more than made up for it. A few of these plot holes:

1. Cole’s lawsuit, which isn’t so much a plot hole as they addressed it on WWE.com, but they really need to mention it on Raw. It just needs to be a quick line of “we settled it out of court” but it needs to be said on TV.

2. After Stephanie freaked out of Lesnar and sent him away because she hadn’t captured a good set of balls in a long time, they’re just bringing him back to beat up their guy? Is this supposed to be a test? Or are they dumping Rollins to go with Lesnar, who was all insane and violent and nowhere near as controllable as Rollins?

3. What if Rollins wins? Is he supposed to just say “yeah it’s cool Authority. I don’t mind you throwing the biggest, baddest monster ever. What are we doing for dinner tonight?”

Overall this show was about setting up Battleground, which again has the potential to be one of the more entertaining shows in a long time. Granted a lot of that is due to Brock, but that’s why you bring him in. I wasn’t wild on the story of wondering who the opponent was going to be because Lesnar really wasn’t all that shocking. Still though, good enough show which wasn’t the same old repetitive stuff we’ve seen time after time. There are some plot holes that have to be addressed however, but you can do that in just a few quick promos.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of Complete Monday Nitro Reviews Volume III at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XOUNBEA

And check out my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:


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