Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: February 9, 2015
We have a new direction for Fast Lane now as for some reason there was a controversy regarding the Rock, which comes off more like “we’re scared because the smarkiest city in the world didn’t like what we were doing so here’s Fast Lane to give Bryan a shot.” Other than that there isn’t a ton of stuff to talk about because Fast Lane doesn’t need to exist. Let’s get to it.
We opened with the required Reigns/Bryan chat which didn’t get us anywhere, so the Authority came out and made Reigns/Bryan vs. Big Show/Kane. The monsters wound up getting disqualified in a match longer than it needed to be which should have ended with Kane tapping out but that would be a waste of his incredible heat so they kept the giants looking strong instead. Bryan and Reigns had issues post match so HHH made a rematch with Rollins/Noble/Mercury being added to the giants’ team.
Somehow, this whole thing took about half an hour and it showed the one major problem with the main event scene at the moment: IT’S REALLY BORING. We’re seeing these giant fight Bryan and Reigns in every possible combination and there’s no reason to see them fight all over again. Bryan vs. Reigns is being shoehorned in when Bryan was eliminated from the Rumble 100% clean.
They screwed up at the Rumble by having Bryan dumped out so early and now their solution doesn’t add up either. The match should be good, but that’s getting into TNA logic: if we have a good ending, the journey there doesn’t matter. At this point, they’re not just getting the fans to calm down but rather getting the fans to stop caring about anyone. Yeah they pop for Bryan, but this story is killing the momentum they had going. It got even worse on Smackdown when Big Show knocked out Kane, likely setting up a feud between the two. Because they’re big and old you see.
Ryback beat Rollins via DQ when the Stooges interfered. Somehow, this was STILL Survivor Series fallout because that’s still a thing.
Sheamus is coming back. A lot of people seem to be complaining about that, but imagine him in Kane’s current role. Does that make things sound a bit easier to sit through?
Paige beat Brie Bella because WWE still thinks the Bellas are interesting. That’s their major flaw: their characters are so basic as the stuck up heels that they can’t carry the division on their own. It also doesn’t help that we’re watching Sasha Banks, Charlotte and Bayley having great matches in addition to having just as defined, if not more defined, characters down in NXT.
One of the big segments of the show was Lana and Rusev mocking Cena for being old and past his prime. There’s a story to be told about Cena needing to face the impending end of his career, but calling someone that can throw both Stooges on his shoulders at the same time and go toe to toe with Brock Lesnar over the hill is a huge stretch, especially when they still look like Cena. Just do the Hogan vs. Nikita Koloff formula (it would be an insult to Rusev to compare him to Nikolai Volkoff) and let the fans chant USA for the whole feud. As usual, why mess with something that’s almost guaranteed to work?
Bray Wyatt beat Dolph Ziggler in a loss probably designed to make Ziggler eventually snap and turn heel. In theory the idea is that he’s worked so hard and isn’t getting anywhere because of it, which of course causes another problem: all the momentum he got from the Survivor Series win and subsequent success are thrown away for ANOTHER losing streak angle. We get at least three or four of these a year and they almost always lead to a turn. There a dozen other ways to turn someone heel, but for some reason this is the company’s favorite.
On the other hand you have Bray, who is clearly being set up for a Wrestlemania showdown with Undertaker, assuming he’s capable of going of course. My guess would be Wyatt wins, because there is zero reason for Undertaker to win. What is Cole going to say? “THAT’S THE START OF A NEW STREAK!”?
Wyatt being the bigger freak and overwhelming Undertaker because he’s lost his identity and can’t keep up with the younger generation, ultimately leading to his retirement, is an interesting story that would give Wyatt a huge rub, but unfortunately I think we’re heading for an Undertaker win to make us feel better about last year’s loss because WWE is afraid of hurting our feelings in exchange for thinking for the future.
Heyman and Lesnar came out to cut a basic promo on how neither Reigns nor Bryan has any chance to win the title at Wrestlemania and is just fighting for second place. There was absolutely no reason for Lesnar to be out there for this segment and it was a total waste of an appearance. I like seeing the title out there for a change, but Brock didn’t need to be there for this one.
Goldust and Stardust did their usual schtick and the New Day got a pin. Get to the feud already.
Reigns and Bryan had a cliched backstage bit where they said they’ll work together and then fight at Fast Lane. This is a very by the numbers feud and that’s not helping things.
HHH said he wanted to confront Sting at Fast Lane. The lights flickered, a fake Sting popped up in the ring, and the words I ACCEPT showed up on screen. Somehow this took nearly five minutes.
Then we got to the stupid moment of the show, as the Usos lost to Kidd and Cesaro. Not only is this stupid because it’s the exact same idea we see far too often, but it was also preceded by Cole saying he had heard a rumor that a win over the Usos could give Cesaro and Kidd a future title shot. This is the team that I believe has won two matches leading up to this past Monday, and now they’re the #1 contenders? Off a rumor? This was your standard overbooked and overthought WWE mess that only they care about and no one really benefits from.
Rikishi is going to the Hall of Fame. For some reason people are complaining about this, despite him being a pretty successful midcard guy who was WAY over in 2000 with Too Cool. I have no problems with his induction.
Sin Cara beat Damien Mizdow, because WWE doesn’t understand that the right move is to have Mizdow keep one upping Miz until he beats him in the showdown. Instead it’s turned into a battle of who sucks less, making everyone look weaker than they should.
Bray Wyatt did his usual cryptic promo, which is about the Undertaker.
Dean Ambrose squashed Curtis Axel but was told he gets no Intercontinental Title shot. This was fine, but hearing Axel being called a third generation sports entertainer made me cringe. Does WWE really believe that anyone outside the company boundaries calls it sports entertainment? A little over a year ago in NXT, Bo Dallas was trying to sound stupid and said he had been sports entertaining around the world. Is that what we’re supposed to call it? A sports entertainment contest instead of a match? That’s what we’re going with? Again, stop overthinking things.
The main event saw Reigns and Bryan get beaten up until Ryback, Ziggler and Rowan interfered and took out Big Show, Kane and Rollins, allowing Reigns to spear Mercury for the win. Just like in Miz/Mizdow, why are we having the guys we’re supposed to cheer for look helpless and leave us with two guys who look lame to cheer for? Oh that would be because we have to keep Big Show and Kane looking strong for reasons.
That idea of “for reasons” is something that needs to be addressed. Look at what’s going on in WWE right now. Why did the Authority make Reigns and Bryan vs. five guys? I know they’re heels, but what is the motivation for going after Reigns and Bryan? There’s a history with Bryan so that checks out, but they don’t have a clear reason to feud with Reigns. If it’s still over Reigns as part of the Shield then fine, but TELL US THAT.
At the moment it’s coming off as people doing things because, in the words of Mark Henry, that’s what they do. The opening tag was clearly just made because it’s what they wanted to do that night and they didn’t feel the need to have a logical reason to do so. The same was true of the main event. There’s no storyline reason for these matches to be happening and there doesn’t seem to be anything for the Authority to gain from it, so why do they keep doing it?
The stories are going in circles and there doesn’t seem to be an end game other than “title match at Wrestlemania”, after which I would assume it’s more of the same: winner vs. Authority’s monster of the month. It’s like they don’t know where they want to go with things and just expect Wrestlemania to bail them out. I hate to say this but TNA is currently far more logical and well written than this mess. Yeah the stories can still be messy and unnecessary at times, but there’s a clear path there for them and they know how to get to their goal. I’m not convinced WWE has a goal at this point.
Oh and Reigns speared Bryan after the match and got booed. Nothing wrong with that, but they’re running the risk of making Lesnar a huge face at Wrestlemania and they better have something ready to combat that or it’s the ending of Wrestlemania X7 in reverse. That’s not how you want the next face of WWE (again because reasons instead of common sense) coming off on his big stage.
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Monday Night Raw – March 31, 1997: Breaking Ground On A New Foundation
Monday Night Raw Date: March 31, 1997
Location: Civic Center, Peoria, Illinois
Attendance: 4,282
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon
We’re knocking on the door of the story of the year and that’s the best thing that can happen to the WWF. Bret has turned his back on the American fans and doesn’t care what they think anymore due to what he perceives as a lack of respect. Steve Austin is back tonight and you know his response is going to be interesting. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Bret’s awesome speech last week where he ran down all things American and destroyed Shawn’s knee again.
The announcers preview the show.
European Title: Owen Hart vs. British Bulldog
Bulldog is defending after having beaten Owen to become the first champion back in February. They’re also Tag Team Champions but jealousy is tearing them apart. That’s an interesting point as Owen was paranoid about being in Bret’s shadow back in 1994 and is the same about Bulldog here. It’s so nice to see character continuity like that as opposed to today where motivation and characteristics change weekly.
Owen dropkicks him through the ropes during Bulldog’s entrance and the fight starts early. They get inside for the bell with Owen getting a very fast two off a spinning cross body. Bulldog’s comeback is quickly stopped by a low blow and we hit the chinlock. Owen is being far more aggressive than usual here as he rips at Bulldog’s face. A quick backslide gets two for Davey but he eats a dropkick to put him back down. Owen hits a piledriver and we take a break before the cover.
Back with Hart driving shoulders into the ribs before we hit another chinlock. The Bulldog blocks a dropkick but gets caught by an enziguri to put him right back down. Total dominance by Owen so far. He loads up a superplex, gets knocked back but moonsaults to land on his feet and knocks Bulldog off the top for a cool sequence.
They head outside with Bulldog dropping him onto the barricade to finally gain control. A catapult gets two for the champ and they head outside with Bulldog suplexing him onto the ramp. Back in and a big gorilla press gets two as Bulldog’s power is rolling. There goes the referee and Owen goes for a chair. Bulldog kicks it out of his hand and goes for it himself but Bret comes in and takes Bulldog down as the match is a no contest.
Rating: B. This was the polar opposite of their clinic in Berlin, which is a sign that they’re both incredibly talented. The ending is far more about setting up stuff for the future and we were lucky enough to get in a good match at the same time. It was interesting to see Owen completely dominate about 75% of the match though as Bulldog was getting squashed until they went outside. Again, that makes sense as Owen is a more polished wrestler and Bulldog got into a brawling style on occasion.
Bret shouts at both guys and holds them apart, saying this can’t happen. He gets on the mic and says this is what the people want. It should be about family values and Bret ignores the USA chants. These people have turned this family into a bunch of haters. Remember the match at Wembley Stadium? Or all those times when Bret took care of Owen as a kid? They were the only two brothers who excelled in wrestling and the Americans have turned them against each other. Bret needs both of them and Owen is in tears. The three hug and we’ve got the angle of the summer. Lawler is in tears over these events.
El Mosco vs. Super Nova
Sunny is on commentary as this dead trend continues. Mosco hits a quick enziguri as Sunny is far better at reading house show ads than JR. A belly to belly gets two for Nova but Mosco nails a spinwheel kick for no cover. Sunny calls JR short and fat as Nova hits a sunset bomb out of the corner for two more. He follows it up with a running flip dive through the ropes to crash onto Nova while Sunny is sitting on the commentators’ laps. Back in and Mosco hits a sloppy slingshot moonsault for the pin.
Rating: D. Sunny was clearly the star here and I have no idea why they were wasting her talents on this mess. It was either this or the minis and that’s really not something she should be lowering herself to do. Nothing to see here though as this was a very far cry from even the lowest levels of WCW cruiserweights.
Here’s the Legion of Doom for a chat. First of all though, Animal has to yell at the Harts for running down the American fans. He talks about only remembering the winners, which is what they’re going to be in just a few weeks. Hawk doesn’t have much to add and that’s about it.
Jesse Jammes vs. Jerry Fox
Honky Tonk Man is here to scout again. Jammes (yes that’s how it’s spelled) comes out with a kid who is here for reasons not quite clear. Fox (who looks like a fat Stevie Richards) is run over to start and atomic dropped out to the floor. A pumphandle slam is good for the pin for Jammes in a total squash.
Honky offers Jammes the protege spot but Jesse breaks the guitar instead. For some reason this took nearly five minutes. This wasn’t the most interesting story in the world.
Savio Vega/Crush vs. Rod Bell/Adam O’Brien
O’Brien is better known as Adam Pearce and he would be about 19 here. Crush stomps on Bell to start as Savio knocks Adam to the floor. Bell fights back with right hands as we get a Shawn Michaels phone interview. The comeback goes about as well as you would expect and Shawn talks about being more banged up than he was coming into last week. He doesn’t want to talk about the injury though and hangs up, promising to confront Bret next week. Crush tilt-a-whirl backbreakers Bell, setting up a Demolition Decapitator for the pin.
Rating: D. Total squash here that was more about the phone call than anything else. I really don’t know what else you want to hear about this match so…..how about that phone call? Yeah how about it, because there really isn’t much else to talk about it either. They really need to work on their midcard.
Video on Ken Shamrock, complete with UFC footage.
Hour #2 begins.
Here’s Paul Bearer, complete with a casket, to say he wants Undertaker back. After a bit of begging, the lights go out and here’s the champ. He doesn’t immediately get in the ring but rather goes around to lock the casket just in case. Undertaker says he can forgive Bearer and does in fact owe Bearer something. He kisses the title and hands it to Bearer before punching him in the jaw. They head to the ramp but Mankind comes out from under the ring with a fireball to burn Undertaker. Mankind and Bearer hug but Sid runs out to chase them off. Undertaker is so blind that he wanders into the crowd and stumbles away.
After a break, Sid challenges Mankind for some point in the future.
HHH vs. Goldust
Chyna isn’t allowed at ringside. Goldust is all over him to start and tosses HHH hard into the corner. Another hard whip sends him over the top and out to the floor before a head knocker has HHH reeling even more. Goldust misses a cross body and falls to the floor and HHH follows him out with a baseball slide. Back in and Lawler talks about how awesome Canada is. Ross suggests Lawler move to Canada, so Jerry tells him to join a cult. That’s quite the exchange.
Anyway, HHH stays on Goldust with a snap suplex and knee drop for two. We hit the chinlock for a good while before a DDT plants Goldust for another near fall. Back to the floor with HHH hitting a middle rope ax handle as Chyna shots up on stage. We take a break and come back with Goldust hammering away, drawing Chyna closer to ringside. Screw stipulations I guess. The Curtain Call connects but Chyna comes in for the DQ.
Rating: D+. I never liked this feud and I don’t know why it went on so long. Their pay per view matches bored me and the TV stuff hasn’t been much better. They’re just not interesting and the chemistry is only decent. It doesn’t help that the story is far more about Chyna getting over than anything else, which makes the matches more of a way of killing time than anything else.
Chyna knocks Goldust down and referees come in to break it up. Pat Patterson gets in a big fight with HHH due to Chyna attacking him recently as Goldust wants to fight Chyna.
We look at the Hart Family reunion, with a side of Smith of course, from earlier tonight.
Here’s Steve Austin with something to say. He makes it clear that he never quit at Wrestlemania and it was a steel barricade that busted him open. The Sharpshooter was on, but it was Austin’s own blood that made him pass out. Bret is the biggest piece of trash he’s ever seen and Austin isn’t changing for anyone. It doesn’t matter if he’s against a good guy or a bad guy because he’s the King of the Ring and is out here to beat up whoever he’s in there against. Bret pops up on screen and says Austin knows what happened at Wrestlemania, and it’s going to be even worse the next time they’re in the ring.
Bret vs. Sid is announced for In Your House.
Intercontinental Title: Bret Hart vs. Rocky Maivia
My goodness what a different time this was. The difference here is that Bret taking the title wouldn’t have been a shock. Yeah Bret is the heavy favorite here, but in today’s product, there would be no chance of him winning the title because it’s beneath him. Back in this era, any title was worth winning no matter who you were. That’s something I really would love to see come back.
Rocky takes him into the corner to start but Bret bails to the floor before any punches are thrown. Back in and we see Tony Atlas sitting in the front row. Bret easily takes Rocky down but the champ scores with a cross body for two. Maivia cranks on a hammerlock and drives some elbows into the arm as they’re still in second gear. Back up and Bret just stomps Rocky down to take over before choking in the corner. Hart is even nailing the heel actions in the ring to the letter.
We take a break and come back with Bret still in control but getting small packaged for two. Bret misses the middle rope elbow and Rocky starts his comeback with a fisherman’s suplex getting a near fall. The high cross body connects but Bret rolls through for a sloppy two count. Bret has had enough of this rookie and puts him in the Figure Four around the post for the DQ.
Rating: C. This was fine but it was much more a historical note than anything else. Obviously Rock was nothing compared to what he would become later on and the match doesn’t really mean anything as a result. As I mentioned, notice how Bret was such a different character both in the ring and on the microphone around this time. He wasn’t putting in a ton of effort (intentionally) and seemed more bored fighting someone like Maivia than anything else. That’s a very good sign and makes things far more interesting.
Austin comes out for the save but Owen and Bulldog come in to beat him down. The Legion of Doom makes the save to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This was an easier show to sit through as they kept the midcard matches moving instead of letting them drag down the awesome main event stuff. The Hart Foundation is coming and the war they’ll wage is already looking like the most interesting story since…..oh I’d say Flair vs. Savage back in 1992. Better show here but they still need to tighten up a few things.
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Monday Night Raw – February 9, 2015: Everyone Loves A Loser
Monday Night Raw Date: February 9, 2015
Location: Schottenstein Center, Columbus, Ohio
Commentators: Booker T., Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We have a much better idea of what to expect at Fast Lane after last week and the Daniel Bryan fans have a lot more hope going forward. There are two weeks left before Fast Lane, meaning it’s all about the build to the show. It’s going to be interesting to see how Reigns handles his adversity last week going forward. Let’s get to it.
We recap last week’s events with the Authority making Bryan vs. Rollins for the shot at Reigns at Fast Lane.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Roman Reigns and we look at his events from last week. Roman says he stood in this ring last week as the #1 contender for the World Title at Wrestlemania, meaning the title was as good as his. Then the Authority showed up last week and made it clear that they don’t want Reigns in that spot. That’s fine with Reigns because he has more than enough spears to go around.
Cue Bryan who thanks Reigns for the help against Rollins and to say he’s ready for Fast Lane. This brings out the Authority to bring up Reigns’ lost last week and rip on Bryan for putting Kane in the casket. Bryan: “Given what your husband has done in caskets, I thought you would enjoy it.” Stephanie makes Reigns/Bryan vs. Kane/Big Show right now. Now I know this sounds bad, but think of it this way: if they do this match, neither guy can wrestle again later. Just get it over with at the same time.
Roman Reigns/Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show/Kane
Bryan sends Kane to the floor to start for the Flying Goat and it’s quickly off to Reigns vs. Big Show. The Authority takes over in the corner with their variety of right hands and forearms, followed by Kane’s bad chinlock. Even the director gets bored with this one so they go to a clip of the spear to Big Show last week. Reigns fights out and suplexes Kane down, setting up the double tag to Bryan and Big Show.
Daniel busts out all the kicks and sends him to the floor with the big YES Kick. Kane and Show easily catch him in the air though and send Bryan back first into the ropes as we take a break. Am I missing something or did Bryan just go down to the equivalent of an Irish whip? Back with Big Show holding Bryan in a chinlock before it’s off to Kane for a bearhug. STOP PUSHING THESE TWO ALREADY! Big Show misses the Vader Bomb elbow but Kane breaks up the hot tag attempt. That earns Kane a YES Lock but it’s Show pulling Bryan to the floor. He throws Bryan into the timekeeper’s area for a fast DQ at 12:00.
Rating: D. The match was boring but as usual, the main issue here is these feuds still going for no reason other than the script saying they have to. Big Show and Kane are as dull and uninteresting of a pair of guys as I’ve seen since Bundy and Studd, and this is a far different time than their era. And, to go back to an old standard, was there ANY REASON why Kane didn’t tap out here? This just had to be a DQ?
Post match Reigns destroys Show with a chair but gets knocked into the corner by Kane. Bryan tries the running dropkick on Kane but hits Reigns by mistake. Roman shoves him down, so HHH makes Reigns/Bryan vs. Kane/Big Show/Mercury/Noble/Rollins. DEAR GOODNESS WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT THROUGH THIS AGAIN???
Seth Rollins vs. Ryback
Rollins, the fifth guy to work two matches tonight so far, quickly knocks him onto the floor to start before putting on a front facelock back inside. Ryback shoves him to the floor and fights off the Stooges, only to have them break up the Shell Shock attempt for the DQ at 2:59.
Ryback gets curb stomped post match.
Sheamus is coming back.
Paige vs. Brie Bella
Freaking BRIE MODE is back. I was told that was leaving and now I have to hear it again. I hate this company at times. Brie kicks her down for two to start and hits the running knee to chest (which is close enough to Bryan’s finisher to make it a nice idea) for two more. The middle rope dropkick gets the same as Paige hasn’t had any offense so far. A double slap staggers both girls but a Nikki distraction backfires, setting up Rampaige for the pin at 3:14.
Rating: D-. The Bellas are such a disaster on top of the division. They’ve actually gotten a bit better in the ring, but my goodness they’re the least interesting act I’ve seen in years. This idea that they’ve fought so hard to get to the top of the division doesn’t hold up and their matches are some of the worst messes I’ve seen in a long time. But they make the top stars happy and that’s all that matters.
Here are Rusev and Lane to pay tribute to John Cena. After some microphone feedback, they agree that Cena has accomplished great things in WWE and just like the Oscars or Grammys, they want to acknowledge someone who has done so much. We get a quick montage of Cena winning before going to clips of some of his worst beatings. Lana wonders how Cena can keep going through all this punishment over the years. Rusev talks about how Cena is no longer full of ruthless aggression and is now just a weak nothing. He’ll break Cena at Fast Lane and crush his spirit.
Cue Cena, sporting a black eye for a rebuttal. He says Rusev thinks he’s already won the match at Fast Lane, so why bother having the match at all? It’s because so many people are sick of hearing Rusev and Lana run their mouths all over the place. Yeah Cena has taken some beatings over the years and suffered a lot of injuries but he keeps getting back up. Cena is going to hit Rusev in the mouth at Fast Lane and adjust his attitude. Some more trash talking leads to a brawl with Cena getting the better of it until Rusev gets in a shot to the bad eye and sends him into the set. This was fine.
Bray Wyatt vs. Dolph Ziggler
Rematch from last week. Ziggler goes for the leg to start and the fans are split on who to cheer for, though Dolph’s cheers are louder. A dropkick sends Bray into the ropes but he elbows Dolph in the jaw to take over. Dolph avoids a charge in the corner and scores with a neckbreaker before snapping Bray’s throat over the top rope as we take a break.
Back with Bray holding a chinlock before hitting that running cross body. There’s something to be said about someone just launching themselves at their opponent. Dolph ducks a big clothesline and nails another dropkick to put both guys down. The Fameasser and a superkick get two on Bray but he takes Ziggler’s head off with the clothesline on the floor. Back in and the Spider Walk sets up Sister Abigail for the pin at 11:40.
Rating: C+. This was good, though the same thing as last week. Bray looked like his old monster self here though and it was one of the more entertaining things I’ve seen from him in a good while. Ziggler’s push coming off Survivor Series has been a complete waste, but does that really surprise anyone?
Junkyard Dog Black History Month video.
Here are Lesnar and Heyman to address the Fast Lane situation. Heyman brings up the Brian Williams controversy and calls Reigns and Bryan the biggest liars in the land. Both of them say that they’re fighting for a chance to go to Wrestlemania but they’re just lying to themselves. Let’s start with Roman Reigns: the most violent dude from the most violent tribe from the most violent island in all of Samoa. Heyman stood next to him and it was clear that Reigns was terrified of Lesnar.
Then there’s Bryan, who clearly has no chance against Lesnar. It’s not just the size difference because Bryan can back it up with ability and can pull off miracle after miracle, but do you really think he’s the one to beat the one in twenty one and one? Let’s get to the point: whoever wins the match at Fast Lane should jump in a helicopter with Brian Williams and subject themselves to enemy fire, because it will be less dangerous than the F5 waiting for them at Wrestlemania. Again, this was fine.
New Day vs. Goldust/Stardust
Woods is on the floor again. Kofi and Stardust get things going with the painted one scoring with a shoulder and cartwheeling. Goldust tags himself in and that’s already enough for Stardust, who walks out. Kofi gets the pin off a rollup at 1:38.
We look back at Reigns and Bryan having issues earlier tonight.
Bryan says he probably would have done the same thing to Reigns in the heat of the moment. Roman comes in and says they should work together tonight so they can handle their business at Wrestlemania. Daniel doesn’t react.
Post break Goldust says this is Dustin talking and says Cody is his brother. Stardust shoves him and says Cody is dead.
Here’s HHH to address Sting. He’s been around this company for twenty years to make this a better place. Now he has to deal with the face of WCW, a company he helped destroy fourteen years ago. Then at Survivor Series, Sting had to attack like a coward. That’s why HHH is calling him out at Fast lane to meet him face to face so he can explain to Sting why he was right to wait. If Sting shows up, he’ll be allowed to leave with his face intact and never come back again.
The lights dim and a crow is heard. We go to a creepy video with HHH talking and Sting paint superimposed over his face. The fans want Sting and we see someone in the ring (clearly not the real Sting) who scares HHH so badly that he falls down. The words I ACCEPT appear on the screen and the guy is gone.
Usos vs. Tyson Kidd/Cesaro
Non-title again and Cole says the rumor is a win could get Kidd and Cesaro in the title hunt. Lines like those are what make me hate WWE commentary. Jimmy slams Kidd down to start and it’s off to Jey as the announcers talk about the double date from Smackdown. Everyone falls out to the floor and the girls get in an argument as we take a break. Back with Jimmy suplexing Kidd but Cesaro breaks up the tag.
The heels take turns putting on chinlocks before Cesaro just hammers Jimmy’s face. Jimmy scores with an enziguri to knock Cesaro outside and the hot tag brings in Jey to face Kidd. Tyson blocks a dive but jumps into a superkick for a close two. The Running Umaga Attack misses and Cesaro shoves Jey off the top to give Kidd the pin at 10:37.
Rating: D+. GET. NEW. WRITERS! For the love of all things good and holy I’m so sick of seeing challengers beat the champions to get a title shot. Shut up with this nonsense about “getting a win to get in the title hunt” because THERE IS NO FREAKING TITLE HUNT! You have three teams having the same matches over and over again and see the division die more and more every single day. The Usos losing here makes the titles look even weaker, and now I’m supposed to want to see these teams fight again just because the worthless titles are on the line?
I would suggest that Kidd and Cesaro beat some teams to earn a title shot, but who are they supposed to beat? New Day? Los Matadores? As in the teams that have lost so many times that the wins mean nothing? We have probably ten people down in NXT spinning their wheels who have been ready for the big show for months but there’s just no room for them on the main roster? Are you kidding me? Get someone new in there so we can stop doing these same stupid ideas over and over again.
Rikishi is announced for the Hall of Fame. The loser Usos dance to celebrate. Does no one think before they map out these shows?
Damien Mizdow vs. Sin Cara
Miz makes Mizdow take off the sunglasses because he isn’t the stunt double anymore. Damien takes over but gets sent outside where Miz requests a water. That’s not enough thought as Miz wants him to open the water. The distraction lets Cara hit a dive over the top to take over as Miz isn’t very interested. The Reality Check puts Cara down but Miz freaks out over the Figure Four, allowing Cara to small package Mizdow for the pin at 3:43.
Rating: D+. This was story development more than a match, but instead of doing something like having Mizdow be better than Miz, we have Mizdow lose to give us yet another loser to cheer for, because, again, THE FREAKING WRITERS DON’T THINK THROUGH THIS NONSENSE BEFORE THEY THROW IT ON TV!
Bray Wyatt asks where we go when we die. Some say we become part of the earth, but some say we go on to eternity. People like him and whoever he’s talking about though are stuck on earth for the rest of time. They don’t belong here but Bray doesn’t fear him. He pities the man he speaks to because it’s time for that man to go home.
Sheamus is still coming back. Nothing has changed in the last hour and a half.
Dean Ambrose vs. Curtis Axel
In case Axel getting squashed on Smackdown didn’t get the idea through your head. Axel says no one is going to take this from him, not even Kanye West. Dean hammers him up against the ropes to start but Axel knees him in the face and rubs Dean into the mat. We hit the early chinlock but Dean fights up with the rebound clothesline and Dirty Deeds for the pin at 2:40. The match was nothing special, but they lost me when I was told Axel was a third generation sports entertainer.
Dean won’t stop until he gets his Intercontinental Title shot. Barrett pops up and says the BNZ (Bad News Zone) still says Dean gets no shot.
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns vs. Big Show/Kane/Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble/Seth Rollins
Here’s your “we have nothing else so here’s a big mess” main event. The five rush the two before the bell and it’s a big brawl to start. A double chokeslam plants Reigns and of course none of this warrants a DQ, meaning Bryan pulls himself up to start with Rollins. Seth talks a lot of trash and it’s off to Big Show for a slam. Reigns is nowhere in sight after the pre-match attack.
Noble comes in and gets sent into the middle turnbuckle but Mercury comes in to keep control. Seth has to break up a YES Lock and it’s off to Kane to continue the feud that will not die. Reigns finally gets up and starts beating people up but Big Show KO’s him with ease. A buckle bomb gets two on Bryan and the giants load up the announcers’ table.
Cue Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler for the save and the match…..isn’t thrown out despite three people interfering and fighting three legal men to the back. It’s the Stooges vs. Bryan now with Reigns still down. The running knee is loaded up but Reigns tags himself in and spears Mercury for the pin at 7:38.
Rating: D. This was SUCH a great way to make me want to see Reigns vs. Bryan. I mean, I don’t know about you, but seeing Kane and Big Show destroy everyone in their path is clearly the most interesting thing in the world. Boring match here and just a glorified squash because the Authority must look strong no matter what. To sum up this match, Bryan and Reigns can’t combine to beat up Big Show/Kane/Rollins, but can beat up two Stooges. I’m so glad I sat through two matches tonight to establish that fact.
Bryan is upset at Reigns for trying to leave. He shoves Roman away and eats a spear to end the show with Reigns getting a heel reaction.
Overall Rating: D+. This show got a lot better after the first half hour, but my goodness a lot of the booking on here drove me insane. It’s clear that this company either doesn’t think these shows through before airing them or just doesn’t care that people actually see them. I have no reason to care about a lot of the people I’m supposed to care about in so many of these stories for one simple reason: people don’t cheer for losers. Why is that so hard to comprehend?
Another thing that should be easily comprehended: there is no need for a PPV between the Rumble and Wrestlemania. Just let us have a long build instead of this mess. You could easily do Reigns vs. Bryan as a major Raw match and then save the rest of the stuff either for Wrestlemania or just not do it because the stories aren’t all that great. I get the Network business idea behind it, but that doesn’t do much for the on screen product.
Results
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Kane/Big Show via DQ when Show threw Bryan into the timekeeper’s area
Ryback b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble interfered
Paige b. Brie Bella – Rampaige
Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail
New Day b. Goldust/Stardust – Rollup to Goldust
Tyson Kidd/Cesaro b. Usos – Kidd pinned Jey after Cesaro shoved him off the top rope
Sin Cara b. Damien Mizdow – Small package
Dean Ambrose b. Curtis Axel – Dirty Deeds
Daniel Bryan/Roman Reigns b. Joey Mercury/Jamie Noble/Seth Rollins/Big Show/Kane – Spear to Mercury
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: February 2, 2015
The big idea coming into this week was HHH promising to shake up the WWE and end the controversy that ended the Royal Rumble. That led to the big question: what was the controversy? Reigns won the Rumble by eliminating Rusev and is going to Wrestlemania, but as usual the fans wanted Daniel Bryan. That’s the best theory we have coming into this show so let’s get to it.
The big announcement opened the show and I’ll give a very quick recap: Rock interfered in the Rumble before Rusev was gone so Seth Rollins and Daniel Bryan will fight in the main event for the right to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rusev was never mentioned once in the promo. This led to Big Show vs. Roman Reigns with Big Show pinning Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in less than three minutes (with an assist from Rollins and the briefcase).
We’re now going to jump to something a bit different. A few hours after the show ended, I was talking to my fiance, who has been watching wrestling for over twenty years. I looked at her and explained the first thirty minutes of this show. Her face went from its usual smile to confusion, awe and bordering on shock. She didn’t know how to respond to anything I explained to her and eventually just said “what”. Not a question, but a statement. What.
That’s somewhere around where I am too. Read over what happened and explain to me how the decision makes sense. For those of you that have ever taken a logic class, the premises make sense but the conclusion doesn’t fit. Yes, there was some controversy to end the Rumble. Yes, Rusev might have a claim to an unfair loss. Yes, Daniel Bryan deserves a rematch for the World Title as he never lost the belt. Solution: Bryan vs. Rollins with Rusev not being a factor. THAT DOESN’T ADD UP!
Just…..it doesn’t make sense. If they haven’t set up Rusev vs. Cena already, you could set up Bryan vs. Rusev instead of Bryan vs. Rollins tonight and have Cena cost Rusev the match (by countout of course), giving you Bryan vs. Reigns and Cena vs. Rusev with logical stories instead of this mess. But instead, they rushed into the matches without enough thinking, meaning the whole thing is a mess that doesn’t make a ton of sense and leaves fans talking about the buildup instead of the end goal. Short version: slow down and think instead of just barreling into the matches without using some logic.
That brings us to Reigns vs. Big Show, which gives me a similar reaction. The more I think about it, the more I don’t hate the idea. Giving Reigns a loss is a good way to build some adversity for him and keep him from being just another Superman. As I’ve said before, Roman Reigns needs to be Roman Reigns, not a Samoan John Cena. Having him lose early is actually going to be a relief to him later on and also takes away some of the certainty of him winning at Wrestlemania.
But……..WHY WAS THE LOSS TO THE BIG SHOW??? Of all the people on the roster, they felt that he needed to be the first man to defeat Roman Reigns? There was no one, like say Seth Rollins, that would have gotten more out of such a win? I can’t believe WWE thinks this is a hot feud and it almost has to be just sticking it to the fans at this point. On top of that though, there is almost no logical reason for them to have fought again. Reigns pinned him clean on Smackdown, so why are they fighting again? Bad match, questionable at best booking, and a way to tick the fans off. As was said earlier, what.
Oh yeah other stuff happened on this show.
Curtis Axel has a new catchphrase: Don’t change the channel. As much as I like Axel and think his potential has been wasted, that line made me chuckle, which says a lot after the mess I’ve seen so far tonight. Anyway, he thinks he got ripped off at Wrestlemania and ate Dirty Deeds from Ambrose for his opinion. Dean wants the Intercontinental Title, which is as good as anything else he could get around this time.
Stardust and Goldust are having issues and lost to Ascension. People have been asking for this feud for like ever so why not now. Oh and Stardust doesn’t like being called Cody.
Cena came out to recap his feuds with Rusev and the Authority but Stephanie came out to make matches for the three guys that were fired for Survivor Series. I’ve said this far too many times now, but can we PLEASE move on past Survivor Series? That show was two and a half months ago and it’s still a major driver of stories. Can’t they come up with something fresh by this point? I’m over the idea of seeing these three guys being tortured because of one match that doesn’t mean anything, but WWE seems to think it’s the most interesting idea they’ve ever seen.
Ryback beat Luke Harper because Harper is a former Intercontinental Champion and therefore doesn’t get to have much success.
Cesaro beat Jimmy Uso because of something about a double date and because Cesaro and Kidd winning one match makes them the next challengers for the titles. With all that talent they have, there’s no room to bring people up? They can’t throw Itami and Balor together on the main roster like they’ve thrown them together in NXT? Get them onto the main roster and then let them go their separate ways after giving us a decent title program? No, instead it’s the same “well we won a match!” build that people have been complaining about for years now but WWE doesn’t seem to be able to correct.
Miz fired Mizdow and made him a personal assistant. It’s about time on this one as the stunt double thing stopped making sense about ten seconds after it started. Miz has basically been fighting a bunch of handicap matches while Mizdow hasn’t been allowed to contribute anything. It’s like hiring a chef but not letting them cook anything because you think you’re better in the kitchen. The whole thing never made sense and Mizdow is over for all the wrong reasons, which to be fair is better than not being over at all.
Wyatt beat Ziggler in a decent match, which seems to be the start of a rumored Ziggler heel turn. I’ve heard of worse ideas as he’s been abused by the Authority for months, so why not have him give up? I mean, we can’t have him get revenge on the Authority and make them look bad, because WWE is little more than an Authority vanity project when they’re involved.
While talking to the Authority, Rollins name dropped Randy Orton. That’s going to be an interesting return as it could open up a lot of doors in the main event scene.
Paige beat Alicia Fox and was attacked by the Bellas to further set up her title shot. The Bellas have just drained whatever energy this division had going for it. Yeah they’re better than they used to be and I’ll take this a million times over “and I’ve never told anyone about this”, but my goodness the Bellas just aren’t interesting.
Mizdow cost Miz his match against Sin Cara, which I don’t think surprised anyone.
Rusev beat up Rowan before their match and Accoladed him. The Russian flag messed up but the announcers actually covered it by saying Cena might have sabotaged it. It’s nice to see them tie a mistake into a bit of a storyline advancement.
Bryan came in to talk to Reigns and was basically told to get out before he was thrown out. This was the kind of emotion and aggression we haven’t seen from Reigns in a long time and it was a good sign for him.
Bryan beat Rollins with an unintentional assist from Reigns. It was probably the only way they could have gone and the match was the best thing that happened all night. There isn’t much else to say here as it was Bryan vs. Rollins for seventeen minutes. What more do you need to hear?
Overall this Raw felt like getting punched in the jaw to knock out a sore tooth. Yeah your problem is solved, but now you’re annoyed and sore instead of just in pain. I’m really not sure how this was the best option they could come to, but at least we’re getting Reigns in a major singles match before Wrestlemania. A win over Bryan could take away some of the heat on him, especially if it’s a clean win in a good match.
The first half hour of this show really drained me, but it’s not quite as bad looking back at it a week later. Still though, this is a really weird way to get where they needed to go and could have been handled a lot better if they had just stopped and thought for a minute. Again, why not just have Rusev vs. Bryan with Cena costing Rusev the match and set up the Rollins stuff later? It makes sense and keeps Rusev involved, which was the whole point of the controversy in the first place.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – March 24, 1997: Bret’s Magnum Opus
Monday Night Raw Date: March 24, 1997
Location: Metro Center, Rockford, Illinois
Attendance: 7,557
Commentators: Jim Ross, Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler
Wrestlemania has passed and we have a new savior in the form of Steve Austin. Last night, in one of the most famous (and best) matches of all time, Austin turned face for the first time and refused to give up to the Sharpshooter, eventually passing out from the pain. This made Austin the superstar he was destined to be and kicked off one of the best stretches the company has ever had. Let’s get to it.
Opening sequence.
After a quick recap of last night, we’re told Mankind is the #1 contender. Why you ask? Well I ask as well but there’s no explanation given. Just go with it.
Tag Team Titles: Headbangers vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog
The Headbangers won a fourway match last night to earn this shot. Owen spins out of Mosh’s wristlock to start and dragon screw leg whips him down. Off to the Bulldog vs. Thrasher with Davey taking over and dropping Owen into a splash for two. The Legion of Doom, also named #1 contenders without much of a reason, are in the back and say they want the belts.
Vince asks about the kitchen sink Hawk brought in last night and Hawk says he didn’t like the stainless steel. It takes a lot to make a line like that work but Hawk somehow pulls it off. Mosh gets delayed suplexed for no cover but it’s quickly off to Thrasher for an elbow to the jaw and a chinlock. Back up and Bulldog runs into Owen by mistake as the issues continue. Hart actually walks out and we take a break. Back with the Headbangers getting two off something like a Trash Compactor on the Bulldog.
More stomping has him in trouble but a double DDT finally puts the Headbangers down. Owen comes in to speed things up but tags Bulldog back in just a few seconds later. The champs tag again just a few seconds later as you can see the issues growing. Owen missile dropkicks Thrasher for two and there’s the Sharpshooter but Mosh makes the save. Bulldog sneaks in for the powerslam but Owen doesn’t want the pin that way. As they argue, Bulldog shoves the referee down for the DQ.
Rating: C. This took its time getting going but the challengers could have been any given warm bodies. It’s another part of the big story in the company and it’s going to get even better very soon. I’m not sure why the Headbangers were as over as they were but I never quite got their appeal. The DQ ending makes sense here too as the champs fighting is now costing them a match. That’s called building a story and when done right, it’s as good as wrestling gets.
The champs get in a fight post match until referees have to break it up. Owen gets the mic and says he’s the real star of the team and wants a European Title shot. Bulldog says he beat him in Berlin for the title and he’ll beat him again next week because he carries this team. Oh yeah this is about to get awesome in a hurry.
Mankind is sitting in the boiler room and says Paul Bearer is gone for reasons not explained. He needs his family and begs Uncle Paul to come back. Don’t make him find you Paul. Bray Wyatt reminds me more of this Mankind every day and that’s a very good thing.
Bart Gunn vs. HHH
Before the match, Bret Hart pops up on screen and says this was supposed to be his time but Vince McMahon keeps taking it away. Vince says that can’t happen if there’s more of the language he used last week and Bret is granted the time later tonight. Feeling out process to start and Bart nails a shoulder block before getting a lesson chopped into him in the corner.
A gorilla press puts HHH down but he avoids an elbow drop as this isn’t the most thrilling match in the world. Instead they switch it up to show a split screen with Goldust next to Marlena’s chair, talking about how hard it was to see her hurt last night. Next week, he’s coming for his revenge. See how simple these stories are? It’s all about the delivery and the execution of those stories and it made for some incredible television. Lawler is already into the movie title puns as HHH beats up Bart Gunn like he’s HHH and his opponent is Bart Gunn.
An elbow gets two on Gunn but he comes back with a powerslam as Vince previews later in the night to try and keep the fans awake. Chyna low bridges Gunn to the floor (with Bart being enough of a gentleman to fall before Chyna touched the ropes) and posts him, setting up the Pedigree for the pin.
Rating: D. Yeah what else are you expecting here? At the end of the day, it’s Bart Gunn vs. HHH in a seven minute match that was more about Chyna than anything else. It’s not a good match and it’s not anything interesting, but that was the case for the midcard at times. They were still trying to figure this part out, and HHH was still in a weird place.
Slammys recap with Todd Pettengill singing for some reason. This was back when it was something like an awards show instead of whatever they are now.
Maniaco/Hysterio/Abismo Negro vs. Venum/Super Nova/Discovery
I only know two of these guys and I’m at Vince’s mercy to tell me who is who. We cut to Bret not thirty seconds into the match to complain about not getting his time. To be fair, he really should be on there than this nothing match. We’re finally told that Venum backflips into the ring but eats a spinwheel kick from Hysteria. A headscissors puts Hysteria down and a headscissors does the same.
Hysteria goes up top but gets dropkicked to the floor, only to have him avoid a Venum dive. I think Abismo Negro comes in to chop Discovery but Discovery botches a springboard wristdrag. The announcers aren’t giving us anything but house show ads at this point so I’m completely lost. Everything breaks down and they unleash the dives with Venum botching a handspring kick into let’s say Nova, but Nova missile dropkicks Negro. Back up and a bad looking top rope hurricanrana is enough to pin Maniaco.
Rating: D+. The high flying was passable but nothing more than that. However, this was the worst commentary I’ve ever seen. The announcers clearly had no idea who the wrestlers were and didn’t care enough to find out. I mean, you can’t put “Nova wears blue” on a piece of paper in front of you? The match was nothing special, but my goodness the commentary was a disaster.
Earlier today, before the fans came in, Rocky Johnson and Rocky Maivia were sitting in the empty arena with the younger one being glad his father was there to help save him last night as a surprise. The dad promises to never interfere again.
Flash Funk vs. Brooklyn Brawler
Honky Tonk Man is on commentary again and seems to hate everything about Funk. The Brawler jumps him to start and hammers away with that incredibly successful offense of his. Funk comes back with right hands and a kind of reverse t-bone suplex to send Brawler outside. A nice dive takes Brawler down again and the 450 is good for the pin.
Rating: D-. The Brooklyn Brawler is getting TV time in 1997. Is there any doubt as to why this show is such a mess at this point? I mean, these matches are just there as a way for the announcers to hype up stuff later on, which isn’t exactly the same as setting up Sting vs. Hogan for later in the year.
Ken Shamrock says he stopped the match last night because Austin was unconscious. Somehow this takes about two minutes, mainly because Vince won’t stop asking him questions after Shamrock said why he stopped it. That kind of answers everything Vince wants to know but he keeps asking the same question in different ways. Shamrock doesn’t like Austin but he respects him after that performance.
Hour #2 begins.
Here’s Bret for his much requested interview time. He takes the mic from JR and sends him to the corner before apologizing to his fans all over Europe, Japan, the Far and Middle East and of course Canada for his actions last night. However, he certainly does not apologize to the fans here in America because they won’t cheer for him no matter how hard he tries or how hard he wins.
The fans’ reactions make him feel like he lost to a gutless creep like Steve Austin. Bret brings up the loss last year to Shawn, who screwed him out of the World Title with the overtime of the Iron Man match. He was watching the show from Canada and said the company needs a hero. Vince is shown looking very uncomfortable. Bret brings up Shawn posing in a girly magazine (Playgirl) but calls it a gay magazine for a line that would get him fired today.
Then he came back and fought Steve Austin and Sid but Shawn cost him the title. No one cared though because Shawn is the golden boy. All Bret had to do then was win the Royal Rumble, which was fine with him. He went in the Rumble and won but Austin came back in and was declared the winner. A better man would have quit and gone home, but that’s not what he did. Instead he has Monsoon and McMahon begging him to stick around and they came up with this idea called the Final Four for the Wrestlemania title shot.
Ok fine, but then Shawn bailed out of the title shot because of a fake knee injury. Bret won the title by beating three guys in one night, but that STILL wasn’t enough because he had to defend the title the next night on Raw. That was fine too because he doesn’t run away and claim a fake injury. Sid was in the Sharpshooter but the fans booed Bret anyway. Then Austin came in and hit him in the head with a steel chair, but that’s acceptable in America.
The fans said Bret cried to Monsoon for a match with Austin so he was given a submission match, plus a World Title match against Sid inside a steel cage. Well Bret had that won too but Austin and Undertaker cost him the title again. That left him with one thing on his mind: giving Austin the beating that he deserved.
Bret gave Austin the beating of his life but the fans STILL booed him. He’s proven himself every single time in the WWF and tried to be everything the fans want, but they don’t understand what it means to have some poise and class. You would rather cheer for Charles Manson and O.J. Simpson because no one glorifies criminals like Americans. Everywhere else around the world, the fans still believe in him and have some respect. It’s clear to him now that no American fan respects him, but the fact is he doesn’t respect them either. They’re done from here on in.
This brings out Shawn Michaels to say that no one knows more than him that it takes divine intervention to get that belt off of Bret (inside reference #1). It’s not his fault that he chooses to live an open life and it doesn’t make Bret the better man. As far as Austin is concerned, Shawn was there last night and Austin never gave up. Even Bret has to admit that Austin is tough. Shawn isn’t ready to fight tonight and he’s fine with not being the #1 guy. He isn’t obsessed with this like Bret, the “Mark Man” (inside reference #1).
These fans have the right to cheer or boo anyone they want because there’s a thing in America called the First Amendment, which means they can do whatever they want without repercussion, even if Bret doesn’t like it. Shawn says Bret can love America or leave it so Bret tells him to get out. They stare each other down and Shawn says he isn’t good with authority. Oh by the way: how did Bret know he was in that magazine? “You just had to flip through the pages didn’t you?”
That’s enough for Bret as he kicks out the bad knee and puts him in the Figure Four around the post to make Shawn scream in pain. The fans chant for Shamrock but get Vince himself coming over to try and break the hold. That works as well as you would think so Sid comes out to chase Bret away and finally get him off Shawn as we go to a break and not a minute too soon as I need a chance to breathe that was one of the best segments I’ve ever seen.
Bret is so perfect for this character for a lot of reasons, but there’s one above all others: he’s built himself up so well over the years and been such a quiet guy most of the time that when you finally see something else, it makes the whole eruption so different. Bret let out every bit of frustration and anger he’s built up over a year and it creates a real divide among people who loved Bret and agree with everything, and the others who don’t like having words put in their mouth and see Bret’s actions as that of a whiny coward who doesn’t have his precious title anymore.
You can also see a lot of CM Punk’s Pipe Bomb in this tirade as just like Punk, Bret turned his back on the people after doing everything he said over the years and complaining about a lack of respect. The idea of having no one left to trust made Bret the company’s top heel and really signaled a changing of the guard. Bret is instantly back at the top of the company and has a set of feuds ready for him.
On top of all that, Bret’s delivery can’t be overlooked. People never give him enough credit for his promo abilities and I think that’s due to him not being the most emotional guy in the world. He isn’t funny most of the time and he doesn’t show a ton of emotion, but he gets his point across very well and makes you listen to him. It’s similar to an Arn Anderson who broke things down to the most basic levels but kept you paying attention because you could understand every thing he said. Absolutely incredible stuff here and worth going out of your way to find.
Rocky Maivia vs. Leif Cassidy
Non-title and joined in progress after a break with the two fighting on the floor. Maivia hits a dive off the apron into a cross body as Bret comes out again. Hart sits in on commentary and says he’s opened his eyes. Cassidy gets two off something we didn’t see, but we do see Shawn being helped out of the building with a big bandage around his knee. The champ avoids a frog splash, hits the Maivia Hurricane and wins with the high cross body in a backdrop for Bret’s latest tirade against America on commentary.
Bret decks Maivia and leaves.
Savio Vega vs. Ahmed Johnson
Ahmed starts fast but misses a charge into the post. The Nation (minus an injured Faarooq) is standing on the stage as Vega stomps and chokes a lot. The fans aren’t really into this one and can you blame them after what they’ve seen? More choking ensues as there’s just nothing to talk about in this match.
A horrible looking atomic drop from Johnson gives him control and they fall out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Johnson hitting a delayed suplex and a top rope flip dive (Johnson was a FREAK) but missing a big elbow. Vega’s sleeper eats up more time but Ahmed fights up and hits a Rock Bottom of all things. A spinebuster brings the Nation in for the DQ.
Rating: D-. REALLY dull match here to fill in some time near the end of the show but Johnson’s offense, while sloppy, was kind of mind blowing. Vega was nearing the end of his limited usefulness here and it’s no surprise that the Nation would be changed soon after this. Boring match.
After chasing them off with a 2×4, Ahmed issues a challenge to the Nation for a match at In Your House where the Nation is gone if he wins. This took me about five minutes to understand, despite it only lasting thirty seconds.
Paul Bearer doesn’t want to talk.
Here’s Undertaker to close the show. Yeah remember him? The new World Champion? He welcomes the Creatures to the dark days of this company because this title belongs to them and he’ll be the knight that fights anyone who opposes them. Undertaker thanks Sid for the match last night and promises him a rematch when it’s Sid’s time. This reign will be longer than his first because he’ll stay sharp with opponents like Mankind. The Mandible Claw can stop anyone, but here’s Bearer before Undertaker can keep going. Mankind pops up on screen to shout for his Uncle Paul but the show goes off the air before much is said.
Overall Rating: C+. It takes quite the promo segment to turn this horrible night of wrestling into a show that has me drooling to see more. Bret was on the roll of a lifetime here and the upcoming stories are going to be even better. Austin is coming back next week and there’s almost no way this isn’t going to be incredible. Unfortunately the rest of the show pretty much sucked, with almost nothing interesting going on and a bunch of time being wasted until Bret could come back out and do more. The midcard was coming, but it wasn’t there yet.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – February 2, 2015: Are They High Or Just Really Stupid?
Monday Night Raw Date: February 2, 2015
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, John Bradshaw Layfield
Tonight is a major night as HHH has promised to shake the company to its core and give us an end to the controversy at the Royal Rumble. What that controversy is isn’t really clear but hopefully he’ll give us an explanation tonight. Other than that we’re getting closer to Fast Lane and therefore closer to Wrestlemania. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of HHH on Smackdown, promising tonight’s major announcement.
Opening sequence.
Here are Stephanie and HHH for the announcement as a lot of the midcard watches in the back. First up, they talk about the Super Bowl and Stephanie emphasizes that the Patriots won because it was best for business. I thought they won because they scored more points. HHH hopes they can survive the new “Cancel the NFL Movement” that struck after the end of the game last night.
HHH shows us the controversy to end the Rumble, which is Rock coming in to attack Big Show and Kane before Rusev was officially eliminated. After comparing the ending to the end of the Super Bowl (I assume when the fight started before the last kneel down), HHH says Rock coming in wasn’t ok. Rock is a huge Hollywood star but that doesn’t mean he can come back in just because he’s a name. Sting recently did the same thing, and it stops at Fast Lane.
That’s why HHH has called Sting out to come to the ring at Fast Lane to solve their problems. You can see that on the WWE Network for just $9.99, or free for new subscribers in February. That brings them back to the original problem: what would have happened if Rock hadn’t come out? Maybe Roman Reigns wouldn’t have won the Rumble, meaning his victory is tainted. They haven’t actually said Rusev’s name in this whole thing. Reigns comes out and says no one is taking away his win. Stephanie says she knows what it’s like to have a family legacy to live up to and says it shouldn’t stop him from going to Wrestlemania.
Cue Daniel Bryan in a new shirt to really wake the crowd up. He says the real controversy is him being stripped of the title and never getting a rematch. If the title match is open at Wrestlemania, he wants to officially throw his name in the hat. HHH sees the logic in that and could see Bryan getting the shot at Wrestlemania. This brings out a smiling Rollins and the Stooges as we take a break due to what seemed like microphone issues.
Back with Rollins asking Bryan if he really wants to face Lesnar for the title at Wrestlemania, because Lesnar would eat him alive. If anyone deserves the shot at Lesnar one on one, it’s Rollins because he broke Brock’s ribs. Reigns cuts him off with the threat of a punch to the face but HHH gets to the point: tonight it’s Bryan vs. Rollins and the winner gets to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the shot at Wrestlemania. Reigns eventually accepts the deal but is told to stay in the ring.
Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
This is joined in progress after a break because WWE has no idea what fans want to see. Reigns tries to fight out of a bearhug but gets headbutted out to the floor. Back in and Roman hits a middle rope clothesline to put Show down. He sends Show into the post but the Stooges break up a Superman Punch attempt, allowing Show to hit a bad spear for two. Reigns fights out of a chokeslam attempt and hits the Superman Punch, only to have Reigns hit Rollins in the back with the briefcase, allowing Big Show to chokeslam Reigns for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in WWE at 2:40 shown.
HHH and Stephanie are in the back and laugh about manipulating everyone into getting what they wanted. Next up: manipulate Austin on the podcast. So it’s going to be kayfabe. Freaking joy.
Here’s Curtis Axel for a chat. Axel: “Don’t turn the channel because I’ve got something to say!” JBL: “I was thinking about changing the channel.” He says he should be going to Wrestlemania because he got sucker punched before he could ever get in. Cue Dean Ambrose and it’s time for a fight. He easily throws Axel over the top and says no he’s eliminated.
Ambrose has some demands of his own. He trudged through the ice and snow to WWE Headquarters and saw a wall of former champions. He takes a nice mugshot so maybe he would look great on that wall. Recently he pinned Bad News Barrett so he’s in line for an Intercontinental Title shot because his face would look good on that wall. Get ready for the road to Fast Lane. Axel jumps him again and winds up taking Dirty Deeds.
Video on Ernie Ladd for Black History Month.
Ascension vs. Goldust/Stardust
Viktor runs over Stardust to start but Goldust sneaks in for some cheap shots before dragging his brother to the ropes for a tag. Off to Konnor who gets kicked in the side of the head but a quick Fall of Man ends Goldust at 1:48. Stardust disappeared after the first thirty seconds.
Stardust walks out on Goldust after the match.
After a break Goldust comes up to Stardust in the back and calls him Cody to make Stardust snap. He says never call him that again, hisses, and walks off.
Here’s Cena with something to say. The match with Rusev at Fast Lane is officially a US Title match. You can see the DQ finish from here. First up though is the Austin Podcast tonight where Austin can ask questions no one wants to ask, but HHH might just step around them all again. HHH has taken over NXT and rebranded it into a group of guys who are ready to come in here and take over. His vision is a WWE without John Cena, but HHH has to answer to sponsors and TV companies and that’s not the best idea.
The Authority tried to make him give up but that’s never going to happen. We see Sting coming out to help Cena beat the Authority two weeks back, meaning welcome back Rowan, Ziggler and Ryback. Well back to Raw that is as they’ve been back for about a week and a half already. Cena knows Rusev can be beaten but here’s Stephanie to cut them off. Ziggler cuts her off but she says those three haven’t fought any of their own battles. Tonight it’s Ziggler vs. Wyatt, Rowan vs. Rusev and Ryback vs. Harper.
Ryback vs. Luke Harper
They trade suplexes to start with Ryback hitting a nice delayed version. The middle rope splash gets one on Harper but Luke big boots him out to the floor to take over. Another boot to the face gets two and we hit the chinlock on Ryback. He fights back up and hits a Thesz Press, only to walk into the swinging Bossman Slam for two. The Meat Hook is countered with a third kick to the face for two more and Shell Shock is countered into a sunset flip for two. Back up and Shell Shock is good for the pin on Harper at 6:00.
Rating: C. The match was a decent power showdown but my goodness this is their big idea? Having Harper get pinned here completely clean? I’m so glad he’s now being used to get someone over again because we’re somehow still dealing with fallout from Survivor Series. This show is getting harder and harder to sit through.
Jimmy Uso vs. Cesaro
This is apparently over a double date Natalya set up for her and Kidd with Jimmy and Naomi. Well of course it is. Cesaro jumps him to start but Jimmy comes back with some chops to tak over. Jimmy whips him to the floor and a Jey distraction sets up a flying Uso to put Cesaro down.
Back in and we hit the chinlock on Jimmy, followed by the Cesaro Swing. A double stomp and tiger bomb get two on Jimmy but he comes back with some clotheslines. The superkick is countered and Jimmy is sent outside, but Kidd can’t get in any cheap shots. Back in and Jimmy superkicks him out of the air, setting up the Umaga attack. Kidd offers a distraction though and Cesaro uppercuts Jimmy out of the air for the pin at 6:22.
Rating: D. This show has completely drained me. We’re only halfway through the show and I already don’t care about anything else they’re going to air tonight. This was your standard way of setting up the Tag Team Title match because WWE only knows a few ways to set matches up nowadays and they used up their one interesting idea with Naomi, meaning it’s time for another year of the same rehashed ideas.
Kidd gets in a cheap shot on Jey after the match.
WWE Network plugs.
Mizdow is getting Miz food at catering when a guy comes up to ask for an autograph. Miz shrugs him off but the guy was asking Mizdow. Damien is happy to sign but Miz rips up the picture and erupts on Mizdow for getting too big of a head after all those months of Mizdow dressing up in costumes and losing all the time. Miz fires him but gives Mizdow a new job as personal assistant. Mizdow goes along with it but looks defeated.
Rowan comes in and thanks Cena for making him his own man. Tonight he’ll thank him by hurting Rusev.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray runs him over with a forearm to start and gets in a cheap shot as the referee tries to break it up. A Fameasser attempt sends Bray running to the floor and things slow down. Back in and Ziggler grabs the leg but eats a big uppercut for his efforts. The backsplash gets two and we hit the nerve hold. They’re just doing moves to each other at this point, likely due to the fact that there’s no reason for these two to be fighting. Some dropkicks have Bray in trouble but he snaps Ziggler ribs over the middle rope and suplexes him out to the floor.
We come back from a break with Bray putting on a chinlock to keep killing time. Ziggler fights up and sends Bray shoulder first into the post, only to dive into a right hand. The second backsplash misses though and Ziggler hits a running clothesline, followed by a neckbreaker to put Bray down. Bray takes his head off with a clothesline but Ziggler nails the running DDT for two more. Things speed up and Ziggler hits something like a running superkick to the ribs (it certainly wasn’t the jaw) for two. Ziggler hits the Fameasser but Bray pops up and grabs Sister Abigail for the pin at 14:54.
Rating: B-. This took its time to get going but they picked up after the break. Bray winning is the right move at this point, but it really didn’t need to be at Ziggler’s expense. As usual, they have no idea how to get through storylines without having guys they want to get over losing at some point. I’m all for Wyatt getting a stronger push though.
Rollins comes in to see the Authority and they tell him they’re giving him this match because they have faith in him. They bring up Orton for the sake of plot convenience and Seth promises to go to Fast Lane.
Paige vs. Alicia Fox
The Bellas are on commentary so Paige goes over to scream at them. Back in and Fox gets two off a northern lights suplex before putting on a chinlock as the Bellas speak in hashtags. Fox hits a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker but Paige small packages her for the pin at 2:44.
Brie covers Paige with tanning spray post match.
Miz is on Sirens this week.
Sin Cara vs. Miz
Mizdow stands at ringside instead of imitating Miz, drawing an even louder chant than usual. Miz’s early chinlock doesn’t get him anywhere as Cara hits some spring cross bodies. Cara goes up and Mizdow is worried, but Miz avoids the Swanton. Damien can’t help himself and teases going to the top, only to be yelled back to ringside. Back in and Miz gets two off a boot to the head and puts on a chinlock. Just have Mizdow cost him the match already. Cara fights up but gets put right back down, drawing Mizdow up to the apron. Miz yells at him but gets rolled up for the pin at 5:40.
Rating: D. This was all storyline advancement and it could have been anyone in Sin Cara’s role. The show has already crippled my soul and I have no real interest in a lot of what’s going on here, but that’s almost the new norm around here. Miz and Mizdow splitting is a good thing, even though Miz has been doing a face’s work for months now.
Miz yells at Mizdow but Bray cuts them off. He says he’s been watching someone for a long time now and he’s the new face of fear. Bray can’t wait to see someone again. Find him. It shouldn’t be hard to do as it’s almost Wrestlemania season.
Erick Rowan vs. Rusev
Non-title. Rusev jumps Rowan before he gets in the ring and quickly posts him. He rips at Rowan’s face and bends him around the ropes and slapping on the Accolade. No match.
Lana invites us to a movie premiere since it’s Oscar season. This movie is reality instead of the usual happy fairytale ending that will show what happens to anyone who opposes Rusev. We get a Rusev highlight package of people being destroyed by the Russian before posing ensues. The Russian flag doesn’t come down properly and the Russians are livid. Thankfully the announcers say Cena had something to do with this, which is a nice save in case it’s not true.
Daniel Bryan comes into Reigns’ locker room and says he saw what Rollins did out there. He knows Roman wants revenge, but it’s not coming at Fast Lane. Reigns perceives this as a threat and tells Bryan to get out. Reigns felt a lot more heelish here.
Seth Rollins vs. Daniel Bryan
Winner gets Reigns at Fast Lane for the Wrestlemania title shot. Rollins runs him over with a shoulder to start but Daniel starts going after the arm. An armbar attempt sends Rollins bailing to the ropes before he throws Bryan outside. The Stooges get in some cheap shots and Seth dives on Bryan as we take a break. Back with Rollins in control and Big Show looking on from ringside.
Bryan fights back with right hands but gets caught in a quick downward spiral into the buckle. Daniel backflips over him out of the corner and hits the running clothesline before firing off the kicks in the corner. A top rope hurricanrana is countered into a sunset flip for two for Rollins and both guys fight back to their feet. The Stooges try to interfere but Bryan throws Rollins out onto them and hits a big Flying Goat to take them all out.
Back in and Seth crotches him on the top to break up the flying headbutt but Bryan hooks a belly to back superplex for two. The running knee is countered into the Buckle Bomb and the low superkick gets two more. Rollins takes his time going after Bryan though and gets caught in the YES Lock but gets his feet on the bottom rope. Cue Reigns to spear Big Show. Mercury gets speared as well but Noble comes in with the briefcase, allowing Reigns to Superman Punch Rollins. The running knee sends Bryan to Fast Lane at 17:11.
Rating: B. Well that helped a lot. It doesn’t save this show or really come close to it, but the booking made sense and Bryan gets a big win. Now I give him almost no hope of winning the match against Reigns or getting into the main event of Wrestlemania, but it’s nice to see something like this happen to give the fans something to cheer for.
HHH says he’ll address this on the Podcast.
Back in the arena, Bryan thanks the fans for putting him here and promises to win the match at Fast Lane for them.
Overall Rating: D+. This show got a lot better near the end but that first hour was as bad of a stretch as I can remember in years. Reigns losing might seem like some big plan, but my goodness they’re overthinking these things. There was no real need to address this made up controversy, especially when Rusev wasn’t even a factor in the plans. Bryan is being shoehorned in to appease some fans and I’d give him about as much of a chance at main eventing Wrestlemania as I have.
The rest of the show was WAY too Authority heavy as this felt like another show from back in the pre-Survivor Series days. For some reason the Authority is still going after those three guys when the story has been dead (or at least should have been dead) for months now. I’m not sure what we’re getting at Wrestlemania and they’re making it a pretty boring way of finding out.
Results
Big Show b. Roman Reigns – Chokeslam
Ascension b. Goldust/Stardust – Fall of Man to Goldust
Ryback b. Luke Harper – Shell Shock
Cesaro b. Jimmy Uso – European uppercut
Bray Wyatt b. Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Small package
Sin Cara b. Miz – Rollup
Daniel Bryan b. Seth Rollins – Running knee
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Raw spoilers incoming.The controversy wound up being Rock interfering in the Rumble, meaning Rusev got screwed. The solution? Bryan vs. Rollins tonight with the winner going to face Reigns at Fast Lane for the Mania title shot. Rusev wasn’t mentioned in the promo.
We’re not done though. REigns was in the ring for the discussion and then had to fight Big Show. Big Show PINNED REIGNS, for his first pinfall loss in a singles match in less than three minutes. I know I said it wasn’t fair at the Rumble, but commence saying this company is making this nonsense up as they go.
Monday Night Raw – March 17, 1997: Bret Snaps
Monday Night Raw Date: March 17, 1997
Location: War Memorial, Syracuse, New York
Attendance: 4,737
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler, Vince McMahon
Here’s where everything changes for good and it blew the doors off the place. This is the go home show for Wrestlemania XIII and Bret Hart is challenging Sid for the World Title inside a steel cage. Hart has been getting screwed over and over again around this time, but this is his chance to get things back to normal. Let’s get to it.
Legion of Doom vs. Savio Vega/Crush
Savio and Crush are here without Faarooq. It’s a brawl on the floor to start with Hawk punching Savio in the jaw. Animal and Crush get inside as the fans are entirely behind the LOD, which is completely different from the NOD. All four get inside as we go to a split screen with Ahmed Johnson (in a bright purple jacket with a huge A J on the chest). The Nation bails to the floor for a breather and we go to a new split screen of Faarooq speaking Ebonics (his word) to communicate with Johnson.
Animal puts Vega in a chinlock as the third split screen of the match shows a clip from last night at Madison Square Garden (which I believe is the last house show recorded from that or any venue) of the Nation beating up Johnson with a 2×4. Crush comes in and no sells a Hawk clothesline but gets taken down by a dropkick and slam. We take a break and come back with Savio hitting his running spinwheel kick in the corner for no cover on Hawk.
Split screen #4 shows no Faarooq but we go to a full screen (thankfully with a monitor showing the match) to see Faarooq jump Johnson with a nightstick. Animal comes in off the hot tag and hits a double clothesline as everything breaks down. Crush gets loaded up for the Doomsday Device but Faarooq comes in with the nightstick for the DQ.
Rating: D. These split screens have to go. They’re causing the matches to be rushed because the show is trying to fit in too much stuff onto a show that can’t handle it yet. It didn’t help that it was a bad match with a lame ending, but I would have liked to be able to see the match. They easily could have either showed us the clip from last night before the match or simply told us about it. Faarooq attacking Johnson could have gone before the bell too. I like that they’re giving the stories some time, but they shouldn’t be sharing time with the match. It’s too rushed.
Johnson runs in with the 2×4 for the save. The yet to be named (and still fat) D’Lo Brown takes the Doomsday Device.
We look at the Slammy nominations for Freedom of Speech: Jerry Lawler, Paul Heyman, Steve Austin, Howard Stern (never appeared in WWF) and Faarooq. Guess who won.
There are rumors that the title won’t be on the line in the main event. Gorilla Monsoon is en route to the arena to make a decision, as is Shawn Michaels for less decision making.
Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Flash Funk
Chyna is officially named for the first time here. It takes forever to get her out of the ring, even when Flash threatens to hit her. Vince talks about HHH being more arrogant lately as Funk armdrags him down a few times and scores with a dropkick to send HHH to the floor. Back in and the pre-Game counters a reverse leapfrog into an electric chair drop to take over.
The Flair knee drop (complete with the camera cut so we can’t see it hit mat instead of head) has Funk in trouble but he comes back with a slam and top rope legdrop for two, with Chyna pulling him off the cover. A German suplex of all things gets two for HHH but he dives into a weak superkick for another two. Funk goes up top but Chyna interferes again (right in front of the referee), allowing HHH to hit the Pedigree for the pin.
Rating: D. This was basically a nearly six minute commercial for Chyna and establishing that she can be big and intimidating. It was a good pairing and the two had success, but they were rough around the edges to start. Nothing match of course but that’s what you have to expect from most squashes.
Shawn Michaels arrives.
We see a press conference where the Governor of New Jersey lifted a tax, allowing the WWF to come back. Of all people, they sent Undertaker to this in full gear. It’s quite the visual if nothing else.
Mini Vader/Mini Mankind vs. Mini Goldust/Mascarita Sagrada
This was a thing that happened a lot around this time and I still don’t get it. The problem with this batch though is other than Sagrada, they’re all about the same size as Rey Mysterio, which just makes them look like a bunch of 13 year olds in Halloween costumes. Goldust and Vader get things going with Vader punching him in the face to counter the deep breaths. Some armdrags put Vader outside so it’s off to Mankind for a running clothesline.
Sagrada comes in to actually do something exciting with his insanely fast flips and wristdrags. Mankind is sent to the floor but Vader sneaks in with a big running clothesline to the back of the head. It seems like this is under lucha libre rules, meaning going to the floor counts as a tag. Everyone winds up outside with Goldust hitting a cannonball off the apron to take Vader down, leaving Sagrada to victory roll Mankind for the pin. This was what it was.
Sagrada shoves Vader off the stage and hits a big (work with me here) cross body to take him down.
Gorilla Monsoon announces that the cage match will indeed be for the title. When was this ever in doubt?
Here’s Bret with something to say. He immediately gets into heel mode, saying he won the Royal Rumble and Final Four and deserves some respect. The new motto around here seems to be you scratch my back and I’ll stab yours. That’s the kind of thing the old Bret would never say. After he wins the title tonight, which of course he will, he’ll give Undertaker a shot and Undertaker can get in line with everyone else. Bret goes on about how he’s going to hurt Austin on Sunday and how he can’t wait for Shamrock to hear Austin say he quits. Just like last week, Bret is knocking this out of the park.
Mike Bell vs. The Sultan
Rocky is on commentary as Sultan piledrives, splashes and clutches Bell to win in less than a minute.
Sultan gets in Maivia’s face post match but Tony Atlas is here again to hold Rocky back. I’m still not sure why we’re supposed to be interested in Atlas being out there all the time.
Hour #2 begins.
Here’s Shawn for a chat and he’s back in full face mode. He immediately says he’s found his smile again because he left it in San Antonio but now he’s bringing it wherever he goes. A lot of fans sent him thank you cards and he thanks them for their patience because he’s a hard man to deal with. Vince asks about the knee injury and Shawn brings up President Clinton injuring his knee recently (well 18 years ago but you get the idea). He’s getting the knee looked at soon and should be back in a few months. One way or another, his clothes are coming off.
However, he has a bone to pick with Vince. He’s been sitting at home and knows that Wrestlemania is right around the corner. For some reason, his phone just hasn’t rung and there’s just no way to have a Wrestlemania without Shawn Michaels. He can walk well enough to get to Wrestlemania and do some commentary on the main event. While he’s at it, he might as well show up at the Slammys this Friday.
Vader vs. British Bulldog
Owen, Mankind and Bearer are at ringside. Vader shoves him around a few times and then pounds the Bulldog down in the corner with ease. Back up and Smith’s shoulders finally drop Vader and he actually hits the delayed vertical suplex. That’s freaking insane when you think about it. We take a break and come back with Vader’s middle rope splash getting two. Bulldog avoids a sitdown splash but his old crucifix is countered into a kind of Samoan drop.
Yet another splash gets two for Vader and the middle rope standing splash sends Bulldog flying across the ring. He’s still able to slam a diving Vader though, which is far more common of a spot than I thought it was. Bulldog picks him up, walks him around, and then slams him down in another scary display of strength. The powerslam is loaded up but Mankind gets involved for the DQ.
Rating: C. Decent power match here with Bulldog’s offense looking very impressive. I mean, he got Vader up for the delayed vertical suplex. That’s cool looking no matter how you look at it. I get why they went with that ending too as they didn’t want a champion losing going into a title defense. They need to watch these old shows to get some ideas.
Slammy ad.
Billy Gunn vs. Aaron Ferguson
Shamrock is on commentary and says Billy needs to pay attention to his opponent, because you never know what might happen. Gunn takes him down for a bad looking knee bar and Shamrock doesn’t sound impressed. The worst cross armbar I’ve ever seen makes Ferguson give up.
Gunn gets in Shamrock’s face post match and Ken gets in the ring. Shamrock gets in and takes him down into a Fujiwara armbar to make Gunn tap, which I believe is the first time that had ever been done in this company. The ankle lock makes it happen for the second time and Gunn tries to go get a chair but bails anyway.
We go to Austin who says that didn’t impress him because Gunn just finished a match. All Shamrock did was have some street fights that someone filmed, which means he’s an overrated piece of trash. One day he’ll beat Shamrock up and punch his lights out. Vince asks why he’s here tonight and Austin says he shows up anywhere there’s a ring. He’s going to win the title on Sunday and beat up Bret Hart because Hart can’t lace his boots. Vince sounds terrified and it’s with good reasons. You could see that look in Austin’s eyes here and he’s on a roll, clearly ready to go to the top of the company.
Sid tells Austin to stay out of his business because he rules the world.
The cage is being set up so the announcers preview the main event.
WWF World Title: Sycho Sid vs. Bret Hart
In a cage with old school escape only rules and Bret challenging. He still high fives fans on the way to the ring because the heel character is there but he hasn’t fully turned yet. Sid fists bumps fans too though so maybe Bret is already a full on heel. Hart is aggressive to start and stomps Sid down it he corner. That’s fine with Sid who hits his awkward right hands to the head, only to be snapmared down.
An early escape attempt causes Bret to get crotched on the ropes and Sid takes over. Bret is sent spine first into the cage three times in a row but he’s still able to catch Sid going over the top. They get back onto the mat with Sid pulling him down by the hair and going for the door but Austin comes out to keep the door closed. After a break, Bret is working on the champ’s back, only to have Sid hit a powerbomb out of nowhere.
Sid climbs up but Austin climbs as well and punches Sid back down into the cage. The war over Colonel Park’s contract continues! If you don’t get that reference, be glad you weren’t watching WCW back then. Bret climbs up as well and actually helps Austin beat up Sid instead of, you know, walking out the door with no one else around.
This brings out Undertaker to help Sid because he wants him to retain the title to ensure his title shot on Sunday. All four are on the corner of the cage until Austin and Undertaker fall down and Bret superplexes Sid. Austin chairs Undertaker as both guys in the match go to leave. Undertaker slams the door on Bret’s head and Sid climbs out to retain.
Rating: C. The match was nothing special but man alive do I love smart stories. Everyone here was doing exactly what they should have been doing and it made perfect sense. That shot of them all fighting on the cage was awesome and it’s so cool to see the whole thing playing out because they all want the title. Not because some evil boss told them what to do or some power struggle, but because they want to be World Heavyweight Champion.
After a break, Vince is in the ring with half of the cage down to talk to Bret. Hart shoves him down and goes into one of the greatest tirades since Savage split up the Mega Powers, dropping every swear word that he can think of about how everyone is against him and Vince keeps turning a blind eye to him getting screwed. Austin gets on the screen to call Bret a crying loser who couldn’t get the job done.
This brings out Sid, Undertaker and Austin with the big men pairing off for a brawl in the ring while Austin hammers on Bret outside. Bret fights back and nails Pat Patterson as Sid and Undertaker try to chokeslam each other. Undertaker starts getting the better of it as Shawn slowly walks down the ramp as Bret and Austin keep fighting. Michaels looks at both of them and gets in the ring with a chair as Sid and Undertaker fight to the floor to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. The show still wasn’t great this week with some bad to watchable wrestling but the historical significance of the angles was great. Bret turning heel was exactly what the main event needed and the big payoff this Sunday was exactly what the company needed and set up the next six months that would get them back in the fight. They were about to hit an incredible stretch and Bret vs. Austin would be at the top of the card. Not a great show this week but a very, very important one.
Monday Night Raw – March 10, 1997: The Skeleton of Greatness
Monday Night Raw Date: March 10, 1997
Location: Centrum Center, Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 4,088
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Jim Ross
This is the show where everything changes. After years of the same set and look, Raw changes over to the modern look with the metal ramp and huge screen that is still around today, FINALLY making it look like a modern show. We’re getting closer to Wrestlemania which means things are about to get really interesting in a hurry. Bret Hart isn’t pleased with the treatment he’s been getting lately and very soon he’s going to have a chance to get the title back. However, Steve Austin is lurking around and is willing to do whatever he can to ruin Bret’s life. Let’s get to it.
During the opening video, we can hear Finkel telling the fans to make some noise.
Opening sequence.
Here’s Sid to open the show with an in ring chat. Sid isn’t cool with teaming with Undertaker tonight, because he smells something fishy. Undertaker should just stay in the cemetery because he’s getting buried at Wrestlemania. Cue Undertaker to tell Sid to just admit that he’s scared. Undertaker doesn’t have to be his partner tonight because he can deal with Vader and Mankind himself. He drops the catchphrase but here are Bearer, Mankind and Vader to interrupt. Bearer talks some trash and the brawl is on with Sid and Undertaker running into each other as we head to a break.
Rocky Maivia vs. Tony Roy
Non-title. Iron Sheik, Bob Backlund and the Sultan (Rikishi) come out to talk about how they’re going to take Maivia’s Intercontinental Title at Wrestlemania. Roy gets in some cheap shots but eats a quick clothesline. Rocky hammers him down as Backlund rants about taking the title. The spinning DDT sets up Rocky’s high cross body (WAY across the ring) for the pin in a hurry.
Sultan comes in and is dispatched just as fast. The legends get taken down as well, allowing Rocky to escape. Tony Atlas, Rocky’s dad’s former Tag Team Championship partner is in the crowd and joins Rocky on the ramp.
Heavy Metal/Pentagon/Pierroth vs. Latin Lover/Hector Garza/Octagon
This was during the WWF’s attempt at topping the Cruiserweight division, despite these guys not being quite as good as Mysterio and Guerrera. Garza and Metal, the two of the three not in masks, get things going as Lawler promises to beat Paul E. Dangerously in a debate later tonight. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Pierroth and Lover, with Pierroth taking over with a clothesline.
Lover comes back with a spinning high cross body and Pierroth is nice enough to stand there so it can connect. Off to Octagon vs. Pentagon (the Jr. of which is currently in Lucha Underground), who look almost identical with black attire and colored masks. Pentagon gets armdragged down and it’s back to Garza vs. Metal. Metal misses a charge to the corner and falls outside but is still able to avoid a charging Garza. We cut to the crowd where a big, muscular woman is sitting in the crowd. Her name hasn’t been given yet but I’m sure you know who she is. Mongolia or something like that. Whoever she is, security gets rid of her as we take a break from the match going on in the background.
Back with the fans LOUDLY calling the match boring. Metal has his foot on Garza’s back before it’s off to Pierroth (I believe part of the heel team) as we go to a split screen of Chyna challenging Bret last week. Apparently Chyna has been arrested. For sitting in a crowd? Now we go to a new split screen for an interview with Brian Pillman who is back from another injury.
Lover dives off the top onto Pierroth, Metal dives onto both of them, and Octagon dives onto that big pile. None of this is acknowledged by the announcers until Garza does his big corkscrew plancha onto the five other guys. As we look at a double feature, Metal rolls up Lover for the pin.
Rating: C-. I assure you, the match was just as disjointed and messy on the show than it sounded here. It was clear that this was just meant as background noise for the storylines going on, which to be fair were more interesting than what we were seeing here. At the end of the day, there’s no reason to care about any of these guys and that played a huge role in the division never going anywhere.
Wrestlemania ad.
Roy Raymond vs. Ahmed Johnson
Johnson has been dealing with the Nation and needs partners to face them in a Chicago street fight. The good sized Raymond tries to get in some cheap shots and actually suplexes Johnson down as the Nation comes out to watch. Johnson doesn’t care for the white rappers though and beats up Raymond instead, setting up an ax kick and the Pearl River Plunge to end the jobber, all with the Nation theme song playing.
Faarooq goes on a rant about his father leaving him when he was a kid and calling Johnson an Uncle Tom. Johnson isn’t scared of the Nation because he has the two baddest men he can find. The entire Nation can come at him because Johnson has the city of Chicago in his corner. Here are the Legion of Doom to join Ahmed and we have a street fight for Wrestlemania.
You would think that would end the segment but JR gets in the ring to interview the new team. Hawk says the game is ready and after Wrestlemania, the Nation is going to look like a pile of raw….sweat socks? Animal asks if the Nation can hear the power of the fans, triggering a big LOD chant. Johnson says all of the Nation look white now, even the black boys. Because they’re scared you see.
New Blackjacks vs. Owen Hart/British Bulldog
Non-title again. Owen cuts off new European Champion the British Bulldog but swears he isn’t jealous. Before the match, Windham says they would win the titles if they were on the line here and Bradshaw accuses Owen of living off Bulldog. He also says Owen has purdy lips and the brawl is on. Owen posts Bradshaw on the floor as the cameras are still trying to master this new set. Bulldog clotheslines Windham outside and we settle down to Bradshaw hammering on Bulldog in the corner.
A split screen gives us Vader and Mankind, who will be challenging for the titles at Wrestlemania, saying the champs aren’t good enough or strong enough. Bradshaw fights back against Bulldog and knocks Owen off the apron. This split screen makes it really hard to keep track of the match. Back to a full screen with Owen backdropping Bradshaw but taking a low blow as JR plugs the hotline. They head outside with Owen going into the barricade before a suplex gets two back inside.
We take a break and come back with Windham breaking out of a sleeper with a jawbreaker as the fans again think this is boring. Owen tries to make a save as Bret vs. Sid in a cage is officially announced for next week. We’re still not done with the storylines during the match as Taz pops up on the split screen and warns Lawler not to keep making jokes about him. Bulldog shoves Bradshaw off the top and the hot tag brings in Owen. Spinwheel kicks drop both Blackjacks and everything breaks down with Owen putting Windham in the Sharpshooter, only to have Bulldog shove the referee for the DQ.
Rating: D. Wrestling wasn’t exactly this show’s strong suit if you haven’t gotten that yet. The ending is much more about building up the friction between the champs than anything else, which was supposed to lead to them dropping the titles at Wrestlemania. There wasn’t much to see here though and the split screens are getting old in a hurry. The Blackjacks went a total of nowhere off this push.
The announcers aren’t sure why the Blackjacks win, even though Bulldog clearly shoved the referee.
Preview of the Slammys, which used to be a separate show and far more memorable, as well as right before Wrestlemania.
As soon as the match is over, here are Taz and Bill Alfonso to get in Lawler’s face. Jerry goes right after him but Sabu dives off the top and right through a table. It’s not clear who he was trying to hit but Lawler seems to approve. Sandman and Tommy Dreamer get Sabu out of there.
Leif Cassidy vs. Miguel Perez
Cassidy is of course Al Snow. Lawler is ranting about Heyman and ECW but switches gears to insult Puerto Rico. We see a clip of Perez debuting a few weeks back in the Manhattan Center and he’s as generic as you can imagine. Perez hiptosses Cassidy over and hits some dropkicks as the crowd is really not interested.
With the match boring everyone to tears, we jump to another split screen with Paul Heyman shouting about wanting to fight Lawler. The other half of the screen is now on Lawler as we can’t see any of the match. For once I can’t say I blame them. Back to the ring with Cassidy working on Perez in the corner but missing a moonsault. You can see the empty seats opposite the camera and there are more emptying as the match goes on. Perez grabs a quick rolling cradle for the pin.
Rating: D. It’s clear that they had nothing better to do here than show the Heyman vs. Lawler stuff. Perez is just another (very hairy) guy who was brought in to fill in a spot on the roster. The company’s energy is starting to build up but there’s still this kind of stuff to get through at times.
Sid shouts that he doesn’t react but reacts reaction. He goes on about the tag match tonight and is ready for the cage match next week. Yeah there’s a major title match six days before Wrestlemania in case you didn’t realize this was a very different time.
Hour #2 begins.
Jim Ross brings out newcomer Ken Shamrock of UFC fame, even though UFC meant almost nothing at this point. Shamrock is going to be the special referee in the submission match at Wrestlemania because he’s a legitimate submission expert. He sucks up to the fans a bit and thanks Vince for letting him appear at Wrestlemania. Shamrock’s only concern is being a fair referee which is all he ever asks in his own fights.
Cue Austin on the screen, threatening to stomp a mudhole in Shamrock if he has to keep running his mouth. Austin isn’t happy with Bret getting a title shot six days before Wrestlemania, but he wouldn’t mind the submission match being for the title. Shamrock doesn’t have his gear tonight but he isn’t going anywhere if Austin would like to come try him out. Instead it’s Bret to a pretty strong but not universal ovation. Shamrock was very shaky on the mic here but to be fair he was brand new at this.
Bret says it’s nice of the WWF to let him finally say something all these weeks after losing the WWF World Title. He’s seen signs with people saying that Bret is crying again, but he’s had it up to here with the lack of justice but he accepts the WWF’s apology by giving him a title match next Monday night inside a steel cage. Sid is good, but next week Bret is going to become a five time champion. That means Austin is the lucky one because he’s going to be receiving a title shot at Wrestlemania.
In something that really affirms Bret’s change of attitude, he flat out says he’s the best submission wrestler in the company with Shamrock standing about five feet away from him. Everyone in the company has screwed him over (oh you have no idea) but he has no issues with Shamrock, unless he tries to screw him over at Wrestlemania. Shamrock says he’ll be a fair referee and raise the winner’s hand. This brings out Austin to flip both guys off and leave. I love how simple that was from Austin. Why give a big speech when you can just do something quick and leave?
This was an outstanding segment and the story of the Attitude Era in a nutshell: Bret, representing tradition and respect, can’t handle it when this in your face new generation is starting to pass him by. The war with Austin carried the company through 1997 and launched Austin into superstardom, but a lot of people overlook how good Bret was in this role. Most people don’t give him credit for how good he was on interviews, but he was able to keep it simple here and nail it with promos like this one. The character is great, the matches were some of the best ever, and the story was perfect.
Here’s Honky Tonk Man as he’s trying to find his new protege. He isn’t wasting his talents on a crowd like this and mispronouncing the name of the town, which is more old school, basic heel work that is almost guaranteed to work.
Billy Gunn vs. Aldo Montoya
Honky Tonk Man joins commentary and Montoya is Justin Credible under a mask. How amazing is it that Billy is still having pay per view matches eighteen years later? It’s one of those things that just doesn’t make sense that you would never imagine at this point. Gunn ties Montoya in the Tree of Woe and stomps away before nailing a running clothesline. An enziguri puts Gunn down and JR reads house show ads to ignore another boring match. Gunn grabs a quick DDT and drops a top rope legdrop for the pin as Sunny is shown in a robe, promising undercover work on Shotgun Saturday Night.
Mankind talks about his mommy and hits himself in the head. The Undertaker thinks he knows him but he’s about to know him even better. He goes on to talk about taking a bite out of a bad apple but we cut to a commercial.
Goldust vs. Tim McNeedy
HHH and Chyna are on the stage to distract Goldust but it really doesn’t work. Goldust hits a running clothesline, sends McNeedy into the corner and nails the Curtin Call for the fast pin.
HHH and Chyna come to the ring but Marlena comes out and jumps on Chyna’s back to a really big reaction. Referees break it up but Chyna shoves them all away with ease and throws one onto the rest.
It’s time for the debate between Lawler and Dangerously with Ross moderating. Jerry goes first and asks why ECW exists. This is the biggest exposure they’ve ever had because they’re a bunch of misfits and thugs, who happen to be surrounding the ring. Dangerously is comically leaning over the podium as Lawler rips on ECW’s obsession with violence as the Eliminators, Taz and the Dudleys look on.
Jerry calls the ECW fans idiots with Honky Tonk Man agreeing. Lawler says ECW couldn’t get a crowd in a big arena in Philadelphia, even though he gets the name of the big arena wrong. Dangerously goes on one of his patented rants about how ECW is about busting themselves to earn the fans’ respect and give them their money’s worth. Cue Sandman, Dreamer and Beaulah with Sandman saying he’s ready to cane Lawler right now.
Lawler says there are four million people watching this but Dangerously is bragging about getting 1100 people. “You can get 1100 people to watch paint dry.” Unless you’re TNA in New York City more than once a week right? They start shouting at each other with Dangerously saying he’s proud of hardcore, so Lawler implies Paul is gay.
Dreamer is ready to fight and the rest of the ECW guys get in the ring. Jerry calls out his friends…..and no one shows up. Lawler is allowed to leave as this segment comes to a strange close. I’m really not sure who I’m supposed to cheer for here as Lawler was in full on heel mode here but he was defending the WWF. This was much more about setting up Lawler actually appearing in the ECW Arena a few months later and then fighting Dreamer on pay per view in August. It was WAY different than anything else they were doing at the time and pretty entertaining but this would be like running an angle with ROH back in 2005.
Mankind/Vader vs. Undertaker/Sycho Sid
Sid has to go it alone before Undertaker comes to the ring. After nearly a minute of double teaming, Undertaker comes out to no music and cleans house, hitting a chokeslam on Vader. Of note here, they made sure to cut the camera angle to a lower shot so you couldn’t see Undertaker not getting him that high off the ground. Little things like that are what keeps starts looking special instead of making everything as realistic as possible and causing people to look human.
Vader and Sid officially get going with Vader in control off a series of headbutts and a big clothesline. A splash gets two on the champ and we hit the chinlock. It’s a LONG one too with Vader holding onto Sid for over two minutes and goes into a break. Back with Sid suplexing Vader but Undertaker is fighting Mankind on the floor instead of taking the tag.
Mankind comes in and drops an elbow but Sid crawls over and makes the tag a few seconds later. Well that missed tag was pretty worthless. A chokeslam gets two on Mankind as Sid and Vader fight on the floor. Sid hits his partner by mistake and the champ gets chokeslammed, setting up a modified Taker Dive, only to have Sid lay Undertaker out with a powerbomb, giving Vader the pin.
Rating: D. The chinlock just killed this match and it never had the chance to recover. Not that it mattered though as this was much more about angle advancement than the match itself. Undertaker was starting to get ticked off near the end there and angry Taker breaking stuff is all kinds of fun. Also, I had forgotten the Taker Dive had debuted at least six months before Ground Zero.
Sid breaks up a post match Vader Bomb and Undertaker beats up Vader for a bit.
Bret promises to win the title to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. This is a case where the good is REALLY good but the bad is horrible. It was clear that they had no interest in the midcard at this point other than maybe HHH vs. Goldust, because other than the main event and Austin vs. Hart, almost none of the wrestling stuff was worth a thing. Lawler vs. ECW was more about ECW than anything else, but it was really cool stuff to see back in the day. The core is here though and once they fill in the details, this company is going to blow Nitro out of the water.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book on the History of Saturday Night’s Main Event at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – January 26, 2015: Episode IV: A New Hope
Monday Night Raw Date: January 26, 2015
Location: WWE Studios, Stamford, Connecticut
Hosts: Michael Cole, Booker T., John Bradshaw Layfield
This is going to be a special edition of the show as there won’t be any new matches. Due to a very strong blizzard in the northeast, tonight’s show was canceled and tomorrow’s Smackdown has been postponed to a live show on Thursday night. I’d expect a lot of highlights and taped matches on this show so let’s get to it.
We open with a look at the blizzard to explain why things are a bit different tonight.
Opening sequence.
Cole and Booker T. talk about what’s coming, including last night’s World Title match and the Royal Rumble in their entirety and an interview with Brock Lesnar.
JBL is on the roof of WWE Headquarters as the weatherman for the evening. He gets in a funny line about Sasquatches found frozen in ice dying warmer than he is right now. Points for a decent idea at least.
First up is last night’s World Title match. Since I already did the play by play for this show last night, I’ll be copying over the full version from last night, even though it may be clipped on this broadcast.
WWE World Heavyweight Title: Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Lesnar is defending and we get big match intros. Rollins immediately bails to the floor and Lesnar hits the first German suplex on Cena. There’s the second German as Rollins comes in, only to get caught on Brock’s shoulders. The Stooges make the save so Brock suplexes them at the same time. Brock launches Seth back into the ring and Germans Cena again. All Lesnar so far.
Both challengers are easily suplexed again and there’s the Kimura to Cena. Brock even climbs onto Cena but Seth makes the save with the springboard knee to the head and Lesnar is in trouble. A double suplex puts Lesnar down and there’s an AA but Rollins throws Cena to the floor and only gets one on the champ. Both challengers are thrown to the floor and you can see everyone laying as Brock walks around the ring. Seth knocks Brock into the steps for a breather, leaving Cena to beat Rollins up inside.
The fans absolutely hate Cena and are thrilled to have Brock break up the Shuffle with rolling Germans. Rollins breaks it up for some reason though and knees Lesnar out to the floor. Now it’s Cena getting all fired up and cleaning house, only to have Rollins knock him outside. Seth tries a springboard onto Lesna but gets caught on Brock’s shoulders for an F5. John has to make a save so Brock feels the need to throw him down with another German suplex.
That’s not enough for Brock though as he loads up the announcers’ table (and destroys a monitor), only to walk into the AA. Brock doesn’t even stay down so Cena hits another, only to have Lesnar pop up again. A third AA gets two as Rollins makes the save, followed by the Curb Stomp for two with Cena making a save. Now the fans are impressed. Lesnar throws them both down again and goes outside, only to have Cena follow him out and spear the champ through the barricade.
Cena slams him hard into the steps and blasts him in the face with the same steps, knocking the champ onto the announcers’ table. Seth kicks Cena down and goes up for a top rope elbow through the table to put everyone down. That was one heck of a crash as the war continues. Back in and Rollins hits the low superkick for two on Cena but John grabs a popup sitout powerbomb for the same. Lesnar is receiving medical attention as Rollins counters a superplex attempt into the running buckle bomb for two.
Everyone is down again but Cena grabs the STF, only to have the Stooges come in for the save. Rollins plays Reigns in a Triple Bomb as a stretcher comes out for Lesnar. Cena kicks out at two so Rollins grabs the briefcase, only to miss the charge and fly out to the floor. The Stooges take a double AA and Rollins gets the single version but kicks out at two. We cut back to Lesnar who says he wants to stay out here. Cole says Lesnar has at least a broken rib. Rollins enziguris Cena down and the Curb Stomp connects for another near fall.
Rollins busts out a Phoenix Splash but Lesnar CHARGES back in for some German suplexes as Beast Mode is on. Seth flips out of a German though and knocks Lesnar silly with the briefcase, only to have Lesnar pop up with an F5 to counter the Curb Stomp onto the briefcase to retain the title at 22:45.
Rating: A. If there’s one thing WWE can do like no one else, it’s organized carnage. These guys DESTROYED each other for twenty two minutes and I would have believed anyone could have won at any time. Lesnar going into that other level is absolutely terrifying and you believe he could beat anyone at that point. Great stuff here and well worth going out of your way to see. They’re making Lesnar out to be unstoppable, meaning whoever gets to take the title off of him will be a huge star. You might even say they’ll be Reign(s)ing. And yes that was as stupid as it sounded.
This Thursday, Daniel Bryan vs. Kane in a casket match on Smackdown.
Seth Rollins is live in studio for an exclusive interview. Rollins says he deserved to be in the title match at the Rumble because of his skills, not because he brought back the Authority. He did everything he was supposed to do to win the title, including Curb Stomping Lesnar. It’s put him down before, but it didn’t work last night.
The springboard elbow and Phoenix Splash should have won and Rollins was surprised that they didn’t. Rollins even admits that he underestimated Lesnar last night, but Lesnar underestimated him as well. Lesnar may be the World Champion, but he doesn’t have a Plan B. Brock will be here next, and Rollins says he can come take this chair from him. It’s not often that you hear someone admit their best wasn’t good enough and this came off more like a face interview than anything else. I don’t think it’s a turn or anything but we’ll call it shades of gray.
After a break, Lesnar comes up to the interview set and says Rollins has his chair. Rollins gets up and shoves the chair down before walking away. Brock sits down and confirms that he has a broken rib but it was time for him to win last night and that’s what he did. Heyman says they’re not at odds with the Authority because Lesnar is going to be headlining the biggest show of the year. If the Authority has a problem with someone, Brock Lesnar will be there to take them out as long as the Authority pays him what he’s worth.
We look at a clip of Brock breaking the Streak and Lesnar says he won the match due to overcoming and conquering everything in his path, just like he has everything else. After that totally obvious piece of filler, Brock says he’s happy for Reigns and hopes he’s up for the challenge, because the champ is ready. When a steamroller has momentum going, get out of his way. Heyman says Reigns can’t stop Lesnar. “Anything else?” Cole says Reigns will be here later tonight and Lesnar thinks he might stick around.
Lesnar vs. Reigns already sounds better. Not due to anything here as this was nothing special, but because it’s not in the really boring Royal Rumble. I really do think that has more to do with it than anything else. When you get down to just Lesnar vs. Reigns as two monsters clashing, a lot of that hatred is going away and people will calm WAY down over it. Just thinking that it’s Reigns vs. Lesnar at Wrestlemania and forgetting last night makes it feel a lot less annoying and dreadful. That’s a big step forward.
Royal Rumble
90 second intervals and it’s Miz at #1 and R-Truth at #2. The fans immediately want Mizdow but get a headlock from R-Truth instead. Feeling out process to start until Truth gets crotched on top. In at #3 is BUBBA RAY DUDLEY, complete with taped up glasses. It’s Miz getting the big beating and the wind-up elbow has Miz reeling. Truth (appropriately) helps with What’s Up and is even told to get the tables. You know the Philadelphia crowd is up for that. Miz gets back up and eats 3D, allowing Bubba to easily eliminate him.
Luke Harper is in at #4 as Bubba throws out Truth. They immediately start hammering on each other and Harper fights out of the Bubba Bomb before kicking Bubba in the jaw. A big lariat puts Harper down though and the ECW chants revive Dudley. Bray Wyatt is in at #5, complete with lantern. Bubba stares him down but Harper gives us a Wyatt Family reunion as the fans want D-Von. Harper throws Bubba out and it’s time for the big staredown.
They stand in place until Curtis Axel is in at #6 but Erick Rowan (who didn’t qualify for the Rumble) jumps him from behind though and whips him into the barricade, apparently stealing Axel’s spot. Harper looks at Rowan and wants a team up, much to Bray’s excitement. Bray and Harper join forces though and Rowan gets double teamed, only to have Bray dump both of them out to clear the ring.
The Boogeyman returns at #7 and Cole informs us that the guy coming out to I’M THE BOOGEYMAN is in fact named the Boogeyman. Bray smiles at him and stops a charge with a big clothesline, setting up the easy elimination. Sin Cara is in at #8 and Cole sounds bored out of his mind. Cara gets in a kick from the apron but Bray just decks him with a right hand. Sister Abigail connects and Bray is all alone again a few seconds later.
Bray grabs the mic and issues an open invitation because he has the whole world in his hands. Zack Ryder returns at #9, hits the Broski Boot, and is quickly Bray’s fifth elimination. Daniel Bryan is in at #10 to really pick things up. He immediately starts the kicks and has Bray in trouble in the corner. Even more kicks put him down as Fandango is in at #11. Bryan busts out even more kicks and an old school airplane spin but doesn’t throw Fandango out.
Tyson Kidd (complete with his addictive theme song) is in at #12 to slug it out with Bryan before a double cross body puts both guys down. Stardust is in at #13 as we’re firmly in the midcard portion. Cole says this is Stardust’s first Rumble to split a few hairs. We currently have Wyatt, Bryan, Stardust, Fandango and Kidd in the ring. Stardust and Fandango trade skinning the cat saves before Bryan belly to back suplexes Kidd out.
Bray gets knocked through the middle rope and Bryan follows with the Flying Goat, meaning both guys are still in as Diamond Dallas Page is in at #14. Stardust jumps him upon entry but eats a Diamond Cutter. Fandango takes the middle rope version, followed by Wyatt missing a charge and taking one of his own. Rusev is in at #15 and it’s time to clear out some space. He blocks a Diamond Cutter and dumps Page and Fandango, setting up a showdown between Rusev and Wyatt.
Daniel breaks it up with a top rope dropkick and unleashes more kicks, only to have Bray pop up and dump him out far earlier than I was expecting. Goldust is in at #16 as the crowd is just dead. Stardust tries to throw out Goldust (with Cole mentioning that Goldust was eliminated by his brother last year, despite saying Stardust was in his first Rumble. Like I said, splitting hairs) but Goldust saves himself. The fans start chanting for Bryan and them switch to booing.
Kofi Kingston is in at #17, giving us Kingston, Goldust, Stardust, Rusev and Wyatt. Bray catapults him over the top but Kofi skins the cat and comes back in with a springboard shot to the head. Everyone gets into one corner until Adam Rose is in at #18. You can hear every word of the songs now as the crowd just does not care at the moment. Kofi is thrown out but the Rosebuds catch him and walk him back to the apron. Rusev dumps Rose and Kofi a few seconds later and Roman Reigns is in at #19 to a lot less booing than I was expecting.
Roman starts cleaning house and dumps both Dust Brothers, only to get double teamed by Rusev and Wyatt. Big E. is in at #20 to clean house and give us a very powerful foursome of Big E., Rusev, Wyatt and Reigns. Mizdow is in at #21 but Miz runs out to say it’s his spot. Damien finally stands up to Miz and goes in to a good reaction, only to be dumped by Rusev. Jack Swagger is in at #22 and everyone keeps brawling until Ryback is in at #23.
Ryback busts out everyone with spinebusters as JBL incorrectly says Lex Luger is the only man to win the Rumble but never win the WWE Title (Duggan). The fans chant for CM Punk but get Kane at #24, giving us Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Big E., Swagger, Ryback and Kane. Dean Ambrose wakes the crowd up again at #25 and goes right for Wyatt. We get more brawling around the ropes until Titus O’Neil is in at #26 and is dumped in about thirty seconds (counting intro) by Reigns and Rusev.
Ambrose dropkicks Wyatt up against the ropes and Bad News Barrett gets lucky #27. The ring is getting full but no one is in any real danger of being eliminated. Cesaro is in at #28 and joins the fray. Rusev sends Big E. to the apron and then kicks him out to clear the ring a bit. Big Show is in at #29 and everyone stops to stare him down. They all gang up on him but Show shoves everyone down as Kane chokeslams Ambrose. Show does the same to Reigns before the monsters dump Ryback with ease.
Swagger is dumped by the power team as well, tying Kane for the all time record at 39 eliminations. Dolph Ziggler is in at #30, giving us a final group of Wyatt, Rusev, Reigns, Kane, Ambrose, Barrett, Cesaro, Big Show and Ziggler. Dolph has to fight out of the chokeslam from Big Show and dumps Barrett. Cesaro swings Dolph around and gets him to the apron, only to be pulled out for the elimination. Ziggler goes up top and dives right into the KO Punch, allowing Kane and Show to easily dump him, giving Kane the all time eliminations record.
Big Show KO’s Wyatt and dumps him as well, leaving us with Ambrose, Reigns, Big Show and Kane as the final four. Reigns is bleeding from the side of the mouth as the brawl is on. The Shield fights out of a double chokeslam but Ambrose’s rebound clothesline has almost no effect on Show. Reigns knocks Show down and the fans just are not happy. Big Show and Kane double team Roman though before a chokeslam is enough to get rid of Ambrose.
So it’s Kane and Big Show vs. Reigns and the fans are LIVID. Reigns gets sent to the apron but Show tries to dump Kane, triggering a fight that has been going on for over fifteen years now. Reigns sneaks up from behind them and eliminates both guys to go to Wrestlemania at 57:23.
Rating: D+. I’m surprised by this but I really shouldn’t be. They actually went with Reigns vs. the giants to end the Royal Rumble? This match felt like a big tease from the company as they were setting up Wyatt, Cesaro, Rusev, Ambrose and Ziggler for this big showdown but then snatched it away to go with Kane and Big Show as the big monsters. That’s really what they think is the smart idea? And you know we’re getting Reigns vs. Big Show at Fast Lane, probably without Big Show doing a job for him because he doesn’t get pinned you see.
As for the rest of the match…..yeah I liked it, but man alive it was obvious where they were going with about twenty minutes to go. Bryan going out that early is a waste, though I’m fine with him not winning it. He had his big moment last year and it would be foolish to try and recreate it. Bryan can get the title later on in his other big moment and that’s all he needs to do.
The returns were fine but there was no big surprise at the end (that’s fine), and Reigns was just so obvious as a winner. Also, the commentary was getting REALLY annoying with all their stats, some of which just didn’t make sense. I didn’t hate this match, but Reigns is getting wedged into a spot he’s just not ready for whatsoever. Wrestlemania better have an amazing undercard, because Reigns vs. Lesnar is not going to cut it on top.
Post match Kane and Big Show destroy Reigns until The Rock makes a surprise run in for the save. House is cleaned but Rusev is back in! He was never officially elimianted…..so Reigns throws him out to officially win about three minutes after he won in the first place. Again, more teasing.
The Authority comes out as Rock poses with Reigns before letting Reigns point at the sign to end the show.
Reigns is in the studio for a live interview. After a quick question about how amazing last night was, Byron Saxton asks him what he thinks when people say he isn’t ready. Reigns tells a story of his father Sika throwing him in the pool at the YMCA when he wasn’t ready. When he went under, he scratched and clawed his way up and that’s how he learned how to swim, even though he wasn’t ready. As for the crowd last night, yeah he was hoping for a warmer reception but those people paid their money and can say what they want.
Reigns doesn’t know if he’s been handpicked as the next guy, but if he has, it’s an opportunity. He has to lace up his boots and get in that ring by himself to grasp the opportunity. After the match last night, the Rock came down to help him because Rock is family. Reigns hasn’t mentioned that Rock is his family too often but now he goes into the Samoan family tree. The WWE put food on his table when he was a kid and now he wants to thank them by meeting Brock Lesnar face to face both at Wrestlemania, but here tonight.
This was a good performance from Reigns as he sounded FAR more natural here and you could tell he wasn’t reading from a cheesy script. It’s interesting that they’re addressing all the big questions being asked about him instead of just going with whatever lame story they had. I’m not saying it’s going to save things but it’s more interesting than what it sounded like we were getting.
From last night on the post show, Cena was doing an interview when Rusev charged in and took the microphone from him. They got in each other’s faces and the match is on for Fast Lane. Cole acknowledges that it was going to be at Wrestlemania but they’re moving it up.
We look back at Sting returning to help Cena win the main event last week. HHH will call out Sting at Fast Lane.
We get the announcement for the latest inductee into the Hall of Fame: Arnold Schwarzenegger. Some wrestlers do some Arnold impressions. Ryback is actually appropriate as he played a Terminator character in OVW, complete with the Terminator theme as his music.
Dean Ambrose is walking in the snow and comes inside. After a break, Dean is messing with the heater and says it isn’t even that cold here. This morning, he walked through a blizzard and hitchhiked all the way here, got in a fight on a gas station, stole some hiking boots and got here. It’s not unlike the Road to Wrestlemania because he loves dangerous conditions. No matter who or what is in front of him, he’s going to make it to Wrestlemania. He goes off to find out if anyone has any posters of him around here.
The next sitdown interview is with Daniel Bryan, who recaps the start of the YES Movement and his rise to the top of the company, followed by being put out of action by Kane. He feels like he let down the fans because they had supported him to get where he was. It feels like he has to win the title again, just for the people. As for being eliminated early last night, he went into the match thinking that it was the perfect opportunity to go to face the ultimate dragon and get his title back.
But he failed and Reigns rose up and made the most of the situation. Now Bryan never had WWE feed him as a kid but he’s sure Reigns can have a great match at Wrestlemania and do the company proud. He’s going to end Kane in the casket match on Thursday and move on to become champion. This was definitely the weakest of the interviews so far, mainly because Bryan vs. Kane again interests absolutely no one.
Reigns and Lesnar have their big sitdown meeting but Heyman takes over the questions. He’s known Reigns’ family longer than Reigns has known them, all the way back to when he (Heyman) was a kid. He took Yokozuna’s first publicity pictures and managed Rikishi before he was Rikishi, and saw Rikishi’s kids, now known as the Usos, messing around in the ring before a WCW show. Heyman knew Reigns as a boy in Pensacola when his father was wrestling down there.
Paul also knows the Rock, but more importantly, the Rock knows Brock Lesnar. Back in 2002, the Rock ruled the roost around here, but then he met Brock Lesnar. Now Reigns wants to be the next big thing, just like Lesnar was back in 2002. However, that’s not going to happen. The Rock never asked for a rematch with Brock Lesnar because just one match was enough for him. That’s what Rock never told Reigns, because he doesn’t want Reigns to know the truth. Lesnar is the 1 in 21-1, so how is Roman going to handle disappointing his family when he loses at Wrestlemania because he can’t beat Brock?
Reigns stares Heyman down and says he’ll answer that to Brock’s face. He turns to face the champ and says he knows what he signed up for, but Brock doesn’t know what he signed up for. Roman is going to take the title at Wrestlemania, but if he can’t, he’s going to take a piece of Lesnar with him. Lesnar gets right in his face and Reigns stands up. They shake hands and Brock says unlike Heyman, he doesn’t respect Reigns. Roman: “But you will.”
Overall Rating: B. This was exactly the kind of show WWE needed after last night. One of the biggest problems with WWE is they have the most scripted, stuck in a rut feeling to them. Instead, this felt completely different and allowed them to slow down rather than cramming everything into three hours with all the WACKY COMEDY and twenty minute promos all over the place. This show was far more entertaining than I was expecting and gave me new hope for the future.
The Lesnar vs. Reigns stuff was absolutely mind blowing with both guys more than holding their own under Heyman’s masterful direction. Reigns kept this simple and sounded like a gladiator with short lines instead of doing all the scripted nonsense. A simple story about learning to swim made me care about him more than a year and a half of Shield matches. Overall, this was a great show and exactly what WWE needed. It’s also amazing how much better last night’s results feel when you get away from the dull Rumble. That’s a great sign for the future.
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