Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: November 17, 2014
I know I’m running late with this but you try putting out a book and having a bad sinus infection and see if you can write about a show featuring a grumpy cat. Anyway, this was the go home show for Survivor Series and the big question was how would the teams look going into the only match that matters on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
The show opened, naturally, with the Authority. Trips and Steph went on a rampage about WCW and how this is all they have and all that jazz. They recruited Ryback, showed him clips of Cena insulting him last year, and were told that Ryback is on his own. Somehow, this again took about twenty minutes. That’s one of the most annoying things about WWE anymore: these opening segments that you could cover in half the time. I would ask why that’s so hard, but it’s because HHH talks slower than a turtle and Stephanie goes on forever with the same bad acting over and over.
Immediately after the promo that would not die, Harper beat Ziggler to win the Intercontinental Title. This made the most sense as there’s almost no way that Ziggler can have all those matches against big names and not eventually drop the title. It’s even better that they had Rollins attack Ziggler before the match so it wasn’t even a clean loss. That’s what I’m talking about by protecting someone and they did it well with Ziggler.
Miz and Mizdow spent most of the night talking to the Grumpy Cat. Thankfully they kept this short but it was still stupid.
The Bunny cost Adam Rose another match, so the hopping enthusiast….uh…..shall we say, simulated something by thrusting his hips behind Rose. Again, it was stupid.
Bray Wyatt and Dean Ambrose said the same things about Dean’s father being in jail and Ambrose growing up alone. Bray can cast out the demons, so Ambrose came down and beat him up. Standard build but I’d like them to actually go somewhere with these interesting ideas.
Larry the Cable Guy is guest hosting next week due to being in the latest WWE movie that almost no one will see.
Ryback beat Cesaro in a good power match. This is the standard idea of “let’s let two guys who are really strong hit each other really hard” and as usual, it worked well.
Lana teased us with a topless photo ala Kim Kardashian which wound up being of Vladimir Putin. Heath Slater came out dressed like Apollo Creed from Rocky and got beaten up faster than I expected him too.
Big Show and Stephanie had another of their stupid arguments until Sheamus came out. Stephanie made a match between them for a shot at the World Title, but the Authority came in for the DQ. Yeah it was a DQ because they hit Sheamus first, and Heaven forbid they just hit both guys at the same time. Of course it was called a no contest because that’s the planned ending, despite whatever actually happened. The match itself was ok with Sheamus showing off his freakish strength but there might as well have been a big countdown clock until the obvious finish. Sheamus was beaten down and apparently injured.
Nikki Bella had Brie dress up as AJ for an exhibition. The real AJ’s distraction let Brie get a rollup pin while looking better than she usually does.
Cena gave Ryback a pep talk to try and get him to join.
The four teams in Sunday’s fourway had a bad eight man tag. This was exactly what it sounds like.
The big closing segment was Cena confronting Team Authority for a contract signing. Cena signed and then talked about how he’s going to take out every single member in a row. This went on WAY too long until Big Show and Ziggler came out to fight with him. Erick Rowan of all people came out to back them up and Cena was fine with it.
I can live with this as while Rowan was in a war with Cena earlier this year, Cena is going to take whoever he can get at this point. It’s a stretch but it worked. Cesaro came out as well but sided with the Authority in a nice bit of trolling. Ryback came out as the real fifth man and Team Cena dominated to end the show.
Overall, again, Raw was all about a single idea. It’s annoying but it’s all they’re focusing on for Sunday. I’m so sick of hearing about this match though and Sunday can’t get here soon enough. Ryback being the focus is interesting, but I have little confidence in WWE to actually pull the trigger on him in any way.
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Monday Night Raw – November 17, 2014: 18 Men On A Free PPV. Yo Ho Ho And A Grumpy Cat
Monday Night Raw Date: November 17, 2014
Location: Berglund Center Coliseum, Roanoke, Virginia
Commentators: John Bradshaw Layfield, Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
We’re back stateside now for the go home show for Survivor Series. The big story tonight is a contract signing for the main event where we’re most likely to find out who the final members of each team are going to be. More importantly than that though, we have the Grumpy Cat here tonight because there’s an untapped audience between Lifetime and WWE. Or something. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s Survivor Series partner shuffle.
Here’s the Authority, including Harper, to open things up. HHH brings up Vince making the rules for the Survivor Series in case we hadn’t heard about it in the last few weeks. HHH doesn’t care for the idea of being the employee of someone like the people in the audience. Instead he’s supposed to be someone like Vince McMahon, running the evil empire.
These people would rather have the inmates like Cena and Ziggler running the asylum. The last place that let the inmates run the asylum was WCW and that will NEVER happen in WWE. HHH looks at the team and says they can’t lose while plugging the Network. Stephanie thinks Team Cena should work on being together. HHH says Team Cena will be decimated before the contract signing at the end of the night.
The wife runs through the team again and says Team Cena is down a member. That brings her to Ryback but the Big Guy cuts them off. Ryback says the Authority wants what’s best for business, Cena wants what’s best for the people but Ryback wants what’s best for him. Stephanie gets that idea and brings up respect. It’s clear that Cena doesn’t respect Ryback so why does he want to join the team?
She throws us a clip from Superstars last year where Cena said Ryback had no brains or testicular fortitude. Then a clip from Raw where Cena mocked his way of speaking. Back live, Stephanie suggests that Cena is jealous of Ryback and absolutely hates him. She asks if he wants to team with someone like Cena, but Ryback says he’s his own team and leaves. HHH says that’s a good idea and makes Ziggler vs. Harper right now.
Intercontinental Title: Luke Harper vs. Dolph Ziggler
After a break this is now a title match. During the Big Match Intros, the Stooges come in to jump Ziggler and a briefcase shot from Rollins knocks him cold. Ziggler is holding his head on the mat but says ring the bell. The bell rings and Luke kicks him in the head for two. A Batista Bomb gets the same but Luke misses a big boot in the corner and falls out to the floor as we take another break.
Back with Ziggler escaping a vertical suplex but getting popped in the jaw for two. There’s the Gator Roll and we hit a chinlock. Ziggler fights up and nails a Fameasser for two but Harper counters the superkick into a sitout Boss Man Slam for another near fall. Luke charges into the superkick for two more but comes back with the discus lariat for the pin and the title at 8:33.
Rating: C. Harper’s hard hitting offense continues to look awesome and it’s a good sign that he’s finally getting a singles push of his own. I can’t imagine him ever becoming a huge star but the Intercontinental Title is a good start. They almost had to take the belt off Ziggler after all the stuff they’ve thrown at him and this is the best option out of all the Authority members. Ziggler is even protected a bit because of the pre-match attack.
Ziggler takes a Curb Stomp post match.
The announcers plug the free PPV.
Kofi Kingston New Day video.
Miz and Mizdow pitch a movie idea to the Grumpy Cat. They even have a grumpy stuntcat. The Cat doesn’t care and Miz storms off, only to come back and apologize. One of these men used to be an intellectual savior to the masses people.
Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd
The Bunny does Rose’s fall onto the Rosebuds to make Adam even angrier. JBL seems annoyed by the suggestion that the Bunny is a man in a costume. Kidd hammers away to start but walks into a spinebuster for two. The Bunny hits on Natalya, allowing Tyson to slap on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:00.
Post match the Bunny goes after Adam and thrusts his hips behind Rose. Just go with it.
Video of Wrestlemania tickets going on sale.
Bray Wyatt is here and after a break he’s in the ring to talk about the lies he’s been told about money buying happiness. He’s been told that a man like Dean Ambrose can buy happiness but Dean is going to be alone day after day. Bray hopes that Dean doesn’t mistake his generosity for something malignant. Yeah Bray did something to get Dean’s attention, but now he comes in peace. That momentary suffering was a gift though because Bray knows the pain Dean is going through.
His mother drowned herself in her own misery and his father left him in a lifetime of isolation. Wyatt says he can save him but Dean pops up on screen. He calls Bray’s ramblings nails on a chalkboard, but he’s been trying to see things Bray’s way. Maybe he can learn something from Bray. He’s already learned a magic trick called video recording, because he’s in the arena right now. The lights come on and Ambrose hammers on Bray, sending him running up the ramp. At Survivor Series, Bray needs to worry about saving himself.
We recap the title change and hear that Ziggler has been taken to a hospital.
Larry the Cable Guy is hosting Raw next week because WWE thinks it’s 2006.
Ryback vs. Cesaro
Ryback powers him into the corner to start and chops away but Cesaro takes him down with a quick suplex. Ryback shrugs it off and hits a delayed suplex of his own. The Thesz press and head slams have Ryback in trouble but Cesaro powerbombs him out of the corner to take over. We hit the chinlock for a bit on Ryback before a slam and kick to the head get two. Back up and Ryback gets clotheslined out to the floor as we take a break.
We come back with Ryback fighting out of a chinlock and catching Cesaro with a belly to belly suplex. Cesaro bails to the apron to avoid the Meat Hook but gets thrown right back in. The middle rope splash connects and a powerbomb out of the corner gets two for Ryback. Shell Shock is countered into rolling Germans for two and Cesaro goes up top.
A big elbow drop gets two more but Ryback pops up with a powerslam for two of his own. The Meat Hook is countered with the uppercut and Swiss Death gets an even closer two. The Neutralizer is countered into a Shell Shock attempt which is countered into a rollup for two more. Not that it matters as the Meat Hook sets up the Shell Shock for the pin at 14:16.
Rating: B. While it’s not as good as the announcers made it out to be, this was one heck of a power match with some solid near falls. Ryback is able to have a decent match if he’s given the right circumstances and someone like Cesaro is a good opponent for him. I wouldn’t mind seeing Cesaro win a bit more often but you can’t have Ryback lose this early in his return.
Cena hopes he sees all of his team members at the contract signing tonight. Ryback doesn’t seem to be part of those plans though.
Here are Rusev and Lana with something to say. Lana brings up Putin being disrespected at the G20 Summit but stops to say SHUT UP a lot. This past week, America drooled over the queen of social media Kim Kardashian, even though no American can compare to Lana. She has a topless photo of her own to show us, but of course it’s of Putin on a horse. This brings out……Heath Slater dressed as Uncle Sam. Like the rest of America, Slater wants Lana to shut up. The spirit of America flows through all of us, including this country boy right here.
Rusev vs. Heath Slater
Superkick, Accolade, 36 seconds.
Miz pitches a buddy comedy to Grumpy Cat. Erick Rowan comes up saying here kitty kitty. He wants the cat, meaning the stuffed one Mizdow is holding. Everyone stands around looking confused. JBL: “…..ok?”
Big Show comes out for a match but gets interrupted by Stephanie’s horrible music. She talks about watching the Monday Night War and seeing Big Show billed as Andre the Giant’s son. Big Show has always been in someone’s shadow, even though he just wants to be in the main event. The people can’t fix that but the Authority can. Thankfully they don’t offer him the usual but instead suggest that he could enter the Hall of Fame next year.
Big Show says no but here’s Sheamus to interrupt. He’s glad to be on Team Cena and will love to only see HHH and Stephanie when they buy tickets. Stephanie laughs because there was an issue with Sheamus’ passport and he’s in danger of being deported. Not that it matters though as Sheamus vs. Big Show are fighting right now. The winner will have a chance to win the World Title at some point in the future.
Big Show vs. Sheamus
They shove each other around to start and Big Show nails some chops in the corner. Sheamus gets thrown to the floor and then over the barricade as we take a break. Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chokeslam attempt by hitting the ten forearms to a kneeling Big Show. A kick to the face and knee drop get two on the giant but he blocks a slam and comes back with some of his own. Show puts on a Haas of Pain but Sheamus is right next to the ropes.
The pale one starts his comeback with an ax handle and avoids a legdrop. He loads up the top rope shoulder but gets speared out of the air for a close two. White Noise (that’s always cool to see on Big Show) and a chokeslam get two each. Show loads up the Vader Bomb but gets caught in an electric chair to put both guys down. Cue Rusev and Henry for the no contest (even though Rusev hit Sheamus first so it should be a DQ but rules that have been the same throughout wrestling history don’t count when writers don’t need them to count) at 11:08.
Rating: C-. This was the usual decent power match between these two but you could see the ending coming the entire way. As soon as they said the winner gets a title shot you knew no one was getting their hand raised for this match. That ending gets on my nerves though as Sheamus should have won via DQ because just having Henry and Rusev get in at the same time was too complicated.
Rusev Accoldes Big Show as Sheamus takes the World’s Strongest Slam through the table.
Nikki Bella vs. Brie Bella
Brie is dressed like AJ and this is an exhibition match. The real AJ comes out to watch but Nikki needs to warm up first. Some backbreakers have Brie in trouble but she finally gets annoyed and shoves Nikki away. That earns her some slaps to the head before Nikki loads up the Rack Attack. AJ gets on the apron, allowing Brie to grab a rollup pin at 2:06.
Nikki goes after Brie post match but AJ makes the save. Brie starts a YES chant and gets beaten up by the champ. I have no idea why this was an exhibition match.
Big E.’s New Day video.
Cena tries to get Ryback again but he isn’t happy with those insults. John apologizes for the comments and says if Ryback helps, the Authority is gone. Ryback says he’s Team Ryback and asks Cena to leave. Cena calls him selfish and thinks Ryback doesn’t want to take a risk.
We recap Ambrose and Wyatt from earlier.
Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow vs. Usos/Los Matadores
Setting up this Sunday’s four way tag. Diego stops Miz early on for OLE before putting him across the middle rope for a running crotch attack. The fans want a tag to Mizdow but get Goldust instead, only to have Diego fire off some chops in the corner. Los Matadores hit a double hiptoss to Miz, sending him rolling out to the floor. Mizdow comes in and flips himself over before rolling outside as well. Los Matadores dive onto Goldust/Stardust and Torito dives on the actors as we take a break.
Back with Goldust sending Fernando shoulder first into the post. Stardust comes in for a double stomp as the fans STILL want Mizdow. Instead they get an armbar from Stardust so the fans chant for JBL. Back to Miz for a chinlock before Goldust comes in to work on the arm. Mizdow holds out his arm and Goldust is ready to bring him in but Stardust steals the tag instead. Back to Miz who FINALLY tags in Mizdow, only to tag himself back in a few seconds later.
Fernando kicks Miz out to the floor as Jerry says Drew Carrey is in Dumb and Dumber. Fernando tags in Jimmy but Jey tags himself in as the Usos clean house. The double dive takes down some heels until it’s Jimmy hitting a release Samoan drop on Stardust. The Rikishi attack connects but Jimmy charges into a Goldust powerslam. We start the parade of finishers and Jimmy superkicks Diego by mistake before walking into Dark Matter for the pin at 11:48.
Rating: D+. The match was dull but it’s interesting to see that they’re setting up Mizdow’s face turn when he finally gets tired of never getting the spotlight. The fans are buying into it too and everything works. Unfortunately this match has no heat as we head into the show because the main event has swallowed the whole thing.
The Cat is not pleased.
Sheamus has been taken to the hospital and is out of Survivor Series.
After Raw, you can see a preview of the new Randy Savage DVD on the Network.
Here’s the Authority for the contract signing. HHH says Cena is going to come out here and talk about how important this business is to him but it’s nothing compared to what it means for the Authority. This is the air they breathe and they will not lose on Sunday. Stephanie invites Team Cena to come out here and here’s John by himself.
Cena says they’ll win but Stephanie laughs it off and asks what army is going to help him. She tells him to wake up but Cena says don’t get used to giving any orders because the Authority is losing on Sunday. All night long there have been underhanded tricks to take out Team Cena, except for one man. He sees what’s going on: they come out here every week and put people to sleep but claim to know what’s best for business.
Cena is going to have a team on Sunday, even if he has to pick four people out of the crowd. John goes outside and walks around, asking if there are four people that can join him Sunday. There’s a man dressed as a nun, a guy with a sailor’s hat and two kids. Those four would have more passion than the Authority and that’s why Cena’s team is going to win. Cena offers us a preview for tonight and sits down in a chair.
Kane is going to be the first and then Luke Harper will fail. He’s from the swamp so he’ll be used to swamping in his pants. Rusev is next and HHH will start sweating through his suit while Stephanie is vomiting. When they wake up they’ll be hungry so Cena can feed them Sexual Chocolate. Cena gets in the ring and says the Golden Boy with a thing for latex will fall last and HHH will be left cleaning toilets. Stephanie slaps Cena and it’s time to fight.
Cena gets ready but Ziggler and Big Show limp out to stand next to John. Lawler: “80% of a team is better than no team at all!” HHH counts the people but here’s….ERICK ROWAN to help balance things out? Stephanie doesn’t know what to do but says there’s still one spot open. She gives Team Cena one last chance to reconsider but here’s Cesaro of all people….to stand with the Authority.
Stephanie asks if there are any more surprises so here’s Ryback and it really is on. Well that makes most of tonight pointless but it makes the most sense. Everyone brawls to the floor until it’s HHH and Ryback in the ring. They stare each other down until Cena comes back in to AA HHH through a table. Team Cena poses to end the show.
Overall Rating: D+. This show was rough and a lot of that is due to how they’re building up Survivor Series. I’m sure they’ll add some stuff the night of the show or maybe on Smackdown, but right now there are four matches announced for Sunday and two of them are taking up 18 names, assuming they don’t get thrown into other matches for some reason.
The problem right now is everything is put in the main event and while it’s a good story, it’s not enough to carry three hours. Tying everything of note up in one match is never a good idea and it’s going to make the rest of the card feel empty. They should have gone with four on four and had at least one other major match for Sunday, but to be fair it is free so it’s going to be hard to care about.
The worst part about it is the main event on Sunday is a well built match. They have a big match and have made it unclear as to who is going to win. However, when that’s what 80% of Raw is about, it’s a very hard show to sit through. Having ten guys in a single match was too much, but maybe they’ll mix things up on Sunday.
This show really didn’t do much for me but it could have been far worse. Thankfully the Grumpy Cat was just there for a few backstage bits, but that begs the question: is it worth bringing him in and paying however much it cost and all the eye rolling from your base to do some quick gags? I could ask the same for next Monday with Larry the Cable Guy (seriously, it’s 2014) but they have enough problems on Sunday already.
Results
Luke Harper b. Dolph Ziggler – Discus lariat
Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter
Ryback b. Cesaro – Shell Shock
Rusev b. Heath Slater – Accolade
Big Show vs. Sheamus went to a no contest when Rusev and Mark Henry interfered
Goldust/Stardust/Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Usos/Los Matadores – Dark Matter to Jimmy
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: November 10, 2014
The main story this week was the revolving door around the Survivor Series main event. They’ve been doing a good job of setting up the people in the match not named John Cena, though I have a feeling HHH is going to wind up in the match somehow. A lot happened this week so let’s get to it.
The opening segment got the ball rolling on the big story of the night. Cena came out and talked about what it would mean to get rid of the Authority and said he had a new team member in Jack Swagger. Other than that though, he wanted to sign the new free agent that is tearing stuff up again: Ryback. The Big Guy came out but the Authority, complete with new team member Mark Henry, interrupted them.
Cena and HHH went at it with HHH taking credit for various wrestlers who have recently been injured, including Bryan and Ryder. Now this is something that I REALLY liked. Here’s the thing: Ryder and Bryan’s injuries had nothing to do with the Authority but they’re taking credit for it anyway. WHY HAVEN’T PEOPLE BEEN DOING THIS FOR YEARS??? It’s such an easy thing to do and makes storylines out of real life issues. Most important of all is we never see them do these things, but it adds a realism to the story by making the Authority seem that much more evil.
The Authority looks evil, Ryder and Bryan serve a purpose while injured, and you might have a story for them when they come back. I have no idea why this hasn’t been done more often over the years. Blurring the line between reality and fiction is a great way to get heat on people and all it boils down to is “these people are the reason you can’t see your favorites. Now I’m going to try to get rid of them. WHO’S WITH ME???” It’s as simple as that.
Anyway, the Authority promised Ryback a bunch of money and opportunities, Cena warned him of the pressure that came with the spot, and Ryback planted Cena with a spinebuster before leaving with the villains. The segment got its job done but as usual went on WAY too long. That’s what dives me crazy about these things: why do we need to take twenty minutes when we can do these things in maybe ten? We didn’t need HHH babbling about everything being on the line for five minutes. We get the idea already so why keep hammering it in with that slow voice of his?
The revolving door of teammates kept going as Seth Rollins Curb Stomped Swagger into oblivion. Swagger looked to have a concussion so Seth Curb Stomped him again, likely putting him out of the PPV. That certainly was a quick way to get rid of a loser like Jack.
Ambrose talked about fighting demons much tougher than Bray Wyatt. I’m not sure why most of this feud is being played out on Smackdown but it gives me something to look forward to on Friday nights.
I’ll cover a lot of segments at once here. Kane told Ryback that he’ll be at ringside for Ryback vs. Cena but Ryback didn’t seem interested. Kane basically told him to watch it and left. The rest of the Authority came in and said various things to Ryback all night, each one getting on his nerves more than the previous one. They weren’t exactly being subtle with where this story was going.
Paige easily beat Alicia Fox for the hometown pop. Nothing wrong with this one.
Stephanie recruited Rusev for Team Authority. Let me get this one out of the way now: GAH! I hated these segments as we’ve had Lana and Rusev shouting down everyone from Henry to Big Show to Sheamus TO THE ROCK, but they cower in fear of Stephanie freaking McMahon? Seriously? Well of course seriously because Stephanie is the most beautiful, intelligent, dominant, talented and intimidating yet caring and charitable woman IN THE WORLD.
Stephanie and HHH were worried about Vince making the decision to put their futures on the line. I’d be more worried about why Cena has nothing on the line.
Rusev had a victory celebration and then a good match with Sheamus. The Stooges came out to help Rusev win by countout, which is supposed to justify the Russians doing whatever Stephanie wants. You know, because they couldn’t beat Sheamus on their own, like Rusev did just a week ago. Lana agreed to put Rusev on the team after the match.
Miz/Mizdow beat Los Matadores in a match without much to talk about.
HHH literally danced in on a meeting between Cena and Ziggler to say Cena can’t be at ringside for Ziggler’s match.
Ziggler beat Mark Henry via DQ when Henry used a chair. This was the HENRY SMASH bit to keep softening Dolph up before the PPV. Big Show came out for the save and is of course part of Team Cena.
Kofi Kingston is part of the New Day with Woods. Just waiting on Big E. now.
Sheamus joined Team Cena as well. Makes sense.
AJ Lee beat Brie Bella in some angle advancement. Nikki beat up AJ after the match.
The Bunny cost Adam Rose a match and got kicked in the gut for his efforts. They better have someone good under that costume.
Wyatt talked about being sin and being able to save Ambrose. He got in a great line with “if God lived on this earth, he’d make oceans to walk on to get away from me.”
Cena and Ryback had a good main event until Kane cost Ryback the match via DQ. Sheamus and Big Show came out and got beaten up but Ryback cleaned house, including the Authority.
Ziggler was thrown into the Authority’s office by Luke Harper, who told HHH and Stephanie that he’s a team player to end the show.
This show was all about furthering the main event and believe it or not they’re doing a great job of making it feel important. The wrestling wasn’t bad and there’s actual stuff happening. That’s one of the major criticisms lately in WWE: nothing has been happening. Now there are actual stories going on, even if they’re not the most interesting in the world. I’m interested in where some of them are going and that’s more than I’ve been able to say for a long time. Good show this week but they need to deliver at Survivor Series.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – November 10, 2014: Keep Calm And Add Team Members
Monday Night Raw Date: November 10, 2014
Location: Echo Arena, Liverpool, England
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
We’re in England for the annual fall tour and the show is taped tonight. The main story for tonight is the “return” of Cena to Raw after missing an entire week. He’ll be facing Ryback, but the important question is who will be added to the Survivor Series teams for the upcoming showdown. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Authority’s issues last week, including Vince putting their power on the line and Rollins putting Orton out of action.
Here’s Cena to open things up with one of the loudest boos you’ll ever hear. He says the fans know how bad things are for him right now because Survivor Series is coming up. The Authority’s life is on the line and they don’t even want Cena to have a team. People like Zack Ryder tried to make a stand and now he’s going to be out six months.
However, he has two men ready to fight for him: Dolph Ziggler and former World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger. The fans say they want Ziggler and Cena blames the Authority for him not being out here. There’s one more man that Cena has his eye on and he’s a monster. The fans chant FEED ME MORE and that’s exactly who Cena wants out here right now.
Ryback comes out and says the big guy is back but the Authority cuts him off immediately. The entire group is here, complete with Mark Henry as the third man on the team. Stephanie thinks the English fans should love the Authority because they’re so used to being ruled by a monarchy. HHH says everything is on the line for the Authority and of course he’s trying to scare people out of being on Team Cena. The stakes have been raised so the game has changed. Who has the guts to join Team Cena when everything is on the line?
Cena only has two guys on his team right now but Ziggler isn’t likely to make it to Survivor Series. Cena: “You said the same thing about Daniel Bryan.” The HUGE YES chant suggests that Bryan is still over. HHH takes credit for Bryan being on the shelf and suggests that Ziggler will join him after facing Henry tonight. Stephanie brings it back to Ryback, saying that he could have many more main events if he joins Team Authority. Ryback might be the biggest monster the company has ever seen, but Kane doesn’t look happy with that idea.
Ryback seems to like the idea but Cena goes on another rant against the Authority. He doesn’t care who Ryback joins but know the pressure that comes with joining the Authority. The fans chant FEED ME MORE and Ryback says he isn’t afraid of the Authority, but he doesn’t see Cena’s name on the bottom of his paycheck. Ryback lays out Cena with a spinebuster and Stephanie starts a YES chant.
Seth Rollins vs. Jack Swagger
They trade shoulders to start until Rollins bails to the floor for a breather. Back in and Swagger snapmares him into an armbar to slow things down again. Rollins bails again and we take an early break. Back with Rollins in control and the fans chanting for JBL. Jack quickly breaks out of a chinlock and backdrops Seth out to the floor. The Stooges tell Colter to stay back and that’s exactly what the mustached wonder does.
Back in and a big boot sets up the Vader Bomb for two and the Patriot Lock goes on. Ropes are quickly grabbed though and Seth is sent out to the floor. Another Patriot Lock has Seth in trouble outside but he sends Swagger face first into the post. Back in and the Curb Stomp is good for the pin at 11:26.
Rating: C. Thanks for coming Jack, nice to see you’re still as big of a loser as you always were. At least have him beat someone before you crush him like this. Unless they’re going with the idea of Cena basically being on his own at the PPV, I really don’t see the need to have Swagger get beaten this decisively.
Post match the doctor looks at Swagger so Rollins gives Jack another Curb Stomp.
We look at Ambrose on the Peep Show from Smackdown. Wyatt interrupted and said Dean was just as broken as Harper and Rowan were. Bray mentioned Dean’s father being in prison and seemed to get under Ambrose’s skin.
Ambrose says he has a rap sheet as long as your arm but he doesn’t claim to be anyone’s hero. He’s fighting demons a lot scarier than Bray Wyatt but he doesn’t hide from anything. Dean is going to take Bray down hard with him and there’s a special place waiting for both of them. The match is official for Survivor Series.
Kane tells Ryback he’ll be at ringside for the main event. Ryback says he’s got it covered so Kane tells him to learn some humility. Ryback tells him to stay out of his way.
Paige vs. Alicia Fox
Guess who the fans are behind here. Fox jumps Paige to start and kicks her out to the floor. Back in and a northern lights suplex gets two for Alicia and a backbreaker gets the same. Paige gets all fired up and nails the Rampaige for the pin at 2:14.
Stephanie recruits Rusev for the Authority but Lana isn’t sure. They’ll consider it though. McMahon calls her a stuck up little Russian twit and offers to scratch Lana’s back if Lana will scratch hers.
Xavier Woods video. I believe this is the same as last week.
The Authority watches Vince’s speech from last week and say Vince has tried this kind of stuff before. HHH thinks he’s trying to split them up but says they’ll dominate at Survivor Series. Stephanie asks what if but HHH says they can’t think like that.
Here are the Russians for a victory celebration. Lana calls Rusev being US Champion ironic because Russia is superior to the United States. If not for Russia saving the British military, everyone here would be speaking German. A Russian guy in a suit reads a proclomation from Putin, basically saying woo hoo go Rusev. The Russian national anthem plays but Sheamus cuts things off. He storms the ring and Rusev bails to the floor.
We love veterans!
US Title: Sheamus vs. Rusev
Rusev is defending. Sheamus powers him into the corner to start and knocks the champion to the apron for the ten forearms. They head outside with Sheamus being sent into the apron and then thrown onto the announcers’ table for a good crash. Back in and Rusev puts on a hard front facelock to take Sheamus back down to the mat. Off to a cobra clutch for a bit before a big spinwheel kick puts Sheamus down again.
Back from a break with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock as the Stooges are watching from ringside. Sheamus nails his running ax handles to the face but charges into a dropkick to put him right back down. A powerslam drops Rusev for two and Sheamus heads to the apron for the ten forearms. The slingshot shoulder sets up White Noise but Rusev rolls out. He doesn’t roll far enough though as Sheamus tries the Cloverleaf. Rusev kicks away but Sheamus grabs a jackknife rollup for two.
The champ comes right back with a gutwrench suplex for two and takes Sheamus to the corner, only to get caught in White Noise for an even closer two. The fans start an OLE chant as the Brogue Kick misses. Instead Rusev bails to the floor so Sheamus nails a top rope shoulder to drop him again.
Another ax handle to the head has Rusev in trouble and Sheamus throws him into the barricade over and over. Rusev dives back in and the referee checks on him as the Stooges jump Sheamus. The referee turns back around and starts the count at 8 (totally against the rules that have been in place for like, ever) to count Sheamus out at 15:47.
Rating: B-. As I was watching the finish, I actually said “they’re going to restart the count”, because THAT’S WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO. I mean, Gorilla Monsoon used to point that out and it’s been the case as long as I can remember. Then again, this is WWE where you can change the rules on a whim, especially when you need a way out of a good match. As usual, you can tell how good a Sheamus match is based on how sweaty his hair gets. Good stuff here.
Post break Lana agrees to put Rusev on Team Authority.
We recap the opening segment.
Rollins comes in to see Ryback and tells him to take orders from him instead of Kane. Ryback says he destroys whatever target is in front of him. Also, it’s the big man, not the big guy.
Los Matadores vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow
The actors have Hornswoggle in a black coat of his own. Miz runs over Fernando to start but Fernando keeps dropping to the mat until OLE! Diego comes in with a slingshot hilo for two but gets caught in a Reality Check. Lawler points out that almost all of the teams in the tag division look alike as the fans want Mizdow. Miz teases tagging him in but opts for a corner clothesline on Diego instead.
A top rope ax handle gets two on Diego as Jerry wants to know why Miz has a stunt double but Tom Cruise doesn’t. It’s finally off to Mizdow for one of the loudest pops of the night. Miz almost immediately tags himself back in and Diego runs over for a tag to Fernando. Everything breaks down and Miz kicks Fernando in the face. The little guys get into it and we get the Wrestlemania V ending with Mizdow holding down Fernando’s foot to give Miz the pin at 4:55.
Rating: D+. This is basically the same thing as we had last week with the tag teams having matches against each other. I’d almost bet on Goldust vs. Jey Uso either tonight or next week just to complete the foursome. Odds are it’s a fourway tag match at Survivor Series, even though I’m not sure how they fill in a card with 18 people in two matches.
Ziggler and Cena have a meeting in the back with Cena saying Swagger has been lost. Dolph isn’t going to let the same thing happen to him and Cena promises to have his back. Cena goes to leave when HHH dances in. HHH is cool with Cena having his back but not at ringside. The boss leaves, singing Another One Bites the Dust on the way out.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Mark Henry
Non-title again and we get the eyes talking to Dolph before the match again. The big man misses a charge in the corner and a rollup gets two for Dolph. Ziggler charges into a bearhug but faceplants Henry down to get a breather. They head outside with Henry missing a charge into the barricade but coming up with a chair for the DQ at 2:47.
Henry loads up the steps post match and loads up the World’s Strongest Slam. Cue Big Show who blocks a steps shot and knocks Henry to the floor. Show says he’s on Team Cena, which shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.
Video on Kofi Kingston in the exact same style of the Woods video, even shouting NEW DAY over and over. So the stable is happening.
Team Cena meets up in the back and says they need two more. Sheamus comes up and says they just need one more.
Brie Bella vs. AJ Lee
Non-title again. Brie quickly takes her down and gets two off a running knee to the face. A missile dropkick puts AJ down again but Brie charges into some knees in the corner. The Black Widow is good for the submission at 2:14.
Nikki lays out AJ with the Rack Attack post match.
We see the veteran who is walking again using some new technology from Smackdown. Still cool.
Henry comes in to see Ryback and talks down to him as well. I sense a theme building.
The Grumpy Cat is still guest starring on Raw next week. Seriously that’s happening.
Adam Rose vs. Tyson Kidd
Rose is still WAY over despite teasing a heel turn on Friday. The match is just getting going when Erick Rowan comes out and scares the Bunny half to death. He takes off the mask and says “she’s not here” before walking into the crowd. Natalya maybe? Rose kicks Kidd in the face and hits some running clotheslines but the Bunny gets on the top rope. Adam shouts him down but Kidd uses the distraction to put on the Sharpshooter for the submission at 2:20.
Post match the Bunny hops around Rose and helps him up, only to get kicked in the ribs for his efforts. Rose leaves with the Express, who doesn’t seem to mind.
We recap Vince’s speech from last week again to set up the stakes at Survivor Series.
The Authority (minus Ryback) is having a meeting. Kane thinks Ryback has an attitude when Ryback walks in. HHH says the match tonight is about Ryback so he should destroy Cena in short order. Stephanie gives them a pep talk.
Chris Jericho will be back on Smackdown for the Highlight Reel with the Authority.
Same Ambrose/Wyatt video from Friday as earlier.
Wyatt pops up on screen and says society tells us that we’re all imperfect. Everyone is to be accepted for who we are though. Even someone as different as a Dean Ambrose, when people would rather spit on him than throw him a dollar. Bray walks the same wire as Ambrose, who admits he was a sinner. Dean got that from his daddy, who was a sinner as well.
Society tells us that sin is bad but that’s just another lie they teach us. Bray knows the future for Ambrose because Bray is sin himself. If God walked this earth, he would make oceans to walk away from Wyatt himself. Dean can join Wyatt on the path of righteousness or he can walk away alone.
ECW Exposed is on the Network after Raw goes off the air. Joey Styles and Paul Heyman are at the studio and hype up the show a bit.
John Cena vs. Ryback
The Authority (minus the leaders) is at ringside. Ryback throws Cena around and runs him over with a shoulder to start. An early AA attempt is countered but Cena fights back with right hands to knock Ryback into the corner. The bulldog is easily countered into a powerslam for two and Cena is in trouble again. More right hands have little effect as Ryback throws Cena at the Authority’s feet. Kane yells at Ryback a bit, allowing Cena to send Ryback flying into Kane for a big crash as we take a break.
Back with Cena diving into a slam and getting suplexed for two. Cena grabs a belly to belly to put both guys down but gets caught with a Thesz Press. Ryback rams John’s head into the mat over and over before getting two off a splash. The Shell Shock is countered but Ryback counters the shoulder into a powerslam for two. Cena backflips out of a powerbomb and escapes something like a Razor’s Edge to put on the STF.
The hold is quickly broken and Ryback hits a kind of slingshot cross body for two. Cena comes right back with an STF in the middle of the ring but Ryback casually powers up into a Shell Shock. That’s countered as well into the ProtoBomb but Kane gets on the apron for a distraction. A spinebuster plants Cena again as the Authority is having issues on the floor. Kane gets in and nails Cena for the DQ at 15:07.
Rating: B-. These two have nice chemistry together and this was no exception. Ryback is capable of working more than just a quick match which is the best thing that could possibly happen for him. He may not be ready for the title but he can hold his own in the ring, which is a major problem for so many power guys.
Ryback shoves Kane post match so Rollins comes in to break it up. Ryback nails him so Kane boots him down as the Authority goes after Cena. Sheamus tries to come in for a save but gets caught by the numbers. Cue Big Show to knock out the Stooges but the numbers take him down as well. Ziggler is nowhere in sight but Ryback comes back in and destroys the Authority. He doesn’t say anything to Cena as he leaves. Cena counts his team and looks at Ryback before slowly applauding.
We cut to HHH and Stephanie in the back when Ziggler is thrown onto their couch. HHH looks up and sees Luke Harper, who says he’s a team player. The bosses aren’t sure what to do as we go off the air.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show for one major reason: stuff is actually happening again. There’s stuff like Rowan searching for someone, the teams taking shape, the tag feud (boring but happening) and the Bellas stuff (they look good at least). It’s so much better than the same boring stuff over and over again and makes the show so much easier to sit through. It’s still not great, but I’ll take this stuff over the dull episodes any day.
Results
Seth Rollins b. Jack Swagger – Curb Stomp
Paige b. Alicia Fox – Rampaige
Rusev b. Sheamus via countout
Miz/Damien Mizdow b. Los Matadores – Miz fell on Fernando
Dolph Ziggler b. Mark Henry via DQ when Henry hit him with a chair
AJ Lee b. Brie Bella – Black Widow
Tyson Kidd b. Adam Rose – Sharpshooter
John Cena b. Ryback via DQ when Kane interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: November 3, 2014
We’re getting closer and closer to Survivor Series and for once the big elimination tag actually feels like it means something. We only have two members per team now though so it’s time to build up the rosters a little bit more. Other than that there’s….not much really. Oh wait Rusev finally wants the US Title. Let’s get to it.
We opened with a rare appearance from the Boss himself, Vince McMahon. To make a 20 minute promo short, Vince put the Authority’s future on the line in the elimination tag. This was a smart move as there was no real reason to care about the match otherwise. I’d love to see Cena put something up, but it can’t be something like never challenging for the title again because everyone would see the outcome a mile away.
Ambrose and Cesaro had a nice long match with Cesaro getting busted open and losing to Dirty Deeds. Bray Wyatt came out to watch but left before Ambrose could get to him. As usual, Cesaro and Ambrose had good chemistry together and the match was solid as you would expect.
The Authority wasn’t sure if Orton would make a good teammate. The turn continues.
Miz used some distraction to beat Jimmy Uso. It looks like we’re setting up a multi-team match at Survivor Series and this was just having the people on the teams fight. Nothing out of the ordinary and nothing all that interesting either. The match was exactly what you would expect from Miz vs. an Uso.
Tyson Kidd beat Sheamus via countout when he threw Natalya in front of the pale one. This was a nice surprise as Kidd got to show off for a change and Sheamus didn’t get pinned. There’s nothing wrong with losing via countout so no harm, no foul here.
The next big talking segment of the night was the Authority trying to get Ziggler to change sides for Survivor Series. HHH asked if Ziggler really thinks he’ll get any glory if Team Cena wins or if Cena will get any of the blame if they lose. Ziggler was offered whatever he wanted but the only thing he wants is the Authority out of power. HHH made Ziggler vs. Rollins for the Intercontinental Title right now. The promo made sense and was good enough, but like almost all HHH promos, it took WAY longer than it needed to. That’s my big issue with him: he just can’t cut to the chase and say what he wants to say. Speed it up Game.
As for the match, what else are you expecting? They went really fast, they ran around a lot, they almost had a finish and then Orton ran in for the DQ. Again, as long as Ziggler doesn’t get pinned, I can live with whatever they do to him. It’s called protecting champions and unfortunately it’s a lost art anymore. Actually it isn’t even an art. It’s lost common sense.
After a break, Orton came in to see the Authority. HHH made Orton a co-captain and set up Orton vs. Rollins tonight to let them get all this hatred out of their systems. Orton reluctantly agreed and you know something is going down tonight.
A bunch of eyes looked at us. I’m not sure who it was but it was creepy looking.
Ryback beat Titus O’Neil in about a minute. Standard Ryback formula.
Big Show said he misses his friend but now he’s going to knock Henry out. Simple and to the point.
Henry destroyed Big Show and hit him with the steps for a DQ. I’m really not a fan of these kind of matches and this was nothing worth seeing. In the back, Stephanie wanted Henry on the Survivor Series team. This would actually be followed up on next week.
Brie Bella wasn’t allowed to do an interview because Nikki said no. Erick Rowan came up and touched Renee Young’s hair after the twins left.
Nikki Bella beat Emma clean. Post match Brie had to go slap AJ on commentary, sending Nikki running away.
Xavier Woods appears to have a new preacher gimmick. No Kofi or Big E. in sight yet.
Rusev squashed Ryder for I think the 8th time (no exaggeration) since the night after Wrestlemania. Lana did her usual speech post match until Sheamus came to chase them off. After a break, Stephanie recruited Rusev but didn’t get an answer. Points for trying to get people involved at least.
Fernando beat Stardust in the same kind of match as Miz vs. Jimmy.
The main event saw Rollins beat Orton with a quick backslide. Again, what are you expecting here? Both guys are good workers and know how to work a main event style. Post match, Orton snapped and beat up the entire Authority but the numbers got the better of him, setting up a Curb Stomp onto the steps to end the show and sending Orton off to film a bad movie.
Post show Rusev beat Sheamus on the Network for the US Title. This continues to be the most logical and well done story in the company.
Overall Raw was better this week than the last few episodes as they advanced the stories and put on some good matches to back things up. At the end of the day though, three hours is just way too long every week, even if the show is entertaining throughout. I like the team members being teased but not selected, as it keeps more options open. Good show this week and I’m getting ready for Survivor Series. That’s a good sign.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – July 22, 2002: Let’s Get Ready To…..Have Way Too Much In One Show
Monday Night Raw Date: July 22, 2002
Location: Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, Michigan
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler
This is another request from a long time ago and I’m not quite sure why people want to see it. Looking over the card there’s quite a bit of stuff that could be worth looking at so maybe there’s actually a decent show in here. Given that I’ve done so much of the year already though, I can’t imagine this is going to be anything special. Let’s get to it.
Here’s new GM Eric Bischoff to open things up. He insists that he loves all of us and promises the Rock will be here tonight. On top of that, we’re getting the man that is going to make this show #1 in all of entertainment: HHH. Cue the Game (with a LONG entrance) for his first official night as a member of the Raw roster. Bischoff tries to say he’s bringing up Raw but HHH says he’s bringing up his best friend instead. Shawn comes out to a very nice reaction but Bischoff cuts it off to name Shawn as HHH’s new manager.
He makes sure to say that Shawn will always be a few steps behind HHH, but that’s not cool with Shawn. Eric and Michaels have a brief exchange over who has more stroke with Bischoff saying he isn’t Vince. Shawn suggests Bischoff learn who he is, because he doesn’t react well to ultimatums. He’ll always take the highway instead of someone else’s way so he’s out of here. Bischff says Shawn is walking out on the fans but Shawn leaves anyway. HHH goes after him, allowing Eric to announce that the Intercontinental and European Titles will be unified in a ladder match tonight.
HHH catches up with Shawn in the back but Michaels doesn’t like being told what to do. Shawn knows HHH came to Raw because of him but Michaels didn’t choose to work for Bischoff. HHH says being his manager wouldn’t be that bad with Shawn’s back being that bad. Don’t be like Stone Cold and walk out with your ball. Trips has an idea to make this work and Shawn begrudgingly agrees to stay and listen.
Intercontinental Title/European Title: Rob Van Dam vs. Jeff Hardy
Van Dam is IC, Jeff is European and this is a ladder match in case you have the attention span of a goldfish. Rob scores with an early dropkick and covers out of instinct. Instead he throws Jeff to the floor and nails him with a ladder. An early climb attempt doesn’t work as Jeff pops back up for a save. Now it’s Jeff loading up the ladder but getting it dropkicked out from under him.
Another dropkick knocks the ladder out of Van Dam’s hands so both guys slide in fresh ladders. They ram the ladders into each other and both guys go down. Rob gets the better of it and puts Jeff on the ladder for a cartwheel moonsault. Hardy pops up for another save with a Russian legsweep off the ladder. That’s not enough for Hardy of course so he puts the ladder on top of Van Dam for a Swanton to keep Rob in trouble.
Both guys go up again but it’s Van Dam with a sunset bomb to take Jeff down. Rolling Thunder onto Jeff onto the ladder keeps Hardy in trouble. Rob goes up but gets nailed in the back with another ladder, only to kick Jeff off his ladder. Van Dam drops a splash off the ladder before climbing back up to win the title in less than seven minutes.
Rating: C. The crashes were good but seven minutes with five minutes to get ready? That’s the best they can give to the last match for the European Title? And that’s really been gone for twelve years now? The match was fun enough but again, give it either a build or some more time. This was pretty ridiculous all things considered.
Here’s Christopher Nowitzki with something to say. He sucks up to Bischoff for giving him the chance to get something off his chest. Ever since he got here, he’s been perplexed as to why people hate a Harvard graduate. Before he can brag any further, here’s Undertaker to interrupt. He isn’t in the best mood after losing the WWE Title last night and it’s Nowitzki getting the beating to let off some frustration. A quick Last Ride and we’re done.
Bischoff tries to get Rhyno, almost back from neck surgery, to join Raw. Rhyno seems interested but doesn’t sign yet. Shawn Stasiak and D’Lo Brown come up and ask for a chance to get on Raw. Bischoff gives them three minutes to entertain him later tonight. I don’t see this going well for them.
Bubba Ray Dudley/Trish Stratus vs. Molly Holly/William Regal
The genders don’t have to match here. Bubba is very banged up coming off a tables match last night. The guys start with Regal taking a big backdrop but Bubba only has one good arm. Regal crawls over and hides with Molly before tagging her in. Molly wants a test of strength so Bubba does the arm switches into a dance, earning him a slap. Bubba spanks Molly to retaliate before it’s off to Stratus for some dropkicks. Regal cheats from the apron so Molly can grab a northern lights suplex for two.
Trish has to fight off the Englishman and scores with a dropkick before making the hot(ish) tag. Everything breaks down and Molly gets crotched on the top, leaving the good ones to What’s Up Regal. Bubba loads up the chest slap on Trish but puts the brakes on to keep it PG. As he goes to get the tables, Regal Germans Trish and puts on the Regal Stretch for the win.
Rating: D. Standard comedy match without much of the comedy here. Bubba stopping himself at Trish’s chest was a cute bit but other than that I have no idea why these teams were fighting. JR mentioned that the girls got to pick their partners but there’s no reason given for anything else.
Bischoff tells someone that they’re on when three minutes are up. He turns around and sees Benoit, who will be in a match later with Booker T. for a shot at the Intercontinental Title.
Here’s the new WWE Champion the Rock with something to say. Actually scratch that as he can barely get any words out over the fans’ cheering. FINALLY he’s ready to talk and says he won’t be riding motorcycles with Undertaker or drinking milk with Kurt Angle. After last night though, he has to thank them for having such a great match. That was last night though, but this is tonight.
Eddie Guerrero of all people interrupts and says he has a problem with La Rocka. He has two little girls at home and they both worship the ground their father walks on. However, he’s found posters of the Rock next to the posters of him. Eddie ripped the Rock poster down because Rock is just a movie star, so Rock calls him a sick psychopathic freak. Rock says Eddie is a movie star as well but doesn’t remember if Eddie was Cheech or Chong.
That’s a sign of jealousy in Eddie’s eyes, because everyone knows he’s a better wrestler than Rock. Eddie brags about his haircut, which Rock describes as Billy Ray Cyrus having sex with a stupid hyena. What does that even mean? Anyway, Eddie wants a match tonight and if he wins, he gets a title shot next week. Rock sings a Latino song and agrees to the match. As Rock is leaving, Brock Lesnar comes out for his match and walks by Rock, his opponent at Summerslam, without even looking at him.
Brock Lesnar vs. Tommy Dreamer
Singapore cane match. Tommy hammers away with the cane to start but Brock just ends him with a belly to belly on the floor. Back in and Brock drives shoulders to the ribs in the corner but Dreamer nails a low blow. The DDT gets two but Lesnar pops up for the F5 and academic win.
Undertaker comes out with some cane shots for revenge on Lesnar for an attack last week.
Big Show cuts on Shawn in the back and brings up a superkick from a few weeks ago. There’s no NWO to save Shawn now and Michaels agrees that he might not be able to fight now. Show laughs and leaves. Ok then.
Bischoff reminds Brown and Stasiak that they have three minutes.
Shawn Stasiak vs. D’Lo Brown
Brown hammers away to start and gets a few early two counts as Bischoff stands on the stage, checking his watch. Stasiak puts on an armbar and Bischoff rips into him for being boring. He cuts off the time and we get to the point: 3 Minute Warning (Jamal, later known as Umaga, and Rosey, later known as Rosey) debuts and mauls both guys.
HHH gives Shawn a bag and tells him to wear whatever is inside. Shawn looks pleased.
Goldust praises Booker’s performance against Big Show last night at Vengeance. It was like David beating Goliath and Booker is like a king. He gives Booker a Don King wig as the comedy continues.
Chris Benoit vs. Booker T.
Winner gets a future IC Title shot. Booker has bad ribs coming in from his match last night. A quick shoulder drops Benoit and a superkick does it even better. Benoit comes right back with a running elbow to the face for two before a hard whip drops Booker in the corner. Back up and another superkick drops the Canadian but he suplexes his way out of a sleeper.
Booker scores with another elbow to the jaw, followed by a missile dropkick for a close two. The ax kick misses and Benoit goes after the ribs. It’s Rolling Germans time with a bridge getting two. Booker’s spinning sunset flip out of the corner gets two more but Benoit sends him face first into an exposed buckle. The Crossface makes Booker tap.
Rating: C+. This is another pairing that it’s really hard to screw up. Booker’s rib injury made the match work well enough as it slowed Booker down to the point where Benoit winning that quickly made sense. This was back when both guys were still young enough to put on good matches and this worked better than most other stuff all night.
Bischoff comes out for commentary on the next match.
Big Show vs. Spike Dudley
I think you know the drill here. The chokeslam ends it in about a minute.
Bischoff tells Show to get a table, but Bubba comes out to save his half brother. That earns him a chokeslam through the table along with Spike for his efforts.
ARE YOU READY? The DX theme comes on and here are HHH and Shawn with the old colors on once again. Shawn talks about the rebels being back and HHH does the Are You Ready bit. They load up the pose and HHH turns on Shawn with a Pedigree. They kept this quick as it only took about four minutes from beginning to end.
HHH is leaving when Smackdown GM Stephanie pulls up. She sends a production guy to tell Bischoff that the competition has arrived.
The Rock vs. Eddie Guerrero
Non-title but Eddie gets a title shot next week if he wins here. Eddie cranks on a headlock but eats a shoulder for his efforts. Some armdrags set up an armbar from the champion and a big clothesline stops Eddie’s spinning escape. Eddie gets in his first real offense with a belly to back suplex before stomping away in the corner. A slugout almost gives Rock some momentum but he eats an elbow to the jaw.
We hit the chinlock from Guerrero before a dropkick gets a near fall. Off to a figure four headscissors to keep things fresh (more wrestlers could use that lesson) but Eddie gets caught cheating. A dropkick stops another comeback bid and we’re back in the chinlock. Back up and Rock scores with some right hands but the Rock Bottom is countered into a rollup for two. That was sweet as Eddie was coming down before he rolled through. The Frog Splash misses and it’s the spinebuster and a People’s Elbow for the pin.
Rating: C+. I know it wasn’t much but I really liked that counter. I didn’t expect it and the move looked cooler as a result. Guerrero wasn’t quite back to his old self yet and it would take awhile for him to get back into a groove. Rock was on his way out but still had it at this point. Nice match.
Post match Brock runs out and grabs the title. We get a staredown until Lesnar throws the belt down at Rock’s feet.
Bischoff goes up to Stephanie’s limo to mock her. She’s here to teach him a lesson and gets out of the limo. Eric mocks her with some Karate Kid poses as Heyman and Lesnar show up. Stephanie backs down….and leaves with Brock and Heyman, making both of them Smackdown exclusives. Bischoff is STUNNED to end the show. Oh wait we’re making fun of Austin now. Bischoff is SHOCKED to end the show.
Overall Rating: C. The main event helped this but it’s still not a great show. So much stuff felt rushed but at the end of the day, both main events of Summerslam are set (mostly) with Shawn vs. HHH looking like a great emotional feud. The show flying by so fast was annoying, but man alive does this sort of show hold up compared to the modern three hour version.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – November 3, 2014: What A Sore Loser
Monday Night Raw Date: November 3, 2014
Location: First Niagara Center, Buffalo, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
Survivor Series is still a few weeks away but we have a main event set and a story to get us there. I’m not sure on having the match set up and then building the story behind it, but the idea worked in 1992 for Flair vs. Savage. Anyway, now we need to find out who else is going to join Cena before Orton comes in for the save. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Orton laying out Rollins last week and the setup for Cena vs. the Authority at Survivor Series with the big brawl to end the show.
In the arena we have the Authority and…..the Boss himself, Vince McMahon. Vince praises the Authority and acknowledges the fans’ displeasure of them. The fans know what a great experience the WWE Network is (unless you’re in the UK of course) and if you don’t, you can find out in November for free. This includes the Survivor Series being free, meaning you can see Team Cena vs. the Authority for absolutely free.
However, let’s raise the stakes a bit. There’s something great about having power you’ve earned, such as when Vince defeated the US government, Ted Turner, and the match with God (where Vince was God’s partner but whatever). Therefore, let’s put the Authority’s power on the line in the match. The fans love that idea and we get an awkward ending where Vince’s music comes on before he seems ready to leave. Vince was just a spokesman here and didn’t mention the mess in the UK at all.
As they leave, here’s Dean Ambrose for his match. He shakes Vince’s hand and that’s it for the Authority right now.
After a break, Vince says he loved being back out there and hopes the Authority liked his surprise. He knows he can count on HHH and Stephanie but doesn’t like HHH’s tie. Vince leaves for the night and that’s it.
Dean Ambrose vs. Cesaro
Before the match we get a recap of how Ambrose lost in the Cell. They hit the mat to start with Dean working on the arm before hammering away in the corner. A headlock takes Cesaro right back to the mat but he shoves Ambrose out to the floor to get a breather. Dean hammers away and nails an ax handle off the apron. Back in Cesaro powerbombs Dean out of the corner but Dean just charges at him with right hands to put Cesaro outside again. Cesaro is busted open BAD but the lights go out and we take a break.
Back with Wyatt sitting on the stage and watching Cesaro DDTing Dean off the top. The doctors have closed up the gash on Cesaro’s head so he doesn’t bleed on Dean while holding a chinlock. Dean fights up and nails a running forearm in the corner followed by a bulldog for two.
A big boot sets up the Rebound Clothesline to give Ambrose another two count. Dean loads up a tornado DDT but gets countered into Swiss Death to give Cesaro his own two. That doesn’t last long though as Dean knocks him to the floor for a suicide dive. Back in and Ambrose gets crotched on the top for two, only to grab Dirty Deeds for the pin at 13:23.
Rating: B-. These two have chemistry and thankfully they didn’t just do another street fight to make the one on Friday pointless. Dean getting a clean pin is a good thing for him, even though Cesaro’s stock continues to plummet. Ambrose vs. Wyatt should be good when it happens as both guys are capable of putting on a great match when they need to.
Dean stares at Wyatt on the stage but the lights go out again. They come back up and show an empty rocking chair.
The Authority is in the back, talking about how make the best Survivor Series team. HHH suggests Orton but Stephanie isn’t convinced. Neither was HHH, but now Vince has forced them into a position they don’t want.
Jimmy Uso vs. Miz
Miz grabs a headlock to start as Jey stares at Mizdow’s imitations. Back up and Jimmy nails a superkick to the ribs and gets two off a clothesline. We hit the armbar as Jey starts copying his brother. Cole: “THIS IS HILARIOUS!” A Samoan drop puts Miz down again but he avoids the running Umaga attack. Back in and Miz avoids a low clothesline before kicking Jimmy’s head off. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Miz gets sent to the floor, setting up a huge dive. Mizdow tries to interfere and eats a superkick from Jey, drawing a huge boo from the crowd. The distraction lets Miz hit the Finale on Jimmy for the pin at 4:40.
Rating: D+. This was a fairly slow paced match but it was so much better than seeing the same tag matches over and over again. It’s also nice to see them having different teams than just the champions and whomever they’re feuding with at the time fighting. Just keep things from being the same over and over again and it’s far easier to sit through.
We recap Mark Henry turning on Big Show last week.
Sheamus is defending the US Title on Raw Backstage Pass against Rusev tonight.
Sheamus vs. Tyson Kidd
Non-title and Kidd has his big headphones on again. Feeling out process to start with Kidd kicking away at the leg but getting dropped with a European uppercut. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker (not the Irish Curse Cole) puts Kidd down again as we see Rusev and Lana watching from the back. Kidd sends him throat first into the middle rope as Natalya looks very nervous on the floor. A hard kick to the head staggers Sheamus as Cole makes a Sarah Palin reference. Leave it to WWE to be on the cutting edge of the news.
We hit a chinlock on Sheamus until he fights back with a running knee and Alabama Slam. There’s the Cloverleaf but Tyson crawls over to the ropes. A springboard missile dropkick puts Sheamus on the floor as Kidd is doing far better than you would expect here. Sheamus pulls him off the apron for the rolling fireman’s carry but Tyson throws Natalya at Sheamus to beat the count back in at 5:17.
Rating: C-. I liked this way more than I was expecting to as Kidd got to show off a bit instead of looking like a cruiserweight jobber in way over his head. Sheamus losing by countout is far better than having him get rolled up or something because he got caught by a cheating coward. Little things like that make the show so much easier to sit through.
Sheamus kicks Kidd’s head off post match.
Here’s Dolph Ziggler for his match but instead he gets the entire Authority. We see Vince’s announcement again and Stephanie says the Authority is excited. See they’re winners, unlike John Cena and everyone else. They’ll put together the greatest Survivor Series team in history, led by Seth Rollins and Kane. HHH whispers in her ear and Stephanie announces Orton as the third member.
The Game talks about how people think the Authority is punishing people who side with Cena, but that’s not the case at all. If Ziggler sides with Cena and wins, who is going to get the credit? If they lose, who is going to get all the blame? Ziggler seems ready to rise up to the top but there’s always someone in his way. He works harder than anyone else in the back but Ziggler doesn’t get the credit for it. Instead, Cena is called the hardest working man in the company while no one remembers Dolph. Stephanie asks Ziggler where Cena is tonight if he cares about Ziggler so much.
Maybe this will all work out for Ziggler though. Maybe Dolph gets all the titles, the girls and the fame. Maybe….that’s an awful lot of maybes. Or maybe, Ziggler can call up Cena and tell him the answer is no. Dolph can have anything he wants for one phone call. If Ziggler asks, the Authority will give.
Ziggler thinks about it and confirms that he can have ANYTHING he wants. HHH: “Anything.” Ziggler wants HHH and the Authority out of power for good. That’s too bad because the Authority wanted to give Dolph whatever he wanted. Now, when the twelve year olds are complaining about the Authority on Twitter, they can blame Ziggler. Sometimes in life you can end up empty handed, like right now because Ziggler is defending his Intercontinental Title.
Intercontinental Title: Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins
Rollins is challenging. They hit the mat to start with Rollins grabbing a headlock as the fans tell him that he sold out. The announcers plug the Network as Ziggler hiptosses Rollins out to the floor. Seth comes back with right hands in the corner and a clothesline gets two. Dolph backdrops him down but gets caught in a suplex. A dropkick staggers Rollins but he comes back with a Downward Spiral into the buckle for two. We hit the chinlock on the champion but he fights up and sends both guys outside.
Back from a break with Ziggler in another chinlock. He fights up but both guys try cross bodies to give us a breather. Some clotheslines drop Rollins and the neckbreaker puts him down again. The Fameasser is countered into a rollup for two but a catapult sends Rollins into the corner. Dolph hammers away in the corner, only to have Seth nail the Buckle Bomb for two.
Seth misses the top rope knee to the head and the Fameasser connects for another near fall. The running DDT and superkick are blocked and Rollins gets two off an enziguri. Ziggler avoids the Curb Stomp but has to deal with the Stooges. Seth sends him shoulder first into the post and now the Curb Stomp connects….but Orton comes in with an RKO to Rollins for the DQ at 15:30.
Rating: B-. The DQ ending makes sense here as Orton’s face turn (or at least tweener turn) continues to grow. Rollins vs. Orton is going to be a great match and the build is getting better and better with the one upping. They made sure to protect Ziggler for a change here as he was fighting three guys at once and didn’t actually get pinned. Again, the little things are all you need to make this stuff work.
Orton comes in to see the Authority and is told he and Rollins will be co-captains at Survivor Series. Randy thinks he should go fight on Team Cena instead but HHH gets in his face. HHH wants Orton to face Rollins tonight to get this out of his system because everything is on the line at Survivor Series. They slowly shake hands and Orton says deal.
We get a vignette of eyes with a voice saying he sees you. It sounded like Rowan but it wasn’t clear.
We see Show and Henry fighting on MizTV from Smackdown.
Titus O’Neil is in the ring and says you spell winning T-I-T-U-S-. He’s open to offers for Survivor Series but gets cut off by some music.
Ryback vs. Titus O’Neil
The fans get behind Ryback to start but O’Neil actually takes him down with a clothesline. Some kicks to the back have Ryback in more trouble but he spinebusts Titus with ease. The Authority is watching in the back as the Meathook and Shell Shock are enough for the pin at 2:26.
Big Show is in the back and says he’d love to be on Team Cena at Survivor Series because Cena could count on him. Speaking of people you can count on, Show thought he could count on Mark Henry. But then Henry turned on him in a big way and beat Big Show up. They have forty years between them in WWE (not quite) and Big Show misses his friend. However, there’s a part of him that just wants to knock Henry out.
Some Buffalo Bills are here.
Big Show vs. Mark Henry
Henry gets tossed into the corner to start but Show charges into an elbow. The fans chant for Sexual Chocolate as Show superkicks Henry down. An elbow gets two and they head outside where Henry sends him into the post. Show nails something like a spear to put both guys down on the floor.
Back in and Show drops some elbows before putting on that modified Haas of Pain. Henry makes the ropes so Show stands on his chest. The Authority is watching from the back again as Big Show goes up top. Mark slams him down and RUNS over for a two count. The World’s Strongest Slam gets the same with a very weak reaction. They head outside with Henry sending him into the steps before nailing him with the steps for a DQ at 6:28.
Rating: D+. This was your standard slow paced match between two big guys and nowhere near as good of a match as either guy had with Rusev. The fact that it seems to set up another match between them doesn’t help matters as they can only throw each other around so many times before the interest wears down.
Henry Slams him on the steps post match.
Stephanie wants Henry on the team so HHH sends Kane to find out. We get some of Stephanie’s classic acting as she says they only need one more. HHH says let the guys get it out of their system tonight so they can focus.
Network hype.
AJ is on commentary as Brie is in the back for a chat with Renee. She’s on day 8 of her sentence and knows it’s tough when Nikki comes in to cut it off. Brie isn’t allowed to do anything without Nikki’s permission so get out of here. Renee says that’s a wrap when Erick Rowan pops up next to her and starts playing with her hair. He takes off the mask and says pretty. Renee leaves because she’s smarter than Michael Cole.
Nikki Bella vs. Emma
The CM Punk chants begin as Cole explains the servant story. An early slam gets two for Nikki and she cranks on Emma’s arms. Back up and Emma avoids a charge in the corner before putting on the Dilemma. The Emma Sandwich is broken up by a dropkick, followed by the Rack Attack for the pin at 2:24.
Post match Nikki tells Brie to go slap AJ. Brie follows orders and Nikki runs off from the champ.
Xavier Woods is now an over the top preacher who talks about it being a new day.
Rusev vs. Zack Ryder
Ryder has sent Cena a tweet saying that he’d be on Team Cena. It’s almost sad at this point. Rusev quickly takes him into the corner and hammers away. Ryder scores with some dropkicks but charges into a foot and gets Accoladed at 1:18.
Post match Lana says their new orders from Putin are to bring him the United States Title. Rusev says Sheamus is no different from any other and he’ll beg for mercy like everyone else. This brings out Sheamus who says he values the title more than anything and that Rusev is in for the fight of his life tonight.
After a break, Stephanie comes up to the Russians in the back and offers Lana a spot on the team. They’ll have to talk to Putin first and then get back to her. As you would expect, this took far longer than it should have.
Fernando vs. Stardust
Miz and Mizdow are on commentary. Stardust takes him down to start and hammers away as Miz talks about teaching Mizdow to act. Fernando fights out of an armbar but gets sent out to the floor. Stardust throws him back in but knocks JBL’s hat off the table for some reason. Goldust, Torito and the actors get in a brawl, allowing Fernando to hit the Backstabber on Stardust for the pin at 2:32.
We recap all the Authority stuff tonight.
Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins
The Authority is at ringside. Orton knocks him into the corner to start and sends Seth outside. Back in and they slug it out with Orton sending him outside again for a clothesline to the back of the head. We take a break and come back with Orton having some issues getting back inside. Rollins misses a dive though and we head back inside for a chinlock. That goes nowhere either as Rollins fights out and kicks Orton in the chest a few times.
A knee drop gets two for Seth but they head outside with Orton sending him onto the announcers’ table. Seth drives him head first onto the table as well and heads back inside. Orton crotches him on top though and scores with a superplex for two. They head back outside again so Rollins can hit a suicide dive. HHH looks worried as Seth goes back inside for a springboard knee to the head. An enziguri looks to set up the Curb Stomp but Orton counters with a powerslam for two. The Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO but Rollins counters into a backslide for the surprise pin at 14:40.
Rating: B. Good match here with a surprise finish. If Orton is indeed taking time off to film a movie, there’s nothing wrong with him putting Rollins over on the way out. At the end of the day, Orton has been bulletproof for years so a loss like this isn’t going to mean anything, especially if he comes back to a huge face pop.
Most of the Authority gets in the ring and Orton is livid. Randy shakes the Stooges’ and Kane’s hands, leaving only Rollins in front of him. Orton isn’t sure this time as Rollins extends his hand and says he’s sorry. They shake hands and Orton lays him out with an RKO. What a sore loser.
The rest of the Authority gets taken out but HHH comes in to break up the Punt. He tries to calm Orton down but Randy lays him out as well. The Stooges come back in and triple team Orton but he fights all of them off and goes after Rollins outside. The Authority gets on Orton, allowing Seth to Curb Stomp him onto the table. Orton is slightly busted open. HHH says finish this and walks off with Stephanie, leaving Rollins to Curb Stomp Orton onto the steps to end the show.
Here’s a rare bonus match from the post show.
US Title: Sheamus vs. Rusev
Sheamus is defending of course and we get Big Match Intros. Rusev takes him up against the ropes to start before they trade some big clubbing shots. Sheamus knocks the Russian out to the apron for the forearms but Rusev breaks it up at about four. They head outside with Sheamus diving into a powerslam off the apron. Back in for a side choke from Rusev followed by a spinwheel kick for no cover.
We hit a front facelock on the champion but he quickly fights up for a powerslam to get a breather. Sheamus wins a slugout with some running ax handles but gets backdropped to the apron, only to grab Rusev for the ten forearms. The slingshot shoulder gets two but Sheamus takes too long going up, allowing Rusev to slam him down. A fall away slam gets two more for Rusev and frustration is starting to set in.
The Accolade goes on but Sheamus gets an arm free to fight it. He gets to his knees and headbutts his way to freedom, setting up White Noise for two. Sheamus staggers to his feet but misses the Brogue Kick, allowing Rusev to hit two straight running superkicks. The Accolade makes Sheamus black out to give Rusev the title at 12:02.
Rating: C+. This was a nice power match as you have Sheamus make Rusev look good in the process. Sheamus is another guy that can easily bounce back from a loss like this so there’s no damage done. It’s not like Sheamus was doing anything with the title anyway so let Rusev use it as a prop to keep up the RUSSIA IS AWESOME story. It makes perfect sense and there’s nothing wrong with this. The match wasn’t bad either.
Overall Rating: C+. I liked this show far better than most of the recent ones as you had pieces set up for the main event at the PPV and a reason to stick around for the post show match. It’s nothing great, but after all of the disasters we’ve sat through recently, this was a nice breath of air. Cena not being there likely had something to do with that as he’s been stuck doing the same stuff for so long lately that it’s nice to have someone else get a chance every now and then.
Results
Dean Ambrose b. Cesaro – Dirty Deeds
Miz b. Jimmy Uso – Skull Crushing Finale
Tyson Kidd b. Sheamus via countout
Seth Rollins b. Dolph Ziggler via DQ when Randy Orton interfered
Ryback b. Titus O’Neil – Shell Shock
Big Show b. Mark Henry via DQ when Henry hit him with the steps
Nikki Bella b. Emma – Rack Attack
Rusev b. Zack Ryder – Accolade
Fernando b. Stardust – Backstabber
Seth Rollins b. Randy Orton – Backslide
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: October 27, 2014
By this point we’ve had another episode of Raw since this one (the review is coming soon I promise) and I actually don’t remember most of what happened since then. I know we’re past the Cell now and the main story is looking like Wyatt vs. Ambrose plus whatever Cena has to do for the next few months before Lesnar finally comes back for the showdown that most people aren’t all that interested in seeing. Let’s get to it.
After the required video packages from the PPV, the Authority comes out to brag about winning last night. HHH praised Rollins for winning and said Orton gave a great effort in a loss. He said this a few times, drawing out an angry Orton. Randy mentioned being back in anger management after all the recent events and now he has to listen to HHH praise a guy that Curb Stomped him last week. HHH brought up the loss one more time, causing Orton to RKO Rollins and bail.
Big Show and Mark Henry had the Tag Team Titles won but Henry didn’t like Show making a blind tag and turned heel with a World’s Strongest Slam to give Stardust the pin. This is going to set up another battle of the strong fat guys, which we haven’t seen in awhile. Granted that might be for a reason but it’s what we’re getting again. The match was nothing to see but at least the feud makes sense.
Roman Reigns did another satellite interview where he said he wants to come back and get his hands on Rollins. This is basically just a way to keep Reigns fresh in our minds.
Paige turned on Alicia Fox and cost her a match against AJ. This would be the second straight match with the same story being told. That’s the kind of thing you should be mixing up instead of doing them back to back. Make the fans feel like they’re getting something different instead of the same idea over and over.
Cena came out for the big talking segment of the show. Short version: Cena wants Lesnar, Stephanie came out and wants him to join the team, HHH came out and wants him to join the team, HUSTLE, LOYALTY AND RESPECT, Team Cena vs. Authority at Survivor Series, Cena won’t be able to find partners. This took fifteen minutes.
The Usos used Twin Magic to beat Miz/Mizdow. That’s a fresh idea because they haven’t used it in years, thereby keeping it from getting boring. As usual Mizdow was the huge crowd favorite.
Cena shook hands with Ziggler. I have no problem with this.
Hulk Hogan still hates cancer.
Bo Dallas issued an open challenged which was answered by Ryback for the squash. Ryback as a face is a good thing given how lame the midcard is right now.
Cesaro vs. Ambrose never happened as Dean attacked him before the bell. Wyatt popped up and said he and Ambrose are a lot alike. Threats were issued and the match is imminent.
Brie Bella reluctantly helped her sister beat Naomi. This was more of the servant story which isn’t making me care about Brie and doesn’t seem to be enough to make her quit, especially when it’s only for a month and not like, forever.
Ziggler beat Kane in a non-title match. This is what Kane should be used for rather than beating Ziggler clean with the chokeslam because that would be stupid. Cena saved Ziggler from a post match beatdown.
The main event saw Cena beat Rollins via DQ in a long match. Kane of course ran in for the DQ because that’s almost his entire job these days. For some reason the entire locker room ran out for a brawl to end the show with Cena standing tall.
This show was all about setting up Survivor Series and giving it a big feel for a change. Over the last few years the elimination match has felt tacked on more often than not which makes the show feel like any other in a year. Ryback returning is a good thing for the midcard and he might even make it onto Team Cena (sidebar: can we bring back the unique names? Just putting “Team” in front of a name is so lame) for a big push. I like where they’re going with the story but the story rosters are going to make the big difference. It’s a nice show but nothing that blew me away.
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Monday Night Raw – October 27, 2014: Cena vs. the Dark Side
Monday Night Raw Date: October 27, 2014
Location: AT&T Center, San Antonio, Texas
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
We’re past the Cell and the main story is Bray Wyatt interfering in the main event and costing Ambrose what seemed to be a sure win. This would seem to set up Ambrose vs. Wyatt, which isn’t exactly Undertaker vs. Kane but at least it’s something new. We’re on the way to Survivor Series now and have four solid weeks to get there. Let’s get to it.
We open with a package of stills from Rollins vs. Ambrose, including what looked like a ghost popping up in the middle of the ring when Wyatt appeared. Cena vs. Orton gets a package of its own.
The Authority (bosses and Kane) are in the ring to open the show. Stephanie is her smug self and brags about having two Cell matches last night. HHH says Orton fought hard in a great match but plays up Rollins as the much bigger deal. This brings out a limping Rollins (flanked by the Stooges) to brag about winning the feud and being done with Ambrose once and for all. He sets down the briefcase and says he’ll be seeing Cena later tonight.
The music plays and Rollins poses but here’s a ticked off Orton to interrupt. Randy rips into Rollins and the Authority for bringing up Cena beating him twice in ten minutes. He blames Rollins and the Curb Stomp for the loss last week. Now he’s back in anger management and it’s time to deal with Rollins so the fight is on. HHH and Kane break it up with the boss saying we’re not doing this tonight. He wants Orton to take the night off and go get on his bus. They can deal with this later but tonight isn’t the right time. HHH mentions the Cell one more time and that earns Rollins an RKO. Orton leaves and Seth staggers out.
Tag Team Titles: Big Show/Mark Henry vs. Stardust/Goldust
Earlier today Show was upset that Henry came down to the ring last night but Henry says he was just there to celebrate. Show isn’t sure but Henry suggests they win the Tag Team Titles. Show shoves Goldust around to start ebfore it’s off to Henry for a Vader clothesline to keep control. Stardust comes in and tries some shots of his own, only to be dragged into the corner for a tag off to Big Show.
We get the SHH chops before it’s back to Henry for a Sexual Chocolate chant. Henry actually gets into it this time and does a hip swivel in the corner. Show makes a blind tag and Henry isn’t cool with it as we take a break. Back with Show fighting out of a Goldust headlock and putting on a kind of Haas of Pain until Stardust makes the save. Off to Henry again with Stardust hammering him right back down.
Stardust cranks on a front facelock before hitting a springboard missile dropkick, only to send Henry into the corner for another tag to Show. Big Show cleans house and spears Stardust down before the KO Punch knocks him silly. Henry comes in and World’s Strongest Slams Show before putting Stardust on top to retain at 11:10.
Rating: D+. This was another obvious ending but Henry was floundering after losing to Rusev. I’m not looking forward to the battle of the fat guys but they’ve surprised me with the Rusev matches. It’s the logical turn after things have happened but the blowoff match needs to not bomb.
Henry gives him two more Slams and a splash after the match.
Post break Henry says that’s what he does.
Video on Roman Reigns.
Reigns is live via satellite and says he’d love to be in San Antonio tonight. The Cell match last night was carnage and he knew Dean would bring the fight. Rollins is a coward though and Reigns is coming for him.
AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox
Non-title. Paige is on commentary because the feud just won’t die. Fox nails AJ to start and dropkicks her out to the floor. Back in and the northern lights suplex gets two and an elbow to the jaw puts AJ down. We hit the chinlock for a bit before AJ counters a slam with a spinning DDT. Fox comes right back with a backbreaker for two, prompting Paige to scream at Fox. AJ uses the distraction for the rollup pin at 3:37.
Rating: D+. This could have been worse but anything that gets us away from Paige vs. AJ is a good thing. I could go with Paige trying to find her new best friend, as long as we don’t get back to AJ vs. Paige in like a month. Let there be a division instead of just two girls fighting each other over and over.
Paige apologizes post match but destroys Fox with a kick to the chest and a catapult into the barricade.
Here’s Cena as the new #1 contender. He talks about the Spurs raising a championship banner tomorrow night before moving on to what happened last night. It may not have been the final chapter of his rivalry with Orton, but it was one of the biggest. The win brings Cena up to face Brock Lesnar, who is going to come back to WWE as a loser. From now on, everything Cena does is a statement to Lesnar, starting with beating Orton last night and moving on to Rollins tonight.
Tonight the new poster boy gets a wakeup call but here’s Stephanie to interrupt. She mentions the traditional Survivor Series match in a few weeks but for tonight, she has a business proposition. Cena has to play up to the crowd all the time and he has to be getting tired of it. John cuts her off and says he’s listening to the people but Stephanie says the people don’t matter.
They keep booing Cena, of course causing a Cena chant. That doesn’t count because all they want to see is violence and Cena on the mat and he never stops fighting. Why not come join the Authority where he can have the support he needs? Lesnar has beaten him twice and the people have cheered for Cena’s pain, but the Authority could offer some insurance. She ups the offer a bit: if Cena wins tonight, he can captain the Authority’s team at Survivor Series.
Cena says the only thing he deserves is a chance to come to the ring every night and work hard. The fans show up because they’re all a part of this no matter who they cheer for. Stephanie plays up the legacy card but Cena goes with the standard “I don’t sell out” promo, but here’s HHH to cut off his exit. HHH talks about being here for twenty years and how Cena is getting more and more banged up.
One day Cena is going to be the old man hobbling out here for one more hurrah and that isn’t going to work for him. Cena can try to fight the future but the Authority is going to make an example of him at the Survivor Series. At the end of the day, the Authority wins and there’s nothing Cena can do to stop it, so go try to find some men to join his team.
Usos vs. Miz/Damien Mizdow
Mizdow is already mimicking Miz even on the apron. Jimmy blocks some hiptoss attempts and gets two off a Bubba Bomb. Miz comes back with a clothesline and points to Mizdow but chokes Jimmy instead of tagging. A clothesline puts Miz on the floor and Mizdow runs outside to lay next to him. The double Uso dive takes the heels down and we go to a break. Back with Miz driving Jey into the apron for two.
We hit the chinlock on Jey before it’s back to Mizdown for a snap suplex. He hooks a chinlock of his own before the short DDT gets two. Mizdow tries the running clothesline in the corner but Jey grabs the arm and nails him in the jaw. Jimmy gets the hot tag and cross bodies Miz for two. Everything breaks down and the Usos bust out some twin magic so Jey can roll up Miz for the pin at 10:48.
Rating: C-. See, this is how you bring back an old idea. Yeah the Usos have done this before, but they haven’t used it in a very long time so it feels fresh again. This would be different than just doing the same thing week after week and wondering why it gets a weaker and weaker reaction every week.
Cena and Ziggler shake hands in the back so maybe John has his first recruit.
Here’s Hulk Hogan to reenforce his stance on the anti-cancer side of things. The cancer survivors get in the ring with him and that’s about it.
Bo Dallas comes out for an open challenge.
Bo Dallas vs. Ryback
Ryback appears to be a face again and the fans are WAY behind him. A release gorilla press and spinebuster set up the Meat Hook and Shell Shock for the pin at 1:11. I can totally dig Ryback as the machine again.
We recap the opening segment.
Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose
Before the match, Ambrose gets on the announcers’ table and says he loved what he went through last night. He beat Seth within an inch of his life but found Bray Wyatt waiting on him. The law of the jungle are you don’t mess with someone with sharper claws than you have and you don’t screw with Dean Ambrose. Dean charges into the ring and hammers on Cesaro with the mic. They go up the ramp with Dean destroying Cesaro so no bell and no match.
Ambrose gets in the ring and calls out Bray Wyatt for the beating he deserves. Bray pops up on screen and says that he can’t help but see the deranged affliction on Dean’s face. They’re both victims of a system that makes people cringe at the sight of people like them. But what happens now? They’re not brothers or friends but they’re both a bit odd and that’s a warning to Ambrose.
Nikki Bella vs. Naomi
Naomi quickly takes her down to start but gets caught in an Alabama Slam out of the corner. They head outside for a few seconds so Nikki can ram her into the apron before throwing on a chinlock back inside. Naomi makes her comeback and sends Nikki to the floor but Brie reluctantly cheats to give her sister the advantage, setting up the Rack Attack for the pin at 4:20.
Rating: D. So this whole thing is going to wind up being about either a Bellas reunion or another match at Survivor Series? They can only go so far with Brie being a servant for four weeks, but I’m sure it’s going to be DEVASTATING and a test of her inner character or whatever sounds good for a plot on Total Divas.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Kane
Non-title. Ziggler hammers away to start and gets run over by a clothesline for his efforts. Kane drapes him ribs first over the top rope and we’re already in the chinlock. Ziggler fights up and dropkicks Kane out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Ziggler planting Kane with a DDT but getting nailed by a hard right hand for two.
We’re back to the chinlock for a bit before Ziggler fights up and starts his comeback. The big elbow drop gets two but Dolph charges into the side slam for two. Back up and Kane fights out of the DDT, only to eat a superkick. The Zig Zag is countered and a big boot gets two for Kane. He loads up the chokeslam but gets countered into a sunset flip for the pin at 13:25.
Rating: C. Not bad here as it’s a good power guy vs. a good speed guy. Kane is a shell of his former self but he can still do his basic power stuff well enough when you give him a pinball like Ziggler to bounce all over the place. Nice match though and I like seeing a champion get a win. This is the kind of thing Kane should be doing.
Rollins comes out for the beatdown until Cena makes the save.
John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
Seth went to the back for no apparent reason. Before the match, we have to simulate Lesnar vs. Cena in WWE2K15. After that goes nowhere, we’re ready to go with Rollins still sporting heavily taped ribs. Cena quickly takes him down to start and messes with the bad ribs. The sequence works so well that they do it again before Cena nails a single shot to the ribs to put Rollins on the floor.
This time Cena goes after him and sends him into the barricade before hammering away even more. Seth drives him ribs first into the apron to take over. They head back inside where Mercury gets in a cheap shot before Cena is thrown right back outside. After the Stooges get in their cheap shots, Seth takes Cena back inside and actually stays in for awhile this time. Rollins gets two off a Blockbuster and we take a break.
Back with the fight on the floor and Cena getting all fired up, only to be thrown into the steps. Seth takes him inside again for a chinlock but Cena fights back with his usual. That doesn’t last long either though as Cena is sidestepped to the floor. Rollins’ dive mostly hits but he collisdes with the announcers’ table to bang up the ribs again. Cena breaks up a superplex attempt and gets two off a high cross body, only to get DDT’ed down for the same.
We head outside for about the ninth time so far for some more shots to Cena’s head. Back in and Rollins gets two off the top rope knee to the head before it’s back to the chinlock. Cena rolls out but can’t put on the STF. Instead it’s a dropkick to John’s face but Rollins can’t follow up. Mercury gets in another shot on the floor and Cena has to dive back in to beat the count.
Cena fights back again and throws Rollins onto the Stooges, only to get nailed in the face again for another two count. There’s a tornado DDT for two on Rollins but he flips out of the AA. An enziguri misses Cena but Seth comes back with the standing Sliced Bread #2 for another near fall. Cena’s superplex is countered and Seth charges across the ring for a buckle bomb and an even closer two. The Curb Stomp is countered into the STF but Kane comes in for the DQ at 22:15.
Rating: B. Really solid effort here from both guys but you might as well have advertised it as a DQ in the first place. Rollins continues to be protected and that’s a good thing for his future. The match wasn’t a classic but it did everything it needed to and had the only ending they could go with.
Ziggler comes out for the save and the entire locker room joins him to clean house. Cena AA’s Slater and Dallas before staring down the Authority to end the show.
Overall Rating: C+. Not the best show in the world but they’ve got some interesting stuff coming. Cena recruiting help in the next few weeks should give us some intriguing developments, even though Orton as the last guy is fairly clear. The wrestling tonight wasn’t bad but more importantly they made some necessary changes to freshen things up a bit. It’s not a good show but it gives me hope and the fresh start they’ve needed for a long time now.
Results
Stardust/Goldust b. Big Show/Mark Henry – Stardust pinned Big Show after a World’s Strongest Slam from Henry
AJ Lee b. Alicia Fox – Rollup
Usos b. Miz/Damien Mizdown – Small package to Miz
Ryback b. Bo Dallas – Shell Shock
Nikki Bella b. Naomi – Rack Attack
Dolph Ziggler b. Kane – Sunset flip
John Cena b. Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane interfered
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Monday Night Raw Date: October 20, 2014
Location: Sprint Center, Kansas City, Missouri
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
It’s the go home show for the Cell and we have our double main event all set with Rollins vs. Ambrose in what should be the main event and the first ever rematch inside the Cell with Orton vs. Cena. Other than that there’s some well built but not very interesting stuff, but I’m not sure how well it’s going to hold up on Sunday. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of last week’s events setting up the pay per view.
The Cell is lowered to open the show and here’s the Authority minus Stephanie. With the Cell hanging above the ring, HHH welcomes us to the show and promises us a special episode tonight. For our main event, we’re seeing Kane/Orton/Rollins vs. Ambrose/Cena in a handicap street fight. Well at least there’s a twist now. HHH goes into the traditional speech about how the Cell changes you, even though the violence being toned down makes those lines sound so stupid.
Rollins takes the mic and talks about how much he likes the Mr. Money in the Bank moniker, but a YOU SOLD OUT chant cuts him off. He emphasizes that he’ll be beating Ambrose in the main event on Sunday, but Orton says the real main event will have people involved longer than a cup of coffee.
Orton promises to end the rivalry once and for all (didn’t he already do that?), but HHH cuts him off as well, saying that it’s a double main event. We’re going to one up the Orton vs. Cena match because the winner is getting a World Title shot at some point in the future. Orton gets some cheap heat on the Kansas City Royals and we get Kane’s corner pyro to end the speeches.
We recap Mizdown imitating Sheamus on Main Event and getting a Brogue Kick for his efforts.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Miz/Goldust/Stardust
Why do I bother watching Smackdown again? Miz vs. Sheamus for the title is official for Sunday. Miz swaps out for Mizdow to start so at least it’s something different.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust
Miz jumps in on commentary as the Usos start in on Stardust. Jimmy nails a hard kick to the face for two and it’s already off to Goldust. The heels take over on Jimmy in the corner and get him down to the mat with Stardust kicking him to the floor. We take a break and come back with Goldust slamming Jimmy down for two. Mizdow comes in and tries the running corner clothesline but runs into a boot to the face.
Stardust still won’t let the hot tag and we look at Miz several times. Jimmy scores with a kick to the head and the double tag brings in Sheamus and Mizdow. The champ cleans house but Mizdow snaps his throat across the top to break up the ten forearms. Sheamus powerslams Mizdow but walks into the same from Goldust as everything breaks down. The Usos dive on Goldust, only to have Stardust dive on all of them. Sheamus throws Mizdow onto the pile and Brogue Kicks Stardust, allowing Mizdow to roll him up for the pin (with trunks) at 9:40. Miz: “I WON!”
Rating: D+. Well at least it was something different. The match wasn’t any good though and it’s mainly because we’ve seen this same idea so many times. It drives me crazy that the only way to get to a title match is the same combination over and over again in multi-man matches. Have the Usos or the Dusts fight other teams and do a run-in or something. There are so many ways to get to a match but it’s just the same stuff over and over again. It’s rather tiring. Also: you couldn’t have an Uso take this pin? It just had to be the US Champion?
Orton comes in and thanks HHH for the chance to face Lesnar so he can headline Wrestlemania again. HHH likes the idea but says Seth came up with making Orton vs. Cena for a title shot. Orton is confused but says he’ll go thank Rollins.
Long Wyatt video talking about the Family being free and then Bray saying he’ll never be free but She told him he’ll never be alone. It’s coming.
AJ Lee vs. Alicia Fox
Non-title but AJ is defending against Paige on Sunday. Again. That will be their fifth singles match since the day after Wrestlemania. To put this in context, Lita and Trish fought each other twelve times in over six years. Fox runs her over to start but walks into a sunset flip for two. A big boot puts AJ down for two and the perfect northern lights suplex gets the same.
Fox plants her with a nice tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two more but she spends too much time posing, allowing AJ to start her comeback. AJ is now the One Girl Revolution because even she has to have a slogan. Alicia gets knocked to the floor….and rammed into the barricade by Paige. The champ yells at Paige, allowing Fox to roll her up for the pin at 4:16, because all titles other than the WWE Title mean absolutely nothing.
Rating: D. This match just made me mad. Let’s see: another champion loses via rollup, we’re setting up the fifth match between Paige and AJ in six months, Paige’s “mind games” stopped being interesting months ago, and Alicia’s win probably won’t take her anywhere. What good came from this match?
Orton comes in to see Rollins and Seth says don’t worry about what he did, but Randy is still confused. Apparently it was just being a team player, but Orton tells him to mind his ownbusiness. Rollins talks about how Orton can beat Cena, win the title and then the future just takes care of itself. Did I mention he’s holding the briefcase?
Here’s Orton to the ring for a chat. He talks about being in the Cell (which has been hanging over the ring all night for a nice visual) with Cena before and how they’ve been rivals for twelve years now. Cena was the punk kid from Boston but Orton was third generation wrestling royalty. The fans cheer for Orton so he goes after the Royals again for an easy save. I know people are going to say it’s cheap heat (even I did earlier), but that was a smart move as the fans are always going to boo someone going after their hometown team and it got them off the Orton train for a bit.
Orton talks about the great rivals of the years, such as Piper vs. Hogan, Hart vs. Michaels, Rock vs. Austin and now Orton vs. Cena. He beats John at the Rumble earlier this year and now he’s going to do it again. Orton has never cared about hustle, loyalty and respect and he’ll never fight for what is good.
This brings out Cena to tell Orton to shut up and call Orton a gifted moron. He rips on Orton for talking about the old times and sucks up to Kansas City (again, smart) as we start a baseball discussion. Being in the World Series and winning are two different things, just like Orton being in the match on Sunday. Cena wants to fight the Beast and he’ll see him on Orton’s face this Sunday.
Cue Heyman to call this rewritten history laughable. The class of 2002 featured Randy Orton, John Cena, and the Next Big Thing Brock Lesnar. Brock won the title from the Rock at Summerslam 2002 and is still champion in 2014. Heyman looks up at the Cell and says these two will have the chance to define their legacies (what does that even mean anymore?), but his client has no equal.
The winner of the match on Sunday is the ultimate loser, because he has to face a beast. Heyman has always respected Orton and he may want the title back, but he wants no part of Lesnar. Cena on the other hand wants both the title and the Beast, which makes him a crazy man. John loads Heyman up for the AA but puts him down and takes the RKO. Heyman is pleased but takes the RKO as well to a mixed reaction.
We recap Rusev vs. Big Show from last week, resulting in Henry and Big Show surrounding the Russian for the KO Punch.
Rusev vs. Big E.
Remember when this was a big deal? They do the power lockup to start until Rusev takes him into the corner for some kicks to the ribs. E. comes back with the Vader body attack to send Rusev to the floor, followed by the barricade. Back in and Rusev puts on a front facelock but Big E. powers up. We get an awkward looking sequence where Big E. didn’t seem to be in the right place, capped off by a spinwheel kick to send us to a commercial. Back with E. charging into the kick to the face and the Accolade for the submission at 7:49. The part after the break was about 30 seconds long.
Rating: D. Total squash here to make me sad because I like Big E. He’s the latest victim of the writers and Vince playing with a toy for a few months and then throwing him away for the latest thing. That being said, he can do a good job of making guys like Rusev look good. Nothing to see here other than Lana of course.
Lana calls Big Show a circus freak and loads up the Russian flag but it doesn’t come down. Show pops up on screen and the American flag comes down instead. Rusev goes to pull it down but a “fan” wearing military gear comes in and gets kicked in the face.
Post break Big Show is in the ring with the flag still hanging and an angry look on his face. He finally says you never disrespect an American soldier. Rusev has his attention now because Big Show is an American giant and on Sunday, his fifteen minutes are up. He doesn’t want to wait for Sunday though so Rusev can come out here right now. The Russians don’t come so Show goes to find them. Good promo here that didn’t get overly hammy.
Show goes to the back and asks a backstage worker where Rusev’s room is. Apparently it’s the door marked Rusev so Show kicks it in and finds a suit jacket and bags. Nothing to see here, literally.
Ambrose is eating popcorn and watching a movie when Cena comes in. John wants to know what’s going on. “Just watching See No Evil 2 starring Kane.” They’re going to be a team tonight even though they don’t like each other. Ambrose compares it to Batman and Superman because Cena has a great American jaw. Now Dean may be undefeated in contract on a pole matches, but handicap street fights are his specialty. He’s going to hit everything he can and take down as many as he can. Cena is cool with that but thinks Ambrose is more Joker than Batman. Dean: “Why so serious?”
Stephanie has won some award about Dwight Eisenhower.
Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae
We’re getting serious here: pale pink vs. hot pink. Brie sends her into the corner to start as Nikki is watching in the back. Summer gets two off a clothesline and we hit the chinlock. Bella finally breaks it up with an armdrag after wasting a minute of our time. We get the basic face comeback and BRIE MODE! Summer avoids a middle rope dropkick, gets caught in a second attempt and the Bella Buster is good for the pin at 3:42, meaning we get to hear the most obnoxious song opening in years.
Rating: F. A minute long chinlock in a four minute match. The Divas are just a disaster at this point with Paige vs. AJ having a ridiculously overhyped feud (it started good and now it’s just the same stuff for months on end) and Brie Bella as the only thing resembling a face in the division. How bad can this actu…..I’m not finishing that question because it can somehow get worse.
Here’s Ambrose with a big bag over his shoulders. He sets a chair in the ring and looks up at the Cell, saying he’s been dreaming about getting his hands on Rollins. This Sunday he gets the half hair dyed Power Rangers suit wearing sellout inside the Cell. Dean goes to the bag and pulls out….a Seth Rollins mannequin. He sits it in the chair and says that Rollins never liked getting his hands dirty, so the first thing he’ll do in the Cell is rip off Seth’s arms. That’s exactly what he does to the mannequin before screwing it over just like Seth did to him, although Dean uses a screwdriver.
Then he hammers (using a hammer as you should be getting the idea by now) the point home and talks about what he saw (hand saw in this case) in a dream last night: him cutting Seth’s testicles off inside the Cell. “Oh wait. You already sold those to the Authority.” He tongs Seth’s crotch (“You don’t need to have kids anyway.”) and DDTs it for good measure.
This brings out Seth and the new Stooges for a rebuttal. Seth calls the dummy an opponent that Dean can connect with on an intellectual level. Dean can never beat Ambrose, but maybe he can have a comedy career opening for Gallagher. Dean says let’s give Seth a hand (which is exactly what he does) but Rollins stops to address the YOU SOLD OUT chants. He’s a midwestern guy just like them but that’s where the similarities end. None of the losers here will ever know what it’s like to be Seth Rollins. Yeah he sold out the Shield but so what.
Dean busts out a power drill and wants to fight right now. Seth seems interested….and here’s Mick Foley. He’s here to visit an old friend and congratulate both guys on their success. His kids raved about seeing the Shield in action and he had to see them raise the bar. Foley isn’t around much but he always watches Raw and Smackdown. He even subscribes to the WWE Network for an undisclosed monthly amount. Foley has pictured the match on Sunday and sees almost no way Ambrose can win.
Seth insults Foley’s Santa Claus beard but Foley says he said Ambrose doesn’t win in most ordinary scenarios. However, that Cell isn’t an ordinary scenario. Yeah he’s wearing a Santa Claus shirt and he has for 300 consecutive days now. It’s one of the few things that he hasn’t had ripped away from him and he still can hold it in his heart. The scars from the Cell are the ones inside you and he’s lost so much because of it. He invites Rollins to look at his missing tooth and the fans offer Foley their thanks.
Dean says no one gets him but Mick Foley might come close. Ambrose is ready for the Cell but he doesn’t think Rollins is quite there. Seth says both guys are out of their minds but winning has nothing to do with being crazy. He knows Ambrose better than everyone and Dean is out of his mind. He’ll win on Sunday because he’s just better than Dean could ever hope to be.
Foley quotes Nietzsche by saying what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. “With all due respect though, Frederick Nietzsche was never thrown off a Cell!” Foley doesn’t think either guy is ready for life after the Cell, but just like everyone here in Kansas City, they’re getting what they’ve wanted all their lives. Have a nice day. Rollins bails and gets hit with a mannequin. Good and long segment here with Ambrose being just different enough to keep things from getting boring.
Cesaro says he’ll be a better Intercontinental Champion than Ziggler could ever be. “Cesaro out.” I kind of like that one.
Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler
Non-title here before the title match on Sunday. Cesaro easily takes him down to start and gets two off a shoulder. We hit the chinlock as Cole talks about these two fighting on Twitter. JBL: “Back in my day we fought over beer and chicks.” Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and a clothesline to put Cesaro on the floor. A big uppercut drops Dolph and we take a break.
Back with Cesaro countering a sunset flip into a gorilla press gutbuster for two. A middle rope ax handle and splash (from the middle of the ropes instead of the corner) get two more and we hit the chinlock. Dolph makes his comeback and counters a tiger bomb into a faceplant for two. Back up and Cesaro throws him into the air for Swiss Death and the pin at 9:28.
Rating: D+. Three matches, three champions get pinned. That would be Dolph’s fourth straight pinfall loss and I’d bet he wins on Sunday to make it all better because we’re just supposed to forget these losses. One thing I really liked here: Cole identified both guys for people who might be first time watchers. All he had to say was “Ziggler with the blond hair on your right, Cesaro on your left.” It took three seconds and might have cleared up some unsure viewers. I love little things like that.
Cesaro Neutralizes him post match for good measure.
The Authority is arguing in the back until HHH comes in to yell at them. Kane is officially the captain for the street fight so he takes over the yelling at his partners.
MizdowTV is the pre-show special this month. Remember when it was a wrestling match?
Hell in a Cell by the numbers:
20 feet high
5 tons
½ mile of steel
10/5/1997 – The first match
6 men in one match in 2000
6 victories by Undertaker and HHH
6 times Orton has been in the Cell
47:26 is the longest Cell match (HHH vs. HBK at Bad Blood 2003)
11 men who have won in the Cell
12 times Undertaker has been in the Cell
78,363 people who watched at Wrestlemania XXVIII
29 men who have entered
18 who have only done it once
2 matches this year
Same Wyatt video from earlier.
Dean Ambrose/John Cena vs. Authority
Handicap street fight. Cena has the serious black shorts on tonight. Huge brawl to start and we get the required “let’s follow the rules before realizing there are no rules” period. Dean stomps on Seth’s ribs and pulls at his hair before knocking Kane to the floor. They head outside and fight at the table with Cena cleaning house. Dean dives on the pile and makes things interesting with a chair. A few shots to the back put Seth down and it’s already table time. Everything breaks down on the floor and we take a break.
Back with Rollins putting Dean in a chinlock before Randy draped him across the top rope. It’s already back to Rollins as things settle down and get very unstreet fightish. Orton teases Dean by letting him crawl halfway across the ring before starting the Garvin Stomp. Dean fights back with right hands and a missile dropkick to put both guys down. There’s the hot tag to Cena and Kane takes the AA.
Here’s another table since the first one disappeared during the break. Rollins escapes the AA through the table and sends Cena head first into a chair in the corner. Kane and Orton send Dean into the steps as this is finally feeling like a street fight. Now the table is set up in the corner but Seth opts for a standing Sliced Bread #2 on Cena for two. Back to the floor with Cena going into the steps and then the post. Kane takes him back inside and sends him through the table in the corner.
The Cell comes down and Dean dives under just in time. The hot tag brings in Dean to dive on all three again. A dropkick puts Rollins into the cage and the Rebound Clothesline drops Orton. Dean finds a kendo stick to wear out Orton before throwing in another chair. A Cactus Jack elbow with the chair nails Orton again but Dean has to hit Kane with the chair. Orton and Rollins are sent to the floor and Randy looks frustrated. The suicide dive nails Rollins and everyone heads back inside for finishers, with Orton RKOing Dean for the pin at 18:28.
Rating: D+. The action was decCent but there was zero need for this to be a street fight. I kept waiting for the violence to kick in but it was almost all about the Cell being brought down at the end. This is a constant thing WWE does and it never stops getting on my nerves: if you want to have a handicap tag then have a handicap tag. I’m ok with Ambrose getting pinned as it wasn’t a fair match and at least it wasn’t by Kane. Side note: Cena has the worst attention span in wrestling history. He forgot Lesnar like a day after getting screwed out of the title win and now has forgotten Rollins after losing a single match.
Rollins Curb Stomps Orton for a surprise before posing on the Cell to end the show.
Overall Rating: D. This show was all over the place. Above all, they had most of the midcard champions lose and not much new added for Sunday. The one thing they did add though can tie us back to the World Title scene, which hasn’t gotten a lot of attention yet. I like that they’re having the Orton vs. Cena match mean something because it’s almost impossible to care about it again.
The match will likely be ok but dear goodness I don’t want to see it. There’s a lot of stuff going on and thankfully they’re starting to tie it together. Rollins vs. Ambrose better main event the show though as Orton and Cena just do not need the spot. Bad show but at least it was trying.
Results
Damien Mizdow/Goldust/Stardust b. Usos/Sheamus – Rollup with a handful of trunks to Sheamus
Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee – Rollup
Rusev b. Big E. – Accolade
Brie Bella b. Summer Rae – Bella Buster
Cesaro b. Dolph Ziggler – Swiss Death
Authority b. John Cena/Dean Ambrose – RKO to Ambrose
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at: