Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: October 13, 2014
Coming off of last week, I really wasn’t looking forward to this week’s show. Things have been so boring in WWE lately and they almost have to turn around for the sake of my sanity. On the other hand, the theme this week seemed to be reality TV with Todd Chrisley of Chrisley Knows Best and some Real Housewife on the show. I’m sure this is going to go well. Let’s get to it.
We open with the now usual Ambrose and Cena showdown. This time it was Ambrose starting things off and wanting to deal with Cena so he could get to the showdown with Rollins. Cena came down and told Dean to shut up before he ran his mouth off and blew the biggest match of his life. Authority, tag match, it’s next.
The tag match was actually a three way this time with the unlikely duo fighting the Usos and the Dusts. This was a nice, long fifteen minute match that took its sweet time to get going but finally found its groove. The idea was the Authority kept waiting for the makeshift team to implode but Cena wound up AAing Goldust for the pin. This was the first in a long series of matches that got time and surprised me by how good it was. Cena and Ambrose vs. the Usos on their own for about seventeen minutes sounds good.
The Authority came out post match and made the Cena vs. Ambrose contract on a pole match for later tonight. I like this better, though I would have put it next week instead of next week. There’s no need to waste the fifteen minutes of PPV time to set the match up when you can do it here just fine. It also makes it easier to build a PPV when you have established main events.
Layla walked out on AJ Lee in a tag match but AJ pinned Alicia (partner of Paige) with a Shining Wizard. This was more of the same stuff we’ve seen for months from them.
Orton was granted his request of facing the loser of the contract match. They never said loser and called it “the other guy” but it’s a nice way making it sound better.
Orton beat Ziggler in another long match with a really good ending of Orton throwing Ziggler out of a powerbomb and into an RKO. That being said, there were other people that could have jobbed for Orton instead of Ziggler. I mean, it’s not like Kofi is doing anything is he? No it just had to be the Intercontinental Champion right? This is where WWE misusing its huge roster gets on my nerves.
Rollins came in after the match and gave Ziggler a Curb Stomp. The idea was that Rollins was trying to one up Orton, which carried into the next match where Rollins beat Jack Swagger in an easier match. Orton gave Jack an RKO for good measure. You can see Orton is about to turn face and it’s working really well.
Rusev and Big Show had their big showdown but Mark Henry ran in and caused a DQ. This is pretty clearly setting up another match at the PPV where Rusev gets his big win clean. Show knocked Rusev out cold after the match because he’s a sore loser.
The Chrisley Knows Best family was in the front row and their appearance was little more than a plug for the show. I have no interest in watching it but Chrisley came off as a nice guy who wanted to raise his kids well. I can’t make jokes about that.
Sheamus beat up Miz but lost by countout. See, now why couldn’t Orton have done that to Ziggler? Losing by countout is fine as Sheamus got carried away and distracted rather than getting pinned, even by a fluke.
The Total Divas met up with the housewife chick and Cameron had a stuck up chick off with her. Six Divas tag, you know the drill. Standard guest star appearance.
The new Wyatt video showed him alone and talking about Abigail as he kept saying it’s coming. Creepy stuff indeed but it worked.
Ambrose won the contract when Cena had to fight off the Authority in a dull match. This was what I expected it to be and didn’t really go anywhere new. Ambrose had to win it though.
Raw was FAR better this week as they cut out the stupid stuff and had a wrestling show. I know you can’t do this every week, but it’s nice to see something fresh for a change. When WWE cuts out all the goofiness and just lets the stories tell themselves, they make things way easier to sit through. It’s a good show this week and exactly what was needed after last week’s mess.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – October 13, 2014: Remember Last Week? Well Forget All Of That.
Monday Night Raw Date: October 13, 2014
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
We had cancer week last week, so this time it’s REALITY WEEK! Tonight there are two reality stars appearing on the show with Nene Leakes of the Real Housewives of Atlanta and Todd Chrisley of Chrisley Knows Best. Why I’m supposed to care about either of these people is beyond me, but you and I both know they can’t top HODA’S CRAZY DANCE! Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Authority making Ambrose vs. Cena for the right to face Rollins inside the Cell.
Here’s Ambrose to get things going. Dean says there’s nothing he’d like more than being locked inside the Cell with Seth Rollins. To be locked inside there with all that metal and steel so he can hurt Seth Rollins so bad that he wishes he never met Ambrose. But first there’s a certain fifteen time WWE Champion to deal with and here’s Cena to respond.
Cena says Ambrose needs to relax because the match is made and it’s in two weeks in Dallas. The people want to see it though because they know both guys have a chance to get their hands on Rollins. Cena offers a little advice: shut up until the pay per view and use the two weeks to get ready for the biggest match of his career when Cena breaks him.
Dean says thanks bit brother but he was born ready. Ambrose wants to drop Cena right now but John tells him to drop it because Ambrose is in way over his head. Dean drops the mic and cracks his knuckles but here’s the Authority. Short version: the match is on the Network in two weeks, it costs $9.99, they’re in a tag match against the Usos and the Dusts. The Authority even make a bet on if they’ll fight each other or not.
Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos vs. Dean Ambrose/John Cena
Dean and Jimmy get things going with Ambrose cranking on the arm. Off to Cena to stay on the armbar as the fans aren’t pleased with John. Jimmy slips over and tags in his brother who eats a clothesline for two. Cena and Ambrose keep working well together and don’t seem to have many issues with each other.
Jey slips out of the AA and grabs a top wristlock, only to get dropkicked back down. The slow arm work continues as the fans want Stardust. Ambrose finally gets in off the tag and hammers on Jimmy with right hands and the ReBound Clothesline to send him outside. Stardust gets in a shot of his own and we take a break.
Back with Stardust raking Jimmy’s back and tagging off to his corner for a double stomp in the corner. Stardust quickly comes back in and cranks on Jimmy’s arms. Jimmy finally sends the Dusts into each other but Goldust pulls Jey off the apron just in time. Ambrose goes after Goldust but Jey is able to tag in Cena.
John cleans house but Stardust flips out of the AA. Goldust comes in with a powerslam but Goldust eats a superkick. The double dive takes out the Dusts and Cena dives on all four of them. Ambrose won’t be left out and dives on all five for an even bigger crash. He throws Cena and Goldust inside where the makeshift team hits stereo finishers for the pin at 14:50.
Rating: C+. As usual with long tag matches like this, the match got way better after the break but the first part wasn’t any good. It was a bunch of boring arm work until we got to the second half where things sped up. Cena and Ambrose diving were nice visuals as it’s not something they bust out all that often. Good match but the first half is hard to sit through.
Post match the Authority comes out so HHH can pay off the bet ($1) to Stephanie. HHH thinks Ambrose and Cena really want to get at each other, so why not just do the contract match tonight? Cena and Ambrose stare each other down and the match is official.
We look at Big Show knocking Rusev out last month.
AJ Lee/Layla vs. Paige/Alicia Fox
AJ says she doesn’t like any of the Divas but she dislikes Layla the least. They can get along for one night at least. Alicia nails AJ with a quick tilt-a-whirl backbreaker before it’s off to Paige for some skipping. AJ chases her around but it’s quickly off to Alicia to miss a boot in the corner. Layla walks out on a tag attempt so AJ hits a quick Shining Wizard to pin Alicia at 1:51.
Layla gets beaten up for good measure.
We see Big Show ripping down the Russian flag.
Orton comes in to see the Authority and says he wants the loser of Ambrose and Cena. The bosses approve.
Rowan is free video.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Randy Orton
Non-title and Cesaro is on commentary. Ziggler knocks him out to the floor to start and sends Orton face first into the steps. Back in and Orton gets two off a slam but walks into a dropkick. Orton knocks him back to the apron but gets pulled outside and sent into the barricade. They head back in again but Orton takes too long to gloat and gets dropkicked off the apron. Rollins comes out to the ramp with the briefcase for some reason and we take a break.
Back with Ziggler in a headlock and actually not fighting out immediately. A catapult sends Ziggler into the buckle for two and Orton puts him on the top rope for some headbutts. Dolph fights out of a superplex attempt but gets crotched before he can follow up. Now the superplex connects for two but Orton can barely follow up. Dolph makes his comeback with right hands and a running neckbreaker followed by an elbow drop for two.
Randy blocks a superkick and gets another two count off the snap powerslam. Ziggler counters the RKO (which was set up to a face pop), can’t hit the Fameasser and counters another RKO into the superkick for two. The Zig Zag is countered so Dolph tries the Fameasser, only to get countered into a powerbomb position. Orton throws him into the air and pulls him down into the RKO for the pin at 19:25. Rollins never was a factor.
Rating: B. That ending was awesome as Orton keeps coming up with creative ways to hit the RKO. It really seems like they’re setting up a face turn for him as he spent half the match playing to the crowd and may have been trying to outshine Rollins. It’s good stuff and I’ve always found Orton more interesting as a face than a heel. On the other hand, that’s Ziggler’s second clean loss in four days.
Post match Rollins gives Ziggler a Curb Stomp, likely setting up Ziggler’s third straight loss on Smackdown.
Seth Rollins vs. Jack Swagger
Rollins flips over Swagger’s shoulder to start and we’re already at a standoff. He misses a clothesline though and bails to the floor as we’ve barely had any contact yet. Swagger goes after Seth and gets his neck snapped across the top rope to finally get things going. Seth starts working on the arm and cranks on it a bit until Jack fights up with a clothesline. They head outside for another clothesline to Rollins but he gets in a shot of his own. Orton comes out to watch as Seth goes inside for a suicide dive to drop Swagger.
Back from a break with Rollins hitting a great looking enziguri for two and dropping some knees to the ribs. A kick to the back has Swagger in trouble but Rollins stops to yell at Orton. Seth cranks on the arm again but gets caught in a wheelbarrow suplex out of the corner for two. Swagger gets two more off the Vader Bomb before catching Rollins in the powerslam for another two count.
Jack takes out the knee and puts on the Patriot Lock, only to get rolled into the corner. Another Patriot Lock attempt is countered and the low superkick puts Jack down. The Curb Stomp is countered into another Patriot Lock but Seth makes the ropes. Seth is sent into the post but he counters a suplex into a rollup with a handful of tights for the pin at 15:05.
Rating: C+. Not a great match here but there’s only so much they can do with this concept. Rollins looked good and that’s all he was supposed to do so the match worked well enough. Swagger is the same guy he was before, which gets annoying at times but at least he has a fresh battery to absorb so many of his losses.
Orton RKOs Swagger post match and gets in Rollins face. They talk trash but no violence comes.
Ambrose says don’t expect him to be a nice guy tonight because that’s not his style. He’s bringing it to Cena and going off to get Rollins.
Big Show talks about how he’s going to fight for America tonight and how the weight of America is on his shoulders. That’s fine, because he has the biggest shoulders around.
Rusev vs. Big Show
Before the match Lana rips on America for celebrating Columbus Day and gets cheap heat off the Atlanta Braves. Rusev promises to crush Big Show and we’re ready to go. Show kicks him in the face to start and the USA chants begin. They head outside with Rusev being whipped into the barricade as it’s one sided so far. Some chops send Rusev back to the floor and Show steps on his head.
More chops (complete with the Braves’ Tomhawk Chop) start a USA chant until Rusev busts out a dropkick to stop Big Show cold. He nailed him right in the jaw too. Rusev stomps on the back and clotheslines Big Show out to the floor as we take a break. Back with Big Show slowly fighting out of a side choke but missing a middle rope elbow. Rusev puts on another choke but gets dropped by a slam. The KO Punch misses and Rusev kicks him in the ribs. The Accolade goes on and here’s Mark Henry. Mark gets knocked off the apron to break the hold but Rusev puts it right back on, drawing in Henry for the DQ at 14:09.
Rating: D+. This was slightly better than I was expecting and a minor miracle given how long it went. Big Show getting upset over this is going to be dull and it’s going to lead to Show vs. Henry yet again. Rusev hopefully gets to move on to someone other than a super heavyweight for awhile because there’s only so much more he can do against them.
Show seems to forgive Henry for what he did as the Russian flag comes down. Henry and Show surround the Russians so Rusev comes out swinging against Henry, only to get dropped by the KO Punch.
Sheamus hasn’t been feeling good since last week. The solution: two Brogue Kicks.
Ad for Chrisley Knows Best. The family is in the front row tonight and say how awesome it is to be here. They hype the new season and that’s about it. Simple and inoffensive plug for a show and nowhere near as bad as I was expecting.
Sheamus vs. The Miz
Non-title. Miz’s entrance now has the lights go out for a much better effect. Miz runs to start but decks Sheamus as they get back inside. Sheamus easily fights back and throws Miz onto Mizdow, who mimics everything Miz does, even throwing punches (albeit with the wrong arm). Miz cranks on a chinlock as the fans want Mizdow.
The pale one makes a comeback and hammers away in the corner but misses a knee in the corner. Miz kicks the knee out an dhits the short DDT for two. Sheamus knocks him out to the floor and Mizdow runs over and falls down and hold his knee right along with Miz. Both guys go under the ring and Sheamus pulls out the wrong one, giving Miz a countout win at 5:16.
Rating: D+. Mizdown is going to be another big face turn sa the fans are getting into him for how hard he’s working on this stunt double thing. Best of all, it’s something new that he’s done to revitalize his career after falling through the floor over the last year. I’m assuming Miz gets his title shot at the PPV.
The Total Divas go up to see the Real Housewife of Atlanta when the evil Total Divas show up. Cameron and the reality chick have a Diva off and that’s about it. I’m sure we’ll see more.
Nikki Bella/Cameron/Summer Rae vs. Brie Bella/Natalya/Naomi
Rosa is in the latter team’s corner and Nene Leakes comes out to join her. Natalya shoves Cameron into the corner to start as Cole recaps Total Divas from last night. The heels take over on Natalya with Nikki cranking on a front facelock. Summer misses a legdrop and Brie comes in off the ice cold tag. Everything breaks down and Brie flips out of the Rack and gets the pin off the Bella 3:41.
Rating: D. Figure this one out for yourselves. Next.
Cena gives his usual fired up promo talking about how the showdown with Ambrose is going to be violent and against the Authority’s wishes.
New Wyatt video with the Family disappearing and Bray talking about how she told him he’d never be alone. He’s going to leave a path of smoke and destruction throughout the world. He says it’s coming and smoke fills the barn as he sits in his rocking chair.
The Authority comes out to watch.
John Cena vs. Dean Ambrose
Contract on a pole and the Authority, Rollins, Orton and Kane are all at ringside. Ambrose stomps away in the corner to start but Cena easily stops his climb. Four straight suplexes drop Ambrose but he blocks Cena’s bulldog. Dean has a chance at the contract but goes outside to slug it out with Cena. He suplexes Cena on the stage but messes up his own back, allowing Cena to get down to the ring for an electric chair save.
Both finishers are countered and Cena puts on the STF. Ambrose finally figures out to bite the hand to escape and dropkicks Cena to the floor. He still doesn’t climb and launches a suicide dive instead but goes over to nail Kane for some reason. The Authority is about to fight Ambrose but Cena nails Dean and throws him into the Authority. Orton comes in and goes after Cena (no DQ remember) as everyone gets inside. Ambrose sends Rollins outside and Kane eats an AA, allowing Dan to grab the contract for the win at 6:27.
Rating: C-. This was a mess but they had to protect both guys. It’s not a terrible match or anything but it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a way to set up the two Cell matches. And yes, one of those matches is going to be Cena vs. Orton XXXIV or so. Seriously I don’t think that’s much of an exaggeration.
The two matches stare each other down to end the show.
Overall Rating: B. This was the opposite of last week with a HEAVY focus on wrestling and very little stupid stuff. Yeah there’s the Divas stuff with the reality chick but that was about five minutes combined. I was dreading the reality stuff all night and the show actually won me over with some long matches and good seeds being planted for future stories. Really solid show this week and a huge relief after last week’s disaster.
Results
John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. Usos and Goldust/Stardust – AA to Goldust
AJ Lee/Layla b. Alicia Fox/Paige – Shining Wizard to Fox
Randy Orton b. Dolph Ziggler – RKO
Seth Rollins b. Jack Swagger – Rollup with a handful of tights
Rusev b. Big Show via DQ when Mark Henry interfered
Miz b. Sheamus via DQ when Mark Henry interfered
Brie Bella/Naomi/Natalya b. Nikki Bella/Cameron/Summer Rae – Bella Buster to Nikki Bella
Dean Ambrose b. John Cena – Ambrose pulled down the contract
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: October 6, 2014
This week’s show was a very strange mix of comedy, cancer, hot dogs and HODA’S CRAZY DANCE. You don’t know what HODA’S CRAZY DANCE is? Well you’re in for a treat because HODA’S CRAZY DANCE involves middle aged women drinking wine, dancing, and Hoda being CRAZY. Oh yeah and there’s some other stuff. Let’s get to it.
Rollins opened the show to talk about what Cena and Ambrose did to him last week. He knows he’s a marked man and wants Ambrose to come out here right now. This brings out a charging Cena for a fight and Rollins runs into the crowd. Since this is wrestling, Ambrose is right there in the crowd waiting for him. They brawled back to ringside where Cena got his hands on Rollins again until Ambrose dove on both of them, allowing Seth to escape. The Authority came in and made Cena/Ambrose vs. Orton/Kane/Rollins. Decent but I’m getting tired of these handicaps.
We recap Big Show and Rusev. Big Show had to undergo sensitivity training, which thankfully we only heard about.
Ziggler and the Usos beat the Dusts and Cesaro. My goodness how many times do we have to sit through combinations of these matches before we get to the Cell?
John Cena was on the Today Show to talk about the breast cancer stuff.
AND NOW IT IS TIME! Kathy Lee and Hoda from the Today Show came out as Rosebuds to sit at a table and drink wine (apparently it’s a thing they do on their show). They talk about how much fun they like to have and how crazy they can get. Kathy is happy because they can be crazy here unlike on the Today Show, so Hoda does HER CRAZY DANCE! It’s just her lifting her arms in the air and dancing in a circle and the fans react as well as you would expect. They do the Adam Rose apron fall and that’s it. No breast cancer awareness talk, no interaction with anyone from Rose, nothing.
This is the kind of stupid pandering that wrestling fans get tired of. The entire segment felt like a waste of time and little more than trying to get middle aged women to watch Raw. Here’s the problem with that: yeah you might get eighteen bored housewives to watch your show for five minutes, but how many of your regular viewers do you think changed over to Monday Night Football or ANYTHING else to not have to watch this? It wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, and it feels so totally out of place that it’s not worth bringing these two in.
Same Luke Harper video from last week.
Mark Henry destroyed Bo Dallas again but got counted out. Nothing to see here.
Cena and Ambrose had their big talking segment and said they didn’t want to hate each other but would go after the other if they had a reason. Cena wanted to bury the hatchet for one night but Ambrose said he was hungry and was going to Coney Island for a hot dog. These two aren’t going to have a big emotional fight, but the match should rock either way.
Ambrose got on a subway and left the arena. HHH caught up with Cena and said Rollins would have to start the match so Cena could get his hands on him at least once. HHH’s “Man, kids these days” line made me laugh.
Brie Bella beat Summer Rae with an arm tied behind her back. Again, nothing to see here.
Miz and Mizdow sucked up to Kane with a fruit basket and got a match with Sheamus as a result.
Jack Swagger beat Tyson Kidd with the Patriot Lock because Natalya wouldn’t help Kidd near the end. I have no idea where this story is going and I really don’t care.
Edge and Christian have a special after Raw on the Network but don’t have much to say about it. I need to watch that.
Roman Reigns was live via satellite to say he’ll be back soon. Again, nothing to see here.
Now we get to the bad part of the show. Like, the REALLY bad part of the show: El Torito vs. Mini Gator. This wasn’t funny, it wasn’t interesting, it didn’t have the Bunny (yeah it’s stupid, but are you telling me he’s not about a thousand times more interesting than these two?) and even the announcers ripped on it.
Rusev came out and got cut off by the Rock. I already wrote about this in detail so go here to read why this wasn’t a bad thing:
AJ walked out on Emma, causing her to lose to Paige and Alicia Fox. Why that makes AJ more of a face isn’t really clear but I’m sure it involves MIND GAMES. They should just air parts of Michaels vs. Mankind from Mind Games whenever these segments are on.
Erick Rowan has been set free as well. The interesting part of this was a shot of a pregnant woman with the words IT’S COMING written on her stomach. I’ve heard rumors about this and I like where it could be going.
Miz beat Sheamus with a rollup, likely setting up their next feud. There were several pro-Sandow chants here which could lead to something.
Joan Lunden, another cancer fighting journalist, came out to praise cancer survivors in the audience. Yeah it’s cool, but good night do these things bring the show down.
A Real Housewife of Atlanta is going to guest star next week. Dear goodness this is going to suck.
Cena beat the Authority via DQ when they triple teamed him. Ambrose made the save with a Coney Island hot dog cart and condiments were spilled. The good guys cleaned house until HHH came out and made Cena vs. Ambrose at the PPV with the winner getting Rollins inside the Cell. I like the idea and it gives us a way around a stupid triple threat. Ambrose laid out Cena to a huge reaction to end the show.
This show was all over the place. The main event storyline is interesting but these handicap matches are getting old in a hurry. We’ve seen every possible combination of these matches and almost all of them end up in a DQ. We get the idea already and there’s nothing new that they can say with them. Thankfully there’s a match for the PPV now, but there’s still more work to do with it. Ambrose almost has to go over Cena and then Rollins if they want him to have legs though.
Then you have Rock and Rusev, which likely isn’t setting anything up but how many people has Rock ever complimented in a promo? That’s some rare air and Rock gave him a great rub. “BUT RUSEV DIDN’T CRUSH HIM!” No, he didn’t, and people thinking he should have make me shake my head.
Above all else though, we have the celebrity stuff which is what drove this show off the rails. Look, I get why WWE is doing all their cancer charity stuff and, while it’s heavy handed, at least it’s designed to raise money for a good cause (and for WWE to go “LOOK AT US! WE’RE DOING SOMETHING GOOD!”).
That being said, these speeches just bring the show to a grinding halt. They make anything after feel awkward because you have these thoughts in your head about people dying of a horrible disease and how serious it is. That makes it kind of hard to care about a 6’5 pale guy shouting FELLA you know? I get why WWE does these things and yeah they’re important, but they’re so out of place on a WWE show. The fact that they’re all over the show doesn’t help things either.
Overall Raw this week had way more bad than good, but the good stuff has me excited. Things will get better once we get to November and can drop the cancer stuff. Hopefully the celebrities go with them because having a Real Housewife and that Chrisley Knows Best guy don’t make me want to keep watching. They make me want to go write about how much I hate reality TV and miss interesting wrestling. That’s a bad thing to have your fans saying but WWE seems to like the idea. Or maybe USA does but it’s the same result.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – October 6, 2014: Ketchup, Cancer and THE ROCK
Monday Night Raw Date: October 6, 2014
Location: Barclays Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Jerry Lawler, Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re in the big city tonight and there are some potential big names in the house. I mean I’m talking KATHY LEE GIFFORD to tell us that breast cancer is bad here people. That’s WWE’s big deal at the moment: “Look at us! We’re doing charity work!” If you didn’t know that going in, don’t worry because WWE is going to tell you once every five minutes. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Dean Ambrose giving away a bunch of shirts and sliming Seth Rollins with the Money in the Bank briefcase.
Here’s Rollins to take over the show to start. He rants about how what Ambrose did last week wasn’t funny and demands to show the real clip from last week: Ambrose being curb stomped onto the briefcase. Rollins wants Ambrose to fight right now but he gets the new Stooges instead, telling him he needs to leave. Seth knows he’s a marked man and that’s just what he wants. Instead Cena charges out and chases Rollins into the crowd.
Seth stands there shouting at Cena and of course Ambrose is right behind him. Dean chases him into the ring and Cena gets in a few shots of his own, only to have Ambrose dive on both of them, allowing Rollins to escape. HHH and Stephanie come out and say this isn’t going to happen tonight. They ask the fans if they want to see Ambrose and Cena get their hands on Rollins. The fans of course agree so it’s Ambrose/Cena vs. Rollins/Kane/Orton tonight.
We recap Big Show’s apology on Smackdown for ripping down the Russian flag. Show has been undergoing sensitivity training and will be forced to listen to the Russians’ response tonight.
Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust vs. Usos/Dolph Ziggler
Before the match we get an inset promo from the Usos, imitating the Dusts’ weird stuff. Their tag line: bros before weirdos. Before the bell, the Dusts send Jey’s shoulder into the steps, giving us roughly the 4958th shoulder injury of the year. Stardust hammers away on Jey and the bad shoulder to start before it’s off to Goldust and then Cesaro to stay on the injury. The fans want Ziggler as Cole reads off a cryptic message from Goldust. Off to Jimmy who chops Cesaro down in the corner and hits the Running Umaga Attack. Everything breaks down and Cesaro throws Dolph into the steps as we take a break.
Back with Stardust holding Jey in an abdominal stretch before it’s off to Cesaro for Ziggler’s elbow. Jey finally escapes and makes the hot tag to Ziggler to fire up the fans. Dolph speeds things up and spins around Cesaro to grab a sleeper. Cesaro is in trouble but escapes, only to get caught by a Fameasser. Everything breaks down again and the Usos dive onto the Dusts. Back inside Cesaro nails Ziggler with an uppercut for two as Jimmy makes the save. Stardust comes in off a blind tag and gets two off a reverse DDT. A triple superkick knockd Stardust silly and the Superfly Splash from Jimmy gets the pin at 12:15.
Rating: C+. Good match here but I’m sick of seeing these combinations fight. It’s a solid choice for an opener and the triple superkick looked good. We’re getting the two title matches at Hell in a Cell, but could we have another way to build them up, or some different opponents for a change?
John Cena was on the Today Show earlier today to talk about breast cancer. Two of the hosts will be here next.
Here are Hoda and Kathy Lee (the fourth hour hosts of the Today Show) with as Rosebuds. The girls come out in Ric Flair style robes and get in the ring to sit in chairs and drink Kathy Lee champagne. They suck up to the fans a bit and Hoda does her “crazy dance”. They break bottles over each other and this is just dying. The girls fall onto the Rosebuds off the apron….very slowly. If there was ANY point to this, it went right over my head.
Luke Harper video. I believe it’s the same one from last week.
Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas
Henry lost to Dallas twice last week and has suffered an emotional breakdown after what happened with Rusev. Mark destroys him to start as you would expect and sends him into the announcers’ table. He tosses Bo into the barricade and loads up the table, only to have Dallas escape the World’s Strongest Slam and beat the count back in for the win at 1:50.
We recap the opening segment.
Here’s Ambrose to talk about not being thrilled with having Cena as his partner again tonight. We see a clip of Cena leaving him on Smackdown and Dean says he told Cena to not give him a reason to hate him. Ambrose wants Cena out here right now to talk about this and that’s exactly what he gets.
Cena takes a few mild jabs at the Brooklyn crowd’s response before talking about Ambrose diving on him earlier in the night. He says Ambrose understands his actions and leaves, but Dean says they don’t care about each other. If there’s one thing about each other, it’s that they don’t care what others think of them.
Maybe they can get along for one night, but Dean has no problem dropping Cena right now and fighting the Authority by himself. Cena gets back in and says Ambrose tried that already and got his head driven into cinder blocks. He likes that Ambrose does what he wants, but there are consequences for that. Cena says he can drop Ambrose right here and warns Dean not to give him a reason to not like him. Ambrose responds by saying he’s hungry and is going to Coney Island to grab a hot dog before leaving.
During the break, Ambrose left and got on a subway.
HHH comes up to Cena in the back. “Man, kids these days.” He basically laughs at Cena but John says he’s ready to go and will take out the Authority tonight. HHH likes his moxie and says Rollins will have to start the match tonight.
Brie Bella vs. Summer Rae
Brie is fighting with one arm tied behind her back like Nikki had to because this feud is still going. Summer kicks her a lot to start but a Layla distraction goes bad, allowing Brie to hit a running knee to the chest for the pin at 1:55.
Miz and Mizdow give Kane a fruit basket to apologize for their harsh words last week. Mizdow mouths every word Miz says a few seconds later. Kane doesn’t buy it and makes Miz vs. Sheamus for tonight. Mizdow takes the basket back.
Jack Swagger vs. Tyson Kidd
Kidd is taken into the corner to start but flips out to escape. He heads outside and hides behind Natalya so he can kick Swagger in the face but Natalya isn’t pleased. Back in and a neckbreaker gets two on Jack before we hit the chinlock. Swagger shoves him down and hits a quick Vader Bomb before slapping on the Patriot Lock. Kidd rolls away and kicks him from the apron before telling Nattie to get out of his way. He goes up top but Swagger runs the corner and pulls Tyson down into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 3:09.
Rating: C-. This was around to set up Kidd and Nattie’s issues on Total Divas because that’s what Raw exists to do half the time anymore. At least Swagger got a clean win, despite it being in a near squash. Natalya was there more as a plot device than anything else and that’s all she needed to be here.
Edge and Christian’s Smackdown 15th Anniversary Special That Totally Reeks of Awesomeness airs on the Network after the show. The Canadians are in the studio to say the name and the Network price and that’s about it.
Roman Reigns is live via satellite and says he’ll be back sooner rather than later. This lasted about thirty seconds.
We recap Rollins costing Cena the title at Night of Champions.
El Torito vs. Mini Gator
Gator gets down on all fours and crawls after Torito, who mounts Horny (who else did you think it was?) and wraps him up with the cape. Fans: “THIS IS STUPID!” Heath gets in to try and help but gets Gator Rolled. Torito gores Titus off the apron and hits a top rope moonsault for the pin at 2:18.
We see Big Show apologizing again.
Ziggler is defending the Intercontinental Title tomorrow night on Main Event against Bo Dallas. Raw is for Hoda’s CRAZY DANCE though.
Here are Lana and Rusev for their usual bragging about Rusev and Putin. Rusev calls Big Show down but the big man is banned from wrestling tonight. Instead…..IT’S THE ROCK! Well that woke the fans up. Fans: “Holy ****!” Rock tells the Russians to know their role and shut their mouths.
This morning he woke up and went to the gym, but he doesn’t have his shorts up to his nipples like Rusev. Then he got on a jet and went to Queens, took a cab to Miami, went to Lana’s favorite place: the meat packing district, swam across the river to Staten Island and took the train to the Bronx so he could pay respect to the Captain Derek Jeter. That left him with one more borough to go to, so he crossed a certain bridge, went down Atlantic Avenue and came up to the Barclays Center and climbed into this ring in front of the millions and millions so he can say FINALLY the Rock has come back to Brooklyn.
Lana asks who Rock thinks he is and tells him to shut up. Rock: “And you need to stop dressing like a Soviet street walker.” Rusev warns Rock to leave or face getting crushed. Rock makes fun of his breath and tells Lana she’s beautiful in person, but she looks like someone shoved a Smirnoff bottle up her Putin.
As for Rusev, it doesn’t matter what he thinks. There’s a reason no one has been able to beat Rusev: he’s bigger, stronger and faster than most people in the back. However, the fans boo the Russians because they’re jerks to everyone else. Rusev takes off his medal and the fight is on with Rock easily dispatching Rusev.
Cole tries to talk about what’s going on tonight as Rock walks around ringside celebrating. He even goes into the crowd to hug some girls who can’t seem to stand up. Thankfully they keep the camera on him instead of going to recaps.
AJ Lee/Emma vs. Paige/Alicia Fox
I haven’t heard the fans go from a roar for one half of a tag team to dead silence like they did with AJ and Emma in years. AJ shoves Alicia around to start befor eit’s off to Emma for her marching. Fox sends her through the ropes but Emma hangs on and flips forward to kick Fox in the face. A dancing cradle gets two and AJ looks very confused. The Tarantula has Fox in trouble and the Emma Sandwich crushes her. Emma dances even more and AJ has had enough and walks out. The distraction lets Paige superkick Emma and nail the Rampaige for the pin at 2:48.
Video on Erick Rowan being set free just like Harper. Bray says they shall feel the smoke of his burning. We see what looks to be a pregnant woman’s stomach with the words “It’s coming” written on it.
Happy Birthday Bruno Sammartino.
Miz vs. Sheamus
Non-title. Miz takes him into the corner to start and snaps Sheamus’ throat over the top rope as the fans chant for Mizdow. Sheamus gets in a right hand to the ribs to stop Miz coming off the top but charges into a boot in the corner. He shakes off a Skull Crushing Finale attempt though and we take a break.
Back with Miz holding a chinlock before hammering away in the corner again. Miz puts on a kind of abdominal stretch on the mat as the fans think Mizdow is better. Sheamus fights out of the hold and loads up the Brogue Kick but Mizdow pulls Miz to safety. The Brogue Kick knocks Mizdow off the apron but Miz grabs a rollup for the pin at 10:12.
Rating: C-. Miz was more aggressive here and I like that he’s getting to do stuff, but did we need to pin ANOTHER champion, especially when he isn’t doing anything in the first place? Miz would probably be a better choice for the title right now but I’d like them to have a better way to get there.
Recap of Hogan’s speech last week. He hates breast cancer too you know.
Lawler introduces Joan Lunden (from the Today Show. Not that WWE says that), who is going through breast cancer. The fans are silent but at least applaud when she says she’s not giving up. There are a bunch of cancer survivors at ringside and each one gets an individual introduction. Cena comes out to hug her and that’s that.
One of the Real Housewives of Atlanta is going to be on Raw next week.
Edge and Christian still don’t have much to say.
John Cena vs. Randy Orton/Seth Rollins/Kane
Cena conducts the fans singing JOHN CENA SUCKS. I kind of like that he embraces it so much. Rollins has to start and the bell rings after 11pm because we needed to talk about cancer. Seth tags out to Kane less than thirty seconds in. Cena goes after Kane but keeps lunging at Rollins. The Authority beats him down and Rollins finally comes in, only to get punched in the face a few times. A Blockbuster puts Cena down for two but he lifts Seth up for the AA. Kane kicks Cena in the face to break it up and that’s the quick DQ at 4:33.
Rating: D. Yeah whatever. I’m so glad we had this match cut short for middle aged women dancing and a journalist from something not important enough to mention. That’s what Raw is all about anymore unfortunately, along with Authority vs. Cena/Ambrose ending in a DQ finish.
Post match Ambrose comes out carrying a Coney Island food cart. He pulls back his jacket to reveal ketchup and mustard holsters to spray on Kane and Orton. Cena AA’s Orton but he and Kane clothesline each other down. Ambrose beats Rollins up with various food iteams and tongs his crotch. Kane gets back up but takes an AA of his own. Cena and Ambrose are left in the ring and here are HHH and Stephanie with something to make the rumored matches for HIAC. It’s Cena vs. Ambrose with the winner facing Rollins in the Cell later that night. Ambrose DDTs Cena to the loudest non-Rock pop of the night to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show was running with an anchor. There was a lot of good stuff here with the Rock’s appearance and the three way feud being gold, but dear goodness they tried their best to bring it down. Between HODA’S CRAZY DANCE to talking about cancer to the stupid bull vs. gator stuff, it’s like they were making an active attempt to get the fans ticked off. There’s so much good in WWE right now and so many bright spots on the horizon that I want to love it but the bad stuff is just SO bad that it’s crippling a lot of the good.
Results
Usos/Dolph Ziggler b. Stardust/Goldust/Cesaro – Superfly Splash to Stardust
Bo Dallas b. Mark Henry via countout
Jack Swagger b. Tyson Kidd – Patriot Lock
El Torito b. Mini Gator – Moonsault
Paige/Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee/Emma – Rampaige to Emma
Miz b. Sheamus – Rollup
John Cena b. Randy Orton/Kane/Seth Rollins via DQ when Kane and Rollins attacked Cena
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 29, 2014
At this point it’s pretty clear that Lesnar isn’t going to be defending the title at Hell in a Cell and at the end of the day, that’s probably the best thing they could do right now. Lesnar vs. Cena is a good feud but they need to give it a chance to breathe instead of just doing it over and over again to diminishing results. Instead we have Cena and Ambrose vs. the Authority which is a very nice option and far better than what we were sitting through at this point last year. Let’s get to it.
We opened with the Authority in the ring and Stephanie actually acknowledging the CM Punk chants in Chicago. They had to do something like that as the fans just want attention more than anything else. Heyman can out and had a chat with Rollins but not a lot was said. This felt like a way to distract the fans, because Heaven forbid we have a hot match to catch their attention because we need to have the twenty minute talking segment to open things up.
After all that was over, Rollins said he wanted the briefcase back because it has some personal items inside. Remember that as it’s going to be brought up later. Ambrose popped up on screen and said if Rollins wanted the briefcase, all he had to do was come and get it. This wasn’t the best opening segment in the world and it had the same problem most of them have: they spent twenty minutes to accomplish what could have been done in ten.
WWE doesn’t like breast cancer. This is the first of at least three times they would explain this.
HHH sent agents Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble to get the briefcase back. Those two as the new Patterson and Brisco is a fine idea. They wouldn’t find Ambrose until he came to the ring but apparently Jamie ate a hotdog at the concession stand. I can go with this going forward.
Ziggler retained the Intercontinental Title in a fast paced triple threat along with Cesaro and Miz. This was a good match with everyone moving around and Ziggler superkicking Cesaro to steal a pin on Miz. They can keep up the idea that Cesaro hasn’t gotten pinned clean yet and has a rematch coming to him. It’s like they’re building an actual division with progressing stories. That’s a VERY welcome change and something that could help the product quite a bit.
We get a Wyatt Family video which said Harper was free. This sounds like a way to split up the team and I’d prefer it over a fight. Bray could use some freshening up anyway.
Layla beat Rosa Mendes while Tyson Kidd messed with his phone. This is your Total Divas match and the first of three Divas matches tonight.
The big segment of the show was Ambrose coming to the ring with a bag and the briefcase. He offered to give away all the shirts because he didn’t like the prices on them. After throwing them into the crowd, the agents came in and tried to get the case back. This gave Ambrose the great line of “they’re sending the cruiserweight division after me?” Security came out (“weren’t you Rosebuds last week?”) and Ambrose left the case. Rollins opened it up and got covered with green slime. The look on Dean’s face was outstanding and sold the whole thing.
I’ve heard people calling this the segment that made Ambrose a star but that’s going a bit too far. This was very entertaining for one reason above all others: it was different. Those fourth wall jokes were funny and it made Ambrose feel like an outsider instead of the same old comedy guys. I remember JR talking about how bad comedy in wrestling can be if it’s not natural. With Dean, it felt natural and not like the script said “comedy segment here”. It’s definitely good though and the showdown in the Cell is going to be great.
Bo Dallas interrupted Mark Henry’s latest apology and beat him in about a minute. Henry destroyed Dallas in the back after a break.
Goldust and Stardust confirmed the Tag Team Titles were the Cosmic Key. Nothing else to see here.
Nikki and Brie did their usual argument and Brie had to face Cameron and Eva Marie in a handicap match. Amazingly enough, a former Divas Champion was able to beat a girl with maybe an hour combined ring time and a girl who doesn’t know how to make a proper cover. Nikki whining about having to be in a handful of handicap matches is really wearing thin and isn’t going to sell a big match between the Bellas.
Time for COMEDY with Heath Slater and Titus O’Neil beating Los Matadores. There was a bull, a gator and a Bunny involved. I can live with the Bunny because it’s showing off but the rest of the stuff was stupid. Again though, to people calling this the worst segment ever, I’d point out that the match wasn’t even three minutes long.
Rusev and Lana came out to yell at Big Show. The giant came out and ripped down the Russian flag. Naturally WWE issued an official apology about this because HEAVEN FORBID anyone get offended over something that is going to be forgotten after about thirty seconds. I’m complaining about this apology offending me. Where’s my official apology from WWE? I’m offended by how pathetic it is that people get offended by everything anymore. I WANT AN APOLOGY AND OFFICIAL STATEMENT! I MIGHT TELL PEOPLE TO PROTEST THE SHOW AND THAT MEANS THE STOCKHOLDERS MIGHT GET TICKED OFF!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!
Yeah I think some political correctness is stupid. Why do you ask?
Cena and Ambrose had a brief staredown in the back and tension was teased. They both want to beat up Rollins though.
Alicia Fox is Paige’s new best friend and beat AJ Lee in a nothing match. It’s better than repeating the same matches over and over again.
Sheamus beat Damien Sandow in another nothing match that doesn’t seem to set up anything.
Hulk Hogan doesn’t like cancer.
Stephanie told Kane and Orton that she doesn’t care about their complaints. Tension is being teased here.
Cena and Ambrose beat Orton and Kane when Rollins interfered. There was nothing to the match and it was your standard main event tag. Rollins gave both heroes curb stomps onto the briefcase to end the show.
This show was the standard Raw Special: it would have been great if it only lasted two hours, but the extra hour drags it down. The cancer stuff is going to get old in a hurry and comes off like more of a publicity stunt than anything else. Thank goodness we have another month of WWE saying CANCER SUCKS because they might come off as pro-cancer otherwise.
The wrestling wasn’t anything special but as usual they have a lot of good stuff coming up in the future. The problem though is them screwing up all of the upcoming stuff instead of it actually paying off. Or if nothing else they might have to worry about offending someone and apologizing for logical storylines. Again, either step on some toes or be perfect schoolchildren that don’t offend anyone and listen to the complaints that come with it. Pick something and stick with it though. Not a great show this week but it had its moments.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – September 29, 2014: Dean Ambrose Is A Samoan
Monday Night Raw Date: September 29, 2014
Location: Allstate Arena, Chicago, Illinois
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler
CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM….sorry just getting ready for the crowd later in the show. The main story at the moment seems to be the new Super Best Friends of John Cena and Dean Ambrose facing off with the Authority as Roman Reigns is out injured. There’s no sign of Brock Lesnar and it doesn’t look like he’s going to be at Hell in a Cell. That opens up some doors for interesting pay per view matches. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the Authority vs. Cena and Ambrose last week.
Here are Stephanie and HHH as the announcers hype up the annual pink theme for breast cancer. The fans chant for CM Punk and Stephanie asks why the fans chant for quitters. It’s because they’re quitters themselves and would love to just quit their jobs when things get serious. Stephanie quickly switches over to Ambrose stealing the briefcase on Friday, which means nothing because the contract inside belongs to Rollins. This defiance of the Authority will not be tolerated.
This brings out Paul Heyman for his usual catchphrases and to talk about how close Cena got to becoming champion. Rollins got close as well, but how dare he try to cash in on Brock Lesnar with a curb stomp. Stephanie gets in his face but here’s Seth Rollins to interrupt. He doesn’t really apologize for what he did, but says everyone in the ring is glad Cena isn’t champion again.
Rollins wants to become champion by beating the best, which is clearly Brock Lesnar. Heyman isn’t cool with this so Rollins says Brock should see it as a compliment because it shows Brock is the best. Paul goes to leave but HHH stops him. They stare each other down but HHH just shakes his hand and says thanks for the talk.
This brings Rollins to Ambrose, who better return the briefcase and the personal property inside. If he doesn’t return it, the cinder blocks will look like nothing. Dean pops up on screen and holds up the case in the back, saying if Rollins wants it back he should just come and get it. The three head up the ramp but Cena runs out and jumps Rollins. Seth bails into the crowd, leaving Cena in the ring.
WWE doesn’t like breast cancer.
After a break, the Authority is in the back with some agents. HHH sends Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury to get the briefcase.
Intercontinental Title: Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Miz
Ziggler is defending after beating Miz for the title last week. Cesaro had a title shot on Smackdown and got pinned with his hands in the ropes. The challengers go after Dolph in the corner to start but get in a quick argument over who gets to try for the pin. Cesaro suplexes Miz down for two but Miz clotheslines the power guy down, sending Dolph into the corner. Miz gets gorilla pressed but Ziggler dropkicks Cesaro down, leaving Miz to crash onto the mat as we take a break.
Back with Miz sliding through Cesaro’s legs but Ziggler grabs a rollup instead. Everyone rolls up everyone for two until Ziggler DDTs both guys down at the same time. Another DDT to Miz and a neckbreaker to Cesaro get two on the Hollywood guy and send Cesaro out to the floor. Mizdow trips the champion and earns a baseball slide for his efforts. A sunset flip gets two on Miz but he comes back with a Figure Four attempt.
Cesaro nails Miz with an uppercut and tries a sunset flip of his own but Ziggler pulls on Cesaro’s legs, sending him head first into Miz’s crotch. Dolph throws Miz in the Figure Four but Cesaro makes the save with a double stomp. Miz goes up top but dives into the uppercut, only to have Ziggler superkick Cesaro and pin Miz to retain at 11:48.
Rating: C+. They did some different stuff in there and the match worked better than I was expecting it to. I’m digging this whole “having a division” thing as there are a lot of people who can feud over the title and have good matches like this instead of just doing aimless stuff. As usual I don’t expect it to last but it’s nice to see.
Mizdow is holding his knee just like Miz in a nice touch.
Mercury and Noble go Ambrose hunting but find the Rosebuds, Big E. and Great Khali instead.
WWE still hates breast cancer.
We get a freaky video from the Wyatts which keeps jumping all over the place and talking about finding someone after everyone was told he was gone. Bray asks what you give someone who has lost everything. He fixed someone and now he’s being sent out on his own. It seems like they’re talking about Harper. Luke says he’s piecing himself back together with pieces of you. Bray says Harper is set free. Harper gets close to the camera and says you’re doomed.
The Authority yells at Mercury and Noble for not being able to find Ambrose and possibly stopping for a hamburger. If they don’t find him, they’re fired. The new Stooges leave and Miz and Mizdow come in instead. Mizdow talks for Miz and complains about the rematch for the Intercontinental Title being a triple threat. HHH cuts them off and gives Mizdow a match with Sheamus and threatens to fire Miz.
Layla vs. Rosa Mendes
Tyson Kidd is at ringside messing with his phone because he and Natalya (also at ringside) are having marital problems. Layla takes Rosa down and grabs a chinlock until Rosa fires back with forearms. Rosa’s hair extensions fall out and Layla knocks her to the floor, triggering a brawl between Summer and Natalya. Kidd has no idea any of this is going on. Back in and the Layout beats Rosa at 2:58.
Natalya takes Tyson’s phone post match.
Ambrose is in the back with the briefcase and a bag.
Here’s Ambrose with the bag and briefcase in the arena. He throws in a table and sets the briefcase on top, saying he’s been at the concession stand. The agents came in but they were busy eating and didn’t see him wave. However, that’s not what he’s talking about here. Dean doesn’t like the way the Authority runs their merchandise stands so tonight we’re having a Dean Ambrose sale, but the briefcase isn’t for sale tonight.
Dean throws a bag of t-shirts on the table and says he’ll sell it for a dollar. First up is a Cena shirt for a dollar and a Sheamus shirt for a quarter. This brings out Mercury and Noble (Dean: “They sent the cruiserweight division after me?”) to ask for the briefcase. Ambrose says that’s fine but they have to come in and get it. The guys back away so Ambrose starts throwing the shirts into the crowd for free.
The agents come back with Rollins and security as Dean runs out of shirts. Dean: “Are you real security? I could have sworn you were Rosebuds last week.” Ambrose backs away into the crowd as Rollins finally gets up on the apron. Rollins opens the briefcase and green slime sprays on him. Dean’s “look what I did!” face is great stuff. He swears he had nothing to do with it and Seth freaks out.
After a break, Seth is complaining to the Authority that he could be blinded. Rollins is sent to the trainer and HHH makes Kane and Orton vs. Ambrose and Cena. Orton doesn’t like having to fight Rollins’ battles again. A phone ring and they’re not sure whose it is. It turns out that it’s in the briefcase and Rollins runs back in to say it’s an electric razor. Was that a vibrator joke?
Here’s Mark Henry with something to say. He starts apologizing to the fans for last week when Bo Dallas interrupts. Bo says Henry should apologize to himself instead of the people. It’s time to close the Hall of Pain and join the Hall of Bolievers. Being a Boliever means never having to say you’re sorry.
Bo Dallas vs. Mark Henry
Henry hammers away to start and pounds Bo into the corner, only to miss the Vader Bomb. A Bodog gives Dallas the pin at 1:45. JBL treats this like a huge upset.
In the back after a break, Bo says he won because he Bolieved. Henry attacks him from behind and crushes him with an anvil case a few times. Dallas is out cold. Henry says that’s what he does. That came off like a heel turn.
Network hype.
The Dusts are in the back looking at a crystal ball with electric lights going through it. Stardust looks at a chalkboard and babbles about various things. Stardust comes in and says the titles are the Cosmic Key and they determine their fates. Everything else is science fiction and Stardust shoves the ball away. The belts are science fact.
Brie Bella is here for a match when Nikki comes in to remind Brie that she quit in this building. Nikki yells at her for quitting for Bryan, starting a quick YES chant. That went so well for Brie because Bryan is still sitting at home. Nikki says Brie did it for the cheers and brings up all the handicap matches she was in for about the 1000th time. Tonight Brie gets her own handicap match.
Brie Bella vs. Cameron/Eva Marie
Brie takes Eva down with ease because she’s a former Divas Champion and Eva has had about an hour of career ring time. Cameron gets kicked off the apron but Eva gets in a few shots of her own. Off to Cameron for two off a snap suplex and the fans start chanting for JBL. Brie fights out of the corner and now the fans are chanting for Cole. Cameron is sent into Eva and Brie gets a rollup for the pin at 2:57. Thank goodness they got out of there as fast as they did.
WWE still hates breast cancer.
Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil vs. Los Matadores
The Rosebuds are at ringside and Rose is on commentary with the Bunny at his side. Slater and Titus bring out Hornswoggle in an alligator outfit. Reverend Jesse Jackson is n the front row. O’Neil slams Diego down to start as JBL asks if Rose and the bunny listen to hip hop. Slater allows Diego to tag out to Fernando who cleans house until Hornswoggle comes in for a distraction, allowing Slater to grab a rollup for the pin at 2:42.
Torito and Hornswoggle have their showdown but Rose makes a save. Titus is low bridged to the floor and Los Matadores drop Slater, allowing the Bunny to hit a splash.
Here are Rusev and Lana to brag about beating up Big Show on Friday, only to have Big Show attack him with a right hand. This brings out Big Show who says everything said about Putin is a bunch of garbage. He brings up A Few Good Men for some reason by saying Lana can’t handle the truth.
We get the an unedited package on Big Show standing up for Henry and Rusev attacking Show with the Russian flag on Friday. Rusev says he wants to pull out Big Show’s guts and kick him in the groin. He’ll break every bone in Big Show’s body but Big Show says we don’t speak Russian. Big Show hits the ring and the Russians bail. He slowly goes over to the Russian flag and rips it down to a big reaction. Rusev finally gets back in and is thrown right back to the floor.
We recap Ambrose, Rollins and the briefcase from earlier tonight.
Cena says this is his kind of town and is glad he doesn’t have to face Dean Ambrose. They both want Seth Rollins and Dean pops up behind Cena and Renee. Cena asks if Dean would like to add something. Dean: “Not really.” They get in an argument over who gets to beat up Rollins and Dean says not even Cena can take food off his plate.
Alicia Fox vs. AJ Lee
Paige introduces Alicia as her new best friend. In a throwaway line before the match, Cole says the WWE Network will launch in the UK on November 1, not October 1 as they announced for months. AJ sends Fox to the floor to start before hitting a plancha to take both evil girls down. Back in and Paige offers a distraction so Alicia can get in a quick ax kick for the pin at 1:35.
Paige gives AJ the Rampaige post match and Alicia drops soda on her. She doesn’t open the cans or anything but just drops them.
Harper video again.
Sheamus vs. Damien Mizdow
Non-title and Miz is on commentary. Sheamus takes Mizdow down with a headlock to start but the stunt double escapes the ten forearms to the chest. Back in and Sheamus gets annoyed when Mizdow punches him so the beating is on in the corner. Mizdow comes back with Miz’s short DDT and drives some forearms to the pale head. Sheamus shrugs it off and hits the ten forearms before sending Mizdow out to the floor. The champ follows and sends Mizdow into Miz before taking him back inside for the Brogue Kick and the pin at 5:30.
Rating: D+. This was just a step above a squash and the step helped a lot actually. Mizdow isn’t going to be anything more than a comedy guy but at least he was able to get in a little offense of his own. They’re getting somewhere with the characters but a third person added to the mix might help.
Here’s a pink Hulk Hogan with something to say. He talks about breast cancer awareness month and says he’s turned in the red and yellow to go pink. There are a bunch of breast cancer survivors here and they’re the real heroes. We can buy gear at WWEshop.com to help fight breast cancer and it’s time for catchphrases.
Kane and Orton complain about having to take care of Rollins’ problems when Stephanie comes in and tells them to get over it. The people have been saying Orton and Kane have gone soft and lost their killer instinct. Kane asks if the people are saying that or if it’s just Stephanie. She wants to know if it really matters and that’s that.
Preview of the new episode of Monday Night War debuting after Raw. We saw this earlier.
Reigns will be here for an interview next week. Big Show vs. Rusev as well.
John Cena/Dean Ambrose vs. Kane/Randy Orton
Cena vs. Orton to start of course and the fans are already dueling. John takes over with a quick bulldog but Kane gets in a shot from the apron to take over as we go to our last break. Back with Orton getting two on Cena off what looked like the powerslam but having the RKO countered. He has to settle for the backbreaker instead but Cena is up at two. Kane comes in for a nerve hold and we actually look at Rollins being slimed twice during the hold.
Back to Orton for a chinlock as the dueling Cena chants begin. A big backdrop puts Orton on the floor and Cena does the big dramatic crawl to Ambrose before diving over for the tag. Ambrose speeds up with a pair of dives to the Authority before throwing Orton back in. Randy kicks him into the Rebound Clothesline and Dirty Deeds gets two on as Rollins runs in for the DQ at 11:47.
Rating: C-. The match was the usual boring stuff and you knew Rollins was going to interfere. I’ll give them this though: they’ve done a good job at putting Ambrose straight into Reigns’ spot and making it work. You can picture Reigns having the same promos and matches as Ambrose (well maybe not the sarcastic stuff) and it still works. Reigns will be fine when he gets back but maybe Ambrose can get a rocket strapped to his back in Reigns’ absence.
Dean fights Rollins off and dives at Kane, only to leave it short. Thankfully he pops back up and helps Cena corner Rollins in the ring. The heroes get in a fight over who gets to beat up Rollins though and Dean sends Cena out to the floor. Orton nails an RKO on Ambrose and Kane adds a chokeslam. Rollins plants Dean with a curb stomp onto the briefcase. Cena comes in for a save but eats an RKO and chokeslam of his own. A curb stomp sends Cena into the briefcase (Fans: “THANK YOU ROLLINS!”) and a bunch of replays end the show.
Overall Rating: C. This is what I’ve dubbed the Raw Special: a show that would have been awesome if they cut an hour, but as all the extra stuff thrown in there really drags it down. Between the THREE Divas matches and countless backstage segments with the Authority saying the same thing over and over to WWE REALLY HATES BREAST CANCER AND YOU SHOULD BUY OUR SHIRTS SO WE CAN GIVE THEM LIKE A PENNY EACH, the show felt way longer than it should have.
That being said, there were good things going on here. First of all, most of the bad matches were kept short and there was some good energy to a lot of the stuff. The Ambrose segment was really entertaining and felt like something different, which is what they need more than anything in the main event. We might even be heading towards Cena vs. Ambrose in the Cell, which could lead to Ambrose vs. Rollins. Maybe in the same night inside the Cell with Ambrose getting his big win?
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Miz and Cesaro – Ziggler pinned Miz after an uppercut from Cesaro
Layla b. Rosa Mendes – Layout
Bo Dallas b. Mark Henry – Bodog
Brie Bella b. Cameron/Eva Marie – Rollup to Cameron
Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil b. Los Matadores – Rollup to Fernando
Alicia Fox b. AJ Lee – Ax kick
Sheamus b. Damien Mizdow – Brogue Kick
John Cena/Dean Ambrose b. Kane/Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
It’s my favorite moment ever in wrestling and the loudest pop you’ll ever hear.On January 4, 1999, WCW had Kevin Nash lose the WCW World Title to Hulk Hogan via the Fingerpoke of Doom. Over on Raw, the WWF Title was changing hands as well, which WCW decided to tell their audience. Here’s what the hundreds of thousands of fans that changed the channel saw.
WWF Title: Mankind vs. The Rock
This is No DQ remember. This is the match that Tony Schiavone gave the ending away to on their show, shifting the ratings for the night because of it. DX comes out to back up Foley, because they couldn’t go to the hospital with Shawn or help defend him right? Rock of course has the Corporation with him.
Rock jumps him immediately and knocks him to the floor. He won’t let the Corporation beat them up because he wants to do it himself. How noble of our heel champion. Foley does his first sick bump of the match as he goes knee first into the steps and flies over them in a painful looking shot. These two always had mad chemistry together, which is something that could be said about most guys with Rock actually.
Rock does commentary during the match, which always cracked me up. He talks a bit too much though so Foley takes over. Foley does a promo of his own and we cut to a shot of Vince and Shane, but we hear a bell ring. Foley is down and Rock has the bell. Subtle. Rock Bottom through a table and Foley is in trouble. This has all taken less than three minutes so I’m not leaving much out at all.
To play up the spontaneous nature here Rock is in street clothes, as in the kind you would work out in. Corporate Elbow (debuted 5 minutes from my house) hits for two as this is ALL Rock. Foley with a spinning neckbreaker out of nowhere to get both guys down. Bossman throws the belt in and a shot to the head (sounded SICK) gets two as well. Double arm DDT onto the belt and Rock is in big trouble.
There’s Mr. Socko as the crowd has lost it. Mandible Claw goes on but Shamrock pops Foley with a chair. Billy Gunn takes him down and the brawl begins. Everything goes crazy and CUE GLASS SHATTER! Austin comes out and everyone loses it. He caves Rock’s head in with a chair and pulls Mick on top for the pin and the world title as the roof is blown off the arena.
Rating: A+. This was about a shocking moment and excitement and a feel good story and they NAILED it. This is very personal bias heavy, but they’re my reviews so who cares?
DX puts Foley on their shoulders as the Corporation carries Rock out. Cole gets in the famous line of “Mick Foley has achieved his dream and the dream of everyone else who has been told you can’t do it!” This is one of the best feel good moment in WWF history as Foley was considered one of the best to never be world champion as he worked as hard as anyone else but was never given a serious shot at it.
He got the shot tonight and he won the title. Road Dogg does the big announcement of Mankind being the new champion to a HUGE ovation. Foley dedicates the win to his kids and takes a lap around the ring with the belt to end the show. This is my favorite moment in wrestling history, bar none.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 22, 2014
We’re coming off Night of Champions and things have to be shaken a bit due to Roman Reigns’ injury. There’s a big hole at the top of the card at the moment and thankfully Dean Ambrose seems to be there to fill it. The other interesting thing is going to be what happens to the title now as we should be heading towards Cena vs. Lesnar III inside the Cell, but that match is a bit played at this point. It should be interesting to see what happens in the next five weeks. Let’s get to it.
Ambrose came out to open the show and said he wasn’t dead. He promised to stay in the ring all night until he got his hands on Rollins. Instead he got John Cena who teased a brawl because he wanted to beat up Rollins as well. The Authority came out and thankfully Cena and Ambrose just went after them instead of hiding behind the big invisible wall. Rollins got chased to the back and stole a car to avoid a beating from Cena and Ambrose. Dean as the new half of the Super Best Friends could be interesting, though he seems more like a loner than team player. Granted he was part of the best team in years so maybe it does work.
Ziggler got the Intercontinental Title back with the same rollup with a handful of trunks that Miz won it with the night before. I have no idea what the need was to change the title again, but at least it’s being defended. Can we get some new challengers now though?
Video on Reigns being taken out. That could change a lot of things going forward. Someone with a lot of time on their hands should write a column about that.
Jack Swagger beat Bo Dallas again. I’m not sure what the point of having these three trade wins for 8 days is.
Natalya beat Summer Rae in the Total Divas match. Rosa and Layla brawled and still no one cares. Just let them be hot and shake their hips a lot. It’s the only thing people are going to be interested in.
Ambrose beat Kane via DQ when Rollins ran in. Kane wasn’t as useless as he usually was here but it was only a six minute match. Dean fought them off with a chair but was eventually locked in a room by the Authority. Stephanie got in a great line: “Have we ever thrown someone out that didn’t come back?” I love it when they actually pay attention to continuity with little things like that.
Sheamus and the Usos pinned Cesaro and the Dusts in your usual “take two feuds and throw them together” match. This was longer than it needed to be but entertaining enough at the same time. Cesaro and Sheamus hitting each other very hard is all they need to do and it worked here. Usos vs. Dusts is fine, but I’d like to see a few more teams added to the mix. You know, like a division.
Rollins confronted Orton about Randy saying the Authority had to put on Rollins’ fires from earlier in the night. Nothing much came of this but it could be a seed for later.
The Next Generation thing they were hyping was video game stuff. Like it is EVERY FREAKING TIME.
Mark Henry came out to apologize for tapping out last night. The Russians came out to laugh and challenged him to another match. Henry made up for tapping out to the Accolade by only passing out to it this time. To be fair I don’ thtink anyone really believed he was going to knock off Rusev.
Adam Rose and the Bunny beat Slater and O’Neil. I can’t help but like this as it’s so goofy but they’re making it so goofy. All the heat is going to go away when the Bunny is unmasked though.
The Bellas are now arguing over the name Bella. Seriously. This might trump Booker T. and Ahmed Johnson fighting over the letter T. in WCW.
AJ beat Nikki Bella because Nikki is awful in the ring.
Cena beat Orton via DQ when the Authority interfered. There was a box at ringside and, as everyone who has ever watched a wrestling show knew, Ambrose was inside it and helped Cena clean house to end the show.
It’s very obvious that Ambrose is substituting for Reigns but that actually works so much better. Ambrose is the natural rebel whereas Reigns is a wrecking ball and doesn’t really fit in a war against the Authority. In other words, Ambrose is more like Austin while Reigns is more like Batista. That’s a VERY good career to have and Reigns is going to be a big star, but there are a lot more places to go with Ambrose’s character. It might be a better idea to have him as the top guy, assuming the fans buy into them, which they seem to be.
The show was a nice change of pace from the stuff we’ve been having for the last few weeks. Lesnar not being around is good in this case as they need to have some more stuff other than just Lesnar vs. the hero of the month. Cena can get his rematch later but it’s nice to give that feud some time to chill instead of just beating it into the ground. Rebuild Cena and let others fight Lesnar for awhile. Good show this week but it’s more about setting stuff up for later than anything on Monday.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Monday Night Raw – September 22, 2014: Night of Night Of Champions Rematches
Monday Night Raw Date: September 22, 2014
Location: FedEx Forum, Memphis, Tennessee
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler, John Bradshaw Layfield
We’re past Night of Champions and heading towards Hell in a Cell in about five weeks. The main story is Seth Rollins breaking up Cena’s very close near fall on Brock Lesnar to end the show. The key is it makes Cena believe he can beat Lesnar, likely setting up another match inside the Cell. If they let them go nuts, that could be a classic. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of the main event and Lesnar laying out Cena to end the show.
Here’s the returning Dean Ambrose to start things off. “I’M NOT DEAD!” Dean says he’s had to replay the incident over and over again and he can appreciate being attacked two on one. We look at Kane and Rollins giving him a curb stomp onto some cinder blocks. The Authority going to such lengths to get rid of him makes him feel special. Tonight he’s the authority and he isn’t leaving until he gets his hands on Seth Rollins because he never gets tired of hitting Seth Rollins in the face.
Dean gets a chair and sits in the middle of the ring but here’s Cena to interrupt. Ambrose says he doesn’t like Cena standing in the ring with him right now and Cena doesn’t want Ambrose having a reason to not like him. Cena says he has a reason to be angry because Seth Rollins stopped him from beating Brock Lesnar last night. He wants Rollins tonight and says no one is going to stop him, implying he’ll fight Ambrose to get to Seth. Dean says not to get in his way but Cena gets ready to fight. Ambrose takes his jacket off but here’s the full Authority to interrupt.
HHH says Rollins won’t be fighting tonight but Cena and Ambrose will. Cena and Ambrose aren’t interested in listening and charge at the Authority. Rollins bails with Ambrose and Cena giving chase. We cut to the back with Rollins running away from Ambrose and Cena before stealing a car to escape. Dean and John look at each other but nothing happens.
After a break, the Authority has a meeting and makes Kane vs. Ambrose and Cena vs. Orton. Kane isn’t pleased but agrees to the chance for revenge. Orton doesn’t like having to put out Rollins’ fires. WWE announced Orton vs. Ambrose before the show so I guess they already changed it.
Intercontinental Title: Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler
Miz is defending after winning the title last night and Mizdow has a small replica title in a nice touch. No R-Ziggler in Dolph’s corner either. We actually get big match intros. Feeling out process to start with Dolph grabbing a headlock but getting Miz scores with a shoulder. A knee to the ribs puts Ziggler down and we hit the chinlock. The Figure Four is countered, sending Miz shoulder first into the post. Not that it matters much though as Ziggler gets caught with a neckbreaker onto the apron and we take a break.
Back with Miz hitting the corner clothesline but he gets dropkicked out of the air when trying the top rope ax handle. The Fameasser is countered but Dolph hits the running DDT to put both guys down. Back up and Miz blocks the superkick before slapping on the Figure Four. Ziggler eventually gets to the ropes and rolls to the floor where he clotheslines Miz and Mizdow.
Back in and Miz hits a quick Skull Crushing Finale for a very close two. Ziggler gets the same off the Fameasser but Miz blocks the Zig Zag. A superkick knocks Mizdow off the apron but Miz rolls Dolph up and grabs the trunks. Dolph rolls through though and grabs a rollup (and trunks) of his own to get the title back at 12:56.
Rating: C+. The near falls were good here and Ziggler feels like he earned the belt, but what in the world is the point in trading the title back and forth in two days? Both guys get an extra title reign and now we’re right back where we were twenty four hours ago. I like that they’re having some action, but how about letting something last more than a day?
We recap Reigns being taken off the card and Ambrose coming in to fight Rollins.
Jack Swagger vs. Bo Dallas
Swagger takes him into the corner to start but Dallas takes him across the ring for a knee to the ribs. A clothesline drops Jack and some knee drops to the head get two. We hit the chinlock for a bit before Jack runs him over and hits a Vader Bomb. Dallas goes back to the ribs and gets two off a neckbreaker. Not that it matters as a quick Patriot Lock makes Bo tap at 3:18.
Rating: D. This didn’t have time to go anywhere but is there a point to having them alternate wins on three straight shows? That’s the second match in a row where the guys are just trading victories and I’m not sure who is gaining anything out of it. Swagger winning is a good thing at least.
Zeb makes fun of Bo’s catchphrase post match.
We get a quick tribute to Howard Stern Show personality Eric the Actor who died over the weekend.
Summer Rae vs. Natalya
This is your Total Divas match of the week with Summer calling Natalya jealous to start. We get a clip from the three month old issue that started this problem where Natalya pulled Summer out of a car. Rae takes her down for a figure four full nelson followed by a front chancery. Natalya comes back by slamming Summer’s face into the mat and one of the worst looking discus lariats I’ve ever seen. Summer was falling down before any contact and it looked awful. Rosa Mendes and Layla get in a fight on the floor as the Sharpshooter makes Summer tap at 2:20.
Dean Ambrose vs. Kane
Ambrose hammers away in the corner to start and takes Kane down with right hands. A middle rope elbow to the jaw gets one but Dean has to fight out of a chokeslam attempt. Dean sends him out to the floor and nails a suicide dive but Kane takes him down with a big boot and sends Ambrose into the steps. Back in and Kane works on an armbar before uppercutting Dean out of the air for two.
It’s back to the armbar which Kane is barely cranking on. They get up with Dean nailing a DDT followed by the Rebound Clothesline. A missile dropkick gets two on Kane but he pops back up and grabs Dean by the throat for the chokeslam. Ambrose quickly counters into Dirty Deeds but Rollins runs out for the DQ at 5:30.
Rating: C. Better match than expected here but it’s still nothing great. I don’t see why you couldn’t have Kane get pinned here but at least Ambrose had him beaten at the end. Dean is on fire after everything that has happened to him and with no Reigns around, there’s a big door open for him if he they use him right.
Dean fights off Rollins but Kane plants him with a chokeslam. Rollins goes back to get some more but Dean has a chair and tells him to come on. Seth backs down of course.
After a break, Ambrose is locked in a room by security and the Authority. Stephanie: “Have we ever thrown someone out that didn’t come back?” I love logical lines like that.
We get the video on Reigns’ surgery and the repeated announcement that he’ll be out for months.
Sheamus/Usos vs. Goldust/Stardust/Cesaro
Jey and Goldust start things off with a quick feeling out before it’s off to Jimmy for a big backdrop. Off to Stardust who sends Jimmy into the corner but has to duck a superkick. The Dusts bail to the floor for a breather and it’s off to Sheamus to hammer on Cesaro. They trade heavy forearms before tagging in Goldust and Jey with the Uso getting two off a splash. Back to Stardust for some forearms to Jey’s back before they trade armbars. Goldust comes back in as Stardust trips him up as we take a break.
Back with Jey fighting out of Stardust’s dragon sleeper before getting up a boot in the corner. The hot tag brings in Sheamus to clean house with the rolling fireman’s carry and ten forearms to the chest. Stardust escapes a powerslam but tags in Cesaro who pulls Sheamus out to the floor in a big crash. Back in and a middle rope ax handle gets two on Sheamus and Cesaro puts on something like a reverse Crippler Crossface. Goldust comes in again for a chinlock and knee drop before tagging back to his brother.
Sheamus fights out of a front facelock before blocking a top rope cross body with an ax handle to put both guys down. The double tag brings in Jey and Goldust with the Uso cleaning house. Jimmy makes a quick tag and hits a Whisper in the Wind to both champions. Everything breaks down and the Superfly Splash hits Goldust’s knees. The Final Cut looks to finish Jimmy but Sheamus makes a last second save. Cesaro and Sheamus go outside and Jey hits the Superfly Splash on Goldust for the pin at 15:42.
Rating: C. The match was ok but it felt much more long than good. The Usos should get a rematch after being champions for seven months and this is a decent enough way of setting it up. At least it’s better than just saying “oh they have a rematch clause.” Sheamus vs. Cesaro again would be entertaining but there are other challengers to go after the title.
Rollins comes up to Orton and doesn’t like the putting out fires line from earlier. Seth agrees to be in his corner later tonight.
Here’s the Next Generation thing they’ve been talking about. As is almost always the case, it’s for the new video game. This is set to Bawitaba by Kid Rock of all sings.
Mark Henry comes out to address the fans after his loss to Rusev last night. He says he’s heartbroken and can’t believe he let everyone down. This brings out Rusev and Lana for some Russian gloating. Lana tells everyone to shut up and makes fun of the Memphis crowd. She offers Henry another match with Rusev tonight and Henry says bring it on.
Rusev vs. Mark Henry
This is joined in progress with Rusev hammering away and taking Henry down for a side choke. We look at Henry getting his back injured last night as the hold keeps going. Mark fights up so Rusev dropkicks him down and puts the hold on again. Henry finally stays up and slams Rusev down but hurts his back again. They head outside with Rusev being sent into the steps after trying to drive Henry in again. Back in and Henry tries a very slow Vader Bomb but gets pulled down, sending him ribs first into the mat. The Accolade makes Henry pass out at 7:30.
Rating: D+. This was long and dull but it was a much better ending than last night. Not that it matters after Henry looked like such a loser after last night but at least they’re getting the right idea. I could have done without another rematch this soon though as this is the second from last night and third from the last week.
Adam Rose/The Bunny vs. Heath Slater/Titus O’Neil
It had to happen eventually. Titus runs over Rose to start and hits an over the shoulder backbreaker. Off to Slater for a side kick and a chinlock as the Bunny plays cheerleader on the apron. Rose kicks Slater away but Titus breaks up the hot tag attempt. The Bunny ducks a right hand from O’Neil and Adam finally makes the hot tag. The Bunny comes in with a bunch of kicks and a few tail wags before low bridging Titus to the floor. A big spinning kick to the face drops Slater and a seated senton off the apron takes out Titus. The Party Foul is enough for the pin on Slater at 3:10.
Rating: C+. Yeah I liked it. I don’t think there’s much else to be said here.
Here’s Nikki Bella to address Brie’s interview last night where Brie said she didn’t want Nikki to become Divas Champion. She immediately calls out Brie for a chat and trash is already being talked. Nikki says Brie should be called Nikki’s Trashy Sister and wants to be the only Bella. Brie won’t do it so Nikki brings up the obvious question: why hasn’t Brie taken her husband’s name? Nikki calls Bryan a troll so Brie tries a YES Lock, sending Nikki running to the floor.
AJ Lee vs. Nikki Bella
Paige is on commentary. AJ cranks on the arm to start before taking the non-champion down with a headscissors. A pair of neckbreakers get two on Nikki and they head out to the floor. Nikki sends AJ into Paige and the Brit is ticked off. Back in and Nikki gets two before putting on a swinging sleeper. There’s a cross armbreaker on AJ but she powers out, only to get caught in an Alabama Slam for two. Back up and Nikki misses a charge into the corner, allowing AJ to put on the Black Widow for the submission at 5:10.
Rating: D+. The longer the Bellas aren’t around a championship the better things are. Nikki wanting to fight over the Bella name is about as stupid of a way as they could go but that’s what this entire feud has been since the beginning. Thankfully AJ has dominated them every time to keep the evil from coming even more to the forefront.
A large black box is brought to ringside.
Randy Orton vs. John Cena
Randy takes him down with a headlock to starts but Cena quickly shakes him off, only to get pounded down in the corner. Now it’s John firing off right hands, followed by a bulldog for two. We take a break and come back with Cena being sent to the floor and into the announcers’ table. The Elevated DDT is countered with a backdrop over the top and Cena has a breather. Back in and they collide but it’s Orton up first and taking Cena into the corner.
Orton puts on a sleeper for a bit until Cena escapes with the ProtoBomb. Randy escapes an STF attempt and takes Cena’s head off with a clothesline. He loads up a superplex but opts for a top rope Elevated DDT for a very close two instead. Cena pops back to his feet and grabs the STF, drawing in Kane and Rollins for the DQ at 15:15.
Rating: C. How in the world was this a fifteen minute match? This really didn’t work too well as it felt like they were just waiting to get to the obvious Ambrose surprise at the end. Rollins has now run in on three matches in two days which is a bit much to put it mildly. The match wasn’t bad but it ran longer than it needed to.
Post match the Authority loads up the Curb Stomp on the blocks under the box, but it’s Ambrose because….well what else was it going to be? Dean destroys everything in sight and Rollins runs off, leaving Ambrose and Cena to clean house to end the show.
Overall Rating: C-. This show wasn’t bad but it was mainly a long recap of last night. I really liked the opening sequence with Ambrose and Cena looking like the new Super Best Friends trying to take down the Authority. The ending helped that story but there wasn’t much between the opening and closing. It was mainly recaps and rematches which weren’t very good in the first place. That being said, it was nice to go completely away from the Lesnar stuff, at least for a week. It’s not the worst show in a long time but it didn’t blow my skirt up.
Results
Dolph Ziggler b. Miz – Rollup with a handful of trunks
Jack Swagger b. Bo Dallas – Patriot Lock
Natalya b. Summer Rae – Sharpshooter
Dean Ambrose b. Kane via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered
Sheamus/Usos b. Cesaro/Goldust/Stardust – Superfly Splash to Goldust
Rusev b. Mark Henry via referee stoppage
AJ Lee b. Nikki Bella – Black Widow
John Cena b. Randy Orton via DQ when Seth Rollins and Kane interfered
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of 1997 WCW Monday Nitro Reviews at Amazon for just $3.99 at:
Reviewing the Review – Monday Night Raw: September 15, 2014
This week’s episode of Raw was the final push to the Night of Champions PPV, meaning the whole show was really about one thing because that’s all this pay per view is going to be about. The interesting thing about this show was the structure which we’ll focus on as a whole later on. Let’s get to it.
We opened with the big story of the week as Heyman came to the ring but Cena showed up, ready to fight Brock Lesnar. This led to Cena promising to back up his threat from last week, giving Heyman “until halftime” to produce Lesnar. Later in the show, Cena would lock Heyman in a room with Great Khali standing guard.
This was the interesting structure that I was talking about: when Cena said halftime, he meant halftime of the Monday Night Football game. Eventually, right around halftime of the game, Cena brought Heyman out and threatened to beat the tar out of him unless Lesnar showed up. Heyman bought time by saying that he had wanted Cena to be violent and aggressive, which could make him a Paul Heyman Guy. He begged Cena to embrace the hate one time and finally got Cena to shove him by talking about Cena’s mom.
Lesnar came out immediately and circled the ring before actually getting in and suplexing Cena out to the floor. John got back in and had a fight with Lesnar, actually getting the better of him on the floor. This was intense, violent and exactly what the match on Sunday needed. It made me believe that Cena could win the match, even though I don’t think there’s a real chance of him getting the belt back, at least not yet.
Putting this on during halftime of the football game was the right idea, as WWE could have Hulk Hoga vs. Undertaker vs. Cena vs. Austin vs. Rock in a first blood Hell in a Cell Iron Man match and not beat Monday Night Football. Why would WWE try to win a fight where they have no chance? Instead they made sure to get the biggest audience possible which was a good idea in theory, even though it doesn’t seem to have played out that well in the numbers. That being said, I like that they’re actually trying something different instead of doing the same stupid stuff over and over again.
We’ll jump back to the stuff in between the opening and the showdown. The first match saw Jericho beat Kane in a nothing match after sending him face first into an exposed turnbuckle. Kane is worthless at this point and I have no interest in seeing him do anything on TV anymore. MAYBE have him talk but leave the wrestling to people that can still move. Jericho wasn’t much better either and thankfully he’s wrapping up his run this Sunday.
Roman Reigns promises to end Rollins tonight.
Jack Swagger made Bo Dallas tap out. Nothing to see here but you would think this might have been the pre-show match on Sunday.
Paige and Nikki Bella beat Brie Bella and AJ with Nikki destroying Brie for most of the match. This was just a way for the sisters to argue post match and Paige and AJ to do their “mind games”, whatever they’re supposed to be.
Bray did his stuff about Big Show before Show beat him by DQ. Wyatt got to show off a bit but Harper ran in for the save. This was another waste of Bray but at least it wasn’t a clean pin. I have a bad feeling we’re setting up yet another Big Show push that no one wants to see and a match that he has no chance of winning. I mean, Lesnar beat him in just over two minutes at the Royal Rumble. How can WWE believe that’s something worth headlining another show?
Sheamus and the Usos beat Cesaro and the Dusts in your standard “take two feuds and call me in the morning” match. There isn’t much to talk about with this one but it wasn’t bad.
Orton promises to give Jerichot he beating of his life on Sunday. That would be the third or fourth time he’s done so.
Naomi beat Cameron after Cameron tried to cover Naomi when her face was on the mat. I really hope it’s character schtick but I have a bad feeling it isn’t. Just let Naomi be the athletic freak of the division like she should be instead of making her do this Total Divas nonsense.
Dolph Ziggler and R-Truth beat the Miz and Damien Sandow in the same match they had on Smackdown, minus most of the comedy and with Miz taking the fall instead of Sandow.
Rollins pretended to be a neanderthal like Reigns.
Reigns then beat Rollins in a good match that is going to happen again on Sunday. Why that’s the case is beyond me but WWE hasn’t made a ton of sense in a few weeks now.
The big closing segment was Mark Henry rallying America before his match with Rusev on Sunday. Again I’m assuming this is their way of giving up the night to the NFL, but they could have had Reigns vs. Rollins close the show instead of this. The viewership plummeted for this segment and I can’t imagine anyone was surprised.
Raw this week had the same problems it’s had for a long time now: there’s clearly no effort other than with Cena vs. Lesnar. Not that that wrestlers aren’t trying, but they’re being given nothing to work with. Everything feels meaningless coming into Sunday outside of the main event and that’s not good. This is the annual fall lull and it really doesn’t make me care about the product. There’s a house show this weekend five minutes from my house and a main event of Cena vs. Kane isn’t enough to make me go. The show was watchable but nothing I’m going to remember by Friday.
Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of ECW Pay Per Views at Amazon for just $3.99 at: