Last night’s show was a major step up for a variety of reasons.

The six way opening argument was the same segment we always get before the Chamber and it still works well. Christian turning heel for Sunday is fine as well since you want it to be balanced and Christian can easily turn from face to heel. However the heel turn was kind of wasted by having him get pinned so quickly. Have him walk out to save his body for Sunday.

Bryan’s shoulder injury gives them an out to have him lose while also setting up something for Wrestlemania. The question is what are they setting up. All of the signs seem to point to Bryan vs. Kane, which is a match that should happen……at any other PPV. After the year that Bryan has had and all the torture that HHH has put him through, the only other match that would work besides fighting for the title or facing Undertaker (and that’s a stretch at this point) is Bryan vs. HHH.

Everything is set up for it and the story writes itself (“You said I’m not good enough to beat the best, so how about I beat you at Wrestlemania?”). Bryan kicking out of the Pedigree, kicking the tar out of HHH and making him tap to the YES Lock in the middle of the ring would be more than an acceptable match for Bryan at the biggest show of the year. However, it doesn’t seem like that’s where we’re headed and I don’t get why. My guess is they might be saving that for Extreme Rules, which would be decent but totally miss what could be a much bigger reaction.

What is with all the dancing wrestlers? Brodus, R-Truth, Xavier Woods, Fandango, Summer Rae, Emma, the Funkadactyls and I’m probably missing some. When did dancing become this big of a gimmick?

Henry vs. Reigns was exactly what everyone knew it would be, though there was one major highlight. During Shield’s entrance, there was a fan holding up a Batista sign that read “Boo This Man.” I’m not sure why but I cracked up.

That brings us to Shield vs. Wyatts and I have nothing but praise for it. This is what you get when you build up two anythings as monsters that can’t conceivably lose a match. It helps that they’ve kept these guys apart most of the time and made the fans actually want to see a match. I’m more excited for this than anything in the last several months and there’s no way the match isn’t awesome.

That being said, it’s also one of the most frustrating stories in recent memory. Look at Reigns and Wyatt. Those two are proof that WWE can EASILY make someone into a star that can sell tickets and get the fans excited but they just don’t do it most of the time. Bray Wyatt has been around about eight months (let that one sink into your head for a minute) and is rumored to be facing John Cena at Wrestlemania. Reigns broke Kane’s Royal Rumble record. These pushes started in the last few months and they have the fans drooling. So why do we have to sit through so many horrible start and stop pushes the rest of the year?

One last note: how many of you would fork over your money right now for Reigns vs. Wyatt at Wrestlemania?

The Swagger/Big E. stuff was done quite well. I don’t think Swagger is anything more than a challenger of the month unless they’re setting up Swagger vs. Cesaro at Wrestlemania, though I don’t think that’s where they’re going. Big E. needs the Langston back though. “Here is your winner, Big E!” just doesn’t sound right.

Now we get to the highlight of last night’s show. I’ve been wanting to see a big time Cena vs. Cesaro match for a long time and last night showed why. That was a textbook definition of how to give someone a rub and Cena is rapidly becoming a master of the art. Cena was stopped at every turn until he finally gave up on finesse or technique and just knocked Cesaro down with raw power and hit a quick AA before Cesaro had time to counter. That’s telling a story and making someone look like a killer at the same time.

The other thing to notice about that match was the crowd. They were INTO that match, just like they were with the Sandow cash-in a few months ago. One of the hardest things to do in wrestling is make you question something you know is true and that’s what Cena is getting better and better at doing. I think deep down everyone knew Cesaro wasn’t pinning Cena clean, just like people knew Sandow wasn’t winning the title. However, Cena was able to make us believe that it COULD happen, even for just a few minutes. That’s some powerful ability and something that only a handful of people ever could do.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: people aren’t going to truly appreciate Cena and his abilities until he’s gone. Lawler summed it up very well last night: Cena ALWAYS gets a reaction. Yeah it’s a mixed reaction, but that’s far better than fans being silent during an entrance. It means there’s something that people care about and that’s the most important thing.

HHH and Orton have had the exact same conversation for about four straight months now and they’re not adding anything to it.

That brings us to the tanned elephant in the ring. Batista hasn’t even been allowed to cut a regular promo since winning one of the biggest matches of the year and now he’s heading into Elimination Chamber for the least interesting match on the card. For the life of me I can’t imagine that he gets a one on one match with Orton for the title at Wrestlemania, Disney movie or no Disney movie. At this point his return is a disaster, but I still feel sorry for Batista in the whole thing.

At the end of the day, Batista just came back at the wrong time. People want to see Daniel Bryan and Daniel Bryan alone getting the title shot at Wrestlemania and would boo ANYBODY other than goat face. If Batista was getting this shot at say Money in the Bank, people wouldn’t mind for the most part and the reactions would be fine. The problem for Batista is that he has to step into the arena at some point and talk about going to Wrestlemania and the reaction isn’t going to work. A heel turn (even though he pretty much is one by default at this point) isn’t going to be enough. The problem is I’m not sure what IS enough.

Onto a more pleasant note, Titus O’Neil is NAILING this character. Word on the street is that he blew Vince and HHH away with his promo last night and I can’t say I disagree. The guy is perfect for the “I’m just better than you” character and has the charisma and mic skills to pull it off. No he’s not the best worker, but he’s good enough to hide it and that’s all you need to be at this level.

The Tag Title stuff was fine, just like the Intercontinental stuff.

I feel so sorry for Orton and Sheamus. They had to have their previous match at the post Wrestlemania Raw and last night they get to follow Cena vs. Cesaro. It’s even worse because their matches haven’t been bad at all but they’re overshadowed by circumstances beyond their control.

The brawl at the end was exactly what it needed to be.

That’s how I would sum up last night’s show: exactly what it needed to be. Every match on Sunday got some focus and I want to see the show way more than I did coming into last night. The fact that we got a classic match made things even better.

The most interesting thing though is that Wrestlemania is totally up in the air now. Look at the following people:

Sheamus

Shield

Bray Wyatt

John Cena

Daniel Bryan

Undertaker

Brock Lesnar

All of those names are in play for Wrestlemania and there are a lot of matches that could tear the house down. I’m getting excited and the Network launching in six days makes it even better.

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 17, 2014
Location: Pepsi Center, Denver, Colorado
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Elimination Chamber and it’s not a good time to be Randy Orton. He’s 1-3 in his gauntlet so far and tonight he gets to face Sheamus before getting to face all five challengers at once on Sunday. Other than that we can look forward to more from the Shield vs. the Wyatt Family after the Wyatts backed out of a physical confrontation last week. Let’s get to it.

Cena opens us up for the first time in a good while. He talks about how this Sunday is the Elimination Chamber and winning inside the Chamber is a guaranteed main event at Wrestlemania against Batista. Cena has been on the road to Wrestlemania several times and the only person on that road that doesn’t have any momentum is Randy Orton. A few weeks ago Randy Orton was beaten by Daniel Bryan and then last week he was beaten by Cena.

The odds say that we’ll be having a new WWE World Heavyweight Champion and here are Colter and Cesaro to cut him off. Cesaro says he’ll be the new face of America and he gets in the ring to face Cena. John says that Cesaro won on Friday but all that means is that Orton is on a losing streak. Cesaro is in for a fight he’s never experienced on Sunday so don’t write checks that your body can’t cash.

This brings out Sheamus who says that he’ll be kicking both of their teeth in on Sunday and there’s a Brogue Kick waiting on Orton tonight. Cue Christian who says Sheamus should have saved the Brogue Kick for Dean Ambrose instead of kicking Christian like he did. Christian knows it was an accident, but on Sunday the Killswitch won’t be an accident.

Orton gets us up to five people with microphones and thanks the Authority for the chance to beat them all on Sunday. He knows Cena beat him last week but Cena can’t beat him when it counts. Orton and Christian have had some great matches but Orton has won every one of them. Sheamus’ Brogue Kick isn’t getting anywhere near him tonight….and here’s Bryan for another interruption. There are going to be five other people in the Chamber, but the entire arena is going to be chanting YES.

Cue Kane to a big YOU SOLD OUT chant. Apparently the Authority has left him in charge tonight and since Sheamus is facing Randy Orton, perhaps the other four of them should be in action as well. Therefore it’s Cesaro vs. Cena and Christian vs. Daniel Bryan and Kane will be staying at ringside for the latter of those, because it’s right now.

Kane looks at Bryan and Daniel gets distracted but Christian jumps him from behind in a very heelish move. He sends Bryan to the floor and throws him into the barricade as the fans aren’t pleased. Bryan goes shoulder first into the steps and we take a break before the match actually starts.

Christian vs. Daniel Bryan

The bell rings after a break with Bryan nursing a sore shoulder. Bryan starts with a quick knee to the ribs and some European uppercuts to knockt he Canadian to the floor. The FLYING GOAT is blocked with a shot to the jaw as Kane watches from ringside. Back in and Christian does the smart thing by going after the bad arm with a wristlock and a shoulder block for two.

Bryan elbows out of a hammerlock but Christian nails him in the jaw for two. Christian channels his inner Rocky Marciano and punches the shoulder but has to escape a half crab attempt. He drops knees on the arm and shouts that he should be the champion Bryan knocks him out to the floor and hits the FLYING GOAT, only to injure his shoulder as we go to a break.

Back with Bryan hitting a knee to Christian’s ribs and the crowd YESes him on. The YES Kicks set up the big one to the head for two but the swan dive hits knees, injuring the shoulder again. The running dropkick connects in the corner but Christian blocks a second with his feet. Christian scores with the middle rope back elbow but the Killswitch is countered into the YES Lock but Christian fights out. Another Killswitch attempt is countered into a rollup for the pin at 11:12.

Rating: C+. Well so much for buying Christian as a contender on Sunday. The match was fine and Bryan sold the arm quite well as you would expect him to do. Christian turning heel for the Chamber is fine as you don’t want to have four faces and two heels and Christian can turn as fast as anyone else. Nice opener.

Post match Kane congratulates him on the win but says Bryan isn’t done yet. He has one more match tonight, against Kane. The monster gets in the ring and easily knocks Bryan to the floor before their match after the break.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Joined in progress with Kane in an undershirt and sending Bryan shoulder first into the buckle. A suplex gets two on Daniel and it’s back to right hands on the arm. The arm is wrapped around the rope and the fans think this is boring. Daniel comes back with a quick missile dropkick and starts having his usual seizure of a comeback. Some very weak looking YES Kicks are countered with a choke shove over the top. Daniel is sent shoulder first into the barricade before being bent around the post for a five count and the DQ at 4:00 shown.

Rating: D+. This was angle advancement instead of a match and there’s nothing wrong with that. They’re stacking the deck even more against Bryan on Sunday which is likely setting up HHH vs. Bryan at Wrestlemania. Again though, I can’t imagine they’re crazy enough to not put him in the title match at the biggest show of the year.

Kane stays on the arm post match and crushes it against the steps.

After a clip of Henry vs. Ambrose last week, Ambrose brags about the beating he gave Henry last week. Reigns calls him out on this and says that he’ll show Dean how it’s done tonight. Seth says that the Shield is on the same page and they’re bred for war on Sunday. Dean calls the Wyatts an illusion and they don’t experience fear. Believe in the Shield.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Emma is with Santino and we get some clips of her time in NXT. Fandango takes over with a quick elbow to the jaw and a headbutt. Santino avoids a middle rope knee drop and hits his facebuster before loading up the Cobra. Emma intercepts Summer Rae and puts her in an airplane spin of all things. Santino and Emma have their romantic moment but Fandango breaks up the kiss and ends Santino with a falcon’s arrow at 2:42.

Renee Young asks Henry how he’ll do against Roman Reigns.  Henry says tonight is about inducting Reigns into the Hall of Pain because that’s what he does.

Mark Henry vs. Roman Reigns

The fans are behind Reigns as he hammers away on Mark to get us going. Henry blocks an Irish whip so Reigns casually picks him up in a Samoan drop for two. Reigns kicks him out of the corner and hits the Superman Punch followed by the spear for the pin at 2:45. Basically a squash.

Post match Rollins congratulates Reigns on his win but Ambrose stomps on Henry for last week. Reigns asks Dean what he’s doing but we’ve got Wyatts. Bray is singing a children’s Christian song about having the joy down in his heart as we get closer to Elimination Chamber. The Shield’s shattered bones will pave the streets of his kingdom but he wants to know if this was all worth it for the Shield.

Harper asks if they’re willing to die for this and Bray says if not, then they’ve already lost. Reigns grabs a mic and says come out here and say that. Bray says it’s funny he should say that because the Wyatts were thinking the same thing. Rowan speaks for the first time and says run. The Wyatts come to the aisle and get on the apron but only Bray gets inside. Reigns smiles and steps forward as Harper and Rowan join their leader. Ambrose and Rollins are ready to go but Bray calls off the monsters and the Wyatts leave.

The kickoff match for Sunday is Goldust/Cody Rhodes vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel.

Cody and Goldust play with new WWE toys and have a bizarre family moment talking about trying to make hamsters fly. Bad News Barrett comes in and kicks the toys away.

Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

Jack pounds Kofi down in the corner to start and gets two off a suplex. The fans almost immediately start chanting for JBL and then CM Punk as Swagger hits the Vader Bomb for two. Kofi gets a boot up in the corner to stop a charging Swagger and hits a few forearms and dropkicks. Jack counters a sunset flip but Kofi comes back with Delirious’ Shadows Over Heck of all things for two. An SOS out of nowhere gets two but Swagger had his foot on the ropes. A high cross body gets two but Swagger rolls through into the Patriot Lock for the submission at 4:40.

Rating: D+. This was just a way to give Swagger some momentum going into Sunday and that’s the right idea. Jack is just another challenger of the month for Big E. and that’s something that can be set up in just a few matches like it has been here. Kofi is a good hand to have in this roll as he’s not going to lose anything by getting beat here.

Big E. comes down for his match and stares at Swagger.

Big E. vs. Drew McIntyre/Jinder Mahal

3MB is easily pounded down as Zeb gets on the mic and talks trash during the match. Colter insults the Broncos and calls Big E a moron as 3MB double teams him for a few moments. The champ easily fights back and sends McIntyre to the floor before belly to bellying both guys. The Warrior Splash crushes both of them and the Big Ending to both guys is enough to pin McIntyre at 4:15.

Rating: C-. Just like the previous match, this was exactly what it needed to be. Big E. (he needs the Langston back already) hasn’t been doing his best lately and this is the kind of win that he’s been looking for to get back to form. Beating a former world champion on PPV isn’t going to hurt him at all either.

Alexander Rusev is still coming.

Ron Simmons Black History Month video.

Video on the Elimination Chamber match.

Cena says we’ll see what Cesaro is made of.

John Cena vs. Cesaro

Cesaro grabs a headlock to start but Cena comes back with a hiptoss to send Cesaro outside. Back in and they do the same sequence but Cesaro counters Cena’s leapfrog into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for two. An abdominal stretch goes nowhere but Cesaro knocks Cena to the floor with ease. John is sent into the barricade as this has been one sided so far. A middle rope elbow gets two for Cesaro but Cena comes back with his lift into a neckbreaker for two. Cesaro comes back with a hard whip into the corner and baseball slides Cena out to the floor as we take a break.

Back with Cesaro putting on a sleeper but Cena rams him into the corner to escape. A running clothesline gets two on John and we hit the chinlock. Cena’s comeback is thwarted again but he counters the Swing into an STF attempt, only to have Cesaro counter into the gutwrench for two. Cena has had barely any offense here. Another comeback bid is stopped with Swiss Death for two.

The Swing is loaded up again but Cena does a HUGE situp into a DDT for another close two. Cena goes up for the Fameasser but Cesaro hits a running uppercut to knock him all the way to the floor. Cesaro hits the awesome superplex from the apron for two as the fans are WAY into this.

Cena grabs a quick STF but pulls Cesaro away from the ropes, allowing Cesaro to hook the Swing for about fifteen revolutions and a two count. The Neutralizer is countered into an AA attempt but Cesaro lands on his feet in an amazing counter. Cena takes his head off with a clothesline and immediately rolls forward and picks up Cesaro for the AA and a fast pin at 19:05. Colter: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

Rating: A. This is the match I’ve been wanting to see for years now and it worked as well as I was hoping it to. Cena had almost no offense the entire match and made Cesaro look like one of the fastest rising stars you’ll see in years. Outstanding match here and more evidence that people who say Cena can’t wrestle have no idea what they’re talking about.

HHH and Orton are in the back and Orton implies that HHH will help him on SUnday.  Orton runs his mouth about HHH carrying Batista through Evolution and of course Big Dave is behind him.  Orton leaves and here’s Alberto Del Rio in a neckbrace to threaten Batista on Sunday.  Batista shoves him into some carts and walks away, leaving HHH looking dismayed.

Darren Young vs. Titus O’Neil has been added to the PPV. Titus cuts off Renee Young and asks her if she can spell champion. “C-h-a-….” but Titus cuts her off again and says it’s “T-I-T-U-S!”. On Sunday he’ll run Young over and the entire locker room will have to witness the rise of Titus O’Neil.

Wyatt Family vs. Los Matadores/Sin Cara

This should be quick. Diego tries his luck on Rowan to start but his shoulder block winds up hurting him more than Erick. Off to Luke for a hard forearm before Bray comes in for some creepy shouting and a suplex. Back to Harper for the Gator Roll but Diego finally scores with an enziguri.

The hot tag brings in Sin Cara who leaves a springboard clothesline a bit short but still hits a headscissors to knock Bray off the apron. The handspring elbow gets two as everything breaks down. Torito tries to go after Rowan but Los Matadores make the save. Sin Cara misses the Swanton on Harper and the discus lariat sets the table for Sister Abigail and the pin at 5:34.

Rating: D+. Just an extended squash here and thankfully Torito wasn’t a big factor in this. The good thing for the Family is how awesome Harper and Rowan look, meaning they’ll have a future when the group breaks up. The showdown on Sunday is going to be insane and it’s easily the match I’m looking forward to the most.

Billy Gunn vs. Jey Uso

Roadie and Jimmy are on commentary and the Tag Title match is made official for Sunday. Billy is quickly sent to the floor and Dogg gets up to check on him. Back in and a running clothesline gets two on Jey as Roadie shrugs off jokes about his age. The camera stays on the commentary table as Billy pounds away in the corner. Road Dogg brings up singing With My Baby Tonight to bring us back to the mid 90s. The Fameasser is countered into a quick rollup for the pin at 3:13. Too much of the match was spent on the commentary table to rate but this was angle advancement more than wrestling.

The Usos lay out the champions post match.

Sheamus is looking forward to the Chamber because he can be as aggressive as he wants.

Randy Orton vs. Sheamus

Non-title of course. The fans immediately start chanting for Punk as Sheamus takes Orton into the corner and shoulders him to the floor. Sheamus follows him out and is sent into the post but Orton is sent into the announce table to even things up. Back in and a knee drop gets two for Sheamus but he misses an early Brogue Kick attempt and is sent into the post again as we take a break.

Back with Sheamus fighting out of a chinlock and taking it to the floor for a whip into the barricade. Orton comes right back with a whip into the steps but Sheamus counters the superplex into a top rope battering ram to put both guys down. Randy bails again and goes after a monitor, only to catch Sheamus in the belly to back onto the announce table in a big crash.

Sheamus dives in at nine and avoids a knee drop, allowing the pale one to come back with forearms, only to walk into the powerslam for two. Orton is sent to the apron and there are the ten forearms. White Noise is countered into the backbreaker and the Elevated DDT looks to set up the RKO. Sheamus casually shrugs it off and hits three straight Irish Curses before loading up the Brogue Kick, only to have Shield run in for the DQ at 14:50.

Rating: C+. I feel sorry for these guys. They were in the match at the post Raw Wrestlemania with the New Jersey crowd and now they have to go on after Cena and Cesaro have their classic. The ending has me thinking something changes on Sunday and Reigns gets inside the Chamber but it’s a long way off.

The rest of the Chamber guys run in and we’ve got Wyatts. They stare down the Shield and the brawl is on to end the show. The fans went NUTS for the two teams fighting.

Overall Rating: A. Now THAT is how you do a go home show. Every match for Sunday got some time, the wrestling was good, the showdown between the Wyatts and Shield had me ready to hand over my money to see the payoff and we got a huge rub for Cesaro. This is the show that WWE has been needing for a few weeks, and I’m sure the fact that HHH was limited to a cameo had nothing at all to do with the quality going up. Awesome show this week that has me ready for Sunday.

Results

Daniel Bryan b. Christian – Rollup

Daniel Bryan b. Kane via DQ when Kane wouldn’t stop bending Bryan’s arm around the post

Fandango b. Santino Marella – Falcon’s arrow

Roman Reigns b. Mark Henry – Spear

Jack Swagger b. Kofi Kingston – Patriot Lock

Big E. b. Jinder Mahal/Drew McIntyre – Big Ending to McIntyre

John Cena b. Cesaro – Attitude Adjustment

Wyatt Family b. Sin Cara/Los Matadores – Sister Abigail to Sin Cara

Jey Uso b. Billy Gunn – Rollup

Sheamus b. Randy Orton via DQ when Shield interfered

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Raw was another mixed bag last night but things are looking interesting going into Elimination Chamber. There isn’t as much to talk about this week though.

We’ll start with the old white elephant in the room. Betty White was the guest star last night and was fine. She’s one of those celebrities that it’s hard to not like on some level. Her segments totaled about seven minutes total and while they weren’t funny, she didn’t hurt anything and was charming so I can’t complain too much. The Outlaws bit was rather dumb but that’s comedy in the WWE for you. Oh and Big Show gets mauled by Brock two weeks ago and comes out just fine? Really?

The Authority did their usual schtick by making Orton look like a hopeless joke which we just have to live with anymore. HHH and Stephanie aren’t getting shown up anytime soon because they’re just so darn likeable and amazing so Orton gets to be the scapegoat. Nothing much to this segment, but can we please stop with the cutting off promos ten seconds in? This has become a thing recently and happened with Orton and Kane last night. It’s kind of annoying, though at the same time it’s less Authority related talking I have to listen to so I’m split on this one.

There were two more long and well done tag matches with a six man and four man version. While both were entertaining, I’m getting a bit tired of them. There are so many stories going on right now and since Smackdown is absolutely worthless anymore, everything gets crammed into Raw in a bunch of tag matches. They’re entertaining, but I kind of roll my eyes when I hear one announced.

After the Wyatt six man we had a promo from Bray Wyatt, calling the Shield toy soldiers in a war they can’t win. Bray said after the war the Family would be moving on to another plan, which has to mean Cena. I’m excited either way as the Wyatts have nailed their gimmick so well it’s unreal.

Miz interrupted Santino vs. Fandango and ranted about not being able to get into a match while the two of them wrestled. As soon as he left, Cole asked what Miz’s problem was. Lines like that are what make me want to watch the show with the sound muted.

I liked Sheamus’ promo about walking into a bar with Christian. It was simple, to the point, and tied back into the Chamber. Nothing wrong with that.

Cesaro looked great in the tag match last night and needs to get away from Swagger immediately. That being said, it’s Swagger who looks to be turning face soon, even though the fans are behind Cesaro. Obviously Colter can’t be turned face, which is what makes me think it’s coming.

Ziggler is supposed to be in line for a push so they job him clean in 90 seconds. Gotta love WWE logic.

Batista beat up Del Rio and their match was announced for Elimination Chamber. I gave Batista the benefit of the doubt at the Rumble and still don’t mind him winning, but the spark is just not there at all. Batista looks in great shape and will probably be fine in the ring, but if he’s the one in the main event of Wrestlemania winning the title, the crowd is going to die a slow and painful death.

Lita is going into the Hall of Fame. The low cut tops she wore when she was with Edge alone are more than enough justification for me. Also, Trish has to induct her right?

It looks like we’re getting Usos vs. Outlaws soon which hopefully gives us the long overdue Usos title reign.

Ambrose’s open challenge was what it should have been. Henry wasn’t much of a challenger but at least it was a title defense that wasn’t wasted. One other thing though: what else was Henry going to do if there wasn’t an open challenge? His return was advertised all night and last week, so were we getting a basket weaving lesson unless Ambrose issued the challenge? Also Dean’s reaction with the bugged out eyes and forced smile when Henry’s music hit had me in stitches. The guy’s facial expressions are some of the best in wrestling today.

That brings us to the coolest part of last night’s show: the Wyatts came out after Ambrose’s match to stare down the Shield. The place went NUTS when it looked like the fight was on but Bray and company backed down. They need to let that match be an all out war instead of a tag match but it’s going to be awesome either way.

The Divas match last night was horrible. I beg of you WWE: put Finlay in charge of them again. The wrestling was horrid and they’re getting back into the horrible habit of the girls being models instead of wrestlers.

Kane vs. Bryan is coming and odds are it’ll be on a big Raw before Wrestlemania. No complaints from me.

The main event was of course Cena vs. Orton again, which isn’t as bad as people make it out to be. The matches are still good but I don’t get excited about them at all. It’s been done so many times now and the premise doesn’t work. Cena is so long since established as the top star and Orton just doesn’t work as the huge rival anymore.

That being said, there were some very good things about the match. First of all, I love how Orton learns during his matches. If you watch his work against guys he’s fought before, Orton will start countering/avoiding signature spots. He did it on Friday by countering the sunset flip out of the corner and last night he avoided the Cena shoulder blocks. It’s a very simple thing but it shows thinking in the ring, which is a lost art.

Speaking of lost arts, Orton put on a clinic in working a crowd like an old school heel last night. He stalled, he played to the crowd, and he had the people wanting Cena to kill him. If you want the fans to pay attention to you, pay attention to them. It’s how Cena has saved a ton of crowds from getting away from them and it’s how almost every top star ever has gotten where they are. Look back at Rock, Austin, Cena, Sting and Bryan now: they all play directly to the crowd and ask them to react to things. Fans love nothing more than being a part of the show and it works the same for heels. Good stuff in that area.

A few more notes about the show:

Can we get Cena checked for short term memory loss? A few weeks ago Orton attacked his dad and never mentioned it. Then the Wyatts cost him the title at the Rumble and he hasn’t talked about that either. I know it’s coming, but at least mention it again.

All of the champions in action lost last night. On top of that, the Outlaws were in a comedy segment that appealed to five year olds. I’m so glad we got the titles off of Goldust and Cody so the tag champions could be used in comedy sketches.

Has Big E. Langston fallen into a hole and no one has been around to hear him scream for help? The guy has disappeared since the Rumble.

Speaking of disappearing, does anyone remember Brock Lesnar demanding to be #1 contender? It looked like he was going to fight the Authority about it and then just disappeared. Good thing too, as it almost looked like the Authority might have to face some adversity and that’s not Best for Business.

Rumor has it that Shelton Benjamin worked a dark match against Tyson Kidd last night.  However, he and Kidd say this isn’t true so chalk another one up for internet reporters.

Steve Austin and RVD were backstage last night with Austin there to talk to Zeb Colter about being on the podcast. From what I’ve heard, there are no plans to bring RVD back to TV soon.

Overall Raw was entertaining, but there was nothing that needed to be seen. It did a good enough job building up the Chamber show, but it didn’t do much for me.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 10, 2014
Location: Staples Center, Los Angeles, California
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

We have an announced main event tonight with Orton continuing to run the Authority gauntlet, meaning tonight it’s Orton vs. Cena. Again. Other than that we’re getting closer to Shield vs. Wyatts at the PPV which has been a well built feud. That Reigns face turn is coming and it’s going to be huge when he spears Ambrose in half. To top it off, we get BETTY WHITE tonight. Let’s get to it.

We open with an In Memory graphic for Frank Bullock, a production worker who died over the weekend.

Thankfully we’re getting Betty White out of the way first as Big Show returns from the horrible beating at Royal Rumble like it was no big deal to escort her to the stage. She talks about how great it is to be here but the Authority cuts them off. Stephanie hugs White and that’s all for Betty and Big Show for now.

HHH talks about Orton losing last week, which means it’s time to reconsider who is the face of the WWE. It might be any of the six men inside the Elimination Chamber but Orton interrupts the boss. Stephanie: “Are you seriously doing this again?” That line writes about a dozen jokes on its own. She advises Randy to go to the back to get ready for his main event tonight but Orton thinks he owes the two of them an apology.

Orton says he needs to bring the Viper back for the rest of his reign, but Stephanie isn’t sure if she can believe him. A Daniel Bryan chant starts up as Orton talks about the Authority making a promise to him at Summerslam. Orton wants to be the face of the WWE outside of the ring, including being on every piece of advertising and merchandise that WWE produces because he’s the best in the company.

This brings out Daniel Bryan who is almost immediately cut off by Stephanie. She says everyone who wants to speak to them will need to make an appointment with the Director of Operations, but that’s why Bryan came out here. It seems that Kane is nowhere to be seen unless he’s doing the Authority’s bidding, including last week when he tried to help Orton win. Not that it mattered though, as Bryan pinned Randy last week. Tonight, Bryan doesn’t want an appointment with Kane, but he does want a match.

Stephanie says Kane is on administrative leave for a week and a VERY serious letter of performance approval on his file. Bryan says the Authority is a great combination of arrogance and stupidity but that sets Orton off. Daniel brings up a moment from not too long ago (about five years actually) when Orton handcuffed HHH to the ropes and kissed an unconscious Stephanie. HHH says hold off on the Punt because Bryan is getting the night off. The fans chant no but that’s the segment.

Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio vs. Wyatt Family

Cody pops Rowan in the jaw to start and dropkicks him into the good corner for a tag off to Goldust. A quick tag brings in Harper who charges into a boot in the corner, setting up a middle rope hurricanrana from Goldie. Cody adds a missile dropkick to send Luke outside, followed by a sliding Rey splash as we take a break.

Back with Rowan cranking on Goldust’s neck and forearming him in the jaw to stop a comeback attempt. Harper comes in with a hard slam for two but Cody comes in for the save. Off to Bray for his aggressive offense and a hard elbow to drop Goldust. Rowan gets two off a knee drop but walks into a middle rope elbow to the jaw to put both guys down. Goldust low bridges him to the floor but Harper comes in and knocks the partners off the apron. Luke walks into a powerslam though and the hot tag brings in Mysterio.

Rey sends Harper into the post and hits a top rope seated senton followed by a tornado DDT for two. Bray makes the save but caught in the 619 position. Harper joins him but Rey only hits Luke as Bray rams Mysterio face first into the apron. Cody and Goldust dive off the steps to take out some Wyatts, leaving Rey alone with Luke in the ring. Rey loads another 619 but Bray charges in and hits a running Sister Abigail for the pin at 10:25.

Rating: C+. Is anyone else getting tired of these six man tags? Shield and the Wyatts have been doing these matches for a year now and while they’re still entertaining, it’s becoming a “we’ve seen this” feeling. The ending sequence with the chaos is always fun but I’m starting to roll my eyes when I hear about a six man tag later in the show.

Post match Bray calls the Shield toy soldiers in a war that isn’t for them. After the war is over, it’s time for the Wyatt’s new day to begin.

Video on Reigns breaking Kane’s Royal Rumble record.

Renee Young asks Reigns about the Shield so he calls her baby girl and says actions speak louder than words. Ambrose and Reigns agree but Renee asks Ambrose about never defending the US Title. Apparently it takes a lot of paperwork to get a title match set up but Reigns doesn’t buy it. Dean puts out an open challenge for the title tonight and walks away, leaving Reigns smiling.

The Divas talk to Betty White when Vickie Guerrero comes in. We’re promised clips of Betty’s show about practical jokes but the New Age Outlaws come up to offer her protection from any pranks later tonight. They escort Betty off to get a cup of tea and the Divas aren’t sure what’s going on.

We look back at Cena vs. Orton at Breaking Point in 2009 with Orton basically filming a torture movie with Cena as the victim.

Santino Marella vs. Fandango

Santino has Emma with him. Fandango quickly takes him down with some headbutts as the fans chant for JBL. Miz comes out to commentary again and says how ridiculous it is for a Hollywood movie star like him to not be in a match while Twinkletoes and a guy whose act is older than Betty White can get in the ring. Cole: “What’s his problem?” Sanitno’s comeback goes nowhere as the headbutt hits knees, setting up the guillotine legdrop to give Fandango the pin at 2:23.

Byron Saxton (NXT commentator and former wrestler) asks Sheamus about teaming with Christian against the Real Americans later tonight. Sheamus talks about always respecting Christian, which makes the teaming a bit easier. Maybe they can even have a pint after the show. That would mean an Irishman and a Canadian walk into a bar on Hollywood Boulevard, but that sounds like the start of a bad joke. The Elimination Chamber isn’t a joke, because it’s the chance to go to Wrestlemania. Sheamus will kick anyone in the face to headline the biggest show of the year.

Sheamus/Christian vs. Real Americans

Before the match we get a quick promo from Christian who thinks he might make a good face of the WWE. He doesn’t have poster boy good looks, though is mom thinks he does. What he does have is a pair of World Heavyweight Titles, but he should make it three at Elimination Chamber. Colter does his usual schtick before the match and thinks Christian and Sheamus snuck across the border after their injuries.

Zeb says Cesaro starts and Swagger isn’t happy with it. A loud WE THE PEOPLE chant starts with Cesaro slamming Christian around before bringing in Swagger. Jack misses a charge in the corner and gets caught by a middle rope dropkick for two. Off to Sheamus who knocks Jack from corner to corner before it’s Cesaro back in with rights and lefts in the corner.

Sheamus comes back with a neckbreaker for two but Cesaro fires off a series of European uppercuts to the delight of the crowd. Sheamus is all BRING IT ON and the fans aren’t pleased as his comeback. A top rope shoulder gets two for the Irishman but a Swagger distraction lets Antonio kick Sheamus to the floor as we take a break. Back with Cesaro taking the Irish Curse for two before it’s back to Christian for a sunset flip, good for two of his own.

The middle rope elbow to the jaw puts Cesaro down but he fights out of the Killswitch. Christian charges into Swiss Death for two and it’s back to Swagger for a front facelock. Swagger breaks up a hot tag attempt and we get the Vader Bomb into the running double stomp for two. Cesaro loads up the Swing to a great reaction and Christian has to get back inside after a nine count. Swagger comes in with a powerslam for two of his own before tagging back to Cesaro, only to have Christian avoid a charge in the corner.

Jack is sent to the floor as well and it’s a double tag to Sheamus vs. Swagger. There are the ten forearms to get the fans back on Sheamus’ side and he loads up the Brogue Kick. Cesaro makes ANOTHER save before the kick is launched and Swagger puts Sheamus in the Patriot Lock. Christian comes in with a high cross body before taking Cesaro out with a DDT, setting up the Brogue Kick for the pin on Jack at 14:30.

Rating: C+. Nice match here again with Cesaro looking like a killer for the most part. The best sign for Sheamus was that the fans didn’t dislike him but that they liked Cesaro more. As soon as it was Sheamus vs. Swagger the fans were right back on Sheamus’ side, proving that he’s still a fan favorite. Cesaro needs to get away from Swagger like six months ago.

Cena says he and Orton have dominated WWE for ten years but now the fans are choosing new superstars like Daniel Bryan. The match tonight is about the future, as Cena closes his rivalry with Randy Orton once and for all. Why do they even bother with lines like that anymore? If the Wyatts, Shield, Cesaro or Bryan think they can be the future, know that they’ll have to go through Cena to get there.

Quick highlight reel of Batista Bombs.

Dolph Ziggler vs. Alberto Del Rio

Alberto fires off some quick kicks to start but Ziggler takes him down and hits the ten elbow drops. Ziggler gets two off the Fameasser but Del Rio kicks him in the knee and hits the low superkick for the pin at 1:30.

Del Rio goes after Dolph but Batista makes the save and spears Alberto down. He loads up the announce table and powerbombs Del Rio through it to shut him up for a change.

The Bellas tell us how to get the WWE Network.

HHH tells Batista he can’t do the kind of things he just did. A match between Del Rio and Batista is made for Elimination Chamber.

The newest Hall of Fame class is Lita. Nothing wrong with that.

Betty White has tea with the Outlaws but isn’t sure she should trust them. Dogg spikes the tea while Betty admires a tag title but stops to ask for lemons. She switches teacups with Billy while the Outlaws get lemons for her. Comedy will ensue later I’m sure.

Usos vs. Ryback/Curtis Axel

The Outlaws are out for commentary. Jey hammers away on Axel to start as Cole talks about the Outlaws fighting the Usos’ dads. Billy has a stomach ache and I think we’ve got some COMEDY coming up. Ryback comes in again to work on Jey in the corner as Billy’s ailments continue. Back to Axel as Dogg won’t agree to defend against the Usos. Ryback comes in to stomp away as the Goldberg chants begin.

Jimmy comes off the middle rope with a cross body and makes the tag to Jey as house is cleaned. A superkick puts Axel down as the Billy shenanigans continue. Jimmy dives over the top to take out Ryback while tagging at the same time. Jey comes in off the top with the Superfly Splash (while pointing at the Outlaws in midair) for the pin on Axel at 4:00.

Rating: D+. That ending sequence was awesome and I’m glad we’re getting to the Usos getting back in the title hunt. It’s WAY overdue for them to win the titles and a title change at Wrestlemania would be perfect. The Outlaws continue to be a waste of time as champions but if they lose before Wrestlemania it’ll be ok enough.

Billy leaves quickly with stomach issues.

US Title: Dean Ambrose vs. ???

This is Dean’s first defense since October and it’s Mark Henry accepting the challenge. So what was he going to do if there wasn’t an open challenge? The look on Dean’s face is GREAT as his eyes bug out with a terrified smile at the same time. We get big match intros and Ambrose is terrified from the opening bell. Henry shoves him down with ease despite having a heavily bandaged elbow.

Ambrose bails to the floor before getting in some kicks to the elbow. Henry kicks him square in the jaw to stop the champion’s control and sends him into the buckle a few times. Dean goes shoulder first into the post but he takes the brace off Henry’s bad elbow. Mark casually hiptosses him to the outside and we take a break.

Back with Dean still in control and putting on a Fujiwara armbar, only to have Henry fight up and slam Dean off the top. A powerslam crushes Ambrose and Henry counters the bulldog driver into the World’s Strongest Slam, only to have Rollins come in for the title saving disqualification at 8:00.

Rating: D. I’m glad Henry didn’t win as the title changing needs to be a bigger deal than an open challenge getting it off Ambrose. I’m glad it wasn’t Reigns either as the Shield has a big enough story going with the Wyatts to split even further at the moment. Boring match for the most part though and that’s not good.

Reigns spears Henry down post match but the Wyatts’ intro cuts them off. The Family comes to the ring for the face to face staredown and Shield comes back over the barricade. The Wyatts step forward as well as they’re all around the ring. The fans like what they see as Shield gets on the apron. Shield gets in the ring but the Wyatts back off with Bray smiling the whole way.

We look back at Orton attacking Cena’s dad a few weeks ago.

Black History Month video on Bobo Brazil.

Aksana/Alicia Fox/AJ Lee vs. Bella Twins/Cameron

Nikkia hits a quick facebuster on AJ to start and sends her to the floor before it’s off to Aksana. Nikki does the Worm for no apparent reason and kicks Aksana in the back for two. Brie comes in and is slammed down for two and it’s off to Alicia for another slam out of the corner for two more. A rollup gets two for Brie and Alicia runs her over to set up a chinlock. Nikki is sent to the floor as Cameron gets the hot tag and cleans house. Cameron takes Alicia down with a headscissors and gets two off a dropkick to the side of the head. A DDT, apparently called Girl Bye is enough to pin Fox at 4:43.

Rating: D-. Next. That’s all I’ve got here.

Be A Star rally at a middle school earlier today means we get MORE STEPHANIE!

We recap the opening segment.

Here’s Kane who accepts the punishment set down by the Authority and admits that it was ill advised to act on his own. Bryan cuts him off before this can go too far and the fight is on. Kane uppercuts Bryan down but gets low bridged to the floor. Bryan hits the FLYING GOAT and dropkicks Kane into the crowd.

Betty White thanks the fans for welcoming her and introduces us to the main event. Nothing wrong with that.

John Cena vs. Randy Orton

This DEFINES THE FUTURE, whatever that means. Feeling out process to start with Cena sending Orton outside off an armdrag. Back in and John grabs a headlock and gets a quick one off a hiptoss, sending Orton bailing to the floor again. Orton hits the ring again and pounds on Cena with right hands followed by a back elbow to the jaw. They head back outside with Cena being rammed face first into the announce table and dropped back first onto the barricade.

Back from a break with Orton stomping away but getting slammed down. Cena starts his comeback but Orton ducks the second shoulder as everyone knows it’s coming. That’s one thing I’ve always liked about Orton: he’s one of the few guys that learns from earlier matches. Back in and Cena tries an AA but gets caught with a DDT for two. Orton listens to the crowd a bit too long and it’s Cena hitting his finishing sequence but Randy counters the AA into a backbreaker for two.

Cena still can’t hit the AA and gets caught in a powerslam for two more. John blocks a superplex attempt but gets caught in the Elevated DDT out of the corner. There’s no cover though as Orton yells at the crowd and laughs evily. The RKO is countered into the STF but Randy is quickly in the ropes.

A dropkick from the champion puts Cena down again and Randy gets serious by POINTING TO THE SIGN. Orton misses the Punt but escapes the AA for the fourth time tonight before the RKO gets two. The required AA gets the required near fall but Orton fights out of the middle rope AA. Cena hits the top rope Fameasser and grabs a quick AA for the pin at 20:53.

Rating: C+. Now NEVER LET THEM FIGHT AGAIN. That’s what’s so annoying about this never ending series: the matches are usually good like this one was, but I just do not want to see them fight anymore. Any kind of spark this match used to have is gone as Cena has easily won the rivalry over the years and there’s just nothing special to it anymore.

Overall Rating: C-. This felt like Smackdown on a Monday night. Nothing here felt like I needed to see it and none of the stories felt like they went anywhere. Batista vs. Del Rio for the PPV was a given, the Shield and Wyatts didn’t really do anything new, Ambrose defended the title in a meaningless match, and I think I’ve seen that main event somewhere before. It wasn’t a bad show or anything but this episode could easily have been skipped with nothing changing in a fan’s eyes. It’s ok to have one of those around this time, as long as it doesn’t become the norm.

Results

Wyatt Family b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust/Rey Mysterio – Sister Abigail to Mysterio

Fandango b. Santino Marella – Guillotine legdrop

Sheamus/Christian b. Real Americans – Brogue Kick to Swagger

Alberto Del Rio b. Dolph Ziggler – Superkick

Usos b. Ryback/Curtis Axel – Superfly Splash to Axel

Mark Henry b. Dean Ambrose via DQ when Seth Rollins interfered

Bella Twins/Cameron b. AJ Lee/Aksana/Alicia Fox – Girl Bye to Fox

John Cena b. Randy Orton – Attitude Adjustment

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 22, 2002
Location: Savvis Center, St. Louis, Missouri
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

Thankfully we’re past Backlash but Hulk Hogan is once again WWF Champion after winning one of the most boring main events in recorded history last night. The result: he gets another match with Undertaker at Judgment Day as we drag this company even further back into the 90s. Hopefully the show is more interesting than last week’s mess. Let’s get to it.

We open with a recap of the title change last night to make everyone feel good. Uh yeah….good is the right word.

Brock Lesnar vs. Matt Hardy

Matt comes in through the crowd to get in a cheap shot on Brock but Lesnar comes back with a spinebuster to reinjure the damaged ribs. Three straight backbreakers have Hardy in even more trouble and there’s a bearhug for good measure. Brock misses a charge into the post and injures his arm so Matt wraps it around the post. A Side Effect sets up a pair of legdrops off the ropes but Brock easily counters the Twist of Fate into the F5. A spinning powerbomb is enough for the referee to stop the match before Matt’s dead body starts decomposing.

Rating: C-. Not a total squash but it was exactly what it needed to be. Brock comes off like a monster who just destroyed a former multiple time champion. The Hardys were on the down side of their team career at this point but they were still good to be fed to Lesnar like pieces of tattooed meat.

Some tech guys are annoyed at Flair for costing Austin the title shot last night despite it being an honest mistake. Undertaker pops up and says he owes Flair one.

Here’s Undertaker with something to say. He thanks Flair for a job well done last night and says he would have won no matter who was refereeing last night. This takes a bit longer than it should due to the WHAT treatment. Now he gets to go to Judgment Day to face Hulk Hogan and the nostalgia trip. Hogan can thank him later for giving him the victory over HHH, but at Judgment Day Undertaker is Hulkamania’s judge, jury and executioner.

As Undertaker is talking, here’s HHH coming down to the ring and wanting a fight. Undertaker rightly points out that only champions can be on both shows but it’s HHH so rules don’t apply I guess. The fight is on and heads outside with HHH in control and blasting Undertaker in the head with a monitor. Referees finally drag HHH off but he beats them up too and goes after the bloody Undertaker. They fight into the back with HHH throwing Undertaker into various objects before pulling out a sledgehammer. Referees finally break it up before any murdering occurs.

And now: Booker T and Goldust at the Movies! Today’s feature: the Scorpion King. Goldust talks about deep meanings in the film but Booker says just roll the footage. Booker liked the movie but thinks he would have been a better star. We get another clip with Booker (in wrestling gear) superimposed over Rock. “I’m a five time WCW Champion. AND I GOT A SWORD TOO!” Goldust has the same kind of clip and it’s rather disturbing. Booker: “If you had starred in this movie, it would have been the Scorpion QUEEN!”

William Regal, old villain that he is, liked Flair’s officiating last night.

Rob Van Dam vs. Mr. Perfect

Intercontinental Champion Eddie Guerrero is on commentary and offers a distraction to let Perfect get in a cheap shot. They head outside with Van Dam scoring with a moonsault from the apron and heading back inside. Eddie rips on JR in Spanish with Jerry cracking up. Back in and Rob misses a kick but hits the second attempt for two. Rolling Thunder connects for two more and Perfect gets the same off a rollup with his feet on the ropes. Not that it matters as Rob kicks him again and the Five Star is good for the pin.

Eddie immediately gets in the ring and lays out RVD but misses the Frog Splash.

We get a Hogan Flashback to his first title win, just a short 18 years ago.

Trish Stratus/Jacqueline vs. Molly Holly/Jazz

Jackie grabs a headlock on Molly to start before hiptossing her down. Trish gets to come in and get a piece of Jazz, avoiding a charge into the corner and cranking on Jazz’s arm. Jazz gets in a shot to Trish’s bad back before slamming her down by the hair. Jackie and Molly come back in as everything breaks down. Trish is whipped HARD into the steps and Jazz hits Jackie with the belt, allowing Molly to pin her off a clothesline. That whip into the steps made up for the short match.

Arn Anderson doesn’t know if he can trust Flair after last night either.

Here’s Flair to talk about the Austin situation from last night. It was an accident and he totally respects Austin and doesn’t want a war. Austin comes out and with a lot of WHATs, says he doesn’t care how many titles Flair has won. Flair cuts him off and says it’s 16 before offering Austin a peace treaty: a match with Bradshaw as his partner against the NWO. Guess how Austin reacts.

Dudley Boys vs. Goldust/Booker T

Spike dives on Booker and Goldust during their entrances and we start fast. Bubba chops Goldust to start and sends him into the corner for some right hands to the ribs and a belly to back suplex. The middle rope backsplash misses and it’s Goldust with right hands of his own. Bubba comes right back with the Flip Flop and Fly and Spike comes in off the top with a double stomp for two.

Booker finally does something by kneeing Spike in the back, allowing Goldust to clothesline him to the floor. T keeps up his offense by sending Spike into the steps and then comes in to stomp in the corner. A big flapjack (Spike sells that so well) puts the little man down and it’s back to Goldie who gets rolled up for a quick two. Off to a sleeper from Goldust but Spike gets free and kicks him away, allowing the tag to Bubba.

The future Bully cleans house and shouts “COME ON YOU BIG BLACK MAN” at Booker before taking him down with a side slam. The fans want tables as Bubba drops a bunch of elbows, dances, and drops another elbow. Spike adds a top rope seated senton for two on Booker and Bubba wants some tables. Bubba goes to get one on his own, allowing Booker to hit a quick ax kick for the pin on Spike.

Rating: D+. Standard tag team formula here but it’s nothing interesting at all. With the Tag Titles over on Smackdown, these matches are really just filling time and not going anywhere. It also doesn’t help that Booker and Goldust are a funny team but still portrayed as heels. Well closer to heel than faces at least.

Post match Steven Richards comes out to try and steal the Hardcore Title but Spike makes the save and lets Bubba powerbomb Richards through the table.

Tommy Dreamer runs into Shawn Stasiak and Shawn isn’t pleased. Oh wait it’s PLANET Stasiak here, whatever that means. Regal comes up to laugh and winds up with a match against Stasiak.

William Regal vs. Shawn Stasiak

Brass knuckles, no bell, pin for Regal anyway in 12 seconds. Why the referee counted while literally watching Regal put the knuckles in his trunks is beyond me.

Bradshaw is out cold in the back and Flair thinks he knows whodunit.

Flair goes to find Hall and X-Pac and Kevin Nash walks out of a bathroom. Nash gets ejected and Big Show is added as Austin’s partner. I knew Big Show was joining that night when I saw this live.

Hogan comes out for his big celebration but just says he showed Vince and thanks the fans. Hulkamania is running wild and all that jazz you see.

Big Show/Steve Austin vs. NWO

X-Pac tries a spinwheel kick on Big Show and just bounces off. Hall comes in and is shoved down as well (JR: “Like a cheeseburger!”) so he wants Austin. Steve cleans house but gets caught by a knee lift from Hall followed by some right hands. Back to X-Pac and it’s spinebusters all around for the NWO. Big Show doesn’t seem interested in helping Austin deal with the double teaming.

A series of chops have X-Pac in trouble and Austin stomps a mudhole in both NWO members at the same time. Austin misses a charge and crotches himself on the ropes to give the NWO a few moments of control. A quick Thesz Press and middle finger elbow have Hall in trouble but X-Pac makes the save to stop any comeback.

Austin fights out of an abdominal stretch, only to walk into a clothesline for a few two counts. X-Pac comes back in but gets pounded in the face very quickly. Austin gets taken down by a spinwheel kick and it’s back to Hall for some running clotheslines in the corner. They trade sleepers until Austin fights out and tags Big Show, who immediately chokeslams Austin for the no contest.

Rating: D+. Boy it sure is convenient that Flair picked someone about to join the NWO. Of course Flair wasn’t in on it or anything (not being sarcastic) so the whole thing is a stretch, even by wrestling logic. The match sucked as you would expect it to with the NWO just not being an interesting concept at all.

Overall Rating: D+. It’s a more energetic show with less (though still existing) stupid moments. They had nowhere to go but up after last week so it’s not a huge compliment but I could at least tolerate this episode. Austin vs. Flair just isn’t doing it for me and I don’t think many people felt differently. There’s just not much to care about right now and it’s showing badly. Also: they managed to last a month without screwing up the Brand Extension. That’s better than I expected.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: April 15, 2002
Location: Reed Arena, College Station, Texas
Commentators: Jim Ross, Jerry Lawler

It’s the go home show for Backlash and to say things aren’t all that interesting is an understatement. The main story is Ric Flair replacing Vince as the newest authority figure for Austin to rebel against. Pay no attention to the fact that it feels completely forced and isn’t exactly firing up the fans. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Flair to open the show and talk about Austin Stunning him last week. There’s no hard feelings because he loves Austin and doesn’t want a war. The Stunner wasn’t cool though but Austin cuts him off before he can go any further. Flair will accept the first Stunner from a few weeks ago but won’t take last week’s lying down. Austin’s penalty: a $5000 fine.

Austin gets his own mic and lists off people he didn’t face last week before saying Flair put him in the ring with Scott Hall. Flair didn’t help him last week and Austin didn’t need him to. That’s the bottom line but here’s Undertaker to keep this segment going. In a speech that somehow takes nearly two minutes, Undertaker says he’ll beat Austin on his own while Austin needs Flair on Sunday. Both guys threaten Flair if he gets involved at Backlash, so Flair makes himself guest referee.

This brings out the NWO because 2002 Monday Night Raw was really annoying. Hall complains about Flair getting involved in the main event last week and wants another piece of Austin tonight. Flair says no but Bradshaw comes out for a big brawl to finally end this stupid segment with Flair looking livid.

Post break Flair makes Austin/Bradshaw vs. Hall/X-Pac/Undertaker for the main event.

Hardcore Title: Bubba Ray Dudley vs. Raven

Bubba is defending and Raven brings out a shopping cart full of goodies. They trade weapons shots to start until Raven is slammed off the top. He comes back with various other hard objects to Bubba’s head including a trashcan but Bubba says bring it on. They collide in the corner and bash each others’ brains in with trashcan lids until they’re both down. Bubba takes over and slams Raven down before dancing into an elbow drop. He tells himself to get the tables but takes too long, allowing Raven to DDT him for the pin and the title.

Tommy Dreamer comes out and hits a Death Valley Driver for the pin and the title.

Stevie Richards comes out and superkicks Dreamer for the pin and the title.

Bubba gets up and hits Richards with a guitar for the pin and the title to end the segment.

Rating: D-. After a long opening segment that went nowhere, I have to sit through this tired idea for another five minutes? The joke is dead already so let’s just have the same guys do the same stuff for weeks on end right? Also, Tommy Dreamer shouldn’t pin Raven in six seconds, period.

Big Show vs. Shawn Stasiak

Shawn goes for the leg to start, it works for a bit, then it doesn’t work, chokeslam and we’re done.

Eddie says that RVD stole the Frog Splash and the Intercontinental Title but he’ll take them both from Van Dam on Sunday. He and Regal will beat RVD and Spike tonight as well.

Goldust kind of apologizes for costing Booker the Hardcore Title last week but gets more bizarre than usual of course. Booker says he’s getting too old for this.

Debra spills coffee on Undertaker and is scared of what might happen. End of segment.

Jackie vs. Crash

Jackie hits him once, goes up top for a missile dropkick and sunset flips him for the pin in thirty seconds. She’s from TEXAS you see.

Regal says he’ll get his title back on Sunday.

Rob Van Dam/Spike Dudley vs. William Regal/Eddie Guerrero

Nothing wrong with combining two feuds into one match. Regal, ever the evil Englishman, jumps Spike before the bell and knocks him outside. RVD starts with Regal and kicks him down as JR talks about the educated feet. A monkeyflip puts Regal down and it’s off to Spike and Eddie with the latter scoring with a quick tilt-a-whirl slam.

Back to Regal for a German suplex to send Spike outside for a cheap shot from Eddie. Double teaming ensues for a bit until Spike “accidentally” hits Regal low and tags in Van Dam. Everything breaks down and Rob hits all his signature stuff for a series of two counts. Regal kicks Spike down as Rob is sent to the floor, setting up the frog splash on Dudley for the pin.

Rating: D+. Not much to see her ebut it could have been worse. If nothing else it’s nice to have a match that lasts more than three minutes tonight after all those worthless encounters earlier. Also did we really have to see Spike get pinned after winning a title just a week ago?

Rob kicks Eddie down and loads up the Five Star but Regal makes the save.

Molly and Trish are in the back with Molly calling Trish a w****. The big reveal of all this is that Molly is a virgin, which of course makes her a heel because it’s the WWF.

Molly Holly vs. Trish Stratus

The winner gets a title shot against Jazz at Backlash. Molly is all ticked off and hiptosses Trish down to start before cranking on an armbar. The fans want puppies as Holly stays on the arm, only to duck to the floor to avoid a right hand. Stratus rams her into the announce table but walks into some elbows back inside for two. A backbreaker gets the same but Molly misses the Molly Go Round as the announcers argue over waiting for marriage. The Chick Kick gets two on Molly before Trish reverses a rollup out of the corner for the pin.

Rating: D+. Both girls looked great but the commentary was rather disturbing. I mean….since when is being a virgin the worst thing a woman can do? Could it be that Vince McMahon is a sex obsessed dirty old man that thinks women are little more than objects? Well when he isn’t treating muscular men as objects that is.

X-Pac wears Kane’s mask, making the backstage area look a bit better.

Lita is worried about Matt fighting Brock Lesnar on Sunday so Heyman comes in and implies he’ll have Lesnar go easy for sex. Lita is OFFENDED so Heyman takes one of her thongs and earns himself a slap.

Hardy Boys vs. Goldust/Booker T

It’s a brawl to start until Goldust and Matt get things going. Booker quickly gets the tag and punches Matt in the face before stomping him down near the corner. Matt comes back with a quick Side Effect and the too early to be tag brings in Jeff. The more famous of the Hardys cleans house and back to back Poetrys in Motion have the Hardys in control. Heyman comes out with the STOLEN THONG and lures Matt to the stage, allowing Booker to hit the Book End on Jeff for the fast pin.

Heyman is sitting on the stage with Lita’s suitcase, drawing Matt up the ramp with a bra. Brock comes out and the fight is on, resulting in the F5 on the stage. Lita and Jeff freak out as Lesnar leaves.

HHH comes out and spends the better part of ten minutes saying the following: he’s the champion, he’s the UNDISPUTED Champion, he’ll beat Hogan, Hogan was stupid to come back, and he’ll beat the winner of Austin and Undertaker. Seriously, ten minutes.

Bradshaw/Steve Austin vs. NWO/Undertaker

Big brawl to start until we get down to Undertaker vs. Austin. Undertaker slugs him around but walks into the Thesz Press. He escapes the Stunner so Austin flips him off, earning a tag to X-Pac. A quick mudhole is stomped and the whip spinebuster puts X-Pac and Hall down before it’s off to Bradshaw. X-Pac gets in his first real offense with a spinwheel kick and the heels take over.

Off to Hall for some right hands but Bradshaw scores with a big forearm to the back. A DDT gets two on Scott and it’s back to Austin who gets sent to the floor for a beating by Undertaker. Back in and X-Pac clotheslines Austin down for two but Hall gets the tag and a double clothesline puts both legal men down. Bradshaw comes in and cleans house with big boots as everything breaks down. Austin and Undertaker fight to the floor and the Clothesline from Bradshaw is enough to pin X-Pac.

Rating: D. So uh….YAY TEXAS? Seriously was there any other point to this match except for making Texas look great? The match was nothing to see and the NWO is just stupid at this point. Austin is going through the motions and that could be said for the entire show. Not a bad match but totally uninspiring.

Undertaker clocks Austin with a chair to end the show.

Overall Rating: D-. I can tolerate bad shows. I can tolerate stupid shows. I have a very hard time sitting through shows where it’s clear that no one cares at all and that’s what’s going on here. It’s clear that no one has any interest in what’s going on around here and that there’s no effort being put in at all. That drives me crazy and makes these shows impossible to sit through.

Here’s Backlash if you’re interested:

http://kbwrestlingreviews.com/2012/05/22/backlash-2002-the-definition-of-bleh-meh-eh-and-all-other-uninterested-non-words-you-can-think-of/

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Last night’s show was polarizing to say the least. I’ve seen people calling it a classic to a decent show to the worst show in a long time. As usual I found myself right in the middle. We’ll start with the beginning of course.

First and foremost, the crowd was chanting for CM Punk throughout the night. Here’s the thing that people keep forgetting: Punk walked out on the company and the fans. In a word, he quit. Punk wasn’t being held back by the company, he wasn’t being misused and he wasn’t some kind of a martyr. He quit a job that he wasn’t happy at anymore and that’s all there was to it. The fans chanting for him comes off as more anti-WWE than pro-Punk, but that’s not what it should be.

This brings me to the Authority, who interrupted Orton while he was fighting the Punk chants. To clarify, HHH didn’t want Bryan to be champion but now that Orton has done everything HHH wants, HHH doesn’t want Orton as champion either and keeps setting up new hoops for Randy to jump through. Then he’s all pro-Bryan even though nothing seems to have changed between the two of them. Whether he’s acting like one or not, HHH is supposed to be a heel but isn’t acting like one at all. Last week was great when he was acting like a corporate jerk to Bryan but being the same to Orton is just confusing.

Next up was the further murdering of the midcard title scene. JBL mentioned that Ambrose never defends his US Title and Langston loses the fall. Big E. suddenly has nothing to do at all after spending weeks fighting off a challenger of the month for the title which was as basic of a story as you can get but it worked fine. Now both champions are making the titles look more and more worthless despite being strong to start. In other words, they’re the same as every midcard champion has been for years.

Shield vs. Wyatts is going to be amazing. I don’t think I need to go any further than that.

I don’t get the deal with Lawler interrupting Bad News Barrett. I don’t think they’re building to a match between the two of them, but Barrett needs ANYTHING to do right now and Jerry Lawler isn’t going to make things better for him. He was a good character when he was pointing out how bad stuff was, but saying stuff like “eating junk food is bad for you” isn’t going to get anyone to care about him.

Swagger losing is little more than another losing streak angle that they’ve used a dozen times before. Stop with the same ideas over and over again and come up with some actual stories for the split. Say Swagger is in love with a foreign chick or have Sin Cara help him so Swagger realizes Colter is wrong or something so people can actually RELATE TO HIM instead of just making him look pathetic and going for pity.

Betty White as the guest host is just…..there. She’ll make some people chuckle, she’ll interact with some comedy guys, she’ll make fun of low level heels, and then she’ll leave and will be mentioned once more in about a year or so and people will say “Oh yeah. She was on Raw once.” Seriously, that’s it.

Now on to the biggest disaster of the night: that cage match. This was just horrible for a few reasons. First and foremost, the Outlaws just aren’t any good in the ring and I have no idea why people would expect them to be. Do you remember the Outlaws in the 90s? They were the Honky Tonk Man of the division, winning by cheating in ways that no one had even invented yet and stealing the belts from every team that deserved them until the fans found their antics funny and turned them face as a result.

Now they’re beating a good team clean because people remember them as awesome and think that means they used to be good in the ring. It doesn’t help that they’re playing to the crowd and can do that as well as any team in history so the fans are always going to cheer for them, making Cody and Goldust, as in the team that has worked harder than anyone to get over, look like afterthoughts as we set up their singles feud (which no one wants to see) through ANOTHER losing streak angle.

In other words, we’re pushing nostalgia as faces (nothing wrong with that) at the expense of good faces (a lot wrong with that). Have the Outlaws doing this stuff to 3MB or the Real Americans or ANY heel team and the act is much more fun and logical than anything else. Instead it’s hurting Goldust and Cody to make a team with an average age of 47 years old and who are only out there on a nostalgia run. On top of that, their matches have SUCKED and Road Dogg nearly let Cody kill himself by not taking a step to the left to catch him. Oh and why can Road Dogg swear during the in-ring entrances but not the song opening?

Moving on to the next match we have Titus O’Neil as a monster heel which I really dig. The guy was the best thing not named the Usos about the dying days of the original NXT and I’d love to see him pushed as something that matters. The Clash of the Titus is a great power move and looks awesome when used.

During that same match we had Miz come out and complain that he couldn’t get on the show while a guy that makes internet championships and a guy who barks like a dog get TV time. Word on the street is that he’s being paired with Ziggler (check out the promo from the App on Smackdown to see more. We’ll be back to Dolph later) as two disgruntled performers who want to be higher on the card. Sounds like they’re parodying/mocking Punk to me but maybe not.

What I liked here though was Miz felt spontaneous. How many times have you seen a match end and we cut to the back where two people just happen to be standing in front of a camera so it can catch their conversation, which clearly hasn’t started until the match ended? That kind of thing drives me insane because it looks SO scripted. Miz coming out during a match made it feel like he had to get this off his chest and didn’t flag down a cameraman and demand time so it could be aired after the match. It happened right then and there, making it feel more realistic. I miss that so much anymore.

This brings us to the dance off with Summer Rae and Emma. They did this same bit in NXT which worked better there because of one simple reason: the fans know who Emma is. This is the same reason why Diamond Dallas Page never got over in the WWF. See, down in NXT it’s a much more close knit atmosphere. The fans feel like they’re a part of the show and they’ve embraced Emma and want their people to be the little engines that can and show they can be just as good as WWE (same as ECW when you think about it).

Well WWE fans have no idea who Emma is for the most part. She’s just some chick that dances in the crowd and holds up a sign that says EMMALUTION while Cole says “Oh she’s from NXT”, which a lot of fans have no idea exists. The people didn’t care about Emma because they have no reason to care about Emma. She’s just some chick that has been at Raw for the last month and apparently dances a lot. Why should I care about that unless I watch NXT?

Next up was Sheamus not squashing Curtis Axel in seven minutes. Sheamus is in the world title match at the next PPV and took seven minutes to beat a jobber to the stars. That’s not acceptable.

Batista was up next but thankfully was cut off by Alberto Del Rio. Why are these two fighting? Because Del Rio thinks Batista doesn’t deserve that title shot. Not that Del Rio wants the title shot for himself or anything, because that would just be a stupid thing to add to the match. It might actually intrigue people or something and we wouldn’t want that.

The Wyatts squashed the dancers and Ziggler to further make my head hurt. The announcers acknowledged the promo Ziggler cut and then he goes out and gets destroyed in five minutes like nothing has changed at all. This is what I’m talking about when I say the writers don’t remember anything that happened five minutes ago. Have Dolph be frustrated or try extra hard or SOMETHING, but don’t have him say one thing then do another and expect us to care about him. Or maybe you could, I don’t know, SHOW US THE PROMO instead of just hyping the App. You show us stuff from it every week but not that?

There was a Divas match between Naomi and Aksana which was just embarrassing. Near the end Naomi caught Aksana in a head scissors position out of the corner but didn’t take Aksana down. Instead she just wiggled her hips in the air and let go. From a kayfabe perspective, what does that accomplish? How does that help Naomi win the match? It makes her look like she doesn’t take this seriously, so why should I take her as a serious challenger to AJ?

Last up was the main event, which made things even worse. First of all let me clarify: the match was very entertaining, but the story made no sense. Kane interfered at the end, presumably sent by the Authority (unless the Authority complains about him interfering later, we have no reason to assume they disagree with what he did) to help Orton win. Why would they come out and help Orton win if they seemingly had no problem with Bryan beating him?

Again, the Authority tries to play both sides without ever playing heels ON CAMERA. Their interference is implied here, but whenever they’re on screen they’ll be talking down to Orton like he’s a child (imagine someone saying that to Rock, Austin, Hogan, or any other champion. The reaction alone would turn them face but instead Orton just nods and accepts it because the Authority is all powerful and cannot be questioned) and say Orton has to regain their trust before starting this cycle all over again.

To put it into one sentence, the Authority storyline makes no sense. What do they want? Orton as face of the company? Fine, but if they want him as face of the company, why constantly move the goal posts on him? You do that to people you hate, not people you want to be the top guy. Vince did it to Austin and Bischoff did it to WCW when he ran the NWO. And why is HHH backing Bryan after spending months telling him he was worthless? The Authority is Johnny Ace without the goofy charisma and that’s not a good thing at all.

A few other notes here:

Were there any backstage segments last night? There weren’t a ton on Smackdown that I remember and now there were none last night. I rather like that idea as there are usually WAY too many and they drag the show down. One or two is fine but keep those things quick and have them mean something.

No Cena due to the eye injury which is all you can ask for. He ran in for the post show beatdown of Orton and Kane but I’d assume his eye was too messed up to be seen on camera. That’s the right idea as you need him healthy for Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania, not a Raw in early February.

Overall I thought Raw was good last night, but this Authority nonsense has been going on WAY too long. The Authority is fine as a heel idea, but have them be HEELS, not people who treat everyone like garbage. It makes your heels look weak and keeps fans from caring about seeing them get beaten up. A double standard is a heel tactic, but when you use it on another heel, it just confuses people.

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

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Monday Night Raw
Date: February 3, 2014
Location: CenturyLink Center, Omaha, Nebraska
Commentators: Michael Cole, John Bradshaw Layfield, Jerry Lawler

The big story from last week is CM Punk walking out on the company due to reasons that aren’t entirely clear. There’s always the possibility that it’s a work, but as of right now there’s a very good chance Punk isn’t at Wrestlemania. Other than that we’re three weeks away from Elimination Chamber and the card is already getting filled in. Let’s get to it.

Here’s Orton to open the show and he immediately has to talk over the CM Punk chant. He says the Authority is trying to teach him something, even though he won the title with hard work. Orton asks the fans how many times he has to beat all five of his opponents inside the chamber. Randy says he’ll keep the title there and at Wrestlemania against Batista. Back in Evolution they were equals but now Orton is simply the better man.

This brings out the Authority (with Stephanie showing off some large arms) to talk down to Orton about how he needs to calm down. HHH goes into the same speech he’s had every week for months now: he’s not sure if Orton is worthy of being the face of the WWE and they might be losing faith in him. Stephanie says Orton is going to be facing all five of his opponents in the coming weeks and if he loses tonight, we might have a new face of the WWE: Daniel Bryan. HHH stats a YES chant, basically erasing the entire end of 2013 from existence.

Shield vs. Big E. Langston/Rey Mysterio/Kofi Kingston

Not a bad group of midcard challengers. Langston takes Ambrose into the corner to start before it’s off to Kofi who cranks on the arm for a bit. The announcers bring up the fact that Ambrose never defense the US Title as it’s off to Rollins who gets taken down by a monkey flip and a running clothesline in the corner for two. Ambrose comes back in and takes Kofi down before handing it back to Rollins for a front facelock. Seth cranks on Kofi’s head but misses a knee drop, allowing for the hot tag to Mysterio.

A seated senton from the top and a kick to the head are good for two but Rollins makes a blind tag to Reigns. Rey tries a hurricanrana on Rollins but gets caught by a jumping clothesline from Reigns which allows Seth to powerbomb him down for two as we take a break. Back with Reigns holding a chinlock on Mysterio before it’s back to Ambrose for some jumping stomps. Dean puts on a chinlock of his own before Rey fights up and slams him down, allowing for the real hot tag to Langston.

Big E. runs over Reigns and hits the belly to belly and Warrior Splash for two until the other Shield members save. Everything breaks down until we’re back to Reign vs. Langston with Big E. hitting the Superman Punch. Reigns loads up the spear but Ambrose tags himself in and hits the bulldog driver for the pin on Big E. at 11:34.

Rating: C+. Shield looks good as expected and there’s drama at the end to set up the potential split even more. It’s going to be a big moment when Reigns Superman Punches Ambrose’s head off or spears the vest off of him. A Kofi loss would have been better than Langston here though. I never care to see champions lose.

Post match the Wyatts pop up on the screen with Bray talking about knowing Shield’s blueprint. They spend their days crawling to that beautiful moment where they can sacrifice themselves in the name of their king. That moment is closer than they think because Bray is building his empire close to the see so he can watch his enemies drown with a smile on his face. Harper says that he (presumably meaning Bray) has always been their king. Rowan leans forward with the sheep mask and says run.

Bad News Barrett thinks it’s funny that 112 million people who watched the Super Bowl and ate so much junk food that they won’t be alive for next year’s game. Jerry Lawler of all people gets on the announce table and says hopefully Barrett won’t be here next week. Nothing more to it than that.

How to download the WWE App. Even JBL and Lawler make fun of him for this. Cole turns it into a plug for the WWE Network, spelling out the savings on buying all the PPVs. We also get a clip of the Countdown show.

Christian vs. Jack Swagger

Rematch from Smackdown. Jack takes him right to the mat and puts on Luke Harper’s Gator Roll before driving him into the corner. Christian sends him to the floor but Jack trips him up to send Christian face first into the apron. A whip into the steps gets two for Jack and a beal gets the same. Swagger rams him back first into the buckle and puts Christian down with a powerslam for another two.

The fans get behind the Canadian and he gets a boot up to stop a charging Swagger. A middle rope missile dropkick puts Swagger down again but Jack knees Christian in the ribs to slow him down. The gutwrench powerbomb is countered into a reverse DDT for two and Christian starts clapping. He snaps Jack’s back across the ropes but has to fight out of the Patriot Lock. The Killswitch is countered as is the middle rope sunset flip. The Vader Bomb hits feet though and now the sunset flip out of the corner is good for the pin on Swagger at 5:55.

Rating: C+. I liked this much more than I thought I would. Swagger is good in the ring but he needs to shake off this loser stigma that he’s acquired. He’s a guy with a lot of ability but he’s in need of repackaging at this point. Still though, good match here with both guys looking better than I expected.

The cage is lowered.

Betty White is guest starring next week. Just….why?

Tag Titles: New Age Outlaws vs. Cody Rhodes/Goldust

The Outlaws are defending and you can only win by pinfall or submission, not escaping. We get the big match intros after a break and we’re ready to go. Goldust grabs a headlock on Road Dogg to start before taking Dogg down in something like an armdrag. He gets on all fours to chase Roadie to the corner but Goldust lets him go. Road Dogg asks Billy what they’re doing in here before tagging Gunn in to face Goldust.

Cody comes in with a sunset flip out of the corner for two and a small package gets the same. Back to Road Dogg who takes Cody into the corner as a CM Punk chant starts and quickly dies. Billy comes in again and pulls Cody’s bad elbow around the top rope before putting on an armbar. The announcers talk about the tag division until it’s back to Goldust for an armbar on Road Dogg. Not exactly inspiring stuff so far.

Goldust pounds on Dogg in the corner with right hands but misses a cross body and crashes into the cage to change momentum as we take a break. Back with Goldust still in trouble via a Road Dogg chinlock until it’s back to Gunn who walks into a clothesline out of the corner. Goldust finally makes the hot tag to Cody as everything breaks down. The Disaster Kick gets two on Billy and Cody is frustrated. He looks up at the top of the cage, tells Billy to suck it and starts to climb. Cody goes to the top of the cage, totally misses the moonsault press on Road Dogg and gets caught by the Fameasser to give Billy the pin at 16:10.

Rating: D+. This was a very boring match that didn’t need to be in a cage except for the big spot at the end. I’m assuming the Brothers are going to be splitting up soon which isn’t the worst idea in the world. It also helps that they didn’t go with the losing streak angle to set up the title change.

Zack Ryder vs. Titus O’Neil

Titus has new heel music which starts out sounding like the reveal of a villain in an over the top action movie before transitioning into something more like the Prime Time Players’ song. Titus gets in a hard shot to the face to start and sends Ryder out to the floor. Miz comes to commentary to complain about a guy barking like a dog and a guy with a fake internet championship being on Raw when he isn’t.

Miz says there’s something wrong with that and immediately walks off. That sounded like a heel turn. Titus puts on a bearhug before taking Ryder down with a clothesline. Ryder makes a brief comeback with the Broski Boot but walks into a BIG Clash of the Titus for the pin at 2:46.

Profile on Ernie Ladd for Black History Month.

Time for a dance off because that’s what WWE is all about. It’s Fandango vs. Santino Marella but Santino thinks it should be Summer vs. a member of the audience. Naturally he picks Emma and it’s the same bit they did in NXT: Summer actually dances and Emma does her goofy stuff that the fans like and cheer for. Notice the difference here: Emma is a fun character doing goofy stuff whereas Vickie Guerrero can’t dance and we’re laughing at her instead of with her. Emma wins and JBL says he’s going to be sick.

Ad for Legends House on the WWE Network.

Sheamus vs. Curtis Axel

Sheamus easily takes Axel down to start before pounding him around the ring. Axel gets to the apron and tries a neckbreaker because he’s not that bright. Sheamus easily counters into the ten forearms before a big clothesline sends Curtis outside. Back in and Axel avoids a charge to send the recently repaired shoulder into the post. Curtis drops an elbow on the shoulder before cranking on an armbar. Sheamus fights up after a good while in the hold and hits the rolling fireman’s carry. The Brogue Kick is enough for the pin at 7:03.

Rating: D-. WAY too long here with that armbar draining the life out of the match. There’s nothing wrong with Sheamus getting another win to show off after being gone for so long. Axel still isn’t great but I like him in the ring. He just didn’t have a chance at all here though and everyone knew it.

Here’s Batista to speak but Del Rio interrupts. Blast it all. He says Batista has been in Hollywood while Del Rio was winning titles and it takes cahones to be a champion. Thankfully they get right to the brawl with Del Rio punching Batista in the face, only to have to bail to avoid a Batista Bomb attempt.

Dolph Ziggler/R-Truth/Xavier Woods vs. Wyatt Family

Rowan runs over Woods to start and all three of the Wyatts get their turn on him. Bray hits his especially violent stomps as the fans want Ziggler. That’s exactly what they get as everything breaks down. Wyatt hits something resembling a chokeslam on Truth as things settle back down. Bray leans upside down to look at Ziggler before Sister Abigail lays him out for the pin at 5:08. Total squash.

Rating: D. This was another of those moments that gets on my nerves: WWE has Ziggler cut a great promo after Smackdown about how angry he is and they acknowledge it here, only to have him squashed in the same match as Woods and Truth who aren’t going anywhere. Nothing to see here other than the Wyatts being creepy.

Shield comes on screen post match and says they’re coming for the Wyatts. Bray says he welcomes this war.

Alexander Rusev and Lana are coming.

Naomi vs. Aksana

Alicia Fox is in Aksana’s corner but AJ and Tamina come out to watch as well. It’s a dance off to start with AJ calling Naomi a baked potato. So she’s good with sour cream? Naomi hits a Bubba Bomb and rolls Aksana round on the mat for two. Aksana comes back with a wheelbarrow slam as AJ says Tamina failed her in the tag matches where Naomi pinned her.

Aksana puts on a chinlock as we randomly go to a wide shot of the arena. Back with Aksana holding Naomi in a figure four necklock. Naomi fights up with some dropkicks and a headscissors with some gyrations. A knee to the face puts Naomi down as the match grinds to a halt. Naomi quickly takes her down again and hits the split legged moonsault for the pin at 4:51.

Rating: D. I can’t stand the Divas at this point. The hip swivel stuff was just annoying with it being nothing more than trying to make the crowd chuckle. Aksana looked horrible out there and the ending with the knee to the face stopped the match cold. It sounds like we’re heading to AJ vs. Tamina though which makes sense.

Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

They have a lot of time for this and it’s non-title. Feeling out process to start with Bryan taking over by throwing Orton down. He sends Randy into the post and wraps the knee around the steel before hitting a running dropkick to drive it into the post. Back in and Bryan throws on a leg lock before turning it over for a two count. Off to a modified Indian deathlock but Randy bites Bryan’s hand to escape.

Daniel will have none of this being in trouble nonsense and gets two off a backslide before taking Orton down with a dragon screw leg whip. He cannonballs down on Orton’s leg to send the champion outside but Bryan follows him out with more kicks to the leg and ribs. All Bryan so far and he throws Orton over the announce table for good measure. Back inside and Bryan gets two off a top rope hurricanrana. There’s the double knee stomp out of a surfboard and Orton is reeling.

Orton gets caught in a half crab and Bryan drags him back to the middle of the ring. Orton gets all serious and crawls to the ropes before heading outside. Randy finally gets in some offense with a belly to back suplex onto the barricade and Daniel is in some trouble. Back in and Randy mouths YES before going off with right hands in the corner. Daniel comes back with kicks to the ribs and knee before moonsaulting over Randy in the corner, only to have the clothesline countered with the powerslam. I love how Orton learns from his past matches and counters signature spots. He’s done that throughout the years and it’s smart.

Back from a break with Bryan hitting more YES Kicks but having his last one countered into a capture suplex. Orton takes him to the floor and sends Bryan’s shoulder into various metal objects for two back inside. Randy cranks on a Fujiwara armbar before just stomping at the arm instead. The bad arm is draped across the top rope but Daniel fights out of a superplex with rights and lefts to the ribs.

Bryan puts Orton down with a missile dropkick but injures his arm again. They slug it out with Bryan taking over with kicks until Randy grabs the arm and wrenches it to the mat to get the advantage back. There’s the YES Lock out of nowhere but Orton is quickly in the ropes. Bryan goes back to the alternating kicks in the corner but hurts his arm again on a running dropkick. The injury slows him down enough that Orton is able to hit a running dropkick of his own to put Bryan back down. Sell the freaking knee Randy.

The Elevated DDT would look to set up the RKO but Bryan kicks him square in the head to block. Bryan goes up, points with one arm, and hits the flying headbutt for a VERY close two. There are the YES Kicks to the chest and the big one to the head has Orton down. Here’s Kane who is dropkicked off the apron almost immediately. Orton is low bridged to the floor as well and the FLYING GOAT puts both of them down. Kane is sent into the steps and the RKO is countered into the running knee for the clean pin at 26:58.

Rating: B. Good but not great match here. The biggest in ring problem here was Orton forgetting about the knee injury after the break. It was a very good match and I’m so glad they didn’t have Bryan lose because of the interference. That being said, I’m not wild on Orton losing clean in the middle of the ring to anyone at all, but at least it was Bryan.

Kane and Orton double team Bryan with no one making the save to end the show.

Overall Rating: C. There were some bad parts here but in perhaps the only instance of this ever, I don’t think there were any backstage segments tonight. It was all about the in ring action tonight and it was a very nice change of pace from the usual Raw formula. That being said, there were a lot of problems tonight as well.

First of all, there wasn’t a standout match until the main event. The first two matches were decent enough but they’re nothing I’m going to remember in a few days. I liked Miz coming out in the Titus match to protest stuff but at the end of the day it’s still Miz. Things are shaping up heading into the Chamber, but with the amount of stars missing, there are a lot of ways they could go heading into Wrestlemania and that’s not the best thing in the world. Different but not great show, making this a decent birthday show for me.

Results

Shield b. Rey Mysterio/Big E. Langston/Kofi Kingston – Bulldog driver to Langston

Christian b. Jack Swagger – Sunset flip

New Age Outlaws b. Cody Rhodes/Goldust – Fameasser to Rhodes

Titus O’Neil b. Zack Ryder – Clash of the Titus

Sheamus b. Curtis Axel – Brogue Kick

Wyatt Family b. Xavier Woods/R-Truth/Dolph Ziggler – Sister Abigail to Ziggler

Naomi b. Aksana – Split legged moonsault

Daniel Bryan b. Randy Orton – Running knee

Remember to follow me on Twitter @kbreviews and pick up my new book of on the History of Summerslam at Amazon for just $4 at:

And check out my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just $4 at:

Monday Night Raw
Date: January 1, 1996
Location: Bob Carpenter Center, Newark, Delaware
Commentators: Vince McMahon, Jerry Lawler

So for some reason, the WWF felt the need to do a football themed show called the Raw Bowl. There isn’t much to it other than an elimination tag match with time outs and everyone in football jerseys. Other than that it’s a normal episode of Raw with a lot of extra jokes and puns from Lawler. Let’s get to it.

The opening video has Vince making a lot of football jokes and hypes this up as some big annual event even though it never happened again. Apparently Coach Blassie is getting the wrestlers ready in the back.

Smoking Gunns vs. Savio Vega/Razor Ramon vs. Sid/1-2-3 Kid vs. Owen Hart/Yokozuna

This is the Raw Bowl which isn’t even for the Gunns’ tag titles. Vince and Jerry’s commentary is already irritating with Razor being called a perennial Raw Bowler and Savio being referred to as a walk-on. Goldust’s usher tries to give Razor some gold roses and gets punched in the face. Sid and the Kid are part of DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team which Vince says is under investigation by the NAACP for recruiting violations. Lawler: “OFFSIDES MCMAHON!” This is under elimination rules and each team has a time out they can use at any time.

The mat is green with football lines painted on and Earl Hebner is dressed like an NFL referee, complete with flags. Owen and Bart get us going but it’s quickly off to Billy to face his partner. They make the required contact before tagging in Owen and Yoko to fire up the crowd. Owen is forced to get in with threat of a penalty flag and bounces off Yoko with a shoulder block. Off to Vega to face the fat man but he’s quickly taken down with a Samoan drop.

Yoko tags out to Vega as Lawler mentions a lot of penalties. A spinwheel kick gets two on the Kid and it’s back to Owen who gets two of his own with an enziguri. King hits on some chick who has been named Raw Bowl Queen. Back to the ring with Bart vs. Razor before it’s quickly back to Savio. Vega quickly tags off to Sid as the crowd goes silent. Bart is taken down by some shoulders but he comes back with a very nice delayed vertical suplex on the big man.

Savio replaces Bart and is immediately pounded down by Sid, who quickly tags Owen back in. Owen scores with a quick enziguri and tags in the Kid for a spinwheel kick to the jaw. Yoko comes back in as we cut back to Brother Love in the locker room talking about something I can’t make out. Yoko doesn’t stay in long at all before it’s back to Kid who misses a legdrop on Savio, allowing for the tag to Razor.

The fallaway slam puts the Kid down but he calls a quick timeout to prevent a Razor’s Edge. Razor hits it anyway but DiBiase gets up on the apron for a penalty. Either way, Sid clotheslines Razor from behind to give the Kid the easy pin. Down to three teams now and we take a break. Back with Yoko and Owen taking turns pounding on Bart.

Hart misses a top rope splash and Bart is able to tag Billy for some cleaning of the house. The offense is quickly cut off by a kick from the Kid to knock Billy down. Owen drags Billy over for a Banzai Drop but Bart pulls his brother away, leaving Owen to take the fat man drop. Yokozuna doesn’t realize what he did until too late and Owen’s unconscious body is pinned to get us down to two.

Sid comes right in and stomps on Billy, then he stomps on Billy, then he stomps on Billy against the ropes. Kid comes in with a dropkick in the corner to set up a clothesline from Sid for two. Bart gets on the middle rope to play cheerleader but Sid kicks Billy in the face to silence the crowd immediately. Billy walks into a chokeslam (Jerry: “Intentional grounding!”) but Sid picks him up instead of covering. Bart gets kicked off the apron to distract the referee as Razor runs out to shove Kid into Sid, giving Billy a fluke pin.

Rating: C-. This was really just a bunch of annoying and unfunny jokes over an elimination tag match. I don’t know why the titles weren’t on the line here because otherwise it’s more goofy than important. The timeouts didn’t really change anything and the gimmick didn’t matter at all. Not a bad match but the tag division was so worthless around this time that it wasn’t going to reach anything more than moderately interesting.

We get a halftime report with Doc Hendrix which is a glorified parody of football halftime shows and includes a plug for the Rumble, no interview from Diesel, and a clip of Jeff Jarrett attacking Ahmed Johnson.

I’ll give them credit for this: they have a marching band playing them back from the halftime show. Nice touch.

Now, since they don’t have enough ideas to fill in 43 minutes, here’s the hogpen match with Henry Godwinn vs. Hunter Hearst Helmsley from In Your House 5, held only a few weeks ago.

Hunter Hearst Helmsley vs. Henry Godwinn

This is a hogpen match, meaning there’s an actual hog pen with pigs and mud near the entrance and the winner is the first man to send his opponent into said pin. Why is this match happening you ask? Simply put it’s because Godwinn is a hog farmer so he associates with hogs. One note characters like him had a lot to do with the downfall of the WWF at this point, as there’s no interest to such characters, meaning there’s no reason to stick around and watch them. The guest referee is 1980s crowd favorite Hillbilly Jim.

Godwinn slops the ring announcer before the match starts for no apparent reason. Helmsley jumps Godwinn but is quickly sent to the floor for his efforts. Back in and Henry ties him in the ropes so he can rub more slop in Helmsley’s face. After nearly retching, Helmsley takes it back to the floor, only to be bulldogged face first into the steps.

They head up the pen with Henry being whipped into the gate but still managing to block a Pedigree attempt with a backdrop. Helmsley lands on the edge of the pen and kicks Henry down before dropping an elbow to the chest. Lawler makes Jeff Foxworthy style jokes about being from Arkansas as they head back inside where Godwinn hits a big wheelbarrow slam. Helmsley is whipped to two corners and out to the floor for another handful of slop. Henry hits the Slop Drop up by the pen but can’t follow up. Instead he charges at Helmsley and gets backdropped into the slop to end things.

Rating: C-. This actually wasn’t that bad as it was a regular match until the ending. Again though, why am I supposed to care? It’s the lowest level of comedy and storytelling possible, which doesn’t mean it’s necessarily bad, but we have no reason to care about either of these guys so why should I be interested in the match?

Post match Henry slams Helmsley into the pen for fun. That’s a nice idea as at least the fans get the (limited) payoff.

Next week: the main event from In Your House 5! My goodness.

King Mabel vs. Diesel

Bell, big boot, Mabel is pinned in less than ten seconds. WHY DID THIS NOT MAIN EVENT SUMMERSLAM 95???

Jerry is about to get an interview with Diesel when the Queen gets up and walks off with Diesel instead.

It’s time for the Lombardi Trophy presentation. The STEVE LOMBARDI TROPHY presentation that is, which at least gets a smile out of me. Brooklyn Brawler presents it to the Gunns and gets beaten up for his efforts. A cooler of iced tea is dumped on him as well.

We run down the entrants in the Rumble and VADER is officially entered. We get his debut video here.

We go to Billionaire Ted’s Wrasslin War Room for one of those HILARIOUS WCW parodies. Ted asks for new ideas and the top suggestion is they incorporate moves from wrestlers such as Razor Ramon and Diesel. Oh that makes me laugh a lot to end the show.

Overall Rating: D+. This wasn’t so much bad as it was unnecessary. The football jokes and references really just make me want to change the channel and watch the Rose Bowl instead of an uninteresting four team tag match. Other than that there’s really nothing here and it was a good sign of things to come for the company in 1996.

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Since the Royal Rumble extra thoughts post went over so well I figured I’d try it again with Raw. I won’t be making this a regular thing unless there’s a big show where a lot of stuff happens. Let’s get to it.

The opening promo was absolutely awesome and did several things that it needed to accomplish. First and foremost, it caused the Authority to to act like heels for the first time in a long time. For many weeks now they’ve been the smug semi-faces that played to the crowd and acted like they were doing something to please the fans. HHH and Stephanie came off like total villains last night and it’s exactly what they were supposed to be doing.

On top of that, the promo advanced several feuds at the same time. It gave Sheamus something to do as soon as he gets back, it puts Cena in the Chamber to keep him in the title scene while keeping him directly away from Orton, and it gives Bryan the shot at the title that the people have been wanting him to have all along. It also keeps Shield front and center which is never a bad thing.

I’m going to lump all of the matches save for the main event into one big pile. Last night’s wrestling really didn’t do much for me and a lot of that is due to the amount of rematches we had. Usos vs. Ryback/Axel again, Kofi vs. Del Rio in their monthly meeting and Truth vs. Fandango because they’re both dancers. No the matches don’t happen every week like some of the feuds we get, but they happen often enough that we don’t need to see them for a long time.

It’s a big problem in WWE that needs to be addressed. With as deep of a roster as WWE has, there’s no excuse to not have a fresh match every few weeks. It’s ok to mix things up a bit instead of just doing the same stuff over and over again, even though it’s all WWE seems they’re capable of doing anymore.

That brings us to the big segment in the middle of the show with Orton, Batista and Brock Lesnar. The key thing here is the amount of doors this segment opened. It’s possible that we could be seeing Batista vs. Brock at the Elimination Chamber for the Mania title shot, or that Brock could enter into the Chamber, or that we could wind up with a three way out of all this (erg). The best thing though is that it could be one of several ideas and I’m not sure which one. That’s always a great feeling and it’s what I got last night.

However, the one option I don’t care to see is Batista vs. Del Rio at the Chamber. No matter how many midcarders Del Rio beats up, he’s a jobber at the main event level and has been for years now. Batista may not be the hottest thing in the world, but he’s more interesting than Del Rio. No one is going to buy that Del Rio is going to make Batista tap or pin him after the superkick. It would be a filler match with what sounds like very uninteresting chemistry.

The Tag Title match was nothing special but the Outlaws showed they’ve still got it. They were playing the same characters they did before, but somehow they haven’t aged in the fifteen years they’ve been gone. I don’t see them being long term champions and would love to see the Usos take the belts off of them, but there’s just not much to them in the ring. To be fair though, there wasn’t when they were in their prime either.

Brock interfering keeps things open but I was surprised that there was nothing to follow it up later in the show. I was expecting the Authority to come out and address Brock but the less interaction I see between HHH and Brock Lesnar, the better my experience watching Raw goes. Lesnar continues to be terrifying, which is in part due to him throwing chairs everywhere. He needs to watch it with that.

The main event was absolutely awesome with both teams looking great. Sheamus is certainly back and in the same shape he was in before his injury. That’s a good sign as so many people leave and then come back with a totally different look and physique that takes six months to get back to normal. As for the match, Bryan vs. Rollins stole the show as Seth continues to be the workhorse of the team. Reigns is starting to get his signature moveset together as you can see the big push coming.

The ending was perfect as neither team deserved to job, Reigns got to break the STF, and we set up a future match. Yeah lost in all this was the future Wyatts vs. Shield match which people have been drooling over for months now. The Shield isn’t going to be around much longer and this is the one big match that people have been wanting to see for a long time. It’ll be a nice addition to the Chamber, unless Bray and/or Reigns are added to the Chamber itself and the six man is at Wrestlemania.

A few other notes about the show:

Jake Roberts is a great choice for the Hall of Fame. He worked very hard to get his life back in order and deserves the honor for the DDT alone. This might be the better idea than putting him in the Rumble where he might have injured himself falling out of the ring.

A lot of people were missing from last night’s show, including Punk, Langston and Rusev. I kept thinking Punk wasn’t looking right during the Rumble so maybe he’s banged up after all the wear and tear he’s built up over the last few months. Langston might have needed a week off after the Rumble as well, given that it wasn’t his night. I hope Rusev appears more than just once in the Rumble as the guy has potential.

Oh and Christian is back on Friday. Uh….yay.

Overall it wasn’t a great show but it did what it was supposed to do. The wrestling wasn’t great but it was able to get us through the night until we hit the awesome main event. More than anything else though it set things up on the Road to Wrestlemania and calmed the fans down after they were on the verge of rioting at the Rumble. The crowd wasn’t a very big deal last night but that’s a good thing at the moment. Good but not great show.

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